#Because when I first saw the promos I genuinely wondered if they were gonna pull a Dogma

[orionsangel86]

Just waiting for you to post a separate gainmanverse angel 🍆 meta

LMAO

...

I feel like this would become controversial very quickly... Hmm lets see... "Which beloved Neil Gaiman characters have dicks? A Meta Analysis" (I'm cry laughing at this thought!)

Also what if it got back to Neil? I couldn't live with myself!!

I WILL post the nude Morpheus pics for all to see without a hint of shame though if anyone dared me because I am already so amazed no one has done that yet. This man sent his own sex tape to the entire collective unconscious he can stand to have a few nudes leaked on tumblr.com

(Things I learnt from Overture which I really didn't expect to learn from Overture: The exact shape and heft and manscaping choices of Dream of the Endless's dick and balls. Thanks Overture! I think.)

[oldsmobile-hotdogs]

Questions for crossover jatp ghosts crossover fic: I hope Julian and the sunset curve boys talk about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Yugoslav wars that happened when they were alive + Bill Cilnton. I wonder what pat and the band would talk about considering that they would of been kids when pat died? Do you think Julie would think of Les Mis and Hamilton cos Thomas and Kitty are from about the same time period as those musicals? I hope Julie calls Fanny Mary poppins.

Anon, or "Mimi", or "Lulu", or, heck, maybe even "Carl Birtles": Update: Not Carl Birtles. Carl Birtles sent me an ask and is cool, actually.

Stop. Right now. I'd say stop while you're ahead, but you are so far away from ahead at this point it's laughable.

For everyone confused, this is that "commenter from AO3" I joked about making a 2017-esque story time video about.

A couple days ago I uploaded the first chapter of a Julie and the Phantoms/BBC Ghosts crossover fic.

You know what? I’m gonna promo it here bc it’s my callout post and I can shill if I want to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30681704/chapters/76661471

It was generally very well received and I've had a blast interacting with readers.

Except for this.

Honestly, there's so much to get into, so I’m putting it under a cut:

This was their first correspondence (email notif bc I deleted the comment, the deletion to be explained later):

(Funnily enough, the links very much do not work on AO3, making the comment only more jarring)

I gave you *so much* benefit of the doubt when I saw this comment, and assumed that maybe you're an ESL user, just very enthusiastic to share ideas, and I pretty much said so in my reply, but know that at that point I'd already had friends- who fucking know about this, don't you dare think you're getting me alone- tell me that you were being very demanding.

Below was my reply (another email notif):

I'm gonna be honest, I think I responded really well to what I was given, and now that I'd replied, I was pretty certain the situation was dealt with. You, evidently, didn't agree, as shown by your reply to my reply:

A word of advice: when replying to someone, at least pretend like you read what they wrote.

At this point I'm left wondering two things:

What do they expect from me, if a general reply is not it?

How much more shit do they have waiting to tell me to put in my- reminder, JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover, rated T, comedic- fic?

In order to avoid finding out either, I freeze the thread on AO3. I'm liveblogging all of this on Discord.

It's then that I notice that the username on AO3 isn't clickable, so even if I wanted to block or report them I couldn't. I assume, therefore, that they've deactivated, and since them seeing their comments gone and getting angry was the only thing stopping me deleting the comments, I delete the comments.

It's also at this point I see "Mimi" never left kudos. I guess I don't deserve praise until I mention "Bill Cilnton".

There's relative calm for a short amount of time, until I get another comment:

This one is much kinder than the others and doesn't mention any specific, weird, historical events, so the extent to which I think this is "Mimi" is debatable, but bestie I'm weirded out enough that anything that even uses the enter bar unnecessarily and misses out conjunctive words like "because" and "and" is going to activate fight or flight. Update: Carl Birtles is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl was just being genuinely kind and I misinterpreted it and that's on me.

However, "Carl"'s case is not helped by the fact I can't click his account either, that AO3 offers me the ability to report it as spam, and that guess who replies to "Carl"'s comment: Update: Carl, having done nothing wrong as he has, is therefore also a victim in the situation that is being replied to by Lulu. It would seem Lulu is trying to correct??? some of Carl's commentary.

You must think I didn't get a 7 on my English Literature GCSE because you seem to underestimate my ability to compare two texts.

So clearly this is "Mimi", who has also just replied to "Carl". "Lulu" is also deactivated, and I've fallen off the end of my tether, let alone reached it, at this point so I mark it as spam. "Carl" gets to stay bc he said the idea for the crossover was good. Update: Carl also gets to continue to stay because I have it on good faith that he's a stand-up dude.

So at this point you've readily admitted through your inability to shake up your writing style to using at least one sockpuppet to convince me to talk about the "Yugoslav wars".

If "Carl Birtles" is the real(-est) of them, and "Mimi" and "Lulu" are the sockpuppets, by the way, I have questions and ideas about what you do on your free evenings and I want them neither confirmed nor answered. Update: This is slanderous and I want to apologise wholeheartedly to Carl for making assumptions about him and judging his character. Once again, he is not Mimi or Lulu. He's just a normal, cool guy.

And now you come to me, on the day of my daughter's wedding on a different platform, leave me an anon ask in the exact same format as you're so fond of, and expect any different ??

Well, yeah, then I guess I'll give you special treatment this time.

Here's exactly why I will never include anything you have told me to include:

Julian and the Phantoms discussing the Berlin Wall would be highly inappropriate for the largely fluffy, cracky tone of my fanfiction, especially given how recently the event occurred, how many Eastern Germans still experience prejudice to this day because they were born within the old borders of the DDR, and because of how nuanced this, essentially proxy war, was and how ill-informed a huge amount of the world is on the actual factors in play during this time and the Cold War in general.

Julian and the Phantoms will not discuss Yugoslavia dissolving, nor the fallout and conflict that resulted, because it was genocidal. There is nowhere I can fit Julian, pantsted, casually asking Luke “hey do you remember when the Herzegovinas were killed en masse by the Serbs?” Not gonna happen.

They won’t discuss Bill Clinton because all of them know who the current world leaders are: they don’t have amnesia, they’re ghosts. The fic is also rated T, so it would be inappropriate to make any explicit reference to “sexual relations”. None of them play saxophone.

Julie wouldn’t think of Les Mis or Hamilton because Thomas is Regency, not French Revolution, and Kitty is Georgian, not Colonial.

Julie won’t be calling Fanny Mary Poppins because she is perpetually stuck in a white dress, doesn’t wear a hat, doesn’t own an umbrella or a purse and was not the nanny or housekeeper of Button House.

The ghosts will not discuss the marvels of modern transportation or how long it would’ve taken to cross the Atlantic on dinghy because the ghosts have seen Friends. The house irl is on a flight path. They know airplanes exist. Alison and Mike pulled up in a car.

I will probably have the phantoms and Willie talk to Pat and Julian about being from the ‘80s and ‘90s. That I will actually probably do.

The Captain will not mention FD Roosevelt because, again, they all know who the current world leaders are, and I doubt he expects a ‘90s pop punk band to have any insider knowledge on the man.

It was interesting to think of the phantoms’ grandparents having been alive during WW2. I wasn’t lying. But there is nearly nothing I can do with this information.

But above all: both sets of ghosts have already adapted to modern life. Because the shows are shorter, and meant to actually be able to fit jokes in them.

If you want to see any of this, write your own damn fic. I don’t own the concept of a JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover.

What you will not do, “consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel”-nim, is hound me on multiple accounts and then change platform to hound me again. I’m absolutely not having it.

I have never received an interaction quite like this before, and I cannot help but wonder if this is because this is my first work in the Ghosts/HH/Them There/Six Idiots/Yonderland/Bill fandom: that this is where you primarily camp out.

So it’s at this point I ask the Them There/Six Idiots fandom if they have/if they know anyone who has had a run-in with this person or thinks they may have, or if anyone perhaps even knows who this is? Maybe I’m just one of many. Maybe this is a necessary fandom evil I was unaware of.

This experience has left me royally freaked out, as one might imagine, especially since my anxiety in general has been acting up due to it being exam season. I want to thank everyone who’s read my rambles on Discord and on here and even listened to them irl and offered support from the bottom of my heart.

I’ve enabled comment moderation on the fic. I will continue to write it, and I will put exactly what I, and only what I, want in it.

Believe it or not, I wanted to do literally anything else today.

Anon: Fucking Leave Me Alone.

Update: Just reiterating: Carl is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl is a cool dude and I want to sincerely apologise for having brought him into this mess, passing judgment on his character, and making him feel like he should stop practicing English online.

[terrifictomholland]

beautiful - Tom Holland x reader

word count: 2K

warnings: a curse word here and there, this is pure fluff!

I’ve had a bit of a dryspell coming up with something to write, but thanks to @xoluvx​ I managed to come up with an idea last night, so here we go! :)

"Hi! I'm Tom Holland!" "And I'm Y/N L/N, we're here at Buzzfeed to let this nutter do my makeup for me today," you teased nudging his shoulder with yours. He let out a small laugh glancing at you.

"You should really be good to me here, I'm the one who decided what you'll end up looking like," he smirked grabbing one of your makeup brushes as a weapon making you giggle. 

You and Tom had just begun promo for the rom-com the two of you were in. Today, you had Buzzfeed on the agenda so, instead of the usual interviews, the two of you were getting to play around, so Tom was going to do your makeup for you. Which, to be honest, had you both excited and slightly terrified. You'd seen his attempt at drawing, he sucked at it. "Yeah I'm not counting on much, I've seen your drawing capabilities Holland, you suck," you giggled hearing the offended noise leave his lips. "Oh fuck off," he snorted and you hid your face against his arm, shaking with giggles. "If there's anyone here who should be worried, it's me," you said dramatically, glancing over behind the lights and cameras, seeing the crew there watching the two of you with fondness and laughing. "Alright alright, let's stop bullying my artistic side and let's do this!" he said clapping his hands, rubbing them together seeing all of your makeup products lined up in front of him.  He glanced over at you seemingly unsure, "Am I meant to use all of this?" he questioned and you smiled seeing him so out of his depth, "You can use whatever you want to use," you encouraged and he nodded, not seeming very comforted by that. 

You sat back watching him pick through your stuff, reading the labels and seeing what everything was for. He looked adorable with his furrowed brows and his tongue poking out in concentration,

"And here we have a very rare sight, Tom Holland actually being focused," you narrated in a very over the top and teasing voice,seeing the corners of his mouth pulling up as he grinned, but kept reading on the labels.   "You're a dick," was his reply, you simply blew him a kiss with a wide grin on your face. 

You loved interacting with him like this, showing off your playful side together. You knew the fans loved the two of you together and shipped you hardcore, but the two of you had never actually confirmed or denied that you were dating.  The two of you were, but it was something you'd wanted to keep to yourselves for as long as you could. 

But you knew the cat would be out of the bag very soon, since you were doing the promo and press for the film now. "Aw thanks babe, so have you decided how you want to start?" you asked turning your body, facing him and he nodded, "I mean, the face base stuff?" he asked tilting his head slightly to the side. You bit the inside of your cheek at how adorable he was. 

For someone who'd been in the business and so many makeup trailers as he had, how little knowledge he had on the terminologies of makeup was just the cutest thing in your opinion, "The face base stuff? Do you mean to prime my skin?" you smiled, "I've already moisturized so you don't need to do that," you added seeing the way he nodded. "It's this right?" he asked holding up the tube of primer and you nodded, "Do I use a brush?" "Well look at you being all fancy," you teased and he rolled his eyes fondly, "Nah, you can use your hands if you want, it's usually what I do," "But you don't know where my hands have been," he smirked as he started massaging the primer into your skin, making you giggle. "If this whole acting thing doesn't work out for you, becoming a massage therapist should definitely be on the cards," you said watching him concentrate, picking up a tube of CC cream looking at you as if to ask if this was okay, you nodded, you preferred CC cream over foundation any day, "What that cream can't cover, use some concealer," you encouraged seeing him smile at you, "You don't need any of this, you're beautiful as you are without makeup on," he said and you blushed feeling butterflies flop around in your stomach. "That's so sickeningly cheesy but I love it, thank you," you said looking at him adoringly, letting him finish up with your skin. "Now what?" he asked looking at you, "What do you want to do next?" his mouth tugged up into a smirk, 

"You," he stated simply making your jaw drop slightly and you looked around you feeling the colour rush to your cheeks.

"Thomas," you scolded hearing him laughing and you couldn't help but to laugh too, "Do you want to do my eyes?" you asked changing the subject back to makeup and he was still smirking, knowing that this was getting under your skin and he loved it, loved seeing the affect his words had on you. "Yeah, let's do eyes," he said at last, having a few eyeshadow palettes to choose from. Without you so much as prompting him to chose, he chose your favourite one which made you smile. 

He was holding the palette and brush in either hand, "Close your eyes," he said so you complied feeling him put some eyeshadow on there. You being a shithead that you were suddenly yelped out, "Ow!" and immediately he pulled back, genuine concern in his features, "What, what's wrong?" he asked in a small panic and you couldn't help it as you cracked up, holding onto him as you started full on laughing, tears forming in your eyes as you kept on laughing, "You l-looked so worried," you choked out in between fits of laughter and you felt him relax when he realized you were messing with him. "Oh my god I was so scared I poked your eye out! You can't do that to me, I'm a frail old man!" he said clutching his heart, joining in the laughter too. "You're not that old!" you laughed finally managing to catch your breath. 

Every now and then a few giggles slipped out, but you closed your eyes letting Tom do the eyeshadow. You had no idea what he was actually doing, or how you looked because the view-finder was turned the other way. You wanted it to be a complete surprise by the time Tom was finished.   He kept doing that for a while, you felt him blending and adding more stuff on your eyes. "Hang on," he muttered mostly to himself and without any warning you could feel him blowing air on your eyelids making you startle, your eyes opening and looking at him amused, "What are you doing?" you wondered with a small laugh, he blushed, but recovered also laughing with you now. "You had something on your eyelid, so, I wanted it gone," he shrugged as if it was the most obvious explanation. "So you blew it away?" you raised your eyebrow seeing him nod, "Interesting technique Holland," you teased, 

“I’ll show you technique later,” his smirk being the last thing you saw as you shut your eyes again, letting him finish up.

The two of you making small talk about the movie while he kept applying makeup to your face,  occasionally the producer asked movie-related questions too which neither of you minded. "Time for lips!" he exclaimed with a boyish grin, you knew he loved your lips, about as much as you loved his. 

That was why you brought more lipsticks than anything else, and he lit up looking at all of them, carefully selecting and humming to himself, you shook your head at his antics. "Feels like this is gonna be a deal breaker if you don't chose right with the way you're humming and mumbling to yourself," you pointed out and he glanced at you, "This is a very important step I'll have you know, not one I'm gonna fuck up either," he stated with an arrogant nod of his head. "Alright hot shot, what'ya got?" you grinned and he shook his head, "I'd like you to close your eyes please, I want this as a surprise," he said and you raised an eyebrow, looking at him curiously before you closed your eyes. "Alright, you better not make me look like a clown!" you mock-threatened and you heard his soft laughter, then, suddenly his lips were on yours. As fast as he kissed you, he pulled away making you pout just a little, "I'd never make you look like a clown," he started, "Intentionally," he teased making you snort. "Just get it on with," you grinned, "Alright, no smiling or else you actually will look like a clown," he said so you turned serious, feeling him put the lipstick on your lips. "Mush them together," which you did, pressing them together for him, hearing the pleased noise he let out, "Can I open my eyes?" "Oh! Yeah, you can open them now," he chuckled so you opened your eyes seeing his smiling face, "You look so lovely," he said sincerely making you blush once again, "Thank you," you said bashfully, letting him finish the look.

Not long after that, a mirror was brought in and Tom was looking more nervous as you were about to see what he'd done to your face. "Are you okay?" you asked placing your hand on his thigh underneath the table, his hand immediately on top of yours squeezing it, "Yeah, I'm nervous now for you to see this," he smiled and you did too, "Well, let's rip the band aid off," you said excitedly, taking the cloth off the mirror and you saw the end result for the first time. "Wow," you said absolutely stunned, looking over at Tom who gave you a tentative smile, "Damn Holland, this isn't bad!" you praised leaning closer to the mirror. All in all, he hadn't done a bad job whatsoever. 

The finish on your skin was looking gorgeous, maybe a little more highlighter than you'd normally use yourself but it worked. The eyeshadow looked really nice and blended, his eyeliner had been a bit wonky, but for being the first time ever he'd done it brilliantly. Some minor smudges with the mascara but you could oversee it, easily. "I love the lips," you emphasized smiling widely at him. He'd chosen one of your favourite lipsticks, a deep red shade that accentuated your lips making them look plumper and fuller. "So do I," he grinned, "I did a pretty good job didn't I?" he asked and you smiled nodding, "You absolutely did gorgeous," you leaned forward pecking him, you felt his hand rest on your hip, giving it a squeeze which was still hidden from view, under the table. "Well, that's it! Thanks for watching me turning this one into a Goddess and not a clown!" Tom grinned and you let out a giggle, rolling your eyes, "Thanks for turning me into a Goddess," you grinned glancing at him, then the cameras giving them a wave. You waited til the producer nodded his head, signalling that the video was done. "That was fun," you grinned at Tom, wrapping your arms around his waist looking up at him once the two of you had a moment alone. 

His arms were wrapped around your waist too, him leaning down pecking your lips repeatedly, "It really was, didn't think I'd like doing your makeup as much as I did," he confessed making you grin, "It was cute seeing you look so focused," you teased feeling his hands slip down to your ass, giving it a squeeze. "Shush you," he grinned, "Make me," you challenged. leaning up to press a kiss on his sweet spot, right below his ear. "Yeah? You know what?" he tilted his head, making you hum as you took his earlobe in your mouth, lightly sucking, "What?" you whispered in his ear, feeling him shiver and he squeezed your ass even harder. "You'd look real pretty with those red lips sucking my cock,"

[italicwatches]

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 06

I should probably watch some anime today. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 06! Here we GO!

-It’s February 11th, just a bit after the Squad Jam. And LLENN is in GGO, down in the cash shop where THEY HAVE A NEW P90 IN STOCK FUCK YEAHHHHHHH! P-chan, daughter of P-chan, is born! LLENN loves her submachine guns so much. It’s a wholesome love between a woman and her gun.

-And hey, there’s Eva! What’s the Boss doing in a place like this?

-Opening! You know, sidenote, I’m wondering if GGO has some level of self-identity thing going on. Like, it’s one thing that Karen and Saki each happened to get a form that matched who they wanted to be…But the entire team of tiny girls who wish they were bigger and got more respect, waking up in GGO as tall, buff amazons? On top of Karen, who wants to be cute and adorable and the little spoon, waking up as literally the smallest size the system allows? That feels a little too unlikely to just be the odds.

-The 15th. It’s the post-credits from episode one, as the whole of Saki’s crew is there watching the highlights from Karen’s performance in the Squad Jam, and seeing just how much crazy shit she pulled off before they fought her. You’re a MONSTER, Karen-san! A total BADASS!

-Karen is still trying to properly hook this gaggle of adorable schoolgirls she’s somehow befriended, to the terrifying amazons who pushed her to the brink. Saki is all huffy about how Karen is still kind of scared of Eva. Well what about Sophie, huh? Look at their gunner, she’s huge!

-Yeah but she has a gentler demeanor, as we start getting connections. So, Saki is Eva. Kana, with the bob cut, is Sophie. Mi, the blonde, has the sharpshooter Toma, and has learned to drive stick because she’s been overseas. The one with those cutesy rounded eyebrows, Shiori, is Roza the other heavy-gunner. Their second sniper is Moe, who is deeply embarrassed about how she puts on such cool airs in the game. And then there’s Risa, who is Tanya the scout, the closest to anyone’s real self…But still tall and muscled, just the sleek muscles of a runner.

-So that’s the whole gang! By schoolday, they are but the humble high school rhythmic gymnastics club. But by night, they are a vicious crew…And they’re here to talk strategy. They want to walk through the entire encounter and figure out where they dropped the ball! They’re in your care, Karen-san!

-Episode 06! “SAO Loser”

-Also they devour the snacks she gives them because they are, after all, athletic teenagers. And it turns out they’ve only known each other since last April, when they all joined the club…And they were fucking terrible. It’s actually why they got into VR gaming, to learn to communicate physically and sync up properly…After their coach got fed up and quit on them.

-As for why GGO? IT was the fact that it was so different, so far out of their usual context, that they could start from zero and not the outright negative position they were in with their actual sports. A crisp, clear goal, that they all knew they knew nothing about accomplishing. And of course, it’s just plain a good game, so they got super hooked on it!

-Which is why now they’ve got to push for victory in the next proper Squad Jam! What about rhythmic gymnastics…? That too. BUT ESPECIALLY GGO. Now, will you be in the next one?!

-Karen’s…Not so sure. This was kind of sprung on her. She’s not gonna say no, but she can’t say yes. And she doesn’t even know if M will keep playing, let alone want to team up with her again going forward…

-…Saki is sad now. But eventually, they’re all ready to head out, and Karen’s got to get ready for her big trip back to her parents’ place for spring break. Saki is still sad about not having a LLENN to war against in the inevitable next Squad Jam.

-The 24th. Karen’s back in her hometown, out with Miyu, and kind of wishing neither of those things were the case judging by the look on her face. Miyu keeps taking photos of her new look and she saw the highlight reel of you and that M guy! You kicked ASS! Tell her everything, everything! What made you want to split up from M? That was BANANAS!

-So Miyu learns everything…And yeah this Pito chick sounds like a nutter. Just make sure she never knows your meatspace identity and you’ll be fine. Oh, hey, this karaoke bar has some new Elsa songs! You wanna do one? Miyu’s gonna do one. They are gonna get that next set of concert tickets!

-A few days later, Karen’s on the plane back home, and gets a promo email saying that the second Squad Jam has just been announced for early April.

-Sidenote, these things don’t make any sense. Like, look, it was…fifteen teams to start, right? That means the absolute maximum player count in a single Squad Jam is 90 people, holding the 2-6 size limit. Both of the major battle royale centric games right now, PUBG and especially Fortnite (but especially Bart) can rack up a hundred players in…about 30 seconds, give or take. Even in their own squad modes, from what I’ve seen it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get into a match, tops.

-Now, okay, that’s on an American game audience, with something that uses heavy amounts of cross-play and can be played on an incredible variety of devices. So I will freely admit it’s not a 1:1 comparison to VR. But unless the Japanese server only has a couple thousand people on it, tops, getting 30-90 people into a match shouldn’t be the kind of thing so huge it only happens once every few months…Because if it is, how the hell is the game able to keep running and pay for what I have to imagine would be much better servers than an ordinary FPS, to deal with the immense amount of data a full-dive VR player would be sending?

-I know I’m overthinking it, and they’re getting the feel of gaming right. It’s just…I don’t know. Kind of weird the way they’re trying to make the Squad Jams, as an entire concept, into these big Events when that’s not how this shit works. Anyways, it’s another personal sponsorship, with some fine tuned rules, and any of the top four teams are pre-seeded if they choose to enter.

-Oh, and then Saki emailed Karen immediately because WOOOOO SECOND SQUAD JAM! Also, her message is full of more emojis and text emoticons than I think I’ve ever seen in one place. Also Saki wants to eat her treats again so please invite them over sometime soon. …Shit, that kid is blunt.

-When Karen gets back to her place, she finds a guy waiting for her who gets WAYYYY too close and it’s M. So that removes one possibility I had. And now she’s twice freaked out because how the fuck did he find her? Can they go somewhere private to talk about that? Because shit’s gotten Real.

-And that’s how they end up in a little cafe area in the apartment building, I think? Hard to say. But, bluntly, M has to admit that he has no proof of any of his claims, but there’s some shit you need to know. Also, he gives a real name, one Asougi Goushi. Goushi is RIGHT UP ON HER and begging for her help because people’s lives are, for real, on the line.

-His, and Pito’s. …Oh fuck me, what is Pito doing. She’s insane, and they both know it. She’s going to participate, and form a team…And in real life, she said she intends to kill herself if she doesn’t take the gold. But not until she confirms his death.

-Karen would like off this ride now please. This is ludicrous and you should go to the police.

-But…Well, here’s the deal. You know the SAO Incident, right? Thousands of people locked in, forced to fight for their lives. Pito…Wasn’t in that group. She was a beta tester, and became obsessed with the game. On launch day, something came up. She had to delay her entrance into it for just a few hours…Enough for the lockdown to happen, and SAO to become a sealed bubble she couldn’t enter.

-She watched it all on the news. She watched everyone else go through the greatest crucible of their lives. And it broke her. That she lost her shot at entering that crucible, turned her inside out. To have a chance to burn her life out in battle…Ever since VR games became popular again, she’s been throwing every spare moment she had into them. But they don’t satisfy her yearning for the void.

-For a little while, though, things were…stable. Until the SAO Incident was solved, and the survivors started talking. Pito had to confront her ‘lost opportunity’, and learned about the player killers, who committed genuine murder inside the world of SAO. Most of the deaths, outside of those first few chaotic days, were in fact from player killers or from self-defense against them.

-Other sidenote, I don’t know if it’s just one of those Manga Things where shit gets enshrined and used and reused because it’s an easily understood story path, but Japanese gaming culture seems to have this really different attitude towards PvP and attacking other players in general.

-And Pito…Pito envied them. Their chance to put their lives on the line, to kill or be killed. To be them or to strike them down. That’s how fucking insane Pito is!

-Things weren’t so bad when she was burning of steam in GGO…But then she missed the Squad Jam, the first big script-changer event! And it’s caused a relapse. …So she’s going to try and turn Squad Jam 2: Gunfire Boogaloo into a death game. Yes, yes! So again. Why not the cops or professionals.

-…He can’t. Pito’s too important to him. If he goes to the police or psychiatrists, she’ll be killed, jailed or put in a psychiatric ward, and if they try to lock her up she’ll find a way to kill herself. She’d die, and not before destroying herself in the eyes of all the people who rely on her.

-…This is over her pay grade, man. She can’t help you here.

-KABEDON

-Goushi corners her up with the very important move that is Kaibedon, and look. He, loves, Pito! That’s why he has to find a way for this to end in her survival, so he can get her back to center! Karen’s first kabedon, and it’s to hear a guy confess his love for someone else. This is bullshit.

-So they end up sitting back down, with Goushi drinking black coffee, which he hates, but he drinks it because Pito likes it. …Dude just have a sweet drink and mellow. So, okay, talk it out. What’s your plan and why aren’t you scared like when she had P-chan aimed at your damn head?

-Because his real fear isn’t death…It’s leaving Pito behind without him there to keep her grounded. Say he dies. Hell, say Pito kills him. Then…Then what. What if she doesn’t have the will to kill herself? What if she tries for suicide by cop, or worse, what if she breaks down and her resolve cracks entirely? She’d be destroyed. She wouldn’t even have the dignity of death, she’d have a hollow life.

-And okay, explain in very small words how Karen’s supposed to help.

-Enter the SJ 2, face Pito, and defeat her in battle!

-…WHAT?!

-You are the one person who she will accept a defeat from. She made that promise to you! If you defeat her honestly, and if she knows it’s an honest fight…She’ll be stuck to her promise. She’ll have to stay alive, so she can meet you. And that’ll give him time, to pull her back to center and out of this relapse state.

-…This is insane. This is ludicrous. But…If it’s the only option on the board…Guess she’s entering.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Karen’s back in bed, and now has Goushi’s personal email as a way to talk…But Karen needs someone to enter with. Who the hell can LLENN rely…on…Miyu! MIYU SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP! …Miyu is so fucking down. They’re gonna rage, Karen!

I guess SAO’s gonna SAO, huh. Gotta be honest, I would’ve enjoyed this more without the death game angle. But oh well, let’s try and enjoy ourselves next time, in episode SIX of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!