#Because my goal is to buy a house or land within the next 5 years

[smugraccoon137]

Trying to be a good adult today and do some banking stuff 😞

[keefwho]

June 07 - 2023 Wednesday

7:55 AM

I read all my journal entries like I said. It’s hard to not cringe at them because I don’t like observing myself. But I intend to get used to doing it. I want to be able to behold myself without feeling weird about it. 

10:43 PM

This morning while making breakfast I read one of the beginning chapters of my ACT book. One thing stuck out to me, how it said suppressing feelings could make you become distant from your past. That fits what I’ve been experiencing so that was interesting. Breakfast was eggs, corned beef hash, and toast again. I got to stream on time today and finished up another sketch sheet. As usual I started today’s commission fearful that I would do a bad job but also as usual it turned out okay. I even only went for 90 minutes because of how quickly I went and intended to use the missing 30 minutes for personal work later. I did my workout which was a 3 mile walk on the treadmill. In the past I went for 45 minutes but I thought it would be better to aim for a distance goal. I should also be able to do 3 miles in 45 minutes if I’m going relatively fast so it forces me to push myself a little. I got it done in maybe 50 minutes so I was close. I really pushed through it today because my legs were sore before I even started and I didn’t feel like I was gonna make it. For lunch I made spaghetti and had a couple oreos. I hung out in David’s server again while I did 570rm’s request and tried tidying up my Patreon and planning how to tie in my VR work. I also worked on this gloryhole pic and get a bit stuck figuring out the colors and cum dynamics. I played Zelda for a little bit and beat the Hebra labyrinth before watching another MLP gen 5 episode with Daisy. The show has improved drastically in terms of character dynamics and animation. I’m started to REALLY enjoy it now. Even the youtube shorts have gotten better. It’s making it exciting to draw MLP art again. And given how well my Izzy pic did, it would be good for business. Daisy and I hopped into VR tonight after ponies. As much as I enjoy finding other people to hang around with when we world hop, I was happy that tonight it ended up just being us. I cherish the one on one time and wish there was more of it. But not too much, I understand the need to invite others in. Dinner was chicken, fries, and carrots while I played some Shipbreaker and chatted with Daisy. When she fell asleep I started working on the next letter a little bit and re-read most of the ACT chapter on Defusion. I should have read it earlier in the day so I could practice it but I will attempt to do it tomorrow along with the self chapter. 

Overall I felt good today. I grew tired of my negative thoughts and unintentionally defused from them. Today I felt hopeful and had a better sense of direction like I know what actions to take. Some of the things I dream of also seemed tangible, like feeling included and wanted, or becoming more independent by getting my driver’s license. To work on that I’m making a new rule I know will be hard to enforce: anything I want, I have to get it myself. I intend to have one of my parents take me to the store when I need something, and to pick up my groceries with them once a month. It will be hard but it must be done. The reason I’ve been slacking with getting out is because of how easy it is to blow something off as being too easy or more convenient if I let my parents get it. I can’t make any more excuses. This rule of mine has to be set in stone. 

I talked briefly to mom about this household’s future. She said someone wants to buy the house for market price and that they could be moving out of here within 2 years. If they did, they would be going to live next to my uncles in North Carolina on 3 acres of land he has free. They want to put a modular home on it and something like a trailer for me if I want. Given how the housing market is and how unlikely it will be that I can stand fully on my own, I will likely go with them in this scenario. Not that it’s a bad thing really. I would be closer to most people I know or have known which means I’ll be closer to people I have yet to meet too. I did think of a hilariously terrible scenario where I end up moving to the east coast and Daisy moves out went somewhere for school when the time comes. That would be some rancid luck right there. 

[followthebluebell]

asking out of genuine curiosity: what’s the problem with “adopt don’t shop”? (implied but not explained in a post you reblogged)

When it's applied to mill breeders and pet shops, I'm in complete agreement with it. If I remember right, that's what it was originally MEANT to apply to. Then it became co-opted by Animal Rights Activists, who are generally against pet ownership completely. It became a blanket statement against breeders of any sort, vilifying responsible and ethical breeders and those who purchase from them.

So, four years ago, I started looking for a prospective service dog. It was natural for me to start my search within rescues, because most of them were known to me already. I look like a pretty good applicant: I work in rescues, I specialize in handling animals with difficult temperaments, I have vet records stretching back to when I came of age (basically, I've been fully responsible for my cats' vet care since I was 18), and all of my animals have either died of old age or random chance (I've never rehomed any of my personal animals for any reason, including health issues).

But it turned out to be borderline impossible.

The fact that I was looking for a service dog prospect was an immediate disqualification for most of them. This is because a lot of dogs (especially rescue dogs) wash out of training and can't go on to become fully trained service dogs. Since most disabled people can only afford one or two dogs, most of these dogs are returned to the shelter/rescue. That knocked out about 60% of the rescues I was looking at.

Another rescue asked for an 'application fee', which smacks of a scam to me. It was around 40 dollars, but still. That's a shitty fucking thing to do. :/

Another priced their dogs around 800 dollars, which is on the low end range for popular purebred dogs from pet-quality breeders. There was no way I was going to pay 800 dollars for a dog with an unknown genetic background and no health testing if I could pay the same thing and get a dog WITH all that.

Another asked me to take pictures of my fenced in yard, including the gate and ALL the fencing. My land is 22 acres. While it IS fully fenced, many of the fences are inaccessible to me because they're on cliffs. There was no way I could physically get all the pictures.

Most require that you own a house. I rent.

Another rescue had a sneaky little addendum in their policy, stating that they can visit my home at ANY TIME without permission or knowledge and take the dog back within two weeks of adopting it. This place also had a very high adoption fee (around 500 dollars). I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of, "You're not ADOPTING this dog. This is a temporary foster for two weeks, and the adoption fee is non-refundable if we take the dog back within those two weeks, which we may do so at any time for any reason without your knowledge or permission."

I was feeling pretty good about the next rescue, until it came out that my pet reptiles are all intact. Like... they're non-breeding. But the fact that they weren't spayed or neutered was enough, apparently, and I was denied. "Come back when they've been fixed," I was told. The fact that they're reptiles, housed separately, and literally have never made contact with each other was deemed irrelevant, as was the fact that attempting to alter a 50 gram gecko would likely kill her. It was the LOOK of things that was important, rather than the actual animal welfare.

The local poodle rescue had a waiting list of approximately 5 years.

There was no way I was going to wait that long. So I started looking at shelters. There are three in my travel radius (did I mention that, as a disabled person, my travel radius is quite small? Because it is). One was immediately knocked out because it has a long history of transphobia against me in particular. One was knocked out because it was going through a panleuk issue at the moment, so I wasn't going to risk bringing it home or to work. The third was almost completely bully breed mixes, chihuahuas, or huskies (which are all fine breeds, but not compatible with my lifestyle).

Another issue with 'adopt don't shop' is that it implies ALL rescues/shelters are equal. They aren't. I've also encountered some extremely unethical rescues who outright lie to adopters about an animals' temperament or health. I've seen rescues who actively purchase puppies from mill auctions, because demand for 'rescue purebreeds' is so high. This is especially common with cavalier spaniels and other in-demand small breeds.

I recently cut ties with a cat rescue who actively refused to report a bad breeder for animal abuse/neglect----this breeder was mass-producing cats and not socializing them or treating them for heavy health issues. Every few months, they'd turn over whatever they couldn't sell to the rescue and these cats were inevitably poorly socialized messes who couldn't even be touched (and these were cats who required a high amount of grooming). The rescue didn't want to turn the breeder in because these cats were in high demand; they were 100% sure guaranteed adoptions. People didn't care that they weren't healthy animals; they just wanted something pretty with a sob story.

Not every breeder is responsible. Not every rescue is responsible either. The saying SHOULD be 'adopt responsibly, shop responsibly'. On a purely pedantic note, you SHOULD be shopping responsibly regardless, because adopting is also shopping. You shouldn't adopt the first cute animal with a sad backstory. You need to look into everything and make sure they're the right fit for you and your life.

I fully support rescues. But I also support breeding. My goal as a rescue worker is to create a world where every animal is born with a home already waiting for them and the shelters are empty. For that, we need breeders to keep producing healthy animals.

Basically, don't vilify people who buy from responsible, ethical breeders. We have our reasons for doing so.

[shiberpostshere]

The Kiss Thief - Park Seonghwa Social Media AU

38. Chapter Thirty Two: No, It’s Ryan Reynolds!✨

Previous Part✨            Next Part ✨

Masterlist of the AU✨ 

Word Count: 6.7K (Buckle up, its time for a ride)

This Chapter Contains: Giggle worthy chaos and tooth decaying fluff. (An Annoyed San too.) 

It’s a regular Sunday. A quiet regular Sunday. An unusually quiet, regular Sunday that you don’t experience often as a college student.

An unusually quiet regular Sunday except for Yeri and Jongho’s loud, harmonious snores that vibrated through the lazy (almost) evening silence of the apartment while you had sneaked out like a thief bound with tinkling shackles out of the front door. 

It was exactly five minutes before 5 O’clock and you knew what noise pollution would commence once the short hand stopped perfectly atop the number five. 

The neighbour above starts angrily vacuuming to release their pent up frustration of the day or maybe to act as a thoughtful warning alarm to wake the other residents who might be napping above the universal napping time limit and the snarky middle aged lady beside, who begins banging pots and rattling spoons to prepare either her dinner or for a secret time travel battle she has to attend every single night to save the history for the sake of the present. 

You have a generous set for neighbours. 

Thankfully, you aren’t currently present in your apartment to experience the brutal murder of your ears. 

Unfortunately, you’re sandwiched in between San and Wooyoung in the shared wide back seats of the bus, stuffed to the absolute brim with sweaty and jumpy people. 

The serenity of the weekend ended when you willingly decided to step onto the Bus No. 7 for the following reasons: 

Number One, You and Wooyoung don’t drive and San owns a motorcycle that cannot carry three people at once, not without getting an overloaded vehicle ticket by pulling a stunt like that,

Number two, you have nothing better to do on a Sunday evening other than watch Yeri and Jongho scream about the WIFI and college website because they couldn’t select the classes they wanted fast enough, 

Number three, you were unable to escape from Wooyoung’s persistence but you had to get out and inhale some fresh air of the outside. 

It is a secret that you had isolated yourself in the sweet ol’ bedroom (in the name of preparing for a workshop), to take a five minutes rest which gradually progressed into knotting up your bones by rolling on the bed 24/7 and temporarily disrupting the serotonin production while watching sad movies, and

Number four, San cashed out a favour from that one time he fetched a folder from your dorm and drove fifteen minutes to deliver it because your degree was on the line. Which is why, this particular evening you need to help him out with whatever he wants to do at this Garden plus Research Centre for Thesis purposes. 

“The Thesis and Freebies Date”, term coined by Jung Wooyoung, free entertainment, food finder and a plus one, on Sunday 17th of May, 5:30 AM on the dot. 

On top of all these reasons sat Seonghwa’s last text message like a cherry on top of a cupcake of complaints. 

He sent you a picture of his americano that was loaded with ten pumps of syrup, “I’m drinking coffee😇”  

What coffeeee????!!?!?!?

Everything has failed you today. The public transportation system, your emotional support boy and your unhealthy obsessive complex believing that anything above two pumps of syrup is not coffee because you cannot handle personal preferences. 

“Why on earth is this bus full like it’s the last bus available to escape a fucking zombie aopcalypse. What is this ‘Bus to Busan’?” Your voice comes out with pure seething under your breath for only your friends to hear but you catch the old lady beside San narrowing her eyes at you with suspicion. 

San, engrossed in scrolling through his twitter and sipping his (proper) americano is least interested about your discomfort. 

“Oh I don’t know! I did suggest taking the subway instead but two idiotic people whined for five minutes straight to get on this bus.” His response is monotonous, attempting to contain himself from bursting. 

The pinching statement is directed towards you and Wooyoung who grumbled about the group having to walk after getting off the subway when the bus seemed like a better option that stopped right on the street opposite of your destination. 

Wooyoung’s frame shifts slightly onto your small seat as the hefty man beside him wiggles for space. “Yeah, Jesus Christ, if only I had had an epiphany about how crowded the bus was going to be before we board it.” 

If only you had epiphanies. 

The bus was mildly crowded when all of you had entered but became packed within the next ten minutes of collecting passengers at merely three stations. 

Poor Wooyoung is scared for his life knowing he will be ironed flat by the man if the bus jumps over a speed breaker or God forbid, decides to halt abruptly. The fear is relatable because the boy standing in front will collapse right onto your already shaky lap under any abrupt movements made by the bus. 

After five minutes of distracting himself, San shoves his phone in the pocket of his jeans and leans into your space to jab a finger at two of you simultaneously. “Yeah, Jesus Christ, if only my lazy ass friends knew how to walk but they left their legs in the semester break.” He accuses.

He is absolutely right. 

Every student, excluding the few exceptionally productive ones, collectively lost the ability to walk unless the end goal was acquiring food, money, grades and work experience. 

Wooyoung throws his hands up out of exasperation, “And you’re hundred percent sure that the subway isn’t packed?” 

You nod vigorously, supporting his argument because it doesn’t lead to admitting that you’re wrong and not once you’ll acknowledge the possibility of the missed subway having much more space than this body heat microwave of a bus that you two insisted on boarding until San gave in and agreed. 

“Yeah. Also, we’re accompanying you for your work, San.” You chide in to transfer the blame like a ten year old child and nudge the grouchy boy away from the seat with your right arm. 

San’s left brow twitches. He is definetly holding back a snarky retort. 

“Yes, yes, it’s all my fault.” He drawls on his reponse and turns his head away to ignore your presence entirely.

Apparently, it was not an unusually quiet, regular Sunday for the residents of Unit 8181 also known as the occupants of the apartment of Seonghwa and Friends who have been on the edge due to a mysterious late night incident that was not revealed to you no matter how many times you pried. 

Mingi and Yeosang were sprawled together on the couch, hidden beneath a bunch of weighty duvets which did not look like it had two people sleeping underneath it until they started untangling themselves from each other. 

Wooyoung was showering, apparently for almost an hour to scrub away his drowsiness as stated by San who has been extremely cranky and constantly keeping himself occupied with his phone and swishing and fixing his posh, sky blue cardigan (until you entered the kitchen and he dragged you out with him, suddenly all smiles). 

Yunho was the only one who appeared somewhat himself, still in his pajamas, folding questionably large amount of laundry. He mentioned ‘monopoly game night’ but you didn’t buy that excuse.

They were engaged in constant back and forth, ‘Who Can Shut the Other Guys Up In The Most Creative Way’ contest. 

Yeosang won after a house slipper flew out of his room, wheezed past your legs and landed right near the shoe rack as you stood there frozen. The aim was commendable but the action was concerning. 

Other than sarcastic remarks, all of them shared swollen eyebags due to the lack of sleep. 

A sleepy Mingi glared at you with his droopy eyes for thirty seconds, mumbled out, “Oh, it’s just you.”, trudged towards his room and slammed the door behind him. 

The apartment floor was spotless, not one obvious clutter in sight. 

Seonghwa will surely name everything he owns to them in his will once he returns in the coming week and sees the glistening state of the apartment. 

It reminds you that you, too, need to take care of that one chair that holds the tower of toppling dirty clothes in your room before he sees them and gives you an earful of nagging. 

A bead of cold sweat travels down the crevice of your neck. 

“How much longer until we arrive?” You committ the mistake of directing the question to the volcanic mountain prepared to erupt any minute now. 

The bus jostles with a screech, collectively swinging everyone forward with a painful jerk.  Shared sighs and groans echo throughout the bus. 

Staying put in your seat in this bus is more challenging than a one minute plank.

“I don’t know, he probably knows.” Wooyoung responds with a shrug, holding onto his dear life. 

“Maybe you should walk through this sea of people and ask the bus driver himself.” San suggests with an imposed smile, causing your own lips to stretch into a false one. 

“What a fantastic suggestion! I would love to use you as a human shield to push through this crowd and get to the front.” You answer, crossing your arms below your chest.

He offers you his entire irked attention.

Wooyoung’s forehead dives into the palm of his hand. He’d rather hide than let the passengers of the bus know that he is associated with the two of you. 

The agitated boy rolls his eyes, lips pressing into a thin line before he launches his lecture. “Okay, you know what (y/n)---” 

“Oh for goodness sake! Young man and young woman! Resume your couple’s banter at your place, don’t fight in public places.” The old lady whose patience was being tested this entire journey voices out her protest. 

You’re stunned for a good moment before your heads snap towards the lady, wearing similar offended expressions. 

Meanwhile, Wooyoung is holding onto his bubbling laughter. His palms having slid down from his forehead to his lips to prevent himself from laughing out loud like a maniac. 

“We are not a couple!” You both answer in a hurried chorus. 

After the frantic clarification, your eyes meet and the absurdity of the old lady’s comment wipes every single trace of the previous exchange.

Both of you break together into timed, soft giggles and the chain reaction pulls in Wooyoung who laughs into his hands to control the volume. 

The lady shakes her head at your reaction. “Well, then, not a couple, don’t fight and let me ride to my book club meeting in peace.” She states her demand, expression indicating that she is cooking incorrect judgements about your group in her mind. 

San and you offer her a quick sincere apology, suppressing the amusement derived from her assumption.  

“You two in a romantic relationship? More like a disastorous pair of wannabe edgy emo and a pissed caffeinated fantasizer. Nah, totally incompatible.” Wooyoung mutters under his breath. 

“He’d get rid of me in ten minutes.” You whisper your reasoning.  

San feels the old lady’s eyes boring holes into the back of his head, his arm nudges yours gently, “Make that five. Okay now, zip up.” His eyes and voice both firmly plead. 

“Yes sir.” You reply and shrink in your seat further to make room for Wooyoung to breathe. 

They’re quite a handful duo, alright, but they’re your handful duo and they handle you as well.

After ten minutes of bumping, shoving and tossing around the entire bus like popcorns, the three of you miraculously step out in one piece. 

You take a good five minutes to regain your normal pace of breathing again.

The relaxing wind carrying the gentle floral aroma from the garden calms your suffocated senses. 

Ah, finally, freedom from people.

The bus was overdosed with CO2. 

Your lips were zipped for most of the ride in order to avoid receiving another sneer from the old lady and making sure you don’t run out of the very last oxygen molecule present in the bus.

Wooyoung is stretching every limb of his body after being pressed in between the sandwich grill consisting of you and the giant man.

“You know what?” He pulls out a little black hair tie to control the little locks ruffling against his eyes. “Ditch me the next time I whine about not walking because that was literal hell. I am never stepping into another bus, ever again.” The determination present in his voice is almost convincing. Almost.

“You’re going to start whining when it’s time to return.” Adds San, after double checking every pocket present on his clothing.

An overwhelmingly tiring yawn falls through your lips. 

“Yeah, dude, no false promises.” You inch closer towards San to show your support.

Wooyoung’s exhausted face transforms into an unamused one, “You’re shameless.” 

Harsh but true.

“No, no, no, you last minute side switchers, get away from me. I am not claiming you.” Ignoring your presence, he simply walks towards the main entrance of the garden. 

A sickeningly sweet smile appears on your lips. “Hey, wait, I promise, I won’t take Wooyoung’s side ever again!” You say in a singsong manner, taking wide steps to catch up by San’s side. 

“Where do you think you are going?” The betrayed one gets a hold of your backpack and pulls you back with a forceful tug. 

Your shoes brush harshly against the concrete pavement. He accomplishes the task of slowing you down and makes a run for San, wheezing loudly. 

“Jung Wooyoung!” You cry out loud at his actions, your backpack flailing out of your arms. 

He treads beside his unbothered friend, front facing you from a distance. “We need to meet the professor at the research centre anyway, keep yourself busy until then!” A wink and a cackle, then he grabs San by his shoulders and disappears inside at an astonishing speed. 

Like a little kid whose ice cream has been snatched away, you stand there watching San’s waving hand and Wooyoung’s bouncy ponytail fading away.

A strong inhale and a gentle exhale, you try to calm the rapid heaving of your chest. 

“Ah, whatever! They’ll text me once they’re done.” Uttering the assuring words to yourself, you fix the carelessly hanging backpack and set course to occupy yourself in the garden until they’re done with whatever they have to do at the research centre. 

This is not the first time they have pulled this prank of abandoning you just for laughs and then frantically calling with the classic bait of “yo, come over at this food truck, we’re paying😏” 

They throw the same bait under any circumstances and it works pure magic on any living being who lives for eating. Even Seonghwa caves in, and your willpower is -2 compared to Seonghwa’s 10+ patience. 

Once you step inside the garden, you’re sure they have ditched you with good intentions as your eyes take in the lavish surroundings.

The green of nature is widespread throughout in the form of sturdy and lean trees, recently mowed grass and snipped shrubs peeking in between, all sprinkled with colourful little flowers like twinkling stars on a clear night sky. A gentle breeze whistles by within small intervals, rustling the leaves with the faintest crackling sound. 

There are feeble chirps of birds, hiding in their nests to sleep for the night. 

It is heaven on earth as the golden glow of the sun settles upon the scene. 

The lulling fragrance of roses carried along with the wind urges you to roll on the blanket of the grass and maybe even take a nap after tiring yourself but you know you’ll be thrown out because there are watchful guards scattered around. 

For once, you’re grateful that they left you behind. 

You’d rather take a walk around the garden while listening to serene songs rather than awkwardly wait behind them as they converse with the said professor they’re here to meet.  

I should explore a little before San gets into his Plant Geek Mode. 

A major path from the main entrance splits in several small, stone tracks, like a maze to explore. 

The region is vast, tranquil and maintained, no wonder a research centre lies somewhere in this arboretum.

You notice the informative display of the map, standing tall, indicating what lies in between and at the end of every track, piquing your explorer fantasy. There is a stack of small, handy maps for visitors to carry as well. 

You grab one, deciding upon the center most lane with your earphones playing the enchanting tune of Like a Flowing Wind by Day6 in a low volume.

“The North Lane leads towards the green house and the research centre.” You murmur, studying the contents of the map with much concentration. “Wooyoung and San probably went that way.” You throw a quick glance behind before resuming your stroll. 

The trail you’re currently walking on is the West Way, sheltered with tall towering trees and the Grand Elixir Fountain that lies at the end.  

You neatly fold the brochure and tuck it safely inside your pocket, saving the next spots to visit together once you regroup. 

Surprisingly, the garden doesn’t have an overflowing crowd. 

There are quite a lot of people occupying the benches and seating areas, mostly couples. You notice quite a few students, assuming they are, with their laptops and notebooks, surveying or either sitting in a formation to share their findings. 

Everyone is invested in themselves, in their own little world due to which the place feels quite private, snug and pleasant. 

The greenery, the sounds of nature, the music and soft whispers creating one whole atmosphere of contentment. 

It has been named Golden Blooms for a reason indeed. Except the Research Centre part, we’re going to ignore that for now. 

Seonghwa would absolutely love this place. There is nothing not to love about this. You can sketch a million ways of spending time here together. 

You don’t want to be a girlfriend like that but you’re to be a girlfriend like that.

A picnic after a long hectic week of continuous classes to unwind while spending quality time together, under a birch tree that casts a wide shadow beneath to watch the sunset while sharing the most mundane and silliest stories of your week and snacking on the collective bag you two usually pack before heading out for your Saturday Sunset Dates.

Maybe you’ll have to give up the spot due to its popular demand but it’ll be alright nonetheless. Instead, you’ll resort to taking every lane to check what lies at the end as Seonghwa’s personal playlist will be the perfect background music. 

The day will end with a hearty dinner and crashing in either’s bedroom, cuddling together where he always insists on being the little spoon and you always give in. 

 Oh god, I went too far. 

If just the thought has you feeling immensely giddy, how exhilarating would it feel to actually spend a day like that? 

Back to present, (Y/N), back to present. 

The uneven stone trail comes to an end as your shoes sink into the bed of the grass. Your next steps feel extremely light. 

Walking on this grass is the closet one can experience how walking on a cloud feels like. You constrain yourself from removing your socks and shoes and running around on the grass like a madman--

Holy Shit. 

The Grand Elixir Fountain is a masterpiece. 

Rather than blindingly white, it is a comforting shade of evanesce beige. The sculptures surrounding the circumference are alluring rather than intimidating of mythical water creatures from numerous mythologies.

A water nymph settles at the heart of the fountain on a wave with water sprouting from the pot she’s embracing. 

The gurgling water simmers down onto another platform shaped like a lotus, little droplets splashing on the people standing close by the edge and then gliding down from the platform into the bottom expanse to become a slow, rippling stream. 

The Fountain is a high lord, you are a mere peasant. The Fountain is the moon and you’re a small star. The Fountain is queen bee and you’re a worker bee. The Fountain is a high quality gaming PC and you’re a laptop you had to buy with an acceptable graphic card because you’re a college student who is surviving.

Maybe you’re not the best with creative descriptions but it’s okay you’re a law student any way. 

Creative writing is Yeosang’s forte and he worries about it plenty. 

“Seonghwa can’t be here but I can send him some pictures.” Pulling out your phone, you scan the area. 

An old couple are seated on a bench to the far right admiring the view, bunches of people pass by once a while either to leave or enter the area and a small group of friends are circled in a corner preoccupied within themselves.

“Okay, nothing to see here, just a college girl fangirling over a beautiful fountain.” You say it with the intent of addressing the people present but it is mostly directed towards yourself to not get embarrassed before you engage in a long photo session full of fascination over a fountain at an arboretum.

Okay, alright, let’s get this over with.  

The cause of your dubiousness is Jongho. 

He has pointed out several times that while taking photos you tend to get absorbed and switch into questionable positions just to score a worthy shot. 

You somehow manage to capture moderate looking full shots without getting any uncanny looks from the visitors around with only one close up shot left. 

The star of the fountain, the water nymph. 

It’s alright. Hopefully nobody finds you getting on one knee to capture a decent picture of the fountain uncanny. 

You’re just a harmless college girl who wants to text her boyfriend, excite him about your possible future dates and hunt for food while waiting for the two little devils to return and get working before it’s too late. 

Gentle sprinkles splash onto your face as you move a little closer with careful steps to find the best spot. The water is enticing on this boiling day.

You hold your phone up, adjusting the angle to your liking. “Okay that’s good.” 

Before you can press the capture button, a pair of hands lock around your waist, someone’s weight settling on your shoulder. 

“No, shift it a little more to the right.” A voice, obscured by the earphones, speaks extremely close to your ear, sending a quivering sensation down your spine. 

The first instinct is to freeze, your entire body numbs at the sudden action, heart beating at an alarming speed. 

It is followed by a startling scream of having a stranger’s arms wrapped around your body. The scream pierces through the placidity of the garden, birds from the trees flying away to safety out of fright.

Finally, the adrenaline rush kicks in, your physical senses registering the situation and your reflexes activate. 

The phone still connected with the earphones flies out of your hands and ears, elbows diving back to land double smacks on the intruder’s stomach to get him off your back.  

The old couple look into your direction with a panicked expression and the entire group nearby jilts up and dashes towards you to investigate the source of the scream. 

You turn around to inspect the trespasser who has landed flat on his butt, clutching onto his stomach as continuous groans and curses fall through his lips. 

“(Y/N)! What the hell!” The obscurity long gone, you recognize the familiar voice and its owner. 

Losing the energy in your legs, you fall down into a squatting position. “Seonghwa?” In a panicked state and a hesitant voice, you call his name. 

“No, it’s Ryan Reynolds.” Mockingly, he whimpers, trying to regain his knocked out senses. 

It is indeed your boyfriend who is currently supposed to be in Japan but is in pain because you landed two good elbow punches right on his stomach after his 4 hours of excitement at the airport and two hours of flight and it is definitely, hundred percent confirmed especially, after his eyes meet yours, full of pain and shooting imaginary daggers at you. 

Seonghwa expected a surprised embrace on his return. Anything but two blows right on his abdomen. 

“Park Seonghwa!” You exclaim. 

“Nope, no, I am not Park Seonghwa anymore.” He states in a faltering tone. 

“Miss, are you alright?” A boy from the far away friend circle interjects, stopping in front of you. “Is he bothering you?” His fingers wrap around your arms to pull you up. 

His other two friends help Seonghwa but with a much constrained grab on his arms.  

You look at your boyfriend being held by the two strangers and then at the boy, eyes performing a few puzzled double takes.

“Miss?” The boy reiterates his query. 

You’re dumfounded, your thoughts hazy. 

Collecting the remaining strength in your body, your hands fly in gestures of denial. “No, no, that’s my boyfriend.” 

The boys appear skeptical. They exchange disbelieving glances. 

“Are you sure? If he’s really bothering you, we can call the police right now.” One of the boys holding your boyfriend suggests with the intentions of your safety. 

The frenzied senses simmer down second by second, your hand reaches out to free him from the strangers’ hold. “No, no. Thank you so much for your help but there has been an misunderstanding, that’s all.” 

The boys release him and you replace their hold by linking his arm. 

“He is really my boyfriend. I was just surprised.” You state with complete assurance. 

“It’s also my fault for creeping up behind her. Thank you for watching out. We’re sorry for the disturbance.” Seonghwa takes the cue and bows down a little to offer a sincere apology. 

His other hand rests atop your bound one. Your gaze stays taut on him, following his actions to apologize as well. 

The boys notice your relaxed figure beside him. “Ah alright, so it was a misunderstanding.” 

You nod frantically. “Yes, yes, it was. We’re sorry.” You say politely. 

Calculating the situation, the boys exchange final greetings before trusting your relationship and leave you two with a, ‘Be careful with your surprises!’ 

The surroundings stop still until Seonghwa unlinks your arms to intertwine your fingers instead and bends down to pick up your phone. 

“Should we sit somewhere and talk?” He suggests in a composed tone. 

“Oh, right, yes.” You answer, mentally occupied collecting the dispersed bits of your comprehension grip.

You two settle on the broad bench, previously occupied by the old couple who left after the ruckus, facing each other.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” You search for his eyes that meet yours in a span of millisecond after the raised enquiry.

Your fingers contract and expand with hesitancy near his abdomen where you, or more accurately, your reflexes stroke him a blow. Eyes fluctuate up and down, from his face to the injured area, teeth abusing the lower lip with worry. 

His hands catch and close around your awkward ones, “It hurts but I am fine. It might be bruised but it’ll be gone with time.”  

You look at him, face full of regret, “Seonghwa, I am so sorry.” 

“It’s alright, (Y/N).” He says with the most assuring look that there is in this world, “I mean it.” 

You were worried that he might be mad about the commotion but him unlinking your arms in order to hold your hand was an indication enough that he wasn’t. 

His anger is often intelligible. He needs the time to stay mad, cool down and talks only when he is ready. The time creates an emotional distance and that distance is unbearable until his heart is ready to resolve. 

He doesn’t hold petty grudges. He certainly forgives but he doesn’t forget. Instead, he draws the line in the relationship to grow apart naturally. 

You happened to experience it once when he was conversing with a senior who had given him a hard time and oh boy, the line he drew was fiery and bone chilling cold at the same time. 

“So, that was definitely not what I expected after I decided to surprise you.” He confesses, his eyes mellow, “I should’ve listened to Hongjoong when he said that the idea is too sappy.”  

While he speaks, you’re occupied with staring at him like a hawk with bulbous eyes. 

“What happened?” He prompts you to speak, a fond smile on his lips. “Cat got your tongue?” His fingers fix the disheveled hair resting on your forehead. 

His eyes hold such raw warmth while he merely tucks little strands behind your ears that you fail to realize you have tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“Hey, why are you crying?” His expression shifts into a concerned one. “What happened?” He probes further. 

Before you register your actions, your hand is flying to land a soft blow on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you were returning today!” 

Maybe the volcanic eruption that was swirling inside San somehow descended into you. The difference is, his was motivated by rage and yours might be motivated by mortification.

He retrieves his hand to hold the area you’re attacking, gaping as he rubs the sore spot. 

“Why are you hitting me!” His expression is muddled. 

Seonghwa expected a surprised embrace on his return. Anything but you hitting him after he attempts to calm you down as his plan of surprise fails worse than the time he had failed history in sixth grade. 

Your hand reaches out to land another gentle smack. “What are you! A freaking saint! Why didn’t you tell me!” 

Even you are not aware why the outlet chosen by your feelings is hitting your loving and caring boyfriend who planned such a great surprise that you managed to ruin by knocking him straight into the abdomen with your pointy elbows. 

“Wait, what--” Your words only further deepen his confusion.  

The next smack or rather love tap, as per your definition, doesn’t get through as his hands are quick to catch yours by the wrists. 

“Why are you hitting me babe?” He tilts his head to the side. “You’re hitting me because I am nice?” He lifts his right brow. “What, a saint?” A playful smile lingers on his lips. 

The audacity of this man to act coy with you when you are full of all sorts of emotions whirling within you like a raging tornado. The audacity of this perfectly, perfect man! 

With your slightly puffy eyes and tears stained cheek, you profess. “I am embarrassed okay! I am really embarrassed, I screamed so----” 

A tch sound comes from him, followed by a, “Idiot.” 

He pulls you into him through the hold he has on your wrists, your chest colliding with his. His arms wrap around your waist in a secure manner, head resting sideways onto the comfort of your shoulder that he dearly missed. 

You melt like an ice cream on a hot day under his touch, taking no time to find content in his embrace, face nestling into his warm neck. 

“Don’t be embarrassed.” He removes one hand from your waist to offer comforting caresses on the back of your head. “I don’t know what I expected your reaction to be. Honestly, this particular one didn’t even cross my mind.” 

You lift your head from his neck but he quickly returns it down again. 

“I didn’t expect you to appear in front of me a week before your actual arrival either.” You speak in a muffled voice.

He pauses his stroking for a second, “I knew you were clueless but I didn’t know you were this clueless.” 

“Excuse me!” You shuffle in his hold but he has you latched onto him.

He nestles further into your hold, almost pulling you onto his lap out of habit. 

“Seonghwa!” Palms pressing against his chest, you try to scuffle away and receive a disgruntled noise from him. 

Having performed his action only halfway through, your right leg sits on top of his left thigh and you leave it there to dangle idly. 

“Dude, we’re in a public place.” You remind him, placing a sneaky little peck on his neck. 

It’s the courage after announcing you’re an idiot to the entire world.

He is astounded by your actions but definitely not as much as you are. 

Seonghwa expected a surprised embrace on his return. Anything but you mentioning that you’re in public and then proceeding to plant the softest kiss on his neck, not that he minds the latter. 

“Wise words coming from you in a public place.” His thumbs trace circles on your collar bones, voice adding an extra emphasis to the ‘public’. 

He squeezes you tightly and moves you in his hold like you’re his own personal teddy bear causing laughter to escape from your lips. 

“Giving you a basic hug after you come back after almost a month and a half?” You declare like you have performed some high and mighty act, “No, that is not enough to express my excitement, I had to smash out my love on you, babe.”  

His face dawns an unimpressed look. “Yup, I made a mistake coming home.” 

Your own words cause your face to scrunch up with cringe. “Yeah, that was too much, don’t talk about this in front of anyone, ever again.” 

You missed him. God, you missed him so much. 

His long hair is intact, not a single strand has been snipped. He looks as stunning as you imagined him to be. His navy blue coat may have been washed with a different detergent than the one you are familiar with but the earthy smell of his regular perfume is present. 

The only new additions on him that you can notice right away is the blinding glow on his sleep deprived face and the abstract patterned scarf wrapped neatly around his neck. 

“I missed you.” You wish to say it as softly as possible but you end up blurting out the words. 

He smiles with twinkles in his eyes. “I know, idiot. I missed you too.” 

You rest your palms on his cheeks and press them hard, lips protruding out in a pout. Pulling him in, you offer him a brief peck.

A long one is saved for later when in private. 

The heat on his cheeks is an evidence that he is taken aback by your bold actions. 

“First a kiss on the neck and now a long peck?” He smirks, eyebrows dancing up and down. “You’ve become quite gutsy within a month and a half huh?”

You fawn, “and you’re still carrying your mischievous habits with you! I was praying for you to leave them behind during your vacation. Did you achieve nothing?” 

“Come here you!” His hand clasps behind your neck but this time he connects his lips to the side of your forehead to plant the deepest kiss. 

You shriek as the prolonged peck soon transitions into pillowy lips peppering feathery kisses on every little endearing spot he discovers to shower his love. 

Unable to suppress your delight, subdued giggles bubble out of you.

The delight of having him by your side again is indescribable. The current state of happiness you’re feeling is indescribable. 

You feel his hovering lips expanding into a smile, foreheads faintly clashing together as you two laugh your heart out. 

There are tears forming in your eyes but this time due to happiness rather than humiliation.

Your eyes catch the sun dipping below the horizon, shooting colourful rays as it bids goodbye for the day. “Seonghwa, look, the sunset, it’s so beautiful.” You note while he pulls you into him sideways.

He hums, turning around to admire the view,  “Oh wow, that’s......beautiful.” 

Time slows down just for the sun to submerge into the horizon with its glory. The orange, pink, purples and blues of the sky press mute on the world for the briefest interval. 

He ruffles your hair, pulling you out of a trance, “And that’s our cue to leave.” 

It takes special effort to abandon his comforting hold and get back up on your two feet. 

The disappointment lasts a mere second as his fingers quickly interlace with yours. “Where to next?” He asks.

He takes slow steps. You stick close by, half of your body weight leaning into him but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

You consider your choices for a moment, the grin ever present on your lips, “How about we take a walk and then drive to the river side? I heard there will be star gazing event later at night.” 

He looks at you impressively with a questioning smile. “Oh really, who told you that?” A gentle gleam of fondness floats in his eyes. 

His heart is swelling with love, your presence is comfortable. 

You channel your best know-it-all face, “Oh, you know, Wooyoung, San and I were planning to--” 

The sentence stops midway as you remember, Wooyoung and San! 

Your movements halt, “Wait, Wooyoung and San!” 

He cracks up at your delayed realization. 

“They’ll be fine.” His fingers offer a gentle flick on your forehead, attempting to tap some sense into it, “Unless, you know, you want them to continuously comment during our date about how my arrival disrupted their last night’s sleep.” He reaches out for his pocket to pull out his phone but you’re quick to prevent the said action. 

“No, no, no, no.” Your reaction amuses him further. “That’s not what I meant. I am glad they ditched me, goodness, never been so glad that someone left me behind, swear to god.” The flurry of words scatter everywhere but the intended meaning has been received by him.

“And what else do you have planned for the night?” He asks, walking straight, exaggerating the breadth of his shoulders. 

“My fantastic company, Seonghwa, what else do you need?” In a wounded voice, you question. 

He shakes his head. 

“No?” 

“No.” 

“Fine, tonight’s dinner is on me, no budget. What do you want to eat?” You present your best offer in the most sugar coated tone.

His jaw drops in a dramatic fashion you’ve never witnessed in your life, “That’s it? Woman, I flew in today to surprise you today and that’s it?” 

You stand on your tiptoes to whisper a special spell in his ear. “Who said that would be it?” 

The rasp in your voice has goosebumps rising on his skin. 

“What do you mean?” He stares down, eyes wide. 

“Hey, by the way, how did you know I was near the fountain?” You quickly change the subject, your thoughts running wild and heart ready to pounce out to run a hundred mile marathon. 

“What do you mean?” He repeats, eager to receive an answer. 

His innocent smile has been replaced by a devilish smirk.

His constant questioning and hopeful gape has you regretting your previous words, causing warmth to spread on your face. 

Flustered, you recite your question for the second time, “Tell me, how did you know?” 

“It was a guess. I haven’t forgotten about your pigeon feeding adventures near the mall fountain” His answer is concise, to the point and hurried. “Now, tell me, what do you mean?” 

He finishes the topic within a few seconds, arm nudging persistently against the side of your stomach.

This man. Oh god, this man. 

“You have a great memory! You remember everything!” The fake enthusiasm and flustered laughter that is evident in your answer has him laughing. “Oh, look, we’re here!” You announce, feeling grateful once you spot the main exit getting closer with every step. 

“What did you mean?” He takes quick steps to stand in front of you, his hand leaving yours. 

“Seonghwa! Stop it, don’t get back on your teasing shenanigans so quickly, give it a day.” You say as casually as possible, stepping aside to continue on your way. “I’ve embarrassed myself and you quite enough for today.”

Seonghwa slings his arm around your shoulder from behind, “Yeah, alright, we’ll see about that later.” He mimics your casual tenure. “I guess.” He adds, hinting at your suggestive statement. 

You nod in agreement, appearing calm and cool, “Yeah, I guess, we will.” 

“You little tease.” His free hand gives your left cheek a little squeeze, leaving a light aching.

You stumble a little on your way out of the garden, “If I am a tease that makes you the devil that you truly are.” 

“I agree, I am a beast.” He really, actually, dares to say that with his whole chest, out loud.

“Yeah, sure, little baby.” Your fingers mockingly stroke his chin with a pout

He chuckles, changing his position to properly stand by your side. “Enough of that now, let’s go, I am starving.” 

“Yup, let’s go, tender beast.” You imitate his own words on him. 

“No, seriously, stop that.” He declares sternly. 

You do a motion of zipping your lips, holding your free hand up in surrender. 

Oh, how the tables have been turning constantly today. You can now understand why Seonghwa never gets off your back and it looks like you will not be getting off his tonight. 

Metaphorically and literally. 

Meanwhile, Woosan

San, who has been talking with the professor for almost thirty minutes now: It was pleasure meeting up with you Sir

Wooyoung, releasing a sigh of relief beside his friend because he didn’t understand a single word that was exchanged, internally: Finally 

Suddenly, San: Oh btw sir I had another question 

Wooyoung, ready to create a rampage right there and then, grabbing a chair to smash it on the ground: OH MY FREAKING GOD DAMNIT CHOI SAN YOU---

🌸

A/N: OH MY GOD I CAN FINALLY POST THIS, I CAN FINALLY BREATHE EASY

I started writing this last Saturday and it went through so many drafts and versions, getting cut down to this one. It took me a week mostly due to other commitments. I edited this once and I am sure it still has teeny tiny mistakes but please look past that for now. I will correct it whenever time grants me. 

Also, I would really love to know what you think about this chapter! Please let me know, I would really appreciate that 🥺🥺🥺💕

I know it has been a long time since the last update but I reposted the masterlist with the final update schedule and it will update and end accordingly as per that.

(Also the woosan scene is a little exaggeration, they had a rough night, as you will see in the bonus) 

🌸 Taglist: 

@enigmaticsal @stardusthyuck @missiopk @preets-kpop-world @sanisms @jiyeons-closet @hongjoongsnoona @veeeenus4 @mochibabycakes @vhschs @jaeminbluee @vantclavs @f-iyan @staywritten @yellow-wxve @uppiespuppy  @uppiespuppy @mingiflower @multiangell @quicklystickystarlight​ @kunhye​ @nekee-lilac02​ @peachyprincessminki​ @hidden-wildflowers​ @raysanshine​ @skzpleasestay​ @tearvantae​

🌸 Unable to tag: @mingiibabiee @dreamie-deonghwa @9songbird19 @retrofuture-ism @aratrikade

🌸

Please do not repost, modify or claim this work as yours. 

[purplesurveys]

1327

Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you?  Sure, sometimes. They usually start playing in my head when I find myself alone and not really thinking of anything; but at least I find it easier to brush off now.

Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday?  We don’t have Black Friday but the closest thing we have our double-day sales, which we have every month. I don’t really take part in it as I don’t want to form the habit of putting shit on my cart just because a bunch of things are 90% off.

^If so, what was the best deal you got?  None. People here moving fucking fast, man. Things sell out within seconds, which is another reason I don’t bother participating.

Have you ever seen a spirit?  No. I’m not a believer.

Are you happy that the year is coming to an end?  Not really? The excitement I usually get when welcoming a new year has mostly faded down. My 2021 also went well for the most part so I don’t have that feeling of waiting for it to end.

Have you ever bought a designer purse?  I’ve never bought one, just gifted some.

What color was your senior prom dress?  I had a beige dress for junior prom; then I also got asked to a senior prom, for which I wore a navy blue gown.

Would you ever consider a career in writing?  I did in elementary school; I wanted to be an author. These days I am still into writing so the job I landed in requires a lot of it.

Have you ever purchased a YouTuber's merch? If so, what did you buy?  No. Those are hardly accessible where I’m from, anyway. I remember wanting to get a bunch of GMM merch during my phase last year but I didn’t know how to get a hold of them since they’re based in the US, soooo I ended up not buying any haha.

Are you better at spelling or writing?  Idk, I’d say both are my strong suits and I’m pretty particular towards either. But I guess I’ll go with spelling? just because I’m terrible at writing poems and fiction in general.

If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them?  If the sessions were already paid for and if I can attend with a friend, yes. I’m not passionate enough about it to take it up on my own.

What was the last movie you watched? Would you recommend it to people?  I haven’t watched a movie in a while - can I name a TV show instead? Hahaha I watched Our Beloved Summer a week ago – the pilot was a bit of a drag so that might just turn people off for a bit, but Angela told me the next few episodes get a lot better so I still plan on continuing it.

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes?  I never touch that option and don’t plan on doing so just because of all the social media that exists, Facebook’s the hotbed for murmurings and gossip, especially among your own family members. Otherwise, I’m very open in my other accounts like Twitter and would talk about things like relationships there.

Do you want your own house someday?  That’d be cool but it’s honestly not an ultimate goal of mine. I’d be perfectly happy staying in a condo.

Are you superstitious?  I’m in the very tiny majority of Filipinos who aren’t.

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get?  I don’t get any. I’m not a big beverages person, and I’m wary about the cleanliness of their service water haha so I typically would get water somewhere else.

Have you ever thought about your wedding?  Sometimes.

Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert?  Neither.

Growing up, did you see your cousins often?  I lived with a couple of them for 10 whole years; then the others I would visit only every few months or so, so no, not very often.

Where was your first job at?  The job I have now.

Ever seen your parents make out?  I caught them once, when I was supposed to and thought to be asleep...so I can’t really blame them for that. I hated the image though and still do.

What’s your dream height and weight?  I’d love to be 5′5″ or 5′6″, but I’m fine with my current weight.

What do you do when your house loses power?  Turn on my data and contact our internet provider to ask what’s going on. After that I usually find myself going through my video roll to watch my saved TikToks hahahaha lol.

What piercing do you hate?  Hate is a bit of a strong word, though I can’t say I’m a fan of nipple piercings.

Were you raised in a religious house?  Yes. It did nothing for me, though. I’m pretty sure I was questioning the god they believed in as soon as I was capable of thinking for myself.

Do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours?  Surprisingly, no. They were fine with 11 year old me using the laptop til the ass crack of dawn; they had a bigger issue with me picking up profanity from the internet, which I ultimately got grounded for.

Have you ever been asked for a nude picture?  Yes.

What’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf?  I don’t have a crush in real life.

What’s the worst thing? 

What song can bring you down?  O by Coldplay is triggering to this day; I don’t revisit it unless I purposely plan on ~feeling things.

What would you do if your parent hit you?  [trigger warning: physical abuse] I’d be terrified as shit of my dad moving forward if he ever did...maybe even stop talking to him altogether since I’m pretty good at that anyway. My mom has been physical with me a few times, and as far as I remember I was unresponsive for the most part/I let it be.

Ever see yourself going to jail?  Nah.

Last song you sang?  Butter lol

Has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls?  Probably, at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised, nor bothered.

Ever been tested for any STDs?  No.

Do you think it's weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf?  No. And why does it have to be girls, specifically?

Get a new camera or new phone? PHONE. A fucking phone. My phone’s slow death finally came to a head last night and I cannot press shit on the screen anymore haha. I’ve used my laptop for everything today and this will be the case until I get a new one. I might get a secondhand phone with my next pay just to serve as backup while I save up for my legit next phone, because I can’t do my work smoothly without one.

Last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself):  Oh I have no clue. Probably my ex still.

Ever kissed someone half-naked?  Sure.

Is being sweaty nasty?  Yeah I hate it, especially if it’s humid too.

Are your parents embarrassing?  They have the tendency to be Karens, especially my mom. So yes, they can be embarrassing – not always, but still.

Do you prefer dating a virgin? Or a guy who's been around? I don’t give a shit.

Are you blond?  Nope.

Do you like bacon?  Love it.

Do you have an annoying dog?  Cooper can be annoying at times, I guess. He’s extremely hyper and gets excited/antsy from any passerby or passer-animal walking in front of the house.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over?  Was never into comic books. I tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone?  Scroll through Facebook, watch YouTube, or play Rhythm Hive.

What color was your first phone? The case was red, but I don’t remember the color of the phone itself. Light grey, maybe? Older phones didn’t have much variety when it came to colors.

Was your first phone a flip phone?  Nah, it was an even older model; but I also got to have a flip phone.

If you're a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story?  Sure. 

What was your worst experience in high school?  Definitely being a loner.

How much did your senior prom dress cost you?  Not much.

What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? Going to Wrestlemania 50. It’s not as intense as it used to be anymore, but it remains to be a goal I keep at the back of my head.

Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship?  Yeah.

Did you ever take your dog to school?  I brought Kimi once, for my college grad shoot. I haven’t had the opportunity to take Cooper since, well, we got him during the pandemic.

If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her?  This is so specific hahaha, but April or Audrey for sure. I remember loving those names in high school and wanting to name my kid after AJ Lee or Audrey Hepburn.

If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her?  Olivia or Mia. Those have been my top picks for quite some time now. I barely think about boy names because I don’t want a son lol.

Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? I don’t think so, no. I’ve only seen that happen on that one episode of Mr. Bean.

Do you get motion sickness?  Yep, especially in cars.

Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what?  I’d be lying if I said no...I keep forgetting that this is an Actual Thing that happened but I had an extremely brief phase in senior year high school where I sort of? reconnected? with religion? HAUFHUAIHDSKFHSDF this is so fucking gross to remember all over again but omg I remember dealing with shit that was happening back then a little easier because of it. Grossgrossgross. Thankfully I started college not long after and threw whatever that was that possessed me for a few months out of the window.

What is the most boring church you have ever attended?  Idk, all of them.

What is the most lively church you have ever attended?  Idk.

Do you find church fun or boring?  Boring.

What do you hate the most about summer?  Humidity and the unforgiving heat.

Which part of your body is the most muscular?  I’m not muscular at all.

Did you ever take Latin in school?  Nope.

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday?  Easter Sunday, usually. Depends on the liturgical year.

What is your favorite Japanese name?  Michiko.

Have you ever ran a cash register?  Nope.

Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger?  I didn’t collect dolls in general but holy fuck was I obsessed with Bratz, though. I brought a Bratz lunchbox and backpack throughout preschool, had a hundred Bratz tank tops, gave away Bratz-themed goodies at my 7th birthday party...it was really a Thing, lmao.

Do you think your mom is attractive?  She is. She looks incredibly youthful for her age, too.

What was the last thing that disappointed you?  I finally applied for a few leaves this week after 1) not missing a beat all year long and 2) both of my bosses begging me to “please take leaves and fucking rest, Robyn” only for both of them to be turned down; I was told it was because a lot of people at work are also already on leaves this week. I find it a ridiculous explanation buuuut I was too tired at the time to challenge it.

Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I fucking hate it, which is why I never go on rides.

Skeletons or scarecrows?  Skeletons.

Do you own pumpkin earrings?  Nopes.

What computer game did you used to play all the time?  Diner Dash LOL

When was the last time you read a book? I can’t even remember.

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any)  Sure.

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at?  I don’t normally have to do this but my friends and I did something similar recently, I guess? We planned to have Korean food delivered for the online BTS concert last October, only to find out that the restaurant we frequent started taking reservations for the first time for orders on the day of the show, precisely because they were expecting an influx of orders for said concert.

For context and additional appreciation lol, there had also been an online concert back in June – we ordered from them too but they didn’t have the reservation setup yet, so our order took FOREVER to come. Like literally, it came only when the show was already over hahahah so I guess they learned from that experience and introduced reservations so that incidents like this didn’t have to happen anymore moving forward.

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from?  Viber.

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts?  Embroidery, haha. I will forever be grateful to it, though. It served as therapy and comfort to my then-heartbroken self.

Do you watch political shows? Just The Crown, but I haven’t revisited it in a while.

Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What?  No.

Do you like salami?  No.

When was the last time you ate meat?  I had sisig for dinner, so.

What was the last hot drink you drank? I don’t take hot beverages; never learned how to enjoy them.

Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes?  They have met her, but under the assumption that she was a best friend. I never introduced her as a girlfriend.

How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them?  I got to meet and be introduced as a girlfriend to my ex’s parents.

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages?  Yeah - offhand I can think of 6: English, Filipino, Spanish, Korean, French, and German.

Do you find the sound of a cat's purr relaxing?  No, I get tense lol.

Do you know your mum’s first pet's name?  I do know it, I just can’t seem to remember it at the moment.

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what?  I wish I was one of those vloggers that managed to strike gold and get lucky with having their videos and views take off, even though they just portray daily life haha.

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back?  Nope.

What fruit can’t you stand?  Mangoes, if they’re not in sushi.

Do you know anyone autistic?  Yes.

How about someone bipolar?  Yes.

What do you consider private to you?  Traumatic stuff from childhood.

Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have:  Street children.

Name something that you’re good at but don’t like:  Neglecting myself lol...like not realizing I haven’t drunk water or peed until like, 10 PM. Happens a lot these days.

Name something that you’re bad at but DO like:  I tend to not enjoy doing things I already know I’m bad at.

Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you:  My mom.

Name a date that has a lot of significance to you:  April 7.

Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise:  Discovering BTS. Yeah I entered a black hole, yeah I've lost so much money investing in these boys’ merch...but they’ve made me immeasurably fucking happy this year. Absolutely changed my life for the better in 2021, it’s ridiculous.

Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious:  Attending rallies in college.

Name something you wish you had enough money to do:  Afford food delivery everyday because I can’t cook.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 080521

5 September, 2021

Dear Dad--

Another week full of joy at being alive has passed! That may sound sarcastic, and it mostly is, but things are actually improving. I’ve been quite depressed of late, and I appreciate your offers of help. I’m going to be quite alright, I’ve decided. A few things are getting better on their own, and a few things are getting better because I’m working at getting them better. Examples: It helps when it’s not 90 degrees outside--an increasingly frequent occurrence here in Maine--since that makes it 90 degrees inside. A window AC unit can only create a cone of tolerability directly in front of it, while the rest of the trailer feels like a sauna. Once September began, however, it was like a door slamming shut. Now we’re getting cold fronts and lows in the upper 40s in the mornings and highs in the 70s, and it’s the kind of weather that makes you happy just to be alive and outside.

Another thing getting better, if only with agonizing slowness, is my job. The main problem with my job right now is this: There are seven audits. I’ve learned about 6.8 of them, but there’s one part of one audit that I’ve mentioned in the past, it’s just an order of magnitude more complicated. After a few more months it won’t seem that way at all, but for now, it’s still Chinese algebra--I might as well be looking at Sanskrit; it just makes no sense to me most of the time. And the boss is, I think, tired of me not knowing it. The boss can, I think, go fornicate himself, because, the way I look at it, if I’m trying my best to learn, and I haven’t learned it yet, it’s not because I’m failing, it’s because the shit’s complicated, and he’s failed to teach it to me yet. Ha ha, take that, boss man!

Anyway, I’m attempting to let it go. And now that my retirement savings from Progressive is completely gone, I’m also attempting to live within my means again, which is proving a challenge. And it’s not a challenge because of my extravagant lifestyle, it’s a challenge because everyone wants money in exchange for shit, and I’m only getting $14.00 per hour so far. Also, the casino is taking $30 off each paycheck, a total of 10 times, to pay for my $300 state gaming license, which I’m required to have. Also, the casino is taking $47 out of each paycheck, a total of 4 times, because of something they fucked up with my benefits that somehow put me in arrears. I am forced to wonder if Consumer Reports ever made a top 10 list of inexpensive brands of cat foot that, in a pinch, might be fit for human consumption.

So some of my concerns are financial. Some others are related to making new friends. Zach and I have both been attempting to make new friends lately, and to our horror, the number of friends we have here in Maine is actually going down. We made one friend when we moved here, Josh, the one who is addicted to Christmas decorations, and for various reasons, we don’t hang out with him any more. I made a new friend who promptly disappeared on me. Zach made a couple of new friends that have decided not to return his texts. We are forced to wonder what unpleasant odors we might be emitting. My goal was to have a New Year’s Eve party here that I could invite 5 people to, and at this point, I’m not going to reach the number 5 unless 3 of them arrive at gunpoint. So I’m going to attempt to make some new friends. Working in a casino should help; got lots of interesting coworkers. And if we can ever get past this Covid bullshit, I might be able to attend a social gathering every now and again.

I have begun my two month scary movie marathon! I began with Night of the Demon, as I always do, and I’ve been watching a few of my other favorites too, like The Legend of Hell House, and the Haunting, and The House on Haunted Hill, and The Haunting of Hill House, and House of Usher, and House (Japan, 1979).

I think some of the news is going to have to take the form of a bullet list.

I thought “The quality of mercy is not strained,” was from the Bible. Nope, it’s from The Merchant of Venice.

The casino, for all the money they’re taking from me, is going to give me a $50 WalMart gift card, as a reward for emailing H.R. a copy of my vaccination card.

As of today, I have put away that AC unit. We needed it last week to avoid dying of heatstroke, but we’re not going to need it again until probably next June or July.

I’m about to attempt to quit smoking, because I can no longer afford it. Next few days, I should think. I’ll keep you posted. I must buy gum. I need so much sugar-free gum. Perhaps the WalMart gift card will be used for gum. That’s some bullshit; I wanted to use it for something fun, and nourishing to the soul, like...Diet Pepsi. But noooo.

I continue to love the mild weather here, and the frigid winter in particular. At some point, I’m going to experience the ecstasy of having to wake up early in order to dig my car out of the snow, so I can get to work on time. I assume, every once in a while, there’s a snowstorm that’s bad enough, no one is able to get to work for hours and hours. I am looking forward to all of this! I think it draws one closer to one’s neighbors when you live under such shared duress, and the shoveling is good exercise. Also, we only have a few feet of driveway to shovel; it’s going to have to be a pretty apocalyptic snowstorm to push us into heart attack territory. Then, when I make it to work on time, I can be the one person whom everyone else resents, because he proved that it’s possible to make it to work, and now everyone has to show up and do their jobs, when their true desire was to stay home and not do their jobs for a change. Well, tough titty, coworkers. Ricky’s gotta get PAID.

One thing I’m trying to keep my eyes on is the prospect of getting a new car. It may not be new, and it may not be a car--I’m considering a modest SUV--but it would be a new vehicle for me. The reason I’m considering purchasing a modest SUV, which normally I’d find abhorrent because of their poor fuel economy, is because I now live in the land of potholes. In Austin, if a pothole got bad, I knew it wouldn’t be long before a crew came out and fixed it. Here, with all the freezing and thawing, some roads just develop too many of them too quickly, so those roads just spend a lot of time sucking, and being full of potholes. My car, Beige Lightning, had a somewhat creaky suspension before we moved here, and now has a very creaky suspension. I’ve decided, therefore, that I’d like something a bit more impervious to potholes. Also, as a rapidly aging white guy, I claim my right to want something with a bigger, faster engine. Perhaps the money I save from quitting smoking will make this easier to grasp. Will advise!

More next week. All my love to you both!

[theexleynatureblog]

Veganism for Conservation

Wikipedia defines veganism as “ the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of animals. An individual who follows the diet or philosophy is known as a vegan.”

This is different than vegetarianism, which is a non-meat diet. Vegetarians still use animal products like eggs and dairy, while veganism does not. Some people that practice veganism extend the philosophy to their clothing, not wearing leather, and sometimes even wool. 

A lot of us have probably interacted with vegans on the internet in posts such as this:

Personally, my interactions with people who practice veganism have been limited to glimpsing internet brawls like this. Because of this, vegans get a bad name. I’m sure Christians can relate: that one wild-eyed priest going on about how homophobia is a sin. He may speak for all Christians, but he cannot represent them.

My point of this is, going into this post, please approach veganism or vegetarianism with an open mind. This post is not hating on vegans, and it is not trying to convert anyone to veganism. By pointing out the strengths and weaknesses of vegan and non-vegan philosophies, I hope to increase understanding.

Where Veganism Succeeds

When it comes to images like this, vegans and vegetarians are sometimes the first to call out animal cruelty. This is not without substance. This PDF article from the University of Kentucky covers some of the issues very well. The main issue is Confined Animal Feeding Operations (CAFO) or “factory farms”.�� The ultimate goals of the factories are ‘cheap food’. Animals are kept in confined spaces, and given antibiotics and growth hormones to counteract the spread of diseases and parasites (in some cases it doesn’t work). Ironically, some of these drugs are outlaws in the UK, due to the adverse human health effects. Factory farms are a monopolized industry free of heavy regulations of other large-scale operations. Though the FDA and USDA oversee inspections and health regulations, it only helps so much. The Animal Welfare Act of 1966 does not extend to farm animals.

A common response is “Shut down farms!” But it’s not as simple as that.  The next article covers the Pro’s and con’s of farming. Farms are run different in different places of the world, and always full of contradictions. Livestock can improve the health of prairie grasslands, but also overgraze them. Animal manure can improve soil health and pollute rivers. While places like America need less meat, poor families in Cambodia may need more protein in their diet. I whole-heartedly support shutting down CAFO’s, but farming in general. Small-scale family farms are a great example of farming with ecosystem and animal health in mind.

One problem with holding animals indoors - even if you feed them well, make them comfortable, keep them from getting sick - is lack of mental stimulation. No species on Earth processes the world the same way. Cows don’t think they same way humans do, but they are living animals designed to do certain things.  A video I watched last year for my animal behavior class (If I could find the video, I’d add it) followed a group of hens brought from a factory farm to a new free-range home. A series of experiment were set up to observe their behavior. When presented with building materials, the hens proceeded to build a nest - even though a nest was already made for them by the caregivers. Animals have inherent behaviors that they will carry out if giving the opportunity. This may not have any impact on the health/quality of the meat or products, but it can give the animals mental exercise and therefor reduce stress.

Recent years have brought in increased in what is dubbed the “locavores.” Locavores is basically a person who eats locally, or within a 100mile radius. They may buy more produce from farmers markets, or get their meat from hunting and fishing locally. (Minnesota has a bag limit of 5 whitetail deer. A successful hunter could stock up food for their family for an entire year without ever buying meat from a grocery store!). Food handling, processing, and transportation takes up a lot of our yearly energy costs, not to mention food shipped from another country is going to be more expensive, and sometimes, less fresh.

The Locavores Movement wasn’t exactly pushed by vegans, but I’m going to include it here because it’s a win for everyone. After WWII, agriculture was becoming more commercialized. Big, industrial farms with lots of land and machinery was out-competing small family farms. Later on, the 60′s and 70′s sparked a ‘back to the land’ movement (a big time for environmental policies). It encouraged relationships between communities and local farmers. Though many small family farms are still financially struggling, the Locavores movement is increasing, as people are becoming more aware of where their food is coming from and their dietary health.

Where Veganism Fall’s Short

Animal anthropomorphization - defined as ‘ the attribution of human traits, emotions, or intentions to non-human entities’. Giving animals human-like appearances such as walking on two legs, fingers, eyebrows, and having them think and act like humans. This is present in any Disney cartoon regarding animals. Bambi is the most famous, and even created what is known as “Bambi Syndrome”, a belief based on the movie that paints nature as a garden of Eden with no natural predators - which is grossly inaccurate.

Anthropomorphization is not inherently bad, I enjoy watching Disney cartoons and sometimes its fun to imagine animals acting like people. However, there are people who seem to believe than animals really do process the world exactly like people do, and their interactions with the environment and other animals are similar to human - situations. Ex: a bunny rabbit and a deer chase each other around - they must be best friends! People forget that for wild animals, even suburban wild, is a constant struggle for survival. Humans partook in this once to, but now we have grocery stores and houses. We take for granted our ability to get food every day, and go home to a warm night’s rest. Animals don’t have that. Wild animals are focused 24/7 on survival - where to get food, are there any dangers around, ect. Once an animal has gained enough resources to survive day to day, then they can focus on reproduction. After that, in some cases, the focus is on rearing young. And then the cycle is repeated.

 The biggest argument comes down to the idea of death. Vegans argue that the act of killing animals is immortal because animals fear death just as humans do. This is true: the fear of death is present in all species. It is an important driver for evolution. Organisms are constantly coming up with new ways to avoid death caused by changes in the environment.

But death is still a really important thing.

Death is something that has to happen, because that is how nutrient cycling works. One organism collects material from the environment until it stops, and those nutrients are redistributed to other organisms. The longer an organism lives, the longer it holds onto those nutrients instead of redistributing them. 

The argument that ‘all animals want to live’ is obvious and does not address the fact that death is a natural and important part of our world - just as important as life. Why do humans make such a big fuss about it? Because we have the time and the resources to do so.

Giraffes don’t have time to sit around and contemplate life and death - they’re busy living. They’re busy foraging and migrating and kicking lions in the head. We have to remember the human experience of the world is unique to us - we are the only species that exploited resources so efficiently, we had the time and energy to build Society. Every word and concept in our mind is a imaginary construct, or translated from what we’ve seen in nature. This includes death - a natural process we witness and created an abstract essence around that both increases and diminishes our fears of the inevitable. (Sorry to readers experiencing existential crisis’ - hang in there, take your time. This really is mind-bending stuff when you think about it). Death didn’t have a name until humans created one. We created stories of Grim Reapers and Angels and Demons. We see shadows out of the corner of our eyes and call them ghosts.

But, do we have a right to cause the death of other organisms? Well, in nature, what is a ‘right’? Does the gazelle or the leopard have a greater right to live? My arguments may see really heartless and objective, but I am a biology student, so I have to look at this from an ecological perspective. Why do we look at the animal world through a tight lens of human understanding when we now have to tools to see more? How can we assign human concepts to a world that exists beyond our understanding?

One of emotions we have created do to the development of society is ‘guilt’. Its possible this emotion exists in other animals too, such as a mother who couldn’t protect their young. Guilt has evolutionary advantages of strengthening social bonds, and inciting a change of behavior. But humans are unique in that we extend this guilt beyond our immediate families to multiple other species. Pet owners may experience this when they accidentally step on their pet’s paw. 

This philosophy of including other species in our perception of the world is amazing, and very important. Aldo Leopold, a professor of ecology at the University of Wisconsin, wrote in A Sand County Almanac that extending human ethics to the land and its animals was essential for conservation. We need more people involved in biology and environmentalism, but we need them to have a proper understanding of life and death processes of other animals.

Wild animals deal with death much more often than humans do, and not in the same way. An article from Stat News claims half of Americans now die at home in hospice care. I can’t hypothesize numbers, but its same to say that a lot of people, especially in rich countries, get a ‘gentle’ death - in bed, surrounded by family members, eased with pain medications. Animals don’t get that. The quickest, non - human way for animals to die is by being kill by something else. Lions tend to bite the jugular of prey to asphyxiate it. The animal is dead by the time the lions start eating it, but it did not die quickly and peacefully. It’s last moments were being chased by lions, having lions dig their claws and teeth into its body to knock it down. It will take at least a full minute or two to suffocate the animal before it dies. Imagine the last thing you see is a lion biting into your neck - that’s terrifying!

Some deaths are quicker - think of birds picking up ants or insects, quickly crushing them in their beats or swallowing them whole. The thing is, as mammals, we can’t really relate to insects on an emotional level, so that example doesn’t get us far...

Non-predatory causes of death are disease, parasites, starvation, injuries, and old age. Older animals are at risk for all of these combined. A wolf with a broken leg may be fed by the pack for a while, but eventually have to be left behind and starve to death. There are no gentle deaths in the animal kingdom.

Ironically, the fastest and least painful death animal can experience from humans are euthanasia, and a gunshot (as long as the shot is lethal). Euthanasia is common for pets and livestock by first putting them to sleep, and then injecting them with a lethal drug they cannot feel. Its the closest thing to a human dying in a hospital bed. 

Gunshots have the potential to be the least painful and the most painful - depending on the skill of the hunter. A ethical shot to the heart or brain means that the animal will be dead before it even feels the bullet enter its body. That sounds a lot nicer than being chased or ripped apart by wolves, or stumbling around, infected by CWD.

Shortcomings of Non-Vegan Philosophies

Hunters and anglers don’t have all fail-proof ideas either. When it comes to conservation, America tends to prioritize animals useful for human consumption - as in, harvesting or observing. “Game” animals, like deer, elk, grouse, and waterfowl, have most of the public’s attention and protection. “Non” game animals like reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates, are overlooked and at greatest risk for extinction due to lack of funding. 

Americans in general, eat too much meat. A quick Google search pulled up multiple articles that said the same thing. These articles are not pushing vegan/vegetarian philosophies, they are approaching the problem from a healthy diet standard. This article from Popular Science covers the American heritage around meat and animals that dates back to colonial times. In medieval Europe, many of the large game animals like stag and bison were gone due to overhunting, and the remaining wild lands were reversed for nobility sport hunting. Important predators like wolves and bear were also removed due to fears and superstition, so, the ecosystems of Europe were...a mess. When settlers came to America, they discovered a land of bounty, and developed a ‘take whatever you want’ philosophy that led to the extinction of the passenger pigeon, and near extinction of the bison and turkey. We eventually realized our mistake and worked up some protection, but still have a ways to go. 

Is Veganism helping conservation?

Yes and no. It has it strong and weak points. The strongest, like I said, being pointing out the flaws of factory farms. However, the belief that replacing animal products with plant/synthetic materials will help the planet is troublesome.

The picture is one that comes up when Googling ‘soil degradation’. The land is so dry, it is cracked. The vegetation looks dead and dying, and the soil color itself is a light sandy brown - lacking the deeper shades that indicate the presence of organic material, essential for soil organisms and plant growth. Soil degradation is a problem all around the world, appearing in various forms. It’s leading cause is poor management of agricultural fields. A vegan lifestyle means greater dependence on these farms, but there is never any mention of this problem.

Vegan or not, as an American, I believe it is in our best interest to eat less meat - not totally get rid of it, but have more balanced diets. Soil degradation is a problem for everyone. Luckily, soil scientists are at work discovering new ways to put nutrients back into the soil and lock them in, increasing the health of the soil ecosystem. The plants and animals that depend on it (including us) will be healthier, and some of these techniques can even take greenhouse gasses out of the atmosphere. The Soil Conference at Gustavo's Adolphus College brought in some of these speakers. Video are available on YouTube, and posted to my blog.

A trademark of veganism is refusing authentic leather. It is replaced by synthetic and plant based materials called ‘pleather’, ‘faux leather’ and ‘vegan leather’. 

Some sites say these terms are interchangeable, but some say they’re each a little different. Leafy Souls defines ‘pleather’ as leather made from plastic. This is a big problem, because plastic materials, when washed, release micro plastics into waterways. The major problem is these plastics aren’t as easily identifiable are water bottles washed ashore on the beach. Not a lot is yet known about these pollutants, but we have found them everywhere - including inside our bodies.

Luckily, not all vegan leather products are made of plastics. Alternatives have been made from plants, leaves, cork, and even stone!

The big argument against leather and fur products is - it is cruel to kill animals just for there skins. And I actually agree with this. I was never one to buy into the fashion industry, and personally, I think it’s a little outdated, and pointless. 

The process of factory made leather from cowhide is a bit disturbing. The manufacturing of leather is contributing so some major environmental issues like the release of greenhouse gasses and water pollution. Some questionable chemicals are also used to treat the leather. 

The good news is livestock are not being killed solely for their skin. The cattle sent to slaughter are the same cattle that we get most commercial leather from. Of course, this doesn’t really comfort anyone heartbroken over the commercialized treatment of animals.

Leather manufacturing is also being linked to child labor and poor warehouse conditions. It’s a common American business practice to send labor production oversees to places labor is cheaper - cheaper because workers are paid less for longer hours in poor conditions. The leather industry is not alone in doing this. How we change this? Boy-coting certain products is one way, but some of these companies have monopolies on products. A book by a Michigan State University professor discusses the growing monopolization of food products.

How do we solve problems like this? I don’t know, but something this complex needs a just - as complex solution that may take years to undo. 

Fur

Minnesota got its early start as a center for fur-trading between Canadian pioneers and native tribes. Unfortunely, the luxury that was fur turned the market extremely competitive. Since nature is not built for capitalism and competitive markets and commercialism, the fur bearer populations of the state took a dive. (Luckily, all have now recovered).

Fur markets were as bad as market hunting in terms of conservation, but unlike the latter, fur trapping is as persistent as ever today. Thanks to protections and regulations, trapping is able to persist at nearly the same capacity as it was in the 1800′s without threatening a population. (Also, there are significantly less people partaking in trapping).

Personally, I do not care for killing animals solely for the fur or leather. I would prefer to trap animals that also provide food - like rabbits. My believes are that if you kill an animal, you use as much as you can from it - meat, skin, and maybe even some of the bones. Its a way to pay respect by making sure the animal didn’t die for no reason.

Like leather, fur has synthetic replacements. However, I could not find as much environmental information. The main material for faux fur is acrylics, which are basically plastics that do not degrade when released into the environment. It is another source of micro plastics. 

Manufactured fur, like real leather, is treated with chemicals like formaldehyde to keep from degrading. Naturally, after discovering this, I Googled health affects of wearing real fur. Problem 1: I couldn’t find a trustworthy website. The websites that came up were strongly anti-fur. I wanted to find information from a neutral website, like a college university article. Problem 2: I could not find anything. I expected to find articles about odd rashes or allergic reactions, but there was non. Instead, I re-discovered an article I used in a previous post about vaccines. Vaccines actually use doses of formaldehyde in them. It’s a scary substance, because we automatically think about it in the process of embalming bodies, but the truth is, it has many practical uses that are safe to human health. Any substance can be harmful or helpful, it all depends on the dosage and chemical makeup. I was reminded that formaldehyde isn’t as scary as everyone makes it out to be. It is actually naturally produced in our bodies, and it probably doesn’t have any adverse effects to being added on our clothes.

Another problem arises when questioning the affects of formaldehyde in the environment. When we wash our clothes, dirt and chemicals end up in our water systems, including micro plastics and formaldehyde. The usual dosages of the chemical is to small to cause us individuals adverse health affects, but the story can change when dumped in large qualities. Our tendency to dump large amounts of waste into confined areas is not natural - animals tend to discharge (biodegradable) waste evenly across a habitat, or at least in quantities than can be broken down. The way humans discard waste in large quantities means that basically anything - including caffeine from our coffee consumption - can have adverse environmental effects. So, the problem of releasing formaldehyde is not on the chemical itself, but more on our system of waste treatment and pollution in general.

Conclusion

I am overwhelmingly tired of the vegan vs non-vegan argument. The more I see people pointing their fingers at each other, the less I want to partake in either one of their ideologies. Great minds think alike but fools seldom differ.

I believe it all comes down to balance. No matter how we exploit resources, there is going to be a downside. Vegan or non-vegan, there is an up and down to every choice. We have to work together and find a middle ground.

If we completely stopped using animals today, there would be changes. CO2 emissions would drop a little, but they may change sources. The same amount of people would need the same amount of food, and 1/3 of that food would come from a different source. There may be more habitat loss from increases agriculture farms, and come communities may became protein-deficient.

If the opposite were to happen, and we increases animal products, there would also be adverse effects. To feed those animals would also require more agricultural land. Factory emissions could rise, along with health effects of too much red meat, like increased cholesterol. 

The fact of the matter is, we all kill animals, directly and indirectly, simply by taking up space. The things that make you you - the proteins and carbons and lipids and nutrients - came from another organism. The fact that you have them now means something else is denied them. The cars we drive, the fields we plow, the pollutants we throw out, those are all killing animals as I type this. It sucks. I absolutely hate it. It has happened for the past millions of years, but right now, we are doing it at a faster rate than anything before us.

I cannot fully support veganism in regards to animal ethics, due to the tendency of anthropomorphization and biological misinformation. But I due support the legitimate environmental concerns, and I think a lot more people need to understand them as well.

[practicalbuoyancy]

My First Community

How the city I tried running away from for two whole years turned into my hardest goodbye. 

I’ve reached the point in crying where tears are replaced with a bizarre gasping for air. Occasionally, a howl will break through that common decency should render me embarrassed for, but I’m alone with Kevin and my daughter’s sound machine is on. So I continue crying, howling, and gasping for air. 

Likely because we’re in the middle of a pandemic that destroys the ability to breathe, I’m constantly aware of the inhales and exhales that seem more strained than normal. I check to make sure I can get a full breath. They’re hiccuping, staccato things. But ultimately, they add up to a full breath. 

With only one full day ahead of me, my final hours in our little home in Detroit feel suffocating. 

Where do I even begin to explain the depths of my pain? I was never supposed to be here. Kids my age don’t own homes. We don’t buy fixer uppers and put 2x more into it than what the market suggests is reasonable. We don’t sit on our front lawns and form relationships with our middle-aged and elderly neighbors. What is this bizarre alternate universe? At my 5-year college reunion, I felt deeply inadequate and ashamed next to the consultants, journalists, engineers, doctors, and lawyers my friends had become. But they looked at me and called me the adult. HA! 

All because of a house. That, completely renovated, cost $500 less/month than a 2 bedroom apartment we were renting at the time. 

So why did we do it? Partially because my husband and I were idiot children who simultaneously thought getting three dogs was a good idea, but mostly because of the people we met in our first year away from home. 

You see, when I was first brought here by Teach for America, the guy who interviewed me explained the most important thing is community. “Sure, I get it,” I thought to myself. I had gone to churches before. After becoming a Christian in college, I had been attached to several campus ministries, some more than others. I did lots of campus activities and met many people whom I cherish with my whole heart to this day. 

My first year in Michigan, I spent so many nights crying about missing school that at one point Kevin literally carried me into a car and drove me to Chicago that night just so I could have deep dish pizza. Southeast Michigan was never the end goal. It was a stop-gap before we could get back to Chicago, where I would live on Belmont and have two fluffy Samoyeds I walked up and down the street. 

But then I met Jonny. Then Eric. Then Joanne. Then Jonathan and Laura. Then Scott and Edythe. I met Ashley and Ginny and Leon and Rebecca and Mike and Elisha and Kyle and Tasha and Sarah and Sam and Elizabeth and Jon and I know the more people I name the more others will feel left out so just know, dear reader, that I met so many people who have imprinted wonderful things on my heart. And after seeing their fierce passion for the Lord, the world, and each other, my heart was theirs forever. 

Now, I should admit here that it wasn’t as easy or as quickly or as romantic as retrospective writing lends itself to imagine. I was still planning on going back to Chicago. Both Kevin and I were deeply depressed and incapable of forging relationships. After we joined a small group, we essentially whined to them every week about how much we didn’t like it here and just wanted to go back “home.” Our small group loved us anyway, encouraging us, holding us, and always helping us seek what was the best for our hearts and our walks with the Lord. Even though we were little punks about it. 

I still remember the day Kevin proposed we change the plan. We were having one of our long road trip conversations. The empty miles ahead of us tend to allow us to get into deeper conversations without distractions. Before this conversation, we were just trying to make it to the end of my commitment with Teach for America. Two years, then we would return back to Chicago where we belonged. That was our plan. We had never wavered from this plan. 

Kevin, who had had an even harder time than I had moving to Detroit, strangely brought up, “Well, my 401k matching doesn’t kick in until I stay 3 years, and you could get your certificate if you stayed a third year... so... should we do one more?” 

Everything that had planned before we moved screamed, “NO!” But everything that was growing within me in this community said, “We can try.” 

That year, we decided to buy a home. It was a drab thing that was two days away from being foreclosed due to three years of no taxes paid. The homeowners had a better life with better housing in the suburbs. This was no longer a burden they wanted to deal with. 

We signed a land contract and purchased the home for $14,800. 

The next six months, we learned why everyone hates home renovations. We COMPLETELY redid our home. All new windows, new roof, paint, floors, bathroom. We knocked down walls and doubled the size of the kitchen. We threw out the clawfoot to the shock of many. (I honestly still don’t understand the appeal.) We made countless decisions and grew angry with sloppy painters and had five different subcontractors do our siding. We fell in love with the end product, even with all of its quirks, and called it a home. 

We spent four beloved years in that house. 

We had our dogs. We brought home Violet. We hosted countless silly parties, from Christmas to Harry Potter themed. We fought a lot in that house. We cried some. We watched a LOT of television and put together many puzzles. We held friends in that house. Friends held us. 

Because alongside all of these decisions to stay, the first decision we made was to finally yield to the longing of our hearts and belong to our community. I wrote a childish note to the woman who is now my best friend asking if she’d be friends with me. I called my small group leaders Mom and Dad far after it stopped being cute and was just plain uncomfortable. I got to know our neighbors. Dave loves Sister Pie. He can’t leave an interaction without asking us a question to get to know us better, even four years later. Vionca had a child close to the same age as Violet. She is a fiercely loyal mother who both loves her kids dearly and doesn’t take crap from them. When we brought Violet home, they both brought over presents and doted on her. 

My church community here walked with me through the worst of my depression and trauma, bringing me food and CDs and sitting and crying with me when I exclaimed, “I’m done with it all!” They encouraged us constantly. I don’t think I’ve ever truly believed I had that much value before the constant uplifting and encouraging of my friends, who saw me as a child of God and communicated that fervently. 

I found a job I loved and grew an even larger community. No one makes me laugh harder than my work friends. No one understands my anxiety and depression better. No one will let me sing show tunes with them. Oh, no, that was just the end of the sentence. Sometimes even Anna needs to work. I’m not bitter or anything. 

I feel so much pain because I’ve felt so much love. I never knew what it was like to live surrounded by love. My communities were strong in college, but they were fragmented. I had different circles and different people I cherished and continue to cherish. But here, everyone I loved in the world was within ten minutes from me. I’ve never experienced a greater treasure than that of proximity to all that I love. 

I don’t know what the future will look like. The part of me that holds on until the very end is the part of me that lies and says nothing will be different. The part of me that has been through similar heartache and change tells me that it will all be different. The doomsday forecaster in my brain likes to tell me I’ll never have better friends so why bother trying. Also, Silicon Valley people are really high strung. Stresses me out. But... In ‘N’ Out is there... 

I am so thankful for my people. I am so thankful for my community. I am so thankful for the grief I feel. My pain is proportionate to my love. And I have so, so much love for my people here. 

until california,

mi

[ericahitshawaii]

From the land

Today I am leaving the ocean and heading to the land.  The Big Island is even more biodiverse than Maui.  It contains 11 of the 14 climate zones in the world.  They even have snow on their tallest peak, Mauna Kea.  Today I am heading south og Kona to explore a Chocolate Farm, a coffee farm and a bee apiary!

Chocolate Farm

The Original Hawaiian Chocolate factory is the only chocolate producer in an industrialized country that processes the chocolate from the plant all the way to the final product.  Most chocolate producers start with the dried cocoa bean.  The beautiful estate grows cacao (the pod that chocolate is made from), macadamia nuts and coffee.  The entire operation is run by only eight staff, including the owner (Bob) and his wife.  (American Ex-pats)

Above are the tree that the cacao pods grow on.  They are about the size of a large eggplant when fully ripe.  Iniside these pods there is a fibrous membrane (like in a squash) that contains seeds.  These seeds have to be fermented and dried to give them the chocolate flavor.  This produces chocolate nibs which are ground to make cocoa powder, which becomes chocolate.  (More or less, you can google it if you want to fact check me on this one.)

Cacao pods growing in the trees.  This variety will will turn a bright yellow when they are ripe. 

Ripe cacao pods.  They grow in a variety of colors.  For example green pods turn yellow when ripe, maroon pods turn candy apple red when ripe.  Other colors include purple, orange and rainbow!

These are the seeds (or cocoa beans) inside of the pod.  They are covered with a bitter coating that will help ferment the seeds.

After they have fermented, they are cleaned off and left outside to dry on these racks.

Cocoa beans on the drying rack.  These will be ground to make the cocoa powder used to make chocolate!  This chocolate farm only makes milk and dark chocolate.

Fun fact:  White chocolate is not actually made from the solid bean, it is made from cocoa butter, which is extracted from the bean.  Since there are no cocoa butter extractors on the island, they are limited to milk and dark chocolate only.

It was really interesting to see this done as a small operation, given the extremely unjust conditions that many cacao growers face in developing countries.  At least one aspect of eating chocolate was guilt-free today! m On to cofee next!

Coffee Farm

There is a oot of coffee grown in Hawaii so I had lots of options for a coffee tour.  No one will be surprised to hear that I chose the Kona Historic Socity’s Living History coffee farm!!  YEA!  The nerdiest of an already nerd activity!

So...the Kona Historical Society has preserved one of the early coffee farms on the island that was run by a Japanese family.  It was purchased by the Ushida family in 1913.  The Ushida’s had immigrated from Japans and decided to take up farming.  However, they had no experience farming coffee when they bought the coffee farm in 1913.  The spent the next few years learning from local farmers how to grow it.  This was the beginning of what we know know as the Kona coffee industry, which was led mostly by Japanese immigrants.  The Ushida’s were one of the first Japanese families to do it and encouraged and inspired many other to take up the trade throughout the 20th century.

Fun fact:  In the 1940s 50% of people living in Hawaii were Japanese.

The Ushida’s tore down the small farmhouse that was on the property when they purchased it and built a traditional Japanese home.  The Ushida’s had 5 children, who all shared a three room house (a iving area, bedroom and kitchen).

The Ushida farmhouse, built circa 1917.

To be totally honest, I had absolutely no idea how coffee grew.  I knew it came from beans, but that was about it.  Well...it grows on trees.  Coffee trees can live and produce coffee for hundreds of years, in fact.  Coffee beans actually form inside of these cmall round berries.  (They sort of look like cranberries.)  They are green when unripe and turn a bright red color when ripe.  Inside each berry is a small amount of flesh (similar to grapes) and in the center is a coffee bean.  In order to make coffee, the berries have to be picked, the skin and flesh need to be removed, the beans need to be dried and then they can be roasted.  Coffee beans are harvested 4 months out the year from September - December.

Coffe tree.  The base of this tree is over 100 years old.  The branches are trimmed every few years, but the base and root systems can remain for hundreds of years.

Coffee berries.  These are small because the are yound.  They are about cranberry sized.  The will grow to be closer to grape size when it is time to harvest next September.

The Ushida’s also grew other plants for subsistence farming and to sell at local markets.  Although the weather in Hawaii is perfect for growing almost anything, it can sometime be difficult to farm because of the lava rock that covers most of the land.  Plants that do very well in Hawaii have extremely strong root systems that can actually break through the rock or grow within cracks a crevasses in the rock.  (Like coffee, cacao and pineapple).

It’s a baby pineapple!  It’s one of the only plants, where if you plant any part of the pineapple it is capable of growing a new one.

This may look like a cucumber, but it is actually a plant that grows bath loofahs.  Yep, for real.

See!?!  I didn’t make this up.

During the 4 month harvesting season, the Ushida men would wake up at 2:30 to start harvesting and finish after sunset.  The women would wake up at 4:30am.  The entire family, including small chilren, would harvest the beans.  The most difficult part of the process was removing the skin and flesh from the beans.  It is only since WWII that most farmers had a mechanized process to do it.  For centuries it was done by stomping on them with your feet.  Like grapes.

Once the beans are removed from the berries, they need to be dried, which can take up to 10 days.  The Ushida’s would leave them out in the sun to dry and bring them into the shed when it rained and at night.  At any given time there would be over 1000 pounds of beans drying.  (On average, an adult could pick 150 lbs. a day).  In the 1940 the Ushida’s developed a brillant idea to create a drying platform on the top of the barn/shed that had a sliding roof, so that they could cover the beans at night or during rain and not have to carry the beans in.  Genius.  This is the original roof and the sliding mechanism still works perfectly!

Kona coffee is still an institution in Hawaii.  Descendants of the Ushida family lived in the original house until 1994.  (They never modernized the house, it still had a wood burning stove and outhouse/outdoor bath house)  The historical society bought it and preserved it.  It is still a working farm today.

Lunch

L&L Barbeque is Hawaiian fast food institution.  I stopped here for lunch and was not disappointed.  Many of the things on the menu reflect the Asian and Japanese heritage of the island.  I ordered the chicken lovers platter, BBQ chicken,  Chicken katsu and...something else delicious.

Chicken Lovers Plate

Bees

My last stop for the day was Big Island Bees.  A bee apiary.

Big Island Bees, Kona

I have always been obsessed with bees (and colony animals in general, like ants) so I was SO EXCITED about this.  I have probably told many of you this, but the U of M refused to let me volunteer at their bee lab and I am still really bitter about it.

Kim, the master Bee keeper, gave us free samples and showed us the hives.  They have several sites across the island that produce different kinds of honey.  There are two ways to get flavored honey.  One is to infuse a flavor into already created honey, like pepper or cinnamon.  The other is to place the hives in a area where they have access to only one or prodominantly one kind of flower.  Their bees make three kinds of honey.  One from Macadamia Nut trees, one from the Wilelaiki blossom on theChristmasberry tree (introduced in Hawaii from Brazil) and the rareist type, the Lahua blossom honey, which comes from the Ohi’a trees.  Ohi’a trees are found only on Hawaii and grow out of lava rock.  The honey is naturally white.  (Apparently you can buy Big Island Honey at costco!)

So I learned a lot of cool stuff about bees.  I could write for hours about it, but I’m just going to give you my favorite fun facts.  If you want to know more, let’s hang out!

Fun fact 1: Queens can live for 1-5 years, where as the rest of the bees in the hive only live 4-8 weeks.

Fun fact2:  All of the worker bees in the hive are female.  The only male bees in the hive are called Drones.  Their only job is to mate with the Queen, so when the food is scarce or the hive is in trouble, the female workers bees evict the Drones by biting off their wings, pushing them out of the hive and leaving them on the ground to die.  Sorry fellas, they don’t have time for freeloaders!  I love bees!

Fun fact 3:The worker bees go through four different jobs in their short lives 1) Take care and feed of the baby bees, which hatch in the cells in the hive, feed and take care of the queen, protect the hive, and forage for pollen.

Fun fact 4: Bees are super ruthless, if the queen is not doing so hot, the hive releases special pharamones (sp?) so that the queen will give birth to her own replacement and then they will kill the queen once she’s born.  Total mutiny.  

Not so fun fact 5: Bees are in trouble because of a small hive mite that has starting taking over the hives, laying eggs in the cells and eventually forcing the bees out of the hive.  Hives have to be checked and treated regularly to keep from being infested by these small invasive beetles from Asia.  Boo!

Beekeeper Lisa

One hive.  It contains both the cells for honey and for making baby bees.  This hive has no drones, because it is a slow honey producer, so they opted to kill all of the drones until they have more honey.

The queen is in here somewhere..

Lastly, bees can make art.  Their so cool and talented.  I am ecited because my goal for this spring and summer is to plant a pollinator friendly yard.  I applied for a grant to do, I will know shortly if I got it.  My eventual goal would be to have a hive in my yard, but it is really hard to overwinter bees in Minnesota, so I might have to work up to this.  Future goals...

Honeycomb sculpture (Real honeycomb that the bees constructed over a metal frame)

That’s it for the day.  Tomorrow: Travel along the southern coast of the island to visit the Place of Refuge National Historic Park and one of only 4 green sand beaches in the world.

[hub-pub-bub]

Whether you’re currently writing a book, querying agents or on submission to publishers, allow me to share this small-but-important truth: There’s an editor out there right now—sorting stacks of pitch letters, book proposals and manuscripts, thumbing through literary agent submissions, reading selections of the manuscripts she requested from authors directly—who is seeking to buy a book similar to yours.

So, in a sense, your future editor is out there thinking about you.

Picture this person for a moment: Perhaps she’s an associate editor for a mid-level imprint, working her way up at a growing publishing company. She majored in creative writing or English literature or journalism in college, where she developed a passion for Jane Austen or Jack Kerouac, Joan Didion or Anne Lamott. Whoever her muse, she knows good writing when she sees it. She wrote articles for the school newspaper or poems for the literary journal, nabbed a good internship after college and she’s worked hard ever since to finally land her dream job—acquiring and editing books full time and getting paid for it!

The 7 Deadly Sins of Novelists (According to Editors)

Now she fills the role of champion for her authors and books. She pitches the books she discovers to her own internal publishing team, during which she makes a case for both the editorial and business side for acquiring said manuscripts.

Her boss expects her to acquire a handful of new books every year, and though she’s still learning and growing into the job, in part, her performance is tied to the performance of her selections. If she acquires and takes a huge financial risk on a book and it bombs a year later, it reflects on her directly. Of course, like anyone in a new position, she needs time to grow and, sure, she might have more seasoned editors guiding her through this journey. But eventually, given a couple of years, her acquisitions become hers to own.

Does all of this create a little pressure on our friendly associate editor? You bet.

Every editor’s list of acquisitions is viewed (especially by management) as their own personal business within the greater publishing company, complete with its own profit and loss statement (P and L). As a result, each individual book might get more or less scrutiny depending on how it fits into the greater scheme. The worse the editor’s books perform, the harder time she’ll have convincing her team to take risks on her projects in the future.

When you’re writing a book, preparing a proposal or query (for publishers or literary agents, because agents make decisions based on whether they think a publisher will be interested), it’s important to think about your future editor. He is a human being, just like you, and every day he is facing the very real difficulties of the changing market, the shifting retail landscape and his own internal company pressures. He, like many editors in this business, hopes to come across something special—a work of unique power or appeal or finesse or authority—that makes him feel like he did in college when he read Jack Kerouac.

As someone who once sat in the editor’s chair at publishers large and small, I know those simultaneous pressures and hopes firsthand. My first publishing job was as a junior editor acquiring and editing 10–12 books a year for a small, family-owned press. To be honest, for a long time I had no idea what I was doing—but I worked hard and soaked up every lesson I could. Despite my inexperience, over the course of several fairly successful years, I found myself the publisher of that small imprint: hustling to make budgets; publishing competitive, influential books; learning the fast-changing worlds of marketing and publicity; and managing a team that shared my goals.

1. Do Your Homework

Every category and genre of publishing is governed by unspoken rules. In the world of traditional trade book publishing, fiction and nonfiction aren’t the same. For instance, most editors sign nonfiction book deals based on one to two chapters. But for fiction, and especially with first-time novelists, editors typically need to read the full manuscript before a deal is done.

If you’re submitting the next high-concept business book to an experienced agent, or an editor at a business imprint, make sure you’ve done your research. Do you know what other books the literary agent has represented, or the editor has acquired in the recent past? Has that press recently published a book like yours?

Immerse yourself in books similar to your own. Read in the category, but also study the jacket, the acknowledgements page, the author’s blog and their previous books. Conduct industry research on publishing houses, editors and literary agents through sites like Publishers Weekly. Attend a conference, watch lectures on YouTube. Read relevant articles, essays and blog posts.

To know a category is to know the world in which your future editor lives every day.

2. Use Concise Communication

The volume of reading material that accrues on the desks of editors and literary agents is immense. These folks read mountains of content every day, sifting through stacks of submissions for eye-catching queries.

Which is why yours should get right to the point—in such a way that compels them to read more. Don’t belabor your initial synopsis or write a three-page email. If in doubt, the fewer words the better. Share a little about yourself, but only the most relevant points.

Most important: Any sample writing you include should read fast and clean. Editors aren’t looking for reasons to reject, per se, but when inundated, it’s far too easy to dismiss a submission for little things like spelling errors, awkward phrasing or poor formatting.

3. Sign With an Agent

Inking a contract with a good literary agent can help avoid some of the above issues. When on submission to publishers, agents almost always get a faster read than unsolicited queries—especially in certain categories. There are several reasons why this is the case. First, most literary agents take the time to build relationships (and a level of trust) with acquisition editors in the genres they work within. Second, because publishing professionals have such limited time, agents effectively serve as a filter, siphoning in projects with higher-caliber content. Plus, most have also taken the time to work with their authors to develop and shape their book concepts, which adds additional value for the publisher.

I’ve also had countless conversations with authors who published their books agentless, and suddenly found themselves in a strange new world with no idea how to navigate it. Their books released to the world and their lofty publishing dreams slowly wilted as they made mistakes, agreed to bad contractual terms, blindly trusted editors, or neglected their marketing and publicity campaigns. The best literary agents act as a trusted guide, thinking through these details long before a deal ever comes to fruition.

4. Grow Your Platform

Here’s a fact of life in modern publishing: Attracting (and holding) attention is difficult in any medium, especially in a world of social media, streaming television and unlimited self-publishing. As a result, presses look for projects with a built-in audience. It’s thus through a platform that authors can do just that.

I define platform as any outward-facing method a writer uses to attract a readership prior to publishing—which will, in theory, translate to that readership purchasing the writer’s book. It can manifest as anything from a YouTube channel, podcast, blog or Twitter following to an email newsletter or college classroom.

Think of your writing as a business, and take the initiative to build your influence via a robust platform, which will only increase your chances of publishing.

5. Forge a Relationship

Once you sign a book deal, you’ll be assigned a “champion.” More often than not, that person is an acquisitions editor or developmental editor, but it may also be the marketing manager or the publisher herself. While every press is different, often that person is your point of contact throughout the publishing process—from beginning to end.

Whoever your point person, be intentional in building that relationship. If possible, meet your champion face-to-face, or at least set up regular phone calls. Get to know her. This small investment of time and effort on your part can pay off big in the long run.

I’ve seen authors send a nice handwritten note after a meeting or a phone call, thanking the participants for their time. And sometimes I’ve seen those simple thank yous tacked to the wall of an editor’s office years later. A small, kind act goes a long way, and when you need a favor down the road, your champion will remember you.

Guide to Literary Agents 2019

6. Remember to Engage

Shift your thinking about the publishing process: Turning in your manuscript is not the end, but the beginning. The more engaged you are at each subsequent stage, the better chance your book has of making an impact in the market. Writing a terrific manuscript is step one, but you must also help to market, publicize and sell.

Seek to be included in the key publishing decisions along the way, including the final title, cover design, marketing and publicity strategy and so on. Believe it or not, each of these things is regularly decided without the author’s input—but by becoming a part of these decisions, you can bring your vision to the table.

7. Be Your Book’s CMO

Remember: You are your book’s Chief Marketing Officer. You are its first and last advocate. Be clear that this book is still your baby, while remaining cordial and professional.

Consider setting aside some of your advance (if you received one) to help market your book when the time comes. Thinking that far ahead is tough, but every bit of marketing is important: strong Book 1 sales pave the way for Book 2.

If you know your publisher’s marketing strategy (presuming you’ve stayed engaged in the process), then you can supplement it. For example, if the publisher focuses on store placement, ads in industry magazines, focused banner ads and a book tour, then perhaps you invest in hiring a freelance publicist to line up TV, radio or print interviews.

Once you’ve garnered a book deal, it’s easy to sit back and let the professionals handle everything for you. But resist, for your own sake (and the sake of your book). Your book is your baby. When it gets out into the world, you’re the best one to teach it how to walk.

You’ve devoted hours, days, months—even years— to writing and editing your novel or nonfiction book. With all that time invested, it’s natural to want recognition for your hard work and dedication. Take your writing one step further and tackle the publishing process. When you enroll in this online course, you’ll learn the details of the query letter format and how to write a query letter that catches the attention of agents and publishers. Learn more and register.

[delicatefury]

October 15th - Random thoughts from another temporary LCS

Same town different coffee shop. I like the food here more, but the coffee at the other place is definitely better (even if they make their own syrups here). So this is the breakfast place™, and that’s the writing place™. Atmosphere-wise, they’re different but I like both.

—————-

This week I turn 30. My BFF (the one I actually live near. The other’s still in Hawaii) wants to go out to celebrate. I wonder if I can get her to go to the vintage wine bar... We’re easing back into an... active? Friendship. Not that we’re not still super close. But when you only see each other a few times a year, conversations tend to default to “what’s happened since I saw you last?” Events, y’know? So now we’re kinda easing back into the stupid wonderful friendship of seeing each other at least twice a month if not more. So now we actually have room to talk about stupid important shit like dreams ambitions current events griping about life family pets lack of love life philosophy fandom do you still want to read my novel you can crash on my couch if you need a night or two away look at my stupid cat you have to tell me when you get a puppy i want to spoil it so much.

———————-

This week TDPL turns 2. I’m at 5 chapters. Still. I know. I think I’ve maybe updated once this entire year. My goal had been a chapter a month. Then 4 chapters a year. Then an average of 3. I’m not even gonna try to give a timeline at this point. I think maybe when my days are busier, I might have an easier time writing.

Currently, I haven’t gotten much writing done due to “guilt from not having a job”. Which is easing now that the job search is starting to bear fruit. Makes me feel creative. Now if only i had a place to work at home...

——————

My interview is Friday. I need to go buy a new suit (I lost weight in the five years since I bought my first interview suit and it is obviously bad-fitting now. Pencil skirts aren’t meant to sit on the hips), new heels (mine are at least 8 years old), and practice my interview questions. My aunt has been amazing for that so far. She hires people for her company all the time, so she knows what’s up.

I’m struggling on the “five years” question. Y’know, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I... am not an ambitious person. And I feel like it’s a question to make sure you’re “driven”. I’m not driven in that I’m not motivated by my own status and success. I’m motivated on getting the... well, on getting the issue solved. I want to rise exactly as high as I need to be to most effectively get problems fixed and the work done. I’m not gunning for Partner (though that would be nice) or VP or Lead on a case. I want to be able to put my skills to use. And if doing so means I take those positions, than that’s where I want to be. How do I explain that in a way that impresses hiring partners?

Personal ambitions? I want a quiet, simple, fulfilled life. I want to be useful. But I also kinda sorta want to own a yarn store? Or coffee shop? Or book store? A place that I can make cozy and indulge in my great loves and help other people discover those simple wonderful things?

I want to finish writing and publish a book.

But I’m good at being a lawyer. Crazy good. Lawfully good. And I like the challenge too. So it’s not like I don’t want to be a lawyer in 5 years. It’s just... I have a kinda see where life takes me approach sometimes.

_____________

NaNoWriMo starts in a little over 2 weeks. No clue what I want to write about. No clue if I’ll have no time to participate or too much time.

I think... I think if I can brainstorm enough and research enough, I might cheat a little and do a rewrite of my one finished novel. Because the first draft is terrible and focuses almost entirely on a romance that is central but a subplot at best. Which means I got lost somewhere and need to buckle down and rediscover the actual story I want to tell and whether that needs to be one book or two or three.

Ugh. I love my BFF who lives here, but the BFF in Hawaii is the one who’s always been involved with my writing endeavors. And it’s just not the same discussing said things over phone and/or skype as it is talking it out in person. Oh well. I’ll figure something out.

________

The attempts to be social have not born fruit. Mainly because there’s nothing going on right now in the alumni association or the the bar association, though the local NaNoWriMo chapter is ramping up. Problem? It’s in the city, and right now the city is a 45 minute drive for me. If I get a job soon, it won’t be so bad because 1) my job will be in the city and I don’t mind a 45 minute commute for work, and 2) I’ll just do things after work. But right now it’s a pain to drive that far on my own for just a 1-2 hour thing.

But I did get drinks with the BFF this weekend. Next weekend, though, I’m babysitting my nieces and nephew so literally everyone else in my family can go to an event. Because I got lost in the shuffle of coordinating said event and my older sister assumed that one of us younger siblings would be available and didn’t bother finding a babysitter.

Love her, but really? Anyway, since I wasn’t even aware that there were plans for this weekend to begin with (mom swore she told me, but then younger sis reminded her that was our brother they talked to), I decided to just take one for the team. Eh, who wants to risk awkward conversations with people from high school anyway? I think I’ll wait until I’m employed again and not just tagging along with my parents at 30.

—————

Researching local law is fun. Since I’m doing this for my own potential side-business, I at least don’t have to worry about ethical issues of practicing law without a license (a common saying I’ve run into while researching where the line is: You can always file your own paperwork). I have my license for the state next door. I won’t be licensed for this state (where the farm’s located) until sometime next year.

But the farm’s in an unincorporated part of the county (duh. Not many farms within city limits), so I have to go all the way to actual county zoning code to find the answers I need. There’s no convenient website for these questions like there are for municipalities. While anything I do would have to wait until I at least sit for this state’s bar next July (my 3rd license, but whatever. I’m still a baby lawyer so I can’t just skip the stupid test yet) to be distributed, I’m thinking about putting together a little packet to help other farmers and “unincorporated” (read: country) folks in the county out when it comes to expanding their businesses or pursuing a new line of revenue.

Because the county zoning code is 214 pages and written in legalese. That’s not even touching on other state and county business law questions that crop up. Most people out here assume you can do whatever you can on your own land, especially if it’s zoned for agriculture, and especially since most locals aren’t gonna report you for doing what you want on your own property (because they also assume you can do what you want so long as it’s not hurting anyone/running afoul of the EPA). Probably because their parents and grandparents were able to just start businesses with little interference...

But Dad’s got quite a few stories of people gettting blindsided and unknowingly racking up pretty big fines because, as I said above, there aren’t exactly any easy to understand or easy to access resources for the unincorporated areas of the county.

——————

Dragalia lost is a better game than it has a right to be.

______________

It’s about 11, and I’m trying to avoid “Yapping Dog Syndrome” (telling someone your plans appears to be negatively correlated to the likelihood of executing said plans), but I think I might still list them here. (Convincing my family that it will help me if I don’t actually tell them what I intend to do for the day is gonna take some work....).

So, on the agenda:

Depending on if my Mom texts me before I leave, I’m gonna go pick up some legal pads on my way home. You don’t realize how much you miss something until you don’t have it anymore, and legal pads are a boon for researching. I love my moleksines but they’re definitely better suited for brainstorming/writing then idea development/research. Frankly? Between the ipad, print-outs, and books, they get in the way.

I’m gonna spend about an hour or two on the municipal code/etsy policies.

I need to update my cover letter and send it to at least 2 places. Including that charity.

I’m gonna work on my nephew’s blanket. He’s 2. There are literally no excuses. Also, I can’t move onto new projects until I finish it. Including the new baby’s blanket, socks, my own winter gear, and a ton of started but left unfinished stuff for the rest of the family.

Cleaning up my room. It’s... untidy. I mean, most of that’s not my fault. The room was general storage for Mom’s massive project of cleaning out the attics (yes. Plural. We use the undereaves of the house for storage. I’m 98% certain there’s nothing in the actual above-the-second-story attic. Also, the attics contain things going back to Dad’s childhood). So there’s boxes and boxes of stuff. Mom and Dad’s winter clothes, wrapping paper, seasonal decorations, enough musical instruments for a blue-grass/jazz fusion band (sax, trombone, trumpet, banjo, electric guitar, electric bass, drums, keyboard, acoustic guitar x2...), and toys from our childhood that Mom and my big sis want easy access to for the nieces and nephew. Who do indeed love said old toys (though the nephew’s favorites are actually Dad’s old die-cast tractors. Dad has mixed feelings about letting a 2 year old play with what are technically antiques.)

She’s gone through a lot of it. Like, I’ve got room for my bed, dresser, a mini living room for our gaming consoles (I told you it’s a big room. It takes up about half of the upstairs. I shared it with both sisters growing up. We each had our own mini-room in a corner and a shared area by the walk-in closet) and space for the cats’ stuff, but half the room is still packed with junk and the occasional box crosses over into my living space.

Anyway, Mom should have an answer for me for the legal pads soon, so I’ll be heading out.

I might have something for TDPL’s 2 year anniversary on Thursday, but don’t hold me to it.

[tutorofenglishtokoreans]

And so I boarded that midnight bus to Singapore from Melaka after waiting for almost 2 hours for the bus to come as scheduled. Yes, expect delays and sleeping late when traveling on the road. It was the same thing during my land trip from Butterworth, Penang to Melaka about 2 years ago. What I liked about the night trip this time was that I chose a 27-seater bus, and since it was the last trip out or a late night trip for that matter, it wasn’t a full bus.

And it turned out that it was just all right that the bus was delayed. I arrived in the vicinity of the Golden Mile Tower at about 6 AM, just a few minutes before the Singapore sun finally brightened everything. Except for that inconvenience of a delay, my road trip to Singapore went very smoothly this time.

I booked online and took a Starmart Ekspres. The bus from Melaka to the Singapore border wasn’t really a new one, but the interior was good enough. From the border to Kampong Glam Park, we were given a much better bus, still a 27-seater. (No, I’m not advertising; they didn’t pay me for this;~~ for illustrative purposes only)

This time’s border control was superb! Or was it just because I arrived at the border very early in the morning and maybe we we’re one of the first of many buses to have arrived. Whatever the reason may be, it was easy-going compared to the last two year’s. It used to be that one had to queue at a designated bus stop and hop on any or the next available bus from the same company that parked at their designated stop.

I totally liked it this time around: Bus passengers just have to take note of the plate number of the bus they’re taking (and is waiting for them) after they’re done with Malaysian immigration stamping.

This new bus takes a few minutes to reach the Singapore immigration. This time I didn’t have to go up an elevator. Just fill out an entry and exit card and give the immigration officer an address to wherever you’re staying in the country. The same bus will be waiting for you at its designated stop. I didn’t see any queue waiting to embark on their bus anymore. It was that smooth.

The drop-off point was at Kampong Glam Park, about 50 meters away from the Golden Mile Tower. I discovered later after having a quick tour of the park and its neighborhood.

Our drop off was here in this park nearby Masjid Fatima, at the center of Kampong Glam residential buildings

Since my goal was to enjoy this Singapore trip as cheaply as I could, I had to take advantage of the freebies the Lion City has for me. First in my checklist is getting a Singapore Tourist Pass good for 2 days and I had all convenience of the public rides for free. Click this link to know other options available.

Taking my time, I went around the area of the Golden Mile Complex. Since I wanted to have an early breakfast, I tried to find the Hainanese chicken meal (a popular chicken dish in the Malay peninsula) in the Golden Mile Food Centre.

Unfortunately for me, the shops that serve it were not open yet. Only the noodles were available, and I was not keen to have some despite the time of day and the long bus ride. I just took my time to freshen up a bit at the public restroom here.

Having stopped close to the Golden Mile Tower Complex, the nearest MRT station with a Transitlink booth I could go to for my tourist pass was Bugis MRT. However, the Translitlink office there doesn’t open until 10 AM.

(I think you can also get the tourist pass at 7-11 shops, but I just wanted to check the area along Beach Road to Bugis, and that was just what I did.) I simply considered it my early morning walk.

  Here are the free things I did:

Enjoy the cool morning breeze at Kampong Glam Park while sitting on a bench fronting Masjid Fatima. This religious site reminded me to do my morning prayer, too.

Masjid Fatima @ Kampong Glam Park

   Visit the Malay Heritage Center and its vicinity~~

You don’t have to go inside the museum, though. The area around it and the streets are instagrammable enough. I went there early in the morning, so I couldn’t go in the museum even if I was curious to. If I am allowed a longer time away from work and visit Singapore again, with not just a weekend getaway, I will go back to this area to experience it more.

Stop by Masjid Sultan~~

Walk down Beach Road and turn right at Sultan Gate St. Just go straight and you won’t miss the arch of this impressive mosque on the left. Its magnificence yelled at my hunger pangs to scram! Entrance is free, but then again I was there too early when the morning was still busy for prayers.

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Check out the colorful life (and bustling nightlife) at Haji Lane and Arab Street~~

Instagram fanatics and selfie addicts celebrate! I didn’t take a lot of selfies but took a lot of pictures as I went around. Boy, I was sure glad I went to this place which is not always included in many tour packages of Singapore. The vicinity itself is a museum full of relics and artefacts. If you pay a visit to the Malay Heritage Centre Museum of the Children Little Museum, the experience will be like going to “a museum within a museum”. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about not having gone inside a real one.

One of the mesmerizing murals at Haji Lane

I hoped to show that I was as ecstatic as this woman on the mural…

I had a Singapore traditional kaya toast for breakfast at The Fun Coffee at the ground floor of Raffles Hospital. I couldn’t recall eating a hearty breakfast for the longest time. Beside the coffee house is a Starbucks.

MUST EAT!!!

Here’s how you order your coffee in Singapore. I chose Gula Melaka coffee and the traditional kaya toast. Lovely combo!

  For lunch I had beef rendang, and this dish has been my ultimate favorite of all beef dishes. This is like quoting Sylvia Plath when she said

“I craved him constantly, so deeply it was a physical ache”

I’ve ordered beef rendang from a Singaporean restaurants but not in Singapore or Melaka. I’ve cooked it at home, but I couldn’t tell if there was any difference, so I wanted to go for the authentic, yeah. Time allowed me to enjoy it in the Terminal 1 departure lounge of Changi Airport. I went to Changi from Bugis MRT. That quick. I had to explore something at Changi at this time.

I wish I were always a big eater, but it’s very seldom that I am. There’s a long list of food to eat when I visit a place, but sadly for me I couldn’t get to try everything on the list for fear of upsetting my tummy. So I went hungry after all that walking of course, so it was time to stuff my hungry worms. It just so happened that I came across this 1983 Taste of Nanyang bistro, and to my huge delight they have my deeply craved for beef rendang.

MUST EAT!!! beef rendang @1983, Level 3, Departure Transit Lounge, Singapore Changi Airport Terminal 1

5. Pay a visit to the Civilian War Memorial Park~~

After Changi, I went to this park in search of something free to see. The park was not crowded despite the day being Saturday and Christmas eve, so I liked it. It drizzled for a few minutes, so it wasn’t a hot afternoon to say the least. There were some couples, some families having an afternoon picnic in some spots, others were just lazing around just passing time. I saw another tourist like me who’s busy taking photos here and there, too. It was a rare moment in my life to sit by a park bench and watch a kit of pigeons. That was the best part: me bumming around aka resting (ho-ho-ho)! I never knew I could miss parks like that, haha!

This can be an interesting tour to do in the future.

The Four Chopsticks

6. Book Fair @ Suntec~~ I wanted to go early to the Marina Bay Sands and Gardens by the Bay, but lo and behold a book sale. Another weakness of mine I couldn’t let pass. Entrance was free of course. I spent my late afternoon here after sitting a while at the park. I thought I’d get some novels for me and some friends in Saigon but the queue for those paying in card was terribly a kilometer long, so I forgot about buying more for friends. I opted to pay in cash (for which I didn’t bring enough S$) so I had to prioritize buying only a Murakami and 2 laptop bags. It was fun going around a gigantic book sale, though. No regrets!

        7. Gardens by the Bay~~It was Christmas eve, but Singapore doesn’t really have a fancy celebration for Christmas. However, I underestimated the crowd here at this time of year. I enjoyed the night view for a while, but seeing that crowd stressed me out, so I didn’t stay long.  I would’ve loved to stay longer because the trains were good until 1:30 AM anyway, the Christmas morning.  Going to the Gardens and back to the MRT, I got caught in a sea of human traffic. I regretted going there that time.

8. Chinatown~~ The first time I came to the People’s Park Complex and its vicinity, I sort of liked it. But this time most shops were closed when I arrived there, so I didn’t bother going around the area much, as I got tired from that agonizing crowd at the MBS. I planned to buy trinkets here, but I thought I could just do it the following morning. Tt didn’t happen; here’s why…

Well, maybe I would just cut my 2nd trip experience to Singapore to a day because on my second (and last) day there, I OVERSLEPT! My plan to go to more places that morning was ruined all because I woke up late. All that walking must have made me dog-tired that I didn’t notice.

I could have done more free things like visiting the Botanic Gardens and the Changi Point Coastal Walk. Yeah, regrettably. I will definitely do more on my next visit.

After taking a quick shower and saying goodbye to my uncle and family at Sembawang Close, I quickly headed off to the airport. It just dawned on me that it was Christmas Day and the airport could have long queues, but I was wrong. Everything was smooth-sailing. So I had plenty of time to burn at the airport, getting a S$10 refund for the tourist pass, and used it well at a souvenir shop, and having late lunch of nasi lemak.

Incredible? Yes, very much I guess.

  Here’s how I did it: (computed in USD)

     Saigon to Kuala Lumpur (via AirAsia): $43.40

     Airport breaky (NZ Curry House) about $2.50 with mee goreng and teh tarik

     JR Cawangin: about $13 for the big serving of asam pedas fish and lime juice

     Panorama (old, red bus): about 37 cents

     McDonald’s Dinner: about $3.70 for ayam goreng spicy chicken and cappuccino

     Melaka to Singapore (bus): about $6.15 (I booked it here.)

     Fun Toast breakfast: about $4.11 for the traditional kaya butter toast and Gula Melaka coffee

     Starbucks: $3.37 for a tall serving of mint tea

     1983 Lunch: about $5.08 for beef rendang set meal and milk tea

     Singapore Tourist Pass: about $19.43 (S$26 with a $10 deposit for the card)

     Airport dinner: about $4.60 for nasi lemak with coffee

     Singapore to Saigon (via Vietjet): $78

     Grand total: $201.20

     Less: about $7.47 (refund for the STP deposit)

     NET TOTAL: $193.73

Click her for the Melaka walking tour! Please keep posted!

Let’s go places!!

Mabuhay! 🙂 

  Incredible 3D-2N Melaka and Singapore in under US$200 (Part 2/2) #soloSaturdate #soloSundate And so I boarded that midnight bus to Singapore from Melaka after waiting for almost 2 hours for the bus to come as scheduled.

[benjamingarden]

Starting Your Own Path To Simple Living - Begin Today!

One of the popular questions I receive goes something like this: "I want out of the rat race but I don't feel like I'm ever going to get there.  Where do I even start to achieve a more simple life?"  The short answer is - figure out what your simple life looks like and stop buying things that don't move you toward that goal. Oh, if only it was that easy, right? Living a simple life (a.k.a. voluntary simplicity) is a change of lifestyle that minimizes the needless consumption of material things and pursuit of wealth for it's own sake.  The focus shifts to embracing a scaled-down, slower paced life that focuses on what you truly need and genuinely cherish, be it material things, relationships, work, etc.  It is living a life that is intentional, less complicated, and more meaningful.  Most of us are on auto pilot, spending our very short time on earth in pursuit of material things even though, if we are truthful with ourselves, our deepest aspirations are actually nonmaterial ones. Simple living isn't about deprivation.  Far from it.  It's about living with fewer distractions - owning less, wanting less, finding gratitude for the smallest of things, and spending the time you do have enjoying life.  It means letting go of anything that interferes with your own high quality of life.  There are no rigid rules, it's what feels right for each of us.  Simple living is a lifelong journey about being who you really are and living a life in harmony with your values and integrity that is designed by you rather than by society. Does this mean a life of no responsibilities, problems or worries?  Absolutely not.  It simply means living a life that is fulfilling to you and aligns with your deepest desires.  We've all got one shot at this life so it's all about making it the best one you can. Let's look at more of a step-by-step guide to planning your own journey.

1. Identify Your Goals This really is step one because your goals, or vision, for a simple life is what will drive all other things you do (or don't do).  All of our vision and, eventually, journeys will be unique to us, even though we may have many commonalities.  Because of this, it's imperative that you decide for yourself what your personal vision is. a. If you could do anything with your life (money, responsibilities, location, etc. aside), what would it be?       My personal answer is this:  We would live on 10+ acres, debt-free, with a small home and plenty of housing for animals.  We would take in and care for neglected and abused farm animals.  We would grow much of our own produce, make most of our meals and products from scratch, and make a living from our farm.  We would work to get more involved in our community, build and embrace a small circle of friends, spend time taking care of ourselves, and learn to live and appreciate a simplified life of less stuff. b. Now, taking what your ultimate life would be, break it down to something that seems somewhat manageable.  What could you aim for, as a lifestyle change for the next 2, 5 or even 8 years?  If your ultimate vision doesn't seem possible, what type of vision seems attainable?      My personal answer is this:  We will live on the outskirts of town on 1+ acres, debt-free, with a small home and housing for some animals.  We will take in and care for a few neglected and abused farm animals.  We will grow much of our own produce, make most of our meals and products from scratch, and make a living from our farm.  We will get more involved in our community, build and embrace a small circle of friends, spend time caring for ourselves, and learn to live and appreciate a simplified life of less stuff.      Because it is quite expensive in our area, what seemed more manageable was to aim for less property and starting smaller on our journey.  It's also important to understand that your vision and goals should remain fluid.  Your circumstances may change and, as you work toward and within your journey, your vision of what you want for a life may also change.      As an example, we ended up purchasing a small farmhouse on just under 1 acre of land.  This is too small of a property to take in abused or neglected farm animals.  We originally thought of our home as a stepping stone to our ultimate vision.  It's been about 10 years and we've realized that our vision has changed.  Everything has remained the same with the exception of taking in farm animals.  Although someday we may have the property to take in a few, we've since decided that caring for a lot of animals is not what we would like to do at this point in our life.

2. Create Smaller Goals Leading To Your Larger Goal In order to get you moving toward your goal to a simple life, smaller more manageable goals will make it feel more attainable. a. Make a list of your smaller goals and keep them where you can see them daily.      Some Of Our goals were:        - Sell, give away, toss, or donate all of the items we own that we don't need or love.        - Pay off all credit card, college, and auto debt.        - Stop shopping mindlessly and try to make do with what we have.        - Start a budget and begin paying cash for what we purchase.        - Cut spending by $500.00/month and put that money into savings.        - Purchase a property in the country.        - Pay extra on the mortgage to pay it off early.        - Start a farm-based business.        - Make everything from scratch at least once.  Continue making from scratch if it seems reasonable and if the homemade product is superior to what is purchased.        - Support local small businesses and farmers.       - Plant a garden and learn to grow much of our own food.       - Learn to preserve food.        - Leave the rat race and work for ourselves.        - Adopt animals.        - Get back to writing.       - Find time for art projects.       - Spend time regularly biking, hiking, golfing, and/or walking together.       We haven't yet achieved all of these goals, and they weren't in any particular order, but smaller (flexible) goals kept us focused on our larger goal and kept us both working toward the same thing. b. Every choice you make, going forward, should take your goals into consideration before you make them. i.e. if you say "let's go to dinner Friday night" and your budget is tight, think about your goals.  Does spending money on dinner out, when you are trying to save for a lifestyle change, benefit your future life?  Does it hurt it?  If it doesn't benefit it and does hurt it, start making choices that instead support your goals.  Save the money, make dinner from scratch, and focus on working toward your new lifestyle. 3. Start Budgeting No, it's not necessarily the most enjoyable step in the process, however, it does get more and more enjoyable the closer you get to reaching your goals.  Because finances are such a huge part of our lives and the primary factor in making decisions for our lives, it is imperative that if you don't currently budget you begin.  Today.  Budgeting is the only way to truly begin actively working toward your financial goals.  I can tell you this from first-hand experience.  I tried everything I could to work around making and following a budget but it wasn't until I finally gave in to the process that we started making headway.  Trust me - start a budget.

4. Begin Making Things From Scratch Meals, cleaning supplies, soap and skincare, salves and ointments, etc., make what you can from scratch, at least once.  You may be very surprised at the cost savings as well as how easy you can fit many of this into your lifestyle.  The nice thing is you can start doing this now, while you are at the start of your journey. It may seem overwhelming to try and fit making things from scratch into your life but you can find a way.  Don't try converting to all homemade, start with one or two things.  Get that under your belt and then add another.  Try to think about ways you can prepare things ahead or in steps so it better fits into your schedule. If you like structure, one thing that benefited me was to make an annual plan.  For instance, in November I make enough cleaning supplies (glass, all-purpose and laundry detergent), elderberry syrup, honey cough drops, and vapor rub to get me through the year.  This way we aren't suddenly running out of it when we need it and I'm not trying to fit in making it every few months. March and October were lotion, deodorant, and soap-making months (of course, now we make them all of the time because it's our business).  All-purpose and drawing salve is made in May, beeswax food storage wraps are made in October (if needed), and facial products are made twice a year in March and September.  The first Saturday of the month is when I typically make any products I have planned for that month. 5. Learn To Live Frugally Don't wait, start today.  Make baby steps or jump head first, whichever is the most effective method for you.  Learn to make do with what you have, look for used items as opposed to new, and simply do without. Stop shopping.  It should be your absolutely last alternative and well thought out before you make a purchase.

6. Downsize Your Belongings Before Downsizing Your Life People who live a simple life consciously choose their possessions rather than following the cultural norm of purchasing more stuff to fill up their home and life.  This typically results in wanting and needing far fewer things.  When you surround yourself with fewer things it's much easier to develop a genuine love and appreciation for those you do keep in your life. If your ultimate goal is to downsize your life, start now with your belongings.  Instead of purchasing things to simplify, make sure you truly cherish all of the items you surround yourself with.  If not, get rid of things.  Buying new organizing systems doesn't help your efforts, it only adds expense to it.  I'm not suggesting you get rid of everything tomorrow, instead, begin going through your stuff and questioning whether or not you "need" it and whether or not you love it.  Once you've completed a purge (or two) then reassess the organizing of what remains. 7. Get Out Of Debt All debt.  College loans, credit cards (no matter how small), car loans or leases, personal loans - all debt.  Debt is paying for the past not living in the now or saving for the future.  Eventually, getting your mortgage paid off as well will be the last debt to get rid of before you are completely free of the weight of owing others.  Being debt free means you have so many options because you're overhead/minimum earning you need is now minimal. Many people tell themselves they have no choice but to keep working a job they hate.  I know, I've been there.  They believe they need two full-time workers in the family in order to keep their heads above water.  Yup, been there too.  There are some circumstances where this is absolutely true.  However, in most cases it's not completely accurate.  It's all in what is important to you.  If you reduce your needs and wants, and therefore your expenses, many times you can then accommodate a lower income.  You can then choose to find employment in an area that accommodates personal passion and fulfillment.  It may also allow you to be self-employed, or become financially independent and retire early, or even work part-time.  The point is, you get to decide. 8. Save Money Finances are a tough subject.  Many people believe this is what will always hold them back from living the life they dream of.  And maybe it will, or maybe you can adjust your dream to fit within your budget.  That's what we've had to do.  Were we completely comfortable, financially, with making the jump to working for ourselves?  Absolutely not.  But to us the risk was worth the reward.  We'd been planning our better life to start in retirement, hoping we'd be ready financially at that point to make the shift.  But, after experiencing the sudden loss of a handful of friends and family members who weren't even able to get to retirement years, we realized it was time to begin enjoying our life now. It's tough at times but in the end, the decisions we've made are worth it to us.  Would we like to own more property and be more financially stable?  Absolutely.  But we are so incredibly happy and not having reached all of our goals doesn't stop us from living an altered version of our good life.  And we love it. Save money wherever you can, starting today.  Pay yourself first and continue reviewing your budget for areas you can make cuts or eliminate some expenses completely.

9. Learn New Skills This is something we continue to do.  Learning new skills will save you money and empower you to take care of many things yourself.  Plus, it's a great challenge and accomplishment! 10. Build Your Circle Of Friends If you currently are not surrounded by friends who have a similar life goal, begin seeking out some who are.  These are people you can bounce ideas off of and share fears and wishes with.  These people won't think you're crazy or struggle to understand what you desire.  Instead, you will find support, compassion and inspiration.  I'm not suggesting moving away from friends who don't have similar interests, but rather, adding additional friends to your circle who have similar motivations. 11. Begin Today Begin working toward your dream life today.  Don't waste another hour or even another minute.  You are worth it - you deserve to live a life focused on living. Begin living an amended version of that life today.  Do what you can where you are - don't wait for things to align perfectly "someday" in order to begin making the changes.  That will likely never happen.  Begin enjoying your life and living consciously today.  Not only will you begin learning to live more simply, you will also see that the lifestyle you desire is possible.

Starting Your Own Path To Simple Living - Begin Today! was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[edgarglassfurnitureage-blog]

Why We Love Interiors Invogue Prosecco Glasses (And You Should, Too!)

Transforming London: The New Breed Of Designers at the Super-Prime

London's modern-day HNWs have various priorities and needs for their houses-- and fresh brand-new designers are stepping up to satisfy the challenge with ingenious techniques, writes William Cash.

Every years-- or generation-- London sees a new type of interior designers or 'developer-designers' who stand apart and consult with an aesthetic voice, whose vision mixes easily with the architectural zeitgeist. While a lot of HNWs have actually heard of Candy & Candy (or at least their Monaco superyacht), Finchatton, or a custom company like Fenton Whelan, these 'designer brand' firms are all now regarded as well established. To put it simply, they've made lots of loan establishing in London's super-prime market, which up until recently was up 40 per cent given that 2009.

However, following punitive stamp task hikes, London's super-prime market is down 20 per cent. 'Billionaires are shunning the London luxury residential or commercial property market, with sales of "super prime" ₤ 10 million-plus homes in the capital collapsing by 86 per cent over the past year,' the Guardian reported in October. The paper cited figures from Land Registry which exposed that just five homes were sold for more than ₤ 10 million in the 3 months to August 2016, compared to 35 such residential or commercial properties in the exact same quarter the previous year. Outside London, no property offered for more than ₤ 10 million.

As always in the home development service, such cost falls have created new chances for designers who are tuned into the mindset of HNW customers, and more importantly are not trapped economically with a slate of expensive super-prime jobs and advancements on their books. HNW clients aiming to purchase 'off-plan' have different priorities-- such as wanting a two-bed lateral flat with sufficient entertaining area to host twenty for dinner, rather than a six-bedroom ₤ 11.5 million super-home.

The previous few years have the emergence of numerous under-the-radar people who are transforming the guidelines of interior design and of what it implies to develop a designer 'brand' today. Leaders consist of Katharine Pooley and Helen Green Design, which are following in the custom of the excellent London interior designer brands such as Colefax & Fowler.

What is most striking about such iconic 'designer' brand names is that, on the whole, clients concerned them since they wanted their hallmark look. Colefax & Fowler pioneered what is understood today as 'country house design', using a rejuvenating mix of contemporary elegant and traditional chintz that removed away the cluttered gloom of Victoriana. But the brand-new type of designers is moving away from the signature brand name look. Instead, their clients desire provenance, originality, artisan-craftsmanship, eccentric architectural details. These designer-developers have an approach of design that transcends the aesthetic into the practical.

Edo Mapelli Mozzi of Banda is enthusiastic about the phase set of modern urbane life. For each Banda task, 'designers, craftsmens and professionals are carefully chosen to ensure the houses we produce an interest the relevant market. We aim to exceed expectations in terms of the quality and service in the properties we deliver.'

Banda's acutely detailed bespoke work shows the most profound goals of HNW customers today and society's changing architectural tastes and domestic design. Edo, who was brought up and informed in England, has actually adopted the title of Noël Coward's 1932 play Design for Living for his branding functions. 'At Banda, our houses are built for life,'

he states.

With twelve years' experience, Edo and his team utilize their deeply ingrained 'market intelligence' (i.e. relationships with representatives and purchasers' agents) to source wacky properties, typically with some industrial heritage or architectural provenance. Using a group of 'artisan-craftsmen' and designers, the Banda idea is to just put its name to an advancement that has 'an original identity' and will 'make its own mark'.

The Banda Design Studio is uncommon because it offers a genuinely 'complete service' experience for HNWs, from interior design to architect's designs, through to the dressing of all show homes within advancements. The most talked-about designers of each generation are more than simple designers: they provide a window into the soul of our times and the Way We Live Now. Some 95 per cent of Banda's work is 'speculative advancement'; the other 5 percent is a private commission or job work.

Edo has actually been establishing 'character' properties in areas like Battersea, where he has had notable success converting an old pastry shop. 'A lot of our company model has been producing prime lateral flats outside the standard zone 1 location,' he says. He mentions that in locations like Nine Elms most two-bed flats vary from 900-1,300 sq ft. Think kitchen dinner for four-six if you squash around the table. 'So you can't amuse.'

His two-bed flats tend to be 2,000-3000sq ft. In one flat he had a 'bedroom that had his-and-hers dressing rooms, a big bathroom with an amusing area where you might have twenty for dinner or 40 for a drinks party. But it's a two-bedroom flat. And that doesn't exist on the market.' When Banda took these 'two-bed prime lateral' flats to market, all sold in 24 hours. 'We produced something that is not cookie-cut, is not what everyone else is producing.'

Edo says his client focus has actually constantly been based on listening to what 'owner-occupiers' desire, instead of the sales pitch of agents. 'We know there is a need from these sorts of downsizers, people in their early fifties whose kids have actually grown up, have left home. They require an extra bed room however they do not need a five-bedroomed home anymore. However they still desire the space they had.' A lot of also have an office area.

Another leading example of the leading brand-new type of designer is Andrew Murray, founder of Morpheus London design. I first met Andrew in May at the MIPIM exhibition in Cannes, where he had invited me to an unique lunch celebration. Andrew is likewise a co-partner (with Simon Davis) of the Rosebery, Britain's the majority of unique double-decker personal box bus-- more like a personal yacht embellished like a Mayfair club than your typical bus.

I asked him how a designer today can get the balance right between being a high-end 'brand name' (like the Rosebery) and at the very same time keep being unique and private as a business with private commission work. The answer is that Morpheus is rooted in artisan design work. His mother was an interior designer and his father 'very innovative', and this is the common DNA design aspect to all its jobs. Andrew started as a cabinet-maker and joiner, basically self-taught. 'This has been vital due to the fact that I understand how things are made, and I know how things must stream,' he says. 'So, coming from that craftsman background, the company developed as my exposure to luxury property evolved.'

Andrew's occupation started at Canford School in Dorset, which had an outstanding carpentry department. 'I set up my service when I was still at school,' he states. 'I embellished a workplace block when I was about sixteen and utilized people from school, which was quite enjoyable. So it evolved from there.'

Customers started asking him suggestions on all aspects of the style job-- not simply the cabinet he was making. 'I realised none had a complete service, and they were constantly at a little bit of a loss. So they were having this charming piece of cabinets made, however everything else didn't really match, and the provision of service wasn't there. It was really historic. It was extremely in the old school. And so I saw a chance to offer the sort of end-to-end service.'

Morpheus is now one of the most sought-out design firms in London, with clients all over Europe (for this reason the stylish but discreet lunch party at MIPIM). It wasn't constantly so attractive, though: his very first big task was the conversion of a large home in Stockwell in which the dance act KLF utilized to live. 'Then I ingratiated a designer in Mayfair who had a portfolio of 60 apartments-- rentals. I was about 25 then, and I took control of the advancement management of their maintenance, archive, repair-- so it led from there.'

The next move was to develop his own aesthetic design-- putting the Morpheus imprint on tasks without them becoming more about Morpheus than the client. 'I look quite at the function of area. Our designers do the interior design and the stylising, but I do the function, the flow, the function. Which was coming through really highly then, and I believe that's what caused success and caused growth.'

What makes Andrew the choice of moguls, UHNWs and City tycoons who desire their homes to stand out however also stay under the radar design brand-wise is his knowledge of who the very best craftspeople are. 'I can still go onto a website and state, "Actually, make it like that. It's much more industrial." So Morpheus is a design house, but we are also so much more than that-- we understand commercial truths. If a client states, "I've got four homes that I want you to design," I'm not even going to take a look at the style till I've understood the industrial organisation case. And I'm going to go, "Who's going to purchase it? Why are they buying? What do they desire?" And after that that will lead the style.'

[samuelfields]

Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less

After a tense 14-12 softball victory, the six of us went to a nearby brewery for some beers and burgers. I ended up sitting next to our centerfielder who told me he used to hate his life. Let’s call him Biff.

In high school, Biff was a popular guy. At 6′ 5″ tall, he played varsity baseball and varsity basketball. But he admitted he was sometimes cruel to the smaller kids and exchange students. He wasn’t proud of his actions and wished he could apologize to them today.

After the financial crisis hit in 2008, Biff fell into a deep depression. The house he had bought when he was 27 years old ended up losing half its value. He was told he couldn’t lose and that real estate was the surefire way to riches. Not only had he lost all his equity, but he also owed more than the house was worth.

He was so deep under water, all he wanted to do was turn in his keys and walk away as so many Americans did. There was just one problem. Florida was not a non-recourse state. As such, the lender could easily obtain a deficiency judgment and garish his future wages and non-exempt assets.

Biff proceeded to gain over 100 pounds as he literally locked himself within his rapidly depreciating prison. At 30, he was morbidly obese, broke, and girlfriend-less. Life had no more meaning to him.

Then one day out of the blue, the state of Florida threw him a lifeline by offering him a free $75,000 to pay off some of his mortgage if he promised to keep up with regular payments. He took advantage of this tax payer’s money and fulfilled his side of the deal.

Despite feeling a little guilty for getting a bailout, Biff started gaining positive momentum in his life again. Over the ensuing two years, he lost 70 pounds, got a promotion, and finally at 32 found a girlfriend. He also stopped hating on anybody who seemed to be doing better than him because he was finally in a better place.

The first step to him feeling happy was to make sure his finances were no longer going in reverse. Once his finances had stabilized, Biff’s happiness grew because he found someone who loved him despite all his flaws. Today they are married and have a daughter.

Being rich didn’t matter anymore to Biff. Making progress did. Oh, and being able to crush a softball 350 feet as our cleanup hitter makes Biff and the rest of the team ecstatic.

Money And Happiness Are Loosely Correlated

People say money doesn’t buy happiness is because it’s true. After you make enough to comfortably survive, whether it’s $75,000 in Kansas City or $250,000 in San Francisco, having more money seldom significantly moves the happiness needle.

The World Happiness Report 2018 ranked Finland as the happiest country in the world. The report highlighted six significant factors which contribute to happiness: GDP per capita, social support, life expectancy, freedom to make life choices, generosity and corruption levels.

Despite the United States having by far the highest GDP in the world, the United States ranked only 18th in the survey. What a conundrum to be so rich, yet so thoroughly average in the happiness ranking.

Some of the reasons attributed to why Americans were not happier included: wealth inequality, obesity, substance abuse, and depression.

On a GDP per capita basis, the United States ranks about 19, which is in line with its happiness ranking. However, GDP per capita alone doesn’t neatly explain why more of the wealthiest countries aren’t in the top 10.

For example, Singapore has a per capita GDP of $93,900, yet ranks 34th in the World Happiness Report 2018. The reason is probably because its too damn humid in Singapore!

Source: CIA

Happiness is subjective and extremely difficult to quantify. But based on the data, it’s clear that money is only one part of the happiness equation.

In my opinion, money takes up at most 40% of determining your level of happiness. Once you get to the level where you have enough money to do what you want, your 40% is maxed out.

The remaining 60% that determines your happiness has to do with family, friends, and accomplishments. If money was a predominant happiness indicator, billionaires would never cry, never suffer, and definitely never get divorced.

What I realize today is that I’ve spent too much time trying to help readers and myself optimize the 40%, and not enough time trying to optimize the other 60%. One of Financial Samurai’s main goals, after all, is to help readers lead happier lives.

So, for the remainder of this post, let’s talk about the other 60%. As I get older, I expect the types of posts I write will correlate more closely to the percentages I believe make up our happiness levels.

Things That Should Raise Your Happiness

1) Independence. Independence grows over time. The first taste of independence usually comes when you’re able to live on your own without parental assistance. Perhaps it’s going away to school or landing your first job.

Independence continues to grow once you start gaining respect and mastery at your job. The better you are at your job, generally the more leeway you’re given to do what you want. You might eventually get promoted to run a team or a department, giving you even more independence.

You finally gain maximum independence when you no longer have to report to anybody. Most think retirement is the ultimate goal. But based on my experience, retirement isn’t a cure-all for happiness.

Some people believe that entrepreneurship leads to maximum independence. Instead, entrepreneurship can lead to tremendous dependence if you hire workers and take in investors. What people really want is a profitable, bootstrapped solo-business or the financial independence to do whatever without caring about money.

My situation: Although I was basically a grunt at my first job in NYC and had zero independence, I was grateful to just have a job. After about six months of appreciating employment, my happiness took a dive due to the 12-14 hour days. Happiness level: 6/10.

When I switched jobs and moved to San Francisco, my happiness took a tick higher because I was in a satellite office that offered more independence. My boss and I were a unit that covered west coast clients so there was much more independence compared to being at the NYC headquarters. Happiness level: 7.5/10.

Once my boss left to become a client, I gained even more independence. But I also felt a lot more pressure to maintain the business and eventually grow it. Therefore, my happiness remained steady or might have even taken a tick down, despite higher pay and title. Happiness level: 7/10.

It was only after I negotiated a severance in 2012 did my happiness level creep up to an 8/10 and has remained at roughly this level with temporary spikes to 10. I knew what I wanted to do post work and pursued it with abandon.

2) Family. No matter how much of a knucklehead you are, most family members will provide unconditional love and forgiveness. They will support you no matter what.

It is estimated that the average friendship lasts only seven years because life gets in the way. While friends come and go, family members last for much longer. We must make an effort to regularly keep in touch with our parents and siblings.

My situation: When I got in deep trouble in high school, they didn’t further chastise me, but provided comfort during a time of great distress. When it was time to find a job, I remember my dad doing his best to introduce me to many of his acquaintances he got to know while working in Asia.

When I wanted to leave for a new job for more money in NYC after 10 years with my existing firm, my mom counseled me not to join because she knew the misery wouldn’t be worth it. When I decided to leave work altogether at age 34, they didn’t say I was crazy.

When it came time to settle down, they welcomed my wife with open arms. I always wondered whether they’d try to push me towards a certain type of person like some parents do, but they did not.

I am so appreciative that my parents always provided counsel and never put up roadblocks whenever I made a decision. Having them in my adult life for so long has been a blessing. Losing them will be incredibly difficult.

3) Your own family. If you are lucky to find a life partner, there is nobody you will love more in this world. If you want and have children, the amount of joy you will experience is beyond anything you can imagine.

I understand that not everybody wants children. In fact, 10% of you in my survey said you did not. That’s absolutely fine. Having a family made up of just you and your soulmate is incredibly powerful. Make it your mission to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.

My situation: I lucked out and met my wife when I was a senior in college. Because I met my wife so early, I’ve always had this minimum elevated level of contentment. I knew that worst case, if I could only make minimum wage working at McDonald’s, at least I’d have her in my life and we’d make things work.

When we finally had our boy in 2017, my happiness temporarily rocketed to a 10+. It was as if I had unlocked a new feeling that remained hidden for decades.

But as many first-time stay at home parents know, taking care of a little one is very difficult for the first several years. Therefore, my happiness has faded back down to about an 8 on average and sometimes down to a 7 when my boy’s temper tantrums are out of control. Even so, I’d never give him up for the world.

Be forewarned. If your relationship is rocky before kids, having a kid will likely expedite an impending breakup.

4) The ability to stand up for yourself. One of the worst feelings is getting bullied and not being able to do anything about it.

In school, you might get picked on by a bigger kid. You want to fight back, but you’re afraid of getting seriously injured. You rationalize that it’s better to give him your lunch money and starve than face his wrath.

At work, you might get tormented by a senior colleague. You want to tell her to stop, but you’re afraid of getting a bad review. You need the money because you just bought a home.

Online, you’re afraid to say what you truly think out of fear of getting ridiculed. As a result, you keep quiet and join a mob that bullies others for thinking differently. The fear of standing up for yourself and others is one of the reasons why bad things stay bad for a very long time.

My situation: Ever since I was in elementary school, I had the courage to fight back against bullies. I got in plenty of fist fights because I didn’t allow anybody to push me around or call me names. I learned as a kid that once you stand up for yourself, even if you take a few blows, the bullies eventually stop. Some may even apologize. The repercussions were a couple suspensions, multiple trips to the principal’s office, and a few bruises. But it always felt great to defend my honor.

I’ve carried this attitude of standing up for myself throughout my entire adult life. When there was BS happening at work, I spoke up often to my own detriment. I didn’t appreciate nepotism and often challenged senior employees whom I did not respect. This was not a good career strategy. When the big bosses in my corner were eventually pushed out, I was left with fewer backers.

Online, this site has grown large enough to attract unfortunately some hateful comments every week from people like the old Biff. Even if only 0.1% of the people hate your guts, however, that’s 1,000 people a month if you receive 1 million visitors a month. I generally just delete 99% of the bad comments. But if there’s a particular commenter who keeps badgering me then I may take a stand because I’m thinking about the world my son will face growing up. As a parent, I see it as my duty to break the cycle.  

One of the best benefits of being unemployed is that you can never get fired. So many people end up ruining their careers based on what they say and do online. Being able to stand up for yourself is definitely one of the biggest benefits of financial independence.

Standing up for yourself can initially feel scary. But the more you practice, the easier it will get.

5) Doing work that is helpful to others. One of the reasons why ~70% of people are disengaged at work is because they know what they do is probably not very helpful to society.

Imagine working at PepsiCo, whose entire goal is to sell sugary drinks and processed foods to get Americans addicted and sick. That can’t feel good given our obesity epidemic. Imagine working at Juul, whose main goal is to get adults and teenagers hooked on vaporized nicotine.

On the other hand, if you create or do something that’s helpful to others, you will feel extremely wealthy. Talk to veteran nurses, teachers, firefighters, and social workers. Many will glow about their rewarding careers.

My situation: Before 9/11 happened, it felt great working in finance in NYC. After 9/11, I felt a tremendous amount of sadness. Suddenly, nothing I did at work mattered anymore compared to what the brave first responders did to try and rescue the people trapped in the World Trade Centers. I wanted to join the U.S. Foreign Service like my parents and serve my country. But I did not because I was not smart enough or motivated enough to pass the Foreign Service entrance exam.

It took at least three years to get over my disillusionment of working in finance. During this time, I went to business school part-time, partly to see if I could gain some knowledge to do something else.

But part of the deal for having my tuition paid for was to continue working at my firm for at least two years after graduation. During this time, the financial crisis had hit in 2008 and there was nowhere I could go. The best I could do was hold on tight for my employment life as I had taken out a $1.1 million mortgage in 2006.

The 2008-2009 financial crisis forced me to once again re-assess what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted out but didn’t know what to do, so I started Financial Samurai to help figure it out. Happiness level: 5.5/10.

It was not until 2011 that I decided that my biggest joy was writing and helping people get their finances straight. By then, Financial Samurai was constantly on my mind even while I was at work. So in 2012 I finally said goodbye to my employer.

The thing that has helped keep me going for so long has been the consistently positive feedback I get from readers that outnumber the negative feedback 200 to 1. Over the past 10 years I’ve witnessed readers eradicate their debt, fix their spending habits, buy their first homes, leave toxic work environments, create thriving side hustles, build substantial retirement portfolios, start families and so much more. It’s been a wonderful journey and a treat to hear from each one of you.

Happiness level: 8/10.

This letter has grown in appreciation since first receiving it now that I’m a father

Feeling Happy Is Worth The Effort

Before you reach financial independence you might get tricked into believing that money is the main reason why people are happy. It’s easy to lose sight of all the other things on your quest for greater wealth.

However, you can be the richest person in the world, but if you have nobody to share your fortune with, I doubt you’ll be happier than someone making $40,000 a year in a job in which he or she loves and who has a loving partner and supportive friends in real life.

For the sake of happiness, it’s worth staying fit, finding people in real life who love us as much as we love them, and doing something that’s helpful to others. Who knows. We might even reach a point where we’re so happy that money starts pouring in as a byproduct.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how much money plays a role in your overall happiness. What are some other important things that make you incredibly happy? What are some things you notice happy people do that unhappy people don’t do?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Related posts:

The Desire For Money And Prestige Is Ruining Your Life

Be Rich, Not Famous: The Joy Of Being A Nobody

The post Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less appeared first on Financial Samurai.

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[ktrxs]

LMAO I Lied

The last post, like last week, claimed that I overcame my two weeks of living in the dark. That I was now normal again..

Well, I lied. Because that very night, I stayed up all night and didn’t get to sleep until 8am. 8AM!!!! Why? Why did I do that to myself when I spent two weeks trying to get back to normal? Well, I had a shit ton of energy that I wanted to use to code for fun.

So I did.

Well, It took staying up for 27 hours Sunday night until Monday night to go to bed decently at 8pm and wake up this morning at 4am.

I am not claiming that I have finally conquered my schedule. I could easily fuck up tonight AGAIN and be screwed for another week. But OMG I do not want to go through that again. It’s so hard nowadays to stay up to 24 hours. I used to do it with no sweat as a teenager, but OMG, once you hit 23, you’re as good as gray.

Well, the week also caused a depressive rut for me. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and I was just a wreck. 

Yesterday was pretty nice. I stayed up to have a meeting and then I and Brandon had a date. We have agreed that we need to start prioritizing spending time together. So, every week, we’re going to have a date. And we each are in charge of planning the date on alternating weeks. 

I was in charge this week. I had plans on going on an adventure, but I was so exhausted that we stayed in and had a great time. We talked, played a game of questions then played Rento and Pokemon. I made chili for dinner and it was really nice and really fun.

So, I can’t wait for what he comes up with next week. 

I haven’t gone into too much detail on the horrible months of May and June this year. It was very traumatic and not just for me but for the whole family. And there are several effects that have happened because of it. One effect is that the other part of my family (the ones who stayed behind while my mom’s house was moving to TN) literally bought a house, packed and moved down there within a 3-week timeframe. So now my WHOLE, the entire family is in TN.

The goal of everyone was that my mom would move down there and my other family and I would follow them down within in two years. Well, this whole incident has caused us to move the timeframe.

It’s very important for my family to be together especially in this time of need. My mother and her husband have 5 kids under 18. They are both still healing from injuries and need help. And two kids are still healing from injuries and have numerous appointments. Mom and her husband cannot drive anymore and need transportation. So, we all need to come together and be a big family who is there for one another.

We can’t do that when we’re 12 hours away. So, my aunt and uncle and cousins moved down about 3 weeks ago. And, I wish I could leave right now.

We need to own our own place since no one will rent to someone who has four cats. So, Brandon and I need to save and build up money. Our plan is to save for land and then save to buy a mobile home for the land or save to build our own home.

But, first, we need to change our lifestyle. We already are very frugal people. But, we have started to cut back and are now saving $100-$200 every paycheck that Brandon makes. And, I recently found a way to cut our food bill in half so we can save an extra $200 a month on top of what we’re already saving. It’s so awesome! 

Another part of the equation is making more money. Brandon, as supervisor, gets bonuses every month and he works overtime as much as possible. He also just got a raise! So, he’s kinda maxed out. On to me. My book is about to get published. I am still going to freelance. And I am finally going to launch my online school that I hope will bring in some extra money. 

At this rate, we can have $1000 every 2 months just on Brandon’s income. It will be faster with my money, but we like to make plans with Brandon’s income and treat mine as a bonus since it’s so inconsistent.

I’m looking for more ways and hopefully, we can get down there within two years!