#Because I really don’t have the energy to talk to my family about what I’m not doing with my life
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GÄVLEBOCKEN
Construction has begun, get your matches ready everyone
#gävlebocken#my beloved#this will (hopefully) give me the strength to survive thanksgiving#Because I really don’t have the energy to talk to my family about what I’m not doing with my life#BUT now I can tell them about how Gävlebocken is up
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#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍♀️
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could you do a lil drabble for each of the batboys with a ghost!reader who haunts the mansion? like the ghost is super nice and chill, and they help out in minor ways (help finding small items, cleaning up places, fixing someone’s clothes).
All the boys at some point knew the mansion was haunted, but not by the ghosts of Thomas and Martha Wayne, no but instead of a different person entirely who had no ties what so ever to the manner but thankfully you’re rather helpful and chill in comparison to how movies tends to stereotype ghosts as…something you take full offence to…
Jason
Ironically he reacted the least to you when you showed up in front of him one day, his red helmet in hand.
‘You’ve got to stop dropping this dude, it can only take a couple more drops before you break the fucking thing completely.’ You tell him as you set the helmet aside on his bedside desk.
Jason only looks at you with intrigue. ‘How did you get in the manor?’ He asks. You crossed your arms over your chest. ‘I’m a ghost, there is no getting in when I’ve been here for a little over a couple months.’ You replied
‘How?’ He asks.
You shrugged. ‘Dunno, I died a few feet from this manor and yet I got stuck here regardless, it sounds like the start of a shitty horror movie.’ Jason chuckled as he sits back on his bed. ‘Yeah it really does but aren’t you ghosts meant to be, you know…vengeful towards the living?’ He teases and you shot him a look.
‘First of all those ghosts are old cunts who are have a thing for killing young people and kids for the sake of enforcing their hatred towards the newer generation. I on the other hand don’t fucking care because what purpose does it serve me to frighten people into paranoia? None and besides you lot are a messy bunch that don’t know the first thing of keeping your stuff in your own rooms, you and dick are the worst for that.’
Jason raised his hands in defence. ‘Guilty as charged but they always seem to come back to our rooms regardless, so I’m assuming that’s you?’
You hummed.
‘Why?’
You shrugged again. ‘I’m bored and got too much time stuck here doing fuck all. So now I clean up after you lot to pass the infinite time I’m now cursed with.’
‘Must suck.’ Jason said as he looked at you. ‘Being dead and I should know but unlike you I was brought back against my will.’ You waved a hand at him as you sat next to him. ‘It’s not all bad being dead but I think coming back to live is an even worse fate to have.’ You then look at him with concern for his wellbeing. ‘How do you do it?’
Jason stayed silent as his steely gaze locked onto the wall in front of him. ‘I’m still trying.’ Was all he said and you decided they your time here was over as you walked over to his doorway but looked back at Jason before leaving. ‘Talk to your brothers, before you regret not doing so later…I know I regret not saying anything to my family before…you know.’ You tell him with a weak smile.
Jason was left mulling over your words that night.
Dick
He fainted the moment you handed him his weapons to him. This wasn’t the first time he did it either.
You weren’t amused as you sighed. ‘Okay big guy, let’s get you back to bed.’ You settled aside his weapons on the kitchen counter where you found him, before focusing all your effort and energy into lifting him up and carrying him back to bed, tucked in tight like a baby that he was when it came to horror movies.
You often left dick’s stuff in places he frequently visited or in his room rather then stay long for him to see you, all in the hope of not having to hear him scream and potentially faint on the spot, for in all honestly after the first few times it was beyond ridiculous, and you couldn’t be bothered to make an attempt to ease his anxiety about you if he wasn’t even conscious for you to do so.
He was the one you interacted the least but would keep an eye on from afar like you did with the rest of the boys.
So when he finds himself in his bed, he’s confused, he thought he was in the training room before but then he remembered that his encounter with you sent him into unconsciousness. He wasn’t the biggest fan of horror movies and ever since his first one, his fears and worries towards ghosts has grown since his siblings love horror movie nights, much to his dismay.
There was a ghost in the manor…but you didn’t seem hostile or as angry and violent as the ones he saw in movies, if anything you were the exact opposite but still his worries that this was all just a ruse was enough to have him on edge whenever he heard a creak in the floorboards or shutting of a random door.
‘Christ you’re hopeless boy wonder.’ You say out of instinct and dick, who had gotten out of bed at this point and wandered down the hallway, straightened up and looked over at you with wide eyes.
‘You!’
‘Me!’ You replied sarcastically. ‘Now before you faint on me, your weapons are in the training area where you fainted before I had to drag your ass back to bed, if not ask Tim as I left him the responsibility to tell you where they are.’ You add and within a matter of minutes, dick fainted and you sighed once more as you were forced to carry the man back to bed, more then ready to do this all over again should he cross your path once more.
Tim
Didn’t fully encounter you until he was on a hunt to find his missing computer charger, growing ever more annoyed when he couldn’t find it, only to hear someone from his doorway say;
‘Looking for this?’
Tim looks up to find your translucent hand hold out his charger, it almost looked as though it was floating in midair in front of him as though it was the carrot on the stick and he was the donkey, destined to be lured by the illusion of one day eating the carrot only to always be mere inches away from that reality but never getting any closer then those mere inches.
‘What the-‘ he begins but you raised your other hand.
‘Don’t freak out dude, I’m just a ghost who’s trying to help you find a charger, no need to reach for the phone and get a fake medium, nor call that John Constantine dude Christ.’ You said as you threw his computer charger onto his bed. Tim was still very much in a state of surprise at how you could intersect with objects, for as he was aware ghosts had to be able to muster the anger to do so, but here you were doing what other ghosts couldn’t so effortlessly and easily as breathing.
‘Thanks?’ He then says and you shrugged your shoulders.
‘No problem, also when dick comes and ask you where his combat sticks are, they’re in the kitchen…where he left them the night before, I would do it but I’m pretty sure he fainted when I held them t to him.’ You told Tim but before he could say anything else, you disappeared through the wall across his room and it left him with a cold sensation travelling through his body upon witnessing it.
He’s now going to sleep with one eye open in the instance you came back to watch over him like a sleep paralysis demon. That and he found out your death with a quick search.
Damian
Didn’t believe in ghosts until he caught you sorting out his art supplies in a neat and orderly manner.
‘Hey!’ He’d bark.
‘At least arrange your paint brushes from thickest to thinnest,’ you groaned, ignoring his bark, ‘it’s a pain in the ass to keep cleaning after you and keep the art desk clean also.’
Damian faltered and his anger subsided to confusion. ‘You’re the one who’s been doing that?’ He asks. You looked at his as though he grew another head. ‘Duh, of course I do. Also don’t wear anything that can get into acrylic paint, it doesn’t come out, like at all that shit ruins any good shirt you have forever see!’ You then showed him your paint covered sleeves with a smile.
‘How did you get in here without setting off the alarms?’ Damian questioned and you then sighed as you balled up a fist and threw a punch that went straight through the set desk, you leave it there for Damian to realise what your situation was before pulling it out. ‘You’re a ghost.’
‘In the flesh! Well flesh for you not me as I’m dead and all-‘
‘Yes I get that but-‘
‘Damian.’ Dick’s voice could heard through the door as the pair of you froze. ‘Who are you talking to?’ Damian was about to answer but when he looked over at where you stood, you were gone as though you had never existed and slowly Damian closed his mouth. ‘No one.’ He replied as he looked over at his art desk to see that you had cleaned his paintbrushes, organised them from height order and even brought a fresh canvas out for him too.
Something told him that this won’t be the last time that he saw you.
Congratulations you’ve gained his interest.
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc fanfic#dc comics x reader#dc fic#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd imagines#jason todd x you#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#damian wayne fluff#damian wayne x y/n#tim drake x you#tim drake imagines#tim drake x reader#tim drake imagine#red hood x you#red hood imagine
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Thawing Out
collab with @ellecdc
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12
cw: modern au, chronic pain, mention of Sirus' family but no talk of abuse, some talk of traumatic injury
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words
Sirius hates the cold. It makes him look ill, his nose always runs, and he does not have a head made for hats.
The walk to the rink yesterday was bad, with the chill and the early hour and the dark mood that seemed to permeate him like it infused his very blood, but you made it better by being yourself. He suspects you might have even been going out of your way to be sweeter than usual, given that you knew it was the anniversary of the day Sirius ran away from his family’s home. You’d tried to cheer him up. Still, yesterday was bad.
Today is worse.
You’re silent as you stalk down the sidewalk, one boy on either side of you. You said hello to both him and Remus as you stepped out the door of your apartment, and then that was it. If it were Sirius it might make sense, but you always have an unnatural amount of energy in the mornings. Obviously you’re not speaking to him. And Sirius is still upset about the addition of the death spiral to your routine, so he’s not speaking to Remus. And Remus is hardly one to spark up conversation during an uncomfortable silence, so that just makes the three of you a very sullen, very silent procession to your early fucking morning practice.
Except when you arrive, the rink is already bustling. You take one step inside before going back out the door, forcing both boys back outside with you.
“What the fuck?” Remus tries to peer inside. For once, Sirius agrees with him. “Who’s taken our slot?”
“I don’t know,” you say, but you’re still standing in front of the door like you’re barring their entry. “I’m going to go find out. You guys stay here.”
“Why?” Sirius asks.
Even when you look at him you’re not really looking at him, your eyes distant. If you’re trying to make him feel like shit, it’s working. “Because I don’t need either of you going in there to bite someone’s head off. I’ve got it.”
With that, you slip inside, not giving either of them a chance to argue. Sirius supposes he could go after you anyway, but you seem like you’d bite his head off, and he’s hurting enough from the cold without that extra ailment to contend with. He pulls out a cigarette instead.
“You really shouldn’t do that,” Remus hums, but when Sirius looks over the other boy is lighting up too, a cig dangling from the corner of his mouth. When he sees Sirius struggling with his lighter, his fingers frozen and clumsy, he rolls his eyes and steps closer.
Sirius goes still as Remus cups a hand around his cigarette, lithe fingers an inch from his mouth. The lighter rasps once, and the warmth next to Sirius’ face is a welcome sensation. When Remus steps away Sirius straightens his shoulders, expression carefully impassive as he inhales. He doesn’t thank him.
“She’ll have your ass for doing it, too,” he says.
Remus lifts a brow, blowing smoke out one corner of his mouth. “Why? I don’t need my lungs for anything.”
Sirius shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. She thinks she should be in charge of the whole world.”
A soft chuckle. Remus looks out to where the sun will rise in a few hours, the sky still a sweet blue. “Maybe she should be.”
Sirius can’t help a little smile at that. He takes comfort only in knowing Remus doesn’t see. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”
They lapse into a brief silence, easier and more contented than Sirius would have thought possible between the two of them. It breaks only when you come bustling back out the doors.
“Okay, so apparently—” You stop, looking between them both. “Guys. Seriously?”
“What?” Remus asks, but Sirius knows better, dropping his cigarette and stamping it out.
Your gaze flicks over him, almost approving but still a far cry from friendly. He swears your mouth wants to smile at him, only you’re not letting it.
“Those are so bad for you,” you tell Remus.
He levels you with a dry look, the brave bastard. “What does it matter? I’m not an athlete.”
You wince but don’t back down. “Athletes aren’t the only ones with reason to live past fifty.” You give him a hard look. It takes a while, but eventually Remus relents, dropping his cigarette as Sirius had. You nod, crouching to pick up both dog-ends and taking them to a bin. “Each one shortens your life by eleven minutes, you know.”
Remus meets Sirius’ eyes, incredulous. “She comes prepared with statistics?” he asks in a hushed voice.
Sirius nods. “Told you so.”
You brush your hands off on your pants. “Okay. Anyway, hockey practice got moved up.”
“You’re joking,” says Remus.
“Nope. And, someone else got wind of it before us, because the slot they had at nine has already been filled. We can’t practice today.”
Sirius shakes his head. “Bullshit. Why did hockey get moved?”
You shrug, hugging your middle so your hands can burrow under your arms for warmth. “Management said they didn’t know, only that someone on the team asked for a different slot just for today. Seems like they were sweet-talked into it.”
Your eyes meet Sirius’ for half a second, and he takes out his phone, frigid thumbs anger-typing away.
“So that’s it then?” Remus asks. He looks like he’d really like his cigarette back. “We’ve just woken up before dawn and we’re not going to practice?”
You sigh. “Seems that way. We can come back during open skate, but you know how that is.”
Sirius scowls, and Remus’ expression twinges with distaste. “Yeah,” says Remus, “let’s wait until tomorrow.”
You all break where you usually do, though hours ahead of schedule, Remus going off towards his place and Sirius walking you in the direction of yours.
“Fancy a coffee?” he asks you, voice intentionally light.
It has the expected effect. You bristle at his easy tone, keeping your eyes ahead. “No, thanks.”
“Fair enough.” Sirius would really like something to warm his hands, but he suspects he needs to pick his battles with you today. “Fancy telling me when we’re going to be friends again?”
You blow out a harsh breath. It crystalizes in front of you, and you walk right through. “Don’t be daft. We’re always friends. It’s because I’m your friend that I’m so pissed off with you.”
He nods slowly. “I don’t follow.”
You shake your head, anger quickening your pace so that Sirius is nearly jogging to keep up with you. “Why can’t you ever stay out of your own way?” you ask him. “I know yesterday was hard for you, but you can’t be an asshole to everyone just because you’re having a bad day.”
“Hey now, that’s not fair.” Sirius knows joking probably isn’t the best tactic with you right now, but he can’t help himself. “I wasn’t an asshole to you, was I?”
“That’s what I mean!” You stop so hard he nearly plows into you, but you don’t so much as flinch at the possibility. Your stare is fierce. “You can’t keep trying to scare him off. It’s not going to work, and we need him. Can’t you see how much better he’s made us already? I know you didn’t want a coach, but Remus is good for us. So you can stop being so difficult.”
“I am not being difficult,” says Sirius, though he often is. You stick your tongue in your cheek, annoyed, and he fights the urge to take your face in his hands. He hates having you cross with him, but at least you’re talking. “And you don’t know what we would be like if he weren’t here. We might’ve been fine.”
You sigh, looking suddenly tired. And so, so disappointed. “That’s not the point anyways. You know what you said to him yesterday was wrong.”
Sirius feels a dull stab in his gut. He knows. He does. He knew it the second it came flying out of his mouth, and he has no idea why Remus doesn’t seem as livid with him as you are. Remus, with his even voice and his exasperated, knowing looks and that stern little wrinkle between his brows, who seems able to wind Sirius up better than anyone else. A match to his short fuse.
“How would you feel?” you ask. Some of the anger has fallen away from your voice, leaving it soft and sad. “What if we went to competition in a few weeks, and you injured yourself so that you knew you could never skate again. And then someone used it to mock you.”
“He’s risking us doing that,” Sirius says, stubbornly, though he can hear the plea in his own voice, “by asking us to change the routine.”
“He’s trying to help us,” you reply firmly. But your shoulders droop, and you sigh. “I know you feel bad about it. I’m done being mad at you now. It’s exhausting.”
Sirius feels too hollowed out to revel much in the victory, but your arm linking through his does help some. “Some could say that was my plan all along,” he jokes weakly.
You make a halfhearted attempt at a chuckle. “Good thing I know better. If your hands are in danger of falling off, you could stop at mine, make yourself a coffee.”
“When I asked you for coffee five minutes ago you said no.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t done punishing you yet.”
#poly!wolfstar olympic au#poly!wolfstar#poly!wolfstar x reader#poly!wolfstar x fem!reader#poly!wolfstar x y/n#poly!wolfstar x you#poly!wolfstar x self insert#poly!wolfstar fanfiction#poly!wolfstar fanfic#poly!wolfstar fic#poly!wolfstar series#poly!wolfstar enemies to lovers#poly!wolfstar angst#poly!wolfstar fluff#poly!wolfstar imagine#poly!wolfstar scenario#poly!wolfstar drabble#poly!wolfstar blurb#poly!wolfstar oneshot#poly!wolfstar one shot#remus lupin x sirius black#remus lupin x sirius black x reader#wolfstar x reader#sirius black#remus lupin#figure skater!sirius#figure skater!reader#coach!remus#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader
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how i revised my boyfriend’s mother’s death
a little backstory
— for the sake of privacy, we’re gonna say my boyfriend’s mother’s name is kay
kay’s “death” was caused by a car accident (wasn’t her fault) and she later passed in the hospital. this all happened in new york, and my boyfriend and i live in georgia. but about a 2 days after we found out, we flew out there.
my bf and his mom were super close so that loss was a lot on him. he started burying himself in the gym, sleep, work etc & eventually he became really depressed. he would not get up out of bed and i could not take that. that was when i decided to revise her death, and this was like a week after she passed.
the moment i learned she was dead, i naturally entered the state of loss. so, i simply and quickly went over what state of mind i was currently in, and what state of mind i needed to be in.
now y’all know i love meditating <3 so ofc i meditated. the one i used is by edward art, i believe i’ve mentioned it before. but here’s the link 😌💘
so yeah after this meditation i had completely satisfied my imagination, i had a great feeling of serenity, and i was in the state of the wish fulfilled. + i let go of any need to control the 3d.
— reminder: don’t look at your 3d as something to change. things change when they change in consciousness/imagination. if you wanna manifest something, don’t point out your current circumstance as something that you need to change. be cool and fulfill it in imagination;)
— also sn: my boyfriend knows about the law but he doesn’t necessarily study or consciously use it. so, i didn’t tell him i was revising his mom’s death.
— and i had to continue to act like his mom was actually dead when i was around him, even tho at this point kay was 100% alive in imagination.
so in the morning, i would wake up and assume the state of fulfillment. throughout the day, when i would go check on my boyfriend, he always expressed his feelings, how i could help, and new ways he was trying to cope. honestly, seeing him so hurt and confused hurt me. and throughout this, one of the few things i always reminded myself was that, i’m not my emotions and i’m my thoughts, and neither of those things matter (in terms of manifesting).
another thing i always reminded myself of was the fact that i’m god, BUT i’m also human. so, the ‘god me’ was relaxed & satisfied. the god in me also didn’t have a hurting boyfriend with a dead mom. but the ‘human me’ did and he needed my comfort.
so that’s what i did, i comforted him because he was grieving the death of his mother. so what? i’m human, and i have human decency so ima comfort my baby.
HOWEVER, i didn’t attach myself to that (accept it). i didn’t look at me comforting him as “his mom’s dead and that’s final”, i just did it because he’s my bf and he’s hurt. but i still maintained fulfillment in imagination.
— i talk about this more in depth here. but basically the post acknowledges that yes, you’re god, but you’re also still human and you have a human life to respond to. so do that, respond to your life (when necessary) while simultaneously fulfilling the inner man.
as long as you continue to return to the state and fulfill SELF, you will manifest whatever it is you’ve fulfilled.
when it manifested
the night before it manifested, my bfs dad asked everyone (the family) over for brunch. just so everyone could be together during rough times and whatnot.
the next morning when we woke up, my bf.. it was like he completely reverted; he just went back to his regular self. i made sure to take a mental note of it.
as we were driving to his dads house he was acting very normal. all that pain, hurt, etc was not there. his whole energy was different. then what really got me was when we had got to a red light. he said “i already know my moms threw down, i wonder what she cooked”……….and i’m like, i know i’m not trippin. just went along with it and agreed with him cause what was i supposed to do lol😭?
so we pull up to the house and get to the door, and one of his brothers opened it. as we’re saying hi and walking further into the house we start smelling food and my bf goes “YUP! I KNEW IT!!”
then he walks into the kitchen and says “hey ma watchu in here cooking? it smells good”……. and his mom was literally standing there smiling before she gave him a hug.
this all happened naturally by the way. it was like… she never died😂�� the power of revision yall!
anyways the whole afternoon went by like nothing ever happened.
i honestly thought it was pretty funny. knowing how they used to interact with each other while they were grieving kay’s death vs now was hilarious. and what makes it funnier is they never knew and never will 😂😂😂
so there y’all have it, how i revised my boyfriend’s mother’s death. sorry i made y’all wait so long:) i literally got so demotivated while trying to type this.
feel free to ask questions cause ik yall got some😩😂 love y’all 🫶🏾
#law of assumption#neville goddard#imagination creates reality#loa#states#revision#success stories#successstories#law of attraction#affirmations#success story
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Astro Observations-32
Gemini moons have very unstable opinions and values. They usually change what they believe in based on their social environment. It’s very easy to convince them it’s this and not that if you’re convincing enough. These constant changes can make people confused in what they actually believe in. Very rare they have fixed beliefs about something. They contradict themselves a lot.
Gemini suns if underdeveloped can be big copy cats. I think they do it as a way to fit in so they’re more susceptible to changing their style or mannerisms based off of others they inspire to be like
Aries suns get triggered by everything very easily. If you say something they don’t like or that offends them they can take it from 0-100 real quick. They can be very mean at times but that’s usually their defense mechanism for feeling hurt. They can let wayyy to much things get to them they should learn to not take things so personally even if they are offended (this goes for Aries moon as well!!!) Controlling their reactions to how they deal with bs can help their mental peace a lot. When they learn not everything needs a reaction they can really become some bosses fr
Pisces/12th house placements show different versions of themselves based off of the persons vibe their interacting with. Which is why some ppl can see them as quiet and reserved and another person can see them as hot headed and loud and another can see them as sweet and outgoing etc. They can read ppls energy very easily which is why I believe they’re able to subconsciously change their personality to certain ppl as a defense mechanism to sorta see if that person is safe enough to be their true selfs. This can be why a lot of ppl see them in so many different lights. (Ex: my brother has a 12th house stellium and with family he’s extremely awkward & reserved but I’m his school he’s extremely popular & social and gets in trouble for talking too much). Learning to be more comfortable showing ur true self to others (other than the people they see as safe) can help others pin point better the person you are.
Cancer moons are so emotionally intelligent it’s insane
I notice your moon sign acts more like the stereotypical sign then your sun sign (ex: Scorpio moons act more like stereotypical Scorpios then Scorpio suns)
Leo moons are very passionate ppl. They want to live the intensity of life & they live it like that. That’s why ppl mistake their behavior for exaggeration & drama. These are actually their feelings they don’t exaggerate they truly feel that intensity. They’re only playful with selected people which is why others can see them as cold at times. If underdeveloped they can act like know it alls a lot, they can be very defensive and hard headed to others advice bc they believe they know better. Can result in big ego problems if not checked. But overall genuine hearted ppl.
Virgo moons get the “ick” from people easily that don’t value what they value
Sag moons do you guys deal with deep emotions at all? Everyone I met with this placement is abnormally very jolly & nothing usually bothers them much. How do you guys deal with emotions?? I’m lowkey jealous of this moon placement because of how well you take negatively. They’re able to transmute negative energy into something positive with such little effort. This can be somewhat stressful for deeper signs however to really see under all that joy. This lack of depth can make it harder for others to relate at times. This placement is the definition of golden retriever energy.
Ppl with Aries mars in their chart gain muscle VERY easily (especially in their arms) these people actually enjoy working out and going to the gym normally. As kids they had a surplus of physical energy. They were usually always running around or climbing stuff making obstacles courses, arm wrestling ppl etc. this placement is a blessing in terms of energy levels and health.
Taurus placement can sit around and watch tv all day if u let them. They really love TV especially movies. I notice this more with Taurus mars as well, they’re more likely to watch movies all day or binge watch shows for hours. It’s usually their happy place (and when u add food to it they’ll never leave lol)
Taurus moons usually always grew up loving fashion and clothes. Even as kids they can be very creative with the outfits the wore. They were usually too stubborn to have their mom pick out their clothes cuz they wanted a certain “look” (I’m guilt for this) they are also very fond of thrifting! Can be big shopaholics lol
Pisces moons tend to ghost ppl they’re close too with very little warning. They’ll just randomly decide to move to another state without informing anyone which can catch ppl off guard a lot. They do this especially when they feel overwhelmed with life and responsibilities. These are the hardest ppl to keep in touch with (unless you’re a love interest) they tend to put their love interests before everyone.
Pisces suns fall in love with some of the most psychotic/mentally unstable ppl ever lol. They tend to have very chaotic love life’s and tend to go for people that need some sort of mental help.
Out of all the Venus signs I feel like Taurus Venus’s have the easiest time in relationships. They tend to go for very stable people that usually treat them well. They have the ability to attract very helpful partners. (Cries in aqua Venus 🥲) however they can be more likely to take their partners for granted and don’t realize how good they have it.
Another question for other astrologers does the house of ur Venus give the same affect as the sign? Like for example ( does having a 5th house Venus give the same effect as having a Leo Venus in a way? Or is it not as strong?)
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Are you f****** kidding me?!
Masterlist
Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader
Prompt: y/n has very bad trauma with alcoholism in her family, so she never drinks. Natasha never pushes it and is always protective of her decisions but what happens when the boys play a little “prank”on y/n?
Warnings: trauma, ptsd in a way?, reader freaks out, getting drunk, spiked drinks, protective nat, swearing, mentions of sh, fake allergic reaction.
A/N: guys sometimes I’m not great at explaining things in the warnings. So I put a question mark lol. I hope y’all understand it though.
Y/n’s pov
Once again I’m at one of Tony’s parties. I think his excuse this week is his mom’s business partner’s daughter is having a birthday soon.
Whatever. There’s no point in actually caring it’s just another ploy for him to get drunk.
I usually leave before that time.
I start off my night with a water. I plan to finish the night with the same. Then suddenly Pietro comes up to me with Sam and says
“Hey y/n!”
I smile at him and notice he’s holding two drinks.
“Hey Piet. What are you doing?”
He smiles and says
“Bringing a drink to my favorite person.”
I roll my eyes at him. We get along because we like to prank people a lot. And play video games.
I frown as he hands me a drink and I say
“Piet you know I don’t drink”
He curses under his breath and says
“Oh right yeah! Let me take that and I’ll get you a virgin drink yeah?”
I nod my head and thank him as they both walk away. I guess Sam is just trailing along.
After a few minutes they come back and hand me a different drink and I say
“What is this?”
He looks at it and says
“A drink doofus”
I roll my eyes at his antics and say
“No I mean what’s in this drink?”
He looks at Sam and says
“It’s like a celcius!”
Sam agrees quickly and I say
“Oh. So like an energy drink?”
They both nod their head in unison and I smirk and say
“Thanks guys. You know I have a hard time with these things. Especially since nat is on a mission right now.”
Sam wanders off and Piet stays by me as I drink a few sips. It’s pretty good.
We talk a bit and Piet says
“How is that flavor? I have something else and I was just wondering.”
I smile and say
“It’s orange I think. Not the best but it’s decent.”
His eyes have a fire in them and he says
“Here! Why don’t I get you a different flavor?”
I nod and say
“I’m sure two wouldn’t hurt right? It’s only energy drinks and they don’t really affect me”
He nods and says he’ll be right back so I finish off my drink and wait for him.
When he comes back he has a slightly pink tinted drink for me and i immediately try it.
“This one is good!”
He nods his head.
I have about three of those drinks and I’m starting to feel great. My stomach hurts a bit but I feel fine.
And this girl is talking to me and her jokes are literally so funny. Like I have the giggles or something.
We start dancing and then I somehow end up with Wanda. We’re best friends but we are not leaving any room for Jesus. I usually don’t have this much fun at these parties.
Then I end up on a couch with another girl by my side and I’m just talking her ear off. She looks interested.
All of a sudden I get a rush of heat over my face. I just zone out trying to pinpoint what’s going on.
By now the girl has left and I see a flash of red come in my view.
“Y/n? Y/n detka focus on me. Where are you baby?”
My beautiful girlfriend Natasha pulls me from my trance and I throw myself on her and say
“Natty!!”
She lets me hug her and I get another rush of that feeling again.
She notices and says
“Are you alright?”
I nod my head and then think, and shake my head.
“What’s wrong detka?”
I lean on her shoulder as she sits next to me and I say
“I don’t know. I feel weird.”
Natasha looks at the table and sees three glasses and says
“Are those yours?”
I nod and smile
“Piet got me these three flavors of energy drinks. I can’t remember what he said they were called though. But he said they were like celcius”
She nods and grabs one of the glasses. She picks it up to her nose and smells it and sets it back down.
“Y/n you said you liked these? And you wanted them?”
I nod me head and say
“They were really yummy but I think they’re hurting my tummy a bit”
I pout and she looks to the side as if she’s scanning the crowd for someone. I follow her eyes and they land on Pietro and Sam who are giggling like teen girls. I slur out
“What are they laughing at natty?”
She looks to the side unsure of what to say and my eyes widen and I sit up. This realization has my mind sobered up a bit and I look at her with tears in my eyes.
“Nat? Is that alcohol?”
She bites her lip unsure of what to do but she nods her head and I say
“Pietro and Sam told me it wasn’t. They said they got me a virgin kind.”
She shakes her head and says
“I’m so sorry baby”
I shake my head and push her away. I immediately get up and walk off. I almost bump into a few people and I trip up a bit but not bad. I go straight to our room and Natasha decided to stay back to handle the perpetrators.
She makes sure Friday alerts her if I end up anywhere other than our room.
Nobody’s pov
To say Natasha was angry was an understatement.
She was furious.
She had to watch you storm off to probably go and cry because of what they did to you.
She stands up and brushes herself off. And then she calmly walks over to Pietro and Sam.
They say
“Oh hey nat! You’re back!”
Natasha smiles at them and says
“You wouldn’t happen to know what was in those drinks that you gave y/n would you?”
They shrug their shoulders and say
“What drinks? What are you talking about?”
Natasha is pissed so her patience is gone and she grabs them both by the ear and pulls them to the side of the room.
The noise isn’t any less quiet, it’s just out of the way.
And she goes ballistic.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! Do you know what you did to her?! Everybody knows that y/n doesn’t drink because of her fears that she will end up like her father. She’s probably in our room now panicking about how she’s an alcoholic from three drinks!! And you!”
She points to Pietro
“You know better than to do that! You know she has problems. And you still did that! I should have the both of you banned from stark parties forever! You both intentionally spiked her drink! You two are literally dead!”
By now the room is silent from how loud Natasha is screaming at them. All eyes are on them but she doesn’t care.
“She was your friend and you did this to her! That is the ultimate betrayal and I wouldn’t blame her if she never wants to see your faces again! Get out of here. I don’t want to see you at another party! And I expect there to be ample apologies tomorrow!”
They nod and scurry off. Wanda is behind natashw now and she gives her a look as if she’s asking if they really did that to you and Natasha nods her head.
Wanda’s eyes glow red and she walks off in Pietro direction.
After Natasha knows they’ll be handled she smooths out her shirt and looks around at everyone gawking at her.
She raises and eyebrow and says
“Would anybody like to go with them?”
They all shake their heads and go back to partying.
Natasha goes upstairs to find you in your room.
She slowly walks up to your ball of a self and says
“Y/n? Are you alright?”
Apparently she chose the wrong set of words because you shoot up and say
“No im not alright! How can I be alright?! I’m literally drunk because I’m a lightweight and I feel disgusting because I liked it. And that’s why I never drink because I’m just like my father and I’ll like that shit and I’ll probably get hooked on it now!”
You are pacing back and forth and your breathing is erratic so Natasha goes up and grabs you and says
“Woah woah woah. Detka please calm down. You need to hear me. You are not an alcoholic from getting drunk once. You know that you don’t drink and that you won’t drink. Just because you liked the alcohol does not mean you are hooked okay? You clearly don’t like being drunk at all because it is hurting you.”
You are now just standing in Natasha’s grasp as she speaks to you.
“And you are most definitely not your father. You know now to not trust them with drinks anymore. Listen. I’m so sorry they did that to you. But you need to know it is not your fault. At. All. They spiked your drink knowing that you don’t drink for a reason.”
Y/n’s pov
I nod my head taking in all this information. And I tear up a bit.
“Hey hey don’t cry baby. It’s okay. It’s not your fault”
I shake my head as some tears start to fall and I say
“No no. I’m not crying because of this. I’m crying because you’re so good to me. Nobody would have reassured me like this except you. I just love you so much.”
We both smile and kiss each other and then we pull away because there is a knock at the door and I softly say
“Come in”
Wanda steps in and says
“Hey. How are you?”
I smile and say
“Still drunk”
I laugh and Wanda says
“Do you want me to get you a water?”
Natasha shakes her head and says
“We keep bottles of water in our room. I’ll grab her one.”
Wanda nods and says
“Right well I just wanted to let you know that I just got onto both their asses again and they are on probation for two months”
I furrow my eyebrows and say
“Probation?”
Wanda explains to me that probation is basically they don’t get any missions for two months. And she also added in there that they have to do my mission reports for that length of time too which is amazing since I hate mission reports.
“Wow Wands. That’s so sweet. Thank you”
She shakes her head and says
“No problem. Now I have one more question. They want to come in and apologize to you. Is that okay? I just want to check.”
I think about it and Natasha says
“You don’t have to agree detka. They can sulk in their rooms for now.”
I smile when I get a devious idea.
“What if you guys help me prank them back!”
They raise their eyebrows in concern and say
“What kind of prank?”
I think and say
“I can use my makeup skills and pretend I cut myself because of how bad my mind got!”
Their eyes widen and they say
“Woah there. That’s a little much.”
“Yeah Wanda’s right. Maybe a less intense prank?”
I sigh and nod my head. And then I completely forget about my idea when I say
“Wanda! You can use your powers to temporarily distort my face and body and we can prank them by saying I’m having an allergic reaction to the alcohol! Make them regret it even more!”
Wanda smiles and says
“I think that’s a good idea, but you’ve already had the alcohol in your system for a while. I think allergic reactions happen faster”
Natasha says
“They’re stupid. We can say it was a late onset reaction”
I nod my head aggressively. A little too aggressive though so I say
“Woah. Too much head shake there”
Natasha stabilizes me as Wanda says
“Alright. Why don’t you sit on the ground and I’ll work my magic?”
I sit down a little slowly so that I don’t get woozy or anything and while I’m waiting, Natasha gets me a water to help me sober up.
Wanda then distorts my face to look all red and blotchy and I get fake hives everywhere. I smile and say
“Nat. When were pranking them we can go in my bedside table and grab my old inhaler. I can use it to puff and it won’t do anything, and say I’m out!”
She nods her head. Anything to make me feel better.
And Wanda steps out and says
“I’ll be back with the boys.”
I giggle at my devious plan and Natasha says
“You’re gonna have to stop giggling if you want them to believe it”
I nod my head and get in serious mode. I lie myself in Natasha’s lap as she sits on her knees to pretend like she’s cradling me.
We here Wanda walking back and saying
“You better apologize and mean it”
They reply with a few “yes ma’am’s” and Natasha decided now is a good time.
“Wanda!”
She all but yells.
Thank goodness the party is still going so nobody else can hear.
Wanda runs in with Pietro and Sam hot on her tail and they see me.
Natasha puts on a facade that she’s freaking out and I make my breathing labored as if my lungs are closing up.
“Wanda! Help me out here! Y/n’s having an allergic reaction to the alcohol! I need her inhaler!”
Wanda jumps into action and says
“Where is it?!”
“In her bedside table”
Wanda runs to get it and only now can I see the boys. Their faces are ghostlike when they realize what they’ve done.
I fake puff the inhaler and shake my head. Natasha checks it and says
“Fuck.”
Pietro and Sam are now freaking out and saying
“Wait she can’t have an allergic reaction it’s been like forever!”
Natasha responds with
“It’s late onset and now her inhaler is empty! None of this would have happened if you didn’t spike her drinks!”
I gasp and say
“Epi… pen”
And Natasha remembers I have an epipen for if I get stung by a bee. And there’s a trainer in the bag so she grabs the trainer and they freak out.
She uses the trainer which does nothing but make a click sound and then she sighs as Wanda makes the reaction fade slightly.
They all sigh in relief and Sam and Pietro are the first to say something
“Y/n we’re so sorry. We had no idea this would happen!”
“Yeah we wouldn’t have done it if we knew!”
Natasha looks up and says
“But you would have done it even though you knew about her father?”
Their faces once again go like ghosts and I start laughing at them.
They’re confused and Wanda starts to giggle.
I hop up and say
“You idiots! We pranked you back!”
They stand there confused. Sam is the first to say
“But- but you used an epipen”
I shake my head and say
“That’s the trainer. It helps people know what to do in a real situation. The trainer doesn’t have a needle or medication in it”
He sighs and says
“What about your inhaler?”
I shrug and say
“Empty one. Doesn’t do anything anymore.”
Pietro is just silent and I say
“Aww Piet. Are you sad that I just pranked you?”
He shakes out of it and starts apologizing.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I know you didn’t have a reaction but I’m sorry because I didn’t think about why you don’t drink. I knew why but I ignored it.”
I sigh and say.
“I forgive you Piet. Just remember that we don’t do pranks that cause harm to someone.”
He nods and I turn to Sam
“And I forgive you too. Now both of you. I’d like to inform you that I have been letting my mission reports back up and I’m glad to tell you that you have until the end of the week to finish five of them”
They groan and say
“Yes ma’am”
I smile and they leave. I turn to Wanda and say
“Thanks fairy wand. You made me feel a lot better”
And I turn to Natasha and say
“Thank you too”
Wanda leaves and we get into bed (not without me putting up a fight) and Natasha makes me finish the bottle before I fall asleep.
“Thank you natty. You’re so good to me”
She smiles and says
“You’re a little devil when you’re drunk you know that?”
I smile and say
“Eh. I’ll be fine tomorrow”
She rolls her eyes and we fall asleep in each others eyes with Natasha knowing I’m gonna be worse when I’m hungover.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I hope y’all liked it! I kind of rushed it because I have a bunch of things lined up and this is just an extra tidbit I started before creating more lol
Taglist
@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346 @moistblobfish @justarandomreaderxoxo
#natasha romanoff#marvel#avengers#fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x reader#fanfiction#black widow#mcu
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Homewrecker | bfd!harry
best friends dad!harry x reader | forbidden relationship
Summary: The one where you and Harry finally come clean to everyone. Featuring an angry Fae, a spiteful soon-to-be ex wife, divorce terms, and lots of tears.
Word Count: 7360
Warning: 18+ only, mature content, age gap, talk of divorce, cheating, angst
Best Friend's Dad!harry Masterlist
You were tense.
And it wasn’t just that. It was that you could tell Harry was tense too. He was quiet. It made you nervous. Made you wonder if he was regretting his decision. He was loving when you’d first boarded the plane. But once it landed, he hardly looked at you. You were dropped off at your apartment by a taxi but were surprised when Harry asked the driver to wait. He helped you bring your suitcase up to your door and gave you a quick kiss before telling you he was going to have the taxi drop him off at his house so he could get his car. He told you he’d be back at your place in a couple of hours but he wouldn’t tell you where he was going. You weren’t sure he’d really come back.
You felt sick. You felt terrified you were losing him. But of course, you never deserved him in the first place. He was happily married with a great career and a beautiful daughter with a good head on her shoulders. Life was good for him. And would have been for years to come. If it hadn’t been for you. You were a homewrecker.
You didn’t have the energy to unpack your suitcase so you sat down and took a deep breath as you dared to look through all your messages and listen to the voicemails. You had envisioned checking your messages with Harry by your side, comforting you and you comforting him, but since he wasn’t there you did it alone.
The progression of anger from Fae was easy to see. She first left a voicemail and she sounded more concerned than angry at that point. She was calm.
Then it was a text. And another that could be read as mad. Then the one you read at the airport where you knew without a doubt that she was upset. And then to her last series of text messages sent Saturday morning.
Your silence is telling. So is his. I can’t believe either of you would do this. I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping this is all a mistake and that it’s a coincidence that you and my dad have gone AWOL at the same time. But if this turns out to be real, Y/n? I don’t think I could ever speak to you or my dad again. I know you’d feel the same if I did this to you.
You sat your phone down and stared at your TV that you hadn’t turned on yet. It was impossible to process what you’d just read. It was shocking. You knew it was coming but to see it in a text was jarring.
It took you a few minutes to lift your phone up and listen to your mother’s voicemail.
Hey honey. I got a call from Fae and she’s really concerned about you and… her dad? She said she needs to get a hold of you. Will you call her when you get this? Or have Harry call her?
And, Y/n, I just want to say too, that no matter what, honey. I love you. You can always reach out to me if you need help or want to talk. Your father and I won’t judge you even if it’s true. I love you. Call me after you call Fae.
Closing your eyes you lay down on your side. Your mother even knew. Fae must have called her and told her everything. It hurt. But it was deserved. You deserved the hurt and shame. You’d done some very bad things. Your mother knowing was the least of your problems. Your biggest problem was that you were a homewrecker. You’d damaged a family because you were selfish.
You hit the call button and put your phone to your ear, keeping your eyes closed.
“Y/n. I was starting to get worried. Are you okay?” Your mother’s words were rushed.
“I’m fine, Mom. I’m so sorry about this. I would have called you sooner but I was trying to avoid my phone for a couple of days.”
“What are you avoiding, Y/n? Is it true? You and Fae’s dad?”
You swallowed thickly, “Yeah. It’s true.”
The line was silent for a moment. You waited to let your mom respond when she was ready. It was a lot to hear. You understood her silence.
“Okay. Well… you know I love you, honey. I hope you know what you’re doing. You’re an adult so you get to make these decisions and I trust that you never meant to hurt anyone.”
“Of course not. I never thought,” you felt a tear slip down your cheek, “… that this would happen. It was never meant to get this far. But,” you pushed yourself up to sit, “I fell in love. And now it’s too late. And we have to face the music. And,” you sniffled as you pulled your phone out to look at the time and then put it back to your ear, “I don’t even know where Harry is right now so it all feels like it’s about to just explode on us–“
“Y/n, do you want me to come over?”
You shook your head, “No. No, that’s okay. I’m sorry. This is just so hard.”
At that moment your front door opened and you stood up to see Harry walking in.
“Mom, I’ll call you back, okay? I love you,” you hung up after your mom told you she loved you too.
You tossed your phone on the couch and stepped toward Harry quietly, unsure of how he was feeling. Unsure of how to approach.
Harry took one long stride toward you and wrapped his arms around you, crushing you into his chest. You draped your arms around his middle and just let him squeeze. You were glad he’d come back so soon. You thought he was going to be gone for at least another hour. You also thought it was possible he wouldn’t return.
He loosened his embrace and kissed the top of your head, “I didn’t like how it felt to be away from you. I just needed to go and drive. I don’t really know why. I started to panic,” he spoke quietly as you listened, “When I was dropped off at the house I got into my car and the further away I drove the further away from you I felt and I didn’t like that. I had to turn around and drive back to you.”
You tilted your head back to look up at him, “Are you having second thoughts? Do you regret this?”
Harry brought his hands up to your face and looked down at you intently, “God, baby, no. When I got into that taxi I wasn’t even really thinking. I don’t know why I did it that way, leaving like that. I just… I didn’t mean for it to seem like I needed to be away from you. I don’t want that at all.”
You nodded and it felt like relief to hear him say that. “I was worried. Thought you’d suddenly realized this was a big mistake and you couldn’t go through with it anymore.”
He rocked you softly, stepping from foot to foot to sway, “Absolutely not. It’s me and you, baby.”
“We should text them back. Let them know something. Maybe we can go to them? Tell them everything? I just want to get this over with now, Harry.” You couldn’t handle being secretive with Fae or anyone anymore. You knew this was going to happen one way or another and if you could just finally say it then maybe the worst would be over.
He sighed and let go of you, keeping your hands in his, “Okay. We’ll let them decide when it happens. But I’ll text Fae and her mother.”
You both sat in silence on your couch as you individually texted Fae. Harry texted his wife first.
You didn’t know how to word the text. But you settled on something simple.
I’m so sorry. I feel awful. I want to talk to you, though, whenever you’re ready.
Harry’s phone rang after he sent his first text and he looked at you with worry before holding the phone up to his ear.
“Hello?”
You watched him stand up and pace in silence as he listened to his wife. He ran a hand through his hair and then suddenly stopped and looked down as he closed his eyes.
“Yes. I understand.”
He looked at you and gave you a weak smile. A sad smile and you returned the expression.
“No. Look… don’t say that. She’s not. I think if we can just talk in person this will be better.”
He shook his head and scowled as he began to pace again, “I said don’t say that about her,” his voice was more urgent. Almost angry.
Your phone dinged. Fae had responded.
I’m coming over.
Your breath caught in your throat as you looked up at Harry. Your natural inclination was to tell him to leave because that had been the routine since the beginning. Hiding that he’d been with you. But now that everything was out in the open…
“Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow then... Yes. I know. I am sorry,” he looked at his screen and realized she’d hung up. “Fuck.” He spoke under his breath.
You stood up and cleared your throat, “Fae is coming over.”
Harry looked weary. He nodded and went into your kitchen and pulled down two glasses, “Water?” He asked without turning to look at you.
“Yes, please.”
You watched him fill the glasses with your water pitcher and then handed you a glass as he gulped down half of his in one go.
“We should think about how to tell her. She’ll be here soon.” You reiterated, keeping your distance. Everything felt so foreign. So strange.
Harry placed his glass down and looked at you for a moment before responding, “We’ll just tell her, Y/n. It’s not going to be good but we’ll be honest and tell her what we’ve done. It’s all we can do,” he pushed his hip from the counter and took your free hand, bringing it up to his chest, “I love you. Okay?”
You nodded, “I love you too, Harry.”
When you sat your glass down Harry bent at his knees and lifted you up to the counter and then fit himself in between your legs, putting his palms over your thighs, “I just need you with me, Y/n. Okay?”
You nodded and put your hands on Harry’s shoulders and pulled them around his neck to bring him in for a soft little kiss.
You two stayed like that until there was a knock at your door and Harry helped you down from your spot. He followed behind you as you pulled your door open to see Fae standing there. She looked behind you to her dad and then back at you. Her expression was unreadable.
“Come in.” You gestured to her and moved out of the doorway. She walked past you and her father and into your living room.
“So, it’s true. What the fuck?” She shook her head and looked between you and Harry.
“I’m so sorry this happened,” Harry spoke first. You could hear the small waver in his voice as if he were about to cry, which made you tear up instantly as you watched Fae’s face.
She sat down on the small bench near your records and looked directly at you, “I can’t believe you did this. To me and my mom? To him? Why?”
Oh shit. Here it was. You were being blamed for it all. As you should. You knew what you’d done was disgusting.
You moved to sit down on your couch, pulling your hand out of Harry’s. You needed to sit.
“I can’t believe I did it either. I don’t know why. I’m sorry!” You hiccupped as your tears fell. A pathetic girl. Harry sat next to you and you felt his warm hand on your back as you repeated that you were sorry.
“Mom didn’t deserve this,” Fae looked at her dad, “She’s been so good to us and to you. She was really blindsided by this you know? You hurt her. You cheated on her. I never would have taken you for a cheater.”
Your sniffles and harsh breaths were obnoxious. You didn’t deserve to be feeling sad for yourself. After all, you’d done all the hurting and now people were suffering because of you.
“I know, Fae. Your mother has been wonderful to us. I made a mistake and…” his hand moved up and down your back as he spoke, “I’m sorry this happened. I didn’t expect any of it. It just…” he took a breath, “It just happened and now I’m in love. We’re in love.”
Fae laughed sardonically and you looked at her. She hadn’t shed a single tear.
“Yeah right. Do you know how ridiculous you sound, Dad? In love? With her? She’s my age? What could you possibly have in common with Y/n? Do you two bond over talking about me? Because that’s your only link. Like… I don’t get it at all.”
“We just get along, Fae. Somethings can’t really be explained–“
“Oh, the fuck they can’t. You two had sex and now you think you’re in love. You’re both pathetic. Especially you, Y/n. You broke up a happy marriage because you were selfish and you outright lied to me–“
“Hey, this is my fault, Fae. I’m the one who–“
You put your hand on his knee, “No. Fae’s right. I’m pathetic. I’m a homewrecker. I deserve all of the blame.”
Fae stood up, “Oh the martyr. I see… Yes… Will it make you feel better to know how much I really hate you? Is that what you want? Well,” she laughed, “I’m not giving you that satisfaction. Oh no…” she paced in front of your coffee table as she looked from her father to you, “The part that hurts so much, and the part that I hope you take with you and that eats at you and keeps you up at night is that hating you hurts me. You were my best friend. You and I have done everything together. I trusted you and loved you like you were my sister. When my mom told me what she found out I told her it couldn’t be true. That you would never. I gave you a chance to come clean to me but you lied to my face. I won’t ever forgive you but that doesn’t mean that feels good. It hurts to hate you. You betrayed me.”
You sat in silence. In shame.
Fae pointed at Harry, “And you. You let this happen. Mom is broken. She’s absolutely torn up over this. You blindsided us both and you’re no longer my father.”
“Please, don’t say that Fae, I love you,” Harry stood up.
“Don’t come near me. I don’t want your apologies or your tears. I’m not giving you the chance to make amends or say your peace. I don’t want it,” she scoffed and looked up toward the ceiling to pull her tears back into her eyes. “Mom said this didn’t mean you were abandoning me. That you still love me,” she looked at him and stopped pacing, “I don’t care if you choose her or whatever,” she gestured toward you, “I don’t even want you as my father anymore. You make me sick. What you did is unforgivable. Even if you did leave her and beg me for another chance to be in my life I don’t want it. My life is better without you now that I know who you are.”
Harry sat down and put his head in his hands and began to cry. You could see his shoulders shaking as he let out a strangled sob.
She looked away from Harry and took a breath. You could see she was acting tough. You knew her well. You imagined that the moment she walked out of your apartment she’d finally allow herself to cry.
“You both deserve each other. I hope you have a miserable life together. Actually…” she looked at you, “I take that back. I hope he cheats on you and breaks your heart the way you broke mine. I hope that all this was a waste for both of you. That you don’t even wind up together in the end. Because that’s what you’re hoping for, isn’t it?”
Her glower was intense. Scary.
You opened your mouth, “Fae, I’m–“
“I don’t fucking want to hear it, Y/n. I just wanted to come over here so I could tell you in person how I feel about you,” she laughed and looked at Harry who was still trying to reign in his tears, “I actually didn’t think you’d be here. But I guess this makes it easier. So I only have to do this once.”
She picked up her purse and carried herself quickly to your door but you ran after her just as she stepped outside, “Fae, please! I never wanted to hurt anyone!”
She turned to look at you, tears glazing her eyes, “I know you didn’t. But you did anyway, and it was selfish. Just wait for your turn. He’ll find someone younger in a few years and you’ll be all alone.”
When she walked away you felt Harry’s hand on your shoulder and then his chest pressed to your back as he pulled you into him. You both watched until Fae was out of sight and wondered if that would be it. Wondered if she’d ever come around or if maybe she was right.
He was warm against you. Comforting. “Baby you know she’s just speaking out of anger because she’s hurt. I’m not leaving you. That’s never gonna happen.”
You swallowed and nodded as he spoke quietly into your ear. Surely she was speaking out of anger to hurt you because she was hurt. You could see that. And that was deserved. You should hurt. But part of what she said did strike something in you. Because he’d left his own wife for you. For someone younger. And he probably never imagined he’d cheat on his wife just like at that moment you figured he never imagined he’d leave you either.
“You believe me, right, Y/n?”
You nodded shallowly.
Harry let out a deep breath as he pulled you gently back inside your apartment and turned you to face himself. His eyes were red and his face was splotchy from crying, “Look at me,” he cupped your face softly, “I’m mad for you. I swear on everything,” he ran his thumb under your right eye where a new tear fell, “I’ll never leave you. I love you. This is different, Y/n. God, I never want you to feel that way.”
It wasn’t like you wanted to leave him so you wouldn’t and if he broke your heart eventually, well you also deserved that. Especially after everything you’d done to Fae and her mother…
Harry’s nose touched yours, “Please, Y/n. I can tell you’re upset about what she said. I need to know you trust me and that we’re okay.”
You lifted your arms to wrap around his middle and looked at him, “Whatever happens I’m not going anywhere. I just…” you blinked and grasped the material of his shirt tight, “I fucked up big time. We did. I wasn’t prepared to hear her say any of that. I knew she’d be upset. I feel like this is what I deserve. None of this is okay.”
Harry cradled the back of your head and pressed his forehead into yours gently, “I fucked up, Y/n. I did that. I know what’s been done isn’t good… but you and I can be okay. Being with you is like nothing I’ve ever had. I’ll do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you and how much I want you every day if you need it.”
You tilted your head back and moved to kiss him, pushing your lips against his. You didn’t want him feeling like he’d lost you too. You just needed to sort out your thoughts and it was hard to verbalize everything in that moment.
Harry and Fae’s mother had planned to meet at their house in the morning. He was already making a list of things he’d be packing and bringing to your apartment, knowing she’d be taking the house, “Are you sure it’s okay if I bring all this? I can get a storage unit or something.”
You stood behind him and looked down at his laptop screen. He was sitting at your small kitchen table as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “It’s fine, Harry. We’ll figure out everything later. We should get some sleep. It’ll be an early morning and we want to go in with clear minds.” Harry turned to look at you as he placed a hand over your forearm, “Baby, I really think it should just be me there. I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”
You moved and pulled a chair up next to him so you could look at him directly, “I really think I should be there with you. At least for support, Harry. I’m an adult. I can handle it. I don’t want you having to do it alone.”
He shook his head and took your hands in his, “Y/n, it’s going to go a whole lot better if you’re not there. She’s not going to want to see you. That’ll just make her angrier. I’m asking you to please stay here while I sort out everything with her.”
Harry had told you right at the beginning that he was going but you insisted you wanted to be there too. To face his wife and be his support.
“Harry…” you said his name in a plea.
He dipped in and kissed you, “I love you so much. But I need to do this part by myself. Okay? I love that you want to help and be there with me and you don’t know how much that means to me. But this is different. I can’t bring you with me for this. You can be my comfort and support when I get back afterward.”
You figured you didn’t have much of a choice. But you hated to have Harry go it alone. If you thought dealing with Fae was devastating, you couldn’t imagine the scene with her mother. The woman whose heart he broke. Who he cheated on.
Harry held you close that night as you softly caressed his chest and kissed his shoulders and pecs. Sleep didn’t really find either of you for long enough to feel like you’d rested. You had bursts of shut-eye but then were woken up with a panicky feeling. And it was the same for Harry. But being together and feeling the warmth of one another felt a lot better than waking up alone.
And you both were wide awake at 5 am, cuddled together under your blankets, limbs tangled.
“Are you awake?” You whispered as softly as possible. You assumed he was because of his breathing pattern and the way he shifted every now and then.
“I am. Are you okay, baby?” He scooted in closer and pulled you into his chest so you were practically laying on him.
You couldn’t see his face in the dark but you smiled at how he always seemed to need you close.
“I’m okay. I’m here with you so I’m okay.” You laid your head against his chest and he cradled the back of your head. You could feel the slow rhythm of his heart.
“Want some coffee? Thinking of getting up to make some. Not sure I can sleep. Have to be up in an hour anyway.”
Coffee at 5:15 am was not your thing but for Harry, you’d do it. And it was also going to be impossible for you to sleep as well. You were full of nerves and wondering what was next.
You had to work that afternoon, unfortunately. You wanted to call off but you were worried about losing your job. You took Saturday off when you were scheduled to work and doing it again on Monday would be risking too much.
“So what? If you lose your job you can look for something else. Maybe there’s a good job in advertising or marketing or something. Use your degree, Y/n. I can take care of you until you find something.”
You shook your head, “You don’t think I’ve been looking? For a year I’ve been putting in resumes and the only few spots that would even consider me without any experience wouldn’t pay as well as the tips I make at the restaurant. It’s hard to transition from making really good tips to a salaried job that pays less where I might work more hours.”
“I know you’ve been looking, baby. I’m not saying you haven’t. I’m just saying I’ll take care of you until you find something perfect.”
“I don’t want to have you taking care of me, though. That’s not fair. We’ve already been through a lot. And just imagine what everyone would think… If I quit my job after everyone finds out we’ve been having an affair and you pay all my bills... I’ll not only be a homewrecker I’ll be a gold digger or something. One awful scorn on me is quite enough,” you chuckled. But it wasn’t actually funny. You tried to find humor in the situation but the reality of it was awful.
“We can’t help what people will think of us but we’ll talk about all this later. I don’t want you to worry. Okay?”
“You think you’ll be back before I need to leave for work?” You ran your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. It was getting long and his curls were just begging to be touched.
Harry nodded, “I think so. I hope so. If not, I’ll be here waiting for you when you get off. I’ve got some stuff to do at the office today as well but shouldn’t take long. And I’ve got your key,” he grinned at you.
Harry left after giving you a smoldering kiss. You two hadn’t been intimate since the morning before when you left Quebec and when he grabbed you and spun you around to kiss you goodbye you pulled him in by his collar to keep his mouth against yours, then he had his arms around your back and you both had to force yourselves apart so he could go.
And on any normal day, you’d climb back into bed to sleep for a few more hours. But you knew you couldn’t sleep. So, you had to find something to keep you occupied while Harry told his wife everything.
. . .
When Harry pulled into the driveway his wife’s car was there already. He took a few deep breaths. He knew it was not going to be pretty.
The house smelled of coffee when he opened the door. It almost felt comforting. Familiar. Except that the circumstances were anything but.
He called to his wife as he sat his briefcase down on the couch and moved into the kitchen where he found her on her cell phone speaking to someone. She glanced at him and turned her back.
Harry noticed right away that she looked sad. Her face was puffy and her skin looked sallow.
The pot of coffee was full but he couldn’t even think of putting anything else into his stomach at that moment. The acid in the coffee was already making him feel a bit unwell. Not just the acid. But he felt unwell for what was about to come.
He sat at the kitchen table and silently inhaled again.
“Well, he’s here now, so I’ll let you go. I’ll call you later, okay?” He heard only the last part of her conversation as she hung up and kept her back to him. He watched her look out the window over the sink into their backyard in silence.
“I think you should start, Harry. Start with how long you’ve been seeing her. How it happened,” she turned to look at him but stayed near the counter.
He nodded and looked down at his hands, “6 months, give or take.” He looked up at her and her fierce gaze could have sliced him in half.
She waved her hand, “Go on. Let’s get it out.”
He swallowed, “I don’t know why I did it. I was happy. Really, I was. I… she and I got close and then I went to her place and that’s how it started.”
“So you instigated?”
Nodding his head he looked at his wife, “I did. I knew she had a crush on me and I fed into it.”
She nodded and walked toward him to sit at the table across from him.
“And it wasn’t supposed to go that far. But I’ve found myself falling for her.”
The laugh from his wife was unexpected. Harry watched as she shook her head in disbelief, “You’ve fallen for her? Y/n? Who is the same age as your daughter? Oh, I bet that’s an interesting dynamic. Does she know you fucked me while you were fucking her?”
He clenched his jaw and felt like he’d throw up, “We didn’t really talk about that much at the beginning. I’m sure she knows.”
“Caressa told me she saw you drop her off. Y/n, the stupid thing, told her you were her boyfriend.”
“Hey. Stop. Don’t do that. Don’t call her stupid. She’s no–“
“What? You don’t like it when women are being a little immature? You are dating a woman half your age for Christ’s sake. Seems like something you’d be into.”
Harry folded his lips into his mouth to keep himself quiet. He’d have to deal with her being a little petty. She had every right to lash out.
“Anyway, I was quite shocked to learn of it. And at first, we thought there was no way. Caressa might have seen someone else that looked like you with a car like yours. But then… too many coincidences, you know? Plus I’d already suspected you were cheating.”
“I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Why? Why would you do this to us? Was it that bad?”
Harry shook his head and reached for his wife’s hand but she pulled away before he could touch her, “No. Of course not. You’ve been incredible. I got selfish and fucked up. And then I got in too deep.” He moved his hand back into his lap.
She nodded, “You did fuck up. That’s true. How many other women have you cheated on me with?”
Harry was taken aback, “None! Oh my god, no. I never… this is the only time.”
“I see. And of all people, it had to be her? Fae’s best friend, Harry?”
“I know. It’s so messy.”
“Have you had a thing for her since she was a teenager?”
He shook his head, “No. Fae’s 22nd birthday was the first time I really found her attractive.”
She looked to the corner of the room as she sipped her coffee and then pinned her eyes back on Harry, “So for 2 1/2, nearly 3 years you’ve been lusting after Fae’s best friend?”
“No. I found her attractive… but never…” he took a breath, “No it was only recent.”
That was a lie. He had actually been lusting after you for that length of time. Of course, the feelings grew as you got closer and spent time together alone. When you would visit him and you’d chat and have lengthy hugs in private… even though the actual affair had only been for 6 months, you both had been dancing around your feelings for much longer. But he didn’t want his wife to know that. Didn’t feel that was necessary information.
“My terms for the divorce are simple. I’ll keep the house but you’ll pay the mortgage and insurance, and repairs that might come up. Once the house is paid off it’ll be in my name and I’ll be able to sell it or keep it, my choice. I’ll keep my car, which you’ll also pay the insurance for, and I’ll be asking for 50% of your salary as alimony. I also expect 50% of any of your bonuses. You’ll pay for my health insurance and cover anything I need above the copay. Dental too,” she took another sip of her coffee as she kept her eyes on Harry, “You’ll cover my cellphone, internet… basically all of my bills like you do currently. I am not going to suffer and live a more difficult lifestyle because you and Y/n want to fuck around and play pretend. Understood?”
Harry nodded. He knew he’d be giving a lot to his wife.
“Our shared brokerage, savings, and retirement will be 100% mine–“
Harry put his hand up, “Now, wait. Hold on. I can give you most of it but not all. Come on. Be reasonable.”
She shook her head, “The moment you stuck your prick in someone else was the moment I lost my ability to be reasonable with you. It’s mine. And I guarantee that the judge will agree once we get to the nitty-gritty. I’ve looked into it. You’ve cheated on me and I’ve been a supportive wife who also contributed to our savings and retirement during all the years I worked.”
His brokerage account was worth millions. And while his wife had contributed to savings and retirement years ago when she was still working, all the money and earnings from the brokerage were his own. He put that money there, not her.
“I don’t think that’s fair. You didn’t put a dime into the brokerage account. I’ll give you all of our savings, half the retirement, and half of the brokerage. That’s more than enough for you for the rest of your life. Not to mention half my salary and bonuses, the house…”
“I don’t care what’s fair. And yeah, I could live a very comfortable life on half the brokerage and retirement alone but I don’t want you to live a comfortable life, see? I’m not here to make things comfortable for anyone but me and my daughter. You and Y/n can go to hell.”
Harry bit his tongue and looked down at the table. He would need to get a lawyer. 50% of everything plus extras was fine. But all of the brokerage and retirement?
“Well, we’ll figure out terms with lawyers present,” he looked at her as he spoke. It was the first time he’d felt so angry with her ever. And even if she was justified, it still felt unfair.
She laughed, “Yes, we will. In fact, I’m meeting with mine this afternoon to get all the paperwork ready for you to sign. Divorce papers are in the works. And since I’m the one filing first I get dibs. You’ll see.”
Harry stood up from the table and paced the kitchen slowly. He knew this would kill him financially but he somehow just didn’t expect she’d want all of his brokerage. That was his nest egg he’d been adding to since before he ever met his wife. It was his. He’d fight for that one.
“What time this afternoon?” He looked at her.
“2 pm. You aren’t invited. You’ll be all caught up with everything once we get the paperwork drafted. My lawyer will send everything to yours. Oh, which, by the way, you should send me your lawyer’s contact info.”
He didn’t have a lawyer at that moment, which in hindsight was dumb of him. He should have been more prepared for all of this. A lawyer was just more money down the drain. He’d be paying his own plus hers, he was sure of it.
“Fuck,” he spoke under his breath and ran his hands over his face.
Harry packed his things into his car and gathered items he planned to take with him. Of course, his wife watched everything he took and told him what he could and couldn’t take.
“But this was a gift from Fae. Let me at least have this,” he pleaded. It was a framed photo of Fae and Harry. The frame was homemade from Fae for Father’s Day when she was 11. He kept it in his office for all the years he had it.
“Fae doesn’t want you to have that. Leave it here.”
“You didn’t even know it was there. You probably forgot that it even existed. Come on, don’t do this.”
She didn’t budge.
Harry had expected the conversation with his wife to be much different. He thought there would be a lot of tears and apologies and that she would scream at him and throw a fit but she was calm and prepared. She was cold and uncaring, though she did throw an insult or two. He could tell she was upset and that she had been crying before he arrived but she did not act the way he thought she would.
It all took much longer than he hoped. You had already been at work by the time he dropped his things off at your apartment. His apartment now too. He told you he’d be paying his part and wanted to get on the lease. But he planned on paying the rent in full. He didn’t want to be a burden to you.
And before he went by his office at work he stopped at the restaurant to see you. He knew it might be a bad idea but he needed to see you. Just to look at you and tell you he loved you and make sure you were okay. He felt bad that he hadn’t come back before you’d left.
Caressa saw him first as he walked in and the hostess greeted him.
“Oh, Harry. How nice to see you,” she crossed her arms as she walked up to him, “I’m guessing you’re here to see your girlfriend?”
“Hi, Caressa. Uh, just here to see Y/n. I wanted to tell her something really quick. I won’t keep her long.” He felt himself flush in embarrassment. He wasn’t particularly close to Caressa but he’d known her for years. She and her husband were part of his friend group. Were. He was certain they wouldn’t be interested in hanging out with him again.
“Sure. She’s busy right now but have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here.”
He waited for fifteen minutes before getting up and peeking into the dining room. He half doubted that Caressa told you he was there. She probably wanted to make a point or something.
When he spotted you walking away from a table he stepped in and called your name quietly.
You turned and your eyes widened in surprise but you smiled and mouthed “I’ll be right back.”
You hadn’t expected to see him show up at your work but the relief that washed over you was immense. You were so worried about Harry and wondered how the talk had gone with Fae’s mother. Hoped nothing had changed between you and him.
You quickly made your way to the front where Harry was and grabbed his hand into yours, “How did it go?”
He sighed and you could see it hadn’t been a good conversation just by his expression, “I’ll tell you later. But, she knows. Everyone knows now. She’s getting divorce paperwork ready,” he squeezed your hand, “I just wanted to see your face. Needed to see you.”
You smiled and quickly kissed his lips, “I’m glad you came in. I was really worried.”
“You don’t need to worry, baby. Ever. Okay? I love you. I just… couldn’t breathe until I saw you.”
That was all you needed. His reassurance. The rest of your shift felt lighter. You were still burdened by the reality and the heaviness of everything but at least he came to see you. At least he needed it as much as you did.
When you got home later Harry was there. He was only wearing his grey sweatpants and he was in the kitchen cooking something.
You placed your purse on the kitchen table and he turned around and sat the wooden spoon on the counter before he met you in the middle of the kitchen to bring you in for a hug.
He said nothing. He just held you for a moment and it felt regenerative to be in his arms. You melted a tiny bit into him and suddenly, without even meaning for it to happen you began to cry.
“Oh, honey…” he whispered as he pulled you into your living room to your couch. You sat down with him and he kept his arms around you.
You couldn’t stop the tears. You couldn’t really think much about your situation while you were at work or you’d have cried in front of your customers. And you definitely didn’t want Caressa to see you in tears. She knew too much already.
“Sorry,” you squeaked out your words against Harry’s chest. You loved that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and that your cheek was smushed into his skin.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay to cry. I’m here.”
Harry kissed the top of your head and spoke quietly, “Everything’s going to be okay.”
When you’d finally caught your breath and looked up at him, he smiled softly at your face with tear-stained cheeks, “Thank you for stopping in at work today. That made everything feel so much better.”
Harry took in your red puffy eyes and the way your lip quivered the slightest and sighed as he wiped your tears, “I needed to see you. I’m glad it made you feel better. How was your shift?”
You told him about work and how Caressa hardly spoke to you. Then you discovered that when Harry arrived she hadn’t told you that he was there when he asked her to, “Guess I’m not surprised. She probably hates us both. And what are you making? Smells really good.”
“Just veggie soup and I’ve got some biscuits cooling. Stove’s off so it can sit a bit. It’ll be fine.”
You looked around your living room and it was the first time you noticed the new big-screen TV that had replaced yours, as well as a plant in the corner that hadn’t been there, “So now we live together, huh?” You smiled finally, to Harry’s relief.
“If you still want me here then yes.”
You laughed and leaned back into him, hugging his middle, “Of course I want you here. Need you here.”
Harry put his arms around you, “S’what I wanted to hear. Need to be with you. No matter what that looks like.”
You looked up at him and his curls that were starting to get long and the bit of scruff on his face with his bright eyes and pink lips and you felt like you were lucky to have him. It wasn’t going to be easy to not have Fae in your life. And you would have to deal with the judgment that was to come, but at least you had him. At least you had each other.
“What?” Harry asked as your eyes wandered over his features.
“I just feel grateful that you’re here with me.”
Harry tilted his head to the side as he rubbed your arms up and down, his eyes on yours, “I’m grateful you want me here, Y/n.”
As shitty as everything was and the awful reality that was caging you in and carving the words homewrecker onto your forehead, you felt it in your heart that he was the love of your life. No one else could ever understand it. But Harry did. And you did. And that was all that mattered in that moment.
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Gojo Hearing “I Love You” for the First Time
I gen. have no clue if anywhere in the series anybody has said they loved gojo. Whether platonic or not. Its interesting and I was just thinking.
CW: Mentions of Gojo’s Past(some canon some not…so spoilers ig if you haven’t read the inventory arc), Established Relationship, Mentioned Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Some Angst(?), Soft Gojo, Reader speaks Spanish because I’m projecting 😋, Kisses
Blk!Fem Reader in Mind
“AND THAT’S WHY I DO NOT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES!..IT WAS VOMIT EVERYWHERE!”
“Can’t believe you managed to eat 6 boxes of cookies in one sitting.”
“Hey! Don’t judge it was a marathon of Digimon playing all day…good times. Not as good as the time—“
And there he goes again, your big over 6’6” boyfriend laying on his back on the couch having another yap fest after a long trip. It started off with a quiet evening of you both eating and watching a childhood movie to then actually sharing stories of your past.
You really couldn’t be more enamored by how excited Satoru gets when he speaks to you. His smile is wide from ear to ear and his dimples grow deeper. He’s also so expressive with his hand gestures you really don’t know where to look as you lay comfortable on his big broad chest.
Usually when he begins to speak about his life before you, you try to absorb and savor every moment. Since your friendship in high school Gojo wasn’t much of a talker (ironically) about his life, but as you both grown closer since his big mission with Geto to watch over Riko he managed to get a bit more comfortable with telling you more about himself.
It’s been 11 years since then and after some therapy sessions with you, Geto, and Gojo three of you managed to learn how to express yourselves in a healthier way with each other.
You watch now, almost 1 year into your official relationship with him and noticed he doesn’t talk much about his parents. Nor an adult in his life that was like a parent to him at the very least. Even when in High School you never met his family. You knew of his clan and that was all.
You always wondered where did he get his wild energy from? His dad? Where did he become so affectionate through touch? His mom? It was all a mystery you wanted to understand.
You’ve even asked Geto, his closest best friend what does he know about his mom and dad, but he always ends with “It’s better you wait until he tells you himself.”
You didn’t question it more, you respected the decision so thats exactly why you’re here. Watching and listening attentively to what your boyfriend has to say. It makes you happy seeing how much he has grown more comfortable towards you towards the years.
“And when I was 8 I remember my folks always gave me free range to use my technique whenever to practice, but boy they regretted after an hour because I—-baby.”
Without noticing your eyes blinked back at him as if you began to come back to reality again, Gojo seen the relaxed look you given him as he spoke, how your eyes were on his, but he just knew you—
“‘ not even listeninggguhhhh.”
Putting your thumbs on his pouty bottom lip, they’re so soft you smile at him, it wasn’t really something you’d expect to say to him, but his pretty big smile, his deepened dimples, everything about him caught you in a moment of venerability you just decided to softly speak at him;
“I love you.”
…just like that it was a pause.
It just slipped off the tongue. You meant it, but finally saying it out loud was a bit of a shock to not just you, but more Satoru. He had an unreadable look on his face, almost as if he didn’t catch what you said, but he definitely did. He couldn’t miss the way his body tensed up hearing those three words.
“What?”
Gojo didn’t say anything, almost as if it was a staring contest you rise from his chest to straddle him, “Are you okay?”
You jumped feeling the pads of his thumb dig into the fattiness of your hips, almost as if he were trying to massage you….very painfully. He got up though, placing you down on the couch and walking to the nearest bathroom without saying a word or looking at you. You could’ve sworn he wiped his face momentarily.
“Go—?”
He didn’t mean to, it was almost a reflex. Your words though, kept replaying in his head . He felt a bit silly being so dramatic , ironically but he couldn’t properly process what you said.
“Satoru?” You knock on the door breaking him away from his thoughts, “You okay, papa? I—oh.”
He opened the door, putting back on his eye mask and giving you one of the fakest smiles you ever seen him do.
“What are you doing, you okay?”
“yeah yeah I’m fineeeee. Let’s go get something to eat.”
“W-wait!” You playfully scoff at his eagerness as he pulls you to the front door, “I’m sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable….I know it was sudden and random, but I meant it.”
Gojo turns and exhales, clearing his throat he begins to scratch the back of his head, you can tell he is scrambling for words so you continue; “I do love you Satoru. A lot. I think I always have since we were younger, but I don’t know…today made me realize I should verbalize it.”
He wants to speak, but for one of the first times you left him wanting to just listen to you. Honestly you took advantage of it because who knows when you’ll be able to get him this quiet.
“I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love the way you explain things, I love the way you are, I love the way you care, I love how you can get on my nerves.” You ends the last part with a giggle making him finally chuckle with you, and he brings you closer to his chest. “I love you, Satoru. You are an amazing person and I am very blessed to have you as not only a friend but a partner.”
It was all too much, he felt overwhelmed he had to lift his mask to wipe the tears welling on the side of his eyes, he chuckles again, the free hand on your waist tightening, “Well damn if I didn’t know better I’d think you have a crush on me.”
You laugh, “Maybeeee…..Now. “ You smooch his cheek before grabbing your phone, “Let’s go get some food—-“
You tried walking past him towards the door but he grabs you from behind to hug you close, you can hear his shallow breaths in your ear. You’re used to his tight squeezes from behind but this one was firm. Almost as if he let you go you’ll fly away.
“Say it again.”
You smirk, his voice quivering but trying to be masked by a fake pouting tone, “I love you, Satoru.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“Again, but in Spanish.”
“Oh brother.”
“C’mon you sound hot when speaking Spanish.”
“Te amaré para siempre, Satoru…”
If words could explain how he felt right now with you, the closest would be a weight being lifted off his shoulders. For a moment he no longer was Gojo the strongest sorcerer, he was Satoru.
Just Satoru.
Something he wanted to be for a long time, and now you are helping him take the first step into that.
You inhale his scent; mint, expensive cologne and his natural musky smell you love so much and rub his head as he is still buried in your neck. You turn to face him and grab his cheeks, almost hesitantly to cup them because you weren’t sure if he’d left you see him cry. Though you felt your shoulder dampen.
However he let you, his big blue eyes surrounded by a tint of pink, he tried laughing it off and he actually broke eyes contact with you, “I …um…heh..fuck—“
You knew what he was trying to say but you don’t force him, instead you place your lips on his, you felt him exhale, his body relaxing in your touch, “I know, Satoru. I know.”
Gojo couldn’t properly register why he was so overwhelmed with whatever he is feeling right now but he wouldn’t trade this feeling in the world. He honestly wanted to replay the moment you said you loved him on repeat all day.
Later that day you both go out and have your own last minute date for the evening, he wanted so badly to tell you he loves you back by trying to incorporate more of the word “love “ in his vocabulary, by saying things like “I know you LOVE this.” Or “Wouldnt you LOVE for me to take you here.” but it was hard and he sounded silly.
Satoru wanted so badly to tell you he doesn’t just love you, but he has fallen IN love with you.
Gojo finally found just one more person that gave him something he didn’t realize he needed;
To feel human.
#TimikosGojo#black reader#gojo#gojo satoru#jjk#jjk gojo#jjk headcanons#jujutsu gojo#gojo x black reader#gojo x black y/n#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#gojo saturo#gojo x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x black reader#jjk x black y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff
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Hello hello, sorry to barge in suddenly
I love ur content XD especially the family themed with Lilia. #1 Bat dad got me weak in the knees.
I do love to think that Lilia would be OBSESSED with his pregnant wife and unborn child, literally glued to his wife since he found out that she got pregnant and even when the child is born? Man won't let you alone.
What do you think? I love me some family fluff content with this bat dad
Hello Anonie 💞💚💙
Thank you so much 💞☺️ I’m happy that you like my posts. You don’t have to apologize Anonie, I enjoy getting asks.
Lilia with his family is an absolute fave of mine to write about. Him with babies?? *shakes you* my favorite kind of tea.
I was reading a manhwa and remembered this ask because there was this moment that a husband went through for his wife that had me going “Yes! Lilia would have that!!” 😆😎
✨sympathy pregnancy✨ it’s when the expecting partner (and in some rare cases, very close friends) experience the symptoms and behaviors of expectant mothers.
You know I’m just going to take this idea and run with it 🤣🫶
The day you and Lilia find out you’re pregnant is one of joy. It’s not a shock to anyone really. The way he’s practically by your side when he’s not with his boys, Lilia doesn’t hide the fact that he adores you.
He really doesn’t. In fact, Maleficia, herself, was waiting for the day she’d receive a letter about your pregnancy from Malleus. Everyone knew.
It was a good idea that Lilia spent some nights in your dorm.
When you start showing signs of fatigue and nausea, you visit a healer with Lilia by your side. Where you born receive the news. Both of you are over the moon, but Lilia looks ready to actually jump as high as the moon.
Your pregnancy comes with a few hiccups. Nausea in the morning. Fatigue. Appetite changes. Aches. It wasn’t easy for you once your pregnancy symptoms kicked in.
Throughout all this, Lilia was by your side. Helping you the best he could. If he wasn’t by your side, one of the boys was.
After a hard day of symptoms, of which Mrs. Zigvolt stated was normal for someone having a half fae and half human baby, Lilia couldn’t help but feel guilty. You’re human after all, it would be harder for you to deal with this baby. He wished he could help you.
The next few days, surprisingly, you felt better? You could eat more. Your body aches lowered and your fatigue practically disappeared.
But you noticed Lilia…seemed a little off. He tried to hide it but you knew his tics by now. When he suddenly got nauseous one day, you asked Malleus to call the healer.
The healer merely announced Lilia suffering from sympathy pregnancy. Rare amongst human and fae kind, but not unheard of. Eventually, it would pass.
You felt bad for Lilia but his boys on the other had:
“The dedication Lord Lilia serves is an example for us all!”
“Father will need medication to handle his symptoms.”
“How supportive you are, Lilia. Maybe I should ask the royal scriptors to write about your romantic tales.”
You knew If he wasn’t so nauseated, Lilia would be berating them.
Even after the revelation, Lilia was determined to stay by your side. Content that you were feeling well and full of energy.
He became the talk of town, but nothing he didn’t handle with pride and quips.
As time went on, the symptoms mellowed out. Soon, a new member of the family joined. Healthy and already loved more than the number of stars in the sky.
This kind of got away from me lol 😆 it’s been awhile since I’ve been this chaotic with an ask, especially for Lilia, so I hope you enjoyed. 🫶💞
You could probably see where I ran out of steam lol
The manhwa that inspired this is “I Failed to Divorce my Husband.”
#lilia vanrouge#answered#anonie ask#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x you#twst lilia#twst lilia vanrouge x reader#diasomnia
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i don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but could you guys imagine college!ellie taking roommate!reader home to jackson because she’d be alone for the holiday? short lil oneshot to get back into the groove of writing. do i hate this? yes.
recommended songs: alabama haint — penny and sparrow + what once was — her’s
warnings: language, a few brief mentions of family issues, suggestive content (kissing among other things) + mild sexual content, a lil misunderstanding and angst bc who am i if i don’t ??, CONFESSIONS because i’m a sloot for them. i think that’s it? not proofread ofc heh
it’s the weekend before thanksgiving, sunday to be exact, and ellie’s packing her backpack for joel’s. the energy in the the room’s a little off despite the fact that you’re normally reserved, and even though the two of you have only met this year, ellie’s learned to read you pretty well.
“you goin’ home for thanksgiving?” ellie asks absently, trying to make small talk as she rolls a sleep shirt and some pajamas haphazardly to stuff at the top of her bag.
there’s a pause that makes her brain itch before she sees the way you shake your head from where you’re hunched over a textbook at your desk.
“my family’s all over the place right now,” you answer honestly.
and ellie doesn’t know if you mean that figuratively or literally, but the lack of emotion in your voice tells her that maybe she shouldn’t pry. she can’t help it, though. because you’re her sweet and quiet roommate who’d been serious (and maybe a little scary) at first, but turned out to be a goofball with a little bit of prodding.
so seeing you like this, checked out and maybe a little stressed, ellie treads cautiously.
“so you’re gonna stay here?” she asks.
you don’t even spare her a glance.
“yeah.” your shoulders shrug. “no point in dropping so much money for a plane ticket if i’m going to be sitting home alone anyways.”
ellie makes a noise in the back of her throat and you throw look over your shoulder.
“sorry,” you offer softly, smile sheepish. “that was a little depressing.”
ellie shakes her head.
“no, i get it,” she assures you. “my family’s not really...”
you blink at her as she trails off.
“conventional? i guess?”
another quiet blankets the two of you and ellie’s speaking before she can even filter through the repercussions of her next words.
“you’re always welcome to...y’know...come with,” she says, scratching the back of her neck. “it’s not even a two hour drive.”
you hope ellie can’t tell that your cheeks are burning.
“you don’t have to, of course,” ellie blabbers. “but joel’s cool, so’s my uncle and his wife. it’d be nice, i think. and jackson’s pretty fun around this time of year...”
“i don’t wanna imp—”
ellie breathes a laugh.
“don’t,” she warns you, tips of her ears burning. “you’re more than welcome, seriously.”
it’s how you end up in the passenger seat of ellie’s old 4runner, heater on blast while sublime plays on the radio.
the car ride had consisted of ellie munching on cold fries the two of you had picked up from mcdonald’s before the interstate and you finally opening up about how your parents are divorced and how the holidays are a lot more stressful than they are pleasant.
ellie really feels for you, definitely knows the feeling losing her mom at a pretty young age and being adopted in middle school by a single, bereaved father. she tells you that they’d found each other when they needed the other the most.
and you don’t particularly know why you’re so nervous when ellie finally takes the exit off the interstate and you guys make your way through the suburbs. perhaps it’s the domesticity of meeting her family, or that you’re over a hundred miles away from familiarity, but your fingers are trembling when she turns into the neighbourhood and cozy brick homes line the frost-laden streets.
she’s pulling up and parking on the curb in front of a warm two-story that has a blue pickup truck and a gold SUV in the driveway when she notices.
“hey, hey,” she whispers, noticing the way you’re wringing your hands to stop the shaking. “you okay?”
her hands are warm when they close over yours and her thumbs is brushing over your skin soothingly.
“i’m being dumb,” you admit.
ellie’s eyes are crystal clear under the setting sun.
“don’t say that,” she says softly. “you wanna take a second?”
you swallow and shake your head.
“no, we can go,” you assure her.
she’s searching your face for any tell, but when you offer her a soft smile, she’s leaning back in her seat and nodding. before she completely pulls away, you’re stopping her.
“thanks, ellie,” you say gently. “this was really kind of you.”
she flashes you an easy smile, squeezes your hand a final time before climbing out of the car and rounding the front to help you out.
and truthfully, you realize you were nervous for nothing. because when the door swings open to reveal an older man aged with smile lines and greying hair, ellie seemingly softens infinitely.
“hey, kiddo,” he greets, crushing her in a hug so tight, she’s spluttering out a laugh.
“joel, i can’t breathe,” she wheezes.
you’re standing there awkwardly, backpack slung over your shoulder when joel finally loosens his hold on ellie and glances over her head.
“who’s this?” he asks, but the smile he wears is knowing.
“________, my roommate,” she introduces quickly, cheeks warming an awful shade of red as she begs every force above that joel won’t blow her cover.
because, okay, maybe ellie’s talked about you on the phone way more times than she’d care to admit out loud. talked about how intimidating you were at first, then graduated to talking about how you were actually so cool. and maybe she’d brought up the fact that she thought you were pretty. like...super pretty. and that maybe she was crushing a teensy bit.
“nice to meet you,” joel replies simply, sparing ellie this time around.
you let go of the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding onto, offering a smile that makes ellie wonder if she’ll survive the week with you in such a new proximity.
“nice to meet you, too,” you almost whisper, relaxing as he reaches for the backpack slung over your shoulder.
“here, let me take this for you,” he says.
and it doesn’t take you long to realize where ellie gets it from. her kind spirit and fierce yet gentle heart. joel is soft-spoken, a little rough around the edges, but a warm energy that radiates through the home he’s made for himself and ellie.
it makes infinitely more sense enter tommy and maria, her uncle and aunt who tell you the silliest stories about the starry-eyed girl in her youth over dinner. who bring out her boisterous laughter when they sing old 80’s music over dishes and evening TV.
“your family’s so cool,” you say in awe, wrapped in one of her coats she’d dug out of the closet under the stairs.
you’re nursing a mug of hot chocolate that steams in the icy air of jackson on her back porch.
ellie breathes out a little laugh.
“they’re something,” she jokes, watching you over the rim of her mug.
you make her heart thud hard in her chest as she takes you in, bundled in pieces of her that make her think that she wouldn’t mind making you hers.
“i miss times like these,” you whisper.
ellie shifts closer, catching you by surprise when her thumb swipes over the curve of your top lip.
“sorry,” she hums quietly. “you had...uh...”
you let out a hollow laugh and shake your head, tell her that it’s fine as a silence blankets the two of you.
“i’m glad you like them,” ellie admits softly. “sometimes i get a little self-conscious because, y’know, everyone expects a nuclear family and...”
“i’d take this any day,” you assure her, and the true implication of your words is latent, but something hopeful pricks her tummy.
i’d take this any day...with you.
and locking eyes with you usually scares her, usually makes her queasy with nerves because there’s always something searing in your gaze, but it’s like you see each other for the first time, no barriers.
ellie’s so close she can feel the warmth of your body coiling and drawing her in. her breath’s caught in her throat as she chances a glance at your mouth and her own lips begin to tingle.
she’s on the brink of asking if she can kiss you, but the back door is sliding open and two familiar faces are surfacing.
“williams!”
ellie’s daze melts away as she shifts to put distance between the two of you at the arrival of her friends.
“jess!” she calls. “dina!”
the moment clings heavy, but ellie writes it off. maybe she’s jumping the gun, reading too much into tender moments. it’s colored on your face, though, as she stands to meet her friends halfway, that the two of you are tethered and you feel it too.
ellie’s friends are another reflection of her character. they take you under their wings in the days leading up to the holiday with jesse teaching you to ride his minibike and dina telling you stories of their childhood while excitedly painting your nails pretty shades of autumnal colors because both jesse and ellie vehemently decline.
joel graciously relinquishes his kitchen to the four of you the day before thanksgiving. lets you guys gather around and bake an array of different desserts for tomorrow’s dinner over a few beers and winecoolers.
perhaps ellie’s a lightweight, you come to find, when she’s a lot more giggly and rosy-cheeked than she’d ever let anyone see. she’s feeling a little bubbly and you definitely don’t help the fact when you gaze upon her so fondly as you smear away the streaks of flour across her cheek.
jesse and dina are merely observers, watching with knowing grins as ellie practically melts against your touch.
and as the desserts cool on the kitchen island and the two of see jesse and dina out, ellie can’t keep her hazy eyes off of you. the two of you vote on a movie and she’s taking her usual seat in the right corner of the couch. it starts out with the two of you on opposite ends, but as the film plays, the space between you and ellie diminishes and she swears you can hear the way her heart’s pounding behind her ribcage with your ear pressed to her chest.
it’s uncharted territory considering ellie’s never been big on physical touch and she can’t even be sure that there's anything there, but you have to know. ellie’d mentioned past girlfriends, wasn’t really subtle when it came to wandering eyes on campus, hell, she’d even—
suddenly your arm’s tightening around the narrow of her waist and you’re nestling impossibly closer and christ, ellie can’t help herself when the coarse pads of her fingertips brush your jaw to catch your attention.
your gaze is illuminated by pixels and there’s a hitch in your breathing as you search her features for any hesitation. it’s long gone, you find, when ellie’s mouth is slotting yours, lips warm and tongue still flavored with sparkling wine.
ellie kisses like you’re air and she needs you to breathe. it’s almost embarrassing, way her body reacts to your proximity, how hot she us under the collar and achey as you move to straddle her. her fingertips are skimming down your spine, past the small of your back to take a—
your teeth sinking in the plump of her bottom lip and the way your soft palms find purchase against the rigid expanse of her tattooed abdomen is sobering. has her bony fingers cupping the flesh of your jaw.
“wait, wait,” she whispers, chest heaving and breaths shallow as she looks up at you.
the dust is starting to settle and you take in ellie’s kiss-bitten lips, swollen and slick. her pupils are blown wide, sweater riding up to reveal reddened flesh like you’ve branded her. you lean back.
“fuck,” you whisper. “fuck, i’m so sorry.”
ellie’s mouth is drying.
“why are you sorry?” she whispers.
you seem to chew on your words, eyes teary and expression scared.
“why are you sorry?” ellie repeats, not caring enough to mask the hitch in her voice as she pries.
“you’re always so fucking good to me, ellie,” you whimper. “you’re a great roommate and an even better friend and—”
ellie blows out a deep sigh, falls slack against the cushions as she levels you with an indiscernible look in her eye.
“don’t do that,” she breathes.
“ellie.”
“c’mon, you know me better than that,” she says, tone tinged with annoyance. “you don’t have to let me down easy. you can be honest.”
and color you confused because how couldn’t she fathom that you’ve fallen and head first at that? she’s reading it all wrong, you realize, when defeat shutters over her pretty face.
“i—”
the floorboards outside the den creak and ellie’s pushing you off just as the door squeaks open to reveal joel’s aging face.
he reads the room a moment, decides to blow by the sheen in your eyes and ellie’s rigid posture.
“tommy and maria are leaving, kiddo,” he says. “if you wanna say bye.”
ellie nods, stands and leaves you in the television-illuminated room.
you realize she won’t come back for you when the telltale sound of the front door closes and the stairs seem to groan under her weight.
it’s half past two in the morning when you slip from the den, glass of water condensating on a coaster as you try to collect yourself on the screened-in deck out back.
the icy chill stings your lungs, makes you gulp in breath after breath. the night’s starting to dawn you, the gravity of the situation overwhelming you enough to choke.
“fuck,” you whisper, that familiar feeling of dread squeezing your chest.
meanwhile, ellie can’t sleep. has been staring at the ceiling of her childhood bedroom for the past two and a half hours. you’re all she can think of. pliant curves of your body settling over hers to fit like you two were made for each other, the smell of your subtle perfume, the taste of your mouth.
and she wants to be annoyed, angry at the fact, but she’d brought you all the way here, extricated you from your comfort zone and showed you parts of her she wouldn’t dream of revealing to anyone else.
she recalls the resignation in your tone on the drive up, how you’d divulged the dysfunction of your family and the troubles you carried with you as a result. it’d be your first holiday with someone other than yourself for a while and she’d be damned if it soured because she couldn’t push her feelings aside.
the tv’s off and the blanket’s folded when she musters up enough courage to enter the den again, heart sinking to her ass when she slides back into the kitchen and finds that the sliding door to the back deck is cracked ever so slightly.
she’s seen you in a lot of ways these past eleven-odd months she’s known you, but she’s never seen you like this, hands over your heart and chest heaving like you’re trying to ground yourself.
when your watery gaze swings to her, ellie’s melting, cushion sinking as she settles next to you.
“sorry,” you whisper shakily. “i don’t—”
ellie’s shifting to face you, arms winding around your shoulders as one hand comes up to cradle the back of your head.
“let’s talk about it later,” ellie offers softly. “we can just go to bed for now and—”
“i really, really like you, ellie,” you say in one breath, and it has her body locking up, the audible catch of her inhale sounding near your ear.
“but?”
“no buts,” you admit. “just that i don’t want you to think that i kissed you because you’re being nice to me. well, i guess you’re always nice to me. it’s one of the reasons why i…”
and ellie doesn’t mean to tune you out, but you’re so fucking cute and so sweet and she shouldn’t have doubted you or herself because you’re hiccuping and shivering and—
you taste better the second time around. now ellie’s a little less unsure, still a little nervous because you’re the first girl to make her feel like this and she doesn’t want the bubble she’s built around the two of you in this corner of her little world to burst, but kissing you feels so right.
she’s dragging you back inside, past the den and up the stairs, and maybe the two of you do things you shouldn’t in her twin size bed in her childhood room when her dad’s only a few walls away, but she can’t help herself. not when you’ve always been an arm’s length away and she can finally have you.
it isn’t until the two of you lay under the dim glimmer of the glow-in-the dark stars pasted to her ceiling, her face pressed in your neck, that she says it.
“i really, really like you, too,” she whispers. “i realized i didn’t say it back.”
but it’s not like she needs to. you knew that already.
neng ©️2023
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams fic#ellie williams#ellie williams au#ellie williams tlou2
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What about a girl who on the surface seems to be happy. She's the one that is always there for people no matter what. Yet no one is there for her when she really needs someone. In a dark day where she thinks if she leaves the world no ones life would really change because she never really meant anything to other people. But Eddie finds her in a really bad state and somehow talks to her down and slowly overtime helps her feel wanted and loved. Shows her she's not alone.
A/N: I pushing this request and another someone gave me together because they were very similar. I get this to the core of my being and please never forget you aren't alone <3. You matter and the world is 100 time better because you're in it.
Warnings: Heavy material, mentions of emotional pain and depression especially feeling like no one cares and feeling like a burden. Enter with caution. I imagine a lot of us here have felt this at least at one point in our life.
Word Count: 2476
Everything is loud.
Especially that voice that tells you no one cares. Yeah you have your friends but they have their partners and their families. Yeah you have work but that’s all it is…work. The people you help are there for just that. As soon as you leave their peripherals it’s like you no longer exist. You have your family but it always feels like they are looking for number one…themselves. You’ve done everything for so many people and yet it feels like no one would do the same for you.
It's not like you expect anyone to. You do things for people because you genuinely want to. Sometimes, however, it would just to be nice to feel like you were someone else’s first choice…
Someone who woke up and was excited because they knew they were going to get to spend their day with you. Someone who while out in the world saw something random and their first thought was to call you to tell you. Someone who when you needed something whether it be to laugh or shoulder to cry on wouldn’t hesitate to be there. Someone who asked about your day because they were genuinely curious and not because they needed something. Someone who loved you unconditionally because you’re you.
It was a slow build up to tonight.
It starts with the little voice throughout your day telling you that no one would care. They’ll all move on after you’re gone. How long would it even take for someone to notice? No one calls unless they need something and you’re always the one to text first. You initiate meet ups with your friends and even then it’s hard to get everyone together. You fade in the background at work unless your boss needs someone to belittle.
You haven’t seen your family face to face in so long. They always say their busy or their schedules are tight. Sometimes you call just to talk to your parents and no one answers.
You had tried dating but most people you met up with just wanted sex. Anytime you tried finding a genuine connection, it was met with an innuendo that made your eyes roll.
Today was particularly hard. Your account was overdrawn and you didn’t know how you were going to make it to the next check. Your boss said you seemed distracted and that you need to get your numbers to a better place or else you’d get a write up that could lead to a termination. You called your sister during your break but she didn’t answer instead posting online a selfie with her and her friends at lunch. You messaged a friend with a joke hoping to start a conversation about your worries without coming off like a bother.
“I’m so exhausted. I wish I could meet a millionaire so I don’t have to work anymore lol”
She responded with a simple laughing emoji.
You laid in bed scrolling through your phone at all the happy photos of people with their partners, other friends, and or children. They all seemed genuinely happy…why couldn’t you? You were really good at playing content but it took every ounce of energy you had. You didn’t want to pretend anymore.
You wanted to place the weight of everything down for even just one day of relief while someone took you in their arms and told you that you were safe.
The voice was practically screaming now in your head that you would never get that relief. The only way to end the pain is to remove yourself entirely from the equation.
Your logic brain knew it didn’t want that but you didn’t know how to turn it off.
Opening your front door, you ran outside in the rain in no particular direction hoping that you would end up wherever you were meant to be. You don’t know how long you were on your feet but suddenly you were swept off them as you fell forward into the mud beneath you.
You heard a faint voice but it was hard to understand under the wind and thunder that shook the sky. A leather jacket covered your arms before you were lifted by your biceps and carried into a home nearby.
“Jesus, sweetheart. Are you insane? You’re going to get yourself killed walking out there in this weather.”, the boy scolded as he shook his hair like a dog and took off the shirt he was wearing without any hesitation. “Fuck. Here let me take that here.” Grabbing his jacket, he rung it out in the kitchen and hung it on the counter.
You watched him with wide eyes as he moved around what you realized was a trailer with purpose.
“Alright, here’s a towel. Do you need to use my phone to call someone or—” The towel he handed you promptly feel to the floor when you didn’t reach out to take it from him, giving him pause as you both stared at it on the ground.
His bare feet scooted against the rug as he placed himself in front of you and bent down to grab the towel again. You could feel his eyes scanning over you and when you glanced up to meet them you noticed they know reflected concern.
“You know what? I’m being rude. I haven’t even introduced myself and I just pulled you into my humble abode.” With a big tooth filled grin, he extended his arms out wide and bowed. “My name is Eddie Munson and you are…?” He waits but when you don’t respond, he nonchalantly shakes his head as he stands to his full height again. “No worries. You can tell me when you’re ready. Um, I don’t think a towel will be enough and since it’s still storming you are more than welcome to use our shower. I have some fresh clothes you can change into and we can wash the mud off your outfit. If you want, of course. No pressure.”
“O-Ok.”
One of his eyebrows quirks at the sound of your voice before he flashes you another soft smile.
“Ok? Cool.”
***
When you step out of the shower, you can’t help but feel more relaxed under the steam that filled the bathroom. Eddie’s cigarette smelling clothes added an extra layer of comfort as they hung off your small frame. Glancing at the items on the sink, you smiled at the aftershave and hair product that lingered. Picking up his cologne, your smile grew as you inhale the smell that could best be described as home. You could get lost in that smell…
Continuing to dry your hair as you headed towards his room, you found the metalhead shoveling arms full of clothes that were on his floor into the closet.
“Oh, uh, hey. Sorry. Yeah…my room isn’t usually this messy but…”
“It’s fine. I’m sorry for ruining your night.”
His face visibly scrunched in confusion as he took a seat on the edge of his bed.
“What makes you think you ruined my night?”
“I just…kind of…appeared.”
“Nice, pretty girl like you shows up on my doorstep. Introverts dream right there, honey.”, he chuckles as you blush. “Naw, you didn’t ruin my night. I was just going to lay here, smoke some weed and listen to some music. Would, um, would you like to join me?”
You think for a moment as your eyes take him in. Eddie had changed out of his wet clothes and put on a long sleeve shirt with some shorts that reached past his knees. His hair had begun to dry and frizz in an adorable manner that had butterflies flutter in your tummy.
“Ok.”
“Yeah? Cool.”
“Y/N.” As he slides down to the floor, his head tilts when he hears you speak. “That’s my name.”
Grinning, he reaches under his bedside table and pulls out a little box with a couple of joints pre rolled within.
“That’s very beautiful. So Y/N, is there a particular genre I should stay away from or are you openminded with music?”
“I’d like to think I’m pretty open minded.”
Eddie lights the end of the paper between his lips and his chest moves with every inhale and exhale before passing it to you. The effects are immediate as you feel calmness wash over you, handing it to him before laying on your back beside him.
While you continue to listen to the music that plays neither of you says a word as you pass the joint freely between each other. The most recent song ends and a guitar rift begins to play that you feel like you’ve heard before. When you turn to look his way, your eyes lock with his earnest ones as if he’s waiting for you to recognize it.
When the singer begins to sing the lyrics, your eyes close as you grab your stomach and laugh harder than you felt like you ever had before. Watching the way your personality unfolded has Eddie cackling with you until you were finally able to catch your breath.
“Is that a fucking rock version of Lil Wayne’s ‘Lollipop’?! Oh my god it sounds amazing.”
“I have this weird fascination with rap songs turned into metal covers. It just tickles my funny bone the right way.”
“I love it.”
“And I love your laugh. It’s infectious.”
Glancing his way, you softly smile as you pass him the last of the bud in your hand for him to finish.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nice to see you smile. You seemed a bit sad when you came in.”
“Yeah…we don’t have to talk about it though.”
“Do you not WANT to talk about it?”
“No, I just…you don’t wanna hear all that heavy stuff.”, you sigh as you sit up and lean against his dresser.
“I mean I want to hear more about you, Y/N, and if that ‘heavy stuff’ is a part of you than I wanna hear it.”, he responds as he sits up as well.
“You don’t know me, Eddie.”
“I’m trying to, sweetheart.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why do you want to know? Like I said you don’t know me. Why do you care?”
“I care because I want to know why a gorgeous, seemingly kind woman like you was walking out alone at night during a thunderstorm. Whatever caused her to do that must be really hurting her and I know how much that sucks. I want to help…if I can.”
Your eyes take him in as he pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them to hold them in place. It was so odd to feel safe with someone you didn’t know. You weren’t sure if it was his smooth voice, the intense yet soft hues of his own eyes, or the protective concerned energy that surrounded him but you decided to take a leap and let go.
“When I get lonely…sometimes the voices in my head…get too loud. Not like you know voices, voices but just like that little voice…that makes the world…seem hopeless.”
“Like…no one cares about you to put you first and maybe the world would somehow be better without you in it?” When your gaze shifts his way, you find his have moved to the void in the floor in front him. “Yeah, I know how that feels especially when you hear it being reiterated with that voice.”
“It’s like an extra weight is pushing down on me and I can’t breathe.”
“You just want someone to take off some of that slack and tell you everything is going to be ok. And not because they want something or because they feel like they have to but because they genuinely want to.”
As you nod, you hastily try to dry the tears that fall before he notices.
“Y/N? I promise everything is going to be ok.” When Eddie slid closer to you, you couldn’t stop yourself as you climbed into his lap and curled into his broad chest as his arms circled around you. “You’re safe and the world is 1000 times better because you’re here.”
He continued to coo softly that everything was ok, rocking you gently in his arms as you continued to cry.
################
Six Months Later
You beam as you hold Eddie’s hand at the table with your friend and her date as you wait for your food to served.
“Hey, you know what would be fun? Maybe after we eat, we can head over to Scoops and try that new peanut flavor they have.”
“Oh, yeah!”, your friend exclaims with bright eyes. “I heard it’s so delicious.”
“I mean ice cream sounds great but Y/N can’t have that flavor. She’s allergic remember?”, your boyfriend replies nonchalantly as he quietly thanks the waiter as he places plates down in front of everybody. Without skipping a beat, Eddie opens your burger and steals your pickles he knows you give him every time before wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he eats with his free hand.
Since that first night you met him, everything came almost easy with Eddie. For the first time, you felt heard and understood. Those first couple of months, you half expected him to disappear but every day he showed up with the same enthusiasm that made your heart want to explode.
The first time you two fought, he realized it was because you were afraid to be open.
“Sweetheart, how am I supposed to know it bothers you if you don’t tell me?”
“I just…I don’t want to lose you. I like you a lot, Eddie, and I’m afraid—”
“To be yourself? Baby, I like you a lot to. YOU… not some image of you. Don’t make yourself unhappy to make me happy. I don’t want that.”
From that moment on, you did everything you could to express how you felt and every time he tried to meet you in the middle. Every bad day, you were there for each other no questions asked. Every good day, you relished especially the small moments where you two would just lay on the floor and listen to music enjoying each other’s company without feeling like he’d rather be somewhere else.
You were his first choice and he was yours.
“How about we go to the arcade? They have that ice cream shop next door and then we can play some pool.”, you suggest knowing Eddie can smoke while you guys play as the music you both like plays.
“That sounds like fun.”, your friend grins. “I’m not good with pool but I know Adam likes to show off.”
“So does Ed.”, you giggle.
“Pfft, like you don’t like watching me bend over the table when I shoot my shot.”, he teases as he throws a wink your way before kissing your forehead.
##############
Eddie Asks/ Donate to me :)
Just in case y'all wanted to hear the song :P
#eddie munson#eddie fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#joseph quinn#joseph quinn fluff#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn stranger things#fan fiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#writing requests#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#thank you for the request
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Messages from your Spirit Guides PAC 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
─── ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ───
Welcome friends, to your sprit guide reading whoever your guides may be they always respond to you.
I only call upon the spirits that look fondly upon you and see the being beneath all the judgement and ego, there is just essence. Unconditional love is what I always dip down to even if there are days that I cannot do it for myself, I know it is always present and that gives me much comfort on my worst days. Mental health awareness is real and always check in with yourself especially being chronically honed in on the bad shit that happens around you or is happening. Cultivating slowness is an everyday job for all of us but when we do it we do become thankful. I'm a bit rusty so forgive me if some of my words may be repetitive. Drop a follow to know when I post another general reading!
Pick your Photo:
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Pile I: colors of light 🧚🏾♀️
The lovers (rx), 6 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, the heirophant (rx), 9 of wands (rx)
Back of the deck: ace of cups (rx), knight of swords, 7 of cups
Pile one to begin, your guides sent me images of the sun peering through glass and reflecting rainbow colors which really makes me feel as though you are a deep person but from day to day you may feel dull. Your guides are reminding you, sending you messages of your inner light and how it shines out even if you hide it and reflects back in people places or things. There is a lot about beauty here and how to stay genuine to yourself; your beauty is unique and comparing your beauty to someone else’s is a crime against them and you. If you genuinely don’t think you’re beautiful on outside, then there are always ways to work with what we have when we are ready to tackle it (honestly sometime i need to cry it out). Now on with the card pull:
Wow, I feel a lot going on with so many messages, I’ll try and keep it concise.
First message: you will always be enough is a huge message. It doesn’t matter even if they left you, even if someone who you loved told you that you were too much or even feeling that way towards yourself and your guides do not agree. The more we believe that the more we hurt ourselves and continue to prove it right. Even if you are ‘too much’ there are people out there that would disagree. - huge lesson I’m learning is that two truths can exist at the same space even if they oppose the other. For example, when I talk about my trauma, I feel vulnerable and fearful yet after the fact I feel both emotions, strong and weak. Both fear and strength. You are not to much and even if they couldn’t handle you, your a whole lot of love and light especially from the energy from the image.
Message two: some of you are away from family or your country, things are changing and it’s overwhelming in many ways. There is a lot of choices and a lot of overwhelming feelings towards making them. Your guides are advising you to trust in yourself and ignore the voices around that do not harbor understanding. Trust in your own judgment and believe in what you’re doing because it is your life and your actions that shape it; you will be the one living with it so always believe in yourself, you know what’s best for you and even when we make that mistake, we need a gentle reminder that mistakes are apart of success. if you don't give yourself the space to learn then you will continue to never know what is for you.
Message three: it’s always you pile one that always gets the message to be kinder to yourself; life isn’t a strict fast paced all or nothing (obviously life is very hard now for many.) but your guides are reminding you life will have its downs and if you can’t take time for those downs then they will be crashes. I’m feeling loved ones coming through this pile, so just know your guides understand your struggle and want to remind you as well that they are always with you.
Lots of burn out energy, you are so strong, please believe me when I say you are enough.
To the lovely humans who broke up with someone or let go of a person who you love but was toxic, you did the right thing for yourself, i send you love my love.
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Pile II: Stepping stones ☄️
8 of cups, the hierophant, 7 of cups (rx), ace of pentacles, temperance, the moon
Back of the deck: queen of wands and 2 of cups (rx)
Right now you’re stepping up to the unknown, it’s natural to be fearful of risk. Pile 2 I sense that good things will come to you when you make the choice, even with hesitation don’t doubt the choices you have already made. all we can do is what we know now. the effort you put into your work will pour back into you. I can sense a lot of hesitation but still moving forward and that takes courage! Your guides are proud of you stepping up to the plate.
I can see some people going back to school and graduating scared that they will never find stability. Some of you are taking chances and starting businesses especially creative ones (relatable content). Your guides are supporting you on your financial endeavors and know the future feels scary for many.
It’s very unstable in many places right now so I understand the confusion and the fear but the pendulum always swings back and things always go back into balance again even by force (which we shouldn’t let it to come to an extreme but whatever.) You are strong people but this creativity needs to be grounded in reality when it comes to money; be realistic and continue with your motivated attitude towards your endeavors. honestly some of you are and are focusing to hard on the little details, relax and just do what's in front of you.
Believe in yourself pile 2. You have grown to doubt yourself and abilities at times because of push back and it’s actually super healthy for intelligent people to question themselves but to much self doubt only leaves us frozen. Now is the time to go ahead and shine!
The energy for you is ripe with opportunities your guides are saying go ahead, take the calculated risk, do the thing you want to but just know take time to do it with love and integrity you will succeed.
The moon and the 7 of cups reverse tell me about your doubt, anxiety and not knowing what may happen is the worst but life is all about the mystery and discovering your path. dear wanderer, not all souls who walk a lonely path are lost, maybe you'll run into another.
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Pile III: Glowing mushrooms 🍄
Page of cups, Death, The Emperor, King of pentacles, strength (rx), Ace of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Page of Swords
Your path to transformation takes determination and strength, but understand the power is within you and how you have gotten far.
Mushrooms are pretty crazy! They grow in so many places and are resilient; I’m not saying you’re a mushroom (even though honestly, it’s a vibe) but your guides are bringing it up. Every photo is connected to the pile it is above and yours is about your strength and resilience (pile 2 as well but it's much more emphasized here).
I mean so many people are keeping it together right now and you’re no different but I feel an extra sprinkle of shit being thrown your way recently or this could be a theme. Keep doing what you’re doing is a message for many but to keep taking the steps to this new life and I mean new life. I don’t mean moving away and starting over (unless that resonates) but you are changing it up, starting new habits and new routines, taking steps constantly at a different pace but never stopping, (it’s a lot that you have been juggling I’m surprised I don’t see the 2 of pentacles) Your guides are like Dang they got this.
Lots are taking big steps in life atm and your frozen on a choice (pile 2 also has some of that energy) there is a message of that you’re only human and sometimes it’s alright to be vulnerable and look back at the good times but the here and now is calling, stay focused and channel your emperor energy guys.
Please don’t neglect your mental health, many of you may be overworking even when you feel like you haven’t pushed yourself hard enough *whacks head* stop! You are working enough it’s just that things in reality are kinda messed up and that’s why there so many of us like this. the world is dysfunctional so of course we will be too. But of course that doesn’t solve the issue of having to keep on when your anxious and depressed, but a minute of your day is all you need to cry, to get a hug from someone, I always recommend self care. You can be strong and vulnerable at the same time and I’m willingly absorbing the information from my therapist on how two truths can exist at the same time even if they oppose the other. Be upset and when you can get up and finish that assignment, project, shipment, sale, you seriously got this but I know this is more about the stress and anxiety all this work carries with it.
Stable energy is present in the spread which makes me feel like your guides are just cheering you on knowing how hard it has been and that you are reaching positive new things especially with Death and this transformation that been going on. Be wary of spending for right now (as i assume you are tbh) but know that finances energetically will grow , just stay on task and carry yourself with pride because you are amazing!
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So those were the messages I picked up on, I hope they comfort and support you in some way, or even give you advice. Stay humble and lovely my friends.
Tarot decks used: Rider-Waite tarot deck
- ShiningMysticTarot ☀️
#witchblr#general tarot reading#shmtarot#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#spirit guides#spirit guide reading#spirituality#tarot#tarot reader
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141 + extra when they get home from war
Y’all be too much lol. This is my third head cannon and the Mother’s Day one is still on the top of the likes list and I don’t know why like that one was my trash one and everything else I like put time and effort into. It’s like offering people a gourmet meal or Ramen noodles with chicken nuggets, lol I’m glad everybody does enjoy my Content though, and I hope that you all enjoy this one as well!
COD x Female Character
Warnings: PG-13, mentioning of sex, fluff, suggestion of angst
Captain John Prince
• when he gets home, he’s usually pretty tired.
• Don’t be alarmed if he just wants to sleep when he gets home.
• Usually you pick him up from the airport and he will load in his bags with a grunt and say that he could really use some good sleep.
• He smells like gun powder and dirt, even though he just took a shower.
• When he gets home, he will give you a kiss, then head off to bed no matter what time of day it is.
• He’s just that tired.
• When he wakes up the first thing he does is go back over to you and give you a proper kiss and a proper greeting.
• Make sure that you have some food for him. He’s going to be hungry, and he really needs some thing that’s more sustainable than MREs.
• He wants to hear about your life and what you’ve been up to while he’s been at work.
• Listening to you talk is one of his favorite past times and it helps him relax. Sitting in front of the couch while watching some TV show while you’re rambling on about the past months and about what you’ve been up to really brings a smile to his face.
• He likes to catch up on his reading.
• This man enjoys reading with a cigar in his mouth and a glass of bourbon.
• If you’ve picked out a new book for him to read, he will be gladly appreciate of of it.
• But most importantly, he would want you to be in his lap while he’s reading, but if you don’t like the smell of cigar smoke near your face, he will make sure not to smoke near you.
Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley
• Simon comes home as Ghost.
• The persona of a vengeful wraith and the shell of a once human is what your are graced with.
• He is very quiet, very solemn, and very cold.
• This is because he’s just dealing with his PTSD.
• He needs time to heal from recent encounters. This can take as little as one week to as long as three months.
• After badgering him enough times, to go see a therapist, he obliges.
• Though he’s pretty cranky about it.
• Give him space. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but right now, he doesn’t trust himself, especially with the nightmares raging through his mind.
• His nightmares are so vivid that it can be hard to distinguish Friend or foe.
• This is due to the fact that he needs to be working or else those vile thoughts come hunting him.
• He will never tell you about what goes on while he’s away.
• Once Ghost disappears, Simon takes his place.
• The poor broken man is just tired, and he just wants to lay next to you and hear about your day or months.
• Once you become stable enough, he begins to be more active around the house instead of just brooding in the bedroom.
• He hast to keep himself busy at all times.
• No rest for the wicked.
• Hast to sleep with a lamp on.
• Even though he seems harsh around the outside, he loves you deeply, and that’s why he separates himself from you for a certain time.
Sergeant Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish
• Opposite of Ghost, Johnny is so excited to see you!
• As soon as he gets off the airplane, he runs over to you!
• This man is all over you before you even see him!
• He starts asking you 1 million questions about how your months have been and what’s been going on with his family and any news on the recent football (soccer) matches.
• You actually have to calm him down because he’s all over the place.
• When you get into the car, he is kissing you all over your face.
• This man has enough energy to run to the moon and back, and it shows.
• He’ll try to take you right there if only he wasn’t in a car confined by a seatbelt
• Johnny is quick to help around the house and do whatever task you need to do.
• He says he’s making up for lost time.
• If you’ve decorated the house in a new way, he will always compliment what you’ve done to it.
• Johnny wakes up early in the morning and practically begged you to join him on a hike.
• It could be down pouring for all he cares about but he really wants to be with you while he’s working out.
• He will bring you back a souvenir probably something stupid like a rock or a jar of sand.
• If he gets any scars, he shows you and starts pointing them out and tells you the story about each and everyone of them.
• He won’t go into great detail about how gruesome the battling was.
• He wants you to be in his life every step of the way, even if you’re at home.
Sargent Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
• Kyle is grinning from ear to ear when he sees you!
• He’s not as hyper as Johnny, nor is he a stoic as his captain.
• He has the perfect mix between excited and tired
• When you to get home, he says that you two should just order pizza and he’s dying to play a video game with you even if he’s a little tired.
• Kyle doesn’t go into a lot of detail about his work. He’ll just make an occasional gesture about what he saw what he did.
• Like soap, he’ll bring you back a souvenir.
• He actually takes time with his souvenir shopping though, and we’ll go to local markets installs to actually pick you out some thing that you might like.
• Happy to be with you and glad to be away from the fighting.
Commander Alejandro Vargas
• When he comes home, his first instinct is to drop his bags by the door, and bring you into a warm and passionate kiss and hug.
• As much as he loves his job and all of his soldiers and team, some thing about being at home with you makes him feel truly loved.
• He may be tired, but he still going to serenade you like it’s his last day on earth.
• If you haven’t started making dinner yet, he will help and participate with whatever you’re doing. He may be tired, but he’s never tired for you.
• He loves watching you move around the house.
• He’s not going to deny it, but you wearing his clothes and cooking dinner with him really turns him on.
• After dinner, he may propose a night in bed to you.
• This man serenades you in sex especially after he’s been away for a long time
• Physical touch is his love language, and he loves being with you.
Sergeant Major Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
• Like his commander, when he comes home, all he wants to do is drop his bags and immediately embrace you and a warm hug while rubbing your head and whispering how much he’s missed you.
• He also wants to help you cook dinner, or do some thing, but if you go, tell him to take a shower and to relax, he won’t deny that he needs it.
• Rudy loves reading a book with you so after dinner he will want to skip the washing dishes and ask if you would like to read with him before going to bed. No matter what time it is in the day. If he’s tired enough, he will once to at least read a little bit before falling asleep.
• Once he’s asleep, the bags underneath his eyes seem to disappear. He knows you’re close and he knows that you’re safe and that’s all that he could ever ask for to make him happy.
König
• As soon as he gets off the airplane and sees you amongst the crowd of people, his anxiety stops, and he immediately makes his way to you.
• He can’t sleep on an airplane, but as soon as he’s in the car, he’s about ready to doze off. You have to remind him not to though, because waking him up or trying to drag him out of the car is near impossible.
• He is really trying hard not to pass out in the car.
• Once he gets home, he stumbles into the kitchen looking for a nice tall glass of water to drink, and a sandwich or two to eat.
• Make sure that you keep the sandwiches stocked.
• This man will then make his way to the bedroom, take a cold shower, get into some warm PJs, and then slip into bed.
• Once he’s asleep, he will stay in his hybernation for roughly 3 days.
• He will only wake up to use the restroom, get a drink of water, or to eat some thing.
• When his mind is on the battlefield, he rarely puts himself into a sleep state, but when he’s at home, it’s like all of the hours that he missed, sleeping or suddenly compiled in a single week.
• Just let him rest, and sooner or later, he’ll wake up from his hibernation, and will seek you out so that he can give you kisses and hugs and ask how your time has been away from him.
Alex Keller
• When Alex gets back, like everybody on this list, he is tired.
• His leg is very sore from the prosthetic. Prosthetics are not comfortable and cause I’m serious leg and back pain.
• He will ask very nicely if you could massage his leg for him when he gets home.
• Once he’s in the car, Alex is taking off that damn prosthetic leg and rubbing his stump.
• You can tell he’s in a lot of pain just by the way, his eyes crease, and a frown forms.
• In order to get him off of the pain, you talk to him about his time.
• This usually makes him perk up since he enjoys talking to you about his adventures.
• His personality is like a mix between Johnny and Kyle, but leans more towards Kyle.
• When you get home you’ll have to help him walk because he really does not want to put on his prosthetic.
• You just leave the bag in the car to get later.
• When Alex gets into bed, it’s like a huge sigh of relief washes over him.
• You can see how red and agitated his amputated limb is.
• You do what you can to make him feel better by applying some numbing cream and giving him some pain relieving medicine.
• He always feels better once you start massaging his leg and even more so if you give them a back rub.
• This man is a simple man and enjoys a simple massage after months of no rest.
Philip Graves
• Like a soldier from World War II coming home to meet his best girl.
• He always surprises you when he comes home and has one of his shadow men drive him to the house.
• He always buys you a huge bouquet of flowers and some pretty jewelry as well.
• When he walks through the door, he asks where his baby girl is.
• And of course you come running and giving him a huge hug and crying, which he immediately envelops you into a hug.
• He’s whispering in your ear with that southern drawl about how much she misses you.
• He gets a little into himself when he’s talking about how his mission is or how he was able to handle such a dangerous and daunting task.
• As egotistical, as this may seem, it is his way of expressing his love for you in a slightly weird way.
• In the evening, he’ll probably swoop you up into a dance, with both of you, smiling and laughing.
• He tells you how much he misses you and how much he loves you.
• In bed, he shows you how much he means both of those things.
#cod x reader#cod x you#x reader#fluff#cod#cod john price#john price#price x reader#price x you#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#johnny soap mactavish#soap x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#alejandro vargas#alejandro x you#alejandro x reader#rudy x reader#rudy x you#könig x you#könig x reader#cod könig#alex keller#alex x reader#cod philip graves#phillip graves#graves x reader#headcanon
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blind spot | lando norris (+ logan)
genre: angst (maybe fluff if you squint)
pairing: lando x reader and some logan x reader
wc: 1.7k
warnings: none
summary: at the end of season party, feelings and frustrations seem to spill over for Lando when he spots you with another driver.
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It’s the post race party in Abu Dhabi and there’s a certain lightness filling the room. No matter whether this was a good season or a bad season for each driver, it was done and that alone was reason enough to celebrate.
You’re used to spending the races you get to watch in McLaren hospitality thanks to your lifelong friendship with Lando. He says you’re his good luck charm, so even on weekends where you can’t make the travel work out you still find yourself up at ungodly hours in the morning to cheer him on. It’s been nice that being friends with Lando has allowed you to make friends with some of the other guys on the grid, like George and Alex, but you haven’t really put yourself out there at all. You’re here for your best friend, so you make good on your promises to stick next to him all throughout the race weekend.
Today is an exception though, as Max has dragged Lando up to the DJ booth with him and there’s only so long you can spend right in front of the speakers before you get a headache. He hasn’t noticed your absence but that’s unsurprising to you - the club is the one place where you and Lando seem to really have your differences. He lives for the energy; the big crowds, the loud music, the people, while you’d rather get drunk on a bottle of wine at home while watching an old movie if you had the choice. For a minute, you consider leaving Lando behind to do exactly that, but you can see his smile even from across the room and you would hate to accidentally take that away from him. Instead, you figure if you’re going to be here longer, another drink from the bar wouldn’t hurt. You’re swirling your straw around in your drink while sitting at the bar, feeling the bass pound through your seat as you take in the sights of all the drivers and their friends roaming around. It’s nice to see them all that free, and you don’t notice a familiar duo on the grid creep up on you until you feel a tap on your shoulder.
“Oh hey Y/N, I wanted to introduce you to Logan, my teammate,” is what Alex says casually to you over the music roaring through the club. There’s suddenly a dirty-blonde haired boy in front of you with a charming smile, and something about him makes your heart race. He reaches his hand out to greet you and you can feel your cheeks warm up, and you don’t think it’s from the vodka cran that you’re holding onto.
You and Logan get along like two drops of water as you find yourself settling into a booth with just him for the night. You talk about your families, your favorite tv shows, your deepest hopes and regrets. It’s been a while since you’ve ever connected with someone like this. It’s like when he looks at you he really sees you, which is something you’ve always wished for from someone else. The two of you are in your own world as you’re chatting away, so much to the point that you don’t notice a familiar curly haired boy approach your booth.
“Time to go Y/N, you’re drunk.”
Lando leans onto the table with both hands and you can see the way that he’s staring at you that he’s dead serious, the only thing is you’re not sure why. You offer him a smile as you reply back to him.
“I’m fine with Logan, thank you though.”
There’s a painfully awkward silence falling over you three. Lando doesn’t accept no for an answer, and he’s already reaching for your wrist to pull you up to him. It starts to frustrate you because you’re nowhere near drunk and Lando knows that too. Drunk Y/N would be dancing up on a table pounding back shots of tequila, definitely not sitting here chatting with a really nice guy. You stop Lando by placing a hand over his and he looks up in shock at your actions.
“She said she’s good, mate.” Logan interjects firmly from the other side of you, and even you tense up knowing that Lando is not going to like that tone.
Lando doesn’t even look Logan in the eye and is staring directly at you. You mouth “what are you doing” to him while he keeps staring you down like you’ve committed a crime.
“You don’t wanna start this Sargeant, I promise you that.” Lando curses, his eyes still never leaving yours.
Lando’s statement has you clenching your jaw and your mind is spinning as you try to interpret it. In the short time you’ve spoken to Logan you’ve learned a lot about him - he was kind, thoughtful, and already felt like an outsider on the grid, so there was absolutely no reason for Lando to be acting like your bodyguard against him right now.
The pacifist in you just wants this whole interaction to be over, so you go to pick up your purse and give Logan a look that says “sorry, I have no idea what he’s doing” before you stand up to join your best friend. Lando was someone you could never say no to, no matter how hard you tried.
Logan offers the man a tight lipped smile before bringing his drink to his lips. Your heart hurts knowing that he already struggles with making friends on the grid and you’re sure that spending tonight with him hasn’t helped that at all. Lando’s going to hear it from you, for sure, you’re just hoping you can keep it in until you both get back to the hotel.
Lando doesn’t spare another glance to you while you’re rummaging through the contents of your purse, and you keep your distance from him too. His jaw is still clenched like it would be after a bad race, only this time you don’t want to reach out to caress his cheek to help him. Lando fucked up tonight, and maybe you did too but the frustration of everything was becoming too much.
It’s when Lando turns back to get the last word in and says “stay away from my girl” do you finally lose it.
You scoff “your girl?? I wasn’t your girl when you were doing body shots off that girl in the corner 20 minutes ago.” Suddenly you’re breathing heavily as you’re staring back at Lando with an equally angry look. This season has made you feel one thing - you may be Lando’s best friend but you’ll never be his girl, so hearing those words echoed back at you made you see red, knowing that Lando didn’t feel the same way.
When your voices start to elevate further Logan quietly excuses himself from the situation when he realizes that it’s much bigger than just Lando being pissed at him for talking to you tonight, and neither of you even seem to notice as you’re too busy flinging words at each other.
There’s a certain fire behind Lando’s eyes and an emotion you can’t quite place. You two have argued of course, but over stupid things like what type of takeout you were gonna get and who would have to take out the garbage. But you’ve never yelled at each other like this.
“Why are you doing this, Lando?” your voice is laced with exasperation and you still can’t even look him in the eye.
“It’s for your own good, you don’t get it”
You mumble under your breath that you can see good or bad for yourself completely fine, something that has Lando rolling his eyes as he tightens his hold on your wrist.
“I”m not the one who doesn’t get it. You think you know everything. But news flash Norris, you don’t”
You only use Lando’s last name when you’re in a bad mood, and it’s an immediate indicator for the curly haired man that you’re picking a fight. It’s a miracle nobody has noticed the two of you arguing as he’s basically dragging you through the crowds of people on the dance floor like you’re a little kid being put in timeout. Maybe you could never hate Lando, but man do you really dislike him at this moment.
“I can name anything about you Y/N - favorite color, favorite food, favorite movie, try me.”
You can tell he’s dead serious as he stops in his tracks and turns back to face you. He’s not moving until you answer his challenge, so you give in to his request begrudgingly with some rapid fire questions. You have to admit that he answers your questions almost expertly - nailing all of them. There’s one question he’s bound to get wrong, and somehow the words that have been stuck on your tongue for so long finally slip out and hit the curly haired boy in front of you.
“What about the fact that the ENTIRE grid can tell that I’m in love with you and the only person who doesn’t get it is you - did you know that, Lando?”
The look on Lando’s face as you say it tells you everything you need to know. Of course he had no idea, he never looked as closely at you as you did to him. He’s stuttering and mumbling his words and you don’t have the patience to listen to him be flustered over this. Or maybe it’s that you don’t want to hear him reject you for real.
“You don’t need to say anything.” You say firmly “you’ve made it abundantly clear over the last year about how you feel.” Around you the crowd doesn’t seem to pay any attention to your spat and that’s the most reprieve you’ll be able to get out of this situation.
“I’m leaving, Lando.” you sigh and your voice cracks slightly “and don’t you dare think of following me”
It all seems to happen so fast. It’s a long, sad, empty Uber ride back to the hotel as you try to hold in your tears in the backseat. You know you told him no, but a part of you wishes that Lando would’ve fought for you, that he would’ve followed you out into the rain and you both could’ve made up right then and there. But life isn’t a movie, and
that’s become evidently clear on this drive.
It’s only once you’re cocooned under your blankets that you have the courage to finally check your phone. There’s only 1 message on your home screen…
And you hate yourself for it, but it’s not from the boy you wanted it to be.
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author's note: honestly im not 100% happy with this piece and i don't can't exactly pinpoint why, but i wanted to share it with you all anyways in hopes that someone enjoys it! i'll keep working on making even better fics in the future :) Until next time! - Em <3
#f1 fic#lando norris#logan sargeant#lando norris imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x reader#lando norris angst#logan sargeant angst#formula 1#ln4#ls2#f1 angst#lando norris x you#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant one shot#lando norris one shot
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