#Because I always feel like I don't know enough to participate in the political conversations
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apfel07 · 2 months ago
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:((
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ponderingmoonlight · 5 months ago
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Reader who has never gotten drunk and doesn't want to touch alcohol due to personal issues x Nanami who drinks her shot for her to avoid awkward situations
Honestly this hits 100% home. I don't drink alcohol at all and always get insulted by some dumb people I don't even know that well when I'm out here in my hometown. I'd love to have a supportive Nanami by my side :(
In Quiet Understanding
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Pairing: Nanami x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,8k
Synopsis: At a lively work party, you're cornered by the pressure to drink - a personal boundary you’re not ready to cross. Just as the moment becomes unbearable, Nanami steps in, quietly taking the shot for you. In his calm, understated way, he shows that sometimes the loudest support is silent.
Warnings: Fluff fluff fluff, my man is the greenest flag on earth, you just gotta love him
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The bar buzzes around you, a steady hum of conversation blending with the clink of glasses and the occasional burst of laughter. Warm lights cast a dim glow over the crowd around, softening the edges of faces that surround you. It’s supposed to be a casual night out, just a few jujutsu sorcerers celebrating the end of a particularly long week, but the drink sitting in front of you feels like a barrier more than anything else.
A shot glass, small but potent, sits in front of you. The liquid inside glistens, clear and harmless to anyone else.
But to you, it feels like something heavier. You’ve never been one to drink, and not because you’ve never had the opportunity. It’s more complicated than that. There are reasons, personal ones that don’t make for easy explanations in a casual setting like this. But now, with everyone gathered around, laughing and sipping their drinks, it’s hard not to feel the unspoken pressure to participate.
You glance down at the shot again, the tension in your chest tightening. You’ve managed to avoid alcohol for this long, always coming up with an excuse or dodging the question when it came up. But tonight feels different. The way people keep sliding glances at your untouched glass makes you think someone will say something if you don’t take it soon. It’s just a matter of time before someone asks.
The last thing you want is to be the center of attention for that.
You steal a glimpse at the others sitting around the table, hoping to avoid any prying eyes. Most of them are too wrapped up in their own conversations to notice your discomfort, their attention focused on the drinks in their hands and the jokes being thrown around. A few have already gone through two or three rounds, faces flushed from the alcohol and laughter. Especially Gojo, who you thought isn’t even able to get drunk, starts to talk with a numb tongue. You shift in your seat, trying to blend into the background, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of the glass but not lifting it.
That’s when you feel it: the presence beside you.
Nanami Kento sits quietly, just as he always does in these types of settings. He doesn’t participate in the loud chatter or the easy-going atmosphere as much as the others. His energy is different - steadier, more reserved. You’ve always appreciated that about him, the way he manages to be a grounding presence without saying much. It’s comforting, even if you’ve never told him so.
Nanami is not the type to drink heavily, either. He has a glass of whiskey in front of him, sipped slowly over the course of the evening. It’s as if he’s participating just enough to be polite, but not so much that he’s truly in the middle of the scene. You imagine that he already noticed your untouched shot glass, though he hasn’t said anything. He’s too observant not to notice details like that, right?
You’re trying to work up the courage to find a way out of this situation when, without warning, Nanami moves.
His hand reaches across the small table, fingers curling around the shot glass in front of you. You blink, taken off guard by the sudden action. He lifts the glass effortlessly, not making a show of it. But before you can say anything, he downs the shot in one smooth motion, setting the empty glass back on the table with a quiet clink.
You stare at him bamboozled, a mix of surprise and confusion flashing across your face.
“Nanami-san…”, you start when he cuts you off with a calm, measured response.
“You didn’t seem like you wanted it. I thought I’d save you the trouble” he explains briefly.
His words hang in the air between you, simple and humble. There’s something about the way he says it, so quiet, without judgment, that catches you off guard. He doesn’t ask why you weren’t drinking, doesn’t press for an explanation or make a joke out of it like others might have.
He just… helps. Without making it a big deal.
You feel the tension in your chest ease, the knot of anxiety loosening as you process what just happened. The relief is almost overwhelming, the weight of the situation lifting in a way you hadn’t expected. You didn’t even realize how badly you needed someone to step in, to save you from the awkwardness of having to explain yourself, until Nanami did exactly that.
“Thank you,” you murmur, your voice quieter than you intended.
Nanami simply nods, his expression unchanged.
“It’s nothing.”
But it isn’t nothing to you.
For a few moments, the noise of the bar fades into the background, the laughter and voices becoming a distant hum as you focus on the man beside you. Nanami returns to his usual posture, resting back in his seat with his glass of whiskey, his eyes drifting over the crowd. He doesn’t expect anything from you, doesn’t expect a conversation or even a thank you beyond what you’ve already offered. He’s just… there, in the quiet way he always is.
“And it’s Kento for you”, he adds after a long pause.
The group around you starts to settle down a bit as the night wears on. The initial excitement has given way to a more comfortable rhythm, the laughter still present but less harsh. People are leaning back in their chairs, enjoying their drinks at a slower pace now. The pressure to keep up, to drink shot after shot like the others has lessened, and you’re grateful for that.
Nanami saved you from having to participate in that part of the night, and now, with the glass out of your hands, you feel more at ease. You glance at him again, catching the way his expression remains calm, unreadable to most.
But you know better. You’ve worked with him long enough to notice the subtle shifts in his behaviour, the tiny flickers of thought behind his eyes that most people miss.
He’s always been like that: quiet, composed, but aware. Aware of the little things, the unspoken discomforts that others might ignore. It’s something you’ve come to respect deeply about him, even if you’ve never found the right moment to say it aloud.
As the night progresses, more rounds are ordered, but no one pressures you anymore. The group is too absorbed in their own drinks and stories, too comfortable in the haze of alcohol to notice that you haven’t touched another shot. You blend in easily now, sipping on a glass of water you quietly asked for earlier, content to just be part of the atmosphere without feeling the need to explain yourself.
“Are you feeling better now?”
The raising of his voice catches you off guard and leads to you almost choking on a sip of water. To be honest, you always admired that man from afar. So far away that you always made sure he doesn’t catch the way your eyes follow each and every move of his well-toned body. So far away that you never dare to say a single word to him, not even when he’s sitting right next to you. So far away that he isn’t able to tell that you have a huge crush on him.
“I do…Thanks to you.”
Instead of answering, he simply nods while taking another sip of his whiskey.
“You’re welcome.”
Eventually, the group begins to wind down. A few people are noticeably tipsy, their voices louder, their movements less coordinated. Others have begun to check their phones, signaling that the night is nearing its end. You find yourself feeling a sense of relief, knowing that you’ve made it through without any awkward confrontations or unwanted attention.
As the table starts to clear out, Nanami stands up, finishing the last sip of his whiskey before setting the glass down. He glances at you briefly, catching your eye.
“Ready to go?”
With him? Your heart almost beats out of your chest, palms already starting to get sweaty. Does he…really want to take you home?
When he gives you another look you finally nod, grateful for the out. The two of you say your goodbyes to the group, exchanging a little chit-chats as you leave the bar. The cool night air hits you as soon as you step outside, a welcome contrast to the stuffy warmth inside and your burning-hot cheeks. You take a deep breath, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders now that the evening is over even with your long-time crush by your side.
Nanami walks beside you in silence for a few moments, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. He’s not the type to fill the air with unnecessary conversation, and you appreciate that. The quiet between you is comfortable, familiar.
“About earlier…” you begin, breaking the silence.
“I just wanted to say thank you again. I didn’t-”
“You don’t need to explain,” Nanami interrupts, his voice gentle but firm.
“I didn’t do it expecting anything in return.”
You stop walking for a moment, turning to face him fully. There’s something in his expression, something softer than usual.
“I know. But it means a lot. I just… I don’t really drink. And I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
Nanami meets your gaze, his eyes steady and understanding.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Not about that, or anything else.”
The weight of his words sinks in, and you feel a warmth spread through your chest. He’s not just talking about the shot glass anymore, and you know it. There’s a depth to his understanding that goes beyond the surface, beyond the simple act of taking a drink for you. It’s the kind of quiet, unspoken support that feels rare.
You offer him a small, genuine smile.
“Thank you, Nanami. Really.”
“It’s Kento, (y/n).”
The second his tongue pronounces your name so delicately, you can feel your heart almost burst in sheer excitement.
“Right…Kento.”
He nods once, and without another word, the two of you continue walking, the city lights casting long shadows as you move forward together.
In the end, it wasn’t about the drink. It was about the quiet understanding between the two of you, the kind of connection that doesn’t need words to be felt.
And as the night fades into memory, you can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude for the person beside you - steady, reliable Nanami, who always seems to know exactly what you need, even without asking.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago
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aita for being kind of rude to a girl who was making me uncomfortable?
(ages aren't really relevant but we're in high school)
okay so background my school has mandatory gym classes and i hate it. this year we had a dance unit which made me really dysphoric (i'm transmasc, gym classes are separated by sex and the teacher kept saying shit like "ok now you can be a little bit sexy with this move!!") & just in general i hate dancing. near the beginning of the unit i started crying in the middle of class because we were forced to choose groups and i didn't really know anyone that well and got overwhelmed
this girl i'd been on reasonably friendly terms with came over to comfort me which was fine and nice of her albeit a little bit uncomfortable because i hate feeling pitied but like i wasn't gonna hold that against her. i joined her group and we talked a bit more after that in the next couple weeks, she always seemed nice enough though i always felt a little bit like she saw me as some sort of pity project? but i chalked it up to me being oversensitive cause it was really just vibes
eventually she noticed that i hadn't been doing too well with my participation grade for the unit (for obvious reasons) and encouraged me to talk to the teacher about it, which i politely declined because i didn't really think it was necessary (i had like an 89 for the quarter, i was doing fine if not outstanding). for the whole class she would not drop it though and eventually was just straight up begging me ("do it for me?? please???? please????") and it was lowkey making me really uncomfortable so at a certain point i got fed up and i think i said something along the lines of "you're not my mom". she seemed to take offense to this and i immediately apologized but the conversation kind of ended there cause i had to go get changed and she has not spoken to me since (it's been several months, i'm just sending this now because i don't know if i'm crazy for thinking she's overreacting a bit). i later found out that she had actually talked to the gym teacher about how she was concerned about me, without telling me or asking me, leading to the gym teacher giving me a concerned speech about how communication is important or whatever. which was annoying
i hope this doesn't come off as just wanting validation that i've been Wronged i'm like. genuinely questioning whether i was an asshole and just didn't realize? because i've been told that i often come across as rude without meaning to and idk if i was the one overreacting in the situation. we're both also neurodivergent as far as i know if that affects anything, i'm suspected autistic w/ adhd and she's diagnosed adhd
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genderqueerdykes · 5 months ago
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this may not be your wheelhouse and if so feel free to ignore but: do you know how to get past the sense of imposter syndrome wrt being punk? like. i'm punk, have always been will always be, it's objectively not debatable. but i've had to make some very un-punk decisions (ex. getting a degree and a normie job) in order to survive. and i haven't been well enough to do the work out on the streets or go to the venues in a while now. obviously i didn't magically become a poser, i still know the music, history, fashion, theory, etc... but i still kinda feel like a fraud :/ any advice?
you know, that's a pretty good question, actually, because i've noticed in a lot of alternative scenes, people really like to get uppity and make fun of people who are just getting into it, or may be into it for a while and then move on
i noticed it firsthand when i lived with other punks in a house venue. i saw probably hundreds of people filtering in and out of there over the course of months and a lot of conversations were leftist infighting and it just kinda became the same old garbage over and over again. some people have superiority complexes that make them feel "Above" everyone around them because they are counterculture. it can become a bit tiresome
what i would say, is that you cannot make decisions that line up with your beliefs/politics/etc. all the time. anticapitalists still need to make money. punks very well may need an established career in order to survive. people who live in food deserts have to rely on shitty companies in order to get their groceries and necessities. i don't think that makes anyone 'unpunk', fortunately, because despite how much we despise this capitalist hellhole, we can't just magically exist completely outside of it without engaging in every single thing we oppose
there's no reason why a punk can't be 'formally employed', so to speak, because not everyone is capable of living off of donations or running their own shop, selling zines, selling customized clothing, selling things they've grown ethically and organically, and so on. the thing is, is money moves so fast in capitalism that two weeks can easily break you. most people are one missed paycheck away from the worst situation of their life
as long as you actually follow through with what you believe and stand for in the areas where you can, that's what's important. as long as you behave in a way that doesn't oppress others, support your local community, participate in harm reduction events, or whatever your specific focus is on breaking down the structures firmly built around us to divide us, you are very much a punk.
respect for others, standing up for one's self, and other's when possible in situations where remaining peaceful is not an option, unlearning racism, trans/misogyny, transandrophobia, transphobia, lesbophobia, homophobia, intersexism, biphobia, and other queerphobic beliefs, learning to respect demonized and heavily oppressed people such as people of color, homeless people, addicts, people with personality disorders, people with schizophrenia, people with bipolar disorder, people with DID, people with OCD, people with autism, people with ADHD, and other neurodivergent and mentally ill people, and breaking down other internalized oppressive structures in your own mind to prevent perpetuating it, you've achieved your goal
the thing is is not every punk is a master of punk history, most punks are in the scene to meet with like minded people who very well may have other interests outside of the community that take up more of their time. many people don't have the time to read up on literature and zines because they live transient or busy lives. many punks don't listen to entirely punk music, some don't listen to any at all. i don't listen to a lot of music, due to being autistic and easily overwhelmed by sound, myself, so that is an area that i am not super versed in. i have very basic knowledge from sitting around and listening to other punks and their music, but i'm more focused on activism. but that's exactly the thing:
not every punk is an activist, either. you can wade as far as you personally want to into these waters. there are different kinds of punks, for sure, and that's not a bad thing at all. some folks are really passionate about music and want to spread a message that way, but may not have the time to become involved with local activist organizations. some punks are in it for the art. some are in it because they like each others company and personalities. some people like that there are a lot of trans and queer people in general in the scene so they find it a safe place to meet other queer people. some people like the casual atmosphere and ability to do whatever substances they want with other people in a safe environment without judgment, and around other people who have experiences with these substances. some people literally just dress alternative and like hanging out with other people who do and that's not bad, either.
all of these are okay things
as long as you acknowledge where you're at and not pretend to know more than you really do, you'll be fine. ultimately it means lot of things to a lot of different punks and just like any other identity, every punk will describe it slightly differently. i thought i was an outcast because i was the only real activist in that household, most other folks were there to be around like minded people who hate the way out society is run, and that's totally okay. if that's their vibe, that's their vibe. i can't tell them they're not punk, what would be the point of that? they play in and listen to punk bands. i'd be an idiot to tell them they're not really punk, you know?
you are the one who defines what punk looks like for you, as it is your experience. don't worry about someone else bothering you about it unless you've genuinely stepped out of line and said something potentially fascist, racist, queerphobic, etc. be open to genuine criticism but if someone gives you shit for not knowing some obscure detail about punk history it's not worth your time. i literally knew a punk girl who ran an anarchist reading club and she herself didn't read the book and just listened to everyone else talk about it and discerned her opinion from there.
punks come in all kinds- however:
THE ONLY WAY TO NEVER, EVER BE PUNK IS TO BE A NAZI, COP, OR OTHER KIND OF FASCIST. queerphobes, abelists, racists and their enablers aren't welcome either.
that's the main takeaway, if you ask me. i hope that helps, i have imposter syndrome with a few mental health things so i understand, it's a pain in the ass. if you have any more questions feel free to ask!
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spacemonkeysalsa · 9 months ago
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Astarion's scars as a tattoo, yeah or nah?
tl;dr - that's a hard nah from me
I'm pretty heavily tattooed, but I don't have any pop culture tattoos, yet. I am considered a few different pop culture tattoos, including some bg3 related ones. Astarion is my favorite character, and I am definitely not getting his scars, but another pop culture tattoo I have considered at multiple points in the past is the brand of sacrifice from Berserk.
If you're not familiar, it's a popular tattoo among Berserk fans and it functions in universe as a sign that this person has been marked to be consumed in another person's ascension to godhood.
There is a pretty big difference between the brand of sacrifice and Astarion's brand though.
Those baring the brand of sacrifice in Berserk's universe are not slaves. The mark was not put upon them by their slaver. You can argue that they were similarly exploited, but it's not a one to one analogue with chattel slavery at all.
When I thought about getting Astarion's scars as a tattoo I immediately didn't feel right about it, and to be perfectly honest, I didn't recognize why I felt that way. I was not thinking about it deeply.
Later, after discussing it with my sister (who is covered in recognizable pop culture related tats) she managed to put my discomfort into words. Basically, she pointed out that the scars are a slave brand. There is historical significance to these kinds of marks, and it's use in the story of bg3 only emphasizes that.
What I'm describing is a very white woman, talking to another very white woman, like 7 months ago when we'd isolated ourselves and been playing the game nonstop and hadn't peaked in on the fandom yet, because we (correctly) thought that would probably be horrible.
And, I just say that, because I think that if the two of us could pick up on the implications of the scars, everyone else should probably be able to (at a minimum) understand this position when it's spelled out for them. If that's how uncomfortable we felt, in the privacy, basically of just our own minds, playing the game in a vacuum, I can't even imagine what it's like for black fans trying to participate in the fandom.
Ultimately, it is an individual's choice what tattoos they want to get, but the assertion that I've been seeing from people that they shouldn't be judged for it is just not correct. Judging people for their tattoos is totally allowed, actually. The kinds of tattoos that someone gets says a lot about them. I'm positive people judge me for my tattoos all the time, and they are allowed to do that. I have those insect knee-bending wing tattoos, I'm sure someone thinks those are dumb as hell.
So, I've had the chance to talk to a few people who wanted to get Astarion tattoos. I always tell them outright why I don't think they should get the scars and then I try to work with them to come up with something else. I've been prepared for pushback, but I actually haven't gotten any. I think people are more likely to be reasonable when you talk in person.
It's only in internet conversations between strangers that I see real pushback.
On the other side of things, I know the idea of identification with this character, and reclamation feels very powerful, and it's just not effective to try and convince people to have a totally different emotional response to something they experienced. So, I'm not surprised to see people double down in that context.
I wish empathy was enough. But, in case it's not, I'm actually going to try an adjacent angle, as a person who is covered in tattoos.
Let's talk about the most common reasons that people regret their tattoos: 1) They get big, bold, distinctive tattoos before they have a realistic idea of what their adult aesthetic and vibe will actually be (happens a lot to people who get serious and huge tattoos before age 25)
2) They experience a paradigm shift (often social, cultural, political, or artistic) that causes them to feel negatively about the tattoos they got in the past, and they subsequently have a negative relationship with them. Often, these people will start wearing clothing that covers the tattoos before they really confront the fact that they don't like them any more. It's a very hard thing to admit to yourself.
I can see how this particular tattoo doubly qualifies on all accounts.
I'm relieved that I didn't get all the tattoos that I wanted when I was in my late teens and early twenties. Like, fr, thank god I was poor and thought I'd go to hell, because all my tattoo ideas at that time in my life were exactly the kind of stuff I would have regretted later.
So, if you really want the scars, and you're feeling even more convinced than ever to do it because you're annoyed by how passionately some people argue against it and you want to prove that you can do what you want with your body, and that the meaning is immutable to you and can't possible change, keep in mind that regretting tattoos is very common, changing your mind is very common, and growing the hell up is inevitable.
Even the most innocuous tattoos with absolutely no broader implications might make you feel negatively about your own body one day, and no one wants that. That definitely wouldn't be the legacy that you want to attach to this tattoo.
There's a big difference between trying to control someone's behavior and trying to just be real with them about the increased likelihood that they will be unhappy with the tattoo at some point down the line. Like maybe after they make some black friends.
It might sound like I'm being flippant, but I am actually dead serious. With how many people are getting that tattoo right now, it's basically inevitable that some of them will one day learn or experience enough to completely change their opinion on this exact debate and then feel all kinds of gross about the tattoo.
And, to reiterate, I don't think that's as good an argument as just not doing it because you listened to black fans about how it made them feel and empathized. That should be enough.
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madamtrashbat · 10 months ago
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It's that time again for political posts in America and I have some thoughts. Ignore if you want.
Sometimes I really feel like people get so caught up in fucking white knight political ideology that the ensuing inaction causing the creeping rise of fascism or conservative assholery is seen as an inevitable instead of as a direct result of internet leftists sitting with their thumb up their asses because there's no ideologically pure candidate they can throw their weight behind. When the flood comes they'll be so smug as they drown because they saw this coming, especially because the person who was trying to stem the flood was using outdated tools so obviously this was inevitable.
Complacency and plans for BIG GRAND SWEEPING GESTURES that will rework the system in one fell swoop are always going to fail, and beyond that it's always going to cause more harm. Always. Your leftist utopia isn't going to suddenly appear one day if you post enough hot takes, things aren't going to change if you decide you don't like that someone has a differing opinion on high-speed rail systems than you and therefore they're basically a fascist and cannot be supported. Black and white doesn't exist in politics.
Elections are not just the president. It does suck that we get a choice of only two, and it's a bummer that the Democrat option is Joe Biden! I don't agree with everything he does, and I am certainly not in agreement with a good deal of what he does, but that does not change the fact that I'm going to vote for him, because the alternative is unfathomable, and quite frankly, there is a good list of what he's done that I approve of.
"Voting doesn't matter!" Respectfully you are stupid. Elections are not just for president. Do you know what senate seats are up for grabs this term? What's on your local ballots? Do any amount of cursory research and then join the conversation. People wouldn't try to keep you from voting if it didn't matter.
"Biden is too old!" Yes, I'd love a younger candidate, too, but what is sitting this election out going to do to fix it? Are you just going to hope a younger candidate appears out of nowhere? Or are you going to do the work to support candidates you do like?
"Biden is a centrist!" I cannot overstate how behind we are politically that Biden is literally the most left-leaning president we've ever had and it's only by participating in politics that we can keep pushing it even further. Democrats are historically more open to changing their minds than Republicans; I watched Obama move from not supporting marriage equality to signing it into fucking law in real time. How much work are you doing to help push our politics left beyond just angrily posting about how shit it all is?
"Two-party system sucks!" Big agree! How will not participating in it change it? Are there any smaller candidates, like reps, who agree with you? Can you support them to get us closer to a multi-party system?
"Palestine matters!" Could not agree more! Absolutely agree with you that the atrocities in Palestine need to end. Biden has a shaky stance on this at best, with a weird position of still supporting Israel as an ally and also condemning what they're doing, but he is not the first president to have a weird, fucked-up foreign policy and he's likely not going to be the last. But how well do you think Palestine will fare under Trump? Al Jazeera reported that Biden at least views that Palestine should be self-governed and supports a two-state solution, meanwhile, Trump unequivocally supports Benjamin Netanyahu, and said through his nepotism mouthpiece Jared Kushner that Palestine doesn't deserve statehood. What hope would Palestine have under another term of Trump?
"Trump and Biden (or) Democrats and Republicans are all the same anyway" if you actually believe this, and I mean truly believe this, then public education was absolutely and thoroughly wasted on you and I want you to personally repay the taxes that paid for it. Four years of Trump saw the overturn of Roe v. Wade by cramming unqualified conservative stooges into the Supreme Court, the reduction of the assistance provided by food stamps, the mishandling of a global pandemic that killed many thousands in the US alone, the US stepping away from climate action, and actual problems of exposing state secrets. Less than four of Biden have seen the enactment of the massive infrastructure bill, approval of an OTC birth control pill, a reworking of redlining laws that expands protections for home loan borrowers, cracking down on predatory overdraft fees from banks, incentivizing farmers to reduce carbon emissions, and enacting stronger punishments for companies that interfere with union votes and enacting more union protections. I'd say those are pretty big fuckin differences.
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Look.
I get it. This shit seems rough because we're going through it and we're tired. But refusing to be involved is a little like deciding to protest your quarterback being an asshole by standing still on the football field. Because the thing about that is that the other team's quarterback is ALSO an asshole, a huge fucking asshole, and even though he's not on the field right now, his line is still coming for you, and they're going to tackle you, despite you claiming you're not playing anymore. You're on the field whether like it or not. You might as well fight until you can convince your team to find a new quarterback.
You can't give in to despair. Anyone claiming Biden and Trump are the same are lying to you. A better future is possible, but only if you keep pushing. Stack the house and the senate with people that have the best policies and uplift them. Get involved in your community. Change starts at the smallest level, and it is enacted by you.
Remember how many states the Republicans lost that it took them gerrymandering to get back. We can do it.
But you can't think of it in black and white. You have to keep marching towards the horizon. Do not stop, ever. Keep pushing, and drag the people you can forward.
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demented-tours · 2 months ago
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Heart Shaped Conundrum
Several years ago, I was having dinner with a psychic (the point of the dinner was not, in fact, that she was psychic but rather that it was Tuesday, our usual dinner-and-dance-around-uncomfortable-conversation day). The small talk strayed from world events to politics to food restrictions to ghosts, and, as usual, we could only agree on the ghosts.
"Do you see them, now?" she asked.
And I sat there, bemused at the idea that seeing ghosts was apparently a developing skill. Like, maybe I'd attended classes or bought different glasses or spent a few hours a day upside down to change my alternate-reality perspective. "Not for a long time," I said.
Because I have seen ghosts. Just one or two. And one was more of a demonic entity, but close enough.
"Oh, well, that'll change."
She said this with the ominous tone of, "Winter is Coming" or, "So sorry, but it's cancer."
"Cool," I said, because somehow, I'd learned to pick my battles.
She eyed me and then launched into some story about childhood and a lost something-or-another and how when she found it, she knew who'd moved it and stolen it. Or maybe the story was about her sister sending her a scarf that an angry person made, and so it'd been burned in effigy. I honestly do not remember, as there are so many stories and non-sequitur, but something was said about an object and its history being generally Not Good. I made all the right noises and tried to identify if the pile of generally orange substance on my plate was cheese or pureed carrot.
"You should know all about that," she said. "Since that's just basic psychometry, and you've got that skill. Which is why you should know better than to wear that necklace. It's not good for you."
At that point, I paused, fork hovering near my mouth. My first thought was how did she know it was bad for me when she'd not touched the necklace in question. My second thought was that if I listened to her, I might actually start to believe I was some sort of psychic afterburn of a being here to channel aliens or find everyone's lost socks or something. My third thought was there is no rubric on appropriate responses to those moments when a psychic tells you that you have new and developing psychic skills in a tone that heavily implies you should have done this self-inventory years ago and already know this about yourself.
"Oh," I said. "Huh. Well. Is there any more of this cheese-carrot stuff?"
"It's mango."
"You're kidding."
"Don't wear the necklace again."
I mumbled something that sounded more like sure and less like okay, crazy, and got the hell out of there as fast as possible, which is just how Tuesday evenings went.
Fast forward to three weeks ago, when I finally couldn't stand it anymore and started to clear out a set of overflowing shelves over at my mother's house. I found a heart-shaped, wooden box with a lid. I stared at it.
"Oh," Mom said from her perch nearby. She enjoys watching me do things rather than participating. "Your father made that in shop when he was a boy. Or so he claimed. He left it here when he left."
And I wanted to say, Yes, I know. I remember when he left. I remember all that he left. Including the how and when and why he left me. What I said was, "Yeah, it used to be in the bathroom. It held cotton balls."
"Did it?"
I picked up the box and lifted the lid and there were still tufts of cotton stuck on the rough-hewn wood. And I stood there remembering being small and stuffing cotton balls in this thing until the lid floated. I remembered moving it 1000 times when I cleaned the bathroom counter. I remembered being fascinated with the way the lid tucked into the box.
And I remembered my dad. I could feel him and see a skinny boy in clothes too big because they'd recently belonged to someone else carefully carving out a lid to fit a box with a dremel tool. I saw the look of concentration and how it looked on the younger version of a face I'd always known from middle age.
"Take it home, if you want it," Mom said. "It's just been sitting here."
So I took it home. And now it's sitting around here. Out of place. And landing in the foreground any time I see it. The rest of the room slides backward, and the box is just there. And I've almost thrown it away a dozen times. I've almost polished it. I've almost agreed to hand it over to a friend for safekeeping to see if I missed it, but, honestly, nobody needs to deal with these ghosts but me.
And then I was in bed and I thought back to that conversation about the necklace (which I inherited from someone else, and I've never worn again). And I sat up and turned on the light and put on my glasses and stared at the necklace hanging on its stand across the room. I got up and wandered down the hallway and into my office, just the Christmas tree lights guiding me, and I stared at all the objects I keep in there. And I keep them because they hold memories.
There's the set of fuzzy dice bought on that first Valentine's Day.
There's the lamp I bought when I was anxious that day but went out anyway.
The table that my grandmother loved because of the shelves under it.
The elephant candle that lived in a curio cabinet in Mamaw's house, never burned, because she liked it too much to burn it.
The fairy box Mom gave me in college.
The rainbow candle I've had since the dorm room. I bought it at Target. When I touch it, I can see the store shelves and remember how I felt in that body and remember moving it to clean the shared desk and how that surface felt under my hands.
I blinked. I sighed. I said, "Well. Fuck."
The box is still sitting on a table in the kitchen. I'm sure the pictures in my head when I touch it are my imagination and sentimentality and have zero to do with psycho-anything. I've not yet seen ghosts. I've not taken classes in how to divine the location of lost socks.
But there's a history in that rough wood that both is and isn't mine, and it hurts a little, to think of that history in a plastic bag and then a landfill.
And it makes me think of how we label everyday magic that isn't magic at all. Or maybe it IS, and that's what magic truly is and how it works.
Either way, there's a heart-shaped box on my table that I'm almost afraid to touch.
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randomfrog2 · 2 years ago
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As a passionate fan of space operas I NEEDED to do this. So yea. Space opera AU with twisted boiz.
Part 1
Heartslabyul
Space police, basically.
Their main office is located on space station that's called "Garden of Roses" and looks pretty much like a big white rose with red spots. One could say this station is so big that it's more of a maze than a space station.
Riddle Rosehearts.
The youngest lieutenant in the history of Komissarium (name of space police).
Very strict with schedule, and follows charter every day, every second.
"Newbies, I expect you all to follow regulations or else," on LITERALLY every briefing.
He has his gun for a reason. But he's strong even without the gun. One time Ace challenged him, thinking that Riddle as weak as he seems to be. Ace was almost broken in half so he has never ever said anything about Riddle's strength after.
He can seems cold sometimes, but he really cherishes his co-workers, not only that, he remembers their birthdays and favourite presents.
He has little neuro pad for that.
Actually, he has neuro pad for every occasion in his life.
"Didn't know? Cabinet of lieutenant Rosehearts is known as cleanest place in Universe. If I was you, I would just leave these papers near his door. I don't want even imagine what he'll do if you leave those in a wrong folder."
Ace Trappola.
He became part of Komissarium not so long ago, but he showed some skills in one case, where he was working as partners with Deuce Spade.
He can be dum-dum sometimes, but he's sharp when he's on a crime scene.
And he's pretty strong.
...but uses his strength for winning in arm wrestling against his colleagues (he has collection of food talons, I tell you what)
As it was said he lost to Riddle once. So now he has some pretty strong motivation to go the gym.
"What do you mean we can't cooperate with criminals? Talking about wasted potential..." he said and after that he had a long conversation with Trey about things you can say in office.
Local menace to society.
Deuce Spade.
He's also a newbie with some potential.
... especially in chasing.
Although Riddle forbid him and Ace to do so, they participated in local racing around small planets.
By the way their number was 69 and Ace couldn't stop laughing.
They also almost hit satellite of a planet.
He has pretty low scores on exams, but his pilot exams scores always 90 or higher.
Ace is being salty about that so Deuce brags even more about it.
"That's just about that feeling to fly in space that I can't get enough of. One day I'll be a captain on one, just you wait!"
Trey Clover.
Not the oldest, but everyone joke about his age anyway.
You forgot to do your papers for Riddle? He got you. You have worked all night and run out of coffee? He got you.
He got you in any way.
He helped Ace and Deuce in their first case although he tried his best to not interfere.
Trey is known for his diplomatic skills, so he more often escorts important political parties on planets and space stations rather than seeking for offenders.
And, of course, he's often in the office together with Cater.
Some might say those two have a romance, but nether of them have ever accepted that.
"I haven't seen my family in a long time. They're on Earth currently. Maybe I should take Cater with me the next time I visit them. Why? No reason at all. That's what friends do, right?"
Cater Diamond.
Works in office and knows EVERY rumor there.
This guy has somewhat magical skills in knowing how Riddle would like to see papers being sorted, so everyone ask him for advice.
He is a pretty good navigator.
Also, he knows a lot of people on planets and systems that out of reach of most investigators' connections.
And even Riddle can take him on a case so Cater can help with witnesses.
Drinks a lot of coffee in their buffet, but only Trey and Ace know that coffee that he drinks is extremely BITTER.
Ace knows that because his cheeky ass decided to try Cater's coffee without permission one time.
"Look, I reeeealllyyy would like to do that work but tonight I'm going home early. They have opened new club on 50th floor so I want to go there. Thanks for filling those papers tho! You're da best"
Komissarium has around 52 spaceships. Riddle's favourite one is Queen of Hearts. It looks like big sharp black heart with four powerful interstellar engines that look a lot like white roses with red spots. Also this ship is the only one that has anti-field that can turn off enemy's engines completely for a long period of time. Employees of Komissarium joke that this ship can have the head of other ship.
The one that was used by Ace and Deuce in race is called Five of Hearts.
Five of Hearts looks like a big white card with popping out belly. Belly has a form of sharp heart, one side of which is dark blue and the other one is red. Ship has five interstellar engines, but they are way weaker than the ones that Queen of Hearts has.
"This ship can't lose! Its name is so close to legendary 'Queen of Hearts'. And I believe five is a good number. So I'm sure we're betting on right horse here." (by Ace, before the race)
"C'mon now, dear, we need some more speed to win. We have our limits doubled here!" (by Deuce)
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dwindlinghaze · 1 year ago
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hi i hope you doing good. Can i have 🪞🩰 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.
hello and ty for participating in my 500 celebration
here's your 🪞 in case you didn't see
☾⋆。𖦹 °✩
🩰 : i ship you with sirius black
╰┈➤ sirius thinks your poker slash furrowed face is cute. imagine him just giggling at himself by just seeing you.
"you're crazy," you said without glancing up at him. the pair of eyes that belonged to sirius black had been glued to you for the past thirty minutes. he admired the slight wrinkle formed in between your brows as the cause of furrowing them too much. "im not crazy, i'm admiring," his voice rasp and low. your face heated up but your poker face was never gone.
╰┈➤ at first it was hard for sirius to approach you. seemed like his charm wasn't working so he had no choice but to find another way. you rarely talks or starts conversations with people, the opposite of him. but it doesn't mean that you're completely unsociable.
╰┈➤ opening up to express your feelings took a while. he understood that though because he knew that some things are hard to communicate and it's not because you dislike him. so by that he gives you space and time for you to ease up in order for you to ease up your inner emotions.
╰┈➤ during the times where you were still getting to know each other, he'd do most of the talking. telling you about his hobbies, friends, favourite places, and you listen. you prefer to listen. that doesn't mean that you don't give him responses.
"-so yeah, i spent that whole day with my friends and i cherish them so," he finished at last, glancing over at you who had your brows furrowed as you listened to his words. that day you wore a soft coloured shirt with flowers embroidered from the edges. "you look beautiful today, darling," he mentioned. "thank you siri," you let out an airy chuckle as you closed your eyes briefly, face relaxing. you tilt your head to the side to see him, your brows knitted once more as you took out a piece of dirt from his hair.
╰┈➤ sirius definitely loves the fact that you're helpful and 'mom friend'. growing up in a household of injustices and cruelty, he didn't have anyone to look out for him. he felt truly adored whenever you gave him a helping hand mindlessly.
you noticed how he was struggling to ask for the eye catching piece his eyes got caught on the store display. he was pointing rather stupidly at the glass pane while the storekeeper was trying their best to understand what he's doing. "uh- il vout la épingle," you said finally and the keeper nodded straight away. sirius looked at you curiously, raising his brow. you know everything. really.
╰┈➤ you mentioned that physical touch isn't something you enjoy so he knows how to respect that. besides, he's much better at words anyway so it wasn't a big thing that bothered him.
╰┈➤ visiting old antique shops is an activity you love. seeing the old precious objects that time forgot, vintage smells all through the store, and how it felt like travelling back to time.
you stumbled across a dusty sculpture of a human face but only with one eye made out of mahogany. "oh my god siri look!" you whispered as you tugged on his jacket. sirius made a weird face, pressing his lips together. "what is that creature?" said he in pure fright. "that's a cyclops, i've never seen it in 3d before. cool huh?"
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winter-spark · 1 year ago
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Alright so rudely one day I posted that My Grand Plan is a Tangerine and Navel song with 0 explanation, curse my headache. So now let me try to put the feelings I have about them and that song into words.
First let's discuss Tangerine, who is probably a more obvious fit for the song. Tangerine is the youngest of 4 and wasn't at all a part of the competition really because of it. But let's break it down by lyrics I feel like can line up with Tangerine.
You know the only gift my mom ever gave me? A hat that makes you invisible You put it on and no one can see you Seemed appropriate
So as I said Tangerine, is the youngest of 4. His brothers fighting for the throne, but he didn't really seem to be considered for it. He was thus invisible in the sense that automatically what he did meant less in the grand scheme of things. As for the first line, reading HQ made me feel like all Tangerine really had for the longest time was Citron. He didn't have a person like Guy, Mika or Orange's subordinate, seeing as Mika originally worked for Guy and now works for Tangerine and we don't see him interact with any subordinates besides Mika in that arc right? Plus Citron said he spent more time with Guy than either of his parents, I'm assuming that none of them spent the most time with their parents, but to me, Tangerine definitely spent the least time with his. I think his mom was completely mia. So yea.
This part in summary is to point out his estranged or well nonexistent relationship with his mother(and probably distant relationship with his dad), and how he was really the least paid attention to of his siblings.
I've always been a smart girl Always made the grade, always got the gold star I've always been a smart girl But smart girl only gets a girl so far
Once again the least paid attention to but he obviously had some instincts and stuff for a while as I believe in HQ Citron mentions how he'd always seen Tangerine's potential but now their father has too. Tangerine is smart and capable kid who has good ideas and when calm enough can make quick decisions as shown in Year 2. He didn't just spawn those traits they've been there. But it only got "rewarded"/noticed when he literally had to use those skills of his to direct the people out of a burning theater and the rest of his brothers had reason to be removed from the throne.
I think a lot of other lyrics are kinda vague or cross-over or whatever so let's discuss Navel next.
I've always been a tough girl Always been the one not to run from a fight Always been a tough girl 'Cause most girls never win if they're polite
Okay, so this is one of the not one-to-one situations I mentioned in the tags of the og post I'm talking about. (except I didn't have it completely analyzed at that point lol) Navel was in the running, so he's been actively fighting for the crown. He didn't back out even though his chances of taking the throne were extremely low, he stayed in the running enough that people preferred, either Orange or him over Citron. He was doing as well as he could for someone who wasn't going to win. And he knew he'd never win, not himself anyway.
So me, I tend to stand my ground I found I never can give in It may not be my quest But maybe it's mine to win
He was actively participating in the conversations and planning to get Orange to the throne. He couldn't beat out Citron and win the throne himself. But he can help his closer brother, Orange, do so. And he was there for it, he was an accomplice. Even if at times he seemed a bit hesitant he didn't back out or leave he stuck by Orange's side. He was gonna see it through.
Okay so a couple more thoughts then I'll wrap this up.
My grand plan Is that I will be remembered My grand plan Just you wait and see You better wise up, 'cause I'll rise up
They both feel like characters who would desire more but in different ways.
For Tangerine, I think he more never knew really he could have more. More in this case being trusted with the big responsibility of being heir. Sure a lot of responsibility could be a lot of pressure, but also he's being trusted to be the Kingdom's leader and on a much shorter timeline than Citron had. And he's doing well in preparation. So tying back in the lines, I think he's ready for the future to do more to show everyone what he's capable of.
For Navel, I think it's more of the longing for the throne. I've already stated he was never gonna win. Not in most scenarios. And I think that's something that would've always been apparent to him. He wants to be respected to be held in high regard so he's trying with all his might to be a good alternative heir, but all he gets really is the people who don't want it to be Citron basically being if not Orange than Navel. He's a spare for the spare and as cool as it is that his name is mentioned in the running he's still always only considered after Orange. He's still not an entity of his own. He's "or Navel". And it's the result of his fighting, but as I said, while he was able to get himself well known, he'd never beat Citron so as much as he wants to, the best he can really do is help Orange but that's all getting beside the point. The point being he wanted to be recognized and fighting for the throne was his best bet for that.
And your dad won't give you the time of day
This is definitely a cross-over line. I'm sure they saw the king but like also he's probably busy with Kingly duties or something. Especially because they were both at the end of the line, I'm sure that they had even less time with the King than Citron had. I honestly hesitate to reference Citron saying he spent more time with Guy than with his parents because like the amount of time he spent with Guy based on backstage stories and events, it wasn't hard for him to spend more time with Guy over his parents. However seeing as in the backstage "Innocence of the Royal Palace" it's revealed that there was a caretaker at the castle, there were definitely probably times that could've been spent with their dad but weren't because they were left with the caretaker instead.
But I promise you I'll never be invisible again Someone will notice Me
Whether they know/knew it or not yet, they do have someone who notices them each. Citron and Orange. (I strongly feel that Orange is to Navel, as Citron is to Tangerine) Citron and Orange are clearly each of their closest companions and maybe they don't fully count but I know having them there with them was definitely a big help for them growing up. Tangerine and Navel would've been a lot sadder if not close to them, I think. Like if their lives were the same just minus the close bond they have with the brother they have one with.
HOWEVER I do want to point out that even those two probably didn't have a full acknowledgement of them, or at least it felt like it at times. Citron and Orange were the closest to the throne so that's where a lot of their focus went so even though they were close with Tangerine and Navel, respectively. There's no way Tangerine and Navel didn't ever feel sidelined or somewhat less important by those two.
Like Tangerine was like "lets look at who's performing at the Ceremony :3" and Citron was like "actually I'm tired", while Tangerine surely understood I'm sure he also felt down. Like his brother, the person probably closest to him has been mia for like 2 or so years now, and he's been busy with the coronation stuff, you ask for maybe five minutes of his time but "of course you shouldn't have he's needs rest, his rest is important you should've thought of that before asking" and like I'm just using that as an example of what their childhoods might've at times been like. Like obviously there were lots of good times but also, Citron was in his own world sometimes so Tangerine would, of course, sometimes feel like dang. And how many times was it Tangerine asking to hang out with Citron rather than vice versa?
And on the end of Navel and Orange, I highly doubt they actively discussed discussed the way that Navel is working just as hard for the throne but he ends up Team Orange/not Citron rather than Team Navel and it doesn't come up in their conversations. When they're finalizing the mia Citron plan. Orange isn't like "this is the last chance we have to keep Citron from becoming King" he's more like "this is the last chance for me to become King" to his brother who is also in the running and I know I know Navel was gonna never win but he has to feel some sort of way about it. Like I'm sure that wording it like that was just an oversight but also how many times do you think Orange may have said something like that and not noticed the possible underlying pain it may have cause Navel because, well they are on the same team, why would that cross his mind? And why would Navel say anything, Orange is next, "why he's just stating facts. Why argue and possibly put yourself at odds with your best friend over something true. Yea, you're also fighting for the throne but like what are the chances you're actually gonna get it, a lot less than Orange's that's for sure." Does Navel have a subordinate?
But whatever to all that, now times have changed and adjusted. They're gonna get to have all their brothers see them and learn who they are more. Tangerine has Mika, people want his input and his ideas and he gets to work to implement them/things, Navel can discover himself outside of the throne and people want to know what he's finding interesting now(even if for now it's just his brothers asking how his studies are going). And honestly, I think all in all that's what they really wanted, to be cared about and seen and taken an interest in.
(I really wanted to end off positively so I hope that last part makes sense lol.)
Also here's a link to the song in case you want to listen to it and think about them now ^^ :
youtube
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insideous-beez · 2 years ago
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I need to share my headcannons regarding Lilia, Sebek and Silver helping Yuu and Malleus raise a small litter of children, plus some MalYuu parent HCs:
Lilia would be thrilled to be a grandpa and would happily watch little ones full time if needed. The tiny dragons might end up confused because they think he is their actual grandpa on whichever side married into the Draconias. Malleus would be around as a father figure, of course! He has whoever the royal equivalent of a secretary is schedule his day such that he always can spend a couple of hours with his children. Even if he is traveling to build political relationships, he has a magical item that allows him to speak to Yuu and his kids. It's more stable than electronics since it doesn't require any wifi.
And if Malleus happens to be truly too busy to take time out of his work day? Well, he can stop time within a magically closed space. He has definitely enchanted his bedroom (which I imagine to have a small lounge-like area in front of a fireplace as well) to become one of these closed spaces so he can literally halt time for a few hours and be with his family. He will not risk having his children feel the same loneliness he felt. When he has the time, Malleus also likes to participate in the tutoring of his kids. Especially if it's his favorite subject, Defensive Magic. The little ones get very excited when they're old enough to learn how to protect their human parent with magic!
Speaking of children and magic: Yuu needs a defensive magic charm to stay safe when alone with their kids, at least until the kids learn how to control their own power better. A powerful magical baby dragon fae is a force to be reckoned with. Thankfully, since Defensive Magic is Mal's specialty, he can craft such a charm that simply absorbs the magical energy when it gets too close to Yuu! I imagine this was planned WAY before the kids were born. Malleus's top priority is keeping his family safe.
Sebek and Silver would be trustworthy retainers for the little ones. Sebek would WEEP joyfully when they call him "Uncle 'bek" in the cute way tiny children learning how to make noises do. He'd read to the kids often in their down time and, if they're getting bored of lessons, he could easily turn history into more exciting descriptive narratives to capture their attention. It's very different than the way Lilia recounts his first-hand experiences. Since Sebek struggled to learn magic himself (he wasn't a "natural" like others) he'd be exceptionally effective and patient with helping the little ones work through subjects they struggle with.
Silver would nap with the kids and, if they wake up crying, he would have no issues with calming them down and falling back asleep immediately. He's the one they go to if they're upset but don't want to talk about it. A relaxing and comfortable presence, a chill uncle. They also love going on walks with Silver because small woodland creatures flock to him that would otherwise avoid the children for their intimidating magical presence, much like their father's. Silver teaches them how to be gentle with animals which is super helpful for the kids to understand how different their draconic strength is! By the time they start to interact with other children their age, they know how to not "overdo it."
Yuu is probably the best influence in teaching the kids how to make friends. Most of the Diasomnia crew is unapproachable and Lilia may be outgoing but he is... intimidating in his own unique way. So it's Yuu's job to teach the kids how to start a NORMAL conversation. Even if the rest of the crew is around, Yuu is good at dispelling a tense atmosphere. Having a normal ass human tell off a big powerful fae or laugh at a dry joke makes other people (read: potential friends for the little fae) realize that the Diasomnia crew don't intend harm. They're just a little... weird.
The kids also wouldn't dare disobey Yuu simply because Yuu doesn't have magic. Oh, no. Being scolded by Yuu is somehow worse than being scolded by Lilia. Not in a mean way, but moreso because Yuu has the ENERGY of someone who has stared down Overblots many times and will accept zero bullshit. Yuu usually doesn't give scoldings, so when they do, the kids know it's serious.
Imagine how hilarious it is when a literal dragon fae prince (king at this point?) and a human without magic are ready to scold their kids and the kids are more afraid of the human.
Just a personal thought: I can see Malleus wanting more than one child. He probably spent some time of his childhood wishing he had a sibling like the other kids at Briar Valley, so he wouldn't be so lonely.
But only if Yuu is okay with it, of course!
Honestly I feel the same lol. His mentality probably revolves (and will always be stuck) around "the more the merrier". Maybe he wouldn't even mind a dozen, since you could throw a party everyday with that many people. 💀
I do see him being suggestive at every appropriate chance too, since we know he has seductive tendencies around Yuu at times. He'll be hard at work maintaining a work-life balance in equilibrium haha!
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ms-demeanor · 3 years ago
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Last weekend I ended up in a very long and terrible conversation with some people who had a hardcore case of just world fallacy.
At least, that's how I describe it when people believe that everyone has direct control over their health. I talked to them about going back to school for nutrition and wanting to maybe do public health education stuff and it was off to the races. I think at one point one of them actually said "I don't want to take medical advice from someone who doesn't spend twelve hours a week in the gym" which is just. It just gives you a very good idea about how they prioritize things.
And anyway I pointed out that their definition of "healthy" would exclude plenty of people who were well educated about health but couldn't participate in a marathon. I used asthma as an example, and they pointed out that there are some people at their gym who have trained in specific ways that their asthma doesn't interfere with their exercise - they believe that these people at their gym have essentially "cured" their asthma.
And it was a shitty and bad conversation to have and I didn't walk away from it feeling any better about the world and they didn't walk away from it any less inclined to listen to what Robert F. Kennedy is saying about vaccines.
Anyway, I just happened across a blog that was discussing how you can use spiritual energy to change your physical characteristics. This was based on some totally huckster, spoon-bending, cold-reading type tricks as confirmation of the practice working.
And sometimes people ask me what's the harm in faith or spirituality and honestly I don't think that faith or spirituality are inherently harmful, but I *do* think that believing that you can change your physical, financial, medical, romantic, or political system through spiritual practice *is* harmful, and I think it's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from that to believing things like "fat people are fat because they're lazy" or "if you're poor it's because you're not working hard enough" or "everyone can be healthy."
"You get back the energy you put into the world" is actually a terrifying insight into someone's worldview because I know a lot of kind, determined, hard-working, intelligent people who make good decisions who get into horrible car accidents or who lose their jobs and housing or who have been thrown out of their home by bigoted family members or who get cancer.
So if your faith is important to you and is helpful to you, that's great. I'm glad that you have that.
But if your faith teaches you that good things happen to good people or that bad people get what's coming to them, you may need to do some hard thinking about whether that belief has impacted your worldview in a way that is doing harm. (Or if it's harming you! I promise, if you're having a bad time in the world today it is NOT because you are insufficiently observant of your spiritual practices!!)
Like, we know that's where the new satanic panic is coming from, right?
"These DEMOCRATS are bad people and yet they still have power and money and influence and in a just world they would not have those things so they must LITERALLY BE IN LEAGUE WITH SATAN." It's why "god always wins" is a Qanon slogan. (And it must be noted that that is at least partially the result of virulent antisemitism that then causes an outgrowth of more virulent antisemitism).
But yeah, you can't willpower your way out of asthma (though you can increase and improve aerobic capacity and you can take medications to manage it enough that you may be able to participate in cardio-intensive sports), you can't use mental energy to change your eye color, and being born in November doesn't make someone an asshole.
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avintagekiss24 · 4 years ago
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Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.
Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.
So, on with the discourse!
The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?
The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.
The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?
The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.
I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 
I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.
I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.
If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.
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edgysaintjust · 3 years ago
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Hey! On anon because I always feel kinda stupid for asking about Frev things that I feel like everyone assumes I should already know about, but can you tell me about Fabré, Hérault, and/or Herbois? I really don't know much about any of them and you seem pretty knowledgeable. Thanks!
Nothing to feel stupid about, we are all constantly learning sth new there! I’m glad if I can help with some revolutionaries and if you find them interesting enough to know sth more. Hope I don’t mansplain this ;)
Hérault de Séchelles was a former noble and a member of the Committee of Public Safety. One of the five people assigned to work on the Constitution of 1793, elected twice as a president of the National Convention, cousin of madame de Polignac and, apart from being a charming and light-hearted gentleman, an over all devoted revolutionary. We had mentions of Hérault participating in the storming of Bastille, but as I was recently informed it is not clear what he did there (and we don’t have any direct/more reliable sources). Just like most 1760s babies he was fascinated by Rousseau, paid 20k livres for an exclusive copy of Nouvelle Heloise, and travelled around France, being even invited to Buffon’s residence and discussing things with him. He wrote shorter, theoretical books, in which some of his thoughts were written down, both in prose, not genius in terms of expressing any idea that would turn the world upside down, but well showing his intellectual and observant nature. As a noble, he received a good education and showed much eloquence and sarcasm in a conversation, and his looks, intelligence and charm attracted many ladies and men. Well, he was also known as the hottest man of the century, after all. 
Hérault was executed along with the Dantonists, but unlike them, he was suspected for being involved in spying, having connections with emgigrees and possibly leaking the files of the CPS. Despite having little ties with the rest of the Dantonists, they died on the same day. The accusations of Hérault participating in any foreign conspiracy were most likely far from the truth. Also, he had an orgy grotto.
*
Fabre was a travelling actor and dramatist, who later in his life decided to participate in politics and the Revolution, joining the Jacobin club and siding with some of the key figures, like Danton and Camille Desmoulins, with whom he also worked in the ministry of justice as a secretary. He wasn’t the embodiment of all virtues, and not necessarily representing any specific ideology with passion, speaking rather rarely at both the Convention and Jacobins, and not expressing his full talent and charisma in the short speeches which proves he wasn’t extremely devoted to politics and preferred to watch the meetings with his opera lorgnette. An opportunist willing to cause trouble and make shady deals. He was, however, expressing some of his stronger views (ex. against the Gironde) and was often assigned with important tasks. 
He’s mostly known for coming up with the names for months and days in the French Republican Calendar, which was used as a revolutionary replacement of the gregorian calendar, and, unfortunately, his participation in falsifying a certain decree and illegally profiting from liquidating French East India Company, one of his many crazy intrigues. His opportunism, greed and love for intrigue led him to be accused of falsification and malversation, and guillotined on the same day as Hérault. But besides all the politics, he was a very romantic and messy mischievous man, and an excellent and sadly underappreciated poet. He didn’t have an orgy cave, but after his death a jar of pickles and three dried plums were found in his apartment so guess it’s even. We don’t know how, but just like Hérault he was a ladies man, (although a womanizer is a better word in his case). Most importantly, he has a bunch of hilarious and totally crazy youthful adventures to entertain us with.  
His theatrical career doesn't belong to the most succesfull ones, but his skills and ease with the pen are certainly more admirable than the 18c public judged. After all, even his name has its roots here - d'Eglantine was added by him to the last name as a poetical particle taken from the contest he won with a sonnet in his youth. The golden eglantine was an award for prose, and not poetry, which was rewarded with a silver lily, but Fabre chose to go with the other one as it was more original and perhaps thought "du Lys", associated with the family of Jeanne d'Arc, was a little too much.
*
Collot d’Herbois shared the profession with Fabre, just like the previous man he was making a living as an actor for a few years, later to become a dramatist and a director. He was way more successful than Fabre back in the day, and his play, Lucie, has even been staged abroad. The two men met before the Revolution in Lyon, an unfortunate city in which Collot will later be assigned with a pacifying mission along with Fouché and three other men, together responsible for massacres occurring there. As an actor, Collot has been most often a leader of his troupes and showed much talent even at the beginning of his career, but he was known to have quite a fiery temper, intimidating audiences with his villain performances and taking a lot of pride in his profession. In the Committee of Public Safety, he represented a radical hébertist wing with his boyf buddy Billaud-Varenne, clashed with Robespierre a lot (almost throwing him out of a window), and, long story short, once almost ended up being assassinated, mistaken for him, which caused more quarrels in case politics wasn’t enough. Together with Billaud, Collot will take a huge part in plotting the Thermidorian Reaction, and be banished to French Guyana for the radicalism represented. The tropical holidays were not the happiest for the former CPS members, as both came down with yellow fever, which, in Collot's case, resulted in his death in 1795. 
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whetstonefires · 2 years ago
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When that post about 'denied the catharsis of punishment' being an awesome narrative consequence goes around I always think of Jiang Cheng.
A lot of the reason he's so fucked up thirteen years later, in my opinion, is that he feels deeply guilty about his involvement in both the chain of events that led to the battles at Nightless City and the Burial Mounds, and his participation in the Siege.
But this is a guilt he can't process because the shared narrative is that he's the good guy in that story. That he righteously put down a villain, and there are no ugly bits around that other than the tidy tragedies of his sister and brother-in-law being most unrighteously murdered.
And he needs that narrative! Probably more than anyone else! He aggressively defends it! But he knows there's a lot of bullshit in it, and he'd be much better off mentally if he, like Lan Wangji, could have been forced to pay for his transgressions.
Like maybe less physical damage would be preferable because that's fucked up, but punishment in its function as expiation ritual can do a lot to help process the dirty pain of culpability.
If Jiang Cheng tried to take the guilt-trauma on directly, one-on-one, he'd have to figure out alone what he actually did wrong and what to admit fault for, and keep walking into the pain and shame even when he hit points where he got furiously angry at a person he'd hurt for actual reasons that were all tangled up with fake reasons, and it's too much.
He can't experience those emotions and make those judgment calls at the same time, by himself. It's impossible. Human beings don't work that way. Especially not people who aren't all that good at emotions in the first place. Especially if they have to keep doing a high-pressure job at the same time.
Especially if there's no opportunity for closure because the central figure in the trauma is dead and not answering his calls!
But he can't take it to anyone else for help with the processing because 1) his pride 2) he's alone 3) most of the people he might theoretically maybe be able to talk about it with are also complicit in the part where they murdered a bunch of noncombatants and threw their bodies into the soul-entrapping blood pit so there was no risk of ghost vengeance, and collectively pretended they had no qualms and weren't worried about the Yiling Patriarch's ghost coming back to Get Them. So they've got an unspoken mutual pact to not open that can of worms.
Nie Huaisang would actually have been Jiang Cheng's best bet, in terms of people he could usefully unburden himself to, before Nie Mingjue died. Not because he's especially empathetic but because he's involved enough to keep up with the nuances but not enough to really care, and is of comparable status without actually being a political actor.
But of course neither of them would ever actually start that conversation.
spicy mdzs idea, someone asks nie huaisang why he didn't try to reach out to jiang cheng to form some kind of alliance of Sect Leaders Fucked Over By The Jin as an alternative to a decade of clinging and fawning on his enemy while he got his pieces lined up. after all, the jiang weren't involved in the murder. did he think jin ling was too close a tie?
and he says nah. it's because of what happened to wei wuxian.
not like, wwx was his friend so he was mad on his behalf. nothing sentimental like that.
but because if that was what became of basically jiang cheng's favorite person in the world once he became a liability, nie huaisang wouldn't even rate. first second he was vulnerable and inconvenient, wham, that's the end of the nie.
he thinks it's ridiculous anyone would imagine he'd have considered trusting jiang wanyin with anything important for a split second.
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acciocriativity · 4 years ago
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You and Me || Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader
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Summary: It's always been you and Draco since you can remember, the invincible duo, the two of you against the world but some things have changed along the way and it's not news to any soul at Hogwarts but it's time your parents knew too. 
 Word Count: 2,8k
A/N: I took a bit to finish but here it is your story @x-dratie-x. I hope you all like it! Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this oneshot, Voldemort didn’t exist at all but the events of the first war and its consequences still is valid, but with another wizard.
Warnings: A very very slightly sexual conversation and that's all
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1987  
  I didn't want to be at that dinner, I didn't want to have to listen all day long to how well I should behave because the Malfoy's were such an important family or something. 
I had plans for the week, I would go with our elf to buy more art supplies and I was allowed to spend the day outside the house, just drawing the landscape. 
My parents never let me participate in events like this, because I might mess up, say something inappropriate for the moment, or whatever excuse they decided to make up. But out of the blue, I was told that I would have to be there. Why? I couldn't understand and I didn't even ask them, what good would it do? None. 
The day was only getting worse and worse by the hour for me, I just wanted to take off that dress and go play but I couldn't, obviously. So I did what was left to me, smile and eat politely without making any noise or comments, not that there were any comments I would like to make. I had no idea what they were talking about, it was absolutely boring. The only thing that made me feel slightly better were my own thoughts and the fact that their son was as bored as I was. 
We knew each other because of some casual encounters between our parents but never had the opportunity to talk to each other, because of course, only grown-ups talk.
But it seems that I drew the long straw after a horrible day, after dinner Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were invited to stay a little longer and I was excused along with Draco to play.  
I could hardly believe it, I wouldn't have to sit there and smile for another 45 minutes, my happiness couldn't be measured at that moment. Not even waiting for my mother to say it again, I stood up and said goodbye politely with a smile before walking up the stairs and I could hear footsteps following me somewhat hesitantly but I didn't care at the moment. 
"Come on, let's go play in my room", I exclaimed with a huge smile and threw the bow tie, which was pinning my hair, on the floor and quickly walked over to it uncaringly.
 I missed his shocked expression but as soon as we reached my door, he made sure to make it clear to me. 
"Do your parents let you do that?", the question made no sense in my head but stopping to think about it now, it makes sense, he should always be flawless. 
"They don't care as long as it's not in front of guests, you won't tell them, right?", his greyish blue eyes reflected mine and for a few seconds I thought that was a beautiful effect.
 He looked away from me and nodded slightly in agreement, his face covered in shyness and I just squealed with delight. I opened the door and pulled him inside, his hand was so cold that I thought about taking one of my jackets and handing it to him. 
"So what do you want to do? I have some toys in my closet, I'll get them", I walked happily to the door and proceeded to try to decide what I would want. Some was not the best word, there were a lot of them, far more than I would ever use. 
 I came back with a big mulberry box that I've only been able to carry within the last year and placed it on my bed but he didn't even notice, he was looking at my drawings. 
"Oh, you liked them. I wish I had done one more today, do you want to try?", I asked him and walked over to the table where my sheets were. 
"Yeah, they're not too bad", he stated nonchalantly and I didn't believe him for a moment but I chose to keep my mouth shut for once. 
 I picked up two white sheets, two quills and sat down quietly on the floor, since I didn't have two chairs for the two of us but it seems he wasn't used to that. 
"Come on, hurry up, your parents won't be here forever", I patted the seat next to me and soon he sat down as well, I noticed his posture still uncomfortable and my goal for the day turned to change that, if only for 5 minutes. 
 From that day on, we became closer and our parents obviously understood and liked that, because we were strengthening their relationship and at no point that crossed my mind. I was just happy to be supported by my parents to visit Draco. 
1991
 My Hogwarts letter had arrived some weeks ago and I hadn't let go at any point, going to Diagon Alley had become a completely different experience and I couldn't wait, but I had to because I pleaded with my and his parents so that we would go together.
But the day had finally arrived and I had to contain all my energy to not look like an out of control little girl, nothing out of the ordinary but today was more difficult because I was genuinely happy. I was always genuinely happy with my only real friend. 
"Y/N, you must hurry or we are going to be late", I could hear my mother's voice from downstairs just as I finished putting on my flats. 
 As it was a very important occasion I had chosen my favorite outfit, even my parents were a little excited too. They had told me that they had met at Hogwarts and that I would find someone from a good family at Slytherin as well. This part was completely ignored by me but they never found out about it. 
"I'm here mom, we won't be late", I said as soon as I came down the stairs and approached them without running. We were near the fireplace and I mentally thanked them for not having to apparate, because it was always a horrible experience for me.
"Okay, I'll go first and you two right after", my father made sure to announce although he always goes first when we go out like that.   
 After a few minutes, we arrived in front of Flourish & Blotts and there was the imposing Malfoy family. After a small talk in which I had no interest in paying attention to, we all went inside and we were finally able to talk while our parents were engaged in a conversation with the attendant. 
"I've already said it once and I'll say it again, I honestly don't understand how you're not that excited, it's Hogwarts", I whispered to him as we walked through the messy shelves full of books. 
"It doesn't seem like a great thing after hearing it so many times", I could clearly see that there was something more there, I had known him long enough to know that and also that he wouldn't tell me easily. 
"Okay, so you're telling me that you're not the least bit excited to leave Malfoy Manor to start your life?", his lips twitched trying to hold back a smile, his eyes shifted from mine, looking for something to distract himself. 
 But I could stop him, my cunning little hands went to his waist tickling that area before he could prevent me from doing so. That was enough to make him laugh, although he denied that he was ticklish every time I asked. 
This attack did not end well for me, because revenge existed in his vocabulary and was even overused. I had to run, as fast as I could, and it still didn't work. 
And why? Because I went to a dead end corridor upstairs, I had never even visited the second floor of that store, the day I went there I had to get unlucky. 
In short, I was attacked twice more without mercy, my glasses almost got broken and we were so noisy that the owner gave us a scolding and our parents did the same as soon as we left with our packages, but this was not enough to ruin the day and our good mood. 
1993
 It was already expected that we would both end up in Slytherin, which was great because we didn't have to be separated, on the opposite, we became closer than ever. It also didn't take long to form our group of friends, actually not more than a month but the thing that made us truly close started in the third year when I had a genius idea. 
We all had a reason to dislike Harry, mine was nowhere near Draco's, no one's was but we shared it anyway. It was always fun to pick fights with him, make pranks and get him into trouble on purpose, so why not make it a little game? It was so easy that the idiots, Crabbe and Goyle understood the first few times, you can't expect more than that from them, and this was certainly a record for both. 
The game had three main objectives: 
- Take the most materials from Harry or his friends: ink, quill, books, whatever they were carrying would be a prize and would get a point.
- See him or his friends more often, with the intention of spying on them just for fun, of course. It could be in class or in the corridors, each time would be an extra point. 
- Pick fights with him or his friends, each minute was worth one point and to be proven, had to have someone to confirm it. 
 Of course, there was no room for lies, and I made sure to put a spell on our board to prevent this. Yes, I had made a small board that stayed with me but each team wrote down their own score.
To make it more fun, we split up into pairs. Draco and I, Pansy and Blaise, Grabbe and Goyle, Astoria and Millicent and Tom and Theo.
And finally, the best part, whoever had the most points at the end of the year would win 5 galleons from each person, as well as having a celebration party financed by the losers.  
Needless to say, Draco and I always won since the day I created the game. Our friends always complained about us playing dirty but it was never necessary and deep down they knew it, it must be hard to lose every year so I don't judge them.  
1995
"Are they still complaining?", I remained with my eyes closed, it was comfortable to lie curled up against Draco on the couch in the common room. We had two free classes, which was being put to good use to get some rest after a year of N.O.M.S. and a devastating victory in our little game.
"They'll get over it when we come back in September, I guess.... You're missing the best part", his voice came out whispered directly into my ear and I couldn't help but smile.      
 I didn't need to see the scene to know what was going on, Tom and Theo blaming each other for the defeat, everyone standing back from them because no one wants to get involved in their ego battle and our other friends trying not to laugh because it was a funny scene, even if they didn't know it.
"They're taking longer than last time...", I commented slightly annoyed by the noise. I had no idea what had happened to me, because usually I spent the afternoon celebrating my victory but not today. 
"Let's get out of here, you seems so good", he hadn't even completed his sentence when I agreed and painfully got up to go to his room. 
 But before I could take two steps, I felt his arms go around my waist and legs, leading me up the stairs in a bridal style.
I smiled wider and snuggled into his arms, enjoying more of the warmth and good feeling it gave me until we reached the bed.
"Thanks honey, I don't know what happened today", I commented under my breath as soon as he had me lying on the bed, but I knew it was a lie.
"Are you sure? This isn't related to the fact that our parents will know about our relationship in a few days?", I hoped he would pretend he didn't know but that wasn't the case, I wasn't going to be able to run away from the subject.
"It's just that I don't like them meddling in our lives, of course I have nothing against your parents, I'll love to be introduced as your girlfriend but my parents will be twice as unbearable", I sighed and hugged the blond once more, if there was one thing that made me better it was this. 
"Like my mom isn't going to start a 3 year planning for our wedding after she finds out, but at least they'll be used to it by the end of the summer and we won't have to go through this again", he began to fiddle with my hair and curl the strands between his fingers, slowly my shoulders relaxed and a considerable chunk of my worry faded away.
"Yes, I think so but it's going to be a lot harder for us to be alone now. You definitely won't be stepping foot in my room like you did when we used to play together", the memories flooded back and I felt him smile too, it had been a while since this had escaped my thoughts. 
"I don't need to worry about that, we slept together for almost the entire year at Hogwarts and they can't do anything about it and we'll keep doing it", I couldn't see him since my face was buried in his neck, but the perfect image of his mischievous grin formed in my head. 
 "The question is, will you survive for two months without me? Because I don't see that happening", I teased with a huge smirk as I turned to look him in the eye. 
"It won't happen because your father won't be enough to stop me love and I'll make sure you don't have to resort to your hands, because we know it wouldn't be enough", smugness was all over his face and as much as I searched for an answer to that, I didn't have one. Not in the first few seconds. 
"Good love, that's good because I'm sure your hands wouldn't do a better job either. In fact, I'd be a little worried if they actually still work, in case we get separated", I had managed to wipe the smirk off his face but I also knew it wouldn't stay that way, revenge was still an overused word in his vocabulary. 
 A week later, there I was on one of the Hogwarts Express cars with Draco, since we couldn't fit all our friends there anyway, we decided to enjoy the last hours of freedom we had together. 
And how quickly it went by, one moment I was chatting with my boyfriend while my puppy slept peacefully in her travel bed and the next, we had arrived and a wave of students were trying to get through the doors at the same time. 
We stepped off the train holding hands, while I carried only my baby in the other, and this detail did not escape the trained eyes of our parents who were talking side by side but as soon as they noticed us they stopped.
"For Merlin's sake, you two finally decided to listen to me and are in a relationship now?", my mother's eyes sparkled with excitement and I could already hear her voice asking me all sorts of embarrassing questions. "Narcisa, our family is finally becoming one, this is the best news I could ever receive", she could jump for joy now but because of the good posture of a London high society woman, she did not do that.
"How about dinner at our house today? We have a good reason to celebrate," I had seen his mother smile at me several times but even Lucius Malfoy seemed satisfied enough to show a little bit of his teeth, which is indeed shocking.
 My parents agreed to the idea immediately and only one look was exchanged between Draco and me, it only took a single look to know that we both acknowledged it would be an insufferable night. 
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Harry Potter Masterlist
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