#Be the naked

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[gay4thingss]

[tenoart]

Shout out to the only straight couple ever

[gossippool]

*steeples hands under my chin like i'm sherlock* so you see,

[followthebluebell]

every year, my boss buys a few cat calendars for our workplace. Due to some sort of mix-up, we accidentally got a few naked women calendars this year.

Normally, that's where the story would end. It would just be a mildly amusing mistake.

But it becomes absolutely fucking hilarious because I opened up the calendar package in front of clients today. One moment, we're just discussing the cats up for adoption and if their current cat might be willing to accept a new baby brother/sister and bam. Suddenly it went all tits up the second I picked up one of the calendars and actually looked at the damn thing.

Unfortunately, the clients ALSO looked at it.

None of us wanted this to happen. None of us knew how to respond to it. There's nothing in any social protocol that could have prepared us for this.

There was just like thirty solid seconds of absolutely dead silence as we all tried to think of the most polite thing to say.

"Wow," i said, because I'm entirely braindead at this point. "Not the kind of pussy I expected to encounter today."

Thankfully, they thought it was hilarious. It probably wasn't the most politic thing to say, but it was very funny to at least three people.

[necromosss]

Yeah

[sightofsea]

there's been a couple times that i've gone to the local sex club and every time i was at an event there was one man just fully naked walking around. same guy every time. hog like a hoagie roll when flaccid and he was always flaccid. anyway at one of the less populated events i got to sit and talk with him and he told me that he was always naked because, despite it being a sex club, people still don't know when it's 'okay' to start getting into it and he decided he'd be the one thing to break the ice and make everybody comfortable, because you know you can start doing whatever you wanna do when there's just a naked guy walking around. he then asked if i wanted a silicone copy of his dick for my strap. never in my life have i felt such an instant respect for a person.

[coppertophomegurl]

Bridgerton season 3 was really a win for the fat girls, and the gingers, and the wallflowers, and the bisexuals.

[sexyaiworld]

BEAUTY ASIAN

[psin314]

be careful, boys. 😦

[core-cosmos]

homies is it gay for you (half naked) to bring your boyfriend (also half naked) back from the dead and offer to give up everything so you two can do science together like you used to and despite the fact he’s all fucked up now you still love him and are just glad he’s alive?

[snarkspawn]

... but we're more like brothers. Caterina took us both in... (We're brothers...)

[that1nerd-20]

When a fanfic writer puts a nickname you think Is icky in their smut fic

[feminineambrosia]

I don’t know what she is meditating on, but my wish was granted