#Be glad there’s not a jpegging joke

[sleepywww]

Image at the nightclub.  Bouncer can’t see me they ask for an ID. Upscale alcohol I wanna decompress. Spot a stock looking girl and im tryna buy her. 3 rounds of drinks all on me. Take me to her house in a frame. I’m protected property she needs permission to use me. But when she tie me down no rights reserved.

[bleuberrygliscor]

There are so few phrases that genuinely make me angry.

Anyway, Tech Debt is a piss poor excuse. That shit had better be incomprehensible, it better be in fucking Fortran.

[aurumacadicus]

For the autumn blurb thing, IronBat and roasting marshmallows?

Could not figure out how to get these two emotionally stunted men in this predicament. Fortunately I play with AUs like some kids use jpegs as dolls.

--

"It's a bit chilly out, isn't it?" Tony asked, taking his scarf off.

"Please do not take your scarf off," Bruce replied, even as he knew Tony wouldn't listen to him. He watched, reluctantly smitten, as Tony knelt down to wrap the scarf around Dick's bare throat. "I told Dick to bring his own."

Tony shot him an unimpressed frown. "Dick is eight--"

"Nine," Bruce and Dick corrected, with varying levels of affront. He'd been at Dick's birthday party.

"--and while he can do incredible acrobatic feats from the chandelier, he is also incredible at forgetting things."

Dick blinked, stunned, as if he still wanted to harp on about how Tony couldn't remember his age but he was also smug about his physical prowess being complimented and his forgetfulness not being truly scolded. Bruce spared him a crumb of pity. Tony was very good at causing mixed emotions like that.

"Besides, we're the adults, so we're responsible," Tony added, smoothing the draping ends down Dick's chest with his hand before he stood up, dusting dirt off his knees.

"I'm glad that at least one of you is aware, Master Anthony," Alfred sighed, long-suffering, from where he had built up a fire in the fire pit. He handed them each a metal roasting skewer, then hefted up the tray he'd brought out with him, which held an assortment of marshmallows, from gourmet squares, to his homemade pillows, to regular old campfire Jet-Puffed. "Master Dick, do you require assistance with your marshmallow?"

"No, I can do it," Dick answered, frowning at all the marshmallows as he tried to decide which one to roast first.

Tony charged forward with a Jet-Puffed, shoving his marshmallow into the flames until it caught like a torch.

"Gross," Bruce said, unimpressed.

"Get out of my face," Tony replied cheerfully, holding up the stick so he could blow out the flames.

Bruce took one of the little plates from the bench and a slice of graham cracker so he could help Tony slide the still faintly smoking marshmallow off of his skewer. "Dick, come sit by me, and I'll show you the proper way to roast a marshmallow. It requires patience and skill."

"Joke's on you, asshole," Tony said, still blindly cheerful. "I actually just like the taste of burnt sugar and how crunchy the outside gets."

"It's true," Alfred sighed when Bruce raised a skeptical eyebrow. "When I make caramel sauce, he asks me to hold some back to cook longer."

"You are so exceedingly bizarre," Bruce told Tony, but even he could hear the fondness in it. He looped his own scarf around Tony's neck, tucking Dick's scarf that he'd brought with him deeper into his pocket. "Brush your teeth before you kiss me goodnight. I don't want to taste charcoal."

"Charcoal," Tony scoffed, even as he hid his pink cheeks behind the scarf.

[dreamwinged]

the way I was howling in bed with that linguini reveal 😭 the jpeg did it for me tbh. I've been wondering what your secret f/o is for months. live your truth he's actually a very sweet character if you're fr about it.

OMG HIIII ANON 😭😭 IM SO SORRY to say i was sadly joking butttt im so glad you found it funny HASHDAFNSD that makes my night 🫶🫶

I WISH IT WAS HIM HONESTLY that would be 1. so hilarious 2. HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY REAL AND TRUE... i hope one day i run into a linguinikisser even if it cant be me 😞 🤚

[ubercharge]

i've had some stuff to think about lately and i wanted to say whether you've been following me for years or a few days i hope my posts have put a smile on your face sometime. whether i reblogged a cute animal vid or you thought i made a funny joke in a tag or whatever. i don't make a lot of posts these days but i do still have a ton of fondness (and always have) for my followers. it makes me happy that people think what i have to share is worth looking at! it gives me chances to brighten people's days with cool art and stupid jpegs! i think that's a meaningful connection, even if it might not seem to carry a lot of weight because it's a "small" relationship to have between two individuals, sometimes it's the little things. i've definitely had shit days improved by seeing a well-timed rb here and there.

lastly, thanks for all the love towards mia. i am glad to have created a character that people enjoy so much, and i hope to expand her world a bit and give you guys more snapshots of her life and personality in the coming weeks (months years etc)

[freedfromthegalactichivemind]

Hordak's Arms and Cybernetics

Thanks to something completely unrelated to Spop, I think I may have figured out how Hordak's arms work. And, I've got an idea for fanart. I always thought that they must have some kind of internal cybernetics to work because, organically, they shouldn't be able to move being just skin over bone without critical muscles and tendons. I figured that Horde-clone arms must be fundamentally different from our own in that they had some kind of cybernetics alongside the bone that worked in a way to compensate for or shore up the muscle and thus a rotting out of muscle that Hordak had didn't leave him completely helpless (although in a bad way). Cue a reboot of another show I liked back in the day coming up and showing me just how this might work! Trigun: Stampede is a re-work of the anime Trigun from 1998 and the manga from the late '90s - '10s. It was my very favorite thing from 2001, when I'd discovered it until the early '10s and Vash the Stampede is my all time favorite blorbo (even though my brain flitted off to other fandoms - Vash is the character I consistently list as "Favorite Character of All Time.") I couldn't get a JPEG to post, but the article as a web-image screenshot of the anime with a really nice shot of Vash's prosthetic. Vash always had a prosthetic left arm (well, not when he was a kid, but in the story of Trigun, all versions). In the original anime and manga, it's one of his three important guns (hence the series title). Despite this, he is actually a pacifist and I am glad that the new series has kept that critical part of his character. The arm/gun had a very different look in the manga and first anime series. The reboot redesigned it and instead of having it hidden and a revealed mystery later, just had it out loud and proud - and even made a joke about it when Meryl meets Vash. "Ooh, need a hand?" (Pops off). It is noted right away as Lost Technology (an important aspect of the Trigun story, like First Ones' tech, but slightly better remembered). Anyway, the redesigned arm - for people who take a look at the first-episode review article with pics... Look at the thing! It's a bone-arm! Well, it's metal / shiny crystalline stuff because Studio Orange wants to show off their animation-chops, but there it is, big ol' gap with a fake radius and ulna attached to the hand-unit with something of a pivot-joint, no artificial muscle or hydraulics need. And, yeah, watching my ULTIMATE BLORBO back in action in a new form for the first three episodes of the new anime released so far, I saw that arm and thought of reboot Hordak from my more recent fandom. It's like a eureka-moment, like "Ooooh! That's how arms that are Like That can work!" And it tempts me to do a fanart wherein Hordak has been given new fully-prosthetic arms by Entrapta... but they still have gaps in them, as a facsimile of his old arms (but they are indestructible First Ones tech crystal so there is no tactical advantage of anyone wedging anything in the gap) and they look like the new-version Vash-arm. If I do that, it will have to wait until I feel like doing fanart again. I'm too depressed to do much lately (for reasons spoken of earlier on this blog).

[worms-i-think]

*knock knock* hello! trick or treat!

Is that Sam? Sam of the Spam box? The beloved Sam that they churn up into a vaguely meatlike meal in a metal tin?! If that’s really how they made you, im so sorry,,, we should really boycott Spam if they’re making it out of you and your clones.

Anyway thank you so much for the ask! I originally saw the idea come from your blog and was super antsy to get on it but I’ve never done an ask game, so as you can see this has gone on way further than Halloween actually has.

I started off with the low pixel images because they were the ones I got from Google images, but then I took it way too far and had to edit things for every response so yeah lol, still nothing compared to @actualbird ’s trick-or-treat adventure but I had my fun!

Oh yeah, I should probably give you a candy:

It’s the only thing I have left on me. Just some gummy worms.

Is this representative of my surrender? Have I recognized that the only thing I have left is myself? Have I let the brain rot win, taking over all my physical possessions and replacing them with the things that crowd my dash? Or have I given up on throwing jpegs into Procreate for the last two days in order to continue with a joke i no longer think is funny? Do I think that the only treat on Halloween is the presence of dear friends, and by presenting some worms on a platter show my willingness to offer my companionship to any who knock at the door? Were gummy worms the candy I just so happened to be craving at this very moment?

Who knows, but for now I’m just glad you all stopped by :)

Thanks so much again for the inspiration, Sam, and now that this is done I’ve gotta reorganize my drafts! It’s been a while since I’ve made an actual post lol. Stop by any time, and blink twice if you’re actually being ground up and canned for the consumption of others. (◍•ᴗ•◍) see ya!

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread-Part 3

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/743462089395470336/2024-watch-thread-part-2?source=share

Lensman (anime): Sometimes lost media is bad. I'm glad it was found, but it still wasn't good 3/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: It got a few sensible chuckles out of us, but I'm glad they figured out how to make comedies funny after this. 5/10

Zombie vs Ninja (aka The Undertaker of Sohwa Provence). A South Korean parody of Chinese Kung-fu movies billed as ninjas for the US market. Imagine a turducken if every layer was racism. -5/10

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor: While my PC and Unreal were fighting for their lives, this janky game blew me away. Rarely do we get sequels that truly feel iterative, let alone head and shoulders better than their predecessors. It continually fed me new toys and mechanical twists. I think I'll remember this as both a fun action game and as an outstanding metroidvania. It made me remember that I liked Star Wars, and for that I am thankful. 9/10

Protodoid Delta: I see what they are trying to do here, but it just wasn't fun. just a lot of generic platforming and combat that didn't feel right. Weak buster shots and a three-hit melee I didn't find reliable do not a combat system make. 3/10

Blades: Not quite funny enough for the comedic premise, but for my friends who hadn't seen jaws, it still was enough of a thriller to hold their interests -5/10

Monster Squad: I feel like if this came out when I was a kid, this would have been my favorite movie of all time. The fun monster madness and tone was almost enough to distract me from how the horrible pan'n'scan always found a way to crop out the black buddy-cop, even when he was the one speaking. 7/10

Star Wars The Bad Batch: In all fairness, I stopped only a few episodes in, but this just felt like Dave Filloni playing with his action figures. No real tension, just a parade of his OCs talking to each other, mostly with the same voice. I don't really care to find out if it gets better, because all I've seen is people get excited that more characters from Clone Wars show up. I want a good show, not reminders of a good show. 4/10

Goldeneye: I'm glad Bond isn't quite as brutish with women as the franchise was historically, but while watching it with someone who had never seen a Bond movie before, it occurred to me how strange this movie is without the context it is trying to respond to. 6/10

Battle Star Wars: There wasn't much battle or wars in this one. The stars were allright, but I would've preferred maybe some different hallways or a second hill in the California desert. Hell, I think a second jpeg of the Earth might've gone along way. Besides one of the most funny-bad costumes I've ever seen, this was utterly forgettable. -2/10

Gundam Seed Freedom: This might actually be the most frustrating movie I have ever seen. It made me so mad that I, no joke, walked out to the lobby and stared at an arcade machine to cool off. The writing on display is insanely bad. The first half hour is a sequence of scenes where characters state their thoughts and exposit about a fanfiction-tier plot that barely makes sense. If you liked the cuck arc from Seed Destiny, you will love this movie. It doubles down on the concentric melodrama to a point where everyone has to just be cartoonishly mean-spirited and has the same ending as Destiny, down to the macguffin. 0/10

The Intruder (1962): The day of Roger Corman's passing, this film came up a few times. I took a chance and within a minute and a half I knew this would be a winner. I've never seen a film more quickly and elegantly set up that a character might as well be the devil. Shatner is absolutely fucking evil in this role and it is GREAT. The more I read about this film the more ballsy I realize it was. allegedly this was filmed using mostly actual locals given a watered-down script. All those teens actually went through integration the year before. absolutely wild. 10/10

The Last Man on Earth (1964): Wow, I can't belive that Will Smith Movie 'I am Legend' ripped this off. *Checks Wikipedia* Oh. 7/10

Vikingdom: When people say that a movie feels like a videogame, Ithink this is what they should mean. I would describe it as Jason and the Argonauts by way of a ps3 action game. Cheap as hell, but willing to go hard at random intervals. Shoutout to the sequence in the land of the dead. 6/10

The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses: I'm no expert on Czec new wave cinema, but I think that this was pretty neat. However, I'm not sure that it really fit the mood of a Costco Pizza movie night. 7/10

Dragonball: The Magic Begins: This movie is a laugh-riot mix of good wuxia action and bursts of some laughable CG...until it slows to a crawl at Kame House for like and hour and kills all its energy. The remaster they had on Amazon was gorgeous, but uncanny since these movies aren't usually accessible in any quality. The funniest takeaway was that the production interpreted anime hair as an 80s hong kong action lady perm, so Goku ended up looking a little they/them. -7/10

Blood of Zeus Season 2: I feel as though I can't speak for it much since this is clearly part 1 of a two part story, but it certainly is cut from the Castlevania mold. It does have better forward momentum than its predecessors, but the main party feels almost auxiliary to the other plotlines. I kinda forgot what they were supposed to be doing. 6/10

Everyone is in LA: I don't think the first batch of guests really grabbed me. If this ever got the chance to 'get good' they might be on to something. 4/10

Teldryn Serious: I get what they were going for, but it didn't really work for me. On the literal side, the quest objectives for the last third broke for me. Otherwise, I felt kind of confused because I guessed what was going on before I was supposed to, so I wasn't sure why the story hadn't caught up. 4/10

The Fall of the House of Usher: I think a lot of Japanese RPGMaker and VNs owe Poe and Corman money. Entertaining, but not mind-blowing 7/10

A.D. Police: It had some real cool energy and episodes, but its sure...uh... ended. 7/10

Gundam Twilight Axis: This is a prime example of the cutoff point between a series of scenes and a story 3/10

Skyrim-Mirai: I won't judge this too harshly since I really do feel teenage wish-fulfilment radiating off of this mod. When it clicked for me that Mirai has essentially the same narrative as Serana, and the romance post-game is longer than her main quest...I knew I had to meet it it's level. Not sure I like her ambiguous age, but I chalk it up to harmless fanfiction cringe. 6/10

Jiu Jitsu: With a little editing, this could have been an all-timer martial arts vs. predator mashup movie with a cool alien costume. Nick Cage is in it for a surprising amount and the martial arts is shot pretty fun. Sadly the movie as it exists starts off poorly and gives the impression that the movie is less ambitious than it might actually be. As a result I tuned out for the first half. 4/10

Dick Tracey: The funny makeup and production design does its best, but the awful pacing kneecaps the flow it has at the start. 4/10

Year One: uuugh -3/10

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom: We really had to make our own fun on this one. Except that gnomes, those were great -4/10

Jack-Of-All-Trades!? A Day in the Life of Master Micchi: The geats cast really is at its best once the series is over. These characters are just funny to follow around without the end of the world looming. 5/10

Kamen Rider Geats: 4 Aces and the Black Fox: This would have scored a full point higher if the main villains weren't a greasy discord mod/discord kitten pair that just did not fit the sick recolor of Geats 9. The brief pre-production view of Gotchard made me sad about what we ended up getting. 5.5/10

Kamen Rider The Winter Movie: Gotchard & Geats Strongest Chemy★Great Gotcha Operation: I know getting turned into a marketable plushie is a meme and all, but this was hilarious. Until it turns into a generic Rider movie in the last third, the puppets are funny as hell and the Geats cast shines so well against the mildness of the chemies. 6/10

[slime-stew]

i hate how reblog icon just goes away so the only way i know if i have reboggef is the little 'like icon but this is not enough because sometimes i do not know if if have just liked it or i liked it last momth so i apoligize if i just reblogged the same shit you already saw. then again thats all anyone posts anymore its all just tumblr post of tiktoks of tweets of facebook posts that got reposted to reddit twice and the jpeg is so fried it becomed burnt . i am in so much pain and i cannot sleep so hopefully a stream of consciousness will stop my brain from yelling at me. i dont like how the joke of "there's too many standards so we should make our own standard that works with all if them". in some ways this is how i feel about conlangs and numbering systems cuz they're kinda cool but i can barely speak english so a useless language hurts me on a deeper level. it feels like a waste of brain for me to even comprehend. if you don't use a language to communicate then is it language? why not say theway to conjugate your past tense is to piss really loudly. go crazy. actually there is that hat one i think called kay fop b or whatever who cares we're gonna die at some point and i dont want my longest lasting contribution to society to be some joke hat language. actually what happened to hats. we went from like fedora trilby and it all lead yp to beanies and shit. even baseball cap feels like a dying breed. shit is so itchy i hate how it feel i do not understand how people wear hats. maybe thats it but theres still so many of u beanie people. i am not the person to ask for fashion advice i can barely find clothes to wear on a given day sometimes. i got hella fat and now i feel terrible about myself and my appearance and none of my clothes fit. i got so many garments that have negative stretch like if i even attempt to fit in this it will break. i just wanna wear an infinite clothiny that i dont have to care aboit. just like a big gray bodysuit that makes me imperceptible. granted even when i was less chubby i didnt want to be percieved either so maybe i just dont like how i look lmao. probably dysphoria in there somewhere who knows i just feel so tired and lazy i dont got shit and i have nothin to feel good about so i have just put up with feeling snd looking like human waste all the damb time . i think they should make a new flavor of powerade thats like coconut or coconut lime kinda like that drink from sonic the ocean water. if it was coconut you could make it just light blue cuz theres no cloudy light blue powerade and that would look good. like one of those fortnite drinks they have in the jars that looks kinda tasty. if you made it coconut lime it could be cloudy green like that terrible cucumber lime gatorade. the last time they made new flavors of powerade was like summer 2021 and those flavors are discontinued now. but they only made zero versions of them so im not surprised if they did poorly. also they never make cool names like. Glacier Freeze. thats the berry orange one. Cool Blue is literally just orange or blue curacao flavor. Arctic Blitz was supposed to be honeydew watermelon but it tasted so awful and i love both of those flavors. even just like Fierce Grape is a cooler name but its literally just grape or whatever. Sorry i meant

Grape whoa this shit is neat i'm so glad tumblr has actual text markup options like lets go i love strikethru its so handy i use it on discord all the time too. in a way it somehow both useful as a serious and as a joking indicator but in very obvious ways... probably because i start them with "but" or "except" or stuff like that. i love that i can just type into this box forever and nobody will ever see it and its all just for me yippee! but at least i have the option and unless someone loves stupid walls of text nobody will be forced to see it. gordon freeman big naturals. gorgonzola freeman. spinda pokemon wearing jorts. who up playin with they zeebo. what ever happened to that gon go gab galab guy wheres his revival bring that energy into 2011 fr. wish i was better at chess but i'm so scared of other people so i only play against my friends and the computer. i was in the middle of typin out all this shit amd i was informed that there is a limit to paragprah soze but if u hit enter its chill. it goes away so i made a newline on Grape because its funny to put that there. i think we should work on milking funnier animals. we already milk nuts and rhey dont even have udders but like whats kangaroo milk taste like. i bet its all churned up and creamy cuz they be hopping all the damn time. actually its probably bitter and shitty snd the only reason joeys drink it is because theyre too young and small and crap poopoo to know any better. its like kangaroo buttermilk or kangaroo soylent. reminds me of that angry slappy the squirrel she said something about buttermilk i barely remember animaniacs but it was a good show i had that shit on multiple dvds. i wanted to try that new soylent because it is my guilty pleasure that i want the future to be at least slightly cool about eating stupid foods and not dystopian. 🎁 i seriously cannot believe that someone has ever licked their elbow. it probably has piss on it. luigis mansion 3ds remake. its crazy how most of thr star fox games are either just the snes game again or are some weird shit like adventure or guard. in a way counter strike is the same cuz theres just the first game and then a remake and another remake and then there's a different game entirely that was supposed to be the single player but its a new game. and then there's cs go which was at launch kinda like the second remake but with new shit? like they named the guns correctly and u can play on a l4d map and thry replaced the tmp. but now cs2 is basically a csgo update even though its look like a new game but u play through the csgo launcher and u play on the same dust2. so theres like 3 games but somehow we sre on counterstrike 2. chicken enchilada. thatd a funny trick to play on god. i bet they got some crazy ass soup on mars.i gotta wait so long to see the mario movie. i bet you could jist randomly generate memes by putting hip hop vocals over kevin macleod instrumentals and people woild eat that shit up. my eyeballs are stsrting to hurt goodnight tumblr or is it good morning? ive been typing for so long i cant help it

edit: metal gear solid 2. its good but 3 is better and should have been the Action Game for the ps2 at the smithsonian that shit is rad

[uneryx]

DO NOT MAKE TUMBLCRYPTIDS

Hey kids! Do you want to participate in the advancement of Earth’s destruction? Do you want to generate 40 years worth of electricity emissions with one click of a button? Tumblr is now allowing you to make your very own NFTs and participate in a solipsistic pyramid scheme where artists don’t own their art anymore and every transaction personally stabs Gaia in the face! But Uneryx, what the fuck’s an NFT and what’s that hav to do with Tumblcryptids? Glad you asked! Imagine that you printed out a jpeg and stapled it to a dollar bill.  Now imagine that, instead of a print out of a jpeg, it was actually a sticky note that said where the jpeg was located on your hard drive and you stapled THAT to a dollar bill.

That’s what an NFT is - a digital container file attached to cryptocurrency (specifically, an ethereium token) that gives the buyer “ownership” of an image file. Except not really because what buyers actually own is a container file with the image’s URL inside of it. 

Oh, and the act of minting an NFT causes astronomical environmental damage because the emissions required to generate cryptocurrency are ridiculously high. 

ALSO! Artists don’t retain any ownership of their work once it’s been NFT’d. And you don’t have to prove that you’re the original artist to make an NFT. Hell, you can screenshot someone’s twitter post and make THAT an NFT. So, on top of the pyramid scheme aspect of it and the acceleration of climate change, we can add art theft to the toxic, shitty culture around fake online trading cards. So what’s this got to do wtih the Tumblcryptids?

A few things.

First of all, this site loves to bag on about normalizing bad behaviors. Well guess what, this is absolutely normalizng something awful. By making an april fool’s joke about something this harmful, Tumblr staff is basically turning something that will destroy our planet into a fucking joke. It’s not a joke.

Secondly, there is no opting in or transparency. There’s just a FUN SPLASHY BANNER that catches your eye, and oh, it makes a cute little blob based on your interests with a funny name! 

Nowhere until after you’ve sumibtted the post to your blog does it say the word “NFT”.

This is, at best, a tacky, tasteless joke about something that is EXTREMELY controversial in the artist community (with a majority of artists vehemently against it), and at worst a pyramid scheme that brings us one step closer to planetary annihilaition. HAPPY FUCKIN APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!

[hyperfocusthusly]

Prompt from @stonathan-jpeg

‘billy confessing to steve while drunk. about everything. his dad, his sexuality, and his feelings. and steve just sits there with the light buzz muddling his thoughts, unsure how to respond’

~~~~

It’s cold.

It’s too cold to be sat on the edge of the quarry.

It’s definitely too cold to be sat on the edge of the quarry with Billy Hargrove.

Why are we here?

They’ve been sat up here for god knows how long. They flick stones off the ledge and talk occasionally; basketball, cars, the mundanity of living in such a small town, generally accepting that they are both too drunk to do much else. Steve watches cautiously as Billy softens, the posturing and peacocking melting away while there’s no one here to see it.

“Do you miss California?”

“Oh no Stevie, this is much better. Who needs the sun, an ocean and something even vaguely resembling a good time”

If anyone asks, he’ll say the alcohol made him speak,

“Is that why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You know, the fighting, all that shit, you can’t actually enjoy it, right?”

Billy stiffens, “we can’t all be massive pussies Harrington.”

Steve chews on the inside of his cheek,

Why are we here?

The alcohol’s buzz is beginning to weaken, not so much making him feel invincible, but beginning to settle across him, making him feel heavy.

“It’s the only thing I’m good at”

Steve winces internally,

“It doesn’t matter what I do anyway, it always ends the same. I can’t ever do enough, I’ll never be enough.”

Steve is vaguely aware that he probably isn’t really talking to him anymore.

Billy throws a particularly large stone off the edge and leans forward, teetering dangerously as he waits for the soft plunk. His eyes crinkle as if remembering a good joke.

He pulls back and digs a packed of cigarettes from his jacket, lighting one and taking a long tired drag,

“Maybe it’s because I look like my mom, maybe it’s because she left, maybe it’s because she didn’t bother to take me with her, maybe it’s because he can’t bear the thought that his only son is a fucking faggot, or even worse, he’s found something he can’t just beat out of me”

Steve opens his mouth, willing something coherent to come from the sluggish shock swirling around in his head

“B-b-eat?”

Good one Harrington

“He tried using his fists, that didn’t work, so I got dragged out here to the middle of bumfuck, Indiana in the hopes of boring me straight.”

Steve’s brain clanged.

“Like that was ever going to work” he laughs, but there’s no humour in it, it’s something darker laced with pain that dissipated into the night sky like the smoke from the cigarette between his lips

Steve turns to look at him, the moonlight illuminates the bruise across his cheek, the sharp scratch along his neck.

Is that why we’re here?

“Your dad did that to you? What the fuck, that’s, thats…”

He fizzles, the alcohol making it difficult to find the words. That’s awful, that’s…

He’s glad that Billy isn’t really paying too much attention to him, the blonde is staring out across the quarry, lost in some unknown thought.

He wishes briefly that his brain worked better. He wishes for Jonathan’s comprehension and Robin’s ability to formulate comfort. He wishes for the ability to just say something, anything, that might make Billy feel something beyond anger, frustration and pain.

Instead he shifts, sliding his hand across the rocky ground towards Billy’s, he stops when their pinkies touch, not quite brave enough to go any further.

“You can stay at mine tonight, if you want”

[usaigi]

Marc, Jake & Steven

Lunar sys au character cards | Read all chapters on ao3

Continuation of Birdy calling their dad, Marc finds out

CW: referencing past suicide attempts and past suicide idealization (does not go into detail), discussing mental illness, joking about mental illness

Birdy Spector Tuesday – 3:12 PM

Attachment: Fullhouse-Only-It’s-In-My-Head.ppt Lunar-sys.docx image_642.jpeg

I made the powerpoint when we first started seeing our therapist but some of the information has changed. At the time, I only knew about Marc, Steven, Jake, and myself. 

Steven and I made another document with some info about the others 

I know SMJ made another document that’s like a history/timeline of everything we’ve been through but they won’t show it to me 😒

Which is bs because I literally have all the trauma for trying to unalive ourselves but they think I can’t handle it 

Elias Spector – Tuesday 5:26 PM

Thanks. Is it ok if I show this to my therapist? Also, I finished reading two books you recommended, we can talk about it next time you can call. 

The cat is very cute. 

Sorry to ask but

Since leaving home

Did you attempt again?

Birdy Spector – Wednesday 11:32 AM

Yeah, that's fine

Not me, just Marc I think. He’s doing better though. 

Probably lol 

Jake’s really good at keeping us safe

He;s funny, Jake made him a jar and now Marc has to drop a dollar every time he makes a joke about dying lmao

Also whenever Daniela is mean 

or anyone says someone mean about themselves

Although

It’s less funny when he makes me do it 😒

Elias Spector – Wednesday 12:57 PM

I’m just glad you’ll are safe now

I understand you dislike labels but just for my comprehension, is it safe to say that you didn’t have BPD and/or Bipolar disorder? Was it just different alters fronting?

Birdy Spector - Wednesday 4:46 PM

Not sure 🤷🏼 

What gets confusing is that while yes we are separate alters and all but we do all share the same brain, body, hormones, etc. And even when we’re not fronting/co-con, we can still have influence 

So its hard to tell if we are acting a certain way because of another disorder or if its related to DID

Steven and I were reading about how childhood trauma shapes dna, brain development, how bodies react, etc it’s wild ngl

Maybe depression with mixed features? We’re testing out some new mood stabilizers to see if they help. Not everyone is good at logging the effects/side effects Steven and I are the only ones that are super consistent but I don’t actually front that often. It’s sooo exhausting trying to get everyone on the same page 😩   

And it’s not that I don’t like labels, I justthink it was super frustrating how doctors would keep throwing whatever label at us and just hoped it’d stick

I felt like I was hoarding mental illnesses lmao like damn lunar sys leave some for everyone else

U know anyone who wants some? Currently got a buy one get one free special lmao

Elias Spector - Wednesday 4:48 PM

I imagine that’s difficult. How have you been doing otherwise?

Birdy Spector - Wednesday 4:50 PM

I joined Steven and Marc for some sessions this week. Three times a week is too much. since I was there we talked about the stuff that happened when we were younger. Jake was also there, but he only watched

EMDR is terrible, I hate it so much 

But…

It’s easier to open up to the psychologist after talking to you about it first

But I’ve been fighting with Marc less so that’s probably good. Although he still won’t tell me about what he remembers and he even forbid Steven from telling me too. Jake has always been weird about it and Daniela is still pretty scary

Can you please tell me?

Elias Spector - Wednesday 5:05 PM

Be patient with Marc. I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, I think it’s best if you talk to the others about it. 

Marc isn’t scooping, he’s totally fine with his alters having boundaries and privacy. He just happened to come across Birdy’s email account–which she stayed signed into–and stumbled across a chat thread with who else but Elias Spector. 

His vision turns red, scrolling through dozens and dozens of messages, images, and call receipts. The earliest message is dated just over 6 weeks ago, although the first couple of messages imply that they were already in contact before then. 

‘Steven. Steven! Steven!!’ Marc yells out internally, hoping to wake Steven up from wherever he is in the inner world. 

‘What?’ He says grouchily, slowly stepping towards the front. 

‘Look at this shit. What the hell was she thinking? Did you know she was in contact with our dad?’ Marc says as Steven takes control of the body to look at the screen. 

‘Marc, you need to calm down,’ Steven says, still working his way through all the messages, he can feel Marc in the headspace making trenches from pacing around so much. 

‘How dare you tell me to calm down? I can’t even trust my own fucking alters to not go behind my back. This is fucking Khonshu all over again!’

‘What’s going on, are you doing something dumb?’ Jake jumps in, suddenly appearing in the front conference room, as if he appearing out of thin air. He must have sensed their stress level rise. 

‘Respectfully Jake, go fuck yourself. This isn’t about you.’ Marc snaps back, irritated he had the nerve to stick his head into this. 

‘It looks like Birdy has been a messaging dad. Talking on the phone too, I think.’ Steven tells him, essentially ignoring all of Marc’s wishes. 

‘She what? ’ Jake asks in disbelief, getting closer to the front to get a better look at the messages in question. 

‘That sneaky little bra–’  

‘Marc, stop it. I’m mad too but I won’t let you talk about her that way.’ Jake interrupts him in his tracks. 

‘Oh of course you’re on her side. She’s always hiding behind you. And we all know you’re an expert at making decisions behind our backs, aren’t you? Tell me, what other secrets have you been hiding from us? Was it actually you that got me kicked out of the military?’ Marc rages with an exasperated outrage, arms wrapped around himself, taking careful steps backwards. Keeping his back against the wall. 

Jakes glares at Marc over that comment, standing his ground, he shouts back, ‘Ok fine! Maybe this is my fault! Sorry I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth about our childhood! You don’t think it hurt me when she talked about how nice and protective her dad was when my dad failed us?’ 

‘Maybe we all need to take some deep breaths, yeah? I can make us a cuppa–’

‘Steven, your endless optimism and desire to make everything ok is exhausting sometimes. Can you please just shut it?’ Marc says, in a low bitter voice. 

In response, Steven shut the laptop close, dropping his head to his hands, ‘Fine! Then I guess I won’t share what I think!’

‘What do you think?’ Jake asks with a heavy sigh. 

‘Maybe… we should reach out to dad, it’s obviously helping Birdy. Looking over at his messages he seems accepting. And it looks like he’s in therapy too.’

Marc's knees buckle as his breathing rises, ‘I can’t believe this. Steven, what happened to system cooperation? I can’t believe you’re siding with her.’

‘I’m not siding with anyone.’ Steven replies calmly. 

‘Marc, stop it. You’re acting like our mother.’ Jake states sharply and it hits Marc like an asteroid. Marc's mouth opens in shock, his eyes glare, almost as if he's going to attack back but he doesn't. His eyes, rapidly flashing from betrayal to anger to disgust to shame to fear. He slides down to the ground, wrapping his arms around his knee, dropping his forehead onto his forearms. 

Even Steven tenses up at that comment.

Exhausted, Jake pulls out his chair from the crescent conference table, pulls out a cigarette from his jacket, and places it between his lips. This is all fake– all of this is happening inside their head, but somehow, the smell of tobacco fills the body’s nostrils.    

Jake lets Marc recollect himself for a bit before saying, ‘There are no sides, we are a system. If you yell at her, all the work we’ve done to get her to open up will be for nothing. Tell me, who does Birdy remind you of?’ Jake asks in a stern but calm voice. When Marc doesn’t reply, he says, ‘She acts like we did at that age. Time has always been fuzzy for me but I remember feeling like I had no control over anything. Like adults were quick to dismiss all my problems. I’m guilty of this shit too, I’ve fed into her delusions about how great our dad was and how our mom was too sick to visit her in the hospital. I kept telling myself I was protecting her innocence but maybe I fucked up. 

‘I still do that shit with Kid. I know he’s confused but I can’t explain it to him. Maybe I am protecting him, or maybe I’m just trying to protect myself.’ 

The three of them let words seep, processing Jake's words and the situation. It feels like all the hard work that Marc has done to try to heal, not just suppress, has been for nothing, he still felt like a scared child, abandoned by his parents.

‘Maybe...' Steven says, once some of the initial tension calms down, 'we should think about how our alter didn’t feel comfortable talking to us first before sneaking off to talk to dad. Be honest Marc, how would you have reacted if she asked you for permission?’  

‘I would have blown her off…’ Marc mumbles, still hiding his face in shame. 

‘Yeah, and I wouldn’t have been any better…’ Jake sighs. 

‘Steven, I know you want to talk to dad, I know you don’t see him like I do. But his…indifference almost killed us,’ Marc says softly. 

Steven pauses, before warily saying, ‘I think… there’s no growth living in the past and maybe… closure would be good for us.’

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

The After Chronicles

Summary: After Earth and all of the planets around it were officially deemed uninhabitable, humanity was forced to move into massive spacecrafts carrying the new intra-galactic colonies. All was well until the universe-altering black hole, which tore through one of the last surviving intra-galactic communities and caused all of humanity to start over yet again. Two weeks later, things are beginning to return to normalcy, and people are finally returning home from the wreckage perimeter of the event horizon— among them, William Ortega, known more frequently as Willie, or Alex Mercer’s best friend. Alex has known him for years, known what a firecracker he is, so to see his friend return as though his light has been put out, well, it’s almost as disorienting as everything else that’s been going on.

Link to Masterlist

Word Count of Chapter: 1,353

———

Chapter 1: are you still starting fires?

Alex tries not to think about it too much.

This proves to be difficult, given he overthinks about, well, everything, and this particular thing is just. Too important.

Long story short, years ago, after Earth and all of the planets around it were officially deemed uninhabitable, humanity was forced to move into massive spacecrafts carrying the new intra-galactic colonies. Everything was fine until the supermassive black hole ripped through said colonies, and forced all of humanity to start from square one all over again. Now, two weeks after the black hole, things are finally getting back to normal; apartmentships are being rebuilt, the mallships are reopening, rocket sales have increased, and people are finally returning home from the rescue ships.

Willie still hasn’t shown up yet.

Willie, Alex’s best friend since Jamie Allston said his haircut looked stupid in the third grade and Willie loudly disagreed, the human firecracker, the kid with a promising future in skateboarding, the guy Alex has been quietly in love with since eighth grade.

His other friends tell him that it’s fine, because a bunch of people were still caught along the event horizon and needed rescue ships to take them back, and as far as the authorities know, no bodies were left behind.

But that doesn’t mean Willie couldn’t have been sucked in. Hence, the worrying.

(“Have you even heard of what happens to you when you get sucked into a black hole, Jules? It’s fucking spaghettification. He could be spaghettificated right now and we wouldn’t even know.”)

Today is the day that the rescue ships are supposed to make it back, though, and so now Alex is just patiently (read: impatiently) waiting at home to see if Willie will ever come back, or if he completely missed his chance to confess his feelings and will never get to see his best friend again. No big deal or anything.

Alex sighs, ignoring the faded blue cap on his nightstand as he heads out the front door.

•••

Alex grips the railing of the metal gate lining the edge of the rescue ship port, nearly bouncing with energy as the ships begin to unload. There’s a sizable amount of people who ended up getting stranded, so it takes him a minute to find Willie’s head among the crowd. Alex nearly bolts forward once he does, but the gate stops him and his boot slams into it, causing a large clanging noise to sound throughout the station. Pointedly ignoring the stares from the crowd of those waiting beside him, Alex sucks on his teeth and backs up a step from the gate. So much for subtlety.

After Willie makes his way around the gate, Alex finally runs over to him. He grips Willie by the shoulders and starts to chatter off, “Willie! Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re back, I- I’m so glad you’re okay even, you would never believe how fucking boring it’s been without— Willie?” Alex cuts himself off once he gets a good look at his best friend’s face. Willie’s barely even giving him a glance, biting on the inside of his mouth, rubbing his elbow with his thumb— he’s nervous, or at the very least uncomfortable, that much is obvious, but Alex can’t for the life of him think of why. He drops his hands. “What’s wrong?”

Willie shakes his head. “I’m just, really tired, I guess. Kinda just want to go home,” he replies half-heartedly.

“Oh,” Alex breathes out, and he tries his best to hide his disappointment. “Yeah. No, yeah, of course. I’ll take you there?”

“I mean, yeah, I kinda don’t know where it is anymore,” Willie responds, and ouch.

“Right.” Alex lets out a sigh, then continues as they begin walking, “Okay. So your apartmentship is still right next to mine, and honestly, most things are set up the same, it’s just a different galaxy and stuff, so it’s not too hard to get around.”

Willie throws him a noncommittal shrug. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” Yeah, this won’t be awkward at all.

•••

A shell of a person was not exactly what Alex had in mind when he said he wanted his best friend back, but apparently it’s what he’s getting.

He’s laying on the floor in Willie’s bedroom, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, while Willie sits on the edge of his bed, swinging his legs. There are a million words Alex would love to spew at his friend, but it feels like none of them are the right ones, none of them are the ones that will bring back the firecracker of a person he once knew.

He doesn’t get it, really; they both went through the same things, both experienced the same parts of the black hole. And sure, Alex was still shaken by it and is adjusting to the change (no matter how poorly said adjustment is), but he isn’t— he hasn’t closed himself off to the people he trusts. He hasn’t become an entirely different person.

And it’s hard, really, because Alex loved Willie; yes, there were romantic feelings there that he didn’t bring up as often, but even on a baseline level, he loved him. He loved the things that made Willie who he was, the spontaneity, the empathy, the humor, the drive, everything. It’s hard to know who someone used to be with those traits and not see them as someone else without them.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Willie anymore, though. In fact, it’s almost the opposite. There are so many things Alex wishes he could do to help Willie, to care for him, to hug him, anything, but the very notion that he could lose Willie by choice rather than circumstance is enough to keep his mouth shut.

Alex is trying his best to bring Willie back to who he once was. He knows he might never fully get there; what they all went through was traumatic, and would have effects on them for the rest of their lives, but he’s trying at the very least to get a smile out of the other boy.

He’s gotten nothing.

He refuses to give up.

“Is there anything you want to do now that you’re back?” Alex asks, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look at Willie. “I’ve heard the new set up for the skate park is really fun, and there’s even an anti-gravity section—“

“I’m not really feeling it,” Willie interrupts. “I’ve kinda had enough of zero gravity at this point.”

The joke lies flat, a lull falling into what could barely be called a conversation, and it’s enough to make Alex’s anxious energy start leaking out. “You— you don’t even want to skate? That’s… like your favorite thing in the world, what’s up with you?” He asks, not accusingly.

Willie closes his eyes for a moment while he crosses his arms against himself. “Nothing’s up, I just don’t want to. Am I not allowed to do that now?” he responds, adding, “I’d rather just chill here. You can leave if you want to do something else, though.”

Alex splutters, “Wh— no, I never said that, I’m just—“ he takes a breath, looking down at the floor, “—I’m getting a bit worried about you. You’re not interested in anything you used to do, you’ve gotten quiet all of a sudden, and you barely even talk to me anymore.” He looks back up at Willie. “I’m supposed to be your best friend, Willie. You can tell me anything, you know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

Willie’s face hardens and he stops swinging his legs, pulling them up to hold them in his arms. “Maybe I don’t know that.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and mumbles, “I think, I think I just want to be alone right now. You should leave.”

Alex doesn’t get how he could have fucked it up this bad, but he nods, gathers his bag, and heads out the door, more determined than ever to get his best friend back.

He ignores the blue cap again when he flops onto his bed.

———

taglist: @jealous-kippen @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @secretly-of-course @sylphrenas @julie-n-phantoms (ask to be tagged!!)

[bxcketbarnes]

Hiii! Can you pretty please do 1 or 15 from the hug prompts with Mikey??

15. Tackle Hug

"You're sure he doesn't know I'm here?" You ask Calum in a hushed whisper as the two of you walk through the venue they were playing at.

Calum laughs and nods his head in response before peeking around the corner, making sure it's clear. "Yes, I'm sure! We're good at keeping secrets, thank you," he scoffs playfully and you chuckle.

"Well, sometimes I question you four," you tell him with a shrug.

"I made sure those two kept their mouths shut. I know how special this is for the two of you," he mentions and you glance down at the engagement ring on your finger, your heart fluttering.

"It's crazy to think it's been almost a year since the engagement and what fucking timing of having tour start the day after," you mumble as Calum leads you to the dressing room door and he turns to face you.

He nods his head with a small smile, resting his hand on your shoulder. "I know. Which is why I'm glad you're here so he can shut up about you for a bit," Calum jokes and throws you a cheeky wink.

You scoff and smack his chest. "Fuck off," you laugh before slowly opening the door.

"Good luck! Please don't fuck in there," he offers and you flip him off as the Maori man walks away from you.

You see Michael's back facing you as you open the door, slipping into the room quietly. He lets out a small yell as he dies in the game he's playing before slinging his back head. "Fuck," he mumbles and you couldn't help but giggle.

Michael's head snaps up at the sound and you cover your mouth, not intending to be so loud. He looks over his shoulder to see you standing there and his green eyes widen.

"Baby?" He calls out and you grin, nodding your head in response. "Holy shit you're here."

He manages to fling himself over the back of the couch and you meet him in the middle before tackling him in a hug. "I missed you so much," you mumble while running your fingers through his hair.

Michael let's out a breath and squeezes your waist, happy to have you in his embrace after not seeing you physically for almost a year. "Me too, baby," he mentions while twirling you around.

A giggle leaves your lips as he sets you back on the ground, his lips connecting to your forehead. You glance up at him and he brings his hand to your face, stroking your cheekbone.

"I love you," Michael whispers softly as his hand moves to yours, thumb gliding over the engagement ring.

"I love you, Michael. I can't wait to marry you."

-

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @sexgodashton @ashxxxirxxx @prettymuchxarreaga @aladyofalbion @philthepegacorn @calumspupils @fallinallinturner @bvbygxrl @suchalonelysunflower @devilatmydoor @spicylftv @marshmallowtraver @jessalyn-jpeg @maddz-world @everyscarisahealingplace @itsasadfishworld @talkfastromance4 @notinthesameguey @iwritesiriusly @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof

[hotgrrlbummer]

im so glad gremlincore wasn’t a thing in 2012 because i can almost see the jpegged screenshots of posts like “fuck it im gonna take bendypoo and decompose into the ground and nothing can stop me” and “oh mY GOD I WAS JUST AT SCHOOL AND I WAS JOKING AROUND WITH MY FRIEND AND I SAID MMMM THOSE ROCKS ARE PLEASING TO MY GREMLIN BRAIN WAY LOUDER THAN I MEANT TO AND MY TEACHER HEARD ME AND FELL OUT OF HIS CHAIR LAUGHING”

[teacupballerina]

Just finished reading the Dark Horse printing/omnibus of Elfen Lied...

I guess if you want a physical copy it's fine, thank god they finally brought it over, but I'd still recommend actually reading it for the first time with the fan translations for a few reasons...

1. The swearing and memes are really distracting. Obviously Bando is rude as hell and he's intended to be comic relief sorta but Nana swearing? Mariko???? NANI THE FUCK?

2. Nana is so different tonally, she isn't as naive or uneducated so some of the best minor jokes just got lost...she also does not call Kurama "Papa" exclusively, that's literally...like, you had one job.

3. Whoever edited the speech bubbles with screaming, you know what you did and I will not forgive you. Actually there are several places where the tone is totally different due to editing choices... In a bad way.

4. These motherfuckers somehow accidentally mixed up the order of some pages in Omni 1.

Overall most of this boils down to an apparent lack of a proofreader. It is still my favorite manga though and I'm glad I was finally able to support it, but I feel like in some ways and in some places, the ball was dropped, kicked and slammed against the wall like lucys puppy

It was nice to see the art so crisp though. I first read Elfen Lied about 15 years ago, so everything was a scanned jpeg. I also like how a lot of the pages were set up for the physical format, which I hadn't experienced before, since I'd read it just one page at a time.

Big F in the chat for the full anime adaptation that will never be