#Bc he always interpreted some act as betrayal

[icefire149]

The destiel vs huntlow poll is so funny since I'm an avid shipper of both. It's massive brain worms vs massive brain worms. I need my fellow spn fans to understand its a fun match up.

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen would act as a webtoon fantasy world prince

this was written with those virtual character dating simulation thingies in mind btw?? like. those unrealistic webtoon isekai-esque stuff. ive never played them before but this is based on my interpretation of them lmao

masterlist

seungcheol

either you fall in love with prince seungcheol at first sight or it's some charged enemies to lovers dynamic until someone finally realises they've fallen. he's just such a huge and great and formidable presence and he is just The Best protector. there's ofc gonna be some sort of altercation where you get hurt and you can bet that his eyes go stormy and he's asking "who did this to you" in a low voice, full of promise to murder anyone who hurt you. watches you with stars in his eyes when you descend the staircase in the beautiful outfit you're wearing as his partner to a royal ball, and that's how he knows that you're the one

jeonghan

prettier than you. every time he appears on screen there's a bunch of shiny sparkles and floating hearts and at least one of the other faceless side-princesses has to faint at his beauty in the background of the scene. he's charactertised by his soft eyes and the glinting teeth in his smile and the way he always has the most out-of-pocket sentences that leave his lips. he's really pretty and really smart but also???? unexpectedly does little things that show that he cares about you. prince jeonghan is written as the webtoon trope where he looks like a laid-back pretty boy but secretly loves you dearly and would defend you with his life

joshua

childhood friends who drifted away due to circumstances in their own kingdoms before finally reuniting at a ball and realising oh god... they both grew up to be so beautiful. there's some underlying, dramatic plot involving betrayal and corruption in the temple (dude it's always the temple) but your love for one another is always there, unspoken but ringing true constantly. does it kind of give you plot armour? yeah, bc the writer doesn't want anything to happen to joshua. (or you. but mostly joshua.) but there's also at least 6 shirtless prince joshua scenes bc the writer loves him so. take what you can get.

junhui

he's just Doing His Best okay. he's been married off to you, a royal from another kingdom, and he's kinda having a bad time bc the climate of your kingdoms are just so different but you're also kind of being all snappish with him like he chose to be married off to you?? but you're also really pretty and sometimes you're quite nice and it's obvious you're a good person from how you talk about your subjects and he knows that you don't like him but he thinks he might be falling in love with you, which is kind of confusing for everyone. comedy-fluff-misunderstandings webtoon style.

hoshi

playful younger prince. rebellious. you first meet him in some rundown, peasant area and you genuinely think he's just the illegitimate son of a noble rather than the prince himself bc he's just so friendly and blatantly disregarding all sorts of common court etiquette. as someone stifled by the rigid aristocratic structures, you find it refreshing, and talking to him is just so easy and you get to express yourself so well around him. before you know it, you're in love, and when you feel horribly betrayed at the reveal that he's the prince, well.... perhaps someone else out of the two of you managed to catch feelings too.

wonwoo

he's always so calm and composed and it makes you want to climb him like a tree and wring his shoulders to finally ruffle his leaves a little and find out what makes him tick. you want to be the one to crack the secret to prince jeon wonwoo, basically. will he let you? no. he hates you. at least, that's what you think, before something happens at a horse-riding tournament through the woods that you're participating in and your horse becomes out of control, and from then on, wonwoo never leaves your side. almost as if he was scared that he'd truly lose you, and he realises that he never wants that to happen, ever.

woozi

guys. guys prince jihoon is perfect for a prince x knight trope. prince jihoon who's head knight and always ends up sniping with you, the one knight in his charge that always snarks back. prince jihoon who spars with his knights often and always seems to be the closest in skill level with you. prince jihoon who mostly sees you in your armour so to see you dressed in finery at a ball makes him blink because you're actually rather beautiful. and you, who feel torn between your duty and the comfortable banter that you've developed with the crown prince that makes you crave more and more every time he turns to leave.

minghao

you rarely go out to balls but this time your family convinces you to come to the masquerade ball the royal family are holding for the crown prince. there, you meet a handsome masked man, who leads you through one of the fast dances and has you laughing into him before you share a fascinatingly intellectual conversation with him until the ball ends and from there, you're whisked away by your chatty (but well-meaning) family and you never see him again until a dramatic encounter at the market where you're about to get robbed but a familiar voice steps in. is it a cliche plot? yeah, but prince minghao is drawn to be utterly gorgeous so people will stay for the art

mingyu

is literally soooo drop-dead gorgeous that you promise yourself you're not gonna fall in love with him bc like???? he's the prince from a neighbouring kingdom that you're being forced to marry. this off-the-charts handsomeness is just a ploy to get you to act out a cliche of falling for him. but the more time you spend with him, the more you find that despite being (almost terrifyingly) handsome, he's also kind of... adorable? so... maybe you'll rethink your decision to not fall in love with him.... especially when he trips over his feet and accidentally blurts out how he's in love with you when on a walk in the palace gardens

dokyeom

ray-of-sunshine crown prince who is so annoyingly perfect that you feel kind of irritated. literally it's soooo obvious that the writer has a thing for puppy-coded sunshine bright boys bc it even makes the reader fall for him too. you have an (admittedly one-sided) rivalry with him, bc he's just so kind and loved by all and it fills you with hatred bc you've been nothing but despised and shunned your entire life. but then, some small, kind gesture that he does to you marks the beginning of change in your feelings, and it's as his eyes find yours during yet another ball that you realise... oh. perhaps you've fallen for him after all.

seungkwan

spoilt brat. but also your childhood best friend, so you've learnt to deal with his tendencies and know how to hold him back from kicking someone in the shins in a very un-royal way, and have even grown to love him. like a friend, ofc. however, the weird feeling in your stomach from seeing him having to entertain foreign royalty.... it's definitely not jealousy, right? definitely not. at least, you don't think it is, until seungkwan and you overhear his parents talking of an arranged marriage with another kingdom and you realise with startling clarity that you never want to lose seungkwan to someone else

vernon

honestly. vernon is probably the ordinary guy who was isekai-ed into a fantasy novel as the crown prince. but like, Why does he manage to do so well in his role???? he's panicking the entire time, but he's not necessarily doing badly, and he manages to make you fall for him even harder than you do in the original novel. the second male lead doesn't even have the chance to be an option bc vernon is literally the only person you see. he doesn't know how it happens, but he speed-runs the entire book in one month and then you're confessing your love for him and uh. he might actually be in love with you too.

chan

prince chan is the most gentle and most courteous prince of all time. bows all deeply and respectfully when you first meet him, and he's careful not to touch you without your permission. has such a captivating smile and such captivating words that you can't help but find your gaze gravitating to him at all times. stares at you all awed when you laugh at a particularly funny joke he made. he will 100% definitely treat you right forever. kisses you all soft when he leaves for a battle, your handkerchief tucked into his clothes as a reminder of what he can never leave behind

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @hanniehaee @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @jeonghanfr

[puppy-phum]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 6: Pete & Way

King of Diamonds: A person with great wealth and power. Often skilled in various areas, a jack of all trades. Ten of Spades: A card of misfortune and tragic endings. Reveals secrets, obsessions, and lies.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 6 prompts: pete & way

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

pete and way are the last pair in this series and i have to say that it feels fitting. they are the pair with no ending, the pair left the most incomplete in season 1. way dies for redemption (which is stupid imo) before he's able to ever open up to pete and his attempts to get closer to way. pete is only left with a grave, yet nothing seems to end. (pls s2 come quicker, i need way to have his glorious back from the dead -moment already!)

pete: just like alan, i think pete's card is very obvious and so, very cliché. he's the king of diamonds through and through, the person often associated with money and power. he's very proud of what he's accomplished in life, yet always thrives to be more, to be bigger, better, more powerful. he's in a war against his adoptive father in the only way he knows how, and so he must always be on the rise. he has no chance of letting loose, and i think we all can agree that he works way too much and rests too little. he is often stuck being not quite himself, lonely at the top. it must be hard when we can see that beneath the business persona, pete is horribly warm.

this is why king of diamonds is also described as charitable, generous, and reliable. once again, pete is a lot like alan, but where alan offers his heart, pete offers resources: money, connections, and his skills. he's tried his best to become invincible in every way just like his adoptive father seems to be. he's great in socializing, in doing business, even in combat and tactics. he's driven by his wish to help, and i guess that often ties to his compassion and understanding. that's why he hasn't given up on kenta and that's why he instantly reaches out for way, too. pete might not be able to provide a family in the way alan does, but pete is able to reach out a helping hand. he can offer a place to stay for those who have nowhere else to go and no one else to listen to them. he cares, and just like with work, it's sometimes too much. he does not get a break from it.

way: it was easy to decide that spades was way's suit; a little later, i decided on number ten. i was first thinking about ace of spades bc it's the death card of the deck, but i did not want to make way only about his death when it's the thing i dislike about his character so much. so, i decided on ten bc of the "tragic ending", which is not way's death, even if it kind of is. i think the true tragic ending comes for him earlier; with the reveal of his betrayal that causes him to lose everything he's ever had. he loses his pack, his family, his home; he loses himself, and all his self-worth, and worst of all, babe. bc he does love babe, even if it's in all the wrong ways. way has tried his best, has tried to do what he thought was right, and in the end, it is not enough to solve anything or save babe. (and so he must die, but let's ignore that.)

in a sense, the reveal of that betrayal is both the end and a beginning for way. after it's it's a way for him to be born again. he can give up on all the lies, all the acting and pretending. he's used so much time and effort keeping up his web of lies he must be exhausted by now. how many times did he almost trip? how many times did he forget what lies he'd told and had to come up with new ones, or had to use his powers to fix his mistakes? now, there's no longer need for any of that. he can finally breathe freely. no more lies, no more acting, no more being someone else. everything is out in the open and it must be terrifying bc the ppl who loved him before, would they reject this real version of him? even if they were not this hurt, didn't hate him, would they still not want way? what if tony is right and there's nothing to love about him? i don't know but i hate that the series never let way find out. but well, in season 2 we trust, i suppose. i have hopes and dreams about it <3

but based on these thoughts, it's easy to see why pete and way would work together. way is the master of deception, of lies and acting. pete is able to read people, literally and figuratively. there's no hiding from him and his touch, and i think in some ways, way needs exactly that. he needs someone to understand him without words, or to look into his head and put his thoughts into words for him. pete again needs someone he can trust with his softer side, which i also find interesting about him: he is so ready to offer his heart to way even after knowing who way is and what his powers can do. pete seems like a paradox in that sense, always keeping everyone and everything at a distance (or so i assume), yet being so ready to believe in ppl and offer them trust he's seen so easily broken.

there are also some other interesting connections to this pair i wanted to mention. the funniest coincidence imo is that babe's card is about new beginnings, while way's card is now about tragic or bad endings. also, charlie's card being the exact half of way's (5 and 10) seems to have some kind of story behind it. pete again has the same suit as kenta, both their cards in the royal family, and i think that's exactly why they work and don't work together. pete is exactly like the king, the one on top and in control, while kenta is the knight, the person who serves and follows. they're both calm in personality, tho am not sure if it's exactly who they are or if it's who they were forced to become. i wonder what could've been if kenta had left with pete – or if they'd never been taken by tony at all and had grown up like other kids.

this edit concludes my musings for all these characters. it's been a joy to make these and ponder on these boys, and honestly, i feel like i've found a completely new love and appreciation for all of them. thank you for all who have liked these edits and happy anniversary to the vroom vroom omegaverse bl, you've been stellar ♥ never thought i'd come back to you in a year but here we are, have my whole heart!

(idk if i'll make an edit for the last week, so also adding that i enjoyed the event a ton! it's been fun going to the tag and seeing everybody talk about the series again. looking forward to s2 and the anniversary stage live in less than two weeks ^^)

[nolanfoster]

honest to god i think maxwell arnold is the best person in the world to play nolan. he's one of those characters that i genuinely cannot see another soul acting as bc – well, nolan is maxwell. i think that's something that was really notable about this series. the characters are, in certain ways, the people playing them. those personality traits, mannerisms, speech patterns, etc carry over and make these characters so special and memorable. and nolan is not an easy character to understand or write. that's why i think he was interpreted so poorly in the books because his humor and wit is so difficult to recreate. hell, nolan's an egotistical person, yet he isn't unlikeable in the slightest. but in the books ( and yes, this is absolutely my biggest qualm about them ) nolan is so ... dry. he has zero personality, no humor, and i do not like his relationship with sunshine. they're just so boring together! and their kiss in the second book, or almost kiss ( i actually can't remember ), holds nooo emotional weight whatsoever. while there is certainly a problem with the pacing, nolan just. wouldn't have done that! and i know book nolan is different than youtube nolan, but i truly just don't think it fits in the slightest. nolan falls so flat and it's really heartbreaking to see when he's the absolute best character in the youtube series.

what makes nolan in the original series so interesting is that - he's betraying sunshine! he's there to gain her trust, spy on her, and report back to the markons. he's not even necessarily human at that point, which isn't something you'd know by looking at him, but he's a groundling! and yet, he ends up betraying the markons. he comes clean to sunshine – he even admits that the power of being a groundling is attractive, but that it's not worth it. because he loves sunshine, he loves her family, and he's realized that the side he chose was wrong. another thing i love about this series – the gray area of some of our protagonists ( which is a post i'll work on for another time! but nolan and victoria are too interesting and have made too many mistakes to not discuss ). and nolan's almost kiss with sunshine in the youtube series is great! he steps forward to do it, holds her hands, but he can't. not only because he knows it's not what he should do, but i think his cowardice took over. and i just love that. he grows so much in the series and i really love seeing him go from someone who's terrified of spirits to someone who's willing to take them head on to protect sunshine. but my point here is, nolan is a character with depth and genuine emotion, yet they strip all of that from him in the books. they try, with his grandfather, but it doesn't add up to his betrayal and motive in the youtube series.

and this is another reason i'm ... kind of glad there was no tv show? to me, it's obvious that maxwell arnold wanted out and that's why they killed nolan – and why he's appeared in such spotty places later on in the series. that being said, i highly doubt he would've signed any kind of contract to do a television series, because i think he just kind of wants to leave the whole nolan thing behind. so someone else would've played nolan, and i just can't see that. this isn't really a character that can be re-created or re-cast in any sort of sense. and while i am a little sad that the good old days of this series are over, i'll always have it in my memory, and nolan will always be there for me to go back and watch <3

[thebaldergatescandal]

Here's my interpretation:

Cut bc im talking about vampire sex crimes

1. He's inflating that number. He minimized, denied and made light, to cope with what he had to do to survive, while he was in that situation, and as soon as he is able to openly say (in his mind, and to tav) this was something I was forced into and never wanted, every kiss and line he performed without feeling becomes counted with the bigger disgusting violations, in his emotional recollection, because theyre part of the same pattern.

2. He describes Cazador's tortures explicitly in sexual sadism terms, Cazador calls Astarion's screams as "pretty" or the scarring for example, being a "night they spent together" - and Astarion always uses these kind of flowery euphemisms for sex. I can see some of that being classed in his head as instances of sexual servitude, especially if he is expected to be compliant/grateful for the attention.

2a. Notably, the "got on my back" line i think comes after the scene with the drow. She treats Tav confidently as Astarion's master, and you have the option to just tell him to perform an act that disgusts him. I think he's telling on himself about the nature of a lot of his faux-romantic and sexual manipulations, and I think a lot of it was at Cazador's direct command, made worse by the fact that he had to find and choose these individuals, and perhaps often there was a genuine spark there to start with.

4. I actually picture some of his nights as Astarion acting as lover to distract a victim once theyre at Cazador's mansion, to keep them from noticing their captivity, to keep them calm and give them a nice experience before the tortures begin. And then even in the best case scenarion Astarion's somewhat twisted but genuine impulse toward kindness leads to hatred and betrayal from his victims every time, when he is complicit in the tortures after all, and not able to free them or oppose Cazador. He's not the only one who didnt choose the proceedings, Cazador made him a rapist.

4. I have this feeling that Astarion's bad lines and silliness are sort of stemming from the fact that outside of Cazador's control he has the freedom to fail. He's maybe self sabotaging a little, as much as hes showing his real self, when he pitches unbelievable compliments to tav until tav asks him if he's having fun. If it's life or death, I can see him much more laser focused on what works to keep a target's attention where he needs it to be, with a much more ruthless and effective dissociation.

I've had to admit to myself that I don't actually understand the mechanics of the sexually promiscuous part of Astarion's backstory. He says, after all, that he "got on his back thousands of times". And...I just can't quite see how and why. Maybe someone on Tumblr can help.

We are told that Astarion had to bring lots of victims to Cazador - alive. Ok.

Let's take it as a given that despite Astarion being of room temperature, having CHA 10, and an arsenal of really cringy pickup lines, his easiest way of getting those victims was seduction. After all, it is pretty self-evident that he is attractive.

I can imagine that convincing someone to go home with him involved flirting, making out, etc - all distressing and traumatizing on their own given the situation. But... you don't need to actually sleep with someone to before inviting them over under the pretense of having sex. In fact that rather defeats the purpose?

In the Mansion, Astarion points out the room where he says he (quoting loosely) "entertained the victims until Cazador showed up to collect them". But if they just needed to be alive for Cazador's collection, why actually sleep with them? Why not bring the victim into the room, knock them out and read a book until Cazador shows up or something?

I can't rationalize the extent of Astarion's sexual trauma without having to start assuming that there were many times where he was forced to sleep with people where it wasn't practically necessary for victim collection. Does anyone have an alternative explanation. I... really don't like my conclusion.

[whenisitenoughtrees]

Might I suggest “I don’t want to be alone.” with Royaliceit?

okay um. this one really got away from me, as i’m sure you can tell from the word count, so i really hope you like roman angst (w/ a happy ending, bc i’m not a monster)

Title: we are not alone (in the dark with our demons)

Word Count: 5,888

Content Warnings: roman-typical self-worth issues

(fic masterpost)

Roman has never really known what love is.

Oh, he pretends well enough. That’s his job, after all. He is Thomas’ hopes and dreams, his most romantic fantasies, and he performs that role well, spouting off suggestions about grand gestures and acts of true love and deeds of valor and honor and bravery. And it’s not as if he’s lying; based on every story he’s ever read, every Disney movie he’s ever watched, that is the epitome of what romance should be. And he thinks he would like that, would like to execute these grand gestures for someone, would like to sweep someone off their feet, be their savior, their hero.

Someone becomes Patton so gradually that he doesn’t notice for a very long time. Doesn’t notice how his heart beats faster whenever Patton is in the room, doesn’t notice how he hangs off Patton’s every word, doesn’t notice how he would do just about anything to get Patton to smile at him. Or rather, he does notice, sort of, in a vague, curious way. He’s just not sure what it means.

And then comes the wedding. And Roman thinks he understands what love is after all. Because the words of the others have always hurt him, their criticisms and mockery never as easily shaken off as he likes them to think, but this? This is something different. He watches as Patton sides with Deceit, with the side he was told not to believe, was told was in the wrong, was told was bad for Thomas, so you shouldn’t listen to him, Roman! He watches as Patton sides with Deceit, as Thomas sides with Deceit, upending everything he thought he believed, and the betrayal hits him like a knife to his chest. And he knows that it wouldn’t sting nearly so much if he didn’t trust Patton, if he wasn’t willing to follow him anywhere, if he didn’t love him, and the realization is far more bitter than sweet.

So, love is this: heartbreak, the stifling silences between breaths, and the words, we love you, said as if he is supposed to accept them.

He doesn’t. And why should he? He works so hard, tries his best every hour of every day, and this is what it gets him? A blow to the back of his head, faded and empty promises, a snake whispering in the dark, and Thomas turning away from him. You are! rings in his head, stuttered, placating, a lie.

And perhaps Thomas is right. Perhaps they are all right. And if Deceit is right, then he must be wrong. Isn’t that how it goes? Someone has to be the villain, after all. What else is he, if not a washed-up prince, a hero that has never managed to save anyone, a Creativity that is not nearly as good as he portrays himself to be?

God. No wonder they don’t love him.

So he throws himself into being better, into being more. He swallows his pride and apologizes to Deceit— to Janus, he supposes, though something about using the name still leaves an acrid taste in the back of his throat— and if the apology is a bit halfhearted, not entirely meant, Deceit doesn’t call him out on it, and he doesn’t call out Deceit’s apology in turn (and he has no idea, none at all, whether he means it sincerely or not. He can never tell, anymore, whether the words out of Deceit’s mouth are lies or truths, and sometimes, he thinks it doesn’t matter either way).

He asks Logan for input more often. He tries harder not to antagonize Virgil, or at least, not in the ways that truly bother him. He smiles at Patton when Patton approaches him, smiles and insists that he’s fine, even though he feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest and dropped into oncoming traffic.

And Patton believes him. That is, perhaps, what hurts worst of all, that he doesn’t see the way he’s falling apart beneath the thin veneer of bravado.

But he can’t blame him for that. Roman is, if nothing else, a good actor. A good liar.

He spends more time working, coming up with ideas that are bigger and better than any of his previous ones. He presents them to Thomas, and acts like his entire being isn’t screaming for some form of validation, any scrap of affection, any crumb that might tell him that Thomas doesn’t think he’s too much of a failure after all. And sometimes, he gets that. Sometimes, the ideas are good. Sometimes, Thomas grins and thanks him and congratulates him on a job well done.

More often, the ideas aren’t good enough. More often, it’s back to the drawing board. He barely sleeps these days, can barely be bothered to try.

And he thinks about love a lot. Thinks in the privacy and secrecy of his own mind that maybe, love isn’t worth it, if it hurts this much. Thinks that he wishes that these feelings would go away, and then maybe, he could begin to claw his way back toward normalcy.

But he’s too aware of it, now. Too aware of the way that Patton smiles and moves, too aware of his kindness and his concern and the way he always tries to take such good care of everyone. The betrayal still sits heavy in his chest, but it’s like an old wound, now, one that still pains him but one that he can ignore most days, because in the end, he’s not sure that Patton was wrong at all in what he did, in choosing Deceit over him. He thinks that maybe he was wrong, that he still is, and he’s doing his best to change that, but he has never known how to be anything different from what he is. He has only known how to cover it all up, how to wrap himself in glittering paper and a shiny bow and hope that no one looks too closely at what lies underneath.

Perhaps he’s getting too lost in his own head. Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t see it coming.

It’s the only explanation he can think of. He should have noticed it, otherwise, should have seen the way that Patton and Deceit inch together, like two stars sliding into each other’s orbits. He should have seen the cautious glances, charged with so much more emotion than words could say, should have seen the tentative touches, should have seen the way they angle themselves toward each other whenever they’re in the same room. He should have seen it, should have guessed it, but he didn’t, so when Patton announces one night, over dinner, that he and Janus have decided to begin a relationship, he is taken completely by surprise.

Logan extends congratulations. Virgil’s blessing is far more cautious, still very wary of Deceit’s increased presence in their lives, but he appears glad for Patton, at least. And Roman offers the loudest, most boisterous well-wishes he can think of, professing his joy for Patton’s newfound happiness, putting forth anything and everything he can think of to direct attention away from the fact that on the inside, he just feels—

Numb.

Numb. Cold. Empty.

He knew he couldn’t have him. He knew that Patton could never return his affections. But apparently, there is a great deal of difference between knowing and knowing, and that difference is sobbed into his pillow in the early hours of the morning.

He falls into an uneasy sleep, and his dreams are of Patton, Patton smiling, Patton laughing, Patton telling him that he did good, Patton kissing him and tasting of citrus and cotton candy. And then, the dreams change, and Janus is there, too, sliding around the edges, smooth and confident and beautiful, his every motion poetry, his every glance a caress, and Roman takes his face in his hands and kisses him just as soundly as he did Patton, and then, he wakes up, shaking.

This cannot be right. This cannot be right, because these are all the emotions he pushed deep, deep down inside of him, never to see the light of day again. These are the emotions that he rejected after the theater, after the courtroom, after everyone told him time and time again that Deceit was wrong, that Deceit was bad, and if he wanted to be right, wanted to be good, he needed to treat Deceit like the villain he was. And so he did, and pretended that he has never wondered what Deceit’s lips would feel like on his, what it would be like to trace his fingers down those glimmering scales.

It seems that the time for pretending is over.

Once ended, an illusion cannot be reformed. The audience knows the trick now, would see right through any further conjuration. And Roman, too, can no longer fool himself into believing that what he feels does not exist, or that it will go away if he ignores it. He watches Patton, and he watches Janus, and he watches them together, cooking in the kitchen or cuddling on the sofa or simply sitting near each other and enjoying the company, and he burns for them, bright and hot and never-ending, fueled by the sheer force of his want. Roman is passion and Roman is desire, and he desires them, desires their attention and their affection and their love, and it’s like an arrow to his heart to know that he cannot have them, cannot have this.

Because they already have each other. And even if he were worthy of them in the first place, there is no space for him between them.

So, he does the hardest thing he has ever done in his life, and he pulls away.

He tries not to be obvious about it, tries not to do anything that might arouse suspicion or concern. He works longer, harder, makes excuses to miss meals and family gatherings. Loneliness settles into him like a physical weight, one that presses against his chest and makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes, he feels as though he stands on the edge of a precipice, a yawning chasm below, and all he has to do to fall is take one step forward. Sometimes, he feels as though he’s already falling, the wind whistling in his ears, gravity dragging him ever downward.

They give him looks, sometimes. Patton more often than Janus, though that might just be because Janus is more subtle. He can never interpret these looks. They’re always contemplative, perhaps a bit confused, perhaps a bit sad, and he doesn’t know what that means. Part of him fears that they’ve figured it out, figured him out, him and his hopeless, stupid love. Part of him wants them to, wants them to see right past him to all his dirty secrets, wants them to rip the bandage off, to let him down gently, to tell him what he already knows.

Part of him wants to fall.

The loneliness becomes tangible, surrounding him like a fog. He’s surprised no one else can see it. But then, that is the point, isn’t it?

He’s chosen this.

And it all hits him one evening, as the sun has just begun to set and he’s skipped yet another dinner, claiming to be off on a quest in the Imagination. He hasn’t been on a quest for a while, hasn’t been able to muster up the energy, or the persona. Quests are for princes, for heroes, and these days, he’s not so sure that he’s either of those. He certainly doesn’t feel like one. He plans to work instead, to churn out a few more video ideas for Thomas in the hopes that one is usable.

He finds himself curling up in a ball in the corner of his room, tears stinging in his eyes.

There’s no particular reason for it. Nothing about today has been any worse than any other recent days. This feels like something that has building for a while, like a rubber band stretched until it snaps. And he feels like he’s snapped, like something essential in him has broken, and he knows that he should be able to move past this, should get back up and get back to work, but he can’t, and that fact just sends him spiraling more, because if he can’t create anything and he can’t love properly, then what good is he?

He shudders, choking on a sob and sucking in a desperate breath. He stuffs his fist in his mouth, trying to muffle the cries that seek to escape him, as if from a wounded animal, and perhaps that’s exactly what he is. A wounded animal, begging for comfort, for solace, and finding nothing at all.

He wants someone here. Just, someone. Anyone. Someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be alright, even if it’s a lie. Someone to dry his tears, to grasp his hands, to touch him. He wants it and he can’t have it, and he feels so, so alone.

Even if he deserved reassurance, he wouldn’t seek it. He’s supposed to be strong, supposed to be a prince, for heaven’s sake, and even if he knows just how weak he truly is, the others don’t.

He can’t let anyone see him like this.

And that is when the knock sounds on his door, as if summoned by his thoughts. Four times, a light, quick beat. He freezes, alarm coursing through him.

“Hey, Roman?” It’s Patton. It’s Patton, and he sounds worried, and Roman hates himself for becoming a source of stress. “I, uh, I brought you dinner. I know you said you’d grab something later, but you haven’t been down for a meal with everyone in a while, so, uh. I’m getting a little bit worried about you. Could I come in?”

He takes a steadying breath. He needs to respond, because if he doesn’t, Patton will likely enter anyway, just to check on him. So he needs to reply, and hope for the life of him that whatever he says is good enough to persuade him to leave, to persuade him that all is well.

“Just leave it outside the door,” he calls out. His voice sounds thick and clumsy even to his own ears. It’s because of the tears, but perhaps he can claim he just woke up from a nap, if Patton asks. “I’ll grab it in a bit.” And then, he winces, because that sounds rude, sounds callous, sounds like he doesn’t care that Patton has made the effort to come up here and bring him food. It’s quite the opposite; he cares far too much. So he tacks on, “Thanks, Pat,” hoping that at least some of his gratitude will come across.

Instead, his voice breaks, and his breath hitches as he forcibly suppresses another sob.

For a long moment, Patton is silent.

“Are you… okay?” he asks. “I’m coming in, Roman.”

No.

“Please don’t,” he says, and realizes even as he does that his voice is too frantic, too desperate, and it won’t fool Patton for even a second. “I’m fine.”

The doorknob turns, and the door slowly swings open. Not all the way, just enough for Patton to poke his head through, his brows furrowed in concern. There is a plate in his hands, and the room fills with the scent of cooked pasta. Spaghetti, he thinks. One of his favorites.

“You don’t sound fine,” Patton says, and then his gaze finally lands on Roman, and Roman would like to melt into the floor in shame. He knows what he must look like, knows he must seem an utter disaster, with his rumpled clothes and tear-stained face, curled up in the corner like the pathetic mess of a side he is.

“Oh,” Patton says, eyes widening. He seems shocked for a moment, but then, he is moving, entering the room all the way and rushing to Roman’s side, setting the plate down on his desk before kneeling next to him, hands outstretched but not touching, not quite, as if he’s unsure of his welcome. “Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong? What can I do?”

He shakes his head, staring at him, because how is he supposed to tell Patton the truth? How is he supposed to tell him that he aches for him, him and Janus both, longs to disrupt the happiness they’ve found in each other? How is he supposed to tell him that he’s pulled away to try to get over himself, to prevent himself from doing something rash, to attempt to make the problem disappear, and instead has only succeeded in making himself feel worse? How is he supposed to admit any of this?

How is he supposed to admit that he’s a failure?

“It’s just…” he starts. “It’s too much, right now. I’ll, I’ll be okay, I just need…” He cuts himself off, burying his face in his hands, because he knows exactly what he needs, and he can’t let himself say it out loud, but if he voices anything else, it would be a lie, and he’s already lying to Patton so much, and he’s so tired.

“What do you need, honey?” Patton asks, but he just curls in on himself more.

New strategy: maybe if he doesn’t answer at all, Patton will get fed up and leave. It’s unlikely, because that’s just not the kind of person that Patton is. But it’s the only viable plan he has left.

Patton doesn’t leave.

“That’s okay, Roman. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wanna.” Patton hesitates, and Roman is tempted to look at him, to take the measure of whatever expression is on his face. “Would it be alright if I touched you?”

And he does look then, looks and finds that the only emotion on Patton’s face is concern, a desire to help, so he nods, and Patton reaches out to him, gathering him into his arms, and Roman can’t remember the last time he was touched like this. He feels so safe, so warm, and so terribly, horribly guilty, because he can’t feel like he’s taking advantage of him, because Patton has no idea about the feelings that flutter in his chest, traitorous and excited by something so simple as mere contact, and his mind is so eager to twist this situation around, to make more out of it than it is.

Patton cares about him. He feels more secure about that than he used to. But it is the same kind of care that Patton offers to everyone, and he feels so selfish and awful for desiring more than that, and for not having the courage to even own up to doing so.

But he still relaxes into the embrace, lets Patton rub soothing circles into his back, even though it makes him sob harder, this moment that is so close to what he wants and yet so far.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Patton murmurs, “I promise. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

He shakes his head mutely. It’s all he can do.

Nothing is going to be okay. But he doesn’t have the words to explain that.

But maybe, if he can live in this moment for just a little while longer, he will regain the strength to pretend.

“Patton?” The voice floats in from outside his room, and he stiffens. “You’ve been gone for a while. Is everything— oh.”

Roman shifts his head, and his vision is blurry, but he can just make out the figure standing in his doorway, awkward and discomfited, his hands twitching as if he doesn’t know where to place them. It’s Janus, because of course it is Janus, come looking for his boyfriend, and here Roman is, taking up both of their time, now, and there is a part of him that selfishly delights in it, that insists that if this is all he will ever get from them, he might as well make the most of it.

“I can—” Janus shuffles his feet, oddly hesitant. “Here, I’ll just—”

He moves as to leave, and close the door behind him, and suddenly, that is the last thing Roman wants. It is too late to pretend that this never happened, too late to prevent him from seeing his humiliation in the first place. At this point, what is a little more selfishness?

“You can stay,” he murmurs, and he’s sure he doesn’t sound at all convincing, but Janus pauses anyway, a crease forming between his brows. When he enters the room, he does so cautiously, as if expecting Roman to change his mind at any moment, but he does enter, and that is what is most important. He kneels beside Patton, and Roman is certain that they exchange a glance over his head, some silent communication, before Janus tentatively reaches out and places a hand on Roman’s arm. It is clear that he is not practiced in offering comfort, but the fact that he is willing to try at all is enough to add to the tears still streaming down his face.

“Would you like to tell us what’s wrong?” Janus asks, and even when Roman doesn’t answer with anything more than hitching breaths and shallow sobs, turning his face back into Patton’s shirt because he can’t face this kindness, Janus doesn’t push him for more. Just sits there and offers silent support and a single source of contact.

It’s too much, really, having the both of them here, having Patton hugging him and Janus touching him, both of them offering care but not the kind of care that Roman wants most. And it’s so wrong of him to fool them into giving this to him, because this means so much more to him than it does to them and they have no idea. He’s essentially tricking them, tricking them in the worst kind of way, and the longer he sits there, crying against Patton’s chest, the worse he feels about it.

And eventually, his tears run dry. And he knows he has to end this.

“I’m okay now,” he mumbles, turning his head so that he’s no longer speaking into Patton’s shirt. “You guys can go.”

Janus arches a brow, and belatedly, Roman remembers that lying to the Lord of the Lies is an inadvisable move at best.

“Is that right?” Janus asks, doubt dripping from every syllable. He’s not aiming to wound, but Roman flinches anyway. “You’ve spent the past twenty minutes sobbing your heart out, and there’s absolutely no underlying reason that needs to be dealt with? Everything’s all hunky-dory?”

He wriggles out of Patton’s hold with no small amount of regret, shifting backward until there is a few feet of space between him and both of them. He tries to fix his expression into some semblance of a glare, though he’s certain it’s not very effective. He must look like a train wreck.

“All hunky-dory,” he confirms, and has to pause, because literally who says that anymore? He shouldn’t find that endearing. He shouldn’t. “I was just… overwhelmed. That’s all.”

It’s not technically a lie, so Janus shouldn’t be able to sense anything off. But he narrows his eyes in suspicion, reminding Roman that he’s still perfectly capable of detecting half-truths the normal way, though plain observation.

“You have been putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself lately,” Patton says, and Roman turns to him in surprise. Patton winces, wringing his hands. “I mean… I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries here, but it seems to me that we barely see you anymore, ‘cause you’re always holed up in here working. And I’m not saying that you need to stop or anything like that, especially not if you’re feeling a lot of inspiration these days, but, um. We miss you.” He pauses. “I miss you.” He says the last in an undertone, glancing at his lap, and Roman blinks.

“I didn’t…” He stops, trying to get his thoughts in order, but it’s a hopeless task. His thoughts are flying every which way, no rhyme or reason to them. “That is, I didn’t mean to—”

“If you’re going to finish that sentence with something along the lines of, I didn’t mean to avoid you, you needn’t bother,” Janus interrupts. His voice is smooth and unreadable, and something about it makes Roman want to crawl under a rock and hide there. “It’s fairly obvious to me that that’s exactly what you’ve been doing.” Patton frowns then, looking at Janus and opening his mouth to say something, but Janus holds up a hand, forestalling him. “What I don’t understand is why? Or at least, why Patton? Me, I get.”

It takes a moment for him to realize what Janus is saying, his mind taking far too long to wrangle his words into something approaching sense. “Wait, what?” he blurts out. “Why would you… why would you ‘get it’ if I was avoiding you?”

This is, perhaps, not the most urgent question he needs to ask. But he’s confused, now, confused and beginning to realize that once again, his actions may have had unintended consequences.

Janus looks at him like he’s crazy. “Roman, I am not unaware that you dislike me. And that’s… perfectly fine. After everything I’ve put you through, I… well, as I said, I understand.” He pauses, inhaling deeply, seeming to steady himself. “Again, I’m not asking for me. And I would appreciate an answer.”

Roman can only stare, his horror mounting as he realizes that Janus means every word of what he’s saying, that Janus truly believes that Roman doesn’t like him, and oh god, he’s gone and fucked all of this up, hasn’t he? He didn’t think they would notice him stepping back, much less draw the wrong conclusions, but apparently they have, and he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. He can lean into this, pretend to be angry with them, pretend not to want them around, no matter how much that would break him. Or he can tell them the truth, and be broken in an entirely different way when they reject him, kindly at best and in disgust at worst. There’s no good option, and it’s all he can do to keep his breathing even, to keep his lungs functioning.

But he looks at Janus, his face set into hard lines. And he looks at Patton, who doesn’t meet his eyes, whose dejection is shining through every inch of his slumped posture and in the way he fiddles with his fingers, anxious and discontent.

He didn’t think this would hurt them. Frankly, he thought they were too wrapped up in each other to notice much of what he was doing at all. But evidently, he has miscalculated, badly, and there is no good option, but he knows which one will hurt them less.

He’s been selfish enough.

He releases a shuddering breath, shaking his head and staring at the floor. He doesn’t have it in him to look at them, to watch their reactions to what he’s about to say. “I’m really sorry,” he says, and his voice emerges as a miserable whisper. “I didn’t, I didn’t mean to make you think that—” He cuts off. Gathers his thoughts into a coherent sentence. By the nine muses, this is difficult. “I don’t… I don’t dislike you. Either of you. Um, it’s the opposite. I, uh, like you a lot. Both of you. Too much.” He curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach, as if to hide, though he knows that there is no hiding from this, no going back. “I just, you two were so happy, and I didn’t want to, to get in the way, or ruin something, but I guess I failed at that too, huh? I… god, I’m so sorry.”

He stops talking. There’s nothing more he can say. It’s out in the open, now. No take-backs.

He’s not sure what he’s expecting. But it’s not for Patton to lunge forward, to grab him by the shoulders and jerk him upright, to force eye contact, sudden and startled.

“You could never,” Patton insists, and to Roman’s dismay, his voice is choked with tears. “Do you hear me? You could never, ever ruin anything.” He sniffles, then, losing some of his intensity, and leans forward, pressing his forehead against Roman’s. “I thought that I’d messed up,” he says. “I thought that it was still too much, after the wedding and everything that happened, and that you still wanted space, or time, and I felt so guilty because I didn’t want to let you have that, but I thought that if it was what you wanted, then I shouldn’t—” He sighs, cutting himself off and closing his eyes. A tear slips out from between his eyelids.

Roman, for his part, barely dares to breathe. Patton is so close.

“You,” he says, a stuttering start, because he doesn’t know what he’s saying, doesn’t know what Patton is saying, “you, what do you—”

“I like you a lot, too,” Patton says, and Roman can see the way his eyes shine and swirl, his irises a smeared mixture of Thomas’ brown and his own signature blue. “I have for… gosh, a really long time now. I guess I never thought there was a good time for me to do something about it, and then with the… everything, I thought for sure that you didn’t… I’m so sorry, Roman. You’ve been hurting all this time and I didn’t… I couldn’t…” He trails off into a sniffle, and as much as Roman would like to comfort him, he is frozen, working through the words that echo in his ears and in his brain.

Because he can’t have said what he thinks he’s just said, right? Because that would mean—

Unable to help himself, he looks over to Janus, expecting to see anger or dismay or something of the like, because if Roman is hearing this correctly, if Roman is interpreting this correctly, then Patton… Patton has just confessed to having feelings for him. And that in itself is difficult to process, impossible to accept, but surely Janus can’t approve of this, can’t allow this to happen, can’t let Roman get between him and his boyfriend—

Janus is staring, his eyes flitting back and forth between the two of them, and his expression is open and unguarded but there is no anger there, no fear, and when he catches Roman looking, it softens, suddenly, inexorably, and Roman can’t hope to understand it because he must be seeing wrong, because it looks an awful lot like—

Well. It looks an awful lot like the way he looks at Patton.

“You’ve always captivated me,” Janus says, simply, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “I… I know that I’ve flattered you in the past, but I, ah. I might have meant more of it than I wanted to let on.” He glances away, as if embarrassed, and Roman feels as though he’s floating. “I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t acquitted myself well, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

“We’ve talked about this, a little bit,” Patton says softly, and Roman drags his attention back to him, little though he wants to look away from Janus, from this confession that he can scarcely bring himself to believe. “You, that is. We both love you a whole lot, Roman. We didn’t think you’d be interested, so we didn’t bring it up before. But we’d be really, really happy if you’d join us, honey.”

He shudders, tearing himself away from Patton and immediately feeling the loss, the cold air against his forehead. He doesn’t know what to do, or what do say, and most of him can’t absorb the fact that this is happening, that this is real, that after so long being on his own, they’re both here, they know that he loves them, and they want him in return.

He should be ecstatic. Over the moon. Jumping for joy. But he has never once allowed himself to believe that he might have this, has never so much as entertained the possibility, so now, presented with everything he has longed for, he feels so terribly overwhelmed.

“It’s up to you,” Patton says softly. He reaches out, and when Roman doesn’t move to stop him, he takes his hand, and Roman could cry, he really could. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, whatever you want, we can do.”

He shakes his head desperately, a multitude of words springing to his lips but all of them falling short of being spoken, because he doesn’t know how to explain this, how to explain that it’s too much, being asked this, being asked what he wants, because he wants anything and everything, but he has spent so long telling himself that he can’t that he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s being told that he can.

And some of that must show on his face, because Patton scoots closer, concern driving a furrow in his brow, but then, suddenly, Janus is there, a steady presence at his side, one hand gently resting on his shoulder.

“It’s alright if you’re not ready for that,” he says, and Roman has never heard Janus speak so tenderly. Not like this, not to him. “It’s alright if you’re not ready for anything at all. But if you’d like, you could try starting with what you don’t want.”

At first, he’s not sure what Janus means, not sure how that will help. But then, his perspective flips, and he finds it easier, somehow, to focus on that, rather than the alternative. He wants so much, and he is too used to denying himself, but at this point, he knows very well what he doesn’t want.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he gasps out, and it’s practically a sob, weak and shattered. “Please, don’t leave me alone.”

Patton shifts closer once again, wrapping his arms around him for a second time. And Janus is here, too, pressing up against his side.

“Never,” Patton swears. “You never have to be alone, not ever again.”

“And that’s the whole truth and nothing but,” Janus adds, a bit wry but somehow still infinitely soft.

And they stay. With him. Just because he asked. And slowly, their proclamations sink in, the idea that perhaps they really do love him return, and goodness, he’s been so foolish, hasn’t he? Pushing them away because he thought it best, because he was so sure they wouldn’t want him, when really, it was the opposite. He hovers somewhere between laughing and breaking down into tears once again, but ends up doing neither, relaxing into the warmth of Patton’s arms holding him, of Janus right by his side.

Perhaps he was wrong, before. Perhaps even now, he has never truly understood what love is. He has spent the last weeks and months defining it by heartbreak, but perhaps it was never about that at all.

So, perhaps love is this: acceptance, the rhythm of three hearts beating as one, and the words, we’re not leaving, said aloud and finally, finally, Roman thinks he can accept them.

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[varsovie]

there’s this interview in which gege gets asked how gojo reacted to the whole geto thing, i don’t remember the exact phrasing. but gege answered “he seems to have recovered” and for some reason my brain keeps thinking about that “he seems” part. because gojo is, in my interpretation, acting Like That to cope/distract himself. but for some reason most people can’t see that, so i’m glad you’re able to understand his character so well! i love your takes on him :)

Ahh the "he seems to have recovered" thing... the way i see it, Gojo has recovered in a sense that he accepted the situation and the current state of his friendship with Geto. I feel like Gojo has moved on in practical sense, but not necessarily in emotional sense. What I mean by that is that he maybe is capable of living a fulfilling life without Geto in it, but there is still a strong emotional attachment present (see: Shibuya).

I think that Geto is and always will be important to Gojo, and we can assume that he is the person Gojo considers to be the closest/most precious to him, but I also think that both of them prioritize their ideals over personal relationships. I also assume they know that about each other, which is what still allows them to see each other as friends despite their 'break-up' - bc it was less of a personal betrayal, and more of an ideological difference that tore them apart. IDK, I feel like all that happened didn't really lessen their feelings for each other, although it definitely changed their relationship.

As for acting Like That - I agree, I do think he plays up the cheerfulness and the goofiness, he's probably more serious and calculating than he shows; and I think that a big part of how he acts and how he thinks is strongly influenced by Geto and the unfolding of their relationship. I would love to hear more of your thoughts about him coping/distracting himself, actually, bc I do think it's probably what's happening, at least to some extent. And some people are thinking that he's acting like that bc he's just a dumb fuckboy...... ehhh yikes.

And again: I usually ignore what Gege says in interviews, bc 1) I do not care abt anything that he says that is not present in the text itself, b) since the story is still ongoing he definitely keeps the juiciest stuff to himself or he'd spoil his own story lol

[microsuedemouse]

man it has been a MINUTE since I made my own post about anything fandom-related on this website but @suzirya is blogging about The Old Guard and I haven’t seen anyone else talking about it really and I’ve got. some thoughts

I had literally never heard of this movie at all until a few nights ago when we were eating dinner in the living room and my dad pulled it up and said ‘hey I want to watch this’ and played the trailer for my brother and me. We were pretty much like yeah, sure, we all enjoy a good action flick, and aside from my other brother (who was occupied with D&D) it ended up being the whole family watching it. and I enjoyed it WAY more than I’d anticipated, especially for something I’d never heard about.

if you don’t know what I’m talking about: drop what you’re doing and go watch The Old Guard on Netflix. (it’s a Netflix original so yes it will be there.) it’s a very fun and good action film based on a series of graphic novels about a small group of immortals trying to do what’s right. there are many selling points but one of them is that it will be very good for your little gay soul, bc Charlize Theron stars (in a character with no explicitly-stated romances but lots of relationships that will make you Feel Things) and two of the other main characters are two men who met during the Crusades and are just amazingly in love with each other. And not in a vague way that the straights can interpret as Powerful Friendship. They are explicitly in love with each other and so devoted and ugh.

ANYWAY. putting the rest of my chattering under a cut bc spoilers and also I’m a wordy piece of shit

1 - early in this movie I was thinking about how glad I am that Charlize Theron has stepped into this role of like... cool female action star, but also, her characters are never super sexed up. almost any female characters I can think of in action movies, if they’re part of the action rather than victims/bystanders, are always made sexy. even when they’re Strong sexy, they’re still... a lot sometimes? I was thinking especially of some Angelina Jolie stuff, Scarlett Johanssen, etc. there are probably lots of exceptions to this that I just don’t know but still - we’ve had Theron in several roles like this recently, and appearance-wise she’s treated with the same respect as her male counterparts, which is so fucking cool and also such a fucking relief. we all love beautiful ladies, obviously, but it’s so SO good to see our female heroes just doing their jobs, without us ever being made aware of their sexuality.

and as the movie went on this was hitting me more and more, and I was also thinking it about... everyone? like. the other female lead, played by KiKi Layne, was arguably more feminine than Theron but not any more sexualised. even once she’s out of her army fatigues she’s dressed with practicality in mind, and again, we never have her female-ness pointed out to us. and I was so about every bit of that. both objectively and as a person whose relationship to female-ness and femininity is kind of weird, it’s such a good thing to see leading women whose gender and appearances and bodies aren’t being focussed on that way.

and as a sidebar to that, while I wouldn’t describe any of the prominent male characters as unattractive by any means, none of them were like... Marvel-actor hot. and I just, idk, especially in action/superhero movies, that’s refreshing to me. a lot of them looked like Regular Dudes in a way that I find very appealing.

2 - can we TALK about Joe and Nicky. holy shit. my brother and I kept leaning over to each other to be like ‘if anything happens to either of them I’ll riot.’ I MEAN.

we got a genuine, explicit, on-screen established romance between these men. it was not implied, it was not just how the actors played it in the hopes that people would catch on - it was right there. they hold each other to sleep, they kiss each other with such love, they talk to other characters about how much they adore each other. they met during the Crusades. they’ve been in love for centuries! and they’re so sweet, so devoted, so adoring! and they never have any arguments or tension to further the plot (one of my personal most-hated plot devices in any story with an established relationship). they just spend this movie loving each other, protecting each other and their weird little family, doing anything they can for each other. they’re taken prisoner and spend their time awake joking and making each other smile. and the one singular bit of casual homophobia they encounter on-screen is met with a declaration of love so heartfelt and intense that the guy who made the shitty comment literally doesn’t know what to say - which is a brief but extremely good scene in the movie, imo.

oh, also worth noting: this romance is biracial and interfaith (inasmuch as either of them may be men of faith after being alive for centuries). just to add to how good this is to see on-screen. all of this on top of them being IMMORTAL AND UNKILLABLE. NO GAYS BURIED HERE

2.5 - can I talk for a second about how goddamn much I love seeing non-hetero romance in genre fiction!!! I know it’s getting easier to find, but still. genre fiction is very much my domain and I love seeing queer romance there, especially when it’s simply an accepted fact and the characters’ queerness isn’t central to the story. narratives about queerness are good and important and serve a function but most of them aren’t really my thing, personally. a story that’s about all kinds of other things but also has queer characters there, being themselves, being in love, is so 1000% my shit.

3 - also? Charlize Theron’s character, Andy?? fascinating from a queer perspective. she doesn’t have any explicitly-stated romance with anyone, but her relationships with other characters are so compelling and so interesting. The backstory about her and another immortal, Quynh, very very distinctly gives you the impression that they were women in love. everything about Andy’s guilt and bitterness over not having been able to find/save Quynh feels so much like there was a romance there. it could have been platonic or familial - they were together, without anyone else, for centuries at least, and therefore obviously developed a very deep love - but the way Andy talks about Quynh it feels so much like there was something left unsaid, or unresolved.

also, her scene with the clerk in the pharmacy. oh my god. this woman clearly recognises that whatever is going on with Andy, something is wrong, and she offers her help, no questions asked. she takes her into the back room and patches up her wound. this scene has such an inherent intimacy because of the close quarters and the privacy and the act taking place, but... there’s also this really interesting connection happening between them, where they recognise something in one another but don’t state it. (personally, I couldn’t help wondering if the clerk was a domestic abuse survivor, maybe? but there are so many ways you could interpret her character from her behaviour and dialogue in that scene, and I’d love to see other people’s takes.)

and then on the other hand you have her relationship with Booker, who’s been with her the longest out of any of the living immortals. they’re incredible. their relationship is so, so interesting and well-depicted! they have such chemistry, that you can easily read as romantic or platonic. they’ve been together for so many hundreds of years and they work together, trust each other, with such a deep understanding and love and respect. and it never quite tips over into the romance you kind of think it will, which imo only makes it that much more compelling - there are so many directions you could take that dynamic.

4 - and then on the topic of Booker: I am SO into the way his betrayal was handled.

he did, undeniably, betray the others. there’s no argument on that fact. his motivations were understandable (and heartbreaking), even to Andy, though certainly not an excuse. so yes, they were furious with him. reasonably so! but... that didn’t actually break their relationships with him. they didn’t leave him behind in the lab, even if in some ways they might have wanted to. and in the ensuing battle, they were still able to work together and trust each other as they always have. the damage done to their larger relationship was put aside to be dealt with after all of this, as it should be. and even when they did deal with it, what they agreed on was just a century of exile from their group. given the lives they’re all living, that seems like such a mild sentence.

but to me, it makes so much sense. again, these people have lived for centuries, and there are so few of them. they need each other. the bonds they’ve formed over all this time together - the trust, the love, the sense of family - would not only be vital to both their survival and their sanity, but also incredibly difficult to truly break. what he did would seem unforgivable from an outside perspective, and even after that century passed I’m certain he’d have to earn back their trust and respect, but it makes absolute sense that they’d be willing to take him back one day.

god. GOD. I’m sure there’s more I could talk about but this is what I can think of right now and I’ve been typing for like forty minutes probably so I’m done for now but.

god.

this movie and its characters GOT ME, guys. I’m really in it. ugh UGH

[shadowtongued]

“channy will you ever stop symbolically comparing sliske to judas, the first serpent, and lucifer?’ the answer will not shock you. no.

bc his undertones in my writing/interpretation deal a LOT with how lucifer wanted free thought, individualism, and self pride before god found this an offense and cast him out. zaros deals a lot with loyalty in an almost dictatorlike way, even having a loyalty aura that compels those around him. sliske was always the black sheep who acted differently in the empire. sliske was actually the one who brought the mahjarrat to zaros,  “Lord Jesus said of him, “He was a murderer from the beginning”. From the instant of his creation he started sinning. It is true though that he did not become completely evil all at once. He started with small sins and turned them into big sins and finally into disobedience towards God.” hmm that’s really familiar, innit?

judas simply bc the og zarosian mahjs kinda are like apostles to zaros and sliske was the one who was chummy and then turned (yes i know zammy did that too but sliske p much tried to tempt the wg to sabotage him with their own opinions) but continued to keep working on his promises with zaros despite being excommunicated (judas’ guilt in trying to return the silver pieces). plus sliske’s whole schtick is betrayal.

and the great dragon, that ancient serpent, is prob my FAVE motif for sliske bc of how much of his actions revolve around temptation and whispering things to others to see what paths they will take. just like the serpent in the garden of eden, he didn’t outright tell eve to taste the fruit, but suggested it. sliske didn’t tell you to outright sabotage zaros, but he suggested that if you didn’t like the god’s ideals you had the free will and choice to follow your gut. the serpent is also a sign of forbidden knowledge, wisdom, and awareness and i don’t think many in RS other than maybe guthix and some other gods KNEW as much as sliske did when it came to soul magic, shadow magic, elder relics, and LITERALLY TALKING to elder god jas, many times. something almost none had done. he didn’t know everything, but the man knew some profound and esoteric shit, let me tell you.

i’ve never taken a theology class and i’m not terribly religious, but  you can pry religious symbolism out of my hands. anyway, the cold meds are hitting hard, you see.

[arcade-emporia]

bubie :)

hi sunny :))

I get to talk about Bubby!!! Hell yeah

Why I like him: dude’s cool and fun and goofy!! I didn’t think I’d like him when I first started watching HLVRAI bc I hadn’t really looked too deep into his character but over time he just grew on me ,, I think it was mostly the way he delivers his lines it’s so fucking funny and I found myself rewinding constantly to catch jokes I missed

Why I don’t: sometimes he can detract from the vibe of certain scenes sometimes but honestly that’s half the fun of his character tbh,, he sees Gordon having a dramatic beat and just waltzes right up to him and complains about wasting time and wanting to go home. Iconic.

Favorite scene: THE BETRAYAL!!! It’s super tense but the “i didn’t tell them to do that” is so genuine that I laugh every time. He’s just like,,, “oh. alright. kinda fucked up, but what can ya do.”

Favorite season: he has so many good moments in act 1

Favorite line: “yeah, ya fucked up, Gordon, what the hell?” (THE DELIVERY KILLS ME)

Favorite outfit: the man has One (1) outfit in canon but whenever someone draws him wearing either weird ass mismatched clothes or his Old Man Sweater it makes me smile :)

OTP: I don’t engage much w shipping but i love cheering on other people’s ships!!! absolute kings out here writing a happy ending for this grumpy old man and I am Here For It

BrOTP: Him and literally any science team member is EXCELLENT but Coomer’s the obvious pick (also boomer is. the best possible name for them it’s so funny and so fitting)

Head canon: I’m really proud of that one bit I wrote about his room in the RV AU and some of the ideas from that have wormed their way into my canon interpretation too shgshdhd,,,, anyway I feel like under everything Bubby’s greatest aspiration is to be a regular human being. He grew up in a lab surrounded by faces and prying eyes and voices that spoke about him as if he couldn’t hear. He has a lot of weird abilities due to the Tube(tm) but he hides them because he resents what they represent. They’re a monument to everything different about him, living proof that he’s not like normal people way deep down. That’s why he doesn’t use his pyrokinesis openly (I like to think he only does it when there are other explanations), and why he gravitates towards Coomer so quickly. Coomer is odd and eccentric and very clearly inhuman in some respect and yet no one in the group ever thought to second-guess his humanity. Coomer isn’t ashamed of himself, and as they grow closer he helps him overcome the shame associated with his stranger traits and maybe learn to feel proud of them at times. Bubby always wanted to be normal, but it wasn’t until he met the Science Team that he realized that “normal” was a thing you established for yourself, something that changed and grew as you did. He’s already normal to them. They’re all normal to him. And that can be enough.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like when people give him a flat “I’m going to be a bitter asshole and not listen to reason to create drama” plots in fic :( like sure he is very good at causing problems but there can be so much more to it ,,, give his antics TEETH make em representative of a deeper character

A wish: I hope they focus more on his character and backstory in future installments!! I wonder what he’ll act like now that the science team knows he’s from a tube and also met the prototypes

PLEASE don’t happen: pls don’t make him betray the team again let him have his stupid crime family

5 words to describe them: Fire-slinging, sharp-tonged scientist!

Nickname: bubs:) also in my brain his name has a happy face after it always and it’s 100% because of Sunny

[szivtalan]

A, I, J, L, M, P, R, S, T, V, X, Y for the Honesty Hour ask!!! :D

A - If I’m in love

I suuuuck at reading my own emotions,  especially when it comes to feelings of romantic attraction. But yeah I  guess there’s someone I could imagine a future with.

I - The last time I felt jealous and why

I’m  not terribly jealous tbf. But I did feel some weird stuff when the   person mentioned above said something about their current partner. It   did...not sit well with me, which is why I think I might have some   feelings for them after all.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

I’m  insecure about how I present, my looks, the way I come off on the   internet, my writing, basically every aspect of my life, I’ve been   insecure about at one point. I’m learning to gradually get over them.

L - If I have siblings.

I  have a brother (4 yrs older) and a stepbrother that I haven’t seen in years. He was already a married man with a family when I was around 13.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I’m  a “forgive but don’t forget” kind of person. At one point I found that  it’s petty to hold a grudge when someone genuinely wants to make up, but  there’s a good chance that I won’t let them as close and will always be  distrustful to them in the future.

P - What kind of music I like.

My  musical taste is all over the place tho. I usually describe it as   “something that moves me” since I’m into catchy rhythms/beats and   soulful lyrics but it can be just as much of Billy Raffoul than say,   Watsky or The Bloodhound Gang.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

I had no idea what this actually meant but my last interpretation is something akin to a few fun facts so here’s ten fun facts about me (I tried to pick things I haven’t yet told you haha):

I’m a child of divorce.

I’ve been exposed to/learning English since I was 6 years old.

I used to be more interested in drawing than writing.

I think of myself as someone who’s relatively unfit, but for an unfit person I did quite a lot of sports growing up. I did martial arts (aikido briefly, and taekwon-do for a year or so), volleyball and handball, each for a year; gymnastics as a kid, soccer as a hobby, basketball, folk dance and running.

I’m not at all a picky eater, but I don’t eat fruits or most veggies. This broke some people’s brain who wanted to eat out with me.

My humor is surprisingly grim and/or filthy.

Up until the age of like sixteen I always had one or two dogs around the house. The last two were both rottweilers.

I’m the rudest polite person I know. Like I have a temper and I swear all the time at people, but I will say “please”, “thank you” and “good morning” and I even get overly apologetic while inconveniencing people (kinda like Sakurai from Touou, I’m not joking when I say I see myself in his behavior).

The furthest I ever got from Hungary is some of the few bordering countries (Slovakia, Croatia, Romania and Austria).

I pretty much discovered I was bisexual at age 10-12 and then went “oh well, it’s a problem for future me to deal with!” and practically forgot about it until I was old enough to really start liking people.

S - 2 habits.

1) I pick at my hangnails and my skin a lot

2) I observe people when they think no one is looking and smile at their endeavors.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

My friend, Dee

Music

Being around natural bodies of water, apparently

Dogs (and cats, altho I keep my distance whenever its needed)

Bear with me for a moment: I love love. I think people are destined for it, and I don't just mean romantic love. You need love to survive and to have a purpose. I love loving my friends, as much as I love portrayals and expressions of romantic love. I love the seconds that I get to love a stranger bc they do something endearing that I can't help momentarily falling for and I also love the kind of love that's more like a habit, like loving your parents or best friends and not even really noticing it, because it just comes so naturally.

V - 3 big dreams

I did this already but if we’re talking “I don’t think this will happen anyway” kinda big dreams, I’d like to perform as a singer, I want to be able to get into acting again, and I’d like move out of my country. Which is probably the most plausible one.

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

I do regret a few things in my life, but ultimately I feel like I wouldn't be where I am now without making the mistakes I've made, so let's just say that I should've applied for psychology much, much earlier.

Y - If I like my town and why.

It sucks less and less every year tbh. It's very pretty with some amazing views at high vantage points, and people are relatively nicer than they used to be, but I still remember the drunkards who used to stumble on the sidewalk right outside my window and I just can't really seem to fully assimilate into the community. I guess it's been changing for the better in the 16 years I've been living here, but I rather go anywhere else if I can.

[starryseo]

youtuber!changbin

omg i’m excited for this one bc it’s the loml

s e o  c h a n g b i n

enjoy :)

Chan | Woojin | Minho | CHANGBIN | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

introducing the one and only. . .

Changbin “I love dark” Seo!!!!

so, as you (probably) already know

he has done lots of collabs with chan and jisung under 3racha

that’s how he met the rest tbh; chan messaged him and jisung both for a 3-person collab and then he stuck with them bc they made some bombass tracks

and he also manages the joint StrayKids youtube account where their gameplays are posted

he has too much time on his hands

which is also why he posts a lot of diss tracks about the other guys

it’s all in good nature, no harm done

and his insults are the bEST

he’s actually a lyrical genius

and no one can hate him or what he says in his raps because

1) what he said is probably true

2) if you hate on it, he’ll come out with a second diss track that’s much worse

his tracks are usually about how chan is like the dad of the group

but everyone just uses him for his money (not in a mean way!!!!!)

or about how felix is desperate for changbin’s love but it’s unrequited (he’s still salty about the forced kiss ok, give him time pls)

he hasn’t made a diss track about jeongin though because the boy is too precious okay no one can say anything bad about him except jyp but hes a snake so screw him

you may be asking what changbin could’ve said about seugmin bc he’s also heckin’ precious but i’m afraid you’re gonna have to wait for seungmin’s one to find out ;)

jisung once hacked into changbin’s youtube account

hacked meaning he guessed changbin’s password (hint: it was ilovegyu<3)

and changed the profile picture to a screenshot he got from a video hyunjin took of changbin being dared to act cute

the video was vv cringey so jisung figured this was the perfect revenge for that diss track changbin made of him

and he also thought changbin needed a change from the pitch black profile pic he had up before

yeah, he loves dark thaaaaat much

as well as producing music and gaming

changbin also dabbles in skateboarding and a biiit of parkour

he does this with felix

(when he has a quick method of escaping felix’s wrath, he can tolerate time together)

his skateboard is. . .

you guessed it: black

probably has a skull or some other ‘scary’ design on the front too

but felix managed to notice a small sticker of a munchlax (the pokemon gyu is fyi) on the back too :) cutie :) 

changbin really loves skateboarding because he thinks it looks cool and goes well with his dark concept

but then he always ends up bumping into something because sometimes he pulls his cap too far down and so he can’t see very well

idiot

it’s really funny seeing him try to act nonchalant about tripping up

when everyone around saw

and felix videoed it and is laughing his ass off

changbin threatened to murder felix if he posted that video anywhere

and felix was like “;) good thing i haven’t posted it... i did send it to the SK group chat though”

bro felix was literally running away for his life and changbin was right behind him on his skateboard tryna run him over

that was not a good day to be felix tbfh

the parkour he does is usually quite simple (about as simple as parkour w/ a skateboard can get)

but he looks badass whilst doing it so it’s cool

his favourite move is when he rides perpendicular to a rail and so the board goes under the rail and he jumps over the rail

it took a while to perfect the landing but he was really determined and now he’s mastered it i’m so proud of him

whenever he posts these videos he gets a lot of comments

because with his music & gaming videos his face usually isn’t seen

but with this, it is

so there are a lot of comments about him being b e a u t i f u l

the comment with the most likes was from jisung who was like “mr dark?? more like sunshine boy! :) keep up the great work i <3 your vids!!”

he was close to reporting that comment just so it would go away lmao salty

but instead he ranted to gyu like “sunshine boy? i’m not a sunshine boy, i’m a dark, dark man, right gyu?”

the group have a lot of hang-outs at his house (bc dude look at his house wtfffff it’s so shiny)

and his mum is the cutest!!! always giving them food as soon as they enter

she also LIVES to embarrass her child, poor changbin :(

constantly pulling his cheeks, giving him lil’ kisses and always calling him her “little prince” or some other equally cheesy variant

the guys lowkey thinks it’s cute and know she’s only doing this for fun, but they still use it as an opportunity to laugh at him

one time she whipped out the photo album with baby changbin pics and omg they’ve never seen changbin redder in the face than that day

no one knows if he was fuming or just really embarrassed lmao

what hurt the most was how jeongin - the baby of the group - was laughing and calling him a “cute baby”

and obviously hyunjin had to go “wow dude you were so cute, what happened to you??”

his mum, bless her soul, was like “he takes after his father that’s why”

#SavageSeoMama (this is where he gets inspiration for his diss tracks)

oKAY BACK TO GAMING!!!!

he mainly plays shooting games like battlefield, CoD and csgo with the guys

loves it when they play with just them in a local match, not online (mainly talking about CoD here)

because then he can put on friendly fire so that he can kill his team mates lmao

he’s a major kill scene stealer and proud - truly evil

the guys eventually kick him out of the lobby

only bringing him back once he’s apologised to them

to this day, he hasn’t apologised lmfao

when they kick him out he’ll just start playing online

because changbinnie don’t care 

he loves killing people’s hype

for instance, jisung will be cheering over the mic like “yay!! i got the last kill”

and changbin will just reply like “ok and?”

jisung: “wHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME?!?!?!? I <\3 YOU”

the real question is: how did jisung say “<\3″?

he kills his own hype too though

like when he gets the final kill and suavely goes “wow much skill”

and felix is like “yeah!! wow!!! that was so cool changbinnie!!!”

he’s just like “yeah it wasn’t that good, stop that”

sometimes when they’re all playing free-for-all

he’ll start singing his threats

like he’ll be two steps behind seungmin and just start lowly singing “seungmin, i’ve got your back~”

and like normally someone might interpret that to mean “dw bro i got your back, i’m protecting you, you’re covered”

but nah

changbin straight up stabbed seungmin in the back

seungmin felt that betrayal in his heart

so on the one hand he’s singing to people before he kills them which is heckin’ creepy

but on the other hand he has a beautiful voice so it’s not that bad???

but on the other, other hand (idk imagine 3 hands or smth) he’s technically being nice by giving them a heads-up before he kills them so

really

they should appreciate his kindness

:)

ok no i can’t defend him he’s too into these killing games

the only person he likes teaming up with is hyunjin and here’s why:

chan talks about strategy too much (dude all you gotta do is kill ok relax a bit)

woojin, as previously discussed, makes really bad rookie mistakes

minho gets too frantic when ambushed and just ends up dying without fighting back

jisung is too talkative

felix is also too talkative and is too risky (he’s literally jumped in front of changbin’s character dramatically like “I’ll save you!”. jeongin ended up killing the both of them together lmfao #DoubleKill)

seungmin just runs around in the middle of the battlefield with NO strategy

and jeongin is jeongin. he’s too precious for changbin’s lethality

so that leaves hyunjin. he’s the right amount of talk-y (yes that’s now a word), he has gr8 gameplays, he can handle a multiple-person attack AND he can be really frickin’ ruthless at times

gotta love that boi

felix is always fueled to kill hyunjin for stealing his man

but honestly changbin would rather just solo it because “i work alone, buddy” [sOMEONE GET MY REFERENCE PLS]

wow this has gotten rlly long soz

imma just end it here:

although changbin loves killing them in games and mocking them through his diss tracks

the guys know that they can trust him 100% and that he really, truly does have their backs (even seungmin’s)

and he’s always prepared to fight anyone that hates on any of the guys because only he can do that okay they’re his family and no one else can do that to them

he feels blessed to have them and whenever they come around to his house he’ll get lowkey sentimental bc wow, this is his family that bring a smile to his face everyday

and although he probably won’t admit it without jisung forcing him to, he really loves these guys and is glad to have met them

thank you for reading this far lmao hope you enjoyed it & feedback is always welcome!!

i saw some tag where someone talked about waiting for hyunjin’s one, and bc i’m doing this in age order he’s coming soon

and now just to playfully annoy them i wanna change the order

just kidding

ok not kidding i wanna change the order but i’m too lazy to since i’ve already planned it out

also!! is the desktop theme okay for everyone?? pls let me know of any improvements! :) thank youuuuuuuuuuu

[asravine]

Vld s6 comments

It's like 4am here in Singapore and I just finished s6 like 30mins ago so forgive me if im cranky

I have an Issue with Lance and Allura's alluded-to romance?? They were good in s5!! Lance was starting to actually put aside his crush and regard Allura and a friend and Allura was treating him like such! Im glad there were some aspects of that relationship in s6 but Lance's?? Romantic feelings coming back full force?? Bad move.

I think I was slightly miffed abt ^^ too bc I had the impression that Jeremy did say in an interview that Lance was starting to move past his crush and that moving back to that would be demeaning and degrading his character so I was annoyed that s6 just played right into it again tbh

SOME character development for Lance (I am a huge Lance Stan I am Sorry if I unconsciously focus less on the others) Lance taking that hit for Allura like how he took that hit for Coran in s1? Asking if Lotor would start by freeing planets? Going up to Allura and asking if she's ok after the betrayal? Being upset at being unable to interpret Shiro (the Real Shiro™) reaching out to him (also him being the second person besides Keith who has that deep a bond with Shiro IN THE FIRST PLACE?) All classic examples in showing how, at Lance's core, (and despite him taking so much of a backseat and being reduced to the comic side) he really is a people oriented person and cares so very much for his friends and family

Speaking of loTOR THAT BITCH. Id have to admit I was quite drawn into his bullshit? I had a slight nagging feeling when he first appeared in s4 but it died by the time we hit s5 so having him betray Voltron was A Move I Didnt Anticipate

In a sad way up until the point where they entered the quintessence field I could relate to his reasoning of saving Altea and sacrificing a few but then he went bat-shit crazy abt him being the hero and ruler of Altea and I Noped the hell out of there

Keith backstory was Interesting to say the least. I'm glad they finally clarified what happened with Krolia and Keith's dad!! Quite sad however how both parents left Keith unwillingly and thought him safe when he actually Was Not

Younger Shiro and Keith!! Keith fighting at the Garrison??? Shiro halfway adopting him as a brother????? Goddamnng good

Something that people have pointed out abt the fact that Keith has spent 2 yrs away and then after coming back immediately brushes off Lance like that?? Is really weird given how they're a team and a family and Keith hasn't seen any of them in TWO YEARS and he still does that doesn't sit right

Visuals, as always were absolutely stunning. Loved ep 5 esp and I think it'll turn out to be one of my favourite episodes in the entire VLD franchise. The fluidity of the fight sequence, pan shots, the movement of Keith and Shiro and how it was portrayed, the voiCE ACTING. Loved the close up on Keith's eyes especially??? It was So Good

I would say overall it like all the seasons it would seem it has its good and bad points? I felt it was one of the better seasons but personally I was Very Let Down by Clickbait in terms of Lance's character dev

I might find more to talk abt tmr but as for now im gonna sleep. Will probs start posting some art here on this acc??? We'll see

[sometimesrosy]

Love can be scary but it shouldn't be in Bellamy&Clarke case when they could die any day at any time. What can be worse than losing your beloved one? I blame the writers for developing a "1 step forward 2 steps backwards" kind of relationship since they're using every trick to stretch out a love story that should already be happening and where CL should have never occured since, by loving L, Clarke betrayed Bellamy, her people and herself. The Clarke Griffin I learnt to love... 1/2

2/2 … would have never acted like this. Yes, I’m still mad at the writers and despite your confidence in BC becoming romantic this season, I still don’t trust them. They have messed up this story too much to earn my confidence.

Aww man, I’m going to have to take issue with multiple points you make.

First of all, falling in love with someone is always scary. You might feel the rush more than the fear, but it’s called “falling” for a reason. And it doesn’t have to be in the apocalypse. Normal love is just as scary.

And then, the fact that they can die any time does in fact make it more rather than less scary. Like you say, what could be worse than losing your beloved? Nothing! That’s why they would hold back from admitting or exploring it, because it’s terrifying and they both already have experience with losing the people they’ve been with… almost like they are cursed and whoever they are with dies. Nothing scary about that. 

You “blame” the writers for their one step forward two step back thing, but that’s a pretty standard romantic storyline. They didn’t develop it. It’s part of the conventions of the genre of a romance (which begs us to question their claims of it not being romantic.) A romance story without romantic obstacles is what we call “boring.”

You are also acting as if stretching out the love story is a problem, but there’s lots of us here who are enjoying the slow burn. Finding it more realistic and deeper than the quick relationships with less development. I might be impatient for kisses, but if they want to pull a Pride and Prejudice in the apocalypse, I’m not going to complain, because that’s one of the best love stories of all time. Plus, my desire to see them get together is put up in direct opposition to my desire to see them develop slowly and fight through the obstacles to get to each other, so it builds my own tension and investment in the story. 

Also I dispute your claim that CL should never have happened. Why not? It was an important story line, for political reasons, for literary reasons, for symbolic reasons, for character development reasons, and for romantic tension reasons. Just because you didn’t like it doesn’t mean it didn’t belong. It just means you didn’t like it. I didn’t like it either, but I can see the story being told and it’s part of Clarke’s story. And important. 

And Clarke didn’t betray Bellamy by loving L. Bellamy rejected her. They had no romantic relationship. She didn’t owe him her faithfulness. They were not together. She betrayed him by leaving and by choosing L as her political ally over Bellamy. That’s the betrayal. She didn’t come home and she aligned herself with L’s suspect motives. Not falling in love. 

And if you learned to love a Clarke Griffin who doesn’t come to understand, care for and love her enemies, you didn’t learn to love THIS Clarke Griffin, because the exact same thing happened in season 1 when Clarke allied with her enemy Bellamy Blake, came to trust and care for him and developed strong feeling for HIM. So where’s this Clarke Griffin you love so much who didn’t cross political lines to fraternize with enemy? Because she wasn’t on The 100. Ask Finn how he felt when she switched over to Bellamy’s side. I might actually add that she was trying to replicate her relationship with Bellamy with L, because that paid off so well, she thought that trusting L would turn out like trusting Bellamy did. It didn’t.

Messed up this story. No. They may have made some mistakes, but frankly, their biggest mistakes in season 3 were not with story. The story all fits together and develops very well. It’s crafted and all makes sense on multiple levels. And if you pay attention to the story as it’s shown onscreen, you can see all the things that people say weren’t shown, like WHY Bellamy did what he did (it was absolutely shown) and Clarke’s struggle in Polis, and what was going to happen with L. They spent too much time with some stories and it messed up the pacing and had us wallowing in a darkness that seemed like it had no end. But the light was STILL planned, and they still pulled it out. 

I’m sorry. I just disagree with everything you’ve just said. 

And the reason why I have confidence in Bellarke is because I’m looking at it in regards to the WHOLE story, s1.ep01 all the way up to this interminable hiatus. 

You’re looking at the Bellarke romance and expecting something from the story that is NOT this story. You keep saying it “should” be happening the way you want it to happen, and I don’t get this.  If you want a romcom or even a dramatic romance, you  must be VERY frustrated with this show, because it is neither of those things. It is what it is, and the more you accept it for that, the easier it is to see how the Bellarke romance is tightly intertwined with the non romantic storyline and leading to eventual canon Bellarke. 

Including all the the things that keep them from being romantic. If you follow the story, without your ship goggles, you can see that it is following a very clear, although stretched out, path to romantic Bellarke. Call it the scenic route. All the stories that happen along the way contribute to Bellarke development. If you take out all the things you say shouldn’t be there, Bellarke would not be as deep or rich or realistic.  So, here I am disagreeing with you again. 

Besides, if you want to ship Bellarke, you don’t need it to become canon. You can ship it anyway. I see it in the text. I ship it because I see it as an essential part of the story. You don’t agree with my interpretation, it doesn’t bother me. You don’t trust the writers or like the story? I don’t know why you’re still watching. You can always stop watching and then catch up after you find out that it does become canon, instead of putting yourself through the horror and anguish of “will they/won’t they”.

My confidence in the story doesn’t have anything to do with your own lack of confidence. But I wouldn’t be watching it if I didn’t like the story they were telling. That’s what it comes down to. I LIKE this show, and I LIKE Bellarke. I like the story THEY are telling and I’m not trying to make it into the story I want to hear, I’m trying to understand the story THEY are telling. They don’t owe me the story I think I deserve. 

[dankpaladin]

Heyo! PIDGE: You're right! I never gave too much thought about it bc the show never emphasized it so why blow things out of proportion? I loved ur opinion tho! U sure ur not a movie critique in disguise ;)) SHIRO: He better be alive! I LOVE FLASHBACKS! Voltron history is this unexplored releam of awesome story development!!!! ~Z

P2 HUNK &LANCE: Whoa,I never looked at that way! Tbh I am the type of person who doesn’t over-think these things. I have faced stereotypes all my life that I blatantly rejected them all and I build my own image using personalities. (I am also oblivious. Really oblivious :P) But now that you mention it maybe they should’ve had Hunk and Lance pitch in ideas and Pidge just fine-tuning them. Thanks 4 the insight! ~Z

P3: Y'know the part where Shiro yells “Allura!” I didn’t hear say Coran so I yelled Coran and my siblings were like Blade of Marmora! It’s so funnyXD But I agree with what u said! Has anyone considered that Coran is just as hurt w/Alford dying? He keeps it away to help everyone, that’s not JUST comic relief people! And omg i relate to ur sister, I lurk as well XD ~Z

P4 ( the last one!): We should start our own Voltron fandom tbh. Where everyone whose nice and open-minded may enter! Anyways. I am curious to hear more from you! I enjoy our discussions very much!! OMG LET’S BE FRIENDS! What can I call u bc I realized I don’t know what to call u? ~Z

Sorry for the late response!

Yes imo I didn’t think gender was that central to Pidge’s character though Im sure others will disagree. and thats fine, people relate to & understand characters differently. What I like about her is how freely she goes about doing her own thing without thinking much about her gender… like that its okay and normal to not have your gender fully figured out. And like this is one way of looking at it, and def not a conclusive interpretation so antis put your pitchforks down lol..

I’m sure Shiro is alive… I dont think Dreamworks would go that dark 😣  if that astral plane theory is real I hope it’s like… he’s just safe asleep in a dream state.. Boy needs to catch a break after all the shit he’s been through, he really needs a moment of peace lol. though that would definitely provide perfect opportunity for flashbacks—both the Black Lion’s memories (History of Voltron, Betrayal of Zarkon, Rise of the Galran Empire!) and Shiro’s memories (maybe how he met Keith? They’re undeniably good friends and it’d be nice to know their background… also, maybe he’ll be able finally remember and confront the things he’s forgotten during this time as Champion… that’s gonna be hard for him :-( there’s so many possibilities tbh!

It’s good you’re not the type to act on common prejudices! i don’t wanna go in too deep but yeah, its unfortunate that S2 had to perpetuate some Bad Tropes but I trust that the staff will be better in treating the characters of color better.

Haha, was this during the episode when they were trying to take down Zarkon’s ship? Mmm yeah, I really hope they explore Allura & Coran more in the future seasons and give their past that respect. Like I think Coran will always be a source for comic relief, I don’t think thats gonna change any time soon, but that doesn’t mean the staff won’t flesh him out more.  Like I want them to explore the impact of how they feel being the only Alteans left, how extremely heavy that grief can weigh on someone but at the same time how empty it feels having nothing left.… I think they will though, since they are the same people that did ATLA, and there was Aang who was also a survivor of genocide and they handled that heavy subject matter well. That Haggar reveal really changes things though and for Allura & Coran’s sake, I hope that the Altean culture isn’t completely lost. I haven’t seen any of the old series so idk where this is going, but! I don’t mind whatever path they go, so as long as they flesh it out well and treat the character’s and their traumas with due respect.

I don’t think we can stop nasty people from entering fandoms 😭  I think its just.. part of the fandom experience. In any fandom. To have that group of nasty fans.. though in this one its more pronounced lol. Again, sorry for the late reply & I hope this sates your curiosity to hear more lol!! I love hearing from you too, you like ask all the right questions/say the right things to make me think even more about things lol. you can call me claire!! and sure we can be friends!!! 🐝