#Bayonetta 3 spoilers

[maridoodles]

passing out my special niche themed valentines to the class

DO O IA BAYONETTA 🫀💜

[lunxribuh]

bayo 3’s end dance is so goofy. Like wtf are you doing start voguing out already

also everyone is dead

[fireyfobbitmedicine]

Me finally getting around to watching Bayonetta 3 and seeing Platinum Games pair her and Luka together

[somechubbynerd]

pov you're texting your writer girlfriend and she's rambling about her research for character alterations.

[beetrootbug]

*sighs* What happened to Luka, Bayonetta and Jeanne is the equivalent of what happened to Allure, Lance and Keith, change my mind, fight me even.

[dumblemonchickenwing]

[shayminlucario07]

Post-clearing Bayonetta 3 thoughts

Obligatory (And obvious) spoiler warning!

So... people really didn’t like this game? Like, actually? Why?

Is it because of “Straight Bayonetta”? If so, I have news for you: Bayonetta’s relationship with Jeanne has always been deliberately ambiguous, just as much so as her relationship with Luka was in the previous two games, so like. Read it however you want- if you want Cereza and Jeanne to be a thing, they can be! Bisexuals do in fact exist!

Is it because people didn’t like Viola? Because... I mean, fair, I guess, since the narrative didn’t exactly do her justice, but she’s also the Cerezita/Loki of this game, which means she was never going to be as fleshed out as the other characters. And, frankly, if there’s going to be a Bayonetta 4, she’ll pretty obviously be the main character- which I’m totally here for, to be clear- and that’ll actually give her the chance to DO something.

Is it because of the Homunculi/Singularity plot being underdeveloped? Because... that’s kind of the case with every Bayonetta antagonist. The only reason Balder works as well as he does is because of the retroactive adjustments in Bayonetta 2, since he was... not exactly three-dimensional in Bayonetta 1. And the only reason Aesir worked is because of Loki, you know. BEING half of Aesir.

Is it because of how little focus the alternate Bayonettas got? Because... yeah, I agree, they deserved more emphasis than they had, but the thing you have to remember is- regardless of what the narrative in Bayonetta 3 implies, there’s no way to be sure that ANYONE is actually gone- Bayonetta 2′s storyline was literally about Cereza trying to bring Jeanne back from the dead, so like. As far as I’m concerned, resurrection has already been established. Also, when your story goes to multiverse level storytelling, all rules are out the window- not that there ever were any, since it’s Bayonetta, and rule of cool dominates everything, spectacle above all is the entire concept of the series.

Ultimately, my thoughts are thus:

It sucks that we have more limited weapon kits, but the weapons we did get are awesome in their own right and frankly, the acquisition of them is much more narratively effective than every other Bayonetta weapon except the guns and maybe Alruna, since. They actually HAVE A ROLE in the narrative. Also, the concepts were pretty great overall- though I could’ve done without having like, four separate slow weapons, but hey, we got Ignis Araneae Yo-Yo and Simoon and there’s a weapon named Ribbit-Libido BZ55, so, who actually gives a shit.

Some of the demon designs were... weird (Looking at you, Gouon and Clock Tower) but the returning demons were a delight to see reimagined (BAAL ZEBUL MY BELOVED YOU ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE ENTIRE GAME) and while I’m kind of mad we didn’t get to see Sheba or Omne again, I also didn’t really expect it in the first place. At least we didn’t get a repeat of Khepri using Butterfly’s body model.

Demon Slave was a fantastic concept- in my opinion, a total step up from Umbran Climax, even if it did mean having to give up meaningful torture attacks- and I especially loved Wink Slave, because like. It’s like a Wicked Weave but EVEN BIGGER and AFTER A WICKED WEAVE. They took the best part of Umbran Climax and made it a normal gameplay move! Fantastic!

Viola’s combat was... weird. Not being able to move and shoot took an adjustment, and I don’t think I’ll ever know how to use the block properly for Witch Time, but it was at least successful in making her feel distinct from Bayonetta, which they never quite nailed with Jeanne and Rosa. She definitely could’ve used more polish in the gameplay department, though.

Speaking of Viola... she suffered from Luca syndrome (Admittedly, rather fitting) in that she was played for comic relief a bit too much to work as well as she needed to. I love the idea of her inheriting the name Bayonetta, but... she doesn’t quite feel like she’s actually THERE yet. She doesn’t have the badass level yet. Also, Cheshire should’ve had actual story in 3, and not just had it be locked behind Cereza and the Lost Demon.

Jeanne was neglected in a frankly depressing manner. Her missions were... fun at first, but overstayed their welcome, and honestly, the most memorable Jeanne moment was Jeanne Beta-Three/Egyptian Jeanne. She deserved better and she CERTAINLY deserved to live- she should’ve been alive to be Viola’s mentor in whatever the next story is.

Ah, Cereza... While I’m sad to see her die, frankly, they could bring her back in the next game and I wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest. It’s Bayonetta, who cares, there are no rules- just look cool and it’ll do everything it needs to. Make Bayonetta 4 be about Viola going to Inferno to bring Cereza and Luka back to the human world, and have her beat the shit out of Queen Sheba to do it. Full circle to the fullest, this time instead of killing God at the end of the game, we’re killing Satan. I’m 1000% in. Also, there’s no way that she’s supposed to be the alternate universe Cereza from the Records of Time in Bayonetta 2- They literally reference the Aesir storyline directly and how the Eyes of the World no longer exist, which is why the Multiverse fracturing happens and why the entirety of Bayonetta 3 happens at all.

Luka was... kind of weird, but not in the way people seem to think based on everything I’ve seen. First and foremost, the idea that the Bayonetta-Luka relationship came out of nowhere is simply untrue- she was always flirting with him. She put Rosemary in her perfume at the end of the first game SPECIFICALLY because of what he said- that’s what that meant! People were just blinded by the concept of Witch Lesbians, which is fair! (Let Bayonetta have both, y’all. Let her have her cringefail ambiguously-part-faerie boyfriend and her badass motorcycle-riding, literally-Joan-of-Arc immortal-ish witch wife. She deserves that.) The whole Lukaon thing was... not well developed, but frankly, I think that’s mostly because of how much the game tried to do. And really, none of the alternate universe things were that well developed, so if you’re going to criticize aspect of that, criticize them all.

Speaking of the alternate universe things- I loved all of them. Tokyo Street-Witch Bayonetta was perfect and I absolutely used that outfit the entire game, because hello, Chinese Warlord Bayonetta was awesome and it was super fun to see her lead an entire army, Egyptian Princess Bayonetta was super cool and it was amazing to see how she actually managed to have a full character arc, going from bonding with her first Infernal Demon to sacrificing herself to save Bayonetta Prime by the end, and French Thief-Magician Bayonetta- Masque*DeMasque Bayonetta, if you will (Hehe Ace Attorney reference I make myself laugh)- was an utter delight, even if she had the most tragic death. And she allowed us to see Rosa again! And she was the only Bayonetta to be blonde! Where did those genetics come from? No clue! Egyptian Bayonetta seemingly inherited Balder’s silver hair, so no clue where French Bayonetta’s blonde came from, but at least we know how/why Viola was blonde. (Also, we deserved to see a variant of Balder. Just one. It’s not fair that we got to see Rosa again but not him. Anti-feminist, dads and moms should be equally important (THAT’S A JOKE DON’T GET MAD AT ME)) I’d love to see more from any of those Bayonettas.

Sigurd was... not good, but he wasn’t really any worse than Aesir or Bayo-1-Balder would be without other characters to make them work better, and frankly, it’s probably a good thing there wasn’t an attempt at making Sigurd more well-developed, because the game was already pretty over-saturated. Singularity as a final boss was underwhelming compared to Jubileus and Aesir, but that’s honestly probably just because there was no summoning of Queen Sheba/Omne and no Infiniton Climax (Bring back the Big Bang Bonus!).

The setpiece segments of Bayonetta 3 were better than 1 and 2 by a landslide- at least, in my opinion. Even if you just focus on the setpieces from the Deadly Sin Ritual Summonings, they surpass the first two on theatrics alone- ESPECIALLY Baal Zebul. Bayonetta just randomly breaking out into a rhythm minigame with an opera-singing frog-princess-demon? PERFECT. But also... Mega-Godzilla-Sin Gomorrah rock-paper-scissors boss fight? Shockingly fun! Phantasmaraneae being upgraded to The Phantom (Devil May Cry reference! FUCK YEAH! Just make them the same universe PLEASE) and... low-key being implied to represent the Big Bang explosion? And the fight where you’re switching between him and Malphas? Fantastic. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON QUEEN BUTTERFLY. Madama Butterfly was badass enough on her own, but MEGA MADAMA BUTTERFLY USING THE CLOUDS AS A BATHTUB FOR A BOSS FIGHT? Immaculate. How does she relate to Queen Sheba, though? I wonder... (More Inferno lore Platinum please and thank you it’s the least developed of the trinity of realities)

And for one final note- Being able to CHANGE BAYONETTA’S HAIR COLOR FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. WHY WAS THAT NOT A THING BEFORE. REDHEAD BAYONETTA.

[obsidian-warthog]

Currently playing through Bayonetta 3, no spoilers in replies please, but damn the Egypt world got to me.

Was hoping that since Bayonetta got the Chaos Gear before the boss that the Egyptian versions would live, and then that Egyptian Bayonetta might survive because Bayonetta did the super demon summon already and they built a little arc around her and she has a contrasting design with main Bayonetta. Nope, the formula sticks.

I found the glimpses of Chinese and Egyptian Bayonetta's worlds interesting, made me want to learn more about them and feel disappointed they got erased just like that. Bayonetta as a general is an interesting prospect for example, would have loved to really see how that distinguished her from the other Bayonettas.

At the very least it helps me feel motivated to use the other weapons in the game, as a way of honoring the other Bayos and continuing the fight for them. Don't think I ever really bothered with the other weapons in the first game.

[out-of-the-loupe]

JUSTICE FOR JEANNE

[tinseltina]

i'm gonna rant about bayo 3 for a bit

SPOILERS AHEAD IM NOT PUTTING THIS UNDER A READ MORE I WANT MY RAGE TO SHOW PROUDLY

i hate viola. i hate viola because she's too much like luka and i hate luka and i hate clumsy characters as comic relief. and i assume that because of her inclusion THATS why we see so little of luka in the game (aside from all the other subplot for him or maybe BECAUSE of the subplot for him or a result of having his subplot) because it'd be too much clumsy dumbsy comic relief characters.

2! WTAF WAS THAT ENDING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BAYO AND LUKA END UP TOGETHER?! THEY LITERALLY HAVE NEVER HAD ANY CHEMISTRY IN THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!

MAYBE i can accept in another timeline/universe they got together and had a baby, i shudder to even think about that labor process (probably almost started armageddon early)

but THIS timeline? nahhhhh NO WAY! (yes i am aware of the theory that this is little cereza from bayo 1 grown up and she had a fondness for luka in that timeline for taking care of her. but it doesn't actually track for me for a couple of reasons i won't go into) THAT'S A SHOEHORN IN.

am i mad bayo and jeanne don't at least get hinted of being together? yeah, but most of it IS because of the actual chemistry and close relationship they have/d.

it's frustrating to see better relationship writing only when the characters are friends, and the actual romantic interests are dull and shallow. they vague flirtation does not a good romance make.

3. AND FRIGGIN VIOLA BECOMES THE NEW BAYO? GTF OUTTA HERE! AGAIN SHE'S WAY TOO MUCH LIKE LUKA TO TAKE UP THE MANTLE!

sure she's young, but bayo IS meant to be a campy but OP badass, viola doesn't have that (yet). she's just campy, but in a goofy way. in an (unintentional) comic relief way.

i had this thought while watching the cutscenes that this is both the gayest yet most hetero bayo game to date. gay in a "we watched 175 seasons of rupaul's drag race, paris is burning, and at least 100 hours of ballroom performances and competitions.

you get sexiness (arguably less sexiness/fan service than previous installments. bc to me it feels less like it's appealing to straight dudes and more like i'm simply watching a drag queen perform or a burlesque show. wherein the sexiness is primarily for the performer to feel good and express their own art and message.) you get a bit of comedy, you get lots of dancing, but it's also very fierce all the while. to me it felt like the devs realized the target audience/biggest fans were the girls and gays, and, in the words of bayo, "gave [them] everything [they] want"

every different version of bayo throughout the universes? different runway, their different weapons and fighting styles? different performance categories. it was all very fun to me.

i don't think viola can do any of that. that's not her style, she wants to be a cool badass and that's it. but that's NOT bayo. it never has been. if viola (if there was ever a continuation with her as the protagonist) doesn't have a total personality change, then she'll never be able to fill the shoes of bayonetta.

and then the bayo+luka endgame thing. thats the hetero bit. like, that didnt need to be there. heck they could both go to inferno together idc but dont leave like "and in the end they were actually soulmates" bs cuz it was clearly jeanne who is bayo's other half (whether platonic or romantic)

AND ANOTHER THING!!! why did they kill all the bayos? that was a total bummer. it made me cry. like was this platinums way of saying "no more bayo ever again. now leave us alone"

dmc5 wasnt this much of a bummer. and at least they had the excuse of nero already having been a protag who did was dante did before so it's not unusual for him to take up the dmc business. he's just not as funny as dante but he has snark and other characters to play off of that makes him entertaining. the bayo route would have been like if V survives and takes over DMC. WOULDNT FIT TONALLY.

[pigaletta]

ykw I'm just glad Enzo got his family back.

[lunxribuh]

doodle I made to express my frustration at not being able to draw + bonus kitty

pov bayonetta when she realized she had to die at the end of bayo 3

[beetrootbug]

DOCTER SIGARD IS WEARING HEELS???????????????????????????????? HE'S WEARING HEELS???????????????????????????? HE'S WEARING FUCKING STILETTOS??????????????????? WHAT??????????? WHAT?????????? WHAT?????????????? WHAT??????????

i mean like slay, but why is the only twink in the game the bad guy?? It's giving anti girls, the theys and the gays, what's wrong with dudes in heels? What's wrong with bi girls dating lesbians? What's wrong with the creepy pervy dude NOT getting the girl? I'm so confused and i have so many questions, what is wrong with this game???????

I genuinely thought the whole dr sigard thing was gonna be a whole "he represents the patriarchy so now bayos gonna beat his ass" BUT NO, THIS MAN WEARS HEELS, HEELS. THIS MAN IS FRUITY AS FUCK, GENDERQUEER AS FUCK, AND HE'S THE BAD GUY??????? Like what??? First it was bayonetta getting with a creepy pervert (who she had NO chemistry with and was CLEARLY CODED TO BE IN LOVE WITH JEANNE) who ends up being the saviour, the erasure of a lot of bayo's sillier kinky mannerisms/ spells, and now the main villain being an effeminate gay-coded character who is trying to eliminate bayo, who is widely seen by the fandom as a feminist icon (BECAUSE SHE IS), I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M GETTING SOME VIBES HERE, SOME NOT VERY QUEER SUPPORTIVE VIBES HERE. THIS FEEL TERF-ISH MAN. AM I GOING INSANE?? MAYBE.

AM I OVERANALYSING THIS AND LOOKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS? OH MOST DEFINATELY. BUT STILL, I DON'T LIKE THIS. IT'S FUCKING 2023, WHY IS "BAD GUY IS CLEARLY GAY AND GENDERQUEER AND IS GOING TO EAT YOUR CHILDERN AND MAKE A MOCKERY OF WOMEN" STILL A FUCKING TROPE??? FROM BAYONETTA ESPECIALLY! WHAT THE FUCK!

honestly!? If bayo was gonna get with a man, why not make it rodin??? Like, romance wise, they have no chemistry, but luka and her didn't either, so?? Like rodin is a pretty alright dude, he's worlds better than luka and has been nothing but supportive of bayo! Like, if she's gonna get a man, it should be rodin right? That would be the sort of bi feminist shit i'd get down with, cuz it shows a healthy relationship between a man and a bi women, THAT should be the bi rep we strive for.

Anyways dr sigard slays (not really, but he slays more than "arch eve" bayonetta, which isn't saying much)

[veemimis]

<3

[sonofanumbranwitch]

Fuck Lukaon.

That little shit tried to kill my cat.

[beetrootbug]

"15: Wasted opportunity not to give us a version of Bayonetta where she is a Lumen Sage."

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

My take on Bayonetta 3

What the fuck was that ending supposed to mean, if not the whole story!

1: Where was Loki? He would have done something to prevent this shit.

2: In what universe are we supposed to play in!? Clearly not the one that we played in before. As Bayonetta wasn’t even a family name (was never mentioned. And Balder would know it if it was in the 2nd game to recognize Bayonetta as Cereza) up until the third game.

3: giving Luka powers. WHY. He was more interesting as a normal human, it was nothing more then an excuse to make BayoLuka canon. As it was stated Bayonetta would never date him as he dies long before her. And in the first two games, she clearly only sees him as a toy. Nothing more or less. And may i remind everyone that in the third and second game they had little to no screen time together at all!?

4: WHY DID THEY KILL OFF JEANNE MORE THEN ONCE!? She was only there to bring back Bayonetta’s memories in the first game and was pretty much tossed aside in the last 2 games. #justiceforjeanne 

5: God why, why the lovers by fate part? (It’s heavily implied that every Bayonetta ends up with Luka) where the fuck is the fun in that!? It’s boring and there is no surprise in any of them. Let Bayonetta be single or at least put her together with Jeanne, Rodin or even Enzo for all i care in a few multiverses!  6: Why didn’t any Bayonetta survive in any universe? She is one of thé strongest characters in game history, no way that she will be get caught of guard easily. She wasn’t even caught of guard when Loptr revealed himself when he was pretending to be Loki😭😭

7: Where was Balder and the angels?? Bayonetta is literally all about angels and Eyes of the world (they aren’t even mentioned though it is what the game started it’s adventure in the first place) no way that they didn’t think that the worlds were ending cause they were gone.

8: Why did they feel the need to kill off Rosa again? Bayonetta didn’t had it in her to kill Egyptian Jeanne, but she could with Rosa?? HER OWN MOTHER? Oh please.

9: What the hell is Singularity even supposed to be?? Some robot/human guy that wants it’s own universe.

10: Where did the Chaos Gears come from? Why were they in other universes? How were they created? Who created them??

11: Why doesn’t have any weapon it’s own unique taunt anymore? Why can’t they be equipped on feet and hands individually? 

12: What the hell is the Arch Eve even supposed to be? The strongest Umbra Witch? And why does the Earth vanish if the Arch Eve is killed? What happened when humans weren’t there yet? Was it just a white void like what we have seen in Bayo 3?

13: Where the fuck was Rodin in this? He could have helped a LOT. (Especially as he knows his business is in danger as everyone fucking dies)

14: Did all the worlds get restored? Did Bayonetta and Luka get out of Inferno? HELP

15: Wasted opportunity not to give us a version of Bayonetta where she is a Lumen Sage.

MOST LIKELY MORE THINGS I AM UNSATISFIED ABOUT BUT OKAY