#BatfamilyHeadcanon

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: Bruce Wayne Teaches The Batfamily Makeup, And They’re Surprisingly Good At It

Okay, hear me out... Bruce Wayne definitely taught his kids how to do makeup. And I’m not talking about contouring for a night out. I’m talking about, “What if you get a black eye or need to hide a bruise from a fight?” Because Bruce Wayne is nothing if not practical. It wasn’t some elaborate bonding experience, but in his relentless desire to prepare them for all eventualities, he covered everything.

Dick Grayson? He’s surprisingly good at it. Growing up on the circus, the guy’s already an expert at balance and finesse, so makeup for him is just another skill to add to his repertoire. Plus, the man can definitely use it to sneak in a quick glamour shot while staying hidden in plain sight.

Tim Drake? You wouldn’t expect it, but Tim has his techniques down. You think that because he's the detective, he'd be all about gadgets, right? Well, he’s meticulous, and makeup is just another precision tool to add to his arsenal—whether it’s covering up bruises from a bad jump or making sure he doesn’t have raccoon eyes from lack of sleep, Tim’s your guy.

But the real surprise is that Bruce and Jason are the true makeup masters.

Bruce Wayne is a perfectionist, and the fact that he’s had to hide his battle scars over the years means he’s learned to use makeup like a pro. He can cover a black eye, mask a bruise, or even conceal a cut from a fight, all while looking effortlessly put-together in front of Gotham’s elite. The man’s been wearing makeup to hide his pain for decades, and he’s not about to let his kids do any worse.

Jason Todd, of course, learned it the hard way. As Robin, he wanted to look fabulous while fighting crime, and sometimes, that meant he had to cover up the results of a dangerous mission with a little bit of makeup. Jason became quite the expert, practicing on everyone he could: orphan girls, League of Assassins members, Diana, Kara, you name it. If there was someone who needed a touch-up, Jason was there.

What Jason didn't expect was that he’d become the guy people went to for makeup advice. Even Diana asked him about a subtle smokey eye one time. Now, he’s the one giving tips to the family on how to cover those accidental scrapes or bruises—no one messes with Jason Todd's makeup skills.

So, when any of them get hurt? It's Bruce, Dick, Tim, or Jason who comes to the rescue with their expert-level makeup techniques, always ensuring the Batfamily’s battle scars are kept under wraps—literally.

[lavender-skull-garden]

Batfam Headcanons: Jason Lives and Tim Still Joins Edition

Jason survives Ethiopia but gets seriously injured and benched. Bruce is in a dark place, and Tim tries to convince Dick to come back as Robin. Dick says no, so naturally, Tim offers himself up as a “temporary” Robin while Jason recovers

Jason and Tim do not get along. With only two years between them, they see each other as equals, not as “cute little brother, reliable big brother” at least not yet

They fight over everything

• Dick’s attention: Jason’s mad that Dick spends time with Tim. Tim is desperate for Dick’s approval.

• Who’s the better Robin: Jason’s the rough-and-tumble street kid; Tim’s the intellectual strategist. They constantly compete to prove who’s the superior Robin.

• Alfred’s food: Jason always tries to snag extra servings, and Tim’s quick to call him out. Alfred just shakes his head, dealing with them like they’re toddlers.

• After Jason’s injury, Dick gets super protective. He starts treating Jason like he’s fragile and pushes Tim way too hard. Jason hates being babied, and Tim resents how much care Jason gets. Both think the other is Dick’s favorite.

• During No Man’s Land, Tim takes a more active role since Jason’s still out of commission. Tim feels completely overwhelmed, while Jason’s stuck on the sidelines, watching Tim do what he should be doing.

• When Jason recovers, they have to share the Robin mantle, and neither is happy about it. Jason becomes known as “The Gotham Robin” since he rarely leaves Batman’s side or Gotham. Tim, meanwhile, gets called “The Flying Robin” because he’s constantly seen with Young Justice and outside Gotham. They hate these nicknames.

• Then Damian arrives. Jason and Tim, bitter rivals, suddenly form a truce because this kid needs to be taken down a peg. Damian, being Damian, immediately targets Jason, seeing him as the one closest to Batman. Tim is slightly relieved Damian isn’t gunning for him (for now).

• When Bruce disappears, Tim is convinced Bruce is alive but decides to stay in Gotham to help hold things down. Meanwhile, Jason goes rogue, launching his own mission to find Bruce. He takes up the mantle of Red Robin and gets involved with the League of Assassins.

• Tim, realizing he’s outgrown Robin, takes on the identity of Red Wing in homage to his hero, Dick Grayson. Since Nightwing’s mantle is unavailable, he figures this is his chance to carry on a piece of Dick’s legacy.

• Barbara is the one keeping everything together, as usual. She doesn’t get caught up in the Jason/Tim drama, but she’s the glue that holds the Batfamily from completely falling apart.

• Cassandra Cain watches the rivalry unfold but rarely steps in. Her silent presence is enough to get both boys to stop fighting when necessary, and they both secretly fear her disapproval more than they’ll admit.

• Stephanie Brown enjoys watching the chaos. She’s Tim’s friend but finds Jason’s unpredictable energy entertaining. She’s always around with a witty comment to lighten the mood.

• Duke Thomas gets pulled into the madness when he joins the family, and he’s not sure why these two are always at each other’s throats. He’s just trying to survive the day without getting caught in their rivalry.

• When Bruce finally returns, the family is a little less tense. Jason and Tim have matured, and while their rivalry still exists, it’s more playful than hostile. The Batfamily isn’t perfect, but they’re starting to settle into a slightly less chaotic dynamic.

[misakiisstupid]

no. i'm giving you thirteen reasons why.

13 Reasons Why Dick Grayson Should NOT Grow His Hair Out

It’s a “Nightwing” nightmare waiting to happen – You can’t have your hair getting in the way when you’re fighting crime. Nightwing’s already a walking (or swinging) disaster with his acrobatics—don’t make it worse with a hairstyle that screams "I’m too busy for a comb."

Let’s be real, Bruce would never approve – Bruce Wayne is picky about everything. If Dick showed up with a full mane, Bruce would probably have a Bat-titude and give him a "talk" about keeping his hair under control. “No distractions, Dick!”

The "Robin" aesthetic just doesn’t work with a mullet – Remember, Dick was the original Robin���he can’t exactly rock a flowing hairstyle and still look like the boy wonder. It’s like taking a classic DC hero and turning him into a 80s villain. Robin doesn’t need bangs, just bangs of justice.

Crisis of Style – If you think about it, a hair crisis is worse than any actual Crisis in the multiverse. Imagine Dick Grayson caught in a full-on bad hair day during an important mission? Now that’s a true tragedy.

Wouldn’t fit in with the Batfamily's clean-cut aesthetic – The Batfamily has a certain vibe. Bruce, Tim, and Jason all have short, sleek hair. We’re a team, not a 90s boy band. Growing his hair out would ruin the Batman brand. Can you imagine Robin and a rock star?

It would be a hair-raising experience – Dick’s hair might just get in the way when he’s swinging from rooftops. Let’s be honest, trying to grapple with long hair flying around is probably the worst superhero accessory.

More hair = more enemies to fight off – Not only does Dick have to fight bad guys, now he’ll have to fight off tangles and knots. Villains aren’t the only ones who’ll be attacking him—his hairbrush will join the battle too.

Alfred will have to work overtime – Alfred already has enough to do, keeping the Batcave running and making sure Bruce eats something other than protein bars. Do you really want to burden him with Dick’s hair routine too?

His enemies already call him "bird boy" – Let’s not give them more ammo. Can you imagine the jokes if his hair started looking like it belonged in a bird’s nest? They’re already mocking him enough; no need to give them new material.

He's already got enough to juggle—don’t add hair styling – Dick Grayson is busy as hell. He’s got to juggle being a hero, a leader, and someone who constantly tries to keep Batman from falling apart. Do we really need to add a salon appointment to his to-do list?

A little windblown goes a long way – Can you even imagine the damage a strong Gotham wind would do to long hair? One Batstorm and Dick’s looking like a mess. He’s already got a reputation for chaos—let’s not add “hair disaster” to that.

Let’s keep the "Grayson" sharp, not frizzy – Dick is sleek. He’s smooth. He’s the definition of agility and grace. But grow his hair out? He’s more likely to look like a disheveled, confused version of his usual self. And nobody wants that awkward Grayson.

He’s no Superman with the hair – Dick Grayson is the first to admit that his role in the Batfamily is to lead the charge. He doesn’t need to channel any Superman vibes—his strength isn’t in his hair. It’s in his heart, his determination, and his definitely not messy hairstyle.

What if I went back to having longer hair?

[batfam-headcanon-blog]

For Bruce’s birthday, Jason got him a cheap batman costume from target. Bruce wears it every Halloween to give out candy

[ribcage-rodents]

Ok so what if during one of the batkids’ famous prank wars Jason slipped some magical potion or something into Dick’s 4th cup of coffee, and it was supposed to give him like a period for one week. But poor Dickie doesn’t respond well to periods so he pms-ed Hard. He spent the entire week throwing up w/ pounds of chocolate. The batkids are known in the hero world to be tortured or shit and just try to walk it off. The amount of times Wally’s been terrified as Robin/Nightwing pulls a knife out of his stomach and happily gushed about how cool his new dagger is. But Dick’s cramps are so bad he has to take pain relievers. Plus, everyone in the family (and Babs) finds it really funny to slap Dick’s pec bc “they’re really sensitive rn you assholes!” And everyone is like, “Wow, Jaybird nice one! You got Dickie out in fourth round!” But here’s the thing Dick is a lightweight and Jason accidentally put way too much in his coffee, resulting in Dickie pmsing once a month. Normally w/ all the time they spend together Babs’ and Dick’s cycles would sync up but Dick’s isn’t a cycle it’s just random. So nobody knows when Dick will snap. Of course Dickie is the family’s sweetheart, but when Dick is mad it’s scarier than the Batman’s wrath. (Whenever Dick is genuinely mad Batman always conviently goes on a mission, aka he goes to one of the Wayne secret islands.) A usual morning during Dick’s pmsing goes something like this.

One of the batkids ate Dick’s cereal;

*Batfamily eating breakfast, Dick staring at his empty box of cereal.*

*starts screaming in Romani*

*batkids all share terrified looks.*

Bruce: “Hey now chum calm down, it’s ok.” *goes to put hand on Dick’s shoulder.*

Dick: *whips around* “Don’t FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!” *storms out of the room w/ a tub of ice cream.*

Rest of the batfamily: *trying to find a way to get out of the house*

Originally the batfamily made Jason take care of Dickiebird but every time Jason entered his room Dick would scream about his face giving him a headache. Now usually poor Babs has to hold back his hair while he vomits.

Rip the team (which ever team Y’all put Dickie in. Titans, Teen Titans, Young Justice.) when someone pisses him off when he’s pmsing.

#batfamilyheadcanon

[realvibehater]

Headcanon that Jason Todd once went to his tombstone and replaced the RIP with a BRB and a wink emoji when he went back to Gotham

[ifuckinglovebats]

hey guys!

sohotthateveryonedied tagged me in this so I though i would give it a try

Rules: tag nine people you would like to get to know better

Relationship status: single but I’m still hoping

Favorite color: Purple

Pets: I have two cats called the joker and Harley Quinn. 

Last song I listened to: I last listened to  [Cover] deCIPHER. It’s really good!

Favorite TV shows: Gravity falls, Merlin, the Simpsons, Tokyo ghoul,the flash , sherlock and the young justice league 

Hobbies: reading,karate,cooking,singing badly, dancing also badly and nothing productive with my life. And writing

Books I’m currently reading: I don’t know if this counts but I recently started to read the Tokyo Ghoul Anime. If that doesn't then I’m darting between books

I tag  ask-spiderpool,  all-of-the-robins, batfamilyheadcanons-blog, sherlockthinksaboutjohn, ky-jane, ask-assassin-spiderman, lordpigeon156, quicksilver123456, anomalyah

sorry if I did the taging things wrong I’m new to this

[wittyend]

Theatened

Author: Me

Fandom: Batman

Rating: High T just to be safe

Spoilers: None

Warnings/Triggers: Slight torture, mentions of murder and past torture but nothing descriptive, threatening a minors life, description of future torture to a minor.

written for Batfamilyheadcanon 439

The two sharp pricks in his back made Damian stay still as he regained consciousness. Keeping his breathing steady and eyes closed he mentally took a quick report about what had happened.

His gauntlets and boots were gone and replaced with thin wire tightly wrapped around them. He gritted his teeth, he couldn’t move or his arms and legs would be shredded. He shifted carefully and hissed when whatever was pricking his back pulled and tugged. Something embedded then; lower back, close enough to nerves to make it hurt, not close enough to anything to paralyze him should he move wrong. He still had his mask on but the weight of his utility belt was gone as well as all his hidden knives.

Whoever took him knew what they were doing.

There was a quiet put upon sigh, “Oh Damian stop pretending you’re not awake it’s embarrassing for both of us.” A female voice spoke and Damian finally opened his eyes. There was a familiar looking woman at the other side of the room drinking, from what he could smell, coffee.

She sat calmly, legs crossed, smiling and her brown hair was pulled into a tight bun. She set the cup down and stood deftly sliding leather gloves onto her hands.

“Oh you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.” The woman laughed and smiled.

When Damian said nothing she moved to get closer to him.

“Seems you’ve lost your manners, you always used to come and give me a hug. Then again you were about four last you saw me so you might not remember me.” She continued, voice keeping a soft even tone, stopping in front of Damian. “Or are you using the torture training your grandfather gave you and not speaking so as not to incriminate yourself?”

When there was again no answer she continued, “It’s your aunty Janet Craine, though my married name is Drake.” She paused and laughed when Damian’s eyes widened slightly. “Yes that Drake. Has Timothy ever told you what I do for a living?” She questioned, curious.

“I’m afraid Drake and I do not speak much.” Damian hissed, fists clenching.

“Yes that’s right…you just try to kill him.” Janet growled and pushed on Damian’s chest harshly. He grunted and let out a hiss through his teeth. “Let me tell you something Damian; I am in the type of business that gets hired out for a lot. My superiors thought it’d be wise to have a family cover story, but always kept me away on business. I always hated I never got to see my only son grow up in person.” She gripped his chin and tilted his head back, “Now that I’ve disposed of said superiors I have been rekindling my relationship with my son. I don’t like what he’s been doing, but I’m proud of him none the less. I am however disappointed and furious that you have made several attempts on his life.”

Damian said nothing and spit at her.

Janet didn’t flinch when it hit her cheek and brushed it away with a finger like she was wiping off dust.

“That is not going to win you any points. Obviously you are not taking my warning seriously.” She pulled a remote from her pocket and a picture appeared on the wall opposite them with a newspaper article about a horrible suicide of a Prime Minister of Libya.

“Those are always fun to do. For you I would go with something more personal like a knife through your heart or lungs. You like knives right?”

The article disappeared and another appeared about a building fire from a meth lab exploding, miraculously only killing two people. A car wreck that injured one and killed a senator was next.

“Accidents are always fun for a rush, you have to time them just right for minimum casualties.”

A building engulfed in flames with a title, HUNDREDS KILLED IN APARTMENT FIRE above it came next.

“Though sometimes it can’t be helped. I think a fire at your school during a sporting event would be good, or locking you in a freezer during a fight with a bad guy.”

The next sets of pictures were up close of victims being tortured in numerous ways each more painful looking than the last.

Damian could feel the wires digging into his skin and he made himself relax.

“These are some of my favorite jobs; a lot of them were from your grandfather.”

Damian jerked his head towards her, startled. Grandfather only hired the best to take out a target.

“I think you’re getting it now.” Janet gushed sounding proud that he had finally figured out her puzzle. "I'm sure you know as well as I do the best ways to inflict maximum damage to someone without killing them right off. I'd break you jaw first so you couldn't talk. Then piece by piece I would cut off your skin until I get bored and then I'd start cutting off fingers before going to split you open like a pig. I could keep you alive for days like that before I decided to cut out your tongue and make you drown in your own blood."

The pictures went away and Janet stood in front of him. Leaning down she grabbed his forearms and squeezed making Damian flinch and gasp and the wires cut into his arms and the things in his back pull.

“This is going to be my only warning to you Damian Wayne.” She hissed and Damian looked at her, “You touch my son in any attempt to hurt or kill him and you will find yourself very short on time to live. I may not have been the best mother, but the fault is only half mine. I’m making up for it now and if you rob me of this I will rob you of your life. I have no qualms in killing children.” She paused letting her words sink in only continuing once Damian nodded.

“Glad we had this little chat and I hope we part understanding each other very clearly.”

Damian snarled but nodded again.

“Good, farewell for now; Batman and Red Robin should be here in about ten minutes to get you. And remember the next time you see me alone will be to kill you.”

She pushed hard to knock the chair back making Damian scream as it landed with a heavy thud.

Breathing hard he barely heard the soft footsteps walking away before a door opened and closed leaving him alone.

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: Damian Wayne Has a Fanclub (And a Whole Fan Wiki)

Damian Wayne, Gotham’s youngest and most reluctantly public figure, might not realize it, but he's very popular in certain circles. Namely, the teenage girl circles. And no, it’s not just because he’s the son of the Dark Knight—it's because his civilian persona is a perfect combination of brooding, mysterious, and ridiculously good-looking.

When Damian Wayne—aka the son of Bruce Wayne, heir to the Wayne fortune—first set foot in Gotham Academy, he caught the attention of the school’s social media-savvy students. It started with a few innocent fan posts, pictures from the cafeteria, and cheeky memes making fun of his "I’m too cool for you" attitude. But as time went on, Damian’s charm(whether he likes it or not) grew on the student body, and soon, a full-blown fanclub was born.

Yes, a fanclub.

It’s a very organized affair, with meetings in back alleys (because Damian totally doesn’t know) and highly secretive groups where only the most hardcore of fans know the real details about him. They keep it lowkey—mostly because if Damian found out, they’d all get an earful of his sharp, angry critiques—but they keep track of every little thing Damian does. Every time he smiles (yes, there are rare instances), every time he steps into a room, every time he does anything, they know. They document it in real-time.

Now, the fan wiki? Oh yeah, that's a thing.

Damian’s “most notable moments,” as they call it, are listed in detail. There’s a section on his definitely fake favorite food (it’s sushi, always sushi) and a timeline of the few times he’s smiled in public, ranked by “least awkward” to “actually kinda cute.” His “quote of the year” section features his signature lines like, “I’m not your brother, Grayson,” and, “I’ll fight you for this, but I won’t like it.” Oh, and don’t forget the fan art. Hundreds of fan art pieces. Because if there's one thing that’ll get you noticed in Gotham, it’s an artsy interpretation of Damian scowling while holding a kitten.

Damian, of course, has no idea about this. He thinks that all the attention he gets is solely due to his status as the son of the wealthy Bruce Wayne and the superior skills he’s spent his whole life cultivating. But secretly—when no one is looking—he does get a little bit annoyed at the weirdly flattering attention. It's... weirdly endearing... but also so weird. The idea that people are talking about him in that way, analyzing his every move? Not cool. And yet, somehow, it still feels a bit like he’s winning.

So one night, while perusing through the deep corners of the internet to distract himself, he stumbles upon the fan wiki. His own fan wiki.

He immediately cringes and deletes the app from his phone. But deep down, he secretly wonders how they would’ve known about his sushi obsession... and the Kitten Picture Incident.

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: Jason Todd is the Mysterious Author of a Bestseller

At some point in his life, Jason Todd secretly wrote a bestseller. A gritty, emotional thriller about redemption, betrayal, and finding oneself in a world that wants to tear you down. No one knows it was him, of course. He doesn’t exactly brag about it, and he most certainly doesn’t tell anyone. In fact, Jason hasn’t even told himself how successful it’s been. But someone knows. Well, maybe one someone.

Damian, being the curious mind that he is, picks up a copy of the book in Gotham's public library after a particularly long day of being an angsty teen. He gets absolutely sucked into it—despite the fact that he’s usually not the type for dramatic reads. It speaks to him, in some weird way, like it’s tailored to his own inner turmoil. He reads it cover to cover in one sitting.

The next morning, still reeling from the catharsis of it all, he approaches Jason in the Batcave.

“Red,” he says, his voice serious and yet somehow carrying a hint of rare, genuine curiosity, “You need to read this book. It’s… perfect for you.”

Jason raises an eyebrow, not quite understanding where this is going.

“What book?” he asks, still cleaning his guns, completely uninterested.

Damian throws the book on the table in front of him, the cover facing up. The name of the book is unimportant. But the title is... well, it’s poetic in the most unexpected way.

Jason glances at it, his brow furrowing. “Where did you get this?”

“It’s a bestseller,” Damian says, as though that’s some kind of secret that Jason should already know. “It’s an excellent read. You should look into it. It’ll help you understand your… reasons for everything.”

Jason gives him a long, pointed look, then laughs a bit too loud. “What the hell? I’m not reading some artsy, self-help crap.”

But deep down, Jason wonders. He wonders why Damian is so sure this book will help him. But of course, he doesn’t admit it, and neither does Damian.

Little does Jason know, Damian is already so sure that Jason is the one who wrote it. But what would he say? Would he ever admit it?

Damian already knows, though. He just won’t say it.

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: Bruce Wayne Wants to Adopt Billy Batson

Listen. Bruce has adopted kids for way less. But this? This is fate. This is destiny. This is—

"Billy Batson."

Bruce took one look at the kid and immediately felt the urge to offer him an official Wayne adoption package, complete with a new bedroom, an allowance, and an endless supply of overprotective siblings. Unfortunately, the Justice League refuses to let Billy join the Batfamily because, and I quote, "Bruce, he’s already got a life and a home, you can’t just keep adopting every emotionally repressed child you meet."

The child safety authorities also aren’t thrilled. To them, Bruce Wayne is looking less like a responsible billionaire philanthropist and more like a collector. They’re not convinced this isn’t some kind of elaborate Pokémon situation, where Bruce is determined to catch ‘em all.

So now Bruce is stuck. Billy’s technically fine—he has a home, he’s got a support system, he’s got the wisdom of Solomon—but Bruce knows that under all that magic, there’s just a kid who could use a stable adult in his corner.

So he does the next best thing: He mentors Billy in the most passive-aggressive way possible. Is Billy on patrol? Guess who just happens to be nearby, offering unsolicited advice and stealth-dropping life lessons. Did Billy get into trouble? Bruce is already handling it before Billy even realizes there was a problem. Randomly, Billy starts getting care packages—expensive gloves for the winter, school supplies, a suspiciously well-balanced meal delivered to his apartment.

Billy: "Did you send me food?" Bruce: "I have no idea what you’re talking about." (He absolutely did.)

Meanwhile, the Batkids just accept that Billy is basically their brother now, official paperwork or not.

Jason: "You know he’s gonna wear you down eventually, right?" Billy: "The League won’t let him." Tim: "Yeah, neither would CPS, and yet here we are." Billy: "…Oh god, I’m gonna be a Wayne, aren’t I?" Dick, grinning: "We already got your room ready!"

Bruce is just waiting. One day, Billy will give in. One day.

[misakiisstupid]

Scenario: Jon Takes Damian to the Kent Farm to Teach Him Cow Care

It was a quiet afternoon at the Kent farm, the kind of day Jon really cherished—the sun was warm, there was a light breeze rustling through the trees, and the sounds of farm life filled the air. Jon had an idea. A brilliant idea. He’d been thinking about it for days, and now was the perfect opportunity.

He looked at Damian, who was standing near the barn, arms crossed, looking at the cows with that half-bored expression he had perfected in Gotham. Damian had never been to the Kent farm before, despite all of their time together. Jon had mentioned it once or twice, sure, but he’d never really pushed. Now, though, the time had come. There was a mission at hand.

“Okay, Damian,” Jon said, trying his best to sound casual, despite the slight twitch in his voice from excitement, “I think it’s time for you to meet… the cows.”

Damian didn’t look up. Instead, he tilted his head in a way that suggested he was trying to figure out if Jon was mocking him. “I already know what cows are, Jonathan. They are large, lumbering creatures that produce milk. Why exactly am I here?”

Jon resisted the urge to giggle. “It’s for Batcow. She’s, um, kind of lonely, and we need to make sure she’s okay. You’re her… owner, right?”

Damian’s face didn’t change, but Jon could see a slight flicker in his eyes. “I know how to feed her, Jonathan.”

Jon felt a pang of hesitation. “Right. But… do you know how to take care of her properly?”

Damian paused, his usual confidence wavering just a little. “What do you mean by 'properly'?"

Before Jon could respond, there was a loud, boisterous voice behind them. “Well, I think we can show Damian how to properly care for a cow!” Superman, aka Clark Kent, appeared, wearing his usual blue jeans and plaid shirt, looking like the most wholesome, farm-ready superhero anyone could imagine. He walked over with a smile, clapping his hand on Damian’s shoulder, to which Damian stiffened but didn’t protest.

Jon grinned. “I thought you'd want to help out, Dad.”

Clark gave Jon a knowing smile, then turned to Damian. “Don’t worry, kiddo. This is actually a pretty important skill. You can’t just expect Batcow to be healthy without understanding how to properly care for her.”

Damian didn’t meet his gaze, but he wasn’t running away either. This was uncharted territory for him. He had been raised in a world of combat, strategy, and cold precision—not caring for animals.

“Fine,” Damian muttered, “I’m here. But I don’t see the point of this… bonding.”

Jon’s grin didn’t falter. *“Trust me. You’ll get it. And besides, this will make Batcow really happy. She’s your pet. She’s *your* responsibility. It’s important, Damian.”*

Superman nodded in agreement. “You’d be surprised how much a good bond with your animals can make a difference. And it’s not hard to learn. Come on, I’ll show you.”

They led Damian to one of the large cows in the field, a brown-and-white one with large, curious eyes. “This is Bessie,” Clark explained, his tone patient and light. “She’s one of the older cows, but she’s a great example. We need to make sure she’s fed, cleaned, and—yup, here’s the part you might not have thought about—milked regularly.”

Damian raised an eyebrow. *“Milking? Is that truly necessary? Batcow isn’t… a *normal* cow.”*

Jon couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, Batcow’s not normal. But she’s still a cow. And cows need to be milked. Unless you want her to get sick, like… super sick.”

Superman added, “You’d be amazed how quickly cows get agitated if they aren’t properly taken care of. Not to mention, you don’t want Batcow to start getting cranky around Alfred and the dogs. Trust me.”

Damian frowned slightly, but he didn’t argue. He watched as Clark demonstrated, effortlessly milking Bessie with a calm, practiced hand. “See? It’s not hard once you get the hang of it. It’s all about gentle handling and understanding the animal’s needs.”

Jon was watching with intense interest, but he glanced at Damian, who was still standing stiff as a board. “Come on, Damian. Just give it a try.”

Damian hesitated for a moment, clearly processing the situation. But then, he walked forward, kneeling beside the cow with an almost dignified air. Slowly, he reached out to try milking Bessie—who, to his surprise, didn’t recoil or stomp her feet, but simply blinked at him.

“You have to be careful,” Superman said, guiding Damian’s hand. “Gently, not too fast. Trust the cow. You’ll get the rhythm.”

Damian’s focus narrowed, his gaze steely as he tried, the muscles in his arms tensing slightly. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered, but his voice held a note of determination. He wasn’t going to let Jon or Superman see him fail.

Jon chuckled and stepped back to give him some space. “Look at you go, Dami! You’re basically a cow whisperer already.”

Damian shot him a glare. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” he grumbled, but his face softened ever so slightly. The bond between him and Bessie, however unspoken, was becoming real in that moment.

Clark smiled, proud of the young Wayne. *“You’re doing great, Damian. The animals *really* do appreciate the care, even if they can’t say it.”*

Jon stepped in again, just to lighten the mood. *“And hey, look, if Batcow ever gets jealous of Bessie, you can always invite her over here for a few *cow playdates.”

Damian just rolled his eyes, clearly not that amused, but the glimmer of a smile tugged at his lips, even if he wouldn’t admit it. “Fine. But I won’t be calling it a playdate.”

As they wrapped up the lesson, Jon threw an arm around Damian’s shoulder. “Well, now you know. Batcow’s gonna be so much happier.”

Damian grunted, but the tension in his shoulders had eased just a little. “Fine. Fine. But I still think this whole ‘bonding with animals’ thing is highly overrated.”

Jon laughed. *“That’s okay. You don’t have to *love* it, but at least Batcow will appreciate it.”*

Superman gave them both a warm smile as they walked back toward the house. “Good work, Damian. Remember, animals respond to patience and consistency. That’s the most important part.”

Jon beamed, content in the knowledge that he had successfully bonded with Damian, in his own quirky, offbeat way. And maybe—just maybe—Damian would start understanding the importance of care and responsibility, even for a cow like Batcow.

Damian would never admit it, but somewhere deep down, he was starting to get it.

End.

[misakiisstupid]

Headcanon: Dick Grayson Has a Full Skincare Routine and Absolutely Sticks to It—No Matter What.

Okay, hear me out. Dick Grayson is, without a doubt, the most dedicated to his skincare routine in the entire Batfamily. We all know Bruce is all about the mission, but Dick? Dick has found the delicate balance between saving the world and having glowing skin.

No, seriously. Dick has a whole skincare routine he follows religiously. It doesn’t matter if he’s on a mission in the middle of a jungle or stuck in the Batcave for 48 hours straight—he will cleanse, tone, moisturize, and apply SPF (yes, even if he's wearing a mask and helmet). Don’t ask him how he does it; just trust that he does. He even packs travel-size bottles of his favorite products in his utility belt, like some sort of luxury hero, because a glowing complexion is a must—no compromises.

When the team goes on missions, everyone else is eating protein bars and drinking questionable "energy drinks." Meanwhile, Dick is in a tent in the middle of nowhere, sitting cross-legged with a face mask on, looking like he just walked off a beauty influencer's set. The team collectively rolls their eyes when they hear the sound of him popping a sheet mask on under his cowl. He’s the only person who could be face-deep in mud one minute and looking like he’s about to film a commercial for moisturizers the next.

And get this—Bruce knows about it. He’s tried to make comments like, “You’re wasting time on that,” but even Bruce can’t deny how good Dick looks when he’s not up in his face with a full schedule of crime fighting.

When asked about his skincare routine, Dick will give you the longest, most enthusiastic explanation you never asked for. He’s got the perfect mix of high-end products and natural remedies that probably only he knows about. But hey, who wouldn’t listen to the guy with perfect skin and a cheeky grin?

Dick’s inner monologue when someone questions his skincare routine: “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. You think Bruce doesn’t notice how fresh I look? He can’t keep up with this glow, man. It’s all about hydration. And SPF. Gotta protect the skin.”

Bonus: Dick also spends at least 10 minutes every morning just admiring himself in the mirror. It’s a real “you’re killing it, buddy” kind of vibe.

And don’t even get started on how his routines change when he’s in the field. Imagine, right before a high-stakes mission, Dick Grayson, in full Nightwing gear, standing in front of a small bathroom mirror, gently massaging his skin serum in, mentally preparing for taking down criminals while making sure his skin stays flawless.