#Bare in mind this is an opinion piece. Everyone has their own version of a “souls-like” but to me

[jaythelay]

The reason DS2 has such a split viewpoint I believe comes down to it lacking what I believe is the elements that form a True Souls-Like experience.

To me, Souls-Like means the Designer Earning the Player's Trust via creating a puzzle with seemingly missing pieces.

Put it in it's simplest way, the first boss of DS1 teaches you this. You're missing pieces. Absolutely you can win with what you got, but do you really wanna slog through that? Or explore for more Options to Gameplay. Gaining More Options the More You Play.

It's about Player Growth in a hostile world where the Only People You Can Trust Are The Designers. These enemies are bunched together for no reason, there's a bunch of balls you can set loose upon them, sorta thing. A trust that This Puzzle Piece has Pieces That Connect Better Than Others, if not then only for you!

People do not discuss that the Interconnectivity of DS1 isn't simply that the world is connected via shortcuts, it's that the Levels are connected via shortcuts. You're not just going from an elevator to Blighttown, you're jumping down edges in Blighttown that make the traversal take A Few Minutes, and double that short time back up. When you make a "Leap of Faith" that Consistently Works, the Designers Earned Trust, Respect.

When you explore, you will Always Find Something. An enemy, an Item, an NPC, a bonfire, a shortcut, etcetcetc I cannot emphasize thia enough so you'll encapsulate it, but Dark Souls is Designed. It's weapons, NPC and enemy interactions, it's shortcuts, it's levels and world, it's music, is, all, designed with Intention that Ensure the Player Trusts The Designers.

DS2 immedietely throws a giant at your first point of exploration. All those torchesyou lit? Meaningless. That stoned enemy? Pointless to waste your item. There's a Gender Swap coffin Literally Immedietely because of a bug they couldn't fix and they made it vague to understand in text. You can softlock yourself early on via no blacksmith to repair items, and thus the "Avoid the Gankfests" become only gankfests you cannot possibly surpass armorless and fists only, so restart.

DS2 doesn't try to earn trust. It doesn't try to earn respect. What it is, is the CEO's son, coming in to force their ideas onto creatives that force their ideas out. They literally focused on the visuals, the fuckin' Shadows, on a 256mb ram console and it's weaker competitor. You're only punished for exploration with Dead Ends with Nothing in or to come to them. You find Disposable items constantly that do so little.

Like there's a giant crossbow interactable and only one section to use it on an enemy and it's a secret anyways. There's wasted resources everywhere because the world design had to be compromised for the incohesive level design made with no communication or clue where they'd even fucking be, so the story had to be compromised for the world design, and the levels made? Their geometry untouched from their inception. They slapped a coat of Enemy and Item paint onto disconnected levels they never altered and weren't designed to stay as they were, but be adjusted For The Gameplay.

Of which, they ensured was a tedium. I get that people enjoy those old Flash Games where you learn through trial and error but my man, is that Good Design or is that Explicit Design? As in, is it really "intentional" if the intention is the Tedium of trial and error no mistakes? Is that Design? Is it Good Design? No. If a 13yo can make a flash game with the exact same philosophy, it's not Good Design, it's a Job.

What DS2 onwards feels like, is a Prestige Earner for the Player. It's about Flashy encounters, watching live-streams and trailers, it's about making it marketable without any of the intention that came from DS1. About Still Screenshots of levels and not the motion of going through it. It looks nice, but to actually interact is to find flaws in it's useability. For art, for inspiration, for player growth, DS2 teaches the player nothing.

DS1 made people better at gaming. Where-as DS2 is why people were bad in the first place. There's no intention, there's no respect, no no no! It's JUST the stamina bar, the dodging, the soul reclaimation, that's Souls-Like!

Designer and Player being on the same side? Mutual Trust and Respect? Player Growth? Nope. All replaced with the prestige that you decided 500+ deaths for a boss was a worthwhile endeavor Creatively and Artistically.

I never feel that "sense of accomplishment" in DS2 onwards, I only ever say "Thank god that over, hopefully it gets better" and it never does. It demands of you to treat it as a Job, and not a Game.

Learning mechanics? What mechanics? Get good at dodging and timing, that's Dark Souls.

Exploration? What you mean a side-path that immedietely ends in a disposable item? Yay.

Finding your own shortcuts the designer actually intended? Nah that just kills you now.

Never in DS2 do I feel like the game tries to earn respect or trust. In fact it tarnishes whatever goodwill DS1 basically BOUGHT for them. And immedietely they wanted To Look Cool. Not Be Good.

I'm sorry but there's no excuse for fire to burn a metal fucking beam. That's stupid. That laughably fucking stupid. There is no oil on that fucking thing dude, quit lying. A Good Way To Handle This would've been Using pyromancy on the fan, using a bomb, using something to coat it in fucking oil first. But no. Metal Beam Set Aflame. Sure, that's "intentional design" in someone's eyes, and not the continuing flaw of a Hallway Level Design where the only thing to do Is Progress on The Path.

Look, I'm trying. I really, honestly, truly believe I'm The Guy putting in The Effort. My plan after DS2SotFS is to go to DS2, then the 360 port. And then back through SotFS again. I'm watching an absurd number of videos, reading an absurdly large level of positive pieces. But here's where-in, another problems sprouts.

DS2 is Reliant upon Community far more than DS1, and it's a far, far worse resource than DS1's was. Nobody can agree if a section or boss is even good. Everyone just tells you the cheese strat. Nobody explains mechanics or what you're doing wrong, they just say "DS1 did that!" in the literal only one or two examples in that game, and compare it to what is most of DS2. Like regardless of anything, the flaws of DS1 should've been addressed? Not made worse and more abundant? It's not even a good argument, DS1 came first, it's the first in the series. Yeah I expect there to be flaws, but it Fundamentally Earned My Trust, so those flaws are ignorable, even small in the grand scheme of things, but most importantly? I trust there's Good after the Bad.

DS2 gives Slog after Slog after Slog after Gankfest after "avoid the gankfest" after poor hitbox readability after impossible to dodge, then punishes you for exploration, punishes you for experimenting of which they offer very seldom, and then demands of you to Take a Leap of Faith that the designers intended you ti make this jump, or will discover the obscure mechanic that they only use once and forget about.

There's no intentionality to the world or level design, the story did patchwork for the world design but story doesn't affect level design, of which they Did Not Touch the Geometry for at all.

What DS1 does that DS2 does the opposite, is make the player feel like even after a hundred losses, it's possible. You will quit the game in the most pissed off gamer rage ever, and come back in a few hours totally devoid of that rage. DS2 onwards has None of that. You will leave and question coming back, if it's even worth it. You'll look it up online and go. Wow. That's what they wanted, what I was doing, and it's Not Fun At All.

"DS isn't supposed to be fun/games don't have to be fun" We have a fundamentally misunderstanding upon what Fun is. Fun is when you Trust the Other Player, when you don't, that's not fun. It's not fun to play against a cheater, it's not fun to play against a sore loser nor to create sore losers through yout own attitude. It's Fun when you Lose and go "aw shucks I made a miatake" but DS2 onwards is Never that. It's "How could I possibly" and the answer is the terrible community with bad information all about cheesing the section as hard as possible.

It's fun in DS1 to throw Dung over a wall at a capra demon because it's a CHOICE. DS2 offers no player freedom. Big Sword Build beats all and good luck proving Most Of The Community wrong about that because the game tarnished their trust within that first absolutely amateur, mind numbingly boring hour. I can write movie length scripts on how bad the first hour or two of DS2 is and I'm not even kidding. It's Really Fucking Bad and only marginally improves for a short while before you essentially reach the end where it has moments of glory and moments of below-amateur work.

I don't like shitting on artistic pieces unless I genuinely feel like there's an Ego to their work. And DS2 onwards only has Ego. It is a Prestige Earner, not an experience. You play these games so you can say, You Did It. Congrats, that's not a Souls-Like or a good game though, it's on par with a 13yo's flash game in the early 2000s. With just as much for the player to take away into other experiences.

DS1 genuinely made life easier for me. The insurmountable Had Design. Like as simple as filing taxes or some shit, there's a design, they didn't make it actually impoasible through a lack of effort. Driving a car? Fuck no, but I imagine it's simpler in my mind now. It was Intentionally Designed! I trust regulations and warning labels because someone Died for them.

DS2 curbstomps that and makes me uncertain again in the worst way. There really are things so poorly made that few will find the eay to surpass them Drawing? Imposaible unless you likw banging your head against a wall, there's no shortcuts, nothing to learn, just tedium and reptition, that's it. No fun or art. DS2 is no fun nor art, it is that if a slog. Fundamentally kneecapped from inception by a complete dumbass who thought 256mb was enough for Ray Tracing Quality shadows. Speechless that he got the position being that completely incompetant and unaware. Visuals. Dark Souls, these 2 are not connected, and yet ER certainly seems to think it's The Most Important Element regardless.

Blegh, I'm trying. But the game absolutely isn't. DS1 does, and it's why there's no argument it's Good. It's why it's community is an actual resource. It respected and trusted the player to trust and reapect them through hard times. DS2 just says "you got infinite chances so just keep trying" Booooooring, lazy, amateur, anything not-intentional basically.

[mamamittens]

Oh, Sweet Child of Mine (Pt. 1)

Reader-insert & Whitebeard Pirates

Master Post for series.

Warning: (Platonic) yandere behavior, physical injury, blood, and kidnapping. If any of these make you uncomfortable (especially yandere content), you should not read this or any following parts.

Please block the tag "oh sweet child of mine" if you are uninterested in this story and "one piece yandere" if stories like this make you uncomfortable. For everyone else, please do remember that as sweet/touching as this behavior is or can be, it is deeply toxic and troubling in real life. Anyone that treats you with such disregard in terms of your boundaries or respecting your decisions should not be tolerated.

Please stay safe and have fun.

Word Count: 2,880

Devil fruits in the marines has always been handled a bit oddly. On paper, no low rank has a devil fruit. Because having a devil fruit tends to make even weak humans stronger, even if under highly specific circumstances. But you can’t just promote people because they ate something weird. They have to earn their position. This problem is handily solved by… ignoring the issue entirely.

Strong marines will, eventually, be promoted. So it stood to reason that strong marines with powerful abilities will be promoted even faster.

You were, however, of the opinion that there should be some sort of allowance made for marines that just can’t handle power without it going to their head.

Those people should scrub toilets until they learn at least a bare minimum amount of humility.

Why would you, of all people, have that opinion?

Because you got to watch, in real time, how quickly people given power without earning it lose their damn minds. It was, in fact, your own devil fruit’s power to ‘dial up’ other devil fruits. Just being near you had this effect. No, no one had any idea what your devil fruit was supposed to be called. Apparently, it was one of the few not in any encyclopedia on the subject, so you didn’t even know your own limits by proxy.

If you had the choice to go back in time you would never have eaten that weirdly flat yellow fruit. But you were stupid and hungry and here you were. Babysitting yet another ensign who simply could not handle having stronger powers with any grace.

Ensign Williams had a candle-candle fruit. Basically, a very weak version of the logia fruit flame-flame. His fire would always be weaker, smaller, and easier put out. Until you showed up, wherein he was capable of fairly impressive feats. In fact, it had been a full week and Williams went from being in awe of what he could now accomplish with you by his side to fully up his own ass with his ‘rightful power’. Unfortunately, he was your partner for the time being, so you just had to try and reign in his ass-ness before he burned the town to the ground by accident.

Mostly this involved walking away when he started being a prick to the local townsfolk to remind him that this ‘grand power’ he held was, in fact, only possible with your presence. Trying to physically stop him just got you a bloody nose. So, wounding his ego was the best you could do for everyone involved. Usually, you excused this by a sudden, burning need to pet a dog or cat or sufficiently friendly bird. They, at least, appreciated your presence and efforts.

“I’m going places, you know!” Williams declared in a huff, running up to you as you scratched a dog’s ears. Really ruffling the floppy appendages around as the dog panted and drooled in happiness. “The marines will see that I deserve a promotion soon enough with all the good work I’ve been doing!” You gave him a dry look.

“You depend on your devil fruit too much. What are you going to do when that’s not enough? I won’t always be around, you know.” You reminded him gently, feeding the mutt a milk bone from your pocket as you stood up. “This is the Grand Line. Eventually you’re going to run into a Yonko or something. What then? You think Red-Hair or Big Mom will care about a little fire?”

Williams paled at the suggestion, reality peaking in through his delusion before, with herculean effort, it was pushed back once again.

“And what about you, huh? Your devil fruit is useless for yourself! You’re a weak, useless thing on your own!” Williams sneered. You stared at him, unimpressed.

“That’s what training is for. Which is what I would be doing if I didn’t have to run around with you all the time.” You sighed. The big folks up top wanted to see just how much power you could give a weak devil fruit, likely in preparation to assign you to someone with a devil fruit user actually noteworthy. If there were side effects, they didn’t want an admiral to be the first to face it, after all. Personally, you were hoping for someone like Smoker. Reasonable, experienced, and well known for his skill outside his devil fruit.

Although, you were starting to think this delusional mindset was the side effect. Natural or induced, the people you gave boosts to often had a period of euphoria and increased aggression, narcissism, and short-sightedness. Hard to say since, so far, everyone you’ve been assigned to has been an asshole.

Possibly a marine-specific issue.

“Bring-ring. Ring-ring. Ring-rin—clack!” You answered the bored snail in your pocket.

“Ensign—”

“Fire Fist Ace has been spotted in your area! You and Ensign Williams are to attempt apprehension. No other Whitebeard Pirates have been spotted but be advised there are likely more—possibly another commander. If you see them, flee on sight.” They hung up immediately before you could even respond. Sighing, you looked up at Williams.

He looked strangely pale before gathering himself, a smug smirk quickly taking over his features.

“Hah! See that? They already know I’m going to accomplish great things. This will be only the beginning of my legacy as a marine!” Williams grabbed you arm and started running down the street, looking around like a madman for ‘Fire Fist’, jostling your glasses hard. They nearly flew off when he spotted a column of fire across town and yanked you with him. “Watch as a real marine works, useless!”

Fire Fist was crouched in the middle of the street, pointing at a stand that had fallen over, his back to the both of you. Whitebeard’s Jolly Roger stark against his tan skin.

“—highway robbery prices, you’re out of your mind if you think I’d pay for something broken!” Fire Fist huffed. While it was true you couldn’t see another pirate with him, it was common knowledge that Whitebeard Pirates rarely travelled alone. Especially a commander.

“You sure you wanna do this—”

“Halt, filthy pirate! Your days of piracy are over!” Williams declared boldly. Briefly, you wondered if maybe your superiors had heard about Williams’ behavior and figured sending him after Fire Fist would be the best reprimand he could get.

Even with your help, Williams was a candle-light at the end of the day. And Fire Fist? Fire Fist was a raging wildfire. You could almost feel the heat of his devil fruit in the back of your head. A faint indication that told you just how strong the devil fruits around you are and helped inform you how much power you were giving just by being around them.

Fire Fist looked back at the two of you with a dry, grumpy expression. Curiosity flickering over his features as he took in how amped up Williams was—and how utterly done you were. Fire flickered over his shoulders as he grinned.

“And what is a couple of ensigns going to do about it?” Fire Fist crowed with a mischievous grin, tipping his gaudy, orange cowboy hat back. Williams’ fire flickered over his body, sparks flying harmlessly over you—a welcome side effect of your devil fruit boosting another thankfully—before charging forward.

Three things happened at once.

Williams charged forward to fight Fire Fist. Letting go of your wrist.

His fire flickered slightly from the loss of direct contact with you.

Fire Fist’s own fire flared up at the sudden, unavoidable boost in power.

Confusion washed over Fire Fist as he instinctively noticed the strange change before he dismissed it, charging towards Williams anyway.

You rolled your eyes, pretty sure Williams would get knocked out quickly and leave you with yet another mess to clean up.

A low wine reached your ears, drawing you gaze away from what was mostly an impressive lightshow as Williams kept throwing fire at a man made of fire.

A fat, white dog panted in the shade. Scraggly white fur otherwise clean despite laying in the dirt. A strange, immaculate crescent shaped moustache curved under his nose.

Obviously, between your partner facing a Yonko Commander and a sad dog, your choice of who deserved your attention was clear.

You kneeled down with a smile, pulling out a dog treat from your pocket.

“Hey, cutie, what are you doing? Trying to cool off a little?” You spoke softly, presenting the treat to the very interested dog. You pulled out a bottle from your other pocket and a bowl—specifically for this actually—as you poured some out for the dog. The dog rolled onto his paws and eagerly drank the water, accepting your gentle affection. “You’re definitely not a stray, but you don’t have a collar either. Where are you from, baby?”

Fire and explosions rocked the area behind you. Not that you cared since the civilians ran the minute Williams and Fire Fist lit up. You scratched the surprisingly soft fur and ran your hand down the dog’s back. They were definitely well cared for, whoever they belonged to. Once they were done drinking water they eagerly wriggled into your lap for affection, licking and nipping at your chin.

“Oof! My, what a cutie you are!” You cheered, playfully ruffling the dog’s ears and booping his wet nose as you avoided the eager kisses.

Williams definitely screamed behind you in panic.

“Help me, you useless—SHIT!”

Without looking you yelled back.

“I thought you were supposed to be a ‘real marine’?” You lowered your voice when the dog whined and kissed his nose as an apology. “Sorry, baby. He’s just been an ass all week and I think he could really learn something today. What could a ‘useless marine’ do anyway, hm? I told him he needs to watch it.” You grumbled softly. The pull of a third devil fruit registering to your senses suddenly.

Having been around Williams all week as he showed off was exhausting. Now actively pulling on your power along with Fire Fist and this new person actively made you want to take a nap.

You had yet to figure out how to lessen your own power or at least focus on only one person, so you simply had to deal with it when actively boosting someone from a distance. Part of you worried that boosting stronger devil fruits was going to be even more exhausting than the weak ones you’ve encountered so far. And you might actually be right about that.

“There you are, Stefan. Oyaji was looking for you.” Someone spoke up above you. You startled, looking up at the stranger.

Open-toed sandals and capris with an open purple shirt exposing defined abs and a purple Whitebeard Jolly Roger. The man looked down at you with amused blue eyes narrowed, blond hair poking out from the top of an extreme undercut.

Marco ‘The Phoenix’.

Welp, that’s definitely your sign to run. Casually. So, he doesn’t suspect anything.

Something told you that your bosses would be pissed if the Whitebeard Pirates got a free power boost by ransoming you. If they gave up the obvious benefits of such a prisoner to begin with.

“Oop. Time to go, baby.” You kissed Stefan’s head and darted away, running directly towards the very explosive fight between Fire Fist and Williams. Snagging the back of his collar as you kept going.

“HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU USELESS—”

“The Phoenix and Fire Fist are here—we definitely can’t take them both in. Time to go!” You explained as you ran.

“No! I can do it! What do you know, you useless bitch?!” Williams flailed, breaking your grip on his shirt before slamming his fist into your face. Heat and a crunch of bones sent shockwaves of red and blood across your vision, sending you to the ground with a yelp. Your glasses bouncing off from impact and cracking.

“Fuck!” You hissed, clutching your nose as you blindly looked around, tears falling down your cheeks. You could make out an impressive explosion of fire somewhere ahead of you through your tears and poor vision. A wobbly white blob trotting up to your side with a low wine and bark. What was probably Stefan licking your arm and pawing at your side in worry.

Steady footsteps clacked along the paved street, a dark shadow falling before you as fire exploded behind the figure.

“That was quite a hit. You alright?” The Phoenix asked as he lowered down suddenly. Glass scrapped against the ground. Your glasses were gently lowered onto your face, bringing him into focus with a hairline fracture and tears obscuring your vision somewhat.

“’M fine—not the first time he’s done that--!” You gasped as his fingertips brushed over your knuckled grasp on your bloody nose. Blue fire exploded around you as the various aches and pains were swept away in an instant. Dizziness rushed to your head at the sudden relief.

You almost broke contact as The Phoenix cursed his sudden, uncontrollable fire, falling back to the ground. But his hands were faster and firmly grasped your shoulders.

After several, bizarrely euphoric moments of bathing in the healing flame, The Phoenix wrangled his powers back under control with a grimace. Blood still covered your hands and face but the injury, as well as any other injury, was gone. He looked at you in surprise and you could only gape up at him.

Having established physical contact, any boost others experienced was gone in an instant. Your ‘pseudo-immunity’ to devil fruits meant that your body essentially acted like it was your power as well. And that meant you got to enjoy a small taste in what it was like to have a devil fruit like The Phoenix’s for as long as he maintained that contact. It was weirdly heady. Sort of freeing to feel your weakness being eaten away under the healing influence of his devil fruit.

Almost to the point of forgetting that this, quite critically, meant that your under-powered partner was royally fucked.

Williams barely stood a chance if you had held his hand through the fight. Without any assistance against Fire Fist Ace, it wasn’t even a question. As much of an ass as he was, he didn’t deserve to be killed.

Worried, you tried to look around The Phoenix to see what was happening. He clicked his tongue, pulling your chin back to look at him. His eyes were narrowed and suspicious, a strange light in his eyes as he gave you a small, chilling smile.

“Now, who are you and what was that?” The Phoenix demanded. You shuddered, noticing how oddly quiet it was behind the pirate.

“M-My devil fruit! It—uhm—affects other devil fruits?” You lamely explained as Stefan tried to nose his way onto your lap. You would have preferred to look at the cute, needy dog, but The Phoenix looked like he was about to eat you. “Makes… makes them stronger around me. O-Or just… touching.”

A cold chill went up your spine as he grinned.

“And you’re not assigned to at least an admiral at all times? What a waste… I guess the marines don’t want to keep you that badly, do they?” He clicked his tongue again. “Well, you’re in good hands now, yoi. Let’s get you cleaned up. Stefan! Down!” He ordered, lifting you over his shoulder as you yelped, scrambling to hold onto your glasses. The town was wrecked behind The Phoenix, Fire Fist cheerily skipping up with Williams over his own shoulder.

“Hey, Marco! Did you see how weird that was!? What do you think his devil fruit is?” Fire Fist asked. The Phoenix turned around with a huff.

“Put the marine down. Got the source right here.” He responded.

“Oh! I take it we’re keeping them? Think Oyaji will mind?”

The Phoenix snorted.

“Oyaji will be ecstatic. Marines don’t know how to take care of people right, anyway.” You were jostled lightly as he started walking, Stefan trotting behind while panting happily up at you. You were horrified and nervous, but the addition of Stefan was helping ease your nerves. “They can boost devil fruits but wasn’t assigned to an admiral, can you believe that? Just a weakling. Imagine if it was someone else that found them, yoi?” You struggled to push yourself up, but was aware that you weren’t getting down unless The Phoenix let you.

Unlike Williams, you knew your limits.

“Hah! Wow. At least Gramps could have trained them up safely. Marines are stupid though, so I can’t say I’m too surprised.” Fire fist declared. Boots stomped on the ground as Fire Fist rounded The Phoenix, poking his head to look at you with a charming grin. “Don’t worry, you’re going to love it here! Ah… and no one will do this again.” Fire Fist grabbed your hands, inspecting the blood and what was still smeared around your nose. His eyes dark with promise as you stared in horror.

Were you being kidnapped for your power or… something else? Because to be honest, it sure didn’t sound like they were too interested in your own devil fruit ability.

[fantasiasworld]

Soo and Nari (Soori)

(Nari, left) (Soo, right)

art piece I commissioned from @dacquoisettes (thank you so much again!! they look so beautiful 💞💞)

Overview

Soo and Nari’s relationship can only be described in one word and one word only: messy.

Soo is so paranoid about everything and everyone, she barely trust the people in her own group let alone someone else in a whole different group. Soo is basically like a skittish scared cat who sinks her claws onto everybody who gets too closed, she’s very paranoid and would often jump to the worst conclusion about somebody even if they have done nothing to show that they’re unloyal or deserving of a wild assumption that she made up about them.

Nari, on the other hand, is known to be very pushy and provocative, she loves seeing people start to lose control because of her words or actions. She just keeps pushing and pushing until someone finally snaps and for the better part of her and Soo’s relationship that was an easy feat to do.

Nari found out very quickly that Soo was going to form her own judgements, her own opinion and assumptions about her character, regardless of whether they were based on reality or not. Once Soo decides that you’re a threat to her then it’s very hard to change her mind, so Nari sees no point in trying to convince Soo that she means no ill will or that she has bad intentions because ultimately Soo doesn’t want to hear it and therefore Nari decides “if she’s going to think the worst of me anyways why won’t I play into it?”

Fairy Tales

Yeah, their relationship is by far from picture perfect but although they have their own flaws individually and may bring out the worst of each other, Soo and Nari do make a pretty good team and are pretty compatible when they’re aren’t arguing or throwing digs at one another.

Nari’s fairy tale derives from Little Red Riding Hood whilst Soo fairy tale derives from The Little Mermaid. Little Red Riding Hood was tricked by the Big Bad Wolf into thinking he was her poor sick grandma and was later eaten by the wolf. The Little Mermaid sold her voice for legs to the Sea Witch, thinking the Sea Witch had her best interest at heart and later was betrayed by her.

Both of their fairy tales consist of two gullible and naive young woman who thought the best of people and inevitably got the short end of the stick because of it. And while Soo’s and Nari’s version of the story didn’t end in a gruesome death, it didn’t end in a happily ever after either.

For one, unlike in the popular told story of the Little Mermaid, Soo was actually banished and exiled from the Sea Kingdom due to her vast interest of humans and the human world (and also her alleged affair with the Sea Witch but that’s a whole other post in itself-), and was thrown into the human world having no idea what to expect or what she’s getting into and it ultimately caused her a buttload of trust issues and why she’s so jaded and paranoid at the world.

Similarly, Nari has her own experience of having someone robbing her of her innocence and her naivety being taken advantaged of. Although, the origin of her fairy tale has derailed so much from what actually happened (and it kinda amazes Nari how humans can go so off from the original source material but that’s neither here or there!), she understands the act of having her youth taking from her even after she escaped the clutches from the Big Bad Wolf, it’s still something that she deals with and struggles to this day.

In a sense, they both understand what it feels like to be so young and trusting of the world and being so filled with curiosity, just as much as they understand how quickly things can take a turn for the worst because of it. They find reconciliation and understanding in each other since they both went through similar experiences, however, it’s because of those similarities that they don’t fully trust one another.

Dynamics

They’re dynamic is very push and pull, sometimes they’re at each others throats and other times they’re at each others door begging for forgiveness. It’s exhausting yet kind of entertaining for everybody to bare witness because they never know what’s going to happen next.

Nari is entertained by Soo, she thinks her angry outburst that mostly are directed at Nari’s expense are quite funny and often pushes her button to get her to react. Soo, in turn, always takes bait though whether it’s because she’s actually annoyed at Nari’s antics or is actually amused and just playing along for the bit is still ip in the air.

What’s interesting to Nari though is how Soo is completely different person when she’s not yelling at her. For one, Soo is a bit standoffish to everybody else and puts on a cold exterior and doesn’t let anyone ever get too close to her. The difference between how Soo treats Nari vs how Soo treats the rest of the Colorful members is very apparent and noticeable to everybody (well expect Soo), and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Nari that she’s the only one Soo lets her guard down around. It both makes her feel prideful to see a side of Soo that most people would never see yet nervous all the same (though Nari would admit that part).

And on the flip side, Soo can’t help but be attracted and intrigued by Nari, almost the same way she was attracted to Ophelia. As much as she hates to admit, there’s still a sense of curiosity lingering inside of her. She can’t help but be pulled in by challenging things and Nari is the most challenging person she has ever met.

Soo never knows what Nari is thinking or what her motives are and she so desperately wants to figure it out, wants to figure Nari out. That thought both excites and scares her because she doesn’t want to get hurt again by another person she likes, yet doesn’t have the heart to let her go so she’s kind of stuck in this weird limbo not knowing what to do or where to go but all she knows is that she doesn’t want to do it alone.

[journeyforthepublic]

My mind is ridiculous....

One thing I was never told about or thought about when it comes to breakups is the fact that, while hindsight is 20/20 an you're looking back and realizing how horrible this person treated you, and how your first love never actually loved you back. Your brain will still randomly give you flashbacks of the times when things were actually beautiful, and you felt happy. Even if it didn't ever last very long, and you start to miss that person that did everything they possibly could to hurt you. It's really sick and twisted to be honest. But my ex isn't the topic for today's post just had to get that thought off my chest. But, has anyone else had it happen to them where nothing traumatic happened in your childhood (birth-12 years old) but you for some reason can't remember much of your childhood? Because same (although mine could be due to drugs and alcohol that's a story for another time). I remember very random bits and pieces and stories I've heard from family will spark memories sometimes, but more times than not someone will tell me a story and I'll have absolutely no recollection of it. My therapist told me that when you're going through tough times like I am right now and you're trying to get back to yourself it helps to remember a time when you felt happy, content, and good in your own skin and do what you were doing at that time again. The reason why I brought that up is because even though specific childhood memories feel foreign to me, the one thing I do vividly remember is how unapologetically myself I was at that time. Before people's opinions meant anything to me, before I even knew what it meant to be "too girly", before I knew that people's judgement was even a thing to consider. I miss that version of me, I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment when I lost that person and go back and make sure it never happens. The voice that I was born with and the confidence that I radiated has been so deeply lost inside of me that I don't even know how to find it again. The thought of looking in the mirror and loving what I see, or hearing myself talk and not thinking that I'm doing nothing but annoying everyone around me feels so foreign. I wish parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, understood how much their words mean to a kid that looks up to them. I can barely remember my childhood, but I remember every time that I was told "boys don't stand like that", "boys don't talk like that", "boys don't play with those kinds of toys." If I was told from the beginning that whoever I am, and whoever I like is okay I think my life would've turned out much differently. But instead, I started to feel like I had to tone myself down or adapt to the people around me to make them happy rather than be happy myself. Other people's happiness was always more important than mine. And now that I find myself trying to discover myself again, breaking that habit and prioritizing my own happiness makes me feel guilty. On top of that I don't think I even know what would truly make me happy. I want to be happy, so bad. But what is happiness?

[priestessrosery]

Hiiiii!Priestess here!it's my 1st time writing for the Tears of Themis fandom heheheheh pls enjoy!And yes,this doesn't have plot as it is,in fact,a crack fic or at least in my opinion lol😂

Tw:Swearing,Mentions of digesting rocks,fatigued men and women ahead.

Crack Fic/Drabble

Team NXX was in the middle of an investigation when Rosa pulls a shady ball that looks like a rock from her bag and takes a bite out of it.The investigation is being held at the ass crack of dawn.

And now,as we all know,everyone- I mean almost everyone goes on a berserk mode when waken up so darn early in the morning especially when the sudden awakening had caused you to fall down the wrong side of the bed which happened to be the side of the bed with no carpet which also caused you to,in a sense,kiss the floor.

And now you're probably wondering how this is so strangely accurate.Well,truth is,Rosa experienced everything,in that same order.

So when she received a text message saying there was going to be an investigation and that her presence was required,*breathes in* *holds it* Rosa responds to the text saying she's OTWw.

(Btw,this is my version of Rosa heheh,just a little teeny tiny bit of change.Maybe not but,come on!It's a crack fic for a reason.)

Mind you,Rosa has her own meaning for this particular slang.And the extra W was definitely not a typo.

It means "On the way to water."

Meaning she was on the way to the shower.

And now I think I went off rail somewhere there anyways,let's go back to that rock looking ball at the start.

Said ball did not go unnoticed by the ever so nosy- I mean,observant,Von Hagen.

Not the father but the second son.

"Miss,are you so hungry that you ended up eating a rock?"

Marius said in a surprisingly concerned and serious tone that it was almost suspicious.

But then again,if he wasn't being frank,he would have said something along the lines of "You should have told me you were hungry!I could get you a whole restaurant reserved if you want!"

But Rosa hadn't had enough of chocolate intake yet so she wasn't ready to dogshow the piece of shi- I mean shit so early in the morning,y'know?

So she says,

"Yeah,I am.so what."

And casually walks away leaving the piece of shit astounded.

Marius was like,

'WHATTTTTTTTTT?????'

Rosa takes Marius's silence as a signal that he finally realized his question was incredibly stupid and already realized what the hell she was eating.But,said Von Hagen is known to always go belo- beyond your expectations.

So as she runs around talking to Captain Morgan and the others Marius's gaze follows her around.Something the attorney didn't fail to notice.

"What,do you need to say anything?You've been staring at me for a while.Do you have something to say?"

"Miss.....are you okay?"

"What."

Was all Rosa could muster.Because,as far as she knows,she doesn't feel anything unusual and uncomfy.

Seeing Rosa's visual confusion,Marius shouts,

"VYNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!ARTEMMMMM!LUKEEEEEE!GET OVER HERE!SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MISSSSSSSSS-!"

And the other men who heard their names being called so unceremoniously so darn early in the morning almost wanted to strangle Marius for being sooo loud but after hearing "Rosa" and "Wrong" in the same sentence,they all but rushed to her sides to bombard her with questions.

Artem,her senior,was particularly worried that she hadn't gotten any sleep yet as he knows how she is sometimes.

Luke,her childhood friend,was worried that she accidentally bashed someone's head in hard cement because they soured her mood and because it's so damn early.

And Vyn,her very special friend-

(I am biased towards Vyn,okay?)

Was worried her senior gave her one too many cases and fieldwork to handle that she barely had enough rest,oh,his poor rose.

And here is Marius freaking out telling everyone he saw Rosa eating a rock out of hunger and fatigue.

"Are you quite certain that this is not one of your measly attempts at-"

My baby- I mean the doctor gets cut off by the super rude annoyin- I mean his lovely student freaking out saying,

"Miss was eating rocks,okay!?I saw it!She even confirmed it!"

"Rosa,is that true?"

Artem decides to break off the cycle of confusion and misunderstanding definitely not because he thinks he's gonna strangle the tutor and his student for being so loud and rude so early in the morning.

"No.I wasn't."

Everyone then looks and glares at the poor annoyin- cute puppy🐶.

"Hey!I definitely saw you!If what you were eating,isn't a rock then,what is it!?"

Marius defends as he crosses his arms in an attempt to go cutely say 'hmmmmph!' he wasn't cute.At least in the doctor's perspective.And mine.Kiddding!Lol😂........or am I?

"Marius,that wasn't a rock!It's tablea!"

Rosa exclaims feeling immensely offended by the claim.

"Ooooooohhhhh."

Luke breaks the awkward atmosphere.

"I remember!Grandma sent you those,yea?"

"She did."

Rosa confirms.

"What.That still doesn't answer my question."

Marius stubbornly claims.

"Marius,not to be rude or anything but,have you eaten anything yet?Because it seems like it's you who who needs to eat and sleep."

"Hey!I know that and for your information,I did eat and sleep.Answer my question!"

"It's tableya.It's chocolate used to make porridge.It came from cacao and was made to be the shape of a ball.How's that?

Or do you need me to write you a thesis defense?"

Rosa sarcastically rolls her eyes.

"Oh."

Silence ensued.

Luke was confused whether he should laugh or not because he's so tired that he can no longer read the room like everyone else.Artem was clueless.He doesn't know what the hell just happened in front of him.And no,it's not because of the foolishness of the event.He's tired too,fatigued if you would say.

And Vyn,was to say, at the very least,is holding himself from laughing like a crazed maniac a)because he's also fatigued.He just went to sleep a few minutes before his presence was deemed to be required in the investigation.b)because he finds it incredibly amusing to make a fool out of the piece of shit.c)He also actually knew what "the rock looking ball" was from the start.Because just yesterday,Rosa asked him if he wanted to come over so she could teach him how to make 'champorado' since he's always the one doing the teaching.And she also happened to mention the tableya in their conversation.

Rosa walks away and the other fatigued men follow her suit like some ducklings following their mother.Leaving the piece of shit- I mean the Von Hagen alone to ponder how the hell he just made himself to look the fool.In front of everyone.Including Rosa.No one's going to let this one slide,especially Rosa.He sighs thinking of the countless ways Rosa ft. Luke and Vyn would remind him of this moment.

They will never let me live this one down.Ever.

[tsumtsumland]

“can’t help falling in love with you”| m.atsumu x reader

genre: fluff, sickly sweet romance

warnings: none

author’s note: this is a compilation of a few drabbles I wrote for one of my events, I just cleaned them up a bit and decided to post them as a one shot. Happy Birthday Atsumu!

A loud chime signifies 12pm and a frustrated growl leaves the faux blonde’s mouth. He glances at the antique grandfather clock on the wall and his fingers resume their wrestling with the bow tie hanging loosely around his neck. He grumbles quietly, refusing to accept that he should’ve just listened to you and gotten the clip-on ones. No, he wanted to do this right. Everything Atsumu was passionate about, he did with the utmost dedication, and this was no exception.

In all his life, he’s sure he’s never been as passionate about anything as he is about you (volleyball is a very close second). He huffs in annoyance when he tries again and the bow just does not budge, it looks sad, and droopy. He plops down on a chair in the room, trying to calm his thoughts. His hands are a bit sweaty, and he narrowly avoids running them through his hair and ruining it. That’s never happened before… he idly wonders why.

Osamu can’t help the amused smirk on his face while watching his twin struggle with the piece of fabric around his neck. He knows exactly what the problem is, but he also knows his brother is too stubborn to ever admit it… that he’s nervous. He strides over to the blonde version of himself, and grabs the tie around his neck, startling Atsumu.

“Hey! I can do—"

“Shut up, Tsumu,” he bites back, leaving no room for argument. His fingers expertly weave the piece of silk into the perfect bow. “There,” he mutters, and dusts a piece of lint off the black suit jacket. Atsumu is quiet, but he can see the gratitude in his eyes.

“Learn to accept help sometimes, Tsumu, you don’t have to do everything yourself,” are his parting words as he leaves the room.

Atsumu is frozen for a moment, before a fond smile breaks out on his face. He knows his twin means that in more ways than one, and he remembers similar words coming from you, his beloved, after a particularly brutal game in the first season you’d started working for MSBY. He was exhausted, and angry, after a nasty defeat, his fingernails bleeding, and knuckles bruised.

“It’s okay to accept help sometimes, it doesn’t make you weak or incapable,” you’d said softly as you held his calloused hands in your own soft ones, wiping away the blood carefully.

He thinks maybe that’s one of the first moments he realized he was in love with you.

Sitting in a room for too long before an event like this is bound to drive anyone insane, especially someone who thrives on being active. It’s 1pm now and Atsumu decides to take a walk, just to calm his thoughts down a bit. His feet lead him straight to the main hall, one you’d both chosen together. Your tastes weren’t so different, but you did have a bit of a difficult time choosing a venue, until this one. It was perfect.

He glances around the room, the crystal chandeliers you’d chosen hung decadently from the ceiling, reflecting on every glassy surface. It was all opulent, but not overdone. He wasn’t big on flowers and couldn’t understand for one minute why in the world they were so expensive, they’re flowers for crying out loud! His fingers reach out to touch one of the delicate, blush-colored petals of the centerpiece, and it takes him back to another time with you.

He thinks of the moment you walked into the flower shop to choose these very same flowers, and all he could see was you. Surrounded by so much beauty, yet you put it all to shame.

“I hope you’re not thinking of running away,” comes a stern voice that was all too familiar to him.

Atsumu bristles, and a short chuckle escapes him as he turns to face the only other woman he felt any real affection for, apart from you.

“I’ve never run away from anything mom,” he grins at her.

“That’s my boy,” she smiles, pride shining in her eyes.

His father comes to stand next to her, and leans over to pat his shoulder, “I hope you enjoyed your last few days of freedom, son,” he laughs when his wife glares and hits him.

Atsumu nods, he looks at his parents and wonders if that will be you and him in the future, the fluttering in his stomach tells him that he wants it to be. He remembers the day he brought you home to meet them. You were so nervous, and he’d only told them that he was bringing someone over. They assumed it was just a friend, because prior to that he hadn’t ever brought a serious girlfriend home, so the thought didn’t cross their minds.

They weren’t prepared for the way he looked at you, or the change in his rough demeanor when he held your hand and introduced you to them, stumbling over his words a little. If you were a little more aware in the moment, instead of trying to maintain your sanity, you would’ve noticed the sparkle in his mother’s eyes and the knowing look in his father’s as they looked at you two. It didn’t take them more than an hour into the dinner to give you both their seal of approval. They knew instantly that you were the one, and so did he.

“You’ll do fine, Tsumu,” his mother’s words are gentle and honest. They put him at ease.

…wise men say, only fools rush in…

Atsumu’s fidgeting stops, and he’s eerily still as the doors open. The moment his eyes fall on you, he feels like the breath’s been stolen right out of his lungs. You’re stunning, and all he can focus on is how you seem to shine brighter than the hundreds of twinkling lights that cover the ceiling and arches of the room.

…some things are meant to be…

It feels like every moment of his life has been building him up for this very one. Atsumu knows he’s not the best man in the world, he’s rough, and many think he’s rude, but he’s never cared for others’ opinions…until the moment he met you. You made him want to be a better version of himself. It goes without saying that he believes you will always be the better half, but he’d like to think that he’s deserving of your light.

…take my hand…

Tea lights in glass holders, and flower petals, illuminate the pathway to your soon-to-be husband, and you take a deep breath when you lock eyes with him. He’s dashing in his tux, his golden hair and eyes highlighted under the canopy of blush peonies and fairy lights at the end of the aisle. He looks like a prince right out of a fairytale. He’d definitely laugh if he heard you say that out loud, and you have to bite back a laugh at the thought of that conversation.

Atsumu isn’t sure how it happened until his vision is blurred, and he’s struggling a little to catch his breath, all he knows is that you’re there and you’re so beautiful, and he can’t imagine it being anyone else. He remembers now nervous he was on the night he proposed to you at the top of the Tokyo Skytree. The way your eyes lit up, and how the city lights paled in comparison to the radiance of your smile as you squealed a “yes!”

It’s barely visible but as you get closer, you see it, the wetness on his cheeks it’s so rare that it happens, that you notice. A wave of emotion hits you so strongly that you almost go weak in the knees.

…take my whole life too…

The look of absolute devotion, and pure love in his eyes is visible to everyone in the room, especially to you.

…For I can’t help falling in love with you…

[ohblackdiamond]

kiss and homoeroticism

You wanted the essay, you got the essay. 

Disclaimer: Please remember, cynical as it is, that KISS has always been into portraying particular images of themselves, and can and will change with the times and what they perceive as showcasing  what they feels is the appropriate message/depiction. I’m not saying they’re never sincere, but, well, I’d take most of what they say with a grain of salt. And I say this for every single one of the original guys. They are all chronic exaggerators and often embellishers, and no showman worth his salt has ever let the truth get in the way of a good story. It’s all about perception.

There’s more of a focus on Paul here than anyone else and I do apologize for that; I just know more about him so he’s much easier to point out for an essay like this. 

Calling this something like “times KISS has directly tried to court the LGBT audience” may, sadly, be a little bit of a stretch and a little too inclusive-- what they were mostly courting was the gay male audience. But let’s start with some stuff that’s definitive and, well, devolve from there. This one got away from me a bit. All opinions are my own.

*Bill Aucoin, their first manager, and his boyfriend, Sean Delaney, were gay. There’s a joke here about how despite everything this is the only real way KISS ever emulated their heroes the Beatles (having a gay manager), but that’s beneath me. Bill and Sean were out as far as the band and its associates went (and as far as their area of the music industry/celebrity went), but not as far as the general public was concerned. This was not remotely uncommon for the time period. All band members were cool with it and Bill and Sean would sometimes take the band to gay bars. All this to say that KISS was not unfamiliar with the gay scene at all.

*Their very first outfits that weren’t courtesy their moms’ sewing machines had their initial inspirations in, of course, the glam rock genre (KISS was one of, if not the last group to make it big in glam rock), but also in the leather subculture and S&M. This influence starts to fade out from tour to tour, but is probably most evident, I’d say, in Peter’s first real costume.

*Their stage moves-- specifically the KISS sway, and Ace dropping to his knees while Gene and Paul do the sway-- are courtesy Sean Delaney. Does it look cool for three guys to be synchronizing their movements while playing guitar? Yeah. Does it simulate oral sex? Yes. Was that their intent? Yes. There are a handful of concert clips where they go even farther with it (here is Gene simulating oral on Paul , and the second gif is Paul doing the same with Ace/Ace’s guitar). I want to emphasize that they’re not the only band at the time that did things like this, and I also want to emphasize that, again, image is everything to KISS and they absolutely enjoyed doing this for shock value and to play themselves up as “transgressive,” subversive, and dangerous. (No, I don’t know why or when Gene started licking Ace and later Tommy; I don’t think Sean can be credited with that stage move-- I feel like Gene just saw Ace’s bare neck one horny evening and went for it, and Ace either didn’t mind or at least dug it enough that it just became a thing.) But it’s also intentionally erotic.

*Photoshoots-- Hotter than Hell and the White Room sessions are the main culprits people point to (and again, it’s worth noting that everyone in the Hotter than Hell session besides Gene is drunk, and everyone in the White Room session besides Gene is high), but there are plenty of other press photos where the guys are posing, humping, etc.

*Marketing-- I’ve said this before, but Paul in particular was marketed as bisexual (I hate that this needs to be said, but I am only speaking of his marketing and not his actual identification.), even in goofier stuff like the fake KISS bios put out for kids. Paul even admits that his note to the fans in Alive is deliberately gender non-specific in order to appeal to as wide a range of people as possible. 

*Paul’s 1989 Playgirl article-- Playgirl’s main readership was gay men rather than straight women. While the interviewer for his article is a woman, Paul’s also really aware of the magazine’s primary demographic, and talks about losing friends to AIDS. (This is not me casting doubt on him having lost friends to AIDS at all, but I don’t think he would’ve mentioned it in a “straight” publication, especially not during that time period, when knowledge about AIDS, its communicability, etc., wasn’t what it is now at all, treatments were limited to nonexistent, and homophobia ran very rampant.) He really plays up to the interviewer and the whole thing comes off like a more mature, nuanced version of his feature articles from ten years prior, sort of portraying himself as this put-together, thoughtful, sweet rockstar that’s so different from his image and wants to settle down-- he’s selling the rockstar boyfriend fantasy.

*You can argue plenty of ways for the general antics of Gene, Paul, Ace, and Peter in particular during interviews. Ace tends to like to touch the other guys on the arm/thigh/whatever’s around. Gene hits on female and male interviewers without really skipping a beat. Sometimes the whole band starts hitting on each other. Gene jokes about his and Paul’s secret relationship and makes rather forthright statements. In KISS’ most infamous interview, Tom Snyder makes a pass at Ace, and Ace, inebriated, reciprocates (”I’ve got a little piece of pipe backstage I’d like you to work on...” “Tell me about it!”).  Again, I’m not going to make any statements on any of their actual sexualities-- that’s not what this is about; these are real people. I’m only focusing on what’s being projected. whether it’s just meant as a joke to throw people off, envelope-pushing, or on occasion an appeal to their gay fans, it’s quite frequent. Ace and Peter are referring to their sexual relationship over here, though, for what that’s worth. 

[rosesgonerogue]

I didn’t so much fall in love- It kicked me in the face Chapter Three

The Wayne Manor was exactly what Marinette had come to expect after years of knowing famous people. It was expertly decorated, but it had an almost somber feel to it - it matched Gotham’s general aesthetic. 

Also meeting expectations was the Wayne family itself. Marinette had done her homework, taking hours to research each member long before setting foot in Gotham. It was clear that they had been warned to behave, but chaos still bubbled beneath their calm facades, she could see it in their eyes. 

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, allow me to introduce you to Masters Bruce, Richard, Jason, Timothy, and Damian.” 

Marinette nodded to each in turn, her hand unconsciously tightening on Leo’s. She took a steadying breath. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and this is my son Leo. If you’re interested, I made some macarons for you, as I do for most meetings with my clients.” She set the box on the coffee table. “I would recommend eating them in the next day or so.” 

Tim looked like he was going to faint, and it was then that Marinette noticed the harsh bruise on his jaw - almost like he’d gotten kicked. Surely it had to be a coincidence, there was no way… 

Damian huffed, and the entire family seemed to stiffen. When he spoke, his words were sharp, acidic. “You’re meant to be a seamstress, not a baker. Besides, what kind of professional brings a child to a business meeting? Is his father too worthless to watch him?” 

Everyone in the room froze, and Marinette could feel the warmth drain out of her. She felt eerily similar to when Tikki used ice powers, in fact. There was no way for her to know, but when she spoke, Marinette’s words carried the weight of an avalanche. 

“You yourself are legally a child sitting in on a business meeting, Monsieur Wayne, and I did not object to it because I trust your father to parent you how he sees fit. I could explain to you that other than myself, my only options for Leo’s care are my parents, who are busy preparing for my mother’s surgery while running the most successful bakery in Paris, or my friends, who are all dealing with professional lives of their own. I could explain that, but I shouldn’t have to, because he is my son, and I will raise him as I see fit. And I’m a fashion designer, not a seamstress. This isn’t the seventeenth century.” She paused, staring the offender down. “Do you have any further objections, Monsieur Wayne?” 

A small part of her glowed in satisfaction when Damian ducked his head. “Do as you must.” She missed the way that Tim blinked owlishly, exchanging surprised looks with Dick.

Instead she straightened her jacket, murmuring a few comforting words to Leo before finally letting his hand go. “I prefer getting to know my clients before I actually begin, it helps me make the perfect piece. Does some-”

“I’ll be first,” Jason said, shoving Dick out of the way.

“Perfect. If you’ll come this way, Monsieur Todd, we can sit…”

*************

The satisfied look on Jason’s face was more than a little disconcerting to Tim. He didn’t really feel like hearing the woman who’d occupied his mind for the past day, so he turned his attention elsewhere. He still needed to come to terms with the fact that she had gone head to head with Damian and come out on top after all.

Leo was scrutinizing one of the paintings on the wall, a tiny version of MDC herself. He had the same dark hair, light freckles on pale skin, and wide blue eyes…

No. Please no. Tim glanced subtly at Bruce. Surely he wouldn’t try to adopt either parts. Marinette was an adult with two living parents, and Leo had Marinette, so they were safe, right? 

Regardless, that would be an issue for another time. Tim found himself crouching next to Leo. “That painting is of Monsieur Bruce’s parents,” he said in French. 

The child switched his soulful eyes to Tim’s face, his expression serious. “You know French.” 

“Yes, I really like languages, so I learned as many as I could,” Tim said, resisting the urge to ruffle the boy’s hair. “Your name is Leo, right?” 

“Yes, Monsieur.” 

“You can call me Tim. Are you enjoying Gotham so far?” 

Leo thought hard for a moment. “Maman and I had a lot of fun today, but yesterday was a little scary, the way it sometimes gets in Paris.” 

He desperately wanted to ask Leo more about the scary things in Paris, but it wasn’t fair to ask a child. Instead, Tim let the boy pull him around the parlor, asking questions about anything he found even remotely interesting. 

“And that is the trophy Dick, my oldest brother, got for gymnastics in seventh grade,” Tim explained, hefting the boy higher up so he could see the object in question more clearly. “That’s the ribbon Jason got for a creative writing contest, and Damian’s martial arts trophy. A couple of these belong to Bruce…” 

Leo stared at the glass case like it would afford him the answers to the universe before looking up to Tim’s face. “Where are your trophies?” 

“What?” 

“Everyone else has trophies. Where are yours?” 

“That’s… I mean, I have some, I just didn’t think they were very important,” Tim said with a shrug. 

“But families should be together,” Leo said with wide, unblinking eyes. “That’s why I wanted to come with Maman, even though it made your brother be mean to her.” 

Tim smiled, pushing down the barrage of emotions fighting within him. “You’re right, you’re absolutely right. Your Maman is a very smart lady.” 

“Maman is the smartest,” Leo said solemnly. 

“You must be right again,” Tim said conspiratorially. “She’s also the best at making clothes.” 

The boy’s face didn’t change in the least, there wasn’t a trace of a smile, but he slowly patted Tim’s cheek. “I like you.” 

“That’s high praise.” 

TIm golted, his cheeks flooding with color when he found himself next to Marinettte. She was smiling kindly when she said, “Thank you for watching Leo, that really wasn’t necessary. But I didn’t know you spoke French. That’s very impressive, Mr. Drake.”

“Call me Tim, please. And you’ve caught me, I have a deep love of languages. It’s helped in this position, though,” he said with a smile. “Business transactions are a lot easier when you don’t need a translator.” 

“I’ve also found that to be true,” Marinette said, lips quirked. “It’s finally your turn for your consultation. We can do it with or without Leo, whatever you would prefer.” 

“Leo and I are friends now, of course I would need his opinion!” Tim said, just barely noticing that he was still holding the child. “After all, I need his help making sure that I have the best suit at the entire Wayne Gala.” 

That actually coaxed a smile out of the boy, and the resemblance between him and his mother had never been stronger. Marinette looked surprised, but her eyes were warm. “A lot of designers despair over men’s fashion, you know. People lash out whenever you stray too far from the traditional designs, and no one can really reinvent the suit. While it doesn’t let us exercise as much creativity and freedom as women’s fashion, I actually love things like this. Men’s suits are all about attention to detail - how I can work to show your personality in an appropriate but memorable manner. Do you have any specific requests?” 

Against his will, Tim felt his face heat up, doubtlessly turning as red as his vigilante suit. “I fully admit that I was the one who originally commissioned you. I even had to fight Damian. And yet, I haven’t thought about the specifics of what I might want until now.” 

Thankfully, Marinette laughed. “You’d be surprised at how often that happens. That’s perfectly fine. I just didn’t want to leave out anything you desperately wanted. Do you have a specific color for your suit in mind?” 

“Black?” Tim asked helplessly. “I’ve followed your career for a long time, Mademoiselle, but that doesn’t mean that I know anything about fashion. I just know that your fashion seems… magical.” 

Marinette’s lips quirked upwards, a knowing sparkle in her eyes. “That’s an interesting comment. I have a proposal for you, Timothy Drake. If you have any pressing requests I will include them, but I want to keep yours a surprise.” 

Tim swallowed, completely unprepared to deal with the sparkle in her eyes. “I trust you.”

“The exterior is going to be a neutral color because you’re a business man who needs to keep up appearances. That means the most fun we’ll get to have is with the lining. Any opinions?” Marinette asked. “I only bring it up because it’s the most flexible part.” 

“I don’t know, I think all of my suit linings are black or gray,” Tim said, slightly distressed. 

Leo stared him down with serious eyes before saying, “Maman, the inside needs to be red. Ladybug red.” 

“Ladybug? You want me to look like a beetle?” Tim asked. 

Marinette smiled slightly at his comment, but her eyes were fixed on her son. “Are you sure, mon cher? Ladybug red?”

“That’s what he needs,” Leo confirmed. 

Thinking about his brothers’ laughter if he showed up in a polka-dot suit, Tim asked again, “Ladybugs? Are you sure, Leo?” 

“Oh, not the bug,” the fashion designer assured him, finally breaking eye contact with her son. “She tries to keep her existence quiet, but Ladybug is one of Paris’s heroes.” 

“She’s the best hero,” Leo said solemnly. “But you’re nice like she is. You need to have red like she does.” 

There was a strange look in Marinette’s eye that Tim couldn’t quite decipher, but she smiled nonetheless. “You should feel honored. Once someone back in Paris asked me to make something in Ladybug red, and Leo hid the fabric so I had to make it in a slightly different shade. He must really like you.” 

He wanted to say something, anything. Tim had never felt so… he didn’t even know how to describe it. He had spent his life building it into what he had wanted it to be, propping himself up with his accomplishments. He stood alone in his skyscraper, trying to catch up to Bruce and his brothers, but Marinette and Leo had violently dragged him down to the ground, standing outside with everyone. Maybe his family had never been as distant as he thought. 

Or maybe the caffeine withdrawal was finally getting to him.

Taglist: 

@ii-fox-demon @queen-in-a-flower-crown @novaloptr @saphiraazure2708 @iamabrownfox @smolplantmum @redhoodedtoad @loysydark @slytheringinger300 @finallyaniguana @brokenwordsarehard2 @abrx2002 @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @moonlightstar64  @marinettepotterandplagg @black-streak @purplesundaze @maribat-is-lifeblood

Note: 

Damian’s going to be a jerk in this. Beware. 

[doufuhua]

i’m gonna rant a long in-depth opinion about childe’s gameplay, sorry, feel free to ignore, or if you are thinking about pulling for him soon maybe my thoughts can provide insight.

i’m not a metaslave, honestly following meta is dumb in genshin impact, especially when the game is pve, you should enjoy the game the way you want to enjoy it. but, BUT...that being said, with childe banner coming, i have to say he does feel underwhelming to play sometimes. regardless of how much you like his character, the criticisms about his gameplay that people are bringing up have some truth in it. i agree that his kit and constellations need a revamp.

his constellations don’t provide dmg boost but a different playstyle which renders his range stance kind of useless because the constellations favors his melee stance more, hell even his kit favors melee. so in my conclusion, doesn’t it look like the fact that he wields a bow is counterintuitive? he should’ve just wield a spear in the first place if he’s gonna utilize it the most regardless of lore giving a reason why he uses a bow. and there’s the cooldown on his skill, now to me it’s manageable, i don’t have an issue with it, i think it’s a nice challenge to have a time limit, but not everyone thinks my way. actually based on observation, i see that when someone has an initial interest in childe’s gameplay, when they find out that his skill has a time limit, they give up, they just don’t want to bother, which is just a mentality thing unfortunately.

his constellations are i think a great example of how scummy mihoyo can be, they really gave him lackluster constellations at the top, c1 really only shaves off 4 seconds of cooldown and c2 is just...energy recharge....it’s not until c4-c6 does he get something interesting and it’s not more dmg, it’s a different playstyle. it’s obviously a money scheme to entice players to invest in pulling in gacha, it’s nearly predatory. in other words, if you’ve seen his playstyle and you really like it, he requires expensive investment. hu tao at c0 is basically childe’s c4 constellation, it’s pretty unfair. because of hu tao’s kit at c0, childe users feel cheated because his c4 should’ve been his c0.

now, speaking of c4, that is also a separate problem itself, especially if you’re a person who utilizes elemental reactions constantly. everyone knows that vaporize and melt are the strongest reactions in the game, and childe’s c4 has proven to be problematic when it comes to vaporize comps. childe’s c4 ability applies hydro to enemies every few seconds, and on the surface that sounds great, but players with c4 have realized that the comp is difficult to set up because he applies hydro too fast for pyro to take into effect, normally you have to apply pyro and then hydro, not the other way around. you basically sacrifice one playstyle for another, ultimately you have to choose which comp you like more, which is either you play vaporize comp or you pick something like permanent freeze. i don’t even want to get into the fact that, to get rid of the cooldown on his skill requires c6, which to reach that point, you’ll have to whale for it.

i hate to say it but i do feel like childe got powercreeped especially with characters like xiao, ganyu, and hu tao being released right after him, specializing in weapons he uses. ganyu is arguably the better bow user of the two, with her charged attack doing aoe dmg and having huge crit dmg modifiers. xiao’s gimmick is his plunge attacks which hilariously reminds me of the fact that childe’s melee stance has no plunging attack whatsoever. and hu tao...i’ve already said my piece above.

look i don’t hate childe, i actually like his character, maybe not at first, but after his story quest and learning about what he went through at age 14, he seemed like an okay guy. i’ve had him at c1 since version 1.1, he was one of the small amount of dps characters i had at the time who happened to use hydro. i didn’t have diluc, a highly sought for dps unit, at that time, i didn’t have xingqiu, a great support, until last month, i even have mona from losing the 50/50 on some character’s banner, i haven’t even built her yet. childe carried me through all the way up to this point, and yet i still think he can be improved. i’m criticizing mihoyo, which is the point of this post really.

don’t let me keep you from pulling his banner, he is a viable unit. his greatest asset is his aoe dmg, he’s great against large groups of enemies. he also hits as fast as polearm users, giving no chance for the enemy to counterattack. he can reach large numbers of crit dmg when you commit the effort for his artifacts. he works great with cryo and electro users, like beidou and fischl. i bring up his drawbacks because at the end of the day, mihoyo is a company and money is always foremost, they aren’t always on the playerbases’ side. honestly speaking, the decision to give zhongli a buff is an outlier, something that mihoyo didn’t anticipate doing. it wasn’t the efforts of western fans’ criticism that they gave him the buff, because america’s playerbase is small, it was the chinese players that complained the loudest, and god forbid a chinese company pisses of their own native players.

do i think mihoyo will give childe a buff? no. childe isn’t very popular, gameplay wise, on the chinese players side. so they most likely are not listening to any outcry by childe mains for example, mihoyo will keep releasing new characters, and these new characters will most likely powercreep some others. we barely made a big of a crack in the main story, we’re in the prologue stage of a sorts in a 6 or 7 act story, and so that definitely means new characters will just keep on coming. i just want you guys to keep in mind that you should always keep a distance, gambling can become an addiction, and never be bootlicker for a corporation who ultimately doesn’t care about you. like, i have a suspicion that the reason childe has a banner, why rosaria is on his banner, this time around on an event that’s all about mondstadt is, first, yes lorewise he is involved with the main story somewhat, he was accidentally in the abyss (the chasm?) when he was younger, that he was taught to fight by some woman there, and an upcoming main story quest with dainsleif reveals we will be fighting the abyss order at some point. but the second point, the “it’s just business” point, is that they know childe is a character phasing out in players’ interest, they put rosaria on his banner, to entice us to pull for her and by extension, childe, to make sales on his banner. this is basic business strategy. be aware of games like genshin impact, that are free to play on the surface, but have underhanded motives.

[spacetwiga]

leave c!phil out of bullshit 2k21 -- a not so tiny post by a new enthusiast

As someone who finds both common fanon and actual canon to be quite fun, I really think the general DSMP fandom would benefit greatly from a few things in general: the greatest, in my opinion, is learning to accept that popular fanon won’t usually be the canon you receive. Another, of course, is that POVs are golden, but with these two things being flimsy in being accepted, they are the major flaws that cause about 90% of the absolute messy takes that gain traction, oftentimes poisoning a canon character's ability to exist in the story.

My biggest beef regarding this comes from how y’all treat c!Phil, so here I am, being annoying on main side! 

TL;DR... Just because someone acted like like a guidance to others, doesn’t always mean that they'll want to be the father figure role for everyone that breathes. Similarly, pinning down a character on a single trope is wack, so don't be surprised if they grow away from it.

Baby’s first little dsmp rambling below!

(Warning: it's long as hell)

The Dream SMP plotline is not written out like most popular media. With so many moving parts in the form of daily streams and the wonderful tool of live improvisation, it makes perfect sense that such a giant cast would not always be on the same page. Adding onto that, it also makes more sense that a vast majority of the cast will be placed into supporting roles, as the story needs to have characters that serve as narrative anchors and others that function as the links in a chain, all weathering the storm that is the plot.

Screentime, of course, plays a major factor into canon exposure -- in terms of the Dream SMP, POV matters equally, if not more, too. 

It’s a pretty neat way of showing things, but in the end, the fanbase has a lovely (read: godawful /lh) way of analysing characters, particularly when it relates to how they interact with others from their fave character’s POV. The tendency to analyse things from a single character's POV is fine, but not when attempting to critique the greater whole of a conflict. Both sides, no matter how wrong they may seem to be, matter.

Adding onto the fact that everything is live, there are things that will spiral out of control, casual words being skewed and thus having the potential of a single line seemingly contradicting the entire ‘story’ that the fanbase has made. If it directly affects a fave's POV in particular, one is more likely to take offense, as bias immediately bars one from trying to see the other person's side of things.

POV is important. 

Which brings me to c!Phil, and how critics tend to ignore his perspective to prop up another character, or justify the tearing down of another.

Improvisation is both a blessing and a curse; the fanbase, however, loves to test out the latter. With it, the fanbase starts crafting tales to justify it...And so begins the mess that is c!Phil discourse.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is not supposed to be your fave’s fluffy father figure... unless you’re c!Wilbur!!!

😃☝🏾Dadza is good...👉🏾😎👉🏾 But fandom wants the excessive, idealized version.

-- birb 2k21

Family dynamics are generally loved for their potential for comfort, particularly those of a found family nature. Fandom in general tends to lean into them wholeheartedly, with most major bases having at least one prominent group present; SBI, of course, is no different. From fanart to popular fanfiction, it's arguably the biggest group dynamic alongside the Dream Team, and for that, a precedence was set. 

c!Phil, if he ever joined, would fix everything! All of the ‘kids’ would turn to their new mentor and everything would turn out fine! This all knowing, morally just character will chuckle at their antics and wacky hijinks will follow! Fun times, right? /s

The hope for it, however, has long since been shattered, and frankly, good for him!

To go a little ooc, cc!Phil has stated multiple times that, while he was friendly with a lot of the cast as c!Phil, his only paternal link (at least biologically) lies with c!Wilbur. Simple, right? It should be -- there are multiple clips of him saying this -- but fans choose to ignore it in their critiques, generally citing favouritism or downright neglect for the character’s flaws. From 'favoring' Techno (who, in canon, holds the highest link in friendship outside of c!Wilbur's familal link) to 'neglecting' to visit Tommy (who he barely knew, and also assumed, like many others, that he was fine), these critiques weigh heavily on the scale that judges Phil’s so called father figure trope. 

The story, however, has only leaned into (and persisted with) that for c!Wilbur alone, and adding onto it, there is an established acknowledgement from both ccs. That confirmation should hold the most weight, especially since both Phil and Wilbur seem alright with it. Even so, that familial has yet to be explored much for both characters, particularly regarding c!Phil, who has his debut (at least narratively) in a scene that feels opposite to the classic fatherly role.

c!Wilbur denounced accepting that helping hand to fall entirely into his explosive end, setting a precedence unlike most fatherly types arriving to save their kid. Usually, fandom narrative would love a close save, father and son uniting to heal and build up what was broken, but c!Phil’s entrance inks his story in failure. Angsty, right? We love angst!

And yet, as the story ticks on, the bad takes pile up.

Why? Well, I’l used to think that it is a “funny haha” type thing; a way to grieve for a character that was lost, as Alivebur was genuinely a great character. However, with the plot slowly progressing c!Phil’s story to evolve away from the ‘mentor the kids’ trope , I should have seen a storm on the horizon.

It should have been seen from the moment he stabbed c!Wilbur in the chest, but optimism is one hell of a smokescreen.

Built up fanon, however, is probably the greatest fog to ever exist.

There are lines before the button room confrontation that paint a picture of Wilbur seeking out the approval of his father (who seemed distant, at least from his POV), as well as hints to the SBI dynamic, but with the countless dismissals/retcons from CCs involved, as well as little to no consistent canon acknowledgement of this team dad role...Why base an entire hate piece of c!Phil just because popular fanon isn’t real? 

Why, for the sake of building up a well rounded character, would one place the title of a communal parental figure on a grieving father who has little attachment to the community involved, especially when most of them are too busy delving into their own issues?

Furthermore, why go for Mr. Philza Minecraft: Angel of Death, CEO of KEKW, Functioning Immortal????

It’s madness, luv, and frankly, antis cannot let c!Phil process any of his grief (or flesh out his character) without his contributions being fatherly. His role has been idealized to the point where he is not a character on his own, but an accessory to the happiness of other characters. That is not how the world works, and in a conflict riddled server like the dsmp, arguing that it should be like that is counterproductive.

c!Phil had his own shit to deal with, and as he slowly uncovers how fucked up the server actually was, he merely adapts to it. He learns to play the game by his own rules, and people become mad that he’s succeeding in his own way. It's as simple as that, particularly when referencing his initial exposure to the world he now inhabits.

c!Phil is a man who used to hear of his son’s success from the letters he received, words spinning tales of won revolutions and newfound friendships. To a father, those letters are more than enough to assume that all is well, and with it, he had no reason to check on his son, who was already old enough to be carving his path alone. For him to arrive and see just how broken his son actually was, and then, in front of faces he only vaguely knows, kill said son... There's a lot to take in.

He shouldn't have had to care about L'Manberg in those moments, not when he had his son in his arms, dead by his own goddamn weapon; his son who, to his knowledge, was doing pretty well up until he caught wind of his plot. Yet, he does.

He gives them the benefIt of the doubt, even ignoring the one person he has shown to have deep history with (c!Techno) to assist the nation in defeating the withers and rebuilding what was lost.

c!Phil stays in a nation that has seemingly brought his son right into his demise, holding in that grief to help people who he assumes have the chance to rebuild, to reform. For a moment, he trusts that the system can turn into something positive, offering to hunker down and do what he can to help. That’s the start of a fatherly type role for most -- with many expectations rising from fans to ‘fix’ all these traumatized characters.

In another plot, perhaps critics could have gotten the tropes they want from c!Phil, but to blame the character for reacting negatively to a world he barely knew, right after seeing it ruin his son and target a friend...Maybe the need for a "father figure" only stems from making their faves happy.

Characters that don't directly support your fave are not inherently awful characters. Critique based on that alone is...flimsy, really, but honestly, you can use to to show how they process things.

Which brings me to the events leading up to Doomsday, and with it, the steady rise of c!Phil’s defining traits.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is one of the most loyal members on the server, but loyalty doesn’t mean he's blindly following along!

😃☝🏾Butcher Army take this L👉🏾😎👉🏾 Found it in the L’Mancrater

-- birb 2k21

The butcher army arc, while nestled among the mainline story of Tommy’s exile (which I will not even mention, because those dadza takes about visiting may deserve a post on their own), allows for c!Phil to see into the minds of those who had once been with (or even against) his son’s plans. Sure, he may be witnessing them after the eve of their newfound traumas, but this is an important observation to make when comparing how easy it was to denounce his affiliation to them and side with c!Technoblade.

Unlike the new Administration, slowly dipping deeper and deeper into their own form of power hunger, c!Technoblade’s base desires had never wavered. His trust in others, however, had, still nursing the sting of a betrayal, but with no conflict in sight. He is reforming, finding comfort in his solitude, and still maintaining contact with those he trusts.

Techno's Compass, for one, is a major example of their mutual trust. Despite being on opposing territories, they are civil enough to trust each other, just like old friends.

Thus, when you take two old friends who are more than used to conflict -- one grieving and one betrayed, but both seeking neutrality -- it shouldn’t have surprised the antis that c!Phil would place c!Techno’s whereabouts (and life, mind you) over some government he barely knew. 

And yet, above all else, c!Phil starts off as a neutral party for everyone's sake, forgoing potential conquest for peace.

To c!Phil and c!Techno, it’s like fighting back to back, knowing that one can always trust the other to fend off those just waiting to take advantage of your blindspot, while also quelling the need to imagine your partner turning around and doing the same. That sort of friendship is forged through many, many hardships.

They betray what little trust he had built in them. That’s on them.

c!Phil is aware how untrusting c!Techno is, and while c!Techno feels safe enough to give his all for c!Phil, he never exploits it to get ahead, which is something L'Manbergians felt okay with doing.

They take a book out of the playbook used on c!Techno, for c!Techno.

They went after yet another person who was close to him, using their power and influence to hold an execution under the guise of seeking justice. If c!Wilbur, at least pre-corruption arc, sent letters to his father, one would at least expect some of his old ideals of freedom and fairness to leak through into his friends, right? To see those c!Phil assumed would hold similar ideals immediately skew towards a darker, brutal side, particularly in threatening others to get what they wanted...Well, shit hit the fan.

c!Phil does not have that strong relationship with any former L’Manbergians, and despite there being potential for such, it didn't work out that way; instead, however, those characters manage to mistake his kindness for weakness. They take his preferred neutrality as a way to exploit him, to gain in such a way that he lost agency...

No more Mister Nice Dadza, and honestly, he’s justified in that notion.

They’ve lost his trust, time too short to have gained that strong link like c!Techno’s or c!Wilbur’s, and with it, came the inevitable association with Doomsday.

c!Phil knew c!Techno’s intentions from the beginning -- which had only wavered into dormancy because he had grown tired of fighting, understanding that the cycle he wishes to break is not worth his efforts -- so the agreement in participating is effortless. 

c!Dream was there too, of course, but in their mutual quest for eradication, it’s made canon that c!Techno and c!Phil hid away most of their arsenal, despite seeming overprepared. They have no loyalty to c!Dream; they’re smart enough to play along, however. He was a means to an end.

There’s no lies present in their relationship; c!Phil needed someone who didn’t try and pull wool over his eyes, and c!Techno let him see.

c!Techno needed someone who wouldn't stab him in the back, and c!Phil stayed true as his hidden sword.

Which is why, as the two joined forces, ideals aligning and power synergized, they didn’t think twice about nuking the nation to bedrock. Mutually agreeing that the system needs to die, they did what they could, and they succeeded.

How cool of them, tbh LMAO.

New L’Manberg tugged too hard at the sleeping tiger’s tail; they shouldn’t have expected it to roll over.

Their openness to each other was known.

There was no need for underhanded plays, for hidden betrayals, for undisclosed words.

Their loyalties were strong.

They were in sync.

In conclusion (maybe, maybe not...this shit is long holy heck)

😃☝🏾 I may hate this analysis in 30 minutes👉🏾😎👉🏾 Or I may make a part 2. Fuck it!

-- birb 2k21

And that’s what makes c!Phil an interesting character: He tends to be critiqued in reference to chatacters who have very well wronged him, have no affiliation to him or get associated to him through popular fanon. There's a lot to cover that I haven't (from Ghostbur to the whole Tommy 'dilemna') but overall I'm digging what I have now and if I ever get more energy, I'll continue!

c!Phil enthusiasts, I hope I did you proud LMAO. It's my first forray into this side of tumblr 👉🏾👈🏾 I'm a lurker.

c!Phil antis, you can either act respectful or go argue with a wall. I got experience dealing with antis on Tumblr; I am immune to BS.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. Signing off!

- BIRB.

[crusherthedoctor]

Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

[ibijau]

part 10 of the Nomad Nie AU // On AO3

Huaisang has a surprise for his husband, who tries to surprise him in return

It took nearly another week after Cunzhi’s little adventure before the Nie finally arrived at their winter camp. The entire time, Nie Huaisang stuck close to his husband, in case Lan Xichen had developed a taste for confronting wolves unarmed and needed to be stopped. Lan Xichen was both amused and touched by this, and didn’t complain. 

He thought that Khan Mingjue too seemed rather entertained by this turn of events, and acted perhaps a little less angry toward him these days. When they arrived at the winter camp, Lan Xichen was bossed around by the Khan just the same way as everyone else as they rebuilt the gers, and he was trusted with helping Huaisang and a few others check whether any of the animals had sustained wounds during the long journey. He also was a little warmer when the three of them retired for the night, and constantly teased him about the wolf. This greatly annoyed Huaisang, which seemed to be the aim, but Lan Xichen found he rather enjoyed the Khan’s dry humour. It reminded him of Lan Wangji.

When they reached the place they would spend the winter, it took very little time to set everything up, at least in Lan Xichen’s opinion. In less than a day, there was a whole village standing, looking exactly as if it had always been there. The herds were then separated, which led to a few small disputes here and there. The Khan ordered his brother and Zonghui to take care of those if they could. As for himself, Mingjue was only giving the horses a chance to rest a little, and then he would head with a few men toward the other camp, to make sure that everything was alright with them.

Mingjue left early the next morning, just as Lan Xichen was starting to wake up. He groggily bid his brother-in-law a safe trip, then decided it was really too early to be up yet and tried to pull Huaisang back under the covers with him to cuddle for a while. Huaisang indulged him at first, but before long he was escaping to eat something, saying he had a busy day ahead. He was clearly very proud of having been tasked with helping settle any disputes that might have arisen due to the migration, and refused to let his brother down when Mingjue was finally trusting him with something.

Any hope Lan Xichen might still have had about a quiet morning together was fully ruined when Meng Yao came to check on them. Huaisang and Lan Xichen were still having breakfast, but invited him to sit with them if he wished and share their meal. Lan Xichen was delighted to see his friend, as always. So was Huaisang, though he still left before long, eager for this chance to prove how very useful and mature he could be.

“We’ll chat later,” Nie Huaisang said in Hanyu, his accent much better than it used to be. “Keep my husband company, Menyao. Make sure he does nothing stupid. No more wolves for him!”

Meng Yao laughed, and promised to keep an eye on Lan Xichen. Satisfied with this, Huaisang dropped a quick kiss on his husband’s forehead and hopped out of the ger. Lan Xichen watched him go, unable to refrain a fond smile as he passed some cheese to Meng Yao.

“Do you think he minds that we are friends?” Meng Yao asked as he took the food.

Lan Xichen shot him a surprised look. “Of course not. Why would he?”

Meng Yao appeared to hesitate, the way he sometimes did when he feared he had some unpleasant information to share. He stalled a moment, nibbling on his piece of cheese, before diving in.

“These barbarians can be rather possessive,” he explained. “And I am right in guessing you are still refusing him his marital rights, are you not?”

Lan Xichen nodded and looked away, heat rushing to his face. It really wasn’t a matter of refusing anything at this point, and just that the occasion for it couldn’t be found. With Nie Mingjue gone for a few days, Lan Xichen was hoping they’d seize their chance at last… but of course he couldn’t have said that to Meng Yao, it was too private a matter.

“Huaisang is much sweeter than the others,” Meng Yao said, “but even he could get jealous. Lan gongzi should keep that in mind, and tell me if I create problems for him.” He sighed, his expression pained. “Lan gongzi is dear to me, but I will distance myself if it is needed. I do not want to provoke Huaisang into anger.”

Lan Xichen laughed awkwardly, and drank to hide his embarrassment.

“It’s fine, it’s quite fine,” he said. “Huaisang doesn’t mind at all. You’re his friend too, in spite of his brother.”

Meng Yao looked unconvinced. “These people will turn on their friends over anything. Even among brothers there is strife sometimes. If Huaisang weren’t so indolent, he would probably have been killed a long while ago, just so he wouldn’t pose a threat to the Khan’s power. Their grandfather killed his own father for power, it runs in their blood. So please, be careful, and tell me if I can ever do anything for you. You’re the only true friend I have, I don’t want for any harm to come to you.”

The story of Huaisang’s grandfather wasn’t unknown to Lan Xichen. Huaisang had told it to him, not without some pride, because the murdered father had been a cruel man who abused people and animals alike. Mingjue, who had been with them in the ger, had added that an unjust Khan could not be allowed to rule, and he would expect the same if he took a turn for the worse.

It had disturbed Lan Xichen at first, that anyone could talk so lightly of killing one’s father, one’s superior. In the end, he figured that perhaps the Nie too had a version of the Mandate of Heaven at play, and that Huaisang’s great-grandfather had lost heaven’s favour with his misconduct.

“I’m glad Meng gongzi feels this way,” Lan Xichen said. “I also see you as a true friend. If you had not been here to help me, I don’t know what I would have done. And I hope you know that I would be happy to help you as well, should you ever require it.” He hesitated a moment, then added: “For example if there might be a way to mend things between you and the Khan…”

Meng Yao failed to contain a slight grimace, and shook his head.

“No, the chance for that has passed,” he sighed. “He hates me too much now, and is too ready to blame me for everything that goes wrong in the clan. I’m sure he blames me for what happened with Cunzhi too, wouldn’t you say?”

Lan Xichen, quite awkwardly, didn’t know what to answer. 

It wasn’t that Meng Yao had caused that situation on purpose, of course. Still, Lan Xichen had become quite convinced that Cunzhi had escaped his mother’s care and hidden this way specifically because he had been so upset at losing Meng Yao’s company, and somehow hoped that making his displeasure obvious enough would allow him to get his way. It was likely that Khan Mingjue had come to the same conclusion, but was less kind with regards to Meng Yao’s intentions in that situation.

“Misunderstandings have happened in the past,” Lan Xichen said at last. “They can be corrected. I’m sure there must be ways to let the Khan see that you’ve never had ill intentions, only bad luck.”

“You think too kindly of the Khan,” Meng Yao scoffed.

And you think too ill of him, Lan Xichen thought with some disappointment. 

Khan Mingjue could be somewhat unreasonable when worrying for his brother, but even in his dislike he wasn’t unjust. He treated Meng Yao coldly and refused to deal with him more than necessary, but he didn’t go out of his way to be cruel to him, nor did he allow for him to be treated poorly by others. Aside from Huaisang, nobody was forbidden from associating with him. Lan Xichen was certain that if both parties had only made a small effort, they could have reconciled and returned to the friendship Huaisang told him used to exist between them. At first he’d thought all the efforts would have to come from the Khan, but he now saw that Meng Yao too would have to be a little more forgiving.

It would take time, Lan Xichen knew, and no small amount of work. 

“It’s fine anyway,” Meng Yao insisted, chewing on the last of his cheese. “I’m only biding my time until I can go home. I know someday my father will return for me, just as you must hope your family will do. When my father comes to get me back, it won’t matter much what the Khan thinks of me.”

The barely restrained fierceness in Meng Yao’s voice surprised Lan Xichen. His friend rarely spoke of his father, or indeed of anything about his life before joining the Nie. Lan Xichen was under the impression he had perhaps been less well treated in their home country than he was among nomads. From some of the things he said, Lan Xichen suspected that Meng Yao was either the child of a concubine or a servant who had been noticed for his intelligence and given an education, but never treated as truly part of the family. If so, it was unlikely that his father would ever bother to attempt to buy him back from the Nie, not the way Lan Xichen thought his own family might attempt once they’d built enough of a fortune with this new trade route opened to them.

It wouldn’t be for a few years at best, but Lan Xichen was unsure what he’d do if this happened. Of course he missed his home and family no less than Meng Yao did, yet he wouldn’t want to leave Huaisang behind. But it might be a pointless question anyway. Meng Yao might hope for his father’s return, Lan Qiren might attempt to buy back his nephew, but Khan Mingjue probably wouldn’t want to let anyone go who knew too much about his people.

Overtaken by a mild melancholy, Lan Xichen changed the topic and quickly finished eating so Meng Yao and him could go out and take care of their chores. Busy hands helped him empty his mind, though his mood remained a little off all morning. It was only when he returned to the ger for lunch that he started feeling better again, knowing he would see Huaisang.

Just as he had hoped, Lan Xichen found himself smiling happily as he entered the ger and started preparing for lunch. That smile only widened when Huaisang finally joined him, holding a bowl of dumplings in one hand, and carrying a dark wooden box under his other arm. The dumplings were carefully set aside, and the box presented to Lan Xichen.

“It’s for you!” Huaisang announced. “A gift for my husband.”

Lan Xichen glanced at the box, then at Huaisang’s excited face.

“Where did you get this?”

“I made a trade with old Xianjun,” Huaisang explained, handing the box to his husband. “Foals for three of his mares from my best racing stallion in spring, and he gave me this. It’s a Han thing, right?”

Inspecting the box more closely confirmed it was of Han origin. Its style had a southern flair to it, and Lan Xichen wondered how it had arrived so far north. It wasn’t a luxurious box, a little rough here and there, but still beautiful and made with obvious care by a competent artisan, and seeing this trace from home tugged at his heart. To distract himself from this renewed melancholy Lan Xichen opened the box while Huaisang peered curiously over his shoulder.

Lan Xichen gasped.

“Is it bad?” Huaisang asked, a note of worry in his voice.

“It’s very good,” Lan Xichen replied, sitting down to more comfortably admire his present. “Why did they have this?”

Huaisang chuckled nervously. “Old Xianjun followed my father on a raid against Han people when he was young,” he admitted. “He traded away many things, kept a few. Nobody wanted this and he found it pretty, so he kept it. What is it?”

“The four treasures of the study,” Lan Xichen said, only to be met with a blank look. “Ah, hm. It is used to write things, like in my books?”

Among Lan Xichen’s few possessions when he arrived with the Nie had been two books he’d taken with him. A caprice, his uncle had called it when they were getting to leave home, telling him he wouldn’t have any use for poetry, nor for that short history treaty he’d picked up some weeks earlier and never made time to study. A few months later and he knew those books by heart, as did Meng Yao who had nearly cried from joy upon being allowed to borrow them. As for Huaisang, he showed little interest in the books themselves, but enjoyed having the poetry read to him and explained, and he liked also the few printed illustrations.

“You can make a book with this?” Huaisang asked, looking doubtful.

“If I had something to say. I could also paint something,” Lan Xichen suggested, guessing that might amuse his husband more. The paper was of good enough quality that its age hadn’t made it too fragile, and the ink still seemed good at well. The inkstone was intact, its square shape simple but elegant. Only the pair of brushes wasn’t perfectly to Lan Xichen’s liking, since they were clearly made for writing rather than painting, but their quality was good, and his skill wasn’t high enough that the wrong tool would really hinder him.

“Paint something for me!” Huaisang predictably demanded, eyeing the box’s content with more interest now.

“Gladly. What should I paint?”

Huaisang barely hesitated. “Something you would miss if you went home.”

Hearing this, Lan Xichen’s smile faltered. It seemed he really couldn’t avoid thinking of home that day. At the same time, this had the advantage of being an easy request to fulfil, because there was only one thing he could think of painting after being asked this.

“I will do that. But it has to be a surprise. You can’t look at it until it’s done, Huaisang.”

“But I want to see how you do it!”

“After this, I teach you how to paint,” Lan Xichen offered. There were about three dozen sheets of paper in the box, which didn’t feel like much, but it would be enough. He’d just have to ask his family to bring him more next time he saw them. “This one will be a gift for you, so you can’t see.”

Huaisang went from pouting to grinning in an instant. Lan Xichen took a moment more to admire his own gift, then closed the box and asked his husband about his morning. They sat down and ate together, chatting about this and that, making plans for the rest of the day. When they were done with food, Lan Xichen took his box and started carefully preparing some paper and ink. Huaisang watched with fascination the process of grinding ink, asking questions about it that Lan Xichen answered as well as he could. Once he started actually painting, Huaisang was chased away to the other side of the ger where he worked for a while with leather.

Lan Xichen found it quite nice to be together like this, each of them occupied with their own work, occasionally trading a few words, but mostly silent and focused on what they were doing. He had never expected that it would be so comfortable to be in someone else’s company this way, least of all under such circumstances, but it made him glad once more than Huaisang and him had been brought together. Fate had really found him a perfect partner.

All too soon though, this moment of peace was interrupted. Someone came to ask Huaisang to help them with a dispute regarding cattle, and Lan Xichen had his own chores to attend. They both put away their work and went out, knowing they would meet again for dinner.

When afternoon reached its end, Xichen returned to the ger and found it empty. After tidying a bit, he took this chance and went back to working on his painting. It was no masterpiece, not when he had never received the education to create great works and hadn't touched a brush in months, but Lan Xichen was still happy enough with his work. He was putting the finishing touches when Huaisang returned, dusted with snow that had started falling, and carrying again some food. 

"Can I see soon?" Huaisang asked, staring toward the sheet of paper but keeping his distance, as he'd been asked. 

The painting wasn’t quite done, there were a few details to add, but Huaisang’s barely contained curiosity was too adorable. Lan Xichen motioned for his husband to come closer, which Huaisang immediately obeyed, rushing to his side and dropping on his knees right next to him.

“Here it is,” Lan Xichen announced, revealing the painting and handing it to Huaisang.

Just as he had hoped, Huaisang’s initially excited expression quickly turned to astonishment as he discovered that on the paper was a portrait of himself, painted as faithfully as Lan Xichen’s skill would allow. Huaisang’s face took on a very sweet pinkish hue that grew more intense the longer he gazed at the portrait, while his eyes shone with emotion.

“Something you would miss,” he mumbled, tearing his eyes from the painting to look at Lan Xichen. “Really?”

“Really,” Xichen said, putting away his brush in its proper place, telling himself he would clean it in a moment. First, though, he needed to kiss his husband. Huaisang, seeing him lean closer, hurriedly set aside the painting and threw his arms around Lan Xichen’s neck.

It wasn’t rare these days for the two of them to get passionate while kissing, and like many times before, Huaisang quickly ended up straddling Lan Xichen’s lap as he licked into his mouth, his hands wandering under the layers of his husband’s clothes. Usually that was the moment Mingjue would pick to come home and glare at them, but… 

But Mingjue wasn’t there at all this time, and at this time of day nobody would come looking for them. So Lan Xichen let himself fall back on the carpeted ground, and looked up at Huaisang, still straddling him.

Huaisang let out a strangled noise, but didn’t move. “Do you want…”

Lan Xichen quickly nodded. However much it had once terrified him to be wanted by Huaisang, he’d more than made his peace with it, his desire now matching his husband’s. There was no one else in the world he could imagine wanting as much as he wanted Huaisang, no one he would trust as much.

That nod was all the invitation Huaisang needed. He leaned down to kiss Lan Xichen with renewed passion, clumsily trying to untie his husband’s clothes while Lan Xichen did the same for him.

It was, to put it mildly, a fun night for both of them.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I (Want to) Love Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Salutations, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this! I’m an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. I also LOVE the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Whether as a kid, or an adult pretending to be a kid, this franchise is one that I’ll always revisit no matter how old I get. So when I heard that a new version of the series was coming out in 2018, titled as Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I was excited about it. Then I watched the series...and most of that excitement went down the sewer drain. 

Don’t get me wrong, there were some elements that seemed like there was some definite promise for a good series, but other aspects...I’ll have to explain. 

But keep in mind, I am going to be spoiling a lot about the series. So if you haven't watched it yet, I highly recommend you do so to form your own opinions. Because while it may not have grabbed me as much, that doesn’t mean the same can’t be said for you. With that out of the way, let's get started with--

WHAT I LIKE

The Animation: If anybody ever tells you that Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has awful animation, they are objectively wrong. Rise of the TMNT has some of the best, if not the best, animated fight scenes I've seen from any action series in recent memory. Probably because the show understands the number one rule of action animation: Good animation is a requirement. Not an exception.

For an action-oriented animated series, the audience needs to feel the impact whenever characters punch, block, or dodge in each fight. Yes, even dodge. Because if you can feel even the tiniest gust of wind that passes by a character's face after a punch, then you know the animators are doing something right. And trust me when I say that is present in the majority of most fights in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Are there moments when the movements are slow and rigid? Yes...during the dialogue and comedic scenes. Moments where good and quality animation isn't really all that necessary. You see this same technique in most modern anime: The animation is rigid and cheap for the dialogue-heavy scenes so the animators can give extra attention to the epic action set pieces. Not a single person complains about this happening in their favorite anime of the week. But when Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles does this, apparently it's a bad thing? Explain that logic to me!

The animation is phenomenal in this show. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise because those people are either blind or insanely stupid. Either works.

It’s Pretty Funny: And that's about it. It's nowhere near one of the funniest shows I have seen, and previous iterations of the franchise did a much better job at balancing humor and heart, but Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did a great job at getting a laugh out of me from time to time. It has a very random sense of humor that works well with its manic energy, similar to what Star vs. the Forces of Evil did early on in its first season. Even if one joke fails, about ten more take its place, most of them funnier than the others. There may be an occasional issue where a joke spoils a dramatic moment, but Rise of the TMNT is one of the few shows where that issue doesn't happen often. Besides, the series sets itself up as more of a comedy than other reboots and reiterations, so it wouldn't look good if it wasn't funny. Thankfully, it is, and in a way, the show is a success because of it.

It Tries to be Something New: This is what I respect most about the series. The downside about a reboot is that writers have to find a way to tell the same story but with adjustments that make it seem different. That's the same way Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles operates as a franchise. The original concepts of the stories and characters are always iconic, and I'll love them with my whole heart, but I will admit, there's a point where the same thing over and over again can be a little tiring. Then there's Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which makes changes where other shows would ask "why," this is the one that asks "why not?"

Why not change the personality and backstories of characters that still fit with the spirit of the original?

Why not change the genders, races, and possibly sexualities of these iconic characters?

Why not make something new?

Now, some have argued that the show is a little too new. Which I can kind of see the point of. After all, what's the point of changing characters and concepts so drastically when you could just make an original series? But even then, most of the changes are pretty clever, that I think it’s worth remembering for future iterations. Like making Casey Jones a female. Casey is a gender-neutral name, and I legitimately thought this series would do it for that reason alone. So I feel bad that the writers never got a chance to allow the series to reach its full potential with ideas like this due to Nickelodeon screwing them over (Seriously, never pitch a show to Nickelodeon. It rarely ever works out, and it's not worth the risk). I can see how these ideas could result in an incredible show that might cement the series as one of the best iterations of the franchise. But I can't base a story on potential. I can only judge what I see, and what I see are brilliant changes that impress me from time to time.

The Creators Are Still Fans: Despite making something completely different, you can tell that everyone working on this show loves TMNT as the rest of the fans do. There are dozens of references to previous versions littered throughout the series. Whether it's shoutouts to the 90s cartoon to bringing back voice actors from the last one, there are moments where the crew behind the series emphasizes how much they care about the franchise. There are also times when a reference has such a deep cut to it. For example, the series has the previous VA for Splinter to voice the current version of Shredder. I shouldn't have to explain how that is a brilliant idea, especially given Shredder's relationship with Karai...which I can't fully explain due to it spoiling TMNT (2012). This might be a whole new experience, but it is clear that history is not ignored when it comes to Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The Cast is Colorful: It's not precisely a diversity win to have half the Turtles voiced by black VAs, but it is unquestionably some good sign of progress. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are...accurately what they are called. So they are not defined by the skin tone of the VAs themselves. So having half of them be voiced by people of color makes me hopeful that maybe future reboots would consider more colorful castings. Hell, maybe one day we'll have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot where all of them are POCs, to the point that we'll have an all-Asian casting for these timeless heroes (which makes way too much sense to me).

And it's not just the casting of the turtles that impresses me. Because the series making April O'neil black is an idea that I'm more than ok with. It's implied that she's black in the original comics by Keven Eastman and Peter Laird, so it works as another deep-cut reference that proves how big of fans the crew is. Plus, who cares? I mean, if we're still having issues of changing the race of a character who was originally white, all I can say is grow the hell up. You can complain if they don't grab you, but if the issue is because of one decision that shouldn't negatively affect anybody, I don't see the problem. Besides, at this point, a character being white is basically the base plate for someone in the future to change their race at another time.

Also, let’s give the people behind the casting a pat on the back for casting Asian VAs for characters who are, well, Asian. It’s the bare minimum of common courtesy and avoids the trouble of having white VAs do asian accents that have become quite culturally insensitive nowadays. So it’s a pretty cool decision if you ask me.

Diversity is never an issue, especially since representation always matters for people who demand to be heard. It's definitive proof that anybody can be anything, whether it's a hero in fiction or the voice of that hero behind the scenes. And you can't really do that when everyone is so white that it's blinding.

Donatello: This is the best character in the series. Not only because Donatello has the most consistent personality (more on that later), but also because I'm a sucker for the cynical super-geniuses. These types of characters always have a quick and dry wit that never fails to get a laugh out of me, and this version of Donatello became my favorite just for that factor alone. Most of the credit goes to Josh Brener, who does a phenomenal job at his performance and comedic delivery. As for the emotional bits, he's...fine, but the drama isn't the show's best strength anyway, so it doesn't matter as much. Because the fact that it's Donatello who earns the spot as best character in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is an impressive feat in itself that any criticism offered for him is moot in the process.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Leonardo: I'm willing to make half of this a personal issue because I have grown to despise Ben Schwarts in the last four years. No offense to the guy, I'm sure he's a really great person in real life...but he has done nothing but play the same character in FOURS YEARS! Whether he's Leonardo, Dewey Duck, Sonic the Hedgehog, or even M.O.D.O.K.'s son (yes, that's a thing), Ben Schwarts has practically played the exact same character each time. The highly energized, dimwitted, and egotistical character who slowly tries to learn to be a better person in the end. AND SOMETIMES, NOT EVEN THAT! I'm sick of it, as it always breaks the immersion of the series as all I hear is Ben Schwarts and not the character he's voicing. But it's not just the voice behind Leonardo that frustrates me. Because the thing is, I can see how this version of him can be incredible.

It doesn't take a genius to know that this version of Leonardo is meant to be more childlike and carefree so he can morph into the more mature leader we all know and respect him as. The issue is that the writers barely do anything with that idea. Sure some episodes make this Leonardo more like, well, Leonardo, but they're far and few between the ones where he's the same Ben Schwarts character that I've grown to hate. Even when he is at his most Leo-like, as seen in the episode "Man vs. Sewer," it's so drastically different from how he usually acts that it feels less like character development and more like inconsistency. It's a shame too because I really love this idea. With a little more polish, it could work out. As is, it's just a huge chunk of wasted potential.

Raph’s Too Good of a Leader: This is a similar issue to what I've mentioned about Leonardo. Because, again, I love this idea. Raphael, in multiple iterations, complained about how he should be the leader and just as frequently learns why the job rightly belongs to Leo instead. So starting with this role reversal should be a well-executed idea that gives Raph what he wants while eventually giving the fans what they want. And it would be if not for the fact that Raph seems to be too good at his job.

I get it. If Raphael was too incompetent, the turtles would have gotten nothing done, and it would get too tiring too quick as Leonardo constantly proves why he should lead and why Raph should follow. This actually happens from time to time, and it is already tiresom. The issue is that the intention was to make Leonardo the leader in the end. So why spend so much time showing how Raphael is capable at the job and barely any time showing why Leonardo is a better fit? There are even times when Raphael seems like he really is a better leader than Leo, which I feel as though it is contradictory to the point the writers are trying to get across. In the end, it's nothing more than another really great idea met with insanely poor execution.

Master Splinter (Early Season One): ...Did anybody like this version of Master Splinter in the first half of season one? Because this character was atrocious, especially compared to the previous Splinter from TMNT (2012). We went from what is easily the best interpretation of the character to what was, at the time, the worst. He was lazy, selfish, and emotionally distant with his sons to the point where he only acknowledges them by the color of their bandannas. I understand that the writers needed a more comedic version of the character due to leaning extra hard into comedy, but I don't think I laughed once with his antics in the first half of season one. Thankfully, he's been gifted with a softcore reboot during the second half and onward. This Splinter is awesome, serious, he works well as a straight man, and he has a backstory that's easy to follow while still being kind of heartbreaking. It's a tremendous improvement from what we've been given, but it still doesn't change how downright painful he initially was. I won't complain about the results, but I do have the right to complain about what we got beforehand.

Characters are Inconsistent: A common complaint you'll hear about Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is that the main characters are the same. That's not true because there are definite differences that separate each one apart from the other...the issue is that the writers are not consistent with those changes. I've touched upon it with Leo, but the truth is, everyone in the main cast suffers from inconsistency with their personalities. If Raph is supposed to be the meathead with a good heart, why are there times when he acts like the smart one who occasionally enjoys violence? If April is supposed to be as wild and carefree as the rest of the guys, why are there episodes where she seems to be the sane one? If Mikey is supposed to be kind yet somewhat stupid, why are there episodes where he's selfish and more intelligent than Leonardo? Even Donatello, who is the most consistent out of the whole cast, still suffers through moments when he isn't as clever and cynical as he usually is. These inconsistencies are annoying, and at times, it feels like their personalities are dependent on what the writers need for a joke or for the episode. Characters are the most essential aspect of any story for any medium. If audiences don't care about the characters, they'll find it hard to care about anything else. And how can we care about anyone if we're not one hundred percent sure what their personalities are in the first place?

The Pacing: I sort of expected this when it was announced that this reboot was swapping the franchise's usual half-hour runtime for a ten-minute one, but in all honesty, it isn't that bad. It is slightly fast at times, but that's just as quick to get used to. However, there is one strange phenomenon about this show that I can't let go of.

You see, this series somehow has worse pacing with extended episodes and specials than it does with its usual ten minutes. I don't know how this is possible either. Because despite having as much time as the writers want to establish each plot point, it still feels like they fly through them a little too fast than they regularly would. It makes no sense, but it's constant in every extended episode, especially the series finale (which, to be fair, is partially Nickelodeon's fault. AGAIN!). So keep that in mind when watching.

The Characters Are TOO Overpowered: It feels weird complaining about this. Because making the characters capable of doing anything and surviving much more leads to some of the most epic action sequences in animation history, not just the series or the TMNT franchise as a whole. Despite that, though, there is one crucial thing that is always missing from those fight scenes anyways: Tension.

To fully explain why tension is required in action, I'll have to use Samurai Jack as an example. You see, the titular character can, at times, be just as invincible as these versions of the Turtles and survive even worse. But regardless of him being victorious after nearly every episode, no matter how high the deck is stacked against him, there was always a sense that he fought hard, literally and figuratively, for those victories in the first place. Jack losing articles of clothing or getting cut up gives the illusion that he might not win in the end. He still does, and he always does, but showing the audience that he can and will get hurt makes seeing that victory feel earned. The only times the Turtles, April, or Splinter get hurt is either for comedic slapstick or because the story says so. This is why I consider Shredder destroying the lair is the best fight scene in the entire series. The second he starts destroying their weapons, it gives the tension required to believe maybe, just maybe, not everyone will make it out alive this time. Because if the characters aren't careful, they will face intense consequences as a result. Thus making an adrenaline-pounding moment in the process. Unfortunately, this is the one and only fight scene where that happens. Every action set piece is still epic, don't get me wrong. But there's a reason why writers make even Superman seem less invincible than typical in a fight.

Baron Draxum: THIS is the biggest issue that I have with the series.

As a villain, I didn't give a s**t about Baron Draxum. He was a dull antagonist with a generic evil plot, but other than that, he was perfectly serviceable for a series like this. Even getting a few chuckles now and again...but then the writers decided to make him REDEEMABLE!?

This guy?

The maniac who wanted to commit genocide on human beings, all because of insufficient proof that they'll do it to his species first?

Didn't we already learn how that's awful reasoning after Steven Universe?

Actually, that's not fair...because Steven Universe has a better explanation behind wanting to redeem the Diamonds than Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles does about Baron Draxum! And I'm not kidding! For Steven Universe, the characters believe that it's better to end things peacefully than killing anyone, even if they're the worst criminals. It's a flawed mentality, sure, but it's one you can grasp and understand. What's the reason for redeeming Baron Draxum? It's because he's the reason why Splinter and the turtles are a family...F**k all the physical torture Splinter went through on top of the social ostracization he experienced because of it. No, no, it totally validates the decision to forgive and forget...Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

Who in the f**k honest to goodness thought that would be a good idea? I'm all for finding silver linings in a bad situation, but that is just flat-out lunacy! Because it's the equivalent of saying, "Yeah, this person was a complete a-hole, but they're still the a-hole that made you who you are today." But that is a very dangerous lesson to preach to kids. Because here's the--Hey *snaps fingers* Here's the thing: If a person treats you like garbage, you don't owe them anything for who you are. It's one thing if a person inspired you or cheered you on, but if someone basically ruined your life and physically harmed you and others, don't forgive them. They don't deserve it. ‘Cause f**k Baron Draxum. And whoever thought this was a good idea, you seriously need some help.

Man, is this how it feels to be Lily Orchard? IT SUCKS!

IN CONCLUSION

And that's what I think about Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

It's a fantastic series! I just like everything except for the execution of ideas, most of the characters, and the overall pacing of it...that means it's not a good series, is it?

Yeah, it's a real shame that I don't like this. Because I want to. I really want to. The pieces are there, and I can see how this could be a great and memorable version of a series I loved since I was a tater-tot myself. But I don't. I'm sorry, but I just don't consider this to be an A+ series. It's a solid C, for sure, because it's mostly just style with very little substance. I still respect the amount of effort everyone put into this reboot, but for me, it just never had its chance to fully rise to the occasion.

[tarlosbuddie]

CapSwap - Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Summary: Taylor Kelly is back at the 118 and she’s producing a new TV Show where Bobby Nash and Owen Strand will trade places for an entire month. Bobby will fly to Austin to take over the 126 when Owen will be the Captain at the 118. 

Or a dad swap between the two Daptain.

Word Count: 2640

Chapter: 1/?

When Bobby Nash received a call from the fire chief, he expected another suspension. It’s the only thing that comes to his mind now when the highest-ranking member of the department personally asked to talk to him. To be fair, the 118 had its fair share of suspension and Bobby is driving to the fire chief office, wondering which one of his team is going to be benched again. None of them deserve it, but life keeps throwing them curveballs so Bobby is just expecting the next one. They are all doing fine lately, at least at work. Sure, half of them still need some serious therapy to get through their trauma, but Bobby trusts them to deal with it. He is about to enter the office when he sees a small red-haired woman talking to the chief and laughing with him. Bobby can barely see her face, but he recognized her voice and he is annoyed already. She is finally leaving the office and the chief waves at Bobby to enter.

“You remember Taylor Kelly?” the chief asks. Bobby is surprised to see him smiling this way. He knows he should be relieved because it probably means that no one is getting fired, but a reporter is never good news for him.

“It’s kind of hard to forget her and her cameras,” Bobby says. He is trying his best to keep his tone respectful while addressing his superior.

“Her news report about the 118 did great for public relations”, he explains. “The department had to cut some parts they didn’t like, but otherwise it helped with public opinion.” 

“Do you want her to make another video? Because I know you liked her work but I can’t say I was happy having her around” Bobby says.

“You won’t have to worry about Taylor” the chief replies and Bobby is relieved for a moment. But then he opens his mouth again and the relief is short-lived. “You will be going to Austin,” he says and Bobby’s jaw drops. “Miss Kelly had a great idea to improve public opinion. You will swap places with another captain for a month. We already cleared everything with the other department. They are sending their captain on Monday” he adds, leaving no room for argument. 

“Chief, with all due respect” Bobby tries.

“Captain Nash, your station has not the best records at the moment.” he cuts.  “Between your suspension and Mr. Buckley’s lawsuit, you are not in our good grace. Take this as a chance to redeem yourself in the eyes of the public and in my eyes too,” he says firmly. “This is happening whether you like it or not.” 

“My family is here, you can’t uproot me without my permission.”

“It’s only for a month. So I suggest you start packing because you are leaving in a few days. Unless you are willing to add insubordination to your list.”

Bobby is about to walk out of the office when the chief adds “It’s going to be a good experience for you and your team. Don’t see this as a punishment, use it as an opportunity to learn a thing or two. I’m sure AFD will be happy to have you there.”

Taylor is still in the hallway when Bobby leaves the office, but he ignores her and goes back to the station. 

He explains the situation to the team as soon as he arrives. They are all around the table, waiting for a breakfast that wasn’t cooked since Bobby wasn’t there to feed them. Eddie is the first to react to the news.

“Wait, Taylor Kelly is coming back here?” he says much to everyone’s surprise.

“Well, I didn’t think that would be the part that bothers you” Bobby teases. “I’m glad you are not too sad about having another captain here.”

“Of course I’m sad, Cap,” Eddie adds. 

“I’m not excited about this either, but we don’t have much of a choice. The chief sent me the contracts, the cameras won’t be here all the time. They just want to produce an entertaining piece about how a different captain can change things in a station but I think it’s mostly an excuse for Taylor to step up her game”.

“It looks like she already did Cap”, Buck says. “She was always ambitious and that’s one of the things I learned to respect about her. She went from traffic reports to news reports to producing her own show.”

Buck complimenting the woman that went Buck 1.0 on him and leaving him in a parking lot was not something Bobby thought he’d ever seen but he was even more surprised by the murdering look on Eddie’s face.

“What do we know about the new cap?” Hen asks. 

“I’m going to Austin, so I think that’s where the new guy is coming from.” Bobby answers. He sits on the table next to them and handles all of them the contracts to sign. He didn’t really read them in the chief office before being practically forced to sign his copy. But now that he has his in his hand and a hot-barely-drinkable coffee in the other he reads a paragraph that makes him want to spit his coffee. “What the hell?” he screams to himself but everyone raises their head from their reading to look at their captain.

“Everything’s okay Cap? Buck asks, a little worried. The youngest member didn’t even bother to grab his own contract and was reading from Eddie’s as he was close enough to see it. Both his hands were filled with food anyway.

“The Captain of the 118 would live at the Strand’s house for the duration of the contract” Bobby reads, voice higher than he would have hoped.

“Does this mean you will have to live with his wife or something?” Chimney asks, his curiosity is picked and he is dying to know more about what already appears to be a month of chaos and fun.

“His boy,” Bobby says. “It says that the Captain from the 126 added a clause in the contract saying that he didn’t want his son to be alone and that he wanted me to keep an eye on him. I’m going to babysit a teenager?” Bobby assumes. “Thank God the firehouse is the only place I’m exchanging with him because I wouldn’t want to come home to Athena to tell her that some stranger would live under her roof.”

The rest of the shift goes back without any major surprise. Every time they come back to the house in between calls, Chimney is on his laptop, googling things and laughing, Eddie is even closer to Buck, questioning him about Taylor Kelly even as they step into the showers after a call that left them covered in ashes and sweat and Hen is talking to Bobby while keeping an eyes on the boys, already guessing how insufferable the three of them will be on Monday.

When Bobby comes home after a long, mostly boring, shift, he feels anxiety building in his stomach at the idea of having to break the news to his wife and her kids. He waits for the diner to be over to start talking.

“So, the Chief called me into his office this morning,” he says first.

“Everything’s okay? Nothing to do with Buck I hope? I swear, this boy has been giving me more gray hair in 3 years than my kids in a lifetime.” 

“Buck’s fine. His ex girlfriend, though.” Bobby starts.

“Abby? She was a sweet woman,until she broke our boy’s heart.”

“Taylor Kelly.”

“The news reporter?”

“It’s Taylor Kelly, the TV productor now. She pitched an idea to the Chief and he signed for it with a big smile.”

“What idea? She’s not gonna film you again, is she?” Athena says in the same annoyed tone than Bobby.

“I like her” May says before her brother hits her arm for her to stop talking. “What? She’s good. She did some very interesting news pieces and she gave a lecture to my school to encourage young students to go to college.”

“So what did that angel of a woman did for my husband to look so pissed?”

“She’s producing a show called the Swap.”

“I’ve seen an episode” the young woman cuts again. “She had doctors trade hospitals to show how leadership can affect a place. It was great! One of them was super uptight and-” she stopped talking when her eyes met Bobby’s. “Oh shit.”

“Langage!” Athena says. “Is there something I’m missing?”

“She’s doing a firefighter version. And I guess I’m the very uptight one.”

Of all the reactions he imagined all day, the only one he didn’t imagine was the sound of his wife bursting into laughter.

“Sorry” she says, covering her mouth to stop the loud noize coming out of it. “Sorry, it’s not funny.”

“It’s really not” Bobby says.

“I’m just trying to picture you in that show, with a new team. And oh god, that poor captain is not ready to handle the 118.”

“Hey, they’re a great team.”

“They’re your kids, Bobby. You love them and I do too. They are great at their jobs.”

“They’re the best,” Bobby corrects.

“But they are also a bunch of living disasters. How long has it been since one of them ended up in the hospital? I hope the new cap doesn’t like his hair too much, because he’s gonna end up with a head full of gray hair within the first week.”

“I was hoping a little more empathy for your poor husband who’s gonna live in Texas for a month with the son’s captain as a roommate.”

“You’ll do great, honey. I’m not worried about you.”

Meanwhile, a thousand miles away.

“Are you serious, dad? Please tell me you’re kidding me.” TK whines. He places his mug on the sink and walks toward Owen who is waiting for him by the door to go to work.

“It will be a nice change, TK. Plus, the department told me I didn’t really have a choice since they needed the money to pay for the House renovation I ordered. Apparently I went a little over the budget.”

“You spend half the budget on that fancy coffee maker Judd can’t even get to work without your help.”

“Stop complaining and move your ass to the car or we’ll be late. I hope you’ll complain less when the new cap is here cause he’ll be the one driving your whining ass to work.”

“He what?”

So maybe Owen forgot to mention that part. It was the only thing that had him hesitate before saying yes, he promised he wouldn’t leave his son alone after what happened in New York. He tried to negotiate for his son to come with him but the productors insisted only the captain could come, so he only managed to have the other captain to live with his son at all time. He also knew TK wasn’t alone anymore, he saw the way Carlos looked at him the day he came picking him up at the station. He knows he will be fine but he’s not taking any chances when it comes to his boy safety. 

When they both arrive at the station, Mateo has a hot cup of coffee ready for Owen and TK goes to the kitchen to make himself his own cup. Judd is fighting with the machine and holds his hands up in defeat.

“I give up. This thing hates me, I swear.” 

“Someone is in a mood” Marjan laughs from her spot in the kitchen where she’s cooking something for breakfast.

“You’re about to be in a mood when you hear the cap’s latest idea.” TK comments. He’s about to drink the coffee he just poured himself when he sees Judd’s puppy eyes. “Did Buttercup teach you that trick? I’m not rubbing your belly if that’s what you want.” The dog comes to his favorite firefighter and TK gives his coffee to Judd. “Fine, you can have mine, but only because my hands will be busy doing this.” He says while starting petting the dog.

“So, what’s that idea of yours, cap?” Paul asks.

“First, it’s not my idea, it’s the department.” Owen says. “Second, don’t listen to my grumpy son, it will be fun.”

“What would be fun?” Judd asks, definitely not convinced but his captain enthusiastic tone.

“Go ahead, tell them cap, we’ll see if they are all as thrilled as I am” TK says.

“I’m going to Los Angeles for a month.” 

“For a vacation or something?” Marjan asks.

“For a damn TV show,” TK cuts.

“A what?” they all ask pretty much at the same time.

“It’s a captain exchange. I will go to  a new station for a month and their captain will come here.”

“Maybe we’ll get a captain that knows how to read a book” Michelle comments, thinking about the first time they met. He didn’t realise that she had arrived. She has a wide smile on her face and Owen counts this as a sign that she’s enjoying the idea, maybe a little too much. “So, who’s that new captain I’m gonna share the station with?” 

“Robert Nash, from Los Angeles’ station 118” Owen replies and Judd and Paul share a look. They are definitely taking note of that guy name to google for info later. “The cameras would be here a few hours a day so you need to sign those contracts.”

“And if we refuse?” Judd asks.

“From what I heard, it’s not like we have much of a choice. But I’m sure you’ll love the new guy.”

“I’m sure we will. But what if we want to keep him at the end of the month?” Michelle teases. 

“Then I guess I’ll stay in LA, with a team that respects and loves me.”

“We love you,” Mateo says.

“Speak for yourself, probie. I might call Robert Dad within the first shift.” TK jokes.

“Remember everything you’ll do can be caught on camera. I’ll know everything. And I know at least one person will miss me.” Owen says. He walks toward Mateo who’s smiling proudly and puts his hand on his shoulder, before bending to stroke Buttercup “You’re my favorite teammate, buddy.” He says to the dog. The team laughs at the disappointed looks on the youngest member’s face before hearing the alarm.

“Do we know anything about the other firehouse?” Paul asks when they climbed into the truck.

“We? We don’t. But I do. They gave me a file with the resume of each member of the 118.”

“Come on, Cap. You’re not gonna share that with us?” His son says. 

“Nop. That’s what you get from not liking my ideas, son.”

Paul and Judd exchange another look and TK knows that they are plotting something. It’s not like Owen is the best at hiding secrets and they all know that file will be on the second drawer of his desk. They won’t even need a distraction to get it since their captain will spend half an hour in the mirror when they’ll get back to the station after this call.

Marjan is driving toward the emergency they are responding to when all the phones except Owen’s start buzzing.

Paul sent a bunch of pictures in their group chat. Owen knows this chat exists and assumes he’s the subject of half the jokes and memes they are sending but he loves that his team gets along so well so he really doesn’t care about it. This time, it’s not him they are laughing at. Paul just sent them pictures and infos about Robert Nash. TK tries not to smile when he reads the texts.

Paul 🚒:It’s on 😈

Cowboy Judd 🤠: Let’s the fun begins

[mewtonian-physics]

An Honest Review of Nancy Drew: Secrets Can Kill

Spoilers under the cut!

Hi! Penny (not that one) here starting out a series of (sometimes brutally) honest reviews of the Nancy Drew games. I’m going to be doing them in order, and I’m not going to hold back, haha.

So my first review is going to be a rather unique one, that’s for sure. After all, this is the only case where I’m technically going to be reviewing TWO games, instead of just one; but they’re similar enough that it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

I’m going to include several different factors in my review of each game. First, the plot; obvious enough. The plot is, after all, the driving force behind the game. I’ll also be talking about what I think of the characters, as well as how fun it is to play/replay, and the general atmosphere/setting of the game too. And, of course, I’ll talk about my opinions of the music. I’m not going to be doing any ratings or anything like that, no numbers will be coming into these reviews; I’m just going to say my honest thoughts. (Even when they are not nice thoughts.)

Please remember that these reviews will be my entirely subjective opinions! If you disagree with me on any points, that’s absolutely your prerogative, and in fact, I’d love to discuss it with you and hear some perspectives aside from my own. These reviews are not meant to hurt or invalidate anyone’s feelings, but only to put forth my own.

So without further ado, my review of Secrets Can Kill!

Plot

Honestly, the plot for both versions is just kind of meh, in my opinion, which is sad because I do love a good murder mystery. This, though... it isn’t really a good murder mystery. It’s just kind of boring. Nancy gets called in by her Aunt Eloise (who, if I recall correctly, is only ever mentioned in one other game and then is forgotten about completely for the rest of the series) to solve the murder of Jake Rogers, a local student. It’s fairly straightforward from there; it turns out, of course, that each of the available suspects had various motives to kill him, because apparently Jake Rogers was kind of an asshole and was blackmailing literally everyone in the game. It then turns into just trying to figure out which of them actually did it... which is where the worst part of the game comes in.

Because none of them did.

It’s literally one of the most bullshit moves I’ve seen pulled by any mystery ever. In the original game, you literally never even hear about the killer until the very end, at which point the game presents him to you on a silver platter, leaving a feeling of deep dissatisfaction and also rage at how stupid it all is. The only possible way you could know anything about him is if you noticed some bolded letters in a book that spelled out his name, which, again. Bullshit. This plot is a nightmare. 

The remastered version is somewhat better, in that the culprit is actually someone you know from the beginning of the game, even though their identity is still blatantly obvious if you’ve played the original. I’m still not giving it any awards, but at least it didn’t fill me with incandescent rage, or anything.

Characters

The characters are okay, if you don’t mind massive stereotypes. We have Hal Tanaka, the classic ‘Asian kid under huge pressure to become a doctor’ cliche, Connie Watson, the athletic girl struggling to be accepted despite her gender, Hector ‘Hulk’ Sanchez, the less-than-a-genius jock, and Daryl Gray, the popular flirt. The remastered version also gives us Detective Beech, a somewhat unimaginative joke based on the ‘Detective Beach’ show that exists in-universe. Oh, and of course, we mustn’t forget Mitch Dillon, despite how utterly forgettable he is, seeing as how he barely exists.

None of these characters really stand out. They all have their own dark secrets--Hal is a plagiarist, Connie entered a men’s judo competition in disguise (and under a horrible pseudonym), Hulk takes steroids, and Daryl is selling secrets from his father’s company. Jake Rogers is actually the most interesting character in the game, which is truly unfortunate, seeing as how he is dead the entire time. The kid was blackmailing everyone, and it got him killed in the end. Meanwhile, Mitch is our sorry excuse for a culprit, although in the remastered version Detective Beech takes his place. But despite all of that, there’s nothing particularly interesting about any of them--they’re pretty one-dimensional characters. The only thing you really get to learn about any of them is whatever secret Jake was using to blackmail them. And you can come up with some of your own content (for example, I firmly believe that Hal has a crush on Hulk), but the problem with that is that you shouldn’t really have to, because the game should be giving you multidimensional and interesting characters already, not requiring you to basically give them personalities yourself.

Gameplay

Yawn. So much yawn. Half of this game is just going around reading secret codes off of bulletin boards. It is incredibly boring. There’s essentially nothing making me want to play either version. Also, the incredible aggravation of having to switch disks when playing the original cannot be overstated. I cut the developers some slack for the original, because it’s the first game in the series and pretty old, but by the remastered version, they really should have figured out how boring it all is. 

Atmosphere

The atmosphere is actually pretty fun! It manages to have this kind of creepy vibe, which is great for a game where you’re dealing with a murdered teenager. And Maxine’s Diner is so incredibly perfect, I would love to hang out there in real life--just so long as I don’t have to talk to Daryl!

Music

The music is another of this game’s stronger points. The original version has this intensely creepy soundtrack with only a few lighter pieces, and it really adds to the effect. The remastered version kind of loses something in that regard, because a lot of the soundtrack ends up being made up of songs you can play on the jukebox at Maxine’s, and... some of them aren’t even worth listening to. I can’t say I’d really go back and relisten to that version, but the original? Absolutely!

Conclusion

This is definitely not one of the strongest games in the series, as far as I’m concerned. It’s actually really low on my list; what could have been a great plot was spoiled by incoherent writing decisions, flat characters, and boring gameplay, and the more enjoyable atmosphere and music just couldn’t save it. It’s with a heavy heart that I have to say... the developers really dropped the ball on this one.

So that review was definitely more on the ‘brutally honest’ side, unfortunately. However, this is one of the lowest points in the series--it’ll be mostly uphill from here, I promise.

See you next time, when I review game #2: Stay Tuned for Danger!

[mobagehelllocal]

While reading leona's part in “wendy?” “hello peter pan” i thought for a split second that mc's green eyed daughter was Leona's child and thus that mc didn't know she was pregnant when she left the mirror ! 😯

Oooh! Honestly, I hadn’t really intended it to seem that way.

To really explain this, I have to go into my image of Leona, and why I chose to portray him as is. This will contain spoilers for those who haven’t read “wendy?” “hello peter pan”, so please avert your gaze if you have yet to read it!

This is also lengthy, so if you want, I put a TLDR at the very bottom. HAHAH.

PS: to make something clear, Twisted Wonderland is a work of fiction. Therefore everything—from story to character is truly up to interpretation. I’m just giving a reasoning behind why I chose to write Leona the way I do. At the end of the day, I will not begrudge you for portraying Leona differently from me. I just really want to share the way I understand him. Perhaps this could help, perhaps it won’t—either way it was fun to think about this. ^^

I knew from the start that I wanted the daughter to be the image of what Leona could’ve had.

Here’s something you probably wouldn’t figure out from my writings: I originally disliked Leona.

Now! Before you go clicking off, let me explain.

Savannaclaw’s story is sandwiched between Heartslabyul and Octavinelle--both of which are very emotionally driven narratives. I’ll try not to spend too long on these two houses, but look at it this way.

We can empathize with Riddle because he suffered a lot in the process of upholding his mother’s teachings. He put up with it because it had to be the truth--as if they were false this whole time, then he was suffering for nothing. So when you come in, and prove exactly that--it makes sense for Riddle to lash out the way he does.

Let’s not get started on Azul. We empathize with Azul because we all have that one bully, one person we want to either get even with--or become better than. Azul was bullied extensively in his childhood, and just snapped. He, with nothing in his hands, decided he would take everything away from his bullies. In the process of taking away from his bullies, he would build himself into someone infallible. He distanced himself from his past because he was ashamed of that part of him. So when all that hard work is snatched away by someone more fortunate than him? When even the indestructible version he had built himself to be is beaten? It meant to Azul that he hadn’t changed at all, that he was still that bullied octopus. He snapped. It might’ve been a big middle finger to Azul because it essentially invalidated all the hard work he put into being someone who could.

Then what about Leona?

The emotional drive behind Leona’s Overblot is exhaustion at being seen as the inferior second prince to his brother. In fact, it’s generally his inability to become number one. In Afterglow Savanna, he has to go up against his well-loved and preferred brother. In Night Raven College, he has to go up against Malleus Draconia, the strongest student.

Here’s the thing though, and this is my personal gripe about Leona--which tbh, I would still call him out for.

He doesn’t try.

Or if he did try, we don’t see him do it.

We see him laze about, doing nothing. Yeah sure he comes up with an underhanded strategy that could help them win against Diasomnia--but he actually barely does anything. And the moment it doesn’t work, he just concedes. It pisses him off, but he gives up. Just like that.

It’s also why him turning into the Overblot feels... (personally) so lacking to me. Like, I felt he had no place to get angry, when others (especially like Ruggie) were relying on him to pull it together at the end. Like, we all knew Leona would get the Overblot because he’s the Scar themed character. But narratively speaking? A stronger story would’ve been Ruggie being the Overblot, and Leona reacting to it. (Like do you know, how amazing that would be for Leona’s character to? I want to see it so bad!)

At the end of the day, we got an angry Leona. To me, at that time, his anger felt so entitled. Like, Leona’s always been seen as incredibly smart, skilled PLUS he’s also really wealthy. So to me, I just thought, “how could you be so angry when you’re so lucky to have all of this? In fact, why can’t you use that anger and turn it into a determination to make yourself better? You’re smart, you’re skilled, you have the resources--if you exerted more effort, I think you could get farther.”

I still think the Savannaclaw chapter could’ve been better, but I’ve also realized that it’s because Leona is the way he is, that makes it impossible to resolve his problems the same way Riddle or Azul is able to.

‘Ai, when will you stop bullying Leona?’

Hang on, I’m actually done, and I’ll finally get into why Leona’s story in “wendy?” “hello peter pan” turned out the way it did.

There are two people, aside from me, who actually gets to read these pieces before I post it on tumblr. They  don’t know each other, they’ve never spoken to one another--the most they know about each other is probably from whatever I say to them about the other. And here’s the thing, they both told me this: “Leona is the best one you wrote from “wendy?” “hello peter pan.””  

Of course, I’m instantly confused. I didn’t like Leona when I first wrote anything for Twisted Wonderland, by the time I was writing his piece from the series (he and Riddle were written days ahead of the rest actually) I was 50/50 on him. I was okay with him, but I certainly didn’t like him. So I did a lot of internal introspection about this.

I realized that at the end of the day, I understood what Leona was angry about.

It wasn’t anger about being stuck at second place.

It was anger about never being acknowledged in the first place.

He was never seen as Leona Kingscholar, he was simply The Second Prince of Afterglow Savanna, or Prince Farena’s Younger Brother. He never was acknowledged as his own person.

And here lies another problem. I believe Leona is someone who represses. I think he’s someone who prefers to shut his eyes and sleep, over acknowledging the problem. He decided to sleep instead of confronting Jack’s bullies in that short manga strip, he doesn’t confront Jack’s bullies in the SSR Card Dorm uniform either until he really needs to. He’ll put it off as long as he can, and if it solves itself, then that’s better for him. This ties in with the idea the fact that he’s seen as someone inferior to Farena, how he’s never acknowledged beyond that, and how it’s an opinion he can’t control. So he just decides to let it be, and keeps all his feelings to himself. Because acknowledging ugly feelings are always so exhausting, crying, getting angry--these things are exhausting, and he must’ve felt or had pent up all these emotions so much so that he’s decided the easiest way is to just leave them be. Not acknowledge them, and don’t think too deeply about it.

I had, ironically, written Leona’s piece, while unconsciously knowing this.

Leona’s piece in “wendy?” “hello peter pan” is a result of his own inaction. We all know that Leona’s cool and calm demeanor is what makes him so popular and attractive. That’s why him not expressing his true feelings is something we all, just know he does. Because that’s his character trope. However, it’s because he choses not to share his feelings that the MC leaves, and moves on with her life.

Remember, I said that Leona will “put it off for as long as he can, and if it solves itself, then that’s better for him.” Leona, at the beginning of the piece finally decides to take action. The MC being missing has probably put a toll on his otherwise impeccable control of his emotions. He wants to drag her back, claim her, make her his wife, have children with her--all of it. He realized that he wanted that, and that’s what sends him into action. However, he’s late. Very late.

The third portion of his piece, when he looks at Leona II, and realized what he could have had--the way he visualized that possible future--he lets himself have that because he realized that it’s because he didn’t try harder to hold onto her, that this future was no longer possible.

Making Leona II have features that could’ve looked like him was so intentional on my part. I wanted to confront Leona’s character with this: “this is what you could’ve had if you had been more proactive” because I personally thought, that this was what we were missing from Leona. It’s what we didn’t get in Savannaclaw--a Leona who became more proactive about the things he wanted.

Everyone else had that arc after all. Riddle, a stickler for the rules set up by his mother realized that some rules can be broken for the sake of empathy. Azul, who had denied his past self, learned to accept his past self and mistakes, and moves to become someone even greater.

We don’t get that from Leona, and I think that’s why my piece ended up the way it did.

THIS... became way too long, and I’m really sorry for that. I hope you don’t mind that I really... just... expressed what I thought about Leona and the type of mindspace I go into when I write pieces for him.

If anyone is interested in adding to this discourse, I definitely encourage you--be it if you agree or disagree with me.

TLDR: Yeah, I would’ve never given that moment of “she’s actually your daughter” to Leona because he needed to confront his lack of proactiveness.

Thank you so much for this ask!