#Barcode looks so so pretty here

[copperbadge]

Recently I ran across an article about an art center that was doing creative expression classes for people with disabilities. Not that unusual, I've encountered that and trauma-oriented art therapy before, but it was the first time I'd come across the idea since getting diagnosed with ADHD. While the class was aimed more at high-needs disabilities, it occurred to me that I could -- if I wanted -- make non-prose art about being disabled.

Outside of my work in scene design I've never been much of a visual artist because I've never felt I had the combination of "something to say" and "a meaningful way to say it", but I started to question how meaningful and complex I really had to be to just make some statements about having ADHD. I can do it in prose, after all.

So I started thinking about how you would talk, in visual language, about things like time blindness, shame stemming from undiagnosed disability, the shift in behavior that medication can induce. Ways to express my condition to people who don't experience it. I still didn't really know how to build the pieces but whenever I went to an art museum I'd think about how I might do a gallery installation. The centerpiece of my mental gallery was a pair of barcodes, one marked "Neurotypical" and one marked "Neurodivergent".

[ID: An interior view of a small booklet, with pages marked 1 and 2, showing barcodes -- on the left, labeled Neurotypical, and on the right, in slightly weirder configuration, labeled Neurodivergent.]

And then I thought, why not make a zine? Nothing you're thinking of couldn't be put in zine form instead of on a gallery wall.

[ID: The booklet continues to pages 3 and 4; on page 3 is a postage-style label reading AUTISM with up arrows on either side, and on page 4 is a QR code labeled ADHD. The QR code technically should work but it just dumps a block of text I wrote about having ADHD into a browser.]

I grew up with zine culture in the 90s and I always wanted to make one but much like with visual art, I never felt like I had the right kind of thing to say; either I had too much to say or too little, and anyway I wasn't confident that what I wanted to do wouldn't just come off as trite and obvious. But you can make a six-page zine out of a single sheet of paper, so I did: I made Helpful Labels For Strange Brains by idab zines, a division of Extribulum Press. (i--dab is a term for a cuneiform tablet that contains a royal communication.)

[ID: The last two pages feature the same image -- a cereal bowl with a spoon in it, the spoon containing a single Adderall pill. One image, however, is captioned "Wake up. Pour yourself a cup of iced coffee. Fix a bowl of cereal. It's going to be a good day." while the other is covered in a detailed ADHD-style step-by-step process for the same actions, culminating in "It's going to be a day like that."]

I'm pretty pleased with how it came out -- the art all looks intentional and it still has that "taped this together after school" aesthetic I remember fondly from the 90s. And the confines of six pages, each only a few inches square, offers a good structure to keep things clear, simple, and meaningful.

[ID: The cover of the zine, labeled "Helpful Labels For Strange Brains" in a kind of esoteric stampy font.]

Especially nice is that if you wanted to you could just hand out the flat sheet, and let folks fold it into a booklet or not -- there's instructions for folding it on the back of the zine. Additionally I have some sticker backed printer paper so I could print it such that you could literally turn the labels into real labels.

Anyway if you want it, here ya go. You can print it on a single sheet of paper and follow the instructions on the back to fold it. I thought about selling it but I do not have the spoons to do a bunch of printing and folding and shipping.

[cattjull]

PART 2 HERE

Summary: You just hoped that this rich girl that came in the store was gay and that she was willing to give you some money, of course.

A/N: Ik it's short but I plan on making much chapters ok

God, she was so hot.

She entered the store with the most perfect gait you'd ever seen, wearing a gray tank top that suited her perfectly molded body, mom jeans tight enough to leave you drooling at the sight of her ass and white designer shoes, whatever their brand was.

Maybe she was gay. No, she had to be gay. Maybe she was the kind of girl that liked spoiling young girls like you. She had to be.

She wasn't only pretty, she was putting stuff into her bag like nothing. All the perfumes and lotions she saw, everything. And let's just say you had a thing for rich girls.

She came closer to the register where you were, biting your lip slightly until you noticed she was right in front of you and snapped out of it.

"Seems like I'll eat well this week." You joked as you scanned the barcodes of the products, causing her to chuckle.

"You're funny." She said with a cocky grin, looking at you with those gorgeous blue eyes.

"Thank you." You smiled, feeling the apples of your cheeks reddening. After a little bit, you spoke again. "So who's the lucky girl?"

"What makes you think this is not for me?" She asked teasingly.

"You didn't even look what you were putting in your basket." You said with a little smirk before noticing how much of a stalker you must have sound.

"I'm single, if that's your question." She said with a chuckle as you put all the products in a bag, trying to hide the smile in your face.

"How will you-"

"Card." She interrupted you, holding you a card. You swiped it in the card reader, and you examined the card for a while, looking for her name.

"I like your name, Abigail."

"You can call me Abby."

You wrote down your number on the ticket and put it inside the bag.

"Please, text me, Abby." You almost pleaded with your most sultry voice, handing her the full bag.

"Trust me, I will." She said with a wink before walking out of the store, leaving you staring her up and down before you lost her from sight.

Taglist: @elliessgfsstuff @giuliaexe66 @playboygirlsnextdoor00 @justhereforthosefics

[leonardcohenofficial]

vinyl + turntable basic info / general tips

while i am by no means a real audiophile or vinyl expert here are some tips that have worked for me over my almost two decades of collecting!

turntables + speakers

do not buy suitcase players. i cannot overstate this enough. do not buy suitcase players. the all-in-one players are generally cheaper, but there isn't enough support from the platter because they are smaller than 12 inch LPs. this can lead to shitty sound quality, the needle can fall out of the groove, and you can actually break your records. save up and pay a little more and get a proper turntable

there is a lot of debate about belt vs. direct drive turntables (belt drive turntables use a belt to spin the turntable while direct drive turntables have the motor directly under the platter) and which is better. very generally speaking if you want better sound quality, belt drive is the way to go; if you want a player that's a little easier to use that's also a little more durable, direct drive is a better option (most DJ turntables are also direct drive, as a side note)

i currently have three turntables and they are all audio-technica, which is a well respected brand (especially for beginners)—i have an AT-LP60X ($149) which is a belt driven player, as well as two AT-LP120XUSB ($349 each) which i use for practicing DJing/selecting. i also have a stanton M.203 mixer (insane to me that it's listed for $350 on amazon, i paid eighty bucks for mine on ebay), audio-technica ATH-M20x headphones (they were a gift but are listed for $49 on amazon) and a set of edifier R1280DB bluetooth speakers ($149). the speakers are hooked up directly into my mixer, but because both the speakers and the AT-LP60X are bluetooth, i can also play records on that turntable too

change your needle! general rule of thumb is to replace your needle every thousand hours of listening; for the average person if you change it once a year you should be good, i'm on the cautious side and change them every six months

i really like my setup; it's on the cheaper side when it comes to "grownup" gear but true audiophiles would probably scoff at my basics. regardless of what you end up getting, a decent turntable that doesn't have the speakers built in that fits within your budget and a good set of speaker or headphones is all you need

buying records

any time that you can, i recommend buying vinyl directly from the artist! whether it's through bandcamp their website or at a show i think it's better to buy direct when you can (and often times it's cheaper than buying through a third party)

when you can, buy local. not only is it good to support independently owned shops, developing a relationship with local music people is great and if they're good they'll start to know you/your tastes. it also allows you to get good at crate digging, because you never know what you're going to find in a dollar section

utilize listening stations if the store has them! people can be pretty fast and loose with grading used records, so it's better to listen to it and see if the audio quality corresponds with the price (i don't always buy mint/nearly mint records and can tolerate a fair amount of noise but not if i'm being ripped off lmfao)

look things up on discogs to see if you're getting ripped off. not only is discogs great for keeping track of your collection (also you can friend me here!), the online marketplace is great for checking average sale prices for a given release. also handy for seeing how rare a release is!

buying records on discogs can be a crapshoot, ebay even more so. read seller's reviews; if there's feedback that they generally grade conservatively, that's a good thing

i have such a large collection that maintaining a record of what i have is really necessary; discogs is really fantastic for this. you can even scan barcodes on specific releases to find them through the discogs app! it's super handy for me as sometimes i forget that i have certain albums already and end up buying multiple copies and having to get rid of them (i need to get better at cataloguing immediately after i get new stuff, i currently have about forty five records i still need to add lmfao)

storing + maintaining records

keep your records clean! get a good cleaning kit and have microfiber cloths on hand to keep your vinyl as dust free as possible. also use those storage sleeves, it makes a different in keeping your records cleaner longer

a general rule of vinyl storage that i learned from the owner of the shop that i've been going to since i was nine years old is to store them in less than 70 degrees F environments with less than 70% humidity (funnily enough this is apparently the same rule for cigars)

i recommend those ikea square storage bookcases, as they're generally study, aren't too expensive, are pretty easy to put together, and hold a lot of records (do not store your records in milk crates long term)

actually listen to your records! there are very few releases i keep sealed for the sake of keeping them in mint condition. vinyl can be a very expensive habit (800+ records later i am living proof lol) but it's no fun to keep them sitting around. have fun collecting and play your music!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi! can i request ken x (male) reader who’s from texas and breaking ken’s idea of the patriarchy (mostly the realities of cowboy life lol) thank you!!

"Now what're you supposed to be, a cowboy or somethin'? Because it looks like you're goin' to a fashion show upstate."

Blinking owlishly, Ken spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with you. He looked at your clothing up and down, noting you had a hat similar to his, along with ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and a buttoned plaid shirt.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion, not seeing an apparent difference.

Nevertheless, he realized you were another human male who was trying to talk to him, and he was excited! This was his big chance to learn more about the patriarchy of the Real World!

But he didn't wanna let his eagerness show too much, so he leaned against a nearby pillar, keeping the books tucked against his side.

"Nah, I ain't goin' to no fashion show....partner..." He made a poor attempt at mimicking your accent, which he noted was heavily Southern, and it took all your willpower not to laugh your ass off.

Yet you couldn't help chuckling anyways, which made the blond pout as he adjusted the brim of his hat. "Awh I'm only teasin'." You shook your head. "I will say it does fit ya pretty good. Haven't seen anything like that back in Texas."

"...oh really? Thanks!" He put a big smile back on, trying to sound cool and casual. "Sounds like a fun place. I'm just here..seeing what this world's all about...getting accustomed to the patriarchy. Man, I wish Barbie told me about-"

"Hold on..." You stopped him in his tracks, being perplexed by several things he just said. "What about the patriarchy? You act as though it's a lifestyle-"

"Is it not? Because I see it all around us!" He spread his arms out. "It's incredible! Everything's backwards but yet...I'm just amazed! This world caters to us men!" Then he stepped closer, showing you the books in his hands depicting studies of horses and patriarchy, a sparkle in his eye. "Look, these books have already taught me so much!"

You blinked, taking one of them and frowning as you recognized the barcode as being from the school your cousin attended. "Ya realize you stole these from a school library, right-?"

"Back in Barbieland, we Kens had none of this stuff!!" He ignored your remark, yanking the book from your hands as he continued to babble on and on and how "awesome" the patriarchy is while pointing to a nearby horse statue.

He's acting as though this was the first time he's ever heard of it, firmly believing that it's all about men and horses.

That would've convinced you that this guy was either insane or living under a rock all his life....had he not mentioned "Barbieland", "Barbie", and "Ken".

'As in...the dolls my little cousins played with?' You pondered. 'Well it would certainly explain the outlandish outfit..and how it doesn't look like any lights are on upstairs...'

"So.." You cleared your throat, he was quick to shut up and let you continue, blinking as you offered your hand. "Before I forget...the name's [y/n]. A pleasure to meet ya."

He studied your gesture intensely, before putting forth his manliest handshake possible, his eyes lighting up when you laughed and complimented his strong grip. "And I'm Ken, the pleasure's all mine."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Well, [y/n]. You seem to embody everything a human man is, so...you got any advice for a fellow man who only just recently learned of all these great luxuries?" He raised an eyebrow.

You thought about it for a few moments, letting his hand go as your gaze went back to the books tucked under his arm. "Yeah, uh..for one, ya seem to be holdin' onto this "idea" that patriarchy's all about the horses. I hate to break it to ya....but it ain't that simple."

"....wait, it's not..?" He blinked in bewilderment, looking to the books and frowning. "Are you sure? Because these books told me-"

"They're outdated an' used for history projects at school. They don't accurately showcase modern cowboy culture, which is what ya seem to be enthralled with."

"...these don't???" His voice became higher-pitched, becoming utterly devastated that he was lied to. "But if it's not about horses..then...then what about the statues, hm? And those officers riding them?!"

"Ken..in this world anybody can ride a horse if they wanted to. You just happen to see more guys than gals doin' it."

"Oh..."

"Look, it's true that more men are in charge of stuff here in LA, but the patriarchy is really just a messy system that harms both sides." You frowned slightly. "It ain't somethin' I'd wanna idolize."

"...but why?"

You sighed, unsure of how you could possibly dumb it down for him even further. "'cuz it's turned some of my own friends and family into vile dirtbags who think the world owes them everything. I'd hate to see ya fall down that same pipeline."

He nodded in slight understanding, but seemed rather sad as he hugged the books to his chest, feeling like his dreams were shattered just as he began to realize them..

"I thought it was just like Barbieland..."

"Ya'll got a matriarchy there?"

"...I guess..? They write all the constitutions and stuff."

"And...how do they treat ya?"

"Like we're accessories." Ken huffed, eyebrows knitted together in frustration. "They aren't terrible, but...I only have a good day when Barbie looks at me..which...hasn't been happening lately. I was thinking if I could show her the cool horses and stuff...she'll see me differently. See me for the man I can be."

You never expected for this conversation to derail into you trying to resolve a doll's identity crisis, but it's clear he was holding onto the misconception that the "Real World" was just opposite of Barbieland--where men had it all here and ruled without flaw.

That was far from the truth.

"Now changin' yourself for a lady isn't what ya wanna do, son." You patted his shoulder, causing him to look up at you in astonishment. "You're good enough as you are. But I take it that deep down...ya just care about the horses?"

He nodded again.

"Then..how about instead of reading this misleading garbage--" You tapped the binder of one of the books "--ya talk to someone who's lived the authentic cowboy life? Somebody with experience?"

Looking all around, he seemed confused for a moment, before his gaze returned to yours. "Like....you?"

"Yup."

"Isn't being a man and wearing this not enough?"

"It's a wee bit more complicated than that. It's hard work. But if you're interested in that sort of life, I can tell ya all about it." You offered, smiling as you watched the grin return to his face.

"I'd love that. Now if I don't need these stupid books, then I'll just--" He went to toss the stack into the nearest trash bin, but you were quick to intervene.

"Hey, hey, hey! Ya can't just throw away school property like that!"

"...but you just called this "garbage"."

"It's a figure of speech, Ken." Sighing, you just shook your head, taking the books off his hands. "You'll learn a lot about that here. Let's just go return these and I'll tell ya all about my life back in Texas. Whatever ya wanna know, I'll do my best to answer."

Ken's eyes shimmered at the prospect of hanging out with another guy..like all the other humans he's seen. That's all he truly wanted, really--just to bond with someone and not be in some aggressive rivalry unlike what he had with the other Kens.

He's lucky he ran into you.

"Can I ask something now?"

"Sure..if it's less than ten words." You humored him.

"Do..you..own..horses..? That's four." He grinned, counting on his fingers just to be sure of it.

"I do. Poor things couldn't take the dry heat of Texas, so they came along with me in a truck. I'll show ya pictures after we return these books."

Ken nodded eagerly, unable to hide his excitement as he followed you back to the library, ready to learn more about your culture.

[love-3-crimes]

Hey cj fandom! It's currently the 29th of January, which means that yesterday was the last day of the week long strike for Palestine. I apologize for not making a more official post for this earlier. I just wanted to come on here to try to sort of give ideas for what you can do to support Palestinians that should either not require money or just a small amount, and that I have personally done before.

---

For boycotting, there is an app called "No Thanks" (Here's a link to my original post) that tells you whether something is on the boycott list just by scanning the barcode. Very easy to use and it should be available on most phones.

---

For more information on propaganda and anti-Palestine talking points, I recommend reading Advocating for Palestine. It's a very short booklet, about 16 pages, and it comes in English, Arabic, German, French, Spanish, and Mandarin.

---

One way to get your voice heard is by contacting your representatives. Emailing, calling, anything to get their attention! The way to contact them will depend on which country you live in. For Americans, if you don't know who your representative is, use the congress find-your-member website, put your city/state, and a list of members will pop up with their info!

For the Australian representatives, use this website for the list of members, and for Europe there is a website called Voices in Europe for Peace that helps you get in touch with officials from your country. (It also has template you can copy and paste which is pretty cool!)

---

Now for E-SIMS! I'll be honest about this one, I don't know much about how these work exactly, but!!! I was given a link to this tweet that has a pretty good step-by-step of how to get E-SIMS to people in Gaza who need them! Though from what I've seen, they take about a month to activate and be used, so just a warning.

---

And, of course, the once-a-day click to help the UNRWA, who have been helping Palestinian refugees for many, many years. This one is especially important right now, as many countries have cut funding to them (more on this post)

---

One of the most important things you can do right now is listen and learn. Listen to Palestinian voices, uplift them, read their poems and stories and look at their art. Remember that they are human too. They are still alive! Don't forget about them, please.

[dancy-nrew]

Happy Secret Samol @humanmorph !!! Yo ho ho a pirates life for you!

Id in alt text and also below the cut for legibility

Image one: An Alise Breka book cover. The illustration (meant to resemble an oil painting) features Leap and Figure A back to back, Figure A closer to the camera and Leap behind them. Leap is in a tie dye hoodie, Figure A has a dramatic collar welded to their round torso. Each are holding a sword and fending off attacks on all sides. Laser beams zip across the screen. The title of the book is “High Seas and Distant Stars” and is written on a yellow band across the top of the page. There is a simplified drawing of palisade as a logo for Palisade Publishing. There is a barcode across the bottom left.

Image two and three: Mockup of the inside of the book. Text reads:

The pirate captain, devastatingly handsome — or devastating and handsome, if you put the question to the unlucky sailors across many planet’s seas — lounged about the deck of the ship. A foul wind had blown through the port in the night, and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon. Disadvantageous, and perhaps more terribly, incredibly dull. Exeter Leap had faced down gods and kings and only laughed in their faces; to be trapped here by a measly turn in the weather made his plating itch.

They’d been here a week already, despite no small effort to leave. Unloading, his first mate insisted, takes time if they want it done properly. Leap had insisted he’d never done anything properly in his life and didn’t plan on starting now, but Figure A had tilted their head in that way they had and explained that properly meant more money, which, he supposed, was hard to argue with. Especially considering their other delay. The Bluebird had taken substantial cannon fire in their last battle, and was desperately in need of repairs, as well as the more tedious maintenance work that went into keeping a ship of its size and purpose in fit fighting shape.

So the minutes ticked into hours ticked into days, and here they are, still.

“I’m not a man meant to stay still,” he complains, staring out over the roiling waves.

”Still: up to and including the present or the time mentioned, or still: not moving or making a sound?”

Leap jumps, but only slightly. A pirate can never be too surprised, but he hadn’t realized he had company, lost in thoughts as turbulent as the sea. The familiar red and gold form of his friend leaning next to him is a welcome sight. “Oh- Uh. Both. Either. Not still here, or still physically.”

Figure A nods in easy understanding. They’re better at patience, at being in one place, but Leap thinks they have something restless about them, too. They lean forward as if they have something more to say but then-! A shout! The familiar blistering heat of a laser beam sipping past inches from his face! A scorch mark across metal! Leaps springs into action as

FREE READING PREVIEW LIMIT REACHED

FULL BOOK DOWNLOAD: 45 GLINT

INSTALLMENT PAYMENTS AVAILABLE !

WHOLE BOOK IN 4 ACTS, EASY PAYMENTS OF 15 GLINT EACH!

EXTRAS AND BEHIND THE SCENES CONTENT (AN INTERVIEW WITH THE CAPTAIN HIMSELF!) 25 GLINT!

Image four: A series of sketches of Leap and Figure A.

First sketch; Leap has his arms crossed saying “Thats not how any of that happened!” as he looks over Figure A’s shoulder as they read the book. They laugh and say “I think it’s fun!

Second sketch; Figure A points at the cover and says “Look at my cool collar” as Leap leans forward to look at it and says “it is pretty sick…”

Third sketch: Leap welding a big metal pirate coat-like collar onto Figure A’s torso as they giggle

Fourth Sketch; Leap grins and asks “How’s that?” Figure A says “Thank yo-“ but bonks their face into the collar as they turn their head

Fifth sketch; very small at the bottom of the page. Leap has a hand over his mouth. Figure A’s head slumps forward as they sigh.

[buttsmasher]

The Time Vinny came to the Pharmacy

Tags/Warnings: Face Farting, Gay Face Farting, Willing Victim, Underwear Farting, Semi-Public

You lay across the counter, another boring day at the pharmacy. You’re scrolling through Instagram when you have to stop and stare at a picture your high school crush, Vinnie, posted. It’s a side view of him lifting a barbell and it highlights his arms, and that ass that you always wanted to be near in high school. The caption read, “It looks like leg day has been really paying off.” You, of course, double tap the photo.

“Yeah, that was a pretty good photo.” You look up to see Vinnie standing in front of you giving you his signature smile. All of your high school memories come rushing back and you quickly remember why he was your crush. 6’3”, charming smile, hot body, and he was honestly one of the nicest guys in town. “Not to brag or anything.” His smile disarms any awkwardness you might have felt. 

“What brings you in?” You ask putting your phone away, giving him your full attention.

“I’m here for a prescription.” 

“Gotcha.” You go ahead and enter his name into the system and quickly grab his prescription. “So how’s life going?” You make small talk as you scan the barcode of the prescription bag.

“Oh you know, just trying to survive the end of the world.” You both chuckle. “But my girlfriend broke up with me so... trying to get over that.” 

“Sorry to hear it man. It’s $15.12.”

“Yeah, she said I was going to the gym too much. And she said I was too gassy for her.” He pulls out a credit card and hands it to you. 

“Gassy?” You raise your eyebrow as you take his card.

“Yeah. It’s probably the protein shakes because they go right through me. But imagine being broken up with because you’re too gassy.” You shake your head, not able to imagine it. 

“Sounds like to me you need someone who’d appreciate your gassiness.” You give him a wink as you hand him his card back and prescription. You then go back to leaning onto the counter, elbows on the counter with your head being cradled by your heads.

“Is that so?” He looks you up and down briefly before leaning onto the counter himself.  “Do you know anyone, within a, oh I don’t know, one minute radius because I got some big ones brewing.” 

“Hmm,” You pretend to think about it. “Carla I’m going on break!” You yell to the pharmacist on duty. You walk out from the employee section and gesture towards Vinnie to follow you into the exam room. 

He doesn’t miss a beat, he follows and you close the door and lock it. Before he even says anything you are on your knees pulling at his gym shorts. His boxer briefs are a bit sweaty, most likely he came straight from the gym.It doesn’t stop you from smashing your nose into his musky crack and taking a deep whiff. It’s intoxicating, and you let out this small moan that just makes Vinnie laugh. 

“I haven’t even farted yet.” He jokes as he lets you inhale his scent. 

“Sorry, sorry, you just smell…”

PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT

He lets a harsh fart that interrupts your sentence. You don’t even try to finish the sentence, instead you just focus your energy on inhaling the toxic air. It’s bad, and you kind of understand why his girlfriend broke up with him.The smell reminds you of a skunk and it’s just pure rotten ass fumes. You can’t help the fact that you’re so painfully erect.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Vinnie chuckles. “I just couldn’t hol’ it in anymore.”

“It’s good.” Your voice is strained but you give him a thumbs up. 

“Man, you must of inhaled all of it, because I didn’t get a whiff of it up here.” He wiggles his body a little bit bouncing you in between his butt cheeks. “Shit I just may need to keep you around as my fart vacuum.” 

“No complaints here.” You pull your nose out his ass and begin to stand up causing him to push you back down.

“I didn’t say I was finished.” He wraps his hand in your hair before pulling you back against his sweaty undies. 

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT

This one was even worse than the previous. It was horrid and you honestly kind of wanted to pull your face away. But before you even get a chance to appreciate that last bomb, he’s hitting you with more gas.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PFFFFFFFFTTTT PFFFFFFBBRRFFFFFFFFTTTT

He wasn’t joking when his girlfriend said he was gassy. You did your best to keep up with his butt bombs, but you feel yourself starting to get dizzy from only being able to breathe in his rotten egg smelling farts. You forcibly pull away from his ass and take a deep breath in before you push your nose back in against his clothed hole.

PFFFFFFFF PFFFFFTT

He lifts his leg as two squeakers expel from his nasty ass. “Fuck.” You groan as you keep taking loud huffs. “Jesus christ, how do you have so much gas?” You pant as you pull away from his ass again.

“I’m telling ya, it’s gotta be the protein shakes.” You try to catch your breath.

“Fuck man.” You wipe your forehead where there’s sweat beading on your face. 

“You want more?” He’s biting his lip like he’s holding a big one in.

“Hell yeah!” You don’t waste any time getting back into position.

“It’s a big one, do you think you can take it?” He warns.

“Take your best shot, big guy.” You give a playful smack against his ass.

“Your funeral.” He starts grunting, and for a moment you’re honestly worried that he’s about to shit himself.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

He lets out the loudest and nastiest fart you’ve ever heard. And the smell is god awful. Somehow mixing all sorts of horrid scents that you didn’t think were possible. At first you smelled rotten eggs, but then somewhere around the 5 second mark it went to old garbage, and then another few seconds and it was sewage. There wasn’t any way you couldn’t pull away from that.

You are hacking up a lung as Vinnie laughs at you. “I warned you man.”

“Fuck. I didn’t know you were that brutal.” You gag, somehow getting a taste of his nasty brew. “I-I don’t think I can take anymore.”

“That’s fine.” He reaches down and pulls his shorts up. “It’s not every day I get to bomb someone.”

“Well if you were dating me, that wouldn’t be a problem.” You try to turn the situation in your favor, but you’re still trying to catch your breath.

“Hm, how bout we get coffee first.” 

“Deal.” You say as he helps you get back on your feet. 

“You think you can go back to work?” You give a thumbs up as he helps walk back to the employee area.

“What did you do to him?” Clara takes you from Vinnie and then scrunches her face. “God you stink.” She moves her face as far away as she can. “God, that’s awful, you need to go home.” She kind of pushes you away and Vinnie catches you again. You both kind of laugh before Vinnie helps you out to your car.

“You free tomorrow?” You ask nervously.

“Yeah, meet me at the Piñata Cafe at 10:00.” 

“Cool.” You give him a small wave. 

When your door is closed and his back is to you, you start dancing. You’ve got a date with Vinnie, your high school dream almost fulfilled.

[faef43]

PLS LOOK THE REBLOGGED POST I MADE OF THIS POST TO CONTINUE MY TIPS

HERE ARE SOME TIPS PLUS STORES TO AVOID

ALWAYS ADDING MORE SO CHECK BACK

I’ve been lifting for awhile and have collected some good tips and tricks on how to not get caught or be put in a system

-CAMERAS/MAIN TIPS-

I mainly lift small things like makeup, jewelry, small skincare, rings, pins, if it’s a good day maybe small lotions, but lifting clothes tips are coming soon!! (fixing spelling/grammar errors <3)

First of all, wear a mask and if you can style your hair in a way you usually don’t or use a beanie, bucket hat, baseball cap, never a sun hat way too suspicious. Ex. for hair: braids, space buns, slicked back, etc. I wouldn’t suggest lifting if you have brightly colored hair unless you want to go as far as to wear a realistic enough looking natural wig. Never wear sunglasses with a mask or a hat on, very suspicious, they will catch on. While finding blind spots never just turn around to face the wall and start stuffing your pockets and bag(s), instead stand at a 3/4 angle and be slick, I suggest lifting things while walking through a crowed isle, section, or doing it while walking, this one usually works if you have something small you can make it look like you’re adjusting your sleeves. ALWAYS GRAB 2 OF THE ITEM U WANT 2 LIFT, make the second one less apparent you have it, but if you take two and always keep one apparently in your hand, the cameras will be fooled. You have to have some sort of fingernails to scratch off price tags/barcodes/stickers, trust me when lifting you don’t want those on there. Take them off, rip them up and stuff it in your pocket or stuff somewhere non apparent, never throw them on the ground, super obvious. Don’t wear all baggy clothing, it’s really suspicious, always do the half half trick, half of your outfit baggy, half tight. Ex. Really tight shirt, hella baggy pants, really baggy hoodie, tight ass jeans or leggings. That way they won’t suspect you. If doing the baggy hoodie, always wear a secure sports bra underneath if u wear bras, great for slipping stuff into when pretending to adjust your bra, make sure your double of the product you want to lift is visible. By all means do not steal from target, they have high trained LP, workers that dress up as normal shoppers that they send to areas where they seek suspicion to spy on you, they keep you in a data base and share info/pics of you with other targets, cameras are nearly always monitored, store security is present, they let you walk out with things but eventually will confront you. The decision to call the police has already been made, target is a scary place, if you are gonna lift do only a 3-6 dollar thing, only once. Their employees count clothes for dressing rooms often times, pretty scary place stay safe. Some cameras are smoke detectors/speakers,boxes on the ceiling ect. Usually they’ll have some sort of light that’s always on, they look a little chunky or too far away from the ceiling. Claire’s has a ton of these so be carful, but their earrings don’t have any censors on them so they’re a great store for beginners. Interact with this post and I’ll add more too this blog♡ . -CLOTHING TIPS- If a clothing store does not have fitting rooms, don’t even try, they’ll immediately catch on+security cameras are your number one snitch. You’re gonna want to pay attention to if store employees suspect you. Ex. Fixing up areas that you’re at or around u, constant asking if you’re finding everything ok, maybe they’ll offer a store basket or bag, asking if you need anything in specific, any constant attention really. If they are leave the store, come back like a week later and try again. Your gonna wanna bring a hook with you to remove ink tags/clothing alarms while in fitting room, keep it down and try to pick a fitting room away from others to avoid suspicion. Some stores have employees stand in empty stalls next to you and listen so be aware and careful. If there are price tags try stuffing them behind the mirror or on in the landings on the floor, they’re sometimes rubber, don’t leave shit on the floor, if they already suspect u, they’ll check the fitting room when you come out. As for the alarms/ink tags, put them in ur pocket and discreetly shove them in another piece of clothing, remember to ALWAYS CHECK POCKETS ON CLOTHING.im abt to max out, look at repost of this from me 4more

ALWAYS CHECK POCKETS/COMPARTMENTS ON CLOTHING. Other lifters could have stuffed clothing alarms or price tags in there, be safe and check before trying to lift. No as where to conceal these clothing items, if you have the baggy hoody, (I suggest wearing a baggy shirt underneath too, always wear that sports bra if u wear bras{binders can also work it’s just hella uncomfy I’ve tried it})put 1-3 tops on under ur baggy T then put ur hoodie back on. Make sure they don’t count items b4 going into changing rooms. If they do, try taking a hoodie on some sort of hanger, taking it off the hanger, putting 1-2 shirts on the hanger, then put the hoodie/zip up back on. Great for lifting, if they confront you say you didn’t know and you were just tossing things in the cart, get out of there fast afterwards. It’s suspicious if you come in with a ton of clothes then don’t buy anything, sometimes you gotta buy some to win some. (Ex. I’m wearing 3 shirts under my og shirt which would add up to about 35 bucks, I buy a cheap tank top for 15, they don’t suspect me and I get freebies)

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Omg this scene, if it can't be picked apart enough. Kim is not fooling around, and he is trying to make sure that the reason Chay approached him is due to his little celeb crush and not related to everything surrounding Porsche. He has to ask, has to measure the reaction, if Porchay is into anyone (knowing he's just seen the shrine in his room).

I love how amused Chay looks here. He's like, "I didn't think this would come up so soon, but I'll play. I'm good at this game." (the game being emotions)

It may be the translation, but it's hilarious that he asks "who is it?" as opposed to "what are they like?" Way to give yourself away Kim. You don't know a single person in Chay's life outside of Porsche and yourself. Porsche is Chay's brother, that's out of the question. The math isn't hard.

But I love, I LOVE this subtle little expression Chay does here. This quick eyebrow raise:

"It's you, you dumbass." My beloved exasperated gay boy.

That's what he'd like to say, but we gotta be chill, we can't rush the Wattpad formula. Chay has read those and they didn't satisfy him.

I mostly made this post over this tiny moment but it reveals so much about Porchay in a blink. Naïve he is not (not as much as many assume, especially on a first watch). Coming from someone whose younger brother is surprisingly well-adjusted and smart, compared to me (a bisexual mess), I love how Barcode portrayed this aspect of his character. We give Porsche a lot of credit for being a fantastic brother while raising him, but I have to give it to the kid, he deserves a lot of his own credit.

He proceeds to essentially flirt, skirting the border of admission so closely he can't really be mistaken. Just because he can't say it outright doesn't mean he has to be subtle. It's juicy shit and he knows it. He wants to leave juuuust enough plausible deniability in case it weirds Kim out.

I'm pretty sure it was this moment that made Kim decide to take Chay out of the investigation, but damn if he wasn't interested in this kid. He's already set himself up as a tutor anyway, he might as well enjoy it. When was the last time he'd enjoyed someone's company?

I'll start rambling if I keep following that train of thought, so I'll end things here, but. Porchay Kittisawasd, everybody. Tired gay hiding behind a cute shy smile and adorable voice, aware of exactly what he's doing at nearly any given moment.

[thereminzone]

WOW!!! FINALLY FINISHED THIS ONE!!!

This work used a lot of textures! Wikimedia was my best friend, particularly for the macro shot of the wing scales used in the backdrop (H. Zell, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons) and the photo layered over the barcode (Michael Hanselmann, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons). I think it lends a really nice mixed media feel to this :D

These two are the other two members of THREAT DISPLAY!!!, the fake band for my dnd character Helvia. Rambling about them below the cut for context! Warning, it's long. And probably requires the context provided by the post I made about Helvia.

As is made probably blindingly obvious by this illustration, I continued the name of naming/loosely basing the design on a bug with a threat display, in this case being the peacock butterfly, Aglais Io! It's a really neat creature, being one of the only butterflies as far as I know to have a drastically different pattern when viewed dorsally versus ventrally

Obviously I pulled this pattern as directly as possible for Aegis's (left) jacket, but it's also on the inner lining of Vanessa's (right) overskirt. It's better visible in the earlier basic ref for them:

They look awfully similar.. and that's because they are twins! That's a lie, actually, but it's what the marketing of the band wants you to think. In reality, they are the same exact model of robot, meant to look human in comparison to Helvia, styled differently. They kind of have a complex about this, as would be expected if you were created and saw someone with your exact face who you are more or less put in competition with, and also told that neither of you really matter? It's a gimmick at best. They're not meant to be the real stars here, so it's easier if the public can just lump them together and let them fade into the background. I can't stress just how unimportant these two were considered in comparison to Helvia- they didn't appear in much marketing, and when they did, they were treated more like props. They weren't given unique identities, no fake memories unlike Helvia, just set into this situation with the expectation that they should know they are not important, they are not unique, and anything they do should be to further support Helvia.

Ultimately, though, they are very different people, especially in how they felt about this.

Aegis more or less resigned himself to this, he didn't see the point in trying to fight it or change the situation. He tried to not make anyone upset, stay neutral, do what was asked of him without thinking about it too hard. Sort of dissociating king? I think he internalized the fact that he's not "supposed to be a real person", and it influenced his behavior. He can acknowledge the horror of his situation, but doesn't find the point in fighting it.

Vanessa, meanwhile, finds none of it acceptable. She hates this. She hates the fact that she is a product and a tool and not even an important enough one to be given a basic sense of identity. Giving very "malicious compliance", she can't do much, but she took every opportunity to make it clear just how much she can't stand any of this. She felt that Aegis was a coward, especially because he would always be there to condescend to her, saying it's in her best interest to give up any time she got in serious trouble.

They, predictably, had a pretty rocky relationship because of this. Indirectly pitted against eachother for any amount of minimal spotlight that wasn't going to Helvia in hopes of being given any sort of grace, they also had no one else to rely on? Certainly not any staff, and CERTAINLY not Helvia, there's no one else that understood the unique horror of their situation quite so much as each other, even if they responded in wildly different ways. They had eachother's back, unspoken. Aegis telling Vanessa to 'just give up' is equally an attempt to prevent her from getting hurt further as Vanessa telling Aegis to 'stop letting this happen to you'– they just think that their respective poor coping mechanism is the way to go, when in reality it just means they each continue to be hurt. Dude these guys suck. As much as the twins marketing thing is a sore subject, in a sick way they end up actually having a sibling-adjacent relationship, I think.

As for their relationships with Helvia? Arguably more complicated.

It's a mess. Nobody is having a good time, except maybe Helvia telling herself she's having a good time. The closer they were to her, the better shot they had at actually being treated like they were interesting or important by marketing, and it created obviously an environment that was Not Good! They each had tumultuous on-and-off relationships with her as was directly encouraged of them, regardless of how anyone actually felt. It doesn't help that Helvia herself treated them carelessly, obviously told that they were there for Her– and as someone who wholesale bought into the image she was created for, who was in denial about the fact that she was literally a product, she wasn't exactly receptive to any of their struggles. Aegis pitied her despite their similarities, while Vanessa pretty much wanted her dead. It's bad. It's sooo bad. It's messy.

As for what they're up to now? No clue yet <3 they've yet to appear and I kind of already have terminal brain illnesses about them, if the above paragraphs didn't make it already obvious. Honestly this was just me making half decent art of them to post as in introduction to them before I drop the uh. 12 page comic I made in a fugue state during finals week. So keep a look out for that, I guess!

[devilat-thedoor]

What Is and What Should Never Be Ch. 6

A/N: i know this one took me a hot minute. but to be honest, i haven’t really been motivated to write. this story is going to have a lot of sensitive subject matter in future chapters and i will do my best to make sure all the proper warnings are in place. but if by chance i do miss something, or you’re not happy about something i write, please DM me to open a discussion about it. i appreciate any and all feedback🩵

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, No smut but suggestive language and allusions to sex, Angst, Toxic Theme(Possessiveness, Arguing, Fighting, Accusations, Cheating)

…I can’t make my own decisions or make any with precision // Well, maybe you should tie me up so I don’t go where you don’t want me…

You cautiously stepped through the front door of Highway Tunes, keeping an eye out for Josh. When you saw he was busy with a customer, you made a beeline for the bathroom, feeling the remnants of Jake between your thighs.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” Josh whisper-yelled from the end of the hallway just before you could enter the restroom. You slowly turned to face him, preparing yourself to be scolded. He came closer, standing right in front of you, “I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of… If this thing with you and my brother is hindering you from doing what you were hired for, you’re gonna need to find another job. Don’t let it happen again.” He stalked out of the hallway before you could respond and you finally burst into the bathroom.

Locking the door, you turned the faucet on, letting the sound echo through the small space as you splashed water over your face. You were in shock at Josh's outburst, not that you didn’t deserve it…but the anger you felt radiating from him is what really troubled you. You wanted to rush out and apologize, plead for his forgiveness and promise that you’d never let it happen again, but when you finally went back to the front of the store and saw him, the look in his eyes made you stay far away.

The afternoon stayed busy enough that you could easily keep your distance from Josh but, every so often, you would feel him staring at you. You did everything in your power to avoid looking at him, just counting down the minutes until shift change when he would finally leave and take the suffocating tension with him. Much to your dismay, you were having an issue with the barcode scanner while ringing a young woman up and you had to swallow your pride to talk to Josh. “Excuse me for just a second, hun… I need to get my boss.” You stepped away from the counter to search for him, finding him in the corner, typing on his phone. Approaching him slowly, you tapped his shoulder, “Uhh, Josh? There’s a problem with the scanner… I don’t- can you come help me?”

He turned to face you, his expression begging to say something that his mouth wouldn’t allow. Instead, he simply nodded his head and followed you back to the counter. You stood back, watching as he flashed the customer his perfect smile. “Cam, hey!” He greeted her with a gleeful hug and you assumed she was another regular that you hadn’t met yet until she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I didn’t expect you to be here today, babe.” The woman, Cam, pulled back but her hand remained on Josh’s hip and you couldn’t help the sting of jealousy you felt at the tiny, intimate gesture. “Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in like, a month…” Her tone was accusatory and it intrigued you; Who is she? What’s the relationship between her and Josh?

He glanced at you briefly before stepping out of her grasp and moving behind the counter. “Uh…yeah, I don’t know.” He kept his head down, fiddling with the scanner, and there was suddenly an awkward tension in the air. “I’ve just been busy, I guess. We were spread pretty thin and short staffed, but Olivia is back for good and we got a new hire… Uhh, Y/N.” Josh pointed to you with a soft smile, one you hadn’t received since Jake dropped you back off. “She’s pretty fucking great… I was lucky to find her…” His eyes drooped with a sad and silent apology before he put his attention back on the scanner.

The girl held her hand out to you with a friendly grin, “Well she’s beautiful, isn’t she?” She cut her eyes back to Josh, giving him a smirk, as you slipped your hand into hers. “Y/N, huh? I’m Cameron, preferably Cam.” Her dark, spiral curls cascaded over her shoulders and brought out the deep, olive tones of her skin. When her gaze returned to you, she released your hand and leaned her elbow on the counter as she took in your appearance. “So, how did a sweet thing like you end up here?”

You could feel your cheeks heat as your eyes fell to the floor to avoid her intense stare. “I umm… They were just the first place with a ‘Now Hiring’ sign…and Josh doesn’t make it easy to say no.” You laughed quietly before looking back up at her.

You heard your boss clear his throat to get her attention, but Cam didn’t seem bothered, almost acting as though he weren’t there. “D’you just move here? I’ve never seen you around before.” She stood up straight and stepped a little closer when you nodded your head, “Oh…Well, if you ever want a tour of the city or to just hangout…maybe you-.”

“No, Cameron.” Josh’s tone was flat and final but he forced a fake cough to clarify when she whipped around to face him, “Wrong tree, Cam. She’s…with Jake.” He turned back to the computer, clicking a few buttons, and grabbed her record to run it in front of the scanner. The beep echoed in the hanging silence and he used the opportunity to end the current topic, “Look at that. Scanner works… Your total is $34.98.” He was making it obvious that he wanted to get her out of there but she ignored him.

“No fucking way…” She turned back to you, her mouth slightly agape, “Jake? Mister ‘No Strings Attached’ Jake? He scooped you up?” Cam faced Josh again, leaving you no room to answer her question. “How the fuck… I thought he-.” She clamped her mouth shut when he pressed his lips together in a warning. Tossing her debit card on the counter, she chanced one more look at you with a half smile, “It was nice to meet you, Y/N… I’m sure you’ll see me again soon.”

He gave her the card back and passed her the bagged vinyl, “I’ll call you. We can meet for drinks this weekend.” She nodded before heading for the door and you waved a quiet goodbye to her as she left and disappeared down the sidewalk. You chanced a quick look back at Josh and turned away to find something to occupy yourself. “Y/N, wait…” His hand was on your shoulder, stopping you from walking away from him, “I- The way I lashed out earlier…I’m sorry.”

“Josh, you don’t owe me an apology. I fucked up and I can promise that it…won’t happen again.” You faced him fully, but kept your eyes on the floor. “We- I lost track of time and I feel awful. I don’t want you to think that I’m not serious about my job just because-... This is my top priority and I’ll make sure Jake knows that too.” You fought to keep your hands from fidgeting by folding them together behind your back.

Josh hooked a finger under your chin, pulling your gaze from the floor to meet his face. “I know you weren’t late on purpose, Y/N. I just-.” He dropped his hand, drawing in a deep inhale when you locked eyes with him. “You make me fucking crazy in a way that i’ve never felt before and… You know what, it doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head back and forth, waving his hands as though he wanted to shoo his thoughts away. “Just know that I wouldn’t fire you. It was an empty threat from the beginning.” His voice trailed off and now he was avoiding your eyes.

You didn’t know what to say; part of you wanted him to elaborate on how you made him crazy, but the other part knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the answer appropriately. “Josh…” Your breath caught in your throat when he looked at you, his large brown eyes, soft and bright. You lifted a hand to his face, mindlessly sweeping a stray eyelash from his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, his lips just barely grazing your palm. You both froze, eyes locked, for several moments, and if it weren’t for the door chime ringing out, causing you to jump and retract your hand, you weren’t sure what may have transpired. “Uhh. I’ll…get that.”

“Y/N.” He glanced at the customer, who had their back to you as they perused the rack of new release albums, before grabbing your wrist. “I- I’m sorry. I have to stop doing this shit…” He released his grip and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I know that you’re with Jake and I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect that, but I really fucking like you.” Josh paused when you began chewing on your lip, all of his focus going to your mouth before he stuttered through the rest of his thought. “You’re so- I mean, I- Shit…”

“Excuse me?” You both turned in unison to the customer, an older gentleman, as he interrupted Josh. “I’m looking for something for my granddaughter, might one of you be able to help me?”

You gave him a polite smile, “Of course, sir. You tell me what you need and I will be more than happy to assist.” You listened to the man explain what he was looking for as you led him to the tables, only stealing one glance over your shoulder to find your boss watching you.

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“Hey, you alright?” Josh asked, a tinge of concern in his tone, when he found you leaning on the counter with your head in your hands.

You rubbed your palms over your face and looked up at him. “Yeah. I just have a headache…waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.” You forced a quiet chuckle as you stood up straight, “I guess I should’ve actually eaten on my lunch break.”

His brows pinched together as he glanced at the clock on the wall. “You haven’t ate anything today?” When you meekly shook your head, he let out a frustrated huff and stalked into the office. You heard some things shuffling around before he reemerged a moment later holding something out to you. “Why the hell would he take you out on your lunch break and not fucking feed you?” He wasn’t asking you directly, more so thinking out loud. “Eat these… Please.”

You took the package from his hand, a little bag of pretzels, “Thank you…” You murmured it quietly and ripped the bag open to pop a pretzel into your mouth. “It wasn’t his fault. I just…got distracted.” Slipping into the office, you took a seat in one of the chairs to finish the small snack.

Josh followed you in and leaned back on the edge of the desk, looking down at you. “Why didn’t you just order something for delivery when you got back here?”

“I don’t know…” You pulled your phone from your pocket to check the time; it was almost 4 o’clock, which meant Jake would be in for the closing shift any minute, but also that Olivia would be in too, and you weren’t in the mood. “I’m not gonna lie, Josh… You kind of scared me when I got back. Food was the last thing on my mind and even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have ordered out of fear that it would piss you off even more.” You gave him an honest answer as you finished the last pretzel and dropped the bag into the trash can.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Josh crouched down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees, and waited for you to obey. “I don’t want you to ever think there’s a reason to be scared of me. I lost my temper and I’m sorry.” He stared into your eyes and you nodded, fully conscious of the way his thumbs rubbed circles over your leggings. “If you miss lunch again, or you’re hungry at all, I keep the bottom left drawer stocked full of snacks. You can help yourself whenever, okay?”

“Ummm. Am I interrupting something?” Olivia was standing in the office doorway, her eyes darting between you and Josh. “I just wanted to clock in… Is Jake here yet?”

He stood up with his ever-gleaming smile. “Hello, Olivia. It’s so very pleasant to see you too.” His tone dripped with sarcasm as he slithered around her to exit the office and you followed suit, holding a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.

Just as you stepped out from behind the counter, an arm wrapped your waist and pulled you around the corner towards the back of the store. “Miss me, peach?”

You yelped and spun in his hold, lightly slapping his chest. “Don’t do that, Jake! I almost pissed myself.”

“Too bad I’m not into golden showers…” He joked with a playful smirk and you shoved out of his grasp.

“God, you’re disgusting.” You giggled and made a move to walk past him, but he grabbed you again and pulled you close to kiss you. You stopped him, holding a finger over his lips before prying his hands from your hips, “Not at work, Jake. Respect the rules.” You broke away from him to do a quick clean up and return any discarded products to where they belong.

“Rules?” He was trailing behind you, close enough that you could feel his body heat. “What the fuck do you mean rules? I can’t touch you? Is that a rule, because I-.” 

You cut him off as you stopped walking and turned back to him, grabbing his face, “Work is my main priority, babe. I get paid to do a specific job and that job isn’t being your girlfriend… So at work, we keep it professional.” Dropping your hands, you went back to your task, but he was still lingering.

“Does that mean I can’t take my girlfriend in the storage room for a quick fuck on our shifts?” He reached out, cupping your asscheek before giving it a sharp tap.

“Jake, I’m serious…” You took a few steps away, facing him with a scowl. “Josh wasn’t happy about lunch and I don’t want my boss to think that I’m just gonna blow my responsibilities off because I’m fucking my other boss…who happens to be his brother, might I add.”

His face twisted into a frown as he looked around the store. “Did he say something to you? Where is he?”

You caught his arm before he could stomp away and placed a hand over his chest. “Hey, relax. I talked to him and it’s fine, but I just need to set boundaries. For myself. Okay?” Leaning in, you pecked his lips, allowing your mouth to linger on his for a few seconds in the hopes it would calm him down.

“Okay.” His jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth. “We’ll keep it…professional.”

You pulled your hands from his body, but not before Olivia had seen you touching him. “You’re just suckering up to both of them today, aren’t you, peach.” She popped the ‘p’ with a venomous smile, flashing her gaze to Jake.

“Both of us?” He looked at you, studying your expression for a moment as his eyes narrowed. He huffed a short laugh through his nose and shook his head. “Nah, Liv… She was just begging for forgiveness after exceeding her lunch break…came back almost a half hour late, didn’t you?” His lip curled at one corner when your mouth dropped open, “Don’t let it happen again or I’m gonna have to write you up, peach.” Jake turned on his heel, stalking to the office, and left you speechless, gawking at his back as he disappeared through the doorway.

After a few minutes, Josh appeared at your side as you were straightening a shelf of CDs. “Hey, I’m heading out. Just wanted to say bye.” He pressed his palm to your back with a warm smile and you weren’t oblivious to the amount of touches he’d indulged in throughout the day…but you weren’t complaining either.

“Oh. Well I guess I’ll see you Sunday?” Your attention was torn away from him when you caught Olivia out of your peripheral vision, staring daggers at you before slipping behind the counter to poke her head into the office. You released a sigh and returned Josh’s smile. “I hope you have a better Friday night than I’m about to have.” Your eyes rolled on their own as her giggle echoed through the store.

He glanced toward the counter for a brief second, “It won’t be that bad. Jake and Olivia have done the flirting thing since she started here almost two years ago.” Josh patted your shoulder with a sympathetic expression. “I know how annoying they get but I guess I can’t really imagine how you feel about it… Just- It’s never been more than just flirting, y’know? If he wanted Liv, he’d have her…but he wants you.” His hand slid down your arm, holding onto your fingers for a moment before he flashed his signature smile and went on his way.

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Time felt like it was moving in slow motion. It was surprisingly slow for a Friday night and closing couldn’t come fast enough. Jake had been in the office since his twin left, going over payroll and catching up on paperwork, while Olivia would pop her head in every few minutes, or call his name from across the store in her loud, grating voice. You’d tried to ignore it, busy yourself with senseless tasks that didn’t even need done, but your patience was wearing thinner by the second. When he had finally decided to come out of his cave, he found you wiping down the glass display of limited editions for the third time and purposely placed his palm flat against the glass. You straightened up with an angry sigh, “Are you serious, Jake? Grow up.” You knew he was doing it to get a rise out of you, and normally you may have laughed or at least indulged in the playful banter that would’ve resulted, but you slammed the bottle of cleaner down on the counter and tossed the rag before walking away from him.

His brows raised in confusion, “Woah…Y/N, hey.” He was jogging to catch up with your long strides, reaching out to grab your hips. You couldn’t deny that you were growing irritable and Jake had definitely taken notice by the way you pushed his hands from you and glared at him, “Let’s take a walk, peach.” He carefully placed a hand on your shoulder as he led you towards the back hallway before calling out to Olivia, “Liv, we’re gonna grab some shit to restock…We’ll be right back.” He ignored whatever response she tried to give as he pushed you into the storage room and closed the door behind him. “What’s your goddamn problem?” His voice was stern, but you couldn’t be bothered to care.

“I don’t have a problem, can I get back to work?” You kept your tone short and clipped as you rolled your eyes and reached past him for the doorknob.

He leaned back against the door, putting his body weight on it so you couldn’t pull it open. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Why are you in a pissy mood?” He released a sigh and softened his voice, trying his best to tread lightly and keep you calm, “Peach, did I do something wrong?”

You watched his shoulders slump a bit and took a deep breath to center yourself. “No, Jake, you- It’s just been a long day and time is dragging…I’m exhausted, hun.” You grabbed his wrists, pulling him away from the door and towards you. “Sorry for being cranky…”

“Why are your hands shaking?” He stared at your grip on his arms before looking at your face, waiting for an answer.

Releasing him, you studied your hands for a moment and shook them out. The nausea rolling through your stomach made it obvious that you needed to eat, but you wouldn’t tell Jake that you’d skipped an actual lunch because of him. “Probably just too much caffeine today…I’m fine, babe, really.” You could tell that he wasn’t quite buying it, but you didn’t have the energy to argue with him. Stepping closer, you wrapped your arms around his midsection and flashed him a sweet smile, “Tell you what… Drop it and… I will give you a pass for one storage room quickie, available to you at a later date of your choosing.”

His lips stretched into a grin as he returned your embrace with a genuine laugh, his hands sneaking down to squeeze your ass. “Why can’t I have it today?” He began kissing along your jaw, trailing down your throat.

You giggled at the way his lips tickled your skin. “Haven’t you had enough of me today?” You pulled at his shirt as his lips continued their exploration, sucking at your neck. “Jake…” You gasped when he bared his teeth to softly bite your skin.

He spoke between kisses, slowly chipping away at your resolve. “Never enough, peach… C’mon. It’s slow… We got fifteen minutes to spare.” His rasped voice was enticing and you allowed him to draw you in as his hands slid beneath your shirt to cup your bare breasts.

“You think fifteen minutes is enough time to-.” A loud knocking on the door cut you off, making you jump.

Even muffled through the door, Olivia’s annoying voice still wiggled its way under your skin as she twisted at the doorknob. “Jake? Why is the door locked? I need help out here!” Jake dropped his hands with a sharp huff when you broke away from him to grab a stack of CDs from a shelf, as to not look suspicious. He ripped the door open and glared at her, waiting for an explanation. “I need- or I can’t find…umm…” She was flustered by the way he was staring at her, obviously never having been on the receiving end of your boss’s bad attitude.

He wasn’t playing into her usual ruse this time, clearly displeased with being interrupted. “I told you we’d be back in a minute, what was so important that it couldn’t wait, Olivia?” He watched her repeatedly open and close her mouth, searching for any kind of excuse she could conjure, but she remained silent, staring at him like a lost child. “Right… Excuse me.” He moved by her to exit the storage room without another word.

She gazed after him in shock before turning her attention on you.  “What the hell… What did you say to him?” Shaking your head with a scoff, you pushed past her to exit the room with the stack of albums, but she followed closely behind you as her tone grew more accusatory. “You’ve been jealous of the relationship Jake and I have since you started here, Y/N. So what? You sneak him away to bribe him with sex or something? God…you’re such a desperate-.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and turned to face her as you dropped the CDs to the front counter. “Olivia, you better fucking watch what you say next…” You’re sure there was steam coming out of your ears because you could feel your face getting hot with anger. “I don’t need to throw myself at Jake for attention, honey… So who’s really the desperate one?” You stepped closer to her, silently challenging her to finish her thought.

Jake was inserting himself between the two of you before she could reply. “Both of you cut it the fuck out… Y/N, go sit in the office until you’ve calmed down.” He gave you a pointed look and nodded toward the office door while Olivia smiled smugly from behind him.

You could feel your blood begin to boil. “Are you joking? No. You’re not sending me off for a timeout, I haven’t fucking done anything wrong!” Picking up the stack of CDs, you spun around to walk away and stock them but Jake caught your arm. You ripped out of his grasp and met him with a threatening scowl.

“What…is going on?” Josh walked out of the back hallway and right into the building tension between his twin, you and Olivia. “It’s been two hours… What happened between when I left and now?”

Jake broke the staredown first, his eyes leaving yours to look at his brother. “I’ve got it handled, don’t worry about it. What are you doing here?”

Josh’s eyes flicked between you and Jake, trying to decipher what was going on, as he held up a takeout box. “I, uhhh. I went to Slice House to grab dinner and wanted to drop something off for-.”

“I’m not hungry right now, just put it in the fridge.” Jake’s words were rushed as he cut his twin off to watch you turn around and walk away from him. “We’re not fucking done.” He started after you, the aggravation radiating off of him.

“Oh… No, this is for Y/N.”

He froze in place to turn and face Josh, “Why are you bringing her dinner?” His possessive nature was coming out full force as he clenched his jaw and waited for an answer. You were standing a few feet away, half turned to them as you placed the albums on a shelf, but you were listening to their exchange.

“Why are you being a dickhead, dude?” Josh shook his head with a laugh, rubbing his hand down his face. “She hasn’t eaten anything all day and if she starves to death, there goes our best employee.” He looked at you with a smile when Olivia scoffed and opened his mouth to speak, but Jake beat him to it.

“What do you mean she hasn’t eaten anything?” He turned back to you, his frustration slowly dissipating and replaced by something else. “Why haven’t you ate?” He took a few strides to close the distance between you and grabbed your wrists, holding them up in his hands. “That’s why you’re shaking… Are you fucking- Why didn’t you eat a lunch?”

You almost melted at his concern, but the accusatory tone in his inquiry made you pull your arms from his grasp. “God, Jake. I don’t know… Can’t really remember what I was doing on my lunch break. Must not have been too important for me to have forgotten so soon.” You knew you were being harsh, but you weren’t in the mood to deal with anything anymore. Especially not his attitude.

His nostrils flared as he glared angrily at you, his expression was dark but he almost looked hurt. Jake bit his lips together, closing his eyes for a moment, and drew in a deep breath through his nose. When he opened his eyes again, his voice was quiet, soft even. “Take your food and go home, peach.” He held his hand up, shaking his head slightly, when you tried to argue. “Don’t. Clock out and go.” And with that, he walked away, trucking down the back hallway and slinking into the bathroom to slam the door shut.

Josh and Olivia were both staring at you, shocked expressions painting their faces, but you ignored them as you stomped to the office to clock out and grab your things. When you came out, moving straight for the front door to walk home, Josh caught up to you and caught your arm. “Y/N, wait… Your food.” He held the box up to you and you offered a soft smile and a mumbled ‘thanks’ as you took it pushed through the front door.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding…” A groan of frustration left your chest at the downpour you’d stepped into. It was like the sky opened up and dumped out every ounce of water the clouds held. What a day to walk. Taking a deep breath, you took a step out from the ripped and disheveled awning above the record store door, but a pair of arms were reaching out to yank you back into Highway Tunes. Turning in his hold, you were met by the fluff of curls and big brown eyes. “Josh, what are-.”

“I’m not letting you walk home in the rain. My car is out back, I’ll drop you off.” He was already walking away, not even stopping to check that you were following. Crossing through the backdoor, Josh placed a hand on your back and led you to his car, ushering you into the passenger seat, before rushing to climb into his own side. “Hasn’t rained like this in months…” He was shaking his hair out as he started the engine and put the car in reverse to back out of the space, gripping your headrest to look out the rear window, “Where do you live, sweetheart?” He pulled out of the small parking lot and drove towards the main road as he waited for you to give him directions.

You were staring out the window, watching the rain patter into puddles along the street, entirely oblivious to Josh’s voice. It wasn’t until he stretched his arm across the center console to carefully squeeze your thigh and give it a shake to get your attention that you finally looked at him. “Huh? I’m sorry… Did you say something?”

His hand lingered on your leg for a few moments before he pulled away and rested it on the shifter. “You gotta tell me where you live or you’re coming back to my place, YN.” He joked with a gentle chuckle as he glanced at you.

His laugh made you smile, instantly lifting your foul mood. “Oh. Uhh, if you make a left up here, on 16th, and go for about four blocks, I’ll let you know when we get to my building.” The drive was mostly quiet, save for the music playing on the radio, until he pulled the car up to your apartment building. You dug your keys from your bag as he put the car in park. “Thanks for the ride, Josh…and for the food. You really didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it.”

“It’s not a big deal,” He waved you off, turning his body to face you, as he pointed to his own food in the backseat. “I was picking something up for myself and wondered if you ever got the chance to try the Drunken Italian… So I grabbed you a slice.” When you looked down at the takeout box in your lap, too large to hold just one slice of pizza, you raised an eyebrow at him. “What? I got you a classic pepperoni and a plain slice too. Wasn’t sure what you liked.” He shrugged sheepishly, his cheeks growing red.

You grasped the door handle and paused before you opened it. “Hey… You wanna come up and hangout for a bit? Eat, watch a movie or something? Bell’s at work until eight and I kind of just don’t wanna be alone.” He bit down on his lip for a moment and you expected him to decline at that point, but to your surprise, he asked where he should park his car. “Oh, just go down that side street and there’s parking right on the side of the building.” Once he had the car tucked into a spot, you both hopped out and headed inside. Josh kicked his shoes off beside yours and followed you into the kitchen as you flicked the light on. “I’m gonna go change real quick, make yourself at home, boss… Sam surely does.” Stalking into your bedroom, you grabbed some comfy clothes and slipped into the bathroom for a speedy body shower.

Josh was still in the kitchen when you came back, leaning against the countertop while he scrolled on his phone. He looked up when he heard you, his gaze lingering on your smooth legs, clad in a pair of old boxers, for a bit before they traveled up to see the faded Highway Tunes t-shirt that you took from his twin’s closet. “Where’d you get that? I haven’t seen that design in like…seven years.” He came closer, pinching the fabric between his fingers to examine the logo.

“Uhh. It’s actually Jake’s.” You looked down at the shirt back at him, “He let me borrow it and I just haven’t given it back yet… It’s- I don’t know. I just like it, I guess.” You watched as he dropped his hand and took a couple steps back and opted for a subject change. “You want something to drink? Bellamy keeps beer. Or we have water or probably some coke or-.”

“Water is fine, sweetheart.” He picked the boxes up from the counter after you grabbed a couple bottles from the fridge and followed you into the living room.

You sat down on the couch and gestured for him to sit as well, leaving a decent bit of distance between the two of you, as you lifted the remote to turn the tv on. “What do you wanna watch?” You turned to look at him after opening netflix.

He was already digging into his pizza, eyes wide and mouth full as he looked back at you, “Sorry…” He held a hand over his mouth as he finished chewing, “Whatever you want, Y/N. I’ll watch anything.”

You giggled at him, beginning to love the way his cheeks flushed when he got a little embarrassed. Shaking your head softly, your focus went back to the tv as you scrolled through the options. After a minute or so, your attention caught on a title, “Oh my god! They have Pretty In Pink on here!” You didn’t wait for Josh to react before you were clicking on the movie to start it. “You don’t mind, do you? It’s one of my favorites…” You were poking your lip out at him and pairing it with pleading eyes.

“No. No, go ahead. I’ve never seen it.” He was grinning with amusement at your excitement. “This is the one that you said had the record store in it, right?” Josh took another bite of his pizza, studying your face, as you sat back on the couch and opened your own box.

“Yeah. Trax! I swear, you’ll know exactly what I mean when you see it.” You settled in as the movie began and it wasn’t long before the takeout boxes were empty, discarded to the coffee table, and you were tucked under the throw blanket, quoting the scenes and offering unnecessary explanations to Josh. “Hey, Benny… I hope they shrivel up and fall off…” You glanced at him as you finished the quote and found his soft eyes already on you, a warm smile on his lips. “Sorry. God, I’m sorry.” You could feel the blush covering your cheeks as you buried your head in your hands. “It’s a bad habit… Bellamy always yells at me for quoting through movies.”

His hand curled gently around your wrist to pull one of your hands away so he could see your face. “Don’t apologize. I think it might be one of my new favorite things about you.” A quiet laugh escaped him as he released your arm. “I don’t think you realize that you’re doing it. It- it’s like a subconscious thing.” When you tilted your head, pinching your brows in question, he elaborated on his thought. “You don’t always say the lines out loud. Most of the time, you just mouth them to yourself…but every so often, it’ll slip out and you kind of giggle through it, so I’d assume those are your favorite parts.” He leaned forward to grab his water from the table, turning his attention back to the movie.

You stared at him for a moment, wondering if he’d been watching you the whole time. “Josh, did you-.” Your phone began to ring from where it sat on the coffee table, cutting you off. You stared at the illuminated screen, Jake’s name in bold letters at the top, and allowed it to go to voicemail.

“You gonna pick it up?” Josh asked when a second call came in and you shook your head, waiting for the screen to go black again. “He’s gonna be pissed if you don’t answer him, Y/N.” You remained silent as the phone lit up once more, with a text message this time. “Look… I know he can be a little hotheaded, but-.”

Leaning forward, you flipped the phone face down and sat back again before pointing to the television. “Wait! This is my favorite part!” Iona cranks the volume on the stereo as Try a Little Tenderness begins to play. “Watch, hun! It’s the best, I promise.” Your face lifted into a grin as you reached over and grabbed Josh’s arm to make sure he was paying attention.

He placed his hand over yours, sending a flare of warmth through your body. “I’m watching, sweetheart…” And he was. But his eyes weren’t on the TV.

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Josh POV

It was like her smile grew tenfold when the scene started. You couldn’t look at the TV, despite her request. All of your focus was on the white hot feeling of her skin on yours, unlike anything you’d ever felt from a single touch. She sang through the scene, bouncing about from where she sat, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of her; her hair was bundled into a bun at the base of her neck. Loose tendrils, damp from her shower, had fallen free and hung around her face. She smelled like jasmine and…vanilla? No. Jasmine and coconuts. You wondered if the boxers she was wearing were from an old boyfriend or maybe they were her dad’s? The faded logo on her t-shirt caught your attention. Did she know that shirt belonged to Ivy? Did Jake tell her that when he gave it to her?

She snapped her head towards you, her eyes shining as she crooned, “…Squeeze her…don’t tease her…never leave her…” She was laughing wildly, her grasp on your arm tightening the harder she sang and you started laughing with her. When the song finally ended, she was breathless, her body slumping back against the couch and falling towards you.

You gave her a few moments to catch her breath, looking down at where her head just barely laid on your shoulder. “Y’know…this might be my favorite movie too, Y/N.” Your heart felt like it stopped when she looked up at you with a shy smile, her cheeks the sweetest shade of pink, and let out a childlike giggle. “God, you’re beautiful…” The thought slipped out before you could stop it and you worried that maybe you’d ruined the moment.

Her grin stretched as she relaxed into you, “I think you’re more beautiful, boss.” The sound of the front door opening stole her attention. “Bellamy’s home. She’s gonna be excited to meet you…” Her voice oozed with sarcasm, causing you to raise your eyebrow in question, and she sat up straight just as her friend was coming in, whispering quietly, “Jake made…quite the first impression. Umm…just don’t take it personally, okay?” You gave a short nod before she greeted the other girl. “Hey, Bell. How was work, babe?”

She ignored Y/N’s question and looked directly at you, her lips pursed, “Are you the other one?” Her arms were crossed over her chest as she waited for an answer and you took a moment to study her. She was exactly how you’d pictured, given how much your little brother raved about her.

“I’m assuming you mean Jake’s counterpart? The handsome twin? The smart one?” You joked, hoping  to earn a laugh or at least a smile from her. “I’m Josh.” You held a hand out to her for a friendly shake, but she shook her head. Sammy did say she was a spitfire.

Y/N spoke up from beside you, “Don’t be a dick, B. Give him a chance… it’s not fair to lump him with Jake.” She leaned over, bumping you with her shoulder, “Josh is an angel.”

“An angel, huh? So…what does that make Jake, sweet pea?” Before she could answer her friend, there was a knock on the door that caused the two girls to share a questioning look. Bellamy turned on her heel to stalk to the door and pull it open. “Speak of the devil…”

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You watched in slow motion as he pushed through the door and past Bellamy, despite her protests. “What? You can’t answer a fucking text? A phone call?” He was mad, that much was clear, and the store shouldn’t have been closed for another half hour, so you were sure the shock on your face was evident.

“What the hell are you doing here, Jake?” You tossed the blanket from your legs and stood up from the couch to face him. Bellamy was behind him, waiting for a sign to toss him out of the apartment, while Josh remained silent in his seat, watching the scene unfold.

“Do you see how it’s fucking storming out there?” He pointed towards the balcony where the pounding rain was only visible between flashes of lightning, “I didn’t know if you made it home and you wouldn’t pick up the goddamn phone! I was worried, Y/N…” He looked at his twin then, anger radiating off of him, “No surprise…you’re cuddled up with my fucking brother.”

Josh stood up then, placing himself between you and Jake, “We watched a movie and ate pizza, Jake. As friends.” He gestured between the two of you to get his point across, “That’s all we are, man. We’re just…friends.” He gave you a small, sympathetic smile before turning back to his twin, “If you don’t start treating her differently, you’ll end up a lot less than that.” Scooping up his keys and phone from the coffee table, he offered you a soft goodbye and pushed past his brother, only stopping to look at your best friend, “It was nice to meet you, Bellamy.” He paused as he was stepping through the front door and you could tell that he was fighting on whether to say what he wanted to or keep it to himself. The moment stretched on for an eternity before he finally spoke, avoiding your eyes entirely, as he looked at Jake, “She chose you, Jake… Try being fucking grateful.”

You watched him go, closing the door behind him, and began cleaning up the mess from the table after shutting the TV off. When you started towards the kitchen, Jake stepped in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders, “Can you talk to me for a minute, please?” He followed you as you moved around him and threw the empty boxes into the garbage can. “Peach, please…” He gently grabbed your arm as you tried to silently exit the kitchen.

Calmly peeling yourself from his hold, you kept your head down. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you, Jake. I’m going to bed.” You could feel his presence behind you as he followed you into your room and closed the door. Finally turning to face him, you caught the flash of guilt in his eyes as he stood silently and waited for you to kick him out or tell him to stay. “He was right, yanno?.... I chose you, Jake.” He opened his mouth but you held your hand up to stop him, “If you don’t have trust in me, this won’t work. If I can’t have friends without you accusing me of something, this won’t work. Do you get that?” You plopped down on your bed with a sigh, “I’m not gonna keep having the same fights with you… I can’t.”

“I’m fucking trying, peach.” He came across the room to sit beside you, taking your hand in his. “Trust is hard for me. I told you-.”

“But you won’t tell me why!” You pulled your hand away and dragged them both down your face, “Help me understand, Jake! Let me see your point of view, because I won’t keep fucking doing this shit!” You breathed out a steady sigh and stood up to pull the duvet back and climb into bed.

You assumed he would leave when he stood up from the bed, but you were surprised when he stripped down to his boxers and flipped the light off before crawling in beside you and pulling the blanket over the both of you. He didn’t attempt to cuddle up to you, just laid on his back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. You laid on your side, facing him, just barely able to make out his features through the flashes of lightning that would illuminate the room every few moments. The silence was growing and taking all the air in the room, it was becoming suffocating, you felt like you were losing your mind. Then came Jake’s voice; soft, sad, barely a whisper, “I was gonna give up everything for her… I really loved her, Y/N.” The tone of his voice broke your heart and you reached out carefully, placing your hand on the center of his chest to encourage him to continue. His body tensed beneath your touch, but he took a deep breath and slowly began to relax, “She loved me too. For a while, at least… I think deep down, I knew that she was checked out towards the end, but I was in denial.” He paused when his voice started to shake and you rolled closer to him.

“Take your time, baby. I’m here.” You held him close, pressing your lips to his shoulder. “Do you wanna start from the beginning?”

He shook his head, chewing at the skin on his lip. “The beginning isn’t important… We were together for two years before she wanted to move to New York. I was gonna do it. Drop my life, my family, everything, just to fucking follow her.”

“What made you stay?”

“When Josh and I decided that we weren’t going to college, mom and dad chose to pass the store to us. They loved the business, but after 20 years of running it and raising a family, they wanted a break.” A fleeting smile ghosted across his lips, “Josh didn’t wanna do it by himself, Sam was still in high school and had his mind set on CCA after graduation… I wanted to go with Ivy, but Highway Tunes was- is my life. It meant everything to my parents but it meant just as much to me. It’s where we grew up… Spent more time there than at our house. I guess my mistake was thinking that she would understand.”

You sat up in the bed, crossing your legs beneath you and looking down at him, “So, she left for New York without you?” You were trying to put the pieces together.

Jake placed his hand on your thigh, his thumb mindlessly grazing over your skin. “She stayed here with me. But she didn’t stay for me… She stayed for herself. She didn’t have to work, didn’t have to pay bills. I took care of her, I took care of everything… I gave her a life that most people would be grateful to have. And I thought she was.”

“What did she do, Jake?” You pulled your knees up, hugging them to your chest as a wave of sickness rolled through your body at the thought of what she could’ve done to hurt him.

He sat up as well and, despite the dark room, you could feel his eyes on you as he reached out and took your hand in one of his. “Peach, you…make me happy in a way that I haven’t felt…in a really long time.” He brought your hand to his mouth, holding your knuckles against his lips for a moment and you felt your stomach flip as tears began to sting your eyes. “I’m really fucked up, Y/N.” His voice cracked but you let him continue, “That last year was when things started to get bad…I uhhh- I started to notice a change when she would ask me for money to get groceries for the apartment and I’d come home to find the cabinets empty. When I would ask her about it, she would make me feel fucking crazy…Tell me that she never said she was getting groceries or that I was working too much, so the exhaustion must have confused me.”

“Jake…” You wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn’t have to talk about it anymore, but he didn’t give you the opportunity.

“That shirt you’re wearing right now- do you remember when I told you she was wearing it the last morning I woke up with her?” You nodded your head and, even though he couldn’t see your face, he kept talking, “I was supposed to work the double that day but I got hit with a bad cold, had Josh come in and close for me… When I got home, Ivy was in the shower and I thought it would be nice to join her. We hadn’t really had time for intimacy, I guess. But she wasn’t alone in there.” Jake released a humorless laugh, “She wasn’t even remorseful…I think that’s what hurt the most. Hurt more than her telling me I was nothing, that I didn’t deserve her. I asked her, What did I do wrong? I love you, I gave you everything… and she laughed in my face and said, ‘You gave me everything. Why would I leave?’” He was holding your hand, tracing his fingers over your palm as his voice grew quieter, “After she admitted that she hadn’t loved me in a while, she was using me, I left. Flew to Michigan to stay with my parents for a few days and clear my head. When I came back, she was gone… Cleaned most of the apartment out, left a note. I didn’t read it, I couldn’t. I just threw it in the trash and moved on.” He fell silent after concluding, his index finger still traveling over your hand.

You sat, unmoving, unsure of what to say or if you should even say anything, until a wet drop landed on your palm and you felt your heart stop. “Baby, no…” You sat up on your knees and flung your arms around him, holding him tight to your chest. “Jake, I’m so sorry. I-.” His body shook in your hold and your own tears started to fall. Seeing his vulnerability, under the circumstances, filled you with sorrow.

He wrapped his arms around your torso, clinging to your body as he moved to lay down, pulling you with him. “It fucking hurt, Y/N… It hurt for so long…”

You held his face, swiping at his wet cheeks as you sniffled, “She’ll never hurt you again, Jake. I promise. Nobody will…”

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🤍Taglist🤍

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[jaetyun]

infrunami.

"can you come back to me? cause i was blind to see that you were right infrunami."

heeseung x f!reader

this is the original draft to the now smau, see if you can spot all the changes i made from oneshot ver to smau ver! also warning it ends very abruptly because its unfinished lol

wc: 4.9k

You couldn't remember how your life was before Ningning. Your best friend had moved to your street in the 3rd grade, your houses straight across from one another.

Ningning seemed straight out of a dream you had, with her closet full of the Justice you never got to own. Her hair was always perfectly groomed, and a pretty headband in place to keep it down. She was the kindest person you had ever met, and though you hadn't met many people at the ripe age of 8 you had guessed she must be the nicest person in the world because why else would she hand you sugary snacks from her lunchbox every day?!

She was comforting. Predictable even. Which is why it was such a shock when you met her older brother, Heeseung. He was the most confusing person in the world- scratch that- the *Universe*. He was always looming in the background, his closet being anything but flashy. Seriously, a black Nirvana shirt in elementary school?!

Because of this, you found yourself constantly trying to talk to him, to figure him out. Even though his shy demeanor pushed you away, you'd always come running back. Heeseung would never admit it, but he appreciated your company. A lot.

In middle school, it became even harder for Heeseung to express this sentiment. 'hey Yizhuo, is Y/N coming today?' became 'I hope to God your little friend isn't staying over', it was just a product of hormones and deep teenage angst. He couldn't help it!

As you both grew, he figured your childish interest in him would disappear. It was simply curiosity, nothing more. so when you stayed clinging onto him, Heeseung was left shrugging you off, his disinterest only feeding into your infatuation with the boy.

"You with barcode boy again?"

"Piss off, limp dick!" You sneered, tugging Heeseung closer to you as you both strode in the hallway.

"You don't have to do that y'know.." He muttered words barely above a whisper. You turned to face him, tilting your head. "Do what?"

"Defend me. or hang out with me in general" He looked away, staring at the lockers instead of making eye contact with you. You stared at him for a moment before looking away, your grip on his arm tightening.

"Don't be stupid." Heeseungs parted lips closed, unsure of how to respond.

"I'll always be here, Seung. Nobody will hurt you under my watch" You proudly grinned, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He just nodded, the same tight-lipped expression he had before.

"Yeah, guess I couldn't get rid of you if I tried."

You snorted "Was that the goal?"

"Damn it! You caught me" He smiled, finally turning to face you. You grinned, softly meeting his gaze.

"I take it back, only *one* person can hurt you"

He cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head.

"Who?" You quickly unlinked your arm from his, punching the now-open area right above his waist. You gave his ribs one last shank for good measure before pointing to yourself with your thumb.

"I can!"

As the years passed, that mostly held up. What started as relief turned into humiliation, as he continuously got comments about your company.

What was even worse than the teasing was you: A generally popular cheerleader about half his height and a year younger berating anyone who dared to talk about Heeseung. How was he *ever* supposed to get a girlfriend at this rate?

It didn't help that you were practically an arm away at all times, given that you were with Ningning 90% of the day. Heeseung understood you just wanted to keep your oath, but he felt more than ever like a sad loser who resorts to being with his sister's cheer team rather than being his own person.

Heeseung tried to reason with himself. The people snickering were most likely just jealous! High school kids weren't known as the most accepting people in the world, so he took it with pride.

At least.. he tried to.

But the only thing worse than the people in his grade were the ones in *yours*. The glares the cheer team sent his way never went unnoticed, the already self-conscious boy only curling over himself more throughout the years.

He could hardly talk to you inside school anymore, with your presence becoming an honor more than a regular site. It didn't help that his friend was almost always whining about sneaking off to the library to play games on the computers, a sheepish smile on his face as you nodded in understanding.

He knew you were growing up, and that you'd change, that you'd both change. Heeseung told himself it was natural, that he shouldn't feel so bad every time he saw your new friends. People change, and they go with people who suit them. It became increasingly clear to him that you two didn't suit each other after all this time. It was time for your childish interest in your friend's older brother to leave, and for that interest to be with people who suited you. People that weren't Heeseung.

"You don't have to do all this for me"

"But I want to" You smiled, lazily swinging your backpack off your shoulder and placing it on his desk. You took out an old hoodie Heeseung had overgrown (It didn't quite fit you either, but trying to take it from you was like talking to a wall), swiftly sticking your arms through the holes to cover your sweaty cheer uniform.

"Which episode of Mob Psycho were we on?" He sat up, closing his laptop. You hadn't noticed, too busy grabbing materials from your backpack to see his uneasy expression. "15 right?"

"You should be with Yizhuo right now" You glanced up, eyebrows furrowing.

"She's with the team, they're out bowling" You laughed it off, looking back down at the perfume and makeup you had placed on the black wood. He cleared his throat, catching your attention again.

"That's what I mean. You should be out bowling" He offered, watching the way you waved him off with a laugh. "I like hanging out with you, don't worry about it"

"I know you do.." He trailed, Heeseungs expression saying what he didn't have to. You squinted, your hands slowing from your bag.

"Do *you* not like hanging around *me*?"

Before he could clarify, he felt the teenage angst start kicking in. Fuck, fuck! The last thing you needed was the wrong idea, but before he could stop himself from construing his own words puberty went to work.

"I just don't understand why you keep lingering around. you're forcing something that isn't working!" He threw his hands up, watching you mirror the gesture. "You think I'm forcing us? Is that what you really think?"

Heeseung's jaw tensed, of course it wasn't. But it'd be selfish of him to keep you to himself. "If you actually cared you'd leave me alone."

You scoffed, throwing the hoodie back into your bag as you spoke "I told you I wouldn't leave you anytime soon. You never seemed to be bothered by it until now"

"I don't need charity work. You're a cool girl, but you're supposed to be Yizhuo's friend, not mine."

"Y'know what? You're right, I should've been bowling right now. But instead, I'm watching anime with a fucking loser. 'Cause I liked you more than them, my bad for not getting the hint it wasn't mutual"

You gestured to the perfume left on his desk, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. "I don't want it anymore. The scent reminds me of you, tell Ning it's a gift"

You shut his door on the way out, leaving him alone in engulfing silence. Well shit, this isn't remotely what he wanted. Fuck puberty. He'd rather drag you back in here and argue with you than sit by himself, the only thing he had left to think about is your words. You had done exactly what he asked, and he made it impossibly clear what he wanted. So why isn't he happy with the result? Why did it feel like this was gonna come back to bite him? Heeseung was no master of social cues, but even he knew he couldn't text you with a simple 'Hey soz lol I was having a bad day 🙏💯" and expect you to be happy. Making his sister talk to you for him was possibly the second worst idea he had ever had in his 16 years of life (The first was the time he convinced Ningning to get into the toddler swing in middle school. She broke her hip.)

Heeseung felt at a loss for words. At a loss of emotion even, complete suspension of thought in his mind.

He glanced at the perfume, squinting to see what scent it was.

Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Bodyworks. A scent so feminine no man would ever willingly keep it, let alone use it. He had to give it to his sister, he was never gonna be caught *dead* with this in his room.

*spritz*

It was surprisingly strong. No wonder you used it after cheer practice, it makes sense how you never smelt bad even when sitting right next to him, the laptop on each of your thighs so it's an equal viewing experience. The smell was the only comforting thing to Heeseung at this moment, no well in hell he was getting rid of it. He took the bottle and shoved it into the corner of his nightstand: Out of sight out of mind!

--

As Heeseung expected, now that you were out of the equation the teasing went down by a mile. It also helped that any rumors of the two of you were shut down by the entire team, all of them seemingly having a consensus it was no hard feelings. Or at least, a consensus to tell people that. Heeseung also found himself becoming slimmer and gaining muscle, most all his time was devoted to basketball to take his mind off that night.

But moving on would be simply too easy. Whatever God or deity exists was most definitely on your side, or at the very least, not Heeseungs.

When he found out you had gotten with one of his middle school bullies, he was distraught. you had seen how much Sunghoon bothered him every day, the nickname 'barcode boy' still being used on Heeseung all these years later.

Though he and Sunghoon were on decent terms now, he couldn't help but feel as if it was a targeted decision. Getting with someone you knew hated him after having a blow-up fight sure was an odd coincidence at best and bafflingly petty at worst.

"You guys are seriously so cute" Kazuha gushed, your phone in her hand as she took the role of cameraman for your insta.

Sunghoon had his arm wrapped nonchalantly around your shoulders, a peace sign being his attempt at posing for the camera. You puckered your lips, kissing his cheek as the camera flashed. "Thank you, Zuha" You took your phone back, blowing a kiss that she quickly snatched before Sunghoon had a chance. you showed him the photo, smiling up at your boyfriend.

"Still can't believe how long it took for me to realize you liked me"

He shrugged, a sheepish laugh escaping his lips. "Didnt exactly express it well"

Ningning tilted her head "I thought you two hated each other, I know Y/N did for a while"

He shook your shoulder, a proud smile on his face. "Nah, I was just jealous of Heeseung and took it out on him" You tutted at the name drop, the simple mention of him still catches you off guard. Ningning snorts, leaning onto the diner's table in sudden interest. "What? You thought they were into each other?" You nervously laugh along with them, your eyes darting wildly now that your brain has been kicked into high alert with the new conversation topic.

"Still did up till she asked me out"

"God, this is so cheesy" You deflected, your head buried into his chest from embarrassment

Heeseung had arrived a few minutes ago to pick his sister up, watching the conversation in horror. He knew you'd be there, that was a given, but he figured it was a girl hangout and he'd possibly have the chance to talk to you. Instead, you were curled up next to Sunghoon, who had his arm wrapped around your back. The casual mention of his name drove him crazy, he hated how you were no longer protective over him. He hated that he lost your loyalty.

"Speaking of Heeseung, where is he? He should've been here by now"

You stiffened under Sunghoon, resisting the urge to rip away from him and look at your best friend after she offhandedly said he'd be here. Right next to you.

Sunghoon noticed, speaking for you "You need your brother to pick you up?"

"I don't have my license" she reasoned, scrolling through her contacts to find him. "And unlike all of you, I'm on good terms with him"

"Hey! I never hated Heeseung" Kazuha crossed her arms, clearly offended. Ningning looked back up at her, an unimpressed expression on her face "You talked shit about him every time Y/N couldn't join us"

Heeseung almost yelped when his phone audibly rang, revealing his presence at the front entrance. He cleared his throat and shoved his phone into his back pocket, big brother mode turning on.

"I just got here, Gyu was holding me up" The table physically relaxed, a relieved look on everyone's face. Ningning stood up, kissing Kazuha on the cheek while saying her goodbyes. Sunghoon gave Heeseung a short wave, an awkward wave back from the latter before they were on their way.

Heeseung wished that was the worst part about you dating Sunghoon, the fact that they had middle school beef. Something as stupid and trivial as that, and that deep down you were happy and living your best life while he was bitter he wasn't in it.

He wished the worst part wasn't the fact that Sunghoon, your first love, tried to fuck your best friend. Heeseungs little sister.

It certainly didn't help that you gave him a second chance and reassured everyone you knew it'd be a one-time thing. until it wasn't, and you walked in on him and another girl

Heeseung remembered you rushing into their house, broken sobs as you begged for forgiveness from Ningning.

He had just made a new bad decision that had to make the top of the list (beating out the broken hip incident by a long shot), and it was the moment you told Ningning what happened.

His biggest regret was not running out of his room and hugging you, comforting you, just *seeing* you. Instead, he chickened out like he always did.

How many regrets can one person blame on puberty? At what point does it become your personality, just a part of you that you can't deny?

Heeseung listened through a closed door, whispering how he was gonna beat Sunghoons ass into next year. Lies, he knew he couldn't do anything. He was simply the barcode boy, the boy that couldn't stand up for anyone or anything. He felt so useless, wishing he could do more than listen

The cherry on top was he was graduating that year, shipping himself off to university that summer. Without a proper chance to say goodbye, you went 3 years without a single word exchanged with one another.

-

"She's going to some preppy art school an hour away" Ningning complained, throwing herself onto her mattress without a bed frame.

"You'd rather have her come to us with our tuition rate? hard pass" Heeseung was on the opposite side of the room, placing boxes in a miscellaneous order. Ningning rolled over, now on her back as she continued to whine.

"Going to art school on a full-ride scholarship is about as embarrassing as wearing a varsity jacket after high school"

She peered at her brother who was in fact, wearing his varsity jacket after high school.

"Mom paid a lot of money for this!" He reasoned, pointing toward her. "You better watch your mouth before I leave you to unpack by yourself" She sheepishly smiled, mumbling an apology.

"Why do you have so much shit??" He continues to nag, opening the boxes to see what in the world could've made them so heavy and full. "You're gonna end up throwing half of this.." He trails off, not finishing his statement as his attention began to drift. Peeking through one of the box's flaps was a picture frame of the 3 of you. Heeseung could only half listen to what Ningning was saying, too preoccupied with flipping the box's lid with his backhand to get a better view. It's been years and there are absolutely 0 reasons he should still be hung up over you, but the sense of yearning for what could've been has been looming over his head like a notification he couldn't swipe away.

"They're filled with memories you heartless asshole!"

"That's what a hoarder would say" He scoffs, now kneeling over the box with the picture in his hand. Ningning fell silent, pulling herself up to get a better view of Heeseungs dejected sigh. His eyes flashed with so many thoughts and memories she couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking.

"She came to the party crying when you guys had that fight. She kept asking me if you never liked her" His heart sank to his ass, and at that moment he wanted nothing more than to shit out all the guilt pooling in his stomach. "It was for the better, she's happy"

"Have you been happy, Heeseung?"

He closed his lips together, forming a thin line over his teeth before pushing it back out to make a pout. "That's irrelevant"

"Not when she would ask how you were doing every day"

"I thought you were just being a caring sister!" Heeseungs frown was met with Ningnings evil cackle, putting her elbows on the bed and sliding so she was on her stomach.

"God no!" She snorted, tilting her head as if a thought bubble had appeared on the side of her temple. "it was always 'Is Heeseung okay? what's he up to? Has he made any new friends?' and I'd always have to be like 'well...'" she trailed, smiling mischievously when she saw his annoyed expression.

"Wait.. she was checking up on me?"

"The whole time." She hummed before shrugging "Not sure if it makes you feel better or worse, but I hope it helps you make the right choice"

He furrows his brows, placing the frame back into the box carefully, and he could barely spare his sister a single glance when his gaze was busy lingering on your giddy smile.

"What choice?"

"She's coming to the party later tonight."

Party was a bit of an overstatement, it was closer to a medium-sized get-together. Now that Ningning was a freshman at her brother's university, he gathered his friends (reluctantly after they practically begged to see her) and some of their acquaintances to hang out at Jake's fraternity house. Although it was optional, everyone was also welcome to bring a plus one. Heeseung had joked she was gonna bring you but hadn't expected her to take it as genuine advice.

"Does she know what it is?" Ningning brought her hand up to her shoulder, shaking it loosely. "So-so??"

Heeseung deadpanned, tilting his head in a final show of how unimpressed he was, leaving Ningning to drop her head with a sigh.

"I'm just saying. I want you to be happy again Seung." She lifted her head back up, and pursed her lips as she thought for a moment. "Y/N wants you to be happy. I'm her carrier pigeon" She finished, finally drawing a short laugh out of her brother.

"Yunjins my plus one" Heeseung breathed out, his expression turning sour at the mention. Ningning furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth tugging itself into an unamused smile. "Okay? You're not trying to fuck my friend are you?"

He quickly shook his head, hands coming up defensively. "No! She just never liked when I was around other girls."

Ningning face curled into disgust at the insinuation "You last talked to her when she was 15, I think she can handle you having a girlfriend."

"Not my girlfriend" He groaned, standing up to resume his task of relocating all the boxes.

"Whatever, just don't be stupid!"

-

An hour into the party, Heeseung was sure his sister had just bluffed. He had yet to spot you, which was embarrassing when he took a good look at himself in the mirror.

He had worn his best sweatshirt, paired with baggy jeans he only wore on special occasions. Though it wasn't obvious to any onlookers, to Heeseung the fact that he had dressed to impress you only reminded him of the anxiousness he possessed as a teenager.

Staring at his reflection, Heeseungs eyes widened once he peered down lower, a strip of pictures you two took in a photobooth sticking out his pocket slightly. Yeah, definitely resembling himself 3 years ago.

Now exiting the bathroom, he could hardly hold back the frown etched on his face, his mood undeniably soured.

"Didn't know you cared so much about losing beer pong" Jake teased, an arm slinging around his friends as the other arm handed him a red solo cup. "Hey, no hard feelings. just had to get back at you for the other day"

Heeseung tried his best to put on a more lighthearted expression, the corner of his lip quirking at the mention of his victory. "I've always been better at basketball" He nonchalantly shrugged, Jake's unimpressed glare working the other corner up into a full smile.

"But seriously, what's with the attitude?" Heeseungs eyes perked up the question, a confused furrow of his eyebrows functioning as a reply. "You look like you wanted to leave since you got here"

"Ah," He started, his gaze faltering when he realized he wasn't as secretive with his emotions as he had hoped. "I just, I dunno.." He continued, open hand going to the crook of his neck as he scratched absentmindedly. "Guess I acted weird cause of someone"

Jake frowned at the vague answer, tutting as he unlinked his arm from the other boy. "You can't wear your best for a girl you've been ignoring all night"

Heeseung winced, slowly moving his eyes from the crowd to his friend. "Am I that obvious?"

"Dude, you are *not* as slick as you think you are." Jake laughed, taking the untouched cup back into his own grasp and taking a sip. "Yunjin thought you were mad at her"

Heeseung blinked, worry turning into confusion. Jake was so incredibly close to hitting the mark, and then completely avoided it in true Jake fashion.

"Well I'm not"

"Tell that to Yunjin, she's been with Yizhuo and her friend the entire time. By the way, do you recognize her? figured I'd ask 'cause no one else does" Jake points to their general direction.

Absolutely nothing could've prepared Heeseung for the sight.

The reason he's been ignoring everyone, the reason he was nervous to show up today, the reason he had a stupid photobooth strip (that had to be at least 5 years old at this point) stuffed in his pocket.

There you were, laughing away with a small group of girls right by the assortment of drinks.

All he could do was gulp, a silent nod was all he could manage. "Knew I should've asked you first! Who is that?" Heeseung was utterly unresponsive, his eyes boring into every inch of you. Jake watched for a moment, cracking a grin eventually. "You're helpless," He chuckled, giving his friend a light shove in your direction. "Go talk to your girl!"

It completely flew over Heeseungs head that Jake had intended to tease him about Yunjin, his mind now coming up with a plan. He had to show he wasn't the same kid he was when you last saw him. He had to prove that he had grown.

And that he was really.. really sorry about that night.

The same question kept repeating in his mind: how can he act cool? What should he do to show you the best first impression he can?

What would Jake do? What would Jake do?! Since Jake always seemed to have a roster at any given moment, Heeseung figured he had to be doing something right. so if he just used the advice from his somewhat womanizing friend...

"Guess who?" He spoke lowly in your ear, covering your eyes with his hands.

Holy shit. Heeseung wanted to curl into a ball and roll off the face of the earth from how corny and absolutely *not cool* he was being.

You softly gasped, arms tugging away at his and turning around in complete shock. "Heeseung?" Your eyes beamed, looking him up and down as if you couldn't believe he was real. Though in a split second, all emotion drained from your face as you glanced back up and made eye contact. "What the hell was that?" He opened his mouth to respond, but he was quickly cut off by Yunjin.

"You guys know each other?" Her curious glance at the close proximity made the moment suddenly awkward, both of you nodding wordlessly.

The question was.. hard to answer. With your complicated relationship, neither of you were sure how exactly to answer without going into detail.

"We grew up together" Although you said it as more of a question than a confident response, you earned a nod of approval from both Ningning and Heeseung. you turned back to Yunjin, smiling as you took his arms and crossed them over your shoulders to prevent him from running away.

"This is the first time he's ever approached me first actually" The passive-aggressive comment had made one thing clear to him: you were most definitely still mad at him.

"Really? He's not that shy.." Yunjin looked back up to the boy for confirmation, earning a sheepish laugh.

"I used to be"

"Aww, that sounds kinda cute" She smiled, eyes never leaving his. Ningning groaned, a waving hand in dismissal

"Can you guys *please* not flirt at my party? Save it for the ride home"

You turned around, an unreadable expression as you glanced at Heeseung. He blinked as if he was asking you a question with his eyes, one you answered with an annoyed eye roll. "Looks like there's some catching up to do"

Ningning's eyes rose in realization, mouth forming an 'o' as she slowly nodded. "I guess I never told you, did I?"

"Let's not talk about it right now! It's so embarrassing" Yunjin had a shy smile, staring down at her cup with a finger circling the rim.

Your eyes never left Heeseungs, a passive-aggressive smile stabbing daggers into him. "A *lot* of catching up."

you let go of his wrists, waving a short bye before signaling to the bathroom. As if Heeseung was in a trance, he watched dumbly before walking after you wordlessly. He resembled a puppy as he mindlessly followed wherever you went, waiting outside the restroom with an awkward lean against the wall.

When you exited, your eyes widened with another unreadable expression. You had since stopped your motion of rubbing the excess water onto your skirt, arms crossing as though you were about to say some snarky remark to Heeseung. He cleared his throat, trying his damn best to fake nonchalance. The one question popping in his head over and over: What would Jake do?

"Didn't notice you there" You snorted, face visibly relaxing. "You didn't?"

His demeanor faltered, hands combing through his hair as Heeseung longingly glanced away. "Nah."

You took a wide step to the left, using your hands to gesture to the room behind you. He blinked, unsure of what your body language is implying.

"If you're not here for me, you need to use the bathroom." Heeseung eyes slightly widened, his eyebrows jerking upward before it falls back to his neutral expression. Your eyes crinkle as you smile, stepping back in front of him. "You're the exact same dork you were when I last saw you."

He couldn't mask his expression this time, his eyebrows furrowing in worry and his eyes now losing focus.

There's no way he was the same person. That's not possible, not when everyone treats him so differently. He must have changed drastically if he went from being bullied to having a best friend in a fraternity.

"I am?" You nod, your hard expression softening into a chuckle.

"I can still read you like a book."

"You can?"

"You've never been good at hiding secrets anyways, but you did the thing you always do when you're caught in a lie"

His mouth falls open, the defensive mode automatically kicking in for him. "I don't do anything when I lie" The teenage angst was about to take over until Heeseungs parted mouth closed, realizing what had just happened within his brain.

Fuck, maybe he hasn't changed.

You mimick the eyebrow flicking, your eyes widening and your eyebrows quirking up like a twitch.

"Is that you trying to hit on me?"

"Were *you* trying to hit on *me* when you did it?" You both blink for a moment, the pause only catapulting the two of you into a fit of laughter.

[buttsnorkeler69420]

[IMAGE ID:

This image is a photo of a an illustration. The illustration is of a fake magazine cover, where a black wasp with yellow stripes and brown wings fills most of the image. The wasp is clinging to a wall with its back facing the viewer, but its body twists left and its head is turned so one spotted brown eye gazes at the viewer. Its two pairs of back legs are stretched out on either side of it to grip the wall, while it holds its front pair bent close to its body. One leg gently grips one of its antenna in a preening pose. The wasp's brown, semi-translucent wings are held a relaxed distance up over its back toward the top of the image.

The wall forming the background represents a paper wasp nest and is off-white with a streaky, fibrous texture.

In large text across the top of the image is the magazine's title in tall, thin, colorful letters, "THE WEEKLY BUZZ". A subheader beneath the wasp written in matching script reads, "ART & ARCHITECTURE", and a subtitle beneath in smaller black letters reads, "Hue Hive Workers Construct In Color".

In the bottom right corner is a barcode with a orange label on top reading, "July 25 2022 www.buzzweb.com". /end ID]

id also in alt

watercolor, pen and marker

wouldn't it be cool if bugs made magazines? i was inspired by the super cool fake magazine covers people make of their characters sometimes (im looking at you, ratmags).

this was made for a set of art pieces with the theme: "how can bugs be depicted in a way in which people can sympathize with them without me having to alter their appearances/make them look 'cuter'?"

i focused a lot on posing, framing and settings to try to pull this off, which turned out to be pretty challenging! here, specifically, i chose to depict bugs in a media people are used to seeing humans in to make them more relateable.

other pieces in this collection coming soon

[voidshrub]

Make a tierlist of Epithet Erased

https://tiermaker.com/create/epithet-erased-prison-of-plastic-1494482

Hi anon I did it

Added a few modifications here and there, mainly I think Gio's boys deserve their own tier and it's high up because I love them all :3

I feel like rambling a little bit so notes under the cut cause why not (And spoilers also)

Ok first of all. I was gonna give Lori S tier but also she makes me too angry sometimes. I love you Lori but girl. Girlie-

I was considering Feenie to have her own tier because she is like Jello's daughter and she is also very wonderful. But I was too lazy so she goes in A tier, only because I don't feel as strongly about her as I feel for the characters I put in S tier (same for Trixie)

Now that I think about it Naven should be in S tier he is so badass and awesome and I love him. But I am too sleepy to go back and fix the list so uhm pretend he is in the Correct tier :)

I forgot half of the season 1 cast existed I am so sorry I was simply sobbing uncontrollably over Giovanni being the absolute best dad ever to be conceived

The barcode dude is up there cause I really really like his design it's so rad

I don't like Zora that much that's why she's where she is I'm sorry. She has great motives for what she does very cool very interesting but I simply do not Vibe with her. Also she spit in Ramsey's mouth -points for that, big red buzzer noise

I actually didn't recognize Yoomtah until I read she was Naven's chauffer! She screams a lot and I don't have many Opinions on her existence yet but she seems relevant I think

Stink is where he is because he is Stink. End of discussion (and the minibosses are also there like that cause I don't have much of an opinion about them except that the dragon looks pretty neat)

The sheriff is down there cause he reminds me of Martin and I hate Martin. Sorry sheriff you did nothing wrong really (except misfire a gun I think)

Is that the uhhh. The mundie that threatens the Neo Trio at the start of PoP? Why is she here did I miss something. Or maybe she's different and I'm a little dumb (it's the sleep I will sleep I promise)

I think it is the Right Opinion to hate Martin. You should all hate Martin. My Various Hammers and White Hot Rage would like to have a few choice words with him. Violence is never the answer except when it is, which is now. Towards Martin. Fuck that guy

[ashintheairlikesnow]

BBU Community Days

@bbu-on-the-side * {Day 8} Barcode

-

CW: Police harassment, derogatory/demeaning language, prostitution, implied dubcon

The asshole officer shines a flashlight right in his face, half-blinding him, and he winces and turns his face away. "What the fuck-"

"I said turn it over. Show me."

"Show you what?"

The officer sighs, sounding wearied, and the runaway pet wants to punch him in his stupid smug face. He thinks he's tired? He didn't spend the last day hiding from pouring rain that has streets flooded and people in rain boots half-wading when they have to go out. "You know what. Turn your wrist over and show me your barcode."

"I don't have to do anything." The pet's chin juts out, eyes narrowed to slits against the glare of light still aimed right at him. "Come back with a fucking warrant."

"Okay, I would, but you aren't in a house. You aren't even inside. This is an alley. This is public space and you are causing discomfort to the people who actually do live here. Come on, Boxie, wrist out. Let me see it."

"I don't have a fucking barcode. What, is it illegal to sit now? I'm just sitting. I'm not harming anyone."

The officer looks like he might just sigh so heavily with irritation that he blacks out. The pet waits, a little hopeful, but it doesn't happen. "Listen. Look. You get up and walk away, I'll pretend I never saw you. Nice people in this neighborhood, they don't want you whoring around for your dinner, got it?"

His heart stops - for just a second - before it beats again. He swallows, hard. Some of his defiance has faded before he finds a retort. "What-... What makes you think-"

"I've seen you before, buddy. Down by the warehouse district."

"Why not arrest my John?"

"Your John?"

"Well, how the hell did you think I got here from the warehouse district in the first place, numbnuts? We were having a good time til his fucking girlfriend called."

"... Jesus. Come on. Up you go, get outta here and I won't even look. Just get."

He doesn't have a choice. The runaway pushes himself uneasily to his feet, watching as the cop backs up to give him some space. There's that, at least.

His stomach growls.

When did he eat last? Shit. A day ago? Two?

The flashlight is pointed down, now, and he can see the cop's face. Honestly, he's seen worse. The guy looks pretty fit, too. And Jesus, he's so hungry...

"I don't suppose you'd give me a ride," He says, cocking his head to the side. Defiance slips into practiced seduction with only a shiver of self-loathing down his spine. "I can pay for it."

"Don't bribe me. You don't have a fucking cent or you wouldn't be a whore, Boxie."

"I didn't say I'd pay with money." He smiles, like this is a silly flirty joke between them. "Trust me, I'm good at this. I'm so good. Don't you ever wonder what fucking a Romantic is like? Like a Lamborghini with spread legs, yeah? You drive me back to the warehouse district, you don't check my barcode, and I make this the best shift you've worked in days..."

The cop thinks, jaw working, looking off to one side and then the other. The pet watches him take off his wedding ring and slip it into his pocket with a mix of triumph and hatred.

"Right. Yeah. Get in the back. We'll find a place to park."

His heart thumps and his wrist itches under the ink as he slides into the back of the squad car, with doors that don't open from the inside and a screen he can't break through. Maybe he'll be murdered and dumped in a ditch somewhere. Maybe the cop will just take him to jail.

Or maybe he really will drive him back.

It's always a roll of the dice when he offers himself for a ride.

Sooner or later he'll run out of luck.

[starkstruck27]

One last little mermay fic because it's the last day and I thought it would be cute (also I may be posting on June 1st technically, but I wrote the bulk of it yesterday so...).

Steve hadn't been working at the aquarium for long, but he loved every second of it. He'd moved out to California a while ago and he'd been down on his luck when Dustin came out one time to visit, all jazzed up about marine life, since it was his latest obsession, and he'd suckered him into a trip to the place before he left again for Hawkins. Steve had never had much interest in undersea life before, but as Dustin dragged him through the exhibits, he found himself in awe of all the beautiful creatures. At the end of their tour, he was buying Dustin a souvenir in the gift shop, when a large "Help Wanted!" sign caught his eye.

"That, uh, that sign," he asked the girl who was scanning the barcode on Dustin's stuffed seahorse and new San Diego Aquarium cap, "Is that just for the gift shop or is it the aquarium in general?"

"No, it's for the whole place. We are looking for a few people to be cashiers in here and the food court, but we're also looking for tour guides and trainers. The trainers have to have some kind of prior experience working with animals though, so just keep that in mind. Would you like an application?" She asked, her smile bright as she handed the younger boy the bag.

"Yes, please," Steve smiled back, and the girl handed him a small packet of papers fill out before smiling and greeting the next customer.

By the time they left, Steve had already returned the packet, completely filled out, to the right box, and two days later, he got a call to come in for an interview. He went, and an hour later, walked out with a job as a tour guide and a date to come in for his first day of training.

By now, nearly two months later, he knew the ins and outs of the entire place, and he could spit facts about sharks or jellyfish or anemone or sea cucumbers like he was listing the days of the week. He was one of the favorites among the tour groups, since he often made stupid dad jokes and gave out aquatic themed stickers to the kids. It was a hands-on aquarium, and a lot of the parents liked the gentle encouragements he would give their kids if they were scared to touch a certain animal, and the kind ways he would explain how to do it properly so as not to hurt the animals so that everything went smoothly. He was often handed tips from appreciative parents, and even though he always tried to refuse them, they always insisted he take them for helping their young kids to have such a positive experience. His fridge in his apartment was running out of room on the front of it from the amount of drawings kids would do for him, and he had made a note to get himself a little scrapbook or binder or something to keep them in so that he didn't have to throw them away to make room for new ones.

So yeah, Steve absolutely loved his job.

And when his boss pulled him aside one day and said that he wanted him to be the one to help launch the newest attraction on May 1st, he was more than happy to do it. He was just supposed to lead the families into the amphitheater that faced the biggest tank in the aquarium and get them pumped up to see some kind of show involving mermaids. He had no idea what it was or how it was going to work, but he was excited to do it, so he did.

Finally, May 1st rolled around and Steve was about to do his first presentation for a packed theater. He scrounged up some of the old confidence he'd had in high school and put on a huge smile as he walked out in front of the tank with his notes, quieting the families and greeting them before asking if they were ready to see some mermaids.

That's what the whole thing was about. It was supposed to be like that one attraction in Weeki Wachee, Florida, where they had the actresses that dressed up like mermaids and entertained families in while swimming under water. It was pretty much the same as that, but while the actors and actresses were swimming around, Steve was supposed to give a presentation on some fun facts about mermaids and then, at the very end, the families would get to pose for pictures with the actors while they were still in the tank. They were going to be going down with air nozzles from oxygen tanks in their hands, so that they could make cool bubble effects, but also so they could still breathe as they were underwater. It was actually really cool, in Steve's opinion, and he was excited to be giving the presentation.

"Okay, so as long as you're ready to meet our merpeople, we have to try and call to them so that they'll come out to see us. Merpeople are king of shy, so we have to be really loud when we call their names, okay? We have a lot of merpeople here at our aquarium, but the ones you're going to see today are named Pearl and Nero, so on the count of three, we're all going to say really loudly 'Hi, Pearl and Nero!', okay?" Steve said as he continued his opening, smiling wide along with a lot of the kids. They all nodded as he counted to three, and they shouted out for the two actors, and they swam over from where they'd dropped into the tank, somewhere off to the side where the audience wouldn't see them going in.

The first 'mermaid', a girl with curly dark hair and tan skin, swam over, wearing a bright red shell bra and a shimmering red tail that caught the light beautifully. She pretended to be shy as she swam over, but she smiled as a manta ray came up to her, and she pet it gently as the kids all oohed and aahed.

"Everybody, this is Pearl," Steve said, gesturing at the tank, and the actress waved back at the audience, flicking her tail as she swam all around and did little tricks. She could hold her breath for an incredible amount of time, only having to use the breathing tube thing once or twice in the past couple of minutes.

"Now, Pearl is a little bit more brave than our other merman, so we have to call out for him again to get him to come out, okay?" Steve said, and the kids all called out for the guy again. The actress in the water even gestured over to someone with her hand as she swam around and played with the fish and other creatures in the tank with her. Finally, the kids all cheered as another actor swam over, looking more timid as he did.

"Everybody, this is Nero," Steve said, and he gestured at the tank, almost forgetting his next bit in the script when he saw the man. He had blonde hair that flowed around his face in ringlets. He had a tiny hint of a mustache on his top lip and the most striking blue eyes Steve had ever seen. His tail was also blue, probably to match his eyes, and as he waved to the audience and smiled, Steve nearly fainted. He was muscular, but not overly so, and his arms looked strong and sturdy, much like the rest of him. And his smile was bright enough to light up the entire ocean if he wanted to.

Steve made himself refocus on his presentation as the actors played under the water, swimming around and playing with both each other and the creatures in the tank with them. They interacted with the crowd as Steve gave his presentation, doing certain motions to go along with the fun facts Steve was spouting, and just seeming to have fun with it. Steve was too, once he got over the initial shock of that gorgeous man swimming around behind him, and when the presentation was over, he both happy and sad about it. The next show was going to be done by another one of his coworkers, and two other actors would be playing the merpeople, so Steve decided to head back to where he knew the actors would be taking their breaks to see if he could get a chance to talk to the guy.

He found him and the other girl laughing backstage as they ate lunch and gossiped, and he was almost afraid to go in and talk to them. They both had towels wrapped around their heads to keep their long, wet hair out of the way as they ate, and they both still had their tails on, since they had one more show to do before they got to leave for the day.

"Oh, speak of the devil," the girl said to the guy, and she gestured to the door that Steve was standing at, smiling widely. "You're our presenter, right? We were just talking about you. You did a great job hyping up the kids for us. Although, your jokes were absolutely terrible. I'm Heather."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm Steve," the man said, walking further into the room with them and tucking some hair behind his ears nervously. "Sorry to interrupt, I just figured that I should probably introduce myself to you guys at some point since we'll be doing a lot of shows together. And I wanted to compliment you on your performance, it was really, really cool. I don't know how you can hold your breath for that long and keep your eyes open underwater and still to all those tricks and stuff. It was just really amazing."

"Thanks," Heather replied, taking another bite of her sandwich, "And to tell you the truth, it's really nothing special. Just lots and lots of practice."

"And the oxygen tanks help a lot," the man said, the first time he'd spoken since Steve first entered the room. He didn't seem like he'd be a quiet person, but Steve figured that maybe he just didn't really like new people. He could understand that. Still, he'd hoped that maybe he'd have more to say than just that. Heather seemed to notice this, because she looked between them for a second, rolled her eyes at the man, and then reached down to unzip a part of her tail and stick her feet out so that she could shuffle off into another part of the room, saying something about needing to use the bathroom and leaving the two alone.

"I meant what I said," Steve said, stepping closer to the other man, "Your performance was really good. I've never seen so many happy kids in one room before. And you didn't even seem like an actor half the time there. You actually seemed like you lived in the water for real. And I'll tell you, you got a set of balls on you, too. I'd never have the courage to swim straight up to a hammerhead and just start petting it like you did."

"Thank you," the man finally cracked a smile as a cute little blush rose to his cheeks. "Yeah, I've always loved the ocean and anything having to do with it. And normally, I wouldn't have the balls to swim right up to a shark, but we keep them pretty well fed here, so I had nothing to worry about. But still, thanks for the compliments." The man paused again, setting down his sandwich, wiping his hands on a napkin, and training those striking blue eyes on Steve while he stuck out his hand and said, "I'm Billy."

Steve shook his hand, and he could feel his own face lighting up with a smile.

"Nice to meet you," he said, his heart fluttering when the other man's face finally broke into a full grin.

"Likewise," he said, and they began to slip into a more casual conversation as Heather returned and she and Billy finished their lunches and got ready for the next performance. Steve would have to leave soon to get his microphone and his notes sheet again, but he stayed for as long as he could, quickly becoming friends with the two actors and making a few plans to make their next show an even bigger hit than the last one was. Finally, it was just a few minutes before Steve would have to start welcoming families back into the theater, and Billy went off somewhere to do one last thing before the show.

"Oh, and hey Steve, I have a quick question for you," Heather said, just before he left.

"Yeah?" Steve asked, stopping just short of the doorway.

"Can I get your number?" She asked, thrusting a napkin and pen into his hands. "It's not for me, though, it's for Billy. Y'know, just in case you were wondering. He nearly choked in the tank earlier when he first saw you through the glass, however blurry. And he said you had a nice voice. But he's too much of a wimp to ask you himself, so write a corny little note and leave him your number so that I don't have to hear about how out of his league you are for the next fifty years, because he will complain for that long."

Steve was taken aback at first, but he was flattered, and he liked the other guy, too, so he decided, why the heck not? He scribbled down a note and his phone number quickly, then high-tailed it out of the room to be in the theater for his cue, just as Billy came back over.

"Steve asked me to give this to you," Heather grinned like a shark, handing him the note. Billy took it, puzzled, and almost missed his own cue to get in the water as he read and reread it to make sure it sunk in.

Steve left him his number. And a terrible dad joke, but mostly his number, and said he wanted to go out with him sometime. He'd said he wanted to be 'part of his world', and as much as the pun made Billy roll his eyes, he couldn't help but find it cute. He could definitely arrange that. But first, he had to get back in the water, and hopefully nobody would notice as he stared at Steve's ass through the glass.

And if they did, he could just pass it off as a merman curious about how the humans walked around on their two large fins.