#Baby Maltese For Sale

[maltesepoopalace]

Find Your Perfect Companion at Mal Malpo Puppies

Welcome to Mal Malpo Puppies, your trusted source for finding adorable Teacup Maltese puppies for sale. If you’ve been dreaming of owning a Teacup Maltese, you’ve come to the right place. At Mal Malpo Puppies, we specialize in providing high-quality, healthy, and well-socialized Teacup Maltese puppies that will bring joy and companionship into your life.

Why Choose a Teacup Maltese?

Teacup Maltese For Sale puppies are among the most cherished and sought-after pets due to their charming personalities and compact size. These miniature dogs are a smaller version of the Maltese breed, which is known for its long, silky white coat and affectionate nature. The Teacup Maltese is an ideal choice for those looking for a tiny, lovable companion that is well-suited for apartment living or homes with limited space.

One of the most attractive features of Teacup Maltese puppies is their size. Typically weighing between 2 to 4 pounds, they are small enough to fit comfortably in your lap or purse. Despite their size, they possess a big personality, characterized by their playful, intelligent, and loving nature. They are excellent lap dogs and make fantastic companions for individuals, couples, and families alike.

The Mal Malpo Puppies Experience

At Mal Malpo Puppies, we are dedicated to providing the highest quality Teacup Maltese puppies for sale. Our commitment to health, temperament, and customer satisfaction sets us apart from other breeders. Here’s what makes the Mal Malpo Puppies experience exceptional:

1. Quality and Health: Our top priority is the health and well-being of our Teacup Maltese puppies. Each puppy is carefully bred and raised in a clean, nurturing environment. We conduct thorough health checks to ensure that our puppies are free from genetic conditions and health issues. You will receive detailed health records and vaccination information with your new puppy.

2. Socialization and Training: We believe that early socialization is crucial for a puppy’s development. Our Teacup Maltese puppies are exposed to a variety of experiences and stimuli to help them become well-adjusted and confident. We also start basic training to ensure they are on the right path to becoming well-behaved members of your family.

3. Ethical Breeding Practices: At Mal Malpo Puppies, we adhere to ethical breeding practices to ensure the health and welfare of our dogs. Our breeding programs focus on maintaining high standards for health and temperament, and we work closely with veterinarians and experts to uphold these standards.

4. Support and Guidance: Our dedication to our customers extends beyond the sale. We offer ongoing support and guidance to help you navigate the joys and challenges of puppy ownership. Whether you have questions about feeding, training, or general care, our knowledgeable team is here to assist you.

Finding Your Perfect Teacup Maltese Puppy

When searching for Teacup Maltese puppies for sale, it’s essential to consider various factors, including breed characteristics, health, and temperament. At Mal Malpo Puppies, we offer a diverse selection of Teacup Maltese puppies, each with its unique traits and personality. Here’s what you should know when looking for your perfect Teacup Maltese:

1. Size and Weight: Teacup Maltese are smaller than standard Maltese, typically weighing between 2 to 4 pounds. It’s important to understand that, due to their small size, they may have special care requirements. Be sure to choose a puppy that fits your lifestyle and living situation.

2. Coat and Grooming: Teacup Maltese have a beautiful, long, silky white coat that requires regular grooming. They are considered a hypoallergenic breed, which means they shed less than other dogs and are less likely to trigger allergies. However, their coats still need regular brushing and grooming to keep them in good condition.

3. Temperament and Personality: Teacup Maltese puppies are known for their affectionate, playful, and intelligent nature. They enjoy being the center of attention and thrive in a loving, interactive environment. Consider your own lifestyle and preferences to find a puppy with a personality that complements your family.

4. Health and Care: Ensure that the Teacup Maltese puppy you choose has been thoroughly checked for health issues. At Mal Malpo Puppies, we provide comprehensive health records and vaccinations to ensure that your new puppy is healthy and ready to join your family.

How to Buy Teacup Maltese Puppies from Mal Malpo Puppies

Buying a Teacup Maltese puppy from Mal Malpo Puppies is a straightforward and enjoyable process. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you get started:

1. Explore Our Selection: Visit our website to browse our available Teacup Maltese puppies for sale. Each listing includes detailed information about the puppy’s breed, personality, and health status. You can also view photos and videos to get a sense of the puppy’s appearance and temperament.

2. Contact Us: Once you find a Teacup Maltese puppy that interests you, reach out to us for more information. We are happy to answer any questions you may have and provide additional details about the puppy’s background and health.

3. Schedule a Visit: If possible, arrange a visit to meet the puppy in person. This allows you to interact with the puppy and see their environment. It also gives you the opportunity to ask any additional questions and ensure that the puppy is a good fit for your family.

4. Complete the Adoption Process: After deciding to adopt a Teacup Maltese puppy, we will guide you through the adoption process. This includes completing any necessary paperwork and providing information on puppy care and training.

5. Bring Your Puppy Home: Once the adoption process is complete, you can bring your new Teacup Maltese puppy home. We provide a starter kit with essential supplies to help you get started, and our team is available for ongoing support and advice.

Preparing for Your New Teacup Maltese Puppy

Before bringing your Teacup Maltese puppy home, it’s essential to prepare your home and family for their arrival. Here are some tips to ensure a smooth transition:

1. Create a Safe Space: Set up a comfortable and safe area for your puppy to adjust to their new environment. This should include a cozy bed, food and water bowls, and toys to keep them entertained.

2. Puppy-Proof Your Home: Remove any potential hazards or dangerous items from your home to ensure your puppy’s safety. This includes securing electrical cords, removing toxic plants, and keeping small objects out of reach.

3. Prepare for Training: Start thinking about basic training and socialization. Establish a routine for feeding, potty breaks, and training sessions to help your puppy adapt to their new home.

4. Schedule a Vet Visit: Schedule a visit to the veterinarian shortly after bringing your puppy home. This allows you to ensure they are in good health and receive any necessary vaccinations or treatments.

Conclusion

At Mal Malpo Puppies, we are passionate about helping you find the perfect Teacup Maltese puppy to join your family. Our commitment to quality, health, and customer satisfaction makes us a leading provider of Teacup Maltese puppies for sale. Whether you’re looking for a loving companion or a tiny bundle of joy, we are here to make the process as enjoyable and rewarding as possible.

Explore our selection of Teacup Maltese puppies and discover the joy of owning a tiny, lovable companion. Contact us today to learn more about our available puppies and how we can assist you in finding your perfect match. Your new Teacup Maltese puppy is waiting to bring happiness and love into your life—let us help you make that connection today!

[douglashallkennels]

Is Maltipoo Right For You? Answering A Few FAQs

Thinking of bringing a Maltipoo pup home? One of the most sought-after designer breeds, they are the perfect blend of the playfulness of the Maltese with the intelligence of a poodle. But before actually looking up Maltipoos for sale, it is necessary to do a little bit of research and decide if they are a right fit for you. Here, we answer a few common questions to help you make an informed choice.

What Kind Of Temperament Do They Have?

In the canine world, Maltipoos are especially famous for their sweet and friendly personality. They love being showered with endless attention and love spending time with their human companions. They are highly affectionate and are a top choice for lap dogs. If you love the idea of cuddling up with a fur baby, they are just the breed you should opt for.

They are also playful and energetic, fitting right in with families and children. Their smartness, inherited from the poodle side, means they pick up the training pretty quickly, making the task incredibly hassle-free. However, they need a lot of playtime, so taking them out and giving them fun toys is paramount.

What Are Their Grooming Needs?

Maltipoos are just right for people with allergies as their quotes are considered hypoallergenic. But, to keep their coats smooth and tangle-free, they need regular grooming. Brushing them several times a week and grooming appointments now and then usually do the trick.

While there is no denying that they shed considerably less than other breeds, they, too, need some upkeep, just like other pups. Ensure you can give them the time and facilities they need to keep them looking gorgeous.

This content was originally published on: Douglas Hall Kennels LTD

This has been republished with permission.

Original Source: https://www.douglashallkennels.co.uk/maltipoo/is-maltipoo-right-for-you-answering-a-few-faqs/

[frankseddon]

Teacup shih tzu puppies for sale

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[lowellteacuppuppies]

cute baby teacup maltese puppies

teacup maltese puppy for sale

[yorkiebabies]

Adorable Shih Tzu Puppies for Sale at Yorkie Babies

Are you on the hunt for the perfect furry companion? Look no further, because Yorkie Babies has the most charming toy shih tzu puppies for sale that will melt your heart. Whether you're an experienced dog owner or a first-time pet parent, Shih Tzus make wonderful additions to any family. These small, affectionate dogs are known for their friendly personalities and stunning appearance. In this blog post, we'll introduce you to these adorable Shih Tzu puppies and share some additional information about other available breeds.

Meet the Shih Tzu Puppies at Yorkie Babies

At Yorkie Babies, we take pride in providing top-quality Shih Tzu puppies that are raised with love and care. Our Shih Tzus are well-socialized, healthy, and ready to bring joy to their new forever homes. Here are some reasons why Shih Tzu puppies are an excellent choice:

Cuteness Overload: Shih Tzus are famous for their cuteness. With their fluffy coats, expressive eyes, and charming personalities, they are sure to steal your heart.

Loving Companions: Shih Tzus are incredibly affectionate and enjoy being a part of the family. They thrive on human interaction and are known for their loyalty.

Low Maintenance: These little dogs have luxurious long coats, but don't be deterred by that. They are surprisingly easy to groom and maintain.

Great for Small Spaces: Shih Tzus are small in size, making them a perfect choice for apartment living. They adapt well to both large and small spaces.

Good with Kids: Shih Tzus are gentle and patient, which makes them an ideal choice for families with children.

Additional Information on Other Breeds

While Shih Tzus are the stars of the show at Yorkie Babies, we also offer other breeds for those looking for alternatives. If you're interested in other small dog breeds, we have some additional options for you to consider:

Cheap Maltese Puppies for Sale: Maltese puppies are renowned for their elegant appearance and sweet nature. Their long, silky white fur and loving temperament make them wonderful companions.

Miniature Maltese Puppies: If you prefer a smaller version of the already petite Maltese breed, we also offer miniature Maltese puppies. These pint-sized pups are just as adorable and affectionate as their standard-sized counterparts.

At Yorkie Babies, our goal is to match loving families with the perfect puppy to suit their lifestyle and preferences. Our Shih Tzu puppies, cheap Maltese puppies for sale, and miniature Maltese puppies are all raised with care, ensuring they are healthy, happy, and ready to bring joy to your life.

Contact Yorkie Babies Today

If you're ready to bring home an adorable Shih Tzu puppy or explore our other available breeds, visit our website at Yorkie Babies or give us a call at (954) 324-0149. We can't wait to help you find your new best friend! Yorkie Babies is your one-stop destination for adorable Shih Tzu puppies and other small dog breeds. Don't miss out on the opportunity to welcome a new furry family member into your home.

[tiarapets]

Maltese puppies for Sale Singapore

"Irresistible Maltese Puppies for Sale in Singapore - Your Perfect Furry Companion Awaits!"

Are you ready to welcome a bundle of joy into your life? At Tiara Pets SG, we are delighted to present our exquisite Maltese puppies for sale in Singapore. These enchanting fur babies are not just pets; they are affectionate, loyal companions that will bring boundless joy and love to your home.

The Maltese Magic

Maltese puppies are known for their irresistible charm and elegance. With their luxurious, snow-white coats, expressive eyes, and tiny paws, they're a breed that's impossible to resist. Maltese dogs are also renowned for their delightful personalities, making them ideal for families, individuals, and seniors alike.

Why Choose a Maltese Puppy from Tiara Pets SG?

At Tiara Pets SG, we have a passion for matching our clients with the perfect furry companions. Here's why our Maltese puppies are a cut above the rest:

Health and Well-being: Our Maltese puppies are raised in a loving and caring environment, ensuring they are happy, healthy, and well-socialized. We prioritize their well-being, and our puppies receive the best care possible.

Quality Bloodlines: Our puppies come from exceptional bloodlines, ensuring that you get a Maltese with the finest genetics and temperament.

Comprehensive Care: We provide our clients with a comprehensive care package for their new furry family member, including vaccinations, grooming advice, and nutrition guidelines.

Expert Guidance: Our knowledgeable team is always available to assist you in choosing the right puppy and offering advice on their care, training, and more.

Ethical and Responsible: At Tiara Pets SG, we uphold the highest ethical and responsible breeding standards, ensuring our puppies are well-cared for from birth to the moment they become part of your family.

A Lifetime of Love and Companionship

When you bring a Maltese puppy from Tiara Pets SG into your home, you're opening your heart to a lifetime of love and companionship. Maltese dogs are known for their affectionate nature, intelligence, and adaptability. They thrive in various living situations, from apartments to spacious homes.

Take the Next Step

Don't miss the opportunity to bring an enchanting Maltese puppy into your life. Visit our website at www.tiarapetssg.com to explore our available puppies and find your perfect match. Each puppy has a unique personality, so you can be sure to discover the one that fits seamlessly into your life.

Your Dream Maltese Awaits!

Tiara Pets SG is your gateway to finding the perfect Maltese puppy in Singapore. These lovable companions are ready to shower you with affection, loyalty, and an everlasting bond. Your dream Maltese is just a click away, so start your journey to unconditional love and joy today!

[caffeinatedkris]

Take 20% off all imprinted products through March 31. Use code AHHHHH

[sunwoo-hoo]

↣ the boyz reaction to s/o bringing home a pet / interacting with animals

↳ a/n: hello my darlings! we are back at it with another tbz reaction! this is for my lovely anon who requested this. i hope you don’t mind i altered the request a little bit. i’m so sorry that requests are coming out slowly but bear with me i’ll get through them. nevertheless, i hope you enjoy! also, all my reactions are canon to my boyfriend series so i highly recommend checking those out as well! ☻

↳ genre: fluffiest of fluff

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 2.7k

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon  」

it had been a week since you last saw sangyeon and you were finally going to see him, but you never would have guessed the unexpected to happen one rainy evening when it was nearly 35°F

as you were walking up to the dorms that’s when you heard tiny meows and spotted a small white kitten near the alley trying to make cover in a box

you instantly felt bad for the poor kitten due to the harsh weather conditions and it looked like it was lost from it’s mother

you swiftly picked up and tried your best to cover the tiny kitten with your jacket as you made your way inside the dorms

as sangyeon open the door he instantly smiled seeing your face giving you a cheek on this kiss

“what’s that sound?” he wondered as he heard the faint meows coming from your jacket

removing your jacket sangyeon saw the small kitten that was in your hands

“i found him outside, i couldn’t just leave him out there. do you think we can keep him?” you asked hopefully giving sangyeon your doe eyes

he sighed “i don’t know baby, we’re both really busy with our schedules.. he should be with a family where they can properly take care of him”

you nodded hating that he was right, you knew that you couldn’t take care of pet when you had a full time job and sangyeon had his idol responsibilities

sangyeon noticed your sadness and lifted your chin to look up at him “we’ll make sure that he’ll go to a loving home okay?” he promised

you smiled in response giving him a small peck setting the kitten down on the floor where he quickly ran under the table

「 Jacob Bae  」

you were excited, it was the day of your birthday and jacob wanted to make it extra special for you

he knew you always wanted a pet so he decided that you could go to the pet store and get any pet you wanted with his card

he wanted to go with you but unfortunately practice overlapped

nevertheless, you were ecstatic looking at all the different animals that were for sale, when your eyes finally landed on some caged rabbits

you smiled as you saw a light brown one with his long whiskers, in a way it reminded you of jacob

as you told the seller that was the animal you wanted, you bought all the corresponding items you would need like food, treats, toys, and a cage with a matching bowl set for his food and water

once you had everything you needed you made your way to the dorms to surprise jacob with your new pet

as you knocked on the door jacob answered noticing the huge cage covering your entire face and half your upper body

he laughed “what on earth did you buy?” trying to peek through the cage grabbing it from you with ease setting it on top of the dining table

“something that reminds of me of you” you smiled

“that’s funny because i don’t see a golden retriever anywhere” he teased

“this is better! just close your eyes” you instructed as jacob did was he was told

once you knew his eyes were closed you opened the cage and grabbed the rabbit holding it in your arms “okay open!”

when jacob opened eyes he saw the small brown rabbit in your hands “aw… you got a rabbit?” he asked scooping it from your hands wanting to see it closer

“yes!” you squealed not hiding your excitement as jacob set him down on the floor so that he could hop around

“well it’s super cute, and it suits you so well” he said giving you a kiss on the cheek before he continued “now c’mon i have more surprises for my birthday girl”

「 Kim Younghoon  」

you loved younghoon, you pretty much had the perfect little family including your little poodle bori

but when your friend texted you that her maltese dog had a litter of puppies you couldn’t deny that you wanted one, they were just so precious

you kept hinting at younghoon all week that you really wanted to snag one of your friend’s puppies

“younghoon look at this cute picture again” you grinned showing him your phone

“they are cute baby but we already have bori” he said glancing at the picture

“but bori needs a friend” you protested leaning your head on his shoulder “pleaseee?”

he let out a light sigh “we can go and look at them but no promises okay?”

you shrieked “yay that’s perfectly fine! i love you so much” you repeated grabbing his face giving him kisses all over

as expected when you and younghoon went to go see the maltese puppies he was excited and couldn’t deny their cuteness and agreed that you could get one

you ultimately decided on the runt of the litter which was a boy and the smallest out of all the puppies

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

it was fun weekend when your sibling asked you to take care of their pet hedgehog

at first you weren’t even going to mention it to hyunjae since he was busy but he decided to surprise you at your apartment one evening

that’s when he noticed the small cage in your living room that definitely wasn’t there before

“hey babe what’s this? did you get a pet?” he wondered curiously

“oh! no i didn’t i’m just watching him for the weekend while my sibling is out of town” you replied heading to the kitchen to get dinner started

as hyunjae opened the cage to get a closer look at the hedgehog it quickly curled up into a ball out of anxiousness pricking hyunjae’s fingers

“ah! it feels like needles” he nearly screamed closing the cage quickly

as you ran back into the living room to see what the commotion was all about you saw the hedgehog still curled up in a ball in the corner of his cage

“aw hyunjae you scared him” you said opening up the cage grabbing him carefully

the hedgehog slowly peeked out of his little ball and started to relax in your hands

hyunjae came up behind you laying his head on your shoulder trying to get a better look at the hedgehog’s face

“it looks cute, but he still hurt my hand” he whined playfully

rolling your eyes at him you set the hedgehog back inside the cage where he started to walk freely

you grabbed hyunjae’s hand giving it a small kiss trying to make him feel better

“it hurts here too babe” he said pointing to his lips smirking

you chuckled as you leaned in giving him a small peck

「 Lee Juyeon 」

you were visiting juyeon during practice when he finally met your pet turtle for the first time

it was a yellow-bellied slider turtle and it was still small enough that it fit in the palm of your hand

you walked in the studio with your small portable cage and saw juyeon practicing alone to new dance moves for the boyz next comeback

he smiled when he saw you through the mirror reflection turning around walking towards you giving you a peck on the lips

when he pulled apart he noticed the tiny cage in your hands

“hey babe, you didn’t have to come all this way to see me. i was gonna head to the dorms after” he said

“i know, but i wanted you to finally my meet my pet turtle. i’ve had him ever since i was little” you smiled taking your turtle out of the cage handing him over to juyeon

“he’s super cute” he commented as the turtle kept sticking its head in and out of his shell

as you both sat down on the floor you grabbed a little bit of juyeon’s fruit from the table and started to feed your turtle

juyeon laughed at how slowly the turtle was eating

“that was all the food i had for practice and it’s gonna take him at least 5 years to eat it all” he teased as you giggled in response

「 Kevin Moon 」

after dating for about a month kevin finally decided to visit your apartment for the first time

you were a bit apprehensive at first mostly because of your pet since you weren’t sure how he was going to react

as you walked into your apartment he casually looked around

“wow i’m jealous i think your place is bigger than our dorms” he commented

you laughed before stopping in front of your bedroom door

“okay, so don’t freak out but i have pet snake..” you told him hesitantly

“no way for real? can i see?” kevin asked excitedly

you nodded opening your bedroom door as you and kevin walked up to the medium sized cage in the corner of your room

“wow he looks really cool can i hold him?” kevin asked

“absolutely he’s actually really sweet” you replied taking out the medium green snake and handing him over

kevin held the snake in his hands while sticking out his tongue copying the snake as you smiled

“i actually have to give him away soon since i’m moving to another building and they don’t allow pets” you mumbled

“aw that sucks [name] i’m sorry, how about i help you find him a good home?” kevin asked placing the snake back in the cage

you nodded happily wanting nothing more

「 Choi Chanhee 」

you weren’t expecting that this was the way that chanhee would meet a pet mouse for the first time

it was a memorable experience to say the least

when chanhee was on vlive you figured now was the time for him to meet the cute little mouse

“i’ll be right back deobi’s i’m gonna bring a friend” you smiled

chanhee gave you a confused look as far as he knew it was just you and him that were gonna do the vlive together

once you came back into the room chanhee turned his chair to greet the new acquaintance but the first thing you heard was his screams

“love what is that? is it a rat?” he shrieked as he covered his mouth in disbelief

“no! it’s my pet mouse, doesn’t he look cute deobi’s?” you asked showing him to the camera

“look at his cute little round ears” you added as chanhee was still giving you puzzled looks

“oh love, i don’t know…” he finally said looking at the mouse from afar and at his phone reading deobi’s comments

you giggled responding “relax chanhee it’s my neighbors mouse, i just wanted to see your reaction”

he sighed putting his hand over his chest dramatically “love you almost gave me a heart attack in front of deobi’s”

“sorry deobi!” you apologized sincerely leaving the room

“what just happened?” chanhee asked the camera jokingly

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

it was a nice sunny day when you and changmin decided to take a walk through the city

it was a spontaneous day, doing everything that caught you and changmin’s eye like the cafe and shopping

as you both were making your way home that’s when you spotted the pet store asking changmin if you can go in

“changmin-a, can we go there?” you asked pointing to the pet store

“of course babe, i was thinking about getting some new fish” he grinned grabbing your hand

as you both walked around the store looking at the various fishes and reptitles that’s when you saw a cage full of adorable hamsters

“aw changmin look how cute these are, they look just like you! especially that one” you pointed laughing at the individual hamster in the corner eating with its cheeks puffed

changmin laughed showing his adorable smile agreeing before asking the seller if he could hold one

the seller opened the cage and handed changmin a hamster to hold

you quickly took out your polaroid camera as changmin started to pose with the hamster

the rest of the day was spent taking pictures with all the animals in the pet store

「 Juhaknyeon 」

it was a chill day spending it haknyeon on his rare day off

as you two were watching t.v with your head on his lap you were casually scrolling through your phone

that’s when you saw an ad for a chameleon that was for sale

you didn’t know much about chameleon’s besides thet fact that they were really cool looking and that their skin camouflaged itself to hide from prey

you gently tapped on haknyeon who was slowly starting falling asleep

“haknyeon look someone is selling their pet chameleon” you said lightly trying to wake him up

“hmm? that’s nice babe” he replied still half asleep

“can we go and see it?” you asked hopefully

“mm, sure babe” he murmured bending down to kiss your forehead before falling back asleep

a couple of days later you were seeing the chameleon for the first time even though haknyeon barely rememberd the conversation on going

“this is him” the older lady introduced you two to her loving chameleon adding “would you like to hold him?”

you nodded enthusiastically as she grabbed the chameleon and placed it on your forearm

haknyeon lightly touched his back commenting on the odd texture

you then placed it on top of haknyeon’s forearm and saw the chameleon changing colors to haknyeon’s jacket

“wow, this is officially the coolest pet ever let’s get him” haknyeon’s said smiling

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

kim sunwoo loved you, in fact he adored you. in his eyes you could do no wrong

but he also loved the two lovebirds you had together as pets as they reminded him of your relationship

the birds were always together, eating, sleeping, and flying simultaneously

the male lovebird had a black face with a grey body and his name was jae

while the female was light blue with white body with her name being eun

he especially loved it whenever he would come home from practice and they would fly all over the dorm

“sunwoo wait, jae is on top of your head” you giggled as sunwoo entered the apartment taking off his shoes

you pointed your index finger outward as jae flew on top of it landing easily

jae quickly flew over to his wooden play stand walking to eun as she was eating from the bird feeder

sunwoo pulled you close wrapping his arms around your waist pressing light kisses in the crook of your neck from behind

“how was your day?” he murmured in between kisses

you moaned in response “so much better now that you’re here”

sunwoo smiled as you both heard the the faint chirps from jae and eun in the background

「 Eric Sohn 」

one of the reasons you loved hanging out with eric was because he always made you feel like a little kid again

it was his idea to spend the day with you at an amusement park where you two went on countless rides and ate all the junk food you can eat

you both decided that it would be best to take a break from all the rides and go to the park’s animal exhibit

“wow babe come look a this” eric exclaimed excitedly pulling your hand running towards the reptile exhibit

you giggled in response at his energy following right behind

you both took in all the different snakes, lizards, and turtles before you finally stopped in front of an exhibit where a worker was explaining one of the lizards they had which was a bearded dragon

“now would anyone like to hold him?” the worker announced to the onlookers

“i would!” eric grinned raising his hand in response

as you both walked closer to get a better look the worker handed eric the bearded dragon where he was also explaining more fun facts and instructions on how to hold him properly

“hold still eric i wanna make sure i get a picture of this” you smiled taking out your phone

after you took a few snaps you sent it to the boyz group chat where texts started to flood in

you laughed when you read hyunjae’s comment saying that the bearded dragon looked like eric

eric peeked at your phone to see what was so funny until he read hyunjae’s text

“just wait, he won’t laugh once he finds a bearded dragon on his bed” eric chuckled mischievously

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[maltesepoopalace]

Discover Your Perfect Companion at Mal Malpo Puppies

At Mal Malpo Puppies, we are passionate about helping you find the perfect teacup puppy to join your family. Our commitment to quality, health, and customer satisfaction sets us apart as a leading provider of teacup puppies for sale. Whether you are looking to buy teacup puppies for the first time or add a new member to your family, we are here to make the process as enjoyable and rewarding as possible

[sourwormsaresour]

Headcanons on the type of pets La Squadra would own?

Holy shit this was too fun to make, especially with giving the pets names.

Sorbet and Gelato have their own Crusty-White-Dog™ that's a Maltese Terrier named Armani. The dog hates and barks nonstop at everything deemed threatening (aka, everyone and particularly the rest of La Squadra) and yet those two will claim she's the sweetest thing in the world. True to her name, they deck her with Armani branded clothes, either specially made dog fashion or they had a DIY done to make it look like an Armani outfit- down to the bright pink leash she wears dripping in the Armani logo. She eats the finest dry kibble and only drinks Ferrarelle Sparkling water; she will know the difference if you switch it up. She's the epitome of "I demand pets but only do so with your eyes" to everyone. Despite loving Sorbet and Gelato the most, she demands all their attention on her and she will cockblock those two if she catches them being affectionate to each other instead. Despite having a nice bed, she always sleeps between the two of them and will whimper if they kick her out of the bedroom so they can get intimate. Those tear-stained eyes always look like they've seen everything, despite being constantly babied by her owners. If Armani could, she would kill everyone.

Risotto, the biggest man in Vento Aureo, has a little Syrian hamster he called Ace. He thought that a pet with a shorter lifespan would allow him the perfect balance of having a pet but not being very attached to it compared to pets that live longer- he was wrong. If you ever come into Risotto's office as he worked, either you are greeted with Ace running around in his green hamster ball, walking around Risotto's desk as he worked, or running in the hamster wheel behind the desk. Ace's tank is an old Aquarium tank Pesci gave to Risotto that is now full of soft bedding, toys, and Risotto frequently cleans it. There are days where Risotto just spends hours watching his hamster walk around the room, eating little treats, and staring at Risotto with its beady eyes. It's gotten to the point where you can't walk into Risotto's office without noticing a lone sunflower seed or piece of bedding on the ground that Risotto didn't notice until you pointed it out. Every time Ace passes from old age, Risotto buys a new Syrian hamster and calls that one Ace. He hasn't kept track of how many hamsters that came and went so far, but treated every one of them as if they were the first Ace. He takes pictures of Ace doing the most relatively boring things and will share them with his members.

Illuso got a Sulphur-crested cockatoo named Scapino as a joke. He thought they didn’t require much attention but later felt bad when he found out that they need specific proper care. He proceeds to care for it as if it was his child. Illuso taught his bird how to speak and swear at people, specifically swearing at Formaggio and occasionally at Ghiaccio. This man will shower his bird with the best treats (expensive nuts, dried fruit, chicken bones) and has a special bar for it to perch on when they're in the shower together. This bird has free reign all over Illuso's place and wears a little anklet thing to verify that it has an owner should it escape. The two of them have spa days together and it’s one of the most wholesome things in the world to witness. Scapino will actually join Illuso on missions too, staying in the mirror world the whole time, and it provides him some comfort from his social anxiety. Sometimes Scapino sits on his shoulder as he walks. Illuso trained it to stay and hide in the mirror world so that it wouldn’t fly away or blow his cover when he’s working. But the bird will fly around in there and will watch anyone that’s getting murked in front of him with no remorse and commenting on it too. Imagine you’re dying in the mirror world and your last moment is this fucking bird looming over you going “night night, motherfucker”. JESUS CHRIST. 

Prosciutto used to be on the whole “pets are unnecessary” train but he had considered looking at breeders for the best quality dog. And then one rainy day he found an abandoned Portuguese Water Dog puppy in an alleyway and at Pesci’s insistence took it in. Turns out the puppy was bought by a rich family for their kid but then abandoned when the kid wasn't interested in it anymore. Prosciutto insisted that the dog was going to stay for one night and then sent to the pound first thing in the morning. It's been years now and the little dog is now a big fluffy good boy named Pon Pon. The second biggest chunk of Prosciutto's paycheck is for this dog; I'm talking grooming services with paw-ticures, an all-organic raw diet, the nicest beds that even a human would wish they can sleep on. Pon Pon is properly trained with all the basics and tricks, because Prosciutto doesn't want to deal with a misbehaving dog, but it will use puppy eyes against the old man now and then. He give you the best smiles if you call him a good boy and if you glance at the right time you can see Prosciutto smile for a brief moment. Had he lived longer, he would have made Pon Pon famous on Facebook like Boo the Dog. Prosciutto will also not admit that this dog has helped him get laid a few times, because every person he did bring home always got a kick out of Pon Pon.

Ghiaccio has a pet snake- an albino ball python named Bianco. Ghiaccio was also on the “pets are unnecessary” train too but mainly because he can't stand loud pets (i.e. Illuso and Sorbet and Gelato’s pets). When Risotto suggested he get a snake, Ghiaccio looked into it, researching and meticulously setting up the proper enclosure  and found himself going to a local reptile expo to find Bianco for sale. He’s fascinated by his snake to say the least, and would use leftover containers or Tupperware for Bianco to spend more money on proper equipment or food. Ghiaccio is really involved in online reptile forums and frequently debates with people on topics such as the best substrates to use, whether live rodents are better than frozen, ethics of breeding certain species, etc. He often gets worried when Bianco becomes picky and Ghiaccio would spend sleepless nights trying to get his baby to eat. Ghiaccio would walk around with his ball python wrapped around his neck or lets him slither around in his room under supervision but he mostly leaves him alone in the enclosure. There are times where he would claim he has the best, smartest pet and everyone just rolls their eyes like “yes the white fettuccine that got stuck in a toilet paper roll an hour ago is so smart”. But they let him rant about it. It’s kind of cute to say the least.

Pesci is the definition of people whose entire LIVELIHOOD is making his room into an aquarium. His room is full of strictly maintained, cleaned, and decorated tanks full of various types of aquatic animals. I’m talking Dwarf Puffers (Antonio, Portia, Jessica, Bassiano, and Solanio), Albino Gold Axolotls (Moe, Larry, and Curly), Red Ear Sliders (Franco and Ciccio), Clown Fishes (Browser, Mario, Toadstool, and Koopa), Brazilian Sea Horses (Tom and Jerry), a Blue Betta Fish named Valentina in a 30+ gallon aquaponics tank that grows a variety of plants each season- to name a few. He rebuilt his entire room to keep everything running and even had Melone help him set up timers for lighting and temperature control. Pesci will cry if you somehow made the pH level off by 1 or did not care for his animals properly when he’s away. He’ll even lecture you about bad tank setup. He's a prominent member of the aquarium  community in Italy and will regularly redecorate each tank to suit the year and mood. This is where he’s spending his cut on the 20 million lira job: caring for his mini aquarium room. He occasionally gives away his pets’ offsprings for extra money (he doesn’t breed but sometimes he ends up having a ton of baby animals he can’t take care of) and would have been a YouTuber for his fish content. Now that I think about it, Pesci reminds me of my mutual @nexter2nd. Please go follow them.

Melone has a Holland Lop bunny and you cannot change my mind. He actually had a pet bunny growing up, another Holland Lop named Echo and Grep, and his current one is named Sudo; all three are named after UNIX commands. He has a large dog crate he diy-ed to be a roomy enclosure in his room for her that he cleans frequently but also allows Sudo free reign of the room when she wants to go out. Because of his job, he makes sure all his wires are covered so his bunny isn't tempted to chew them and watches his bunny diligently whenever she roams around. Easter time is when the denim jacket, pastel bows, and flower crowns come out and Melone makes sure to take a lot of photos. He also housetrained his bunny and taught her a few tricks, similar to how he trained Echo and Grep years ago. Sudo is spoiled in terms of getting a lot of pets, new toys, and feasts on the finest veggies and delicious hay. Melone also makes sure the first thing he teaches his Juniors is to not harm the bunny. Surprisingly, he's against breeding Sudo and has her neutered. This is mainly because he doesn't have the time to breed and raise more bunnies but also he hates the idea of selling the grown bunnies off afterward. 

You know that Formaggio has a cat: the little Russian Blue cat named Sweetie Baby. Sweetie Baby was a kitten that he found outside his home. The little thing was the sole survivor of its litter and nearly starving to death, so he took her in thinking he will bring her to the shelter when she recovers; that cat now lets him live in HER apartment rent-free. Despite feeding her cheap dry food and constantly shoving her into bottles, he treats her like a queen otherwise. He will dress her up in little outfits (much to her annoyance) and often would be too aggressively affectionate towards her. Still, there are moments where she would cuddle with him during the later nights and allow him to put on one iced-out bow he just spent a quarter of his paycheck on. Walking to his apartment and even the backdoor of La Squadra’s HQ means carefully walking through the stray cats mewling at your feet, because Formaggio will feed any cat he sees. Initially, Risotto wanted the cats gone, but then he finds out the cats doubled as security when he watched some robber attempting to break in but getting their eyes scratched off instead.

[zamgoods]

ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING Codes

I love this show.  It’s just so smart and funny and interesting.  It involves all of the senses.  And Selena Gomez reminds me of how great an actress she was in Wizards of Waverly Place.  Star cameos in every episode, is alluring.  But there are blaring horns that I just can’t ignore.  No Matter how much I try to deafen my ears.

Only Murders in the Building released 8.31.2021 the 20th anniversary of Aaliyah Dana Haughton’s funeral in 2001 as well as Princess Diana's 23rd death anniversary in 1997.  Also R.Kelly’s fake marriage with Aaliyah in 1995.

It’s all about Tim Kono.  not a SPOILER...The trailer tells you this. Seems like conspiracy theory bait,  but look at the first episode and get drawn in at the seemingly mundane to the uninitiated.  You have to have the right perspective.  We will look at this with 2020 lenses.  That’s right Corona/Covid-19.  

Episode 1.  A fallen star and fallen theater director.  The first is approached by a gen x fan whose baby boomer dad has ALS (High God) .  The latter almost gets hit by a car.  He referenced his purple coat.  Royal purple.  They are joined in the ELevator (God /Cubit) that seems to take a life of its own throughout the series.  URSA-la (bear) is the deliverer.  They lure us curious folk in by the sponsors for the podcast of All is not OK in Oklahoma.  Rand Corporation, Milton and Miriam Swann Foundation for the Arts of Dissolving the Federal Reserve, Royal Crown Cruises,  Royal Prince of Dubai and Trader Joe’s.  Tongue and cheek it may be.  Their shared love of this podcast brings them to share a table at LIBRizzi’s.  Putnam recounts a show called Claire de Lune (moonshine) about a man trying to go up a staircase, falling off, and bouncing back up again. 

The Fall of Zoe plummeting from the roof to the ground without the Emerald ring, New Years Eve 10 years ago. Lives on 11th floor

Gemini...Stunt Double...Twins also mentioned by Officer Williams for hating twins (randomly)

God pushed Life over the edge  Theo and Zoe

Brazzos is arm... Cubit... Maltese Falcon The Black Bird 

Charles AKA Brazzos was Poisoned paralyzed breathing into toxic napkin handkerchief for his nose bleed.  Neighbors though he was inTOXICated with the Irish FLU.

Silence due to deafness.  Silencing truth.  Silence Do Good Letters to decode map of treasure on the back of Declaration of Independence.  Revolutionary War. July 7th 1776.  Harpo, Horus as a child.  Black Bird.  Isis Son.  

Elevator  encounters...Prince died in one.  The Devil.  Lift up and down.  

Oliver, Mabel Moro, Charles Haden Savage

Emma Lucy 7 family fun, Evelynold cat, Sevelyn new cat. .CAT

Tim (TIme) poisoned before shot (vaccine). 9A   Fireplace back on after Tim died.  (heath.. aronia).

Zoe 11th floor

Time-Life 9/11   11/9LifeTime   HaySaturn/Chronos-

Bunny ( rabbit hole) dead by knitting needle to the Chest.  Jab to the Chest.  Reminds me of the Epinephrine pin or Adrenaline injection to the heart during emergency Overdose.  Needle Narcone.

Deli Sub Greek Grave robber for treasures Black market dealer Angel inc yaya

Jewels (green emerald ring Zoe stole)  St Corona patron saint of Treasure hunters.

Bassoon player Wind instrument named Jan Bellows.  Ventilator Respirations

Jan 6th floor.  Insurrection at Capitol on 1.1.2021.  Jan’s lil toxins Heart.  Love Venom Love potion I knew she stabbed herself.

Loneliness/ alone...imprisoned

J notes.  J key ( 2020 movie Flora& Ulysses)  I found that J key is a military device used to send Morse Code Messages.  Perhaps there is Morse code in the series.  

J is the newest letter in English ABC.  10th letter in ABC order. Roman Numeral X= 10.    Eagle Eye movie, little boys trumpet hit the_F_ Key to activate the jewel on mom’s necklace.  

In 2020 Soul movie, Joe and 22 kept meeting at the half note. And the Moondance guy spun a 50 % off sale sign on 14 &7th.  In Morse code a dit is half of a dash.  At the Half Note Jazz club, 22 in Joe’s body wearing a blue suit, the signs together say Rot whole note symbol looks like a J.  In  the Alphabet Rotational Cipher, ROT stands for rotation, where you shift the alphabet by half.  13 letters.  So if j key is rotated you get this.

So weird because, the spin is just like the Caesarean Cipher of 13 shift at M. 

  Also the frequency that vibrates Venom/ parasite off of the host is 4000-6000 hertz. 

   5G= 57 or EG or VG Wi-Fi frequency.  The 7 note in major scale  cdefgab, G is the 5th note..   7th letter of English Alphabet is G.    The major 7th note name is G# .

Soul Easter egg the Tina Fey Character, 22, kept saying OKAY repeatedly so Joe told her to stop so she said “got it.” Interestingly Tina Fey’s character,  Cindy Canning, renown podcaster All Is Not OK in Oklahoma. THis reminds me of Men In Black 3, Agent O loved Agent K and Agent J.   

Steam/pneuma spirit  In the Basement Mabel was placed adjacent to a STEAM sign.

Trojan Horse-Ulysess. Sack of Troy.

Arconia...Archonians  House. Maisons

Sting...Vaccine, Turkey, dog (winnie), Irish Flu (drunk).  Sting Police I’ll be watching you Fields of gold.

 Ending Police car 6164 Mabel Moro stabs/jabs bunny with knitting needle  Hardy boys falls after being on roof.

How many floors in the Arconia?

Who tipped the police and oliver & charles?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/study-adrenaline-injection-for-cardiac-arrest-may-cause-more-harm-than-good/

[yorkiebabies]

Affordable Maltese Puppies: Your Dream Companion Awaits!

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Elegance and Beauty: Maltese puppies are known for their striking, all-white coats that exude elegance and grace. Their tiny size and silky fur make them a joy to behold.

Gentle Temperament: Maltese dogs are renowned for their gentle and affectionate nature. They're incredibly loyal and form strong bonds with their owners, making them ideal companions for singles, couples, and families alike.

Low Maintenance Grooming: Despite their luxurious coats, Maltese puppies are surprisingly low-maintenance when it comes to grooming. Regular brushing and occasional professional grooming sessions keep them looking their best.

Compact and Adaptable: Maltese puppies are small in size, making them suitable for both apartments and larger homes. They adapt well to various living situations and thrive in close proximity to their human families.

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At Yorkie Babies, we're committed to making your dream of owning a Maltese puppy a reality without breaking the bank. Our affordable Maltese puppies are raised with love and care, ensuring they are healthy, happy, and ready to become a cherished part of your family.

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Affordable Maltese puppies from Yorkie Babies offer a blend of elegance, charm, and companionship that's within reach for budget-conscious pet lovers. Make your dreams come true and bring home your very own Maltese puppy today!

[tzorah]

*𝙱𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳 𝙸 𝙷𝙾𝙿𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙴𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙳𝙰𝚈.

𝟶𝟶𝟷. my body is a cage - arcade fire. i'm living in an age / whose name i don't know / though the fear keeps me moving / still my heart beats so slow / my body is a cage / that keeps me from dancing with the one i love / but my mind holds the key.

𝟶𝟶𝟸. mother may i sleep with danger? - joy crookes. mother may i sleep with danger, please? / it's been knocking on my door since i was seventeen / oh, oh, and you saw but you choose to ignore / but now it's more than a wish, it's a dream.

𝟶𝟶𝟹. runaway - aurora. and i was runnin' far away / would i run off the world someday? / but now take me home / take me home where i belong / i got no other place to go / now take me home.

𝟶𝟶𝟺. tiny star - the blasting company. when your were gone, the earth moved / and swallowed me inside / but know i will follow you / follow you into the night / your eyes are a thousand times deeper than the sky / and i am a tiny star, falling for all time.

𝟶𝟶𝟻. dance on the moon - aurora. i dance as i'm falling, but i never touch the ground / one day, i will penetrate the earth / and explode in motion sounds / and if i listen, will my mouth be filled with fire? / will i laugh or will i cry?

𝟶𝟶𝟼. like real people do - hozier. i will not ask you where you came from / i will not ask you, neither should you / honey just put your sweet lips on my lips / we should just kiss like real people do.

𝟶𝟶𝟽. cosmic love - florence + the machine. i took the stars from my eyes, and then i made a map / and knew that somehow i could find my way back / then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too / so i stayed in the darkness with you.

𝟶𝟶𝟾. apple tree - aurora. digging my feet into the ground like an apple tree / wanting to live with a purpose / skin is a word, love is not a sin / people are bad, people are good / just like the moon is a stone / but it's a star when it's dark / and now she's hiding.

𝟶𝟶𝟿. we might be dead by tomorrow - soko. give me all your love now / 'cause for all we know / we might be dead by tomorrow / i can't go on wasting my time / adding scars to my heart / 'cause all i hear is "i'm not ready enough".

𝟶𝟷𝟶. rabbit heart - florence + the machine. i look around, but i can't find you / if only i could see your face / instead of rushing towards the skyline / i wish that i could just be brave/ i must become a lion hearted girl / ready for a fight / before i make the final sacrifice.

𝟶𝟷𝟷. as the world caves in - matt maltese. you put your final suit on / i paint my fingernails / oh, we're going out in style, babe / and everything's on sale / we creep up on extinction / i pull your arms right in / i weep and say goodnight, love.

𝟶𝟷𝟸. running with the wolves - aurora. but we're running out of time / oh, all the echoes in my mind cry / there's blood on your lies / the sky's open wide / there is nowhere for you to hide / the hunter's moon is shining / i’m running with the wolves tonight.

𝟶𝟷𝟹. dinner & diatribes - hozier. a pillar i am of pride / scarcely can speak for my thinking / what you'd do to me tonight / now that the evening is slowing / now that the end is in sight / honey, it's easier knowing / what you'd do to me tonight.

𝟶𝟷𝟺. a different kind of human - aurora. i guess you are a different kind of human / we have come here for you, and we're coming in peace / mothership will take you on higher, higher / this world you live in is not a place for someone like you / come on, let us take you home.

𝟶𝟷𝟻. heartlines - florence + the machine. just keep following / the heartlines on your hand / keep it up, i know you can / just keep following / the heartlines on your hand / 'cause i am.

𝟶𝟷𝟼. wasteland, baby! - hozier. and the day that we'll watch the death of the sun / that the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / then you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs / wasteland, baby / i'm in love / i'm in love with you / and i'll love to / let love soon might end / and be known in it's aching / but shown in the shaking / lately of my wasteland, baby / be still, my indelible friend / you are unbreaking. 

𝟶𝟷𝟽. mortal - vivian. how many lifetimes have you lived through? / how many planets have you been to? / mere mortal standing in the sun / have i asked too much of you? / here are the strangers we don't speak to / lost along the way, lost / i will be brave, i will be brave / and take my love to the grave.

𝟶𝟷𝟾. under stars - aurora. mad world beats outside our hearts / times of need we are apart / under stars we are alone / under stars.

[ndcicic]

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I have a cold and that makes me Grinch-like on the best of days, but when A said that her brother and his girlfriend wanted to visit Bronner’s in Frankenmuth during their visit to Michigan, I agreed to go in the hopes that I would get to arrange some decorations into pentagrams or change the letters in “Santa” to “Satan” because I am still a small child at heart who just wants to make my mother proud.

But Bronner’s is not your average Christmas store. Located in Frankenmuth, aka “Michigan’s Little Bavaria” (think the Germany section of the Small World ride, but not as subtle), Bronner’s CHRISTmas Wonderland (yup) is 96,000 square feet of Jesus, Santa, and nothing else. It is the pride of joy of an evangelical family’s corporation that exists for one purpose and one purpose only—to bring Christmas with a capital Christ to all.

I’m kidding. They’re in it for the money. They sell 600,000 ornaments a year. Jesus would take that money and give it to the poor, right? Does Bronner’s? Nope. They have to pay that electric bill.

Of course, the Bronner folks have every right to make money—this is America, after all—and if they make a fortune off the image of a baby born to refugees and use that fortune to support a regime that murders refugee children, well . . . they have to pay that electric bill.

It goes without saying that only the whitest version of Jesus is sold in this store.

A dropped us off at the west entrance. The parking lot was packed, and she claimed she had some urgent emails to send even thought it was the day before New Year’s Eve so she would hang out at a coffee shop until we were ready to go.

She is the smartest person I know.

I ventured in with her brother and his girlfriend and almost immediately lost them. Oh well, I thought, they said they’d meet me by the big Christmas tree.

Uh-oh.

Two million people visit this windowless Jesus and sparkles themed escape room every year, and a good chunk of them were in the store with me, buying decorations for a holiday that was only 360 days away. And none of the stuff was even on sale!

The ornaments were pretty fascinating, I have to say. They had every walk of life and interest covered: there were ornaments celebrating nail techs, plumbers, people who donate blood, people who drive RVs, drone pilots, dental hygienists, Bigfoot and even Martin Luther, who would definitely hate this entire store.

How much would I love to tour this thing with Martin Luther, and then take a picture of his face when he saw his own ornament?

It would probably look exactly the same.

But as I wandered the aisles and watched the delight in people’s faces when they finally found their ornament, the jaunty bauble that meant they too, had a place in the Bronner’s world of Christmas, whether they were a welder or a guinea pig owner or someone who liked garage sales, I realized something.

No LGBT section. Not a single rainbow ornament.

This store is run by people who are presenting their idea of a perfect world, a world where everyone loves Jesus and Santa and it’s Christmas every day, and where people like me do not exist.

So there were entire shelves of “Mr. and Mrs.” ornaments and ornaments commemorating engagements, weddings, and anniversaries, but all exceedingly heteronormative. Every ornament had a gown and a tux and that was that, no one else allowed. There were Mr. Fix-It ornaments, but no Miss or Mrs. Fix-It.

And that’s their loss, because all the lesbians would buy those.

I got excited when I saw an ornament of two penguins cuddling, but no, one penguin had a top hat and the other had a hair bow.

At least the penguins had their own designated section. So did video gamers, Australians and cats.

Actually, the cat section could secretly double as the lesbian section, so take that, Bronner’s.

There are worse places to be excluded, of course. And I’m happy for everyone who never expects to find an ornament and then gets one. I mean, accountants have three designs which seems a little greedy, but whatever.

I started to cheer up a bit in the countries section, probably because it reminded me a little of Epcot. There were ornaments that said Merry Christmas in dozens of languages—even Maltese (a language spoken by only half a million people!) and Esperanto (a made-up language that I’ve only ever encountered in the movie Gattaca).

Everyone was represented—Canada by moose and yetis (I do love a yeti!), Italy by wine, pizza and “I ♥ Ravioli” (legit), Sweden by Vikings, China by pandas (imagine that fight!), and Mexico by chili peppers and sugar skulls. A nice bit of pandering to a country whose people are declared less than human on a daily basis by the evangelical-supported regime.

Africa . . . is not a country, but Bronner’s doesn’t care. Nothing to reflect the staggering diversity of traditions and cultures here, take your monkeys and Black Santa and go.

Ooh, what country is this? Never mind, we’re in the pop culture section now. The Grateful Dead bears made me smile—a little bit of rainbow, at last.

Aww, finally found something that speaks to my family’s culture.

I had traveled the entire store, examined every shelf, and had not found a single whisper of LGBT representation. Nothing against people who speak Maltese (very cool language, it has traces of ancient Phoenician!) but there are way more LGBT folks than people who speak Maltese. Especially in Michigan, which is 5,000 miles from Malta.

Aside from making a perfectly nice lesbian with a cold feel even crappier, exclusion is bad for business. A lot of capitalists are picking up on that. I guess Bronner’s is getting left behind.

My feet were starting to drag. I’d been listening to Christmas carols and cash registers dinging and children melting down for over an hour. Finally, one ornament spoke to me. I had a place in Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland after all.

But I couldn’t justify spending the money. A’s brother and his girlfriend texted me that they were done, and they met me at the only shrine that wasn’t dedicated to Jesus or Santa.

A rolled up and brightly asked, “How was it?” as we staggered back out into the real world, while “Blue Christmas” played and a dozen life-size Santas and Elvis bid us farewell.

On my way out I noticed this picture, which will haunt me forevermore. I don’t know what Mega Jesus is doing peeking into windows at the United Nations, but if I worked there and saw a giant hippie tapping on the window, I’d head right for the exit.

The girlfriend bought three ornaments: a very pretty glass turtledove, a porcelain deviled egg for her mom, who makes really good deviled eggs, and a wheel of Parmesan cheese from the Italy section.

A wanted to know if I’d bought anything. “Didn’t they have any gay ornaments?” she asked with such hope. I said I couldn’t find any.

“Oh well,” she sighed. “Anyway, Jesus was born in April! This is all pagan stuff, so joke’s on them!”

Escape from Bronner’s Christmas Wonderland I have a cold and that makes me Grinch-like on the best of days, but when A said that her brother and his girlfriend wanted to visit Bronner's in Frankenmuth during their visit to Michigan, I agreed to go in the hopes that I would get to arrange some decorations into pentagrams or change the letters in "Santa" to "Satan" because I am still a small child at heart who just wants to make my mother proud.