#BUT also i feel like the certain parts of the lyrics fit so so well; i'm just like that's mer-jakey coded and we ignore the rest

[concreteangel92]

The Angel Of The Night

AU Noah Sebastian x female reader

18+

Warnings: smut, PiV, oral (female receiving) praise kink, slight obsessive/stalker elements (this is based off of the ghost of the opera house himself 🤣) talks of the death of loved ones, dark romance, I’m pretty sure that’s it

So this has been in the works since August when I watched the phantom of the opera in Greece on my first night there haha I’ve always loved this show (west end and film!) and I even have a tattoo dedicated to it so it was a no brainer to me that Noah would fit perfectly into this aesthetic!

The mask (especially the new one!!) the glove, his voice all mixed with an old theatre and gothic aesthetic and atmosphere? Hell fucking yes!!

Remember that this is an inspired fic so you’ll see familiar names, themes, etc but it’s not the actual whole story! But if you’re a fan of the soundtrack, you may recognise a few lyrics here and there 🤭

I hope you all enjoy it, it’s a long one so grab yourself a cuppa and I’ll see you on the next fic. Also please let me know your thoughts!! I’d love to know what you all think as this is definitely the longest I’ve ever spent writing one story haha let me know, you can always message me anonymously if you’re shy 🖤

Tags: @triedbimsoblu333 @I00na24 @iluvmewwwww75 @veronicaphoenix @tosoundlessdarkistare @specialstay @dsireland86 @philomenie @clingylittlebun-blog @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lilcrazy011

Masterlist

You’d been with your theatre company since you were a child, having lost your parents at a young age, the opera house is all you have ever really known.

You loved it here, the old theatre was your home. You knew every wing like the back of your hand, every creaky floorboard backstage, how the orchestra pit echoed when no one was in it, you knew the creepiest parts that no one like to venture into. You loved it all, it was your sanctuary.

There was something about the theatre that made you feel at peace, standing up on the stage in front of a huge audience, hearing their cheers and cries that made your heart swell. The heat of the spotlights, the magic you felt as you danced to beat of the live music, everything about it made you feel so alive.

The year was 1870 in Paris and you were currently playing the leading role in the current opera ‘Hannibal’

It was your debut as the leading lady and to say you were nervous was an understatement.

You walked quietly around the empty stalls of the theatre, taking in its musky smell, the beautiful architecture of the building and the huge crystal chandelier that hung high above your head. You ran your fingers across the old red velvet on the chair in front of you and sat yourself down in one of the seats near the pit.

The stage was empty but you could hear the hustle and bustle backstage of the cast and crew getting everything ready for opening night tonight, although there was still hours to go, there was still much more that needed to be set up.

You fiddled with your fingers nervously in your lap, taking a deep breath, you couldn’t help but speak aloud softly.

“Please….please let tonight go well”

You kept your eyes closed as you leant back in the chair, allowing a moment for yourself to process the evening that you knew lay ahead. You were certain you had been alone….until you heard his voice.

From high up above your head, in the gods, you heard his beautiful, ethereal voice humming down to you.

With a small gasp, you opened your eyes and looked up into darkness, and there amongst the ropes and pulleys of the backdrops and lights, you saw his silhouette and instantly a small smile appeared on your lips.

“There you are”

Your words were barely a whisper, your angel of music was right there with you. You should have known he wouldn’t be far away.

“Y/N what are you doing down there? You need to get ready for tonight!”

You tore your eyes away from your mysterious friend and saw your teacher/guardian Madame Giry standing in the wings on stage left.

“Yes Madame”

You casted up eyes up once more to the heavens to see that he was gone, like a ghost who was never there in the first place.

•••••

He was nicknamed the ‘Opera Ghost’

No one in the theatre ever questioned that box 5 was always left empty so no customer could use it, people ignored the eerie echoes of his angelic singing that seemed to come from no where all around the old building. No one had ever seen him fully, only catching glimpses of his shadow in the night.

No one, but you.

You were the only person to have had any interaction with the ghost. He had started visiting you when you were a child, you were 8 years old when your parents had met their tragic end and you were fated to the theatre. It wasn’t long after that you started to hear his voice in the night.

It started off with just singing, he comforted you when you were crying yourself to sleep, not having come to terms with the loss of your parents and the change that was about to happen within your life. You had felt so alone, you hardly knew anyone within the company, the only reason you came to be here was because Madame Giry was a close friend to your mother and she had agreed to take you in when they died.

But in those long, lonely first nights and weeks, his beautiful voice helped you drift off to sleep.

As the years went on, the beautiful voice became deeper and he started to talk to you quietly from within the walls, the mirror, you never knew exactly where he was but you always knew he was there.

In recent years, he had been singing your songs with you, helping you train your soprano skills, a patient teacher and a loyal companion is what you knew him to be.

Although you knew people had dubbed him the ‘opera ghost’ you felt that wasn’t a suitable title for this angelic creature so you called him your very own ‘angel of the night’ which was a nickname you often heard him whispering back to you.

Your angel wasn’t just a teacher to you anymore, he had become a friend. You told him all your hopes, dreams and your darkest fears. You’d talk to him until you heard the faint sound of the birds chirping and saw the first rays of the morning sun rising over the horizon through your window.

He would still sing you to sleep on the nights you struggled, when the past traumas returned in the forms of nightmares, he was always there to help take your fears away.

His voice was like nothing you had ever heard before. He sounded almost like a siren calling out to his awaiting victims and just like one, you felt the pull within your soul every time he called.

Tonight was the opening night, your big debut, but that wasn’t the only reason for your nerves. You knew he’d be there, watching from box 5, hidden within the shadows, but always there.

“Will he be impressed? Will I be everything he hoped for?”

These thoughts plagued your mind as you walked down the corridor, your heels clicking with every step, until you reached your dressing room/living quarters.

You wrapped your hand around the old doorknob and turned it so your door swung open with a creak.

In front of you was your dressing room, your bedroom was through the door at the back of the room, the walls were a beautiful shade of red, almost matching the seats in the theatre stalls out front. There were beautiful paintings in gold frames on the walls of your favourite artwork, a huge mirror that took up one wall, a rail of costumes and props lined another, you had your changing screen next to that and then you also had your beautiful make up vanity, surrounded by candles and all your make up and jewellery that was laid out for you on the counter.

But what caught your attention was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, roses of the darkest red lay across your chair with a hand written piece of paper on top.

You walked over and picked up your present, inhaling their beautiful scent while you read the note.

‘To my beautiful angel’

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face, you knew it was him, he had left you a good luck token in preparation for tonight.

You felt your nerve’s ease, you knew you could do this, as you knew your angel would be watching over you.

•••••

The sounds of a standing ovation, loud cheers and clapping filled your ears as you took your final bow, flowers of all kinds being thrown onto the stage around your feet.

The show had gone without a hitch, your solo performance had been an absolute triumph that brought the audience to their feet. Throughout the production you had tried glancing up at box 5, hoping to see a glimpse of him but of course, nothing. Just the sight of the curtains moving gently when it was take to take the bows, almost like they had been caught in the non existent breeze.

Your vision was blocked completely as the main house curtain fell to the stage, muffling out the sounds of the audience still cheering from the other side.

You felt yourself being embraced by your fellow cast and crew members, all congratulating you on your performance.

“That what incredible!”

“Bravo!”

“Y/N you were sensational!”

You felt your cheeks go warm at all the compliments, the adrenaline still fully pumping through your body as you tried to catch your breath.

You thanked everyone and helped pick up the flowers littered across the stage to take back to your dressing room.

“He was there, I know he was! I wonder if he liked it?”

You felt butterflies start in your stomach at the thought, you would never want to disappoint him, you craved to know how he felt. You couldn’t wait to get back to your room.

You once again gave everyone your thanks and made your leave, half jogging down the corridors behind the theatre.

Once you entered your room, you put down all your flowers, taking note of even more bouquets that had been sent here from different admirers that were now spread around and all the lanterns and candles were burning beautifully, giving the room a beautiful golden glow.

You walked behind your changing screen and started to remove your heavy dress, a costume you were relieved to be out of, finally feeling like you could breathe normally once the corset was gone. You settled for a simple white lace dress that fell to floor. You removed all the pins from your hair and allowed it to cascade down your back. You were about to remove the make up on your face when you heard a knock at your door.

You called out for them to enter and you looked up into your mirror and saw Madame Giry standing there with another body behind her.

“Sorry to disturb you Y/N but there is someone who would like to meet you?”

You turned around and glanced behind and saw a handsome young man standing almost nervously on the spot with his top hat in his hands. He had short dark hair, was an average height and was wearing a formal dinner suit fit for the theatre.

You nodded and Madame Giry stepped aside so he could walk forward.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you”

You smiled politely, stood and offered your hand for him to grasp in his own as he bowed his head gently.

“My name is Henry Edwards. Do excuse my intuition miss, I was just so captivated by your performance that I wanted to give my congratulations in person. I’ve actually seen many performances here at this theatre but tonight was by far the best I have ever seen”

You smiled wider at his words, his face definitely looking more familiar now that he’s mentioned he’d been here before. You’d often seen him admiring your dancing in previous productions.

“Thank you Mr Edwards, you are too kind”

“If I was to be so bold Miss Y/N, I would love to be able to discuss your performance further, perhaps over tea or a stroll around the park?”

You were taken back by his proposal, not used to men being so forward with you or even desiring you at all really.

“Oh erm…yes, I…I think that would be a lovely idea”

You panicked, you knew you weren’t particularly interested in the man in front of you but what harm was there to be courted for an afternoon.

Henry looked very pleased as he fumbled over a thank you, his next words were lost on you as you suddenly felt a presence within the room, the presence of someone who wasn’t happy at all.

You turned your head to the big mirror behind you and watched as a few of the near by candles flickered angrily before going out completely, leaving nothing but whips of smoke behind.

“Mine”

The word was whispered so low and dragged out that it almost sounded like the wind, but you knew better, the realisation sending chills down your spine.

You turned back and caught Madame Giry’s gaze, it was as shocked as your own, she knew.

“Well Mr Edwards, I’m sorry but that will be all for tonight, Miss Y/L/N is extremely tired and needs to rest her voice. Come back in a couple days to arrange this meeting?”

Madame had already started pulling gently on his arm and gesturing for him to leave, he looked baffled at first but soon composed himself.

“Oh erm…yes, yes, of course. Goodnight Miss Y/L/N and I’ll pop by in a few days?”

You nodded with a forced smile as you watched as he slipped his top hat back upon his head and walked out of the room, Madame Giry giving you one last look before shutting the door behind her, the sound echoing through the empty room.

But you knew you were far from alone.

You turned around to face the mirror, staring at your own reflection, the sound of his quiet humming started once more and you felt pulled towards the mirror.

Almost like you were in a trance, you stepped forward, your eyes glued to your own reflection until you noticed another pair of eyes staring back at you from over your shoulder.

You should have been afraid, you should have called out for help, but you didn’t.

Dark almond eyes gazed back into your own, his face becoming more clearer the closer you got. But it wasn’t his whole face you saw. It was covered by half of a white mask, almost like he was trying to hide his true identity.

You stood frozen in place as your angel came fully into view, it was like he’d appeared from the mirror itself, like he truly was a mystical creature from another world.

His song was hypnotising, the melody causing your head to feel so light and airy, like you were floating on a cloud.

You looked up in your dream like state to see him standing in front of you.

You reached your hand out without a thought and was met with a hard, firm chest, your angel was truly here.

Taking in his appearance, he was even more beautiful than you ever could have imagined. He was tall, extremely tall and towered over your small frame and was just as broad in his chest and back. You could see he had shiny, brown hair that was falling down to his neck, it looked so soft that you felt the urge to run your fingers through it.

Your angel was wearing a black suit with a long black cloak over the top and of course the half mask, you had never wanted to remove something so much in your life, his face was absolutely perfect, why would he hide? His eyes appeared darker now he was in front of you, he had the most intense stare that you’d ever seen, it was like he could see into your very soul and read your every thought.

The last thing you took note of was his tattoos that were peaking out over his collar and on his right hand, his other being covered with a black leather glove. It was unusual to see a man around these parts that had tattoos, you’d never seen any before.

He moved around your body slowly, his hands running up through the air next to your arms, not touching but still your skin felt like it had been set alight. As his hands came up near your face, he gestured for you to look ahead.

“Look at your face in the mirror, I am there inside. I am your angel of music”

You inhaled deeply as you took in the sight of him standing directly behind you, his whole presence was consuming you.

His face suddenly looked angry as he whispered his next words.

“Insolent boy. Does your young suitor really think that he can take what’s mine?”

You turned to face him, the thought of your angel being angry with you was too much to bare.

“Angel my soul is weak, forgive me! Yours is the only one that calls me”

He stood staring down into your eyes, like he was trying to find a lie but he would find none. You knew your heart belonged to him, it always had.

“Hide no longer from me”

Your words were hardly audible but you knew he’d heard. No words were given in return, all you could hear the was sounds of his beautiful song again as it’s filled your mind. He walked back around your body and backed himself up towards the mirror, that was when he held out his hand to you, you took it without hesitation.

Your head light as a feather, you followed him willingly, you hardly paid attention to where you were going or how you got there, all that mattered was that you were with him. His siren song never once stopping as you made your way down the dimly lit corridors heading down to the catacombs beneath the city.

The walls were lined with candles, all lit up, the air was damp and cold against your skin.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Your beautiful angel in front of you, he could have been leading you to the pits of hell and you wouldn’t have cared. He kept looking back at you every so often, as if to make sure you hadn’t vanished.

Coming up to the waters edge, you noticed a small boat ready, he stepped into it first and one again extended his hand out, you took it and stepped into the boat after him.

The foggy feeling never left, you felt so free, so light, like nothing could touch you ever again. It was almost like you’d become a spirit of another realm, not of this earth but not quite moved onto the next.

You continued to listen to his voice, just as he always had done, he soothed away any of your fears. You took note of all the burning candles, the way the water lapped up the sides and casted a beautiful rippling reflection up on the walls.

As you rowed further into the catacombs, you saw your destination. This could only be his home.

It was breathtaking, even more candles lit the area and it was living space in the middle of the caves. Artwork, statues and musical instruments of all kinds surrounded you. And roses, dark red roses everywhere.

You closed your eyes as you felt the inner peace of contentment washed over you, you couldn’t describe it any other way, it was like you were in a dream.

The sound of his voice gently stopped as he got out of the boat and you stood to follow, allowing him to place his hands on your waist and lift you easily onto the floor.

You started to turn your head around to take in your surroundings but you felt his fingers grasp your chin gently but firm and pulled your face back to meet his.

You tilted your head and glanced down at his lips, wondering if he would lean down into you.

Gazing up into his face, you really took in his features, he was absolutely perfect. Your eyes wandered to the mask and your hand reached up slowly to push it off of him before you even truly thought of your actions.

Your hand was stopped by his gripping onto your wrist sharply and tightly, his eyes first the first time showing any sort of vulnerability as he shook his head slightly.

“Why do you hide from me angel?”

He brought your hand back down gently and took a deep breath.

“Because I would repulse you, you’d run from me”

You brought your free hand up and held onto his cheek, the pads of your fingers gently caressing his smooth skin.

“I could never, you’re my guide, my guardian…my friend”

His eyes soften at your words, you watched the candles fire reflecting and dancing deep within his irises as you waited for his response.

Your angel stood slightly straighter, he let go of your hand and he reached up until the base of the mask was between his fingertips. He hesitated for a moment before he ducked his head down and slid the mask off, his hair falling back into place as it was removed.

When he looked back up, the sight that greeted you was a shock. The whole right side of his face and into his scalp was burnt and had deep scaring. You would have believed it to be painful but it was clear to see that these were not fresh wounds.

You gasped quietly but you didn’t recoil. Instead you raised your hand and held the right side of his neck gently and leaned up and kissed his jagged skin softly, not missing the low moan it pulled from his throat as you did.

“Those that have seen your face draw back in fear. I do not”

“I do not frighten you little one?”

You shook your head and continued to gently stroke his scars.

“Never. Please tell me angel, do you have a name?”

“Noah”

His name left your lips in a whisper, your eyes half lidded as you looked up at him. It was a beautiful name that was well suited to the man before you.

His hand came up to brush your hair from your face, you couldn’t help but softy sing his own song back to him, not missing how his eyes darken.

“Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams”

Your eyes fell shut, the next feeling was his lips upon yours, gently moving with you.

It was electric, both of his hands came up to cradle your neck, holding close as he pressed his body into yours.

Pulling away, his hands slowly wandered down your body, your breathing was starting to quicken within your chest.

“Trust me?”

You nodded without hesitation, your eyes never leaving his. Noah then picked you up bridal style and carried you over to a huge king size bed that was covered in red sheets and was surrounded by a black lace canopy.

He set you down onto your feet and moved behind you to start undoing the ties on the back of your dress, letting his fingers trace the skin beneath as he did.

“Where does your soul long to be?”

You turned to face him, your dress loose over your shoulders.

“With you, I belong to you, I have always belonged to you”

He lowered his head down to you and once again captured your lips between his own, this time more passionate than before. Noah slipped his hands into the fabric at the top of your dress and continued to slide it off your shoulders as he moved his head down to start ghosting kisses along your collar bone.

You moved your hands into his hair and finally felt how soft it really was, it was like silk moving between your fingers.

You felt your dress starting to fall off of you, fully aware that your top half was completely bare underneath. You felt the material pool around your feet and his hands settled onto your hips as he continued to kiss and gently bite your skin, moving further down.

Your stomach was starting to tighten, the feeling that was washing over you was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

A soft moan escaped your lips as he started to moved his head lower and gently sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, feeling his warm tongue flicking over the harden bud while his hand came up to caress the other, rolling that nipple between his fingers.

You tried to hold back the noises that your body wanted to make, feeling self conscious of how you must have sounded, something Noah seemed to pick up on easily.

“Savour each sensation my little angel, let me hear you, let your darker side give in to me”

You watched as Noah stood tall and removed the cloak from his shoulders and his jacket and carelessly let them fall to the ground, he then moved you back until your legs hit the bed and he guided you down onto the plush mattress and your body sank into the pillows, his body following yours swiftly after.

You felt his hands running up your bare legs up to your underwear, toying with the waistband teasingly before pulling them off slowly, he was clearly savouring every noise or squirm your body was making under his touch.

“You’re mine my little angel, you belong to me”

You nodded, unable to form any words due to the feeling of him ghosting his lips across your inner thighs, spreading your legs apart slowly.

“Say it”

“I’ve always been yours Noah”

The sound of his name felt so right, he had always been there and you had always been his.

Noah used his hands to push your legs further apart, opening you up for him. A low groan came from deep within his chest as he leant down and licked one slow, long strip up your centre, the feeling sending shock waves through your body and your back to arch off the mattress.

You felt his fingers move to your outer lips to part them gently so he could flick his tongue inside, loving tasting you for the first time.

The sensations that were flooding your body was nothing short of pure ecstasy, Noah continued to eat you out slowly and let his thumb move upward so he could start rubbing firm circles against your clit.

“Oh my….Noah, please!”

You didn’t know what you were begging for, your body felt alive, your stomach was twisting beautifully and your hands found themselves running through his hair, pushing him closer into your centre.

The pleasure that you felt was overwhelming, your thighs were starting to shake, tears were forming in the corners of your eyes as you couldn’t stop the cries that left your mouth.

Noah didn’t stop, he moved his fingers faster and continued to devour you until your legs squeezed around his head and the breath was pulled from your lungs as your orgasm washed over you and you felt like you were floating and falling all at the same time.

Once you started to come back down, you saw that Noah had stripped himself of the rest of his clothes and was settling himself down in between your legs. The sight of how many tattoos he truly had was astonishing.

“I’ve waited so long to feel you around me my little dove”

Noah reached down and gripped himself and ran his head along your folds, your wetness gathering onto him, before he slowly pushed his hips forward, the feeling of him stretching you open was almost sinful.

Your head fell back into the pillows and his head fell into your neck as he growled from the feeling of you. Your hands came and found themselves wrapped around his arms as you adjusted to his size.

“You’re perfect…it’s like you were made for me”

Your cheeks became warm at his words, his praise making your core throb with need.

Noah started moving his hips against yours, it was a torturously slow and deep pace that caused you to feel every inch of him against your walls, your body instantly reacting to his movements.

“You feel incredible around me angel, fuck…you’re so fucking perfect. My perfect little angel”

You moaned loudly, his words mixed with his deep thrusts was intoxicating, your heart was swimming with so many emotions, you never wanted this moment to end.

You reached your hand up and placed it onto his scared skin, wanting to show him that he was beautiful in your eyes. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he started to thrust harder, a layer of sweat had now coated both of your bodies and the room echoed with the sounds of your cries and skin slapping onto skin.

“Noah…I..I feel…”

You couldn’t finish your words, you didn’t need to, Noah knew you were near your end. His hips moved faster, the motion pressing your body into the mattress as your nails dug into the skin on his back as your body wound itself up tighter.

“Cum for me, I want to feel you”

Noah’s own hips started to falter as your body was suddenly convulsing underneath his and you screamed out his name, you squeezed your eyes shut as you rode out the waves of your high, feeling Noah’s release deep inside of you as he groaned loudly into your shoulder.

You felt Noah kiss your skin softly as he slipped himself out, the loss leaving you feeling so empty. He brought you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly as if he was frightened you’d leave.

“Stay with me?”

You looked up with a smile and kissed his lips.

“Forever”

Noah smiled back and he pulled the covers over your naked bodies and he started to hum his song once again, the song that you’d known since you were young.

It was beautiful, it was haunting but most of all, it was comforting. You snuggled into his side and allowed your angel of music to sing you into a beautiful, deep sleep.

[ccgg112]

imgonnagetyouback - The MUSE is wearing the lilac short skirt, not Taylor

** DISCLAIMER: this is MY interpretation. If you read the lyrics differently, that's okay too! For clarity, in this analysis, I will refer to the song's narrator as "Taylor" and the love interest as "the muse." **

Once again getting on my soapbox to remind everyone that Taylor isn't the person wearing the lilac short skirt in the imgonnagetyouback. Let's take a look at the lyrics, shall we?

Yeah, lilac short skirt The one that fits me like skin

In this stanza, Taylor describes a lilac short skirt, noting that it is a skirt that fits her snugly. However, she doesn’t explicitly state who is wearing the skirt at this moment. While it’s possible to infer that she might be the one wearing it here (especially since she has worn it before), this isn’t confirmed in the lyrics. All we know for certain is that Taylor has worn the lilac short skirt in the past, and she's currently describing someone wearing it in this moment. We don't know for sure who is wearing the skirt in this scenario.

Let's see if we can get any context clues in the next few lines.

Did your research You knew the price goin' in

From these lines, we know that the muse did some type of research. Why is the muse doing research? What are they trying to do?

Let's keep reading and see if we can figure anything else out.

And I'll tell you one thing, honey I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean Standing at the bar like something's funny, bubbly Once you fix your face, I'm goin' in

Ah, so the muse did research, so they could do something to IMPRESS Taylor. These lines tell us that Taylor recognizes that the muse is doing something to win her back. They made a calculated effort to figure out what Taylor likes and are currently doing something to reignite Taylor's interest.

So what exactly is the muse doing to win Taylor back? Well, the only action previously mentioned is wearing a lilac short skirt, which leads me to believe that this is the action the muse is taking to impress Taylor. Additionally, since the entire verse focuses on the muse’s calculated efforts to win Taylor back (researching, posing at the bar), it’s far more coherent and logical to interpret the lilac skirt as part of the muse's performance to impress Taylor.

If we assume Taylor is wearing the skirt, the lyrics feel a bit more disjointed. It abruptly jumps from Taylor's actions straight to the muse's scheming at the bar without any resolution. It's a super awkward perspective shift.

Structurally, it makes more sense to read the entire verse as the muse deliberately adopting Taylor's style (the lilac short skirt) as part of the muse's efforts to win Taylor back.

TLDR: These stanzas describe how the muse is doing something to impress Taylor and win her back. The only action mentioned beforehand is wearing a lilac short skirt, which makes me think MUSE is wearing skirt, rather than Taylor.

Other Fun Connections!

We can also tie this back in with the lyrics of Down Bad.

Did you take all my old clothes? Just to leave me here naked and alone

Of course, Taylor is using this as a metaphor for the vulnerability she feels after the breakup. However, we can also take a more literal approach, interpreting it as the muse literally taking Taylor's clothes when they broke up. If the muse did, in fact, take Taylor’s clothes, it’s very possible that the lilac short skirt the muse is wearing actually previously belonged to Taylor.

Besides, we know that Taylor has always loved a good bait and switch. In her #ForAFortnightChallenge, Taylor wore this Blogilates skirt that Swifties immediately deemed as the "lilac short skirt".

Except the listing shows that the skirt is actually lavender, not lilac.

✨Every bait and switch was a work of art✨

[daisyvisions]

I Wanna Be Your Dog - (k.yh)

➺ Pairing: Rockstar!Younghoon x Assistant!Reader

➺ Summary: Your job as an assistant to the band is simple: handle their schedule, and do what they ask you to do. But how far are you willing to help one member out with a certain ask if it means keeping your job?

➺ Word Count: 3.8k

➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), fem!reader, unprotected sex, creampies, edging, male masturbation, guided masturbation, handjobs, slight fingering, riding, lots of making out, groping, sexual fantasies, mutual pining (?), younghoon is down bad for reader (sub!younghoon if you squint), marking, mentions of hookups, pet name used (baby)

➺ A/N: Finally, my birthday fic for Younghoon is up! I had planned to write for rockstar younghoon ever since this tiktok edit came out last year. This was not the original story I had in mind but I hated how the outline was going and decided to save it for another member and use this plot instead. Title is inspired from the song of the same name by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts because the lyrics fit so well with one particular scene of the fic (iykyk). Proofread once, enjoy 😉

➺ Network & Tag: @deoboyznet @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez @aimeecarreros (thank you for introducing me to the song 😈)

For as long as you could remember, you've always wanted to work in the music industry. There was something about that chaotic world that you thought was magical. You were so determined to become a part of that universe you didn't care where you would end up.

And that is how you became the assistant to one of the hottest acts to ever grace the stage.

At first, you were way too excited to be involved in the day-to-day of the band's schedule; you didn't even care if you had to run many blocks just to get the specific brand of coffee they wanted.

But soon enough, the rose-colored lenses you had on would crack. Not only did you have to take care of the band's schedule and be at their beck and call, but you were also in charge of cleaning up their mess.

Which is the reason you ended up sitting through a one-hour phone call with the band's manager as he practically yaps your ear off about the band's lead guitarist.

"Do you know how many NDAs I had to sign just so these groupies would keep their mouths shut about Younghoon?" Jacob exclaims.

"I know, I'm the one who prints and mails those documents for you." You sigh heavily.

"The board is getting pissed off. It's getting too much! He has a sex addiction at this point!"

"Well, it's not like we can make him wear a chastity belt or a purity ring to stop him! You know how he gets." You reply, trying to hold in your frustration from how long this call has been going.

"They are in the process of promoting their next album and going on tour. If Younghoon keeps this up and the press finally catches on, it will not be a good look for us all." Jacob takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment.

"I need you to keep him in line," Jacob says to you with a stern voice.

"What?! How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, you're the assistant. It's your job to take care of those guys. Do something about it or you can say goodbye to your job."

Jacob puts the phone down immediately without even waiting for your reply. You throw your phone to the side, your heart racing as you feel the frustration consuming you, and it's not even eight in the morning.

You can't afford to lose your job. Not after you've worked so hard to get where you are already. And you will definitely not lose your job just because Younghoon can't keep it in his goddamn pants.

No, you're going to do something about this no matter what it takes.

As you insert the spare key in the lock of Younghoon's apartment, you're instantly startled as a figure appears before you. Her disheveled appearance already tells you who or rather, why she's in his apartment. Great, another day of running into a groupie.

"Oh, Lin, isn't it?" You try to give her a smile. You introduce yourself as the band's assistant.

"Oh—hi," she responds, but her eyes were looking elsewhere. "Excuse me, I gotta go, late for… an appointment," she mumbles.

"Of course, it was nice meeting you!" You put on that people-pleasing voice. Lin nods in return before stumbling out the door. You make a mental note to track her address and send her an NDA later in the day.

You walk further into Younghoon's apartment, already listing out in your head the mess you have to clean up later as you quickly scan different areas of the living room. You find him still dead asleep in his bed, probably unaware that his latest conquest has left the building as you walk closer to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Younghoon? You awake?" You gently shake his shoulder. As you continue to wake him up, you're caught by surprise as he grabs your arm and pulls you into his embrace.

"Hey baby, up so early?" His deep morning voice rings in your ear as his face buries into your neck.

You try to keep yourself composed as you wriggle yourself free, but your eyes widen at the sudden realization that doing so was a mistake as you feel something hard digging between your ass.

"Younghoon, I—"

"So eager for round two, huh? Don't worry, baby, I'll let you take the lead this time." He kisses a sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder as his hands start drifting near your hips. Before anything escalates, you pull his hands away and reach behind to flick him in the forehead.

"Younghoon, it's me!" You shout, sitting upright once more and shaking off that fluttering feeling growing inside your stomach.

"Ow. What the— oh. Oh hey!" He smiles at you. "Where's—"

"Already left. Witnessed her walk of shame just as I was going in," you smirk. "I brought you breakfast; better see you outside in ten minutes, alright?" You slap his shoulder to wake him up.

"Alright, alright, I'll get up," he groans as he turns to his side.

"Aw, all this for me? You shouldn't have." Younghoon slings his arm over your shoulder as he watches you set all the food on the counter.

"Just sit down and eat. We need to talk about something." You shrug his arm off.

"To talk… What did I do this time?" He sarcastically replies as he sits across from you.

"It's not what you did this time; it's what you keep on doing, Younghoon." You grab his plate and fill it up with the food on the table.

"Look, Jacob called me this morning, and he's not happy with your—" You pause, trying to come up with a proper way to address the problem.

"With my… what?" Younghoon takes a big bite from his plate, his eyes trained on yours as he waits for you to finish.

"Your sex addiction." You decide to get straight to the point. "You fuck nearly every girl that bats her pretty eyelashes at you or even gives you a decent amount of attention."

"Hey, I can't help myself, you know? This is the rockstar's life, after all." He shrugs as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Yeah, well, if you don't get that controlled and continue thinking with your dick, it's not gonna look good for the press," you reply.

"Since when have we cared about what the press thought?" Younghoon asks with slight irritation in his voice.

"Please, Younghoon, I need you to keep it together just until promotions and the tour are over. My job is on the line here." Your voice starts quivering. Younghoon sees your eyebrows scrunching and the tiny tear forming at the corner of your eye.

Oh, how he wishes he could kiss those worries away right now and keep you close to him. Seeing you like this whenever you're frustrated or upset makes his heart ache with a feeling he can't explain. It's probably because he has a soft spot for you, ever since you started working for them. And if he's the reason that you end up losing your job, he doesn't know how he'll be able to sleep at night.

"Please?" Your tiny voice calls him back to reality as your soft hands hold one of his. And how could he ever say no to you?

"Alright," Younghoon sighs out. "I'll do it. But it's not gonna look pretty." You chuckle at his response.

"I promise you can go back to doing whatever after the promotions. Deal?" You gently squeeze his hand for reassurance. Younghoon places his other hand on top of yours and squeezes in return.

"You got it, boss."

Much to your surprise, Younghoon does a fairly good job at keeping his word. At first, it was a bit difficult, but he somehow managed to pull through.

He couldn't forget that one time he was almost about to fuck the girl lying on his bed until he suddenly remembered your face and how upset you would've been if you found out what he was doing. He couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you, so he just came up with a lousy excuse for the groupie to leave and fisted himself later in the night until he was satisfied enough.

And since then, that's what he had been doing to get by. He was either fucking his hand or fleshlight while imagining all the different one-night stands he had in the past. But as the days went by, it was getting harder for him to reach that sweet release. Not even watching porn would get him off the way it did before.

He needed to touch and be touched, a pair of lips kissing him everywhere, and moans of pleasure ringing in his ear… he couldn't wait till the tour was over until he could finally ravish someone and forget their name the next day. Sounds like a shitty way to live but hey, this is the kind of life he chose for himself.

Just two more months, Younghoon, what's the worst that can happen?

Sweat starts to form on Younghoon's forehead as he vigorously pumps his throbbing length. He had been trying to get off for a while now, but it seems nothing has been working. This was the worst case of blue balls he has ever had, and if he doesn't cum any second now, he might go insane.

Younghoon starts to dig deep into his memories of past hookups to see if there was one moment he can use to get himself off. There was one memory that seemed to pop into his mind, but not any of the hookups he had remembered. No, it was a memory of you. The day you came into the apartment to talk to him about his problem.

He recalls the smell of your perfume when he buried his face into your neck, the way your ass rubbed against his morning wood accidentally, and how soft your hands were when you held his hand during breakfast.

His cock throbbed in his hand remembering those small moments, playing an imaginary scenario in his mind wherein you didn't stop his hands from traveling to your hips. How he would've pressed himself into you further and continued kissing your neck. How his hands would’ve groped your breasts tenderly as he whispered filth into your ear and you would’ve moan his name in response.

"So pretty…" he murmurs to himself as he bucks his hips up, thinking how beautiful and kind you've always been to him even if he tends to be an asshole at times.

He moans at the thought of how soft your lips would feel against his own, remembering the time you drunkenly kissed him on the cheek during that one after-party a few days ago. He had to quickly turn away from you to hide his cheeks turning pink.

God, he knows his abstinence from sex has gotten so bad to the point that even the smallest gestures from you are enough to send the blood in his veins right down to his cock. He's never been this hard in his life, and he can't tell anymore if it's because he's blue-balled or because he's thinking about you.

Either way, Younghoon was all up in his head that he didn't even hear his front door being unlocked as you let yourself in.

Your visit to Younghoon's tonight was unplanned. He had forgotten his lucky leather jacket in the studio a week ago, and you took it upon yourself to get it dry-cleaned for him.

As soon as you got the call from the dry cleaners, you thought it would be nice to drop by his place and surprise him with his newly cleaned jacket and bring his favorite food for a late night snack. After all, you wanted to show him how grateful you were for keeping his word.

"Younghoon?" You call out his name. You knew he was home after spotting his keys and wallet on the console table. You try to call his name again but still no response. He must be asleep. I should go check on him, you think to yourself.

Younghoon? He hears your sweet voice ringing in his ear. God, he must be down so bad if he can start hearing you call out his name, as if you're right close by. He can already feel himself closer to the edge as he hears his name once again, pumping himself to the point of no return until his door suddenly swings open.

"Younghoon, I— Oh my god!"

"Shit!"

You both catch each other by surprise.

You tried to look elsewhere, but the image of Younghoon jerking himself off is now burned into your memory, and you don't know what to do. Younghoon, on the other hand, whimpers from the loss of his orgasm.

Had you been delayed by a second or two, he would've released his load onto his stomach, relieving himself of stress. But now, he's on the verge of crying as he feels himself getting incredibly pent up.

"I'm so sorry, I'll just go—" You turn around quickly.

"No, wait!" Younghoon's voice stops you from closing the door. You couldn't help but turn around and face him once more. He looked like he was in pain, his eyes becoming watery as he deeply breathes in and out.

"Help me…" He cries out to you.

"W-what?" Your eyes widen. He can't be serious, right?

"Please! I can't— been trying. I can't do it." A tear falls down his pale cheek.

"Please, it hurts so bad…" He whimpers once again.

"Younghoon, I can't—"

"Please! Just this once. We'll never speak of it again—" He pleads like his life depends on it. And with the way he's looking at you like you're the only one that can help him get out of this sticky situation, how could you say no to him?

"A-alright." Your feet move towards him even before you replied, your body already deciding for you on what you need to do next.

You sit beside him, placing your hand on his thigh as you glance over his hand gripping his cock. You feel your core pulsate at his pink tip peeking out from his fist. But you try your best to completely ignore whatever intrusive thought you have and place your hand on top of his, gently holding it as you look into his eyes.

"Just this once, okay?" You hover above his cock enough for your spit to fall onto the tip and move his hand slowly up and down as you guide him through his orgasm.

This wouldn't be the first time you've seen his cock. The first two times were by pure accident and from afar too. But nothing could've prepared you from seeing his member up close.

The way the veins are protruding from how rock hard he is at the moment, wondering what it must feel like to fill you up to the hilt. You try to think of anything deemed unsexy as you stare at his manhood, but that ends up failing as you start to feel your underwear slowly getting wet by the second.

While you're too caught up in your own thoughts, Younghoon couldn't help but stare at the way you looked at his cock, all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed. It was like you wanted to do more than guide him, like you were ready to devour him any moment from now. As if a dark cloud of lust is slowly taking over you right before his very own eyes. And that was turning him on a lot.

He subconsciously reaches out for you with his free hand, his fingers holding onto the back of your neck as he pulls you in for a kiss. Your lips are even sweeter than he had imagined, making his heart beat so fast from how soft they feel on his own. Younghoon knows this moment won't last forever, so he decides to just enjoy it while it lasts.

You instantly moan from the feeling of his lips on yours, holding his wrist as you lean forward to press yourself against him. You pull his hand away from his cock and replace it with yours instead, the softness of your palm wrapped around his length making him hiss in pleasure. You start to grip him harder, controlling the pace of your hand jerking him off.

Younghoon groans into your mouth as he slips his tongue inside. His hands grabbing onto your hips before pulling you closer to him to straddle his lap. You continue to jerk him off as his hands start caressing the sides of your body.

"Please…" he whines into your mouth.

"Tell me what you need, Younghoon—" You kiss his cheek before moving down to his neck.

"Wanna touch you— fuck— Can I touch you? Please let me touch you." His eyebrows knit in pleasure as your lips suck a particularly sensitive part of his throat.

Too busy with lightly sucking on his skin, you grab one of his hands and guide him to the front button of your pants, signaling him to remove the article of clothing from you for better access. He wastes no time helping you out of your jeans and having you back on his lap.

His fingers slowly sliding beneath your underwear, groaning at the sensation of how wet your folds are. He's honestly amazed at how you're able to get this wet without being touched; it motivates him to slide his fingers between before finally circling around your sensitive bud.

You let out a soft whine as you feel your knees turn into jelly. All you could think about right now is to sink yourself down onto his member and ride him into the sunset. Somehow it was like he could read your mind as you feel his hand pull your underwear to the side and the other pull you by the hip to align your entrance right above his tip.

"This okay?" You look down at him.

"Y-yeah, more than okay." He stutters.

"C'mere." You lean down to kiss him, slowly letting yourself sink down to the base of his cock.

Both of you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding until you finally sat on his lap. The feeling of Younghoon being fully sheathed inside you already has you seeing stars, and you haven't even moved yet. He swallows your moans as he starts bucking his hips up, holding you in a tight embrace as he fucks himself into your tight hole.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He mumbles as he pulls his lips away from yours to get a good look at your face.

The way he looked at you as if you had a halo around you was making the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy. You knew the effect he had on you, especially when he would randomly flirt with you. But for some reason, the effect of his words felt different.

It was like he was confessing something he had locked up inside of him for a long time, making you blush like an idiot. Your eyebrows knit in pleasure as his thrusts start to become faster. Your walls are gripping him like a vice; he knows he's bound to reach his peak anytime soon.

"Let go for me, Younghoon, you can do it." You whisper in his ear.

As soon as you say these words, a sudden burst of warmth blooms inside you. His hips relax onto the mattress as he comes down from his high, but his hands guide your hips up and down his cock, helping you reach your own release.

He must've been so pent up, you think to yourself as you feel him still incredibly hard inside you. The tip of his manhood nudges that sweet spot deep inside you so good you feel yourself nearly falling over the edge.

"K-keep going, baby—" He breathes out. "Use me."

You take control of your own movement and bounce on him like there's no tomorrow. Your fingernails raking the sensitive skin on his chest as you chase your own high. Younghoon can feel himself reaching his own high too the more you keep this pace up.

Everything about this moment was making him absolutely dizzy. Your walls practically choke holding his dick, his first load already dripping out of you and coating his balls, and the way the squelching sounds echo in the room as you use him for your own pleasure?

He will never look at you the same way ever again. You've officially ruined him for anyone else after this.

"Younghoon, I'm gonna—"

"C'mon baby, cum on me. Fuck— make me yours." He mumbles as he feels close to the edge with you.

After a few more bounces, the rope inside you finally snaps, making you cum so hard you feel like you're going to faint. Younghoon's second release follows right after yours, but this time his load is more than the first. You both know for sure that as soon as he pulls out, a waterfall of your mixed juices is bound to rush out of your hole. So you just decide to keep him close longer as you both try to catch your breath.

You lay your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing pattern slowly regulating as he rubs his hand up and down your back. You both bask in the silence a little longer, secretly savoring the moment before you have to part ways.

"Younghoon?" You lift your head to look up at him. He hums in response.

"If— if ever you need help with this at a different time…" You pause for a moment. "I'd be happy to volunteer." You feel your cheeks burn up at the thought of doing this with Younghoon again.

"Yeah? You wanna help me out?" His eyes widen, his heart beating faster again knowing this wouldn't be the last intimate moment with you.

"Yeah, just as long as you sign an NDA about it." You jokingly reply. He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

"Well, get ready to print a lot of those—" He grabs your ass and gives it a good slap, making you yelp in surprise.

"—because you have a lot of catching up to do."

[katebeckets]

TRIED & TRUE: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part Three: All Things

Oh, love, let me see inside your heart. All the cracks and broken parts, the shadows in the light... there's no need to hide.

playlist / songs ↘

FALLING SLOWLY by Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti / It's probably no surprise that this song is on here since it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but I'm putting it here anyway because it's just SO GOOD. It has one of my all-time favorite lyrics—"you have suffered enough and warred with yourself; it's time that you won"—which is so good to think about in the context of your favorite OTP. I know Mulder and Scully would feel that about each other (and, let's be real, we all feel that about them). And even though they fell for each other the minute they met, it was also a reeeeal slow burn.

CRASHING DOWN by Elyse Myers / I'm way too delighted by the juxtaposition of "falling slowly" in love with love coming "crashing down" on them, but it's somehow both things at once so I stand by it. This was an immediate MSR song for me, it just felt so fitting. "The very first time I heard your voice, it was lightning to my soul / You said my name and looked me in the eye / that was all I needed to know about your love / It came crashing down on me" felt perfect for their first meeting, and THEN!!!! Immediately after that: "I didn't know then what I know now, but even if I did, I wouldn't change a single thing / I would do it all again for your love / to feel it crashing over me." My mind immediately went to "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day." And then this part?? "The very first time we disagreed"—cough, the very first meeting—"I was learning about you still / Your head is strong and your heart is fierce / You don't give up, you never will on your love / It still crashes down on me." Anyway this song is MSR and nothing will ever change my mind.

HUNGER by Ross Copperman / First I must shout out one of my favorite x-files tweets because the horniness is definitely a piece of associating "hunger" with MSR (lol) but beyond that... this song! MSR! AH!! The verses especially make me think of them: "one look and I can't catch my breath / two souls into one flesh / when you're not next to me, I'm incomplete" and "oh, love, let me see inside your heart / all the cracks and broken parts / the shadows in the light / there's no need to hide." And then there's the palpable want between them—"I'm on fire like a thousand suns / I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to."

ARMS by Christina Perri / I know this was so overplayed, but again, hear me out—this is soooo them. The lyrics are so beautiful and fit them both so well: "I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown" and "I hope that you see right through my walls / I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling / I'll never let a love get so close / you put your arms around me and I'm home" and "the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved / I never wanna leave you, but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone" and again, "you put your arms around me and I'm home." And just thinking about the way Scully feels safe enough to let Mulder hold her and how Mulder collapse into Scully and lets her hold him even though she's so little! The fact that she can be his home!! AND and and when she says "can you hold me?" I AM SCREAMING!!!!

CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine / This is entirely because of this beautiful video that I watched and could never get out of my head. I will never not think of them and these scenes that fit so beautifully (rain in the pilot, the parallel between them in hotel rooms). Also, even though "touch me like nobody else does" implies sex in the song, I love thinking about how it goes beyond that for Scully and Mulder—they truly touch each other in so many ways that nobody else does, literally and metaphorically.

WONDERFUL UNKNOWN by Ingrid Michaelson / This song is a long time favorite of mine, but I love finding new reasons to cry about it... and MSR certainly did that! I think this can be applied at most stages of their relationship, but it especially makes me think of the unremarkable house. This song speaks to so much of the simplicity of love ("we make bread on Sundays and the little ones are climbing up the walls / nothing last forever but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls") and it just makes me think of MSR living a totally unremarkable life basking in each other's love (which is exactly what happens, right?). Also... "in the best way, you'll be the death of me."

RANGERS by A Fine Frenzy / This is a song that has inexplicably been one of my favorites for a long time (inexplicably because usually I relate more to the lyrics if it's a favorite), so perhaps it was just meant to be on an Emily MSR playlist. This is another song that reminds me of the unremarkable house, especially in I Want to Believe. "They'll keep seeking but they won't find us / Let's keep living our quiet lives, you and I." I'm also going to cheat and say I consider this song to be a bit of a companion to "Come On, Come Out" and "You Picked Me" (from the same album which I think I could argue is itself an MSR album) and perhaps you should listen to those too... but I was trying to keep this a reasonable length lmao. "Come On, Come Out" reminds me of a couple comments in the show (specifically, settling for a life on this planet and looking for life elsewhere) and feels like what Mulder and Scully do for each other throughout the show in both a literal and metaphorical sense. "You Picked Me" is one of my favorite love songs (platonic and romantic) and also very MSR.

TRUE BLUE by boygenius / I must give credit where credit is due: @emmiebea and @scullysconstant each sent this song to me, both about MSR but independently of one another... which I decided is a sign. And it is suuuch an MSR song!! Plus I find it delightful that there's a lyric about being born in July because that's when I was born. But back to the MSR of it all: "and it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" is soooo them and reminds me of the the fourth gif in this set—the idea that they know each other better than anyone else and can decode each other in a way that's just so specific to them. And then it goes on: "I remember who I am when I'm with you / your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue." My constant, my touchstone, my friend, my one in five billion... they are so fully themselves when they're together!!!! I also am forever screaming about Mulder using the phrase "true blue" in "Kitsunegari." I have no idea what to do with that information, but it matters to me.

YOU WILL FIND ME by Alex & Sierra / I liked the idea of putting "I can't hide from you like I hide from myself" before a song called "You Will Find Me." They always find each other when they're missing, whether they're physically missing or searching for some part of themselves. "You leave me room for my imperfections / when I'm a mess and you jump right in / if I drift in the wrong direction / you turn the tide and you calm the wind / anytime, everytime I get lost / you will find me."

TIMELESS by Taylor Swift / Speaking of finding each other... "I believe that we were supposed to find this / so even in a different life / you still would've been mine / we would've been timeless" and "sometimes there's no proof, you just know / you're always gonna be mine." I will never ever get over the "even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day" and "we'd been friends together, in other lifetimes, always" of it all.

SATELLITE CALL by Sara Bareilles / A few weeks ago during an ask game I said this is a song I would want to put on a playlist for both Scully and Mulder, so here we are. It's one of my personal favorite songs and one that means a lot to me and it's a message I would want to give them, but I also think this is a message they would want to give each other. And if you really want to hurt, think about it during an abduction arc or literally just any time they don't know where the other is, even for a minute (because these two are insane and it doesn't even need to be a full-on abduction arc). "This was written for the one to blame / one who believes they are the cause of chaos in everything" and "this is so you'll know the sound of someone who loves you from the ground / tonight you're not alone at all / this is me sending out my satellite call." I have always loved this song because of the imagery—the idea that no matter where you are, how alone you feel, how dark the night, I am here for you, I am sending out my satellite call to you so you know I am here and you are not alone. So take that and add it to Scully and Mulder thinking of each other when they can't physically be together and trying to be the other person's source of strength and comfort aaaand yeah. (I am also going to cheat with this song and say "I Choose You" is another Sara Bareilles song that should be on here and only isn't because I was trying to be reasonable with length, but the reason I chose this song "Satellite Call" is because it feels more unique to them—the idea of a satellite call is just especially fitting for MSR in a way that it might not be for other couples, at least to me, because satellites, little green men, all that. But this is me saying that "I Choose You" is unofficially on this list as well because I love that song and it fits them so well.)

NO BIG DEAL (I LOVE YOU) by dodie / Another @emmiebea choice that I just had to include. There are two very different ways I think of this song, but I think they both make sense for MSR. I paired it with "Satellite Call" because of the wordlessness of both songs. "You hold me like it's already said / I don't mind, I will do this dance for the rest of my life / for as long as you want." Even though it is a big deal (especially for MSR), I feel like this song fits them so well because it also isn't a big deal—their love for one another is so obvious, so matter-of-fact, that in many ways it doesn't feel like it needs to be said. It's just there. So they act like it's already been said and like it's okay. But there's the other side of this song as well (the one that I think is how most people would read it/what it more clearly is about), the part that's acknowledging why it hasn't been said (and that it needs to be explicitly said)—they're acting like it's no big deal because they both know it is. They're afraid and telling themselves it's no big deal, they just love each other. Which is soooo much of their relationship. But I think the paradox adds to the depth of this song—they're kidding themselves that it's no big deal, but it also is no big deal. It's so natural that to make it a big deal feels almost disingenuous, in a way. It's both. I could get caught in this forever because this song lives so beautifully in the grey.

TWO by Sleeping at Last / I will never ever get over this song. It might go on every OTP playlist ever, I don't care, it still fits so well and is so them! "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat" and "No, I don't want to talk about myself / tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'til you're good as new / and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too" and "I just want to love you, love you, love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself" and "like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up."

I WANNA LOVE YOU FOREVER by Kate Vogel / I love the sweet simplicity of this song and the simple desire to love you forever. I think the whole song fits them so well, but there are also specific lyrics that make me think of them, in particular: "my head fits right on your shoulder, my palm fits right in your hand." Because it's true! They fit together so well!!!!

YOU ARE IN LOVE by Taylor Swift / I loved this song to begin with, of course, but I remember the first time I thought about it after seeing Scully and Mulder and feeling like I was going to combust. It's SOOOO them. "You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out—you're in love, true love." And even though I need to remake this, there's a reason I couldn't stop myself from trying! The part that I think about so often, though, is this verse: "one night he wakes / strange look on his face / pauses, then says: you're my best friend / and you knew what it was / he is in love." Because that's what makes me crazy!! They are each other's best friend!!!! They constantly want to be with each other!! They make each other laugh and they love each other so much and I just!! I can't even be normal about this song and explain why I love it for them, I'm just over here crying and becoming more and more incoherent about it!!!! It's fine, I'm fine. I ended on this song because it means the playlist ends with "you're in love, true love. You're in love." And at the end of the day... that's just it. They're in love, true love. [cries forever]

[sserajeans]

just for a moment

hanni pham x fem! reader

synopsis: you and your co-star are tasked to make a song for your web drama's soundtrack. your co-star happens to be a childhood friend whom you've had history with.

genre + others: lsrfm! reader, idol au, childhood friends to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff, second chance ish?

notes: not requested, PLS READ THE LYRICS IT'LL MATTER!!!!, how i look delaying yail update 😂😂, also yes another hsmtmts inspired oneshot, pics from @/wiotas

"what do we even fucking write about?"

"y/n..."

"sorry..."

how did you get here? glad you asked!

it's the year 2025, and a team of producers at hybe are on the works for a minor project: a web drama promoting support for the lgbtq+.

you've talked about how odd it was to your best friend, and groupmate, yunjin.

"probably good for publicity, girl. like 'make everyone know we're not homophobic!' kinda thing." was all she had to say about it, which was likely true anyways.

you were convinced the casting was done at random honestly, but it was obvious they wanted a mix of groups to garner more attention. and that landed you the lead role with, you guessed it, ms. hanni pham!

why you two when you each had members who fit the actress role better? well, that's where you thought the random part came to play.

filming wasn't much of an issue. you were comfortable with hanni, and you two worked well on and off screen, just as expected considering your history. the director even pointed out your "remarkable chemistry", but she didn't have to know why it was that way.

as a matter of fact, you guys were about to wrap up in a few days. it was a wild past couple of weeks, but it was nice to get to spend more time with hanni again.

i mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like you two cut each other off when you moved to korea, but the talking definitely decreased, and the filming made up for lost time!

now, on one of the last days of filming, your respective managers sat you two in a conference room together, and dropped the news that you'd have to compose a new song just for the web drama's soundtrack.

the task in itself didn't bother you at all, and you were sure it didn't bother hanni too. you two were experienced in songwriting and composing, your names on a couple of song credits to count, so this was actually much easier than acting.

the issue was that you had enough going on for certain... feelings to resurface.

you see, the plot of the web drama hit a little too close to home for you. i mean seriously, childhood friends with feelings for each other, but couldn't take things further due to complications, then having to work together acting in some play.

it sounded a lot like your story.

hell, they even had your character do swimming! the same sport you excelled in back in australia.

the only reason nothing has gotten too awkward on that note yet, was because of your other labelmates being there like boynextdoor's leehan, minji and danielle, even your fellow members kazuha and yunjin.

with them around, you got to reconnect with hanni, but with a couple safe boundaries! now that you two were tasked to work on something alone though? you were scared things were going to be different.

so that's what brought you two here, together, in the music room. hanni seated facing the table with a pen and paper, you on the floor with your guitar in hand.

you were strumming to any chord shape that could come to mind in hopes of finding a melody that you could build off of, and hanni was tapping the end of her pencil on her forehead for any word, lyric, or rhyme that could work.

nothing came.

so engrossed in your respective tasks, the two of you didn't notice a shadow behind the translucent door, so when a knock came, you levitated off the floor for a millisecond, and hanni let out a soft yelp.

"hey you two~"

huh yunjin.

"how are my besties doing!" she came in doing a little dance, first walking over to check on what hanni was writing before landing on the floor beside you.

"we're stuck." you muttered, head against the wall behind you.

"oh... i see." yunjin shrugged her eyebrows in confusion, because she had just came from peeking over at hanni's notebook and was 100% sure she had lines written down.

"well, let's see... you got the genre down that suits the two of you so there's that. romance obviously sells, so there's that too. maybe you guys should try... writing while in character?" yunjin did her best to help the two of you, as the mutual best friend and seasoned singer-songwriter. "or if there's an experience you guys have had before, that would definitely help. real raw emotion ya know?"

"anyways," the eldest huffed and got up from the floor, messing up your hair and hanni's before heading for the door to leave the room. "i gotta get going. you two don't come home too late okay?"

you and hanni nodded before resuming. after a couple minutes, you realized that maybe you two will have to be communicating more if it meant writing a song together.

"hey han, do you have anything written?" hanni froze for a second before turning around on her chair.

truth was she did. she wrote them down specifically as yunjin started telling you two to write based on experiences.

"i... uh... kind of? just a couple lines, i don't know how i feel about them though."

"can i take a look? might help a bit."

"oh yeah... sure..."

there was a hint of hesitance in her voice, but it'd look awfully suspicious if she scratched out lines right before you'd check.

"ah..." the initial reaction was surprise for you, and a million thoughts came racing through your head.

"yeah! it's nothing much... but i figured it was better than nothing...."

"no yeah! for sure! i'm kinda getting the vibe, wait here." you turned around and picked up your guitar from the floor and took a seat beside hanni. "uhm... okay let's try... this?"

you freestyled a riff on your guitar, allowing your fingers to move on its own to play what felt right. it resulted in one of the most simple yet enchanting melodies that seemed perfect for your song's intro.

"hey that sounds perfect! i love it!" hanni cheered and gave you a thumbs up. "okay so... since you're doing your little guitar intro, perhaps we have the first line written in your character's point of view?"

"sure... okay... uhm..." it took you a couple seconds to think of something, or to get in character on the spot. but then you remembered yunjin's advice.

an experience you guys have had before.

"uh... how's this..." you fiddled with your hands as hanni nodded along, telling you to go on with your suggestion. after about half a minute, you had a two-liner with some sort of melody that matched your guitar intro. "i fell in love with the only girl who knows what i'm about."

hanni froze for a second, which didn't go unnoticed by you, but continued nodding along as she wrote down the lines. "i like your voice in this genre."

"oh..." you looked up from your guitar and faced her side profile as she was still facing her notebook. you felt your face warm a little, but not too much for it to gain color. "that's a lot coming from you. i have your lee mujin service episode on loop."

hanni smiled, a sight you'd never get tired of seeing. "a fan, huh? which part's your favorite?" she turned to look at you, a smirk on her face to mask the flustered and proud version of herself having received praise for her work from you of all people.

she continued writing a line underneath yours, a sudden burst of inspiration coming over her.

"probably lucky."

of course it's the song about being in love with your best friend.

she chuckled at your answer. hanni wasn't dense, and she knew you weren't either.

okay maybe you were, just slightly, but you pick up on context clues.

but point is, she knew what that implied, and what everything that came between the two of you the past few weeks could've felt like for you.

but just as she was getting somewhere, her train of thought was interrupted by your "burst of epiphany", as one would call it.

"oh hey, hear this out. i think it sounds like chorus material." you tapped her shoulder and positioned your hands across the frets of your guitar. you sounded a lot happier, more energy than you did earlier in the day as you finally got a feel of what to write and play.

when we're underneath the lights, my heart's no longer broken, for a moment, just for a moment

in that moment, hanni's mind rushed with too many emotions. objectively, the melody was beautiful. your voice made it better, the guitar felt like it had a voice of its own, and the lyrics. god, the lyrics.

she knew for sure you felt what she felt.

the two of you stayed in that music room a couple more hours, discovering a new type of comfort in a person the other has always known. like reading a book you've had forever, and feeling a newfound joy in a character that has always been there.

by the end of the day, you and hanni seemed to have switched roles, your guitar in her hands, and her notebook in yours.

you were finishing up a final copy of the first half of the song along with chords in case you'd forget the sound. there was also a copy of the both of you singing on your respective voice note apps. (which, unbeknownst to you, would be on repeat for hanni later that night.)

"here we go." you sighed, it took a lot of effort trying to make handwriting like yours legible. you've always hated it. teachers back in elementary all throughout high school would always mark your papers low despite almost flawless answers, just for your handwriting.

"i've always liked your handwriting..." hanni muttered as she admired your written work, unknowingly smiling to herself.

"oh.. thanks. i've always hated it."

"i know." hanni looked up at you, observing the sheepish smile on your face. she knew all about why you hated it, and she understood, but to her, it was an art. a part of you. she thought, "that's why i like it."

there was partial truth into that. besides it being a funny add-on to hanni's compliment, it's always been her thing to love stuff about you that you hated, even if it was something as small as handwriting.

back when you two were together (or whatever that was you had back in australia before you left, neither of you stuck a label on it), she'd always talk long speeches about how your handwriting was an art. something so significantly you that you shouldn't change, and that even if you hated it, she'd love it twice as much in place of you.

as you two shared a couple more laughs, a notification popped up on both of your phones. yours first, then hanni's a second later.

a snort accidentally escaped your system as you read the texts. "sorry.. is it yunjin?"

hanni let out the loudest laugh before nodding and exchanging phones with you to read what the older sent to the other. it was the same message in different forms, panicking to get you home before chaewon freaked out and took it out on yunjin, then proceeding to fear minji and her "wrath".

despite laughing at your member's worry, the two of you stood up to pack up, which really didn't take much anyways. you slid your guitar in its case, hanni hid her notebook in her bag.

walking out of the room to the lobby together side by side was probably the most stomach-churning activity of the day. and you literally had to write a love song about each other with each other. but there was something in the way it felt when your hands touched.

as you reached the part of the building where you finally had to part ways, the two of you faced each other. both expecting something, but not quite sure with what they were expecting.

"i.. uh... it was nice to reconnect today." she started off, awfully awkward at it too.

"yeah... it was..." you smiled, hand reaching for the back of your neck to scratch. a nervous habit. "i'll let you know if i think of anything tonight."

"yeah, same here." hanni nodded back, though a pinch of disappointment evident on her face. maybe she was expecting more, or maybe it was too soon. "see you tomorrow?"

"yeah... see ya." you slowly turned around, head racing.

should you say something? should you save it for another time? would it make things awkward tomorrow?

screw it. live in the present, right?

"han... for the record, my heart does still stop when i see you."

[turrondeluxe]

I've always been a true believer of medic mikey and I've been thinking a lot of 2012 medic mikey today

so here's a bunch of thoughts about it from my twt if it feels weirdly paced and chopped it's because i just copy and pasted from different posts

Mikey probably started with the want of learning more about medicine after leo ends up in a coma.

Kind of like a brutal awakening that his older brothers are not invincible

until that point he probably helped both donnie and leo with basic first aid, since in 2012, the brothers all seem to know some sort of basic medical knowledge to a certain point (raph carries a first aid with him in half shell heroes meaning they all probably have their own).

Mikey probably sees leo burdened with his father's shadow and the weight of being the leader and letting everyone down, raph so worried about them at all times and so angry at himself for not being able to protect his family better, donnie mostly always stressed out. with no sleep. always having to FIX something and all this probably make mikey realize that putting being a medic on top of any of his brothers would just be for the worst so he decides to take it into himself to specialize in that part.

Mikey would ask help for getting more information to study about medicine and turtle health veterinary from both donnie and april (april would love to help +she can get more physical aid like books from libraries and such while donnie is the one brother who doesn't actually mind what mikey asks him and also actually answers his questions with facts). While studying he most probably would forget a lot about the scientific or actual names for different things so he would just make up his own designations because that way it makes sense to him (his brothers would all learn later on about mikey's own system perhaps because it's just them and it's not like mikey is going to go work at a hospital so it doesn't really affect them much).

Being the group medic just would fit him so well because hes very smart and not squeamish about A LOT of things in comparison to his brothers (throwback to when donnie did said he was actually squeamish in the show) so donnie probably would also encourage him in his studies and even try to help him to retain info with different methods that actually work with Mikey (because of adhd brain) like making references to his favorite show or comics while learning medical info to make it easier for him to focus.

The fact that mikey is the most perceptive of his brothers and also the one to keep a cool head when all of the other ones are losing it, would be factors that help him while being the medic as well.

Mikey being the smallest one and fastest of his brothers so hes probably the only one who could make it to any of them in record time if needed be.

I feel like, since 2012 mikey is the one brother who uses his skateboard the most, he probably would start bringing his skate strapped to his shell everywhere because he can use it as an emergency medical stretcher to move his brothers around in the case he was not able to carry them around physically

maybe even begging leo for a longboard later on because they are bigger which, again, could help him in emergency situations.

Thinking also on how leo probably didn't really talk much about the healing hands technique with his brothers so mikey probably unlocked the healing hands in his own way and in a really high stress situation where the sheer willing force was just wanting to help his family.

Mikey would definitely sing staying alive while giving cpr: muttering the lyrics along in a frenetic way while punching his brother's chest, because of their plastrons, and trying to get him to breath again all while listening his other brothers yells be deafened by the sound of lasers pass by over their heads.

And after being home and safe, he'd give everyone those lollipops right after quickly making sure none of them are dealing with a concussion (he is but hes fine, he promises).

Extra: some replies in twt that i also wanted to share here

[haowrld]

SEVENTEEN AS ARCTIC MONKEYS SONGS

NOTES : seventeen headcanon, music recs

WORD COUNT : 0.9k words

WARNINGS : none!

A/N : i love svt and i love arctic monkeys so uhh also this is just mostly just vibes and me going crazy lol it honestly makes me want to make a fic with these songs

MASTERLIST

seventeen as arctic monkeys playlist (check it out 🗯️)

SEUNGCHEOL

I WANNA BE YOURS : secrets i have held in my heart, are harder to hide than i thought, maybe i just wanna be yours, i wanna be yours, i wanna be yours.

this song is full of yearning, it just fits seungcheol so well since he has such a large presence but it still brings a sense of comfort.

JEONGHAN

BODY PAINT : straight from the cover shoot, still a trace of body paint, on your legs and on your arms and on your face, and i'm keepin' on my costume (keeping on), i'm callin' it a writin' tool, and if you're thinkin' of me, i'm probably thinkin' of you.

very simple instrumentals but the way it flows just really suits jeonghan. lyrics oddly remind me of jeonghan and how smart he usually is on certain occasions.

JOSHUA

CORNERSTONE : and i elongated my lift home, yeah, i let him go the long way round, i smelt your scent on the seatbelt, and kept my shortcuts to myself.

the music has a super sweet and has a nostalgic feeling to it. i honestly think this is such a joshua thing if you read the lyrics, it’s pretty angsty honestly, but the song still has such a beautiful instrumentals that i eat it up …

JUNHUI

SECRET DOOR : and the secret door swings behind us, she's saying nothing, she's just giggling along, even if they were to find us, i wouldn't notice, i'm completely occupied.

there’s something so wen junhui abt this song like it doesn’t make sense. the sudden drums that enter in the music or just the drums in general and the effects behind it with the bass is such a good part of the music

SOONYOUNG

KNEE SOCKS : the late afternoon, the ghost in your room, that you always thought didn't approve, of you knockin' boots, never stopped you lettin' me get hold, of the sweet spot by the scruff of your, knee socks.

again with the banger instrumental and the bridge BRO. the lyrics on the other hand (i actually dk what it’s on abt lol) but they have some of my favorite lyrics

WONWOO

ARABELLA : my days end best when the sunset gets itself behind, that little lady sittin' on the passenger side, it's much less picturesque without her catchin' the light, the horizon tries, but it's just not as kind on the eyes, as arabella, oh, as arabella.

wonwoo is so arabella, like ik it’s about a person but the lyrics just remind me of a person who’s mysterious and shit, and wonwoo is an enigma

JIHOON

PILEDRIVER WALTZ : you look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel, and sat in the back booth by the pamphlets and the literature on how to lose, your waitress was miserable and so was your food, if you're gonna try and walk on water, make sure you wear your comfortable shoes.

calm song and such a vibe as hell, this is honestly so woozi, and the lyrics is pretty silly but they are still pretty good 😋

MINGHAO

DO I WANNA KNOW? : crawlin' back to you, ever thought of callin' when, you've had a few? 'cause I always do, maybe I'm too, busy bein' yours, to fall for somebody new, now i've thought it through, crawlin' back to you.

do i have even anything else to say abt this…? i might make a fic (i wish)

MINGYU

505 : i'm going back to 505, if it's a seven-hour flight or a 45-minute drive, in my imagination, you're waiting lying on your side, with your hands between your thighs.

the beginning part has me on chokehold, THIS is why it’s such a popular song and i think it’s just so kim mingyu bro

SEOKMIN

FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT : you used to get it in your fishnets, now you only get it in your night dress, discarded all the naughty nights for niceness, landed in a very common crisis, everything's in order in a black hole, nothing seems as pretty as the past though, that bloody mary's lacking in tabasco, remember when you used to be a rascal?

although the lyrics are a little CRAZY i pretty much chose the song over the fun beat and vibes for dokyeom hehe

SEUNGKWAN

THERE’D BETTER BE A MIRRORBALL : so if you wanna walk me to the car, you oughta know i'll have a heavy heart, so can we please be absolutely sure, that there's a mirrorball?

it has pretty deep instrumentals plus the vocals are so soft and smooth, and seungkwan totally has the softness around it, im kind of into it LOL

VERNON

R U MINE? : i go crazy 'cause here isn't where i wanna be, and satisfaction feels like a distant memory, and i can't help myself, all i wanna ever say is, "are you mine?"

this just reminds me so much of vernon when he was in his black eye era, lyrics sounds desperate and shit i just think abt black eye with the guitar just going brrr

CHAN

STOP THE WORLD CAUSE I WANNA GET OFF WITH YOU : well, i know that getting you alone isn't easy to do, with the exception of you, i dislike everyone in the room, and i don't wanna lie, but i don't wanna tell you the truth, get the sense that you're on the move, and you'll probably be leaving soon, so i'm telling you

this is my favorite song from them, including fluorescent adolescent, and it sounds like a pretty romantic song and just this is so chan honestly idk how it has such good feel around it

taglist (open) send an ask or fill out the form to be part of the taglist!

©️HAOWRLD

[velarisdusk]

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD PREFACE:

these are NOT meant to be soundalikes. i think our guys would use their own intonations, inflections, and creative decisions for things like cadence and ad-libs in these songs. this is meant to be a showcase of what vibes i think their songs would be. under the cut, i'll have notes on why i chose tracks, certain covers of songs, etc.

All that to say—This Is: Wings of Illyria

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ updated to include 13, 16, 24 (i didn't put them the first time bc i was being a COWARD) as well as 18 :) ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

01 The Great Escape — BOYS LIKE GIRLS the song that started it all.... i've definitely said this way too many times, but i'll say it again. the bridge. 'we won't hear a word.... they.... say / they don't know us anyway.' that is azriel's part. that is where the crowd goes batshit (buh dum tss). i think their songs would be a range of stuff like pop-punk, alt, rock. this one might be a bit different than the rest of the energy of the playlist, but i was not folding on this one, it HAD to be in the playlist.

02 Seven Nation Army — The White Stripes the bass in this is so iconic and i thought az deserved it. thats pretty much the only reason, i can't even lie

03 Take Me Out — Franz Ferdinand i just really love this song LMFAOOOO also i can see rhys KILLING IT on guitar. i ALSO really like the thought of az and cass having fun shouting the backing vocals. OH OH and az and rhys playing their instruments back to back with these shit-eating smirks on their faces mmm yum

04 Somebody Told Me — The Killers this is the first of the "fun" songs i chose for them, i think that'll make more sense when you listen to the rest of the "fun" ones. like i think these are the slightly less serious songs that they'd enjoy performing.

05 Kryptonite — 3 Doors Down i think this is one of the ones i find truer to their usual sound (usual, i say, as if i didnt just make it all up lol)

06 Sex on Fire — Kings of Leon a more mellow one comparatively. the instrumentals are great in this and i see them having fun with it

07 Come As You Are — Nirvana also a bit more mellow, but i think rhys would kill this

08 Aerials — System Of A Down so.. serj tankian has a very unique voice and i love it but obv rhys wouldnt sound like that yknow? i just think the guitar in this song is awesome and i think rhys would have a lot of fun playing this one (also az on harmony yum)

09 The Kill — Thirty Seconds To Mars a classic emo/alt song. this one all around is AMAZING for them. the backing vocals, the belting, the DRUMS. cass would have so much fun on this one

10 Everlong — Foo Fighters starts slow but picks up, i think the instrumentals all around are very them. i see rhys being super passionate on vocals (not to mention how iconic the guitar is HELLOOOO), cass smashing the mf drums, az with the mellow backing vocals

11 Dance, Dance — Fall Out Boy i think if any of these songs are a bit out of the realm of the others, these two fall out boy tracks are it. dont get me wrong, it still fits into the vibe with those "fun" songs i was talking about, it's just one of their less serious songs i think

12 Thnks fr th Mmrs — Fall Out Boy three hot guys singing about casual sex. need i say more?

13 Fashionably Late — Falling in Reverse ANOTHER FUN SONG AHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! listen they would eat this shit up. im noticing a pattern that i find songs that objectify women or talk about them in the most dude way ever to be extremely hot. specifically when i think about rhys, az, and cass performing them. sue me. the only lyric-specific notes i have for this one are these: r: without a doubt, sorry about making out with your friends c: MWAH >:D and also the r: without a doubt, sorry about fucking all your friends a: *hyper feminine voice* what? something just tells me rhys and cass would gang up on him and make him do that one live but over time there are like fan-made compilations of his "what?" and he ends up looking forward to it to hear the crowd go nutso

14 Dear Maria, Count Me In — All Time Low pop punk singer rhys!! i love!! another "fun" song

15 Are You Gonna Be My Girl — Jet yet another "fun" song! ugh idk i just find them singing about a girl to be very hot and sexy

16 Good Girls Bad Guys — Falling in Reverse surprise surprise another fun one >:D but make it sexy >:D

17 You're Gonna Go Far, Kid — The Offspring the guitar.. the aggressive lyrics.... the shouted ad libs (def cass on the 'trust, deceived' at the end of the second verse) and the lower harmony by az

18 Prayer of the Refugee — Rise Against i love love LOVE imagining them going full rock band on stage like head banging and throwing 100% of themselves into it, i just love the chorus of this song and imagining rhys going in on this is so like..... loving sigh

19 Scotty Doesn't Know — Lustra A "FUN" SONG!! ONE OF MY FAV "FUN" SONGS ON THIS LIST!! like i said,, these hot guys singing about a girl.. add in the fact that theyre singing about fucking her>>>>>

20 I Was Made For Lovin' You — YUNGBLUD OKAY. i have a good bit to say about this one bc i realize it's an interesting choice. i had the original by KISS on here at first, but the sound was a bit too classic rock compared to the rest of their stuff. this cover gives a bit more of a modern-alt-rock sound? i want to make known that i HATE the way "can't" in the first "i can't get enough of you baby" is sung, but it's only once. i also love the PICK UP IN TEMPO AAAAA its really good. let me walk you through the thought process. im seeing in concert we've got like.. a dark stage. a spotlight on rhys seated at a piano, singing into the mic. once he sings the first chorus, he stands, the lights come up, az tosses him his guitar, he catches it with one hand, throwing the strap over himself, the guitar spins around him and then rhys starts fuckin GOING AT IT. anyway..... yeah that's why i chose this cover instead of the original

21 You Give Love A Bad Name — Bon Jovi ik i said classic rock wasnt their sound but this one is just so good. i can see them giving this one a slightly more modern feel

22 Savior — Rise Against do me a favor. listen to this with headphones. start the song with just the right earbud in, then at the end of that intro verse, put the left one in so the guitar grows. those isolated vocals would be az. thank u.

23 Situations — Escape the Fate remember how 19 was one of my fav "fun" songs on the list? THIS is my fav one. its just so openly sexual, vey raunchy, they'd be very sexy singing this and the crowd would cream their pants

24 Sexy Drug — Falling in Reverse take one listen to this one and you'll see why i added it on here i think im getting predictable LMFAOOOO

25 The Drug In Me Is You — Falling In Reverse this one's just as simple as great vocals, bitchin guitar, amazing drums

26 Paralyzer — Finger Eleven again, BITCHIN guitar

27 I Hate Everything About You — Three Days Grace the AGGRESSION!!!!! RAAAA!!!!!!! thats it, it's aggressive and they'd be hot playing this song

28 Covet — Basement another slower song, but i love it so i put it. duh. every album has one or two slower songs, this is one of them.

29 Zombie — Bad Wolves i absolutely LOVE this one. it has more of that rock feel for these guys than the original by the cranberries. thats why i chose this cover. i can see them head banging to this one

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

yall were interested so just gonna tag you here!! hope you enjoy :D @anarchiii @chairofchaos @blushingfawnsposts @mellowmusings @acoazlove

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[emichii-the-mc]

Can you believe it? It's now been four years since I started drawing weekly Housamo fan art. I thank you all for sticking around!

But that's not all...

It's FINALLY done! The QnA has finally been completed!

Please continue under the read more to read all the questions that was sent in and my answers, with the occasional comment from Emichii themself.

~*~

It’s been a long time coming, but here’s the QnA that was originally planned to be done back with w200. It took much longer than planned as I had originally planned to make visual replies ala ask blog, but well, for reasons that’s specifically a me thing, I have to cancel the visual part of the QnA. “That’s fine though, you shouldn’t force yourself to make something you don’t like. I’m sure people are just glad to see an answer to their questions, even if only in written form.” I suppose so. Still… “You’re fine, don’t think too much about it! Now, answer those questions.” Alright, just don’t forget you’re involved in some of them. (Also, because of how long this took, there are the occasional update notes here and there as my original comment when I first wrote these became outdated.)

What was the most challenging character for you to draw thus far? / which character(s) did you have the most difficulty with, for doing TASday?

Clearly Mushussu, since my brain at the time (w109) outright couldn’t process how to go about it!

But if we can only go by those that I did draw: Due to how I only use what is readily available on the wiki as references, sometimes certain details are invisible and this can make detail-heavy characters really difficult, especially because I can be unnecessarily picky with accuracy. Some instances of this are Algernon (w135), Nodens (w107) and Enigma (w178). (I feel like there’s some theme here with those.) Smoky God (w185) was also difficult because of this, but it was specifically about the bodyguard because again, the art easily available doesn’t show much. And because it was still really early on, Cthugha (w6) was a wild choice for me to do when I was still rusty at that time!

What other hobbies do you enjoy?

I… honestly struggled to figure out an answer. I’m kinda boring in that sense I suppose, hah! I suppose cooking and baking? But! Only when I’m alone. I can not stand doing it with another person in the kitchen, at least in the beginning. If I’ve started and someone walks in, I just try to not let it bother me.

There are plenty of things I’d like to try, like more crafting activities like sewing and knitting. Just too scared to waste resources. Music too, but there it’s more that I don’t feel like I have any sense of creating a flow, and even less so writing lyrics. I loved playing around with those sample things (anyone remember Musicshake?) for music, but that has been as far as I have gone.

There’s also sports, because while I consider myself to be goddamn lazy and not very fit, I do find sports really fun to play. Like a while back at work, as a “good work” reward, we were all invited to a padel hall and those that wanted could try. I thought it was really fun! Even with the ball sized bruise I got on my deltoid that stuck for like two weeks. One of the bosses even complimented how I played and asked if I was considering continuing, and even though I wouldn’t mind, I am, well, lazy. And a cheapskate.

What other gacha games do you play? 

Not Live a Hero, yet at least. I might consider it once it gets officially translated.

But to actually answer the question, currently the only other gacha I’m actively playing is Cookie Run: Kingdom. I’m on the Dark Cacao server and I’m somehow a Guild master because the previous Guild Master and their second-in-command were inactive.

I have some that I could play, either on the phone or on the PC. Some that I have accounts in include Pokemon Masters EX, Dislyte, AFK Journey and Gyee. I also have Infinity Nikki installed, I just haven’t started playing it yet (and I installed it back when it was officially launched a couple of months ago.

In the end the only gachas I enjoy playing at the time are TAS and CRK. “I’ve seen your MyCookie outfits. They’re all cute.” You’d say that about every single one.

Update note: I’ve started playing Infinity Nikki. Which I think is hilarious with the three different aesthetics they (TAS, CRK & IN) bring.

TASday Art that you're proud of?

There’s several that could fill the criteria of me feeling proud of. I could do a super sappy one and just simply say w200 (or whichever is the newest one at the time of posting this) because with the exception of the computer issue between w120 and w121 I’ve been able to keep this up for 200 weeks and that’s something for someone who still considers themself to have an artist block.

“Isn’t that when you can’t create at all no matter how much you want to? How would doing over 200 of them in a weekly manner be considered an artist block?”

I can draw if I have a deadline, but extremely rarely so without one and I think I might have accidentally conditioned myself even harder to only be able to work with deadlines.

“Ah, that must be rough.” Yeeeah, especially as I do like to imagine pictures to draw, so having them be stuck in my brain no matter how much I try is a nuisance.

“I’m sure some day they’ll come out!” I wouldn’t count on it.

favorite TASday drawing thus far?

It’s difficult to pick just a singular one, especially now that there’s (over) 200 of them to pick from. So I’m gonna cheat and mention a couple of entries that I do like!

Alice (w31) is very cool and has a rather unique look compared to the majority of entries. Kagutsuchi (w124) & Kimun Kamui (w155) have these cozy orange lightings that I like, and even more so Hombre Tigre (w149) that is neatly coloured imo. And Perun (w184) was fun to work on with the lighting that I like.

Like I said, it’s hard to pick just one, and I feel I could talk more about entries I like.

First of all, congrats 🥳🥳!!

Idk if it's already been asked , but :-

→how did you get into Housamo →How do you choose which character to draw

→how much research goes into making your art spoiler free?

→what are looking forward to in 2025 (both Housamo wise and as a person)

→Not a question but more of your MC lore please

Thank you lots for sticking around for so long as well!

How I got into Housamo is a funny story (at least to me it is)! It’s probably not the way many discovered it (then again I don’t know what the usual discovery of this game is). So I’m in this private Discord server for a community from Gaia Online, and we’re pretty small and rarely get new members (probably been like… two years now?). So one day, one of the newer members asked the mods if the Mudae bot could be added to the server. I didn’t really participate at first, but eventually I did and I became a hoarder of waifus and husbandos, even those I didn’t recognize whatsoever! At some point, we started to notice these Housamo characters, and how they were clearly intended for a niche audience. It’s kind of funny to read how oddly opposed we were, myself included, knowing how I would view it once I decided to start playing it. Also the fact we thought it was a furry only game before some of the humans started appearing (and one of us even theorized after the first one that it was a case of “humans having the power to transform”, so funny XD). On September 15th, 2020, I made the first Mudae claim (it was Oz), and either late October or early November I decided to check the game because I might as well aaaaaaand the rest is history as they say. I’ve even contributed several characters from the game whenever the main server opens up suggestions. For some reason, back then, when the bot had a little over 100 Housamo characters, I was somehow the one who got Ryota added. Ryota of all! Crazy.

I’ll hop to the 2025 question. For Housamo, I think the conclusion of Book 2 is one of those things I look forward to the most. The prologue for it was so exciting in of itself, so I really look forward to the rest! I also really look forward to all the translated stuff, so I can reappreciate the stories once more. And just also to see what new stories we’re brought and the characters brought with them for future drawings. As for personal stuff. Currently not much, really. Mainly for mom to come home from her four months long vacation to her home country (by the time I finally post this she probably has though, with how long it has taken me to finish this (edit: yup, she’s been home for quite a while now lmao)). I just really want to hug her and give her kisses, I love my mom. I guess one other thing I look forward to is Art Fight. I hope to personally redeem myself from my first run last year, as even though two attacks isn’t bad, I know I could have done more if I hadn’t been so scared. Just need to… make more refs. I mean, I technically don’t have to, but I really want to.

TASday related questions next! The way I choose has varied. 1-100 I unintentionally created this pattern, where odds were humans (or heavily human looking) and evens were therians. Why I chose a specific character was varied as well, w4-w6 was because of Nightglows initial release (and a at the time obsession with Breke) and Nodens was done to celebrate the translation. A little over 100 entries apart now that I look at it, crazy. But early on it really was just a case of “whoever I felt like”. I often did try and pair up characters that had connections to one another. The earliest case was doing Snow after I did Claude (w13-w14), but even some of the more recent ones like Taishakuten (w189) and Ulaanbaatar (w190) were made as an intentional match up. Kinda fitting into the “how to avoid spoilers” question; the way I choose characters is kind of relevant to that. I try to refrain from characters that are too new, often waiting for their original introduction to be translated. There are of course some that don’t follow that, I remember Itzamna was done before his origin was translated, but I picked him around the time because I chose w50-w54 pretty specifically in relation to hitting one year. Of course, with the 11 I did as requests after w100 some of them were going to break my usual “wait for translation” rule, with both Inaba (w106) and Sphinx (w108) having been released just recently at that time (still waiting for Sphinx’s event to be translated…). Sometimes some characters get done much later than I would have wanted simply because I struggled with the hardest part of TASday: The descriptions. Both Temujin (w174) and Avarga (w181) were much later than I wanted because I just didn’t know how to go about writing their descriptions as there wasn’t much to go on and I try to refrain from just rephrasing their in-game descriptions, but often that is how I end up having to handle those kinds of characters. In trying to make things spoiler free, art wise it’s quite simple in that I just don’t directly reference any event directly. The closest I’ve intentionally tried doing some sort of spoiler was with Mononobe (w65) with the static texture behind him being a nod to his whole thing. And I do the same with the descriptions, just not referencing events that have happened in-game specifically, just trying to be very general with the characters.

Some general Emichii lore and info then! Emichii Hide (not pronounced as the word “hide”, but more like the name Hideki) is 170 tall. While they identify as agendered, they are indifferent to people referring to them with more gendered terms, as long as they’re being respectful about it. “Though I don’t think I’ll ever get used to people seemingly knowing me on our first encounter.” I mean that’s understandable, I’d be confused too if I was in your shoes. I’m still learning to not think too much about Hephaestus calling you ‘mama’. “It was a bit weird in the beginning, but he’s a sweet boy.” Anyways, their voice claim is Soichiro Hoshi, specifically basing on his role as Kazuki from GetBackers. Though when they get more snarky, or whiny, or just when it’s more fitting I suppose, their voice starts to sound more like his role as Goku from the Saiyuki series. Food related lore: Their favourite type of food are soups and stews. Their spice tolerance is above average, like on a scale of 1 to 10, they can go up to 7 without it hurting. Like they’ll sweat at that range, but they’ll still enjoy it. Favourite vegetable is cauliflower and favourite fruit is mandarin. Their favourite candy type is hard candies as they like it when they last a bit but they have a bad habit of crunching on them once they’re close to done (Shiro complains about them doing that every now and then). They prefer sour ones, but they in general enjoy lemon flavour even if it’s a sweet candy. If they have to choose cake or cookie, they’ll choose cake. And in the coffee vs tea debate, they generally prefer coffee. With some milk, like one fourth milk is their preferred rate. Their best school subject is language while their worst is biology. Their favourites are PE and home economics. Their fashion preference when it comes to casual wear consists of layer-on-layer, but they are open to testing other styles. “On my terms!” Yeah, like Emichii can do some of the more skin revealing outfits commonly seen in this particular Tokyo, but they have to be allowed time to get comfortable in the outfit. They do still prefer hiding their skin, so they’d rather do more snug clothes that accentuate rather than outright revealing it. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with their skin, they just aren’t that comfortable being bare outside of situations where bare skin is kind of expected, like the beach. Emichii can come off as a tad oblivious due to their somewhat inconspicuous :) expression. I like to call it their own brand of RDF, not like Krampus’ Resting Demon Face, but more like a Resting Dumb Face. “Hey.” I mean it in an affectionate way. Plus, Emichii’s RDF can turn into a different definition as when things feel a tad more out of control, it becomes a Resting Dread Face. Anyway, you will never know if they are paying attention to the conversations around them or not based on their expression. An easy way to disarm Emichii’s attitude is to refer to them as a troublemaker. They really don’t like that that is their reputation and feel hurt whenever someone goes ‘oh! Emichii the troublemaker!’, it’s like a punch in their gut. Their sleeping habit involves needing something to hold, which is mainly fulfilled by cuddling with Lil’ Salomon. This makes it not at all uncommon for them to have difficulties falling asleep when sharing a room with someone as Lil’ Salomon is often not present those nights. This can of course be remedied with things such as a plushie, which they have received a couple of from people who have discovered this trait of theirs (these people are undecided at this moment). Now for the spicy lore- “That’s enough out of you…!” Haha, no worries. I was just messing with you.

Hello! I'm wondering who Emichii would get along with from all the cast of characters in TAS. Or if you have thoughts/ideas on what their relationship would be like with other characters. Thanks for all the lovely art you've shared over the time. It's been great to see it! <3

Aw, thank you, I appreciate it! While I can’t answer this for all the characters in-game at this time, after all it’s over 250 characters and I’m already way behind on getting this whole thing out, I can answer a handful that I can think of at the moment:

Because of his reliability, Emichii has become used to going to Shiro whenever there’s something they’re confused about. Partially because he often has the answer they’re looking for, and partially because they just like listening to him talk, especially when he starts to excitedly ramble about things accidentally, there’s just something about this that is very calming to them. They’re not blind to whenever Shiro accidentally drops a compliment their way and they honestly wish he’d stop withdrawing them (it initially confused them until they realised why he was doing that). Also, even though Emichii wears a tie with their uniform, they’re a complete and utterly hopeless case when it comes to tying their tie. Shiro has tried to help them by sending several tutorial videos, but they just can’t seem to get it to work. This has led to him just doing it for them every day (initially out of annoyance, but eventually he came to enjoy it), much to their embarrassment. This absolutely fuels the flames of reputation in class if there is more to the two than meets the eye.

Kengo and Emichii very much enable each other’s stupidity, much to Shiro’s dismay. The two have had their fair share of shouting matches, but those that have seen it a couple of times know things never stay sour between the two, because they laugh it off within seconds of ending all yelling and calls their bickering stupid. Kengo is extremely aware of Emichii’s state of mind and is often the first to notice if they’re feeling unwell despite their best attempts to hide it. He doesn’t always instantly confront them about it, but when it comes to it he ain’t scared of giving them the dirty truth. Due to how he goes about it, with a rather blunt approach, it often puts Emichii at a loss of words. It is this bluntness from Kengo that allows them to distance themself from those feelings and start processing so they can get on a road to recovery, something that Emichii is extremely grateful for and has a deep sense of respect towards Kengo for it.

Emichii and Ryota have never argued, ever. The two are extremely wholesome with one another and always bring their best smiles when they’re together, also expect cheerful hugs between the two. Ryota has a knack for making Emichii blush, mainly through his straightforward compliments. He is also the one Emichii, should their emotional state get to a critical point, feel the most comfortable approaching and open up to.

There’s something about Toji, something about his general demeanour, that brings out the teaser in Emichii. Of course they aren’t always teasing him, that’d be ridiculous. They’re very glad to have him be a part of the Summoners, watching him grow more comfortable is something they feel very happy about. Speaking of getting more comfortable; the more comfortable Toji gets around Emichii, he himself starts getting the courage to mess with them. May as well repay their actions, even if his acts are much smaller than those of Emichii.

With Hogen, things are a constant power struggle. Hogen’s unapologetic behaviour brings out a highly animated, reactive side of Emichii. They’re not much for being violent in general, but sometimes, Hogen just needs to be put in place. Their gut punches used to be puny as they held back, but eventually their true potential would be unleashed. They can’t deny the fact that despite his perverted side, there’s a lot they could learn from him and the two do still have a deep respect (and curiosity) towards one another.

Shuichi has a bit of a case to him, as it varies based on the loop. Most times there’s a level of distance between the two as Emichii kinda struggles with getting along with his disposition. But then there are the loops where Shuichi essentially gets a taste of his own medicine. By that I mean they are the one’s obsessing over him the same way he obsesses over Duo, and he isn’t quite certain how to handle that. These are some of Duo’s favourite memories.

There are loops where Sarutahiko is Emichii’s bestie, and even when he’s not he’s one of Emichii’s better friends. They find his enthusiasm about winning them over endearing and they fully encourage him in doing his best. If Emichii says they’re heading to Umamichi, there’s a 8 out of 10 chance it’s to hang out with him specifically.

You know that whole “what you can’t have do you want more” mindset? It���s kinda like that with Tetsuya. They get that he tries to shove them away, but even then they aren’t scared to try approaching him out of curiosity much to his annoyance (and Tsukuyomi’s entertainment). In the loops where they’re an Outlaw themself, the two are very close, Emichii’s heavily respecting him and he basically becomes the equivalent of Shiro.

Shennong and Emichii are very close. Like sure, they may have their moments where they bicker, but there’s not really any animosity behind it as it’s the kind of bickering you see between siblings who love each other. Due to their immunity towards his spiel, and taking his words into mind, and they just like to give hugs, they have no qualms in giving him the hugs they feel he wants. Shennong’s the number one user of the Troublemaker nickname, partially because he grasps how efficient it is to knock them down a notch, but also because he finds their reaction to it cute.

Emichii feels very comfortable around Itzamna. Whenever he expresses affection, they aren’t shy to reciprocate him. They love to listen to his stories, to hear his life experiences, and they are always eager to do things with him. During the colder times of the year, whenever Itzamna wants to head out he gets to see a complete worrywart in Emichii, them constantly checking in on him that he is warm enough. He appreciates it but reassures them he is fine, though he does think it’s cute that he’s the only one who gets to see this side of them.

Nomad often gets the full on stupid behaviour from Emichii, leading him to often have to tell them off a la manzai mode. Despite all this, the two work scarily efficiently together no matter what they’re put up against, be it a large enemy group or a horde of hungry customers. Emichii does think Nomad is genuinely a hella cool person and will respect him and always refer to him as a PI when introducing him to other people. And in return, despite their frequent stupidity, Nomad respects them as the ultimate assistant and odd, yet great friend.

…And that’s where I’ll end (or you’ll be waiting another half a year). If there’s anyone that either you or anyone else that reads this is curious about how Emichii interact with, don’t hesitate about asking.

advice on coming up with "abstract" backgrounds like the ones you do for TASday?

A lot of it honestly comes from having to improvise with stuff from the CSP asset store as I don’t really have a plan like pretty much every single time. DON’T EVER FEEL BAD ABOUT USING ASSETS, PEOPLE MADE THEM FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO USE! After that, experiment like crazy with different effects. Like layer properties such as multiply, add (glow) and whatnot. Duplicate layers with one of them being a gaussian blur. Sharpen to get all static. There’s probably also a bunch of fun auto actions that could grant you some fun results. I’m simply just mentioning things I’ve done.

Just simply try things out, the beauty of doing digital art were if you don’t like the initial outcome you can just ctrl+z it away, so let your mind go brrrr all roulette mode and try it out. Just don’t forget to work on the right layer(s) when you play around haha. If there’s any specific entry whose background you are curious about, don’t hesitate to ask and hopefully I still remember what I did to make it.

fav housamo chara? and Emichii's fav

My personal answer is the same as when I made the statement all the way back with w10; Shennong. He’s just such a good character and I like the relationship he has with the MC (this does extend to Emichii’s relation with him). Emichii on the other hand… “I couldn’t possibly answer that question with a good conscience…!” Yeah I guessed that was going to be your answer. Though I also thought you were going to say Lil’ Salomon, you two are pretty inseparable.  “I can see what you mean.” So would you say him? “...yeah. Yeah, I’d say my little perfect buddy is my favourite.”

~*~

And that’s it! Apologies for the two months delay. None of you all could be more annoyed about this delay than myself. “What is that saying? ‘Better late than never’? Plus look at the bright side: Because of the delay, you got to post it on the anniversary instead! That’s pretty neat in itself.” Yeah I suppose so, haha.

Either way, I hope you all found some level of enjoyment from reading all this. If you’ve thought of any question fitting for this blog, please, I implore you to ask, whether it’s for me or for Emichii.

Happy Easter and a good continuation of the year!

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Seventeen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Okay! Hi!:) Just have to say thank you for all the love you lot keep showing this series, it’s so mad and so very appreciated. Honestly makes me want to carry on writing. But I also wanted to add a quick warning to this update.. There is a lot going on, we finally get what we’ve been waiting for!! But there are other topics that also come into play. SO that being said please read the warnings below.

Warnings: Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse (past tense), as well as sobriety, also a previous death, bit gruesome but needed- this relates back to a conversation held between Matty and Jamie in Part Eight.

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

She never did call.

Matty waited, and then waited some more. He fidgeted the rest of the day, smoked his way through a pack of fags when they’d been down at the studio, and then nursed a single pint after having allowed the guys to bully him into one of the local pubs.

It wasn’t until much later that night that he heard anything from her at all, and it hadn’t been a call, but instead a text.

Messages now Squeaks xx I listened to it 

He’d been cooped up in his office since the second he’d gotten home, looking through a couple of older demos and other sound clips in hopes that he’d find something that would fit with the current sound of their new album. George had been on his case about it all, claiming he’d been too spaced out as of late, so Matty had huffed but ultimately followed through.

Songbooks from years before were piled up high on his desk and on the floor, pages full of chords and scribbled lyrics cluttered the rest of the space, but he continued on, using it to distract him from the torturous wait.

When his phone finally did buzz, Matty had almost decided not to answer it, figuring that it would just be a message from Jamie, or maybe his mum. He was still waiting for that ring. But fuck was he glad that he’d taken a glance. Otherwise he might’ve missed it.

Are you busy?

The next text had come through almost a minute after the first, as though she’d been debating sending it. Matty frowned down at the screen, pushing away from his desk slightly.

She’d heard it.

She’d heard the demo. 

He didn’t quite know how to feel about that, or what to take from her clipped response. It was why he had essentially asked her to call him, because at least then he would’ve been able to somewhat determine what she’d thought about it, how she might’ve felt.

His tongue slid between the row of his front teeth in thought, staring down at the messages he’d received whilst his thumbs hovered over the keyboard looking for something to say.

Can you come over?

His fucking breath got caught in his throat just reading that, his tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Matty didn't even think before he hastily answered her, worried she might take it all back.

Give me ten minutes.

He could do ten minutes. 

Fuck it. He’d fucking speedtail it out of here and try for five if it meant that she’d just let him in again. The last week had been painful enough, no need to fucking prolong it.

So that was what he did, throwing on the first pair of trainers he’d found in the hallway and grabbing at the car keys he’d tossed down on the counter months earlier. Forgetting about the album and the work he’d planned to do, along with whatever else that had seemed so important just a second ago.

She called and he would come running.

…

It was pissing down by the time he made it to her place.

Headlights on and ignition still running, Matty went to make his escape from the driver's seat, practically vibrating with the anticipation of it all. But he did momentarily pause to yank the keys from beneath the wheel before eventually scrabbling his way out of the sidedoor, feet immediately dropping into the murky puddle sat beneath. 

He’d parked like a fucking dickhead, halfway onto the curb and his boot sticking out into the empty street, but he could care less about it as he jogged around the front of the car and up the first few steps to her door.

There was blood rushing in his ears, filling up his head and making him dizzy with it all. He raised a fist to knock, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

He’d gotten there in just under seven minutes. 

His heart was pounding like mad. 

He knocked. 

It was minutes or maybe seconds before he heard a slight scuffle on the other side. Before the hallway light turned on and peered through the painted window pane sat atop the familiar front door. 

The chain fell with a clang and Matty swallowed, watching on as the hinges creaked, revealing her face.

She stared up at him, standing in a pair of pyjamas he remembered seeing on a late night call of theirs, her hair all tied up in one of those pretty buns, soft curls escaping at the sides.

Her lips parted with her next breath, the sound of it jumped out at him and Matty couldn’t really hold back anymore. It had been six months. Six whole months. Almost to the day they’d met... Back when he’d been cocksure and arrogant. When he’d still been reeling from another stint in rehab, and from the stunt before the summer, and from Luke’s death.

Matty paused. 

He hadn’t really thought about Luke so easily. Not ever. Not since that night. Not in passing.

But she was currently staring back at him. Her eyes wide and tired. Shining in the light of the street lamps that crowded the street outside. 

Matty stepped forward, reaching for her. 

“Tell me to stop.” He muttered. 

She didn’t. 

And so his hand found the edge of her jaw, fingers nestling into a place at her hairline, skimming the tip of her ear.

“I can’t.” She answered him. Always so full of truth. 

And Matty, Matty was a selfish man. He’d been a selfish kid, too. A bratty teenager. A hellish son and an even worse boyfriend. Always so egotistical, so bold, so brazen. But even more so, selfish. 

He would take and take. And this moment was no different. He took.

Her mouth met his with an agonising fever, and there was an eager sigh that escaped in the breath shared between them that Matty couldn’t really determine if was his or hers.

She let him in so easily, let his tongue roam. She let him pull her close, let his hand find purchase on her hip and hear her moan. 

It was a whimper of a thing, a sound that was swallowed up by his mouth as he consumed her again. But it fuelled that fire within him, that heat which had been simmering so close to the surface of his skin for weeks, months now. 

“Mouse.” Matty said shakily, walking her backwards, further into the flat, where their feet shuffled over the hardwood floors. The door swung shut behind them and rattled in the silence before he was spinning and pressing her shoulders up against its cold wood. 

“Matty.” She breathed back to him, fingers catching on his neck, then his jaw, winding their way up into his hair. Tugging. 

A grunt escaped him and he pressed harder with it, teeth catching on her teeth, hands moulding into her skin. 

She tasted of something sweet, it coated the length of her tongue and melded well with the cigarette he’d lit on his way over. He wanted to taste more of it, found his nose pressing against the skin of her cheek in an attempt to do so. 

It was a second later that he felt himself rut up against her, accidentally mind, but the zip of his jeans tugged at the band of her bottoms and the movement made him realise he was hard. Had been half-way there from the moment she had texted him, but now, in her hallway, with her grinding up against him, and with those pretty little sounds she let slip, it was almost painful.

“Squeaks.” He managed to force out and she swallowed her own name right up, one arm wrapping around the length of his shoulders whilst the other tugged at the nape of his neck. 

Matty followed her demands effortlessly, a hand slipping under the hem of her shirt to feel at the warm skin hidden beneath, a calloused thumb brushing against the jut of her hip.

He explored, felt the edges of rigid flesh she kept hidden and out of sight, the freckles that lingered and dotted her torso, then wedged his knee between her legs. Hands grabbing at the backs of her thighs. 

One of her knees rode up higher on his side as he shifted even closer, letting her use him like a makeshift ladder to lift herself further up in the little space which stood between him and the door. 

He rutted again and the joint of her knee tightened by his hip, the heel of her foot digging into the back of his leg, forcing him even nearer. He grabbed at the swell of her arse, noting the way she arched into him at the touch. How her stomach tensed. 

It had just been pissing it down outside, he recalled belatedly, but her warmth in that moment seemed to dry up the remaining raindrops caught in his hair and along the shoulders of his coat. His fingertips pressed harder into her thighs at the thought, feeling the bottom of her shirt ride up higher between them upon catching on the zip of his jacket. 

She nipped at his lip, then his jaw, hands all but clawing at his neck and his back.

“Squeaks.” He tried again, brain hazy with want but needing to do this right. He had to do this right. “Squeaks.” Again he said, a plea within a shared breath between them, “Baby, please.”

She retreated all too quickly, letting him go with a sharp inhale. Lids heavy with avidity as she blinked back at him. 

Matty realised then that he’d had her pinned to the door, crowded against the wood and practically having lifted her up off of her feet. He swallowed thickly at the sight and willed his dick to calm the fuck down. But it had been way too fucking long. 

He was unhurried in the way he shifted beneath her before carefully letting her go, unwinding the leg he held at his hip before she slid slowly down his front. Feet hitting the cold wood floors with a soft thud.

He blinked and gone was that selfishness they had just shared, that immediate heat, and suddenly she was all wary, shy almost. Matty reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before he steeled himself and finally took a step back.

“You came.” She murmured after a breath, and had his mind been in better shape he’d have been quicker with his quip.

But yet, he was left drifting in between the heady thrill and the uneventful come down they’d shared. 

He blinked slowly at her. Could see that the hallway light was the only one on, but somewhere, further down the hall, a soft glow from one of her many lamps crept its way past a door. 

“You said you’d call.” He found himself saying in reply, though it wasn’t the reprimand he’d thought it was. 

Her smile was soft then. Fond. 

His breath caught at the sight of her, still laboured from the minute before.

“After.” Squeaks whispered in recall. And Matty heard himself repeat it, “After, you said.”

She took a small step closer to him, the padding of her feet echoed in the narrow walkway. Matty’s hands twitched at his sides.

He saw her throat bob. 

“Tea?” She questioned, and Matty was both thankful and resentful for the quiet offer. 

He nodded, blinking owlishly at her. 

They stood there, not moving, for a long moment. The sound of a car passed, then the scuffle of a person or two outside, as well as the far off yap of a neighbouring dog. And still they just stood there, staring.

She took another step nearer and Matty attempted not to react to the way her fingers caught on the front of his coat, memorising the careful way she started to peel it off of him, turning so that she could claim it and then hang it off some place to the side. He looked at her the whole while, scared to take his eyes off her, in truth.

He licked at his lower lip when he caught her staring too and captured her hand in his when she went to step around him. 

“Tea.” He reminded himself and she smiled, eyes flickering across the length of his face. As though she was seeing him for the first time.

“Tea.”

…

Her kitchen always felt so homely. 

She had spices fixed to a rack on the wall, wound in growing ivy attached to the potted plant that sat on the windowsill beside it. Her fridge was dotted in magnets and polaroids, and a drawing of Teddy’s hung front and centre. The table was always so neat, though still cluttered with the odd crayon and lego piece, a bowl of fruit was perched in the very middle. She had one of those kettle cosy’s too, a knitted one that reminded Matty of days spent at his nana’s house when he was just a boy. 

His favourite part of all of it though, had to be her. 

He stood in the doorway and just watched as she puttered about the space, flashbacks of previous visits coming back to him. She had this easy grace about her, an elegance he always seen but could never quite make out. She was a piece to many puzzles in the way she typically held herself, so ready to fight and so willing to wilt, but in that moment she just was.

And Matty could hardly tear his eyes away from her, from the length of her back to the curve of her waist. The taste, the memory of her still coating his tongue.

He’d kicked off his shoes before he could trail a messy track throughout her home, so his footsteps were quiet when he finally crossed the kitchen tiles. He paused just behind her, his hands falling to her hips whilst his chin dropped to rest on her shoulder.

She allowed it. Picking up the kettle to pour over two mismatched mugs, he simply watched her work.

It was a difficult task not allowing his hands to wander, or to keep his mouth from pressing against the pulse in her neck, but he withheld, content to just hold her. Humming when she picked up the milk and thinking over the last day they’d spent together. That night at his.

They moved over to the table not long after, her kitchen blinds were still open so the moon gifted them all the light they needed. Matty kept close, knocking his knees against hers at the very corner of the table, unwilling to go without.

She was quiet still whilst she danced a finger around the rim of her steaming brew, Matty was mesmerised by the delicate motion.

A hum of hers broke the silence they had since settled in, the softness of it causing him to blink and look up, immediately recognising the faint tune of the demo he’d sent her.

He smiled, his eyes caught on to the one she wore too. Practically conspiratorial.

His legs reached outwards to capture one of her ankles between his feet, her gaze flickered back and forth between both his eyes. He wondered what she saw in them, what she made of him.

“I’m guessing you liked it then.” Matty spoke, voice ever so low, still scared to break their languid solitude.

Mouse dipped her chin in a nod, peering up at him through dark lashes that made him want to catch her by the neck and pull her in again. He knew what she tasted like now, he felt as though it would forever haunt him.

“Thank you,” She whispered after, fingers cupped around the bottom of her mug. His brow furrowed.

“For what?”

She smiled again, blinking at him sweetly, “For my gifts, for always being so lovely, for sending me that song.”

Matty snorted, knowing that the last thing he could possibly be was lovely.

Fingertips touched his chin then and she guided his face back up to meet hers, he hadn’t realised he’d even looked away. But it was then that he was reminded of that night in his own kitchen, crowded between her legs and the counter, her kind eyes. You’re enough.

“Was it for me?” She questioned, watching him closely again. Something she tended to always do. “‘Cause that kiss, it sort of made it feel like it was for me.”

Matty grinned, eyes squinting with the strength of it. 

It was so easy- too easy, even- for her to make him smile like that, and he couldn’t even begin to decide whether he loved or hated the fact that she had the ability. 

“Yeah, Squeaks. It was for you.”

Her cheeks dimpled in an attempt to dim the smile she then wore, elbows pressing against the table’s edge, her foot resting on top of his own. “Good.” She murmured, leaning in closer now.

“Good?” He chuckled, following the motion. Eyes caught on the curve of her mouth.

“Uhuh,” She breathed into the small space between them, nose brushing against the side of Matty’s own. “Really good.”

He laughed again, low and breathy this time around, before he finally closed the distance and kissed her for a second time.

She laughed too, smiling against his lips.

–

For an insomniac, the dark was a place full of many contradictions.

Matty had spent countless hours staring up at all types of ceilings, in all sorts of places, and in all kinds of countries. But hers, he reckoned, was possibly his favourite. As most things had come to be in the short time he’d spent with Mouse.

Because even as she slept on beside him, bundled in the duvet and a blanket that smelt of her, he didn’t stress over the fact that he was still wide awake. 

His mind was too preoccupied to stress. Just thinking back to the expression she’d worn when she’d first opened the front door. To the breathy gasps that had escaped her in the hallway. The way she’d gently carded her fingers through his hair after she’d lured him into bed. Promising to talk more tomorrow.

He thought of Luke then, as well. As he often did whenever the darkness plagued him.

The fucker would be laughing if he could just see him now, obsessing and all soppy over some bird. Smiling away to himself in the dark.

But Matty knew that he’d be happy too. Glad that he was finally getting back on the right track. Actually trying this time around. Because Luke had known the hardships of addiction just as well as Matty had- it was what had killed him in the end, wasn't it.

He could still picture his face, both before and after the fall. One second they’d all been grinning on that roof, high as kites and drunk out of their minds, having the time of their lives, and then his had hit the concrete.

Matty’s stomach rolled at the thought.

At the eerie silence that had followed.

He’d been struggling that night, trying to get clean, to stay clean. And they’d only gone to the party, Luke and Danny, to appease him. Luke, having tagged along wanting to look out for him, to make sure that he didn’t get too caught up in anything he couldn’t get himself out of.

Luke had been sober three months at that point. Clean of the drugs and the drink. All of it. He’d drank that night though, the party had been at one of his dodgier mates places and he wouldn’t have been able to have stayed in the clear.

Matty remembered egging him on, telling him to live a little. To have a beer. A shot. And then another. And another. Someone else had offered him that line though.

He’d been hammered by the time some idiot had come up with that dare and they’d all thought it had been a sick idea to try and walk the length of the roof. Like they were at Zippo’s sodding circus.

Luke had been doing so good. Matty had known it too. What with his first EP coming out that September, something which Jamie had made happen, and his new flat that he’d not long moved into. Away from the familiarity of street corners he knew far too well and faces of dealers that he’d seen time and time again before.

He’d been good. Been going steady.

Then he was just dead.

Matty didn’t close his eyes then, even as they began to water. Didn’t want to see him like that. Knew that he would if only he shut his eyes. Because he couldn't stand to see the reminder, the life that had left him too quickly.

A slight sniff broke him from his thoughts then and he stilled as Mouse moved and turned in her sleep.

He let himself breathe a little easier once she’d settled again, tucking her face into the crook of his shoulder and nestling further into his side. He wrapped an arm around her, needing her close, and then finally allowed his eyes to fall shut, burying his face in the top of her hair.

He wondered if she’d let him stay from now on and pressed a long kiss to her forehead.

He hoped that she would, listening to the quiet that hummed throughout the rest of her flat as his mind began to let go of what consciousness it had once clung on to.

‘Tomorrow’ was his final thought before he eventually drifted off. It had been a long time since he’d thought that he’d ever make it to a tomorrow.

–

It was a grunt I woke up to. The heavy and unfavoured kind, the type that was only ever forced out of you when you received a hefty blow to the stomach.

I felt my face wrinkle as I pressed in closer to the warmth beside me, unhappy to have been woken. But then I heard a whisper, followed by a giggle, which had me blinking blearily and peering up at the toddler now towering over me.

“Wake now?”

“Teddy.” I heard someone else laugh right above my head, and I was quick in the way I looked up, recognising that the warmth I’d been clinging to had been Matty all along. “You’re an actual monster, you know that?”

Teddy squealed happily when Matty tickled his sides, but seemed content with his place on the man’s stomach and the fact that Matty was here at all. 

I wanted to groan at the very idea, I hadn't much thought this through. Not when I’d heard the song, thinking back to the night I’d spent at his, the fight we’d had, the way he’d held Teddy and promised him that things would soon be alright.

It hadn’t felt real. It still didn’t.

“Wake?” Teddy said to me again and I had to give a soft laugh when I felt his finger prod at my cheek, which was probably marked with the line of Matty’s t-shirt now. “Yeah?”

I chuckled again, peering up at him. “Yeah, I’m awake.” I replied, smiling before I rubbed at my eyes.

Matty’s arm seemed to be tucked up under me because it twitched a tad when I moved. I grimaced at the loss of feeling he must have experienced and murmured a quiet “Sorry,” shuffling over slightly so that I could free the limb. But he merely laughed to himself before his hand came up to rub at my arm, keeping me close. 

“It’s fine.” Matty replied, his voice tinged with sleep and grainy from lack of use, but then he winced and flexed his fingers, “Oh.”

I snorted softly and glanced up at him, “Pins and needles?”

His nose wrinkled further, as did his lips when he tilted his head back and tried to shake loose the feeling from his wrist. I let him have his arm back, turning over onto my stomach to simply watch him, drinking in the sight of him whilst I still could.

“Yeah.” He hissed out and Teddy, who was watching too, started to shake his arm alongside Matty.

Matty only noticed the mimicking movement when he felt the toddler shift on his torso and opened his eyes up only to laugh at the way that Teddy was now copying him.

“Oi,” He admonished, using his other hand to playfully pinch at the boy’s side, “What you think you’re doin’?”

Teddy giggled, hair a mess from having just woken but grinning all the while. “Dancin’! Like you!”

I shook my head and bit back my sudden amusement before dropping it down into my hands when I couldn’t quite manage to hide my growing smile.

“Oh, we’re dancing are we?” I heard Matty say, and could feel the grin he probably wore. Then Teddy was laughing again and squirming beside me once more, sounding so happy, before the bed tilted more so to one side and a soft thud was heard. “Oi, where you off to!” Matty asked him whilst Teddy’s giggles still echoed around the space.

“Tele!” Was the only response he got and I listened to the way Teddy’s feet hurried out of the room, having escaped Matty’s merciless tickles.

There was a quiet for a moment before I felt a hand come to cradle my head and fingers card their way through my hair.

I leaned into the touch, savouring it. I didn’t think anyone had ever touched me with such a softness before, like I was something to be treasured, to be held and kept close.

It was a long while before I finally raised my head again, blinking at the sweet sight I was met with. I smiled at the mess his curls were in and the way his eyes squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi.” I whispered and his fingers stilled in my hair when he looked back at me. 

Matty didn’t say a thing though, merely shuffled further down the bed, the duvet being kicked somewhere to the bottom before he finally settled in beside me, both our heads now resting on a single pillow.

His fingertips skirted along the edge of my jaw and trailed across the bottom of my lip before his thumb reached out to catch it too, pinching the flesh ever so slightly.

“You snore.” Matty said to me then and my mouth dropped open slightly in offence.

“I do not.”

He snorted to himself, grin widening, “You do.”

I shoved him but his hands were quick to grab at my arms, wrapping them up and moving to press them against his chest. “It’s cool though, they’re cute snores.”

“How the fuck can they be cute, Matty?”

He rolled his eyes at the ask, still grinning away. “Like, just soft and stuff. Don’t stress, I’ve roomed with George and he’s got the lungs of a whale or summat. I could probably sleep next to a fog horn and feel at home.”

A bright laugh escaped me at that, before I was shaking my head gently and looking back at his sleepy smile. “That makes me feel so much better.”

Matty smacked his lips around another grin, shrugging the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress. He reached out then, brushing a loose strand from out of my face and let his thumb linger on a freckle.

“Your breath stinks as well.”

I bit into my bottom lip at that, narrowing my eyes at him. “Well yours is no better! And besides, you didn’t seem to mind it much last night.”

I went to turn over then but he was hasty in his movements to grab at me, tugging me back towards him, closer this time. I laughed joyfully, “Hey!”

“Hi.” Matty grinned smugly once we'd settled, his hand falling to the small of my back.

I was gripping one of his shoulders now whilst my other arm laid in the little space between us. “I said that already.” I told him, feeling each soft exhale that escaped him. 

He hummed, thumb rubbing circles into my skin. “I missed you, you know.”

My brow furrowed, “You slept right beside me, you muppet.”

He pinched my hip in retaliation and so I chuckled. “You know what I meant.”

I did know.

“Missed you, too.” I murmured, letting my fingertips trail up over the side of his neck, liking the feel of his barely there stubble. “But-”

He stopped me then, nudging my cheek with the tip of his nose, “I know. Later, yeah?”

My eyes fell closed and I hummed in agreement, later was fine. We could talk later.

His hand pressed against the curve of my back, forcing me even closer, and so my fingers worked themselves into his hair. I exhaled softly and tilted my head forward just a touch. He closed the distance between us in a single heartbeat.

Kissing Matty was different, everything about it just felt right in a way that no other kisses ever quite had. Things appeared to click. Fall into place around me. 

But don't get me wrong, it was painful too, because there was that ache in my chest again, the hole that hollowed out my unforgiving heart. I wanted him but at the same time, I was too terrified to reach out and touch.

Our lips brushed, once, twice, then a third time, hesitant and careful, before something shifted and I was taken back to the previous night. To the way his fingers had dug deep into my thighs, to the front door pressing against my spine, to the way he’d held me so weightlessly.

Talking could wait til later, I reminded myself.

Now, all I wanted was for Matty to consume me and I immediately gasped at the cold hand that dragged its way up my side to tease me, thumb brushing against the nipple that hardened beneath it. 

I wouldn’t let him have all the fun though, so without a second thought I rolled him over and settled on his hips. He was surprised by the change but adapted seamlessly, rutting up off the mattress to meet me, one hand still toying with me, taunting, whilst the other cupped the back of my head.

It was back and forth for a short while, mouth chasing mouth, chests heaving with the force of it.

But then, a bang hollowed out the flat.

I jumped at the sudden noise and shot my head over towards the door, listening in closer.

“Okay?” I called out, noting the breathless quality my voice now had. I waited and didn’t move even when Matty’s hands came to just sit on my waist. 

“‘Kay!” I heard Teddy shout back and I released a semi-amused huff before turning back to face the man beneath me, “Sorry.”

And I was. I really was, especially when I forced myself to drop back down onto the bed sheets next to him.

Matty simply chuckled and I glanced over at him, smiling slightly when he reached out to swipe a gentle thumb over the scar on my jaw. “You’re good." I wondered if he was just saying that, but then, "What do you think he’s actually done though? Sounded like the bike to me.”

I sighed at the very thought. The bike had been one of my mum’s many Christmas gifts to Teddy, one which I hardly had any room for in the flat. I silently hoped that it wasn't the bike, but was caught on the way Matty had so easily adapted, moving on without complaint.

Was that normal?

Matty’s hand coaxed me back into looking at him again and I softened when I saw the smile he wore. “Later,” He reminded me, knocking a knuckle against my chin before he withdrew completely, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “How about a fry up then? There's that bakery by the studio or the cafe up near mine, choice is yours but it’s on me.”

“Matty.” I huffed, not a whine but near enough, extending an arm out in hopes that it would call him back to bed.

He smirked, glancing at me from over his shoulder once he'd stood. He dragged a hand through his hair. “Come on, got a growing boy to feed- Teddy too, I 'spose.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help my grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“So you’ve said.” He quipped and I could hear how his laughter filled the flat even as he headed for the bathroom, “Teds get ready, mate! We're getting bacon!”

I fell back onto the mattress with a smile, staring up at the ceiling above me with a little bit of hope.

[treble-maker1212]

How going through the worst years of his life made Andy Biersack A better writer: an in depth analysis on the evolution of Andy Biersack's lyrics.

Andy Biersack has always been a gifted lyricist. There is no denying that. It is baffling reading through the lyrics of songs like Sweet Blasphemy and Knives and Pens and knowing that they were written by a teenager. The lyrics of Carolyn are some I always point to when discussing his emotional depths that he has had even at a young age. A touching love letter about perseverance and staying strong to the mother of his band mate, Jake, who had confided in him about her struggles with depression. Andy has been able to touch people with his words from day one.

That takes us to Set The World on Fire. The Bands Junior album that had to surpass the first in every way(and did). This album is interesting to me because it is when we finally start to see the outside influences creeping in. We got heartfelt songs like Savior, a song musically written about the suicide of a close friend of Jinxx's and Andy was able to sit down and create the lyrics in 20 minutes. Religion has and will always be a heavy topic in Andy's writing, whether it's in the imagery or a blatant discussion on the corruption of the church like in the song New Religion where Andy says the line “You don't love a God, you love your comfort” in a rage-filled tone.

This album feels like a BVB record, of course it does, but then you have Love isn't Always Fair. A song that Andy admitted to only writing because he was pressured into writing a “sexy strip club song”. Andy wrote from the heart, he wrote of paint, triumph and showing people. Why the hell would he write about blow jobs and tits? It made no sense. Though I do love the song, it doesn't fit the band at all and is why we haven't seen a track like that from them since. You see that in tracks like Youth and Whisky as well.

This was also when we see bad habits forming. Andy was a young, impressionable kid who wanted to make it and a well respected producer is telling him he needs to drink before recording vocals. This was not the start of Andy's spiral as he had already started drinking to help himself be more social at parties before this. It was the beginning of the dependency though.

Andy was impressionable. Of course he was. He was young. This was when he started letting other people influence his art.

You see it in the imagery as well. Everyone in the band(except you know who) hated the Fallen Angels music video. It made no sense, it took an allegory and made it literal. They didn't understand the song and ignored Andy's input.

Even as a young fan who had barely gotten into the band, I could see that this video didn't fit the rest. Andy was 19/20 and being brushed off and ignored because he was young- Now obviously, this stuff isn't about his writing, but I promise, I'm getting to it, I'm setting the stage so to speak. To understand the changes, you need to know the reasons.

Now we find ourselves at the band's sophomore record. A highly anticipated album that had a huge album in their career to try and surpass once again. Wretched and Divine was the album where Andy started pushing more for his ideas which in turn, made certain people very unhappy. You see this in the Coffin music video. His hair is now shorter, his makeup is more minimal. Andy was tired of the glam rock and the poor caricature of what he had originally set out to create. This will be the first, but not the last time that we see Andy choose to burn it to the ground rather than fight to come to a compromise with someone who refuses to change.

So burn it down, he did.

Andy fired their old producer and scrapped everything they had worked on to work with someone else. He didn't want STWOF part 2. He wasn't about to become a self fulfilling prophecy. He needed to create. Andy, at 21 years old, wrote the storyline of what would become their most successful album while on a flight in his iPhone notes app. This was the moment Andy discovered his true talent in writing.

World building.

This album was exactly what the band needed. It was a brilliant Rock opera with orchestral pieces and an entire movie to go along with it. Black Veil didn't ask or beg for it to be made, they made it happen. We see Andy's writing broaden in this record and get their biggest song to date, In The End. A loving tribute to Andy's late grandfather that they play live to this day. This was when Andy finally started learning to collaborate and write with other people. He still made his voice clear without allowing it to be compromised.

This was, however, when we see his drinking take a turn. If you watch clips from the recording process of Done For You, Andy is bent over, barely holding himself up due to how drunk he was.

With every high must come a devastating low and that brings us to BVB 4

While self-titled is one of my favorite records from the band, this is the moment we really see what Andy calls the BVB mad libs. Andy was no longer writing from the heart, he was writing what he thought sounded like something he would say. While there are several tracks that are lyrically sound, I can see what he means. Andy had to drink a bottle or two of red wine every time he sat down to write. Andy has said that he is embarrassed by the lyrics on some of the songs from this record, admitting that he didn't even recall writing them due to how drunk he stayed. Andy has "jokingly" said that he doesn't remember most of 2014 and could you imagine that? He doesn't remember most of 23. I turned 24 a few months ago and I couldn't imagine losing a chunk of my life due to addiction.

But the main focus is; the thing he was most passionate about, he couldn't even stay sober long enough to do.

What was once an escape from the world and an outlet was now a chore. He no longer felt excited to create within the realm of BVB because he no longer had the freedom to do so. He was drinking heavily during the recording process and also going through undiagnosed health problems that nearly killed Andy. During Warped 2015, Andy stayed on his partner, Juliet's(now Lilith Czar professionally) bus to avoid his own. Andy was now at his all time low at this point in his life. He was drinking heavily to get through the days, his close friend passed away very suddenly, he was getting into fights regularly, he was on medication that was making him lose his mind, and now his own band was a waking nightmare to be in.

He had to get out.

Andy Black was announced under the guise of being a creative outlet so Andy could dabble in different sounds and genres without affecting the band. While there was some truth to that, it wasn't entirely true. Andy needed a way to continue making a living that wasn't going to affect him mentally.

This was when we finally saw a side of Andy that we hadn't seen in his past work.

Vulnerability.

If Black Veil Brides was about overcoming and being yourself through the face of adversity through world building and storytelling. Andy Black was an open diary. For the first time, we got to hear how Andy was feeling in a completely raw and unfiltered way. We learned of his fears, his struggles with mental health, his addiction(and two subsequent relapses in 2016) and his relationships. No longer were there veiled messages of his personal life through poetic Interpretations. It was just him.

A lot of people say that Vale sounds like an Andy Black record With more guitars, and I agree, but not in the way you think. Sonically, it is very much BVB, but now? Andy is being honest.

He is no longer hiding how he feels or what's going on. Through songs like When They Call My Name: a song about his severe struggles with anxiety and OCD and the devastating crash of everything he had been numbing with alcohol after sobriety and how his now wife helped him through it. We see angry songs filled with vitriol that can only be about one person truly. Tensions were high within the band because Andy wasn't staying silent in his songs anymore. This person didn't even work on the album, why would it matter to him?

Vale(This is Where it Ends) caused panic within the Fandom because Andy didn't hold back. “I can't put it back together. No, I won't put it back together. This is where it ends.” Andy took a stand. He was no longer going to be made miserable, he was no longer going to keep the piece. If it broke then he was going to add the gasoline and the matches to finish the job.

Andy had said by the time the last tour with BVB came along, he was fine around alcohol and wasn't tempted, but then they're on tour and Andy is talking about staying on a separate bus that is dry because he “didn't want to ask the band to not drink"(a request they were happy to oblige to during their 2021 tour cycle mind you)

We hear the band talk about going to bars, about CC's collection of White Claw. Hell, there is even a selfie of Andy and Lilith on the bus in 2022 with a bottle of alcohol on the table. Andy wasn't bothered by alcohol, but when he had to be on the Resurrection tour? He feared relapse. After two years of being sober and speaking of how he didn't even think of drinking anymore, he had to stay on a completely different bus and not allow drinking or smoking on it to fight the temptation.

Andy left that tour with the resolve that he was having to start over. He wrote The Ghost of Ohio, and album filled with obvious hints of his struggles during that time, including the very heartbreaking Westwood Road(if you haven't read the lyrics to that Song, it is not as fun as the music Makes you think) the Martyr, a fuck you to a lot of people and Know One. If you were a fan during this time, you know that essentially everyone blamed Andy for the band not touring. He was hated by everyone and couldn't defend himself because of an NDA contract that no one in the fandom was aware of.

This was a critical moment in time. Andy was so miserable within the setting of BVB, that he heared ruining his sobriety if he was subjected to it much longer.

“I can't change the way they look at me, I won't show you what you'll never see”

Andy understood that he was going to be the villain in this story, but he was going to make peace with it. This album shows how Andy has truly come to understand his voice and how his words and lyrics affect things. He learned that even if people hated him for what they perceived him to do to the band, he could still find an audience within Andy Black.

2019 comes to a close and DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.

Lonny is now in the band and this was when we see Andy truly come into his own as a lyricist for BVB. He no longer feared writing how he felt(with songs like the Vengeance being a clear fuck you), he no longer hid behind allegories and fables, hoping people will understand what he's getting at; but he's no longer laying it out on the table completely raw and vulnerable. Andy found a middle ground, writing one of the best albums they have ever put out(The Phantom Tomorrow) and then putting out one of the most emotionally raw EPs I've ever listened to(The Mourning.)

Better Angels and Savior ii is an incredible example of how Andy has developed as a writer. They are completely raw songs that tell you exactly how much he has struggled in the past few years. Devil is a fuck you to Trash man and the Revival was a simple question of how the fuck do we get ourselves out of this?

The answer was simple. Lonny Eagleton( @ethan-elliott is writing an essay on that so follow him for whenever he posts it).

In short. Andy has always been a gifted storyteller and could touch people with his art, but it took a long road of pain, suffering, and growing up to come into his own as an artist. I don't believe that you have to go through a lot to come into your own, but it certainly helps.

Now we have some of the best music They've ever put out, exciting, conceptual art for a new era, a documentary, and a book series. Andy proves that it doesn't matter where you came from or what you've been through, it all comes down to how you are going to channel that pain. Will you choose the path of self destruction or creation? Only you can make that choice for yourself.

[cringearenachamp]

For the Love of Genderfuckery: FTLOSM, The Stage Show, and Camp

It's giving "Steve Perry"

The early 90s seemed to be a particularly creative and open time in Steve's life. He'd kicked coke and booze, grew his hair out down to his ass (also shaved the sides... I'm like is this a mullet or an undercut. either way it's fun and funky!), and didn't seem nearly as afraid of being a little queeny with it just in general. The Reagan years were over, the Clinton era had just begun, and there was an uneasy coexistence between a reactive/paranoid hypermasculinity (especially in mainstream straight guy culture) and an increasing recognition of gay people. Celebrities and musicians were beginning to publicly come out, and certain kinds of openly gay music were even mainstream to a degree (Melissa Etheridge and KD Lang, for example). This, too, was uneasy, and there were still many professionally closeted queer people in music/literature/celebrity circles (ex: Michael Stipe, Donna Tartt, Paul Reubens, Tracy Chapman, etc): people who may have been open with themselves and their immediate social circles, but didn't feel the need to "come out" to the general public.

With this context, it was as good a time as any for Steve to explore himself more and have fun without having to worry about homophobes breathing down his neck. For the Love of Strange Medicine, as I talked about earlier, displayed a willingness to experiment thematically and sonically, and some of the promotional material for it had Steve talking about getting "honest with himself", accepting what he is as opposed to "what [he] should be", etc. Those things were definitely about getting a healthier relationship with alcohol, but also likely about having a healthier relationship to his own self, his gender expression, and his sexuality: things that had become extremely difficult, stressful, and even dangerous to address while in Journey.

Some songs on FTLOSM are easy to read with this in mind, like I Am, but even ones like Donna Please, which is at surface glance a straight love song. But the first verse itself troubles that reading-- "You're here in my voice/inside of me/am I wrong to resist?" In my essay about Steve's voice I mentioned that he sounded a lot like Donna Summer when he was younger. There's also that little part of Young Hearts Forever that I mentioned in my FTLOSM essay: "here in the darkness/she dances alone", etc. The darkness, in a lot of Steve's songs, is a place where *he* (or the narrator) is, where the core of his self resides. Femininity is something that Steve felt he basically had to extinguish (or at the very least hide) in the 80s: for acceptance among his peers, acceptance from fans, for acceptance within his straight relationship, and safety in/from society. Lyrics like the ones I mentioned above, to me, seem to hint at him trying to accept the femininity within himself, including within his own voice, despite the various risks involved in doing so.

In other words, this was a big time for self-actualization in his professional life and probably his personal life as well.

This, of course, also applied to the stage show for the FTLOSM tour. His main outfit-- form-fitting black shirt, belted slim-cut jeans (with various rips around the crotch hehehe), hiking boots-- was a synthesis between style and comfort; most of it as a uniform wouldn't be uncommon to find among gay men at the time but it was still on the masc side and similar to his leatherman look years earlier, wouldn't have made straight people think or look twice. His super long hair was tied up. He walked on stage wearing a flannel over that usually (for the Toronto show he had a gorgeous purple satin or silk shirt instead)-- even more unassuming. But the flannel would only last for a couple songs or so before he went to the general black-shirt-and-jeans outfit. Eventually he'd break out the tux and literally let his hair down, and this was a moment that was adored by the women in the audience, but was also camp as FUCK.

you better werk betch

Basically, the tux would be hanging from the ceiling on a big white hanger and Steve would queen the fuck out in a skit talking to it like an ex-boyfriend before the sassiness and performed reluctance would turn to flirtation, which would end with him basically doing a reverse-striptease. It's almost like a drag performance. He's serving Steve Perry lewks! The whole thing (and before the "drag" show, how he played with his girlies during "I'll be Alright Without You") showed a willingness to poke fun at himself and the "Steve Perry" character he had to perform while he was with Journey. He was putting it in a different context to make it more comfortable for him, and arguably making a statement of sorts: that the self he had to perform with Journey was just as much "drag" as dressing in women's clothes would be.

Straight guys were SO confused by this, girls loved it, and Steve was extremely amused by the entire thing. Steve always had his girlies even when he was at his most femme, and that's something straight guys also get confused by I think, lol. Typical straight masculinity isn't an affect that's built to appeal to women: it's built to appeal to other men, but in a non-sexual sense. It's a way to signal belonging to the in-group, and the in-group in this case is at the top of the patriarchal totem pole, so there's a lot of incentive to fit in. To paraphrase Marilyn Frye, straight men are heterosexual but homosocial.

The way Steve performed femininity in the 70s was particularly appealing to young women and teenage girls: while there was a sexuality to it, his youthful appearance, physical and vocal androgyny, and sweet-lil-angel-boy affect made him a "safe" guy to project fantasies onto. Steve's gender expression in the 90s was different: he looked good for his age but was still obviously more mature, synthesized various kinds of masculinity and femininity within himself, and was a bit more comfortably sexual than he often was with Journey (the '80 and '86 tours were also horny as fuck tho lol). He also had that long hair, still, and girlies LOVE that lol. So he was able to appeal to the girlies *and* the gayboys, and used his appeal with the girlies to get away with appealing to the gayboys! While I wish he didn't have to work so hard to find a middle ground that he was comfortable with, it was cool that he could have that for a little while.

....UNTIL.

(hello darkness my old friend)

[saltlickmp3]

cover of jazz standard my funny valentine but darker & scarier & now about killing people, for the arrangement assesment at school. now with horror themes <3 lyrics & notes under the cut

my bloody valentine

sweet sticky valentine

you make me smile, with my heart

you look so chemical

unphotographable

yet you're mine, my work of art

is you skin less than sweet

is your heart a little weak

& when you rip it out to speak,

do you bleed?

my bloody valentine

sweet sticky valentine

you make me smile in my heart

you look so edible

darling so beautiful

til death do we part

my bloody valentine

sweet sticky valentine

you make me smile in my heart

you look so edible

blood-soaked & beautiful

til death do we part

-

with this song i was hoping to capture a certain. deranged quality. its all within the realm of fiction of course but its fun to be able to scream yknow? i played my funny valentine in my jazz combo & its usually a very slow, very sappy ballad, but i thought the descending line was quite ominous & some of the lyrics had a bit of an edge to them 'your looks are laughable / unphotographable / yet you're my favourite work of art'. and the title reminded me of shoegaze band my bloody valentine, which is also the name of a slasher film (that i havent seen) & thought the opportunity suggested itself well to make the song a lot scarier. & writing lyrics it a lot easier when you have something to go off to begin with - i had a lot of fun choosing words that had the right feel.

the feedback & distortion was the funnest part of this - i put my earplugs in & turned everything all the way up & made very loud noise for twenty minutes, which i then cut & rearranged for the backing - there are some parts that fit together pretty well that i didnt even have to move so that's good! the bell in the background at the end is the end of class bell ringing over my bass track. none of this was recorded properly lol its all just hitting record on garage band and uh. it shows. but i do really like this so yeah :]

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

ttpd review: thoughts (and prayers)

cuz wtf was that. (also providing my two cents that no one gives a shit about)

Is the promotion in the room with us?

Not going to lie, this part pissed me off. As a post evermore release swiftie, the first album release I got was midnights. And while the promotion for midnights wasn't astoundingly genius, the track list release (midnights mayhem with me) was smart. Everyday, there would be chaos all over social media of taylor taking out a number and releasing the track name. The excitement over YOYOK was to die for. But after reaching peak fame, girlie just decided shit wasn't necessary anymore. Absolutely no promotion for ttpd, except a few lyrics that provided no context (or excitement) whatsoever. That, and the very non subtle "hinting" of some big reveal of what went down between her and joe, by making some playlists, that not only ruined the perspective of many of her fans and the relationship they had with her previous songs, but ALSO. THE ALBUM HAD BARELY ANYTHING ABOUT JOE. (Not that i personally care about what happened, but it was so unnecessary to center the ONLY promotion done around someone who was barely a part of the album). Swifties went on the internet to harass joe alwyn (and his female coworkers) who might as well be called a special mention on a matty healy album. Why even do all that then? We will never know.

Confusion?

taylor released 31 songs, and while a double album theory coming true would be a dream come true for any swiftie, it just... wasn't. Out of 31 songs, barely 10 stood out. Some of it just didn't make sense, in any way. "Why is this on the album?" "This sounds like a midnights vault track." "No issues, maybe this is just a skip. I'll listen to the next. Oh wait nvm. Um." Like girl what. It just feels like a giant vault album of synth pop music.

Also, it's called the tortured poets department. There is barely anything poetic or tortured about the album aesthetic. Except maybe it's torturing me, but I'm as much of a poet as she is, which basically means I'm not one.

The album just feels so different than the other albums, in the sense that they followed an aesthetic, a certain style of music and lyrics, and created some sort of story. This one just feels like she wrote many songs and put them all on an album, picked whatever track name seemed interesting enough as the album name, and called it a day. Some of the songs are gems, some create a confusion as to why they are on this album, and some just make you cringe- or atleast go "wtf". Which is fine, but if not even half the songs fall under the first category out of 30 songs, then it's a problem.

These were written by... taylor?

The lyrics omfg. I'm not going to be one of those ppl who go around saying that the lyrics sounded like an emo middle schooler (I've heard this take) BUT again, some songs have lyrics that make you question how taylor, someone who wrote the albums folklore and evermore, and many great songs like would've, could've, should've, story of us, all too well, fearless, white horse, dbatc, daylight, red... I could keep going tbh, produced...this.

It was very weird to listen to the words "tattooed golden retriever" from someone who wrote "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" (also who the FUCK is calling matty healy that??)

A very important part of taylor's music is how it is focused on the lyrics. The music itself isn't the most special, or different, in most of her songs, but what makes them (and her) special is her songwriting. However, from her songwriting going from commonly used phrases and idioms to make them tell a story, use a wide range of vocabulary, heavily using personification, allusion, transferred epithet, and a few other figures of speech that she uses in her songs to make elements such as colours, for example, tell a story, in a way it seemed effortless and fit perfectly, to this... now it feels like she's trying to do that, but that's it. She's TRYING, and it's not yielding results, and seems more like a try hard "poet" rather than... whatever she was going for. The songs are filled with self-satisfied "clever" metaphors that are being reused and recycled over and over. This is not what ppl meant when they asked you to be more environmentally friendly, taylor.

Final thoughts I guess?

While the songs are basically only an empty shell of something that taylor used to make, the album isn't all bad. Some of the songs do sound good and go well with taylor's voice (aaron dessner, the fucking legend you are) and are quite enjoyable, if not as memorable as her other songs.

There are songs such as the prophecy, clara bow, so long, london, loml, guilty as sin?, etc., that really do come through and honestly I really like them.

I do feel that the album can grow on people, but it's just... not the best. Like she says so much, and not to quote taylor swift, but genuinely the only thing in my head right now is "the more you say, the less I know".

Overall, the album is fine, but not in taylor swift standards. It's just... not bad, with some exceptions.

[katebeckets]

AMIDST THE CHAOS: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part One: Mulder

It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone.

playlist / songs ↘

FAVOR by Julien Baker / "Who put me in your way to find? What right had you not to let me die?" I think in the context of an MSR playlist, this song speaks to Mulder's self-destructive and self-sacrificial tendencies and how he comes to learn that Scully does what she does for him — "I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar / turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favor / I always want to tell the truth but it never seems like the right time to be serious enough / ... / how long do I have until I've spent up everyone's good will?"

FOUR by Sleeping at Last / The lyrics featured in the gifset are from this song: "This blurry photograph is proof; of what, I’m not sure, but it feels like truth" is such a Mulder line. I'm not sure what enneagram I would guess Mulder is, but I think there's something to this song and his tendency to seek out the extraordinary/learning to find the beauty and mystery in the ordinary. Plus the line right before the one above: "I've fallen in love with a ghost / I lost my balance when I needed it most." And in an MSR context: "What if we already are who we've been dying to become? / In certain light, I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence hidden in you... maybe even in me."

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY by Gracie Abrams / Anyway... pain!! This song describes how Mulder loves so well: "I like to slam doors closed / Trust me, I know it's always about me / I love you, I'm sorry." And I think it touches an important point about how trauma can impact behavior: wanting to do better is one part of healing, but sometimes we end up in patterns despite ourselves. It doesn't mean that it's not on us to do better, but there can be a feeling of helplessness that comes with trying to do better and failing, knowing you're hurting others and wishing you were learning faster.

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER by Taylor Swift / This song is so devastating to begin with—truly one of my favorite songs ever—and it is absolutely the worst thing ever to think about the cancer arc and this song :) This whole song fits cancer arc (and abduction arc/literally any time Scully is hurt) so well, but I especially die when I think about the bridge: "And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you? / This won't go back to normal / if it ever was / it's been years of hoping / but I keep saying it because / 'cause I have to." And if you really want to hurt, watch this incredible video. It's fine, I'm fine.

READY TO LOSE by Ingrid Michaelson / The chorus really says it all: "I'm ready to lose everything but you." This song is also where the lyrics I featured in the post come from: "It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone."

ANYWHERE BUT HERE by SafetySuit / Something something abduction arc... "and when I'm not with you / yeah, I know that it's true / that I'd rather be anywhere but here without you."

RUT by the Killers / "So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand / that steadily reminds you of who I really am." This song reminds me of I Want to Believe; I think it's some of what I imagine Mulder to feel when Scully prepares to leave.

COME AROUND by Rosi Golan / "You feel like breathing / come around, come around, come around, come around to me / can't you see you're my lifeline?" To me, this song feels like a companion to "Rut."

A THOUSAND YEARS by Christina Perri / Cliché, I know, but hear me out — "The Field Where I Died." I know their conversation is Mulder asking Scully about it, but it's so Mulder to believe that they've known each other and been friends, always. "I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."

THE ARCHER by Taylor Swift / "And all of my heroes die all alone / help me hold on to you." There's something so, so beautiful about the way this song builds — "they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through—can you see right through me? they see right through me, they see right through me, I see right through me, I see right through me." And the way the questions that are asked—"Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?"—are then answered: "you could stay." And guess what? Scully does.

LET YOUR HEART HOLD FAST by Fort Atlantic / This song was one of the choices I almost put for the description: "to believe I walk alone is a lie that I've been told." I've always loved the core message of this song — let your heart hold fast, for this soon shall pass — and it makes me think of Mulder surviving all these years of loss, especially with Samantha.

ORPHEUS by Sara Bareilles / I think there's a theme of "don't give up on me" in these songs, but I think this one adds softness because it goes beyond what Mulder perceives as his own personal shortcomings to speak more generally: "don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos / though I know it's blinding there's a way out, say out loud: we will not give up on love now." The beginning of the song makes me think of Mulder as a child: "I know you miss the world, the one you knew—the one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth." And then one of my all-time favorite lines: "if the bottom drops out, I hope my love was someone else's solid ground." And really, Mulder is love.

PEACE by Taylor Swift / I'm so glad that we get to see Mulder grow over the course of the series and that this song begins to take on new meaning, but I think this song speaks well to the idea that chasing ghosts and monsters is part of who he is, as well as his worry that that isn't going to be good enough, that he can't be what Scully needs—"would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" I think by the end of the series, the meaning of this song can change to refer more to the questions that may never be answered, rather than Mulder's difficulty giving up the chase, which reflects his growth in his partnership and relationship with Scully. But I also think this feels like a very Mulder song because there is so much insecurity; I think at the core of his character is a sense of unworthiness, and it's part of what's so beautiful about his relationship with Scully—eventually, he's able to give her the peace that she brings him.

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 2 BRING IT ON vs. AFTER PAIN

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for BRING IT ON:

"Reasons why Bring it On should win:

- Just by starting the song, the instrumentals are BANGER. Like his more rock style is very cool, even better than After Pain’s more mellow style - Arthur’s voice (Futa’s va) had bills due because have you HEARD his singing?? His raspier voice fits Futa so well - It feels so explosive and like a call to action in a sense, which very much matches Futa’s mentality during trial 1. He also wasn’t playing victim like a CERTAIN girl… (jk, love you mu!) - SAA HAJIMEYOU USOTSUKI KARIDA - UNDEAD HEROOOI YES SLAY KING HIS HIGH NOTE HERE IS HEAVENLY - His scream at the end. Oh my god. HE LITERALLY ATE THIS NOTE. AFTER PAIN COULD NEVER. BRING IT ON FTW 🔥🔥🔥" - His range goes WAAAAAY higher than Mu. She would end up like PHG if she even tried hitting any of his high notes in the last chorus /j

---

- The vocals are amazing, those growls are so well done - You’re able to get Fuuta’s crime and motive pretty succinctly, only based on the visuals - But it still leaves a lot up to interpretation, like how he only attacked once in the final fight scene. It lead to some cool theories. - On that note, the game aspects are so cool!! Especially when paired with him going after people online, just good synergy with awesome style! - Fuuta’s scared face after he realizes what he did. The great contrast of other foes simply being knocked out then being met with blood splatter. - The tempo of the song changing with his mood is a really good touch as well. Make the song more chaotic which highlights his character traits well

---

"propaganda for bring it on: the music FUCKS it genuinely slaps so hard listening to it. song style is incredible its perfect for fuutas personality and gamer vibes. also the way the mv frames everything as a game? the only time real blood and real gore happens being when killcheroy dies? the little details of all the usernames, the different monster designs, the generally distorted feel of everything being too lighthearted?

okay i could go on about the mv for hours but lets not. aside from that: the FEEL of the song!!! the vocals!!!! it really feels like fuuta putting his whole heart into it, into this point of view that both blows problems out of proportion and minimises them, and DEEPLY fucking up. my darling little hypocrite gamer boy twitter user. he makes his witch hunt genuinely sound like something that could sweep people up into it. also the instruments goddddd. the guitar and synth the bass and the drums the DRUMS. im relistening to it to write this propaganda and it keeps making me headbang when i should be writing. if you arent headbanging to bring it on you are LYING.

the way the lyrics are written is wonderful too!!!! they feel so brash and brave and powerful and like. cocky about it. and it fits PERFECTLY. its gets someone swept up into it and it FUCKS. vote bring it on im serious. lets go!! a victory march!! dan da dan!!"

Propaganda for AFTER PAIN:

"so here is why people should vote for AFTER PAIN !!"

Muu's vocals. Need I say more?

The bridge to it is absolutely wonderfully done, the way she softens her vocals to an almost creepy point is incredible

during the final chorus you can hear the desperation in her voice and it’s very well portrayed

The coloring in this music video were phenomenal

The overlapping vocals at the end of the song just have a really really nice effect

Its just a pure banger

In some parts of the song there’s the sound of a clock ticking in the background used as a sort of beatline… GENIUS??

Its just a banger

even with what we found out about Muu in her second trial, After Pain on its own portrayed bullying in a very realisitc and artistic way (from someone who deals with it regularly)

---

"After pain propoganda: She just girlbossed too close to the sun and happened to be holding a knife at the time"

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"Gosh everything about After Pain... How can you NOT like it? It's literally such a good song and is very singable. The instrumentation is absolutely amazing and I've listened to it on loop so much."