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thebibliomancer · 5 years ago

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Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 3 liveblog

“What was sundered and undone”

Just a stream of thoughts.

The Order of Lesser Service.

Everyone is dunking on Brea.

“The order of Lesser Service is not a punishment. Its an opportunity to lift yourself up by performing the lowliest of deeds.”

Its not a punishment but Brea can’t leave and a possible task is to chew up roots and spit it into baby Nebrie’s mouths. It SOUNDS like a punishment.

“I’ve never met a princess before. I imagined they’d have shinier hair.” EVERYONE is dunking on Brea.

So the Order of Lesser Service is TOTALLY not a punishment but you have to wear a jester hat and also this other Vapran gelfling girl Juni was sent to the Order for hanging out with a boy of a different clan.

It really sounds like a punishment.

“I always thought I’d make a fantastic princess, I have the hair for it. Its very shiny.” I kind of like Juni.

So the service for the day is to swan into a Podling village and force cleaning on them.

They seem awfully happy throwing mud at each other. And bellyflopping into the mud. And eating the mud. And rolling in mud.

“There is no filthier creature in all of Thra than a Podling” cool cool cool cool racism, Gelflings.

Yeah it seems gross but its what they like? So don’t be dicks about it, geez, Gelflings.

They seriously seem upset by all this forced bathing. Leave them alone!

Theres a lot of paternalism here is what I’m getting at.

Seladon just spent five minutes complaining about Brea while Cool Sister Tavra is just trying to hone her sword and mind her business.

Tavra really is the Cool Sister. The Cool Very Patient Sister.

“I can’t be washing Podlings, I had a vision that the world was ending or beginning!”

“Sounds like heatstroke”

“FUCK YOU ITS NOT HEATSTROKE”

Brea cuts a deal with a Podling to not wash them and the Podling immediately dives into the dirt to make dirt angels.

Live your truth, Podling. Live your beautiful truth, you actual potato.

Deet: “What if we fail?”

The First Podling Paladin: “Pssh”

Hup has to explain to underground elf Deet that actually Gelflings are pretty racist against each other and may not listen to her just because she’s an underground elf.

“It may be hard at first but like anything else in life, it just takes time to adjust” -dramatically removes blindfold to make a point-

Rian knows that just because you’re on a quest to save the world and are carrying a plot critical item, doesn’t mean you can’t stop to do a random act of kindness sidequest.

“Thank the harvest we have the Skeksis to keep us safe” Dramatic ironyyyyyyy

Rian immediately gives up the game by protesting that the Skeksis killed Mira.

“We protect the lords. The lords protect the crystal of truth. All lies!”

And he ditches all his castle guard gear so he’s not so easily identified in the future.

Brea trying to hide. While wearing a jingly hat.

Tavra: “You ran away? Good.” Such the Cool Sister.

So news of Mira’s death has filtered to the Vapra by this point. And since Rian is of the Stonewood clan, ooo its time for factional tension I guess.

Cool Sister Tavra has to try to keep the peace between her sister.

Tavra: “I think you and Seladon are more alike than you realize.”

Brea: “That’s a mean thing to say!”

Tavra: “Well, you’re both very stubborn!”

Also both Brea and Seladon can tell from Tavra’s silence when she wants to say something.

“The bonds of sisterhood can be tested… but never broken” Awww, Tavra!

Deet, you’re the most sunny person possible considering you’re an underground elf.

There’s a cool ominous pillar full of swords and Hup wouldn’t let Deet ask someone about it.

“Look at that filthy green Gelfling” well fuck you too, background character.

The Stonewood Gelfling at the bar try to rearrange so there’s no room for Deet but she’s oblivious to bullying and just squeezes in anyway.

Apparently a Fizzgig are just fizzgigs. So Kira was like a pokemon trainer who names her dog Dog.

“Go crawl back into the nest you came from you dirty Grottan” and then they shove her. I think she’s less oblivious to bullying now. But also Hup doesn’t approve of that behavior and launched himself across the bar and beat up EVERYONE.

That’s what a paladin is, Avatar.

“Rascal hole” wut.

I was just thinking that there’s been a dearth of Skeksis so far and BAM scene: castle, in saunters SkekSil.

“Not talk. Just listen.” ‘Hey wanna know about this cool beetle that eats eyes?’

“Noooo never use on gelfling. Only on Skeksis who misbehave. Did you hear screams last night? Friend Scientist was naughty, so saw peeper beetle.”

Chamberlain is one of those people who uses friend ironically, I think. And the nicer the term of endearment the more worried you should be, Gurjin.

“Think Gelfing. If Skeksis do that to Skeksis, imagine what Skeksis do to Gelfling that will not talk.”

“Tell Chamberlain where Rian is.”

“Never!”

-actual affronted gasp-

Librarian: “Weren’t you sent to the Order of Lesser Service?”

Brea: “I ran away. I gotta go steal from my mom”

Librarian: “You wut”

OH HEY FLYING SCENE! Wonder how they did that.

Seladon: “So the person Brea mindwiped is here. There’s been a murder at the castle. Creatures going mad. And there’s a bunch of Gelfling worried about the Blight.”

All-Maudra: “I had to send Tavra on a dangerous mission. And Brea to the Order of Lesser Service. My daughters… gone.”

Her other daughter Seladon: “.... wtf mom”

Seladon gives her mom a pep talk to break her out of her funk.

All-Maudra: “You’ll be a great All-Maudra some day. … Straighten your wings. You look like a lopsided unamoth.”

It was almost positive reinforcement for a second but you just had to undermine it, huh?

And then Brea breaks into the room to do a Theft like right after they leave.

So the Brightest Jewel is part of the chandelier? Of what significance?

Scientist: “Treacherous, perfidious Skeksis! Oh, soon… soon they will all see!”

The guy was a Mad Scientist by default of being a lizard nightmare man but he’s going Mad Scientist “they laughed LAUGHED but I’ll show them all” from his default level of Already Mad Scientist.

He’s also saying all this out loud while Chamberlain is just standing behind him.

Chamberlain: “How is friend skekTek? Good? Mm?” You’re a card, SkekSil.

Oh, cool. Scientist replaced his eye with a cybernetic prosthetic.

Chamberlain found some lab assistants for the Scientist called Gruenaks. I guess this is why the other Skeksis managed to put up with him for so long. He backstabs them all but then gives a shoulder rub and goes ‘lol sorry’

First he’s sour, then he’s sweet. Sour Patch SkekSil.

Chamberlain: “So, we are friends? All is forgiven?”

Scientist: -grudgingly- “It's a start”

Deet is off to see the Maudra Fara and is very tired of the myths that the Grottan Gelflings are all dead. Or bats.

And then Rian shows up. Holy crap, two of the protagonists in the same square mile!

Deet: “He’s much dirtier than me, why does he get to go in?”

Guard: “Because Rian is one of us! Unlike you!” Rude.

So the Rascal Hole is just an oubliette type prison dealie. And its right in the Maudra’s court, like she’s a Jabba.

Maudra Fara: “Your return puts the Stonewood clan in a dangerous position. The Skesis have declared you a traitor to Thra.”

I have to wonder how news travels so fast. Do they have female gelfling couriers sent out to all the clans to spread the word? Is there a fantasy telegraph? I guess even a courier on a landstrider would run fastere than Rian’s tiny little legs.

Rian: “The Skeksis are the traitors! They lied to us about everything!”

Fara: “I will not tolerate heresy from a murderer”

Will you tolerate heresy from a counterfeiter? Whats the crime threshold here that will allow you to tolerate heresy?

Heresy is “belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious doctrine” so are the Skeksis literally the religion of the Gelfling? I guess the Crystal holds a massive spiritual significance to everyone of Thra and the Skeksis as the Lords of the Crystal would have a level of respect but heresy?

Rian: “I have soul goo that proves I didn’t kill Mira!”

Rian: “Dreamfast with me” which should solve everything but Rian’s dad arrived first and told Fara what the Skeksis told him that dreamfasting spreads the Madness.

Good job derailing this guaranteed plot resolution, Chamberlain.

“You are my father, why don’t you ever believe me?” I can’t wait for Rian and Brea to meet so they can commiserate over bad parents.

-Rian sees chandelier, sees rope, thinks Flynn-y thoughts-

Oh wow thats an awful lot of chandelier. And they’re full of fireflies instead of fire. Because you don’t want puppets anywhere near fire.

And Rian did do the thing where he cuts a rope and lets it carry him to escape.

Aughra: -sees the castle, reflexively- “Bah!”

Skeksis spa day???

Emperor: -applying cream and looking into a mirror- “Ah, beautiful!”

Aughra: “Skeksis?”

Emperor: “Oh shit mom’s home!”

Scroll-Keeper: “AHHH I’M NOT DECENT!”

Aughra: “PAH” -rinses her eye in his bath just because-

Aughra: “I’m unwell because Thra is unwell. I’ve come to see the Crystal, see what ails it.”

Skeksis: “NOPE CRYSTAL IS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE”

Aughra: “Everything is well? You speak and know nothing! Or is it you know and speak nothing?” Well wordplayed, Aughra.

-starts poking the Scroll-Keeper’s belly with her staff so he has to splash her to get her to back off-

It turns out her interrupting their banquet by being kidnapped in the movie wasn’t her being upset. She’s just that rude at a constant level.

Show her the Crystal before she traumatizes the Scroll-Keeper more.

Wow, the Emperor tries a very daring guilt trip on Aughra. Having gotten her addicted to space, he criticizes her for neglecting Thra and leaving the Skeksis to take care of it.

Emperor: “Then go back to your travels and we can go back to caring for the many you left behind.”

Emperor: “Guards. Throw this useless old crone out of our castle forever!”

The Gelfling guards of course do the “i thought she’d be taller” routine.

A Guard: “My grandfather said she cursed his village with ear mites because they forgot her birthday.”

B Guard: “Well I heard she sneezed and a mountain crumbled.”

Aughra: “Its all true so stay where you are or you’ll suffer the wrath of all eight and a half fingers! BAH!” -they flinch- “BAH!” -flinch again- “Ninny wheelers. Ingrates.”

And then the guards just let her wander off on her own.

-wanders past crystal. Stops. Wanders backwards-

She is not happy with how they redecorated the Crystal with EVIL.

Apparently Past Aughra recorded a message into the Crystal for Future/Present Aughra?

And Aughra tells Aughra “The moment Skeksis possessed the Crystal they abused it.” Aughra is a bad judge of character, apparently.

So the corruption of the Crystal creates the Darkening. And the Crystal or Past Aughra also replays the footage of Mira getting turned into soul goo.

“Gelflings return to Thra when they die. That is the natural order. But when Skeksis consume essence cannot return home. Thra is out of balance, thus the Darkening spreads faster.”

Eating souls is bad for the environment. Gotcha.

“You have lost the Song of Thra.” So now Aughra is off on a quest too. Like Earthbound except singing to the Skeksis isn’t going to make them feel so bad they leave.

Deet is still trying to figure out a way to rescue Hup. By wandering around aimlessly.

What a cute random tree snake rabbit. I keep expecting it to be actually huge and try to eat her.

Dammit Rian, you startled the random tree snake rabbit!

But hey, now two of the protagonists are in the same vicinity and ACTUALLY interacting.

Of course, Rian is massively paranoid now.

Rian: “Who sent you? Maudra Fara?”

Deet: “Maudra Argot! Well, actually it was the Sanctuary Tree.”

Rian: “??? oh.”

Deet has decided that since Rian cut in line in front of her, he has to help her rescue Hup. But he can’t what with being on the run from everyone and having broken all of the chandelier at Maudra Fara’s throne room.

Rian: “It won’t light, the ground is too wet”

Deet: “We’ll see about that.” -instantly succeeds-

Castle living has made you a bad camper, Rian.

Rian: ‘Holy shit the one person who hasn’t heard the lie about me being a murderer!’ -Deet has an epiphany and runs off- “Aww =( .”

It was nice to have two whole protagonists in the same conversation for two whole minutes. =P

Brea returns with the Brightest Jewel. And finds that Onica is now Elder Onica.

Elder Onica: “I served as Cadia’s apprentice for many trine. His memory loss allowed me to give myself a long overdue promotion.”

Hey, whatever works.

Brea was assuming, as I was, that the Brightest Jewel was payment. Which offends Onica because Stereotypes about Sifa. (Sifa Sea Faring? Boo) But the Brightest Jewel is actually a chrysalis and the answer.

Brea: “Oh. …….. I don’t understand.”

Onica: “A great many things.”

EVERYONE dunking on Brea today.

“This is the chrysalis of an Imperial unamoth, the totem animal of your clan.”

Onica: “Ask your question”

Brea: “Ask the moth??????”

Oh thats a pretty moth. Annnnnd it just flew off.

Onica was pretty cool.

Sooooo, wait. Wait. Brea is trying to learn what a vision means and is following a moth.

Annnnnd the moth turned into the symbol on the All-Maudra’s throne and opened a secret passage. Thats some good good fantasy nonsense.

Although I thought the throne room was not on the ground floor so where could a secret throne passage lead?

Questions, questions. Too many questions...

#dark crystal #dark crystal age of resistance #liveblog #episode 3

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