#BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT ANGRY!!
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When bae is angry at you
#godzilla x kong: the new empire#godzilla#mothra#kong#godzilla x mothra#mothzilla#mosugoji#when the love of your life your queen your bae your wife is PISSED#whoa Goji you gon done it my dude#mothra would be like:#WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?!#I WAS GONE FOR 5MIN (in kaiju time ig?) AND THIS IS WHAT I SEE THE FIRST THING I WAKE UP?!?!#YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!!!#I love you and I missed you tons#BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT ANGRY!!#And Goji would be like: “Babe im sorry pls calm down my love pls i can explain”#anyway Goji was HELLA HAPPY TO SEE HER HHHHHHH#Mothzilla is canon ya'll#it's canon....#do not repost#my art
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this is coming from the position of a student, so don't take my word as gospel, but i want to strongly encourage people to prepare for the coming years and look outward to find communities in real life. this can be big like getting involved in fundraisers or organizations or small like going to poc/queer/art social spaces and talking to people. making friends and connections will help you and others build support networks, something you will need as we enter the new term. i know talking to strangers in real life can be scary, unfamiliar, or difficult (depending on where you live especially) and it may take a lot of compromising and work –– and i don't want to condescend –– but we have to try starting now. this is about your safety and welfare, as well as the most vulnerable people's.
if leftists/progressives/minorities want to survive and beat back what's coming, we need to do our work offline too and take up space. an example of getting involved would be (if you're an artist) reaching out to fundraising organizers and making prints of your artwork to donate for raising funds.
#personal#this doesn't account for everyone but it's something to think about#also please be nicer to people. leftists especially on social media have a tendency to be mean in a very unconstructive way to each other#and i don't want to discount what they tend to be angry or mean about because it often does matter but i hope our first reaction toward#a dissenting opinion or behavior is a little grace instead of immediately dunking on each other for points#i'm also not saying online communities and spaces aren't any good for support but. it might not be enough. put the work in to prep yourself#it sucks how when right wingers lose they blame leftists. when leftists lose we blame each other.#leftists blame liberals and liberals blame poc voters and it can be completely true and warranted and then we all get killed#please resist doing that this time#be a friend; show some grace; look out for each other please#an example from my life would be i've been going to munches and queer/kink events and meeting friendly people#it's pretty tiring socializing and working through those interactions and by the end i'm also pretty tired#but it's worth it because not only do i know someone irl who's like me but if they're ever in trouble or need help#i can be a potential lifeline to them in an immediate way. and vice versa
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My two cents on Aziraphale's "I forgive you" is that he was straightforwardly lashing out. He knows how little Crowley wants to be forgiven. He knows because Crowley just told him. Crowley rejects forgiveness so absolutely that he rejects Aziraphale right along with it. It's the whole fight in a microcosm: Aziraphale standing there offering forgiveness and Crowley saying, I don't want it.
So maybe the words are Aziraphale showing he finally understands Crowley. He knows now that "I forgive you" is the very worst thing he could say to Crowley. That's why he says it. That's how he means it.
#good omens#good omens meta#there might be different nuances to this if you assume there was something more going on in their fight#but i think this is the face value reading of the line#and any alternative explanations have to start here#look it's just if you watch his face he settles on ANGRY before he says it#he says i forgive you but he doesn't mean i forgive you#he means *fuck you*#i also think this ties in very well to his opening image of forgiving Maggie's rent#in an opening and closing image you want to show change you want to dramatically contrast where the character is at#we open with Aziraphale forgiving thousands of pounds without a thought#saying 'I'm very good at forgiveness'#and we close on him facing something he cannot forgive#(in that moment. obviously he and crowley will reconcile.)#fable talks good omens
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love how what made me hate snow in the original thg trilogy was all the atrocities, but what made me hate him in tbosas was the fact that he doesn't get poetry and hates ghost stories, like what a fucking philistine
#obviously the other shitty stuff he does as well#but for some reason his reaction to lucy gray's wordsworth song made me want to grind my teeth into a fine powder#i remember sitting in the breakroom at work and pronouncing him a 'fucking troglodyte' out loud i was so angry😂#see? just because i'm a simp for thomas keir blyth doesn't mean i don't also hate snow's guts at my core#i can be a simp and a hater at the same time#coriolanus snow#president snow#lucy gray baird#tbosas spoilers#snow#snowbaird#coriolanus x lucy gray#lucy gray x coriolanus#coryo snow#ballad of songbirds and snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#tbosas#thg#lucy gray#tom blyth
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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Please more buff aang I'm thirsty 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
well i hope these will quench ya....
i had wayyyy more fun with this than i should have had. i was giggling and kicking my feet nonny, it's my first time doing quenching drawings like that. i'm not that great with manly muscles so i'm sorry for the messyness and mistakes. thank you sm for this ask my dear thirsty anon! also sorry if the kataang wasn't that you expected but in this house we serve kataang at every chance
#aang#atla#avatar: the last airbender#buff aangie for the girls#and boys#and everyone more#kataang#katara#just figured aang must wake up with is hair trying to grow out sometimes#my first drawing is absolutely wrong ofc aang meditates or does yoga BEFORE breakfast#but i wanted to draw him sleepy#and then yoga with sifu sweetie#the sweetie thing is just so ridiculous i now officially love it#now for the last one i got serious ok#i love to draw powerful avatar shenanigans aang#i know he's learned to not be in angry destructive avatar state but it doesn't mean it wouldn't happen eventually#he's mad and crying because he's heard of capitalism#i know aang i know#avatar the last airbender#anon request#to all other anons who have requested me stuff.....i'm sorry. i don't normally do requests this one just got to me#i am also learning to be more comfortable with posting sketches#gurin illustrates atla
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I just saw someone say that people shouldnt get into MotoGP by social media cause they aren't "true fans" and instead their father should introduce them to it...
Fuck you. Leave us alone.
#LIKE SORRY????#THE GOD DAMN AUDACITY SOME PEOPLE HAVE#Yes I'd love to have a loving dad that explains me how motogp works when I was a kid BUT I DON'T#HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME AND GIVES 0 SHITS ABOUT MOTOGP#DOES THAT MEAN I'M NOT A REAL FAN???#FUCK YOU#If you really believe that you don't understand this sport#IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU GET IN THE SPORT THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE INTRESTED AND THAT YOU HAVE FUN#motogp#rant post#seriously that made me so fucking angry
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#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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Can I be real for a second? I don't think L giving a foot massage to Light was very in-character of him. Like manga!L would've totally scoffed at how pathetic anime!L appeared when he did that.
I like the rain scene bc it's really pretty (also Light MOANS bc of L? *sighs* yeah i ship lawlight) but I'm always so ?? at anime!L's behavior? The anime made L way too melancholic and y'know self-deprecating kinda guy. In contrast, manga!L (whom I love to death) is so so confident in doing what he's doing and has the time of his life during the Kira case as he's intellectually challenged (by Light) as he figures out the case little by little.
I don't get where the anime creators got the idea that L is a very sad character who cares about justice so much so that he's actually Justice itself? Manga!L enjoys solving cases. I'm not saying that L doesn't care about justice at all- just that he cares more about winning.
So, the anime creators looked at a character who cares about winning (& his own ego) than everything else and decided to... make him give a foot massage to his nemesis (surprise surprise bible symbolism featuring L as Jesus *🤮* coming up) apparently due to accepting Light's (boy's first debut as Judas) 'betrayal' how can there be betrayal when there was no trust between them in the first place and saying "It is the least I can do to atone for my sins"...
The only way I could've made a little sense of this is if L was mocking Kira with that line but the anime just had to go above & beyond to make it (L's actions) seem too genuine for that to be true. which is. so. FRUSTRATING
Manga!L wouldn't have done anything like that. Not even ironically (he'd have thought it to be below him for pretending to be accepting his defeat mockingly to Kira). Even Manga!L's not enough of a bastard to try to compare himself with Jesus (and just after knowing (god knows how) that he's going to die)- like that's too stupid omg: even for a mockery.
Does he actually think that Light would pick up on the (him as Jesus) symbolism and be like 'oh no! L is too noble like Jesus to die by my betrayal i'm such a bad judas how come i NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE'... and decide to spare L's life? Or embrace his inner Judas like the bad bitch he is and finish L for that godawful mockery of Jesus?
Whenever I think about Anime!Light's in-character reaction I crack up as it would be smth like 'wow this guy who graduated summa cum laude from torture university is pretending to be Jesus? lol what a real piece of work. would've expected better from you L: so pathetic lmao i hope rem kills you soon i'm so done with you rn- rip 💀'
Manga!L (if he knew he were going to die (don't know how that's possible in the anime; still we're talking about how the anime creators seem to see L as Jesus so ~anything is possible~) that is) would never go 'guess i'll die' accept his defeat offering a foot massage to his enemy and inwardly throw a pity party being all "… It'll be lonely, won't it?" GIRL you were the one going on & about how you'd EXECUTE Kira once you catch him on live tv (also saying that you'd bring Kira's head to the task force) I REALLY doubt you'd feel lonely if either one of you were to die- that (killing each other) was the point!!
Manga!L is a selfish character: he values his victory above all else so the anime making him accept defeat that easily + gracefully doesn't sit well with me.
#death note#l lawliet#light yagami#manga vs anime#manga!L#anime!L#anime!Light#the rain scene#the foot massage scene#yes i ship lawlight; no i don't think the rain scene was very faithful to L's character in the manga; yes we exist#as you can see i rlly RLLY don't like anime's take on L: i prefer the og manga!L :)#anime!L just isn't my cup of tea#manga!L's confidence in his assholery is much rather appreciated#i keep thinking about how i don't like certain parts of dn anime: the first of which being this rain scene#the second being how the anime handles Sayu's kidnapping and Light's reaction to it#but that's a can of worms i'll open later#i can't shut up apparently so here's a teaser: Light wouldn't have MURDERED Sayu OH MY GOD READ THE GODDAMN MANGA#in which he bends over backwards to protect her! and succeeds!! (at the cost of losing the death note to Mello) would you look at that??#yeah i'm aware anime!Light doesn't kill Sayu but the way he's shown seriously considering it#(and choosing to let her live only so as to not increase suspicion)#leaves me so ANGRY#SAYU MEANS A LOT TO LIGHT OK?#he would not fucking do that#aaaaand....end rant#p#my meta#sorta#100
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Listen I love Pokemon so so SO much. Like so much. But I do want to say in terms of design it’s REALLY gone downhill;;
There’s definitely a lot of really sick designs in Gen 9 that I can’t really nitpick at too much because compared to what we could have had they did a good job with them.
But then we have Dunsparce.
I want to talk about Dunsparce in particular because of its evolution. I know a good handful of people have wanted to see a Dunsparce evolution for YEARS now, and for good reason: It’s a very forgettable Pokemon. A normal type one stage that shows up briefly in Generation 2 (which, sadly, is a generation full of forgettable Pokemon) and barely anywhere else. SO if we take that and look at some other really neat Gen 2 evos we got in Legends Arceus and SV--like Wyrdeer and Farigiraf, for example--you’d THINK that they’d come up with something equally as creative and unique, right?
NO.
LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS DUNSPARCE.
NOW LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS DUDUNSPARCE.
WHAT THE FUCK.
It looks the same. IT LOOKS THE EXACT SAME. It just has another segment and a thing on the tip of its tail. You could mistake this for a powered up Dunsparce or a shitty take at a regional form. What the ever loving christ is this???
THERE WAS SO MUCH ROOM FOR POTENTIAL HERE. Instead they just said ah yeah let’s just slap some extra stripes on it and maybe give it a cool wingdrilll thing and move on. LIKE. BRO. THIS IS THE LAZIEST POKEMON EVOLUTION DESIGN I’VE EVER SEEN. THIS IS FUCKING INSULTING.
If you Google Dunsparce evolution, you’ll find WAY better designs made by creators not currently employed by Nintendo:
(@/woodenplank on Twt)
(@/mykemon_regions on IG)
(@/trainer_matz on IG)
THESE ARE SO MUCH COOLER??? Some of them even have an ouroboros theme which is SO sick and such a clever idea for a Dunsparce evo.
I’m just. I’m so salty. We could have had a sickass evolution but we were ROBBED
Anyway Nintendo shape up and hire these people to do your designs instead of whoever you have on staff right now that designed THAT abomination of an evolution
#[[#EDIT: To everyone saying 'You're missing the joke! It's a joke!'#I KNOW it's a joke. I'm not stupid lmao#Doesn't mean I have to like it!! I paid $60 for this game and got this. I'm allowed to dislike it#]]#I'M SO ANGRY#WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT.#THAT IS THE SADDEST EXCUSE OF A POKEMON EVOLUTION I'VE EVER SEEN#GRABS A PILLOW WITH MY TEETH AND SHAKES MY HEAD LIKE A DOG#I'm so insulted by this. Who the FUCK designed that evo#It's so bad. It's SO bad#Pokemon#Pokemon SV#Pokemon Scarlet and Violet#AND WHAT KIND OF NAME IS DUDUNSPARCE. FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT ACTUALLY#SCREAMS INTO THE VOID#Nintendo you better shape up. This is garbage. I'm SO. AHGHHDSHFHGHH.#Dunsparce#Pokemon SV spoilers#Shima speaks#Okay rant over move along everyone
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Nobara truthers, Gojo truthers, I'm a goddamn Higuruma truther. He's not fucking dead, my dude is coming back
#higuruma hiromi#jjk higuruma#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#gojo is dead#nobara idk bc gege hates women and me specifically#but i think dead#higuruma however is not#my source: themes#it would be way thematically better if he was not dead#gojo thematically should be dead#it makes sense and it would be bad actually for him to come back#and he should not be teasing that#either I'm not seeing something or nobara dying doesn't make any sense in the themes in the first place#even if she does come back#which he basically said she won't#but then.....#idk I'm confused#and angry#but higuruma's parallel with yuuji especially#and a lil with nanami#make me think he's not dead#which means maybe none of them who fought sukuna are dead#except gojo. gojo is dead
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**onk spoilers** CH 158
no but seriously, what is up with this guy? I think he really IS cursed
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#I BET THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED REGARDING THE CASE WITH AI...#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#he doesn't act out himself but the people around him seems to grow insane;;;#doodle#spoilers#like... I keep saying this but this guy;; I think he never wanted to harm Ai he probably just wanted to send a bouquet lol#did he send one to ruby this time as well???? then that means he never meant anything bad as he sent those!! he's cursed!!!#I'm sorry but I found this ridiculous#why is he like this? his life is suffering#to add.. Ai must be so done with all this#let her be angry#I can publish this now that the chapter'll be out~~~~~I heard about the spoilers and I HAD to draw this GOODNESS
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i feel like it's very important to admit that often, being nice IS hard. and that's okay, because it just is. being nice does cost energy or stress sometimes. i don't understand why this isn't talked about enough.
#♡ posting from my enclosure ♡#there is a person on the bus who kept invading my personal space without questions or apology despite sitting on a different seat#and believe me when i tell you that it was difficult to make myself stay calm and not lash the hell out at him#idm physical contact but that whole situation just made me feel extremely annoyed#like i was ANGRY#i still am#but doesn't mean i can punch or kick or whatever that person. i have to be nice and ask him nicely or whatever#guh#btw when i say being nice i don't mean being a ppl pleaser. i mean trying to be respectful towards people and not mistreat them#proud of everyone who has tried to be nice today btw :33 idc what ur reason for it was i'm proud of you#there are other examples than the person on the bus situation btw
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day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#jungsu#kim jungsu#jun han#junhan#jooyeon#gunil#ode#gaon#han hyeongjun#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kwak jiseok#jungsu23#forfreddy#HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down#(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way#this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating#and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it#and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy#but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much#and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own#who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu
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Now that the series is over, I wanna get something off my chest. Ever since the end of the Togachako battle, and especially 429, I'm mad at anyone who has Toga as a hero either in a she never became a villain sense or a rehabilitation way and doesn't have Ochako interact with her. Let my girls talk to each other! To grow and heal, even if it's just in the background, don't let Ochako's promise be in vain. Even if it's in a platonic way, even if it's a throwaway line I just need them to interact.
#toga himiko#I just want them to be happy#let them be friends in those fics please!!!#I just need toga happy in the background at this point#I know this more towards fics from back then but they now make me angry#like what do you mean toga's alive well and happy but Ochako doesn't interact with her#togachako#mha#shouts of the void#no i'm still not over Toga's death#why you asking T-T
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𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.
First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.
Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion. Mystra, knowing that, used him to filth.
Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.
Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.
Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?
Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.
Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.
Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.
Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.
Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.
Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.
Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.
After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.
Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.
At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.
Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.
As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.
And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.
Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.
Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.
Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.
And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.
Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)
Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.
He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?
Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.
The answer is: entirely.
For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.
Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)
Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.
They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.
Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.
Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.
He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)
Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.
Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.
Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.
Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.
#HEADCANON.#Oh... anyway. This. Was. A lot.#And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write.#So much of this hit home.#Gale isn't perfect. He can be petty and immature—a byproduct of not being all too good at venting his frustrations when#it gets to a point. He has very bad self esteem. He is not forgiving of himself and is too forgiving of Mystra.#He endured FOR DECADES the cold indifference of a goddess he called his lover.#I know people dog on him because he's a grown man with these hurts and traumas and responses#but just because his trauma manifested in ways you don't find palatable or hot or sexy#doesn't mean they aren't scars left by trauma buddy!!!#And quite frankly that bit about God Gale sounding vindictive and angry#yeah! SOMETIMES people who have so cold and uncaring and belittling a partner#end up angry. You shoved someone into a corner and hounded them for SO LONG. Don't start crying when they rear back on you and bite#I have a deep connection with godhood Gale. But obviously a healed Gale that finds love and acceptance in himself is so much healthier.#I'm rooting for you Gale (always).#So much of this was typed up with a lot of first hand experience so... to say this was a Gale exploration#as much as a way to navigate my own trauma is an apt one.#No two tales of abuse are alike of course. Gale's experience isn't my experience. But I can sympathize a great deal.#TL;DR: This meta post means a lot to me. K. Thanks.
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