#BUT SHIT THAT ENDING GGG G GGG

[qnmry-a-blog]

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT THAT WAS SUCH A  GOOD EP

[thesportssoundoff]

“Hey Pittsburgh, we uh...we got a thing for ya” Fight Night: Rockhold vs Branch preview

So for the majority of you/us, Gennady Golovkin vs Canelo Alvarez is THE fight of the year in boxing and maybe even in MMA if we never get McGregor vs the winner of Ferg/Lee. For the slimmest of you, aka me and other hardcore UFC fans who have compulsion problems, we will be watching the UFC's Fight Night LIVE from Pittsburgh. I almost thought about heading out to this show but the ride would've been too much for a main event involving David Branch. I'll just wait for an inevitable return to Philly I suppose. Sometime before 2025 please? Anyways this show is...it's weird. There's been far worse free TV offerings from the UFC but it's also not great. What's more, it's not great on a night where great programming abounds everywhere (Louisville/Clemson, LSU/Mississippi State, Texas/USC on free TV, GGG vs Canelo) and the entire MMA and boxing community are recovering from the Mayweather/McGregor show. In the end, we're left with a fine show pitting some fine fighters against one another in some fine contests. The headliner is what a boxing trainer I knew would refer to as "mandatory non-destination programming." In other words, it's an important fight that's hard to care for. Beyond that the show has a nice mix of fighters who COULD be major players in the division vs established veteran challengers and intriguing on paper fights which would be hard pressed to not at least be amusing. All in all, this is just a card on a Saturday designed to fill out a predetermined schedule. Proceed accordingly.

Fights: 11

Debuts:  2 (Azunna Anwanyu and Alex Reyes)

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 2 (Thiago Alves OUT, Alex Reyes IN vs Mike Perry/ Dimitriy Sosnovski OUT, Azunna Anwanyu IN vs Justin Ledet)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 4 (Luke Rockhold, Hector Lombard, Sergio Moraes and Anthony Hamilton)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC:  2 (Hector Lombard, Felipe Arantes)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 8 (Sergio Moraes, Kamaru Usman, Gregor Gillespie, Anthony Smith, Justin Ledet, Tony Martin, Olivier Aubin-Mercier and Uriah Hall)

Stat Monitor for 2017:

Debuting Fighters (Current number: 25-23)- Zu Anwanyu, Alex Reyes

Short Notice Fighters (Current number: 17-25)- Zu Anwanyu, Alex Reyes

Second Fight (Current number: 22-27)-  Daniel Spitz

Cage Corrosion (14-7)- Luke Rockhold

Twelve Precarious Ponderings:

1- I wonder if I didn't give this main card enough credit on paper for being decent enough to get by. It's not going to wow anybody BUT that's neither her nor there; it's just not an awful showcase. The main event is a dull fight on paper BUT Rockhold vs Branch has some serious divisional relevance and you can absolutely appreciate on paper what the point is behind said fight. Mike Perry vs Thiago Alves on paper was a great test for both guys but Alves fell out. It would be easy to just call this a scrub fight BUT Mike Perry himself was like a week notice replacement for somebody once. The same could be said for Justin Ledet vs competent regional HW Zu Anwanyu on short notice. I have little interest in Anthony Smith vs Hector Lombard on paper but Smith is on a finishing roll in the UFC and Hector Lombard COULD be fighting for his job. Gregor Gillespie is coming off a really impressive mowing down of Andrew Holbrook and could be a player at 155 lbs. Lastly you have an intriguing fight between Kamaru Usman and Sergio Moraes primarily because Moraes is the first guy who stylistically people would say has a shot at stifling Usman (a bigger stronger grappler type). It's not as bad as I imagined.

2- Is Luke Rockhold the most hated UFC fighter ever? This Bisping-GSP fiasco is entirely on his shoulders because if he beats Bisping, we're not dealing with any of this mess.

3- It's believed that Branch is getting this fight because a) Anderson Silva said no, b) Romero would take it but only if it was three rounds and c) Jacare doesn't want to fight any time soon. So David Branch draws Luke Rockhold in the main event and lest we forgot, Branch is absolutely Mr. Ratings. Now what can David Branch necessarily do to Luke Rockhold? I mean....I 'unno. Branch has been training for five round fights since he essentially wound up at WSOF. Now counter to that, so has Luke Rockhold. Branch has been successful at LHW but I have little doubt Rockhold's future is at 205 lbs by the end of 2018 at the earliest. Branch is pretty strong in the clinch but Rockhold made Weidman look small in the clinch. Rockhold's grappling is world's better than Branch. The one key caveat is that Rockhold has, at times, looked chinny during his UFC run. Getting finished by Vitor is not the end of the world given Vitor's.....physique but there's simply no way to justify getting flattened by Bisping. No way no how.

4- Without looking it up, guess who is younger between Rockhold and Branch and also by how much.

5- How many finishes would Mike Perry have to get in a row before his detractors acknowledged that he brings excitement to events?

6- Of all the fighters on this main card, no one guy has the ability to challenge for the title and soon the way Kamaru Usman has. Usman's wrestling is above and beyond the call of duty and his striking seems to be improving as well. The downside is that beyond the best wrestler in the UFC is like a big glowing tag that reads BORING on it, even though Usman tends to be a hyperactive ground and pounder who just seems to lack the ability to get that ONE fight finishing shot. If he can finish Kamaru Usman, he might take that BIG step up the rankings that people seem to be waiting for him to take. Sergio Moraes has been successful across a collection of weight classes (185 on TUF, 170 in the actual UFC) and he's a crazy good grappler who AT LEAST has pop in his hands. It's a good test for Usman as the UFC tries to figure out if he's a nuisance or a star on the rise.

7- Is Anthony Hamilton vs Daniel Spitz potentially the worst sanctioned fight  (MMA, boxing, kickboxing, shoot wrestling, pillow) in the history of the universe?

8- There are a lot of wrasslers on this card and grappler types matched up; one such fight is Olivier Aubin Mercier taking on Tony Martin. OAM is a grappler first and foremost with a knack for submissions (although getting there is a chore). Tony Martin is a grinder who has suddenly discovered that he can strike over his last few fights. Mercier is hard to hit but doesn't react well when he IS hit while Martin seems to struggle with his cardio and his angles. It's a well matched clash on paper.

9- Felipe Arantes vs Luke Sanders is a really intriguing fight and one of those sleeper bouts you get one of those  FS1 cards during a block of FS1 cards where you go "Oh shit that's a freakin' great fight." Sanders is 1-1 in the UFC but he could be 2-0 had he not made a tactical error vs Iuri Alcantara. Felipe Arantes is one of those guys who dropped down in weight and seemed to find himself. After going 3-3-1 at 145 lbs, Arantes moved down in weight to 135 lbs and he's gone 2-1 and could be undefeated in the weight class  depending on how you view his split decision loss to a one legged Erik Perez. Both guys are action oriented fighters although Sanders tends to keep things upright and batter dudes while Arantes has become more sub savvy at 135 lbs.

10- Okay so is Hector Lombard the biggest UFC bust ever? Also let's not forget that at 28, Anthony Smith would be among the younger top 15 guys.

11- Justin Ledet came into the UFC and boxed up Chase Sherman at high altitude for three rounds; a win that in hindsight looks a lot better. Then he went into Belfast and submitted Mark Godbeer in relatively easy fashion. Zu Anwanyu is a good veteran HW who hits hard, hits infrequently and is one of those guys who just does stuff just to do it.

12- We still in on this Uriah Hall buzz or nah?

Must Win

1- Luke Rockhold

There's simply no way to describe this; Luke Rockhold cannot lose to Michael Bisping and Davis Branch back to back. You cannot be a top 10 MW and do that. You just can't.

2- Hector Lombard

The argument could be made that Lombard is the biggest flop in UFC history. A win over Anthony Smith doesn't prevent that from being the case BUT a loss might as well solidify it.  Aging Hendo to bloated Hendricks to Anthony Smith? Irreplacable.

3- Kamaru Usman

Usman may be the best prospect between 170 and 205 lbs----but he's lacking a really signature win or finish to cement that. As of right now, he's just a really talented wrestler with powerful g-n-p who fight fans do not care to see. A win over Sergio Moraes would absolutely challenge that thought process ESPECIALLY if he gets a finish.

Five Must See Fights

1- Gregor Gillispie vs Jason Gonzales

Simply put, Gregor Gillispie is a very unique talent in a division filled with them. Jason Gonzalez has the ability to challenge Gregor in a few areas but this should be a fun exciting showcase for a good fighter.

2- Mike Perry vs Alex Reyes

I know nothing of Alex Reyes but Mike Perry has finished 3 of his 4 UFC fights, all in relatively violent fashion. He's an all offense, no defense sort of fighter who relies on his chin. He's got some scary Leben-esque tendencies to his game.

3- Kamaru Usman vs Sergio Moraes

This is a total stylistic clash but one where the stylistic advantages of both fighters suggest whomever has improved the most outside of their strengths will dictate who wins. That makes it fun and compelling.

4- Luke Rockhold vs David Branch

The question re: Rockhold's chin make this a compelling fight on paper. Chances are once the bell rings, it'll be a whole lot less compelling.

5- Daniel Spitz vs Anthony Hamilton

This has "must be seen to be believed" written all over it.

[ghostsinthewoods]

Bonus: Gregg and Bea Solve a Mystery

Early evening in Possum Springs. The sky was a sleepy orange, the setting sun poking out from behind a few scarce clouds. The weather was getting warmer. It was still appropriate weather for long sleeves and hoodies, but more and more people were just wearing t-shirts.

Not that Bea could appreciate the weather, really. She was stuck behind the counter at the Ol' Pickaxe. A whole day of moving tools, lifting supplies, and explaining different types of hammers to the customers.

They really needed to get someone else on the team. That guy Danny had worked for them for, like, two or three days before getting fired. Maybe Germ was looking for a job? He already helped out sometimes.

Bea almost considered if Mae might be interested, but she decided against it. She loved Maeday, but she didn't trust her around anything heavy and unwieldy.

Well, this was all stuff Bea could talk to her dad about. He'd been having a few good days recently. Bea would have been hopeful, but he'd had good days before. Without some sort of professional help, Bea didn't know if her dad would get out of the place he was in.

The bell above the door rang, and Bea already knew who it was. Mae stopped in to check on her friends every day. It was right before closing, so if Mae wanted to do something, Bea felt like she'd be down for it. She didn't really have any other plans.

But it wasn't Mae at the door. That threw Beatrice for a loop. Instead, it was Gregg. His expression was hard to read as he sprinted towards the shop's counter.

This was weird. Gregg almost never stopped in at the Ol' Pickaxe. It wasn't an unwelcome surprise, of course—she didn't hang out with Gregg that much, but she still considered him a friend. Still, something seemed wrong.

"Dude, the barn!" He said, stopping to catch his breath. "Burglars!"

"Okay, Gregg, I'm going to need a complete sentence," Bea said. "Also, hello to you, too."

Gregg seemed confused at first. He nodded, though, and waved. "Yeah. Hey. Hi, Bea. Hi. Someone broke into the Party Barn."

"Is it really breaking in considering it's abandoned?" Bea asked. "Because, if it is, then we break in there all the time."

"This is serious, Bea!" Gregg exclaimed. "They jacked our shit! All of our shit is jacked as hell!"

Okay, that was concerning. Bea knew that leaving the instruments in the Party Barn was a bad idea. It was a good thing she wasn't dumb enough to leave her computer in there. But now wasn't the time to say 'I told you so.'

"Have you told the police?" Bea asked. Almost as soon as she said it, though, she realized it was a dumb question. Gregg shared the same 'Eff the cops' mentality that Mae had. The antiestablishment fervor of middle class 20-somethings.

"If I tell the cops, they'll just say it was dumb for me to keep my shit in there," Gregg said.

"Okay, but it was pretty dumb," Bea pointed out.

"And that's why I'm not telling the cops," Gregg said. "I've already heard it from you."

Bea sighed. "Look, Gregg, I'm sorry. This really sucks. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah," Gregg said, "I'm gonna try and sleuth out some clues. Come with me. Let's be cops."

Bea wasn't even sure what to say to that. Over the few years she'd known him, Bea had never quite gotten used to Gregg's strange brand of zaniness. It seemed like every few days, he had something new to surprise her. This was one of those days.

"Okay, I guess I can help you look," Bea said slowly. "Should we, like, tell Mae or Angus?"

Gregg frowned. "Nah, Mae's doing something with Germ. And Angus has…" A look of mild disgust seemed to cross Gregg's face. "He's got family stuff."

Ah. 'Family stuff'. Now that she thought about it, Angus had mentioned his brother would be coming over for a visit a few weeks ago. That meant a visit to their mom. Bea felt her face contort into the same look of disgust that Gregg had.

"Alright," Bea sighed. "Let's go. I don't know what you're expecting, though."

Gregg grinned. "I'm expecting to solve a mystery, Beatrice."

The Party Barn seemed to never change. Ever since it had closed, and the supplies and furniture had been moved out, it seemed to be in a constant state of emptiness. It was like the pictures of abandoned building people posted online.

Well, it was an abandoned building. Most of the time. But whenever the band was in there, for a few minutes every night the building was full of music.

Tonight, though, it was only full of old confetti and two idiots looking for clues.

Bea wasn't entirely sure why she was there. It was probably just because she didn't really have anything else to do. It was a little weird that Mae had decided to just hang out with Germ without saying hi.

Then again, both Mae and Germ were a little weird themselves.

While Gregg searched around behind the Birthday Zone stage, Mae leaned against one of the support columns and lit a cigarette. Watching Gregg dig through the old streamers and decorations, Bea found it amazing that he had so much energy after a day of work.

"Oh, shit!" Gregg suddenly called out.

Bea raised an eyebrow. "What? Did you find something?"

Bea walked over to where Gregg was crouched down. She'd figured he hadn't found whatever clue he was looking for, and she was right. Gregg was pointing to the cement floor underneath the Birthday Zone stage. Graffiti of all sorts had been carved into it.

Gregg was pointing at a cluster of words in particular. 'GGG', 'KC', and 'MAEDAY'.

"Oh," Bea said. "I'm guessing this is something you guys did a while ago?"

"Yeah, when we were, like, 12," Gregg said. "For some reason, Casey thought it was cool for him to write his name as 'KC' back then." He shrugged, and then pointed to the three G's on the floor. "That's mine."

Bea blinked. She knew for a fact that those weren't his initials. "Why the three G's?" She asked.

Gregg smirked, as if he was holding in the greatest joke in the world. "They're the G's in my name," he said. "They stand for Gay, Gayer, Gayest."

Bea laughed. "You know, you're lucky your name has three G's in it. That joke wouldn't work if your name was, like, Lawrence. You should be thankful."

"I'm thankful that my name isn't Lawrence every day of my life," Gregg said.

Bea was contemplative for a moment. "So, like," she said, "I hope you don't think this is prying, but did you really know you were gay back when you were 12?"

Gregg didn't seem offended. He shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, I almost feel like I've always known. Like, I realize there must have been a point in my life when I didn't know, but… I mean, I dunno."

Bea nodded. "Right. Sorry, I don't know why I asked."

"Dude, it's cool. Don't apologize." Gregg laughed. "I mean, I knew who I was pretty early. I feel like a lot of people probably go through life not knowing who or what they're into, you know?"

Bea did know. Some people, like Gregg or Jackie, figured out who they were fairly early. Meanwhile, Bea wasn't 100% certain about who she was. She was fairly certain she was straight. At least, she thought she was. But every so often, something happened that made her question that.

Now wasn't the time to think about that, though. Gregg continued searching under the stage. After a few seconds, he let out a triumphant cry and pulled something out.

"Check it out!" He exclaimed. "A clue!"

It took Bea a few seconds to register what exactly it was. Mostly because she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"That's a bong," Bea said.

"Sure is!" Gregg said. "Our culprit must've dropped it when they were nabbing the instruments."

Bea didn't even know where to start with that. For one thing, it wasn't an old bong. The green glass wasn't dusty, so it couldn't have been here for long. Also, while Bea wasn't very knowledgeable about weed culture, she somehow doubted that people just carried bongs with them all over the place.

"Levy probably knows whose bong this is," Gregg said. "If not, he can point us in the right direction."

"Then what?" Bea asked.

"Then, we nab 'em," Gregg said with a grin. "We bring 'em to justice!"

"Gregg, we're not cops." Bea pointed out.

"We killed those weirdos in the mine. We're basically cops."

"That's not how being a cop works," Bea muttered. "That's the opposite of how being a cop works."

Gregg rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It's a lead. Now let's go out to the Food Donkey and find Levy." He crammed the bong into his leather jacket. The top of the pipe poked out of the neck hole.

There was no way this wasn't going to end badly.

Bea wasn't in the habit of hiking out to the Food Donkey. If she was, she probably would have felt like the trek took a bit longer than it normally would. The whole way there, she was terrified someone would notice the green bong poking out of Gregg's jacket.

To her surprise, though, no one seemed to notice. Even in Possum Springs, everyone was busy with their own lives.

"So," Gregg said as they made their way past the Clik Clak, "you and Angus have been friends for a while, right?"

"Since, like, 8th grade, yeah," Bea said. Then, she chuckled. "To be honest, I was kinda surprised when you two started dating. Like, you're complete opposites in a lot of ways. No offense."

"You're really worried about offending me, huh?" Gregg asked. "Don't sweat it. He's big and cool, I'm small and scrappy. He's a super genius, I'm… Gregg."

Bea frowned, stopping in her tracks. Gregg stopped alongside her. "I don't think Angus would agree with that. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Gregg laughed at that. It was a sad bark of a laugh. They continued walking along the black tar of the parking lot. The two turned the corner around the Food Donkey, making their way to the back. Bea was beginning to notice the faint smell of glue.

"Man, it's my second time seeing Levy in less than a week," Gregg muttered.

"Who is Levy, anyway?" Bea asked. She hadn't always socialized with the same people as Gregg and Mae. She'd known Casey, sort of; mostly through his reputation as a troublemaker. But Levy? Bea didn't remember anyone named Levy.

"Eh. If you don't know him, you don't know him," Gregg replied. "Thanks for coming with me, by the way. Kinda bored without Angus or Mae."

"I still can't believe Angus's brother makes him visit their mom," Bea muttered. "Like, I get he's trying to do be, like, a bigger person and all, but—"

"There's a lot about Angus's brother I don't get," Gregg said. "Let's leave it at that. I don't hate the guy, but… yeah. I feel like it'd be better if he just left Angus alone."

Bea didn't know if she entirely agreed with that. She'd met Angus's brother once or twice. Still, Gregg did have a point; he needed to stop dragging Angus along to meet with toxic people from his past.

They were behind the Food Donkey now. While the front was simply abandoned, the back was a mess. It was covered in graffiti. A pair of half-filled dumpsters were lined out along the back. Two people were huddled between the dumpsters, relaxing.

Bea recognized one of them. And she was very confused.

"Mae?" Bea called out as they approached the dumpsters.

Mae waved cheerfully at Bea, a smile on her face. "Hey, kids."

"Mae?!" Gregg yelled a bit too loud. "What are you doing here, Mae?"

Mae blinked. Her smile was replaced with a puzzled frown. "What? Dude, you told me to—"

"Hey, Levy, what's this bong?!" Gregg practically screamed.

The huddled up figure in the green hoodie looked up at Gregg. He looked like a mess. His eyes were baggy and lifeless. He looked like he hadn't shaved in months. Also, he smelled like glue. Like, really badly.

"Hey, Craig," he said. Then, he looked at Bea. "Hey, Steve."

It took Bea a moment to figure out that she'd somehow been confused with Steve Scriggins. She and Steve didn't look anything alike. How did you make a mistake like that? The guy was clearly out of it, but still. Weird.

While Gregg fished the bong out of his jacket, Bea exchanged a confused look with Mae. Her oldest friend could only shrug. It seemed like she was as confused as Beatrice.

"Hey, man," Gregg said, "we found this bong at the Party Barn. Someone stole our shit, and—"

"Wait, what?!" Mae blurted out. "The instruments were stolen? When? Who? Why?"

"That's what we're trying to find out," Bea said. "Apparently."

Levy, meanwhile, was transfixed on the bong. Well, not transfixed. But his glazed over little eyes were pretty focused on it. The stoner reached his arm up and wiped his nose off on his sleeve. Slowly, he stood up, and reached out his hand to take the bong. When he wasn't curled up with his knees to his chest, Bea was surprised by how tall he was.

"I saw a bong like this up in Bright Harbor once," Levy said. He turned it over in his hands with surprising delicateness. "Shit's legal there, man. Dunno whose it is, though. Sorry, Craig."

"It's Gregg," Craig said.

"Weed's legal in Bright Harbor?" Mae asked. "Whoa, wait, is that why you guys are moving there?"

Gregg stared blankly at Mae. "No, dude. I already told you why we're moving. It isn't for the weed."

"You don't gotta be ashamed, man," Levy said, handing the bong back to Gregg. "I'd move to where it's legal if I could afford to. You and your dude will probably have a lot of fun in Bright Harbor."

"Yeah," Mae said. "You'll have fun smoking pot and getting sheep tattoos."

At times like this, Bea honestly couldn't tell if Mae was joking or not. She sincerely hoped she was. Mae seemed to misunderstand a lot of stuff a lot of the time, though. It was like a weird gift she had. Although she wouldn't put it past Gregg to get a second sheep tattoo.

Gregg stuffed the bong back into his jacket. He had a serious expression on his face. In fact, it was a little too serious. Like he was trying too hard. "Look, the culprit left the bong at the scene of the crime. Can you tell us anything?"

Levy sniffed, pausing to scratch his nose. "I dunno, man. I mean, I'm pretty knowledgeable about weed culture, and I can tell you for a fact that people don't just carry bongs with them all over the place."

"Oh, hey, that's what I thought," Bea said.

Levy looked at her as if he'd completely forgotten she was there. He blinked a few times, and then continued. "Uh, yeah. Okay. Anyway, it might've been one of the folks off the train or something. I dunno."

"This is garbage!" Mae shouted, throwing her hands up into the air. Bea looked over at Gregg. She expected him to be similarly upset. Instead, though, Gregg had a much harder-to-read expression. Gregg's eyes flicked from Mae, to Bea, and for a moment he looked caught off guard.

"Extreme garbage, yeah," Gregg said. "Man, I'm so upset. I just wanna kick a tree." He nodded, slowly. "We should all go get pizza so I'm not mad anymore."

What was it with everyone in Bea's circle of friends and solving their problems with pizza? "I seriously think we should go tell the cops, Gregg," Bea said. "It might not be too late for them to do something."

Mae winced. Bea had a good feeling she knew why. "If you guys are gonna talk to the cops, I think I'll pass. I feel weird around cops ever since last year."

Levy nodded, seemingly in agreement. "Yeah, I don't like cops. I can't come with you guys."

Bea opened her mouth to tell Levy that this didn't involve him, so they hadn't really expected him to come along. But there probably wasn't any point. Levy seemed like he just kind of did things.

"We'll probably find some cops at the Clik Clak," Gregg insisted. "Anyway, we gotta carbo load if we're gonna report a crime to the cops. Need some cheesey pizza in our bellies. Cops won't respect us otherwise."

"Nothing you just said made sense," Bea said.

"Yeah," Mae said slowly. "But, I mean, all this talk about cheese has me all hungry for some pizz." Mae paused. "Er, I'm calling pizza 'pizz' now," she clarified.

"No, we all got that," Bea assured. She sighed. Why were her friends like this? She loved them, more or less, but still. It was like rounding up a bunch of children, and she and Angus were the parents.

No. Wait. That analogy didn't really work, because Angus was in a relationship with one of their adult children. This comparison was getting kind of gross. Bea decided to drop it.

"Fine," she sighed. "Pizza is fine. But if the cops can't find Gregg's instruments, it's you guys' fault."

Gregg threw up his arms and made a strange howling noise. Bea had heard him make it before. She figured it was some sort of in joke between Mae and Gregg. Either that, or Gregg thought he was a werewolf. Bea didn't think the second one was too likely, but Gregg was unpredictable like that.

Anyway, even if Bea wouldn't admit it, she was starting to crave pizza too.

"… And, like, at the bottom is the worst pizza, but everything else is still really good!"

The group had just finished eating their first slices, and Gregg was finishing up his explanation of the pizza scale. It had come up when Levy had complained about the pizza. He was fairly opinionated for a guy who'd followed them to a diner without asking.

To be fair, though, he at least had money to pay for some of the pizza. That was more than Mae could contribute. And she'd actually been invited.

Bea still wasn't sure why they were eating pizza instead of going to the cops. Sure, Gregg was a little impulsive, but still. Even Mae seemed a little on edge as she helped herself to one of Gregg's leftover crusts.

Meanwhile, Gregg was acting like nothing was wrong. In fact, he was fairly chipper. Out of the four people at the table, he was in the best mood, no questions asked. Mae was on edge, and Levy seemed just kind of… bleh.

"So," Bea said, trying to change the topic of conversation, "Gregg, you guys are going apartment hunting soon, right?"

There was an immediate shift in mood at the table. Gregg somehow got even more excited. Talking about the move always seemed to cheer him up. Mae, meanwhile, had an uncomfortable look on her face. She wasn't happy about Gregg moving; or, at least, she was conflicted. She didn't do a good job at hiding it.

Levy remained completely neutral as he ate a slice of pizza, crust-first.

"Oh, yeah. We're staying in some dumpy motel outside of town while we go searching." Gregg's eyes lit up. "Oh! You guys should tell me what you want! I'll bring you souvenirs!"

"I'd like some saltwater taffy," Levy said.

"Uh… I wasn't really asking you, but okay. I'll keep it in mind, dude."

"Do they have any places that sell, like, samurai swords?" Mae asked. Her mood had turned around a bit. Samurai swords tended to do that.

"Mae, I can't afford a samurai sword. If I could, the apartment would be filled with them," Gregg said.

"Oh." Mae frowned. "Alright, I'll take, like, a shirt, or whatever."

"I'm good more or less," Bea said. "You guys don't need to get anything for me."

"Oh, boo," Gregg said. "Live a little, girl. Jeez."

"Hey, I'm coming down, and I'm starting to realize you aren't Steve," Levy said, as if this was some major revelation. Actually, for him, it probably was.

No one seemed to know what to say to that. They just kept eating. Eventually, when they were done with the pizza, Mae spoke up. "Hey, Gregg," she said, "Why'd you tell me to wait for you behind the Food Donkey? I kinda wanted to avoid that place after last time."

That threw Bea for a loop, and raised a couple of red flags. "What?" She said. "Gregg told me you were off hanging with Germ or something."

Mae looked at Bea as if she'd just grown another head. "Uh, no?" She said. "I haven't even seen Germ today. He wasn't hanging out in the parking lot or anything."

Gregg wasted no time in changing the flow of the conversation. "So, Bea, how's the Pickaxe? Still killing you?"

Bea frowned at Gregg. "Don't change the conversation," she said. "Why did you lie about Mae hanging out with Germ?"

Gregg's eyes darted from Mae, to Bea. He looked nervous. Bea got the feeling that Gregg wasn't a great liar. That made sense; he was a pretty genuine guy. The problem was, Bea had no idea why he was lying.

Thankfully, Levy saved the day for Gregg by blurting something surprising out.

"Hey, so your stuff getting stolen reminded me of something," he said. "Did you guys know Possum Springs had a cat burglar in the 20's? Like, during Prohibition and shit."

Levy's sudden broaching of the subject distracted Bea from her suspicion. She'd remembered hearing something like this when she visited the historical society building back in high school. What surprised her was that Levy knew about it.

"A cat burglar?" Mae asked. "Like, the kind with a whip who flips through lasers?"

"Yeah, but it was the 20's, so the lasers probably weren't super-advanced," Levy said. "But back in the 20's, there were a bunch of dudes making moonshine up here. And I guess someone decided to, like, capitalize on that and steal shit."

"Whoa, that's cool," Gregg said. His nervousness was gone, replaced by sincere awe. "So, Possum Springs had some sort of weird super thief?"

"I mean, no," Levy said. "He stole shit for two years, but eventually someone living up in the hills shot him. Turns out he was some homeless dude from off the tracks. He buried everything he stole up near Possum Jump."

"Okay, I didn't know that part," Bea said. "Why'd he bury the stuff?"

Levy shrugged. For once, he didn't look like a stoner. He looked like a normal dude. A normal dude who happened to do drugs, but still. "I dunno, man. Shit's weird. Like, I think every town in the world is sitting on a crockpot of weird shit. And, like, if you dig deep enough, you'll find that crockpot."

"Wait," Mae said. "I'm confused. This guy buried crockpots?"

"I know a lot of stuff about weird shit in Possum Springs," Levy said. "Like, the Deep Hollow Hollerers, the town's secret society, Little Joe. It's all just interesting, you know?"

"I can kinda get that," Bea said.

"Yeah, Bea's a history nerd," Mae commented.

"I'm really only into history when someone dies or goes missing," Levy explained. "But that's, like, most of history, because most people die."

Bea blinked. "'Most people?'" She repeated.

"I don't know everything," Levy said.

That much was pretty obvious.

After dinner was done, it was time for everyone to head home. Mae had gone walking off on her own, and Levy had just sort of slipped away at some point after the meal. It was down to Bea and Gregg again. Since their homes were in the same direction, they were more or less caught in a conversation.

"Well, today turned out a lot more weird than I expected," Bea sighed. She was trying to light up the new cigarette she had placed between her lips. She was grateful it was staying brighter longer during the day. In winter and fall, when the dark came early, she sometimes had trouble switching on the lighter.

"I dunno," Gregg said. "I think by now we've all had much weirder nights."

Bea nodded. The orange flame sprung from her lighter, and soon the end of her cigarette had a healthy glow. God, she'd needed that. "Mhmm," she said. "I guess this night doesn't even rank in my top ten weird nights. Sorry we didn't figure out who stole your instruments, though."

"Oh, I did that," Gregg said casually.

Bea stopped in the middle of the sidewalk while Gregg continued walking. He stopped in front of her, and turned with a sheepish grin on his face. They were right outside the Snack Falcon; inside, a woman was frantically ringing up an insane number of bags of chips.

"What?" Bea asked. "Wait, so this whole thing was some stupid prank?!"

"No, dude," Gregg assured. "It wasn't a prank. It was a ploy."

Bea wasn't sure how angry to be. On the one hand, her time had been wasted. On the other hand, all she'd really lost was a few bucks spent on pizza. So, okay, Bea wasn't really angry. She was more… flabbergasted. That was a good word for it.

"Why?" Bea asked. "Like, seriously, Gregg. What the hell? I know you do a lot of wacky shit and get away with it, but this was really, really dumb."

Gregg chuckled, and shrugged. "I dunno," he said. "You and me never really hang out. I kinda wanted to, like, bond before me and Angus moved."

That caught Bea off-guard. She wasn't sure if that was sweet, or just really misguided. Probably both? Gregg was kind of misguided in general like that. Weird guy. "You couldn't have just asked me to hang out?" She asked.

"I got the feeling you'd, like, be busy or something," Gregg said. "I mean, if it wasn't for Angus, would you ever even bother hanging with me?"

Bea knew the answer to that question. She didn't really want to answer it, though. Gregg was a nice guy, she knew that. Despite her concerns about his relationship with Angus, she didn't have a problem with Gregg. But she and him were nearly complete opposites.

"So, I came up with a bogus emergency to get you to hang with me," Gregg said. "I stashed the instruments in my apartment, and set it up so we'd run into Mae because I knew you'd hang out longer if she was around."

Bea blinked. "How much thought did you put into this?"

"I mean, as much thought as I put into other things," Gregg said.

That didn't really explain anything.

"Okay, Gregg," Bea said, "I get that you thought that this was, like, a fun, quirky thing, but if you stop to think about it, it was kind of manipulative."

Gregg stared at Bea blankly. Then, a look of realization spread on his face, followed by an expression of shame. "Oh, shit," he said. "Yeah. Wow. This was kind of not a great thing to do, huh?"

"Yeah, like, I'm glad you want to be better friends, but if I didn't know you, Gregg, I'd punch you right in your jaw," Bea said.

Gregg nodded slowly. "Jeez," he muttered. "Yeah, sorry, Bea. I don't know why I do things sometimes. Like, I just get ideas, and I wanna do them. You know?"

"I kinda got that impression," Bea said. She could feel herself calming down a bit. The cigarette was helping. Plus, Gregg was genuinely apologetic.

"Tell you what," Bea continued. "Next time you want to hang out, maybe you could just ask me. And maybe don't ever pull a stunt like this ever again."

"Don't gotta tell me twice," Gregg said with a laugh.

And he never, ever did.