#BUT MARATHONING HALF THE ANIME MEANT I HAD A LOT OF THOUGHTS OF FEELINGS

[blackidyll]

TWEWY anon is accurate BC "brain empty only twewy" is basically my MO nowadays lmao. I'm glad you like my rambling about twewy though XD

DHDHHDHD SAME I was so hyper I totally missed the ending introducing the new twink the first time and only caught it when I watched a (calmer) repeat. I saw someone guessing it was older Joshua and I was like DID YOU EVEN SEE THE JOSHUA POSE EARLIER OFC NEW TWINK ISN'T JOSH. Also my brain SOMEHOW completely skipped over the demo announcement LIKE! I HAVE A SWITCH! I CAN PLAY NEOTWEWY IN TWO DAYS!! DOES NOT COMPUTE (it's out today and I'm boutta play it as I'm typing this lol, apparently there's a demo for play too) the hype carries over straight from the last ep of the anime which also came out today (did you watch it? I still can't believe Josh actually ADMITTED, OUT LOUD on HIS OWN WILL that he changed his mind BC of Neku) which is a smart strategy to keep the attention on TWEWY until the release date.

Tbh I'm more partial to Conductor Neku but Ur right in that Producer!Neku would be more likely to be able do stuff unnoticed...as much as the "Legendary Neku" can go unnoticed lmao, I can't believe he's basically a Reaper's Game legend nowadays XD I guess surviving the game three weeks in a row builds you a reputation of being metal as hell WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE NEKU /IS/ METAL AS HELL FOR SURVIVING THAT. Also I'm starting to believe that hoodie!Neku is not actually Neku and a different person BC although Rindo calls out to him as though he's Neku when DEFINITELY NEKU appears he's like "who are you" and I'm like AREN'T YOU TEAM WITH MINAMIMOTO?? HE KNOWS NEKU, GO GET HIM SO HE CAN CLEAR THIS UP FOR US!!! There's too many mysteries this month of wait is gonna END ME I swear

twewy anon it is <3 and i absolutely love twewy rambling and so your asks are such a joy!

[Obligatory THERE ARE LOTS OF SPOILERS AFTER THIS warning because the last episode only came out a while ago]

see that threw me off because THERE IS THE JOSHUA POSE but then they show that person (NEW TWINK is hilarious omg) and I'm like NO WAY IT IS HIM, but then the silver hair and the violet eyes and the dressing style and the way he speaks and also the fact that canonically the Composer always look younger when he's downtuned and not in his glowy form and Neku dresses differently so maybe Josh changed his hairstyle?????? It's not out of character for him to just casually break the rules and drop by and cryptically speak to Players? (my other thought after ten million bouncing between IT'S HIM/IT'S NOT HIM is that maybe that's the personification of Shibuya??? CUZ TWINK BOY LOOKS LIKE SOME MIX OF JOSHUA AND NEKU but that would be a weird direction to go...)

I'M SURE THERE ARE RED HERRINGS EVERYWHERE IN THE TRAILER but they could still both be Neku, if super glowy Neku saving Rindo is the first time they met, and only later in the game does the scene with Tsugumi and Neku's confrontation take place (so Rindo recognizes him from there). It kind of explains the clothing change too, like Neku (dressed in nice Gatto Nero) reveals his presence/identity to save Rindo, then has to change to these hoodies to go undercover until he goes to confront Tsugumi?????? (ALSO I JUST HAD A THOUGHT WHICH IS what if Tsugumi was Shinjuku's Composer??? who is now demoted to Player status, it would explain why she's so weird after her ward's been destroyed and maybe why Neku's going after her ANYWAY THIS IS FARFETCHED BUT WHY NOT SPECULATION IS ALL WE HAVEEEEEEEEEEE).

Also Minamimoto is just UNIVERSALLY UNHELPFUL TO OTHER PEOPLE like I bet if Rindo asked about Neku he'd just sprout a million math analogies that Rindo can't understand LOL

Conductor!Neku does absolutely make sense since he defeated Kitaniji; I'm mainly partial to Producer!Neku because I can't see Neku taking orders from Joshua XDDDDDD And I think it's great that Neku has legend status in the UG, because truly he's the main reason why the ward still exists LOL

and to answer your question YES I DID A CRAZY MARATHON TO FINISH OFF THE ANIME please indulge me I have a lot of thoughts about that last episode? I like a lot of things about it and usually I understand the changes that they made to the anime. But I really really really wish they included Neku's speech/soliloquy to Joshua after he is brought back to life and before going to Hachiko. It's such a huge and impactful scene in the game. Like, Neku's one "I trust you" line DOES NOT COMPARE TO THE ENTIRE SPEECH WHERE HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE'S BEEN CHANGED AND HE CAN'T FORGIVE JOSHUA BUT HE TRUSTS HIM AND MAINLY!!!!!! MAINLY!!!!!!!! INVITES JOSHUA TO MEET UP WITH THE REST OF THE CREW. THAT'S ALL MISSING WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

Like during the Kitaniji fight I'm yelling "YOU ARE MISSING ONE OF YOUR PARTNERS NEKU" but fine I get why Joshua didn't show up (although I very much miss "Megumi, I'm back," and Joshua's final conversation with Kitaniji because there's a lot of mutual respect there but :( Kitaniji just gets Erased in the anime). The confrontation in the anime feels so much less personal on Neku's front - the game sets up that despite all of Neku's mistrust, he finds himself relating to Joshua and befriending him, and at the very end he couldn't kill his friend; in the anime it just feels like Neku's just being a typical hero and doing the "right" thing that he can't kill someone and chooses to trust them instead (that someone could be anyone), and that's matched by the fact that he does not consider Joshua AT ALL after getting reincarnated, whereas in the game it is super personal to Neku, and he is so emotional when he wakes up on the Scramble Crossing, and the fact that he ACTUALLY INVITES JOSHUA TO JOIN THEM shows he sees and treats Joshua as an individual and a person and a friend, as opposed to the Composer position/pedestal that everyone puts him on..........

I have a lot of feelings about Joshua, and Joshua and Neku's partnership in the game, and I very much hope that NEO is 100% based on the game and not the anime because the dynamics are so different :( Like I feel the anime HAD to spell out the whole "Yes I changed my mind because of Neku" for Joshua whereas in the game we didn't really need it explicitly said, it was ALL in Neku's actions and Joshua's reaction to those actions and...

BUT ANYWAY NEO:TWEWY IS A NEW GAME and i'm so excited for you getting to play the demo!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you are super enjoying it, it's been SO LONG since we've been waiting for a sequel and it's kind of blowing my mind that you can play!! it!!! and revisit new Shibuya!!! One month to gooooooooooooo!!

[obeiii-mee]

Hey there! Love your writing. What about MC spending a whole day with just one of the brothers? Like you know, if the brothers were deciding what to do? Sorry if it’s too boring and romantic haha, I’m a lost case, I desperately need that night walks with Satan and working out with Beel in my life haha. Thanks xx

Same though. I love writing just typical HCs with the bros during date night or something. And I’m currently writing a few angst HCs so I really needed this too lmao. I hope you don’t mind these not being too long. I hope this satisfies you lol.

Enjoy!

——————————

The Brothers Spending a Whole Day with MC:

Lucifer:

-Mr. Prideful doesn’t take many days off

-But when he’s with you, he really feels like he can unwind properly

-Lucifer loves going on walks with you tbh

-He feels like it’s a nice break from all of his office work and meetings

-Sometimes the two of you end up in Majolish or a restaurant

-He definitely has a thing for spoiling you on days like these, because he feels he doesn’t appreciate you enough otherwise

-Like when he yells at both you and Mammon for doing stupid shit around Lord Diavolo

-The two of you could walk through the whole of DevilDom hand in hand if you had more hours in the day

-I see Lucifer as a bit traditional when it comes to dating so it’s obvious you’ll have movie dates and everything

-But a day off for him? With you? Away from his brothers, all of their chaos and the never ending attention his paperwork needs?

-It feels like he’s in the Celestial Realm all over again

-He does love you

-His past just doesn’t let him express his affection towards you very well

Mammon:

-If the two of you could spend the whole day together, there are only three places you could be at: Majolish, the casino or trying to make money for Mammon’s debts somewhere

-But it doesn’t really matter for him

-He could be stuck in a broom closet with you and still be happy (though he wouldn’t admit it)

-Spending a day with just him is bound to end in tears to be honest, on his part usually

-Because everything is going well and you’re having fun

-“Ah shit!”

-“Mammon you OK? What happened?”

-“I accidentally sold Lucifer’s gloves for 50000 Grimm!”

-How does one accidentally sell something?

-So he get a bit of an earful for that

-Other than that, being with the second eldest is crazy enough as it is

-You may have lost all that money at the casino but for the first time in a while, Mammon didn’t care that much

-Because you were there and laughing with him about how stupid both of you were

-You guys hit as many shops as possible and just generally have a messy, fun time together

-He often ends these days saying something like “You should be grateful that THE GREAT MAMMON agreed to let you tag along with him today.”

-But just kiss him on the cheek and he will shut up. For like hours. He’ll be too flushed to even look you in the eye

-He really wants to spend another day out with his human

Levi:

-Welp, life of a shut-in otaku

-It should be of no surprise that the two of you spend most of your time in his room

-It’s just the one place he’s most comfortable in and having you there makes it so much better

-Anime’s and video games are a must obviously

-But he loves doing movie marathons with you too (while loudly complaining the movie sucks and that you’re a normie for choosing it. Which means he likes it)

-Maybe a few good hours of him ranting about TSL because it’s Levi

-So the chances of you guys getting any sleep on said day are slim to none

-Also, if you agree to go to conventions with him, he will die of happiness

-On the rare occasion that he does go outside, he’s only out there because you went with him so that should tell you how much he loves you

-But most of the time you’re locked in his room to the point where Luci dearest has to come along and drag you the fuck to breakfast

-Ah, true love~~

Satan:

-I mean, this one should be pretty obvious too

-If he doesn’t enjoy dates in the library, then is he really Satan? (I never thought a sentence like that would ever be typed)

-Most of the time it ends with him reading to you because his voice is sO bEAutIful and you just melt when you hear it

-I will forever hc that he makes sound effects while reading too so imagine that

-You two don’t always get the chance to spend a whole day together

-But he tries to check in on you at least once a day

-*Cue romantic run through the house of Lamentation, trying to find you so he can gossip and bitch about Lucifer*

-Walks with him are very common too

-They usually take place at night, because he’s a sap and he read too many romance books and damn it kiss him already

-He would hold an umbreally over you if it started raining and everything

-Satan takes these moments to chat to you about anything, he just wants to appreciate you being there

-You guys made out several times while on these ‘walks’ ngl skskevshskbeuensb

-One time, you showed him a cat cáfe in the human realm and he went nuts

-Safe to say you’ve been there more times than I care to count, most of which were without permission

-A day with him can either go extremely calmly and end with you guys falling asleep on each other in his room or escalate to either pranking Lucifer or...steamier stuff

-Haha if anyone ever mentions he’s a cheesy bastard, they’re dead before they can say their prayers

-Except you, you get the pass on this one, tease him as much as you want

Asmo:

-Finally, he gets to have you all to himself without any of his brothers cockblocking him all the time~ (same tbh)

-The whole day would be planned from head to toe in activities and events

-It would start with some sort of makeover in the morning (getting your nails done, doing hairstyles, skin routine etc.)

-Then it would move on to some serious shopping sprees where he basically buys everything that he deems to be cute

-They’re for you 100% tho

-The day usually ends with you getting dragged to parties and clubs because Asmo can’t go a day without speaking to other people

-By the time you get home, you’re almost knocked out cold and carrying several bags full of clothes and shit

-But you can never say you didn’t enjoy yourself on these days

-Having Asmo around is exhilarating and somehow, even if crowds happen to not be your thing, it’s still really easy to have fun anyway

-There are times when the two of you stay at home and do each other’s nails and everything

-And you two are very fond of these sort of dates as well

-Of course, all of this assuming he won’t try to seduce you and get in your pants all day

-Turns our Mammon is somehow telepathically connected to you and rushes over any time this happens

-So much for not being cockblocked I guess

-He always switches things up as well which is usually very pleasant because you don’t visit the same shops or clubs every day

-Just be back by midnight or you’ll have your asses handed back to you otherwise

Beel:

-Beel loves you

-Beel loves food

-If those two happen to be in the same room, he might as well die peacefully

-It’s all he ever asked for (especially if Belphie is there too)

-Half of the day is spent at either Hell’s Kitchen or in your kitchen at home

-For him, the food always tastes better when you’re there so if you’re willing to go, then he’ll be like a cheerful puppy the whole time (how many times have I compared Beel to a puppy lmao)

-The other half of the day is spent training

-Work out sessions are important to him and he’s more than happy to let you join in

-If anything, you’ll be on his back as he does his push ups even though you’re not that heavy to him

-It sort of warms that demon heart of his because you’re always there handing him towels and water after he’s finished

-And you always have snacks prepared too which is wonderful really

-Kudos for being able to hide them from him the whole time

-It’s also not that surprising to know that you, Beel and Belphie hang out a lot

-So these days often mean that Belphegor tags along with you guys everywhere

-You won’t notice him tho, believe me, he’ll just stay attached to Beel’s back and sleep the whole time

-If he gets to spend a day with his loved ones, then Beel can honestly not ask for more

Belphie:

-“Belphie...?”

-“Yes MC?”

-“Is.....is that a pillow fort that’s almost as big as the attic?”

-“It is indeed.”

-“Why?”

-“Why not?”

-Tbh it would be a miracle if you two didn’t sleep the whole day

-But if he had to go somewhere with you

-It would be anywhere

-Much like Mammon, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the evironment as long as you’re there

-Chances are, however, that he will sneak you two to the human world a few times in secret

-He still insists he hates humans but truth is, he misses them and their realm

-Going back there, without permission the same way he did all those centuries ago, was like a breath of fresh air

-You guys would be chilling at a park in the human realm, probably make small picnic or something

-Belphie, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, loves these dates and would kill anything on his path if it meant he gets to be in your arms while taking a nap in the human world

-He invites Beel along too which makes everything so much better for him

-He will just fall asleep on you while you run your fingers through his hair

-Belphie is so warm too so it’s likely you won’t stay awake for long either

-Poor Beel has to carry both back to DevilDom but he does it anyway without complaining >:(

-He knows that he isn’t allowed to come up here and that he should stop these dates before Lucifer finds out

-But being out here with you brings him an irreplaceable meaning and you’re so soft and gentle, he can’t resist cuddling into you

-Also he doesn’t give a shit what Lucifer thinks

(Idk why my writing is so bad in this post, it kinda feels like I forced myself to write it and maybe that’s why..? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my mess of HCs)

Al~

[theprettyinthemundane]

Greek Culture and Why It’s Essential to Better Understanding the Greek Gods (Examining Pan as an Example)

                 Everyone knows the Greek gods are Greek, but what does that mean to us? I think that understanding the culture around the Greek gods is extremely helpful for understanding them better and I’d like to use the Greek god Pan as an example to illustrate just how important I think this is. Greek culture (both ancient and modern) is just as interesting and worth studying too, which is another reason I wanted to talk about it.

                A quick note: The ancient word was incredibly diverse and covered a long period of time. Even between cities practices, myths, and views could be very different, so it is important to point out that there is no “one way” to see most things, even though there are some general things people do agree on. Even the genealogy of gods sometimes varied depending on location and gods themselves could be understood differently across Greece both in location and time (1, 2, 3, 4). Myths were often stories made to be entertaining, not to accurately and completely reflect how gods were seen in a religious sense, so the view of a god that a myth and religious text portrayed were often different. For some deities, understanding Greek culture better may make the difference between a loose group of unrelated domains vs a constellation of domains that paint a bigger, more cohesive picture of how they were viewed, like how something may be greater than the sum of its parts. This is how I think of Pan and his domains. Of course, it is also important to note that Pan is extremely complex, and this post is not meant to be comprehensive, just informative. With that said, let’s talk about the goat god Pan and Greek culture.

            Why Pan? Well, unlike many gods whose origins lay in mythical places, Pan’s origin is Arcadia, a region in the south of Greece (this region has changed since ancient times, but it remains as its own region) (1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) . Why does this matter? Because Pan was viewed as an Arcadian (god); even in Thebes and in Athens worshipers connected Pan to this region (1, 2, 4, 9, 10, 11). In other words, how the Greeks viewed Arcadia as a region and culture influenced how they viewed and understood Pan.

            Then first, we should ask, what is Arcadia?

(credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcadia)

(source: 12)

              Arcadia (Αρκαδία) is a mountainous region in the Peloponnese whose capital is Tripoli (Τρίπολη ) (12).  In ancient times it was seen as a place of harsh wilderness (forests, plains, glens) where most people were shepherds (1, 5). It was “out of the way”, “hard to reach”, even viewed as “spooky” (5) and “uncivilized” (1, 13). This is related to many, if not all of Pan’s domains. In fact, Pan was known as the “ruler of Arcadia” (1, 5, 13) and it was even said that,    

“The region was sometimes called Panland - in Greek, Pania. Pan was as rough as the country, half goat, half god…” (5)  

           Arcadia is the earliest center of Pan’s worship and it was done in formal sanctuaries (1,2, 14). After the Battle of Marathon in 490 BCE, Pan’s worship spread more widely to the rest of the Greek world (1, 6, 9). After this many people (in Thebes and Athens for example) worshiped Pan in grottos or caves (1, 2, 4, 10, 11). This difference actually reflects how people in those places connected Pan and Arcadia; for them, a cave or grotto  was a wild place, like Arcadia, and since they had few other “wild” spaces this space kept Pan and his connection to the natural world within their worship. A scholar on Pan noted that “his lodging (in a cave at the Acropolis) marks him as connected to origins”(1) and others have pointed out this as well (10, 11) . This makes it clear that this cultural connection was important for how they worshiped and thought of Pan.

The first example: Pan’s relation to music? That was related to Pan being Arcadian;

“The simple, moving music of the shepherds (from Arcadia) gained a wide appreciation over all the Greek world. In time, this pastoral … music began to inspire highly educated poets …” (13)

“The one quality that softened the brutishness of Arcadian life was music, whether performed by the goatherds or played by Pan”(13).

Music is a fundamental part of Pan and he has been called: “a lover of merry noise” (Homeric Hymn to Pan) “a most accomplished dancer, a god of noise and movement, beautiful dancer”, and a “lord of the dances of the gods” (1). Just as music was a big part of other Greeks viewed Arcadia, it was a big part of how people saw Pan; Pan was even said to have created the panpipes and music was an essential part of his cult (1, 14, 15). In fact, the idea that Pan could manifest as music and in natural sounds was popular at times (9, 11). This isn’t to say music was unique to Pan (it wasn’t) or that music was not used to worship other deities (it was) but that music was an essential part of how ancients understood Pan, so we should be aware of that and the potential significance it has.  

           Music was an essential part of Greek and Arcadian education, even according to Plato and Socrates (1, 16). While I do not study the classics, I do think that Pan’s connection to music is symbolic of something more than just “pretty sounds” although I do not feel confident enough in my understanding to make any specific connections to his other domains or aspects. Music was essential to the ancient Greeks and was thought to be important for character / personal development, it was thought to deeply affect the soul and I think this is also reflected in Epidaurus’ hymn to Pan;

“The Epidaurus Hymn reminds us that Pan's music and dance restore a threatened cohesion. Dance, laughter, and noise become, in the festival, signs of a recovered closeness (1).” (cohension was threatened by a recent war)

          Just as music was thought to affect people deeply, Pan also was associated with panic and mania (related to possession), which similarly has a strong affect on people spiritually and emotionally (1). If I were to make any connections between his musical domain and another domain, I would say that Pan’s domain of music seems connected to his domain of nature since his style of dance was called “animalistic”, he was called a “leaper” and for the fact that he was believed to be able to manifest himself in natural sounds, like was mentioned before (1, 9, 11).

A second example: Pan’s nature as a goat/shepherd and a god of fertility is reflective of Arcadia’s reliance on shepherding to sustain life: Pan has been called “divine-he-goat-shepherd”, “indispensable patron of fertility...” and “keeper and protector of the flocks” (1). Pan was a very positive figure because he was thought to help sustain life itself; as one scholar points out, Arcadia is “first and foremost a land fit for herding.” (1).  One noticeably unique thing about Pan compared to the other Greek gods is how he is part goat. Interestingly, Pan was first depicted as a he-goat standing upright, not as a satyr and it seems that Pan was only depicted as a satyr (at least widely) after his cult left Arcadia (1, 17). If one was not aware of how central goats were to Greek (especially Arcadian) society then this may seem random or superficial, but it clearly is not.

             Pan was a fertility god, but this domain is concerned with more than just lust and sex (even though these were important aspects of Pan) but also abundance both sexual and platonic; for example, the birth of twin goats (as opposed to a single goat) was attributed to Pan (1). Another example of this connection between sex and (platonic/ nonsexual) abundance is the description of the meaning of a dream where Pan and the dreamer have sex written by Atermidorus in his Interpretation of Dreams in the 2nd century CE:

“If he (Pan) gives someone something or has sexual intercourse with someone, it fortells great profit, especially if he does not weigh that person down” (18)

This theme of abundance and goats/fertility is related to Pan’s domain of rustic music as well: In a hymn found in the Palentine Anthology, a resource that showed the traditions of herdsmen and shepherds, one poem asks for Pan to play his pipes so that the she-goats might give them lots of milk;

“The poet here attributes to the god's music a power elsewhere expressed in the image of a sexual union with animals. The "divine message" (or "sacred voice": hieron phatin) of the syrinx brings about an abundance of milk. (1)”

            Pan’s domain of shepherding/goats is also related to his role as a god of hunting. Unlike Artemis, Pan’s domain of hunting was only concerned with the type of hunting shepherds would do, that is, hunting small game and hunting to protect the flock (1). Goats were also associated with hunting because mountain goats were hunted for sport (1). In fact, “Arcadians thought Pan responsible for the abundance, and correspondingly for the scarcity, of meat, whether obtained by hunting or by herding” (1). Without understanding this distinction someone might mistakenly think Pan and Artemis were interchangeable in hunting.

        Because we see such a concrete connection here drawn by an ancient Greek, Atermidorus, I think it is more than reasonable to say that the fertility domain was also connected to abundance more generally. Another example is in the story of how Artemis visited Pan in Arcadia and he gifted her hounds which he had bred himself (15, 19). Despite the mention of how the dogs had recently given birth, in this story Pan is “devoid of eroticism”, which further supports this connection between fertility and nonsexual abundance (19.). The hounds represent the fertility aspect of Pan (they recently gave birth) and platonic/non-sexual abundance (Pan gifted them to Artemis and as the author notes, the story is “devoid of eroticism”). Hunting (done by shepherds, associated with Pan) also served to protect the flock, protecting this abundance (1).

Conclusion: Without the context of Arcadia as Pan’s origin, it is hard to have as deep an understanding of him, which I think shows us why culture is also important to learn about.  Without this context people may misunderstand Pan’s domains of fertility/shepherding, hunting music, and nature as disconnected or random, however by understanding Pan’s cultural context (Arcadia / Greece) a clearer and more meaningful image can be seen. These elements are closely related and interrelated, which I think is important because seeing these domains as “somewhat connected” is significantly different than seeing them as “interconnected”.

Here’s a table to summarize what I think we can better understand about Pan with this knowledge:

A disclaimer: This isn’t meant to be all encompassing as Pan is an extremely complex god. I have only focused on the way Pan was viewed by some ancient Greeks, more was written about Pan later. Pan also was not simply a “positive”, or “friendly” god, he was also perceived as terrifying and that aspect of Pan shouldn’t be forgotten or underappreciated. This post was designed to show how important culture is and so I have focused on aspects of Pan that help us see this clearly. That said, I do feel I have touched on most of Pan’s major domains (fertility/shepherding/goats, hunting, music/dance, nature, and panic). I have tried to give a better sense of Pan using context, not take anything out of context, so if you think I have made a mistake or misunderstood anything then please let me know. I am not a classics student, so there is a chance I misinterpreted something along the way. This post serves two purposes: to demonstrate how Greek culture is important for understanding the Greek gods and to shed some more detailed light onto Pan (which requires the first bit). I also do not think everyone interested in Greek gods or mythology needs to write long posts like these, I just want to emphasize that thinking holistically is important. We should just be aware of how everything is interconnected and be open to learning more about different things that can help improve our understanding.

Citations:

1 : Borgeaud, P., & Atlass, K. (1988). The cult of Pan in ancient Greece (p. 58). Chicago: University of Chicago Press. ISBN 13: 9780226065953

2: Ogden, D. (Ed.). (2010). A companion to Greek religion. John Wiley & Sons.

3: Zolotnikova, O. A. (2017). Becoming Classical Artemis: A Glimpse at the Evolution of the Goddess as Traced in Ancient Arcadia. Journal of Arts and Humanities, 6(5), 08-20. Doi: 10.18533/journal.v6i4.1157

4: David Gilman Romano, & Mary E. Voyatzis. (2014). Mt. Lykaion Excavation and Survey Project, Part 1: The Upper Sanctuary. Hesperia: The Journal of the American School of Classical Studies at Athens, 83(4), 569-652. doi:10.2972/hesperia.83.4.0569 doi: 10.2972/hesperia.83.4.0569

5: WILLS, G. (1998). The Real Arcadia. The American Scholar, 67(3), 15-27. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from www.jstor.org/stable/41212784

6:  GARTZIOU-TATTI, A. (2013). GODS, HEROES, AND THE BATTLE OF MARATHON. Bulletin of the Institute of Classical Studies. Supplement, (124), 91-110. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from www.jstor.org/stable/44216258

7: Yioutsos, N. P. (2014). Pan Rituals of Ancient Greece: a multi-Sensory Body Experience. In Archaeoacoustıcs: The Archaeology of Sound, Publication of the 2014 Conference in Malta (Vol. 57).

8: Parker, R. (2011). Analyzing Greek Gods. In On Greek Religion (pp. 64-102). Ithaca; London: Cornell University Press. doi:10.7591/j.ctt7zgrm.7

9: Haldane, J. (1968). Pindar and Pan: Frs. 95-100 Snell. Phoenix, 22(1), 18-31. doi:10.2307/1087034

10: Yioutsos, N., Kamaris, G., Kaleris, K., Papadakos, C., & Mourjopoulos, J. (2018). Archaeoacoustic Research on Caves dedicated to Pan and the Nymphs in Attica, Greece.

11: Yioutsos NP. (2019) Pan Rituals of Ancient Greece Revisited. In: Büster L., Warmenbol E., Mlekuž D. (eds) Between Worlds. Springer, Cham. Doi: 10.1007/978-3-319-99022-4_7

12: Arcadia. The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica - https://www.britannica.com/place/Arcadia-region-Greece

13: Ruff, A. (2015). The Classical Origins of Arcadia. In Arcadian Visions: Pastoral Influences on Poetry, Painting and the Design of Landscape (pp. 1-14). Oxbow Books. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt19704rw.5 , eISBN: 978-1-909686-69-4

14: Yioutsos, N. P. (2014). Pan Rituals of Ancient Greece: a Multi-Sensory Body Experience. In Archaeoacoustıcs: The Archaeology of Sound, Publication of the 2014 Conference in Malta (Vol. 57).

15: Rinkevich, T. E. (1973). Comic structure in Theocritus 1-7 (Doctoral dissertation, The Ohio State University).

16: Stamou, L. (2002). Plato and Aristotle on music and music education: Lessons from ancient Greece. International Journal of Music Education, (1), 3-16.

17: Campbell, G. L. (Ed.). (2014). The Oxford handbook of animals in classical thought and life. Oxford Handbooks. DOI: 10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199589425.001.0001 , ISBN: 9780199589425

18: Stewart, C. (2002). Erotic Dreams and Nightmares from Antiquity to the Present. The Journal of the Royal Anthropological Institute, 8(2), 279-309. Retrieved May 31, 2020, from www.jstor.org/stable/3134476

19: Faulkner, A. (2013). Et in Arcadia Diana: An Encounter with Pan in Callimachus’ Hymn to Artemis. Classical Philology, 108(3), 223-234. doi:10.1086/672004

Homeric Hymn to Pan: http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0138%3Ahymn%3D19

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Short Cuts

So the reviews for Rapunzel’s Return are taking longer then expected and due to real life complications I’ve now fallen behind in my intended schedule. So in order to catch up, I’ll be doing a series of rapid-fire mini reviews of all the official shorts that the series released in addition to the usual reviews. 

Summary: Ten shorts were released throughout the three seasons of the show detailing Rapunzel’s misadventures in Corona. 

 Check Mate

Pascal tries to get Max to play chess with him, but the horse is too busy with guard duty to play. Pascal’s antics wind up causing a fire and Max must save him. 

This short, plus the later Unicorn-y short, and the episode Pascal’s Story pretty much confirms that chess is pascal’s favorite game. Shame that’s the only idiosyncrasy that the series gives besides being the conscious of the group that sometimes gives the other characters guilty looks.  

I said it before and I’ll say again, the animal sidekicks in the franchise don’t have enough personality to carry whole episodes by themselves, but shorts like this are ok and where things like this should have stayed.   

Prison Bake

Attila recounts how he used his baking skills to break his fellow pub thugs out of prison back before they met Rapunzel. 

This just raises so many questions. Why were they arrested? What was their punishment besides jail? Why weren’t they just re-arrested later after escaping? If they were all wanted criminals before meeting Raps then why did they try to call the guards during the movie to collect the reward money on Eugene’s head? Do we really think “crack-down on crime” Frederic would pardon them before Rapunzel’s return? How do we know they weren’t just framed given how shitty Corona’s legal system is? 

Like I just need a tiny bit more context show. Two to three minutes isn’t really long enough to set up conflicts. These shorts should have been more like five or six minutes really. 

Also Ludwig the Castle Cook is also just wasted. They built a model for him and hired a VA and everything and all he does is appear in this one short and nothing else. Like I think he makes a non-speaking cameo in The Alchemist Returns or something, but that’s it. It’s a clear mismanagement of resources.  

Make Me Smile

Rapunzel tries unsuccessfully to make Old Lady Crowley smile, but it’s not until she holds an honest conversation with the woman does she find a solution. 

This is best short out of the bunch, and not just cause it stars the great Pat Carol either. 

This is how Rapunzel should have been handled in the main series proper. Which is why I screen-grabbed this whole convo. It’s perfect. 

Rapunzel spent 18 years lock in a tower. Of course she doesn’t understand different perspectives from her own cause her development has been stunted. She’s compassionate but lacks empathy. So she has a hard time connecting with others, but once she slows down an actually takes the time to listen to people she is capable of learning. 

We needed more of this; just on a larger scale. Have Raps make mistakes, have people be annoyed with her or right angry when she messes up, and then have her learn. 

Why the series thought it was a good idea to have everyone kiss her royal arse instead while she dug in her heels and consendinly took charge of everything even while still screwing up, I’ll never know. 

Hare Peace

Feldspar asks Rapunzel to take care of his “precious”. Rapunzel thinks he means a pet rabbit, and is run ragged trying to keep up with it, but it turns out he was talking about his prized cabbage instead. 

These shorts overall work a lot better than the main show. They know what they are and don’t try to be anything else. Therefore they deliver what is promised competently. They’re nothing amazing nor groundbreaking and in truth I wouldn’t want a whole series of them, but I get the feeling this is what the head executives at Disney were expecting when they signed off on the show and not whatever mess the main series turned out to be. 

Night Bite

Rapunzel, Eugene, and the animals are out camping for the night and Max gets irritated by all the bugs. 

What doesn’t work so well is the placement of some of the shorts. This particular short aired during season two and indeed that would make sense given that they are camping out here. Which why would they do that if they were still in Corona... 

Yet some of the later shorts, which also aired during season two, clearly do take place in Corona debunking that theory. Just some context would be nice show, that’s all. 

Also this short is meh.. not bad, not, good, just there.  

Hiccup Fever

Rapunzel gets the hiccups and everyone in Corona seems to have advice on how to get rid of them, but only Eugene has the solution. 

I’d argue that this is the funniest of the shorts. I legit laughed out loud at some points which is rare. 

However it does sadly prove on thing. 

Rapunzel was always a shit girlfriend, even before season three. 

Being a douche to your boyfriend isn’t funny show. 

Snowball

Rapunzel and Pascal plan to have some fun in the snow and things go awry.   

So where and when is this exactly?

Unlike the other shorts, the context and setting for this one is paramount to whether or not Rapunzel is a simply lazy or a an outright dick. 

For you see, Rapunzel had never been outside in the show before Queen for a Day. Ergo, this can only take place during the latter half of season one or during season two. 

Now season two makes a lot of sense. They’re at some cabin in the woods that was never mentioned are seen on screen before and this did air during season two anyways. If that is the case then Raps just avoiding her planned road trip like always. 

However, the last short and the next two also aired during season two and all of those do take place in Corona during season one and even the wiki states that they were all meant to take place during season one in original concept. 

Yet if that is the case then Rapunzel is ignoring Varian right now and playing around in the thing that almost killed him... 

Oh and that still doesn’t explain where this cabin is. Is it the mountain retreat that the King and Queen were going to spend their anniversary at? 

What’s really mind boggling though is that they made this short in order to reuse the character models from Queen for a Day in order to save money, but then went and built this whole set that’s never seen outside of this short. 

Like seriously who was on charge of the budget decisions in the series? 

Hairdon't

Rapunzel offers to cut Eugene’s hair but then messes it up. She spends all day trying to stop Eugene from seeing his new do, but turns out the hairstyle becomes a hit with the Corona townspeople. 

Rapunzel seriously lucked out here and it borderlines on the main series style levels of BS. She asks Eugene not to get upset before he sees what she’s done and, guess what, he is rightly upset. 

Honestly the series needed to let Eugene get angry at Rapunzel for stuff. That’s what happens in relationships, you will make your partner mad at times and that’s ok. It’s all about how both of you handle that. 

We never get to see how Eugene and Rapunzel would handle a real ordinary conflict and not just magic/ex girlfriend shenanigans that don't end with them putting off talking about it. 

Even their best episodes in season two still are over conflicts that don’t have any immediate impact on their lives and are mostly hypotheticals to them, like kids or how other people should approach dating. And of course by season three Eugene is just reduced to a doormat. 

Unicorn-y

Rapunzel tries to help Vladimir find his missing prized unicorn figurine in this spoof of old detective movies. Turns out Max and Pascal had found it and were using it to play chess. 

Ok, first off, Eugene has the patience of a saint and deserves so much better than Raps and her bullcrap here. Same goes for Lance who is tied up as well during this scene. 

But also this is another short that needed to be more than three mins long. The “mystery” is over before it even starts and the film noir parody only barely has time register in the viewer’s mind and then it’s over with. 

Shorty’s Theme Song Takeover! 

The last of the shorts aired after the show had ended as part of the Disney Channel’s on going promotional gimmick “Theme Song Takeover!” 

Shorty finds Rapunzel’s journal and sings his own version of the show’s theme song, “Wind in my Beard”. 

It’s ok. 

All of Disney’s animated shows for the 2019/2020 line up has done one and some are funnier than than this and others not so. The Shorty one is pretty middle ground but what makes it work is that Rapunzel is completely oblivious to what’s going on and only Shorty, always the anomaly of the series, can perceive the fourth wall. Thus proving he was never really human. 

As for placement, we know it’s season three cause of Rapunzel’s dress and they’re mostly likely inside the Snuggly Duckling right now. So just slot it in wherever you see fit. 

Conclusion 

That’s it for the shorts. The rest of Rapunzel’s Return should be up later this week and then hopefully I’ll be all caught up in time to cover the next episode next week. 

[dizzydancingdreamer]

“First Lines” | Tag Game

Hey Y’all I have gotten tagged in this a few times— thank you so so much @auroracalisto @mikaelson-emma and, of course, @hellotvshowtrash— I haven’t had much time to read them and form coherant thoughts but expect some soon. 

So the rules are you post the opening lines to 20 of your most recent fics— or all the ones you have if you don’t have 20— and it kinda just shows who you are as a writer and it’s just fun!

I decided to include some WIP’s— and expose to everyone who is not @activist-af the sheer amount of fics that I start and then set aside. Please enjoy y’all I got a kick out of compiling this list!

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

“Barnes, you’re on protection detail.”

He must be dreaming— he must have fallen asleep with the tv on again. That’s been happening a lot lately; he’s trying to catch up on normal life. On all the shows and movies and music he’s missed throughout the years. He’s trying to catch up. Or maybe he’s just trying to drown out the silence. It doesn’t matter why, to be honest, all that matters is that he is asleep and what he is hearing and seeing are the workings of a bad dream. There was a marathon last night. Yeah, there was. Movies, a few of them. Something about bodyguards. He’s just dreaming about the movies. Right?

(WIP | Persephone’s Symphony | Bucky Barnes)

_

“Did you pack my dress!” A shrill voice assaults her eardrums as she scurries towards the door.

It comes from a tall, thin, young woman. Her face and fingers are boney, her blonde hair falling in perfect waves down her back. The faintest aroma of honeysuckles and violets wafts off her creamy skin. She is beautiful, her step sister Anna. At least in theory. The sneer on her cherry lips and the hatred in her cerulean eyes, unclouded and accusatory, can’t be hidden by any length of silky dress or ruby lipstick, though. She is ugly, even if just on the inside.

(Posted | The Servant and The Prince / Chapter One | Loki)

_

The ride to the capitol takes three gruelling days. Each night is spent at a different tavern. It is the same story each time; Estrid and Anna spend the night in a lavish bed and Y/n is left with the horses, curled under her thankfully baggy cloak. It is neither warm nor comfortable, sleeping on the bench seat of the carriage. She never really falls asleep, she only dozes in and out of consciousness. It is almost always interrupted by footsteps or the murmurs of animals or her own mostly empty stomach growling into the night. That one is twofold- usually her stomach is in so much nauseating pain that she cannot sleep but, on the off occasion she can, she is then awoken by the loud roars it makes.

(Posted | The Servant and The Prince / Chapter Two | Loki)

_

“Please Surtr.”

Her voice rings through his ears on a loop, the most beautiful and agonizing melody that he has surely ever heard. She must be magic- something strong and powerful and like nothing he has ever seen before. There is no other explanation. It had been magic when she appeared to him, literally falling into his lap as if out of thin air. He is the god of tricks but even he cannot do that- he cannot make women that smell like flower petals land in his arms at will. He wishes he could- more than anything he wishes he could pluck her out of his dreams and bring her back to him. But he cannot because that was not a trick. That was something else entirely.

(Posted | The Servant and The Prince / Chapter Three | Loki)

_

Y/n’s heart thunders as she gazes up at the glittering golden gates of the castle. If she was not so bogged down with bags she would throw a hand over her brow— a futile attempt to keep her eyes from burning out of their sockets. Do they really have to be this glittery? She thinks they are marvellous, that is not the problem. The problem is that she is not marvelous. Not in the slightest. Not worthy of such magnificent, splendid, rich architecture. She glances down at her simple dress— the loose green threads hanging from the side of the garment— she had meant to fix those— is this really where she must stay? Surely there must be a stable somewhere. A barn for animals like her.

(Posted | The Servant and The Prince / Chapter Four | Loki)

_

“On the balcony,” Frigga calls back, brushing her blonde hair over her shoulders. “We have company!” She adds, seemingly as an after thought— she is too busy pouring wine from a glass feeder into a beautifully ornate cup.

At least, Y/n thinks it is wine. She can smell the fermented berries— sweet and tangy and warming her nose as all wines she has encountered before have— only this wine is a pale violet shade. It is not an opaque rouge, not a barely there chartreuse. Nothing like what she has ever been able to get her hands on by way of bartering or shared celebration. Weddings and births. She takes a seat in one of the golden chairs, trying not to think about how out of her element she truly is. The little details are starting to show though. Not just extravagant pools and marble hallways. Even the food here is luxurious.

(WIP | The Servant and The Prince / Chapter Five | Loki)

_

She would have never thought it possible. Never. She’s the type to sit at home and crack open a good book. Maybe make a nice cup of tea. Lately she has been finding hibiscus tea to be a nice way to end the night. That’s besides the point, though. The point is that she is nothing like her older sister Jane. She is a dreamer, not a doer. Not a traveller.

Especially not a traveller of space— of foreign planets.

(WIP | Untitled | Loki)

_

“Are you heading home this weekend?” Lily twirls a strand of blonde hair between her fingers, “Mama told me there’s an event.”

Your best friend lays on your bed as opposed to her own, her legs dangling over the edge. Her eyes are closed, probably halfway to being asleep. It’s been this way since the two of you left for college three years ago, always more in your space than her own. You’re lucky that way, you have a best friend who would follow you across the country if you wanted her to. Honestly, you would do the same. Luckily, though, you decided on only two hours away away from home. Just far enough to find your footing. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

(Posted | Everything, Everywhere | The Mikaelson Boys)

_

“Get away from me, Kai!” Y/n snarls, pushing her way through the grill with a huffing witch on her heels.

She had been eating her meal- staring at her meal more like— and trying to ignore the constant buzz of her phone. He was incessant, texting her non— stop as if it would make it all better. After the thirtieth text she had turned her phone off, preferring to look at her food in silence. No text can erase his voice in her head. She means nothing to me.

“Not going to happen, kitten,” Kai purrs, his hand wrapping around her arm and tugging her to his chest, “you’re not going to ignore me.”

(WIP | Untitled | Kai Parker)

_

New Orleans isn’t all that it was cracked up to be she muses to herself as she winds her way through the tombs. They tower over her, shadowing her with the sins of so many people before her. They’re lonely. That’s all she can think, over and over again. They must be so lonely. There can’t possibly be enough people to visit each of them. There aren’t even any people to visit her, let alone thousands of lost souls. She laughs to herself, a cruel sound breaking through the crashing silence. She is a lost soul.

(WIP | Do You Have A Moment? | Kol Mikaelson)

_

A little bit outside the city lines of New Orleans, tucked precariously off highway 109, there stands a roadside market. It isn’t too far, nor is it too close; it’s just right, like the porridge in some half assed, uninspired fairytale. It’s nestled perfectly on the edge of the bayou, drawing in just enough business to keep the two girls running it in business. The jam is sweet, the ham is honeyed, and the women have smiles that look a little bit like rain in a drought: necessary for life but too much water on dry soil is a recipe for disaster. It’s all a little bit too perfect. Too clean cut and wholesome. But this isn’t a fairytale, after all. It’s the story of the girl who got away with it and the girl who helped her do it.

(WIP | Hey Tommy | The Mikaelsons)

_

The Salvatore house has always smelled the same; like oranges and rum. A lot of rum. It is a welcome scent, one that smells almost like home. It will never truly be home, those scents are already reserved in your very essence, but it’s close. You’ll always be happy to walk through their door. Today is no different.

(WIP | Forever and Always | The Mikaelsons)

_

Kol drags a hand through his hair, his eyes locked on the book in front of him. His eyes wander the page, the corner of his mouth lifting when he skims something particularly interesting. You, too, have a book in your hands but, unlike him, your focus is elsewhere. To be exact, your focus is four feet away, basking in the sun on the lap of one shirtless vamp.

(WIP | Best Friend Things / Part Two | Kol Mikaelson)

_

“So, love,” a pair of arms snake around your waist, pulling you into a warm chest, “these are the famous pumpkins?”

A familiar blonde head, the one you woke up to this morning, settles against your shoulder. He must be leaning significantly given the fact that he’s at least a good head taller than you. You break the rain spell you had been working on, laying your wand next to your pumpkin starts. That’s the beauty of magic, you can grow in any season. You turn to face Klaus, a soft smile on your face.

(WIP | Pumpkin / Harry Potter Universe AU | Klaus Mikaelson)

_

The salt clings to her sticky skin, her hair grainy and matted from the surf. Thunder rolls overhead, chasing her through The Cut like. It’s only half past noon but shadows layer the street, casting everything in a dusky gloom. The pavement smells sharp; the rain is coming and fast. She hikes her tote higher on her shoulder and wishes for a moment that she hadn’t dove for as many shells today. She feels like a beached whale with all the dead weight. Business is business, though, and the tourists go crazy for a handmade necklace.

(WIP | Thunderstorm Afternoons | Jj Maybank and John B. Routledge)

_

She shoves her key into the lock of the Smith’s beach house, turning it with an audible click and smiling when she pushes the door open to the smell of warm pizza and oranges. Try as the boys may, Mrs. Smith’s affinity for essential oils will always prevail over the mass amount of cheap pizza they consume on what is— unfortunately— the daily. She hauls her bag higher on her shoulder, closing the door behind her and thanking the heavens she remembered to pack some of the chicken her mother made for dinner on her way out the door. No Domino's tonight, thank you very much.

(WIP | Sleepovers | The Kook Boys)

_

“Y/n, darling, come here,” her mother’s sweet voice trickled over her from the front hall, “I have some people I want you to meet.”

She stepped into the hallway, coloured lights pouring over her. It was Christmas time, her favourite time, and everything was extravagantly decorated. Garland lined the grand staircase, there was a tree in almost every room, and, her favourite, holly strung in every doorway. Her house radiated magic, more so than usual, that is.

(WIP | Hufflepuff Princess | Draco Malfoy)

_

Her feet hit the pavement with careful clicks, her heels— while undeniably killer— a little loud for her taste: a product of her day spent in practice with the other debutante girls. She has to force herself to make her steps light. This isn’t New York, it’s Mystic Falls. Being a southern woman is not a choice; it’s an obligation. A prior commitment she agreed to before she was old enough to truly fathom what it meant. For the most part she loves it— the elegance and refinery, the teatime giggles and flouncing skirts— but the heels? That’s a hard no.

(WIP | Untitled | Kai Parker)

_

She sighs, her toes burying themselves in the carpet as her arms reach well past her head in a much needed stretch. Her room is dark, the only light coming from her cheap desk lamp. The pounding in her head, for once, isn’t enough to drown out anything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. None of this was supposed to happen, it wasn’t supposed to get this far. It was always just a game, wasn’t it? She runs a shaky hand through her hair, her knees wobbling slightly at the thought. Get it together, y/n.

(Posted | The Bet | Rafe Cameron)

_

Her bubblegum lip gloss attacks him from all the way across the café, cutting cleanly through the aroma of coffee and donuts and sending his heart racing at the obscenely sweet scent. He should hate it. No, scratch that, he shouldn’t think anything of it at all. It’s not in his nature to enjoy things- or to feel things at all, to be frank- but he can’t help it. The drugstore brand, wildly over-scented balm makes his head fuzzy like nothing else.

(Posted | Bubblegum Princess, Cherry Angel | Kai Parker)

_

I don’t really know who to tag because I haven’t been active these last few days so I am tagging people I have not seen do this yet and if you have just ignore me : @elijahs-wife @draconisxcaput @imaginearyparties @dumble-daddy 

[thebonerpit]

all i want is a room with a view [fic]

all i want is a room with a view

Teenker/Keenker, 3780 words. TW: non-consensual voyeurism. Read it on AO3 here!

This was 100% inspired by a nff video that I used to have linked here but I’m taking it out because maybe that’s stopping my post from showing up in tag searches?? Anyway if you want the link I will post it, just send an ask, because the dude looks so much like older Harley it’s insane. And he has a gorgeous dick.

“Tony’s inappropriate feelings for Harley and Peter lead him to spying on them via cameras in their rooms. He sees a whole lot more than he expected.”

Tony had been thinking about this for weeks. Mulling it over in his head, weighing the pros and cons… and funnily enough, not once did he question the morality of the whole thing. That, he knew. He knew it was wrong but he was going to do it anyway because… well, because he wanted to. Because he could. And because he knew this was the closest he was ever going to get to these two beautiful boys.

Harley and Peter had been staying at the complex for about two months now. It was summer, so both of them were out of school and were desperate to get as much time in the labs as possible. Of course no one objected, and Bruce in particular was very pleased to have both of them around to bounce ideas off of. They each had their own room, both already making the spaces their own. They were usually in an equal state of mess although Peter was slightly more organized. He put up a Star Wars poster and had turned one corner into a mini chem lab for his ongoing experiments. Harley on the other hand was much more spartan in his decorating but his desk was constantly littered with mechanical parts and there were grease stains smudging the perfect white walls. He had apologized for the first one but Tony honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved them, mess and all, and he would let them do whatever the hell they wanted if it meant they would stay.

He knew all this detail about their rooms because, well, frankly, he was spying on them. Never while they were in there, but he already had cameras set up in those rooms when they were empty and… he was curious. A few times he opened the feed and caught glimpses of them, working or reading or doing some other innocent activity, but he quickly shut it off. He didn’t want to invade their privacy like that.

Until he did.

It was a few weeks into summer when the staring started. He’d look up from his work to catch Peter’s glassy eyes fixed on him only to hurriedly look back down at his own project, blushing furiously. Harley was less subtle – as usual – and held Tony’s gaze for a few moments before smiling and looking away. At first he thought they were up to something, that he was going to get pranked, but nothing ever came of it. They did it to each other, too, but their gazes were much more knowing, so Tony could only assume there was something between them they didn’t want him to know about.

The first time he actively checked on them while he knew they were present was when he saw Harley sneaking into Peter’s room as he was up getting a glass of water one night. He tip-toed back to his bedroom and pulled up the feed, some dark anticipation throbbing in his stomach. But it seemed perfectly innocent. Harley was on Peter’s desk chair and Peter was on his bed, and they were just talking. Nothing nefarious. Nothing… sexual. It was sick how disappointed he felt.

But after that he just couldn’t stop. He watched Peter on his computer, looking up cute animal videos and laughing sweetly to himself. He watched Harley reading. He watched them both together, sitting on Harley’s bed, eating pizza and marathoning Stranger Things. He even turned the sound on occasionally, just to hear them laugh. It was like an addiction. But somehow, up until this point, he hadn’t seen anything remotely scandalous. Harley was shirtless once but it was just because he spilled coffee all over himself like an idiot.

“Maybe my timing is off,” Tony muttered to himself as he tinkered with the engine of his ’65 Porsche 911.

“What was that?” Harley called from the next table over.

“Nothing! Just talking to myself. As usual. Whenever I ask either of you a question you just respond with memes,” he snapped, which of course got the two of them going and away from the subject he definitely should not have been thinking about in the first place. But he might have had something. He never tried the mornings (or more realistically for these two, afternoons). Tony set an alarm for the next day, more pleased with himself than he should have been, and went back to work.

+ + + + +

He checked in on Peter first. When he opened the camera all he could see were tufts of brown hair peeking out under the edge of his massive comforter all bundled up around his body like a cocoon. Tony chuckled softly and shook his head.

“FRI, crank up the heat in Peter’s room a little, would you?”

Tony liked to keep the a/c low but even though Peter’s crazy high metabolism should keep him warm, he was always bundled up in hoodies and socks and obviously he needed some more heat while he slept. Tony smiled fondly at the image before switching over to Harley.

The contrast was shockingly stark. Harley had no sheets on at all and was lying face-down on the bed, clad only in a pair of very snug, red boxer-briefs. His tight, round ass was perfectly on display and Tony bit his lip as Harley shifted and the muscles clenched. This was more like it. Harley was obviously just waking up, his phone chirping an alarm at him as he squirmed a little bit, stretching his legs out and groaning softly into the pillow before flipping over to turn it off.

Tony was greeted by a significant bulge which he barely had time to appreciate before Harley was palming it and arching into his own touch.

“Mmmm,” he moaned quietly, biting his lip as he squeezed a bit harder.

Tony was completely captivated. This was exactly what he was hoping for, and as Harley slipped a hand into his underwear Tony did the same. How he was going to look him in the eye again later that day he had no idea, but he could barely even process that thought right now. All he could think about was how good he looked, how soft and sleep-warmed, and fucking shit how big his cock was. Tony was stunned when Harley finally pulled his briefs down his legs and grasped his dick with one hand. It was thick and long and flushed red, and Tony’s mouth literally watered at the sight. He had always imagined being on top in any scenario involving the boys but god, what he wouldn’t do to get that dick in his mouth or his ass…

Harley stroked himself slowly, pausing every so often to spit in his palm. He seemed unhurried and relaxed, just enjoying the pleasure of a lazy morning handjob. His other hand wandered up and down his chest, flicking at his nipples or scratching lightly against his stomach. A few times he reached up to tug at his mop of sleep-mussed dirty blonde hair and Tony felt his own hand tighten, wishing he could touch him like that, too. Harley kept his eyes closed for the most part but a few times he blinked and seemed to focus directly on the camera lens. The first time it happened Tony tensed up, his hand ready to cut the feed, but it must have been a coincidence because Harley just kept going like before.

His noises started to get louder as he sped up his strokes and he reached down with his other hand to cup his heavy sac, tugging at it gently. Tony could see his hips start to jerk, and from the look on his face he was about five seconds from coming all over himself, so Tony sped up to match him. Unfortunately, before they could get there, both of them wrenched their hands away as Harley’s door flung open and Peter waltzed inside.

“Hey Harls, wanna go get brunch before we—”

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the boy laid out on the bed. Harley stopped touching himself but made no effort to cover up, so he was completely naked and incredibly hard.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, I’m so sorry, fuck, I’ll… I just…”

Peter flushed bright pink but for some reason made no effort to turn and leave, which is probably exactly what Tony would have done if he walked in on his friend jerking off. Unless of course he was attracted to that specific friend and… oh. OH.

Harley seemed to come to the same realization and a slow, lazy smile crept across his face.

“Hey Pete,” he said, his voice scratchy with sleep and from the moans that were escaping earlier.

“I… I didn’t mean…” Peter’s voice was quiet, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Harley’s cock.

“I know. But you did sorta interrupt me. So, now that you’re here…”

Peter blinked at him owlishly.

“Wh-what?”

“Come on. I know we always talk about how fucking hot Tony is-“ excuse me WHAT “-but I’ve seen the way you look at me, too.”

Tony was reeling from the bomb that Harley so casually dropped. They talked about him? How had he never heard–?

“Shhh, Harley! We agreed, never in here! FRI hears everything.”

Ah-ha. Smart boys.

“Not really thinkin’ straight right now, Pete,” Harley said with a shrug. “If you don’t want to you can go, I promise I won’t make it weird, but—”

“NO! Uh. No. I…” Peter squirmed and bit his lip before he started slowly walking over to the bed.

Tony couldn’t believe his eyes. Was this really happening? He was half-tempted to ask FRIDAY if he was in a coma or hallucinating or maybe dead.

Peter was dressed in an oversized hoodie that Harley started to tug off as soon as he got close enough. They managed to get it off after a bit of a struggle, leaving him in tiny little sleep shorts that Tony had never seen before.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous, baby,” Harley said, grabbing at Peter’s waist and pulling him down for a wet kiss. Tony could hear everything, every slick filthy sound, and his dick which had softened briefly from the shock was now rock hard again.

“Really?” Peter whispered.

“You’re tellin’ me you haven’t picked up on ANY of the hints I’ve been droppin’? Christ, my flirting game is rusty.”

“I just… didn’t think…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s part of what I like so much about you. Innocent little flower,” Harley teased, kissing Peter on the nose and making him scrunch his face up.

“Oh my god Harley, I’m not that innocent!”

“Yeah? Prove it.”

Peter got a look on his face that Tony had definitely seen before, usually when either he or Harley challenged him to some task in the lab. Determination. Stubbornness. Boldness. He huffed out a little noise before pushing Harley back down on the bed, crawling down his body, and licking a thick, wet stripe up the length of his cock. Harley’s whole body jerked at the sensation and Peter looked up with a sly smile before taking the tip into his mouth and sucking.

“Fuckkkk, that’s it baby,” Harley groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow and scrabbling blindly for Peter’s hair to tug on which earned him a disapproving noise.

“Nuh-uh,” Peter tutted, pulling off him with a soft ‘pop’. “You want that, you have to look at me.”

Harley propped himself up on his elbows, one eyebrow raised, as he stared down at Peter who was pressing soft kisses all along his length.

“Is this better, princess?” he teased. Peter flushed a little but nodded as he took him back in his mouth. Harley dug one elbow into the mattress and with his other hand he curled his fingers back into Peter’s hair, pulling gently. Tony watched, completely mesmerized, as Peter got about halfway down his cock before he gagged and had to back off. There was no way the kid was going to get that thing all the way down his throat but god it was beautiful to watch him try. His lips were swollen pink from the abuse, spit-slick and oh so kissable. And Harley was a sight himself, obviously already on the edge from touching himself for so long but trying not to come too soon, his body tense and shiny with sweat.

“Oh god, Pete, your mouth…”

Peter hummed around Harley’s throbbing cock which made the older boy yelp and yank him off by the hair.

“Want more,” Peter whined, trying to take it in his mouth again, but Harley wouldn’t let him. He must be so close, Tony thought, palming his own cock just to get some relief. Usually he prided himself on being able to last however long his partner needed but fuck, he didn’t know how much more he could take. Thankfully, Harley seemed to be in the same position. He dragged Peter up into another searing kiss.

“Too close,” he murmured against Peter’s lips, “wanna come inside this sweet little ass. ‘S that ok?”

Peter nodded vigorously. “I’ve got lube in my room, I can—”

“In the drawer, over there,” Harley interrupted, pointing to his desk. Peter clambered off him so quickly he almost tripped and Harley laughed, but there was no malice in it. Tony got an exceptional view of Peter’s ass as he bent over to rummage through the drawer and could only image how Harley was going to fit his cock in there. Peter was already opening the bottle and squeezing lube on his fingers as he climbed back into Harley’s lap.

“You’re not gonna let me do that for you?”

“Not now. I know how much I need,” Peter said as he reached back to slide two fingers inside him, moaning as he pressed them as deep as he could.

“Well at least let me enjoy the show,” Harley said with a smirk, tapping at Peter’s hip until he squirmed around awkwardly to face the other direction in his lap. Harley groaned and squeezed at his pert little cheeks, spreading them apart while Peter fingered himself open. Tony watched his slick fingers move faster and faster and moaned out loud when Peter added a third, the high-resolution cameras picking up the perfect pink of his hole as it stretched around his thin digits. Harley threw his head back for a moment, eyes catching the camera again, and Tony could have sworn he smirked at it, but he was soon distracted by Harley slipping one of his fingers in alongside Peter’s.

“Ahhh!” Peter gasped, his hips shuddering as he sank down on their hands.

“You have gorgeous fingers babe, but it wasn’t gonna be enough. Come on, press in a little more, that’s it…”

It was only a few more minutes until Peter was whining and pulling at Harley’s wrist with his other hand until he slid his fingers out, letting Peter turn back around and position himself over his cock. Tony almost wished he had stayed the other way just so he could see every inch of it press inside, but this way he got to see his beautiful face. He’d have to invest in some mirrors for their rooms for the future… or maybe more cameras.

“You sure you’re ready?”

“Yeah, yes, please, want it,” Peter begged. Harley held his hips still with one hand and reached down to line himself up with the other. Tony could see the exact moment the head pressed past Peter’s tight muscle as his eyes flew open and he let out a choked-off gasp.

“Harleyyyyyy,” Peter whined, squirming his hips as Harley pushed up into him, getting those last few inches inside. He looked completely overwhelmed, his chest heaving and tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Aw look at you sweetheart, such a little crybaby, huh?”

“Am not,” Peter sniffed, slapping Harley on the chest which made the other boy laugh.

“Thought you said you wanted more?”

“I do! Fuck, Harls, it’s so big, feel so full…”

“Yeah? You like that big fat cock inside you?”

Peter blushed but he nodded fiercely, and he must have squeezed around him because Harley gasped and gripped his hips even tighter.

“Fuck yeah, just like that. Such a little slut,” Harley growled, jerking his hips up and jostling Peter forward. He braced himself with his hands on either side of Harley’s head and moaned as his flushed cock rubbed against Harley’s stomach. “You ready, baby?”

Peter nodded and leaned down to mouth wet kisses against Harley’s neck.

“P-please, move,” he whispered.

Harley started slow, fucking up into him with long, deep thrusts that jostled Peter’s whole body against his own. They tried to kiss but it was too messy, mouths barely connecting as Peter tried to meet Harley’s movements. It was uncoordinated, both of them trying to do what felt the best, and somehow Tony found that way sexier than if they immediately started fucking like porn stars. Peter whined with frustration as Harley kept knocking him out of his rhythm.

“Nnn, stop, lemme… fuck,” he groaned, as Harley grabbed his hips so tightly Tony could see the skin turn white and bucked up into him as deep as he could go.

“So fussy,” Harley rasped. “You wanna take control, hm?”

A flush of embarrassment creeped across Peter’s chest. He was like this even in the lab when they were all working together and he got excited about something, forgetting his sweet demeanour and ordering Harley and Tony around until he realized what he was doing. Tony usually just smirked and gave him a jaunty little salute but he would never tell him how hot it was. He was still shy about it, but obviously his need for pleasure won out and he pried Harley’s hands off of him, pressing them into the mattress.

Peter leaned back to grip Harley’s thighs as he worked his hips, slamming down against Harley, his dick jumping with every movement. Harley propped himself up on his elbows to watch this little display, a sexy smirk playing across his mouth as Peter rode him.

“God, look at you… so fucking gorgeous, baby,” he purred. “You close? Gonna come on my cock like a good boy?”

Tony groaned out loud at that. Fuck, Harley had an absolutely filthy mouth and he somehow knew exactly what to say to make Tony impossibly turned on.

Peter could only nod and whimper, and after a few more enthusiastic bounces he ground his hips down as much as he could, moving them in short little jerks to rub Harley deep against his insides. He must have been pressing right against his prostate because it didn’t take long for him to come with a high-pitched whine, shooting all over himself and Harley. Tony nearly came with him, just from the expression on his sweet face: eyes squeezed shut, mouth open, cheeks flushed… it was pure sin. Peter’s dick was still jumping and leaking when Harley grabbed his waist again and pulled him down for a kiss.

“That’s it, so good for me Pete,” Harley cooed, rubbing up and down his back and he shifted underneath him so he could plant his feet against the mattress. “I’m close too, baby, can I…?”

Peter nodded into his neck, fingers winding into Harley’s sweat-drenched hair, and he wiggled his hips a little just for good measure. Harley let out a grunt as he started fucking up into Peter’s pliant body in short little jerks. Tony matched Harley’s thrusts with his own hand, trying to imagine how tight and hot Peter must feel, how he opened for Harley’s huge cock so beautifully…

“Gonna come, gonna fill you up, so fuckin’ sweet darlin’, fuck!”

Tony got another gorgeous view of Peter’s face as Harley came deep inside him and he snapped his head up with a gasp and a lazy, fucked-out smile, practically drooling as Harley shuddered through his orgasm underneath him. It pushed Tony over the edge and he came moments after Harley, muffling his shout with one hand and making an absolute mess of his stomach. He came like he had been edging himself for hours and had to take a moment to slow his breathing before he could even look at the camera again. These boys were literally going to kill him. His heart could only take so much.

Which is why he nearly full-on passed out when Harley twisted his head around to look directly in the camera with a devilish smile on his face.

“Hi Tony. Did you like the show?”

Peter’s head jerked up again, his eyes wide as he looked to the door where he must have expected to see Tony standing.

“Wh-what, Harley, what are you—”

He followed Harley’s gaze to where the camera was, almost completely hidden unless you were looking for it, and he nearly choked.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, hiding in Harley’s neck as Harley chuckled, rubbing his back to comfort him.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, sweetheart. He’s wanted this since we got here. Got my phone all set up to notify me when you’re watchin’ the feed of my room,” Harley said.

That little shit.

“Figured I’d just give you a solo show today but then Pete here turned up and… well… happy early birthday I guess.”

Peter was still hiding, but he whispered something to Harley, so quiet the camera didn’t pick up the audio. Harley reached down and pulled his face up with a gentle finger under his chin and nodded. It must have reassured him enough to look up at the camera again although he was still bright red. He bit his lip as he raised himself off Harley’s softening cock, letting it slip out. Tony could see a pool of wetness where Harley’s come was dripping out of him and he groaned.

“I feel so empty already,” Peter said quietly, still staring at the camera. “Maybe you can help me with that, Mr. Stark?”

Harley laughed softly as he sat up enough to press a kiss to Peter’s abs and grab his phone from his night table, and then he cut the camera feed. Tony was left staring at his reflection in the blank screen. His softening cock was hanging out of his pants, stomach covered in cooling come, and his face was red from exertion. He was an absolute mess, but he had never felt so aroused.

“Be careful what you wish for, Peter,” he murmured to himself with a smile, cleaning himself up and already planning his next move.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Someone Special - Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 6)

Part 5

Week of Jingle Bell Ball 

Harry was on his way to the airport to pick you up. You were flying in to London to perform at the Jingle Bell Ball on Friday. Luckily, you decided to arrive a few days prior which meant you and Harry could spend some time together. Over the last few weeks since the talk at his house in Malibu, the two of you had really become quit friendly. 

It was weird to think you two had only known each other for only a few weeks. After chatting over the last few weeks, Harry was more than ready to have you in London to help with your Christmas Bucket List. He got little hints of what you wanted to do and looked for different things to do in London. Harry also offered for you to stay over at his place in the guest room instead of a hotel. 

At first, you were a little taken aback by it, but he said he always had his friends stay over, so then you thought why not. And that brought him to sitting outside of the airport waiting for you to arrive. Harry found himself feeling nervous at your arrival. He had no clue why. His stomach felt iffy and his palms were leaving streaks of sweat on the steering wheel. 

He mumbled the lyrics to the Christmas song playing on the radio as he looked at his phone. Your plane should be landed right now, so it would be at least a good ten to twenty, maybe half hour before you’d get through customs and getting your bags. To sort of get his emotions in check, he put his head back and decided to take a little cat nap. 

About forty five minutes later, Harry jumped up when he heard someone knocking on his window. He looked over seeing you standing there with your bags. 

“Shit,” he said quickly getting out. “Let me get those.” 

“You alright?” You laughed. 

“Yes,” he laughed. “I’m great, just resting my eyes.” 

“I see that,” you said. “Just like I see the drool on your chin.” 

He blushed bringing his hand to his chin and wiping it away. He took your bags putting them in the back of the car, while you got in on the passenger side. 

“How was your flight?” Harry asked getting back in and pulling his seatbelt on. 

“Long,” you groaned. “I’m ready to shower and like walk a marathon because I’ve been sitting too fucking long.” 

He laughed, “Well, you can do just that. I’ve got some takeaway being delivered to the house and then we can do whatever you want after. I’ve got a few ideas, but I didn’t know how you would feel after being on the plane.” 

“Ask me after I’ve had a shower and food in my belly,” you laughed. 

He nodded and started driving. 

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay with you?” you asked. 

“Yes, of course,” he said. “I wouldn’t have offered it wasn’t.” 

“I know, I know, but I just don’t want to feel like I’m invaded your space,” you said. 

“Well, you’re not,” he said. “I promise.” 

“Good to know,” you said. “Although, if I end up doing just that, let me know.” 

“You’re only here for a few days, I’m pretty sure I can handle it,” he laughed.

“I guess, we’ll just see about that,” you giggled. 

**

After you made it to his house, he brought your things inside and into the guest room. He showed you around and then left to give your privacy to get showered and changed. You were nervous on the way here, wondering what it would be like seeing him again and staying with him, but now that you were there, it was like your nerves had gone away. 

You would admit that it did feel a little weird staying there. Even though you both discussed what happened in New York or technically what didn’t happen, you still had only known him for a short while and you were already staying at his house. When you got out of the shower, you dried off and grabbed some clothes to change into. 

You decided on some jeans and a big comfy sweater in case you two decided to go out after, since it was still quite early in the afternoon. Yes, it was almost nighttime, but still early enough to call it a night. You dried your hair a little bit before heading down to meet Harry in the kitchen. 

“This smells amazing,” you said sitting down across from him at the table. 

“It’s from my favorite pub right down the street,” he said. 

“Now, did you discover it after you moved in, or did you move in specifically for the pub?” you joked. 

“Oh, the latter without a doubt,” he joked. 

“You know, joke or not, I can actually see that,” you giggled. 

He laughed taking a bite of his food before looking back over at you, “So, how are ya feeling? Shall we call it a night in or are you ready to be adventurous?” 

“I’m ready to see what you’ve got planned,” you smirked. 

“Alright then,” he nodded. “I’ve got the perfect thing to do on our first night, then. After dinner, we can head out, just make sure you dress warm.” 

“I take it we’ll be outside?” You asked. 

“Mostly, yes,” he nodded. “Is that alright?” 

“It’s perfect,” you smiled. 

About an hour later, you and Harry arrived at Hyde Park for the Winter Wonderland. As soon as you saw it, you let out a gasp with a smile. 

“Holy shit,” you said. “This is-Wow.” 

“I figured you might like it,” he said turning the car off before you both got out. 

“I think I might love it,” you smiled. “Thank you... for you know wanting to do this.” 

“Hey, as your friend it’s my job to make sure you fulfill your wish of making this a great Christmas, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do,” he smiled. 

**

As you walked through the Winter Wonderland, you were overwhelmed with everything it had. 

“So, what do you want to do first?” Harry asked. 

“No fucking clue,” you laughed. “There’s too much to choose from.” 

“Yeah, there’s a lot,” he said. “But we can always come back if we run out of time,” he joked. 

“Um, let’s try ice skating first,” you smiled. “Because that was actually on my list.” 

“Try? Have you ever ice skated before?” He asked. 

“Um... not really,” you laughed. “I mean, maybe once when I was younger, but I don’t really remember it and I’m pretty sure I had one of those bar things to hold on to.” 

“Weeellll, lucky for you I’m practically a professional,” he smirked. 

“I saw the Night Changes video and I beg to differ,” you joked. 

“I’m never going to fucking live that down,” he laughed. “And it was part of the video! I’m not that terrible.” 

“I guess we’ll just have to see about that,” you said. 

You both got a pair of skates to change into before heading out on the ice. Harry held your hand and your arm as he guided you out. 

“Okay, so just move your feet one at a time, but in like a rhythm,” he said. 

“Very technical terminology there, Styles,” you laughed trying to do as he said. 

“Hey, I know what I’m talking about,” he smirked. 

You rolled your eyes as you moved your feet slowly. Harry was guiding you and him over the ice. For the most part you were gettin the hang of it, but just when you started to get a bit more confident about it, is when you lost your balance and fell right on your ass, bringing Harry down with you. 

You laughed both because you couldn’t believe it happened, you were slightly embarrassed and the fact that cheesy Christmas music was blaring in the background made it feel like a scene from a movie. You looked up and Harry’s face was inches for yours. You both were staring at each other as you laughed. 

“You alright?” He laughed. 

“Physically I’m fine, emotionally I’m bruised... and actually my ass is probably bruised as well,” you laughed. 

“Are you really using my own quote against me?” He laughed. 

“Yah, I am,” you giggled. 

He rolled his eyes with a laugh before getting up to his feet and helping you up to your feet. 

“Shall we go again?” He asked. 

You were currently brushing ice from your butt as you looked over at him, “Yeah, I think it’s better if we call it a night on this whole ice skating thing,” you laughed. 

“Good call,” he laughed. 

You both skated slowly over to the door to get off the ice. 

“I don’t think I’m ever going to put these on again,” you laughed. 

“So, Ice Skating won’t be on your Christmas List anymore?” He smirked. 

“Never again,” you giggled. 

When you both were changed back into your own shoes and the ice skates returned, you two decided on getting some hot chocolate to warm up before walking through the lights and ice sculptures sections. 

“Extra cinnamon for the lovely lady,” Harry smiled handing you yours. “And a tiny pinch for me.” 

You smirked, “I’m still waiting on my thank you for introducing you to the best drink combination ever.” 

“Yeah, you’re not getting it,” he laughed. “I’m still not completely sold on it.” 

“Keep lying to yourself,” you said. 

“You fucking wish!” He said. 

You giggled taking a sip of your drink as the two of you walked through. You smiled at all the lights and sculptures, making sure to snap photos of everything and also of you and Harry together. You were having the best time and you hadn’t really noticed that the two of you were gradually walking closer together until you felt your hands touching. You both blushed a little, not really looking at the other as you took a small step away. 

You two were just friends, nothing more, you both had agreed on that. Yet, couldn’t help, but wonder what it would be like if you were a little bit more than friends. You quickly shook that thought from your mind though because it shouldn’t be there to begin with him. Harry made it very clear he didn’t have any feelings for you, and there was no way you had feelings for him. 

It was getting close to closing at the Winter Wonderland, so you two were about to head back to the car. You had played some games and each one two hug stuffed animals for the other. One of them was actually taller than you, so that was a bit of a struggle. Harry laughed taking it from you and carried himself. 

When you got to the car, you put them in the back and got inside. 

“Did you have fun?” Harry asked as he drove back to his house. 

“So much,” you smiled. “I’d loved every second of it, except maybe falling on my ass.” 

He laughed, “Yeah, that was a little painful.” 

The drive back to Harry’s house didn’t seem to take very long. You both got out, carrying the massive stuffed animals back into the house. Harry laid them on the couch in the living room before going into the kitchen. 

“Want some tea?” He asked. 

“Sure,” you nodded taking off your layers of clothing. “God, I can finally feel my toes now.” 

“Yeah, my body is thawing out now,” he joked. 

You put your coat and scarf onto the coat rack before joining him in the kitchen. 

“I really did have a great time tonight,” you said. “I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Well, you already have,” he said walking over to you after putting the kettle on. “I know it’s still pretty early in the Christmas season, but how would you rate it compared to last year?” 

“Oh, it’s already ten times better,” you laughed. “So, I guess it’s safe to say it can only go up from here.” 

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said. “You deserve to have good memories and to be happy. I mean, you are happy right?” 

“I’m very happy,” you smiled. “What about you?” 

“I am,” he nodded leaning up against the counter next to you. 

You looked over at him, smiling, as he stared at you. There it was again, the same feeling you had felt on the dance floor back in New York. An energetic pull  between the two of you closing the distance. Your gaze dropped to his lips as his dropped to yours and back to your eyes. Neither of you spoke a word, you just let your instincts take over, your lips were almost touching with the sound of the kettle filled the room. 

“Blood hell,” Harry mumbled pulling away from you to turn it off. 

He sighed, not looking at you, “I’m sorry-” he whispered. 

“Don’t.” you whispered. “Don’t be.” 

You walked over to him taking his hand in yours, so that he would turn to face you. You closed the remaining distance between you two once more. He brought his hands up to your cheeks as he looked into your eyes, almost as if he was silently asking for permission. As soon as you gave a slight nod, there was no hesitation for him pressing his lips against yours. 

**

WELP! There it is! They’ve kissed. What’s gonna happen now! 

[jordswriteswords]

Clextober19: SCREAM

For three years, Lexa had been rewinding Aden's memory.

"Why do we have to keep doing this?" Madi sighed as she looked at her best friends blank expression. She pushed his floppy blonde hair out of his eyes as he stared at the wall in front of him.

"I told you," Lexa says softly. "He can't know you're a witch."

"He keeps figuring it out, though," Madi counters. "Every single time we erase it, he figures it out a different way. Now, he's just losing more memories." Her blue eyes lingered on his face, his blonde mustache that he started growing. At fifteen, Aden still looked like a twelve year old, chubby cheeks and innocent eyes, and he was desperate to look older - hence the tiny patch of hair above his lip. "Soon enough, he's not even going to remember me."

"She's right," Clarke said. She sat next to Madi and slung her arm around her daughter's shoulder. "You never erased my memory."

"Trust me, my parents tried. Many times. You're just remarkably stubborn. I just - I need to keep you safe, Mads."

Clarke pulled Madi into her chest and sighed. "Just for now," she whispered to her daughter.

"Okay," Madi sighed. 

***

Aden rang the bell to the Griffin-Woods home, excited to start the movie marathon he and Madi watched every Friday night. 

Startlingly blue eyes stared up at him, a pretty smile on his best friend's lips. Aden blinked, his hands suddenly getting sweaty at the sight of her. 

"Hey, loser," Madi teased. "You coming in or what?" She asked.

Aden laughed, shouldering past her to get into the house. "Last one to the couch smells like feet!" He called, then raced to the couch in her living room. He leapt over the back and crashed onto the cushions. "Beat ya!" He called out before Madi had even turned from the door.

Madi rolled her eyes and settled onto the floor in front of him.

"I'm just kidding. Come sit up by me." He moved his legs and tugged on Madi's sweater until she relented and moved to the couch with him. "So what do you wanna watch?"

The brunette shrugged.

"Slasher? Freddie? Jason? Killer Clowns? Scream?" He asked. 

Madi laughed. "What is it with you and scary movies lately?" 

Aden shrugged. "I find them funny." He looked at his best friend through the corner of his eyes. "The supernatural doesn't scare me."

"Jason isn't supernatural. He's just a crazy dude."

Aden cleared his throat. "Yeah, we can watch something else. What about a witch movie?"

Madi's cheeks flushed. "Why a witch movie?"

Aden lifted one shoulder and let it drop when he said, "I think they're cool. They're just normal people with like… extra powers."

"They're not normal at all," Madi disagreed. "It's weird, having powers. You're not like everyone else."

"Yeah, you're special. You get to see the world through a totally different lens. Being a human kinda sucks. We're squishy and whiney and usually prone to doing dumb things." Aden pointed to the DVD case in his hand. "Like, always run towards the sound of murder."

"Witches are squishy and they can do a lot of harm to people."

"Or they can save people. Hello, Harry Potter."

"Voldemort."

Aden leaped across the couch to cover Madi's mouth with his hands. "Don't say his name," he hissed. His heart beat unsteadily in his chest.

Madi giggled underneath him, and for the briefest of moments, she thought about what his lips would taste like and if the hair above his lip would tickle. The thought startled her, knocking her stomach into her shoes, and she licked his palm. Aden's nose scrunched up and he pulled away immediately at the wet feel of her tongue, wiping his hand on his pants.

Her cheeks turned bright red, and she tucked her legs underneath herself in the corner of the couch trying to distance herself from the feeling. "Just pick whatever movie you want."

"What about Bewitched?" Aden chewed his lip as he cast a nervous glance at his best friend.

Madi blew a raspberry. "That's like ancient."

"Yeah, but she wiggles her nose," he commented with forced nonchalance. "Seems kinda relevant."

Everything suddenly went eerily silent. Madi swallowed down the knot in her throat and avoided her friend's eye.

"I know you know that I know," Aden said. His brow scrunched and he shook his head. "I mean - I know you're a witch. And I know your Mama's a witch."

Madi hissed, "Aden, stop -," her eyes widened as she looked around, looking to see if her parents were listening. Surely, they'd rewind his mind of tonight and Madi wasn't ready for that again.

"No wait, listen Mads." Aden turned to face his friend fully. "I know. And I know you're going to delete my memory again or whatever it is that you guys do, and that's cool, but just know that I know and I'll always know and I'll always keep it a secret. Clearly, it needs to be since you keep wiping my memory."

"How did you…"

Aden shrugged. "It makes sense. There's pictures of things that we've done together, places we've gone, but when I try to remember them, I can't even recall one single memory of the day. You always have to tell me what happened, and you haven't ever told the same story twice." 

"Your amnesia isn't -,"

"And how you always take the entire week off if you're sick. And how you always make me jump because I'll be sure you aren't around and then you just poof right into existence next to me."

"Yes, but -,"

"And how your Aunt Octavia is never in any pictures I've ever seen. I've even tried to take a selfie with her and she nearly broke my hand. She's a vampire, isn't she? And how defensive you are over what witches actually look like. You even coined witch-ist."

"I didn't coin anything."

"Okay, well, what about that one time I was playing soccer and you were the only person in the stands and I kicked the ball from half-field and it literally spun around all the defenders to end up in the net."

"Physics?" Madi said awkwardly.

"Madi," Aden sighed. "You're going to wipe my memory anyway, you might as well not lie."

Madi sighed and ran her hands down her face. "Fine," she murmured. She looked up into earnest blue eyes and said, "yeah, I'm a witch. My mama, too, and her sister. But aunty Raven and my mom aren't."

"And your aunt Octavia?"

"Vampire."

"Uncle Lincoln?"

"Werewolf."

"Those are real?!" Aden shrieked. Madi cast a wary look at him and Aden cleared his throat. "Those are real?" He hissed.

The brunette nodded, and started playing with the ends of her braids. 

"Okay, wow," Aden said. He ran his hand through his hair and asked, "so can you fly? Do you need a broomstick?"

Madi laughed. "Nope." She wiggled her nose and levitated off the couch a few inches. Aden's eyes widened comically.

"Cool! Do you make potions? Do you have any warts? Can you teleport? Is there a killing spell? Do you need a wand? How come you have to wiggle your nose? Do you wear gowns? Did you have to go to witch school?" He started asked the questions so quickly that Madi couldn't keep up with them to answer.

"Whoa, Aden, holy, wait!" She cried. She laughed at his excitement. "First of all, this isn't Harry Potter. Secondly, I'm a half-witch, so I have my own set of special powers. Each of us are different. My mom's got super athletic/physical stuff and I -,"

"Can talk to animals," Aden supplied.

"You - you know that?"

Aden smirked. "I saw you in the park last week. A wolf came up to you and you followed it. A wolf, Madi. You followed a wolf. Anyway, I followed you."

"Oh," Madi said, a strong swooping feeling in her stomach made her skin hot. "Why would you follow me if there was a wolf?"

"You were talking to it. And then when you found the litter, you talked to them, too. The pups came right up to you. You talked to them like they could understand you, and I just pieced it together."

"You followed me because you thought I was a witch?"

Aden swallows loudly. "Uh, yeah."

"Oh," Madi said, her brow furrowing at the fact that her stomach had dropped unpleasantly. "Right, yeah, well, I can talk to animals."

"That's cool."

"How come you're not more freaked out by this?" Madi asked, diverting the attention away from her disappointment.

Aden shrugged. "You're my best friend. You're important to me, and I just… I want you to know I'm not gonna hurt you. So when you wipe my memory this time you can at least know that you're safe with me."

Madi leaned over and hugged her best friend tightly. "Thanks, Aden."

"Anytime, Mads."

***

"You can't rewind his memory this time," Clarke hissed at her wife. 

They were doing what any good set of parents would do - they were eavesdropping. 

It's not that they meant to, but Aden's voice was changing, and it cracked when he was excited. He spoke with such excitement that both Clarke and Lexa thought it would be safer to know than not know.

"I need to protect Madi," Lexa said sadly. "I don't enjoy doing this. I adore Aden."

"I know you don't, but it doesn't seem to matter anyway. He keeps figuring it out. We've rewound his memory almost thirty times already. Nothing even happened this week and he figured it out. What are you going to do, kill him?"

Lexa opened her mouth only to snap it shut seconds later. She couldn't kill the boy. "What if we move?"

"I will literally kick your ass, Lexa. You're not doing that to Madi. You'd have to rewind to her toddler years and I am not going through the fire burping phase again!"

Lexa slumped into the counter. Clarke stepped into her space, cupping her chin and directing green eyes to meet hers. "Aden's a good kid. He's Madi's best friend. Maybe we should just trust that the universe wants him to know." She pressed a soft kiss to the pouty bottom lip of her wife.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist. "When did you get so wise, Mrs. Griffin-Woods?"

"When I married my best friend." She kissed Lexa's smirking lips and then pulled away. "Let's go talk to them."

***

Madi was in the process of returning Aden to his human form after she had turned him into a desk lamp.

"Whoa," he gasped as his butt landed on the side table. "That was so cool!"

Lexa cleared her throat from the entrance to the living room, and both teenagers froze.

"Looks like you're having fun," she commented. Aden jumped off the table and sat on the couch in a poor attempt to feign innocence.

"Mama wait, I can explain."

Lexa held up her hand to her daughter. "Nope."

Madi looked at Clarke, who just shook her head at her daughter. Lexa took a seat on the arm of the couch next to Madi and Clarke sat beside Aden, her hand running soothingly along his back. "We want to talk to you both," Clarke said.

Aden sighed, his shoulders hunched forward. After a long moment, he said, "Alright, I'm ready." He sat up straight and looked at Madi. "Thanks for being honest with me."

"We're not removing your memories," Lexa said.

Aden gasped at them. "You're - you're not?"

"No, we're actually going to give them back to you, if you want. I'm sorry I took them from you, but I needed to protect my daughter."

Aden shrugged. "That's cool, I get it." He looked at Madi. "I'd protect her, too."

Lexa shared a knowing look with her wife, then turned back to the boy. "Do you want your memories back?"

"You can do that?"

"Yes. It will disrupt the timeline, but it won't make too much of an impact because you continuously figure it out. At least, well, I hope."

"You hope?" Clarke hissed.

"I mean, well, it's not like I ever had to do this before!" Lexa said.

Clarke groaned and ran her hand down her face. "Fucking magical children I have.

"Anyway," Lexa cast a look at her wife before turning back to Aden. "I can, but it's pretty painful. Like, extremely painful, so you need to be sure you want --,"

Aden cut her off, "Yes, I want them. I want to remember."

Lexa nodded and switched seats with Clarke. Clarke took hold of her daughter's sweaty hand, stifling her chuckles. "He'll be okay."

Lexa placed her hands on either side of Aden's head and breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. He followed suit, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. 

She whispered an incantation that wasn't English then released Aden's head.

Nothing happened. Aden opened one eye, and then the other, and then pouted at the ordinary room.

"I don't think anythi -- agghhhhhhhhhh!" He screamed, clutching his head between his hands as the waves of memories were dumped into his subconscious. 

He fell over, his body crumpling to the floor in pain. His head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. He saw glimpses of fire and ice and blinding, painful lights.

Images flashed before his eyes of all the adventures he and Madi and been on since they became friends on the apple farm. Moments of terror and fun and pre-teen awkwardness, and images of Madi's face and her wiggling nose illuminated his mind.

His body seized and convulsed with the rewiring of his brain, and after a long, long moment, his body went still. 

Madi was beside him instantly. "Aden? Aden?" She asked as she shook him. 

Aden gasped and bolted upright, clutching his head as the visions swam before him. Madi stumbled back, her eyes warily watching her best friend, waiting for him to say something.

"Madi," Aden gasped, eyes landing on his best friend. 

"Hi," she said quietly.

His face broke into a large, beaming grin. "Hey, hi, hello," he laughed at himself. "Holy shit, hi!"

"Do you remember anything?" Madi asked, still wary.

"I remember everything," he cheered, then lunged at her to give a tight hug. 

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day overall. I wish I felt better inside but it wasnt as bad as yesterday so at least I have that going for me. 

Last night James got home and he helpedme finish moving things over to the other closet. So now the whole one upper closet is camping related stuff. And there is space still in the other upper closet. For decorations and heaters and fans. Excellent. And I did sleep pretty okay. James said when he woke up I seemed pretty distressed. So he didnt wake me up to say goodbye before he left for his final 100 miles of his Cancer marathon month. I am so proud of him. 100 miles is so many!! So proud. 

But that meant he would be gone most of the day. I woke up around 9 and while I was still tired and kind of out of it, I just scrolled on my phone for a while until I was okay with getting up. 

I had a donut for breakfast and got to work cleaning. I cloroxed and vacuumed and swiffered. I scrubbed the cabinets in the kitchen and shook out the rugs. I spent a good 2 hours just cleaning and making it nice in here. 

Around 11 I laid in bed to watch a video and ended up feeling really bad again. And that didnt feel nice. Obviously. But I couldnt shake it. I couldnt figure out if I should sleep or what. I had to go meet James at 1245 so he could fill his water bottles and have a snack before the last leg of his ride. So I couldnt exactly take much of a nap. So I just laid there and tried to will myself better. 

But then I heard a knock at the door. And our apartment never feels bigger then when I have to run from one side of it to the other to answer the door. It was Mr Will. Which is a better will then nothing. He was there to take the AC units out. I was very happy to see he was wearing a mask. Properly this time. And he helped me move the bed out of the way so he could get the one. I asked if he had a screen of this window and he said I was the neediest tenant ever! He wounds me! But he was mostly joking, I hope, and went to grab a screen. I would have just bought one myself if he didnt have one. So it was just convenient that he did. We put the furniture back and I cleaned up the water from the unit behind him as he walked it to the hallway. He got the second one too but that one was much bigger and I was worried about him. But he's a strong old guy and he got it. He told me it was okay if it fell though because no one was outside and apparently he dropped one before and it just smashed in the backyard. Oh my god. 

Once he left I was in better spirits. I packed up all the stuff I needed for James and off I went. 

It took a little longer then I thought it would to get to Fort Mckenry. I knew it was a little farther than the BMI but I was surprised it was almost 10 minutes away. I guess I just think of it as much closer. But I got out there and it was beautiful. 

I sat and enjoyed the flowers while I waited for James. And he was there fast enough. I saw his orange shirt biking past on the seawall before he got to the parking lot where I was. He had his water and snack. Didnt even need to fill up his tires. Took a stretching break. And then he was off again.

He would be a few more hours. So I decided to go stop at the grocery store for some cat stuff. And a pumpkin. Okay two pumpkins. I also got him gatorade and then went home. 

I was glad to back here. I put the cat stuff away and tried to make room in our freezer for the gatorade because it was to packed. I will have to go through that at some point soon. Apparently rubbing alcohol is all thats in a wet specimen so maybe Ill finally do something with my dead animal box.  

I spent some time starting to work on quilting stuff. I need to get some canvas bags to attach them to but I am very pleased so far with what I have made. I am also trying a top stitching technique that is fun but I have already run into some problems with. But I am having fun learning and thats good. I have also started looking into quilting clubs! What! There are a few in Baltimore so that is an exciting idea. 

Mom called me to tell me about an adventure she had and while I am very excited about the person she met and the artifacts they are being gifted, I am very concerned she is meeting strangers in the woods! She told me she googled him after and he's a big deal but mother why didnt you google him before??? Bad safety! 

As I was on the phone with her I heard James coming back! He had ridden 101 miles today and so I said as much to mom and got off the phone to say congrats to him and make sure he was alright. I got him the gatorade and he told me more about his very long ride. I am very proud of him and his work. 

While he was cooling down and showering off I went back to my quilt for a while. But eventually I came and sat with him in the living room and sweetP was being all cuddly and it was great. 

We ordered burgers for dinner. Which was an adventure because the app decided our address was a random restaurant downtown. So James had to call the driver and beg him to come to our actual house. Which ended up taking almost a half hour because of traffic? But we got our food and overall it was pretty good. 

After dinner I went and laid down and watched videos and James read a book. I took a bath and he is playing video games now. I am feeling pretty dehydrated so Im going to go get some water and start getting ready for bed. I have to wake up earlier tomorrow. Because I have to go to the referral dentist. I am already anxious about it. But it will be okay. Just send me some good thoughts cause its gonna be hard on me. 

Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourselves.  

[xiubaek-13]

Hold On - Part 1

Genre: First love & break ups.

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok, Reader x Yoongi

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Alcohol, Heartbreak, Drug use (only mentions of it), First love.

Word Count: 5,094

Summary: Hoseok was your first love and for two and a half years he was your everything. Yoongi was his best friend, they did almost everything together until Yoongi got a girlfriend who was his world for a few years. Yoongi was also your friend, having been to school with him. Hoseok broke your heart when he ended things with you but you hadn’t been able to let him go, reducing yourself to friends with benefits as you clung to the relationship that no longer existed, the love that was no longer there. Yoongi was there for you when his friend hurt you  and he tried to keep you away from gatherings that Hoseok would be at but there was no avoiding the two of you being at one of his own parties, a camping gathering on his mother’s property.

They say that all good things come to an end; but what they don’t prepare you for is when one party still feels like what they have is good and the other doesn’t. It’s one thing for a relationship to end when you both know there are problems, or when one of you fucks up, but when one of you is blissfully happy and the other isn’t - that’s hell on both sides. One way to work out just how many tears a human body can produce is to have your heart shattered by your first love. It’s a thing your parents try to protect you from as best they can, but at the end of the day you loved wholly, completely and honestly. To be told that the person you utterly adored no longer felt that same love for you broke you.

You’d put two and a half years into your relationship with Hobi. What had started as a schoolyard crush developed into a fun and teasing friendship. You often recalled the day you ran out of food tech and squished a muffin in his face because he’d mocked your cooking abilities. That might have been the first day he truly noticed you. He still didn’t act on anything, but you both started to chat more often.

You’d always gotten on better with the guys in the school than the girls. You preferred to read or sit and listen to music and apparently that was uncool by their standards. You didn’t interest them because you weren’t gossiping about boys or what party you were going to try and sneak out to that weekend. Your ideal weekend was, and still is, having comfort food and reading or watching a movie. You just didn’t have that girly gene. You never wanted to play dress up or learn how to apply makeup or style your hair and you were satisfied with how you looked. You honestly didn’t give a shit about what any of them thought about you. You never needed to put in any effort with how you looked when you hung out with your guy friends. They actually praised you on being able to be dressed and ready to go in under 15 minutes.

Yoongi transferred to the school midyear, he mostly kept to himself but the boy crazed girls in your year decided that he was an enigma; wrapped in a mystery because he was quiet and didn’t appear to chase after girls. It took you all of three days hanging out with Hobi and Jin to find out that Yoongi was a pretty cool guy who preferred to observe people than interact with them, and that he was definitely not lacking in suitors… he just preferred them older. That explained his lack of patience with the way some of the girls in your year threw themselves at him.

For the remainder of the year your friendships with the guys in your year grew and you found yourself invited to small gatherings they had - gaming nights, movie marathons and random trips into the forest at their houses. Yoongi became more relaxed around you once he figured out that you could appreciate silence and weren’t trying to jump his bones. In fact, he was the one who approached you when he needed help asking a girl out. He knew how to seduce older women but he had no clue when it came to someone his age. You’d been the perfect wingwoman and since you’d worked your magic he’d been virtually inseparable from her.

All too soon the year ended and you transferred to another school to complete your senior years. A handful of your classmates made the same move but your main group of friends remained, leaving you alone for the first time in years. The new school was structured to be more like university, with longer class hours and calling teachers by their first name. You really enjoyed the new atmosphere and thrived in the freedom you were allowed. School no longer felt like a prison and you were free to come and go as you pleased.

Moving schools must have made Hobi realise what he was losing because one day when you were out of town with your mother he texted you. You had to read the text repeatedly because you were sure of a few things. a) that someone had stolen his phone and texted you b) that this was a joke and c) there was no way it could be true. It was a simple text but, ever the overthinker, you dissected it like it was a coded message.

[9:45am] Hobi: Wanna know something? I miss seeing you at school. Did you know that I like you? A lot.

That’s all it said and yet you tried to find some deeper meaning or some hidden sign to prove that it was a joke. No one had ever told you they liked you. You’d always been the friend and nothing more. You’d helped countless times whenever one of your friends found a girl they were interested in, but you were never the object of anyone’s interest and you were fine with that. You had a lot that you wanted to accomplish in life, and you were young. The last thing you wanted was for a guy to waltz into your life and throw a spanner in the works.

You debated not answering but you didn’t want to be that girl. You’d seen enough times when a girl would ignore Jimin and how badly it messed with his head, you had no desire to do that to Hobi. It wouldn’t be a lie to say that you liked him too, but you had only ever thought of him as a friend. You had never entertained the idea of anything more with any of your guy friends. Yet here you were, sitting on the floor at your grandma’s house surrounded by family, feeling like the response you sent would determine the course of your relationship with Hobi from here out.

[9:48am] You: I miss having your dorky face around too. Define ‘like’ for me will you? Is this secret text speak to let me know that you’re being held hostage and need rescuing because if so, you are out of luck, I’m out of town with my family.

You hit send and waited. You replayed your entire friendship with Hobi in your head, searching for any hints that the boy liked you as more than a friend. For the life of you, you couldn’t think of anything.

Your phone buzzed, letting you know that he’d responded. You hesitated. Did you want to see the response? What would you do if he was kidding? What would you do if he was genuinely interested in you? Question after question flew through your mind at a rapid pace. You didn’t get time to mentally answer one before the next appeared. You shook your head to clear your thoughts and picked up your phone. All of the what if’s would drive you mad so you figured you might as well look at his response and deal with it from there.

[9:50am] Hobi: I’m not being held hostage you idiot. I’m hungover and finally decided to tell you that I have a crush on you ok?

Little did you know that your response would lead to the two of you having a very open discussion about what you liked about each other and then the teasing turned to flirting. The flirting turned to long phone conversations where you shared stories with each other and learned more about each other. During that time your feeling started to shift and you started to really care for him. You felt your feeling grow and soon enough Hobi was on your mind every day. All you wanted to do was spend time with him and hang out but your parents were pretty strict, never letting you hang out with boys on your own because apparently if that were to happen suddenly you’d be pregnant. Their knee jerk reaction frankly, offended you. They had such little faith in your ability to keep your legs shut that they decided to remove the option for you to spend time with friends - especially if they were guys.

It took a little bit of lying on your part for the two of you to finally spend time together outside of school. One of your friends was having a sleepover and movie night and your parents agreed to let you go since you told them it was just you and a few girls. You left out the part where there would be a few guys there as well because you really wanted to see him and you really didn’t see what the problem was. You weren’t about to lose your virginity to Hobi, hell the two of you hadn’t even kissed yet.

That night the two of you had your first kiss and decided that you both needed more practice because it was awkward as all hell. It was sloppy and inexperienced, and even though neither of you had any prior experience to draw from, you both knew it should have been better. So you kept trying until it was perfect. Then you kept kissing because it was addictive and you liked how his lips felt on yours; how he could make you breathless and make you feel desired.

It was 6 months in when he first told you he loved you. You’d been watching anime on a thin mattress on the floor. You weren’t sure if he had meant to say it so you kept quiet but as soon as you felt him tense you turned to see him staring down at you, his eyes full of vulnerability. He’d been worried that you didn’t feel the same but you soon eradicated that fear. “I love you too Hobi.” The smile that filled his face warmed your heart. You loved that you could bring him this much joy.

He was a good guy. He respected your weird wishes and didn’t pressure you to have sex, the two of you just continued to explore each other in every other way until that day, almost one year into your relationship, when you told him you wanted to try it. Almost one year in and your parents finally let you stay at his parent’s house with him. They didn’t realize just how well acquainted you were with his bed, or how his parents didn’t care what the two of you got up to. There had been times when you were driving home and you could still feel where his hands had been. Unlike the first kiss, sex for the first time was not awkward. You put it down to the 11 months of foreplay and learning each others bodies like the back of your hand, but it didn’t hurt. It made you feel even closer and opened up a whole new thing for you to both explore.

You trusted each other implicity and because of that the two of you not only learned what positions you liked the most but you also explored kinks and ideas that turned you on. You had no problems telling each other if something wasn’t working or instructing each other on how to do better. Sex was a learning experience and the two of you were more than willing to put the hours in to make it the best it could be for both of you.

The relationship wasn’t all sex though. Hobi would surprise you, and though neither of you could afford much, he’d take you on fun and thoughtful dates. There was one time where he saved up and took you to a fancy restaurant he knew you liked, and there was another time where he tricked you into getting into his jeep at 4am. He’d put a mattress in the back and a ton of pillows and blankets, as well as a basket with snacks and hot chocolate. He drove to one of the hills at the back of the property that overlooked the mountains and the two of you watched the sunrise in comfort. He made you laugh, he made you care, and most importantly, he always made you feel comfortable with being yourself. He loved that you weren’t afraid to disagree with him and could hold a proper debate with him. He loved that you always wanted to cuddle but didn’t crowd him. You never had a problem with him having time to himself or to hang out with friends, you knew how much he cared for you and you understood the need for time away from your significant other.

Fast forward another year and you’d both finished high school. You’d often talked about this day, knowing that you’d likely take different paths. He wanted to take a year to travel and work while you wanted to go straight to university, knowing that if you stopped studying you’d likely never return to it. The ultimate dream for your future was for the two of you to move to the south of France and live in a quaint little cottage with your two dogs and be independently wealthy. You’d have no worries or anything to stress you and you could just enjoy each other for the rest of your days. When you’re young, bright eyed and bushy tailed, that kind of dream future seemed so attainable to you… Not that you were old now, but you felt far less naive.

Unsurprisingly the long distance thing didn’t work out. Initially he’d asked to take a break while the two of you were apart, saying it would be easier if you didn’t have to worry about each other for the six months he’d be gone. You’d cried a lot, thinking he was trying to be gentle and break up with you but he assured you that it was temporary and that he still loved you more than anything.  

The break lasted two weeks. He caved first, calling you from some backwater town to tell you how much he missed you.

“Hobi, are you crying?” You’d asked.

He sniffled before answering. “Maybe. Look, I was an idiot ok? My parents told me the whole break thing was the smart thing to do but all I’ve thought about for the past two weeks is you and how I want to call you my girlfriend and it kills me to think of you not being able to call me your boyfriend. Can we please end this break thing? I hate it so much.”

You sunk into your beanbag, feeling the weight and sadness that this whole break thing had brought you. “Of course, baby. You know I hated the idea in the first place.”

He exhaled. “Thank god. I don’t know what I would have done if you’d said no. I can’t lie, it’s going to be difficult, but I feel better if we’re together.”

The six months passed slowly and painfully for you. You were living at college and going to parties while he was away working. You were never tempted to cheat and you were thankful that no matter how drunk the people you lived with got, they always remembered that you were off limits. You visited home whenever you could, going to his parents house and taking photos to send him of his room and his dog. You hung out with the guys who were still in town, Yoongi and Jungkook.

Yoongi understood yours and Hobi’s situation perfectly since his girlfriend had moved away to study as well. He didn’t want to move, and so they were doing the long distance thing too. Jungkook was studying online so that he could stay living at home longer. Deep down you got the feeling that he just wasn’t ready to leave the comfort of his home town yet, but you knew that he’d eventually leave and once he did, he’d probably never return.

You passed a lot of time hanging out with Yoongi and playing video games. It made both of you feel less lonely and you understood each others mood swings and the reasons for them.

“Long distance fucking sucks.” he’d blurted one night.

“I’m not gonna disagree with that.” you’d replied.

“She’s always too busy to chat to me lately… w-what am I supposed to do with that?” He glanced at you, a small fire in his eyes. His girlfriend had been dodging his calls all week and you had been waiting for it to reach breaking point for him. Apparently tonight was that night. “I get that she has classes and assignments but she can’t give me 10 fucking minutes? I miss her, does she even miss me? I just want to hear her voice, to hear how she smiles when she talks to me… does that make me pathetic or something?” What started as a rant drifted off into self doubt and as he uttered those final words he averted his gaze, not wanting you to see how hurt he was by her actions.

“When was the last time she made time for you?” you asked gently.

“Honestly,” he scoffed. “I don’t remember.”

“Then Yoongi, you need to tell her what you just told me. You need to tell her that she isn’t making any time for you in her life and that it needs to change.”

His response was almost a whisper, as though he didn’t want to think of the answer. “And if she doesn’t make time?”

You took a deep breath. “Then as much as I hate to even say the words, it might mean the end. It’s not fair on you to be putting in all of the effort. Relationships are not a one way thing.”

“But I love her.”

“And if she still loves you as much as you love her then she’s listen to your concerns and make time for you in her life.”

They lasted one more month until she began pushing him out of her life again. He made a last stand for their relationship and travelled down to see her. You still don’t know what happened during that trip but when he returned he refused to talk to you. He only spoke to Hobi and Jungkook, and Hobi told you during one of your phone calls that Yoongi was now single. You felt for him because he really did love his girlfriend, but she apparently had started moving on long before he had even thought of letting her go.

From that moment on, Hobi was different. He was due to return in only a few weeks and he kept dodging making any plans to see you. He just wouldn’t let you pick a day to see him, saying he had to wait to see what his family and the guys were doing first then he could let you know. It should have been a warning sign, but you let yourself reason that he had valid excuses. More than that, you didn’t want to be the pushy girlfriend and you were scared that if you pushed to see him, he’d only grow more distant. The calls that had once lasted twenty minutes or more were now reduced to a maximum of five minutes, barely enough time to have any sort of conversation.

You didn’t see him for a whole week after he came home and it was tearing you apart. Every time you had a text notification you were afraid to look because you thought it would be him telling you he didn’t want to see you. Every time someone wanted to make plans with you, you hesitated in case he asked to see you then. You’d texted Yoongi, telling him your concerns but he’d told you not to worry, that Hobi was just adjusting to being home and he’d be back to normal soon.

When you finally saw him it was like nothing had changed. He’d engulfed you in a bone crushing hug and peppered kisses all over your face. He’d held you tight and told you how much he’d missed you and how sorry he was that he’d seemed strange and distant lately. You forgave him because you were just so happy to have your Hobi back. It was different this time. He needed more time to himself than he used to and he took to partying which concerned you. More than that, when you voiced your concerns he told you to lighten up.

You started to dislike the person he became when he drank or got high but you remained silent, telling yourself you were happy. He loved you and you loved him and that should be enough.

The tension only grew between the two of you, you were constantly upset that he didn’t seem to want to make time for you and he kept telling you that you were smothering him. You tried taking  a step back and told yourself you wouldn’t contact him unless it was an emergency, otherwise you’d wait for him to contact you. You wanted to give him his space and not feel like you were suffocating him but at the same time, deep down, you knew something was coming, and that you weren’t going to like it. You pushed that feeling deep down, not wanting to dwell on it.

It took four days for him to reach out and talk to you. He invited you over to hang out and you were so happy that you’d get to spend the day with him, just the two of you. He treated you wonderfully that day, snuggling on the couch while you watched a movie before the two of you gave in to baser needs and fucked on the couch. In all of this the sex had never become boring or passionless. It was one way you could still tell how much he cared for you.

But the parties continued and you could no longer pretend to be happy. You couldn’t handle the way he shifted between doting boyfriend and life of the party, stoned and wanting nothing to do with you unless it meant sex. You stormed out one night and started walking home, you didn’t care that it was on country roads with no lights or that it would take hours, you just needed to leave.

You’d gotten about 20 minutes down the road when Yoongi’s car found you.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I can’t stay there Yoongi.” You tried to swallow the tears that were threatening to fall. “I just can’t. Don’t pretend like you can’t see the way he’s changed.”

The look in his eyes told you that he understood. He didn’t speak straight away, rather he let you get control of yourself before he continued the conversation. “Then where are you going?”

“Home.”

His eyes widened in disbelief. “What?! Your home is nowhere near here. Walking would take all night.”

“I can’t be there right now. That’s all I know.” You pointed at Hobi’s place as you spoke.

Yoongi sighed. “Get in.” When you hesitated he added. “I promise, I’m not taking you back there. Let me drive you home if you are so adamant on leaving. I cannot in good conscience let you walk in the pitch fucking black for hours.”

He was true to his word, not turning the car around but instead driving you back towards town. You were so in your own head that you hadn’t even thought to ask why he had left his best friends party but it’s something you would ponder at length later in the night. You stared out the window as the countryside flew by. Yoongi didn’t try to disturb the silence that enveloped the vehicle rather he let it carry on, telling himself that the moment it started to feel awkward he’d speak.

The trees slowly became fewer and the buildings and urban landscape began to grow outside your window signifying that you had reached town. Yoongi hadn’t driven straight to your place, instead veering towards his own. You turned your head with a somewhat confused look upon your face. You figured he was going to drop you home then head to his place afterwards. It made no sense to you for him to go to it first.

“I uh, well I figured I’d offer you a choice.” He started.

“Yoon-”

“Let me finish.” He cuts you off before you can protest. “Option one - I drive you to your parents place and you stay there or option 2. I let you into the granny flat I sleep in at my dad’s place and you stay here. Either option, you’ll have a bed to yourself but I figured you might not want to go home since you smell like smoke and booze.”  

The confused look doesn’t leave your face. “Weren’t you going home? I’m not kicking you out of your bed Yoongi.”

He smiled. “Don’t worry. Jungkook told me you just up and left the party and I knew Hobi drove you to his place so I figured like the stubborn person you are, you took off with the intent to walk home. You owe me dinner or something to make up for it.” He chuckled.

“In that case, I’ll stay in your room.” He nodded and parked the car. Before he could get out you grabbed his hand, causing him to look back at you, a perplexed look upon his face. “Thank you for… just thank you.”

His gaze softened. “He’ll come around, you just have to let him get used to being home again. Also, I take pizza as payment.” He smirked as he finished speaking, trying to lift the mood so that you wouldn’t wallow for the remainder of the night. “Come on, I’ll let you in so you can shower and sleep. I will kill you if you get in my bed smelling like that.”

“…The fuck do you expect me to sleep in?” You asked. Surely he realised that the clothes you were wearing were the only clothes you had with you and you sure as hell weren’t sleeping naked in your boyfriend’s best friend’s bed.

“I honestly don’t care. Go through my drawers and find something then shower.” He paused as he unlocked the door to the granny flat. “I swear to god if my pillow smells like cheap whiskey and weed I’ll hunt you down and-”

“Relax. Stop worrying your pretty head, I’ll shower jeez.” you muttered as you pushed past him, ruffling his hair.

He chuckled and started to close the door. “Sleep well schnookums.” He caught the pillow that you flung at him, laughing harder when he saw the look on your face. He tossed it back and tried to compose himself. “Goodnight, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

“You are so fucking cheesy. My god.” You laughed reluctantly. “Goodnight Yoongi.”

You did what Yoongi suggested. You gave Hobi time to return to normal, to come back to you, and for a little while it worked. There were days when he’d turn up and it was as if he’d never left. He took you on cute dates, spent time with you, rekindled your sex life, talked about the future - the whole shebang. For a time, you were happy. But in the background you noticed habits that he picked up, smoking, drinking, partying… and you disliked them more and more every time you saw him doing any of those activities. Every time you confronted him about your concerns he somehow spun the conversation into a guilt trip, making you feel like the bad person.

Then that day arrived. The day you’d been dreading so much that you’d pushed all of the warning signs so far down in the hopes that if you pretended like everything was fine then it would be. You had a friend from college visiting and it was her final night staying with you. You’d spent the night laughing and watching trashy tv accompanied by equally as trashy snacks when he called. You knew immediately that something was wrong from the tone of his voice, he sounded so deflated and resigned and it honestly scared you. It twisted something in your gut and a weird feeling flooded your system. You excised yourself from your room and went to sit in your car, needing to be alone for whatever conversation you were about to have.

“I think we should stop seeing each other.”

Alone those words meant nothing but put into a sentence that came out of the mouth of the person you loved, those words were like a knife to the gut. Instantly you hated that sentence. You tried to reason with him and press him for an explanation, thinking nothing could be worse than that sentence. You were wrong, there was a far more painful sentence coming.

“I don’t think I love you anymore.”

You broke. The knife in your gut left only to ram back into your heart and twist. You’d never believed descriptions of heart break but in that moment you knew that no matter how a person described it - the real feeling was a hundred times worse. You sobbed as you tried to talk to him, to figure out what went so wrong, thinking that if you could pinpoint a specific reason then you could fix it. You both ended up in tears because even if he didn’t love you anymore, he still hated being the reason for your pain.

A/N Thanks for reading & please - comments are always welcome.

[keishiko]

What Gives It Value (Chapter Four)

A lot can happen in five years, and after.

[Chapter 4/?  |  Rated for language, adult themes  |  Angst  |  Natasha x Steve  |  Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3]

[Set during the five-year jump in “Endgame”.  My latest, lame attempt at a fix-it fic]

Extraction in 10 outside yours. Wear the Cap-links :)

Steve stared bemused down at his phone as he absent-mindedly toweled his shower-wet hair. He hadn’t heard from her in a while, not since Morgan’s birthday some months back when she’d suddenly picked him up in the quinjet and neither of them had mentioned how they preferred not to go to the party alone. He had just turned to put the beer back in the refrigerator, still wondering if he should remind her he had retired, when he heard his phone chirp another alert.

Feel free to bring your laundry :p

Headlights glinted off the enameled stars-and-stripes on his sleeves as the sleek silver sedan pulled up to the curb on the dot. The window powered down as he approached, a battered duffel bag of laundry hoisted over his shoulder and contrasting oddly with his crisp black suit.

“Hey, stranger.”

The familiar throaty purr sparked something hot inside his chest. He peered in the open window at gleaming green eyes. “My machine broke down not two hours ago, Nat.”

“I’ve missed you too, Cap,” she drawled. “I’m glad to see you followed orders.”

He grinned at her. She’d given him the cuff links several years ago for Christmas, each designed to look like a miniature shield (official Captain America™ merchandise of course, 100% made in the USA; employee discount, free gift wrapping). This was the first time he’d worn them.

“You know, I had a whole glamorous night in all planned for myself.” He tossed the duffel bag in the back seat and climbed in the front. The car pulled into the street as he fastened his seatbelt. “Couple of beers, pizza delivery, six-hour documentary marathon...”

“Vikings or animals?”

“Anim... I meant Vikings, of course the Vikings—”

“Of course the Vikings.” Street lights glimmered off the sequins on her dress as they turned a corner. “You’ve only done the animals marathon three and a half times already.”

He’d fallen asleep the last time. She looked especially gorgeous tonight, even if she was smirking at his expense. He tore his gaze away from her to look out the window at storefronts streaking past. “Last time I checked, I was retired.” They were heading Midtown.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Sincere underneath the humor, she gave him a sidelong glance. “I’ve got two tickets, but I can drop you off at the laundromat instead if you prefer.”

No doubt she already knew which laundromat was his favorite, even though it wasn’t the nearest one to his apartment. “It’s okay. I suited up, didn’t I?”

The corners of her eyes crinkled in her smile. God, he’d missed her.

They joined a queue of vehicles that snaked glitteringly from the street up into a driveway. “This is ‘Swan Lake’,” Natasha pointed out, although Steve hadn’t missed the huge colorful banners down the front of the building announcing exactly that. “Boy meets girl, girl turns out cursed to be a swan unless she finds true love, boy cheats on her without really meaning to, girl dies. That’s the version with the sad ending, anyway.” Briefing over, her smile turned teasing. “If you don’t fall asleep, I’ll treat you to dinner afterward.”

He’d never attended the ballet before. It had never held any particular fascination for him, but as the curtain finally came down on the third round of crashing applause at the end he found himself wondering how he’d missed it. Already his fingers itched to sketch the long, lean lines of muscle and bone, the elegant lift of a chin, the graceful flutter of a slender hand. Beside him Natasha dabbed at her eyes.

“It was one of my first missions at SHIELD,” she said abruptly, digging into her Chinese takeout at headquarters. She had changed into a ratty sweatshirt, her hair out of its coif and curling around her shoulders, red at the roots. His jacket and tie hung over a chair. Elsewhere in the building, the first load of his laundry tumbled merrily in the machine. “Human trafficking, Eastern Europe. Major revenue stream for terrorists, as you know. Kids mixed in with the adults.” Steve glanced at her, but her face was carefully neutral. “Fury found them places, I’m not even sure where. Not all of them had families. Not all of them had families who would take them back.” There was a faraway look in her eyes as she pursed her lips around her chopsticks. “Oksana made principal dancer a few years ago, but this was her debut as Odette-Odile.” She quirked one corner of her mouth at him. “I didn’t want to miss it.”

He smiled back. “She was amazing. Thanks for bringing me along.”

She shrugged, but looked pleased with herself. “I thought she had talent.”

As she fished around in her takeout box for the last morsels of cashew chicken he strode slowly across the room, his hands in his pockets. Outside the main office the empty complex was shrouded in shadow and, in some places, a thin layer of dust; but inside she had cleared a space for them amidst the books and files, and the lamps threw cozy circles of warm light. Here and there pilot lights glowed green: no urgent notifications. Little had changed in the few years since he’d last been here, watching over the world with her. After Thanos, he remembered, he’d done so with an increasing sense of futility.

In the corner there was still the corkboard he’d put up amidst the screens and monitors, because there was something to be said for actually looking at and holding things that weren’t just electronic pinpoints of light and he refused to be told otherwise. Tony and Clint had noticed right away, of course, and Steve had had to withstand a good thirty minutes of ribbing about his stubborn fondness for index cards. (“So... so analog,” and Tony had shuddered, like it was a fate worse than death.) The photograph he’d tacked up ages ago—“the graduating class of 2015,” Bruce had quipped—wasn’t there anymore; instead he found it framed and hung, with pride of place, on a nearby wall. Natasha’s work, no doubt. The pinhole from his thumbtack was barely visible under the glass.

With an almost physical effort he forced himself to look at the photograph. He didn’t have any photographs at his apartment. It had been the twins’ birthday, and everyone had gathered for a party. Wanda stood smiling up at the camera between Clint and Vision, whose ghastly approximation of “cheese” still made Steve chuckle out loud, even if the sound came out a little strangled tonight. Natasha winked elaborately from behind the bar, both hands full as she mixed cocktails for Maria, Nick, and Pepper. Thor and Tony wore similar broad grins and smears of frosting across their faces, because the cake-smashing would begin in earnest as soon as the picture was taken. Steve himself was off to the side, his smile strained with disgust at the waste of perfectly good cake, and Sam had slung an arm each around him and Bruce while flashing his usual sunny smile. The photo was slightly skewed; Sam had still been trying to get the hang of controlling Redwing.

“I can give you a copy of that if you want,” she said from her seat at the table.

He smiled. Maybe later.

“You’ve really found your place, Nat.” He hefted his bag of clean laundry as they pulled up to the curb outside his apartment building. Inside the car it was heady with the smell of fabric softener. “I’m happy for you.”

“I do what I can.” Her smile softened as she turned to him. “You know you’re always welcome to come back, right?”

He chuckled. “You seem to be doing just fine without me.”

“Steve.”

He glanced at her, almost shy, but she was still smiling. “Tell ‘em I said hi,” he said at last.

She nodded, searching his face. “Will do.”

It reminded him of old times, her looking at him from the quinjet’s pilot seat; sometimes asking, sometimes laughing, sometimes knowing what he needed to see in her eyes even before he did. I’ve missed you, he wanted to say, and more. But then maybe she knew that already, like so much else about him.

“I don’t suppose I could offer you a cup of coffee for the road.”

She knew he was only half joking. Her smile turned wistful. “I’d love that, but I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

“Right, right.” How many times had they said that to one another, the night before a mission? “You know”—he paused, his hand on the door—“I still have my old keys.”

She grinned. “Well, I did stockpile your favorite kind of laundry detergent.”

She’d looked lovely earlier tonight, in her jewelry and coiffure and perfect makeup; but now he wanted to feel her hair curl delicately around his fingers, her soft mouth open to his. He didn’t want to stare, so he looked hastily away and down instead, to where his cuff link caught the light. “You know all my weaknesses.”

He never did get around to having his washing machine fixed.

  to be continued

The previous chapter seemed a bit too bleak, and the latest MCU revelations have got me down with missing my favorite Avengers, so here's a little bit more of a laugh :)

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Forty Four

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

March 20th, 2019

“Anxiety?” Virgil asked, tilting his head to the side. “What does that mean, anxiety?”

“You know how sometimes you get really afraid and you start shaking and having panic attacks?” Mister Emile asked.

Virgil frowned but nodded.

“Well, that’s a symptom of several anxiety disorders. Basically, even if there’s no danger around you, your body still thinks there is and it starts your fight-or-flight instincts,” Mister Emile explained. “It’s not a bad thing, but I wanted to see if we could get you diagnosed, and maybe figure out if you need therapy to help with it.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “That’s...a thing people get?”

“Yeah. You’re not weird, Virgil. Anxiety disorders are really common,” Mister Emile said. “You’ll be fine, and I’m always here if you need any help.”

February 20th, 2020

Virgil was enjoying himself, for once. It wasn’t unheard of for him to enjoy himself, but he didn’t feel any anxiety attached to his enjoyment whatsoever, so it was noteworthy. He and Patton were currently playing on one of the laptops in the house, Virgil handling the arrow keys and Patton working the “wasd” keys, so together they could steer a rebel ship to shoot the Death Star. It was entertaining.

Once they had shot the Death Star, they cheered and high-fived, before putting the laptop away. Patton and Virgil hadn’t wanted to go out to celebrate their adoption anniversary, so instead they were going to have a movie marathon in the den. Patton and Virgil had agreed to hide in the basement for half an hour while the others got everything set up, and it had to be at least forty minutes that they had been cooped up in the basement. They walked up the stairs, Patton calling in the general direction of the den, “Is it safe to come in?”

“You’re good!” Roman called back. “We just finished!”

Patton and Virgil walked in, and Virgil gawked. There was a stack of DVDs next to the TV, and huge bowls of popcorn and candy ready to be eaten. He wasn’t sure he would be able to watch all of the movies in the stack, but he knew they were certainly going to try.

Virgil got on the couch, grabbing a bag full of M&Ms and settling down. “Do you guys have the movies picked out already?” he asked.

“Yes, we have the first one in the player already,” Dad said. “But we figured you both would like to see this one first, so hopefully we weren’t too far off in that assumption.”

Ami turned on the TV and set it to the DVD player, revealing Bolt on the screen. Patton cheered and Virgil grinned. It was no secret to anyone in the family that they both loved that movie to death. As everyone got situated on the couches, Dad pressed play and they started up the movie (with captions, both because Dee liked using them to learn how to read and because Logan focused better with them).

Patton leaned into Virgil and Virgil looked over to him. “Enjoying yourself?” Virgil signed.

He got a content sigh and a nod in return. “You?” Patton asked.

Virgil considered. “Yeah,” he signed. “I’m enjoying myself.”

“No anxiety?” Patton asked, brows furrowing.

“Not...no anxiety, but very little anxiety,” Virgil explained.

“That’s good!” Patton signed, returning his attention to the movie.

Virgil idly nodded, and wrapped an arm around Patton’s shoulders, leaning back into the couch as they watched the movie unfold. Both of them knew what would happen like the back of their hands, but the ending still got to them. Patton cried a little and Virgil wasn’t far off.

After the first movie ended, Ami got up and turned the lights in the den on, before approaching Virgil and Patton with two presents. “You two know the drill,” he said with a smile. “These might not be as big as Logan’s or as lucky as Roman’s, but we hope you’ll still like them.”

Virgil and Patton looked at each other. “You go first,” he told Patton.”

Patton nodded and opened the paper, gasping in surprise. “Oh, that’s so cool!” he said, running his hand over the cover of the book. It was an encyclopedia about animals, no doubt designed for elementary school kids, so Patton would probably need bigger books if he became a vet, but Virgil knew this still meant a lot to him. “Thank you!” Patton exclaimed.

Virgil knew this was a big deal to Patton. He had never had someone really rooting for him when it came to his passions, until they had come here. Virgil tried, but Patton always said he wanted an adult who believed in him. Now, he had two, who were encouraging him to study what he wanted.

Virgil opened his slowly. His box was a little bigger than Patton’s, but he figured that Dad and Ami made sure that the gifts were mostly even. He opened the box underneath the paper and found...“A cat?” he asked.

“I’d recommend smelling them,” Dad said.

Virgil did so, and could make out...lavender. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “This is the smell that the therapist said made me calmer when we tried grounding!”

“Yeah, she told me that you seemed to really enjoy the scent. Now, obviously, you might not want to carry a stuffed animal everywhere you go to help with grounding, but because we know your thoughts start to race when you try to sleep...well, we thought you might like it,” Dad said.

Virgil picked the cat out of the box. “And it’s weighted?” he asked.

“Just a little,” Ami confirmed. “We figured that could also help with the grounding when you start to panic.”

“Wow,” Virgil said, swallowing. “I...thank you. This...yeah. This will help.”

Logan looked him over. “You okay, Virgil? You look overwhelmed.”

“I mean, I guess I’m a little overwhelmed,” Virgil said with a little laugh. “But you know, it’s more with the fact that you guys are so considerate than with panic.”

“Oh, that’s okay, then,” Logan said with a grin.

Virgil laughed in shock. “Okay, listen, buddy—”

“Ooh, Logan’s in trouble~” Roman sang.

Logan glared at Roman and chucked a pillow at his face. Roman ducked and laughed. Virgil giggled and hugged the cat close to his chest, nuzzling the toy close. “Will the lavender scent fade?” he asked.

“Over time, yeah,” Ami said. “But don’t worry, Dad and I put a little velcro on its belly so whenever the lavender scent fades, we can replace it with whatever scent you like.”

“Cool,” Virgil said with a grin. Roman chucked a pillow at Logan but Logan swatted it away...directly into Virgil’s face. “Logan! Roman!” he yelled, pushing down the pillow so he could glare at them.

Logan looked somewhat chastised but Roman was unapologetic. “Not my fault Logan dodged,” he said with a shrug.

“This means war,” Virgil said solemnly, putting his new friend on the table, before running with a scream over to Roman, whacking him mercilessly with the pillow until Dad and Ami ripped it from his hands. “Not tonight, please,” Dad all but begged. “We need to preserve the pillows for at least another month.”

Roman groaned and Virgil grumbled, but both boys got settled back where they were before, and Patton and Virgil got to choose which movie they watched next. After a quick murmured discussion, they decided on Spy Kids and the new movie started up. Virgil snuggled his new cat and Patton snuggled Virgil.

As time continued on, Virgil could feel sleep starting to stake a claim on him. Much as he loved Spy Kids, sleep sounded really good, too. They had dinner earlier, and now the sugar rush from the M&Ms was wearing off, and Virgil wanted nothing more than to sleep. Anywhere, really. He wasn’t going to be picky.

His head rested on Patton’s and he let his eyes close, just for a minute. When he next opened them, the ending credits were rolling and Patton was gently nudging him. “C’mon, Virge, I need to get up.”

“Hmm?” Virgil hummed.

“You fell asleep,” Patton said. “And I’ll let you sleep more if you need, but I gotta pee first.” And with that, he dashed out of the room.

Virgil groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Wha’ time is it?” he mumbled.

Logan pulled out his phone. “Just about ten. And it is a school night, so I imagine Dad and Ami are going to send us all to get ready to bed as soon as they realize the movie is over.”

Virgil blinked and looked around to find a suspicious lack of the two men in question. “Where did they go?” he asked.

“If I had to hazard a guess, the office in the basement,” Logan said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “But I wouldn’t interrupt them.”

“Wait...” Roman said, staring at Logan in horror. “Last year, when you did that...you never said what you found them doing...”

Logan turned crimson and looked away. “Yes, well, it wasn’t as compromising as I’m sure you’re thinking of, but it was not...pleasant by any means. For any party.”

Roman laughed. “You caught them making out, didn’t you?!”

“No comment,” Logan hissed. “And unless you want to explain to Virgil and Dee what ‘making out’ is, I suggest you shut up, quickly.”

“Oh,” Roman said, glancing at Virgil and Dee, before clamming up.

Dee looked at Virgil, confused. “What is making out?” he signed.

“Uh?” Virgil shrugged. “I think it’s like...kissing? I’m not sure, though.”

“But Dad and Ami kiss all the time!” Dee signed. “Why would Logan be embarrassed?”

“Because making out is kissing for a long time,” Patton said, walking into the room. “Like. Kissing for more than five seconds.”

“Five seconds is a long time to kiss,” Dee signed.

“Which is why it’s got its own name,” Patton said. He turned to Logan, smiling smugly. “You’re welcome.”

Logan stared at Patton. “Where did you learn that?”

Patton shrugged. “I got to talk to some middle schoolers sometimes when waiting for Roman after theatre practice, and they said that, and I asked what it meant.”

“And they explained?!” Roman asked.

“Yeah?” Patton said, shrugging. “They said it wasn’t the worst thing I could have asked, so they explained.”

Roman choked on air and Virgil watched the exchange with confusion. Dee waved his hands and when everyone was looking at him, he signed, “Do you only make out with people you love, like, romantically?”

“Yeah, usually,” Logan said.

“So does that mean you’ve made out with Jack?” Dee asked him.

Logan turned beet red and Roman burst out laughing. “That’s private,” Logan stammered out. “Please don’t ask me or Dad and Ami that.”

“Don’t ask us what?” Ami said, walking in the room.

“We were talking about making out,” Patton chirped.

Ami blinked. “I...who brought it up?”

Roman pointed at Logan. Logan sputtered. “Excuse you, you’re the one who suggested that’s what they were doing! I just said that Dad and Ami wanted privacy!”

“And did you actually explain what it was?” Ami asked.

“Oh! I explained!” Patton said, raising his hand. “The middle schoolers explained it to me, so I explained to them!”

“Explained what?” Dad asked, appearing in the doorway.

“Making out, apparently,” Ami told him.

Dad choked on air and Roman laughed while Logan just turned a darker shade of red. Virgil just felt more confusion wash over him. “This isn’t fair,” he complained. “I know all the swear words, but nobody is teaching me this stuff!”

“Well, it’s generally stuff they don’t teach you until you’re at least ten,” Dad managed to choke out. “So that could be why.”

“You learn about making out in school?” Dee asked.

“You learn about stuff that happens when you hit puberty, and as you get to middle school, you start to learn more and more things, including making out,” Roman said.

“Among other things that definitely shouldn’t be discussed around six to eight year olds,” Logan said, still not looking anyone in the eyes.

“Logan makes a good point,” Dad said. “And it’s ten o’clock, so I think you kids need to get ready for bed.”

Virgil groaned, but Patton just laughed at him. “You seemed to enjoy sleeping just five minutes ago,” he teased.

“But then we started talking,” Virgil said. “I like getting to talk like this.”

“When it’s not ten, you’re more than welcome to,” Dad said. “Until then, bed.”

Virgil groaned but complied. As everyone made their way to bed, or to the bathroom to shower, Virgil and Patton held their gifts close and looked at each other. “I’m really happy we joined this family,” Virgil said.

Patton gave him a shy grin that, in their silent twins-only language, roughly translated to Me, too.

[marril96]

Sniffles

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Rowena has an issue with your newly-adopted cat. You confront her about it, and things turn out not to be as they initially seem.

Editor: @oswinthestrange

Rowena was initially against getting a pet, but after hours of your pleading and begging, practically on your knees, she'd rolled her eyes and, with a huff, relented. Anything to make you happy.

The cat you'd brought home was full black and fluffy, appropriately named Luna. She was a friendly creature, loved to be petted and cuddled, and meowed when ignored for even a second — basically Rowena in cat form. You had a feeling they would get along well. If you could melt the witch's ice queen facade with love and kindness (even if it did take a year for her up admit she did, in fact, feel something for you, and, afterwards, months to convince herself that feelings, especially those of romantic nature, weren't a weakness), so could a kitty with cuteness.

You were right.

Rowena had taken to Luna right away. It may have had to do with the fact that, upon seeing her for the first time and thoroughly sniffing her, the cat brushed her head against her palm and purred happily, a surefire sign of approval, of acceptance of her as her human — her witch. Rowena, never one to reject attention, even if it came from an animal, was enamored.

Not long after that, though, she started acting strange.

It had started with sneezes and evolved into sniffles. The witch, ever proud, claimed she was okay. It was just a cold, she'd said. She was fine. Nothing to worry about.

But with the cold came her sudden indifference towards Luna. Every time the cat approached her with demands of cuddles, she would push her away and rush to another room. She wasn't running, she'd said when you confronted her. She just had something to do. That something just happened to come up when Luna was near her. A total and utter coincidence.

Yeah, right!

You weren't born yesterday.

After yet another incident, where you'd come home from a trip to the grocery store and found the cat locked in the bathroom and clawing at the door in attempts to get out, you finally decided to confront her.

Rowena was in the kitchen, mixing up what appeared to be some kind of potion, if the herbs strewn around the counter were anything to go by. Her back was turned to you; she didn't turn to greet you with a smile, something she always did, didn't utter a single word of greeting. Didn't acknowledge your presence at all despite you announcing, loud and clear, you were back as soon as you'd stepped through the front door.

Was she mad? It wouldn't be the first time something insignificant had gotten her to sulk. The woman had a gift of being offended by the most random things. You could deal with it, just as you'd dealt with it all those times in the past. You just had to find out what the great offense to her highness was.

"Rowena, we need to talk." You cut right to the chase, careful to keep your tone neutral rather than accusatory. You wanted to sort this out quickly and in peace.

"What about?" she asked. Her voice was raspy, croaky, as if she'd been crying.

"Luna," you said.

She sniffled and, taking a tissue out of her pocket, wiped at her nose. "What about her?"

"Why did you lock her in the bathroom?"

Maybe there was a reasonable explanation, you told yourself.

Maybe the cat had gone mad and tried to kill her.

Maybe she was a fairy in feline form and had tried to abduct her to service king Oberon.

Maybe she was an alien and had wanted to probe her.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

"She was being a pest," Rowena said.

You sighed. "Rowena, you can't do that."

"Nothing happened to her," she insisted, unrepentant.

"She was terrified!"

"She'll get over it."

"That's not the point!" You were fighting a losing battle. The witch was stubborn as a mule; if she was convinced of something, there was no changing her mind. You might as well shout at a wall. Taking a breath to calm down, you said, "Why are you acting like this? Do you not want a pet anymore?"

"Of course I do!" Rowena said, outraged at the suggestion. "That cat is just… annoying."

"She just wants you to pet her and play with her."

"Like I said — annoying."

She poured some seeds from a vial into a bowl and started crushing them.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed. "If you don't want a pet, just say so."

"Goodness, lass, I'm telling you that's not it!" Rowena snapped. She slammed the grinding stone down and swirled around, finally facing you.

You barely held back a gasp. Her face, usually pale, was red as a tomato. Her cheeks and eyes were puffed up, slightly swollen, as if she'd been crying. There were bags under her eyes, equally swollen, equally prominent, like dark, half-moon bruises. She looked like she'd been in a fight and lost.

"Oh, my god!" you exclaimed, unable to hide the shock from your tone. "What happened? Are you okay?" Then, like a light bulb flickering on in your mind, it dawned on you. "Are you allergic to Luna?"

"Aye," Rowena said with a tinge of shame. She didn't want you to see her like this, didn't want to admit a tiny, harmless cat made her face puff up like a blowfish.

"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have brought her home if I'd known you were allergic."

"I didn't know."

"Why didn't you tell me when you realized?"

Rowena turned her head to the side, avoiding your eyes. She sniffled again and brought a tissue to her nose. "You wanted the bloody cat so badly! I didn't want to ruin it for you."

Your heart swelled with warmth. "Honey, it's just a cat." Stepping forwards, you cupped her cheeks in your hands, gently, softly. "You matter to me so much more."

So much more than an animal. No matter how badly you wanted a pet, you wanted Rowena more. Cared about her more. Loved her more. No animal could ever come before her.

Rowena leaned into the touch, closed her eyes, gave herself away to the sensation. Your fingers caressed her skin with utmost tenderness, careful not to hurt her, not to irritate her swelling.

"I do want a pet, but not if it's hurting you."

Rowena smiled. "I'm… sorry I didn't tell you." It took a lot out of her to say it out loud. Apologizing was still a painful subject for her.

"It's okay," you said, and meant it. She'd only had your best intentions at heart. You couldn't be mad at her for that.

"I thought I'd make a potion" — she gestured to the herbs on the counter behind her — "to lessen the symptoms."

"You do that," you told her, "and meanwhile, I'll return Luna to the shelter."

Rowena stiffened. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," you said with a nod. "She's a lovely kitty. I bet she'll find a great home really fast. We're just not the right family for her."

You pecked her on the lips, a swift, soft brush of skin over skin. You wanted a pet, a pet cat in particular, but you could give it up if it meant Rowena would be safe. The last thing you wanted was to hurt her. An animal wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth it.

"Need me to pick anything up from the pharmacy? Something for the allergy?" you asked.

"The potion will do just fine," Rowena said.

"Okay. I won't be long. Movie marathon when I come back?"

"I don't see why not."

"Awesome! Would you be a dear and make some tea? I'll bring the snacks!"

"Of course, darling!"

You sealed the deal with a kiss, short and sweet. This could turn out to be a fun day, after all.

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @dropsofpetrichor @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @1-800ahs @darkhumorsblog @wayward-kaia @angel7376 @rowenaisfabulous @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a

[svynakee]

Promare thoughts/impressions

Watched Promare. Overall, enjoyed it very much and it was everything I expected it to be (extremely TRIGGER, basically). A visual feast that definitely satisfied my shonen action hunger. In summary though, I really wish it’d been a 12 ep anime.

Spoilers ahead.

LIKES

Visuals: Loved the stylisation. The vivid, pastel flames and the polygonal ice made a nice contrast and it looks so different not only from other anime films but also from other animations by the same studio? Brilliant.

TRIGGER being themselves: Illogical story with a grand scope, bombastic action hero, easily distinguishable character designs.

Hiroyuki Sawano: His music is just what you’d expect from someone of his calibre. Absolutely floored; also, quite a range in the soundtrack! I remember especially when Galo starts talking about the Japanese firefighters the music shifts to something more traditional.

Galo not being racist: Well, not being prejudiced. While its pretty par for the course to have a protagonist learn to overcome his prejudices in this sort of story, the fact that a person in the rescue ops doesn’t, you know, hate the victims who cause the disasters he’s meant to respond to is very logical.

Kiss follow-up: The no-homo fake out. Not gonna lie, they had me in the first half when Galo recoiled and seemed disgusted. But it would’ve made no sense because like he said, it was a medical procedure he’s been trained to do. Putting his mouth on anyone, regardless of gender, should not have grossed him out. And it didn’t! Being unhappy that he ‘started a fire’ makes more sense because his entire job (passion) is about stopping Burnish. There’s a real lack of hetero-signalling here actually. Promare’s not afraid to let its viewers decide how Galo swings.

Female gaze: Yeah sure there’s that shot where Aina’s butt is on display but the camera sure seems magnetised towards Lio’s crotch.

Lio’s refreshing morosexuality: Once they start working together in earnest, Lio is quick to just indulge in Galo’s quirks. He trusts the guy easily but not to the point that he stops calling him out for stupidity. Very movies end with me knowing that characters from opposing sides have a strong friendship ahead of them. Promare is one. I might talk more about Lio’s match with Galo more elsewhere, but for now, I do like how he isn’t shutting Galo down/constantly arguing which is what you usually see when a serious character has to work with a boisterous one.

DISLIKES

So most of my dislikes come from the fact that it’s a movie. There’s no way they could’ve done otherwise in a 1:51 timeframe, but knowing what the studio’s capable of, I can’t help but wish I saw their full potential.

Character development: Nobody really grew. Not every story needs it and not every character needs to change, but the lack of flaws addressed hurt Galo and Lio’s memorability I think. I kept expecting Galo’s impulsiveness to bite him in the ass. Didn’t see it much except for his confrontation with Kray. I even thought the ‘don’t pose and focus’ thing might come back, notably during the Lio de Galon fight when Kray keeps justifying his robot’s weaponry as terraforming equipment. Galo and Lio are just the type to shut him up and point out ‘If it’s being used to hurt people, it’s a weapon! If you hurt others, you’re a villain! Nothing can justify that!’ since it fits thematically into that fight as well.

Streamlined plot: TRIGGER has been shown to have a good grasp of story pacing. It can feed you one bit of ridiculousness at a time until they bring out something awesome but extremely stupid, knowing that they’ve tempered you enough it’ll just be epic. In this timeframe, that just didn’t happen. Not enough foreshadowing, too many crazy concepts introduced too late, and there was more than one Deus Ex Machina if you know what I mean. Instead of a proper build up that ended on a strong final note, it felt like a brief but sudden blaze that flickers out to leave darkness.

Less dynamic camera: Made it hard to follow the action sometimes. In a way it’s like the plot; too much momentum and not enough time to process it. A good spectacle is worth nothing if there’s no chance to digest it.

Flat supporting cast: Again, this is because TRIGGER’s animes have been strong in this aspect. The movie timeframe means limited screen time, but Mad Max Fury Road had only ten more minutes and managed to set up its supporting cast well. In Promare, they’re mostly reduced to archetypes. What are their relationships? Motivations? They feel more like talking props, like the NPCs you have milling about the map shouting flavour text. There might be more in the supplementary material but for the movie itself, I didn’t like most of the characters not named Lio or Galo. In fact-

Don’t like Galo: Or rather, don’t find him compelling. Unlike Ryuko or Simon, I don’t think he could carry a series. He lacks depth and drive beyond ‘I am a firefighter’. Sure, he’s stupid and loud, but those are personality traits, not a personality. Being nice, determined, having a love of pizza…these all feel so generic and TRIGGER is capable of so much more. Galo feels like an alright lead in a movie where a lot is happening, so he doesn’t have to carry anything in terms of emotion or drive, but he’d be boring in a full-length series. Or even a movie trilogy.

Don’t like Lio?: While I don’t agree that every conflict has two equal sides, I dislike how squeaky-clean Lio is. He feels more like the shonen protagonist than Galo sometimes. He’s caring, skilled, honourable, intelligent, determined. His flaws? If you shoot him then try to commit genocide he’ll knock on your door and ask to fight you. It’s unclear if there’s any casualties during his rampage, which makes sense because we know his flames can be harmless (by his choice) and he was specifically threatening to destroy Kray’s city unless Kray listened. On the other side you have Vulcan and Kray. He could’ve afforded a bit more ruthlessness and still come out clearly heroic. It would have given him more intensity to better contrast Galo.

WHAT I WANTED

In summary? Promare as an anime instead of a film. I’d give up smooth fights and shiny CGI any day for stronger writing and characters with impact.

Longer timeframe in-universe: The plot essentially takes place over a week, which limits how much development characters and relationships can undergo. Lio feels too ready to trust Galo. Galo can’t process Kray’s betrayal. The sisters’ story is just kind of shoved on you like unwanted vegetables spooned out by a health-conscious mother. Dr. Exposition suddenly comes in and starts tying up loose ends so abruptly I had to check my phone to see if the movie was almost over. The short timeframe means Promare feels like a marathon-length sprint.

More moral ambiguity: The Mad Burnish are still righteous and try to minimise damage. However, their plans don’t always work. They leave escape routes but fail to account for impaired mobility. Young Burnish lose control while they’re on the run, endangering ordinary humans. Lio is forced to make tough choices. He becomes more jaded, which leads up to the betrayal where he can truly break and begin rampaging. I’m not saying he needed a full Satsuki Kiryuuin thing, but damn do I miss her sheer badass aura. Lio lacks that dangerous feeling. You know he’s apologising inside if he steps on you.  

Galo’s popularity: Galo is shown to have great PR and love playing the crowd. Kray has good PR. The Burnish have bad PR. Instead of Prometh looping a vid with his hacking powers, Galo could’ve convinced the city of Kray’s evil the traditional way: a big speech about humanity and believing in yourself (and not Kray because Kray is evil).

Promare: Lio tells us the fire is alive. Interesting. Prometh says the fire is actually aliens from a parallel dimension whose prime directive is to burn also they feel pain if the Burnish are hurt. My reaction is like Galo’s: I sleep. The entire concept of the promare…I just don’t like it. Maybe I don’t like how they al disappear at the end and fix the Burnish.

In my ideal Promare, the things I love TRIGGER for would all be present. Strong supporting cast. Multifaceted characters. Build up that just gets more ridiculous and epic at a steady pace. Good fights but also quieter breather moments. More jokes.

More Promare, basically.

[sunriseinorbit]

KazeTsuyo’s One... Questionable Soundtrack Decision: Lazy or Brilliant?

SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 19

The fact that KazeTsuyo has a good soundtrack should come as a surprise to absolutely no one, since Yuki Hayashi has been making straight bops for like 10 years now, but it’s really good. I’ve listened to We Must Go at least 15 times in the past two days alone, and the rest of the soundtrack is just as good. (It’s on Spotify, go listen to it)

But when I was actually watching the show, I noticed one sound direction decision that was really fucking weird. And I’m not trying to nitpick, nor do I think that this decision was necessarily bad, but it’s something I’ve never seen (or heard, I guess) before in anime and it’s baffled me to no end since I found out about it. 

So let’s unpack:

At the beginning of episode 14, Haiji shows the team a documentary about the Hakone Ekiden. An old, wise narrator talks about the determination of the athletes and other sentimental bullshit over an inspirational backing track complete with Yuki Hayashi French Horns. But there’s something about said inspirational backing track that doesn’t sit quite right with me for some reason.

And at the beginning of episode 19, right before Prince starts the first leg of the marathon, the same thing happens. For some reason, there’s something really weird about the music.

(sorry about the play symbols, i used the screen recorder on my computer to grab these)

During the scene in episode 14, I had a hunch about what could be going on, and I paused the episode and went to Spotify to find the track and listen to it to see what’s so weird about it. But after I listened through the whole soundtrack, song by song, I found something even weirder: The song that plays during this scene isn’t on the soundtrack at all. 

At that point, my hunch seemed more correct, but I was still very confused because I kept telling myself “No, they can’t do that, they would never do that”, so I went to Reddit. I looked up the episode discussion page for episode 14 and scrolled through, and I realized that the soundtrack discrepancy wasn’t just a figment of my imagination. Other people were talking about it, too, and even more strangely, I was right. 

So what’s up with the music during these two scenes? Where does it come from? Why aren’t these on the soundtrack? 

Here’s the track that plays during episode 14, and here’s the track that plays during episode 19. Weird, huh? 

Now, onto my main point. Was this decision lazy and unimaginative, or was it inventive and thematically resonant? Well, that’s up to you to decide, but my answer, as it often is, is that it’s a lot deeper than you’d expect.

At first, I definitely thought it was lazy. After all, you have a beautiful original soundtrack created just for this series, why would you give that up just to use music that’s 3-5 years old? 

Well, first off, you wouldn’t be hard pressed to find similarities between Haikyuu!! and Run with the Wind. Besides having a plot structure and character tropes typical to their genre, both series are produced by Production I.G., have similar art styles, and have soundtracks by Yuki Hayashi (yes, I know Asami Tachibana did half the Haikyuu!! score, who do you think I am?) with similar moods, textures, and orchestration. Not to mention the Kakeru-Kageyama jokes. I’d definitely call the two sister series, and I think a lot of people would agree with me.

But that still doesn’t answer the question: Why would you use music from an entirely different anime?

When I first watched episode 14, my answer to that was that it represented that the Hakone Ekiden was something out of reach. The track itself is called “Longing”, and having it play in a documentary within the show makes it seem distinct and separate from the plot and characters outside of it. The Hakone Ekiden is meant for the best of the best, and at this point, the Kansei team isn’t there yet. There are so many good teams out there, there’s no way they could even qualify.

But at the same time, they’re so close. There’s still the qualifier to worry about, of course, but the vast majority of their members have official records. The Hakone Ekiden is definitely within reach. So there’s a bit of a discrepancy with this reading. 

Except... there isn’t. Because let’s step back. This scene happens at the beginning of episode 14. What happens at the end?

At the beginning of the episode, Prince is the only member of the Kansei team who doesn’t have an official record. At the end of the episode, he achieves one, and the whole team is eligible for the qualifier as a result. This episode is Prince pushing himself and catching up to the others, going from seeing the Hakone Ekiden as something impossible to being just one step away from participating in it himself. 

And what happens at the beginning of episode 19? Prince is preparing to run the first leg. 

The thing that connects these two scenes is Prince. And somehow, it makes perfect sense. Why? Because Prince is a huge fucking nerd. 

Prince loves manga. He reads it all the time including before and after races, his room is filled with stacks upon stacks of volumes, at one point Kakeru tells him to just think “After this, I’ll be able to go home and read more manga” when he’s running to get him to run faster, and while he doesn’t actually say the line, he’s the one who points out the MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE. And in episode 19, it’s clear that he reads a fair amount of sports manga, too. 

Because the episode is filled to the brim with references and homages:

This shot is the most obvious example, but he also quotes Slam Dunk, Hajime no Ippo, and Yowamushi Pedal, and the fact that Production I.G. was able to directly reference all these series is astounding. But I think the overload of references is necessary, just to show how much Prince values the genre. These characters are his heroes, and their stories are ones he looks up to and is inspired by. Now that he’s living one of those stories himself, sampling music from another series just makes sense, because that’s the mindset he’s in and the background he’s coming from. That’s probably the music playing in his head right now.

I think the reason they chose to use Haikyuu!! specifically was just the similarity between the two scores, since a complete switch in musical style would have been jarring and ruined our sense of immersion in the series. But even with the similarity, if you’re listening hard enough and know the Haikyuu!! score well enough, you’ll recognize it.

But that sense of recognition and familiarity goes a lot deeper than the music, and Prince’s love of sports anime and manga in itself ties into it, too. Because what I’ve found over the past twenty episodes is that KazeTsuyo is a sports anime for sports anime fans, but specifically sports anime fans who have grown up. The character tropes and simple plot structure are still there, but gone are the absurd, over-the-top superpowers of series of old, now replaced by a nuanced take on the genre itself. Not only are the characters in college and thus dealing with issues and goals specific to an adult audience, but the themes are more mature as well.

Over the course of the series, one of the most important lessons to be learned is that winning isn’t everything, and that running is what you make of it. Whether you’re running because you love it or because it’ll make you healthier or stronger or because you want to push yourself to do something you’ve never done before, it’s going to enrich your life somehow, even if you don’t win the race in the end. And other sports anime have played with that theme, too, but KazeTsuyo makes it a main point. Every sports anime can be inspirational, but the message KazeTsuyo sends - that everyone has a different reason for wanting to run, and every one of those reasons is right - really pushes it above the rest in that regard, at least for me.  

Remember when Haikyuu!! got big on tumblr in 2015-2016? I was 15-16 then, and now I’m a few months shy of being 19. A large chunk of the fandom has done a fair bit of growing up since then, whether that’s going from middle school to high school like my sister, high school to college like me, or college to beyond like some of my friends. But for me, Haikyuu!! was the first anime I really loved, and it holds a very special place in my heart to this day. So when I hear its score in KazeTsuyo, there’s something distinctly nostalgic about it. 

But was that decision lazy or brilliant? I don’t know, but it feels like coming home, and that feeling is really, really cool.

[parabellum-rpg-archive]

Congratulations, Joss! You’ve been accepted to play Amelina Martinez. Your request to change her FC to Emeraude Toubia has also been approved. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: I’m very excited for the future plotting! - Admin J

IC INFORMATION — CHARACTER DESIRED Amelina Martinez DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORDS I think the word that stood out to me most in Amelina’s bio is 'obsessed’. Her obsession with avenging Luis and her obsession with bagging Morgan seem to stem from the same unexpressed need. She’s stuck always being that 14 year old girl, never able to move on from seeing her brother selling drugs and then later finding out he was dead. The two events are sort of locked into her head, and after that, she stopped growing up so much as simply getting older. Other people can move on from grief, but there’s this block there for her, and I think it’s surrounding the fact that they weren’t actually that close, that he’d already been to prison by the time she was starting high school, that it embarrassed her in front of her friends to see her brother like that. I think there was a ton of shame for her with this screw-up of a brother of hers, and not just a little anger. Why couldn’t he just get his shit together and get a real job and be a real man? Maybe she even said that to him, and then later, he was dead, and she never really got to know him, or take back her words, or realize she should have told her parents. That getting him sent back to prison on a parole violation, which her extremely Catholic and law-abiding family would’ve done, would’ve been better than dying on the street like a dog. I don’t think her parents ever got over his death either. Him going to prison was hard enough, but then their eldest son dying before he was 25 just broke them. So there’s this house with three broken people, and they all handle their grief differently. To me, Amelina is Inigo Montoya, preparing to take out the whole damn Costello gang. What’s ironic is that she hasn’t done the math on Luis getting shot and realized he was probably shot by a Sinclair. In another life, Ameline became a cop and worked a gang detail, maybe working undercover. In another life, she became a community organizer and worked at a youth centre helping to keep other kids from ending up like her brother. In another life, she got married too young to a boy a lot like Luis and got sucked into a shitty life because she felt like she deserved it, as some sort of punishment. In this world, she swore revenge. She became a spy from the beginning, learning about a world that she had no doorway into by sheer will. She spent 15 years figuring out how to get access to a gang, when she could’ve just joined up. But she isn’t interested in being her brother and owned by someone else. She wants to own them. Which leads me to her interest in Morgan. Now, Morgan has a lot of animal magnetism and is obviously gorgeous, but I don’t really think if he were just a man, Amelina would look twice. I don’t even think it’s the power and the privilege he has, though she probably thinks that’s what it is, that drives her to him. She tells herself she wants to be his wife, to supplant Penny, to satisfy him on some level that he no longer feels, but I think those are just surface thoughts. What Morgan actually is for her, is death. Her death drive is jacked all the way up, not to the point of suicide, but to the point where death seems like an acceptable outcome if the result is revenge. She’s had this need for so long, she can’t plan for the future anymore. She can’t have dreams, she can’t have plans, she only has this one thing, and Morgan will use her to get it, and he won’t care if he breaks her to do it, and she wants that so badly. Everyone else in her life looks at her and wants to protect her or love her or just views her as unimportant. Only Morgan looks at her and sees a weapon. And that’s what she’s turned herself into. She can run a half-marathon in an hour and forty five minutes, she’s learned Krav Maga, she has killer aim, and most of all, she can lie so well that even she believes it sometimes. All she needs is for someone to just pull the trigger and fire her at the enemy. What was she up to in those fifteen years? Can you get experience in revenge? She couldn’t exactly go out and find a swordmaster to train her or something. She got a series of jobs that she hated and never got a promotion because she couldn’t care less. She went to school but never finished that accounting degree, or information management diploma, or even that administrative assistant certificate, because the idea of being anything for the rest of her life seems impossible to imagine. She made friends she couldn’t hold onto, and had relationships she didn’t care about, and she just … absorbed information. She went to Costello clubs, she hung with Costello people, she learned about them, and by doing so, learned about the Sinclairs. It actually took her a while to realize the Sinclairs were useful, because at first she thought she could do it all on her own, like people in the movies. After years of collecting evidence, only to realize it was useless because no one was going to prosecute them, and punishment meant nothing to people who owned the system, she finally turned her attention to the Sinclairs, under the principle that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. WRITING SAMPLE Her target, Luca Costello, was drunk as shit and just turned 18. Spending money like it had an expiration date and begging girls to help him celebrate. She wondered if he even knew what his family did for a living. On the one hand, how could he not, when he was surrounded by it all the time? But on the other, how could he really understand what they did and still throw bills around like the world was a game and he’d already won? “Hi.” “Hey. You’re … pretty. You wanna get married?” This wasn’t what she’d imagined. Was it really this easy? “I wanna go back to your place. Take me home.” “Okay. Yeah, let’s do that, we can totally … I have coke at home. And like, every booze. All the booze. I’ll even order pizza if you want!” He smiled and touched her hair. She let him. It didn’t matter what he did. None of it mattered. It was all just research.               *** He lay on the bed, passed out after she’d fed him three more drinks and listened to him tell her about some girl named Juliet and how she’d broken his heart again. He’d done a few lines of coke and that had pretty much made him tell her everything she could’ve ever wanted to know, and several things that she didn’t, about his life. It was kind of sad how little there was of it. His beloved twin sister, who sounded like a little bitch, his parents who were equal parts proud and disappointed in him, his friends who sounded like the worst sort of entitled pricks, his older siblings who seemed barely aware of him and who were embedded in the business enough to be soaked in blood. Climbing off him, her t-shirt left back in the living room, since breasts seemed to make men more chatty, and her pants by the side of the bed, to give him hope that they might actually fuck, she sat on the bed and just breathed. What the fuck did she do now? She’d thought this part would be the complicated part, that she’d have to jump through hoops, talk her way in, be so smooth that no one suspected anything. She hadn’t really let herself consider what happened next. Mostly all she could think about was the other Costellos. It was obvious Luca wasn’t really involved in the business, but they were. The oldest ones might even have been a part of the business when Luis was still alive. Had they put him on that street corner where he died? Was he just a scratched out line for them in some notebook somewhere? Did they even care? How could they not realize that their choices had left a fucking cemetary worth of bodies in their wake? Did they look in the mirror and see a monster? She was up and pacing and hadn’t even noticed. No one had ever taken anything from them. No one had ever made them face the cost of 'doing business’ before. They were all pampered, precious little vampires sucking the blood out of Chicago’s poor and desperate. She was back on the bed now, straddling him, staring down at his sleeping face that had never known real pain. What did he have to grieve? A girl who didn’t fall at his feet? He was a stupid little boy, a waste of education and opportunity. He’d had everything that she and Luis hadn’t, and he hadn’t become anything more than they had. It was hard to look at him. He was a boy, younger than Luis, his hair curling at the edges. He was a Costello, his very existence an insult to her own loss. She had a pillow in her hand and pressed it against his face. He didn’t even struggle. He could die like this, and maybe his family would think it was just some sort of freak accident. They would know just a fraction of what she felt, with their money insulating them from anything real. They’d know something, even if they didn’t even know her brother’s fucking name. He was moving a little under her, trying to push her off, when she heard a noise. A door opening. Was someone else home? Had someone come in and she hadn’t heard them? Was it the police? The rest of the Costellos? Did they somehow all know what she was doing? Lifting the pillow away, Lina froze and Luca took a breath. He coughed and his hand reflexively grabbed her bare thigh where it pressed against his. She was straddling Luca Costello’s thighs in a mismatched bra and panties, clutching her murder weapon to her chest like she was about to start a pillow fight. There was a man standing in the doorway looking at her. He didn’t look embarrassed, which was the part that confused her. They both looked at each other for a moment, and Lina needed to think of a lie. Nothing stuck in her head, everything was blank. She knew, on some level, she was panicking. She managed to choke out a gasp, and hopped off of Luca and onto the floor. Stumbling, the blood rushing away from her head where it had been pounding moments before, her feet numb from kneeling on them, she moved like a drunk co-ed. Yes, drunk. She was drunk. She was just another drunk girl, probably one of dozens that Luca brought home. “Oh my God, what’re you doing here?” Her voice was unsteady and breathy, but that was normal, right? Was anything normal? “My cousin texted me that he’d just proposed to his future wife. You two aren’t married, are you?” The question was so unexpected that Lina just automatically shook her head and held out her left hand, as if showing that she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring was the normal response in these situations. “Good. His mother would kill me if he got married the day he turned legal.” The man, Luca’s cousin, didn’t even seem to be really talking to her, he wasn’t even looking at her directly. “Could you … maybe put something on?” Snatching the sheet off the bed, Lina wrapped herself in it and sank to the floor, so much adrenaline in her system that she couldn’t breathe and could taste her own heartbeat. “I’m feeling … woozy. Can you find my shirt?” She just needed him to leave, to go away. He’d seen her face, but what were the odds he’d be able to ever recognize her again? If he would just leave, she could … Luca made a noise like a sad puppy on the bed and fell off of it onto the floor. He didn’t wake up, but was now curled up like a baby. Why had the cousin come home? Why was he here? What kind of fucked up family were they? “I don’t think I know you. What’s your name?” Oh fuck. He knew. He knew she wasn’t one of Luca’s friends, he knew something was up. Someone at the club had warned him, maybe? She didn’t know. But he didn’t know what she didn’t know, did he? She was just a dumb drunk girl. “I’m Lina. Luca told me he had coke. He asked me to marry him but I didn’t say yes … can you see my pants?” Why had she said her real name? She was a fucking idiot. Grabbing her pants, she went to stand up and fell into the bed, knocking herself into the arms of the cousin. She was pressed against his body, and he had a gun, it felt like a bad joke, is that a gun I feel or are you just happy to see me? Only it was a gun, it really was. And he was looking at her now, and she did the only thing she could think of. She passed out, dead dropping in his arms. He carried her. That was the crazy part. He carried her to the living room like something out of a romance movie, only it wasn’t romantic at all, and then just stared at her for a moment. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell somehow, that he was watching her. Trying not to shake, or even breathe too hard, she lay there and wondered if this was the part where he shot her. Was he going to press the muzzle to her head, or just pull the trigger? Would she hear it coming before she died? Christ, was this how it had felt to be Luis? She couldn’t even cry, weirdly calm, like there was a wall and all her fear was behind it, waiting to crash over her, but she couldn’t quite feel it yet. “Amelina Belinda Pilar Martinez. Where do you live?” Oh Christ, he knew she was awake, he was talking to her, oh God, she was going to die now. But then she realized what she was hearing. He was going through her wallet. The wallet that had been in the pants she was holding when she pretended to pass out. Oh fuck, this was even worse. He knew who she was. He knew her name. He had her goddamn driver’s license. “Mike, can you bring the car around? Yes, Luca’s. Just a girl. They’re both passed out, I don’t want her getting into more of his nose candy and OD'ing. Yeah, exactly. I’ll stay with him, make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit. Yes, well, it is his birthday. See you soon.” Lying there, a cold certainty hit her. She wasn’t prepared for this. She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. She didn’t even know which fucking cousin this guy was. She’d made all these lists, all these observations, all these half-baked plans, but she hadn’t done anything about them. Here she was, lying on Luca Costello’s floor, and she had no idea what to do. What if anything had gone wrong before this? What if Luca had woken up while she’d been smothering him? Christ, what if Luca had been playing music and she hadn’t heard his cousin come in? She could just give up. Admit that it had all been stupid. Go back to her pointless life and just keep living, day in and day out, and eventually die, having accomplished nothing. Fuck that. She would just have to figure out how to be better. She would. And then next time, she’d know what to do. And she’d never feel like this again. EXTRAS She reads the tabloids religiously to keep up with the Costello siblings. Not necessarily a playlist, but pretty much the new album from Billie Eilish is Lina’s soundtrack right now, with a lot of Lana Del Rey thrown in and the Kill Bill soundtrack on top (just because she loves that movie and has seen it 10 times).

Her favourite book is the Count of Monte Cristo.