#BUT IT STILL HURTS IN THE EYES😭😭
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Was about to continue writing the rest and finish the fan arts but my stomach suddenly went empty and my throat is dry— and it's already 1am😦 1 QUACKING AM. My older sibling is awake and roaming around the house while here I am trying my best not to get myself caught:'D ( I live in a house of a strict family</33[i'm trying to survive here])
#💌.astria's random thoughts#MY EYES HURTS HEJDHCJDDHD#the brightness of my phone is already at the lowest + eye protection#BUT IT STILL HURTS IN THE EYES😭😭
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btw if y’all ever see me post something that doesn’t have a color scheme of at least 60% warm tones or even a sketch where the canvas isn’t a shade between red and yellow just know that i have most definitely been assassinated and whoever took over my account an impersonator
#para normal talks#art style#art study ??? ig ???#idk i’m kinda jusy noticing my ‘style’#i always got confused when people talked about my style bc i feel like i post sketches 99% of the time#and i feel like the way i draw sonic characters isn’t that different from the canon designs/other artists styles#but i saw someone talking about different art styles in the fandom and i got brought up 😭😭#but it just made me notice that ‘oh! i guess i do have a somewhat distinguishing style??#if anyone asks for art style tips tho i don’t have any#i literally don’t know how i got to this point of drawing#the only thing i know for sure is that for at least 3 years i’ve been using warm-yellow-orange-kinda-dark-but-not-really canvas colors#and that was bc i used to draw lot more at night and bright colors hurt my eyes but now even in the daytime i still prefer warm backgrounds
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"She had us in just two words"
#epic the musical#epic the circe saga#circe#had to reupload cuz I hated how it looked on tumblr#half of my pigs lost just like that 😭#it’s been so long since I’ve been active on tumblr that I forgot the right image size to upload#plus I'm still trying to get used to procreate#so every draw may look weirdly compressed for a while sorry bot that#anyways let me complain again how much I hate to paint cuz it always ruin my art#my lineart was hella cute but I don’t feel it anymore#anyways is it obvious that I was inspired by wright barker's circe for this one?#except his colors are sweet demure and very mindful#meanwhile my colors are always on a 100 percent of saturation to make sure everyobdy's eyes will hurt when they look at it#i like to call it a medusa painting style#if you look directly at it it'll turn you to stone
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹
This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one#and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody#i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever#my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg#im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already#but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote#anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did#and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on#im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay#tw blood#<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood#i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice#catie.art.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#matador au
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30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#LOVE HURTS#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#wtFOCKEdit#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#s3#3x08#I remember people coming to talk to me about this clip the day it dropped bc they were happy about it and I was like…#have we watched the same clip? excuse me I’m still picking up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor#no but really I understand them both so deeply here it’s the worsttttt 💔#first she’s making the right decision but that doesn’t make it a happy moment. it’s SO SAD SHE IS HAVING TO MAKE THIS DECISION SHE’S 16!#OFC if we were still in Zoë’s POV this would have never been an issue but the writers really thought they’d convince me +#my babies had unlearned how to communicate SMH they were the best at it okay? this right here is EFFING BULLSHIT#but considering it’s what they were going for I get why they’re acting the way they’re acting and it hurts#because Zoë thinks Senne wants for her to make Viktor pay for everything he’s done wrong in his life and she’s feeling like her own trauma#and how hard it still is for her to talk about it isn’t being acknowledged by him…#and Senne oh he really wants her to do it bc 1- he feels that what went on is his fault & he desperately needs his half brother to PAY +#FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER! HE’S KNOWN THE GUY HIS WHOLE LIFE (PROBABLY KNOWS THE ACCIDENT IN THE PAST MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT)#they have history and that makes everything even more awful bc he doesn’t understand why Zoë doesn’t feel like testifying#I don't believe that Senne would have been this incisive hadn't he ~known~ her ab*ser#I mean I think he would have accepted her decision way more easily if he didn't feel responsible for what happened 😔#she’s been feeling all alone in her anguish and at the same time starts pushing him away#it’s painful to see how the two of them are trying here. He’s so trying to support her no matter what#and she’s so trying to be strong for herself but her eyes are teary she can barely look at him it’s too much 😭❤️🩹
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me petting my cat at 3am after 0 indication that he is actually hurt: r u okay would u tell me if you were ever not okay
my cat probably: god she’s at it again
#im so excited to tell my therapist that i managed to catastrophize EVERYTHING#playing with my cat with laser pointer: oh my god what if i shine it into his eyes and he goes blind what if i’ve already done that baby#baby please tell me you can still see clearly#wiggles my cat: oh my god am is this shaking him#baby baby will you tell me if you have a concussion from this treatment#cat doesnt jump onto bed: IS UR PAW HURTING#my mom is like u have got to stop worrying hes gonna sense ur stress and ur gonna give him anxiety#and then i got stressed about that 😭😭😭😭 LIKE BABY NO BABY DONT BE STRESSED U R SMOL I WILL PROTECT U#delete later#im not gonna say the extent of the rabbit hole that my anxiety drove me to#i wanted to draw tn but my apple pen died and this is whag i chose to do instead
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Just finished watching httyd 2 again
Safe to say that I cried......again.
Idc how many times I've watched it, httyd 2 will always be my favorite movie out of the three and it never fails to make me cry and feel the same excitement from when I first watched it. Even after thw, I still thought part 2 was the best for me...idk it's just something about it (literally the whole movie) that's always made me enjoy it sososososo much. I remember when I was younger seeing it and being like "nope this is my favorite" and I'm still standing by it today 🧍♀️
#Now I'm off on a journey to watch part 3....#I usually avoid that one tbh because I fricken bawl my eyes out when I watch that specific one#I do for httyd 2 but man.... I mean we all know the ending that's why I don't watch it as much 😭#I actually don't entirely hate it... I still love it but it hurts knowing what's gonna happen 🥲#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#hiccup how to train your dragon#httyd 2#httyd the hidden world#httyd thw
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I need to go home asap so I can cry properly cause this is not. it.
#why you gotta do my boy like that#binging the whole series hyping myself up for the moment when he and gray would finally become friends or smth#and he just#fuckind DIES#like why would you do that😭😭😭😭#what was the reason?????#its beautifully tragic but STILL#like#i will never be able to reread this without crying now lord help my soul😭😭#came back to reread after i fell off during a hiatus a couple years ago#riding on the high of a cool potential friendship#and BAM#spirits crushed#dreams OBLITERATED#ik im pretty late to the fandom but by god i need an au right fucking now#this is sickening i need to cry desperately#my eyes fucking hurt😭😭😭#weak hero#donald na
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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(guy with chronic migraines voice) you will never guess what unfortunate circumstance has befallen me today.
#ow. :/#rimi talks#i want to keep working on the final scene in tcos ch3 but my eyes AND my fucky arm both want me dead. alas....!!!#i mean im still gonna do it but i need to manage to get myself. my laptop. my tea. and my snacky#all back to my room. im currently a lump on the couch in the living room with my laptop but he's almost dead.#tea is in the pot on the stove. snaccy is in the pantry. you see how this is many steps#AND on top of it all my poor dog will want to follow me but he hurt his paw and he's limping#and i feel SO bad going anywhere but the living room bc he wants to follow me but it clearly hurts him to do so!!!#and i cannot carry him bc he is 90 lbs 😭#this is a struggle household today
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WAIT YOURE A MOTHER 3 FAN TOO????? BEST BLOGGER ON THIS WEBSITE FR FR
NJDASNJKDAS YEAH YEAH for the few people who have known me long enough to know my Origin Story. I actually joined tumblr ten years ago as a Mom 3 ask blog :") It literally was the Start of my online presence here and I hold it so near and dear to my heart 🥰
#I will always be a Mom 3 fan at heart. That was my ORIGIN baby#I had that ask blog before I even had THIS blog#Which I'm p sure turns ten next month. GOD.#Anyway asktwinheroes started in January of 2014 I believe. So yeah. A DECADE ago#Which is INSANE to me#Anyway I love Mom 3 so so so much it's such a brilliant game#It's funny and charming and heartbreakingly sad sometimes#I bawled my EYES out at the ending. The first time I played it my mom literally thought smth was wrong#She was like ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU HURT??#Me: C-C-CLAUSSSSS 😭😭😭#Claus still remains one of my comfort characters and one of my FAVORITE characters in all of media of all time.#PERIODT!!!#ANYWAY yeah I am a Mother 3 fan...to put it lightly...LOL#Shima answers questions#Mother 3#Mother series
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#robin processes emotions on main#would it be evil to stay home from family thanksgiving because I don't think I can do all my homework if I go. would it be selfish#it probably would be selfish#I'm just feeling overwhelmed tonight because I remembered All Of The Homework due on Tuesday next week and I was planning#to do most of that homework today but there's more than I thought and I also chose to do a thanksgiving dinner and online games#with the uncle who also stayed home from family thanksgiving this year. and it was fantastic and I wouldn't trade that for the world#but it was last minute and I'm SO OVERWHELMED NOW 😭#and I just DROPPED THE PIZZA SAUCE from the pizza he bought me and it was just the last straw folks. now there's pizza sauce#on the floor and tears in my eyes and my throat hurts. and I'm aware this whole upset is selfish but STILL#still#wellllll anyway sorry#big sniff#I'm fine and everything will be fine this is just a lose/lose situation#also I'm not feeling well physically and driving four hours tomorrow for a stressful event sounds really sucky :(#four hours round trip for like six hours in person
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i love when people say "read my pinned/dni before interacting!!!" and then their pinned post is written in a "fancy" font. babygirl. i cant read that
#ough my eyes still hurt from trying to read that shit and i still have no idea what half of it said 😭#☆.txt#if you do this im just not going to interact at all 😭😭
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me when sad media piece about romantic relationship: light work no reaction
me when sad media piece about sibling dynamic: oh. okay. its got a little kick.
me when sad media piece about child-parental figure dynamic: LET ME GET UP LET ME GET UP LET ME GET UP ELT MEGET UP ELT ME GET UP ELTMR FJETY UP LEGBR LE FEOT UP
#me when#i just watched aftersun and when i tell you the symptoms that movie gave me were PLAGUE-LIKE#its bcuz i cried so much throughout that my eyes are still swollen (its the morning after)#1. got a headache from how hard i cried and had to sit down#2. passed out right after the film (it was early)#3. i had work earlier and fucked my knee during my shift. it hurt so bad but after the movie my body was so numb i couldnt even feel it#4. dehydration from crying so much#5. tummy ache from crying so much. also felt like throwing up#6. became delirious and started thinking about my DAD DYING 😭 had to be with him for two hours to calm down lmfao#all in all: DONT WATCH AFTERSUN. the worst movie ever i genuinely wanted to die#still five stars tho#but im seeing a pattern in all my fav media. hm#aftersun#everything everywhere all at once#eeaao#tlou#the last of us#lady bird#beautiful boy#fancy dance#circe#michiko and hatchin#the astonishing colour of after#wolf children#the cruel prince#<- im only tagging tcp bcuz jude and madoc’s relationship was honestly the best part abt the series#rewriting
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There’s so much absolutely heart wrenching beautiful anguished art of Aventurine out there, and I love it all, but the thing that makes me cry, on 100% guarantee, is seeing wee happy Kakavasha 😭
#idk I wanna do a proper write up of my feelings at some point#it’d be highly personal and about cptsd and all the things I see / project into Aventurine#I feel such a desperate need to pour over and pick it all out but I also know I’m going to be fucking sobbing constantly while writing it#dndndndn but idk I think it would be so cathartic too ahhh we’ll see#anyway fuck#the light in kakavasha’s eyes will never not destroy me#the way he just wants to play#the way you still see that in Aventurine#so much about childhood trauma is forgetting and distancing yourself from your past#but you throw out the joy along with the hurt#and you forget that wee child version of yourself is still in you#kakavasha never left#nnnnaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😭😭😭😭#Aventurine#HSR#my rambles
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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