#BUT IT STILL HURTS IN THE EYES😭😭
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Was about to continue writing the rest and finish the fan arts but my stomach suddenly went empty and my throat is dry— and it's already 1am😦 1 QUACKING AM. My older sibling is awake and roaming around the house while here I am trying my best not to get myself caught:'D ( I live in a house of a strict family</33[i'm trying to survive here])
#💌.astria's random thoughts#MY EYES HURTS HEJDHCJDDHD#the brightness of my phone is already at the lowest + eye protection#BUT IT STILL HURTS IN THE EYES😭😭
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btw if y’all ever see me post something that doesn’t have a color scheme of at least 60% warm tones or even a sketch where the canvas isn’t a shade between red and yellow just know that i have most definitely been assassinated and whoever took over my account an impersonator
#para normal talks#art style#art study ??? ig ???#idk i’m kinda jusy noticing my ‘style’#i always got confused when people talked about my style bc i feel like i post sketches 99% of the time#and i feel like the way i draw sonic characters isn’t that different from the canon designs/other artists styles#but i saw someone talking about different art styles in the fandom and i got brought up 😭😭#but it just made me notice that ‘oh! i guess i do have a somewhat distinguishing style??#if anyone asks for art style tips tho i don’t have any#i literally don’t know how i got to this point of drawing#the only thing i know for sure is that for at least 3 years i’ve been using warm-yellow-orange-kinda-dark-but-not-really canvas colors#and that was bc i used to draw lot more at night and bright colors hurt my eyes but now even in the daytime i still prefer warm backgrounds
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"She had us in just two words"
#epic the musical#epic the circe saga#circe#had to reupload cuz I hated how it looked on tumblr#half of my pigs lost just like that 😭#it’s been so long since I’ve been active on tumblr that I forgot the right image size to upload#plus I'm still trying to get used to procreate#so every draw may look weirdly compressed for a while sorry bot that#anyways let me complain again how much I hate to paint cuz it always ruin my art#my lineart was hella cute but I don’t feel it anymore#anyways is it obvious that I was inspired by wright barker's circe for this one?#except his colors are sweet demure and very mindful#meanwhile my colors are always on a 100 percent of saturation to make sure everyobdy's eyes will hurt when they look at it#i like to call it a medusa painting style#if you look directly at it it'll turn you to stone
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do you guys ever just think about tsuna and want to cry your eyes out and never stop? asking for a friend
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr text post#sawada tsunayoshi#this is about a tumblr post i've only written and posted in my head#tsuna's just so#tsuna's just /so/#i CAN finish this sentence btw it's the thing#because tsuna wears his heart on his sleeve and the shape of his soul is always reflected in his eyes#because the essence of tsuna's very being is always laid bare for the whole world to see and grasp and do with it as its see fit#and still he'll always continue to keep it within reach. always /so/ caringly and kindly and lovingly and mercifully within reach#it makes you want to fall on your knees and worship him#it makes you want to fall on your knees and weep#it makes you want to fall on your knees and throw up#it makes you want to fall on your knees and love him love him /love him/-#you will never deserve him (he's /so/ very grateful for the love you have for him)#you will be worthy of him if it's the last thing you do (he will tear the world apart before ever allowing it to touch even a hair out of#you)#TSUNA'S JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the love he has? the love he /gives/? the love that's given to him? the love that's given /back/ to him?#loving tsuna will not hurt you (this is a lie)#tsuna's love will not hurt you (you couldn't care less even if it does)#loving tsuna will not save him (you will sooner tear the world apart than ever surrendering to this truth)#BANGING AND SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS DO YOU GUYS GET IT#you know what maybe i WILL cry my eyes out about this and never stop 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹
This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one#and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody#i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever#my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg#im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already#but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote#anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did#and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on#im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay#tw blood#<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood#i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice#catie.art.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#matador au
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30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41
#wtFOCK#Skam#Zoë Loockx#Senne De Smet#Zoenne#LOVE HURTS#Veerle Dejaeger#Nathan Naenen#wtFOCKEdit#SkamverseDaily#SkamRemakesEdit#s3#3x08#I remember people coming to talk to me about this clip the day it dropped bc they were happy about it and I was like…#have we watched the same clip? excuse me I’m still picking up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor#no but really I understand them both so deeply here it’s the worsttttt 💔#first she’s making the right decision but that doesn’t make it a happy moment. it’s SO SAD SHE IS HAVING TO MAKE THIS DECISION SHE’S 16!#OFC if we were still in Zoë’s POV this would have never been an issue but the writers really thought they’d convince me +#my babies had unlearned how to communicate SMH they were the best at it okay? this right here is EFFING BULLSHIT#but considering it’s what they were going for I get why they’re acting the way they’re acting and it hurts#because Zoë thinks Senne wants for her to make Viktor pay for everything he’s done wrong in his life and she’s feeling like her own trauma#and how hard it still is for her to talk about it isn’t being acknowledged by him…#and Senne oh he really wants her to do it bc 1- he feels that what went on is his fault & he desperately needs his half brother to PAY +#FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER! HE’S KNOWN THE GUY HIS WHOLE LIFE (PROBABLY KNOWS THE ACCIDENT IN THE PAST MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL ACCIDENT)#they have history and that makes everything even more awful bc he doesn’t understand why Zoë doesn’t feel like testifying#I don't believe that Senne would have been this incisive hadn't he ~known~ her ab*ser#I mean I think he would have accepted her decision way more easily if he didn't feel responsible for what happened 😔#she’s been feeling all alone in her anguish and at the same time starts pushing him away#it’s painful to see how the two of them are trying here. He’s so trying to support her no matter what#and she’s so trying to be strong for herself but her eyes are teary she can barely look at him it’s too much 😭❤️🩹
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me petting my cat at 3am after 0 indication that he is actually hurt: r u okay would u tell me if you were ever not okay
my cat probably: god she’s at it again
#im so excited to tell my therapist that i managed to catastrophize EVERYTHING#playing with my cat with laser pointer: oh my god what if i shine it into his eyes and he goes blind what if i’ve already done that baby#baby please tell me you can still see clearly#wiggles my cat: oh my god am is this shaking him#baby baby will you tell me if you have a concussion from this treatment#cat doesnt jump onto bed: IS UR PAW HURTING#my mom is like u have got to stop worrying hes gonna sense ur stress and ur gonna give him anxiety#and then i got stressed about that 😭😭😭😭 LIKE BABY NO BABY DONT BE STRESSED U R SMOL I WILL PROTECT U#delete later#im not gonna say the extent of the rabbit hole that my anxiety drove me to#i wanted to draw tn but my apple pen died and this is whag i chose to do instead
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You know what my coworkers might’ve made fun of me for having so much "useless shit" in my go bag, but I guarantee they're never gonna do that again bc they've all used every single thing have in there 😌
#not snz#i mean minus my clothes obviously lmao#but i carry those stupid little oxygen cans on me#and they've always been like 'you're never gonna use those and you're wasting your storage'#every single one of these mfers has taken a hit of oxygen LMAO#the smoke is killer like holy shit#and I've got a hand washing bottle which everyone has also used#and several people have taken turns using my portable heating pad#like i better not ever hear these dudes saying shit about what i pack ever again lmaoooo#there are never any complaints about any of the medical supplies i carry but god forbid a bitch have a heating pad in cade the cramps hit#anyway guess who's still at work 😔#and taking overnight duty so everyone else can sleep 😔#and overhead said i could leave tomorrow if there's no flare ups but guess what's happening 😔#I'm never gonna get out of here 😭😭 I'm so fucking tired and i swear I'm gonna have fucking lung damage or something#i have my respirators but idk how much those are actually helping#i mean it's better than nothing obviously like i think they're holding up pretty well but still#my throat hurts and my eyes burn and my lungs ache like girl get me out of here 😭#hell on earth 😭
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Just finished watching httyd 2 again
Safe to say that I cried......again.
Idc how many times I've watched it, httyd 2 will always be my favorite movie out of the three and it never fails to make me cry and feel the same excitement from when I first watched it. Even after thw, I still thought part 2 was the best for me...idk it's just something about it (literally the whole movie) that's always made me enjoy it sososososo much. I remember when I was younger seeing it and being like "nope this is my favorite" and I'm still standing by it today 🧍♀️
#Now I'm off on a journey to watch part 3....#I usually avoid that one tbh because I fricken bawl my eyes out when I watch that specific one#I do for httyd 2 but man.... I mean we all know the ending that's why I don't watch it as much 😭#I actually don't entirely hate it... I still love it but it hurts knowing what's gonna happen 🥲#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#hiccup how to train your dragon#httyd 2#httyd the hidden world#httyd thw
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I need to go home asap so I can cry properly cause this is not. it.
#why you gotta do my boy like that#binging the whole series hyping myself up for the moment when he and gray would finally become friends or smth#and he just#fuckind DIES#like why would you do that😭😭😭😭#what was the reason?????#its beautifully tragic but STILL#like#i will never be able to reread this without crying now lord help my soul😭😭#came back to reread after i fell off during a hiatus a couple years ago#riding on the high of a cool potential friendship#and BAM#spirits crushed#dreams OBLITERATED#ik im pretty late to the fandom but by god i need an au right fucking now#this is sickening i need to cry desperately#my eyes fucking hurt😭😭😭#weak hero#donald na
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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(guy with chronic migraines voice) you will never guess what unfortunate circumstance has befallen me today.
#ow. :/#rimi talks#i want to keep working on the final scene in tcos ch3 but my eyes AND my fucky arm both want me dead. alas....!!!#i mean im still gonna do it but i need to manage to get myself. my laptop. my tea. and my snacky#all back to my room. im currently a lump on the couch in the living room with my laptop but he's almost dead.#tea is in the pot on the stove. snaccy is in the pantry. you see how this is many steps#AND on top of it all my poor dog will want to follow me but he hurt his paw and he's limping#and i feel SO bad going anywhere but the living room bc he wants to follow me but it clearly hurts him to do so!!!#and i cannot carry him bc he is 90 lbs 😭#this is a struggle household today
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My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you
#i straight up asked her ''do you really think im a liar? do you think you raised me to be a liar?'' and she said ''yeah i guess so'' 😭#literally would rather live in fantasy land than have a conversation where she takes accountability for hurting me#its always bc she had a hard life and couldve made mine harder and everything im upset about is because of a man#aint no man tried to drag me by my hair out of the room because i refused to stop talking about how uncomfortable i was with a violent man#moving in! nuh uh girl that was YOU. and aint no man busted down my door on multiple occasions to beat my ass for#*checks notes* not wanting to continue an emotional conversation after i had already started crying and wasnt able to communicate#no sir that was YOU. that was all you and aint no man was even in the house during those times#and definitely no man ever told me that i was manipulating you and being selfish for telling you that letting a man move back in after he#broke into our house and attacked you made me feel unsafe and made my life worse.#no man brought up how traumatizing ur childhood was and then threatened to send me to live with ur rapist daddy#when i said id like to spend the summer with my dad if my only alternative was living with you and a man who threw knives at your head#and tried to strangle you several times#no man fucking did those things to me. no man ever told me i wasnt allowed to be traumatized by his violent behavior bc he had it worse as a#kid. YOU said that to me. many times. every time i ever brought up my pain to you. and you still fucking do that#you sprayed windex into your mothers eyes when you were 23 during a fight but if i start yelling after you push me to talk to u#and then insult me when im honest then suddenly its ''i Never acted as bad as you did and my parents were so much worse''#no. i fucking remember girl. i was alive for that. you were a nightmare and your parents deserved it#but you werent always a peach to me and when i talk about that its not an insult its the fucking truth#and i cant come to meet you where youre at because youre no longer in the thick of a traumatic and dangerous situation#you and your man are settled down and u felt safe enough to marry him and you run the house and earn all the money#and you've done a lot of work to heal yourself and be better but that man and i had to meet you were you were at when you were at your worst#in order for you to feel safe and secure enough to start that process. and now this is Not me at my worse#i shielded and protected you from my very worst because i always felt like if you saw your kid coming undone it would hurt you#but if you cant even meet me in the middle now then we cant have the relationship you want. it would be a lie#it would be a lie and it would be a betrayal of myself. bc i cant be honest with you right now#every time i try you take it personally and we get into a fight. so dont act like my distance and privacy#is some sort of slight against you or a punishment. i am trying to keep the peace
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WAIT YOURE A MOTHER 3 FAN TOO????? BEST BLOGGER ON THIS WEBSITE FR FR
NJDASNJKDAS YEAH YEAH for the few people who have known me long enough to know my Origin Story. I actually joined tumblr ten years ago as a Mom 3 ask blog :") It literally was the Start of my online presence here and I hold it so near and dear to my heart 🥰
#I will always be a Mom 3 fan at heart. That was my ORIGIN baby#I had that ask blog before I even had THIS blog#Which I'm p sure turns ten next month. GOD.#Anyway asktwinheroes started in January of 2014 I believe. So yeah. A DECADE ago#Which is INSANE to me#Anyway I love Mom 3 so so so much it's such a brilliant game#It's funny and charming and heartbreakingly sad sometimes#I bawled my EYES out at the ending. The first time I played it my mom literally thought smth was wrong#She was like ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU HURT??#Me: C-C-CLAUSSSSS 😭😭😭#Claus still remains one of my comfort characters and one of my FAVORITE characters in all of media of all time.#PERIODT!!!#ANYWAY yeah I am a Mother 3 fan...to put it lightly...LOL#Shima answers questions#Mother 3#Mother series
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#robin processes emotions on main#would it be evil to stay home from family thanksgiving because I don't think I can do all my homework if I go. would it be selfish#it probably would be selfish#I'm just feeling overwhelmed tonight because I remembered All Of The Homework due on Tuesday next week and I was planning#to do most of that homework today but there's more than I thought and I also chose to do a thanksgiving dinner and online games#with the uncle who also stayed home from family thanksgiving this year. and it was fantastic and I wouldn't trade that for the world#but it was last minute and I'm SO OVERWHELMED NOW 😭#and I just DROPPED THE PIZZA SAUCE from the pizza he bought me and it was just the last straw folks. now there's pizza sauce#on the floor and tears in my eyes and my throat hurts. and I'm aware this whole upset is selfish but STILL#still#wellllll anyway sorry#big sniff#I'm fine and everything will be fine this is just a lose/lose situation#also I'm not feeling well physically and driving four hours tomorrow for a stressful event sounds really sucky :(#four hours round trip for like six hours in person
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i love when people say "read my pinned/dni before interacting!!!" and then their pinned post is written in a "fancy" font. babygirl. i cant read that
#ough my eyes still hurt from trying to read that shit and i still have no idea what half of it said 😭#☆.txt#if you do this im just not going to interact at all 😭😭
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