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seanpultz · 7 months ago

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The Three Stooges in The Haunted Mansion

The Three Stooges approach Gracey Mansion, which resembles the Joel Rathbone mansion, a Gothic Revival Pointed-style villa designed by Alexander Jackson (A.J.) Davis, in the upper Hudson River Valley area of Albany, New York.

Moe: (sternly) Alright, knuckleheads, we're here. This is the place, Gracey Mansion. It's supposed to be haunted!

Larry: (stutters) H-h-haunted, Moe? You don't really think there are… you know… ghosts here, do ya?

Curly: (excitedly) Oooh, ghosts! Can I play with 'em, Moe? Can I, huh? Can I?

Moe: (rolls eyes) Play with them? You'll probably scare 'em away with that mug of yours! Now, let's go in and check it out, before I decide to scare you two for real!

Larry: (nervously) But Moe, what if we get separated? We could get lost in this creepy place!

Moe: (exasperated) Lost? In a mansion? It's not like it's a corn maze, Larry. Now, stick together, and for goodness' sake, try not to break anything.

Curly: (innocently) Like what, Moe?

Moe: (sighs) Like your heads, you ninny! Now, let's go in before the spooks hear your bellyaching!

Entering the queuing area through a pair of ornate gates, The Stooges find themselves in the mansion's nearly-neglected gardens and grounds. The queuing path leads guests past a knocked over birdbath, a black carriage hearse led by an invisible horse, and finally leads into the awning.

Moe: (squinting) What's this mess? It looks like a tornado went through here. Did the ghosts have a yard sale and forget to clean up?

Larry: (swallows hard) I-I don't think it's a good idea to make fun of the ghosts, Moe. They might not like that.

Curly: (laughing nervously) Maybe they had a ghostly hoedown! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (bonks Curly on the head with his fist) Let's get going before Larry turns into a human popsicle from his own sweat.

As they approached the black carriage hearse, the invisible horse seemed to snort, causing Larry to jump and cling to Moe.

Larry: (whispers) Moe, did you hear that? The horse talked to me!

Moe: (sarcastically) Oh sure, Larry. It's probably just waiting for you to feed it your brain cells. Now, move it!

Curly: (excitedly) Can we take a ride, Moe? It's like a magical pumpkin carriage! Woo-woo-woo!

Moe: (shaking his head) Not now, Curly. First, we need to find out where we're supposed to go. I don't trust you two to not get us lost in a straight line.

The Stooges are greeted at a gate with several busts of a family that once lived in the mansion that killed each other over inheriting a large fortune.

Moe: (nods) Ah, the family that killed each other over money, huh? Nothing spookier than relatives fighting over a few bucks.

Larry: (swallows nervously) Maybe we shouldn't mess with them, Moe. They don't look too happy.

Curly: (laughing) Oh, they're just playing hide and go seek with their heads, Larry! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (grabs Curly by the nostril using his pinky finger) You're one step away from playing hide and go seek with your own brains.

Embossed musical instruments on a crypt that once touched a haunted tune mysteriously plays.

Moe: (stops in his tracks) What the…? Say, Larry? (Taps Larry's shoulder)

Larry: (Startled) Woah! (accidently pushes Moe into the Embossed musical instruments on a crypt. A trumpet is imprinted on his forehead.) Oh, gee! I'm sorry, Moe. It was an accident. Honest.

Moe: (reassuringly) That's alright. Accidents do happen.

Larry: (swallows hard) They do?

Moe: (puts his arm around Larry's shoulder) Sure they do. (leading Larry to the crypt with the Embossed musical instruments) Now, why don't you come over here and check out this very interesting crypt I just found. Touch one of those instruments and they play. Go head, touch one.

Larry: (sees a violin) Oh! (Touches it and he hears a violin playing) Say, Moe! You're right. I can hear a violin playing.

Moe by this point drops the nice act and kicks Larry in his posterior and Larry's face hit the tomb. Moe grabs Larry by the hair and pounds his face into the crypt repeatedly.

Moe: NOW, YOU'RE HEARING BELLS! (shoves Larry)

Water and bubbles emerge from a crypt belonging to a Captain Culpepper Clyne.

Moe: (pointing to the crypt) Hey, you two, check out Captain Clyne's final bath over here! He must've had a real splashy burial.

Larry: (swiping at his face) Moe, you're just… (his voice trails off as he watches the water) Do you think he's okay in there?

Curly: (excitedly) Can we take a bath, too? It looks like fun.

Moe: (rolls eyes) You'd like that, wouldn't ya? Well, I don't think the ghost of Captain Clyne would appreciate the company. Let's keep moving before we get in too deep with these spooks.

Larry: (nervously) Deep? Like, as in water deep, Moe?

Moe: (exasperated) No, you dolt, trouble deep! Now come on, before we all get soggier than a bowl of alphabet soup.

Words inexplicably appear upon on a tomb belonging to a poetess named Prudence Pock.

Moe: (reads the tomb) "Prudence Pock, the poetess, lost her head in thought and her body to a block." What kind of ghost writes poetry?

Larry: (whispers) Maybe she's trying to tell us something, Moe. Like, we should be careful or we'll end up like her.

Curly: (innocently) Maybe she's asking for a little help with her next rhyme, Larry. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (To Curly) Pick out two.

Curly: One, Two.

Moe pokes Curly in the eyes with two of his fingers. Curly winces. Larry starts to laugh and Moe slaps him across the face.

They reach the servant's entrance where we enter the mansion.

Curly: (whimpers) Moe, I-I don't wanna go in there. It's dark and… (swallows hard) and spooky!

Moe: (slaps Curly) Snap out of it, Curly! You're not afraid of a little dark, are you?

Curly: (rubbing his cheek) Oh, no, Moe. It's not the dark I'm afraid of… it's the ghosts!

Moe: (twists Curly's ears) Ghosts, schmosts! They're just a bunch of floating sheets with eye holes. Now, get in there before I make your ears look like a pair of pretzels!

Curly: (grumbling) Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going.

Moe: (turns to Larry) Go in, Larry!

Larry: (defiant) I'll go in when I'm ready!

Moe: (raises an eyebrow) Are you ready?

Larry: (nonconfrontational) Yeah, I'm ready.

The Stooges enter the elegant-but-spartan foyer as a distant pipe organ plays a dirge-like version of Grim Grinning Ghosts.

Larry: (whispering to Curly) I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Curly: I thought this was Orlando.

Larry does a double take in response to this.

Following this hallway, we enter a foyer, which features a fireplace to the left side. There is a picture hanging above the fireplace, which shows a handsome, young man (quite possibly the owner of the mansion).

Moe: (examining the portrait) Well, well, well. If it isn't the poster boy for "I've-got-more-money-than-sense" staring back at us. What's his deal, Larry?

Larry: (looks up nervously) I think he's… he's the ghost that haunts the place, Moe.

Curly: (squeaks) A handsome ghost? Maybe he's lonely and wants to play tag!

Moe: (rolls his eyes) Tag? You'd probably trip over your own two feet and end up hugging the floor, you knucklehead. Now, let's keep moving. We've got a mansion to explore before the real party starts.

Larry: (swallows hard) Party? What kind of party are we throwing for ghosts, Moe?

Moe: (pats Larry on the back) A party with a punch, Larry, a surprise!

Larry: (giddy) Punch? Oh, I like punch.

Moe: Oh, you like punch?

Larry: Yeah.

Moe: Well, here come one.

Moe is about to punch Larry in the face when he hears a mysterious voice booming out from the darkness.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): When hinges creak in doorless chambers. When strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker when the air is deathly still… That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.

Larry: (squeaks) Moe, did you hear that?

Curly: (nervously) Who's that talking? Moe, is it a ghost?

Moe: (transfixed) I'm not sure, you two. But I think I know where that voice is coming from. (He points to the portrait above the fireplace) Take a look at this!

The portrait, previously depicting a young man, now shows a decaying corpse with a sinister smile, much like the character from the story "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

Curly: (eyes wide) Moe, I don't think he's ready for his close-up anymore. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Larry: (swallows hard) Moe, do you think we should be here? Maybe we're not welcome.

Moe: (snaps out of it) Welcome? Who needs an invitation to a party like this?

Once the picture's transformation is complete, one of the walls opens up next to the picture, revealing an octagonal room.

The Stooges enter this octagonal room from the Foyer. Four paintings (A bearded gentleman holding a document, A pretty young lady holding a parasol, An old woman holding a rose and A man in a bowler hat) flanked by candle-wielding gargoyles, hang from the walls in this chamber.

Moe: (looks around the octagonal room) Well, if this isn't the VIP lounge for spooks, I don't know what is. Look at all these fancy paintings.

Curly: (points to the pretty young lady) Moe, she's waving at me! (The painting's eyes seem to follow him as he walks)

Moe: (rolls eyes) Sure, Curly, she's probably just waving goodbye to your sanity. Now, keep it together. We don't want to scare off the ghosts before the grand tour.

Larry: (swallows hard) Maybe we should be more respectful, Moe. They might not like us poking around.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host. Our tour begins here in this gallery. Here, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now.

The doors The Stooges enter slam shut, The room begins to stretch upwards, the paintings on the walls elongating with it to reveal a comically gruesome end for each subject: The bearded gentleman holding a document is revealed to be wearing only his undergarments from the waist down and standing atop a lit keg of dynamite. The pretty young lady holding a parasol is revealed to be balancing on a fraying tightrope above the gaping jaws of an alligator. The old woman holding a rose is revealed to be sitting atop a tall gravestone, at the bottom of which is a stone bust of her husband George with a hatchet embedded in his head. The man in a bowler hat is revealed to be sitting on the shoulders of another man who sits on the shoulders of a third man who is waist deep in quicksand.

Moe: (sarcastically) Well, isn't this a real home makeover, "Ghost Edition"? Who knew dead people had such a flair for dramatic interior design?

Curly: (gulps) Moe, do you think we should be laughing?

Moe: (snaps fingers in Curly's face) Snap out of it! These ghosts are just trying to mess with us. Let's show 'em who's boss! (He struts over to the man standing on the shoulders in quicksand) Hey, buddy! Quit playing king of the hill with your ghostly pals and tell us where the real fun is!

Curly: (points to the portrait of the young lady) Moe, look at her! She's juggling dynamite and playing hopscotch with alligators!

Larry: (stutters) And that old woman… she's got more drama in her portrait than a soap opera! What's with the hatchet in George's head?

Moe: (laughing) George looks like he had a rough night. Maybe he forgot to put the toilet seat down. (Pauses) You know what? Let's get a closer look. Maybe we'll find their secret for staying so… lively.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination — hmm?

Larry: Moe, I don't like where this is going!

Moe: What do you mean, "where this is going"? We're already in a haunted mansion, where else could it go?

The Ghost Host (offscreen): And consider this dismaying observation, This chamber has no windows and no doors… which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"

The Ghost Host laughs as The Stooges focus on the ceiling.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Of course, there's always my way.

The lights go out and lightning flashes above. The ceiling vanishes and gives a view of the mansion's cupola, where the skeletal corpse of the Ghost Host sways from a noose tied to the rafters.

Moe: Nyeeeeeeeah!

After a few seconds, the room becomes pitch black and a dreadful scream is heard making Larry and Curly scream too, followed by the sound of bones shattering. Just as suddenly as it had begun, the horror ended, and the lights flickered back on. They blinked in the sudden brightness, their eyes adjusting to find that the skeletal corpse was gone, and in its place, a wall had slid open, revealing a hidden passage.

Moe still tweaked by what he saw, suddenly realize that Larry and Curly are clinging on to Moe in a bear hug of terror. With a huff of annoyance, he released them, causing both Stooges to fall on the floor.

Moe: Would you two quit acting like a couple of scared rabbits?

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you prematurely. The real chills come later. Now, as they say, ‘look alive,’ and we’ll continue our little tour. And let’s all stay together, please.

Moe: (calling out to the unseen Ghost Host) Why, you spooky skeleton. If I ever find you, I'll tear your tonsils out and use'em as earmuffs.

Larry: I think he's already dead, Moe.

Moe (turns to Larry) Shut up! (Slaps Larry across the face. He then turns to Curly and slaps him across the face too)

Curly: (wincing from the pain) What was that for?!

Moe: That was for what you were thinking!

Curly: I wasn't thinking of anything.

Moe: Good, Let keep it that way!

They continue onward down a long hallway, leading to a short queue that is used to board the Doom Buggies.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): "And now, a carriage approaches to carry you into the boundless realm of the supernatural. Once on board, remain safely seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside. And watch your children, please."

Moe: (grumbling) Great, we're riding in a ghost-mobile. How original.

Larry: (swallows hard) Do you think it's safe, Moe? It's all rickety and everything.

Curly: (clapping) It's like a roller coaster, but with dead people! Woo-woo-woo!

Moe: (rolls eyes) Just sit down and keep your arms and legs inside. We wouldn't want to lose you to the afterlife before the fun starts, Curly.

They all clamber into the Doom Buggy, Larry and Curly squeezed together on one side, Moe sitting comfortably in the middle with an arm on the back of each of their seats.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you. And heed this warning: the spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times.

The safety bar is lowered Locking Larry, Moe and Curly into their respective Doom Buggy.

The Doom Buggy enters a rather steep stairwell and pass under a landing where a floating candelabra floats in the darkness.

Moe: (grabbing the safety bar) Whoa, this is more action than I get on a merry-go-round with a sticky horse!

Larry: (whispers) Moe, I don't think we're in the kiddie ride anymore.

Curly: (gulps) And what's with those paintings? They're changing!

Moe: (laughing) Changing? That's just a trick of the light.

As they glide through the hallway, the paintings transform with each flash of lightning. The woman becomes a snarling tiger, the sloop is engulfed by a terrifying storm, the knight's flesh falls away to reveal a skeletal figure, and the serene Greek scene morphs into a haunting Medusa, turning any who dare gaze upon her to stone.

Curly: (eyes wide) Moe, I think they're trying to tell us something.

Moe: (skeptical) Yeah? Like don't mess with their home decor?

Larry: (stutters nervously) M-M-Moe, maybe we should get out of here. These ghosts are getting a little too… too…

Moe: Too what, Larry? Too real for ya?

Larry: (swallows hard) Y-y-yes, Moe. Too real.

Moe: (chuckles) Relax, you wimps. It's all just smoke and mirrors. Now, keep your eyes peeled for any real fun. This is the Haunted Mansion, after all.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Oh yes, and no flash pictures, please. We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.

Leaving the hallway, we enter into a rectangular library, which is filled from floor-to-ceiling by shelves lined with hundreds of books. Phantom hands pull books from the shelves. An empty chair rocks gently back and forth, and a ladder slides to and fro as an unseen force searches for a good read. Among the shelves, marble busts glare at The Stooges as they move along in the gloom.

Moe: (whispers) Look at all these books! Maybe we can borrow one to teach you two how to think.

Larry: (swallows hard) Moe, I think those books are… occupied.

Curly: (laughing nervously) Maybe they're looking for a ghost story that doesn't have us in it!

Moe: (noticing Larry's distress) What's got you all riled up, Larry? You're sweating more than a snowman in July.

Larry: (swallows hard) The marble heads, Moe! They're following us!

Curly: (excitedly) Can we play tag with 'em? Maybe they're just lonely.

Moe: (rolls eyes) Lonely? They're not lonely, Larry, they're just watching us for the fun of it. Besides, they can't catch us in this thing. (Pats the Doom Buggy) We're on a ghost-proof ride.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions, only ghost stories, of course, and marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known.

Leaving the library, we enter the Music Room. In the room, our heroes find an invisible ghost playing a Rachmaninoff-style arrangement of Grim Grinning Ghosts on the piano. The ghost's shadow can be seen cast upon the floor, while a storm brews outside.

Moe: (listening to the haunting music) Hey, Larry, can you play the piano like that when you're not even there?

Larry: (swallows hard) Moe, that's not funny. I think we should get out of here before the ghosts get… ghosty.

Curly: (clapping along) Bravo! Encore! (He accidentally hits Moe's hand, causing Moe to yelp in pain)

Moe: Knock it off, Knucklehead!

The Ghost Host (offscreen): They have all retired here, to the Haunted Mansion. Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here. But there’s room for 1,000. Any volunteers?

Moe: (grinning) You know what that means, don't ya?

Larry: (swallows hard) N-n-no, Moe, what does it mean?

Moe: (chuckles) It means we're the newest members of the ghostly neighborhood watch!

Curly: (laughs) Oooh, we're ghostbusters now!

Next, we enter the main stairwell of the Mansion. Here in this M.C. Escher-like void the stairs go right-side up, upside-down, sideways, slantways, longways, back ways, front ways, square ways, and any other ways that you can think of. It is on these steps we see the ectoplasmic footprints of the Mansion's ghostly residents.

Moe: (looks around, bewildered) What kind of architect was on a hallucinogen when they designed this place?

Larry: (nervous) Moe, I don't think we're supposed to walk on these stairs. They're… they're floating!

Moe: (irritated) We're in a Doom Buggy, Of course were not supposed to walk on those stairs, nitwit!

Curly: (bounces in his seat) Can we slide down the banister, Moe? It looks like a ghostly rollercoaster!

Moe: (rolls eyes) If you two don't stop acting like you've never seen stairs before, I'll show you how to float like a ghost with a good smack upside the head. Now, keep it together. We're just getting started.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Well, if you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour. A charming "ghostess" will be on hand to take your application.

In the blackness, glowing, blinking eyes transform into the pattern on the wallpaper.

Moe: (swatting at the wallpaper) Quit playing games with us, you wall-eyed wallpaper!

Larry: (stutters) Moe, I think those are just… decorations.

Curly: (squinting) Moe, maybe the ghosts are playing peek-a-boo.

Moe: (sarcastically) Peek-a-boo, huh? That's original.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills.

They pass a second floor passageway that seems to go on forever, lined with doors. A lone candelabra floats in midair halfway down it. Flanking the hallway entrance are a subtly-moving Suit of Armour and an armchair designed to have a "face."

Moe: (eyes wide) Now, that's what I call a floating candelabra with style! (swipes at it with his hat) Look at it go, will ya?

Larry: (swallows hard, staring at the Suit of Armor) Moe, do you see that knight? It's… it's moving!

Moe: (rolls eyes) Sure, Larry. It's probably just doing the cha-cha.

Curly: (pointing at the armchair) Moe, look! That chair is smiling at me! And it's got teeth! (Curly screams and ducks under the safety bar.)

Moe: (slaps Larry and Curly) Will you two knock it off? It's just a chair. Now sit up, or I'll make you walk the plank in this ghostly gala.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Shhh, listen!

A keening sounding like a banshee is heard.

Larry: (swallows hard) Moe, what was that noise? It sounded like… a banshee!

Moe: (nervously) A banshee? Oh, that's just the… the… the ghostly AC unit. It's a little out of whack, that's all.

Curly: (shaking) Moe, I don't think it's supposed to sound like that.

They ride past an alcove-like conservatory, the space choked with decaying and overgrown plants and vegetation. Outside the huge glass walls is a misty landscape, with only the gnarled limbs of leafless trees visible in the gloom.

Moe: (swallows hard, trying to keep his cool) Alright, you two, we're just passing through some fancy ghost's jungle gym. Nothing to worry about.

Larry: (sweating) Moe, I think we've got company.

Curly: (whispers) What's that, Larry? A ghostly petting zoo? Can we feed 'em ghost peanuts?

A raven perches on top of a stand with a withered funeral wreath, and in the center of the chamber is a coffin whose occupant is trying to get out - skeletal hands attempt to push the lid open saying "Let me out! Let me outta here!", which based on the nails sticking through the wood was meant to stay sealed.

Moe: (swallows hard) Larry, what do you think is in that coffin?

Larry: (stutters) I-I dunno, Moe. But it sounds like someone's not having a good time.

Curly: (peeks over the side of the Doom Buggy) Maybe it's just a ghost playing hide and seek with us! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (swipes at Larry and Curly) Keep your heads in here, you two. And remember, no feeding the dead things.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through.

The Stooge's Doom Buggy is then carried backward down an ominous corridor, a series of doors on either side of the car. Growls, screams, maniacal laughter and pleading voices emanate from behind them, as if something is trying to get out. Doors bend, as if they are breathing, knockers clack and rattle, and the walls are adorned with some "family portraits" of corpses.

Moe: (swallows hard) Well, well, well. It seems the ghosts are throwing us a surprise party. How thoughtful.

Larry: (stutters) M-M-Moe, I don't think it's a party. Sounds more like a… a…

Curly: (interrupts) A ghostly hoedown? Can we join in, Larry? I know some spooky dance moves!

Moe: (rolls eyes) Will you two pipe down? It's just the mansion saying hello. (pauses as the doors around them begin to breathe) Okay, maybe it's saying hello in a very creepy way.

At the end of the hall lies a grandfather clock, with its arms spinning wildly backwards and the clock striking 13. A shadow of a clawed hand passes over the face of the clock.

Moe: (swallows hard) Well, look at the time. It's… it's…

Larry: (nervously) It's… 13 o'clock, Moe.

Curly: (innocently) Time for a ghostly tea party? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (sternly) I'm gonna moida you if you don't shut up!

We next enter the shadowy Séance Circle. The buggies travel in a circle facing a large table and high-backed chair in the center of the room (a raven perches on the back of the chair). Above this table floats a crystal ball containing the spirit of Madame Leota, chanting incantations that summon the spirits to appear.

Madam Leota: "Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever they’re at!

Moe: (swallows hard, staring at the floating crystal ball) Well, well, well. It's the ghostly fortune teller. What does she see in her crystal ball, Larry?

Larry: (swallows hard) I-I dunno, Moe. But I don't think it's winning lottery numbers.

Curly: (peers into the crystal ball) Can I see, Moe? Maybe she'll tell me where all my lost marbles are.

Moe: (swipes at Curly) Will you keep your mitts out of there?

Madam Leota: Rap on a table — it’s time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond…Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine! Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond! Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by ringing a bell!"

The Ghost Host (offscreen): "The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They’re assembling for a swinging wake, and they’ll be expecting me… I’ll see you all a little later."

Next, we travel along a balcony overlooking the hall. A major party is underway as a multitude of transparent spirits engage in all sorts of revelry. A long dining table covered with decayed floral arrangements and dusty silverware plays host to a birthday feast, and whenever the orange-haired birthday ghost blows out the candles on a birthday cake at the head of the table, the other ghosts seated there vanish, only to reappear when the candles light again; nearby, an old woman disappears and reappears in a rocking chair. Several haunts drift into the hall from a hearse parked in a doorway, while cloaked wraith-like phantoms fly in through the broken windows from a stormy night outside. While a number of ghosts - including the notorious Pickwick - gadabout on the chandeliers above the room, a pair of duelists emerge from their respective paintings on the far wall and take shots at each other, forever reenacting their age-old feud. The open floor whirls with waltzing couples as a ghastly organist plays Grim Grinning Ghosts on a pipe organ, where tiny spirits emerge from the pipes.

Moe: (whistles) Would you look at this shindig! They're throwing us a surprise party after all.

Larry: (swallows nervously) Moe, I don't think they're here for us. It's their party, not ours.

Curly: (clapping) Can we join, Moe? I know how to waltz like nobody's business!

Moe: (chuckles) Sure, Curly. Just don't trip over any ghostly toes, or they'll think you're trying to cut in line for the punch bowl. (swipes at a floating hors d'oeuvre) And Larry, don't go sneaking food. They might not take kindly to party crashers.

Larry: (swallows hard) Moe, I'm not here for the food. But look, those duelists! They're shooting at each other!

Moe: (unimpressed) Oh, please. They couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. They've probably been doing this so long they forgot how to miss.

Curly: (laughs nervously) And what about the lady in the rocking chair, Moe? She keeps disappearing!

Moe: (rolls eyes) It's just a ghostly magic trick. She's probably just playing hide and seek with the furniture. Now, let's not interrupt their festivities. We've got a whole mansion to explore.

Leaving the Grand Hall, we ride through a dark, dusty and cluttered attic, where the sound of a beating heart and a sinister piano rendition of "The Wedding March" can be heard. Among the brick-a-brac are several pieces of wedding paraphernalia and decor, and five different marriage paintings, depicting the same bride but with a different groom in each. As guests watch, the heads of each of the grooms disappear, only to reappear moments later.

Larry: (swallows hard) Do you think they're playing hide and seek with their heads?

Curly: (nervously) I don't know, Larry, but it sure looks like it. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! (swipes at one of the floating heads, causing it to disappear and reappear in another painting)

Moe: (swats Curly's hand away) Cut it out, Curly! If you mess with those paintings, you're going to give me a real headache.

Larry: (pointing) Moe, look at the pianist! He's… he's not even touching the piano!

Moe: (rolls eyes) It's a ghost playing, Larry. They've got their own set of rules. Maybe they use ghostly sheet music. Now, keep your paws to yourself and let's keep moving.

After passing the source of the music, a broken-down piano with an invisible pianist (only a shadow of a man cast on the wall and keys), we come face-to-face with the ghost of the bride, Constance Hatchaway.

Constance Hatchaway: In sickness and in… wealth. You may now kiss the bride. We’ll live happily ever after. Till death do us part. Here comes the bride. As long as we both shall live. For better or for… worse. I do. I did.

She laughs while, periodically, a spectral hatchet appears in her hands.

Moe: (quickly) Alright, you two, we're making a break for it! (shoves Larry and Curly towards the window)

Larry: (stutters) But Moe, that's a long way down! And it's… it's… dark outside!

Curly: (nervously) Can we slide down the bannister again? It was so much fun!

Moe: (exasperated) If you don't move, I'll make you fly like a ghost! (pushes them both through the open window)

Following leaving the Attic window, the Doombuggies move down the balcony outside the house and down a flight of stairs backwards. A raven caws at guests from a tree branch. The shapes of rising spirits can be seen everywhere.

Moe: (swallows hard, pushing Larry and Curly) Let's get going before that bird decides to join us for a midnight snack!

Larry: (stutters) S-s-snack? Moe, I don't think it's after us. It's just a bird.

Curly: (laughs nervously) Maybe it's trying to say "hello" in ghost-bird language! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (rolls eyes) Sure, Larry. Just keep telling yourself that. It's probably practicing for its role in the "Raven's Revenge" play.

They continue moving backwards down the stairs, with the ghostly shapes growing denser as they descend.

Moe: (whispers) And don't trip, you two. We don't need a real-life slapstick show.

Larry: (swallows nervously) I-I'll try not to, Moe.

Curly: (whispers) But what if we do trip? Will we bump into the ghosts?

Moe: (swipes at Curly) Only if they're looking for a good laugh, you ninny. Now, keep it together!

Upon reaching the ground, the graveyard Caretaker can be seen with his dog, the two of them utterly petrified by the sight before them. Music is all around, while playful spooks pop-up from behind their tombstones. To the left, a group of five phantoms play a flute, a horn, a bagpipe, a harp, and pound on a tombstone to create an unearthly vibe. A King and Queen balance on a see-saw while a Duchess swings from a tree branch while she drinks a cup of tea. In the very back a skeletal wolf is seen howling at the moon.

Larry: (whispers) Looks like the ghosts are playing a symphony of spooks!

Moe: (whispers back) More like a garage band from the other side. They're just trying to keep the party alive.

Curly: (excitedly) Maybe they need a drummer! (starts to play on the tombstones with his fingers) Boom, boom, tish!

Moe: (swipes at Curly's hand) Quiet down!

On the other side of the path, five Singing Busts come into view, bearing very vividly lit, expressive faces as they sing:

♪ When the crypt doors creak ��

♪ And the tombstones quake ♪

♪ Spooks come out for a singing wake ♪

♪ Happy haunts materialize ♪

♪ And begin to vocalize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪

♪ Now don't close your eyes ♪

♪ And don't try to hide ♪

♪ Or a silly spook may sit by your side ♪

♪ Shrouded in a daft disguise ♪

♪ They pretend to terrorize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize ♪

♪ As the moon climbs high o'er dead oak tree ♪

♪ Spooks arrive for the midnight spree ♪

♪ Creepy creeps with eerie eyes ♪

♪ Start to shriek and harmonize ♪

♪ Grim grinning ghosts come out socialize ♪

♪ When you hear the knell of a requiem bell ♪

♪ Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell ♪

♪ Restles bones etherealize ♪

♪ Rise as spooks of every size ♪

Other ghosts materialize, gathering around a hearse and drinking tea. A Mummy sits in his sarcophagus, trying to make contact with an elderly spirit who is just too deaf to understand him. Two "Phantoms of the Opera" blast their ghostly voices into the night. A Beheaded Knight, his Executioner, and his Prisoner all sing as a trio, while the poor ghost behind them tombs himself up. Our hero's Doom buggy enters the Mausoleum at the end of the Graveyard sequence where they are immediately "greeted" by the Raven who caws at guests while perching on the door to the Mausoleum.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Ah, there you are! And just in time… there’s a little matter I forgot to mention.

Larry (nervous): What's that?

The Ghost Host (offscreen): Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts!

Moe, Larry and Curly: Hitchhiking Ghosts?!

They pass by three hitchhiking spirits; a Traveler, a Skeleton and a Prisoner.

Doom Buggy passes by a wall of mirrors showing that the Hitchhikers are sitting in the vehicle along with the Stooges.

Larry: (swiveling around, flailing his arms) Moe! Look out! The ghosts are in our doom buggy!

Curly: (swings wildly at the ghosts) I'll get 'em! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Moe: (ducks to avoid Larry's flailing) Will you two knock it off? You're gonna make me drive us into a wall!

Larry: (swats at a ghostly arm) Gotcha!

Moe: (screams as Larry's hand hits him) Hey! What the…? (realizes Larry's mistake) Larry, you dolt! That was my arm, not a ghost!

Curly: (laughs nervously) Whoops! Sorry, Larry. I guess we're all a little jumpy tonight.

Moe: (massaging his arm) You bet we are. Now, keep your hands to yourself unless you want to be the next one to vanish.

The Ghost Host (offscreen): "They have selected you to fill our quota, and they’ll haunt you until you return!"

A very small being only around the size of a doll. She wears a white satin dress with a long, non-transparent hood, often mistaken for a veil, of the same material. She has visible long blue hair and glowing pale blue skin. stands atop the ledge of the crypt holding a bouquet of dead flowers. She is Little Leota, the Ghostess.

Little Leota: “Hurry back. Hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you decide to join us. Make final arrangements now! We've been dying… to have you…".

The Ghost Host (offscreen): "Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!"

The safety bar is risen and the Stooges disembarks the Doom Buggy. As they run screaming for the exit, we hear the ghosts sing this following passage:

♪ If you would like to join our jamboree ♪

♪ There's a simple rule that's compulsory ♪

♪ Mortals pay a token fee ♪

♪ Rest in peace, the haunting's free ♪

♪ So hurry back, we would like your company ♪

#The Three Stooges #Moe Howard #Larry Fine #Curly Howard #The Haunted Mansion #Walt Disney World #constance hatchaway #The Hitchhiking Ghosts

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sovpologist · 4 years ago

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i’m #TeamForeheadBonk

#o14 #hug would be okay #BUT FOREHEAD BONK OR BUST #chatter

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seraphicghost · 4 years ago

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Switched!AU part 1

start / next read the whole comic here

updates on p/treon

part one is finally done :’) ! i have a big plan for the entire thing so hopefully im able to finish it!

#shigaraki tomura #izuku midoriya #deku #todoroki shoto #bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #comic #switched au #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #draw #oc: switch #plz reblog this took me forever #deku bonked them both in the head enough to bust their foreheads open #he literally has no chill

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xtrafluffyteddy · 3 years ago

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Hi this is my first time asking for a request but Steve x Eddie x billy x reader and them probably grocery shopping or hosting a movie night with the kids and robin? Or or maybe when star court was open and they visit scoops ahoy or when billy was working as a life guard? Thank you if you write something. 🌸

Of course chicken noodle!

Pairing: Eddie munson x reader, Steve harrington x reader, Billy Hargrove x reader

Mentions: uhhhh not much really!

You had been busy in the kitchen all day preparing for the big movie night you were having “Billy can you run to the store and get me some butter and some chocolate chips I forgot to get some like a dumbass” you bonked your head with your knuckles a bit before turning back to the garlic knots you were making. He places his hands on your waist from behind kissing the top of your head before reaching past you to grab his keys “be back soon darlin” he does his signature wink as he leaves the house his loud ass Camaro disappearing down the road.

You just shake your head and roll your eyes as you rush to the oven to take out the spinach dip you had been perfecting “Stevie!” You call out to your other boyfriend who’s splayed out on the couch. “Stevie!” You call again this time he gets up shuffling to you “What’s up babe” before he can finish the sentence you shove a chip with the spinach dip into his mouth causing him to do the dragon thing due to it being really hot “ss really gwood” he says through a full mouth before he swallows “it’s really good baby” he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before going back to the couch.

When Billy finally returns you start making the chocolate chip cookies swaying your hips to some song that came on the radio “you should be listening to real music sweetheart” Eddie says sneaking up behind you to steal some chocolate chips “not if real music is gonna bust my eardrums darlin” you roll your eyes and laugh softly before smacking his hand when he goes for seconds “those are for the cookies darlin have some chips or somethin” you point to a few bowls of different chips “can’t I just have you instead” he wiggles his eyebrows “not after that line nope” you giggle and kiss his cheek before looking past him “shit shit shit you gotta go pick up the kids and Robin! Git git go” you quickly hand eddie his keys and shove him out the door “Jesus Christ” you continue working on cooking finally finishing the last batch of snacks.

You look around your bare living room before feeling like somethings missing and rush off down the hall grabbing a bunch of pillows and blankets for the kids and Robin so they’ll be comfortable “honey honey!” Billy stops your pacing making you look up at him “everything’s perfect you’ve provided plenty for the brats” you flick his forehead at that comment “okay okay for the kids and Robin now it’s time for you to relax” and with that he’s picking you up setting sitting down on the couch with in his lap and your legs over Steve’s lap “but what if-“ you begin only to have your mouth covered by Billy “no buts everything’s perfect” he pulls his hand away when you lick his palm wiping his hand off his pajama pants.

When Eddie arrives you can already hear the kids being loud and bickering over who knows what “and I said-“ Mike began as he walked in with Eddie followed by Dustin, Will, El, Lucas, and Max “hey kiddos” you smile getting up pulling them all into a bear hug smooshing your cheeks against the tops of their heads “look at how big y’all are getting stop growing” you pout playfully before showing them where to put their stuff and where to sit “hey hey hey” you point to El and Mike who are about to get comfy cozied up together “5 feet or your dad’ll kill me” you wiggle your fingers and point to where they can sit “but you and Eddie- “ Mike begins ready to plead his case shutting up when you put your hands on your hips and just stare at him “don’t test me Michael” he knew to listen to you then, you only used his full name when you were gonna yell at him for doing something stupid.

“Anyways” your back to your cheery self pulling out a stack of vhs tapes y’all had bought from a thrift store when you first moved in “we’ve got horror, romance, sci-fi, etc. take your pick” you lay out the vhs tapes “I also rented a new vhs tape called the thing heard it’s pretty scary” you smile as they all agree to watch “The Thing” “alrighty get comfy I’ll grab the snacks and if you need to get on your pajamas or go to the bathroom do it now” and with that a few kids disappeared towards where they can get changed being shown the way by Eddie and Steve while Billy helps you grab the snacks setting them on the coffee table in front of the tv.

When everyone’s finally situated and comfortable you start the movie and smile when Eddie sits between your legs so you’ll play with his hair, Billy sitting to your right so he can hold your hand and share the blanket with you and Steve to your left so he can lay his head on your shoulder and hold your hand as well. This was the life you’d always dreamed of surrounded by kids with the loves of your life.

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie st4 #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie my beloved #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader x eddie munson #steve harrington x reader #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove imagine #billy stranger things #billy hargrove x reader

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mizunetzu · 4 years ago

Note

omg i’m so excited i like,, spam read all of your writing and now i can request,,, anyway, could i request maybe something similar to your Tanaka x femboy reader, but with Oikawa? like he mistakes him for a girl and maybe flirts with the reader a little bit and the reader i just like ,,”you do,, you do realize i am a man correct” and hijinks ensue?? sorry if this is too vague i suck at describing things. lotsa love your writing is literally my favorite 💕

Omg wait Oikawa??? And femboy reader??? Hijinks???? Take me now—

——————

Oikawa x reader - Oikawa Tooru Goes Both Ways

⚠️warnings - reader is mistaken and referred to unintentionally as a girl. I assure you, this is a male reader. Femboy reader, if that triggers you.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Oikawa couldn’t help but stare as a...rather cute girl stepped into the gym.

“Oi! Shittykawa! Focus!” Iwaizumi was about to hurl a volleyball at Oikawa’s head when he caught sight of where he was staring. He looked from the newcomer, back to Oikawa’s eyes tracing their form up and down.

“Iwa-chan...” Oikawa held his breath as he pointed subtly. “Who is that?”

Iwaizumi looked over back to the intruder. Sure enough, some girl with (h/c) styled hair stood at the foot of the door awkwardly. They weren’t sporting the school uniform, instead wearing a skirt with a cafe apron tied around their waist. Oikawa recognized the cute logo on the somewhat dirty apron as the coffee shop he’d visit on days he wasn’t particularly busy.

All in all, this stranger was incredibly attractive.

Eventually, coach Irihata emerged from the storage closet, and motioned the stranger over. The stranger perked up, pulled out a slightly-wrinkled paper from their back, and timpered off into the office.

Oikawa sighed dreamily. “Iwa-chan...is this what I think it is? Are we fiiiiiinally getting a cute girl manager to manage our team?!”

He draped himself over Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “Aaaaah~! I’m so happy~! And it’s such a cutie too!”

“Get off me, dumbass. You have like...millions of girls throwing their panties at you, literally all that look like her. And you go for the one who decides to join our club?”

Oikawa huffed. “What’s so wrong about that! She’s cute! And she looked so shy standing there...aaaah, I’m swooning just thinking about wrapping her up in my arms-!”

“I’m saying,” Iwaizumi bonked Oikawa on the head. “If you manage to get with her, then break her heart, or at the very least make her uncomfortable, she’ll have to see your annoying face all day at practice, and then she won’t wanna be manager anymore! Because she has to see you!”

Iwaizumi pinched at Oikawa’s scalp. “I want a cute girl manager and to have them actually stay! And who knows? We get brownie points if it’s not another one of your fangirls trying to get in your pants by joining the club!”

“Ow! Mean Iwa-chan, bad!”

“I’m not a damn Pokémon-!” Iwaizumi was about to kick Oikawa in the back, before letting himself simmer down and take a deep breath. He lowered his legs, and turned towards the office door. “...I’m gonna go look at that girl’s application and see what class she’s in. Maybe we can, I dunno, make her a welcome basket of fruit or some corny shit like that.”

“Let me come with you-!”

“No! You’ll just scare her away, and you have cleaning duty! All you need to do is take down the net, and I’ll meet you outside when I’m done. If you be good, I’ll tell you her name.”

Oikawa thought about it for a second.

“Deal.”

He disappeared to take down the net from the poles. Iwaizumi sighed, and walked towards the door. They were the only two left in the gym, as they were in charge of cleanup for the day, so no one else but him should be in the office. Well, minus the new girl and coach Irihata.

Iwaizumi slid open the door. “Yo.” He greeted. He looked around the room, only finding coach Irihata.

“...Didn’t someone come in here with you with an application form?”

Coach Irihata chuckled. “Oh, yeah,”

“He just wanted to drop in his member application before his part-time job made him go back to work.”

Iwaizumi froze.

“...he...?”

“Yeah, he wanted to join the club as a (Position name). He’s not confident about his jumping or spiking abilities, but he claims to be really dang good at digging and receives.”

The two looked at eachother in silence. Wasn’t she-well, he—wearing a skirt? Now that he thought about it, everything about him looked like...well...a him, minus the skirt. Iwaizumi dashed to the table and picked up the application resting there peacefully.

‘(L/n) (Y/n) - 2nd year, class 4’

‘Position - (Position name)’

Iwaizumi scanned the page. He wanted to doubt this was the ‘cute manager’ they laid their eyes on, but they even had a school photo clipped onto the corner of the paper. Sure enough, that was him. His eyes eventually landed on something printed on the middle of the page.

‘Gender - male’

That proved it. The ‘cute girl manager’ Oikawa was just fawning over turned out to be a guy. And their future teammate, no less. Iwaizumi wanted to laugh in Oikawa’s face.

“Is there something wrong, Iwaizumi-kun?”

“Pfft-no! N-no, sirrrrr....” Iwaizumi set the paper down and walked out the the room, doing his best to keep in his snickers.

Oikawa jogged up to him excitedly once he stepped out of the gym. “So? Did ya find out her name? Her class? Is she our manager?”

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to say something, before letting his mouth clamp shut.

“Nah, coach said I couldn’t see it.”

He watched as Oikawa deflated, trudging his way over to the club room to change and go home. Iwaizumi did his best not to bust out laughing on the spot.

This should be fun.

——

“Iwa-chan!”

“No, you stalker.”

“But Iwa-chaaaaaan!” Oikawa whined. “Why not?! Practice ended early, and we could use some coffee! Come buy coffee with me!”

“You just wanna use me as an excuse to see that bo-that girl who came into our club yesterday, idiot! That’s stalking! You’re acting like your little fangirls!”

Oikawa pouted, and Iwaizumi prayed he didn’t catch him on his little slip-up. He turned around, walking off out of school gates. Oikawa dejectedly trailed behind him.

“I’m going home. Don’t bother me if it’s about that manager again—“

Just then, a text tone pinged from Iwaizumi’s pocket. He stopped mid-sentence, fishing out his phone and opening his messaging app.

‘Mom - no ones going to be home because we have to go out real quick. The house is locked, and you left your spare keys with me again. Go out and have fun with Tooru-kun before I come back!’

Iwaizumi deadpanned. Oikawa had his chin resting on his shoulder, with a shit-eating grin Iwaizumi didn’t even have to look at to know was there.

“Yeah, Iwa-chan. Listen to Mrs. Aina and hang out with Tooru-kun for a bit. We can go to the cafe and hang out like your she said, Iwa-chan~”

Iwaizumi pushed past Oikawa bitterly. “Don’t... fuckin’... call my mom by her name... dumbass... stalker... Shittykawa...” he grumbled as he trudged his way in the direction to the cafe. Oikawa let out a small “Yay~!”

——

Hiding behind the big, laminated menus the cafe provided, Oikawa kept glancing over to the cashier-area to try and find (Y/n). Iwaizumi deadpanned, sitting back in his chair nonchalantly.

“You’re acting stupid.”

“I’m being sneaky.”

“You look more suspicious than if you were to act like yourself.”

“As if you would know!” Oikawa whisper-yelled to Iwaizumi, momentarily letting his menu fall flat. “I’m trying not to get caught, unlike one of us-!”

“Hello?”

Oikawa and Iwaizumi froze. Oikawa rigidly turned to the voice, while Iwaizumi almost fell back in his seat.

There stood the boy—well, the ‘girl’, in his work apron, this time, up close. Oikawa could see the detail in his eyes, the way a few of his hairs fell onto his face and stuck because of the small layer of sweat on his forehead, even taking in the small kitty hair clip resting in his hair.

“Hu...huaai...” Oikawa breathed out. Iwaizumi bit his lip. If he started laughing now, Oikawa would tell his mom he was bullying him again.

“Hello! I was wondering if I could get you two anything to drink! No worries if you aren’t ready to order yet.”

His voice had a soft tamber to it, a warm, welcoming aura that fit the vibe of the cafe perfectly. Iwaizumi could see how Oikawa, and probably other people, could mistake him for a girl. Especially with the way he dressed and carried himself as evident to yesterday’s practice.

Iwaizumi tilted the menu infront of him up a bit. “I’ll get a small black coffee. Whabout you, Oikawa?”

When he got no response, other than the hum of acknowledgment from (Y/n), Iwaizumi looked up. Oikawa was staring dumbly at (Y/n) again, and seconds later (Y/n) was caught under his gaze. He stared back awkwardly, waiting for Oikawa to say something or at least order something, until he suddenly jolted up in pain.

Iwaizumi dug his heel deeper into Oikawa’s foot. “Say something, dumbass! Stop staring!” He hissed, covering his mouth from (Y/n) in petty attempts to mask their conversation.

“Ow! Ow! I’ll get a peppermint tea please-! Stop it!”

(Y/n) scribbled down Oikawa’s order, smiling patiently as he did. Iwaizumi removed his foot. There was a beat of silence, until Oikawa smoothly rested his chin on his hand.

“Soooo, (L/n) (Y/n)-chan, is it?” Oikawa said, as he peered at (Y/n’s) name tag. “Pretty masculine name for a cute girl like you~”

Iwaizumi choked on his spit. (Y/n) tilted his head to the side, looking up from his notepad to peer back at Oikawa.

“What...did you say?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I think (Y/n) is a cute name~”

Iwaizumi didn’t know if he wanted to die from laughter or embarrassment. He was going to pop a vein trying to keep in his cackles.

“Ah. It’s the clothes, isn’t it?” (Y/n) mused. He took a step back, looking at his rather-feminine clothing choices for the day. “I understand why. I get that a lot.”

“...What does your clothes have to do with your name?” It was Oikawa’s turn to sound confused. Iwaizumi let out a few haggard, stifled snickers at his dense expression. (Y/n) raised an eyebrow.

“You...” He pointed at himself with his pen. “You do realize I’m a man, correct?”

Oikawa choked. His eyes widened as his smile cracked a bit. Iwaizumi had to hide his face in his jacket to prevent himself from bursting out into hackles. Oikawa gave a nervous smile.

“Aha...haha...funny joke..”

“I’m not joking, though...” (Y/n) smirked. He wouldn’t deny that seeing the faces of people flirting with him after he told them he had a dick was a guilty pleasure. “Want proof?”

(Y/n) grasped Oikawa’s wrist, tugging it forcefully, and moving his apron to the side. He brought it down closer to his groin until Oikawa sputtered and flailed on the table.

“No! I-I believe you! I-I can see it from here—I don’t need to touch it-!” Oikawa shrieked. Iwaizumi clutched his stomach from laughing too hard, already given up on keeping it in. He snorted loudly, choked on that snort, and erupted into a series of cough-laughs.

By the time Iwaizumi’s laugh turned into the kind where no noise came out-but it hurt in your stomach anyways—Oikawa was laying his head on the table, embarrassed, while (Y/n) chuckled along.

“You knew, Iwa-chan! You knew!” Oikawa hissed, holding his poor, abused hand. “You set me up for failure!”

“You did that to yourself.” Iwaizumi said between breaths. “He’s actually gonna start attending practice as a (position name) starting next week. We don’t have a manager after all.”

“And you got my hopes up for what?!” Oikawa cried out, making Iwaizumi snort again. (Y/n) raised his eyebrows.

“Manager?”

“Oikawa thought that when you came to drop your registration form in yesterday, that you were signing up to be a manager since he thought you were a girl. I saw your form though, so I knew but this guy here didn’t.”

Iwaizumi nudged at Oikawa, who was hiding his face in his hands. “You better be nice to him, though. He’s your new captain starting next week.”

“Ah! How fun! Having my new playboy captain flirt with me before I even join the club. ” (Y/n) mumbled, as he scribbled down something else in his notepad. Iwaizumi heckled when Oikawa whined with his head down.

He didn’t raise his head back up until a slip of paper was placed gently on top of his head. He heard a “I’ll go get your drink ready.” From (Y/n), before he looked up and noticed he was gone. He caught the slip of paper falling off his head as he sat up.

“What’s that?” Iwaizumi said lazily. Oikawa was staring giddily at the paper. He turned the paper around smugly, holding it up for Iwaizumi to read.

‘Call me. If you’re feeling fruity, that is. (xxx)-xxx-xxxx. -‘(Y/n)-chan’’

Iwaizumi stared at the neat handwriting, then back at Oikawa’s smug face.

“...Were you not just listening? He just tried to make you touch his dick? He’s a dude?”

“Eh. Cute girl, cute boy, he’s still cute~” Oikawa dreamily sighed as he watched (Y/n) make his tea behind the counter. “I’d still hit it till he breaks~”

“Pervert.”

“Says you.”

Oikawa earned a sharp thunk to the head.

——————

#haikyuu x male reader #tooru oikawa #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa #oikawa x male reader #haikyuu oikawa #hq x y/n #hq x reader #hq x male reader #haikyuu fic #oikawa x femboy reader #hq iwaizumi #hq oikawa

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natsukicookies · 3 years ago

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180 personality change.

Ships: suna × f!reader x miya twins

Summery: just y/n being annoying but them finding her cute.

Words: 669

Type: fluff || funny || sfw

≛ ، . ‹ ִֶָ . ָ࣪ ‹ ャ ִֶָ ≛ ، . ‹࿔ৡ⃪꫶⃗၇͜ᩘ🦋͜ᩘ၇⃪⃖ৡ࿔ ‹ ャ ִֶָ ≛ ، . ‹ ִֶָ . ָ࣪ ‹ ャ ִֶָ

"Go away, you're annoying" suna muttered pushing y/n away who was annoying the hell out of him.

"Aw but I know you love me!" The female teen tease with a smirk on her face as she came closer.

"I know you simp for me" she tiptoe to be closer to his ear "I know you dream of me too and I know what kinda dream is it too- Da'k!"

She whispered into his ear but in the end of the sentence suna put his hand on her mouth shutting her up.

"I swear to God if you say one more thing.. I will choke you to dead" he gave her a death glared but as soon he let go of her mouth..

"Oh yeah?" Y/n stated as her smirk got bigger. Suna knew the next word that's gonna come out of your mouth is gonna be something annoying.

"Choke me like you hate me but you love me~" she sang running around him in a circle, Not caring if others saw it.

And if it weren't already enough before, now everyone was looking at them which was making suna wanted to dig a hole and bury the teen girl alive..

In the corner was the tiwns watching them, Atsumu put his hands on his hip and said "at first I thought she was the cute, shy and innocent type.."

Osamu hemmed in response, both remembering the first time they saw her.

Osamu, Atsumu and suna were on their way to gym but someone bump into Osamu making all the page fall everywhere.

"A-ah.." they all looked down and saw a [h/c] haired girl on the floor picking up the page in a hurry.

"I'm s-sorry" she mumbled not looking at them then she stood up and bow before running away. All of them thought she was quite the shy one... well that was until they get to know her.

Looking at her now it's like her personality did a 180 switch or something.

"She did change a lot" kita said as he joined the twins, Both twins nodded agreeing with him.

"She's quite wild" Osamu said looking at the first year girl who was laughing and annoying his friend.

Atsumu quickly looked at his twin with wide eyes "oi samu! You're simping?" He asked his twin and Osamu's eyes widened as his face turned red from embarrassment?? Orr..

"No!" He defended himself "I didn't want to call her flirty or a pervert so I.." he tiled off, looking away.

"Bro.." Atsumu said with a unreadable face. "Don't give me that look!, You, yourself simp for her!" Osamu Whisper yelled so the others wouldn't hear.

"No I don't-" Atsumu was about to defend himself but got cut off "suree, as your twin I can read you like a book you know?" Now it was This time to go red.

"Okay okay. Don't fight" kita stopped them as both were about to get in to a fight.

"Yo" y/n popped out of nowhere giving all the three of them a jumpscare but Atsumu was the only one who show it.

"HA!" Y/n hold her stomach as she bust out laughing and so did Osamu.

"DON'T LAUGH! BOTH OF YOU!" Atsumu yelled but it didn't effect both of them one bit..

"Wait what happened to your forehead y/n?" Kita changed the subject as he saw her a red mark on her forehead.

Now all the attention was on y/n forehead. She covered it up with her hand as she puff out her cheeks "suna bonk me" she sulked "he's such a meanie!"

"I can hear you" suna said not really looking at her. "THATS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO. SO YOU CAN FEEL GUILTY FOR HITTING A CUTE GIRL LIKE ME" she yelled as she put her hand on her hips.

Suna ignored her but in the end all of them smiled at her childish behavior "it is cute" they all thought.

Buy me ko-fi please?

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sonasnowdrop · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 16: go with the flow

-Break the cycle-

Audrey moved carefully, just incase The Ink Demon was still around. She crouched under a few bars blocking her path. She ventured far, busting every locked door. It seemed safe here.

There was a rather large pipe, with ink spilling out of it. Audrey bent down and crawled through the giant pipe.

The artist then went through a door with 'exit' written above it, two lost ones laid motionless when she entered. She approached the stairs with caution.

She spotted another lost one across a giant gap from her. They laughed and…teleported? Audrey blinked and rubbed her eyes. It was definitely real.

Her next objective was to find away across, perhaps the lost one was friendly.

The woman looked around, and picked up various items before spotting a lever and pulling it.

A giant pipe, similar to the one she had went through earlier, lowered down just enough for Audrey to walk across.

She did so, but when reaching the other side, the chains snapped one by one and the pipe fell into the abyss.

Guess I can’t go back that way…

The animator thought to herself and proceeded forward.

She walked though a few more doorways, and spotted that lost one from earlier. He seemed to be suck.

"Oh! Hello there! Are you looking for the way out?" The lost one asked politely, Audrey nodded.

"A way out would be nice. Are you…uh, stuck in there?" The artist asked, trying to hold back laughter.

"Well, yes. And I’m afraid that means…well, you’re stuck too." The lost one laughed.

"Can’t you move?" The artists asked, the lost one shook his head.

"Not an inch…perhaps you couldn’t get me unstuck?" The lost one said, Audrey could see what she could do.

She approached the lost one, and placed her hand onto the ink he was stuck to. Her hand began to glow, and the ink disappeared.

The lost one fell into the pipe.

"Weeeee!!" The lost one descended, Audrey couldn’t help but laugh.

The young woman stood up, and jumped into the pipe as well.

She landed on her feet, the lost one stood before her.

"Thank you very much for your help! The names Porter by the way, and who might you be?" Porter asked, Audrey felt relaxed.

"Audrey?" The artist said, it came out as a question more than an answer.

"Audrey? Audrey! Auuudreyy…" Porter repeated himself a few times, like Weeper. But unlike Weeper he shook his head.

"Nope! Don’t like it, it doesn’t suit you! I’ll call you…Bobby!" Porter said with glee, however Audrey scrunched up her face and chuckled.

"And to say thanks to your feat of rescue, here’s a little gift!" Porter held Audrey by the hand and bonked his forehead against hers. Audrey felt power transfer to her,

"There we are! It’s passed on!" Porter said with cheer, Audrey stared at her now glowing hand.

"Now, you can move like me!!" Porter dashed across the gap in the floor and continued to laugh.

"Goodbye Bobby! Try not to die!!" Porter waved goodbye and walked away giggling.

Audrey too, giggled.

"Bobby." She laughed to herself. At least she could get across the gap now.

She dashed across the gap, it felt like she simply teleported. Neat! She was back to where she first encountered the ink demon. She felt less uneasy going back through these parts, since she had a feeling that he most likely wouldn’t show up here again.

Audrey made her way back to animation alley, she searched around incase the little toons she had scared off were around.

The animator entered a room with lockers standing on each side. Looked like a high school locker room. The girl made sure to stay out of the sight of lost ones as they rambled to themselves.

Busting another lock the place began to vibrate again.

"The deep abyss remembers you, Audrey. A child of the darkness, like the one before you." The demons voice hissed out. The artist looked around nervously, it didn’t seem to be around.

What did he mean by 'the one before her'?

She tried to pay no attention to the demons words. Keep moving.

The animator opened each locker for supplies, skinning this area dry. Opening each locker was a good idea, she found a code to something. Perhaps for one of those number flipper codes. She held onto the note that had the code written on it.

When finding a locked door, she punched in the code.

215

The door opened, there was a note next to the door. Audrey picked it up and kept moving.

The woman continued into the next room. Going through each locker and finding many things that could help her.

There was something glowing up above, she approached it.

GENT UPGRADES

Audrey stared at her pipe before placing it inside the tube shaped upgrade station. When using the parts she collected to upgrade her pipe, the tube shot yellow light. Much like how Audrey’s hand zapped when meeting those toons.

When done, Audrey took her pipe and went to another upgrade station that required one of her batteries to operate. She plopped one inside and the station lit up.

After seemingly charging her pipe she took it and went on her way back to animation alley.

Back to the previous problem. Most of the doors had a strange gent lock on it. Now that her pipe was charged, she could open the doors.

When leaving the upgrade area, legless lost ones bursted from puddles. These must be the searchers Alice told her about.

Audrey dashed past them, occasionally having to stop when one grabbed her.

The artist got past them however and made it back to animation alley. Now that she could flow, she was able to make it across the gap. She unlocked the door with her gent pipe.

Entering the next room, writings are seen on the wall.

THE KEEPERS SEE EVERYTHING

Keepers? Audrey already had enough to deal with only to find out there’s more.

The artist had to keep moving. So she did, she proceeded further.

Chapter 15 / Chapter 17

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nakachuchu · 4 years ago

Text

Vanilla Ice Cream | Inumaki Toge

SYNOPSIS: Modern AU - You pull an all-nighter and look like crap.

READER: gender neutral

WORDS: 1024

WRITTEN: 04/06/2021

NOTES: Thank you for requesting from my event! @mnfschl Make sure to get some sleep and stay hydrated, dummy, and congrats for being friends with a famous person 🥳

You pulled an all-nighter and looked like absolute crap. There were no better words to describe how you looked.

If anyone walked into your room, they could see empty ramen cup noodles and various mugs of coffee or tea around.

You were normally a neat person because you liked being able to sleep peacefully in a clean room, but school was busting your ass.

You were being pulled left and right with your classes—English on one side and science on the other.

Writing a five-page English paper was hard enough, but it was especially hard when you had procrastinated because your mental health was already bad beforehand.

Then, you had a science exam on top of that. You had to study and retain the information while writing a paper.

But you weren't the only one suffering. Your boyfriend hadn't been able to see you for three days because you didn't just pull an all-nighter. You pulled a three-nighter.

You had been dating Toge for nearly a year now, so the two of you had been over to each other's houses and met each other's families before.

He knocked on the door to your house and waited patiently for your mother to open the door.

"Hello, Toge, Y/N's in their room. What do you have there?" your mother asked.

He held up the plastic bag of ice cream and opened it for your mother to see. She smiled and patted him on the head, noticing that he got you your favorite brand of vanilla ice cream.

He walked to your open, turning the doorknob and slowly opening it a smidge to peer into your room. His face scrunched up in disgust at the mess you called a room.

He opened the door further and walked in, then closed the door behind him. Your desk was facing the opposite wall, so your back was to the door.

He crept up behind you and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you shriek and jump. The red pen in your hand slid across your paper, creating a red line.

"T-Toge, you gave me a heart attack!"

He grinned and leaned in to kiss you. Then, he placed the plastic of ice cream on your desk, effectively shoving your studying materials away.

"Hey, I was still using that," you said.

He bonked your head with his fist, making you frown and quiet. You watched him pull out your favorite brand of vanilla ice cream. It was in a small container with a plastic spoon inside.

Your eyes twinkled and you felt a bit more energized at the thought of getting to eat your favorite ice cream after studying for three days.

You held out your hand expectantly as if you hadn't just complained that he was bothering your studying time.

He opened the lid and tore off the wrapper inside, then took out the plastic spoon before placing it in your hands.

"Thank you," you said. "I missed you."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head before opening his vanilla ice cream container and eating it.

He had gotten into an accident that damaged his vocal chords when he was younger, so he couldn't speak to you.

You didn't care because it wouldn't hinder the fact that you loved him. Besides, the way you two communicated was great and understandable.

He gestured toward your messy desk and you pouted. The plastic spoon was in your mouth and you chewed on it as a stress reliever for a moment before scooping more ice cream into your mouth.

You sighed softly at the taste of vanilla bean on your tongue. It was cold, a contrast to the hot coffee and instant ramen you'd been eating for the past three days—because you told your mother you didn't have time to eat actual food and use utensils.

"I know I'm messy," you muttered.

He shook his head with a smile on his face, knowing you weren't this messy and that you just needed a pick-me-up.

The two of you finished your vanilla ice cream while you talked about your studies and reviewed with him by trying to remember science facts for your exam.

He threw away the containers into the plastic bag, then started picking up the trash around your room to throw away.

"You don't have to do that," you reassured.

He shook his head, adamant about helping you while you were studying. Once all the trash was thrown away into the plastic bag, he picked up all the various mugs you had in your room.

He smiled when he saw a familiar frog mug. The two of you bought a matching set when you were out on your first date with him. The funny thing was the two of you stopped walking at the same time to peer into the small shop where the matching frog mugs were on display.

You also took him to the local grocery store where your favorite brand of vanilla ice cream was sold. It was the first time he had tried it before and he fell in love with it, just like you.

You would always remember the cute, child-like look on his face when he took his first bite. The two of you giggled outside the grocery store where you eagerly ate it.

You noticed what he was looking at and smiled bashfully. You got up from your chair and walked over to him, holding the hem of his shirt.

"It's my favorite mug," you said. "I always feel bad about using it."

You were telling the truth. You had to tell your mother each time to be careful of the mug and not break it. You were the only one allowed to clean the mug as well because you didn't want to risk someone else breaking it.

He grinned and kissed your forehead. You smiled at him and leaned up to peck his lips, able to taste the vanilla bean on his lips.

"I'll help you clean up, then how about we take a nap together?"

He nodded excitedly, loving the idea of cuddling and napping together with you.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #inumaki to/ge x reader

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bookwormsid1015 · 4 years ago

Text

Operation: Baby Talk [1/3]

Hizashi pounds his fist against the mahogany door rapidly while Shouta and Oboro stand behind him, Shouta with his standard bored expression and Oboro with shifting, anxious feet. Beside them, a small white cloud floats drowsily with a small grocery bag full of chili bean soup and medicine inside it.

Unlike the three boys, Nemuri is already living alone in a small apartment complex a few streets away from UA High School, working two jobs to keep up with rent and her own chaotic interests. Although her independence gives them a great place to hang out to play video games on weekends, it also draws most of her attention away from them most of the week. Despite this, Nemuri has always been a punctual, upstanding student who turns in her homework on time and always makes room for friends. Nothing has ever stopped her before, and it still amazes Oboro to see her act like such an… adult.

Bottom line: Nemuri is a busy bee and it’s not uncommon to not see her for days on end. What is uncommon, however, is discovering she hasn’t been at school or internship for the past three days and apparently called off work for the next two weeks.

This knowledge has been bothering Oboro nonstop. Is she okay? Did she get hurt while on patrol with His Purple Highness? Did she get sick? Is she all alone? Her parents live in Saitama Prefecture, a whole three hours away from Musutafu. If she is sick, knowing Nemuri and her stupid habit of hoarding her burdens to herself, she didn’t tell them or anyone else. Oboro knows for a fact she didn’t tell him, Shouta or Hizashi; the only reason they know of her strange absence was through Iida Tensei, who Oboro shares his math class with.

“Oh, she called His Purple Highness and told him something came up and that she wouldn’t be coming in for a while,” Iida had told him casually. “Why? She didn’t tell you?”

It pissed Shouta and Hizashi off that Nemuri wouldn’t let them-- her best friends-- know about her getting sick, but it just worried Oboro. It took a lot of convincing, but he managed to drag them with him to the local grocery store, grab Nemuri her favorite soup and some medicine, and come all the way over here. Shouta and Hizashi kept on glancing at Oboro strangely and whispering to each other, but Oboro doesn’t understand why they would act so weird about it. He’s Nemuri’s friend! Friends are supposed to look out for each other, right?

“Nemuriiii!” Hizashi shouts through the door between rapid knocking. “I know you’re in there, I can smell hoe for miles! Open up the mcfuckin’ dooooorrr!”

Shouta lifts an unamused eyebrow at Hizashi. “Dude, what the fuck?” he deadpans, and Hizashi glares at the ravenette from over his shoulder.

“We’re friends! I’m allowed to call her a hoe.” Hizashi turns back to the door. “Nemuri! Open the DOOR!” He emphasizes “door” with a high pitched shriek, and Oboro shoves his palm into his face to stifle his snorts.

“You guys are both assholes,” Shouta grumbles, though it’s obvious he’s smiling.

The door swings open in a quick arc that slams into Hizashi’s forehead with a comical bonk. Nemuri is standing in the doorway, clad in her pajamas with baggy pink sweatpants and a white tank top with spaghetti straps. Her red glasses sit on the bridge of her nose, her deep indigo hair tied up into a short messy bun atop her head, and her tired blue eyes glare at the boys with exhausted irritation. Seeing Nemuri without her usual playful smile is surprising in and of itself, but Oboro’s sky blue eyes widen at what she’s holding against her chest with one arm.

A small baby dressed in a cute little sailor suit is leaning into her chest, snoozing quietly with one thumb in his mouth. He looks like the splitting image of Nemuri, with a matching mole under his right eye and pale skin. The only thing that differs from her is the baby’s hairstyle, which is short and curly.

Nemuri releases the door knob and readjusts her grip on the baby, still glaring at the boys. “What the fuck, guys? You couldn’t even call in advance?” she hisses at them.

Shouta and Hizashi stare between Nemuri and the baby, speechless, while Oboro’s brain turns like slow moving gears. After a solid three seconds, he suddenly utters a horrified gasp that attracts the eyes of all three friends. “Nemuri! You were pregnant?!” he shrieks.

The accusation breaks the shocked spell in an instant, and suddenly Hizashi is lying flat on his ass, howling with laughter. Even Shouta ducks his face away, trying to stifle his giggles; Nemuri narrows her eyes at Oboro pointedly.

“Oh yeah, I got pregnant and gave birth in three days. Of course I wasn’t pregnant, dipshit.” Nemuri readjusts her grip on the baby again, holding him up a little higher. “This is my older sister’s kid. Say hello to baby Haito, everyone.”

Not knowing what else to do, everyone waves at the little baby, and the baby lifts his head drowsily. When he opens his eyes, Oboro is surprised to find the baby’s eyes are a light blue that matches the hue of the sky above, with faint freckles dusting over his cheeks. Upon seeing the newcomers, the baby fusses anxiously and buries his face in Nemuri’s bust.

Nemuri’s attitude changes in an instant, from tired and angry to worried and tender. She lifts one hand to gently pat the baby’s back and she rocks him from side to side. “Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay Haito-baby. It’s okay. Auntie Nemi’s here. You’re safe with me,” she coos into his hair, and the baby’s whines quiet down. Her voice is so soft and gentle it warms Oboro’s heart just by hearing it, and he can tell Hizashi and Shouta are just as shocked by her motherly tone.

After the baby quiets down, Nemuri lifts her head to peer at her friends, suddenly tired all over again. “Sorry for being a bitch, guys. My sister and her boyfriend had to go abroad for some job interview in South Korea, and since my parents think her boyfriend is a deadbeat, they want nothing to do with him or the baby. So she gave Haito to me,” Nemuri explains, punctuating her words with a tired sigh. “I’ve had, like, no sleep for the past three days. Damn… and my rent’s due next Thursday…”

Shouta and Hizashi look between themselves, unsure of how to react. Only Oboro is willing to meet Nemuri’s eyes, and worry pangs to life in his chest at the dark bags under her eyes. “When will they be back?” he asks her.

“Hm? In about two weeks, I think,” she says, and Oboro can almost feel her invisible walls rising, guarding her from their worry. “Don’t worry, guys. I’m fine. I’ve pulled all-nighters before, this is nothing.”

“You weren’t taking care of someone’s kid, though,” Oboro gently protests. “Have you been eating anything? Anything at all?”

Nemuri pries her eyes away from his concerned stare. “I had a protein shake yesterday,” she replies stiffly.

Oboro’s brows lower into a frown. “For breakfast or dinner?” he presses.

Nemuri sighs. “Breakfast…” she mutters in response, then quickly shakes her head as a wobbly smile forces its way onto her lips. “It’s nothing. I mean it. You guys don’t have to worry about me.”

Oboro is already shaking his head. “That’s bullshit,” he tells her, and when he sees her shoulders haunching defensively, he quickly adds, “I know you can take care of yourself, but as your friend, I still worry about you. I mean, look at you! You look like you could pass out any second now!”

“I’m fine,” she replies, her tone harder this time.

Oboro stares at her incredulously. Why can’t she just let them help for once? She has it in her mind that she has to be the strong one, the responsible one. Why can’t she see that she’s a kid just like the rest of them? It frustrates him to no end, yet in the depths of his exasperation, an epiphany comes to mind.

“Why don’t I help you take care of him?” he offers, and his friends’ eyes fall on him in surprise.

“You? Help me? Take care of… a baby?” Nemuri echoes, her words slow and meticulous as if she were taking her time tasting a treat, figuring out whether she liked it or not. She glances down at the baby in her arms, then to the small cloud floating beside the taller boy, eyeing the small grocery bag full of medicine in particular. Oboro has never seen her look so… anxious before.

Assuming she’s just not used to being offered help, Oboro goes on cheerfully, “Yeah! I have a little brother, remember? I’m a pro at babysitting!” Something about his words is bothering him, the reason flapping seamlessly in the back of his mind, though Oboro can’t pin down why. He just smiles joyfully at her, hoping his smile is convincing enough.

Finally, Nemuri sighs. “Come around six tonight,” she tells him, her tone strange. “Haito usually gets fussy around dinner time.”

Oboro flashes her a thumbs up. “Bet!” he cheers.

Nemuri smiles at him, and Oboro’s heart gives an unexpected beat; somehow it feels different from her usual broad, gleaming smiles. He doesn’t have enough time to decipher it before Nemuri quickly bids them goodbye and closes the door, disappearing back into her apartment.

A long beat of silence passes between them, and Oboro doesn’t dare move his eyes away from the front door. He can feel the hot stares of Shouta and Hizashi on his back, pinning him in place like a butterfly on a bulletin board.

“Holy fucking shit. Did you just…?” Suddenly, Hizashi’s face splits apart into a bright smile, and he latches his arms around Oboro’s to shake rapidly. “Dude, I can’t believe you did that! You’re so smooth!”

Oboro blinks at him owlishly, still not comprehending what just happened. The flapping in the back of his mind is deafening, now. “Eh? What’d I do?” he asks.

Hizashi laughs loudly. “Don’t play coy with me, bro! You totally went, ‘fear not, my love. Even if this child is not mine, I shall support both you and the baby!’ That was so domestic it made me blush!” he squeals.

The puzzle pieces finally fit together in his brain, and a blush hits him with the speed of an oncoming train. Suddenly, he remembers the faint blush on her cheeks, and the tender pull of her smile. Although Nemuri is the type of person to extend a helping hand out to anyone in need, she rarely accepts help from anyone else. In spite of that, she’s letting him help her with taking care of her sister’s baby?

Oboro has no idea what expression is on his face right now.

“Oboro.” Shouta’s stern voice reaches his ears, grounding him before his brain could float into the sky like a balloon. He slowly turns to face the ravenette, and finds Shouta watching him with dark, serious eyes. “Do you have any idea what you just did?” he asks, his tone flat.

Oboro blinks slowly, his brain slow and muddled yet filled with thoughts moving at the speed of light. “I… said I’d help wit’ da baby…” he murmurs dumbly, the words feeling alien on his tongue. Shouta sighs.

The trio finally gather their wits and begin walking away from Nemuri’s doorstep. Oboro is suddenly thankful her apartment is on the first floor; he doesn’t think he has the motor skills to walk down stairs right now. “I know you said you have a little brother, but it’s been seven years since you had to change a diaper. Do you think you can handle this?” Shouta asks the taller boy, and Oboro wrings his hands together tightly.

“I mean, yeah, why not?” he replies, more so to convince himself. “Between me and Nemuri, how hard can it be?”

#Bnha #Bnha Vigilantes #Mha #Kayama Nemuri #Shirakumo Oboro #Aizawa Shouta #Yamada Hizashi #Shirakumo Oboro x Kayama Nemuri #CloudNight #Shirayama #Bnha Midnight #Loud Cloud #Eraserhead #Present Mic #Haha fuckers I told you I won't let this ship die

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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

Text

two tails | reader x minho |

One

Pairing: self insert, female reader x lee minho

Genre: strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, fluff

Tags: neighbors au, comfort fic, catowner!minho, catowner!reader, author!reader, bestfriend!seungmin, agedup!skz, slow burn, plot-driven, gradual romance, meet cute scenarios, lil bit of angst, strained parental relationship, explicit language

Word count: 3.9k

Chapters

P | ONE | TWO

homebody noun

: one whose life centers around the home.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Grocery stores are a cursed place. Horrible. You might have guessed that if there were to be a special layer of hell to be reserved for you (which you sure as hell wished there wasn’t) it would likely be a grocery store.

Firstly, they are one of the messiest places that you could ever experience. Have you seen the ways that those beige-y grey floors get caked with dirt and smudges from who knows what? Have you seen the dirt and grime that hides under those produce shelves? Secondly, why is it that everyone always feels the need to get so close to eachother crammed in those isles? Why is it that you have to do that awkward shuffle when your cart and someone else’s cart gets in each other’s way and you have to do the “no you go first” and “no, you go first.”

You prayed that you had been good enough in this life to escape some kind of grocery-store induced hellscape.

Partly it was Bomi’s fault. Temperamental nuisance. Three days into her newest bag of cat food and she suddenly decided to go on a hunger strike. The internet had told you that perhaps she just didn’t like the flavor. Little did the internet know that you had nearly already tried every other flavor there was, even the expensive ones.

You stared down to your crinkled up list filled with the ramblings of an attempted grocery list and other absentminded doodles.

DONT FORGET STUPID NEW CAT FOOD

Under the reminder, you had drawn an angry little cat face with Bomi’s characteristic calico facial splotches.

“Damn cat. You’re lucky that I still love you.” You uttered under your breath.

The wheels of your cart screeched as you turned the corner into the pet isle. Of course, you were the lucky one that had to pick the cart that had only three functioning wheels and whined like your mother over the phone. You cringed to yourself, bearing through the sound and the two glances from a mother and her child throwing an obscenely large bag of dog food into their totally normal cart.

You didn’t need to, but you mouthed a tiny “sorry” to them as you passed them.

The tall metal racks appeared to touch those flickering fluorescent lights above them as you perused them, glancing over all of the brands which you had undoubtedly purchased one time or the other.

Tuna, salmon, tuna and salmon, tuna and veggies, salmon and veggies...

What would it be that Bomi would tolerate this time? Was it grains that she didn’t like? Wet food?

Merely looking at the prices for the canned cat food sprung such a headache that you wished you hadn’t looked at them at all. But, if it was what your princess would eat...

On the highest shelf, your gaze caught a brand that you hadn’t seen before, so you summoned your strength to stand on your tip-toes, stretching up your arm as far as you possibly could, teetering just a little...

“Al...most--”

“Here, I can get that, let me just--”

“--Oh no, it’s fine, I can reach it, thank you--”

“--It’s alright, I’ve almost got it...”

His elegant fingers got tangled up with yours. Had your determination been any weaker, he would have snatched it up all himself, but...

He chuckled a little. “Are you sure?”

You turned your head to affirm, “Positiv--Minho?”

“Y/n?”

You had finally had the little can in your grasp, only to feel it slip out of your fingers in your shock.

The terrible sound of the aluminum can hitting Minho’s head and glasses bonked between your fumbling arms, working just too slow.

“Ssss-OW!”

Minho’s hand went immediately to rub at the top of his head with eyes tightly shut.

“Oh my god!!! Are you okay?”

Instinctually you swooped in to see if any harm had been done.

“Ah-I’m fine, don’t--I’m fine.”

Your neighbor patted down his head, trying to craft a smile for you under his painfully crossed brows.

“Are you sure? I-I’m so sorry. God, I’m so stupid and clumsy, don’t you think that you have a concussion or something?”

He laughed out a sharp chuckle, then winced at what the action did to his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure about that?” If he could have heard, he would have noticed your heart anxiously beating at a hundred times per second.

“It’s okay, really, I’ve had worse things thrown at my head.”

“What the hell could be worse???”

“You don’t want to know.” He maintained his hopeful grin.

Even after being assaulted by cat food, he was still just as beautiful as you remembered.

“Oh! Your glasses!! Where did those go??”

Frantically, you spun around, shoving your cart aside with another startling screee. Quickly you found them nearest the bird seed.

“Here. Here you go, I hope that they’re not broken.”

“Mm-doesn’t look like it.” Minho inspected them.

“Oh thank God.”

He huffed out one more little scoff-sounding laugh. “At least you’ve got the cat food that you wanted now.

“Yeah, but at what cost?”

“I said don’t worry about me.”

Minho fluffed his hair back into place, likely hiding another rub to his throbbing head.

What even does one say to someone who you nearly wrecked with cat food?

“You uhh--what are you doing here?”

“The same as you, getting cat food.” Minho snatched a bag of food from a lower shelf. “With three mouths to feed you tend to run out pretty fast.”

“Oh! I-uh...can imagine.”

“Weird shopping here like I live here now...never thought that would happen. I’m still getting used to everything around here; never knew that I would end up back living with my mom...and at my age.”

“Don’t-don’t feel bad! It’s a nice area around here! At least I think, and it’s a... nice grocery store...”

You did not think that it was a nice grocery store, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Minho smiled back at you warmly, just as he had done back on your doorstep, tabby cat in his arms. You had wanted to see it again.

“-Guess that means I’ll be seeing you around here more often too then.” He took the cat food can--his ex-assailant-- to drop into your cart.

“I guess so...and sorry, again.”

“Really don’t worry about it!” Minho rolled up his hands into little sweater paws on the handle of his cart. “I’ll see you later then.”

“See...you...”

Your words trailed behind him, seeing as he had already started wheeling away. As soon as he was out of an earshot, you cursed yourself out terribly--another habit you had developed since living alone; you really were your only company.

“God, Oh god. Now he thinks that I’m a recluse and a wreck, oh god--”

“--Hey! Watch where you’re going!!”

An old man with a newsboy cap griped before you nearly collided with him and his cart full of diet sodas.

“Sorry!! I’m so sorry!” You bowed profusely in apology while removing yourself from the isle as fast as you could.

Grocery stores really were your own kind of personal hell.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The cold metal of the bus stop sign dissolved into your sweating forehead while you watched the springtime sunset fade out before you. It really was pretty, and it was just enough to distract you from how weighed down your backpack and numerous reusable bags felt. Had your hands been free, you would have taken a picture.

What time is it even?

Your watch was restricted by the number of straps around your wrists. Sometimes stepping outside of your home and onto the sidewalk was draining enough to make you feel like scurrying back inside. Big trips like this however, had you falling asleep in those uncomfy plastic chairs in (also) disgustingly messy buses.

To your right, you heard the usual hum of the number 10 bus wheel up.

“Wait! Wait!! Hold the bus!!”

Hurried footsteps came patting behind you, followed with shallow running breaths.

Hair bopping and cardigan flopping a little like wings behind him, Minho sprinted to the doors.

“Take a seat ma’am.” The bust driver snapped you out of your embarrassment over seeing him one more time than you would have liked.

“Ah-sorry, I will.”

You shuffled your way near back of the bus and attempted to hide your face behind your bags decorated with none other than flowers and cartoon cats.

“Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.” You chanted under your breath while your neighbor looked for a seat.

“Y/n? Heh, I just keeping running into you don’t I?”

“Minho!!!!” You piped, just a little too animatedly. “Huh! Didn’t figure I would see you here...too...”

Minho slid into the booth across from you. “I mean, it makes sense, we’re going to the same place basically.”

“Don’t you...have a car or something?”

“I do, but I figured that the grocery store was close enough, although, I didn’t really factor in how all of this would weigh a ton.”

“Hm, I never really do as well.”

A pair of older lades glared over at the two of you, clearly displeased that you were disrupting their peaceful bus ride. Minho cowered under their piercing and aged brown eyes, then stealthily slid into the seat next to you.

His washed out jeans brushed up against your leggings, and you felt your hairs stand on end. If there was someone out there who decided if you went to a hellscape grocery store, they must have also been able to mask the smell of your sweat. You hoped that they were listening to your pleading requests.

“It’s a really a nice evening isn’t it?”

Minho peered out your window at the little shops and bustling streets beside you. The sidewalks were decorated with little skinny trees here and there which had just started to bloom with the buds of leaves and flowers. There was a peaceful air about the scene that reminded everyone that the cold would soon be gone for good, and the sky swirled into pinks and purples.

“Oh! Yes, yes it is.”

You tried your best to ignore the fact he was leaning into you slightly.

“So. What else do you do besides be a cat parent and a part-time chucker of canned goods?”

You wanted to crawl in a hole once you saw his adorable grin once more. “I-I have a job, a couple actually.”

“A couple? And what are they?”

“I teach online college courses in creative writing and English.” your glasses fell a little down your nose bridge, so you adjusted them accordingly, “I also edit for a small publishing company--but that’s more of a side thing.”

“That’s...a lot of writing and things like that.”

“Well, it’s what I went to school for, and, I don’t mind...although my mother--”

“--Have you written anything yourself? Anything that I could read?”

You felt your cheeks set ablaze with heat. “You?! Oh no no no no.”

“What?” A mischievous grin overtook Minho’s adorable one. “Do you write provocative content?”

“No! I do not!” Your tone turned more defensive than you had intended.

“Well, what do you write? Even if you did write that kind of stuff, I wouldn’t mind. Provocative contents are trendy these days.”

“I didn’t even say that I write in the first place!”

“I just assumed seeing as you seem to do other things in this field...so, what do you write?”

“It’s embarrassing, and I don’t owe you the knowledge!!”

Minho reached over your fuming body to pull at the bus cord, letting out the little stop requested tune.

“What is it that you do then?”

“Something boring and business-y that you wouldn’t care to know about. It’s definitely not as interesting as what you do I’m sure.”

Your neighbor gathered up his bags while the bus slowed to the stop.

“You coming?”

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[19:07]

me: seung, i’m such a fool. you will not believe

seungmo: should I even guess? what? Bomi yack during your online lecture again?

me: no, worse.

seungmo: i’m listening.

i guess i don’t really have a choice though don’t I?

you’re just gonna tell me anyway aren’t you?

The cat in question purred in your lap, permitting you your usual one hour of cat-attention a day like she would during the evenings. After your day of embarrassment, you had hunkered down on your favorite place on the couch, swaddled in blankets with the TV playing some nature show that you had been trying to pay attention to. Somehow, the thought that Minho living just doors away made it all seem even worse; you were bound to see him again.

You bit your lip and started tapping away at your phone screen, regaling the entire tale to your best friend--who frankly had enough of your awkward “you-isms.” However, no matter how socially insecure you were, Seungmin appeared to stick by you. In fact, it was one of your “you-isms” that had brought the two of you together.

Four years ago at that pet shelter where you had got Bomi, Seungmin was there too looking for a dog. It was Bomi’s skittish self that leapt out of her cage and into Seungmin’s arms when his dog started barking. Bomi had nearly destroyed Seungmin’s sweater by the way that she had clawed into him. Of course, you took her crime upon yourself and insisted on buying him a new sweater. After an exchange of phone numbers, he hadn’t gotten bored of you yet. Bomi had always liked him more than you--the traitor.

[19:18]

me: ...and then he showed up on the bus, just as I had thought that I had escaped, and then started berating me about what I do for a living.

seungmo: are you sure he wasn’t just asking questions, NOT berating?

me: it felt like it.

seungmo: and why are you telling me all of this?

me: bc I wanted you to give me some comfort?? or reassurance?? isn’t that what friends do?

seungmo: what do you want me to say? I’m sorry, that was really embarrassing? get over it? stuff like that happens to you all the time y/n, I don’t know why you are making such a big teal of it.

*deal of it.

me: wow, you’re being of such help.

seungmo: you’re overthinking it. as always.

me: but i’ll have to SEE HIM again.

Seungmin’s little three writing dots disappeared, and you waited in silent anxiety for what he would say next.

[19:24]

seungmo: you’ve got a crush on him don’t you

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

The evening sky had darkened, and you felt the air temperature begin to drop. It wasn’t unbearable however, and you had prepared yourself well with your giant sheep-like blanket wrapped around your shoulders. The cold wire chair that you sat in was undoubtedly pressing shapes into your bare legs crossed up on it, but you never seemed to mind it.

Bomi yowled behind the sliding glass door to your backyard, so you allowed her to exit, making her a much happier cat. The two of you enjoyed these nights together deeply--they almost felt like a brief escape from life. Bomi would sneak around the edges of the fence, sniffing and looking rather suspicious when her green eyes would glow in the light of the house. Your glasses likely looked the same reflecting the light from your computer screen.

You took one more sip of tea, then opened up your internet. A couple clicks, and you found the notification screen on your page.

hearts: 267

shares: 19

comments: 21

Your eyes scanned over the little paragraphs that some of your readers had written for you. It made your heart swell with immense joy seeing the way that they had analyzed and picked apart every little part of your prose and how they would write IN ALL CAPITIAL LETTERS about how excited they were for your next chapter.

I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’m DYING to know what was in that chest!! I really hope that Bomi can trust Davers. He just seems a little shady to me >////<

YOU’RE INSANE FOR THIS. The fact that Bomi could fight off the dragon while Blaze was confessing his feelings for her??? I could never lollll

P L E A S E protect little Herbie. He’s such a cutie. I wish that hedgehog companions were real, I would take one with me everywhereeeee

N/n, your writing is so so pretty!! I felt like I was right there in the scene with them! The way that you described the enchanted fountain had me drooling ahhh you’re such an inspiration to me as a writer!!!

Blaze fanclub?? i’m trying to see somethin’

“If Blaze were real, I’d be the president of that fanclub.” You laughed out to yourself.

Suddenly, you found you thoughts shifting from your dreamy Blaze to someone much less fictional.

Crushes on boys who were real was much better than one’s who weren’t. It was nice admitting it to yourself at last.

“Ahhhh” You sighed out, doing a little happy dance in your seat, then opened up the chat box to return to the replies.

After responding to as many as you could, you opened up a new chapter.

Chapter 22

Blaze wiped off his sword, stained with the steel blue blood of the dragon, still steaming with heat underfoot. His disheveled deep black trellises were coated in his own sweat but it didn’t make him look any less dashing--per usual.

“Princess Bomi, you still haven’t answered my question.”

Bomi sheathed her own sword, then inspected her wooden shield for any more damage. For a moment, she thought that the claw marks made it look even more beautiful and intimidating.

“Blaze. You know that I can’t talk about romance at a time like this, have you forgotten that the kingdom as stake?”

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Bomi perched at her usual spot in the window, eyes fluttering closed before she would take her nap that would last for nearly the whole afternoon. You would have been lazing with her, but that would have to wait another hour or so: with your newest paycheck, you had decided to deliver some new flowers to yourself for your garden.

The little array was spread out before you: yellow and purple pansies, pink tulips, fuchsia and baby pink peonies, and dainty while lilies of the valley were arranged where you had planned to adorn your front lawn. The aroma of the flowers lingering in the air was enough to make you feel as if you had transported yourself to the very magical gardens that you would be writing about that evening.

A pair of songbirds chittered past, carrying their whistles behind them. For a brief moment, the sun shone directly onto your arms spotted with dirt and filled your whole body with warmth. Nothing was more peaceful than this. You took to work, crackling them out of their plastic pots, and digging at the earth in holes to hold them down. After a while, you felt the dew from the grass start to soak into your work-jeans, but it was a welcome little cool feeling. Next, you popped up to hose them down with your little attachment that made the water cascade like a rain-shower. You admired for a moment how the water would create little rainbows from the spray.

“Ahem, uh-hi there!”

You choked out a gasp before swinging around, aiming the hose like your sword to the startling voice.

“STAY BACK!!’

You pointed the stream directly at them, only in your horror to see your neighbor, trademark cardigan and all, soaking wet from your weapon.

“GOD! That’s cold.”

The fabric hung onto him, adhering to every part of his body which was much more toned than you had expected.

Minho looked absolutely bewildered as the water dripped off his frame with sad little pat pat pats on the concrete sidewalk.

“Oh God. Oh God. Minho, I’m so so sorry. I-I can’t believe that I keep doing this to you--”

You nearly felt like crying, but for fear of embarrassing yourself further, you decided to turn around quickly in search of your rags. They were garden rags, but dry nonetheless.

“Here, here, I-I think that these should help.”

You dabbed at his body, although it was clear that this wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Stop, stop,” He pushed your hands away. “I just live next door, I’ll live being a little drenched.”

“You realize that's an oxymoron right?” Your nervous hands continued dabbing.

“A what??” Minho kindly laughed at your frantic hands.

“It’s a...writing thing. Sorry...”

“I really need to be careful around you don’t I?”

Your mouth crinkled into a flustered line. “M’sorry.”

“Can you quit apologizing?? Here, I came over to give you these, my mom made some extra side dishes so she wanted me to bring them over to you.”

“Oh.” He handed you the little bundle of Tupperware containers. “Thanks.”

“She also, or--I mean--I wanted to invite you over so that you could meet my cats...and! my mom. My mom too.”

“You want me to come over?”

“I did mention that I wanted to a little while ago didn’t I?”

“Oh! You did...”

“Does next Saturday work? Around 5?”

“I-I can do five.” You brushed your muddied hand across your sweating brow.

Minho scoffed, “You’ve...got something...on your...”

“Oh! Oops.” You tried your best to wipe off the dirt, but you didn’t know you had only made it worse.

Minho squeezed out his soaked sleeve to carefully raise it to your forehead. “Here, like this.”

This close to you, his brown eyes deeply shone with the color of coffee, chocolate, the bark of forest trees after a spring rain, and a million other things that your writer brain could compare them to.

“There. It’s all gone.”

For a moment, you wondered if you really had fantasized him, or if he really was real. For you, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he was some kind of figment of your imagination: they usually were.

₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

[1 missed call, Mom, 09:12]

“Y/n are you there? Why is it that you never pick up your phone? I’ve told you so many times that you should pick up when I call. What if it’s an emergency? What if someone’s died?? Nevermind, I wanted to call and tell you my friend’s daughter is getting engaged and I’ve been invited to the bridal party. I think that you should come with. It’ll be good to get you out of that house.

Why is it that you haven’t gotten yourself married yet? You know that you aren’t getting any younger?? Either way, call me back. You’ll need to bring a gift too. Its impolite to show up without a gift.

Ah, I almost forgot. Your brother got a promotion at work; I’m not sure if he’s told you. We’ll be having dinner to celebrate this weekend. Can I count on you to be there?

Also, how is the job search going? Your father has some more connections for you to speak to. You need to take advantage of every one of them. You’re so close to getting something that really matters. I can feel it. Ah, I just feel like you’re wasting away there sitting at that computer with those silly classes. It’s like, barely any contribution at all. You could be making so much more money.

Anyway, call me back once you hear this.

love you sweetie, talk soon.

i know that its tuesday and i said I would publish on mondays shhh just pretend I published this yesterday ooP

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johannstutt413 · 4 years ago

Text

(requested by calligomiles)

“I’ll admit,” Swire said ‘calmly’ as she swung from one rotting platform to another, “this is not how I thought I’d die!”

“You’re not going to die,” Gavial scolded as she actually enabled the swinging, the Feline in her arms as they made their escape.

The money-cat shook her head. “We definitely are, and it’s all your fault!”

“Miss Swire, it’s not anything I did that got us in this situation.” Two reasons not to drop her would only last so long. “Reunion got the drop on us, you got hurt in the opening salvo, and since we don’t have any comms access because we apparently were the only ones to go this way, the only thing I’ve done is make sure you didn’t stay put.”

“Yeah? Well...well...Alright.” The meds weren’t quite strong enough to fully eliminate the pain, and it was starting to get to her.

Gavial noticed the change and cursed under her breath. “Once we can slow down I’ll ahhhhh!”

“Ahhhhh!” Swire joined in as she realized what’d just happened. “I told youuuuu!”

*thunk, bonk, shhhk* “Well, at least we landed on my other arm. You alright there, Kitkat?...Kitkat?”

The Feline half-mumbled, half-grumbled, “No...I’m gonna take a nap-”

“Don’t you dare.” The Archosaurian glanced around their surroundings and located a wall to set the money-cat upright against. “Good news is, they aren’t chasing us after that fall; bad news is, if they don’t come for us within the next couple of days, I don’t think that’s gonna matter. Damn condemned buildings...Guess they’ve already been damned once, though, huh?”

“Boooo.” It was getting hard to even whisper, really.

That redirected the Medic to her patient quick, fast, and in a hurry. “Concussion, broken arm, probably some internal shit but I don’t have a scanner right now...We’re only doing first aid here, not full repairs, but damn if it doesn’t suck to be you right now. Don’t die on me, alright?”

“me? die on you? i won’t...still kinda sleepy though...” Swire’s eyes steadily opened and closed. “hey look...there’s three gabby’s now...”

“Damnit all,” she mumbled; she’d rather have yelled it, but not with the Feline’s head in the shape it was in. Without another word, she unwrapped one, two, three medi-gel syringes and injected her patient with each, one in each leg and the third in her busted arm. It was enough to keep her stable, but probably not awa-

The money-cat set an arm on her shoulder. “thanks gabbies...i feel...a little better...already...”

“We’ll have some serious rehab to do if- when we get home, but for now that’s all I can do.” Gavial wiped the back of her hand on her uniform, only to realize it was actually still bleeding, and had to use the other to wipe her eye. “Just try to stay awake for me, alright?”

“alright...hey, could you...hold my hand?”

The Archosaurian did without any hesitation. “I’m not going anywhere, don’t you worry.”

“i’m not...i just wanted to...just in case...” Her head drifted to one side. “when we get home...i’ll buy you a...coffee...”

“That’ll be nice.” She squeezed her hand, grimacing as she felt the wound gush a little. Looks like she wasn’t in the best shape herself...not even enough energy for Medical Arts…

Why hadn’t anyone told her how comfortable concrete was before?...

--------------

The next thing Swire saw was the inside of the Rhodes Island infirmary; sitting in a chair next to her, with one arm in a sling, was Gavial, who had the brightest smile the Feline had ever seen on her. “We made it back - Elysium realized what’d happened, and once they routed Reunion they found us and emergency evac’d. Mission accomplished, somehow.”

“That’s- ow.” The money-cat grimaced. “That’s good. No painkillers?”

“Not until you actually woke up, they said. You awake yet?”

She thought about it for a moment before deciding. “Not yet. Can I have a coffee?”

“Caffeine doesn’t mix well with the painkiller, trust me. Makes it wear off faster.” The Archosaurian patted the armrest of her friend’s bed. “You’ve really been putting up a fight, you know. Elysium said when he found us, you were still awake even though I’d passed out.”

“I was? Wow.” Swire smiled at her.

The Medic felt her heart skip a beat. “All I needed was a cast and some bedrest, but once I could walk again, I had to see you for myself, just so I knew for sure...”

“That I was alive?” A single nod from her. “Gabby, I said I wouldn’t die on you.”

“You remember that?” Honestly, some of that last bit was still foggy for her.

The Feline rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. You gave me a couple shots and said I’d need a lot of rehabilitation, and then you asked me to stay awake, so I asked you to hold my hand, and then...Are you okay?”

“How do you remember any of that?” Gavial shook her head. “You were almost completely out of it by the time I set you against that wall, and I wasn’t doing much better.”

“Well, I guess I know which of us will have to remember the anniversaries, then.”

...What? “What?”

“Eh?” Swire blinked at her a couple of times. “Wait, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Did you remember all of that because I held your hand?” The Archosaurian was getting to her feet.

The money-cat’s eyes went wide. “No way, that’s- that’s ridiculous, I didn’t stay awake all that time just because I didn’t want to look weak to you!”

“Why would I think that?” She asked in earnest. “And why would that matter?”

“Doesn’t your tribe value strength when...when...When can we go for coffee?” The Feline’s question trailed off into a sigh.

By this point, however, Gavial understood. “Because I saved your life?”

“I mean, if you hadn’t, I couldn’t ask you out, could I?” Swire’s eyes narrowed at her own joke. “No, it’s not just that. You’ve taken care of me after a lot of missions, and I never repaid you for it once, so since I definitely owe you my life by now...I mean, if there’s someone else-”

“Who else would there be?”

She shrugged, wincing as she did. “Do I look like I know?”

“You look like you’re in a lot of pain.” The Archosaurian grabbed a bottle from the bedside table. “I’ll give you your first dose now, since you’re clearly awake, and the faster you’re on your feet, the faster we can get that coffee together. Permission to touch?”

“To give me a pill?” Swire asked.

The Medic sighed. “No, to kiss you on the forehead.”

“Oh!” What kind of question was that? “Go ahead.”

“Thanks. Rest up, and as soon as you’re good to go, we’ll go on that date.” She slipped the pill between the Feline’s lips before following through on her request.

...and then, for good measure, she gave her a proper kiss. Just in case.

#arknights #arknights fic #gavial (arknights)#swire (arknights)#she might be cold-blooded (maybe i dunno for sure)#but Gabby's sweeter than some might give her credit for #always good to see her being rewarded for her awesomeness

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mars-the-4th-planet · 6 years ago

Text

Yuri Gagarin continues to face trouble.

"Come back here you little jerk!" Yuri Gagarin called out as Penny pushed her as fast as she could.

"Nyaaaa!" The Finn replied.

"Yuri Gagarin, I cant push you forever! I am running low on power." Penny warned.

"You are right... We cant catch Kuusi Palaa..." She sighed. "You may stop."

Penny slowed down and stopped, and watched as the 8 inch bottle rocket girl zipped away laughing.

"I will never get a Kremlin piece..." Anguished Yuri Gagarin. "I have no choice but to return to Sayori, for I hast once again proven a failure beyond failure."

"Dont worry friend! I have one of those!" Penny said happily.

"Y-You do?!"

"Yes! I didnt say anything before, but I am equipped with the item you need!"

"Well, give it to me then!"

"But Yuri Gagarin... I.. Um... Need it."

"Need it how?"

"I cant function without that part... But if you want it so much, I am happy to give it to you!" Penny said cheerfully and began opening herself up.

"NO! Look... Its fine, okay? We will have other opportunities." Yuri said quickly, stopping her. "What are you doing?! This is your chance! She can give you what you need to fly again! All you will need afterwards is some fuel and surely a nice communist at the market will give you some!" She thought to herself, chiding her own behavior.

Nevertheless, something was stopping her from demanding that Penny give her a vital part of her mechanism. If Yuri Gagarin was going to escape to Russia and defeat Freedom Sayori, she was going to do it with her robot at her side.

...

Meanwhile, in the English Manor Of Mannerisms...

Sitting on a big cushy chair in front of a fireplace was Monarcha, the Monarchial Monika. She had a shot glass of vodka. It wasnt for her, the tea was for her. The Finn flew in through a large open window and landed on a big red cushion next to the chair.

Monarcha took the component and picked up Kuusi Palaa with it. "So! It would seem that Yuri Gagarin is attempting to undermine the little sad colonists authority. Just as expected. She wants to repair her rocket and fly away. Well I for one am QUITE happy you stopped her, my little devil."

"Lankaa re vodka sakjiarven da."

"You want the Vodka as payment, as agreed upon?"

Kuusi Palaa nodded.

Monarcha tossed the shot glass into the fireplace making a burst of flame!

"Kyoo! Dejit min da kusomorei! BITCH!"

"I do not appreciate that kind of crude language in this Manor, little Finn." Monarcha said, holding the bottle rocket up close. "Quite the spicy one, arent you?"

Kuusi Palaa suddenly seemed to realize how bad the situation was. She stared forward in terror as Monarcha licked her lips. "She cant fit me in her mouth right? Right?!" She thought desperately. It looked like it would be a close fit, and Monarcha was going to give it the ol college try.

Kuusi Palaa activated her rocket suddenly and bonked headfirst into her forehead. But Monarcha screamed and flung her aside. "AHHH! AHHH BLOODY HELL YOU LITTLE BUGGER YOU BURNED MY WRIST, OH SON OF A BOLLOCKS!" And she got up and rushed to close the windows while the dazed Finn was sliding around the floor with a small jet of blue flame behind her. Monarcha was favoring her angry red wrist with one hand, and looking for something she could use to bust the rocket to prevent that from happening again.

...

Over at Sayoris house...

"Yuri! That is MY hot tub! You and Penny need to give me a turn!" Freedom Sayori complained. She had been caught in a cloud of space dust that made her all dirty. And these two were taking forever. Penny had even attached a waterproof cord to herself to charge, a sign that she was going to be there a while longer.

"Sayori, thou must learn patience."

"Yuri, I have learned patience. I want you out of their in ten minutes or it will be you who cleans me again!"

Yuri Gagarin shuddered at the thought, and began finishing up. "Come on Penny, lets go use the pond outside."

"Yay! I love frogs!"

"I wish we could be free, Penny. No matter how much stuff Sayori has, I still want to not be under her supervision."

"I know Yuri Gagarin, but remember that there are people in worse situations! I hope I can make it more bearable for you here!"

Yuri Gagarin smiled at the sweet robot. "Yes... I am certain you will, friend."

#Yuri Gagarin arc

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minimin1993 · 5 years ago

Text

S/M 18

Warning: Cuteness. Implied Smut f/f.

House Party

“Wow you really scored a nice place here sweetheart.” RDJ said walking in with Susan right behind him.

“Oh this is for you.” He handed her a house warming gift.

“Robert you didn’t have to.” Min said trying to refuse the thing.

“Nope, the matter is settled.” He said refusing to take it back so Min opened the bag pulling out a box. When she opened the box she got a little teary eyed seeing a gorgeous hourglass laying in it.

“Robert, you didn’t.” She said carefully taking it out of the box.

“I saw you eyeing the thing last time but didn’t get it, so I thought it was suited for this purpose. Welcome back to America.” He said making Min hug him tightly.

“Thank you Robert and Susan its gorgeous and I know exactly where to put this beautiful thing.” She said after hugging Susan as well.

“No problem love, you deserve nothing but the best.” Susan said hugging her back.

“Hey man you made it.” Sebastian said giving Chace a bro hug when he came in

“Of course man, it’s nice to see you again Min. You met my girl Rachelle already.” Chace said giving Min a hug.

“Yeah welcome guys, feel free to help yourself with anything you guys want.” Min said winking before hearing a familiar voice.

“Where’s my Minnie Mouse?” G-Dragon came in with Taeyang, CL, and a few new face she couldn’t recognize.

“JiYong Oppa!!” Min scream practically running over to the man giving him a kiss on the lips surprising Sebastian.

“Dam I missed you, partying haven’t been the same without you.” He said holding tightly on her waist.

“Come on, I literally just saw you guys a few months ago.” She said

“Yeah and? You finally get single and you leave to America! You didn’t even give me a chance before leaving.”

“Pshh, you know I love you too much to ruin our friendship like that and technically I did at the after party. Oh Sebastian this is GD, the special one I told you about.” Min introduced him.

“Uh huh, I heard so much about you.” Sebastian said shaking GD hand.

“Likewise ma man. This one talks about you alot. Thanks for taking care of her.” GD said giving Sebastian a fist bump. “Oh, before I forget, this is part of our YG’s new group that haven’t debuted yet.” GD said winking at Min pulling the girls up. “This is Rose and Jennie.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, I am a big fan.” Jennie said making Min face heat up.

“Thanks. Umm welcome, make yourself at home. There is drinks over there.” Min said trying not to stutter pointing to the kitchen.

“What was that?” Sebastian said nudging Min playfully when they walked over to the drink.

“What? Nothing.” Min said watching the girl walk away.

“That doesn’t look like nothing. Holy shit, you like her.” Sebastian said.

“Shut up, is it that obvious?” Min said blushing harder.

“Yeah kinda even GD figured it out judging his smug smirk he has right now.” He said pointing over to GD who gave Min a knowing wink.

“Fucking shit you both I swear.” Min pouted.

“Naw girl, you that obvious.” CL said hanging throwing her arm over Min shoulder.

“Shut up! Before I shank yoo ass.” Min said playfully.

The night progressed Sebastian and GD made it their mission to get Min and Jennie together. And lets just say it wasn’t as hard as they thought seeing Jennie walk over to Min.

“So Min, I was wondering if you want to go hang out for a bit.” Jennie said shyly as she approached Min who was talking to Chris.

“Yeah, excuse me Chris.” She said before walking with the shy girl to a secluded place her backyard before sitting down near the pool.

“So I am a big fan of your group, when JiYong oppa told me you were throwing a party I instantly begged him to let me come and meet you.”

“Thanks sweetheart, I can’t wait to listen to you when you guys debut.” Min said proudly. “So since you probably know a bit about me, tell me a little about yourself.”

“I am from Korea but moved to New Zealand for a while. I wanted to pursue a music career so I begged my mother to let me. I guess it worked out in the long run.” Jennie beamed with happiness.

“Hell yeah, you made it in YG. Its a company that won’t fail, you guys will do great things. Look at JiYong and TaeYang Oppa and CL.” Min said winking at the girl making her blush.

As the sun slowly people were slowly starting to leave only a few of them stayed and they settle in the backyard by the pool smoking and taking shots.

Chris and his own and off again girlfriend Minka was inside her house sitting on the couch making out like teenagers making her and Sebastian laugh.

“God damn they are going to christen my couch before I even get to.” Min said making everyone laugh.

“Yeah and who are you going to christen it with?” GD teased making her bonk him on the head.

“Not you if that's what you’re implying. Maybe CL.” Min said laying on CL.

“Girl I love you but not that much.” She said pushing Min off her making everyone laugh before Sebastian leaned over to Min and whispered into her ears. “You know there is someone here who haven’t stopped looking at you since she got here.” Sebastian hinted.

“You know what fuck it.” Min said handing Sebastian the blunt standing up she grabbed Jennie into a bruising kiss which she gladly reciprocated making the group bust out clapping and whistling.

“Wanna go upstairs?” Min whispered into the girls’ lips feeling her nod. Min stood up and start to pull the girl inside the house upstairs flipping the group off hearing them laugh harder.

“Well that was unexpected.” Chace said taking the blunt from Sebastian.

“That’s Min for you.” Sebastian said with a smirk on his face.

“Well that's my cue to leave, the last thing I want is to be in a house with Min going at it.” GD said with a smirk.

“True that.” CL and Taeyang said getting up and left along with almost everyone else except Sebastian who settles in the guest room aka his room.

The next morning Min came downstairs wearing an oversized t-shirt clearly hungover with multiple love marks on her neck seeing Sebastian making breakfast with Chris sitting there with a smug look on his face staring at her.

“Looks like our princess had fun last night.” Sebastian said with a smirk placing her pancake on her plate.

“So where is the lucky gal?” Chris said wondering why the girl hasn’t came downstairs.

“She is still sleeping, I might have worn her out last night.” Min said with a proud smirk on her face making the boy laugh at her.

“By the way, Happy Birthday Princess.” Sebastian said handing her a present along with Chris.

“Thanks but you guys didn’t have to get me anything, I technically got a present upstairs already.” She said winking at them.

“Uh huh just open it princess, it's nothing big this year but its thoughtful.” Chris said excited for her to open the 2 small boxes.

When she opened the 2 boxes she felt tears coming.

“Guys, these are gorgeous” Seeing a starfish seashell charm and a sunrise wave charm..

“Since we can’t really give you the ocean, so we thought we could give you something that will remind you of it.” Sebastian said taking out the starfish seashell charm and hooking it onto the bracelet she never takes off as Chris does the same with the sunrise wave charm.

“Thank you guys, I swear this bad boy is going to be so full one day.” Min said looking at the other charms currently hanging on there making her giggle. “And it’s funny because it’s so random too.”

“Isn’t that the reason of a charm bracelet?” Chris said before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“True.” Min said smiling at the boys.

When they finish breakfast Min made a plate for Jennie and brought it upstairs hearing the boys chuckle having her yelling at them to shut up before disappearing in her room to find the girl still sleeping with love marks all over her neck and chest making her proud.

“Hey sleeping beauty, it’s almost 11. Sebastian made breakfast and I thought maybe you like some.” Min said slowly waking the girl up as she yawns and stretches revealing her still very naked chest making Min smirk seeing love marks on there as well.

“Morning, you know how to tire a girl out.” Jennie said blushing.

“Come on you can’t still be blushing after all that last night.” Min said with a smirk on her face.

“Maybe, I just. You’re my idol and here I am in your bed wearing your love marks all over my body.” Jennie said looking down seeing her body loaded with love marks.

“Hey you got in your fair shares too” Min said pointing to her neck as well.

“I am sorry, I get carried away when I smoke.” Jennie apologize.

“Sweetie no need to say sorry, I love these marks you gave me.” Min said bending down to give the girl a kiss on the lips.

“Morning breathe.” Jennie said turning away.

“I don’t care.” Min said turning her face back before laying a juicy kiss on her lips.

“How long you here for?” Min asked against her lips.

“Training here for a while.”

“Good, you doing anything for Valentine this year?” Min asked against her lips .

“No.” Jennie said

“Be my Valentine?” Min asked

“It would be my pleasure.” Jennie said with a smile.

“Naw sweetie the pleasure is all mines.” Min said before pulling the blanket off the girl

“Oh before I forget, Happy Birthday.” Jennie said pulling Min on top of her

“You remember?”

“Of course, I did tell you you’re my Idol.” Jennie said with a wink pulling the oversized T-shirt off Min and starts to ravish each other all over again.

“God dam, they going at it again.” Chris said as he puts on his shoes about to leave making Sebastian laugh.

“She works fucking fast. Come on let's leave the couple alone. I don’t think I can be in the same house with 2 girls going at it again.” Sebastian said pushing Chris out of the door.

“You and me both.” Chris said before they both bust out laughing. “We are boys after all.”

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