#BUCKY FINALLY LIVING LIFE!!!! WITH KENNEDY BY HIS SIDE!!!!!

[wexhappyxfew]

whatever you do, DON’T think about bucky crumbling in the stalag, but then he looks over at kennedy, and he thinks about the red-haired babies with giant ears they want to have and so he pushes through for her

BUCKY 😭 ENVISIONING 😭 THE 😭 FUTURE 😭 HE 😭 COULD 😭 HAVE 😭 WITH 😭 KENNEDY 😭

sweet anon plz know i saw this and was UTTERLY destroyed at the thought of bucky *finally* gaining some sort of ground for his future - he’s in love with this woman and wants to live the rest of his life with her, but he’s STILL HERE. but the possibility of a future with her outweighs all the bad and makes him dig deep and fight even more, even when he wants to fall over and stay down on the forced march, or when they make it from camp to camp. LIKE. ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE!!!!!!! bucky fighting to stay alive for kennedy and the possibility of a family. I CANT TAKE IT!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!! AND RED-HAIRED BABIES BECAUSE OF KENNEDY LIKE !!!!!! he will have his own little egan’s running around, a cute little home on a roadside WITH kennedy, the person who he felt truly saved him, AND he will get to live after this horrid war 😭 i. cant. do. this.

[abbatoirablaze]

Djinn (The Genie), Chapter 4

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: slight angst in the beginning with some fluff to land on in the end.

You’d been left in a revolving door of memories with him.

Before the serum. After he’d been brought back. When Armin tasked you with ensuring that he continued to come back after each and every mission until you were pulled from him after the Kennedy assassination. In the twenty years that you’d had before you were pulled away from him, you felt whole.

Complete even.

But now you were sitting in Steve’s apartment, alone with your memories, the tears streaming down your cheeks were the only thing keeping you grounded to where you were, while Steve showered after his workout.

You hadn’t said more than a few words the next couple of days after you had shown Steve that you knew of Bucky. Thankfully he hadn’t wanted to stay…because the next few memories you had of Bucky were after he’d come back. After you’d used your magic to save him.

You knew very well that Steve wasn’t aware that Bucky had survived the train. That you’d saved him. And it wasn’t information that you had wanted to volunteer. After all, you weren’t even aware if he was still alive…and after everything you had been through when you’d lost him, you didn’t want Steve to wish it, and you have to come to terms with an answer that you didn’t want.

You weren’t afraid that he was dead…you were afraid that he was alive and free. And if he’d somehow escaped HYDRA, and went on to live a normal life, without ever trying to find you. Sure, you knew the logistics of it. Even if he was alive and had come to find you, you would forever be someone else’s property. He’d never be able to just ‘walk away’ with you.

There was no happy ending when it came to you and Bucky.

And that was a pain that you couldn’t face.

“Hey.” Your eyes shot to Steve. He was staring at you, his blue/green eyes full of concern, “are you okay?”

“That’s a stupid question to ask someone.”

His look of concern faded into a frown. He gave a heavy sigh as he held up his cell phone, “I-I didn’t go grocery shopping so takeout?”

“How you manage to function is beyond me.” you growl, snapping your fingers. Steve looked behind himself and saw that there was a decent spread of food. Shepherd’s pie. Steak and potatoes. But his eyes caught the bowl of plums sitting off to the far side. And his frown fell once more, as he felt a sadness in his chest.

You instantly felt it and following his eyes, you saw Bucky’s favorite things. You felt your own sadness tinge the cord that stretched between the two of you as you blinked, and they disappeared. You felt your lip quiver as when you called forth food, it had become almost second nature to bring all of his favorites. Everything that he loved. His favorite comfort food. His favorite fruit. The meal he said that he missed the most. You blinked again and it all disappeared, a pizza sitting in its place. Steve finally looked back at you, and your gaze fell to the floor, “I-I didn’t mind any of the food that was there.”

“It’s not for you…” you snapped, unable to stop the emotions. Tears streamed down your cheeks, and you closed your eyes, disappearing into the place you’d already claimed as your ‘home away from home.’

You frowned when you heard noise coming from outside, and a slight jostling as he put the watch on his wrist. You stayed in your own little space as you heard Steve begin to talk to himself, rather, acting as though he were talking to Bucky.

“Can you please stop?”

You felt another jostle as he heard your voice. Looking around, he didn’t know where you were, but you seemed like you were close. Steve was confused.

“Djinn?”

“I’m in your watch.”

He looked at it, as though he’d somehow be able to see you, and you sighed, “why are you in my watch?”

“Because you don’t have a lamp,” you tried to joke, the bitterness easily rolling off your tongue. When you fell upon silence so abrupt that a cricket could have made bank off of it, you gave another hefty sigh, “genies find spaces that are close to their masters so they don’t have to be very far…I don’t want to have to explain it all…”

“Your dad used to use my compass,” he mused. You could hear the smile in his voice with the next comment, “he laughed because he saw Peggy’s face all the time…d-does this mean that you want to be close to me, Djinn?”

“My physiology wants to be close to you,” you grumbled, “a genie naturally wants to be close to their master, even if they despise them. I’m nothing more than a leech that gets off on your wishes.”

“You could just stay in here with me.” You appeared in front of him, laying on the edge of the bed as he was lying in the center. Your eyes stared up into his as you made yourself comfortable, resting along the arm that held the watch. He blushed but didn’t move his arm or adjust himself on the bed. You continued to stare him down, hoping to make him uncomfortable. It didn’t take long for him to look away, “I-I didn’t mean on my bed.”

You watched his eyes, choosing your next words carefully, “I can leave if you wish.”

“No-I…” he sighed softly, moving just enough so that there was more room between the two of you. You moved closer as to not be on the edge of the bed and his eyes widened, “what are you doing, Djinn?”

“Not falling off of your bed,” you say simply, “do I make you nervous, Steve?”

“Yes.”

You furrow your brow in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to be honest about it. But nonetheless you moved closer, until your head rested softly on his forearm. You weren’t going to admit that you felt vulnerable, and really had been craving his touch.

As a genie, your physiology did make you want to be closer to him, and it was almost a calming agent when you physically touched your master.

“Djinn?”

“Yes Steve?” you sniffled, tears already lining your ducts. He sighed and looked away.

“Physiology.”

“What?”

He looked back to you and gently pulled you against his chest. While it was an awkward interaction, you inhaled deeply, silently grateful for the contact. You hadn’t felt a master’s touch since the 40’s when Red skull would pat your head like you were an obedient puppy, and while it didn’t sate what you needed to truly be happy, it was better than nothing. Bucky had always attempted to compensate for it when Armin became your master, and allowed you to essentially become his shadow, but there was a different feeling attached to Steve holding you in his arms. One that both unsettled you and made you content.

“Can I ask you something?”

You looked up into Steve’s blue eyes and nodded, unsure if you really wanted to verbalize your answer, in case it was something you didn’t want to answer.

“Your memory…of Buck…” he started. You frowned and instantly looked away, your hand starting to draw shapes along the white tee that he wore as you let yourself half pay attention to what your master asked, “and the memory of the day you helped Kruger. Your magic was pink before Erskine died.”

“He willed his powers to me,” you said softly, trying to hold back your emotions, “a-a genie’s power or what they feed off of is based around emotions…”

“The blue?”

“Happiness.”

Steve wanted to smile. Dr. Erskine had been a light to him, a ray of happiness for him in a very dark part of his life.

“And the pink?”

“Love and kindness.”

Steve stifled a chuckle. He couldn’t imagine you focusing your magic on those emotions, especially with a previous master like red skull.

“But the purple?”

“Pain,” you frowned, looking away from Steve all together, as your mind instantly wandered back to how much of Bucky’s pain you had taken away, “it-it is pain. When I take it away…or cause it-”

Steve sighed, and took your hands in his own, stopping the patterns you had been drawing on his shirt. Your eyes met his, and you could feel the heartbreak through the bond, “Djinn?”

“I-I should go,” you mutter softly, the tears that were pricking at your eyes, falling once more, “I-“

“I wish you would spend the night with me…in my arms.”

Your eyes glowed softly, as you complied with his wish without saying anything. He held you as your tears flowed, and secretly, he wished that he could make your own pain go away. But he knew that would be a fruitless effort.

You allowing him to hold you was pushing the boundary for as far as he was concerned. You had hated him. In your eyes, he was the reason that your father was gone. But the small gesture of not twisting the wish around made him grateful, that maybe there was hope for the two of you to deal with one another while you were stuck with him.

Steve woke shortly after midnight when a small breeze shifted through the room.

One of the many upsides of being a super soldier was that he was a light sleeper, always ready for the next thing he had to take care of. The next mission. But he hadn’t expected you to just leave him. He looked to his arm and saw that the watch had been removed from his wrist and was laid on his chest, with his arms over it.

And he knew that you were inside of it.

You were technically ‘in his arms,’ and ‘with him.’

“I know what you’re doing, Djinn,” he said in a sad tone as he patted the wrist. He moved it over his heart and let out a heavy sigh, knowing you could feel the sadness through your bond, “I’m not going to push you on it…not today…but eventually, we’re going to have to have a more serious conversation.”

And when you didn’t respond, he let sleep take him once more.

In the morning, you were back to lying in his arms. The watch was magically back on his wrist. You’d listened to his heart for a few hours, before deciding that you needed more contact. And since he had ‘technically’ wished for it, you didn’t feel guilty when you carefully wrapped yourself up in him, allowing yourself to place your head over his heart so that you could still hear the soft and steady pulse.

You had allowed yourself to fall asleep like that, against your own better judgement.

You didn’t want Steve to get any sort of idea that you suddenly were okay with him. You very much were still upset by his wish to see you in the Hydra base, and with Bucky. But after hours of reasoning with yourself inside of the watch, the idea that you deserved it is what brought you the little happiness you felt in the bond being in your masters’ arms.

And when you had reappeared, Steve pretended to still be asleep. He pretended that you had gotten away with your little trick, in hopes that he would get to hold you just a little while longer.

Because while he knew you hated him desperately, there was the smallest part of pink that tinged the cord between you and him. And while you chalked it up to him being kind, he knew deep in his heart that he was starting to get feelings for you.

Chapter 5

[wienerbarnes]

Old Friend

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 2,333

Warnings: nothing this time! warm feelings

A/N: ok so I have an idea but it'd kind of be a bigger plot point for this universe so I'm gonna try and do some head cannons to fill in some gaps before writing the next big part! feel free to send in any ideas! ill write em if they strike the inspo :)

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

“Bucky! You’re finally back!”

Your body jumped into his arms with excitement, happiness and joy radiating off of your body immediately causing a toothy smile to grow on his face. He caught you in his arms, wrapping both around your waist and lifting up off the ground, your arms curling around his neck.

“Sorry, I was longer than expected.” Bucky says, slowly letting you down back on your feet.

What was supposed to be a week long investigation in London turn into seven weeks as a string of human trafficking crimes were tied to more and more people, forcing him and Sam to extend their stay.

Bucky enters your apartment and makes his way to one of your cabinets, taking out two placemats, a set of plates, and silverware as he watches you make your way back to the stove. Regardless of the fact that he’s been away for a while, the two of you seem to fall back into rhythm as though nothing’s changed.

“I found this easy tomato soup recipe so I made it with some grilled cheese sandwiches,” You explain, slowly stirring the red liquid in the pot. You don’t turn around but Bucky can hear the proud smile in your voice. “I even remembered to wash my hands this time,”

“I missed you.” He says suddenly, seemingly not being able to hold himself back. You pause your stirring and look over your shoulder back at him, “I missed you, too, Bucky.” A wide smile spreading across your face.

Something changed in him the last seven weeks.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. At first it was worry; constantly wondering if you were safe, if you had gotten yourself into any complicated situations without him around to help you. Everytime Sam’s phone would ring, a part of him was terrified that it was a phone call to inform him that you had been found and were being transported back to prison. You don’t have a phone or any other means of communication, so it was hard for him to constantly be worrying without any way of checking in on you.

Soon, the worry was replaced with longing. He began to miss your different colored hair, always changing it up for appearance, but also you making him guess what color you were going next before not telling him anyway. He missed the way you were always coloring your nails, changing out your earrings everyday with something new and colorful, the way you would tell him awful jokes he’d heard a thousand times before, jokes that would make blush and cringe, the way you’d tell him stories from your past; the fact that you trust him enough to do so in the first place.

Everything he saw in London reminded him of you in some way. Everything he saw, he wished you were there with him to share it with. He couldn’t wait to tell you about the people, the buildings, the food; he could only imagine the way you’d fake an accent to see how long you could get away with it around locals or the way you’d tease about how “they’re driving on the wrong side of the road.”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, I did a thing!” You snap him out of his thoughts with the placement of the soup bowl and two sandwiches on the table in front of him. He sits down and his eyes widen as you pull down your pants.

He doesn’t have time to be distracted with your lime green cheeky underwear because he’s distracted by the large outline of a tattoo running down your leg.

There’s no shading or color, only black lines that outline countless flowers and leaves, lines filling in the spaces in between. The tattoo spans from the top of your thigh, disappearing in between your inner thighs and trailing down to your ankle. You twist your leg in a bit to show how it wraps around, and you're completely unaware of the look on Bucky’s face. He never knew he had a thing for tattoos until now.

He closes his eyes while you're not looking, trying to calm the heat he can feel against his neck and ears.

“How did- How did you even do that?” He asks, glancing up at the smile on your face as you stare down at your own leg.

“Okay, so- I found this cool tattoo shop, right? And I go in and they tell me that I need an ID and money, both of which I obviously don’t have, so I left. And then,” You pause to shove your tomato-soaked cheese sandwich into your mouth, red liquid dripping from the corners of your mouth, barely making it onto the plate and dirtying the cloth underneath.

“Then, this guy comes out of nowhere from the shop and he says that he’d be happy to tattoo me for free so he can build his portfolio! So, that’s what I did!” You finish explaining.

“Was he like… sterile?”

“Duh, Bucky. What kind of person do you take me for?” You reassure him.

He pushes both thoughts of another guy rubbing on your thighs and the amount of risk that came with pulling that stunt as you both catch up on each other’s lives. He tells you about London, you tell him about the tattoo experience, he tells you about London life, you tell him about your trips to the fresh market and how you’ve been getting better and better at cooking.

He’s washing the dishes while you towel dry them and put them away in your small cupboard when he brings up an idea to you.

“So, I want you to meet a friend of mine.” He suggests to you.

“Bucky, you know I can’t meet any of your friends.” You respond, deflated, after a moment of silence.

“I know what you're thinking, but I promise this guy is as safe as safe can be. I was thinking of taking a drive to visit him tomorrow, and I think you guys would get along well.” He continues soaping up the china in the sink, but doesn’t look at you; he can guess the nervous look on your face as he senses your tension and hears the increased beat of your heart.

“... Are you trying to set me up with this guy?” You ask, offense present in your voice.

A chuckle escapes him, “I think this guy is… a little out of your age range. Look,” He turns off the water as you dry off the last plate. “Do you trust me?”

“With everything.” You say without an ounce of hesitation.

“Then come with me tomorrow.”

After a moment of thought and consideration, you agree.

…

“I didn’t know you had a car!”

“Got it just for you, doll.”

“Is your license even in date? Have you had your vision checked recently, old man?”

He closes the door behind him and makes his way to the passenger side to open the car door for you, “We’ve got a bit of a drive, I figured this was more comfortable than the bike.”

You’ve dressed up today, a pair of shorts that show off your tattoo, with a large long-sleeved t-shirt adorning your frame, a mis-matched jacket and sweatshirt hanging off of your shoulders. He likes that you’ve got a thing for layers, and he’ll never get over the comfort you take in having fun with your appearance.

A two and a half hour drive leads you both to a reserved house, trees and bushes decorating the front of the property and a basic Welcome Home sign hanging from the door.

“Bucky… who do you know that lives all the way out here?” You ask as he parks. As much as she trusts him, she had nightmares about who she would be meeting today. Her biggest fear was Sam or Sharon. As full of love Bucky is, she wasn’t sure his friends would feel the same; they have a large responsibility and clearly value their job and their morals, which would make it hard for them to see her in the same light Bucky sees her in.

“You’ll see, babe. Just relax, c’mon.” Bucky says, turning off the car and opening the door. You can’t help the warmth flooding your face at the pet name and you hope Bucky doesn’t notice enough to tease you about it as he opens your door for you.

Bucky flips through his keys as you both approach the porch and he finally sticks a silver one into the lock, turning it to the left.

“Must know them pretty well to have a spare key.”

“You have no idea,” Bucky mumbles.

“Steve?” Bucky calls out into the house.

“Back here, Buck!” A raspier voice echoes back.

A elderly man steps out from a side hallway. A friendly smile sits on his face, and you return it, not being able to help it at the sight of a nice-looking old man in a sweater and soft looking slacks.

“I’m Steve. It's a pleasure to meet you.” He holds out a hand, and you shake it, replying with your name as well.

“Sweetheart, this is Steve Rogers.” Bucky informs you.

You freeze, smile dropping from your face and hand pausing in Steves.

“Steve… Rogers? The Steve Rogers? Like- Captain America? But… You-You died!” You exclaim.

“I did, didn’t I,” Steve laughs out, releasing your hand. “Have you eaten?” He asks.

“What the fuck?” You ask, seemingly more confused by that question than the fact that Steve Rogers is, 1: Old, and 2: Alive and well living in a beautiful home in the outskirts of New York.

Another laugh sounds from the older man, “Why don’t you have a seat, I’ll make you guys something, I’m sure you’re hungry after the drive.” He trails off, making his way to the kitchen.

“Wow, nice to see you're a chef now. You’ve come a long way from having no taste buds a century ago.” Bucky jokes, a light smile on his face as he makes his way after Steve towards the kitchen island.

This isn’t fucking real right now. Who else is the government hiding? Cobain? Kennedy? How the fuck am I in Captain America’s super nicely furnished-old-timey style-house that’s hidden away in paradise? It’s so different for you to see Bucky so relaxed. He looks incredibly carefree, joking around, teasing with his best friend. It makes you feel warm inside to see him this way, because as much as the two of you get along, it is rare to see him so happy and bubbly.

You glance around the walls, the place definitely embodying the aesthetic of Steve Rogers, with wooden accents to furniture and decor  and copious amounts of pictures everywhere. Him and his wife, pictures of young adults and children, his kids and grand-kids and great-grand-kids you assume, some of Bucky, both old and new, some of Sam and Sharon.

As the three of you talk, Bucky realizes that he didn’t remember the fact that you were dusted in the snap as he was. You were in the prison when it happened, and it was where you returned when everyone was brought back, but it was large news that Steve Rogers sacrificed his life for the world, along with Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and other heroes. He watches you and Steve interact easily, as though you’ve known each other forever, as he tells you about his time returning the stones, the way he lived when he returned to the forties for good, what it was like seeing life evolve as he already knew it in his mind.

You asked question after question, like a child meeting their favorite celebrity or going on a field trip to their favorite place. You were animated with your questions, exaggerating your thoughts with your hands, all while cursing like a sailor with your vulgar language, all of which Steve loved.

He knew the talking-to he was going to receive from Steve later, he saw it in the look he gave him when he entered the kitchen behind him. He has never brought anyone to see Steve, besides Sam, of course, let alone a girl. This most definitely looks like you and him are in some sort of relationship; this is pretty much the equivalent of meeting the family. Or at least, as much family as he can get away with for now.

He’s not going to know what to respond when Steve asks him about you. In regards to anything; whether or not you two are dating, whether or not he’s going to tell Sam or Sharon, what his feelings are for you. Does he have feelings for you?

The rest of the afternoon is spent sharing stories, looking at pictures, and more and he can see how happy you’ve acted since being here. It’s definitely been a change in your routine for the past two years as you’ve really grown into yourself again.

Bucky’s brain doesn’t shut up the entire drive back to your apartment. He thinks about long drives with you every weekend, he thinks about you meeting the other people that are important to him, he thinks about finding a way to get you a new identity, but cringes at the thought of having to call you another name other than your own. He constantly glances at your sleeping body in the passenger seat next to him, facial features soft as you dream, mouth open just a bit where he can hear the softest snores. You’re using his jacket as a pillow as your sock-covered feet are curled beneath you in the seat.

He sits in his car for a few minutes after dropping you off at the door of your apartment, refusing your invitation inside with a made-up excuse about checking on Alpine and needing to change her box and food, even though he’d bet anything that that cat is fast asleep on his pillow.

He takes a deep breath before taking out his phone and selecting a contact from his favorites. It rings twice before he hears a voice on the other end.

“Hey, Sam? You free? I wanna… I wanna talk to you about something.”

[the-canary]

Pastel Colors - B.B. (Epilogue)

Summary: If only the cute teacher would stop pestering you for a pen.(Library/Teacher AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: you’re always asking me for a pencil because for some damn reason you don’t know that there is a whole store for stationary—happy birthday here’s a gift card to that store. wait, you work there? what the hell?

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @bithors writing challenge.  the end.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and these two geeks in love! 

Feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 |  Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 

Several Months Later.

The new school year had passed you by and you found yourself getting pulled into various new activities, while trying to keep up with the Library Club and what you had already established. You were working more on how to improve the school with Mrs. Potts-Stark that you were basically her right-hand woman, but you were also thinking about going back to school for your Master’s degree, though you didn’t know in what yet, and while you loved the library, there were just so many options opened to you now. James had been in the same boat with working on papers and his increased amount of time with Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark. Together you had it hit close to year and half when Bucky had exclaimed he had a surprised for you over summer break.

To Florida – to visit his family. You remember how that went when you first found out.

“James, are you sure about this?” you pause looking at the little drawing in your hand declaring your trip’s destination, at least it wasn’t anything crazy, “Do we have time? And what about your parents?”

“I set time aside for both us, doll. The Starks know, even pushed me too it,” he laughs while grabbing your hand gently, as your eyes flicker up to see his smiling face, “And you know my parents are ecstatic, especially my mom.”  

“But, are you okay with this?” you murmur softly, knowing by now the story of why he had run away and why he didn’t exactly like thinking about the Sunshine state. You frown in concern and he can’t help the lovestruck smile on his face over how much you care about him.

“I wouldn’t have suggested if I wasn’t,” James explains, as he leans in closer, pressing your forehead against his, “We deserve a break, starlight. Just think the nice weather, barbeques at night, sunny beaches—”

“Buck, are you just trying to get me in a bikini?” you question in laughter, as his face brightens up just a little at the thought.

“Maybe,” he explains shyly, as you put your hand on his stubble before dragging him into a quick peck on the lips. You shake your head.

“Haven’t been to the beach in a long while,” you say as blue eyes light up, “And you always do have the best ideas.”

“Is that yes?” he asks, looking like an excited puppy dog.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

 The both of you decide to take the week following July 4th as gateway time because it was relatively slow following such a big holiday, but you were still in New York to celebrate Steve’s birthday. It’s a little confusing to pack because you hadn’t done it since you had moved to the big city in the first place, but Pietro was there every step of the way – even when you picked out swimsuit, though it was all in gest, so he could send some hilarious texts to Bucky. You head out two days after Steve’s party, and you can’t help but still be a little nervous at the thought of being with the Barnes family for an extended amount of time.

“Sweetheart, it’ll be alright,” James tries to soothe you, as he holds your hands with his, as the two of you walk out of the Daytona Beach International Airport terminal and while he was right, it was still a feeling you couldn’t let go off. Yes, there had been a splattering of dates and boyfriends in your young adult years, but nothing as serious as spending time with his family -- this was a little nerve wracking, but also a little sad in a sense because you knew James would never meet your own mother, who you knew would have just loved him.  

“I hope so,” you let out an unsteady laugh, hoping that he doesn’t notice the sudden sadness you might be feeling, as you notice two very familiar people standing on the side waving at you and Bucky.

“Ma! Dad! ” James picks up speed, but never lets go of your hand until you end up standing in front of a smiling Mrs. Barnes. You give her a smile, James catching up with his father, as the older woman returns it. Her eyes wrinkling in the corners, which make you think once again that James really does take his look after his mother.

“How was the school year?” she questions, as the four of you proceed to leave the airport. The two Barnes man watch you and Winifred still walking on eggshells around each other, though they both knew the truth.

“It went well!” you laugh and James watches in awe, all over again, from the back as you go into your area of explaining how you were doing in your classes and just life in general. A sweet smile sweeps over Winnie’s face and she instances on riding in back with you for the rest of the car ride back to their condo.

 Your time in Florida is mainly spent around Daytona Beach, an area that the George and Winnie had fallen in love with when James still lived there. You didn’t ask much of the past, but you knew there were moments that is still bothered him, but you said nothing and spent your time going to the beach, checking the local popular spots with the Barnes woman, and the occasional barbeque-- though both of you were you wanted to go the most.

“James, where are we going?” you ask, wearing jeans that stopped at your knees, a good pair of running shoes with a light sweater -- just as he had asked of you earlier in the day. It was just the two of you this evening, and he wasn’t telling you anything as he drove the car a bit farther from the beach area you had hung out in most of the week.

“It’s a surprise, starlight,” he explains, using the words you use so often against him, while grabbing your hand and kissing it. He’s nervous, but he was trying his best to make it up to you.

James knew in his heart of hearts that he had wanted to take you to the Kennedy Space Center. He wanted to show you everything that he had loved so dearly once, however deep down he was still scared -- he didn’t want to look back at his failures, at what could have been -- at least not now. However, you never said anything, just smiled and planned your days at the beach with Rebecca and the rest of the Barnes family. He knew you were too good to him most of the time, and now it was his turn.

“Bucky, is that a lighthouse?” you look up at the tall red building in front of you, as James parks the car. The sunset is splattered in front of the ocean as you look at him with a glow that takes his breath for the moment.  

“It’s the Ponce de Leon Lighthouse,” he explains after getting out of the car, while walking towards the lighthouse with his arm around your shoulders, “One of the best place to sees the skies in all of Florida, if you don’t mind the 2,000 step climb.”

You look at him with an excited glimmer in your eyes, in which he knows he made the right decision in the end, as you tighten your hold on your water bottle, “Then what are we waiting for, starboy!”

It takes you two a good long while to reach the top and while there are moments when you complain and murmur that you regret the decision in your fatigue -for Bucky to laugh- are thrown into the window when you see the view of the Atlantic Ocean from the lighthouse, as the sun finally gives out its last bits of light to the cloaking darkness that the two of you love so much.

“This is beautiful, Bucky,” you exhale, looking for all the constellations you are familiar with while leaning into his warmth, as it was significant colder than when you had started the your journey up the lighthouse.   

“It sure is,” he breathes out before kissing your temple, though you never see that he is staring at your awestruck expression the whole time.

While, you had been spending your vacation days on the beach, you didn’t really wear a swimsuit or bikini for the occasion. It was usually shorts or a beach dress, even though you had spent an entire weekend searching for one with Pietro. However, it wasn't exactly you, which lead to you and Rebecca looking for a proper swimsuit towards the last two days of your trip. Thus, leading James to play with baby Nina (alongside her father) as he waited for all of you to show up since you had gone shopping earlier.

“They’re planning something,” William declares as he grabs his daughter and bounces her on his knee, “Rebecca had that smile on her face this morning.”

“I think it’s something she is still getting used to,” James laughs because since you had started dating and even more so after Nina’s birth the two of you had gotten closer, you even spoiled his niece with outfits and toys from time to time.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” you state, as James looks up only to have his jaw drop. You’re standing there in a red, polka-dot pinup style swimsuit with a floppy white hat and matching sunglasses. There’s a timid smile on your face, as he knows deep down that he’ll have to thank either Rebecca or Pietro for this later, as much as it kills him.

“Is it okay?” you ask taking his brief silence the wrong way, though before you do anything else, Rebecca speaks up.

“You can’t blame him. He’s been waiting 3 years to see you like that,” Becca teases and while she expects Bucky to say something back, all she is welcomed with is two pairs of widening eyes, as you turn from looking at her to looking at your boyfriend, who seems to be glowing brighter by the minute though not because of the Florida sun.

All thoughts of your swimsuit are gone, as you declare loudly.

“You liked me for 3 years?” you look at James from where he is sitting, as he rubs the back of his neck and lets out a sigh, “I mean...how did you even know me?”

That’s the million dollar question, as Rebecca smiles behind her baby’s hat while William shakes his head. James gets up and slings his arm around your waist (as you give him a curious look), too embarrassed to tell you the story of how he fell in love with you indirectly, but maybe he would one day. For now, all he would say is:

“Your pens, sweetheart.”

And wasn’t that the truth.  

[spookysweet-heart]

Character Reactions

So this was asked by @fox-face2014 how would each character I have on my blog react to her OC Allie! It took me so long to get this out but I finally had some time to do it! If you guys think this is interesting feel free to send in your own OC or even a little something about you and I’ll let you know how these characters would interact with them/you!

Allie Rey

She’s an assassin spy mix who used to like working alone. Her heart had turned to ice due to her past and her ex-fiance. She has PTSD and used to have depression but is she much happier now. One will have to work extremely hard to earn her trust. But if they succeed in doing that, don’t break it and she’s their best Allie. If one is to date her, be careful not to trigger her. She is a lover no doubt and will show it herself and she also has a motherly nature. Has a Wisconsin accent and loves the cold. She’s also a hunter for umbrella targets and likes to collect trophies, along with souvenirs from other countries. Has a sister, Ellis and a son, Ivan.

Battle Egos

Natemare: He’s a bit shocked at first with what she told him she’s done and what she does for a job, but is super interested and loves to hear her stories about the missions she's been on. is very careful when she does open up about the rougher parts and will tell her its fine to not go into detail or not tell him at all. these two will get into some mischief playing pranks on all the other egos. 

Phantom: he's interested right off the bat. He does want to make a contract but something told him otherwise when he saw how strong her will was. He admires her for what she does, not just with Umbrella but as a sister and mother. Will help out any way he can, or if she asks. 

Natpai: He enjoys her stories just like Natemare, but he's the one who is super careful if she visits with any cuts or bruises, he always asks if he could help with anything, and asks if she needs help with bandaging anything up. He’s the one that’s really close to her since she knows he won’t do anything bad to her and she even sees him as another son.

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington: Steve has seen some shit in his short life, demodogs, and  Demogorgons, to a kid who has telepathic powers. You’d think meeting Allie wouldn’t phase him. oh no this kid was struck with awe when he saw her take one of those monsters down with her bare hands and a pipe. He’s a bit awkward but slowly they do get comfortable, share experiences, they help each other out especially if one of them is having a panic/anxiety attack. He admires how protective she is of her sister and her son because he’s the same way with the group of kids he babysits.

Nancy Wheeler: she’s intimidated by her at first because when they met they were fighting monsters. after some time they did get along. Nancy was pretty happy to have another girl in the group. it took a while to warm up to Allie but eventually, they got pretty close to where they have each other’s backs no matter what. Allie even teaches Nancy some moves to help defend herself better against the monsters to better protect the kids.

Jonathan Byers: Jonathan isn’t really the type to talk to someone new at first, he kinda just observes her for a bit till he has the courage to actually talk to her. Allie isn't too sure of him at first but she does think he’s nice enough to talk to, they only really interact if Nancy is also in the room.

Marvel

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes:  They’re very impressed with Allie, they admire how driven she is, tags along if she needs help on a mission when Natasha can't go with her. Steve helps her sister and son with school projects along with Bucky, They both teach them a bit of self-defense.they’re like big brothers to the three of them. Allie was very cautious at first with them but as time went she did eventually trust them to the point she could be alone with either one or both of them.

Natasha Romanoff: These two are best friends. they bond over training, missions, and trauma. always up for helping each other improve on the other skills. Natasha is the one that Allie trust the most out of all the team. Wine nights are must for these two when they have down time to just relax. Allie only shows her very vulnerable side to Natasha. Allie doesn’t know it but Natasha would give up her life is it meant helping Allie. she considers her like a sister and wants to protect her at all costs.

Peter Parker: This kid has so many questions and is just in awe with Allie he thinks she’s so cool and admires her so much. Always asks if he could tag along on a mission. Loves hearing her stories of past missions. get’s along with her sister Ellis, they’re both into science and computers so it’s a no brainer these two would hit it off right away. Always up for new experiments or projects. Allie sees Peter as another son she wants to protect. 

The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina

Sabrina Spellman and Harvey Kinkle: These two are very shocked but not phased, like how could they? Sabrina’s a witch and Harvey’s seen the devil himself. Allie does get along with both of them though. She tells them all about her missions and what she’s encountered. Sabrina is very much interested in Allie, she sometimes gives her some magic healing herbs pr charms for when she's out on missions and needs a quick recovery. Harvey teaches her draw so she can sketch out the monsters she’s seen and also just to draw nonsense for when she's feeling creative.

Resident Evil

Leon S. Kennedy and Claire Redfield: The three met during an international mission, at first they didn’t know if they could trust her but in the end, they took her back to HQ to get to know her and the kids more. Claire, Leon, and Allie became super close in time. they help each other in any mission they can. chris made her and the kids honorary Redfields with how close she and Claire had gotten over the years. Leon is super protective of the two. He knows Allie can take care of herself but he doesn't care when they’re lives are in danger. Both Claire and Leon love the kids, it's like being with Sherry again.

[ramajmedia]

Avengers: Endgame Writer Explains Why Steve Didn't Change History

The final scene of Avengers: Endgame may intend to be a happy ending, but it's proven a major source of confusion for fans (and the filmmakers). The movie shows Captain America traveling back in time to live the 20th century over again at Peggy Carter's side. But whether he's living through the MCU movie fans know, or an alternate version, neither addresses the biggest problem: how could Steve Rogers let the same horrifying history play out without trying to prevent the biggest disasters from repeating themselves?

As fans already know, Avengers: Endgame's directors and writers disagree on the question of which timeline Steve Rogers gets to live through the second time around. On the one hand, if the Russos believe Captain America traveled back to a similar but branched reality, they could someday claim he lived an alternate, superheroic history as Peggy's husband. But if fans prefer the writers' version of the story--in which Steve Rogers was always Peggy's husband in a predestined time loop--then he definitely didn't make the 20th century any less horrific.

RELATED: Avengers: Endgame Writer Supports 'Old Steve' Cameo Theory

Thankfully, one of the writers of Endgame has addressed the question directly... even if some fans may not find his explanation for Steve leaving history 'as is' particularly satisfying. Especially not from a logical point of view, as opposed to a storytelling one. We'll try to keep this simple.

No matter what explanations will eventually be offered, there's no denying the corner Marvel backed Captain America into. Once the shock of seeing Old Steve Rogers wears off, the real reveal is impossible to ignore: Steve lived through the MCU a second time over as an observer. And if the simplest explanation is the one most audiences will take away, then that means he traveled back to the 1940s or 1950s... and subsequently let his best friend Bucky Barnes be tortured, and turned into the Winter Soldier. He then let Bucky murder countless Hydra opponents, including Howard and Maria Stark. He also let every war, tragedy, disaster, assassination, and injustice unfold a second time without trying to change it. Not to mention all the mistakes that the Avengers made once the MCU movies began.

For some fans the idea that Steve chose not to interfere--or was even able to resist helping--will be impossible to reckon with his character. Unless his 'happy ending' turned out to be a waking nightmare, watching the worst parts of history play out knowing exactly when, where, and how they would arrive. So how can Marvel expect fans of Steve Rogers to swallow the idea that he retired, and managed to give up any responsibility to do... something? It truly is a question that can't be answered... until now.

At least part of the answer to this dilemma may be offered in Endgame itself, but it was nevertheless an obvious point in need of addressing when co-writer Christopher Markus discussed the movie during SDCC 2019. Speaking during a panel on the science behind Endgame's fiction, Markus spelled out their rules of time travel as simply as he could. But after confirming his own belief that Old Steve was always watching from the corners of the MCU, the question of Captain America's 'retirement' had to be answered. To put it simply, that just isn't what the writers wanted for their war hero:

Stephen [McFeely] and I are just so taken with the idea that Steve went back and somehow, therefore, has always been back. And he got to live his life. Because you get Captain America loyalists who say that if Cap goes back in time, he is honor-bound to fix everything he knows is going to happen. So he has to go save Bucky, he has to prevent the Kennedy assassination... he's a very busy man. But that's not why we sent him back. We sent him back so that he could become a whole person, and finally come home from the war. We didn't want him to go back and just keep adventuring, we wanted him to rest. And the only way we could come to that solution is if there are two Caps. Which I'm okay with.

As we alluded to above, part of the explanation for Steve NOT using his knowledge of the future to change it is offered in Endgame itself. As the co-writers Markus and McFeely have both explained, writing a time travel story like Endgame required strict rules to prevent endless problems and contradictions. The first and most important rule? You can't change the past just by traveling to it. It may go against Back to the Future (and fans know how Endgame feels about that film's logic), but that rule from the writers ended up coming from Bruce Banner's mouth in the movie. As Smart Hulk explained to Ant-Man and War Machine, the idea that you can change the past or future is inherently flawed, since one relies on the other when traveling through time.

It was a blow to sci-fi nostalgia, but when applying that logic to the question of Old Steve Rogers on his second pass through Marvel history, the problem may be solved for some. Captain America might be let off the hook for not changing history, because... he couldn't have, even if he wanted to. Rhodey or Scott Lang might scoff at the scientific brilliance of Bruce Banner in favor of The Terminator, but Steve Rogers never would. Throughout his MCU appearances Steve has shown nothing but respect and deference to Bruce and Tony in matters of science, knowing it's one skill his supersoldier serum couldn't improve. In fact, that may be the exact reason why Steve decided to return to the past in the first place.

The actual Endgame mission proves Banner's conclusion right, but Steve would have been able to grasp the rule regardless. If nothing from the future could cause history to change, then Steve returning to spend a life with Peggy would pose no risk at all. By the same token, he would know he could live his life without the burden of changing history... because he's already been told that he can't. That understanding makes his action or inaction a matter of logic, and not one heroism, ethics, or morality. Add in the fact that everything eventually did work out in the end, and it's not hard to see all those tragedies as necessary evils or sacrifices. After all, Captain America would understand better than anyone that happiness comes at a price.

--

It's always going to be a difficult debate for fans to even engage with, since the writers (and Banner) can defer to the one rule which makes Endgame possible, saying that "Steve can not change the past." While audience members can point to all other science fiction storytelling to counter that "yes he absolutely could." But based on the rules as presented in Avengers: Endgame, the unchangeable nature of history is a perfect explanation for why, in the words of Markus, Steve finally let himself "come home from the war." More importantly, rest knowing he'd never have to fight another ever again.

MORE: Everything Marvel Cut From Avengers: Endgame's Final Battle

source https://screenrant.com/avengers-endgame-steve-change-mcu-past/

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

My Works In Progress

For anyone who is interested in what’s up and coming! (It’s kind of a repost but it keeps me motivated)

Avengers Fanfiction

Soft Names, Soft Touches- Canon divergent after CW. The team rescues a new player in the war against Hydra. Francessca, a weapon born of Hydra manipulation and inhuman abilities becomes the newest member of the team. Unique in that she is physically unable to feel pain, this woman, taken as a child from the Red Rooms of Russia, subject to experimentation an manipulation at the hands of Hydra, refuses to be a pawn in anyone’s game. Bucky, knowing all too well the horrors Hydra can inflict on a person, wants nothing more than to show this incredible woman that soft touches are not something to be feared. Can he help fix what’s been broken? Or is there more at play then they yet now? What was Franki’s true purpose for Hydra and can they figure it out before it’s too late.

Canadian Girl - Canon divergent after CW. The Doc spent the majority of her time with her head down, eyes on the pages of her note book, or behind the microscope in her lab. Charged with discovering the secrets of the super soldier serum, she never notices the eyes of one man that follow her until one, fateful day when Steve Rogers takes the opportunity presented him to talk to the Doctor with the strawberry blonde hair. Imagine his surprise when Kennedy, a Canadian girl, doesn’t recognize him. Can he get to know this slightly strange woman with all her intriguing quirks before the truth comes out? And when it does, will it change everything, breaking them apart? Or will it be the secrets Kennedy’s been keeping all her life that spell the end for the Captain and the Canadian?

Ouran High School Host Club

To Weather Any Storm (name WIP) - Canon divergent end of anime. Haruhi has successfully completed her three years at Ouran Academy and has been offered a prestigious scholarship to Ouran University, one so lucrative she can’t possibly turn it down. With her heart in turmoil over one tall senpai, can she use the time away with Hikaru and Karou before the start of the next semester to figure out just who she is now outside the Host Club? Are the feelings she’s been hiding for three long years returned or is she doomed to disappointment? Will the trip to Milan help her figure out just who she is? Will her relationship with Mori come to pass? Or will a disastrous meeting with an unsavory character spell trouble for the entire Host Club?

InuYasha

The Accession - part two after The Return. (WIP)

The Birth -  The time of the pups arrival is fast approaching. Just what challenges will arrive for our favorite pair as they finally welcome their bundles of joy to the world. (short one shot - at least I hope so)

A few more one shots or short stories to jump us through time (good lord I am not writing every aspect of their lives for thirty years! Do you know how long that would take?)

Of White and Black Dragons - Takeshi and Chiyoko’s story

Sesshomaru’s Mate - For four years she’s been asking to return to his side, travel with him like she used to, and for the last three he’s had understandable but aggravating reasons to say no. Now, all her tasks are complete, her trials are over, every one has been passed to the satisfaction of those who have trained her. She knows she is his. He knows he would not survive losing her for good. A clash of wills, a final refusal, and fate takes a hand. What will Sesshomaru do when the ward he’s watched grow into a woman he should not have such desires for… disappears with the help of his brother? His stubborn pride and refusal to see what is right in front of him leads him on a merry chase.

Time Ticks Down - The Shi no Keshin have returned to the land and the time for our favorite pair to pull their pack together has come. Light and dark collide in this final battle that holds the fate of youkai kind in the balance.

Original Fiction

Instant Connection - the short story I’ve submitted to be part of an up coming anthology Summer Heat (that’s right lovelies! I’m getting it published!)

The Witch and the Druid - my submission piece for the Halloween anthology.

The Guardians - original series. Gods and Goddesses, mythical creatures tied to warriors of old. Battles rage beneath the nose of modern day mankind as the Guardians fight to save Lunaria's children from the demons unleashed by the God of the under realm, all while racing to find the ones promised to them by the Goddess of the Moon. Their bond mate, their chosen one, she who holds the missing piece of their soul. (Five books in the works for this one so far…)

[marvel-infinity-rp]

JAMES “BUCKY” BARNES/THE WINTER SOLDIER

Birthday: 10th March 1917. Species: Human/Super Soldier. Heritage: Brooklyn, New York.

Faceclaim:

Elias Harger.

Nick Robinson.

Colton Haynes.

Sebastian Stan.

Family/Relationships:

Mother: Winifred Barnes.

Father: George Barnes.

Brother: Jackson Barnes.

Sister: Rebecca Barnes

Best Friend: Steven Rogers.

Ships: Bucky/Chem, Bucky/Steve. Anti-ships: Bucky/Forced. Sexuality: Bisexual.

Bio: His early life was spent in the heart of 1920’s Brooklyn. Raised in a religious family with his parents and younger sister he always believed in the good morals his mother had drilled into him. That was where he met Steve Rogers by dragging the small blonde from the fists of bullies. Since then the two were as thick as thieves. 

Bucky left home at 18 and moved in with best friend Rogers. Taking up any job to keep the roof over their head and food on the table. It was while living with Steve that he realised the extent of the young man’s sickness. Vowing that he’d stick by his side no matter how tough things got and ensured medicine was always available. 

War quickly descending on America in 1941 and it wasn’t until ‘43 that Bucky signed up to his inner protests at leaving Steve alone. Pride of fighting wasn’t something Bucky was chasing like most men, it was to avoid the look of disappointment from his friend as to why an able bodied man like himself hadn’t joined. 

Barnes excelled through the training process at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin and was soon made Sergeant of the 107th Infantry Regiment. During his time as a soldier he and his unit were taken prisoners of war into the Austrian Alps by HYDRA. Forced to work in the weapons factory until he became too weak to work and was taken for experimentation instead. 

In November of ‘43 he was reunited with Steve Rogers and discovered his friend’s new transformation after he was rescued along with the rest of the P.O.W’s by Captain America. Shortly after this he was grouped onto the Howling Commando’s team lead by best friend and Captain, Steven Rogers. Over the following months they successfully destroyed most of HYDRA’s major operations which would lead to the downfall of HYDRA and Germany’s defeat in the war.

On his final mission in ‘45 Barnes and Rogers had infiltrated a HYDRA train carrying Arnim Zola. During the mission they were attacked and the train carriage damaged. Being hit with a blast from a HYDRA assault rifle he was knocked out of the train. Despite the efforts of both Steve and himself the rail Barnes was holding onto broke and he plummeted to his supposed death in the icy river below. 

Once the broken soldier was recovered from the bottom of the ravine he was handed over to HYDRA. Due to his advanced physiology Barnes had survived the fall, though his left arm had been ripped off upon impact. He was kept prisoner for many years until Zola was released from the SSR’s custody. He then became the first subject of the Winter Soldier Program. With the remains of his arm removed and replaced with a prosthetic, Barnes underwent mind control methods to keep him under their command. Over time he lost all memory of his former self turning him into a mindless weapon.  

With advanced training he became a skilled fighter and ruthless killer. HYDRA had him wiped and frozen in suspended animation between missions to ensure he didn’t age and remained memory-less. During his time Barnes was sent on various assassination missions with targets ranging from political figures and scientists. Anyone who could pose a threat to HYDRA. Some of his targets being President John  F. Kennedy and Howard and Maria Stark.

Headcanon:

During his rehabilitation process, Barnes cut his long hair to mirror how he looked in a photo from the Smithsonian. Seeing a familiar face in the mirror was as step in his recovery. 

He moved in with Steve at 18. He worked as a newspaper and errands boy on the streets of New York. Often taking in small jobs wherever he could to pay for rent, food and Steve’s medicine. 

Barnes was reluctant to sign up for war at first. He knew Steve wouldn’t get in therefore he put it off as long as he could. Only when the guilt of disappointing his friend set in did he then enlist.

Job/Other Work: U.S. Army, Howling Commandos, HYDRA, SHIELD.

Alliance: Avengers.

Additional Information: 

It took HYDRA twenty years to break him before they introduced the memory wipe machine. Up until then he’d managed to resist. 

[let-it-go-and-let-it-live]

SEDATEPHOBIA

THE FEAR OF SILENCE

PREVIOUSLY

METATHESIOPHOBIA: THE FEAR OF CHANGE

NEXT

NYCTOPHOBIA: THE FEAR OF DARKNESS

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: ~1500

Summary: Bucky’s POV; It’s been nearly thirty years since you were separated from the man you called Зима, Zima, Winter. He was made to forget you, and he never knew why. What had the two of you done wrong? Now that he’s found you again… well…

Warnings: Still riding that Angst-train, bros.

Steve’s on the couch, remote in hand as he flips through the channels on the television. He sets the remote down and watches me in silence as I walk further into the room. I sit to his right. My eyes find the television screen but never really focus.

“How did it go?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

“She’s not afraid of me. She’s not afraid of Winter. She is, however, afraid of the Soldier, and apparently, she’s afraid that I could potentially turn back into him. She can’t look me in the eye because she’s waiting for me to kill her.”

“That can’t be right.”

I look down at my hands where they rest over one another in my lap. “Those were her words.”

He sighs, “Buck, you can’t_”

“Can’t what? Can’t be upset because my girlfriend, the love of my life who I thought was dead, looks at me in fear? Do you realize that, Steve? It’s not Winter or the Soldier that she’s looking at. It’s me!”

“Maybe she didn’t explain things right. At least talk to her before you start assuming the worst.”

I know he’s right. I do, but how can I face her knowing what could be going through her head when she looks at me? I don’t want to risk scaring her. I don’t want to risk her hating me. that is the one thing in this world I could never live with.

“I just wanted to protect her.”

“You can’t protect her from her own mind. You have to let her figure it out, but you also have to be there when she needs you.”

“I wish I knew where to start.”

“Start by getting your ass off this couch.”

I smile, nodding before pushing myself up to my feet. His voice stops me at the end of the hall.

“She’s not in your room.”

I turn back to him, “Roof?”

“Yep.”

“How long has she been up there?”

“Since about a half hour after you left.”

I have nothing to say to that. Instead, I go to the elevator in silence. I wait for it to open in silence. The only sound in the small space with me is the beeping as I pass each floor. The doors open on the top floor and I take the stairs up to the roof. I push the door open slowly. A gentle breeze lifts my hair, causing it to brush against my cheeks.

(Y/N)’s head rests in Natasha’s lap as the redhead sings, softly, a Russian lullaby. I try my best to shut the door without making a sound, but despite my efforts, her singing ceases and she calls me out.

“You just gonna stand there?”

(Y/N) shifts, sitting up and looking back at me. She rubs her eyes and smiles.

Her voice is rough when she says, “Hey. Come here.”

Once I’m seated at her side, she wraps her around my waist and kisses my cheek.

“You okay?” I ask, kissing the top of her head as she rests against my shoulder.

“I tried to take a nap after you left, but it was too quiet.” She shifts a little at my side, “Where did you go?”

Should I tell her? How can I help her if I don’t tell her, if I don’t ask her about the nightmare?

“Buck?”

“Sorry.” I try my best to shake off my nerves, “Dr. Kennedy called.”

She tenses a bit and pulls away.

“What did he want?”

“He asked me if I knew anything about your nightmares.”

“Did he tell you?”

“Technically, you did.”

She sighs, “He played you the tape.”

“Yeah.” I nod, “He did.”

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

We both look over at Natasha as she moves to stand, and (Y/N) reaches out to catch her wrist.

“Stay.” She pleads, “Please.”

Natasha glances at me, silently asking if it’s okay that she does. I nod, knowing how much (Y/N) needs that other person at her side. Natasha was the first person (Y/N) trusted after she woke up. She didn’t even speak to her doctors at first, aside from answering the basic questions pertaining to her pain levels or how she was feeling.

(Y/N) takes Natasha’s hand, their fingers threading together in her lap.

“There was more.” She says, staring out at the city skyline, “I said more than what was on that tape.” I could speak, but I’ll let her talk, “He helped me to understand what I was really afraid of, and it’s not you. It’s not Winter. It’s not even the Soldier. I’ve always known what you’re capable of, but you’ve never threatened me. I’ve never felt threatened by you. For the last six months, I’ve been learning you all over again. I’ve been learning the world, and unfortunately the only thing left for me to understand completely is the darkness of a past I hardly remember. So my mind turned you into something evil.” She looks up at me, tears glistening in her eyes, “I don’t want you to think I’m afraid of you, but I’m trained on fear. Fear made me trust in people that I should not have.”

“When we first met, I saw fear in your eyes.”

“I didn’t know you then.”

“And you don’t know me now.”

“I hardly know myself.”

Once again, things fall silent between us. What else is there to say?

She holds tight to us, to me and Natasha, the two people who have been there since the beginning. For whatever reason, she’s chosen to trust us above everyone else. She keeps us the closest.

The sounds of the city, alive and moving over the ground below us. The sight of the sunset turning the sky into a bright, raging swirl of reds, yellows, and oranges. The world is so loud around us, yet here we sit in silence.

Silence…

Darkness…

Maybe I understand now. (Y/N) keeps us closest because we’re the only two people that understand what it is to have a past better left forgotten.

“Natasha.” (Y/N) voice is so loud in the silence. “Can you sing? Please?”

I look over (Y/N)’s head to Natasha, who nods and begins her song again. (Y/N) sighs, closing her eyes and resting her head against my shoulder once again.

Even when she begins to cry, it’s in silence.

Natasha helps me tuck (Y/N) into bed.

As I shut the bedroom door behind us, I lean back against the wall.

“Thank you, Natasha.”

“For what?”

“For giving her someone else to trust. I don’t know that she’d be doing so well if she only had me to lean on.”

She smirks and looks up at me with her hands on her hips, “Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong.”

“What am I thinking?”

“Do you think she trusts me more than she trusts you?”

Her questions actually catches me off guard, mostly because that’s what had crossed my mind.

“Like I said, you’re wrong. She doesn’t need me the way she needs you.” she puts a hand on my shoulder, “She doesn’t need anyone the way she needs you.”

“I’m a dark spot on her memory.”

“If you really think that, then you and I heard very different things up there on the roof.”

“For argument’s sake, what did you hear?”

“Thirty years ago, she knew you to be the Winter Soldier. She knew you to be someone dangerous yet she never felt threatened by you. She only feared you because she didn’t know you, but then she found herself safe by your side. You protected her then like you protect her now. She’s got a lot to figure out, and her nightmares are her mind’s way of doing that. I know it scares her. I know it scares you because you feel like you don’t know how to help her. She’s pushing you away because she’s trying to figure out how to keep you as close as possible.”

“So what do I do?”

She shrugs and drops her hand back to her side, “Just keep her close and let her figure it out.”

“The therapist thinks I need to help her past her fear. Steve says I need to let her figure it out as I long as I’m there when she needs me, and you say I need to just let her figure it out on her own. So what do I do?”

She sighs, glancing off for a moment before looking me dead in the eye, “All of the above.”

She shrugs again, gives a sympathetic and then walks away.

All of the above…

Keep her close. Give her space. Help her figure it out. Let her figure out on her own. Be there for her.

That’s the answer, isn’t it?

I just have to be there.

A voice in the silence. A light in the darkness.

TAGS:  @melconnor2007 @curlyxtomato @skeletonwoman @chipilerendi @allyp1023 @snuggleducky @shakircreations

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Steve Rogers: Master List

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Series:

Canadian Girl - (Steve Rogers x OFC)  Canon divergent after CW.

The Doc spent the majority of her time with her head down, eyes on the pages of her notebook, or behind the microscope in her lab. Charged with discovering the secrets of the super soldier serum, she never noticed the eyes of the man which followed her until one fateful day when Steve Rogers took the opportunity presented him to speak to the Doctor with the strawberry blonde hair.

Imagine his surprise when Kennedy, a Canadian girl, doesn’t recognize him. Can he get to know this slightly strange woman with all her intriguing quirks before the truth comes out? And when it does, will it change everything, breaking them apart? Or will it be the secrets Kennedy’s been keeping all her life which spell the end for the Captain and the Canadian? - complete

(Canadian Girl Master List)   

Attention - (Steve Rogers x Inhuman!Reader)

When Steve has his heart broken by a harpy of a woman, you do everything you can to help the super-soldier feel better while doing your best to contain your own feelings. It’s all shot to hell when the evening of fun you planned goes right out the window when she shows up at Steve’s invitation! Will they be getting back together? Could he possibly take her back after what she’s done? When the God of Mischief decides to offer his services to help you attract the attention of Captain America himself, do you dare accept?

(Attention Master List)

Sledgehammer (Part One)

A dance party of Tony’s takes a turn when a joke is played which you don’t find funny, causing you to reveal a long kept secret.

After kicking the crap out of Garry, the one who played the prank, will the man let it go? Or will he go to even greater heights to hurt and destroy what you’re finally building?

Rise Up (Part Two)

Part two after Sledgehammer. Stuck in a world of darkness where your only solid ground is Steve, can you overcome the disabling effects of what the Hounds of HYDRA have done to learn to control your returned Valkyrie nature, the memories of your past lives filling you with a glorious but nearly impossible destiny, or will what has been taken, the loss of your sight, in turn, have farther reaching consequences then you could have ever guessed?

Warrior Daughter (Part Three)

The conclusion of the Captain and the Valkyrie Queen trilogy. Called back to Asgard to resume your throne, no longer can you ignore the darkness festering in the heart of the Valkryjur. Discontent reigns, a faction of warriors with a vendetta rises, secrets abound. What was the real reason your soul was banned from Asgard? Who covets your throne? And just how far are they willing to go to take it?

With Steve and Bucky at your side, and Thor and Loki waiting to assist, can you find the culprits responsible for interrupting your sjelevenn bond and sear the darkness from the heart of your people? Or will Odin follow through on his threat? - series complete

(The Captain and The Valkyrie Queen Master List)

Once a Witch - (Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader) Avengers AU

What if Steve Rogers wasn’t exactly what he showed to the world? What if there was more to him than meets the eye?

Steve Rogers has a secret. Just why does his shield seem to defy the laws of physics? And why is he dreaming about a woman he’s never met? - complete

(Once a Witch Master List)

A Painter’s Embrace - (Alpha!Steve Rogers x OFC) Wings!Fic

ABO Wings!Fic set in the Regency Period. For @yourtropegirl‘s Historical AU challenge.

Colonel Rogers, the Earl of Denton, finally finds his omega, but how long will Elizabeth Heartright make him chase her before she gives in to the desire raging in her heart? - complete

(A Painter’s Embrace Master List)

Qi FLows For Her -  (Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes - X-men Crossover)

Celine Ena does not play well with others, so when the Professor decides X-Men and Avengers should work together, she doesn’t understand why Charles sends her to be the first of what he hopes will be a long line of mutants turned Avenger. 

Coming from a troubled past and a lonely life, she’s disconcerted by the easy acceptance Steve and Bucky, along with a young Peter, show her. Why? She’s a different kind of mutant, unique, what they’ve termed a Qi Manipulator. An empath, and an aura reader, she was dubbed with the unfortunate moniker of Energy Vampire by the kids at the school when she was still a teen.

Sustaining her life off the emotions of others isn’t easy, especially when she hasn't been completely truthful. The ethereal beauty is more than she seems, more than she’s willing to tell. Celine is the closest thing to a succubus Charles has ever encountered.

Her past comes back to haunt her when both Steve and Bucky take an interest in the broken beauty. Can the love of two super soldiers heal a heart so torn, or will what Celine is tear two best friends apart? - ongoing (slow to update)

(Qi Flows For Her Master List)

Seraphim - (Steve Rogers x OFC)

Lily Tangela’s life has never been easy. As the only child of a single mother, she spent her life moving from town to town, never spending more than a few years in any one place before they were up and gone again. 

Finally settled in New York as a newly minted officer of the NYPD, tragedy strikes when her mother loses the battle with cancer she’s been fighting for five long years, but more anguish is waiting for her at home when Lily returns to seek solace in the arms of the man who’s supposed to love her. 

Unable to handle the betrayal on top of her already insurmountable pain, Lily runs and breaks the one promise her mother had drilled into her since the moment her father left when Lily was three years old. 

Never, ever let anyone see her wings. 

But when Steve Grant Rogers, Captain America himself, finds a fallen angel in the middle of the night in Central Park, he isn’t about to let her fly away from him any time soon. (ongoing - slow to update)

(Seraphim Master List)

Summary: Avengers AU - Steve Rogers is an overworked, but well paid, top attorney for the law firm Stark, Potts, and Rhodes. The youngest to ever make partner, he spends his days in the office or the courtroom, and his nights alone. 

When he meets Rowan Maddox - a paralegal working hard to finish her law degree - it’s an instant attraction, but she doesn’t date, and he has no time for relationships. When Steve offers up an idea that can solve both their troubles, can they keep it professional? Or will pesky things like feelings get in the way?

Sugar and Spice Master List

Summary: (Steve Rogers x OFC Syn Lee)

Steve Rogers is tired. Tired of fighting, tired of fame, tired of being Captain America and all the stress that came along with the title. He was burnt out and running from his problems, riding cross country on his motorcycle, looking for... something.

Himself. A life. A purpose. Something to put a spark back into his life.

As a single mom, Syn knows all about struggling through life. As a mom to a special needs child, she knows sacrifice and heartbreak. As the sister to a soldier who took his own life, she knows pain and can recognize the haunted emptiness of a broken soul when she sees it.

She doesn't know what deity or universal force brought the soldier to her door, but she's not letting another hurting soul walk out of her life without doing all in her minimal power to help him.

The Grace in Syn Master List

Summary: (Steve Rogers x OFC Emery Williams)

When a question is put before Thor regarding who the Heart of the Avengers is, he’s puzzled. Could it be the Captain? Stark? A bored Loki, an idea, and a challenge later, the two are on their way to Midgard with a new “game” for the Avengers to play and a bet between them. 

 All has been quiet on the hero front, leaving Sam, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Tony, Bruce, and Steve sitting on their thumbs. When the two Asgardians arrive with their challenge and this new game, Steve is leery. This is Loki, after all. Brainwashed by the Chitauri or not, he’s still the Trickster God for a reason. When the others give in and agree to play, he hesitates until finally being prodded into the game. 

 Big mistake. Why didn’t he listen to his instincts? Emery Dawn Williams, tech and intelligence genius, never expected to return to the tower from an afternoon of shopping to find the seven Avengers devolved into extremely odd versions of themselves. 

Clint, who ate everything in sight. Bruce stretched out asleep on the sofa with Netflix running in the background. Sam, crowing about his achievements, and Bucky griping over everything. Tony, who screamed to get out of his workshop and Natasha, who claimed anything and everything was hers. 

But worst of all was Steve. Sweet, hot, panty-melting Steve who had never, ever looked at her with eyes like the devil and a smirk that made her core clench. His face said he wanted to eat her alive. If Emery wasn’t so freaked out, if his feelings were at all real, she might let him. 

But this was a game. A wicked game. Because when you play a game with Seven Deadly Sins it was win or lose your soul.

The Seven Deadly Sins Master List

One-Shots:

The Ballerina*

Shoes

A Very Kinky Christmas* 

The One

Frozen*

Reader Fics:

Both of You, Forever* (Steve Rogers x Reader X Bucky Barnes)

Naughty Boy*  

The Stealth Suit* 

Obedient*

Winder Wonderland

A Tangle Of Tinsel

It's Midnight Somewhere

Silent Nights* (Steve Rogers x Reader X Bucky Barnes)

Evasive Maneuver

Drabbles:

Just a Piece of Ribbon 

Our Suits 

Munchies

Choose  (Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes)

Puppy Love  (Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes)

Driving Lesson

Singed Cinnamon (ABO Dynamics)

Movie Magic      

Christmas Cookies

New Beginnings (Steve Rogers x Reader x Tony Stark)

Kiss Me At Midnight

A Fae-ted Meeting

Haunted House