#BRO IS A SPACE NERD. PROVE ME WRONG!

[crayonnthief]

Lmao idk man :]

I will always love space nerd Leo <3

(Think I did bad with the prospective but! I just want to be done with this drawing. It’s driving me mad.)

[electricsynthesis]

2 people validated me so. gender post. this is just whats currently canon to my canonverse au, i accept and & all transgenderism headcanons by the community because i love transgenders. In fact i hope everyone shares their transgenderism thoughts

pidge: trans girl, realized it at age baby and ended up with puberty blockers and HRT as a teenager. shes winning the gender game right up until she has to briefly detransition to sneak back into the garrison. she never does end up going back on estrogen because she ends up kidnapped in a space lion fighting fascists which is sad. she has an awkward relationship to femininity because shes expected to perform it somewhat despite the fact that shes kind of just an awkward nerd girl and it shows in her gender expression. her parents made a big deal of it (in a supportive way, happy and excited, but that veered a bit into "too much" territory regardless) but matt was just like oh little sister? sick. pidge doesnt actually remember her life pre-transition all that much. she was one of those trans toddlers who socially transitioned as soon as she could speak. her brief boymoding-at-the-garrison era was extremely eye-opening to her regarding social dynamics and not in a good way

hunk: trans guy. did the classic "didnt think much about it until puberty" in which he was suddenly seized with that dysphoric malaise. was very businesslike about the whole thing. came out to everyone in rapid succession in very anxious but short conversations. his parents were extremely awkward about it but ultimately supportive. didnt know how to explain it to their extended family. kind of let hunk figure it all out on his own. did pay for hrt and shit though so, trans win? lance was actually one of the last people he told and thats because he was worried about that interaction the least. lance was also extremely awkward about it at first (in that "oh god im sos sorrryyy i didnt mean to slip waaah!!!" kind of way) but pivoted hard into being all like Hunk my Bro my Guy my Buddy and it was really unsubtle but hunk appreciated the sentiment regardless lmao

lance: hes cis sorry. very much the youngest cisgender brother of a bunch of mean (cis) sisters. he was dragged into traditionally "feminine" things as a bonding ritual pretty young, and when he complained of emasculation he was swiftly mocked for being emasculated at all, because "whats so wrong with being like a girl?" which didnt actually help & actually made him really defensive of his more "feminine" habits (because he really does enjoy skincare & taking care of his hair & painting his nails and shit), which only fed into his wider cycle of insecure-and-peacocking-about-it.

keith: i think keiths relationship to gender is somewhat complex because keith is a queer autistic alien boy who literally didn't speak to anyone of the female sex until he was at least nine (when his dad died & his desert isolation childhood era ended). i dont think hes repulsed or confused by women necessarily so much as hes just confused by everyone all the time. i think if he cried too long as a kid his dad would ask him if he was a fuckin queer or if he was gonna man the hell up which certainly did something to his perception of gender but i dont think even he knows what hes supposed to get out of gender. i dont think he cares much about & or thinks about gender very much. i think he finds the general social dynamics of the subject to be vexing in an irritating way and tries not to think about it because it gives him a headache. He’s probably some flavor of nonbinary but he will never unpack that

shiro: hes a cisgender buff gay japanese man which is a whole conversation in and of itself but hes ALSO a soldier who works at a military academy (yknow prior to the alien abduction). i think shiro is very secure in his masculinity but he is also, as many cisgender men are, somewhat infected by the Weird Distance In Intimate Relationships thing. hes private and doesnt feel a need to prove himself but is burdened by how lonely it is trying to connect with other men. shiro shoulder touches keith for the first time and both of them feel a weird jolt. shiro can dedicate 3/4s of his life into bringing keith into the world and mentoring him but he cant say that or acknowledge it or he will die . a fascinating affliction. this is both eased and made tenfold worse after his time as the champion

allura: altean gender essentialism

coran: altean gender essentialism

[quasitsqueeries]

Space Marines are not your friend Part II

I keep thinking about this, and apparently a lot of other people keep thinking about this, because the conversation keeps happening. I think I didn't get it quite right the first time round, which is normal and we should embrace being wrong and changing our minds with new information.

So, sometimes you say the Imperium is Fascist and you learn form some dude online that actually they're a dictatorial theocracy or something. This is called splitting hairs but I think there's potential here for a more interesting conversation. It may come as a surprise but Warhammer 40,000, a game about spending whole Sunday afternoons moving little toy soldiers and tanks around on your dining room table with lore written by a whole bunch of different nerds over the last 35 years doesn't have a coherent political narrative.

We're not going to get the answers we're looking for by going over every bit of lore with a fine-toothed comb. Also please don't ask me to do that, some of the writing is really terrible. I've talked before in, I guess, Part I about how Warhammer 40,000 draws on the aesthetics of Fascism and I think this is what's really important. It really doesn't matter if the Imperium fulfils all of Umberto Eco's characteristics of Fascism or if you can find some other political ideology that you think fits better. The fact is that Warhammer 40,000 is a piece of largely visual media that draws on the imagery of Fascism, the same way it draws on the imagery of Feudalism and the Catholic and Orthodox churches.

There's a lot of talk lately about how people like Rick Priestly and Brian Ansell (may he rest in peace) and Richard Haliwell weren't really trying to make statements with their games but just wanted to sell miniatures, and they borrowed liberally from things like 2000AD because it was cool. I think that in itself says something about the game's ideology. It was developed and written in the context of Thatcherite Britain and I wonder if in that context there was an idea that it wasn't necessary to have the thing make political sense (and maybe that's naïve in hindsight, idk?). I don't know for sure but I wonder if 40K comes out of a time when you could be like "hey these cops are Fascists" and wouldn't need to expand on that. People would just get that you were painting in braod strokes and wouldn't demand that you prove that their brutality wasn't justified. I think it's fair to say the writers didn't foresee how big their game would get, or its popularity among military bros, or the rise of Fascism in the Anglosphere in the 2010s.

So, what do we do with this? I think it's important to recognise two things. Firstly, the Imperium isn't just a Fascist state. It's also a Theocracy, and Feudal. More than one of these things can be true. But secondly, we tend to assume our political concepts are universal and timeless. They're not. Here's an interview where Corey Robin situates the Left and Right historically for Adam Conover:

The point being that the Right isn't just authoritarian, it's a movement to reestablish the power of ruling classes in response to modern Democratic movements. Similarly, Fascism is a distinctly modern concept. It's an attempt to return to the idea, as identified by Robin above, that certain people should rule over everyone else, and it's a reaction against a move towards Democracy and people having freedom from authority.

So, political systems are historically constituted, I think it's fair to say that 38,000 years in the future our politics will be unrecognisable to us now. So like, does Fascism exist 38,000 years in the future, would it even be possible when you're trying to govern a billion worlds, is it "necessary" when state control of humanity is total, and Democracy, Socialism and Trade Unionism aren't even distant memories? Maybe the answer is it doesn't matter. I don't find that terribly satisfying.

The Imperium's political system isn't not Fascism. Rather, the writers of Warhammer 40,000 depicted a political system that's a sort of aggregate of political systems that are recognisable to a modern audience (and particularly pertinent to an audience living in Thatcherite Britain), and Fascism plays a major role in that aggregate.

So the upshot is, if you want to call it Fascism, you are correct, and if someone calls it Fascism and you want to say actually it's this extremely specific political thing you've just come up with to disprove them, consider shutting up.

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

[shinygoku]

Thunderbirds (2004)

A review by me, CutCat! This is 8-ish pages long!

Spoiler for the end of the film warning: Alan is in International Rescue. What a twist!

Totally Turbulent

Soooo, Tbirds ‘04 is one of those Infamous Adaptations, at least among those who enjoyed Thunderbirds (’65) and of more recent times, Thunderbirds are Go (’15). It’s one of those Bad Live Action Adaptations to a near sacred property, making it dubious contemporaries with Dragon Ball [Evolution], Avatar [The Last Airbender] and suchlike.

But wait, is it really That Bad?? Why is it as divisive as it is? What caused the film to be the way it is, and quite unpopular at that?

First I’m gonna make a long story very short by saying that a Live Action Thunderbirds movie was on and off production for many years, and that the script we ended up with is apparently better than another one that was pitched... but there are reports of cooler scripts further back that never made it, for various reasons. It’s almost a story of it’s own right but I’m only going by 2nd hand information at best, so I’d rather just link them at the end for Additional Reading if y’all felt so inclined.

With that out of the way, we have the Takes from the Andersons to look at. Sylvia had a very favourable reception to it:

"I felt that I'd been on a wonderful Thunderbirds adventure. You, the fans, will I'm sure, appreciate the sensitive adaptation and I'm personally thrilled that the production team have paid us the great compliment of bringing to life our original concept for the big screen. If we had made it ourselves (and we have had over 30 years to do it!) we could not have improved on this new version. It is a great tribute to the original creative team who inspired the movie all those years ago. It was a personal thrill for me to see my characters come to life on the big screen."

Whereas Gerry had a considerably blunter response at the opposite end of the scale:

"the biggest load of crap I have ever seen in my entire life."

As for me, a mere fan of predominantly the TAG series with limited but fond memories of the 90’s TOS reruns, I’d been inclined to ignore it and write it off as a DBE or TLA lost cause. But the combined effect of me deciding to check out unpopular media for myself, namely Dragon Ball GT and the live action Super Mario Bros. movie, and thoroughly enjoying both; and the other effect of TAG finishing but my fixation reawakening with the need to consume More, I dived deeper into the fan base than I had dared to before, in which I found more reasons to watch it and make up my own mind fairly.

Find out what I thought, and a review of the movie itself, below the Cut! ✂

Stormy Story

Ok, enough teasing, I see good things in the movie but not enough for it to be a secret masterpiece, not by a long shot.

1/3 Stars from Me. That’s Poor. (Compare with 2/3 being Good, and 3/3 being Excellent)

My main beef is unfortunately kinda the crux of the whole story, so while there were aspects I really liked, it had permanently set the bar low, and other issues were not helping matters. I’ll go into the problems after I sum up the plot.

[sitcom harp music]

14 Year Old Alan Tracy is stuck in a stuffy school with only his nerd friend to confide in. Something’s eating him up, and it’s jealousy over how his family are International Rescue, the secret rescue workers whole pilot the Thunderbirds, impossibly cool craft with capabilities vastly exceeding standard technology. Even when he’s allowed out of school and back to the Island, his envy and barely repressed resentment over not being a member himself causes him to go off and sulk and to try taking Thunderbird 1, the hypersonic jet plane, for a joyride.

His father and the leader of International Rescue, Jeff Tracy chews Alan out for almost compromising the need for the organisation to remain secret, lest their advanced technology falling into the wrong hands. Alas, said wrong hands are already working against IR: The Hood, a diabolical, cold blooded criminal with psychic powers and a grudge against Jeff. After successfully tracking the location of Tracy Island, he launches a missile towards Thunderbird 5, the Space Station where IR monitor potential disasters to prevent as much damage as possible, manned by John Tracy.

With TB5 crippled and John injured, Jeff and his other three older sons all scramble to the disaster zone via Thunderbird 3, the Rocket Ship. But with Tracy Island largely unmanned, The Hood moves in and aims to use the Thunderbirds to rob bank vaults while simultaneously smearing International Rescue’s good name. As the only Tracy brother left on Earth, it’s up to Alan and his 2 friends, Fermat and Tin-Tin, to foil the Hood and save his family, proving himself worthy in the process. He is also assisted by IR’s London Agent, Lady Penelope, and her driver/butler/lockpicker, Parker.

...

Ok, so that’s a summary you may read on the back of a DVD box, maybe it’s a bit long but whatever. Do you see what’s wrong with the story? The massive rift in the formula that should be within a template set by the hugely popular TV Series?

Critical Crux

For me, the main issue with the movie is that the Tracy family are thrown under a bus, or perhaps it’s more like being locked in a closet, in order for Alan to rise up and be The Hero. A show that was about each of them having different roles and personalities to the others, and the movie sees the best way to adapt the premise is to reduce 3 of them to cardboard cutouts who aren’t allowed to do or say anything meaningful, with the exception to this getting the dubious honour of getting a missile and exploding space station to the face.

I can’t clearly express how much this pisses me off! It’s downright insulting and baffling as well. They had pre established characters right there for the taking but go NO! Let’s make OCs to fill this newly created void instead and make the main Message of the film Friendship Teamwork.

Why does every child-skewed media hafta have the Friendship message? It’s a good one, sure, but nothing said in this film about it was fresh or original. Y’know what I see far, far less? Not just in Kid Flavoured Media, but all sorts? The importance of Brotherly Bonds between actual brothers!! I don’t subscribe to the massively misunderstood message version of ‘Blood is thicker than water’, but a story with the siblings actually pushed and stressed and coming out stronger at the end would have ruled!!

[For what it’s worth, the actual saying is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, i.e. the bonds you choose to forge are more important than happening to be born to certain people. This correct message is still compatible with literal siblings though!]

The other, somewhat lesser Large Issue with the movie is simply that we don’t see much in the way of Rescues with the titular Thunderbirds. We only get the tail end of the Oil Rig in Act 1, and then the ‘Birds are used predominantly to get to London and save 1 Monorail Car with TB4.

Watsonian Woes & Doylist Dilemma

When looking at Media, there’s 2 main angles to consider; Doylist and Watsonian. Doylist is the “real life / meta” angle, the structure of the story or interests of the author being in the plot, that kinda thing. Watsonian is the reason given within the story.

All stories have Watsonian and Doylist reasonings, the trick is to blend them in and not use a weedy Watsonian reason for something stupid happening.

Why bring this up? Because it’s still part of the Huge Problem I have with the film; the Doylist reason for all of IR being incapacitated so easily is so Alan can shine without fighting for focus in a large group. I don’t like it, but let’s go along with it for now.

Believe it or not, but I can accept that a Movie format isn’t going to be the same as an ongoing series. There’s way less time and you gotta hit certain beats. Ideally you also condense the essence of the show into the film while being more than just a long episode. They didn’t hit this note in my opinion...

But other than ‘It has to happen for he story to work’, there’s no damn reason for all the Non-Alan Tracys to be cooped up in the crippled TB5! They put all their eggs into one basket when a considerably more sensible choice woulda been to have a small crew, and the others remain on base. Because even without factoring in a worst case scenario where another missile hits them while in space, killing them all, which totally could have happened for all they know, there’s also the part about them being International Rescue! They gotta be ready to respond to other disasters should those develop. TB1, 2 and 4 were still available for use!

If I was Jeff making the boneheaded decision, I would have taken a second to think about it and have 1 of the Bros come up in 3 with me. Seeing to John shouldn’t be something 4 people are needed for, it would just get more crowded and the oxygen would be used way faster! Considering they all come close to asphyxiating, 2 less people would mean things weren’t so damn close to the wire! (Granted, the movie also has them falling into Earth’s atmosphere and burning up as a hazard, but the whole crew being there doesn’t affect that.)

Jeff! You’re the patriarch and supposedly most experienced dude in the whole movie! Why didja run into that trap with both eyes open? Stressful situation, sure, but in the Rescue Business you need to be able to listen to the cold, clinical angle. You’re risking more of your sons’ lives making such a rash judgement!!

Character Conundrums

This is the part of the review where I begin to really emphasise the differences between TOS and this movie. I’ll hold off TAG for now in the interest of fairness.

The movie is a mixed bag when it comes to the individuals within it. Some have been refreshing updates to stuffy 60′s tropes, but several draw the short straw, feeling even stiffer than their marionette precursors.

Alan - Hoo, boy. The plot follows Alan.... for the third time if you’re factoring in the Supermarionation movies, which was quite the baffling choice as Puppet!Alan is quite the obnoxious jerk. But whatever, new movie, new canon, new Alan. While the Alan of the 60′s was a bizarrely whiny brat of a character considering he was supposed to at least be in his early 20′s this Alan at least makes more sense to be annoying. But yes, he starts off as a sullen jerk with unclearly defined jealousy towards his own brothers and seemingly a lack of grasping the stakes behind International Rescue, viewing being one of the crew as a Cool Job rather than a gruelling, life-risking ordeal. Over the course of the movie (mostly Act 3) he becomes less of a berk and a better team player, even going as far as to save the Hood personally.

Jeff - One of the stronger characters in the movie, even with this poor choice I’ve gone on about already, haha. You get the real impression the job means the world to him, but still secondary to his sons. An update and improvement to the sometimes stodgy and holier-than-thou character from the 60′s, plus his proactive role makes him way less of a backseat driver.

Lady Penelope - Best character and a splendid update to the 60′s Socialite. This Penny is always a delight to see, although her ability to change clothes offscreen sometimes pushes plausibility, haha. She and Jeff also have very natural and endearing chemistry, so for this iteration at least, I’m up for shipping them, something I can’t say for TOS.

Parker - Remarkably true to the beloved puppet version and another highlight. His interplay with Penelope is some of the best dialogue in the whole movie, and was written by Richard Curtis in an uncredited role, or so I’ve read.

The Hood - A shockingly sadistic and cold blooded so-and-so. His Psychic powers have been given a huge boost, and the depths of his spite generates all the tense scenes the movie has to offer. His performance may be the best in the whole film, simultaneously over the top while also completely deadly.

Tin-Tin - Y’know, Tin-Tin is a funny character, in how she’s very different in all versions. I enjoy her in TOS, but her potential as an engineering assistant, mathematician and member of IR are quickly discarded to make her a secretary, which is further demoted to bringing coffee. Ahh, The Sixties! One of her other defining features was the sometimes bickering sexual tension with Alan. Movie!Tin-Tin is still the implied love interest [and the same age] with him, but she’s also an Action Girl extraordinaire, with abilities bordering on metahuman. She can trek through the jungle without slowing down, she can dive underwater for prolonged sequences, and has a variation of her Evil Uncle’s Psychic capabilities, but used for good. Notably, the Kayo of TAG takes significantly more from this Tin-Tin to the original, sadly sans Telekinesis.

Fermat - The only OC I’m gonna dignify with a section here lol. He’s basically mini-Brains, complete with the way he t-ta-tal- -distinctive speech patterns. But yeah, as the hypersmart and nerdy pal, I feel that his role is pretty superfluous, though his performance in the movie got me to soften up, he’s a good kid. Just one who, like, is part of the deal breaking issue I have with the whole film. In a way I think he’d have made a better lead than Alan lmao

Brains - Not much to say here, he’s also a dude in distress for a majority of his screentime. Seems to be older than his TOS self and a bit less subservient to Jeff, but also a father ....or Fermat is his clone. They never make that clear. He’s hit on by the Hood’s Female Scientist and it’s played for comedy, more on that later.

John - In TOS, his role was infamously minimal, as Gerry Anderson took such a strong disliking to the John puppet and the TB5 model that he exiled both into space with a few token shots per episode. So in comparison, this movie is far kinder to John! He has a nice, genuine chat with Jeff, without any mission to initiate said videocall. The movie is also quite mean to John in how he gets bombed by the Hood, his space station in tatters, his arm hurt and then near suffocation with Jeff and most of his brothers. Ahh, the conundrum of being John.

Scott, Virgil and Gordon - No, they don’t even get their own paragraphs in my review. Their lack of presence and importance in the movie is my giant gripe (have you noticed yet?) and it got to the extent that I feel they could have been combined into one character to save casting money. They get maybe 5 lines each, if that. I literally can’t tell Scott and Virgil apart (I know they have name tags on their uniforms, but in most scenes I couldn’t even read that) other than knowing 1 of them is taller. Which that one is, is a mystery.

The only one with a slightly distinctive appearance and air is Gordon, which is another can of worms because he seems to be the designated Doubtful Jerk Brother and that drives me mad!! In TOS he wasn’t as main a character as Scott, Virgil or Alan, but he was still a defined person with his own abilities. And his personality was as a slightly mouthy but the most lighthearted character! Why didn’t they carry that over?!

And yeah, Scott and Virgil are pretty much the Main Two of the brothers in TOS, so their roles being reduced to 1 token act during the oil rig rescue each [Gordon didn’t even get that!] is all the more mind boggling.

Hood’s Minions - Can’t be assed to write their names out, I refer to them as Heavy Dude and Science Woman. Heavy Dude is the Heavy, and his character consists of Dumb and somewhat Sadistic Muscle. Science Woman is first objectified (we see her ass first. Yes, really.) but then it’s ‘revealed’ that as she has Austin Powers level teeth, she’s uuuuuglyyyyy and her otherwise genuine attraction towards Brains is played for laughs with this angle. And that’s still female on male sexual harassment, which doesn’t fly with me. Eeeesh. Bad writing! She does Science Things for Hood.

The Rest - Kyrano and his wife are in this. Wife is Original but basically Grandma’s role, though she doesn’t even get a single word to say. Rip. Also the Hood has a few more generic mooks from somewhere, but seemingly only for part of the movie. Kyrano didn’t do much in the show except get bullied by the Hood and little has changed.

Tone Trouble

I feel like the movie has a bit of an issue with balancing a consistent Tone. Again, let’s look back at TOS. It was a Family Show, designed to not just appeal to little kids, but to also keep their parent and other adult amused. Maybe some of it was also the result of the times, but striking to me is that they allowed the characters to get pretty hurt, complete with red paint being applied to look like realistic blood. Some of the criminals, including the Hood himself, would be very vicious, how he treats Brains in Desperate Intruder comes to mind. There was even firefights resulting in death, like the memorable climax of Operation Crash-Dive, where Gordon has to shoot a saboteur in the back, into the open sea below the compromised plane. He then proceeds to hold the cut wires together with his bare hands. Don’t try this at home, kids!

So while I can understand some of that being removed from the Movie (and TAG), there’s still the irritating going down to a perceived kid’s level for the majority of the film, which is probably also a large reason for the massive structural change. But then, there’s shockingly dark implications here and there, and the haunting sight of the crew trapped on TB5 floating lifelessly in the dark, asphyxiating. But then, again, we have goofy choreographed fight scenes with juvenile stock cartoon sounds. And then, we have Hood force choking Alan?! It has been mostly consistent until Act 3, then the tone goes up and down more than the flying machines.

Revamped Rockets

I’m mostly talking about the main craft here, though I know the Pod vehicles got modified too, I’m not sufficiently a TOS Pod Buff to go over them.

TB1 - Looks real nice! Maintains and even enhances the sleekness, and the idea of a glass cockpit is much better than having 1 tiny window and a dinky TV screen to see by. Oddly dark inside the cockpit considering how much glass there is, though. Probably my fav of the Movie Fleet.

TB2 - Oof. Looks bad, man. Like, really ugly. What have they done to the glorious design that was the Original Big Green? The unofficial mascot from her importance and unorthodox style? They turned her into a stubby, too glossy, chunky bar of green soap. The thick ass legs are a good idea but it sure ain’t enough. Also, she carries 3 smaller pods insteada 1 big one.

TB3 - Like TB1, pretty much the same design but streamlined a little. Docks with 5 sidewise instead of like pen going into its lid.

TB4 - I’m mixed. I like the idea of giving her a glass canopy and extendable arms, but the movie’s version is so boxy she looks more like a small yellow Greenhouse with the rear half of the old Four, haha. The arms also look a little stiff, can they bend? Now, if there was a sleek, glass hulled, variable armed, demolition charges-loaded Four, that would be my favourite possible version ;3 Four is my fav craft in TOS and TAG, for what it’s worth.

TB5 - I say it’s quite a visual improvement over TOS and the odds and ends jumbled look that had, though I do appreciate a bit of Chunkiness. This one really needs to have better defence too, TOS 5 may’ve been able to tank that missile lmao

FAB1 - I know that she would have been a Rolls Royce in the film, but BMW said no, so that’s not a point against the movie. And failing the classic image, it’s cute that it’s a Ford Thunderbird, though I’d have preferred one with those 50′s/60′s stylish fins personally lol. Her ability to fly is new here unless you count the Dream Sequence in Are Go (’66) and the water mode was also seen in that before this, and she gets the job done, though we don’t get to see as many gadgets and gizmos in the course of the film.

Unlikely Uniforms

I really don’t understand these. Why are they off white with minimal accent colours? What was wrong with the blueness of their suits and the broad stripe of a secondary colour? I sure ain’t saying the 60’s costumes were practical or even that fashionable, but they were very distinctive and striking!

Not only that, but for some strange unexplained reason, their uniforms all correspond not to their own speciality, but to which craft they’re currently piloting. Even if they’re all in the same Bird...! So like, four out of five are wearing identical looking red accented suits while locked in TB5. I already find the elder brothers to be the Similar Squad, and their microscopic name tags don’t help!

Why don’t they wear their own coloured uniforms all the time? Then ya don’t need the name tag at all! And the silly implication from the way there’s apparently a whole set of Craft Specific uniforms is that there’s piles of clothes that ain’t getting used in all of them, like the tiny TB4 probably having 6 whole sets on board at the end of the film.

Between that, no blue and the outfits looking like Generic Sports Wear, the only nice thing to say is the THUNDERBIRDS down the sleeve is a cool touch. Which should really say International Rescue or IR...

Mingled Misc.

Yeah, The conflation of Thunderbirds and International Rescue is a tad irritating but it’s actually something I can overlook. It’s not a dealbreaker and it makes sense the Dumbass Public would misunderstand and call them the wrong thing.

Jeff refuses Alan early access into IR and cites “No shortcuts”. Then at the end he echoes this when he is making Alan an official member, saying he did it with no shortcuts. The whole faffing scenario was a giant shortcut!!! Fuck training and being a suitable age, am I right?!

Amazingly I didn’t cover this already, but when Alan shortcuts his way onto the team he’s made pilot of ... TB4. That’s why he’s in yellow accents in the pic. Gordon is seemingly the main pilot of TB3 instead, but the movie doesn’t deign to make that clear. While I appreciate that the 14 year old with no Astronaut training isn’t put in charge of 3 instantly, I resent the careless removal of characterisation. Obviously movie Gordon never served with WASP or won the gold medal in swimming or had a massive hydrofoil crash to nearly kill him but ggggghgggaaahhhhhhhhh

Also what’s with the implication that Four is the Babby’s First Machine? She’s a highly specialised craft that would require different training to flying or Space shit! How dare you?! The most charitable link is that Alan stood around in 4 as Tin-Tin did most of the work herself, but I guess it coulda as some level of experience.

Ford Sponsorship - Gets a bit much! It’s one thing for all the cars to be Ford, but them seemingly owning the News is like an unpleasant look into a world where corporations run everything.... hahahaahaaaaaa........

Marvellous Music

Something the movie really excells at is the tunes! The remix of the Thunderbirds March is good in it’s own right and very welcome, and the new music is all solid. Special mention to Busted’s outro song for slapping so hard even people who hate the movie leave warm youtube comments about the song. I have a habit of listening to it set to TAG footage myself, haha

Sincere Summation

Look, I’ve come off negative in this, but I honestly have a lot of respect for a lot of the parts of this picture. Hood, Penelope, Parker and Jeff are fantastic, the physical models and sets have a lot of care and loving detail poured in, the music is all bangers and other little nods and homages to the show shine brightly. The director got a lot of good work in and I hold him no ill will.

I think the problem is in the Writing and probably Studio Mandates, I’m not 100% sure, but things often get snaggy when the studio you’re working under gets bought out by a bigger company partway through. Again, I’ll refer to the info I’ve seen instead of trying to relay it in my own words.

And they made a real bad call snubbing Gerry as a Creative Consultant. Some of his venom towards the film may be from that, as well as his alleged preference to Team America: World Police as a theatrical homage. And I’ve seen that before and wouldn’t really say that’s true to the spirit of Thunderbirds, but yeah...

I’d be interested in any future Thunderbirds Movies, if that’s ever on the cards again. I’d probably be even more up for continuation of the TAG series, or newer new Captain Scarlet with International Rescue involved. Either way, I want new footage of the Birds taking off again, be it puppet, people, CGI, or something new~

Extra Reading

https://securityhazard.net/2017/05/19/thunderbirds-2004/ Full movie review, warm reception. Contains photos of set pieces and costumes.

http://groovyfokker.blogspot.com/2013/02/thunderbirds-arent-go-unfilmed-versions.html Insight into some of the past issues developing a Movie, but gets some basic information wrong (Since when is Gordon the youngest and TB3 orange??)

Thanks if ya’ve been reading the whole thing! <3

[kaisooficrec]

Do you admins have any recent jock/fratboy fics??? I am sucker for it 😂😂

Hello, this is my first rec so I really hope it’s helpful!

Jock! AU:

A song to say I love you – Smut. High School!AU Kyungsoo is the lonely musician nerd who just can’t understand how can a jock be talented at baseball and dance and still be the gorgeous friendly guy.

Guys Bein’ Dudes, and sequel, Dudes Bein’ Boyfriends – Smut. Classic Sports!AU where Kyungsoo is not exactly a jock but a talented football player, and Jongin is the incredibly attractive cheerleader who makes him question his preferences. Memefucker69 is a legend and we all know that.

The Jock Digger – Nerd!Soo is asexual, but the swimmer with a “big head” and an unexpectedly pretty hair color might spark his interest. Also, best friends SeSoo and lots of crack. Gloriously hilarious.

Love In The Dark – Fem!Kyungsoo. Jongin is the popular striker and Kyungsoo is nothing but the invisible nerd who happens to be the younger sister of the famous cheerleader fem!Baekhyun and the center of interest of the unexpectedly shy soccer player.

Yes, The Brisket is Braised – Smut. Kyungsoo is a bitter and grumpy restaurant worker who mostly cooks for what he tags as insufferable jocks and jerks, until one of them caught his eye and eventually, his heart.

New Rules – Fem!Kyungsoo is an average student, not popular whatsoever, and so she can’t understand why the school’s most popular jock has chosen “her” to take his varsity jacket and be the object of his advances.

Blow Me Right – Pep Band!AU. Jongin hates football and automatically avoids all the players whom he has judged as intimidating jocks, so when he goes to the lockers for Baekhyun’s sake, the last thing he imagines is getting incurably horny over an extremely cute (naked) and attractive player. This is one of the most hilarious fics I have ever read, and Kyungsoo is THE ultimate adorable jock in the history of sports.

A Certain Romance – Smut. Kyungsoo knew for sure that jocks were not supposed to be that friendly or smell that good, but Jongin with his masculine pink hair and mellow voice proved every stereotype to be wrong. Actually hilarious, with a very satisfying addition of side ChanBaek.

Love Me Right – Very classic Sports!AU. This fic was recced so many times on the blog but it is an iconic must read with football players KaiSoo, annoying ChanBaek and the entirety of ot12.

Five Nights – Jongin sprained his foot during soccer and Kyungsoo visits him at home to help him keep up with lessons. As a jock and nerd respectively, their interactions start curt and minimized but they slowly learn to discover each other.

Personal Water Boy – When Kyungsoo agreed to be in an open relationship with the attractive jock he didn’t think it would hurt him that much. But maybe the nerd was for Jongin more than just a personal water boy after all. Short and veery mildly angsty, with bestfriends!BaekSoo.

Across Time and Space – Jongin and Kyungsoo were respectively a delinquent jock and a disciplined nerd who mutually disliked each other on different levels. Nothing prepared them for the day where they had to unwillingly trade bodies an ultimately, lives. A very original plot with a supernatural twist on the Nerd/Jock cliché.

Playing Pretend – As their Home Economics assignment, students (ot12) were paired to try and maintain a prosperous marriage. Coincidentally, most opposites end up together: the jock and the nerd (KaiSoo), the crush and eternal fan (KrisTao), the sworn enemies (BaekYeol)… Many side pairings, pretty original plot and misunderstood quiet Kyungsoo.

I Don’t Have Herpes – SeBaekSoo are three normal best friends who managed to get in trouble with the school jocks and bullies Kris and Jongin. Mentions of bullying and side ChanBaek.

Dare – High School!AU. Jongin is the popular leader of the football team who is dared to take Nerd!Kyungsoo’s virginity.

Frat! AU:

Our Season – Smut. ABO mechanics. Werewolves. Many things changed since the very first day in Kyungsoo’s new college: he made himself a best friend, attended a frat party, went through his first heat, lost his virginity and got marked by the resident womanizer. A beautiful lengthy fic that I am definitely planning on finishing soon.

Rush Ep Chi – Crack. Epsilon Chi Omega already has two typical brodudes, two notorious booties, two done-with-life presidents, two Chinese frat bros and a unique senior. Their recruitment system might be flawed, but the new recruits themselves are just perfect. My favorite type of comedy fics. Too bad it’s unfinished.

FratEXO – Where Exo Kappa is the top frat in the whole university that only accepts the best of the best, or a tipsy Jongin. A tale of twisted friendship and borderline lethal hazing. I love crack, and even more when it’s that beautifully written.

Fraternity Wars – ABO mechanics. Werewolves. A College!AU where every sub-gender has its own fraternity, with Alphas being privileged on many level. XiuHan and TaoHun as side pairings and OT12 appearance.

You can also check older fraternity fics and Sports!AU or College/University AUin general. Enjoy.

- Admin Cookie

P.S: My favorite fanfiction ever is Like Night and Day by Exobubz. It is ChanBaek centered but KaiSoo happens very gradually. So far, it has the best characterization I have ever read and it was Kyungsoo’s character. Also, “jocks” ChanKai, best friends/ex-boyfriends BaekSoo and chapters and chapters of crazily heavy angst. (Sorry but couldn’t let this rec go without mentioning it.)

[balancebeans]

business and pleasure

day 4 | first date | canon divergence

@taakitzweek

“Tell me, was this for business, or for pleasure?”  Kravitz asks tentatively.  He’s not nervous, per say.  He’s hung out with people before.  And Taako’s just a person.  A—a really beautiful person.  A very charming, beautiful person.  

“Yeah, I mean, a little bit of both.”  Kravitz smiles to himself, glad to be a pleasure to someone.  To someone so lovely.  He gathers his scythe, and his reaper’s clothing unfurls down his back.  But then, something sharp strikes him—a realization that there is something here.  Something sinister.  

“There’s something here.  There’s something here, Taako, it was—,”

“I feel it too!”  Taako exclaims, and Kravitz sighs a bit, because well, yes, but not quite that.  

“It was—no, no this, theres something here, it was in the Millers’ lab too, I could feel it.  It’s dead and it’s powerful and it’s extremely close.”  Taako’s lovely face turns to confusion, a bit puzzled, but still smiling.  How does he do that with his face?  Kravitz’s will have to figure that out after this bit.  “It’s dead, and it’s powerful and it’s extremely close.  Are you,”  Kravitz turns to look to Taako, afraid of what the answer will be,”  “Are you harboring a dark spirit, Taako?  Do you have suspicions that you might be some sort of vessel?”  Kravitz looks him over, for some arcane or necromantic symbol but he’s just--he’s just very cute. 

“Maybe?  I mean, it’s been, like, a few years.”  He laughs at himself a little bit.  “Was that a thing for a while?  I eat old dead dudes with my umbrella, is that a possibility, maybe?”  Taako is been genuinely co-operative, which is a comfort to know that he’s probably not a force of darkness and undeath lying dormant.  That means they can probably go on another date.

“I don’t—no, I don’t think it’s that.”  

“Well, uh, let me take a look at the rest of the crap I have—I have uh—?”  Taako starts to rummage through his satchel, pulling a few pieces of garbage, spare sweaters, and spices out from all the pockets, dropping them on the ground when he determines it’s not what he’s looking for.  

“I—dammit.”  His UmbraStaff drops to the ground, and Kravitz goes to pick it up for him, ever the gentleman.  Unfortunately, Taako bends over to pick it up at the same time, and they end up bumping heads and stumbling all over each other.   Until Kravitz missteps and theres a crack under his foot.  They clear the space, each taking a step back.  Before Kravitz can begin to utter an apology, there’s a sinister crackling of red lightening and necrotic energy.  And Kravitz recognizes it straightaway, as a lich gathering energy and forming in front of him.  Taako moves towards it, curious, and Kravitz immediately pulls him behind him, defensively pulling his scythe as the energy before him takes a humanoid form.  

“What took you so long, dingus?”  The lich asks, incredulous.  

“Are you talking to me?” Taako asks back, with the same intonation and incredulity.  

“Yeah, do you mind, ghost rider, I’m trying to talk to my brother.”  the lich darts around, closer to Taako.  Kravitz pivots to keep his scythe up, and keep Taako protected.  

“Hachi machi,” comes from two voices, from Taako and the lich: they sounds so similar, like echoes of each other.  

“Your sister is a lich?”  Kravitz asks, very confused.  

“I have a sister?”  Taako asks back, also very confused.

“Catch up, buttercup.” The lich responds.  “I guess you musta forgot, along with everything else.  No worries, no worries, now that I’m out of that umbr-hell-a, I can totally get you taken care of.”

“Cool, cool cool cool.”  Taako starts.  “One thing, is, I don’t have a sister, because, uh, I’m pretty sure that’s something I would know about myself.”

“Sure, sure sure sure.”  The lich replies, with a strikingly similar voice and the same cadence.  “I can super prove it to you, but I will be calling you the fuck out.  So if you’re okay with getting totally roasted in front of your new beau, then I got you covered on the explanation.”  She said coolly.  

“Call me the fuck out then, bro.”

“Sis.”  The lich corrects him swiftly.    “You named yourself Taako when you were 22 years old, and I know your birth name.  You changed your name at the same time I changed mine, to Lup.”  

“Lup?”  Taako asks, with a sudden recognition, still confused.  

“Your favorite food growing up was our aunt’s sweet rolls with chili, and you would add maple syrup, even though Auntie thought it was totally grody, it was actually really good because we were 13, we were just kids.”

Kravitz lowers his scythe a touch, still on the defensive.  But he looks back to Taako and sees something cross his face, like recognition, like something about the recognizing hurts.  Then he turns.

“C’mon Krav, let’s go, I’m not here to be bullshitted by some lich.”  He tugs at Kravitz’s shoulder, but, Kravitz can’t lower his scythe, can’t turn away.  “Kravitz?”

“This is a lich, Taako, I need to take it back to the Astral Plane, where it belongs.”  Kravitz raises his scythe again, but the lich vanishes.  Not a moment later, she reappears behind Taako.  

“You have to believe me, Koko.  You—your favorite season is summer because we were always so cold on the road in the winter, and the spring is too wet.  You sleep on your left side, and you get night terrors, and they just got worse when we went plane-hopping away from $%#&^**(!^&*!?>}{.”

“What?”  Taako asks.

“The—/‘;.>!#*&%”  The lich insists.  “But you can’t understand me!  None of you, Magnus, Merle, Davenport, you can’t hear me, because of %$&#*!*(7%.”

“That’s nothing, a coupl-ah g-good guesses and you know some names of some people with the Bureau.”

“I need to talk to Lucretia, she’ll back me up!”  Now, Taako is visibly upset, and Kravitz takes a swing at her in the middle of her pleading.  But somehow, she grabs the scythe by the staff and swings it around, discarding it and throwing Kravitz off his balance.  

“Leave me the fuck alone, cupcake, I’m trying to have a goddamn conversation with my brother.”  

“I’m not your brother!  I don’t know where the fuck you got this fucking idea that you’re my sister, but I don’t have any fucking siblings, I had one fucking aunt who kicked it at 600 and I have been alone until I got to this stupid moon.”  Now, if liches had faces, Taako would have noticed a shift in hers, but Kravitz has been around liches, dozens of them, and he recognizes the heartbreak there, the being on the edge of giving up.  

“Shit, Taako.  Let’s—give me a shot.  Call Lucretia, and ask her yourself. If I’m wrong, ghost rider can take me to hell-jail.  I’m betting my soul in an eternity of whatever-the-fuck on this, because I know I’m right.  If you can prove me wrong, then—then I’m gone.“

Taako hesitates, looking between Kravitz and the lich called Lup, before he makes a move.  

“Krav,” he starts.  Kravitz turns to listen but doesn’t take his eyes off the lich.  “Lemme call The Director.  See if we can’t sort this shit out.”

“Taako, even if this lich is your sister, she’s still a lich.  And I still need to take her back to the Astral Plane.”

“Yeah, but if I have a secret lich sister, I fuckin’ wanna know.”

“Fuck yeah!  We have some shit to work out, my dude, and we need to find my nerd!”

“Your nerd?”

“Yeah, my husband, Barry?”

“Barry Bluejeans?”

“Yeah, dummy.  You were at the wedding.  Merle officiated.  I guess that bit got wiped too, if you didn’t even know you had a fucking sister.”

“I don’t have a sister married to a man named Barry Bluejeans, that’s the wildest fucking shit I’ve heard, and I’m me.” An incredulous Taako starts dialing his Stone of Farspeech to call Lucretia, with a confused Kravitz still standing guard, cautious of the lich.  

“Hachi machi, bro, you won’t believe the bullshit we’ve been through.”  While the Stone buzzes, waiting for Lucretia to answer, Taako eyes the lich suspiciously.  

“If you’re not my sister, I’m fucking suing you for copyright infringement, this is fucking ridiculous.”

“There’s my bro.”

[isroselalondebisexual]

What do you think Jade Lalonde, Rose Harley, and Dave Egbert would be like? I've already seen some analysis on John Strider so i don't wanna force you into rehasing anything ^^;

Jade Lalonde, my girl Jade raised by a Permissive parent, probably wouldn’t look toooooooo terribly different from canon Jade. Her interests are well financed, and she’s a good self-motivator, which is probably good because showing off her achievements to a drunken parent isn’t going to get the same response as a coherent parent. Of course, Mom is super proud of her brilliant daughter, and of COURSE she loves her super duper dearly and thinks Jade is the most intelligent girl alive, but it can get a little frustrating for Jade to explain her interests, and then ten minutes later realize her mom hasn’t retained a word. This Jade’s gonna be more acclimated to frustration and broken expectations, which is gonna manifest itself in two ways. She’s not gonna respond much at all when she’s disappointed, sometimes by really major things that she SHOULD get pissed off about, or she’s going to blow the fuck up over seemingly minor shit that most people would be able to brush off. But it’s more about the principle of the thing than the actual expectation that got broken, y’know? Probably gonna be sneakier than canon Jade, able to manipulate the situation to get her mom to actually DO stuff she needs her to, whether that be through passive aggression or batting her eyelids or setting up a situation so her mom “conveniently” will be reminded of certain things, and that’s gonna carry over into her other relationships as well, entirely unintentionally at first, that’s just sorta how she’s used to operating. Her role, then, as the Witch of Light, combined with that naturally honed ability to manipulate the situation with intelligence and a calculated amount of luck, is going to be one that comes naturally to her, and she’s going to be a HELLRAISER. She’s going to be UNPARALLELED. There will be no imp nor ogre nor time travelling demon who spits destruction from his maw that will be able to stand against her. She’s here, she’s brilliant, and she and her friends will be catching no unlucky breaks because she is the one whose will Luck bends to.

Rose Harley, raised by a dog and some chess people, alone on an island. Probably gets pretty entrenched in her know it all bossy phase pretty quick, but is less sure of herself. Doesn’t get a lot of positive feedback aside from her dog and some chess people who she’s pretty sure she’s smarter than, but that makes human interaction even harder for her, and she’s never really been good at interpersonal stuff to begin with. Lots of false confidence, I think, but suffers from impostor syndrome pretty badly. She WANTS to belong in the group, she really really wants to be involved and included and someone who BELONGS there, but can’t shake the nagging feeling that everyone else is a regular human being and she’s. Weird. And not in a good way. Gonna be more anxious than her canon counterpart, I think. Her favorite books she’s read 1000 times over and she’s got SUPER in-depth thoughts and analysis for the stuff she takes interest in, a very very brilliant girl who is never sure when “sharing” becomes “oversharing” and when “odd in a fun way” becomes “Rose that’s creepy.” Her role as the Seer of Space goes along well with being awake on Prospit prior to the Game even starting, as she has dealt with visions of the future all her life. Unfortunately, since space is all-encompassing, she’s not seeing what is fortuitous, or what WILL happen, or even what SHOULD happen, she’s seeing what happens in pretty much any timeline anywhere and it’s her task to sit down, think about what she’s Seen, and parse together whether they should or shouldn’t take that path. Her honed analytical skills will be pushed to their limits and brought to task over and over again, but through her smarts and what she has Foreseen, she is able to direct their group and conduct them in such a way that the new universe is spawned and they are able to win. The fact that she is SO CRUCIAL to their success helps her feel more like part of the group, but presents a NEW problem of wondering if maybe now they’re just pretending to be interested in her for her abilities. Her big hurdle is allowing herself to see that she is loved and wanted, and she truly does belong with them.

Dave Egbert is a kinda nerdy dude, he takes his camera with him everywhere and is always taking selfies or posting stuff to his instagram and did you hear? I heard someone say he has a collection of like, roadkill or something. Dave absolutely has a collection of dead shit. Also cicada shells that show up on the trees and bushes, because hey man cicada shells are cool. He’s super into his dumb nerd shit like video games and even reads that dumb gamebro magazine that he damn well KNOWS is dumb but he likes it and he’s not embarrassed about his interests! He knows the stuff he likes isn’t cool and doesn’t try to pass it off as cool, he just enjoys himself and fuck the haters. He ADORES his dad, was definitely one of those kids that began crying the MOMENT his dad dropped him off at daycare or smth, very attached but also complains about him sometimes, because kids complain about their parents, especially since Dad Egbert is the type of dude to walk up in front of his kid’s friends and use the embarrassing toddler nicknames like “sport” or “squirt” or smth and Dave’s friends are like “lmao your dad actually calls you ‘sport’ I thought that only happened in movies” and Dad also has like, a wallet full of Dave’s pictures and Dave is just like “daaaaaad” but also heck yes he was an ADORABLE baby so he sorta thrives off the attention. Has the biggest, dumbest crush on John imaginable. Dad found out Dave was queer not because Dave came out, but because Dave is just SO OBVIOUS about his stupid giant big dumb crush on John and Dad just sorta… quietly accepted this about his son and tries to be a good parent however he can. He’s not the most well-educated about queer stuff but he always tries his best to be respectful and that goes doubly now that he knows his kid isn’t straight. Dave having a supportive parent is a very good concept and one I am wholly behind in literally every way. His role as Knight of Breath is the defender of freedom, which probably means he must first liberate his consorts from his denizen, and then has to go a step further to protect his friends, probably from their own neuroses. Jade thinks she has to leap through all these mental hoops, but she doesn’t, Rose thinks she has to PROVE her worth, that she’s valuable, but Dave would love his sister even if she couldn’t do anything for them, John has been trapped in this toxically masculine, angry place for years and Dave can help him out of there, help him find peace and acceptance even within himself, Dave can pry back the dark gunk that’s been coating John’s soul and let him breathe freely, possibly for the first time in his life.

John Strider, we’ve touched on so I’ll just go over briefly here, but I like to keep these asks done in sets and now that I’ve set a pattern I’m not breaking it. John would end up one of those nasty, nasty, angry bullies. Bro is toxic, abusive, hypermasculine, and unpredictable, which means John winds up angry, lashing out, and hypermasculine as well. He goes way too far, way too often, and doesn’t apologize, total jock stereotype from oldtimey movies and shit, strong and athletic and attractive and just plain mean. Acts like he’s hot shit because whenever he’s at home he’s painfully reminded that he is small, and weak, and can’t actually do anything. Dave is his bro and he likes him plenty but he makes a lot of mean spirited gay jokes to start, probably as a cover for his own identity crisis that he has buried so deep deep down inside him you’re gonna need a shovel to unbury that shit, and is oblivious to Dave’s crush on him. Has a soft spot for Jade, who is kinda the only person who can get John to talk about his feelings frankly and honestly, and probably has a crush on Rose because he thinks that that’s what he’s supposed to do. She’s a girl, she’s his friend, that’s how heterosexuality works, right? His role as Heir of Time, I’m afraid, would be a deeply unpleasant one. What would likely happen is he directs the alpha timeline by having his offshoot timeline selves merge with his alpha self, like what Rose did from Davesprite’s timeline back in canon. But instead of just, like, ONE offshoot timeline self merging with the whole, it’s every single dead John. Every single time his friends die, he dies, every time something goes wrong, he gets to Experience that. He gets to have those memories seared into his brain, one with himself, one with every timeline that has ever existed, and it only further cements his belief that life is cruel, and uncaring, and doesn’t give a single solitary shit about him, or his loved ones, because he does love them. He’s broken inside, all warped and twisted wrong, but he does love them. It is only, and I do mean ONLY, once he and Dave manage to have their heart-to-heart, once John allows Dave in, that John is able to slowly pry out of the dark and hurting place that has stifled his soul for so long. Not to be stupidly, ridiculously cliche, but it is love that frees him, and the love between the two of them that helps him heal. John Strider and Dave Egbert would be a nigh-inevitable otp like that’s just the way this AU would work out my dudes.

*sticks m leggy out* I love getting long winded and these are fun, please share your thoughts with me my dudes. 

[aintzane411]

spoilers for voltron season 4 under the cut!

Episode 1:

BOM keith!!! We knew about it but still aaaa

why is everyone being a dick to keith let him live

theyre keeping him so busy just let him take a nap

btw this is 100% not real shiro this is a clone this is wrong

i need a hairspray AU with coran as corny collins

lance had to have been a theatre kid cmon

why does kolivan’s mask have 3 eye holes? he doesnt have 3 eyes does he? 

other guy has 3 eye holes too

rip other guy

i s2g keith is gonna get back and everyone’s gonna rip into him but this poor boy just needs some oxygen and a nap jfc

coran laser noises!!!

NOT! MY! SHIRO!

ew ka//ura like kudos to shippers but *sigh*

keiths bom suit lowkey looks like he has boobs like i am totally here for trans!keith yes pls

kolivan insists he doesnt bind during missions bc its dangerous and that just adds to his stress levels poor bby

there are. furries in this rebellion. god damn it

“undetected” my boy keith doesnt do “undetected” guys

pls just let keith be happy omg

whyyyy are they furries??? like the artists knew what they were doing cmon

im gonna cry if this is actually shiro like i love kuron to death but please no

im so scared omg

let! keith! rest!!!

“he can finally be the leader i was unable to be” god keith ily im sorry babe

sheith hug!!!! leading into a group hug!!!!

but lets be real im terrified like keith is leaving the team what the fuck

Episode 2:

aaaa flashback!!! Katie!!!

o shit this is called Reunion we’re gonna find matt this episode!!!

ill punch this kid callin pidge a nerd fight me bro

MATT FLASHBACK

pidge is so cute holy fucking shit

also tag yourself im matt’s “big fucking muscles”

ooh heres the scene they showed at nycc does that mean the kaltenecker scene is in the season too?

my smol smart child im love her

smol smart badass child

stop! misgendering! my! child!

pls give pideg her brother back 

“paladin pidge” how cute

IM LOVE PIDGE

plant gun!

portable xray!

o shit matt was an officer!!!

i like how matt’s “rebel officer transponder” picture is him in the galra prison gear lol

omg matt “what the garrison doesnt know wont hurt them” i love

“what dad doesnt know wont hurt him” MATT

im gonna scream if matts dead

dont you dare

theres still 9 minutes left dont you dare

FUCK

please plesae please please god

FUCK THESE FUCKING WRITERS

STUPID EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH JFC

its almost 3am and im glad im emotionally dead inside or else i would have cried like 4 times already

THERE HE IS

omg its just like ree’s canon holy shit lol

there he is holy shit thank god

this is. so pure.

ofc matt has a bounty on his head jfc

“lets show this guy what the holts are made of” god fucking bless

ok now you guys gotta find sam too cmon

niceeee good work guys damn

SCIENCE NERDS OMG

Episode 3:

okay pidge has her brotehr now lets get my boys back in the right lions kthx

ok so after rewatching s3 i think haggar and zarkon are possessed by these creatures

omg. omg matt is straight for allura wtf this is the Last Thing I Expected

shatt hug!!

technically kuratt hug but shhhhhhhh

omg lance calm down

oh boy here comes super zombie zarkon rip

“wayward son” omg

milkshake reference yes

wait please give me langst and have lance feel like hes being replaced by matt please i need more langst in my life

omfg kaltenecker scene!!!!

its even better than the clip omfg

i want lotor to come to the good side i want him to be a good guy let him have mommy issues with keith

yessss bls tell hunk how much of a genius he is thank

oh nooooo i bet pidge normally plays the game with lance but shes busy with matt aaaaa D:

i changed my mind i dont want langst

second ship??? oh boy

third??? OH BOY

matt needs to wash his hair

smelly boy

shoutout to ree and matt

i need more info on shiro/kuron omfg please

YASS PIDGE UPGRADE VOLTRON WITH CLOAKING YES

omg omg matt is gonna pilot green holy shit

damn rip narti there goes our main physically disabled character besides shiro ugh

WHERE IS KEITH BRING MY BOY BACK

omg i think lotor is gonna end up on team voltron whoa

Episode 4:

WHERE! IS! SHIRO!!!

WHERE! IS! KEITH!!!

“besides playing keith is really easy, just act moody” dont call me out like this

ok lance was 100% a theater kid but always an ensemble member never a lead, for which he was bitter about and made up for the fact by being way too over the top as an ensemble

is. is coran gonna do drugs?????? what the fuck????

omg corans room is adorable

ewewewewew brain bug omfg ew

space mall!!

omfg his fucking accent jfc

hunk “well it rhymes so its gotta be true” ily hunk

please never use any of this advice for real theater stuff smh

stick alien!

omfg an “on ice” performance holy shit

fuckin stick alien zarkon and haggar holy shit

careful guys you might break an arm

like i did smh

“loverboy lance” beautiful

“SHIRO THE HERO” THANK

even tho its not shiro but shhhhh

stop! throwing! hunk! under! the! bus!!!

the fact that no one is questinoing coran’s personality just proves that none of them would notice the subtle changes between shiro and kuron so the theory still stands

jesus christ fucking meta “except for you shiro youre the most popular character ill never get rid of you” fuck you writers

varkon! mermaids!

i miss keith :(

ep 4 moral of the story: dont do drugs kids

let! bibobi! live!!!!

Episode 5:

yesss give me keith!!!!!

omg voltron and bom and rebels are all doing a big mission together yes

me: suddenly remembers the “and lance dies so theres that” interview also me: panics

ROLO!!!

different VA??? not norman reedus i think???

hunk! being! badass! yes!!!!

im still v suspicious of this shiro smh

FEMALE GALRA COMMANDER!!!!

shes pretty oh no

why tf does there gotta be furries in the rebellion

oh fuck i almost thought matt died jfc

this commander looks like a steven universe diamond

KEITH MY BOY!!!!!

bby im proud of you for training with the bom but im so glad youre back aaaaaaaa

babe there he is aaaa!!!!!! im love keith!!!!!

now give me the real shiro jfc

and get lance back in the blue lion jfc

i s2g if matt dies

i s2g if lance dies

eyyy hell yeah go acxa

eyyy hell yeah go keith

this is going too well something is gonna happen im so scared

im really scared damn

Episode 6:

hhhhhh im terrified oh boy here we go

this one is called a new defender oh fuck

white lion?!?!?!

will keith be the white paladin?!!?!?!?!!

i just really want everyone back in their original spots bls

wait wtf is going on i zoned out for a bit its 4am

its gonna be those alternate reality being things again istnt it

lance “what are those” nice meme reference

shiro now is not the time to stay behind and analyze fuckin get ur team out of there god damn it now theres a force field around the planet fucking hell

this isnt good. this isnt good at all. and the music sounds so ominous oh god

im so scared

lance i s2g you better not do anything stupid

lance i s2g you better not do antyhing stupid

bls no a//urance

lance i s2g you better not do anything stupid

KEITH YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHIGN STUPID EITHER HOLY SHIT

shoutout to coran for just having to hang back while all of his loved ones risk their lives

lance i s2g

im so scared holy shit

LANCE DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID

w h o a

I LOVE KEITH SO MUCH

shoutout to coran for just accepting that alluras telling him to leave when everyon ehe loves could very well die

im love keith and his new leadership skills he learned in the bom but DONT YOU DARE DIE HOLY FUCK

no one is allowed to die

keith dont you dare

keith dont you dare

keith DONT YOU DARE

KEITH

holy fuck oh my god hes ok hes ok holy fucking shit

o shit

o shit lotor is gonna join the coalition i fucking called it!!!

holy fuck that was a lot of emotions and where the fuck is shiro fuck you writers fuck you

[emmettspeakz]

Klance with the classic fake date?

Warnings: makeout session but not too detailedThanks to @simon-basil for the suggestion of where to go with this.

Anyway, enjoy anon

It was lunchtime and Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Eleanor, and Michelle grabbed a picnic table outside. They were all friends since middle school and all of them were planning to try to get into the space program. Eleanor was short with dark brown hair down to her collar bone and eyes to match, with three freckles on each cheek. Michelle was much taller, blonde hair and blue eyed, with "hipster glasses" that framed her face well. Trees sat in front of them, school behind them, a soft, pleasant breeze blowing the hair from all their faces. It was still early fall in their junior year of high school, the leaves on the trees only just starting to change colors. Footsteps sounded behind them from a bit far off."Keith, your 12 o'clock is coming." Pidge warned. Keith visibly tensed. That was a code word for the girl who always bothered the group at lunch, mostly because of Keith. She was--well "in love" was the wrong term. More like "enamored" with Keith. The girl was kind, but just very stalkerish and creepy. She had memorized Keith's entire class schedule and tried to get all her classes switched to be in his every class. She waited for him outside of his classes and was late to hers just to make sure he got to his alright. She had followed him after 4th period once and now she knew where he sat every day during lunch. Keith had had enough one day and told her he didn't feel the same way she did but she wouldn't take no for an answer. He'd tried everything to get her to leave him alone, but she didn't get it. He was getting desperate. "Heyyyy Keith!" The girl's voice sounded cheerful behind him as Keith shoved his salami sandwich in his mouth, slightly hoping it'd choke him. "Hi Hillary." Keith mumbled around his food. Hunk flashed him a sympathetic look and Keith acknowledged it with a quick smile."I got you something." She dangled a box in her small hand over his head. "Oh what could it be?" Keith asked swallowing his food down. As if he didn't already know. She had always given him the same thing.He took the small box from her and opened it. Inside was yet another pair of leather gloves like the ones he always wore. He had never used another pair in his life as the ones he wore were the only remaining reminder of his mother, and he refused to use any of the gloves Hilary had given her. They all looked the same, but somehow she'd know if he was wearing hers. "Do you like them?" She squeaked.Keith replied how he always did when this happened, with complete monotone. "Yeah...totally." Keith had finally had enough of this. He didn't want to tolerate it anymore. This was ridiculous. If the school didn't do something, he had to. "Okay. I'm gonna go eat my lunch, see--""Wait up Hilary." Keith told her. She spun to face him, eager to listen."Look, I've told you a thousand times that I don't like you that way but you just don't get it. So I'm gonna have to come right out and say it: I'm gay. Please leave me alone."Hilary's face was awestruck but she responded the only way she knew how. Angry and distraught."You're not gay! I've seen you! You like girls! If you like boys, if you're really gay, prove it!""I have a boyfriend." Keith replied simply. You have a what now? He asked himself."I don't see him. Where is he?" Hilary retorted. "He's around here somewhere.""You're lying."Keith sighed. "If I prove to you that I have a boyfriend, will you leave me alone for good?"Hilary crossed her arms and glared at him. "Fine." She answered him and stormed off.Keith sighed and sat back down to continue eating. "You're gay Keith wow wouldn't have known." Eleanor said sarcastically. As if his friends hadn't been told of his sexual orientation by now. "Shut up." Keith laughed. "It was the only way to get her off my back.""Well who's your boyfriend?" Michelle asked."I don't have one.""We know you idiot." Pidge retorted. "But who are you gonna get to be your fake boyfriend? Unless you can get a boyfriend by tomorrow somehow."Keith sighed heavily. Who would do that for him? He couldn't ask the football team, or anyone on the tennis team. He was a giant nerd, no one popular would want to pretend to be his boyfriend. Then he remembered Hunk and Lance. "Would either of you guys do that?" Keith inquired of them. Hunk and Lance looked at each other before speaking."Sorry Keith, you know you're my bro but I like girls." Hunk replied. "You know I'd do anything else for you, but I'm not at actor.""I get it." Keith told him. He turned to Lance, who Keith knew was bisexual. Even if lance wasn't into Keith like that, he knew Lance could at least act like he was. "Absolutely not. I'm not gonna kiss you in front of this girl." Lance growled. "You're my friend sure but I'd never do anything like that with you sorry.""Come on Lance!" Eleanor urged him. "It's just for one day. And after tomorrow, Keith will owe you big time." Lance pouted, thinking it over. "Fine, fine. I'll do it. But for one day. That's it. I'm doing it cuz I'm a great friend. And cuz Hilary is fucking annoying to me too." Keith couldn't believe what he was hearing. His face stretched into a wide smile."Thank you Lance. I owe you big time.""Yeah, yeah you do."Secretly Lance had always had a small crush on Keith, but since they were good friends and it wasn't big enough to really have a huge effect on Lance's friendship with Keith, he had chosen to keep it to himself. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he was happy to be dating someone, even if it was pretend. He craved intimacy with people, especially as a part of a couple. He looked nervous as he finished his food. He'd just have to see what happened tomorrow. ***Keith walked the halls that morning, afraid to see Hilary. Just as Hilary approached him, Keith felt a hand intertwine his fingers in theirs. He looked up to see Lance smiling at him broadly. "We gotta get to homeroom babe." He told Keith loudly, obnoxiously loud so Hilary could clearly hear it. She let out a humph and headed off toward her own homeroom. Keith turned to Lance, his face slightly hot with nervousness."Thanks." "No problem." Keith expected Lance to let go when Hilary could no longer see them but he kept holding his hand until they got to homeroom. He didn't seem to care about the looks the people in the hallway gave them. Keith admired him for it and made a mental note to learn a few things from Lance today. They always went to the same homeroom but for some reason never walked there together. It felt nice to change things up. "I'll meet you after 4th period." Lance whispered to Keith as they sat down next to each other. "We'll make it convincing."Keith smiled. Lance knew Hilary was in his class and that she'd come running to Keith after 4th period and lance seemed to intend to be there first. "Got it. Thanks."***After 4th period, Lance met Keith at his locker."You ready?" Lance asked. "For what?""For--"That's when Hilary came walking up. Lance's eyes bulged out of his head in surprise and pulled Keith close to him by his jacket collar into a kiss. Keith's eyes widened but he kissed back as he saw Hilary in the corner of his eye. Lance was surprisingly a good kisser. Keith's first kiss was amazing. Lance and Keith pulled apart, Keith still blushing as Hilary came trotting up to them.Lance crossed his arms and flashed her a smirk."So I hear you've been hitting on my man." Lance said.God, how could he be so damn suave?Hilary looked from lance to Keith and back again. To Keith's surprise, she sighed. "Fine. Guess you're gay. Sorry for all I've put you through, I didn't know.""No hard feelings." Keith heard himself say. As much as he wanted to hold a grudge, there was no need. Hilary forced a smile then walked away. "Lance!" Keith cried, smacking him on the shoulder and facing him. "You fucking saved me dude!"Lance grinned."Glad I could help.""Guess we can stop with this nonsense now huh?"Lance smiled. "Probably good idea to keep it going the rest of the day."Keith smiled back. "I do owe you one. Wanna hang out after school? I'll get you something.""Sure, sounds like a plan."After school lance and Keith went shopping. Lance got a nice fancy outfit out of Keith and Lance bought Keith some nice fancyish chocolates. Then they went back to Keith's to play videos games and lance helped Keith make a quick dinner. Everything was like old times. It'd been a while since they'd hung out just the two of them. It was nice. Soon it got late though. "Aren't your parents supposed to be back already?" Lance inquired. "It's almost 10.""Nah they're doctors remember? They have another 12 hour shift.""Oh okay." "Plus it's the weekend and--what?"Lance was looking at Keith a way he'd never looked at him before."Lance? Are you okay? Are you sick?" Keith asked, suddenly scared. "Should I call an ambulance?"Lance laughed. "I'm fine, you idiot.""Then what--"Lance gave him the look--the unmistakable, questioning if where this was going was okay look. The "I wanna kiss you real bad right now" look that Keith had only seen in movies. "Oh." He said, understanding as lance pressed his lips to his, the way he did at school by his locker, except this time the kiss was more passionate, more needy, more intimate. Dispite himself, Keith groaned loudly as Lance moved to his neck and started sucking. He had never done this before with anyone, his sexual frustration was at an all-time high, and now he had someone to relieve him. He held lance closer into his chest, not wanting lance to leave him for a minute. "Lance." He sighed out, enjoying himself. Lance smirked at him and continued, adding a few teeth. Keith was in ecstasy, calling out lance's name as his pleasure built up. He rubbed his body against lance's wanting to get more intimate but now was not the time. Lance finally left his neck and attacked his mouth with his, kissing him even more passionately, occasionally biting Keith's bottom lip and pulling at it slightly. Keith couldn't get enough of Lance. He'd never experienced anything like this before and he didn't want it to end.Finally, panting, they both broke apart. When his breath was somewhat restored, Lance turned to face Keith."Guess we really are dating now." He teased, leaning over and giving Keith's cheek a kiss. Keith beamed at Lance, his nerves still on fire from his touch. "Guess we are." He replied.

[bubblemagician]

Happy Birthday Zach!!

My birthday gift for @doctorsinner

It was the last day of school and the giddy thrill was palpable all over Greenville Elementary. The schoolyard was awash with students exchanging numbers, signing yearbooks, and giving last minute hugs and promises to stay in contact.

Mr. Brice Andrews however was making his way to the slightly quieter part of the building, the colorful and bright class of Miss Gina’s pre-kindergarten.

“Daddy!!!” The rather unpleasant scent of Gluttony materialized as little Marie jumped into her father’s arms.

“My cupcake!” Brice scooped up his baby girl and planted a kiss in her soft rosy hair. “I’m pumped to see yer performance today!”

“I hope I do good…” she murmured as Brice made his way with her to the child sized seats reserved for parents.

“You’ll be amazing, Marie.” Papa Pride squeezed his baby’s shoulder “My cupcake is the GREATEST at ABC’s, no doubt about it! Ain’t another girl in the world as smart as my Marie!”

Marie happily took the pep “… Ain’t … another boy smart like my Daddy! ” she parroted back “in the whole World!!!”

“That’s right!” Brice playfully tickled up her sides “What a smart cookie!” He mercilessly attacked her into giggles as other parents and families poured in the class, happy in their special Daddy-daughter way. But both father and daughter suddenly stopped as they sensed the incoming Pride their way.

“Mama! Miles! Roy-bro!” Marie waved at her brothers “You came to watch me?”

“Of course Marie!” mature and wise former first grader Roy Andrews nodded to his sister, going up to her and giving her a big hug. “You are going to be GREAT!”

“I’m gweat too!” little Miles interjected from his Mama’s arms.

“Shh, Miles, it’s your sister’s day today.” Zel nudged the toddler in her arms, putting away her keys. Miles made a pouty face before burying his face in Mama’s neck.

“NO biting, Miles” Zel whispered firmly, taking Roy’s hand with her free one and walking to the seats.

“Excuse me, sir” she stepped right in front Brice sitting on the tiny school chair, causing his face to line directly with the zipper on her jeans. “Is this seat taken?”

Brice felt a smirk form on his lips and took a moment to openly look up and down his wife. He was about to reply-

“That’s not a sir, that’s DADDY” Brice on instinct shut his lanky Once-ler legs as Roy jumped into his lap and started to kiss his face.

“Eyy Roy” Brice hugged his sunshine and joy as Marie moved to make space for her brother. “We’ll go straight to yer class after this, ok?”

Roy nodded “Yeah I have a lot to show you! We haveta take home all our projects and artworks and report cards! Ms. Sanders said I was a really good boy the whole year and she was sad that I’m going to third grade but I’m getting bigger and smarter and I’m supposed to-”

He was interrupted by Gina calling for attention. Marie scurried to take her place with her classmates and Zel took the seat next to Brice. Roy quieted to watch his sister and even Miles decided to behave rather than scamper off. Brice discreetly felt warm fingers trace down his thigh before Zel’s warm palm found his. He gave his queen a light squeeze as his daughter started her little preschool performance.

~

After collecting Marie’s backpack and various projects from the past school year, and saying goodbye to all seventeen of Roy’s best friends (and pulling Miles off the teenaged crossing guard) the Andrews made their way home.

The kids had their dinner and played awhile before Brice firmly tucked them into bed. And once the evening routine was over, Brice hauled the end of year artworks and photos to the living room and got out the two albums labeled ‘Roy skool stuff’ and 'Marie school stuff’.

He sprawled out on the floor in front of the coffee table, shuffling through tests and homework that was either thrown away or set aside to carefully preserve in proud memory of his beautiful babies.

He was busy cutting off the edges of something sciency nerd related that Roy had reported on (not that HIS son was a nerd) when he heard the soft footsteps and tasted the aromatic scent of his Queen approach.

“Are you archiving EVERYTHING, babe?” Zel murmured, parking herself next to him and pecking his cheek. Brice took a moment to squeeze her shoulder then returned to his task.

“Not everything… I threw out the all the spelling tests”

Zel opened her mouth to say something, but changing her mind and nudged him instead “Mmhmm… here, lemme help you”

The parents took about an hour but soon everything was organized into the neat little school albums. Brice stood up and proudly admired his effort.

“Is yer man the best scrapbooker ever or not, Zel? Yes or yes?”

“I’ll have to go with the obvious answer and say… yes. My man is the greatest scrapbook maker ever” Zel got up behind him and wrapped her arms around her King, resting her torso on his back and leaning her chin on his shoulder “and the greatest dad… the greatest husband, the greatest guy in the world~”

Brice shuddered as the compliments worked their way downwards. He shamelessly took Zel’s hand and brought them lower.

“Damn straight” he purred “keep ta-”

“We’re going to have to make one for Miles now” Zel interrupted, looking at the two binders. Brice paused.

“Yeah…” he swallowed the familiar, but still painful dread of being separated from his babies. “Gotta enroll Milo in preschool after summer…” It was for the best, he KNEW that. But that didn’t make the parting any easier.

“Brice I also-” Zel spoke hesitantly, letting go of him. Brice turned his face to look questioningly at her.

“You also what?”

“I also… want to enroll you in the Academy. Police Academy.”

Brice blinked at his wife. They hadn’t seriously talked about Brice ACTUALLY joining the Greenville police force since… well since Zel had Miles. And his Pride-born son had been such a handful to raise, any thought of a job outside of 'full-time parent’ was a pipe dream.

But now that junior was growing up…

Zel took Brice’s hand in her own.

“I can put in an application for you and get you an interview by next week. And if you pass, you can get in the Academy straight after school starts for the kids- the process to get in is really easy! I mean… I mean if you still wanted to…”

Brice watched the blush seep over her cheeks and her free hand stroking her own hair as she looked away from him.

“Absolutely” he took her chin and turned her face back to his “Yes I wanna be a cop with you” he pecked her lips quickly, then once more for good measure. “When can I start?”

Zel’s face broke into a shy grin and she pressed her face into his neck, taking his medal. He heard her mumbling something like 'not that easy’ and 'hard work’ and something about knowing how to spell.

“C'mon babe, it’s ME we’re talking about here, You know I’ll do ya proud!”

Zel peeked up from his collar with her deep ocean eyes.

“You’re right… you always do” a timid kiss to his neck “You’re strong and courageous and intelligent in your own way… you’ll be excellent on the force 💙”

Brice gave a slight groan at the compliments, automatically holding her closer so she could feel exactly what she was doing to him “Mm… I think I need…” he subtly pressed into her front “a much closer look at what it’s like to be in a cop”

Zel was still bashfully resting on his neck at the idea of her man professionally joining her side at long last before she fully heard him.

“Brice oh my GOD” Zel pushed him off in embarrassment at the crassly immature statement. Brice only grinned, pulling her back into his arms.

“What, what’s wrong with getting an 'inside’ advantage, hm?” he nuzzled into her hair before biting down lightly over her shoulder. Zel squeaked as she punched into his abdomen, playfully attempting to pry him off. Brice simply picked her up by her thighs.

“Is this any way to treat your best cop on the force, Cap?” he looked up at her, eye twinkling in mischief, squeezing the thin material of her jeans.

Zel pretended to struggle before she dropped a hand down Brice’s shirt, plunging perfectly manicured pink nails into the icy inked flesh of his Mark.

Brice couldn’t help but tense up, trying to keep ahold of her as pleasure shot throughout his body. Captain Andrews was relentless, stroking up and down exactly the right spot, each touch more agonizingly arousing than the last, all his strength rushing to his core, the Pride in his body focusing on the most sensitive part- with a low grunt Brice’s knees buckled and the pair landed on the soft carpet.

“I expect compliance and respect out of all the new recruits” Zel climbed over Brice, leaning her lips into his ear, still fingering into his back “Dedication to Justice and to the Law…” she locked their torsos, both their heart beats in tandem (though Brice’s was steadily increasing) “and of course dependability, honesty and hard work”

“I’m all… about working… hard” Brice managed to answer through heavy breaths “lemme- prove myself- Cap”

Zel’s other hand was already snaking lower “Take your best shot, rookie”

~

“Thank you, Mr. Andrews. We will be contacting you in case we need further communication”

Brice sat a little straighter after his hour long interview session. Was that it? Did he get the job? Why weren’t they saying anything? He sat awkwardly at the desk a few seconds more before standing up to shake the officer’s hand.

“Oh and Mr. Andrews? Please ask the front desk for the necessary tests needed before you go.”

“Yessir. Thank you.” Brice nodded, leaving the small room into the precinct hallway.

“Brice!” Zel rushed up to him enveloping him in a peppermint scented hug. He caught her in his arms and gave a content sigh, the Pride of his Queen building him back up a little.

“Hey babe, you were here the whole time?”

“Of course, I’m not going to LEAVE you during something like this! How’d it go??”

Brice paused “I mean obviously I was awesome. They’re just tryin’ to keep me in suspense”

Zel let go of him to take his side, linking her arm with his. She was in plainclothes (no need to intimidate the other already nervous interviewees) but Brice still held his head proud knowing that his wife outranked over half the cops here, including the high-schooler who’d been obnoxiously flexing the entire time in the wait room.

Zel nodded as they walked “I mean there’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t be accepted. You’re strong, you’re agile, you’re… smart”

Brice inhaled the compliments, squeezing her hand as Zel asked front desk for the paperwork.

She looked over the packet and suddenly paled.

“Zel? What’s the matter?” Brice asked in concern. Surely he didn’t… completely bomb…

“I forgot…” Zel said quietly “They want a full bill of health… including…” Zel looked up at him, a mix of fear and concern “Blood tests”

Brice felt a sudden jolt in his stomach, but his Pride had him force out a laugh “It’ll be alright babe… I’m in top notch health… everything will be fine”

Zel swallowed and gave him another hug.

“Let’s get you some lunch… and if you’re ready…”

Brice held her protectively, stroking firm circles into her back to keep her relaxed. “I’ll be just fine. Let’s go”

~

After two vials of blood were collected, Brice was definitely NOT fine. He felt weak and shaky, and worst of all alone. They hadn’t let Zel inside, and now that the pretty nurse had left to put away the tubes, Brice sat in solitude on the clinic chair.

His arm felt numb, and it seemed like the rest of his body was following suit. The precious little blood he had was already limited and now that he’d given up even more… Brice tried to blink back the growing darkness in front of his eyes and the dreadful sense of humiliation as the heaviness set in his limbs.

There was really no point in being a cop… they probably saw through his mediocre GED and didn’t believe he was in his forties. No schooling, no training, no experience.

And worst of all he was a criminal. A red-handed, bloody, murderous monster. Cops catch the bad guys, they don’t… let them join…

He slumped over in his seat, thinking of Zel’s face. She’d be so disappointed…

“Mr. Andrews!” He heard the nurse shriek as she returned. He couldnt tell much else she was doing, he couldn’t care either. If he was dying, he wanted to think of his family, not a ridiculous nurse who couldn’t even keep him alive. He pictured his sunshine Pride and Joy firstborn Roy. His precious cupcake princess Marie. His rambunctious, adoring mini-me Miles. Dan. Francis.

Zel…

He could almost hear her voice calling out his name, feel her warmth in his arms, taste her minty essence. Like a guardian Angel, so undeserving of a devil like himself.

With a weak groan he drank mouthful after mouthful after mouthful of sweet Sin before popping off Zel’s jugular.

“Princess?” he murmured in weak surprise a blue eye staring down at her. She had somehow appeared, sitting in his lap and facing him. She was weakly clinging to his medal and still bleeding from the neck.

“H-hey handsome~” Zel winced, touching the deep fang puntures. She must have run straight from the waiting room to get to him. Brice licked off the mess of blood on his lips and carefully supported her back and shoulders, eyes darting to the shocked Nurse.

“Can you get some bandages or something??”

“Yes. Right away.” the nurse scrambled to the cabinets and Brice eased himself off the exam chair to place the love of his life on it.

“Zel” he stroked her hair softly, his heart swelling with love and guilt as he eyed the bite “oh Princess I’m so sorry…”

“No, I’m fine.” she answered immediately in reassure “I should be sorry, you nearly-”

Brice quieted her with a gentle peck before the nurse started fumbling around to dress the bite. Luckily even in his barely conscious state earlier he had some semblance of control. The punctures weren’t too deep and pretty soon the anxious Nurse had the Queen all cleaned up.

“Let’s go home” the pair simultaneously spoke aloud. The Nurse seemed to want to interrupt them, but with an intimidating glare from Brice she let them leave.

Zel dialed up her father to take Roy and Marie back to his place for the night and the Pride couple made their way to their house for some much needed rest.

“How’re you feeling Brice?” Zel snuggled up next to him in their bed “Weak? Dizzy?”

“No, no. I’m perfectly OK now. Thanks to you” he pressed his lips to her warm forehead “What about you?”

“I’m… sorry you’re still in your boxers” she teased. Brice gave a faux grimace

“Nasty” he stuck his tongue out at her. He knew she was just playing around, he held her closer. They lay in the comfortable silence they rarely got to experience thanks to the kids, just quietly feeling the love and gratitude they shared for each other.

“My King?”

Brice opened a blue eye “Yes, my Queen?”

“Are you sure about this? Joining the force?”

Brice was too surprised by the question out of the blue to answer, so Zel continued.

“I mean because… it’s dangerous. Very dangerous. Seeing what happened to you today…” he heard her swallow “Babe, I don’t ever want you to hurt” She intuitively crawled over to be on top of him in her protective, lioness-like way.

Brice gently brushed his fingertips down her sides to rest at her thighs.

“I never want you hurting either. But I always see you off with a smile everyday.” he leaned up to kiss her, his cool lips on her warm, slowly drinking in her essence. He stroked up and down her sides again, tracing the scars just barely visible on her skin.

“Cuz it’s the right thing to do s'why. Letting you go and knock crooks outta the park. It’s what you’re best at. No doubt about it”

He released her from his liplock, gazing calmly into the ocean blue of her eyes.

“I know I can be the best at it too. I wanna help you” he ran icy digits once more up her body then down her shoulders to join with both of her hands. “I wanna be by yer side and give you everything I got in every way I can.”

He clutched her petite hands in his “Yer my Queen, Zel. And I’ve always wanted to be there to protect you”

Zel’s eyes had been growing steadily wider and wider as he spoke and with an embarrassed whimper she dived into his neck, face a scarlet sunset. She nodded and mumbled something but Brice just smirked, holding her close.

“Yeah I KNOW you can take care of yerself just fine” he nudged her “Let’s go to sleep, hm?”

He nuzzled her hair then closed his eyes. It took her a few moments but soon her breathing had gone even and steady in slumber. Brice kissed her once more and settled down into the pillows.

Of course he wanted to be with Zel all the time if he could. But it was so much more than just that.

He thought of all the middle aged PTA moms who wouldn’t stop pestering him about the 'secret to his youthful skin’. He thought of all the little boys and girls at Greenville Elementary who waved to him everyday. He thought of the Starbucks Barista, the grocers, the neighborhood mailman and all these fragile humans living their tiny lives.

Lives worth protecting so that Roy, Marie and Miles could live in a safe, peaceful future.

And no matter how dangerous it got, the future of his Legacy was worth protecting with everything he had.

He felt his own eyes start to droop as he pictured the faces of his Pride and Joys. A small smile played on his lips as he gave a yawn, about to join Zel in sleep.

But the days surprises weren’t over yet, his phone rang.

“Brice Andrews?”

“Tha’s me” he answered in a groggy tone “Whaddaya-”

“This is Lieutenant Chen from the GVPD. You have been accepted into our Officer training program, one of the most prestigious-”

Immediately the wariness of the day evaporated.

“I got in!?”

“Yes, you will be receiving your letter of acceptance in the mail. In the meanwhile -”

“I GOT IN!!! YES, THANK YOU!” Brice hung up the phone and turned to his wife.

“Zel!” he whispered “Zel, guess what?”

Zel groaned and turned away from him. Brice beamed happily at her sleeping form and decided to wait. Let his Queen rest for now. He was going to jump on her the second her eyes opened in the morning.

~

The Andrews family was all dressed to the nines as they waited at a table in Greenville’s fanciest restaurant. Roy and Miles in spiffy little button down shirts and their hair combed out neatly and Marie in a lacey pink dress and hair in two perfect pigtails held with pretty bows. Zel was wearing a midnight blue number and Brice was in his Pride-Ler suit, sitting straight and tall as they waited for Daniel to arrive.

“Grandpa!” All three kids chimed as the man approached. He smiled and pecked each of their heads before settling in front of his daughter and son in law.

“Dad! So glad you could make it!” Brice flashed his megawatt grin, an eager glint in his baby blue eyes. Dan reached over to pat his shoulder as Zel rummaged in her purse for something.

“We have a very important announcement” she declared, laying an envelope on the table. The children looked at it curiously and Dan raised a brow.

He was quiet a minute before finally giving a resigned sigh.

“… when’s the due date this time?”

“Due date- oh my gosh Dad NO!” Zel hid her face in mortification, sinking into her seat.

Brice on the other hand hurriedly opened the letter and presented it to his Dad with a smile that lit up the entire building. Daniel blinked in suspicion and took the official looking document. Brice watched his father-in-law’s grey eyes slowly light up in realization as he read.

“… You were accepted into the Academy, Brice?”

“YES! Yes I was!” He burst out in excitement, barely able to contain the good news. Then abruptly his grin was followed by a hopeful puppy dog look up at Daniel “Are you proud of me?”

Dan immediately stood up and crossed over to give his son a tight hug.

“I’m proud… I’m always proud of you… you’ll be outstanding on the police force”

“Thank you” Brice held tight to the man, tasting the genuine Pride Daniel held for him. The only father he’d ever truly known, the human who made him WANT to be the best son in existence. “Thank you, I’ll always make you proud”

“Daddy’s gonna be a police lady? Like you, Mama?” Roy asked, attempting to read the letter. Marie was munching on a breadstick but looked up at the new information.

“… yeah…” Zel still had her face hidden in her hands at her dad’s assumption “Police MAN. After summer when Miles and the two of you start school”

Roy gasped in delight at the news and stood up to also hug his father and granddad, and Marie even abandoned her dinner roll to follow suit.

“I’m so happy for you, Daddy!” “You’ll be the bestest policeman ever!”

Miles squirmed in his high chair, wanting to get down and join them.

“S'no fair, why’s Daddy gets ta go to policeman school and I gotsta go pre-k??”

“Hush Miles” Zel kissed her youngest child and scooped him up to bring him over to join the group hug. She motioned to one of the staff and the waiter promptly snapped a photo.

This was a very proud day for the Andrews and had to be archived

~

Brice finally tucked in Miles and tiptoed out his room. He silently headed towards his own bedroom when the doorbell rang. Confused, he headed to the doorway and opened the door.

“Mary?” Brice blinked at the girl from next door. It was pretty late, what was she doing here?

“Hi Mr. Brice” the auburn haired high-schooler smiled politely “Miss Zel told me you’re going to be a policeman, congratulations!”

“Uh yeah” Brice gave a proud nod of head “Gonna be the best cop ever, so you’d better be following the law now that I’M on the case-”

“Mary! Thanks for coming on short notice!” Zel appeared at Brice’s side, applying a final coat of sparkly lip gloss

“The kids are all asleep. We’ll be back in a couple of hours at most. Thanks so much for doing this last minute.”

“Sure thing Miss Zel! And don’t worry, it’s no trouble at all!” Mary waved as Zel took Brice’s arm and lead him out.

“I didn’t know it was date night already, babe” Brice purred “Not that I’m COMPLAINING. We off to the movies or something?” He tried to remember if any new hero flicks were out- Zel loved going for midnight viewings. What a NERD.

He reached down to give Zel a playful squeeze. Zel bumped her hips to his in retaliation and took his hand to keep it from mischief.

“Actually babe I’m not taking you out on a date exactly…” She headed to her 'peasant wagon’ instead of the Corvette, so Brice knew something was up. He took the passenger side and looked at her for an explanation.

Zel took a breath from the driver’s side and then gripped his hand in both of hers.

“Brice. You’re going to learn a LOT at the academy. Laws and Citations, combat and defense. And also” she started to stroke his knuckles with her thumb “How to properly handle firearms.”

“You mean guns?” Brice instantly lost his relaxed smile and unintentionally tensed slightly in her hands.

“Yes. Among other things. But you cannot be part of the GVPD without receiving the correct training for using guns”

Brice looked straight ahead, even paler than usual “Right.”

“Right…” Zel echoed. “I thought we could get in some practice before you leave. Just you and me at the precinct. You wanna try that, my King?”

Brice gave a single nod. Zel let go of his hand and started the engine to get to Police Department.

A silent few minutes later they were standing outside the hall labeled 'Shooting Range’. It was late and no one was using the gallery so they had that area of the department to themselves.

Brice knew every inch of the GVPD by now except this place. He avoided coming in here since day one, so it was with wary hesitation that he stepped into the corrider. He let out the breath he held and followed Zel inside.

It wasn’t that terrible. Just lanes of individual ranges with targets at the end. Zel handed him a pair of goggles and noise reducing earbuds. He pulled them both on as Zel did the same. She went over to the rows of lockers, using both key and combination to open the gallery before bringing him the inevitable.

“Glock 22, standard issue. .40 caliber 9 mm.” She held it out the sleek gun to him, making sure to read his face for signs of discomfort. “It’s locked”

Brice tremulously reached for the pistol. He took it in his hands before immediately dropping it to the ground.

“S-sorry-”

“Shh, it’s ok” Zel left the glock to first hold Brice’s hand tightly “You’re doing fine.”

She retrieved the firearm and held it to him once again. Brice took a steady breath and this time he held on to the pistol.

“Good, that’s really good.” Zel rubbed his shoulders firmly “Try to relax your grip if you can or your hand will get tired.”

Brice took the handgun with both his hands to keep it from dropping again. He was still highly nervous but he could do this. He aimed it for all three points of the target, getting a feel of the little peashooter. It wasn’t an army musket but it had a similar sense.

“Excellent…” Zel murmured, continuing to rub him. “Do you want to try shooting?”

Brice was quiet a full minute before answering.

“Yeah… Yeah I can try.”

Zel smiled in encouragement “OK, let me show you how to unlock it”

Zel gently explained the mechanisms and now Brice was standing with the loaded gun pointed at the target-figure, cocked and ready to shoot. Now all that was left was to… pull the trigger…

“Whenever you’re ready, my love.” she spoke in her soothing tone “We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to”

Brice shook his head. He could do this, it was safe here. He HAD to do this if he wanted to be a cop.

He raised the weapon level to the range, aiming for the target.

A CRACK shattered through the air even with the ear buds and suddenly.

Suddenly he was in the dense tropical heat of Vietnam. The air thick with the smell of gunpowder and death. Climbing over the bodies of fallen comrades, Colonel Robert Pride crouched low in despair. Bullets and crossfire peppered the air, grenade smoke filling his lungs and suffocating him in the throes of a defeated battle, of a losing war…

“Brice, Brice, can you hear me??”

He immediately pulled down the civilian under him for cover- a woman?? In this war zone??

“Brice! Brice it’s ok-” she tried to coax him back into reality, massaging his shoulders and holding his medallion. Familiar touches, a familiar voice. His heart skipped a beat as she leaned up to kiss him, filling his senses with the taste of

Home.

“Zel?” Brice murmured, blinking back into the precinct. Zel just kept stroking his medal and caressing his shoulders. He picked her up and HELD her, memorizing her scent and sound and taste. He was alive, he was safe, he wasn’t in battle and he wasn’t being killed.

Zel held onto him until he let her go. “That… doesn’t ALWAYS happen” he said more to himself than her.

“It’s fine… it’s ok. You did wonderful but that’s enough for tonight, we’ll try again sometime” Zel comforted him. He nodded, still sweating and stood up to help her.

He let her pick up the gun while his eyes roved over to the target.

Dead center, all marks. Head, Heart and Waist.

“I wanna try again.” Brice injected, his vigor returning at his PERFECT marksmanship.

Zel was going to protest but her jaw dropped at the crackshots.

“Are you su-”

“Yes.” Future officer Brice Andrews took another deep breath and reached to take the gun again.

~

Two and a half months of practicing and studying and Brice Pride stood at the steps of the South Carolina Academy of Law Enforcement. Obviously Zel and the kids had come to see him off, as did Daniel, Francis, and Britton.

Well he was a King, and he deserved a Royal send-off anyway.

“Six-week intensive, followed by twelve week field work” Zel murmured aloud. Daniel patted her shoulder.

“I made you all your favorites, Brice!” Britton smiled, handing him a picnic basket the size of China “Oh honey, you’ll be an excellent police officer!” he threw his arms around him in a hug. Brice only half grimaced and patted the Gay™ back.

“Yeah, thanks Britt” he let go of him as quickly as he could. Francis came next.

“So Brice, now that you’re gonna be gone a month and a half, you probably want me to handle Zel’s needs, right?” the blond teased, putting an arm around him. Brice shoved him away.

“Not on yer life” he huffed. Zel gave Francis a look that could KILL and Francis laughed.

“I kid, I kid.” he ruffled Brice’s hair “Take care, bro.”

Daniel was never one for words, he just adjusted Brice’s collar and fixed his crown. Brice knew he thought the world of him despite his silence. It was just the relationship they had. He beamed at Daniel and gave his father in law a sincere smile before the kids jumped on him.

Miles took Brice’s leg.

“Daddy, can I have yer bike until you come back? I’ll take good care of it!” Miles asked eagerly. Brice had to keep from rolling his eyes.

“When yer older, Miles.” he leaned down to hug him “I’ll miss you, be good to Mama ok? Be the good, charming, polite kiddo you usually are.”

Miles inhaled the compliments and beamed. “Just like you?”

“Just like me” Brice ruffled his hair. Miles happily gave him a hug then took off to climb onto Daniel.

Roy stepped forward to take Brice’s hand.

“Daddy” he learned over to put a kissy on Brice’s cheek. He was trying his best but Brice could see tiny tears drops at the corners of his bright blue eyes. Brice lifted up his tiny prince, his eldest heir.

“Roy” he nuzzled the boy’s face “Yer the man of the house while I’m gone.”

Miles pouted in protest but Brice was busy just looking at his perfection of a son. “I know you’ll be the best helper ever. You’re a smart and strong and you’ll take care of the family. I know you will”

Roy sniffled but smiled, hugging his father. Brice smoothed out his hair then looked at Marie.

She was bawling into Zel’s knee.

Brice immediately scooped her up.

“Aw, Princess.” He cradled his little girl in his arms.

“I’m not - crying s'just- allergies” she spoke through her tiny sobs, clinging to Brice. “Daddy… Daddy I don’t want you to go!”

“Shh, shh Cupcake” Brice rocked her gently, stroking her back “Daddy will come back soon I promise! And besides big, strong, Kindergarten girls don’t get allergies!” his hand reached to tickle up her tummy.

Roy quickly assessed the situation and went up to his sister

“Marie look! I have a lollipop!” he held out a piece of candy for her. Marie was torn between clinging to Brice forever and the tempting sweet.

“Go on Marie” Brice nudged her to Roy. The pinkette finally released her father and went over to Roy, but her eyes stayed fixed on Brice. Brice gave her a thumbs up and she managed to smile, still holding onto Roy.

Francis’s dad-instinct prompted him to take the two children’s shoulders while Britton looked for more candy to satiate them. Brice finally turned to his Queen.

Zel took Brice’s shoulders “We’ll come visit you every weekend. It’ll pass quick and you’ll be home sooner than you know.”

Brice’s hands dropped to her waist, embracing her. “Take care of the kiddos… don’t miss me TOO much”

Zel grinned “But how am I ever going to survive without these” she groped his solid biceps. Brice automatically flexed into her grip.

“Mm patience, Princess” he leaned over to whisper “They’re all yours”

She murmured into his ear “They’ll probably get even bigger… Just work hard Brice. Study and stay focused” she broke away to look at him “I love you so much”

His heart ached at the words and the separation but he smiled for her.

“I love you too.” He gave her one final kiss and stepped back up to the building.

“Bye Daddy!!” The kids called out to him. Brice waved at his family then turned to enter the ornate doors.

He was greeted by a gaggle of teenaged recruits, smug cadets, and the smell of freshly fried donuts. He cleared his throat and made his way to the assembly hall as he was instructed.

“Oy!” a burly guy barely out of his teens took the seat next to Brice “I’m Aaron Jameson, star quarterback of the Greenville high Bar-ba-loots! Or I WAS till graduation anyway” he swaggered, offering Brice a beefy hand to shake. “Haven’t seen you around before, you from Seaspear or something?

Brice clenched his jaw. This was gonna be a LONG six weeks

~ Brice stood proud and tall on stage with the rest of his class. It had been a GRUELING four months but now here he was, standing in the chilly November wind at his graduation ceremony. He was FINALLY receiving the badge he’d worked so hard for.

"Psst. Andrews” Aaron whispered to him “Where’s the hot Mrs. you never shut up about? I don’t see any tens in the crowd.”

“Yer looking the wrong way, genius” Brice retorted back, motioning to the Esteemed senior officers in a row to the side. He caught Captain Zel Andrews in full regalia, chevrons and stars shining on her uniform as she watched the new recruits line up.

Aaron looked at the wedding band matched exactly to Brice’s and his jaw dropped.

“Told you she was real” Brice smirked.

“Brice Pride Andrews.” The supervising officer called out his name. Brice immediately dropped the grin to seriously walk on stage to Chief of Police Mulvaney.

“Raise your hand, Trooper”

Brice raised his hand, and placed another over his heart and iterated the words he’d been saying to himself every night

“As a Law Enforcement Officer, my fundamental duty is to serve mankind; to safeguard lives and property; to protect the innocent against deception, the weak against oppression or intimidation, and the peaceful against violence or disorder; and to respect the Constitutional rights of all men to liberty, equality and justice.”

“I will keep my private life unsullied as an example to all; maintain courageous calm in the face of danger, scorn, or ridicule; develop self-restraint; and be constantly mindful of the welfare of others. Honest in thought and deed in both my personal and official life, I will be exemplary in obeying the laws of the land and the regulations of my department. Whatever I see or hear of a confidential nature or that is confided to me in my official capacity will be kept ever secret unless revelation is necessary in the performance of my duty.”

“I will never act officiously or permit personal feelings, prejudices, animosities, or friendships to influence my decisions. With no compromise for crime and with relentless prosecution of criminals, I will enforce the law courteously and appropriately without fear or favor, malice or ill will, never employing unnecessary force or violence and never accepting gratuities.”

“I recognize the badge of my office as a symbol of public faith, and I accept it as a public trust to be held so long as I am true to the ethics of the police service. I will constantly strive to achieve these objectives and ideals, dedicating myself before God to my chosen profession…law enforcement”

He let out a breath and looked up at the Chief.

“Step forward, Trooper” Chief Mulvaney took a shining badge and pinned it over Brice’s beating heart. “Welcome to the force, Officer Brice Andrews”

“Thank you, sir!” He beamed at Zel’s boss before taking his seat, giving an encouraging thumbs up to Aaron and waiting for the rest of his class to receive their badges.

Roy was the first to run up to his Daddy after the ceremony.

“Daddy!! Daddy, you got your badge! It looks beautiful! I’m so happy!!” Roy was a sunbeam, radiating absolute Pride for his father’s achievement. “You’re gonna be the best Police man ever!”

Brice scooped up his baby boy and spun him around happily as Daniel came up to them, holding Marie and Miles hands. He let the children latch into their father before taking Brice’s shoulder.

He had taken off his glasses and was dabbing at his eyes so Brice was pretty sure Dan was happy too. He gave him a one armed hug then looked around.

“Where’s Zel? She was up here a minute ago?”

Daniel shrugged, not trusting himself to speak. Brice passed Roy over to his grandfather to look for Zel amidst the uniformed high ranking officers.

But Zel was no where to be seen. He blinked, wondering where she could have gone when he managed to track a peppermint essence.

His legs immediately followed the trail to a secluded area behind stage.

“Zel?”

She was there hidden in the semi darkness, face in her hands and obviously bawling into them. Brice couldn’t help but smirk.

“Don’t get gay on me, Captain” he knew that was sincere joy flowing from her eyes. Laughing he lifted her up in the air.

“Cmon, babe show me yer smile” he attempted to pry her hands off. “I know it’s there somewhere”

Zel mumbled something about allergies and Brice decided to leave her be. Taking her head he rested it against him. She immediately took refuge in his neck.

“Brice I’m so proud- so SO proud” she sobbed “This is all I’ve - ever wanted”

“Shh, shh” he stroked her hair “I told you I’d fulfill all your dreams, didn’t I?”

He lifted her chin to gaze straight into her soul “I love you”

Zel’s legs gripped onto him and she pulled him in for a passionate kiss. “I love you too”

They held each other, drinking in the kisses like oxygen before they were interrupted.

“GWOSS!” Miles bleched “I found Mama and Daddy, they’re over here KISSING”

Brice made an extra loud 'MWAH’ before smacking his lips and winking at Miles. The toddler covered his eyes in disgust.

Brice let down Zel and walked back into the crowd, Miles tagging along behind them. Zel was quickly doing that thing with makeup that made it look like she wasn’t just crying her eyes out two seconds ago.

“Miles, could you please take a picture of Mama and Daddy please?” she asked the boy, handing him her phone.

“Can I take a picture of me after? I’m looking real handsome, everyone says so.”

“Sure, darling” she pinched her baby’s cheeks and went to stand behind Brice.

“Smile, officer” Zel murmured, pressing into his back and holding him.

“Anything you wish, Cap” Brice looked at the camera with his best fangy smile.

“Cheese!”

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Hmmm... Ray Palmer, Cisco Ramon, and Shiro for the character meme!

Nice! A Good selection. (I’m definitely taking out the hotness level thing, though. I’ve got no aesthetic opinions on any of them.) 

Ray:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life tbh, I am very deeply fond of Ray (although in an “I love you as a person” way more than a “you’re an interesting character” way- Ray has depth but he’s not especially intriguing)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff | I could see him as anything but Slytherin, really. He’s a nerd who values bravery but is also intensely loyal. best quality: He’s a Star Wars and Star Trek fan. He’s just so Good? He wants to help everyone and for everyone to be happy and he kept on trying to be a hero even when he felt he wasn’t one.worst quality: He can be stubborn and tends to rush into things without thinking, and also could we maybe stop with all the ableist remarks about Mick? Ray, buddy, you’re autistic, you should know even better than the others how Not Cool that is.ship them with: brotp them with: literally the entire crew of the Waverider, but especially Martin, Nate and Mickneeds to stay away from: I’m really glad there’s not a love triangle between him and Amaya and Nate? (Well, not one centred on Amaya…) On a more literal note, Vandal Savage and all of those Russian folks who beat him up. Pretty much anyone who wants to do him harm, tbh. Protect the nerd.misc. thoughts: Every time I think I can’t love him any more, he does something even more dorky and lovable and I’m proved wrong. The full plate armour and the lightsaber sword?? Incredible. Those clay dolls of the Waverider crew?? Adorable.

Cisco:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: He doubted himself for so long, but he’s been so brave and strong and really kind of wonderful for a while now and I’m so proud of him.worst quality: He can be a bit overly nasty to people in the name of vengeance- turning someone’s hearing aids into torture devices is Not Cool, dude. Stick to the rickrolling, it’s a much better alternative.ship them with: happiness (if that means Cindy/Cynthia/whatever her actual name turns out to be, then I’m behind it in principle)brotp them with: Barry, Caitlin, Harry, Jesse, Joe, Eddie, Eobard but only in very specific circumstances and/or AUsneeds to stay away from: Look. I would pay money to see him kick Eobard’s ass with his Vibe powers. But Cisco does not need Eobard Thawne back in his life in the slightest.misc. thoughts: A Good Nerd and an even better hero, and I love the Vibe gear so much. I can’t wait to see him explore even more of his powers.

Shiro:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: He’s just so good with the rest of the team? What an A+ team leader and big bro, especially to Pidge and Keith.worst quality: Hmm. You know, I can’t actually think of one? Maybe the fact that he keeps fckign disappearing as a plot twist and it stresses me out?ship them with: some peace and quiet for once, ffs let the space dad restbrotp them with: all of Team Voltron (including Allura and Coran), especially Pidge, also Matt and Pidge’s dadneeds to stay away from: Zarkon, and also any situations that might do him (additional) harmmisc. thoughts: everyone calls him Space Dad and I can see why, but really he comes off to me as more of a big brother? Maybe it’s because I’m an eldest sibling myself, but there’s a difference between Team Dad and Resident Big Brother and I think Shiro falls more under the latter.

Send me characters!

[ryanmeft]

Series that need to come to the Nintendo Switch...and how to update them

Yesterday, I finally got around to reading an actual full-length article about The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and I was shocked to find out the hype seems mostly true: Nintendo really is taking one of their most venerated franchises and completely altering the way it is played. It sounds exciting. It sounds revelatory if, like me, you are a long-time super-fan of Zelda.

And I'm still not getting a Switch to play it.

Why? Because Nintendo keeps trying to claim they have changed while practicing the same bad behaviours and including the same feature mistakes they made with their last two consoles. Low memory capacity, outdated tech and, perhaps most gallingly, artificial scarcity designed to drive up demand combines into a system I don't feel right supporting just yet. Apparently, nothing short of the skies opening up and one or more deities proclaiming they need to change their ways will cause Nintendo to enter the 21st century in terms of hardware, features and usability.

However, the people making the games seem able to listen. So here are six of the franchises I think the Switch most needs, and some light ideas on how they can be updated, like Breath of the Wild, to remain relevant. If you want to hear more, shoot me a comment or share the piece!

MARIO KART

Mario Kart is a blast. The 8th game was a highlight of the Wii U, and the Switch is already getting a superior upgraded version. It's also stale. If you took 8's exact mechanics, removed the Nintendo connections that give fans the warm 'n' fuzzies, and stuck it on Xbox One or PS4 to compete with the wider world of colorful multiplayer, it wouldn't stand out nearly as much as it does on Nintendo's systems. A Switch version could bring in the wider world of Nintendo (something 8 pokes a little at), and even better, could introduce character-specific special weapons, or enable quick-witted players to activate elements of the course manually and turn them against opponents. It is also a chance to re-think the available modes: if Kart has a consistent weakness, it is that everything outside of the main racing mode usually gets pretty boring, pretty quick. If Nintendo really wants to make an entry that will suck people in, take the impressive level of course customization from the defunct Excitebike series and mix it in.

KIRBY

I was asking someone the other day about a Kirby game for the 3DS, and they said "At least it's a real Kirby game". By that, they meant it is in the vein of Kirby's Adventure, the NES game that originally gave the pink puffball the power to absorb enemy abilities. That's one of my favorite games, but the person I was talking to was dead wrong: some of Kirby's most interesting efforts, like the Wii's Epic Yarn and the DS's Canvas Curse, have broken his fluffy pink mold. The switch offers a golden opportunity to do the same. By all means, keep the power absorption people love, but change it up a bit. Imagine a multi-player Kirby game with everyone scrambling to steal everyone else's abilities. Or take the Inhaling One full 3D for the first time in nearly two decades, and give him a Mario-style open-world where the powers he steals are actually useful for uncovering secrets and fighting tough enemies. Kirby is one of the Big N's most flexible characters, and Switch is an opportunity for him to flex his creativity.

ANIMAL CROSSING

Most of the reason AC has continued to be successful is that it only releases one to a system; the actual gameplay hasn't evolved that much in the 15 years of the series' existence. I know from experience that kids find much to get hooked on, and adults like playing with kids, but the features are too limited to sustain grown-up interest in the long haul. Some ways a Switch version could fix this include: unique options for online play, bigger and more customizable towns (and maybe even cities), less of a focus on gathering stuff to sell to pay off enormous debts, and some actual structured goals. That last one may sound like anathema to AC's open-ended structure, but optional "quests" like going with a friend into the woods to camp that take you outside the confines of your town would make it feel like an actual world you're really living in. One big want: the ability to design your own house. In an age where people can build anything they want in any number of games, picking from pre-fab elements just seems a tad outdated.

METROID

Oh, lamentations of the fanbase! In darkest Zebian night, we face The possibility Nintendo ne'er will embrace The depth of our love for thee. All poetry aside, seriously, Nintendo. Get on this. You want to convince dedicated gamers you're serious about making products that are more than just toys for kids? Bringing back Metroid in a big way is like printing that particular money. Start by learning what other developers are actually doing with the sci-fi action genre, because frankly it is high time you got out of your Nintenbubble and learned there are other games. That thing you did on 3DS was just embarrassing, like a dog going #2 in the wrong place, and fans don't think you respect everyone's favorite intergalactic bounty hunter anymore. Prove them wrong. Give us a galaxy with multiple smaller planets to explore, a compelling story, and new ideas for classic weapons. Shake it up: start us off as an unfamiliar character whose mission is to track down Samus after she disappears in deep space. The last time we saw her was in the thoroughly humiliating Other M. Do you really want that to be the last word? P.S. If you were to simultaneously announce a new classic-style Metroid for the 3DS, you'd have to catch the dollars as they shot from the pockets of millions of nerds.

BALLOON FIGHT

Not kidding! Not a joke. Balloon Fight is only one example of the now largely forgotten arcade-style games Nintendo released in the early days of the NES. There's also Ice Climbers, Wrecking Crew, and a slew of others, including the original Mario Bros. If there's one thing Nintendo consoles thrive on, it is colorful local multiplayer, something the other two consoles are starting to pick up on. Nintendo can't rely on simple reiterations of Mario Kart and Smash Bros. to remain king of this world. Imagine if you took these long-forgotten concepts and updated them to the modern day? Swap Nintendo's iconic characters in for the generic ones, and you're getting there. I can honestly picture Link and Luigi tied to balloons, frantically battling one another to get close enough to send the other plunging while dodging monsters. Or Mario's power-ups competing against Samus's weaponry to see who can most thoroughly destroy a building. None of these alone would make a worthwhile standalone game, but if people actually consider Wii Sports worth bothering with, I can see them going ape over a mini-game focused collection that's worth playing.

Want to hear some more ideas for how Nintendo can update some classic and forgotten properties for the Switch? Share this post or leave a comment.