#BISH PLS I FUCKING DIED

[eternalera]

okay okay okay (this is lowkey review for me bc i got iliad stuff to do once i get back to school :>)

so basically here are some points leading up to it bc in the iliad we dont actually get his death bc the iliad wasnt really about the whole 'achilles gets yoinked in the heel thing' and more about the loss that came with war (in my opinion).

so basically achilles kinda almost avoided the whole 'getting shot in the heel thing' this is mostly because agamemnon (we hate him here <3) threw a pissy fit because he had to give up his war prize (something that resembled honor and yes this is a VERY prominent thing because back then honor was basically all you had after your death because they didnt really have a writing system to tell your story i mean they did but like yknow, it was one vases and shit im pretty sure)

so achilles is like 'you gotta give back your war prize or else apollo is gonna get pissed at us because you dishonored him' and agamemnon is like 'fine but im taking yours' and achilles is like 'this bish-'

so then he leaves the war and refuses to fight unless agamemnon basically pleads at his feet for him to join back into the war. so basically one two skip a few and enter in patroclus achilles' totally no-homo-tentmate-best-buddy-friend-heterolifepartner nothing ever happened yep mhm totally

so basically achilles sends him out because he sees a warrior get injured (machaon who is a medic kinda important but eh) and hes like 'go see who that is before i grieve for them please, gotta make sure its someone of importance' (yes hes a bitch)

then patroclus is like 'alr sure whatever you say' anyways once he gets there nestors like 'yknow how nice of achilles to get sad when someone he likes gets hurt, BUT HE COULD PREVENT IT IF HE WOULD GET HIS ASS OUT HERE. so could you tell him to do that pls? and if not cant you at least wear his armor and get out here' and patroclus is like ' , :D i can sure try' and anyways he sees someone getting injured and actually helps him (UNLIKE HIS SHITTY ASS BF)

anyways he gets back and is like 'you actually fucking suck wtf man everyones dying everyones injured' and hes crying and shit and achilles is just mocking him until he realizes that its serious and then patroclus is like 'if you wont fight can i go out in your armor and yknow act like you to scare them off?'

achilles is then like 'YESS WIN ME GLORRYYYYY, and also dont go far from the ships and dont seize glory and dont die pls :>'

patroclus is like 'sir yes sir'

then he fucking DIES!!

anyways achilles manages to cry so damn loudly that the sea nymphs BELOW THE EARTH could hear him and started to get sad. thetis (his mother) then goes up and is like 'whats wrong'

then achilles is like 'my totally non-homo-heterolifepartner died mother theres nothing left to live for. i shall fight :(' then thetis mourns for her son and gets hephaestus to make him some armor

anyways then achilles does a bunch of shit, fights a river, the usual when mourning yknow? and then FINALLY he kills hector (aka the one who killed patroclus) and drags his body around troy three times (he has truama)

and then yeah stuff happens hector gets returned but ANYWAYS

hector was apollos favorite so when he saw achilles dishonoring him he's like 'well fuck THAT guy' and then he goes down to paris (hectors femboy practically useless flamboyant brother but we love him for that) and is like

'yo since that guy kinda killed your brother you wanna help me kill him :>'

and then paris is like 'FUCK YEAHHHH'

anyways apollos rigs paris' arrow to basically hit achilles' heel his one vulnerable spot

everything else is invincible or smth bc thetis (omg its her again) dipper him in the river styx to make him invincible but held him by his heel for some reason?? (she totally couldve just also dipped the heel but sure) and so yeah the arrow kills him or smth!?

people think that it left achilles disabled like unable to walk and then paris stabbed him or smth because as you can imagine a hit to the heel isnt exactly fatal.

oh yeah its also thought that paris shot the arrow on his own without apollos help or that apollo just shot the arrow at achilles and paris took the credit or didnt have anything to do with it

yeah so basically thats achilles' death

he totally couldve avoided it too bc he had two destinies and shit so yeah :)

Pup!!!! Hi how are you :D

good :DDDD

hru?

[belle-keys]

a stupid, unnecessary thread of me reacting to The Great season 2 because I'm a hoe for this show

THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE LIKE THEY REALLY DO WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER BUT *I CAN'T* LIKE GIVE THE SCREENWRITERS AN AWARD

"I'd fuck your dead body for days, I hope you know that."

GIVE NICHOLAS AND ELLE AWARDS RIGHT NOW TOO PLEASE FOR THEIR LINE DELIVERY

I want Peter to die a humiliating death but also... sometimes not. Just sometimes.

"The more you toy with me the harder my cock gets. There are softer oak trees." I REALLY WANNA KILL HIM BUT THIS IS SO FUNNY I CAN'T

WHY IS VOLTAIRE BEING SUCH A HOE??? LMFAOOO (I hate how believable it is too, that the Voltaire himself was hoeing around Europe whilst... enlightening it.)

did she ask him if he’s muslim!?!?!??

OH YAYYYY FREEDOM OF RELIGION

omg Peter’s coronation speech was so 🥺🥺🥺

would you kill a dude if he called you dickhead?? idk kinda seems semi-reasonable in certain contexts tbh

seeing Peter get the shit beat out of him was pure therapy idc

“I am fucking charm itself” BRUH I’VE SAID THIS IN PUBLIC ALREADY DEADASS

"The cold blue of her eyes made me shiver in a sexual way I have not known" PETER PLS STOP BEING A SUB ON MAIN

"I find power imbalances wildly erotic. I suppose I'm old-fashioned that way." MEEEEEEEEEEE

“There’s a dragon at court.” “There’s an idiot too and I’m looking at it.” I LOVE VELEMENTOV MAN

Peter is full of so much shit but why do I feel like he’ll be the best dad and house husband in the world

NO CUS WHY IS PETER SUCH A MALEWIFE LIKE-

GDHSJSJSHHS GOD I HATE HOW IM SHIPPING THIS SHIP

“CLITTY BITTY” DAMN IT LIKE GIVE THIS SHOW A DAMN PULITZER WILL YOU

"Let's put that 'heir to the throne' shit to bed" Peter you're undoing your damn redemption and I'm gonna hurt you for this speech.

THEY KILLED THE OLD WOMAN NOOOO IM NOT OKAY THIS IS NOT OKAY I WANT CATHERINE TO HAVE ALL THESE BITCHES PUNISHED

IM GENUINELY HURT AND TRAUMATIZED BY THIS LIKE NOOOO I WANT THESE NOBLEWOMEN HURT

nooooo Catherine don't hug Peter he's a son of a bitchhhhhhhhh

YESSSSS MARIAL SHOOT THAT BITCH IN THE HEADDDDDD DASS RIGHT I LOVE MY BISH MARIAL

ayoooo Gillian Anderson?! Noice

okay I've forgiven Peter again (kinda) AND THE WAY HE TOLD HER MOMMA HE LOVED HER?!?!?!?!

"oh she LIKES my fucking tongue" I CLAPPED LIKE YES IT LANDED IT LANDED I TELL YOU

elle fanning has got to be the prettiest crier I've ever seen omg like she looks like a tormented, weeping deity that you want to save and pitch back up into the heavens in a very British Isles way

now why do I sound like Peter here

one may kill Gillian Anderson? with the nut of pea? holy-

oh wait she's alive!!!

awwwww the solar system that's really cute he really wants to be a dad omg :'(((

NO CUS HIS REDEMPTION ARC IS THE BESTEST OMG I WANNA SOB

did this hoe ass Joanne SLAP HER PREGNANT DAUGHTER WHILE PREACHING ABOUT SAID DAUGHTER'S SAFETY?!,!!?!?!,!

WHY ARE THEY HAVING SEX NOOO PETER THIS ISN'T PART OF THE DAMN PLAN YOU LOST THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE

yo dis bitch deddd... HAHAHAHAHAHA

THAT WAS HILARIOUS THO

well well well… if it isn’t one lf my first curshes ever and top 10 blond dilfs, Freddie Fox. We meet again you sexy son of a bitch.

“A Hail Mary and a handjob” yo isn't that the entire history of that one churchy place inside Italy (you know where)

ANHHH THEY’RE BEING SEXY BUT SHE’S GONNA FIND OUT HE SCREWED HER MOTHER ALSO WHY IS HE KINDA HOT LIKE EVEN MY CAT STOPPED BITING ME TO WATCH THIS SCENE

I blame Skins for every single problem I have ever had in life

yooooooo this scene- imma head out like i feel like i’m INTRUDING this is so shshdhdjjsjaja

YESSSS SHE LEARNS THE TRUTH!!!

Okay but the emotions man- Catherine is like, overloaded at this point :(

AND OF COURSE IT'S RESIDENT BLOND BRITISH DILF OF MY CHILDHOOD FREDDIE FOX THE FAKE SWEDE WHO CHANGES THE GAME DASS RIGHT LET'S RETAKE SWEDEN SEGGSY

"You fucked my mother x5" damn

SHE STABBED THE DOUBLE

wait... so all is good??? Peter doesn't look mad so- he's kinda tender rn actually :')

bruh

WELL MY HOES, 10/10, DID NOT DISAPPOINT

[beclynn-herondale]

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 2/3

Clary: Dear diary, I ran away with Jace, mom won't be happy, but I have to save my Jace. Simon is covering for me, although that won't last long and mom may go mama bear on him, I do love him though and I'll owe him one. So far things have been weird, seeing Jace get along with Sebastian is strange and I don't like it, and Sebastian is as evil as ever, i miss Jace so much, this Jace isn't my Jace. And Sebastian doesn't trust me I know this for a fact, but I don't trust him either and you better watch your back Sebastian.

*Later*

So Jace's room is the same as it always is, so clean not a mess, everything is neat, but he isn't Jace. We went on a date, Sebastian let us cause Jace would be with me, Jace cam speak italian and hates ducks, I'll have to mention this stuff when he is my Jace again, we stole a boat but that's nothing new from what we usually do, the date was nice but I felt guilty for enjoying it, when we came back Sebastian was occupied and creepy, anyway, we had a talk when I woke up later and he is starting to confuse me, but that's what he wants. I went back to bed and got up again, also Jace can make eggs, I don't like them but can't tell him that, also I wonder if he can cook other things, need to make a list of things to ask him when he's back to normal Jace. We also read a copy of his ancestor's book.

*Later later*

Me, Jace and Sebastian, went on a mission kind of thing, Simon calls us team Evil, we fought a demon, and I actually kicked a demons butt, Sebastian took us to a kinda night club, me and Jace got high, Sebastian told me I have a dark heart and like bitch whatever. Me and Jace made out in the club and uh things kinda got outta control, I am not proud, ok, I thought I saw dead people and passed out, I woke up to Sebastian leaving and followed him, demons almost killed me and he saved me, what is he doing? I lost my ring and can't get in contact with Simon, everything is bad and maybe this is all hopeless, no, I just need coffee, sweet sweet coffee, I need a coffee high *coffee/knife/serious emoji*

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, things are good, Sebastian keeps giving me weird looks when I am with Clary though, Sebastian we are still cool though don't worry. Clary is here and it's nice, I want her to be happy and her to have whatever she wants, I am gonna be so romantic but cool about *sunglasses emoji* I am Jace Lightwood, and extremely smooth and she loves me.

*Later*

I took Clary on a date and I nailed it *sunglasses emoji* we went back home after that and I read to her and we went to sleep, after that we went on a mission, my fire goddess kicked ass, and Sebastian took us to a night club place to take care of evil stuff, me and Clary got high and we did some things at the night club. In the morning I made her eggs, I'll make her eggs all the time, Sebastian wants to discuss evil plans now.

Trapped Jace: *sharpening knives* just wait you little shit, keep looking at Clary like that and I'll stab you, I am gonna beat you up, you shall know my wrath, and I will bring it upon you. *Knife/murderous emoji*

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, what can I say, the fruit of evil is ripe, I have evil plans, I have Jace under my finger, I have Clary now too, and soon she'll understand. Jace will do anything I say and Clary will do anything for him, love truly does make one weak. And I wi burn shit. Also maybe I'll play with stuff as well. *Devil emoji*

*Later*

We got into a fight and Clary can kick ass, maybe I underestimated her a tiny little bit. We went to a night club and I talk to Meliorn and I do believe the fair folk will stand with me, and after all I do have something with the queen, and I know what you are going to say what about Jace? Well you see Jace is my backup plan he has no idea ;)

Alec: Dear diary, still sneaking around, Jace is still gone, Clary is gone now too, Jocelyn is angry and I know why she scares Jace now, Izzy and Simon are something, Idk but my big brother instincts are kicking in. Jocelyn and Izzy went to the Iron Sisters and found out there isn't a weapon to separate Jace from Sebastian, unless it is of heaven itself or something. *Shrug emoji*

*Later* so we summoned a demon, and then a greater demon, what have we become? I'll do whatever it takes to save Jace, but like when did we start summoning demons and greater demons like it's not a big deal? I think we've lost our minds, and we are also now apparently going to summon Raziel, what are we doing, but it's for Jace. Also Magnus does look good in his outfit today but there is stuff between us. When did life get so complicated? *shrug emoji*

Magnus: Dear diary, welcome back to the crazy chaotic would of Shadowhunters, I may have lost Clary, but it's not my fault she can make portals, I see an angry Jocelyn in my future. Alec is kinda weird lately but it's probably nothing, Isabelle and Jocelyn were going to the Iron Sisters to see if there is a weapon that can separate Jace and Sebastian, blondie needs to come back so all this Shadowhunter drama will calm down.

*Later*

We summoned a demon and after that we summoned the greater demon Azazel, the little shit almost told Alec who my father is, and I swear what have I gotten myself into? Oh! Also apparently we are gonna summon an Angel now, I have a feeling we'll all be dead by the end of this, it's a miracle we haven't died already, I have to do research and stuff, also Sheldon saved my cat so I am thankful for that, Isabelle and Simon have something going on, Jocelyn is gone, and I want to drink and drink, cause Magnus is done bitches. But also Alec is looking beautiful today. *throws glitter* *sunglasses emoji*

Izzy: Dear diary, Simon came to me like I asked him to, and he told me about starwars or something, I don't remember the plot exactly but I think they had something called lifesavers???? Or something, also they are apparently in space which is cool, and the good guys win. Also me and Jocelyn went to the Iron Sisters and they said I would make a good one but like bish ya girl needs her heels, idk what has gotten into me lately, but when I think about Simon I feel happy and I get this feeling and I want to spend time with him and hear him talk endlessly about starwars cause he is so passionate about it. *Confused emoji*

*Later*

We may have kinda summoned a demon, and then a greater demon, and now we may kinda be getting ready to summon an angel we are on our way to Luke's farm so yeah. . . But yeah, Simon may die and idk what to do... *Blank emoji*

Simon: Dear diary, life just doesn't seem to be letting up, first Clary ran off to do reckless shit, Jace is literally possessed by her evil Brother and is like a puppet, Jocelyn is mad I didn't stop Clary, but honestly who can stop Clary?!?! — Izzy went off to the Iron sister earlier with Jocelyn before she found out Clary was gone and apparently they can't make a weapon to separate Jace and Sebastian without killing them both, this is the part where that intense action yet hopeless music would start playing. *Nerd emoji*

*Later* I told Izzy the plot of Starwars and she listened and laughed and said it was neat, she said It was neat and even though it is so much more than neat for some reason her just listening to me talk about it made me so happy, she may become a fan *Shooketh emoji* but also we summoned a demon, and then a greater demon and now we are going to summon an angel to try and get the angel Michael's sword called glorious cause it's apparently the only weapon that will work, but I may die so rip, but also please let everything be alright but also I do have the mark of cain it's just a matter of if it works. *Worried emoji*

Church: Dear Cat diary, I come to you with the heavy weight of the most fucking done I have ever been, Jem is still hasn't come and saved me, Herondale is still possessed and honestly I am done, fire ball ran away, archer boy is off doing shit, Izzy is falling in love now too and I thought she would be the one who wouldn't like girl love drama? And Simon is probably contributing to whatever chaotic plan fire ball has. evil shit is probably off doing evil shit, where's that sweet little boy? Gone! Because an ass had to be an ass. Sorry I need to control my emotions, I just miss Jem so much, and these kids are driving me crazy, also Magnus you are contributing as well now,Jem Jem Jem pls. Anyway I am gonna go sharpen my claws and eat tuna and drown my sorrows in tuna. *Cat/tuna/murderous emoji*

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @megs-readstoomuch @spotsandclawsthings @magnus-the-maqnificent @replayfootsteps @sarcasticmalecfan @simply-ellas-stuff @my-archerboy

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x7 Thoughts While Watching

SPOILER ALERT!

I’m gonna cut down on how much I actually because I’m starting to find myself not enjoying the show as much. ANYWAY here we go:

Yo what’s up with the intro-

GIRL WHAT MAKES YALL THINK STAYING IN THE MURDER ROOM IS A GOOD IDEA- AND YOURE TAKING THE PHONE WHO TF

DUDE I HATE THE TWO MEAN GIRLS THEYRE SO UGH BITCH JEN IS DEAD. “LeT hEr OuT” SHE’S GONE

Ooh investigator Nancy! Oh, investigator Nancy... organizing files. Yay. Hole punching...

CARSON DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THE AGLACEA OMFG “wait- what?!”

CHRIST ODETTE WTF- George really said be gone thot! Nick is so concerned. AW BESS KNOWS NICKS COFFEE ORDER, BFFS! He knows, HE KNOWS!!

Nancy is like wtf are these girls doing here, how did they find me. She has disappointed big sister energy

The towels omg “it’s a little embarrassing.” Ace is so chill. AMANDA- HES so nervous omg wait. IS NANCY JEALOUS??? There’s no way ace isn’t crushing on Amanda omfg that was so cute he was so nervous awe

Nick and Ryan are hanging!!! Omg no they’re not they are not vibing rn. Ryan actually looking into the fam is lowkey impressive. Nick panicking rn “just trust me a little while longer pls” HIS VPICE THERE WOO

“It’s like downtown abbey” does this imply that ace watches that- ACE BABYSITTING!!! ACE IS BABYSITTING AYE DONT OFFEND MY MAN (lol baby white boy smile) “he watches downtown abbey” sent me

NOT THE NICK/GEORGE ARGUMENT “your eye bags could carry groceries” odette go away ma’am. Your time here is done bye bye

“Gimme a dollar, to engage my services” PSH PLS SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIENDS! Caryan vibez <3 (satire, I ship them as a joke, but they’re co-parenting for sure) (Ryan flipping through his wallet pls) MY MAN CARSON GOING FOR THE FITTYS “btw that’s why my father is so... messed up.” espionage ryan! NO HES SO CONCERNED FOR NANCY OK DADDY RYAN! WAIT THAT CAME OUT WRONG

george is the voice of reason here omg “ghosts can’t be your go to.” YES LOGIC! OH RICH GIRL BESS COME THRU!

Sleuth sisters are my dream crew

Ace is failing at babysitting. “Help me” NICK AND ACE BRO-PARENTING COLLEGE GIRLS OMFG

creepy mini elevator- dumb waiter my bad. My hero girls! Pls the basement is scary. Sleuth sisters! I’m calling them that now. BLOOD

SERIAL KILLER I TOLD YALL I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! A WHITE MAN, NO! (Y’all see what I did there, yk where that’s from) Jk but men are pretty scary sometimes-

GHOST SCAM! Genius dude. lol heyyy Amanda remember that time we saved you??? “A thief not a hacker” I KNKW A HACKER

“You don’t cook pancakes in the oven, who raised you-“ SMOKE ALARM! “ACE pls don’t go, pls” STOP THE BRO-PARENTING FAILURE PLS-

AM I WATCHING THEM FALL IN LOVE RN SPAIN NO S FRICK THATS MY MAN YALL IM CRYING.

THATS GEORGE OMFG WHAT THE FUCK GIRL WHAT oh she’s gonna have to tell them abt odette

George has voodoo powers or something I swear. “You did an exorcism without me?” I LOVE BESS’ GREEN SHIRT ONG ITS SO CUTE. “Odette can you hear us!?”

OH NO NICK IS GONNA GET DR. PHILLED BY COLLEGE GIRLS- worried bf moment awww NICK AND GEORGE ARE SWEET!

“Before you can say jawline” BESS STOP WE DONT LIKE TAMARA OR HIS EXCELLENT JAWLINE! FRENCH ACCENT OK WHAT “no, Bess. That’s odette” sassy Nancy omg. Not the hellhounds- SHES A MURDERER

SMORT NANCY! GPS tracking. A bus station? AW BIG SIS NANCY! aw this poor girl, and Nancy relation y’all me too. pls Nancy sharing her tragic backstory. If we don’t get updates on this girl and Nancy and Jen being friends I’ll be sad.

“you ran back to daddy the first chance you got” NICK OK “some sob story about max the bully” nick pls- RYAN SOB STORY HAS ME SOBBING. No I cannot bond with him he’s a bad guy. BUT HE CARES ABOUT NANCY. NICK AND RYAN DUO IS GOOD!! MORE.

GEORGE CRYING ONG “he wakes up every night screaming. He has nightmares of me dying in his arms” STOP. Bess standing up to odette es my girl bess coming in clutch.

ACE CHECKING ON HIS COMPUTER PATIENT. “The flirting wasn’t a ruse” why did I say ow. Like actually I said ow. I knkw he’s fictional but my brain doesn’t seem to comprehend.

WHAT BESS YOURE MARRIED

SISTER:

“He’s going to his bfs house!” When Ryan ditches nick, she thinks he’s going to ask Carson for help

She almost burned her hand off in the hot air from a bag of popcorn, I can’t with this bish

“Oh is that spider woobs!”

“Y’all gonna die- George already died once like this week too-“

[exorise-blog1]

WOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW SEXY BABE 👀👅😗👌👀👀👅👀👌👌👌👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

sweet lies

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

peter's admiration of mj

holy shit here i am back on my sleep deprived impulsive posting mess again

you guys have no idea how much i appreciate peter's admiration of mj

let me explain (pfft bish pls what else was i gonna do)

peter parker has met literally every avenger that has ever existed, gone to space, fought alongside all these avengers against a sPACE ARMY THAT LITERALLY HAD THE SAME GIANT FLYING ALIENS THAT ATTACKED HIS HOME YEARS AGO, rode on a pegasus, been in 2.5 avengers movies (civil war), fought some of these avengers including the biggest of all of em (cap), punched, webshot, and kicked in the face THANOS, the guy who ended half of all life for 5 years for the entire universe, MULTIPLE TIMES, held the infinity gauntlet in his hands, almost got killed by 50+ space dogs, a giant hulk sized alien, and a telekinetic quidward, lost 2 father figures and his parents, and literally died and came back to life himself

he has had so fucking much happen to him, suffice it to say the least

and yet... he still finds himself at awe of this quirkily weird tall awkward intellectual girl who he's finally noticed has an interest in him

accdg to the travel journal that might/might not be canon (not sure), peter admires mj for how feminist she is

he admires her for her intelligence, at how mj was able to use her smarts and just be so cool because of it

REMEMBER THE BOH SCENE???

peter literally says whoa over the fact that the word mj discovered and introduced to him worked so effectively and how she used it sooo suavely

i know maybe it's fucking dumb to be so at awe over the fact that peter is still capable of being surprised even after all that he's seen but i can't fucking help it

i am just so fucking happy that even after all he's been thru, he still finds himself having these lil moments that have some semblance of highschool teenage normalcy

he seems genuinely surprised every. single. time. mj seems to show interest in him and it just makes me so fucking happy for peter to have that in his life

that despite all the trauma he's gone thru, all the mind blowing shit he's seen and experienced first hand in his superheroic avenging life, he's still just a teenage guy with a crush, with normal wishes and aspirations and hopes of that crush liking him back

the fact that peter has stood witness to some of the most epic moments of the mcu, but alongside all of those moments that matter just as much, if not more, are these small intimate so normal and cheesy but you dont actually mind how cheesy it is moments that peter has with mj

the fact that his avenger spider-man life sure can be surprising, but mj is so wonderfully surprising and amazing in her own incredibly unique and normal way as well

you can just see how much mj means to him. the time she got rid of flash for him, the time she said she was excited to go to the eiffel tower too, how he couldn't believe that she actually wanted to sit next to him at the opera, how eager she was to just go on their walk/date, and how she actually just kissed him.

in every single one of these moments, peter finds himself at awe and genuinely shocked. how he's been thru crazier shit than this, but he still finds himself happily surprised.

maybe i'm just happy that their sweet lil moments can stand beside all these big scale ones he's been a part of

but really, maybe i'm just happy that peter gets to have these happy moments at all

after all he's been through, god he deserves it

[tellywoodtrash]

ebss 15.08.19 lb

pooja's bitchface at all these people invading her house early in the morning is legit my permanent mood.

panditji is like vadhu is not dressed at all? hush sir, she's living my best life, doing everything, down to shaadi, in her jammies.

this fucker already pulling the "pati is parmeshwar" bullshit.

god you are so going to get murdered once this wedding is done, dude. i really need her to go black widow/praying mantis like the OG promos of this show.

rani is me, outraged at this misogynist rubbish.

“rang maine khud choose kiye hai... sonali baahar agar koi tumhari bhaabi ki tareef kare, toh bataana mat bhoolna ki yeh rang tumhare kabir bhaiyya ne tumhari bhaabi ke liye specially choose kiya hai.”

lord, he’s laying on the performative romantic gushiness more than dhruv also.

sonali has taken over from rani wrt best reactions in bg. i love her face so much. i love it so much that now deepika padukone looks like nakli aanchal to me.

ugh.

rani's desperation to break it all up is already showing. barely minutes later.

pooja is like bish you think i wanna marry that loser? i'm just buying time.

lol, shaadi toh hogi boo. abhi se uss sach ke saath samjhauta karlo toh achcha.

my god this bitch. she really don't give a fuck about di or maa. she's really something elseeeeee.

chanda is already bossing over everyone, because ladke waale. unko toh saath khoon maaf.

aur lol, in sab ke thopde dekho.

fucker. i thought he was genuinely apologizing to amma for the way he’s doing this. but he's just being a passive aggressive asshole.

WHY KABIR???? TELL ME THERE'S SOME GOOD ULTERIOR MOTIVE BEHIND THIS, LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO PROTECT POOJA+MOM FROM DHRUV OR THE CHOPRAS OR SOMETHING. PLEASE!?!?!?! I HAD SO MUCH HOPE FROM YOUUUUUUUUUUU.

ok some small mercy that he's concerned about "maa" and doing her ilaaj and all.

(idk with what money, but i'll take whatever scraps of goodness i can get rn.)

here comes the briiiiide, all dressed in whiiiiiite.

and pink. coz apparently that's kabir's favt. colour.

"mashaAllah. mashaAllah!!!!!!! kaha tha na maine, in kapdo mein MERI POOJA khil uthegi. nihaayati khoobsoorat lag rahi ho tum, pooja!"

woh sab toh theek hai but why you talking like hrithik from jodhaa akbar suddenly???

"aaj se tumahre life ke saare important decisions main loonga."

bitch, you're seriously asking for a swift kick in the groin. someone call sonakshi rastogi pls.

no sonali. we do not smile at this patriarchal garbage. come on.

ouffffffffff yaaaaaaar. dekho magar pyaar se.

haraami insaan.

ugh. my poor girl.

i can't help but lol at suman. ek baar isko bahu baanake laane ka nateeja abhi tak bhugat rahein hain, ki chalo doosri baar bhi isiiiiko laana hai.

it's ok, sab tumhara hi kiya-dharaa hai. if only you hadn't aided and abetted arson and murder.

FUCKER. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. TERE HAATH KAAT KE SAMUNDAR MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN.

"bohut jald yeh tumhara ghamand mein duniya ke saamne todunga."

I HATE MEN. I HATE MEN. I HAAAAAAAATE MEN. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

ouff ab aashirwaad bhi lena hai is manhoos shaadi ke liye.

lmaoooooooo everyone's faces.

....... except chanda, who's enjoyinggggggggggg being badi buzurg in this sitch.

done? now everyone literally gtfo pls.

"tum kitni dakhyanusi ho yaar. aaj kal dono families ek jagah book karti hain, ek jagah rasmein poori karti hain, enjoy karte hain, masti karte hain..."

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

yup. ghar jamai has moved the fuck in. with the whole fam.

DO DIN MEIN SHAADI????? uthaaaaaaa le reeee deva.

also didn't he say he wanted lammmmmmbi shaadi?

sis try not to be so obvious that you're playing for time.

lol yeh kabir sonali yaaraana.

guess jai is still in the doghouse for the exam cheating thing.

TIME TO USE YOUR JANHVI MITTAL WAALA DIMAAG AGAIN SIS. YA WOH RADDI MEIN BECH AAYI APNE SAARE SAARIYON KE SAATH?

haaaye meri bachchi.

what the fuck is your deal bro? usko sataana bhi hai, rote hue dekha bhi nahi jaata. why are you like this??

mummy is here to taunt, ki "kya hua, uske do boond aansoo gire aur saari badle ki aag thandi pad gayi?"

he insists there's no badle ki aag. THEN WHAT IS THIS???? I DON'T GET IT. EXPLAIN TO ME.

how ironic, azaadi ke din hi azaadi kho baithi.

pooja's like i need to gtfo this damn house. 15 august toh 15 august, chalo manaate hain.

ok blah blah maatrubhoomi blah blah idc.

but look how fucking stunning. lord. how is she realllllllllllllllllllllll???????

lmao ranjeet is a realist. kabir yahaan se chavanni bhi nahi lene dega, aur rani bhi nahi pat rahi.

LMAO HE'S ALREADY GOTTEN TINDER.  ("yeh dekho; so many roop ki ranis, for your choron ka raja!")

OMFG CHANDA WANTS TO GET ON TINDER TOO. LSKJFLSKJFLK LORD PLS SPARE MEEEEEE.

lololololol rani sees di sneaking into kabir's room.

what clue you even expect to find here in this room sis, he literally just moved in an hour ago?????????

lol rani ke zakham pe toh top class himalayan pink salt chhidkaa jaa raha hai.

ugh he's so irritating. like kinda sorta justified in the snark coz she WAS snooping in his room, but ugh.

*windows log off noise* oh that sound? it’s just me switching my morality waala brain off. coz i've had enough for today. i'm just gonna stare at these ridiculously beautiful faces super up close to each other, coz it's all i've wanted from this show anyway. let me have this!

siiiiiiiiiiiigh in a different show.....

god chachi has brought full paltan and is literally saying "shame shame, puppy shame."

chachi gtfo here with your slut shaming.

AND YOU, STOP CHEESIN' AND ENJOYING THIS. GOD YOU'RE THE FUCKING WORST, MAN.

———————————————————————

oh boy, kal naach gaana episode hai.

but shail is back!

kyun behen? tu khud kyun jaayegi???? to invite more attention and let him know you're on the case? god pooja, you're dumb as fuck. honestly. 

[starlight-parkers]

The Report Card (Avengers x Reader) {Chatroom}

Author’s Note(s): I wrote this back in october and forgot about in entirely. I hope you enjoy x

Warning(s): just swearing tbh

Summary: Dogs are great but your dads Steve and Tony don’t agree.

you have created a chatroom

you have named the chat “dear fathers whom I love so very much :)”

you have added Tony

You: hello father who raised me from a yOung one whom to which I love very much :)

Tony: no

You: no???

You: I didn’t say anything ???

Tony: it’s paternal instinct

You: at least hear me out

Tony: nO

You: daAAaaAAD

Tony: (Y/nNnnnNn)

You: I’m gonna tell you anyways

Tony: I had a feeling you would

You: so I got my report card back

Tony: I can already see where this is going

You: and I got all As…

Tony: I was not prepared for this part of parenthood

You: so I was wondering…

Tony: gEt To iT CHILD

You: if I could get a puppy?

Tony: lmao NO

You: fudGe yOU

You: you’re the worst dad ever

Tony: I’m going to pretend that my pride isn’t wounded and say I love you too kiddo :,)

You: I bet Steve would get me a dog.

Steve has joined the chat

Steve: no he wouldn’t

You: pleaSe dad?

Steve: nope

You: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?

You: you’re both the worst

Steve: correction…Tony is the worst. Who makes you cap’s shield shaped sandwiches everyday?

You: you do…

Steve: damn right I do

Tony: hey I mean I totally don’t pay your phone bill… not at all… please do continue to insult me as if I’m not here.

You: you know what fudge you both, I’m asking peter.

Tony: oh god no not the kid

Tony: you know I can’t say no to him

You: exactly ;)

You have added Peter

Peter: Hey everyone!

You: hi Petey <3

Tony: hey underoos

Steve: hello

Peter: what can I do for you?

You: oh y'know

You: we just need you to settle a family disagreement

Peter: oh… okay, what seems to be the problem?

Steve: (Y/N) got all As in her report card

Peter: Aw well done baby! :)

Tony: I am resisting the urge to throw up (:

You: and I want a puppy as a reward but AnthonY and SteVeN wont let me get one.

Peter: well that’s a shame

Steve: it sure is…

You: shuT UP Steve

Steve: thE DISrESPECT

Tony: asjajaja

You: anyways I need you to convince them that I should get a puppy

Peter: uHhhh

Steve: I’d chose my words wisely kid.

Tony: or don’t say anything at all, y'know.

Peter: umm

You: if you don’t help me convince them I won’t let you do my homework for a month

Peter: I…shouldn’t…be doing… your homework… anyway?

You: shut up you know you enjoy it

Peter: I do :(

Tony: what…just…happened?

Steve: I don’t know but is this how dating works nowadays?

Clint has joined the chat

Tony: oh no

Clint has added Natasha, Bruce, Thor, T'challa, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Scott and Vision.

Clint: we heard talk of a dog

Steve: well you heard wrong

Sam: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?

You: I SAID THAT

Thor: I FOR ONE AM IN FAVOUR OF SMALL AND FEROCIOUS BEAST RUNNING AROUND THE TOWER!! IT SHALL BE MOST ENJOYABLE :) :) :)

Natasha: Thor, caps lock sweetie.

Thor: *whispers* oh yes, I apologise widow of black :) :) :)

Peter: is bad that I actually heard him yelling from the other side of the tower or?

Peter: and are we just going to ignore the fact that he added in *whispers* ?

Clint: LeT hIm LiVe pETer

Bucky: yeah! Sit down you little asshole

Peter: I… am…confused.

Sam: oh somebody get him a juice box, little Peter is confused.

Peter: w h y  a re  y o u                       a t t a c k i n g  m e ?

Sam: oh shit someone’s having a tantrum.

Natasha: go sit in a corner sam, you’re being uneccesary.

Sam: stfu woman come back when you can spell unnecessary.

Bucky: #ROASTED

You: WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC

Wanda: what were we talking about again?

Tony has cleared the chat

Tony: I think were talking about getting pancakes for breakfast today

Steve: oh yes, Tony’s treat :)

Tony: of course it’s my treat I’m the only one with money.

Scott: I’m down for pancakes

Bucky: yeah I could go for some too

T'challa: if Tony’s paying

Thor: I TOO WOULD ENJOY THE CAKE OF THE PAN.

Natasha: as mentioned before, only if Tony’s paying.

Wanda: same

Steve: then its settled, pancakes at 10

Clint: WHAT ARE YOU TAPKING ABOUT

Clint: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG YOU FOOLS  

You: T H A N K  Y O U

Tony: fuck yOu clint

Steve: LANGUAGE TONY

Steve: there are children present

You: all in favour of getting a dog say aye

Scott: aye

Wanda: aye

Bucky: aye

Sam: aye

Peter: aye

Clint: AYE FUCKING AYE CAPTAIN

Bucky: too much Clint too much

Clint: sorry

Peter: well it’s decided,  I guess we’re getting a dog

Tony: Vision, T'Challa, Bruce and Natasha haven’t voted yet.

Steve: not to mention Pietro

Pietro has joined the chat

Pietro: I vote for the dog, they’re better than people and I hate everyone.

Pietro has left the chat

Wanda: sorry about that, he’s still salty because we invited Scott to the Civil War and not him.

Scott: how were we supposed to know? he’s meant to be dead

Clint: RIP that speedy guy 2k15, you shall not be missed

You:  I am physically sobBiNg

Bucky: she’s not kidding, I am three floors down and I can still hear her.

Scott : it sounds like she’s dying

Peter: then it’s nothing new.

Bruce: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HAD A CIVIL WAR?

Bruce: I THOUGHT WE WENT THROUGH THIS

Tony: no brucie, we’re talking about the possibility of (Y/N) having a demon spawn to call their own

Bruce: I hate all of you

T'Challa: I agree, you are all beneath me

Sam: sit yo ass down and drink some milk, cat man

Bucky: #LIGHTLYBURNT

Wanda: IM WHEEZING

Scott: you guys gotta stop roasting each other, (Y/N) is going to D I E of laughter.

Peter: let her  

Tony: what

Peter: f r e e  m e

Steve: moving on…

Thor: yes…please proceed.

Steve: Bruce? Natasha? Thoughts on the dog.

Natasha: I’m against it

You: WHY?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE AWESOME AUNT NOT THE ASSHOLE AUNT

Natasha: cats are cooler

Clint: Natasha we can no longer be friends

Natasha: fine by me

Bucky: #CHARED

Tony: science bro?

Bruce: I’m also in favour of a cat, they’re more peaceful and less…like you guys.

T'Challa: I agree

Bucky: leave cat man

T'Challa: call me that again and pietro won’t be the only avenger to have died

T'Challa has left the chat

You: well then…

Peter: I don’t know what to say

Thor: what about brother vision? He has yet to cast his vote.

Wanda: I’ll admit Vis has been very quiet.

Vision: I apologise profusely for my lack of presence.

You: HE JUST PHASED INTO THE COMMON ROOM AS HE TYPED THAT IM W H E E Z I N G

Tony: Steve is your child asthmatic

Steve: she’s  not my child, she’s yours

You: wow what a loving family I have

Thor: indeed, much like my own, at least you are not a murderous pathetic excuse for a villain :)

Wanda: is it me or does the smiley face make it worse ?

Natasha: it’s the smiley face.

Tony: anywho vis, vision, partial creation of mine

Tony: what do you think about getting a dog?

Vision: by my calculations getting a dog would perhaps increase the physical activity of (Y/N) as we have come to realise, She only moves to retrieve a food source before returning to her room. Having a dog would lead to (Y/N) leaving the compound more, in order to walk the animal.

You: I’m sorry I didn’t know asking for a dog would include roasting me

Bucky: #BARBECUED

Peter: what’s with all these hashtags ?

Bucky: I’m running out of synonyms for roasted

Vision: Additionally, having a dog would decrease the stress levels of the team and perhaps everyone’s mutual hatred towards Mr Stark.

Tony: you all hate me?

Steve: its less of hatred and more like a preference for avoiding you :) nothing to worry about.

Tony: oh okay then :)

Clint: how did that go over his head?

Bruce: I have no idea

Vision: to conclude getting a puppy would be most beneficial.

You: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

You: HAHAHA SUCK IT STEVEN IM GETTING A DOG

Bruce: (Y/N) is definitely Stark’s child.

Thor: aye

Natasha: no doubt about it

Loki has joined the chat

Clint: ew who invited him

Wanda: why so salty Clint?

Clint: he tried to take over my mind with some voodoo shit

Sam: VOODOO SHIT IM SCREAMING

Peter: he actually is

Peter: it’s very loud

Loki: you foolish midguardians. I always said that you would be responsible for your own demise.

Scott: what are you on about reindeer games?

Loki: I’m sorry who are you?

Bucky: #OVERCOOKED

Bruce: these hashtags are getting out of hand.

Peter: remind me to teach him how to use them properly.

Thor: brother! :D

Loki: NOT NOW YOU BLONDE HEADED FOOL

Thor:  D:

Wanda: yikes

Loki: I HAVE COME TO WARN YOU.

You: warn us of your presence? Because none of us actually like you.

Thor: I do

Thor: just a bit

Loki: purchasing the vile beast known as man’s best friend will only result in the destruction of the Avengers. We all know (Y/N) would betray us. She would raise this animal, to become a beast. Multiply it and use it to destroy us from the inside.

Steve: is Loki… afraid…of dogs

You: oh my god

Loki: NO YOU IMBECILE I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU

Natasha: Loki? Saving us ?

Vision: in all my years on earth I have never heard such an entertaining tale

Peter: sit the fuck down bish you’re like 2 years old

Bruce: peter omg

Sam: THERE ARE  T E A R S FLOWING FROM MY EYES

Thor: please send help it sounds like he’s choking

Bucky:  l e t  h i m

Steve: what is it with everyone and wanting to kill each other?

You: don’t act like you haven’t wanted to kill any of us, you golden child

Steve: …

Steve: proceed.

Bucky: #

Scott: don’t even start I beg

Bucky: D:

Loki: you mortals will all perish

Tony: so I think we’ve established that Loki is afraid of dogs, and since none of us like him I propose we get one.

Steve: agreed

Loki: NO YOU DENSE HEADED INFERIORS

Tony: all in favour of a dog say aye

Steve: aye

You: aye

Thor: aye

Peter: aye

Scott: aye

Wanda: aye

Vision: aye

Natasha: aye

Bucky: aye

Bruce: aye

Sam: aye

Clint: AYE MOTHER FUCKING AYE BITCHES

Bucky: Clint pls

Natasha: you are an embarrassment to this team, no wonder pietro is always running away from you.

Natasha has left the chat

Clint: damn

Bucky: #SCORCHED

Peter: well now that this has come to end, Let’s go Bucky, I gotta teach you the ways of the hashtag

Sam: oh I have got to see this

Scott: I’m definitely filming this

Bucky has left the chat

Peter has left the chat

Sam has left the chat

Scott has left the chat

Loki: you will all die

Loki has left the chat

Thor: it appears that Loki is having a tantrum

Thor: I must tend to my brother, his feelings have been hurt.

Tony: lolol I don’t care

Steve: same tbh

You: SE E YOU ARE NOT SUCH A PURE GOOD WILLING PERSON AFTER ALL

You: SUCK IT STEVEN

Tony: why do you have such a disrespectful child Steve?

Steve: biologically she’s your creation, you do the math

Clint: LMAOOO

Bruce: brb I’m totally not sobbing with laughter

Thor: I must depart from you friends (: goodbye

You: bye (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

You: (:

Thor: (:

Clint: ISTG JUST LEAVE

Thor: be careful who you yell at brother Clinton. I am always watching.

Thor has left the chat

Bruce: well then

Tony: moving swiftly on

Clint: AHAHAA

You: im finally getting a dog WHOO

Clint: WHOOO

You: WHOOO

Steve: why are you both simultaneously yelling ‘whoo’ whilst typing it at the same time?

You: it’s for effect

Bruce: looool

Tony: anyways since you’re getting this dog, they least you could do is name it after your favourite dad

Steve: I agree, this debate has gone on for too long

Steve: which one of us do you like best?

You: sure why not

Bruce: this is going to get interesting

Clint: I’m ready to take screenshots

You: I’m naming my dog peter

Steve: why?

You: because he’s my favourite daddy

You: duh

(Y/N) has left the chat

Tony: what

Steve: pardon

Bruce: AJAJAJA IM SCREAMING AND WHEEZING AT THE SAME TIME I CANT

Clint: OH MY GOD BYE

Bruce has been disconnected

Clint: I’m totally… going to… see if he’s okay… and not laugh about this

Clint has left the chat

Steve: I can’t believe this

Tony: …

Steve: you have your suit right?

Tony: already putting it on

Steve: the shield?

Tony: it’s right where you left it

Steve: it’s time to go squash a spider

Steve has left the chat

Tony has left the chat

[queen-haiz]

if u wanna know how i bested a straight white man today keep reading

so i enter the cafeteria at work and i see the security dude tryna help a lady with the vending machine bc one of her candies got stuck (as they do all the time in that damn machine)

so he tries to shake it a few times and it doesnt work, meanwhile im minding my own business. and then he gave up and the lady said i thought maybe u could help bc ur stronger than me. n the bitch snaps at her saying “i wasnt hired here for my strength” and im like wow how dare u snap at a girl u dick

so at that point im “like let me try”. and he looks at me, weighing 48kg on my best day, and lowkey laughs like dis bitch pls

so i push the damn machine knowing very well that i’d succeed as i did countless times before for other ladies bc no lady is left without snacks on my watch, and after the 3rd push the candy falls out

and both of them are just standing there like WHAT HTE FUCK and im like that’s how it’s done lmao n i go back to my business n the girl is like HOW DID U DO IT UR SO SKINNY BISH HOW THE FUCK and she gives me one of her candies n im like no that’s urs n she’s like just take it legend u fucking deserved it i still cant believe what u did bitch n she’s like mentally keysmashing at that point

and the dude surprisingly took it so well he was like damn that’s impressive well done

so that’s the story of how i bested a man and got candy from a girl

[otp-bumbleby]

RWBY Volume 5, Chapter 11 'The More the Merrier' rapid-fire thoughts (warning, spoilers)

PSA I'm sitting here 5 minutes in advance staring at my TV with my headphones on and my heart feels like it's about to explode. I can hear my own heartbeat. My body is shaking. I might be cold, since for some reason the weather has decided to forget it's summer, but, I'm shooketh anyway

LOOK AT THAT FULL MOON BEAUTIFUL BIG CHEESE BALL

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

THE GANG'S ALL HERE oh wait

Walking into a trap like...like, well, these guys

Cowardly lion is cowardly

Ohhh EPISODE title drop

Yang SENSES THE FUCKBOI MERC- oh wait it's just a bitchy bird

Nora finds the birds weirder than cute boy Ozpin

I wouldn't really take lectures from a crazy bird lady tbh

Does dis bish not know Oz is right there

RUBY PLS Raven doesn't want to look at you you look like Summer

UM EX CA HUUUUUSEEEE MEEEEE BITCH

IT'S THE FUCKGAL SQUAD

I honestly forgot what Mercury sounded like

WELP I DID GUESS THE ATTACK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT I'M CONFLICTED AT MY CORRECTNESS

"NO WAY IN, NO WAY OUT" - Ray Narvaez Jr

ANOTHER FUCKBOI APPEARS

I'm fucking sweating

Jaune semblance reveal coming??? Or he's just mad about Pyrrha

Okay I fucking laughed. Miles must have had fun with this

Oh fuck off Mercury you're a loser

FUCK YEAH TWIN FIGHT

Fuck off Vernal you're also a loser

At this point it's already half over I'm not sensing a buzzing sound quite yet

Go Oz boy go teach that...Oh, he has a tail? Since when..I guess the name was telling, I'm not all that smart I guess

What is this some Roy Mustang bs?

It was at that moment, Leo knew, he had fucked up

Weiss you realise that wall isn't actually going to help, right

Whoooo out of his league dig

NO WEISS BBY

OKAY RUDE WHO DECIDED TO PUT THAT FLASHBACK IN

Wow Jaune you almost got her

Jaune that is a feeble and ridiculous notion

CALLING THE BELLADONNAS AND THE FAUNUS HELLO PLS

UM UM UM UM EX CAAA HUUUUUUSEEEEE MEEEEEEE

WHAT THE FUCK

WEISS WON'T DIE because it was more like a kidney shot BUT STILL

WHAT

THE

FUCK

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ofcosima]

✗ ┈ oh my gosh, no way that DUA LIPA just walked passed us ! what ? no, that was definitely SORCHA KRAVITZ.  you know, the NINETEEN year old SENIOR at MBHS. SHE has the rep as being the ACTIVIST and it makes a lot of sense. anyone who is FERVID & ALLOCENTRIC, but also TURBULENT & FICKLE deserves that title. for senior superlatives they won MOST LIKELY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and captioned the song LINK IN BIO - DIET CIG under their yearbook photo. hopefully their dreams to TRAVEL THE WORLD come true after graduation and it’s a good last year in MOON BAY !

hi henlo world !! i’m so fuckin’ pumped to be here ?? kisses & hugs to our lovely admin for bein the goat !! okay so,,, i’m actually not here ?? 1 pm est, and im probably working on my introduction to drama final on monday,, but anyway ! i’ll be here in 1 hour or so,, and smother y’all with my dms ok ? lets move to my precious baby,  sorcha !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright !! i’m gonna try to keep this short,, but i can feel the word vomit,, its so close... u all gonna choke im sorry thats disgusting anyway lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ staying tru to leo baby dua’s origins, kravitz family moved from kosovo to moonbay when sorcha was five. she’s part kosovan, british and irish !! thing about the kravitz’s that they were so typical. like...,, mom quitting work to raise sorcha, dad @ work from 9 am to 5 pm. everything was simple. a smol house, a few toys to play with,, a wii as a new years present ?? honestly , sorcha never minded the apparent differences of income between her peers & her ! she loved how,, real it felt? they had game nights on every thursday, and movie nights on monday to blow off some steam ! she didn’t even hear one single argument ,, except when mom became too invested in monopoly & accused dad of stealing from the bank, like,  each time they played lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ they never talked much about dad’s work, or what mom did before they left kosovo. the past was a locked box,, and sorcha didn’t mind it ?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ growing up, she was a hard one to contain. she would throw awful, awful tantrums,, but then feel extremely sorry ?? like she would be this terrible kid, then cry for ten hours straight in her bed because she made people upset. she would leave smol notes on moms bed,, like never actually apologising, but always showing how much she felt bad ?? a real tempest tbh. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ had the potential to be the best, but never tried ?? mom ( rina ) ‘s attempts on pushing her to be more competitive always fell short,, sorcha saying she didn’t want her friends to feel bad for losing ?? wtf you lil puppy ?? 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ she was ( still is, but now on different topics ) extremely vocal ?? like to the age of ten,, if she didn’t like something......,, you would know that. if she had a crush on you,, you would know,, because she would tell exactly that ? teacher being a nasty prick ? ? sorcha, ,, thrownin hands,, directly discussin’ the matter like she was a fucking thirty year old lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ around fourteen, mom started workin again, along side papa !! tbh sorcha lo v e d havin the house to herself, because now both mom & dad were working late ,, the rebellious side had no one to restrict her,, yasss bish. she usually spent nights watching criminal minds , law & order : svu , ncis ,, or talking to strangers on platforms like tumblr & twitter. she thinks she grew up mentally a lot during this time, because she got to hear stories of ppl she doesn’t even really know ?? and she got v invested too. a caring babe. always focused on others,, she would occasionally have her friends over , and attend every party moonbay offered. ya gurl lo v e s parties ok

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so fifteen was hella differen t ?? mainly because.....,, they moved to a huge ass mansion, ,closer to the beach. everything felt so freaking surreal ?? kravitz’s hired a help for the house, got a brand new car for sorcha,, basically made $$$ rain down on her. hella suspicious. so she started to get v passive aggressive toward mom mama and papa ?? snarky comments here and there,, refusing to participate in family activities,, heading out when dad strictly forbids her ?? a tru rebel with a halfass cause.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ this whole emo™ phase gave birth to her label, the activist !! like i mentioned,, she never had any trouble with expressing her opinions,, playin the devils advocate,, this time,,, she gradually started to take it more seriously ?? like as she became less and less interested in mom and dads secret money fountain,, sorcha found herself in problems bigger than her own !! only obstacle was,,, again,, herself

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ her fickle nature never allowed herself to be stay tru 2 one cause, , always finding something brand new to fight for. she had so much on her mind 100 % of the time, and she didn’t know how to silence the voices ?? often failing to express her intense feelings,,  her turbulent side created chaos ,, being sent to the principles office more than twice,, thus she started playing football to channel her inner rage but ooppss, it doesnt work lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so eighteen,, and she basically accidentally discovered the secret ?? turns out mom & dad used to work for a corrupt ceo back in hometown, and now doing something similar to money laundering for him. ngl this was the last straw for her. like. she is trying to be a decent human being,, make a change? ? run for presidency ?? save the whales ?? smash the patriarchy  ?? and this is her family ? ?this is why she has a chanel bag ? ? u gotta be kidding me

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ SO. i wanna add that she has never had a boy / girl friend, my bi bunny is too invested in the negativity that she just... never tried ?? like,, she is pretty, and she knows she is,, but no one made a move on her. probably because she was super committed in being everyones friend ?? you have a problem ?? come 2 sorcha,, she gonna be the shoulder u can cry on. she has a problem ?? gonna avoid it until it snowballs,,, on relationships shes like whatevers dude im c hill™ and is actually content with it because means she won’t face rejection or betrayal ever :)) but lowkey not content but no one will know bc i lov bottling up !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ kinda life of the party ?? but also studious? ? she knows she needs good grades to make her dreams come tru, but also cant bite her freakin tongue and stop from gettin in trouble. stfu sorcha. i need her partner in crime,, because this ho is always,, in t r o u ble

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ daddy raised no bitch :) a fuqing tough cookie :)) if u mess with her friends,, you gonna catch these hands,, real hard

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ooks like she has everything under control,, in reality,, heres a list of them :

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ actually, , ,people may think she doesn’t care at all ? ?except for like,, feminism,, animals,,  , like she has it so good that she doesnt even need to try anymore lmfao no..... baby is a ball of anxiety ,,, died a lil when people chose her for “most likely to take over the world” ,, like... ,, pls dont

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ anyway. she is planning on taking a gap year after graduation because honestly,, she needs a break ok.

[faye666-999]

I need this

Lmao

So story time. This one time I was fucking high off my mind from my sleeping meds (ambien) and I leaned a little off my bed to lower the brightness of my nightlight and bish boom I fell right the fuck off and thought I died. I laid there for a while just contemplating my life and listening to the chill voices conversing with each other. I'm ashamed to admit I've also fell off my bed when I was fully sober and just tryna turn the DAMN BRIGHTNESS DOWN.

It's obviously why I got a different nightlight lol. Don't come at me. Pls.

[vishwaspur]

Dilpreet Tales: 10th October, 2017

Pls recite fateha for my internet speed..it died today.

(honestly get yourself a Bish like the Bish I have…she couldn’t send me edited episodes but she sent me exact timestamps to watch for the relevant bits)

(BishBaaazi is the best Baaazi! Ishqbaaazi can’t relate!)

Waise I am not convinced this is the original Richa

I don’t remember her voice being this…annoying

But then half of the random sidey characters in this show have annoying voices so meh

Okay fuck the annoying voice

My Queenie has a friend that is exclusively hers T_T

Yeah no..she has a super annoying voice

DEATH TO THE JI! :@

I want Gauri’s earrings

HAYEE NAASPEETI STOP CHIRKOYING NAMAK ON MY QUEENIE’S WOUNDS!!!

The irony of Gauri’s life has been killing me lately

DID YOU SEE THAT?!?

That abrupt response of Gauri!!!

“broken” IS the right word for Gauri right now

I have seen this girl battle a lot of things..

But this is the first time I am seeing her so…

T__T

DEATH TO THE FLASHBACKS!!!

“Itni khushi sambhali nahin jaegi na kisi se..”

*laughs out loud and goes to the corner to cry*

The fact that she still does and will keep on considering Omkara as her pati..

Aaah Queen :’(

I don’t like this suit on Omkie..

LMAO!!

He waved the guy close and when he couldn’t answer him he waved him off like he was some makhi xD

GOOD LORD HE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN’ SUPERMODEL WALKING AT PARIS FASHION WEEK OR SOMETHING!

DEATH TO THE INAPPRORIATELY PLACED AND USED INTERNAL MONOLOGUES!!

What have we done to deserve Shrenu Parikh?

Wallaah.

Oh noess noooooo

MY HEART IS TOO WEAK

I CAN’T TAKE THESE PARALLEL SHOTS

OF SEEING TWO ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS PEOPLE GETTING READY LIKE THIS

*sobs at the beauty that is ShreNal*

*sobs at the fact that Kunal will not be showing his luscious locks for a while now*

*sobs at Shrenu’s face*

*sobs at the direction of the Gauri getting ready scene*

*sobs that the next scene is of ACP Anda*

(hain is Bhavya chasing a hoodie mein Abhay)

(she is inches behind him and nahin pakad saki)

(Bhavya is the reason Indian police is so badnaam)

OOoh…is that Richa’s fiancé?

Nice insaan..

NO MY QUEEN DON’T CALL YOURSELF THAT!!

Fuck you Omkie! FUCK YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!

I am tired of these FBs.

It legit KILLS me that Gauri is saying all these double-meaning lines but no one can understand them

Cuz no one knows the context

MAAAA pls tu marr jaa.

(awww! Shivika are being so cutesy sweet with each other it’s actually endearing)

BAJI BAJI GHANTI BAJI!!!

Hain?

Ye konsa law hai ke she can’t put the thaal and chalni down?

MAAAAAA pls tu marr jaa.

Pompom industry IB ke dumm sehi chal rahi hai.

SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY!!!

If I didn’t identify myself as asexual I’d definitely identify myself as “Gay for Gauri”

AAANNNNNNDD THE SUPER CONTRIVED CHALNI SE PATI KO DEKHNA CUZ FATE SCENE IS HERE!!

Did they..cut to Bhavya?

O.o

Are they seriously doing a communal karwachaut?

They are.

Konsa song hai ye? DDLJ wala?

Awww! She saw SardarKara through the Chalni :’)

Waise I LOVE how the camera’s angle was kept like neeche se upper dekhing

I am going to throw up.

GHAR AAJA PARDESI TERA DES BULAYE REEEEEE!!!

Sabka vrat saath mein tootaa..

Except Gauri.

OKAY I AM FORWARDING BOHAT HOGAYI MICHMICHI!!

I repeat…DEATH TO THE INAPPROPRIATELY PLACED INTERNAL MONOLOGUES!!

“Mujhe mehnat karni hogi..”

OMKARA SINGH OBEROI DID YOU REALLY SELL YOUR BRAIN FOR YOUR HAIR?!?!?

OF COURSE MEHNAT KARNI HOGI

JITNI MEHNAT SE STAGE SAJA KE GAURI KI BEIZZATI KI THI

AT LEAST USSE 100X MORE MEHNAT TOH KARNI HOGI!!

Okay he is poeting in Punjabi

LMAAOO QUEENIE’S FACE!!

SHE IS SO NOT AMUSED!!

OKAY THIS SCENE IS ENTIRELY KUNAL JAISINGH!!! THERE IS LEGIT NO OMKARA HERE!!

“Main..main Dilpreet Singh!”

But does she really not recognize him?

Hah! I wanted that! WOOHOO!!

“Main konsa Diljit Dosanjh hoon..”

BWAHAHAH!

Oh god he is so lame! xD

Bro you just knocked on a stranger’s door and started saying all this randomass shit about being “aam saa aadmi”

I don’t blame Queenie for the face she is making

BWAHAHAHA!!

EXCUSE ME AND LET ME REVEL IN THE GLORY OF WATCHING THE OMKARA SINGH OBEROI

LIE HIS WAY THROUGH AN ENTIRELY FAKE IDENTITY

BY MAKING THE LAMEST OF THE JOKES

AND LAUGHING AT THEM HIMSELF

“Aapko. Kis. Se. Milna. Hai?”

Queenie SLAYING!

She is actually treating him like he needs special care xD

“O ji Aapse!”

YE PHANSA!!

What? NO! Don’t end here!!

It was just getting fun!

Phooey! T_T

[beclynn-herondale]

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 4 2/2

Izzy: Dear diary, so dating Simon has be intriguing, Jace and Clary got some love shit going on or something, I swear these dummies, I love but seriously?, I've been keeping busy, Mom has been busy too, and Dad is probably going to be inquisitor now, so he won't be back, heck of a time dad, heck of a time. Alec and Magnus are on their vacation and keep sending "Wish you were here, except not really" like bish I wish I was there but we don't always get what we wish for and you being sassy.

*Later*

Simon is in the doghouse, and we broke up cause he was dating Maia while dating me, and I am disappointed in him, but me and Maia met up for coffee and talked about, I never realized what it could be like to have other women in your life, they just get you. Anyway I also saw Jace and Clary makeout in an alley and ya know never waste a perfectly good brick wall, I love my brother but I will never fully understand him at times. Also Clary kinda fought off a demon on her and it was badass, Jace's training has been paying off, but yeah also Clace made up again I think cause Jace went running after her a bit ago, I am calling them Clace now. Magnus and Alec are back or should I say Malec, anyway apparently the vampire chick and is Magnus' ex and I can see drama in the near future.

*Later later*

Welp, life why you gotta be such a bitch? Huh? Why? What's wrong with just leaving us alone, Jace got kidnapped by fucking Sebastian, if I find that shit I am gonna show him the wrath of an angry sister, he will never see the light of day again, I feel like Jace is a damsely in distress. And apparently Clary used the Angel's wish to bring him back which means he died once???? And idk what the Clave will do to her but I'll have her back, queen code.

Simon: Dear diary, so I am kinda playing with fire, but like Izzy is amazing and Maia is amazing, how do you pick? I don't want to hurt either of them. Jace is avoiding Clary and they need to communicate, does that make me a hypocrite? Idk. Magnus and Alec are on vacation hopefully enjoying themselves, did that sound wrong? Being a Vampire is still hard, and I want to tell my mom but like how do you tell your mother you're a vampire? Oh and Camille offered me to work for her but like there's something off with her but I don't know what.

*Later*

So. . . I have a roommate now, see I tried to tell my mom and she flipped out and I had to kinda like erase her memory. and I helped kidnap Camille and she ended up being Magnus' ex and like that's gotta start some drama and I don't want to be around for it. But also my roommate is apparently a werewolf, and Jace looks like he's dying, I took him to get some food and he got Mangoes and tomato soup, he ate them together, he is weird and I didn't realize how weird he was until now, he's also still running away from Clary and I wish they would just talk, but I mean Maia and Izzy found out and they both broke up with me, I deserve it tho, but also I am a hypocrite aren't I? But Jordan is cool, I still am upset he didn't tell me about any of it and is apparently my bodyguard or something, but maybe we can be friends.

*Later later*

So. . . I got kidnapped again, but by a 13 year old vampire who I bit and I felt horrible and she ended up getting killed and I hate myself but like she also got turned cause I bit her, I need to calm down. And Jace kinda got possessed by Lilith and kinda kidnapped Clary, and Clary's brother may have kinda been brought back, and I may have kinda defeated Lilith, oh and Jace and Clary made up again but Jace got kidnapped by Sebastian. Me and Izzy made up as well and idk what we are but yeh, Clary is upset and I wish I could help but Clace gets sad when they aren't together, it's sweet I guess, hopefully we find Jace soon.

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, I am back and here to cause chaos, I have kidnapped their precious Jacey boy and I do have plans for precious boy, I'll get Clary in good time, and I will cause so much chaos and destruction, I am going to bitch slap the Clave and they won't even see it coming, oh and Jace makes good eggs and he cleans, and does anything I ask ;) and it's so much fun to have him, father I have your sweet precious boy lol, I have plans, very evil plans but hey I am perfectly good at evil. Anyway I don't understand what else I am supposed to say.

Church: Dear cat diary, Jem please please save me, it's all gone to hell again, Herondale went through more love shit and got possessed by Lilith, LILITH!!!, and then he got kidnapped by his girlfriend's evil Brother, he is a fucking damsel in distress I swear, but he does talk to me. Clary used the Angel's wish to bring Jace back from the dead and I have a feeling the Clave ain't gonna be forgiving about that, they never are, the jerks, Clary will probably rebel though. Alec and Magnus were on vacation but came back and now there's more love drama, sigh. Simon decided playing with something he shouldn't be was a good idea, and him and Izzy broke up but I think they may be back together? Idk, all this love shit is confusing. Izzy is as usual Izzy, so fucking scary. Sebastian is a little shit and I see dark things in the future. Anyway I miss you Jem and I want you back so bad, and like you are the only one I love, pls save me, you beautiful human. Also tuna please.

[barbiehytes]

I CAN’T FIND A REACTION PIC THAT EXPLAINS HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH THIS. 

I AM SCREAMINGGG SO LOUD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I'M LOSING MY MINDDDDD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i didnt remember i asked for a hogwarts au but BISH I AM SO HAPPY I DID, this just made my entire life, and YOU ALSO PUT KAMERON IN IT AH!!!!!!!!! 

okokok imma try to be chill for 2 seconds to put my thoughts in order because AHHHHHHHHH you did this and i just wanna jump and go live in this world IS SO AMAZING

1. brooke and yvie being friends and slytherins  is like UGHHH THE BEST THING I LOVE IT SO MUCH, yvie's entire mood through all of this is so good and i just love them

“I thought the bludger you whacked at Kameron last week was a complete accident.” / SCREAMING ahhhhhhhhhh BROOKE AND KAMERON PLAYING QUIDDITCH YES YES WHERE DO I SIGN and also lmaooooo at brooke omg i am so in love

BROOKE IS HEAD GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am stanning forever

“And the way her potion mysteriously went solid yesterday?” It’s not my fault she took my bad advice,” / SDFGHJ HOLY SHIT oh god i love it here, poor baby kam

“Since Harry Potter fucking died for house diversity,” Yvie says. / HAAAAAAAAA i love it here, I snorted

"the kill bill sirens going off in her head"/ pls you are a genius lol

".. as Brooke fantasizes about stuffing Kameron’s stupid yellow tie down her throat."/  lmaooo pls ilove jealous brooke

LMAOOO you know the gryffindors had bets going on about how long was gonna take her

“You aren’t allowed to be in here,” she says, pointedly adjusting her Head Girl badge. “Go back to breakfast before I report you to Visage.” / UGH I LOVE HER she's so jelly pls

PLS I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, POSSESIVE BROOKE? NEEDY VANESSA MISSING HER GIRL OVER THE OWLS?? congrats on stealing my whole heart 

57 G branjie for the prompts cause i love jealousy pls and thank you - barbie 💞💞💞

this is a hot mess and i had 15 very different ideas for it which did not pan out well for me but anyway @barbiehytes​ I hope you enjoy this

57 - “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” 

G - Hogwarts AU

-

“That’s it,” Brooke announces over breakfast, glaring daggers at the Hufflepuff table. “I’m doing something about this.”

Yvie gives her a skeptical look. “Sure,” she says, and Brooke turns her glare on her.

“I am,” she says, and she looks back over at the Hufflepuff table, unable to keep her eyes away for very long. Irritation boils in her chest when she finds that Vanessa has scooted even closer to Kameron on the bench, her smile saccharine as her fingers walk towards Kameron’s muffin, which is being guarded by its owner. They’re being perfectly innocent, but Brooke can hardly stand to look at them.

“You know she’s doing it on purpose,” Yvie says, and Brooke lets out an irritated huff, her eyes never leaving the place where Vanjie’s hand is touching Kameron’s arm. 

“I know,” she mutters, but jealousy still writhes in her stomach like an electric eel. “And it’s working.”

“No way!” Yvie gasps sarcastically. “I thought the bludger you whacked at Kameron last week was a complete accident.”

“It was,” Brooke says through her teeth. It’s a lie and they both know it, but Brooke’s got a reputation to uphold as Head Girl. Also, she’d rather not be credited for the way Vanjie had cooed over Kameron’s arm cast for an entire day and a half.

“And the way her potion mysteriously went solid yesterday?”

“It’s not my fault she took my bad advice,” Brooke shrugs, although she can’t help the way her lips curl up, just a little. That one had been satisfying. 

Yvie snorts, and Brooke gives a small giggle of her own before Kameron’s hand falls on Vanjie’s knee, their faces close as they laugh together.

Brooke's mood instantly plummets.

“Since when were we allowed to sit at other houses’ tables, anyway?” she asks bitterly, and Yvie raises her eyebrows, amused. Vanjie touches Kameron’s arm lightly, again.

“Since Harry Potter fucking died for house diversity,” Yvie says. “And you’re giving her exactly what she wants.”

“I’m not,” Brooke shoots back, and Yvie snorts. Vanjie twirls a piece of hair around her finger. “I’m not. My ass is all the way on this bench, Ms. Oddly. I’m not going over there.”

“Not until she pulls some other shit.”

“It would be nice if you could have a little faith in me,” Brooke tells her, unamused. “Just a little.”

Yvie says something in response, but Brooke’s attention is suddenly 100% taken up by Vanjie jerking her head towards the doors, she and Kameron getting up together, hand in hand.

Brooke is on her feet before she even realizes what’s happening, panic and anger sending a spike of adrenaline through her. She barely registers Yvie’s knowing cackle beyond the Kill Bill sirens echoing through her head. 

What the fuck?

She watches Vanjie drag Kameron out the great doors with disbelief, the two girls giggling the entire way. Brooke feels frozen in place, her breath catching in her throat as she stares at their entwined fingers. 

What the fuck.

Kameron looks behind her, and she meets Brooke’s eyes. She winks just before Vanjie leads her around the corner and out of sight.

What the fuck.

“Goddamn,” Yvie says, as Brooke fantasizes about stuffing Kameron’s stupid yellow tie down her throat. “Are you going to take the bait?”

Brooke shakes her head. Has her breathing always been this shallow? “I’m not taking the bait.”

“Please,” Yvie says, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to take the bait.”

There’s a pause as Brooke makes a vain attempt to see Vanjie through the stone staircase she and Kameron had disappeared behind. She nods. “I’m going to take the bait.”

She speeds towards the doors, practically running, the rest of the Slytherin table hooting and hollering at her as she does, cheering like they’re watching a Quidditch match. She knows the other tables are making noise, as well, but she can’t be bothered to try to decipher the tone as she races out of the Great Hall and beelines towards the stairs she’d seen the two girls slip behind.

She hears the giggling before she sees it, and she turns the corner already seeing red, the jealousy and irritation that she’s been feeling for the past week finally breaking out of the cage she’d been trying to keep it in.

“What the hell are you two doing?” she snaps as soon as she sees the back of Kameron’s head, her shoulders hunched up as she laughs.

Vanjie widens her eyes innocently from just behind Kameron, even as her eyebrows arch in the way that means she’s trying not to laugh, her lips puckering. “What do you mean, baby?”

“You know goddamn well what I mean,” Brooke says severely, and Kameron turns around, genuine confusion written all over her face.

“We’re just goofing around, Brooke, chill.”

“Oh?” Brooke says, raising her eyebrows and turning to look at Vanessa, who has an irritating smirk on her face. “Is this what goofing off looks like? Holding hands and sneaking behind staircases?”

“Aw, c’mon, baby, don’t be like that,” Vanessa soothes, and Brooke ignores her in favor of staring down Kameron.

“You aren’t allowed to be in here,” she says, pointedly adjusting her Head Girl badge. “Go back to breakfast before I report you to Visage.”

Kameron rolls her eyes, but she leaves without a fuss, darting around Brooke and into the hallway without complaint. Brooke has about two seconds to relax before Vanessa shouts again.

“Bye, Kamy!” Vanjie calls after her, and Brooke bristles, planting herself between Vanessa and her view of Kameron, the urge to make Vanessa look at her and only at her nearly overwhelming. Vanessa gives her what she wants, meeting her gaze full on, but the fact that she looks like the cat who got the cream completely ruins the effect.

“Hi, Brooke Lynn,” she says, voice sweet as her face splits into a smile, and Brooke refuses to melt.

“What the fuck, Vanessa?” Brooke asks, frowning. Irritation and jealousy are still churning in her gut, and keeping herself from just pinning Vanessa to wall and crashing their lips together is getting harder and harder. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I think I’m making you jealous,” Vanjie says simply. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“You think I’m jealous?” Brooke asks flatly, but she can’t help the blush that creeps up her cheeks. It only makes her angrier.

“Well,” Vanjie says, pursing her lips. “You’re bein’ awful cute right now.”

“Oh, am I?” Brooke says darkly, genuine irritation tugging at her gut. Why does Vanjie always think she can just--

“You are,” Vanessa says, and she walks forwards to tug on Brooke’s tie, a little. Her smile is sly. Oh. That’s why. “I missed you.”

“We talked yesterday,” Brooke says. 

“Yeah, about O.W.L.S.,” Vanjie says, a little peak of annoyance appearing in her eyes, this time. “Like we have for the past two weeks. I miss talking to you.”

“Clearly, you’ve found yourself a replacement,” Brooke says sharply, and Vanessa gives her tie a sharper tug, pulling her further into the alcove. 

“See?” Vanjie says, smug. “Jealous.”

Anger snaps in her gut, and Brooke gives into it, pushing them the rest of the way until Vanjie is pinned against the wall and Brooke is pressed right up against her, heat burning low in her belly. Her heart jumps a little at Vanjie’s tiny gasp, her own breath catching at the sound.

“Of Kameron?” Possessiveness spikes in Brooke’s chest even as she says the name, and she reminds herself that Kameron isn’t the one dating Vanjie, isn’t the one here with her right now, isn’t the one close enough to feel how fast her heart is beating.

“Yeah,” Vanjie says, voice low. Her smirk is infuriating and exhilarating and Brooke is so fucking turned on by it. “Her.”

Brooke cocks an eyebrow, possessiveness clenching in her chest like a fist unwilling to let go of something precious. “You’re mine.”

Vanjie raises an eyebrow back. She can’t quite get the smirk off of her face. “But how are they supposed to know? By hearin’ us talk about our scores in Charms?”

Brooke smashes their lips together. 

Vanjie responds eagerly and quickly, meeting Brooke’s hard kiss with her own force, letting Brooke bite her lip and burying her fingers in Brooke’s hair, her nails raking along Brooke’s scalp. Brooke moans into the kiss, running her hands all along Vanjie’s body, down her tiny waist and her hips and landing on the sides of her thighs, holding her there tightly. Vanjie presses herself impossibly closer to Brooke, her own hums of pleasure soft against Brooke’s lips.

Brooke breaks the kiss only to suck a red mark onto Vanessa’s throat, humming appreciatively as Vanessa’s fingers twist in her hair as she does. She pulls back to admire her handiwork, grinning at Vanessa with something like pride and satisfaction in her chest.

“No,” she says breathlessly. “They’ll know when they see this.”

Vanjie frowns at her, playfulness lighting up in her eyes. “You sure it’s big enough?”

Brooke raises her eyebrows.

“No,” she says, trying not to match Vanjie’s bright grin. “I’m not.”

send me a pairing, number, and letter!

[tellywoodtrash]

ebss 09.07.19 lb

is this jai's girlfriend? she seems as idiotic and immature as him.

kabhi naa chodne ke kasme vaade = she's gonna dump his broke ass in about 5 episodes.

sonali's here! she's literally the only character i like on this show right now so seeing her really brightens up my day.

are jai/sonali supposed to be twins? i kinda get the vibe that they are the same age.

anyway, sonali, bless her heart, gave all her money to jai. which was a grand total of 150 rs.

jai manhoos is like “itne ka main kya karoonga?????”

NIKAL L****, PEHLI FURSAT MEIN NIKAL.

god sonali take your money back from this fool.

rani still on maun vrat with di, and tbh, this is the smartest thing she's done on this show ever. reasons are stupid, but pooja really isn't worth wasting time with rn.

amma continues to be the only sensible person on this damn show, by telling pooja not to waste time messing with kabir. and in response pooja's like NO BUT HE'S THE ONEEEEEEEE WHO... ffs wtf are you 6?????/ he offered to get you justice AFTER you tried to set his father on fire, and tried to make peace once more even after that. you're the one who started this petty nonsense with him.

OK THIS BISH CRAZY. before she at least used to listen to amma's voice of reason, now she's just straight up doing the opposite. she's become absolutely not worthy of rooting for, unless in situations of misogyny.

what kinda next level of extra???????? this is beyond oberoi levels of extra also.

there's everyone's shocked faces, and then there's kabir's eyeroll reaction, lmao.

kabir toh has been getting out his rage by doing some phadda everyday, aaj dhruv ko finally outlet mila hai.

but in vain. kabir just hauled him away like:

valiant chachi trying to attack but lmaoooooooo, pooja's like "pls stop yelling; heart attack TYPES (complete with shoulder shimmy action) aa gaya toh ab doctor bhaaga bhaaga nahi aayega."

and also adds that chachi is very irritating and she doesn't know how she tolerated her for all this while. saalon ki bhadaas nikaal rahi hai, lol.

lol pls note how kabir is mad, but not disagreeing or stopping her from saying any of it.

lo bhai ab sabke saamne hogi inki tashanbaazi.

sikke dene ke bahaane haath is taraah kyun chua be????

"aapke chashm-o-chiraag, aapke secret agent, mr. kabir mittal ko maine apne yahaan naukri dene ka mann bana liya."

dhruv is like i did not know that was an option, or i too would have applied.

ohoho kyaaaaaa hi swag. just fuck and get it over with man.

lol mummy legit said "tum jaati ho ya main sach much ke pagalpann pe utar aaoon??"

kabir's like mom pls stop cockblocking can't you see we're doing foreplay here???? in any case, yes babe, i'm down to get dirty with you. in more ways than one.

i was on his side for this battle until he said "hum tehre paidaaishi rayeez" and now instantly i want to kill him too.

pooja sharma really living up to her namesake and giving appropriate response.

ugh. both of you suck. (BUT ALSO THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO TURNED ON AFTER TUSSLING WITH EACH OTHER???? Y’ALL NEED TO STOP WITH THIS SHIT.)

sab kabir ke oopar toot pad rahein hai. let the guy eat, unlike the rest of you, he's the only one who's done some shit today.

dhruv is probably like ‘i don't like how those two had more sexual tension in front of all of us in these 3 min than i had with her in our bedroom for over a year.’

elevator music playing in kabir's head as everyone yells around him.

HEY! NOT THE MITHAIS! THERE'S LIKE ONE BOX PER PERSON, WHAT THE FUCK, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DESSERT FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS.

oh boy, this is turning awkward. esp. with the reminder that pooja was his biwi. kabir pls keep that in mind and stay tf away from your pseudo-bhaabi.

apparently this is ~THE ONLY JOB HE COULD GET WITHOUT HIS CERTIFICATES~~~~~ areeeeeeeee you fucking kidding me???? 1. you already HAVE a job. which for some godforsaken reason you're determined not to do. 2. pls. you have like 5, 6 years of work experience. that counts more on the resume than any certificates. fuck outta here with this bs. just tell the truth: you wanna play these games with her, coz life mein aur kuch nahi bacha karne ko.

very pointed taunt on how will i handle your new sharaab waale kharche if i don't work, bitch, since you seem to show noooooooooo inclination to go to work yourself.  

dhruv at least has the decency to look embarrassed.

lmao after saying all that, kabir is like "main tumhe taunt nahi kar raha hoon." lol, sure.

he's asking everyone if they have any other brilliant 1.6 lpm jobs lined up for him that he can waltz into.

dadaji is like "tu theek nahi kar raha hai." this asshole only has objections, never solutions. chal na buddhe.

bir, out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daily sar pe haath rakhne ka quota has been filled.

i'm telling you bro, still not too late; go get your wife and kid and disappear into the hills somewhere.

mummy is like ........ why bro. honestly why?

ispe na jaane kaunsa bhoot sawaar hai badla lene ka. shaayad apne haraami baap ka.

also he fully admitted that job toh kahin bhi mil sakti thi, but he chose to work in her company. glad that’s cleared up in canon itself.

idhar amma is like y u lyk dis, you horrible child?????

um excuse me, tumhaari haraami family NE HI sab kuch bigaada hai uska. do you not know the whole story, or are you just closing your eyes to it??????

and this mummy, why isn’t she fessing up to what she really did???? sab ke sab haraami log.

kabir: main uske aas paas rehna chahta hoon. amma: maine kaha tha kabir ko khud se door rakh. pooja: main khud chahti hoon ke kabir mere aas paas rahe. amma: tu bohut bada khatra mol le rahi hai.

this is one fuckall petty hate story that's being made to sound like a mighty star-crossed love story. thanks, no thanks.

lord, just give up, moms. your kids are being fueled by the power of petty and not going to listen to you ppl and your logic and reason.

idgaf about these two's passionate promises to make each other's lives miserable. you know whose life you're making miserable with this bullshit? mineeeee, you fuckers.

haaaaaaaaye raja beta looks so good in white shirt. this right here is my kryptoniteeeeee. fuck my nonsense heterosexuality.

cute exasperation but mummy pays no heed. and has a mauli for him too.

"aapko border pe hona chahiye tha. yeh aarti karke dhaage baandhogi toh kisi ko kuch hoga nahi."

fuck outta here you cute fuck i don't want to like you.

mom's like as far as i’m concerned, you're going to the border only. meaning pooja sharma is considered more dangerous than full fledged armies/terrorists. lol good. fear her.

"arre waah ghar ki doodharu gai ki aarti ho rahi hai."

lmao man i am really liking sassy dhruv. he has so much more personality now.

passive aggressive back and forth, but honestly, i am enjoying. what even is happening to this show when i like dhruv's sada hua personality more than pooja/kabir? absolute pandemonium, that's what.

"is sab ka hisaab degi pooja sharma." hey man, fuck outta here. your brother was a loser even before she did all this. don't put this on her.

amma is cutely fussing over pooja eating breakfast.

hein? who has raj bhog for breakfast? and chocolate cake too?

a bitch with zero fucks to give, like rani, apparently. salaam to her fearless appetite.

the only time i like pooja now is when she shows her vulnerable/loving human side, that the old her used to exhibit only to amma/rani/shail/aarush.

btw, i like this outfit/makeup muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh better, but ouff that ghatiya mismatch of a neck piece. why?????

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precap: same shit, different day. how long are we going to have to put up with this??????