#BECAUSE Y'ALL AIN'T GETTIN' MARRIED

[eddis-not-eeddis]

My tolerance for rom-coms has hit an all time low. Every time these idiots are like, "Let's move in together, it's the most romantic thing a couple can do to show they love each other!" I just feel that smoker meme in my soul.

Marriage, folks, the thing you're actually thinking of is marriage.

There's nothing more romantic than swearing to spend your life together. But admit it, you're too cowardly to commit to any ACTUAL romance in your life. :/

[bellaxgiornata]

It's been awhile since I've written one of these dialogues, but here y'all go. As usual, it's below the cut, friends! (And I almost lost it after I had it all written so I am thanking whatever in the universe helped me save it 🙌🏻).

Matt, irritated: Was this really necessary, guys?

Frank, roughly clapping Matt on the shoulder: Yeah. It was. You've been hoggin' all Bella's attention for weeks now, Red. It got old hearin' about you all the time real fast.

Mikey: And she did say she wanted some help to stop thinkin' 'bout ya. Now she can.

Matt, straining against the restraints: But did you need to tie me to a chair? You don't think this is too far?

Frank, grinning: I kinda like it. Would be better if I taped your damn mouth shut, though.

Mikey, glancing at Frank: Ya don't think tyin' him to a chair is goin' to give her more ideas 'bout him though, do ya? 'Cause she has been thinkin' 'bout, well, usin' rope in a smut fic lately.

Frank, looking unsure: No it--it's just gonna keep him from tryin' to convince her to watch Daredevil again. And to stop writing so much for him. That's all.

Matt, sighing: Look, you guys are missing the bigger picture here.

Mikey, focusing back on Matt: Which is...?

Matt: If she's focused on me, she won't be writing for all those other guys. That weird vampire and that grumpy zombie killer. And that other Irishman who keeps shooting us cocky smirks over there because he knows she's thinking about him.

Frank, eyes narrowing at Matt: Yeah, but then she only writes for you. So nice try, Red, but it ain't happenin'.

Mikey, gesturing to Frank: I'm with him on this. She's written enough for your arse.

Frank, glancing at the other men sitting on the couch behind them with a disturbed expression: Though it is gettin' real goddamn weird how most of you look the damn same.

Daryl, glaring at Frank: Don't look at me like that. I look nothin' like the rest of these assholes. And I'd rather not be stuck here with any of y'all dumbasses. Rather fight a herd of walkers than listen to you three always fightin' like some weird married couple.

Matt, frowning: We do not.

Owen, nodding: You definitely do.

Henry: It's quite exhausting to listen to, actually.

Frank, angry: Well no one asked for any of your opinions!

Mikey, pinching the bridge of his nose: For the love o' God don't lump me in with these two.

[underground-boss-clay]

Feel free to ignore this but what’s it like dating Drayden? Like how’d you two meet, how did you realize that you had feelings for him?

As much as I'd want to-

If you don't even SORT OF answer this Clay I will HUNT YOU DOWN.

OKAY OKAY!! Gonna warn y'all now though, it's... A long story. 'Cause it ain't somethin' that happened overnight.

It's been mentioned here an' there, and Sigmund's existence sorta implies it, but I'd been married before. We met roughly thirty years ago, fell 'n love fast and hard, married, had a kid... Ya know, typical story.

Except at some point, when Sigmund was young... I don't know exactly what changed or when, but what she and I had before just... Well, it wasn't there anymore. And the marriage just became harder ta manage; I wanted to talk to her about it, see if maybe spendin' time apart could help before decidin' on somethin' more final, but--well, other things happened first. Sig ran away and rather 'n talkin' and partin' kindly, the divorce was... Bitter. 'S the best way ta put it.

And before y'all go "well what's this got to do with Drayden?" Don't ya worry, I'm gettin' there. See, all a' that happenin' right after each other left me 'n a bit of a slump, and I just--well, at the time I figured throwin' myself all into minin' was the best cure fer what was botherin' me. Except that meant that the Gym was mostly closed, and well. The League suffered a bit fer that. My receptionist called Alder fer help, and he called the only other person 'n the League at the time that I was friendly with. Y'all can guess who that was.

That ain't to say I was immediately thrilled at havin' Drayden there, but he didn't force me to say or do anythin'; hell, he didn't do anything but stand nearby till I almost passed out. When I next woke up, he'd gotten me back to my house and then laid into me. Not just about my actions 'n what happened, or that the Gym was closed, but more about how I didn't talk about it to people that were worried fer me. It didn't immediately change nothin', but it did give me things to think about. Eventually I reopened the Gym, and while he'd stop by now and then, we didn't actually... I didn't talk about things then. Naw, that happened when he adopted Iris.

As wise as the feller is, he didn't know everythin' about raising a kid right away; he called me to help, and so I did. An' good thing, because she was quite the handful as a little girl. But in the quieter moments, well... We started talkin' more. More often, and gradually more freely. Fer months and months, definitely a couple years, till one night at one a' them holiday celebrations... Well. We'll say that's when I realized it.

It... wasn't a completely happy realization, at first. After everythin' that happened with Celia, the idea of bein' in love like that again, only fer it ta fall apart... Well. I didn't like it. Tried ta swallow down the feelins fer as long as possible, but when that started causin' problems I learned from my mistakes and told him up front.

Findin' out that Drayden not only felt similar, but was also struggling with past experiences was... Well it weren't what I was expecting. We agreed to take things slow, and from there... Well here we are.

[orreanintrepidness]

"Jokes on y'all I ain't ever gettin' married unless someone asks me. Even more of a joke because if you ask, I will prolly laugh at your sorry ass because Orreans don't do that. Fuckin' overrated shit man. I'd rather spend that money on like, thousands of cigarettes."

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Like, in this episode alone, she goes through so much, and this is all AFTER that time she was possessed by a demon after accidentally killing the other person, died from an exorcism, came back as this remnant (whose entire existence is to feed), had to be treated like a prisoner by her best friend because she accidentally fed on her fuck buddy, escaped through the woods after she couldn't even be allowed to find a pedophile or a rapist to eat, and then taken by the worst demon dude...

This episode makes me miserable and I forgot how much. And even though the fandom had been small, there's still not enough sorrow spared for Suzanne. She wasn't some perfect character, but damn, Sis should've gotten a little more feels.

Everybody was too busy complaining about the so-called queerbating in the show. 🙄 Anytime the characters not gettin married by day 3, y'all cry queerbaiting, like we can't have queer relationships progress naturally in a program.

Anyway, lemme shut my Black ass up. Suzanne deserved some outcry, and duh - Raquel and Amy was wlw. Amy said her goddamn self THIS VERY EPISODE she don't be coming out with her feelings like she should. Of course she don't just let Raquel know she got real feelings for her. Shut up. Be upset about Suzanne.

She still ain't dead and probably went on to have a miserable existence.

Suzanne is such a tortured character. It's always so sad to watch her.