#BECAUSE LIKE. hold on. i knew lord huron before okay. i knew ends of the earth from the car commercial and the night we met from it blowing

[aturnoftheearth]

stranger next to me at red rocks 2025: so what brings you all the way out here to colorado?

me: well ummm. how much do you know about the cw’s supernatural .

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Dream smut or fluff where reader and him are high key mean to eachotjer despite having so many mutual friends, but then something (very vague i know I’m sorry) makes them have to get close and the develop feelings? Sorry I’m shit at requests but thank you!!!

i know this is shitty im sorry akjsdh bls forgive me

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚�� 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: dream being a dick, slight slut shaming, toxic behavior, vulgar/suggestive mentions and language, sexual harassment on a bus (not by dream, you can breathe)

⋆ song recommendation: When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

You pulled a blanket beneath your chin, yawning slightly at whatever the tv was playing. You only had it on in an attempt to drown out the noises coming from your roommate's bedroom as she smoozed her date. You were honestly shocked the two hadn’t moved in together yet with all the time they spent wrapped up.

Her door opened, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of you sprawled out on the couch. He marched toward you quietly, hovering over your shoulder. You peered up at her hesitantly. “What are you watching?” She asked, voice barely above a whisper. You furrowed your brows, opening your mouth to speak but she hurriedly cut you off. “Do you mind watching it at Nick’s instead?”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re kicking me out again?” She gave you an apologetic smile, making you roll your eyes as you stood up and pulled on your jacket. “This would hurt less if they also paid rent,” you mumbled, with a small glare.

She thanked you repeatedly, holding onto your arm as you gathered what little belongings you needed for the night. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she courted, opening the door for you. “Tomorrow, dinner’s on me okay?” You sent her a tired look and she apologized again. She stopped you as you stepped out into the cold night, leaning through the space between the door and the frame. “Maybe you can cozy up to that Clay guy? You guys have such a good vibe,” she mocked, making you chuckle lightly.

You shook your head, waving to her. “Enjoy your night. Please, for the love of God, clean the bathroom afterward,” you called, hearing her laugh at your statement.

The bus ride was quiet due to the time of night and the weather, both of which you didn’t mind. You knew Nick’s house would be warm and loud. Before you knew it, you found yourself in front of his apartment door, kicking at the concrete ground as you heard someone stumbling to let you inside. The door opened swiftly, Clay’s large frame blocking the light from the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe mockingly as he looked at you.

He wet his lips. “Who’s the lucky guy tonight?” He joshed.

You rolled your eyes, brushing past his body to get out of the cold. “Whoever’s dick you’re not sucking, I guess,” you quipped back, making him laugh darkly. You kicked off your shoes as he shut the door. “Where’s Sapnap?” You asked, shrugging off your jacket. You’d texted him ahead of time to ask if you could stay over, which he readily agreed to.

Clay sent you a smug look. “You guys have a fun night planned?” He made a gesture with his hand to insinuate you were there to give Nick a handjob.

You bit back a chuckle. “Why? You wanna join?” You shot back. He bit his lip and moaned pornographically.

“Cut it out, Dream,” Nick grumbled as he walked into the room. He pulled on your arm to follow him.

Dream scoffed exasperatedly. “Me? I’m not the one who started it!” He called after the two of you.

As Nick pushed you out of the room, you turned your head. “You most certainly did!” You answered. You heard him chuckle at your words as Nick shut the door to his room. You plopped down on his bed as he sat in his chair, swiveling to look at you. “Why does Dream pick at me so much?” You mumbled, fishing in your pockets for your phone.

“He’s jealous,” Nick answered absent-mindedly. “What's the date look like tonight?” He asked, referring to the reason you were there in the first place. This wasn’t the first time or the last time your roommate had kicked you out. It was becoming a more frequent occurrence for you to end up on Nick’s couch or at their place in the middle of the day with your toothbrush and a change of clothes.

You moved to lean into his pillows. “I don’t know, it's the same granola fucker she’s been hanging around,” you answered.

He rubbed his chin with a slight smirk. “There’s a subtle justice to knowing she’s still with that asshat,” he commented, making you snort.

A week later, you were on your way back to your apartment after a lecture when someone felt you up. It was the straw on the camel’s back for you as you spin around to smack the guy, stirring up a few of the bystanders. You’d walked the rest of the way home, stepping through the door to be met with your roommate and her hookup twisted together in the kitchen.

You clamped your hand over your eyes, mumbling about how you just wanted to take a nap when you were once again sent to Nick’s. You let subtle tears fall as you trudged your way across the city, hoping to get out whatever darkness you had to your attitude. The last thing you wanted to do was confront Clay looking like you did. He was like the troll with the keys to the bridge. That was really the only reason the two of you ever talked, so you knew he’d be waiting to berate you before you could get to Nick.

As you walked into the building, you spotted Clay carrying a large box, his hair slightly disheveled and his hands dirty. You knew almost instantly that he was probably attempting to fix the kitchen sink and got a call because of the size of the package. That sink had been dripping since they’d moved in, making it Clay’s mission to futz around with it every Friday afternoon. You tried helping him one time, only ending up with a deflated sense of confidence and the second wave of your childhood anger issues.

He nodded at you as you held the elevator door open for him. “What’s up, babycakes?” He chirped, popping his gum. When you hesitated to answer, he looked at you fully, scoffing. “Damn, walk of shame gone sour?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, inhaling deeply to try and calm your nerves. “I’m not really in the mood today,” you muttered, tucking your hands between your back and the wall.

He snorted, setting the box down between his feet. “You’re always in the mood! Isn’t that like your thing,” he continued to jeer. “You look like you had a fun night though-”

“Clay, stop. I’m serious,” barked at him. His expression twisting at your use of his name.

He raised his hands in mock defense. “Sorry, I thought we had---like a bit thing, um-” he cut himself off, awkwardly shoving his fists in his pockets. After a beat of silence between the two of you, the elevator came to a sharp halt on the wrong floor, the light switching to red. The two of you shared a look, knowing that the landlord was probably flipping the wrong switches again. Clay texted Nick to see what was going on.

It began to grow colder in the elevator, as it usually did. When it was off, the cold from outside usually seeped in through the elevator shaft. There was one time you were stuck in the elevator for a few hours with one of your neighbors and Karl when he had come to visit. Back then, the three of you played Uno on the guy’s phone. It was also summer, so the chill creeping up your legs wasn’t as intolerable as it was now.

You rubbed the arms of your sweater in hopes of generating some kind of warmth. Clay watched you carefully, his hands moving to grip the bar behind him. “Do you want my sweatshirt?” He offered. You shook your head, sliding onto the ground and hugging your knees to your chest. He hesitantly slumped down beside you, kicking his long legs out towards the door. The red light filling the space made his features look softer.

He nudged your arm gently with his own. “I know I’m not Sapnap, but…” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging slightly, “I mean, we’re stuck in here. We can talk about it.”

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill once again, your eyes burning and tired. “I haven’t slept with him, you know?” You stated, turning to look at him briefly before moving to sit cross-legged, planning with your fingers. “I’ve never even kissed him. I’ve never kissed anyone,” you scoffed. Clay was silent, but out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you intently.

Being this close to him, you could smell the smoky vanilla undertones of his cologne. The scent reminded you of a masculine version of the candle your aunt always burned when she went out for a night to spite her ex-husband.

Clay leaned his head back against the wood paneling, his soft blond hair flattening in the back to spread against the wall. You swallowed, sighing slightly. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and I’m getting groped on the bus and kicked out of my damn apartment because my roommate and her fucking boyfriend have to hook up on every surface. Nothing is sacred.” You shook your head, wiping away some stray tears with the back of your hand and sniffling pathetically. “You can keep making slut jokes, I don’t care. But I swear to God, I haven’t done anything with Sapnap. Or Karl, or Quackity. No one.”

He chuckled softly. “I know. That’s why I used to make those jokes,” he mumbled. “It was like… ironic humor. And then it got so far that the only way I knew you’d talk back to me was if I was fucking around with you,” he admitted. You chuckled slightly at his words, taking a deep breath.

“Oh, Dream,” you sighed. “I would have hooked up with you if you weren’t such an ass,” you chided. His laugh made you feel better. He held his hand out to you, more for support than anything, but as you laced your fingers with his, your heart eased, feeling safe beside him.

After a beat of silence, he spoke up again. "I can ride the bus with you now... if you want..." He offered, a shyness that seemed so foreign to his character shown through his eyes. "I promise I won't grope you," he joshed, making you roll your eyes.

"That's really not something we should be joking about," you mumbled, wiping away the rest of your tears on your sleeve.

His thumb brushed against the back of your hand soothingly. "I mask my awkwardness around you in dark humor. I'm sorry."

[reallybadfeeling]

My Obikin Playlist Masterpost Part 2

Not that anybody was really waiting for this, but here is the second part of the playlist with an explanation for each song. If you are interested in reading my rant on the first 20 songs, you can check the post I made last week HERE.

Without further ado, I'll leave you to my rant for songs 21 to 40.

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

❧ One in a Million - Midnight to Monaco

Tears fall like acid rain and it burns me through the skin It's taken everything from me, I've lost my innocence The bats brings the night today, watch them turn the sky to black Like a gun that fires that sound again Frightens me until the bitter end I can't keep holding on And I hide away I need it to keep me from breaking down And I'm under Baby I can't carry on, dead and I've been buried on Baby, I was one in a million Even if our love was strong, take me down and let it fall Baby, I was one in a million And I was holding, burning, waking, turning Tasting blood and losing time I want to get a hold of myself Baby, I was one in a million [...] And I need it to keep me from thinking I won't find my wings no more

This entire song is about how someone's life gets absolutely destroyed by drug abuse. Or at least, that's how I always interpreted this. But drug abuse always makes me think about any kind of obsessions doing exactly the same thing. So I love this song for Anakin in particular. That "I was one in a million" giving me this "Chosen One" vibe. Like he got lost on the way to what he was supposed to be, and now that he's fallen he has no clue how to get back to what he was supposed to be, that one in a million.

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❧ Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no, I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough [...] Every whisper, of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool [...] Consider this the hint of the century Consider this the slip That brought me to my knees, failed

Another classic song that is in basically any ships' playlist. And it fits so much with unrequited love (or pining in general). How can I not think of Obi-Wan trying desperately to be a good Jedi while he's well aware of his feelings for Anakin?

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❧ Hurt Me - Lapsley

Can't look at you the same way, anticipatin' heartbreak And I know, and I know, and I know I'm puttin' on a brave face to meet you in the same place And I know, and I know, and I know Gotta let my mind find another space 'Cause I heard these scars never go away And now I'm runnin' out of ways to numb the pain So if you're gonna hurt Why don't you hurt me a little bit more? Just dig a little deeper Push a little harder than before [...] Like breathing underwater, what's the law and order? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know You're sitting in a corner, hiding til it's over And it shows, and it shows, and it shows Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love, force me to drown Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love And I thought you said you still loved me [...] And I'm counting down the seconds that we have I can see the end in sight, at last So if you're gonna hurt me Why don't you hurt me a little bit more?

This entire song makes me think of one of those situations where both of them are pining and convinced that the other is about to tell them something that would end up breaking their heart. Basically first half is Obi-Wan knowing from the start that they won't work, maybe because he thinks Anakin is in love with Padmé and that's what Anakin wants to talk about; second half is Anakin, sure that Obi-Wan would deny having feelings for him because of how much he loves being a Jedi so he tries to be a better Jedi for the sake of Obi-Wan. Because I love the trope of both of them being too oblivious to realize they are in love.

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❧ The Shelter of My Love - Astropol

When you have nothing to lose No one dear and no one to care for Non one sees you but I do I'll take you in I won't let you go Oh the middle of the night Black as tar and eager to hold you Just as pretty as my love Just as hungry Just as eternal [...] When you have no bridge to burn No place to go, no place to return to No one loves you like I do I love you [...] When you have nothing to lose And nightfall comes, eager to hold you No one loves you like I do I love you I love you, I love you Oh shelter of my faith All the peril, all the weight Mighty glorious The shelter of my faith Oh shelter of my trust All the longing, all the lust God will help you if you lost the shelter of my trust

I'm perfectly aware that this is a song about faith. It's basically like a call to pray because even when you are lost the one person that will always be there for you is God. BUT, this actually works pretty well for the Jedi Order too. And if we think of how Anakin joined the Jedi, how he felt like the only thing he would lose is his mother, it kinda makes sense with these lyrics. And even Obi-Wan: he was given to the Jedi when he was so young that that's the only life he knows. At the same time, it can be about Anakin and Obi-Wan finding that solace in each other too, because sure, the entire Order is there to support them. But it's almost like it's their last option to them, because when in need the first person they go to is the other.

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❧ The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You should know me by now. If a song that is basically perfect for Obi-Wan post RotS, I'm gonna find it. And this one is just PERFECT! Like, Obi-Wan absolutely feels like he owes something to the universe because he is the one who failed Anakin, who allowed him to fall. So I imagine him wanting a do-over, a chance to stay away from Anakin so that Anakin can be better and his own heart can't be broken in such a terrible way. Basically, this is also perfect for a time traveler Obi-Wan trying to fix things from day 1.

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❧ Danger - JKAY feat Shola Ama

I'm a million reasons in And I'm going out on a limb But I can't, no I can't deny Cause I, I fell in love with danger And I think I found a stranger in you The boy that I knew, left me torn into two And I don't know what to do

Nothing fancy about this one, just Obi-Wan realizing there is a wild side to the cute, totally unable to flirt young teenager he took care of for so long. Basically something to write smut on. You all know you need these kind of songs too. (And I picked the acoustic version because it gives me more soft love-making vibes, but the original one is perfect for a more passionate kind of mood).

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❧ Amandoti - Giovanni Lindo Ferretti

Loving you makes me weary, guts my insides (It’s) Something that feels like laughing in tears Loving you makes me weary, it makes me sorrowful What can you do (about it), that’s life That’s life, my (life) [...] Loving you comforts my sleepless nights It’s something that replaces old dead flames Loving you comforts me, it gives me joy What can you do (about it), that’s life But (that) life is my life Love me once more, do it softly One year, one month, one hour (Do it) Hopelessly Love me once more, do it softly Just for an hour But let it be forever

I was forced to put the live version from the original composer in the playlist, but a couple of weeks ago I posted a link to Maneskin's cover of this song (which, isn't on Spotify). You can check it out HERE, with a full translation of the lyrics (yes, Italian songs will always be a thing for this playlist, get over it). Like I said in the tags of that post, this is just another one of those songs that give me post RotS Obi-Wan feels. Just him all alone and heartbroken wishing he could feel Anakin's love just once more. Simply perfection.

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❧ Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers

Hush now baby, there's no need to cry Let me wipe away those lemon eyes All your worries, such a waste of time You can't even see how much you're mine You're so bitter, bitter, bitter, yellow Settle, settle, got to settle down, okay Listen, listen, you listen, yellow It's a killer, a killer, a killer jealousy Lemon eyes, you're mine Yellow eyes, all mine I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away Honey you can't hide Lemon eyes, all mine

Do I even have to explain this? It's basically perfect for all of Anakin's issues with jealousy, but with what yellow eyes mean in this fandom it could absolutely be about Sith!Anakin. It's just such a fitting song for these two, with Obi-Wan trying to reason with a very unreasonable Anakin... (And I might have anonymously suggested to someone to listen to it as a good song for their fic. *coff coff* @tennessoui *coff coff*)

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❧ 10 Years - Daði Freyr

We've been together for a decade now Still everyday I'm lovin' you more If I could do it all again I'd probably do it all the same as before I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had had your love I didn't became myself before I met you I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had felt you love Everything about you, I like We started out so fast Now we can take it slower Love takes some time Takes a little time, so take a litte time As it ages like wine [...] And just when I thought that my heart was full I found place that I never explored You're so fascinating And I can't remember the last time I was bored [...] How does it keep getting better? Everyday our love finds a new way to grow The time we spend together Simply feels good We got a good thing going

How could I not put this song in this playlist? Like, it can literally be about how in the many years together, their love for each other grew and grew, and changed to get better with time. But it can also be just Anakin and Obi-Wan in an established relationship, since this is technically a song about a ten years anniversary. I just LOVE IT. It's super sweet and we all need fluff sometimes.

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❧ Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

It was always you there Dancing towards me Grabbing both my hands like Here we go, here we go again Maybe it was destiny We were so familiar But you caught me staring And I don't know, I don't know, I guess [...] And when you're near me I can't help but be under your spell Can I make you believe you're the only one I need? [...] It must've been something A switch in my brain It kept me in motion It drove me insane It must've been something Something you said You're pulling me under Holding me close Inside my head Oh, it's a different kind of love And when I see your face I know, I know You got me going Oh, and this could be enough I'm dreaming wide awake I know, I know

Classic friends to lovers AU song that works wonders with Anakin's kind of love, all obsessive and stuff. Definitely can picture teen Anakin pining over Obi-Wan to the tune of this, all awkward boners at absolutely inappropriate times and Obi-Wan never truly pointing it out, because he doesn't want to make Anakin even more uncomfortable.

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❧ Ruthless - GIRLI

Home? What's that? I got a doll's house with a few cracks Grew too tall, now I'm poking out the attic My feet are in the basement 'cause I never wanna hack it Life, what's that? Life, what's that? [...] Take my soul, Take me down Take me back to the beginning of this when I was still innocent Me, sorry who? I'm a kid in a grown-up suit Looking in the mirror tryna figure out who's Banging on the glass 'cause they're tryna break through Is it me? Is it you? Think it's me, wish I knew Take me, use me, screw me over Play me like I like losing Trip me, trick me, drug me Say you love me but you like cheating You're the only one to blame You made me this way Guess that's why I'm so damn Ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless Only way to do it When you break me and I lose it Oh, you made me You made me so damn fucking ruthless [...] Yeah it's tragic All the bad bits Made me so damn ruthless No, it's not me I don't wanna be Ruthless

Being a woman, I know perfectly that this song is about how sometimes women have to grow up to be mean because of all of the abuse they go throw in their life. But I kind of see Anakin as this person that would absolutely blame everyone else for his fall to the Dark Side and this works so well! Like, the doll house is a metaphor for how the Jedi Order was supposed to be his home, but in the end he felt like he was used, like the Jedi told him they loved him just to trick him into doing whatever they wanted, basically cheating him of a simpler life with his mom. And even the looking in the mirror thing could be when he's already in the Vader suit and he doesn't know if Vader is what he was supposed to be all along or somewhere inside him there's this young innocent child trying to get out. What can I say, most of the times I have Obi-Wan feelings. But every once in a while I find something twisted enough to give me Anakin/Vader feelings too.

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❧ All or Nothing - Wild Youth

I remember when we were younger We used to stay up late We used to watch the sun go down, the sun go down Yeah at night I, I think about ya How I spent so long living without ya You're all I need, the air I breathe So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing I'm a million miles away and I feel so low I've been driving all night just to get back home to you To you See the sunrise, it's a classi break Driving down roads that I used to take with you With you Every streetlight, new horizon Start to wonder if you realise Oh, we were vain, was more than friends So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing

Okay, this is kind of perfect for a very specific kind of AU. Like, the "they used to be childhood friends, then got separated by life, but they were always meant for each other, so after meeting once by chance after years separated, they can't go back to their life, they have to stay with the other" kind of specific AU. The song might work with how the Clone Wars kept them separate too, but... yeah. It's kinda specific. Sorry not sorry.

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❧ Someone Like You - Noah Kahan feat. Joy Oladokun

Guess I'm a mess now Lost with my head down I haven't heard from you in weeks You must have left town I can't go back now And all that I have now Are those feelings I felt Knowing that no one else can bring them back out And I've been trying to find a silver lining But I can't But I can't Now that I can't hold you I wish that I had tried to Do more not to lose you Now that I can't find you Because the second you left, yeah the voice in my head screamed "What did I do?" Now you're gone and all I want is someone like you

Once again, ignoring that this is a song about a couple breaking up after one of the two cheated because this is also perfect for Anakin confessing his love for Obi-Wan as soon as he's a Knight. He was sure that would make Obi-Wan accept his love and try to get in a relationship, instead Obi-Wan panicked and asked to get sent as far away from Anakin as he could. So of course Anakin is filled with regret about his confession.

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❧ Big Boy - Charlotte Cardin

Maybe if I spell it out Big boy will take me on proper You nailed my heart to your wall You never dusted off after [...] Maybe if I'm a broken wing Big boy in my nest You nailed my heart to your wall And disposed of the rest of me With your push and shove Like what's love ain't love But it's love to me My boy is not a man yet My boy is not a man yet But boy do I love it when you kiss my neck Oh boy last night was perfect You're changing my mind Like what's mine ain't mine Be mine to be Maybe if we try again Big boy we could have it my way You nailed my heart to your wall But it was damaged anyways

Another song to write smut to, but smut with feels. Mainly Obi-Wan's, that maybe feels like Anakin played with him just so that they could sleep together, but never actually tried to put a pin on what their relationship is supposed to be after. And Obi-Wan realizes that part of the reason is that Anakin is still so young and maybe he's the one that made a mistake. Like, he's not even sure that what he feels is real, but he still keeps following what Anakin wants because what is the alternative after all?

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❧ Home with You - Marie Dahlstrom

Happy to be home with you Happy to wake up with you Even after all that you've benne through Happy that you feel the same Hope that I can ease the pain Happy to come by 'Cause you just give me life And I love spending time with you It's easy when I want you like that I don't regret it even if you might think That I've got Plenty other reasons in my head Plenty other questions still unsaid Nobody knows where you'll go but I'm here [...] I don't understand it all Still I will accept your flaws Just the way that you're accepting mine No, I'm not really one to judge We can laugh it off because It's just one life for you and I and I know [...] Feels so good when it's You by my side I could just stay all night I could just stay all night I love the things you do Nobody knows where we'll go but I'm here Baby, whenever you need me Baby come over, baby come over Whenever you need I will always be by your side

This song can honestly fit multiple things. It can absolutely be Obi-Wan accepting that Anakin reaches out for him only in certain situations and him always being open to it, no matter how their relationship isn't really the traditional kind of relationship (like, a friends with benefits kind of deal). But it can also be Obi-Wan and Anakin getting together when Anakin is already Vader, so Obi-Wan is slowly falling to the Dark Side too. You can also just use this as another song to write soft love making too since it's so slow and soft. Or just do whatever you want with it.

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❧ Hands Tied - Beatrich

You got me home sick for your arms The arms that keep me close But you just slip though my fingers Like I'm tryna catch a ghost I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never ask I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never And you stand there Looking at me with my hands tied And how foolish Foolish of me to let this one slide I'm terrified The roots are way too deep And there is no way out You just stand there Looking at me with my hands tied

Huge vibes of Anakin being mad in love with Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan pushing him away because he sees Anakin as a brother, not as a lover. And there's all kind of pining from Anakin because of the unrequited love and he tries to do crazy stuff for Obi-Wan hoping he will fall in love with him but it fails... Yeah, that's the angst that hurts in the best way! (But, you know, can totally be reversed to Obi-Wan in love with Anakin in a canon scenario with Anakin married to Padmé.)

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❧ Same Bed - Lola Young

I'm too quick to judge, too fast to fuck If we're lonely and I'm No good in love, 'cause the last time I ended up a little dead inside Sorry I lied, I do not want you, no Sorry my pride's a little too high To let you know I cried when you said you had to go, baby [...] (whispered) Fuck then, don't do this to me now Don't say my name when you're talking to me Don't say we're on the same page Don't look away when you walk into me I like the pain, I like the pain I'm making it hard for you to move on And be lonely 'cause I'm So good with words that the last time I broke his heart [...] I got a bit drunk yesterday evening and I Told you some things I didn't mean, oh did I? Hate it, I hate it when I get complacent I love it when you pull that face and we make mistakes Utterly wasted And wake up in the same bed In the same t-shirt I told you I loved you in The same regrets Like wearing the t-shirt I told you I love you in [...] I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself Can't make a fool of myself, baby God, it's so frustrating, making such a fool of myself Gotta make do with myself, baby I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself You make a fool of myself, baby Let's overcomplicate it, maybe just lose ourselves

Back with the complicated relationship and the angst. Can see this in a canon compliant AU with both Anakin and Obi-Wan not really wanting to admit they are in love with each other, but somehow they always end up sleeping together, and telling the other how much they love them just to regret all of it the day after. Basically making things complicated for no reason other than Obi-Wan not wanting to break the rules/his belief that he's meant for infinite sadness, but also because Anakin can't give up on this twisted love despite how much it hurts him and being petty in trying to make Obi-Wan suffer just as much.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Ghost - Harper

Not putting lyrics here because this entire song gives me Obi-Wan on Tatooine post-RotS vibes. Like, he's literally on the planet Anakin came from, there to protect Anakin's kids. OF COURSE he sees Anakin's "ghost". Like, he sees so much of Anakin in Luke when he grows up. And it feels kind of fitting as a punishment for Obi-Wan to be slowly going crazy because he keeps being haunted by this image of Anakin around him. Literally this line: "why you gotta make me weak to make me stronger". That's Obi-Wan trying to get over this love for Anakin and realizing that he has to mourn and suffer before he becomes stronger and able to get free from this ghost's hold. (But, you know, Anakin's ghost might even be actually Anakin, in a scenario where Anakin is actually trapped inside of Vader and trying to get free by reaching out to Obi-Wan for help.)

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Qualcosa di Grande - Cesare Cremonini

What happened, you changed You are not the same Or are you still the one That grew up with me What happened, you ran away And with you so did my life I searched for it, I searched for it But I found it only in you There's something important between us That you can never change Not even if you want to But there's something important between us That you can never forget Not even if you want to What happened, you fell You fell too low and now you try to climb back up But it's a struggle you don't want [...] What happened, your light Your light is obscured By someone that I know And that took you away from me What happened, your star Your star eclipsed And now (I dare you to) shine from the darkness without me

Yet another song that gives me RotS feels. It's obviously a break up song, a song about regrets and struggling to move on. So of course in it I see Anakin falling to the Dark Side and Obi-Wan trying to remind him of what is between the two of them so that Anakin comes back to him. (If you want to read the complete translation, you can check it out here.)

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Dark Side - Phoebe Ryan

At your worst, you're the best Baby I don't want another version, no Hard to love, hard to trust But don't change Don't be a better person for me 'Cuz I'm in love with your dark side I'm in love with your dark side So don't turn on the light [...] Even if it hurts, I want you heart Even at your worst, I love you hard If you wanna keep me, go too far

Another song that is more of a both!Sith AU but also something Vaderwan would work honestly. I like the twisted nature of this kind of love so much in fics. Can absolutely works with any version of Anakin or/and Obi-Wan being the bad guy in the story.

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

All done! All 20 new songs I added to the original playlist explained away. Like last time, I hope you find any of this entertaining or useful. If any of this inspires your creativity, don't be shy and tag me on your stuff. I'll gladly read it/watch it/enjoy it.

[kyber-kisses]

September 18th

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: none, maybe some cursing but that’s about it. Begins during 4x01 Lazarus Rising.

Summary: Dean Winchester is the last person to ever believe in love at first sight, but when a hand hell’s pull him from the earth, he lays eyes on y/n, and everything changes. glimpses of memories are all that is needed to understand their story.

A/n: you guessed it! Another song fic! This one was based on Louisa by Lord Huron. Please enjoy! ( also its a hot mess so have fun!)

Song link: https://open.spotify.com/track/4BzUOXsZ3DqryXFi1bB5aV?si=C1tGnKhLS2WI9EZCI11gLA

When Deans soul was marked for hell, the last thing on his mind was falling in love. Even before that, he just didn't think it was in the books for him. He was a hunter, and he couldn't let himself go getting attached to anyone, and it also wasn't like he had found anyone that truly connected with him.

There would only be a small handful of people who would miss him when he was gone. He wasn't a celebrity among the hunter community by any means. Dean Winchester was just a shadow, a ghost moving through towns, solving cases and saving the day before anyone really knew what was going on.

He was just a nameless hero. He would go out guns blazing and that would be that. Life over.

Good for nothing is the name they'll remember me by Done nothin' with my life for no one, I'm just waitin' to die I turned my back on the world You know I'd given up on livin' til I met you girl

September 18th, 2008. That was the day you met Dean Winchester. The day your life changed forever.

It was supposed to be a milk run. Just a simple case, but when you came across the blast site you knew it was going to be anything but simple.

It looked like a bomb had gone off. Trees were knocked over like they were tooth picks, the earth dead and dry within the space. But what really caught your attention was the man laying in the center of the blast site. Chest heaving and covered in dark soil.

“Holy shit-“ you breathed, slipping your gun into your waist band as you raced across the ground.

He must have heard you coming, because once you were close enough, he attempted to lung at you, failing miserably due to his loss of strength from fighting against the coffin. You dodged his half-assed attempt, pinning him back against the ground.

“Who the hell are you?” He growled, trying to blink the remaining dirt from his eyes.

“I should be the one asking that. I just saw you crawl out of the ground.”

Then you came into my life with come hither in your eyes Pulling me outta the grave what a nice surprise I die when our nights end, but I only stay dead til I see you again

Once the dirt had left his eyes, Dean squinted under the blinding midday sun, trying to see who exactly had him pinned to the ground. It first it was just a silhouette, but then as his pupils adjusted he felt his breath catch in his throat. His struggle against you hold ceasing.

Your face was smeared with dirt from his sudden struggle, big y/e/c eyes looking down at him as the wind blew several loose pieces of hair across your face, the sun outlining you in an almost golden trim.

“Where am I?” He spoke slowly, for some reason finding it hard to break away his eyes from your own.

“Just outside of Pontiac, Illinois.” You informed him, your tone firm as you spoke, “now, once again, who the hell are you?”

“My name is Dean Winchester!”

That’s when you froze. Your grip on him loosening as you rolled off of him, “No offense, but you’re supposed to be dead.”

“Well no shit Sherlock.” He coughed, brushing off some more dirt from his clothes as he pushed off front he ground, extending his hand to help you up, which you accepted.

Once you were on your feet, Dean was finally able to tear his eyes away from you, suddenly scanning the surrounding area.

“Who are you and what the hell happened here?”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. . . And the hell if I know. I heard rumors of a blast site outside of Pontiac and came to check it out. Sounded weird enough.” You admitted, quickly pulling your hair into a low pony tail as you talked.

“Why?”

“I’m a hunter. Weird is kinda my thing.” You shrugged.

When he looked back over to you, he felt his heartbeat pick up suddenly. He blamed it on his adrenaline from crawling out of the ground. He didn’t know you at all, and he found himself drawn to you like a moth towards flame.

I lie awake in the night just to see another dawn Used to be the sun was my weakness but them days are gone I feel your lips on mine Will you meet me by the river, baby, one more time?

“Am I ever going to see you again?” He asked slowly, leaning back against the car you had helped him jump start, eyes ever so slightly lighting up.

He didn't understand it. He had known you for maybe three hours now, and he was completely entranced by everything about you.

You gave him a surprised look, fishing into your back pocket and pulling out a poorly folded sticky note, you jotted down your phone number, passing it over to him with your index and middle fingers. “You've known me for what? three hours? and you’re already asking for my number? You really don't waste time do you Winchester?” You mocked, backing up towards your vehicle and flipping your keys.

“Its not like that!”

“You keep telling yourself that, Cowboy. Good luck out there!” slamming your drivers side door shut, you revved the engine before putting the car in drive and taking off down the empty stretch of back road, but not before blowing the jade eyed hunter a kiss.

Once again, At that time, Dean didn't know how much you would effect his life. The two of you would run into each other so often that you finally both agreed that it must be fate. A deep friendship blossoming from being the one to pull him free. And he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you each time your paths crossed. Eventually you just stuck around, and that made his heart and the very bones in his body shake.

September 18th, 2008. That was the day Dean Winchester began to believe in love at first sight. Because that was the day he met you.

I'll give you what you wanna have, I'll take you where you wanna go I'm the only man you'll ever need, girl, and now you know I'll write your name on my skin, as a promise that we'll never be apart again

“Damn it, y/n! You just had to barge in guns blazing didn’t you?!” Dean huffed, tearing the mid section of your shirt to take care of the new gash in your abdomen.

You let out a burst of light laughter, amused by his worry as he popped open the first aid kit, “You guys were getting your asses handed to you. It was just a couple of werewolves.” You breathed, wincing as Dean rubbed an alcohol wipe across the wound, not caring for gentleness. He was mad at you. . . Again.

“Yeah, a couple! Look at you! Your bleeding out!” He snapped, his hands working fast to clean and close the wound.

“No need to get so upset-“

“Well it’s a little late for that sweetheart!” Slamming the kid of the kit closed, he gave you one of his famous death stares. One of which you got way too often.

Swallowing, you pushed yourself into a sitting position, “I’m sorry, Dee. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” You mumbled, eyes begging for his forgiveness.

Deans shoulders fell along with his face as he let out a sigh. The anger was now gone, quickly replaced with concern and worry. Instead of pushing up from the ground like he normally did, he leaned over, pressing his forehead against yours, “I know, I know. I’m sorry I got mad. I just freaked out when I saw you hurt.” He admitted.

“Well, I’m okay because of you. You saved me. . . Yet again.”

I feel alive when I'm with you, baby So tell me that I won't ever be lonely again Don't wanna die I wanna wander the world with you And no one else for the rest of my days on this earth

The sound of the bunker door opening, followed with a string of laughter told Sam that you and Dean had just returned from the supply run. It was always the same each time you returned.

Closing the laptop in front of him, he turned in his seat, watching the two of you descend the metal stairs, arms full of grocery bags as you continued to laugh.

“I’m guessing the supply run went well?” He mused.

Dropping the bags on the table, you looked at the younger Winchester with wide eyes, “Dean slipped and fell on the ice outside!” You blurted, doubled over in laughter once more as Dean sidled up next to you, shaking his head as a massive smile took up his features.

“Alright, get your laughter out.” He grinned.

“He’s a total klutz!” You wheezed.

Rolling his eyes, Dean stepped forward, wrapping his arm around you and throwing you over his shoulder in a fireman's hold “Alright, you and I are gonna go and have a talk.” He chuckled, beginning his walk down the hallway.

“Oh, are we?” You mocked, your voice fading as the two of you disappeared into the depths of the bunker. Another burst of laughter echoing down the hall before being cut off by a slamming door.

A small smile tugged on Sams lips as he turned back to his work. Ever since you had come into his brothers life, Dean had seemed happier, more full of energy and life, even during hunts and hard times. He was grateful for you. They both were.

I turned my back on the world I wasn't always like this, girl Do you know what loneliness does to a man? Turn him into the walking dead I may have died but your lovin' raised me

“You stubborn, stubborn idiot!” You whispered harshly, falling to you knees next to a very unconscious Dean Winchester, “you just had to go and get yourself knocked out.”

The case had been going fine. Hell, it had been going great. Two hunters. Two vampires. Halfway through your fight with them, your partner had to lose focus, resulting in him getting his head slammed into a door, rendering him useless for the rest of the fight. Luckily you had taken the second one down with ease. . . But now You had a 180 lb mass to take care of.

Taking the loose flannel that was tied around your hips, you quickly tore it down the middle, being careful as you went to wrap it around the gash on his head.

“You stupid, stupid idiot.” You sighed again, taking in deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself.

“Would you quote calling me stupid and stubborn?” He groaned suddenly, green eyes fluttering open to look up at you.

And then you slapped him, the sound almost echoing through the empty barn, resulting in a light yell from Dean as he grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell!?”

“That was for not listening to me, and getting yourself hurt!” You snapped, before quickly pulling him upright and into a hug. “Don’t do that!”

“God, you’re insane. . . and I am completely in love with you.” Dean sighed, resting his hand on the base of your neck before pulling you back down to his lips.

I feel alive when I'm with you, baby So tell me that I won't ever be lonely again You saved my life I just wanna repay you in kind Ain't no one else ever tell you you're beautiful, girl?

He didn’t know how long the two of you had been sitting there, but one thing was for sure; he didn’t want this moment to end.

You and Dean had been sitting on the hood of the impala for what felt like hours, watching the sun set behind the trees. What used to be a lovely apricot sky, was now a deep navy blue, almost black. The star scattered sky felt like a blanket laid across the earth, and neither of you could bring yourselves to go inside.

Tearing your eyes away from the heavens, you looked over you shoulder at Dean, a light smile on your lips, “Didn’t you bring me out here to ask me something. . . Like a few hours ago?”

“Yeah, yeah . . . But if you want to just keep looking at the stars, that’s fine.” He grinned, his hands still deep in his coat pockets as he fidgeted with the small item tucked within. Unfortunately you quickly caught on to his uneasiness, sliding over the hood of the car and turning your body to face him.

“Alright, what’s going on?”

He wasn’t good at these sorts of things. . . Then again, he never really had done anything like this. It didn’t help that you made him a nervous wreck. You were so beautiful and badass. You rendered him speechless more times than he cared to admit.

Slowly he took his hand out of his pocket, opening his palm to show you the ring resting in the center. It wasn’t elegant by any means. In fact, Dean had made it from solid iron.

His nerves only grew when you didn’t say anything. After a moment he felt your fingers graze the skin of his palm, picking up the small piece of jewelry.

“Did you make this?” You breathed, turning it over in your hands as you looked at it, the moon giving off enough light to allow you to see it properly.

“Yeah. I know you don’t do fancy, so I made it out of iron.” He explained, watching a massive smile light up your face. That was a good sign, right?

“Dean Winchester are you asking me to marry you?” You smiled, quirking your eyebrow as you smiled at him.

“Been meaning to for awhile. . . But yeah, I am.” He nodded.

His heart stuttered in his chest when you moved to open his palm, slowly surrendering the ring to him once more. “Y/n, wait-“

“I think you should do the honors.” You smiled again, extending your fanned out fingers.

Dean let out a sigh of relief, shoulder instantly relaxing, “oh thank god. I thought you were saying no there for a second.” He breathed, taking your hand so he could slide the cool band over your ring finger.

“I could never say no to you.” You smiled, gripping his hand in yours as you looked over at him.”But I do have one question, there was something engraved on the inside of it, what did it say?”

“September 18th.” Dean spoke plainly, squeezing your hand, “Because that’s the day I met you. The day I started to believed in the love at first sight. . . It’s also the day I plan to marry you on.”

I feel alive when I'm with you, baby So tell me that I won't ever be lonely again Don't wanna die I wanna wander the world with you And no one else for the rest of my days on this earth

The End.

SPN Taglist: ( Still open)

@familybusinesswritingbro​​​​​@a–1–1–3 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @music-is-all-i-need @agusdoti​​​​​ @callmekda​​​​​ @jordangdelacruz​​​​​ @orphiceseum​​​​​ @andthatsmyworld​​​​​ @marvelfangirllll​​​​​ @fandomnerdespressourself​​​​​ @gladiosamicitias​​​​​ @castielsangelsx​​​​​ @lxstgxrl-ck​​​​​ @tis-i-the-wayward-idgit​​​​​ @amendoise​​​​​ @phoenixuprisingsstuff​​​​​ @ericalynne007 @kaitlaitlaitl​​​​​ @neerness​​​​​ @totallyluciferr​​​​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​​​​​ @dolanfivsosxox​​​​@supernatural-ocs @emptycanvasposts​ @akshi8278

[yikes-xander]

000:00:00:00

PLAYLIST ANALYSIS

This is actually me just rambling about my thoughts on each song and why I chose them for this specific playlist rather than like.. an actually good and smart sounding in-depth analysis sorry :/

When I Met You - Ethan Nestor

There are many reasons I chose this one! Mostly the lyrics, but Ethan also sings it so it’s extra fitting for the playlist, especially as the opener.

“When I met you my life was blue, I was so lonely / You took me by surprise” The channel came into my life at the perfect time. I was feeling low, in my last year of high school, struggling with thoughts about the future. It especially helped me through quarantine. Every day I felt like quitting, giving up on putting effort into school/not graduating, but I had something to look forward to every day too, so I pushed through.

“Now you're gone from my life / I'm adrift on the sea” Once the stream ended and the channel was gone, I didn’t know how I felt. I felt sad, but also something I’ve never felt before. After watching Ethan’s video yesterday, hearing him explain he felt the same way, I felt so relieved. I think this lyric kind of describes how I feel now honestly, just kinda numb? Like I’m lost. I’m working on it.

Another Night - Story Untold

More of a light-hearted one now! To me, this song made me think about how good it felt to be a part of the audience.

“Here we go for another night / Another night goofing all around” Everyone (the audience, Mark, Ethan, etc.) having fun every single day? *chefs kiss*

“Laughing 'til our stomachs hurt / And I can't let this moment pass me by” Once again, made me think of all the good times that were a part of the channel, and all the good feelings they gave me.

“So here’s to a night we’ll remember / This is a time we never wanna forget” I think this is kind of self-explanatory? I don’t think any of us want to forget Unus Annus. Personally, it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever had the chance to see happen and be a part of.

100 Bad Days - AJR

This song just gives me good vibes, UA gave me good vibes, it had to be on the playlist. I don’t have much else to say about it.

History - One Direction

This song kind of reminds me of Ethan and Mark separately and UA as a whole. Because like,, they make a great team, they have a lot of history (friends for a long time, Ethan was a fan of Mark before that, etc.)

“You and me got a whole lot of history / So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever” A year is a long time but also feels like no time at all. Sometimes I wish we had more time for UA, but I’m glad I was here for what we got.

“This is not the end” Unus Annus is something I’ll never forget.

Dopamine - With Confidence

Maybe also kind of self-explanatory? Dopamine makes you feel good!! UA also makes me feel good. And the song talks about losing it too so.. yeah

This Is Home - Cavetown

I’m not exactly sure why I felt so drawn to this? But the vibes are immaculate.

“Are you dead? / Sometimes I think I'm dead / 'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head / But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet” after the stream vibes anyone? Or is it just me? I stayed up way too long after it was over. Too many thoughts head full

“Time is / Slowly / Tracing his face / But strangely he feels at home in this place” Unus and Annus,, the Boys of Time babey!!

Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer

Again.. The VIBES are IMMACULATE. It’s just a sad song for a sad time.

“Too young, too dumb / To know things like love” I’m just a stupid boy who got emotionally attached to a channel whose whole purpose was to DIE and I’m sensitive about it.

All I Wanted - Paramore

Lyrics make me do a Think

“Wake up early to black and white re-runs” colors of the channel,, thinking about all the vids,, the memories :(

“I could follow you to the beginning / And just to relive the start / And maybe then we'll remember to slow down / At all of our favorite parts” this entire verse?? Oh my god. Absolutely *chefs kiss* I think we all know what I mean and like,, why it gives me UA vibes

The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

This song just gives me like sad nostalgic vibes so I thought it fit well.

“... you only hear the music when your heart begins to break” the timer reaches the end and the ticking stops? Heartbreaking, that’s all

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Another song thats just,, sad so it fits

“Love of mine, someday you will die” we knew from the start the the channel would literally die when the clock stopped,,

“It's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon / In the blackest of rooms” shut up I’m mourning someone hold my hand

“I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black” death goddess Amy vibes

I’ll Always Be Around - Waterparks

“If you died I'd hope you'd haunt me / Because you know I'd miss you bad” we all love UA so much!! And miss it a ton already

“I'd never I'd never I'd never get you off my mind” it’s always thinking about Unus Annus hours

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

There are multiple lyrics in this song that just make me remember we only have our memories of the channel left

“Our every moment, I start to replace / 'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say” the vids are replaced with only memories, replayed over and over

“Well, time can heal but this won't” I’ll be sad about this forever mind ur business

“But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face” the very last moment of the stream? Amy and Mark looking at the camera, Mark’s lil smile, Ethan looking back at the clock as the last few seconds tick by? AAAAH

Scarlet Cross - Black Veil Brides

Heard this and immediately reverted back to my middle school self but that’s beside the point.

“... you can't deny / The end is coming, the end is coming” we knew from the start that the channel would die

“Will we live? / Will we die? / Just keep on saving our goodbyes” There were points where people were theorizing that the channel wouldn’t actually end, there were clips near the end where the clock reversed by a few seconds, etc. need I say more?

“Hold onto me, and I can't let go” we’re all mourning, we didn’t want to say goodbye I know I’m not the only sad one

Body - Mother Mother

This song just SCREAMS Unus and Annus vibes I think we can all agree

“I've grown tired of this body / Fall apart without me, body” Unus and Annus are just entities using Ethan and Mark’s bodies,, they know their time is up so they have to leave,, the LORE it makes sense okay leave me alone

Here Comes the End - Gerard Way (ft Judith Hill)

At this point I’m just listing lyrics that I vibe with that remind me of UA and also make me sad but that’s because I’m dumb and I don��t know how to express myself or explain my thoughts oops

“The time is running out / The days are moving fast” literally every day after each video,, seeing the clock tick down? My HEART she hurt

“The clock is moving / Hands to midnight / Can we get through this?” For me, the stream ended right at midnight so THE VIBES I was sobbing

When Can I See You Again? - Owl City

“Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you / Go see the world 'cause it’s all so brand new” this lyric remind me of the vid where they were in the desert and they just looked at the stars and had a nice talk it was so wholesome I love them

“It's been fun but now I've got to go / Life is way too short to take it slow” Unus Annus is gone but we all have to remember to live, do what you want with no regrets.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

This one is another pretty self explanatory one honestly

It’s also just a vibe like a lot of the other songs that’s all I have to say about it

Safe and Sound - Capital Cities

This song just radiates such good feelings man oof

Unus Annus felt like such a safe lil bubble for me?? Like,, Mark and Ethan did dumb shit because they WANTED TO I felt so validated like,, I also would do dumb shit if I could that probably makes no sense but I love them so it doesn’t matter

Happiest Year - Jaymes Young

This one absolutely BREAKS MY HEART

“I'm here to admit / That you were my medicine” yall,, UA was the only thing that kept me going and I'm not afraid to admit it

“Thank you for the happiest year of my life” literally the only thing that gave me serotonin oops :/

“So wake me up when they build that time machine / I want to go back” do I need to explain? Even though this year has been shitty irl, I would relive it in a heartbeat

The 3ND - Story Untold

I know this is a breakup song,, but hear me out

Some of the lyrics FIT and it’s my playlist I can do what I want shut up

“I never wanted what we had to end / But now it's over” once again,, no need to explain

“I know we had our dreams and we had plans… / That now it's time to let go” this just makes me think of the video where they talk about the video ideas they had but never filmed or just didn't post,, the CONTENT WE COULD'VE GOTTEN i'm sad

Still Remembering - AS IT IS

These boys.. My fave band of all time but also literally all their songs have immaculate vibes

“My heart's as heavy / As these nights are long” this gives me after the stream feels,, I stayed up way too long after it ended I couldn't sleep because I was sad :/

“Can you tell me what hurts more / Is it remembering or forgetting?” The whole chorus just hits me so hard man I'm so scared that I'm gonna forget unus annus because my brain is shitty even though I know I won't? I’m deadass getting a tattoo as soon as I can

Take Me Away - With Confidence

This song just makes me think about how UA was kind of an escape for me? And a lot of people yknow sometimes you just need to get your mind off of this happening around you and UA was really good for that in my opinion

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Once again saying I would relive this year if I had the chance

Unus Annus was one of a kind, no one will ever be able to recreate it

Where’d All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog

A year sounds like such a long time but it goes by way too fast

Also I think Amy had this on her instagram story after the stream? I don't remember but THE VIBES

This December - Ricky Montgomery

Why do so many ricky montgomery songs have UA vibes? Idk

“Well, this December, I'll remember / Want you to see it when I do” UA ended in november,, we’ll remember in december and forever it FITS

“It’s just a little bit, It’s just a little bit / Lonely in this home / It’s always colder on your own'' honestly now that UA is gone there's like,, a void and I'm sad (I keep saying that but it's true so..)

When You Die - MGMT

Maybe this is the song Amy had in her story after the stream? Again,, I don’t remember

I think this one is also pretty self explanatory

Except I was feeling A LOT when the channel died but I’m glad the team was also kinda in their feels a bit yknow? It made me feel better about it

Good Times - All Time Low

“Underneath the stars we came alive / And singing to the sky just felt right / I won't forget the good times” once again,, that stargazing vid? IM CRYING all the vids gave me so much serotonin I loved them all and each day was such a good day

“I'll hate the goodbye” I don't need to explain..

“Middle fingers up, ego trip / Devil may care but we didn't mind” the chaotic vibes of the channel is what sucked me in I live for chaos that's what this lyric makes me think of

Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers

I don't think I really need to explain this one because,, just listen to the song and you'll get it but I'll just list some fave lyrics of mine

“There's nothing I can say / There's nothing we can do now” end of the stream vibes for sure

“And all that stands between the souls release / This temporary flesh and bone / We know that it's over now” Unus and Annus vibes

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

This is one of the songs that I hear a lot in like edits I see on twitter and stuff associated with UA and I Get It the vibes are so good the song is so good I love it

“Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you / I need you here to stay” one of my fave lyrics and also just,, makes sense I miss UA

As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

Another song that's in a lot of edits and stuff that's also,, amazing and MAKES SENSE the vibes!!

“And here it is, our final night alive” the STREAM

“You put your finest suit on / I paint my fingernails / Oh we're going out in style babe” Our boys,, Unus and Annus in the suits and eths painted nails? An absolute LOOK

I just love this song so much its so good and makes me so sad

The End. - My Chemical Romance

This song is just So Sad

And the heart monitor beeping in the beginning?? Reminds me of the clock ticking my heart is BROKEN

If you actually read all of this? I love you!! This was 6 pages so thank you for sticking through and listening to all of my dumb thoughts

[nekoannie-chan]

The night we met

Pairing: Brock Rumlow X Reader.

Word count: 1674 words.

Summary: Something went wrong in the last mission, something that completely changed his life, Brock doesn’t know how to overcome what happened and continue with his life.

Warnings: Some smut references, death of a character, nothing explicit.

A/N: Flashbacks are in italics.

This is my entry to @imma-new-soul​ ‘s Jay’s 550 followers writing challenge and to @angelinathebook​ ‘s Lena’s 300 followers writing challenge with the song prompt #1 y #5:

“The night we met” by Lord Huron.

Also is my entry to @ugh-supersoldiers‘s Gracey’s 5K Challenge with prompt #6:

“If you could feel what I feel when you walk into the room, everything about ‘us’ would change”.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog. 

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

 Brock was sitting on the floor, he saw the bottle in front of him, and there were also the photos, some of which were taken at your wedding, many of your dates, others of special moments in your relationship.  

He knew that at the time he should not get drunk, he had another obligation that needed him, but it was very difficult to continue with that pain.

It hurts so badly, he didn't know how he was going to get over it, he didn't feel able to continue, he was very angry because everything changed, the plans that you had now made no sense.  

It supposed you will be old together, you were going to have several children and they would see they grow up, but Werner von Strucker came to ruin all the plans, even though they had captured him, it wasn't enough, he wanted revenge, he needed to make he pays for destroying his family, but his teammates wouldn't let him, they claimed he would pay, however, they didn't understand what you meant to him. , nothing would be enough to make up for what had taken away from him.

 I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met

 He could remember in great detail how you knew each other, both had entered as recruits for S.H.I.E.L.D.  

 You used to be away from the rest of the recruits, almost always alone, you seemed very shy, he used to always be chatting with one of his teammates.

That's precisely what caught Brock's eye on you, he didn't understand why someone as beautiful as you wouldn't want to draw attention.  

He felt lucky when he touched them on the same team in the first practice. 

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you introduced yourself by extending your hand. 

"Brock Rumlow," he replied by holding your hand. 

You were a great team, you always gave the best results.

The first time he asked you for a date, he'd never felt so nervous before, for a moment he thought you were going to turn him down, he walked into the office you were working on to invite you in.  

"Do you want to go to the fair?” He invited you. 

"With you?” You asked distractedly.  

“Yes... Well... forget it, never mind,” he retracted.

You blinked a little, you finally understood what Brock had asked you.  

"I'd love to, as long as it's just you and me," you answered.  

He smiled a little, the nerves were gone.  

"Only you and me, Saturday at seven o'clock, I pick you, okay?”  

"Perfect.”

 And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do

 He looked up a little more, in a chair, was the first stuffed animal he had given you, the face you had put in made it worthwhile, it had been a successful first date.

 "Do you want some of those stuffed animals?" he asked when you walked past one of the stands.   

"Do you know how to play it? I'm too bad for those games," you said.  

You stopped in front of the post and paid.  

"Which stuffed animal do you want?" he questioned.  

"That dog," you pointed out.  

Never before had he felt so pressured to win a prize, he played and won it, he immediately gave it to you, you looked like a little girl. 

"Thank you, you're very skillful," you thanked him.

You kissed him, you barely grazed his lips, but that was enough for him.

 And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you

 Your kisses, he was going to miss them, your body, your caresses, everything from you.

 He needed to know if you two were in a relationship to know how to behave, if it was just an adventure, would set aside your feelings. 

"So what are we?” He asked.  

"Aren't we in a relationship? I thought that...” 

"We've never talked about it before..."Then I have to assume we're nothing or we can be in a relationship if that's what you want,” you figured.

He kissed you.

 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

 He felt it was all his fault what happened, he must have insisted that you stay at the Compound with Wanda that day, if he could return the time, he would prevent you from going on a mission. 

 You were lying in bed after making love, you had your face hidden in his chest, while he hugged you with one arm and with the other hand caressed your hair.  

"Marry me," he said suddenly. 

"Hmm?”   

You raised your face, you weren't sure what you heard. 

"I know it's not the most romantic way, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he continued.  

You smiled, you passed a finger over his chest. 

"Are you sure? I can be very unbearable," you answered.

“If you could feel what I feel when you walk into the room, everything about ‘us’ would change.”

You bit your lip, you knew he couldn't stand the intrigue. 

"I don't think you're very convinced.” 

 "I am more than ever, do you want to be my wife?" he asked again.  

"Yes, but only if you give me my engagement ring," you answered, laughing.

"I'll buy you the one you like the most," he promised. 

He kissed you and you made love again.

 I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

 He stroked his wedding ring with one finger, what was he gonna do now?

He saw your wedding photo, it was one of the happiest days of his life when he started thinking that he should do things right.  

He took the picture, for him, you had been the most beautiful bride in the world in that dress.  

Sometimes you used to dance to the song that had been your waltz at your wedding.

 You were married for four months when he decided to tell you the truth.

 "I have something to confess to you," he said out of nowhere.  

You looked at him with doubt, even though you kept muddying the jam on the bread you were having for breakfast.  

"Are you cheat on me?" you questioned trying to stay calm. 

"What? No! I couldn't do that to you.”  

"Ah... then it can't be worse,” you answered calmer. 

 "I'm HYDRA," he finally said.  

You dropped the bread out of your hand. 

 "What? Oh... Brock...”  

What were you supposed to do? You never suspected he was the enemy.

"If you ask me I'm going to confess everything to Fury, I don't want to lose you, first listen to me, there's a good reason for this...

 You had heard and supported it, in the end as promised he confessed everything to Fury and even helped dismantle the organization enemies, yet many enemies had been gained. 

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears

 When you announced that you were pregnant, he immediately prevented her from going on more missions, he didn't plan on taking any chances, finally, he was having the family, he had always wanted.

One night you got up when you heard noises, they came from what would be the baby's room, when you walked in you saw Brock opening boxes with the furniture that would be in the room.  

"Brock, isn't it very fast yet, I mean, I'm only three months old," you asked. 

He turned to see you, he didn't think he was making so much noise.   

"Everything must be ready by the time the baby gets here," he replied.

 And when the little girl was born, he didn't care if they saw him crying, it was promised that he would protect his daughter from any danger.  

Tears fell again when he remembers when the doctors told him that you were dead.

 When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

 “Brock…”

It hurts a lot, he crouched down to check your wounds. 

“Y/N... wait... help is on the way," he said. 

"I don't think...”

”Shh... everything will be fine, they're on their way," he repeated.  

He was trying to stop the blood loss, but you'd already lost too much. 

"I love you, tell our daughter that I love her too, please take care of her, take care of her, please, I’m sorry….” 

He tried to keep you from talking to keep you from running out of energy. 

The wait in the hospital had become eternal, as soon as he saw the doctor immediately rose.  

"I'm sorry, they didn't make it," they informed him. 

 "Did they make it?" he asked.  

The information was like a bucket of cold water.

 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

 You were three weeks pregnant, he couldn't help wondering why you hadn't told him yet, what he didn't know was that you were going to tell him the night that you came back from the mission.  

He wiped away tears when he heard the door open.  

"Daddy?" the little girl came into the room.  

"Hey princess," he replied by opening his arms to get him closer. 

The girl ran to hug him.

"Sorry, she got away," Wanda apologized coming in.  

Brock beckoned her that he was fine.  

"Mommy doesn't love me anymore?” The little girl suddenly asked.

"What? Why do you say that?” Brock questioned.  

He had asked not to tell him anything that had happened, he wanted to explain it to him himself.

"She didn't come back," she replied.  

"Your mommy loves you, do you remember Lucky?”  

"Mom's dog? Yes, he liked me to give him my candies.”  

"Mom and Lucky are together," Brock explained.  

"In heaven?”  

"Yes, from there they're going to take care of us," he continued.  

"Why didn't she say goodbye? We're not going to the park on Saturday anymore?" the girls asked distraughtly.

Brock sighed, it was harder than he had thought, and he had been promised that all three would go on the weekend.  

"In a little while we'll say goodbye to your mommy, don't worry, you and I are going to the park," he told her.  

He got up and carried her, it was time to go to your funeral, it was going to be very difficult, he kept feeling that his world was collapsed, he would give everything to go back to the day he met you and avoid making all the mistakes, he would be able to do anything as long as you were alive.  

However, he couldn't let himself be beaten, his daughter needed him.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met 

[black-ice-and-flame]

“Somebody loved me?”

Part Two of what I’m now dubbing, ‘The Love of the Forgotten’ series

Summary: S/O has a memory-erasing quirk and they use it on; shinso/shigaraki/dabi to make them forget they ever existed after dying in battle. The memories only being restored with photographs or videos

Shinso’s part

Word count: 5,223

Inspiration: The Night We Met by Lord Huron

WARNINGS: Alcohol abuse, a little gory (not excessive though), character death, mentions of abuse, and self-harm

Under the cut! I hope you enjoy the next installment of pure angst  

They loved him

Their Tomura. 

They knew he was going to be important to them the first day they met. Mainly because he really did change every aspect of their life. 

“You came!” F/N launched themselves off the swing they were on and into their best friend. They wrapped their arms around the little boy who stood there stiffly, not moving his arms to hug back, hands shaking. 

F/N had hoped Tomura would show up today, it’s been exactly three days since they last saw him. They had only met two weeks ago but the shy boy had already become a big part of F/N’s life. 

“You have more bandaids today.”

F/N subconsciously tugged down their sleeves further, grasping their fabric around the chain of the swing so even their hands were hidden. Wanting to ignore her gravelly-voiced friend's comment. 

“I tripped over one of my toys again. It’s fine Tomura-chan.” 

Tomura lips thinned into a line, he gripped tighter onto the chain as he tried his best to keep his pinkies off it. 

All For One had let him stay here while he ran errands nearby the park. Tomura initially never thought he would speak to anyone, but for some reason, he was drawn to F/N. 

He didn’t really know why. Maybe it was the fact that they were by themselves too. Or it was because of the look in their eyes. A vacant but sad look that should be foreign on a child’s face but looked at home on theirs. 

Tomura knew the secret they hid behind their fake smile and cheery demeanor. He may be young, but he’s been through enough to see similar signs he showed himself. 

F/N’s parents abused them.

“What do you think?”

Tomura came out of his thoughts to F/N looking at him. “I wasn’t listening,” he mumbled and was ready to get a reprimand or an eye roll from F/N because of his absent attention. 

They surprise him again, instead of the yelling he used to get from his father. 

“It’s okay! I asked if it would be okay if I came over to your house? So when you can come out to play I can come to you!” 

“No.” Tomura’s answer was quick and short that it F/N stopped their swinging. ‘Mast-” He turned his head away, “You can’t come over.”

F/N didn’t bring it up again the rest of the time they played together.

“When are you gonna come back?” F/N asked kicking their feet, the sun was starting to set behind the two kids, casting their shadows in front of them. 

“Whenever I’m allowed.” Tomura wished he could come back every day. Meeting F/N had been the one small source of light in his current life. 

“F/N!” 

Tomura watched as F/N;s whole face dropped. They stood up immediately and he watched in slight confusion as F/N stood in front of him, almost as if they were protecting him. 

F/N’s dad stalked over to them as F/N’s mother stood a few feet away, arms crossed over her chest and lips turned down. 

“You were supposed to be home an hour ago! Do you understand how much time we wasted driving around to look for you?” F/N’s dad reached down and grasped both of their wrists in his hands, dragging them closer. 

“I’m sorry dad,” F/N whispered. “I just wanted to stay with my friend.”

Tomura had never heard F/N’s voice like that before... 

So afraid. 

As F/N’s dad grabbed their shoulders and started shaking them, insults spewing from his lips, Tomura stood up slowly from the swing. The seat falling to the ground behind him with a thunk from having disintegrated the chain attaching it.

“We should’ve never had you. If you were a boy maybe you’d be at least tolerable-” F/N’s dad cut off with a horrifying scream of pain and F/N felt their dad’s right hand disappear from their shoulder. 

F/N’s eyes widen and backed away as they were nudged by an elbow. They kept their eyes trained on the back of a black-haired head. Tomura?

Tomura stood in front of F/N with one hand held out in front of him. His red eyes were crazed and wide.

“Don’t come near them ever again or next time it won’t just be an arm,” Tomura growled.

F/N’s mom dashed forward already crying for her husband, trying to help him get up. She looked at Tomura with tear-filled eyes, “you monster!” 

“You’re the monsters! Who shakes their kid like that?” Tomura’s whole body was shaking in anger. He took a step towards F/N’s mother who flinched back while keeping a grip on her husband. 

“Tomura.” The voice was small and the hand that grabbed the back of his shirt felt even more so. 

Tomura looked over his shoulder and swallowed back his anger at F/N’s teary eyes. He turned his back on F/N’s parents, hearing their mom cry as she helped her husband back to the car. 

F/N stood beside him now, his sleeve wrinkling between their clenched fingers. 

“Let’s go,” Tomura mumbled to them. 

F/N looked at him as more tears fell from their eyes, “b-but my dad.” 

“I’m not letting you go home.” Tomura huffed watching as F/N’s mom pulled away. “Not if they’re going to be there.” 

F/N sniffled and let go of his shirt and for a second Tomura felt his chest tighten in fear, thinking that F/N would run after their parents. 

But then they linked their pinky through his, just so they could have skin contact with him. 

“L-Let's go.” Even though F/N’s voice trembled they still had a determined look on their face. 

Even after Tomura had gained better control of his quirk F/N still kept the habit of linking their pinky through his. 

F/N stood next to him as All For One talked him over the plan for attacking U.A. in a few months.

 Over the years they’ve watched Tomura grow from a quiet but caring soul into something twisted and warped due to his foster dad’s influence. F/N tried their hardest to keep him from going too far and thought they succeeded. 

Though hearing him so eager to infiltrate U.A. and cause some destruction made F/N realize that maybe...

This isn’t where they should be

“There’s still time to change your mind about this you know?” F/N ran their fingers through Tomura’s light hair.

Tomura looked up from the handheld game into F/N’s eyes. “What are you talking about?” 

F/N bit the inside of their cheek and cleared their throat before continuing. “The plan All For One has, breaking into U.A.? You can change your mind.”

Tomura lifted his head from F/N’s chest, eyes narrowing as he looked at them. “Why would I do that? Master’s finally given me a chance to prove myself, that his training hasn’t been for nothing.” 

F/N could see him getting worked up and grabbed onto his sleeve, squeezing his arm gently to try and calm him down. Another habit F/N still had from childhood, grabbing onto Tomura’s clothes. It was both for a sense of security and for Tomura to just know that things were okay, that he was okay. 

“I know,” F/N said as they twisted the fabric of his shirt between their fingers. “I’m just saying you don’t have to do this just because of him. We can always just, we can leave still Tomura.” 

“Leave?”

F/N nodded their head vigorously leaning in closer to him. “We can just get out of here, we can go do our own thing. We won’t have to follow anyone or do anything we don’t want to do.”

We don’t have to be this way. Was the underlying meaning they were trying to get him to see. 

“How can you think like that?” Tomura rasped out. “Master was there for me when no one else was and he saved you from your-”

“He didn’t save me Tomura,” F/N cut him off, letting their hand cradle his face. “You did.” 

Tomura leaned into F/N’s touch but still looked unsure about what they were saying. 

F/N dropped their hand and let their forehead rest against his. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

When he nodded F/N closed their eyes and pecked Tomura’s lips softly. “I love you.” 

They knew Tomura wasn’t really one to be very affectionate but they liked when he showed them small bits of affection. This time being burying his face into F/N’s neck and wrapping his arms around their waist. He was already wearing his special gloves, for holding his handheld earlier, so he didn’t hesitate in pressing his hands flat against F/N’s back. 

As F/N stroked his hair they couldn’t help but think of a life where they were able to run away and live the life they wanted. A life of peace, a life without the possibility of Tomura becoming a villain. 

But F/N knew happy endings like that didn’t exist.

“Do you know why I asked you here?”

F/N laced their fingers together, hands resting in their lap, trying to look anywhere but at the deformed face sitting across from them. 

“No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.” F/N bit their tongue to keep from saying more. They had never liked Tomura’s foster father, not after it was clear that the man had other motives for taking Tomura in as his own. 

“I’ve heard that you’ve been putting ideas in Tomura’s head. Doubts,” All For One’s voice was calm but F/N could hear the edge behind it. 

“I just wanted him to know there were other paths for him to choose. Choices to make for himself and not for you.” F/N was scared in All For One’s presence, but they weren’t going to let him see that. 

All For One chuckled, “I’ve taken Tomura in when no else would. If I had left him there they would’ve locked him up and treated him as a villain already.”

“As if you aren’t grooming him to be one,” F/N glared as the leaned back in their chair, crossing their arms over their chest.

All For One smiled cooly, “I even let him bring you in, even though I had a suspicion from the beginning about how you would turn out. I could’ve made Tomura send you home to your parents but I didn’t. Wasn’t that gracious of me?” 

F/N was silent just staring as the man rose from his seat slowly walking around the table before stopping right next to F/N. 

“When Tomura came to me last night, talking about how he wasn’t sure he was ready for the attack on U.A. I knew it was your doing.”

“Why did you bring me here All For One?”

“I think you know already,” when he rested his hand on F/N’s shoulder they immediately wanted to shrug it off, but they were too wrapped up in the thought of what they knew was going to happen. 

“You have two options, one I take your quirk for myself and turn you into one of my experiments. I can easily tell Tomura that you ran away, betraying him.”

F/N stared down at their fingers, clenching them together tightly as they whispered, “or?” 

“Or,” he continued. “You can use your quirk to erase yourself from his life, every aspect of you, your influences, aspirations for him. It will be like you never existed.” 

“How long till I leave,” F/N already knew this was going to happen as soon as they were warped here. 

“I want you gone by tomorrow morning before he wakes up. Considering how your quirk works I don’t see that being a problem. Then Tomura can get back on the right path I’ve made for him.”

F/N wanted to protest, wanted to scream their lungs out that they deserved more time with Tomura before they left. In the end, they just hung their head as hair fell in their eyes and hugged their stomach. 

When F/N was warped back to the bar they didn’t look up from the ground, not even when Kurogiri spoke. 

“I will try my best to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.” Kurogiri wanted to at least give F/N that. 

F/N mumbled, “he’ll still be hurting himself by being a villain. I wanted to take him away from this. I wanted-” 

“He would’ve never left in the first place.” 

“You don’t know that.” F/N left for Tomura’s room. They wanted to see him now more than ever. They would burn every moment of tonight in their mind to make sure they would never forget it. 

As soon as F/N stepped in the room they had Tomura’s immediate attention. 

“What did master want with you?” Tomura sat up from his mattress with narrowed eyes. F/N new that their traveling to see All For One wouldn’t be kept from him. 

“He just wanted to talk about the future, involving me.”

F/N gave him a small smile, lowering himself onto the bed and looking toward the screen. “This a new game?”

When they grabbed the control from him Tomura would usually protest but there was something in F/N’s face that made him pause. 

“What did he really talk to you about?” Tomura pressed. 

F/N chewed their lip trying to focus on the game, wanting a distraction. F/N was afraid if they didn’t hyperfocus on something else they would burst into tears. 

“F/N.”

They could feel their hands start to shake, not noticing they had already lost the game minutes ago. F/N just stared blankly at the screen. 

Then they felt tears run down their cheeks. 

“Damn it,” F/N’s voice cracked as they reached up to wipe the tears away but they just kept coming. 

Tomura reacted immediately and captured F/N’s face in his hands. His eyes were wide and his fingers rubbed over their cheeks. 

F/N found comfort in that gesture even if his skin was rough. It was something they were going to miss. 

“What happened? What did he say? I can do something if he hurt you,” Tomura knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against his master but he wouldn’t let him hurt F/N. 

F/N decided there was no point in not telling him when he would have to forget by tomorrow. 

“I have to leave Tomura. I can’t, I can’t stay here anymore,” F/N whispered. “Not when I have to watch you become something like this.” 

“It’s all I was made for, it’s what master’s trained me for. I thought you understood that.” Tomura frowned. 

F/N shook their head, resting their hands over his. “That’s the thing, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to follow the path he made for you. You haven’t even given yourself a chance to forge your own.”

Tomura snatched his hands back and looked away, scratching absentmindedly at his neck. “It’s because I’m not ready to walk my own path. That’s why I have Master to help me. I thought you would eventually help me, but you want to leave?” 

F/N knew Tomura was beginning to panic, which made this all the more painful. They grabbed his hand gently and dragged it away from his neck. F/N wondered what happened while they were gone, usually, they were the one who helped keep Tomura from scratching hard enough to draw blood.

Who would help him when they left?

“I’m sorry. I’m probably just too worked up from talking to All For One. Let’s sleep,” F/N wrapped their fingers around his and squeezed softly. “Please?” 

Tomura wanted to push for more information but figured if he did it would just upset F/N even more. He could always ask what happened in the morning. 

When he moved to lay down F/N felt their shoulders slump in relief. They moved and laid down next to him. 

“I love you Tomura.” 

Tomura rested his head on the same pillow as F/N’s so they were practically nose to nose. His hand reached to grab onto their shirt, dragging them closer. 

F/N knew they should’ve done it there. They could’ve done while they wrapped their arms around his back, grasping onto his shirt themselves. They could’ve done it when they buried their neck in his shoulder. But F/N still wanted to be able to help him one last time. 

It was a familiar routine for both of them. Almost like clockwork. F/N even started waking up beforehand. 

Tomura curled up in a  ball against F/N, rocking back and forth as he held his hands over his ears. The sounds from his nightmare still lingering in his ears. He wanted, no needed, to block it out. 

“Erase it, please.” 

It was the only time F/N ever hears Tomura say please. The only time they ever see his tears. 

Tomura looked up, his red eyes were watery. “Make it go away...” 

F/N murmured soothing words to him, letting their fingers run through his hair, “it’s okay, I’ll make them go away. I’ll make the memories go away.” 

It was that moment that F/N knew it was time. So with tears of their own, with their fingers still tangled in their lover's hair, they erased themselves. It was like they were physically seeing the memories of them being shattered like a glass window.  

With a heavy and shaky exhale F/N leaned down and pecked his forehead. “It’s okay,” they whispered. “You can sleep now.” 

Tomura tugged F/N back down to lay with him, clinging more than before. F/N clung back just as tight, holding back more tears.

When it was early in the morning they packed up what little belongings they had. Making sure nothing that could disrupt what they’d done was left behind. F/N stared at the picture they had in their hands, one of the only ones they could manage to get of Tomura and them together. 

They were going to miss him... 

F/N looked down at the one person in their lives that they knew they could count on to be there. Where else were they going to go now? They kissed the crown of Tomura’s hair and walked out of the bedroom, hugging the picture to their chest. They didn’t spare Kurogiri a glance as they walked out and left the bar. 

Leaving the only source of love they’ve ever known behind. 

FOUR MONTHS LATER

“F/N!” 

F/N looked up instantly at the panicked voice of their coworker. Shota Aizawa. They didn’t know how they managed to be able to get the job they had. Maybe it was just due to the pity the pro hero had felt when they found F/N, either way, they would be forever grateful. Being his teacher assistant made F/N feel a bit more fulfilled in their life. Even if the hole would never fully heal. 

“Someone broke onto campus, we need to patrol the grounds let’s go.” 

F/N didn’t hesitate in following, the worst thoughts flooding their mind. The main one being, was Tomura finally here? Did he manage to get in? 

F/N didn’t want to have to face their former love but knew that when things came down to it, they had too. They had chosen their alliance and knew it was the right one. 

They were more than relieved when they found out it was just the media, but a glance at the front gate made their heart drop into their stomach. They recognized the ash left behind from the usage of the owner's quirk. F/N swallowed back the bile in their mouth. 

Should they tell them? They had to warn them right? Thought a part of F/N’s heart still wanted to be in denial, wanted to deny the thought that Tomura was going through with All For One’s plan. 

Those thoughts stayed with them on the bus ride to the USJ. The chatter of the students falling deaf on their ears. 

F/N was only dragged out of those thoughts by a voice. 

“Miss L/N, can you tell me more about your quirk?” 

F/N looked into the sparkling curious eyes of Izuku Midoriya. They had admired the boy for his dedication to knowing information about multiple quirks. 

“Of course Midoriya, what do you wanna know?” F/N smiled softly. 

The boy immediately opened his notebook and start scribbling before asking his questions. “So you can erase people’s memories?” 

F/N nodded, “yes, I’m able to erase memories and ideas from people’s minds.” 

“Do you have to know what the memory or thought is to be able to erase it?” Izuku asked glancing back up. 

“Yes, I can’t really erase what I don’t know,” F/N said with a chuckle. They waved off Izuku’s embarrassed murmuring. 

“That’d be cool to be able to erase stuff from people’s mind,” another student with a wide grin said, Kirishima. 

“Yeah, you’d basically be able to rehabilitate villains right?” Uraraka asked. 

F/N shrugged their shoulders, “I’ve never had the opportunity, but I’m not sure I could do something like that. There’s still the drawback aspect of my quirk.” 

“I’ve been meaning to ask what that was,” Tsuyu asked raising a finger. “What is the drawback of your quirk? We’ve never seen you use it so we haven’t really had a chance to guess.” 

F/N was glad the students were curious about them, they were so hesitant about taking the job because they were sure kids wouldn’t like them. 

“The drawback is that if an image or video of the memory is seen by the person I erased it from, the memory will be restored. So let’s say I, uhm,” they stumbled for a second, “erased the memory of a person from someone’s life. Even if they were to see that person face to face they still wouldn’t recognize them.” 

Izuku furiously scribbled down every word as F/N continued. 

“It specifically has to be a photo or a video of them shown for the memory to be restored.” 

“Huh, I wonder why it is that way,” Tsuyu wondered as a ribbit fell from her lips. 

“Enough questioning,” Aizawa said from the front as the bus stopped. He stood up, “we’re here.”

What came to follow was like a horrible nightmare come true for F/N. 

One glance of the swirl of purple and black made F/N freeze in place. The sight of a pale hand and a blue head of hair popping through the warp hole almost made F/N faint. 

F/N knew they couldn’t hesitate, so when Aizawa lept into action they were far behind him. Their quirk was great for a physical fight, but they had been taught how to fight properly by some of the best teachers that U.A. had to offer.

F/N punched a villain to knock them out and looked up just in time to see Tomura run toward Aizawa. Their eyes widened and they ran towards their boss and former boyfriend. 

“Aizawa!” F/N shouted leaping through the air and pushing their boss out of the way. F/N felt a hand grip theirs and they barely had time to look up into a pair of red eyes before they felt the pain. 

Maybe it was Karma for all those years ago? F/N wasn’t sure but as their right arm disingrated they fell to the ground at the feet of Tomura. A shower of blood and viscera exploding around them.

“You got in my way,” Tomura’s voice growled. 

The voice F/N registered for many years with love and happiness was now foreign to them. F/N couldn’t hear anything else but a ringing, their vision slowly fuzzing like t.v. going out. 

The last sight F/N saw was of Tomura leaning over them and a hand outstretched. 

WEEKS LATER 

As Tomura walked away quickly from Izuku Midoriya, hands stuffed in his pockets he got a slow manic smile on his face. His face twisted crudely. He finally was able to understand, his vision of a distorted future forming in his mind. 

He never paid attention to anyone around him, but as he walked out of the mall his eyes caught sight of an old and faded posted of a child. Tomura stumbled a bit and growled softly as a pain shot through his skull. 

Tomura knew he had to get out of here quickly, so he walked faster until he got outside. But then he saw the large television screen, the news reporting on the death of a hero from a few weeks ago.

Usually, he enjoyed the sight of another hero falling, but when their picture flashed on the screen he immediately clutched his head with eight of his fingers. His head was burning like his mind was on fire. 

As he tripped over his own feet walking back into the bar all of it came flooding back. The memory of soft hands cupping his face. The feeling of lips against his. Hands that grasped at his clothes, a warm smile and soft words. And shockingly, there was love. 

“Ah, you have returned, I suggest you’ve made a decision?” Kurogiri.

“What happened to them?” Tomura spat out looking at the man behind the bar.

“What happened to who Tomura?” Kurogiri’s eyes narrowed. 

“F/N, what happened, what did you all do to them?” Tomura couldn’t control himself anymore and slammed his hands down on the counter. The material of it starting to decay. 

“Calm yourself,” Kurogiri said lifting his hands. He didn’t want to become Tomura’s next target. 

“Calm down? What happened? What did you and the master do?” Tomura asked his hands starting to dig at his neck, nails scraping against his skin. “Did you get rid of them because you thought they were going to keep me from doing what you wanted?” The words F/N spoke to him were echoing in his head. 

You don’t have to follow the path he made for you. 

“It was for the best,” a voice spoke through the screen. 

Tomura snapped his head toward the sound of his master's voice. “For the best? They could’ve stayed, they could’ve helped, then I wouldn’t have-” Tomura started scratching harder at his neck. I wouldn’t have killed them.

"They were trying to deter you from our plans together Tomura, ones that we’ve been training for your whole life.” All For One felt no remorse in his decision, even if it ended up with F/N dying at Tomura’s hands. 

Tomura just stood there, not saying anything, still scratching at his neck and ignoring the blood flowing over his fingers at the scratches. He didn’t say anything else and when he lunged toward Kurogiri the warp villain thought he was going for him, but Tomura moved past him and grabbed a random bottle of alcohol. 

“I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” Tomura snapped as he uncapped the bottle and threw the cap aside taking a swig from the bottle. “I don’t want to hear from anyone.”

He didn’t wait for a reaction as he walked out taking another drink, his other hand still scraping the skin of his neck. Tomura pulled up his hood and ignored stares he got as he drunk straight from the whiskey bottle. 

Tomura didn’t want the memories back but they wouldn’t go away, no matter how much his balance deteriorated, or how slurred his mumbled words got. He had stopped scratching his neck for a while because he was to preoccupied with trying to drink enough for the memories of F/N’s smile and loving eyes to erase from their mind again. He wanted to get rid of the last moment they saw them, underneath his own hand, it crumbling away. It just wouldn’t go away. 

As his unsteady feet moved without his knowledge he felt sticks crunch under his feet and he glanced up, squinting to clear his vision. When he realized where he was he wanted to throw up the contents of his stomach. 

Tomura kept his eyes trained on the old and rusted structure, the long-forgotten chains swaying in the breeze. The seats were cracked from years of use, but for Tomura it still brought up the same feelings. 

He stumbled over to it slowly, swaying, he finally managed to get to it and plopped down on the seat. Tomura finished the last swig of the bottle, his head was whirling and the world around him spun. 

“Would it be okay if I came over to your house to play?”

Tomura glanced at the swing next to him and the ghost of a child F/N sat next to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Tomura never cried in public, he only ever cried with them.

“You came!” 

Tomura remembered how it felt when they jumped off that swing, their arms wrapping him up in a hug. F/N was the only person who seemed happy to see him at that point. They were never afraid to touch him. 

“I love you Tomura.”

Now it was an adult F/N, their eyes holding nothing but love. The hallucination reached out their hand and Tomura immediately thrust out his own toward it. When his hand passed through the obvious facade is when the tears finally fell. 

“I’m sorry,” he rasped out. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he sobbed. 

Somebody had loved him, actually truly and genuinely loved him. And he killed them. 

“I love you,” Tomura said out loud. The words were strange rolling off his tongue, but he didn’t care. “I love you F/N L/N!” He shouted as more tears poured from his eyes. 

Tomura sat there for a few more hours before slowly standing up. Knowing he had to leave before anyone around the area woke up to see him. He turned and stared at the swing set behind him. He let one hand rest on the arc and wrapped his fingers around it. 

The swing fell apart under his deadly hands and Tomura watched it crumble. Everything from here on out was going to be done for F/N. 

It all started with a swing. 

Tomura didn’t know why All For One had left him here. Surrounded by all these other kids. He glanced at hands, his fingers curling inward. With one touch he could’ve ended any one of their lives. 

“Hi!” 

He looked up to a pair of bright eyes and blinding teeth. 

“I’m F/N L/N! Come swing with me!” He didn’t even have an answer formed before they grabbed his wrist and dragged him over toward the swings. 

Tomura watched as the rest of the structure broke apart and fell to the ground. 

It would end with a swing. 

[shuahoonie]

ragnarok. [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 

SUMMARY: you and tom used to be something, even if it was never acknowledged. however things change, and people change. so what happens when you bump into him after avoiding each other for years? 

WARNINGS: swearing! lowkey sad lol! some cheesy scenes! sexual innuendos! the ever so classic ‘bffs pining for each other’ trope! lol

WORD COUNT: 4k ish lol

SONG INSPO: the night we met - lord huron // do i wanna know (cover) - hozier 

A/N: ok so i have a lot to say so bear with me!!! one, i have put off writing for quite some time now, well publicly that is, so this may come out like shit. next, the title has no correlation to this fic, but do you guys remember that one line in thor: ragnarok when thor was about to meet the grandmaster? the one when the soothing voice says, “where once you were nothing, now you’re something.” yeah... that’s how i got the inspiration for the title and the prompt mainly. you’ll know what i mean lmao. also, i was heartbroken when i wrote this ok? and it’s been sitting on my drafts so i might as well just put it out there right? heh. enjoy i guess.

gif credits to @peteparkrrs

“Where once you were something, now you’re nothing.”

You groaned and whipped your head back in frustration as the blank page from your laptop practically screamed at you. You didn’t know why you were writing-rather trying to write, a piece that wasn’t for work, nor why you were in the coffee shop that you perfectly avoided for the past two years. 

One thing’s for sure though, you felt like a whole other being just took over you and started to pick up things that you stopped doing a while ago.

“This is a hundred steps back from what I’ve been achieving,” You sighed to yourself. You stood up to order a cup of iced coffee this time. The green tea lemonade wasn’t really working out and you know your body craves the caffeine more than ever.

Not really paying attention to the barista, as you were too busy eyeing up the selection of pastries, you started giving them your order out of sheer reflex. “Hi, can I get a medium iced-”

“Oh, hey, Y/N! I haven’t seen you here in a while.”  The barista greeted you. You looked at the person who cut you off and realized it was the owner of the cafe herself.

“Oh, uh, hi Alyssa!” You greeted her shyly. You weren’t expecting to see Alyssa, especially when you’re trying your best to not be reminded of the past, but it was also quite foolish of you to think of it that way since she owns the place.

“So, same as always?” Alyssa asked you, in which you just nodded shyly. “Okay, so that’s a medium iced latte with caramel shot and a spinach and feta hand pie, yeah?”

You let out a soft smile, admiring how Alyssa still remembered your usual order. “I can’t believe after all these years, you still remember my order.”

“Of course, you were a regular,” Alyssa answered while ringing your order at the till. “I haven’t seen you here in a while, though.”

You cleared your throat, though you were expecting that you’re going to get asked this question eventually. “I was traveling for the past year for my work and I also had to force myself to find a place downtown since it was much closer to work,” You explained as you reached for your wallet. 

It was mostly true though, you moved to the centre of the city because the north side was too much for you. Too many familiar faces, too many memories.

“Well it’s nice that you still remember this place,” Alyssa smiled. The cafe was the gem of the Northside. It’s a local cafe located near the library, usually, you’ll find students who are in deep with studying, couples on a date, business workers who just stop by for a quick cup of coffee, or just old friends just meaning to catch up. “Oh and don’t worry, this one’s on me.” 

“Aly, that’s not really necessary,” You said, waving your one hand in dismissal while the other was ready to hand Aly your payment.

“Y/N, it’s totally fine! Think of it as a token of appreciation, yeah?” Alyssa reassured and you just smiled sheepishly, totally flustered.

Alyssa handed your order and in which you graciously thanked her. Aly just laughed and said that it was the least she could do. 

There was a small pause. Aly asked, clearly hesitating, “Hey, so, I’m not sure if this is too invasive and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I haven’t seen you and Tom in here for a while. Did something happen?”

You froze at Alyssa’s question. Of course, she remembers Tom as well, you and Tom were practically inseparable a few years ago and this used to be your hangout place whenever you both had free time- hell, you made a lot of memories here. 

You and Tom were here when you both decided to bail on your prom dates. 

“Are you still cold, darling?” Tom asked as you held his coat tighter to your body. You were still wearing your prom dress when you entered the cafe, you were supposed to head straight home but Tom lured you in with a cup of coffee.

“I’m fine, Tommy.” You answered and gave him a small smile. “Shouldn’t we feel at least a tiny bit guilty?” You asked Tom as he handed you your drink. 

You muttered a small thanks as you held the cup to your lips, taking a sip of your coffee.

You were silently thanking every god out there for letting you both find this cafe that was still open, especially at this late hour.  

“Yeah, but they both left even before we bailed on them,” Tom pointed out as he quickly scanned the area for an open table. “If anything, they bailed on us.” 

He found an empty table near the fireplace, gladly following him. “Maybe they thought we were boring?” You suggested.

“Darling, please,” Tom sighed “Tom Holland is never boring.” He grinned.

“Yeah, because Tom Holland is a giant dick.” You shot back.

“Correction,” He held his forefinger up “Tom Holland has a giant dick.” 

You rolled your eyes and said, “You are disgusting.” Tom just smirked at you in response.  

You and Tom spent so much time studying here. It even got to the point that you had to spend your birthday, studying at a cafe.

“Happy birthday, darling” Tom hummed as he sat the plate down on top of your growing tower of psych books. 

“Tom,” you groaned, all of a sudden feeling shy. “I told you that I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday especially since I have a huge midterm tomorrow.” 

It’s not that you hated birthdays, you actually like birthdays. You like giving meaningful presents, writing cards and going the extra mile. You like every aspect of it. You just didn’t like celebrating yours. Birthdays eventually lost its meaning to you since it didn’t hold that much value as it did when you were younger. 

For you, it was just another day.

“Oh c’mon, y/n,” He pouted “I kept my promise and even gave you a shitty birthday card like you insisted. The day’s almost coming to an end, we have got to at least acknowledge it somehow.” Tom placed a single candle on the slice of chocolate cake that was currently sitting on top of your notes.

After carefully lighting up the candle, Tom pushed the cake towards you and said: “Make a wish, darling.” 

“This is stupid.” 

“It’s your birthday and I don’t want to hear another word. Now close your eyes and make a wish.” He demanded. 

You rolled your eyes playfully but proceeded to close your eyes anyway. You racked your brain for anything, actually considering of making a wish. 

Once you opened your eyes and saw that gorgeous smile that was plastered all over Tom’s face, you suddenly felt selfish for wishing such a thing. 

“So,” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What did you wish for?” He asked inquisitively.

“I’m not telling or else it wouldn’t come true.” You proclaimed with a teasing smile hanging off your lips. But really, all you wished was for this to last longer. 

You loved that you had someone like Tom and you know it was entirely selfish to wish that you could keep him in your life. Yet you couldn’t help it. 

You and Tom were also here when he needed someone to hold on to, as he found out that his grandma died. 

You told Tom that you’re going to be there for him, no matter what happens. 

But Tom needed to be with himself for a short while, and you granted him that. You gave him time and space in order for him to grieve. 

So when he texted you saying “let’s meet at our usual place,” You were already grabbing your keys and your wallet, ready to walk out of the door. 

The cafe was quieter than usual because of the nonstop-pouring rain. You quickly ordered a small latte before spotting Tom, slumped over one of the booths. 

You quietly slid next to him, waiting for Tom to say something. But he didn’t. He just took a quick glance at you before tilting his head back, though this time, he sat properly. 

Not long, he moved closer to you and left absolutely no space between the two of you. He returned to his slouching position and rested his head over your shoulder. He then reached for your hand, always finding comfort with how intensely warm your hands were against his.

With fingers interlocked with yours, he spoke quietly “When you leave, you’d say goodbye, right?” 

For someone who found love and comfort with the constant flow of words, it was ironic when you found yourself lost for it. 

“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out. “But I would never leave you, Tom. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.” 

“I hope you don’t” He replied. “because I wouldn’t know what to do if you did.” 

There were two promises that were made that day: You’d never leave and You’d say goodbye when you leave. You knew you broke a promise, but your pride wouldn’t let you admit that to yourself.

Alyssa knew that you and Tom spent most of your time here since she was mostly working whenever you both drop by. You snapped herself back to reality but found yourself in oblivion as you tried to find words in reply.

Alyssa seemed to pick up the tension that you were in and she immediately took all of it back and said her sorries. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just curious about what happened between the two of you. I was so used to seeing you both together and-”

“It’s fine, Al. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what happened either.” You replied, a sad smile playing upon your lips. “I guess some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Alyssa apologized profusely.

“It’s alright, Aly.” You reassured Alyssa before grabbing your pie and coffee “Thanks for the coffee.” 

You went back to your table. You were in a small booth near the bookshelves and the fireplace. It was also pressed against the glass window from where you can see the people passing by. This used to be your table. 

You took a sip from your coffee and placed your attention back to the blank page that was staring right back at you. You recognized this feeling way too much; the peculiar feeling within you and writing.

You hated it. You hated this. You thought it was foolish of you to assume that everything was okay, that you were okay.

So you shut your laptop off, and instead pulled out your journal and pen. 

When you feel like your thoughts are getting the best of you, you focus on one thing and just write about it. 

You thought about your drive here: How many red lights did you encounter, how long it took you to drive here, how you saw that one dog owner who nearly lost their dog as the leash slipped off their hands. 

Scribbling made you feel that you were finally at one with your thoughts and drowned everything around you. You drowned the sounds of the coffee machine, the faint music playing from the speakers of the cafe, and the soft chattering of the people in the background.

Tom entered the cafe for the first time in two years, along with his best mate, Harrison. Tom didn’t know why, but he avoided this cafe at all costs. So it came as a wonder when Alyssa saw Tom prancing across the counter.

“Oh, hi Tom! Fancy seeing you here.” Alyssa greeted.

Tom was caught off guard when he realized that it was Alyssa who was at the till. “Uh, hi Aly! How are 'ya?”

“I’m well, you?”

“I’m fine,” Tom answered politely. Harrison just gave Alyssa a polite smile. 

Tom hardly dragged Harrison to a cafe, this one especially. They have been friends for as long as they can remember but it was just never their thing. Sure they usually grab coffee together but never here since they all knew this was both of Y/N and Tom’s thing.

You, Tom, and Harrison were all friends. You all grew up together, went to the same school together, and hung out all the time. You and Tom just happened to spend a lot more time together so you two were a lot closer. 

It wasn’t a big deal for Harrison though, he liked you two together. He never felt out place whenever you three are all hanging out because you’re all equally whack whenever you’re all together. 

However, he definitely took pleasure in pestering the two of you with the question: “Have you two finally moved to the “boning each other” stage yet?” 

It earned a handful of smacks from the two of you. Haz found no pleasure in that area just so everyone was clear. 

Harrison definitely wondered what happened between the two of you. He expected that you two should’ve been dating now but something happened and all of a sudden, everything changed. 

He tried asking Tom about it but he would always just dodge the question and then would move on to something else.

He also tried to ask you about it but you always gave the same answer, “Maybe life intended it to be this way.” 

Haz tried stopped asking after that.

“Fancy anything, mate?” Tom asked Harrison.

“I’ll just have a large vanilla iced coffee, thanks,” Harrison answered.

Alyssa nodded as she attentively entered his order at the till. She then turned her attention to Tom and asked for his order.

Tom scanned his eyes over the menu. Nothing really changed much, except for the seasonal drinks that usually come and go throughout the year.

“Iced coffee with extra cream and no sweetener?” Aly asked Tom. 

Tom became flustered, not knowing that Alyssa still remembers his order.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Tom said, watching Aly in astonishment. “I’m surprised you still remember.”

“Yeah, well, you and y/n were regulars.” She replied absentmindedly. Alyssa then realized what just came out from her mouth and quickly apologized.

Tom brushed it off quickly, saying it wasn’t really a big deal. Tom instructed Haz to look for an empty table as he paid for their coffee. While waiting for their order to get made, Tom suddenly heard the familiar line from their favourite song. Well, what used to be their favourite song.

“I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.”  

You had this odd feeling wrapped around you. You felt uneasy and wanted to leave the cafe immediately. So you gathered your things and slung your backpack on your right shoulder while you held your coffee on with your left hand. 

While you were making your way towards the door, you heard the line from the song that brought too many memories and stopped dead from your tracks. 

This song brought that very specific memory that still crushed your heart into tiny little pieces. 

“Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t take you to the dance.” Tom apologized as he handed you the dripping plate. You wiped and neatly put them back in the cupboard.

“It’s not a big deal, Tom.” You replied as you continued mindlessly wiping the dishware.

You were in your third year in university and the student org was throwing a huge winter ball. Considering you were part of the org, your attendance was mandatory.

It wasn’t until the morning of the dance that Tom had to cancel on you. He had to take a late shift at the bookstore since his coworker called in sick. Tom hasn’t stopped apologizing since.

“It is a big deal!” He exclaimed, “You already bought a dress and everything! I know because Harrison was complaining about how you’ve managed to drag him across the mall, by the way.”

“That little snitch,” You grumbled, “remind me to smack him next time, yeah?”

Tom chuckled as he turned off the faucet and watched you finish clearing the stack of plates.

“You shouldn’t have to skip the dance for me you know?” He said softly.

“I know, but I wasn’t going to the dance both dateless and miserable.” You replied. “You know I only come to these things because you were always there to make it insufferable.”

You didn’t really mind as you were not entirely thrilled to go to the dance anyway. You can always just return the dress and get your money back. You also wouldn’t have to spend at least 3 hours of getting ready. The whole process of getting ready was exhausting enough for you, but as if every god heard your prayers, you had a reason to ditch the dance. 

If anything, this situation was a total win for you.

Of course, you had to make up an excuse for ditching. Saying that you “had to take care of your little sibling at the last minute and none of the sitters could pull through.”

“Oh, what would you do without me?” Tom sighed dramatically as he pulled you close to him and wrapped his arms around your waist.

You rolled your eyes playfully before you looked up at him, “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Holland. Your head can’t possibly fit that big ego inside ‘ya.” You said as you softly patted his cheek and broke out of his touch.

“Take me back to the night we met.”

Tom shook the whole feeling off when he heard Ally yell their orders. Not forgetting to thank her, he grabbed the coffee as soon as possible and whisked his way to find Harrison.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you.” 

“C’mon, darling.” Tom reached for your hand as he stood up and gave you that heart-melting smile he always carried with him. 

“Tom, what are you doing?” You asked with a bemused smile but went along with it anyway. 

You and Tom just finished watching the first Harry Potter film. Since you weren’t going to the dance anyway, you two opted for a movie marathon instead while your little sibling was sleeping soundly upstairs. 

The excuse wasn’t a total lie. 

“Don’t say I never do things for you.” He joked as he grabbed the throw blanket and tied it around your waist. 

“And what exactly are you trying to do?” You teased. 

“Shut up.” He mumbled and connected his phone through the speakers, careful with maxing up the volume. 

As the soft melody slowly filled the room, he held his hand out in front of you and said, “Y/N, may I have this dance?” 

You playfully rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop smiling at the whole gesture. You took his hand briefly and soon enough, you had your arms wrapped around his torso while his arms were wrapped around your waist. 

With your face slightly buried against his chest, as you two slowly moved through the song, you softly mumbled: “I like this song.”

Tom chuckled softly. “Yeah, I like it too. Wanna know where I found it?” 

“Where?”

“On Harrison’s Spotify playlist. The name of the playlist was ‘when the time finally comes.’“ Tom answered. 

“Oh, that’s cute.” You commented. 

“That’s not even the ringer. Wanna know what the description of it said?” 

“Shoot.” 

“The description said, ‘for my two best mates who are blind enough to see how much they’re attracted to each other. you know who you are.’“

You wriggled yourself back to reality and quietly whispered to yourself that you are not going to do it now, and not in this place. 

With your head down, you brisked up your way towards the door and accidentally bumped shoulders with someone.

As you looked up to apologize to the person you accidentally bumped into, you just wished you didn’t. 

Because then, you were staring into a familiar pair of eyes and it took the colour out of the both of you.

“Take me back to the night we met.”  

“Y/N,” Tom breathed out, completely astounded at the sight of his best friend- ex-best friend, standing in front of him.

You were equally shaken on the inside and felt like you stared at him for the longest of time. He looked older. He was definitely not the same boyish-Tom that you last saw. He had his hair swept back, making it impossible not to stare at his annoyingly perfect face. You also noticed that he was wearing glasses and you couldn’t help but wonder if he actually has prescriptions now or is he still wearing them for his fashion statement. 

At that moment, you felt your heart clench a little. You miss the feeling you get whenever you’re around him. You miss Tom. 

But things change, and people change. 

When you found out that your work entails you to live at an entirely different continent for a year, you felt like you were thrown with a bucket of cold water. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell Tom, but you had to. You owe him that. 

“Hey darling,” He greeted through the phone. You can sense the smile on his face and that is enough to form tears in your eyes. 

“Hey Tommy,” Your voice was strained, as you were fighting back your tears. “Listen, remember when I told you about the writing gig I had been obsessing on for months now?” 

“Yeah, what about it?” He asked, “Are you okay, y/n? You sound like you’re-”

“-crying, I know. It’s just I’m so excited you know? Can you believe they’re flying me to New York?!” At this point, you didn’t hold back. Tears were streaming down your face and you were praying to make the pain go away.

Tom was silent for a while before he finally mutters, “New York?”

“Mhm.” You hummed in agreement, holding back your sobs. “Apparently, they want me to settle in as soon as possible so my flight is booked for tomorrow.” 

“Is this your way of saying goodbye?” 

“No.” You answered almost instantly. “I have the whole afternoon to kill so maybe we can grab breakfast together? Spend a couple of hours together before Harrison joins us for lunch.” 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Tom said quietly. 

“Okay. Bye, Tommy.” 

“Bye.” 

Tom didn’t show up for breakfast. You tried texting and calling him but, he didn’t answer. You figured maybe he slept in and would be joining you and Harrison for lunch instead, but you were wrong. He didn’t show up at all. 

You were trying to keep a tight smile, at least for Harrison, but he knew. Harrison knew what you were feeling and instead just offered a shoulder for you to lean on as you waited for your flight to board. 

You didn’t want to leave but you weren’t also going to put your future in jeopardy. It was an opportunity you couldn’t just simply pass up, especially not for someone who didn’t understand what it meant to you.

“Tom.” You barely said his name, as if it was going to burn your lips with acid as soon as it left from your mouth. 

No one said another word after that.

Though you can hear the small chatter from the people inside the coffee shop, there was a deafening silence between the both of you.

The uncertain feeling crawled up on your skin and no matter how you shrugged it off, it wouldn’t leave you alone. Boy, it drove you mad. Mad at how he can just stand in front of you, with a sad look in his eyes, as if all of it was your fault. Mad at how quickly you can melt and probably forgive Tom on the spot if he asked so easily.

Tom didn’t have any right to feel sorry, yet you felt like he did.

[theseuss-ship]

Heaven

Homecoming is this weekend. The losers were planning on going in a group. But they still wanted dates. Ben asked Beverly a while back. He was scared that someone else would ask her before he could.

Stan and Bill were going with each other. They were quietly dating. As if, you weren’t sure if they were dating but they had announced their relationship.

Eddie’s mom would murder him if he had a date, so he didn’t bother. But Richie wanted to bother. He just didn’t know how.

Richie and Eddie have been hanging out a lot recently. Richie’s parents were never home, so he always asked Eddie to come over. He loved Eddie’s company. He couldn’t stand being alone and Eddie made it a lot easier.

One night at Richie’s house, Eddie came in looking very pissed off. “God, my mom is such a total pain in the ass. I can’t stand it anymore.” Eddie ranted. He sat on Richie’s bed, still rambling.

Richie was staring at Eddie. He didn’t want to stay inside tonight. And some walking would probably good for Eddie. “Let’s go somewhere.” Richie says.

“What? Are you even listening?” Eddie asks.

No. Richie gets up from his position on the bed and reaches his hand out to Eddie. “Yes. But I think a walk on a night like this would be good. C’mon I know a place.”

Eddie blinks. “Richie, I swear to god if you try to murder me-” Richie laughs heartily at him.

“Calm down. It’s just boring in here!” Richie waggles his hand.

“Fine,” Eddie grabs Richie’s hand. “But I don’t want to be out long. It’s cold.”

Richie picks up two jackets off his floor. He gives the comfier one to Eddie. “Now you have nothing to bitch about.” Richie sticks his tongue out.

Eddie follows his best friend to a small playground. It looks as if it hasn’t been used in a while. Like it was a hot spot for young kids long ago, but it lost its charm. Eddie smiles. “I should’ve known you would take me to a playground.”

Richie chuckles. “I like coming here to distract myself.” He sits on an old swing.

“Is this sanitary?” Eddie inspects the swings. They’re rusted and used. The chains creak with a slight push.

“I’m still alive so, yes.” Richie says sarcastically. “Just sit. You’ll be fine.” He pats the swing next to him.

Eddie sits down on the seat. There’s a breeze that makes him shiver. Involuntarily, Eddie huddles into Richie’s huge jacket. He has one foot on the ground and is swaying more than swinging. Richie clears his throat to catch Eddie’s gaze.

“So,” Richie starts. “I was thinking about homecoming. It’s coming up soon.” Richie is clearly nervous. His attention on the dirt beneath him. “And I know we both don’t have like, dates. So, ha, can I take you to homecoming? As your date. As a date. Yeah.” Richie doesn’t dare look up at Eddie.

But Eddie didn’t dare take his eyes off of Richie. “Richie,” Eddie’s voice was barely audible. “I’d really like to go to homecoming with your dumbass.”

Richie looks up at Eddie. “Wait really? You don’t think it’s weird? Because like..” Richie gestures between Eddie and himself.

"If I didn't feel like it was okay, I wouldn't say yes. I want to go with you, Rich." Eddie smiles warmly at Richie. And Richie feels like he's melting.

"Wow. This is not what I expected." Richie sucks on his teeth. "Well, okay maybe I was prepared for a yes. Would you want to come hang out at my place after homecoming? Just to chill. Because I always feel so crowded during homecoming. No time or space to connect or bond."

Eddie leans back in the swing to think. "Ma would never let me." He sighs.

"Spaghetti, just tell her homecoming ends at 12." Richie says.

Yeah.

"Alright. Bet." Eddie says. He laughs at his own response.

-

It's the night of homecoming. Richie and Eddie are so excited. Eddie has prepared for everything. He can not leave anything behind that he may need in an event like this. The germs.

There's just one thing that Eddie shoved to the back of his mind. That fucking slow dance. He knows it's going to happen. So what's he going to do with Richie?

Eddie knows what he wants. Richie owes him that dance. But he's terrified of people seeing. He doesn't want to be labeled as a "fag" again. It was just dying down.

Eddie was dressed up in his very special Sunday clothes. It was a salmon tuxedo with a red bowtie. His mother was fawning over how cute he is and taking more pictures than a child could count.

Eddie's mom was touching his face and making sure he looked perfect. According to Richie, he always did. Eddie swatted her hands away. "Mommy, I'm going to be late. Let's go."

"Alright. But just a few more pictures." She snapped some more and Eddie tried not to scream at her. She grabbed the keys and left for the dance.

When they arrived, Eddie's mom kept asking him if he had all of his meds. He didn't know how many times she asked the question. "Okay so pick up at 12?" She asked.

"Yes. But I could maybe get a ride home with Stanley. That way you don't have to drive out." Eddie said.

Sonia frowned at this. "Okay. Make sure to be safe and have fun. Don't touch anyone. And no romance." She warned.

"Bye, mommy! I love you." Eddie leaned over to give her a kiss and then got out of the car. Eddie had texted Richie to meet him in the lobby. He took a deep breath and went through the venue's entrance.

There he was. Looking around nervously for his date. For once, Richie's hair doesn't look like a rat's shit house. It's still curly, but a comb has run through it. He looks oddly nice. His tuxedo isn't buttoned at all. His tie hangs around his neck, untied. The tuxedo itself is slightly wrinkled. The black tuxedo obviously hasn't been used in quite a while.

Eddie almost couldn't stand looking at him. He couldn't believe that this was his date. He loved it.

Richie caught sight of Eddie and raced up to him. "M'lady." He said. Richie extended his arm to Eddie. Eddie wrapped his arm in Richie's and pushed up the oversized glasses Richie wore.

"I hate you." Is the only thing Eddie could say.

They dropped arms once they went into the main event area. The music was loud. You could already smell the body odor and perfume mixing in the air. The crowd by the speakers was humongous.

Right away, they spotted the losers in the area towards the seats. "Look at these babes! Wow! So you can look attractive, Richie." Bev exclaims.

Richie laughs at her. "I'm sorry if I embarrass you because my looks are superior."

"Shut up, Tozier." Eddie says.

The night goes on. Random pop songs from the radio come on. The losers are dancing along with some of the songs. Mike surprises the group with some moves he had up his sleeve. Everything is perfect. Richie and Eddie keep sharing longing glances at each other throughout the night.

Then, the dreadful part came around. A slow song that's probably trending on the radio. Immediately, the air in the room changed. Couples got together to dance. Ben and Beverly paired up to dance. Bill and Stan even paired. But then there was Richie and Eddie.

They made direct eye contact with each other. Both of the boys visibly froze up. Richie is the first one to do anything. He comes in close to Eddie's ear. "I'm sorry, Eds." Richie whispered. That's how Eddie knew Richie shared the same fears he had. They were too scared of what others would say if they had been spotted.

Richie gestured over to the chairs so they wouldn't have to stand awkwardly. Eddie followed him to the area. When they sat down, Eddie felt okay. He wasn't upset. He knew it was going to happen. "It's okay, Richie." Eddie said. He gave a genuine smile to Richie.

Richie let out a breath he wasn't holding in. He leaned back to get more comfortable in the small chair.

The homecoming dance ended. The losers were saying their goodbyes to each other. They all had such a fun time. They didn't say much because they were tired and probably just going to talk over group chat.

Richie's house was close enough from the venue to walk. Along the way, Richie and Eddie had their usual mindless conversations. They got to Richie's house and made home in his bed. “Was it just me or was the music terrible?” Richie says. He turns on his speakers.

Eddie chuckles. "It was really bad. Like really fucking bad." Eddie lies down on Richie's bed. He felt like his ears were ringing. The music was so loud and it shook his whole body.

“Good. Because my music taste is way better.” Richie smirks. He turns on a playlist he made in Spotify. He titled it “vibe check!” The first song to come on is Let It Happen by Tame Impala.

Richie sits on the bed next to Eddie. Eddie stares up at the ceiling, letting the song go through him. He finds himself humming along to the song.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight.” Richie murmurs. Eddie almost doesn’t notice Richie’s words.

“It was fun.” Eddie says back. The atmosphere was weird. There was a strange silence between the boys. The music provided a weird background for them to rest. Yet, they were both comfortable.

The song changes. The Night We Met by Lord Huron sounds through the speakers. Eddie feels the bed shift next to him. Richie’s footsteps were soft. Eddie sits up.

Like the night Richie had taken Eddie to the playground, Richie had his arm extended with his hand open to Eddie. “This is a dancing song. Don’t you think?” Richie says.

Eddie smiled. “I’m going to check that out.” He places his hand in Richie’s. Richie helps pull Eddie from the bed.

They had no clue how to actually dance. Their hands were placed weirdly on each other’s sides. Eddie moved his hand that was not captured by Richie’s to his shoulder. Richie shifted his hand on Eddie’s waist to a better position.

Richie rested his forehead against Eddie’s and shut his eyes. He couldn’t help himself from smiling. Eddie looks at Richie’s face. It was unbelievably close. They shared breaths. Eddie found himself wanting to be even closer. Every nerve in his body was on fire. Is this safe? Should I be feeling like this? Eddie thought. But he didn’t care.

Without even thinking about it, he met Richie’s chapped lips. Eddie had never been so aware, yet lost all in one moment. But it was a good lost. Like his mind was gone and he was content with it.

Eddie took in every detail. The way Richie was so apprehensive until he was sure Eddie did want it. It was a first kiss for both of them. It felt much better than in daydreams. It felt real.

Eddie felt his stomach twist and form into a pit. If you had asked Eddie what that pit was, he would surely say appendicitis. However, it was clearly love.

Richie pulled away and stared at Eddie. “You’re better at kissing than your mom.” Richie jokes.

“I literally hate you.” Eddie laughs. They’re still holding each other and dancing. Eddie didn’t want to let go.

“I know.” Richie says. His smile was big. Richie felt like this was heaven. He had no other explanation for it.

So the both of them decided that it was heaven. Their dance would forever be the heaven that only the two of them would share. A wordless love.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Arranged Marriage

inspired by 'the night we met' - Lord Huron

The Volturi and the Cullen's always had a rocky relationship. The solution to this was very much dated in comparison to now. An arranged marriage was really the last option they had. It was decided Demetri would be the one and he chose you. He was very polite, a definite charmer but his attention stayed on you during your first meeting. He lifted your hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, eyes latched onto your golden ones. Neither of you were oblivious to how difficult this would be for the both of you. For you especially, it would be the calm before the storm. You did your best to foresee this as a journey and would be a good thing...but you couldn’t help but feel like you’d been sold off to a life of misery.

‘I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met.’

When the Volturi brought you back to their territory, things suddenly felt very real. You were very quiet a lot of the time. Demetri kept you by his side for the first couple of weeks as well as while the ‘wedding’ was being planned. Alice would be planning it, in hopes to help you settle a bit more. Surprisingly Demetri was very attentive to your comfort. You appreciated it but nothing about the situation was much better.

Things didn’t go too well after the wedding. You wanted to go back to the Cullens, struggling to adapt to the Volturi lifestyle. It didn’t help when Demetri was beginning to lose patience. Then again, it had been years and you were never really the same after your first feed with the Volturi. You could never forget it. You screamed and struggled as they forced you to feed on a screaming and pleading human. Caius ranted about the dramatics and how it was practically abuse for Carlisle to encourage such a way of life for you. You were starving but every fibre of your being told you not to do it. Eventually it was left to Felix, Demetri, Alec and Jane to make sure you feed. The twins held your head over the human, pushing you to feed as both Demetri and Felix, yelled at you to give in and feed. After three hours of this relentless treatment, your body gave in and before you knew it, you were feeding on the human. It was then that you were met with praise from the two men as you sobbed though no tears would ever fall. 

When you were done, Demetri sat you up, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He mumbled to you about how this was good for you and that everything would be okay. You immediately tried to thrash him off, but he blocked just about all over your hits, forcing your arms to your sides as he continued to hold you. He told you to stop in a low voice. He expected this to come but this had to be done. It was that moment that he lost your trust in him and he knew it. It was completely possible if not definitive that you would never forgive him.

‘And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you’

You were then beyond angry when you heard that Edward and Alice had been in the castle with a human that Edward was apparently romantically involved with. The Volturi were not happy and you were fuming. So much so, you asked the receptionist if you could borrow her phone. You promised you’d return it immediately before walking away with it. You dialled Edwards number, luckily he had still to board the plane so he picked up immediately. Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation. “Edward, you better explain to me what the hell you’re doing.” He explained which quickly grew into an argument.  “I think you forget that I’m the one who had to leave, to be here to make things better between both covens and you’ve not only disregarded me but also disrespected me in so many ways.” You said firmly. Edward had no issues in defending himself. He was adamant that what he was doing was right as well as continuing with a moral argument. You didn’t want to disrespect Carlisle in anger, so you finished with the last word. “Edward, if you give a damn about me, you’ll think this through. I gave up everything for our family and make things better. You’re wrong.” You hung up the phone, turning to see a smirking Caius. “My apologies, Master. I didn’t intend for you to overhear me.”  “No need to worry,” Caius continued to smirk. “I am relieved to see one of you have sense. “I just...I don’t understand why.” You admitted, feeling a bit hurt at Edwards actions. Caius tugged you to walk with him. “You don’t have to understand why. It doesn’t change that it’s wrong.”

‘I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met’

Later that night, Demetri entered your shared room. “I was informed you were told Edward was here.” You nodded with a sigh. “I don’t even have words for it anymore.” You fidgeted with your wedding ring as Demetri sat beside you.  “Would you like to talk to me about it?” Typical Demetri, he was always there in an instant. It always gravitated you back to him. You couldn’t bring yourself to admit any love for him. You didn’t want to focus on your feelings for Demetri.  “Go on...” Demetri encouraged you.  “I can’t...fix this. I always did what i was told. I was the mediator. I fixed everything. I am the one to make things okay. I let go for two seconds and suddenly, Edward is being stupid and i feel like i have to run in and save everything. Yet I can’t figure out how to fix it because i’m always being told what i had to do to fix it!” You took a breath. “I want to be told how to live because so far i feel as though i’m doing it wrong. Yet i know that living isn’t so serious, it has never been so serious because in the end I control nothing in this universe- i’m tiny yet somehow i still feel that same cycle of wondering what i have to do to make everything okay as though the world will fall apart if i don’t. Just...tell me what to do. What do i do to fix this?” Demetri was quiet, staring at you.

Your confession somehow brought you both together. Somehow he knew you didn’t actually want an answer which worked because he didn’t actually know the answer. He could only really say that it wasn’t your responsibility to fix it. To hear someone else from the inside say it, it was a relief. You wondered if maybe you two could be closer friends. Now looking back, denial was a funny little thing.

‘When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met ‘

You and Demetri were watching the world go by on his balcony when things changed for you again. You had become more comfortable staying with him. It had only taken many many years. You were spending time together before going to the confrontation. A pain that you wanted a distraction from and Demetri was more than happy to give. Everyone could be dead for all any of you knew in a matter of days. “So if you liked a person, what did you do?” You nudged Demetri. “What everyone else did, talk, laugh, spending the time i had to with them but never made an effort. They’d be only temporary anyway.” Demetri smiled with a shrug. “And what if it was someone you loved?” You grinned. Demetri’s smile faded slightly, he turned his head to look at you, really look at you. You felt his intense stare it was almost smothering. Demetri didn’t feel love for many people in his existence. He watched them come and go. When he chose you, he thought it would be the same. He didn’t expect to love anyone. Some how against all odds, he had begun to fall in love with you and precious moments like these only seemed to seal the deal. There was beauty in everything you did. You were a better person than he could ever be. He had never said it though and you had never let on that you felt for him as he did you.  “I’d never let them go.” He mumbled quietly. It was clear how pointed the statement was. It was directed to you. A promise. You wrapped your fingers around his wrist before leaning up to him. Demetri said nothing, instead curling his fingers under your chin with his free hand and meeting you in a kiss. Neither of you really spoke about what that night really meant for you both. Demetri kept the ball in your court, not wanting to push you. It was a precious moment he’d keep but it didn’t mean your undying love or loyalty to him.

Seeing the Cullen’s and the Denali on the other side of you was hard. Especially knowing their fate if the girl was immortal. Irina promised you it was true and now seeing the girl for yourself your heart sank. There was a lot of talking which gave you hope that just maybe they’d go free but you couldn’t hold your breath. As Carlisle explained the girl, it became apparent that just maybe she wasn’t immortal. When Aro met her, her heart was much more prominent, louder for you to hear and quick in fear. Your hope grew but so did your worry, because it meant Irina was wrong. It was then you realised the dark truth. You’d be losing someone regardless of the turn out and you did. Demetri was quick to push you behind him, blocking your view when Irina was killed. You didn’t know her well, only meeting her a few times but she was family none the less...or at least she used to be family. Just when you thought it was over, the Romanians couldn’t resist calling you out, calling you a traitor. Demetri pulled you into his side, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he stared the other side down. You looked up at him before looking at the Romanians. “I chose Demetri long ago and I...he knows how i feel for him. I don’t have to hide it.” You looked up at him to find him looking down at you in shock.  “I’ll always choose you.” You said to him quietly. 

You and Demetri were about to head back into the castle when you halted. A music festival was on tonight and you could hear the new song that was being played. A smile grew on your face. Demetri noticed, and couldn't help but smile in confusion as you leaned against the wall to your right. "What?" You reached out your hand for Demetri to take. "Stay with me for a while. I like this song." You sang the next lyric quietly as he gripped your hand, you tugging him closer. "Take me back to the night we met." After a few minutes he broke away to head inside, he’d have to take up his position soon. You turned back only to be called on one last time from Demetri, softer than ever before. “I love you too.” You smiled at him before turning back to the festival. You couldn't help but think of your relationship with Demetri. He had been with you all along, being the good guy and the bad guy to help you, tough love if needed. Everything to the very beginning, when he first lifted your hand and kissed your knuckles. The night you met.

[benhardyisdaddy]

the night we met

MASTERLIST 

(listen to the night we met by lord huron!! this fic is based off of that and a dream i had exactly like this lol i hope u all enjoy!!) 

Word Count: 3k+

BenxReader 

Description: you want to go back to the night you met Ben - and maybe you’ll get just that 

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met

Empty house, empty bed, empty heart. The once lively place you use to call home was now dark and abandoned. The joyful sounds of laughter and conversations had been filled with arguing and yelling, which were now filled with silence. You’re sat on the edge of your bed with his shirt in your hands. The only thing you have left of him. The same exact shirt he gave you five years ago when the two of you first met. When Ben left, he had intentionally made sure to leave that shirt behind - even if it was his most favorite, but that didn���t matter to him. He knew you loved it, so it stayed behind - something you wish he would have done. Stayed. 

The pitiful argument you both had, had started off with your every day ‘you didn’t take garbage out like you said you would’ which escalated to ‘I'm sure your ex would have taken the trash out, wouldn’t he’ and so on until you were in each other’s faces, screaming. Ben drove you crazy sometimes. You wanted to rip out your hair, but he did as well. You would have never continued arguing if you had known what was about to happen next. 

“I’m not so sure if we should be together.” 

It had broken your heart the moment it slipped from his lips. It stopped your breathing like some kind of poison. You were confused and angry and hurt. 

“I can’t believe you would even say that!” you had gasped. 

But he did. He did say it and you would never forget it for as long as you live. More arguing continued until Ben packed up all of his belongings and left. He didn’t want to. He regretted it the moment the door shut behind him. He hesitated for an hour in his car before he finally drove away and to the new place he would have to call home, because now, you weren’t that. 

And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you

It’s been three long months since the day he left. Not a single word has been spoken since. You both were too prideful to be the first to give in, although you both secretly wished the other would just call already. You’ve had your fair share of drunken nights as you stare at your cell phone and debate with yourself until you end up crying yourself to sleep. Maybe he wants to call you as much as you do him? Or maybe he’s moved on and isn’t even thinking about you? That thought always upsets you, which results in you getting angry all over again. You’re not calling him. You will never call him.

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

All you had was his shirt. You needed more. You needed to feel Ben again. As if he were right next to you. You need to find that peace and comfort you once felt. You needed to be close to him, without him actually being there. You needed more than a shirt. You need to remember it all over again - the night you first met. You needed to go there. Now. You had jumped up from bed and wiped your eyes as you tug on a sweater and grab your keys. You need to remember the good moments with Ben, not dwell on the bad. You drove for what seems like forever until you’re finally there. 

You step out of your car and look up to the building. You remember everything like it was yesterday. You had been at a rooftop party with your ex - this exact rooftop you were now staring at. It was on top of a small apartment complex, but you knew a secret way to get in. There was a back door that never fully locked. You let go of a breath when it still opens up to this very day. You slip inside and make your way up the stairs. You finally reach the top of the building as a warm breeze hits you. It’s completely dark outside, nearing midnight now. The only light source is a small lamp perched over the door. The last time you saw this place, it was lit up brightly with people swarming everywhere. It was alive, but now it’s abandoned and littered - just like your heart.

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You sadly smile to yourself as you stare at the exact same spot you had first met Ben. He was leaning against the railing near the side of the building. You walk up to it and gently run your fingers against the now rusted metal. Your smile falls as you close your eyes and allow tears to drip down. 

“I wish I could go back.” you softly whisper to the wind. 

But you were silly for coming here. This is only making it more difficult. You frown hard as you squeeze your fists together and swiftly turn around to walk away fast, but as you do, a gust of freezing cold air hits you hard - nearly taking your breath away. 

You stumble back a bit when suddenly all around you is lit up and buzzing. People were laughing with drinks in their hands as a song blares in the background. You were frozen as your heart races. You look around and flinch when someone walks by you. Your eyes are wide as you look down and realize you’re now wearing the same exact red dress you had worn when you met...him. 

“What the hell is happening?” you whisper to yourself, nearly hyperventilating. 

You’re dreaming. You must be dreaming. It had just been completely abandoned a few seconds ago and now a huge party was surrounding you. You were terrified as you look around once more and finally start spotting familiar faces. Your friend Lucy was in the far corner as your other friend Joe was standing next to her - just like that very night. Your hand was placed on your chest as you try to understand what’s happening. 

“Joe!” you call out as you rush over to them, your whole body trembling. 

Joe looks to you and he and Lucy smile widely until they see the terrified expression on your face. 

“What’s wrong?” they both asked at the same time. 

“What happened!?” you ask fast, looking around. “Where am I?”

Lucy glances to Joe and she looks concerned. 

“Y/n, sweetie, are you okay? We’re at Mark’s party. You’re scaring me.” 

You shake your head and wrap your arms around yourself. 

“What year is it?” you whisper. 

“Should we take you to the hospital?” asks Joe. 

“I’m thinking maybe so-” 

“What year is it?!” you shout as you feel anxiety hitting you hard. 

“2014.” says Joe slowly. 

Your eyes open wide as you stare at them in shock. You shake your head as you begin taking steps backwards. Joe and Lucy are speaking to you, but you’re not listening. You turn around and begin to walk away.

“You’re dreaming.” you whisper. “Calm down, you’re dream-” 

You had glanced over to where you had just been standing previously. You slowly turn your head to the same exact spot where you had first met Ben, and just like before, he was right there. His eyes are on you with a slight smile on his face - just like the night you met. You stare at him as your eyes burn with tears. He was right there. Your Ben. He smirks as you continue to stare, but you can’t help it. You had longed to see him again and now he’s in front of you. You continue to watch him as your heart pounds and tears trickle down your now sobbing face. He notices you crying and his expression falls. He goes to walk towards you, but you turn and try to hurry away.

“There you are!” someone shouts. 

You look up and are shocked as your ex comes rushing up to you with a frustrated look. 

“Where have you been all night? You said you’d stand by me the whole time, not flaunt around these other guys.” 

You frown as he grabs your arm harshly and pulls you towards him. You remember this moment as if it were yesterday. You count down in your head until it happens. 

“Hey, douche bag,” calls out Ben as he walks up. “How about not putting your hands on her?” 

Your ex stares at him with a surprised expression. 

“Oh, you don’t like when I touch my girl?” he asks, mocking him. “So, this must make you really angry.” 

Just like before, he drunkenly shoves you away towards Ben. Ben’s face is red as he steps forward and throws a punch, hitting your exes nose perfectly. He cries out and covers his face in pain as blood pools out. He stumbles sideways and accidentally knocks into a girl who falls into you and spills her drink all over your dress. You squeal at the coldness and then begin laughing. You had been so angry when this moment had happened before, but you couldn’t help but laugh now. Ben gasps as he grabs napkins and attempts to help you. 

“Here, follow me.” he says fast as he takes your hand. 

Touching him again had you seeing stars. The moment your hand felt his, there was a spark. He looks back to you fast and pauses. His brows knit together. 

“Have I met you before?” he asks. 

All you can do is smile and lightly laugh. 

“Feels like it.” you say back. 

Ben watches you for a moment longer with a smile on his face before turning and leading you down to the parking lot below. You follow him to his car as he opens the back door and retrieves something. 

“Here,” he says handing it to you. “I always keep a spare in my car. It’s clean, I promise.” he says fast. 

And just like before, you slip his favorite shirt over your head and adore his cologne scent covering it. Ben leans against his car and watches you. You look down to the ground and back up at him. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You can’t believe he’s right in front of you. 

“I’m Ben, by the way.” he says holding his hand out for you to shake. 

“I’m y/n.” you say taking it. 

“I’m sorry,” he says laughing. “This feels like deja vu.” 

“Tell me about it.” you say lowly. 

“Why were you crying earlier?” he asks bluntly. 

You look up to him half surprised by his question. He notices the look of shock on your face as he stands up straighter and shakes his head. 

“I’m so sorry. That was intrusive of me.” 

You smile as he blabbers on about how sorry he is for that question. The same sweet Ben as you remember. 

“I just recently lost one of my best friends.” you say as you stare at him, your eyes beginning to get watery again. “We had a big fight and it’s been months since we’ve even spoke to each other. What do you think I should do?” 

He has no idea that it’s him you’re talking about. Your heart breaks as he sadly smiles and apologizes once more. 

“Well, whoever they are, they’re an idiot for not wanting you in their life. If I may ask, who started the argument?” 

“I... might have.” you say slowly, a guilty look on your face as he laughs. 

“Do you want to lose them forever?” 

Your smile falls as your chin quivers. You shake your head. 

“No.” you whisper as you stare into Ben’s eyes. 

“No matter how hard something might be, I believe you can always make it work. No matter what. Not that I’m skilled in this area of expertise.” 

The two of you laugh as you sniffle. Suddenly, footsteps and voices begin getting closer and closer. The door swings open and out walks every person that was at the party with you, including Joe and Lucy - and your broken nosed ex. 

“We’re all going to the bar down the road, you going?” asks Lucy as she tries to analyze you. 

“You guys have fun!” you tell her. 

“You sure you’re okay?” asks Joe, slurring his words.

You tell them you’re fine as they all swarm away until it’s, once again, complete silence. You look back to Ben and lightly laugh. He looks to the top of the building then back to you. 

“You wanna go back up?” he asks as he leans off of his car and walks towards the door. 

Just like the first time, you follow him back up the steps. The rooftop was completely abandoned as the lights were still lit up and the music was still playing. You walk into the middle of the floor and look around, taking everything in. You spin around and watch as Ben’s behind you, his hand stretched out while a slow song begins playing. 

“Would you, possibly, like to dance with me?” he asks nervously. 

Your heart flutters as you nod your head and walk towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands are perched on your hips. You look up to him and smile as he does the same. The song that’s currently playing finally hits you. It’s the same song that was on when you had first met Ben. The same song that played on your radio when he left. The same song that drifted in your room today. It was your song. 

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met

“You ever feel like you’ve known somebody your whole life? That’s exactly how I feel with you. Maybe we’ve met in a different life.” he teases.  

“You did always said that was rare.” you say smiling, forgetting that this was supposed to be the first time you’ve met him. 

Ben’s eyes squint as he leans his head back while you two still dance. 

“How did you know I say that?” he asks, confused. 

You aren’t sure what to say. You swallow hard and force a smile before everything that had happened between you two hits you all at once. You look down as a tiny sob escapes, your face scrunching up. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m so sorry.” you whisper. 

“You didn’t do anything. Is it about your friend?” 

“I’m so sorry.” you say once more before leaning forward and hugging him hard. 

Ben just wraps his arms around you and runs his hand over your head, trying to calm you down - like he use to do. 

“I’m so sorry.” you keep repeating over and over again. “For everything.” 

Suddenly, another gust of cold wind hits you. You gasp as your hair flies around and suddenly -

it stops. 

The music was no more and the lights had gone dead. Your eyes are still closed as you slowly open them up to reveal the rooftop like it had been before - abandoned and littered. Whatever just happened to you, was over. You sob out as you look around frantically. 

“No, please!” you whisper. 

You squeeze your eyes closed tightly and try to concentrate. 

“Please let me go back! Please let me see him!” 

“Y/n?” 

You freeze as someone speaks up behind you. You tense your jaw at the knowable voice. You slowly turn until you spot a figure just in front of the door that you entered from. Your eyes were watery and swollen as you narrow them to see - which you finally do. 

“Ben?” you whisper. 

“Are you alright!?” he asks as he hurries to you - a worried look on his face. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask him, confused. 

His worried face is now a look of slight embarrassment. 

“Oh, um, I just wanted to visit here again. It’s been a while and, uh, you know-” 

“You wanted to come back to the night we met.” you whisper, finally understanding. 

Ben looks up to you and his eyes are soft. 

“I’ve been coming here every night since I’ve left. It’s like my second home. I feel like you’re still here... It sounds silly, I know.” 

“No,” you say fast as you shake your head. “Doesn’t sound silly at all.”

You pause as you both stare at each other. It’s like your hearts are screaming out for one another. 

“Why are you here?” he asks just as confused. 

You take in a deep breath as you smile and look down.

“I dreamt that I met you again,” you confess. “You gave me your shirt, we danced when everyone left-” you half laugh as he does. 

“That was an amazing night.” he says. 

You nod in agreement as he looks down and then back up to you. 

“If I remember correctly, some more kids walked back up during our dance and we never got to finish it.” 

He walks up to you and just like previously, he holds his hand out for you. 

“Would you like to finish it?” 

You look around and laugh. 

“We don’t have any music!” 

He shrugs his shoulders as he takes your hand and pulls you towards him. 

“I can manage on my own.” he says as he playfully raises his eyebrows. 

He then begins humming that same exact song that you both danced to that same night five years ago. Your heart squeezes as you both giggle at his horrible singing. You continue dancing for what feels like forever as you lay your head on his chest. He holds you close as you sway back and forth, taking in each other’s presence.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper, your eyes closed. 

Ben runs his hand over your hair as he kisses the top of your head. 

“I am too.” 

Things happen for a reason - you know that now. Will you and Ben get back together? You’re not sure. You just want to enjoy this night as long as it can possibly last. 

“I wish we could go back.” mumbles Ben, his chin resting on your head. 

You hum against him and smile. 

“Where to?” 

He pauses and leans away. You look up to him and notice his glossy eyes as he looks down to you. 

“The night we met.” 

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[antiquecompass]

Yeah, see, I was listening to Lord Huron’s Strange Trails again and ‘Meet Me in the Woods’ came up and then this happened.

So this is how Mo Xuanyu meets the Nie Pack:

He was seeing and hearing things again. Little shadows at the corners of his eyes, just past his peripheral, whispers in a language he didn’t understand but felt like he should know. He really felt like he was going crazy this time, for good, for real, for actual. He dreaded telling his aunt; she’d have him put in the psych ward again. 

Honestly, he’d seen a living, moving creature made of flame come from that candle. It had danced on his fingers, not burning him, before dissipating into the air. He’d seen it. He felt it. He remembered it.

He told his aunt the first time it happened, a mistake he made at nine, a mistake he never made again. 

Maybe it was just a dream? 

It hadn’t been this bad since he was a kid and it turned out his imaginary friend, Beatrice, was apparently a girl who had died forty years before he’d been born.

The trip to Scotland was supposed to be a relaxing family vacation. Sure, he’d only been brought along because they didn’t trust him to stay at home by himself, but still, the untamed wilderness of the estate they were staying on was supposed to bring him peace.

Instead he’d heard marching bands of warriors and haunting trills of bagpipes. He’d heard the firing of muskets and the clash of steel when nothing but rivers and trees and grass were around him.

“What’s wrong with me?” he asked to the air.

A whimper answered him, a pained howl that had him scrambling up from the silver birch tree he was seated against. 

It was stupid, tremendously stupid to walk into the thick of the woods to see what was making that sound. He knew that. He knew he could get trampled by a stag or attacked by some fox, but whatever was in there was in pain. He couldn’t just ignore it.

Maybe it was an auditory hallucination anyway, just one more to add on to the pile.

He carefully walked into the woods, pulling out his phone and switching on the flashlight. He could hear squirrels scampering above his head and the call of birds. The pitiful whimper sounded through the woods again and he turned to his left. 

Blood. There was a trail of blood. 

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath. 

He followed it anyway.

In an open clearing, surrounded by a random circle of pines, he found a wolf in the middle. It was injured, hobbling on three of its legs until it fell to the grown in a heap. It startled when Xuanyu stepped on a twig, snapping it in two, but it didn’t growl, or jump up and run away.

“Shit,” Xuanyu repeated.

He couldn’t just leave it there. 

“Hey, buddy,” Xuanyu said as he approached it. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” he said, pitching his voice to a low, soothing cadence. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The wolf seemed to relax as he drew closer, almost as if it could understand him. 

It wasn’t a big wolf, more medium sized, with a black coat and a gorgeous patch of gold around it’s bright, yellow eyes. It whimpered again as Xuanyu got closer.

“Just don’t bite me, Mr. Wolf,” Xuanyu said. “Or Ms. Or neither, I shouldn’t assume.”

The wolf stayed still as he knelt down beside it. He saw it then, an iron spike in its paw.

“Dude, that sucks,” Xuanyu said. His shoulders dropped. “Look, I’m not a vet, by any means, but I can probably pull this out. Just don’t bite my hand or my head off. Okay?”

He couldn’t believe he was talking to the wolf like he could understand him, but hell, if a mouse helping a lion was good enough for Aesop, a human helping a wolf hopefully wouldn’t end in his death. 

“Okay,” Xuanyu said. “Let’s do this.”

He took a deep breath, the wolf held still, and he pulled its paw into his lap. The fur was surprisingly soft under his hands. He couldn’t help but rub it with his fingers as he felt for the edges of the spike.

The wolf whimpered again and Xuanyu knew he had to get his shit together. He only had so long before the wolf would surely react. 

“Okay, I’m going to do it,” he said and then pulled quickly. 

The iron spike came out far too easy. Suspiciously easy. As if it was only there to test stupid idiots 20-something Americans lost in the woods of Scotland. 

The wolf immediately pulled away, tail between its legs, hovering near the edge of the pine circle. He howled then, strong, like a call. It was answered by a deeper howl, one that felt infinitely closer, and Xuanyu knew his luck had run out.

He didn’t think he could outrun a wolf pack. 

“No good deed, eh?” he said. 

A man came barreling out of the woods, tall and broad and terrifying.

“Who are you?” he demanded in accented English, an accent Xuanyu couldn’t place. 

“Xuanyu,” he said. “My family’s staying at the estate on the other side of the woods.

The man glared at him as he walked over to the wolf, picking it up in his arms as if it weighed nothing.

“You should not wander in the woods, little Changeling,” the man said. “Though I thank you for saving my brother from the iron trap.”

Changeling? Brother? Trap?

Some people took LARP-ing a little too seriously. He hoped that’s what this was, he prayed that’s what was going on.

“Uh, what?” he asked.

“Mingjue!” 

Another man emerged from the woods, small, delicate, but with an aura around him that made Xuanyu immediately want to bow his head.

“You found him,” the smaller man said with something like relief. He then sniffed the air and whirled around, staring at Xuanyu. “Who are you,” he demanded. “Why do you smell like Jin?”

“Djinn? I haven’t been rubbing any lamps or meeting any genies,” he said. “My name’s Xuanyu. I’m staying with my family on the estate,” he gestured behind him, “that way.” He stood up and dusted off his jeans. “Look, I’m sorry if interrupted whatever real life D&D campaign thing you got going on here, or whatever the hell you’re doing. I just heard something in pain and went to  help.”

“Where are you from?” the smaller man demanded. He would’ve marched over to him if the other man didn’t have a hold on his shoulder. “Who are your parents?”

“New Jersey. My mom’s dead and my dad was a one-night stand. Not that any of that is your business. So, I’m just going to go, back that way, okay?”

He backed away from them, maintaining eye contact, an odd feeling that if he turned his back he’d lose his head. 

“And Aunt Mo thinks <i>I’m</i> the crazy one,” he said as he finally broke the tree line and started the walk back to civilization.

Three days later he was in the tiny shop at the center of the village debating over ice cream flavors when someone stumbled into him.

“Apologies,” a soft voice said.

Xuanyu glanced up, and then down, to find a petite man glancing up at him from behind a beautifully painted fan. His dark hair was long and loose and his eyes a golden yellow color that somehow seemed familiar.

“It’s cool,” Xuanyu said. He turned back to the cooler, trying not to stare. “Any suggestions.”

The man reached out with a hand, covered with various cartoon characters band-aids and tapped one of the various pictures.

“I’ve always been a fan the classic myself,” he said.

“Plain vanilla Cornetto it is,” Xuanyu said. “It’s just like a Drumstick, I’m guessing.” He smiled down at the man. “Thanks.”

“You are most welcome,” the man said. He held his hand out. “I am Huaisang.”

“Xuanyu,” he said, shaking his hand. 

[resetmypatientviolence]

How (Drake x MC x Liam)

How– Part 12 of “Supposed To Be”

Part 1: Not Yet Part 2: Wait Part 3: Confused Part 4: Didn’t (NSFW) Part 5: I’m Pregnant Part 6: Choice (NSFW) Part 7: Future (NSFW) Part 8: Fight Part 9: Show (NSFW), Part 10: It’s Yours, Part 11: Please

Word count: 5,018 Pairing: Drake x Jaela x Liam

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Language; Sad things happen

Summary: After waking up and facing Liam for the the first time since the Homecoming Ball, with red eyes, he tells her the news she’s been dreading to hear since the moment Drake crashed into her, foolishly taking the bullet meant for her.

Suggested Song Accompaniment: The Night We Met– Lord Huron

Notes: Hey-ho Supposed To Be is BACK! This chapter, if you can believe it, was supposed to be longer… but I cut it short since a) it’s long already, b) I said in my artist statement I like to organically let plot flow, so why rush this? and c) my mom is coming in town next week so I need to clean my apartment. That said, I planned to do another hiatus… but I think I’ll try to get the next part up next week for you. Hurrah! So, as usual, thank you ALL so much for your support! It means the world.

** There IS a read more attached to this, I swear. Tumblr mobile just hates everything, if it’s still being annoying.

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“Jaela, Jaela, you can’t—your IV, you have a concussion—” Liam’s hand held and searched for hers as she attempted to remove her IV, frantic. Liam’s gripped hers tight—when he got it in his grasp—and his other on her shoulder as she kicked her legs under the tight sheets.

“Liam, please—” She gasped, tears steaming down her face and staining her hospital gown.

“You need to calm down—”

She stopped moving. Liam squeezed her hand and touched her cheek. “How can I?” she breathed, staring into his eyes—right before another wave of debilitating sobs ripped through her, his words of the last two minutes already haunting—because of course, why wouldn’t they haunt?—her. How could she forget the way his lips formed to say the words about Drake, the final images of the Homecoming Ball so clear—Drake bleeding out, dying there alone—

Dead.

“Shh, Jaela…” Liam sat on the edge of her bed best he could, arm wrapped around her.

“Liam… I…” How could she tell him her world fell apart, and everything she knew and loved and cared about and thought fell apart with one simple word? Dead, dead, dead—

“You didn’t let me finish,” he whispered. A pause. Jaela raised her red and puffy eyes to him, so small under his arm. She said nothing, the shuddering sobs melding into sniffs and silent tears—for the meanwhile, at least.

Tenderly, Liam brushed a tear from her cheek. It was replaced by another seconds later. “I was saying… yes, he… he died… but it’s not like that.” There she was back at the Homecoming Ball, Liam’s face far away, holding Drake’s bloodied hand, staring into eyes that were losing their life, second by second.

“How can it be anything but?” Their I love you’s—it wasn’t supposed to be like that. Voices weak, covered with his blood.

“Yes, he did die, when he was brought here. But the doctors,” Liam breathed. “They brought him back.” Her breath caught, eyes wide. His voice, strong as he told Liam, his sacrifice for the woman who didn’t deserve to be saved. “He… he just got out a surgery before you woke up.” Liam looked away, at her stomach. “But… they… they don’t know what’ll happen if he wakes up.”

Jaela gulped, blinking slowly. “If?” Liam’s look of fear—Drake saying the only thing that could make Liam abandon his friend—and his strong arms carrying her away from Drake’s body, still and lifeless on the ballroom floor.

“He… he lost a lot of blood. They… they don’t know how much brain damage happened because they don’t know how long he was…” He sucked in a breath, a silent tear falling down his cheek too. Jaela raised a shaky hand to touch it, brushing it away. The hand she held last limp, blood like spilled ink. “He’s not in pain, in a coma… that’s the only good thing they said to me.”

“He’s alive?” she whispered.

“In a way, yes.”

“Can… can we see him? Please?” Liam sighed, slowly standing up. Lower lip trembling as he didn’t answer, Jaela clutched the railing. “Liam,” she pleaded. “Please. I… I need to. I need to see him for myself.”

Running a hand over his head, he turned from, staring at the floor. “I think we have to talk about something else, first.”

Shaking her head quickly, Jaela sucked back a breath. “No. I won’t. Not until… until I can see him, Liam. I can’t. I love him. I need to see for myself.”

Turning, blue eyes wide and face aghast, he stared. “You… you don’t want to talk to me about our child—or how I was the last person to know about the pregnancy—until you see him? We can’t do anything, Jaela. They wouldn’t even let me in the room.”

She flushed with anger, tears, and an emotion she couldn’t quite figure out. “I love him,” she repeated, locking eyes with him. “I need to see him. I… I want to try and see…”

“It won’t—”

“I don’t care,” she snapped, touching the IV again. Liam moved fast, holding her hand away from it. “Please,” she uttered in a broken whisper. “Just a… just for a few minutes. Then we can talk about everything. I-I can’t think about anything else until…”

Liam’s jaw locked, then he released her hand and pressed the nurse call button. “Thank-you,” she whispered, sitting back while he went to the window, looking out at the world, sky too blue for the terror of the night, and not at her as the nurse came. Jaela tried to explain why she needed it removed, but she wouldn’t budge. “But—”

“You’re recovering, Duchess. You nearly split your skull. All the unneeded stress for you and the baby won’t be good.”

“Can we see him as a favor for the King, just this once?” Liam said, pulling out his King tone. Strong, stern, yet gentle. He walked back to Jaela, setting a hand on her shoulder. “He’s our good friend—” Good friend? She bit her lip. Ah, back to putting on a show, always. What were they to this nurse? Lovers who would announce their engagement soon? The Queen-to-be? Liam seemed to think so. But first, Drake. “—and took a bullet for the Duchess. Even if he can’t hear us… we’d like to give him our deepest thanks before….” He trailed, Jaela gulped, touching her stomach. Was that for show, too?

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. The nurse glanced between the two of them then finally nodded. Removing and capping the IV, Jaela wincing as the needle came out. A bandage pressed on her skin and she was free to go. To see Drake, barely alive. To… the nurse left and Jaela slid to the end of the bed, throwing her legs over and slowly lowering them, legs shaky.

Liam was at her side, arm around her as her feet touched the cold floor. Straightening up, Liam’s hand didn’t leave her, pressing softly against the small bump that was there, the curve on her lower abdomen. When she stood tall and faced him, his hand moved to the front of hers, fully touching what was hidden within her.

Shouldn’t she feel something, having the father the of her child touch her stomach with both of his hands, eyes staring directly at the miracle or mess that they made? Instead… it was nothing. Numb. Numb to his kind touch.

“Liam…” she said, brushing his knuckles. No charge. No jump. No fire like there used to be at his touch, nothing like when she’d come to him like a loyal dog when called to his side. Is that really that far from the truth of what she was, on the Engagement Tour? His pet? Neville wasn’t wrong. The secret that everybody knew but never spoke about? How much gossip had she missed, how their eyes would judge, glance between her and the King whenever they spoke, hands and touch too close between King and Lady? And now….

“One question before we go,” he said, sliding his hands to her hips, the hospital gown rubbing against her skin. “Why?”

A question that didn’t need completion. His eyes, so focused on her body, said it all. Why didn’t you tell me? “I… I don’t know,” she whispered, gently removing his hands from her. “Denial, maybe? Because I was scared of what you’d think? I can’t think of an answer that… that works right now, Liam.” They locked eyes. “How… how are you feeling?”

Sighing, he rubbed his face. “Honestly?” She nodded, spotting white slippers by her bedside. By the sonogram. She went to move, but froze when he spoke, voice low. “I’ve never been this angry, Jaela.”

“Oh.”

“Angry at you, at whoever attacked the damn palace and shot my best friend, angry at Drake for taking you away and for getting shot, happy you and the baby are okay, surprised but happy that you’re pregnant, sad because I could have lost you both, sad because Drake could die, and—”

Maybe wrapping Liam in a hug was a bad idea. Hell, having the audacity to ask how he was feeling was a bad idea. How could anybody process everything that happened in the period of three days? She couldn’t even give him a reason as to why she didn’t tell him about his own child. She couldn’t even process… Drake. He could die. He died for her.

 Jaela clutched his white shirt as he held her back, hand wound in her hair, like so many times before. “I’m so scared,” she whispered. “What if he…”

 “Maybe your voice will wake him up,” he murmured. “He did seem to always find you in a crowded room.” After they separated, Liam tilted up her chin. “You’re right. Let’s talk about… everything… afterwards, okay?”

 Sounds were magnified as she put on the slippers and Liam handed her a white robe to wear, pulling the rope too tightly around her waist, heart beating out of her chest. They exited to room together, the hall empty. “Private wing,” Liam murmured, hand on her lower back. Bodyguards trailed them until they reached a small lobby, Hana and Maxwell asleep across rows of chairs. Their eyes flew open once Liam and Jaela entered, Hana running right to her, pulling her close.

 “Oh Jaela… we were so scared—”

 “Me too, I couldn’t find you two. I thought… I thought….” she whispered into Hana’s soft hair. Maxwell rubbed her back.

 “I tried to get back and help,” he said, Jaela turning to him and pulling him into a hug. “We couldn’t get back in. I just got Chance and then… that was it. We came here as soon as we could, once Liam let us know where you were.”

 “I know.” Pulling from Maxwell, Jaela turned to Liam, gulping. “Drake…”

 “Just around the corner.”

 And she followed Liam, tugging at the ends of the rope, chest tight, stomach twisting. Not from the morning sickness. Because of him, because of Drake. Dying. No, alive… still, remember. Alive. Barely. But not even she, her voice so small, could convince her otherwise. How alive was alive?

 The room came into view, blinds shut, and two doctors whisked out of, speaking in Greek, the chipper nurse waving them in. Couldn’t they wait just a second longer? “Liam I need a…” Liam grabbed her hand and pulled her in without a word, without a second to—

 She gasped, Liam catching her fall, holding her up at the sight before them, forced upon them without warning, without thought, without… without a reason to think anything other than the word: dying, dying, dying.

 “No, no, no…”

 “You… you…” But even Liam’s words were stuck, caught at the sight of Drake Walker. The man who’d take a bullet despite hearing the woman he loved saying moments before she’d chose another man over him just because she was pregnant with his baby; the man she’d made love to not an hour before, all promises they made put into their bodies, their mouths, their touches; the man loyal to his best friend, until she entered the picture; the man trapped in a world he detested but only remained because of the people he loved.

 The man… man too good for her, hooked up to countless machines, tubes in and out of his body, tape and bandages covering skin she bruised, hair matted, skin pale, hands neatly placed over the sheets—him, lifeless, the only sounds of the respirator forcing his chest to rise and fall, the beeping of his heart, and Jaela’s quiet sobs.

 “Drake… pl-please….”

 Feet steady, she shuffled to his side, afraid that even holding his hand could break him, the final blow to the man who loved somebody who didn’t deserve it. Yet, she reached out, Liam on his other side, blinking back tears. Jaela’s fell freely, landing on the crisp sheets. Cold compared to the sheets of her bed, tangled up with him, his breath in her ear.

 Hand, lukewarm. Limp. No strength, nothing like when he held her, or how he pressed against her in a final shudder, hands holding her tight, whispering his confession of love to her, unbeknownst—but was it really?—to her.

 “Drake… why did you… why…. It should have been me… should of….” Words, a tangle of nothing and everything all at once poured from her, holding his hand just tight enough where she could feel the warmth that was there but not enough to hurt him anymore than he was. Breathless, she spoke in hushed tones, pushing back his hair with a shaking hand, the weight of the world crushing her, second by second.

 “I’m so sorry Drake, I’m so, so sorry. I love you… p-please come back, squeeze my hand, anything—let me know you’re still there and not…” But nothing. Beep… beep…. Not even when she asked again. And again. And again until his knuckles were against her forehead, Liam bringing her a chair as she sat, asking—no pleading—for him to convince her he was there. Nothing, and her desperation grew. Events from the night before replaying in a loop, over and over, unable to stop. How he held her, kissed her, moaned with her, slammed against her, his blood staining her, how he said he loved her–

 “Drake, please wake up,” she begged, standing up. She kissed his pallid forehead, chapped, lipstick stained lips lingering on his skin. Still, nothing. She pulled back, fresh tears leaving tear tracks. “I… I know it’s selfish. I know you don’t deserve me. I don’t deserve you, god, I don’t… either of you… but please come back to me. I didn’t mean it.” She kissed his fingertips, tasting her own tears and not the sweet salt of his skin, shuddering every few seconds, breathy. “I… I can’t go on without you, I just can’t. I need you. Please, Drake, I love you….”

 Beep, beep…. Liam gulped, appearing in the corner of her eye. Jaela look back to Drake, only Drake. Lifeless Drake. “Please…” Was it just her, or did it sound like his heartbeat was speeding up? She raised her brows.

 “Jaela, I think we need to get going.”

 Shaking her head, she gripped Drake’s hand tighter. “N-no, I’m not leav-leaving him. I can’t. Not when I-I should be here instead, Liam. Don’t try and tell me I didn’t deserve that bullet.”

 “You didn’t, you can’t beat yourself up over—”

 She didn’t want to turn away from Drake, because he was the only thing that mattered in the moment, but she did to face Liam, still holding Drake’s hand. “You’d rather have your best friend be laying here than the woman who led both of you on, thought she made a choice, and then got all confused because discovered she was pregnant, and was a complete fucking coward by not telling you— all while still letting you both believe that there was a future with me because I couldn’t figure out my own feelings, even after I told you what they were? I don’t think my actions deserve a tap to the head.”

 “It’s not about deserving, Jaela,” Liam sighed, exasperated. More beeps, louder, almost. “He saved you and the baby. Don’t you care about that at all?”

 “No.”

 “What?” He tried to touch her face but she batted his hand away, stepping closer to the hospital bed. “But, Jaela—”

 “It should have been me,” she whispered. “And if I lost the baby then… then that would be apt punish—”

 “Don’t say things like that, Jaela,” he snapped, anger tingeing his voice but deep concern and worry in his blue eyes and frown. “You’re not thinking right. We need to leave and discuss this situation we’re in.” His arm wove around her waist, but she didn’t budge, only turning back to Drake.

 Beep, beep, beep…. The heart monitor was definitely moving faster. She squeezed his hand. “Drake, please…”

 “Jaela—”

 Liam’s desperation to have her alone. How fast he talked at her bedside. How he wanted—no assumed—she was to be his Queen. Yes, he deserved the time. But… but she couldn’t leave Drake. No, she just couldn’t. Not now. “I’m not leaving him,” she said through gritted teeth. “I can’t.”

 “Jaela, it’s not a matter of can’t or want. You have to. You’re still recovering, too. ”

 An exhale. Nothing from Drake except for a heartbeat. “I’m not leaving him because I know the moment we’re alone you’re going to tell me I need to be your Queen and…” The words, ready to spill. Could she do it? Finally? “I don’t love you like I love him, Liam. I can’t.”

 In a matter of a second, there were two broken hearts in the room.

 Liam’s touch stiffened. “I… I know that, Jaela,” he whispered. Raising her eyebrows, she turned to face him. Eyes, shiny and jaw clenched, but he didn’t look as she expected. Not upset… knowing.

 “But…” Releasing Drake’s hand, giving it a final, gentle, rub of her thumb, she crossed her arms. How did Liam know? Or understand when everything he did… proved otherwise.

 “Everything made sense once you told me. I noticed but never could put the pieces together until the truth was there in front of me.” Heartbeat, faster. Wait—Drake’s or hers?

 “But why didn’t you give up?”

 Jaw clenched, Liam shook his head but pulled her closer. “I love you. Isn’t that a reason enough?” Heart dropped; breath caught. How could he still? Beep, beep, beep—“We need to leave. There’s nothing we can do… and talking about the details of us and the next steps—there’s almost too much—here isn’t where it should be. He needs peace.” Jaela tried to move out of Liam’s gentle hold, but he tightened his grip on her side, starting to move towards the dreaded door. “Jaela…”

 Us. Us. Us. He said us. She froze, looking away from Drake on death’s doorstep, to Liam, brows furrowed. “Us,” she said, the short word slow, elongated. Foreign. “Us,” she repeated. “Do you think there’s an us to talk about?”

 Liam winced. “You’re pregnant, Jaela. And…” Don’t you dare say it, Liam. She wanted to say, the thought screaming in her head—along with the offense that he believed she would go along with everything. That she didn’t have a say in the matter of them. That because of the baby, they were meant to be. Maybe she believed that notion last night—but it was a new day and she’d do everything all over again and again and again if that meant she got one more second with Drake.

 “Don’t I get a say about who I want to be with?” she snarled.

 He sighed. “You need rest. I… I can go over everything with you afterwards, okay?”

 “Liam, I’m serious,” she said, frowning. “I don’t give a shit about the monarchy rules or ideals for situations like this. I… I can’t be Queen—”

 “Jaela, you don’t understand what’ll happen if—” Beepbeepbeep—

 “You’re the goddamnned King!” she shouted, hot, angry tears replacing the sadness. “Change the rules! I don’t want to be Queen. Didn’t I always say I saw you for you, Liam?”

 Something tugged at his lips, pain in the corners of his eyes. “Yes but… but this is different, J—” … beep….

 “I’m a damn American and I’m having a say over these outdated ideas, okay? I’m the one who’s pregnant. I don’t care that you’re King, I care that you’re Liam and we need to f—” Jaela froze, the room—quiet. Too quiet one second before the flat line.

 “Drake?!” They said together, heart monitor nothing but one perfectly straight line. Nothing. Drake, gone.

 Within one moment, the world sharp around the edges, Jaela screamed reaching out for him, and Liam pulled her back, his hold taking her breath away, as the doctor’s poured in, their words fast and furious as his body—because that’s all it was—disappeared among the white coats.

 “Let me go, let me go, let me go!” she yelled, trying to free herself from Liam, but to no avail. His jaw dropped; staring in shock at the reality that Drake’s heart stopped beating—again—right before them. Dead. The words he said brought to life. Jaela fought, screaming and yelling, trying her hardest to break free while Liam stood still, muscles tense while the doctors worked, the flat line screeching louder by the second, filling her head with nothing but that. Not the rush of Doctors shouting, not her yells and sobs—just that. A flat line. The flat line.

 Jaela gripped Liam’s arms, trying to jump forward and he pulled back hard. “No! No! What are you doing? What’s happening what’s—” A doctor turned as more equipment was wheeled in. “Is he alive is he—”

 “King Liam, get the Duchess out of here—now! You shouldn’t have been in here and she’s hysterical.”

 Wordlessly, Liam nodded and moved, muscles tightening against her—he was always so strong—and pulled her out of the room, the tears and shouts of protest unable to stop. No, no, no, I need to know I need to know he needs to live he needs to fucking live. We had so many plans, so many ideas, so much left to do. In the doorway, she gripped the edges, holding tight, preventing Liam from moving her into the hall.  

 “Jaela, we have to go, we have to—”

 “We have to see if he’s alive! Let me go, Liam, ple-please!”

 Fingertips, straining against the cool metal, cool like his hand will be—was—when she held it and—a doctor appeared, quickly pushing off her hands, her last attempt to stay with Drake, to try and amend the fact that it should be her laying there instead of him. To say I love you’s until he’d wake up, if only that was to cure, to tell him she’d be waiting, to tell him everything she couldn’t, caught in a world of confusion and nobility, to just… to just say something. Anything. Anything to spend one second, one moment, longer with Drake Walker, the man she loved.

 Loved. Past tense.

 A shot through her heart, too. Reality rushed in, body shuddering with tears and screams, Liam trying to quiet her as he pulled her down the hall, arms taunt against her body as she fought against him. “Drake’s dead, Liam and—”

 “We don’t know that. They’re trying to save him. Calm down, Jaela, please.” How was he so clam?

 She turned in his arms, Liam taking the chance to move her into the lobby, Maxwell and Hana standing up, eyes wide. She gripped his shirt, everything heavy and light and twisted at once and all too much. Drake dead… dying… coma—was there a difference?—and Liam, telling her she has only one option. Be with him or… or what else? How could he do this? Didn’t he understand? How much had the crown changed him—the man who couldn’t wait for their escapes and when they could only be Liam and Jaela, not Prince or King and Lady of the Court?

 She stared into Liam’s face, the fine lines evident. Even if she wasn’t pregnant, did she want to be with the man who changed, the one who had to put on a show for the most of his life? How much of the real Liam would she see—and would she want to put on the show beside him? Could she?

 No.

 Liam tried to pull her closer, comfort in his voice. “It’s okay, Jaela, it’ll be—”

 “It won’t! He didn’t deserve this! I do! Drake shouldn’t be the de-dead one in there, I should be!” she yelled, pushing against him, hard.

 Liam gasped, but didn’t release her, only holding her closer. “Jaela, don’t you ever say that—”

 “Let me go! I need to see—”

 His hold was too much. She didn’t deserve him, either. Neither of them. She jumped, using that momentum to separate herself from him, but that only lasted a second, breaking free and taking two steps towards the hall, but he caught her wrist, bringing her back to him, Jaela noticing the fresh tears on his cheeks too. “We can’t, we—”

 “Let me go! Liam, let me go!” she screamed, trying so hard to break free from his arms again, tears flowing once more, voice raw and horse as she sobbed over and over, each one like a wave, rolling over and crashing against her, throwing her against hard sand, unforgiving yet deserving.

 “Jaela, I—I can’t—” He gasped, pulling her back to the center of the lobby. She struggled against him, pushing against his chest. A doctor, walking out, pausing to stare at them. There was where he’d say it: Drake, dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. “We can’t do anything—”

 “Liam,” she gasped, chest heaving, eyes pleading. “Let me go!” With a final push, Liam released her and she stumbled, vision blurred, and hit a white wall. Nobody moved, the shock of pain in her arm stopping the tears—but only for a moment. One sweet moment when reality was blissfully ripped away, the world folding back to her bedroom with him, staring into his warm, dark eyes as he held her—but it was just that. One moment.

 Jaela slid down the wall, curling her legs to her chest, sobs ripping through her entire being. “It… it should’ve been me,” she managed, clutching her robe, staring at the speckled floor. Nobody, not Liam nor Hana nor Maxwell answered or touched her. “It was supposed to be me…”

 “No, don’t touch her. Let her be…”

 Did time matter when grieving? Jaela didn’t think so, sobs turning to silent shudders, then to sniffs and finally, to nothing, voices murmuring all around her, feet shuffling, eyes shut as she sat against the wall. Maybe it was five minutes. Maybe it was a few hours. She didn’t know. All she heard over the quiet, distant sounds was that of still heart. Heartbeat, gone from right behind her—and what was she doing? Arguing with Liam if she gets a choice in what they’re going to be now that he knows about her pregnancy, something they could have tried harder to prevent… but didn’t. Never even talked about it. Just… made too many mistakes.

 “Thank-you, Doctor. I’ll get her back to her room.”

 Hands, warm, picked her up and carried her back to her room, Jaela looking at Liam’s shirt pocket, the sonogram peeking out. Her stomach dropped. He loved the baby, already, and she… she didn’t know what to feel, still.

 Liam set her on the bed with care, and she stared at the door, knees to her chest. There was silence. She couldn’t even cry. Had the tears run out? Had reality shocked her still? “Does Savannah know?” Her voice, barely above a whisper.

 “Know what?”

 “That he’s… he’s…”

 “He’s alive, Jaela.” Liam walked around into her view, pulling up a chair. She could only stare, mouth open. Everything seemed to say he was dead. Everything. But… he was… alive? How? “Barely. But he is. He’s a fighter.” Frowning, Liam reached out his hand to hers. Tentatively, she took it. What was next? “But… it’s not looking good. The… the doctors said they don’t want you in there with him until… until he wakes up. Or at least stabilizes to a point where they’re comfortable.”

 Oh, how she wanted to protest and scream that it wasn’t fair, that she wanted to sit by his side and tell him everything and then the world—but she meekly nodded. “Okay,” she said, then somehow, pulled herself up to a sitting position.

 “No fighting?”

 “No,” she sighed, removing her hand from his, tracing the lines of her own palm.

 Drake did that once, one night in her cabin, both a little whiskey drunk. Her, more than him, of course. Sitting crossed legged like kids, she pretended to read his palm, then he to her, saying sillier things than she could even think of. How warm he was, how many shocks and tingles he sent through her, just by tracing little lines. How hard she kissed him that night. How he laid her against the floor, the vibrations from the train running through her body, his lips on her neck. How she nearly begged him to touch her, pressing her hips against his, teeth grazing against his ear as she whispered exactly what she wanted, but he pulled away, as always, saying he needed to go. How even if he did that every time, she fell more and more in love with him.

 “Liam,” she whispered, looking up, closing her hand around her finger. “You’re not serious about me becoming Queen, right?”

 Matching her gaze, he nodded. “I am. There’s… there’s not a choice, Jaela. Not if you want our child to be considered a…”

 “I don’t want to talk about what’ll happen to our kid if I say no to you,” she said, voice growing stronger. This was important. “We… can we just be Liam and Jaela, figuring out where we—as two regular people—go from here, without thinking about the monarchy or the baby? Can we just figure out… where we stand and what we want?”

 Liam grimaced, shaking his head. Chewing on her lip, Jaela took his hand again, looking into his eyes. “We owe it to this baby,” she started, touching her stomach. “To figure out what we’re going to do with us before we figure out what to do with it.”

 “What to do with—”

 “One step at a time, please, Liam.”

 Taking a deep breath, he stood up, still holding her hand. “Okay, yes, you’re right. One step at a time,” he paused. “So… where do we begin… with us?”

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

[thorns-and--thistles]

Moon on the Bridge (Bias x Reader) Pt. 2

By the time you get home, you have a test to study for and still a restless mind. Perhaps I should’ve slept with him, you pout.

You study for the rest of the night and when you finally get in bed, alone, you’re faced with your thoughts.

“I left him,” you say aloud, letting yourself know what’s done is done and to stop being emotional.

You left B/N. All because you were both going to school in different countries. You didn’t want a long distance relationship, especially at your age. So you broke up with him, despite him saying it could work. 

It could’ve worked, had you been determined enough. Had you loved him enough, you frequently tell yourself.

“Is that the only reason?” B/N had asked when you ended it. It wasn’t. And you weren’t going to lie to him. 

The thought of commitment to one person terrified you more than you expected. And with your friends and family breathing down your neck to see other people and not settle too soon skewed your thoughts. So you bailed.

You wished that you two broke up like a regular couple. With you hating him, or no longer feeling the same way. But he did nothing that was worth disliking him for. 

You thought you were good with your emotions. Keeping them under control. You hadn’t thought of him this way in so long that you wondered if you had felt anything at all during those years with him. 

But just seeing him, hearing his voice and seeing his face. Having his hand touch you. And those eyes. And that smile. It was like a kick in the gut. And seeing Eden with him was like a slap to the face. You deserved that. 

You curl up in bed. You’ve been holding it in for the entire night and you feel so stupid for reacting this way, but you can’t help it. You cry. You cry into your pillow at what you lost and gave up, wondering if you really made a bad decision. 

Eden is watching him as they eat dinner, their friends chatting beside them, not yet noticing the tense atmosphere.

“What?” B/N finally asks her, noting how hard she’s been boring her eyes into him.

“You know what,” her arms are crossed, her jaw set, “Is that why you came here?” 

He wants to tell her it’s none of her business. He sighs, leaning back into his chair, “No,”

“But you knew she’d be here,” 

Again, no. He didn’t. 

Her attitude right now was annoying him. She wasn’t his girlfriend exactly, but lately she’s been acting as such and he’s not sure how it took such a turn. Yes, they’ve been together a few times, but he hadn’t pushed the label of anything. 

“Did you come here to rekindle a dead flame?” he can see the cynical look in her eyes, hear the sneer in her voice. A dead flame. He knows she’s mocking him, trying to get him as annoyed as her. 

It’s working. 

He looks at her without a word until she looks away awkwardly. He hates to admit it, but she was right. 

As the night goes on, B/N engages as best with his friends but he’s not there mentally. His mind keeps going back to seeing Y/N. He didn’t expect to see her, the city was too big to see the same person twice. And since moving here six months ago, he gave up on that. But seeing her tonight? It was all a matter of chance so he was more than surprised at the odds.

The commotion when she fell caught his attention but the sight of her kept it. How could someone look so graceful as they stood up? The way she pushed her hair from her face as she looked at him. The way her eyes stared into his own. For a moment he forget everything bad that happened between them. 

He could’ve walked away, he didn’t have to go to her. 

But she had fallen and it felt wrong for him to do that. His only concern was to make sure she was okay. He sighs. Why is he lying to himself? Her fall was a perfect excuse to talk to her.

She was visibly surprised at his actions towards her but he wasn’t. No matter what, he couldn’t hate Y/N. He also couldn’t blame her for her decision.

But B/W. He realized he made a bigger mistake in going to her when he saw the man that came to Y/N’s aid. He didn’t even notice she didn’t have her coat on, but he did. And he felt jealousy! Of all the things.. Something he should be feeling in regards to Eden. Is that why he took Eden’s hand when he walked away?

He knows he’s deep in thought because a friend asks if he’s okay and Eden looks at him. 

“Excuse me,” he dismisses himself, stepping into the cold to numb his feelings he’s kept suppressed for so long. And also to escape Eden’s relentless glare. 

“Let it go,” he whispers to himself as he leans his head against the brick wall.

Closing his eyes, he forces himself to think of anything else, even Eden, and not his past lover. But even with his eyes shut, he sees her standing before him, eyes locked on him in surprise and caution.

Y/N... he breathes out the thought, as if it were a wish that no one would ever hear, it’s been a long time.

The next few days pass by normally. You head to work at the book store, eating a snack before your shift starts. It’s a slow and quiet day, perks of working in a place where students study and sleep.

You’re restocking and arranging books when the door chimes. It’s B/W and you slightly panic. Why is he here? Are you going to have to deal with another guy that can’t accept ‘no’?

“Hey,” he says. The trolly of books separates you both.

“What are you doing here?” you haven’t seen him since that night which was two days ago and didn’t expect to speak to him either.

“I can’t say hi to a friend?”

“We’re friends?” It’s a slight joke but you mean the question. And you can tell that your response stung him.

“Friends with benefits? Remember?” he bites back. 

You raise the book in your hand, prepared to throw it at him as he ducks, “Don’t talk so loud,”

“Can’t we be friends though? I don’t even need the benefits, although I want them…”

“There’s no benefit in being my friend,”

He thinks for a moment, “True,” and you glare at him, “But, we were friends before this started. And I like having you around,”

You place the books into their slots, “I meant what I said. Friendships are hard to have after something like that,”

“And I know this. So many women can’t handle the fact that I ended it with them,” he sighs dramatically.

You roll your eyes, “And you’re acting just like them,”

“I won’t bother you. I won’t even try anything with you. I just-”

The door chimes again and in walks Eden with B/N behind her. You feel your eyes bulge as you gasp which makes B/W stop talking. 

This can’t be happening. 

“What is it?”

“Act like you’re in love with me,” you whisper frantically.

“Am I not being obvious enough or…?” he glances back and turns to you with a smirk, “Ah~”

“Do something,” you plead, wanting to hide or die.

He folds his arms, “Only if we can be friends,”

They haven’t seen you yet and you’re wondering how fast you can get to the back door, “Friends. Fine,”

B/W smooths his hair back, pushing the book cart aside. He holds your face in his hands, but you’re looking at them and thinking how fast you can disappear.

“Now act like you’re in love with me,” B/W says softly, brushing your cheek with his thumb.

“Wha-” He presses his lips against yours, kissing you in such a way that you almost forget why you had him do this.

Someone clears their throat, “Excuse me, do you work here?”

You pull from the kiss, seeing Eden and B/N, both looking surprised. But then her face tenses as she glances at B/N who simply stands there, staring. You wipe your mouth timidly, avoiding his eyes. 

Why does the look on his face hurt you a bit? And why do you feel as if you did something you shouldn’t have?

B/W scratches his head with a nervous smile, “Well, this is awkward. We usually never get caught,”

You elbow him and he winces.

“Cutting it close?” B/N says in a light tone and B/W laughs as well. 

“Sorry about this, how can I help you?” you ask them, looking at Eden.

But Eden puts up her hand, “You know what, never mind. There’s nothing here that we need. Let’s go, B/N,”

She walks away, B/N following before pausing. He looks at you as if he’s about to say something but decides against it, following Eden.

You press your hand against your chest, breathing out, “Thanks,” but you still feel weird. What was B/N going to say?

B/W stands in front of you, watching you carefully.

“What?” you ask.

“How are we gonna stay as friends if you keep asking me to kiss you? Gosh Y/N, what a way to confuse a man,” he turns his collar up before leaving the store.

Playlist for this chapter:

BTOB - Missing You.

BTOB - It’s Okay

YeYe - ゆらゆら

Bon Iver - Holocene

Lord Huron - Meet Me In The Woods

[anonwriter27]

Teen Spirit - Chapter 10 (Merry Christmas!)

“Stark I know you have me for secret Santa!” Ygritte yelled.

“No I don’t, maybe it’s Theon.” Robb said but his tick proved he was lying. All Starks looked at their feet when they lied, even Jon did it.

“Yeah yeah, the Panic at ten Disco CD is on sale. You’ll find it in the second aisle, third shelf down.” She said casually.

Robb shook his head, “You know the whole point of secret Santa is that it’s a secret.”

“Whatever, now what are you getting Myrcella for Christmas?”

“I have something in mind; I’ll have to give her it soon though, she’ll be heading back to Casterly Rock in the next two days.” He said, though he didn’t want to think about it.

“Did she not tell you?” Ygritte asked and Robb shook his head confused, “There having a big Lannister/Baratheon Christmas at Kings Landing. Myrcella decided not to go.”

“How come?” Robb asked concerned.

“Because a certain shit will be there.” Ygritte said through gritted teeth.

Robb tensed at the mention of Joffrey. He was glad Myrcella wasn’t going south for Christmas, but he couldn’t understand why she hadn’t told him.

“I’d stay with her, but me Osha and Hodor have booked our train tickets.” Ygritte said but Robb could see that the thought of a Myrcella spending Christmas alone was bothering her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.” Robb said assuringly.

………………

As he expected she was in the library, her nose buried in a book she had probably read a hundred times before.

He came up behind her and hugged her, kissing her neck softly as she giggled. She didn’t flinch anymore and Robb loved it; it meant that she wasn’t afraid, that she felt safe with him.

“You’re going to get us kicked out the library.” She said, attempting a serious tone.

“Good, you spend too long in here anyway.” He murmured against her skin.

“Can I help you with something?” She asked.

“One thing.” He said and she turned in his arms to face him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were spending Christmas alone?”

He could tell by the way her eyes widened and her blush spread that she hadn’t intended on being caught.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just another day really. We don’t really celebrate it back home anyway, my parents drink till they fall asleep and my grandfather looks on disapprovingly.” She rambled.

“You can’t spend it alone. Why don’t you spend it with me and my family?”

Myrcella was surprised by his offer, sometimes it amazed her how caring he was. He would never expect anything in return either, he just liked to see her happy.

“I couldn’t do that…”

“Why not?”

“Well, shouldn’t you ask your parents first?” She asked, hating the idea of being an inconvenience.

“If it’ll make you feel better I’ll ask,” he smiled assuringly, “But they’re going to say yes.”

“So, a Stark family Christmas?”

“Let’s see if you can handle it.” He chuckled.

………………

“You know you probably should already have a tree by now.” Ygritte sighed.

Ygritte had agreed to help Jon look for a christmas tree, something about Arya and Rickon ruining the last one.

“We had one.” Jon insisted for the fifth time, “Rickon is just a little… adventurous.”

“Meaning?”

“He wanted to be Tarzan.” Jon said and Ygritte burst out laughing. Jon liked it when she laughed.

“Okay so we need a Rickon proof tree?”

“Exactly.”

They looked around at the trees, attempting to find one sturdy enough to withstand Rickon. They walked in comfortable silence, but Jon wanted to learn more about the girl he’d been spending time with.

“So your heading home for Christmas?”

“Yeah, tomorrow night.” She said, “Are you visiting your parents? They live quite a way away right?”

“Yeah they live in Pentos. But no, I’m staying with my aunt and uncle again.”

“You must miss them.” She offered.

“We call each other a lot but they don’t really like coming back here.” Jon thought back to the last time his parents had visited, fights broke out, people said things. His father had made a lot of enemies,  Pentos had given them a fresh start. Jon would have gone with them, but he liked it at his uncle’s house; he had friends and family here, and now, he had Ygritte.

“Are you going to see your parents?” He asked.

“Oh um..no, my parents passed away some time ago.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Don’t be, it’s fine….. I mean it’s not fine but…. I’m fine. I stay with my uncle Tormund, he’s a pretty cool guy.”She said with a sad smile.

“Here, what do you think of this one?” She said, pointing to a large, robust tree.

“Perfect.” He said, earning him a rare smile that took his breath away.

…………..

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all was not calm at the Stark household.

Arya and Rickon had decided to play in the snow along with their husky pups, in an attempt to distract him from the cupcakes Catelyn was baking.

Sansa was wrapping presents, which became increasingly difficult as Lady (her pup) kept playing with the ribbon.

Bran was writing a letter. To who? No one knew (except Robb of course).

Jon was putting up the new Christmas tree, while Theon snacked on gingerbread men.

Catelyn and Ned were in the kitchen drinking eggnog, baking the rest of the cakes for tomorrow.

All was going well until……

“Rickon no!!!”

Everyone’s heads turned to see Rickon running full speed ahead into the kitchen. Jon tried to catch him but tripped over the tree causing it to fall on top of Theon.

Sansa jumped to the rescue to try and hug him into submission but slipped over Bran’s stationary set causing ink to spill everywhere.

Arya ran in after him, her clothes dripping wet from the melted snow leaving a puddle on the floor.

“What is going on?” Robb said before he slipped on the wet floor.

“Everybody freeze!” Ned shouted, and everyone stopped what they were doing. Everyone except  the six puppies that barged into the room knocking over the table.

After the chaos, the dogs were banished to their kennels and Rickon to his room.

“Look at you!”

“Mother please…” Robb whined while his mother took photo after photo of him.

“Oh But Robb you look so cute in your Christmas jumper!”

“Yeah Robb, you look sooooo cute!” Theon laughed with glee.

“Okay! No more jumper!” Robb said and was about to head upstairs when his father stopped him.

“Actually Robb I was wondering if I could have a quick word.”

His father looked nervous which was strange, Ned Stark never looked nervous. Robb walked into his office and sat in the chair opposite him.

“Robb…you are at a certain age now where you’re going to feel certain things…umm…certain urges.”

Robb cringed, he knew where this was going.

“It’s important to know what to do and how to behave when you decide to act on those…”

“Dad? I know, umm… my teachers kind of covered this in class.”

“Oh, I see.”

“But I appreciate the concern.”

“Good, well as long as we understand each other. While we’re on this topic, me and your mother have discussed this and have agreed that you and Myrcella may share a room tonight if you wish.”

Robb gulped.

“That doesn’t mean you have to. You can wait…”

“Thanks dad.” Robb said and to his relief his father smiled, their awkward conversation forgotten. …………….

They were all gathered on the sofas watching Love Actually. Myrcella had been a nice addition to their Christmas. She helped them bake, sang the carols, she even helped put Rickon to bed. She was part of the family already, and she didn’t even realise.

The movie had ended and everyone decided to go to bed, eager to start the next day.

Robb let Myrcella get ready for bed before he joined her, he didn’t want her to feel under pressure or nervous. After a few moments he came in, and was amazed by how beautiful she looked.

She was only in red flannel pyjamas, but she was radiant. They both walked to each side of the bed unsure of what to do next.

“If you want I can sleep on the sofa,I don’t mind…”

“No! I mean… you can if you want…but I don’t want…” She was starting to ramble, so Robb leaned across the bed and kissed her slowly.

“Want to read?” He asked and she nodded eagerly.

They read Wuthering Heights and listened to Samson by Regina Spektor. The snow fell softly outside the window, as though it were in time with the music.

They turned to look at each other and before they knew it their lips were pressed gently against one another’s. Robb hovered above her, and instead of feeling frightened or nervous, Myrcella felt safe.

In fact, it was probably the safest Myrcella had ever felt in her entire life. They undressed slowly, neither one wanting to rush this moment. Each touch against her skin was gentle and feather light, and every pull of his hair sent a shiver down Robb’s spine.

Just like the start of their romance it was slow, but full of hope.

They fell asleep in each others arms, a whispered ‘I love you’ resting on their lips.

……………

A Christmas day filled with happiness was not something Myrcella was accustomed to, but it was something she could get used to.

“Who are you texting Jon?” Ned asked.

“Oh no one.” He said, hiding from Myrcella’s knowing smile.

“That’s quite the stationary set Bran. Must be a good friend to have gotten you that.”Theon pointed out.

“Yeah,” Bran blushed, “A really good friend.”

Robb had already put on the jumper Myrcella had got him and listened to the Lord Huron CD she had given him the night before. He was holding her in his arms now while she read the complete Shakespeare collection he had gifted her. (She nearly cried when she got it).

Arya and Sansa were playing dress up with Rickon, trying to get him to sit still while they put the finishing touches to his elf costume.

Ned and Catelyn sat back and watched them all, grateful for another exceptional year.

[tomimagines]

Fall Into Place

Characters: Tom Holland - Michelle Jones - Y/N

Notes: A lot of people have been asking for a Peter Parker imagine and when I ran a poll on Twitter about what kind of imagine I should write next cute/sad were the top two so I combines all topics and created this.

Song: Stuck On Stupid - Chris Brown

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re nervous.

Honestly, when are you not.

You stand in front of your life-size mirror and look over your outfit for what seems like the upteenth time. It was just another high school dance, no big deal, but it was a reason for you and your friends to dress up and hang out for a few hours.

It was also a reason for you to be able to see him there too. That’s if he even shows up.

You could text Ned or Michelle and ask if they knew if he was going to the dance but then they’ll get curious and you don’t want them to start asking questions.

You’ve been able to hide your crush for Peter Parker for several years now. You’ve been one of his closest friends and you’ve enjoyed being just that. But there have been nights where you lay awake, staring at his name on the phone and ponder if you should just tell him; rip it off like a bandaid and let the rest just fall into place.

Tonight could be the night, where everything could fall right into place. You had formed a small plan in your head on how tonight should go but right now it all depended on his appearance at the dance.

You step through your high school doors and the muted music from inside meets your ears. You nibble on your bottom lip nervously and pull open the interior doors to the gym. Soft red and blue lights flash across your face and your eyes immediately roam the floor for familiar faces.

You spot several of your friends across the gym and make your way to them. You all greet and bathe each other in compliments before you’re offered a drink.

Now you stand by your friends and start looking for a specific someone. ‘The Night We Met’ by Lord Huron starts to play and every couple makes their way to floor, hands on waist, arms around necks.

He isn’t here.

You shouldn’t be surprised. For months he’s been missing classes, school events, even study groups that you’ve organized for exams. And every time he comes back with a bruised eye, scratches, a limp.

You make eye contact with Michelle, who’s standing next to Ned, and she smiles in your direction. It’s a “I’m sorry” smile. She’s the only person you could trust to tell her about how you felt so she knew who you were looking for.

You breathe in deeply and take a small drink. You look away from the view of the couples dancing romantically.

Your plan has already gone to shit. You take out your phone and scroll through your messages until you find his name. You type quickly and then hesitate before you tap ‘send’.

You stare at the screen, anxious.

Then the three small, gray dots start to bounce back and forth, your heart following right away.

He replies.

Turn around.

You lower your phone down slowly. The music completely fades as well as the people milling around. You turn slowly and he’s there.

Oh God he’s here.

He’s standing in black fitted suit, bowtie included. He smiles at you and you feel yourself smile back. He steps forward and seems like he wants to keep going but stops a few feet away from you.

“Hi,” he starts.

“Hey,” you say at the same time which makes both of you laugh softly.

“I didn’t think you were going to make it,” you tell him. “Um, some people were asking for you,” you add quickly as an explanation.

He chuckles, looking down at the ground and nodding. “Yeah, I’m sure they were.”

The blood rises to your cheeks and you’re thankful for the low lighting. “I’m glad you’re here, though.”

His eyes find yours. “I’m glad I am too. You look amazing.. I mean, you always do but tonight-”

Did he just compliment you? How do you breathe again?

He steps closer to you and it’s then that you notice what he’s holding in his hand. One rose. A white, beautiful rose.

He hands it to you.

You take it and your fingers brush against his softly.

You’re at a complete loss for words. He brought you a rose.

“Thank you,” you smile at him and he smiles even wider.

“Do you- Do you maybe want to dance with me?” He asks, pointing over his shoulder. His other hand rises and asks for yours.

You nod and place your hand in his and the buzzing feeling the contact makes rushes all the way to your chest. Your whole body is buzzing.

He links your fingers with yours and waits for you until you’re next to him and then leads the way to the floor.

Just when you thought your plan was ruined, he turns up and helps it all fall back into place.

He stops and then turns to face you. ‘Stuck on Stupid’ by Chris Brown begins to play and his arm wraps around your waist so that he pulls you flush against him. Your hand, along with your favorite rose in the world, rest on his shoulder and he takes your other hand in his.

You both begin to sway to the music. “You know how to dance?”

You hear him chuckle next to you. “Aunt May is a good teacher.”

Your face is inches beside his own and you notice the small bruise formed on his upper cheek. You frown. You reach with your fingers and brush them lightly across his skin. He flinches and you frown even more.

“Peter,” you start but he shakes his head and so you drop it.

“Do you know?” You ask him.

He turns to look at you, his eyes searching yours before he smiles. “I’d always known. But I was never completely sure and so I waited for you to tell me that you had feelings for me.”

You bite your lip and look down, laughing. “I’m sorry if this makes things weird for us…”

He shakes his head and then rests his forehead on yours. You close your eyes, feeling completely out of this world. “I’ve felt the same ever since I met you…”

You lean into him even more and hold him tighter.

“Will you come with me?”

You open your eyes and nod. At this point, you’d go anywhere with him before the night ended.

He takes your hand in his once more and pulls you away from the floor. You walk past the crowds of people and exit the gym. You walk together along the empty and dark hallways until he turns a corner and opens a side door.

You start to climb up some stairs and now you become some confused. “Peter, where are we going?”

“You’ll see…”

You trust him and so you keep following him. You finally reach the top and he open yet another door and the outside air meets your face.

You step out and the New York skyview surrounds both of you.

“How did you find this place?” You ask Peter, completely amazed.

He shrugs. “I like heights.”

You laugh and let go of his hand to walk forward to take in the view.

Tonight couldn’t be going any more perfect.

You turn to Peter and wave him over. He chuckles and joins your side. You keep gazing at the clear sky, the bright lights from the skyscrapers from the city. You don’t even know that Peter is staring straight at you.

He’s smiling at himself because it causes him nothing but joy to see you so happy.

But then his smile falls.

He looks down at your hand and takes it, which makes you turn your attention to him. He’s looking at your joined hands but his face almost seems sad.

“I wish things were different.”

“What do you mean?” Things are perfect right now.

“I’m going to tell you something.”

“Okay… what is it?”

He finally lifts his face to look at you. A small worry line has formed in his forehead. You slowly begin to panic.

“I’m not who you think I am. I mean- I am but I’m something else too,” he begins.

You laugh nervously, “Peter, you’re not really making any sense.”

“I’m Spider-Man.”

That hits you like a punch in the face.

But then you start to think about all the disappearances and the bruises and it all starts falling into place. How did you not figure it out?

Your panic ceases and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “That just makes you even more amazing. It makes you incredible! Peter, you’re a hero! Oh my God, I’m holding hands with Spider-Man.”

He chuckles but the sound doesn’t sound cheerful. “Y/n, I wish things were different. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t Spider-Man and I was just a normal high school boy who could date a beautiful girl like you but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

He hesitates and you squeeze his hand softly to tell him that it’s okay. He breathes in deeply and then places his hands on either side of your face. He leans down just a bit so that he’s level with you.

“If they know about you- if the enemies I protect this city from know that my weakness is you… I can’t risk them ever touching you.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” you argue. “Peter, I can keep a secret.”

He shakes his head. “I’m leaving as well. There’s a war coming and I’m leaving to help out Tony Stark.”

You feel your eyes start to water.

He can’t. Tonight is supposed to be perfect.

“I couldn’t leave without having one dance with my girl. And you deserve an explanation for when I leave tonight.”

“Tonight?” You repeat, your heart breaking piece by piece. “But I’ll see you again! You’ll come back and maybe we can-”

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “This isn’t just any battle where I stop someone from robbing a bank. This is bigger than this Earth. I don’t know if I’ll come back.”

You’re sobbing now. He pulls you into him so that your face cries onto his chest. “Then don’t go…”

“I wish it was that simple. But it’s my responsibility… I want to be able to save this planet so that you and all the other people I love, have a future. This is why I have this power. Why I was given this power.”

You understand but you don’t want to. You don’t want to accept that what he says it’s true. You have a plan. You had a plan.

You pull your face back to look up at him and he wipes at your wet cheeks. He smiles because he can see in your eyes that you understand. It’s one of the many reasons he loves you so much.

He slowly leans down and you close your eyes the instant his lips meet yours. They’re soft and gentle, showing their bittersweet emotion. You kiss him back, trying to memorize every millisecond of this moment.

He pulls his face back but his eyes remain closed. He breathes out through his nose. “I’m going to engrave that into my mind.”

You laugh softly and peck his lips one more time.

He opens his eyes and the sadness is in them again. He steps back and the hole in your chest begins to grow.

“I know this is asking too much from you but, will you wait for me?”

You nod immediately, not even hesitating.

“Thank you for one of the best nights of my life. I’m going to miss you,” he confesses.

“Me too,” you mumble out and manage to smile at him.

You watch as he shoots a web at the nearest building and with one last sad smile, he whisks himself into the night.

Your tears start to fall again and you look down at the bright white rose that it still in your hand. You hold it near you and you promise to never let it die.

And you hope, on all hope, that it all falls back into place one day.