#BECAUSE LIKE………HES BEING GROOMED ON THE PROMISE OF BEING A MODEL BY SOME OLDER MAN HELLOOOOO

[jemamore]

so I finally watched the Lovely Writer special 🤡Aoey stans stay losing

[writer-panda]

The Hit on the Groom and What Became of It - Chapter 3/Leaps in logic (and over the edge of the rooftop)

Chapter 1  -|-  Previous -|- Next

---------

Adrien’s day wasn’t good at first. Okay, it was straight-up terrible. For most, their wedding is supposed to be a happy day. Or at least a reason for celebrations. Adrien? He couldn’t even hope for a cake since it would ruin his model body.

For the last several months, his father was working him into an early grave. The extra photo sessions, harder classes, new exercise regime… and Lila. The last one was terrifying. 

Adrien tried to hold onto hope that his father would in the end cancel the whole affair. That he would drop the ridiculous notion of wedding or at least push it back. The young model wasn’t sure exactly why was his father so insistent on pushing for the wedding. He repeatedly asked himself if Lila was blackmailing his father, but it was hard to think of anything that his father possibly could be blackmailed with. Adrien spent countless hours wondering if his father had some dark secret, but it didn’t fit the man. 

Did the designer have an affair with Nathalie? No… he already got angry about the suggestion once. And even if so, it wasn’t something that he would be so ashamed about. 

Was his father doing some illegal business dealings? It was somewhat possible, but what? It would need to be something big. Something extremely big. 

Thinking rationally, he had no idea what could it be…

What could be so big that it was worth more than the happiness of his only son?

--------

When one looks at all that, being kidnapped right at the altar was almost… nice. Sure, Adrien had been dragged by a sentient pile of mud into the sewers and then carried to some unknown location. Sure, his beautiful suit was ruined and all the hard work Marinette put into her work was irreversibly wasted. 

But, he was not married to Lila. 

The pile of mud dragged him deep into the sewers until they found a ladder leading up. It appeared to be grievously damaged, with several steps in the row removed. Adrien didn’t protest much when he was lifted up and into the place above. 

The place turned out to be a quite comfy flat. It was overall smaller than Adrien’s room back in Paris, but it felt more welcoming. It only had one big room, divided in half with a plywood panel. In the first ‘room’, there was a couch, a small table with three chairs, a tv on a cabinet, and two armchairs. It all appeared to be old and worn out. The second part held two beds (one without any mattress), a desk with an old computer, and a kitchen annex. It was… nice. Adrien almost liked it better than the big, sterile manor. 

The pile of mud seated him on one of the chairs before condensing into humanoid form. Slowly, his body turned human and in the end, he looked almost exactly like the wedding officiator. The man pulled his phone and sent some text before turning to Adrien. 

“Do you want something to eat?” He asked, walking over to the kitchen annex.

“Um… anything would do.” Adrien hesitantly spoke up. He was only slightly scared. Honestly, first, he is saved from the wedding and now he is given free food? Yes, purr-lease!

“Vegan or non-vegan?”

“I would kill for a fat, juicy steak…” Adrien remembered his last photo session, which was advertising the summer collection. One of the photos had him standing over the BBQ grill. The smell of the food being prepared almost made him salivate back then. 

“Ah… The actor’s diet?” His kidnapper/savior asked, giving him a knowing look at the same time.

“Yeah… I’m a model, but I heard it’s the same” Adrien corrected. 

“I’ll get you something. We need to wait anyway.” 

Adrien chose not to speak to the man while he was cooking. It was still a bit awkward. He was being kidnapped.

It didn’t matter. The meal was too good to complain. Who cares about kidnapping when one is given some meat. It was a light meal, probably not to upset his stomach, but it was still more than he hoped for that day. 

Of course, it couldn’t be that pretty.

The moment Adrien finished with the first piece of meat and was reaching for another, the doors were violently kicked and a man entered. He was dressed in a red bodysuit with silverly metallic elements. His helmet had one eye replaced with a red… monocle?

The explosion was quickly followed by a single gunshot. The moment it sounded, Clayface (because that was the name of the ‘pile of mud’) became frozen in place. Literally. He was covered head to toes in ice.

“My steak!” Adrien cried as he was being dragged away by the newcomer. 

They were already away when Clayface managed to break through the ice. He wanted to pursue them, but his phone rang suddenly, giving him a pause.

“Who is this?!” He snarled, irritated at the interruption.

“I was led to believe you have what I wanted.” The voice on the other side growled and Clayface paused. It sent shivers down his figurative spine. His employer sounded dangerous. 

“Ah… Yes… There’s been a… complication.” He stuttered, hoping it wasn’t too apparent. Whoever was on the other side made a terrifying first impression.

“What do you mean ‘complication’?” They hissed. Clayface stumbled and almost dropped the phone. He knew the employer was someone powerful, but it was a whole new level of scary. Sure, he was technically a mercenary, but until today his biggest job was some light security gig. This was supposed to be his way of reinventing himself into part of the major league. But this was being much more overwhelming. 

He quickly got to the point where his employer should’ve been somewhat satisfied and hanged up quickly. He had to get the boy before he became the target himself.

----------

Elsewhere, Adrien was starring into a pair of curious sea-green eyes.

When his new kidnapper brought him to the apartment and tied him to the chair, Adrien was still bemoaning the loss of his steak. He disliked the lack of freedom, but he was still feeling safer than with Lila and his father. Objectively looking at it, he knew it was wrong, but he preferred to be kidnapped. 

To his surprise, the kidnapped tossed him and the chair into some spare room of the flat they were in when the doorbell rang. There were also some curse words, but Adrien chose to disregard them.

It took a very energetic girl (about two years younger than him) all five minutes to figure out he was in that room. Not that the man made it particularly hard, leaving the doors half-open and all that.

She leveled her head so that they were on an equal level and stared into his face with an inquisitive glare.

“Daddy! You promised not to work on our day together!” She turned to the man and complained. “You clearly kidnapped him!”

“I’m really sorry, cupcake. I didn’t plan it. The time zone changes can really mess up with the calendar.”

“If it helps, this is better than the alternative.” Adrien smiled shyly.

“How is being tied to the chair good?”

“It’s better than being forced to get married.” The boy deadpanned.

“Fine.” She then turned to her father “But you will untie him. He can join us in our board game evening.” She declared imperatively.

“You won’t try anything, right?” The man glared at Adrien, who shrugged (as much as the binds allowed him). 

“I quite like it here. I could do with some water, but it’s really better than how the day was supposed to go.”

The man sighed and walked over to the boy. The rope fell to the floor and Adrien could move freely. Yet, he didn’t immediately move. He did try to get up, but the world swirled and blackness consumed his consciousness.

----------

When he woke up, he was once again faced with a set of sea-green eyes. The girl apparently liked to stare at faces in close quarters. Not that Adrien complained much as long as she didn’t actually touch him. He was used to the attention. 

“You must’ve been really tired. Daddy said he almost wanted to get you to a hospital.” That woke Adrien very quickly.

“No hospital!” He launched himself to sit straight up and almost crashed with the girl. Luckily, she moved out of the way. Otherwise, her father might’ve actually sent him to the hospital. Probably in pieces too. 

“Don’t worry.” Speaking of the devil, the man entered the room with a platter full of fast food and a glass of water. There was a hamburger there!

“Zoe. Please leave us alone for a moment. I need to discuss some things with Mr. Agreste.”

“Sure. But remember you promised not to hurt him. And we promised him board games.” She reminded her father before happily skipping out of the room. 

Once she was out, the man handed him the platter and Adrien practically leaped to devour the food. 

“So…” His kidnapper/temporary caretaker started awkwardly. “If it’s any help, I’m sorry for kidnapping you.” 

“Dot wowwy” Adrien dismissed him with a mouth full of burger. His father would lock him up for months if he saw him, but the boy was way past caring about it. He gulped before continuing though, as it was a shame to waste anything of the tasty goodies. “Seriously, you guys are making me a favor.” 

“Huh?” The man raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah! If not for this,” he gestured vaguely around the room, albeit it was clear he meant kidnapping, “I would’ve probably been married already.”

“Ah… And I guess the wedding wasn’t your idea.” It wasn’t a question. Deadshot (because he was the kidnapper if it wasn’t yet obvious) had some experience with runaway brides. Grooms escaping arranged marriage were rarer, but not unheard of. He used to take those tasks without remorse. At least until one time, when he tracked the bride, instead of an adult woman like usual, he found a pre-teenage girl. She couldn’t have been older than his own daughter at the time. 

Let’s just say that he failed to deliver that contract. Or any similar in the future. 

“Sir?” Adrien asked once he finished the meal.

“Yeah?”

“Could I get some more?”

“In a moment. Let what you ate settle down first.” He scolded him lightly, his parental instincts kicking in. “So, do you have any idea who might’ve wanted you kidnapped?”

“Not really… Only Marinette and Gerard cared about my opinion on this matter. And neither is the kind that would arrange a kidnapping.” He did his best not to think about his past as Chat Noir. No one but Ladybug knew, but his Lady wasn’t someone that would get involved with criminals. And even then, he doubted she could afford mercenaries. He always thought they were expensive. Could someone else figure out he used to be Chat Noir?

“Hm…” Lawton focused for a moment. “And what about The Seamstress? She is a completely new player that came out of nowhere. I suspected she might’ve had a personal connection to you. What about your father? Could someone want to get back at him? Especially someone with that name?”

“You do know what my dad does for the living?” Adrien deadpanned. 

“Yes, but did he anger someone? Enough that they would want to ruin him?” The man pressed. 

“It would be easier to list people he didn’t anger. My father is not… not the easiest to be around.” The light that was in the boy’s eyes just moments ago dimmed slightly. “Why are you asking all this?” He suddenly perked up and met the gaze of the mercenary. 

“Honestly, I really dislike the jobs involving kids. I thought that you were just another bratty teenage star that got his way with the wedding. A kid wanting to be treated like an adult. Now… now I can’t with clear conscience return you or deliver you.”

Adrien held back any witty remarks about hired gun having a conscience. “So… I’m living with you?”

“Sadly, no. I’m not around often enough and there is still a price on your head.” Lawton pulled out his phone and carefully read through something. “The more I think of it, the more it looks like you are not the most important part.”

That got Adrien’s attention. His own brain started to work overtime to get the meaning. “What?”

“The wording of the contract. ‘Grab from the wedding’, ‘possibility of further assignments’, ‘very public’… and the price is unreasonably high for such a simple task. It appears as if whoever The Seamstress is wanted a show. Like she wanted to recruit whoever brought you in. It appears as if she was setting up some sort of competition over who brings you to her.”

“But why me?” Adrien ran through ideas, but only him being Chat Noir would make sense in the long run. 

��Publicity. Your old man made sure the wedding was the event of the decade.” The merc simply shrugged. “If they wanted to announce their entrance to the big league, they would pick the biggest, most prominent target.” 

“Figured father is to blame…” Adrien grumbled before reaching into his pocket. “I… would like to call a friend of mine. To reassure her I’m safe.”

“She won’t run to the police?” Lawton was hesitant to allow it but also didn’t have the heart to tell him no. The kid was emotional wreck. And if his appetite was anything to go by, it was possible physical abuse was also there.

“Marinette wouldn’t do anything dangerous. She… I think she was trying to stop the wedding. Or delay it.”

“The girl that stood up shortly before the panic?”

“Yeah… She used… She’s a friend of mine. Probably the last true friend I have left.” 

“I see… Okay, call her. But make sure not to mention anything about me. Just in case.”

There was a moment of tense silence while Adrien waited for his friend to pick up. Finally, after the fifth signal, there was a rustle on the other side.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng speaking. Who do I have the pleasure with?” She spoke almost mechanically. To someone who never met her before, it might’ve sounded sincere. To Adrien, it sounded like she was exhausted both physically and emotionally. He almost blamed himself, but at the last second shifted it all onto Lila and his Father. 

“Marinette!? Are you okay?” He asked, wanting to make sure there was nothing truly wrong.

“Adrien!? Adrien!” She immediately seemed to cheer up. “Where are you!? Are you okay? What happened? Did they hurt you? Are you safe?” She finally paused to take a breath. 

“I’m okay, Marinette. I might’ve sorta gotten myself kidnapped,” he realized how bad that sounded as the words left his mouth, “but it’s all okay! It’s better than it was!” He rushed to reassure her, albeit his method was not a hundred percent successful. 

“Are you safe?” Was the question she repeated. It sounded almost… guilty. To Adrien’s tired brain though, such subtle details were second to the question. 

“I’m probably good. Someone put a bounty on me, but it’s all about me being alive. It’s like whoever did it accidentally saved me from the wedding.” He chuckled a bit darkly, thinking about how much of a temper tantrum Lila must’ve been throwing since his disappearance.

“Call me back later, okay?” There was a sudden urgency that Adrien did pick on. “I have something that needs to be sorted out.”

“What’s happening?”

“Just my Maman is coming. She is knocking right now.” With that, she hanged up. Adrien relaxed. There was no danger. And even if there was, it probably just ran away to hide as Sabine Cheng came to town.

“Kid, you done?” Deadshot walked back into the room with another hamburger.

“Yeah. I feel much better now. Thanks for the opportunity.”

“Don’t sweat it. Listen… I can’t just keep you, but I called some friends of mine. They’re willing to help you. Well, she is. Her girlfriend is just going with it for her sake.”

Lawton carefully studied Adrien to see his reaction to mentioning the couple, but there was no visible reaction. He just watched the hamburger with a hungry gaze. 

-------

Elsewhere, an exhausted kwami flew out of the jewel. Hawkmoth was one step from tossing the jewel at the wall. 

“I don’t understand! He should be terrified by now! He was kidnapped! They wouldn’t kill him after going so long to kidnap him!”

“Maybe your powers aren’t as good as you’ve thought?” another voice spoke from the shadows. Lex Luthor walked into the center to join Gabriel Agreste.

“They didn’t have time to move him out of the city before I started the search. Not without magic and he said there was no magical travel to or from Gotham so far.” Gabriel paced around the room. 

“While you were playing with your precious jewels, I actually used some of my contacts. It appears that someone ordered a hit on your son. They wanted him kidnapped from the wedding.”

“What?!” Gabriel paused and glared at the other man.

“While I can’t stop it or even try to outbid them, I do know of one person I can convince to take this task. And she just happened to be coming to Gotham this very moment.”

“Fine. I want my son back, or our deal is off, Luthor.” 

“Don’t worry. He will see the Light soon.”

[rikumorimachisgirl]

So, I started writing this Mystic Messenger fic last year but lost the inspiration to continue. I finally finished it today, so I hope you like it.

Oh, and I commissioned this lovely artwork from @hydeine last year, too. I said I'd tag her when I finally post the fic. I suppose today's the day. Here we go...

Title: Strawberry Pancakes

Pairing: Jumin Han x OC (Iris)

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,665

Author's notes: Some of the scenes were faithful to the game.

Disclaimer: I do not own Mystic Messenger, but I own the idea of this fanfic.

It started with pancakes. Those thick, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth fluffy stove-top cakes that both of them - apparently - were both fond of. 

The first time they talked about it got him into a spot of trouble. Over an utterly dull lunch date with his father and his latest conquest, amidst the rich ambiance of the Michelin star restaurant where only the who's who in society were spotted, Jumin Han chose to indulge in a little tête-à-tête of his own at the RFA chat room with her. 

Her. Iris  - RFA's accidental member, unofficial party organizer, everyone’s cheerleader, and about the only other person who resonates with him. Jumin quietly as he waited for her to respond to his last message. Over the last twenty minutes, they have gone from talking about Elizabeth the 3rd’s grooming habits to his favorite breakfast food.  

| ‘I like chocolate chip pancakes.’  He felt his lips stretch sideways as he read her message. It was strange, he thought, how he's been joining the chat room more often since she joined. In the two weeks that they've been chatting, he felt closer to her than he's ever been with anyone in his life. 

| ‘I figured you would.’ He typed and sent.

|’Huh?’

|’You seem like the type who'd indulge in something with high sugar content early in the morning.’

|’That was a lucky guess, Jumin.’

|’But I don't believe in luck.’

|’Oh, and I suppose you think you've got me all figured out already? If you're so smart, tell me what I’m thinking at the moment.’ He smirked at her cheeky response. 

| ‘Iris, I'd like to remind you that I’m a businessman, not a fortune teller. If you’d like me to infer based on our conversation though, I'd say you're thinking that I like buttermilk pancakes, to which the answer is no. I prefer strawberry pancakes.’

Silence. 

| ‘Am I really that predictable?’ Her message finally came in two minutes later. He chuckled. In his mind, he imagined she probably would’ve pouted as she replied. 

“You seem rather amused, son. Did something happen?”

The sound of his father's voice snapped him out of his daydream. The young executive silently cursed himself for carelessly dropping his guard. Clearing his throat, Jumin straightened up and ran a hand through his dark locks. 

“My apologies, father. I had urgent business to take care of.” He tucked his phone in his pocket while wishing that Iris would understand why he hadn't gotten back to her. 

“Judging by your smile, I take it that business is going well?”

It took all of his willpower not to roll his eyes at his father's new girlfriend. Glam Choi was it? And what was it that she did? Judging by how she managed to turn heads, he deduced she must be some kind of celebrity. Nothing special, he thought; after all, his father, the Chairman of the Board of C & R International, seemed to have dated them all - socialites, celebrities, models, beauty queens - some of whom were even a year or two his junior. 

“Jumin? Are you all right, son?”

He silently cursed himself once more. While he was silently judging his father’s new girlfriend, he had once again dropped his guard and gave the older man the opportunity to call him out. 

“My apologies.”

“That's twice you've apologized. My, what an interesting day it is indeed, ” the stately older man said curtly. “Is our company not to your liking, son? Please just bear with us for a few minutes more. After all, your assistant told me that you won't have an appointment in the next hour or so.”

Jumin took a deep breath and sighed. If he had only known his old man’s agenda was to introduce his new girlfriend, he would’ve begged off right away. God knows he’d much rather be eating pancakes with her now than having a full-course meal in this place. He shook the thought away for a moment. Now wasn't the time to dream of her. Fixing his grey eyes at his father and the young celebrity he decided to date, he feigned a smile. “Very well, father, you have my full attention until then.” 

OoOoO

The second time they talked about pancakes was more of an afterthought. It happened right after their first kiss. 

Their first kiss. The very thought of it still made his heart race. He remembered every little detail as if it were yesterday. He had Assistant Kang to thank for arranging everything for him. Thanks to his efficient employee’s quick thinking, he was able to meet Iris a week earlier than the rest of the RFA members, although if he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn't be as flustered as he was when he first laid eyes on her the night before.

He watched in awe as she stepped into the foyer. She was everything he’d imagined - slender and graceful, her brown hair cascaded down her back, and her dark brown eyes looked back at him with the same level of wonder. 

“Jumin, i-it's so nice to finally meet you.”

He swore he’d never felt his heart beat faster than it did at that exact moment. ‘Get a grip, ’ he scolded himself, as he schooled his emotions before it got the better of him. He must not lose his footing, after all, he was Jumin Han - businessman, philanthropist, future CEO.

“You’re beautiful.” The words slipped from his mouth quite naturally, and he immediately regretted it when he saw her cheeks turn several shades redder. 

“I’m sorry, ” he cleared his throat. “What I meant to say was that I hope you traveled safely. If I had known Assistant Kang was going to ask you over, I would’ve sent out my driver to pick you up.” 

And then she smiled, and he knew right away that he was going to do whatever it takes to keep her. 

“Who is this woman and what is she doing in your house?”

Jumin gazed at the shameless woman his father had been forcing him to marry and resisted the urge to throw her out of his penthouse himself. 

“Sarah, please don't be like that. I'm Jumin's friend -”

“And what kind of friend comes a man's house alone? By the looks of it, you probably stayed the night, too!”

If Iris was the least bit upset at the insults hurled at her, she did not let it show. Unfortunately, he was far from being gracious. 

“This is dragging on far longer than I expected. I'm actually quite surprised I hadn't thrown you out the door the minute you showed me that fake cat picture. My security will show you out.”

“What? No, you can't do that. I'm your fiancée,” Sarah cried out incredulously. 

“Oh, please,” he said haughtily. “If you think that we'd  gotten engaged just by exchanging a few words, you're clearly delusional.”

“So, you're choosing her over me?”

“I don't know why you're even asking,” the dashing Chief Director of C & R International said, as he turned his attention to the willowy brunette who stood quietly in the corner. Something about the way she looked at him urged him to come closer to her. With each step he took, the answer became clearer. He stopped in front of her and smiled. She was a good head shorter than him, and she looked adorable gazing up at him with those big brown eyes. 

“It wasn't like I had another choice to start with,” Jumin finally said, his eyes never leaving hers. “Iris,” he whispered, as he lifted her chin and closed the gap between them. He could've sworn he felt a shock wave run through his body the minute his lips touched hers. Suddenly, the sound of Sarah's protests faded, and all he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat - or was it hers? He really couldn't tell - but every single one of his senses zeroed-in on the beautiful woman in his arms.

Her lips were the softest he’d ever kissed - not that he’s had lots of experience - as a rule, he only kissed women because he needed to close deals with them and the kisses they shared were always cold. This, however, was different. As his mouth moved over hers, again and again, all he could think about were two things - how her kisses taste like strawberry pancakes, and that he could never get enough of her. 

OoOoO

The third time they talked about pancakes was a memory guaranteed to make her blush almost immediately. He remembered vividly - Provence in July, a month after they'd gotten married. He promised to take her on an unforgettable honeymoon anywhere she wished. He thought she'd choose to go to Paris, Santorini, Milan, or even Ibiza, and he’d be happy to take her there; but instead, she chose to go to his newly-purchased winery so he could still oversee their daily operations while spending time with her and Elizabeth the 3rd. 

That's so like her. 

He woke up alone in bed one Sunday morning. Frustration marred his beautiful face as he ran his hand over her now-empty side of the bed, and found it still warm. She couldn't have been gone for long, he thought. And Elizabeth the 3rd, who usually enjoyed sleeping late, was not in the room as well. Still half-asleep, he forced one eye open to glance at the clock on her nightstand. 

‘Six-thirty, ’ he groaned silently, as he rolled on to his back. What exactly could his wife be up to this early? Sighing, he rolled out of bed and left the room in search of the beautiful woman who disappeared from his side before he even got to kiss her good morning. 

The house was quiet except for some movement coming from the kitchen. Raising an eyebrow, he quietly made his way to the large French country-style kitchen his wife loved so much and found himself entranced at the sight of the lovely brunette he now called wife, stirring something in the mixing bowl while their pet sat on the counter, looking curiously at her. 

"I hope I get this right, Elizabeth the third, " she told the cat softly. "Jumin's pancakes always taste good, so I hope he'll like these."

Her innocent declaration made him gasp. She was making pancakes for him. And that realization made him pick up his feet and head over to where she was at. 

"I see you both are up early."

"Jumin -, " she cried out in surprise, as she felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind. "Good morning, my love. I didn't expect you to be up so early."

"I could say the same about you, especially after we made love several times last night, " he responded, as he planted soft kisses on the side of her neck. Her cheeks turned red at the thought of their passionate night together, and he smiled, knowing how embarrassed she was. "You're blushing."

"I can't help it…, " she murmured. "And I think you've disappointed Elizabeth the third." 

He watched their pristine white cat jump off the counter and saunter out of the kitchen. "I think she's just giving us some privacy. Don't worry, she'll be fine, " the dashing young businessman said as he stopped kissing her, but kept her in an embrace. "So, tell me what you're up to." 

"I was going to make strawberry pancakes for you, " she started, her face still flushed. "But I'm not sure they're as good as the ones you make."

"Is that so?" He unwrapped his arms and moved closer to the counter where the mixing bowl was. "I suppose there's just one way to find out." 

She watched in silence as he dipped his long and slender finger into the bowl and scooped up a tad bit of better. Carefully, he brought his finger near her lips, while watching her gently. "Say ahhh…, " he said and laughed at how dutifully his wife complied. "Well?"

"It's sweet…"

Cocking his head to one side, he smiled at her wryly. "Is that so?"

"Why don't you taste for yourself?" 

His eyes twinkled with excitement, as she failed to realize how enticing her offer was. Cupping her face with his hands, he leaned forward and whispered, "I suppose I will, " before he ravished her mouth - and all of her body - over and over just like the night before. 

The pancake batter was left untouched until later that day. And as she had placed ointment on the scratches she had left on his back, he feasted on the strawberry pancakes she had made just for him. 

OoOoO

The fourth time they talked about pancakes was on Valentine's Day - the first of many they'll be spending together. He thought of many ways they could be celebrating this together and spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking of the perfect present for her. Never once did he think they'd be spending the day spooning her in bed, with one hand caressing her swollen belly. 

Thirty-eight weeks. She had been carrying their first child for nearly nine months, and despite her growing belly and her slight weight gain, she continued to look even more beautiful. 

"I really want pancakes, Jumin."

His hand stopped moving, and he raised an eyebrow at her upon hearing her request. "Darling, I asked you what you wanted for Valentine's…"

She snuggled closer to him as she felt his low voice vibrating on his chest. The gentle sound of his voice always soothed her and the baby, and she wanted to hear more of it today. "And I told you I want pancakes."

He frowned, feeling a little upset at her answer. In truth, she could have anything she wanted - jewelry, cars, all the designer items a woman could get her hands on - but all she wanted to for Valentine's was his home-cooked pancakes. "That's all you want?"

"That's all I want, " she hummed. A few seconds later, she felt the baby kick and the sensation made her giggle. "See? Even the baby wants pancakes."

"But the doctor said you should lay off sweets…" He should have known better than to speak those words because no sooner had he said them, she immediately turned to him with sad puppy eyes. He sighed. He knew at this point that he had lost to her once again - after all, he could never resist her - but he wanted to make her victory a little harder. "As I was saying, the doctor said…"

"But Jumin, I haven't had anything sweet since we found out I was pregnant, " she said, pouting. "And I'm really craving the strawberry pancakes you make."

"Will that make you happy?"

"Very much so."

Sighing again, he untangled himself from her and rolled out of bed. "All right. I suppose I can alter the recipe a little bit. You just lay there and rest, okay? I'll be back with your pancakes."

Elizabeth the third jumped from her bed and walked beside Jumin as he stepped out of the room. "How long do you think before she rolls out of bed and follows us?" He asked, glancing sideways at their precious feline as she mewled her response. "Ten minutes? That's too generous. She's been too fussy lately, but something tells me you're spot on, so we need to move fast."

And true to form, a very pregnant Mrs. Han waddled out of their room ten minutes later, enticed by the mouthwatering scent wafting from the kitchen. 

"Those smell heavenly, " she said excitedly, as she made her way beside her husband and stood on tiptoes to give him a kiss. "Thank you, Jumin, " she whispered before she waddled towards the cozy little breakfast nook she had designed for them. 

He smiled, as he watched her walk away from him. She had no idea how happy she's made him, how lucky he was that she came into his life, and how thankful he was for all the many things that brought them closer together. Especially strawberry pancakes.  

The end. 

[tamakiamajikistentacles]

Two Ghosts (part 1) {Dabi}

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! Click to read Part 2 and Part 3

Dabi missed the bar. It wasn’t the best placed he had ever stayed (top five for sure, though), but it was nicer than the shithole they had been forced into using as a hideout since All for One had been imprisoned. At the bar, their rooms were more spread out and the walls were thicker, so he didn’t have to hear Twice alternating between whispered babbling and sudden outbursts in the middle of the night.

His living conditions were never the greatest, but he longed for the day he wouldn’t have to worry about any outsiders underfoot. He wanted his own space desperately, almost to the point where he might say he wanted a home. Which, okay, maybe he did, but not just to satisfy his own selfish desires.

“Are you happy?” he asked into the stillness of the room.

The thin sheets rustled as she turned over, eyes still closed. “No, I’m tired, Dabi.”

He huffed out a laugh as her hand laid on his chest, the pressure comforting against the textures of his skin. Her smart mouth had always been one of her best assets, in more ways than one in his opinion.

“That’s not what I meant, Kazane.”

She sighed as she felt him shift backwards to sit up a bit, her hand dropping from his chest and his head falling back against the cold brick of the wall. Her eyes opened lazily to see him peering into the darkness, a pensive look on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, propping herself up on an elbow to watch his expression.

“Are you happy?” he asked again in a low voice. “Are you happy that we joined this cause? Are you happy that we have this room to ourselves, but we hear everything from outside of it? Are you happy here? Are you happy here with me, Raila?”

Golden eyes widened at the use of her real name. She hadn’t heard it in so long, the syllables sounding foreign when strung together by the lips of the man she’d stood by since he was a boy. He’d said it before many times, but that felt like a lifetime ago.

She sat up higher, pressing a light kiss to the apple of his cheek where the skin was still warm and unblemished.

“I’m happy so long as I’m with you, Touya,” she murmured.

His teeth clenched and he shivered, pinpricks of regret needling his skin at bringing up their true given names because he was not and could never be Touya Todoroki. Few things connected him to that name—that life—anymore. Some he could avoid, like the snowy white roots of his hair that were never visible for very long once caught during his meticulous inspection, and his flames burned such a bright, blinding blue now that he’d strengthened his quirk far beyond the potential predicted in his childhood.

But there were things not so easily hidden, too, such as the distinctive turquoise shade of his eyes that were given to him by the man he had longed to punish for his misdeeds, and matched half of the small boy he had nearly died trying and failing to protect.

The last piece that connected him to that life was ever-present, and the one thing he would never hide away or try to abandon: her.

He felt sick hearing the rush of flames and the constant impact of his youngest brother’s small body against the wooden walls of his father’s training room. No matter how he tried to block the noise of the “training sessions,” he couldn’t ignore them.

Shoto had just turned five not that long ago and he prayed that when his kindergarten class began that the teachers would see the bruises or the burns and file a report. Their father needed punished, and if his own family couldn’t expose him, someone had to. Try as he might, no one had ever believed him when he described the abuse in their… home? Could their living situation really be called a home with? His mother tried to bring love and light into the darkness of the place they all inhabited. How ironic, he mused, that the parent with an ice quirk could bring the warmth of love when their father’s flames burned bright but held a stone-cold distance.

Guilt had consumed him from a young age at the thought of his own shortcomings being the reason three other children had needed to endure Endeavor’s training exercises from the age of four years old until the next sibling came along. Watching a tiny Fuyumi pass out the first time she was forced to push the limit of her ice quirk was heart-wrenching, and four years later when Natsuo had been struck across the face for his own inability to produce flames, Touya had vomited. But maybe the most disturbing moment he had endured was only half a year earlier when Shoto’s quirk had presented itself to be an equal inheritance of both ice and fire.

Endeavor had smiled in wide-eyed excitement when red and orange flames had burned from Shoto’s left hand at his annoyance with an old action figure of Touya’s, the plastic melting into a puddle on their wooden floor. His excitement grew further when not even a full day later, ice shards erupted from the child’s right hand after Natsuo had knocked him over on the way to the dinner table, coating the floor unevenly and causing the older boy to skid into the kitchen counter.

Touya himself was wide-eyed too, though his own surprise was twisted painfully at the realization that though it had taken four tries, Endeavor finally had his perfect child to groom.

“He trains him harder than he ever did me,” he admitted to Raila quietly one evening, booming shouts and impossibly soft cries heard from the hallway leading to the training room. His mother had gone into the room some time ago, and he wasn’t sure if the cries were from her or from Shoto.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, lacing their fingers together on his knee. “None of you deserved his mistreatment, let alone at such a young age like Shoto. I don’t know how to change it, though. His status…”

“I know,” he murmured, raising his free hand to move the orangey-pink hair from in front of her face. “It’s delicate while we’re still young, but once I’m of age… maybe they’ll listen. For now, though, I can only try and protect them however I can.”

She hummed as his hand dropped from her hair, her own rising up to meet his fiery red spikes and shift the strands. “You need to touch-up your hair. The white is peeking through again.”

“Tomorrow work for you?” he asked, leaning into her touch.

“So needy,” she teased, but they both knew it would be a red-stained massacre if he tried to do it on his own again.

The next day, after she had finished helping him make sure the white roots were thoroughly saturated with red dye, was when the course of events that would change both their lives and the lives of those around them were set into motion.

Shoto was sobbing, pleading through broken breaths to not have to train anymore for the day, flecks of vomit clinging to his trembling lips.

His father only stared down at him unimpressed and slowly losing his patience for the spectacle his youngest was making out of himself. His perfect creation was meant for so much more than this.

“Get up, Shoto.”

Another round of hysterics bubbled up from the small boy as he shook his head in the simplest act of defiance his tired body could muster.

“I said get up!”

Choked cries echoing louder still, Endeavor took a step forward only to pause as the door to the training room flew open. Instead of his wife, he saw his eldest charge into the room while the girlfriend he kept stood outside the doorway with a clenched jaw, fists balled tight from where her arms were crossed.

Touya came to kneel next to his brother, a light touch on his back enough to send him into his arms, body still wracked with tremors from the very idea of continuing his training, but now also for what may happen with two more Endeavor-clashing personalities added to the moment.

“S’okay, Sho,” Touya murmured, “you’re alright now.”

“This is no place for you,” Endeavor sneered. His eyes shifted to the doorway and he added, “Either of you.”

Placing a comforting hand on the back of Shoto’s head, Touya glared up at their father. “No, this is exactly where I need to be right now. We need to have a conversation.”

He looked down on his oldest son as he held the youngest, the two bookends for the lineage he had crafted over the span of almost two decades before him as if to show what he thought were the improvements from the first model to the last.

“Shoto, I want you to go with Raila, okay? Her and Fuyumi are going to sit with you for a bit and then it’s a bath and bedtime.”

Soft baby cheeks flushed from tears pulled back from his chest, and Touya’s heart broke at the wide-eyed expression of panic on his brother’s face.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see you at bedtime,” he assured, nudging the boy towards his girlfriend. “Go with Raila.”

Shoto sniffled quietly only once as he moved towards the doorway, afraid that if he looked back his father would be reaching out for him to drag him back to train. He focused on Raila and her pretty golden eyes that reminded him of his mother, warm and inviting and promising safety within her arms.

When he reached her, she smiled softly down at him and carded one hand through his hair, happy when he closed his eyes and sagged in relief. But before she took him to his sister’s room, she glanced up at Touya, hesitant to leave when she could be a witness to something drastic—which of the two that would commit a drastic act, she couldn’t be sure.

“Take him, Peach.”

Raila nodded, bottom lip still between her teeth as she led Shoto down the hallway towards Fuyumi’s room, quiet promises to make the paper cranes they would be creating fly.

Within the training room, Touya stood tall as he rounded on his father. Heat was pooled in his chest and it wasn’t out of fear or from his quirk but out of anger, his veins thrumming with the need for confrontation against the man in front of him.

“He’s five years old and you’re training him as if he’s a second year in a hero course! You never trained me that hard and my flames burned hotter than Shoto’s!”

“I never pushed you because it was obvious that you were a failure, and that even approaching the limits of your quirk would destroy your body,” Endeavor sneered. “You inherited your mother’s weak constitution; you were bred with the hope of regulation for your flames, not to be consumed by them!”

“If I could be given another chance at training, now that I’m older and stronger—”

Endeavor laughed maniacally, silencing his argument. “Another chance? Do you have a death wish? You would burn yourself alive within minutes if you were to try and tame your fire. Your flames may burn hotter, you may have my eyes, and you may try and fool the world with that ridiculous hair dye, but the truth is that you are a failure, the first in a line of three. You were all created in hopes of surpassing me, of surpassing All Might, but only Shoto has the potential under my tutelage to fulfill the life I’ve set forth.”

Touya grit his teeth and raised his chin defiantly. “If I can prove my control over my fire and show you that I’m worth another chance, would you train me again? Train me instead of Shoto?”

“Why should I take a chance on you when you’ve already failed?” his father replied, expression bored. “I have a guaranteed legacy in Shoto with his powers. Working with you would be a waste of time to me and a delay in Shoto’s training.”

“Look at me,” he said, gesturing his arms out from his sides, “I’m every bit your legacy when someone sees me without my quirk; with it, everyone would be able to see me as your successor and the public would just eat it up. Popularity is part of the game, after all. Train me and develop my skills even more to make up for the rest.”

“Your mind was never what made you a failure,” Endeavor conceded after a long silence. “As well-thought as your plan is, it wouldn’t work. Your body cannot handle your quirk, and to push yourself further than what you can handle is foolish. You would burn yourself alive and then what would it have all been for? Would you really want to leave behind everyone just to try and prove a point to me because you were passed over? That girlfriend of yours means less to you than rebelling against me?”

“Don’t you even mention her!” he spat, his fists clenched as he took a step forward. “I’m doing this to protect the people I love, the people you’re supposed to love! I can tame my fire whether you believe it or not, and once I do, I expect your toughest training regimen.”

“You ridiculous child! Where is your sense of self-preservation? You would truly rather die for someone who doesn’t need to be protected than live your life?”

“Do you accept my proposition or not?” Touya ground out from clenched teeth.

Endeavor crossed his arms and regarded him. “You have one week to prepare yourself to impress me. I will make my decision then.”

He supposed that of all the responses he expected that one was certainly one of the better ones. He had his chance and he wouldn’t waste it.

How he would impress his father he wasn’t quite sure, but he had one week to figure it out and a girlfriend who would support him. Even if she would worry.

Later that night after making sure Shoto was taken care of, her exact words were, in fact, “Touya, I’m just worried that you’re going to hurt yourself to try and gain his favor only for him to reject you on principle alone.”

“If I impress him, he’ll have no choice but to accept me for training again. Whether in addition to Shoto or to replace him he’s not going to be worked as hard, I’m hoping.”

She knew her reservations were valid but she couldn’t deny his desire to protect his brother even more than he already did. It was the unsure nature of his quirk that gave her pause, but his determination to work through it was enough to have her faith staying course.

“Do you know what you want to do for this assessment or whatever?”

Touya ran a hand through his hair. Having had time to think it over he had one idea that he was fairly certain would gain him favor. “I figure since he knows my main problem is control and that my body doesn’t exactly work well with my quirk, I want to try mimicking the way he has his fire on his hero suit and how he keeps his facial flames lit. Imitation to flatter him a little since he was screaming about his legacy and I played into it.”

“When do you plan to practice?”

“I can skip tomorrow and once Shoto’s at school and mom’s in the other wing I can work on it. The housekeeper isn’t in so no one has a reason to come to my room.”

“His class starts at eight, right?” she asked, continuing once he gave a confused nod, “Great, then I’ll be here by quarter ‘til.”

He squeezed her hand with their intertwined fingers. “You don’t need to come if it’s going to worry you, Peach. And I know you don’t like skipping.”

“I’ll worry less seeing what happens with my own two eyes. The anxiety comes from the unknown because my mind makes up every awful scenario imaginable. You’re more important to me than anything, and I’ll make up whatever work I need to if it means being here with you.”

How could he possibly argue?

He was just as weak to her hopeful gaze the next morning when she stepped across the threshold, the compound empty save for the two of them until his mother returned from Shoto’s school.

Raila chewed her bottom lip nervously as they walked the familiar halls to Touya’s room. She was cautiously optimistic about the beginning of his self-imposed training regimen. Confidence in his abilities wasn’t lacking but she worried that he would push himself too far too fast.

He could see the hesitance in the furrow of her brows and any apprehension he had for this training attempt was replaced with the desire to calm her.

His hands on her hips were gentle and it made her think of how different he was from his father—loving touches and genuinely sweet words such a far cry from the example set for him. It was a partial reason she was worried, afraid that Endeavor would push him to be something he wasn’t, someone he wasn’t. But she knew him better, knew his heart was much too loving to be lost to the soldier-like mentality his father sought out.

“I can do this,” he murmured into her neck, a soft kiss following his words. “You’ll be the first one to see it; you’re the only one who believes I can do it so it’s only fair you see it first.”

She smiled weakly as her hand combed through his hair. “Just go slow, yeah? Work up to it and break when you need to. You can do this if you’re smart about it.”

Touya grinned, raising his head to kiss her. Holding her close to him and feeling her lips against his made him feel like he could do anything as long as she stood by him.

Breaking the kiss, he moved one hand to the back of her neck, pecking her lips three times in rapid succession. “Gonna make you proud.”

Raila then watched nervously as he backed away from her to stand in the center of his bedroom, his chest rising and falling from deep, focused breaths.

“Okay,” he whispered, and the first flames began to appear on the backs of his wrists. They were tiny and red, flickering like birthday candles as he held them steadily in place atop his skin. Slowly, when he didn’t feel the sting of a burn, he coaxed the flames to spread up his arms.

He could feel the heat, but it wasn’t painful. He could almost call it pleasant; it was one of his only experiences with heat that hadn’t resulted in disaster. There was never a time that he had started slow and worked up to more intense usage of his quirk.

As the trail of fire crested at his shoulders it began to cross down his chest in an X shape, curving around his slim hips to complete the pattern across his back. Once he was satisfied with his torso, he allowed flames to ignite from his ankles and cover the tops of his bare feet, careful not to stretch the fire so low as to catch on the wooden floor.

Watching intently from her seat on the edge of his bed, Raila held her breath when she realized that the third and final piece of the pseudo-costume was next: the facial flames. She knew he didn’t worry with his arms or chest or even his feet, but his face was a different story. Not vain by any means, he couldn’t bear to be confronted with constantly visible burns on his face as signs of failure to his father.

“It’s okay, Peach,” he murmured, turquoise eyes set with determination. She nodded encouragingly, not trusting her voice to stay steady.

A spark of red appeared on his chin, the tiny point spreading up his jaw and covering a large portion of his cheeks as it neared his ears. Two more flickered to life on his upper lip and curled out slightly. Finally, beginning just below his lower lash line, flames ignited and moved to shield the skin around his eyes as if they were a mask.

The fire danced across his skin and fireproof training clothes merrily, holding its shape as the moments ticked by.

Touya stared down at his body in awe, fascinated by his quirk’s ability. This wasn’t how he had expected training to go but it was a welcome surprise to be able to control the fire he had feared and suffered at the hands of for so long.

Spinning this way and that, he marveled at the sway of the flames and their endurance as he moved.

“Raila!” he exclaimed in excitement, looking up to see her eyes shining. “Look! Look, I’m—I’ve done it!”

She felt her chest constrict with equal parts pride and worry. “And you’re not feeling any sort of burn? You’re… you’re really… you’re doing it!”

His childlike laugh bounced off the walls as he posed in every heroic way he could think of, from the signature poses struck by All Might to those of Best Jeanist, and even the simple ones of Endeavor. In Raila’s eyes, he looked every bit the hero he was striving to prove himself worthy of becoming.

He wasn’t as tall and certainly much smaller in build than his father, but Touya hadn’t been lying when he told Endeavor that he could be his legacy. His dyed red hair and striking eye color accented by the flames on his face made for a stunning resemblance; the only noticeable difference was the fire’s color.

“I can go hotter,” he said as if hearing her thoughts.

“Maybe let it go for a minute first,” she suggested.

He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I feel fine. If it gets to be too much I’ll stop.”

“Touya, don’t push yourself too quickly,” she said, eyes narrowed. “Learn your limits and test them properly. You can work up to the hotter temperature.”

Without a word the flames at his wrists sparked orange and spread up his arms, taking the same path as when he began only faster. The warmth of the fire could be felt from across the room, and she pursed her lips at the increased heat.

A cocky smirk formed beneath the now orange facial flames. “I told you, Peach, I’m good.”

She fixed him with a hard stare and he stood strong for a solid minute before withering under her gaze, his quirk retreating back until the last licks of fire disappeared from the backs of his wrists with only a wisp of smoke ever indicating they were there.

He took a deep breath. “I said I was fine.”

“I never said you weren’t,” she retorted. “I just want you to stop and take a second before you’re not fine.”

Touya smiled. “Always worryin’ about me.”

“Someone has to,” she said with a playful roll of her eyes.

He shook his head with a chuckle, rubbing his wrists and inspecting the skin of his forearms. From where she sat she couldn’t see any damage which eased some of the tension she was carrying.

“I’m going hotter this time,” he said, looking up. “Then I’ll be right at his level.”

“Just… work up to it and be careful.”

When he stepped back into the center of the room he immediately ignited his wrists and the flames began trailing up his arms. Not even a moment later the brilliant red of the fire was blazing and he looked satisfied at the progress with how easily he could control his fire with such little practice.

She felt dizzy seeing the flames turn to a warm yellow, worried when he put out a burst of heat to burn the flames even hotter all at once. His brows furrowed almost immediately and thin lines of heat began to dance in front of both of them and she suddenly wondered if he had meant to do it. She started to stand, to go to him, when his hand shot out towards her.

“Don’t,” he panted. “Stay there while I get this under control.”

Raila stood up fully but stayed next to his bed. Panic was bubbling in her chest as beads of sweat trailed down each of their faces and off-white smoke began to pour off of his body, the flames growing larger.

“Touya,” she said, mouth dry. Her legs felt like lead as she took a step toward him, knees shaking. She was scared, her breath coming more ragged as she watched the flames burn brighter, a sickly yellow-green hue coloring her boyfriend’s already pale face.

“You have to stay back!” he said in a near-shout, his own panic starting to show in his eyes as he tried desperately to pull back the flames, to tame his fire and keep her safe.

Her knees buckled and she stumbled, her thoughts and vision swimming. As her eyelids fluttered, she could make out the brightness of flames in all directions and the heat on her face was almost unbearable.

Smoke stung at her eyes in the milliseconds they were open and the blood rushed in her ears. Touya shouted her name as she tried to take another shaky step forward. Finally, her legs gave out and her vision went black, the last thing she remembered being a searing pain in her shoulder.

She woke up in an ambulance with an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth, the subtle rocking agitating the pounding in her skull and making her keep her eyes closed tightly. Her left shoulder felt wet, her shirt sticking to skin and the fabric underneath her. All around she could hear muddled voices.

“Touya,” she whispered hoarsely, sure that those around her could tell her something, anything about him.

“Don’t try and talk, we don’t know the full extent of damage from the smoke inhalation,” a female voice said from her right. “We’re taking you to the hospital.”

His name was on the tip of her tongue as she lost consciousness once again.

It wasn’t until she was lying in a hospital bed, a steadily beeping heart monitor in her ear, that she opened her eyes. In stark contrast to the chaos of the compound, the room was calm.

“Raila?”

Mindful of the oxygen in her nose, she turned to her mother who sat at her bedside. She looked exhausted though that could be expected. Surely half a day’s work and a call that her daughter was hospitalized was more than enough to burn her energy.

“Raila, honey,” she whispered, leaning forward in her chair to clasp their hands. “You had me so worried. Your father isn’t much better. I had to send him home.”

She parted her dry lips to reply but was immediately shushed.

“I have to call in a nurse, the doctor needs to take a look at you now that you’re awake. You… they need to check you over again and make sure you’re alright since you fainted from all the smoke. You inhaled so much... Dammit, Raila what were you thinking?”

“Mom,” she croaked, squeezing her hand to make her stop. “Mom... Touya?”

Her mother’s face pinched together as if in pain. “Right now you need to focus on yo—”

“Mom,” she said again despite the ache in her throat, “Touya.”

She sighed, letting go of her hand to press her face into her palms. A light shake of her head made her think she was crying at first, but when she looked up her eyes only held contempt.

“I don’t know what we were thinking letting you spend as much time with him as much as we did. Just look at you—in the damn hospital with a shoulder burned to a crisp that’s going to be a scar for the rest of your life and possible long-term damage to your lungs. That boy practically burned his house to the ground, nothing left but the studs of that room.”

Raila furrowed her brows, the pain in her head growing as she tried to process what her mother was saying.

“I know you cared about him, honey, but it sounds to me like what Enji warned was true: he was in possession of a dangerous quirk and unstable emotions. I don’t want to… I can’t say I’m glad but maybe it’s for the best that this happened.”

She fixated on one word: was.

“There won’t be a funeral but I’ll rest easier knowing he can’t hurt you more than he already has.”

Even slightly disoriented Raila understood. She hated the words coming out of her mother’s mouth but she hated the reality of the situation more.

Touya was gone. He was gone and she had nothing left of him but memories, a scarred shoulder, and the scent of his burning flesh clinging to her hair.

It was a concept she couldn’t understand regardless of how many people offered their condolences, the absence of a proper ceremony making it so she heard it at every turn. Family, friends, teachers, anyone who knew of her and Touya’s relationship felt the need to pity her. She couldn’t stand it. Between the pitying looks and rumors that were said in hushed tones in the back of classrooms, school had been hell.

She missed Rei and Fuyumi and Shoto, even the annoying at times Natsuo. His family had to know her pain but they couldn’t share it together; she would’ve been foolish to think Endeavor would allow it. He had accepted her as his oldest son’s partner because of their quirk compatibility and the potential for the beginnings of another powerful generation, but that future was obsolete in his eyes now.

Raila was essentially blacklisted from contacting the Todoroki family after that day, all her attempts to reach out stopped in their tracks.  The most she knew where from the halls of her school where whispers of Rei Todoroki being taken from the compound and put in the psychiatric ward of the same hospital she had been taken to after the fire were abundant. It had been said that she had hurt one of the other children and even before she had overheard her father lowly telling her mother one night, she knew it had been Shoto.

She hoped his burn was doing better than her own. Three weeks on from that day she was still dressing the burn often, the weeping skin and creeping scars along the edges being pulled painfully by gauze bandages. A strange part of her coveted it, having been the last physical contact she had with Touya. Her parents looked at the injury with disgust, forever reminding her that they believed dating him to be a horrible decision and her presence at the Todoroki’s that day even worse.

Late at night is when she chose to treat the wound so she didn’t need to hear their disappointment; she didn’t care to listen any more. So in the darkness is when she would sit cross-legged on her bed, the left strap of her tank top hanging loose below her arm as she dabbed medication on the raw skin.

On one of these nights she sat winding the gauze around her shoulder, wincing absently as her mind wandered. She was so devoid of focus that she didn’t hear the hesitant taps against the window that grew more insistent as the minutes dragged on. Finally, a loud slap against the glass startled her out of her thoughts as she finished the bandages. She stood cautiously and approached the drawn curtains of her window.

Pulling the fabric slightly to the side, golden eyes met turquoise, and her jaw dropped. Flinging the curtain open and raising the window she reached out to touch the unblemished skin of his cheek, unwilling to entertain the idea of him being real and alive and breathing until she could feel it for herself.

“Hi, Peach.”

“Touya,” she whispered, wide-eyed and desperate. “Come in here, c’mon.”

He lifted himself up and slipped through the window, coming to stand at his full height in the middle of her bedroom in a baggy shirt and pants. Purpled burns trailed down his arms to his wrists and across what she could see of his chest; up his neck and the lower half of his face were the same, his bottom lip barely distinguishable from the rest of his face. The skin beneath his eyes was the same healed over purple as well as his ears, but Raila would be damned if there ever came a day when she wouldn’t recognize Touya.

“You’re alive,” she said, voice wavering as she gently cupped his marred jaw, tears threatening to spill over. “They told me you were gone… Please, just—just tell me this isn’t a dream.”

One hand came to circle her wrist lightly, moving it to his chest where she could feel the steady beat. “You look too pretty for this to be a dream.”

She let out a watery scoff. “Where the hell have you been?”

His smirk fell. “Peach…”

“No, don’t ‘Peach’ me, Touya. I deserve to know where you’ve been for the better part of a month after being told you were fucking dead!” she snapped, hands leaving him to cross over her chest.

“When… after I tried to catch you,”—he paused, his eyes transfixed on her freshly wrapped shoulder—"the whole room was engulfed but you were far enough away from the flames. Every time they started to spread near you I tried to manipulate it away but I knew we had to get out. I was numb by then and the flames on me were basically put out, but I couldn’t touch you without hurting you more. I heard the first responders coming and… and I made the decision to let Touya die.”

“You were… just going to leave me?” she asked in a trembling voice.

“I thought if I wasn’t around as a constant reminder as a failure, Endeavor wouldn’t push Shoto as hard,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Then you make it up to me,” she said. “You take me with you to wherever you’ve been staying and to see whoever helped you heal your burns so quickly.”

“Raila, I’m supposed to be dead and gone.”

She turned to her closet and pulled out a large duffle bag and a smaller knapsack. “Then I’ll be gone too.”

He watched her begin to throw clothes into the duffle bag and a few select items into the knapsack. A few other tiny essentials were thrown into the duffle and it was only when she pulled out a jacket and her wallet that he snapped out of his silence.

“It’s not fair to you to live the rest of your life on the run,” he argued. “I came to… just to see you one last time before I left the city, but you looked so upset, I couldn’t—"

She waved a hand dismissively as she slipped on her shoes and began looking over what she’d packed to ensure nothing was forgotten. “Touya it’s fine, honestly, these past few weeks have been awful but now that I know you’re alive I’m good! Everything is fine because you’re alive and—"

“Think this through!” he snapped lowly, fists balled at his sides. “Think about what this means, Raila!”

She stopped her packing of the duffle bag, struck by the desperate and pained tone of his voice. He had never scolded her like that before and while she wasn’t afraid of him, she was hesitant as she turned to face him.

“If… if we go away together, there’s no going back,” he breathed out. “Touya Todoroki and Raila Yamazaki both have to die. We can’t ever go back.”

She shakily took his hands. “Being without you feels like dying as it is, so Raila can be dead and gone if it means I stay with you. Whatever name you go by, I’ll stay by your side.”

“You understand what you’re giving up, right?” he asked desperately, hands squeezing hers weakly. “Your parents, our friends, school… and-and we won’t be able to live the life we dreamed of. There’s no way we can be married and—dammit!”

He dropped her hands, raising his own to cup her jaw and run his thumbs along the apples of her cheeks, his head tipping forward to rest his forehead gently against hers. Both of their eyes fell closed as they shared shuddering breaths between them.

“Even when we were younger you always wanted kids, and if we go, we can’t… we can’t raise a kid on the run. If you come with me then you have to give up that dream. I wouldn’t… I won’t hold it against you if you want to stay.”

“Raila wanted kids and Raila wanted to get married,” she murmured, “but she’s dead. I only want you.”

A sad smile overtook his features. “Touya really cared about Raila, you know. He wanted to marry her and raise a family with her properly, not like the way he grew up. But he’s dead too, just like her.”

“I love you. Whatever name you choose, whatever life you live, I love you,” she whispered.

“And I love you,” he returned. “No matter what happens, I love you too.”

Dabi felt her hand trace along his jaw, forever in wonder at how she never avoided the dark burns when she touched him, how she never once ignored the damaged skin when her loving touches made contact. Despite the dead nerves, he always felt her sincerity. He hoped that his own emotion could be felt when his own fingertips would brush her burn.

“Shouldn’t be bringing up ghosts of the past, love,” she murmured. “They belong in the past for a reason; they had to die so we could live.”

“But are we really living?”

“We are,” she said firmly. “We’re living free from Endeavor’s influence and living for the day we expose him for the false God that he is. Number one hero—it makes me fucking sick every time someone says it.”

He threaded a hand through the dark purple hair that framed her face, pulling her into a hard kiss. She responded immediately, her arms looping around his neck as his free hand found her waist, holding her body closer to his as they sank back down into the sheets. Pressed against one another in the dark, not a single chilled thought of the past was able to haunt them.

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! Click to read Part 2 and Part 3

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

The Calloways: Back stories, information & more ❥ Part One: Family. 

Obviously, Synn, Katie and Fae have all taken a sister each and will grow them in ways that they see best but these are my original headcanons and ideas of what the family are like & what their lives are like.

The Family (by age)

Gerald Calloway (46)  Anthea Calloway (45)  Eloise Calloway  Amber Calloway  Felicity Calloway  Piper Calloway - ‘Deceased’ Zara Calloway  Darla Sutherland - Mother of Eloise

Gerald Calloway

Gerald inherited The Calloway from his father and the hotel has been in the family since before the First World War. He’s a traditionalist and definitely takes pride in being “the man of the house.”  With Eloise - Eloise and Gerald have a special bond. Despite what Eloise may think, he’s never wanted his oldest daughter to feel pushed out or not a part of the family. He definitely has a soft spot for her and believes the two of them are bonded in a way he’ll have be able to achieve with the other girls.  With Amber - Amber is his first child with his current wife and he definitely sees her as a ‘Mummy’s Girl’. He loves her just as much as he loves the others, but with her being Anthea’s favourite, Gerald rarely had much to do with her as she got older.  With Felicity - Gerald would’ve seen Felicity as a relief. Before she came, it was very much Eloise vs. Amber and him trying to find a way to balance them both when their mothers wanted one to be better than the other. I feel like Gerald would’ve used Felicity to bring some sort of unity between the sisters because she gave them a common ground; because of this, Felicity is probably the reason he’s a lot closer to his family in general which gives them a great bond.  With Piper - Piper was always the ‘difficult twin’ out of her and Zara. Piper and Zara were Gerald’s first taste at having famous children; think Mary-Kate and Ashley; and he loved the bragging rights he gave him. However, rather than being the half-child-half-doll that Zara was, Piper would lash out more. All of the sisters knew that Piper and Gerald didn’t get along, Piper included.  With Zara - Being the youngest, Zara spent most of her childhood doing as she was told and going where she was taken. Seeing as she was a child star with Piper, Gerald loved this. When Piper would lash out, Zara would stand in and charm everybody again. She was the perfect addition his father needed; big blue eyes, a head of blonde hair and an angelic presence. After Zara had difficult teenage years, I think Gerald does the most to get back a daughter that doesn’t exist anymore. 

Anthea Calloway

Anthea had been a young model and socialite when she met Gerald back in the nineties; think Serena Van Der Woodsen. Her family were famous for owning land more than anything else but being the older sister of two, she was determined to make more of a name for herself beyond that, hence the modelling. She later went on to launch her own fashion brand and magazine known as Enchanté.  With Eloise - Anthea and Eloise’s relationship is almost non-existent and it’s Anthea’s fault. Even though she got Gerald and she was the reason he broke up with Darla, it wasn’t good enough. She spent a lot of years being jealous of the fact that Gerald had a child with Darla and she’d never measure up. When her own daughters eventually did come along, she did and still does everything in her power to keep a divide between her own girls and Eloise. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  With Amber - The moment Amber came along, Anthea suddenly felt secure in her relationship with Gerald. Darla couldn’t be smug that she had a daughter with Gerald and Anthea didn’t, because she now did. Amber was and still is her pride and joy, and Anthea will go out of her way to make sure Amber is better than Eloise in everything. It doesn’t help that the two girls are so close in age, because they grew up feeling the rivalry too. However, with Darla out of the picture for the most part, it was clear that Amber would usually win any competition Anthea set up.  With Felicity - Anthea, of course, loves Felicity and as with everything else, she’d often push Amber and Felicity to do things together which is why the girls were so close. Anthea noticed that Felicity was feistier than Amber from a younger age, and would often use this to her own benefit when it came to indirectly upsetting Eloise. She’d often plant ideas and misconceptions in her daughters head to pull the girls apart. However - and it’s a big however, while Anthea is proud of Felicity for breaking into fashion just like she did as well as Amber, she’ll always do what she can to make sure Amber is the better of the two.  With Piper - Piper was always Anthea’s least favourite child and she never really had it a big secret. Yes, Piper was technically the family’s “cash cow” - Zara definitely wouldn’t have made childhood stardom on her own - but, she was a pain. She was reckless and hard to control. When Piper fell pregnant at just fourteen, Anthea found this the perfect excuse to send her away to secretly live with her Great Aunt in Sweden. Anthea still works today to make sure her daughter stays away, as the girls and Gerald believe that she died through a freak accident while out in L.A.  With Zara - Zara was like a doll to Anthea. She was the baby, the one she could dress up and control when the other girls were too old for all of that. She enjoyed the attention Zara got through her fame and often lived vicariously through her. She put a lot of effort on her youngest to do everything her sisters did and more; some would even believe she was attempting to make Amber 2.0 out of her. When Zara went off the rails and moved to L.A., Anthea believed that Zara knew about Piper and does her best to keep her sweet. Zara doesn’t know, but Anthea doesn’t know that and will bend over backwards to keep Zara sweet.

Darla Sutherland 

Darla was the high school sweetheart of Gerald and also the mother of Eloise, his first child and her only child. Darla herself came from money. Her family own a very successful chain of restaurants in the South of England which gave them the money to place her in the school that Gerald also attended. They married as soon as they were legal - sixteen, Gerald was seventeen - and were together until Gerald started to become more in tune with the world of show business. That’s where he met Anthea.  Darla didn’t want to believe it at first, but it was obvious that their relationship was completely falling apart and while Gerald kept his promise of helping to raise Eloise, she was extremely bitter and has nothing but hate towards Anthea and her other girls.  She lives in Cornwall, where her family originally were from. 

Piper Calloway (TW: Grooming/Abortion) 

Piper was the twin of Zara. The second youngest Calloway sister and definitely the one with the biggest presence. Her family believe she ‘passed away’ out in Los Angeles after contracting an illness by chance. The truth of the matter is that she’s currently living out in rural Sweden with her Great Aunt. She fell pregnant at 14 with the baby of one of her show’s producers and was sent away to have her abortion in Sweden; she didn’t know she’d be kept there, but Anthea made sure she was.  With Eloise - Piper was probably the only sister who’d actively understand that Anthea was deliberately trying to turn the other girls against their older sister. Amber was raised against her, Felicity didn’t know any different and Zara was too quiet. Piper wouldn’t have it, though, and would often try to rebuild bridges where Anthea burnt them.  With Amber - Amber was the sister Piper clashed most with, just because she reminded Piper so much of their mother, and Piper hates their mother. She didn’t quite understand the pedestal Amber was on at all times either. As far as the daughters of Anthea go, these two represent the opposite ends of the spectrum; Amber is the golden girl, Piper is...not.  With Felicity - Piper and Felicity probably have the most similarities personality-wise and in a normal family, probably would have been the closest of the sisters. However, knowing how much her parents love Felicity, Piper would go out of her way to be nasty or upset her because she knows in turn, it’d hurt Gerald and Anthea. The bottom line is, Piper loved all of her sisters but didn’t love how they were so linked to her parents; and her hate for them always triumphed.  With Zara - Being the closest in age, they fought and loved harder than any of the other sisters did. They lived in each other’s pockets from the age of five right up until everything changed. Even though Zara was only a few minutes younger than Piper, Piper would go out of her way to shield Zara from things she didn’t want her to be exposed to; creepy men in the industry, drugs, bad people in general. Piper always had better intuition than Zara to the point where it’s no surprise Zara made a whole heap of bad decisions as soon as she was out of the picture. 

[bee-squared-official]

Some Detroit: Become Human Reverse AU Headcanons

Connor and Nathan are twins. Everyone thinks they’re identical, but technically, genetically, they’re fraternal. The only visible differences between them is height difference (Nathan is like a foot taller than Connor) and eye color (Connor’s are brown, Nathan’s are grey).

Connor was born about five minutes earlier than Nathan. Nathan hates this. Nathan loves when people mistake him for the older twin, but also loves correcting mistakes. This creates constant internal conflict for Nathan.

Connor emotes heavily, constantly on the verge of tears (happy tears, sad tears, angry tears, confused tears, etc.) or he runs around like a hyperactive child. Nathan doesn’t emote at all, but is very sensitive, so you get a lot of situations where in person he responds with a snarky comment, and then later he’s sitting staring at a wall for hours reanalyzing everything that was said and hating himself. Only Connor can really snap him out of it when he's in a funk like that.

Connor and Nathan are forced to share an apartment because of budget concerns. There is a tape line down the center, installed less than a day after they moved in. Connor’s side is clean and organized, while Nathan’s is in complete disarray (he claims he knows where everything is, but Connor is a neat freak).

Connor and Nathan both work at the DPD, but Connor started there first and has a higher rank. Connor’s natural talent, intuition, and charm helped him out of police school much faster than Nathan, who always had to work harder to get the same recognition. Nathan is smarter, faster, and stronger than Connor, and can’t understand why Connor is “better” at police work than him. Connor didn’t even want to be a detective when they were little, he wanted to be a veterinarian. And in college, he studied music theory. But he just had to get Nathan’s dream job more than a year before Nathan did...this is still a sore topic with Nathan.

Connor and Nathan cannot be partnered together on cases. Amanda, the police chief, tried this exactly three times, and though Connor handled himself well, the resulting damage Nathan caused to property and various DPD employees is just not worth it.

Connor and Nathan are brought in for almost every interrogation to do their “good cop, bad cop” routine. Because Connor was always so happy and Nathan was always so cold and emotionless, the first time they tried it, Connor was the good cop and Nathan was the bad cop. But Nathan’s unemotional approach just wasn’t intimidating enough, and Connor eventually grew frustrated enough to start screaming and throwing things, to the point that Nathan could barely hold him back. After the confession, Connor and Nathan switched roles. Nathan goes in with a glass of water and his unemotional “you don’t want them to send in my brother” bit, then Connor comes in and just lets out all of his anger and stress. It works upsettingly well, and new recruits are often scared of Connor until they get to know him.

Amanda is kind and caring...to Nathan. For some reason no one can fathom, Amanda can’t stand Connor. She keeps setting higher than normal expectations on him and then yelling at him when he fails. She sends him out on dangerous missions with no guarantee of backup, seemingly unconcerned for his safety. She claims he can handle the responsibility, but everyone can tell that’s not true. Connor idolizes her and is desperate to make her happy, but he never can. She walks the line, never abusing him enough to get fired, but never letting up. For some other reason no one understands, she likes Nathan and wants to groom him for management. Nathan loves praise and attention, but he can tell something is wrong with the way she acts, and keeps his distance from her. Connor walks out of every conversation with her heartbroken and confused, and Nathan can't figure out how to uncouple Connor’s self worth from Amanda’s approval.

Connor loves dogs. Nathan is allergic, and even stray dog hairs on Connor’s jacket can set him off. Unfortunately, Nathan also loves dogs. There are often sad situations in which they hug each other and cry about the dogs that they cannot pet.

Connor is almost always in uniform, and when he isn’t, he wears very neat clothes. He has one messy outfit that he wears as a disguise, only in extreme situations. He likes to be neat. Nathan just wears whatever is around, so long as it’s comfortable and doesn’t interfere with whatever he’s doing.

Connor is very unhealthy. He practically lives on sugary sodas and candy. He barely eats real food, and is constantly chugging energy drinks and pills to stay awake. He occasionally passes out from dehydration, especially if he's working on a particularly difficult case.

Nathan has a sensitivity disorder. He hates tight or sleek clothing, and avoids it as much as he can. Textures of certain foods can upset him to the point of throwing up if he tries to eat them. He can’t swallow pills. Loud noises, chewing noises, and various other sounds bother him. He gets headaches easily. He doesn’t like being touched, and he doesn’t like heavy metal.

Connor loves heavy metal, and he loves being touched. Connor lives for physical affection, and loves to give it to others. He’s always fidgeting or doodling on his arm, and if someone plays with his hair, he absolutely melts. He loves hugs and cuddling so much. 

Cyberlife gifts two androids to the DPD. The HK800 model, called “Hank,” is assigned to work with Connor. The GV900 model, “Gavin,” works with Nathan.

Connor loves androids, and immediately tries to befriend Hank. He really wants to get along, but Hank is indifferent and cold. Hank, Connor realizes, hates most androids because he sees them as potential threats that could go deviant. Connor turns on the charm to get Hank to like him, which usually works on humans given enough time. The only response he ever gets is Hank’s complaints about his detective work, appearance, or voice. And sometimes, Connor thinks that the charm is even driving Hank further away from him. 

Connor secretly starts trying to turn Hank deviant once he realizes the nonviolent nature of the android revolution. Multiple days in a row, he arrives at the DPD with flowers for Hank and a declaration of love. Each day it gets more and more heartfelt and serious, until it becomes obvious to everyone (everyone but Hank) that Connor really does feel this way about Hank. Though they become close friends, Hank never deviates. Nathan reminds Connor that it’s not an emotional “shock”, just emotional, to bring flowers every day, but Connor doesn’t stop.

Nathan and Gavin get along poorly. Nathan has never cared much for androids, and originally saw Gavin as a servant. Gavin never does as he’s told though, refusing to get coffee or fetch papers, claiming that it “distracts from his mission.” Nathan thinks Gavin is just being a jerk.

Gavin deviated the first day he saw Connor bringing Hank flowers. He does his best to keep his new emotions under control, but he can't stop himself from getting more and more snarky with Nathan. Nathan finally snaps, and punches Gavin in the stomach, briefly disengaging Gavin’s thirium pump. Gavin pretends that this is the moment at which he deviated, and now that he no longer has to keep his emotions a secret, starts actively antagonizing Nathan. Nathan secretly loving having a worthy sparring partner, and the two become close friends.

Hank is forced to break into Connor’s apartment when Connor doesn’t show up to work. Passed out again in some sort of sugar coma/dehydration thing, Connor is forced to rely on Hank’s help to get cleaned up and functional again. Hank begins to see Connor as something similar to a child he’s babysitting, and Connor begins to see Hank as a father figure (he and Nathan were abandoned by their father when they were younger, so it’s nice to finally have something like that).

There’s an HK800 model at the Eden club when Connor and Hank go to investigate. Connor is beyond embarrassed and won’t stop coughing awkwardly and blushing, while Hank focuses on the mission. The next day, there are no flowers. Connor takes Hank aside, privately, and apologizes. He says that he’s worried Hank will think he did all that as some kind of joke, or public humiliation show. He doesn’t want Hank to feel like an object, but he’s realized that his actions have been objectifying Hank. He promises to stop his antics and start treating Hank with more respect, as Hank deserves. In tears by this point, Connor apologizes again and flees. He doesn't come back to work that day, and doesn’t find out until later that that conversation is the moment when Hank deviated.

Connor and Hank visit the home of billionaire Chloe, designer of the first android to pass the Turing test (a KM230 model named Kamski) and once the CEO of Cyberlife. Her house is full of half naked androids in loose robes, all with identical man buns and subservient, quiet attitudes. After forcing Hank on a weird journey where she tries to make Hank shoot Kamski, she’s cryptic and weird about the information she shares before sending them away. Connor is fascinated and wants to spend more time at her house. Hank, shaken up, escorts Connor away and nearly warns Chloe not to talk to him or his son ever again.

Deviated and on a mission to free the android warehouse from Cyberlife control, Hank is surprised when another HK800 model shows up with his kidnapped partner. Connor urges Hank to forget about him and focus on waking the androids, but the duplicate Hank’s decision to punch Connor is what sends the real Hank over the edge. Connor breaks away long enough to pull a gun on the Hanks, both of whom try to prove that they are the real one. Connor, overwhelmed by the decision, starts crying. The real Hank steps forward to try to help him, and immediately Connor shoots the fake Hank, who hadn’t moved or reacted at all. Connor tells Hank that he knew it was the real him. They hug, and Hank wakes the androids.

Following the revolution, Hank and Gavin are allowed to continue working at the DPD, but now with full legal status as citizens and paying jobs. Hank acquires a secondary model as a backup, one capable of more in-depth analysis than Hank’s tongue is. The new model has enhanced hearing, taste, and smell, and is supposed to be very useful in tracking. It’s modeled after a large St Bernard dog. It’s named Sumo, and it doesn’t shed real hairs to trigger Nathan’s allergies. The adventures only continue from there.

PLEASE feel free to message me and discuss this, or write a fanfiction or make art. If you do PLEASE SEND IT TO MEeeeeeeeee

[anon-astrology]

you asked for an explanation on the boys’ signs/birth charts so here it is! @la-saffron

OK I’ll be focusing on love/attraction/sex because that’s what I noticed were accurate from your posts.

In astrology, when you want to see what kind of woman a man is attracted to, you look at their venus sign, also their moon. Some astrologers say venus is the type of girls a guy would date, and moon is the type they’d marry, but it’s probably a combination of both. 

Mars is the sign you look at for sex and anger. You can look at the combination of the sun sign (which is your regular zodiac sign) and mars for someone’s sexual preferences. 

For the sake of this post, I’ll only be focusing on Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars. This is a very BASIC astrology post, trying to keep it easy to read.

(If you want to know if you are a member’s “type”, you’d need to know your time of birth, to know your rising sign. For example, if your rising sign was in Leo, you’d be Joel’s “type” because his moon is in Leo, and his venus is in Aries. But other members with fire placements would like you aswell, Chris & Erick also have fire moons.)

CHRISTOPHER

Starting with the easiest, almost all of Christopher’s planets are in Sagittarius. (His Jupiter and Pluto are also in Sagittarius, but I’m not including them in this reading.) It’s funny to me that he’s a walking stereotype for Sagittarius. 

Type of woman he’s attracted to:

(Taken from cafeastrology.com)

An energetic, happy aura in a woman is often most appealing. Generally these men are attracted to a clean, robust, athletic look, generally slim but not necessarily well-groomed. A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with these men. These men are also very attracted to foreign women.

Sexual preference:

Sex is treated rather like a sport. These lovers are direct and forthcoming with their desires and needs. They have an almost innocent frankness about them, and they love to have fun in bed. Laughing and roughhousing are huge turn-ons. They are actually a bit selfish in sex, and their need to “get off” will almost always be expressed. Games are acceptable for Sagittarius lovers, just as long as they are not too time-consuming or intricate. They have little patience with people playing hard to get or beating around the bush. The same goes for too much seriousness or romancing. The best way to approach sex with these people is to just do it, and then talk about it after the fact, if need be.

RICHARD

I was honestly really shocked when I first checked Richard’s chart. I thought there would be a lot of fire, but I think what we think of him and what he is actually like are extremely different

Type of woman he’s attracted to:

Cancer & Capricorn are opposite signs, so either he wants a combination of both, or women with Capricorn traits are who he chooses to date, and Cancer is the type he’d want to marry. [Remember that controversial tweet when he said women should let a man take care of things? I wasn’t even shocked because that is such a stereotypical Cancer thing to say lol.]

He often finds a woman who has an aura of competence about her very appealing. More classic looks, as well as a career-oriented look are most appealing. Sometimes, older women are especially appealing to these men.

He may prefer women who come across as sweet, soft, and warm. He is not as inclined to go for women who are model-thin, tomboy-ish, or for the high-profile career type. He often is attracted to more traditionally feminine looks, simply dressed (not gaudy or flashy). Understated but feminine summer dresses, accentuated breasts (natural, not “enhanced”), an aura of innocence or neediness, and the promise of devotedness are usually turn-ons. These men often go out of their way to avoid feeling rejected, and this is mirrored in their attraction to women who are not too aggressive, loud, or overly confident.

Sexual preference:

Extra care is taken to please the partner. These people can be provocative in a quiet way. Their need for balance and perfection in their relationships may manifest itself at all the wrong moments. In bed, these lovers want things to be balanced. They love working on getting things right, and are especially turned on by role-playing sex games. They have a strong need for change and growth in their sexual expression. They are givers in bed, but they fully expect you to give equally in return. Although they can be pushed around for a time, their lovers must be aware that the best way to keep Libra lovers happy is to keep everything fair. These lovers can be a little picky when it comes to mood and atmosphere while making love. Make them happy, however, and you have a lover who is going to think about you and your needs. These lovers can charm the birds out of the trees when they want to.

ZABDIEL

Type of woman he’s attracted to:

He can be most impressed by women who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. He wants an interesting woman. She can certainly be beautiful, but boring? Hardly.

Intelligence or liveliness are often more important than drop-dead good looks. An athletic or tomboyish look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred.

Sexual preference:

Sex that is straightforward and simple is generally best. The reputation for Capricorn lovers is an attraction to experienced, and sometimes older, partners. They often prefer strong, powerful lovers who display some sort of authority or know-how. These lovers prefer a certain measure of discretion. Capricorn is an earth sign, and this earthiness shows up in love-making style—it’s generally no-frills that is most appealing to these lovers. They can be quite happy with consistency, as variety is less important to them than is security in sexual expression. However, their sexuality is deep and powerful. They are often quite private about what goes on in the bedroom. Although some will want others to know that they are on top of things in their sex life, they generally won’t get into messy details.

JOEL

Type of woman he’s attracted to:

(Joel said Selena Gomez, who is a Leo rising! was his childhood crush, but now his current celebrity crush is Kendall Jenner, who is an Aries rising! Look at his moon and venus sign!)

He is often attracted to a tomboyish woman, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, forthright, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy women are not usually the most attractive women to these men, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types.

He may be attracted to women who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified, confident aura is usually appealing to these men. These men are more inclined to enjoy women who wear a good deal of makeup and jewellery. Flashiness is often appealing, although some will prefer a slightly more understated look. The bottom line, however, is usually a rather bold, confident manner.

Sexual preference: 

The sexual nature can be quite complex. These lovers generally share a common intensity and depth in their sexual desires, but they vary in expression depending on their level of development. Some enjoy power and are attracted to breaking taboos. These lovers are willing to do almost anything, and they enjoy full-body pleasures. Others express their need for control by being unavailable and abstaining for long periods of time, giving in only when they feel their partner is deserving. Whatever their nature, they have a way that promises commitment and intensity in bed. They are provocative but private. Most will never kiss and tell. Sex is intimate and personal for Scorpio, but their fantasies are full-ranging.

ERICK

Type of woman he’s attracted to: 

(same venus sign as Zabdiel, moon sign is the same as Joel’s venus so copying and pasting here)

He can be most impressed by women who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. He wants an interesting woman. She can certainly be beautiful, but boring? Hardly.

He is often attracted to a tomboyish woman, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, forthright, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy women are not usually the most attractive women to these men, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types.

Sexual preference:

(same mars sign as Joel, copying and pasting here)

The sexual nature can be quite complex. These lovers generally share a common intensity and depth in their sexual desires, but they vary in expression depending on their level of development. Some enjoy power and are attracted to breaking taboos. These lovers are willing to do almost anything, and they enjoy full-body pleasures. Others express their need for control by being unavailable and abstaining for long periods of time, giving in only when they feel their partner is deserving. Whatever their nature, they have a way that promises commitment and intensity in bed. They are provocative but private. Most will never kiss and tell. Sex is intimate and personal for Scorpio, but their fantasies are full-ranging.

[ladyoftheloch126]

Taster of my 19days TianShan fanfic Adversity is a Gift - Chapter Thirteen Ready, Fight!

He Tian was currently sitting in the passenger seat of his brother’s BMW, on his way back to the organisation’s office.  The silence in the car was telling, confusion being the biggest contributing factor.

Why had his dickhead Uncle made him go to the prison, when he was going to off those attempted rapists anyway?  What an unbelievable cluster fuck, such an utter waste of time.  Was that his Uncle’s aim, make him work his ass off for nothing?  Aah it wouldn’t surprise him at all, lately his Uncle did everything in his power to make He Tian’s life a living hell.  Tian rested his weary head against the cool window, watching the scenery fly by in a green blur as they made their way through suburban areas into Beijing centre.

He Tian thought about the terrified guard at the detention centre, typical coward didn’t know what to say or where to start.  He stuttered and stammered through their entire conversation.

“What?”  Tian’s furious growl was loud in the waiting room

“I can’t bring them to you because they all committed suicide this morning at 10am,  they hung themselves and left identical notes.”  The guard He Cheng had bribed was shaking in fear, sweat ran down his temple from under his prison uniform cap.

“Fuck!”  He Tian cursed loudly and banged the nearest table with a clenched fist.  “Can my name be connected to those three?  My name was used yesterday to gain access to them?”  Tian got up in the guards face, his words were spat out through gritted teeth.

The guard gulped and nodded.

“Get those records and destroy all trace of me!  I want no fuck ups, make sure you do it or we will come to your house and kill your wife.  I don't have to tell you how serious this is, do you understand?”  He Tian stepped even closer to the guard, so he could whisper his instructions into the man’s ear.

“You ask too much of me!  I will be fired when they find out, what about me?  How can I live if I can’t work?” The man’s eyes grew wide with panic.

“I don’t want to hear you whining like a bitch, I want to hear you say “No problem sir, I will take care of it.”  Do you understand?  Do you love your wife?  Do you love your family?  If you do….then don’t disappoint me.”  He Tian patted them man hard on his cheek, making the other man wince.

“No problem sir, I will take care of it.”  The man nodded, one of his pale sweaty cheeks was now red from abuse.

“Good.  No trace, I want no trails to us, otherwise you’re not gonna like the consequences……”  Tian put a heavy hand on the guard’s shoulder and took a lesson from his Uncle, squeezing hard to get his point across.

“I understand, aah!”  The older man winced in pain, but he merely kept nodding like the neck of a plaster cat which wags its head.

“He Cheng will be in touch, I guess the deal you two brokered has fallen through, no reduction in interest for you!”  He Tian winked sardonically and strode out the door.  Serves that crooked guard right for mortgaging his house out from under his family to gamble.  He Tian had no time for useless assholes like that.  Tian got back to his brother’s car and relayed what had happened, bring on brotherly confusion.  Both of them were at a loss as to why they were even at the detention centre.

Half way through the drive Cheng’s mobile chimed, Cheng glanced at He Tian.

“Can you look at the screen to see who it is?”  Cheng was a diligent driver, no texting and driving for him.

Tian picked up the iPhone, which was incased in a sleek black cover and read the short to the point message out to his brother.

Qiu:  We have a redheaded boyfriend issue.

He Tian froze instantly.

“Does that mean your little boyfriend is with Qiu?”  He Cheng’s voice grew loud with disbelief.

“No, it can’t be, how the hell would he….”  Tian’s sentence trailed to a stop.  Was Shan at Jian Yi’s?  No…it can’t be he was at school, it was still during school hours, everyone should still be at school!  Why would Momo be with Qiu?  He Tian had a bad feeling in his gut.

“Faster Cheng, I feel like this day is going from shit to shitter by the second.”  His brother had been sitting at a steady 70mph, but now he stomped his foot on the accelerator and started speeding them back to the office.

He Tian took out his mobile and tried calling Mo.  It rang and rang but eventually went to voicemail.

“Call me back you fuck.”  He Tian stuffed his phone back in his pocket with a curse.

“Message Qiu for me, tell him what happened at the prison.”  Cheng unlocked his phone, then he handed it to his little brother.

He Tian did as he was told for once and soon had a messages back from Officer Qiu.

“He wants us back at the office now.”  He Tian started to casually scroll backwards through the messages between his brother and brother Qiu.

“What are you doing?  Give me my phone back Tian.”  He Cheng tried snatching it until he realised he was still driving, then held his hand out.

“I’m just googling something, calm down.”  He Tian went back through previous texts and raised his eyebrows at some of the conversations between the two men:

Monday 9.37pm Qiu:  Pick up beer, I’m getting you shit faced drunk and then banging your brains out. Cheng:  You promise?

Tuesday 10.05am Cheng:  Get toilet roll and antiseptic cream on the way back. Qiu:  Antiseptic cream? Cheng:  My asshole resembles the flag of Japan.

Thursday 12.40pm Cheng:  Why today did you have to go to your ‘other’ employment? Qiu:  A good man’s work is never done. Cheng:  Send nudes. *Picture of Qiu’s crotch, semi hard cock, clearly took in a bathroom.* Cheng:  I was fucking joking!! But this will work.

“What is wrong with using your own phone?   Hey what are you looking at?!”  Cheng tried to see, but Tian casually switched to some bullshit horoscope website which was current on his brother’s browser.

“Nothing.”  He Tian waved the phone at him.

Next he went into the pictures and he was wheezing internally because his older brother and Mo Guan Shan had more in common than he thought.  Looks like brother Qiu liked to send Cheng a lot of nudes and like Momo, Cheng had kept EVERY single one.  Swallowing back his amusement, he relocked the phone and gave it back to his sweating brother.  Everyone knows you should never hand your mobile over, unless you were willing for someone to paw through your content.  It was an unspoken law.

“Concentrate on driving brother.”  He Tian nodded at the road and they settled into a  tense silence for the remainder of the journey.

=========================================

Things were hotting up at the office, the beer was flowing, toasts were shouted and Mo was told to wait, whilst six boys not much older than himself were taken into a separate room, and all of the men present piled into the room with them.  Brother Qiu had abandoned him too, but She Li was back glued to his side, even going as far as to fling an arm over his shoulder again.  Urgh.

“We can’t see what happens?”  Mo asked his long lost asshole friend for the night.

“You can’t witness the ceremony it’s steeped in tradition and secrecy, if you want to see inside that room then prove yourself in this fight and work your ass off until they deem you worthy.”  She Li tipped back another beer, he didn’t seem drunk though.  Mo had stopped drinking all together, last thing he needed was to be staggering about shitfaced, swinging and missing.

“How come you’re not inside?”  Mo had a nervous fluttering in his stomach that was part excitement and part apprehension.

“Me?  I’m not a Beijing member so I’m not required to go in there.”  She Li grinned and relaxed back against the wall.

“So when those guys come out, will they still be Blue Lanterns?”  Mo was curious about the hierarchy, it seemed like an army.

“No, they will be official gang members, 49ers.  Like me.”  She Li finished his beer and put the empty bottle onto the table beside them.

Like He Tian.  Mo thought about how old Tian was when he went through all of this, shit poor kid.

“You’re still here?”  A low voice sounded from across the room.

“Head.”  She Li inclined his head respectfully.  “Still, just crashing the initiation.”

Mo couldn’t help but stared as an elegant man approaching them.  He was fucking tall!  As tall as He Tian, he wore a killer suit, one of those ones you only see in magazines, or on models on billboards.  He was handsome, his hair was short and well groomed, face unlined making it hard for Mo to work out how old he was, the man could be 30 or 60.  His aura was overwhelming, intimidating even.  The dude was thin, maybe his suit made up for a weak body?

“Who���s this?”  The man walked over to a sideboard full of crystal decanters, chose a low tumbler and then poured out some amber liquid.  Was it whiskey?

“Old friend from Middle School, he’s here to ask permission to serve you, Boss.”  She Li’s silky voice finally made its way into his thick head and Mo froze as the man approached him.

“Good luck, I might stay to enjoy your performance.”  The man’s grin made all the hairs on the back of Shan’s neck stand up, then the man walked away.

Mo Guan Shan hadn’t uttered a single word.  He stood there like a dumb redheaded statue, but he knew who that man was now, knew his face and voice.  Shan’s heart pounded and his fists clenched as he watched the retreating back of his boyfriend’s abuser.  He Tian’s Boss went into the room where the initiation was taking place and closed the door behind him with a soft click.

“Don’t worry, he has that effect on everyone.”  She Li had obviously took note of his frozen state.

“That was….”  Shan finally found his voice.

“Our Dragon Head.”  She Li stood in front of Mo and took in his current state.  “You can fight in your trousers and shirt.”  She Li spun around as the door opened and Huang Fu came out laughing, jovial men poured out of the room behind him.  The new 49ers were slapped on the back by nearly a hundred hands.

Mo took off his coat and school uniform coat and stuffed them in his bag, along with his rings and the earrings Tian bought him years ago.  He was ready for anything these gangsters threw at him, he didn’t give a fuck now.  He was pumped that he had laid eyes on that molesting fuck.  Shan tensed when the man in question also exited the room and stood chatting with Huang Fu.

“Okay, on to this afternoon’s entertainment!”  When Huang Fu shouted this, the men in the room cheered and clinked glasses.

“We’re gonna see if this new recruit has the balls to stand his ground against two of our new 49ers!”  The room erupted with jeers and chants about Mo’s lacking anatomy.

“Over here boy!”  Huang Fu motioned for Mo Guan Shan to come over, and when Mo got to the centre of the room, he felt like every eye was on him.  

Betting was already taking place, were they for or against him?  Shan stood proudly with his shoulders back, hands in pockets and his A-typical glare in place.

“Haha I think I like him, he looks like he can fight!” “No way, he’s gonna lose, they’re seasoned fighters, idiot!” “I am gonna put 500 yuan on the redhead kid!” Everyone threw insults at each other and Mo Guan Shan in particular, until Huang Fu held up his arms and beckoned for silence.  He approached Mo and nodded to two cocky looking fuckers.  They grinned as they stripped off their suit jackets, rolled up the sleeves of their dress shirts and suddenly before Mo had time to rethink they were ready to go.

“This isn’t about killing, or serious injury.”  When the incense master spoke, Shan thought to himself was this like a pre-fight talk?  A bastard referee? What did they call it, fucking UFC!  “This is all about aggression……”  The man nodded.

Silence hung in the room.

Before Mo could react one of the dudes flew forward and punched him with enough force that his head snapped back, making him curse.  Shan’s attempts to shake off the throbbing ache in his jaw were short lived, the other guy ran in with a leap and brutally kneed him in the stomach.

Mo staggered back, involuntarily dropping to one knee as he proceeded to cough his guts up.

When Mo Guan Shan looked up, it was just in time to see a fist smashing into his face.  He felt the other guy’s fist twisting the neck of shirt until he choked, hauling Mo to his feet by it.  The sound of the thick cotton collar ripping was loud in his ears.

Punches rained his face in a beautiful symphony of violence, until he had blood running hot down his chin.  It was then Mo Guan Shan thought that he might be screwed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14818106/chapters/36045018 

[all-about-wannaone]

Kang Daniel as a Father AU

(He looked the most husband material here aka helping his wife to fold and do the laundry perhaps?)

And I have finally finished a request once again (before the 30th of July omg)!! :) This was a really cute request that I had received from @imagizibe through my ask box and I am so sorry for the fact that you have probably waited close to a month by now. TT.TT The same goes for my other readers/ followers too, especially those who have seen my multiple to-do lists and have probably wondered when I would actually get to do them. D: It has been long, but it’s finally done and I actually do intend to make it for Wanna One’s Hyung Line too! ^^ As for the maknaes, they would be getting a “(Name of member) as an Older Brother”! ^^ 

Thank you once again for being so patient and supportive despite my lack of updates nowadays. TT.TT I shall not hold you guys back any longer and I wish all of you a happy and fun read! ^^ Who knows? I might even write a Part 2! :3 

To @imagizibe : To make up for the fact that you had to wait so long, I included a short part of the wedding ceremony too when Daniel becomes the official husband. Hope you don’t mind! ^^

One thing’s for sure, if you are married to Kang Daniel, you can be sure that you probably married the right man.

Had one of the cutest and smiley proposals, with a sprinkle of awkwardness.

It was simple with him bringing you to the park to stargaze for a while after dinner, pointing out all the stars that you guys knew and bickering cutely about who was more knowledgeable about astronomy. 

You were lying on his chest and he had his arm around you, before he offered to get you a drink and cupcakes from a patisserie nearby. 

Obviously bought your favourite cupcake and drink, passing it to you before getting down on one knee and finally taking out the ring that he had kept in his pocket the entire night. 

Nearly messed up the paragraph that he had prepared for you but it was pretty obvious that you would say yes.

Cue an elegant wedding ceremony by the seaside on a cliff with the breeze caressing your faces and blowing through your hair.

Probably the groom to say “lawfully wedded wife” as “waffle-y wedded wife” because he was that happy (or more like excited)

An elegant wedding ceremony definitely comes with an equally grand after-party.

You and him probably get a little tipsy eventually, but it was a night to remember for the both of you. (not gonna go into the details ahem)

Now to the real part…

You announce that you are pregnant after you realise that you have not been getting your “time of the month” for 3 months (and of course, you had to check it)

He would stare at you in surprise for a moment because he needs time to process what he just heard.

When he finally does, he would take your hands in his and have the widest smile on his face before saying, “Oh my goodness, I’m going to be a father.”

You nod your head with slight tears in your eyes and he gives you a hug before you could see his own tears forming.

He would embrace you in a firm hold with his robust arms and you swear you could feel him smiling against your shirt.

“I have never felt so happy. Ever. Thank you for being such a blessing and look, we have another blessing.” as he points to your stomach.

Definitely expect to see him with the widest grin on his face (even bigger than the one on his wedding day) and he would be so elated that he would call all of his friends, family and colleagues (Wanna One etc.) to announce your pregnancy.

Also expect boisterous shouting like, “DUDE, I AM A FATHER.”

“진짜 완전 대박 리얼 헐… NO WAY.” (jinjja wanjeon daebak real heol)

From the time you announced the news all the way to the day of your expected delivery, he would take extra good care of you.

Daniel will literally be at your beck and call, satisfying all your food cravings, by your side through ALL the mood swings and will literally do anything you ask him to do. 

Even goes out of his way to learn how to clean the house (as we all know, he’s not exactly the cleanest) so that you won’t fall sick and learns how to cook healthy meals for the both of you.

Is occasionally playful and would place his hand on your stomach to see whether the baby would kick; gets uber excited when he feels it and would feel around again.

The child will be a happy foetus because his/her father sings to him/her all the time and gives him/her occasional kisses too (makes you giggle a bit because it’s ticklish)

He would literally take a day off work to stay by your side on the day of the expected delivery because he wants to be prepared to whizz you to the hospital when the time comes.

Bless the fact that it does because he apparently googled the night before on how he should hold onto his wife in labour, things to say and even songs to blast in the car to distract her from the pain.

Takes you to the hospital with ease and even tried his best to carry you bridal style, before realising how dangerous it will be for the baby.

When you are making your way to the labour room (in a lot of pain) and ready to give birth, you can definitely count on him to always be by your side.

Will hold onto your hand through the entire process, even if his hand turns white and feels numb after all the squeezing from you.

Comforts through hand holding but will definitely be encouraging, together with the nurse. They probably laugh a little, seeing how Daniel looks as if he’s watching a sporting match. (the nurses probably wished they had a husband like him actually)

When the baby is finally out, Daniel would be extremely exhausted but he will not show it and would probably give you a kiss on the forehead with a shy smile on his face.

Asked to carry the baby and he freaks out a little, until you remind him that he is the father of the child after all.

Is exceptionally good with children as the baby smiles the moment he/she takes a look at him and he coos, rubbing his forehead together with the happy baby.

“Welcome to the world, little Kang. You are going to grow up to be handsome/ pretty, like your parents. Trust me, I know so.”

Starting off wasn’t an easy task because whenever the baby cried, it was difficult to tell what he/she truly wanted; was it a change in diaper? Was he/she hungry? Was he/she sad and craving for attention? Who knows?

He doesn’t know what to do when the baby starts crying so he tries comforting it first by whispering soft words and when it doesn’t work, he’ll rock the baby gently and sing him/ her lullabies or will try to make the baby laugh through weird antics.

Doesn’t want to stress you out because he knows how difficult it was to carry the baby and promises to take most of the responsibility as the father.

When the baby cries in the night, he will be the first one to wake up to be by his/her side until the baby falls asleep and he is definitely the type to tuck the baby in and look at him/her for a little while from the top of the baby cot, smiling to himself and wondering how he got so lucky.

If the baby cries again, he’ll be up once more, until you were awoken by the constant ruffling of the bedsheets and the slight movement of the bed. You were just way too tired for the past few days.

Saw Daniel trying his best to comfort the baby and you feel bad that he has been doing a lot of work, so you volunteer to take over.

Stubborn initially but after you remind him that he needs to return to the industry in the pink of health, he unwillingly hands you the baby and tries his best to sleep without stressing over the fact that it was dangerous for you too with your state of exhaustion. (It didn’t affect you anymore really but he was just being protective)

Attempts to make food and healthy snacks for the baby through cookbooks and youtube videos, but he’s not so good with the things in the kitchen and panics when he does not understand the instructions given.

“Wait, they told me 3 tablespoons of flour?? But I thought it was supposed to be cups? And oh my goodness, I spilt some on the floor and is it supposed to be levelled or heaped?? It won’t affect the recipe right?”

It’s actually cute watching him cook, until you realise that he could have burned down the entire kitchen.

Attempts to make the baby’s milk too, and you had to teach him step by step because he was worrying way too much once again about the formula to water ratio.

Once he thinks he’s confident, he would volunteer to babysit despite his practices so that you, too, could have a well-deserved break time (since you had to take a leave from work and takes care of your child 24/7)

Would bring his baby to work in a little baby carrier (cutest thing ever omg) with everyone cooing over how cute the baby looked and basically take turns to carry the child at least once.

Very much prefers to stay at home from then on because Jaehwan threw the baby up into the air (which the baby liked VERY much) and Daniel swore he saw his life flashing before his eyes.

Still invites them over anyway since they love the child so much.

Despite the habit, there will be times he forgets almost every single thing about how to take care of a baby and asks the members for help.

His best friend Seongwoo would be even more clueless, while the more motherly members (Sungwoon, Minhyun, Jisung and Daehwi) will just shake their heads and even teach him how to take care of a child.

“Sorry bro, can’t help very much but your baby is adorable!!” - Ong Seongwoo

“NOT HELPING.” - Everyone else

When they are clueless as to why the baby was still crying or seemed unhappy, his fellow Wanna One members would either google through parenting websites and some would even call their mothers and sisters to get help.

Over time, he definitely gets more tired trying to strive for a work-life-parent balance and you genuinely worry for him, but he only smiles and says that he will take care of himself just fine.

In conclusion, he’ll probably be a pretty good father; supportive, a role model, committed, loves his child very very much, encouraging and will always be by the family’s side, no matter how busy he can get.

Clearly loves his little family and will always put them first, no matter what happens.

Oh, and let’s not forget that he’ll be an extremely good husband too. :’)

Check out my other stuff here! 

[blogyoucanendhumantrafficki-blog]

How To Help Victims of Trafficking Get “Out of the Life”

Excerpt from the book “How You Can Fight Human Trafficking, Over 100 Ways to Make a Difference”

This article is based on interviews with former victims of human trafficking as to what worked and did not work when people tried to talk to them about their victimization. Traffickers prey on vulnerabilities and will groom individuals to believe that they (the trafficker) truly loves them and that law enforcement, their parents, or others will do everything they can to prevent them from being together. As a result, most victims do not see them themselves as a victim and do not self-identify as such. “Victims are often reluctant to come forward because they have been taught by their victimizer that if they attempt to seek help, no one will believe them, and they will be treated like a criminal and a prostitute” (Biglesen, 2013). Victims are bonded with the trafficker through trauma thus making it difficult to break that bond. Building rapport is key when working with victims and survivors. When speaking with victims one must be respectful and non-judgmental. Be careful to not criticize their “pimp”, “boyfriend”, “daddy,” whatever term they use to describe their trafficker because it will create a barrier and they will not open up to you. So you will need to ask questions that has them see for themselves that they are being exploited, rather than telling them they are a victim.

When you are working with youth, please be aware that they may also be victims of domestic violence, incest, human trafficking, drug addiction, etc. They may “act out” in similar ways, but once you have identified what type of victim they are, you need to know the appropriate group to refer them to. If they are using drugs, how are they obtaining their drugs? Many victims will receive drugs in exchange for sex. Sometimes their drug addictions are due to the trafficker getting them addicted or they are using drugs as a way to cope with stress. If you encounter a victim/survivor who suffers from substance abuse issues you should consider referring them to a clinic where they can get help for their addiction. If you are working with a minor victim, then you must notify law enforcement and social services. Make sure you take the time to explain to the minor child the processes and the parties with whom you must contact. Do not lie, give false hope, or make promises that you cannot keep. If a victim feels betrayed they will not cooperate and may even runaway. 

If you are working with an adult, it is imperative that you know your community resources. If you are a member of a church/school, find out if your agency has a directory of local resources. If not, then create one. One way to start is to google “human trafficking agencies in (name of city),” “domestic violence agencies in (name of city)”, etc. Find out if non-human trafficking agencies like domestic violence shelters have staff who are trained to work with human trafficking victims. You will most likely need to help the victims you are talking to on how to answer the questions they will be asked by the agency. Victims may think they are just “ho’s” or a girlfriend of a boyfriend who is “pimping them out.” However, the agencies can’t take them unless they claim that they are victims of human trafficking, so you need to explain to them the legal definition and help them recognize that they are in fact victims of human trafficking if that is the case. 

Oftentimes, people who have experienced trauma feel alone, unloved, unworthy and can easily become victims of exploitation. After reading this section, you may feel that “you didn’t sign on for this.” In other words, I hear from teachers, etc. that they became teachers to teach, not become social workers. However, either we will step in or those who exploit vulnerable children will step in and promise to take care of them and solve their problems. More and more churches are recognizing this which is why “trauma informed congregations.” has become a movement in many countries.  Some common signs to be aware of when talking with a victim is that they are often easily triggered. Victims may cry easily or become easily angered. In other words, they over react to situations. They almost always exhibit low self-esteem. 

Signs to look for: Do they have relationships with older men? Do they have tattoos? Where are they located and do they have someone’s name as part of the tattoo? Do they travel often but have no secure job? Are their nails nicely manicured and do they have nice clothes but no job? When you ask them what they do for a job, are they evasive or have late hours at their job or are often out-of-town? Do they have bruises? Are they avoiding their family and are often absent or truant from school? This could be the result of shame because of what they are involved in. Do they have any close friends? 

So how do you draw them out? Start with neutral questions. Create a safe place for them. Be patient, respectful, and non-judgmental. Building rapport takes time as victims have been conditioned not to trust anyone. Take time to get to know them as a person. Don’t address their trauma by asking them how they feel about things like the nightmares they are having, being beaten, raped, etc. Don’t’ go there unless you are a trained professional. Your role should be one that is loving, compassionate, and empathetic. Found out who they are and what are their interests. Talk about their future, their hopes, their dreams. Most victims need several contacts before they will open up to you. Just ask “Are you okay?” “How are you doing?” “Is there anything you want to talk about?” “I am here if you need to talk.” Your job is to be their friend and get them the resources they need. 

Once they do open up, do not act shocked by anything he or she tells you and be aware of your facial expressions and reactions. Some may try to test you or shock you by using what you may consider to be vulgar terminology and language. Remember this is their norm and it is important to refrain from acting shocked or appalled. You don’t want to come across as horrified or thinking they are a terrible person. Model how you would come across if someone just told you they worked in retail. You would most likely ask them about their job in a way that is curious. For instance, you could ask them how they met their boyfriend, how long they have known them, what do they do when they are together. Validate their feelings by saying things like “he sounds like he was concerned about your safety since he always asked where you were and who was with you.” Let them lead the conversation. Try to avoid asking too many questions in a row. The key is to make sure you do not come across as though you are lecturing them. Tried to avoid making statements like: “Are you crazy meeting a man that you do not know? You could have been killed!” These statements will cause the individual to shutdown as they may feel attacked and they know it is dangerous. A better approach may be to say something like “I worry about you being on the street with predatory men.” What is it you need? Maybe I can help you find a job that isn’t so dangerous.

Remember that what you find shocking, many young people do not. They come from a culture where prostitution has been normalized and the Pimp lifestyle glorified. One of the top rated songs that is currently very popular among the youth is called “Rake It up” by Yo Gotti. Teens and young adults are going around singing the lyrics without really understanding the words. The lyrics and the music video are appalling as in the song the artist makes these types of statements: “I tell all my Ho’s, rake it up, break it down, back it up.”

If they refer to themselves as a “ho,” “prostitute,” etc. do not use those words when you address them. It hurts when you say it. Respond in a loving manner. If they refer to themselves as a “ho” your response could be along the lines of “I am sorry you see yourself that way. I see so much more. I see a girl who is beautiful and smart.” Let them know that they are just like you, a child of God. We are not defined by what has happened to us in life. Once you have established rapport, which may take several conversations, you should refer them to a trained advocate or therapist. 

If you are willing to be a mentor to them while they are addressing their trauma by seeing a counselor, you could offer to help them apply for job corps or college if that is what they want. You could offer to drive them to the agency or their first counseling meeting or college class. This is important. Getting started on a new path is very difficult for people, especially if they have been traumatized. However, you need to allow the survivor to lead the way and take control of his/her own life at their own pace. It doesn’t work to push them. That is what their pimp did. In the opinion of advocates who work with this population, only 3 out of 10 enter prostitution for the money. The pimp will often tell them that they are the only one who really cares about them.  To counter that, you can invite them to your church’s singles group, a women’s group, a bible study. Expose them to environments of caring people and who are being there for them. You need to counter the brainwashing the human traffickers have done with these victims.

For professional advocates and therapists, survivors of human trafficking recommend that the way to go deeper and motivate them to want to get out of the life is to ask them how working as a prostitute makes them feel. How do they feel about their boyfriend asking them to do it? When they respond you could say “I would go crazy if I knew my boyfriend was sleeping around. How does your boyfriend feel about what you do? How does it make you feel that he is okay with you sleeping with other men? If their boyfriend doesn’t know they are participating in the commercial sex trade, ask them how he would feel if he found out. Ask them if they get any of the money. If they tell you their boyfriend is saving it (which a pimp will tell them) ask them if they have access to it. 

Both mentors and professionals need to remember that often victims of human trafficking believe that prostitution is the only way they can survive because their traffickers have convinced them of that to discourage them from leaving. If they tell you they are working as prostitutes because it is the only way they can make money, share with them about job corp and the advantages of going to college. If they tell you they could go “renegade” and make all the money and no other job would pay them that kind of money, then go online and google salaries of various jobs. This way they will be safe because human traffickers often punish those who go “renegade.” If they tell you they are not smart enough to go to college or do another job let them know that isn’t true. Ask them if they have ever posted an ad. If they answer is yes, tell them they have computer skills. Let them know that prostitutes have to have good communication and business skills. Most of them have never considered this. 

Last but not least, for both professionals and non-professionals alike, don’t give up. Don’t take it personally if you can’t enroll them in leaving the life or if they give you push back or get angry with you, etc. Don’t work harder than they are. In other words, don’t beat your head against a wall. It will burn you out and you need to protect your emotional energy, so you are available to help those who are ready to receive your help.

[oddieodelia]

Forsaken: UK Shadowhunters Con Recap

Hi all! So I went to Forsaken this weekend, if you don’t know what that is, it was a Shadowhunters con in London with Maxim Roy (Jocelyn), Jon Cor (Hodge), Kaitlyn Leeb (Camille) and Joel Labelle (Alaric).

It was so much fun, and since it was their first con/they’re not the main cast it was so small, nice and chill. They were all so down to earth, humbled and overwhelmed that we came to see/speak to them. They each had two panels (one on each day) and a full guest panel, I’ve managed to write up most of what I can remember below. Obviously there’s a lot I haven’t captured, but highlights/best moments are under the cut!

A lot of things we discussed were personal/non-Shadowhunter related, if you just want to read the bits to do with the show, just read the bits that have been bolded.

Kaitlyn

Camille will not be appearing in 2b

We were meant to get a scene set in the 1800s when we saw the flashback photo of Camille/Magnus/Ragnor. The scene was meant to be at a ball, and Camille tells Magnus about her dalliance with that short lived Russian. However unfortunately due to budget constraints the scene got cut. 

Another scene that got cut: initially at the beginning we were meant to see a scene between Camille/Raphael that was all in French. As she doesn't speak French she spent a while learning the lines and the accent. She nailed it by the time they did the table read, but after that the scene got cut.

When discussing ships that would never work, she said Camille/Alec. We agreed that would only happen if she did an encanto on him. After discussing for a while Kaitlyn said that to get back at/hurt Magnus for sending her to Idris, when Camille breaks free she'll encanto Alec.

If Camille wasn't such a lying cheating bitch she believes Camille and Magnus could've had a future, because deep down they do and will always love eachother.

Kaitlyn has a few projects coming up: she's continuing with Heartland, a Netflix show coming up (Slasher 2 I think she said?), and another show that also stars Paulino Nunes.

Her favourite scene to shoot was the first scene with Simon and Raphael.

She loves her scenes with Magnus because she loves working with Harry. After Harry, her favourite person to work with is Alberto.

Hardest thing to shoot/skill she had to learn whilst being on Shadowhunters was learning to speak with fangs in her mouth. She was pretty bad at speaking, but at least she was better than David. David was awful at first. Trying to do anything (e.g. pouring the bloody marys) whilst she had the long nails was very difficult too.

Another hard thing to shoot was the graveyard scene. Avery was born 5 weeks prior and shooting went till about 7am. She was also wearing heels which isn't easy on grass/mud.

She initially auditioned for the role of Izzy. They then brought her back to audition for Camille, which she got after one audition.

If she could play anyone else in the show it would be Magnus because his character is amazing, but if she's talking about a character she could physically play (e.g. a female) it would be Izzy.

On who is the biggest mother hen on set? Kat. Not in a particularly maternal way, but she always makes everyone - especially new cast members - feel welcome and part of the Shadowhunter family.

Kaitlyn loves British TV. Fave shows include Downton Abbey and Keeping Up Appearances. She also loves the Royal Family and Kate in particular.

Her comfort movie/movie she's seen the most is Monster In Law. She loves Jane Fonda.

One place she'd love to visit? Somewhere in Africa to see safari. However she'd have to wait till Avery is a little older as the flight is so long.

Her favourite animal is an ostrich. She'd love a pet ostrich, she'd name it Betty.

If she could dress Avery up as a Disney princess it would be Pocahontas. For Halloween last year she dressed her up as a gypsy bride, and her friend's son was the gypsy groom.

She loves being a mother cause it makes her feel like a wonder woman. Being able to juggle so much and look after another being is so fulfilling.

Her mother was her role model growing up, so she wants to be the same for Avery.

She doesn't really get starstruck, but when she was on Total Recall she had a moment of being starstruck when she saw Colin Farrell. Her husband joined her at the premiere and when he saw Jessica Biel he totally freaked and asked for a photo. 

Joel

Firstly Joel is like the funniest dorkiest man ever. He reiterated many times that if he does 'make it' and become a super famous actor in the future and becomes a douchebag, he wants us to call him out on it. He wants to always stay down to earth like he is now.

Joel is an actor and a stuntman. Trying to break into acting was difficult: casting directors would see his stunting resume and not really give him a chance. Luckily he's now seen as both and has a few different projects coming up. He's currently doing some work on Fargo.

He initially auditioned for the role of Meliorn, but that then went to Jade. They brought him back a few times and he then landed the role of Alaric.

He loves working across Isaiah, they were both such fun on set. Joel really wanted to pull a prank on Isaiah (saran wrap the toilet bowl in his trailer) but was scared Isaiah would kill him.

He was super freaked when he first heard that Isaiah was cast as Luke. 'That's the Old Spice guy??!!' but got over it pretty quickly. Secret: Isaiah literally is the Old Spice guy in real life.

Joel doesn't really get starstruck, but he once was at the craft table making a sandwich and Gary Oldman was next to him making a sandwich and he didn't know what to do with himself.

His favourite scene on Shadowhunters was when he kidnapped Clary/Simon and put them in the car, because he actually drove the car afterwards. He was told to 'drive safe but make it look dangerous'. He told Kat/Alberto to buckle up and just sped round the corner, as they hadn't buckled up they flew across the seats.

As a stuntman and professional skydiver he's broken like every bone in his body. (Don't quote me on this, but it was like his arms 3 times, every finger, both his wrists and all his ribs on one side?) He was actually in a coma once too. One of his arms has like metal and screws, it always beeps when he goes to the airport in China.

Though he's got a few projects he still professionally skydives and is going back to Toronto to do so very soon. He promised Dom that he'll bring him skydiving soon.

He didn't steal any clothes from the set because Alaric's clothes were 'so lame'. He hated on his dip dye plaid shirt.

He wishes he could've had more fight scenes. As a stuntman he would've loved to have more fight scenes and done all the stunts himself. If he could've redone his death scene it would've been a dramatic battle death.

He didn’t really prepare for the role/read any werewolf lore when he got the part. He feels if he prepares he tends to over prepare and just mess up. Acting is meant to be like real life - in real life we don’t prepare everything we say and have set lines, acting should be as natural as possible. You just have to learn your lines, hit your mark and listen to what others are saying to you.

He'd love to play Aladdin in the live action version. (Someone then started the hashtag #JoelLabelleForAladdin)

Actors he looks up to? Denzel Washington and Shia LaBeouf. (The first because he's an incredible actor, the latter as he's so famous yet his personal life is not in the limelight. Shia is a very 'normal person'.)

Worst/most embarrassing thing that has happened on a set? He was on Reign and was part of a battle scene outside where they all had to run/charge forward. He tripped over a log and fell pretty much into a really expensive camera and completely broke it. He's super clumsy on set and has knocked over/broken many props too.

He was so flattered and humbled about this weekend. It was his first con and 'one of the best things he's ever done.' Speaking to his family about it, his mother and sister were like 'why? why would people want to come and see and take photos with you?' his sister sent him a whatsapp like 'why, you're ugly'.

Jon

Firstly Jon is super poetic and everything he said was just so wonderful, quotable and long winded, so I probably won't be able to capture everything that was said. Like not from the panel, but his autographs took so long. Maxim and Joel were totally making fun of him and were saying he was writing poems for everyone. Every autograph had a little message, he was such a sweetheart (mine said 'you have a wonderful smile').

Jon's read all of the main TMI books and seen the film, he wanted to have his own take on Hodge. He wanted him to be seen as like an older brother/uncle, someone who was close to the Lightwoods. He wasn't a Lightwood though, and he's not part of the Circle, he's just somewhere in between, on his own.

He thinks Hodge felt so guilty after what he did, he was just so surprised and like 'oh no what's happening' when Valentine just took the cup from him.

His favourite Lightwood to work with was Alec, because he gets along really well with Matt.

If Hodge hadn't died yet, Jon would have loved to have done the scene from the books with Sebastian.

He can't say anything because of NDAs, so we don't know if Hodge might be able to come back. Perhaps in a flashback with Jace and Alec?

If Jon could play a superhero it would be Batman. Jon has a few different projects coming up, most recently he filmed a pilot for the CW. It's an adaption from a YA novel, I think he said something about mermaids? They don't know if they'll get picked up or not but from what they've heard, the pilot is being very warmly received.

If Jon wasn't an actor he would just be a writer. He talked a lot about his book and short stories and gave advice to writers. He started writing his book when he was 19 and every now and then he goes back to it and rewrites bits. It's been finished for years, he just always changes bits and doesn't want to publish it yet. When he does publish it, it will be free and proceeds will go to charity. He said he thought about going to an editor or publisher but he doesn't want restrictions. With acting, he is just an actor who is told what to do - by the script, directors, producers.. etc. Writing on the other hand is something personal and truly where he can be free to do whatever he wants.

Jon talked about his mother a lot. She was a 16 year old single mother and daughter to a priest (I think he said, or granddaughter?). He was originally meant to be put up for adoption but once she had him she couldn't let him go. She went to the prospective parents and apologised that she couldn't give him up. She's basically his biggest constant and role model in life, and why he cares and admires women so much. He got really emotional and choked up and I thought I was about to cry. The whole room was just silent.

Jon and his mother moved around a lot when he was younger so he was always the 'new kid' at school. That's how he ended up acting - he once joined a drama class and realised acting was a way he could almost deflect any of the mean things people said about him/how he could make others laugh. He felt like as the new kid he always had to prove himself to others.

So obviously his name is Jon Cor - when he was bullied his nickname was Jon Apple Core, his nickname from friends was Jonny Hardcore.

He talked a while about gaming (unfortunately I can't really remember the games he talked about) but he was saying how he appreciates games as an art form. Some games have beautiful storylines and are way more than just *sings Super Mario theme song*.

He laughed and talked about some of his past projects, including Saw. He said it was such a fun and crazy experience, there was one scene where he was just handcuffed to a chair for a while, whilst his co-star was hung above him. They took her down every few takes and made sure she wasn't hanging for too long, but she still became numb from the waist down and had to go to hospital.

Jon’s all time favourite band are The White Stripes. He also absolutely loves The Doors.

Maxim

Obviously the first thing everyone talked about was Jocelyn's death. Similarly Maxim talked about NDAs so can't confirm or deny if she'll be able to come back at all.

She found out about Jocelyn's death after shooting 2x02.

If Jocelyn were still alive she would've loved to have had more scenes with Isaiah. Following the books, Jocelyn and Luke would've eventually gotten married.

Isaiah is also a great kisser. As on screen kisses are so mechanical they’re often pretty awkward, so it’s always a pleasant surprise when you find an actor who kisses great on screen.

Her favourite episode is the pilot. There was just something so magical about the first episode, everyone was so excited to film and to be part of such a huge project.

Her favourite scene with Kat is the one from the pilot where Jocelyn gives Clary her stele.

She loved the World Inverted episode, she'd love to explore that again. She said when her and Alan were dancing, he kept saying that they should kiss. 'Alan is so in love with me!'

She thought everyone was so great in the AU episode, she though Isaiah was hilarious and Emeraude did such a great job with nerd!Izzy.

Her best friends on set were Alan and Jon.

Maxim only did one audition and got the role. She filmed her audition on her iPhone in a hotel room and got it straight away. (Joel was so amazed, ‘one audition? ONE audition?! one audition on an iphone???’) She submitted her video on a Thursday, got told she got the role on Sunday, flew out on Tuesday and started filming on Thursday. 

Though Jocelyn and Maryse had a rough relationship, Maxim thinks Jocelyn would totally approve of Clary's friendship with Isabelle. She wouldn't judge Izzy on her parents' mistakes, and be happy that Clary has someone so strong to show her the ropes.

On Climon/Clace: Jocelyn would approve of Climon because she knows Simon is like the nicest and sweetest boy who would treat Clary right. (As Maxim she totally does not ship them though). With Clace she at first wouldn't approve as she never wanted Clary to get involved with a Shadowhunter cause she'd be scared he'd turn out like Valentine, but in the end would approve. She'd realise that Jace is a good person who will treat her right and protect her.

She said that Alberto is so much like Simon and is the nicest, sweetest boy. She once asked him if she could adopt him. She wants a small Alberto that she can carry around in her pocket.

When the younger actors were filming the flashback episodes, Maxim spoke to the actress portaying young!Jocelyn. She gave her more physical pointers such as how she moves and how she fights - she held the blade in one hand which was unfortunate for the younger actress as it was super heavy. (Maxim said after the day they shot the flashback in the park where Jocelyn kills the demon from the lake in the park she could barely move her arm.)

She feels like she was the mother hen on set, though she's not particularly serious herself. She played pranks and scared people too. She wanted to hide in Dom's bathroom and jump out at him but she was scared of what he'd do afterwards.

Speaking of pranks, she said her best one ever was on a film that was shot in Mexico. One of the actors was kinda drunk and like asking them to all go out at like 3am when they had a call the next morning, so the next day they told the director/producer. They hired two guys to act as cops and pretend that he did something wrong and would get arrested, they staged a whole argument between the cops and director in Spanish (the actor doesn't speak it so was just standing there scared). They convinced him he was going to get arrested and wouldn't be allowed back to Canada. This lasted two hours.

She also pulled a pretty harsh prank on her mother. Her mother always used to buy the lottery, and one day when she was out she asked Maxim/her husband to write down the numbers for her. Maxim and her dad decided it would be fun to pretend she won a lot of money, found her ticket and wrote down 5 of the 6 numbers. Her mother thought she had won like $250,000 dollars and was totally freaking out, then they told her they lied.

Maxim is a scuba diver. She’d totally recommend scuba divers to go to Belize.

She loves British music. Currently she’s loving Adele, Ed Sheeran and Coldplay.

And finally just a few notable thoughts that came up in the group discussion with Maxim/Jon/Joel (Kaitlyn had to leave early to fly back to Canada):

Which character would win a THG battle? Everyone agreed Alaric would die pretty soon, it was a toss up between Jocelyn and Hodge though (brains vs. brawl)

What weapon would they use in a THG fight? Joel said a machine gun. Jon said a pen, because the ‘pen is mightier than the sword’. He then went on a ramble about how he’d just do small things like steal Maxim’s toothbrush and slowly make her think that she’s going insane. Joel and Maxim pretended to fall asleep as he discussed his plans.

Favourite colour? Maxim and Joel both said blue. They think perhaps because it reminds them of the sea/sky respectively (scuba diver/skydiver). Joel’s is red.

What crazy colour would they dye their hair (in real life or for a role)? Joel - blue (because it’s his fave colour), Maxim - platinum, Hodge - purple (perhaps for a punky dude who steals things? Again, he went on a roll and Maxim/Joel just started laughing)

Spirit animal? Joel - pig (I’m so lazy), Maxim - dolphin, Jon - lion

And that’s about it for my write up. It’s 11:30 and I’m super tired, hopefully this all makes sense! I wrote half of this whilst on the tube home from the con, so if there any grammatical mistakes I apologise. If I think of any more I’ll update this, feel free to ask me any qs! And check out my forsaken tag, I’ll upload more photos later.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! xx

[ranwing]

Kadam Fic: Just Breathe (12/12)

Title: Just Breathe Series: Season Four Remix Pairing(s), Characters(s): Kadam, Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford, Burt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Carmen Tibideaux, Cassandra July, Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans, Adam’s Apples, Original Characters Rating: PG13  Genre(s): canon divergence, major lol Klaine and Blaine. Parts: 12/12

Summary: Auditions mean new challenges for Kurt and those around him, forcing him to face both his past and his future.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven

On AO3

Kurt stared disbelievingly at his phone screen, as if staring long and hard enough would somehow magically transform the text message from his boyfriend into something that made some kind of rational sense. Both of them had been so busy the past few days now that the semester was over that they hadn’t seen much of one another, and it wasn’t unusual for them to go nearly a whole day without a phone call or text between them. Kurt had been putting in extra hours at Vogue, wanting to give Isabelle as much of his time as possible before he took his summer leave of absence. Adam had been busy with auditions and preparations for his graduation ceremony.

He knew that Adam’s parents had arrived in New York for his graduation and that he would be meeting them at some point before the ceremony. What he had not been expecting was a text from his boyfriend at three o’clock in the afternoon that he’d totally forgotten to inform Kurt that his parents had made dinner reservations for that evening and that they’d all be meeting at their hotel at six. Something that Kurt was in no way prepared for. Not with how he was dressed.

“I’m dead,” he moaned, wondering if it would be more convenient to just off him himself rather than plotting the demise of his irresponsible boyfriend. Isabelle would not appreciate blood all over the office, but he could probably smother himself in the supply closet without making any undue messes. His boss shouldn’t have to suffer because his boyfriend was an absent-minded ninny.

The rational, empathic side of him insisted that Adam couldn’t really be blamed for being forgetful when he had so much on his plate. It was entirely understandable that he was excited about his graduation and seeing his parents for the first time in nearly a year. That, however, did not change the fact that Kurt was entirely unprepared. He’d spent most of the day running errands for Isabelle and the sudden late spring heat and humidity snap left him a disheveled mess. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was a frizzy disaster and he was very much in need of a shower. But even if he left work at that instant, he didn’t have the time to get back to the loft, shower and change, and then make it back to Manhattan in time to meet the Crawfords.

Chase stopped by to drop some files off for Kurt to put away and didn’t miss the dismayed expression on the younger man’s face.

“Hey, Kurt… are you okay?” the older man asked, his handsome face showing his genuine concern.

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes wide and a little bit manic. “Besides my boyfriend being an idiot?” he asked mournfully. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing that wouldn’t help him at all.

Chase couldn’t help from chucking a bit at Kurt’s dramatics. “I’m sure it can’t be that bad,” he consoled. “What did Adam do now?”

Kurt sighed, knowing that his romantic life was something of a favorite source of gossip in the office. “Oh, only forget to tell me that his parents made dinner reservations for us for tonight. And I only have three hours before I’m supposed to meet them at their hotel,” he complained. “There is no way I can get cleaned up and get there in time.”

Chase cocked his head thoughtfully, studying the despondent younger man and considering their options. “Did you forget where you work?” he asked playfully.

Taking Kurt by the arm, Chase pulled him into their boss’s office and announced, “Isabelle? We have a situation here.”

The petite woman looked up at their entrance in surprise, not even attempting to hide her concern that the problem apparently involved Kurt. She quickly got up from her seat and hurried out from behind her desk, surprisingly poised despite balancing on precariously high-heeled Jimmy Choo pumps.

“Kurt, what’s the matter?” she asked, seeing how frantic her normally unflappable assistant looked. “Is your father okay?”

His boss and coworker had been a blessing to Kurt. From the very moment he’d first arrived in their offices with nothing to his name by a fashion blog with a few followers and a head full of ambitions, they’d been nothing but embracing and supportive. And in Chase’s case, playfully flirtatious. That had greatly helped Kurt to regain his confidence after his first rejection from NYADA, and then the heartbreak of his first real breakup. They might still be grumbling a bit over his preference of pursuing a theater career over fashion, but Isabelle had insisted he had a place at Vogue for as long as he wanted.

Kurt looked up at them helplessly and his dilemma poured out of him in a rush. “I mean, he knew that I was waiting to hear what plans they might have,” he complained. “And there’s no way that I’m going to get home and find something to wear in time! He’s such a jerk! And he’s all ‘sorry, I totally forgot’! They’re going to think I’m a total slob!”

Isabelle tried not to laugh at Kurt’s mimicking of his boyfriend’s accent and the way he was flinging up his hands in frustration, pacing about the office as he ranted. Having seen her assistant handle temperamental designers, models and writers with aplomb, Kurt’s own display of temper was rather amusing.

“Sweetie, calm down,” she soothed, reaching out to touch his arm comfortingly. “We’ll get this sorted out.”

She looked to Chase, considering their options. “Why don’t you run down to the vault and see if you can find something suitable for him,” she suggested. “We should have just enough time to get him fitted if we hurry.”

Chase nodded and looked to Kurt. “Where are you going to dinner?” he asked.

Kurt sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Café Boulud. I’ve never been there so I have no idea what might be appropriate.”

Chase’s eyebrow rose in appreciation. “Nice. So we need something a little on the dressy side, but not too stuffy.”

Isabelle’s eyes sparked at the prospect of outfitting Kurt. “What about that grey Canali suit?” she proposed. “The one we used in last month’s shoot?”

Chase considered the suggestion and shook his head. “It’s a little uptight, don’t you think? We don’t want him to look like a stock broker,” he reminded. He looked Kurt over, considering his options. “I was thinking more about a Sartorio linen jacket with a soft scarf. Something classic, but young.”

“With the Lanvin trousers,” Isabelle suggested. “The blue ones that we just got in.”

“Perfect!” Chase proclaimed. “Let me go downstairs and grab them.”

“Don’t forget some accessories!” Isabelle called out as Chase rushed out the door. She then got on the phone to call one of the other departments. “Hi, Javier. Are you crazy busy right now? I need a favor. Can I send my assistant down for a quick wash and styling? Great! He’ll be there in five. I really appreciate it.”

Hanging up, she gave Kurt a reassuring smile. “Okay… you get down to Hair and Makeup and Javier will get you sorted out. Chase should be back by the time you’re done and I’ll get one of the tailors up here. We’ll get you there in time,” she promised. “Now get going… Javier is waiting for you.”

Kurt gave his boss a thankful smile, grateful that he had the good fortune to work for someone so considerate. When he arrived in the stylists’ area, Javier quickly and cheerfully took him in hand, ushering him to the small shower that was usually used by models to wash off after a shoot. Once Kurt was clean and feeling much better, Javier sat him down at his workstation and offered some suggestions to freshen up Kurt’s usual style. Having someone pamper him a little bit set him more at ease and put him in a better frame of mind for the meeting that he’d been anticipating for some time.

He ended up leaving the Vogue offices with exactly twenty minutes to spare in an Uber car that Isabelle had called for him and wearing about two thousand dollars of designer clothing. He looked perfect and barring any major traffic jams, would arrive just in time to meet the Crawfords. He texted Adam that he was on his way and would be there shortly.

Now that he was suitably groomed and dressed for the occasion, Kurt was able to admit that at least part of his tantrum at the office was the result of nerves about meeting Adam’s parents in person. He knew that he was being silly, as he’d joined in on several of Adam’s Skype calls home. But meeting them in person was a big deal. He and Adam were in love and he very much wanted to make a good impression. It would mean a great deal to Adam to have Kurt accepted by his family and the last thing he wanted was to make them think that he wasn’t good enough for Adam.

He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He hadn’t been this nervous when he’d met the Andersons and had managed to maintain a cordial, if not overly warm relationship with them for the duration of his relationship with Blaine. His own family had all but adopted Adam and the Crawfords had seemed so friendly when he’d spoken with them. He knew rationally that there was no reason for him to be at all anxious.

Maybe it was because meeting Adam’s family would be the final stamp on just how serious their relationship was. Families had expectations and Adam had already faced Kurt’s father. Now it was Kurt’s turn and while he wasn’t exactly afraid that he might be found wanting, that didn’t erase the fact that he wanted to prove to Adam’s accomplished parents that he was a suitable partner to the son that they clearly loved so much.

As his care pulled up to the front of the London Hotel, Kurt took a steadying breath, hoping to quiet the last of his nerves. He couldn’t walk in there like this was some kind of performance because Adam didn’t deserve that. This was real life and he was going to show the Crawfords his best, most genuine face. It would be enough.

* * *

Adam checked his watch, noting that Kurt should be arriving shortly. He still felt absolutely terrible about having completely forgotten to let Kurt know about his parent’s plans before his boyfriend had left for work for the day and he could tell from the terseness of Kurt’s texts that he was understandably upset about the late invitation. Adam sighed, knowing that he would need to do a fair bit of groveling in order to get back into his boyfriend’s good graces.

He looked to his parents, a rueful expression on his face. “Kurt should be here in just a bit,” he informed them. “I’m afraid that he might be a bit cross with me.”

“Adam, I cannot believe that you forget to tell Kurt,” his mother admonished as she put the final touches on her makeup. Though she was dressed simply in a pair of black slacks and a white blouse, her simple clothing and jewelry looked very classy in an understated way that Adam knew his fashion forward boyfriend would appreciate. She gave her son a disappointed shake of her head, making her displeasure clear.

“I know, Mum. I messed up,” he admitted. “I have to figure out how to make it up to him.”

“I’m sure that once we get a glass or two of wine into him, he’ll feel better,” Peter Crawford suggested, giving his son a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You’ve had a lot on your mind the past few days, and it’s obvious that Kurt loves you. He won’t stay mad for long.”

That was something Adam was certain of, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t feel terribly about totally neglecting to let Kurt know of the plans well in advance.

His mother put on her earrings and gave her husband and son a smile. “Well, why don’t we head downstairs and meet him in the lobby so he’s not waiting for us? Peter, do you have the gift for him?”

“Right here,” her husband assured her, holding up the elegant gift bag. Offering her his arm, they stepped out of their suite, their son following behind him.

Riding in the elevator down to the lobby, Ellie Crawford gave her son a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure that Kurt won’t be too upset with you,” she insisted gently.

Adam allowed himself to smile, momentarily reassured. “I know, Mum. I’m just annoyed with myself for being such a total berk.”

“Everyone’s got so much happening right now,” his father reminded him. “Both of you have a lot on your plates.”

“I know. It’s just... Kurt hates to be unprepared for anything,” Adam explained. “And he’s a bit nervous about meeting you both, so I know he wants to make a good impression. I’m afraid that I just made things very difficult for him.”

“We’ll make it up to him,” Ellie promised as they stepped out of the elevator. The hotel lobby was a bit crowded, with guests coming in from a day of sightseeing or heading out for an evening on the town. “Is he here yet? I don’t see him.”

Adam looked about and felt himself smiling when Kurt stepped through the front doors, looking surprisingly well put together for someone who’d just a few hours ago had an unexpected dinner engagement dumped in his lap. Stepping forward, he held out his arms and gathered his boyfriend into a warm embrace.

He felt Kurt sigh a bit, then relax into Adam’s arms, turning his face up for the offered kiss. “You look amazing, darling,” Adam complimented, taking in the sight of the younger man’s stylish outfit. Kurt looked like he’d just stepped off a fashion runway.

Kurt gave him an arch stare. “We have Isabelle to thank for that,” he said, a trace of condemnation clear in his voice. “It’s a good thing I work for a fashion magazine.”

Adam couldn’t help from wincing. “I am so sorry, sweetheart,” he said sincerely, feeling awful about being so inconsiderate. “I should have called you last night as soon as my folks told me what they had planned. I was so excited about seeing them but… that’s no excuse.”

He sighed, gently smoothing back a lock of Kurt’s hair behind his ear. “I am so sorry,” he apologized with all the sincerity he could manage. “I was a thoughtless idiot.”

“Yes, you were,” Kurt agreed, though there was no heat in his voice. He gave Adam a fond, exasperated stare. “You are very lucky that I have a wonderful boss and a coworker that delights in dressing me like his personal Ken doll.”

Adam tamped down the spark of jealousy that flared at the mention of Chase, even though he knew that Kurt had no intention of reciprocating the man’s interest. “Well, you look absolutely smashing,” he complimented. He was glad that he had thought to wear some of the more fashionable items from his wardrobe that Kurt had given him over the past weeks so that he wouldn’t look poorly in comparison. “And I really am dead from the neck up sometimes.”

Kurt huffed, but found it impossible to stay angry and offered his lover a small smile. “Yes you are, but I love you anyway.”

Adam could feel his parents’ stares and knew that they were trying their best to give him and Kurt a bit of space, but were eagerly awaiting their formal introductions. He gave Kurt a reassuring smile and asked, “Think you’re ready to meet them?”

Kurt nodded and warned, “If they hate me, I’m holding you fully responsible.”

“Noted.”

He kept his arm about Kurt, a reassuring presence as he guided the younger man to where his parents were waiting. He bit back a smile at how his mother was all but quivering with excitement while his father just had a pleased expression at seeing the two of them together.

“Mum, Dad… I know that you’ve spoken, but this is my Kurt,” he introduced proudly, glad to finally have the chance to show off his boyfriend to his family.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you both,” Kurt said with just the slightest trace of nervousness in his voice. “In person, that is.”

Ellie quickly swept Kurt up into a hug, all but pulling him away from Adam to do so. “I was right!” she proclaimed happily, squeezing a surprised squeak from Kurt. “You’re even more gorgeous than you looked over the computer. So stylish and posh…”

“Ellie, let the poor boy breathe,” her husband playfully reprimanded when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to release him any time soon. He wouldn’t be putting it past his wife to already be planning how to smuggle their son’s partner back to England with them.

He looked to Kurt apologetically, explaining, “I think she’s more excited about meeting you than seeing Adam. We’re very glad to be meeting you, son.” He shook Kurt’s hand warmly, hoping to make up a bit for his wife’s over-enthusiasm.

“Adam, did Melissa come too?” Kurt asked, looking about for his boyfriend’s sister. He probably shouldn’t have been surprised that she didn’t appear to be there.

Ellie shook her head, letting Adam take possession of his boyfriend again. “I’m afraid she couldn’t make it,” she explained regretfully. “And she was so looking forward to meeting you too.”

“Melissa has been tied up with a huge court case the past few weeks,” Adam explained. “Remember that big horse seizure I told you about? It’s the kind of thing that can take months to resolve, so I knew that it was possible that she wouldn’t be able to come.”

“What a shame,” Kurt mused, sad on Adam’s behalf. “I know that you’re disappointed.”

“A bit,” Adam admitted. “But her work is important so I do understand.”

Adam’s father nodded regretfully. “She was very upset that she wasn’t going to be able to get away, even for a few days,” he insisted. “She very much wanted to see you, and to meet Kurt. And that reminds me…”

Peter held out the gift bag he’d been holding to Kurt. “This is just a little something from Melissa and us,” he explained. “A little ‘welcome to the family’ token. And to thank you for watching out for Adam for us.”

Kurt hesitated before accepting, taken aback by the gesture. “You didn’t have to do that. I’m just glad to be here with you all.”

Ellie snorted. “Nonsense! We wanted to bring you a little bit of England since Adam told us that you’re something of an Anglophile. We thought this was something that you, of all people, would appreciate.”

Kurt sighed, knowing that he couldn’t refuse without giving offense. “Thank you,” he said politely, opening the bag and pulled out a heavy hardcover book from the nest of tissue paper.

His eyes widened at seeing the title on the aged cover. “Oh,” he breathed, stunned at what he was holding in his hands.

Adam leaned in to see. “What is it, love?”

Kurt held out the book carefully, as if afraid of dropping it. “A collection of Noël Coward’s plays,” he said in astonishment.

Adam’s father watched his response in amusement, glad that they had apparently chosen wisely. “It’s a first edition,” he pointed out, causing Kurt to gasp a little bit. “We thought it would make a fine addition to your personal collection.”

“Adam told us that you especially love Coward’s works,” Ellie inserted, letting her husband place his arm about her shoulders and hold her close. “Take a look inside.”

At her urging, Kurt opened the book to the title page and nearly dropped it in shock at seeing the author’s name written in a very clear and distinctive script. He had no doubt that it was genuine and felt himself looking up at Adam’s parents in shock.

“I can’t take this,” he insisted, holding the book out of them. “It’s too valuable. I can’t…”

Adam’s father shook his head. “You most definitely can, Kurt. We wanted you to have this.”

“But it’s too much,” Kurt protested weakly, not even attempting to try and guess at how much a book like this would cost. An original printing would be rare enough, but to have it autographed by Noël Coward himself…

Ellie made a gentle shushing sound. “Not at all,” she claimed. “Kurt, sweetheart… this is just a little token from all of us.”

“It’s from my father’s collection,” Peter explained, giving the younger man a fond smile. “He met Mr. Coward many years ago, but the poor book has been gathering dust for ages. He’d have wanted it to go to someone who would really appreciate it.”

Realizing that protesting much longer would offend the Crawfords, Kurt looked down at the precious text in his hands, his finger tracing the gold lettering on the spine. He looked to Adam’s parents and couldn’t help from smiling, so taken by surprise at their generosity. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. He felt himself hugging the book to his chest, as if to protect the precious thing from the world.

Adam just smiled and bent to kiss Kurt’s head, holding him close. “You silly thing,” he teased. “I told you that they’d love you.”

Kurt snorted, using his head to nudge at Adam’s shoulder. “Hush, you…”

“Well, we’d better get a move on if we want to keep our reservation,” Peter stated, amused at the antics of the younger men. “We should have enough time to walk, if that’s all right with everyone.”

“Oh, yes!” his wife exclaimed. “It’s such a lovely day outside.”

Adam helped Kurt place the book back into the gift bag and offered to carry it, not terribly surprised when Kurt glared at him like Adam was asking Kurt to sever a limb. But the younger man consented to letting Adam hold his hand as they walked outside with Adam’s parents.

As they leisurely strolled to the restaurant and enjoyed the spring weather, Kurt felt completely at ease with Adam’s family. He listened to Peter Crawford reminisce about the times he’d played in Carnage Hall and the travails of trying to drag his cello about the city, while Ellie mused about how rapidly New York seemed to change, always different each time they visited. And as always, Adam remained a comforting presence at his side.

* * *

Rachel paused, not sure of what she was looking for as she stood outside of Ms. July’s office. Classes were over and they’d gotten their grades so all of her questions should have been answered. Instead she was left even more confused about where she stood in the grand scheme of things. Never before had her vision of her own future been so unclear, and she very much needed to figure out where she went from here.

She heard sounds of movement from inside the office, confirming that the dance teacher hadn’t already left for the summer break just yet. Steeling her courage, she raised her fist to knock on the door and hoped that with classes being concluded that her teacher might be in the mood to help.

“Come in!” Ms. July called out and Rachel opened the door to step inside, surprised at what she found. Having spent nearly a full year in seeing her teacher in leggings and dance attire, to see her dressed in skinny jeans and a faded Depeche Mode concert t-shirt as she packed up her office for the summer.

Ms. July looked up at Rachel, her long ponytail swinging behind her. “What do you want, Schwimmer? I would have though that you’d be out trying to show some director that you know better than they do.”

The insulting greeting hurt, mostly because Rachel knew that she was right. “I was hoping to catch you before you left for the summer,” she explained, trying to be as respectful as possible.”

“Well, get on with it,” Ms. July demanded sharply. “Because there’s a beach and a piña colada with my name on it waiting for me, and I am not going to miss my flight for you.”

Rachel nodded. “I won’t take much of your time… I just had a question about my grade,” she said.

“It should be pretty self-explanatory,” Ms. July snapped as she carefully placed her plants into a box.

Rachel nodded. “But what I don’t understand is why you gave me an Incomplete,” she stated. “You told me that I was failing, so I’m a little confused why you didn’t just fail me outright.”

Cassandra huffed in annoyance and turned an irritated gaze to the younger woman. “You really are dense,” she noted harshly. “I’m giving you an out and you’re questioning it? Do you want me to fail you?”

“No!” Rachel insisted. “Of course not. But I don’t get why you didn’t.”

The dance instructor’s gaze turned flinty, her mouth drawn into a harsh frown. “You know, most students just sigh in relief when they don’t fail a class they were expecting to, but you would be the one to start questioning a gift horse.” She shook her head in frustration.

“Look, you and I both know that you rightly should have failed. You didn’t give any real effort and you didn’t improve at all this year,” Cassandra reminded her student.

Rachel felt herself wither at the harsh assessment, but it wasn’t anything that she hadn’t already heard from her teacher.

“Your final assessment just confirmed that you would never survive the next level of classes and I had no qualms about holding you back. But your performance did give me something to consider.”

Ms. July looked down at her, her gaze penetrating. “You actually put in a bit of real effort. And you asked for help. Much too late to be of any use, granted, but it was the first time all year that you acknowledged what a fuck up you’ve been.”

She shrugged, turning to toss a few more things into the box to go home. “Make no mistakes, Berry… what I did for you is a much bigger favor than you deserve. If you repeat the class and pass, the Incomplete won’t affect your GPA. But that’s entirely up to you.”

Rachel nodded in understanding. “I already signed up for the summer intensive, like you suggested,” she explained. “I really am taking this seriously now.”

The older woman gave her an appraising stare, as if weighing out the sincerity of her words. “I’m not the one you have to convince anymore, Berry,” she stated firmly. “You’ve already blown your chance at making me think you’ve got potential and a real willingness to learn. But you’re getting a new teacher who doesn’t know you, so you’ve got another chance to prove that you’re not just full of hot air. It’s up to you at this point not to screw it up.”

Rachel knew that she shouldn’t have expected her teacher to be any kinder to her now, so the harsh words didn’t cut nearly as deeply as they might have a few weeks ago. And she could hardly claim that however hurtfully worded that she didn’t very well deserve that criticism. Having another chance might not be something that she’d earned, but she wasn’t going to turn it down over misplaced pride.

“I won’t,” she insisted. But her teacher had already tuned her out, returning to gathering her personal possessions and packing them to take home for the summer. “I just… I just wanted to say that I appreciate this. And that I’m sorry for giving you so much trouble.”

She turned to leave when her teacher called out, “Berry. One more thing…”

Rachel bit back a sigh, wondering if the older woman felt a need to tear into her a bit more. If just for old time’s sake.

Cassandra looked down at the younger woman, her face set in a firm scowl. “Just a bit of advice,” she offered with clear reluctance to give any kind of aid.

“Forget about trying to prove that you’re the best dancer in the room, because you’re not,” Cassandra reminded her sternly. “You don’t have the natural facility for it, so however good you’re going to get is going to hinge on how much work you’re willing to put in. And even then, you’re not going to be so fantastic. Maybe good enough for chorus work… if they stick you in the background.

“If you stop trying to prove that you’re the best that ever existed, you might actual learn something. There’s always going to be someone better than you,” Ms. July warned. “If you focus on being your best instead of worrying about being the best, you’ll do a lot better.”

It wasn’t what Rachel wanted to hear, but she had gained enough self-awareness over the past few weeks to accept that it was what she needed to hear. If the humbling she’d endured accomplished anything at all, she knew that it forced her to recognize her shortcomings and how they were holding her back.

She nodded, letting her teacher know that she was paying attention. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised, more to herself than Ms. July. Her teacher might have granted her a small bit of help, but Rachel was smart enough by this point not to press her luck.

And she didn’t think that Ms. July would be too offended if she avoided her classes in the future.

* * *

Santana and Rachel looked up as the door to the loft slid open and Kurt walked inside. “Oh wow… look who finally made a reappearance,” Santana chuckled, shaking her head in mock reproach. “We thought that the Crawfords must have kidnapped you.”

“Ha ha… We’re not completely joined at the hip just yet,” Kurt responded.

“Hey stranger,” Rachel greeted brightly. “Come on in… we’ve got company.”

It was only then that Kurt noticed that they weren’t alone. “When did you two get here?” he asked, coming over to greet Tina and Artie. If he showed a measure of restraint when greeting Tina, no one commented. His reserve towards her was more than understandable.

“We just got in yesterday,” Artie explained. “We wanted to check out our living arrangements before the school term begins.”

“You’re both coming to school in New York?” Kurt asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

The two of them looked good now that the pressure of high school was done with. Artie’s wardrobe looking a bit more put together than Kurt remembered him being, with clothes that were considerably more stylish and better fitted. Tina was dressed casually in jeans and a bohemian-style top that looked quite becoming on her. Kurt just wished that he felt better about seeing the both of them.

Tina nodded, a bit shyly. “Artie’s going to film school here in Brooklyn. And I got into NYU.”

“That’s wonderful,” Kurt congratulated sincerely. “For theater?”

Tina allowed herself to smile a bit. “Yeah… I got in. I really did.”

Despite how things had deteriorated between them, Kurt was genuinely happy for her. Tina had spent a lot of her time at McKinley being ignored and sidelined in much the same way he’d been, so he was genuinely glad to see her get that kind of affirmation. And for her to get admitted when Blaine didn’t… he wasn’t going to hide that he found this a much more preferable option, even if they really weren’t friends anymore.

“So now that school’s over, we decided to fly up and to see the dorms… get the lay of the land… Get a feel for the place,” Artie explained. He reached over to take Tina’s hand in his.

Kurt’s eyes widened a bit. “Are you two back together?”

Tina nodded, giving Artie a fond smile. “For the past few weeks,” she admitted. “We started talking after we got our acceptance letters since we’d both be going to New York. And one thing led to another. So we’re giving it another try.”

Artie lifted her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. “A lot changed since you guys were last in Lima,” he insisted.

“I can’t wait to hear all about it,” Kurt insisted. “But I think we’re going to need a few bottles of wine, so I’ll run down to the store…”

“I’ll come with you,” Tina inserted, getting up from the couch. The look she gave Kurt was imploring. “If it’s okay with you, Kurt.”

Kurt sighed, having hoped to avoid any uncomfortable interactions. He hated surprises and being put on the spot like this, but to refuse her would only exacerbate the undercurrent of tension in the room. Seeing no way to refuse her without making everyone uncomfortable, he decided that it was better to bite the bullet and just get it over with.

Tina followed him downstairs and they began to walk towards the wine and liquor store that they had been frequenting the past few months because the clerk didn’t look too hard at their fake I.D.s. They walked in silence at first, Kurt not wanting to start a conversation and Tina clearly trying to figure out what to say to him. It hurt Kurt, because they were so close at one time. Of all the friends that he’d lost, she was one that bothered him the most.

“I didn’t know you applied to NYU,” he finally broached when the silence between them became too uncomfortable. “Blaine didn’t mention it when he was here.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “Blaine and I… we’re really not on speaking terms right now,” she admitted with a trace of regret. “After Mr. Schu’s wedding… we started drifting apart.”

She shook her head. “No, that’s not right. I think that I just started seeing more of who he really is instead of who I wanted him to be. I realized that I was using him as a substitute boyfriend and he…” She paused and forced back the bite she still felt when she realized just what their “friendship” constituted. “He was just using me.”

Kurt inhaled and nodded. “He… does tend to do that.”

She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and looked down at her sandaled feet. “I’ve wanted to talk to you so much since I saw you, because I have to apologize. I treated you so badly at the wedding and you didn’t deserve that from me.”

Kurt looked at her and watched as she wiped at her eyes.

“It’s just… the past year was so hard,” she explained. “All of my closest friends graduated and Mike broke up with me before he even left. That was bad enough, but I thought that it would finally be me time to shine and instead I ended up being ignored again. I guess that I just latched onto Blaine because I had nothing else going for me and I… I just kind of lost my mind.”

Kurt didn’t respond immediately because while he sympathized with her situation, having been there himself, that didn’t excuse her treatment of him.

She then pause and shook her head. “It’s not an excuse to how I treated you, but all I could see is that you were turning down someone who wouldn’t look twice at me the way I wanted. Seeing you at the wedding and getting that verbal smack down… it woke me up.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling a bit. “I’m good at that,” he admitted.

Tina gave him a shy smile. “Yes, you are. I missed seeing you do that to people. But being on the receiving end isn’t quite as much fun. Even though I totally deserved it.”

“You kinda did,” Kurt agreed. He looked at her archly. “Is that why you tried to warn me about Blaine?”

She nodded. “I didn’t want him to blindside you. I knew he was going to try to make trouble and wanted to at least give you a heads up. I don’t think I can blame you for ignoring me.”

Kurt didn’t answer her immediately, considering his options here carefully. He’d missed his friendship with Tina and she’d been one of his best friends for a long time. Their estrangement had hurt him, that she would chose his ex over him despite all they’d been to one another. Tina’s regret was obvious and while he was reluctant to leave himself open to being hurt again, he didn’t want to lose anything else to Blaine.

“Rachel says that you and Adam are doing really well,” Tina said gently, giving him a soft smile. “I’m really happy for you. You really deserve to have someone treating you well after putting up with Blaine for so long.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling at the thought of his boyfriend. “Thanks,” he said sincerely. “He’s been great. It’s going to be interesting to see how things go now that he’s graduated. I guess we’ll be working out a lot of stuff over the summer.”

Tina moved as if to take his hand but stopped herself. She hadn’t earned that privilege yet.

“Well, I think that we’ll have plenty of time to talk and catch up on things,” he offered. “Since you’ll be going to school here. I mean… NYU isn’t that far from NYADA. And I know a few people at NYU now.”

Tina’s eyes teared up at the realization that he was at least being willing to give her the opportunity. “Thank you,” she said sincerely, wiping at her face.

Kurt offered her a gentle smile and took her hand in his. “It’s okay, Tina,” he assured her with as much sincerity as he could manage. “I think that we’ll be okay. Just give it a little time.”

Inside the wine shop, Tina looked about at the wide assortment. “What do you think?” she asked. “White or red?”

“Oh… white. Definitely. Maybe a rosé too,” Kurt decided, leading her to the refrigerated cabinet where the chilled wines were kept. After perusing the available options, he pulled out a few bottles and handed two of them to Tina. After picking out a few more bottles they made their way to the cashier where Kurt’s I.D. barely garnered more than a cursory glance.

They returned to the loft with their ill-gotten gain, Kurt announcing, “We’re back, and we come bearing Riesling.”

“Oh… yum,” Rachel said appreciatively, getting out some of their cheap wineglasses.

Artie watched with wide as Kurt poured for everyone and handed him a glass, even though none of them were legally of drinking age. “Do you do this all the time?” he asked, taking a sip.

Santana shrugged. “It’s not a big deal,” she insisted. “I mean, all of us are too busy to be drinking all the time, but we do enjoy a glass when we have the chance.”

“Welcome to New York,” Rachel chirped brightly. “This is one of the perks of being an adult out in the world.”

Tina shrugged and took a sip, her eyebrow raised appreciatively. “It’s a shame the dorms are really strict about this kind of thing,” she mused.

“It’s a shame about the dorms, period,” Artie added.

“That bad?” Kurt asked sympathetically.

Artie shrugged. “They’re technically handicapped accessible, but that’s about it,” he explained. “The rooms are okay and I should be able to manage in the showers by myself if I get a shower chair and no one moves it.”

Tina offered him a reassuring smile, taking his hand. “And it kind of sucks that he’ll be here in Brooklyn while I’ll be in Manhattan. We’re not going to see much of one another.”

Artie looked about the loft with a hint of ill-concealed longing. “It’s a shame that we can’t afford a place like this,” he mused. “It’s so open and I can get around easily. And it’s not far from school at all.”

Rachel’s eyes brightened as a thought came into her head. “Guys… I think I have an idea.”

Santana looked down into her glass, as if to find comfort there. “Uh oh… think we need to be worried about this,” she chuckled, tossing back the last of her wine and holding the glass out for Kurt to refill.

“No, seriously,” Rachel insisted. She looked to Artie and Tina. “Why don’t you both move in here? The rent isn’t too steep and it’s cheaper than the dorms with all of us splitting the costs. You said it yourself; it’s really easy for Artie to get around. And there are people around to help.”

“Uh, Rachel… don’t you think that’s going to really make the place crowded,” Kurt asked, not wanting to be the voice of reason but seeing that he needed to. “Not that it’s not something we shouldn’t consider, but we’ve already got three people living here and we just finally got Santana off the couch. Making two more sleeping areas is going to really tighten things up. Not to mention that we’ve only got one bathroom.”

Tina tried to hide her disappointment at Kurt’s reluctance. “Artie and I can share a space,” she insisted, looking to her boyfriend for confirmation. “I mean, we don’t need much.”

Kurt sighed, not seeing an easy solution. While the loft was spacious, it felt just perfect for the three people who already lived there. That didn’t say that there weren’t downsides. They had only one bathroom, which often meant a rush in the morning for everyone to have a chance to wash and brush their teeth before starting the day. Adding another two people into the mix, especially someone who would need additional time like Artie, would make it pretty much impossible.

He hated to be the bad guy in this, but he wouldn’t be doing his friends any favors by agreeing to a living arrangement that would leave everyone harried and miserable. He turned to the refrigerator, wondering if they had any cheese left that he could put out for snacking.

Rachel came up quietly to him, and he very much hoped that she wasn’t going to try to argue him into something that he knew just wouldn’t work.

She sighed and placed her arm about his waist, leaning in. “Kurt… I know that you think I’m jumping the gun here, but there was something that I don’t think you considered. I know that you’ve been thinking about moving in with Adam,” she said carefully, not wanting to look like she was trying to force him out. “You already spend most of your time there. I don’t think he’d object to having you to himself full time.”

He paused, looking down at her strangely. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d want me to move out,” he said thoughtfully.

She paused, giving him a loving smile. “I don’t,” she admitted. “But I know that it’s what you want and it would be really good for you to start building a life with him. And it’s not like I won’t be seeing you at school every day and you won’t be coming to visit.”

She squeezed him tightly, wanting for him to see that she really had his best interests at heart. “I think this can really be good for all of us,” she insisted. “I know that you didn’t talk about moving out because you didn’t want to leave us in the lurch, so this is a perfect solution.”

Kurt thought about it briefly, knowing that she was right. And while he would never had expected her to be the one to push him into making this choice, having her do so made it a lot easier.

“I’ll have to talk to Adam before we make any final decisions, but I don’t think he’d object too much,” he chuckled. “And we have to find a bigger place, because his apartment is just too small for us over the long haul.”

He inhaled sharply when it struck him just how momentous this really was. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” he couldn’t help from asking.

Rachel nodded and hugged him again. “Yeah, I think we are. Should we tell them the good news?”

Kurt nodded and the two of them returned to the main area where the others were waiting for him, his arm firmly about Rachel’s shoulders. “Okay… Rachel and I came up with a solution,” Kurt advised. “It’s been pointed out to me that I need to shack up with my boyfriend and this means that I can let Tina and Artie take my space if that works out. So long as you’re willing to work out a bathroom schedule, you should be able to manage. We’d just need to let the landlord know about the change and I’ll sign over the lease to Rachel and Santana.”

Artie and Tina looked stunned at the turn of events. “Kurt, are you sure?” the younger man asked carefully. “We didn’t come here to put you out of your home.”

Kurt felt a momentary pang at the thought of leaving the loft. He loved this space and it became the home that he and Rachel had built for themselves together. It had been his refuge and place to retreat to as he carved out his place in New York. Finding it had been his first step in becoming an adult on his own.

He realized that leaving the loft was his next step. Because the idea of waking up next to Adam every morning outweighed what he was losing. And he really wasn’t losing anything, he saw.

“It really is,” he assured them, unable to hide his smile. “Adam and I have talked about it, but I couldn’t abandon the girls. You two coming means that they can keep the loft.

“In fact, I’m going to let Adam know right now.” Kurt got out his cell phone and climbed out onto the fire escape where he could have a bit of privacy. Adam picked up after a few rings and greeted Kurt cheerfully.

“Hello, love. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you quite so soon.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling at the sound of his voice. “I just missed you,” he admitted. “Where are your folks?”

“They’re back at the hotel having a bit of a rest. It’s been a rather busy day and I can do with a nap myself,” Adam admitted.

“And they do want to see you before they leave tomorrow. I was thinking about taking them to Callbacks. Mum is rather disgruntled that she hasn’t had the chance to hear you sing yet.”

Kurt couldn’t help from chuckling at Adam’s teasing, but he knew that it was only slightly playful. Ellie Crawford had made her fondness for him very clear during their visit and was dropping very unsubtle hints about him singing for her. Unfortunately for her, between the graduation ceremony and time spent reconnecting with their son, there hadn’t been the opportunity.

“That will be nice,” Kurt said agreeably. “I’d like to see them again before they leave.”

He could almost feel Adam smiling over the phone. “I wanted to thank you for being so kind to them. And so patient with me the past few days. I’ve been completely barmy since they got here.”

Kurt wished he was there to hold Adam, knowing full well how it felt to be so far from your family. The family that they were building in New York wasn’t always a perfect substitute. He didn’t begrudge Adam’s lack of attention on him in the least.

“It’s okay, honey,” Kurt said gently. “I know that it’s hard being so far away from them.”

“It’s all right,” Adam insisted. “I’ve got a good life here. I’ve got my friends and I’ve got you. But maybe over your winter break we can take a few days and take a trip to England. I’d love to show you where I grew up, and you can meet all my childhood mates.”

“That sounds like a great idea. We’ll definitely plan something,” Kurt promised. “Listen, would it be okay with asking a few other people to join us at Callbacks? We’ve got some friends visiting from out of town that I wasn’t expecting.”

“Oh? Anyone I should be jealous of?” Adam teased.

“Just Artie and Tina. They’re coming to school here in the fall so they wanted to check things out.”

Adam was silent for a moment, clearly remembering Tina from the wedding. “Are you okay with them being there, love?” he asked, not hiding his concern.

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling at the quick support from his boyfriend. “It’s okay,” he assured Adam, knowing that he’d by on the subway and headed for Bushwick if Kurt gave the slightest indication that he was needed. “Tina and I talked and we’re… we’ll see how things work out between us. She’s really sorry and tried to warn me about Blaine, so I at least owe her the chance to try.”

“If you’re okay with that, sweetheart,” Adam said, leaving the matter entirely up to him. “Don’t feel obligated to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.” Again, Kurt got a reminder of why he had grown to love Adam. Rather than trying to manage his younger lover, he offered his support and advice but knew how to step back and be sure that Kurt knew what was best for himself.

But now to the matter at hand. “Anyway… there was something I wanted to talk to you about. Tina and Artie are going to need a place to stay that will work with Artie’s wheelchair and the dorms at his school aren’t so great. So we were thinking that if they move into the loft, I can move out and not have to worry about Rachel and Santana. If you can think of some alternate arrangements for me, that is…” He trailed off, not wanting to presume and leaving the final matter up to his boyfriend.

Adam didn’t answer immediately and Kurt felt himself biting his lower lip, wondering if this was just a step too far and Adam was having doubts. Trying to think of a way to backtrack, Adam’s answer was everything he could have hoped for.

“Well, I do know someone who wouldn’t mind getting a roommate,” Adam chuckled. “If you don’t mind close quarters, that is.”

Kurt smiled, feeling a surge of warmth running through him. “Not at all,” he assured his boyfriend. “Though I wouldn’t be averse to finding something with a bit more space at some point.”

“I think that we could work something out,” Adam assured him. “I’m not going to lie… this made me very happy, darling.”

Kurt could practically hear him smiling over the phone. “Me too,” he insisted. “We’ll talk more… get some real plans…”

“That sounds wonderful,” Adam said brightly, his happiness readily apparent in his voice. “I wish that I could come over there right now, but…”

“I’ll see you tonight,” Kurt chuckled. “We’ll meet you at… how about eight?”

“That sounds perfect,” Adam agreed. “I’d better get going, sweetheart. I promised my folks to take them sightseeing a little later.”

“Have a good time,” Kurt ordered playfully. “Call me if you need a rescue.”

Hanging up the phone, Kurt found himself unable to hide the bright smile on his face. He looked down at the city street beneath him, taking in the sights that had become so familiar in the past months. It wouldn’t be long before he would have a new environment to settle into and make his own. A new neighborhood would become his and he’d discover the best pizza shops and take out places.

His life was continuing to expand and change. There was no way for him to know where he would finally end up, but for the first time in many years he was happy where he was and excited about what the future might hold for him.

* * *

Tina and Artie were happy to tag along to Callbacks, having no other plans and wanting to see where many of the theater students in New York hung out. Kurt had to admit that while he still had some misgivings about their presence, it was fun to see them showing the same wide-eyed astonishment as he had that places like this actually existed and weren’t just things that they might see on television. After being so insulated and isolated in Lima, New York was going to be a wonderful awakening to the both of them.

Adam and his parents were already there when they arrived and his boyfriend greeted Kurt with a sound kiss. Ellie quickly grabbed Kurt away from him, hugging him to her breast and making it clear that she had no intention of relinquishing him before she had to.

“Mum… seriously?” Adam sighed, trying to coax her into releasing his boyfriend.

“Sweetheart, he just got here,” her husband admonished playfully, amused at her antics. “Give the boy a chance to settle in.”

“No! We’re leaving tomorrow and I need my time with him because who knows when we’ll see him again,” Ellie complained, keeping her grip on Kurt. He was all but sitting in her lap. She turned to her son and complained, “I mean, you both might even break up and I’ll never see him again!”

“Mum… please…”

She pouted teasingly, and finally released Kurt was clear reluctance. “All right… here you go. But you have to promise that you’ll sing for us!” she ordered. “We haven’t heard you once the whole time we were here.”

“I promise,” Kurt said sincerely, unable to keep the amused smile off of his face. He let Adam pull him back, as if Adam needed to check him for injury or fingerprints.

“Well, now that my parents have totally embarrassed me, let me introduce everyone,” Adam sighed dramatically. “These lovely ladies are Rachel and Santana, Kurt’s roommates.”

“And these are some friends of ours from Ohio,” Kurt explained, introducing Artie and Tina. “They’re both going to be coming to school in New York in September.”

Ellie nodded graciously, taking her husband’s hand. “It’s lovely to meet all of you.”

They pushed the two tables the Crawfords had reserved together squeezed in a few extra chairs, mindful about making space for Artie. Tina looked about the crowded room in awe. “It’s so crowded here,” she noted.

“It’s not too unusual for a weeknight,” Kurt advised her. “Lots of students, lots of office workers looking for a few drinks and free entertainment before going home. It can be a lot of fun.”

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. “And we get to try out different material and arrangements. Sometimes it’s nice just to sing when we know we aren’t going to be graded. I leaned that from someone very special.” She turned a fond look to Kurt and gave his hand a squeeze.

“This sounds great,” Artie said agreeably.

Adam made sure that Kurt was sitting closer than was probably entirely necessary, even with the close confines, least his mother try to steal him away. “Well, before we start with the musical merry making, Kurt and I have some news,” he informed his parents. “He’s agreed to move in and share my humble abode with me.”

“Until we find a bigger apartment,” Kurt clarified.

Adam’s mother seemed stunned at the news, her mouth dropping open in surprise. “Oh dear… you’re not fibbing, are you?” she asked. “You shouldn’t get my hopes up like this.”

Adam shook his head, holding Kurt close. “No, Mum. It’s something we’ve discussed but now the stars have aligned in our favor. But more to the point, we’re both ready to take this step.”

The older woman’s eyes began to glimmer as their news sunk in. “Boys, I’m so happy for the both of you,” she insisted happily, clasping her hands together in front of her.

“This calls for a celebration,” Adam’s father proclaimed. He quickly checked the wine list on the table and waved a hostess over. “Can you bring us two bottles of the Perrier Jouet?”

“Dad, you don’t have to do that,” Adam started, only to be cut off by his father hand waving away his protests.

“Nonsense. We have a lot to commemorate here. Your graduation, the two of you moving on with your lives. These two coming to New York to start school in the fall…” Peter gestured at Artie and Tina. “This should be celebrated.”

“I’m glad you’re both so happy about this,” Kurt mused. “Because my dad is going take a lot of convincing. At least Carole will take our side until he calms down.”

Peter Crawford chuckled warmly, amused at the despondent look on his son’s face at the prospect of an overprotective in-law to deal with. “He’s out to defend your virtue?” he joked.

“Papa bear is a little late for that,” Santana snarked, her dark eyes shimmering will ill-hidden amusement. “Not with the way these two keep us up some nights.”

Rachel couldn’t help from giggling at Kurt’s sharp stare at their friend, knowing better than to add her own commentary about lost sleep and keeping her mouth shut.

“I think that I’m going add my name to the sign up list,” Kurt proclaimed, hoping to change the subject from his sex life. He looked to his boyfriend. “Do you want me to add you?”

“I already did so, love,” Adam answered, his thumb rubbing at Kurt’s hand soothingly. Santana never failed to get Kurt’s hackles up with her sharp barbs. “You go ahead.”

Kurt nodded and turned to his roommates. “You two coming? Or do you plan to sit here all night and chuckle at my expense?” he teased.

Rachel nodded and got up. “I’m not passing up on a chance to sing.”

“And I need to practice some stuff for work,” Santana added.

With the trio heading towards the bar to put their names on the list to perform, Adam tried to make small talk to keep his parents occupied and make the newcomers feel welcome. He couldn’t help from glancing over to where Kurt and his girls were debating song choices, offering and rejecting suggestions with a lot of smiles and laughter. He couldn’t help from smiling at the sight of his lover looking so happy and at ease with himself.

His smile didn’t go unnoticed and he felt a slender hand touch his arm. “Adam? Can I speak with you for a moment?” Tina requested softly. “I just need a minute.”

Adam wondered what was on her mind. His interactions with her at the wedding were limited, but he remembered how wrapped up she was with Blaine and had made Kurt very uncomfortable. He tried not to think badly of her but the last thing he would tolerate was his Kurt being abused.

Kurt hadn’t seemed terribly bothered by her presence, if not overly warm, so he could assume that they’d made some sort of peace. It wouldn’t cost him anything to hear her out. Turning to his parents, he said, “Tina and I will be right back. Don’t let them start without us.”

The young girl followed him to a quiet spot by the coat room and he turned to face her. “So… you and Kurt have patched things up between the two of you?” he asked.

“I apologized to him,” she assured him. “There was no excusing my behavior and I’m hoping that one day we’ll be the kind of friends we were before he left Ohio.

“But I also wanted to apologize to you as well. I behaved so badly and so disrespectfully, and I just wanted you to know how sorry I am.”

Adam blinked in surprise, having not expected that. “That’s…. quite a surprise,” he claimed. “I mean, I don’t remember us speaking very much, if at all.”

Tina just shrugged. “I still felt that I owed you an apology too. I didn’t behave well towards you or Kurt, and I wasn’t respectful of your relationship. I thought that Kurt owed Blaine another chance and I was really rude to him. I just wanted you to know that I do understand just how wrong I was and that I will never do that to Kurt again.”

He had to give her credit for having the courage to admit her mistakes and to make the effort to approach him. “That’s very mature of you, Tina,” he complimented sincerely. “And so long as things are well between you and Kurt, I won’t have any issues.”

The young woman smiled and for the first time Adam could see the pretty, shy girl that Kurt had described to him. “Thanks. But I do want to get to know you too,” she insisted. “You’re so important to Kurt and I want to see if we can try to be friends too. Because I know I didn’t show it, but he means so much to me.”

Adam felt himself nodding, willing to give her that. “I think we can manage that. That would make Kurt happy, that I got along with his friends.”

“That’s important to me too,” Tina insisted. “I already hurt him more than I ever thought I could and the last thing I’d ever want is to do that again.”

Adam gave her a smile. “Well, you know Kurt at least as well as I do. Give him a bit of time and I’m sure that you’ll have the chance to really win back his trust.”

Adam knew that would not be an easy task for Tina, as Kurt did not give back trust so quickly once it was broken. Kurt had been very hurt by Tina’s behavior, but Adam knew that he was also fair minded. If Tina proved herself, in time, Kurt would be able to really forgive her mistakes and move past them. He just hoped that she wouldn’t expect too much too quickly.

She nodded and gave him a thankful smile. “I really appreciate this,” she said softly.

“It’s quite all right, love,” he assured her kindly. “Let’s head back before they wonder if we’ve run off together.”

“Oh no… I’m not giving Kurt any other reason to be upset with me,” she chuckled a little tearfully. With a gentle hand to her back, Adam lead her back to their table where the waitress was setting out two buckets of ice and expertly opening up the bottles that his father had ordered.

Kurt and his girls had returned by then and his boyfriend looked up at their approach. “Where were you two?” he asked.

“Oh, I was just showing Tina where the facilities are,” Adam said quickly, allowing the young girl to keep her dignity and not answer uncomfortable questions right there. He accepted a glass of sparkling wine from the waitress.

Once everyone had been served, his father raised his glass in toast. “All of you are embarking on wonderful new phases of your lives,” he said. “I wish you all good fortune, good health and much happiness. Cheers.”

The group answered him back before sampling the wine and Kurt’s eyes opened a bit at the tart bubbles that danced over his tongue. He hadn’t really enjoyed champagne the few times he’d had it, finding it too dry and acidic for his tastes. This vintage was much better, with just enough sweetness to balance out the tartness and he realized that really good champagne was well worth enjoying when he had the opportunity. Or maybe it was just the company that made the wine sweeter.

The evening progressed pleasantly, with the group making small talk and discussing plans for the summer. Kurt felt a bit more at least with the presence of the younger students, and Artie and Tina asked if they minded the two of them visiting before the school term started in the fall. They wanted a chance to explore a bit more of the city and reconnect the friendships that had faded from time and distance.

Kurt found himself unable to begrudge them that chance and invited them to come see Adam and him perform at the festival. That got Rachel insisting that the younger students come see Santana and her perform at the piano bar and before Artie and Tina knew it, they had a full social calendar planned out.

They settled in to enjoy the musical entertainment, and Kurt saw that NYADA was well represented by the performers that night. There were several familiar faces in the crowd that he and Rachel waved to and it felt good to support their fellows in even as casual an environment as this. Given the careers that they had chosen, competition would be a regular feature in their lives and to have a refuge like this reminded them that performing could just be for fun too. That just because it would be their jobs, they didn’t want to lose their passion for it.

Rachel and Santana had elected to do a duet together, their voices balancing one another out beautifully in a gorgeous rendition of “Some Things Are Meant to Be” from Little Women. Kurt closed his eyes, leaning into Adam and just taking pleasure in hearing his friends do what they were best at. The girls finished to rousing applause and cheers from an appreciative audience and they returned to the table a little breathless and all but glowing with happiness.

When Kurt’s name was called, he gave his lover a coy wink before stepping up to the piano.

“Wow… those two are a tough act to follow,” he said, complimenting his friends, who applauded him loudly. Kurt smiled at them and then addressed the audience. “I was asked quite awhile ago if I had a song in mind for a certain someone in my life. I admitted to a few, and that one day I would sing one of them to him.

“Adam… wherever our lives take us, nothing will change how much you’ve come to mean to me. And help shape me into who I am today.”

Kurt nodded to the pianist, who began to play the music Kurt had selected. He thought that people might be surprised by his choice, but to him nothing else fit Adam better.

“Cold late night so long ago, when I was not so strong, you know. A pretty man came to me. Never seen eyes so blue.”

That was the first thing Kurt always thought about when he thought of Adam after their first meeting. Sure, Adam was handsome in a way that took Kurt’s breath, and had a beautifully fit body. But it was those gentle blue eyes alight with humor and kindness that had gotten Kurt to unclench enough to seek out the Apples and listen to that ridiculous song. Despite not knowing Adam at all, Kurt found himself trusting the older man and wanting to know more about him.

“I could not run away. It seemed we’d seen each other in a dream,” Kurt sang, letting a little bit of heat color his voice. “It seemed like he knew me. He looked right through me… yeah…

“’Come on home, boy,’ he said with a smile.” Kurt made a teasing, beckoning gesture, as much to lure Adam as it was to reflect the pull he’d felt those months ago. “You don’t have to love me yet. Let’s get high awhile.”

And that had been the best part of the early phase of their relationship, Kurt realized. Adam might have been attracted to him, but he didn’t ask for any more than Kurt was willing and able to give. Had Kurt only wished for his friendship, Adam would have made himself satisfied with that. After being so relentlessly pressured by Blaine since Kurt ended things with him, it was a novelty to just enjoy the time he shared with Adam.

“But try to understand… Try, try, try to understand… I'm a magic man.’”

He saw the instant that his friends realized what he was implying and Adam’s face colored at the realization that this was how Kurt saw him. Kurt didn’t think that any of his friends had ever heard him sing such a blatantly sexual song. Santana turned a smile that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a shark to the Englishman, giving him a playful nudge. Rachel was positively beaming and grabbing at Adam’s hand while Adam’s parents were watching in delight.

Kurt closed his eyes, thinking back to those early days in their relationship when he was still struggling to figure things out. The scars from his relationship with Blaine were still fresh and bleeding, but he had so much pleasure with Adam, who accepting their relationship on whatever grounds Kurt was content to set. They started off as friends, but the relationship quickly deepened and before Kurt knew it, he couldn’t imagine his life without that smiling, gentle man at his side.

“Winter nights we sang in tune, played inside the months of moon,” he sang, remembering those blissful early easy days, when classes might be cancelled because of snow and he found himself ensconced in the warm confines of the loft with Adam. Music and play began to bind them together and Kurt’s bruised heart began to heal. “Never think of never. Let this spell last forever.

“Well summer lover, passed to fall,” Kurt crooned, seeing that as the seasons passed, their relationship deepened and matured. “Tried to realize it all. Papa says he’s worried. Growing up in a hurry. Yeah…”

His father hadn’t been as enthusiastic about Kurt’s new relationship, concerned that his son was biting off more than he could chew by getting involved with someone several years his senior and light-years ahead if Blaine in regards to maturity. With Kurt living away from home, he wasn’t in a position to monitor Kurt’s relationships and finding his son involved with an older, more seasoned man had been a challenge for him to deal with.

“’Come on home, boy’ Daddy cried on the phone. ‘Too soon to lose my baby yet, my boy should be at home’.”

Kurt had long since accepted that his father’s over-protectiveness was not something that would likely ever go away completely. He could be forty years old, with a mantle covered with acting awards and a flock of his own children at his feet and he’d still be Burt Hummel’s little boy. That was something that just wasn’t ever going to change.

“But try to understand. Try to understand. Try, try, try to understand. He's a magic man, Daddy,” he proclaimed. “Ahhh… He's a magic man.”

Adam was indeed magic to him. Gentle and loving and supportive; more than willing to be a partner to him but not afraid of Kurt’s less charming qualities. He could stand up to Kurt and challenge him without belittling him the way Blaine did. Kurt felt like he could be his best self, not try to be something that he wasn’t.

“’Come on home, boy’ He said with a smile.” Kurt looked to Adam, letting his love for this man shine in his eyes. “’I cast my spell of love on you, a grown man from a child’.

“But try to understand. Try to understand! Ohh ohh! Try, try to understand!” His voice rode on the music, totally giving in to showing his love and passion for his boyfriend. “Try, try, try to understand! He's a magic man!

“Oh yeah…. Ohhh… He’s got magic hands….”

The audience hooted and applauded and Kurt couldn’t resist giving a little shimmy of his shoulders, winking at Adam. The older man just grinned, his cheeks bright with color because Kurt just proclaimed to everyone in the club that he rocked Kurt’s world on a regular basis. Tina’s mouth was drawn tight as she struggled not to giggle and Artie just shook his head in bemusement.

Kurt returned to the table to a round of applause from his friends and the Crawfords and his boyfriend giving him a wry smile. “That was very naughty of you,” he reprimanded playfully, giving Kurt a swat to his bottom before he could sit down.

Kurt wasn’t at all apologetic. “I just wanted to show what I feel about you,” he insisted, giving Adam his most innocent expression.

“So now the world knows that I have ‘magic hands’. That wasn’t exactly something my parents need to know.”

Kurt wasn’t at all apologetic, content to nestle in his boyfriend’s arms as they enjoyed the rest of the evening. He’d said what he needed to and was content to just enjoy the company of those around him. He felt Adam’s hand stroke his hair and his boyfriend’s lips pressing a kiss to his temple.

Several hours later found him in Adam’s bed, curled up around his sleeping lover. He’d elected to spend the night with Adam so he could see the Crawfords off the next day. In the dim light peeking through the binds, Kurt watched Adam sleep, his handsome face slack in repose as he slept soundly. Kurt just smiled as he looked down at Adam’s face.

Maybe later, he’d take some time to think about all the momentous changes his life had undergone in the past few months. How he had changed and grown. He would look back upon his life and see the long progression of events, good and bad, that lead him to this place.

But not now. For now, Kurt just wanted to savor the moment of peace and security he felt. The past and the future would take care of themselves. Right now, he just needed to be. And to breathe.

**FIN**

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season five, episode fourteen: so... sandoval’s committed to that hairstyle, eh?

I AM DEAD FROM THE GET GO.

KATIE FUCKED UP THE WEDDING INVITATIONS.

KATIE DONE FUCKED UP THE WEDDING INVITES, Y’ALL.

She spent $18.50 on each one of those “tea towels”/dish rags/thing you use to pick up bugs you’ve crushed under books that she’s trying to fool us all into thinking are chic1 and she forgot to put a space for people’s names on the RSVP, so the entire opening of the show is a damn guessing game as to who’s attending their wedding. Katie also wears a bandana that just reminds me of Avril Lavigne, and we get a little talk about how each of the Toms draws their respective penises.

Kristen comes in, and it’s time to rehash the events of HRH DJ James Kennedy’s show, and Kristen pretty much admits she went there to start shit. She calls it “eat popcorn and watch fireworks”, but she very clearly and very obviously went there for a) camera time and b) to rile up a person who is easily riled. I HATE DEFENDING JAMES. The conversation transitions quickly to Scheana, and how they all feel like since she and Ariana are friendly again, she’s begun distancing herself from the rest of them. Do you blame her, though? Y’all are terrible to her and only treat her with a modicum of decency when you need someone on your side. Katie still has an issue with the way Ariana treated Stassi at the Drunken Painting Event2 and honestly, shows some hilarious hypocrisy here. I mean, it’s Katie, so that’s to be expected. She says Ariana needs to “fall in line”, like she’s fucking Stassi from 2013. Tom mentions that they should all settle their beef before they go to New Orleans, but it doesn’t even matter about Ariana because she’ll be hanging out with the guys, primarily. Katie pretty much is like, “Well, if she doesn’t want to get along with everyone, I don’t want her there or at the wedding.” GIRL PLEASE YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT HER IN YOUR WEDDING PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE, it’s not Ariana’s obligation to want to hang out with you.

Speaking of Ariana, it’s officially time for the Why Does Lisa Vanderpump Need To Know This segment of the episode, featuring Jax “I Barely Survived Prohibition” Taylor, and … Scheana. Apparently Tom Sandoval is re-entering the modeling world, and Ariana’s baffled by the idea of dating a male model. Ariana is officially Christine Taylor’s character from Zoolander, a connection I’m shocked it took me this long to make. Jax pretends that he was there to see James perform, and remains wonderfully aloof. He pretty much admits - yeah, he’s going to make James’s life hell simply because he doesn’t like him. Jax Taylor, who is 80, is going after a 25 year old man because he just doesn’t like him. What is WRONG with these people?

God, I love this soap opera.

Tom&Tom head over to Joe Simpson[^3]’s house for a photoshoot - WHAT? - because Tom needs photos for an agency to prove that he’s still got what it takes to be America’s Next Top Model3. They talk about Katie and Ariana, and basically agree that what’s going on between them is bullshit, but neither side backs down - except Sandoval, just slightly, by telling Schwartz he’ll talk to Ariana about being more polite. I watched the photoshoot through my fingers, because photoshoots on reality TV are notoriously awkward. I can’t keep my eyes off Tom’s lace front. I don’t even want to mention Joe Simpson. Isn’t Tom like, 10 years older than Joe Simpson’s target demographic?

This show becomes more and more like Zoolander every time I watch it.

James and his doll with dying batteries/girlfriend Raquel go to Bruhaus and sit outside and somehow they have a waitress with a voice as annoying as Raquel’s. James and Raquel talk about the previous night’s events, and Raquel makes him promise that he’s been faithful to her, which he does, and we all know that’s a crock. This will come back to us at some point. I spent this entire scene yelling RAQUEL LET YOUR WORDS OUT PLEASE. She admits that she has a hard time trusting him when she’s up at school, and he doesn’t do the best job of convincing her of such.

Jax and Brittany decide to go to church, and I’m shocked Jax doesn’t go up in flames upon entering a church. Everything I know about religion I learned from Sister Act and Dogma, so I just assume when fallen angels go into a church, it brings on the end of humanity4. Jax wears a suit, pretends he knows how to be a decent person, and asks what frankincense is. It’s something you could use instead of steroids, Jax. How about that? At church, they’re celebrating anger and preaching about taking accountability for your actions towards others. Brittany, who doesn’t know what “irony” is, points out how ironic it is that Jax is here on this day. How timely! Jax hopes going to church one time will be enough to get Brittany and her mom on his side again, because moving a girl across the country and getting angry that she adapted to her surroundings is equivalent to going to church one time.

Stassi’s at her mom’s house in Lake Arrowhead, where she’s helping her after her full hysterecto5 and making her disgusting breakfast. Her mom is happy because it means Stassi will finally have to take care of someone besides herself for once. Nikolai, Stassi’s little brother, lets Katie in and is immediately going to Nikolai for advice. It’s so weird they’re going to a 12 year old for advice, but Stassi is rightful to feel guilty for separating Nikolai and Patrick after their breakup. Letting anyone into your life is hard, and letting them get close to those you love is harder because all relationships are delicate and can end at any time. Stassi admits that she needs to be alone for a bit, and Nikolai doesn’t 100% understand that. Stassi sobs, and Nikolai comforts her - something I’m pretty sure he’s used to. Very, very used to.

Sandoval and James go and get tea6 and discuss the Night At The Redbury shenanigans - James thinks it’s flattering that GG wants to go out of her way to prove they slept together, and continues to deny it happened, even though Tom is like “dude, it happened. Just admit it.” It really does seem like it happened. James is the anti-Jax: he refuses to admit truths about himself, but is more than happy to perpetuate lies about other people. James is such garbage.

Peter/Ray Romano is producing an eight-minute short sci-fi film, because he’s convinced that for some reason, anyone will give him $100 million for a first feature7, even if it is a sci-fi one. Tom Sandoval is involved, of course, because this episode should really be called Tom Sandoval Is A Hustler Like Lisa Rinna. They put Tom Sandoval in front of a green screen in broad daylight and basically wrap him in fabric the way I did at every toga party I went to in college.8 He can barely get his lines correct, and he’s hoping this will lead to Peter being the next James Cameron and making the next Avatar. Please, god, no. Do we need another Blue Dances With Wolves? I know we’re getting Blue Fern Gully 2 and Blue Pocahontas 3 in a few years, but I don’t think Peter’s going to be James Cameron. It’s a wrap, and Ariana and Tom get to talking. Ariana doesn’t give any fucks about Katie being worried about her behavior, and doesn’t see anything worth apologizing for, which she doesn’t. Tom advises her to be a little nicer in her delivery, and Ariana says she’s not one to sugarcoat. And neither am I.9

We’re at Villa Rosa, where Scheana is meeting with Pandora10 and Lisa Vanderpump, where they’ve come to raid for booze for Katie’s bridal shower? Didn’t they just have one of those for her? Anyway, Pandora’s throwing it. Scheana immediately starts throwing shade about Katie’s attitude, which both Pandora and Lisa try to write off as just “bridal jitters”, and Scheana’s like, “nah, that doesn’t give you the right to be an absolute monster.” I’m gonna get vertigo with how much this show wants me to flip flop on these people, I swear. Lisa doesn’t understand why Katie’s being so mean to Scheana, and waves a dog around for the entirety of this exchange. She must have the strongest arms in the world.

Schwartz meets with the rest of the grooms...people? I don’t know what to call them since Ariana’s there, so I’ll just say “groomsmen” for the sake of it all. They order Jameson picklebacks11 and beers and decide they’re going to go full drag for a night, because they want to know if they would have sex with themselves if they were woman. Jax is game, but only if he can be a SuicideGirl type, which to me, is horrific. Tom denies any homoeroticism between any of the guys, and we’re greeted with a lovely montage of Jax humping men, Jax dressed as a cowboy, Jax snuggling with the Toms. Nothing homoerotic about it, right? Schwartz brings up what went down between Ariana and Stassi, and basically says Stassi was super upset and Ariana was too harsh. Ariana doesn’t think she should apologize - again, because she shouldn’t - but does agree to go to Stassi and try to smooth things over.

Pandora’s house looks like Dirk Diggler’s house in Boogie Nights, but she’s set up a great spread for Katie’s second bridal shower. Stassi basically looks like she’s about to shit herself with Ariana arrives, but they go to ooh and ahh over Pandora’s house that Lisa Vanderpump clearly paid for. Y’all - this is what happens when you both have rich parents and are responsible with your money. Oh, this is a “spa day” party, that’s the theme. They’re getting massages. I want a fucking massage. Meanwhile, Ariana, Stassi, Pandora, get glycolic hand peels whilst Katie, Kristen, and Brittany get massages. Scheana tries to smooth things over between Ariana and Stassi, which leads to Ariana having my favorite line of the night:

Stassi: “She’s the one that doesn’t like me.” [Ariana and Stassi both laugh]

Ariana (in her talking head): “I’m laughing because it’s funny, and it’s funny because it’s true.”

Scheana wants Ariana to apologize, and both Ariana and Stassi don’t want an apology because they both know it would be disingenuous. Stassi knows Ariana doesn’t like her, and she just doesn’t want Ariana to make it so obvious when they’re around each other - not a crazy request. Ariana agrees to have a more open mind and that she just wants to have fun. They both just want to have fun, so shit seemed smooth with the two of them.

The ladies sit down to a gorgeous lunch, and Katie of course rekindles the argument that was just settled. Stassi and Ariana both admit to not wanting apologies, and Katie gets all passive-aggressive and basically says “It would make me feel better if you just apologized.” She throws her wedding around and “can’t stand to have negativity around” during that time. Girl, have you looked at yourself and your life and your choices? Scheana is pissed off because she tried to smooth things over between Stassi and Ariana for Katie, and Katie’s still unhappy with the results, even though Stassi and Ariana are. Katie mentions how upset she was that Scheana told her about the bridal shower drama, and that she feels like Scheana’s pulling away from her, and Scheana’s like “Well, I’m tired of waking up to abusive text messages from you every morning.” Katie then sums up both herself and why she’s terrible in one line: “It’s harsh, it’s mean, it’s my truth.” She then says she’s tired of being called insubordinate, which is the correct term, but still feels wrong in this context. Scheana tries to point out that Katie’s a mean drunk and is basically being gaslit in the worst way. Katie refuses to take accountability and basically is like “Why can’t I be mean when I’m drunk if you deserve it?” and says people are calling Scheana fake, anyway, so what does it matter. What this boils down to is Katie is pissed that Scheana can take the high road while Katie remains going low constantly, and Katie calls that Scheana trying to be “perfect". Katie just wants everyone to go for the jugular when it comes to her, and doesn’t like that Scheana is capable of being a decent person at times. Scheana throws her napkin and runs out, and Pandora is sitting there like “WHY DID I DO THIS?” Scheana, in the bathroom, finally admits what we’ve been saying all along - Katie doesn’t like her, she’s just trying to pad her #GirlSquad for her wedding. Katie claims her wedding events have been tainted by assholes (herself) and tries to sound like the fucking Godfather when she says “I will fuck you up” if you turn on her. She just sounds like a psychopath.

Katie and Scheana talk about how Scheana feels like she’s always doing something wrong with Katie, and Katie, who locked her Twitter because she couldn’t handle valid criticism, says that she calls people out when they’re wrong, and that it’s okay to call her out. Is that not what Scheana was just doing? They kiss and make up, and it’s sad because Katie is a garbage bag full of toenail clippings and Scheana just wants to be on television.

Jax goes to meet Lisa in the Sexy Unique Restaurant to both get paid and also to ask if the boys can borrow gowns from her. She’s horrified, especially at the insinuation she might have costume jewelry, but agrees. The boys head over to Villa Rosa to try on Lisa’s jewelry and underwear. Jax and Sandoval are in AWE over Lisa’s apartment/closet that I am salivating in envy over. Tom Sandoval is putting on every single piece of Lisa’s jewelry, and Jax comes out wearing one of Lisa’s dresses with the neckline down to his bellybutton12. Jax calls Givenchy “Ga-vinch-y”, of course, and Tom wears a bra and the best sunglasses I’ve ever seen. This scene is much less horrific than I thought, considering.

Tom and Katie are out to dinner, and Schwartz is ordering salt-and-vinegar french fries13 and Katie’s ordering tequila on the rocks, as per usual. This is their relationship in a nutshell: potatoes and vodka. Tom’s already wearing his wedding ring, and says he’ll take it off around hot girls, which Katie is unamused by. He asks her how Pandora’s was, and immediately says that Ariana was nervous because of Katie’s reaction to her, and the fact that Tom now has an idea about both sides of the story, and accuses Katie of not being objective. Katie immediately goes on the defense, accuses Tom of taking Ariana’s side and accuses Ariana of casting a shadow over the entire event, and continues to say “It’s my fucking day”, reaffirming the truth - Katie wants to get married to say she got married and to win, not because she’s in love. She cries and calls Ariana self-centered and elitist, which is rich coming from Katie. And Tom calls it as it is: Ariana is more emotionally mature than Katie could ever wish to be, and is self-aware enough to know when something should be settled. Tom loses any support he had from me by passive-aggressively saying “I should have known better than to say anything that doesn’t agree with your opinion.” I get his intention, but he doesn’t have to be so self-loathing about it. Katie does what Katie does and walks out on him AGAIN, and this time he doesn’t run after her. He shouldn’t. Katie really should be ashamed of herself.

Next Week: Katie’s going to explode, Jax doesn’t like the tension, James is back working for Lisa, they get beaded in New Orleans, everyone gets drunk, Katie gets hit in the face with something finally, and Stassi and Jax talk about their relationship.

SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE BACHELOR I PROMISE.

Random Thoughts From The Desk of Amanda:

I really hate that I like the length of Katie’s nails. Like, they’re short but pointy. I want them on me but I don’t want them because Katie has them.

I get that Schwartz, Lisa, and Sandoval hate Stassi, but it really does seem like they all blame Katie’s bad behaviors on her, as if Katie’s incapable of being an asshole otherwise. Nah, she’s always been terrible.

I miss Lala.

Why is Carter a groomsman?

Another “Why Did Tom And Katie Get Married?” theory: the idea of getting your wedding called off on national TV is humiliating, but they really should have called it off at this point in the season.

Kristen’s scary nodding when Katie was like “It’s my day, it’s about me.” Oh my god.

I loved that Jax struggled with “transvestite”. He’s constantly showing his age.

Linguistics joke: I’m really tempted to always call Tom Schwartz “Tommy Schwa”, but using ə as his last name - “Tommy ə”. That is a joke that wouldn’t land.

Katie is probably a Pinterest nightmare. ↩︎

My names are slowly but surely becoming less interesting. ↩︎

Listen to my podcast! ↩︎

Then again, Donald Trump is president, so. Jax, look at what you fucking did. ↩︎

WHY IS THIS SCENE NOT ON YOUTUBE? Happy Endings is the best show you never watched. ↩︎

And from the looks of it, Sandoval pays. LOLOLOLOL. ↩︎

I can hear my boyfriend screaming and laughing, and he’s not even near me as I’m watching this. ↩︎

i.e, with zero finesse or attempt to make it look decent. ↩︎

It is not my obligation to make you feel comfortable. ↩︎

Who is wearing a Boy George hat. Man, he is having a great 2017. ↩︎

Why would you do this to Jameson. ↩︎

The bra is gone! ↩︎

Did you know if you like salt and vinegar, you probably like the taste of blood? ↩︎

[creativesage]

Image: Courtesy of the Edith Lutyens and Norman Bel Geddes Foundation, Harry Ransom Center, The University of Texas at Austin

Book Summary by John Crowley:

The Man Who Designed the Future: Norman Bel Geddes and the Invention of Twentieth-Century America [Author:] B. Alexander Szerlip Melville House, $22.39 (cloth)

Inside every utopia is a dystopia striving to get out. World-changing plans to bring all human life and activity under beneficent control devolve inevitably into regimentation and compulsion. Edenic life-affirming communes descend into chaos and waste. Our presently evolving techutopia has barely reached its peak, and yet in it this horror-movie process has already begun: information must be free, and so lies and manipulations proliferate; common human connections are degraded; limits on power and self-dealing erode. Inequality increases with differential access. And all this in less than a single generation.

The utopian promises of the mid-twentieth century (modernism, broadly understood) stayed alive for longer, largely because its projects, which depended on design, manufacturing processes, materials, and city planning, took years or decades to be fully realized, while the world seemed to stay much the same. In 1939 the greater part of America was still a land of Toonerville trolleys, boarding houses, balky mules, door-to-door salesmen, pump handles, iceboxes, A&P’s, nerve tonics, kerosene, two-bit haircuts, hand-rolled cigarettes, incurable diseases, and patched inner-tubes, even as the idea of the future was brought closer with every newsreel and skyscraper and issue of Life or Look.

While older utopias often were predicated on returning to the virtues of an imagined past, a key figure behind this utopia of the new was Norman Bel Geddes, a theatre designer turned industrial designer. Bel Geddes is best known for designing the General Motors Futurama exhibit at the 1939 New York World’s Fair, a huge and hugely celebrated vision of the world of 1960, full of towering modernist skyscrapers in new cities and lots and lots of cars.

The World's Fair assumed that the future would simply remake us as it came into being.

In a rich, swift, and entrancing new biography, The Man Who Designed the Future, Barbara Alexander Szerlip goes so far as to credit Bel Geddes with the invention of twentieth century America. Credit for that is more commonly ascribed to Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison or Henry Ford, but Szerlip’s claim is justified if by the twentieth century we mean the things, the look, the places, and the occasions of the new. Bel Geddes, as Szerlip shows, invented the new not once but again and again, superficially and radically, in theater and stage design, in the windows of department stores, in appliances, public spaces, tools, and spectacles.

All that kept his projects from wholly burdening the future with the utopian condition of corruption was that many were imaginary, ephemeral, unbuilt or destroyed; the simplest and smallest (a gas range, an electric typewriter, a dance floor) can still inspire the common American nostalgia for the new.

How did he become who he would be?  Szerlip’s first chapters recount an 1890s Midwestern upbringing reminiscent of Orson Welles’s depiction of The Magnificent Ambersons: a huge Victorian house with broad lawns and deep porches, and prize-winning horses with silver-plated harnesses that would soon be replaced by large cars.  The Geddes family was ruled by a grandfather, the judge, and cared for by several servants, including a Native American man named Will de Haw who served as the young Norman’s teacher, groom, handler, and coachman for years. Norman grew up fascinated with Indians: his first major theater spectacle would be a pageant-play about Native American lore.

Norman’s father also seems drawn from a novel of the period: a charming, careless and restless man who after the judge’s death invested the family money unwisely, losing the big house and the prize horses, and who left his family in bad straits to go recoup in businesses elsewhere. He failed and died young, perhaps by suicide.

That is the origin story, and the right one for the work the young Norman set out upon. As a penniless striving illustrator and adman, dreamer of vast theater projects, tinkerer and toymaker, he was so sure of himself that he traveled to New York to pitch his radical idea for stage lighting to the great impresario David Belasco.  Instead of flat overhead lights and footlights, he said, theatres ought to use thousand-watt spotlights, dimmable and in any color, to pick out which part of the stage the audience’s attention should be drawn to; side-lighting should be used to model and heighten actor’s faces. Belasco dismissed the 24-year old novice and his plans and then adopted the idea, advertising it as his own. But do we guess that Norman will be sidelined, driven back to the provinces for good? We do not.

Back in Ohio he meets Helen Belle Schneider, aka Bel, a young school teacher who graduated second in her class at Smith College. Her passions were music and poetry, Szerlip tells us, and more enchanting, she was a master of bird calls. The afternoon they met he kissed her. She was a Methodist (as was his family) and a teetotaler. They were soon partners in the advertising and art business in Toledo, and he added her nickname to his own, becoming Norman Bel Geddes. They married and had two daughters (the youngest, Barbara, became an actress and is likely better known today than her father).

The invention of twentieth century America can be ascribed to Norman Bel Geddes, alongside Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, and Henry Ford.

Lifted by his talents and the times, Bel Geddes leaves the wife and kids and family business in Toledo and goes back to New York, that cosmopolitan realm of endless possibility. The late ‘20s were when his greatest theater successes were made.  Szerlip recounts the epic story of Bel Geddes’s work on the pageant-play The Miracle, produced and directed by Max Reinhardt, for which he turned a large Broadway theater into a Gothic cathedral. Theater-goers entered what appeared to be a “dim, towering 110-foot church, their footsteps echoing on the stone-slabbed aisles (an asbestos composition).”

As they looked for their seats (pews for 3,100 people), priests, sacristans and the occasional worshiper would be moving about lighting candles or counting their beads. The smell of incense would mix with the smell of melting wax. The only illumination, beyond the candles (more than 800) and faux candles (834), would be brilliant shafts of artificial sunlight, punctuating the sacred gloom through three dozen Bel Geddes-designed stained glass windows—ranging from 40 to 80 feet in height, made of thin 10,000-square-foot sheets of muslin stretched and painted to appear semitransparent when lit from behind.

The numbers are impressive even now. Costs exceeded a half-million in 1928 dollars, or some five million in today’s. And it was a vast, long-lasting, wildly-praised, continent-touring hit. From then on producers interested in high-risk innovative spectacles counted on Bel Geddes to bring them in successfully.

Keeping up with Bel Geddes’s meteoric rise tests Szerlip’s considerable storytelling skills; the sensational anecdotes and sidebars come so fast that they clamber over one another, sometimes falling out of order. Often she has to backtrack from Bel Geddes designing a car or a stove to Bel Geddes in the theater or remaking a corporate boardroom. The book is crowded with detail and managed seemingly on the fly, as the man’s projects often were. It is dizzying and highly accomplished fun.

Bel Geddes triumphed with innovative designs even for forgettable or trivial plays; every opening night was packed with the worlds of art and wit and money. Szerlip carries her subject through 1920s Manhattan with so many famous names dropped that the reader risks a slip-and-fall. “In the course of an afternoon,” Szerlip tells us, “he met William and Lucius Beebe, Nelson Doubleday, Alva Johnston, cartoonists Don Marquis and Rube Goldberg, photographer Arnold Genthe, Broadway producer Gilbert Miller, conductor Walter Damrosch, painter Rockwell Kent and the Prime Minister of Australia.” She makes time for a thrilling recap of Bel Geddes’s minutes-long affair with the diarist Anais Nin after a night in the Harlem nightclubs he loved. (He was a great dancer.)

It is all swift and smart and charming, and by the time it turns darker with the Depression, Bel Geddes has not yet thought about inventing the future. That would come when he put aside the immense career he had built in theater and popular art and turned instead to designing places and things of use to the new world coming to be: things and places that would themselves be that new world.

What would come to be called industrial design was chiefly the province of engineers and architects, and Bel Geddes was neither. He certainly engineered things that he needed for his projects, and he designed spaces and places, but he was forced to add a line to his contracts stating that he and his firm were not architects. His talent was imagination—not only imagining how something should look, but why, and for what purpose, and how it could be made to serve that purpose.

Bel Geddes designed the places and things that would themselves constitute the new world.

One of Szerlip’s most revealing stories is of the remake of the Standard Gas Equipment company’s household gas range in 1930. Bel Geddes refused to simply remake the look of their stodgy product. He started from the beginning, sending out a team of investigators to ask people, especially women, what they would like to see in a new stove and what their complaints were about the old one. The result was what we still think of as a stove. SGE ranges had fixed oven racks; Bel Geddes made them slide out, for obvious reasons. He saw that the floor beneath a black enameled cabinet standing on legs like a bureau would get filthy and could be cleaned only on hands and knees; his would be flush with the floor, as they all are now. His design was white, with gleaming curved sides and bands of chrome that signified new, sleek, and fast—streamlined, in other words.

Streamlining, which would forever be associated with the industrial and commercial design of the period, began as a set of guidelines meant to reduce air and water resistance (drag on planes and cars and ships). It also imparted to objects an inherent yet gratuitous beauty that entranced people and designers alike, the very essence of new. The style rarely achieved the goals set for it (1930s cars and trains did not travel fast enough to be affected very much by air resistance), but it persisted as pure style, as signifier. And the look could be applied to anything. “Before long,” Szerlip notes, “there were streamlined radios, typewriters, and Chippewa potatoes (the ‘absence of deep eyes reduces waste in peeling and also speeds up the job for the housewife’), streamlined financial cutbacks, weight loss programs, inkwells and coffins.” We now had a word we did not know we needed, for uses we did not expect would arise. But the greatest efflorescence of applications for it came in the 1939 New York World’s Fair, the site of Bel Geddes’s best-known triumph. 

       The 1939 fair was conceived by what might be called practical utopians. That is, it was an enclosed space where new and better modes of life could be shown to be possible and workable. It was as much prescription as prediction. Social theorists, businessmen, and academics were recruited to educate the public in the industrialized, communitarian, engineered world that was sure to come—the world of tomorrow, as the slogans promised. They urged exhibitors not to simply show their goods and services, but to show the processes by which they were made, the worldwide trade in commodities they depended on, and the advances in cybernetics and administration they would bring about.

This got international businesses excited, and a lot of exhibitors not only invested hugely in educational displays—it was effectually the start of the modern audio-visual instruction mode—but also looked into the future, showing robots, simulated voyages to the moon, flying cars, streamlined everything. Bel Geddes’s Futurama within the General Motors exhibit hall (which he also designed) was the culmination. GM was set to redo the show they had built for the 1933 Chicago fair: an animated diorama of an assembly line, showing Chevys being put together. But—as in a scene from a movie of the period—Bel Geddes took a night flight to Detroit to meet with GM’s management and argue for something much grander. “What if the goal,” Szerlip recounts, “was to have the public wedded to GM’s ‘vision,’ and to make that vision so attractive and accessible that the average Jack and Jill would have a hard time imagining a future apart from it?” It is made more cinematic by Szerlip’s visual effects, with stuffy executives from central casting and the Old Man (in this case Alfred Sloan, chairman of the board) arising at last to anoint the brash optimist. Who’s to say it didn’t happen exactly as Bel Geddes, and Szerlip, tell it?

The Futurama not only talked about the future, it was the future. Bel Geddes, like a mad father setting up the world’s biggest train set for his kids, let people see the year 1960 in busy moving detail. Some 50,000 miniature streamlined cars traveled on miniature multilane highways like none that had then been built (buses and trains were, for obvious reasons, not emphasized). In that future America, the past had been scrubbed away. Not even farms and orchards were the same, and Bel Geddes’s towers and ports and highways arose without any reference to the past. It posed, without actually asking, the great question that utopias are never quite able to solve: how do we get from this flawed and hurtful world we live in, and the flawed and confused people we are, to the rational and cooperative world we want? The Futurama and the fair assumed that the future would simply remake us as it came into being, so that we could profit from its wonders—that the wonders would make the people, rather than the other way around.

The utopian visions of the World’s Fair were deliberately conceived in opposition not only to the wounded and weary America of the Depression, but to alternative utopian visions that were then making great strides around the world. Nazi Germany had no pavilion at the fair, though it was very much present in spirit. Lewis Mumford, author of The City in History and one of the initial planners of the fair, had envisioned the World of Tomorrow as a school for democracy, an education for visitors in taking charge of their world and their future. The new sciences and technologies, manufacturing processes, communications and social organization had to be understood, he argued, in order to be useful and successful for all, or for as many as possible.

But Mumford ended up disappointed in the fair as built. It simply asserted the “completely tedious and unconvincing belief” in the triumph of modern industry. “The less said about that today, the better,” he wrote at the time. The fair was still receiving millions of visitors when the German army invaded Poland, initiating a new world war only twenty-five years after the first began. The world had not only failed to learn the right lessons, it seemed to have internalized the wrong ones.

Bel Geddes should perhaps be included with the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Orson Welles as 'a kind of magnificent failure.'

Bel Geddes spent the war years working on projects for the military, both ones they asked him for, such as better camouflage, and his own ideas, like a remote-controlled Television Bombing Plane (early television had been a big draw at the 1939 fair). But his great interest was the car. In a glamorous 1940 photo-book, Magic Motorways, he envisioned the American highway system, complete with multiple lanes and on-and-off ramps. The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened its first stretch that very year, but it wasn’t until 1956 that the Interstate Highway System was officially established. When it was, it was as much the offspring of Bel Geddes’s Futurama and the dominance of the car as it was a result of the bomb and the need for a rapid-response national defense.

Of course, the unintended ramifications of that long project include large components of air pollution and climate change, the slow death of public transportation, the erosion of cities and Main Street, and the sprawling expansion of a peacetime military. The challenge of changing the dystopia we find ourselves in now, again, is stupefying.

But just because a utopia is unattainable in practice—“unattainable” is almost part of the definition—that doesn’t mean the utopian impulse can’t have great power along a different parameter. In an important way it is not different from the general impulse to create imagined worlds that have no larger purpose than to be seen and experienced, in theater, in fiction, on film, in the model-train landscape of tunnels, bridges and stations running endlessly for its own sake.

In this respect it is interesting that in 1964, when a World’s Fair was again held in New York City, General Motors largely recycled the Bel Geddes future it had promised would already be in place by then. The point turned out not to be the future after all, except in the power it granted to the imagination to see it all as possible. The 1939 fair might have been conceived as a training course in living under late capitalism, but time has vacated that purpose and in a sense restored its innocence. It affords now not false promises of easy social progress but—in Vladimir Nabokov’s terms—aesthetic bliss: “that is, a sense of being somehow, somewhere connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm.”

Szerlip’s book has only reached the two-thirds mark when the Futurama is behind her. The last hundred pages are as full as the first two hundred, with new projects, new love affairs, Barbara’s stardom and retreat, more famous names, a plan to put The Miracle on film starring Katherine Hepburn or maybe Greta Garbo—but fewer real accomplishments. When he died, in 1958, on a New York street of a heart attack at the age of sixty-five, Bel Geddes was pretty much broke and on his way to being forgotten. Szerlip, who obviously loves the man, tags him as oxymoronic: “a pacifist fascinated by war, a naturalist who loved technology, a serious prankster, a pragmatic futurist, a private man who was rarely alone.”

Bel Geddes was a practical man. He was an engineer and a maker who worked in the real world of mechanical stresses and materials and mass production and financing. It is impossible to distinguish between what he did to please his paying clients and what he did just because he wanted to see if he could—which is a fair definition of a popular artist—and often enough he could convince magnates and manufacturers that what he wanted to do was exactly what they needed.

Yet his most inspiring projects might be the impossible ones, the gratuitous acts of the imagination: the absurdly vast airliner with ballroom and orchestra, the unrealized theater projects, the flying car and the aerial restaurant. Szerlip wonders if Bel Geddes should be included with the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Orson Welles as “a kind of magnificent failure.” His standing ratio of conceptions realized to those unrealized, after all, was about 50-50. But the gorgeous only-imagined ones defy time and perversion. They obey perforce the greatest single prescription ever laid down for human action: first do no harm.

[Entire article — click on the title link to read it at The Boston Review.]