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solardick · 1 month

Text

Find in mind.

Cards died. Resurrect in time, perhaps.

How am i supposed to

Too smoking while im serrounded by an rntire army of assholes fucken with my exixtance? Whole reason i started smokign in the forst place.

Why you you all go take a picture of your shit in the toilet anf then you can frame it on the wall and impresses all yo friends with how proud you ste to take such a massive dhit.

Instead of trying tp prove how united spsrklings yurds are. Tou gonna come harrass me with another girl. And then rape me some

More?

Terrible on tarots part. It lost that time. No new cards.

So, i dont know what to write about the cards. Save that for temperance letter R and letter 3. Incrementally. They belong together. Pooring water down from the sky. Water is essential. Same is said upwards.

On the russian side of things here. Letter Я. Not to say a mirrored image. For both belong seperatively. Apart from one another. This chosen as Waites sun card, to designate the hilghly biased Letter Ii. Not to be mistaken as Ll. As i’ve seen the hermit. Here would show as The man toiling the feild. To promote the ideal of one with nature. Or yet, to give it to the blacksmith. The ideal, and toil to forge the tools of productivity. To forging the self. Both belong to dedication.

What card did i give letter Bb? In this system card letter Ff is exchanged for Bv. Foreign system. Bbv all get jumbled. To tarot it was… the high priestess. But i gave her to number 3. As letter Cc. Which has its own foreign connection to letter Cs. Which happens to be the devil.

Chew that one over a while.

There’s no equivalent to a mirrored B. Thats forbidden. Top tier shit. The gamers ot that level. Dont like if things dont run smooth.

The high priestess here, comes from foreign land. It’s once removed, literally. 3C. She pictorially becomes the field he’s plowing.

But it looks like they fosed ne again. May nog go to work tomiriw again. Be out of work and. Ack to suicide. Lije i an right now. Dorry i havevto ho foghg for my life now sgain. For the N-th year in a row

And nobody deserves having their entire lives owned by other people. So they can fuck with it at leasure.

But, i like my cards. Olmost time to veeto my legs again. I also like having hairless legs. Im not a hairy guy. But the legs always bothered me. Saw a guy sitting there waiting for his appoitment. Wearing shorts riding up his thies. I was like “ewe”. One of my favorite parts of being with a girl. All those 20 years ago. Was the legs. Soft, smooth, could go down there hickey up the inner thy. Another part was when their tops were removed and they were standing infront of you and all you could see in your feild of vission. Were their bare shoulders riding below rosy cheeks. Mhn.

But apparently. According to others. Im a gay bashing homophobe who throws cats agaisnt walls for fun. How can you be a homophobe when you spent the first 13 years of your life sucking on cock. While tour family plays dumb. And introduces you to bands like Korn. Before you even know what their singing about. Then you grow out of it. Realise whta the fuck your doing. And stop. But all thise years. Bred addiction to the only positive source of feel good brain chemicals. Then you fall off the wagon a couple times and get your entire life destroyed by stupid fucken retards. And then over 26 years later tour still being raped by assholes.

What you an alchoholophobe. Dont want to deink this vodka?! Lets poor it doen yo throat. Well. Not really. Doesnt really compare. But. You get the jist. But ehat do you expect from a society that sells poison on every street corner. One stop shop of gassoline, ornohraphy, sugar, alchohol and cigarettes, from a society that sell turd toys for young children. ….. every child matters right? Bunch of bs that is.

If i ever have a kid. Not likely. They arent going to know what i tv is until they get to highschool. No no no. You’re not going to be in this pot of spectrum disorder. Might as well remove the segregation completly and have bous and girls share the same public restrooms.

But, try and might to see what i can do with the cards. Firmly imprinting an image of the emperor save that its mostly associated to war and not good feeling things. Hardship and taxes. The alternative becomes better. Empress things. Merged with the priestess and the devil.

I woke up gin his morning. Why?

Wonder if they’re ever going to give Russia their land back. Its theirs. They gave it to ukraine. Umarine turned their back on them. And joined nato. So they want their land back.

And yes im still

Smoking. Cause im

Still

In prison.

But crawl back out. Until i get pushed back down. It just echoes. Repeat the same lines. Over because i want to but. The momentum is gone. And its hard to get started. Even without. And unfortunaelty all thats comingout is this sickly crap. And i wonder what the next phase of the plan is next week. How im going to be worked.

Save but, to continue on. Ss Cc Cs.

Let these three groupings, i would say, rest. In your mind. There is t other pairing to make with these. From two to three. Four still comes before. Whats already there. Doubles.

Four is a multiplication from three. For there is two ways to spell a number.

With out its symbol it has little trace. To speak of it with a foreign name.

Let me show you.

_______

Letter three is Cc. Because of the lack of symbols C plays a duel nature. To distinguish, in english Cc varies between Cs And Ck. Whereas C is soft K is sharp. In most cases K is replaced by C. And often K is silent. The letter is weakened by the unspoken and shares time with knowledge.

Letter three is also Bv to distinguish it from english. It isnt Bb. It belongs with two. Theres a little warping involved while pronouncing B and V to their similarity with three. And the letter C.

But Cs is more of a “Ts” sound. And is no where near three as it falls on number eleven. But it does accentuate two separate bodies. And is less divergent than the western counterpart.

Knowledge is power; power corrupts.

As for C and S. stands the virgin priestess. And the devil side by side. Below that perched is the english devil. And above the cartes des dammes etailla death card. A quaternity of feminine sexuality. Innocence tied to will and bondage.

There is also another pairing with the empress card who from the foundation up serves for number three. This also changed position with the qwerty system, from a lack for what to call it, and was given to letter D. Its equivalent is Д, which starts one basic word that forms close to the heart. Дом. Home. Its certainly more comforting written in the russian set than it is in english. It was given to the throne. Domicile. Dominion. Domination. Damnation if its built upon the fool.

The D is set to symbolize the womb. From where life comes. The physicality of presence. Substance, with form. Its a living world. Not mechanical.

And the game is all

About unlocking yo chi.

Had a couple visitors this weekend. A cat and a ferret. Exploring my appartment. Well their about to innitiate another hit on me. We’ll see what it is.

So i may as well go

Get a pack of smokes. Going on 40 consistent ywars of being hit like this. Taking other peoples punishments. That they deserve on top of everything fun dun.

Uh, all that came up was casually mentioning boogus sexyal harrasment charges. No gay dhit. Surprised. Eow.

So in this image of temperance and the land. She has no place as of yet in my deck. Not the one i’m working on. She should belong somewhere in there. Attention is still drawn to card letter Я. The farmer in his field, surrounded by golden wheat. Hat’s off, for more sun. … though, like already before, the blacksmith gives light to the industrial. To strength, and formation. It just doesnt fit well with the above. You want something harmonious to see. Something that brings all the cards together. In a way that surpasses the attention.

Hey the cats back. Male, tiger striped.

Maybe, the man, with his straw hat, holding a hammer. In the feild. “What you doing with a hammer way out here, old man?”

What indeed son….

Something like this. And not to remember that Я stands for I. They mean the same thing. Every letter that has room for an I. Put it. Its fun to consider card letter 3 has no I. B does. D, E, F, H, K, L, M, N, P, R, T, Y is debatable. Not really a full I. M and N are partial. Sometimes slanted. But curios if to use this. On the matter of the Tower card letter Б, and card letter 3. If card letter B isnt present. Another messages speaks out here. A tower in the field. Worth to think about.

So card letter 3 is on number 9. Which also inextricably links card number 3 to card letter 3. Seeing how they share the same symbol. So at wall-value the two are interchangeable. It’s by layer that they differentiate. The interchangeability. Still there, weaker because it’s been diluted. This created 3 separate images but, two separate pathways.

The two three’s are also a single three squared. This number being nine. The midpoint obviously six. Perhaps that why six is an image of lovers. And the letter H. With its similarity to sex. Vowels aren’t counted in tarot. There is no card letter Ii or Ee. Its just SX. Card letter S is the devil. And card letter X is another image of boy meets girl. Or Crowley’s. Rim job. Though also taken with freedom, innocence and exuberance. This is not something taught.

I dint like this feeling? Is it going to go away? And stop calling me jack sparrow. I dont have a compass. Fuck off. The only thing im learning in life is the conditioning tgat degenrates entire populaces. Understanding how it works. And why it works.

Russia invades canda. Im joining their side. And ill sell ouy every mother fucker i know. Well i should say father fucker. Because we need political correctness after all.

Curse words do curse. you are what you speak. Ну, is this course it’s written. The written word is interresting compare to the spoken word. In this instance,

It’s negation to the male figure. Mother, fTher. Odd type O. Turns of phrases make a whole lot more sense. When the symbol what represents the letter carries with it a wonder. At the arrangement. What’s it mean?

Odd. Type. O. Is such a phrase.

….i’m not that high, . Why^

I created love again. It’s out there. A single unity. My effects are powerful. Always were. There’s strength there. Not much of a life. It will grow. Never lasting. On the letter N, here, suits the french strength. As in no is a fundamental word. If i were to create its own separate card. The Гг asian dragon. Will glide a-coiled the empress. For in all affect it is taught to treat with dignity.

https://youtube.com/shorts/eAXGSMARcCk?si=EBmC-QXZiZ9EatnM

But not that i’ve been forced and raped into a queer. I better get hooked up with a guy or two. Cause sex is all i care about now nothing else matters. Im just here to be fucked. Born and bred to be a subordinate punished every moment i stepped out of line to talk with a girl. And all i got to do is take these pills once an evening. For two days everyother couple of days. And ill take a massive shit that will completely empty my bowels and keep me loose. And they’ll weaken my muscles. So i wont be as strong. And people can continue laughing at me, and doing cruel things to me. Its been that way since childhood. Im used to it. My enyire existance has been nothing but people fuckein with me. Somce my forst memories. I even got eiple making fun of me if i stand up straight instead of slouching.

I live in a gay abusive idiocracy and i dont want ot be alive anymore. .

Hey its labour day. Eveything is closed except for the poison dispensaries. Evil never sleeps. You may always have the opertunity to

Smoke amd get drunk. I have no will to live my life anymorw. Choice is removed. At a certain length. Of all the years of set ups and negative relations. Druggings, manipulations, and conditioning. Does t really make it a free will choice. While no one tells you, all play to ulterior motives. Not letting you in on them. And half of them are sexists fucktards. Laughing at you. But you cry a bitch if it was turned on them.

Its pure queer for me. There’s no bi, there’s no gay. Its just queer. May as well have tits and a vagina. But, i have a masculine athletic build and the “persona” to match. Always paired to some “superior force” outside of me in the form of another person or an entire community. Bedroom with a spychotic abusive older brother from where ive been beaten on for being beaten on.

A magical golden aura toyroom. Al it takes to reach the bottem is being puched down them so you can roll like a ball and hit the wall at the bottem. That right there. Is all you need to know about me. Because thats all its ever been.

Ill start training myself how to be queer. Start watching japenese anime. Well until rhis shit wears off and i can go back to being me again.

I want to be in the abisive side of life. And rape people into suicide. Then i could feel like im

Part of the comunity. Makinng life a better place for everybody. Maybe i could turn a bunch of eomen into lesbians with my toxic feminity. Then they be willing to fuck me with their metaphorical dick. They already done a miraculous power at degenerating society into based driven pervets.

But society does run off, have its language basis from slavery. Generations of enslavement unti the people developed their own identity and form of communication based of submissive habits.

All these years of conditioning and manipulations to turn me into a queer. All those years list on the defendive insread of growing and learning hhow and building a life for myself. All thet development lost to other people. Obsessed with me.

Maybe go yo the gym. Start working out. See a teainer. See if they can help with certain joints and tissue. Doing posuture and diaphragm exorcizes. And some degen fuck tard was talkign smack behind my back. Like i dont have that extra sense. Not to know. Because i was standing up tall. And my chest wasnt as sunken.

Made fun of and picked on for showing masculine. Get fag bashed and heyerobashed by everyone. Byt thats just me for being born. Get manhaddled and shipeed around like im not a person. Always ben a product of other people projections. And most of them. The majority of it all is negative. And people actually rhink that if they keep their thoughts in their head. No one can hear them. Or that their actually good actors. Cause they suck. And should watch more tv.

Its easy alot of the time to tell if someone is being themselves are not. Aadly to say most of the gay people ive been i troduced to. Are all aliens in their own skin. Cause they live a lie. There a taint looming over them. Passing through them. And its revolting. Because they are not. Save for society and all the conditioning and pressures and the sexualization of symbols. And it mKes me feel bad. Pity. Speaking of which then you have the fully emasculate with the bestie girlfriend filling there intents and motivations with friendly feminine support agaist their own better judgement. Some of these guys are brilliant. Caught listening to the dark externalized feminine sins. Affecting the morality or ethicallity of theire decisions.

I was gaming with such a couple. And he was all like. But i shouldn’t cause it’ll be intrusive or etropic to them. Meanign the girl is like. No, nonits alright. They don’t mind. And i was like. Ih yeah i do. He’s right. Amd your an idiot. And then they mive on away from the friend and the nagotive feminine. Addopt the best of it. Find a dmoninate male and have mind blowing anal sex for the rest of their days. One less good man making the world a better place.

But good job getting my mother into it. Now when ever i see her abusive ugly face,i’ll go watch a family oriented film or something. With a good mother “archetype” and good family values. To help save on the degeneracy of my constant conditioning. She always wanted a girl. No she has one. She should leave me the fuck alone. Too busy living in her fantasy land and her memories to pay any attention to her children. Whoch is what she should hav ebeen doing instead of being present but absent. Or beating on me or throwing a bipolar double fire fit everytime if it involved my person.

Now excuse me in my fantasies of the ideal mother and family while being raped into suicide. And repress the hatred to bury everysingle One of you with out conscience or mercy. Which also means the absnece of cruelty. Whoch is a sing of dovinity in this world.

Purge the fucken demon.

An impossible task in hell.

Fuck love. Born again.

Though i do wonder if the next step, if this one doesnt work. Is to kidnap and rape me everyday until i like it.

Meh, ive came further.

Everytime ive jerked off, which is alot, i hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Damned, that ass. You guys are luvky get to stair at that all day. If it were me. Id take iher in the back every 5 mins and pump her full of baby girls thta look just like her. And the world would be a better place for.

But i aint 8 years ild anymore. Dont have the drive like i used to.

Thats not good hash thats bad hash. But ill smoke it anyway. Maybe it’ll turn me into a queer agajn for a fee hours. Its harsh, burns black and tastes and smells like a dollar street dealer. Ive smoked enough laced weeed in my days. Some

Of the shit they put in it. I som’t even want to know. When you take a small little puff and blackout. You know its good shit. Maybe itll make me unstable and ill get raped again.

I need to kill myself.

Wonder who my boyfriend is gonna be. Hope he’s like 6ft, exercises, hung and wealthy. If im gonna be a bitch than i want to be well off. And not need to work. And do art and study cards game and stuff instead I won’t have to deal with anyone and i wont have to deal with everything on my own. It just be me and him. And anyone else he decided to bring. Cus id be open to that. You take care of all the life stuff because im eas never allowed to learn how to live. An dill take care of the hime stuff. Id hate the world too much to leave the house anyway. As ling as i get my ass fucked into a spasm seizure fit unable to even moan. Because all that matters in life is pleasure. People dont need to feel

Like thye beling anywere and its not like they need people to be able to

Have healthy lives. If all that can be replaced by a dick. Then who am i to argue. I was born to be owned anyway. Always at the mercy of other people and how i get treated. I was never ment to feel human.not like i have a single social connection that doesnt play me this way. All

People have ever dome is fick eoth me. And i dont eant to be alive anymore. 40’urars later i still don’t know what it is to trust somebody.

Ugh. It wore off. I still got some more.

I need a new job. G luvk fimding one. Meet a new group to fuck with me.

So hurry up and send me a guy so i can blow him in my appartment and get it recorded on video for everyone. I have enough experience of it that it destroyed my life. So lets go back and satisfy everyones evil over me. And then you can all smile and laugh and feel superior to me. It’s all ive ever known anyway.

When i asked her for her number, even though, i kmow, after like the 6th time or so being friendly. Ahe started spazzing out. Looking for an excuse but couldnt settle on ine and/or form one on the spot. “Yeah, i can see your uncomfortable. Ya,” walk away.

Too bad they manipulated my physiology into be queer now. The only thing i have to do is unravel all the bs. Oh that what, this that. Its terribly depressing. Im going to go play with my ass now. It kinda feels like massaging your esophagus with a dick. Nothing worth wild. Maybe hurt to swallow for a while.

Well its virgo season so its all about the moon. Some crazy ass far off unavailable, violent and severe moon up in with the fishes of peace and space vibes. If their not a fucken spychopath.

Mothe rplayed with my ass one day. Too focused on my bowels movements then what i was actually doing. Heres a little enema go take a shit. No, no dont force. Let it come out naturally. Like a fountain or some shit. If there wasnt soap going into my mouth, she was popping my pimples. The cakes were good though. Thats pretty much it. But i can go on at quite a length with this. Formulated it all together over thr last few years. I want to beleive that that is the reason why i got raped but, its not. Theres plenty before. Dtop talking jow. Ok. Theres been nothing to hold on to for iver 25 years. Just in the ocean. Being beaten wvery where i go. All these years. Fucken sadistic fucken cocksuckers man.

I glad ive never been able to hold that kind of mentality. Its alien to me. Its way done there pilled all inder less relevant stuff. See? Did i puzzle you? Exactly. Its puzzling. ….” I cry, when angels deserve to die.” Wake up, grab a little makeup….

I hate that words matter. Sentimentality. Spit on it some more. All i do is breed evil. And feed the ines who already are. Its always been that way. Thats just life. Great, your life advice is to shot myself. Fantatic mom. And no i got a while army of women just like you. I dont need you no more.

They all play pretend, they all far away, off in there own little grand worlds of the known, and none of them talk to me either. And they usually have some pre planned thing and nothing is ever organic. No spontaneity, no life. Staring at me at a distince making decisions for my life for me. And, deflect everything. I just font’t know if they own up to it.

My little puppets. Its my power i own it. , never got the what to lead up to this point till now. Tried, failed, fucked with. Doesnt lead much place for development. Always on the defensive on the will. To exorsize evil over being like hey man. Ehats up? Nope. How can i help. Youd figure after all theose hundreds of people. One would. Nope.

I’s hate to say this but, you all suck.

The minute associations from growing up in this retard culture. Interconnectivity. Flow by aspciation. Rippling through your brain. I dont even need to say it cause you already know. Most people say “meh” coincidence or unimportant. Because its dcares them.

I dont think im surviving much longer. Theres no point to life.

Wow, i learn from her. Thise fee short moments of social. Even though its all set up, the back and forth. Ive been a trying to get that for years. Like the feedback loop effect. Ive been deprived of that for so long. Im bately alive anymore.

But im just here to be beaten and manipulated into a belivenrent mess and then raped. Like thats why. Sure ok. Why not.

Ciga and weed. One word i agree with. By association. Pull it! Kill it! Burn!

Sucks to be a four leaf clover.

Go get ipl treatment done on my legs. Their getting patchy. Above the ankles. Ten treatments roughly. 2800$.

Well maybe with all this treatment their eorking over on me. Ill get to go back being a sexually immoral freak that has no bounderies and i can ruin some more lives. And my own while im at it. Ill be back to being a hairless child getting dicked again. While the men im forced to share my life with take pleasure in being superior to me. Oh well so much for the queer life. Somce i was a child. People have always taken pleasure from being over me. Thats just life. Too bad i fomt enjoy it. Id be the happiest person on the planet right now.

But i deserve it. Missing out on my childhood, losing my entire youth and being sexually manipulated in my prime. To never experience anything other than being at the mercy of other people. And never expwrience anything worth living for. 40 years and running. Wonder what a fenuine case of feeling loved feels like. I’ll never know.

Go order some dildos and wait on a guy to make a move on me. It’ll be a set up. Like always.

Throw an anger tantrum. Yell at some people. Boxes are shit, lifys ate shit. Saw is shit. Make a man cry. Igh. Your dad dies last year….(lucky) wow youe sad. You loved your dad. Dint ask for sympathy. Im incapable.

I wont get an inherentance any more than what theyve already goven me. If i do. All that money. Which is gonna be a handfull. Is probably going to. Charity. I dont accept money from strangers and assholes and rapist cocksuckers like he is.

Quit smiking for awhile see if this feeling in my ass ever goes away. If not. Months from now. Ill be ill prabably be a full receptive queer. Agaisnt my own better judgement. And everyone can celebrate.

Hopefully the old testemant is true and god destroys the anericas.

I want to move to russia. Wait till the war os over so i dont get shot by some ltgb rights rapist.

Funny about that while i was getting raped. Was thr forest fires. Worst in years. Hells a burning.

Too bad i don’t enjoy sex at all.

And all the hedonists. Are all oike what?! I dont understand. You cant bot like sex.

With this ass rot desease theyve given me. Ill probably kiss out on old age too.

I dont know how not to be addicted to something.

I scared myself straight. Cant bypass the life preservation with out killing yourself.

I want to turn as many women as i can jbto lesbians. Just to price how sexy of a woman i am.

Dont think im sleepinvvyo ight the ass is too severe. No work. No money. Want to quit anyway. Wont fine another one. Another countdown till i kill myself.

Not putting in any more effort to do a good job thats for fucken sure.

Course i will i dont knwo how not to try and make life better for everybody. It that ive ever experience it before. Give what you get. Has bever once rung true for me.

I always get ten times worse at everything. Could save your life wounldt mayter.

Im nit even allowed to use health care services or see a shrink without being fucked with. There goes that idea.

They want me to be sick so they can continue torturing me for as ling as they can.

Theres no flames to light and keep in anyones hearts. And none in serrounded to thar im willing to.

I cant even be mysellf in my own appartment by myself

Im gonna have to kill myself to prevent everyone from raping my existance. There nothing quite like vbwing framed inti something your not and raped into suicide. Excuse i have to go to work now. Need to to be fucked with some

More.

I have the entire fucken twonships. Hahhahah fucken raping my life hahhab

I need to

Puke soem more.

Hard being s lesbian in a womans world.

My feet are balding my legs are balding my assis balding and the small of my back. Ehats next? Tits and a fat ass. Man, id look skward with tots my shoulders are too broad.

Womanhood aucks. I feel bad for you. Well not really cuz its worst for me than it would ever be possible for you. Chucks. Buch of pussies.

Because ive always been with nature. In nature. Serrounded. One side. Ivr never been fully present. Half of me is here. There other half over there. Ling bouts of solitude paired to toxic personalities. And silence. Nothing means peace. Nowhere means freedom. Just lacking that part to other people. Cuz they’ve always been all the above. Its never stoped. Always there. Always attcked, or persecuted. Singled out, and smalled.

All these years in this inhavent learnt a thing.

And the world is nothing but faget this and faget that. And expectant sadist pleasure with knowing eyes, and curled lips. Year after year.

Father, strangers, others already awuianted to. Social worker, shrink, dentist. Job job. Job. Job.

Alright my god. Show me what next. Pls. The smokes are gone. Give me grace. Like you have. Give me a wonder. Like you have. Brush my skin with wind and my lips with honey.

Yup. Making sure the dentist appoitmment is done by a super pretty girl on really negative venus mars aspects. Still being manipulated into being a queer. All they do is arrange for me to have negative relations with the oppostire sex.

Noy going to the dentist in the 17th. Cant have it on a day of my chossing. Uh?

Anal sucks. Its gross, its smelly, harzardous, and no happy ending. Here come madsage my earloob eith a Q-tip. Itll be mindblowing. An dim a little confused by whomever personalize this general horascipe app of mine. No passion, no fate, no romance. During a transiting mars square venus aspects. With a moon/saturn conjunction in connunction to natal moon. During a lunar eclipse while. Moving away from a sun trine mars to a sun sextile saturn. Not like i understand astrology at all and neither can i study it. Cause my life isnt my own. And it makes it super convinent form oytside forces to manipulate tour life with.

At work to tries pairing me eith an obnoxious buttlover. And a sissy princess. And a foreign indian who has lost his daddy and is still emotionally vulnerable about it. Im a woman remember im incapable of compassion or sympathy. Because women arent like that. And their even more terrible at pretending like they are then men are. They have lies, deceit, drugs and makeup. Theres nothign real about them. Theres no person behind the mask.

Maybe im just not aueer enough yet. Maybe i need to be brought ot the brink of suicide again. Or maybe i need another hormanal injection so i can fantasize about sucking off menopausal women.

Guess ill never know companionship. Be alone forever. Fighting the erge to kill myself. Peobably wont be around mucj longer. All life has ever sone is fuck me anyway. Therws nothing in it gor me.

Anf there probably somethign else excessivly cruel in store for me.

Hahhaha 40 straight fucken years. Hahha. And everyone thinks its fuckne funny. Maybe if i was as eetard as they are id thinknit be funny too.

She thinks im a badass. Being in the right fighting to entire ficken palbet by myself.

Messing with tbe hormones. Probably did the same when i was a child.

#tarot #tarotblr

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aristidetwain · 3 years

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Eight “Lost” BBV Projects

In October 2021, I ended my association with Bill Baggs and his company, BBV Productions. So did many other people. The tale of the rise and fall of “New BBV” in 2021 is a complex and blackly comic one — and not what I’m here to discuss.

No; I just want to make a record, for posterity, of some of the BBV projects that could have been, but now won’t be. Some of these have already been discussed by their creators, in such places as the den of inequity that some call Twitter; others had never been disclosed to the public.

Strap in for eight glimpses of the Faction Paradox, P.R.O.B.E. and more that could have been! Including a special treat for #8… The very long post is under the cut. Note that many other projects must have existed — indeed, I know of a few more, which I’m keeping mum about because the odds are good that they’ll still come out in the foreseeable future… just not at BBV!

1. Faction Paradox: Dionus’s War: The Diplomat by Aristide Twain

After James Hornby’s standalone Faction Paradox short story Eternal Escape was released as the first of BBV’s new FP audiobooks, someone somewhere made the call to spin off its protagonist, Gallifreyan deserter Dionus, into his own series, Dionus’s War. So far, so good.

In parallel to my work on Sabbath and the King, I started work on a Dionus’s War story which would expound on Dionus’s life prior to his desertion, eager to flesh out the character as well as that of his wife, Susit, who was not much of a presence in the original Hornby tale. It was going to be strange; lighter and wittier than Sabbath and the King, but maintaining a clear sense of a slow-motion cataclysm in the backdrop. Characters clinging to happiness in the face of the world ending in equal-parts stupid and terrifiying ways seemed like the right sort of thing for Faction Paradox to be tackling in 2021.

Eager to get it right, I took my time working on it, and before I knew it, Dionus’s War got going without me, under the pen of the enigmatic J. T. Mulholland. Instead of straightforward audiobooks, his two Dionus plays were narrated in the first person by Dionus himself, with the part being taken on by none other than Bill Baggs. (If there is one thing that Bill Baggs cannot be accused of as a producer, it’s being too hands-off… he’s just hands-on in all the wrong ways.)

Incidentally, I created the covers for these two stories, Call Me Ishmael and The Healer’s Sin, which meant it fell to me to decide what Dionus looked like. As seen in the never-before-seen concept art above, I decided Dionus would resemble Bill Baggs without quite being Bill; higher cheekbones, darker hair, a narrower mouth. I was rather happy with the result, which I got the chance to showcase on the Healer’s Sin cover. (Then, after all that, Phil Shaw just painted him as a photo-accurate Bill Baggs for Me & My Ghost, the fourth and final Dionus audio. Dammit.)

Anyway, I still hadn’t handed in my script when the Great Calamity occurred in October, leading Hornby to withdraw the rights to the character of Dionus from Bill Baggs and prematurely ending Faction Paradox: Dionus’s War. Dionus might pop up again (albeit in a different incarnation), but it’s unlikely that further Dionus-focused FP stories will be the name of the game where the brand is headed next, and quite right too. Therefore, I’m afraid “The Diplomat” shall remain untold.

That is — untold in an official, definitive context, because here’s the plot breakdown.

The Homeworld, at the very start of the War.

Most polite society among the Great Houses still can’t quite believe an actual War has actually started. Least of all Dionusavarnapexiandal and one of his oldest friends, Susit, a (male) fellow member of the Homeworld’s purely ceremonial palace guard. Susit, we learn, is on his last life — soon he’ll die and retire into the Great Houses’ personal Underworld. And he’s looking forward to his rest. Dionus points out that his valorous deeds have more than earned him a few extra lifetimes, but Susit is refusing to ask for them. “Di, I’d sooner marry you than remain corporeal a minute longer than I have to”. (A/N: Well, a line to that effect, but less… unbelievably clunky.)

In fact, most Sun Builders still think this conflict will resolve just like the Great Houses’ friction with the likes of the Osirian Court or the Space Lords of Fractallax: with some pro forma sword-rattling and the signing of a treaty.

Thus, most everyone is welcoming when a mysterious man in clinking golden armour shows up at the gates of the Capitol, demanding to bargain on behalf of the Enemy. Assigned to guard the foreign dignitary, Dionus and his partner escort him around as he blusters and threatens various personages, makes arrogant demands, misses the immortal politicians’ subtle wordplay, and generally acts the part of a callous spawn of the lesser-species to a T.

However, when the “Diplomat” starts asking a lot of pointed questions about the Houses’ Prison Planet, Dionus and his partner realise that the man is a charlatan — a representative of a minor cyborg warrior race, the Hyperspace Tyrants. Trading on the Houses’ wariness and lack of information on the Enemy, he actually came to the Homeworld to reclaim his clone army, which a routine House Military patrol had recently frozen in time and plucked out of the Spiral Politic, viewing it as little more than pest control. The Tyrant takes control of the time capsule meant to convey the imprisoned army to the Prison Planet; Dionus and Susit sound the alarm; the Tyrant shoots Susit and takes off.

The dying Susit is tended to by a panicking Dionus. He’s strangely serene. The real War is coming, he says, the day’s events will look like childish amusement in a few years. And if a joke like the Hyperspace Tyrant could rob him of his final life, Susit reflects, perhaps it’s just as well he won’t live to see the real thing. Dionus, having none of it, transfers one of his own lives to Susit, allowing him to reincarnate one more time into a younger, female version…

…Who opens a clenched fist to reveal the unique biodata key necessary to unlock the pod containing the clone army. Susit filched it from the Tyrant! The pod he stole is useless; the army might as well still be in the Homeworld’s custody. They celebrate; Susit finds she’s no longer in such a hurry to let herself die, now that she feels all the youth and possibility of a new lifetime ahead of her. Dionus gives her the last nudge she needed to commit to staying alive: she has a promise to keep. After all, she promised to marry him sooner than regenerate… so in point of fact — she’s late!

Epilogue: the wedding. Sweet, goofy — a pair of minor deities who’ve been around overacting the part of two heterosexual human beings, with a pantomime ceremony, but there’s genuine fondness behind it. The world might be ending, but they’re going to try and have fun while they can. Just as they’ve said their vows, the announcement comes in that the Enemy have launched their first full-scale attack, on the planet Dro…—

Reading it again, there are probably some things I’d do differently today. In fact, there’s probably things that would have changed before the story made it to the production stage, had I kept working on it. The title might have been one of them, actually — I kept feeling that “The Diplomat”, combined with a start-of-the-War setting, might make people expect me to tackle that “idealistic House diplomat” who got killed on the first day of the War… you know, him, with the blue box and the screwdriver. Which is of course the absolute crassest thing you could do with FP, especially if you’re just starting out a new series.

But sod it, I still like it, and it’s still canonical in my heart. I don’t suppose the question of how Dionus met his wife keeps many FP fans up at night, but, well, if you have wondered, here’s your answer.

I didn’t get as far as designing a final cover, but I did create this Return to Shada-slanted visual of a very non-NuWho-ish capital city of the Great Houses, with an eye on using it on such a cover. I liked it. So it goes.

2. Doctor Omega and the Monsters from Earth’s Core & Doctor Omega and the Moon Men by Cole Hrusovsky

It’s almost surprising, isn’t it, that BBV, never slow on the uptake where there was a legal opporunity to Doctor Who without the Doctor Who license, never did anything with Arnould Galopin’s coincidental William Hartnell lookalike, the eccentric Doctor Omega…

(Not that Galopin’s book is lacking in literary merits, for a H.G.-Wells-lite romp! Too often are Omega revivals slandered as only caring about the character due to his posthumous Doctor Who connection; no doubt it is the reason for his unexpected second wind, but it is far from the character’s only appeal.)

Anyway, in 2021, under the pen of Cole Hrusovsky, a series of full-cast BBV Doctor Omega stories was in development. I understand Cole has not given up on making it happen in some shape or form, a luxury afforded to him by the public-domain nature of the Dr Omega character — although at present he is focusing on a different, entirely original audio project.

Hrusovsky’s series would have (or will?) reintroduce Professor Helvetius, Omega’s “mysterious colleague” from the original book, reimagined as a villain — “essentially an equivalent of the Master, with a dash of the Meddling Monk… an equal and rival of Doctor Omega”, characterised as “generally playful, but as the plot intensifies he becomes more serious and dangerous”.

The series’ point-of-view character would not have been Denis Borel, Doctor Omega’s main companion in the original book, but a new sidekick, Edmond, meeting the good Doctor for the first time. “Edmond's role as the companion will be explored over time”, Hrusovsky promised; “early on he will discover that Doctor Omega has had multiple companions in the past, and fear the worst for his fate own based on the mysterious reasons as to why these companions are no longer around”.

Though further stories were loosely sketched out, including historical adventures and the aforementioned face-offs with Professor Helvetius, only two BBV Doctor Omega episodes were synopsized to any serious degree: Doctor Omega and the Monsters from Earth’s Core, and Doctor Omega and the Moon Men.

The former, inspired by Journey to the Centre of the Earth and At the Earth's Core, as well as Doctor Who stories Spearhead From Space and Doctor Who and the Silurians, would introduce Edmond as “ a miner (…) whose world is turned upside-down when a bullet-shaped spacecraft crashes into the mines”. This craft is the ship of Doctor Omega; teaming up, the two discover that beneath Earth's crust, there exists “a civilisation of intelligent amphibious creatures that now wish to rule the surface world”. Instead of the genocidal conclusion of Doctor Who’s original Silurian tale, the end of the story would have seen the amphibians taken to another planet to inhabit as Edmond began travelling with Doctor Omega.

The second episode, Doctor Omega and the Moon Men, took the newly-formed duo of Doctor Omega and Edmond to the Dark Side of the Moon for a wry riff on a mishmash of retro conspiracy theories: Hrusovsky’s titular Selenites were “shape-shifting lizard creatures” who impersonate political figures and broadcast nefarious “radio signals” to Earth in an attempt to mind-control the population. One wonders why they bother with the impersonation business if they have mind-control rays, no? But then, you might as well wonder why Doctor Omega takes jaunts to the Moon instead of writing scientific papers about that unknown species of sapient amphibians he discovered last week…

3. Lupan Evezan’s Cyberon series

After my very good friend @drleevezan authored an outstanding novelisation of Cybergeddon, one of BBV’s vintage Cyberon audio dramas, Bill Baggs wrote to Lupan, asking them if they might be interested in planning out an entire series of original Cyberon books, which Lupan did. Quoth Lupan, few of these are much more detailed than "short story collection" or "ongoing series of novels" because “I just couldn't extract, despite my questioning, anything resembling a sense of what Baggs was actually looking for, (…) so I figured I'd go for pitching series structures and flesh out plots and such once I knew which he liked”.

Lupan’s loose plans for the prose continuation of the Cyberon series were as follows:

Cyberon Vignettes Book

A book featuring a collection of short stories each focusing on a different character or group of characters coming into contact with the Cyberons (e.g., someone affected by the drug trial seen in Cyberon, an original native of the planet Aurichall, a soldier in the Cyber-Wars, etc.). Would serve to demonstrate the wide impact of the Cyberons and give a full view of the Cyberon universe. Could be written entirely by me, or some of the stories could be pitched by other authors if there’s interest.

Sequel to ‘Cyberon’

A sequel to the original Cyberon film/novelisation, featuring Lauren Anderson post-Zygon as she struggles to adjust to her new life as a shapeshifter while also trying to ensure that there’s no Cyberon left on Earth (possibly making contact with other people and organisations, such as P.R.O.B.E., with similar goals). Anderson’s struggle with her shapeshifter identity could be contrasted with the erased identities of the Cyberon’s victims.

Cyber Wars books

Either a series of books or an anthology (whichever makes more sense to produce) set in the future during the Cyber Wars, continuing from Flight of the Cyberons, Cyber-Hunt, and Cybergeddon and starring someone who has joined the fight against the Cyberons (possibly Lauren Anderon, seeing as she was established to have survived into the 31st century in Barnyard of the Cyberons, or possibly an original character), journeying across the galaxies and encountering the Cyberons in various situations. I could write the first book/story (and potentially others), and we could accept pitches for other stories in the series, perhaps. There would be more freedom to create completely original, episodic Cyberon stories for this project, possibly with a central plot thread running throughout — something in the mold of the Doctor Who New Adventures series, maybe.

This particular incarnation of the “Cyberon revival”, however, fell through even before the October scandal: “As it transpired,” Lupan explains, “he also wanted me to write all of these books myself, which was not originally clear (I'd figured he just wanted me to plan the series and find other contributors) — and wanted me to start with one of the few ideas that I didn't feel up to writing myself”.

The book in question was the untitled direct Cyberon sequel featuring Lauren Anderson. Quoth Lupan: “I put that one in only because it was very clear (in fact, it was the only thing that was clear) that Baggs believes that the core appeal of the Cyberon concept is not the Cyberons, but Lauren Anderson. But, while I could try, the tone of the original Cyberon novelisation is, I think, a bit outside my usual range, and I really didn’t think they'd end up meshing (…) I told him as much.”

Bill didn’t write back to Lupan afterwards. But he hadn’t given up on his dream of creating further original Cyberon prose without Arcbeatle Press… bringing us to the next item on my list.

4. Minalopa by Callum Phillpott

With Lupan’s Cyberon ideas stalling before they’d really started, Baggs turned, in mid-September (on 9/11, in fact, in a rather bizarre detail), to Callum Phillpott, author of the other BBV-published Cyberon novel, Cyber-Hunt — a much-expanded retelling of Nicholas Briggs’s original audioplay of the same name, which cleverly wrote “Fred” out of the line-up of BBC Doctors without denying that he did use to be the man in the blue box. It did so through the mysterious figure of the ‘Man in Black’, written with the intent that he might just as easily be the Master/War King, the Genesis Time Lord Messenger, Death itself, or even, he assures me, Nyarlathotep.

(Wait, isn’t Nyarlathotep the Doctor? Well, it’s not as though my story brushing on this topic was actually what anyone would call canon…)

Given that Cyber-Hunt itself clawed its way to the extended family tree of licensed DWU spin-offs through its licensed references to Faction Paradox’s Amazolian System and its planet of Aurichall, the recurrence of the Man in Black in Phillpott’s planned sequel would doubtless have made it one of the lucky few among the Cyberon catalogue to earn its coverage on Tardis Wiki. An interesting thought to ponder.

Anyway, here is Callum’s own account of the writing of Minalopa, the Cyberon novel that wasn’t. Sounds like it’d have been a doozy…

Around a month ago, Bill asked me if I had a pitch for a sequel to Cyber-Hunt. I didn’t, so I came up with a couple on the spot.

The one that won was given the working title “Minalopa” which featured a Holiday planet getting taken over and converted by the Cyberons. When I started working on it proper, I changed it to Minalopolis, and the Holiday Planet became more like Disneyland.

A summary of what I managed to write in the first draft:

Prologue: After the events of Cyber-Hunt, the Cyberon King is pissed. Why is there a Cyberon King now? I dunno, sometimes I just add things to see if I can get away with it, that’s basically what the Man in Black was. They were going to be this like giant Cyberon lich-thing with 6 brains, I suppose I wanted a sort of big Disney Villain vibe but honestly I don’t know if the King would’ve survived in the secd draft.

Chapter 1 basically introduces all 4 heroes: Derren, a janitor who unwillingly works at Minalopolis so he doesn’t get drafted by the Tellurian Alliance; Zeek, a refugee from Corupus who has definitely been traumatised by the Cyberon Wars; Hayley, a laid-back drug store cashier; and finally, returning from Cyber-Hunt, the mysterious robed man I added for… (checks notes) literally no reason. I just thought it’d be fun for people who’d already listened to the audio. Insistently called the Man in Black because I had lyrics to “Man at C&A” on the brain.

Then the next chapter introduced us to one of the villains, Gruber Minalopa. He’s basically inherited the role of Walt Disney and desperately wants to move away from the silhouette of Ozzie Hare and into city planning (hence why he colonised and entire dwarf planet). Oh yeah, and I of course gave him some knockoff mascot characters, this time based on Oswald-era Disney stuff instead of Mickey stuff just to be unique (though I did at one point consider Larold Lemming). They included Ozymandias “Ozzie” Hare, the Mad Doctor Ohm, and Peta the Gorilla. I was sort of inspired by Walt Disney’s proposed city plan when I was making it, except somehow worse (as if a town where you’re encouraged to move out, people in the theme park next door can watch you, and you can’t vote can be worse)

But how does he manage to keep this place exempt from Tellurian Alliance drafting? Arms dealing, also maybe inventing new weapons for them (I just thought it was funny to have him offhandedly say “The Imagineers have made you a new nuke”).

Anyway, so the chapter perspectives alternate between Gruber and one of the 4 protagonists (mainly Derren or Zeek). Derren and Zeek slowly grow close to each other; meanwhile, Gruber is forced to help the Cyberons. See, he also deals weapons to the Cyberons to keep them away. And so they kinda have him in their pocket. They send over a Lear, “Oswald”, to instruct him on what to do. Lears were basically going to be spies constructed by the Cyberons to look like what they think a human looks like (it’s slightly off, and sometimes they’re a bit too weak).

The intent was to sort of build anticipation, “oh no, when is the horrible Cyberon invasion going to effect the main characters”… who knows if it actually worked or if it just came off as an interesting story getting interrupted by a boring story. This would all culminate in the sort of “point of no return” event where the Cyberon invade a party and the true horrors of conversion begin. Meanwhile Derren, Zeek, Hayley and the Man in Black run away.

Beyond that, I’ll admit I didn’t have plans. I mean, I knew I wanted things to happen like Gruber getting converted into the Cyberon Leader of Minalopolis, probably some character drama, they’d see some of the rides I’d named after Who episodes, etc.

I did have an outline with a finale, but by the time I started writing I decided the proposed finale wouldn’t work and still hadn’t replaced it with anything. Thus end my ramblings, now I can finally take all those post-it-notes down, making room for Kasper and the Sea Prince.

5. P.R.O.B.E. Case File: Faction Paradox by James Hornby

Most of you, by now, will have learned that the Faction made their very technical live-action debut in BBV’s P.R.O.B.E. Case Files: Volume 2 in two short subjects written by James Hornby, and visualised in typically cheap fashion by Bill Baggs and Warren Lewis.

What may not be obvious is that, as scripted, these two fairly insubstantial near-encounters between the Faction and the Preternatural Research Bureau were intended as buildup for the “season finale” of Volume 2, which would bring things to a head via a video call between Giles and an actually, properly live-action FP member. Below is a costume test for the character in question.

The story would reveal the Faction with whom P.R.O.B.E. had been interacting as a group of Post-War survivors (which only makes sense, as several clues in Out of the Shadows made it clear that the Arcbeatle-era P.R.O.B.E. stories are set in the Post-War Universe, concurrently with the Welsh Series). After some back-and-forth and mutual outwitting, Giles and the Faction splinter-group’s leader would agree to a treaty comparable to the Gregorian Compact, giving the Faction the chance to build a new Eleven-Day-Empire-esque home base out of the lost time of England’s daylight savings.

This fairly lofty project’s late scrapping is probably to blame for Bill having “made up the count” of Case Files on the Volume 2 DVD with Legend, a scrapped trailer for The Brigadier Adventures that makes for quite a poor tenth and final entry in the Volume. But that’s what you get when you alienate all the people interested in helping your company’s output be, er, good.

The project was ambitious by the standards of the Case Files — although one hopes that if and when more definitive live-action Faction content than whatever this is surfaces, it will be bigger and bolder still!

Mind you, it was surely dwarfed in scope by the project of a direct-to-DVD anthology of horror shorts from the worlds of Faction Paradox, loosely adapted from Obverse’s Wallowing in Pessimism’s Mire. Bill, for once, had a decent budget lined up for that one, and had even managed to sign up a semi-prominent Doctor Who actor to appear in one of the shorts. That one actually collapsed the day before the October scandal, as, on the morning shooting was supposed to begin, Bill was assaulted in the street by a masked man who tore the script from his hand and ran into the distance. (I know this sounds like an outrageous tall tale, but I assure you it’s every bit as real as the Obverse anthology. Here’s some evidence. Also the unlisted YouTube upload of the demo theme tune. Seriously.)

6. The Rani Adventures by James Hornby, Aristide Twain & others

As independently confirmed by Obverse’s Downtime, Pip & Jane Baker wrote multiple further scripts for BBV’s Rani audio series, which would have continued to star Kate O’Mara. Unfortunately, the poor sales of The Rani Reaps the Whirlwind put an end to these plans. However, as Micah K. Spurling was novelising the aforementioned story, Bill began considering digging up those old scripts and adapting them in prose format, turning the novelisation into a backdoor pilot for a new series of Rani Adventures.

Since Kate O’Mara’s Rani’s likeness rights are another kettle of fish entirely from the rights to the Rani character, the assumption was that the novels would star an original Rani incarnation, postdating O’Mara as well as Big Finish’s Second Rani. Matching its real-life status as O’Mara’s last hurrah, the novelisation of …Reaps the Whirldwind was reworked into the final chronological adventure of the original Rani, ending with her regeneration, a special scene written by Hornby as an epilogue to Spurling’s novel. This was, pro forma, a regeneration into what was implied to be Big Finish’s Second Rani, meaning that the Third Rani novels wouldn’t have followed on from it quite as directly as “THE RANI WILL RETURN” might have implied — but the spirit was there.The true “new Rani” was meant to be a younger, South Asian incarnation — a mysterious girl, keeping the fierce intelligence and cold efficiency of Kate O’Mara’s portrayal but very much striking out in a new direction for the character.

Knowing Bill’s occasional unreliability in these matters, we advised him to get in touch with Pip and Jane Baker’s heirs — despite his claims that his original agreement with the Bakers should allow him to adapt the scripts they’d produced at the time, albeit decades later.

To his credit, for once, he listened to us and did get in touch with the Bakers’ surviving relatives, who put him in touch with the agent handling the Rani copyright. Negotiations seemed, at the time, to be going well: “we have scripts by the character’s creator already, we just want your go-ahead to produce them” is a pretty compelling bargaining position.

With the hope growing that BBV would get the rights not just to adapt the Bakers’ scripts, but to then continue to spin the Third Rani into wholly original content, plans began to be drawn.

Among the novels loosely sketched out was my own Helix, an eerie tale of genetic engineering inspired by the Island of Doctor Moreau, where the Third Rani and an innocent “companion” character (a lad in his late teens, probably from some human-like alien species rather than a human) would end up “cast away” on a planet that the Rani had used as a dumping ground for mutant experiments in a previous incarnation, and which had developed, over centuries, into its own psychedelic closed-loop ecosystem, with two main intelligent races, one of blue ape-creatures and another of giant, moth-like insects. They both remembered the Rani (the original Rani, that is; O’Mara) in their makeshift religions, in a cargo-cult sort of way, but one side had her as a harsh-but-fair Creator figure, while the other pictured her as a kind of Devil. I didn’t get as far as truly plotting the thing out, but, of course, they’d have met the Rani-worshipping side first, leading the real thing to make some very reckless assumptions and identify herself openly to the other side when she ran into them…

Anyway, another idea floated around was that the Rani would join the Doctor the Optimistic Diplomat from Drornid and the Master the War King in the Faction Paradox series. I had my own ideas of how that should play out, which I’ll keep to myself for now, but things started going wrong when it turned out that Bill himself did, and he’d started writing a FP Dionus’s War story himself. In fact, he got so excited that he went and released his rather lackluster effort before negotiations with the Bakers had concluded, scraping off the serial numbers to turn “the Third Rani” into “Nari”. Which is embarrassing in itself, but it’s probably for the best that the real Rani didn’t have to be associated with the disgrace of an audio in question, Me & My Ghost.

It’s likely that such unprofessional behaviour would have turned the Baker heirs off the deal anyway — but after the scandal and BBV being dropped by its other licensors (e.g. Hannah Hatt), I think it’s clear the solo adventures of the Third Rani are no longer on the table. It’s pity — I think Helix would have been a good book… And the last trace of the plans in officially Rani-licensed media crumbled when Hornby asked that his Rani regeneration be taken out of The Rani Reaps the Whirlwind before it went to print.

7. Faction Paradox: The Night War Came To Luparia by Christa Mactíre

The night The Halloween Apocalypse aired, debuting Chris Chibnall’s race of dog-like “Lupari”, was a fun and infuriating one if you happened to share a Discord server with Christa Mactìre, long-time writer of a Thirteenth Doctor Adventures fanfiction series prominently featuring a species of wolf-like humanoids called Luparians.

All at once, the fanfics found themselves unexpectedly canonised, and any chance of the originals being approached on their own terms by new readers disintegrated. Not unlike that fateful day Russell T. Davies decided that his Ninth Doctor would be reeling from a great Time War that ended with him destroying Gallifrey and its Time Lords… but not quite like in the EDAs.

History might have been repeated itself a lot closer still — because a month or so prior, Christa was working on an audio story that would have brought Luparia into the official Faction Paradox cosmology, as the location of a remote Faction outpost.

The people of Luparia have not known conflict since deposing their last king five hundred years before, when an enigmatic traveler arrived to plot revolution. But that time of peace is coming to an end: a war unlike anything the universe has ever seen is raging. Luparia is caught in the crossfire… and they have no idea of the danger that lies ahead.

One night, a member of a shadowy organization known as the Faction crash-lands in the backyard of a Luparian widow, and as they are nursed back to health, a strange partnership is formed. And in the process, Luparian history will change forever. War is coming, and they will need all the resources they can get if they are to survive a War of Time.

This one didn’t have time to go very far — I don’t recall if Bill Baggs ever saw the pitch, although I believe James Hornby did. Still — an interesting might-have-been… I understand Christa’s wolf-people might pop up in the official DWU, although they’ll likely have been forced to go through some kind of name change by then!

8. P.R.O.B.E./The Brigadier Adventures: The Paimon Affair by Charles P. Murphy

I thought it was the only fitting that I’d save for last this story by the steadfast Charles E. P. Murphy, given that it came closer to “really happening” than any other. Unlike our last six items of interest, this story’s script was fully-written, and on the brink of being recorded by Bill when the scandal broke and Charles withdrew it. It will now doubly not happen, given that it starred the Brigadier, being intended as the full crossover between the Brigadier Adventures and P.R.O.B.E. Case Files ranges that Giles’s appearances in the framing device of the former already implied.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy Charles’s script online for free, by special arrangement with the man himself, who was also kind enough to write up the behind-the-scenes of it all especially for this post! Go read the story, then come back for…

The Annotations of Paimon!

The germ of the story was the mental image of Giles doing one of The Brigadier Adventures read-throughs and suddenly realising that this was related to a P.R.O.B.E. case: the shocking discovery that things hadn’t actually been resolved and the threat has had fifty years to fester. And if it’s had fifty years to fester, how much worse is it going to be to face? You may have no choice but to run…

It seemed like a clever way to tie both series together. It would also mean The Brigadier Adventures would be shown to ‘count’ more, we weren’t just doing stories squeezed into the continuity gaps but could do things that affected the modern day.

I very cheekily pitched this as a two-part story. The first audio would be a Brigadier Adventures story where he seems to have stopped Paimon, and then you’d get a surprise cliffhanger for next month’s P.R.O.B.E. Case Files. My idea was that it would be a big thrill to anyone listening for the first time, and that it would help sales, and primarily that I would get to write two things instead of just one thing. James Hornby requested I turn it into one audio so it wouldn’t alienate the customers.

The original vague idea was that ‘Paimon’ would be a real entity who was trying to alter mankind so we could fight off alien invasions. Once there were enough sociopathic psychics among us, they’d take over for our own good. That ended up being massively scaled down to fit one audio and I think I prefer it this way: no grand conspiracy with grand aims, just grubby bastards doing grubby things. (It would also have meant, if it came out, nobody has to wonder why nobody else runs into Paimon’s forces – whereas anybody could slot Mortown into the background of a story, on a government committee).

Originally, I’d thought of specifically stating this is happening the week after “the Schädengeist Affair” – meaning Candy Jar’s The Showstoppers, where Lethbridge-Stewart gets his promotion. That was dropped so we didn’t step on any toes. The brief reference to the Korean War and the Brig gathering information & connections for his group are meant as subtle nods to the Candy Jar series. While The Fall of Shield Sentai was about someone’s account of meeting the Brig, this time I wanted to try writing it from his POV – or at least, how he’d write things up. In retrospect, his descriptions of telekinesis and pyrokinesis are a bit clunky but I was pretty sure Alistair wouldn’t know what the hell that was and would assume his boss didn’t either.

I did like the idea that the Brigadier’s pretending ‘oh yeah it’s witchcraft, mate’ as his cover story. The surnames for our baddies (and Marric) are taking from the many pen-names of writer John Creasey. I forget why I decided on that… probably just “I know a source of surnames”. Regina Blanc was a warping of Jean Grey, as the four-guys-and-a-girl setup fit the original X-Men roster. “Weird happenings” is a nod to Paul Cornell using the term in the Wisdom comic, which is itself taken from Excalibur having a Weird Happenings Organisation (WHO) with a Brigadier Stuart and her brother Alistaire.

Summerfield was here to help build up the Brigadier Adventures micro-continuity. The very first audio, Peel’s Memories of Tomorrow, had introduced Captain Summerfield as a long-time valued sidekick of Alistair’s. In that case, I felt, he should appear in things set before then. Hornby asked Peel if I could use him, Peel kindly gave permission, and so here’s Lt. Summerfield, new to all this but showing himself to be a cool operator.

Marric the muckraker’s book about the Brig is meant to make him a crap version of James Stevens in Who Killed Kennedy. Much like Stevens does, he’s writing about this odd Lethbridge-Stewart man and his sinister UNIT force, but unlike Stevens he’s a venal little git.

Hereditary peerages ended under Tony Blair, while Black Rod is the official who keeps order in the House of Lords. “Nobody in Geneva or Cardiff” ties to U.N.I.T. and Torchwood both being shut down in recent Doctor Who, “the ghouls in Department C4” writes out Nimrod and the Forge as allies, and P.R.O.B.E. having no ties to the U.S.A. or the E.U. is just to emphasise nobody’s coming. Alas, the P.R.O.B.E. anthology Out of the Shadows says they do have ties to an American group and have a French equivalent! Ah well, assume the former can’t help them and the latter are occupied.

Once the crossover became one story, I could directly compare Alistair and Giles. That allowed for character work and mean the Brig remained as a presence in the middle of the story. The “serial killer on the moors” is from Hornby’s The Brigadier Adventures: New Pastures.

There’s a few places in this where I wanted to play around with the audio format. Due to budget, the Adventures were always going to be narrated prose but I wanted to use tricks that would only work in audio. So, you have the end credits starting early, you have dialogue edited out, you have it suddenly becoming a live broadcast as baddies attack, and Giles recording bits and pieces over different times. (Similarly, in Shield Sentai I wanted to make use of the Giles-tells-us-about-files-he-found format to mess about with the narrative: multiple documents have to be used and they’re not complete, he’s reading a translation.)

Gary Russell’s Vault now belonging to P.R.O.B.E. was established in the Cyberon novelisation-slash-anthology.

I think the ending could’ve worked a bit better, but I wanted the resolution to be grounded in something from P.R.O.B.E.’s own stories. Maxie was that something as she seemed the most recurring character in the P.R.O.B.E. Case Files and her skin-dyeing meant that she could sneak around in disguise.

The Duke de Richleau was the hero of The Devil Rides Out, which had a film out the year before.

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