#Azula Week 2020

[calderacitylovers]

Wholesome Zutara Short Stories

Tell Me Where Your Heart Is by badlucksav | Published: 2021-04-12 | 2,363 words

Katara accidentally discovers a secret stash of love letters Zuko has written to an anonymous woman but never sent. Could he be talking about her? “And I can’t help but hope that maybe that’s a sign, that you feel for me as I feel for you. Maybe you’re afraid to put it to words, as I am. But I cannot ever speak these feelings to you unless I know...I won’t put you in that position.”

Tales of Tenderness by emicha | Published: 2021-04-06 | 3,068 words

Toph, Iroh, Sokka, Gran Gran, Aang, and Azula observe how the relationship between Zuko and Katara unfolds over the years. “This is the picture of two souls that have seen too much bad already, who’ve grieved and hurt more than one single lifetime should permit; the picture of two people who still have it in them to hold a person so different from oneself this close.”

MOONTIDES by  MarkedMage | Published: 2020-11-24 | 10K Words

He smells like fire and feels like home. She smells like rain and feels like love. A short story about Zuko and Katara’s first kiss inspired by this and this glorious animation by Hayley Foster Wong.

GOLD by ifyouwereamelody | Published: 2020-11-27 | 3,7K Words

Zuko and Katara’s first kiss in a fall garden.

A Love Story Told in Reverse by cablesscutie | Published: 2021-04-26 | 9,324 words

A collection of sweet outtakes from Zuko and Katara’s life: from their childhoods to becoming parents. “Her head tips to rest on his shoulder, and with his heart in his throat, he gives into the months-old urge to kiss her hair. She makes a happy little hum, and Zuko can’t breathe.”

just say when by hawktasha | Published: 2021-03-16 | 6,131 words

After Sokka and Suki’s wedding, Katara wakes up with the worst hangover of her life, with the best friend she has been harboring feelings in secret for the last few years laying next to her, no clothes at all on either of their bodies. Oh, and she had no idea how they ended up in that predicament.

Engagement Chicken: The Engagement Scheme by DontStopHerNow | Published: 2022-09-18 | 23K words

After a night of commiseration about marriage expectations, Katara and Zuko agree to fake an engagement to get the meddlers off their backs. They'll call Chicken on the arrangement when everyone else objects. This can't last a month! Featuring: meddling friends, heartfelt words cloaked in half-truths, chaperones, Fire Nation engagement traditions, Southern Water Tribe wedding traditions, background couples, and a squid-whale with a mistaken identity

The Dragon of the West’s Guide to Flirting by bluesunflower44 | Published: 2021-05-12 | 4,341 words

“Now. Take very good care of this, it’s a family heirloom. Although no one passed it down to me, since I wrote it, it will be a family heirloom one day. I just know it.” Uncle Iroh is good with the ladies. So taking his advice when it comes to romance should go just fine...right?

Strike a Match by Naladot | Published: 2022-09-03 | 22K

At Republic City's second annual HeiBai festival, Fire Lord Zuko has contracted a matchmaker to find him a permanent political ally—or, well, a wife. He asks Katara to chaperone his meetings. But this arrangement only threatens to reveal the truth: there are a lot of things neither of them have ever dared to talk about.

Seven Years Bad Luck by riathermopolis | Published: 2021-08-08 | 20.6K words

The gaang reunites every summer for a week on Ember Island, which in theory Katara supports whole-heartedly. The only problem is that apparently some higher power on the island is on a mission to humiliate her. At least, that's her best guess for why she suddenly can't act like a normal person around Zuko. Or: Katara repeatedly embarrasses herself in front of Zuko.

Maiden Mother Crone by MoonShoesReyes  | Published: 2021-02-12 | 10,8K Words

Post-canon. After the ravages of war, Katara learns to wear three faces: maiden, mother, and crone. A sweet story of Zuko supporting Katara in her journey of self-discovery and finding a purpose. A sprinkle of Blue Spirit and Painted Lady. "After years of being empty, Katara finally knew who she was - or at least, she knew who she was at the core. Though her cast of masks stayed ever-changing, the Painted Lady was always kind and just."

Bound to Burn by Selemetis | Published: 2020-10-02 | 10,3K Words

Post-canon. Zuko witnesses the kiss between Aang and Katara. Over the coming months Zuko and Katara work their way back together. "Zuko knew he had to let Katara go for her to see where she wanted to stand."

So Close and Still So Far by EKWolf2020| Published: 2022-09-18 | 6,4K Words

It is the ten-year celebration of the end of The Hundred-year-old war. Expectations and excitement are in the air for most of the world. But for Katara, she feels dread as some news has come to her that could change everything. Will she follow with expectations, or will she find that there is another path for her?

The Brave Man Only Once by ifyouwereamelody | Published: 2021-02-19 | 2,2K Words

Firelord Zuko and Ambassador Katara’s first kiss. “He flinches as a voice rips him abruptly out of his own thoughts and drops him back into the meeting; the table of council members is watching him, staring with raised brows that beg the answer to a question he doesn’t know, but Katara refuses to look his way.”

Til Kingdom Come by bluenebulae | Published: 2020-07-26 | Words: 6,2K

Four years after Sozin’s Comet, Katara finds her way home. A proposal story. Supportive Gaang. “I’ve spent four years exploring every corner of this world, Zuko. I’ve been a waterbending master and a shop girl, an assistant in an abbey and an advisor to the Earth King and a whole bunch of people in the Fire colonies still think I’m an actual spirit. I think, now, I just want to be Katara. And that means being here.”

Voyage by amoeve | Published: 2015-07-24 | Words: 4,2K When Zuko asks Katara to marry him, it is for love. But it’s also an alliance that shows the world that the war is truly over, and everyone wants to get in on the fun. For their wedding Zuko and Katara work their way through over-the-top combination of customs and traditions from the four nations. Hilarious and absurd, but wholesome. “She’s a waterbender. When they travel, the little ship skims across the surface of the sea, eating up the miles, and they have ice houses to sleep in every night. He’s a firebender. He lights their way when the fogs descend, keeps them warm when they sleep, and fries the fish she catches in his hands.”

But Who’s Counting? by halfhoursonearth | Published: 2023-12-28 Words: 7K

After the Last Agni Kai Zuko and Katara are waiting for the news from the GAang and get to explore their friendship and growing connection. A tender and beautiful story. “Tears are gathering in her eyes, and a new tightness pulls at Zuko’s chest. Though he still isn’t used to the casual way his new friends touch one another, this is not the first time he has felt the instinct to reach for Katara, in particular—to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder or arm. But wiping tears from her face is something new, and Katara watches him with wide eyes as his hand rises to her cheek.”

happiness (that's all rolled up in you) by soopsiedaisies | Published: 2024-01-17 | 3,8K words

A first kiss story. Zuko and Katara are cooking dinner for the Gaang on the Ember Island. Sweet, thrilling, and beautiful. "She reckons that she likes a lot of things about Zuko. She likes his face, for starters: his nose, his eyes, his mouth. She likes his scar and the way he dresses. She likes how he picks up the slack left by the others like those tasks were his anyway and she likes his smile. She likes the way he kisses and she really likes his hair."

For the Fire Nation | 2019-11-25 | 2,8K words

He falls in love with her for his country before he falls in love with her for himself. A short and beautiful AU story that explores how love and duty aren’t always mutually exclusive.

[kigozula]

I listed all my work here. With one click on the link on my blog "My Work", it's clearer. There are surely many edits missing, but most of the important entries are tagged.=)

Fanfiction:

My Love, My Enemy

Sokkla Saturdays 2020 - Affections

Sokkla Saturdays 2021 - True Love

Sokkla Saturdays 2022 - Where you are, there I am

Sokkla Saturdays 2023 - By Your Side

Sokkla Saturdays 2024 - As Long As We're Together

Independend Stories (One-Shots)

Artworks

Edits

Events:

Gladiator Week

Gladiator Week 2

Gladiator 200th Chapter Celebration

Gladiator 300th Chapter Celebration

Azula Appreciation Day

[seyaryminamoto]

Your entries for the sokkla saturdays are always so good. It makes me wonder: which one is your favorite entry for each of the last three years you participated?

Haha, I was actually thinking about this for the last Fic-to-Art I did. I kind of picked my favorite stories in order to draw them as the representatives from each... anthology? Compendium? Whatever the right name for it might be xD

Anyway... here we go. The full list of Seyary's favorite stories of my Sokkla Saturday entries, starting in 2020:

Matching Heartbeats (2020)

It's difficult to really rank this one fairly because I admit, at the start I had no idea what I was doing. It was meant to be a week-to-week concept and I definitely started very lighthearted, but by week 3 I was going a little crazy with stories and I suddenly found myself building huge stuff I absolutely wasn't trying to go for at first x'D sooo... unfortunately the first two stories, which were the ones I was most easygoing with, wouldn't be at the top here even if I don't think they're bad, actually. They're just not as thoroughly fleshed out, I'd say. So anyway, ranking the whole thing now...

Yakuza AU (Azula and Sokka are in rival Yakuza clans)

"I melt in your hands" (Azula captured by the Gaang AU)

Making a deal (Azula and Sokka work together to stop an assassin in Ba Sing Se's Palace)

Loyalty (Dark Ursa AU)

Sokkla is painful for Zuko (Zuko is enlightened by a dream that convinces him that Sokka and Azula are the perfect match for each other)

Arranged Marriage-Touch (War ends 20-ish years earlier AU)

Lost in a forest and feelings (Sokka and Azula reconnect over a trip to find Space Sword)

"As if that would ever happen" (A scene of Azula and Sokka talking briefly before the birth of their second child)

"I lost my clothes and need to borrow yours" (Sokka and Azula start a somewhat-secret relationship in Republic City)

Boy that was not easy xD I actually feel like 5-7 are all tied, to a fault. They're all pretty fun to revisit whenever I want to, but I guess the four at the top win for me. Yakuza AU is definitely my absolute favorite from 2020, though. It just never gets old for me.

Underneath Starlit Skies (2021)

Now, this time I was ambitious purposefully... and I paid for it through making even bigger stories than before :'D to be fair, I was already writing Gladiator Part 3 at the time and Underneath Starlit Skies really helped me regain my mojo so I could energize myself and keep going with my big fic. So! What shall my ranking look like now...?

Wounded (Yakuza AU sequel)

Happy Family (... Yeah, well, I'm just gonna whistle innocently now...)

Body Swap AU (... self explanatory?)

Each other's punishment (Antarctica AU)

Jealousy (Band AU)

Prince Sokka, Peasant Azula (Dragon Age: Origins AU)

TDOBS: Sokkla happens (Azula captured by the Gaang AU sequel)

Pregnancy (Dark Ursa AU sequel)

Meeting the in-laws (War ends 20-ish years earlier AU sequel)

I admit, the sequels from this year were a lot of fun to write but the new ideas I had for stories just took over me, big time...

... 'cept for Yakuza AU because that one just drives me crazy. I admit I think it's possibly the strongest AU in all of my Sokkla Saturdays entries, though I can't pretend to be objective enough to say for certain, haha. Anyway, I liked the sequel even more than I liked the original and that's saying a lot, considering the first entry for Yakuza AU is my favorite for 2020 :'D And yeah, the Happy Family situation was way too entertaining to write, all those family dynamics were a thrill to explore when I finally had a chance to. Then, the body swap AU was such a strange way to get out of my comfort zone, but it worked fairly well and I really enjoyed it because of that. Very introspective even in all its ridiculousness, haha.

Leap of Faith (2022)

Oh, boy. I really wanted to make more sequels this year. Which might look like a weird thing to say considering how I haven't ranked my sequels all that high, but I really did want to. It's kinda sad to me that I could only do it with two stories when there were so many that required them... but let's hope the prompts are better for sequels in the future, huh?

Alright, and so...

Toph matchmaking Sokkla (Sokka and Azula work together to stop a conspiracy to kill Zuko... in a rather unconventional way)

"Blue looks good on you" (Sokka and Azula are agents of the White Lotus)

College AU (D&D AU)

Each other's firsts (Childhood friends/basketball AU)

Caught off-guard (... ehem. Again, I'll just whistle innocently here...)

Academic rivals (Azula and Sokka attend Ba Sing Se University)

Sokka dresses Azula (Dragon Age: Inquisition AU, sequel to Dragon Age: Origins AU)

Falling in love (Ursa doesn't erase her memories but changes her face anyway and comes back to the Palace as a servant AU)

Flustered Azula (Antarctica AU sequel)

... I admit this one feels a little deceptive X'D some of the lower rated ones were actually pretty solid entries but I have no idea what the hell was going on with my emotional state at the time. Even upon revisiting them, I wound up thinking the story had turned out to be a looot better than I thought it was upon writing it, and yet something about how I felt while writing those chapters just didn't feel entirely smooth, somehow.

ANYWAY! Doesn't change the fact that Toph matchmaking Sokkla has ended up becoming one hell of a favorite for me. Even then, it's kind of difficult to argue that it's my absolute favorite because "Blue looks good on you" absolutely took over my life and ran away with me. And College AU makes me laugh like such an idiot every time I revisit it, too. So while I thought I might not have that much to offer this year because the prompts reeeeally didn't allow me to work with a lot of sequels, I ended up finding some ideas I wound up obsessed with X'D so I really can't complain about what I managed to make this year.

Anyway, this is my personal ranking for all my stories since 2020. I really don't think I was majorly dissatisfied with any entry because, if I had been, I outright wouldn't have posted them :'D I do think my first two entries for 2020 are the weakest of the lot since I really hadn't committed to coming up with major stories at the time, and I really thought I'd take this event easy... :'D oh, what a summer child I was. Fast forward a few weeks later and I was possessed by the wild need to tell the Yakuza AU as best as I could and mourning the fact that it had ended too soon x'D

If you have your own favorites, feel free to share too! It's always great fun to know about the impact my stories have had on readers, especially the rarer ones that seem to fly under the radar. I learned about two years ago that some readers reeeally loved my White Lotus International Games story, and I actually had thought that one had just gone completely unnoticed, and this year, a lot of people were thrilled to see an artwork depicting The Love Advisor's scene of Azula and Sokka reading their tragic romance book together xD so yeah, if you want to talk about the stories you liked, feel free to share your thoughts! :D

[erisenyo]

oooh 1 and 17 for the ao3 wrapped if you haven’t answered them yet!

#1. How many words have you written this year?

Oh man, To Open Every Door To Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun was partially drafted last year and I picked it up after Zukka week to finish, so it's a bit of a rough estimate...but 276K-ish, probably closer to 300K by the end of the year.

Which feels like a lot but I wrote ~750K in less than a year Nov 2020 - Aug 2021, so...a good reasonable pace for me this time :P

#17. Your favorite character to write this year?

This is tough, but I'm going with Azula! She had such a fun voice to explore and think about what mannerisms she might have, what idiosyncracies, and I had a real blast taking a swing at a post-canon story that really focused on her navigating the new shape of the world and her place in it.

That said I absolutely love writing a good Sokka being overwhelmed by his emotions, or a Zuko who is comfortable enough to tease and make a nuisance of himself, so this was very hard to choose!

From this AO3 wrapped ask game!

[esmedalma]

Among things I’d like for Azula to have, a blue dragon is up there in the top five. She would also name the dragon something equally imaginative as her brother, like Ryū or Lóng.

Azula Week 2020 - Day 7 Success

[oki-writes]

Hey! Can I ask for a songfic for Azula? The song would be Michelle by Sir Chloe and/or Animal, by the same artist. I love your blog 💞

Moster

Okay sorry it took me awhile to write this...school been hectic. Also I play soccer so practice been messing with my writing. So now on to the story....

Lo siento...but before I start here’s what you need to know. Azula got her redemption arc, but queen still doesn’t know how to express her emotions that well. No matter how hard you try to help her. You want to leave the relationship because it seems like she doesn’t want to try anymore, but there’s a force keeping you.

Walk in the room

Take off your coat

You look so nice

I've been so cold

You wanna be my special one

I cannot breathe

Please just go home

Azula came over to your place for a so on called “date”. Which basically means sparing with her or helping her redeem her image for the people. Which both you love to do, but she makes it seem like your not even dating each other, just a assistant helping their employer.

“(Y/N) come here, I need to go to this meeting to meet these officials about something, can you take notes for me”

She didn’t even wait for your response before shoving a notepad and pen into your hands.

Michelle

Michelle

You are a monster from hell

Michelle

Michelle

You are a monster from hell

“Zula, Zula, AZULA...”

“What” Azula snapped

“I thought we were going on an actual date today”

“Next time” she said with the most fake smile you ever seen.

You know just how to be cruel

When you shake your hips that way

Paint your lips that way

You wanted to break everything off with her. She never treated you like you did her. Always second in her eyes, never first like her for you.

Michelle

Michelle

You are a monster from hell

Michelle

Michelle

You guys finally finished your meet and was walking back to your house. Unbeknown to you, a guy was checking you out and Azula didn’t like that. She yanked your arm and dragged you all the back to your house.

Walk in the room

Watching you smoke

I'm such a fool

Take off your coat

“Zula what was that for?” you questioned

“Oh like you don’t know” she was fuming

“I don’t” you gotten worry

“Oh so you didn’t see that guy checking you out and everything” she was pissed at that point

“No Zula I didn’t even notice I was just thinking about you the whole time” you stated

“Why were you thinking about me...”

“Well I was thinking if you actually loved me or not, cause it seems like you don’t”

You know just how to be cruel

When you shake your hips that way

I don't care what you say

“Do you really think that, if I didn’t you wouldn’t be my s/o” it rolled off her tongue like honey

She always lies...that what everyone that knew her knows

But, you couldn’t help believe what she said

Michelle

Michelle

You are a monster from hell

Michelle

Michelle

You are a monster from...

“You know Zula, I would believe you if you stop acting like a monster from the spirit world and treat me like your actual s/o”

“Noted, date tomorrow actual one”

“After my meeting tomorrow, you’re taking notes” she said quickly

“You monster” you yelled

I hope I fulfilled your request. Again I’m sorry it took a few days to write. Anyways hope you enjoyed and love you guys.

Spanish word of the day: el hijo único (only child) Get the reference.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Azula Week 2020: Day 6 - A Measure Of Strength

Prompt: Training Pair: Azutara Song: Disturbed - The Light

Summary: Azula loses an arm and Katara helps her through the recovery process.

It happens in a flash of red. At first she isn’t sure of what has just happened, it doesn’t quite register and when it does, it almost as feels as though it hasn’t happened to her, but to someone else entirely. But then the pain settles in. It radiates from her where her left arm should be and spreads out to encompass her entire being. “Zuzu?” She utters softly.

His face is twisted in shock and horror and perhaps rage.

“You missed her, dumbass!” Declares a voice from a distance.

Neither she nor Zuko react. She is in capable, already feeling plenty dizzy and weak. And he, taken too aback to manage.

“Nah, ya ass, I go’d her.”

“Not in the right spot.” Declares the first voice. She hears the snap of a bow string and the whistle as something just misses Zuko’s ear and another spot of agony blossoms in her middle. Tears slip down her cheeks as she stares at her brother. Her remaining hand more or less absently goes to cover the spot that the arrow juts through. She feels blood gush between her fingers. Her hand is slick with it. “Zuzu, I…” She falters. Her mind is going. There is so much blood, it is emptying from her body faster than she can comprehend.

“You ain’t get ‘er neither.” Remarks the second assassin. She thinks that the only thing worse than a hate driven aggressor is a hate driven aggressor who lacks a brain.

He finally acts, in one sweep he catches her weak body and shoots a good burst of fire. She wishes that he would have paid more attention to her when she’d tried to teach him to bend lightning. He takes the first man, the smarter of the two, down regardless. At least he has paid attention to her lesson to take the hardest opponent down first.

She isn’t sure how the rest of the battle goes because her head gives one final dizzying tilt and her body goes limp.

.oOo.

She is numb when she wakes, her senses dulled and mercifully muted. Briefly she thinks that she shouldn’t be alive. She feels along her belly until her fingers find the bandages. The spot radiates a sort of warmth can only a terrible wound can. But that burning sensation is much worse at her shoulder. She knows what she isn’t going to find when she brings her hand to it. Her lower lip trembles.

“You’re finally awake!” Zuko exclaims, eyes wide with relief. “The doctors were telling me that they weren’t sure if you would. But you’re awake. I told them that you would be, you always were lucky.”

Azula swallows, “lucky!?” She snaps, the shrill, franticness in her tone saves her from sounding argumentative. She just sounds...scared? Terrified. The hand she holds to the remaining stump of her arm shakes.

Zuko gently pulls her hand back. “You shouldn’t touch it, it’s still fresh.”

Fresh enough for it to hurt like hell, but not enough for the bandages to be bloodied.

“I…” She sputters, “how am I supposed to bend like this?”

“You’re not!” He says too quickly. “You’re supposed to rest now and when you’re healed you can figure out how to work around this. You always do…”

“I need two arms to bend lightning…” she says softly.

“You need to lay back down and rest.” Zuko replies. “Katara is going to be here to heal you…”

She approaches as he mentions her. “She’s awake?”

“Just woke up.” Zuko answers. And then to Azula he says, “I’m going to bring you something to eat.” Azula isn’t hungry but she lets him leave.

“Hold still, okay.” Katara instructs.

Azula doesn’t plan on going anywhere. Katara lifts Azula’s shirt and tenderly peels the bandages away. The water is cool against Azula’s tummy as it alleviates some of the pain. The waterbender holds her hand there for a few moments more before pulling the water away and replacing the bandages. Azula tugs her own shirt down.

“It’ll be easier if you take it off. Don’t worry, they gave you a sleeveless undershirt.”

Azula sits up and lifts the shirt over her head, but it catches, awkwardly tangling her within her own clothing. Katara pulls it the rest of the way over her head. The princess’ stomach and mood plummet. She can’t even take her own shirt off without help. And suddenly she begins to hate herself. What good is she if she is going to need help to do the most basic things? She balls her fists into the blankets.

Katara creates a sleeve of water on her shoulder, as far as she can tell anyhow. She averts her eyes, not yet willing to see the damage yet. She gnaws on her own cheek, she knows that she shouldn’t wait. It’ll be better to get it over with so that she can get used to it sooner. Azula takes a deep breath and shifts her gaze to her missing arm. Her lip quivers again and tears burn in her eyes. She should have waited for the waterbender to leave.

Said waterbender puts the water away. She seems to hesitate before wiping the tears from Azula’s eyes. But it is a pointless effort as more come to take their place. More and  more until her whole body is wracked with sobs.

Katara takes her in her arms and rubs soothing circles over her back. “Careful, you’re going to hurt…”

Azula is well aware, her stomach is already aching again. She lets Katara  lay her back and bring the water to her belly again, driving away the dull pain that she’d coaxed back.

“It’s going to be fine, Azula. You’re going to be fine.”

It must be in  the waterbender’s nature to be a nurturer because they certainly weren’t on particularly good terms before the assassination attempt. No one was on good terms with her. No one but Zuko, and their relationship had still been so delicate.

“I don’t feel fine.” She mutters. She is very certain that she won’t be. She knows for certain that things will never be the same and that her new normal is going to be much worse than what she’d had before.

“Maybe you don’t right now, but you will.” She presses. “Zuko tells me that things usually work out for you.”

This only dims her mood further. “They don’t. They haven’t, not since the Agni Kai.” She thinks that she had lost her luck alongside her mind, dignity, and aspirations that day.

“Well then you’re due for some good luck soon.” Katara tries.

The waterbender visits again the next day and the day after that. It is now part of her routine, sometimes Zuko or Sokka come with her, most of the time she is alone. Azula yearns to leave her bedrest, but both the doctors and Katara advise against it.

Katara is caring with her, more than anyone has ever been and it makes Azula feel embarrassingly weepy and emotional all over again. She thinks that this might be the first time anyone has invested so much time into her well being. Maybe that is why it was so easy for Azula to grow attached.

.oOo.

She is allowed to leave the hospital bed a few days later, but activity is restricted. Azula itches to get back to training, itching to find a work around to her handicap. Though each of her choice training rooms are guarded; she can throw around all of the titles she wants, they override her for her own wellbeing.

Each rejection has her increasingly more frustrated. Her frustration carries her onto the bench in the palace garden. She sits, uncharacteristically hunched, her arm hanging limp in front of her, lips pursed in a full pout.

“I take it, they wouldn’t let you into your training room again?” Katara finds a seat next to her. Azula crosses her remaining arm over her chest, her frown deepens. “I can’t even convey the extent of my dissatisfaction correctly.”

Katara laughs, “trust me, you’re conveying it just fine.”

Azula almost cracks a smile, but her mood is too dim.

“Here…” Katara mutters. She pushes Azula’s sleeve up and the princess feels a familiar controlled current. Her wound is rather decently healed, but it still feels kind of have the soothing of a good healing session. She feels some of the tension leave her. “Feel better?”

“Somewhat.” Azula replies. “I’d feel better knowing that I’m not useless…”

“Then you can start feeling better now.” Katara assures. She gives Azula’s hand a small squeeze.

“I mean that I’d feel better knowing that I can still bend like I used to.” Her stomach sinks further, she knows that she won’t be able to, not exactly.

Katara cautiously takes the firebender into  a hug and pats her back.

“You don’t have to treat me like I’m fragile.” Azula mutters. She is dreadfully tired of people treating her as though she will break at the slightest touch.

“We just don’t want to hurt you.”

She doesn’t know how to tell her that it hurts infinitely worse to feel so vulnerable. To be treated like she is weaker. “You won’t.” She states simply.

.oOo.

Azula is starting to grow accustomed to being short an arm. Reflexes to use the arm she no longer has are becoming frequent; she forgets that she has lost it less. Climbing is no easy feat, and it won’t be until she strengthens her core and her right arm enough to compensate.

With a tired huff, she lets go of the rungs of the ladder and pushes herself up with her feet, gripping the next rung up before she can drop to the floor. Weeks back, Zuko had the ladder made specifically to cater to her training needs. Its entire purpose is to train her to scale buildings and cliffsides again.

If nothing else, she has a rather impressive grip. She reaches the top of the ladder and lets herself drop.

“You finally made it to the top.” Katara notes with a smile.

“It took much longer than it should have.” Azula scowls.

Katara rolls her eyes and ruffles the firebender’s hair. “You’re always so grumpy. I got something for you.” She fishes around in her bag and pulls out a sleeveless shirt.

“You know that I don’t wear sleeveless in public anymore…”

“I know that you’ve never let insecurities stop you from doing anything before.” Katara shoves the shirt into her arm. “Why shouldn’t you wear a sleeveless shirt?”

“Because nobody wants to see this.” Azula motions to the stump.

“I don’t mind seeing it.” Katara shrugs. “Toph likes it too.”

“Because she is spared the grotesque details.”

“Because she finally has someone else sort of like her. Someone who is still...badass despite a handicap.”

“If I wear the sleeveless shirt tonight, will you promise to never timidly say ‘badass’ again?”

“I guess, that that’s a fair deal.” Katara agrees, though Azula thinks that she has offered herself the short end of the deal. “Have you started working with lightning again?”

Azula swallows and nods, this time she is the meek one. “I need two arms.”

Katara frowns and purses her lips. “Or… you need to redirect the flow. Redirecting lightning borrows waterbending techniques....”

“That also require two arms…”

“That’s the thing about water, when it’s path is blocked it usually just changes it’s flow.”

“Or it gets blocked and has nowhere to go.”

“And then it bursts through with more power than before.” She points out. “Even if it takes a while.” She pauses. “Have you tried bending lightning using a waterbending technique?”

Azula nods, “believe it or not, I’ve tried earth too.”

“I’ve heard of benders who could bend with their minds. If anyone could learn to do that, it’s you. You’ve already trained your mind so well in other areas.” Katara holds her hand at Azula’s temple. “Why not try to direct your flow of lightning using your mind?”

“I suppose that I can give it a try.”

Azula stands up, for now she will focus on her firebending. At least that is going decently enough.

“You’re going to look beautiful tonight.” She pecks Azula on the cheek. A cheek that is now faintly pink. She still has to get used to receiving so much affection. Somehow she thinks that that will be harder than getting used to having one arm.

“You are distracting me from my training.”

Katara rolls her eyes. “Your training is distracting you from me.” She flashes a mischievous smile. “Come on, let me train with you, don’t you think it’d be useful to have some combat training.”

Azula considers, “yes, quite.”  Though there is a part of her that hesitates. The last thing that her ego needs is for her to get her ass completely kicked.

“Remember when we were in the caverns of Lake Laogai and I had you trapped in those water tentacles?”

Azula’s face colors again.

“Maybe you can make a fire version of that and use that as an arm in battle.” She suggests, “I can show you how to do it.”

“You wrap the water around your arm.” Azula reminds flatly. “Right…” Katara trails off. “Well why don’t we just have a little dual like I first suggested?”

“Sure, just don’t completely destroy me.” Azula mutters.

Katara wraps her arms around the princess. “We’re not trying to see who the better bender is, we’re just trying to get you used to fighting again.” She reminds. “I think it’ll be much easier for you to figure out how to approach attacks if you experience them.” She pauses. “Actually, the whole point of this will be to try new methods. Only one of us is going to attack, the other sticks to defense. And then tomorrow, we’ll switch.”

“Right, yes.” Azula agrees. “I suppose that does make much more sense than starting with a dual.” She silently adds that it makes more sense to begin with defense as well. “And when you aren’t around I can work on trying to bend with my mind.”

“I was actually planning on sticking around for that. Combustion Man made all kinds of great faces while doing it.” Katara laughs. “Sort of like the one you’re making now.”

Azula, with nothing else to chuck save for fire, tosses the shirt at Katara who quickly sets it aside. “Alright, so I’ll come at you with a water whip.”

“With two.” Azula insists. “I can easily block one.”

Katara lets the water slide down her arms. “Two it is. Ready?”

“Don’t baby me either.” Azula requests. “If I get hit, I get hit. I should have blocked it.”

Katara’s expression softened. “I’m not going to hurt you on purpose. I know that you guys can be brutal here, but you don’t have to be. I won’t go easy on you, but I’m not going to throw you around either.”

“Just throw some water at me already.” Azula grumbles.

Without warning, Katara obeys. Azula is pleased that her reflexes remain, she ducks down and evaporates the stream with a steady flow of fire. Katara comes at her with the second water arm. Other reflexes are still intact, she goes to throw up her left arm to defend. In battle she would have taken a good slash to the face. She grits her teeth and fights to keep tears of frustration at bay. “Go again.” She requests through gritted teeth.

Katara looks on in concern, but ultimately decides that, for the sake of the princess’ ego, to oblige. She comes just as quickly, but Azula knows what is coming this time. For it, fending the faux attack off has no satisfaction. Not until she notices the third and fourth water arms. This time Azula springs up and cuts through the twin streams with a kick of fire. She has only enough time to land before the water begins to rise again.

She sends a good portion of her chi to the soles of her feet and heats the water beneath them until it turns into nothing but mist.  Mist that rises rather thickly. She realizes that she no has the element of surprise on her side. Briefly she thinks of taking the offensive role, but a sense of honor takes precedence. “I’d be able to attack you very easily right now.” She lets Katara know.

“She, we’ve only just begun and you’ve already found a new approach to combat.” She can hear the bragging, ‘I told you so’, but the excitement in her voice takes the edge off of it. “I figured that you would.”

Azula drops into a roll as Katara sends the next water tentacle in her direction. From the floor, she gives it another fiery kick. She thinks that the move is more reminiscent of Zuko’s bending style than her own. She blasts herself up right with her arm and propels herself forward and under the next water arm, with the agility that is all her own. The water arms pursue her until she reaches the west wall. She runs up it and somersaults over the streams, raining fire over them. They evaporate in another cloud of mist.   She lands next to Katara.

“I don’t think that I have to go easy on you.” The waterbender remarks. “It seems to me, like you’re just as good at this as before.”

“I still can’t…”

Katara rolls her eyes. “Lightningbend? You’re really fixated on that, aren’t you?”

“It’s what sets me apart, everyone can firebend, it takes true mastery to lightningbend.”

Katara quirks a brow. “Really, you think that it’s your lightning that sets you apart? Zuko is learning to lightningbend. If anything it’s--I don’t know--your blue fire that sets you apart.”

Azula holds a small flame in her palm and watches it flick and dance. Katara cups her hand under Azula’s. “You’re the only one who can do that.”

“I suppose.”

“But do you know what really made you such a strong combatant?”

“What?”

Katara taps the side of her head. “Your mind, Azula.” She pauses. “You’re really clever and you think fast. That’s what always made you so effective. You didn’t lose that Agni Kai because you were less powerful, you lost it because you weren’t all there.”

Azula lets the fire die down.

“You didn’t need your bending during the eclipse.” Katara continues. “Because you had a plan and you’re good at improvising when you don’t.” She squeezes Azula’s hand. “Maybe you’re right, maybe you won’t be able to bend like you used to for a while. But you don’t need to because you can think like you used to.”

Azula swallows, this time her eyes well with a different sort of emotion. She isn’t quite sure what it is, but it is moving enough for her to have to wipe her eye with the back of her hand. “I guess that I hadn’t considered…” She trails off.

“Well, now you know.” Katara sits herself down in Azula’s lap and Azula wraps her arm around the waterbender’s torso. “So you can give yourself a break.”

Azula stares at her palm as Katara nuzzles her head in the crook of her neck. “I’d still like to bend lightning again, though.”

“You will.” Katara assures. “Until then, you’ll just have to get creative when kicking ass.”

“We had a deal.” Azula nudges her lightly in the ribs.

“Put your new shirt on.” She pecks Azula’s nose. “And let's get ready for our dinner party.”

[azulaweek]

Dates & Prompts

Alright, so we now have dates and prompts!

July 6th: Love

July 7th: Baby

July 8th: Friendship

July 9th: Night

July 10th: Smiles 

July 11th: Training 

July 12th: Success

Feel free to begin planing out and working on your art, fics, edits, etc. And with the Avatar coming to Netflix, I’d like to welcome new Avatar fans both to the fandom and to join us for Azula week! As always, I look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with.

[focusas]

Azula week 2020 day 7 Success

“I would like to congratulate you, Sokka, on your success.“ Azula addressed Sokka, who was siting in dining room eating steak.

“Success? What i succeed in?“ Sokka asked unsure of what Azula was talking about.

“Your hard work has paid off, Sokka.“ Azula sat nearby.

“Sorry, but i don’t remember recently doing anything worth congratulating.“ Sokka continued eating his steak.

“Don’t underestimate yourself. You did a job worth congratulating.“ Azula inched closer to Sokka.

“I am a bit lost here. Could you explain to me what i have succeed in?“ Azula took another bite of steak. It was delicious.

“You have succeed in becoming my mate for life.“ Azula put her hand on Sokka’s shoulder.

“Your what?“ Sokka has trouble chewing while processing what he just heard.

“My mate for life no matter how short your life would be. It all depends on you.“ Azula laid another hand on Sokka and now had both hands on his body. Now Sokka was not only confused but also scared. Azula used this moment to get closer and straddled Sokka to get firm grip on him.

“Are you proposing to me?“ Sokka asked with trembling voice.

“No, that’s what you will have to do, but don’t worry my answer will be positive.“ Azula caressed Sokka’s face.

“And why should i do that? Katara, Zuko, and everyone else would kill me if i tried to do that!“ Sokka was now becoming pale as paper.

“Don’t worry. I have already told them and they give me their blessings. It can’t be any other way in my current condition.“ Azula kissed Sokka’s cheek.

“Just what kind of condition you are talking about?“ Sokka was completely lost.

“Please accept my dearest condolences.“ Katara entered the room and sat near Sokka.

“Wait! I am lost. Who who died?“ Sokka looked at Azula then at Katara then back to Azula.

“You!“ Katara screamed and started to strangle Sokka, before Azula freed him from from Katara’s hand.

“Sister, you can’t do this to my future husband.“ Azula addressed her future sister-in-law.

“I knew you were stupid, but i couldn’t imagine you would be so stupid that you would mess up with crazy princess. Congratulation, you two managed to successfully mess up your lives.“ Katara shoot death glares at Sokka.

“Will someone please tell me what is happening here instead of beating around the bush!“ Sokka decided to get to the point because he was already tired of all this crap. Then as if something hit him in the head he connected the dots and his eyes become so big they tried to leave his skull.

“You both successfully managed to fuck up your lives. Azula is pregnant and to avoid scandal you, Sokka, will be married to her.“ Katara explained everything to Sokka. It took several minutes for Sokka to process it.

“Lets say... theoretically ... I refuse. What would happen then?” Sokka asked after recovering from shock.

“Well...“ Katara smirked at Sokka “it all depends on who will catch you first. I will become the only child or you will be burned and mangled mess and would still have to marry Azula.“ Sokka looked at Azula holding blue fire in her hand and gulped. 

“But we were using protection! How could this happened?“ Sokka asked Azula.

“Maybe you didn’t use it at all time. Just how much fun you two had?“ Katara answered instead of Azula.

“So when are going to get married?“ Sokka accepted his fate.

“As soon as Zuzu prepares for everything!“ Azula hugged Sokka who hugged her back.

[evilcharming18]

Azula Week Day 4: Night

In which Azula likes to lurk around the palace tunnels at night and two times where she runs into someone unexpected.

Once the sun set, Azula knew she had free reign over the palace. It was almost like a puzzle she had to figure out. The countless secret passages that led to hidden tunnels and doors. She knew that her mother would throw a fit if she caught her lurking around the hallways during the night. It was unladylike and not something a princess did. Like she would know.

The girl had already found the tunnel that led to her father and her mother’s chambers. Not that she needed to go back there. All they did was boring adult stuff. She had since found the tunnels that took her to the library and the kitchen. She typically avoided the servants quarters, she didn’t want to risk anyone letting her mother know. The tunnel that led to Zuko’s room was often her favorite place to torment him. Making spooky sounds and moving things around while he was asleep was her way to get screams from the seven year old and she always stayed behind the current to watch her terror unfold.

The one place she couldn’t find a tunnel to is Azulon’s war room. She had been all over and still hasn’t figured out which tunnels connect to lead her there. She wanted to sneak and listen to war meetings, she wanted to know what was happening so she could be prepared. She didn’t want to let anyone down when it was finally her time to lead. She wouldn’t be like Zuzu who couldn’t keep up and needed to be babied.

The princess continued her joinery through the tunnels until she reached a door that she hadn’t seen before. She instantly became giddy at the thought of finally finding the tunnel that led to the war room. She pushed the secret button that was on all of the doors to the tunnels below the palace and hoped that her search was over. Instead of seeing the large table with a throne at the head, she saw one of the main doors that led to the palace entrance. She frowned and walked out into the normal hallways and was even more shocked to see Ursa right in front of her.

“Azula! What are you doing?” Her mother asked in a tone that told Azul she was in big trouble.

“I was just looking for father and I got lost,” Azula tried her best to sound sad and lost but her mother wasn’t buying it.

“You know where his room is Azula. What were you doing?” Ursa grabbed Azula’s arm and quickly began walking towards Azula’s room.

“Why does it matter, it’s not like you care,” the princess muttered and her mother stopped, looking down at her.

“Of course I care. I don’t want you getting lost or hurt. This palace is big and there’s more here than you could ever know,” Ursa told Azula who just scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“What? Like the tunnels?” Azula sneered and Ursa shook her head.

“Yes and other things that aren’t meant for you, you’re a child. You shouldn’t be worried about these things,” Ursa tells her as they near Azula’s room.

“I have to be ready. One day the throne will be mine,” Azula says with pride swelling through her voice. She knew what her destiny was and she wanted to be ready to fulfill it. Her father told her that she would be his heir and she knew that she would be, she’d do whatever it took.

Ursa looked at her daughter with curious eyes. She was always a strange one, nothing like her and Zuko and everything like Ozai. She should be playing with dolls and racing with her brother, not concerned with war and being a leader of a country. She was only five, not even in the royal academy yet and you would think that Azula was well into adulthood. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to understand her daughter.

“Well even fire lords take breaks. It’s okay to go outside and have fun for a while. Or go to sleep at a decent time,” Ursa explains to her daughter who rolled her eyes again.

“Zuzu might believe that but I’m not him. I’m not stupid,” if it wasn’t for her fierce glare, one might have thought that Azula was pouting.

“Your brother isn’t stupid and neither are you. You’re anything but stupid Azula,” the pairing had finally made their way to the door of Azula’s room. Ursa pushed it open and followed Azula in. Ursa quickly went to the wardrobe and pulled out the girls night clothes. Azula took them from her mother and quickly changed. The faster she changed and got to sleep, the faster her mother would leave her alone. All she did was tell her what she was doing wrong. Once her clothes were changed and she was in bed, she hoped her mother would go and leave her be for the night. The thought crossed her mind to leave later in the night and finish her journey but her mom would already be onto her. There’s no way her mother won’t be waiting for that to happen and she won’t give her the satisfaction of being right.

Azula got into bed and closed her eyes hoping her mother would leave her be. Instead, she felt the end of her bed dip and a sigh filled the room.

“You know I love you Azula,” Ursa was met with silence and another sigh left her mouth. “I only want what’s best for you. Always,” Ursa emphasizes as she looks directly at her daughter. Azula’s piercing eyes gazed back at her mother, the same frown gracing her face as it always does. Her brows clenched together as she stared back at her mother, trying to find a lie in her words and it made her uncomfortable that she couldn’t find one.

“Goodnight mother,” was all Azula said before turning over and burying herself under her thick covers, anything to get rid of her mother’s words and stare. It took a few moments for Ursa to leave the room and once her door shut, tears fell from Azula’s eyes.

It only took Azula a week to find Azulon’s war room after that.

Another week had passed and Lu Ten was dead.

A few days later and her mother was gone in the night without even saying goodbye.

So much for always loving her.

That night stayed in the back of her head as she roamed through the palace at night. It was the only thing that kept her calm after a nightmare. She rarely left her room since returning from the Asylum, especially now that her mother had returned. She knew better than to be tempted by the false pleasantries and hope for a reconciliation that would never happen.

She went walking through the tunnels, her robe tightly wrapped around her thin frame. Somehow she felt cold when in the tunnels now, something had changed and it didn’t hold the same novelty it did when she was a child. Still it was familiar enough to ground her, keep her sane.

She was turning a corner to head back to her room, feeling comfortable enough to go back to sleep when she saw someone on the other side.

Ursa.

The woman was standing there, just as shocked as she was to see her. Ursa nervously wrung her hands together as she stepped to approach her eldest daughter.

“Having trouble sleeping?” She finally asked and wasn’t surprised to see that her glare hadn’t changed since she was a child.

“Not like you care,” Azula responded, her voice filled with ice and Ursa flinched. The response was expected but still caught her off guard nonetheless.

“Of course I care,” Ursa quickly replied. The woman looked at her daughter and frowned. It was clear that Azula was not okay. Maybe better than she had previously been but still far from fine. Deep dark circles painted her under eyes and her fair skin had a sickly, almost grey color to it. “You know, this has happened before,” Ursa starts and Azula’s eyes widen. She hadn’t expected her mother to remember. Had it been Zuko, her mother probably would have cherished the memory until she died. She expected it to be gone from her mother’s thoughts as soon as she left her room.

“You remember that,” Ursa has never heard Azula’s voice so soft. Gentle almost.

“Of course I do. You were always adventurous, from the moment you could walk. I could barely keep up with you. Always one step ahead,” Ursa smiles softly at her daughter.

Azula stares at her mother, shock freezing her thoughts. The woman has never talked about her like that. She had never looked at her like that. Almost every memory Azula had of her mother had a frown or sad look attached to it. Never a smile.

“You said you loved me that night. I thought you were lying,” Azula’s voice trembled as the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“I would never lie to you Azula. I meant it, I always have and I always will. I love you,” Ursa took steps forward, placing her hands on her daughter’s face. She used her thumb to wipe away the single tear that ran down Azula’s cheek and suddenly she had a tight pair of arms wrapped around her frame. Azula’s sobs shook both of their bodies as the girl cried in the embrace of her mother for the first time. “I realize now that I didn’t know how to love you the way you needed me too. But I want to do better now,” Ursa murmurs and the princess’ cries grow louder at the realization that her mother did in fact love her.

That she always had.

@azulaweek

[runephoenix6769]

Tyzula fic. Day Three of Tyzula Week Ember Island. 

[azulafangligo]

Flameo! This is my first post for @azulaweek and on tumblr overall. I wrote some fanfic for day 1.

Second chance

It was a warm, sunny day in the Fire Nation. The streets around the Royal Palace were crowded with hundreds of people, cheering and applauding. Apparently the Crown Princess returned from a mission and the citizens were welcoming her home. Chan didn't really care. He was, of course, loyal to the Fire Lord and the princess like all civilians and soldiers, but he didn't worship them or anything like other fanatics did. They were the leaders of their nation, leading them to glory, prosperity and happiness. He respected them and appreciated their efforts, but that was it. He would bow before them if he had to, but he wasn't interested at all in seeing them or knowing anything about them. He didn't have any interest in politics or in the leadership of the country, even though his father was an admiral and all he did in the little free time he had with his family was chatter about the war and about politics. Chan made his way through the crowds, pushing and shoving when someone didn't get out of the way. He was going to meet with Ruon-Jian and some of his other friends at a restaurant a few blocks away. If he could get there. There's so many people here! I'll take me at least a day to get there! he thought, frustrated.

"Excuse me," he told a man in front of him who was obstructing his way. Chan feigned a cough to get his attention.

"Excuse me!" he said again. That was it. He shoved the man aside and continued walking.

"Hey, watch it!" the person said. Chan rolled his eyes in annoyance and didn't turn back. After more swimming through the unending waves of people, his mind took him back to the night when he kissed that girl on Ember Island. A weak had passed since that party where she and her friends destroyed the stuff in his house. His father had been so mad and punished him severely. He thought he'd never hear the end of that one. He barely managed to leave home for a couple of hours and come here. That girl had gotten him into a lot of trouble and she'd also sacred him with her firebending and all that "We will be the strongest couple in the universe! We'll dominate the Earth." thing. Like really, what was that all about? But, even so, he couldn't manage to get her out of his mind. He was always thinking about her. He wanted to forget her, he really did, but he couldn't. She was stunning. He'd never seen a girl more beautiful than her and he had quite a lot of experience if he did say so himself. He should be angry at her, but when he thought about the destroyed house, the only thing that came to mind was her sweet, soft kiss. That moment when their lips touched had been magical. Chan had to admit that, at least to himself. I'm stupid… and crazy, but… I love her. She creeped me out, but I think I kinda like that in a way… and I just can't be mad at her for getting me punished and yelled at by dad. Well, that doesn't matter now. She didn't even tell me her name and I'll never see her again. Besides, she seemed like someone who really cared about her image. I embarrassed her by leaving her, even though no one saw that. He started feeling very regretful. What he'd give to see her again, to be able to talk to her and ask for a second chance. And this crowd is too loud and it's suffocating. I can barely hear my own thoughts. The Royal Palace was about a dozen metres away to his right. Horrible moment to be there with all this agitation.

"Here comes the princess!" someone in front of Chan yelled. His ears were suffering horribly as the cheers got even louder. Beyond the sea of heads before him, he saw the princess's palanquin. The servants caring it stopped in front of the palace gates as they were opening. A man came to the side of the palanquin to greet the princess. He was a highly decorated officer by the looks of his uniform, probably a colonel or general. The princess raised the curtain to salute him back… Chan couldn't believe it. It's her! It's her! But… how? She didn't tell me she was the princess. This is impossible! I almost got together with the Fire Lord's daughter! I'm surprised she didn't kill me for leaving her… She was pretty far away, but he was sure it was her. Without thinking, Chan rushed ahead, almost knocking down the people in front of him and getting a few not-exactly-nice words in return. He ran forward, toward her, pushing and shoving everyone in his way. He almost reached her, just a few metres… Suddenly, he was almost knocked off his feet as a royal guard pushed him back in line with the others.

"Keep the distance," he said commandingly.

"But I have to talk to the princess! Please," Chan stepped forward, only for the soldier to shove him back again.

"Stay in line, citizen. I'm not telling you nicely again."

"Please, I need to-," Chan began

"Yeah, yeah, everyone wants to talk to the princess, I know," the guard cut him off. It was too late-the gates were closing behind the palanquin. That's it. That was the only occasion to say sorry and tell her how I feel. I'll never be able to talk to her again… He felt hopeless and he hated it. He hated that stupid guard, but, after all, the man was only doing his job, and Chan had to admit he did look like just another crazy fan of the Royal family.

Now the masses of citizens were beginning to dissipate. The guard that stopped Chan for talking to princess Azula-he finally knew her name now-as well as the other soldiers, were also moving away and positioning themselves at the gate to guard it.

Well, he was late already late for the lunch with his friends, but he wasn't a punctual person anyway. Now that he was starting to think about it, running like that toward the princess and trying to pass by that guard had been really reckless… and crazy. He should just forget it. He'd gotten what he'd asked for, he can't deny that. But… the princess? I'm the son of an admiral, that's a really big deal, but I'm nothing compared to her… HeHe hated giving up, accepting defeat. He should just be grateful she didn't kill him on Ember Island for leaving her completely alone on that balcony, during the night. I should just go to the restaurant, meet with my friends and forget all about this. She's the Fire Lord's daughter… and I already dumped her. How could have I been such an idiot? Not only that she's pretty much one of the most important and powerful people ever, but… she's wonderful. I love her. I really do. I missed the chance to be together with such a beautiful girl. She still scared him. Even more so now. But, he had to admit it made her very interesting and unique from all the other girls he went out with. That was really great. A normal person would back away from trying to get involved in a relationship with the princess. But if anything love did, it was making people not normal at all. This could, and probably would, end very badly, but Chan was a ladies man. He wasn't going to give up on the princess. If anyone could charm her, it was him.

Chan entered the restaurant and scanned the large room. Ruon-Jian and the others were sitting at a table in the far right corner. As he reached them, Yuo, the joker of the group, smiled sarcastically at him and said, "You're early."

"Hello to you too," Chan said, also sarcastically. "Man, it's a mess in the city. The princess returned and everyone was looming on the streets. I could barely breathe between all those people. Not to mention all their screaming and applauding."

"Yeah, that's why we came here earlier," Rua, the most cheerful of them. She was a beautiful girl, but Chan only thought of her as a friend. He'd known her since they were five years old. "We already ordered for you," she continued and gestured toward a bowl with noodles and vegetables in front of the empty seat next to Tuya, the most talented and creative of the group. She was a great singer, but she was also interested in fashion.

"Thanks," Chan said as he sat down to eat. "Guys, I gotta tell you something," he said. All of them turned their attention toward him, curiosity covering their faces.

"Do you remember that girl I kissed at the Ember Island party last week?" Chan asked.

"Sure," Ruon-Jian asked, raising his eyebrows. "The one that destroyed your house with her friends and scared all of us outta there. Pretty hard to forget her. Didn't you say she creeped you out with her firebending and all that nonsense about ruling the word. How crazy is that? I heard a lot of weird stuff, but never anything like that."

"Well, you're right," Chan admitted, "but, I can't stop thinking about her. I really love her. Oh, and she's the Crown Princess. The Fire Lord's daughter. That's why she said all that stuff about dominating the planet." All of them were shocked and stared in surprise and disbelief. Yuo spit the food he was chewing on the floor.

"What?" he said. "Princess Azula? At our party? And you almost got together with her? And then dumped her? Wow, your an idiot, Chan. She's like the richest, most influential person in the world! If she had a boyfriend, man, that guy would become prince at some point and could have everything he wanted.

"I know, I know," Chan said. "But my family has a lot of money too and I have pretty much everything I want, or at least I did before dad almost threw me out after the house was ruined. The point is, her status is great, but that's not why I want to be with her. I love her and I'm starting to think that a girl who can scare me like she did is pretty cool."

"Chan, you're out of your mind," Ruon-Jian said bluntly. "I know you think you can get any girl you want," he glanced at Rua and Tuya, "no offense. Anyway, you can't be together with the princess. You're lucky she even noticed you, not to mention liking you and not killing you for leaving her. You broke her heart and she still let you live. Man, she must've really been in love with you and all you did was-"

"Ok, ok!" Chan cut him off, annoyed. "I know I screwed up, but maybe she still has feelings for me. I mean, letting me walk away with my head above my shoulders after that is a big deal."

"I agree with Ruon-Jian," Tuya said. "I'm sorry to say it, but it's a horrible idea and you're gonna end up dead."

"Forget her," Yuo said. "They're right. It's not gonna turn out well."

"I can't," Chan said frustrated. "What you're saying is true, but I just can't stop thinking about her. I have to try talking to her."

"She's going to kill you," Rua said."Come on, Chan, we're your friends. We wouldn't want anything like that to happen to you."

"I wouldn't want that either, but I can't help it. I need to go to her, apologise and tell her how I feel."

"I'm telling you again," Ruon-Jian replied, "if you go to her, you're dead. And what are you gonna do anyway? Call her name at the palace doors?"

"I don't know," Chan said. "Maybe."

The sun shone high in the cloudless morning sky. Zuko didn't sleep well at all. He couldn't forget what he did in Ba Sing Se to his uncle. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself uncle was a traitor, he couldn't escape his… his guilt. Uncle Iroh's face when he decided to join Azula always came before his eyes when he tried to sleep. And it wasn't an angry face-it was far worse. It was a sad, disappointed face. But that was in the past. He shouldn't let that ruin the present. It was a beautiful day and the best part was that he was going to see Mai today and spend some nice time with her. Azula and him would meet her and Ty Lee at Mai's house. She'd help him forget all these miserable feelings. Zuko hadn't seen Azula this morning. She was probably still sleeping, but they agreed with Mai and Ty Lee to meet them in half an hour. He didn't want to be late when he'd see his girlfriend. The prince was ready to go. He just needed to wake Azula up.

Zuko walked through a couple of corridors until he reached his sister's room. He slowly opened the door and peeked inside, realising he had been right. Azula was sleeping soundly. He walked to the side of her bed and looked at her face for a few seconds. Her expression was so calm and innocent. Zuko smiled at his sleeping sister. Even after all the things she'd done to him, he still loved her and cared about her. He felt a little sorry to wake her up, but he had to, so he tapped her gently on the shoulder and said softly, "Wake up, Azula. We have to go."

She half opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Good morning, Zuzu," she said with a muffled voice as she was rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning," he said. "How did you sleep?"

"Really good, though I could've done without you waking me up," Azula answered yawning. "I'll go get dressed and put some makeup on."

"I'll wait for you at the palace gates," he said and started toward the door.

As Zuko left her room, Azula slowly got up from her bed and stretched her back a little. The princess had slept deeply and was well rested, ready to start her day. She stretched her back a little and stepped toward the wardrobe, opening it and taking out a kimono. She put it on and tied her hair. Then, she got to the mirror, washed her face and put makeup on her eyelashes. She blinked twice, making sure it was perfect and headed out.

It wasn't a very long way to the gates, but it wasn't short either. She enjoyed taking a breath of fresh air as she entered the front yard and continued toward the palace entrance. The sun rays were bathing her face and hair. They were so warm and gentle. She closed her eyes for a moment and just stood there under the sun's caress. It was very pleasant and relaxing. After a few moments though, she started walking again.

At the gates, there were eight servants waiting and two palanquins. Zuko was already seated in his, so Azula entered hers and pulled the curtains.

Chan reached the Royal Palace's gates. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to talk to Azula, so he wrote her a letter. He'll ask a guard to give it to her. Normally, no soldier would agree, but Chan will use his father's name so a firebender would do him a favour. He'd also bought her a very expensive and exotic necklace. It was a remarkable example of wonderful craftsmanship. The gold it was made of matched her beautiful, bright eyes perfectly and the red jewels it was decorated with would fit perfectly with her red clothes. Well, everyone in the Fire Nation wore red clothing, but the point is the necklace would be perfect for Azula. Chan was aware that she had access to the most expensive necklaces and jewelry in the world, but the one he bought her wasn't pretty close to the top.

There were four Imperial Firebenders at the gates led by an officer. Chan could tell he was a lieutenant, because his chest and shoulder armour was black. Other officers in the Royal Procession had more or less black and gold on their armour, depending on their rank.

Chan took two more steps before the lieutenant came forward.

"That's close enough, citizen. Turn back now," he said holding his palm forward.

"Hello," Chan began. "I would like to-"

"I said turn back," the lieutenant cut him off, in a louder and menacing tone. He quickly took a fighting stance as did the soldiers behind him.

Chan swallowed hard. These men were frightening and deadly, but he wouldn't back away. At least not until he did everything he could.

"Please, I need your help. My dad's an admiral and-"

"That's great, kid, but I don't really care. Get him out of here," the lieutenant ordered and motioned toward his soldiers. Two of the man passed him by and grabbed Chan's arms tightly. They started walking away from the gate and dragging him after them.

"Please! I need you to give this letter and necklace to the princess!" Chan said. He was struggling to get free, but the firebenders' grip was to firm, even for a strong man like him. "Everyone wants to give gifts to the princess. Don't you people get it? The Royal Family doesn't have time for your nonsense," the lieutenant said mockingly. Chan was beginning to lose any hope of making it up to Azula when suddenly the palace gates opened. The lieutenant and the other two guards turned to see who was coming out and immediately bowed before two palanquins carried by servants.

Chan felt a rush of happiness as he thought that Azula was likely in one of the two palanquins. The curtains from both carriages were lifted and both passengers looked confused outside. He was glad to see one of the two to be Azula and surprised that the other was that guy he and Ruon-Jian kicked out of the house during the party. Azula did say he was her brother after all. Oh dear, I threw the Fire Prince out of my house… and he didn't kill me on the spot either. Man, these two are the members of the Royal Family and had been kind and I was a jerk to them. I acted horribly. Even if they got me into trouble. He started to think he should just be grateful he wasn't dead and leave, but no. This was his chance. He'd take it.

"What's going on here?" the prince asked, annoyed.

"Prince, princess," the lieutenant greeted them. Chan couldn't see the man's expression behind his helmet, but he sounded anxious. He had to smile at that. Now that rude idiot became a respectful servant. "My men are taking this stupid citizen a few streets away from the palace. Just another fan who wanted to speak with you, princess. Like you had time to waste on something like this."

"That's Chan from the party at Ember Island," Zuko told Azula, a note of contempt in his voice.

Azula stared at Chan in surprise. She couldn't believe it. She was surprised he was stupid and defiant enough to come to the palace and demand to see her. It was unacceptable. Azula felt a powerful rush of anger run through her. The princess was outraged by his insolence. How dare he come here? No people are allowed in the palace, especially him after what he did… He humiliated me! I… really felt something for him. It was the first time I ever fell in love. And he just left me, the princess of the Fire Nation and a perfect girl whom every men would yearn to be together with! How ungrateful could he be! He stained my image! I should've killed him then and there, but I let him walk away, because I still loved him for a short while. And now he has the guts to come here? This shouldn't go unpunished.

The guards were continuing to drag Cahn away.

"Princess Azula, please hear me out! I'm so sorry about what I did. I was an idiot. I love you and I came to ask for your forgiveness."

Those last words touched a sore point. The images of how he left her on, that balcony, alone, were replaying through her mind. She pretended to laugh at his stupid jokes as Ty Lee had told her. Then, she said his arms looked very strong and they kissed.

Azula was now staring at a random spot, her eyes very distant as she was deep in thought and unaware of what was happening around her anymore.

Chan told her she was pretty. No one had ever made her such an honest and selfless compliment. Her father complimented her often, but that was because she was the perfect daughter for him. It was the least he could do and he still said those things only as long as she met his expectations. She always will, but his praise wasn't coming from an unconditionally loving and caring parent. Mai and Ty Lee also complimented her, but as friends. It was very different from the words of a lover, who would appreciate her far more and in a special way.

She had been really happy to hear Chan say that. That sensation, plus the exhilarating idea of someone loving her and wanting to make a couple with her got her carried away and she said they'd rule the world together. Maybe it hadn't been the best thing to say, but she just couldn't control what she said, only thinking about how great she was feeling. However, it really had been the best thing someone could offer you and that fool just got scared by a few words and a little fire. Pathetic.

In a corner of her mind, Azula was aware that Zuko had just asked her a question, but she couldn't hear him as she kept following her line of thought.

Chan should've thanked her bowing. This made her really angry, but also sad. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but he'd broke her heart that night and she suffered. It didn't that the feeling only lasted for a short time. It had been horrible. Maybe worse than even having to see everyday that mom loved Zuko more…

"Azula?" Zuko asked. Suddenly, she woke up from her reverie and shook her head.

"What?" she replied confusedly.

"I asked you what you want done with him," he said, nodding toward Chan. "His here for you, so it's your decision."

"I made a wrong choice and I regret it," Chan continued. The guards had dragged him about ten metres from the gate already and he kept struggling to get free, even though it was useless. "I can't stop thinking about you. I was so ungrateful for the opportunity to spend time with you and thank you for not killing me. I'm so sorry! Please, give me a second chance!"

Azula shouldn't even think about it. She already moved on and he didn't deserve anything. The princess was still surprised he dared to come here in the first place. She should probably order the firebenders to kill him, or do it herself. Azula opened her mouth to give the order, but something stopped her from speaking. She saw Chan's expression. He was pretty far from her, but she could read him well enough. To her disbelief, there was only truth in his eyes. He was honest with what he was saying. He… really loved her. No, my mind is playing tricks on me. It's impossible. But maybe… this is what I want to see? It doesn't matter, he's lying. He can't be telling the truth. If he loved me he wouldn't have left me. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself Chan was lying, she couldn't. She wanted to believe he was just faking. She didn't want to get hurt again. He was just playing with her. Of course he wanted to be with her, she was the princess.

"You're lying! You're a filthy liar! Sure you love me. Anything to be the princess's boyfriend. You just care about my status," she was trying to be calm, but she couldn't hold back her surge of anger.

"No, I don't care about that. My family is reach. I have everything I want. Why would I need more? I want to be with you because of how you are-amazing-not who you are," Chan said.

"Don't you think you've done her enough harm?" Zuko cut in."You had your chance and you missed it. Leave and never come back here again!"

Azula didn't need Zuko to stand up for her, but… she liked it in a way. There was a chance that, even with all his flaws and weaknesses and with the fact that he was inferior to her, he still cared about her. Zuzu really loved her. I may be better than him at everything, but maybe he isn't that pathetic after all. Thinking back to the current situation, she had to admit Chan had a point. Although she'd be surprised if his parents still fed him after what she, Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee did to his house-Azula had to smile at that memory-he had a point. His parents probably forgave him and he was just punished. This was just temporary and he'd get all the money and things he wants again in the near future. Azula didn't want to be hurt again and she couldn't believe her decision. It's stupid. It doesn't make any sense, but… I'll hear what this peasant has to say. Somewhere deep down, she knew she still loved him and wanted him to be honest, but she despised these feelings. Love makes you weak. I don't need it. I have my friends and that's enough. I could also do without them if I had to. Still, my heart keeps telling me to hear him out and I can't make it shut up… I just want this to be over with.

"Guards, release him," Azula said. The two men immediately let Chan go.

"Thank you," he said. "Again, I apologise-"

"Shut up already," she told him. Her eyes were closed and she put to fingers on her temple in a sign of tiredness.

"I guess I'll just leave you two alone," Zuko said. "I'll tell Mai and Ty Lee you're busy. The servants caring his palanquin started walking away from the palace. Azula exited hers amd motioned the servants caring it to go back inside.

"Come inside," she told Chan.

Chan followed Azula into a big, exoticly decorated room. He could see what looked like the most comfortable furniture in the world.

"I… I brought you these." He showed her the letter and the necklace. Before he could say another word, Azula grabbed Chan's collar and slammed him hard into the wall. He was shocked by her sudden movement and by her sheer strength. He worked out a lot and was very strong and also taller than her, yet she easily pushed him. This made her even more impressive. And scarier. She made a small flame from her palm and held it threateningly at Chan's neck, while keeping the other hand on his collar.

"You broke my heart! You humiliated me! You left me like I was just another one of those brainless girls you go on dates with! How dare you! And more than that, how dare you come to me after what you did? You're my and my father's servant like everyone else in this country. How insolent and arrogant could you be to even consider coming to our palace, lowly peasant?" she said. He noticed Azula's face was red with anger and she was frowning. She was right about him, though.

"I've been thinking about you everyday after the party. At first you creeped me out, but then I realised how cool your power and ambition make you. Never seen a girl like you before. I began to realise I was fool to leave you. I've been a jerk. I didn't appreciate the wonderful chance to be your boyfriend. I regret that decision more than anything I've done in my life. I know citizens aren't allowed to come to the palace, but I couldn't stand not being with you. I really began to miss you. Thank you and your brother for not ending me in a couple of flames after abandoning you and kicking him out of my house. I… I had no idea who you were."

"Oh, so if I'd told you I'm the Fire Lord's daughter you would have behaved differently? You're not doing a good job of making me forgive you," Azula told him sarcastically, bringing her hand with the flame closer to his face. Chan could feel it's heat and knew that it was a centimetre away from burnishing his face.

"What I'm trying to say is that knowing you were the princess would have helped me understand how fortunate I was to meet you. But you're not just the Crown Princess, wonderful for who you are. You're so beautiful and smart and I enjoyed spending time with you at the party. You're really interesting. You are a no-nonsense, strong and confident person and I'd like to get to know you better. I've already told you this, but I love you. From the bottom of my heart."

After hearing those words, Azula's frown was gone as her features relaxed. Instead, a wave of sadness covered her face. She extinguished the flame coming out of her hand and let him go.

"You're the first person I fell in love with. I wanted you to be my boyfriend and all you did was make me suffer. You don't deserve me. You're nothing." Azula folded her arms and looked away from him with an indifferent expression.

"I don't know what else I could say or how I could show you how sorry I am for letting you down. All I can say is, my life would be miserable without you and I'll never forgive myself for losing you. I'll feel regret and desperation for years to come, perhaps for ever. I'd live horribly and pitifully, even with another girlfriend. Azula, I need you," Chan said humbly. The princess still wasn't looking at him, but something in his voice, the sincerity or perhaps the humbleness, made her turn her head and look him in the eye. He really… needs me to be happy? If I don't forgive him, would that really brake him? Countless servants, soldiers and the rest of the population of the Fire Nation have humiliated themselves before me, because they were respectful and scared, but Chan is doing it out of love. True, selfless love. He may be a dullard, but he actually cares about me.

"No one told me things like these before. I've never heard something nicer, not even from my parents." She heard a hint of sorrow in her own voice after saying that. Her family life wasn't great at all, but this wasn't the time to think about that. "I say you deserve a second chance." Without thinking, she stepped closer to Chan and noticed he was doing the same. Their gazes were locked. He put his arms around her and their lips touched in a sweet, gentle kiss. They parted after almost a minute.

"I'm the most fortunate man in the world," he said, smiling.

"Yeah, you are," Azula said, smiling back at him.

"I wanted to give you this letter, but I guess it's not the case anymore. Also, I bought you this necklace. It's one of the most expensive ones on the market. I figured I'd either give you this or a bouquet of fire lilies. I decided the necklace is a more convincing apology gift," Chan told the princess, handing her the necklace. She took it and looked at it.

"Well, I've seen better, but it's not bad. Not at all." She chuckled as she put on the necklace. "Thanks."

"It fits you perfectly," Chan said. "You look great," he passed. "I know you were supposed to meet with your friends and that this is all out of a sudden, but would you like to go with me to Ember Island? It's pretty far, but we can be back tomorrow."

"Mai, Ty Lee and my brother can wait. I'll spare a day to go with you to Ember Island."

The weather was perfect on Ember Island during that afternoon. It was very sunny and the sky was as blue as the ocean ahead.

Azula and Chan were sitting on two mattresses, staring at the wonderful scenery before them. He put his right arm around her shoulders. They stayed there silently for a long time. There was no need for words. They just enjoyed the time spent together. After a while, Azula started to speak.

"You know, I didn't get much love as a kid. Mom loved my brother more and while I was, and still am, my dad's favourite, he rarely gave me any attention." She hesitated. "He expects so much of me and while I'm more than up to the challenge, sometimes it's hard to just catch my breath. I'm just happy I found someone who does show me he loves and cares about me."

"I do care about you," he began, "but it must be frustrating to live like that. Don't you have moments when you just break down under all that stress? You're really though if you can stand it."

"I deal very well with it, actually. I got used to, I guess."

"Well, you have me now and I don't expect anything from you. I love you just like that."

"I love you too," Azula said. She really did and she was glad she gave him the opportunity to make up for his mistake.

Chan noticed she seemed a little upset.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," the princess replied. "It's just… maybe I am a little stressed." Azula found it pretty hard to talk about her feelings. For years she'd been used to keeping everything to herself. There were things she didn't even discuss with Mai and Ty Lee. However, Chan was encouraging her to talk about what was on her mind and she admitted it could do her good. There's no harm in trying. "All my life I've been struggling to be the best, to be perfect. I know I sound like an old woman, but I think I'm a little tired."

"That's fine," Chan said. He got up from the mattress and sat down behind Azula, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We're here to relax. You are pretty tensed. Do you think some massage could help?"

"It's worth a try," she told him as she lay down on the mattress.

"Try to relax and think about our surroundings, like the ocean, the sun, the birds' songs."

As Chan placed his hands on her back, Azula felt his kind and gentle touch. She hadn't experienced anything like that before, but it was very pleasant. As Chan was massaging her back, she concentrated at everything around her: the bright sun, the feeling of it's warm rays on her skin, the pure blue sky at which she could stare for hours and the slow, wide movements of the waves. Azula liked the smell of the ocean as well. It was an unusual odour, the scent of the salt making it special and enjoyable. The princess could hear the birds singing around them. They made beautiful sounds as peaceful as the splashing of the waves against the shore. It was really relaxing to hear this and Chan's massage was also helping a lot. Azula felt so good, she forgot about everything else besides his touch and what she was hearing. She felt very calm and relaxed.

After a while it became hard to focus. The princess was starting to lose awareness of what was around her and soon, she couldn't keep her eyelids open anymore. Azula felt her eyes close as she fell asleep.

Azula's skin was so soft and Chan felt a sudden rise of temperature minutes ago when he started massaging her and he was still feeling it now. He began sweating as well. He was aware that, while it was very warm outside, he was feeling like this because he enjoyed touching her very much.

"Do you feel better?" Chan asked her. She didn't say anything. "Azula?" he said again, putting his hand on her left shoulder and giving her a nudge. She still didn't say anything. He looked at her face and noticed that her eyes were closed and she was sleeping peacefully. Wow. That means she really liked my massage. She was so relaxed that she fell asleep.

Chan turned Azula with her back on the mattress and put his arms around her, the princess's head resting on his right shoulder. He looked at her beautiful face with soft features and caressed her on the top of her head. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I have the best girlfriend ever, he thought joyfully. He just sat there, his girlfriend in his arms as he stared at the ocean. He didn't need anything else. He felt great with Azula and spending time her was all he wanted.

After sometime, an hour or two, Chan had no idea, the princess opened her eyes. She seemed a little confused.

"Did I fall asleep?" she asked.

"Yeah. You looked so calm and peaceful. This means you felt good and that my massage was good as well."

Azula chuckled at that joke. Far better than the sand jokes she thought.

They kissed again, passionately, for minutes as the sun was beginning to set and they both felt it's last rays on their cheeks.

Azula was standing in the living room of Mai's house with her, Zuko and Ty Lee. She was thinking how great she felt yesterday with Chan and she was looking forward for the next time.

"So, how did it go with Chan?" Mai asked.

"It was good," Azula said, trying to sound neutral. She didn't want to show other people her side that loved Chan. It was only for him and it would make her weak. Even in front of her friends and brother.

"I'm actually surprised you gave him a second chance," Mai continued. "I wouldn't."

"Well, he proved me his feelings are true, even if he made a wrong step at first."

"It's good you found someone you like," Zuko said as he put his hand around Mai's shoulders. They smiled at each other.

Normally, Azula would find that gross and wouldn't hold back from telling them just that, but being together with Chan changed her perspective on showing affection to another person.

"You must like him a lot," Ty Lee told Azula, smiling.

"He's, uh, not bad. I guess he's kind of handsome," she was speaking fast with uncertain words, not knowing what to say and stuttering. She looked away as she felt her heart beating very fast and her face warm. She knew she was blushing. Azula was always sure of herself and always spoke clearly, never stuttering. The princess was even a little shy now. All these scared her. I'm not like this. I'm strong and confident. Always. She was annoyed with herself. But with these pathetic reactions came the wonderful feeling of having a loving boyfriend. It's funny how love makes me timid and confused. Chan is the only one who should see me like this. I have to control my emotions around others.

"Azula, you're blushing," Ty Lee said, chuckling

"I'm not!" Azula replied, raising her voice and frowning.

"Just relax, it's nothing to be ashamed. Love is amazing."

"Shut up! I'm not blushing!" the princess yelled.

Ty Lee suddenly became sad and hurt that her friend shouted at her.

That's what she deserves for mocking me. She should be thankful I didn't throw flames at her.

"Azula, calm down," Zuko told her. "She didn't do anything wrong."

The princess gritted her teeth.

"I'm sure you'd be just as neutral if I picked on you for spending time with Mai," she said.

Zuko frowned but didn't say anything. He didn't want to escalate the fight, though he would reply to her if she continued. The best thing to do was to just let Azula say what she had to say and then they'd all get over this.

"Let's forget this," Ty Lee said.

After a few seconds, Azula felt her anger dissipate. I guess I've just proved how I feel about Chan by yelling.

"Just don't ask me private stuff again," she said.

"I won't. I promise," Ty Lee said, her smile reappearing on her face.

[memo1005]

Azula and Katara visit an orphanage. 

[seyaryminamoto]

Azula Week 2020 - Day Two: Baby

Yes, the possibility of drawing baby Azula tempted me too... but I think I needed a full-blown counterweight for the angst in my previous entry and this seemed the right way to go for that :’D

... Well, that is, until I caught a fuckload of feels anyways and ended up sobbing like a fool because Azula growing into becoming a loving mother tears my entire soul to pieces (?)

Anyways, here goes my second entry for @azulaweek!

[juniperhillpatient]

Most Nights

My submission for @azulaweek 2020 07/09 prompt: “Night” 

modern AU where Iroh takes in Zuko & Azula & Azula goes to therapy & starts to get better - technically written within the same universe as Not Another High School AU but as a stand alone drabble. could also maybe be read as post canon but make it modern & change a few things

Most nights, Azula slept well. Most nights she was grateful for her bedroom in the apartment above the Jasmine Dragon and grateful that her brother forgave her for her part in the reasons he was broken in ways that could never be fixed. Most nights she was glad she had new friends and better friendships with Mai and Ty Lee than she’d ever had before. Some nights she didn’t sleep so well.

The Christmas lights Katara and Sokka had helped her hang around the room felt a little too friendly. The framed picture of her, Zuko and Ursa at the beach on her nightstand felt a little too nostalgic for a time it hurt too think about. The pretty seashells Ty lee had given her from her trip to the ocean seemed creepy instead of cute. The patchwork purse Mai had sewn her for her birthday looked like something that needed to be burnt. The collection of horror DVDs Toph had left at her place needed to be returned because they reminded her that she didn’t deserve a friend like Toph.

Most nights she slept well, but some nights she thought about Ozai, alone in the big house, with plenty of time to think about all the ways she’d failed him. Some nights she wanted to go back and that scared her more than anything. She didn’t understand this desire to return home – she always had to remind herself that Iroh’s apartment was her home now. It was wrong to ever consider returning to her childhood home. Ozai had manipulated her and brainwashed her into thinking she didn’t deserve love unless she lived up to impossible expectations. Worse, he’d made her into the kind of person who watched with a smile when he burned her brother’s face. He’d made her into the kind of person who could hurt people without a second thought.

‘Or maybe,’ a voice whispered in her mind, ‘maybe that’s just who you are and whether he made you that way or not doesn’t matter, it’s who you’ll always be.’ The idea that she was just as cruel as Ozai and just as despicable had crossed her mind more than once. Afterall, Zuko was far from perfect but he’d never been sadistic like she was. He’d never handed off his pain to others and tried to spread his misery to lighten his own load the way she did. Zuko had tried just as hard to impress their father as she did, but he’d never been as successful for a reason: she was the one who was most simillar to Ozai. He wanted his children to be clones of him and Azula was almost successful so she was always the one who almost won his affection. 

Ironic, she thought, that she should be so worried about being like him now when all her life she’d never wanted anything more than to emulate her father. 

She’d brought up her fear of being just like her father in therapy and been reassured that the very fact she was worried about this was proof that it wasn’t true, but Azula wasn’t sure that made sense. 

Most of the time, she didn’t dream. She had become very good at emptying her mind. She had to be, to avoid having nervous breakdowns every night. Sometimes though, she’d dream about her mother telling her she loved her and she’d wake up screaming. Zuko would come in and tell her it was alright and she would pretend not to cry and tell him she’d seen a bug and not to worry even though he knew she wasn’t afraid of bugs.

She was getting there, but it took time. It took time to remember that it was alright if Zuko excelled at something, no one would think less of her because he was talented too. It took time to remember that feeling an EmOtIoN wasn’t a crime worthy of the death penalty, it was part of being a teenage girl and a human. It took time to remember that she had people who valued her not because they were afraid of her but because they thought she was valuable just for existing. She was getting there, though.

[esmedalma]

We used to come here every summer when we were kids.

Azula Week 2020