#Aylmer imagine

[mywifeleftme]

355: Motörhead // No Remorse

No Remorse Motörhead 1984, Bronze

I heard British comics writer Warren Ellis tell a story about hearing a horrible banging in the hallway outside his flat late one night in the mid-1980s. When he poked his head outside to give the noisenik hell he discovered Lemmy wandering around smacking the walls with a wooden cooking spoon. After he managed to get the metal legend’s attention, Lemmy waved the implement at him and snarled, “You ever hear of a coke spoon? This is my coke spoon!”

*

This past Friday, I talked to a 50-something punk named Joey P who has 26 Motörhead records on vinyl (including the coveted leatherbound version of No Remorse). If you ever want to have a long conversation with Joey P, I recommend starting with a riff on if Ronnie James Dio was a mob-connected / Rat Pack wiseguy, and then letting him go into antiquarian detail on which Motörhead records are kind of underrated (Another Perfect Day), underrated (Bastards), and really underrated (1916). Love that guy, and I think he’s mostly right. 26 is probably too many Motörhead records even for me, but they are one of those long-running, very sonically consistent bands who turn their deepest fans into sommeliers. I can hold forth about the subtle differences in tasting notes between an Ace of Spades and an Iron Fist (let alone a departure like Orgasmatron!) while an outsider looks doubtfully into their two indistinguishable cups of Jack and Coke. A band like this gives men of a certain age a way to sniff each other over when they meet in a clearing, a low-impact ritual of butting heads.

*

For years I remembered a story I thought one of my friends had told me about running into Lemmy at the Dominion Tavern in Ottawa towards the end of his life. He was miserably drinking white wine on his doctor’s orders, not looking for conversation. The image always struck me as both funny (I cannot imagine the house wine at the Dom having a nice finish), and sad (the day Lemmy Goddamn Kilmister lets anyone tell him he can’t have whiskey!). I think I’ve repeated it once or twice over the years as an example of how age mellows us all, but when I asked the pal I thought had told me, she denied it (though she did add that her ex told her Lemmy’d gone to see “the rippers in Aylmer once”). So, I dunno, maybe he escaped the fate of the Dom Chardonnay.

*

Speaking of fate, Lemmy was a damned sharp fellow beneath all the drugging and boozing (who else could’ve written the lyric “Fourth day, five-day marathon / We’re moving like a parallelogram”), and he rightly figured his label had pitched doing a hits compilation in 1984 because they thought the band was washed up. (The limp sales and savage critical reaction to Another Perfect Day having had something to do with that.) Kilmister insisted on inserting a side’s worth of new songs onto the double LP comp to emphasize that Motörhead remained very much a going concern. Of the four, only the brilliantly dumb “Killed By Death” became a classic in its own right, but the new tracks showed the band were still capable of churning out the sound that had defined them with undiminished ferocity. They never lost it.

*

I do know a woman who hooked up with Lemmy towards the end of his life (if anything in rock and roll can be believed, she had about 1,000 peers. It was like a more pleasant [?] Germs burn). They went home from the bar in Montreal and drank whiskey, and then she split in the morning without leaving her number. She thought the story was funny and I thought not leaving a number was a pretty good flex, but at the end she still gave a bit of a wistful, “I know he probably wouldn’t have called me anyway…”

*

Lemmy picked the songs for No Remorse himself, and even provides short annotations in the liners, so if you’re going to quibble with the selections, you’ll have to take it up with the mole man. (As he says of “Like a Nightmare,” a left-field inclusion, “This was one of my favourite B-sides. Everyone didn’t like it, but seeing as I’m the only one of the old band left, here it is!!”) There are a load of Motörhead compilations out there (I’m partial to 2000’s lavish, oddly-sequenced double-CD The Best of, since it’s the one I had as a kid), and as Joey P will tell you, they did lots of good stuff after 1984. But if 1) you only need one Motörhead record on wax, 2) you’re mostly into the original lineup, and 3) you want something reasonably comprehensive, No Remorse is a no-brainer. It has a few relative duds (“Louie, Louie”) and lacks some absolute classics (“Dead Men Tell No Tales”; “Tear Ya Down”; “City Kids”; “Love Me Like a Reptile”; “White Line Fever” etc. etc.) but why complain given the teeth-rattling abundance there is? As Lemmy says, “Here is Motörhead as you’ve come to expect them. Write your opinion on a Beatle wig and send it to someone who gives a damn. Even if you get us banned, we ain’t gonna stop!”

*

Motörhead were obviously a legendary live act, and they were my first metal show (on a bill at Detroit’s Pine Knob with Dio and Iron Maiden). They played a lot of arenas, but they made the most sense in small theatres. Bigger venues tend to dwarf them, like a small motorcycle gang trying to take over a castle. In a theatre, or better yet a bar, they own the place like The Wild Ones. I don’t remember much specific from their Pine Knob set, except that before closing with “Ace of Spades,” a song Lem was famously bored of playing every night, he told us all, “You’ll know this one, sing along if you want, I won’t be able to hear you anyway,” and then abruptly launched into that hellbent bass riff. Then he disappeared (probably there was some walking beforehand, couldn’t tell you for sure).

*

Lemmy’s funeral was livestreamed back in 2015, and it’s genuinely one of the sweetest, silliest things I have ever watched. The altar features flower arrangements in the shape of the ace of spades; an iron cross in place of a crucifix; two Marshall stacks; a pair of Triple H’s wrestling boots; a 3D-printed urn in the shape of his cavalry hat; and a mirror with a big line of speed on it. Everybody cries, many of them the sort of people the PMRC would’ve expected to burst into flames if they were to enter a church. Everybody talks about how genuinely nice he was. His girlfriend Cheryl, a job that earns you instant and eternal That Poor Woman status from all who observe, gives a super brief statement: “Lemmy loved me, but his greatest love was his fans and his music. I remember saying, ‘Baby, stay home, don’t go, skip this tour. And he said, ‘Baby, I can’t. I love my fans.’” (Imagine that being an interaction between two genuine living people—yet I believe it.) Apparently, he was an absolute pinball fiend. His bootmaker gives a speech. Somebody reads some limericks Lem wrote. What a life. What a story.

*

“Can’t get enough / And you know it’s some righteous stuff / Goes up like prices at Christmas! / Motörhead / Remember me now / Motörhead, alright"

355/365

[tawneybel]

Imagine weaning Brian off of Aylmer just so you, instead of the parasite, can give him gruesome hickeys. 

[bcntbouquet]

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

14. What are five of your favorite ships? (In the rp community or otherwise)

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

1. Who has been your favorite muse to play?

I think my first-ever legit rp muse was Herbert West (Re-Animator) and once upon a time, I didn’t really have the urge to write other characters (can’t you even imagine ME writing ONE character now, lmao). The first OC I really got into was my dude Gideon Brady, so he was my favourite for years—Then I found my way to Supernatural and Dean Winchester was the most at-home I’d probably ever felt in ANY muse ever to that point. Probably stayed that way until some time in 2023. I’ve created dozens of ocs and even quite a number of canon muses since then, but late last year I started writing Brian (Brain Damage) and Aylmer (Brain Damage) and I became very attached very quickly; around the same time, I decided to explore my under-used oc Derward (created c. 2022) and I find he’s easiest to write at this particular time in my life. I also enjoy playing Wonka a whole lot—because he’s so positive and optimistic—but it’s been brought to my attention that Derward and I share a lot of similarities—Which, I suppose, explains why he's become my default muse these days.

2. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you like to listen to?

Yes, I listen to music about 50% of the time that I write. A lot of 80s pop, rock, and new wave ngl. But there's other kinds I listen to, of course. The rest of the time I watch movies while writing… I know, you’d think it would distract me from the text, but most of the time films get me in that creative zone with any combination of setting, music, story, cast, etc.

10. Do you like stylized icons and formatted text or do you prefer to keep things simple?

To quote Slugworth— “A good chocolate should be SIMPLE. Un-complicated.” I will admit I have a hard time reading/seeing (highly) formatted text. Bold, italics, colours, and certain fonts; those are all find by me. As for stylized icons… What’s even the point? Frankly, it’s lost on me. A visual should be just that. Any image or gif that takes interpretation in order to figure out what’s being presented doesn’t really belong… as it serves no purpose to enrich either the details of the narrative or the muse being portrayed. Granted, this is only my personal opinion. If stylized iconography somehow makes your creative juices flow, fellow writers... go for it. You do you. The rpc should always be an inclusive place.

14. What are five of your favorite ships? (In the rp community or otherwise)

Call me biased or indecisive af, but I hold all my ships dear. Romantic or platonic. I just love all my ships- as well as my shipping partners. Lil' shout out to @cvpidswings, @everyoneismytoy, @smolcuriouskitten, @rawbutprecious, and @frcsttitan. Everybody else I ship with, love you too.

'nother lil' shout to @cursedvessels and @miidnighters—Shimi and Callisto are one of my favourite duos in the rpc atp and I love reading about their joint antics. A canon ship I love is Zed and Addison from Zombies.

15. What sort of muses do you tend to write?

Difficult to say... I don't find myself defining any of my muses by type. If I had to take a guess, I'd say kindhearted people with emotional trauma? Again, IDK.

16. Do you like to queue your replies or just post them when you finish?

I'm a slow writer, so I usually post when I've finished a draft. I already keep people waiting a while for a reply due to my inherent speed, so a regular queue would just make things even slower.

17. Do you prefer winging it or plotting everything out?

It just depends on the situation in the rp; during a lot of threads, I do well with a mix of winging it and plotting. 90% of the time, though, it's winging it. My muses are all control freaks in that they're usually more cooperative when I don't involve myself XD

20. If you could tell your muse something, what would it be?

Derward hasn't felt much love in his life, or support. He isn't the type to give up in any situation, but he probably really needs to hear that he's both wanted and needed. I think little compliments would serve him well, too. Maybe tell him that he's cute or that his hair/clothes are nice. He wouldn't always believe me about his clothes, 'cause he tends to wear tattered stuff throughout his various verses, but... If I could give him a big hug, I would. I'd give him a nice smooch on the cheek, too. Maybe wrap a blanket around his shoulders. That said, he should allow himself to put his burdens down from time to time. He's strong, and he knows this. What he doesn't know, however, is that he CAN be weak. He CAN be vulnerable. I would, hopefully, convince himself to free himself of such pressure. Dude needs a good cry five minutes ago.

[rightxonxmain-archived]

face, sender turns receiver's face towards them.

{Onyx to Brian bc I imagine he cant hold eye contact at all-}

While the healing of his head wound had been a high, initially, as was regaining his clarity, that feeling was very much starting to wear thin. The lowness he used to feel from Aylmer's juice withdrawals was now just mental exhaustion due to everyday life with two beings of preternatural origin.

"... I'm sorry," Brian said, guilty of crying the minute before his face was turned. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, keeping Aylmer around... I mean, how egotistical is it for me to think I'm the only person in this world that can keep him out of trouble?"

[pandaemoniumpancakes]

ㅤAnother bullet hit Hadji Murád in the left side. He lay down in the ditch, and again pulled some cotton wool out of his beshmét and plugged the wound. This wound in the side was fatal, and he felt that he was dying. Memories and pictures succeeded one another with extraordinary rapidity in his imagination. Now he saw the powerful Abu Nutsal Khan as, dagger in hand and holding up his severed cheek, he rushed at his foe; then he saw the weak, bloodless old Vorontsóv, with his cunning white face, and heard his soft voice; and then he saw his own son Yusúf, his wife Sofiat, and then the pale, red-bearded face of his enemy Shamil with half-closed eyes. All these images passed through his mind without evoking any feeling within him: neither pity nor anger nor any kind of desire; everything seemed so insignificant in comparison with what was beginning, or had already begun, within him.

ㅤYet his strong body continued the thing that he had commenced. Gathering together his last strength, he rose from behind the bank, fired his pistol at a man who was just running towards him, and hit him. The man fell. Then Hadji Murád got quite out of the ditch, and, limping heavily, went dagger in hand straight at the foe.

ㅤSome shots cracked, and he reeled and fell. Several militiamen with triumphant shrieks rushed towards the fallen body. But the body that seemed to be dead, suddenly moved. First the uncovered bleeding shaven head rose; then, with hands holding to the trunk of the tree, the body rose. He seemed so terrible that those who were running towards him stopped short. But suddenly a shudder passed through him; he staggered away from the tree and fell on his face, streched out at full length, like a thistle that had been mown down, and he moved no more.

ㅤHe did not move, but still he felt.

ㅤWhen Hadji Aga, who was the first to reach him, struck him on the head with a large dagger, it seemed to Hadji Murád that some one was striking him with a hammer, and he could not understand who was doing it, or why. That was his last consciousness of any connection with his body. He felt nothing more, and his enemies kicked and hacked at what had no longer anything in common with him.

ㅤHadji Aga placed his foot on the back of the corpse, and with two blows cut off the head, and carefully—not to soil his shoes with blood—rolled it away with his foot. Crimson blood spurted from the arteries of the neck, and black blood flowed from the head, soaking the grass.

ㅤKargánov and Hadji Aga and Akhmet Khan and all the militiamen gathered together—like sportsmen round a slaughtered animal—near the bodies of Hadji Murád and his men (Khanéfi, Khan Mahomá, and Gamzálo were bound), and amid the powder-smoke which hung over the bushes, they triumphed in their victory.

ㅤThe nightingales, that had hushed their songs while the firing lasted, now started their trills once more: first one quite close, then others in the distance.

ㅤ— Leo Tolstoy, from Chapter XXV in Hadji Murad, trans. Aylmer Maude.

[ajak-204]

{Shudder}

Aylmer looked cheerfully into her face, with intent to reassure her, but was so startled with the intense glow of the birthmark upon the whiteness of her cheek that he could not restrain a strong convulsive shiver.

The word change doesn’t effect the meaning of the passage but makes it more clear as to what happened. The word shiver is used more in person therefore easier to imagine. Shudder is a result of fear or revolution. Shiver is caused by fright, coldness or excitement.

The original word is important to this passage because Aylmer shook due to fear and that is the best way to describe what happened. By using this word it showed how Aylmer was frightened when he saw his wife’s birthmark. Even though his intent was to reassure her, fear took over and displayed itself.

[blackrosedthorn]

Jeffrey Jerome Cohen's 7 Thesis.

In this post I will once again return to Jeffrey Jerome Cohen thesis and explore how his third thesis relates to the Nathaniel Hawthorne's " The Birthmark" and "Poor Things" directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and written by Tony McNamara based on the the 1992 novel by Alasdair Gray. https://cinema.usc.edu/spectator/43.2/03_Anderson.pdfThe Birthmark written by Nathaniel Hawthorn published in 1843 https://pls.nd.edu/assets/272513/the_birthmark.pdf and Poor Things written by Alasdair Gray in 1993 https://www.google.com/books/edition/Poor_Things/vhwP82d6ragC?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PR3&printsec=frontcover will allow us to explore Cohen's thesis through the theme of female sexuality and agency. Historically, women empowerment through voice or body has always been area for cultural anxieties and control. Cohen's thesis helps us understand how women can be portrayed as monsters because they challenge the roles of which women are categorized as submissive.

THE BIRHMARK written by Nathaniel Hawthorne connects to Jeffery Jerome Cohen's 3rd thesis that, Monsters are a Harbingers of Category Crisis as it stresses human imperfections as monstrous. Like, how dare I come out with a mole on the side of my face and give others a reason to either label it as beauty or an imperfection. Firstly, who gives anybody the right to do so. Is it, entitlement or what?! I guess.. that's how Georgianna would have replied had the times been different. Had Georgianna seen her beauty through her eyes and not those of her husband, she would of used that passion for wanting to be perfect for him for wanting to be perfect for herself. After all, he was the one who had become obsessed with it and titled it as a monstrous flaw. Aylmer's inability to accept the flaw reflects societal anxieties about human imperfections and the desire to be "perfect".

"The crimson hand expressed the ineludible gripe in which mortality clutches the highest and purest of earthly mold, degrading them into kindred with the lowest, and even with the very brutes, like whom their visible frames return to dust. In this manner, selecting it as the symbol of his wife's liability to sin, sorrow, decay, and death, Aylmer's somber imagination was not long in rendering the birthmark a frightful object, causing him more trouble and horror than ever Georgiana's beauty, whether of soul or sense, had given him delight." Her beauty overshadowed by a birthmark that is labeled as a flaw. Like Cohen's thesis, her birthmark creates a category crisis. Alymer finding this to be a flaw in which he needs to perfect through science goes against nature in which he later finds out after Georgianna's death.

POOR THINGS written by Alasdair Gray Introduces us to a BELLA FREAKING BAXTER! I love how unapologetic she is is through the film. A woman trying to find herself in a world that tells her how to be herself! lets talk about standing in her femininity and power. She allowed no man or rumor of who all believed her to be to stop her for finding her way to becoming. Cohens 3rd thesis of " The Monster is the Harbinger of Category Criss," reflects Bella's self discovery and her interactions with the characters in the story as they try and place her in gender norms. Critiquing Victorian structures Bella is a free spirit woman finding that, not everyone and everything is as free as she is. From talking about sex openly, exploring her sexually loudly Bella is my kind of girl! She embraces her sexuality openly and without shame. Sleeping with both women and men while she pleased her and didn't care to stop and think of the pleasures of others in the sense of playing it safe for their liking By doing so, Bella embodies the monstrous in Cohens 3rd thesis challenging gender roles and sexuality. Bella sleeping with the women and men in the film. Bella challenges Victorian times by making choices for her own body and relationships. Kicking the bucker on Chasity belts and more on handing out the master key for all to see!

[digital-arts-etc]

People With Unique Genetic Traits That Show How Unpredictable Nature Can Be - Brenda Miller

Every single person is born with their own unique traits, however, the genes that are passed on to us may sometimes be stronger than usual. From looking almost the same as an ancestor, to having different colored eyes, or being born with both blonde and brown hair at the same time, there are some unique people out there. Take a look at some of the most unusual and powerful genetic traits people experience worldwide, and be prepared to be amazed!

Siblings Who Inherited The Genes From Opposite Side

Yet another case of siblings who look like they belong in two totally different families. In this case, the boys’ dad is Irish and the mom is Italian, and they couldn’t have been born more different. While one got the traits of the family’s Italian side, the other boy couldn’t look more Irish. Needless to say that thanks to their opposing genes, when the two of them walk around together no one really thinks they are brothers.

These Twins Who Born To Biracial Parents

If you’re an avid internet reader, you have probably seen the picture of twins Lucy and Maria Aylmer before. The two of them made it to the news when their unique genetic traits took people completely by surprise. The twins were born to biracial parents, and while one of them took one parent’s side of the family, the other twin took the other side. We’re pretty sure that people have a hard time believing that the two girls are indeed twins, born from the same mother and father at the very same time.

​This Guy Who Did Not Inherit his Father’s Genes

While we’ve seen a bunch of people on this list who have inherited their parents’ unique genes, some people get the polar opposite. Like this guy for example. We’re pretty sure that when he’s walking around shopping alongside his dad, not many people realize that they are father and son. Apparently, the DNA situation was a huge curveball in this one, and he ended up growing into the polar opposite of his dad.

​These Sisters Were Born With Opposite Genes

You might have never heard about it, but it turns out that any of us could be born with the genes of one parent, and our sibling with genes from the other parent. That’s what happened to these two sisters. One of their parents is Irish, and the other one is Italian. Clearly, each sister inherited only one side. The result? They look like polar opposites!

When The Genes Are Simply Too Dominant

We’ve all heard and probably seen families where one parent's genes are extremely strong. This family is probably the perfect example of this. Just after one look, there is absolutely no doubt that these girls are sisters. Their mom’s red hair genes prevailed, and we can only imagine how they will continue being dominant in the generations to come.

[ranikrajan]

"All she wanted was to punish him"

"When she poured out her usual dose of opium and thought that she need only drink the whole phial in order to die, it seemed to her so easy and simple that she began thinking with pleasure of how he would suffer, repent, and love her memory when it was too late. She lay in bed with open eyes, looking at the stucco cornice under the ceiling by the light of a single burnt-down candle, and at the shadow of the screen which fell on it, and she vividly imagined what he would feel when she was no more, when she was for him nothing but a memory. ‘How could I say those cruel words to her?’ he would say. ‘How could I leave the room without saying anything? But now she is no more! She has gone from us forever! She is there…’. Suddenly the shadow of the screen began to move and spread over the whole of the cornice, the whole ceiling. Other shadows rushed toward it from another side; for an instant they rushed together, but then again they spread with renewed swiftness, flickered, and all was darkness. ‘Death!’ she thought. And such terror came upon her that it was long before she could realise where she was and with trembling hand could find the matches to light another candle in the place of the one that had burnt down and gone out. ‘No – anything, only to live! Why, I love him! And he loves me; All this has been, but will pass,’ she said, feeling the tears of joy at this return to life were running down her cheeks. And, to escape from her fears, she hastily went to him in his study."

- Leo Tolstoy (1878) Anna Karenina (part VII, Chapter 26); trans. Louise and Aylmer Maude

[tawneybel]

Imagine Brian telling Aylmer that you’re the only one who has the right to mutilate his neck with your mouth.

[reliquarian]

chaotic neutral gremlin does a fashion

[itsalliepg]

While She Was Away (Zig’s POV) - Zig x Scarlett (MC)

SUMMARY: Zig's point of view after breaking up with Scarlett (MC) and her trip to London in The Senior.

PAIRING: Zig x Scarlett (MC)

WORDS: 4635

RATING: Teen

SONG: Waiting For a Girl Like You - Foregner

NOTE: Hey guys! Here’s Zig’s POV about The Senior events (I mean, their break up and how he decided to go to London to see her). It’s the first time I write in first person and I enjoying a lot getting into Zig’s mind LOL I must warn you there’s angst but if you know me, you can wait for a happy ending ;) English isn’t my native language. I write to practice and learn, so please sorry any mistakes. I hope you like it, and if you do, I’d appreciate if you like/comment/reblog!

Fanfic Masterlist

AO3 Profile

Then Scarlett closed the door and I threw myself on the couch. The last thing we shared was a dirty look. Not even goodbye. She was mad at me, and I was mad at her. Why did our relationship become that? Couldn’t she understand my side? Couldn’t she be happy for me, as she always did? She was always so supportive of me, when I decided to go to Hartfeld, when I joined the football team, the dance team, when my grades were tampered with…and this was the most important step I would take, I would leave my family, my friends for the biggest adventure of my life, and I wanted her to come with me! I was thinking about her too when I signed up for the teaching program, wouldn’t it be a life-changing experience for her too? I thought about how much inspiration she would have if she traveled to a totally different country, with a totally different culture, and she’s so intelligent, she could get a job there in no time…I got up and walked around the living room. I kept repeating her words in my mind, trying to find out what happened, why we ended up like this.

Did you even stop to think that I might have my own plans? Or were you too busy thinking about yourself?

How would you feel if I’d just taken it? Without talking to you? Without giving you a say?

So you’re saying I shouldn’t even try?

Is that all you think I do? I just laze around typing on my laptop all day? What about my career?

Funny, I seem to be the only person sacrificing anything in this arrangement.

Is that what our relationship’s come to? Either you give up your dream or I do? Zig, I can’t do this. If that’s how you really feel we’re done!

“If I really loved you”? Really? I’ve been nothing but supportive since we started dating. Because I’m the supportive one! The helpful one! The one everyone calls in a crisis! Need a study buddy? Want to throw a party? How about a cheerleader for your dance audition? Just call Scarlett! She’ll drop everything!

Well after three freaking years it’s my turn to be selfish, damn it! And if you can’t find room in “our plan” for my dreams, then I’ll make my own plan. Without you!

I mean we’re over.

            That was rough. I was wondering if I should go after her and say that we could talk and work things out, maybe we could try long-distance like we did during the summer when she was in San Francisco, but I think I was too shaken after those words.

We’re over.

              The tears I was holding came easily. I was mad at everything. At the world. At Scarlett. But especially at me. I couldn’t help but feel it was all my fault. I was in a trance when I suddenly felt Oliver hopping on my legs. Nala was following behind. I could see how sad they were. They knew something bad had happened.

              _I’m sorry you had to hear all this, babies – I took Nala in my arms and scratched Oliver’s head – but mommy’s gone, and… - that was too much. My next words were punctuated by sobs – I don’t know when she’ll be back…for a while, it’ll just be daddy with you – I walked towards the room and saw Aylmer in his tank. He was also sad – oh, Aylmer, I’m sorry – I put some food for him in the water while I stared at her side of the closet, empty. It broke my heart even more. That apartment was so hollow when she was in California, but I talked to her every day, so it helped me to deal with her absence. Now she no longer lived here. But the sight of a whole wardrobe with only my clothes on wasn’t as hurtful as what I saw on her desk. The star necklace I gave her two years ago on her birthday, the first one we spent together. She never left home without it, and now…she did it. That was a sign that she wanted nothing more about me in her life.

                I still thought Scarlett was being selfish. But she was right. She’s a caretaker, as I said a few days ago, she always put other people’s necessities over hers, and I always had to remember her she was important too. And she finally took my advice. She understood that her career was important. I was thinking about her when I decided that but…I didn’t consider what she wanted. It was really all my fault.

                I lay on the bed and stared at the necklace in my hands while cursing myself a million times. All the fears I had when I met Scarlett came back to haunt me. When I saw her in the coffee shop for the first time, I remember exactly how I was dazzled by her beauty. All I wanted was a chance to talk to her, and then she helped me after I punched Sebastian, and fate continued to put our paths together. But even so, I was afraid. Afraid that she would get tired of me. Or that she would see that we were from different worlds. She was smart, had a lot of friends who loved her, a solid family structure, she had everything to conquer the world. And I had a damn criminal record that only gave me low-paying jobs and judgments wherever I went. I couldn’t give her a good life, the life she deserved. She wouldn’t be eager to introduce me to her family as her boyfriend. I wasn’t good enough for her. But she believed in me. In a way that I never believed myself. Of course, my mom and sisters believed in me, but having this support from someone who wasn’t my family, and I was so interested, meant the world to me. I almost couldn’t believe she said yes when I asked her to be my girlfriend. And we lived so many things together, and then rented this apartment together…I’ve never felt so happy in my life. I could have a college degree as I always dreamed of and had an amazing woman by my side to face the world with me. And during our trip we made so many plans, where would we live, children…I love her more than I ever loved someone. And now I screwed everything. That feeling that I would do some bullshit and throw it all away. And I did. Congrats, Zig.

               My phone started buzzing and I saw my mom was calling me. I texted her earlier saying that I had good news. It didn’t look so good now. I let my phone ring. I was in no mood to talk. I just wanted to cry all the pain I was feeling in my heart.

_

               Almost a month has passed since Scarlett and I broke up. I had no guts to unfriend her on FaceSpace, but I also didn’t want to see her. I mean, I wanted, but I didn’t know how I would react if I saw her triumphs she didn’t want to share with me. Sometimes I wondered if she thought about me, if she missed me as much as I did. She only texted me to ask about our pets, and as much as I tried, I couldn’t answer more than “They’re fine”. I asked the gang if they had news about her, but she barely spoke to them either. Zack only knew she was living with her parents and driving all the way to Hartfeld every day, and would get that study abroad program in London. Maybe she would do that interview in person. She really wanted to focus on her now. And I had no space in it. I wanted to be angry, but then I remembered I did the same. And I should also focus on the trip to Japan about to happen, I would stay a week in Tokyo to know the school that was assigned to me and visit the city. I should be excited, that was all I wanted, right? But I wasn’t. I wish she was with me. I only knew she was going to London because Abbie told me Scarlett was saying goodbye to her. I thought…it would be nice if I texted her wishing a good trip…I took my phone and started writing…but then I deleted it. I must have done this a thousand times. So I finally sent something.

Good luck in London. Be safe.

               I started cursing myself again. Just that, Zig? How about “I miss you” or “I love you” or “I’m sorry”? I didn’t know why I couldn’t write more than that. I stared at my phone and Oliver jumped on my lap and licked my face, trying to cheer me up. But I knew he was sad.

               _I know, buddy. I miss her too.

_

               I was sitting in a park under a cherry tree in Tokyo and texting my mom. She was very happy for me, never imagined a kid of hers could go this far. And at the same time, she tried to cheer me up. That’s what I wanted, and I was doing my best to make the most of Tokyo, but each new place I visited, each new food I tried, each new Japanese word I learned, I couldn’t help thinking about Scarlett and how much she would love that. The smiles in the pictures I posted online where almost fake. This trip would be the beginning of everything, and I wasn’t as happy as I should have been. That trip was the reason for the worst mistake I made in my life. Was she thinking of me in London as much I thought of her in Tokyo?

_

               I was in the library working on my thesis and thank God, I was inspired and everything was going well. Then I felt a hand in my shoulder.

              _Hey, Zig. Sorry, are you busy?

              _Hey, Abbie. I was just working on my thesis, but I should take a break now – she sat next to me – what’s up?

             _So, I’m going to London tomorrow to spend a weekend with Scarlett – I felt a chill down my spine.

             _Oh, that’s nice…

             _Do you…do you want me to say something to her? – she stared at me until  I finally said something.

             _I just want you to let me know how’s she’s doing. If she’s okay, you know – Abbie nodded, she knew I wanted to say more. But I simply couldn’t, I don’t know why I became so coward. I could ask Abbie to tell Scarlett that I missed her, and still loved her after all, but the words never left my mouth.

            _Okay, I’ll tell her – she gave me a reassuring squeeze in my shoulder before leaving the library. It was difficult but within minutes I was back in my thesis.

_

               Abbie came back, and she suggested the gang a night in a bar to be able to tell us about her trip to London. Scarlett was fine, and that relieved me. She was having fun in London and the job offer was incredible, Scarlett would have a great salary, enough to live well there. I was happy for her, really. But it hurt to know she was going her own way without me. I quietly left the table and sat down on a bench outside the bar. All the tears I’ve been holding for almost two months have left my eyes.

               _Zig, are you okay? – Chris sat next to me and I wiped away my tears.

               _She’s fine without me, isn’t she? – I asked still sobbing – she loves being in London and received a job offer that she couldn’t refuse. Why would she turn it down? – Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulders – she’ll stay in London and I’ll go to Tokyo. I’ll never see her again and it’s all my fault!

               _Zig, she didn’t say she would take that job, and if you sit and talk when she comes back, I’m sure you can work things out – I shook my head.

              _I don’t think she wants to see me. After everything I’ve done, I deserve that. God, I miss her so much!

               _She also misses you, Zig – Abbie also left the bar and crouched in front of me – she asked me about you, but I knew she wanted to talk to you, but she couldn’t. Just like you – she smiled at me, and I outlined a smile.

              _You think she misses me?

              _I didn’t go to London, but I’m sure she does – Chris messed with my hair like he used to do when I did well in our football practices – a strong relationship like yours can’t end like this.

             _You were always so supportive of each other, and mellowed, unlike me and Tyler…I know you can work things out if you talk – I felt more excited.

             _Maybe I could…no, this is crazy…

             _What? – Chris asked.

             _Go to London to see her, and apologize, and say everything I’m holding on to my chest. It can’t be over the phone. I need to look her in the eye.

             _It’s a great idea, Zig! You should surprise her, I will send you her address.

             _But I have no money to afford a ticket to London. I spent almost everything I had in Japan… - I could see Abbie and Chris exchanging a look.

             _What if…we chip in and buy you a ticket? – I looked at Chris, startled.

             _What? I…no, I couldn’t accept.

             _Zig, we love Scarlett and you, you’re our dear friends and we want the best for you. If this makes you and her feel better, I’m sure the others would love to help – that was awesome. I started to cry again, but now with joy.

            _I…wow, I don’t even know what to say. You’re the best friends a guy could ask for – I stood up and wrapped the two of them in tight hugs.

            _So, how about you go Friday night?

            _I could go now, Abbie! But Friday night looks great.

_

               All the way to London, I kept thinking about everything I wanted to say to Scarlett. I repeated the words in my head over and over again. At the same time I had a pitch of hope in my heart that we could be together again, I was afraid she wouldn’t want to. After everything I did, she had a right not to want to forgive me. I took a taxi to the address Abbie texted me and knocked on the door louder than I wanted. I finally heard the sound of a key opening it.

               _Hey…what are you doing here? – there she was. As beautiful as I remembered. It was almost four years since I first saw her, but she was still able to take my breath away. Scarlett. The woman I loved more than anything. The woman who changed my life forever.

               _I’m here for you, Scarlett. I can’t do this anymore – I was so nervous I was trembled – Can I…come in? – she hesitated for a few seconds. Oh, great. She will slam the door in my face, I deserve it. But no, she moved aside so I could get into her flat. I sighed and looked into her beautiful brown eyes – I love you, Scarlett, and I made a huge mistake. The way we left things, I half expected you to slam the door in my face. And I would have deserved it. But…Scarlett, I can’t stand being without you – I ran my hand through my hair and sighed again – I keep thinking about our last fight. I was such an idiot. I was so excited about Japan, I didn’t think about what it would mean for you. You were right to call me on it. I took you for granted, and just assumed your support was a given. I’m so, so sorry Scarlett. I love you, Scarlett. I love you and miss you. Please take me back – the words came easily, better than I expected. She looked at me sweetly.

               _Oh, Zig…I missed you too. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about you – she smiled shyly – it doesn’t help that my flat looks out onto a dance studio. Every Thursday they teach ballroom dance, and I think of our vacation – I smiled too.

              _We certainly taught the folks at Golden Oaks a thing or two, didn’t we? – I approached her slowly, and took her hand. That was the first time I touched her after those two months apart. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her with just that gesture – I know I screwed up. We should have talked about our plans for graduation months before now. In hindsight, I realize you tried to bring it up, but I assumed things would just “work out” because we loved each other.

             _What are you saying?

             _Why don’t we have that talk now? And this time, I’ll listen. Please give me another chance – I looked at her and she just looked me in the eye. For the first time, I couldn’t realize what she was thinking. I didn’t know if she would fight me again, or let go of my hand, until she finally spoke.

             _Yes, yes, yes! – she squeezed my hand and smiled, that smile I loved so much, lightening up her face.

             _Y-you mean it? – I asked, stammering, eyes wide. That was too good to be true. Still smiling, she nodded, and before I knew, she launched herself in my arms and kissed me. That was our first kiss in two months and, wow, how I missed feeling her lips on mine. I held her as tightly as I could, but nothing seemed enough.

             _It’s been too long since I’ve been kissed senseless, Zig – she smirked. Was she daring me like we used to do? I laughed, I was so happy to got her back. I just bit her lower lip and whispered.

             _Guess I’ve got some catching up to do – I took her in my arms again and guided her against the wall while I kissed her as if it were the last thing I would do in my life. I was remembering everything, her taste, her scent, her warmth, the feeling of tangling my fingers in her hair, not that I had forgotten, but the reality was better than any fantasy. I lost track of time and stopped when we were both gasping for air.

             _Zig, one. Senses, zero – she joked, but I could tell she was a little dizzy. I laughed at her joke, at the effect I had on her and all the happiness I was feeling. But we needed to talk.

            _I’m serious, though. What do we want our future to look like? Honestly, as long as we’re together, I’m good with anything.

           _I want…to go to Japan with you – what? Did she really say that?

           _Are you sure? I don’t want you to give up your dream for me.

           _I’m sure. Like you said, we should have talked about your placement beforehand. If we had, I would have told you to go for it. I knew it was coming after all. I was just hurt that you decided for both of us, and I needed to choose something for myself – I looked down, embarrassed. She noticed, then smiled and took my hands – so I chose Quills and gave it a shot. But now…I’m choosing you. I want to travel with you to Japan. I want to learn a new language. I want to explore the unknown with you – that was too good to be true. But after all, I didn’t want her to feel she had to go to Japan with me just because I wanted to.

            _Scarlett, that’s amazing, but your writing’s important. Will you feel fulfilled in Japan? Quills sounded like a dream job.

            _It’s definitely someone’s dream job. Just not mine. I’ve read Quills Magazine. They’re really influential in the European journalism scene, but I don’t think that’s my scene. I won’t stop writing in Japan. I’ll keep hustling. I’ll send in applications. But as long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy – she took my face in her hands and caressed my cheek before kissing me again. I rested my forehead on hers. That was everything I wanted. Japan wouldn’t be the same without her – I never dreamed you would follow me all the way to London – I pulled back and smiled at her.

            _You should thank our friends – I told her about Chris’ idea. She grinned that way I loved – and they were so sure we would make up that they buy me a ticket back to US just for tomorrow night! I don’t know where I would sleep if you didn’t want to come back to me.

             _Well, I wouldn’t let you sleep on the street, or at the airport – she smiled and hugged me – and does that mean you will be here for the weekend? That’s great! I’m not ready to let you go yet! – we giggled – and we should have some fun! I’ll show you my favorite spots in London, pubs, restaurants, parks, shops…

             _By the way, is this dress new? – I pointed to the beautiful velvet dress she was wearing. I must not know much about women’s fashion, but I did know when an outfit looked good on her – I don’t think I ever saw you wear it. Did you buy here?

             _Well, it was bought here, but by my mother. Did you know she also lived here when she was my age? – she told me about her mother living here, and we had an incredible afternoon together (she was happy when I returned the necklace), she took me to the Tower of London, then we had dinner and some drinks in a pub before I took her to my surprise in Big Ben (thanks, Aaron!) where we could satisfy our desires and show how much we missed each other. I have to say, I would never have imagined one day I would have sex inside Big Ben! But I’m glad it was with Scarlett. And I was madly missing having her body against mine. Sunday night came and I traveled back to Hartfeld, but I didn’t get on the plane before Scarlett covered me with kisses, and I, of course, did the same. The travel back was much better that the outward one. I couldn’t wait for her to come home.

_

               The following Saturday, I was driving to Scarlett’s parents’ house. She was staying in England for two more weeks and asked me to bring back to Hartfeld some of her clothes that were in the Thomas. But I also something else to talk to them about. Very important. I told my mom about it and she gave me all the support I needed. Therese and Louis opened the door when I arrived. Both of them smiling widely at me.

               _Zig! It’s so good to see you again!

               _It’s good to see you too, Louis – I hugged them both.

               _Scarlett’s clothes are already in her bag, but I hope you stay a little longer – I noticed that, although they were separated, they seemed to get along very well. I couldn’t say they were facing a crisis if I didn’t know. This was good. Maybe they were reconciling and Scarlett would be happy – do you want to have lunch with us?

               _I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you.

               _Nonsense, Zig. You’re very welcome here. And we’re so happy you and Scarlett are back together! – Louis said. I smiled bashfully.

               _Yeah, I’m very happy too. And I must apologize to you, for everything I said and did to your daughter. It was the worst mistake of my life – Therese smiled sweetly at me.

               _You don’t have to apologize. You two are young, are still learning to deal with relationship issues. If even older people have problems… - she glanced at Louis. But I felt more relieved. After what I did, I was afraid they would…well, it doesn’t matter anymore.

                _Well, I’m glad you are not mad at me. Because I want to talk to you about something very important.

                _Oh, what it would be? – Louis said and sat on the couch. Therese and I did the same. I was sat in an armchair in front of them. I was just as nervous as the first time I met them. I sighed and could feel my heart calming. Okay, Zig. You can do it.

               _First of all, I want to say that all this time apart only made me see how much I love Scarlett and how lucky I am for having her in my life. When I first met her, I was unhappy with my life and all my dreams of having a college degree and working with something I like were kind of dead inside of me. But then I met her and she made me see how much I was worth and that I could do anything I want. My life changed because of her, not only because she inspired me to it, but also because I could see a future with her. I love her with all my heart and soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to introduce her to people as my wife – I looked at Louis – you said that day that you gave me permission to propose to Scarlett. But after everything that had happened, I don’t know if I still have it. So I want to ask: do I still have permission to marry Scarlett? – they had an unreadable expression in their faces, which made me even more nervous.

               _Zig, of course you have permission! You make Scarlett so happy that it also makes us happy.

               _Louis is right, Zig. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my daughter so happy since you started dating. You supported her through all the difficulties she had over these three years you’re together and it’s good to know there’s someone is looking after her – they grinned at me and I smiled back. Kindness was definitely a family thing.

               _Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.

               _And…Scarlett told us you’re going to Japan after graduation? – Therese asked and I told them all about the teaching abroad program while we eat. I had a wonderful time with my girlfriend’s parents and never felt so welcome somewhere before. What happened was water under the bridge and I got a new chance to make things right. I drove the way back to Hartfeld, thinking about how I would propose to Scarlett. The night before the graduation could be a good one. Louis mentioned he was thinking of making a reservation at a nice restaurant to celebrate our graduation and all our friends would be invited. I was already saving money to buy a ring, and it had to be a gorgeous ring, just like Scarlett. I couldn’t wait to propose to her. I was more than ready to take the next step with her.

            While she was away, I thought that I had lost her forever. The days without her were the worst of my life. Since I met her, since I laid eyes on her for the first time, she never left my thoughts. But now I’ve got her back. And I would cherish that to the fullest. Because I knew what it feels when she’s not around. I would dedicate my life to making her happy. Even more than I ever did before.    

[early20thcenturynerd]

“My sweet darling wife

Here I am in the funniest little room imaginable writing my first letter to my ‘wife.’ Is it not strange? We have been married for more than four months and yet this is my first letter to you since then! We had quite a rough passage across the channel, and as I secretly and quietly placed - (something!!) - in my pocket for safe keeping in anticipation of a dire calamity - I thought of you and and rejoiced that I had had courage to leave you behind. Such a pitching and tossing as we had - and how ludicrous the passengers looked with their long white faces - and each one with a basin on his knee! I was innocent of basins and enjoyed the voyage from Folkestone to Boulogne pretty fairly. I commenced the voyage with a hearty breakfast and really felt I had appeased my appetite - but alas! alas! accidents happened and by the time I reached Boulogne I was again famishing and had to make a second meal.

I reached Paris about dusk - telegraphed to you - and drove here. I have seen no one yet. Letters await me from Mr. Le Gay, and Mr. Aylmer making appointments for tomorrow. As Monsieur Niaudet has not made his appearance and it is now past eight o'clock I am going out to try and find Monsieur Favarger. If he can spare time tomorrow he may be of great use to me as an interpreter - and beside I want to see him for the sake of Auld Lang Syne.

Presentimente are not always correct and nothing has happened to me yet. But - my darling - you are so nervous that you must try for my sake - for your own sake - and for sake to avoid premonitions of evil. I wish I could put my arms round you and give you a good hug and banish all anxious thoughts from your mind you dear dear dear little wife. If you feel anxious or worried please take up a novel right off and read all anxious thoughts away.

I wonder what you have been doing all day - and whether you have decided to go to Sophie's or to stay in Jermyn St. all by yourself.

Some one has come for me - So

10:30 p. m.

It was Monsieur Niaudet and we have been talking ever since eight. I shall see Mr. Le Gay at 10 o'clock tomorrow then go to Mr. Aylmer's - return here by 12:30 for lunch.

In the afternoon I am to visit Mr. Pierret - Superintendent of French Telegraphe - and the Minister of War - and intend to give them telephones for experimental purposes. I have arranged with Monsieur Niaudet to have my Lecture translated and published in France. He to undertake the expenses and I to receive one-half the profits.

I thought to have written more but must stop. Good night my own sweet May. I wish I could give you just one kiss. It is so lonely without you.

Your loving husband. 

Alec.”

- Alexander Graham Bell to Mabel Bell, 21st November 1877

[drxcos]

[WORD DOC] Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one char

[WORD DOC] Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one char

Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one character from our authors from weeks five and six The Character I have chose is Aylmer in Nathaniel Hawthornes The Birthmark Questions to consider as you brainstorm the essay’s content: What kinds of traits does this character exhibit? How are these traits expressed within the story? Why are these traits important to the…

[clunce]

Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one char

Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one char

Individualism and Imagination (the Romantics) In 500-750 words, analyze one character from our authors from weeks five and six The Character I have chose is Aylmer in Nathaniel Hawthornes The Birthmark Questions to consider as you brainstorm the essay’s content: What kinds of traits does this character exhibit? How are these traits expressed within the story? Why are these traits important to the…

[fuckithqs]

Hey AMBER! Welcome to fuckithqs, we can’t wait to rp with JOACHIM / TAIKA WAITITI, ROBERT / COLIN DONNELL, MARNIX / NICK ROBINSON, MEES CASTLE / JENSEN, EUGENE / HARRY SHUM JR., LUCAS / DIEGO BONETA, BRAM / DARREN CRISS, TYSON / CAMERON BOYCE, PRESLEY / HERMAN TOMMERAAS, DANNE / MATTHEW DADDARIO, JONAS / BRETT DALTON, JAE / DANIEL GILLIES, FABIAN / DOUGLAS BOOTH, LEVI / DACRE MONTGOMERY, CAI / DANIEL SHARMAN, CONNOR / HUNTER PARRISH, REINOUD / IAN BOHEN, STEIN / DAVID GIUNTOLI, DAMIAAN / JEREMY JORDAN && many more! Please get your account in / post your intros asap!

FLOYD ELWES looks an awful lot like LOGAN SHROYER. HE is EIGHTEEN and while they're SPONTANEOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty STUBBORN. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to LOVE by LANA DEL REY. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

GREGG CURITS looks an awful lot like MATT BOMER. HE is FORTY and while they're CARING, they have a tendency to get pretty RESTLESS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PASSPORT HOME by JP COOPER. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

RAFE ELIOT looks an awful lot like ALEX ROE. HE is TWENTY EIGHT and while they're DARING, they have a tendency to get pretty BOLD. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FRIDAY NIGHT by VIGILAND. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MALCOLM MORRIS looks an awful lot like BRYAN DECHART. HE is THIRTY and while they're ADVENTUROUS, they have a tendency to get pretty NAIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HEY MARIO by PATENT PENDING. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DEVAUGHN O'SULLIVAN looks an awful lot like COLIN O'DONOGHUE. HE is THIRTY FIVE and while they're BRAVE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARROGANT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to TRUTH TO POWER by ONEREPUBLIC. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

JAXON WILLIAMSON looks an awful lot like JESSE WILLIAMS. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they're IMAGINATIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty DISHONEST. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BEAUTIFUL ONES by HURTS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MAXIMILIAN WARNER looks an awful lot like FROY GUTIERREZ. HE is NINETEEN and while they're ADROIT, they have a tendency to get pretty ANXIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF by JESS GLYNNE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

LANDON NORWOOD looks an awful lot like KJ APA. HE is TWENTY and while they're FLAMBOYANT, they have a tendency to get pretty MALADROIT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to WHAT DO I DO by SJUR. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

TRISTAN OSBOURNE looks an awful lot like BRANDON QUINN. HE is FORTY ONE and while they're ALLURING, they have a tendency to get pretty FICKLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to RIPTIDE by VANCE JOY. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

IRA DRAKE looks an awful lot like THOMAS DOHERTY. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they're COMPETITIVE, they have a tendency to get OVERLY DETERMINED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to OUTSIDE by CALVIN HARRIS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

KEVYN WHITE looks an awful lot like ORLANDO BLOOM. HE is FORTY TWO and while they're CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty EGOISTICAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to NO GREY by THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

BRENT WOLFE looks an awful lot like ANDREW J WEST. HE is THIRTY THREE and while they're OPEN-MINDED, they have a tendency to get pretty EASILY DISTRACTED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to TIMES LIKE THESE by FOO FIGHTERS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

KAIDEN ELMER looks an awful lot like DJ COTRONA. HE is THIRTY EIGHT and while they're CREATIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty LAZY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BEST OF YOU by FOO FIGHTERS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

LENNOX SMYTHE looks an awful lot like HENRY CAVILL. HE is THIRTY ONE and while they're GENEROUS, they have a tendency to get pretty IMMATURE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to OCEANS by SEAFRET. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

NOEL HEPBURN  looks an awful lot like CHRIS PRATT. HE is THIRTY EIGHT and while they're HUMOROUS, they have a tendency to get pretty SENSITIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to NOVEMBER HAS COME by GORILLAZ. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

FARON AUSTIN looks an awful lot like OSCAR ISAAC. HE is THIRTY SEVEN and while they're DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty PRETENTIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOLO by FRANK OCEAN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

KAEDAN SPEIGHT looks an awful lot like SHAWN MENDES. HE is EIGHTEEN and while they're ORGANIZED, they have a tendency to get pretty CYNICAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SLEEPLESS by FLUME. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CY MUNSON looks an awful lot like CHARLIE HUNNAM. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they're TRUTHFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty GRUMPY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IT GETS BETTER by DOTAN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MILO DANIELS looks an awful lot like SCOTT EASTWOOD. HE is THIRTY TWO and while they're HONEST, they have a tendency to get pretty GREEDY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to LURK by THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DARIAN HERBERTSON looks an awful lot like JAMIE DORNAN. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they're FLEXIBLE, they have a tendency to get pretty IMPATIENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IDFC by BLACKBEAR. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

RICHARD WILCOX looks an awful lot like JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN. HE is FIFTY TWO and while they're BRAVE, they have a tendency to get pretty SARCASTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to WORST IN ME by UNLIKE PLUTO. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

RAYNER HARDING looks an awful lot like ROBERT DOWNEY JR. HE is FORTY SEVEN and while they're AMBITIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty ANXIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FEELINGS ARE FATAL by MXMTOON. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

HALE SAMUELSON looks an awful lot like RYAN GOSLING. HE is THIRTY SEVEN and while they're ADAPTABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty ACERBIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FOLLOW YOUR FIRE by KODALINE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DANELL HAINES looks an awful lot like JON HAMM.  HE is FORTY SEVEN and while they're ADROIT, they have a tendency to get pretty SOFT HEADED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to LITTLE TALKS by OF MONSTERS AND MEN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ASLAN MACAR looks an awful lot like BERK CANKAT. HE is THIRTY FOUR and while they're PLACID, they have a tendency to get pretty SATURNINE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to AFTERLIFE by XYLO. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ADAM SERGEANT looks an awful lot like DYLAN O'BRIEN. HE is TWENTY FOUR and while they're STAUNCH, they have a tendency to get pretty AIRY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BLOSSOM by MILKY CHANCE. ( amber. 20. she/her. tz. )

LYNTHON MACEY looks an awful lot like ZAC EFRON. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're MAVERICK, they have a tendency to get pretty DISPUTATIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BROKEN by GORILLAZ. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

IRVIN AYLMER looks an awful lot like SEBASTIAN STAN. HE is THIRTY THREE and while they're PUNCTUAL, they have a tendency to get pretty NEFARIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to STIGMA by AMARANTE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

AUGUST MALEKO looks an awful lot like JASON MOMOA. HE is THIRTY EIGHT and while they're ELOQUENT, they have a tendency to get pretty ACERBIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to MONSTERS by RUELLE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

TERRANCE BATESON looks an awful lot like AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON. HE is TWENTY EIGHT and while they're CANDID, they have a tendency to get pretty RIGID. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FLARES by THE SCRIPT. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CHARLIE FAIRBURN looks an awful lot like CHRIS PINE. HE is THIRTY SEVEN and while they're CONCILIATORY, they have a tendency to get pretty LOQUACIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HYMN FOR THE WEEKEND by COLDPLAY. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CYPRIAN TRAYLOR looks an awful lot like CHRIS HEMSWORTH. HE is THIRTY FOUR and while they're INCISIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty ERRATIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to TEAM by KREWELLA. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

SPENCER ROYCESTON looks an awful lot like CHRIS EVANS. HE is THIRTY SEVEN and while they're DEXTEROUS, they have a tendency to get pretty TACITURN. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to CALLING ME by AQUILO. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

FOSTER SEABROOKE looks an awful lot like BEN BARNES. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they're INDOMITABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty SADISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FEATHERY by MILKY CHANCE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

NEAL WATERMAN looks an awful lot like TYLER HOECHLIN. HE is THIRTY and while they're CORDIAL, they have a tendency to get pretty RETICENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to EVERYBODY GETS HIGH by MISSIO. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

RAFAEL BOSQUE looks an awful lot like SEAN TEALE. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're EXUBERANT, they have a tendency to get pretty INCURIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BE HAPPY by FRND. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

IVAN EVERLY looks an awful lot like JESSE LEE SOFFER. HE is THIRTY FOUR and while they're STEADFAST, they have a tendency to get pretty PHLEGMATIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SONS by CONCORDE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DAVID RADEMAKERS looks an awful lot like SKEET ULRICH. HE is FORTY EIGHT and while they're ALTRUISTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty PESSIMISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DRUGS by EDEN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CREIGHTON SPELLMAYER looks an awful lot like BRENDON URIE. HE is THIRTY ONE and while they're METICULOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty CASUISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to I’LL BE GOOD by JAYMES YOUNG. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ALAN LANGLOIS looks an awful lot like CHRIS WOOD. HE is THIRTY and while they're STUDIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty SLY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to FAKE YOU OUT by TWENTY ONE PILOTS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

NIKOLAY FORNIER looks an awful lot like JACK FALAHEE. HE is TWENTY NINE and while they're RESILIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty BOISTEROUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to ALL I WANT by KODALINE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

STEFAN MITCHELL looks an awful lot like GREGG SULKIN. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're PERSPICACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty POSSESSIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COLOR BLIND by DIPLO. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

EMMET COLEMAN looks an awful lot like ALFRED ENOCH. HE is TWENTY NINE and while they're EFFERVESCENT, they have a tendency to get pretty DECADENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HOME by MORGXN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

JONATHAN ZAMAN looks an awful lot like AVAN JOGIA. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're AMIABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty APATHETIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PUMPED UP KICKS by FOSTER THE PEOPLE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CASSIAN TRAVER looks an awful lot like KEITH POWERS. HE is TWENTY FIVE and while they're VEHEMENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SANCTIMONIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to WAKE THE WARRIOR by DROELOE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ADRIAN CAVEY looks an awful lot like RICHARD MADDEN. HE is THIRTY TWO and while they're ALLOCENTRIC, they have a tendency to get pretty STUBBORN. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to R U MINE? by ARCTIC MONKEYS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

SANDER HOFFMAN looks an awful lot like ADAM DRIVER. HE is THIRTY FOUR and while they're SOLICITOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty IRASCIBLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PANIC ROOM by AU/RA. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

THEODOR HOUTMAN looks an awful lot like KIT HARINGTON. HE is THIRTY ONE and while they're ALLURING, they have a tendency to get pretty RIGID. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to NANCY DREW by SLOTFACE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MASON ANDERSON looks an awful lot like NICK ZANO. HE is FORTY and while they're HUMBLE, they have a tendency to get pretty PHLEGMATIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to XO by EDEN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ESPEN ACKER looks an awful lot like TYLER YOUNG. HE is TWENTY SEVEN and while they're PLACID, they have a tendency to get pretty TACTLESS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to RUNAWAY by AURORA. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

LUKA SAUTER looks an awful lot like AARON TVEIT. HE is THIRTY FOUR and while they're RESILIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty IMPRUDENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEASONS OF LOVE by RENT. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DAMIAAN ACHTERBERG looks an awful lot like JEREMY JORDAN. HE is JEREMY JORDAN and while they're COMPASSIONATE, they have a tendency to get pretty FRIVOLOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HIGHWAY TO HELL by AC/DC. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

STEIN MACCLERY looks an awful lot like DAVID GIUNTOLI. HE is THIRTY EIGHT and while they're DEXTEROUS, they have a tendency to get pretty INCURIOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DOWN BY THE RIVER by MILKY CHANCE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

REINOUD ABBEY looks an awful lot like IAN BOHEN. HE is FORTY ONE and while they're JOVIAL, they have a tendency to get pretty ACERBIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BLACK MAGIC by JAYMES YOUNG. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CONNOR WÄGNER looks an awful lot like HUNTER PARRISH. HE is THIRTY ONE and while they're PERSPICACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty CASUISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IT’S OKAY by DANDELION HANDS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

CAI WICKHAM looks an awful lot like DANIEL SHARMAN. HE is THIRTY TWO and while they're OPTIMISTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty FANCIFUL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to TOO LATE TO SAY GOODBYE by CAGE THE ELEPHANT. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

LEVI ALBINSSON looks an awful lot like DACRE MONTGOMERY. HE is TWENTY THREE and while they’re EMPATHETIC, they have a tendency to get pretty MEALYMOUTHED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to YOU DON’T KNOW ME by ARMAN CEKIN. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

FABIAN LUND looks an awful lot like DOUGLAS BOOTH. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're PRIM, they have a tendency to get pretty INDULGENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THE NIGHT WE MET by LORD HURON. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

JAE TEUNISSEN looks an awful lot like DANIEL GILLIES. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re CONSCIENTIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty HAUGHTY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BROTHER by KODALINE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

JONAS RHODES looks an awful lot like BRETT DALTON. HE is THIRTY FIVE and while they're ASSERTIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty TACTLESS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HAPPY PILLS by WEATHERS. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

DANNE BIERMANN looks an awful lot like MATTHEW DADDARIO. HE is THIRTY and while they're FELICIFIC, they have a tendency to get pretty DECEITFUL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to NAIVE by RKCB. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

PRESLEY MILLIGAN looks an awful lot like HERMAN TOMMERAAS. HE is TWENTY ONE and while they're EXUBERANT, they have a tendency to get pretty RECALCITRANT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BLOOD AND BONES by TRACE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

TYSON SEWARD looks an awful lot like CAMERON BOYCE. HE is NINETEEN and while they're RESILIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty CYNICAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DAY 1 by HONNE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

BRAM MEISNER looks an awful lot like DARREN CRISS. HE is THIRTY ONE and while they're FERVID, they have a tendency to get pretty IRASCIBLE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to IF I TREMBLE  by JACK GRACE. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

LUCAS BASQUE looks an awful lot like DIEGO BONETA. HE is TWENTY SEVEN and while they're JOVIAL, they have a tendency to get pretty INDULGENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to WHATEVER COMES TO MIND by MORMOR. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

EUGENE ZHAO looks an awful lot like HARRY SHUM JR. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they're INDOMITABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty CANTANKEROUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to EASIER by MANSIONAIR. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MEES CASTLE looks an awful lot like JENSEN ACKLES. HE is FORTY and while they're CORDIAL, they have a tendency to get pretty MEALYMOUTHED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SPECTACULAR RIVAL by GEORGE EZRA. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

MARNIX FELDT looks an awful lot like NICK ROBINSON. HE is TWENTY THREE and while they're EBULLIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty UNSCRUPULOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THIS IS GONNA HURT by SIXX:A.M.. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

ROBERT CASTELO looks an awful lot like COLIN DONNELL. HE is THIRTY FIVE and while they're INSOUCIANT, they have a tendency to get pretty IMPETUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to INVISIBLE by LINKIN PARK. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

JOACHIM TAUMATA looks an awful lot like TAIKA WAITITI. HE is FORTY TWO and while they're ANDROIT, they have a tendency to get pretty RIGID. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THE WORLD CAN WAIT by WAYLON. ( amber. 20. she/her. gmt+1. )

i’m back, daaarlings!!