#Avon Body Illusions

[khristie16]

Table number six p.2/...

pairing: charles leclerc x reader summary: you decided to disappear from your hometown with your bestfriend, finding the anchor in Monaco. With your talent to be in the right place at the right time you got yourself to some fine situation PS summary: Does first touch precede love at first sight? Warnings: google translated French, smuttish thoughts Word count: 3.5K

(Her eyes are so beautiful. Her whole face is so beautiful. It forces me to smile like a little boy, red cheeks and cheeky smile. It compels me to go right after her. Be closer to her. I cannot though. So I'm holding myself back. Keeping my eyes away from her. And yet this little part of me - at least I thought it's little, aches for her and I want to know, If she feels the same.) -

You definitely wouldn't thought being on the right place, at the right time meant embarrassing yourself and all of it coming from a bunch of coincidences. As you were passing by between the tables, you stopped at your favorite one. Asking once again if they are satisfied with the service and the food. Nous avons tout, merci beaucoup. We have everything, thank you very much. You smiled at the old lady and that is when you recognized the great piece of clothing she's wearing from your favorite designer. (OMG!) Is that the collection called les bons souvenirs?? The old lady was looking at you confused. It took you a while it clicked. Je suis désolé, je demandais si c'était la collection les bons souvenir? You smiled and hoped that everything is fine between the two of you. (Is it mean to talk about her clothes right now?) Your prayers had been heard and she smiled widely. Yes, it is. You know this brand? Your eyes lit up, slightly surprised she is speaking English now. Yes! They are my favorite. I love their collection, especially this one! I have one piece of clothing from them and I just love how the material hugs my body. It is like a bunch of feathers caressing me haha. - you were so focused on the conversation that you haven't noticed that the certain guy furrowed his eyebrows at your comment. Qui, I know what you mean. I like them a lot as well. She smiled more once again and you reciprocated. In the meantime - in your mind, you thought how surprised you are by her level of English. It was very good indeed. Actually I noticed your necklace that you're wearing. You snapped back to reality and what you see in front of you as you grabbed your necklace and smiled widely. -

Don't you forget my beautiful girl - As you looked into her eyes, full of excitement. - The swan represents deep, true and lasting love. No matter what you see at home, no matter what you see outside, what you see anywhere around you, it doesn't hold the truth. You can decide what is true to you and what is not. Swan dies with her life partner. I found such love. You will feel it as well, when you will meet the right one. Just keep your eyes open, and hold your own truth. No matter what others tell you or show you. Even if they do it right in front of your eyes. It is an illusion. -

Ah yes, it was a gift. As you were smiling on the thing you were between your fingers, the little white swan, your eyes got a little bit sad. -

Have you seen her ass? You mean the waitress? Yeah. I'd love a hold of that. I have an idea. -

She asked you more questions about where are you from and what you are actually doing there and for how long. You told her practically everything. You felt like you could speak to her the whole evening and never get tired of it. You saw a mother figure in her. The mother you've always wanted. She has such a nice energy around her. Always genuinely smiling at you and listening to you dearly. Yet you didn't even notice that each member of that table was listening to you as well. Thinking nicely of you. When you came to an end of your long monologue about your decision to change your life, you looked around. Everyone was smiling at you. Expect for the guy that was sitting on the left, the closest to you. He wasn't even looking at you. At least you got the chance to take a proper look of him. Scanning his side profile. He was indeed…handsome. There was something about him, making him so manly. (He could definitely teach me a lesson in bed…wait what?) You gulped a little and looked back at the lady, who caught your attention on her son and looked back at him immediately. Smiling widely. As if SHE KNEW. From such situation you turned red as a tomato. As you wanted to talk yourself out of this situation and disappear, she started talking again. Your level of French is good. I wouldn't even recognize you are not native. Ah, thank you very much. My friend helped me a lot - you smiled. Your friend? Is it a man? (What?) Ehm, no. I live with my best friend Mary. I meant her. Ah, that is good. But your necklace is very beautiful. You said it was a gift? Yes, I got it from my aunt. I haven't seen her in years. She is living far away. I see. Sometimes it is hard not to see the people you love. But as long as you have them in your heart- I do, but still - I am glad I'm here in Monaco.

Suddenly someone bumped into you hard. You fell forward, right onto the guy. His face deep in your cleavage now. His hands up in the air and your palms all over his thighs. Making a temporary support for you. By your reflex, you wanted to get back obviously but you couldn't. Something was holding you back. Big hands. Squeezing your ass. The realization hit you hard. And your breasts were still making a point of interest number one for this guy. Each slight movement of you trying to desperately move away from his face, made you only moving from side to side since you couldn't go back - making his face a massaging tool for your breasts.

Hey! At this time you've heard Jean shouting. Thanks to that, the man let you and you finally felt free. You shifted back to a standing position. Looking back on the man furiously, trying to get hold of his face. But too late, you only saw his back and he was getting away fast. Jean shouted many swear words and told him to never come back. When he got the attention back to you, he walked toward you. Are you alright YN? he hold you by your shoulder. Ehm, yes. Of course. I'm fine. But.. mon dieu. What a…. Prick? Yes. I make sure he will never come back here again. We keep evidence of their names. You just nodded. Thanks Jean. Well your mood was certainly out of place. No doubt about that. The whole place was upside down, whenever your eyes wandered, you saw faces full of pity. And it made you feel even more anxious. You couldn't stay here for much longer. But you still knew you have one thing to do.

I am very sorry. I didn't mean to trip on you. Gesticulating with your hands towards the guy. It was embarrassing enough but he looked mad? His jaw tight. It appeared he wasn't even breathing for a sec. Well you certainly didn't have the time to argue with anyone and especially with this guy since this was not even your fault! As you were getting furious again, he spoke. It is not your fault - keeping his gaze in front of him. For the first you've heard his voice. Your mouth fell quite open as you were processing it, because - you liked his voice. The accent did something to you. Something you weren't paying so much attention right now, but late in the night, you will recall it for sure. You stopped to look at his lips. Waiting for him like he is about to say something. He intrigued you enough - (Why?) - and that made you uncomfortable. YN, right? - the old lady asked. You turned your gaze to her. I'm Pascale. Friend of Jean's is a friend of mine. She offered you a little smile. You smiled at her too, but honestly you wanted to be anywhere else but here. You got embarrassed enough.You felt dirty. So mostly from now on you kept your head down. Thinking of anything how to keep your mind occupied, your eyes cascading from one point to another, trying not to catch one of those pitiful faces around you. Crunching your fingers having them by your side was a bad habit of yours when you were nervous. As you inhaled and wanted to get back to work, Jean spoke up.

YN, we will be ok without you. What about I will take you home? you looked at him. Really? But - you still have many diners here. No, it is ok. We will manage somehow - offering you a weak smile. What about my son Charles taking you home? If it were be snapped on a camera shot, it would be hilarious to look at that. Everyone turned their heads towards Pascale in a second - looking shocked. But especially you since it was about you the most. Pascale's expression was like Hey, what are you looking at me like that? Well, Jean - you need to stay here. You are understaffed today. And since I am your friend and now YN's as well, I'd like to help you out, both of you. Charles has a car here, he will gladly take you home YN.

You just thought O-MY-GOD. You looked like you need a tequila shot. You tried for a polite smile, looking to the ground with your eyes wide open and answered I will then change to my clothes and wait outside - as you put your head up, you said goodbye to the whole table, offering a polite smile and thanked Pascale for her help. Jean kissed you on both cheeks and told you to call him if you need anything and that he will call you tomorrow about your money. You just nodded and went to change. -

Tu n'as pas de problème avec ça charles n'est-ce pas? Non non maman - Charles kissed her mom on cheeks. Said goodbye to everyone and kissed her girlfriend on the forehead. Saying he will be back shortly. As he stood up and went for his car, he felt that something's gonna change. -

(Perfect, as if it could get any worse.) You didn't have any particular problem with him. But he certainly had a problem with you. OBVIOUSLY. It was uncomfortable to you. Like right now you are put in a position of a small child being told what to do by her mum. You were mad at yourself for letting that happen. You could have said no. A simple NO. You titled your head as you were processing it. That is exactly why you got out of your hometown for this exact reason, not to be told what to do anymore.

You got out of the changing room and went for the exit. The warm yet colder air outside hit your face and you felt like you could finally breath. You inhaled deeply and let your body let loose. Taking a break from all the stress you've been put up with within the last few hours and let your body feel free. As you opened your eyes again, you saw Charles leaning back of his car looking at you, having sunglasses on. (Weird. As if the sun is on the horizon now haha) You concentrated on your steps as you were going down the stairs. -

As I was minding my own business, she caught my attention when appearing on the top of the stairs. I took a look at her. A proper look. She was standing there, her eyes closed and smiling a little to herself. She now looked more innocent, more calm than before. She kept still with her eyes closed. As she stayed there like this, it was like she was calling for me. Waiting for me to get her. I imagined her she is standing on top of the hill, waiting for me to come to her and take her orders. Serve her as she is supposed to be served. Help her fulfill her dreams, make every desire of hers possible. Like my whole life depends on it. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at me. Her gaze bore into mine even from afar. Yet I felt she is so close to me. Shivers went down my spine. I was watching how her beautiful white dress hugged her body, her waist, her hips, her thighs - yeah, she could definitely hug me with these when getting down on her… Her hair were let loose as well, getting played by the wind. Framing her face and revealing it all at the same time. Making me feel like she is a woman of many faces, beautiful faces. I was mesmerized. She really moved with grace. My body stiffened all of sudden the closer she got. When she finally got next to me, I cleared my throat and stood up properly. -

Charles opened the door for you - to your surprise. Oh why, thank you. You said nicely and smiled at him. He looked at you, slightly confused and like he is touched by your words. To his own astonishment he looked to the side and waited patiently for you to hop inside. Your smile slowly disappeared. (That is gonna be a long way to go). As you hopped inside, he closed the door and went to his side. You were suddenly feeling butterflies in your stomach. (What is happening?) You gulped a little and fidgeted. Hugging your thighs with your palms. Trying to focus on the material of your dress rather than his presence. Even though his presence was so attractive to you. Suddenly and thankfully a thought came to your mind - you don't even know in which car you are sitting right now. As Charles was starting the car, you asked. What is this car? You looked at him. He looked at you, still looking like you said something unforgivable. (Well this is cringe). Ferrari 488 Pista Spider. Oh, - you said - that is very specific. (more of like very cringe. Why are you being dumb now?) You titled your head. I mean, of course - you know your car. Tic tac, tic tac. Tic tac, tic tac. SILENCE. (Oh dear God, why am I stupid. Why do I care once again? It's not that I like him or something.) Do you want some music? he asked you. He got you out of your spiraling thoughts. Ehm - yeah, sure. Ok, you can choose the radio station. As he pointed out on to radio, turning it on. You moved forward feeling self conscious. Yet you were able to focus on the radio after a while. You paused switching the stations when you've heard a song from Two feet. One of your favorite interprets. In a second you started jamming to the sounds and humming together, while laying yourself back to the seat. After some time passed and looking outside the window you asked.

WAIT, How do you know where to go? as you looked back at him, little bit startled. Charles was not bothered at all by your tone, yet your question. You saw a smile creeping up on his face. Jean told me meanwhile you were changing. Ah. You nodded. It is true that Jean was asking you in which part of Monaco you live, for the very first time you two met at his mom's cafeteria. And Charles once again got you back from the inside of your mind. You like this music? Your eyes clicked from his face to the radio, back to him. Yes, I like this music. It is very…sensual. Plus it is still more about the background rather than the lyrics so I overhear it as much as possible and then I try to play it on the piano. They have indeed beautiful songs. - ….. - That is why I like them. They speak to me through emotions. - okey, wow, can we pause for a second? (Like when have I talked this much about music?) Your eyes back on the road trying to forget this whole situation. (Cazzo!) Shutting your eyes quickly. I actually understand you. I hear it as well. I just never got the chance to listen to them since I don't know them. But I believe in what you're saying. Really? - as you looked back at him. Yes, I play on the piano as well. That is when you were smiling again, genuinely. And he was too. (At least you found something in common if not anything else.) Still you decided to keep quiet from now on. Not wanting to talk about your emotions again at ALL. As you were getting closer to your place, you were getting more comfortable with the quietness between the two of you. But it hadn't stayed that way for so long.

Wait! What?! We are passed my place. You turned around to see the back of the car, looking through the back glass and trying to find a familiar street for you to tell him, where he needs to take a turn. -

As I was thinking about this whole situation, YN startled me with her attentive voice. - I loved her soft voice actually. She was nice to listen to, even when she was talking about her dress caressing her skin haha. She is funnily sometimes, which always gets me smiling a little. I'd listen to her for hours, I liked when she was talking about her story, it made her feel so human and to my surprise I focused on each words that left her lips. - She told me that we are past her place and we need to go back. As she was leaning backward, with her torso twisted and her chest facing me, I took a look. The sight relived in me the memory of today's diner. When she tripped on me, I've had her breasts all over my face. Feeling her softness and smelling her scent. A mix of a vanilla with jasmine wood, cinnamon and a little bit of honey. I was trying to figure it out for the rest of the diner. I knew for a fact that this is one the most amazing smell I've had the chance to be in interaction with it. But that disgusting man, If I wouldn't have my girlfriend by my side, I'd punch him in the face. I regret it now. I should have done it. But then again, my girlfriend's face haunts me. I see her in front of me. -

As you were searching for your way out, you took a peak at Charles just to see he is pissed. (What is this guy's problem??) As you sat back down, facing the window, you've told him exactly where to go.

Yes, there it should be fine. Charles parked in front of your building. As you were going after the handle Charles stopped you with his words Don't. You froze and waited for him. He got out, walked to your doors and opened them for you. You smiled you didn't know. Bating your eyes at him - again, something you weren't aware of. Thank you. You said shyly and softly. Charles was still standing in front of you. And slowly taking his sunglasses off. Is this your place? - pointing on the right. Yes. As you both looked towards the doors. When you looked back at him, you finally saw his eyes from the front. (Are they green or brown? Hard to tell when it's dark outside) What? - he asked you, getting you out of your thoughts. (Was I obvious??) Nothing haha. (Fuck) - Ok, thank you once again. I'm gonna head home. And please say thank you to your mum. I appreciate it so much. He just nodded. Leaning his left hand to hold your right arm, kissing you on the cheeks. When it comes to this form of greeting, you got used to it already, yet with him, it made you nervous. Smelling him and feeling him, your knees got a little weak. You'd definitely let him touch your lips with his. Wanting to feel his lips closer to yours. As you breathed some oxygen again, you were conscious your cheeks are turning red. A little smile creeping on your face. (Thank God it is dark outside.) Au revoir Au revoir, prends soin de toi take care You nodded and as you were walking to the doors, you reminded yourself to NOT look back yet you wanted so badly. When you got behind the doors, shutting your eyes, Charles went back to his car. Sat down and smiled for himself. Still feeling your scent in his car, looking on the seat where you were sitting. Wanting to see you there once again, next to him. He felt like a little boy, once again, smiling from ear to ear, feeling something he hasn't felt in a long time. He came alive again.

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[theblackthornerose]

College of the Arts

Light cascaded through the vast entre hall of the Bardic College of Avon de Pris, rays of prismatic color shedding their luminescence across the centuries-old stonework. The day was bright and sunny and students, mentors and guildhall members walked busily to and fro on countless errands.

Classes were held in a dizzying variety of teaching venues, from gigantic libraries to small, cobblestone rooms in the lowest levels of the college. In all them, the flame of art and creativity was kept alive, as the most talented and passionate of Avon de Pris and the surrounding kingdoms were trained in the timeless classics.

The college was not as elitist as the Academy of Princes, nor as secretive and fiercely intercine as the College of Magic, both of which were other institutions of learning within Avon de Pris. Instead, the Bardic College was alive with music and color and frenetic energy of every variety. Where other schools had just one uniform for the student body, the Bardic College instead imposed general guidelines, leaving the students to wear and decorate their bodies in a multitude of fashions and cultures.

Despite these freewheeling ways, the Bardic College was still a school, and a school of artistic achievers. Success was demanded. Before a title of graduation could be granted, a student had to demonstrate mastery over many fields of creativity. Painting, poetry, prose, basic crafts, even no small amount of bladework as well. For the twist and turn of a blade in hand was just as artistic as that of any paintbrush or quill.

Illusionism was the chosen magical art for most Bards. While there were exceptions, it was certainly the accepted mainstream arcane tradition for the Bard College. So adept were the mentors of the Bardic College that fans of the college boasted that they equaled or even surpassed the Illusionists of the College of Magic. Illusions were used constantly in the college to enliven performances and, when necessary, to act as a means of defense.

Of course, such things were said in reverse, and there was no small amount of bickering among the good people of Avon de Pris over which side was right.

The Bardic College was world famous and Bards from other kingdoms, even other colleges, came from all over to visit Avon de Pris and its own Bardic traditions.

[ciancodona]

@iyazakbar​ [ closed starter ]

Well the Island had been another bloody shitehole of a mess.  People turning into zombies and walking themselves into life consuming flre... Zombies... Hmm... The quip with Iyaz only a little while back about being covered in mud and mistaken for something undead felt a little hollow now.  That lighthearted moment where they both had cause to smile... Even if just for a moment, feels drowned, buried, tarnished by another foul play by the latest of horrible incidents.  Cian had done his part...  A little anyway... Trying to swerve those who seemed to be wandering.  To turn the flesh from the flame before any serious harm could be done.  it was - quite frankly - terrifying... Just like every other incident that happened on the Island.  A whiplash of existence that jumped between blissful serenity and abject terror - for the most part.  

There were, however, a few occasions that were tempered with something else.  A laugh, a joke, a moment.  And no, he’s under no illusions here, but his brief encounter with Iyaz had been one of those moments.  Something easy breezy.  Something... Fun.

Fun.  Then why is his gut filled with knots, a sense of trepidation as he wanders close to the hut.  People had played out dreamlike instances in their trances which had left them - jarred... Scarred.  Broken and hurt.  

Which is why he wonders, as one hand lifts to the door, if Iyaz had been impacted so.  If he had been tempted into the burning heart of the tree by false visions and promises.  He also wonders why he hadn’t seen anything.  Was it because his head was already too full of the potential for visions?  The horrible beast hadn’t been able to get a foothold there perhaps?  Or maybe there was no vision that would have him believe - they seemed to be of the past ( at least, from what he had heard ) - not the future.

Well, he’s just loitering now.   So he knocks.  

“Delivery from Interflora.”

A soft proclamation as he shuffles back a little - small basket in hand with a variety of flora gathered to see if any of the plants may be promising for Iyaz’s experimentation - a couple of the large pink blooms resting atop the little pile.  And he - hopes - that the other is... Whole.  In body.  In mind... 

...It would be quite terrible if he was not.

Hmm - maybe he should have gone with ‘Avon calling’ instead of interflora.

“Iyaz?  Hello?  It’s Cian...”

[talldarkandroguesome]

38th Entry in Coldharbour

The Bosmer stayed true to her word and took us to a stone door. It was ancient looking. She said it was a secret tunnel into the tower that she had known of, but never dared to enter. Her people warned her that those who went in never returned and she had known some who thought the stories were only that. Never were they heard of again.

So we knew this was going to be an easy quest after that. Ha!

The Bosmer was apprehensive about entering, which meant I was even more uncertain if she were leading us into a trap. But as always, what choice had we? The Groundskeeper said that this King was going to be of great use to us and if our previous ventures proved anything, then there would be yet another light somewhere within this tower.

We pushed the ancient stone door aside and found a dark tunnel. We carefully made our way forward until a light shone bright around a curve. The tunnel opened up as we entered the next chamber and there stood a collosal tree. At its base, tangled amongst the roots, was a skeleton. In the skeleton’s arms it clutched a crystal that shone with bright light. We knew that it was one of Meridia’s Lights. There was no mistaking the shape or warm glow.

Unfortunately, the roots of the tree had wrapped themselves fiercely around both the skeleton and the Light. We had to hack at it with weapons and I used my flames to burn at the roots. We all were sore in the shoulders from swinging our blades over and over again into the thick bark.

At last we were able to pry it free. We handed it to Jessmyn. I told her that likely it would come of great use. At least, if any of our other ventures were any indication.

As we headed up the stairs, a glowing purple image, of what at first appeared to be an Altmer, materialized before us. But it was no Altmer. It was the Ayeleid King. He explained how glad he was we had the crystal and that we would need it to free him from this prison.

Most interestingly, he explained that Meridia had foretold of our freeing him. He seemed to be an advent follower of hers and to have spoken with her directly at some point. That is a very great honor indeed and I could see why the Groundskeeper would find him valuable. And I knew he must be quite powerful. To be held for centuries in such a place and still be able to project yourself to seek freedom, that is not small feat.

We asked the King how we could free him and he explained that Molag Bal feared him and thus trapped him in a pillar of pure darkness, powered by the Light of Meridia. That this was the weak point of Molag Bal’s plan, for the Lights can dispel Molag Bal’s darkness as well. It made sense then why we could use them to get rid of the illusions before. They were darkness, which the Lights of Meridia could shine through. That once we gathered up the crystals that locked the prison door, we could free him.

With that knowledge, we headed down the corridor. As we raced around the corners, Tel pulled up ahead. When they reached a door, they pushed it open and then froze for a moment. We all stopped, waiting to see what danger was in store, only to have Tel level a shot in our direction. The Bosmer and I, who were closest behind, were able to dodge out of the way easily.

That is when we realized, Tel had come under one of the enchantments. I did the first thing I could think of, I teleported right in front of Tel and gave him the Lover’s Kiss. Their body locked up and I guided them to the ground. I felt the was of exhaustion that comes with using the blessing of my sign. So I sat down besides Tel’s paralyzed form and suggested we do something to keep Tel from attacking us.

Jessmyn took out some rope and we got a bit out of Tel’s pack as well. The three of us tied Tel up tight enough they could not get out, without doing any harm to their body. We waited to see if the enchantment might wear off since only Tel has the spells necessary to calm someone.

As soon as the paralysis wore off though, Tel began yelling insults and sent a cliff strider flying in our direction and I had to kiss him again. Jessmyn suggested we go out of their line of sight in order to keep from getting attacked directly by Tel’s at-will magicka.

So we all headed down the corridor, just out of view of Tel where they could not send anything at us because they could no longer see where we were precisely. 

The whole time we walked away, Tel began shouting that we were cowards, unworthy, deserved this or that. We tried to ignore it on account of the enchantment, but Tel began to get very personal in their insults.

To the Bosmer they called them a traitor and said we could never trust her if she was willing to betray her own family.

Jessmyn he said that no one would ever want to be around her because she had no emotions and an inability to be friendly with others. That her walls would ensure she was alone the rest of her life.

They started calling me a liar, saying I had no respect for their boundaries, that they could not believe that they had forgiven me for what I had made them do. I could see how worried Jessmyn was looking. I tried to give her a look to say that this was just the spell bringing out nastiness, but Tel only kept digging deeper.

They said I was paranoid, that I was a bad friend who only cared about my problems, totally selfish. That they did so much for me and this was how I repaid them?I brushed it off. This was just the enchantment, after all.

Tel said he did not know how I had any friends at all. They did not know Avon could stand me. How Qau-dar could have stood by my side and married me.

Those hurt. they hurt a lot. I got a flash of Ervis’ face as they said how much they hated me, how I had ruined his life. And yet the look of betrayal on his face when I dodged his blade aimed at my heart and pierced his instead.

I ground my teeth. It was just the spell. That was all.

Tel screamed that I was impulsive and irresponsible and unable to stop myself from dying and that I had no business taking care of a child because there was no way I could be fit for such a task. That they hated me and wished I would just die already.

I could take it no longer. I teleported into the room, dodged the cliff strider, and kissed Tel again. Then I yelled for the others to bring something to gag Tel with.

We got Tel gagged and we left them alone again. You can still hear the muffled angry cries. At least the words are cut off.

I explained to Jessmyn that a lot had happened since Tel and I knew one another. Some things happened under the influence of vampiric thrall. That we had a period of figuring out what one another needed in a friendship. And that most of this was the enchantment twisting the misunderstandings of earlier into daggers to wound my heart.

She seemed... mostly to accept my words. I am sure when the spell wears off Tel can explain things for themself and we can straighten it all out.

I only hope this spell can wear off. Otherwise I might just kill Tel to break it.

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[disney3245]

Nouveaux jouets de Disney en vente

l'avant du livre inclus des annonces publicitaires d'menant aux professionnels du marketing de la sphère de luxe. Regis étaient parmi les spécialistes du marketing de voyage et d'accueil de luxe en vedette dans l'édition de mai de ROBB Report qui comprenait la liste inaugurale de la world top 100 resorts. Le collier et boucles d'oreilles de réflexion royale avait l'air absolument magnifique. Syndicate Media Group, New York. Quelques morceaux envoûtants de la collection comprennent la Croix Eternity Ring, le bracelet de tennis et de la disney ligne de luxe Echarpe Pendant. Elle a également remporté un prix pour Disney Jouets déstockage la catégorie Fashion Forward lors de la cérémonie Tucson Disney Body Déguisement Minnie Mouse Blanc Et Rose à Prix Dégriffé en février Le monde des pierres précieuses est un lieu passionnant, car chaque roche polie libère des couleurs vibrantes de sens à lui est porteur. Il y a tellement de tout simplement magnifique animaux princesse disney qui ne sont même pas une pierre précieuse partout sur eux. Par exemple, créé cinq des 2jours sacs à main à être vendu exclusivement à Harrods' exposition narrative de sac à main. t shirt super heros Combien Je t'aime histoire parle père et fils lièvres exprimant leur amour pour chaque other. 'Les activités interactives, comme la conception d'un client, de type F sont une importante stratégie de mobilisation pour mobile', M. Opera Prima et une bouteille de parfum. Une secondaire, étalé complet a également été perçu entre ad la table des matières pour briser la section Soldes Disney Mode Enfant. Ses travaux de recherche dans des domaines tels que la science, l'art, l'architecture, l'archéologie, le cirque et la danse lui fournit de précieux renseignements sur le corps humain qui ont aidé à façonner les chaussures de marque. En plus de ces tissus de tendances les plus récentes, nous avons vu des silhouettes récurrentes comme des manches illusion, dos bas, et V-cou, même profondes. BLUE Gemstones disneyland voyage pas cher superbes pierres bleues ont une sensation aqueuse fraîche, nous rappelant de la mer ou nos belles skys bleu clair. L'option de construire un modèle n'est pas Soldes Disney optimisé pour le mobile et apparaît très petite sur l'écran d'un terminal mobile. La page de gauche montre le calendrier perpétuel d'un calibre de 240 Q. Ouvert avec les annonces vidéo pour le film, le New York Times'site de bureau peuvent 10 Présenté une immense bannière publicitaire avec des vidéos des éléments à partir de les princesse disney Jazz collections d'âge.

www.soldedisney.com/

[halocantik]

Atomy

South Korean cosmetics company is making a major push into Britain, and claims that those who sign up to be a sales representatives can earn thousands in commission each week, and bonuses of up to £720,000.

 Founded in 2009, Atomy has become one of the world’s biggest “multilevel marketing” (MLM) companies – where individuals make money by selling items and getting people to sign up – and claims to have 15 million members globally.

 After launching in the US, Canada, Australia and other territories, it has set its sights on the UK and Europe, and says tens of thousands of people have already signed up.

 Advertisement

It is the latest in a line of direct-sales beauty companies likely to particularly attract women who may be struggling financially and looking for new ways of earning cash – a trend that has been accelerated by the pandemic.

 The company’s launch videos and promotional material emphasise the large sums it says can potentially be earned as a “distributor” – including, for those who reach the top of the programme, six-figure cash bonuses and perks, such as a personal assistant and personal driver.

 MLM schemes are typically made up of large numbers of people selling items such as beauty and cleaning products, candles and books, from home. They are controversial, and in the UK there are scores of individuals and groups campaigning against them on social media.

 Campaigning group Hey Hun... #BanTheScam claims MLM is a “predatory business model” that should be banned, and is planning a protest in central London on 28 August.

 Meanwhile, another critic of this type of scheme told the Observer that, in his opinion, Atomy was an “economic cult”. However, there is no evidence that any UK authorities are investigating MLMs.

 Critics have labelled them “pyramid schemes”, but Atomy denies this. It describes itself as “a consumer-oriented network marketing company”, adding that people can join for free, with no obligation to sell products, and that the vast majority of its customers are “consumer-only” – that is, not earning commission from sales. It held its official launch event at the New Theatre Royal in Portsmouth on 28 July.

 The UK company is called Atomy Distribution. It has an office in Guildford and plans to hold seminars where people can find out more about this “business opportunity”.

 It specialises in beauty and skincare products and health supplements, and says it is offering people the chance to become their own boss and earn additional income by becoming a distributor.

 In its video message to potential recruits, it claims that through its compensation plan, “you will be able to fulfil all the dreams in your life scenario”.

 In simple terms, members earn points from their personal purchases and from purchases made by their “legs” – that is, the team of customers they have recruited as members.

 Points then translate into commission and other payments.

 Before you can start earning commission, you need a minimum number of personal points, plus those for each of your legs.

 However unlike some similar companies, members buy from an online “shopping mall”, not from another distributor. This means that distributors do not have to hold, and pay for, stock that they may never manage to sell.

 Atomy has five levels of sales rep, called “dealerships,” and seven “masterships”, each with its own rules.

 There is a complex system of commission payments, bonuses and other incentives.

 In one video, Ruby McGrath, the UK and Europe managing director, says that in terms of general commission, distributors get a “score” for reaching each dealership, and each score is “roughly about” five US dollars. “The maximum score you can earn per day is 300,” she adds. This suggests a maximum of $1,500 (£1,080) commission a day.

 Then there are the mastership bonuses, described as “once-in-a-lifetime” awards for reaching each level. Those reaching the lowest rung receive some company products, while Atomy claims those reaching the top rung, known as “imperial master” status, would receive £720,000 cash, plus other benefits including “office rental, personal assistant and driver hire”.

 To join, an individual must provide the membership number of the person who is referring them.

 Atomy’s website says it offers more than 400 products, although last week the shopping mall on the UK site appeared to list a smaller range, from £5 for four tubes of toothpaste to £180 for the “Absolute Skincare Set”.

 The UK launch film on YouTube includes a sequence where the company bosses take afternoon tea with “a very special guest” – who turns out to be a lookalike of the Queen. The lookalike flicks through an Atomy brochure while drinking tea and eating sandwiches on the terrace of a stately home, and is then delighted to be presented with a basket of the company’s products.

 The UK trade body for the direct sales sector, the Direct Selling Association (DSA) – whose members include cosmetics company Avon and the health and beauty firm Amway – estimates there are 631,000 direct sellers in the UK, 96% of whom are female. The DSA is an association controlled by its members, and operates a code of conduct with which they have to comply.

 The Observer asked the DSA if it was aware of Atomy UK and whether it had applied for membership. It replied that “this company is not known to us”.

 The DSA has said, in the past, that while multilevel marketing structures “may seem similar to pyramid schemes,” – which are illegal in the UK – “in reality they are substantially different and are more similar to a conventional corporate business model”.

 The US-based Direct Selling News website recently published a “Global 100” list of direct sales companies which featured Amway in first place and Atomy at 12. The site said that in 2020, Atomy’s annual revenue was $1.48bn (£1.06bn).

 David Brear, who describes himself as an author who has studied cults, told the Observer that, in his opinion, Atomy was an “economic cult” that was peddling a “cruel illusion”.

 However, McGrath says that “you don’t have to be a distributor member to enjoy Atomy’s products,” and that “97% of our customers are consumer-only (ie, non-commission earning)”.

 She adds: “Our members love our products and recommend them to people to try … there is no pushing people to buy, no joining fee, no stock holding, no minimum requirement to purchase any products.

 “Additionally, unlike other network marketing companies, our consumers purchase via the online shopping mall, not via a person.”

 McGrath says that of the $1,500 maximum commission a day that “reaching this level takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Typically, for someone to make Atomy their full-time job, we would say it takes over three years of dedication and hard work”.

 She added that Atomys was “looking into” applying to join the DSA.

[coolavonrepresentative]

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[prolifeproliberty]

I need non-biased scientific articles on life beginning at conception. Do you happen to have any? As many as you can please!

Of course!

My favorite is When Does Human Life Begin: A Scientific Perspective by Dr. Maureen L. Condic. (Link downloads a PDF)

If you want just some good quotes from biology and embryology textbooks, here you go:

"A zygote is the beginning of a new human being. Human development begins at fertilization."Dr. Keith L. Moore and Dr. T. V. N. Persaud,The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology

"Human development begins after the union of male and female gametes or germ cells during a process known as fertilization (conception)."Fertilization is a sequence of events that begins with the contact of a sperm (spermatozoon) with a secondary oocyte (ovum) and ends with the fusion of their pronuclei (the haploid nuclei of the sperm and ovum) and the mingling of their chromosomes to form a new cell. This fertilized ovum, known as a zygote, is a large diploid cell that is the beginning, or primordium, of a human being."[Moore, Keith L. Essentials of Human Embryology. Toronto: B.C. Decker Inc, 1988, p.2]

"The development of a human being begins with fertilization, a process by which two highly specialized cells, the spermatozoon from the male and the oocyte from the female, unite to give rise to a new organism, the zygote."[Langman, Jan. Medical Embryology. 3rd edition. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1975, p. 3]

"The development of a human begins with fertilization, a process by which the spermatozoon from the male and the oocyte from the female unite to give rise to a new organism, the zygote."[Sadler, T.W. Langman's Medical Embryology. 7th edition. Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins 1995, p. 3]

"At the moment the sperm cell of the human male meets the ovum of the female and the union results in a fertilized ovum (zygote), a new life has begun.... The term embryo covers the several stages of early development from conception to the ninth or tenth week of life."[Considine, Douglas (ed.). Van Nostrand's Scientific Encyclopedia. 5th edition. New York: Van Nostrand Reinhold Company, 1976, p. 943]

"Zygote. This cell, formed by the union of an ovum and a sperm (Gr. zyg tos, yoked together), represents the beginning of a human being. The common expression 'fertilized ovum' refers to the zygote."[Moore, Keith L. and Persaud, T.V.N. Before We Are Born: Essentials of Embryology and Birth Defects. 4th edition. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Company, 1993, p. 1]

"The chromosomes of the oocyte and sperm are...respectively enclosed within female and male pronuclei. These pronuclei fuse with each other to produce the single, diploid, 2N nucleus of the fertilized zygote. This moment of zygote formation may be taken as the beginning or zero time point of embryonic development."[Larsen, William J. Human Embryology. 2nd edition. New York: Churchill Livingstone, 1997, p. 17]

"Although life is a continuous process, fertilization is a critical landmark because, under ordinary circumstances, a new, genetically distinct human organism is thereby formed.... The combination of 23 chromosomes present in each pronucleus results in 46 chromosomes in the zygote. Thus the diploid number is restored and the embryonic genome is formed. The embryo now exists as a genetic unity."[O'Rahilly, Ronan and M�ller, Fabiola. Human Embryology & Teratology. 2nd edition. New York: Wiley-Liss, 1996, pp. 8, 29. This textbook lists "pre-embryo" among "discarded and replaced terms" in modern embryology, describing it as "ill-defined and inaccurate" (p. 12}]

"Almost all higher animals start their lives from a single cell, the fertilized ovum (zygote)... The time of fertilization represents the starting point in the life history, or ontogeny, of the individual."[Carlson, Bruce M. Patten's Foundations of Embryology. 6th edition. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1996, p. 3]

"[A]nimal biologists use the term embryo to describe the single cell stage, the two-cell stage, and all subsequent stages up until a time when recognizable humanlike limbs and facial features begin to appear between six to eight weeks after fertilization...."[A] number of specialists working in the field of human reproduction have suggested that we stop using the word embryo to describe the developing entity that exists for the first two weeks after fertilization. In its place, they proposed the term pre-embryo...."I'll let you in on a secret. The term pre-embryo has been embraced wholeheartedly by IVF practitioners for reasons that are political, not scientific. The new term is used to provide the illusion that there is something profoundly different between what we nonmedical biologists still call a six-day-old embryo and what we and everyone else call a sixteen-day-old embryo."The term pre-embryo is useful in the political arena -- where decisions are made about whether to allow early embryo (now called pre-embryo) experimentation -- as well as in the confines of a doctor's office, where it can be used to allay moral concerns that might be expressed by IVF patients. 'Don't worry,' a doctor might say, 'it's only pre-embryos that we're manipulating or freezing. They won't turn into real human embryos until after we've put them back into your body.'"[Silver, Lee M. Remaking Eden: Cloning and Beyond in a Brave New World. New York: Avon Books, 1997, p. 39]

[talldarkandroguesome]

21st of Last Seed, Sundas

Avon and Sildras came to get me from the Temple healers. I could see a hopeful but apprehensive expression on Sildras’ face as the door cracked open. I smiled at him and beckoned him inward. He rushed forward than stopped, asking if he could touch me. I told him that he was very welcome to do so, I was just a little bit sore in places. He asked if a hug would be fine and I motioned for him to draw close, pulling him into my arms once he was in range.

I did not care how my hands and forearms cried out, I held tightly onto Sildras. I held him tight against my chest and felt tears that I had not meant to shed fall from my face. I am sure that it would be interpreted as a reaction to the pain. I was just so glad to have my son. To have him not recoil at the sight of me. To not have shied away from me as though I were a monster. Though I certainly looked bad, to know that he was still able to see me for who I was and to love me, it was more of a relief than I had even guessed.

I did not wish to let him go, even with the pain, but he scrambled back to sit besides me on the bed and look into my face. He had many questions for me. He mostly wanted to know if my vision was any different. If the glow happened even in the dark. Could I tell that my eyes were red?

There was no question I did not answer him. It was natural to be curious and I had to tell him again and again that I did not even know that my eyes had changed, save for seeing it in a looking glass myself.

When we had had a bit to catch up, the healers informed me that everything was ready for me to go home. I had expected to walk out, but they told me that it was requested that I take as much rest as possible for my body and not be exposed to any opportunity that might make use of magicka. Instead that had me move onto a sort of stretcher and from there they slid it inside of a large compartment so that even within the halls of the Temple, no one would be able to see me within.

And that was how I was to travel. I was taken home in the palanquin, carried in what felt very much like a funerary procession, rather than a typical ride across the city. Thick lacing was set all about the windows, so that I might see out and have a cross breeze against the heat, but that no one would be able to view me inside.

Sildras was given permission to accompany me inside, given how little he weighed, while Avon and Mother and Father took a coach back to my manor. Upon arrival, the healers had my palanquin taken all the way up to my bedroom and did not allow me out until after it was inside my room. They instructed Avon that he should not allow any servants into my room until the House had made a decision about how best to proceed with my condition.

I had not idea that this was going to be such a reaction to my state. One would have thought I had been transformed into a Daedra or a guar the way they treated me. And though I was capable of moving about on my own, they kept insisting that I remain in bed and should not leave. It all spoke to a conspiracy for me to remain as hidden as possible until they could do something to alter my appearance.

Sildras stayed with me and showed me his latest projects from his lessons as I overheard Avon, the healers, and Mother discuss the illusory ring to keep my appearance hidden from anyone outside of this room. It seemed folly. I had ridden into town looking like this. Surely there were plenty who had seen the results of my actions.

Apparently there was going to be pressure placed upon the enchanter to expedite the creation of this illusion as soon as possible. They drew the curtains in my bedroom when they had finished their discussion and told me that I needed to sleep as much as possible to healer faster and they gave me multiple potions to drink and very complicated instructions about what I could or could not do. They allowed Sildras to stay with me and so he held the book and turned the pages as I read to him from a book on Breton histories that Count Ravenwatch had gifted Sildras. I made sure to do all sorts of amusing voices for the characters and nearly summoned flames to make the images to accompany the story, before I caught myself and resumed simply reading, instead.

I am uncertain if my using magicka is as dire as they say, but I am in enough pain to heed their instructions. For now.

After Avon brought a meal to me, he said that Mother and Father had wanted to discuss with him more on my condition and the House and Temple’s desires for how to proceed, given what I had been through and likely was to continue with. So Sildras and I talked as I ate and then we lay down and fell asleep.

I awoke several hours later, Sildras nuzzled up to me, his fingers curled into the folds on my attire. Avon told me that there was much to discuss and do.

The enchanter had arrived with the ring to attempt to complete the fit and ensure that the enchantment was to the level of desired effect. A veil was placed across my face and I was not to speak. The poor man had been brought in such a way that he would not know where he was going, other than to an important House’s manor. I put my hand out and the man recoiled for a moment at the sight of the spellscars that snaked their way up into my arms, like vines crawling up a pergola. Then he gently slide the ring onto several fingers before finding one with the best fit. Each time it met the end of a digit, the scars vanished from sight. He kept glancing up towards my veiled face and I wondered if it truly covered the glow from them or not.

After he had finished, Mother lifted the veil to one side and inspected my face and hands roughly. She seemed satisfied and the man was paid, whispering a thanks in his heavily accented Dunmeris. I wished to give thanks of my own, but I had been forbidden to speak, so I simply gave a deep bow. He was shortly thereafter taken away.

My veil was removed and everyone had a look at me before allowing me to look as well. The scars were gone completely, even from around my eyes. It was so strange, for the pain was still very present, even if the scars’ appearance had vanished. My eyes were no longer glowing like candles, though the white were still rather red. It was enough that it would be unlikely for people to notice immediately, especially if I had a hood or hat or veil.

I was informed that the House did not want anyone, especially potential mistresses and their connections to learn of what had transpired. If anyone had seen, it would simply appear as though healing had taken care of it all. At least, for the meantime. Father explained that Almalexia had wanted to see me first thing in the morning. She had read my reports and looked at the information I had gathered and wished to discuss it with me personally. She was very much worried that this Vox character was still out there somewhere, possibly providing a major threat still. I had been asked to rest as best as I could and then resume my mission. Even if the cost was great, I had to ensure the safety of our lands and people.

I agreed and, with my appearance fixed, was allowed to call for Cheerz, to make arrangements for a carriage to the Temple in the morning. Mother and Father stayed for supper, though it was clear that Father was anxious, the whole of dinner, to return to his work at the Temple. He did so hate to be away from his musty, old books. It is practically an obsession for him.

We had family game time up in my bedroom, a table carried in and set at the foot of my bed, so that I may remain laying down and be in sight-line of the games. I was still to rest my hands, so Avon held my cards up for me when need be.

All three of us slept in my bed that night and though it hurt to be pressed against them both, I did not complain. It felt so good to be with them. To not be alone. Also to have privacy. To be a family again. Especially knowing that I was to have to leave the city almost immediately again.

In the morning T’nasha fed me my breakfast. She was very gentle throughout it all and happy to finally be of more service. Usually she works the gardens, but she is now heavy with child, so we have brought her inside where she is mostly cooking and mending. Anything that is light enough work so as not to strain her condition.

She was very eager to have a hand at serving our family more directly and was volunteering to serve platters for meals, though Cheerz tells me that she is worried if that might be too strenuous for her. I said I would leave it up to her discretion, but if Cheerz thought she could handle it, to allow T’nasha the opportunity to try some different roles. Perhaps she would find something she liked better and there were also people working inside the house who might be happy to trade places, or might be better suited for work on the grounds instead.

Then I was bathed, dressed, and made up for my visit to see Mother Morrowind herself. I brought parchment, ink, and a quill, just in case there was more to record. Then I was escorted to the Temple.

I was making my way up the many sets of stairs when, upon one of the landings, I saw a familiar face. Leaned up against a small section of wall, stood Naryu, her face covered and a hood pulled down low over top of it. She told me she had been waiting forever for me to arrive and that it was rude to keep her waiting, knowing how little she cared to be anywhere near the Temple. I asked if she was truly waiting for me, knowing that she could have simply come to my home instead.

She made a sarcastic comment about how much she loved the hypocrisy of Temple doctrine and their blatant lies. Then she explained that there had been increased Ordinator activity around that side of town and my manor specifically, so she decided to allow me some recovery time. She also joked that at least I looked like a Dunmer again. I pointed to the illusion ring and told her it was all thanks to magicka. That made her wince, but I ignored it and asked her if there was something she found about Vox, because surely this would not simply be her coming to get me for that promised drink she owed me from back in Vvardenfell.

She shifted uncomfortably and said that while she did not have the luxury of a contract to allow her to get involved, she knew that I was. And the Maulborn had made it into the city whilst I was recovering. She had wanted to let me know sooner, but there was too much damned security to find me easily.

I said I was about to speak with Almalexia about my findings, so she really had good timing. I could hopefully get some Ordinators and Hands to be put in place to try and guard the city if need be.

Naryu said that she hated to get involved with Almsivi in any way, just as she knew how little I liked it, but she had to admit that Almalexia did care about her people and city. That she had some leads on where they were, but it would take too long to explain and she had not yet gotten the proof I would likely need to present before acting. That I really, really would not like what her information was pointing to.

I told her I needed to know, but I also could not be late. So we agreed to meet in our old spot in the Flaming Nix as soon as I was done speaking with Almalexia. Then Naryu rushed off, trying to avoid the Hands stationed along the stairs.

I made my way to the Temple doors and was ushered inside. Waiting for me within the main lobby, was Almalexia, a rare sight for her to be in such a public space, even if it was clear that the Hands had ushered everyone else away from the area.

Almalexia greeted me warmly and thanked me for the many good deeds I had accomplished. I had done our House proud and by doing such in her name, I had done her proud. She knew that this was only the beginning of the work I was to do, but that she wished to offer me a reward for the many lives I had saved thus far. She floated before me a blue orb with a silver base which I held out my hands and took. She explained that this was her enchanted lantern, which would be a light even in the dark places. Then I kowtowed, gave her a formal thanks, and placed it into my satchel carefully. 

She floated close to me and asked me to drop the illusion, that she might see this offering that I had made to ensure the safety of my people. I slid the ring from my hand and placed it into a small pocket in my sleeve, holding out my hands. She motioned with her fingers and my face was tilted up as if she had grabbed it to peer down into it, though never did she lay a hand upon me. I tried to glance away, knowing it would be rude to look her in the eyes, but she commanded me to do so.

I did not dare to disobey. Her eyes were such a mesmerizingly beautiful golden color. I felt as though I were ensnared by them, caught before them, as the color seemed to shift, flecks of vibrant greens and blues all moved within, like lightning flashing behind clouds of a growing storm.

She allowed me to place the ring back on and told me I had paid a great price indeed. Though more troubling than that, was that she knew there was more on my mind. More to report about the situation.

I said I had just learned that the Maulborn had made their way into the city with help. I was going to meet with a source to learn more so that I might bring her evidence against those to blame.

She told me that I should indeed hurry and follow up on these matters, for removing this thorn from her side was my charge. She expected me to take care of it for the safety of our people and lands. That I should go and see my secretive friend. That she knew that their goals and ours where aligned, for now, so she would look the other way from their activities in the meantime. As long as it would help solve the issue.

A Hand gave me back my journal of notes and sent me off on my way. I made my way to the Flaming Nix and greeted Kemirik warmly. I asked for the usual room and he said it was mine. I provided the coin and asked after Naryu, giving the false name she liked to use here in Mournhold back when were we still young. Kemirik said she had not been by yet, but that he would send her along when she came in.

I ordered a bottle of fine Colovian wine, one that was known to be light, tart, and citrusy. I had a light meal and drank as I wait for her. I suppose she must have truly found something, for it has been more than three hours and she has yet to arrive. I suppose, if nothing else, at least I know I will have a good meal in my belly before she gets here.

[marlenedom]

I just added this listing on Poshmark: Avon Body Illusions bodysuit.

[bestfluteninja]

quotes from marching band, 2k17

these are actual things that people in my marching band said during the 2017 season. prepare yourself. (if you want context just shoot me an ask and i’ll try to provide it)

“I like your dad hat”

“Fuck you!” “You would”

“I hate him so much”

“Does anyone have lotion?”

“I need a new oboe reed cause mine is shit”

“I forgot sunscreen”

“Happy June camp!” “How is it happy?” “I’m trying to be positive here”

“Mr. H took his Tide bottle away”

“There’s a big shiny object in the sky. It’s the sun. It does this thing called shining”

“I’m gonna get a rotisserie chicken tattooed on my forehead”

“Dis line tho”

“And remember, I don’t care”

“He was just sitting on the toilet, pants down, phone out, playing Clash of Clans or something”

“Why are you sitting outside?” “Because if I wanted to be around people, I’d be inside”

“Just finished a drug deal”

[after chucking a phone across the parking lot into the grass] “The screen isn’t cracked but the case is!”

“Stop spraying people with sunscreen”

“SPF sun-resistant”

“Your pants are not ripping apart, it’s okay”

“It’s been in my bra and it’s still warm”

“He got a penny stuck in his trumpet”

“Let’s do me”

“Aww yeah, sun cancer”

“Right in the stomach

“I’m the best noodle”

“I use a pencil sharpener”

“Why is my binder always backwards and upside down”

“Someone just died”

“We’re so good at circles”

“Okay, guys, this circle is turning into a triangle”

“I’m turning into a meme”

“She forgot her instrument at first”

“I ran into a Little Cesar’s building”

“Nothing ever happens in marching band, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened” [there was a small lake in the indoor room where woodwinds were supposed to practice]

“My heart actually started beating, and I thought no”

“I found myself being nice and it just didn’t sit with me”

“I want to eat but my stomach’s rejecting it”

“A tree fell on my house again”

“If you want a good comeback, you have to be creative, you sea dolphin”

“I’ll bottle flip a tree onto your house”

“Being high is better than being asleep”

“I like having my earbuds in and not paying attention while I walk across the street”

“I cried this morning”

“He doesn’t look like a Logan, he looks like a Bob”

“I can’t carry everything and your everything else”

“I’m gonna tondo this foot straight up your ass”

“She’s literally a noodle:

“You can hate me all you want, I don’t care:

“School starts in three weeks–” *various screaming pterodactyl noises* “–and I won’t mention that again”

“People who run across the road are extra” “I don’t care if you think I’m extra, I don’t wanna get run over”

“That is where the drum line is. Never go there.”

“I’m not a white k-pop fan that only listens to BTS. Well, I am, but I listen to other bands too”

“I thought the baritone girl was you”

“I hate this, I hate being here, it makes me hate myself” “Then why are you here?” “To get gym credits”

“Come see how done your boyfriend is”

“There’s a catastrophe over there”

“People swat at sweat bees and then they miss and just hit you”

“You only have one reed?”

“I like diabetes-sweet coffee”

“I like coffee as bitter as I am”

“Don’t ‘yeah’ me, fucking fix it”

“I watched the first episode, and there was a bunch of naked people, and I was like ‘nope’“

“Instrument catches on fire? Keep your feet in time”

“Can I go up for thirds yet?”

“Put your damn chicken nuggets down”

“They were standing on the sideline catcalling me and I missed a step off and once we got off the field I went ‘motherfuckers’“

“I will not have you spreading rumors that I’m selling drugs to the students”

“Don’t forget your necks”

“You suck!” “For a dollar”

“It’s like Cards Against Humanity, but it’s visuals against saxophones”

“Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right–” “Left!” “WRONG”

“I have my own shady not-drugs”

“That’s blood”

“Look at this sweat fucking bee” “That’s a regular bee” [pokes it with drumstick]

“Mom! Face forward when you’re on the bus” “Then I can’t see what you’re up to”

“THE STUDENT SECTION CHEERED!”

“It doesn’t give you energy, it just loads you with caffeine”

“When you leaned down, I could see your boobs” “Were they nice boobs?” “Yeah” “Then that’s all that matters”

“Am I embarrassing you?” “Little bit”

“Oh are we playing the school song? Thanks for telling me”

“That is a lot of birds on there, that’s concerning”

“I forgot my flute”

“Look at our school, going over the curb”

“Let’s go smash the liquid banana”

“Can I have a hand hug?”

“Do you have a hair tie around your phone?” “I do. I also have ten dollars I found on the bus”

“Marching band is the only form of slavery still legal in the United States”

“I somehow accumulated three water bottles” “You’re gonna pee clear”

“When do I not want chik-fil-a?”

“I constantly have to pee”

“I have three water bottles” “I’m proud of you”

“How do you think you did?” “Better than first place”

“Which came first, calculus or physics?”

“Y’all stink worse than the guard bus”

“Close your eyes and it’ll seem dark”

“There’s tired, and then there’s band competition tired”

“I just went through puberty, second time around”

“I need to blow my nose and pet my dog”

“Can I braid your leg hair?”

“I generally don’t like to tell my boyfriend I’m cheating on him”

“There’s a Starbucks nearby”

“Why do I relate so much to the small child?” “Which one?” “The one who’s screaming”

“Avon just marches in a block and the judges are like ‘amazing, first place’“

“I don’t care if you die” “I’ve never seen this side of the flutes before” “I promise we’re all friends in the flute section”

“I’m gonna eat my own asshole” “Can I have half?”

“There is nothing productive going on over there”

“Why does God hate me?”

“I’m allergic to the prescribed crap”

“Are you eating a doughnut?” [takes another bite of doughnut] “No”

“I hate this band”

“Did we lose the other bus again?”

“They definitely wouldn’t notice a 220 pound man jumping out a window”

“If you don’t know who Frank Sinatra is, just leave”

“A bee just landed on my nose”

“We set the standard really low”

“I love you, band moms. You feed us so well”

“McDonald’s is where it’s aaaaaat”

“Why is this part of my body sweating?”

“I’m gonna hoard my food”

“See, the show choir moms just don’t care”

“I’m not a fork”

“It’s three o’clock? I thought it was like six”

“Well if you look at my phone it’s seven thirty a.m. yesterday”

“I just hate the flutes”

“I wonder if I could walk through the drive-through”

“Your voice is lower, like you’re trying to be seductive”

“Oh, you mean on Snapchat, I thought you meant like tracking”

“I have one percent oh no mayday mayday”

“You almost just died” “But it would have been spectacular”

“That’s not flying, that’s falling very fast. With style”

“I love birds–no, I hate birds”

“What’s on your bucket list?”

“I don’t pay attention to non-human menstrual cycles”

“Rifle butts are cute”

“Oh my god a bass drum”

“Do you like my snuggie?”

“It looks like Christmas and a highlighter had a baby”

“I will eat anything that’s edible”

“I thought it was ‘fluti’ like ‘cacti’“

“He makes a better Elsa than Elsa”

“It fits everywhere but the boobs”

“I have chik-fil-a in my pocket”

“You want a present? I found it in the ceiling”

“The hell-word”

“Why wouldn’t I want a donut?”

“Afraid of diabetes? Have you seen what I eat?”

“I just really love food today”

“Don’t break physics”

“I would suck someone’s dick for twenty dollars”

“Activate your thighs”

“I have pep in my step, man”

[hobbling dangerously fast on crutches] “I’m a trained medical professional!”

“If you don’t feel like you’re attacking your neighbor, you’re doing it wrong”

“Why are y’all having orgies on the stairs?”

“Why do we have two trash bags?” “One for the people, one for the stuff”

[singing] “We are family, even though you’re whiter than me”

“Make it iCarly. Throw the bagel at the wall”

“Get a room, you two”

“Who wants drugs?”

“He’s like a white Catholic man at a rave”

“Come hither, children, into the house of pee”

“I have just been mcflashed”

“Why?” “Meme”

“What in precipiatation”

“We can all be flat together”

“Wrong plus wrong equals less wrong”

“There may or may not be a hip thrust”

“The moon is an illusion”

“It’s hte one where we sit in the middle of the floor and they announce all our failures”

“Make the voices in your heat be a metronome”

“I forgot how to write the letter 9″

“The size of this mushroom is ungodly”

“The sun has not risen yet we should not be here”

“Nap time corner!”

“Will nut for heat”

“I am scientifically burning up”

“Please never make that noise again. You sounded like a hawk jumping off a bridge”

“There is no dying permitted in my section”

“A bird pooped on my shoulder!”

“It’s not about the size, it’s how you use it”

“Is your mom coming?” “Unfortunately”

“I’m a pretty pink princess”

“Your mom gave me extra candy on Halloween”

“Boy do I love men in tights”

“I’m not giving this boy ten dollars for a Gatorade”

“You got your charger, right? So if I watch Netflix I can use it?”

“I have to turn it up just a little so it doesn’t have a seizure”

“Get Spotify premium so there aren’t ads!” “It’s YouTube, calm down”

“I think I have that exact same bra on right now”

“They have kettle corn!!!”

“One, two, three, NUT”

“I didn’t know hair could have personality until I saw your hair flips”

“Midstates is a pity competition, like, oh, you didn’t make state? Have midstates” “Yeah, but I wanna win the pity competition”

“Do not have sexual intercourse in the next ten minutes, please”

“The golf cart people took her”

“I have what the cool kids call–” [does cartwheel and comes up with finger guns] “–depression”

“I shaved my ankle last night” “Not the rest of your leg?” “No, just my ankle”

“All that makes me feel is emotional distress”

“I never knew hair could have personality until I saw your hair flips”

“Is that orgy kid?”

“Flutes and clarinets, I am sensing a distinct lack of Christmas spirit when we sing jingle bells”

“Why aren’t you wearing a black shirt? This is marching band, we have to look like ninjas”

“Someone’s skipping school, oh no”

“Santa!! Can you follow me on Instagram?” “I want his autograph”

“I play saxophone, I’m not used to reading in the stratosphere”