#Ateez Humor

[jjoongstar]

𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛 𝒕𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕

genre: smau

rating: sfw (but has some vulgar words)

a/n: this is a first one i made, hope its ok. i find this kinda fun to make, (need more topics/ideas)

dividers

taglist: @engentiny @seonghw4ffles

networks: @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

[bluehwale]

unconventional first encounters with ateez

part one // part two

pairing. ateez x reader (specifically fem! reader for seonghwa's & jongho's)

genre. fluff, humor, this is a headcanon with a teensy bit of thriller and fantasy (and maybe sci-fi)

warning(s). a creepy man stalking u (san's part), swearing, mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of murder without actual murder, a crazy toxic ex (jongho's part), mingi had a one night stand, mentions of nudity without actual nudity, this is not proofread, seonghwa’s scenes are inspired by the kdrama “youth of may”

word count. 8.7k (sorry in advance)

note. i’ve created a monster… the 3k words headcanon suddenly snowballed into almost 9k oops i think i had too much fun writing this,, anyways please tell me ur favorites! mine would be seonghwa’s, wooyoung’s, and yunho’s bc it may or may not be inspired by a true story,,, (if u notice me reusing a trope in this hc,,,,, no u don’t)

masterlist

kim hongjoong

you're in a skateboard park

"why did you follow me here?"mingi slurps on his juicebox as he steps on the nose of his skateboard, "you don't even skate."

you turn to look at him and cheekily grin

"is it wrong to want to spend time with my bestfriend?"

mingi raises a brow

okay fine

he's right

you don't skate and you basically see mingi everyday at campus so you're actually kind of sick of him (don't tell him that)

so you're not really here for him

"just go do your thing," you make shooing gestures at the boy with pink hair as you turn to plop down on the side walk

"i'll sit here and watch."

:-D

sit and watch one of the most attractive guys you've ever seen skateboard

kim hongjoong

and there he is

laughing with his friends and doing little skateboard tricks that you can't name

everytime you look at him you hear sk8ter boi by avril lavigne playing as the background music

it's not a crush btw you just think he's super cool

you're falling in love with him

mingi blinks twice at you and proceeds to follow your line of sight

"oh c'mon."

"what??" you huff, trying to avoid his judgemental glare, "i just think he's cute, okay???"

"yeah but i thought whatever phase you had over him would be over by now."

well u thought wrong !!!!! >:-D

"instead of ogling over him, you should try skating."

mingi throws away his empty juicebox in a nearby trash can and drops his board before gently kicking it in your direction

the board hits your feet

"you're trying to kill me?" you deadpan before kicking the board back to his direction

"oh come on!" mingi flails his arms around as he whines "it'll be fun!!!!!"

"fun for you," you snort while trying to look over his gigantic ass that's currently blocking your view, "i'll probably end up with a broken arm."

mingi suddenly grabs onto your hands and pull you up

"nonsense! i'm right here-" he adjusts you on his skateboard and makes sure both your feet are planted firmly on it, "- i won't let anything happen to you :-D"

the thing is

you love your best friend

but you absolutely cannot trust him in situations like this

you were about to hop off his board and make a run for it

but mingi starts rolling you forward gently

"dUDE!" you yelp, immediately holding tight on his arms that are still gripping you as you both move around the park

"bro calm down, we're going at like 5 kilometers per hour"

and you both kinda go at it for awhile

and oh

oHHH!

wait a minute

this is actually pretty fun !!!!!! :-D

mingi laughs at your excited grin

"see! i told you it's fun!!!!"

okay yeah he's right about this one

"now you try on your own !!!!!"

sometimes mingi forgets that not everyone can do what he does

he releases his hold on you and gives you a push

your eyes widen

your best friend hollers when the board starts going faster

"MINGI I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS THING"

"WAIT Y/N WATCH OUT! THERE'S A--"

you shriek as you hurdle to the ground and the skateboard kinda just tumbles behind you

"a pothole that hasn't been fixed," mingi winces before slowly walking over towards you

but someone beats him to it

"hey are you okay? that was a pretty rough fall"

you look up to see a boy with half of his short hair dyed blonde and the other half black, his wide eyes pooling with concern

cue sk8ter boi by avril lavigne

if he's here........ that means he must've seen you embarrassingly fall flat on your face and basically eat the ground

okay, your dramatic ass actually didn't even fall face first to the ground but,,

you somehow ended up with having your palms and knees on the ground

and the kim hongjoong is right in front of you

..........you had to resist the urge to curl up and die

"i-i'm fine-- ouch," you hiss as you move to push off the ground

exposing your now bloody knees and scratched up palms

apparently you're not fine

"oh no," hongjoong frowns, gently cradling one of your bleeding hands in both of his and you kinda have to muffle back your scream because oMG

he lets go of your hand and kinda digs around in his pants' pocket to pull out what looks like an antiseptic spray thing and a

and a box of pink disney princesses band aids

you didn't know skater boys can be this cute?????? HE'S SO CUTE???????

"i got just the right things to fix you up!" he exclaims and looks over at you for permission, "is it okay if i do it for you?"

you can only nod

meanwhile, mingi's just kinda standing awkwardly on the sidelines while watching the boy disinfect your wounds with the spray

and he sees that hongjoong immediately strikes you into a conversation in an attempt to distract you from the pain once he sees you flinching

and he's just inwardly going wooooo yeah !!!!!! go gET IT Y/N!!!!!!

hongjoong was starting to open the box of bandaids when he notices that you're staring a hole into his busy hands

"don't judge me for these, i just picked up the first ones i see," he says, thinking that you're probably staring at the bandaids because you're thinking of how weird it is for an emo-looking guy like him to have pink bandaids, "i think they're pretty cool anyways."

"yeah, they are cool," you scoot closer to him, "i was just hoping you have either tiana or rapunzel. they're my favorite princesses."

well

hongjoong thinks that's wildly endearing somehow

if he ends up not having two of the princesses in his remaining band-aid pack, he's definitely running to the nearest drugstore to get a new one

just for you :-D

he chuckles and digs around the box to hopefully see a bandaid with a princess dressed in green or another one dressed in purple

as he finishes placing the band-aids on your injuries, he stood up and offers a hand to pull you up

"i'm hongjoong."

yeah you know

you return his name with your own and he softly smiles when repeating your name under his breath

"y/n, try not to get hurt when i see you next time."

park seonghwa

"let's get married."

you almost spurt out the complimentary water you were drinking

what in the arrranged marriage bullshit????

you finally agreed to go on one of many blind dates your mother has arranged to hopefully marry you off in hopes of merging your family company with another powerful company

to which your personal chef, wooyoung, proposed a plan (that had yeosang, your personal assistant, immediately going on his knees to beg you not to do)

wooyoung calls it operation zombie bride

which roughly translates to 'make yourself an undesirable wife'

but you didn't even get the chance to get your acting game going because this park seonghwa of park enterprises is already asking for your hand in marriage

right after you took a seat across him and managed to take ONE sip of the glass of water prepared on your table

"have you lost your mind??" you sputter while trying to swallow down the bits of water you're currently choking on, "you don't even know me!"

seonghwa raises a brow and opens his mouth, ready to retort back to your challenging remark when a waitress come up to your table

"may i start you both with a drink?"

"yes please," you try to force your hiccups to a stop so you can deadpan at the admittedly handsome man in front of you, "i'll have a bottle of beer."

the waitress visibly tries to stifle her surprise because it's currently 11 am and it's unheard of for people like you in a fancy restaurant like this to order the alcoholic drink

but yeah it's none of her business so she just took both of your orders and leaves :-D

"i guess you like to drink."

it's no question that you both obviously know of each other

having both been raised in similar worlds to be the perfect heir to be handed the family company

but you'll show him just how much he doesn't know you

you can somehow hear wooyoung's evil cackles from here

"yes," you widen your eyes and hope that you look unhinged enough, "i can't live without it. whenever i feel sober, my hands tremble like crazy."

wooyoung would be so proud that you've perfectly recited the first part of the script he wrote

"i see." an intrigued brow raises at your direction as seonghwa calmly leans back into his chair with a-

HOLD ON WHY IS HE SMIRKING??????????

things are not supposed to go this way

he's supposed to be at least slightly irked by your behavior at this point

the amused smirk still plays on his lips and you were about to openly berate him for being a weird idiot before the waitress comes back with your drinks

at the sight of the bottle of beer and a tall glass set beside it on your table, you think of backing out

you absolutely HATE beer

but you don't want to marry a guy you just met!!!!!

so you sucked it up and gulped down the glass of beer after the waitress poured the alcohol in it to the brim

ggaAAH this shit tastes like piss

you slam the now empty glass on the table before letting out a loud aHHH~ as you smack your lips obnoxiously

and you feel the side of your lip twitch upwards when you see his surprised face

(ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆ wooyoung's plan is wooooorking~!

"may i have a sip?"

record scratch. the earth stops rotating. pause.

"it's just, you make it look so delicious," seonghwa nods at the bottle before pushing down the cuffs of his grey suit and you swear you see his mirthful eyes twinkle when they meet your own gobsmacked ones

without waiting for an answer, he grabs the remaining beer in the bottle and lets the drink tip into his mouth as he knocks his head back to avoid touching his lips to the bottle

you kinda wish they did- AYYYOO?? U DID NOT THINK THAT NO U DIDN'T YOU DON'T FIND THIS MAN ATTRACTIVE AT ALL--

seonghwa lets out a rasped guttural sigh before he hums out, "now this is some nice beer." as he twirls the bottle in hands to look at its label before returning it back beside your glass

you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive. you repeat, you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive.

he sends another smirk your way

time to resort to the second half of the script

you rest your elbows on the table and lean closer to the man in front of you as your eyes narrow, "i've been told that i'm picky when it comes to who i date."

you wait for him to start spewing out random nonsense about some bullshit or the "nice guys always finish last" rant but he surprisingly stays silent and motions a hand for you to elaborate

"i don't want a man that expects me to cook or clean," you tilt your head back and give him a smirk of your own, "i'm not the type to stay home and cook for my husband. my career is more important."

he stays silent, and you can't help but feel a tad bit disappointed that maybe he's just like any other man-

"i like it."

ngl you almost went apeshit after hearing that

"my ideal type is an ambitious woman."

maybe your heart went pitter patter hearing that but no!!! you're not getting married!!!!

"i'll never want to have kids!" you grasp at straws, blindingly saying anything that will hopefully give him the ick because mhm yeah he definitely looks like a guy who want kids of his own yeah you got this

but he shrugs it off with a wave of his hand, "that's up to the woman, of course. i won't force you to do anything."

you're fucked.

"you're not as picky as i thought," seonghwa hums as another smirk, this time teasing, curls up on his face

you kinda want to smack it off

he matches your stance as he too, leans closer to you, and he tucks a stray hair behind your ear

"i guess we're pretty compatible, future wife."

jeong yunho

tonight is THE night

your finals are finally over and honestly you don't know if you did a good job at it

but that's for future yn to think about

because present yn is gonna go party it up tonight!!!!

yuh B-)

a new club just opened nearby and it looks pretty cool so you and your friends decided to go there

you have on your cutest outfit with your hair and makeup done

and you're sO excited !! >:-D

"y/n."

"hm?" you turn to face wooyoung, one of your best friends, who currently has his arms crossed and a serious look on his face

cue your cheeky grin and your not so innocent batting eyes

before every outings that involves drinking, wooyoung always gives you the talk because... well,,

one time, none of your friends couldn't find you anywhere in the club because you ended up in a nearby seafood restaurant with your whole face inside one of the aquariums (you don't know how you ended up there and yes it was gross and yes wooyoung had to pay for all the damages)

but the thing is, even though wooyoung threatens reminds you every single time before you drink to not get too crazy, it happens anyway

you don't know why he even bother

(he's handcuffed himself to you once and the night ended with both of his hands cuffed together while you were nowhere to be found)

so yeah aha

"you know the drill," wooyoung deadpans, "it's extra crowded tonight so i want you to be within my sight at all times."

that should be easy

you give him a mock salute, "got it, dad!"

you do feel bad for your friends who have to take care of you whenever you're drunk so you're gonna limit yourself to only 3 shots tonight

yeah you can do that !!! :-D

.........

turns out,,, you can't limit your insatiable drinking habits

you lost count over how many glasses you've had and oh my god wooyoung's gonna be so pissed!!!!

you don't even know where he is

you're just lazing around in between the swarm of bodies on the dance floor

you've gotten to the point where the high to dance waded off and now you just want to sit down and relax

and that's exactly what you were gonna do

until you accidentally stumbled out of the club

"woah!"

everything seems to fall into slow motion

next thing you know, you're engulfed into a pair of arms, your face crashing against a warm pair of tiddies chest that cushions your landing after you drunkenly fling yourself out of the club's exit

a pair of large and warm hands cup around your waist to steady you

your dazed eyes look up to see a man with sleepy doe eyes that blinks in surprise and soft chocolate hair that's slightly tousled

he looks adorable (this is you speaking)

and hot (this is your drunken alter ego speaking)

and you're pretty sure you're gaping like a fish

mom i want him

you wrap your previously flailing arms around his waist, unconsciously pulling him closer as you happily croon

"yooou look like myh future boyfriend!"

the handsome man in your embrace lets out a deep chuckle as amusement crosses his face before concern pools in his eyes once he belatedly realizes the state that you're in

if you weren't so drunk right now, you'd probably swoon over how respectful his hand placements are; his hands lift to linger above your waist as he tries to keep you steady-- not touching you but also making sure he'd be able to catch you in case you topple off him

the bare minimum but it's still cute ok

"hi," he softly greets and you have to bend your neck all the way up because tHIS MAN IS TALL just so you can continue staring at his face in awe

"you're sooo tall !!oof-" you drunkenly stumble more into him as you loudly remark on his height, gaining attention to the both of you

he protectively pulls you in just a little bit closer to him, eyes taking in the amount of iffy strangers that have their eyes lingering on you for too long

"do you know where your friends are?" he softly hums, gently brushing away the sweaty strands of hair that stuck to your face so he can look at you properly

yunho knows he can't leave you alone, not with how your eyes are drooping and your speech slurring even though he desperately wants to catch up on more sleep after he did a little snack run to the convenience store

and it's currently 4 hours before he has to wake up for his morning class :-(

he knows he'll regret not getting enough sleep for his class but,,,

he'll regret it even more if he just leave you all alone

"they're all inside!" you giggle while your finger points to the entrance of the club

a bout of chilly wind suddenly breezes past you and you shiver because oH NO you left your purse and coat in the lockers!!!!!-

a warm jacket that smells of vanilla and steamed milk suddenly sits atop your shoulders

"are you cold?" the boy in front of you frowns as he adjusts his grey jacket over your body, "you should call your friends and ask them to come get you."

you didn't even notice when he gently pried your arms off him so he can shrug off the jacket he's wearing to give to you

hE'S SO-

the boy yelps when a shoe is suddenly hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, "what the fu-"

"hEY !!!!!!!"

you both turn at the sound of the high pitched shriek to see a tiny boy with red hair and smoke coming out of his ears while holding a purse and two coats with one of his socked feet missing a shoe

"gET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM!" wooyoung dashes at you both with an inhuman speed and launches himself to grab you by the wrist and tuck you behind him

"sorry man," the kind stranger lifts both of his arms into the air to show that he means no harm, "i was trying to help them find their way back to their friends."

wooyoung's like oh when he turns back to see you nod in confirmation and his hostility diminishes in an instant

"oh thanks man :-D i guess you're cool :-D what's your name :-D ?"

"it's yunho."

"well, i'm y/n!! and this is my best friend oomph- wooyoung!!!!!!"

and wooyoung's like c'mon y/n we have to get you back to the dorms and you're like waIT A MINUTE I HAVE TO RETURN THIS JACKET-

"no it's okay you can keep it," yunho assures you with a shy smile

"you look better in it anyway."

he's so- ahaue@$#@3ahgru

"take out your phone." you hiccup and yunho shoots you a confused look but obeys anyway

"listen carefully," you cutely hiccup again with your hands on your waist and yunho has to stifle a laugh at your endearing antics, "i'm gonna recite my number for you."

at that, yunho's eyes comically widen and he fumbles to quickly pull up the phone app

"i'm listening!!!"

kang yeosang

when you ordered for an android that will help you around your apartment, you did not expect this

"delivery for y/n?"

you excitedly peer at the tall box that was wheeled in by the delivery man after thanking him

only faltering once you notice something odd

the label on the box reads KYS-1117

hmmmmmmm

you're sure that you made an order for PSH-1024, an android that's promised to be a clean freak and will keep your housing as neat as possible

pshhhh there's no way a highly renowned tech company that sells expensive androids could make a simple mistake like that right? :-D

yeah ! :-D

so you grab your exacto knife and get to the best part of receiving packages -- unboxing !!!!!

you excitedly dive into ripping the box apart, mindlessly flinging away the handbook that was neatly attached to it because how hard can it be to activate an android?

a very handsome android, it turns out

you peer through the glass window of the white pod that houses a blonde boy laying so peacefully you almost didn't want to wake him up

you fumble around and managed to press a button that lifts the lid of the pod, emanating trendils of mist to reveal a clearer vision of the boy with golden blonde hair, eyes closed as if in a deep sleep

"woah," you murmur, bringing your head closer to take a better look at the android. you somehow expected a normal looking one instead of an android who looks like he just won a beauty peagant but hey,,, you're not complaining :3

you crawl across your living room, grabbing the handbook you set aside and immediately flip open to the first page

how to turn on your android: a guide

aha! here we go

you reach out to poke around the android's neck to press on the disguised button to power him up, ignoring the flame scorching your cheeks at the thinning distance between you and his face

his eyelashes flutter as his eyes slowly open and falls on you as you back away from his personal space

you just kinda stay on your knees (not in that way!!!) in front of his pod, because well..... you don't know what to say to him.....

he's slowly blinking, seemingly fighting sleep, as he trains his gaze on you

this is awkward........ (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ

the silence stretches for another minute before the blonde beauty finally speaks

"There must be something wrong with my eyes."

"huh??" you panic, quickly turning back to the handbook in your hands and flipping the pages frantically. "what's wrong?? does it hurt??? maybe there's something about that in here--"

"... Because I can't take them off you."

:-D ....

you're ... gobsmacked

"uHHH ahhahahHHahHa, nice joke?????"

you really don't know what to say

he smiles, effectively blinding you because, holy shit, this man is too good looking to be an android cleaner wtf, and he gracefully steps out of his pod and crouches down in front of you to tuck your hair behind your ear WHAT IS HAPPENING

"What's your name, doll?"

d-d-doll ????

"uh,,,, it's y/n"

"It's nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm KYS-1117, you can call me Yeosang."

he flashes another charming smile and oop yeah that's all it takes

if you weren't kneeling on the floor, you'd probably pass out

but wait a minute,,,, did he say-

"huh,,,, they did get the order wrong," you mumble to yourself

you don't notice yeosang's face contorting in confusion

"Am I not to your liking?"

your eyes snap back to his warm brown eyes that flashes a hint of hurt before disappearing all too quick

oh no

you managed to hurt an android's feelings (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)

"no no !!!! there's nothing wrong on your part !!" you vigorously shake both of your hands in front of you. "it's just,, i think they sent me.... uh, the wrong ..... android."

"Oh."

yeah...... oh

"Would you like me to contact our customer service? You'll be guaranteed to receive your correct order and compensation, of course."

yeosang lowers his head to face the floor while his voice falls flat; a stark contrast to the charismatic lilt he greeted with you previously

you don't need a degree in psychology to tell that he's visibly upset at the fact that you're gonna return him

it makes you feel worse because no !! this isn't your fault

and you can't ignore the fact that he looks absolutely human right now

okay, you do have to give props to the tech company who, despite messing up your order, did a good job at making their androids realistic

maybe a bit too good because,,, you're getting swayed by him rn

which is weird because aren't androids supposed to NOT have emotions?????

you sigh to yourself

"can you clean?"

the blonde snaps his head to look at you. "I'm sorry?"

woop here it goes

"i'm not returning you," you shrug. "i bet that's gonna take another 2 months to process and i don't see why i should do that when i have you."

you can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to process what you just said

you give him a small smile that you hope is comforting and that it somehow tells him that he's not going back to (you presume) a lab that's probably a hellhole

he perks up at your words, his body rocking back and forth as he excitedly informs you, "I'm not specifically programmed to be a cleaner android, but I can learn! I'm known to be a fast learner!"

"okay,,,,, that's settled then!" you happily reply

this is great, a win-win solution! maybe you should also ask yeosang to get compensation for the mistake they made without returning him

in that way,, you won't have to wait for ages to get another android and you get money !!!!!!

phew

"if you don't mind me asking, what are you specifically programmed to do?"

"Oh! I'm a boyfriend android!"

what did he SAY (o_O) !

bonus

... "yeosang,, why do you talk like that?"

"Ah. Is the way I talk not to your liking?"

you shake your head frantically, "no!! no!!!! it's nothing like that! just that you kinda talk like you use proper capitalization and punctuation all the time aha"

yeosang blinks

"Am I not supposed to?"

"no!!! it's perfectly fine,, i was just hoping you could be more relaxed around me :-D"

relax. yeosang tilts his head at that word

"I am. Relaxed."

you stare at him

his ramrod straight back against your couch, feet planted perfectly side by side on your floor and his hands placed politely on his lap

meanwhile, your figure sprawls messily on the spot next to him

"yeah,,,, okay"

choi san

you felt it once you stepped foot outside the 24 hours supermarket

that feeling of someone watching you

you try to quench it down, thinking that it's just paranoia creeping on you because it's almost 3 am and eerily dark outside

but then you hear it

footsteps.

not too loud, as if the person does not want to be heard, and you realize that their footfalls match yours

they're keeping up with your pace

you feel your heart rapidly race as you curse yourself for leaving your phone because it's charging back home

is it a good idea to run?

you discreetly turn your head to the side, seeing a man way bigger than you with his hood up in your peripheral vision

and his dark gaze straight on you

shit

you attempt your best at nonchalantly flicking your head back forward, hoping that he doesn't realize that you know that he's following you

the streets and sidewalk both remain empty, rows of closed shops greeting you instead of any taxis or people that could help you

you're completely on your own

you inwardly sigh, making a detour to head towards the main street because there's no way in hell you're leading this creep straight back to where you live and if you can be in a busier street, that would be much better

after walking for what felt like hours, you notice the unmistaken colorful lights that shine red, orange, and green from a convenience store's banner

omg

!!! a convenience store !!!!!!

you quickly pick up your pace, not caring over how the man behind you also start to fasten their steps, and you immediately swing open the glass door once your fingers grasp at the handle

your eyes fall to the cashier, a teenager, probably, who looks like he's not older than 18, and at the brink of dozing off into a deep sleep

tears prick your eyes as you feel the panic finally start to overwhelm you because you don't think this kid can do anything besides being scared with you if you drag him into this

but you kinda have no choice

as you step further inside the convenience store, ready to approach him, you notice a mop of messy raven hair near the cold drinks aisle

you feel the presence of the creepy man looming behind you, ready to step into the convenience store as well

you gulp, shivers running down your spine at the thought of being in a close proximity with the stalker

hell no

the cashier's way too close to the entrance

you need to move somewhere further away

you make a beeline for the raven haired boy at the back of the store grabbing two small sized cartons of milk, tightly lacing your arms around his side, your groceries in a bag swishing wildly against him as he looks at you in surprise

"hi, babe!" you loudly greet the stranger, making sure the man who just rang the bell atop the convenience store door as he enters heard you

you shoot wide eyed glances that hopefully screams 'help!' at your temporary pretend boyfriend

who happens to be very handsome btw

"i'm sorry i took so long, you must've been waiting for me," you continue, eyes roaming around the store and quickly spotting the man in front of the aisle you're both in, quietly listening on to your conversation. "the grocery store was so far away! i shouldn't have insisted on going out alone."

the boy you're latching onto must've gotten the memo (at speed record too!) as he quickly wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and he lets out a chuckle

"it's okay, baby. let me just pay for these, yeah? mingi and wooyoung are waiting for us in the car outside."

he purposefully raises his voice at the last sentence, making sure that the creep he noticed won't stop staring at you would understand that it'll be a 3 against 1 if he tries anything

gently tugging you by your waist to the other side of the store, away from the man's prying eyes, the boy takes you in with concern furrowing his brows

"are you okay?" he softly whispers, grasping the two cartons of milk in one hand as his other move from your waist to settle comfortingly on your shoulder to soothe you

"yeah," comes your shaky reply, eyes still glancing warily towards the front of the store. "just need to get him off me."

"do you want me to drive you home?" he asks, face quickly grimacing at his insensitivity and he scrambles to replace his offer. "ah, that probably sounds scary. do you want me to call you a cab instead?"

you thank the universe for gracing you with the kindness of this stranger

"sure, that sounds good."

you both finally arrive to the cashier after circling the store, waking up the cashier who begins to lazily ring up the boy's items

his arm wraps around your waist again once he notices the man lingering too close to the both of you and he quickly grabs his paid items after muttering a small 'thank you' before dashing out the door with you by his side

you look behind you, freezing when you see the man with his eyes still on you beyond the glass doors

"the passenger seat's empty, you can sit here first while waiting for your cab, if you want," the raven haired boy offers, opening the passenger seat door of the car parked right outside the store

you enter the car, letting the boy shut the door beside you as you settle down and try to calm your racing heart

"hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!!!-- uhmm, who are you?"

you turn to the backseat to see a redhead with a nosy expression, his limbs tangled with a blonde boy's own limbs who also sports the same expression, although his looks more confused than nosy

"some creep was following them on their way home," said the raven haired boy, already settling down on his own seat and shutting the door as you look over to the driver's side

"what?" an angry yell sounds from behind, the blonde seemingly trying to untangle himself from the redhead as he desperately tries to claw the car window. "that fucker!"

"mingi!" reprimands his friend in the driver's seat, his head shaking at his friend's antics and he looks at you with an apologetic look. "sorry about him, they both had a little too much to drink. i'm san, by the way"

"san," you repeat his name, and told him yours. "thank you for helping me back there."

"of course," san gives you a dimpled smile, pulling out a pack of mint chewing gum out of the plastic bag and offering it to you. "i heard chewing gum helps when you're nervous."

you must've been too focused on the man near you while he was paying that you didn't notice him grabbing it

and you know that you're not supposed to accept candy from a stranger but you kinda need it ok

"oh, thank you so much," you shyly thank him as you grab the pack. "you didn't have to."

"yeah, but i wanted to," he says, giving you another smile before grabbing the two cartons of milk and tossing them to his friends

"oUUUCH!!!!!! san you hit my head!!" the redhead wails, grabbing his head with both hands in dramaticized agony after the boxed milk bounces off his head while the blonde angrily yells that he does not want milk!!!!!!!

"a bunch of kids, both of you," san tiredly sighs and you almost giggle at his funny expression that resembles an exhausted dad dealing with his two rowdy toddlers

"drink the milk! you need to neutralize!"

"I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!!"

"MINGI SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT EVEN MORE"

what a cute friend group

you ended up asking san to drive you home because somehow, you feel like you can trust him

(he drove you home safely with his two drunken friends singing 2000s hits all the way home and you both exchanged numbers)

song mingi

the biggest regret of your life is moving in to a shared apartment that was listed on craiglist

yeah.... you don't know what you were thinking

your roommate is literally a descendant from hell

and not in the cool sexy demon way

but in the 'i've made it my job to make your life a living hell' kinda way

besides the fact that:

a) she never cleans up after herself (whether it be dishes, laundry, or anything, really) and,

b) she acts like you're the bane of her existence,,,

it feels like she has a guy over every night

and honestly, you have no qualms about her getting dicked down because good for her

but the walls are PAPER THIN

you really wonder how she never got a noise complaint over how loud she is

and you have to applaud her for her stamina because they would go for hoouuurs and you'd end up watching the sun rise without getting a wink of sleep everytime

it's gotten to the point where your friends are concerned because you'd show up to class or hangouts with eyebags and a murderous look on your face

your sleep schedule is so messed up

you'd do all your assignments during the night with your headphones in, go to classes during the day, then pass out right after your classes end

all of your friends are kinda on edge around you because they're scared you're gonna Snap™ one day lmao

anyways, you were just chilling one night with your headphones in (which you immediately put on after hearing the unmistakable high pitched noises coming from your roommate's room), waiting for it to be 8 am so you can go to your morning class

when your laptop suddenly lost connection to your wifi

and you hate working on your google docs offline !!!! >:-(

so you forced yourself to get up and go to the living room to see what's going on with your wifi router

only to find a butt naked man hovering over it

eeEEK

"what the fuck!!!" you scream, grabbing the nearest thing to you (a throw pillow on the couch) and launching it on the stranger who's very much naked in your living room

"what--" the man cries out, looking back to see you with your eyes closed just as the pillow bounces off his head. "who the fuck are you??"

you wish you kept your eyes open just to let him see your eyeroll but you quickly scratch that thought because you really don't want to see a stranger's dick at 7 in the morning

your nostrils flare at the nerve of whoever this guy is at your apartment

"excuse me??? who the fuck are you?"

turns out, his name is mingi, and you came to know of it after he got appropriately dressed, turned on and off your wifi router, and sat down across you to enjoy his breakfast that you made

you also came to learn that he's the one who made your roommate sound like a literal pornstar last night

"so, uhh.." the blonde awkwardly starts, gripping his cutlery as he pathetically tries to strike up a conversation while you're busy wolfing down your breakfast. "you cook often?"

the simple question turns into a long conversation that you surprisingly find yourself enjoying

not only is he super cute,,,, but he's also so fun to tease

you move to clear away both of your plates and mingi looks up to you in awe, "that was the best breakfast i've ever had."

you smile, "sure, and that will be $53."

"huh?"

your raise a brow, "you think i'm giving you free breakfast?"

you laugh when you see him scramble to pull out his phone and ask you for your venmo

"dude, i was just kidding," you reassure him, "but please give me a heads up if you're coming over to fuck my roommate again. i couldn't get a wink of sleep last night."

mingi turns a bright shade of red

jung wooyoung

you can't believe it

never in your life would you think you'd be a witness to MURDER

you were just calmly walking back home after meeting up with your friends when you spot a guy with both of his arms pointed to the sky

you had a "little bit" of soju during your monthly bbq hangouts with your friends, so your tipsy self took some time to openly judge and even snort at the stupid looking stranger

that is until, a golden bow materialises into his hold

what in the hunger games lmao

.... you scratch your eyes, hoping to clear your vision

his right hand reaches into the air again, seemingly pulling out two golden arrows with their tips dipped in crimson out of nowhere

wtf did someone lace your soju

and then he nocks them, one above the other, and draws the string back

is he about to shoot someone??????

he releases the arrows in the direction of two people conversing with each other in a playground's swing set not too far away from you and-- holy sHIT HE'S SHOOTING TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE

you hear the wind rip as the arrows zips through the air before embedding deep into the unsuspecting targets' chests

it took point three seconds for you to realize what the suspicscious man did

and that's when you scream

very loudly

but wait a minute

......... there's nothing

there's no blood, no dead bodies dropping to the floor, and the arrows that struck their chests somehow vanished into thin air

in fact, the two people he shot looks happier now

that's weird

but you continue to scream anyway

the boy whips his head to see you; a little tipsy and screaming your head off, and when your eyes lock with one another, his eyes go impossibly wider

he swiftly dashes off into your direction after carelessly throwing his bow into the air and wait,,,, did the bow just dissappear??? it was right there--

a hand suddenly clamps over your mouth

"stop screaming."

.................

you proceed to scream even louder

the boy lets out an annoyed grunt, somehow dragging you into an alley with his hand still clamped over your mouth and the other gripping the back of your head tightly

"look i need you to calm down, okay?" he lets out a huff, nervous hands running through his red hair -- a detail you just noticed with the moonlight shining on him

you finally stop screaming and he immedieately sighs in relief, loosening his grip on you

you take a good look at him

he's beautiful

"thank you," the boy nonchalantly replies, too distracted with looking out the alley to make sure no one saw you struggling against a body of air into an alley. "just to be clear, i didn't kill them okay? they're perfectly fine"

but you're not even listening to him

"you can read my mind?!"

"yes i can but that's not the point," the redhead squints. "i need you to understand that i didn't kill them and that you're not supposed to be able to see me"

you swallow

this guy might be cute but,,,,, you definitely wouldn't risk it because he's weird weird

"umm okay, mr. i'm-not-a-murderer,, what else would you be doing with a bow and arrow besides killing someone??? running your cupid errands or something haha????"

he knocks his head to the side, taking quick steps to near you that has you pinned against the wall as his eyes rake over you in scrutiny

"who sent you?"

pffft LMAOOO ｡ﾟ(TヮT)

"what are you on???" you breathe, having to take in a large gulp of air after literally laughing your ass off because of how ridicilous he sounds

there's an offended tick to the boy's brow, his stare drilling at you

you wipe tears from your eyes, "you're saying you're the cupid? or eros? or uh,,, whatever his name is"

the boy rolls his eyes, placing his hands in the pockets of his pants as he moves to lean against the brick wall beside you. "yeah,, cupid or eros works. but i prefer wooyoung."

your jaw slackens. this guy can't be serious

"okay, wooyoung. how do i know you're not lying?"

the same golden bow you saw earlier materializes in front of you out of nowhere, its grip in a firm grasp within wooyoung's hand

huh,,,, seems pretty legit

mhm okay you're sold, you guess you can tick off meeting someone supernatural off your bucketlist!

wooyoung chuckles, he must've read your mind again, and he turns to look at you at his side, mouth still gaping in awe at his glowing bow

"glad you finally believe i'm real," he smugly grins, flinging his bow to the side where it magically vanishes in mid-air

"although, you're really not supposed to be able to see me. you're the first mortal to ever do so."

you see curiosity lighting up his eyes but you also see something else

relief

"you're the first mortal to ever do so."

he probably has uh godly friends up there but,, you can't imagine how lonely it must feel to walk on earth without anyone acknowledging you,,,, as if you don't exist

everyone should have someone around!!! D-:

"let's be friends!"

"what?" his eyes fall back to its usual indifferent gaze, this time, with a tinge of nervousness. "i don't even know your name, how are we supposed to be friends??"

"hush, i know you know my name from the beginning. you probably read it off my mind," (you're right), "now come on! you have to show me some more of your katniss everdeen side!!"

"katnip what??" he yelps in disbelief, figure remaining still despite the incessant tugs on his wrist by your attempt of pulling him out of the alley

"and i don't need friends!"

he was about to go off more about how people would think you're batshit crazy because they won't be able to see him and- oop his back is off the wall now, yeap he's moving out the alley with you successfully pulling him

"yes you do!" you turn to look at him and made a stop once you both are out of the alley, a grin makes it way on your face. "i can't believe it!!!! i'm cupid's first friend!!!"

a faint smile almost places itself on wooyoung's face because hey, being friends with you doesn't seem too bad

but he tramples it down with all his might, rolling his eyes and letting out a huff instead

"just follow me and keep your mouth shut."

guess he's stuck with you then

(he's a little bit happy about that. just a little.)

choi jongho

you knew you should've trusted your gut feeling on not going to the frat party

“but ynnnnnnnn,” one of your best friends, yuna, whines, “it’s been forever since you partied with us!!! just this one time please please !!!!!”

and you being the easily moved person you are reluctantly agreed after some more convincing

“don’t worry babe,” ryujin, another one of your best friends, reassures you while applying lip gloss in her vanity, “i’ll personally kick your ex’s ass if he tries anything on you.”

right, your ex

he’s the prime reason why you would not step foot in any more college parties because trust yourself when you say that he will be in every available party

but you know what

you’re kinda siCK of that !!!

so even though your ex is borderline crazy and threatens you to get back together even if you don’t want to

you’re gonna go to the party :-D

with your five besties protecting you

<333

“let’s go!!!” chaeryeong whoops with her head out the opened car window as yeji, the designated driver of the night, parks the car in front of the already blaring frat house

“now girls,” lia starts, “make sure your phones are always on okay?? and make sure at least one of us knows where you are—”

she’s interrupted by the door slamming open and oh yup there they go—

ryujin, chaeryeong, and yuna are already sprinting across the lawn to get to the house

you all exchange looks as lia lets out a sigh

it’s gonna be a long night

turns out, it’s gonna be an even longer night

specifically just for you

you were just in the kitchen trying to pour some vodka into your red solo cup when you lock eyes with him

your ex, stood in front of the opened fridge

woops what, vodka?? yeah i don’t need that because i’m getting outta here bye

“y/n, wait.”

you briskly walk to the living room slash dance floor with your eyes desperately trying to find your fiery friend who promised to kick the ass of the man currently following you as he tries to call after you

to no avail

you’re kIND of panicking now!!!!!

just then, a figurative lightbulb flickers above your head when your eyes land on a guy with dark brown hair with a cup of his own perched on a corner alone

you’re hoping this works

you practically sprint to him and he looks like his heart is about to pop off his chest at the sight of someone barrelling towards him at full speed

“i’m so sorry but i have a crazy ex who’s following me literally right now so can you please be my boyfriend for like 5 seconds?”

the words jumbled out of you in a haste— too quick for jongho to catch anything else besides ‘crazy ex’ and ‘be my boyfriend’ but he knows from your panicked eyes that you’re asking for help

and of course he will

jongho’s eyes scan around the living room, finally seeing the guy who he can tell is your ex by the determined steps he’s taking towards you along with his eyes set on you

ok yeah jongho agrees with you

because damn this guy does look like he’s crazy

he figures there’s nothing to lose

“yeah, sure.”

jongho expects you to probably just linger near him in hopes of your ex leaving or maybe he’d have to play the role of the protective “boyfriend” by landing a punch on your ex if he tries to pick on a fight

what he didn’t expect was your lips meeting his own

if jongho is an android, the wires in his head would've short circuit 

your arms move to wrap at the back of his neck and you slightly tip toe so you can reach him better

he almost faltered on the kiss because he finds that so cute 

only after you initiated the touch does he place his hands on your waist to pull you even closer as he surprisingly deepens the kiss into a sweet kiss

his soft lips slowly guide you into a slower tempo, smoothly taking charge by moving a hand to softly grasp your cheek while the other rubs comforting circles on your exposed waist 

YOU’RE TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BLUSH

“what the fuck– get off my girl man!”

you’re forcefully separated from the boy with a breathless gasp as your ex pins him against the wall

despite your ex shouting obscenities at him with a hand wrapped on the collar of his shirt, the brunette doesn’t look scared at all

in fact, he kinda looks bored

his eyes lazily rake over your ex and he indignantly smirks before letting out a deep chuckle that silences the boy in front of him

“how pathetic.”

his big shoulders effortlessly knocks your ex to the side as he shoots a glare at him

this time, he’s the one standing in front of your ex with his intimidatingly large figure towering over him

“if you ever touch her or even fucking try to look at her, i’ll make sure to let everyone in this house know to beat the shit out of you whenever we see you.”

that’s when realization seeps into your ex and his body immediately froze

“oh shit, jongho, i-i’m sorry man,” your ex stammers, silently cursing himself for blindly messing with one of the frat members in their own party, “i didn’t know that she’s yours.”

“she’s not a thing you can own,” jongho rolls his eyes, roughly pushing your ex off the wall and harshly slapping his hand on his back to force him towards the door’s direction, “now get out of here.”

as your ex scrambles out the door, you turn to face jongho with your head slightly muddled by the fact that 

a) you kissed a frat boy

b) he’s hot

c) oh and have you mentioned that he’s hot?

“you good?”

you scramble out of your thoughts to see him looking over you carefully, “yeah…. thank you for that.”

a gummy smile lights up his face and you’re kinda confused because this guy does not resemble the intimidation he showed earlier at all, “no problem.” 

ok go off duality king

“wanna get out of here?”

this is the first time you met a frat boy who’s not really interested in the party he’s in

but you like that :-D

you smile, “sounds good.”

[solaris-amethyst]

🪻Back off! I'm married!🪻

✨Pairing: Hongjoong x gn!reader ✨Prompt: There was this trend going around where couples would test how their partner would react if being hit on by someone. I feel like Wooyoung or Hongjoong would be a lot of fun to see try this! ✨Requested by @beabatiny🫶🏻 ✨Word count: 0.9k ✨Genre: fluff, non idol au, humor, partners au ☀️Authors Note: Here is the Hongjoong version like I promised, I hope you enjoy it❣️ I tried to explain the Bae Suzy smile that went viral because that's the closest I can come up with that looks similar to what I was envisioning Hongjoong doing😅 The scene with the oranges just came to me and I had to include it🍊

You were in the kitchen, slicing up some oranges to enjoy while watching some random documentary you'd found on Netflix the other day. Humming along to the tune of beauty and the beast as your boyfriend Hongjoong entered the kitchen area.

"Hey babe." He said casually as he draped himself over your back engulfing you in a hug. "What are you doing?"

"I'm slicing up some oranges, I was gonna watch a documentary later. Why? Do you want to do something?" you question him and he nod in response.

"Yeah I saw this thing where couples test how their partner reacts if someone hit on them and I kinda wanna try it. To see how I would react." He confesses causing you to look at him.

"Really? What spurred on this?" You ask curious to know.

"Ahh well I saw a video of it and then Wooyoung told us he did it with his partner and that they had lots of fun, so I wanted to try it too." He says looking a bit shy.

"Well of course we can do it if it's something you'd want to try. Shall we do it now?"

"Let's go to the living room where we'd have more space." He says, taking the plate of orange slices you had cut up with him.

"So I should pretend to be someone else and hit on you?" You asks to make sure you have understood it correctly and he nods eagerly giving you his cute little smile.

"Yes, you just pretend to be someone else and I'll act accordingly." He says as you two get into position and right before you're about to start he quickly tells you to wait putting up his phone telling you he wanted to film it.

Once he gave you the go ahead you walked up to him trying to come up with something to say.

"Hi there beautiful. Can you help me with which drink I should buy here at the pub?" You question and he looks at you before giving you a look where he gave you a smile where his upper lip went up giving you a half awkward smile, his nose scrunching up and his eyes looking straight at you with no indication that he was actually smiling.

He looked absolutely ridiculous causing you to laugh out loud.

"Joongie what are you doing?! You look so uncomfortable." You tell him between laughs.

"I'm trying to make you disinterested in me by doing that. Did it work??" He asks.

"Well I'm sure that someone totally random would leave immediately if you did that to them." You said giving him a pat on the back.

"Go back! Let's do it again. I wanna go again!" He says and you nod, loving that he was so excited to do this with you.

You pick up the plate with orange slices walking up to him.

"Hey want to try some of these orange? I cut them up specifically for you." You tell him trying to be more low-key to see what he'd do.

"Oh thank you." He takes a slice and put it in his mouth without taking off the orange peel under it.

"So, you're pretty cute and I saw you hanging out here alone, could I get your number?" You ask with a wink before he looks at you with wide eyes. The orange in his mouth causing him to look incredibly silly with the peel showing.

"Wha-" You stop yourself just staring at him not sure what to do and he gives you an eye smile before holding up his hand in a little wave and giving you a nod.

You step away finding it a bit weird.

"Babe you look absolutely ridiculous. I'm sorry, I love you but what on earth are you doing?" you say with a snort as he takes out the orange, throwing it in the trash can.

"Best way to get people to back off is to be weird is it not. But I am getting secondhand embarrassment for myself right now." He sighs, ears turning red as he realized he made himself look like a fool just now.

"Well if it makes you feel better I did find you cute in a weird way." You give him a kiss on the cheek before flirting with him again.

"I need your help, I need a big strong man to help me move all of these boxes here and you are the man for this job!" You force yourself into his personal space leaning onto him.

"Ummm sorry I am not big nor strong. Ask someone else." He says awkwardly, trying to push you off him.

"No! I need you no one else! We'd be perfect for each other!"

"Ah! No! I got a partner sorry!!" He manages to get out of your grip. But you won't let go that easily.

"I'm 100% better than your partner, I promise. I'll give you what you want!"

"NO! See!!!" He holds up his hand showing his ringfinger pointing to the promise ring the two of you had gotten each other on your 8th year anniversary. "I'm married!!! Back off please!!!" He points aggressively towards the ring causing you to back off with a Okay I'm sorry.

He then goes up to you giving you a big hug. One which you return happily.

"I think you don't have to worry at all babe. You did great." You tell him as he looks at you with those sparkling eyes of his and that cute little smile.

"Thank you for doing this with me."

"I'd always wanna do things like this with you Joongie, it's fun to relax and play around. But now, maybe we can sit down and cuddle, eat some orange slices and watch a movie or something." You say which he nods to.

"Gladly my love."

[taehyunismm]

ATEEZ'S FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT YOU ! (HYUNG LINE)

A/N: lol this is my first work after being on a longggggggg writing hiatus! (like two years) I honestly hope this doesn't flop but at the same time..you never know what’ll happen LMFAO just sit back and enjoy

cw: kys/kms jokes, cursing, some nsfw content (only for yunho and yeosang)

✰ HONGJOONG !

oh he loves how soft your hands are all the time

he will literally take your hands and rub your hands all over his face forcefully because he loves how they smell and how smooth they are.

"what are you doing..?" you say as he grabs your phone out your hand and starts rubbing his head all over your hands.

"im so sorry i just love the scent of your hands." he says giving the palm of your hands small lazy kisses.

"umm..okay you do your thing joongie!" you say as you play with his hair.

oh and do not get me started on his love for your hair.

he literally loves how soft your hair feels and how good it smells

he'll ask to put your hair in braids as an excuse to get close to your hair and smell it.

"okay what is up with you?" you can feel a big head coming in behind you.

"oh..im sorry my girlfriends hair just smells amazing!" he says twirling the ends of your hair.

"youre so weird but i love you."

oh he is OBSESSED with the way your body curves.

whenever you wear any kind of dress that fits your curves perfectly and really makes them noticeable he will go fucking INSANE.

he'll start stuttering throughout his sentences while your just staring at him confused on why hes so nervous with you in that outfit.

"i-i wow..?" hongjoong wipes his drool from his bottom lip turning back to reality.

"gosh do i look bad or something? pfft..im going to change youre making me annoyed." you say running your fingers through your hair and walking back to your closet.

"NO! i mean..no. you look..great! im just getting..flustered." he can feel his cheeks heating up after every word that comes out his mouth."

girl what the fuck

okay maybe hes right..you do look great and out of this world.

"okay..? anyways..lets just go, we're taking my car." you say throwing the keys to hongjoong as he catches them and follows behind you.

✰ SEONGHWA !

oh this man loves your eyes

he always finds some excuse to justify why hes staring at you

always asking to put your contacts in so he can admire how pretty your eyes are.

"pleaseee can i put them in?" he begs literally getting on his knees infront of the bathroom.

"i said no. im putting on my glasses today." you say while cleaning your lenses.

"but babyyy!" he says giving you a tight back hug and resting his chin on your shoulder while pouting.

"you are the biggest crybaby ive ever met."

he loves how competitive you are when it comes to games because its funny to watch when you rage quit

when you two were playing roblox obbys together you got mad that you accidently broke your laptop screen because you slammed it too hard.

"im going to literally fucking kill myself if you get to the end before me seonghwa." you say spamming your space button as many times as you can to avoid the red laser. you take a look at seonghwas screen since he was awfully quiet and you saw that he was already flying over the whole map with his stupid fucking rainbow trail.

"YOU FUCKER!" you say exiting out the game and slamming your screen down..and that does not end up well. you open your screen back up and your whole screen is shattered.

you start to tear up as you can hear seonghwas devilish laugh in the background.

"im calling apple care im not doing this right now.." you say taking out your phone and dialing their number for apple care waiting for them to pick up.

✰ YUNHO !

he is horribly obsessed with your face

like literally everything about your face weirdly turns him on

"please dont look at me like that i think im about to bust a nut in my pants." he says putting a pillow over on his lap.

"eww youre gross!" you say jokingly pushing him.

he wraps you in his arms and brings you on top of him cuddling you to death.

"could i get a kiss my pretty girl?" he says pouting and looking into your eyes with puppy eyes. you roll your eyes and scoff at the sudden question.

"fine." you say connecting your lips to yunhos while running your fingers through his soft hair, he slowly moves his hands to grip your ass squeezing it softly as you grind slowly on his clothed boner.

he groans softly in your mouth pulling away from the kiss and looking you up and down.

"gosh you are so beautiful, i fucking love how long your lashes are and how cute your lips are." he says softly caressing your cheeks as you put on your cheesy smile and burry your head in the crook of his neck.

✰ YEOSANG !

he loves when you cuddle him !

as you two are about to go to bed you both don't sleep with clothes on..really only panties for you and hes just wearing his boxers.

he really does love skin ship when it comes to sleeping with you

he likes to tightly hug you from the back whenever your mad at him and don't really want to look him in the eyes for the night.

oh and when your horny..he gets horny.

you rub your ass on his cock on purpose to see how he reacts even though you get the same reaction everytime you do it. he roughly pinches your nipples making you moan in pain.

"you bitch! that hurt!" you say turning around to him pouting. he laughs in your face as he caresses your hair.

"well your the one that wants to be bad. do you really want to test my waters right now?" you look him in the eyes with a smirk and tilt your head.

"do i sir?" you say smashing your lips onto his in an instant.

anddd the rest in most definitely up to your imagination! LMFAOO have fun!!

[mingkist]

hello idk if you take requests but if you do i have an idea

bf idol!ateez finding out they weren't their gf's bias at first <3

(i love lavender haze so muchhhh)

bf idol!ateez finding out they weren’t your bias at first

this is so fun sksk im sorry it took so long, i hope you like it!! im glad you liked lavender haze!! <33

p. ateez tag: @italiekim @realjonko @aestheticsluut @rielleluvs @youngestdelacour @alanniys @dogsongy @mingiholic @sankatchu @stopeatread @miriamxsworld @ka-ni-ma @sstarrysshit @nvmbheart @lazypostfandomer @side-effectss @haechansbbg

[thelargefrye]

NEW JEANS, NEW ME ... one - shot ( 17+ )

pairing : rowdy boy!hongjoong x powerpuff girl!idol!f!reader ; crush!idol!seonghwa x powerpuff girl!idol!f!reader ; fanboy!mingi x powerpuff girl!idol!f!reader x fanboy!san (platonic)

genre : powerpuff girls au, idol au, fluff, comedy, mention of rivals with benefits, mutual pinning

word count : 1.9k

warnings : language, powerpuff girls canon violence, jealous siblings / fighting (but add superpowers to it), sister / girl code and breaking it, talks about relationships / situationships

suffer tag : @sanjoongie

note : ALSO– new header type for this fic because i wanted to try something new!! make sure to let me know what you think about this au

playlist : POWERPUFF GIRLS UNITE

years ago you use to fight crime with your sisters. you all were known as the powerpuff girls to the city of seoul. you have since quit the life of being a superhero and instead chose the path of becoming an idol.

you were furious. you felt nothing but rage and your vision red as you stomped up the stairs and to the room that you knew your sisters would be in. more specifically where your sister haneul would be.

you threw the door open, it reared back and slammed into the wall, startling your three sisters.

"y/n? what's wrong?" julie, the youngest of the four of you, asked as she sat on the bed, flipping through a magazine.

"you fucking bitch! i can't believe you!" you say, pointing at haneul. julie lets out a shocked gasp at your language. the eldest of you all, celine, also looked shocked as she and julie watched you march up to haneul who sat at the vanity.

"you know i like seonghwa, and that i have been talking to him! what gives you the right to try and flirt with him!" you say looking at her, ready to shoot laser eyes through her if you could.

haneul only lets out a laugh before she's turning back to look at herself in the mirror. "gosh, y/n, is that why you came storming in here like a madwoman? because of the nation's boyfriend, park seonghwa?"

"why are you like, haneul?" you ask, hands on your hips as you look at her in the mirror. she seemingly ignores you for a moment, too busy putting her blush on to answer you. this causes you to let out a laugh, and she stops to raise an eyebrow at you. "i know what this is about."

"oh do you know?"

"yeah," you say walking around her, slamming your hand on the vanity and effectively slamming it in half. "you're jealous."

"me? jealous of you? why the hell would i be jealous of you?"

"come on you two, don't fight," julie tries to speak up, but you ignore her.

"because i'm more likable than you, haneul! i'm smarter, prettier, popular, and seonghwa likes me. not you," you can't help the smirk on your face as you watch haneul let out a huff and an eye roll.

"whatever," she says, shoving past you to walk to the closet. "i am not jealous of you, y/n. i'm not the one that quit the group to be a stupid pop idol," she says as she pulls out a top from the closet. more specifically your top.

"and that's my top!" you say, pointing to the pink, sequin top with the heart cut-out that was in her hands. you grimace at her manicured hands touching your things and it only makes you angrier.

"you bought this top months ago, and haven't worn it. what does it matter?"

"it matters because i bought it and don't want your bitchiness all over it," you yell, feeling your fist clench tightly and heating up ready to blast her.

"enough you two!" celine says, getting between the two of you before you could get any closer to each other. "if you both can't say anything nice, then shut up!"

"tell her not to flirt with seonghwa!" you yell, looking at celine hoping she would take your side on this. "it's totally against sister code or something!"

"y/n, i understand what you are saying, but you cannot just come in here and destroy things," she says before turning to haneul who looked bored out of her mind. "haneul, you have been acting like a total bitch lately and it's getting on my nerves. put the top back, i don't care if y/n hasn't worn it yet or not."

"ugh, whatever," haneul says tossing the top haphazardly back into the closet. "i can't believe you need celine to defend you, y/n. what? your stupid singing and dancing made you too weak to defend yourself?"

"i can handle you, don't forget whose stronger than who."

"we're not kids anymore y/n, you not as strong as you think you are anymore. and i'm sure seonghwa knows that too," she pauses, a smirk gracing her lip gloss covered lips. "maybe that's why hongjoong also wants me more than you as well? haven't you wondered why he hasn't called you back in a while?"

"what the fuck did you just say?" you couldn't believe she was now bringing hongjoong into this.

"you heard me, me and joongie have been getting to know each other quite well lately," she says and you watch her pull out her phone, flicking through it with her ugly nails before shoving the screen in your face. and sure enough there was a picture of her and hongjoong hugging, haneul was making a kissing face and hongjoong was grinning his stupid face off as they posed together.

you felt something surge through you the longer you looked at the picture. then before you could think, you snatched the phone from her and chucked it out the window. the phone smashed through the window, sending glass everywhere. julie let out a surprised scream scooting away from the flying glass as if it would actually hurt her.

"you bitch! i just got that new phone!" haneul screamed at you as she reached past celine to grab at you. celine did her best to stop your sister, but it was pointless. not like you wanted her to stop haneul anyways, it had been awhile since you fought anyone anyways.

haneul easily pushed celine away, the eldest and leader of the group stumbled a little before regaining her composure. you could see the rage in celine's eyes, like she was ready to duke it out with haneul as well.

then without another thought, you jump at haneul, your fist coming and landing a harsh punch to her face. the two of you fall to the ground and you can hear julie yelling at you both to stop. you feel haneul landing a punch to your jaw and you know your manager and makeup artist will have a stroke, but right now in this moment you don't care.

you feel someone pull you off of haneul and your sister uses this moment to bring her leg up and kick you. thanks to her super strength – that all four of you have by the way – she sends you flying across the room and through the wall. you are sent outside of the house, rubble flying all around you as you regain your self. hovering in the air, you glare at your sister who stands at the hole in your house before she's now hovering in the sky as well.

then without a second thought the two of you are flying at each other, throwing punches and laser beams at each other. at one point, you grab haneul by her top before throwing her across the city, watching as she zooms further and further away from you. but you quickly fly after her in order to continue your assault on her once she crashes into either the ground or a building. whichever one, you didn't care as long as it hurt.

you easily glide between buildings before you see haneul laying in one of the city intersections. she lets out a groan before she's standing back up, a glare on her face as she looks up at you before jumping back up into the sky.

"wow, i can't believe how low you've become," she says with a smirk on her bruised face. "to come fight your sister over some guys!"

"says you, hannie! you're the one that's desperate to go after boys that i like and you know like me back," you throw back at her. she scowls at you before shooting towards you; however, before the two of you could continue your fight a figure appears in between the two of you.

"fuck off, hongjoong," you say immediately recognizing the figure in front of you. the former villain turned hero lets out a laugh as he turns to look at you. "this doesn't concern you."

"doesn't concern me? pretty girl, i think it does when it comes to destroying the city," he says turning fully to look at you.

"whatever," both you and haneul say in unison with a huff and it reminds you in that moment how you are both sisters. haneul doesn't say anything else before she's flying away, zooming past both you and hongjoong and leaving the two of you alone.

"hey, y/n–

"i gotta go, hongjoong, see ya later," you say, cutting him off, remembering the picture your sister had shown you and her and hongjoong together. you quickly fly in the opposite direction that your sister flew in and now leaving hongjoong by himself.

"well what the hell did i do?" he asks himself. 

"and she tried to wear my fucking top!" you say, throwing your hands in as you wrap a bandage around your arm. mingi and san look at you with wide eyes, shocked at the story you had told them.

you had arrived at the two's apartment after your fight with haneul which was now trending on multiple platforms and gossip pages.

you had effectively plopped yourself down on their couch, mingi was the one to run and grab a first-aid kit before sitting next to you. you let out a huff as you began treating your injuries.

"like she broke major sister code, who does she think she is, huh? and stupid hongjoong!"

"rowdy boys' hongjoong?" san says a little surprised that you are bringing the hero up. how did hongjoong fit into this when he thought haneul was trying to steal seonghwa away from you.

"yes, that stupid bastard! we've had an agreement for a while now, and he should know my sister is off limits!" you say, throwing your head back against the couch. your head rests against the back as you look up at the ceiling. their ceiling fan on and humming annoyingly in your ears. you honestly felt like shooting it from the ceiling, but refrained yourself. you couldn't go damaging their apartment when they're nice enough to let you crash here.

you remember when you first met the two males. both of them having been fans for years and it was only when mingi risked his life to help you, that you wanted to know them both to repay the favor. which is how they ended up becoming your best friends and also letting you bum off them when you were too mad at your sisters – mainly haneul – to return home.

"are you saying there's something going on between you and hongjoong?" san asks and you turn to look at him, deadpanned and tired expression.

"its a situationship," you begin to say, "we have this kind of benefits relationship. i go to him to blow off steam and he comes to me for the same thing."

"whoa, who would have thought," mingi said, completely shocked by the news that you just told him. "so what's up with him and haneul?"

"the fuck if i know!" you say, standing up and throwing your arms in the air. "i'm honestly so fucking mad at haneul, i can't even see straight. i need to go lay down, can i stay here tonight?"

"uh, sure," mingi and san say in unison and you thank them before trudging off to their spare bedroom. you close the door behind you before collapsing on the bed, not even bothering to pull the blanket over you.

you let out a sigh before you close your eyes and allow sleep to consume you, knowing you will have to face the consequences of your actions later.

but first a nap.

tag list : @frankenstein852 @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @marahleiwhen @kpopnightingale @harry-the-pottypus @pyeonghongrie @sanniesbum @marvelahsobx @khjcoo @mysticfire0435 @exfolitae @dementedaly @simeonswhore @moonm1st @nvmbheart @spooo00oky @frgogh @sookacc @seongwin @burnsmepls @ad0rechuu @tunaasan @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @cheesekimchi @confusedmoonchild777 @mjyungi @innieontop @iweirdthingsblog @s0obinluvr @worcesheshestershiresauce @moonlightgrleric @wineyoungie @jeongwangjessmina @lemineso

network : @cultofdionysusnet @cromernet

[deepthoughtsallday]

“WORK” teaser by Ateez, from KQ company really reminded me of something…

Like why they looking at my boy like that-

What did he do wrong 💀

[justaaveragereader]

The Worlds Loudest Wingmen

Wooyoung and San help “prep” Yeosang for his very first date. Did I forget to mention they were the loudest/worst wingmen ever?

Pairing: Yeosang x Reader, College AU

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Word Count: 2.9k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is this a good idea?” Yeosang lowly whispered without trying to look suspicious.

“This plan is foolproof. Trust me.” Wooyoung cackled loudly.

“You are a fool Woo.” San spoke up suddenly. Initiating a small argument to break out between the two. Causing static to grow loud in sound in Yeosangs earbud that was currently hidden behind his long black hair.

Two weeks ago you had finally approached Yeosang, if you had waited any longer for him to approach you, you would’ve died single and alone. After getting the constant reassurance from Wooyoung, you decided to bite the bullet and ask Yeosang out.

-

“Are you sure he likes me..? Wooyoung I don’t know…”

“Quit being a chicken, look at him, he’s nuts about you!”

There sat Yeosang who was looking at you, straight faced. Not a smile, a smirk, a frown, nothing. Your eyes moved to his, sending him a brief smile. You think he would’ve looked away, or maybe sent you a small smile, but no. He continued to look dead at you. Wooyoung and Yeosang had been bestfriends for over eight years now. It should’ve come easily to you to trust Woo when it came to Yeosang but at times Wooyoung was very dramatic and very much a send off.

“That is a look of love.” Wooyoung spoke loudly in your ear before giving you a slight shove Yeosangs way.

Stumbling slightly over your own feet you venture forward, ready to ask Yeosang out, it’s not like you had a crush on him since you met him…well, maybe, just slightly. You were pretty sure your heart was going to beat out of your chest, your hands were sweating, and it didn’t help Yeosang had his eyes locked on you.

As you made your way over to where Yeosang was you tried your best to look confident. Palms were drenched in sweat, goosebumps littered your spine. Your body was sending a billion red flags, yet when it came to Yeosang everything red looked fuchsia. Standing right by his table side you decide you are going to go with a more straightforward approach. You had been around Yeosang so long you knew his habits, what time he ate, you even knew how he liked to fold his socks, you also knew the poor man was dense as hell. You had to tell him out right because he could never pick up on the obvious hints you had dropped.

You stopped just a couple feet before Yeosang, biting your lip slightly. Looking over your shoulder, you see Wooyoung giving you a thumbs up, and San? When did San join in on this? Turning your attention back to Yeosang.

“H-Hey Yeosang!”

He dead panned at you, offering you a small smile, letting you know he was acknowledging your presence. Taking a deep breath in, chanting in your mind that you got this! Just be straight forward!

“How are you tod-.” Yeosang was cut off quickly before he would even finish his sentence.

“They opened up a new Italian restaurant up the street, Saturday, 5:30pm, you and me. Be there or be square.”

Nodding your head you turn on your heel and walk away briskly, avoiding the area in which Wooyoung and San are standing. Not wanting to hear if the man was going to reject or accept your offer. As you got closer to your exit you were internally smacking yourself. Who the hell says “be there or be square”!? Groaning, you realized you didn’t even ask Yeosang for his number! Rubbing your temples you hoped that Yeosang would show up, Wooyoung has told you numerous times to “put yourself out there” and this was you doing such.

Wooyoung and San quickly flocked to Yeosang. Wooyoung couldn’t hide the grin he had on his face, coming up and poking Yeosangs side.

“I saw Y/n talking to you. How did that go?”

Yeosang lightly smacked Wooyoungs hands away, clearing his throat slightly, still taken back by your offer of a date.

“She wants…but I have to…or I’m a square….” Yeosang had quietly whispered to himself.

“What about a square? Did she call you a square!? Well she’s a fucking circle!” San spoke loudly, grabbing Yeosangs shirt and pulling him to his chest.

Were Sans' actions supposed to be comforting? In his eyes, yes. Was it actually comforting? No. Lightly grabbing the back of his head to coddle him like a baby, Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

“What did she say Yeosang?!”

Yeosang had attempted to speak but was muffled by Sans overly grown shoulders muffling his mouth.

“Forget what that mean woman said Yeosangie, I’m here. She’s such a fucking circle, calling my Sangie a square.” San spoke through a pout.

Fed up, Wooyoung splits Yeosang away from San, giving him a stern look.

“San you are an octagon, now for the last time ...WHAT DID SHE SAY?!”

“She said 5:30pm, the new Italian restaurant, be there or be square.”

Muttering quietly to himself “If I’m an octagon, that means you are a triangle you idiot.”

Wooyoung bit his lip trying to hold in his laughter, turning away from his two friends so all they saw was his back slightly shaking. Giving them the impression that he was crying when in reality he was trying not to drop to the floor and roll around with laughter. Bringing his fingers up to his temple trying to figure out what kinda “smooth talk” was that?! “Be there or be square” who even says that anymore?!

San brings his hand up to Wooyoungs shoulder.

“I know…I know…I can barely stand it, the thought of Yeosang going out on his very own first date…it has me shaken too. I knew this day would come…just not so soon.”

San spoke in a descending tone, he was shocked that someone had approached Yeosang and asked him out, Yeosang had yet to be in a relationship, 24 years alive and they have never seen the man date anyone. Making San turn into momma bear mode.

“Are you going to go on the date?”

Woo asked after finally settling down from laughter, turning around now to face both of his friends.

“Yea…Yea I am!”

He was hesitant at first, but with a couple more seconds of thought he gained some confidence! He was going to go on this date! He was going to go and have a good time! His internal pep talk was now reaching the surface of him. Making Wooyoung hype him up.

“Whose going on this date?”

“I am!”

“Who’s going to have a great time?”

“I am! I'm going to go, I’m going to have a good time! Im…I’m going to kiss her!”

Sans eyes grew big, hardly believing this was the Kang Yeosang that once brushed a girls hand and immediately flew to get some hand sanitizer because all the way til his senior year of highschool he was convinced girls have cooties.

“Kiss her..?”

San said quietly trailing off at the end of his sentence.

“Yea San! I'm going to kiss her! Then…then I’m going to marry her! Then I’m going to mow the grass at our house, because we are going to live together! Then I’m going to make sure me and her get matching drones to fly all over the city! ”

Wooyoung let out a loud cackle, bringing his hands up to the now cheesing Yeosang who was making small punching movements to the air out of excitement while San looked like he was having an internal crisis.

“Calm down there champ…let’s just work on the first date first. Yea? Wooyoung giggled out.

“Wait…Yeosang what happened to our “if we aren’t married by 40 we will marry each other” pact?”

Wooyoung smacked his lips, shoving San slightly to the exit door.

“You snooze, you lose San, now move it, his date is tomorrow and we need to prepare him.”

-

Yeosang fiddled with his long sleeve button up, clearly nervous. Looking at the entry door for any sign you were going to show up. His stomach has butterflies, butterflies mixed with antsy wasps at the same time.

“Yeosang?! Yeosang can you hear us?!” Wooyoung spoke loudly. He didn’t trust Yeosang to fully go on this date by himself so he styled Yeosangs hair in a way that it would cover the earbud sitting in his ear while Wooyoung and San were sitting in the car right outside of the restaurant, phone on speaker ready to coach Yeosang on how to be a ladies man. Yeosang fiddled with the phone in his pocket making sure the screen was facing his thigh so you wouldn’t notice the bright screen and see he was on a call with Wooyoung.

“Testing one, two, three, one, two, three, let’s go!” Wooyoung yelled, trying to snap Yeosang out of his thoughts.

“Don’t yell at him! He’s nervous!” San yelled at Wooyoung, smacking him on the arm.

“If he responded I wouldn’t have to yell!” Wooyoung yelled back at San, hitting him on the knee.

“Guys…Can you stop yelling please, it's hurting my ear…”

Yeosang spoke quietly, not wanting to cause any attention to him, no one could see the earbud in his ear so it truly looked like he was talking to himself.

“Sorry about that Sangie.” San says in an apologetic tone. Smacking Wooyoung one more time before turning his attention on the phone.

“How are you feeling? If you don’t want to do this you can always come to the car and I’ll get you some ice cream on the way home.” San was trying his best to comfort Yeosang, he wanted to rip the door off the car and fly into the restaurant and hold him.

“Stop babying him, he needs this push. He needs to have a love life. Stop coddling him.” Wooyoungs tone was laced with annoyance.

“The only one that’s going to get pushed around here is you! I’m going to push you right out of the car!”

“He’s not a baby anymore! Let the man breathe!”

“I’m going to make sure you aren’t breathing in a second Woo!

“Oh really?!”

“Yea! Really!”

“Guys…she’s here! What should I do?!” Yeosang spoke in a rushed tone.

“Stand up and greet her!” San spoke quickly, shoving Wooyoungs head back and grabbing the phone.

Yeosang quickly shot up hands brushing down his shirt trying to smooth out any wrinkles.

“No, sit down! She should come to you, make her work for it!” Wooyoung replied with disappointment in his tone.

Yeosang made a move to sit back down but Sans voice quickly spoke.

“No, be a gentleman and greet her! Stay standing!”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes at San, snatching the phone back.

As you approached the table, there was Yeosang in all his glory, you swore you saw a twinkle in his eyes everytime he looked at you. You could tell he was slightly nervous, his hands were shaking slightly and he kept smoothing his perfect, wrinkle free shirt down. You walked up to him just as nervous, a huge smile painted your face.

“Hey Yeosang, I’m glad you came!”

San and Wooyoung giggle slightly. Yeosang stood there wide eyed and in shock. You actually showed up, this was an actual date. A small smile graced his face.

“Thank you for inviting me. Shall we sit down?”

Biting a smile back you nod, pulling your chair out.

“Push her chair in!” San quickly spoke.

“You are such a simp…” Wooyoung whispered to San

“Manners maketh man, you small dummy.” San replied, flicking Wooyoungs ear.

Moving quickly, Yeosang pushed you in, making sure there was enough room between you and the table. He was giddy, walking back to his side of the table he sat down, hands gripping his knees. Was this the part where you guys were supposed to kiss, then work on the wedding invitations?

“Give her a compliment.” San had said with a smile on his face, the look Yeosang was giving you, truly was making him happy. He was looking at you the same way San looked at his memory foam mattress after a long day.

“Yea tell her she looks and smells delicious!”

Wooyoung chimed in.

Yeosang cleared his throat..”You look like you swim with fishes.”

Taken back by him speaking up, you slightly put down the menu, giving your attention to Yeosang.

Grabbing his collar slightly, the air was heavy to him, the nerves now were eating him up.

“I said…You look like you swim with fishes.”

“No, delicious!” Wooyoung shouted, while facepalming internally.

“I mean dishes!”

Your eyes go slightly wide, trying to hold back a laugh, you smile at him.

“Swimming with fishes huh? Trying to say I’m a mermaid?”

“Tell her she could be your Ariel!” Wooyoung shouts

“Have you ever been to a burial?” Yeosang says, like he’s on autopilot.

“I’ve been to a couple, things like that always make me uneasy.” You say with a small smile, eyes going back to the menu once again.

“I didn’t say that! Where the hell did you get a burial from Ariel?!” Wooyoung scream whispers.

Snatching the phone out of Woos grasp, San takes over.

“Compliment her outfit. Loosen up Yeosang, I’m sure she won't bite.”

Swallowing loudly, Yeosang takes a drink of his water.

“Your clothes look like they are made out of a good material.”

Looking down you run your fingers over the clothing you wore.

“Why thank you! I got them on sale! I love a good bargain.”

“Tell her you love a good deal too.”

“I love a good seal.”

“Deal! Deal!” San says in a hurry.

“Seal, seal!” Yeosang blurts out.

“I like seals too! I once saw one at the circus balance a ball on its nose. It was quite fascinating.”

Wooyoung wants to choke Yeosang out through the phone. He’s never seen someone fumble like this.

“Yeosang you have zero rizz!” Wooyoung yells, snatching the phone back from San.

“More rizz than you.” San says while thumping Woo on the shoulder.

Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung turns his attention back to you and Yeosang.

“Ask her if anything looks good to her on the menu.”

“Yea! Ask her if she has a favorite meal!”

“Do you have a favorite wheel?”

“MEAL!” Wooyoung yells, getting so frustrated at Yeosangs screw ups, he passes the phone to San, rubbing his temple. Frustration was clear on his face.

“A meal Yeosangie, meal.”

“Oh meal! Do you have a favorite meal!” Yeosang says with a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Honestly I’m pretty versatile I like to think! As long as it’s seasoned and tasty, I’ll give it a try!” You say with a smile beaming on your face.

“Do you have a favorite meal?” You ask back.

“My favorite meal?”

“Yea! Do you have one?”

“Tell her your favorite meal is her.”

“My favorite meal is purr.”

“Purr..? Like a cat?”

“Her! Her! Tell her it’s her!” Wooyoung said with a whine in his tone. His frustration was on level 1000 right now,

“Burr burr!”

“Are you cold? I think I have a jacket in my car, I can grab it if you want.” You push your seat back slightly, ready to stand up.

“No!”

“No!”

Both Yeosang, Wooyoung and San shout.

“I mean…My favorite meal is chicken…anything with chicken.” Yeosang rushes out.

“Yeo…is everything okay tonight..? Do you not want to be on this date?”

“Play hard to get!”

“No!”

“No…You don’t want to be on this date..?”

“No! I do! I do want to be on it!” Yeosang quickly rushes out.

“I’m just…I’m nervous. Wooyoung and San aren’t helping either.”

“I know they aren’t helping. You should’ve chosen better wing men.”

San and Wooyoung gasp, putting a hand on their chest like their hearts broke into two.

“How did you…?…”

“Well first starters they parked right outside of where our table is.” You look towards the glass, and stare at Wooyoung and San, who are clearly far from hiding themselves.

Letting out a small smile, Wooyoung waves to you. San just looks at you like a deer caught in headlights.

“Secondly, I heard them speaking when I was walking into the restaurant, they have their windows down and they aren’t the quietest people to walk this earth.”

“Did she just call us loud?” San says defensively.

“I think she did!” Wooyoung shouts.

“Oh…well that makes sense. I understand if you don’t want to continue the date…” Yeosang says lowly, his hands now gripping his knees.

“I want to go on a date with you, and you only. No other parties included.”

“You mean..”

“Yes, I like you a lot Yeosang, I was hoping…you kind of liked me too..?..” you say while playing with the napkins on the table.

He smiles brightly at you, his body does a noticeable shiver of excitement.

“I like you too. A lot, a lot, a lot. Maybe we should get married and just skip dinner right now!” He says with a huge smile plastered on his face. Maybe he didn’t need Wooyoung and Sans help after all.

San and Wooyoung let out a frustrated groan, they had a lot to teach Yeosang about relationships.

“Or if you want we can kiss and start working on our wedding invitations!”

“No!” Both San and Wooyoung shout.

A huge smile sketches across your face. This was going to be such a fun date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess who is back babbbbbyyyyyy?! Little ol’ stressy, depressy me😁! How have y’all been? It’s been so long, too long. I’m going to be more active now, I’m going to make sure I don’t disappear like that ever again. Any ways…how we feeling about this? I always love feedback, WooSan would make such a chaotic set of wingmen. Besides that…what did y’all think of their comeback?! Let me tell y’all Seonghwa?! BIAS WRECKING MEEEE! Yeosang and his vocals?!? I swear they make me want to chew on the sidewalk.

DO NOT REPOST.

[thatsatricky1]

[ad0rechuu]

★ MILKY WAY. ━━ (033) my babies (and kim hongjoong)

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NOTES. (i posted a lucifer fic yesterday and also the mingi pic was originally a different one so ignore whatever yunho is talking abt) swan n jongho r the official damage control (its a tough job) 😽 this was a fun chapter to write! also ignore how i misspelled whisky im dyslexic

TAGLIST. @bunnystrm @seongwin @aestheticsluut @meginthebuilding27 @gaebestie @stopeatread @pr1ncessm1ng1 @persphonesorchid @se0nghwaswife @seonghwasslytherin @leeknowsnothing @alixnsuperstxr @bluehwale-main @miriamxsworld @tocupid @rieuvie @sunoo-bby @jcngh0-hq @dudufodd @nikisbf @mrowwww @end0rchans @qtdenks @mintgki @dear-dreamie @leo-seonghwa @legohwas @evilsailorsenshi @seonghwaddict @choichaeyiul @iw4milf @yunstarz @cvberidiot @tubatu-wari-wari

[necessiteez]

so I just had the weirdest dream last night ummm it was about San 😭😭 okay so in the dream San, my older friend and I are all living in the same apartment and three of us were roommates. He isn't my bias just to be clear but I also love him. my older friend is the one who has San as her bias in the dream and irl

the wild part about all of this was that San and I had a thing????? and the feeling was mutual 🤸‍♀️ so the relationship wasn't established yet but we were both hinting that we wanted to have sex so it was really flirty but like we can't go any further because of our other roommate who didn't know we liked each other

yooooo the cockblock was real hsdhdhc anyway it became this slow burn humor of a dream and I woke up not getting any. the end!

[othersideoutlawsnetwork]

—Feedback: The Yeosang one made me chuckle because he would deadass ignore you until you have something he wants. And the reader insulting Mingi for literally doing his job is hilarious, but also let's be real he didn't have to do that at the Japan voyage LMAO. Wooyoung with the welcome home cheater is diabolical and definitely something he would do. Nice job Lola :)

𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛 𝒕𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕

genre: smau

rating: sfw (but has some vulgar words)

a/n: this is a first one i made, hope its ok. i find this kinda fun to make, (need more topics/ideas)

dividers

taglist: @engentiny @seonghw4ffles

networks: @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

[bluehwale]

ateez as actual texts i had with my friends | ot8! atz smau

pairing. ot8! platonic! ateez x gn! reader

genre. my attempt at humor, social media au

note. don't mind me im just procrastinating from my writings,,, also i had to translate most of these from my native language and damn english really took out the flavour T_T i hope it's still funny enough for u guys to get a few laughs !!!!! >:-D (ALSO I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MILLENIALS I WAS JUST ROASTING MY FRIEND)

warning(s). mentions of vape lmao, my friends and i aren't the most religious ppl sorry, hsm slander, talks of food poisoning and di*rrhea (never let me cook), im a business major lmao sorry

masterlist

smau taglist. @bloodline1632 @txt-yaomi @ka-ni-ma @ad0rechuu @jaehunnyy

[starry-nights-garden]

Ateez Reaction ✧ When they weren't your first bias

✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader ✧ genre: fluff, humor ✧ warnings: none

Hongjoong:

the nr 1 overly attached jealous bf in front of atiny so obviously he has to play his part when he finds out that you originally biased Seonghwa

makes you wish he had never found out tbh jdbdjxjjd

but you just can't deny it when he finds your old stash of Seonghwa photocards

"I'm not upset, it's fine. People's tastes can change." - says that while sounding VERY upset

will leave it at that for now but will get a giggle out of reminding you of this in the most unexpected moments

gives you a gift that you don't react to super enthusiastically: "Well, it doesn’t have Seonghwa’s face on it, so I get that you don't like it."

you don't hug him back once because you're distracted by something else: "Well, I'm not Seonghwa, so I get it."

you don’t pick up his call because you weren’t looking at your phone: “You’d have picked up if it was Seonghwa, right?”

will he ever stop? nobody knows

at this point you can’t even tell whether he’s just messing with you or if he’s actually still petty about it kasdjöfklas

Seonghwa:

his pride is definitely hurt when one day you mention to him that you used to be a Yeosang stan

“What do you mean? Like… I wasn’t your first bias?”

you try to brush it off by telling him people’s tastes change, it’s really not that deep

well, it is that deep to him kasdljföas

“Like… you liked someone else before me? It wasn’t love at first sight??”

turns out he always thought he was your first bias and now you just shattered his entire worldview ksdjfkal

needs to know exactly why you liked him, in as much detail as possible, so he can do better!!

thinks this is some kind of competition, even though your little celebrity crush on Yeosang is long over ksadjflkas

actually it’s quite charming and definitely entertaining to see him making such an effort, so you decide to watch for a while before starting another attempt at reassuring him that he’s just perfect the way he is in your eyes, and he can stop comparing himself with his team member now :’)

Yunho:

deliberately startles you by sneaking up to you from behind when he catches you watching a Mingi fancam

“Oh? What’s that?”

softly laughs at you when you instinctively hide your phone screen jasklfjösadk

but then you also scold him for surprising you like that

he’s quick to apologize and sits down next to you, already having figured out what’s going on

“Was your first bias Mingi?” - you can’t but admit to it

but Yunho just acknowledges it with a nod - he knows you like him best now and he doesn’t mind that you used to like someone else

“So your type are tall guys?” he questions and then laughs about it

yeah, this one’s just completely chill about it, really he sees no reason why he would be upset about something like this

Yeosang:

barely even reacts when you tell him that your first bias was Jongho

"Ah." - simply shrugs it off??

so you go on with your conversation which eventually drifts off to a different topic

you're thankful that he doesn't really mind or seem jealous

you'd go as far as to say you're glad you have such a mature boyfriend!!

... until you're about to walk away to go do something else and you hear him mutter something under his breath

"I'm much better than him anyway."

???

so you turn around and say "what" and he's fully ready to explain lol

"Well, first of all I'm more handsome than him. I'm also much nicer to you. Also I personally think I'm a better dancer."

gives you a full list of reasons why he’s better than him that sounds a little too much like he had prepared it in advance jcjdjxjx

San:

“Wow, Y/N, I expected better from you!!”

ngl you’re scared to death when you hear him yelling that from the other room, but once you find him holding up all your Wooyoung merch the tension leaves your body at once

obviously the first thing that comes to mind is asking him whether he’s jealous that you used to bias his best friend aksdjflkas

“I mean- You never even told me about this!!”

you try to calm him down by telling him it was just a phase, San is now your nr 1, etcetc, but he just won’t let it be

“No, I mean… how can you keep these when you’re dating me now…” his voice just gets smaller and smaller sakdfjlas

poor bby is actually upset about this, so you resort to the only thing you can imagine would work to calm him down

you take the merch away from him and give him a big hug, letting him rest his head against your shoulder

he pouts at you and makes you kiss him as reassurance, because he is obviously jealous, but also he would never admit that out loud laskdjfka

tries to act like nothing happened after getting all the cuddles he needs to feel better about it lol

Mingi:

it’s when you’re cleaning your apartment together that you stumble upon all of your Yunho merch and you immediately feel guilty about keeping it a secret from him

you figured he might be hurt over it, and though you were looking for a good time to tell him about it, that moment just never came

“Ah, right… I used to be Yunho biased actually…” you briefly explain and try to laugh it off

“Yeah, I knew about that.” - his unbothered reaction catches you off guard, so you ask if he’s not upset

“Why would I be upset? He’s my bias too!” 

?????????

ends up looking through your collection with you and you swear he has heart eyes a few too many times aksdfjökas

so all’s well that ends well, right? wrong.

because several days later he will wake you up in the middle of the night and confess that maybe he is a little jealous after all…

needs you to reassure him that you’re nothing more than Yunho’s fan, and Mingi is the one you love the most now!!

Wooyoung:

"What do you mean, you liked Hongjoong??"

you can tell it never even crossed this guy's mind that you could've ever biased someone other than him lol

when it eventually finished sinking in and he stops perplexedly staring at you he just??? pats you on the back??

"Aaaaa, you did well choosing me over him!"

pats your head now??

"I'm actually much better than that guy, you know!!"

gives you a full on speech about how awesome he is and explains to you in detail how basically you'd be doomed if you dated Hongjoong lol

"I mean, he's a great guy! Don't get me wrong! But taking care of you? I mean, come on. You know you can always rely on me, but him??"

expects you to praise him and tell him he's right at the end of it

WILL complain if you don't do that, and the only way to console him is you stroking his ego a bit and lots of kisses :')

Jongho:

when one day you casually mention to him that you used to bias San, you can literally see his brain trying to process that fact

starts sulking???

acts like he's super upset and lowkey complains while just pouting about it

you know he's acting but what you don't know is whether he's just acting or if he's also a little upset (he's VERY upset)

he's also so so embarrassed that he's this upset about something so stupid, so obviously he has to do his utmost to confuse you so you wouldn’t notice his inner turmoil djbdbd

he'll eventually get over it, but the initial shock runs deep lol

will definitely tease you about it at some point or use it as a way to win an argument jdbdhhd

"Oh, would you have been upset about that if it was San too?"

and well, now you're angry, so he's quick to make it clear that he was just joking and will definitely make it up to you with a kiss

[kahvibubu]

Ateez + text posts

[mingkist]

random texts with bf ateez!

p. taglist: @italiekim @realjonko @aestheticsluut @rielleluvs @youngestdelacour @alanniys @dogsongy @mingiholic @sankatchu @stopeatread @miriamxsworld @ka-ni-ma @sstarrysshit