#At this point Rhyme is basically like a Pokémon

[melonthesprigatito]

Minor Rhyme headcanon, but in high school Rhyme developed a technique where she can use her frost breath to spit tiny icicle darts out of her mouth from long distances.

She used this to pop the tires of the beloved expensive cars belonging to her and Reason's high school bullies. Nobody ever realised it was her because the evidence literally melted away.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO HACK HIS GAME so true i can imagine him trying to beg Nagi/hiori that’d be so funny…BUT LITERALLY SAME!!! I almost forgot the pokemon ref i was gonna make before was Karasu and garchomp…we were talking about his hair and i was kinda thinking like…the front of his hair…looks like a garchomp head….yk with the pointy triangle kinda shape…he would def have a garchomp….a pokemon au sounds so fun i definitely tried to assign some people teams at some point for the heck of it LOL

REAL anri carrying all of bllk along with like chigiris sister and Bachira’s mom maybe but we barely see them!!

No literally…because of the three i think Karasu has def been the most proactive too? I feel like Karasu and otoya are probably on the same level ish, having been starters since their first match but kaneshiro def emphasizes or adds little panels of Karasu actively involved with the game (maybe just because we never see barcha ugh) so im like….are you reading red key LOL

HIMBO REP AHAHA FR!! But seriously zantetsu please survive..I can’t imagine that after all we’ve seen of him in epinagi and the main series that he’ll get kicked out??? But still I look at the theories and I’m like oh um. Haha! Er. Please don’t. I’m hoping they just demote and kick out some of the u20 players that haven’t done much like fukaku (…? Idr their names) Hoping zantetsu gets his cover next in the event of the bllk cover theory shsgsjwhs

If I were in besties shoes I’d totally get it bc wdym you have the perfect kdrama romance literally just written in the stars for you….like MY TURN??? The crane game scene was a knee slapper the way Otoyas just like “move I’ll do it loser” HAHAHAHA oh I love that dynamic between them

THE ADOPTING OF CHIGIRI WAS SO CUTE TOO I was like omg YES when I read the little interactions and their little moment post ping pong game…also speaking of I had no idea that’s what that was?? Ok I got the ping pong but rhyming?? I’ve somehow never heard of that before nor have I ever tried it with my friends so I was so lost when I first read the manga and Nagi goes orange and I’m like…maybe he’s just a goofy dude who wanted to say orange because it sounds funky so uh. The more you know!

Omg y/n adopting the younger boys with trauma…it’s even funnier to imagine since Rin likes looking out at the sea like imagine y/n is like I’m gonna take a walk by the water! and Karasu begrudgingly is like ok bro…and then bam it’s Rin, idk exactly how it’d go but I just think their affinity of the sea/water would be something they could (mildly) bond over!

IM CRYING THAT REDDIT MEME I remember first seeing that and laughing I felt kinda bad but I can’t with the energy!!

I’m so glad you enjoyed writing it too!! Hopefully it brought you as much joy as it did me HAHA I’m gonna eat up your Hiori works too trust….I’ll be in here giving live commentary too!!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO IM CRYING THAT TEXT SCREENSHOT IS SO THEM!!! I can imagine Karasu trying to square up with fish through the glass like he sees one giving him the side eye and is like “you wanna go bro??”

But also the game interactions….are so funny…..I’m not sure if these are fully considered spoilers (just for game content) so I’ll shut up first but if you’re interested in knowing some of the dialogue I’ll slap down all of the ones I’ve seen floating around so far….finally got some tabieita content and Hiori interactions too….yuki soon I trust..

-Karasu anon

maybe i’ll make a post assigning pokémon teams to the characters even if i don’t write the au as an entire fic ��� i feel like pokémon has sm potential to be ANYTHING like angst fluff slice of life romance you really can include it all depending on how you take it and how you interpret the verse. karasu is basically an irl garchomp HAHA it fits too well

nah because justice for anri she should be at the club not doing ego’s dirty laundry /j…fr though i’m glad the author decided not to include more female characters just because based off of some of those anri panels they would NOT be done well and i would rather have no female rep than have it poorly done. i do like all of the mothers/chigiri’s sister!! the mothers especially actually look and feel like parents of teenage boys instead of teenagers themselves which definitely isn’t always the case

karasu has been up to smth for the entire match HAHA and he was even in hiori’s flashback so i think it’s safe to say he’s not going anywhere…i agree and i’m hoping they get rid of the u20 players (except aiku and sendou, p sure they’re staying) so more characters we care about get to stay in the manga!! i’m hoping giving how much emphasis there was on zantetsu in s1 and epinagi he sticks around but it kinda feels like everything he does, chigiri and otoya can do better, so who knows.

NO BECAUSE POOR BESTIE HAS KNOWN FOR SIX YEARS THAT KARASU LIKES Y/N 😭 she watched their banter turn into a relationship, and she sees how well karasu treats y/n once they’re together (he literally buys her flowers like every week 😖)…then she gets to the u-20 match and is HYPE because CEO’s son reo mikage?? standoffish prodigy nagi?? popular sweetheart isagi?? talented loner barou?? time for her to have her OWN kdrama moment. and then every single one of her dreams is destroyed because she’s shipped with otoya who is quite literally her biggest opp because he kept making out w a girl RIGHT in front of her face while she was trying to watch a movie.

i think the best thing about the crane scene is that otoya straight up says he only wins plushies to impress girls but he’s so obviously done w bestie and not at all trying to impress her and she’s also so unimpressed that it averts the cliche romance vibe completely. honestly they don’t give kdrama (bestie will forever be disappointed in that sense) but they have HUGE 2000s romcom vibes to me HAHA

LMAOO the website i read the manga on translated it as rhyming ping pong so i just went w that?? i made up the rules though but it made sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ karasu’s face in the panel when nagi says orange is so FUNNY bro was flabbergasted 😭 I LOVED Y/N ADOPTING CHIGIRI HAHAHA like they were giving very strong cousin vibes to me…honestly respect to karasu because half of the bllk guys want to bag his gf and the other half are like her children but he is somehow keeping it together regardless ����

y/n saw rin crash out during the u-20 match and was like oh…this is Not Normal…and as soon as she saw rin on the beach she immediately got to work trying to figure out wtf happened 😭 nah because i’ve always wondered why NOBODY showed any concern for rin after the match like he was clearly going through smth?? but if it leads to a goal ig it’s all good 😓

HAHAHA omg karasu starts crying in the aquarium because he thinks the starfish looked at him weird and y/n is like babe…starfish don’t have eyes…he tries to go band for band w a penguin and gets kicked out of the exhibit 😭 truly a menace. the text conversation was SO them though i screenshotted immediately because i got such strong fwtkac vibes from it

YAYY i can’t wait for your commentary on those too!! i need to like decompress from the silliness of fwtkac so i can do the requests properly (was asked to include some angst 😈) because i need to not be in that crack fic headspace for them. but also idk if you’ve seen my otoya shitposting as of late but lowkey don’t be surprised if i drop a lil smth for him at some point 🤫 what can i say writing abt him and bestie converted me into the otoya cult officially 😰 no promises though because unfortunately i have so many ideas but so little time

feel free to drop your fav game lines!! i’ve seen some that are rlly funny HAHA doesn’t nagi call people the opps at some point?? or maybe rin i can’t recall rn 😫 i just know that the ones i’ve seen have been super silly but in a good way

[theangrypokemaniac]

I've been on Tumblr ten months now, and this blog has existed for nine of them. During that time I have noticed something.

The majority of the posts I've come across have been by and for the S&M scene, as is to be expected.

The second-most frequent are Indigo League, which I don't think is bad going considering it was broadcast before most Tumblerries were born.

Third-most popular I would say is Sinnoh, probably for being the introduction for many here.

After that I've seen bits on Johto, a smattering of Orange League (unsurprising given it's briefness) and maybe a single item on Hoenn.

No one likes that then? Is it Max? Go on, it is.

What I find odd is that, in all that period, I haven't seen anything on Unova or Kalos. No fan art, no screen shots, nothing.

I'm sure someone can point to a bounty of pieces I've overlooked, all done within the last year, but if so, they're well-hidden, as none of the people I follow have shown any interest in re-blogging them.

If you have done any, you must admit the amount has depleted considerably.

Why is this? Is it of no interest anymore?

This in itself validates my own opinion. Had I been here when Unova and Kalos were broadcast, I presume over half of the posts I'd see would've been devoted to them. If I then spoke harshly of either, that would not have been well-received.

However, if dropped, both by the audience and writers as soon as the latest generation arrives, wasn't I right to not be impressed?

If cast aside by those who claimed to worship them, were they really of any worth at all?

Well the same fate has now befallen Alola. I make no secret of how much I despise it, and can not grasp its appeal for anyone.

I don't know how Pokémon even has a fanbase anymore, given that it's ugly, boring and repetitive.

Prior to the arrival of the S.S., I suspected that Alola material would drop, vanishing altogether once a year's worth came to a close, and so it has proved to be.

It's gone from making up roughly 60% - 70% of dashboard posts to about 10% - 20%, in only a few months. Is it that bad then?

It can't be explained as excitement for the new, not with the amount of coverage Kanto gets, and even that isn't motivated by reminiscence, given the average age of the current viewer.

Why are you still posting about something that old? It reminds me of my wasted youth, but what's your excuse?

Why, when the writers want to wallow in nostalgia, do they hark back to Kanto, which no modern fan can remember?

Is no one looking with misty-eyed fondness at Iris and Cilan? Why not?

Or is that an admission that it was so appallingly bad even the writers recognised it, that's why it's been so hastily forgotten?

You could watch Pokémon from the beginning to the close Sinnoh, skip the next two eras, starting again with Alola, and you would never know there'd been a between.

Unova is described as a 'soft reset', with regards to its inverted nature. The arrogance of those writers is staggering:

• Trying to erase all that'd gone before, supplanted by their half-arsed efforts.

• Redesigning everyone with Fish Eye and flat profiles.

• Resetting Ash as not even knowing the basics.

• Warping Team Rocket's established personalities into disgusting, soulless lizard people robbed of all charm and charisma.

• Only new Pokémon existing.

• Catches kept with Juniper not Professor Oak etc.

The irony is that Unova Pokémon are copies of the first 151, so whilst deliberately ignoring the past, they can't resist imitating it, thanks to their own woeful inadequacy. I suppose they hoped if they didn't notice, we wouldn't either.

They then undermined their own decision by stuffing everything available into the third run, as a blatant effort to win back the crowd, including:

• Reverting to Team Rocket's actual motto, not that embarrassingly pretentious codswallop.

Too bloody lazy to make it rhyme now!

Notice they opted not for the Sinnoh one, although more recent. It was straight back to the beginning.

• Look at these hundreds of Pokémon we suddenly remembered!

Just before Giovanni's mid-life crisis, Ash spotted a Rattata, but it having been so isolated from the outside world, his brain fell to mush at the concept, and pronounced it 'retarda'.

Idiots are so easy to please!

• Charizard! Genwunners love Charizard! Give 'em Charizard and they'll forget everything else we've done! Let's condense his entire story arc into one episode of meaningless retelling!

So, Charizard was there to bait the first wave, and yet we had the plot we know repeated to us anyway?

Don't refer to the past and everyone will think it's brand-new!

It makes no sense. How could this be done with the hope of drawing in old fans, and yet filling up an episode with it as plotline isn't an issue, when the intended targets know it's been done before?

• Butterfree! Genwunners loved Butterfree leaving! Let's condense his entire story arc into one episode of meaningless rehash!

Why would they remain when finding the same thing again, absent of feeling and subtlety, not to mention upon discovering the damage done elsewhere?

Recent incomers, who might assume it's a fresh idea, have no emotional connection with Butterfree, so who is it meant to please?

Why is Mewtwo a woman?

• Mewtwo! Genwunners love Mewtwo! Let's copy its background for Genesect rather than be creative! Look, it's Mewtwo! Watch it!!!

Erm... It's not the same Mewtwo...

It's not the same Mewtwo?

You believe the way to an original fan's heart is to lie to them, and in the process smash a fundamental principle of canon that there can only be one Mewtwo?

The writers get a deserved excoriation round these parts, because someone has to, as what part of that film suggested the current crop give the tiniest toss about what matters to you and me?

I'm glad Unova is labelled 'the Dork Age' as every series since its dawn has been atrocious.

Hoenn and Sinnoh held massive flaws, but they're masterpieces compared to what followed. At least they felt like Pokémon, albeit a watery interpretation.

Unova has to be truly lowly for the dunces responsible to recognise it, and neither Kalos or Alola have been as cut off from their predecessors.

I don't believe that's a sign of contrition, more a matter of necessity. Thanks to the same personal limitations there just weren't enough new Pokémon in either era to make such insularity possible. Even between the two it'd be a scrape.

Except whilst previously invented Pokémon designs may be involved, there's no sign of actual familiar characters.

Ash took his original team to Johto, and even in Hoenn and Sinnoh, where local catches took precedent, older Pokémon were still referenced and came back for the League, but that stopped with Unova.

It's evil influence strikes again!

Despite flimsy nods to the past, which can't be avoided, each generation is now a world unto itself, to the point that individual episodes live by their own canon, a feeble web of strands unrelated to anything else.

Why is it considered 'retro' enough to say, have Forms of Kanto Pokémon, for which we're expected to be so grateful, when there's no mention of Ash's earlier squad?

Remember Tauros? And Kingler? And Muk?

Remember Bayleef? And Noctowl? And Heracross?

Remember Corphish? And Torkoal? And Swellow?

Remember Buizel? And Gible? And Torterra?

They don't. As far as I can tell none of them exist anymore, and maybe aren't meant to ever have done.

Same as Gary, Cassidy and Butch, Jessibelle, Tracey, and so on. Until they do, and don't again. Whatever is convenient to today's storyline.

My typical attitude is that the first series is the best thing ever, and it's all been downhill from there, with Unova and all that came after reaching incredible depths of tedium. I don't suppose you like that, but the ephemeral tendencies displayed on Tumblr hardly help change my opinion.

At some low ebb I'll get round to watching Galar, which I'm confident I'll hate as much as the last few generations, based on what I've already seen and heard.

There's little point doing otherwise. Why bother getting involved with the 'plot' or characters if, when it's over, they'll never be spoken of again?

What incentive is there for me to even force myself to like Galar when, once the ninth generation (Pokémon Keenan and Kel) emerges on the distant horizon, those who've sung its praises for three or four years and scoffed at criticism, will drop it without a backwards glance?

Yet talk about the Indigo League is ever present, somewhat proving its superiority. Attachment to it is a subconscious acknowledgement of the dearth of quality in the modern mentality, but which no one can bring themselves to admit.

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1998

This is a weird, weird list. I don’t know.

Also, I turned ten in 1998! Woohoo! That means I’ve made one third of these lists! It also means we’ve almost reached the point when I had a cd player and a better access to music. Not yet, though.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

And now, friends and enemies, a truckload of honorable mentions. Get used to this because it’s not gonna end soon.

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith) - Liked this more back in the day.

Everybody (Backstreet Boys) - Really like that music video. The song? It’s all right I guess.

Cruel Summer (Ace of Base) - Not as good as the original.

Turn it up/Fire it up (remix) (Busta Rhymes) - That sample is an excellent idea.

Panique Celtique (Manau) - Celtic rap. More on that later, I swear.

Save Tonight (Eagle-Eye Cherry) - This was a difficult cut.

We Like to Party (Vengaboys) - This was also a difficult cut because I love Vengaboys. Not my favorite song from them though.

10 - Music Sounds Better With You (Stardust)

US: Not on the list / FR: #35

Objectively, this is a great, catchy song, but I can’t place it higher in good conscience because overplay very nearly ruined it for me over the years.

9 - The Mummer’s Dance (Loreena McKennitt)

US: #83 / FR: Not on the list

I’d like to solemnly thank ToddInTheShadows, who made me realise Loreena McKennitt had a US year-end top 100 hit once, because otherwise I would only know about her thanks to a random cd I bought years ago. I love her work, and this is a great remix, so yeah. Very good, very strange that it was a hit ; check it out.

8 - Ton Invitation (Louise Attaque)

US: Not on the list / FR: #31

I used to absolutely hate this song and it took it more than 15 years to grow on me. I have nothing else to say about it. I can admit it’s very good now and I’m sorry it took me so long.

7 - Tubthumping (Chumbawamba)

US: #35 / FR: #Not on the list

This is a ton of fun and very energetic, and I don’t have anything to say about this one either. Except it could have made the previous list but in the end I put it on this one instead.

6 - Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)

US: Not on the list / FR: #21

Here’s the obligatory song-that-everyone-loves-including-me that won’t surprise anybody, but which I still really want to put on this list.

5 - Yakalelo (Nomads)

US: Not on the list / FR: #10

So, a couple of years after that one (around 2000/2001), I started to burn cd compilations on my parents’ pc, and this was the first one I decided to illustrate. As you can see I loved Pokemon, haha. Especially a specific manga called Pocket Monsters Special which was starting to get published here under the title Pokémon La Grande Aventure, and I would spend hours trying to painstakingly copy the characters.

Yes, this was drawn by hand. Wtf @ young me

All these songs right at the beginning are from 1998, and all of them together are gonna make most of the top of this list.

I’m saying all of this right now because I’ve got nothing to say about Yakalelo, which is simply a fun and super catchy summer song.

Moving on to another song which is also on that very old compilation I made as a kid more than 18 years ago and which, clearly, is still relevant to this day.

4 - Mysterious Times (Sash!)

US: Not on the list / FR: #79

A perfectly serviceable and adequate dance track which wouldn’t deserve much attention if it didn’t look so great in my ears. It has some rich cyan blues and vivid fuchsias and weird spiral-like patterns and ugh. Why does it look so great. It’s like seeing a random Ikea painting but with fantastic colors and you know it’s mass-produced and it isn’t worth getting excited about but you can’t stop looking at it. Sometimes I hate my brain.

3 - This Is How We Party (SOAP)

US: Not on the list / FR: #23

And yep, sure enough, that was the first track on that compilation I was talking about earlier. If I was still nine or ten this would be number one easily. It’s also quite possibly the last song which I thought sounded menacing and cool because I couldn’t understand the lyrics apart from the word “party”. I started to learn English the next year and oh boy, the number of songs in English which instantly became less cool even if I could only understand one word out of five... you don’t even know.

Still a great song, and the music video is half cringy half hilarious. I somehow never saw it at the time. Too bad.

2 - Frozen (Madonna)

US: #32 / FR: #12

That is quite possibly my favorite Madonna song right there, and it’s a very uncharacteristic song for her, so I don’t know what to think about that. I put it on several compilations and tapes around 2004, and I loved that hypnotic music video. A weird song in a weird year.

And that year, of course, has a weird, weird #1 for me.

Prepare yourselves.

1 - La Tribu de Dana (Manau)

US: Not on the list / FR: #3

This was a monstruous, incredibly huge hit song in my country.

If you live in any place where this song is virtually unknown and you clicked that link, boy do I wish I could see your face right now.

If you didn’t click, basically it’s a French rap song, sampling a traditional celtic melody played on a biniou (bagpipe), in which the singer is rapping about being a celtic warrior thrown into the horrors of war and being the only survivor of a battle, and then trying to rebuild his village and his life.

I swear I’m not making this up. I also swear this was an enormous hit to the point of being a game-changer here. If you’ve never heard it, I beg you to listen to it and give me your opinion afterwards. Here’s a translation of the lyrics.

I love it and no joke, I can sing it entirely from memory, and one time a guy on Discord asked me to sing it out of the blue on vocal to check if I was bullshitting or not and let’s just say he regretted that decision immediately.

Next up: possibly the most humiliating #1

[spamzineglasgow]

(REVIEW) Addons, by Dom Hale

‘Because it is a poem about and in contemporaneity, any achievement it makes is provisional, any ending quickly obsolete.’ In this review, Alex Grafen spends time with the effervescent, improvisational and ‘distressed’ lyrics of Dom Hale’s Addons, out now from brand new imprint Gong Farm. 

> Addons is the first publication by Gong Farm, an imprint set up by Tom Crompton and Alex Marsh. Gong Farm grows out of Out Else, which, until recently, held bi-monthly readings at SET in Dalston. Hale read at the first Out Else on 25 April 2019 in a programme that also included Amy Evans Bauer, Luke Roberts, Camilla Isola and Laura Calcagno. Available to buy were copies of summat, short improvised pamphlets with samples of work by the performers of that evening. Addons still wears improvisation on its sleeve: colourful printed letters worm across the front cover, wilfully wonky, inked up to varying degrees. Imperfect repetition down the page serves as a small-scale iteration of the print-run. It also serves as a good précis of the contents.

> The question prompted by the title – Addons to what? – can be answered simply, if a little reductively: Scammer. Scammer, Hale’s long poem, was composed between August 2018 and late 2019, and is, as of writing, forthcoming from the 87 Press. The poems of Addons then are in the unusual situation of a patch release before the game or, to remain within the field suggested by the title, the printer before the computer, the extra cover before the basic insurance policy. The facility of the answer is complicated not only by chronology. It is also complicated by the nature of Scammer, a poem which repeatedly tests the limits of its own coherence. It does so in part by amassing disparate material and discourses. The poem’s final section, ‘The Noughties’, rapidly accumulates references to Pokémon, fluff journalism, Margaret Thatcher and Quentin Blake. The implied hub of these discourses is the poet himself as part exposed nervous receptor, part digestor and regurgitator of environments primarily cultural and political, occasionally technological. A subject-voice emerges with some consistency though with varying degrees of groundedness throughout. Coherence is also challenged by the poem’s evasion of the sort of overarching structure that might serve to marshal its contents. The closest it comes is in the titles of its sections, Bits V, W, X, Y and Z, but these point more to a back-configuration from an endpoint: 'Here I go in alphabetical order / apropos of nothing’. Addons adds on to something completed, but something whose completion was only ever a formality. Because it is a poem about and in contemporaneity, any achievement it makes is provisional, any ending quickly obsolete.

> None of the poems of Addons would have been out of place in Scammer, though some of them see the latter’s concerns and methods pushed in new directions. None of them are as long as the more extended stretches of Scammer, so we have more of a sense of poems in dialogue with a lyric tradition, and more of a sense of poems fizzing briefly into life before collapsing on themselves. Emergent across the poems are distressed lyric personae that offer brief moments of situated life; flashes of exultant anger coruscating out of a background glare; and an earwormish recycling and reworking of the sound and shape of line and phrase. The third of these is perhaps most pronounced in ‘Unjust July', which begins: ‘You up. You up. You up.' It could be a set of pestering questions, a wake-up call announcing the poem’s beginning, but its repetition pushes it towards sheer phonetic surface, like a transcribed birdsong.

> Silliness works in them as an anaesthetic, dislocating a response to a contemporaneity characterised by violent, exploitative capital. Rather than keeping the earnestness nimble by the careful balance of ironies, Hale compresses extremes into frantic proximity:

@ precisely 19:00 hours a focus group of genetically engineered lice alleviate the housing crisis.

These lines from ‘Minimal Fuss’ highlight the cliché of a ‘housing crisis’ that includes both people struggling with mortgages on second homes and people living on the street. The lice communicate a reality of verminous dwelling, while at the same time tapping into the richly overdetermined ‘vermin' and ‘parasite'. But to stress this is to lose sight of the whimsy and the determining power of sound: the lice are engineered at a precise time to answer the crisis because of rhyme as much as anything else. ‘Focus group' and 'genetically engineered’ might have been automatically generated by a search for roughly contemporary buzzwords, though Google Ngram suggests that while the star of 'focus group’ continues to rise, 'genetically engineered' peaked some time around 2001. If the contingencies of sound and contemporary cliché are formal constraints operative in the poems, constraints countered by a zealous recombination that makes them productive.

> The arrival of the poem is presented as something won from a world and time understood to be anti-poetic. Again in ‘Unjust July', we are told ‘My teeth got chipped. Something / chipped my teeth'. There is a rearrangement of words but also of agency. The chipped tooth is the punishment for speech, for taking too big a bite. But the rearrangement is a movement towards recognition of the punishers and a discovery of poetic ferment and fertility in that identification: ‘despite the economic privation etc, the human imagination starts working, being a kind of uncontrolled horse itself, and its words animate the wood’ (LZ). The poems may collapse on themselves, but, more Whackamole than Chumbawumba, they pop back up again, not only adding to the moment but rebutting it, minor incursions that can turn cliché to birdsong.

Addons is published by Gong Farm and available now to order here.

~

Text: Alex Grafen

Image: Gong Farm

Published: 1/5/20

[nocherryblood]

okay but what if, one time when he's on his own, ash keeps getting targeted by this much older, much stronger kid who keeps trying to battle him just to win and make ash feel like crap- and basically just otherwise messing with him to be a d1ck at this point- and at the point where team rocket would usually burst in and do their usual song and dance, they just... stop. Like. Just stop, and stare at this older kid.

"Are you... are you trying to outbother our twerp?"

And the older kid just freezes, because what the fuck is going on here, but he doesn't get to think about it any further because-

Oh shit oh shit oh shit

The kid has TWO GROWN ADULTS LUNGING AT HIM-- HANG ON WHERE DID THAT GIRL GET A BASEBALL BAT FROM!? DID THAT MEOWTH JUST TALK!?!? -- ABORT ABORT ABORT-

Before the kid can get his limbs sawed off by a redhead with 12,000 years of anger issues and her partner-in-rhyme, he gets the hell outta there and makes a mental note never to talk that little squirt and his pikachu again.

Once that's dealt with, the pair simply dust off their hands and ask Ash if he's okay, ignoring the way the poor kid is nearly on the verge of popping a brain cell, and when he eventually restarts his brain enough to ask why they aren't trying to steal his pokémon, they just shrug and go: "eh. not feeling it anymore. one guy tryna hassle you is enough for one day, right?"

He still looks kinda roughed up though, so they take him back to their current hideout (they move bases/camps quite frequently, so they don't have to worry about him knowing where it is) and make him eat some food and drink something. They don't have much, but there'll be enough if everyone shares, right? At least they're not eating snow...

They set him up a little makeshift bed and look after him for a bit, making sure to be on the lookout for any shady-looking people. It's weird having people who usually try to steal his pokémon now actually looking after him, even if it's only temporary, but... y'know what? He actually... feels kinda safe :/

They don't mind either, and they even enjoy his company. He may have the Pikachu they want in his hands, and he may be annoyingly good at winning battles and outsmarting them without even realising, but, y'know... he's actually quite a sweet little kid- if you ignore the ungodly amount of dumb luck.

I mean... after all, he's their twerp, right?

they're family at this point

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Joker’s Favor

“She can't open the door and push it in all by herself! THINK!”

Batman the Animated Series. Teaching the dangers of road rage since 1992!

Episode: 22 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 11, 1992 Grade: B

Char’s main reaction to seeing this episode for the first time was, “My girl!!” She loves Harley (and Poison Ivy). For me too, it’s nice to finally introduce Harley Quinn to the DC Animated Universe. Of course, back when this episode initially aired, it was also her introduction to the world of comic books in general. Written to be a one-off henchwoman to the Joker, wow, who would have seen the massive Harley Quinn storm coming. I was working at Party City when Suicide Squad came out, and by far the most popular costume we sold to young girls and women alike was Harley Quinn. People who know nothing about Batman are at least a little familiar with her. Sometimes even more familiar with her than the Dark Knight himself. And good lord, have fun trying to buy a copy of Batman Adventures #12 for a decent price. Even reprints can cost you around 100 bucks. You know how annoying that is for someone who just wants to own a physical copy of the damn thing to read?

I can only assume that Suicide Squad was the major catapult for the hype surrounding the character. I don’t remember seeing her around nearly as much before. Although I’m sure the Arkham series helped a little bit too. And I won’t lie to you, I’m a little salty about it. Oh, believe me, it’s definitely petty “nerd rage”. Or maybe you could call it the “hipster effect”. What annoys us about liking something for so long, and then, much later, finding out that it suddenly blows up with admiration? It’s stupid, this should make us happy, right? But yes, to let the cat out of the bag, I really do love Harley Quinn’s character. At least, the DCAU version of her. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, I’ve never read any of her comics outside of the DCAU tie-ins, and I’ve never seen any episodes of other Batman cartoons with her in it. Doesn’t particularly interest me (not that I’m directly opposed). But I know that in the DCAU she’s really interesting, she’s a lot of fun, and some of the best moments of the entire series involve her heavily. The Laughing Fish, from what I remember, is up there among my favorite episodes. And how about the flashback in ROTJ? That’s one of the best Batman stories ever told, period. She’s not my favorite villain by any means, but the show would definitely be missing something without her. Speaking of her roles in the DCAU, maybe that’s where that “hipster effect” comes from. Maybe we get salty when people are oblivious toward a character’s…or a band’s…or a show’s…or whatever’s…early days. Yeah, that’s gotta be it, right? When Pokémon Go was new, I saw people complaining because these kids hadn’t played the original Red and Blue versions. And no one would ever really get annoyed if an old album by Blink-182 suddenly spiked in sales. No, it’s only when someone discovers new stuff and isn’t familiar with anything before that. I’m not saying this behavior is rational, and I hate it whenever I feel this way (for the record, I defended those kids just getting into Pokémon through Pokémon Go who were being shit on by “gen-wunners”). But it’s a possible explanation. Maybe we feel that people are missing out or not putting in the effort to fully appreciate/respect a thing and why it is the way it is.

Even though Harley Quinn was an amazing addition to the series, she didn’t exactly start out that way. Ignoring her popularity, she doesn’t particularly stand out in this episode, at least, not to me. But she must have back then. Fans liked her so much, she started appearing in the Batman Adventures comics! But I won’t start complaining about Batman Adventures #12 again. At least, not yet… Of course, where this is the first Harley episode, it figures as such that Paul Dini is the writer. This episode shows us again that he knows how to write a great story to be taken seriously, but also knows how to inject a lot of fun into it. That seems to be what separates Dini from some of the other best writers. A lot of the most serious episodes are really damn serious, with virtually no fun to be had. But Dini throws in some cheeky bits. Harley, for example. Or Batman coming down with a cold in Heart of Ice. It’s certainly welcome, but honestly, I prefer episodes like Two-Face a little bit more. And that’s why I’ve settled on a B for this episode. Yeah, I know. Everyone raises this episode up on a pedestal and says how much of a classic it is. I won’t argue with y’all. It’s an important episode, and it is entertaining. But it’s not as entertaining as a lot of other episodes to me. I like it. I don’t love it. Sue me. Char actually felt the same way, so I’m not alone there. She loved the Joker, as usual, and loved seeing “her gurl” Harley, but as far as the actual episode goes, she only liked it. Strangely enough, I have virtually no complaints. For the most part it’s pretty flawless, unless I really want to nitpick at stupid shit (like when Joker points out Charlie’s hair-loss when he has the same amount of hair as earlier). Probably the only thing that actually made me scratch my head was during the scene where Charlie threatens Joker with one of his own bombs. Why did Charlie know it wouldn’t explode, but the Joker himself didn’t? The only thing I can really think of is that Batman was in on the joke, and rewired the thing. But that doesn’t sit too well with me either. Oh, and also the scenes involving the fight amongst the recreated temple was a little hokey, and didn’t match a lot of the flow. It was too random-seeming, plus the idea that all of these death traps would remain active is ludicrous. We do get the Joker at some of his best, though, and we even hear Batman laugh in-costume (a first for this series). If there’s one thing Batman shouldn’t do often, it’s use the bat-laugh. And the writers knew when to use it well. Just wait till Mad Love. As long as they don’t have Batman sing… I will now turn my head toward my Justice League Unlimited set and stare at it with a dead smile for a few seconds.

And what about the crime prince of clown himself? I think we get the most insight into his mind out of all the Joker episodes so far in this one. The first two Joker appearances were just sorta goofy romps that you would expect, and the next one (Be a Clown) was an episode of lesser entertainment value. Here, we take the best elements of the Be a Clown Joker and fuse it with the Joker we got more from the other episodes to create what I would consider to be the definitive DCAU Joker. Let’s go over it. Y’know those maniacs who chase you down the street just because you made the tiniest mistake while driving (sometimes it might even be more their fault than yours)? Well imagine if when they caught up to you, you saw that they were a psychotic, killing clown. That’s fun… After this happens to Charlie Collins, the Joker threatens to kill him, but ends up sparing him so that over the next two years, he can have a fun time of basically tracking, stalking, and keeping up with this man. I like this because, on one hand, it seems so silly that he’d want to do this simply because of a traffic incident. Like, doesn’t he have better things to do with this time? But also, the Joker knows that every day, Charlie lives in fear that the Joker will find and contact him. It’s the manipulative aspect that we saw in Be a Clown coming out. The Joker takes pleasure in ruining lives. We also have the whacky side of the Joker seen in The Last Laugh with how ridiculous the concept is. Going back to the hair-loss comment mention earlier in passing, I actually think it would have been really clever to start him out with a full head of hair, but then show him super bald later on, showing that the stress of it all had really taken a toll on him, despite his seemingly great life.

Well, then, the Joker has Charlie fly over to Gotham just to open a door for Harley. Yeah. Open a door. I friggin’ love this twist. He’s like an Alice In Wonderland character, having seemingly no rhyme or reason for anything, but you know it all somehow makes sense in his twisted head. We know this because of what he manages to pull off, and how dangerous he is. If he truly knew nothing, he wouldn’t escape Arkham time and time again or get away with nearly as much as he does. And then finally at the end, we have some moments of scary Joker-rage paired with the Joker actually yelling to Batman for help. It’s such a sudden mood change, and you have to question whether or not the Joker’s anger was real. If it is, that makes it scarier. He’s like a meth-addict. We also see the Joker shove Harley Quinn to the side so that he can get to the phone, a very early look at the abusive relationship that we don’t see in full until later down the line. Like I said earlier, Harley was supposed to be a one-off, so this likely wasn’t Dini’s intent to display, but in hindsight, it’s got a much different light casted on it. It shows how much care was put into these stories, making everything match up, even if it wasn’t the initial plan.

This opening shot looked pretty stilted, reminding us that it’s essentially a cell being moved to the right.

Our main character, Charlie Collins. I wanna know what kind of fashion statement that haircut is. The “vertical rat tail”?

That moment of realization. Great job of capturing that immediate regret. It’s like he was brought back to reality, but sent into the Twilight Zone all at the same time.

The Joker knows how scary he is.

This shot was kinda funky with how bright some of the Joker’s features were. 

The Joker appears rather large when in comparison to the character who is supposed to be in front of him. This happens at least one other time in the episode. It adds to his threatening aura here, though.

“Oh please, don’t insult me.” the Joke retorts when Charlie assumes that he’s being robbed of money. 

Been missing these guys! Haven’t seen enough of them!

Jim: “If anyone should be getting a testimonial it’s you!” Batman: “I’m just the nightshift. You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That’s what those people want to honor.” The most endearing friendship on the show. He even then proceeds to ask Batman where he can rent a tux. 

The Joker playing darts backwards. Throwing them at the commissioner. 

Harley Quinn’s first appearance ever! Bruce Timm did an excellent job with her design. Also, another instance of Joker looking rather large. Apparently perspective isn’t Dong Yang’s strong suit.

And then the Joker proceeds to do a perfect backflip. Damn, he’s limber!

Me too, dude. Also the Joker was throwing darts right above this guy’s head.

Somehow a better license picture than any I’ve ever gotten. Also we have confirmation that, in the DCAU at least, Gotham City is in New York.

“Leave the sideburns.”

An unsettling shot as they circle around Don’s (Charlie’s) block, threatening his family.

“Any way I could sneak out with you?” Me too, dude. Lines like this add so much character that gimmicks or statements about them could never reach.

“Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.”

Bullock hitting on Harley. How does he look like even more of a sleaze when spiffed up for an event?

Montoya’s look of pleasure when Bullock gets whacked in the shin by Harley’s baton. Also, them cheekbones. 

“...okayyy, we’ll tough it out here.”

Joker’s sudden mood-swings combined with his delivery from Mark Hamill are obvious callbacks to the Blue Meanies in Yellow Submarine.

Charlie, about to shove a bomb up Joker’s ass. “Batman! Batmaaaaan!” Actually, y’know what this reminds me of?

This great moment.

Joker, relieved to see Batman. “<gasp> How long have you been there?” We also get, “You’re no fun anymore, Charlie.” If there’s one thing Joker can’t stand, it’s getting upstaged when it comes to the crazy.

A solid episode for sure, but for those of you who only know about Harley from her more recent shenanigans (and you don’t have a genuine interest in watching a Batman cartoon), check out The Laughing Fish instead. And for those of you following along with me for the long haul, join us next time! …Crikey!

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Vendetta Full episode list here!

[avernale]

Scarlet & Violet Gimmick Idea

So I think I'm one of the few people who watched the second Pokémon Scarlet & Violet trailer and didn't come to the conclusion that time travel is involved somehow. I mean, I saw the version-exclusive professors, one dressed like a cavewoman and the other like a Tron reject, and thought, "Wow, they're really leaning into the multiverse thing this time around." While I'm on that subject, let's not assume you get to change history in this game. Time travel in the Pokémon series has historically followed the Bootstrap Paradox (or, as I like to call it, "The Wild Stallion Rule," after the Bill & Ted movies that use it), so you can't go back time and mess with history because that already happened, you just haven't done it yet. ANYWAY! I think about how the Legendary Pokémon are designed and the trench run leading up to them, and I think "Pokémon on Motorcycles!" If you don't get it, look up "Card games on motorcycles" on YouTube, because I'm basically referencing Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, which featured Turbo Duels where players ride special motorcycles to play the titular card game on (Well, they call it "Duel Monsters," not Yu-Gi-Oh, but that's beside the point). I don't even need to come up with a placeholder name for the Pokémon version of this, because the Johto arc of the anime had Extreme Pokémon Training in one episode, which is basically chariot races using Pokémon. But I've come up with a name I like batter anyway. TURBOMAX A bit presumptuous of me to claim that they'd replace Dynamax/Gigantamax with another gimmick that rhymes, but I doubt I could possibly anticipate the gimmick's actual name even if I was right about the gimmick's nature. Turbomax uses that band we see on Nemona's wrist, making it the Turbomax Band (the whole glove would mess with player customizaton too much). A Turbo Battle is a one-on-one race between two Pokémon who can use their Moves against each other to try and gain an edge. You win by either reaching the finish line first or knocking out your opponent. Pokémon species all run at drastically different speeds, but the Turbomax Band levels the playing field in that regard. Instead of just throwing your Pokémon's PokéBall like normal, you use the Turbomax Band like a railgun to launch the PokéBall straight ahead. So you and your opponent starts the Turbo Battle side-by-side on the starting line, extend your throwing arms forward, pull a ripcord on the Turbomax Band, and let the PokéBall shoot forward at supersonic speed. This process also transforms the Pokémon into their Turbomax Form. This form is pretty much identical to their normal form, except they have a glowing aura that makes them move faster. Like Dynamax Form, Turbomax Form also changes the Pokémon's Moves into Turbo Moves with different effects. Like in Legends: Arceus, Turbo Moves can affect you or your opponent's speed. Flinching won't affect speed, and you can't be Frozen or put to Sleep. Frozen will instead cause you to lose speed, and Sleep is replaced with Drowsy from Legends: Arceus. Some Pokémon will change forms more drastically, taking on an Accelmax Form instead. If a Pokémon's normal or Turbomax form would be slower than their opponent's, their Accelmax Form starts at the same speed. Otherwise, they will be faster unless their opponent is also in Accelmax Form. And, of course, Accelmax Pokémon have signature Accel Moves. Turbomax/Accelmax Forms can also be initiated in regular battles, too. As with all Gimmick Forms, this can only be done once per battle. Additionally, there is some added risk. Turbomax/Accelmax forms are for racing down a track at high speed, not traditional Pokémon battles, and that speed is hard to control. Similar to Hi-Jump Kick, Turbo Moves and Accel Moves have a chance of damaging the user if they miss. They also have a greater chance of missing, and that chance only increases with every turn. It's a lot like being Confused, only worse. There's also the chance your Pokémon with simply blast off like Team Rocket and get lost, which counts as a knock-out. What do you think? Probably not, right? Perhaps a little too much like Dynamax. Maybe I'll develop this idea more and base my fan-region around it if there isn't something like it in Scarlet & Violet.

Posted using PostyBirb

[cinderellasfella]

Tagged by @s0mewhereweaknessis0urstrength, thanks very much!

Rules: Tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better.

Nickname: Con, Nugget.

Zodiac sign: Cancer.

Height: 5′8″

Gender: Male

Time right now: 22:56 p.m Irish Standard Time.

Last thing I googled: Hector Berlioz’s thoughts on Shakespeare.

Favourite music artist(s): A lot of classical, Broadway and movie soundtracks, but in terms of artists I’d say Florence and the Machine, and Paloma Faith.

Song stuck in my head: Cinderella’s Departure for the Ball from Prokofiev’s Cinderella ballet.

Last movie I watched: Hunger - fascinating, given that I didn’t know much about the events depicted, but pretty grim stuff all the same.

What are you wearing right now: black and purple t-shirt, blue hoodie, jeans, and grey shoes.

Last TV show I watched: Rewatched a few episodes of Scrubs recently. Man, I’ve missed that show :(

What do you post: Let’s see … Disney, fairy tales, Marvel, different tv shows, cats, various actors, stuff that makes me laugh, things I hope cheer my followers up a bit, to name but a few.

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Pokémon team: Couldn’t tell you if lives were at stake.

Why did you choose your URL: It’s a pretty sounding rhyme. And Cinderella is my favourite fairy tale. Also, it was the name of a book a loved when I was younger, ‘Cinderella’s Fella’ by Aislinn O’Loughlinn. It was basically exactly what it said on the tin, the story of Cinderella from the prince’s point of view, and I just thought it was hysterical as a child.

When you create this blog: October 2015

Do you get asks regularly: Rather rarely, actually.

Do you have any other blogs: not a single one.

Religious or Spiritual: I guess spiritual, between the two.

Favourite colour: Purple and blue

Average hours of sleep: Usually about 7.

Lucky number: Don’t have one.

Favourite character(s): Athos de la Fere, Maleficent, Prince Kit, Cinderella (in all her forms), Phoebe Buffay, Claire Temple, Elinor Dashwood, Belle, Miranda Hart.

Following: 173.

How many blankets do you sleep with: Two in colder weather, one in the summer.

Dream job: Librarian or writer.

Thanks again :). I’ll tag @minnothebunny, @karis-the-fangirl, @chasingthewindandthesky, @droo216, @bri-ecrit, @disneygeekwriter, and anyone else who wants to take part.

[stevencapobiancoworlds]

My first novel, City of Kaiju, is available for pre-order TODAY. Available through Amazon and Books2Read. You can see a preview of the very first chapter here.

Playing With Imagination is a series where I talk about video game stories and plots. Many video games have incredible stories and are often overlooked in our society. Today, I talk about the Live Action Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, coming soon from Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures.

What do you get when you take Deadpool, Pokémon, the uncanny valley and a movie based of a game, based off a spinoff from one of the biggest games ever? You get Detective Pikachu.

Rumors of a live-action Pokemon film have spread to Kanto and back, and during the era where video game movies were bad, fans had every reason to be concerned. Mediocre acting, miserable plots, and felt more like watching a game than seeing a typical movie. But things changed, hopefully, for the better when Warcraft hit theaters, and while critics didn’t think it was the second coming it should have been, fans LOVED it. It was the first genuinely good video game movie…possibly ever.

Fast forward to today, and we get Detective Pikachu, based on the Pokemon spin-off of the same name. The first exposure to something even resembling a live action Pokemon film was 2006’s Pokemon Apokelypse. It’s a fan film that garnered controversy for being an extremely dark take on Pokemon. Battle was similar to illegal animal fights, the dialog was mature and the story followed the anime rather than the games.

*Shudder* The rare time I’m thankful Hollywood didn’t go this route.

It cemented my belief that Pokemon should NEVER have a live-action adaptation, lest the corporate executives of Hollywood tear it down and claim yet another childhood victim in their never-ending crusade to ruin anything they get their grubby, sweaty paws on.

Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but the point is, I didn’t know if I even WANTED a live action version since the anime movies were more than enough. But Monday, we got ourselves our first real look at the upcoming live-action film and…

I’m not sure what to think. Before we delve further, let’s take a look at the story of Detective Pikachu.

Detective Pikachu?

The story focuses on Tim Goodman (Justice Smith), a hero who hoped to one day follow in the footsteps of his father, who mysteriously vanished. A chance encounter with a Pikachu (voiced by Ryan Reynolds, of all people), who only he can understand, gives Tim hope that he may find his father one day. However, the Pokemon of Rhyme City are acting strange, and it’s up to this unlikely duo to crack the case and solve numerous mysteries.

I figured I should get the elephant (or Donphan) in the room out of the way first. The Pokemon designs. This was perhaps my biggest fear when it came to a live action series. I’ve seen photoshop edits of what Pokemon looked like in real life. Some looked convincing (the Cubone one is the most popular and well known), while others look awful, and barely resemble their animated counterparts. This was a daunting task that no one could afford to screw up, lest this movie fall on its face.

Seeing them now, I feel that while some of them are convincing and look great, others go too deep into uncanny valley territory. Basically, they try too hard to make them real. In the trailer, they show Tim and Pikachu talking to a Mr. Mime, who, while he did look a bit suspicious in the games, looked super creepy in the film. Almost like some strange CGI project gone wrong. It’s not bad (hell, at least it LOOKS like a Mr. Mime), but some of them are perhaps trying too hard to be real. Seeing Pikachu for the first time, while he does have that mouse look to him, does feel like it’s coming across as too mouse-like.

So my verdict for that is…I appreciate their effort to make them true to the actual games, but they either come off as too cartoony, or just weird. I’m not sure how to place it, so I’ll consider it “acceptable” for now.

As far as the movie itself, it looks promising. The acting is okay, the plot looks fun (even if it does look a little mature for Pokemon, but nowhere near as bad as Apokelypse) and makes sense for a movie rather than cram an eight gym story into a two-hour film. I appreciate that it’s not the cliched (Pokemon come to the real world) and opted to make Pokemon a natural part of their society.

Also, I’m happy to notice that there are other Pokemon outside of the original 151. I did see a few Greninja in there, which are fairly recent, so it’s nice that the producers and writers understand that generation one isn’t the only Pokemon to exist in the world. The game featured Pokemon like Aipom, Poochyena, Chandelure, and so on. It’d be nice to see how they’re portrayed and I don’t expect all of them to be in this film since that’s one hell of a task.

My biggest concern is how this whole film will pan out. This film is directed by the same guy who did the recent Goosebumps films, which is that very same “characters from fiction in the real world” plot device that’s rarely executed well. At least from here, it’s attempting to break the mold a little. It’s how well it works and how the dialog turns out, cause trailers tend to fake the quality of the film. A film that looks impressive might be trash when you see it in theaters.

Either way, seeing a trailer does give me hope that maybe, just maybe, Pokemon will get through the “bad adaptation” curse unscathed. I’m not holding my breath, but I do feel it’s my duty as a Pokemon fan to see this film, even if it does end up being on the bad end. After all, I’m a Pokemon die-hard. If this succeeds and is a worthy adaptation, I wouldn’t mind seeing others.

So that’s my take on the upcoming Pokemon film. I might do a review on it when I can, but we’ll see.

That’s all for today. Take care, and remember, the inn is always open.

Today, we crack this unusual case and talk about my hopes (and fears) of the upcoming Pokemon #DetectivePikachu movie. My first novel, City of Kaiju, is available for pre-order TODAY. Available through Amazon and Books2Read. You can see a preview of the very first chapter…