#At least these kids have a stable parental source

[samble-moved]

reminder that homura is a middle schooler. she is 13 or 14 years old, depending on source. she is not old enough to drive or have a permit. she is not old enough to live on her own (it's implied her parents are out of the picture in some way — in the US she'd need to be in adoptive or foster care, or at least have a guardian or social worker, but this appears to be handwaved in the series and none are ever shown). she cannot vote. she is not old enough to get a job (earliest i've seen is 14 in the US, and that's usually in not great environments, in summer, and for low pay and short hours). she is only "independent" in the sense that it's forced upon her by lack of any adult support — nobody helps her fill out school transfer forms, she lives alone, she has no shown family or even mentions of relatives, nobody visits her in the hospital, etc.

i say this because a lot of "anti homura" arguments act as if this information doesn't exist, and that homura is "actually an adult" or at the same level as one due to looping. she canonically is not. her brain and physical body are not developing, she is only learning walpurgis tactics and memorizing test answers. her brain is not developing so she's not "mentally 26", like is often claimed by "homura is a predator" truthers. i'm not even going to touch on how weird and borderline creepy it is to say "she's a child but so mature for her age (from extreme, repeated, potentially pre-series trauma), so she must be an adult and can be treated like one".

there is a reason that children are typically tried differently in the US. unless "tried as an adult" for very serious crimes, it is widely accepted that children (and even young adults) are more impulsive, think less rationally, and are generally "less responsible" for their actions due to not having the experiences of a full grown adult. children are less mature, more prone to "overreaction" and panic, and are immature — because they are kids.

homura is a child. she also has extreme trauma, potentially from before the series even began (where are her parents? are they just neglectful? dead? why isn't there even a single adult helping her?) that is never helped or addressed. homura doesn't get help for any issues she has (obvious ptsd and depression, borderline delusions over the past being "just a dream" in wraith arc). she is not some spoiled, rich, mentally stable almost-adult who's never faced a consequence. she is a young and traumatized teenager, young enough to be a middle schooler, and has experienced:

neglectful, absent, missing, or dead family/parents

watching her friends die horrifically almost a hundred times

having zero adult support at all, no caseworker or help

bullying, half being because she's disabled

having her soul ripped from her body without consent and learning if she ever loses her soul gem (or god forbid accidentally drops it somewhere), her body will basically be "dead"

learning she and all her friends turn into eldritch horrors when they die, a process shown in rebellion to be something they are aware for (aka the horror that witches aren't "just" bodies being moved, they are actively and constantly suffering and aware to some degree the whole time)

learning that the witches they fight are girls around their age who fell into despair, and not purposeless monsters

learned of the prospect that witches can potentially "regrow" via familiars, thus if their consciousness transfers, this shows the possibility of literally eternal suffering as the witch is "reborn"

realization that, the more she tries to save madoka, the worse the situation gets

having a full on breakdown with delusions in wraith arc, thinking maybe madoka was all just a hallucination or a dream she had

finding out in rebellion it wasn't a dream, but then thinking she betrayed madoka by not stopping her from contracting

becoming a witch whose whole theme is based around suicide and wanting and waiting to die, but not being able to

being a witch whose familiars are malicious towards her and belittle her

trying to "fix" her believed betrayal of madoka by making a new world, ending up hated by sayaka and isolated from her friends

is still stuck as a witch while the last event happens!!! (her soul gem is never shown purified)

all of this while she is 13-14.

homura is not some cruel adult playing god because she is bored and likes the power trip and wants the world to burn. she is a deeply traumatized and mentally ill child who never got help. she is not a predator — and i honestly don't know if that is more of a "she's a predator because she's the most openly sapphic" or "she's a predator because she's traumatized and thus 'acts weird' due to trauma" belief nowadays in most anti-homura spaces, i've seen both. she is not a murderer or rapist or whatever else i've seen (yes, "homura is a sexual predator" claims exist, despite this never once even being implied). she is not an abuser — you can argue she's cold or rude, but she is not "an abuser".

if a child like homura existed irl (and they do exist), a professional's first thought would not be "this is an evil, irredeemable, abusive predator who can be treated like an adult", it'd likely be a reaction of horror and deep concern of "what happened to this child to make her act this way?". someone being "the perfect victim" — that is, being soft, demure, sweet, docile, flawless — in response to trauma is a harmful myth for a reason. some trauma victims will react with anger. some may be overly happy in an attempt to prevent further abuse. some, like homura, end up acting "cold" to try and avoid being further hurt. it doesn't mean homura doesn't experience emotion, hates her friends and wants them to suffer, is a predator, is "a bad person", etc.

think! when you write posts about how homura is actually an evil, awful, no good, very bad person with no positive traits, remember she is a middle schooler. of course, she's not a "real" child, and thus doesn't exist to have her feelings hurt over it, but consider this: would you say these things to/about a real child? are you aware that "real children" (often victims of trauma themselves) relate to homura due to this? i was one of them at 14ish, and while "homura is evil [for acting like a traumatized child often does]" discourse never left me particularly hurt, i know it does genuinely upset several people i know. and if you had, say, a real life child relative who acted "cold" after seeing their friends die horribly, would you call them an evil and irredeemable abuser as well?

[sanctus-ingenium]

How old are the novices when they start working on the mezian beasts as smith/knight apprentices?

i broke out the ol powerpoint just for you (zoom in to read)

initiates come from many sources both within and outside the church - from babies randomly dumped on the doorstep of a cathedral to willing donations from the laity. It is a tradition that the first non-inheriting child in a family will be given to the church, it's a huge honour for the parents. but in circumstances where the children are taken without the parents' consent (this happens quite often), the kids are transported to different cities or cathedrals without the parents' knowledge.

all initiates are given new names by the church (forenames in alphabetical order paired with a surname indicating where they first trained) and all efforts are made to eliminate any lingering familial bonds. the mandatory masking helps with this.

i wrote way more than i intended because it was something i needed to write up anyway for my own reference and to refresh my knowledge lol enjoy.

The initiates are given a normal religious education and then when they are considered old enough to do simple supervised work (around 8) their capabilities are tested to determine their life path. Here i have only illustrated two paths - smith and knight - but they can also become scribes, priests, cleaners, cooks, whatever the church may need. needless to say, the knight's path is the most selective, as ultimately there is only one knight at a time, and most of the knight novices will fail to progress.

smith acolytes aren't assigned to any one beast or master, and do basic grunt work - a lot of scrubbing armour and cleaning mechanisms - until they become junior novices at age 12, where they start to be trained to handle more responsibilities. Junior novices are assigned to holy beasts based on need (the beast's master smiths will let the church know when they need extra hands on deck). There's no real age limit to this - a novice is a novice until they become a journeyman, but at a certain stage a junior novice is expected to formally ask a master or journeyman to train them one on one (aka to become an novice apprentice). Whether or not the senior smith accepts is entirely up to them and often depends on their own workload, if they can take on an additional apprentices, etc. They often play favourites and if a novice shows a lot of talent, there could even be competition to see who claims him first as an apprentice.

Once you become an apprentice you get an intensive high quality training that lasts a couple of years until you can be considered a journeyman, someone who can be trusted to independently conduct all tasks required of his profession to a high level of skill. on this chart i only have the primary and secondary route mapped out for mercury smiths but it's the same for all smith disciplines - primary smiths are more prestigious as they work directly on holy beasts, but in truth secondary smiths, who work on commercial engines and designs, are the real moneymakers in the church.

a master is considered a master when they produce a new, innovative design which showcases their mastery of their art. a new efficient engine, a piece of elaborate metalwork, or a new application of dragonsblood - it has to impress a board of established masters enough that the smith is awarded the master rank. masters need to show proof of new innovations on a regular basis and are expected to have at least one apprentice at a time. Mercury Luca, who is in his 30s at the start of the story (after the prologue), earned his master title by designing Leun's current heart block (replacing the original heart design, which was a copy of Pantera's heart built by the late Mercury Rodrigo, Leun's original enginesmith. the heart killed him).

Each holy beast has a master mars and mercury smith permanently assigned to him, and in stables where multiple beasts are maintained, seniority will go to the master smiths of the highest ranked holy beasts (therefore, Mercury Luca, Leun's master enginesmith, is the highest ranked in the stables despite being younger and technically less experienced than the other masters). Saturn alchemists primarily deal with the matters of dragonsblood fuel and dialogue tattoos so have slightly different rankings - First Master Saturn alchemists work on holy beast fuel management, while Second Master Saturn alchemists work apart from the beasts by providing dialogue tattoos to smiths.

Ultimately, all smith apprentices will end up working at their field even if they are eternal novices who never earn enough goodwill to get apprenticed. It's not the same for knights. There can be only one at a time and a knight has no set expiration date - they might die in battle tomorrow, they might serve for thirty years straight. An apprentice knight is expected to be able to replace their master at a moment's notice, mid-battle if they have to, so are always on standby.

The novices selected from the initiates work alongside smith novices and believe that they are no different - i.e, although they have passed the requisite tests to become knights, they are not informed of this. The knight path is highly secretive and until the point of no return, when they are selected for apprenticeship, novices are kept in the dark about their potential futures.

The knight is the only one who gets to select apprentices and is often incredibly choosy. The novices are taken to be interviewed by the knight. If the knight rejects every novice during that recruitment cycle, the rejected novices can join another apprentice route, provided they passed the initial prerequisites at initiate stage. If not, they might be turfed off to go be cleaners or scribes or whatever. On becoming apprentices, the novices get their dialogue tattoos, and from then on are expected to live apart from the rest of the apprentices, in the knights' quarters. The secrets of their tattoos are heavily guarded and from this moment on, any dishonourable dropouts have to be executed to protect knight secrets from spreading even to other members of the church. Apprentices learn on the job, and as they grow older there's a hierarchy among them where the eldest is next in line to replace the knight, and so on. They typically ride in the throne room with the knight, depending on space available. most knights have about six apprentices. Because of this setup, someone as young as 12 might suddenly find themselves a knight in charge of a holy beast.

The requirements for knights are quite stringent. At the start of the story there is a recruitment crisis brewing where Leun is concerned, as Sir Heaven rejects every single novice presented to him and has no apprentices whatsoever, operating the throne room alone aside from a visual interpreter. Although Sir Heaven is visually impaired, that is not actually considered a disqualifier because knights fight blind anyway. injuries to the limbs that leave them permanently affected are disqualifying. Because any apprentice at this stage is considered to be chosen by god, they are given a merciful death. You need two working arms to operate a holy beast.

[jacquesthepigeon]

The writers NEVER want to acknowledge Anarka’s role raising Luka and Juleka and it makes me so mad. Luka should HATE Jagged’s guts, Juleka at least had her doubts (I recall?), but Luka. It’s like he got brainwashed.

This show has such a blatant rich successful dad favoritism it’s insane.

It’s part of why I hesitate when in comes to responding to messages I get wanting to discuss how Anarka “obviously” hasn’t provided a stable home to the siblings what with her lack of explicitly stated source of income and frequent confrontations with the authorities bc, while I don’t think one parent being worse than the other means the other should be exempt from criticism, I do think Anarka has enough plausible deniability to still be interpreted as providing sufficient support to her kids despite her eccentricities and sometimes chaotic behavior and I feel like going hard on her for not being a conventional mother without explicit evidence of how she’s “failing” her kids could lean into accidentally parroting talking points often used against single mothers and working mothers. People have used the fact that Luka has a part time job as indication that he needs to help the family make ends meet and I’m not opposed to that reading but treating it as undeniable cold hard proof of the Couffaines having a turbulent home feels like jumping the gun when the perfectly innocent possibility that he just wants extra pocket money is right there.

Anyway, I wouldn’t put it past the crew to adopt the “Anarka is an unfit mother and Jagged Stone is a million times better actually” mentality as the series goes on. They were so quick to have every character involved enthusiastically accept JS after the reveal to the point where they had Adrien assume Luka’s passion for music comes from his relation to JS rather than the also accomplished and passionate musician mother who singlehandedly raised him. It was so jarring. There’s also the fact that Marinette is the only friend of theirs to have gotten mad at JS in their stead and stand up for them because he was ignoring Juleka and she wound up getting shamed for it by JS and the narrative bc how dare she think a deadbeat might give his kids preferential treatment??? Silly and stupid Marinette! Rich white men are never wrong!

[pinkeoni]

Dustin’s Absent Father and the Effects on His Character

Here��s something I don’t think I’ve made before, it’s a Dustin analysis!

In season 2 we are introduced to Dustin’s mom, as well as the lack of Dustin’s father. It’s not hammered over the head or anything, but it’s there. We aren’t explicitly told what happened to him, and we don’t necessarily need to be told. There are plenty of kids who live in single parent households, and we don’t need to hear the details of this story to understand it. However, the show may be telling us in subtle ways how this effects Dustin, and also what exactly happened to him.

The absense of Dustin’s father seems to make him reach out to others as a replacement father, as well as want to become a good caregiver himself. He does both of these things in season 2, where he simultaneously becomes a adoptive father of D’Art as well as seeks out Steve Harrington as a surrogate father figure (whether he was conscious of this or not)

I think that Dustin’s dedication to D’Art may give some insight as to what happened to his father, or at least, how his father’s absence has affected him. When everyone is arguing about what to do with D’Art, Dustin blurts out this telling line:

I believe that this line may be a projection of Dustin’s personal experience when it came to his father. He promised that he would take care of Dustin, but ended up leaving and/or possibly even dying. Either way, he still left in some capacity and was unable to fulfill that promise.

Dustin says to Mike that he moved to Hawkins in the fourth grade, so I’m willing to bet that his father left and him and his mom moved because of this. This happens to families all the time where they have to relocate because a major source of income has left. We see this happen with Max and her mom in season 4 when they downsize after her step-father leaves. The Henderson’s do seem financially stable though, not as well off as the Wheelers or Sinclairs, but more money than the Byers or the Mayfeilds. I’m willing to bet that Claudia works too, based on her wardrobe. She often dresses in collared shirts and either pants or a skirt with tights underneath, outfits befitting of office-like job.

When Dustin interacts with Claudia, it feels a little different than how other characters like Mike or Will interact with their moms. He’s not as mama’s boy as Will is nor does he argue with her as much as Mike does with Karen. Their interactions are friend-like, almost as if Dustin views her as another one of his friends and less his mom. I think about the scene in the beginning of s2 where Dustin is searching for coins, and he makes weird noises to mock his mom. I’m about to make a wierd comparison, but their dynamic reminds me a little bit of Eric Cartman and his mom from South Park.

Now OBVIOUSLY Dustin is not mean towards or controlling of his mother like Cartman is, but both are single-mom and only child households, and Cartman also sometimes talks to his mom in a similar way that he would talk to his friends, while his mom is extremely loving and doting on him like Claudia is to Dustin. (Loose connection I know, but I’m trying to make a point 😭)

It’s almost like because of the lack of a strong male presence in the house, Dustin almost sees himself as equal with his mom. There isn’t another man that he sees as seperate from himself that establishes a power dynamic, if anything he sees himself the man of the house.

Dustin does however seek out that older male father figure, in both Steve and Eddie. Dustin goes to Steve as a bit of a last reaort, but I think he may have also subconsciously been seeking out and older male to protect him, similar to the role of a father. Off the bat, Steve's relationship with Dustin does begin pretty fatherly. Steve is giving Dustin dating advice, similar to how a parent might talk to their kid about dating. He then gives Dustin a ride to the Snow Ball, who has done his hair the way that Steve told him. We even see this right after we see Max’s mom helping her with her hair.

In season 3, their relationship shifts. Similar to how Dustin interacts with his mom, he now sees Steve as more of his friend rather than his father. He is on equal level with him. Their first interaction of the season is the two of them playing lightsaber with each other— their relationship has definitely shifted from father-son to big brother-little brother.

Dustin even gives dating advice to Steve now, except for the other way around. Dustin's status as a man with the girlfriend gives him a sense of superiority against the man who is effectively bitchless. However, I do think that Dustin is still seeking out that fatherly connection. Dustin goes to Steve after he has already been abandoned by the rest of his friends, something that was echoed with his real dad.

Once season 4 roles around, Dustin starts spending much more time with Eddie than he does with Steve, which is told to us through the dialogue. I think part of the reason why Dustin prefers Eddie over Steve is because Eddie is fulfilling the surrogate dad role better than Steve at this point. How is Eddie more fatherly than Steve? It's not that Eddie is more mature than Steve, but rather Eddie asserts a type of power in his relationship with both Dustin and Mike. He tells them that they are both his sheep and he is essentially their shepherd, or what could be interpreted in Dustin's mind as "You are my son, and I am your father." Eddie even dictates how they dress, what with the Hellfire shirts and whatnot. Eddie even uses the example of "Clothes that your mommy bought you at the goddamn Gap," creating another parent parallel. It’s similar to how Steve was instructing Dustin how to wear his hair.

I don't necessarily think that Mike sees Eddie as a dad but more as a role model that he wants to be like, which is shown through his hair and style shift that attempts to replicate Eddie. Dustin, however, DOES see him as a dad.

So then, if Dustin sees Eddie as replacement for his dad that left him, then that makes this scene all the more sad.

Which begs the question, did Dustin's real father die? There's no conclusive evidence (as far as I can tell) to suggest that he did, but there's also nothing to say that he didn't. If he did, it would definitely make Dustin experiencing the death of a father figure all the more tragic than it already was.

So what does this mean for Dustin's character going forward? I think that we might see a repeat of what happened in season 2, where Dustin steps into a caregiver like role. Not that he's going to get a new baby to replace D'Art, but rather he might assert himself as a protective figure, as to not lose anyone else to the Upside Down. Out of everyone, especially with his science knowledge and interest in research, that he would become the survivalist and the one most prepared to try and keep everyone safe, similar to a parent. No more failing anyone like D’Art, or losing anyone like his dad or Eddie.

[winpocalypse]

https://www.tumblr.com/winpocalypse/772196248762679296/still-thinking-about-your-tags-on-this-post-dean?source=share

(god this is so long im sorry i just have many thoughts on wolves and wolf dean)

"captive / badly socialized wolf dean" YES!! it rings soo true to how his formative years was a family structure that was very militant and constricting in nature with him dividing the world into hunters/civilians/monsters and he'll remain captive to this role and make sure sam is ducked into the same enclosure as him too

also love that you mentioned that wolves in the wild do not fight unnecessarily (the alpha wolf myth buster was honestly the best thing ever) . It's also been observed that sometimes dominant wolves will display passive submissive behaviour to maintain the harmony in packs. it does not affect their hierarchy because the claim of natural dominance is inherent. no posturing needed.

ok so normally im a deersam&wolfdean truther but

I'm wondering if you've considered sam&dean as a sibling pair? (and here's how my wincest agenda can still win)

so naturally there are 3 main types of wolf dynamics right? family with a breeding pair and kids (or more), the lone wolf, and lastly the pairs. normally these are breeding pairs before kids but sometimes, siblings tend to stick together even after leaving the pack to form their own. Usually these pairs suffer due to lack of resources but some extremely competent pairs make it by hunting and watching each other's back (!). they offer mental support to each other and can stay together for Years until they find mates (sibling mating rates are negligible in the wild cause of genetic avoidance)

but there's 1 exception. and that's captivity. sibling pairs in captivity don't have access to or form connections with other wolves outside their immediate family. sometimes they even emulate their version of a family and these families (as u mentioned) cannot leave each other and are much more "stable" due to less disruptions from external factors. (generally this includes pups)

so i guess im saying captive sibling pair samdean imitating some version of 'family' that somehow works for them (or well, at least dean says it does)

this is everything!!!!!!!

It's also been observed that sometimes dominant wolves will display passive submissive behaviour - yes!!!! and i love that, because it shows dean's complete lack of proper social skills. he needs to reaffirm his role again and again and rarely he takes a step back to avoid conflict. when he does, it's to avoid "unnecessary" talks, but it builds and builds until it explodes some other time. we see sam desperately trying to reach out sometimes, talk about their situation, and dean just stands by his unsocialized ass. we even see john do that (the 'submissive' behavior), i know people like to interpret him as a crazy violent father, but he did take a step back once in a while, but he is fairly messed up in his communication skills as well, as we see with wolves when one of the parents die, the pack loses structure, and he was not able to teach proper behavior by himself, and because they're lacking, he shows a lot of dominant traits to compensate and that is what dean observes the most

if you've considered sam&dean as a sibling pair? - now i have and i love it!!! the thing that is most delicious about this is something you mentioned as well: wolves avoid incest. they bond, they play, they care for each other, older siblings even regurgitate food for the pups (and ain't that a image), but the kind of monogamous commitment we see in a breeding pair? that's something else, that's not at all natural for siblings. so for sam and dean to reach that kind of codependency? it has to be such a messed up foundation, such a deep unstable ground that they gotta balance themselves in. sam, though, he had a wild wolf mentality (he's self-taught), he understands loyalty, he understands family, but he's not afraid to go find his own, but just like you said beautifully

he'll remain captive to this role and make sure sam is ducked into the same enclosure as him too

yesssssss

so dean doomed sam to pair with him for life, i would say he even built the enclosure himself and after a while, sam understands he can't get away

they remain as captive, but they remain as family <3

[wishcamper]

AITF Part IV: The Nestapocalypse

Pre reqs: PART I | PART II | PART III

Creds: licensed mental health profesh, person with a family

Hello and welcome back to our deep dive on ACOTAR and family systems theory!

Last time we talked about how Feyre destabilized, and then re-stabilized the IC family system. Her addition revealed the weak points in the system, particularly of Mor as the primary source of anxiety. So let’s look at what happens to the system, and Mor in particular, once Elain and Nesta join, with Lucien peripherally.

Mor, you good? You’re looking a little lonely there.

So I had to eliminate some relationships to make it readable, but there have been some major changes structurally that I want to highlight:

Feyre and Rhys introduced a romantic alliance into the system. Cassian and Nesta later reinforce this. And Azriel is clearly tryin, even if he’s not having success. This is a complete turn from the original systems where, not only were there no romantic relationships, but via the buffer romance in the family was actively discouraged.

The center of anxiety has shifted to Rhys. We see him make choices for others to soothe that anxiety CONstantly throughout ACOFAS and ACOSF. It’s pretty much his primary strategy. And that’s because..

Rhys has real challenges to his power. Nesta doesn’t want or need anything from him, yet has influence on her sisters and Cassian. Nesta refuses to follow the family rules and participate in the NFEP, undermining Rhys’ ability to keep the system stable. Until they cut her off financially and give her the “intervention”, he has no leverage against her because enough other people ultimately want her in.

Waaaayyyy less energy and resources are being devoted to Mor, and her feelings matter much less in family decisions and functioning. 

It’s interesting because even though Mor is no longer the center of the family in terms of relationships, I think she has the most to lose from instability in the system. Everyone else has a stronger relationship than the one they have with her. Yet she needs each one of them to:

Rhys - establish her relevance in the system, provide structure and enforce the rules, and keep the buffer drama from spilling over

Cassian - protect her from connecting with Azriel’s feelings and diffuse her anxiety

Azriel - provide a reason for her to be cagey about her love life/justify keeping her sexuality a secret

Feyre - ensure her relevance to Rhys / secure her position and value

Elain - less their relationship, more that there’s a blanket family rule of “protect Elain”

I say this not as a call out, but to show that Nesta is the only person Mor can attack without jeopardizing her position and reasonably assume the others will let her. Nesta in ACOFAS and ACOSF is a classic scapegoat as the person with the least apparent power and most obvious and stigmatized issues. She’s an easy target, especially for someone like Mor, who is well-versed in the courtier’s game and can appear to be innocent while actually being quite malicious (see: lingerie-gate).

This is where we come back to the topic of alliances. I always associate that term with Survivor, which is actually a really good representation of how alliances function in families in three main ways:

Alliances are always mutually beneficial.

Alliance can be used to leverage power.

Alliances can be broken or changed if one person can get their needs met in a better/easier way.

Alliances can be temporary and utilitarian (I’ll give you a dollar if you don’t tell mom I hit you) or long-standing and an integral part of the system (parents do not contradict each other on rules in front of the kids, and work those disputes out in private to maintain consistency).

The Mor/Cassian alliance fits all these qualities exactly. Cassian gets relief from his guilt and can suppress conflict before it starts, and he also gets someone to fuss over which tbh it seems like he enjoys. Mor gets protection from Azriel’s feelings for her, doesn’t have to face the conflict she generates, and gets fussed over which she also seems to enjoy. And when Cassian starts getting those needs met by Nesta instead, with more perks and fewer costs, he leaves Mor behind and both their roles fundamentally shift.

In that way, Nesta and Cassian’s relationship is really the thing that changes the family permanently, in my opinion. I think if Nesta had just been pushed out, or at least neutralized, they could’ve been fine for a while longer. But because he wants her there, and she refuses to follow the rules, the family has to figure out how to accommodate her. The Nes/Cass alliance is crazy powerful when you break it down.

Nesta has power in the purest sense, as in she is probably magically stronger than anyone else in the Night Court, especially considering Amren’s lost her powers. So at the end of the day, if she got her shit together she could tear it all down. She’s could really leverage the idea that no one should take her temperance for granted. She doesn’t do this and I think that’s because she’s a good person. She doesn’t desire power, which weirdly makes her very suited to have it. She also has power in an influence sense, in that at least her sisters and Cassian are invested in having a good relationship with her which means, by extension, Rhys and Mor have to get on board.

(I realize I haven’t mentioned Azriel very much - he’s the former scapegoat, and never had much power in the first place. I wonder if that’s why he seems to have a soft spot for Nesta, like there’s a sense of solidarity. So his opinions and actions don’t really affect the system unless he wants to start rebelling. Which I think we’ll eventually see him do since he doesn’t have as much investment in keeping the family together after his brothers pair off and Rhys pulls rank.)

Cassian’s power is more passive in this system, in that he causes change when he STOPS doing things, mostly peacemaking behaviors. He absorbs a lot of anxiety in the system, along with Az, and exerts influence through physical and emotional absence. Because of this power, when he starts investing more time and attention in Nesta, Mor reacts by retaliating toward NESTA, who she sees as the more vulnerable/lower status one even though Cassian is 100% initiating the change. Lingerie-gate. “She belongs in the Hewn City”. Her protectiveness of Cass. The call’s coming from inside the house, my love.

As a sidebar, I find this such an interesting dynamic in that is sort of an accidental subversion of the typical tropes. Magical young women conquers the world by NOT using her powers. Bad ass fighting dude is more powerful when he chooses not to act. Such a fascinating theme. Anyway.

We know systems want to stay in balance, so members will do things to rebalance them. Cassian and Nesta are going to be together? Okay, then she has to be acceptable by the family standards and fall in line with the rules. We see this blatantly in the way the IC “intervenes” when Nesta is “embarrassing” them. And there is a layer of the backlash to this shift this that is definitely Mor feeling threatened by Nesta taking her place in the alliance. But what’s interesting to me is that there’s another layer in what she says TO Cassian when Nesta isn’t even around, a passive aggressive way of expressing her disapproval that he’s abandoned her and what she sees as his role.

So when they’re very clearly going to be together, and the mating bond is both obvious and powerful given the rules of their culture and their own system, it forces a schism. On one side is Rhys, Mor, and Amren. On the other is Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel. Feyre straddles the middle, and Elain uses absence to avoid taking sides.

This is actually fairly normal in families as kids grow up and begin families of their own. Shifting priorities change how decisions are made individually and as a group, and where members go to get their needs met. If people are able to accept their changing roles, things can go well - parents transition to being grandparents, siblings can support each other without competing for resources, adult children can establish their own family rules that are in line with their values. When it goes poorly, or when people cling to their rules and roles too rigidly, there can be a lot of conflict.

It’s the great contradiction of the family system that the best way to achieve equilibrium is by accepting that shifting is constant, inevitable, and important. It’s like standing on one foot, that even when you feel stable there are tiny shifts happening, and when you focus too hard on staying upright you almost always fall over. But when you treat the little shifts as normal, you realize that balancing is a process in motion, and looking ahead keeps things steadier than looking down.

Looking at this in a zoomed out way is helpful, but I also want to remember that while these are characters, the dynamics they play out are very real and can be very damaging. We naturally internalize the strategies and structures of our family system. I see this over and over again in my office, the ways people have been conditioned to believe they are defective, broken, inadequate, hopeless. In my personal life, I’ve been contending recently with a lot of trauma from my family that was covert, normalized, and well-hidden but which left me convinced that I was so repulsive, that my inner world was so ugly that anyone I showed it to would immediately leave. Some days it feels like it’s permanently damaged my brain. I know that’s not true, both on a literature level and a personal belief level, but it can be hard to remember and god does it still hurt. I still fear breaking the rules even though I’m the only one enforcing them now.

Okay I’m gonna stop here. This one is really rambling so I hope you got something out of it lol. Life is hard and weird right now, so I hope you’ll excuse if it’s not my usual standard. Thanks for reading <3

[cagednoob]

More turtles….

Yeah some of these I’m not super duper happy about. Clothes are hard. But I had fun theorizing about them! The one most likely to have clothes change is Jennika cause… yeah. Other than Mei and Lita, designs are also viable to change.

I just wanted casual clothes :( but I had no idea what to do 8n8

So rambles about ideas under the read more!

Mei (AKA Venus)

Mei is one of the two siblings that is swept away from the turtle brothers. And she is found by Tang Shen, a zoologist (or something). Shen at first thinks Mei is just a weird weird new species, until she actually starts to mimic her, and cling to her side similar to a child.

Shen realizing this is so much more and instantly getting attached decides fuck it. Time to raise a turtle baby. She moves out to more rural areas within New York to raise Mei where she can be safe and hidden away from people who would want to hurt her. She buys a farm off a nice family and packs everything up to go.

Mei is raised sheltered underneath her mother, and is homeschooled. She loves the countryside, and it allows her to explore to her heart’s content.

She has her own collection of things she finds outside: bugs, feathers, rocks, interesting plants and sometimes the few bone fragments around.

Mei does have at least one friend. The kid(s) of the family who previously owned the land would sometime come out to the property in childish rebellion and they met one day. So she does have that at least.

They’re fascinated by her, and also she’s smart and will do their homework for free. And she’s just eager to hear about the city life and the people!

Teng isn’t the most thrilled about this. But by the time she discovers this, there isn’t much she can do to stop it. Eventually she starts dating a man named Yoshi, and yeah at first he is freaked out by the fact his girlfriend has a mutant turtle daughter. But he eventually just shrugs about it cause there’s weirder things out there.

Mei gets to meet the turtles one day, but it isn’t a sibling bond. More of a friendly bond. And she does get to go to school! Which she’s super eager about and absolutely bouncing about. Aaaaand one day she does get a younger sister when Teng and Yoshi have a daughter named Miwa.

- Why Yoshi and Teng are her parents here is because Baxter and Superfly are separated so I figured why not.

- Also making her keep the name Mei, since there’s plenty of artists named Mei and I do like it ngl.

Frida

Frida is one of the two and that is separated from the brothers, and gets the short end of the stick sort of. Similar to the brothers she gets adopted by another mutant who is mutated by touching the ooze on her.

This mutant happened to be a spider, who becomes Big Mama. Who considers eating Frida, but decided not to. For reasons I haven’t decided yet.

Big Mama does love Frida, but mostly sees her as just a source to provide her with food. And Frida knows her job from a young age to provide for mama. She’s ruthless and uncaring to anything she grabs for her Mama.

Frida gets the short end of the stick as she is very much just a tool for Mama. And has to essentially fend for herself and teach herself. She’s quiet and calculating and just surviving rather than living.

Not sure how she would meet the other turtles, but it’s kind of a shock to her seeing the contrast of how she grew up and them (and Mei). She still has that instinct to feed her Mama, but also… it’s so nice to just relax? And not have to worry about her next meal, or if her parental figure is going to devour her if she gets too hungry.

Frida either moves in with Mei and her family OR with the turtles in my hypothetical AU. She still goes and visits her Mama who is mourning her loss tbh, but it is nice to just live in a stable environment once.

I imagine once Mama has changed enough and made an actual nice living place for Frida, she does move back in. They both learn how to be a family after seeing how other mutants have worked to do the same.

- Frida is super last minute as I just recently found out about her. Also I know she’s the “Venus” of ROTTMNT, buuuuuut they had also said new characters instead. So new character route.

- She wears dark clothes more frequently than the turtles. Buuuut after a while of learning to live she becomes a color fanatic.

Lita & Jennika

Lita and Jennika are “siblings” as they’re a part of an experimental batch. An experimental batch made by T.C.R.I.. They had successfully milked the turtles of ooze, and decided to make more stock to produce more.

And thus Lita and Jennika were grabbed to provide more of this ooze aaaaaaand they didn’t grab two turtles of the same age. Lita is very much a baby, and far too young to go through that.

Jennika is the only one old enough to produce ooze without potentially dying. But she’s only one individual and can’t go through this constantly. So T.C.R.I. is just stuck in a vicious cycle of not being able to get the amount they want cause they need to let her take breaks.

Jennika is very duty oriented, because this was what she was made for. This is her job and her life purpose. Buuuuut she is soft for Lita who is just a baby. And is basically a parent to her.

They get busted out and Jennika has the hardest time adjusting to freedom. She probably bonds hard with Frida tbh. But she is the closest to become a part of the brothers dynamic. She’s just got the cool older serious sister vibes.

Which tbh she’s spent her life taking care of Frida, so she sees them and goes “is anyone gonna stop these knuckleheads” and steps in.

Lita is adopted by Splinter and Stunkbug, and tries to also be the parent of Jennika. But she’s a tad resistant to that. And absolutely stressed about her baby sister not being her responsibility.

Lita gets to grow up in a family where she isn’t encouraged to stay hidden, and isn’t a product to be produced by a big evil company.

- If Frida was last minute then these two are SUPER last minute.

- They’re together since I haven’t figured out too much tbh about either of them. Just this much.

- Lita is adopted by Splinter and is raised as his daughter. Since I kind of am not a great fan of her seeing the brothers as her dads. Idk I just don’t like it personally.

- I played with the idea of Jennika being taken in by Shredder to pay homage to her origins in comic as a foot soldier. But ehhh it felt even more clunky tbh.

- Also neither are humans since I’m not sure if MM if human-to-mutant is even a thing. But that’s down to change. And if so I will probably make Jennika at least a weird mix of human/turtle (Lita can stay turtle tho).

[thestobingirlie]

I’ve seen you talk lots about Steve’s parents and i was wondering if you had any thoughts on Robins parents and how her and her parents dynamic as well as Steve and his parents dynamic could play into their friendship.

I am aware how they’re portrayed in Rebel Robin, but the books are not canon and was wondering if you had any further thoughts?

robin’s parents are also very fun to me!! i don’t have proper decided upon names for them like i do for the harrington’s. but i think in the book mrs b is called melissa? and mr b is called richard, which i think is funny lmao. so i kinda subscribe to those being their names.

now, i love the buckley’s being hippies. like they’re vegetarian, they spent robin’s childhood living in a van, she calls them by their names instead of mom and dad.

i think they accidentally joined a cult at one point, after which they moved to hawkins. for a bit more of a stable childhood for robin. i think they’re judged a lot around the neighbourhood, which makes it harder for them, but they love robin, and they want her to get as many advantages in life as she can. and robin is so bright. they know they can’t homeschool her if they want her to reach her full potential.

i think they’re very loving and affectionate, kinda the opposite of the harrington’s in that way lmao. and i think they’re very loving to robin. maybe she almost feels stifled a bit. i don’t think robin’s ever really had any best friends before steve, so she hung out with her parents a lot growing up. doing puzzles and helping in the garden. they would absolutely be supportive of robin being a lesbian (homophobic buckley’s my beloathed), but she still doesn’t tell them till she’s ready, once they’ve all gotten out of hawkins.

i think because of her parents, she really dislikes steve’s parents lmao. she can see from outside the affect their dynamic had on steve, whereas steve is more stuck in it. she jokes that steve’s dad is far more of the “dick” than robin’s is (because both are named richard lol).

robin will always be a dick harrington hater. number one!!! it takes steve a few more years to catch up to her in that regard. because he hates his dad, but he’s also his dad, you know? and i think steve’s parents are actually a source of strife within stobin. at least in the early years of their friendship. robin wishes steve would just cut and run, and steve sticks up for his parents when robin gets a little too into shit talking them, which can bubble up into arguments. not big ones, but they definitely have to take a bit of space after.

neither of them have stereotypical parents, but i think robin’s parents go against the grain almost in the same way that stobin’s friendship does. most people don’t get it, but it’s healthy and they love each other. so robin’s friendship with steve, it’s everything she’s ever wanted. it’s the kind of relationship she dreamed about as a lonely kid. whereas steve had a lot more of an unhealthy dynamic to look up to, so i do think he kinda romanticised a future with a partner where they never argued and they were always happy etc. and obviously real life isn’t like that. but i do think steve interacting with robin’s parents and seeing them interact with each other, it, like, heals something within him.

anyway, when stobin get lavender married the buckley’s are beside themselves with joy. they love steve. and they’re so excited to become parental figures for him (it’s a position they have to battle for with claudia. it gets bloody (they decide to split christmases)). they know it’s just a lavender marriage, but hey, they’re not very fucking conventional either!

[frazzledsoul]

I sometimes think what life would have been like for Luke and Jess if Luke had been allowed to participate in raising April.

I don't think Luke and Anna would have lasted romantically, but what would life had been like if he were allowed to co-parent since she was born? I imagine he and Rachel wouldn't have reconciled that last time, since she was so flighty in the first place and definitely wouldn't have stuck around if Luke were raising a toddler he had with another woman. I think Luke would have likely moved from the diner apartment early on (especially if he had to fight to maintain partial custody). I wonder how he would have been different: he'd have to get better at settling conflicts, at being less stubborn, of letting go of his grief for his dad and how that caused him to retreat into himself and push people away. He'd have more confidence in how to be a parent. I can imagine him teaching April how to ride a bike, how to fish, how to read. He'd have to navigate social situations because that's what April needed. It wouldn't be the same as it was with his dad, because every kid is different, but he would have that family that part of him longed for but which he claimed he didn't want because caring fur little kids half terrified him.

Jess would have been eight and a half when April was born and I actually think she would have brought Jess into Luke's orbit far sooner. I don't trust Liz to respect that he had other responsibilities. I think after a few years she would have seen how stable he was compared to her and foisted Jess on him. So one wonders how that would have worked: Jess and April growing up as more siblings than cousins. I think he would still have been a troublemaker but less destructive, not quite at odds with the rest of the town. I can see the three of them making fun of everyone else at town functions, Jess and April trading sci fi novels when she got old enough, Jess occasionally getting into fights with people who tried to bully her.

So how does this affect the subjects of our source material, Lorelai and Rory? Truthfully, I'm less interested in that, but the implications are interesting. Is Luke more attractive to Lorelai because of the DILF aspect, or does it scare her away? Do Jess and Rory become friends earlier? Does their teenage romance become more or less palatable if their parents get involved sooner? I assume if Jess and Rory still dated it would be a lot less likely to end in disaster and they might make it for a bit at least after high school, particularly if Luke and Lorelai ended up waiting to get involved. And if Rory grows up with a more stable Jess as an influence on her, does that result in her bucking the expectations placed on her and maybe doing something radical like going to a university with a journalism degree? Maybe they can go to NYU together and Luke and Lorelai can do their own thing afterwards without the involvement of a certain baby daddy/relationship ruiner.

I know most fans hate April, but I do sometimes wonder about this stuff and how she could have been used as a force for good if she became part of the story earlier.

[toribookworm22]

Happy WBW to you too! What is something that is very culturally acceptable in any of your worlds that may seem strange to people in real life? Do you consider it good, bad, or neutral? I'd love to hear all about it!

Hey, Essie! Thanks for the ask, love!

Pulling from The Animatronic Saga:

Oooh! This is a great opportunity for me to talk about an aspect of The Animatronic Saga that is both incredibly important and interesting to me:

Childhood.

Childhood is a concept that is still recent in human history. Depending on your source and what you really consider childhood to be, it was created between 1500 and the 1940s. No matter what, childhood as a concept changed what the early years of life meant.

No longer were children "little adults," now they were kids. And for the past while-- again, duration depending on when you credit its creation-- this has been the norm for a majority* of countries around the world.

But The Animatronic Saga takes place in 13019. And childhood has changed.

New age requirements have been set in this new time, all of them somewhat depending on their location:

13 is when a child is eligible for TCMA (Teenage Conscription for Military Assistance) if they live within an allied country.

13 is also when kids are given full autonomy over their education and when some jobs are legally open to them.

16 is when children are legally separate from their parents and guardians.

Of course, there are also unspoken rules:

Child labor of some kind is legal in most countries at a varying but young age.

Guardians paid an allotment for taking care of a child (take Maybelle for example, whose aunt receives government aid) will lose funds if the child works.

Arranged marriages are not uncommon, but have changed form a little. Parents will engage their similar-aged children at a young age and wait until they are at least 16 to see it through.

The biggest change in what childhood looks like comes not from any new or changed rules, but simply a change in the economic topography. A much larger percentage of the population is poor or homeless. Automatically, that strips those children of a childhood. Homeless children are distributed to paid guardians who are often terrible homes. It's cyclic.

And even if they are not, from 13 to 19 their name could be chosen at any time and they are sent to train and go to war.

This is all seen as completely acceptable by the majority of the population.

And while there are portions, such as children gaining more autonomy, that are good, even the reasons behind that are bad. Children deserve a safe and stable childhood. I know not all children today get that, but this world levels up the meaning of that. That's why childhood and adulthood are themes within the story as a whole.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

* This is to the best of my knowledge and obviously circumstantial.

[soulsxng]

Vasyrus Heat Cycles, etc.

(This is a long one, and I know that, so uhh strap in I guess! I divided it into sections to make it a little easier to read bit by bit.)

They have a fairly wide range when it comes to how frequently their heats occur, but it’s generally anywhere between a year and a half, to three years between. They generally last around two to four weeks at a time. Generally, the older the vasyrus (and thus, the more cycles they’ve been through), the more of a “warning” they get of it beforehand, so it doesn’t just blindside them completely.

It...yeah, makes them horny, but not so much that they’re out of their minds with lust or anything-- it’s a slightly more than back-of-the-mind craving that just...sits there. 

Constantly. 

For potentially as long as a month. 

Other symptoms, however, include things like a higher amount of energy than usual and insomnia (if they do try to sleep, for some reason), as well as enhanced senses-- particularly regarding their sense of smell and hearing. Their bodies burn magical energy faster, and their magic is prone to becoming even more unstable than usual. 

This means most of them do their best to avoid fighting, or anything else that would cause them to use large quantities or energy at one time. It also means that they need to replenish their magic more frequently (six to eight times a day as opposed to once or twice a day), and in smaller quantities to help keep them more stable.

- Purpose

To make it easier to have kids, yes, but more specifically. During their heat, a vasyrus is able to produce eggs-- something that typically is much harder for them to do without a lot of really specific stimulation. It also makes it far more likely that one, out of the four sexes of vasyrus is able to get pregnant, and hastens the gestation periods by about a sixth of the usual time it would take (~5-6 months)

Outside of heat, a vasyrus is lucky if they’re able to produce one or two eggs at all, unless they really know what they’re doing. In it, though, they can generally produce one to three, per sexual encounter...so the chances of getting a baby out of it is much higher.

- Pregnancy

Though one (rarely two) of the four sexes of vasyrus is able to get pregnant, that is the least common method of conceiving a child for the species. A vasyrus’ magical energy is extremely unstable, and as if a pregnancy in and of itself wasn’t enough to throw an already fragile balance off, they’re literally growing an even more unstable baby vasyrus inside themselves that makes it even worse. A vasyrus pregnancy requires a lot of help from (preferably, not not required) other vasyrus, and even then there’s a lot that can go wrong.

The more common method is by egg-- with a fertilized egg being “carried” by a parent until it’s developed enough to not need a constant stream of magic, and not as likely to burst or break being the usual way to do it. After which point it is transferred to a sort of incubator that keeps it safe, and nourishes it with a stable source of magical energy until it hatches.

The other way is to immediately put a fertilized egg in the incubator, but this also requires one of the parents to keep close to it at all times, as the eggs need a fairly large stream of magic for it to develop-- one that is more than the incubator can reliably supply for that long a period.

Vasyrus eggs are fertilized by a concentrated, and fairly specific type of magical energy. This is naturally achieved during their heat, but those that are more experienced can also do it outside of that.

They, like the other 3 “original” species, are able to produce offspring with beings of other species. Most commonly heard of will be vasyrus-setana hybrids, like Ranadi.

- Anatomy

This kind of has to be explained in order for everything to make sense, so here’s what you’ve all been waiting for!

There are four different “sexes” of vasyrus, like I mentioned above. Thee of those four produce eggs and are effected by a heat, while the fourth is not. The two most common are going to be those like Sivel, and those like Ranadi. I’ll go into Sivel’s first, because that makes the other 3 a lot easier.

Two “penises”. Both hidden at least partially by a slit that also acts similarly to a vagina. The first penis is longer, and a bit thinner than the second one. It tapers, and also curves slightly upward at the end, and when erect will start slowly producing semen...pretty much until their first orgasm. There isn’t much chance for that to get their partner pregnant, however, and its sole purpose is primarily for lubrication.

The second penis isn’t technically a penis at all? It’s more an ovipositor, I guess. It’s thicker than the first, and straight, to make it less likely for any eggs to get stuck. There’s actually two holes in it-- one at the tip, and one inside. Typically, the entire thing is hidden inside the slit, at which point the inner hole is where eggs will come out. If it’s erect and outside of the slit (which usually doesn’t happen outside of their heat), then the inner hole stretched too tight for the eggs to get through, and will come out the tip instead.

The slit itself, while similar to a vagina, is honestly more just the canal, but with more room. Vasyrus like Sivel can’t be impregnated in the mammalian sense, as they don’t have the rest of the parts necessary to do so. They can, however, carry eggs if they so choose. They can impregnate a partner both in and out of heat.

Vasyrus like Ranadi are the ones not effected by heat. They have a slit, and the more tapered penis. They’re unable to produce eggs, but can carry them. They are generally unable to get pregnant, though there are rare cases where some of them are able to do so. Their semen also has a higher chance of getting their partner (typically a non-vasyrus, tbh) pregnant than the other sexes of vasyrus do.

The next most common type of vasyrus are those like Sivan, who have both the more tapered penis, and the thicker one just beneath that. They do produce eggs, so they are effected by heat, but aren’t able to carry eggs or become pregnant themselves. They, like the first sex, is able to impregnate their partner in and out of heat, though.

The last of the vasyrus sexes are those like Alsina and Quella. They have the thicker ovipositor/penis, as well as a slit. They can produce and carry eggs, and are the only sex of vasyrus able to become pregnant in the mammalian sense of the word. Because of this, they are the least common sex of vasyrus, as-- rare as a pregnancy is-- it almost always results in the death of the baby and/or the parent because of how volatile a vasyrus’ magic is.

[the-aviary-system]

I was gonna just reblog and write a few notes in the tags but I ended up getting a bit carried away so I might as well write it here so that it's less of a mess to look at.

This happened to us. Our host didn't think we had it "that bad" for years and years because people just don't seem to acknowledge emotional abuse as a bad thing. "It's just a form of parenting." "Tough love."

I guess turning out to be the host of a traumagenic system made him realize it was, in fact, "that bad." So at least he doesn't have imposter syndrome anymore. But god, the imposter syndrome was so bad for him growing up. He always wondered why he was like this, why he was so anxious and unhappy. He didn't know anything about mental health so he didn't really have the words to describe his experiences or understand them.

What sucks is despite the years and years of damage it causes, this is completely fucking legal to my knowledge. You can just break your child mentally and as long as you never laid a finger on them, you're in the clear. (Though even then, some physical abuse, like spanking/beating with a belt, is "socially acceptable" as a punishment so he got away with that too.) Our abuser will never face consequences- and we're watching exactly the same thing happen again from our older brother to our nephews. The cycle of abuse continues and there's nothing we can do because it's not considered "real" abuse by the wider public, as far as I know. There's nothing we can do to help them.

All we can hope is that we can be a good enough role model to our nephews that they choose to be different than their father. That they turn out to be better men than he ever was. That they can have someone who supports them and understands when we didn't have that at their ages.

Yelling and emotional abuse is so widespread that many people just accept it as part of parenting which is why it goes unnoticed, uncared. That's why abusers get away with it again and again.

This kind of treatment, being yelled at for misbehaving or messing up, it taught us nothing other than to avoid situations, skip class if it got too hard so we wouldn't have a meltdown despite how it affected our grades because we just weren't stable enough for it. It gave us crippling anxiety and horrible perfectionism. It fucking sucks because now, even when our abuser isn't around, we still beat ourselves up because we're so used to being treated that way that we don't know how else to react.

This treatment is also why our system has so many headmates with family issues. The brain is so used to being abused from our upbringing that it just makes up new memories to be traumatized with (I mean I know that's probably not why exotrauma happens, something something processing trauma, I think, but still). Like with me, one of the traumaholders of the system, a Michael Afton fictive- I've got a couple main sources of trauma but one of them is exomemories of emotional and physical abuse from my father. The abuse was only really implied in my source, but the brain took it and ran with it. I mean, someone who kills kids isn't likely to be a good father, right?

Sorry if any fictives or kins of my father read that. It's not directed at you, I just needed to get it off my chest. It's only directed at the version of him that I remember.

But anyway, the exotrauma cooked up by our brain paralleled the host's dad in many ways, the version of my father that I remember was meant to act a lot like he did. I can't look at the host's dad without thinking of mine. I hate them both for what they did to us.

I don't have much else to ramble about so I guess that's all.

-Michael (he/him)

“Why do you beat yourself up so much over little mistakes?”

[farfromfew]

Growing up with a mother diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia was no joke. The confusion, the conflicting thoughts and emotions, the fear, the loneliness, it was turbulent to say the least. God knows how she felt. As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to sympathise with her. Our relationship was strained in many ways but there’s no denying her illness played a big part. I’ve learned it’s okay to recognise that I struggled too, more than I would first admit. After all I only ever knew my sick mother, as she states before her actual diagnosis it all began before I was born, when her own mother died - the trigger. I yearned, yearn for a healthy mother. I feel bad for doing so but at my big age I realise I’ll never receive what I needed, need. It’s a strange type of grief bound by pain and guilt.

There was none to share my experiences with, who would understand? I certainly didn’t. My siblings had their own experiences, it wasn’t the same for them, though I’m sure difficult. They were older and perhaps a little more understanding of what was going on, luckily for them they didn’t receive the contempt my mother held towards me. To carry your earliest memories around, weighty words of abuse that you can’t seem to rid yourself of. How they’ve bound to my very existence despite efforts to heal and ‘move on’ like a stubborn stain that penetrates beneath what you can see. All it takes is a trigger and I’m back there all over again.

Once she began medicating things were much more stable but it took a long while to get to that. My memory is very patchy unsurprisingly, but I do remember some of the chaotic times as a young child. When she’d ‘have an episode’, when police would arrive, doctors visits home, having to call an ambulance for the first time whilst she was having a breakdown and hyperventilating. Looking back I’m surprised I didn’t act out at school, I was always considered a well behaved kid for the most part. I was however a noticeably emotional child growing up - to my parents dislike. Frequently tearing up and struggling to stop crying in situations when it was unwarranted. Having such moments at school were the most embarrassing, I tried my best to hide it. This trait has stuck with me unfortunately, though I’ve managed to hate it less and accept it more with age, still trying to better grasp it. I suppose it stemmed from never quite learning how to effectively regulate my emotions, since I always dealt with things alone.

It’s interesting how your childhood can shape the adult you become. Whether positively or negatively. I have so much to work on. My inner child is still so needy, but who wants to feel this needy as a grown adult, at an age where I could be a mother I so deeply yearn to have one in the way a child needs. And whilst I’d love to be a mother one day, the mere thought is terrifying - that I could possibly inflict such pain on my own child, whether knowingly or unknowingly is devastating.

I was often scared by my mother’s fear, isolated by her neglect and hurt deeply by her words. How much can be excused by illness? Is this a worthy question to even ask? I’m plagued repeatedly with these thoughts, an endless wrestle between my feelings and my attempts to rationalise this all. As she weakens with age I sympathise more, but my own pain echoes just as loud as ever. Will I ever heal from this? I ask Allah for His help.

Coping is a chore. Requires effort and is usually poorly executed. Some methods are habit and perhaps do more harm than good. Efforts to self-soothe? How exactly? A physical wound you can perhaps tend to on your own. Mental pain devours you whole - often there is no room for the rational voice to break through. When you need it most you are alone, fighting yourself for yourself.

Growing up I learnt to deal with everything on my own, there was no reliable source of comfort and so suffering in silence was the only option. Old habits die hard. Ultimately you must deal with it on your own, I don’t wish to be a burden on others and as I’ve grown up I’ve never quite had a close enough bond with anyone where vulnerability was met with receptivity and comfort in the way I need. Therapy only does so much - finding a good therapist is the biggest task, I never quite got there. What I have found is that the only real relief comes in remembering Allah and seeking His closeness. Relying on Him and being at your most vulnerable with Him alone, knowing you don’t have to struggle to find all the right words or pretend to act strong. That He’s aware of every last detail of your situation, all that you wrestle with and the silent desperation you hold. You are free to release it all to Him, no need to worry about oversharing or being embarrassed by your vulnerability. That release doesn’t immediately solve everything but makes you lighter and how great is that when you’ve been at rock bottom for so long. You might not see what you wish for, for a long time perhaps, but you know you are heard by your Lord. The greatest, The one able to do all things. That hope along with your patience and maintaining a closeness to Allah is what will get you through. It is the only way. No easy task of course, but nothing worthwhile ever is. You must keep at it. The pain is never in vain.

[ace-chronicals]

Identity

Having immigrated at a young age I am often left wondering: am I from my birth place or from my place of residence? I left my motherland at 3 years of age. The immigration was rocky, I do not remember the process of it, as I was far too young to process the events fully, but I did hear the stories. I heard of the hardships my family had to face to be able to find stable footing in the country of dreams.

I went to a head start program, likely due to my parents both working full time and not having time to babysit me during this time. Maybe that is what inspired my love of learning, I was always curious and interacting with other kids my age (having grown up with the closest child my age being 5 years older) was quite a change. I believe it was a dual school as well, dual schools are bilingual schools. For I, did not fully learn English till I was in 1st grade.

I may not remember much of my childhood back then, what I do remember was constantly being pulled out of my class to get English lessons back in 1st grade. I spent more time with the other teacher than my actual homeroom one. One of my greatest achievements, even if it is silly, was being able to beat everyone bar one of my peers (whose native tongue is English) in reading.

I grew up being one of the few with Spanish as their first language, or at least, one of the few immigrants in my grade level. It became part of my personality, ingrained into me as a source of motivation.

Having now spent most of my life in America, I fear that I have lost my roots. Can I even say I am from the country of volcanos anymore? Am I now a full American?

I can not speak English as well as I do Spanish, yet I can read and write English better than I can Spanish. I may not have grown up in the motherland but I grew up with its dishes and customs. Everyone that was Hispanic around was from the land of ancient ruins while I came up with earthquakes. Believe it or not, it was a stark contrast. Even now being older: my Spanish, my culture, and my upbringing is seen as weird through the eyes of my peers. I do not fit neither stereotype.

Back home, my family did not fit in either. We were poor but everyone was. We were not taught slang, not allowed to stay near those inebriated or under the influence at any time, not taught curses and even grew up without the accent that our country was known for. We even forwent eating certain foods due to my mothers aversion to eating certain animal parts.

Am I American? Am I volcanic? It appears I am a Salvi but what does that entail when all I relate with other Salvi's is my ethnicity not my upbringing?

[webscarlet]

Crucial Foster Care Requirements You Need to Know

Foster care performs an important role in presenting a transient home for children who can't stay with their organic households due to diverse reasons which includes abuse, forget about, or different safety issues. It offers a strong and nurturing environment while their mother and father work towards reunification or other permanent answers. Understanding the important necessities for becoming a foster figure is vital for all and sundry considering this noble route. Guardian Light Family Services, positioned in Lincoln, Nebraska, is a key enterprise that helps foster care placements and ensures the proper-being of youngsters in need.

What is Foster Care?

Foster care is a brief dwelling arrangement for youngsters who have been eliminated from their homes because of abuse, neglect, or other safety concerns. It offers a strong and nurturing surroundings for these kids even as their mother and father paintings closer to reunification or other everlasting solutions. Foster care is an essential part of the kid welfare machine and plays a vital position in ensuring the protection and proper-being of inclined youngsters.

Who Can Become a Foster Parent?

Foster dad and mom may be people or couples who are at least 21 years old, financially stable, and have an easy criminal document. They have to even have a proper interest in presenting a safe and loving domestic for youngsters in want. Foster dad and mom come from all walks of lifestyles and backgrounds, however all of them share a dedication to making an advantageous distinction in the lives of children.

The Role of Guardian Light Family Services

Guardian Light Family Services performs an important role in the foster care manner by providing assistance and sources to both foster dad and mom and youngsters. They facilitate the position of youngsters in foster homes and make certain that the desires of the kids and households are met throughout the method. Guardian Light Family Services additionally offers education and guidance to foster dad and mom to assist them navigate the complexities of the foster care gadget and make certain the proper-being of the children in their care.

Legal Requirements

Foster dad and mom should meet certain felony necessities to make certain the protection and nicely-being of the kids in their care. These necessities include:

Age and Legal Status: Foster mother and father ought to be at least 21 years old and legally eligible to paintings inside the United States.

Background Checks: Foster mothers and fathers should go through thorough background assessments, along with crook records and baby abuse clearances, to ensure the protection of the youngsters in their care.

Home Study: A home has a look at is conducted to evaluate the suitability of the foster home, which includes the bodily environment, family dynamics, and capacity to meet the wishes of the child.

Financial Requirements

Foster parents ought to also meet sure financial requirements to ensure they could offer for the kid's desires. These requirements consist of:

Income and Stability: Foster parents should exhibit financial balance and the capability to satisfy the desires in their own family without depending solely on foster care reimbursements.

Financial Disclosure: Foster parents ought to provide precise financial records as part of the utility procedure to ensure they can thoroughly care for an infant.

Training and Support

Foster parents get a hold of education and help them navigate the foster care system and meet the needs of the youngsters in their care. This schooling covers subjects which include toddler development, trauma-informed care, and the foster care gadget.

Health and Safety Standards

Foster mothers and fathers need to meet positive fitness and safety standards to ensure they are able to be concerned for a child. These requirements consist of:

Physical Health Requirements: Foster mothers and fathers must meet unique physical health necessities to make sure they're able to worry for a kid.

Home Safety Checks: Foster homes have to meet unique protection standards to make certain the proper-being of the children placed in their care.

Benefits of Foster Care

Foster care affords many benefits for both children and foster parents. Some of the advantages encompass:

Impact on Children: Foster care affords youngsters with a strong and loving surroundings where they can thrive and grow. It can assist them heal from beyond traumas and broaden healthy relationships with caring adults.

Personal Growth and Satisfaction: Fostering may be a deeply profitable revel in for mother and father, supplying them with the opportunity to make an advantageous effect on a toddler's existence and make contributions to their community.

Community Contribution: Foster care is an important provider that benefits the network as an entire by means of offering a safe haven for kids in need and helping to strengthen families.

Challenges of Foster Care

Fostering additionally affords demanding situations for each kid and foster dad and mom. Some of the challenges encompass:

Emotional Challenges: Fostering may be emotionally challenging, because it calls for dad and mom to navigate complex relationships and deal with the trauma and behavioral issues that many foster youngsters face.

Logistical Challenges: Foster care additionally presents logistical challenges, consisting of coordinating visits with organic parents and making sure that children acquire the necessary clinical and academic offerings.

Support Systems: Having a sturdy assist device in vicinity is essential for foster mothers and fathers to assist them navigate the challenges of fostering and ensure the proper well-being of the children in their care.

How to Get Started

If you're inquisitive about turning into a foster determined, step one is to touch Guardian Light Family Services. They can offer you with greater records about the foster care method and assist you. Guardian Light Family Services regularly hosts information sessions for potential foster dad and mom. Attending this kind of period is a remarkable way to study greater foster care and ask any questions you could have.

Foster care is a critical provider that gives kids in want with a secure and loving environment in which they could thrive. By information the necessities and getting involved with Guardian Light Family Services, you can make a positive effect on the lives of kids for your community. Contact Guardian Light Family Services at 308-870-7260 to examine greater approximately becoming a foster determined.

Contact Guardian Light Family Services at 308-870-7260 to study greater, approximately turning into a foster figure and make a distinction in a baby's existence these days. Becoming a determined foster is a profitable experience that can trade lives for the higher. If you have the affection, compassion, and willpower to offer a safe and nurturing home for a kid in want, keep in mind becoming a foster parent nowadays.

[orthopedicdoctorinbhopal]

Orthopedic Health for Every Age: Tips for Kids, Adults, and seniors

As we age, our bodies go through many changes. From the growing pains of childhood to the aches and stiffness of senior years, orthopedic health is important for everyone at every stage in life. Whether you’re a parent looking for tips on keeping your kids healthy or an adult wanting to stay active as you age, here are some helpful tips on how to maintain good orthopedic health throughout your lifetime.

Also Read: Best Knee Replacement Surgeon in Bhopal

For Kids: As children grow and develop their bones can become weak if they don’t get enough exercise or calcium-rich foods like dairy products or certain leafy greens. To keep kids strong and limber it's important that they engage in regular physical activity such as running, jumping rope, biking, etc., while also eating a balanced diet with plenty of vitamins and minerals needed for bone growth. Additionally, parents should be sure their child gets adequate rest each night so that muscles have time to recover from any strenuous activities during the day! 

For Adults: Exercise is key when it comes to maintaining good orthopedic health into adulthood; adults should aim for 30 minutes per day five days a week doing something active like walking briskly around town or going swimming at least twice each month (more often if possible). Eating well will also help ensure bones remain strong by providing them with all necessary nutrients needed—this means getting plenty of vitamin D from sources such as fish oil supplements along with calcium found naturally in foods like yogurt & cheese! Lastly, make sure not to overdo it - listen closely when pain signals start firing off because this could indicate an injury requiring medical attention – consult with a bone doctor in Bhopal immediately if need be!

For Seniors: As seniors reach retirement age they may find themselves dealing with more frequent than before various joint issues due to decreasing amounts of muscle mass, which can lead to increased risk of falls/injuries—but there are ways to combat these problems including light weight training exercises combined with low impact cardio activities, designed specifically to target areas where strength has been lost (i.e. shoulders, arms, legs, etc.).

A diet consuming omega fatty acids found in salmon, tuna, sardines, walnuts, flaxseeds, helps lubricate joints, reduce inflammation, improve mobility, while avoiding processed sugars, artificial sweeteners, trans fats, saturated fats, altogether keeping blood sugar levels stable, thereby reducing the risk of developing diabetes-related conditions down the road. Finally, make sure to visit a local bone doctor in Bhopal regularly to check up on any potential issues early rather than later to prevent further complications from occurring later in life!