#At least starting off showing general life stuff of an assortment of characters and the worlds they live in or something before building up

[the-bigger-fish]

So like..... Does anybody have any advice on how to build an episodic series for their characters and setting and how to build that into a more continuous narrative going forward once everything's more established in the previous self contained-ish episodes?

[gayleviticus]

assorted thoughts on the two new doctor who episodes (spoilers below)

space babies

Weird concept but I think it worked. i dont think the token political allegory had a ton of depth but the stuff about stories is interesting enough i feel like i need to think abt it a little bit

my biggest issue is it feels like the doctor and ruby do a very jarring 180 on sparing the bogeyman at the end. like, i think in some ways it was predictable, but it happens so abruptly after they show zero concern for the bogeyman even knowing the truth of its origins I was super confused. like, i was just content to dismiss it as literally a pile of snot and not a living being.

ironically given the pro-choice vibes in the episode, this actually reminded me a little of kill the moon, where the episode doesn't spend any time actually fleshing out what the Bogeyman is, whether it has consciousness, its degree of sentience etc, the characters just decide killing is bad.

since this episode doesnt try to make a moral dilemma of it it feels less bad than kill the moon (altho I think unfair moral dilemma is a very deliberate choice on KtM's part to make you empathise w Clara aginst the Doctor) but I think it makes the 180 more baffling given the episode seems so uninterested in the Bogeyman as an actual being? if that makes sense?

the devil's chord

to be honest, while it was a fun watch at the time, this felt like an episode that ran out of ideas midway and the more I think about it the more I sour on it. at least scripting wise - i do think this was a very strong episode presentation wise!

Based on this and the Giggle I genuinely don't think RTD knows how to write godlike adversary; both these stories generally collapse into just 'godlike enemy hams it up and does goofy things while the doctor tries random stufff to save the day.' Like, as soon as Maestro turned up it felt as if the thread of narrative logic snapped and it just became a random events plot. And I felt the same with the Toymaker.

I think the issue is that these episodes overplay the power differential so much the Doctor doesn't have any kind of plan - but because these godlike entities like to toy w their victims it means neither the protagonist or antagonist are really driving the plot? i think the fact Maestro read as hammy rather than threatening also didn't help.

I also think these episodes don't set up clear enough rules. If you're going to have godlike aliens with gimmicks confronting the Doctor, the obvious appeal is that it's a story about manipulating the rules of the game to come out on top. It's like dealing with the Fey - or even Weeping Angels; the tension is in figuring out how to rules lawyer the godlike alien out of existence. But instead too much is made of the Doctor not knowing the rules and not attempting to discover the rules and it becomes boring. And if you take that aspect away what actually is the appeal of Doctor vs godlike alien?

They should have played devil went down to georgia during the music battle smh

The Beatles saving the day felt cheap, but it would have been incredibly cheap if they weren't real life people. Like can you imagine any other Doctor Who episode where one-off characters dismissed in the first 10 minutes save the day?

ngl while the ending song was fun and not lyrically terrible... it did feel like the lyrics were ironically the same kind of thing as the bad songs they were lampooning at the start of like, just perfunctorily rhyming random things together? idk. i guess it wasn't as pedestrian but i found it a bit funny

both

i feel like these episodes had a bit more of a return to a kind of procedural investigation format of Doctor Who - characters turn up to a new location and slowly have to piece together what's going on, the rules. which we also had previously in Wild Blue Yonder tbf, but i think it's interesting.

I like how there were moments where Ruby takes charge and says something a bit Doctorly - like when they enter the recording studio in devil's chord she says something like "Right, let's go!" and leads the way. It's a small touch but it just subtly chips away at the dynamic where the Doctor is always In Charge yknow?

Space Babies riffing on End of the World and Devil's Chord riffing on Pyramids of Mars for exposition scenes is perfectly justifiable (esp in the latter case given Pyramids of Mars is like 50 years old now), but I did definitely feel w those scenes that I'd seen it all before? Like, it's one thing to reuse a tropey scene because it's an efficient way of moving the story along, but I felt w both those scenes as soon as I knew what was going on I'd seen it all before. Nothing new. I could go to the toilet for a couple minutes

The magical realism is interesting (the handling of godlike beings aside) but i especially like the ideas of memories, songs hidden in Ruby's soul, and the snow appearing - that's very cool!

[differenceonlyyoucanmake]

12 Dancing Princesses Thoughts/ Headcanons/ Assorted Stuff that Came to Me in a Dream

I’m kind of tired, so this may be incomplete. I wanted to put it out there, though. My dreams have mostly been from Courtney’s perspective, not an omniscient one. Because of this, there may be some gaps.

Ashlyn:

- Deserved so much better

- It actually makes me upset. I woke up from one of my 12dp dreams in TEARS because she deserved so much better.

- After Isabella passed, Ashlyn took on the role of being a maternal presence to her sisters. She did this extremely well, but it’s also heartbreaking how she pushed herself to grow up.

- Randolph was not a capable father during the lowest periods of his grief, and Ashlyn definitely had to compensate for this.

- Randolph... could have been kinder to her, especially after the queen died. He couldn’t look Ashlyn in the eyes. She reminded him too much of his late wife.

- Isabella wanted Ashlyn to inherit her belongings and position, but Randolph had his own favorites (I promise I don’t think he was an evil person, but he could have done better).

- I think Ashlyn would identify as bisexual.

- She knew several instruments, but was most attached to the flute. Her most treasured memories involved Isabella giving her flute lessons.

- She was expected to be the mature one all the time, so she repressed a lot of her own frustrations in favor of caring for others.

- She was closest to Blair and Courtney.

- She was a little soft spoken, and one of the most “ladylike”; Ashlyn was one of the sisters who struggled least with Rowena’s lessons.

- The younger sisters had a hard time remembering that she was a person capable of all sorts of feelings. They expected parental behavior from her, and got really confused when she expressed negative emotions.

- Some of the sisters assumed Ashlyn didn’t care for sweets, because she would offer hers to the others whenever they got any. In reality, she thought this was kind behavior. She showed sacrifice in several, seemingly inconsequential, ways.

- Despite seeming so mature, she always felt as if she stopped growing up after her mother passed.

- As the sisters grew up, Ashlyn really struggled with finding her purpose. She didn’t get the power her mother promised her. She put her own ideas and prospects aside to care for her sisters. She ended up floating from kingdom to kingdom, with varying success in several different courts. She eventually came  to live with the other eldest sisters.

- Despite being (in my view) cheated out of her kingdom, Ashlyn seldom expressed frustration or resentment. She adopted the attitude of a retired noble early in life, spending a lot of time on composing music and serene hobbies.

Blair

- horse.... horses..... sleeping in the stables...... with the horses

- I’m kidding! Mostly!

- Blair was bold and opinionated. She also loved witty conversation and comedy.

- What else did she love? Horses.

- She would sneak out all the time to ride.

- Her favorite horse was black and very tall.

- She was closest to Ashlyn and Courtney.

- Blair was sick in childhood.

- Though the older sisters were known for being more refined and elegant, Blair pushed this notion plenty.

- She loved adventure.

- All of the sisters missed the golden pavilion, but Blair struggled with this a lot.

- She didn’t have as many problems with Randolph, but sometimes she would CAUSE problems on purpose (mostly defending Ashlyn and calling out his favoritism).

- She turned her own estate later in life into a close replica of the pavilion. The grounds were massive.

- She was intelligent, but struggled with many academic tasks. If she needed to read something that was challenging, she would often hand it to Courtney for help. She would only have motivation to read if it was about subjects she loved.

- This is ironic, because she later came to be a published writer. I believe these were short works, similar to pamphlets.

- Blair enjoyed throwing and attending large balls and gatherings. She was still chasing the thrill of the magical visits she’d make with her sisters.

- Blair was considered extremely beautiful, and drew admirers wherever she went. She accumulated many pieces of ruby jewelry this way.

- She also liked wearing capes and cloaks.

Courtney

- Generally shy, Courtney made an exception when she stood up for Ashlyn.

- Courtney longed to travel, and books provided her with a form of escapism until she was able to.

- She had a health scare after the events of the movie, and this somehow tarnished her standing in society??

- She wasn’t straight, probably a lesbian.

- She was well read on political matters and the history of their kingdom, and would often be the first one to noticed Randolph’s incompetence in certain areas.

- She was a young teen when she first started rewriting her father’s treaties in her spare time. She learned after the first time not to bring her drafts to him.

- When Ashlyn and Blair left home, she grew closer with Fallon. Both had a streak of wanderlust, and gravitated towards the romantic.

- Courtney published poetry under a pseudonym starting at a young age. This probably helped her somewhat. As she grew up, her poems grew in notoriety, and many debated who their true writer was. A significant portion focused on love between women and feeling trapped.

- I think she had been to Apollonia (Antonio’s kingdom in Island Princess) several times, and knew both Luciana and Antonio from an early age. I think this was the case for many of the older sisters.

- After their mother died, the girls traveled less, and met less new people. Courtney was bothered by this.

- She was generally thought of as calm and quiet, but she felt emotions deeply ( even if she didn’t always express them).

Delia

- Athletic and spunky

- Delia enjoyed more structured sports.

- She was prone to sunburns.

- Delia was enamored with the sun and light. She would hang prisms next to her windows to watch the light refract.

- She was closest with her twin, Edeline. They enjoyed playing croquet together and (though it was usually harmless) gossiping.

- Delia had a temper. She would deal with guilt afterwards if she lashed out at someone.

- Her emotional regulation issues came to light after her mother died.

- Delia dealt with a lot of guilt in general. She didn’t feel as put-together as her older sisters, or as carefree as the younger ones. She felt guilty for not fitting in, and expressed feeling like an inconvenience to those around her.

- Outsiders thought she was dim-witted, and she internalized this.

- Delia often had a problem of interrupting people or speaking loudly, so it was advised that she stay quiet when visitors came. This really hurt her self esteem, since she was always happy to make new friends.

- Rowena had offended her when she was a young girl, and Delia never forgot this.

- Delia liked birds, and hummingbirds fascinated her.

- She had to learn to accept herself later in life. 

- She discovered people who appreciated her for who she was, and finally left her inhibitions behind. 

- After that, she became known for her charisma and charm.

Edeline:

- Edeline shared a lot of interests with her twin, such as sports and outdoor activities.

- She enjoyed making others laugh.

- Once Genevieve married Derek, Edeline took it as her cue to BULLY that poor man.

- Seriously, it probably warded off suitors for her other sisters.

- It was usually in good fun, though.

- Edeline disliked rules and structure.

- She was closest with Delia.

- She often stood up for her twin.

- Edeline had a good ear for gossip, and had her own methods of fact checking stories she’d heard.

- Something happened with her at Genevieve’s wedding?? Maybe she broke something??

- Edeline traveled some, but found her way back home eventually.

- She DESPISED Rowena. None of the sisters liked her, but Edeline couldn’t stand her from the beginning.

- Edeline would have loved to know about the concept of roast humor.

- She liked to have sleepover-like setups in their bedroom. She would build forts and encourage the others to come tell ghost stories. When the memories of her mother came to her, she felt the need to DO something, even if the action wasn’t necessarily related.

- She became known for her humor.

Fallon

- Fallon was pretty much independent, until she and Courtney bonded.

- Fallon always wanted pets, and was jealous that only Genevieve was allowed to have one (besides....bugs and the horses, who were kept outside).

- She would try to befriend wild animals, and nursed some injured animals back to health.

- I don’t think Fallon was straight.

- Fallon was sensitive, and had a hard time dealing with Rowena’s harsh treatment.

- Fallon had nightmares, and would often go to her older sisters for comfort.

- She enjoyed the company of others. She would spend time with servants and other people considered to be below her station.

- Fallon played the harp.

- She loved the softer aspects of life. 

- She devoted time to charitable causes.

- I just know that she did that classic princess trope of posing as a commoner. That’s such a her thing to do.

- She gained a reputation for being eccentrically kind. She had a large family of animals, who she took EXCELLENT care of.

Genevieve

- You may have noticed that the older sisters were generally closer with each other. Well, Genevieve wasn’t, and she made it that way.

- She.... liked to act like she was in charge. She often undermined Ashlyn’s efforts.

- She was Randolph’s favorite.

- Genevieve got along better with the younger sisters, especially Lacey.

- She probably did have leadership skills, but a lot of them came from acting like she did.

- Like I’ve implied above, she got a lot of power after she married, instead of Ashlyn.

- Derek wasn’t a bad person, but he was a COBBLER. How did she get more political power by marrying a COBBLER?

- She butted heads with Blair and Courtney quite often after the events of the movie.

- Basically, she had Main Character Disease dsfghjk

- She traveled less than the other older sisters.

- Admittedly, she wasn’t a poor leader.

- I have a feeling she adopted a lot of children later in life.

- She and Derek had a pretty long transitional period after they married, meaning they spent more time really figuring out who they were as a couple rather than jumping into their duties right away.

- Genevieve kind of symbolized the cutoff for the sisters who had lots of solid memories about their mother and those who didn’t.

- She was one of the best dancers out of the sisters.

- She was brave and self-assured.

- She knew what she wanted, and she would get it.

- After Twyla, she got some other cats. They were mostly orange and/or long haired.

- She never quite shook her habit of being late.

Hadley

- Hadley was closest to their twin, Isla.

- As Hadley grew up, they became more comfortable being gender nonconforming. They may have been trans, but I don’t remember.

- Hadley enjoyed fencing.

- Stilts were Hadley’s first love, and led to appreciation for other daring activities.

- Hadley also loved the ocean. Many of their adventures involved being at sea. They spent years sailing longside their twin on a ship Genevieve gifted them.

- Rumors swirled that they were a pirate. Though these weren’t true, Hadley didn’t mind.

- Hadley was energetic and intuitive.

- Hadley was an athletic risk-taker. They enjoyed acrobatics and other feats of the human body.

- Hadley became known for their adventurous exploits and fencing prowess.

- Though Hadley initially idolized Genevieve, she eventually sided with Ashlyn and the other older sisters once she learned the whole story.

- Hadley stayed with the older sisters after whatever scary thing happened with Courtney.

- Hadley mentored people, and may have been a teacher.

- She really missed the times when all of their sisters got along.

- There were rumors that Hadley was affiliated with darker forces, when in reality Hadley was one of the most well-adjusted.

Isla

- Isla was closest to Hadley.

- Isla liked adventure, but she was less daring than Hadley.

- Isla stayed our of most business involving the older sisters, preferring to spend time with her twin.

- She loved swimming.

- Isla had a collection of maps.

- She was known for being easy going. 

- She sometimes had to bring Hadley down from an idea that seemed too dangerous.

- Isla was the voice of reason in some situations.

- She never lost her passion for dance, and learned new styles through their travels.

- Isla had pet birds.

- She was admired for her grace and acrobatic talent.

- Isla enjoyed circus-like acts.

- She was more bothered by the pirate rumors than Hadley.

- Isla enjoyed researching magic, and trying to find a way back to the magic pavilion. 

- Isla was non-confrontational.

- She tried many forms of artistic expression, from writing to painting.

- Isla was loyal to Hadley, and would be there for her twin no matter what.

Janessa

- Janessa maintained her love of insects.

- Since they were so young when it happened, none of the triplets remember details of the magic pavilion. If their sisters weren’t there to confirm their memories, they would have thought it was a dream.

- Janessa grew up to be very interested in science.

- Janessa found the proper way to care for insects, and took pride in how well she did it.

- She was prone to worrying.

- She often lamented the fact that she was so young when they visited the pavilion.

- Janessa was considered obedient and passive.

- Janessa heard how much she looked like her mother (though not as much as Ashlyn). She had mixed feelings about this, because she couldn’t really remember what her mother looked like.

- Janessa was closest to Kathleen.

- She became close with Edeline and Delia when she got older.

- Janessa knew she wasn’t Randolph’s favorite, and took this personally. She tried, especially in her youth, to gain his approval.

- She also knew that Genevieve preferred Lacey, even though all the triplets looked up to Genevieve.

- Janessa balanced her love for science with her royal duties, and used what power she had to provide exposure and resources to research institutes.

Kathleen

- Kathleen was creative and unconventional.

- She was closest with Janessa, and became close with Isla later in life.

- Kathleen was known for her paintings.

- She started out painting things like landscapes, then moved into less traditional subjects.

- Her royal portraits were renowned in particular. They captured royalty doing activities that were important to them, or in significant fantasy settings.

- She painted portraits of her siblings and father. These became their favorites. She captured: a relaxed Ashlyn writing music, Blair on horseback in mid-air, Courtney in her library, Delia in the sunlight, Edeline in a fantastical outdoor scene, Fallon with her animals, Genevieve dancing, Hadley fencing, Isla swimming, Janessa surrounded by flying insects in the sky, and Lacey at work.

- Though she tried many times, Kathleen was not satisfied with her attempts of painting her mother. She felt like she was simply copying pre-existing portraits.

- The only painting of her mother she was somewhat pleased with was one of Queen Isabella walking away, her back to the viewer as she walked into a golden pavilion.

- Kathleen tried to paint the magic pavilion, and these painting had a fuzzy, dream-like quality.

- Her art gained a significant following.

Lacey

- She was Randolph’s second favorite.

-Lacey was unshakably loyal to Genevieve. She didn’t understand why the older sisters were upset about her being given power and land.

- Lacey struggled with illness as a child. She was inspired by the healing water at the pavilion to study medicine.

- Lacey struggled with muscle strength and coordination well into adulthood.

- Despite this, she continued dancing.

- She looked very similar to Randolph’s relatives.

- She felt the need to defend Genevieve, and would often challenge her older sisters because of this.

- Although Ashlyn never challenged her, Lacey harbored resentment towards her. She blamed Ashlyn for the fact that Genevieve’s approval wasn’t universal.

- Lacey was interested in scientifically based medicine, as well as magical remedies.

- Lacey was always closest with Genevieve, and lived with her for a long time.

- Lacey idolized Genevieve and Derek’s relationship, often heralding it as the pinnacle of romance.

- She searched for a way back to the magical world, believing it contained the key to eternal youth and immortality.

- Lacey didn’t care for travel as much as some of her sisters, but she usually enjoyed when she did leave her own kingdom.

- She grew up to be Genevieve’s closest adviser, and an accomplished healer.

Canon Noncompliant Things

- The sisters left the pavilion by dancing in birth order. Although Derek did leave by dancing with Genevieve, they weren’t responsible for leaving in the first place. Once again, Ashlyn doesn’t get the credit she deserves dfghjk

- Genevieve had an actual wedding, not whatever that was that was shown at the end of the movie. It was smaller than a lot of royal weddings (because Derek didn’t have many connections or people to invite), but it was a serious affair. 

[kashuan]

All right, there are quite a few things that come to mind with a question as broad as this, so here’s my best attempt to sum up what character design means to me in like 5 minutes :,D. I’m going to start with a few very quick sketches that talk about more my general approach to drawing, but I’m going to build up to how it all connects with character.

Step 1) Find reference! Whenever you can, use reference, it will always make your character’s posing look 100 times more genuine than anything you can pull from your brain, and that’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s not cheating because we’re not stopping at Step 2 either, which is where the misnomer comes in that you’re just ‘copying’ (protip: even step 2 isn’t a straight Copy; as long as you’re not tracing, you’re not copying, and even tracing has its uses for personal studies). I could do a whole answer of it’s own about picking your reference, but I’ll keep it short by saying: not every reference will fit every character. Keep in mind your character’s attitude when choosing your ref. Some poses are so generic they’re one size fits all, but even this very simple pose has unique character to it. The way the legs are posed, to me, gives it a young and girlish feeling, and depending how you played with the expression, you could even make it come off shy. An overbearingly confident character, while also taking an arms crossed pose, will likely position their legs differently, assuming a stance that takes up more space, etc.

Step 2) Draw pretty much exactly what you see first, but keep it simple. Think of the body like individual shapes; anatomy is not the focus right now, and you’ll actually hinder yourself if you hone in on that first. What you want to do at this stage is capture what the pose is generally doing; character isn’t involved yet Step 3) Now, working off 2′s framework, start considering body type. If you skip the previous step, you might have a hard time capturing the gesture correctly, since it’s a lot for your brain to juggle at once. When I sketched these two different body types, I built it straight off the first drawing, erasing lines as needed.

So the first image includes some extremely basic body type variations, this one pushes that idea further. 1 is the basic frame from the last image, while 2 is about playing with proportions. There are a lot of ways you can play with proportions, and as I’ll come to sound like a broken record about: make those decisions thoughtfully. For example, when I made this version shorter than the reference base, I had to consider exactly where I wanted her to lose that height. Here, I made her shorter waisted, took a little length from the legs, and gave her a squatter neck as well. You can do one of these or all of them. Just keep in mind those are all individual options. Letting your train of thought stop at ‘this character is short/tall so I’m just going to generally shrink/stretch their body’ means you’ll run out of variety pretty fast, and sometimes the overall proportions can end up looking wonky (though there’s always exceptions to the rule, remember that the individual body parts should remain correctly scaled in relation to each other). Image 3 is another approach to proportional manipulation, except rather than focusing on height, it focuses on fat distribution and to a lesser extent bone structure. Again, there’s so many individual places you can focus on here, make sure to mix them up. Arm size, shoulder broadness, chest and hip size, leg thickness and musculature, foot and hand size and so forth.   Image 4 is a further exaggeration of image 3 and the lines have started to get a little more stylized. While image 3 is still reasonably realistic, 4 is just starting to cross into cartoon territory. Advantage of 4 is that when you are able to push the proportions further due to the leniency of style, you can sell a clearer idea and a clearer character. Downside is, well, it looks more cartoonish now, and depending on the needs of your image that might not be what you want ie: it can look like a mistake rather than a purposeful choice if everyone else around the character is drawn more realistically.

Also… I see variations on this general advice quite a lot for women, but don’t forget about doing the same for men. It’s great to see how eager a lot of artists are to experiment with the female form that is simply absent in a lot of mainstream media, but I find that men really tend to fall by the wayside here even though they often get equally shallow treatment in the mainstream. There’s usually like 2-3 ‘go-to’ body types for men and that’s it. Men’s bodies can have the exact same amount of variety as a woman’s, including the individual ways the fat can be distributed on it, and the assorted ways their proportions can be played with. Whenever I find an artist that does this it’s like striking gold to me tbh. 

So there’s some very rough hows. But, perhaps even more importantly than any of that, is WHY you make these choices. This is going to get a little stream of consciousness, but with a question this broad, I tried to hit on as many general points I could think of in regard to my own process.

-When I start to design a character, I really need to have an understanding of them first. This includes things like backstory, personality, habits, so and so forth… Yes, all of this stuff shows up in their design, even if it’s just a drawing of them standing straight up. This isn’t just like ‘this character got this scar at age 7 so I need to know where it goes′, I mean in depth info about them. I touched on this a little bit earlier, bringing up the different ways a character would assume the same general pose, but let me expand on that. -What do I mean by personality? So there’s the most obvious answer, which is that a bubbly character will assume bubbly poses, a sullen character will slouch more, etc… But let’s take it further than that. This is a concept I’ve touched on in past tutorials, but here’s a quick recap. A character’s personality involves their opinions, for one; how do you make that show up in their design? Well, one of the most obvious questions I always ask myself is: what is their opinion on their own appearance (the thing we are drawing)/how do they want to be perceived by others? Consider a strong character. I see a lot of artists who take this thought as far as: okay, this character is strong, so I’m gonna throw a 6 pack on him, maybe a nice pair of guns, and call it a day. Which leads to like, nice art, but also...kind of bland? I think that’s because this is a rather half-baked approach. How can we take it further? Ask yourself more specific questions. Is your strong character concerned with being perceived as an ‘ideal’ sort of fit by others (the type you give that showy 6 pack to) or does that not matter to them? (more likely to look ‘chubby’ if not outright fat, though probably is just as if not more capable of actually doing some real heavy lifting than saran wrapped abs man). If they’re some kind of mystical being that can look like whatever they want (ie: the anime waif that can also lift 1000 lbs-trope), you should still take into account their personal perspective on appearance. Don’t just stop at ‘this guy/girl is strong so they’ll look super shredded’ or ‘they’re magic so I’ll do whatever’. Doing this, you’ve instantly lost a chance to inform the audience more about the individual there beyond ‘they’re strong’ -Break it down further with their habits. What is their daily life like? If they’re running ten miles every day they should probably have some strong looking legs. If their job involves a lot of lifting, maybe focus on the upper body more and leave the legs less defined. Do they eat a lot? Or drink? The way the fat distributes in both these cases will be noticeably different (and this isn’t even taking into account points like an endomorph vs an ectomorphs body, which I always suggest reading up on). I’d definitely recommend drawing as many different body types as you can just as studies, in order to add these variations to your mental library. I’m sure every artist has seen this popular athlete line up by now, but really study images like this. Don’t just mindlessly copy what you see when you create your own characters though; think about why those athletes have the bodies they have, what they specifically did to get them like that, and how that can apply to your character’s own life. -One thing that has always bothered me is how often artists are afraid to use the head (not the features; I’ll get to that in a second) as an extension of the body when it comes to imbuing it with variety and character. While it is absolutely possible to have a thin face and a fat body (as is any combo), it’s another missed opportunity not to experiment with chubby cheeks, a soft jawline, etc. It’s a cliche to mention him at this point as an inspiration, but one of my very favorite things about Mucha’s art was how he was able to make fuller faces look so beautiful despite being a rather nontraditional approach (so many art books try to tell you this is a big NO). example, example. These faces actually look like real individuals to me than a drawing that focuses too hard on being generically aesthetically pleasing. -So, facial features. A face with less traditional features isn’t just going to be more memorable than Stock Beautiful Face #73, but it’s basically a more zoomed in version of informing the audience about the character in the same way the body does. -Know tropes, play with tropes, do not rely on tropes. Sunken bone structure, long features-guy will always pretty much read like a villain (or at least someone off-putting), but find somewhere to make the formula your own. Give him thicker eyebrows or big ears. Give the girl with the standard doll-face a nose that sticks out a little more prominently or a crooked smile. -Speaking of are so many different ways to draw a smile, do not underestimate the mileage you can get out of this one feature alone. Artists tend to have a favorite way to draw smiles, in my experience, but remember your character. Would they have a big toothy grin, a handsome ‘cool’ looking smile, a small shy lopsided one, ones that touch the eyes, ones that don’t… This is probably a repetitive point by now but just do whatever you can not to draw the exact same feature on two different characters, and make sure to think through your reasoning for every choice you make. To me, it’s always immediately evident if an artist really knows their character or if they’re just trying to make something aesthetically pleasing. The former is always more attention grabbing in my opinion. -One of my favorite things to consider when designing a character who’s part of a family: genetics and how you can play with them to inform the audience more about the character’s story. Does this character take after their mother or father? How? Why? Why why, you might ask? This isn’t a photo of a real person, this is an illustration that you should be making deliberate choices about every step along the way. It’s one thing to draw a character that looks like their parent simply because logic dictates they should, another to make meaningful decisions as to where and why they do. Some examples: He has his father’s eyes because they carry the same intensity and other characters are a little put off by him because it (conversely, maybe he’s such a gentle character that this detail stands out twice as strongly). He has the same hair as his father, but he styles it differently to avoid the association. She has her mother’s nose which everyone compliments her on so shes happy to be seen in profile. She has her father’s broad shoulders and she’s a little self conscious about it so she tends to wear baggier clothing. Etc etc! In all these cases, you can communicate these details through even a simple drawing of the character standing alone, and should try to as often as you can. -In the end, the only way you’re going to know how to draw all these different details, whether they be different body types or different facial features, is by studying real people. Draw as many different kinds as you can, add them to your mental library. Your reference will never give you everything you need to work it, and I’m not sure if that’s maybe what this question as getting at-- if I have a reference folder of go-to ‘types’ or something. I don’t. I have a folder of poses labeled with characters I think they’d fit, and that’s about it. If you’re just imitating what you see in a photo, you’ll always be drawing That Person, not Your Character. So you are going to have to pull some of it out of your brain. Note, however, the important difference between just ‘making it up’ and recalling information you’ve studied in the past. That said, while on this last topic of expanding your mental library, that includes not just doing studies, but also learning and observing the ways other accomplished artists work. Here are some of my book recommendations when it comes to those which have most helped me in regard to this particular subject. This includes books that specifically tell you how to vary your body types, but also ones that just have a lot of examples of different kinds: Morpho: Anatomy for Artists Morpho: Fat and Skin Folds Famous Artists School Course in Illustration and Design (If anyone is interested in this one and has trouble finding a non $500 copy, hit me up and I’ll help you out) Spirit of the Pose Anatomy Lessons from the Great Masters Drawing People: How to Portray the Clothed Figure Figures from Life (my favorite currently; not the most varied array of figures but he goes in depth on how to successfully grow an academic study of a model into an illustration influenced by your own ideas and personal style) If you found this answer helpful, although it isn’t specifically about character design, I go a little more in depth about some of the topics I briefly covered here (such as choosing the right reference, good vs bad reference in general, honing in on shapes, pushing the pose, etc) in this short book of mine :>

[popculturebuffet]

The Loud House Reviews: The Boss Maybe/ Family Bonding

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Loud House weekly coverage continues as Leni is pushed into the deep end of responsiblity and taking over Lori’s old role of babysitter while her parents are gone and promptly drowns in a sea of comedy clubs, human body parts both on screen and in the fridge, old men in holes and indoor beach volley ball. 

First things first: Last week I forgot to mention Rusty’s mustache freezing off as god, wether it be the judeo-christian god, Odin, that prick Zeus, the flying spagehtti monster or one of many other gods out there. Perhaps all of them did it at once out of hatred for the little weiner. Maybe one of them finally answered my prayers which in that case, that was nice and all but there are far worse things going on i’d prefer you took care of. Also the “stuff I couldn’t fathom” turned out to be just more loudcest, because of course it did. Loudcest is like David Spade, you think it’s finally gone or isn’t doing as much but then it comes around and makes the wrong missy and you waste 90 minutes of your life thinking i’td be so bad it’s good when it’s really just boring and a waste of it’s main actress talent. I lost track of that metaphor, but Loudcest is like david spade in that people like it for reasons I can’t fathom and it hasn’t quietly faded into the background for reasons I can’t fathom, though at least david spade was funny once. So maybe Loudcest isn’t like david spade. or maybe i’ve been taking too long with this bit. 

But whlie last week was a bit wonky it also had a lot to setup.. but now it’s time to see what the show does with all the setup over, and a lot of new possiblities ahead. PItter Patter!

The Boss Maybe Ah now this is exactly what I was hoping for this season. New situations brought about by the year-up and all the changes it brought, with the same old heart and humor and character progression that drew me back into the show. This is the kind of episode i love and have talked about in the past and dosen’t fall into any of the shows usual pitfalls in the process. Just great. I could end it there but I haven’t shut up before why do it now.  So this episode focuses on Leni who I talked about a bit last week and easily had the best plot and in general tends to have good episodes, both before and after the show became an ensemble piece, and even in episodes without her tends to slide in just fine. She’s always a nice breath of fresh air when she shows up. 

I think that’s due to a number of things. For one it’s how sweet a person she is: She’s genuinely nice, kind and well meaning. While she is dumb as a box of rocks that resemble Pauly Shore, what I like is her stupidity isn’t malicious, or overused for misery. She causes comical injuries from time to time with it but she’s quick to apologize iff she realises it and usualyly has no ill will to anybody unless provoked or fighting Lori over a dress despite them wearing the same clothes all the time. I know standard animation thing but it’s always weird to me when shows with a stock outfit for a character have a fashionista, and prefer when shows have stylish characters actually change outfits like Kim Possible did with it’s title character, Xiaolin Showdown did with Kimiko and of all things LIttlest Petshop did with Blythe. Granted Blythe is a nothing of a character but still, credit where it’s due. But I do get this is also a nick show and they givet hem the budget of 50 cents and a network memo that says “BEG US FOR MORE MONEY” written in blood, so fair enough. 

That aside she’s just plesant to watch. The other factor is Liliana Mumy. If you haven’t heard of her , she’s a vetran voice actress whose been doing this on and off since she was a kid, voicing Panini on chowder as a child and later going on to voice Beth in bravest warriors among other roles. Why she only does work so ocasionaly I have no idea but when she does she’s great. She’s also the son of fellow child actor BIll Mumy, aka the guy who as a kid played Anthony Fremont from the Twilight Zone classic “It’s A Good Life”, which if you haven’t seen it is about a small child who has the power of a god and thus can banish people who are “bad”, i.e. disobey him and thus rules over a small town as a creepy and cruel despot. Oh and he can read minds so if you dare to have a thought he dosen’t like your getting banished, with no telling what that means or where anyone disappeared goes. It’s good stuff. Highly recommend it, Mumy is absolutley terrifing and a brilliant actor even at that age and I wish he’d done more as an adult. I also bring it up because Lily played his daughter when they did a sequel episode during the UPN version of the show, set decades later and showing just what the little terror was like grown up... as well as what happens when his DAUGHTER gets the power. It was also really good and worth a watch after the first one. Good stuff. 

TLDR: Leni is one of my faviorites, so’s her voice actress, i’ve rambled enough about unrelated stuff at this point. 

We open at the mall, where for Leni life begins after schol, that’s when we bend all the rules time to hang with all her friends in the place where she belongs!

I mean technically she’s 17 now, but she was 16 when she started this job and none of them were 16 by the time the show ended so nyeh. This started in season 3 when the show started giving the girls not just their own stories but their own supporting casts., storylines, love intrests etc. Luna and Luaan got their romance plots with Sam and Benny, Lori got her college plot towards the end of the season, Lynn’s friends started showing up in her plots more, Luna’s mortuariy club went from assorted background friends of hers to a full fleged supporting crew, and of course Lincoln’s friend group started to become a recurring part of his plots away from his sisters. 

For Leni, being one of the only three kids that could legally work at the time, another possible plot to dig into, and with Luna having way less incentive to get a 9-5 job with her music to work on and the fact we’ve seen her use said music to make money once in a blue moon, Leni was a good choice. It gave her something she was good at besides fashion, even if it’s fashion adjacent and gave us a new supporting cast for those stories: Her boss Mrs. Redinger, your standard “i’m tough by fair” type, and her new friends Fiona and Miguel, two fellow fashion savy teens played by actors i’d never heard of but who do a damn good job and play off her well, with both being a bit sarcastic but Fiona being a bit more mopey and deadpan and Miguel being a possibly but defintely gay teen. Both play off her well by being more down to earth and more wiling to be negative, but still enjoyable enough to be around you can buy them being friends with Leni and their a stellar addition to the cast. I wish, much like we’ve gotten with Liam lately, we could see more of them outside leni stories. Their a treat. 

But I really like Leni’s work there. Besides the cast it puts Leni in a role of responsiblity she excels at. My only real problem is her boyfriend, maybe I dunno, Chaz, one of the ONLY love intrests from l is for love to get mentioned again and one of the more intresting ones, never shows up despite also working at hte mall and the story potetial of them working for rival stores or the same store. I mean I can’t blame them for not throwing another love intrest on the pile when they had two ongoing romance plots, but now both Luna and Luann are on steady ground with their steadies, it’s time to pull that trigger, get off hte ground and eat that horse. Also let LIncoln have one again will ya? It dosen’t have to be stella but Girl Jordan is right there, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again.. where is she. And if not her just make one you’ve proven to actually be really good at it. 

Where was I? Ah yes the mall. Leni is doing great at her job, suggesting some gloves to scoots, who ceases being skeptical when a hunky younger man of 30 something compliments her on them them chases off after him. If you don’t remember who scoots was that’s the old lady on a scooter who makes troulbe and appareltly can still get it. Good for her. Granted this is coming from someone who ships eda and stan pines still even though it’s now revealed she’s 30 but... frankly I don’t think age is a concern with her and stan can make this joke, so it evens out. 

I mean he would right? I”m getting off topic even more than usual, point is Leni is doing great and her boss takes her to the break room for cake room... it’s just the one cake but can you imagine a cake room? that’s the life. Just a fridgerated room full of cake. 

Turns out she’s EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. And she didn’t have to chain squidward to an ancient battle ship to get it or anything. After some confusion, Fiona has to clarify it’s NOT her birthday because of course she does, Leni is proud. Full of cake and pride she tells her mom whose decided to reward her good job at work.. by dumping a bunch of respnosiblity on her.  I kid. Rita is being somewhat resonable here. She asks Leni to take over Lori’s old role of babysitting/making sure the other 10, now 9 kids don’t burn the house down... no really she actually specifies that when leaving in the next scene. Which.. fair enough.. you have 11 kids, all likely to plug in a lot of stuff especially Luna and Lisa, said Lisa is a mad scientest who ends up nearly being the one to do it this time, Lynn has no common sense, and the younger ones who aren’t mad scientst are still reckless and vain and combattive respectivley so the odds of a house fire nearly breaking out on any given night are 1:1. But Leni in a show of self doubt that’s rare for her is scared (Though her revealing that by answering a question of how she’d feel about about babysitting the kids with “Scared” was fucking gold. I swear Lily’s deliveries are always so great. ), and while Rita assures her she’s not sure. But as I said, she is being resonable: While Leni’s not the brightest she’s kind, she’s been shown even before her recent major award she’s responsible, she’s babysat for other people’s kids, and she’s kind. I mean they COULD put Luna or Luaan in charge but while when I first read the preview blurb for this episode I was cuirous why they didn’t think of that or thought they would, this episode does a good job presenting WHY they’d do it, while other episodes fill in the gaps: Luna is a bit reckless and Luaan can get caught up in her bidness and as we know once a week goes through the green door and comes out a gamma monster fuled by the sound of her own laughter, a horrible mixture of the joker and madman.. the leader’s insane brother. I’m a huge nerd, you all know this. Leni is the right choice.

Despite her nerves Leni has little choice but to take it on and Mr. Loud proudly sees her out with ye olde english as he and Rita, with lily in a cute little knight’s helmet in tow, are going to a renisance fair to cater, with Lynn Sr needing the backup. And while you may say “what about his staff”.. their either going with and he just needs an extra pair of hands since it’ll be nuts, or some of them are staying behind to man Lynn’s Table while he’s out on his catering gig. I mean the man has plenty of time for his kids, he’s not at the restraunt 24 hours a day. Someone else has to run it when he’s gone. I asked internally why they didn’t just take them along.. then reminded myself that taking all 11 kids to the faire at once, without anyone to watch them and likely having to call in favors when jsuta s likely, Lynn Sr and Rita can take them all another day with presumibly free passes as part of the catering job as that sounds like the kinda thing he’d do. Also Senior’s into scarf’s now thanks to Leni, which I love. Looks good on him. Hank should give her a call. Ascots may be out but I think he could rock a scarf. I’ve had ventures on the brain.  What follows is naturally Leni having several panic attacks as chaos naturally insues btu without Lori’s lifetime of experince dealing with it. IT’s a nice dynamic: Leni, as we’ve established, has always been sort of Lori’s sidekick, her best friend, her amigo. Sure they fight, siblings do that, but they’ll always be there for each other when it counts. SHe’s never really had to THINK without her or be without her, so throwing her into the deep end of taking care of the kids really leaves her shook. It’s a HARD job, it’s probably why the louds don’t bring in babysitters often: there are 11 kids to look after, 10 now and only 9 tonight but still a LOT of them and most of htem pretty high maintince. It was just easier with Lori because she grew up knowing each of them, knowing each of their weaknesses and putting the fear of her righteous wrath into them. They’ve spent their whole lives looking up to her, literally and figuratvely, as their big sister and respecting her as the biggest authority in the house that’s nto her parents, sometimes bigger. Those aren’t just big shoes to fill , their Galactus size and that combined with her big sister worship leaves Leni understandably scared, lost and frequently paralized with anxiety this episode.  No really multiple times she just freezes and one times she screams. As someone with Anxiety disorder I related to this.. sometimes you either just break down or you just FREEZE from the stress and everything hitting you at once and have no idea how to progress while people are still barking at you to do something. It’s a lot but it was a nice touch that really added to her sympathy.   And her anxiety is also understandable when she’s being hit with 80 problems at once, which i’ll tackle all at once here rather than in order as this episode has a really frentic and good pace: while it follows the formula of “Leni runs into a problem, Leni freezes, then Leni gets help from Lori twice hten mr.grouse, more on that in am inute”, the quick pace and great jokes help keep things from feeling too repetivie. 

Anyways the chaos: Just from the start Lucy puts a possibly human liver in the fridge, Lana eats all the cookies then gets skunked by her pet skun, and Lola and Lynn get into a fight over 5 bucks Lynn found, and since Leni can’t just let one kill the other as nature intended she has to fix all this.. mostly by removing the smell with tomato juice and scaring off the skunk and cutting the dolar bill in half. Money dosen’t work that way as both sisters point out but frankly it’s Lola and Lynn, I don’t care who they feel. 

Meanwhile two of my other faviorties get into a tiff over their room: Luaan turns it into a comedy club and kicks luna out, with Scoots and her new man returning. Again, get it girl, get it, and Leni, under Lori’s advice, pretneding to be a fire marshall.. only for Luna towarsd the end to turn it into her own rock club. Lisa creates a corossive super substance that burns a hole in the floor, Lana continues to grapple with the skunk and finally Lincoln and Clyde.. watch a scary movie despite Lucy’s warnings.. and Lucy does something else.. I think? It was a chaotic episode with a lot of set pieces so forgive me if I forgot one of them. Honestly she’s the most well behaved there.But yeah as per the cliche Lincoln and Clyde, after Leni gets the wifi fixed with Mr. Grouse’s help, they get super scared and freaked. Everyomne is freaking, the house is falling apart and Senior wants permission to wear a pinky ring via thought cloud.. which.. no man no. Scarves yes but no one looks good with a pinky ring. No one. And I say that as amporphous blob covered in hair, sweat and regrets. 

As for how Leni deals with all this she leans on Lori, calling her twice, but at inportune times: during a golf game and at the library where said phone gets taken. Granted, I don’t get why she didn’t have it on silent, as I would in those situations, but then we wouldn’t have an excuse to include her and it feels necessary to show WHY Lori can’t just help all night or reassure her sister and with Lori gone the panic only intensifies. As I said she gets paralized with fear and later just outright screams.. which attracts an irate Mr Grouse, the next door neighbor who I need to watch more of’s episodes. Including 12 louds of leapin.. I know i’m way overdue on that. This december. Promise. 

The old man who yells at Louds helps for a bit, helping get rid of a beach Lynn set up because she’s lynn, she has the consderation of a puppy, but eventually falls in a hole like most great heroes and most elderly people. I mean the ones up the street at the retierment home must fall in once a week. They get out of course because the assitant living mole lets them ride out as it digs into the walls. Or maybe that was just a hallucination.  Eventually though the start at her job comes back as she calls the only people she has left for help: Fiona and Miguel, who are at the mall in chairs because of courser they are, and both are confused why she’s so helpless: She’s fantastic at work, she’s kind, confident and smart.. about certain things, she can do this. Besides helping her confidence with this really sweet moment they also give her a good tool for how to use said confdience from work: just treat her siblings as customers. It’s also a nice call back to how we’ve seen Leni learn way back in season 1 during “Driving Miss Hazy” we’ve seen that she can have troulble grasping things, but when you put it in terms she understands, like fashion, or shopping, or in this case helping customers with their issues, she snaps into it. She learns at her own pace in her own way, it’s why I think sh’es neurotypical, and possibly ont he spectrum like yours truly: while her stupidity isn’t part of that the unqiue way she processes things has me supscious. either way it works. 

So with a new strategy Leni.. literally adresses them like shoppers, which is comedy gold. However it’s a valid strategy:  besides the visualation part by getting them to form a line, instead of trying to handle 2 or 3 problems at once she simply handles them one at a time: She scares the skunk off again, shuts down both competing clubs in the older kids room, uses water to take out lisa’s universal solvant, gives Lola and Lynn 5 bucks instead of just cutting a ten in half this time, and in the sweetest moment of the episode, reads Clyde and Lincoln a childrens book to clam them down. Sure it’s  a bit funny but their genuine relief and all threes adorable expressions really melt the heart. 

Leni finally wins, just as her parents get home and congradulate her, Rita’s faith not misplaced. While Rita probably knew it’d be an adjustment, and frankly should’ve prepped her sooner, she knows her daughter and knows waht sh’es caapable of. Also Senior brought home meet and gives leni a turkey leg who gives it to the old man who now lives in a hole inside their house. That’s his home now. Mr Grouse is just there now. Or I wish he was. But I guess you can’t always get what you want epsecially if it’s an old man living in a hole in the loud’s living room. Someday.  Final thoughts for The Boss Maybe: As you could easily tell I loved this one. Funny with a hell of an emotional core, and with great pacing espeially for a loud house episode, this was a joy to watch and easily one of the best episodes the show has done. Just a funny, breezy watch with a lot of subtext, intetional or not, regarding what we’ve seen of Leni and honestly i’m going to go with intetional. It felt really rooted in who Leni is, her relationship with lori, and her work without hitting you over the head with it. It just all flowed really well and made for a hard one to top for the season this early. I’m impressed and it gives me hope for the rest of the season. 

Family Bonding

This one was.. okay. As i’ve learned the hard way from doing Amphibia when an episodes just okay it’s best to breeze through it.. but I can give it this. While it’s mostly a standard loud house episode the ending.. wasn’t predictable. That’s for sure. I mean.. it left me with only one thought really...

But i’m getting ahead of myself. The episode’s plot is standard for the most part: Lincoln’s obessed with a new spy comic book about a james bond expy.. okay so that’s what Sterling Archer did besides physical therapy for the three months between his waking up and Season 11.  Anyways they soon get more exciting news from Lynn. New Neighbors! Before Rita can stop them, the rest of her family tramples over her and goes to make their aqunatince and of course be a bit overbaring with it before Rita rushes in with a spray bottle to spray them like a bad dog because frankly when your dealing with 11 people most of whom are really impuslive, sometimes dog training just works. You try raising eleven kids and see how long before your brain breaks.  Anyways after introductions and the mom turning down cherry pie, you monsters, lincoln sees strange flashing lights and a device and is convinced something is up and unable to convince his family and on a spy kick, recurits clyde. Now why he dosen’t call on Stella and Zach I dunno. And yes I said Zach and not my boy Liam. I have my reasons: Stella, besides being a faviorite of mine, is a tech whiz as shown in one of the comics and in the cookie episode, and Liam is already a paranoid conspiracy nut and as we’ve seen with Dale Gribble, they can be suprisingly useful. I mean Dale is not the best on common sense but he knows goverment bilaws in and out, is skilled with a gun or a bag of pocket sand, and has danny trejo’s octavio, whose basically danny but as hired muscle instead of a master actor, on speed dial. I mean we don’t know if Zach dosen’t have a danny trejo on speed dial or not. We never asked.  As for the other two while I love LIam, spying just dosen’t seem to be in his sizeable skill set and Rusty.. well rusty’s about as subtle as a man covered in screeching cats he glued to himself blowing an airhorn, while screaming the script to a micheal bay movie while doing the explosion noises himself.. which Rusty has probbbly done.  The real thing i’m getting at is I don’t get why, outside of Clyde and LIam, the writers think when LIncoln has an epiosde it either just needs ot be ClyncolnMcCloud or the ENTIRE group, when one or two would do the trick. YOu CAN seperate them out. People do hang out with diffrent friends at diffrent times. I know the show’s grasp on reality is tenous at best, we got to that last week with the whole one teacher for core classes thing with schooled and this week.. again we’ll get to it in a second, but friends DO hang out seperate. We saw each member of the Lincrew, minus stella because she didn’t exist yet, doing their own thing in Racing Hearts. It’s not that complicated. It’s hard to flesht hem out when their used as one solid unit and not unresonable to just use one or two. it’s a lesson I hope the show learns eventually and hope it’s sister show learns too. 

But yeah our dynamic duo spend the episode as youd’ expect; unraveling conspriacies and stalking the new family, though there are some funny bits. Besides Rita squirting her family like a cat or a dog, we have flip getting half his face shaved by a survelince drone and okay maybe just those two things. not bad bits, but the general concept of them roleplaying into mischief.. has been done before. The show’s done the detective bit before and the spy trappings really don’t change that. And you CAN do a good spy takeoff episode, this one just sin’t it and feels like your standard LIncoln and Clyde messaround with tuxedos. Which to be fair are pretty awesome but still. It’s pretty flat.  The climax though? I’ll give it this.. it’s pretty entertainngi if also 100% what exactly the fuck. So our heroes are naturally caught sneaking into the neighbors house and its eems they were wrong, etc etc, exactly what we expected the new kid will hang around.. at least we have a new character. Instead.. LIncoln accidently hits a knob and unveils a panel

So yeah... turns out the new family ARE spies, just for Peach Growers and plan to wipe out all cherries in royal woods. Yup.. look I know this universe is patently insane but even for loud house, even with all of lisa’s super science... even with the slapstick but this is just.. nuts. Like i’m fine with suspending my disbelif, this show is a goofy comedy, but this is a bit much. I LOVE it for being nuts but only in a “what on spagehtti monster’s green earth were you thinking”. I get swinging for the fences but Lincoln getting into a fight with a bunch of spies after playing spy, well beating them with slapsticks and stopping their plot to elmitie cherries..t his isn’t Kids Next Door. This just.. dosen’t work. Jeff Goldblum tell em why, my brains too broken to articulate this anymore

Yeah that. It’s just a weird climax and ends iwth LIncoln vetting the new neighbors.. which does it include girl jordon? Did they just write her out? If so why? Fans liked her, you can have more than one female character in Lincoln’s friend group. Zach is replacable. You can give me whatever the fuck this was, but not an intresting friend for him who has personality already. I get 50% chad but not your decision making. Gah. 

Final Thoughts for .. this. one This one really didn’t work. Besides the ending just not fitting the series specific brand of ludicrous, I mentioned KND for a reason as it made this sort of plot work fine by having it’s whole unvierse be really fucking weird and specific, it’s mostly just okay. We’ve seen this before.. well okay I haven’t watched many of the Lincoln and Clyde messarounds, but the formula’s about the same.  And that dosen’t work. For one you have a HUGE swath of new possiblities: A new school, Chandler coming back, new teachers and faculity, a new principal, and Lynn and LIncoln being in the same school, and you instead just.. retread the same crap. you have 4 of lincoln’s friends other than clyde to use but don’t let them in on the fun. And most agrivating to me you move new neighbors into the neighborhood while neglecting some of your old supporting cast and have them be villians of the week instead of adding someone NEW to the neighborhood. Give one of the other kids a new friend, or give lincoln a new friend to add to his group and replace liam, shake up the dynamic with him and clyde bya dding a third or, most obviously move one of his friends INTO the neighborhood, most obviously stella since you spent so much time building her up then have her addition affect Lincoln and Clyde. Sure we’ve had an episdoe of one of his friends getting in the way of them before, but this would be diffrent. This episode is just.. not great and was a waste of my time, espespcailly after following such a stellar episode. It’s probablyt he first genuinely bad episode i’ve covered on this blog. Now that probably won’t stand, i’ve seen genuiley worse but.. as a wise penguin once said. 

One last note. That Young Dylan graphic is really obnoxiou and obtrusive.  It’s the second most obnoxious thing i’ve seen on this network. 

I”m out for this week. If you want more check out my Amphibia reviews, as I just finished a new one today, my other loud house reviews in the newly minted nickelodeon tab or other stuff on my other tabs, send me an ask for reviews you’d like to see or pay me to review whatver you want for 5 bucks via direct message. And check this blog Monday for the return of weekly Ducktales coverage, and next weekend for the next episode of loud house, and throughotu the week for more reviews.  Until we meet again, GO TEAM VENTURE!. Play us out Mary Kate Wiles. If nothing else this episode let me use this song. 

[steve0discusses]

Live Action Fullmetal Alchemist Pt 2: Winry

OK, it appears tumblr will let me edit a draft again (yay!) So I can go ahead and quickly edit this post I made long ago, before this corona situation, when I was just...so happy...all of the time.

Anyway, it starts out with meeting a villain

So like, I don’t want to step on the toes of one of the biggest and most highly regarded fandoms but Lust wears more clothes than Envy and only seduced one idiot and yet her defining trait is that she’s Lust?

Just seems like she could’ve been more lusty.

And yeah she’s the first to die so it’s not like she had much time, but like, is she Lust just because she’s a lady with boobs? Boobs make you Lust? I see boobs every time I look in a mirror, and I’m pretty sure I’ve worn less clothes than lust on multiple occasions and I am a very prudish person. Whatever, that said, lets get to the good stuff, that’s right, it’s a train, this is what we’re all here for, step aside, Lust and your boobs, we want that good train action.

Damn look at that train. Look at that good train.

Last we left off, Al was cleaning up the mess Ed made, although I’m pretty sure in the anime, Ed could easily fix this stuff in like half a second. But in the movie, they removed that particular alchemy superpower and just kind of leave the town wrecked and go “sorry guys, we’re gonna just leave it like this so we can hold it over Ed later, sorry about the fruit stand. We gotta get realllll catty with my older brother.”

Which is when we introduce Winry.

So like...you can’t really tell from here but they decided to put rivets on everything Winry wears and that’s about all we have here to make her into the Winry I recognize, and that’s OK. It’s OK they stepped away from blonde. They were just so completely exhausted after how many times they had to stick Ed’s braid back on that they just...gave up. However, she is absolutely wearing fake bangs. Just throwing that out there, it’s not a bad look, and I’m a little jealous of them, but no one has bangs like that naturally, as a person who tried Zooey Deschenel bangs for 6 years.

And also--I got a comment on the last post that apparently a lot of Ed’s hair is REAL and they dyed it for the movie. I don’t know which parts exactly, I feel very suspicious of The Braid, but...that is so unfortunate.

So, lets see what Ed’s been up to, considering he left about 5 minutes ago.

(read more under the cut)

Yeah. Just don’t think about it. Maps don’t exist in this movie. It’s a little rough coming from the anime which was pretty map heavy, but this movie says “nah” to maps. This map doesn’t exist. The whole thing where they were making a big alchemy circle out of Amestris? Not a thing anymore, don’t think about it.

Ed and his substitute Dad, Roy Mustang, are too busy fighting about Ed’s only motivation in this movie. This scene happened in the anime as well, and it was sort of different, but again this movie has to abridge a hell ton of content so this is what we got.

Enter, Hughes.

So Hughes is great. Easily one of the best characters in the anime, who only exists just to die, and they made him just as likeable in this movie. This actor was clearly really jazzed to play a soon to be dead Hughes and he did a great job. Course, it’s a pretty wacky Hughes, but that’s fine, this is a weirdly wacky movie.

Also now this guy is here.

(and sorry to let you all down but Ed’s Real Dad or Ed’s Real Dad’s Clone does not even appear in this movie. I know. You might be wondering...so what else is left when you remove...all of that...don’t worry. We’ll get there.)

General Hakuro, I had to look up, because I had completely forgotten who this tool was. But it didn’t really matter, because in their attempt to shorten the anime, Hakuro ends up taking the part of like 10 other people in the original. I mean yeah, you gotta edit, but I just didn’t expect all those people to be played by the part of Hakuro.

No one expects the twists to be honest, it’s...it’s really freakin weird.

Anyways, at least we get to enjoy some Hughes time before he kicks it and this actor will absolutely get his Hughes fill out of every line because he knows he’ll be dead by Act 2. Ah Hughes, the worst spy. I love Hughes. This movie did such a good Hughes.

Listen I know that Winry and Ed are BELOVED. But like, I didn’t feel it in the anime. Be aware of my shipping immunity--I am sort of stone cold and I haven’t really shipped any fictional couples in my entire life. I have to really get sold on a ship to go for a ship, it’s just my weird superpower to be immune to shipping. I’m weird.

But I totally get that Ed and Winry are very beloved and so if you ship it, that’s wonderful. All ships are welcome here. However, this is a very different Ed and Winry dynamic. They’re actually attracted to each other from the get go and their dialogue is playful and they sync up really well like a married couple. And, they do all that without having Ed ignore her until she’s about to die and without any awkward underboob sequences (which was actually very funny in the anime, I’m not gonna lie). And again, this is entirely personal preference, but they do the bare minimum and it worked for me way better than the anime had in 50+ episodes.

Maybe it’s not for everyone, this, again, is just personal preference but...you do not need to torture your female protagonist to turn her into a romantic interest, you just have to have your characters romantically interested in each other. That’s really it. That’s the science. Yet, so many shows refuse to do the bare minimum.

Bear in mind, we also cover Yugioh here, so I might just be getting excited to actually cover a legit romance in a recap for once in my life that isn’t laced with so many bodies/cursed paper cards.

Also, while I make jokes about the sister vibes in the recap--the movie totally dropped any indication that they had been raised in the same house for a while (unlike the anime, which liked to remind you a lot).

Meanwhile, the General is having a really great conversation with himself and it’s like...all over the place. Maybe it was a translation error but this dialogue was kind of a mess.

props to this actor for doing a really good “Oh no she stabbed me through the head!” face. I imagine this face was half his audition. It’s good.

Anyways, as this guy gets eaten alive, Gluttony’s shadow reveals it has a hellton of teeth coming out of it’s stomach. I remember these teeth being a really neat reveal in the anime because it was like halfway through the series, but like, I think this movie kinda expects you to have already seen the anime, so they didn’t really bother hiding this.

Don’t worry we get to see real CGI teeth later and it is *bad*

By bad I mean really good.

Anyways, if you’re new here, I freakin love prop food and I will always take like a good minute to admire any food that is on set.

Like it’s pretty blurry but I’m pretty sure there’s two soups and two salads. Maybe they just decided to raid the actor’s buffet table for this scene but it’s just a really random assortment and also a really huge ass buffet for like 4 people since Al doesn’t eat.

Hughes’ cute girl was written out of the script but I don’t blame them because wow how many bad child actors do you need? That does mean we don’t get the sweet scene of Hughes pulling out his gun at a children’s birthday party, but this movie does have to end at some point so yes, the cute child antics got cut.

Much like moooooost of the people in this cast. At this point I’m just accepting it and moving forward.

Anyway, here’s a link you can click to read all of these in chrono order. There’s just 2 of them. I only have 2 left before I actually have to start watching this movie again so...hopefully by then I’ll...be better adjusted from this quarantine burn out I’ve been dealing with.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/FMA/chrono

[arecomicsevengood]

Quarantine Movie-Watching Journal, Continued

Throughout all this quarantine time I’ve been chronicling my watching movies, I’ve also been reading books, but have had assorted troubles on a level that seems close to basic comprehension, or just getting on their wavelength. Part of this is having a certain tendency towards the difficult or avant-garde in terms of what I think is “good,” but also wanting things to make sense or have a certain level of clarity: It’s maybe a difficult balance to strike but I don’t know, plenty of books pull it off, I have plenty of favorites. Nothing I’ve read recently has really been hitting, the only thing I’ve found compulsively readable is Virginie Despentes’ Vernon Subutex series, which I would hesitate to recommend as I also think they’re kind of bad. I want clarity on a certain level, and mystery on a deeper one; a lot of things essentially get the formula backwards, and feel incredibly obvious and free of ideas while employing obfuscatory language. (This isn’t to say I like “straightforward” prose, the “mystery” I’m referring to is basically created as an act of alchemy when language is functioning on its highest level, and insight, mood, imagery, and motion are all generated simultaneously. This isn’t “plain speech” I’m describing, but it doesn’t short-circuit the brain’s ability to make sense of it.)

In watching a lot of older movies I find that one of the things that help them maintain a level of interest is I possess a certain confusion about their cultural context. Even if something is a perfectly straightforward mainstream entertainment, there is still a sense of confusion or mystery about it, where you can follow it perfectly, but don’t necessarily know where it’s coming from, so it’s unclear where it’s going. In contrast, watching modern movies, especially more mainstream things but also, generally speaking, everything, I feel like not only do I know exactly where it’s coming from it’s also aggressively spelling everything out, as if to avoid moral confusion. This is also combined with a certain aggressiveness to the editing, so even as everything too fast-paced on certain level, it also ends up being too long, because it needs to fit in a certain level of redundancy. Older things tend to have a greater degree of storytelling clarity that’s also premised on a higher level of trust in the viewer’s ability to intuit things. Maybe there’s also a greater level of reliance on a set of semiotic devices that we’ve become more critical of over time, but what’s emerged in their absence feels more self-consciously insistent.

Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig

After watching this I looked up on IMDB to see what Gerwig is up to now and she’s slated to direct a Barbie movie? I hate this era, where success doesn’t lead to any actual clout to make important or interesting work, but instead forces artists into these traps of economic contract where they service a trademark. Also this movie is kind of weird because all these actresses are in their twenties but I think are meant to be playing teenagers for most of it? Or even younger? This movie basically feels like it is meant to be for children but is given this gloss over it to maybe seem appealing to young adult modern feminists but it doesn’t really seem like it would be except to the extent they’re indulging a youthful nostalgia.

Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

I’ve been wanting to watch Decker’s last movie Madeline’s Madeline because a lady I met and thought was cute has a small role in it. I guess all her movies are about artists and performers? I like that this one seems capable of depicting a fiction writer without just presenting their work as autobiographical but I guess that’s because it’s, you know, a real person whose story is being told. Elisabeth Moss is pretty good as Shirley Jackson. Jackson acts real weird and petulant and destructive and I sort of went in feeling like she would be depicted as a manipulative monster, but watching it I felt like it was probably well-researched and accurate to how she was but not in a way that makes me dislike Shirley Jackson — but also I do like destructive difficult personalities and I think that’s basically a fine and acceptable way for artists, or anyone, to behave. I still don’t think this is really a good movie, Shirley Jackson is not really the lead but more like the only interesting character: She’s got an obnoxious and self-satisfied husband, but the movie is more about this couple that moves in — a woman who’s pretty dull is the focal point, and her husband is boring, and manipulative too, albeit in a very commonplace way. Pretty average.

The Predator (2018) dir. Shane Black

A movie about how people with Asperger’s are the next step in human evolution that nonetheless uses the r-word slur to describe them, filled with some of the most generic actors imaginable. I like Shane Black movies as much as the next guy, but am indifferent to the Predator franchise. Maybe because, despite the R rating, they really do feel like they’re made to sell toys, like so many cartoons of the eighties? I hope the sequel the ending transparently sets up never gets made.

The Lighthouse (2019) dir. Robert Eggers

Wasn’t able to finish The Witch and I stopped and started this one a few times. Tries to avoid accusations that “all these modern horror movies are dumb as shit” by not being a horror movie but it also isn’t really anything else — Not funny enough to be a comedy nor evocative enough to be an art movie. Sort of like High Life in the sense that Robert Pattinson isn’t actually good in it but maybe it’s surprising that a mainstream actor would be in a “weird movie,” but he doesn’t really have to do anything in either, at least as far as building a character goes. It’s underwritten enough he might not even know how to read. Willem Dafoe is ok as a guy doing the sea captain voice from The Simpsons.

The Whistlers (2020) dir. Corneliu Poromboiu

Contemporary crime thing that vaguely reminded me of all the other post-Tarantino crime movies made in the past 25 years that I don’t really remember, particularly the ones in other languages. This one’s got characters learning a whistling language to communicate in a way cops will just thing is birds. Also a semi-complicated plot, told non-linearly. The female lead also pretends to be a prostitute and has sex with a criminal dude so the police watching him with hidden cameras don’t figure out what she’s up to, although, if I understand the plot, I’m pretty sure they work it out anyway.

Pain And Glory (2019) dir. Pedro Almodovar

This one stars Antonio Banderas, is pretty plainly autobiographical, being about a filmmaker approaching the end of his life -- Penelope Cruz plays the mother in flashbacks that are then shown to be a filmed recreation as an autobiographical work is begun, which is the sort of twist that could seem corny but isn’t. The film has a weird/interesting structure, the slow revelation of details from the character’s past forming a narrative a film can be made of eventually but before that there’s this totally separate story involving an actor, heroin use, and an ex-lover. That stuff’s good but also it sort of wraps up halfway through. Like, a bundle of narrative threads culminate, and then the film keeps going, to eventually tie up other bits that seem incidental. Maybe this would be fine in a theater but streamed at home I got a bit anxious. Penelope Cruz made me think “I could watch Vanilla Sky” but it turned out I can’t, it’s unwatchable.

High Heels (1991) dir. Pedro Almodovar

I love Almodovar, my stance has been that there’s a degree of diminishing returns the more of his work you see but it’s been years since I’ve seen one of his movies, and at this point I remember very little of any of them. This one’s on Criterion as part of a collection of films with scores by Ryuichi Sakamoto — Sakamoto’s not my favorite member of Yellow Magic Orchestra but he’s certainly an adept talent, and this one operates differently than I’d expect from him, most of the music feels saxophone-led, sort of in a jazz vein. Obviously you can compose for this instrumentation but yeah, not what I’d expect. The movie itself is pretty solid: bright colors, some melodrama, a ridiculous twist, a sense of humor which feels both over the top and somewhat deadpan. A woman’s mother returns to Spain after close to a lifetime away, she ends up sleeping with the daughter’s husband, he turns up dead, the daughter reveals he killed her stepfather as a child. The movie is primarily about the daughter’s yearning for the approval for an emotionally distant mother, at one point she summarizes the Bergman movie Autumn Sonata for her, but Almodovar is gayer and more sexually perverse than Bergman. so it’s less dour than I’m maybe making it sound. At one point the daughter is wearing a sweater with the pattern of the Maryland flag on it? But the credits reveal all her outfits are by Chanel.

The Handmaid’s Tale (1990) dir. Volker Schlondorff

The score is closer to what I would expect from Sakamoto here, in a martial/industrial vein, though not exclusively. Stars Natasha Richardson, and her performance feels related to what she did in Patty Hearst — a depiction of a woman shutting down parts of herself for the sake of her own survival, displaying inner reserves of strength through the appearance of submission. This seems a lot better than the current Hulu show, although I think it’s largely dismissed? It’s been a while since I read the book so I can’t remember how many liberties it takes. Obviously there remain traces of an exploitation bent in a weird way, through depiction of women in dehumanized sexual contexts but I feel like this movie is good at depicting competition between women in the context of a rigged patriarchal system.

Merry Christmas Mister Lawrence (1983) dir. Nagisa Oshima

Never seen any of Oshima’s films, despite the allure of explicit sex in an artsy context. This has Sakamoto in it opposite David Bowie. There’s a lot of English language being spoken in a thick Japanese accent. David Bowie plays a prisoner of war Sakamoto, as a military officer, falls in love with and tries to keep from harm, his score does the heavy lifting of highlighting these emotions. Was not super-into this movie but it’s always interesting to think about how popular YMO were, and if these are the type of faces you enjoy looking at you can do that. Sakamoto’s got a weird hairline. The movie is fine considered in the context of like, 1980s movies (not my fave decade) that are period military dramas (not my favorite genre) and exist in this Japanese film context that is neither super-insane and exuberant in its style nor is it super-austere and minimal.

A Farewell To Arms (1932) dir. Frank Borzage

Very well-shot piece of romance, starring Gary Cooper and Helen Hayes, in an adaptation of a Ernest Hemingway novel I don’t remember whether or not I read in high school. Hemingway didn’t like it, maybe because there were a lot of changes, which confuses the issue of whether or not I know the source material further. I don’t like this movie as much as I liked History Is Made At Night but it makes a lot more sense as a narrative, easily reduced to a bare-bones plot: He’s in the army, she’s a nurse, people don’t want them to be together during World War I, he ends up deserting to be with her. Feels lush, romantic, dreamy and swooning, but I feel like the strengths are more in the cinematography than the characters — the leads are fine enough, though not super deep, beyond the depths of their love, but the supporting cast is a bit dull.

War Of The Worlds (2005) dir. Steven Spielberg

Feel like I had heard this one was good? I appreciate Tom Cruise in the Mission: Impossible movies, and Spielberg some of the time I guess. This is a blockbuster that feels post-9/11 in a way where I wonder what a post-Corona thing would feel like — feel like it would shy away from away from a lot of spectacle or something but probably I’m wrong about that. So this one focuses on a parent and his children making their way across an increasingly demolished landscape to make it to the other parent, alien monsters are in the way, kinda just seems logistically weird or like the premise of the quest is unsound given the stakes should probably just be survival? But maybe this is post-covid thinking of how such a thing would operate — the disaster picture with a “human element” to focus the narrative on is a decades-old form and one I don’t really get down with nor do I think is generally considered to age well - i.e. I don’t remember growing up with The Towering Inferno being on TV.

My Twentieth Century (1989) dir. Ildiko Enyedi

Weird Hungarian movie where like… angels/stars observe? As two twins are born in the late eighteen-hundreds and go on to have separate lives? One as an anarchist, the other as like a party girl type who seduces rich men. The latter gets more attention than the former. Sort of a fairy tale atmosphere, which makes the explicit sex scenes awkward. There’s also a scene where a guy gives a sexist lecture about how women should be allowed to vote even though they have no sense of logic and are obsessed with sex. He draws a dick on the chalkboard and talks about how women can’t understand beauty since they are obsessed with erections which are disgusting. Not really sure what it adds to the movie as a whole since I’m not sure which one of the two characters played by the same actress is meant to be watching it, but it’s funny. A lot of things are confusing about this movie, but it’s still sort of interesting and therefore worthwhile I guess. Apparently the director has a new movie on Netflix — I don’t have Netflix at the moment but might get it for a month or two in the future to catch up on assorted things like Sion Sono’s The Forest Of Love and the David Lynch content.

His Girl Friday (1940) dir. Howard Hawks

not into this one. Rosalind Russell wears a cool suit at first though. Features the thing where a male romantic lead (Cary Grant) is openly manipulative but it’s sort of viewed as fine and funny because the woman in question is confident and modern, which kinda feels like a fascinating view into the gender dynamics of the time, although I don’t think it works as a comedy as far as me being able to figure out what the jokes are. The journalists getting caught up in crime intrigue plot is cool though, that kind of feels like something that always works.

Lured (1947) dir. Douglas Sirk

Kind of have no idea why I watched all the older Douglas Sirk movies on the Criterion Channel at this point, even the ones I liked I don’t think I liked that much? This one stars Lucille Ball, who I don’t love. Other movies I watched recently that were partly comedies and partly suspense things worked better than this. This one’s about attractive young women disappearing and Lucille Ball getting hired by the police to be an undercover detective. She ends up finding love, but then the man she gets engaged to is framed for murder by the actual killer. Features scenes where the police (led by Charles Coburn, who’s fine in this) talk about how crazy Baudelaire was. Wouldn’t recommend.

Far From Heaven (2002) dir. Todd Haynes

Not sure I have any strong feelings towards Todd Haynes, but it seems likely I might end up watching a bunch of his movies eventually. This came out in high school, and I had no interest in it, but I’m more charitable towards the whole fifties melodrama thing it’s paying homage to now. Julianne Moore stars as a woman whose husband (Dennis Quaid) is gay and repressing himself via alcoholism, who strikes up a friendship with her black gardener, (Dennis Haysbert) which scandalizes her neighbors. The moments Moore and Haysbert spend together are maybe the most interesting - particularly them going to an all-black restaurant - but the aspect of them being watched and judged feels more cliched. Similarly, the stuff about Dennis Quaid’s homosexuality is most interesting as a lived-in thing, and his drinking, hitting his wife, etc., is less so. The veins of sensuality running through the movie are richer than the plot structure that unites them. This might be one of the things that makes Carol a superior movie.

The Violent Men (1955) dir. Rudolph Mate

This stars a bunch of people I don’t like — Glenn Ford, Edward G Robinson, Barbara Stanwyck is fine in other stuff but boring here. Dianne Foster plays her daughter, and that’s the meatiest role basically- she gets to denounce violent men. This is a western about a guy being pressured to sell his land for cheap. Criterion Channel programmed this as part of a series called “western noir” and I don’t know about this stuff. Foster’s character is definitely the most interesting part — her parents are essentially these gangsters running the town, her teen angst feels like it stems from an inherent morality and disgust with them. Stanwyck is cheating on Foster’s father (Robinson) with a guy I think is his brother who also enforces the violence. The mom tries to kill the father, and then is herself killed by a woman in love with the person she’s sleeping with, so the daughter, you would think, would go through a gamut of emotions. But she’s a totally secondary to Glenn Ford’s male lead, who she ends up riding off into the sunset with — he initially was involved in a relationship with a woman who didn’t care about his inherent morality in favor of a materialism, but she just sort of gets dropped from the narrative at a certain point. The movie really tries to play it both ways with regards to the violence, but I feel like that’s pretty common actually: While I feel like today the title might primarily be intended as an indictment, it also feels like at the time it was very much the sales pitch to the audience.

Shane (1953) dir. George Stevens

Classic western, about homesteaders just trying to live who end up needing to get in gunfights with people who want their land. Jean Arthur plays the wife and mother, which is why I sought it out (especially sicne she had established rapport with Stevens) but she’s barely in it. The titular Shane is a good dude who wanders through and ends up helping them out. The kid’s infatuation of Shane is really annoying to me personally. I love how this has two big fist-fights though, the second of which is a They Live style thing, a conflict between friends that becomes incredibly drawn out. The first fight is also just incredibly brutal and well-choreographed, probably the high point of the movie.

Cast A Deadly Spell (1991) dir. Martin Campbell

TV movie made for HBO with very Vertigo Comics energy, I started off thinking “this is dumb” but very quickly got on its side. It’s a riff on HP Lovecraft mythology set in a 1940s Los Angeles where everyone uses magic except for one private detective, whose name is Harry Lovecraft. Pretty PG-rated, some practical effects (not the best kind, more like gargoyle demon creature costumes I assume are made of foam), and a pretty easily foreseeable “twist” ending where the apocalypse is averted because the virgin sacrifice just lost her virginity to a cop. Not actually that clever but clever enough to work and be consistently enjoyable. Julianne Moore plays a nightclub singer. My interest in this is brought about because there’s a sequel (where I guess the deal is the detective does use magic, and no one else does) called Witch Hunt starring Dennis Hopper and directed by Paul Schrader.

Jennifer’s Body (2009) dir. Karyn Kusama

The climax of Cast A Deadly Spell shares a plot point with this, which I think is being reevaluated as a “cult classic” to what I assume is the same audience that valued the Scott Pilgrim movie: People ten years younger than me who think it’s charming when things are completely obnoxious. A lot of musical cues, all mixed at too loud relative to the rest of the audio, bad jokes. This tone does help power the whole nihilistic, I-enjoy-seeing-these-superfluous-characters-die aspect of the plot but the sort of emotional core of the horror is less present. This movie is basically fine, by lowered modern movies standards, but it’s perfectly disposable and not really worth valuing in any way. I watched Kusama’s movie Destroyer starring Nicole Kidman a year ago and don’t remember anything about it now.

Dead Ringers (1988) dir. David Cronenberg

Rewatch. I think for a while I would’ve considered this my favorite Cronenberg but nowadays I might favor eXistenZ? Jeremy Irons in dual roles as twin brothers, with different personalities, but who routinely impersonate each other, and whose lives begin to deteriorate as a relationship with a woman leads to them individuate themselves from each other. They’re gynecologists, and the whole thing is suffused with an air of creepiness. There’s this sense of airlessness to the movie, a sense of panic, which is present incredibly early on and just sort of keeps going, getting weirder and more uncomfortable as you become accustomed to it, that feels like a sure sign of mastery. I’m fascinated to think about how watching it in a crowd, or on a date, would feel. Most movies don’t operate like this.

Imagine The Sound (1981) dir. Ron Mann

Mann is the director of Comic Book Confidential, which I saw as a middle schooler. This is a documentary about free jazz, featuring interviews and performance footage. Paul Bley and Cecil Taylor are both shown playing solo piano, which isn’t my favorite context to hear them in. Bill Dixon and Archie Shepp say some cool stuff, there is some nice trio footage of Shepp with a rhythm section.

Born In Flames (1983) dir. Lizzie Borden

Easily the best movie I watched for the first time in the time period I’m covering in this post. I heard about this years ago but only seeing it now, when it feels super-relevant. It is shot in New York in the eighties, features plenty of documentation of the city as it was, but in the context of the movie, there has been a socialist revolution ten years earlier, and this film then documents the struggle of the women, particularly black women, who are slipping through the cracks, and fighting for the ongoing quest to make a utopia, but exist in opposition to the party in power. While focusing on black women, there’s also plenty of white women, also opposed to and more progre.ssive than the people in power, but that are having their own conversations which are very different. There’s also montage sequences of women performing labor that cut between women wrapping up chicken to close-ups of a condom being rolled onto a erect penis. The title song is by the Red Krayola, circa the Kangaroo? era where Lora Logic provided vocals. So yeah, this movie rules! It would be a good double-feature with The Spook Who Sat By The Door, though in a film school context, or a sociology context, you would need to do a great deal of groundwork first. Could also work as a double-feature with The Falls for how what you are seeing is the aftermath of a great sociological reshaping realized on a low-budget. I think I put off this movie I think because I was skeptical of the director’s self-conscious “artist’s name” but it turns out they got it legally named as a young child.

State Of Siege (1972) dir. Costa-Gavras

Also really good! Better than Born In Flames when considered in terms of its level of craft. Would make for a fine double feature with my beloved Patty Hearst. Tightly structured over the course of a week, leftist terrorists kidnap an American and interrogate him about what exactly he’s doing in their Latin American country that’s being run by death squads. He denies wrong-doing, but basically everything he’s done is already known to them. This exists in parallel to police interrogations of leftists. Pretty large scale, tons of characters, some basically incidental. Screenplay’s written by the guy who wrote Battle Of Algiers.

Olivia (1951) dir. Jacqueline Audry

French movie sort of about lesbian love at an all-girl’s boarding school that’s weird because everyone seems like they’re feeling homosexual love, but just for one instructor who eggs everyone on. Everyone acts weird in this one, basically. There’s a lot of doting. The atmosphere is pretty unfathomable to me. Chaste-seeming in some ways, but also like everyone is being psychologically tortured by being subject to the whims of each other, but also just rolling with it in this deferential way. Seems like it could feel “emotionally true” to a lesbian experience but only in highly, highly specific circumstances?

Lucia (1968) dir. Humberto Solas

Good score in this one, which is not that much like I Am Cuba but I feel obligated to compare them anyway - both are from Cuba and use this three-story anthology structure. All the stories in this movie revolve around different women named Lucia, in three different, historically important, time periods. The first is about a woman who falls in love with a man from Spain, during the time of Cuba’s war of independence, he says he doesn’t think about politics, but this is one lie among several. This ends with brutal sequences of war. The second takes place under the dictatorship of Gerardo Machado. The third takes place post-revolution, and is about a literacy coach teaching a woman to read and write under the eye of a domineering chauvinistic husband. As with I Am Cuba, it is the very act of considering these three stories together that brings out their propagandistic aspect, and makes them feel less like individual stories. They’re all beautifully shot, although it’s less in less of a show-offy way than I Am Cuba.

Mr. Klein (1976) dir. Joseph Losey

This one’s got a cool premise- About an art dealer, played by Alain Delon, who is buying art from Jews at low prices as they leave occupied France quickly, but who then starts getting confused for another person with the same name as him, who is Jewish. Gets sort of Kakfa-esque but also remains grounded in this world where there are rational explanations for things. (at least as far as the holocaust is rational) So the line gets walked between bits that feel vaguely verging on nightmare but also sort of maintain the plausible deniability of belonging to the waking world, of a paranoia for something the exact scope of which remains unnamed. Ends with Klein as one of many in a trainyard full of people being sent off to concentration camps, which to me felt sort of tasteless, as a large-scale recreation, but that feels deliberate, as a way of offsetting the scope of the film being primarily focused on one person, whose relationship to the larger horror, before it affected him, was parasitic.

Husbands (1970) dir. John Cassavetes

Not into this one. The semi-improvisatory nature of the dialogue never coalesces into characters that seem to have a real core to them, there’s always just this sort of drunken aggression mode. What even is there to these characters, besides the aggression they treat women with? What separates them from one another, makes them distinct entities, beyond the sense they egg each other on?

Casino (1995) dir. Martin Scorsese

Rewatch. Joe Pesci plays the violent Italian guy, Robert De Niro plays the level-headed Jew, Sharon Stone plays the blonde who gets strung out on drugs. Three hours long to contain everyone’s arcs, but also sort of feels like it neatly has act breaks at pretty close to the hour marks, while also telling this pretty big historical sweeping piece about how corporate control comes to Las Vegas, the notion that “the house always wins” but even the individual whose job it is to run the house is himself situated inside a larger house. Both here and in Raging Bull, De Niro plays a character whose third act involves trying to be an entertainer for reasons of ego, and it’s so weird. Yeah, a great movie, one of the few that the reductive view of Scorsese as “someone who just makes mob movies” applies to, I have no opinion on whether it’s better than Goodfella or not.

Blue Collar (1978) dir. Paul Schrader

Not great. Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel, and Yaphet Kotto co-star. Sometimes feels like maybe it’s meant to function partly as a comedy but doesn’t. It’s also mostly a crime movie, about people working at an auto plant who decide to rob their union’s vault. They end up not making any money from that robbery, but the union can claim insurance funds, so they get to benefit while the working men continue to be shafted, worried about the consequences of what they’ve done. Kotto dies, and Pryor and Keitel are turned against each other by circumstance, which the film tries to play off as being about the divisions among people that keep the working class weak. I definitely feel like the Schrader oeuvre begins with Hardcore.

Mona Lisa (1986) dir. Neil Jordan

This ends up kind of feeling like a lesser version of Hardcore, with British accents. Bob Hoskins, out of jail, starts driving for a prostitute, they dislike each other at first,  but become friendly. She asks him to track down a younger girl she was friends with, who a pimp has gotten strung out on drugs. (Hoskins is also a father to a daughter, though his relationship with the mother is strained from having gone to prison.) Hoskins’ character isn’t that interesting and the film revolves around him, the female lead is more interesting but deliberately removed from the larger narrative. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a good Neil Jordan movie.

The Untouchables (1987) dir. Brian De Palma

Rewatch. Great Ennio Morricone score in this one, a real reminder of a different era in terms of what constituted a blockbuster or a prestige picture. David Mamet provides the screenplay. De Palma is pretty reined-in, while Mission: Impossible is an insane procession of sequences of top-notch visual storytelling, the most De Palma trademark thing here is a first-person perspective of a home invasion scene, watching Sean Connery, that ends up being a deliberate choice of a limited perspective to surprise as he gets lured to his death. I feel like there’s a straight line between this movie and Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy (1990), but obviously what that line runs through is the reality-rewriting effect of Tim Burton’s Batman.

Pulp Fiction (1994) dir. Quentin Tarantino

Rewatch. Can scarcely comprehend how it would’ve felt to see this in a theater when it came out. I watched it the first time in college on a laptop and headphones and it blew me away, even after years of a bunch of it being referenced on The Simpsons and everywhere else. I haven’t seen it since. Rewatching is this exercise in seeing what you don’t remember when everything’s been processed a million times. Feels like Tarantino’s best screenplay due to its construction, more so than any dialogue, which is obviously a little in love with itself. Samuel Jackson wears a Krazy Kat t-shirt after his suit gets covered in blood. Quentin Tarantino casts himself as the white guy who gets to say the n-word a bunch.

[honeymoonjin]

A/N: It’s here!!! Like I said before, this fic will be a lot lighter and more humor-based than DOPE, so that you have some variety! 3k words.

LOST IN TRANSLATION ↳What do you do when you have no qualifications but want to see the world? You help teach English in a Korean primary school, apparently. ↳Principal!Jin, math teacher!Yoongi, PE teacher!Hoseok, English teacher!Namjoon, school nurse!Jimin, art teacher!Taehyung, and science teacher!Jungkook.

CHAPTER ONE ↳You arrive in Seoul and begin to meet the teachers you’ll be spending your whole year with.

You hover awkwardly in the arrivals foyer, consulting your phone again, reading the email you had been sent a week ago. According to the information given, there should’ve been someone there for you already, waiting to drive you to the school.

But no matter how often you glanced around, up on your tiptoes as you tried to scan the massive area of Incheon International Airport, you couldn’t see any signs with your name on them.

Oh shit, you thought, what if they’ve written my name in Hangeul? You sigh and begin another dutiful look-over, deeply focused on the countless signs with Korean characters on them, trying to recognise ones that would make up your first or last name.

You just about jump out of your skin when someone taps you on the shoulder out of nowhere.

“Are you Y/n, here for teaching?” He’s younger than you were expecting for a schoolteacher, although you remember the email stating he was in charge of physical education and the rec sports teams, so maybe it was better to have someone still pretty fit. And he definitely was fit. Although he was in a grass-stained polo shirt and basketball shorts, he had a contagious smile and kind eyes, and his dark, wavy hair was endearingly a little bit messy.

Clearly you were looking over him for a little too long, because he smiles sheepishly and pats down his shirt. “Sorry about the messy clothes. I came straight from practice.”

You frown, hoping your Korean will be at least coherent if not entirely correct. “But it is 8am.”

He gives you a wide beam and laughs a little as you get through the sentence one syllable at a time. “Yes, soccer practice is from 6am to 7:30 on a Monday morning.”

“Oh. The kids still play soccer when it is very early?”

He shrugs, beginning to lead you towards the carpark area. “Actually, we have 6am sport every day of the week. Soccer on Monday, basketball on Tuesday, swimming on Wednesday. You get the idea.”

“And you teach all sport teams?”

“Your Korean is fantastic, you know?” He chimes the final part in a cutely accented English, and you blush at the praise, shaking your head modestly. “I teach almost all of the sport teams. Technically the mathematics competition team is classified as a sports team, but Teacher Min does that. You’ll meet him later.”

You nod slowly as he talks, a little overwhelmed by how fast he’s speaking. You had studied the language for five years, but all of the other teacher’s assistants you had spoken to had said a thousand times how when you were finally confronted by a native speaker in that country, your mind went blank and you forgot every single word.

It was what you had been obsessively worrying about on the whole red-eye flight over, and you were lucky that some last minute studying had made you feel a little more confident in your abilities.

He comes to a stop beside a shabby Nissan, unlocking it and gesturing for you to get into the passenger side. It smells like sweat in there, and you can see a random assortment of various balls and other equipment stashed into the backseat and boot. “Sorry about the mess in the back,” he apologises, starting the car up and pulling away towards the exits.

“You don’t need to apologise, I’m very thankful you drive me from airport to school.” The matter is forgotten completely as the car breaches the exit and your eyes are filled with light. Several skyscrapers dot the horizon line in the near distance, and everything looks so advanced and modern. There’s a large amount of people milling around outside, and the traffic just around the airport is rather congested, but the man navigates it with ease. You sit in a comfortable silence for a good half an hour before directing your gaze back inside the car with a sudden thought. “Sorry, I don’t know your name now.”

“Oh, you forgot?”

“Ah, yes, I forgot.”

He glances over at you intermittingly, hands relaxed on the wheel as he winds through the streets of Seoul. “My name’s Hoseok. Well, Teacher Jung.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/n.” You purse your lips in the awkward silence that falls, trying to work out something grammatically correct to say. “Uh, the school is good? You like it?”

He hums his affirmation, and with a surprised blink you realize the car is already pulling up to a relatively small primary school, heading towards the staff parking. “You’ll love it here. The kids are great, and the staff are more like family.” He slides into a park in one clean swoop and stops the car. “Alright, out we go.”

You can’t see much of the school before you’re taken straight to the reception building, but it looks like there are only five or six classroom blocks out back, all lined up around a slightly bumpy and overgrown sports field. When you had applied to three different schools in South Korean, they were all smaller schools. You had decided you’d feel more comfortable with a rural primary school rather than a large one in the city. But you hadn’t connected the dots that a school away from the hustle and bustle of the city meant that funding wasn’t so high.

It probably worked out quite well for a school like this to get a teacher’s assistant. You had paid for your own flights, and they basically just provided you with a homestay for accommodation and a small weekly allowance for your work. Coming fresh out of a half-completed university degree, it was a nice break from student life for you, and a good opportunity for them to save a little money on staff.

One thing that immediately stuck out to you was the lack of receptionist in the reception office. Technically, it looked more like a waiting room with a few offices branching off. Hoseok bounced up to the door right across from the main entrance and rapped three times.

Principal Kim Seokjin, the plaque read, and the amount of time it took you to work that out by reading the characters, the door was falling inwards, and a warm voice called out, “Ah, Y/n, come in!”

You look up from the silver engraving and your mouth falls open. In the correspondence that had occurred between you and the principal, you had always imagined a grouchy but softhearted, slightly older gentleman. Okay, if you were honest with yourself, you just imagined Ji Seokjin from Running Man. If the shoe fits; but in this case it most certainly didn’t.

It felt like you had stumbled straight onto a cheesy k-drama set. He had honey blonde hair that swept over his much darker eyebrows, perfect bone structure and full, pouty lips that made you want to pass out just so he could perform mouth-to-mouth. “Uh…Yes, I’m Y/n. Nicetomeetyousir.”

He grins at your rushed introduction and invites you in to sit. His office is warmer than outside, and you automatically tune in to the principal’s brief conversation with Hoseok as you take off your coat and scarf.

“…those clothes. Didn’t you have time for a shower?”

“Why am I not hearing ‘Thank you, Hoseok, I’m so grateful, Hoseok’? I could’ve easily gotten Yoongi to go. She would’ve turned right back around and hopped on the next plane out of here.”

“Go back to class, Jung. Year 3 PE starts in eight minutes.”

“You’re most welcome for picking her up, sir. I appreciate the thanks.”

Principal Kim huffs and shuts the door gently behind him, making his way back to sit behind the large desk you were sitting across from. As your gaze follows him around the room, you notice a few frames nailed to the wall; a teaching certificate, a local management award, a photo of the school itself, and, larger than the rest, a professionally-shot picture of himself, with a white blouse and some round-framed glasses, lips slightly parted and staring dead-on into the camera.

You cough lightly as he turns to you with the exact same posture and expression. “How was your flight?”

“Good. I slept the flight.” Every time you say a sentence, you cringe internally when you know you’ve messed up, but he doesn’t really seem to react.

He breaks the gaze, reaches into a drawer and pulls out a stapled pile of pages, tossing it over to you to flick through. “There’s a map of the premises, though I imagine you’ll be able to find your way around soon enough, a copy of the official contract, and some general advice for living in Korea. Don’t worry too much about all that, since you’ll be living with a member of staff. He’ll take you to and from work each day and we’ve given him some extra funding for meals for you.”

You nod gratefully. “Thank you, sir. It is very helpful.”

A grin lights up his face as he leans back in his chair. “Now, that’s the boring stuff out of the way, are you ready for a tour?”

You blink, not understanding one of the words he used. “Tour?”

He gestures vaguely around himself. “I’ll show you the school, introduce you to our other teachers, that’s what tour means.”

“Oh, I see. Yes, let’s do it!”

One of the first things you learn about Kim Seokjin is that he walks pretty fast with those long legs of his, and you spent so much energy on half-jogging to keep up with him, that as he explained the history of the school, you couldn’t really focus on that too. You tried your best to make general sounds of surprise or agreement so that he thought you were listening, and hoped you weren’t missing anything too important.

It wasn’t until you finished following him around the school field that he comes to a halt outside the first classroom and you can finally zone in on what he’s saying. “…is the physical education classroom since it’s the closest to our equipment shed. Jung is teaching in there now, but you’ve already met him, so we won’t go in. You won’t really have to go over here much, but I thought I should mention that if you ever get here early, this is the only classroom that’s unlocked since it’s where the kids meet for early morning sport. There’s a bathroom in there too, so it’s a good place to stay warm until we officially open at 8am.”

You barely have to walk fifteen meters to be standing in front of the second building. Instead of staying outside on the concrete quad, he leads you up a short wooden ramp and into a small locker room. When he continues speaking, he’s dropped his voice to a stage whisper. “To the left, Class 2, that’s a basic room, we have most classes like Korean, English and Math in there.” He pops up to the small window on the door. “Ah, Min’s doing Year 5 math. Let’s go in.”

“Oh, we don’t have to…”

Your protests go unheard as he barges right in without knocking. “Can they do Pythagoras yet, Teacher Min?”

A low voice from inside the classroom calmly replies, “You can’t do Pythagoras yet, Seokjin.”

Principal Kim turns to you from half-in, half-out of the doorway, and tips his head over to get you to follow him inside.

The voice belongs to a man with dark hair and perfect skin. Like Principal Kim, he’s pretty young, and you’re beginning to regret not listening better to Kim’s speech, wondering if he had explained why all the teachers looked well under thirty so far. He’s lounging at the desk, one leg crossed leisurely over the other, eyebrows raised from behind his glossy bangs. His students, kids around 9 years old staring blankly at the three division questions written on the blackboard.

“You haven’t placed first in a regional beauty pageant, but you don’t see me complaining,” Kim bites back.

The teacher quirks his lips up a little in bemusement. “I wonder how long it’ll take you to realize that’s not a relevant achievement in the line of education.” His dark eyes flick over to you, and he raises his eyebrows further. “The new kid arrived?”

You bow to him. “Hello, my name is Y/n, nice to meet you.”

Principal Kim smiles benevolently and turns to the kids, who have long since given up on the math questions and are watching the interaction with wide eyes. “Children, Y/n will be helping you with your English. Take good care of her.” He leans over to you. “Say a little something about yourself.”

If there’s one thing worse than being put on the spot for an icebreaker, it’s being put on the spot for an icebreaker in a foreign language. Your mind whirs on double-time as you desperately try to find something interesting to say. “I have not been to Korea before, it is very kind here but more winter than my home country.”

An unreadable smile plays on Teacher Min’s lips. “What a relief that it’s English you’ll be teaching.”

You blush violently as Kim scolds the Teacher and quickly hustles you out of the classroom, shutting the door behind him with a little more vigor than usual. “Sorry about Min. He’s the only math teacher we could find. You’ll get used to him.”

“It’s fine,” you breath out with an awkward laugh, “I know my Korean is not good. I want to learn better here.”

He pats you on the shoulder, then points behind you. “That there is our art classroom, I’ll introduce you to Teacher Kim.” You frown. “Different Kim. Actually, there are three Kims at the school including me, so we call the other two Art Kim and English Kim. Anyway, let’s go in.”

You’ve always been a little biased towards the arts; you would’ve gone to university to study art history and painting were it not for your parents insistence that education was a much better field, and so it gave you a certain kind of wonder to see the people that had pursued their dreams in the field, and the kind of life they led where their job was their passion.

Your first impression of the classroom was how chaotic it was compared to the one across the hall. Instead of four lines of chairs and tables, students were bunched into small groups dotted around the room. The room itself was lined with benches; some had sinks where old streaks of paint led down the drain, some had boxes of charcoal sticks and pastels, others held cardboard sculptures and mock-ups. A fond smile played on your face at the scene you were met with. Principal Kim had chosen not to noisily announce his presence, and you could see the teacher looking like a giant on the extra small and short children’s chairs, talking quietly but passionately to a student attempting to draw an old green bottle that sat in the middle of the table.

His voice was surprisingly deep, and his hair was much longer than most men you had seen, flopping over in the front and reaching near his shirt collar in the back. Like every art teacher you had ever met, he had an endearingly quirky fashion sense, wearing a patchy pink woolen robe over a dress shirt and pants. The other students at the table bunched up as best they could, listening intensely and looking at him like he was explaining all the secrets of the universe. You remembered that feeling of awe well.

He glanced up when the principal called out his name, and let a boxy smile overtake his face. He quickly excused himself from the table and stood up to his full height, approaching you two as the kids called out in disappointment behind him.

You notice that when Principal Kim introduces the two of you, Art Kim never once takes his eyes off of you, staring at your face with some intent curiosity. You smile at him awkwardly and give a short bow. “Nice to meet you, Teacher Kim. Art is my favorite school subject.”

His lips drop open slightly. “Oh, really? Why do you like art?”

You weren’t prepared for the extremely open-ended and opinionated question, and it takes you a moment of stumbling over your words to get any coherent thought out. “Well, I see…no, I think art is, uh, beautiful, because it is…um, it is like a conversation from artist to person looking. I’m sorry, that doesn’t make sen-”

“It makes perfect sense,” he cuts you off quickly. His chestnut hair glows under the harsh lights in the room and his eyes stare deeply into yours. “You’re completely right. Art isn’t just a picture, it’s meant to be given and experienced. The artist is sending a message to the viewer, of course, but art is nothing if the viewer doesn’t see it and give something back, even if it’s just an emotion or an analysis.”

You don’t understand most of the words he just said. “Yes, exactly.”

He smiles at you again, shyly this time. “It is very nice to meet you, Y/n. I look forward to seeing you around.”

Principal Kim looks back and forth between the two of you, blinking like he’s just as lost in the conversation as you are. “Thank you for your time, Teacher Kim, we will be moving on with the tour now.”

Art Kim bows quickly and gives you a cute little wave, then goes back to his students, pulling up a chair at a different table and immediately entering into a conversation about whether the young boy should make the sky orange and the sun blue instead of doing it the normal way.

Once you’ve left the building and stand outside in front of classroom 4, Principal Kim turns to you and tuts. “Ah, this tour is so boring! Math and drawing pictures. But don’t worry, next is the science blo-”

He’s cut off by a loud bang coming from inside, which is paired with a flash of white and kids squealing in excitement and delight. A thin wisp of smoke trails out of one of the half-open windows.

Principal Kim lets out an exhausted sigh. “Dammit, Jeon Jungkook.”

TAGLIST  Send me a message or an ask if you wish to be added, and you’ll be notified every time I post a new chapter of LiT.

[silvershoelaces]

HPWU: A One Year Retrospective

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite turned one year old last month, and over the past year, it has improved a lot.

This review is looking at HPWU as a standalone game, devoid of the context of the book series, any views of its author, the movies and spinoffs, or any other media associated with the Harry Potter franchise.  I have plenty of opinions thereof, but they are not directly relevant to my opinions of the game and how it functions.

The game at its core is not particularly inventive, and at the beginning of its first year, it mostly felt like a reskin of Pokemon Go.  Spawns appear on the screen based on a map that a player traverses in real space, and players must tap on the spawns and then attempt to collect them in order to complete their collections.  But instead of catching Pokemon to fill the Pokedex, players are rescuing “foundables” from “confoundables” to fill their stamp collections.  Unlike Pokemon Go, multiple copies of each foundable must be collected in order to acquire the stamp, and once the entire page of stamps is collected, it can be prestiged in order to start the whole process over again.

Traversing the world, though, can prove to be complicated in anywhere but the most urban of areas.  I live in an urban area, close to my local downtown, and at the game’s inception, I had to walk pretty far in order to complete my daily F2P chores each day.  See, all of the POIs (points of interest) on the map are auto-generated from the data in Niantic’s original game, Ingress, and each POI is randomly assigned to one of three types.  Inns, where players can acquire spell energy, are the most common.  Next are greenhouses, where players can acquire potionmaking ingredients and occasionally, more spell energy.  And the least common of these POIs is fortresses, which allow players to enter timed dungeons either by themselves or with other players to fight baddies and get prizes for their efforts.

The randomness of assigning each of these three types of POI is a real drag for many players.  When the game was first released, I had two greenhouses and one fortress reasonably close to my home.  This was enough to play the game, as greenhouses also occasionally awarded spell energy just like inns, except that the dailies explicitly required me to interact with two inns each day in order to get any premium currency.  And as I mentioned, the assortment of POIs was completely random!  Some players found themselves with nothing but fortresses around, while others had only inns and no fortresses for multiple kilometers.  I considered myself relatively fortunate that I only had to walk 1 km to get to a nearby inn!

But unlike Pokemon Go, while the game encourages exploring, the core mechanics are not well suited to walking.  In Go, a rare spawn can be easily subdued in 1-2 attempts, and curveballs are quick and easy to throw.  In HPWU, the rarer the spawn, the more difficult it is to capture, and the more likely it is to run away.  Foundables are captured by tracing patterns on the screen, and they all have a rather low acquisition rate, which means the rare ones are more likely to flee than to stay put unless the player pours consumable items into their capture.  And even so, a player having to trace the same pattern multiple times just to capture a single spawn means that there is much more time standing in one place and less time walking.  This is not an exercise game.

And this is one of the core flaws that has plagued Wizards Unite since its inception.  It’s a clone of Pokemon Go, but every single mechanic that differs from Pokemon Go brings it further away from Go’s vision of an exercise game.  Wizards Unite is an augmented reality exploration game, but it’s more about exploring a story and a setting than about racking up burned calories.  This is especially apparent in limited-time events that encourage players to spend multiple hours standing still by the same POI, challenging hordes of enemies.

Monthly Community Day events aside, the regular cycle of in-game events was fun and engaging at first, but it quickly grew dull as players finished the main story quest and found the primary content of the game to be the fortnightly events.  This is always a struggle for F2P games, especially games that rely on collections rather than PVP mechanics.  The events weren’t even new content, merely recolored versions of content that already existed in the games, spawning much more frequently than other foundables and with featured spawn rates.  What was fun in the game’s first few months had quickly become tedious, especially when the featured foundables had low catch rates.

Despite this stagnation, the game has changed over time, and many improvements have been made.  The tonic for trace detection, a craftable potion that allows players to summon foundables to wherever they are, was long overdue when it was introduced into the game, allowing players who were less mobile to encounter more foundables when they had time to play.  Inns and greenhouses were rebalanced so that inns in less urban areas dropped more spell energy, and greenhouses’ spell energy became guaranteed, rather than a 50% drop rate, which was an important improvement for areas with a low POI density and an active playerbase.  Adventure Sync was added, which allows the game to track steps.  (Unfortunately, this feature does not function well, as the steps counted toward daily tasks only begin after the player’s daily login bonus, and AdSync requires the game to have access to the player’s GPS while the game is closed, which drains phone battery in the background. Players who already have AdSync enabled for Pokemon Go will not notice much difference.)

The most significant overhaul, of course, came with the onset of coronavirus.  In order to allow players to continue playing from their homes, the daily requirement to interact with inns was removed, and the Knight Bus, which allows players to remotely access fortress challenges and even engage with other players remotely, was implemented.  I have found that the implementation of the Knight Bus almost single-handedly revived my interest in the game when I had grown completely bored of it, as it was a lot more fun to play fortress challenges with friends, which I had barely been able to do before, than to play the game solo.

But these improvements also serve to highlight the flaws in this game that have not been improved since its release.  Trace completion always takes a particular shape, and its right-handed bias is clear the moment one attempts to complete a trace off-handed.  The swirl of Ebublio, in particular, which takes an “e” shape, feels much more natural in the counter-clockwise direction in the right hand than in the left.  Mirroring traces in a left-handed or “mirror” mode would be an easy fix!

SOS assignments have not been updated since day one of the game, and they have said “new assignments coming soon” since I completed them.  In my first few months of playing, that was the real draw of the game for me, finishing the story quest and continuing on to the next page to see what would happen next.  Each event feels like filler, while what would have made the most sense would have been to add four or five new pages of story quests every few months or so.  And they (and all other events) aren’t replayable, so when WB/Niantic/whoever is responsible finally gets around to adding them, we’ll all have forgotten what happened.  I already don’t remember.

Finally, the entire story as a whole, which is told as a haphazard, shoddy, zigzagging extra flavor to the repetitive, bland events, could have been told with just a week or even a day of gameplay in a regular game.  “What is causing this calamity?” the characters ask.  “I don’t know, but let’s patch the problem and investigate the cause later.  Maybe the identity of the next problem that arises will give us a clue.”  The game relies on half a dozen characters who show up just to give the player instructions, and it is somewhat over-reliant on the draw of the property to encourage players to invest themselves in the game.  This is not good for a game that is mostly divorced from the primary story of its franchise.  Assuming I knew nothing about Harry Potter or his universe before playing this game, and even if I do, there are way too many characters, and no documented point of reference for a player to look at for a reminder.  The main characters seem to be Constance Pickering and Hermione Granger, with a splash of Harry Potter and a pinch of Ron Weasley thrown in.  Their commentary doesn’t add much to my engagement because it’s the same mildly curious “I wonder what’s causing this” speculation we’ve had since the beginning.

Good stuff appears to be coming soon.  The strongest aspect of the game is the ability to customize one’s character with an ability tree, which lends more variety to the way players can interact with the fortress challenges.  An upcoming update is set to add this customization to the map screen, which may give this game the new life it so sorely needs.

All in all, judging Wizards Unite by its gameplay and content alone, and divorcing it from the source material, I’d rate it a C+.  The game isn’t sure what it wants to be.  It advertises itself as an exploration game, but punishes walking and rewards standing still.  Adventure Sync once again rewards walking, this time when the game is closed, but the player is again punished, this time by severe battery drain.  The game leans heavily on its story, but the story falls short due to poor updates and over-reliance on events to tease rather than deliver new story elements.

And of course, if we are to judge the game based primarily on its being an entry into the Harry Potter franchise, then we must begin to judge it on the merits and flaws of the franchise as a whole, which is a discussion for another day.  If we don’t measure it against the franchise, there is much in the game that will be confusing to a player unfamiliar with the series.  Who are these people, and why are we rescuing them?  Why are we rescuing this one man some of the time, and attacking him other times?  Four of the six pages of stamps feature characters from the franchise heavily.  Players who aren’t invested in the franchise won’t care too much about them.

To someone who isn’t interested in the Harry Potter franchise, or to someone who was previously interested but has become disillusioned with the author of the series, I recommend you pass on this game.  However, longtime fans who can still derive pleasure from the series, who separate the creator from the creation, or who view this and other derivative works as their own entries, created by teams rather than by the one who started it all, may enjoy this game.

[notdeadjack]

annual reclist 2019

yoo my favourite reads of 2019! 

20 Fandoms represented:

Haikyuu!!: 3 fics Boku no Hero Academia: 17 fics  The Umbrella Academy: 8 fics Resident Evil 6: 3 fics Harry Potter, assorted: 1 fic  Star Trek: 10 fics  Voltron: 8 fics Teen Wolf: 73 fics Marvel, assorted: 25 fics Naruto: 8 fics Star Wars: 4 fics Good Omens: 1 fic Merlin: 5 fics Borderlands: 1 fic Hannibal: 1 fic Avatar The Last Airbender: 1 fic Toy Story: 1 fic  South Park: 1 fic  Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 2 fics  /r/nosleep: 4 fics

total fics recced: 177

(if the cut doesn’t work, i am so sorry)

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Haikyuu!!

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429966     big by shouyoto     1k, Hinata/Kageyama, size difference, 

Kageyama is big.

At first, Shouyou thinks it was annoying. At first, it had been a constant reminder, a buzz to his ears on how simply unfair the universe was since he aged a few months older than Kageyama, and yet, somehow- somehow, he's still the one who ends up with the shorter end of the stick. But much like their bond, this impression didn’t last long either.

...

Shouyou finds himself fawning over Kageyama's big build.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4409042     Girl trouble by PhoenixGFawkes     37k, Hinata/Kageyama, rule 63, they’re lesbians harold, 

Kageyama is annoyed by the boys that approach her to ask her out (she’s not interested), to offer to carry her books for her (she can handle it) or give her flowers (what would she want them for?). Hinata says that she’d like it if a boy once did any of that stuff for her, but she’s a dumbass who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

When that boy for Hinata shows up, though, Kageyama isn’t annoyed.

She’s furious.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005018    Make You Say I Look Good by Esselle    5k, Hinata/Kageyama, crossdressing, 

'Kageyama balances a tray of scones, and little teacups and saucers, and a pretty teapot, as he walks across the room slowly and carefully. His attention is entirely focused upon the very breakable, spillable things he is holding. So much for his innate setter's skills at the task; he moves so slowly that Hinata isn't sure how he's managed to serve anyone since they started. He's sweating profusely, apparently from stress and intense concentration, little beads of perspiration running down the side of his face and arms. His shoulders are too wide and broad for the outfit, the bulk of his muscular arms straining against the ruffled sleeves.

"Oh, no," Hinata says.'

--

In which the volleyball club decides to open up a maid cafe, and Hinata is forced to confront his feelings for a certain setter.

.

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Boku no Hero Academia

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795849     I Can Make You Feel Good by dinosaurspice     4k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 

curious teens experiment 

- the whole series (as of mars at 20k words) is gold really

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813826     Two Hour Vacation by ArgetCross    10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, pining, first time, past child abuse, 

“May I join you?” He asked, as if he didn’t expressly text Uraraka and Iida to hunt Midoriya down. Midoriya’s own phone had been off and Todoroki had silenced his own before coming. In a pinch, their friends knew where they were.

Even the life of a hero had to allow them this one night.

--

Or on the day of his father's funeral, Todoroki Shouto loses his virginity.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13421988     Everything Except by Pouler (poulerslashes)    28k, Midoriya/Todoroki, sex pollen, 

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15272805    your warmth is all i need by drifting_i     17k, Kirishima/Bakugou, AU, dragon!Kirishima, 

This is how it begins. Kirishima is running for his life.

His feet hit the earth hard and fast, he can’t feel it. They're on him now, he can smell them. Four to the left and six to his right. The sides of his arms grow red starting by the elbows. He curses silently. His throat burns.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17158511     winter doesn’t linger here by drifting_i     14k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Kirishima admits. “I mean, it’s break, man. For the first time in months we don’t have school breathing down our necks so we can finally hang out like we used to and I did miss you!”

“We saw each other last week,” Bakugou says, deflecting.

“Still.” Kirishima smiles sheepishly.  

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531774    had to be (you) by bigstupidjellyfish     11k, Kirishima/Bakugou, light bondage, kink exploration, 

do you ever just discover you have a kink in the least appropriate situation  

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331180    'Cause the Dark's Not Taking Prisoners Tonight by imatrisarahtops    52k, Kirishima/Bakugou, emotional h/c, bed sharing, mutual pining, slow burn,  

“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.

Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.

-

When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12794481    the easy parts by chonideno    11k, Kirishima/Bakugou, h/c, scars, 

Kirishima made it out alive but his body is covered in wounds that won't heal without leaving marks behind. He hides them away from the sight of others, away from his own, and he hates every part of it. Bakugou watches him reduce his own character to a parody of what it used to be, and he can't stand it.

Or how Bakugou and Kirishima learn to deal with these scars, with themselves, with each other.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947955    Glow by argentconflagration    1k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

Kirishima is warm and somehow far softer than a person with that much muscle definition has any right to be. His breath is tickling Katsuki’s hair, which should be uncomfortable but isn’t, and Katsuki can smell his hair gel, which is cloying and chemical but too familiar to be irritating. Katsuki sighs softly as his body continues to relax. His eyelids droop. Before long he’ll be slipping off into the throes of sleep.

Kirishima reaches forward and takes his hand, and his stomach flips. He immediately forces himself to relax, though. If it meant something like that to Kirishima, he wouldn’t be doing it, would he?

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17338961    sunchaser by chonideno    35k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, bed sharing, 

that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere

or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569586    Already Everything by roxashighwind    16k, Kirishima/Bakugou, body swap, deaf!Bakugou, 

He feels drunk and hungover at the same time, feels like he’s about an inch to the left of where he actually is and dizzy to boot. He tries to sit up and is filled with instant regret. He groans, and he can’t hear it though he feels the vibration of the sound in his chest and throat. He can’t hear anything. Why can’t he hear anything?

- Eijiro wakes up, but he's not himself.

A villain's body swapping quirk leads to admissions between friends, which leads to something more.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676416    This Changes Nothing by vulcanhighblood    68k, Kirishima/Bakugou, a/b/o, slow burn, 

First heats, even ones triggered by a classmate's "prank" gone awry, aren't supposed to take your quirk away. Then again, omegas aren't supposed to be in hero training, either.

Katsuki does enjoy defying expectations, just... not like this.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284061    dusk and dawn by bigstupidjellyfish   13k, Kirishima/Bakugou, sex pollen, biting, friends to lovers, 

sex pollen, again, yea    

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094788     Against All Odds, Thriving by jettiebettie    12k, Kirishima/Bakugou, pining, 

“The naked adoration! The loving caress! Lively colors accenting warm eyes and an endearing smile!”

“... I'm gonna go take a nap.” Bakugo is halfway out of his chair when Shiozaki turns the screen and he stops dead in his tracks.

Kirishima's face stares back at him with a look that nearly knocks the air out of his lungs. The expression he's giving the camera is tender, his pretty eyes full of fondness and framed by loose red bangs, with a small amused smile on his lips. The hand Bakugo used to manhandle his head into position has no right looking that gentle; his hands were never meant for gentleness to begin with, but to see his holding Kirishima's cheek like that... To see the way Kirishima is looking at him-

Bakugo slams the laptop shut. - Class A and Class B must complete a joint art assignment, and it honestly may be too much for Bakugo. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16261352    you can get what you want or you can just get old by hyperlight    55k, Kirishima/Bakugou, 13 going on 30, angst, suicide attempt, minor character death, happy ending, 

Bakugou gets a preview of what his future might be and doesn't like what he sees. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845740    Electrification of the Soul by cighail    8k, Sero/Kaminari, pining, 

So if he is a simple kid, then he will live by simple rules:

Make friends, make enemies; tease and be teased. Slip comedy into your words that garner the slightest bit of attention. Give and receive praise, criticism, advice, so long as it strays not too far from the norm. Become uniquely un-unique.

And ah- “Hanta, my dude, you’ve gotta check her out.”

Fall in love.

(In which Hanta is not as chill as he makes out to be)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14446512    Hero Class Civil Warfare by RogueDruid (Icarius51)    85k, gen, plotty plots, 

Heroes lead by Bakugo. Villains lead by Midoriya. Seven days prep time. Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

.

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The Umbrella Academy 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17890052    Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale    7k, gen, brotherly bonding, protectiveness, past drug abuse, 

Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number 5's parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17846012    Let Him Cry by Achrya    3k, Ben/Klaus, incest, first time, tentacles, drugs, 

“Ben is crying again.”

“Yeah well. Dad says it's just growing pains.” -- Klaus decides to help his brother out.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17962079    the devil's jaws are far too weak by ictus     1k, Ben/Klaus, incest, drug withdrawal, h/c, 

Truthfully, it’s far from the strangest thing Ben’s ever done. When you grow up in a family as sick and twisted as the Hargreeves’, jerking off your brother in a motel closet while you’re waiting for hired guns to come back and finish the job is barely a blip on the radar, even if he is technically dead and Klaus shouldn’t be able to feel him at all. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932085    Can Someone Tell Me (If It's Wrong) by merle_p    2k, Klaus/Ben/Diego, incest, emotional h/c, canon time travel, 

"Your favorite,” he adds, unnecessarily but correctly, because leave it to Klaus of all people to know what kind of candy he prefers. He is pretty sure not even Eudora ever had any clue just how much he liked the taste of the rainbow.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005399    Six of Cups, Four of Swords by prodigy    9k, Ben/Klaus, incest, drugs, addiciton, withdrawal, prostitution, 

Ben Hargreeves tries to keep his brother--and himself--on the devastating road to getting well. It doesn't go in a straight line. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860256    i scream, you scream by kyrilu    2k, vauge Ben/Klaus, introspection, 

One of Ben’s favorite childhood memories is eating ice cream with his family after they’d saved Paris from the rampaging Eiffel Tower.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17836067    Family Affairs by manic_intent    58k, Klaus/Ben/Diego, incest, time travel, post-canon, 

“This isn’t going to work,” Diego said, once everyone had stopped moaning on the grass and/or throwing up.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307292    the year that wasn't by achilleees   21k, Diego/Klaus, time loop, incest, 

Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

.

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Resident Evil 6

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2367419    hold on (we're going home) by viii    8k, Piers/Chris, 

no summary given, first paragraph:  

It's raining in Vancouver on the last day of November. Piers has been gone for six weeks. It hasn't been the longest he's been gone, but it hasn't been the shortest either. He doesn't know how he's going to find Chris when he pulls out the rusty key that he doesn't use as often as he should and unlocks the door to Chris's apartment.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774688    Crossed Out by deansparkles    47k, Piers/Chris, time-travel (kind of), pining, 

Piers Nivans is ready to die. That doesn't mean the universe has to agree with him.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031021    You, Me, and the Monster by AkumaStrife    5k, Piers/Chris, h/c, 

They pull Piers out of the ocean and patch him up as best they can, but some things will never be the same. Chris can't forgive himself and Piers doesn't trust himself, and between them is a chasm of things unspoken.

[Alternatively: Hospital Recovery fic in which Piers has to learn to live with the thing he's become.]

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Harry Potter

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025334    chalk this one up as a win by tamerofdarkstars     6k, Marcus Flint/Oliver Wood, soulmates, fluff, 

Oliver Wood wakes up in the Hospital Wing a week after his first Quidditch game ever with a head injury and his soulmate's thoughts wound around his left wrist.

Frankly, he's more concerned about missing the Quidditch game.

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Star Trek 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/856754    The Mark by thecadenceofherlastbreath    4k, Chekov/McCoy, soulmates, 

Prompt: AU where everything is the same, except everyone is born with a insignia, a mark that is unique to only two people in the world, that tells them who their soulmate is. Usually the two people are born on the same day, at the same time, but that doesn’t mean that aren’t circumstances where an age difference has happened.

Leonard McCoy was born without an insignia, only for one to appear on his 20th birthday. He always hated the idea that the one person he was supposed to be with being a child, and maybe that was why he married his high school sweetheart. And maybe, that was the fact their relationship fell apart six years later, and he made the choice to join Starfleet.

He had never really forgotten about his supposed soulmate, but it certainly wasn’t expected to be confronted with the seventeen year old Russian genius whose insignia, his insignia, their insignia, plastered so obviously on his neck…

I tweaked it just a little, but it's essentially that. Hope I didn't butcher the idea!

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468154    Now the Sons Look For Their Fathers/ But Their Fathers Are All Gone by Straight_Outta_Hobbiton    30k, gen, kid fic,

Leonard is exhausted, and there is a crying kid in front of him with a bowl-cut and pointed ears.

Of course he picks him up.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058476    infixion by Etharei    37k, Kirk/Spock, kidnapping, 

A mission of this duration has never been attempted. Just a few months in, the crew of the Enterprise are beginning to understand why – luckily, they are also, somehow, making it work. A series of events, both great and small; featuring cameos by unsuspecting planets, complicated interpersonal relationships, off-record shenanigans, and a surprising number of hostile life-forms.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15327285    Thy Soul, Alight In The Dark by Aerlalaith    51k, Kirk/Spock, AU, horror, mind control, possession, accidental bonding, 

When disgraced former Starfleet captain and current salvage runner James T. Kirk stumbles upon an abandoned Vulcan research vessel on the edge of Federation Space, he thinks he’s finally found some luck. The state of the ship and the fate of her original crew however, turn what was supposed to have been a standard day’s work into something quite a bit stranger. As Kirk and his crew debate if they can—or should—wake a sleeping survivor, it soon becomes clear that the nightmare is just beginning.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17246120    If Symptoms Persist by billiethepoet    7k, Kirk/Spock, pon farr, 

The aftereffects of pon farr do not go away as quickly as Spock would like everyone to believe. Jim can tell and he's ready and willing to help.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14913942    Mind Readers, Man! by dothedeux    12k, Kirk/Spock, Spock&Bones, 

After Spock is injured on a mission, he forms a mental link with Bones in order to survive. Afterwards, both men decide the link can come in handy at work, and that they should keep it in place. But as their friendship grows stronger, Jim struggles with his new feelings. It's basically a soap opera in space.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/996674    what legends are made of by Rosslyn    33k, Kirk/Spock, suspense, adventure, 

On a routine mission to a normal-looking planet, Kirk and Spock discover a strange cave. Seven handprints were carved into the wall — each moulded to a member of the senior bridge crew of the Enterprise. In order to investigate this anomaly, the entire crew beam down to the planet, and falls into a nightmare. -

Post-Mission Reviews attached under Enterprise Report 5-2261-7a:

"Is this a mission report, or the script of your blockbuster-wannabe holovid show, Kirk?" - Admiral Bennett "Suggestions to update Starfleet Official Course Material on relevant subjects, Captain" - First Officer Spock "Definitely too old for this shit" - Chief Medical Officer McCoy "I'm never beaming down without a bottle of Scotch again, mark my words" - Chief Engineer Scott "It was fun up until it happened to me" - Helmsman Sulu "Vodka cake deserved by all" - Navigator Chekov "Captain, should I put in a footnote explaining the farm animal reference?" - Communications Officer Uhura "That's it, privilege for PMRs closed. Kirk Out." - Captain Kirk

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135340     out of obscurity into the dream by spectralPhobia    87k, Kirk/Spock, AU, adventure, 

Started as a Tangled AU fusion with Star Trek 2009, developed into its own thing. Spock has lived an entire life in seclusion, brought up by a Romulan to believe he was one too. Convinced his telepathy was a rare gift that must be protected at all costs, he was prohibited to touch anyone and leave the house. Jim Kirk comes across him accidentally after he was hired to steal a Vulcan artefact. Together, they start an adventure of finding a soulmate in each other and preventing another catastrophe from happening after the artefact turns out to be a part of an ancient psionic weapon.

Also known as “How I almost died three times in two days and found my soulmate”, an autobiography by J.T. Kirk.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077361    a sequence that you never learned by annataylor    64k, Kirk/Spock, kid fic, fake marriage, 

"'Spock,' Jim breathes out, completely overwhelmed by the gesture—not quite believing that Spock knows him so well, that's he's already started researching, that he trusts Jim with a member of his own endangered species."

When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/208971    Of Twin Stars and Other Eccentric Satellites by winterhill    30k, Kirk/Spock, 

A year into the mission, Spock and Jim have got on with things and are well on their way to that great destined friendship -- or maybe more. There’s spanner in the works, though, when a group of colonists exploring an unknown part of New Vulcan go missing, and the Enterprise crew is called in to help. The problem? The Vulcan High Council has insisted they take a guide — Spock’s wife, T’Pring.  

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Voltron 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873321     Our Future Hearts by mizufallsfromkumo    4k, Lance/Shiro, time travel, established relationship, emotional h/c, 

“You know, you could warn a guy, if you’re going to drop out of nowhere.” The man said dramatically as he pulled his hand away.

It caused Shiro to look up from the note, in surprise, his brows pulling together. Because that wasn’t how it worked. There is nothing he can do in warning, he never knows where he’s going, and when he’ll end up.

“Not you you,” The man huffed with a roll of his blue eyes. Almost like he knew what Shiro was going to say. He gestured at Shiro lazily, before he grinned. “But, you know, older you can warn me. Scared me half to death, face planting in the grass like you did.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114160    Milkshakes by General_Button    6k, Lance/Shiro, male lactation, 

In order to ensure a fruitful alliance with a species of animal-like aliens called the Ankarine, Shiro takes one for the team and consumes a traditional dish that ends up having unforeseen consequences.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12593748    i need my monster by mettaverse    4k, Lance/Shiro, AU, injury, monster!Lance, h/c, 

“Are you okay?” asks a voice from under his bed.

Shiro stiffens. He holds his breath. Maybe it's the drugs-

“Hey,” says the voice. Then, a flicker in the peripherals of his vision is a- tail? Long and skinny, like it's out of an honest to god comic book, of all things. Like a devil's.“Are you okay?”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11343876    Hell and High Water by StarrBomb     39k, Lance/Shiro, AU, mermaids, 

All his life, he's known these three things.

The darkness.

Loneliness.

And fear.

But he soon comes to understand a much more different and harsher meaning behind these things. And somehow, he ends up finding something he never knew he needed.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019165    Twelve Nights by WildWolf25    19k, Shiro/Pidge, AU, trans character, She’s The Man au

“Matt, I think I can safely say that this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever come up with, including the time you thought you could put marshmallows in your hot chocolate before microwaving it and it exploded.” Katie said flatly.

“Come on, Katie, please?” Matt clasped his hands together in front of him. “I will pay you in jars of peanut butter. A lifetime supply of cookies. A trophy that says ‘best sibling in the world’. Whatever you want.”

“It’s not going to work, Matt.” Katie sighed. “Everyone’s going to know I’m not you.”

“But that’s the thing, I don’t know anyone at that school yet.” Matt said. “No one knows me, so no one will know that you’re not me.”

(Matt needs everyone to think he's at school for a couple of weeks and convinces Katie to disguise herself as him, leading to an awkward crush on his roommate, Shiro, a very ambitious astronomy class competition, new friends, and maybe some bruised hearts if the truth gets out)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12102285    Kafka's Revenge by Bellybits    21k, Keith/Lance, xenobiology, mild body horror, trans character, 

Keith's been worried about what his Galra genes meant for him for a while. He's been expecting some horrific transmutation, to turn into some kind of monster despite the comforts of his peers.

But he wasn't a monster, and it isn't a catastrophic change. It was slow and gradual in the way most metamorphoses were.

He had thought that going through two puberties was bad- and now he was having a third one. Great.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/17183669    Starbound by fenfyre (Jace)    3k, Lance/Shiro, pining, 

Lance expected nothing more but good company when Shiro showed up on the farm one day but old and new feelings soon catch up to them.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16873671    Good Luck Kiss by OverMyFreckledBody    1k, Lance/Shiro, accidental kissing, 

An accidental kiss leads to more... not so accidental ones.

.

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Teen Wolf

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/862347    Just Been Born by idyll    3k, gen, gender swap, trans!Derek, 

“The mage's spell seems to have changed your sex.”

Derek inhales raggedly, then slowly looks down at his chest—at his breasts.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012684     Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit    18k, Stiles/Derek, fake relationship, pining, 

“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.

--

Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1828693    Pinch Me by Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)    12k, Stiles/Derek(/Nogitsune), angst, possession, and then not, disassociation, identity issues, 

It doesn't work. When the nogitsune crumbles to ash, he's weakened, but he's right back in Stiles head with his damn riddles. And Stiles feels like he's not just losing control, but also losing himself.

But no one can lose their shadow.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118756    (Rode Hard) Put Away Wet by calrissian18    3k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking, 

As it turns out, the etiquette for joining a werewolf pack is a little bit more involved than saying, "Whatever, fine, I'm in." There's, like, stupid werewolf rules. Because someone put stupid werewolves in charge.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/577223    Highly Inappropriate by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato)    5k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, frottage, 

Derek was drugged and literally covered in blood and Stiles was about to crumple under the weight of guilt that came with being an impulsive idiot, but for some reason his dick wasn’t getting the message that this was by no means a sexy situation.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/644558     Flying Changes by otter     10k, Stiles/Derek, AU, horsies, 

Derek's a dressage rider with a reputation for frowning and making people cry. Stiles is an acrobatic stunt rider whose resume includes medieval-themed dinner shows and the actual circus. Derek's an Olympian, he doesn't need this shit. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/614271    Dog Days by flaming_muse     15k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!Derek, 

Stiles has always wanted a dog, so he should be happy when he finds himself suddenly in possession of one, right? Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that. Or, the one where Derek is turned into a puppy.

pre-slash set after season 2, no spoilers for season 3

warnings for humor, all of season two, repercussions of canonical deaths, brief panic attacks, lots of adverbs, and Stiles hitting his head a few times

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/586648     Bingo by betp    23k, Stiles/Derek, sex pollen, 

Derek scowls.

Or, the one that was supposed to be every item on the Sterek bingo chart and ended up being a Derek manpain feels jamboree.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/798827    Switching Goals by betp    3k Stiles/Derek, rule 63, established relationship, 

“You’re kind of cute,” Lydia says, changing the subject, “in a sort of… lost baby squirrel in a pixie cut sort of way.”

“Great,” he says, fumbling ineptly with the clasp on the bra. “Th… thanks, Lydia, that’s… quite the endorsement. I’m vermin.”

Lydia and Erica peaceably watch him fuck around with the hooks for a full five minutes, this look on their faces like justice is finally being delivered. Stiles refuses to lose his temper with the thing in front of them, so he just doggedly keeps at it. Eventually, Lydia says, “We might have to invest in a frontal clasp for you.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/665066     let me in lover, be kind by orphan_account    3k, Stiles/Derek, emotional smut, 

It's a cosmic balancing act.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591744     (this isn’t exactly) where you’d want me by decideophobia    19k, Stiles/Derek, AU, pining, doctor!Derek, snark, 

“Do you even have any nice and soothing words in your repertoire?” Stiles asks, holding still while McBroody shines a light into his eyes. “Or is it only me who they let you loose on?”

“I actually just downloaded a new set of comforting phrases to use on patients this morning but I haven’t had a chance to listen to and internalize them yet. I do know how to say, Good news: you’re not dead, and We only need to take off one of your legs, though.”

OR, the one where Stiles keeps ending up in the ER and Derek almost gets brain damage from so much stupid.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13001157    Detect by twilight_shades    9k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Derek is a fake psychic (that’s an accident). Stiles goes to work for him (that’s deliberate). Stiles is pretty good at figuring things out (that’s alarming). Derek is pretty slow at figuring himself out (that’s unsurprising).

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/946982    The Newlywed Game by Captain_Loki    19k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, UST, 

Stiles is (still) single when the pack's getaway to the Caribbean comes by (oh misplaced optimism); lucky for him Derek is committed to being uncommitted and even after all these years is still powerless against Stiles' unique forms of persuasion.

Cue a romantic getaway for two: sun, sand, and sarcasm abound...and the two roped into competing in the Resort's version of the Newlywed game. Only it's completely obvious it's going to end in disaster. Probably homicide.

Most probably homicide.

Plot twist: It doesn't.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/581046     things that fly, but cannot land by growlery writes (growlery)    12k, Lydia/Stiles/Allison, AU, poly, 

If Allison has to explain to one more person that she is not dating her ex-boyfriend’s best friend (and really, she broke up with Scott so long ago that the ‘ex-boyfriend’ part has mostly dropped off that title) she is going to explode. Especially now that Stiles has a girlfriend of his own, a girlfriend Allison is definitely not attracted to. Or jealous of. Danny has no idea what he’s talking about, except for the fact that he actually kind of does.

(or, the one where Allison writes about werewolves, Stiles is her roommate and everyone is in love with Lydia.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16485551     With Eyes, and Hands to Touch by red_crate    37k, Stiles/Derek, AU, teenage!Derek, accidental voyeurism, 

The summer before high school starts, and all Stiles wants to do is hang out with Scott and work on his plan to win over Lydia.

But then Scott's brother, Derek, becomes an accidental distraction.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177544    Dangerous Curves & Divine Moves by TaraSoleil    30k, Stiles/Derek, rule 63, 

When Stiles wakes up as a girl, there's only one thing he can think to blame: the nogitsune. And that bastard didn't leave any instructions on how to turn him back to normal. Now Stiles is the only one freaking out, and Derek is being weird(er).

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195975    Stupid Say What? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    8k, Stile/Derek, accidental relationship, 

Stiles shoved another bite into his mouth, glancing over at Boyd and Erica. Boyd was smiling down into his eggs benedict and Erica was grinning at Stiles.

He frowned in confusion, his chewing slowing. Tucking the food into one cheek, he asked, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just nice. I like when the four of us come out together. Our little double dates,” she teased, stabbing her fork into a strawberry and putting it between her lips.

Stiles snorted at her comment, since this wasn’t a double date—he wished—but didn’t comment on it because he liked their outings, too. Even if he whined incessantly about it until he got there, it was always a good time.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16813009    Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    68k, Stiles/Derek, AU, mates, puns,

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wowthis guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17785586    Strike Me A Match by clotpolesonly    11k, Stiles/Derek, superhero!Stiles, pining, soulmates, 

Derek stared at the reporter on the campus lounge’s television screen, gleefully reporting on Ignition’s latest fight. Behind her floated a photograph of him mid-battle, zoomed in on where his bodysuit had been slashed open across his left shoulder blade. It was a little blurry, a little pixelated, but more than clear enough to get a good look at the black mark on the bare skin there.

“Oh shit,” came Erica’s delighted voice as she dropped down onto the couch beside Derek. “Let the circus begin!”

Derek’s his heart dropped; circus was right. He resisted the impulse to reach for the spot on his own shoulder blade that itched and burned. It wouldn’t do him any good. He could make all the calls, send in all the verifiably undoctored photos of identical marks, make all the noise and fuss he wanted. With the buzz and the confusion, it wouldn’t matter. No one would believe him.

True match-ups never made it through a circus like this.

--

In which Derek discovers his soulmate is a superhero too far out of his reach to ever actually be with. But it doesn't feel right to flirt back at Stiles now either, no matter how much Derek wants to. Amazing or not, he's not Derek's soulmate.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650299    What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)   196k, Stiles/Derek, soulmates, pining, 

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008223     tasting heartbeats in skin tears by OverMyFreckledBody    5k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, ust, licking, untimely boners, 

After a battle resulting in Stiles getting a cut on his face, he discovers that the werewolf healing can be transferred through the saliva. After that, he seems to be a magnet for getting hurt - more so than usual.

Derek is surprisingly helpful about it all. Now, only if Stiles could get through their licking sessions without embarrassing himself.

[Or, 5 Times Derek Healed Stiles with his Magic Werewolf Spit + the 1 Time He Left a Mark of his Own.]

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936444     Care for Me, As I've Never Known by lavenderlotion    2k, pre-Peter/Stiles, 

“Why...why did you offer me the bite?” Stiles asked quietly, the cover of night and the hum of the Jeep’s engine giving him courage he wouldn’t usually have.

Peter hummed thoughtfully, taking a turn smoothly. “That is quite the question you’re asking. I’m not sure the answer is one you would be happy to hear.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9318200      Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack     26k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

"Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained.

Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555949     Child King by ShanaStoryteller    66k, light Stiles/Derek, AU, 

Stiles is born with red eyes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17049731    No Mercy by Gia279    64k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

The story of the Boy King was this: when he was sixteen, the Stilinski kingdom was at war with the Novak kingdom. King John was on the front lines with his soldiers when his teenage heir came to check in with him. The king was struck down in a nighttime attack, in front of the boy. The boy took up the king’s dropped sword, mounted his war steed, and slaughtered the enemy forces.

When the remaining soldiers surrendered, he cut them down with his father’s sword and returned home a boy king with a bloodstained reputation.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16919445     Let It Burn Fast by RurouniHime    32k, Stiles/Derek, sex magic, pining, 

“So.” Stiles rubs his thighs, snaps his fingers again restlessly and looks around. “Thoughts? Comments? Revisions you’d like to submit for consideration?”

Derek weighs it. “Stiles, are you asking me to have sex with you for the good of the pack?”

“I—yeah.” Stiles blinks a couple times, then smiles again. “Yeah, I guess I am. That is the thing that I am doing.”

(or, the one where Stiles proposes no-strings-attached sex for Magical Reasons and Derek somewhat unwisely agrees.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850138     Love Story by skoosiepants    3k, Stiles/Derek, 

"Huh." Derek looks less concerned than Stiles thinks this situation warrants, but his hands wander up to cup his face and his mouth opens up over his again and all the bones in Stiles's legs melt, so he has to, like, prop himself up against Derek's entire front.

Derek says, "Okay?" when he pulls back slightly and Stiles manages an eloquent, "Buh."

Or –

A spell made them do it. Sure, Stiles. That works.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17757842     Open Your Eyes, Don't Walk Blind by Ragga    14k, Derek/Stiles/Peter, pining, Sheriff & Cora brotp

The Sheriff of Beacon Hills could be called many things but willingly blind was not one of them. When the supernatural world was shoved before his eyes and he found his son right in the middle of it, there was no other choice for him but to follow in Stiles' footsteps. And he did, willingly; there was nothing in the world he wouldn't do for him.

He just wasn't expecting to find out the things he did while learning how to swim in the deep.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869391     Once Upon a Dream by Ragga    19k, Peter/Stiles, dream walking, h/c, 

It was like the door was on fire.

Stiles stood there, staring. As the realization sunk in, he slowly reached for the doorknob. He grabbed it. It burned, as if blazing hot and freezing cold at the same time. He was stuck, fascinated, and then the door clicked-

-and he was blasted with rage and grief so powerful the next thing he saw was the ceiling of his room.

Who was that?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223467    There’s No Escape for the Potato Man by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    53k, Stiles/Derek, AU, texting, 

“Who is this? Where’s Erica?”

“Wrong number, asshole!”

“Stop calling me an asshole,” the man on the other end snapped aggressively.

Stiles could understand. He’d be pretty aggressive too if he’d murdered someone and texted a wrong number to ask for help burying the body. This guy obviously failed How To Be a Serial Killer 101.

“What kind of idiot thinks I murdered someone?”

“The kind of idiot who got your text messages, you fucking dumbass!” he retorted hotly. “Maybe double check your contacts before sending a random stranger details on your nefarious plans to dispose of a freshly cut up body!”

“What?!” the guy on the other end demanded, crossed between horrendously confused and livid.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849630    like black moonrise (his voice fell still) by OverMyFreckledBody    1k, Stiles/Derek, UST, oral kink, 

"Shut up," Derek rumbles, close, dangerously close.

"Or I'll make you."

-- He does.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12510356    kisses unclean like the words you say by Omorika (Zercalo)    19k, Stiles/Derek, psuedo-incest, 

There are less torturous things than to live under the same roof with Derek Hale (and his entire family) - it's just that Stiles can't think of any right now. 

.   https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682198    You’re an Understatement (you’re getting worse) by LadySlytherin     13k, Stiles/Derek, AU, neckz’n’throats, 

Erica’s goal in life was to be hired by Neckz’n’Throats. Not as a model, though she knew she was hot enough for that. No, she wanted to be behind the camera. And to do that, she needed two things. A glowing recommendation, and a portfolio that would grab their attention; that would make them take her seriously. For that, she needed the right models. Thankfully, she knew just who to ask. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2124261     I’ll take hold of you by Lessandra    30k, Stiles/Derek, AU, touch kink, 

If Stiles could boil his life down to one moment, it would be this: his hand in Derek’s hand, radiating warmth as they sit together—on the edge of the forest, in Stiles’s living room, on the terrace of Derek’s house, wherever—and wait for the morning to come. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/998921    Stiles, why is Derek Hale passed out on our front porch? by marguerite_26, mothlights     4k, Stiles/Derek, bonding, h/c, 

Stiles doesn't hear the knock on his front door, but he figures there must have been one, because now his dad's calling out to him,

"Stiles, do you know why Derek Hale just passed out on our front porch?"

Stiles freezes, carton of milk half way to his mouth. He looks around the empty room, wondering if it has any answers. Derek Hale just passed out on his front porch -- sounds like one of the signs of the coming apocalypse.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17216009    Risky Business by skoosiepants     14k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Stiles stumbles back when Derek takes a step toward him, but still says, "Tell me, did you offer Isaac, Erica and Boyd 'the bite,' too?" He's not proud of the air quotes he uses, but it's too late to rethink them now—Derek lunges at him with a growl and Stiles trips over his own feet and falls on his ass on the rocky ground. "What the fuck, Derek?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Derek says. He crouches over Stiles, insanely thick thighs bracketing Stiles's raised knees. His eyes flash red.

Stiles sucks in a breath, heart beating high and terrified in his throat. He barely has enough breath to rasp, "What the fuck?" again.

There's a growl low in Derek's chest. He says, "You can tell Scott that if he shows up with you, the deal's off."

or -

An AU where Scott was never bit by Peter Hale, Derek actually manages to be a good alpha, and Stiles gets kidnapped a lot.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268102    Blackbird by skoosiepants    25k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Stiles groans and drops his face into his hands. “I’m seventeen, I can kind of use mountain ash and I can explode houses when I’m mad enough. How am I gonna win any kind of magic fight?”

“We’ll work on it,” Deaton says, as infuriatingly calm as ever. “The important thing to remember, Stiles, is that when everything else is chaos, you’re the port in the storm.”

Or-

Laura Hale never died, and Stiles is magic.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/34660     Tell me what Pack Means series by afullrevolution     22k, Stiles/Derek, AU, space, cuddling, 

Fourteen days into a two year mission, Stiles finds out that his companion for the voyage is a werewolf. Stiles wants to know what it means.    

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822248    Tell me Where it Hurts by Gia279    45k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Derek, curses, 

Stiles learns to do magick and Derek is cursed to walk the woods on four legs and keep his silence. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17415641    Under the Wolf Moon (Formerly Erase/Rewind) by Pdxtrent    102k, Siles/Derek, canon-AU, fix-it, slow build, 

Laura Hale has disappeared. But from there, things go very very differently. Expect adults acting like adults, and actual communication and not terrible decision making.

************************************

He packed a bag as quickly as he could and grabbed his passport just in case. He looked around the apartment, glanced at his sister’s closed bedroom door and then walked out.

An hour later he was at the airport.

Two hours after that he was in the air.

Seven hours after that he was touching down in San Francisco.

Another hour and he was getting into the rental car that would take him to literally the last place on earth he ever wanted to return: Beacon Hills, California.

Four hours later he stopped in Redding for food and gas. He hated Redding. He hated California. He hated every hour that took him closer to Beacon Hills and to the memories he couldn’t escape. He knew that, most of all, he hated himself. Death and disaster followed him like a shadow. First it was Paige, then his family, and now Laura was missing.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387539    I'll be right back (in 24 years) by AnaIsFangirling (Ana_K_Lee)    48k, Stiles/Derek, time travel, de-aged!Derek, slow build, fix-it, 

When Derek thought about time travel – and he did, a lot – this was not what he'd had in mind. He'd thought he would see his younger self, tell him to leave Paige alone and NEVER trust Kate Argent. He'd thought he’d get to come back once that was done and everything would be perfect. He never imagined having to relive his entire life.

comment: can i just.. highlight that “entire life”, is entirely literal and i am LIVING for it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/579880    Derek Hale's Seduction Techniques by omelet    6k, Stiles/Derek, pining, 

It doesn't sit well with Stiles, the thing at the police station and with Erica. It niggles at him from the back of his mind, screaming PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Because Derek's apparently familiar enough with flirting to do it successfully, like it's something that comes naturally to him, but what kind of broody misanthropic guy flirts?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/32393    Most Important Meal of the Day series by peroxidepest17     11k, Stiles/Derek, 

The one where Derek is like a box of Kix (or something).

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045495    Unbroken by Piscaria    43k, Stiles/Derek, cancer, werewolf!Stiles, made them do it, bloodplay, mating bond, 

When Stiles starts getting sick, he assumes his appetite loss and lethargy stem from the darkness the Nemeton left in his heart. But soon enough, even he can’t deny that he’s showing the same symptoms his mom had. When he's forced to face the truth about his illness, Stiles finds himself making a choice he never thought he’d make.    

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13119609    Start Small, Like Oak Trees by SmallBirds    24k, Stiles/Derek, the sheriff is amazing, 

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful. He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748945    Scrubbing Bubbles by MargaretKire    46k, Stiles/Derek, AU, scent kink, 

Stiles thought it would be easy doing janitorial work for an office. At first, it really was. The job only took a few hours in the evenings and it helped pay for rent and college. Sure, Hale Industries took up an entire floor in one of the downtown financial buildings, but the place was new and easy to care for. He didn’t even have to spend much time cleaning the huge corner office, because the trash was nearly always empty and the office itself was spotless, like no one used it.

It was basically the perfect college job. At least, until the boss started staying late.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4273428    Into The Open Air by Acherona, trulywicked    99k, Stiles/Derek, AU, kid fic, huamn alpha!Stiles, 

It was a little strange moving back to Beacon Hills. His daughter becoming enchanted with his odd and very attractive neighbor didn't really help matters.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560651    What Goes Around by KouriArashi    71k, Stiles & Peter, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, BAMF!Stiles, killer!Stiles, 

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”

It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.

Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14716970    Truth and Consequences by KouriArashi    45k, Peter/Stiles, slow build, h/c

“The place you give the Bite has meaning," Derek says. "Biting someone on the side is to make them your beta. It makes them your subordinate, but it also invites them into the pack with the full protection of the alpha. Biting someone on the legs indicates that you’re turning them to an omega. And biting someone on the arm, particularly the wrist, turns someone as your equal. It’s a mating ritual.”

Stiles nearly chokes on a mouthful of granola. “A what?”  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070471    With or Without You by KouriArashi    62k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fake dating, UST, mating rituals, 

Derek thinks that the mating rituals are overly romanticized bullshit, but claiming a mate and defending them from challengers is something werewolves do, and his pack can't afford to appear weak after the fire. Especially not when Deucalion and his friends are in town for the rituals. Enter Stiles Stilinski, who offers to let Derek claim him so he won't be overrun at the ceremonies. Nothing goes as expected.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/485744    The Domestication of Canis Lupus by zoemathemata    3k, pre-Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek, 

The age old story of a boy and his dog werewolf. They play in the woods, they go for walks. They don’t talk about it. Ever.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/629986   til the earth dies with the sun by callunavulgari    11k, Stiles/Derek,female!Derek, mythology, 

“What are you doing to yourself, Derek?” — In which there is a retelling of season one, wolf pelts of selkie-esque origins, Derek fucking up, and Derek realizing that she can, in fact, forgive herself.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/532745     In quiet, a favor by Helenish    12k, Stiles/Derek, 

“You like happy endings, huh?” Stiles says, lying pressed in against his back, sliding his fingers along the edge of Derek’s chest, along his ribs and up his sternum. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/550685    this boy, half-destroyed by M_Leigh     25k, Stiles/Derek, derek hale and his infinite pain, 2pov, 

"Bodies – those are something you understand, mostly; you know immediately exactly how much smaller he is than the last time you saw him. Too skinny, too pale; his cheeks cave in a little too much, from his face. He’s a shadow of something: he looks like the dead walking. His hands are stuffed down in the pockets of his hoodie and he looks tentative but not afraid."

Derek Hale used to have a family. Now, he's got a teenage human more trouble than he's worth. Post-S2.

2nd pov done RIGHT

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/730880    Rattle This Ghost Town by whiskey_in_tea    20k, Stiles/Derek, pack dynamics, 

The Second Annual Totally Democratic Meeting of the Equals of the Beacon Hills Werewolf Pack does not go any better than the first one did.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509980    Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363    87k, Peter/Stiles, AU, PTSD, captivity, trauma, touch starved, pack bonding, 

Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.

Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.

Stiles is sixteen when he's captured. Stiles's first thought is, "I won't die here."

dark af but deep and lovely and definitely one of the best fics i’ve ever read

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274371    Bad Blood by DiscontentedWinter    62k, Stiles/Derek, Peter&Stiles, AU, hunter hunting!Stiles, murder,

Stiles Stilinski was taken from Beacon Hills when he was ten years old. Now, six years later, he’s a trained hunter, and he’s back to help the Argents finish the job they started.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6798541    Wolfsbane by DiscontentedWinter    48k, Stiles/Derek, AU, torture, captivity, kate argent as a warning, 

Kate Argent has kept a little trophy of the Hale fire for all these years - Derek Hale. When Deputy Stiles Stilinski finds him, he doesn't just need to rescue Derek from the Argents. He needs to rescue Derek from his past.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981762    hold on to me because i'm a little unsteady by starcanopus    6k, Stiles/Derek, AU, time travel, hale family, 

“Derek.” Stiles casts a slightly nervous glance around the cafeteria, eyes widening. He's a little surprised that Stiles knows his name.

Derek can feel his teammates’ gazes on him, can hear their confused whispers. He doesn’t care. There’s just…something about Stiles, and despite his parents’ warnings (“be careful of that Stilinski boy, son, he doesn’t feel right”), Derek wants to know more. He wants to know why Stiles is always alone and why, despite the sarcastic grin that seems permanently etched over his lips, he sometimes reeks of grief and rage.

“Can I sit here?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153006    Sleep Awhile by allyasavedtheday    7k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, fluff, 

Stiles and Derek decide to take part in some mutually beneficial naptime  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/628714    The Mending That You Need by torakowalski    3k, Stiles/Derek, subdrop, aftercare, 

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/824824    Wash Me Clean by tigerlady (shetiger)    37k, Stiles/Derek, first time, scent marking, watersports, ritualistic sex, 

Derek doesn't know what the alpha pack is planning, so all he can do is keep watch on everyone they might target. Stiles is so not on board with that plan. Somehow their clash of wills leads to a sexual relationship Derek knows he should put an end to—if he can just get himself to do so.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/673925    That's What Friends Are For by tigerlady (shetiger)     6k, Scott/Stiles, genderswap, first time, 

Somehow, Scott managed to wind up on the wrong end of a genderswapping spell.

Turns out, it's not a completely bad thing.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/558702    he pushed inside and made me new by tigerlady (shetiger)    11k, Lydia/Stiles, fuck buddies, 

"I love Jackson," she says as soon as she's close enough that she doesn't have to raise her voice.

"Okay?" Stiles glances left to right, like her meaning is crouched in the darkness somewhere. "I love Taco Tuesdays. Back to you."

They go back to school in the fall, and everyone acts like it's all okay. Like none of it ever happened. That's all right, because Lydia could have an Oscar someday. If she wanted one.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580295   How We Got Here by Areiton    9k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, domestic fluff, didn’t know they were dating, 

Maybe if you fight the creatures of the night together like they did, if you bury enough friends and strangers and enemies, you don’t lose touch.

He thinks that’s why he and Derek are friends--because Derek understands his nightmares, understands the nights when he can’t talk, and the nights he can’t stand the dark.

OR: Against all odds and expectations, Stiles and Derek have become respectable adults ( WHY?) and friends.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030350    Unlucky Ace by MissAnnThropic    41k, Laura/OMC, Stiles/Derek, 

Laura Hale brings her boyfriend home to meet the family, and there is something absolutely terrifying about the Hales.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740541    Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter    56k, Peter/Stiles, past torture, PTSD, scars, 

The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.

It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16619414    Baby Daddy by DiscontentedWinter   55k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, 

Laura Hale decides it's time to expand her pack. And Stiles could really use the money. And Derek... well, that's when things get complicated.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195734    Home by TheTypewriterGirl    167k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, depression, 

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943391    Whatever Works by KouriArashi    61k, Peter/Stiles, Stiles/Derek, soulmates, asexuality, aromantic, polyamory, 

The problem with having your soulmate's first words to you tattooed on your arm is knowing your whole life that you're fated to be with a jerk. It's enough to make Stiles want to date other people ... which is how he winds up dating his soulmate's nephew.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070788    Call My Name by KouriArashi    81k, Peter/Stiles, mystery, angst, mental health issues, mating bond, 

After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388196    A Match Unmade in Beacon Hills by KouriArashi    47k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, pining, 

Derek met his soulmate Kate Argent when he was 15, and he's tried for years to understand why his soulmate is so cruel to him. Then he meets Stiles Stilinski, who has no soulmate mark, an extremely rare phenomenon. Stiles thinks that he's destined to be alone forever, but apparently fate has other plans...

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533796    Devil of Mercy by KouriArashi    82k, Peter/Stiles, AU, mystery, mating bond, sexual assault, prostitution, pack politics, 

Peter's heard people talk about what it felt like when they saw their mate for the first time, from those who actually believe in the mystical bullshit. Like a magnet, like gravity. Peter just feels... sharply curious.

.

.

Marvel

all of the universes

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826525     in cayenne and honey, in vinegar and lime by alby_mangroves, Nonymos   27k, M’Baku/Bucky, Steve/Bucky, enemies to lovers, 

M’Baku fought for T’Challa. But should he keep fighting for T’Challa’s vision? The king is professing change, such deep change, while the Jabari are supposed to be the guardians of tradition.

It’s a complex problem, which demands a cool head. So M’Baku could really do without an old love coming back to haunt him, an obnoxious royal teenager, and T’Challa’s secret one-armed guest.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437236    taking everyone for a ride by Nonymos    49k, Venom/Eddie, Venom/Eddie/Dan/Anne, poly, all the kink, 

Things Eddie Brock flirts with on a regular basis: death, insanity, his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, and also the alien symbiote that lives inside his body. Not bad for a loser with no game, really.

- Everything by Nonymos is pure gold, honestly.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823671     despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario)    71k, Steve/Bucky, body horror, drug withdrawal, angst, touch starved

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8615512    Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta    2k, Steve/Bucky, AU, wrong number, 

“I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

“Someone who’s watching you live on TV,” Bucky tells him as the tiny patriotic figure on the screen takes the turns like he instructed. Bucky should probably be a lot more freaked out about this, but honestly? After a tour in the Middle East and six years as a nurse in New York, even this isn’t enough to ruffle him. One sees a lot of shit in the ER. “Also, you better hang up now, that thing is behind the next bend.”

“Uh, okay,” Captain America says. “Thanks?”

“Whatever,” Bucky says, disconnects the call and turns the TV off to get ready for his shift.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1583054    Come To Morning by orphan_account    4k, Steve/Bucky, 

He figured it was natural, kind of—well, not natural, but he and Steve spent a lot of time together, and Steve didn’t get so much attention from girls, which was a crying shame because he was a good guy and a girl could do a lot worse. But it meant maybe Steve got a bit confused, because sometimes he would look at Bucky with this look. This bright, astonished look, like he was seeing something so good he couldn’t quite believe it was real. It made Bucky squirm inside, a little.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2628242    Kiss Me Hello by kehinki    5k, Steve/Bucky, fluff, 

Bucky and Steve take to kissing each other hello, goodbye, goodnight. It's all very platonic until it isn't.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3765634    Painted in Indigo by nekare    11k, Steve/Bucky, pining, 

“You should be careful of that one,” Mr. Hendrickson says, with a nod to Bucky outside the window. “It ain’t right. Looking at you all the time as he does. The way he should be looking at girls.”

Steve laughs, because damn, but what a ridiculous idea.

Or, five times Steve caught Bucky looking at him, and the one time he looked first.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2365754    all different names for the same thing by becausemagnets    11k, Steve/Bucky, asexual character, 

"Doesn’t mean that much, you know. Plenty of guys go down to the docks every once in a while, get themselves taken care of. Their shoes shined.” He sneered at Steve, but Steve wasn’t looking at him, lost in something he’d probably never tell Bucky about. “Some of ‘em got wives and kids and everything. Sail all the way around the world to get it in Brooklyn. I’m, uh, I’m pretty good at it. Shining shoes, I mean. At least as good as a dame you’d pay for, probably. It wouldn’t mean anything if we-- did that. I mean, I could be the punk, that’s not a--”

“Bucky, shut up.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3520175    hold me until we crumble by queenklu    22k, Steve/Bucky, 

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537363    Silent thunder, as of a thousand wings by kaasknot    83k, Steve/Bucky, AU, angel!Bucky, pining, angst, 

A theologian once said that angels are constructs of love and holy rage, and chained to obedience through both. Or maybe a theologian hadn't said that. Maybe it was the Bright One himself, or just Uriel being grumpy.

But Bucky knows that he loves Steve, and he loves his taskmaster of a boss even as he gripes about him over beers after work, and he loves the dames with their red, red lips and smooth, soft curves (and he loves the guys, loves their strength and the tall, proud lines of them), and he loves old Mrs. Greene even when her rheumatism acts up and she turns mean as a wet cat. But he loves Steve most of all, and if Bucky is shackled to mindless obedience because of it, he calls it a good trade, because Steven Grant Rogers is the best person he knows. When it comes down to it, he figures his desire only adds a new dimension to a love that was already there, glowing hot enough to burn.

He was sent to Earth in a cage of mortal flesh to watch over Steve, and Bucky can do no less than love him with all his heart.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955    Out of the Dead Land by orphan_account    62k, Steve/Bucky, identity issues, h/c, 

Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920351    Try jumping by brokentoy    1k, Steve/Bucky, frottage, 

His legs tighten their hold and Steve grunts, pushes his head back until it thumps against the floor and Bucky looks up, takes advantage of the moment and fists his hand into Steve’s hair, right at the nape of his neck.

��’Say uncle,’’ he says.

‘’Nope’’, Steve answers.

He pulls his hand a little, ‘’Come on.’’ Steve’s head arches with it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560899    Jonathan to his David by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)    9k, Steve/Bucky, codependency, small dick,

Before, Bucky loved Steve's size. After, he falls in love with the whole package.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825195    The Unlikely Summoner by Kryptaria    4k, Steve/Bucky, AU, demon!Bucky, 

The fallen angel Buchuel has been summoned to the mortal world many times. Its powers have toppled kingdoms and destroyed armies. It thought it had seen it all... until a lonely young man from Brooklyn, seeking a good luck charm, accidentally summons Buchuel.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181292    Targets And Taking by Salmon_Pink    Peter/Flash Thompson, bullying, 

He's left his bruises on Parker, but Parker's left a mark somewhere under Flash's skin.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11211306   The Man in the Mask by thelonebamf    21k, Wade/Peter, AU,

When Wade is unceremoniously dropped off into the custody of one Dr. Parker, he assumes the man has only the worst possible intentions for one of the world's last remaining mutants. But it turns out, the universe still holds plenty of surprises for them both.   

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12292941   From the Mouths of Babes by CAPSING    6k, Wade/Peter, age difference, internalized victim blaming, 

“There’s a guy who’s been flirting with me.” “Mhmm,” Ned turns to Peter, swallowing his bite. “Is he hot?”

(Or: Deadpool starts hitting on Spider-Man, unaware he’s a minor; ignorance turns up not to bring any bliss to either of them.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16667122    The Devil All The Time by LeafyGreenQueen773    6k, Wade/Peter, AU, crush, catholic guilt, 

AU: Peter doesn't have powers, but Wade does. Peter Parker was raised Catholic by his parents, and Uncle Ben took up the gauntlet of taking Peter to mass every Sunday. Now that Ben is gone, Peter feels guilty all the time. His emerging sexuality doesn't help.

Excerpt: Peter slipped a hand under the waistband of his pajama pants; he was already hard, and sensitive. The moment he wrapped his hand around himself, he felt a bead of moisture drip out of him. “Oh God,” he murmured into the darkness. Guilt surged into his chest. With a groan, Peter pulled his hand out of his pants and grabbed onto the sheet instead. He turned onto his side and forced himself to close his eyes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242423    Arachnid meets Mercenary (and is happier for it) by landunderwave   11k, Wade/Peter, emotional h/c, first time, loneliness, 

Spiderman is strong, fast, self-confident, sassy. Peter Parker is awkward, nerdy, socially graceless, and visibly not-human. They are both so very lonely. Enter stage left, one Merc with a Mouth, aka Deadpool, aka Wade Winston Wilson, booty-seeker extraordinaire. Also secretly lonely. Will they overcome their hangups and fall in love? Definitely, it's written in the tags.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647748    A Study of Stairways by sparkstarthetrashcan    14k, Wade/Peter, AU, ghost fic, 

Wade Wilson is a bad student. Poor grades, no attention span and not a soul to help him. Even if he tries to study he’s always distracted by his phone or a supernaturally attractive boy who showed up out of nowhere, whispering answers in his ear.

Peter, almost got into Harvard, Parker spends his time tutoring students. He’s smart enough and he’s got nothing else to do, so he might as well. But Wade’s different. He doesn’t seem to want Peter for his brain like everyone else, Wade cares about him.

Problem is, Peter isn’t normal. He’s a ghost.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664023    Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for    73k, Wade/Peter, Peter/Johnny Storm, AU, mutant!Peter, age difference, slow burn, pining, 

Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/561716    We Might Be Radioactive by Croik    48k, Bruce/Peter, age difference, 

Peter misses his chance at saving the world alongside the Avengers, but he's not out. When he scales Stark Tower hoping to meet Tony (and possibly secure a seat on the team) he instead meets Bruce, who has taken up a temporary residence while he continues his Hulk research. The two bond over science-y things, but between Bruce's dry spell, Peter's teen hormones, and the secret identities they're still coming to grips with themselves, it doesn't take long for things to get complicated.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6578101    Calenture by Florentium    12k, Steve/Bucky, first time, body dysphoria, gender roles, 

A heatwave has had Steve and Bucky cooped up in the tenement for the past couple of days and Steve is starting to wear out.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599046    there's nothing left of you by notallbees    22k, Steve/Buck, pining, body dysphoria, emotional h/c, 

Bucky’s having a hard time reconciling Captain America with the friend he left behind in Brooklyn. It’s bad enough that every time he closes his eyes he sees the inside of a torture chamber. Now, every time he opens them again, he sees a stranger with Steve Rogers’ eyes and smile. 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907179    Strays by snarklyboojum    33k, Steve/Bucky, semi-accidental voyeurism, weaponized music, surveillance, 

After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America.

Or: Bucky Barnes, accidental millennial.

.

.

Naruto 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11500380    I'm falling for your eyes (but they don't know me yet) by blackkat   1k, Shisui/Naruto, gender fluid character, 

Shisui is done. Gone. That’s it for him, he’s toast.

(Or, Shisui is in love. Naruto is mostly oblivious. Everyone else is entirely convinced that Shisui is a creeper.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726795   How To Survive The Weirdest Experience Of Your Life by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)    40k, Obito/Kakashi, everybody lives nobody dies, post time travel fix-it, PTSD, 

Obito has lived through the single weirdest experience of his life. Not many could say that they'd gotten crushed by a boulder, had half their body replaced by creepy alien flesh, was promptly held captive for a year by a supposed-to-be-dead Madara Uchiha, was saved by a randomly raiding pack of supervillains, then promptly killed by them, fixed up again, then dumped in a forest, and finally, FINALLY, returned home again.

Yeah.

His life has gotten pretty weird. But he's home, he has his family, and he has hope that someday soon he'll be able to say he didn't just survive the experience - but that he also come out of it pretty okay.

(Sequel to How To Save The World)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084685    kintsukuroi by tomorrowsrain    26k, Obito/Kakashi, AU, 

In which Kakashi and Obito survive the Kyuubi attack, get exiled from Konoha, learn how to survive, and still manage to become legends along the way.

(The bratty genin are unexpected, though.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10220633    Sakutaro by NikkiGrand    9k, Sakura/Sakura, rule 63, self-cest, 

When Haruno Sakutaro said that he'd date the hell out of himself, he wasn't being literal.

But they say that man makes plans and God laughs, and ain't that the truth?

Somehow finding himself in an alternate dimension where he's a girl, Sakutaro finds himself venturing into unknown, salaciously ridiculous territory...for science.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826039    three is a crowd by exarite    3k, Sakura/Neji/Shikamaru, voyeurism, exhibitionism, poly, 

There's no real time and place to pinpoint how exactly the three of them began, and so all they have is this: moments in time, steps in place for the three of them to fall together.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/876332    Forbidden by enodia    2k, Sakura/Shikamaru, infidelity, secret relationship, 

Sometimes what you see is what you get. Sometimes not. Sometimes only a select few know what really goes on behind the scenes. Sakura and Shikamaru are both aware of this and they prefer to keep some secrets to themselves. 

.   

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13544241    J'accuse! by TipsyRaconteur    38k, Sakura/Kakashi, 

In which Kakashi and Sakura make a series of escalating accusations.

-----

Glaring at him, she said accusingly, “You like me.”

His eyes widened, and a short, disbelieving laugh escaped his lips. “What, are you twelve?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15123857    An Experiment by mummapaintstheblues    140k, Sakura/Kakashi, slow burn, 

Surely even the Hokage is able to indulge in the occasional mope in the privacy of his own office.. A project to get these ninja some much needed therapy brings two of them together in a unique way. It might just be enough to pull them out of the loneliness, and Kakashi is determined she won't end up like him. A long winded slow burn in which Kakashi makes questionable decisions to end his Hokagedom and Sakura continues to be awesome.

.

------------------------------------

.

Star Wars 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21798157    Binary Stars by Pawprinter    2k, Finn/Poe, 

There is nothing like an approaching battle and looming death to make one come clean about their hidden feelings. Minutes before he is set to take off, Poe has one thing on his mind.

He needs to find Finn.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6056386    Sehnsuch by tjiokra (scatteredmoonlight)    27k, Finn/Poe, canon-AU, conditioning, memory loss, PTSD, 

Phasma issues to the FN unit refurbished datapads plundered from a demolished Resistance base, which have been refilled with First Order propaganda. Naturally, FN-2187’s datapad malfunctions and resets to its original settings. Before FN-2187 can properly panic over this, a message is sent to him by a Resistance fighter under the code name Black Leader. It’s one simple word: “Status?”

FN-2187 wakes up to the orders of committing coldblooded murder and falls asleep to the despair of the dead. He’s one step away from messing up and getting reconditioned. When Black Leader asks how he’s doing, even if the question isn’t intended for him, FN-2187 can’t help himself.

He replies, “Alive.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7423957    A Thicket of New Veins by gloss    5k, Finn/Poe, first time, PTSD, accidental stimulation, 

"I'm okay." Poe grabs Finn's shoulder and tugs him closer. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Yeah, of course, I won't." Finn nods and hope it looks reassuring. "You know, other than that one defection, I'm a pretty reliable person."

"Yeah," Poe says, and maybe it's just because they're leaning so close like they're about to share their deepest secrets, but Finn hears Poe's *breath* every bit as much as his words. "You really are. Um." Unexpected reunion, post-battle stress, and accidental stimulation=desperately needed first time.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5609887    to the sky without wings by leupagus    81k, Poe/Luke, 

Poe dreams of a blue-green tree.

this is a very, very good read.

.

------------------------------------

.

Good Omens

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386730    Spoonful by Demorra (thebibliosphere)    2k, Aziraphale/Crowley, 

“Nanny?”

Crowley’s head jerked up as he twisted round awkwardly in his chair to find a familiar face staring at him through the crowd, the time-altered features torn somewhere between consternation and twitching on the verge of a grin. He stared.

“Warlock?” Crowley he demanded, reaching for his glasses and only just managing to resist the urge to pull them off, “Warlock?”

.

----------------------------------

.

Merlin

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/638875     The One Where Arthur Sells Tongue Cuz Being Rich is Hard Life by derryere    5k, Merlin/Arthur, AU, pining, 

Arthur sells make-out lessons at a boarding school.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991331    Heart Lines by PeaceHeather    47k, Merlin/Arthur, soulmates, asexuality, 

Everyone is born with a heart line, a pigmented mark running from the heart down the left arm to the palm, which turns color when the person comes of age, telling them when it is time to seek their soulmate. Red indicates a romantic love, while blue is for platonic "heart-friends", as the minstrels called it.

Uther had always told Arthur to ignore his heart line, that it wouldn't matter who his soulmate was; princes did not marry for love, after all. If was lucky, he'd be able to keep her as a mistress, so long as he did not get any children with her. Uther hated magic and would have urged Arthur to ignore the heart line anyway, if he could.

Arthur wasn't sure his soulmate was really a woman despite Uther's assumptions. But Arthur's heart line hadn't even come into its full color yet, which meant he hadn't come of age in the eyes of the gods, despite being named crown prince by Uther. So it really didn't matter: whoever his soulmate was, he wasn't yet ready to meet them.

Then one day his heart line comes in, and it's neither red nor blue.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835569     Show Me by tehfanglyfish     10k, Merlin/Arthur, telepathic bond, accidental voyeurism, mutual masturbation, 

An attack from a vindictive sorcerer leaves Arthur able to hear Merlin's thoughts and share his dreams, revealing secrets Merlin would rather keep hidden.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218075    Fathom Me Out by supercalvin   21k, Merlin/Arthur, 

After ten years, Arthur thinks he has Merlin all figured out. But as he watches Merlin, he finds out that he has more questions than answers. The longer he thinks about it, the more uneasy he feels. So he pushes it aside. Except, he can no longer ignore the questions he has about Merlin.

Not your everyday reveal!fic.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/245495    The Promise Within by MK_Yujji    49k, Merlin/Arthur, 

“This is not as destiny intended, young warlock. You are meant to be the magical side of this coin, not the young Pendragon. I can no longer clearly see what path destiny will follow.”

An ancient ceremony alters the course of destiny and everyone must face choices that no one expected. As Uther’s hatred of magic clashes with his love for his son, Arthur sees everything in a different light.

.

----------------------------------

.

Borderlands

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784007   up into the silence, the green by bellpickle    78k, Handsome Jack/Rhys, AU, 

Rhys thought he was ready for anything when he arrived on Helios as a newly minted Hyperion worker bee. Until the CEO was murdered on his very first day.

-----

"Hey there, kiddos! Handsome Jack here. I’m sure you’ve all heard the good news by now, or at least waved at it as it floated by the windows. If you look real closely at Mr Tassiter’s frostbitten face, you can see the tear streaks from when he cried like a pansy bitch in his final moments. Good times!”

“Anyway, just wanted to tell you all how honored I am to know that you dirty ingrates are already making attempts on my life. I’m expecting at least one more before the day’s end, so don’t disappoint me. I’ll be waiting."

-----

The story of how Rhys fell in love with the most hated man in six galaxies.

.

----------------------------------

.

Hannibal 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505733    The Fault in My Code by LiaS0 90k, Will/Hannibal, AU, soulmates, manipulation, gaslighting, murder, 

Soulmate AU: Soulmates find their other half when they look into their eyes. After the next time they sleep, they wake with one eye the color of their intended.

Will Graham avoids eyes. He's never wanted a soulmate, never wanted to be told by the universe who he was supposed to feel a connection to. He already struggles enough with connections, thank you very much. As a psychiatrist, he works with soulmates who have lost their other half through various means, part of a social system that regards the journey to your soulmate as the most important thing a person can do. Coerced by Jack Crawford to consult on a case where the assailant is targeting soulmates, Will finds himself turning to the notorious Dr. Lecter to gain insight on how he's choosing the soulmates to target.

Things go horribly awry when he looks into Hannibal's eyes, though. The next morning, he wakes up with one eye blue, the other maroon. He's never wanted a soulmate, least of all one behind bars for murdering dozens of people and eating them. Hannibal thinks it's delightful -it's been dreadfully boring since he was locked up.

Romance, thriller, mayhem, mystery, soulmate au with a realistic twist, and a grumpy Will Graham

absolutely fascinating take on the trope

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Avatar: The Last Airbender

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592961    challenging by orphan_account    5k, Sokka/Zuko, sparring, 

Sokka knew Fire Nation customs were weird, especially the customs surrounding royalty, but it seemed impossible for something like treating your sparring partner to be so outrageously out of Zuko's comfort zone. For Sokka, it was common sense, even if he'd grown up sparring with cloth bundles instead of real people. It was just the right thing to do. Maybe this wasn't even a Fire Nation thing, maybe it was a Zuko thing. After all, it was only recently that he'd even decided to join Team Avatar and hitch his hopes with the good guys. This might just be one of the many things that former villains had to learn – like smiling, or laughing in a way that didn't sound sharp and bladed. But looking at Zuko now, still staring at him, he had a good idea it was the former.

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Toy Story 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/617850    Under the Table and Dreaming by hollycomb     103k, Andy/Sid, 

Andy met Sid when he was four years old, and while some things change, a lot of things stay the same. 

this fic is an amazing read  

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South Park

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460731    Never Change by hollycomb    115k, Stan/Kyle, murder mystery, closeted character, 

Thirteen years after his high school girlfriend's pregnancy upended his life, Stan is still in South Park, working with his partner Bebe as a local cop. They're in the process of investigating a series of possibly connected murders when FBI agent Kyle Broflovski returns to town and informs his old friend Stan that this is his investigation now.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16691212    Little Runaway by scarecrow_horses    42k Xander/Spike, domestic, off-screen prostitution, 

An alternate ending to the 'Glory' problem from season 5. Dawn comes up with the perfect solution, and Spike reluctantly agrees. Now they just need a 'rational, mature, adult' to make the idea palatable to Buffy. Enter Xander.....

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076429    Ritual, With Oil by dustandroses    2k, Xander/Spike, painting on skin, magical ritual, voyeurism, 

This was what Xander got for volunteering. He needed to stop doing that.

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/r/NoSleep

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/8oueb7/i_work_security_at_disney_world_well_i_mean_i_did/    I work security at Disney World... well, I mean I did. by u/disneysecurity    

I work in security at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. Typically, I wouldn’t say where I work as obviously there are some pretty strict rules about things employees can put online, but I just don’t think I can tell this properly without that context. And, honestly, I think this may be it for me anyway with this job. I just can’t see myself working here any longer now. 

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/   I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell by u/searchandrescuewoods 

I wasn't sure where else to post these stories, so I figured I'd share them here. I've been an SAR officer for a few years now, and along the way I've seen some things that I think you guys will be interested in. 

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9z3cm6/so_yeah_i_dont_do_drugs_anymore/    So, Yeah... I Don't Do Drugs Anymore. by u/TheJesseClark 

I mean, I was never a heavy addict, or anything. Never did heroin, or meth. Tried crack cocaine once. That was… yeah. But I was only sober for eight months between that and when Eddie, an old buddy of mine, introduced me to something called K3. Against my better judgement, I took him up on the offer.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/9418eh/i_saw_something_on_the_evening_news_that_i_cant/    I saw something on the evening news that I can't explain by u/OQS

My work friends and I were out at our favourite pub last night. Not a really fancy place but, you know, cheap beer and close enough to home that I don't have to drive. The night started out normally enough, the four of us crammed into a small table off in the corner, mostly talking shop and shitting on our boss. Being this was the middle of the week there weren't too many other people around, maybe around eight or nine others in the whole place. Everybody just kinda keeping to themselves, sorta people you'd expect to see in a pub on a Wednesday.

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Not enough? check out my notdead recs tag for previous editions containing another 1586+ fic recs (jfc) in various fandoms

[redorblue]

Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich

I was going to keep this blog Corona-free, but I read a book that I want to talk about and that touches on the current situation, so I decided to make an exception. The book is called Future home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich, and before I start gushing I might add that in the light of current events, the atmosphere especially in the first part can be a bit upsetting. I’m still not quite sure why I decided to pick up a book about the end of the world in the first place. But I’m glad that I did, because it’s just so good.

The story is about Cedar Hawk Songmaker, a young Ojibwe woman who was adopted and raised by a white couple. At the beginning of the book, she is about four months pregnant, which she sees as an opportunity to reconnect with her biological mother and assorted family members. That first meeting is a work of art on its own: it perfectly encompasses the entire spectrum of emotions that such a meeting might provoke, from instant connection and familiarity over awkwardness and stiffness to a feeling of complete alienation because of the stark difference in social class, and the scene jumps wildly between all of them. These dynamics alone would make the story work, but it’s also set in a not-very-distant future that quickly devolves into a dystopia. There are references to climate change, but the event that triggers societal collapse is the stop, or rather the reversal, of evolution, meaning that humans give birth to homo erectus babies, dinosaur-like beings hatch from regular birds’ eggs, dragonflies suddenly have a wingspan of a meter again, and even plant species change beyond recognition. It’s never explained why this happens because in the book nobody knows either, but it causes the collapse of the US as a unified state and the appearance of some of the staples of dystopian fiction: widespread violence, deeply immoral governments, desperate or simply malicious people doing bad things, but also people coming together on a local level and trying to save as much and as many as possible.

So far, so omnipresent. What makes this book such a rare find for me was that it consistently focused on the perspective and the life of this one ordinary person who is not caught up in some high-level political/military game with the powers of evil, who is not even a member of the resistance, but simply tries her hardest to bring her child into the world (and get to keep it afterward). I say this with love, but she’s quite possibly the most unremarkable character in the main cast: she doesn’t smuggle people out or helps to hide anyone; she doesn’t work to form a self-subsistent, safe entity out of the reservation where her mother lives; she doesn’t take the initiative to escape once she’s captured; and most of the time, she’s the least informed person in the room.

But that’s exactly why it works, and why it’s different from other stories out there (more on that later). The dystopia is the setting, and don’t get me wrong, it works - sometimes frighteningly so because it feels so similar to our current situation: most people feel something is coming/here, but since they have little information and no idea what to do about it, they just keep on living while things around them deteriorate. But the dystopia is only the setting, not the story.

The story is about motherhood, both with regard to Cedar’s navigating the now two mothers in her life and with regard to Cedar’s own approaching motherhood. It is told in the form of a diary, narrated by Cedar and addressing her unborn child, which makes it feel very intimate. This intimacy is contrasted ever more by the way that the new powers that be (some sort of Christian fundamentalist church-government) try to turn reproduction into a matter of state control and public interest. In the end, the story is about Cedar fighting to be the one in charge of this supposedly very personal experience: mostly against the new regime, yes, but also against the baby’s father and even her adoptive mother. This focus on the personal over the political means that we spend a lot of time in Cedar’s head listening to her philosophical/religious musings (she’s a Catholic) and that we don’t get explanations for a lot of things that happen to her. As someone who loves the intricacies of good worldbuilding, I understand if this is frustrating to some people. But there’s a lot of stuff with expansive worldbuilding and lots of action out there already, and the fact that this isn’t like that is precisely what made this one stick out to me. In addition to that, there’s probably also a lot to be said about the religious symbolism in this book, especially around female saints, which gave it a philosophical tinge that I liked a lot, but half of that probably flew right over my head, so I’m going to leave that for now.

On Goodreads I saw a lot of people comparing this to The Handmaid’s Tale, with some even going as far as saying that they’re basically the same thing and that Louise Erdrich just ripped off what Margaret Atwood did better thirty years before. I don’t think that’s true though. Sure, they share some basic tenets, like a decline in fertility bringing about societal collapse, women being forcibly recruited to have as many babies as possible, or Christian fundamentalists taking charge. But there’s nothing entirely new under the sun, and I think they took some similar ideas and made them into different things. First off, the writing is very different: The Handmaid’s Tale makes you experience the soul-crushing boredom that the protagonist suffers, while Future Home is switches between a meditative tone and more action-y scenes, and the effect of being addressed directly as a reader (remember, it’s diary entries addressed to “you”) changes the reading experience.

Second, it has different themes. While The Handmaid’s Tale depicts isolation and the effects it has on the psyche, Future Home focuses on connections (especially between women) - positive connections, for the most part, but it doesn’t simplify them to a mere “we’re all best friends now”-level. They’re still complex and sometimes complicated, especially when it comes to Cedar’s sister and mothers. Future Home also presents a more balanced view on religion, simply because Cedar herself is a Catholic (one who is even knowledgeable about theology, but has a liberal mindset), while Atwood’s protagonist isn’t very religious. Another thing that sets Future Home apart from The Handmaid’s Tale is it’s inclusion of Native (Ojibwe) elements like reservation politics, history, the importance of a Native female saint (Kateri) to people’s spiritual lives, or Cedar’s anxieties about being Native by blood, but not by socialization. I love The Handmaid’s Tale as much as the next person, but it really is very white, and Future Home isn’t.

However, what this book actually reminded me of was a short story by Ted Chiang that I read recently named “72 Letters”. It builds on the concept of the golem, a figure made out of clay and animated by a piece of parchment with a special word/name on it that was supposedly built by rabbis to defend their communities against antisemitic pogroms. In this story, the technique is adapted to animate all sorts of automatons and get them to perform menial tasks - if you manage to find the right name for the creature, something that comprises its essence and capabilities in 72 letters. The society-shattering crisis in this story is still a few generations away, it sets in when a handful of scientists find out that in a few decades, all men will turn infertile, but it already brings out the worst in some of those in the know. The idea is to use the golem-animating technique to sort of artificially inseminate women, but mainly those of the middle and upper classes because God beware people decide on their own how many children they have and the unwashed masses take over. It’s not a very long short story, sadly, but it shares a few themes with Future Home like state control over reproduction, the ethical limits of science, God’s role in evolution and reproduction, and the struggle between different groups of people - social classes for 72 Letters, species of humans for Future Home. 72 Letters tackles the issue of significant changes to reproductive abilities from a Marxist perspective, while Future Home’s approach is more feminist, but they’re both interesting perspectives. What they definitely do show is that it’s not an intrinsically religious problem to want to take control over who procreates and who doesn’t, but that the same drive can be found in secular and even supposedly “progressive” people/ideologies/institutions, and that’s a lesson worth listening to.

[laughingpinecone]

Yuletide letter!

I am laughingpineapple on AO3 

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (doubly so if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, outsider POV, UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night

Any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, canon divergences, non-mundane AUs (space opera! high fantasy! new weird also), deep lore, unrequested characters popping up - please do go wild with the & combos!

Blanket crossover prompt with Untitled Goose Game: set that goose loose anywhere and ruin anyone’s day. Tariq and select Twin Peaks characters who are not Albert (Margaret, Laura...) may hope to tame and befriend the goose; anyone else better get wrecked. Capitalism may also get wrecked while Kentucky Route Zero characters popcorn.gif nearby

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, canon retellings, unrequested ships (I listed all the ships I like for each fandom. Outside of those, I’d prefer if other canon characters weren’t shipped, unless they’re like, canon engaged/married)

Dark Souls 1: Solaire of Astora

I’m only familiar with the first game! It’s probably relevant to mention that I think that linking the fire is kind of a dumbass move, Gwyn is a jerk, Kaathe has his own agenda and there’s no winning move in this world, or at least no obvious one. And amidst all this nonsense, Solaire just shines, pure of heart and dumb of ass like the best of ‘em. I love his kindness in this cruelest of worlds and I love the sad edge he’s got even earlier on when he admits to being seen as weird.

I would enjoy a bittersweet ending for him but I realize both of his endings are deeply entrenched in his themes so it’s hard to make him steer clear of either of those. If you can figure out how to make him not link the Flame or survive the ordeal, I’m all ears! I like a sense of purpose being the thing that can stave off hollowing, and I like characters helping other characters finding that sense of purpose within themselves. Focus on scenery always welcome, and if you want to make up a location, that’s great too!

I’d be super happy with a story set during Solaire’s time in Lordran that simply doesn’t mention his endings, anyway. Maybe he’s the one who helps someone else while his own tragedy keeps looming on the horizon. Striking up friendships in the face of a crapsack world! Meeting people through Lordran’s temporal/dimensional fuckery, where it’s possible to cross the path of warriors who have been gone for ages… could Solaire meet either or both Catarina knights (there’s so much great art about sun bro and onion bro but where’s the fic?), or do the grumpy grump&ray of sunshine routine with Logan, or meet Artorias or even Gwyn before he linked the Flame - or himself? What if he met Kaathe?

Ships: none really? Solaire/Chosen Undead but I don’t really like to read about customizable protagonists in fic so I’d rather not get fic featuring the CU. I’m all about the & character combos here.

Ghost Trick: Cabanela, Jowd

I love Cabanela being fierce and dazzling bright and determined and loyal to the very end, dancing to his own rhythm, so sure of himself and of his ideas that he doesn’t even need to prove to anyone that he’s right. Too sure of the wrong idea, once, and everything crashed and burned. And I love Jowd being the immovable object to Cabanela’s unstoppable force, a suicidal trainwreck of guilt with the gallows humor to show for it, and also incredibly smart (both jerks figured out Sissel’s powers better than Sissel did, that’s... something) and athletic and with an unsuspected talent for stealth.

I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Touch-starved Jowd in the new timeline is a surefire hit (or maybe Cabanela if he’s the one who came back and kept the memories of the old timeline). Touchy-feely Cabanela as kind of his baseline with the people he likes.  All what-ifs welcome:what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around… I’m also wondering about either of them ending up undead via Temsik shard - how would they take these developments (I’m assuming better than Yomiel did but the bar is admittedly low), did Cabanela do it on purpose for whatever sensible-if-you-are-Cabanela reason, what does it change in their relationship, what are the practical pros and cons of the situation here. UFO adventures with Pigeon Man! Lynne teaming up with either of them against the other! Sissel death-averting action if either/both of them die or just regular cat action! Spy stuff! Daring rescues! My forever prompt of Jowd being the one who gets a chance to prove his loyalty to Cabanela for once. Dancing.

Please no Yomiel. Nothing against the guy I’m just getting an overdose of him through RPing.

Ships: Alma/Cabanela/Jowd and all sides thereof, but when it splits the canon couple I only like it when the missing spouse is dead or otherwise unavailable, hopefully with a reset on the horizon. If you want to go for a Cabanela&Alma or Cabanela/Alma who are strongly motivated by a dead or jailed Jowd, I’m good with him not actively appearing in the fic. Alma/Jowd & Cabanela is excellent in all scenarios. I’m good with explicitly non-romantic takes on Jowd&Cabs but please keep their bond strong, and please no conflicting ship for Cabanela. Lynne/Memry!

Kentucky Route Zero: Any (Lula Chamberlain, Joseph Wheattree, Donald kentuckyroutezero, Weaver Màrquez)

(if enough of us request it, will some Murphy corollary guarantee that Act V will come out between now and reveals just to mess with the Yuletide schedule? If it does, I’ll be playing it immediately and probably add a few thoughts and prompts here for kicks, at the end of this section, after a spoiler warning. Obviously feel free to stick to canon up to Un Pueblo De Nada)

I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I can’t think of any specific AUs for the disaster trio + disaster soloist here, but I generally love AUs so if you want to sidestep the inconvenience of an incomplete canon that way, be my guest! Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Was Weaver ever part of it, what was this digital Weaver up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! A good fit for IF, too? I’d love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Lula getting ideas for a new installation, or an article talking about her work? Donald listening to Static between stations somehow (Donald being constantly high as a kite as per this)? Joseph who went back to the surface finds himself near an entrance to the Zero somewhere? A collection of Weaver-isms? Feel free to bring in anyone else from any part of canon.

Ships: “Flipping through the pages, Conway is able to gather that it's a story about three characters: Joseph, Donald, and Lula. It's something like a tragic love triangle, but much more complex. Some kind of tangled, painfully concave love polygon.” 😬 that one, as a full triad, regrettably since they don’t seem too inclined to get reunited and stay that way. If you can nudge them, good. But I’m very open to non-romantic resolutions as well, going past their messy feelings to find each other as friends after so many years maybe. For Weaver, I’m interested in all her & relationships (seriously. Weaver & Cate. Weaver & EmilyBen&Bob. Weaver & Slow Moe Crow.) but nothing shippy. Conway/Lysette, Junebug/Johnny(/Shannon?).

The Last Remnant: David Nassau, Pagus

I’m very interested in post-game exploration, and getting a clearer feeling of any of the cities and assorted places that populate this fascinating world. I like the whole party with their characterization based on battle quotes, red bubble dialogues, and even their unique stat (‘authority’ is a natural fit for David but ‘romance’ tells me something new about Sibal!) Character interaction. Bit of worldbuilding. What’s another festival they celebrate? Do they erect something else instead of the Valeria Heart? Any fun discoveries down in Siebenbur? Where the hell IS Veyriel, anyway, do they go look for it and if so what do they find out? End of an age. Old bonds.

I ache for David who fought so valiantly as a warrior and as a politician only to be slapped in the face with the unexpected loss Emma first and then Rush, right as they were ready to claim their victory and as he would have to start coming to terms with the idea that maybe without the Gae Bolg he wouldn’t die young. At least his Generals are still with him - out of them, all of whom I adore, I picked Pagus because Qsiti are cool. And Pagus in particular is the coolest (”I know that fine qsiti... That large, reticent mouth, the laugh lines around the eyes...“ he’s FINE it’s CANON!). So I’d like to see how David bounces off Pagus in particular, what their bond is like, what he thinks of whatever aspect of Qsiti culture.

Ships: postcanon David/Rush, possibly with an emphasis on Rush’s nature as a remnant? I am also fond of Pagus/Sibal/Maddox, there are more prompts for them in my #letters tag!

Pyre: Volfred Sandalwood, Tariq The Lone Minstrel

Oh the burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints (moreso for liberated exiles, thrust into heroic roles after the revolution) and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I’ve been waiting for a character like Tariq all my life, a minstrel who’s otherworldly soft and just a lil bit eldritch. Volfred as well, he just hits my perfect ratio of “noble intentions” to “scheming to a fault”. Like, the percentages in his planner are pointless for gameplay since the ending just depends on the number of Nightwings sent topside at the end - so it’s just there for his characterization, he’s the sort of person who assigns percentages to people, nbd. ...for a good cause! That said, I would die for anyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to write in someone else as well, please do! (otoh if you maybe want to dunk on Brighton or Manley, I don’t like bashing but canon levels of love-to-hate-them would be fun)

Thoughts about finding oneself at the end of an age, as everything crumbles down to form something new. The titan stars. History nerd Volfred, “aye sir, I was there” Tariq. Conversations with Dalbert. Or with Sandra? Any postcanon very welcome with any combination of endings as long as the revolution was peaceful. Please do lean into the xeno headcanons if you enjoy them! Even for gen, I like to read what it’s like to be something other than human and these two are very much not human in different and intriguing ways. Or, Volfred’s zodiac sign is Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so there’s that. I also love how they both hold the other in the highest esteem, especially on Tariq’s part since he’s the immortal Herald of the Scribes and Volfred is, all in all, a history teacher, but listen to him and you’d think the roles were inverted. I love my nonviolent canon but could anything happen to either of them that may require a rescue, and/or some good old-fashioned h/c? What’s something that could make Tariq of all people lose it? How’s life 100 years on?

For a funnier mood, picture Volfred trying to figure out how to flirt with Tariq with percentages, planners and all. He could just ask him but no, it’s convoluted plan or bust. Or, conversely, Tariq’s increasingly direct hints that he’s interested, but they’re still ‘increasingly direct’ for Tariq standards, so, not at all, undetectable even by Volfred who can get pretty damningly indirect himself.

Ships: Volfred/Tariq, Volfred/Oralech, some form of Oralech/Volfred/Tariq (more of a Volfred-centric V but I would like to be convinced of the Oralech/Tariq side of things), Celeste/Jodariel, Hedwyn/Fikani and Pamitha/Bertrude.

Twin Peaks: Albert Rosenfield

Case fic but they don’t find out jack shit, someone disappears, David Bowie was there, it’s complicated. Fragmented, shifted, mirrored identities. New Lodge spaces. The risks of staring into the void for too long. Gentle illusions. Transcendence. The moon. Static buzzing. Any title from the s3 ethereal whooshing compilation used as a prompt, actually. Twin Peaks is all about the mystery to me, the awe of mystery and unknowability and the human drive to look beyond and the risks of getting a peek, and about shared consciousness and trauma taking physical form and about the warmth of human connections in an uncaring world. Go wild with the ethereal whooshing!

I love Albert and he breaks my heart, a pacifist who ends his arc shooting his oldest remaining friend after life sucked all the passion and most of the idealism out of him. Is shooting Diane just to see Cooper come back, get her back and disappear with her again trauma enough to make him split? I’d be interested in reading about it, or any other take on his unwavering loyalty to Gordon which should maybe waver after Gordon’s admission that he’s lied to him for 25 years and the aforementioned unmitigated disaster of an ending. But I’m also very interested in his life apart from the disaster that is Blue Rose and his heartbreaking search for Cooper: did he keep in touch with Harry throughout the years, what did they talk about? Was he ever dragged along for a hike in the woods and did something weird happen there? We know he kept in touch with Diane, what did THEY talk about? Does he go on a journey of his own to find her after the ending? Does Tammy come along, do they see each other as friends other than mentor and protégé? What was Phil like as a co-boss back in the day? Did he get a small victory over Windom at some point (maybe even in the present day, given Kenneth Welsh’s recent wonderful interview where he’s adamant that Windom lives)? Does Laura ever visit him in some ghostly manner? He and Denise look like a great duo for a case and/or office shenanigans. We know from TFD that he’s a big jazz enthusiast, something about that? When does he cave in and just accept some aspects of Coop’s investigative method? Just set him loose on another unsuspecting character and I’ll be happy.

If Coop comes back (and I’d love for Coop to come back), I would like it if he came back on his own thanks to having sorted out his crap. After s3, I am not interested in stories about any other character saving Cooper. Albert’s got his wounds to lick dangit. And he’s got friends who can be by his side! ...I do love his dynamic with Coop so much, though. Sigh. I do miss that bastard. Anyway.

Ships: Albert/Coop/Harry and sides thereof, Tammy/Cynthia, Gordon/Phil, Diane/Constance, Lucy/Andy, Chet/Sam.

Canon-specific DNWs: any singular Dreamer being the ‘source’ of canon, BOB (let alone Judy) being forever defeated in the finale, Judy being an active malevolent presence in the characters’ lives, clear explanations for canonical ambiguities, ‘Odessaverse’ being the reality layer, the Fireman’s House by the Sea being the White Lodge, anything that 4 hours video says is the explanation of Twin Peaks

[eggshellsreview]

Spirited Away (2001) Review

Spirited Away is a movie that I've seen frames of and hear praises for since as long as I could remember. It's a later Studio Ghibli movie, and easily one of the most iconic of the assortment I plan to get through on this blog.

Despite the fact the movie was so present in pop culture for so long, I never stopped to think about how old it actually is. The reason for that is the first thing you'll notice when you watch the movie; it's animation. Right off the bat you'll see timeless animation that looks on par with some more recent animes, but with the touch and details of anything hand drawn carefully. It's easily the biggest strength of the film and a huge reason people love it (and Ghibli films in general). Although I can't yet speak for other Ghibli movies yet, the animation in Spirited Away specifically works in even more ways than just looking great as, given the plot of the film, it also helps establish it's setting and atmosphere.

Spirited Away, as the title hints towards, explores a spirit realm that co-exists on our world that our child protagonist, Chihiro Ogino, finds herself stumbling into during the moving process into her new home. Unfortunately for Chihiro, this adventure embarks in incredibly distressing context as, due to their negligence, her parents found themselves victims to the spirit realm's bizareness. Having end up turned to pigs, Chihiro's parents now must depend on their daughter to learn the ways of this spirit realm to find a chance to get her parents back to normal, and to get them back home.

This journey to a resolution is where the movie really starts climbing up to its climax. With our protagonist now roaming the spirit realm, we go full on crazy with the beings that exist in it. Anthropomorphic frogs, witches, ghouls, dragons, all that good stuff. And each design has such great love embedded into it that you just wanna stop and stare whenever a funky looking character shows up.

Unfortunately, this is kind of where the craftsmanship of the movie isnt as fun anymore. This movie's plot is set up really well. It's world is set up really well. But, man, its story hits an unfortunate decline in terms of how engaging it is.

Chihiro is explained immediately that she must be contracted to a labor provider in order to stay in this spirit realm, and eventually she gets a job. The journey she undergoes to land the job is sweet and all, but then she gets a position as a hotel worker and its just weird in terms of story. During her employement, Chihiro just does a lot of nothing. We see her interact with the hotel staff and the wild assortment of guests, and all of that is great. It helps build the atmosphere, and it helps provide characters for our protagonist's traits to bounce off of so we get to know who she is. However, it's also pausing the intense conflict of her parents turning to pigs and being in danger of being killed at any moment, to show Chihiro clean floors or banter with her mentor, or help a client. A majority of the movie is just thinking "hey, thats really funny and cute, well animated, and straight up cool, but where's the plot. Why is this happening?".

This happens A LOT through the movie, and all it does is makes me wish Spirited Away was a short animated series about the hotel and its awesome variety of guests because thats easily what youre going to remember most about the movie, even though, again, it didn't actually move the plot at all. This is why this movie's so hard to actually formally talk about for me right now. Because I definitely saw a lot of stuff happen, but not much of it actually contributed to the main character's goals. Instead she just constantly gets saved by plot armor and insane coincidences.

Anyone who has watched this movie knows I haven't mentioned the main male character of the movie who's name I've already forgotten. Thats because despite being constantly talked about and seen, the only thing I can recall he did of value to help Chihiro, was tell her to get a job 15 minutes into the movie. Beyond that he was just filler for the movie to try to add some personality to it's cast of support characters.That pretty much sums up my biggest issue with the movie; it's very very empty. And even though the setting and atmosphere is done INCREDIBLY fantastic, when it comes to movies, i don't want to just sit and look at cool designs. The lack of satisfying plot unfortunately hinders the movie a lot of me. I almost wish it was entirely intended for kids, so I can pass it off as just being meant as pretty stuff to look at, but with smoking, monsters, some violence, a bit of blood, and some generally disturbing (for children) scenes, the movie just isn't even that.

I'm sure people can tell me where theres significance in the movie's writing, but the thing is, I see it, its just not relevant. You can pretend to argue that the movie was about Chihiro's growth and determination because she seemed shy and cowardly in the beginning of the film, but she wasn't being cowardly, she was being rational and her parents (like I said at the beginning) were being negligent of their own safety and the safety of their daughter's life. Thats why I exclusively mentioned her parent's lack of thinking, because why should I want Chihiro to change when her hestiance seemed more like rationality when it was the only reason she didn't get turned to a pig destined to be killed like her parents.

Even if she DID have to change, there blatantly just wasn't any actual development. She was scared of a staircase like 50ft tall at one point, but that's rational too. Whenever she had to do anything absurd like care for monster clients or clean or anything work related she didnt even remotely hesitate so I genuinely did not once feel she even was actually cowardly because she immediately adjusted to the spirit realm.

She's not the only issue with this. We have a sort of antagonist called No-Face who also despite being in a vast majority of the film, wasn't actually relevant to the plot enough to mention until now, who had a symbolism thing going on where you'd only be victim of his gimmick if you were greedy. And yeah cool, I get that, but that's so irrelevant to the Chihiro and her goal that it just didn't matter to me. He ended up being being used to show that Chihiro has positive impact on the world around her by not being greedy and all that, but like, why. I never once ever considered Chihiro to be greedy especially when she was shown to be hesitant and careful in the beginning of the film. So why create an entire side plot dedicated to this notion as if there was any doubt to it.

Ultimately, this movie just didn't land as a movie that'll stick to me at all. It's a gorgeous world with gorgeous art, but with how little goes on it, I can't see myself recommend it to anyone or even revisit it myself. Not to descredit the effort that went into this movie, but there are other movies with unique and beautiful animation and/or great settings with great character designs. I just don't see Spirited Away being a movie that compares as much to other movies that have those things AND a better plot. However, Spirited Away is at least clean and cohesive. Although empty, it's easy to follow even with all it's fun magic rules and so I won't say the writing is bad, but rather it just leaves a lot to be desired. Which is why I said it'd be much more engaging as an episodic animated series. So overall, I'd give this movie a 7/10. For excelling in a lot of areas, but needing improvement in a lot of other others. I might have been a bit disappointed with this movie, but with what it did really well, I'm still very excited to see what the next Ghibli movies I'm going to watch will have in store for me!

[margridarnauds]

6, 12, 23, and 45 please!

Thank you!

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

So, I have no idea what we’re talking about as far as levels of involvement, but here are the ones I read fanfic RELIGIOUSLY for back in the day. So, behold my shame. 

Cats (oh, my sweet, innocent 12 year old self) - Mistoffelees/Victoria. 

Phantom of the Opera - Raoul/Christine/Erik, tbh. I started off E/C, then shifted to R/C when I realized E was a trashfire, then went to R/C/E when I realized that I loved garbage after all. 

Van Helsing - Anna/Dracula. Which is impressive given I’ve never. Actually. Watched it. Sue me. 

Carmilla - Carmilla/Laura.

The Pirate Queen - Graínne/Donal, one of the first fics I ever wrote. (And then never published.) Yes, he is a garbage fire in the musical, but in my very specific rewrite of it, he wasn’t. Though these days, I kind of lean towards Tiernan/Donal or Tiernan/Gráinne/Donal. Garbage pirate OT3 is garbage. 

Dracula - The Countess (from Makt Myrkanna)/Lucy Westenra. The first explicit femslash I ever wrote, and it might very well never see the light of day because I do not forever want to be known as The One With The Blood And The Lesbians. Though, who knows? It might cleanse me of Printing Press. 

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Yes. Really.): Twilight/Princess Luna. I keep telling myself that my AO3 profile’s eventually going to be nothing but period dramas, my (1) Terra Nova fic, and…a My Little Pony fic, along with various Barbie Movie fics. For old time’s sake. 

Terra Nova - Wash/Mira, due to @janetcarter‘s influence. 

The Flash - Barrison. Specifically, Eobard/Barry. In many ways, it was my prep for 1789 with the whole “I murdered your parent” thing.  

The Avengers - Loki/Tony Stark.  

Les Miserables - Valjean/Javert 

The Golden Compass - Mrs. Coulter/Lord Asriel 

Arthuriana - Galahad/Mordred

Star Wars - Reylo or Finnlo. I don’t particularly have a preference, just let Kylo screw one of his various archnemeses straight to the side of the Light.

Star Wars: Rebels - Kallus/Zeb. Oh. Another enemies to lovers ship. Who would have guessed? 

1789 - Peyrol/Ronan (Was there any doubt? If there was, I need to write more.) 

Revolutionary Maximilien Robespierre - Madame Roland/Marie-Anne. In progress, but A Ship for me. Mainly because I’m a contrarian little shit who writes things when people tell me I can’t and then gets attached to the result.

Brennus, Enemy of Rome - Ahmet/Nissia. Which…I still need to. Write. My fanfic for that one. So that fanfic for it exists.  

Lord of the Rings - Boromir/Aragorn

Friedrich: Mythos und Tragödie - Countess Orzelska/Wilhelmine and Fritz/Katte. Pretty much equally, though Orzelskine (?) Wilhelska (?) is starting to edge out Fratte. 

La Legende du Roi Arthur - Leia/Guinevere in the French and Morgane/Guin in the Takarazuka. 

Irish Mythology - Bres/Sreng. I will defend this one to the death and I will do it with citations and footnotes. 

Scarecrow of Romney Marsh - General Pugh/Dr Syn. Yet another one I. Need to write the fic for. 

Star Trek: …….. 

………You know, my favorite thing about Star Trek is that, regardless of shipping preferences, we can all find something to enjoy. Kor/Kirk. While I can’t speak for DS9 Quark/Brunt, my current favorite from Discovery has to be Michael/Tilly, which might very well be the single most wholesome thing I’ve shipped in a very long time. 

Ace Attorney: Phoenix/Edgeworth. 

12. Who is your current OT3?

Chauvelin/Percy/Marguerite from The Scarlet Pimpernel. I do not accept constructive criticism on this one. Because Percy/Marguerite are sickeningly sweet on their own, Marguerite/Chauvelin has That Sexual Tension in Where’s the Girl and The Riddle, and Percy/Chauvelin fulfill all my requirements as far as enemies to lovers ships are concerned.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

I’ve talked a lot about Forgiveness being one of the very few things I’ve written that I’ve ever liked and the ONE thing that I feel…gets my idea of how L/R WORK together and probably shows off my style best, along with Fowl Play (WHICH HAS FANART NOW. WHICH I’M STILL NOT OVER BECAUSE MY BABY HAS FANART.) So, instead, I’m going to shift to Pour la Peine, which…is my messy, messy child in many regards, not the least because it’s so much longer + still isn’t finished. 

(Warning for various and assorted personal, squishy feelings, as well as cancer mentions)

When I first got the prompt from @fallenidol-453, it was January of 2018. Two months before, I’d received the news that my uncle had Stage Four Esophageal Cancer and my mother had moved from our house to his house to care for him, leaving me without her help for the first time in my life, which I deliberately kept as low-key about on here as I could be, given that, to be honest, dealing with the endless “I’m so sorry to hear that”s gets very exhausting after awhile and I was a college student with a schedule to keep. And he and I had a very…contentious relationship, despite the two of us being alike in many ways. Possibly because we were alike in many ways. And, by May of that year, he was dead. And I would learn shortly afterwards that my paternal grandfather had died in January, but no one on my father’s side had bothered to tell me. I spent a lot of time trying to deal with the stress of that time, juggling that with my schoolwork and my fanfic, which I tried to work on from the time I received the prompt onwards. (Tbh, I’d had the opening scene in my mind for awhile before, but I hadn’t had a larger plot + ending until the prompt.)

At first, I thought that I would publish it like I’d later publish Forgiveness, in one straight chapter, but as time went on and on and there became less and less of a shot of having it done any time soon, I ended up just publishing the first chapter and deciding to update it from there. And that chapter got a lot of ribbing from friends. “Her brother is dead” really came off as a very melodramatic first line, but I also decided, very early on, that I didn’t care about what the objective quality of it was; all I cared about was creating a snapshot of a time in my life, just like when I go through the stuff that I made when I was twelve and I laugh about the various and assorted OCs and questionable phrases but love them all the same because they’re my twelve year old self’s. And, where I was at that point in my life, writing Solène mourning a family member who she had a difficult relationship with while I mourned a family member who I had a difficult relationship with, it was the only line that felt right to me.  

There’s a lot of things with this one that I’m still not sure about. There’s a plot twist that I’ve tried to be quiet about for all this time (that I’ve probably been really terrible about keeping, tbh) and that is either going to be the Jumping the Shark moment or the defining moment of it, and I’m obviously not sure how that’s going to be received though I want to believe I’ve foreshadowed it enough to not make it too much of a swerve, I’m not sure how I feel about the ending, there’s a lot there that’s murky and probably more reflective of my writing a year ago than not, and I’m not sure about how I’ve handled the character dynamics given what we’ve got in canon or the dynamic I’ve put them into, or whether the choices they’ll make reflect THEM or what I WANTED them to do. Hell, with a few things, I’m not sure how I’m even going to GET to the ending. 

But, I’m really proud of how much I’ve had the chance to work with Solène and Olympe, I’m really happy with a lot of the work I put into sequences like the two chapters long March to Versailles, which involved looking into a LOT of personal accounts as well as secondary sources analyzing it, and I liked trying to flesh out Solène’s world. But, more importantly, of everything I’ve written, it and Le Cri are probably the most directly personal to me, and even though a part of me still says Her brother is dead is a hell of a melodramatic opening line, it fulfilled its purpose. And, tbh, sometimes that’s all a fic needs. 

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic? 

This is so hard for me, because there are so many fics that have left a huge impression on me throughout the various fandoms I’ve been in. In 1789 alone, I was thinking of at least two different fics at a given point, which is both fantastic and minorly stressful given how small this fandom is (one of which, incidentally, was Little Dove Heart, since that really gave me a huge push as far as Laz and his backstory and his characterization and his relationship to Artois, even if I tend to keep the latter more in the background). And there have been so many fics I’ve read that I’ll remember and go back to periodically, and that really helped me as far as looking at how character voices could be developed and how description would work and how to work a time period and a setting into a story. 

Overall though, I think I’m going to have to give it to Vae Victis, which is a work by @sineala‘s. I’ve never been quiet about my undying love for the Gauls and for Brennus in particular. Brennus is one of my historical favs, and I felt like this fic did a really, really fantastic job of bringing that much-neglected period of time to life and developing the characters on their own, without me having any background in the source material. With fanfic, especially with a more active fandom, there’s kind of an expectation that everyone knows the characters involved, so to be able to work in a different time and to get the reader fully invested in the characters and their relationship in their own right is a really fantastic accomplishment, and to be able to show the Gauls and Brennus (in what little time he gets, because my boi’s not the focus and I accept that) as three dimensional figures rather than a rampaging horde is always much appreciated. And it has a WORKS CITED page at the end, AKA the eternal key to my heart. 

[pepperoniwhirlwind]

🌼~Honesty Hour~🌼 (pt. 2)

     I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do 150 questions in the honesty hour tag quite a while ago, and only did a third of it. But no longer will this be the case! Midterms are mostly over (the two biggest ones are done at least) so I can focus on more fun things, like answering these questions! Here’s my answers to questions 51-100:

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

     Yes. I have a lot of internalized shame about my body type (petite and curvy) that whenever I see someone super tall or toned I just want to be them. Even if it’s only for a day. I don’t have these wishes so much anymore though. Alex and I have been dating for 5 months (on the 21st of this month) and he loves my body type. Thanks to him, I’m learning to love myself, and learning that I don’t have to be a model to be loved~ 💕

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

     My depression. I feel like it makes me a burden on everyone, and although it’s shaped who I am, has it really changed me for the better? Maybe I’m more understanding and empathetic because of it, but it’s also caused me an inordinate amount of pain, and unnecessary pain for my loved ones.

53. Favorite make-up brand?

     I don’t wear make-up often enough for me to even have a clue.

54. Favorite store?

     What I’m buying changes which store I prefer. If it’s food, I generally hit up Fry’s. If it’s home decor (Which Alex and I needed quite a bit of in recency, given that we just moved into an apartment together a few months ago) I shop at Target. If I need to buy shampoo, face wipes, deodorant, shaving cream, etc. I typically go to Wal-Mart. Does anyone really have just 1 store that they shop at? I know if I bought non-food items at Fry’s I’d go bankrupt. 😂

55. Favorite blog?

     That’s a real tough one. I love all of my Tumblr friend’s blogs. @im-here-cause-im-not-all-there posts a lot of stuff I relate to, same for @theperksofneurodivergency, who always posts great content. Seriously, I could sit here for ages and list off all the people on Tumblr that I follow, but that would be ridiculous. Rest assured that if I follow you, it means I generally like what you post.

56. Favorite color?

     I love darker colors on the cooler end of the color spectrum; mainly green, blue & purple. I even like pastel colors occasionally. Though that’s more likely when I’m being influenced by some of my alters who like lighter colors. Like Honey, who loves pastel colors, and all things sweet really. That’s why sunflowers are her favorite flower. She appreciates all the sunny and cheerful things in life. ☀️ In our inner world, she even has a garden that she tends to regularly, and grows (you guessed it) sunflowers, among other things.

57. Favorite food?

     Oh look, another tough one. Hmm... It really depends what I’m in the mood for. But my boyfriend recently started taking me to Schlotzsky’s, which has a lot of really good sandwiches. Though, I’m always down for some Arby’s. I’m in a rut there, but I don’t care. Their roast beef classic and curly fries are to die for. 😋

58. Last thing you ate?

     Speaking of Arby’s... 😆 I ate there for dinner last night in celebration of passing my proctored exam for my math class. It was worth 75% of my grade, and I wasn’t allowed to have anything (they even confiscated my bottle of water). It took 2 hours and was suuuper stressful. So my BF rewarded me with Arby’s when I passed~ 😄 This is just one of the many reasons why I love him~ 💖

59. First thing you ate this morning?

     It’s the morning right now, and I haven’t eaten yet... 😅 Does the two sips of my boyfriend’s coffee count?... No?... Okay. *sighs* I should go eat now actually, so I can take my morning meds. Thanks for reminding me, Tumblr ask!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

     I got first place in a race once... then immediately quit the track team. 😂 Running just wasn’t for me. I’ve won blue ribbons for art (culinary and painting mostly) before at the 4-H Fair, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a proper competition that I won. I recently participated in a Drag Show at my college, and even signed my performance (I know ASL, and I hoped it would make me stand out a bit against the competition), but I didn’t win. It was actually a really close call between all the participants, and the host/judge couldn’t decide who the audience cheered louder for, so the lady who’d set up this event had to come up and make the decision. I was one of the first people she decided should leave the stage. So, needless to say, I felt a little embarrassed and defeated afterwards.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

     I never even had detention 😂 ; I was a goody two-shoes growing up. I was always the teacher’s pet, so no, I was never suspended or expelled.

62. Been arrested? For what?

     ⬆️ See the point I made above for your answer. ⬆️ I’d have to cease being a goody two-shoes first before being arrested is even a possibility, so no, my record is squeaky clean... we won’t speak of the songs I’ve illegally downloaded from YouTube though. >-> <-< Don’t tell the po-po about this, or else I’ll be forced to participate in court-ordered rehab for my music addiction. 😂

63. Ever been in love?

     Yes~ 💘 I’m in love right now, with the most supportive and understanding man I’ve ever known~ I shouldn’t have to say who at this point, but I will. It’s my BF, Alex~ ❤️

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss.

     Well, this was back when I lived in Indiana. I had a core group of friends, that all happened to be on the LGBT+ spectrum, so we were practically dripping in rainbow-y goodness. 🌈 Mich, essentially the leader of the group, is trans. While Levi is gay and Laci (she thought she was a lesbian originally, and identified as such for the time that I knew her; I don’t really have contact with any of them anymore) is bi. That just leaves Sasha, who is also bi, and she was my first kiss. Mich, Sasha, I, and others (Levi and Laci weren’t there though) all decided to play spin-the-bottle. Sasha was the first person I landed on, and I still remember her kiss. It was soft, like a cloud, and tasted like strawberries. 🍓 It was a wonderful first kiss, but I definitely prefer kissing Alex the most~ 😍

65. Are you hungry right now?

     Well, considering I just ate a mini donut with my pills... yes, yes I am. 😂 ...Don’t you judge me either! Alex and I bought a bunch of mini donuts for our last D&D gaming sesh at Tyler’s, and there was still a bunch left over, so someone has to eat them, and I didn’t feel like making a proper breakfast. Plus, the one I ate is strawberry flavored, so how could I not eat it? If anyone turns down a strawberry donut, suspect immediately that they are a lizard-person.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

     What a savage question. No, I do not. I like all of my friends, equally, whether they’re online or offline. I only care if my friends are good people or not; and if they care and respect me as much as I do them. Whether they live nearby or not is of little importance to me. I base my friendships off of their character, their morals; not their place of residence.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

     Well, I don’t have a Twitter, and only really check my Facebook once in a blue moon. So... neither?... What, is that not an option? Fine... I choose Facebook... I guess.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

     Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

     No, I’m currently typing this... I am listening to music though, of course. 😆

70. Names of your best friends?

     Well, Tyler’s the only friend I have IRL that knows me, like, truly knows me. By that, I means she knows about my DID, among other diagnoses, as we’ve talked at length about both of our diagnoses before. Since she has Bipolar disorder, she gets what it’s like to have a “scary” mental illness; the ones that get characterized by media to always be violent and unhinged. She didn’t judge me or fear me, she only asked questions and tried to learn as much about my system as she could, which tells us that she truly cares and understands. I’ve told other people before, but they’re either no longer a part of my life, or were creeped out by my DID, and are choosing to forget that I ever told them in the first place. My Tumblr friends also know about my DID, given that I post about it and mention it in my blog bio, but there’s a certain level of anonymity on the internet that allows for me to be more open about it. Telling someone IRL? Now that’s terrifying. It takes a lot of trust, and given that I have had some bad reactions in the past, it makes it even more daunting.

71. Craving something? What?

     Honestly? A vacuum. And a mop, while I’m at it. I’ve been cleaning for most of the morning, and those are the only cleaning supplies that I need and don’t have. I keep trying to talk Alex into buying them, but he’s not as bothered by dirty floors as I am. He even walks around barefoot on these filthy floors! IDK how! Even if I’m wearing socks it bothers me. I don’t like stepping on anything, and the only way I don’t feel what’s on the ground is if I’m wearing shoes. So... I basically never take off my shoes except for when I’m in bed. 😂

72. What color are your towels?

     What a weird question. 😆 Before I moved in with Alex, I lived with my parents, and we didn’t have a standard color of towel. We had an assortment of colors from multiple old sets of towels, a lot of them raggedy, some of them bleached, most of them ancient. Then when I started living with Alex, we still have some towels of differing colors, but most of them are blue and soft~ ✨ The sheets and pillow cases are blue too, though a lighter shade.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

     Not anymore. I used to when I was younger though. When I was a kid my stuffed animals felt like my children. I would rotate which ones got to sleep with me each night, hug and kiss them all goodnight then tuck them in. If one of them fell out of my arms in the middle of the night, it would wake me up immediately. Not even a slow, groggy wake-up. It was like my motherly instinct was an alarm clock, so I would wake up instantly and be wide awake, frantically searching for the stuffed animal that fell out of my arms. I would then pick them up, dust them off and apologize, then snuggle them and drift off back to sleep. When I was a teenager, I mostly cuddled them when I was lonely and needed some companionship to fall asleep. Now that I snuggle and sleep with my boyfriend each night, I no longer sleep with my stuffed animals, but I still love them and keep them as decoration for my bed at my parent’s house, since I never really sleep there anymore. I nap there occasionally, but that’s about it.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

     Uhhh... I’ve never actually counted, but at least a tub full.

75. Favorite animal?

     Elephants and foxes, equally~ 💖

76. What color is your underwear?

     I’m wearing black panties at the moment. It’s satiny with lace, so it’s cute and comfy; the best of both worlds. 😉

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

     Definitely chocolate, 🍫 provided it’s not too rich.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

     I’m obsessed with matcha green tea ice cream right now, OMG, it’s sooo good~ 😋 Same goes for the matcha green tea frappuccino at Starbucks. It’s the only drink there that I actually get. I’ve tried other beverages they have, and generally don’t like them, but the matcha green tea frap is too delicious for it’s own good.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

     I’m actually wearing a really comfy dress right now, that I slept in as a nightgown last night. 😆 It’s gray and has a lace band on each sleeve.

80. What color pants?

     ⬆️ Once again, reference my previous entry. ⬆️ I am pantless, given that I’m sporting a dress at the moment.

81. Favorite TV show?

     Oh geez... another hard one. Let’s see... I’ll just put the name of the show I’m watching the most right now. That would have to be “Crazy Ex Girlfriend” on Netflix. Before that I watched the newest seasons of “BoJack Horseman” as well as “Orange Is the New Black”, but I’ve already finished those.

82. Favorite movie?

     Honestly, I’ve been really obsessed with “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” recently. When I re-watched it as an adult, I noticed how much more serious that movie is compared to Disney’s other films. They cover some pretty dark subject matter, and do it well... *sighs* if only they’d nixed the addition of the gargoyles. They ruin every emotional or tense scene that they’re placed in, and make the lighter scenes just plain cringey. I know they wanted to make it suitable for kids, but I think Disney underestimates what kids can handle, especially considering they reference the darker scenes subtly enough so as to keep the movie’s G rating intact. Like what about the goat, Djali, that belongs to Esmeralda? The goat could have been the comic relief, but instead they brought in the talking gargoyles. They couldn’t even do something cool with the gargoyles, like make them a part of Quasi’s imagination. He’s been alone in a bell tower for his entire life, so it would make sense that he would begin talking to the statues and giving them personalities... but no... it’s shown at the end that the gargoyles can interact with and impact the real world, making them a part of it as well.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

     Well, considering I’ve only ever seen the first one, and didn’t even know there was a second one, I’m gonna have to go with “Mean Girls”.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

     I’ve never seen “21 Jump Street”, so once again, “Mean Girls” takes the cake.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

     Oh, that’s hard, especially when they’re all such fun characters. Janis is pretty cool, so she’s up there, but Karen is probably my favorite. She’s such a simple, naive soul, you can’t help but love her.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

     Dory, hands down. But I wanna give a special shout-out to Bubbles, the character from the fish tank that, (you guessed it) is obsessed with bubbles. 😆 He cracks me up every time.

87. First person you talked to today?

     Alex. Considering we both wake up in the same bed, it would be nearly impossible for him not to be the one I talk to first thing in the morning.

88. Last person you talked to today?

     Once again, Alex, given that it’s still early in the day and I haven’t seen anybody else yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

     All of my abusers. Every. Single. One. They made me feel small, worthless, and unloved. So I hope each one of them feels that way for the rest of their miserable existences.

90. Name a person you love?

     My boyfriend, Alex~ He’s my world, my hopes and dreams, and everything I aspire to be~ 💖

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

     No. I want to punch all of my abusers in the balls. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly, until they’re infertile.

92. In a fight with someone?

     No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

     Only one. I want to buy more, but that requires that I have money, which I don’t.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

     I have my Nirvana sweatshirt, my “Nightmare Before Christmas” sweatshirt, and two hoodies with my college logo on them. One’s gray and the other is red.

95. Last movie you watched?

     “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.

96. Favorite actress?

     I have no idea. So I’m gonna go find a list of the top 100 actresses and go from there. *some time passes* So, I found an actress I actually know, and that’s Krysten Ritter, who played Jessica Jones on Netflix’s hit series named (you guessed it again! Wow, you’re really good at this.) “Jessica Jones”.

97. Favorite actor?

     That’s a tie between Robin Williams (I really miss him... He was such a vibrant and energetic actor, who also knew how to portray more serious, and heart-felt scenes. He was a skilled actor and a good man. May he rest in peace.) and Tom Hanks. I like quite a few films starring those actors.

98. Do you tan a lot?

     Never.

99. Have any pets?

     No... 😭 RIP Batman and Robin (my previous pet hermit crabs).

100. How are you feeling?

     Productive! I practically cleaned the whole apartment in like 2 hours this morning, and just finished another third of this ask! I’m on a roll, and intend to do homework in a minute. For now though, I’d like to thank everyone who read through to the end, as well as thank @lovelynhiddenkittens for sending the ask in the first place! Sorry it’s taking so much time to finish it, but I’m over halfway done now! Whoo~! 🎉 *sets off a confetti popper and basks in the confetti shower* Anyways, take care everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day (or night, wherever you are, just have a wonderful time!) See ya ‘round the bend~! 👋

*grabs a broom and begins sweeping up the confetti, muttering to myself* Why do I do this? Every time, I know I’m gonna have to clean it, but I do it anyway...

[greenishbucket]

some assorted check, please! fic recs

not at all exhaustive, of course! but i’ve read a lot of fic in the years since i first came across this comic and probably not given any the amount of love they deserve, so this is just a selection of some

scared to let your guard down by cumulativeChaos (Ford/Lardo, 4.8k)

Ford isn't an art student, but she likes to visit the art building. It's got a nice view of Lake Quad, a nice view of the art pieces, and a nice view of the pretty senior girl who's always working on the fifth floor. 

Comments: I love Ford all the time despite the little canon we have of her, but I just love Ford here; the humour in her narrative voice, her sweetness, and her determination to make college good despite the isolation-in-a-crowd, nothing’s-wrong-but-it’s-not-right-either feeling which is such a staple of starting college imo. And while as a fic it’s more broadly about that freshman year character growth of finding yourself and setting down new roots, the Ford/Lardo grows from this base and is all the better for it! The way their gradual relationship development is weaved through the fic is really satisfying, and all their interactions are so, so sweet.

too complicated for simple labels (but they sure do help) by @pongpalace/jamesiee (aro!March, QPP March & Ransom, 4.5k)

“What’s 'aromantic' mean?” March asks suddenly, stuck on the ending. “So you know how asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction right? Aro is basically the same except it’s the absence of romantic attraction.” “Romantic attraction?” March hasn’t ever heard the two words put together like that. “Uh, the part of you that wants to like um, date someone. Crushes and stuff.”

Comments: I reread this fic soo often. March’s (and her friends’) understanding of her aromanticism unfolding is handled with such care and nuance. The attention to (especially physical) details makes March’s experiences so vivid and the fic really highlights just how much romance is assumed to be central to people’s lives in big and small ways. But alongside there are always hints of change, and willingness to learn and respect, that keep the overall tone hopeful! March’s relationship with Ransom, which is a delight of mutual respect and and finding peaceful reprieve in each other’s company with a side of dorkiness and cuddles, really cements that.

hold me in this wild, wild world by @queerbycrs/darlingargents (Lardo/Camilla, 666 words)

Lardo thought, sometimes, that Camilla was like the sun.

Comments: I’m not sure I’ve ever been so thoroughly affected by a fic under 1k before. It manages to capture the gentleness and constant-lowkey-settled-affection of a slice of established relationship life so well, and the use of art language/metaphor/etc throughout feels really fitting for Lardo.

untitled fic by @nanlicia (Ransom/Nursey, 1k maybe at a glance)

Justin unlocks the door to his apartment at 4.27am, fighting to keep his eyes open just a minute longer - he only has to make it the 12 steps to his bed.

Comments: Sweet enough to cause tooth decay, honestly. I love domesticity in all it’s slightly unappealing realness, the kind where the trying-to-impress period has passed, and here Nursey eating Ransom’s teriyaki and Ransom being too tired to have sex is a great show of that. The dialogue in particular is a delight.

Little Sour Hearts by @omgericzimmermann (Holster/Esther Shapiro, 6.1k)

The girl is wearing a candy stripe apron, and right as Holster walks into the shop, she makes a face like she’s just taken a bite out of a lemon.

“I can go,” Holster offers.

Comments: Woooooow! I love this take on Holster (and his growth!) and the whole construction of Esther who we barely know!! As suggested by the tags, they are both disasters, and it’s both adorable and achey and I could read so many more fics about these two. Plus their families! The section with Holster’s booming dad and Esther’s eyeliner and sharing truffles was just so much. Esther working in a sweet shop and Holster just taking whatever stuff she offers is a really nice opening-closing link, too, and throughout I just really enjoyed their whole dorky thing.

bless this mess and call it a home by pepperfield (Nursey/Dex, 27.4k)

The thing is, being able to talk to houses doesn't actually preclude them from conspiring to ruin your life. Dex finds this out a little too late. First comes the Dib Flip, then Nursey's bed, and the water heater...the Haus definitely has it in for him.

In which Dex has house magic, Haus has Haus magic, and at least one of them is in love with Nursey.

Comments: I feel like this must be a staple of any Nursey/Dex reading? But it deserves a mention here, because I’ve read it so many times and I adore the entire concept of a living Haus and domestic magic. The dialogue between everyone but esp Dex and Nursey is a delight and really enviable in how it feels so organic, plus the classic of Dex thinking it’s just the house’s feelings (oh, hon) stretches out for the most enjoyable length of time.

hand on your heart by @zombiesolace (Chowder/Lardo/Nursey, 6.1k)

Three struggling art students and a whole lotta love.

Comments: Very stressed but passionate and loving art students Chowder, Lardo, and Nursey is everything I didn’t know I needed. The detail of the Art Experience is really immersive and I loved how the three of them all linked up bit by bit. The inclusion of Charmer through text was so nice, too, and I really like how they all just go for it? I love some dragged out mutual pining but this was just so refreshing, and so fun! 

The Takeover by @giraffeter (Bitty/Jack, Shitty/Lardo, SMH friendship, 47k (WIP))

When Eric Bittle started his new job at a local tech startup, he wasn't expecting to find a home.

When pro hockey player Jack Zimmermann agreed to a sponsored Instagram takeover for his favorite nutrition tracking app, he wasn't expecting their social media person to be quite so cute.

When Shitty Knight founded a company, he wasn't expecting being his friends' boss would be this hard.

(AU in which the gang all work together at a tech startup)

Comments: It may be hot off the presses, but this fic has already made its place as one of my most fav Check, Please fics out there!! This is some of the most consistently enjoyable and on point characterisation, dialogue, and journeys of everyone and I actually really like the amount of insight into start up businesses! So so so satisfyingly cohesive, and just a general joy to read! Catch my probs v incoherent comment on the last chapter when it comes to get a more live reaction :D