#AskHCs

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: there is an akuma....that is giving everyone gender dysphoria!!!!! run!!!!

Tigress: "Bitch I already deal with this time to fight fire with fire!"

Capricorn: "Oh mood!"

[the1918]

Please tell us more about slutty virgin Steve there is not enough of him

Slutty virgin Steve:

Has been in love with Bucky Barnes since 1934, but was always to afraid to act on it/say anything re: Bucky is a ladies man and homosexuality was very much a crime.

Wakes up in the twenty-first century and is still Very Gay, but he doesn’t /do/ anything about it because 1) he has conditioned himself to be quiet and private about his preferences and 2) to him, Bucky died, like, three days ago.

Jerks off to thoughts of being smol again and Bucky pinning him down and fucking his mouth. Is very sad afterwards.

OOP BUCKY’S ALIVE 

Bucky’s alive and he comes home and he spends some time recovering in the apartment he shares with Steve now, etc etc, anyways.

Bucky is alive and Bucky is... a Grade A Beefcake. Steve’s sad jerking off becomes guilty jerking off, but it’s more than that, because now Bucky is constantly around and he’s wearing sweatpants that ride too low on his hips and Bucky likes wifebeater tanks and Steve’s horny level has been turned up to eleven (11).

Steve is only sneaky and quiet when he’s on the battlefield.

Steve is neither sneaky nor quiet when he is experimenting with fingerfucking himself in the shower.

Bucky is a good listener—especially when people are actively saying his name out loud. 

(Steve showers, and Bucky listens.)

(Bucky also finds a new, unfamiliar razor in said shower. A smattering of little black dark blond curlies clings to it. Bucky thinks about Steve shaving himself smooth and testing the new grounds with the tips of his own fingers and biting his lips until they’re as red as his cheeks and Bucky fucks his own fist and paints the shower wall.)

Steve shops online for dildos on his tablet, but he can never bring himself to check out his shopping cart, too much internalized shame, too scared someone will find out.

Steve has considered exploring phallic objects that do not come from adam and eve dot com, but 1) zucchinis do not have a flared base, and Steve thinks safety is Very Important and would literally have to off himself if Bucky had to drive him to the ER because he got a squash stuck in his rectum, and 2) Steve grew up in the Depression. Steve does not waste food.

So Steve shameshops for dildos online, buys zero (0) dildos.

Steve is bad at browser security. 

Steve and Bucky share a tablet.

Bucky checks out the shopping cart.

A package arrives one day from a nondescript sender, and it is addressed to Steve’s attention. Bucky picks it up and takes it into the kitchen.

“Package for you, Stevie.”

“Oh? Okay, um. Don’t remember ordering anything...”

“Open it then. Find out.”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.”

(Bucky files it away in his mind to scold Steve later—ten spanks should do it—for being an idiot who opens strange packages just because big, beefy soldiers hand them to him)

“Whatcha got there, Stevie?”

“It’s... um... I don’t think they had the right—”

“Show me.”

“... No.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s not mine.”

“What’s not yours?”

“This. All of it. I think someone played a prank on me.”

“Just show me, Steve.”

“I. I don’t want to.”

“Are you really saying that everything in that box—whatever it is—is totally unfamiliar to you? You’ve never seen it before?”

“...Yes.”

“...”

“That is what I am saying.”

“...”

“...”

“Steve?”

“... Yeah, Buck?”

“Do you want to take me up to your bedroom and show off what the mailman brought you?”

***

(It’s dildos.)

(The mailman brought dildos.)

[x]

[scaredysap]

oh sure, so now swapping uncles is a plot point in DMBJ. sure, why not.

[blondekasp]

Richie is super smart and I can imagine all The Losers being surprised by this, all except Eddie who just assumed everyone knew. Like Richie says somthing insightful and everyone else is taken aback meanwhile Eddie's just like... 'we been knew?'

ooh this is an interesting one!!

i think that when the losers find out richie’s actually really smart, they’re surprised but not because they think he’s dumb or stupid but more because they’re so used to richie acting like he has zero common sense lmao

but their grade cards arrive one day and they all go down to the barrens after school, and they have their grade cards with them so they decide to discuss them just for something to talk about for a while

(i’m not american so idk exactly how the grading system works but) when they get to richie they find out that he’s gotten at least straight As in all of his classes apart from gym because he’s not the most athletic person

they all seem surprised by this because they don’t actually have any classes with richie so they’ve never seen him do school work, and richie seems bashful under their shocked expressions because he doesn’t usually get this type of attention

but eddie’s sort of confused as to why they’re surprised, he’s always thought it was fairly obvious that richie’s very academic behind the crude jokes and impressions

he doesn’t realise that this is because he subconsciously pays much more attention to richie than the rest of the losers do

he watches richie at the lunch table quickly scribbling down the solutions to whatever maths homework he has due for his next class, and he’s in a more advanced class than eddie so it’s not quite clear to him if richie’s doing the work right but eddie thinks he must be, because he writes without hesitance and appears to be solving them pretty quickly in his head

eddie notices that richie’s notebook has highlighter pen and doodles scrawled all over it, he wonders if it’s to help richie with keeping his focus on his work

he helps the losers sometimes when they’re stuck with something, just a throw away comment to get their mind back on track but none of them ever seem to think of it

eddie’s heard how richie talks about comics during the small hours of the night at sleepovers, it might not seem like much but he has a very deep understanding of the characters he reads about, on a level eddie’s not sure he would be able to achieve without richie’s insights

so they all gawk and laugh out of pure surprise, but eddie just smiles at richie because he’s always known, it makes him feel sort of special to be the only one who can see through the jokes, maybe he understands richie like richie understands the characters in his comics

he’s kinda got tunnel vision for richie without realising it

[topcellulardeals]

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[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: *points laser pointer to ground infront of all of the team to see what happens*

*POUNCE*

*CRASH*

"Fucking OW!!"

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: i know who chat is, chat is infact...ZOE, IT ALL MAKES SENSE!

Chat: ".... If I point out that Zoé Lee was in America until a few months ago while I've been in Paris the past year, you're just going to counter with the fact we have Portals and Time Travel, right?"

Talon: "See this is where we point out that you've only just recently discovered gender fluidity. If you /were/ Zoé, you wouldn't have 'pretended' to be a boy when she still considers herself a girl."

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: so what would y'all do if an older looking zoe, who is missing an arm, and has a scar on her right eye, just showed up, acted outright terrified around ladybug, and was refusing to let honeybee go from a hug...

then the moment she saw audrey...it was like on sight and proceded to beat the sh*t out of her and it took like 3 heroes to get her off

Carapace: "Bold of you to assume we'd pull her off."

Honeybee: "Whatever hell she'd been through, we're keeping her safe now."

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: to the emotions inside chats head, whats it like in there?

For a second, the screen switches to show what seems to be a control panel on fire.

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: hey honeybee, how much do you care about talon, and would you lay down your life for her?

Honeybee: "Option A is to make sure we both survive, any means necessary. Barring that, what older sister wouldn't do whatever they had to?"

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: there is a goat akuma forcing everyone to play goat simulator!!

Pegasus: "Wait. Are we all goats or are we just npcs?"

Capricorn: "Well I'm probably on team goat."

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: to the kwami's, is it possible for the miraculous to lose all protection and be corrupted by radiation from a broken miraculous

Ladybug: "Answering for them because they don't show up on video: But as far as they know, the Miraculous wouldn't do that on their own. They'd need some outside infection."

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: capricorn and rooster door, you are team goats, everyone else is npc, have fun :)

Falun Feather: "... Door? And why am I a goat?"

Capricorn: "You'll always be the 'GOAT' in my heart!"

Falun Feather turns very red at this.

Rena: "One of these days I need to study how becoming a Hero makes shy people ridiculous flirts."

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: i have a huge theory, chat is cheating on ladybug...WITH ADRIEN AGGREST!!!!

Ladybug: "That doesn't count someone as wonderful as Adrien is clearly on the freebie list!"

[princess-of-the-corner]

askHC: hey bunnyx, did you see how your counterpart was doing in that one reality?

Bunnyx: "If you mean the Apex one, I saw.... something. Didn't want to spend too long on it because I'm kinda inter-connected with my other Timelines and don't want it spreading here."

[princess-of-the-corner]

AskHC: That sounds about right, based on what I've heard about the events of that day.

I wasn't in Paris or even in France at the time this all happened, so I had to research the events myself.

It was actually quite easy, the Ladyblog had all the information I needed. Of course, I can't help but... never mind. We should stay on the topic at hand.

It is quite strange that Hawkmoth never employed Mayura again after that. I have a few theories on why, but I would like to know your theories on it first.

-I.

Ladybug: "Hm. Well. We didn't know it at first, but we quickly learned that the Peacock Miraculous had been damaged. When Mayura did come out, it seemed to make her weak and sick. Getting worse every time."

Chat: "Hawkmoth seems to care about her, so maybe in another Timeline he convinced her to stay out of the fight for her own health."

Ladybug: "On the other hand.... a broken Miraculous is a bit unpredictable. It's possible that, in another Timeline, the damage was more severe and she couldn't continue as a partner."