#Ask cyan snail

[ask-grian]

eating diamonds because nutrition and crunch

-(@askgriansnail)

well I’m pretty sure diamonds have no nutritional value but you’re a snail who am I to stop you

[whereiscyansnail]

playing hide and seek? :0

cyan snail is trying to seek everyone !!

[whereiscyansnail]

cyan snail is ready to defeat the ender dragon !!

Oh my goodness! I just saw Pink snail and Cyan snail head off to beat the ender dragon. Hope the dragon doesnt get beat too badly!

pink snail is on the spawn platform !! she is waiting for @whereiscyansnail to join her !!

[asketho]

Oh snappers! Go get your snacks!

BdoubleO100 told me about this whole blogging thing... he said that the Ethogirls were a bit scary but... it can't be that bad, right?

Asks always open!

Please:

Send as many asks as you'd like; plaintext (non-emoji) signoffs are preferred, but do what you like!

Send lore-heavy asks, as much or as few as you'd like

Send silly/non-lore asks

Please do not:

Be excessively NSFW. Mod is an adult, but this is not the place for it beyond innuendo/implied

Be genuinely rude or cruel to anyone, Ethomod, other mods, or other askers! Roleplay is fine, but if there are concerns I will step in.

Assume I speak for any other ask blogs, even those below in my links section. We all know each other, but we are not a hivemind. Respect their boundaries on their blogs as you respect mine on mine.

Important info & housekeeping links below the cut - posted jun 9, updated jun 27 - please read

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT ACTUALLY ETHO. IF ONLY.

i try my best to recreate his style but i am, at the end of the day, just a really autistic he/him. please be nice to me

This is also my interpretation of Etho, as a character [do NOT come for me I do NOT condone being weird to real life ccs - see below] and YMMV

Tags & Links

About this c!Etho

AskEtho Timeline (important events)

The Ask Hermitblr Discord

#blog-e-e's / #blog e e's: in character posts

#mod-e-e's / #mod e e's: out-of-character [ooc] posts

#nsfw & #nsfhc: self explanatory. minors dni. block only #nsfhc if you only want to avoid it on this particular blog

#art-e-e's / #art e e's: posts with sketches by me!

I tag names mentioned in asks (ex: "what do you think about doc doing xyz?" -> #docm77). If a creator goes by their real life name (ex: joel smallishbeans, lizzie ldshadowlady, etc) I will use that when writing responses but I only tag as their full player name [except etho]

Other Hermits

General Guidelines

Ariana Griande / @arianagriand3

Bad Boys / @ask-thebadboys

Bdubs / @askbdubsblog

BigB / @ask-bigbstatz

Cleo / @ask-zcleo

Cubfan / @ask-cubfan

Cuteguy / @ask-cuteguy

Cyan Snail / @askcyansnail

Doccy / @ask-doccy

Docm77 / @ask-docm77

Etho / @asketho <- YOU ARE HERE

Evil Xisuma / @ask-evil-x

False / @ask-falsesymmetry

Gem / @ask-gemgem

Grian / @ask-grian

Grumbot / @ask-grumbot

Hotguy / @ask-hotguy

Impulse / @ask-impulse

Jimmy / @ask-jimmy-solidarity

Jrumbot / @ask-jrumbot

Lizzie / @ask-fairy-lizzie

Logoslab / @asklogoslab

Martyn / @ask-martyn

Mother Spore / @ask-mother-spore

Mumbo / @ask-mumbojumbo

NPC Grian / @ask-npc-grian

Pearl / @askpearlescentmoon

Poultry Man / @iampoultryman

Ren / @askrendog

Scar / @ask-gtwscar

Scott / @ask-smajor

Skizz / @ask-skizzleman

Smallishbeans / @ask-smallishbeans

Stress / @ask-stressmonster

Tango / @ask-tangotek

Watchers / @ask-the-watchers

Wels / @ask-welsknight

Xisuma / @ask-xisuma

Zedaph / @ask-zedaph

Don't bring real life discourse here. Etho does not care about this or that or problematic whatevers. The mod does, but asks about it will be deleted unless specifically addressed to the mod.

I reserve the right to delete asks that are not relevant, make me uncomfortable, are triggering, or sexually explicit. While NSFW is allowed to a degree it will always be tagged both as #nsfw & #nsfhc [so you can avoid specifically this blog's nsfw without having to block the general tag]. Minors should not interact with nsfw posts and I will check.

If you use a cc's real name when they don't actively go by that online [ex: bdubs' real name is online but he does not use it for yt] I will delete your ask or answer privately telling you to resubmit. I respect their privacy and I expect you to do the same. I will not discuss events in the real life cc's personal life most of the time

[asklogoslab]

Yo. Welcome to my blog, or whatever. My estranged brother won't talk to me but maybe some of you will.

My name's Logo. Don't forget it.

There's not really any great pictures of me out here, so for now I'm using this picture of my brother by kingtheghast.

<<important ooc below the readmore>>

this blog is not currently active. if you would like the url please message us on here

Logomod is not actually affiliated with Etho or anybody else, tragically enough

Logomod is an adult but does not want NSFW asks

Logomod speaks only for asklogoslab and does not speak for any other ask blogs

Logomod likes lore a lot and is fine with spamming anons

Logomod is watching

Some other hermitblr ask blogs below: Poultry man @iampoultryman Bdubs @askbdubsblog Tango @ask-tangotek Jimmy @ask-jimmy-solidarity Scar @ask-gtwscar Ren @askrendog Gem @ask-gemgem Pearl @askpearlescentmoon Mumbo @ask-mumbojumbo Marytn @ask-martyn Xisuma @ask-xisuma Evil Xisuma @ask-evil-x Hotguy @ask-hotguy Cuteguy @ask-cuteguy Ariana griande @arianagriand3 Grumbot @ask-grumbot Docm77 @ask-Docm77 Joel @ask-smallishbeans Zedaph @ask-zedaph Mother Spore @ask-mother-spore Cub @ask-cubfan Cyan Snail @askgriansnail

Blog Guide

#logospeak - in character #logomod - out of character #logo special edition - important moderation posts

out of character will be written as ((in double parentheses))

Join the discord (16+) https://discord.gg/FNZNtSsRrV

[askhermitblr]

Ask!Hermitblr Directory & Information

Hello, hello! This blog and any links not otherwise specified are maintained by Ethomod, @asketho. This contains useful links and other information about our particular group of roleplay blogs.

None of us are the content creators. None of us claim to be.

Each blog is run by different people (save for a few exceptions) and each person has their own rules. Please read their pinned post and follow each individual's rules for their own blog. Above all, be respectful.

Reblogs and posts pertaining to a particular blog will be tagged with that blog's name. This blog's tag is #askhermblr.

Need to be added to the spreadsheet? Please tag this blog. You are also welcome to send an ask or a message with any links or info you want added or removed.

Important links below!

This is my directory spreadsheet that I maintain! The first section is for "primary" blogs while the second section is for OCs, anons, and other characters such as S8 Moonbig and Cyan Snail. The primary blogs are sortable and have notes on particular blogs, if relevant.

Our Discord server! This server is 16+ only. We also have a Minecraft server, roleplay channels, and lots of fun!

[scrufflesksunnide]

MISC/OC BIOS:

"Jam" (Class Unknown)

Age: 11 Likes: Their Younger Brother, Spears, Bombs... uhhhh, has a bit of an odd liking to weapons... and oh of course Berries Dislikes: Snails... that's it? that's literally it? nothing else just snails?? "Given the fortune to be more stable enough to be in the normal world, they are taken in by the likes of Enot and Survivor as their child along with their Sibling, They are still young and pure... okay maybe not "pure"." "Jam is quite the little troublemaker! They will do anything to fight the next mean red lizard they see, it has helped Survivor a few times actually! But under all of that trouble is a goofy sibling who just wants to have fun, they may not know what's going on yet, but something tells me that they can be something great when they grow up. Oddly enough, they can grow fruit from their body, no body knows how or why but they can be pretty good at keeping the food count just a bit more higher, even if them spawning fruit is at random. Jam is passion and shares the same amount of stubbor- I mean, determination as Enot." "Popcorn" (Class Unknown)

Age: 7 Likes: Popcorn, Popcorn, and finally, Popcorn... Oh and they also like flowers and their family :DDD Dislikes: Cyan Lizards, Water, the color Green. (We had to change the color of the Likes text because they wouldn't stop crying, Green scares them... Saint has to change color in order to even step foot in Survivor's Home.) "After being in a normal world for once, They... do not seem to be super interested as long as they get popcorn plants. They do enjoy the change of pace though, and despite their simple minded nature, they just like their sibling, are a ticking time bomb of chaos waiting to happen." "Popcorn can produce popcorn directly from their tail! They usually don't eat it as the taste of their own popcorn is more buttery, while everyone else likes it, Popcorn does not, therefore they ask to get normal popcorn instead whenever there's the chance. They are not as fight focused as their sibling, they are a little more relaxed but still just as goofy as their sibling, they often to not react to pain at all. They also are a bit clumsy and overall just not focused at all at what's happening around them but are still curious about it all, they are a lil air-headed. They share much of the same child-like wonders as Monk and Survivor in their childhood years." "Hunter JR"/"JR"

Age: For as long as Hunter has had their Rot. Likes: Red Lizard meat, rocks, warmth. Dislikes: Other Rot, Vultures, Spiders... yeah I don't blame you on that one. "After being split from Hunter's body, a new life takes form... At first Hunter was not sure on what to make of their rot being more... lively, more child-like. But after sometime, Hunter got attached. And with their abilities and cooperation, Hunter JR became more than just a rot that day, they became the only rot that could." "Their characteristics are almost of that of Hunter's but more child-like and curious. Almost like ALL of hunter's childhood memories were just put into JR completely! Pure but still willing to kick ass! They are not infectious like most rot are, a lot more expressive than rot are, and are huggable and squishy! If Hunter is the Hero, then JR is the sidekick! They cannot see color like Hunter, HOWEVER, they can see heat! and in a weird way, can tell whos a friend and who's an enemy just by that heat alone! They usually like to cling onto people they like, usually Spearmaster... Fun fact: How Spearmaster even knew Hunter had a crush on them was because of how affectionate JR is to Spearmaster specifically, JR reflects off of Hunter's emotions too so... yeaaaah to say the least, Hunter was a bit embarrassed okay not even a bit, VERY embarrassed. Despite that, JR means well and their only instinct is to help Hunter in need."

More MISC/OCS to come soon!

[where-is-cleo]

How about something different? Talking to the blog creator - say something nice about three or more of your whereismcyt friends. Can be done multiple times.

Okay, okay, prepares my fingers

In no particular order (and I apologise if I repeat myself), here it comes!:

1. @whereisgem You're a great friend, someone I can always count on and amazing nonetheless! <3

2. @where-is-cub You're wonderful! You always make everyone smile and bring joy to the server! <3

3. @whereisrendog You're super fun! Your jokes have never failed to make me laugh and you bring life to the party! <3

4. @where-are-cleo-and-joe Your edits are always marvellous, you have a great personality and you're a splendid person to be around! <3

5. @where-is-welsknight You both are astounding! I love your art A LOT, and your edits are very entertaining! <3

6. @where-is-ethubs / @where-is-cuteguy You're lovely! It's very fun to be around you and you're a hard-working person, keep that in mind! <3

7. @making-mcyts-drown (putting you in here because I'd say you count!) You're a genius with this blog, you started a trend that a few followed of making such blogs and it's *incredibly funny*! <3

8. @whereiscyansnail You're an amazing person to be around, your energetic personality basically gets to other people and you pump everyone with energy without even knowing! <3

(Read the next one too silly! :3)

9. @where-is-pink-snail You're amazing at art! You're a gentle person and you have bright ideas! And I can say the same about both you and cyan snail because you two are basically twins and were meant to be (platonically) hehe! <3

10. @whereissmajor / @where-is-jimmysolidarity / @(the laurenzside one but I can't find it 💔) I'm so glad I inspired you to make a blog! You're amazing, and I love that you go around giving bread asks because...why not? Bread is great!

10 blogs. To the anonymous person, send another one of these cause I might do a batch of these once a week :]

Love you all! Please do not be sad if you weren't here because...you'll be next! (Probably!)

[ask-cubfan]

Hello and welcome!

I herd other hermits were on here so I decided I would jump in on the action. you can send me questions in the ask box and i will try my best to answer them!

[I AM NOT ACCTUALLY CUBFAN135. i wish i was tho]

my cub's lore(subject to change/alteratons):

-vex hybrid

-only has memories of Hermitcraft

-can be a bit sarcastic, but has good intentions

-appears out of nowhere sometimes, he is nowhere and everywhere at once

-he may or may not be a cannibal, yknow, vex instincts and whatnot. he does hold back tho

ask rules:

NO nsfw or sexually explicit asks are allowed, but shipping is

lore asks are encouraged, but i wont gurantee that i will understand it

no harrasment towards me or any other ask blogs I interact with

[descriptors and added things will be in brackets]

-

tags:

#ask cubfan - ask answers

#ask cub lore - anything lore related like stories, asks that relate to his character, etc

#cubfession answers - cub answers your gimmicks from my strawpage!

-

strawpage - send him your worst

cubfessionbox.straw.page

-

my fellow ask blogs:

Etho @asketho

Grian @ask-grian

Poultry man @iampoultryman

Bdubs @askbdubsblog

Tango @ask-tangotek

Jimmy @ask-jimmy-solidarity

Scar @ask-gtwscar

Ren @askrendog

Gem @ask-gemgem

Pearl @askpearlescentmoon

Mumbo @ask-mumbojumbo

Marytn @ask-martyn

Xisuma @ask-xisuma

Evil Xisuma @ask-evil-x

Hotguy @ask-hotguy

Cuteguy @ask-cuteguy

Ariana griande @arianagriand3

Grumbot @ask-grumbot

Docm77 @ask-Docm77

Joel @ask-smallishbeans

Zedaph @ask-zedaph

Mother Spore @ask-mother-spore

Cyan Snail @askgriansnail

Logoslab @asklogoslab

Bad boys @ask-thebadboys

thats about it. farwell!

[whereiscyansnail]

both cyan snail and the mod dee solqrays are here to congratulate!! but oh no , cyan snail is climbing on the table !

Happy 100 followers to me :)

I decided to dress up for this occasion and bake a cake

tagging yall so you can enjoy the party

@where-is-pink-snail @where-is-cleo @where-is-xornoth @whereisgem @where-is-welsknight @where-did-joe-go @where-is-ethoslab @gtws-in-various-places @wheres-wormhex @where-is-grains-mending-book @whereissmajor @whereisrendog @where-are-cleo-and-joe @where-is-vintagebeef @where-is-smallishbeans @where-is-bdubs @where-is-cub @ldshadowlady-in-various-places @where-is-paper-cub @whereispearlescentmoon @whereislaurencezvahl @whereistherealsquiddo @whereiscyansnail @places-where-impulse-shouldnt-be @where-is-olivesleepy

[ask-grian]

snail? (⠀ ᴖ ˶ ⨯)つ ๑ï

found one n gave it to etho too! might give one to gem if i find another,,

-💫

OHH my darling baby snail!!!

What chaos has it been causing, hmm??

_______@i

[whereiscyansnail]

playing ping pong with another snail :3

cyan snail is waiting for @where-is-pink-snail to join them for a game of ping pong !!

[ask-martyn]

I heard the hermits n everyone were on here and I felt a lil silly

Can’t be that bad right?? RIGHT?????

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT ACTUALLY MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD I WISH MAN

Some things about my Martyn

Things said by the author will be said in italics :>

This Martyn’s went through all the smps and inbetween them he’s just stuck in the void until the next one

His Vtuber lore is only semi-canon

He’s mostly human looking minus the pointy ears

This bad boy can hold so much watcher trauma in him!

Tags

#Martyn answers - he answered an ask :D

#Ask Martyn - The tag for the blog

Tags regarding duos, ships etc will be tagged by mention as well :>

General ask rules

Keep the nsfw to a bare minimum this is mostly for silly goofy purposes

Keep your beef and irl arguments to yourself

Respect the actual CCs privacy that should be a given

Finally this isn’t rping the content creator, just the character

Friends

Grian - @ask-grian

Jimmy - @ask-jimmy-solidarity

Mumbo - @ask-mumbojumbo

Tango - @ask-tangotek

Scar - @ask-gtwscar

Ren - @askrendog

Gem - @ask-gemgem

Pearl - @askpearlescentmoon

Xisuma - @ask-xisuma

Evil Xisuma - @ask-evil-x

Poultry man - @iampoultryman

CuteGuy - @ask-cuteguy

Hotguy - @ask-hotguy

Ariana Griande - @arianagriand3

Grumbot - @ask-grumbot

Docm77 - @ask-Docm77

Joel - @ask-smallishbeans

Zedaph - @ask-zedaph

Cub - @ask-cubfan

Mother Spore - @ask-mother-spore

Bdubs - @askbdubsblog

Cyan Snail - @askgriansnail

Bad Boys - @ask-thebadboys

[sawdusst]

The Rainmaker Heist Chapter 8 (Coroika Pirate Au)

yeesh, this chapter took longer than I hoped for. I'm super excited for the next one though! :D Also I guess we're on chapter 8? I had this labeled as Chapter 7 in my Google Docs and I got all confused lmao

But ANYWAYS enjoy!!! :D we're approaching the end of our shenanigans :" Thank you to everyone who's made it to this chapter :D

Here's the link to the main thread

Previous chapter

Word Count: 1,157

====== [ ⚓ ] ======

[Talk to the locals] 

"Welcome to Hagglefish Market!"

“Jellyfish. Why are there so many jellyfish,” Gloves whispered as the two walked further into the busy town. “There’s so many jellyfish.” 

It was a quiet section of town, with only a few other inklings and octolings walking around.

“What an interesting place,” Half Rim commented.

The two wandered around the bustling town with warm lanterns lining the streets. Gloves occasionally stopped to look through a few shop windows. There were vendors lining the streets, selling assortments of colorful glass beads and merchandise. 

“Do you know if we have any cash? I might buy a souvenir or two,” Gloves commented.

“I probably have some,” Half Rim replied, “But you still owe me 30 thousand cash from last time.”

Gloves sighed with frustration, "Of course I do.”

As the two walked further down the road, there was a stage in the center of the town. It was a large stage with two banners on either side of it. Gloves tilted his head with curiosity.

“Huh, I wonder what’s that all about,” Gloves asked. He told Half Rim to wait for him as he walked closer to the small crowd.

Gloves walked over to the large banners. The stage was empty, but had a multitude of items on display in glass cases. There was a small pile of Super Sea Snails, a pair of bright red sneakers, a radio, and a few other things. Then, Gloves noticed an object raised on a podium. It was towards the back of the stage and had a bright red tarp covering it. 

“What is this event for?” Gloves asked an inkling standing next to him.

“It’s an auction!” The latter responded with a smile, “Twice a year, Hagglefish Market hosts an auction with all sorts of treasures overseas.”

“An auction?” Gloves asked again, “So… all of these items are for sale? What is the thing under the tarp?” 

The inkling shrugged, “No idea. They haven’t revealed it yet. They'll probably say something about it later tonight.”

“Ah...”

“The auction starts at sundown,” the inkling said, “If you want to sign up there's still spots open!”

Gloves looked over at the information booth near the stage, where there were inklings and octolings signing up. He thanked the inkling and walked away. There were also a few who got to walk up onto the stage to look at the objects up close. Gloves walked back over to Half Rim.

“It’s an auction,” Gloves noted, then pointed to the red tarp, “I wonder what that is over there.”

“I bet it’s nothing special,” Half Rim shrugged, turning to leave.

“I’m going to have a look at the stuff,” Gloves replied, “I'll be right back.”

Gloves then wandered back over to the stage. He looked over at a few other participants who were also walking onto it.  Gloves then wandered over to the red tarp covering what appeared to be a statue resting on a podium. There were a few security guards standing near the objects to make sure they weren’t stolen. 

Gloves then looked around, seeing the guards didn’t seem to pay much attention to him. 

“I’m sure taking a small peek wouldn’t hurt—” Gloves reached over the safety tape around the podium and carefully lifted up a corner of the red tarp. 

Lifting the corner revealed a shimmering gold tail of a fish. 

“The Rainmaker?” Gloves whispered, “Isn’t it—”

“Hey. No touching the merchandise,” an inkling suddenly snapped Gloves out of his thoughts.

Gloves perked up, dropping the red tarp. There was a cyan inkling standing in front of him. He had a short haircut that was slightly red at the tips of it. He wore black and golden coat with a red X embroidered on the chest. His left arm was bandaged, stained with yellow ink. 

“Ah— Sorry, I was just curious about what it was,” Gloves laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. Gloves tilted his head, looking at the inkling again. He then asked, “Hey, you look familiar… Haven’t I seen you before?” 

“I dunno, I’ve never seen you before,” the latter responded with a scoff, then gestured over at the red tarp next to them, “My crew and I brought this for the auction all the way from the Splatlands, we figured we could make some good money off of it.”

“Oh… I see,” Gloves replied, then laughed, “I probably got you mixed up with someone else then…”

Gloves stood there for a split second before turning to leave. Once he had turned away, Gloves pulled out the manual from his pocket and flipped through its pages.

The X-Blood Pirates

Ink Color: Bright Cyan with red at the ends.

He flipped to the picture that was stuck between the pages. As he walked off the stage, Gloves pulled out the photo and looked at it.

“Captain? What’s up?” 

“We gotta find Clips and Straps, ASAP,” Gloves said, looking over his shoulder, “I think— I think the Rainmaker’s a part of the auction.”

“Wh- Huh?” 

Gloves looked back over at the stage to see 3 other inklings with the same cyan and red color. He pulled out the photo from the manual, showing it to Half Rim.

“Look at those inklings going up onto the stage,” Gloves said with excitement in his voice, “They look just like the X-Blood pirates. I—I don’t know why they would sell the Rainmaker off, but I have a strong feeling it's them.”

Half Rim took the photo and looked at it. “Interesting…”

“Let’s get Clips and Straps over here and figure something out!” Gloves said with a smile, “We have our chance, let’s take it!” 

“And challenge the X-Bloods?”

“Don’t worry, we’re going to be just fine. It shouldn't be too bad,” Gloves reassured, “I’ll work out the details once Clips and Straps get over here.”

Half Rim hesitated for a split second, then sighed, “We’re all going to die. But alright, I’ll meet you back here in thirty minutes. Clips and Straps could be anywhere.” 

The two exchanged a nod and hurried off.

====== [ ⚓ ] ======

A few moments later, Gloves hurried back to the stage with Clips. All of the items appeared to have been taken backstage. The stage was now empty and the stands were filled with inklings and octolings. The two walked to the side of the stage. Gloves tilted his head to the side, where he could partially see the backstage area. 

The cyan inklings from before were sitting backstage near the golden statue.

“There it is,” Gloves said, the two stepped off to the side further away from the crowd. 

“So, Captain, what’s the plan?” Clips asked.

“Well, I have two ideas in mind—” Gloves began, “I could go in and distract them while you and Straps grab the Rainmaker. We’ll have to head for the backstreets so we don’t draw too much attention to ourselves.”

“Wait, what about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you guys,” Gloves replied with a wink, “Another option I have is having Half Rim splat them from a distance with the splatterscope, then we grab the Rainmaker together and run to the ship. Like I said, there’s a back alley we could take.”

“Ah— Right,” Clips replied, “That might work, let's give it a try!”

==================

Thank you for reading!! :D Have a great day/night

[gas-stxtion-a]

◈   TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

favourite colour(s): i like blue and green the most! leaning a lot more towards blue lately, especially a nice cyan or turquoise.

favourite flavour(s): i have a pretty big sweet tooth, but more than that i love some good sour shit. a sour tooth, one might say,

favourite genre(s): i love love LOVE horror! give me that good good spooky shit. even better when there's drama and comedy thrown in.

favourite music: whatever makes my brain go brrrrrr the fastest

favourite movie: the first conjuring movie from 2013! it's a huge comfort movie for me and i've seen it so many times it doesn't scare me in the slightest anymore. it does, however, make me laugh. (ask me about my favorite line delivery in that movie if you want an unhinged rant about brad being the best character.)

favourite series: i suppose the unsleeping city? or tales from the gas station b/c. yeah, but that's not a tv series. another one that's definitely up there is one punch man, and if you've known me long enough to remember my opm blog uhhh i'll go back to it someday maybe. a lot of my favorite series aren't shows so asdfjkl;

last song: "devil's train" by the lab rats!

last series: i guess the series i caught up on most recently was gamechanger?? that's a gameshow, though, and not a story-based show. maybe diminished. idk, i don't actually watch a lot of shows per se.

last movie: the first conjuring movie, once again. i remember watching it last thursday and going "BRAD MY BELOVED" an unreasonable amount of times. no copaganda type show is more effective to me than officer brad hamilton in this movie. (for legal reasons this is a joke)

currently reading: still making my way through tftgs volume 3 at a goddamn snail's pace, but i found out another online horror series i like is getting a book adaptation soon, so THAT'S something i'm excited to read.

currently watching: i've been working on rewatching the unsleeping city season 1, but it's a bit slowgoing haha! i keep putting it on in the background while i work and then getting distracted.

currently working on: i actually got a huge burst of motivation the other day for one of my original writing projects so that's *mainly* what i've been working on these past few days. i finally have a proper outline and designs for the characters!! love my fucked up post-apocalyptic road trip gang <3

tagged by @modestmuses

tagging (with no pressure to any of y'all <3): @smokes-and-bullets @fathertofatality @rejectshumanity aaaaaaaand anyone else who'd like to give this a shot!

[redorich]

Eventually the Hermits get their hands on the one shulker box. They give it back a day later, filled with goodies as an apology for stealing, because they just needed it briefly so Doc could set up a shulker box duplicator.

(2/2) To expand on the shulker box ask I sent: It's cheating. They know it's cheating. They debate for a while over wether or not they should build it. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and dammit they need shulkers. Mules and Llamas can only get them so far.

---

(this takes place before the fic where puffy finds zedaph.)

---

The Hermits put up with mule highways and caravans of spitting llamas because they think they have no choice. At least one person complains about the lack of sophisticated storage transportation daily. Mumbo tries to create a system which will ferry items between bases, but it turns out to be more of a Rube Goldberg machine than anything, considering the items only travel at the speed of the water which carries them. Zedaph creates an actual Rube Goldberg machine for item transportation, but the only people who use it are himself and his neighbors, Impulse, False, and Tango. It’s more for prank transportation and snail mail anyway.

Things change when Stress, on a covert surface run, comes a bit too close to other humans on accident and catches sight of a blond man in a hoodie furtively checking his surroundings. Stress immediately does as she’s been trained, hiding herself behind tree cover and checking how long her invisibility potion will be in effect for. It says four minutes. As long as he leaves soon, she won’t have an issue.

The man surveys the muddy clearing with a keen eye, keeping watch for any evildoing interlopers. He places down an Ender chest, reaches his hands into it, then looks around once again to make sure no one’s there. Stress’s heart beats like a drum-- not the style of drums she usually plays, but rather the percussion of one of Xisuma’s favorite black metal bands. As the man’s gaze passes right over her, she feels the machine gun fire of her heart against her chest peak, breath catching in her throat.

He doesn’t see her. Quickly, he pulls something out of the Ender chest. A shulker box!

Stress’s breath stops for an entirely different reason. The things the Hermits could do with even one shulker box..! Item dupers are a thing, right? If anyone knows how to make an item duplication machine, it would be Doc. And a shulker box might be useful for an item duping machine! 

She’s getting ahead of herself. Should she steal from this person? Can she steal from this person? Even disregarding the moral dilemma, the members of the Dream SMP are fighters through and through. She’s got the advantage of surprise because she’s invisible and this man doesn’t know she’s here, but how long will that last? Even if she manages to take it, what if the blond man (Punz, she thinks is his name) kills her and takes the shulker box back from her?

As Stress weighs the risks and the rewards, she knows she’s running out of time. Punz breaks the shulker box. Right as he’s about to put it back in his Ender chest, Stress, who can see the window of opportunity closing, springs into panicked action.

She sprints right past Punz, hoping with every fiber of her being that her invisibility potion will be enough to save her. Snatching the box right out of Punz’s hands, Stress takes off running. Punz shouts, swinging his sword wildly at the air. He’s so close that a few strands of hair, just barely the tips, get sheared off of Stress’s fluffy mane and become visible as they flutter to the ground.

Punz’s eyes narrow, tracking the potion particles that he can just barely see. Unfortunately for him, the invisible thief takes off into the mob-infested forest. He gives chase, but the thief gains on him every time he has to stop to fight a mob.

Stress knows she can’t outrun Punz. She’s not bad, but he’s really good. Stress absolutely cannot lead this man back to the canyon. Allowing the hostile mobs of the forest to buy her time by slowing Punz down, Stress looks around rapidly, searching for something, anything she can do to lose the hunter on her trail.

A lone cow catches her eye. Thinking fast, she bites her lip as she dumps her only water bucket out into a nearby pond where it won’t be noticed, then milks the cow. In the distance, a zombie groans as Punz takes it out. Stress hyperventilates, frantically digging at the ground beneath her feet with a silk touch shovel. Once she’s created a hole just barely big enough for her to hide in, she hops in and puts the grassy dirt she dug up just seconds ago above her head and immediately downs the milk, so that there won’t be any potion particles to track her by.

Slowly, carefully, and as quiet as she possibly can, she digs up the dirt beneath her feet in absolute darkness. Logically, Stress knows that Punz won’t be able to see the light from her torch, but she’s too terrified to think logically. What has she done?!

Her shovel stills as angry feet stomp above her. Dirt crumbles into her hair when Punz walks directly above her. Caustic mutters faintly reach her ears through the loamy earth, fading farther and farther away as Punz searches in vain for the invisible thief. Stress waits with bated breath for minutes on end, hands shaking like leaves in a hurricane. 

Tentatively, she digs up the diorite block below her with a pickaxe. A mob shifts aboveground and Stress, paralyzed with the paranoia that it might be Punz, spends another five minutes in immobile silence. Burying her face in her hands, she sucks in a breath and continues digging. Once she hits a decently low y-level, she digs forward, taking care to place all her blocks behind her exactly as they were before she mined them.

After a solid three hundred blocks, she begins to staircase back up. On one unfortunate swing of her pick, water floods into her staircase. She must be under a lake or a sea. She can make out some kelp, though, so hopefully that’ll be enough cover for her to go up and check her surroundings.

Stress takes a deep breath and plunges into the cold water. Swimming up, she catches sight of wood-- no way. There is no way she’s made it to the docks just outside of the canyon. Eagerly, she swims back down into her staircase for a breath of air and the chance to down an invisibility potion, then back up to the surface.

On the entire journey from the bottom of the sea to the elevator on the other side of the canyon, she expects someone to catch her, to notice the water she’s dripping on the ground, to somehow sense the guilt emanating off her in waves. It doesn’t happen. Stress makes it to the elevator and pushes the down button eagerly. Every foot the elevator descends down is another thousand pounds of weight off her shoulders. She’s exhausted, and so close to home base. If she can just make it into the Atrium, she’ll have succeeded.

The elevator dings, rousing Stress from her daydreaming. “I really am dead on my feet, ain’t I?” she murmurs to herself.

She makes her way into one of the village houses, avoiding the pressure plates and tripwires which she knows like the back of her hand by now. In the house, she presses a button, which opens a door which leads to a tunnel. Sagging in relief, Stress practically melts across the floor as she traverses the short tunnel and finally makes it into Atrium 1-- a large circular room with a rounded ceiling and plenty of light.

“Woah, Stress!” Ren exclaims, running to support her. The dark circles under his eyes make him look as exhausted as she feels. He’s been working round the clock at the tree farm to churn out enough wood to meet the demands of twenty-four Hermits.

“Stress?” Ren asks with concern in his eyes, gently shaking Stress’s shoulders.

She laughs, high-pitched and wild. She’s done it. She’s really gone and done it!

“I got a shulker box,” she breathes.

Ren gasps. “What?! No way, they’re not even a thing on this server!”

“Yes they are,” Stress sing-songs, “because I have one.”

She tosses him the cyan shulker box with a look of pride on her face. Ren looks at the box in his hands, then back up at Stress with wide eyes.

“We gotta go show Xisuma, my dude.”

---

The Hermits convene in the small meeting room in the residential district, then realize that the room is in fact small and twenty-four Hermits aren’t going to fit in it. Xisuma’s having a good day, so he decides to hold the meeting in Atrium 1.

There are many different opinions on the acquisition of the shulker box, which sits innocently in the center of the room. Some people like Wels believe that even if it’s a great boon, it was stolen and therefore the Hermits don’t have the right to use it. Things were different when they first arrived in the canyon; they stole small things in order to survive. A shulker is nice to have, but the Hermits won’t die without it. On the other hand, there are people who side with Grian, who believes that since the Hermits already have the shulker box, they might as well use it.

Doc rumbles a deep hm, indicating that he’s debating with himself whether he should say something or not. Finally, it seems that the side of him which wants to tell his fellow Hermits wins out.

“Have you guys considered shulker box duping?” he says. Immediately, there is a clamor of outcries, both for and against, as well as just plain disbelieving.

Tango speaks up: absolutely not. It’s cheating. False tentatively rebuts, though, that sometimes cheating is acceptable when it's for a good cause. After all, part of her season 7 base was dug out using TNT dupers. Mumbo awkwardly raises his hand and waits for someone to acknowledge him, which Grian does.

“Er… what if we give it back after we’re done with it?” Mumbo says. Tango still looks unhappy, but the idea seems to appease Wels.

“Friends,” Xisuma says softly. Everyone quiets down immediately. “Should we have a civil vote, or shall I decide?”

Immediately, everyone gets shamed into behaving. “We can vote,” Bdubs says. “Everyone in favor of not cheating?”

“Wait, what are our options?” Grian asks.

“Er,” Scar speaks up. “Keeping the box but not duping it, giving the box back, duping it then giving it back, or duping it and not giving the original back. Is that right?”

Bdubs nods. “Yeah! So, all in favor of keeping the one original box?” A few hands go up, maybe five or six.

“Giving the box back?” More hands go up.

“Duplicating the box, then giving it back?” Nearly a dozen hands go up.

“Well then,” Bdubs says, “I guess I don’t have to finish the options; dupe-and-return wins.”

Doc strides into the center of the room and mines up the shulker box before anyone can change their mind; Tango grumbles good-naturedly at having lost the vote. Meanwhile, while everyone discusses the vote, Joe ferries Xisuma off to his quarters.

“So who’s going to give the shulker box back when we’re done with it, my dudes?” Ren asks the room at large.

“I will,” Stress says immediately. “I stole it; it’s only right that I give it back.”

---

Two days later, Punz wakes up to a noise in his house. He reaches for a knife under his pillow; just because there is no one to be seen doesn’t mean that no one’s there, as Punz is well aware given the theft of his shulker box, which he is still smarting over.

He gets out of bed, treading softly. Right there, in the doorway, is the same shulker box he lost! He looks around. This has to be a trap. No one is around… Punz might as well spring this trap.

He opens the box. Nothing is missing. In fact, there are more items inside than there were when it was stolen from him! A totem of undying, four diamond blocks, two ingots of netherite, and a note which reads, Sorry I stole your box! I only needed to borrow it, but I felt bad so I left some extra goodies in. xoxo

“...Huh?” Punz says to himself. This is the weirdest prank ever.

He puts the box back into his Ender chest and resolves to think about it in the morning.