#As he kind of forms to whatever Nintendo needs him to be in the moment

[hibiscesque]

// A short ficlet with some thoughts abt SKK & dreams (or lack thereof); CW for hand-wavey trauma mentions.

After the tenth time Dazai revs up the volume to blast Crazy Frog on his headphones after Chuuya had—way more patiently than he should have, by the way—requested that he turn it the fuck down, Chuuya is done.

They say it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, an adage that leaves him genuinely contemplating the merits of breaking Dazai's bones in alphabetical order now and apologizing to Mori-san for murdering his executive in cold blood later for a few moments. Luckily for Dazai, Chuuya is both an incredibly magnanimous partner and a little bit terrified of Mori-san when he's angry, so he settles for storming over to the other bed, ripping the headphones from Dazai's ears, and summarily snapping the cord over his knee.

Dazai, for his part, seems enragingly nonplussed by the turn of events.

"You're paying for that," he chirps, tossing the cord over into the trash and pulling out his handheld to start again on that dumb 1v1 he was playing through the entire meeting with their contact earlier today.

"God," Chuuya rages as the telltale automated beeping and imitation punching noises begin echoing through the room, "don't you ever sleep?"

"Nope!" Dazai informs him cheerfully, popping the P.

Chuuya breathes in. He breathes out. He tries not to burst every blood vessel in his brain out of sheer doneness with the disruptive, obnoxious, and downright diabolical creature who he has the misfortune to call a partner.

"We've been on this job for three days now," Chuuya points out, trying so hard to keep his voice even. "And you haven't so much as closed your eyes for more than ten seconds at a goddamn time."

Dazai raises an eyebrow at him as if he's just asked him to discuss the relative merits of licking up Vaseline like it's frosting.

"Yes," he says, like his actions over the last few days are perfectly reasonable and Chuuya is the crazy one. "Do you have a point?"

"You need sleep!" Chuuya snaps. "I'm not your freaking mother, I shouldn't have to tell you this!"

The other eyebrow artfully ascends to meet the first. "And you, former king of a gang of orphans and runaways from the slums, are telling me this because you're some kind of expert in what mothers tell their children."

Chuuya splutters, red hot piping rage squishing his heart like silly putty and shooting nitrified sriracha up his veins. "For the last time, I wasn't their ki—oh, FUCK you!"

"Sorry, not interested," Dazai trills, clearly only half paying attention to the conversation at this point as he mashes his fingers into his controller buttons.

"You know that wasn't what I—you know what? Nevermind. I don't even know why I try with you." Chuuya huffs and throws himself back against the bed, mashing a pillow into his face and letting out a groan so heavy-hitting it's almost a scream.

"I'm a saint," he muses, though the only response Dazai gives to that is the continual fighting noises from his game. "I'm a motherfucking saint."

He lets his breaths come in and out in a meditative pattern for a few minutes, trying to ease his nerves and burning rage for despicable mackerels enough to drift back into another couple of hours of uneasy sleep before rendezvous tomorrow. Infuriating beeping aside, he's almost managed it when a series of expletives hits the air in artful semantic form.

"Dammit!"

Chuuya turns just on time to see Dazai chuck his gaming machine to the side and groan a groan of the weary wicked.

"I'm going to regret asking this, but what?" Chuuya prods.

"My Nintendo died," Dazai mourns, starfishing across his bed—being the gangly sonuvabitch he is, all four of his limbs stick off the bed like candles out the sides of a cake.

"Good," Chuuya grumbles. "Now maybe you'll finally go to sleep."

He starts to roll over to try and catch whatever ZZZs are still possible at this point, but an even louder ruckus than before makes itself known on Dazai's side of the room and Chuuya hears his socked feet begin to pad toward the door.

"What is it now?" Chuuya demands.

"I'm going for a walk."

Chuuya thinks it is quite magnanimous of him not to scream like a banshee and tackle Dazai American football-style upon the registration of those words.

"It's three in the morning," Chuuya points out incredulously.

Kouyou had told him once that the most important part of keeping control of an argument is to make sure you remain calm. To make her point, she'd showed him some not-so-friendly repartee between two billionaire tech moguls—Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs. As Jobs grew angrier and angrier through the course of their conversation, Gates remained calm, level, composed. By the end Jobs was all but screaming, sweating buckets and face ripe as a tomato, while Gates looked just about like he was out on a casual stroll smelling the roses.

"Who do you think won that argument?" she'd asked.

Chuuya had gotten the point.

He tries to remind himself of Kouyou's words now. Calm on top, he repeats to himself. Calm on top, calm on goddamn top.

"Just going to stretch my legs," Dazai titters a little too casually.

Fuck it.

"What the hell is up with you?" Chuuya demands, fists clenched as he shoots up in bed to bear his teeth at Dazai. "Why are you so fricking averse to sleeping, of all things? I know you think you're further along the evolutionary chain than the rest of us, but you still need to rest, you dolt!"

When he catches Dazai's gaze he is not expecting what he sees at all. Dazai has gone so stricken he's all but ossified, staring at Chuuya with an indescribable war in his burning dark eyes.

There is silence, for several moments, so loaded that Chuuya almost regrets his words. But then...

"What do you dream about?" Dazai blurts out.

Chuuya is so struck dumb by his question that his fists uncurl and his mouth drops open, a little.

"What?"

"Nevermind." Dazai huffs. "I'm gonna go on that walk." He begins to turn toward the door, but as Chuuya comes to himself a bit, he realizes he can't let that happen.

He's not—he's not stupid, you know, no matter what Dazai says. He knows why Dazai wants to know.

Very few people know— knew, in the Flags' cases—about Chuuya's little dream secret. And Dazai is, quintessentially, exactly the kind of person Chuuya would never want to let it slip to on both a personal and theoretical level. But whatever haunts Dazai at night is apparently horrid enough that he's pulled three all-nighters to avoid it, and that... doesn't sit right with Chuuya. If a moment of vulnerability, though Dazai's surely going to use it against him later, would be valuable to him in some way, make him feel better—or whatever the equivalent of feeling better is for a miserable creature like Dazai—Chuuya would be an asshole not to give it to him.

"I don't dream," Chuuya blurts out. 

When he's met only with silence, his lungs grow desperately uncomfortable in his chest, almost like his ribcage has grown a size too small. A little heady on the feeling, thirsty to stop it, he continues to run his mouth.

"I think it's… a side effect of whatever they did to me in the lab. I can't remember having a single dream, ever, in what I can remember of my life. Not while I was with the Sheep, and not now with the Port Mafia either. Not even after the whole N stuff. I thought—" 

Chuuya chuckles, and it feels more like an ache than amusement.

"I thought maybe all that electricity would have knocked something loose, but it didn't."

He looks down. Laugh-wheeze-chokes. "I shoulda been the one with an ability called No Longer Human, I guess. What kind of person doesn't even dream? Heh. Those, those sixty seconds you gave me, with Guivre. My choice. It wasn't me being selfless. I just already knew the answer. So yeah. Now you know. Make fun of me or whatever. I can take it."

He scrunches his eyes shut, preparing for the worst, because honestly, despite what he said, he's not sure if he can actually take being called inhuman by someone who somehow, despite being the least human person Chuuya knows, is also the most human person Chuuya has ever known. It would feel like a death knell, or something. The fall of a guillotine blade. The first shovelful of dirt tossed onto a coffin.

He'd told himself, when Mori had told him that story about the lead, when he'd driven by his parents' house, after everything with Verlaine, that he didn't need that answer either way. Because whether he was human or not, the Chuuya he was before the lab was dead. Because he's learned that there's more to being human than having once been a zygote. There's no one that's better proof of that than the people he's met while he's in the mafia.

But hearing that he's nothing but whatever whatsit lines of code from whip smart, fierce, brave, angry, apathetic, cruel, kind, hungry, unsatiable, childish, thousand-year-old Dazai would kill him, he thinks.

"No," Dazai says, right when Chuuya is about to implode with anticipation, and though Chuuya doesn't quite understand what he's talking about, he's surprised by the intensity. The lack of caustic mockery in his voice.

"'No' what?"

"You're so stupid," Dazai informs him.

Chuuya's eyebrows scrunch. "That is… not the reaction I was expecting."

"Dreams aren't what make us human," Dazai informs him, bowling over his words as if he hasn't spoken at all. "Dreams are just your subconscious' license to make you process your life in the cruelest and most awful way possible. Chuuya probably doesn't dream because he's so straightforward that he scares rulers. I promise you you're not missing out on—on humanity because you don't."

Chuuya stares. And stares. And stares some more.

Dazai scoffs. "Doesn't think he's human. I promise you if someone was gonna make a human they'd make sure to make them smarter than you. Your clone probably had double the IQ points."

"Fuck off," Chuuya snaps immediately, but maybe his chest is a little warm. Perhaps.

Then, because maybe he's also a little bit sadomasochistic, "What do you dream about anyway, Dazai?"

That gets the bastard. Dazai goes absolutely still.

"Come on." Chuuya scoffs. "You're not telling me that you're not going to spill the deets after making me pour my heart out. And don't tell me some shit like 'I dream about my perfect suicide' or 'I dream about you slipping on a banana peel and snapping your neck like a cheap pencil', because I'll actually strangle you if you do."

"Kinky," Dazai says, but his heart clearly isn't in it. He lets out a scoff of his own, rolling not just his eyes but his whole head until his neck pops with a snap. "Fine. I'll 'spill the deets', as you say." He plants himself crisscross applesauce on the floor like the obnoxious leech he is.

"I dream about things from my past."

Chuuya waits for him to go on, but he is only met by the sound of first crickets and then the world's tiniest violin.

"I kinda figured that," Chuuya points out dully. "Care to share any more?"

Dazai scoffs again, wetting his lips with his tongue carefully as he challengingly meets Chuuya's eyes.

"If it so pleases his highness. There are lots of things, but mostly it's about thieves."

Chuuya raises an eyebrow. "Thieves?" he prods.

It seems whatever Dazai is about to say causes even his spite to not be enough to give him the wherewithal to continue looking at Chuuya. "Yes. People taking something from me that I don't want to give. There. The end. Can I go on my walk now?"

Oh. Oh.

There are attoseconds in the back of Chuuya's mind where he tries to convince himself that he's misinterpreting, reading too much into those words, but the part of him who's known Dazai long enough to know that he would never let an implication like that into his words if he didn't mean it, if only because he believed it would make him look weak, knows he's not.

Chuuya desperately steadies his face so Dazai doesn't see it cracking in the way it so badly wants to. 

He, he wants to be sick, he wants to punch a wall, he wants to—something. He doesn't know. He's always been an action, action, action guy, but for the first time since he can remember—since ever, maybe—he doesn't know.

Chuuya's met dozens of people with stories like that, in the Sheep and later, his dear late friend Lippmann, even, but Dazai was somehow the last person he'd ever expect to have something like that in their past.

"A fly just flew in your mouth," Dazai informs Chuuya.

Stopping himself from shrieking is a near miss. "Wha—whaaah?" He begins hacking and coughing, trying to spit it out. "EGH! Da'ai, Da'ai is ih gahe? 'I 'ou 'ee i' 'eae?"

It's only when he hears the first pitchy giggle that he realizes what's happened. 

"You asshole," Chuuya says in realization, so shocked it's almost reverent. He glowers. "You know, normally when people want people to stop gaping they say, 'Close your mouth; you'll catch flies.' They don't tell someone that there is a fly in their mouth!"

"Love you too," Dazai enthuses, causing Chuuya to devolve into another round of spluttering. By the time he's remembered what they were talking about moments ago, he's gotten enough distance from the immediate emotional overwhelm of Dazai's confession to remember that this is Dazai and pigs would fly before sympathy would be allowed on the table in their relationship.

"Yeah, whatever," Chuuya mutters, rolling his eyes. "Gonna regret asking this in about two minutes, but room for another person on your walk?"

Shocking Dazai twice in one night should entitle Chuuya to some kind of trophy, he thinks.

"You're not going to try and make me go to bed?"

"Hey, hey, don't get me wrong," Chuuya insists quickly. "Tomorrow you're not getting a fucking option. But I'm tired enough that I pity your dumb ass right now and I'm not gonna make you tonight. Look—" Chuuya hesitates, wondering exactly how to word this. "—I wouldn't want to sleep if that was what I was dreaming about either, OK? So this is your one-time get out of jail free card for basic human bodily functions."

When Dazai doesn't respond right away, Chuuya feels anxiety begin to stir up in his gut, wondering if he's said something wrong.

"You good, bastard?" he asks cautiously.

"Yep!" Dazai chirps cheerfully. "Just trying to figure out a way I can make you regret asking to come with me in less than two minutes. Chip, chip, cheerio, let's go, puppy-o!"

"Go die in a hole," Chuuya snaps, but maybe he's smiling a little.

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Getting all soft thinking about the rare occasions of Link actually speaking verbally out loud to Zelda.

At one point it did bug her, ate at her, felt that his silence was a way of him mocking her failure to her role while he seemingly had everything figured out and held everyone's praise - including her father's. However, that was way before Link had actually explained his reasoning to her, the weight of the world being on his shoulders and felt it upon himself to commit to a silent vigil not to disappoint the people of the kingdom that he knows is heavily relying on him. That alone changed how the princess viewed the knight.

Now, even moreso after the Calamity, she doesn't mind. Link has ways of communicating outside of verbal speech in ways of nods, points, and his own unique form of sign language she's very much well picked up on understanding! She even likes to think she's the most expert on said sign language, a badge she wears in prideful honor.

Link is a very good listener and it helps he very much enjoys hearing the princess talk, especially about her research, he can listen to her for hours on end about scientific things that he'll admit he's not the most knowledgeable about to where at some points Zelda could be rambling about something he has no clue what even is but he still enjoys listening to her either way because it's her and talking about these things makes her happy! So he'll just nod along and sign very simple questions that relights the princess' excitement even more as she'll go into further detail about whatever and Link is just left like: :)

On the rare occasions Link does actually speak he is very soft spoken, especially pre-Calamity. Honest to Hylia Zelda nearly fainted the first time she actually heard him. One of these instances I like to think was definitely after the spring of Courage, granted it wasn't the first time I think Zelda has heard him but I feel like it was one that was definitely most impactful.

Just Link helping her out of the spring and they sit at the foot of the water for a bit, Zelda probably crying and still cursing at herself saying so much damming things about herself like she's a failure, a burden, and ect and then just out of nowhere:

"You're not a failure." Or something along those lines, just something to try to get through to her that she isn't all those cruel things her father or some gossipers said her out to be. She is so much more than that and he knows it, and he needs her to know it too.

So it's obvious given the fact Tulin seems at least a few years older than he was in breath of the wild and Riju as well seems definitely taller than she was previously shown as well that at least two or so years minimum have passed since that game, so everyone is going to go through some kind of change before the game starts and Zelda's new haircut seems to be one of them. I think it's very unlikely we'll actually see the actual hair getting cut in game and it'll realistically just be left as an unspoken thing but that just leaves room for speculation and headcanon!

That being said... Link vocally telling her point blank after maybe just one day out of the blue coming home from Kakariko Village visit (they lived together in the Hateno house, Nintendo can pry that from my cold dead hands) the moment she walks through the door, now with her hair now considerably shorter;

"You look breathtaking." Then he goes right back to whatever he was doing inside the home before she arrived leaving Zelda speechless at the doorway just: 🧍🏼‍♀️

Zelda's a bit awkward, she doesn't know how to address it but it makes her feel... giddy. Maybe she didn't know how she felt about the haircut at first when Impa presented her the mirror to check it how it turned out, at first it was a complex motion - a symbolic action that she was finally ready to leave the past behind and work towards a brighter future, but even still she had this swirling in her gut on the ride home. But now? She adores it, she's reassured of her choice. She is ready. And she's glad to have her beloved knight at her side to live out that future.

No matter what future hardships that are to come.

Coming out of writing retirement just to ease my zelink brainrot. Hope you guys are proud 🥲

[s-creations]

26 Ways to Feel Mortal - C: Certainty

26 Chapters based around experiences that newly arrived Geno experiences while trying to find the Star Pieces.

Fandom: Super Mario & Releated Fandoms, Super Mario RPG Rating: Teen and UP Audiences Relationship: Mario/Geno (Nintendo), Mario/Princess Peach (Nintendo) Additional Tags: Rating for Teen needed for later chapters, but shouldn't be to worrisome, I'll have warnings if I'm worried, Poly relations!, Main characters will always be named, Minor characters will arrive as needed, the chapters are not in a specific order, just meets the needs of the given word, please be aware of spoilers.

Certainty: (noun) Firm conviction that something is the case. A person or thing that may be relied on. 

“Why would you do that!”

“Geno-”

“You had no right!”

“Just listen-”

“How could you just hand the Star Piece over like that?”

.

.

.

Seaside Town was throwing a large celebration. Not only for their freedom and Yaridovich and his men being chased off. But for also the team being able to collect another Star Piece. The townsfolk create a large bonfire in the town’s square. Creating every dish they could to set up a large buffet-style for all to eat from when needed. All laughing and cheering while they ate and danced with full abandonment. 

Bowser had staked his claim by the buffet. No one seemed fearful with how close the Koopa king was, more than happy to fulfill his favorite dishes. Mario and Mallow happily danced with a few of the children, who were just rushing around the two heroes. Peach spoke with the Mayor to see if the Mushroom Kingdom could offer some form of help to rebuild.

All were enjoying themselves.

All taking in the warmth and companionship.

All…but one puppet.

Just outside the circle of warmth, sitting alone on a fallen tree, Geno sat with his back to the celebration. Eyes focused on the cerulean Star Piece resting calmly in his hands. 

He really should let it go.

The cries of joy and happiness he heard were nothing more than an uncomfortable buzz.

A nagging reminder of how separated he felt at that moment. 

.

.

.

“You need to trust me-”

“Trust? You? After what you just did!”

.

.

.

His inside felt so cold. A horrible sensation weighing heavily, somehow resting simultaneously in his chest and stomach. It felt as if someone was squeezing his throat. Each time he swallowed in an attempt to alleviate the feeling it seemed to make it worse. 

He’d meant well…hadn’t he? 

That’s why he held that defense all those hours ago. 

He had…

He just couldn’t understand…

.

.

.

“Geno, enough of this.”

“Oi, calm down Twinkle Toes.”

“Shut up! Why did none of you stop him? You just…You just let this happen!”

.

.

.

He’d never felt like this before. It was a different kind of pain. One that wasn’t being healed by Mushrooms (goodness knows he tried). 

He felt exhausted, but not tired.

He felt angry, but not like before.

He felt…disgusting…

.

.

.

“Geno… Y-You’re scaring me…”

.

.

.

“Geno?”

Jerking away from the hand on his shoulder, Geno quickly turned to find Peach. The princess looked back in concern.

“Oh, P-Peach,” Geno shifted to quickly collect himself, “What are you doing over here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” was the simple reply as Peach sat next to the puppet.

“...I’m not feeling well enough to…to party.”

“Were you hurt from the battle?” 

“I’ve already tried Mushroom. I’m still affected by whatever this is…”

.

.

.

“Why would you hide this from me!”

.

.

.

“I was going to replace them,” Geno said quickly. Peach jumped away slightly from the sudden change in the puppet’s demeanor. Going from solemn to frantic in a second. “I mean, I was going to tell you…and replace them. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I just…I was going to tell you…”

“You’re okay, you don’t have to explain.” Peach said calmly.

.

.

.

“Of course I trust Mario. He always has a surprise in mind, even if I can’t see the ending that he does.”

“The shrimp always had an idea cooking. Don’t feel offended, he’s more of an action person instead of a talking kind of guy. Don’t I know it.”

“Mario’s been a hero for a while… I just…I just know he knew what he was doing…”

.

.

.

“Is there something I’m missing?” Geno asked, his voice very small.

“What do you mean?”

“Mario didn’t tell you, tell any of you, what he was thinking. Yet, when he handed over the Star Piece, you just trusted him. Like you knew it was all going to be fine. How…How did you know?”

Peach smiled softly and placed a hand gently back onto Geno’s shoulder. “It is a form of trust that we have, but we’ve built it for years. It’s understandable as to why you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

“But Mallow trusts Mario, and he’s known the other for only a few more days more than I have. So…So why can’t I trust like that?

“Because you’ve never had to experience something like this before.”

“I’m so confused… I thought I had trust in Mario, and I do, I think? You make this all look so easy and everyday feels like I’m learning so much yet too much and I just have to deal with it because what else am I supposed to do!”

Geno jerked weakly when something wet splattered against his leg. Looking down as golden liquid slid off and hit the ground. Before he could wrap his head around what was happening, more the same golden liquid appeared. Reaching a hand up, Geno gently touched his cheek. The same liquid appeared on his shaky fingers.

“W-What is this? What’s happening?”

The question brought forth the realization that his ‘breathing’ felt strange, choking. Coming out in sporadic hiccups and short bursts. Geno felt like he was drowning without being in water.

Peach wrapped her arms around Geno. Pulling the puppet close so her breathing could be felt by the distressed being.

“You’re okay Geno, you’re okay. Can you feel my breathing? I need you to match my breathing.”

“I-I-I d-don’t-”

“Just breathe with me, okay? In and out… In and out… In…and out… Keep going, in…and out… You’re doing great…”

It took a few minutes for the overwhelming feeling to alleviate slightly. Geno felt further exhausted by the entire event. The hiccups were smaller now. But were replaced with small whines and heavy gasps that caused his entire form to shake.

“Shh…you’re okay. Just keep breathing…” Peach continued to be a steady force as Geno fell apart. 

He wasn’t sure how long they were like that. With the same golden liquid continually falling from his eyes, vision becoming blurry. The uneven breathing eventually slowing down to small sniffles and heavy breathes. The exhaustion seeming to weigh him down further. 

“Geno,” Peach whispered softly, “do Stars get… Have you felt angry before?”

“No…”

“Have you felt sadness?”

“Not like this…”

She smiled softly, “Emotions are heavy things to carry.”

“I-I didn’t mean what said,” the puppet whined softly, “I just…”

“I know, you’re okay. I think after a good night's sleep, you’ll feel better.”

Letting out one final, heavy sigh, Geno allowed himself to sink into sleep. Peach easily holding him and the Star Piece up. She barely looked up as Mario quietly joined her. Eyes on Geno’s sleeping form, filled with worry.

“How is he?” Mario whispered.

“I think someone was experiencing heavy emotions for the first time.” Peach replied softly.

“Suppose it was a little overwhelming today…”

“I think we’ll need to have a serious talk tomorrow about what happened today. All of it.”

Mario shrank slightly at that. “You know I would never just give something up like that.”

“Yes, I do. But that’s because I can trust whatever you’re planning, even if you don’t tell me.”

“I thought that…I thought I had his trust.”

“And you broke whatever you built up with that action.” 

Peach sighed softly as Mario shrank further back, “I’m not mad. But Geno… We need to communicate with him better. Everything is black and white for him, but today offered a gray area that he has no idea how to navigate. Be mindful of the fact that he’s not mortal, or at least not born mortal.”

“You’re right, I’ll…I’ll try.”

“We both will.”

[smh-yoon]

Cliche ✰ Tsukishima

a/n: ik i've been gone for a while but a lot of people really seemed to like my mori fic so i figured i do some more anime stuff and i am in love w tsuki so here you go <3

genre: romance, fluff

pairings: tsuki x fem! reader

warnings: none

• • • • • • •

tsukishima had been at his desk all day long, studying whatever he was studying for his classes. he had offered to tutor you, in fact the whole reason he had invited you over was because you had been complaining about your math test coming up.

another sigh left his mouth and he leaned back in his rolling chair, sending a side-ways glance where you were laying on his bed, whining at his nintendo switch. "why don't you play something else if you keep losing?" another whine left your mouth and you rolled over onto your back, throwing your arm over your forehead dramatically.

"it's just this stupid level!" tsukishima rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath. "you could have just started at whatever level you want. i beat the whole game already."

you let out a huff of air and pressed the button to replay as hard as you could. maybe you should've just stuck to playing animal crossing. tsukishima went back to his boring studying and you tried to busy yourself. of course you took him up on his offer, but you didn't think the two of you would actually be studying.

honestly, you were hoping he would at least entertain you, your comments. maybe even call you pretty. the whole outfit you had put together was in some kind of hope to get his attention, to get some kind of compliment from him. he never seemed to acknowledge you.

it had been a few months since the two of you had started officially dating, with you trying your hardest despite your nerves to work up the courage to ask him out with a slice of his favorite cake, and the only thing you could get from him was a nonchalant "okay". it was the way he was, the same way you had fallen for him in the first place. maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you that hoped he would be more affectionate after the two of you started dating.

granted, he did make an effort to text you every night, to invite you places even if it did include yamaguchi being there. maybe you were being selfish to think you needed more.

tsukishima went to glare at you again, when he noticed your still form and your eyes staring out the window in thought. the sound of your failure and the ringing of the replay choice continued to ding on the screen you had paid no mind to. "[y/n]," he stood up and made his way toward you, startling you from your reverie. "huh? oh, i died."

another eye roll and he bent down and plucked the gaming system from your hands. "get up." you narrowed your eyes at him, but stood and tucked your skirt back into place to fix it from laying on the bed.

"what? are you going to make me do homework, because i'm going to leave if you do." he let out a groan and began towards his door. "just shut up and let's go, okay?"

you tried to ignore the annoyance that grew in your chest and followed him out his bedroom door and down the stairs into the kitchen. he opened his fridge and pulled out a brown cardboard box, setting it on the counter and pulling out one plate and a fork. "tsuki?"

paying no mind to you, he got a knife from one of the drawers and opened the box. inside was a strawberry shortcake. almost rolling your eyes, you leaned on your palm, elbow leaning on the counter-top.

not a word left his mouth as he cut into the cake, setting the slice on the plate. of course he would only come down here for cake. again he said nothing, taking a bite. just as you were about to go back upstairs to get back to the nintendo switch, he scooped up another bite on the fork and pointed it towards you. the both of you were still for a few moments until he sighed in aggravation and moved it directly in front of your lips.

"eat." you were confused, but hesitantly leaned forward and took the fork into your mouth. when he pulled it away, you found yourself still confused. "why'd you do that?"

his eyes slid up to yours, still taking bites out of his cake. he quirked an eyebrow, swallowing and leaning his elbows on the counter in front of him. "i thought you liked this sappy cliche stuff." you furrowed your brows and opened your mouth to say something but he just put more cake in your mouth.

"your friend told me. said you liked being.. romanced." embarrassment filled every cell in your body and you groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

there can't be anything in this moment that could possibly make this moment worse. the smirk on his face, smugly eating his slice of cake. of course he would find out eventually, you just couldn't help feeling so embarrassed that he had found out something like this.

"this is so lame.."

"what? i figured we could go on a picnic tomorrow. you don't want to?" your heart swelled in your chest at the look on his face, and you found yourself unable to meet his eyes with the heat flushing your face. "well, yeah i do.. but-" you were cut off by the sound of the fridge opening, tsukishima going to put the box away.

"make a list of all this stuff you want us to do. i'll do it."

with that, he took your hand in his, looking at you through his glasses. "well, are we going back to my room or what?"

tsukishima may not have seemed like the boyfriend you were hoping to have, but he would soon prove to be everything you wanted and more. with all of his teasing of course.

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys when you come out to them as bisexual  🏳️‍🌈

characters: yamaguchi, tsukishima & kenma

part two!!

tw// fem!reader, fluff, coming out, 

Tadashi Yamaguchi

ok so hot-take but i think yamaguchi is straight

(or maybe bi but with a heavy preference for females)

but rn he identifies as straight 

but like..he’s so supportive of the lgbtq+ community

like tsukishima gives off ‘gay but homophobic’ energy

but yamaguchi has ‘straight but a strong ally’ energy

and this is hugely bc while tsukishima fell down the alt-right pipeline, yamaguchi was going through that ‘women 😍🤩💕’  phase which i think every WLW has went through at one point

like while tsukishima was watching ‘sjw get rekt compliation #125′ , yamaguchi was watching those heart-wrenching lgbtq+ short films on youtube 

and on tiktok his fyp was probably originally cottagecore (bc it’s his ideal lifestyle ofc) and somehow he is now kinda on sapphic cottagecore tiktok 

like not to fetishize them or anything, just bc he’s awed by how in love they are and that’s kinda what he wants for himself

(also he uses them as date inspo for you and him DFBZVAYUL)

anyway this was just my lengthened explanation as to why - unbeknownst to you or anyone - he was an ally to the lgbtq+ community (if not apart of it)

you didn’t really expect him to be disgusted or unsupportive of it tbh - i mean, it’s tadashi ffs! 💞 you know he’d never break up with you or judge you for something like that, but that didn’t stop you from being slightly nervous

but he was ten times more nervous when you texted him, asking for him to meet you by the local park’s fountain bc you had something important to tell him

mans thought you were dying ngl

he almost burst out crying on the walk to the park bc he imagined a whole scenario where he was sitting next to your fkn death-bed 

but you seemed healthy enough so his next assumption was that you were going to break-up with him

so when he approached you by the water fountain and you noticed that his eyes were glossy and his hair was damp with sweat, you were quite worried for him now

‘tadashi! are you okay?! your eyes are all puffy and red! do you have hay fever?’

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head, hastily escorting you to a nearby park bench so you could sit down beside him, ‘it’s nothing; what is it that you want to tell me?’

‘oh’ you choked, quickly averting your gaze from his kind, damp eyes. ‘it’s- um, i don’t-’ you cut yourself off, mentally cursing at yourself as you had practised what you were going to say to him hundreds of times before he arrived yet you still couldn’t stammer it out

yamaguchi was hanging on each word you uttered, but once he noticed that you were struggling, he placed his hands upon yours and shot you a reassuring smile

you let out a sigh in hopes to relieve your nerves while rehearsing what you were gonna say one more time in your head before blurting it out,

‘babe, erm, i’ve been questioning for a while and i’ve concluded that i’m bi - as in bisexual; and i just thought i’d tell you bec--’

you genuinely thought that you might have to explain to yamaguchi what bisexual means so IMAGINE your surprise when he simply replies, ‘you’re bisexual? is that all you wanted to tell me?’ and once you hum in agreement, he lets out a heave of euphoric relief

‘(y/n), please don’t make fun of me but on the way here, i was almost gonna cry because i thought you were going to tell me something horrible.’ he clutched his chest, breathing heavily - usually he’d never admit to something like that but right now, he felt that it was appropriate

you snickered at his rather exaggerated actions, ‘awh, baby. i’m sorry.’ a pout formed on your lips as you soothingly rubbed his back.

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head before turning the tables and rubbing your back instead, ‘nonono, it’s fine! i’m fine!- and i’m glad you’re fine too.’ he stumbled, hastily placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, ‘i’m so proud of you. congratulations!’

although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell from his light voice that he was beaming 

after that, he buried his nose into the crook of you neck and snaked his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug, which you both stayed in for a good 5 minutes

Kei Tsukishima

let’s be honest, tsukki’s definitely part of the lgbtq+ community but in deep denial

like if you ask him, he’s not even questioning his gender or sexuality, he’s just ✨straight ✨

so when you just randomly joked one day ‘oi, four-eyes, turn this shit off. she’s too much for my lil’ bi heart to handle.’ while y’all were watching a movie and you instinctively made an off-hand comment about how gorgeous the female lead was 

upon realising what you just said, you turned to him with the most awkward grin plastered on your face, ‘tsukki, i’m bisexual, by the way.’

‘no shit, sherlock.’ he hissed at your use of that little nickname 

you turned your head to look at him as you blinked rapidly, finally  mentally processing his response 

while he did the exact same thing simultaneously, dramatically turning his head to meet your gaze before muttering, ‘was that you coming out?’

your eyes widened as you realised, then nodded slowly

tsukishima smirked, shifting his attention back onto the movie, ‘congrats.’ he spoke in a mellow voice, a slight sense of amiability laced into his tone 

‘thanks-’

‘have you told your parents yet?’ he quirked a brow, his eyes remaining glued to the screen

you hesitated before shaking your head, ‘no.’ 

‘what about your friends?’

‘yeah, i came out to my friend group a few months ago - along with yamaguchi.’

tsukishima couldn’t help but frown at the fact you came out to yamaguchi before him but honestly, he couldn’t blame you - he was aware that his bitchy exterior probably discouraged you from telling him sooner, so he was just glad that you had the confidence to tell him eventually  

‘so how long have you known that you’re, like, y’know, bi?’  he inquired further

‘a while.’ you hummed, biting your bottom lip, internally so relieved that he wasn’t being too awkward or weird about it

‘good for you.’ he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not a hint of sarcasm or irony detected in his voice for a change, ‘oh, and good luck with coming out to your parents’

‘thank you.’ you murmur, happily shifting your attention back onto the movie

 tsukishima honestly doesn’t mind/care tbh

like he’s supportive and will beat a bitch up if they don’t accept you - but in general, he thinks that it’s none of his business who you love

as long as it is him (�� _ ಥ) 

Kenma Kuzome

ok so fun story 

you were both chilling in his room on a saturday, he was playing on his nintendo switch as always and you were on your phone

you had been meaning to come out to him for a while now but every time you tried, it seemed as though something happened to prevent you from doing so 

for example, you tried to come out to him while y’all were chilling at the park but then a bunch of geese started terrorizing y’all and it completely ruined the mood

so you thought that now you were in his room - where there was less of an abundance of geese - it’d be a better time than any to just lift the burden that had been weighing on your chest

you were as nervous as any one would be but you kept on trying to reassure yourself that kenma would be supportive 

however, he had never discussed any lgbtq+ related issues with you so you had no idea where he stood with that sort of stuff but tbh, he doesn’t give off homophobic vibes 

after a while of staring at the wall and working up the courage, you finally spoke up, ‘hey, kenma. i think i might be bi.’

you mentally cursed at yourself as you didn’t ‘think’ that you are bi but rather you knew that you are bi, yet you felt the need to add that filler just in case things went sour

he perked up upon hearing this and turned to look at you, a small smile gracing his lips, ‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’ 

you couldn’t help but beam back at him, ‘thanks, babe.’ you almost whispered, gladly going back to whatever you were doing on your phone

honestly, you were happy to leave the interaction at that - i mean, his brief and calm response was satisfying beyond expected, as it was probably the least awkward way that could’ve possibly gone down

however, what happened next filled you with endless amounts of euphoria 

‘oh, and (y/n).’ kenma said to grab your attention, ‘i’m bisexual.’

you did a double-take 

your instincts told you to throw yourself into his arms and rave on about how proud you are that he had the courage to come out but after a moment of reflection, you had a better idea

‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’

kenma automatically pouted at how you used his own words against him when he was clearly expecting a hug, ‘(y/n)..’ he whined lowly, shifting his gaze back onto his game

but you were weak so ofc you pulled him into a hug as you both muttered sweet, reassuring things into each other’s ears

‘i love you so much, (y/n) no matter what.’

‘i know.’ you snickered.

‘bitch-’

‘i love you too. and i’m so proud of you for coming out - you’re so brave.’

‘aw, thanks. so are you, babe.’

‘i know’

kenma playfully nibbled at your neck for being such a clown during a sentimental moment

but anyway, you helped kenma come out so- yeah :))

[corpsedaydream]

puzzle

corpse husband x reader

hi! i haven’t posted any writing in a while, i haven’t felt v musey lately and i think bc my life has kind of just felt like it’s at a halt right now. but then i started this and incorporated corpse and this is what came out of it.

kinda a comfort read idk, hope u enjoy!

lmk what u think

word count: 1.2k

_______________________________

puzzle

You know those fleeting times in life when everything seems to be falling into place so perfectly? Like you and your life were once a jumbled puzzle made up of countless pieces that could never be put together but then the universe suddenly flips a switch and your puzzle starts to form together so tremendously. It has you feeling a new sense of joy, one that’s a little unfamiliar because for the longest time, this all seemed so far away. It can pick you up to such a high position. You swear to yourself that life can’t seem to get better and then it does.

What a wondrous thing to experience.

It was during this peak of happiness, you’d also met your current boyfriend, Corpse. He’d been a wish on a shooting star that had been granted true to you by whatever cosmic guardians were watching over you. Yet another piece of your puzzle that had connected so naturally.

However, this type of happiness can be dangerous because the higher up you find yourself, the harder and faster you can fall. And fall you did.

Just as it was feeling as if your puzzle had been almost completed, the universe dropped you and you fell into thousands of new pieces for a new puzzle that would be even harder to complete. And it seemed that anytime you were active in trying anything to make progress through this complicated time, you were halted. It was an exhausting loop you were caught in, like you were stuck in quicksand and it wasn’t quite strong enough to suck you all the way under, but it was strong enough to keep you from making an escape.

One thing stayed consistent for you through this, Corpse.

And each day you spent him, he’d notice the changes that mirrored how you were feeling and with how each knock back you encountered, it diminished your light even further. Your replies were shorter when you messaged him, you’d laugh a little less at something that would normally bring you to tears from laughing, he’d catch your eyes slowly glaze over as you stared at nothing for prolonged amounts of time, you weren’t really answering your friends calls and you were even forgetting to drink water.

The only thing you had really been doing lately was playing Animal Crossing, after months of not going on the game, you’d decided to go back and it was one of the only things you could control when your life seemed to be out of your hands.

So when Corpse came out of his streaming room he wasn’t surprised to hear the faint tune of the calming game playing from your switch. And although you held the console in your hands, he noticed your eyes were trained out the window.

“What’s on your mind, baby?” He let his presence be known, but you didn’t even flinch, you didn’t hear him at all, he gathered that you must have really been lost in your own thoughts.

So instead of speaking, he stepped closer until he could bend over and interrupt your staring by using his own face to cut off your vision by forcing you to look at him. A small smile that was tainted with his sadness for you graced his face as he watched you blink multiple times and join him back in present time.

“Hi.” You greeted him.

“Hey.”

“Your streams done already?”

“What do you mean already?”

“That was a quick one.”

“I was in there for almost five hours.” His tone was heavy with concern.

“Oh.” You frowned in confusion and he lost your vision as you looked down at the switch in your hands. It had become nighttime on your Animal Crossing Island and last time you checked it was still daylight in the game.

“What were you doing?”

“I was...” You trailed off and moved your little character around, you were still standing in an overgrown flower field. “I was going to fix up my flowers, but,” you shrugged a shoulder, “guess I can’t do that right, either.” You sighed and Corpse felt his heart ache, how badly he wanted you to be able to see yourself the way he did.

“(Y/N)-”

“Corpse, please, I love you and I so appreciate you being here for me, but I don’t need another pick me up. Just let me be sad right now.” You cut him off, looking back up at him and it was his turn to sigh as he held your eye contact. He was paused on what to respond to you with, truth being told, he was feeling so powerless in ways to help you. He wished he could say a magic word or snap his fingers and turn your mood around, bring back the sunshine in you that was normally so present.

“Okay.” He simply responded, he just hoped in due time, you’d come back to him. He knew you weren’t completely overboard, you were normally so optimistic and he hoped that prominent trait of yours was strong enough to keep you afloat through this confusing period in your life.

So for a moment, he just watched you divert your attention back to your Nintendo Switch and he watched as you turned the joystick to move your character around the flower field that had grown so out of hand. You weren’t even holding your shovel in the game and he noticed the distress displayed on your face, he couldn’t let one of your only comfort things right now also add to the list of things that were causing you grief right now.

“Give it to me.” Corpse sat down beside you and took the device from your grasp.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you.” Briefly, he’d turn his head and press a kiss on your forehead and you’d smile back at him and scoot in closer to his side, leaning your head on his shoulder and watching the screen as he went to work in sorting out the flowers on your island.

On the third time of him filling up your characters pockets with flowers, you’d speak up again. “Corpse,”

“Hold on, I’m gaming.”

“No, Corpse,” you’d laugh and tug on his arm a little. “Look at me.” And so he did, a smile matching your own because he was so happy to hear you laugh. “Thank you.” You told him, looking back and forth between his eyes. “For everything.”

And he’d momentarily remove one of his hands from the switch, instead bringing it up to cup your cheek. “You really don’t have to thank me.”

“But I want to.” You’d rebuttal and then he’d lean in to kiss you, your eyes fluttering shut as his mouth met yours. How much you loved him was made up of healing powers, how he knew exactly what you needed in this moment was his own magic. You might’ve been lost in life right now, with a new more intense puzzle that needed to be figured out, but Corpse was your skylight that could always be seen in the darkness. His perfect chaos stronger than all others. “I love you.” You’d tell him after the kiss ended, your nose still brushing against his.

“I love you, too.” He’d peck your lips one last time and then he’d say something that would make you laugh again, “now don’t interrupt me again, I’m a professional gamer, baby.”

[toxicpsychox]

The Legend of Zelda and Amphibia

I am not much of an intense analyzer (not a public one, at least) but just... bear with me for a moment.

I’m sure everyone has heard of the classic Nintendo franchise, The Legend of Zelda, but did you know that Matt Braly based some of Amphibia off the game? According to his reddit AMA, His favorite game in the franchise (and the one he primarily used to base Amphibia after) just happens to be Breath of the Wild, arguably one of the most complex Zelda games to date. 

For this analysis, let’s focus on some of the bigger aspects of the show and how they relate to the Zelda franchise. 

There will obviously be Breath of the Wild and Amphibia spoilers below, so don’t come for me lmao

The Master Sword and It’s Power

In any Zelda game, the Master Sword is the best item a player can get. Not only is the sword The Weapon Of Choice™, but it also happens to have different special abilities depending on what game you play. In Zelda: Twilight Princess, for example, the sword cures Link of his curse and grants him the ability to teleport to places he has previously explored. In Breath of the Wild, the master sword grants Link the power to defeat Calamity Ganon, and as the game Wikipedia states, “seal the darkness away” (we’ll talk about this later). Funny enough, the Master Sword also has a delightful blue glow, similar to that of Anne’s sword in the show. 

So where does that leave us with Amphibia theories? Well, if Anne’s sword is anything like the Master Sword, it could perhaps be a portion of the key to unlocking the Calamity Box. We also know that in The Prophecy of Amphibia, there are three weapons mentioned, not just one. All three weapons combined could come together to create something like the Master Sword. 

Hyrulian Guardians and Newtopian Robots

In Breath of the Wild, there are giant-ass guardians that roam Hyrule. When the people of Hyrule learned that Calamity Ganon would one day return, they set off to create guardians to protect the people of Hyrule. They also created specific guardians called Divine Beasts to protect certain sectors of Hyrule. For many years, the guardians lay dormant. When Calamity Ganon rose from his dark slumber, he used what little power he had to awaken and corrupt both the guardians and the Divine Beasts. 

Remember the whole “seal the darkness” away bit that the Zelda prophecy states? Yeah, the Amphibia prophecy also talks about sealing away darkness. “Three stars burning bright, come from beyond to expel the night”. My guess is that we’re going to see a robot-awakening, just like we did in Zelda. Once those robots awake, there will be darkness throughout the land, and the three girls will have to expel it.

My guess is that something very similar to the events in Hyrule are about to happen in Amphibia. Since we know that robots of some kind exist in Amphibia, and that some of them are laying dormant (like in the huts Sprig and Anne stumble upon in Fort in the Road). What’s to say that they won’t awake when the Calamity Box finally starts functioning again? Or when Andrias uses the Calamity Box for his plan?

(Funny enough, all of the robot-like huts in Amphibia look like the same exact robotic structures in Breath of the Wild.)

Gems/Triforce Parallels 

Everyone knows that in the Temple of Time (arguably one of the coolest and most complex temples in the Legend of Zelda franchise) changes from game to game. Let’s focus on the Temple of Time in Ocarina of Time for a second. 

In this Temple of Time, we see that in order to obtain the Master Sword, Link first has to go through a room with three gems of power. These three gems power the Triforce and allow Link to enter the next part of the temple, and ultimately grab the Master Sword. 

Now let’s relate this to Amphibia, shall we? In Amphibia, there are three gems of power, just like in Zelda. We also know that the three gems of power in Amphibia are separate colors, with separate powers. In Zelda, this is also the case. 

If my theories are correct, and Amphibia does have purposeful Zelda references, then the three Amphibia gems are going to act very similar to that of the Zelda gems. I think we can expect to see the gems all come together to form some sort of ultimate weapon to defeat Andrias. Either that, or they create a power great enough to destroy Andrias, no sword necessary. 

Andrias and His Pawns

To wrap this sucker up, let’s talk about Andrias for a hot minute. We all know Andrias is using the girls as pawns to get what he wants, but...why couldn’t Andrias just go through the temples on his own? If he already knows the box’s potential, and already knows about the temples and how to get through them, why couldn’t he just go through himself? It would sure make the process of becoming All Powerful™ a lot easier. 

We could chalk it up to laziness, sure. But I’m thinking there’s a greater reason for Andrias’ chess game.

We all know that Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are The™ three people listed in the prophecy; we know that they are the “stars shining bright to ward off the night” or whatever the prophecy says. We also happen to know that all three of the girls have some sort of power. Granted, none of them have realized that they have power, but it’s there.

We saw Anne’s eyes glow, as well as Marcy’s. Assuming that Sasha also has powers (and let’s be real, she absolutely does if the other two have them), we can assume that those powers are going to be used for something. 

The real reason Andrias can’t go through the temples on his own and get the power? Anne, Sasha, and Marcy hold the other half of the power to getting in and out of the temples. Just like any Zelda game, you need certain abilities and items to get through the temples and rooms. Without them, the game is unplayable. The temples become impossible to get through, and you would perish. 

Since Anne, Sasha, and Marcy hold the other half of the gem’s special abilities, only they can get through the temples. Not Andrias. And my guess is that when the girls step foot into the temples, their powers will be amplified. And they’ll finally fucking realize THAT THEIR EYES GLOW. 

Anyways. Matt Braly is a Zelda nerd and I am 78% certain that some of the stuff I listed will play out exactly like a Zelda game. I could be wrong tho, who knows. 

(Also, thanks to @pyroclastic727​ for helping me organize my thoughts and giving me the confidence booster to post this sucker lol)

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 8: Rinkah’s Burning Loins

My Castle

After fully dedicating ourselves to Hoshido, the game finally really begins. We’re given access to a customizable castle in the Astral Plane where our army waits between battles. We can talk to our units, giving them minor stat boosts or new weapons. Right off the bat, we have a farm and spring to give us resources, rooms for Corrin and Lilith, and a Hall of Records.

In Lilith’s spring, we can feed her to make her level up. Different foods affect her stats in different ways. Note that, although Lilith now has stats, she isn’t usable in battle. Other players can invade our Castle through spotpass, which I’ll discuss in a later entry, and Lilith is only usable in those battles.

Lilith

Lilith is a weird squirrel dragon thing that floats around clutching a random ball. She used to be our stable girl and is now our pet. I think she has a crush on Corrin. Her design is unique and cute, I like it. Gameplay wise, she can only use a modified Physic staff. I don’t dislike her personality, but she feels like a throwaway character added at the last minute. She raises a ton of questions that I doubt will ever be answered.

In the Hall of Records, we can see descriptions of all the units we’ll ever recruit, rewatch cutscenes, read unreadable poems, and play around with a relationship tester. The relationship tester is randomized, by the way, which kinda makes it pointless. That said, it told me that Corrin expects betrayal from Rinkah, while Rinkah’s loins are set afire by Corrin. This is now canon, I have decided.

In Corrin’s room, we can change their hairstyle and invite an ally over to chill. I chose Kaze. He complimented Corrin’s piano skills, which she apparently has, then stared at us, blushing, while thanking us for saving him from Garon.

So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. In the Japanese version you get to rub units while in close up mode. Like Pokemon Amie except...with people. This was removed in the English version. A lot of Fire Emblem fans were pissed, crying about censorship because Nintendo of America had the gall to remove the minigame where you rub Camila’s tiddies while she moans. And I’m going to say a hot take right now: they made the right call. That stuff was weird and indulgent. It was the living embodiment of the fanservice focussed design that plagues modern Fire Emblem games. Good riddance.

Inviting allies to Corrin’s cool sex treehouse boosts our support levels. I suppose it's time I mentioned that. In Fire Emblem games, units form bonds from fighting next to each other, unlocking short conversations that flesh them out as characters. Units also fight together better when they have high supports. Now, here’s the fun thing about supports:

There are more than 600 supports in this game. Not support conversations, support lines, each of which is made up of three or four conversations. And, because God has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished, I’m going to read all of them.

Admittedly, I’m not going to unlock all of them. S-Rank conversations result in marriages and each unit only gets one. It’d take a few dozen playthroughs to get all of Corrin’s S-Rank conversations and I don’t hate myself that much, so I’m reading the transcripts from the wiki. I think I’m going to do four supports per Entry; that’ll leave me with a few extra by the time we reach the end, but I’ll just do a support grab bag entry or something.

Before we do supports, let’s finish up improving the castle. I built a weapon shop and a statue of Corrin that boosts her max speed. We are limited on the number of buildings we can build, but that isn’t a big deal yet because the only other option was to build a stave shop.

Support: Corrin/Rinkah

C: Corrin attempts to discuss battle tactics with Rinkah, but Rinkah blows her off and tells her to stop trying to be friends. Rinkah does acknowledge that Corrin’s authority and that Corrin saved her life, but tells the princess leave her alone.

B: Corrin pesters Rinkah until she explains why she’s so aloof. Rinkah explains that, the Flame Tribe keeps a great flame burning in the center of the village to honor the God of Fire. In the past, outsiders have extinguished the fire. One such instance was followed by a volcanic eruption that decimated the tribe. As a rule, the people of the Flame Tribe are wary of outsiders. Rinkah also explains that she’s working for Hoshido because her father commanded her to, much to her chagrin.

A: Rinkah explains that she would have preferred to die an honorable warrior’s death than be captured and resents Corrin for sparing her. Corrin says that she’s glad Rinkah is still alive, because it means Rinkah and her can be friends. Corrin also says that, despite the chaos of war, she believes in fate and its ability to bring people together. Corrin encourages Rinkah to use this opportunity to learn more about the outside world and bring that knowledge home with her. Rinkah begrudgingly agrees.

This is how the conversation will end on my playthrough, but if Corrin has a penis, you can get an S-Rank proposal conversation. I’ll be listing all of these off along with the normal conversations.

S: Rinkah comes to Corrin, blushing, and tells him that he has been a constant reminder of her shame and regret over being captured. But, over time, these feelings were replaced with love. Love that she hated, because Corrin is an outsider. Corrin says that he’s loved Rinkah since the day they met and only told her to be friendly to other people as an excuse to spend time with her. Rinkah states that, from now on, she will remember her capture as the happiest day of her life and the two get married.

Review: I really like this support line. It expands Rinkah’s backstory and culture, ties it into Corrin’s own isolation and belief in fate, and deals with the tumultuous meeting they had in Chapter 2. The confession comes out of nowhere, admittedly, but I do like Rinkah grappling with her mixed feelings of hate and love. Solid support.

Support: Corrin/Jakob

C: Corrin comes to Jakob to ask for a favor. Jakob interrupts her by humorously listing off the things he would do for Corrin. Things like slay dragons for her, which is actually kinda offensive now that I think about it. Corrin begs Jakob to allow her to be independent and Jakob refuses. Corrin explains that she’s his boss and he tells her that servitude is his reason for living. Jakob explains that, when he started working for Corrin, he was incompetent, and her kindness towards him made him indebted to her. The two compromise on the agreement that Jakob will teach Corrin how to make tea. After Corrin leaves, Jakob mumbles to himself that things might get apocalyptic.

B: Corrin repeatedly tries and fails to make a decent cup of tea. Both of them get some funny lines in, with Corrin telling Jakob that she can’t hear him because she’s ignoring him and Jakob saying that, saying that they’ll run out of leaves before Corrin makes decent tea. They meaning the nation in this case. Corrin eventually makes a passable cup, after Jakob secretly adds in sugar.

A: Jakob admits to Corrin that he messed with her tea and she laughs it off, admitting that she knew all along. She apologizes for being stubborn and accepts that she still needs Jakob’s help sometimes. Jakob says that he falls apart without Corrin. Corrin says that the two of them are alike in that way and Jakob literally faints from joy.

S: Jakob is acting more distant than normal. When Corrin asks him about this, he admits that he’s fallen for her and resigns from his duties as butler, because it is improper for him to have feelings for his mistress. Corrin begs him to say because she needs him and admits that she loves him too. The two of them get embarrassed and Corrin fires Jakob, giving him the new job of husband.

Review: This was a hilarious support that really made me appreciate Jakob’s snarky yet loyal personality. He is the perfect butler. The conflict of Corrin wanting to be independent and Jakob wanting to take care of her is a good dynamic that made me appreciate the relationship between these two characters. I do like them more as a platonic couple than a romantic one, but Jakob quitting his job because falling in love with Corrin is improper is a nice character moment.

Support: Corrin/Kaze

C: A villager gives Kaze a bunch of radishes because he’s super hot. And I mean, he is. Kaze apparently doesn’t realize that he’s hot until Corrin explains it to him. Kaze mentions that he dislikes the attention because he isn’t a good person before running off.

B: Corrin asks Kaze to follow her around so she can figure out what’s bothering him. Kaze says no, so Corrin annoys him until he agrees to hang out with him. Then he runs away again.

A: Kaze admits to Corrin that it was his fault that Garon kidnapped her, because when he was a child, he noticed the Nohrian soldiers that killed Sumeragi were in the city but said nothing about it. I don’t know how that makes Corrin’s kidnapping his fault, you’d expect there to be soldiers guarding a king. And the fact that Kaze was there means that there were also Hoshido soldiers, which means there was no reason to be suspicious of the Nohrians. Also, Kaze was a teenager at the oldest, so he should probably get some leeway. Whatever. Kaze apologizes to Corrin and Corrin, in turn, apologizes for making him live with guilt for fifteen years. Corrin also points out that Kaze led her home, meaning that they’re even now. Kaze compares Corrin to Mikoto because of her kindness and pledges to serve Corrin as her loyal retainer.

S: Corrin and Kaze joke around about Corrin’s kidnapping. It’s cute. Corrin mentions that, now that she’s spent so much time offscreen with Kaze, she likes him even more. Kaze blurts out that he loves Corrin, despite being her bodyguard, and the two propose.

Review: I found this chain a bit lacking, to be honest. The first two conversations were filler and the origin for Kaze’s guilt complex is kinda dumb. Kaze’s relationship with Corrin defines him as a character. He is so guilt ridden over her kidnapping that he would betray his country and his family to protect her. Later parts of the game hinge on this relationship. But, three of their four conversations are dull. I do like Kaze’s guilt complex as a concept, and think becoming Corrin’s retainer alongside Jakob and/or Felicia and a way to repent, but it isn’t enough to save this support line.

Support: Kaze/Rinkah

C: Kaze gets a bunch of candy for being hot and shares it with Rinkah, who secretly loves candy.

B: Kaze continues to give Rinkah candy.

A: Kaze continues to give Rinkah candy.

S: Kaze reveals that he’s been giving Rinkah candy because he’s in love with her.

Review: This one was a big let down. The fact that Kaze and Rinkah are introduced together made me think it would be about their capture, but no. It’s just Kaze giving Rinkah candy for four conversations straight. And it’s cute fluff, but it’s nothing more than that. There is something interesting below the surface with Rinkah hiding her love of candy to protect her image, but it’s never really explored.

So, off to a mixed start with the support conversations.

Birthright Chapter 7: A Vow Upheld

Team Corrin heads to a Hoshidan fort where Sakura is tending to wounded soldiers. We are introduced to Sakura’s retainers, Subaki and Hana. Suddenly, the fort is attacked by Nohrian forces. Corrin and Azura point out the ridiculousness of them attacking immediately after they arrived. Sakura freaks out because the fort is being used as a hospital and has no military value. So apparently Nohr is now being evil just to be evil.

Subaki and Hana agree to help Corrin defend the fort and argue over who’s more important to Sakura, much to her annoyance. Subaki and Hana give me a good opportunity to discuss a few interesting things about classes in this game. First off, unlike in most Fire Emblem games, classes are NOT gender-specific, as demonstrated by Subaki being the first male Pegasus Knight in the series. Secondly, the classic Fire Emblem classes were divided between the two nations. Nohr got Mercenaries, Hoshido got Myrmidons. Nohr got Wyvern Riders, Hoshido got Pegasus Knights. Etc. I really like this, it gives the two countries different feels in combat both aesthetically and mechanically. Finally, a lot of Hoshidan classes were renamed to be more Eastern, shown by Hana being a Samurai instead of a Myrmidon, or by Sakura being a Shrine Maiden instead of a Cleric.

Subaki

Subaki is a Sky Knight, this game’s equivalent of a Pegasus Knight. He can fly over terrain and has good speed and resistance, but is decimated by arrows. His personal skill buffs his hit and avoid when he has full health. Design wise, I like how ridiculously smug he looks. Personality wise, he seems over-competitive yet fiercely loyal to Sakura.

Hana

Hana is a Samurai with high speed and skill. Her personal skill damaged nearby enemies when she scores a kill. Her design is fine, if a little bland. Personality wise, she seems over-competitive yet fiercely loyal to Sakura.

Starting with this chapter, we have a prep menu, where we can choose which units to use and rearrange them on the map. We can bring our whole team in with us, so it’s a little pointless, but it's nice. Worth noting that you can have units start in pair up via this menu, unlike in Awakening where you had to pair them up after the battle started.

At the start of the battle, the chapter’s boss, a Cavalier named Silas, shouts out to Corrin that he’s her childhood best friend. She does not remember him even slightly. Okie dokie.

This map is decent. It’s a bit short, but it features a lot of good bottlenecks. The Dragon Veins can be used to open heal tiles, which is a bit pointless because you have two healers. When Silas and Corrin fight, he reiterates that they used to be friends. Corrin says that she can’t remember her past. And that confuses me, because I was under the impression that she got amnesia when she was taken to Nohr, which would have been before she met Silas. Unless he’s lying.

After the battle, Corrin refuses to kill Silas. She interrogates him about why he was so hesitant to attack them and he explains that, when they were children, he helped Corrin sneak out of the walls to have a picnic. The guards tried to execute Silas for this, but Corrin stopped them, because apparently guards listen to small children. Because of this, Silas feels he owes a debt to Corrin.

Question. Why was this random child allowed to play with the super secret hostage princess? Whatever.

Corrin eventually recovers a vague memory of Silas and asks him to join the gang. She explains that Garon is crazy and evil and that’s enough to make him swap sides. Silas is now officially the most sane character in the game. I mean, he should have probably realized this stuff before being sent to destroy a hospital for shits and giggles, but still.

Also, Silas mentions that Corrin’s favorite food is surf and turf. Perhaps this symbolizes how Corrin is stuck between both kingdoms? Or maybe it’s a random throwaway line. You be the judge!

At the end of the chapter, Saizo and a new character named Orochi show up, wounded, and report that Takumi and Ryoma have gone missing. Uh oh.

Team Corrin decide to help search for the missing princes. Sakura decides to come along, despite Corrin and Kaze’s objections. Silas also decides to come along and Saizo points out that he totally could be a spy or traitor. He’s a dick, but he is infinitely smarter than Kaze.

[chokiipng]

Tradition

Toshiro scoffed as he wrapped his teal scarf around (Y/n)’s neck. When she had burst into his office with her usual lazy smile and claimed that they were going to the World of the Living for the New Years, he had at least expected her to be prepared for the weather.

But no, while he was comfortably warm in his dark trench coat, she was left shivering in the cold in nothing but a turtleneck sweater and jeans. The only piece of clothing that gave her any semblance of warmth were her fuzzy socks gifted by his irresponsible lieutenant.

“The least you could do is bring a coat out here, it’s fucking freezing,” he grumbled.

She stuck a tongue out to him as she buried further into his scarf, “You can’t say shit, you don’t even feel the cold.”

“That’s not the point-”

She had originally planned to drag him with her to celebrate with Urahara and Yoruichi, but he decided against it and convinced her to ditch them

Which brings us to the present, the both of the wandering aimlessly around Karakura town. He suggested visiting Kurosaki and his merry group, but she refused since he had a family of his own to celebrate with.

Roaming the streets of Karakura seemed to be the better choice anyway as they were in the shopping district which was filled with street vendors and sales. They were, surprisingly having a great time. For once, they were acting like normal teenagers, free of missions and paperwork. With no troublesome lieutenants or co-workers in sight.

“Oi Toshiro!” (Y/n) called, grabbing his gloved hand.

He looked down at her (his gigai had finally been updated to his adult form, thank god), he hummed in response while tracing circles on the back of her own gloved hands, provided by him.

She pointedly excitedly at a video game store, “Look! They’re having a sale! Maybe we can bring a switch home this time!”

He mentally deflated at the sight of the expensive game console. She had already blown off most of his wallet towards dinner, he didn’t want the last of his human savings to go towards a game console. But the rare smile on her face made him think otherwise, thus the both of them walking out of the store with a bag containing a Nintendo Switch and a bunch of games for them to play when they get back.

Listening to her childish rantings of the games they had bought gave him a strange sense of joy. He usually couldn’t stand it when Rangiku talked his ear off about fashion and the like he couldn’t stand it, but for some reason it was different when it came to her. He knew why, but god forbit he ever say it aloud and blow up her ego.

“I’m going to fucking destroy you and Rangiku at Super Smash. Than she’ll have to do all my work-”

“(Y/n), the fireworks Kurosaki told us about are going to start soon, we should probably find a place to watch.”

“Oh, right!”

Dropping their stuff off at Urahara’s, they settled themselves on top of Kurosaki Clinic. They didn’t need to know.

To pass the time, as they still had a few minutes left, (Y/n) started up Super Smash Bros and taught Toshiro the basics.

“Stop fucking countering!” he exclaimed.

“THen stop spamming you bitch!” she yelled back, kicking her legs off the side of the roof.

Their game was interrupted by the booming sounds of the fireworks. They looked up with wide eyes and faced each other.

“O shit, it’s 2021.”

They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into chuckles. Toshiro had intended to make their New Years memorable, especially since they were alone, but not this way. They certainly weren’t going to forget this though.

“Took the universe long enough, 2020 was utter shit. Our work increased tenfold because of the World of the Living.” Toshiro grumbled.

“Honestly, I’m pretty sure that I broke my own record of injuries within a month. Isane saw a lot of me this year, I’ll tell you that.” (Y/n) recalled, fixing the teal scarf on her shoulders.

They laughed together, a scene that you would never witness in the Squad 10 barracks. He sighed as she leaned on his shoulders, “To think that I was planning to be all romantic and shit, the other captains give shit advice.”

She giggled at that, “You should’ve known that I’m not the kind of girl to have a normal date. I would’ve appreciated whatever you did though,” she played with the star clip on his scarf, “Especially tonight, since you blew your entire life savings on video games. God, thank you for that.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t! You loooooooooooooooove me.” she teased with an impish smile.

He rolled his eyes playfully and pulled out a small box from his coat pocket, “I guess I don’t have to give you my gift. Oh well, guess I’ll just give it to Rangiku-”

“No! I’m sorry!”

He stood up and raised it out of her reach, “Excuse me, what did you say?”

“Sorry!”

He smirked and brought his hand back down. He opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with a snowflake charm. “It was supposed to be for Christmas, but you were out on a mission.”

She looked at it and laughed. Was it too simple? Shit! He knew he should have just listened to the others!

His internal panic was cut short when she brought out a similar looking box and opened it for him. Inside was a chain with a star charm on it. “Great minds think alike I guess.”

They exchanged gifts and sat back down on the rooftop in silence, leaning on each other and watching the firework show.

“Y’know, I think the seller knew that we were going to do this.”

“He totally knew.”

[yourdeepestfathoms]

In Our Bedroom After The War

[Broadway Kids]

Prompt: “Fuck what they think. I respect you and if they don’t, I’ll break their knees.”

Word count: 2944

-----------------------

Tommy can’t quite remember when Carrie stopped speaking. Some people said it was in the third grade after she brought that Bible to school and started praying in the middle of lunch, others said after the Christian Youth Camp incident and she swallowed so much water that she “permanently clogged her vocal cords” or something stupid. Whatever happened, something had made Carrie White go silent, and she’s been a target of mockery since.

Deaf and dumb. That’s what the other kids liked to call her. But she isn’t deaf, Tommy knows, because she always reacts to what is said about her with great offense and pain, and she certainly isn’t dumb because Tommy has seen her grades when her report cards are stolen and passed around by bullies. She’s a smart girl, very smart. If anything, he was the dumb one, because the amount of times he’s almost given away their little get-togethers was unbelievable.

It started a month into the school year, he believed. He went into senior year, while Carrie just started high school. He can’t quite remember what caused them to start meeting up in the hidden bathroom under the staircase in the C hall stair well, and he’ll admit that he had never imagined himself hanging out with the city’s resident freak and actually enjoy it, but he would seriously miss their reclusive meetings every Friday after school if they were to ever stop.

Today in particular was very special. 1) because he was finally going to try and teach Carrie about video games (she was fourteen! she should at least know the basics like Pokemon and Mario!) and 2) he had noticed that Carrie seemed a little off the past week and he wanted to ask her about it.

When you saw someone like Carrie White, you would assume that she was constantly in a state of anxiety and depression, but Tommy has learned to pick up on little ticks she does over time. Like how lately, she’s been tugging on her hair and biting her knuckles more often, something she only does if something is really bothering her. Because of their social status in the high school hierarchy, he was never able to ask her if she was alright, so non verbal forms of communication would have to do until their weekly meetup.

There’s the way he tried to avoid letting her out of sight, and if it isn’t that, then it's the way they move around each other in natural synchronicity in the hallway, like celestial bodies that have been caught in orbit for millennia. It's the way he makes excuses to walk alone to class just to make sure she doesn’t get any trouble on the way to her own. It's the silent conversations, an inquisitive look (“You okay?”) answered by a minute nod (“All good.”). It’s everything he wishes he had done for her before his final year of high school.

He tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about how Carrie would soon be all alone again after he graduates. Tried not to think about what would happen to her when he isn’t there as her silent guardian. Tried not to think about how sad he would be without seeing her every day anymore.

Tommy slipped inside the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible to avoid alerting anyone who may have been lurking around, and turned to face the rest of the space. Carrie is sitting at the sink counter on one of two stools Tommy had smuggled in there for them. She turned her head to look at him sideways, but she’s still got her nose buried in a sketchbook, which she still hasn't let him look at. He wondered what she's drawing. Maybe it's a treasure map. Or a secret code. Or that deer they saw earlier. Or him.

  “The party has arrived!” Tommy has announced, his voice rebounding loudly off of the silent bathroom walls. He dropped his backpack on the floor, unlike Carrie had done, as hers was hung up on one of the hooks on the wall.

Carrie finally put her pencil down and swiveled around completely in her stool to smile at him. She doesn’t show any teeth with her grin, and it’s slightly wry, but it’s a smile nonetheless and Tommy is honored to get such a thing from her. He examined her quickly, luckily finding no new wounds from bullying, then crossed over. She hastily closed her sketchbook.

  “One day,” He said. “One day I will see your masterpiece.”

Carrie gave him an apologetic look, her smile becoming a little more tight. She grabbed a nearby whiteboard to write on, but stopped when Tommy waved a hand.

  “No, no,” He said. “No need for that! I’ve been doing really well in my ASL class- you can sign to me!”

Carrie looked skeptical, but Tommy doesn’t miss the flash of excitement in her warm honey eyes. It’s not often that someone understands her when she uses sign language.

  “Come on, I’m smarter than I look! Don’t doubt my abilities to learn a new language!”

Carrie nodded. She held up her hands, shaking down the frayed sleeves of her shirt, and began to sign.

  “What (something) we (something) today?”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t AS fluent as he thought, but Carrie looked so much more comfortable being able to sign! He could just use his context clues!

  “Something very fun!” Tommy assured her. He took out his phone and turned on a playlist that they’ve been progressively adding more and more songs to (with Carrie having to write hers down and give the list to him, seeing as she didn’t own any electronics). You can tell who added what like this: if it’s Christian related or something grungy-chill, Carrie probably added it; if it has folk music vibes and/or a lot of acoustic guitars, it was probably Tommy, surprisingly enough; if it just generally sounds like it’s ripped from an indie movie, it’s kind of a toss up.

He took out the Nintendo Switch he got last Christmas next and set it up on the sink counter. Carrie tilted her head at it as if it were a peculiar flower that had just sprouted out of the porcelain countertop. 

  “Ever played before?” Tommy asked, although he already knew the answer.

  “No. (something) I’ve seen (something) (something).”

  “You’ve seen it before?” Tommy repeated, guessing just by the way Carrie had pointed to her eyes.

Carrie nodded.

  “Well, now you get to play it!” Tommy beamed at her and she smiled back, but it seems a little forced. Something is definitely on her mind- he’ll have to ask once she’s a little more relaxed. “Hmm… How about Minecraft?”

  “M-I-N-E-C-R-A-F-T. I’ve heard (something) (something).”

  “It’s fun!” Tommy assured her, selecting the game. “Trust me, you’ll like it.” He put the controllers in her hands and she rubs her thumbs over the rubber protectors. “So the main goal is surviving,” He went on. “There's a lot of objectives actually, but surviving is always the first one. Once you get used to it, you can play in Survival mode and start making a good base and start getting tools and armor and stuff, then you can move on to other objectives. But for now you can just play in Creative. What should we name the world?”

Carrie thought for a few moments, and Tommy could practically see all the random names cycling through her brain. After a moment, she signed, “(something)”

Tommy blinked.

  “One more time.”

  “(something)”

  “Can you fingerspell it, please?”

  “V-E-N-U-S.”

  “Oh! Venus! We haven’t learned planets yet.” Tommy said. “Wait- Venus?”

  “V-E-N-U-S (something) (something) (something) cool place (something) live.”

Tommy laughed. “Can’t argue with that logic!” He helped Carrie type in the name and clicked through a couple of other settings before hitting “create world”. Within a few moments the world was up and running. Carrie’s character was off in no time, exploring the blocky landscape and sifting through her colorful inventory, although her movements were sporadic and jerky since it was her first time playing.

Decorating the base was by far Carrie’s favorite part. There were so many different flowers for the outside and wood types for flooring and even COLORED glass. The only thing that would make it better was if you could have animals and OH MY GOODNESS YOU COULD HAVE ANIMALS!!!!!!!!

For a moment, Tommy debated just leaving Carrie there and allowing her to design the base and play around however she wanted, but he couldn't. He was so worried that someone may waltz in and see her in the boy’s bathroom and then do something to her. Carrie being nearly drowned in one of the toilets, Carrie getting her head smashed against the sink counter, Carrie being raped, Carrie getting beaten into a bloody pulp- so many horrible scenarios forced their way into his head. Carrie getting her throat slit, Carrie getting her body stuffed in the air vent, Carrie getting sodomized with a mop stick.

Why? Why were kids so cruel to her? Why couldn’t Tommy protect her from everything? Why does he know he can’t?

There was a soft touch on his hand and he jolted out of his thoughts. Carrie flinched away, too, then signed something he couldn’t understand, but knew she was asking if he was okay by the pinched expression on her face.

  “I’m okay,” He assured her. “Just thinking.”

She made the gesture of “what” and tilted her head. Then she pointed to herself.

About me?

  “Yeah,” Tommy admitted.

That made Carrie’s nose scrunch up in a giggle.

  “Don’t (something) S-U-E know.”

  “If you think that I would cheat on my girlfriend with a fish, then you are very much wrong.” Tommy said. “What about you? What’s been on your mind?”

Carrie put the Switch controllers down and shrugged her shoulders. She began to play with the cuff of her sleeve, not really making eye contact anymore.

  “Come on,” Tommy urged. “You can tell me!”

  “People,” Carrie signed vaguely.

  “People?” Tommy echoed. “People being rude to you?”

Carrie shrugged again, and it was clear she didn’t really want to talk about this anymore, nor did she seem to be in a mood to continue playing. Tommy packed up the Nintendo Switch and paused their shared playlist. He gave Carrie her backpack and they started to walk out of the school in mutual silence.

  “Sorry,” Tommy said as they neared the parking lot. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Carrie shook her head, then signed, “You didn’t. Don’t worry.”

  “Yeah, but-”

  “Well if it isn’t praying Carrie!”

Carrie went rigid, like she had been struck by lightning. She stopped mid-step and didn’t move as a group of seniors trot over, their faces alight with mischief and cruelty.

  “Ross!” One of them called. “What are you doing with this freak?”

  “Is she holding you hostage?” Another guessed, casting a look at Carrie.

  “I bet she’s leading him out to his car to force him to let her ride him.” A third said. The group howled with diseased laughter at that. Tommy is appalled. Carrie looked ill. “Is that it, church girl? The need for sex has finally broken into you and you’re ready to sin?”

  “Back off!” Tommy growled, shoving the boy away. He put himself between him and Carrie, becoming a barricade of sorts. “Leave her alone.”

  “I wonder how loud she’ll moan,” A fourth member of the group mused.

  “Can she even moan?” The second wondered out loud.

  “If you plowed into her hard enough I bet she’ll make some sort of sound.” The first said.

Carrie darted left and sprinted for the nearby line of trees edging the campus. Tommy glared at the group of seniors, then followed, concerned. 

The darkness of the forest quickly closes around them. Carrie is fast on her feet, but Tommy was an athlete and he caught up quickly. He snagged the back of her jacket in a loose grip. They stumbled together over uneven ground and exposed tree roots until Carrie collapsed in a hollow between two moss-covered rocks. Tommy slotted himself in front of her so that she’s shielded from all sides- the rocks and Tommy forming a barrier from the world.

He said nothing. He listened to the girl’s gasping breaths and knew that it’s nothing that words can cure- not anymore. Not after years of having no one, being stabbed in the back and spoon fed lies. He closed his eyes and immersed himself in the rustling of oak leaves, the distant calls of birds, the persistent harmony of crickets.

He wondered what Carrie used to ground herself.

He wondered if she grounded herself at all.

Slowly, softly, Carrie calmed to some degree. It comes faster than Tommy expected, but he assumed that’s just because she’s grown used to the treatment she gets. She shifted, wiggling her shoes beneath Tommy’s thigh. Tommy doesn’t shift. He won’t leave until she does.

  “It’s okay,” He finally whispered. “I’m here. I won’t let them hurt you.”

Carrie whimpered and made a sloppy gesture- Why?

  “Because I care about you.” Tommy said. “Fuck what they think. I respect you and if they don’t, I’ll break their knees.”

He wanted to make her laugh or smile or at least stop crying, but Carrie just whimpered again. She swiveled around to face him, eyes flashing with tears. 

  “Why?” She signed again, sniffling miserably.

  “We’re friends.” Tommy told her. “You know that, don’t you?” The look he got said that she didn’t believe it. “Come on. Tell me some things you know about me. You’d be surprised how well you know me.”

Carrie hesitated, then began to sign, “Your name is Tommy Ross.” She winced at how bland it was, but Tommy only nodded, brushing a bit of his dark brown hair out of his eyes. Carrie’s face scrunched up like she’s memorizing her timestaple in front of him, struggling to bring that gridded mess of numbers to mind. 

  “You’re the tallest (something) (something) everyone (something) your team,” She continued. The sky overhead is eye-wateringly blue, with crisply white cotton clouds scudding along the horizon. A light breeze shakes the leaves of a nearby oak tree that has the initials of some high school sweethearts carved into the base of its trunk. They’re a little crooked from where someone’s hand had slipped, the flat of a switchblade arcing a little too close to the bark, and making a J thicker, almost a U when you looked at it dead on. 

  “That’s right,” Tommy said. He knows his role here is only background noise. That’s his job, whether Carrie knows it or not, and he’s more than happy to fulfill it. He doesn’t mind being subject to the scrutiny of befriending ol’ praying Carrie because of it. Not if it’s what she needs to feel better.

  “Your eyes (something) like a (something) green-brown, (something) (something) like slimy algae. You always have (something) stupid red sports jacket on. Your sneakers (something) (something) white, once upon a time.” She managed to tease him, uttering out a tiny giggle.

  “What can I say, Carrie, I’m a filthy gremlin, like all boys are-” He joked, and she swatted him lightly on the arm. She bit back a laugh, and Tommy wished that she wouldn’t- Carrie tips her head back when she laughs, unabashed and on the edge of hysterical, giggling and snorting, shoulders shaking with mirth until she’s brought her gaze back down again, cheeks flushed from the exertion of being host to that much joy despite everything that she’s been through. No one holds the weight of trauma and mistreatment as heavily on their shoulders as Carrie White does- Carrieta, the library to all of those scattered instances of would-be’s-could-be’s-shouldn’t-be’s. And still, there is a smidge joy. It’s beautiful. He thought that she’s most beautiful when she’s laughing (don’t tell Sue, and if you do, make sure you let her know it’s completely platonic. but just don’t tell her at all).

  “You have, like, (something) favorite red shirt, with a light brown hood on it. And S-U-E thinks it’s hideous.” Carrie continued. She’s tapping her foot against his leg, a gentle soothing gesture, and he lets her. He knew that it’s more for herself than him.

  “You have a golden ring (something) onto a necklace.” Carrie signed. “But you don’t wear it (something) you think it (something) you look silly. But it’s really pretty.” Pause, and when she signed again, it wasn't about the necklace anymore. “It’s (something) (something) like having a sibling.” Pause. Carrie looked up at him with glittering eyes. “You’re Tommy Ross.”

The weight that she placed on his name makes his heart stutter, catching in his chest- the warmth that he felt towards her is almost unbearable, and he found himself grinning, mouth gone crooked in the gesture.

  “I’m Tommy Ross, that’s right,” He repeated to her, as if they’re introducing themselves at some shitty college icebreaker. “And I’m not going anywhere, Carrie.” He went on, a touch of urgency in his voice- and she smiles, eyes closing, though hers are more reserved than his, somehow. There’s a tear bright in the corner of her right eye, and it traced a thin path down her face. More come. They pool at her chin, dripping off of her face, and soaking into the softness of the earth. His chest ached.

  “And you’re not going anywhere,” She whispered, voice hitching a little halfway through. He swiped a thumb over her cheek, flicked the tear off into the green grass behind them. 

  “I’m not,” He promised. “I’m not leaving you, Carrie.” And his voice had gone soft, her name cradled gently in his mouth, like he’s afraid of breaking something precious.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

[9uk]

Let Me Stay Close To You : prologue

⌲ summary : you were finally free from the worst nightmare of your life in high school. the doors of college welcomed you with open arms, you were set on living your best life in here, away from the toxicity back at home. that shimmer of hope in restoring your life, was somehow effortlessly crushed by a tap on your shoulder. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you say we catch up for a moment?”

⌲ pairing : bully!jungkook x reader

⌲ word count : 3.7k

⌲ genre: a whole lot of angst, angry jungkook!!1!!11!!!

⌲ warnings : mentions of abuse and violent acts (blood and cuts)

⌲ a/n : hehe look foward to part 1, where things will start to transpire between jk & oc :> and namjoon would appear!

prologue > part one

People always found you an easy prey to bully. And that was because you were nice. Too nice. Well at least for their liking.

When they took your notes or stationaries without asking, you’d only smile. When they flip your lunch in the bin or purposely stain your skirt, you’d just skip your meal and quickly wash up. You wouldn’t even rat out at them or cry in the corner for their bullying acts. One of the ‘they’, included the handsome popular, Jeon Jungkook. He was the guy who was good at all sports, studies average, had a line of girls queuing for him, had his usual awesome circle of friends and he was flooded with money, being the youngest heir of the JEON Entertainment.

Life seemed to be going pretty well for him. 

He was nice, to those that benefited him, to his friends, to pretty girls and so on. He exceptionally loved to pick on you, you don’t know why, but he just does, even though you’re a little unreactive to his attacks. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that your family was of no merit status, you enrolled into this elite high school purely from results of distinction and flying colours—making you an easy target. It was like you were his favourite victim. How you beared with all of his petty actions made you almost seem like a masochist. And it all started from the day you accidentally tripped him, (or more like he did not watch where he was going) he ended up falling to the ground with his lunch smashed on his face and the whole school witnessed the tragic event, trying their best to not burst out laughing at the embarassing moment for the notorious and powerful student. As a person of high popularity, it obviously tarnished his reputation ever since he started his annoying insults and bullying even though you had apologised profusely.

“Y/N, watch out!” You would turn to the direction of the sound, only to feel sharp pain at your cheeks, a rubber band shot right at you. And you hear Jungkook and other students laughing.

You would wince a little, as your skin starts to sting hard and Jungkook’s laughter falls slightly as he realised you were hurting. He only bullied you to how much you can take, and he’s never crossed the line. But the line is subjective. 

Jungkook would fiddle with your hair with his pencil from behind in geography class, copy your homework and at times he would snatch the cup of berry yoghurt drink you would bring everyday to school for your lunch and drink it all at one go, leaving only a soft thanks. 

Many instances like this.

But you did not mind, you paid no attention to his mischievous acts to not let him get what he wanted, which was what all bullies wanted—their victims to be affected by them. 

You gradually became someone Jungkook frequently vented his frustrations on. Seeing how submissive and forgiving you were to what he did to you, made his blood boil at times. 

“Hey, finish this essay for me.” Jungkook would slam the incomplete homework onto your table and place his hands in his pockets. He searches your face for any displease but your visage of kindness never falters. You only agree without hesitation. “Okay.”

The word flicked a switch in his nerves. You were like a robot, turning blind to his existence and simply following his orders. Your willingness to comply to every single thing he says is ticking him off, irritating him at its maximum. 

“Okay? Is that the only word you fucking know?!” The bomb in him finally explodes and he slaps the back of your head. “Answer me.” Jungkook tugs at your ponytail and demands an immediate answer.

 “No, but what do you want?” It was like, you finally spoken up. And it elicited a smirk from his cunning face. 

“What do I want?” He cocks a brow playfully.“ I want-” 

“Whatever my reply is, you’ll hit me, anyways.” You cut him off and look down, far too tired to deal with his bullshit. You found no point in rebutting to his words or actions, the outcome would still be similar in a way or two. You were already prepared for a slap to arrive on your exceptionally daring cheeks. Or maybe even a punch in the face.

 Jungkook tongued his cheeks at your witty reply, and for not letting him finish. He feels a scorching wrath swirling in the pit of his stomach and sends you a look that could burn a hole right through walls, “I’d suggest you leave before your stupid face catches my fist.” To which you stood up and made your way out of the classroom, away from Jungkook. You could sense when he was really mad, and you would know best when to leave him alone. 

Jungkook sweeps the stationaries and papers off your desk in rage and they fall, clamouring to the floor. He just couldn’t understand how you’d always seemed to have the upper hand even though he was the one clearly possessing the dominance between the both of you. He had no form of control over anything in his life—his money didn’t come from his bank, his grades were a total flop, his every movement was restricted and watched over by his parents and the media— his life was just so out of place. And meanwhile you? You had just escalated his need of having you squirming under the very tips of his fingers. Jungkook didn’t know why he was feeling this way—it was sickening.

 Why were you so obedient to his ridiculous commands? It didn’t seem like you were afraid of him at all, either. You were really a one of a kind in his life—he had never met anyone like you at all.

When he interacted with you, he could truly be himself without holding back or resisting the urge to yell threats or throw violent fits. It was perhaps because of the fact that these behaviours were not condoned at home or in the eagle eye of the public, he unleashes the true nature in him onto you—someone that he didn’t need to impress—and in an exceptionally ruthless way.

For you it was a rather usual day at the school of bullies (or rather, bully) and being the introvert you were, you silently listened to music with your head in your folded arms. Peace was one of your major goals in the process of getting through this hellhole. And music brought you happiness, blocking away all the hushed murmurs and gossips, the loud mixture of squeals and ramblings of rambunctious cliques. You weren’t so much of a fan in raising the roof. While the rest went for recess, you stayed in class for a moment of silence. Or so you thought. 

Jungkook digs his pockets frantically. “Ah, my phone. I left it in class. Follow me to get it would you?” Jungkook nudges Yugyeom. It elicited a roll of the yes of his friend, but Yugyeom still accompanies him like the good mate he was. “Fine.”

You peeked and noticed the classroom door had opened. Followed by voices. You would have ignored them if they were talking amongst themselves but you were the main subject of their blabbering. But also, it’s not like you really cared either way.

“Wow, isn’t that like the lamest girl in our level?” Yugyeom tucks his hands in his pockets and nods at your direction, casually picking on you.

You keep your head in between your arms, refusing to look up but listen as you discreetly lower the volume of the your phone. The least you could afford to do was to not be such an oblivious idiot to their words.

Jungkook takes a quick look at you, wonders why you stick out like a sore thumb practically everywhere for a second, then heads to his bag to collect his phone.

“Oh look, she even brings a Nintendo DS to school. How cute.” Yugyeom swipes it carelessly off your table, inspecting the game console. Your head flew up to your pink gaming device being touched by the fingers of a stranger, and not purely just any stranger—but Kim Yugyeom. You tried to snatch it back but Yugyeom was faster than you in every way, swinging it away from your reach. 

“Give it back you asshole!” You shouted, tone clearly displaying your annoyance. The sound of your voice immediately grabs Jungkook’s attention away from his bag, his head whipping to your direction at the volume of your voice, never heard before. 

You must be really pissed in order to have yelled like that.

A devious smirk crawls onto his features instantly.

The usual you would have not cared, letting them push your buttons but you would never go into a outburst. However, and very unfortunately, the Nintendo console was a present from your late bestfriend, the only thing you could hold onto in his remembrance. The thoughts of the sweet boy you grew up so close to never fails to have your eyes start stinging with tears but you hold them back. As always. 

Yugyeom gives a sacarstically impressed pout at your outrage, too calm even after you retorted fiercely back at him. “Woah, she’s feisty.” Yugyeom calmly comments—almost scaringly too calm.

The calm before the storm.

“Kook-ah, let’s have some fun before we go for lunch, shall we?”

Though on the inside, discontentment pricks at his gut. No one shouts at him, Kim Yugyeom, son of the head boss of Kim Industries, raised with a sliver spoon in his mouth, almost everyone bend their heads upon his presence—let alone the loser who lacked both money and power. He still has the precious console in his possession, and you were beyond fury when he is unresponsive to your complains. “Give,” You clench your teeth. 

“It,” You ball your hands into tight fists.

 “BACK!” 

Before you know it, before he knows it, before everybody knows it, the sharp edges of your knuckles are flying across Kim Yugyeom’s face with a harsh and unforgiving strength. He flies in the direction of your hit and knocks into some of the classroom desks, toppling over and onto the ground. You had just punched Kim Yugyeom. You sighed in burnt out anger, regretting your impulsive decision to punch a rich asshole in the face—for your ass was about to get sued by the second largest company in town and all of your efforts in swallowing your pride and succumbing to all of their vicious acts had gone down the drain. Solely in a swing of your arm. Because you weren’t having it that day. And so was the person witnessing this from the corner of the classroom.

 Despite the refreshing reaction from you, Jungkook is enraged from the sight of his bruised friend. He grabs your wrist and slams you back onto the lockers at the back violently till they ruttle. You wonder why the bad boys in high school movies did this to their crushes. First of all, it actually really hurts. Second of all, you were no crush to Jungkook, and in the very sad reality, his punching bag. The loud clang of the metal locker doors did not make you flinch one bit as you were too, overwhelmed with anger. He saw no fear. You were so lost in your own damn little world, like always.

 The locking of your gazes were so intense and filled with rage, Jungkook was a little shocked at the way you were acting. He’s never seen you this riled up before. Slowly, you calmed down and you feel emptiness surge throughout your whole body as the rage dissipates. Yugyeom was still on the ground, checking his elbows and wincing upon the tragic fall, letting his bestfriend finish the job.

“The nerve of you?” It comes out softer than he expects, perhaps because of the effect of your quick change in entire demeanour on him. He grips your wrist even tighter and kicks you in the shin.

“Do you know that you’re such an eyesore?”

Jungkook shoves at your shoulder hard, you almost feel like it dislocated.

“Do you know that your fucking ignorance makes you intolerable?” His eyes grew darker with every crude remark spat onto you, the strength exerted in his strikes and the vein popping out at his neck clearly expressing the amount resentment he has for your existence.

 You are able sense that he meant every word, each sentence hitting you to rock bottom. 

You were back to the normal Y/N, not showing any sort of emotions, keeping them locked up in a cage, in a place far away from your heart. 

He narrows his eyes at you. Jungkook was getting annoyed, at how his actions and words didn’t even make you have the slightest tremble.

Despite his threatening form, you remained your calm composure and simply tweaked a smile.

“I do.” 

What comes after those retaliating words was a sharp stinging slap on the face. The skin-on-skin contact between his hand and your face enchoed through the classroom, the slap was so brutal it sent your cheek burning and his hand print stained red on the skin. Tears start to well up in your eyes, not because of emotions but the physical pain and you held them back. Like always. 

You’ve been through worse, get a hold of your damn tears.

You would tell yourself.

“Stop living,” Jungkook shows no remorse on his face and proceeds to grab your hair so tightly your scalp might rip apart.

“In,” He smashes your head to the side and something cut your forehead—the broken lock that had a piece of metal protruding. Jungkook is completely blinded by the rage and scars surging throughout his body, he doesn’t notice this and he keeps throwing you against the lockers.

“Your,” 

Cut.

“Own.” 

Cut.

“Fucking world!” By this time, thick blood starts drooling from the wound down to your cheeks.

“Yah yah yah, that’s enough.” Yugyeom managed to get up and reaches out to restrain his friend in time. But he wasn’t doing it for the sake of you, he was stopping his bestfriend from landing in jail for murder, or something of the sort.

Jungkook scoffs and you slide down to the ground in an exhausted defeat. Your frontal lobe was probably out in open air now, with the skin of your forehead having teared apart.

The game device is on the ground, probably broken from the rampage earlier on.

Everything feels too numb, and cuts and bruises were nothing.

“Yah, wasn’t that a bit too much?” Yugyeom looks at Jungkook while wincing at the bruise on the corner of his lip as he recalls your bloody head.

Jungkook keeps his eyes to the front, “You said you wanted to have fun. And you just got punched..real bad. By a girl.” Jungkook chuckles to lighten the mood. Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “I’ll pay her back for it someday..” He feels a dull strike upon his ego.

 “But I guess that lame thing really meant something to her so I probably deserved it.” Jungkook looks at his friend in suspicion. 

Since when did he become this understanding?

“Whatever. I already did the favour for you.”

Yugyeom’s brows are knitted together hard, in what seemed like confusion and worry, his eyes searching the ground for answers. He scratches the back of his neck in rapidly in frustration, as he analyses the situation earlier on.

“But it isn’t of you to be that violent. She fucking bled!”

 Jungkook halts his steps.

“What?” 

“Dude, she was bleeding like mad! We never got to the extent of picking on her to.. to that state!” His expression falls at the fresh memory of the harsh blow on your head. 

“Were you too caught up with your thoughts or something?” 

“I...Uh, didn’t know.” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows. A spark of guilt shocks him into realisation, followed by strong currents of shame washing over his whole body. For the first time, he feels apologetic, the need to check on the condition of your injury surges through him and his legs are moving on their own accord back to the classroom of that fatal accident. When he arrives to said destination, your slouched form against the lockers is long gone, the classroom had no one except a thick layer of tension lingering in the air from the incident earlier on. Instinctively, he dashes to the school’s sick bay. 

Jungkook tells himself that he is this concerned about you because he is the culprit of the sharp slice on your temple, and nothing else. He still hates you deep to the core and had already planned out a series of insults he could carry on to spit on you once you would return to school. Make fun of the ugly bandage you were going to have wrapped around your head, maybe. As he views you through the rectangular glass panel fixed on the bay’s door, he catches you smiling assuringly at the anxious nurse tending to your injury. 

It was the first time he saw you smile. 

His muscles unknowingly relaxes at the sight.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” 

He can make out the words you mouthed and that rip on your head with dried up blood, for sure did not seem fine at all. 

He was a monster. He was a monster to you, that is.

“I just fell.” 

There’s a pang of remorse in his conscience-stricken heart. 

The school nurse’s eyes widened in disbelief. Just for a brief moment, he contemplates to stop bullying your weak and pathetic form. There should be plenty other people out there to release his anger onto… he wasn’t even sure. You were the nicest and most cooperative victim so far in his journey of putting people down to feed his ego and have some sort of control over at least something in his life. And that is also why he doesn’t ever stop provoking you. Your perfect ignorance ignites his passion in tormenting you, for you weren’t an easy prey to intimidate, yet at the same time you effortlessly comply to his outrageous demands—he found it enticing.

The nurse wipes her forehead with the back of her hand dramatically, in some sort of despair to figure out how the hell was she going to fix you up with an injury this serious. Stitches was the final resort and it was going to be a huge hassle for the both of you, she explained. You simply chuckled at her over worrying and flustered form for you as she fondles hastily around the trays of medication in panic.

 It was certainly entertaining to see someone worrying this much about you. 

Jungkook watches your teeth slowly show and what seemed like a shy giggle falling from your lips. 

It was the first time he saw you laugh.

Light starts to fill into his dark eyes and his heart does that thing again.The thing it does when he sees his first love in 3rd grade. The feeling is long forgotten and you were the cause of it gradually lighting up again. He has no idea when he started feeling these tingling sparks in his heart whenever he sees you, but he knew love was nothing but trouble. Jungkook hates to admit it, but he cares for you more than he actually shows it. And he begins to loathe himself for doing all these stupid things to you. 

Indeed he wasn’t in his right mind. That morning his eggs were burnt, he broke his glass of milk, he wore mismatched socks, his mom nagged at him more than usual, his hair didn’t stay the way he styled it—rough morning for a boy who’d never been through hardships.

That’s why he was further more tilted when he realised he left his phone in class, only to come across you, who punched his bestfriend across the face. And Jungkook’s revenge got a little out of hand for his liking when he snapped back to his senses, he felt genuinely sorry for hurting you this time. That badly. He usually just did stupid tricks to you or yell insults at you—and today he made you bleed. 

Maybe it was time he put a stop to this.

“Look shithead, I’m sorry for creating that ugly-looking cut on your head the other day. But hey, I’m just a tiny bit sorry okay? You still belong in the trashcan.” Jungkook repeats the apology differently for the twenty-fourth time, staring at the reflection of his own cocky face. He lets out a huff of frustration. He didn’t understand why he was practicing for a stupid apology. 

Perhaps it was because it’s you.

 Someone he’d never thought he would be saying sorry to. 

Why was it so difficult? “Fuck it,” He muttered under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair, stomping out of the bathroom. 

The loud ringings of the bell throughout the school signalled the start of hell. It was a typical Monday half the school dreaded, the other half being overly-enthusiastic nerds who worked their asses off. One of aforementioned group of people being you. You, whom was constantly buried in cheesy romance novels, to which half of them were filled with his nasty scribbles and doodles, and whom he still felt like he owed a sincere ‘I’m sorry’ to. 

He hops off the black Mercedes Benz and takes his time strolling into the school building, knowing you always arrived on the dot— to probably not want to spend any more time than neccessary in this shitty system (and with him).

As he rehearses his lines once more, Jungkook trudges into the classroom with confidence. A minute late, to be specific, a strategy of making sure you were in there already.

The words memorised painstakingly in his head seem to slowly fade into a sheet of blank, and his brows knit in confusion automatically—at your empty seat.

“I’m sorry.”

But you weren’t there anymore.

[blackhakumen]

Banjo Protection Squad Headcannon

I thought about it for a while now. So now it would be the time to create a protection squad for our lovable bear, Banjo.

(Cause he kind of need one right now..)

Leader/Best Friend: Kazooie

Banjo and Kazooie has been best friends for as long as either of them could even remember. And while Kazooie's sarcastic behavior may have cause Banjo some trouble in most of their adventures together, he still consider her as one of his bestest pals. And as much as Kazooie doesn't like to admit in public, she really does care about Banjo as well.

Worried about how Banjo's kindness (and gullibly) might lead him to trouble some day in the tournament, Kazooie took it upon herself to form a Protection Squad of her own in order get her best bud from getting himself hurt.

Co. Captain/The Wild Card: Diddy Kong

Diddy has been one of Banjo's childhood friends way before him and Kazooie met. When he and Donkey Kong heard that their bear bud is going to finally participate in the Smash Tournament, the two Kongs were completely overjoyed.

But once Kazooie told him about the Squad and how she's worried about Banjo's safety, Diddy quickly agreed to join her crew in order to make sure that his childhood friend have the best tournament experience of his life.

Bodyguard: Donkey Kong

Another one of Banjo's childhood friends who is just as excited to see him again as his nephew, Diddy was.

DK wasn't really worried about Banjo at first. But after suddenly realizing that the Smash Tournament is filled with countless dangerous and brutal fighters (Ganondorf, Ridley, Mewtwo, and etc.), the leader of the DK crew agrees to join the Squad not only to be a bodyguard, but to also help train the Honey Bear to be a force to reckoned with on the battlefield.

Ace Pilot: Falco Lombardi

The moment both Kazooie and Falco met each other for the first in Smash Town, the two birds became somewhat close friends. The Ace Pilot also took a liking to Banjo, as he sees him as pretty nice guy (Besides his best friend, Fox)

Falco decides to join the Squad just so he could get to know the Honey Bear a little more (also because Kazooie wouldn't stop bugging him to join).

The Beauty: Haru Okumura aka the Beauty Thief

Haru instantly adores Banjo because of his kindness and how cute and adorable he is to her. So it's not a surprise to anyone that she'd immediately join the Squad once Kazooie told her about it.

Another reason why Kazooie want her to join is because she knew how completely terrifying the Beauty Thief can be when something upsets her.

The Hacker/Fan: Futaba Sakura

Futaba Sakura is actually one of Banjo and Kazooie's biggest fans (since she played both the main titles on the Nintendo 64 she has back home with Sojiro).

So when Kazooie told her about the Protection Squad of the Honey Bear, the young hacker immediately went on the board to make one of her gaming heroes make it out of the tournament victoriously.

The Eleventh Hero: Luminary

As a fellow new participants of the Smash Tournament, both him and Banjo became actual good friends. Looking after one and another and whatnot.

He agreed to join Kazooie and the other members in the squad in order to go him out the best way he can.

The Queen: Makoto Nijima aka Queen

Makoto didn't really had that much of a opinion of Banjo at first glance. But after working alongside one another against the forces of Dharkon and Galeem, spent some time together, and having him remind her of her childhood stuffed bear called Buchimaru, Makoto Instantly think of Banjo as one of her cherished friends. So it was surprising to everyone to see the Queen herself, asked Kazooie to let her join her Squad.

Makoto wants to do whatever it takes to help the kind-hearted Honey Bear gain more of his self confidence and overcome any obstacles that may come his way. And while she doesn't want to get involve with any conflict, Makoto is willing to bust some heads if anything were to cause Banjo any sort of harm.

And that's everyone on the Squad. So what do you guys think?

@ink-correctsmashbrosbloo

@scribblehooves

@keyenuta

@kira-vera

@miki-13

@ma-lemons

[ill-skillsgard]

Phoenix Rising, Part 3 - Valter Skarsgård

Title: Phoenix Rising

Description: The struggle for domination is paved with deceit and destructive lust as two enemies battle it out for control night after night.

Warning: 18+ swearing/mentions of rape/violence/femdom/DDLG leanings

Part 1 Part 2

Three losses and two wins put me up another rank to number five. When I saw my name rise up one more slot on the board, two slots below Vscars I cheered rather enthusiastically only because I was by myself. It took me over three hours to get there and by the time it happened my opponent told me that he was signing off for the night. Really I had nobody to celebrate with but myself.

Going to work the next day, I felt confident and eager to stand around and talk video games but when I got there the only people in the store were Riley and Valter. There were no customers at all. It was ten AM on a weekday but even at that, I thought maybe at least a few people would wander in.

Riley greeted us with a little less heart than he had on our first day. Valter was there before me again and the both of them were at the front counter counting out the cash register for the day.

"Good morning, Nix. You ready for a day of cleaning?" Riley asked.

"Sure. What will you have of me?" I asked.

"Well, one of you are going to have to sweep the floor and the other will have to mop after so you guys can rock, paper, scissors for who has to do what. I could delegate the tasks but... You can battle it out."

Valter simpered at me and it was the first time I noticed the magnitude of his pout. He was undoubtedly tall and maybe just a little intimidating by the way his blue eyes never seemed to give you a break. But he had a soft face and a wholesome smile that betrayed any notion of ominousness when he flashed it. He held out his fist and prepared to play me at Rock, Paper, Scissors, looking down at me with the corner of his mouth drawn up.

"All right, let's do this," he rolled up the sleeves of the grey hoodie he wore over his black work shirt.

"Okay."

"Rock, paper, scissors!" We cast our choices and I chose rock.

Valter's hand grabbed my clench fist and squeezed gently as he had chosen paper. His smirk only intensified.

"All right, Valter, you get to choose," Riley announced.

"Good game," Valter said, holding up his fist for me to bump knuckles with him.

I did so and without being a sore loser either. There was something nice about him that I could gather just by how he carried himself around others. He seemed like a sweet guy and it didn't bug me that he had won. Either way, I was prepared for a graveyard day dedicated solely to cleaning the store.

"I'll be a gentleman and take the harder job. You can sweep, how about that?" He offered.

I shrugged my shoulders but there was a smile on my face. "Sure, whatever you want, V."

"V?" He cocked his head. "Nicknames already?"

"Sorry," I said. "Old habits. Nicknames for everyone."

"What about me? Don't I get a nickname?" Riley asked.

"I'll probably just end up calling you Rye. Like the bread," I laughed.

"Well... Bread is the best so I guess that's fine. Totally uncreative but, it will do."

"Nah, I think V is much better," Valter joked.

"Isn't it? Who doesn't love a good V?" I asked rhetorically.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Riley said, raising his hands as if that would dismiss him of all responsibility to our borderline inappropriate morning talk. "So guys, keep your heads up for customers. Work on getting the floor nice and clean and overall don't have too much fun, all right? I'm going to set up your payroll accounts so I'll be in the back. You're confident you can work the register and all that?"

Both of us looked at each other and nodded back at Riley.

"Good. If you need me just come and find me in the back. I'll check up on you periodically but try to give it a go on your own. You guys seem pretty capable. Cleaning supplies are in the closet beside the staff bathroom."

The three of us disbanded to set off on our tasks. I found a large push broom in the supply closet and started sweeping the aisles as best as I could, taking a moment here and there to look at all of the games from all the different generations of consoles. There were so many games that it was overwhelming and more than tempting, to say the least. I could perfectly envision myself spending the majority of my paychecks just filling up my collections even though I didn't have the room for it in my apartment.

"You missed a spot," I heard Valter say from behind me.

When I turned around he was smirking at me and resting his chin on clasped hands at the top of the mop handle. I knew by the way he grinned that he was just trying to pull my strings. It had been a quiet day and I had started to feel a little awkward since there were no customers and the music playing was too low to make out any words.

"Be my guest," I offered him the broom but he held up one finger and wagged it at me.

"Ah, ah. I mop, you sweep. That was the deal."

"Well if you can do so much better than me, go ahead," I bantered with him.

"I'm just kidding. You did a fine job. Now if you would be so kind as to get out of my way so I can mop this bitch, that'd be great."

The way he pronounced words was endearingly tinted with his Swedish accent and I wanted to ask him more questions about his background but I didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable prying. I resorted to smiling and allowing him to pass me so he could start his portion of our joint task.

When the first customer of the day came in through the front door I greeted him with a smile. He stared at me for longer than what was casual and stopped in front of me.

"You new here?" He asked.

"Yeah. My second day on the job."

"That explains why I don't know you," he replied with an uppity tone that told me he was probably a regular customer and was used to being served by certain people.

"I'm Nix. Now you know me," I said with a smile.

"Can you look up to see if you have a certain game?" The customer requested, unmoved by my attempt at friendliness.

"Sure."

That's how it was for most of the week. I would show up to work every day and Valter would already be there talking to Riley. We would have our tasks assigned to us alongside regular supervision of the customers and that was mostly it. The guys joked around a lot and I kept to myself unless my commentary was warranted.

One night at closing, Riley and Valter were chattering and goofing off while I counted the cash register and hung up my cabinet keys. The both of them had formed a buddy-buddy relationship that I had been somewhat left out of. Not that it bothered me all that much since I had gotten used to going home and wasting my free time playing Agents of Carnage. When they both noticed me they straightened up and tossed me glances like they had something to say.

"What's up, guys?" I greeted them.

"You coming to game night, Nix?" Riley asked me.

"Oh, that's tonight? Uh, I don't know. I kind of had plans for later," I lied.

"Cancel them. We're going to Kyle's. He has an insane setup. Like his basement is wall-to-wall screens and he has every system set up to it."

I tossed a glance in Valter's direction and he nodded along with what Riley had to say. "I'm going to be there."

"Oh, now I definitely don't want to go," I teased.

"Well, I for one, think you should come! We'll chalk it up as a team-building exercise. Unpaid, of course," Riley claimed.

"Hm," I pondered. "What are you guys playing?"

"Well we were going to play classic Nintendo tonight but Valter suggested we play Agents of Carnage. You play on all platforms, right?"

I lit up at the mention of my favourite game. The one that I was ranked fifth in the world in. The prospect of blowing the guys away by my nearly unparalleled skills tickled a bone in me that helped to shift my attitude totally.

"I love AOC!" I beamed.

"So, you'll come then?" Riley verified.

"I guess I have to so I can show you boys how it's done!" I accepted.

Valter smiled sincerely and so did Riley.

"Give me your number so I can send you Kyle's address?"

After we exchanged all the information needed, we locked up the store and went our separate ways until reconvention later on that night. I still had my reservations about going to hang out with a bunch of guys in a basement but the temptation to showcase my gaming prowess in front of them was stronger than my need for social isolation.

When I got home I got three text messages in a row from Riley.

It's BYOB by the way but if you don't have anything I'm bringing beer.

Unless you don't like beer. I can bring something else for you?

Or if you don't drink at all that's fine too. I'm not sure!

I gave a light scoff as I read his messages. I wondered if Riley was eager to have me over for game night or if he had different intentions. His concern about bringing drinks for me was a little flag that waved, warning me that an impending crush may have been on the horizon. I texted him back.

I'll be okay. I have some things I can bring. Thanks though, Rye.

At home, I showered and changed into some denim shorts and a plain red tank top to wear underneath a black knit cardigan. I grabbed up a couple of beers that had been inhabiting my fridge for days and put them into a backpack to carry along with me.

My nerves started to get to me as I pulled up in front of the address that Riley had sent to my phone. It was one of those eye-poppingly modern and lavish houses that were tucked away in a new suburb up on a hill. There were half a dozen cars parked out front so I wasn't sure just how many people would be there to participate in game night. I hoped and prayed that I wasn't the only female there.

There was a sign printed in black ink on standard paper that had been taped to the front door that read 'Side Door for Game Night' with a big arrow pointing right. Adjusting the straps on my backpack, I prepared myself to make an awkward entry into a place I had never been before.

Through a door and down a flight of stairs, I descended into a fully finished basement with dark carpet and bright white walls. There was a projector in the middle of the room pointed at a huge white screen and it was split up into eight squares. Two consoles and four controllers were lit up, eight pairs of headsets on the heads of a group of guys of whom I only knew three and even that trio I wouldn't consider good friends of mine. Riley took notice of me and lit up when he saw me at the second to last step clutching the straps of my backpack.

"Hey, Nix is here!" He announced and suddenly sixteen eyes were on me.

Some of them smiled and some of them took long swigs of energy drinks or beers. I tried to smile charmingly but I felt like I was failing because almost nobody gave me much more than a nod of their head. Except for Riley and Valter.

I made my way over to them and Valter took off his headset, letting it rest around his neck. "Hey, Nix. Ready to slaughter some noobs with us on AOC?"

I cocked my head at him after be said that. The way that he uttered those words made me feel strange. I couldn't quite put my finger on why all of a sudden I was having the weirdest sense of déja-vu.

"We're going to set up another console in a second because a couple of people will be here. Then we're going to run a Game Night Battle Royale and the winner takes all."

"What is all?" I asked.

"We do a pool. Everyone throws in twenty bucks. Right now there's one hundred sixty," Kyle explained.

"Soon to be one-eighty if you decide to throw in, Nix. Or I can throw in for you if you don't have the cash on you?" Riley added

When I looked up at the split screens and saw everyone logged into their accounts my eyes were drawn to Valter's screen- the top left-hand square. I felt my gut squirm uncomfortably when I saw his username at the top right of his corner. Vscars.

All at once I felt like I wanted to vomit, scream and piss myself. I looked at the blond who had focused his attention back on the screen without having replaced his headset.

Pussycat... Come play with me!

I swallowed hard and felt my apprehension turn from tolerable to pure anxiety attack in the amount of time it took for me to realize the user I had been playing Agents of Carnage with for the last few weeks was the same guy I was spending nearly every day with at work.

The accent I should have put together right away but it didn't occur to me even once to associate the two.

Aw, come here pussycat. I'll fuck you real gentle, promise.

All of the messages I had received from him were vulgar in nature or just plain rude but when I talked to Valter at work he seemed very nice and even a little shy. I couldn't imagine such obscenities falling from those lips when I looked at his face. He replaced his headset and looked back up on the screen. Some of the guys were in the lobby on the leaderboard and I could see my username in the fifth slot hovering just below Valter's.

"Oh shit, Valter. You dropped to fourth!" Someone pointed at the screen.

Valter's facial expression didn't change much as he shrugged. "I lost a couple times."

"He lost to a girl!"

I felt my face turn red with anticipation of how he was going to react but he didn't say anything until he adjusted his microphone in front of his mouth. "She's actually really good."

"Who? The user in fifth?"

"Yeah. She kicked my ass a couple of times."

"Hey, Nix, you gonna sit down and play or what?" Riley asked me.

"I... Um. I have to go get something from my car. Be right back," I claimed,

Once more, sixteen eyes watched me go back up the stairs and out the side door of the house. I fished my keys out of my pocket to unlock my car. After throwing my backpack into the passenger seat, I got in, closed the door and ran my hands over the material of the steering wheel, feeling all the bumps and rivets from the stitching as I tried to regain my composure. Certainly, I wasn't going back down there. Especially not now. Not after the discovery that the person that had been maliciously flirting with me on AOC was Valter.

I drove home quickly. It was only a ten-minute stint so I had enough time to park, take the elevator up and get into my apartment to catch Valter in the Agents of Carnage lobby. My phone buzzed to life with a message from Riley but I chose to ignore it and instead, put my headset on.

My heart was pounding as I waited. My phone lit up with an incoming call but I ignored it again. I knew I would have to come up with an elaborate lie to cover my ass at work for bailing but I couldn't face Valter knowing that he was the Swedish pain-in-my-ass whose voice was really starting to settle into me like a warm liquid.

I'm going to pound that cunt when I find you hiding, slut.

The only reason he had said that during our sessions was because I had told him that I was going to rip his dick off and use it to fuck his throat with. We had both laughed. Our banter had even become a highlight in some of the multiplayer battle royales we had played together.

My heart did a small dance when an invitation to a multiplayer battle showed up on my screen from Vscars and once I accepted I was put into the waiting room where I could hear everyone in the challenge who were using mics. Riley was in it, Kyle was in it, all those other guys that I didn't know were in and so was Valter.

"Phoenix, good to see you," Valter's voice came through over my headset like he was still in the same room as me, talking directly into my ears.

I stammered at first because I was convinced that if I spoke he would be able to piece together who I was. The chances of him making the connection were slim but I didn't want to risk it. I lowered my voice and replied with an easy, "What's up?"

Some of them were talking and I was sure that nobody had heard me say anything. I could hear Kyle talking about massively nerdy stuff to one of the other guys involving anime and cosplayers and then something transpired that was completely eye-opening to everyone.

"Fuck... I guess Nix isn't coming back?" Riley said.

"Shit... Well... Oh well. Let's just play. She probably got like, her period or something," replied Valter, his cocky gaming persona starting to show through.

"Girls don't just get their periods that suddenly. Maybe she just came down here and realized what a sausage-fest this place is and booked it," somebody else said in the group waiting room.

My mouth dropped open and the longing I had to respond to their outrageous claims was so strong I had to bite my tongue. Although, it was incredibly amusing to hear what they had to say at the same time and I wondered how far it would go.

"Fuck. I was hoping to like... I don't know. Hang out with her?" Riley admitted.

There was a chorus of booing from some of the guys before Valter spoke up, "Dude, I don't think she likes you at all. She's a little above your pay grade if you know what I'm saying."

"No, she's not! She's... She was texting me all night!"

"Then realized the horrible mistake she had made coming here," Valter laughed.

"Man, I don't know. I think I might have to demote myself from manager just so I can date her," Riley said.

"She would never," Valter reiterated. "She's probably one of those hot lesbian girls that are really cool but completely unattainable. Probably has a cute girlfriend too."

"What! She's not a lesbian! Wait... Is she?" Riley asked.

"I don't know, man. I never get the chance to flirt with her because you're always there trying to talk to her."

"You like her too?"

"I'm just playing! Anyway... She would definitely fuck me before you."

"Yeah," somebody else chimed in. "I'd fuck Valter before you. Sorry, Riley. It's the hair. And the lips... Yo, Valter... What are you doing later, cutie?"

"Man, Nix was right. This place is a gay old sausage-fest."

Laughs were shared all around and I felt like I was backed up into a corner being forced to listen to all of these things; the assumptions of my sexuality, how I was a topic of conversation in and out of work and that Valter admitted to wanting to flirt with me. It was all so much information I hardly knew what to do with it.

There was one thing I was absolutely sure of though and that was that I was going to make Valter my bitch in every single way imaginable.

[vintage-miseries]

Team Angry-Stupid-Loudmouth

#squad:  who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

Elrick: E’s friendly with the older crowd. He’s good mates with Wallace and Fredrik, they go to the gym together. He’s also good mates with Lucius and drags the poor old sod out for camping trips.

Luke: Luke can be friends with anyone, its up to the other person to tolerate him. It goes without saying that Colin is his ride or die for life. He also gets on well with Wallace and Fredrik, and has a “working relationship” with Lucius.

Kash: Kash is another individual who could get on with anyone, you just have to be the right sort of person to enjoy his company. Bishop will be his best mate for life, though in any AU in which he comes into contact with people he and Lukan have a good relationship.

microscope:  zoom in -- describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

Elrick: Dude actually has really nice eyes, proper green in good lighting, like sunlight through ferns. He also has fairly soft hair.

Luke: Luke has the ghost of freckles on his nose, though his complexion makes them hard to see. He’s got early laugh lines creeping in at the corner of his eyes and just the faintest tinge of red in his curls.

Kash: Green eyes touched with gold at the center, cat-like and curved. Thin lips that fork into a grin. Wild, fire-colored hair that never seems to be under his control.

fragrance:  what do your OCs smell like?

Elrick: Tobacco, Old Spice, hair product, cedar-scented cologne

Luke: cloves, marijuana, shea butter, warm earth, sunlight warmed clothing

Kash: Rain, sage, oleander, fire-smoke, sea-salted ocean air

photo album:  describe one of your OCs' favorite memories.

Elrick: The first night that Logan came to stay, when he couldn’t stand his parents any longer. They ordered pizza and played nintendo in the loft and they shared that first, clumsy kiss.

Luke: Luke would count any warm, summery memory as a good one. He particularly enjoys the memory of the first summer he spent as Colin’s friend, sitting on a beach in Hastings smoking bowls as the sun set and telling stories over dinner of fish and chips.

Kash: I feel Kash’s life is too long to pick out particular memories, though I feel the time he convinced Bishop to become highway men for a while was probably worth a couple of good laughs, especially given their supernatural capabilities.

wardrobe:  what's your OC(s) style like? 

Elrick: E’s a t-shirts and jeans kind of guy. Every now and then he spices things up with a jacket, but really he can’t be fucked about fashion, and tends to wear what’s most convenient.

Luke: Luke likes a plaid top, coupled with hiking boots, graphic t’s and a beanie. Whatever’s comfiest for an impromptu hike, as he tends to enjoy random walks. He’s less a fan of dodging through underbrush to avoid the cops but in those situations his gear is idyllic as well.

Kash: Kash likes a lot of black. Black jeans/trousers, boots, shirts, and a leather jacket when the weather calls for it. He’ll wear other colours as well, but he’s truly adopted the goth aesthetic, or well - he adopted it about four hundred years ago and never gave it up.

lightning:  who's the most impulsive character? and who is their impulse control?

Elrick: E’s not impulsive unless it comes to jokes. Sometimes he can’t help himself and says something a little risque.

Luke: Luke can be impulsive, often due to his ADD.

Kash: Kash’s middle name is Impulsive, or Brash, or sometimes Just-plain-stupid. He loves to take unnecessary risks for the hell of it, just because he can and because the mayhem is usually worth it. Usually.

ufo:  identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality? 

Elrick: Arrogant - Funny - Hangry - Fuck-knows-Sexuality

Luke: Kind - Excitable - Addict - Asexual

Kash: Rash - Funny - Annoying - Bisexual

love note:  who likes who? crushes? relationships? are they mutual or unrequited?

Elrick: E’s had only a few crushes in his life. He liked Annie, but that fell through when he fell for his boy.

Luke: Luke likes people, but couldn’t be fucked for sex or a relationship, really. He likes a cuddle, and he’d marry Colin for the marital benefits if Colin wanted to, but really he’s just here to have fun.

Kash: Kash’ll fuck anyone he finds interesting, though when it comes to love, well, there’s only one person who he’s ever truly loved, and he has a hard time admitting it.

poison:  vices/bad habits? what are they? how do they affect your OC?

Elrick: Elrick has a substance abuse problem, whether it be alcohol or harder chemicals, he’s always struggled. At the very least, he’s always going to have a slight drinking problem. He also bites his nails.

Luke: Luke doesn’t think it’s possible to be addicted to marijuana - luke is incorrect.

Kash: Kash thrives on mischief and mayhem, and will always go to irritating lengths to make things difficult for other people as well as himself. He’s also a chronic liar and incredibly vain.

compass:  who's the moral compass? in general: what are your OCs' morality like? do they have high morals, or not? are their morals self imposed, or do they base their morals on religion/family/influence of others?

Elrick: E’s generally a nice guy though every once in a while he can experience a moment of anger or aggression, though these are usually righteously-based. His mum taught him to be a good bloke, his brothers and sisters kept him humble.

Luke: Luke is, by society’s standards, technically a criminal. By his own and anyone who knows him he’s a generally stand up guy who goes out of his way to help people.

Kash: Kash can be as sweet as honey when he wants to be, or as cruel and vindictive as possible if it suits him. Being an ancient supernatural creature, perhaps his scale for morals is a tad different from ours, or perhaps not.

track & field:  which (if any) of your OCs are athletic? what sports to they play? which of your OCs would go HARD in P.E.?

Elrick: E’s the kid playing dodgeball to maim. He really enjoyed gym and was always fairly good at it, though he never tried out for teams or made any effort if he wasn’t particularly interested.

Luke: Luke, when he actually attended school, did not really enjoy gym.

Kash: Kash did not, nor has he ever attended a school. He doesn’t know what sports are.

conspiracy theory:  what are your OC's beliefs? are they skeptics or do they believe easily? who acts on blind faith? who needs to see to believe?

Elrick: E will always be a skeptic, he takes after his father in that respect. He’d need to see something in order to believe it real.

Luke: Luke loves a good ghost/ufo/cryptid story. He fully believes in all of them, and absorbs conspiracy media like water

Kash: Kash, who hails from a land of fae-folk, monsters, and supernatural beings, does not believe in aliens but feels ghosts deserve more representation.

spellbook:  are any of your OC(s) supernatural? if so, what are they/what are their abilities?

Elrick: E has been every creature variant under the sun, but never as anything other than a one-off AU. Sorry E, you’re just human.

Luke: Though seperate entities, Luke did spawn from my Hell-spawn Azelgore, a multi-limbed salamander creature from the third circle of hell. He’s also, on occasion, the same looking creature but actually the Loch Ness Monster, so there’s that.

Kash: Kash is the Cat Sìth, a Scottish creature of Myth said to haunt the Highlands. His abilities include taking human form, charming people, foresight by augury, and shared astral projection. He’s also a witch capable of various old world spells and potions.

contact:  how does your OC(s) feel about touch/physical contact? are they affectionate? if so, how do they display affection to others?

Elrick: E’s actually very into physical affection. He enjoys a cuddle, a fuck, whatever. He’s not too touchy with mates, but Logan gets the brunt of his P.D.A.’S

Luke: Luke loves a hug, and doesn’t mind a cuddle every once in a while.

Kash: Kash is very selective about the people he touches. He wouldn’t enjoy just anyone coming in for a cuddle, but loves a touchy romp with Bargheist.

interiors:   describe your OC(s) bedroom/home/or a place they consider "theirs". what's in it? do certain items have a special significance to your OC?

Elrick: Oh man, this boy doesn’t do interior design. Their bedroom is tan, he’s got a mirror, a bed, a dresser, and a tv. He’s got a well worn but comfortable green couch out in the livingroom that he’s particularly fond of. Logan thinks it’s gross.

Luke: Luke’s whole house is his safe space. He’s maxed it out with plants and art. If there’s a free space on the wall it’s only because he’s not bought a frame yet. Or he’s broken one and needs to replace it. It’s a weird, yet beautiful little boho space. He’s also got a hammock indoors so..

Kash: Kash’s abode is a little octagon out on the Cornwall coast. The ceiling is hung with dozens upon dozens of bottles, wind chimes, and assorted peculiarities. He also has a fair collection of bones, antique books, and pretty seashells that he leaves out on display. His reputation as a ‘witch’ in the local town sends him a good bit of business during the summer months, where he hawks his augury skills to unsuspecting humans.

hobby:  what do they love? what captivates them? what are their passions?

Elrick: E loves simple moments, beer shared around a campfire, the breathlessness upon reaching the top of a mountain climb, BBQ’s in the summer, an exhausted cuddle at the end of a long day, shared grins, hard fucks, and falling asleep against one another

Luke: Luke’s passions are laughter, good food, and plants. He loves the smell that comes off of a hundred sun-drenched plants after he waters them, and loves the bloom of flowers that accompanies happy cacti. He loves the bursts of laughter that accompany a smoke-up, and he loves the sleepy giggles of a come-down.

Kash: Kash will always be an enigma, even to himself. His wants and desires are always far more complicated than they seem, and he never makes things easy. He loves starlit walks and abandoned places. He loves sushi and hard spirits, forbidden knowledge and chasing the impossible, magic, and forgotten things.

psyche:  what's their head space like? do they have any mental illnesses? how do they process difficult or emotional situations? what are their coping mechanisms?

Elrick: E’s coping mechanism has always been a good, quiet drink alone. He broods best that way. He gets through difficult situations by being bullheaded and stubborn.

Luke: Luke laughs himself through shit. He copes by either falling through it, or by having a mental breakdown and then realizing it wasn’t that bad afterwards. If all else fails he’ll have a smoke-up and try to ignore the situation.

Kash: Kash will use every bit of magic at his disposal to get around issues, and if that doesn’t work, he’ll pack up and move away for a while. He’s good at running from his problems, and does it fairly often.

chess board:  who is the most logical? or the schemer/planner?

Elrick: E’s not ... he’s stubborn and pessimistic but he’s a natural follower, happy to let someone come up with the plan if he can enforce it. He’s the bodyguard type.

Luke: Luke isn’t so much a schemer as he is just one bad idea away from prison. He’s impulsive sometimes and tends to think of the pros before ever thinking about the cons, and sometimes this gets him in trouble.

Kash: Kash is a bona fide schemer and a dreamer, but not much of a planner. He’ll come up with an idea fair enough, but he never seems to have a back up if shit goes tits up, and it usually seems to.

shooting star:  if your OC(s) could have one wish what would it be?

Elrick: He’d wish himself free of the three years they spent apart, and wish himself clean.

Luke: Luke would wish natural intoxicants were legal the world over, or like, for world peace.

Kash: Honestly? He’d wish himself more powerful tbh.

[shamedelicatessen-blog]

Breath of the Wild’s traversal, and some thoughts on the importance of resistance in moving through game worlds

I don’t like open world games, for the most part. They bore me. I don’t get much out of incredibly broad, puddle-deep sandboxes full of Skinner box-y Content. I understand what they’re trying to do on a high level as far as providing an easily consumed buffet of neat things to see and do in an easily accessible, player-directed form, but I don’t connect with them, per se. They mostly just make me feel like I ought to quit slacking off and get back to work, which is generally not the sort of mood one wishes to elicit with what is at least hypothetically a leisure activity.

This of course means that, before The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild came out, I had my fair share of trepidation as to whether or not I’d be able to connect with it. Structurally, Breath of the Wild takes very clear cues from things, like the Elder Scrolls or Assassin’s Creed series, which I’ve historically bounced off of.

Well, not so much “bounced off of” as “apathetically flopped off of” but the latter is, I think, worse.

I’ve never exactly been The Big Zelda Fan, to be fair. I really like Majora’s Mask and Link’s Awakening, and I appreciate Link to the Past or what have you as a very solid piece of craft, but I don’t feel the same sort of intensely-held Zelda Feelings that a lot of people do. There are a couple skunkworks projects with the Zelda IP attached that I appreciate for the unhinged artsy shit they did, and most of the Zelda games are perfectly acceptable ways to spend time, but I’m not going to rhapsodize about the timeless, perfect beauty of Ocarina of Time and there are some games in this series - say, Twilight Princess, which is just several dozen hours of “remember Ocarina of Time?” - which I don’t get a damn thing out of.

I do really like Breath of the Wild, though, to an extent that surprised me.

It’s not a perfect game by any means - for starters, the inventory/weapon durability systems are an interesting experiment that I don’t regret experiencing, but I would put them firmly in the “failed” bucket and I will not be so sanguine about them if I should ever see them again - but it is something that has addressed a lot of the difficulty I had in connecting to a lot of the games from which it takes its cues, and that’s kind of surprising given just how dubious a lot of Breath of the Wild’s Content is. Korok seeds are the same handful of “puzzles” repeated hundreds of times each; combat is satisfying on a tactile level, but very shallow and easily broken outright with some of the crazier tools the game gives you, like Stasis+ and the Blizzard Rod; some of the shrines are good, but some of them are almost embarrassing in just how rudimentary their puzzles are.

But none of that is really what Breath of the Wild is “about,” per se. Playing Breath of the Wild, I mostly found shrines, Korok seeds, etc. to just sort of be there. They’re objects in hard-to-reach places which provide you with goals to shoot for. Ultimately, the reason they work is because it’s an absolute joy to move Link through Breath of the Wild’s world. The carrot at the end of the stick could be anything at all, really! The thing Breath of the Wild does to make playing an open world game actually interesting is that it makes the acts of exploration and of moving through the world themselves interesting, fun things to do.

I guess it’s not too surprising that Nintendo could do that, given that they are ultimately the house Mario built. Their flagship series is defined by its singular focus on ensuring that the simple act of moving Mario around a space is joyous. I think it’s stiil worth talking about the way movement works in Breath of the Wild, though; while there’s a commonality in the shared focus on ensuring that the games’ basic verbs are refined enough to constitute a source of “fun” in and of themselves, Breath of the Wild has a very different set of goals compared to any Mario game (even Super Mario Odyssey) and Link’s movement is very very different, in accordance with that fact.

The core of movement in Breath of the Wild is of course climbing, which is a phenomenal system because it’s able to use a very basic set of inputs (analog stick, jump button, let go button) to create a really expansive possibility space that requires players look at the surfaces they’re trying to scale and think critically about the world around them. Link can cling to walls; he can climb along them in the direction he’s holding the stick; he drains stamina at a constant rate while climbing, but his speed is a function of the angle of the surface he’s scaling; he can jump in any direction along the surface of the wall, trading a big chunk of stamina for a burst of speed and (potentially) enabling him to jump over gaps in a surface; he can let go at any time, and depending on the angle of the surface, will either transition into freefall (and gain the ability to pull out the hang glider) or find a footing on the surface he was climbing and transition into grounded movement.

This also entwines pretty deeply with grounded movement, (and specifically the way grounded movement works on slopes) which is another set of really basic verbs that nonetheless create a lot of discrete possibilities. Link can stand on things. He can walk. If he’s on a slope that’s too steep, he’ll slip and fall, but he can avoid doing that by walking into the angle. He can also burn stamina to run, which is of course faster, and he’ll be able to remain standing while running up certain steeper slopes where he would slip if only walking.

All of these things combine to force you to engage with the world you’re navigating in a really satisfying way, though!

Since the specific angles of the surfaces you’re climbing matter, you’re encouraged to look at and reason about geometry. You can summit basically any object you want, but that object will resist you. If you just hold up on the stick you’ll run out of stamina, fall off, and probably die. Instead, Breath of the Wild requires players to read walls - to view a mountain as a series of interconnected rock faces at more and less advantageous angles and to chart an efficient course up that mountain based on their understanding of Link’s physics and their own abilities. Early on, it can be difficult to get up a lot of surfaces at all, but once you understand exactly how Link’s movement works, it’s possible to climb whatever you want in a way that’s not just fast, but stylish, running and jumping up surfaces, edging your stamina consumption, and just making it to places where you can slow down for a second to recover stamina and continue your ascent.

This is neat as hell, because it solves a common problem with traversal in open world games, which is that the scenery is… mostly just scenery. You don’t really need to engage with it; you just watch it go past while you’re moving from one piece of Content to the next. Breath of the Wild works so well because it instead locates the “meat” of gameplay in the act of moving from place to place - basic movement is incredibly satisfying and expressive, and by requiring players to reason about the physical structure of the world around them, Breath of the Wild is able to lend impressive amounts of character to its locales above and beyond that provided by its (stellar, it should be said) art direction, while also using more or less difficult climbs to soft-gate more challenging areas of the game world without rendering them truly inaccessible.

You can make your way into the Gerudo Desert as soon as you finish the tutorial, if you understand the game’s mechanics well enough - but most new players won’t do that because of a combination of the pair of Lynels scaring them away from the road into the canyon with the merciless, steep climbs surrounding the Gerudo regions of the map. This is neat, because it creates a lot of exciting moments where you’re able to realize how to reach places that’ve actually always been completely open to you, simply by becoming more confident in your skills and more aware of the way Link moves. It sorta brings the way Super Metroid handled “hidden” movement options like the wall jump to mind - which is never going to be a bad thing.

Anyway, uh, this has been kind of disorganized and rambly, but I do really like how Breath of the Wild handles movement and the way that interacts with the structure of an open-world game, so I wanted to try to articulate that. Sorry! Thanks for your time.