#Art Fight begins on July 2nd for me so..
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God Folly and Moore makes me so so fucking happy. Like you have no idea how these two will just make the world a lot bearable.
And listen, listen. I am not expecting much BUT. If I get ONE FollMoore attack on Art Fight, I would run around my fucking house. I will run around SCREAMING. Like that'll make me the happiest person on planet Earth.
#💬 meera is typing...#❤️ FollMoore 💜#Can you tell I am very excited for Art Fight? I'm literally shaking just aching to begin#Art Fight begins on July 2nd for me so..#...I must bear Monday July 1st until it ends bwaaaaa
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About Atlanta's scene, Tashi is drinking at 3 am while watching how Anna Mueller won Wimbledon this year and was being successful, but that literally happened that same month; the Wimbledon final was on July 2nd of 2011 and the Atlanta Open began on July 18th, so it's recent. The TV commentators are talking about how she is having an excellent season with no female player right now that can stop her. If Art is a favorite to win The Us Open, Anna must be too.
For Tashi, she must have been the one winning grand slams, the one stopping Anna—not like the commentators say, but she can't play. For me ,watching Anna win, I believe her first Wimbledon and grand slam, must have caused Tashi the strongest feelings of grief about losing her career since she knew she couldn't play anymore, especially because she tried to maintain composure and be strong for years.
Also at Applebee's, Tashi told Art that he was a great server (130 mph) but that he could be better (135 mph). Tashi is an excellent coach because she knows what adjustments Art needs to make to reach his potential, and they accomplished it. Less than a year later, the TV commentator says it: Art had an excellent serve last year around 130, but now it is 135–140. Changes like this are the reason that Art went from being a good player to a great player—the ones that won Grand Slams.
Tashi is seeing Art and Mueller begin to have the life she dreamt of and was working hard for since she was a child, and although she is also an important part of Art's success, it isn't something that is necessarily always recognized or mentioned, and in the end, the most important thing is that she isn't the one playing
I have always thought that a romance with Art would be complicate things if she just wanted to have a tennis coaching career. Tashi literally mentioned it at Applebee's—that it wasn't necessarily a good idea to coach when there are romantic feelings involved, but they still decided to have a professional and romantic relationship that same night. And although Tashi and Art managed to sell themselves as this tennis power couple, I think Tashi had to fight to be recognized in the tennis world as his coach and not just his girlfriend or wife.
And I don't believe those kind of handmaid's tale theories of Art forcing and manipulating her to marry or have a child. I think maybe in the euphoria or her success as a team they decided to marry, but for Tashi, there is part of her dealing with the fact of completely closing that part of her life when she was known and recognized as Tashi Duncan and the duncanator, that professionally she could never be recognized as that and she would be more recognized for what she would do and build as Tashi Donaldson than what she achieved when she was the duncanator and had a career for just herself, and now everything she does must be connected and depend on Art.
I am not excusing cheating or even believing like many that it doesn't matter because "throuple," Art and Tashi were in a monogamous relationship, and in the movie, all of them showed they cared about what happened in Atlanta, Tashi and Art, even if they tried to ignore it, and Patrick provoked them with it in different ways. But for me, there is a pattern in both scenes when she cheats. She is shown as sad, vulnerable, a woman who loves to be in control of her feelings and her life is losing control of it. There are imminent changes happening in her life and Art's career that she can't necessarily control and that generate conflicting and uncomfortable feelings for her (art success, Art's retirement, Mueller's career consecration, a possible marriage, a possible divorce), moments that push to the forefront the loss of her career and her dependency on Art to have the career she is having now.
The fact she cheats both times in those circumstances,tell us a lot about her feelings and as a character. I think it was her way of trying to regain control and very interesting how Patrick,someone that she is attracted,that she had a relationship but had not clousere in the same way she didn't have closure with her career appearing with her old " I told ya " t-shirt,a reminder or her past when everything was more simple ,when she still had her career and all her dreams.
That is why I would never understand these takes,that instead of watching Tashi as a person who can take horrible decisions that hurt her and others, is this villain that is always just planning and scheming to use the boys attraction for her to manipulate them.
#tashi donaldson#tashi duncan#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig#tashi#zendaya#mike faist#art x tashi#challengers (2024)#challengers 2024
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Hey everyone! I'm Serena - you can call me Ser - and my pronouns are she/her. This is the writeblr for @murderousewpecspredator! I'll mostly be reblogging writing resources, advice, inspiration etc. here. I'll also be posting my original fics and art, plus updates and snippets (and occasional screaming) as I work on my wips, so be on the lookout for that!
My works tend to include:
➼ high fantasy (occasionally dabbling in urban fantasy, dystopia or sci-fi) ➼ traumatized teenagers forming found families ➼ characters all flavors of queer + male-female friendships and queerplatonic relationships!! ➼ sad backstories ➼ hurt/comfort. SO much hurt/comfort. but also eventual happy endings where the characters get to live peacefully :) ➼ at least one character who is stubbornly kind in the face of a cruel world ➼ and hope!!! I love hope
Find me on: ao3 | wattpad
I'm looking for more writing mutuals so feel free to reply if you share similar writing genres/interests, and I'll give you a follow!
(works under cut)
WIPS
𝐵𝐸𝒜𝒮𝒯
In a world where monsters live in the woods - creatures with the ability to shift forms and wield magic - humans and Beasts have been fighting for centuries. One summer morning, Crys Averwell finds a crow-boy in the forest who has had his wings brutally hacked off.
Unfortunately, saving him from bleeding out is the easy part - because hiding the existence of a Beast from Crys's village, and finding a way for said Beast to get home?
That's going to be another story entirely.
𝒪𝓇,
My current wip!! High fantasy series with found families, banter™ and protags who aren't the heroes or the chosen ones but are just really, really unlucky. Also contains,
large casts
the Sarcastic Withdrawn one + the Ray of Sunshine Extroverted one
a Journey
undead creatures
cool magic with runes and potions and spells and Artifacts
Forests. and Mountains. and More Forests
discrimination, eventual rebellion, blowing stuff up
Sad Times
𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈
➢ Crow Wings (2nd draft complete, 3rd draft to be started somewhere in July or August) ➢ Witch's Book (1st draft in progress) ➢ Untitled book 3, 4 and possible 5
series/book 1 intro, book 2 intro
taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-): @deer-in-headlights-stare, @allianaavelinjackson, @arctic-oceans, @space-writes, @reneesbooks
𝒞𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓊𝓅𝓉𝑒𝒹
It's the start of a new school year, and Sakoto Misami's brother has disappeared. Another runaway, people whisper - but Sami knows her brother isn't like that, knows that Irumi would never abandon them.
So when police fail to track him down, she decides to investigate on her own. And the things she finds begin to make her wonder - had she never known her brother after all?
Her questions are promptly answered when, that Friday night, on a deserted train platform, the lights flicker, and something inhuman comes out of the tunnel. Straight for her.
Enter the Swords.
𝒪𝓇,
The half-defined urban fantasy wip I take out to blow dust off of occasionally, because I cannot juggle for the life of me. I do write snippets sometimes though, and I'll properly get into it sometime in the future. Includes,
Cool Swords
spirit companions
a Weird Magic System involving Threads and Needles and Weaving and Fabric. I swear it makes sense I just haven't figured it out yet
subways!!! alleyways!!! parkours and night views and leaping from rooftop to rooftop!!!
traumatized teens, again, and found family, again. But also actual family
qprs!!! heck yeah I love qprs
Yeah that's pretty much it. I have a handful of other ideas I may mention once in a blue moon, but they're sitting on the backburner for now since I'm only able to focus on one project at a time. I also dabble in fanfic, and might occasionally post a short story or a poem, but that's all gotten to be pretty rare.
I'll make proper pages in a while, but until then feel free to poke around in the main tags! The gen tags are #beast and #corrupted, while official tags are #wip: beast and #wip: corrupted (though the last one is largely empty).
See you around!
-Ser
#pinned#my posts#intro#writeblr#writing#oh wow this sure got long#whoops#beast#corrupted#wip: beast#wip: corrupted
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HOLY MF SHIT-
Finally! I was able to successfully finished reading this theory. Fr it was sucha long ass one and I wasn't sure whether I could be able to finish it. Therefore, I'll try my best to shorten everything I wanted to say or maybe not
I actually loved the idea of someone tackling the smallest yet essential topic such as Nickname(s). It have always been obvious that it plays a major part in our life. We also tend to give ourselves one or a few. Just like a human with different sides + persona, nicknames function the same way. In fact, it is like a switch button to adjust our entire personality according to our surroundings, mostly probably the case.
I made a tweet that touched the same topic last July. To simplify, nickname is a "mask" that covers the real identity of ourselves, thus its existence itself is not real.
Manjiro is a real human while Mikey is a persona. He first created it because he overheard Shinichiro’s conversation with their grandpa and he talked about making Emma happy, so he decided to have a nickname just to make Emma feel comfortable. Since then, “Mikey” has become a safe place for her.
Skipped thru the amazing analysis towards Mikey and everything, however, just like any other TR fans who read the theory, I also unable to agree with the theorist regarding Shinichiro. Let me reassure you guys that Shinichiro is not a real person, therefore spamming OP with negativism and slanders thru DM/ask is an absolute childish and immature. If you wish to express disagreement, please do it with manners.
This could be a collective agreement that the only thing in the manga canon where we become so frustrated and impatient is the way we lack of Shin’s POVs. Similar to what OP mentioned in the theory, we only saw a glimpse of him and his little background story, but the fact that he even appeared in some of the character’s POVs proved that he was more than just a huge influence. There is no POV that were stated or shown in the manga depicted him as a bad guy. Not even once, and yes we all could collectively agree that he is not a perfect brother and he will never be. Why? Just like the question itself, “He’s a good guy but leading a gang?” Well, that’s nothing new. We have a whole dumb, pathetic but kindhearted dude named Takemichi as the ONLY parallel to Shinichiro, just like some of the characters claimed him to be. Takemichi even made it this far as Toman’s 2nd Gen President. Their characterization were explicitly made to be both weak at fight and love, but executing a strong aura of leadership and “never-give-up” attitude, so that should be enough evidences already. Let’s say Shin really was a bad guy, why he was in Mikey’s mind when he’s about to jump off the building? If he’s the type to make a character’s whole existence feels shitty or unimportant, that would have been obvious in the beginning but he didn’t. Wakui would have hinted any displeased expressions or reactions on any characters that have a close relationship with him, but he didn’t. Characters that mentioned his name always has a connotation of respect towards him and that’s because he’s a prominent delinquent and the most respected figure back in his days, until now he was still a very impactful character for some others, for example: Inupi.
Mikey, Draken, Baji, Emma, Inupi, even Izana, as one of the antagonists in the manga series, adored him dearly. Such theory are not sitting right with me but I still do respect OP’s efforts for other amazing analysis. I’d like to add some more regarding Shin; There are multiple official arts from Wakui himself that whenever he drew him, he often showed Shin’s soft side with his siblings. There is no single hidden hint towards anything creepy or mysterious at him. Wakui might be intending to save the best for last so let’s hope that we’ll get Mikey’s POVs. who knows we could see more of Shin in it?
There are another two POVs we’re looking forward; Haruchiyo and Hanma’s. Hopefully we’ll get them all since theirs are important too.
#well i hope i have said it enough#too busy with stuffs till i’m afraid i wouldn’t be able to post it#i’m sorry i couldn’t provide much but i’ve done what i wished to#tokyo revengers#tr#tokyorev#tokrev#tokyo revengers theory#shinichiro#sano shinichiro#shinichiro sano#tr 241#tr 243#tr spoilers#tokyo revengers spoilers
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LT2 masterpost
If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.
Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.
I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.
Possible tracks:
Copy of a Copy of a Copy
Change
Faith in the future??
369??
Possible names:
369
Faith in the future
When is the album coming out?
Your guess is as good as mine
Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?
Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.
Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).
The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.
2020
He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.
(x)(x)(x)
Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.
May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.
Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…
Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:
Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.
Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^
And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:
(x)
He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)
And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.
(x)
He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).
COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!
These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.
I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).
So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.
---End of the Intermission---
Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)
It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!
He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)
(x)
Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.
2021
Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!
15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥
(x)
(x)
So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.
“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.
He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!
Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.
On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:
He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.
(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.
(x)
…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).
On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!
On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)
Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.
On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).
Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.
(x) And the second mention to 369.
(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".
On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.
Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.
Into May’ 21 we go.
He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).
He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.
I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.
I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.
Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.
Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.
He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.
June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.
(x)
This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.
He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.
During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.
On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.
He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!
I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.
Let’s talk Change!
On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.
(x)
And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.
We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.
On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.
(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.
So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).
Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).
On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.
And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.
On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.
“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.
“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.
“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.
And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.
So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.
#LT2#Louis Tomlinson#Faith in The future#369#Louis#LT#new music#idk what this is#but it's long#pinned
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Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List
well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to. (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.)
And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!
If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)
November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1
The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)
Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)
Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)
Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)
Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)
DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)
Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)
Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)
Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)
Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)
Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)
Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)
2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)
Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)
Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)
Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)
Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)
Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)
Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)
The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)
Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)
The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)
Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)
Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)
Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)
We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)
All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)
Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)
Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)
Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)
The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)
Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)
This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)
Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)
The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)
Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)
Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)
2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)
Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)
Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)
The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)
Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)
We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)
The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)
Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)
Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)
Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)
God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)
3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)
The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)
Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)
Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)
We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)
We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)
The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)
Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)
Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)
A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)
Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)
Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)
10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)
Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)
Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)
Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)
Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)
Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)
The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)
Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)
Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)
DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)
Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)
Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)
How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)
Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)
The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)
We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)
We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)
Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)
Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)
Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)
The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)
We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)
Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)
Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)
We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)
Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)
Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)
Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)
The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)
Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)
The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)
We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)
Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)
BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)
The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)
Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)
Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)
We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)
Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)
Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)
1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)
Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)
Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)
We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)
Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)
The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)
We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)
Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)
7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)
Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)
Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)
Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)
Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)
The Wubble (Aug. 7th)
How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)
Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)
This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)
Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)
This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)
This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)
Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)
We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)
Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)
Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)
Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)
How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)
Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)
Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)
Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)
Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)
How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)
Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)
DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)
Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)
We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)
Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)
Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)
We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)
Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)
Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)
Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)
We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)
Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)
2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)
We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)
DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)
Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)
DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)
We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)
We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)
DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)
Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)
Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)
2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)
Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)
The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)
The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)
Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)
2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)
Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)
Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)
2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test (Sep. 6th)
Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)
Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)
The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)
We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)
Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)
Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)
We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)
1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)
We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)
We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)
We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)
You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)
Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)
Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)
Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)
Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)
Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)
Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)
How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)
Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)
Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)
Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)
Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)
Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)
Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)
Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)
Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)
How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)
Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)
Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)
Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)
This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)
This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)
Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)
Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)
Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)
Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)
We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)
Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)
Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)
The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)
BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)
Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)
Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)
Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)
Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)
Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)
The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)
We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)
Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)
Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)
Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)
Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)
Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)
Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)
This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)
A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)
Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)
Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)
Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)
DIY Wine (May 30th)
2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)
DIY Boob (May 24th)
Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)
10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)
Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)
Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)
Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)
What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)
Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)
Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)
The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)
DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)
Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)
Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)
We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)
Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)
Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)
Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)
An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)
Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)
Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)
The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)
Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)
There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)
Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)
5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)
What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)
Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)
Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)
Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)
Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)
We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)
We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)
Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)
Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)
We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)
Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)
Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)
How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)
Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)
Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)
DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)
The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)
We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)
2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)
Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)
Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)
Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)
Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)
We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)
We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)
The Good Kind of Cupping (Nov. 19th)
Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)
Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)
Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)
Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)
We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)
Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)
Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)
Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)
Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)
Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)
Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)
Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)
The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)
REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)
Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)
Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)
Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)
Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)
Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)
We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)
Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)
Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)
You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)
Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)
The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)
Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)
Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)
Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)
We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)
We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)
Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)
The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)
The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)
Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)
Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)
DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)
Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)
We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)
Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)
This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)
Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)
Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)
Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)
We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)
Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)
Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)
Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)
Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)
Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)
Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)
We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)
2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)
This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)
Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)
You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)
Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)
Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)
Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)
Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)
Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)
An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)
Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)
How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)
Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)
We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)
Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)
Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)
What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)
Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)
An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)
Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)
The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)
What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)
Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)
What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)
5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)
Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)
How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)
Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)
Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)
The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)
We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)
Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)
We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)
How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)
There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)
Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)
The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)
#unus annus#unus annus ranked#the og list took me three days to compile please appreciate this#markiplier#crankgameplays#unus#annus
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TIMELINE OF PAST AND CURRENT EVENTS
Some dates are inaccurate from the posted date and some don’t have dates, BUT I’ll be changing dates around just to fit her story a bit better and hopefully make sure things are more easier to understand. If I’ve forgotten to add any importantance between your muse and mine, please shoot me an IM!
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Arrived in Isola on January 24th, 2021.
Upon arrival these are things that Ismael has gone through
On her first day arriving, Spirale was covered in sheets of snow with diamond creatures and diamond anything that would block the way.
She was rescued by someone from those diamond yetis!
She found out that you can actually break diamond with diamond, and also FOUND KYRIE!
On January 26th, 2021
Curious about the hole, she decides to revisit it.
This is where she meets the unpleasantries of the shadowy figure. She never got his name, BUT that shadowy figure looking thing is the cause of her first death. He pushed her into the hole. to this day, no one knows. To this day, Kyrie does not know that Ismael has a tiny fear of heights now.
{CAN’T FIND DATE} Was hired to work at Lovelyloaves by Mizi
On February 21st, 2021 she joined Big Dipper Talent!
Ismael has met and befriended plenty of people!
On April 1st, 2021
Game time? It’s weird and Ismael still doesn’t entirely understand what was going on, but it was fun. On her birthday, as part of the game, Ismael and Kyrie went diving....from the sky. Certainly a big step in that little fear of her’s!
She got a present afterwards! She hasn’t taken them off since!
She met someone shortly after. Nero.
He’s looking for a way out, and despite hearing that it is impossible he seems extremely hellbent in returning home. Says he’s got someone waiting for him. Someone waiting for him shares the same name as her friend Kyrie. WHAT are the odds, huh! She has been searching for answers since to help aid him in this quest.
On April 6-20, 2021
On her way in search for parts for Nero, she decides to expand her searching by going to Yesteryear, attempt at Mistwood, and going through Fibonacci’s Shadier sides.
April 6 - In Yesteryear, she didn’t find anything, but instead met a man with a strange looking bird. Is it a crow or a raven? She still doesn’t know, but she’s beginning to think the bird is....pretty cool.
April 10 - In Mistwood she didn’t even go in to check it out. This place will have to wait until she’s either with someone who can get them out in a pinch or just...when she feels she’s ready. Badou says there’s Deatheater? Deadeaters? Whatever the fuck. She’s not about to be eaten by no eatereaters.
April 18 (Afternoon close to Eveningish) - Ismael tells Nero she wants to fight alongside him when he brings up that he might actually have to change his plan a bit. Says he’ll have to face the Stars first in order to prevent being brought back here. He won’t let her fight and that upsets her. They have a small argument about it. She’ll have to check up on him. Make sure he got home safe and make sure he’s okay.
April 18 (Nighttime) - Ismael miscalculated the time and got overly cocky. If that’s what you can call it. She got stuck in the crowd and was rescued by a rather tall and scary man. He showed kindness, despite her screaming and lashing out because of fear. Same man decided to show her who he truly is by taking her to some building.
IN an attempt to save the three men that were unlucky enough to meet Yamazaki in the same building for some shady business???? Ismael may have failed and may have actually been the result in them dying.
During the time she is captured and held captive, forced to watch whatever unfolds before her eyes with Yamazaki and these poor unfortunate men, Nero sends in a text about finding someone who is willing to make his arm. She’s unable to get to the message until 2 days after in the evening.
On April 21st, 2021
She finally steps out of her lone house to finally go grocery shopping that she’s been trying to avoid for the past couple of days since she got back from that night. A lot of stuff that she’d suppose to get done neglected.
In her attempt to be quick, in and out of grocery store, she meets Grimm. Someone she’s spent a lot of time with talking about music, playing, and listening. .....If Grimm can see that something is wrong.... She’s really going to have to avoid seeing everyone else.
On April 24th, 2021
It’s proving difficult to be at the house, let alone just the ward entirely. She used to actually enjoy being in Fibonnaci. Some of the people there are nice, but...Well, now she just wants out. No where is technically safe, but man, she really wants out of Fibonacci.
She’s been crashing at....one of the Branches. Yesteryear is one of them. She’s beenn sleeping outside in her makeshift camp for a little over two days. She will stop by her home to get more supplies and the things she needs, but only then.
She’s more than likely going to check with the Stars. See if they will let her move houses.
She wants to ask the stars to move her, but again, the thought of ‘nowhere is really safe’ lingers at the back of her mind. She can move anywhere in the Wards or branches if that’s the case, but....HE will be there....Even if he isn’t.
On April 27th, 2021
Ismael finally gaining the courage after talking to Dune, decides to text Grimm and Nero.
She tells them what happened that night with Yamazaki. She’s not ready to talk to Kyrie about the event and isn’t quite sure when she will be ready.
Currently she is crashing at Grimm’s. Occasionally will crash at Nero’s, because she doesn’t want to just burden the one. Sometimes, she’ll be outside, in one of the branches. Sometimes she’ll tell the two where she’s going and other times she will not.
Kyrie remains to be in the dark about the whole situation, as through text, Ismael can pretend that everything IS fine to a perfect T.
On April 30th, 2021
She hits V up in hopes that he and his friend would be available to help her with a task. She’s been working on her archery skill and decided that in order to work on the small fear of heights, she’d pick up parkouring. Makes sense, right? Let’s see how this all goes.
On May 1, 2021
Ismael was once again debating on if she should venture into Mistwood or not. Only this time, instead of it being Badou to stop her in her tracks, it is none other than V. Where did he even come from? And will she ever actually check the woods out?
Don’t remember exact date
Ismael’s purchase of her Bow and fire elemental fragmentation were delivered to her. She’s been practicing more often. She also received her hoverboard as well.
On May 2nd, 2021
Ismael has once again come across Yamazaki. This time nothing happened and weirdly enough, it...was as if he was trying to help her get rid of that fear? Too bad he’s extremely unpredictable and what’s done is done. Though, she can’t deny that she hopes that ONE day she can actually look at him without fearing. That one day she can say his name without the memories of what happened...Or even if the memories are still there, she’s able to hold her ground and stay strong.
Until then, she’s practicing. She’s working on bettering herself, strengthen herself both mentally, emotionally, and physically.
She is getting a little better. Still nightmares plague her during the night, but she’s able to talk about what happened. May not be in full details, but it’s enough to understand ‘ah, so that’s what Ismael went through.’
Trying to face her fears is a lot harder than she thought. BUT she’s working on it. She’s hoping that even through fear she will be brave.
And every day, Ismael is reminded that she does have people here who cares for her and her them. It just makes these little horrible moments just a tad bit more bearable. She has so many people to thank!
And yes, this very same day she’s made her way into the woods. It may have been because she wasn’t thinking where she was running until it was too late. Whoops. Here, she’s met Mew. The pink cat that Nero helped.
On May 4th, 2021
Ismael decides to ask Nero a favor. She asks him if he would be okay in going to that building where she had been held captive and check for those bodies that she had left behind.
Nero ended up sent to the hospital when an unexpected turn of event led him and another guy there.
She feels guilt and blames herself for Nero’s injuries.
At the hospital on the same day while waiting for Nero, she meets Yamazaki again.
On May 8th, 2021
Ismael takes Nero’s words to heart from before when he got injured. When they were at the park he had said something along the lines of not holding something from someone. That being honest was more better. She decides to tell Kyrie of the things that she had suffered through.
Ismael is significantly getting better at not just archery, but handling things that has been happening in her life. The nightmares are still there. Sometime she catches herself in tears when she wakes, or a yelp in the middle of her sleep. Still, Ismael is doing her best!
On June 4th, 2021
There was an art museum that Ismael decided to attend to. Upon seeing a portrait, she finds out from Kyrie that the art is Yaira.
That very same day, everything in the museum comes to life and starts attacking people, including there being monsters added onto the chaos.
Ismael does not make it through. She ends up being injured fairly badly and passes away from said injury by the very hands of Yaira (an evil portrait.)
In the moment of her passing, she gets to meet Yaira (The good portrait that Kyrie made.)
On July 10th, 2021
Ismael undergoes a extremely life-changing situation. The stars manages to throw Ismael back into her world but reverse time with Ismael’s memories of Isola intact and was told that she’d remember bits and pieces and the more she continued onward the more memories she’d remember.
With the option to leave at any time, Ismael continued through her memory to the end and found out that Yaira was her sister all along.
Currently Ismael suffers from guilt, anger, self-hate, and so much more. She hasn’t been taking care of herself but still continues on with music, training, and her faith....If only to try and push through.
On July 21st
Ismael decides to contact Kyrie after a few days of just sending them texts to ask them about Yaira. She has a lot of questions and hopes that Kyrie can help her with them. She’s not entirely sure how she’s going to take any information if it turns out that Kyrie knew something and kept it from her.
MORE TO BE ADDED
will be updated accordingly!
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Big Bang 2019
It’s that time of year again!
I’ll be updating and reblogging this at the end of each day, give or take. No postings on weekends. I will also be updating the Honorable Mentions post, which will have switching, ambiguous sex and no penetrative sex stories with Sam/Jared. Please consider leaving a comment if you read any of these stories, as it is the only payment the author ever receives. And, as always, head the warnings where the story is posted.
June 17th - Nothing that fits the criteria (there is one left to post tonight, but it’s getting late here).
June 18th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
June 19th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
June 20th - Nothing that fits the criteria (still waiting for the one that didn’t post the first day).
June 25th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
No posting on weekends. See you on Monday!
June 24th - In the Coils of a Snake by Sanshal on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jared was an undercover cop determined to cut the head off the criminal hierarchy of his city....only question was, would he successfully manage to behead the snake or would the snake swallow him first? (Warning for bottom!Jared purists: he wants to top Jensen and digitally penetrates him once; Jensen doesn’t want to bottom and nothing more happens)
June 25th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
June 26th - Dancing on the Head of a Pin by storyspinner 70 on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU. Dean is an Alpha shrouded in mystery and darkness – quite literally. Sam is a revolutionary forcing change in the world the only way he knows how – with guns and blood and death. Dean makes a living doing what other weres can’t; no questions, no concerns – until a job to kill Sam becomes a drive to protect his mate instead. After a brutal betrayal, he finds his mate tortured but alive and takes him to a pack he sees only in Sam’s mind. Pack politics, an age old prophecy and magic Dean has no business wielding breed fear and cowardice that spreads from the forests to the pack lands. Sam and Dean hold their own against the fear and hatred from their pasts, but dealing with their own unusual mating and Sam’s need for something only Dean can give him lead them into a battle both are determined to win. (art by me).
June 27th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
June 28th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
No posting on weekends. See you on Monday!
July 1st - Black Velocities and Shining Movements by dimeliora on Ao3. Sam/Dean. WIncest. Set in Season 2, Sam has sustained a terrible injury trying to protect his brother. He finds himself in a tiny, idyllic village being cared for by Dean. Unsure if his paranoia is wholly justified or the result of brain damage, Sam finds himself fighting not only to recover but to understand what is unfolding around him. (warning: vaguely implied switching when teens)
July 2nd - Into the Great Wide Open by AmyPond45 on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU. A hundred years ago in a dystopian world where monsters have won the West and Sam and Dean were raised not knowing they were brothers, Sam and Dean reunite after a six-year separation and go in search of Dean’s mother through the Colorado Rockies. On the way, they fight monsters, meet an Angel of the Lord, and find gruesome evidence of a lost battle and abandoned human settlements. Eventually, they admit their love for each other, and together they begin to unravel the secrets and mysteries of their world and their place in it. But will their love survive when Sam learns the truth about his birthright?
Also, as this Thursday is a national holiday in the U.S., Wendy only has stories scheduled for today and tomorrow for this week.
Happy 4th of July to those in the U.S. that celebrate it!
July 8th - Another You by Annie46fic on AO3. Sam/Dean. WIncest AU. Dean dies fighting Michael one last time and Sam must let him go; left without his brother and knowing that he can’t bring him back Sam goes into free fall until Castiel persuades him to go on a vacation. While staying in a remote cabin Sam thinks he sees his brother and starts seeing him in other places. Finally he manages to confront what he thinks is a spirit, but this is a real person – a Dean from another dimension – one where Dean and Sam have been bought up differently and one where Dean and Sam are more than brothers. This Dean is searching for his Sammy and Sam agrees to help him…soon he becomes too fond of this alternative Dean and they fall into a relationship that might change Sam’s life forever.
July 9th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
July 10th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
July 11th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
July 10th - Clamor by firesign10 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jared, a 22 year old college student, is eager to be Turned and become a vampire himself, since he's Jensen's mate and true love. Jensen, however, is making him wait. There's still a lot of human things to experience like sunrises, surviving a car accident, a rival dance club opening near Claret, and oh yeah...becoming the pawn in a battle with the new evil vamp in town—the voluptuous and deadly Alaina Huffman.A continuation from Claret and Clarity; this story stands alone, but you may enjoy it more fully if you also read Claret and Clarity. (warning: although this is bottom!Jared, he does digitally penetrate Jensen once in chapter 2 {one sentence}). The earlier stories are bottom!Jared when explicit.
No posting on weekends. See you on Monday for the last week of stories!
July 15th - A Land of Love and Ruin by whispered_story on Ao3. Jared/Jensen/Jeff. J3 AU. After a virus wiped out most of humanity and turned some people into zombies, Jared is trying to get by on his own—until he's saved from zombies by Jeff one day and they set out to travel across the country to Texas together. Jeff makes no secret out of the fact that he's interested in Jared and despite his trust issues, Jared soon gives in to his own attraction to Jeff.But Jeff has someone waiting for him in Texas and even though he insists Jensen is just his best friend, Jared knows his feelings run a lot deeper. He plans to enjoy his relationship with Jeff for as long as he can and then let him go when they get to Texas. But Jeff refuses to give up on them.And then Jared meets Jensen. He expects to be jealous of the bond Jensen shares with Jeff or for Jensen to want Jeff to himself. But Jared gets along with Jensen as easily as he did with Jeff, and he falls for him as hopelessly as he did for Jeff. As a relationship blooms between the three of them, they set out to make a new life for themselves in a changed world. But between finding food and shelter, the approaching colder seasons as summer draws to an end and the threat of zombies as well as other survivors it's not always easy. (implied past top!Jensen/bottom!Jeff)
July 16th - True Beauty is Found Within by lullys on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. It’s a tale as old as time, but not quite as you were told.Jensen has one rule: to only sleep with a person once and never to get attached, he knows better than that, having truly learned his lesson in the past. Jensen knows he’s a heartless asshole, as he’s often called, and honestly doesn’t care. That’s why he’s less than pleased when his neighbor Chad brings an ugly homeless guy to live in the basement of their apartment building.Jared has a good heart, but is cursed when he says ‘no’ to a girl who turns out to be a witch, causing the memories of who he is and his exterior beauty to vanish. Jared is doomed to remain like this unless he finds someone with a cold heart who would fall in love with him before the last petal falls. Jared knows that’s impossible, so he slowly loses hope as the clock ticks.After all, who could ever learn to love a beast?
July 17th - No stories that fit the criteria.
July 18th - Nothing that fits the criteria.
Calling it early tonight. There are still 3 stories missing from earlier in the week and four scheduled for tomorrow and then that will be a wrap for this year.
July 19th - I’ll Worship You Like You Should Be by blackrose_17 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. All his life Jared had wanted a fairy tale romance, he thought he had found that ending with his high school boyfriend and first love Stephen Amell but when he is left at the altar all his dreams come crashing down. The surprises don’t end there when he learns that Stephen not only ran off with Mob Boss Jensen Ackles latest fling but also some of his money Jared’s world is changed again as he finds himself the guest of Jensen until they find Stephen, Colton and the money. Jared never expected that the love he was searching for was with Jensen Ackles of all people.
Please leave comments, support the authors/artists and give Wendy a pat on the back for running this challenge so that we might still have years to come of it!
August 25th - A Fever Dream by brokenlittleboy on Ao3. Sam/Dean. WIncest. Sam should have known it was too good to be true.
#fanfic rec#big bang 2019#bottom!sam#bottom!jared#wincest au#j3 au#alpha!jensen#alpha!jared#a/b/o dynamics#j2 au#top!dean#alpha!dean#alpha!sam#western au#apocalypse au#witch!sam#cowboy!dean#mob boss!jensen#mobster au#big bang
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› [ MICHAEL TREVINO / CIS MALE ] ┊ STEFAN REYES ― This TWENTY-NINE-YEAR-OLD SUPERNATURAL ( WITCH ) is AGAINST the humans. HE has lived in Marion for BORN HERE/ RETURNED FEW MONTHS AGO in the GREENWILLOW APARTMENTS neighborhood, working as a PARAMEDIC. There are no winners in this war, and HE is NOT AT RISK of losing the supernatural war.
↳ BASICS.
FULL NAME: Stefan Reyes
AGE: 29
GENDER & SEXUALITY: Cis male & Pansexual
HEIGHT & WEIGHT: 6′ & 81kg
SPECIES: Witch
GIVEN POWER: Life & Death Manipulation
HOUSING: Currently resides at Greenwillow Apartments, Family home is at Edgewater Orchard.
HOMETOWN: Born and raised at Marion. Moved to New York for a few years before returning in 2019.
OCCUPATION: Paramedic and co-owner of Ambrosia Apothecary
↳ FAMILY.
PARENTS: Alejandro Reyes ( Deceased ) & Leticia Reyes née Hernandez ( Deceased )
SIBLINGS: Maria Reyes ( Deceased )
DAUGHTER: Belle Rose-Reyes
OTHERS: Chloe Reyes - cousin, Leandra Reyes - aunt, Sawyer Rose - Belle’s mother
↳ VIEWS.
WITCHES: He may not openly say that witches as a species are superior to others, but he does believe that. After all they do have powers the other species could only dream of.
WEREWOLVES & VAMPIRES: The abilities of these creatures are something he’s always been interested in and he likes to study their powers and harness it for his own use.
HUNTERS & HUMANS: Don’t really care about what they do as long as they don’t cross his path.
↳ STORY.
Stefan was born and raised in Marion, son of two powerful witches, Alejandro & Leticia, whose ancestry went back centuries. But their magical line didn’t stay all magical -- his mother’s family had a secret which she did not even share with her husband. With one of her ancestors having married and procreated with a human centuries ago against the will of his coven, the witches cursed him in their anger and since then the magical line had been tainted, so to speak -- several of the descendants in the family being born with no magic in their blood at all. It was a secret well-guarded within the family though. These non-magical children were often killed or sent away where nobody knew them, stories fabricated to hide what really happened to them. It was what happened to Leticia’s brother too, which meant that she had a lot on the line when she had children with the power-hungry Alejandro Reyes. When all she wanted was a family, her husband wanted nothing but power and fame, to make a name for themselves in the world -- which he did. And when they had children, they were mere pawns to him, not to be loved but to be used, trophies to bring glory to the family name and carry on his legacy.
As a child, he was cared for very little. And if he had been cared for, he didn’t remember much. Long time ago, he had an older sister. He had been five and she had been twelve. Her name was Maria and there wasn’t much he remembered of her. There were few memories, where she played with him and they laughed. And then he remembered his sister’s screaming, always her screaming. He didn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t know that at twelve the girl still had no magic and his father didn’t want her, not when she seemed like she would grow to be a mere human. It wasn’t long after that Stefan attended the funeral of his mother and sister. A tragic accident, they said, but he knew deep down as he grew up that it was no accident -- it was his father’s doing.
After that it was just him and his father, with no love lost between them, but Stefan chose to keep his home life a secret. He didn’t share with a soul what had happened to the rest of his family and lived his life outside of his home as a different person. An outgoing boy who easily got along with people, but he had a dark secretive side – despite everything, he enjoyed using magic, especially in a manner which hurt others. He may not be able to control his father, but he could control everyone else if he liked. He loved how powerful it made him feel and he didn’t care who he hurt in the process of getting familiar which his powers.
It was when he was sixteen that he figured out what his given power was. He chose not to speak of it to his father, instead working by himself to perfect it. It was the power to play with life and death itself, and many fell victim to his trying to master this new power – and finally when he was twenty, he had perfected it enough for him to resurrect someone who had died many years ago. After perfecting a plan to run away from town, he brought back his sister, but he hadn’t anticipated how much of his strength that piece of magic would consume -- he was too weak to bring his mother back to life too. Stefan knew that his father would be furious when he came to know of him bringing Maria back. And he was bound to lose his sister again if he stayed to get strong enough to bring his mother back too. And so he bid goodbye to his mother and left for New York with just Maria, having no intention of returning to Marion ever again.
New York proved to be a fresh start not just for Maria but for him too. Granted, it was hard to settle at first. He had to drop out of Med school to spend his time taking care of Maria who was only a child, and a mess since her return. But once she began to get better, it was all worth it. It was a while before he could think about his career again -- he considered going back to Med school but that just seemed impractical now and so instead he joined as a student paramedic. Things seemed to move smoothly, and while he always had the fear at the back of his mind that his father would find them, he never did and with time passing, Stefan began to relax.
But his father did come for her one day, and Stefan lost his sister all over again but this time he made sure that his father paid. With his life being turned upside down after the death of Maria last February, Stefan has been doing his best to cope. After the initial few weeks of spiraling, he took to traveling, working at several medical camps overseas. Returning to New York where there were too many memories of Maria was not what he needed and so he instead moved back to Marion, in a attempt to move on from his sister’s death and to rebuild his life again.
↳ PERSONALITY.
Stefan may have been a timid kid at one time, but things were a lot different now. He had learnt early in life that being weak was not an option and while it took him years to fight back with his parents, he always made sure that outwardly he appeared strong to everyone, and then slowly learnt to grow strong himself. He is intelligent, charismatic and charming. His first instinct is always to be civil, if not friendly, with people. There is a very negative side to him too, a side which he learnt from his parents. He often overrides his instinct and can be very manipulative, use people for his own gain and throw them without a second thought. Although this is not something he would ever do to people he cares about. With his friends and loved ones, Stefan is the opposite of strong. He is caring and extremely protective, and would do literally anything for them. It might sometimes escalate to the point where he would do what he thinks is right for them, even if it is against their will. While Stefan does not have many weaknesses, his major weakness happens to be love itself, for he is easily manipulated by people he loves and trusts. With them he would be a pushover, letting them use him even when he knows clearly that he is being used. He has the tendency to get sucked into toxic relationships because of this. His biggest weakness of all had been his sister, keeping her safe and happy had been his biggest priority -- and when she died, Stefan spiraled. It had been months ago but only recently has Stefan come to finally accept her loss and begin to move on. He is hard working and ambitious, and despite his playful and carefree side, when it came to the real deal he is responsible and level-headed.
↳ TIMELINE.
Born: 2nd December 1990
Death of sister and mother: 12th June 1996
Resurrection of sister: 17th October 2010
Moved to New York: 18th October 2010
His daughter Belle’s birth: 11th July 2013
Maria’s killed again & his father’s death: 12th February 2019
Returned to Marion: 24th July 2019
↳ CONNECTIONS.
Baby Mama [ Sawyer Rose ] : Belle’s mother.
Child hood best friend [ open ] : Witch, approximately his age, who shares the same interest as him in magic. They knew each other since they were kids, and despite him not being in town a big chunk of the time, they’d still have kept in touch and would know everything about each other.
Other friends [ open, multiple ] : Any species, level of friendship can be discussed and plotted, I am open to all ideas! Friends he knew in Marion or when he was in New York, or he met during one of his trips abroad.
Connections through his daughter [ open, multiple ] : Belle’s baby sitters, School teachers, maybe witch who help the little girl learn magic. Those who take private classes for dance, art, music, karate etc. Belle is an active kid who wants to be involved in everything and Stefan would be happy to befriend her favourite teachers.
Colleagues [ Marley Evans, open, multiple ] : Other paramedics and EMTs, firefighters, doctors and nurses at the hospital etc.
Exes & flings [ open, multiple ] : It can range from just a one night stand or a long term flings, friends with benefits,enemies with benefits, exes in good terms & bad, I am open to anything here, as wild and dramatic as you want to go.
People who owe him [ Ryder, open, multiple ] : He can get devious with methods to repay him for favours he does for people. He owns an apothecary and can craft just about any spell people may want from him, as long as they are ready to pay his price.
I will think of more, but if there’s anything else you need, I am open to exploring!!
↳ TAGS.
Clever as the devil and twice as pretty ( visage )
They won’t break me but they will fear me ( musings )
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Welcome to 2019
Version 3.0 : Final Version - Wow. February and finally, the 9th is here. All of you my 488 followers can finally enjoy it (372 by the end of 2017). I’ve never been that late to write a sum up but it’s pretty obvious that if it took me so much time to do it, then deep down I didn’t want to do it. Indeed I was about to let that sink in and leave this post with the version 2.0. But I remembered I had one person to honor. And this is what this year 2018 is about : focusion on the good actions and the good people. Because spoiler alert : this year 2018 have been on some other level of shit. More than 2013, 2014 and 2017 combined.
Pic : Plot twist. No more smile. No more bowtie.
Well let’s do some quickmaths : as i said we upgraded from 372 to 488 followers (and roughly 2,241 posts). For the 9th time I have to say that I have mad love for y’all (except fake pr0n blogs, y’all aint shit). For the humans that still follow me : thank you. And I’ll have even more love for the poeple who read this until the end haha. I have to apologize because these last months my tumblr looks pretty much like a mess, between the heartbreaking lyrics, quotes, passive agressive posts than only a few people can understand ... And that’s all because of that one follower I lost (y’all understood it was an euphemism). But to be accurate, I don’t want this post to become another heartbreak post : there are already too much of them on my tumblr. Indeed, it’s one of the main contraints I forced myself to write under. Because “l’art naît de contraintes” (Art rises from contraints) like Van Gogh said. So : not another heartbreak post where I pour my heart out for a girl who won’t even read it (guess I’ve done enough with the Helsinki post). But it’s kinda difficult because this break up is the main reason my 4 last months of 2018 (and on...) have been so so awful and so much things happened because of this. But nevermind I’ll do my best. I’ll do my best because like I said, this post is more about love. This break up surely made me less human, mistrustful, but still, I’m writting because I’ve seen beautiful actions that had to be honored. But we’ll see that later. What other contraints for this 9th sum up ? A young lady I’ve met this year challenged me to write 2 good things for 1 bad that happened to me this year. I’m sorry, I failed ahah. I found more good than bad, but that 2 for 1 ratio was a bit too much ahah. Désolé ma grande ;) And because of this, I had to have a kind of draft for writting, even though I always told myself these sum up needed to be written without drafts, to keep them kinda “natural”. Looks like I’m taking this more and more seriously haha. Well, when I say that this year have been worse than my 3 worst years combined this is not a joke. Have you ever told yourself for example “Wow I left all my stuff in the car, I would be deadly unlucky if someone would break into it and stole everything !” ...Yes, that’s that level of mischance. Because this happened to me btw. And that’s the spirit of this whole year. In “Welcome to 2016″ I remember talking about “mala suerte” ... that was bullshit, 2018 is the real mala suerte. The heartbreak of this year is the worst of my whole life by far, then I’ve been close to what I dreamt of in karate, what I fight for since 2011, had 2 chances to get it this year and I still not got it by a hair’s breadth. Dad got into a crash car, hopefully only the car got wrecked. (so sad it won’t take me again to Andorra haha) People kept on deceiving me. Close friends but also unknowns.
People close to me know how much I cherish friendship. If you’re my friend and you’re not doing well, then I’m already on my way to yours to fix you. No exceptions. Even faster if it’s because of a heartbreak, because heartbroken people should never feel lonely. It’s that simple. SO when I see fuckers I have been there for through ups, downs and heartbreaks and these people are not even able to give it back to me I can’t help being mad. And I don’t act like that in order to make people give that kindness back to me, that’s not the purpose. But I do hate ungratefulness. So, I had to go through a heartbreak again and I saw people disappear again. So that’s enough lines wasted talking about these people. I also have to talk about those who were there. In 2018 I also found an awesome training partner and got closer to her clan. That’s a positive energy I really needed on that 2nd half of 2018. Par ailleurs, tu liras surement jamais ça mais je me permets une parenthèse pour te dire encore une fois Merci Julie pour avoir sauvé ma vie. This kind of old friendship is priceless to me. We can also talk about some young friendship : in march I met someone (almost my best 2018, except I didn’t manage to define an encounter good enough to define it as the best of 2018) who made me go deeper into Tekken, making me getting closer to the Tekken community in Tls. Funny how I always dreamt of this when I was a kid and this is happening. Indeed I’m living the shonen life : I’m in a group (where I met some really lovely people), I’m not the strongest but hell I do what I can to improve and that’s begining to pay even if i won’t forget the 68-0 against sensei, and like in karate I still aim to the top. It’s funny to be inside another competitive world where people don’t have all the values we have in karate. Some of these Tekken people (in the whole country, not only in Toulouse) show off, are mean to each other etc ... And also like in karate, we admire asians for being the best to do it in the whole world. What else ? I became a karate teacher. Took me a bit of time, it wasn’t hard but just took me time and dedication. I still met some great people all along this experience. I made peace with the old pals, vacays together were really incredible. Some of the sweetest days of this year. One of the sweetest day this year was the day I worked hard as hell and went back “home” to the one I love. What a lovely feeling. But I guess we didn’t lived it the same way ... Then, I also had the chance to make a karate lesson in the 1st place I’ve been taught karate !!! This was outstanding because I love to give back to those who gave me, and I love to inspire people. So, it was such a pleasure to tell these kids “I was standing where you are now. I started like you and I’ve been getting stronger and stronger. If I did it you can do it too !!!”. I truly believe some of those kids are about to be deadly strong, hopefully I’ll be done with competition haha. Talking about competition, i sadly lost my title in Andorra by mid June. At the end of the competition, I promised to come back stronger and to revenge but there will be no revenge as this competition will not be repeated in 2019. Indeed, this Andorra 2018 was a great competition and a great trip. A cool trip, great team, great mates, a lot of alcohol, a good hotel room, and love ... so much love. A deadly hangover, but a lot of love. Sadly, there would not have been love again, as 1414 who was my coach for the weekend, my partner on the tatami and in life decided to take a different path from mine. Indeed, I promised to not talk too much about that but this is all the 2nd half of 2018 is about : me trying not to drown because of this heartbreak and it feels like everything is related to that. I got cocky and forgot the 1st and only love lesson my father taught me “nothing lasts forever, mostly in love”. Damn he was right. Even my mother was right for not trusting her at the begining, and God knows she’s never right usually. I won’t even mention what that break up costed me. But as the big bro says : there were no house, no kids, no joined bank account ... Only wasted times and dead dreams now. “La mort d’un rêve” ... it’s still something painful. S. is now a dead dream. I cannot imagine my own flesh meeting some destructive people like the ones I met and going through hard times like I’m going through. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So no more S. and no more L., and it’s a hell of a problem as I’ve always built my life around the fact that I wanted them. And it’s painful because I wanted them with her. Nevermind, no one will ever know “what a great father I could be” as 1414 said. So much dreams. Gone. My 5 brothers took care of me as much as they could and they did amazingly great. I’ll never thank God enough for putting these guys into my life. Hope they know how much I love them. That was sad to see another one of them going back to his motherland but ... what an amazing last evening in Toulouse we spent. I’ll never forget this one.
Still talking about the break up and all the bad that happened this year : tbh I couldn’t draw good lessons from all of these bad things. Really. But like I said, I’ve seen good things coming from good people. So now I need to talk about 27. First of all, 27 was right on so many levels. (yes, I use numbers to not drop real names). Those who know me know that I love to experience, live everything. I would have been better without this heartbreak but still, it taught me new things. I could understand 27 better. When she talked about hell, she wasn’t joking at all. The doubts, the negativity, the hate, self-hate ... I think that’s too much to handle. But still, she still tried to help me when she saw me going through that hell. I couldn‘t thank her enough for this and that must be remembered. This is the whole reason I still wanted to write this sum up, in spite of all the bad things that happened. It was like : a soul lending a hand to another soul. Merci. Je ne l’oublierai jamais, je t’en dois une belle. Et toujours d’une âme à une autre. Tu dis le contraire mais tu as une belle âme et je suis sûr qu’il te reste beaucoup d’amour à donner. Tu as trop à donner à ce monde (en espérant que tu me lises un jour)
Also, I could understand 26 better. [...] And 26 still have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. No transition : Najwa Zebian said that « it’s unfair that new people in my life will have to destroy walls around me they didn’t even built » (btw I love this woman, she also had a big impact on my life through her reflexions) and I can tell she’s right but … trusting people is so hard these days. I really don’t know what to think about this statement. I think I’ve always been picky about who I let close to me and I still got fucked up by my ex-lover, my entourage … It’s all about who to trust, who to let in and who to cut … And it feels like I’ve been making the wrong decisions for years.
It’s starting getting late so let me end up with facts nobody cares. Neutral facts : I discovered lofi this year, my hero academia (FUCKING AWESOME !!!!), Tokyo Ghoul, 7DS, sword art online (great !!), la casa de papel, stranger things, sherlock, IP MAN 3, the good place, misfits, Juice Wrld blew up this year, NAV, Dosseh ... Funny how I discovered some of the saddest love song this year haha. Bad facts : I got injuried a lot. Females still played me a lot. Indeed I realized females are cruel but I still love them. This might be the proof we don’t chose our sexual orientation haha. Then, I couldn’t train properly from Sept to Dec. Oh, I can’t listen anymore to : Nicki, Kehlani, Rihanna or Cardi B. “More life” or “Views from the 6″ are albums I can’t listen to anymore. Well, GOOD FACTS now ! : Got a karate gi from J. (outstanding move), I put the young bloods in high school at Tekken and mangas haha. I met 80′s family and it was like a dream and I’m sure I got luckied in another dimension haha. 80 and 90 are still close to perfection in my eyes. 30 is still 30, with good and bad moods. I’m in peace with the sensei. I also received one of the best gift of my life. I learned that I was able to train by myself thanks to my power of mind ! To finish, I saw that I was able to forgive and still give love, even if it was pointless and too late.
Well, 2019 has already started and this will sure be a hell of a ride (January was ... special) as now I’m like on some quicksand shit. Let’s go ! And let’s not forget those 2018 that marked this year and I’ll surely be listening to in a decade (you need to know that I still listen to all the songs in the previous sum ups !). Enjoy :)
2018 Playlist
Dvsn - The morning after
Youv Dee - Opening
Tory Lanez - 48 floors
Roy Woods - Instinct feat MadeInTYO
XXXTENTACION - SAD!
Damso - Smog X Kyle - Ikuyo
Dosseh - Cœur de pirate X Guordan Banks - Keep you in mind
Marwa Loud - Je voulais (feat Laguardia)
Bazzi - Honest X Omar Kadir - The last thing I do
Oboy - Nuit X NAV - What I need
The Magician - Love break feat Hamza
Dinos - Les pleurs du mal
⚡ Dinos - Helsinki X Logic - The Glorious Five X Laylow - Digitalova ⚡
(Albums :6lack - East Atlanta love letter X Juice WRLD & Future - Wrld on drugs X Tory Lanez - Love me now & memories don’t die)
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Nine Day Novena in Honor of Saint John Marie Vianney Feast Day: August 8th (Latin calendar) Novena July 30th through August 7th ________
O Saint John Vianney, Patron of Priests, Pray for Us and for all Priests! ________
Day One...July 30th: Ardent Faith
Saint John Marie Baptist Vianney you were born of a deeply religious mother; from her you received the Holy Faith; you learned to love God and to pray. At a young age, you were seen kneeling in the front of the statue of Mary. Your soul was supernaturally carried towards the things on High. Despite the high cost, you answered your vocation! Against many obstacles and contradictions, you had to fight and suffer to become the perfect priest which you were. But your deep spirit of faith supported you in all these battles. O Great Saint you know the desire of my soul; I would like to serve God better; from Him I have received so many good things, For this, obtain for me more courage and especially the depth of faith. Many of my thoughts, words, and actions are useless for my sanctification and for my salvation, because this supernatural spirit does not stir up my life. Help me to be better in the future. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father - [Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.],
Hail Mary - [Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.],
Glory Be - [Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.]. _________________________________
Day Two...July 31st: Complete Trust in God
Saint John Marie Baptist Vianney, what confidence the people had in your prayers! You could not leave your old rectory or your humble church without being surrounded by imploring souls, who appealed to you as they would have appealed to Jesus Himself during His earthly life. And you, O good Saint, gave them hope by your words, which were full of love for God. You, who had always counted entirely on the heart of God, obtain for me a deep filial trust in His Providence. As the hope of divine goods fills my heart, give me courage and help me to always obey the Commandments of God. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day Three... August 1st: True Love of Neighbor
Saint John Marie Baptist Vianney because of your love of God you showed great charity towards your neighbor. You could not preach on the Love of God without burning tears of love. During your last years, it seemed as though you could not talk about anything else or live for anything else. Thus you sacrificed yourself to your neighbor by consoling, absolving and sanctifying them to the limits of your strength. Your charity inspires me to greater love of God, a love which is shown more by acts then by words. Help me to love my neighbor generously as Christ loves them. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day Four... August 2nd: Horror of Sin
Saint John Mary Baptist Vianney, you were so adamant against sin, yet so sympathetic and so ready to welcome the sinner. I come to you today as if you were still alive, as if I were kneeling at your feet and you could hear me. Bend towards me, listen to the repentant confidence for the weaknesses and miserable deeds of mine. Priest of the Lord, inexhaustible Confessor, obtain for me the horror for sin. You wanted us First to avoid the occasion of sin. I want to take your advice and make the resolution to break bad habits and to avoid the dangerous occasions of sin. Help me today to examine my conscience. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day Five... August 3rd: Confessor of Souls
O Holy Priest of Ars, you knew how important was a good confession for the Christian life. It was to procure the happy fruits of millions of souls that you agreed to be in an uncomfortable confessional, which was like a prison, up to 15 to 16 hours on certain days. I will try to develop the habit of frequent confession, to prepare properly each time and to have always regret for my sins, so that the grace of final perseverance but also the sanctification of my soul will be assured. Ask this grace for me. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day 6...August 4th: Real Presence
O Holy Priest of Ars, whose only comfort in this world was the real presence of Jesus in the tabernacle, was it not your great joy to distribute the Eucharist to the pilgrims who visited you? You refused Communion to the souls who refused to reform but to souls of goodwill you opened wide the doors of the Eucharistic Feast. You, who each day at Holy mass received Holy Communion with great loves, give me some of your fervor. With freedom from mortal sin, obtain for me a sincere desire to profit from receiving Holy Communion. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day 7...August 5th: Dispeller of Satan
O Holy Priest of Ars, the infamous attacks of the devil which you had to suffer and the trials which disheartened you by fatigue would not make you give up the sublime task of converting souls. The devil came to you for many years to disturb your short rest but you won because of mortification and prayers. Powerful protector, you know the tempter's desire to harm my baptized and believing soul. He would have me sin, by rejecting the Holy Sacraments and the life of virtue. But good Saint of Ars dispel from me the traces of the enemy. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day 8...August 6th: Exquisite Purity
O Holy Priest of Ars, a witness of your life made this magnificent praise of you: "We would have taken him for an angel in a mortal body." You so edified others: the modesty and the exquisite purity radiated from your body. With such charm and with such enthusiasm you preached to others about these beautiful virtues which you said resembled the perfume of a vineyard in bloom. Please I beg you to join your entreaties to those of Mary Immaculate and Saint Philomena in order that I guard always, as God asks me, the purity of my heart. You, who have directed so many souls towards the heights of virtue, defend me in temptations and obtain for me the strength to conquer them. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for meduring this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Day 9...August 7th: Desire for Heaven
O Holy Priest of Ars, your precious remains are contained in a magnificent reliquary, the donation from the priests of France. But this earthly glory is only a very pale image of the unspeakable glory which you are enjoying with God. During the time you were on earth, you used to repeat in your dejected hours, "one will rest in the other life." It is done, you are in eternal peace, and eternal happiness. I desire to follow you one day. Until then, I hear you saying to me: "You should work and fight as long as you are in the world." Teach me then to work for the salvation of my soul, to spread the good news and good example and to do good towards those around me in order that I will receive the happiness of the Elect with you. Holy Priest of Ars, I have confidence in your intercession. Pray for me during this novena especially for…
(mention silently your special intentions).
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. (As above) _________________________________
Click below for:
Novena Pamphlet in Honor of Saint John Marie Vianney
https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/a84285_c89e8eb53aaf42c19818d5e7a7916ba5.pdf
All Novena Pamphlets
https://www.pamphletstoinspire.com/novenas
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Meditations in an Emergency
(Ten years I had a cancer scare that triggered a mental health crisis for me. I wrote something about it but never felt like posting in anywhere. As I was getting my 2nd vaccine dose today I remembered what I had written all those years ago and it felt very relevant again, so I’m at long last putting it out there. Maybe you’ll find 2010 Andy relevant too.)
I beat death this week. I looked it in its face, right in the eyes, and told it to go fuck itself. And by “told it to go fuck itself” I mean “sat in my room crippled by fear, crying like a small child”. But in the end I won. Because that’s what winners do. But mostly because, as it turns out, death never cared about me in the first place.
Allow me to explain: Since November I’ve had a dull persistent ache in my side. Since it’s now July and the ache hasn’t gone away I thought it was time to perhaps see a doctor. Long story short I had/have an enlarged spleen and a low white blood cell count bordering on critical. If you google that particular combination of symptoms the possible causes that come back are, well, not good. (Lesson #1: Don’t ever google your medical symptoms). When you combine the things you find on google with a doctor at the Los Angeles Cancer Network ordering a bunch of tests in a serious tone of voice and having a long conversation with you about lymphoma your reaction would probably not be good. Or maybe it would be. But that’s the thing, you don’t really know until you’re faced with the situation. I would’ve thought that I would have handled the situation better than I did. Which is somewhat interesting considering that those close to me would likely describe me charitably as “very neurotic”. But the tough Texan in me always assumed that when faced with adversity I would rise mentally to the challenge. But in this case unfortunately my suspicions that I would have mentally lasted about 10 minutes in an actual crisis were irrevocably confirmed for me. “Needs to work on: mental tenacity, positive thinking” is a note now in ink on my evaluation. But maybe it’s on all of ours. Who truly knows what each other’s lives are. What another person is made of deep inside. All we really know about life is that it’s such a personal and individual experience that it’s ultimately unknowable, and it certainly can’t be fully shared.
You often hear about people divorcing after 30 years claiming they realize, in the end, that they never even knew who each other were. And you hear that and it seems absurd, but also, upon further reflection, a fair summation of the human experience. During the last week or so as I battled (read: ran in terror from) my deepest demons and fears, I was often out in public interacting with people, going through the motions of being a normal human being. And for those not in on the secret I’m sure they bought it. Externally, everything for the most part seemed fine I’m sure. Inside, it was like being underwater – sounds and colors and experiences were all murky and muted. I had a sense of disconnection from the earth. And the longer I stayed there the more I worried I might drown. Anyone who has ever experienced great tragedy or loss I’m sure knows the feeling. And anyone who knows that feeling knows that sad reality of just how isolating life truly is. Life is public, but yet the true experience of it is tragically and inexorably private, and I realized this week just how much time humanity spends hiding in plain sight. The demon is often just on the other side of the door.
And for me, in my life, there’s no bigger demon in my life than the fear of death. Its specter hangs over everything. Not necessarily actively, but always lurking in the background. Because in many ways it’s the only truly justifiable fear. Because it is one of the only things that we’re all guaranteed to experience. Birth and death – the two most primal and essential aspects of life there are. And there’s only one of the two we have yet to personally experience. And only one that we truly will, no matter how indestructible we all may often feel. We hear about tragedies, about deaths, about loss every day, and always think on some level that those things happen to other people. That they wont happen to us. But logistically speaking there’s absolutely no reason why they won’t. We have just about the same odds as anyone else of dying in a car crash. Of contracting cancer. Of being stabbed by person on the street. These things happen to people. Every day they do. Right now today is just a day, but at a moment’s notice, without warning it could suddenly become THE day. That’s the thing about being human – all options at all times are always in play. And what could be scarier than that?
Which is why we don’t spend time really truly deeply thinking about it. I’ve always thumbed my nose at the whole concept of “entertainment”. “Whats the point”, I used to think, “of distracting us from the very serious business of living?” (I’m fun at parties) I loved my entertainment as much if not more than the next person, but I always liked it the closer it came to “art” and the further away it veered from “diversion”. But I get it now. Life is too overwhelming to spend too much time in. We need frequent breaks from it. And sure if my thoughts before were obvious, now they’re just cliché, but this week there was almost no thought more important, no need more pressing. Distraction wasn’t a way out of life, it was the whole point of it. I found that I truly realized how pointless it was to care about who won or lost the game. I watched a movie with Oscar buzz and realized that I couldn’t care less about the very concept of awards shows (heresay I know). But I also realized that there was nothing I wanted more than TO care. To paraphrase the famous Onion headline, I yearned to care about meaningless bullshit again. Maybe distracting ourselves from our lives has become our lives, but like some Mobius strip there’s no way to determine where one ends and the other begins. Maybe the chicken and the egg both came together. Maybe the little things and the big things are one and the same. All I know is when faced with my mortality I didn’t regret not creating great works of art. I didn’t want to fight for life so that I could write the great American novel. I wanted more than anything to sit with my friends eating ice cream. My deepest wish was just to be normal. Just to care about who won the game. Just to experience random meaningless moments without being burdened with such a deep insight into the tragedy of life and the nature of existence. I saw a dog happily lapping up water from a puddle and I thought “that dog may sleep 20 hours a day and sniff its own shit, but at least it doesn’t spend weeks of its life contemplating its mortality.” “Fuck you dog” I thought “you have no idea how good you have it.” None of us do. But maybe now I do little bit more?
Oh, and as I mentioned up top, it turns out that I’m fine by the way. It was much ado about nothing. But also about everything. No one knows why I had the symptoms I had, but then do we ever? In the end though, ultimately, death was never even remotely looking in my direction. Apparently it doesn’t give a shit about me.
And I think it might finally be time to return the favor.
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With xenoblade 2 probably the last game I buy this year. I can confirm that 2017 is the greatest year for a nintendo fan. On les than 9 month I played more than 11 physical games and some digital only games.
March was the month of the beginning of the nintendo switch. Playing 1-2-switch with curious friends and family and having fun.
Meanwhile showing how powerfull it is with playing zelda in handheld modus and playing 100 hours in it doing everything except saving zelda.
For variation saving a bizarre worlds by playing with blocks and slime in puyo puyo tetris with great art and a funny story mode. The amount of laughters I did were more than the great scala of playable characters.
After that it was serious buisness in may with mario kart 8 deluxe getting all 3-stars in all modes and participating in a tournement sponsered by our local gamestore with 50 entrees. Only to be second and losing to someone who only owns the Wii U one. *Ouch*
Extending the competitive scene was arms with a fighting game only nintendo kan make. First time playing and instantly choosing max difficulty made it a though game. Only played for a month though. Because i took aim for the next release
July it was all about ink and sauces in Splatoon 2 with new stages new hosts and new story. Up beat music with our favorite cartoony sea creature and we forget this is a post apocalypse shooter.
August was the game that surprised me the most with Mario+Rabbids kingdom battle. The tactical strategy game I love to play with the Mario world including Rabbids is an bizarre combination that worked amazingly good. Most memorable moment was the roast of Mario by the phantom of the bwerphra. Shame on me still need to complete the 2nd part of the last world. In September I bought Pokkén Tournement DX loved it on the Wii U. Unfortunately I didn’t play it because of school and the next game took all of the spare I have to play. Someday I will reclaim mine throne of best Belgian player.
Fire emblem warriors came luckily out on the moment of vacation so I could play it out in a week. A mouso fire emblem game is a dream that come true. I loved it only complain I had was the focus on awakening and fates. I want to berserk with Hactor dammit.
It only took a week and the next great game came out. For months I got the poppy song Of Jump Up Super star in my head. The game was amazing throwing caps, possessing enemy’s and pressing buttons so that you can jump as far as possible. I really liked the worlds except the cooking one I hated that one.
Finally When December began I bought the collectors edition of Xenoblade chronicles 2 the last and probably the best game of 2017. It has only been 5 days and The only thing I did was playing 60 hours in it. Japanese voice acting, nice movieclips, amazing movies, great locations and so far an great story. Xenoblade has it all. And these are only the physical ones. Now it is patiently waiting for the next direct for the games comming in 2018.
#legend of zelda#botw#Nintendo#switch#Mario kart#Deluxe#puyo puyo#tetris#fire emblem#warriors#arms#pokken tournament#1-2-switch#mario + rabbids kingdom battle#odessey#super mario#Splatoon 2#xenoblade
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SUMMER HEAT / EMPTY STREETS / JUSTICE NOR PEACE IN SIGHT / BUT STEP RIGHT THIS WAY FOR THE ONLY SHOW IN TOWN
Hello again from the belly of the beast!
It’s been a weird, hot, bittersweet summer. The new abnormal has made itself at home, the phases of the ‘rona have been swimming by, and one way or another life’s gone on living… Just wanted to put down a quickish sketch of what that’s been like in our lovable ol meatgrinder N.Y.C.
The lil lady and I spent the three months from mid-March to June in lockdown. I talked about all that plenty in my last post. It was a very surreal and foggy phase for us and looking back it’s hard to form a clear picture of what we did or how we felt. I think that fogginess has a lot to do with the mood swings, the phases of the news cycle, the ever-evolving picture we had of the world and our place in it… I kept my sanity by working on the album. It was good to have a mission in that. It was good too that I’d done the crowdfund and people had already paid for the damn thing, which kept me from slacking off too much. When I wrote my last post on May 2nd I was feeling quite blocked-up and discouraged because I wasn’t getting my takes, but then towards the end of May things started falling into place and before I knew it I had the whole album on tape. And whaddaya know, I think it’s a pretty good one! Probably the best one I’ve done. It was the first time I deliberately set out to write and deliver an album on a schedule, setting my dates without having the material in place, and I think that led to it being a very tight, compact statement. Of course the songs wound up being a bit more introspective and quarantine-y than planned, but that’s just how she goes, eh?
I wrapped up recording work around the beginning of June. That coincided with the period that Ariel and I started really venturing out again - starting on May 29th when we first joined the BLM protests against police brutality. I have to admit it doesn’t come naturally to me to talk about the protests online - not because it’s not important, but because I’m unsure if my voice would be as meaningful or articulate as the voices of those who are speaking from a lifetime of experience. Everyone’s feeds are already flooded with this stuff, and being a vaguely foreign white boy with an escapist bent there seems so little use in me going up and taking the mic. I'd just be repeating what I'd had to learn from others.
But that said - taking part in the protests was absolutely eye-opening. The energy and anger and emotion were relentless, and the demands for fairness and justice were so obvious, so simple to understand, and just so plainly the right thing to do. Which made it all the more incredible that it didn’t seem to affect those we were protesting in the slightest. I naively thought that the NYPD would at the very least be eager to put it out there that they, too, were against the indiscriminate killing of unarmed people, black or otherwise. I thought they’d take a knee with us. Not out of the goodness of their hearts, necessarily - but still, maybe just for the sake of PR. Intead we got to watch them go out of their way to perform live demonstrations of what we were protesting against over and over again… That’s to say my skinny white ass got a real crash-course in the harsh realities. We got kettled, intimidated with helicopters, we watched people get rounded up and beaten with batons for violating the 8PM curfew, we were there when that cop car rammed into a group of protesters on Flatbush Avenue… We also saw the looting, and the cop cars on fire, and the trash fires all along Broadway and on Union Square.
What can I say about it? It was fucked. It’s fucked. To be treated as an enemy by the police for protesting police violence. What else to assume than that they were taking the side of violence? They acted more like heavily-armed counter-protesters than peacekeepers. And of course it all led me to examine my own life and the advantages I’ve had. If you’ve been following me over the years you know I’ve always made a point of organizing my life in such a way that I have room to kinda detach from modern life and dream. And I used to think everyone could just do that. I was always proselytizing about it when I was a kid. “Just go live it!” All the while unthinkingly accepting the free passes that society would give me. Playing the free-spirited ragamuffin, simply expecting the world to recognize me in my role - and the world did! - while in a different body I wouldn’t have been recognized. That’s clear enough. So what kind of hypocrite would I be if I wasn’t out shouting for the same freedoms for my fellow humans? It’s something of a karmic debt at this point.
While all this was going on I also had to be dealing with my money situation, which was getting pretty bad. For reasons you can imagine I wasn’t in a place where I could apply for unemployment or any other kind of government assistance. My album crowdfund, the livestreams, and a little help from family and friends had seen me through the worst of the lockdown, but by the end of June I really had to start busking again. Sink or swim.
So, back to old Wash Square. That park has been through some phases in 2020, lemme tell you. It started out seriously mad. When I first started busking again the protests were still going full blast. March after march would weave in and out of the park, speeches were held, kneel-ins, sit-ins, you name it. I’d play the lulls. Around mid-July that righteous energy started making way for some seriously weird craziness. The NYPD had by this point stopped enforcing any of the usual small stuff and the Weird Ones had taken note. A squatter who called himself Jesus built a permanent home for himself and his followers in the fountain. Noise complaints were a thing of the past. Fights and brawls galore. Drugs, nudity, raves, and a riotous fuckitall feeling in the air, masks off, hands on, summer of mad recklessness. Me and my quarantine brain weren’t quite equipped to join the fray. I just kinda nervously skitted around the edges of it, yodeling here and there. Bit absent I was, maybe, but how can you go carefree gonzo when doing so means constantly risking killing someone’s granny by accident? I kept my social distance. There were some bad encounters. Bottles thrown at me while playing. Got assualted by some nut outside the W4st subway station, yanking me by the hair, punching me in the noggin. It was clear to anyone out there that the police had thrown their hands up at the situation and were letting people find out what life was like without them. As far as I could make out this unofficial police strike emboldened both the bad guys and the protesters without getting the cops anything. They might’ve been hoping the resident bougies would put their foot down one way or another, bark up the food chain some, but forget about it. There wasn’t much backlash or pushback from these upstanding, tax-paying pillars of society - they all just skipped town and headed for greener pastures. This mass exodus of wealth which had seemed temporary back in April started really accelerating around this point and by now the absence has started to feel permanent. If there’s any force of NIMBYism left in the Village I haven’t seen it. Those who have stayed on seem to have adopted a live-and-let-die approach. Aside from the fairy-lighted open-air restaurant patios with their potted plants and plexiglass dividers the streets belong to the people again, for better or for worse.
Personally, I don’t mind at all. Why should I? The money’s tough, but hell. I’ve always been broke. I’ve spent all my seven years in this city staring up at the rungless ladder which is Manhattan. If it can stop being a playground for the rich, it might become a place where I could actually hope to live someday.
Anyway, the last month has seen a sort of stabilization of the status quo. Some of the park regulars are back. R&B Lee, who used to be stuck down underground in the W4st subway station, has made a permanent place for himself and his giant PA on the western corner of the fountain. Jimmy the drummer is out all the time with a revolving cast of players. There are DJ sets on weekends and they get loud as all hell. So music’s back, but it’s a different world, and a much louder one. I’ve taken to playing in the small circle of benches on the western side of the park. There’s really not much space for unamplified music; the regular acoustic jam sessions have moved to other, more private locations and Colin Huggins, the park’s much-beloved pianist-in-residence, has more or less given up for the time being. Johan the living statue is out again much of the time. The portrait artists and street art sellers and fortune tellers are back, but the park poets are still in absence, probably conferring with their muses. Check out this article by Charlie Crespo with photos of some of the characters who are out and about.
Meanwhile the atmosphere out there is weird, anarchic, and sorta wonderful if you’re into that sort of thing. I guess I am. You won’t get bored hanging out on Washington Square in the summer of 2020, that’s for sure. Different threads of activism and action going on in every corner, friendships forged, love-ins, creativity, occasional bad chaos and ill energy, along with a good helping of just regular old hedonism in radical trappings. For a while there were great crowds of activist kids sleeping on the lawns and yakking all night about the revolution… The cops put a stop to that one, started clearing everyone out of the park again at midnight. Honestly a lot of it feels like what I always imagined the sixties might’ve been like. I’ve often looked at it a wee bit wistfully wishing I could be twenty again for it, with a head full of hot air and a fabulous tolerance for risk, instead of with bills to pay, dwindling resources, and a partner & a cat to look after. Oh, but I’ll be alright.
To everyone who’s still in NYC and has been worried about going out in public: if your health & conscience permit, come to the park sometime & let me sing a song for ya. I mean, do it responsibly - don that mask, bring your hand sanitizer, observe that distance - but New Yorkers have been knocking it out of the park when it comes to beating the virus, and that means the risks are lower and going out is almost as safe as it used to be. The park has plenty of room to socially distance. No one will bother you about it if you bring a picnic blanket and a bottle of something. The subway is safer to travel on than you might expect. The nights are hot and humid and saturated with all the great unknown we’re traveling through together.
And as far as I can make out, it’s the only show in town!
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Text
Timeline of the Zak Wars
OP:
October 15th 2008 – Zak Starts His Blog, It's called 'Playing D&D With Porn Stars. You can see the opening post here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/hi.html
Archive;
http://archive.is/i44G7
Act One.
The Long Build Up/The Sex Wars
Feb 2010 to Dec 2013
This probably has roots in forum arguments in the past but it enters the public record in February 2010 in the Canon Puncture Incident and proceeds through to the Desborough Rape Threat Accusations of December 2013.
This period is characterised by the relatively long periods between each incident and the fact that opponents and arguments don't always carry over or fold into the next incident. Alienation and anger build up slowly, are sometimes diffused, but don't go away.
Most are triggered by arguments over sex and responses to Zaks gaming group (mainly women, mainly models).
Canon Puncture Incident - Zak defends his group from condescending comments.·
Hyung Tae Kim Incident - Zak argues about the validity of sex in art.·
The Maxim Article - Zak defends his group again, from accusations that their public profile is bad for gaming.·
The Carcosa Thread - This starts off about sexual violence in the game in question.·
The Math Skills Fight - Zak defends his player, is accused of misogyny.·
The Numenera Succubus Incident - Again, triggered by the presence of sexual materials in the game.·
The James Desborough Rape Threat Accusation - Desborough angers many of the same people with his arguments about the validity of rape in games, is then accused of making rape threats.
The tl;dr for all of this:
Zak S is beyond the shadow of a doubt the target of a long-running smear/harassment campaign from conservative gamers that’s been really successful because it plays on the fears of would-be progressive ones.
The campaign against him is mostly from “goons” (their own nickname for themselves) from the troll site Something Awful and from disgruntled members of the semi-allied “storygame” community who have issues with sexuality in games.
This is especially strange because Zak is an outspoken advocate of pretty much every progressive political position, his game group is mostly queer women including trans women, the company he most often works with--LotFP--has the most diverse staff in RPGs and the RPG movement it’s part of--the OSR--is the most diverse in independent RPGs. There are nerds--especially nerds who have a problem with sexuality--who have a problem with this.
Back to the OP:
February 2010 – The Canon Puncture Incident
The hosts of the Canon Puncture Podcast talk about Zaks game with his group. They say some things that Zak regards as condescending towards the girls in the group, Zak requests an apology and the hosts apologise. This gets spoken about on story-games.com and Zak comes in to describe the situation. You can read that thread here;
http://story-games.com/forums/discussion/11540/d-d-with-porn-stars-and-canon-puncture
Archive;
https://archive.is/13HKO
February 11
2011 – The Hyung Tae Kim Incident
Anna Kreider makes an argument against the art of Hyung Tae Kim, you can read it in full here;
https://donotlink.it/Q0Ek
Archive;
https://archive.is/zJBbm
Zak disagrees and the two of them get into it. Zak calls her a prude. Later, on March 10, 2015, Kreider posts her own chronology of her interactions with Zak, you can find it below.
I've been asked to point out that Zak wasn't invited into this thread, he just turned up, which is true, he hasn't been invited into any of these threads, but neither has anyone else? They are almost all public posts or they wouldn't be available to link here. This has been described as a scary incident to me.
Well, take a look for yourself.
December 2011 – The Maxim ArticleThe US magazine Maxim carries an article about Zak and his group. You can read the article itself here;
http://www.maxim.com/women/playing-dungeons-and-dragons-porn-stars
Archive;
https://archive.is/2cbyr
An argument breaks out over representation. Much of this happens on G+ and has subsequently been deleted. You can read a transcript of that (by Zak) here;
http://armsinthewronghands.tumblr.com/post/148473329613/filamena-young-attacks-the-dd-wporn-stars-girls
Archive;
https://archive.is/Iv58T
This was the best evidence I could find of the origins of an important disagreement that, like everything in this chronology, forms resentments and hatreds that pile on into the next thing. If anyone has any publicly available links describing or showing what happened then let me know.
February 2012 – 'Confessions of a Dungeon Master' thread on Storygames,This is an interesting argument over a game transcript from 1980 by John Eric Holmes.
http://story-games.com/forums/discussion/15862/history-of-gaming-confessions-of-a-dungeon-master/p1
This starts out as being between Luke Crane, creator of Burning Wheel and Zak, a lot of classic behaviours are exhibited here and, like a lot of times in this chronology it's based on very different perceptions of, and reactions to, a potentially sexual situation.
Zaks opinion of Luke Crane comes up again four years later in an April 2016 post below.
February 29
2012 – Zak Encounters Something Awful
Zak says that the enmity between him and the Something Awful forum dates from this contact. In his own words;
“The backstory on this is an enmity with Something Awful beginning with me attempting to talk to them about their extreme statements here, years after noticing they took Mandy to task for having extension cords on her wish list”
Link to his post is here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/evil-mastermind-from-grognardstxt.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/X91ji
April 2012 – Zak Banned from Story-Games.com
Zak starts a thread about the 2nd Edition of Geoffery McKinneys Carcosa book. An argument breaks out about Anna Krieder, you can read the thread here;
http://story-games.com/forums/discussion/16258
Archive;
https://archive.is/sHVHL
September 27 2012 – The Math Skills Fight on Somethingawful
Zak argues with the posters on the something awful forum about dice notation. During this, he is accused of misogyny in regards to one of his players. You can read about that here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/apologizing-in-advance-for-this-hey.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/3OxeK
This adds to the enmity between Zak and Somethingawful which he has said is the engine behind the Tom Hatfield Failforward article in July 2014.
August 3rd 2013 – The Numenera Succubus Incident
Game Writer Monte Cook releases his game Numenera. This game includes rules for a Science Fiction Succubus. This causes a massive scandal and argument (google “Numenera Succubus”) especially on RPG.NET where the thread runs for 561 posts;
https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?697888-Numenera-W-T-F-Monte
August 5th 2013 – Zak Banned from RPG.NET
The succubus thread is what finally gets Zak permanently banned from rpg.net. You can read the exact wording of the ban here;
https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?698051-Infraction-for-Zak-S-17)-Permanent-Ban
He's banned by Ettin / Paul Matijevic, which is a name you will see several more times in this chronology.
It's interesting at this point to take a look at the different viewpoints. Here is part of the argument for the ban;
"You serially derail sexism threads with bad-faith arguments. You insist that nobody can ever make generalizations about anything ever (even when they're not), then post generalizations. You pull out arguments that boil down to "words don't mean things" like that's ever been constructive outside the philosophy forum. You're passive-aggressive and occasionally condescending, you post anecdotes as facts, you tell people that things can't be sexist because you know ~females~ who would disagree. You're convinced that you're always right and refuse to consider otherwise, or at least that's the only explanation I can think of for why you keep making up strawmen to dismiss people who disagree with you (cf. the pass-agg "stop assuming all women are alike!" business, asserting that feminist game bloggers and others who disagree with you must be "conservative", every time you say "Tipper Gore" ever). You don't take anything that isn't agreement for an answer, and will argue in circles about it instead of making the positive contributions you could be until you get bored or someone makes you stop."
And here, from the ban itself, is the mods example of Zak doing this;
"Nobody does this research or even seems to ask for it. And they should.
That this idea is going to turn away more women than it brings in has no experimental evidence behind it.
That this idea is going to make folks' attitudes towards women worse has no experimental evidence behind it.
So if your only case against the trope is Monte is being accidentally sexist (via effect) it's pretty much accusing someone of sexism with no evidence.
The idea that this is even a sexist trope in Monte's hands is based on claims it will have a sexist effect. It requires them to be true. It doesn't seem fair or right to do that in absence of anybody trying to test it.
Me, here's who I can test: 2000 blog readers and G+ people. 4 figures of "I Hit It With My Axe" fans on Facebook. Mandy's fans which are like in the 5 figures. We ask what keeps women from gaming: The data we get has nothing to do with content and everything to do with a social environment of weird controlling nerd boys.
But, hey, that's a biased sample
Somebody do some research, rather than assuming all women are like the ones in your environment.
The closest thing we have in terms of experimental data on anything moving the needle of gaming concerning women is the advent of Vampire which proves:
Tim Truman illustrations of sexy vampires --male and female--attract female gamers, a lot of whom want to dress like them.
Folks who run conventions and publishing companies and forums should try to do a better job by publishers, designers and women by actually basing claims about what is and isn't bad for the community on testing stuff."
August 5th 2013 – Zaks 'open letter' to rpg.netIn response to this perma-ban, Zak posts an 'open letter to the managers of rpg.net pointing out the alleged sexism of the ads that run on the site n contrast to the moderators attitudes;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2013/08/open-letter-to-shannon-appelcline-and.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/sQpvo
If you look at the comments, waaay at the bottom you will see Shanna Germain, Monte Cook’s partner and co-creator talking about her reaction to the arguments made against her and the game.
This is also the first time I recall hearing the name Shannon Appelcline in this history. It will come up again in Febuary 2017. You will see that below.
December 16
th
2013 – The James Desborough Rape Threat Accusation
About 10 months prior to this Ben Lehman publicly accused James Desborough, RPG writer, of being "Someone who threatens their critics with rape". Several people +1 this post.
Desborough has been involved in culture-war arguments with this faction for some time and, in my opinion, persistently trolls them. The verbal violence between these groups is intense. Just google "james desborough in defence of rape" or any combination of those words to take a look at the shitstorm.
John Stavropoulus an RPG writer not aligned with Desborough’s faction or opinions, checks up on the claim that he threatened people with rape and finds no evidence to back them up.
Zak in his own words; “
The short of Jon's research is this accusation turned out to be bullshit even though 80some people +1ed it and it got shared all over the RPG internet.
Now Jon didn't name names, because he "doesn't want a witchhunt". Which is respectable. But I'm not Jon and I do think the RPG community as a whole deserves an apology from every single one of these people for confusing and distorting a very real and very serious issue of real violence that actually affects peoples' lives.”
He names names. Some people retract their +1’s, others do not. I’m not going to provide a link to that post but it is still up.
Zaks naming of names on this issue is used as evidence of harassment from this point on, in particular as evidence of him having a ‘list of enemies’.
Many of the people on this list appear elsewhere in this chronology, almost always as opponents of Zak I think. I can't really point out
who
because, like I said, its alleged to be an act of harassment or directing harassment towards those parties so if I repeat the same names then this chronology also becomes harassment.
December 17
2013 – Paul Ettin Recommends plussing the Rape Threat PostIn response to the above incident, Paul Ettin, RPG.NET moderator and Something Awful moderator recommends +1’ing the accusation against Desborough of making rape threats, he later also says he is fairly sure they aren’t true;
https://plus.google.com/115194116430466884350/posts/jefADpVt1rJ
Archive;
http://archive.is/mw3GC
.....................................................................................................
Act Two. The Summer of Hate
July 2014 to August 2014
As soon as it came out that Zak and Pundit were consultants on 5e, the attacks, accusations and counter-accusations come in thick and fast. This is a very short period of great intensity.
July 3rd 2014 – D&D 5e ReleasedThe new edition of D&D comes out and it is revealed that Zak and the RPGPundit are counted as consultants. This marks the beginning of Consultancygate.
July 4th
2014 – Ettin Admits Trolling This is from a chat log you can read here;
http://pastebin.com/nAzfnHbj
In lines 1174 10 1178 he admits that he does not think Desborough made rape threats but plussed the accusation anyway.
July 6th 2014 – Eric Haddock Asks For Evidence on G+ This is in a public thread so I hope he doesn't mind me putting it here;
https://plus.google.com/u/0/114899023370792587252/posts/c6aeERrjbAw
Archive;
http://archive.is/itg0y
This is relevant largely because of this quote from Sean Patrick Fannon (recently revealed to have been behind straightforwardly guilty of a large number of sexual harassment incidents) which gets a blog response from Zak later;
"The Internet is
screaming
with the harm caused, Zak; this very conversation wouldn't be happening if you'd not actively hurt and pissed off a great many people. You know this as well as I do. You've simply chosen to deafen yourself to it, demanding bullet point accounting that you can then dismiss or refute as you choose.
This is one of your tactics. You ask others to present evidence so you can play your lawyer roleplaying game. You have no actual interest in evaluating your actions or your impact. You are resolutely convinced you cannot possibly be wrong.
You are telling me what I need to know here. You don't acknowledge the harm you've caused, nor your capacity to cause it. Anyone who claims you've harmed them is Swine (or a liar, or worse). I am disinclined to spend any more time on this, since it is clear you've made your choice to stand on the treacherous ground of your own making.
As for being discredited... I think not. Your refusal to give even the slightest ground, to acknowledge even the minimal amount of flaw or fault, delineates your narcissistic arrogance in clear, bold colors.
There was an opportunity here, Zak. You pissed it away. You've discredited yourself, sir.
My credit will remain intact, thanks."
July 7th 2014 – My Defence of Zak As the abuse of Zak intensifies I write this post about him in defence;
http://falsemachine.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/zak-smith-is-not-homophobe.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/b73Rc
July 7
th
2014 – The Pigfucker Post
A few hours after I post my defence of Zak, I wake up to find this article in which he lays out his own (by my standards, highly aggressive) policy on internet arguments, and also accuses someone of (metaphorically) fucking a pig;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/why-pigfuckers-fuck-pigs-and-people.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/9J0Ls
July 9th 2014 – The “The Internet is Screaming” Post This is really interesting. It kicks off with the quote from Sean Patrick Fannon above, then leads into an (I think we would have to say alleged) message from Zeea, who I think I recall from the rpg.net threads about Zak. I will include a little bit here;
So, I've spent a few hours doing as much research as I can, and I've talked to folks some more.
I'm not going to equivocate. People made accusations against you without proof, the accusations got amplified and distorted and repeated through the Telephone Game effect, and I bought into it when I shouldn't have.
................
I don't think anyone I talked to privately is intentionally lying about this. I think they believe it. But perceptions color memories, as does hearing the same event discussed by multiple people, and some of things look a bit stretched by this point. I can't base an opinion on stretchy-looking facts."
The whole thing is quite interesting and you can find it here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/the-internet-is-screaming.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/eXjOV
BUT
Zeea then (according to this post) retracts their statement based on the 'outing' controversy of July 26th (see below). She does not present new evidence, however.
July 2014 – The Olivia Hill Death Threats I think it’s about this time that Olivia Hill, game designer, claims that she has received death threats, including the names of her children’s teachers and phone calls to her address. These claims go on to become a major part of the case against Zak.
The only publicly available link I could find in which Olivia Hill repeats them is here in post 49 of this forum thread;
http://forum.theonyxpath.com/forum/general/off-topic/1050412-white-wolf-hires-zak-smith-im-out/page4
Archive;
https://archive.is/WjTp4
July 19th
2014 – The Scrap Princess Defence
Scrap Princess, who is trans and who is a co-creator with me of numerous projects (one of several trans creators directly linked to Zak) makes a public statement about the accusations (which is blissfully short.) here;
http://monstermanualsewnfrompants.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/just-for-record.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/jzaJG
July 21
st
2014 – Fred Hicks Weighs In Fred Hicks of Evil Hat productions makes a public G+ post in which he seems to support the allegations against Zak and apologises for not doing so earlier;
https://plus.google.com/+FredHicks/posts/SJHZ8Jc5SoW
Archive;
https://archive.is/KY554
July 26
th
2014 – The ‘Outing’ Incident
This is where Mandy, Zaks girlfriend talks about some of the trolls attacking her and Zak and uses a variety of openly available aliases for someone who later turned out to be trans. You can read the post here;
http://mandymorbid.tumblr.com/post/92910013775/more-reasons-people-found-to-hate-me
Archive;
https://archive.is/YyJyx
Like every archive in the chronology this link is only frozen from the point of this blog post.
Going forward, this incident forms one of the core pieces of evidence against Zak in future arguments. If you read someone saying that he outs trans people as a form of retaliation or revenge it is probably referring to this incident.
The case for the defence is that Zak and Mandy had argued with this person many times, knowing them only by non-gendered internet handles,and had no idea what gender they were, or that the handles referred to identities with different genders, when the two names were linked.
Zak in his own words;
“The person was not revealed to be trans until Wordmercenary/Tom Hatfield said she was. It was not public knowledge so how could Mandy or I have known?”
July 31st, 2014 – The Failforward Article This article is where the real bomb goes off. From this point on the situation massively intensifies. The article is shared by a very large range of people and is cited in nearly every major attack on Zak from this point on.
https://donotlink.it/VY0M
Archive;
https://archive.is/pi55s
You can read the clearest and most detailed debunking here;
https://www.seebs.net/log/articles/791/consultancygate-an-overview
Archive;
https://archive.is/pYOA8
July 31st, 2014 – The First Dongion Accusation
The Dongion is a blog posting sarcastic commentary about the RPG community. Zak has always claimed that he was not the writer of the Dongion but has said that he 'takes responsibility' for it based on the fact that it is in his blogroll along with many other blogs.
This tumblr reblog of the failforward article is the earliest I have been able to find that links the Dongion blog to Zak. It also links the Dongion to the Outing Incident.
https://donotlink.it/Wp95
August 2014 – “Get at him” Screencap
In August of 2014, in response to the spread of the Failforward article, Zak posts this. It is used in many subsequent attacks on him as evidence of his harassment campaign;
From the image; “hit him up? Correct him? Eat him?”
Zak – “get on twitter. tweet at him, ask questions, give links.I have a girlfriend in the hospital and 111 trolls to deal with please just either help or don’t but pls no silly nerd questions.”
Complete public text of the post (provided by Zak) here;
http://armsinthewronghands.tumblr.com/post/157572020868/complete-text-of-the-get-at-him-post
Archive;
https://archive.is/AUorP
August 2014 – “Destroy” Screencap
A few days later, in response to another article, Zak says this;
It should be noted that the link is aimed at a Metafilter thread and that you can go and look at this thread here, if you want to see if it was, in fact, destroyed:
http://www.metafilter.com/141806/Gender-inclusive-language-in-DandD-5e-raises-roleplaying-questions
Archive;
https://archive.is/iXics
Here (from Zak) is the full text of the post;
http://armsinthewronghands.tumblr.com/post/157572086858/complete-text-of-the-destroy-post
Archive;
https://archive.is/OLIFc
August 2014 – Zaks Response To The Failforward Article
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2014/08/how-dungeons-and-dragons-is-totally-not.html
Archive;
https://archive.is/ZKdRP
In his own words; “it debunks, with evidence, every single claim made up until that point in every single venue”
............................................................................................
Act Three; The Small Wars
January 2015 to August 2016
This is a series of spot fires or low-level conflicts based around particular incidents. During this period we get mutual counter-accusations, the Ennies walkout and the Magpie Games Incident. So far as I know the accusations against Zak don't widen in scope or intensify, but no-ones position changes. This is something like a 'Cold War' period.
Inexact Date but probably Jan 2015 – The Ettin Dongion Accusation
Ettin, the rpg.net mod, accuses Zak of running the Dongion, which he calls a harassment blog and which you can find on his tumblr;
https://donotlink.it/m0RJ
Archive;
https://archive.is/pyQ7J
A link to the blog is here;
http://thedongion.blogspot.co.uk/
January 1st 2015 – Mandys Chainmail Bikini Feminist Defence Zaks girlfriend Mandy makes a long post on her tumblr giving screencaps of various kinds of abuse she has received-- including rape threats--and talks in detail about the alleged outing of a trans person. You can read it here;
http://mandymorbid.tumblr.com/post/106857162470/im-a-chainmail-bikini-feminist-and-im-fucking
Archive;
http://archive.is/w8Wvr
March 10th
2015 – Anna Krieder Posts Her History With Zak
Anna Krieder makes this post;
https://donotlink.it/gGQo
Which is a chronology of her interactions with Zak from her perspective, so now you have a chronology in your chronology.
It's quite interesting and I recommend going through it if you have the time and if you want to see the whole fucking cavalcade through the eyes of someone on the opposite side. It's almost like the mirror/antiverse version of this post with many of the same events from an entirely different perspective.
Amongst other things it locates their first contact in January 2011 and the the opening of hostilities to the storygames thread in April 2012, not the Hyung Tae Kim Incident in February 2011 as I have above.
Unlike Zak, Kreider never defines harassment or tells her followers not to do whatever that would be to Zak.
March 13th, 2015 – The Sampat Mob Assault Accusation
A brief moment of levity here to give everyone a break. Elizabeth Sampat accuses Zak of riling up a “mob to the point that I was assaulted in front of witnesses.” The “mob” consisted of two women: Karolyn Gehrig, disabled activist, and Charlotte Stokely, adult film actress
Elizabeth SampatVerified account@twoscooters
FollowMore I RTed a blog post about how Zak has pushed women out of the industry. Zak riled up mobs to the point I was assaulted in front of witnesses
Elizabeth SampatVerified account@twoscooters
· 13 Mar 2015
More I'm sure rational minds can discern which one of us is an abuser. And that's the last I'm going to say.
karolyn ⚔️gehrigVerified account@karolynprg · 13 Mar 2015 More Saying"this isn't a great time, but I really don't like what you're saying about my friends Zak & Mandy online" is not assault.@twoscooters2 replies1 retweet1 likeReply 2 Retweet 1 Like 1
Elizabeth SampatVerified account@twoscooters · 13 Mar 2015 More @karolynprg Wait, were you the one who dumped the drink on me, or was it your friend?1 reply0 retweets0 likesReply 1 Retweet Like
karolyn ⚔️gehrigVerified account@karolynprg · 13 Mar 2015 More @twoscooters nobody dumped a drink on you. A glass of water spilled a full 6 feet away & more spilled on her than you.
https://twitter.com/twoscooters/status/576553462562840576
Archive;
http://archive.is/zFIHj
This is Karolyn Gehrig, disabled activist
https://twitter.com/karolynprg
The other accused member of the mob was Charlotte Stokely. Adult film actress
https://twitter.com/char_stokely
August 2015 – Red and Pleasant Land Wins At The Ennies
Zaks book Red and Pleasant Land wins multiple awards at the Ennies. Stacy Dellorfano of Contessa, the feminist game organisation gives a speech to accept the award in his absence and a few people walk out in protest.
Having adopted a conscious policy that trying to profit of of being harassed was more efficient than trying to sue an entire internet subculture, on August 1st Zak documents the twitter response to his win here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/the-reaping-of-tears.html
Archive;
http://archive.is/l687z
August 4th, Kiel Chenier talks about that incident and about the abuse he got for supporting Zak here;
http://dungeonsdonuts.tumblr.com/post/125851772599/i-am-so-very-tiredtired-and-angry
Archive;
http://archive.is/wbYjp
October 20th 2015 – Zak Mocks Olivia Hills Views on Star Wars
In this post, Zak persistently mocks and argues against Olivia Hills views on the Star Wars franchise.
This has been described (in the comments below) as "a blatant attack on Olivia Hill, using screenshots of social media accounts that Hill has said she blocked Zak from."
http://archive.is/20151021233535/dndwithpornstars.blogspot.de/2015/10/the-fetid-shit-stink-of-right-wing.html?zx=ab04705888fd97b7
Zak's defence, from the comments;
"I am blocked from Olivia’s social media, it is still public information available to anyone not logged in.
Criticism is not harassment. Olivia Hills Star wars problem is she hadn't seen it whens he made his years worth of irrational accusations about it."
Both sides get deep into it in the comments of this post if you want to read more.
April 11th 2016 – "Why There's No Tabletop RPG Theory
In this post by Zak he goes further into his numerous and deep disagreements with the Storygames community.
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/why-theres-no-tabletop-rpg-theory.html
Archive;
http://archive.is/lEwEr
I was asked to bring this in becasue people think Luke Crane is misrepresented in this post, and in particular becasue of the request for people to contact Lukes friends which apparently people did try to do. Luke is directly quoted in the post.
It has stuff on Luke (half way down), Cam Banks, Ettin and a few other people. You can read one of the interactions with Luke Crane in a storygame thread entry for 2012 above.
August 26th
2016 – Zak Calls His Critics Psychotics
Also knuckle-draggers, edition-warriors and sociopaths. This is claimed to be an act of harassment by some (see the comments to this post). If you’ve read this far you know that simple namecalling has been done a lot by many parties on both sides. You can read it here;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/3-dozen-psychotics-agree-go-buy-vornheim.html
Archive;
http://archive.is/IyQzs
July 26
th
2016 – The Magpie Games Incident
Mark Diaz Truman, one of the heads of Magpie Games and one of the few storygamers of color, a storygames publisher, writes an article about aspects of his gaming circles that trouble him. You can read it here;
http://www.magpiegames.com/2016/07/26/two-minutes-hate/
Archive;
http://archive.is/CDQkA
He is accused of defending Zak and therefore aiding a harasser. All the usual people arrive to do all the usual things.
Peoples responses and attitudes to this article become another form of contention which is carried forwards into future arguments. I mean, come on, if you've read this far you know how it works by now.
July 28th
2016 – The Invisible James Raggi Accusations
In this public thread by Mark Diaz Truman;
https://plus.google.com/+MarkDiazTruman/posts/2aRBa37wEtf
Someone accuses James Raggi, one of Zak’s publishers, of.. something? Then deletes the accusation. You can still see the replies to the ghost accusation but not the thing itself.
July 28th
2016 – Zak Talks About Mental Illness in the RPG Community
In this post Zak, without mentioning anyone specific, talks about how to talk to mentally ill people;
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/mental-illness-in-rpg-community.html
Archive;
http://archive.is/6S1d0
Despite having no names attached nor any claim anyone has disputed, this has been described, (in the comments below) as "an accusation that his critics fabricate and distort facts due to being mentally ill. I would argue this is a clear attack, and in the context of the previous posts can be understood as continued harrasment "
August 4th, 2016 – Zak on Anna Krieder
You've seen Anna Krieders chronology from March 10th 2015, now you get to read Zaks, equally long, response to that. And yes all of this is slowly killing me
http://armsinthewronghands.tumblr.com/post/148469806573/anna-kreider-wundergeek
Archive;
http://archive.is/CNj7B
..................................................................................................................
Act Four; We Eat Blood
Feb 2017 - Ongoing
Zak brings out a collaboration with White Wolf and all the old accusations are resurrected and combined with new ones.
February 17th 2017 - 'We Eat Blood' Begins
White Wolf announce that they have produced an interactive text game with Zak. Their announcement is here;
https://blog.white-wolf.com/2017/02/17/a-howl-for-our-bloody-writer-artists/
Archive;
https://archive.is/WGOMv
February 19th 2017 - The We Eat Blood rpg.net megathread
On discovering the news that Zak is working with White Wolf, outrage begins immediately. Numerous threads are started, the primary one on RPG.NET ;
https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?798635-necro-Whitewolf-Hires-Zak-Sabbath-and-Denies-Harassment
(I was banned from this thread).
The main charges against Zak are;
· That he is a known harasser of transwomen, gays, minorities etc.· That he used a false name on Reddit, impersonating Shannon Applecline, the owner of RPG.NET.· That he named one of the characters in the game, Avery, after one of his enemies.
'Known Harasser'
See everything in the above thread as evidence used by various parties.
The SAppelcline Situation
I remembered seeing the SAppelcline identity on Reddit multiple times, very often after a thread was pointed out by Zak on G+.
If you can't see these well, they are from here;
https://donotlink.it/QZ7E
I was bothered enough by this that I contacted Zak directly about it.
He gave me a response with enough detail to persuade me that it was likely true:
“
A fellow gamer in Los Angeles (who does not want to be harassed and so does not want their name mentioned) had a reddit account long before I did.
They posted totally mundane game opinions there. They did not use their account to talk up my work as has been claimed, nor did they ever claim to be Shannon Appelcline or post in a way that could remotely be mistaken for Shannon. These things are recorded, you don't have to trust me.
Why did they pick that screen name? Well, since Shannon Appelcline was responsible for so much of the harassment I and the rest of my game group experienced over the years, when they were picking a name I was like "SAppelcline" and they were like "Ha! Yeah!" the way you might name your dog Nixon. Lots of people have screen names like "illary Clinton" etc. It was a joke at my harassers expense, but not an attempt at impersonation.
Once in a while I'd be like "Are you on Reddit? Can you ask about...." something. Until I got eventually my own account.
The night my video game came out, this person was at my house. We were watching a movie on one computer and watching Reddit explode with harassment of me and Sarah Horrocks (my trans co author) on the other.
My friend and I were commenting and fact-checking the smear campaign Hill and the other Something Awful commenters were launching (within like hours of my game coming out) and passing the laptop back and forth.
There you go.
One more thing: There's a receipt for literally every single incident but this one. And in every case it objectively proves the people attacking me are lying or negligent in fact-checking before making attacks (equivalent evils). Often two or more of our harassers have mutually exclusive stories so literally at least one of them must be lying or wrong. After 6 years of absolutely provable harassment and smear campaign it seems silly people are worrying even a little about what I did rather than holding them to account for things they objectively and provably did for all that time. If you think this explanation is too thin? It’s still more than we’ve ever had from the folks making all these endless not just “thin” but actually-disproved claims. When does the burden shift to them defending themselves?
“
Although the SAppelcline identity neither claimed to be anyone in specific nor did it promote Zak’s own work despite those accusations having been made.
The Avery Situation
Zaks argument is that;
.This name was chosen with no particular reference to anyone real.·
.The only supposed opponent of his it could be named after is Avery Alder, the creator of Monsterhearts and they had no significant contact until the Magpie Games Incident, July 2016 and that wasn’t particularly hostile (especially compared to all the other people we’ve seen so far in this drama). He says the script for the game was finished and locked before that point.·
.He regards the Avery character as a hero in the game, someone witty and funny and cool who saves your life, it would make no sense for him to name her after an enemy as a supposed act of revenge.
.The Avery character is directly based on Zaks (trans) friend Bailey Jay, with her approval.
.The trans co-author (whom Zak suggested for the job) Sarah Horrocks both approved the text and aggressively defended the character.
I'll editorialise a little more than usual here. Claiming making a trans character a sketchy hyper-sexualised slut as an act of aggression seems a bit mad to me since Zak
is
a sketchy hyper-sexualised slut and so are most of the people he likes and he, and they, have all been pretty open in both speech and deed about how they think this is a pretty great way to live. It's a bit like saying the Pope wrote a book and condemned the villain by making them a
catholic
.
February 19th 2017 – Stacey Dellorfano Responds
Stacy Dellorfano, who runs the feminist Contessa event, responds to the accusations against Zak and describes the various different kinds of harassment and abuse she has received, sometimes from the same people who are opposed to Zak, whilst trying to make Contessa a thing;
https://plus.google.com/u/0/+StacyDellorfano/posts/9DgcEuirpPP
Archive;
https://archive.is/cPSMA
February 21
st
2017 – Sarah Horrocks Responds
The co-creator of the We Eat Blood game, Sarah Horrocks, is trans. You can read her tumblr response to the accusations here;
http://mercurialblonde.tumblr.com/post/157525001658
Archive;
https://archive.is/AF2Mt
Which include, interestingly, an anonymous commenter, without irony, explaining to a trans woman what transphobia is and that she doesn’t really understand how it works.
February 22nd
2017 White Wolf’s ResponseWhite Wolf responds to the accusations here;
https://blog.white-wolf.com/2017/02/22/breathing-the-same-shadow/
Archive;
https://archive.is/BCvrq
May 13th 2017 - Still Eating Blood
White Wolf has released a bunch of information about its new edition. Kenneth Hite is confirmed as the lead designer. This kicks off another thread on RPG.NET;
https://donotlink.it/wvWo
If you've gone through all of this you will see the same accusations from the same people, everything basically unaltered. This thread got locked soon after I posted it here, with 290 posts on it.
Then, the thread from back in February, got woken up. As of the time of writing that one has 1390 posts. (Looks like that has been shut down as well.)
June 20th 2017 - The Mark Rein-Hagen Thread
Mark Rein-Hagen, game designer and original creator of Vampire: The Masquerade, opens a Facebook post about play-testing of his new board-game;
https://www.facebook.com/Reinhagen/posts/10155667328577240?comment_id=10155667453877240
http://archive.is/ZmKON
After a few nice posts, this comes up;
Which, as you can see, has 358 replies as of the moment of this entry. So far as I can see the accusations are all things covered so far.
August 3rd 2017 - 'Art and the Artist' on RPG.NET
Were back!
Thread opens with this; "If he was just some asshole, I'd still buy his books, because I believe in supporting a skilled person if even they kinda suck. But this stuff about driving people out of the industry, calling people's phones to harass them, targeting their families, it sounds super skeevy and crazy.
I'm not trying to start any fights here, but can someone give me some links or information on the above? Being an abravise person who use's sock accounts, and makes some dumb blog where you talk shit all day, that's shitty and all, but it's not really enough to send me over the line of "I'm not doing to buy your books".
The Mods then ban all mention of Zak. Then I get kicked off (2nd 3-day ban)
Oh and I found this cool list of every thread with 'Zak S' as a tag.
August 13th 2017 -
I am Banned from Defending Zak on RPG.NET
Text of the ban; "Dear pjamesstuart,
You have received a warning at RPGnet Forums.
Reason:
-------
Topic Ban
Since your previous ban, we've reviewed your posting history and noticed that you've been posting exclusively in threads discussing a permabanned friend of yours. Specifically, you've been trying to reframe these discussions around a blog post you wrote. Though you present your views as a reasonable, neutral foundation for discussion, your posting mostly consists of attacks on other users and anyone who disagrees with you. Some of these posts are simply drive-by speeches directed at hypothetical future lurkers, and don't engage with the discussion in any meaningful way.
You've made it clear that you have personal and financial reasons to continue this behavior, and have no intention of changing. After discussion, we've decided to formally topic ban you from discussing Zak Smith, including linking to blog posts discussing him. You're still free to promote and discuss any games you've worked together on, provided you focus on the games themselves. You're also free to discuss any other topic on RPGnet, and we hope you take this opportunity to find other threads you'd enjoy participating in.
-------
Warnings serve as a reminder to you of the forum's rules, which you are expected to understand and follow.
All the best,
RPGnet Forums"
Image of the ban;
August 15th 2017 - 4Chan False Identity Accusation
We are back with Olivia Hill on the following twitter thread;
https://donotlink.it/WbaL
Hill accuses Zak of having a 4Chan identity;
Based on the use of the phrase 'get at hi in this anti-Hill comment;
And this G+ thread you will remember from August 2014 (see above).
And including what I think is an accusation of Fascism?
Later on we get Zaks denial of the accusation
“
Of course not--and in what world does that tactic make sense? Like if you go to some rpg part of 4chan and go "somebody should get at him" it's not like 4chan gives a rat's ass or would do anything. Especially if they thought it was me--they hate me way more than him
REPLY “
“
I mean: Olivia Hill writing shitty vampire e novels that nobody reads is an ideal outcome for me, what possible motive could I have to harass her out of that? Let her do that forever. I just wish people would just stop picking it up and running with it like it's a real thing
“
(G+ link may not be accessible to all)
.
(This document gets periodically edited to reflect new information and clarify content about what’s in the longer links. Links are added but never deleted. The original draft of the doc and any the opinions injected are by Patrick Stuart.)
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RYDERS CREED Release 'Cut Me Down' Lyric Video
UK hard rock band, RYDERS CREED, have released their new lyric video for ‘Cut Me Down‘, the second single from the highly anticipated 2nd album ‘Lost Souls‘, which will be released May 8th via Off Yer Rocka Recordings. UK hard rock band, RYDERS CREED, have released their new lyric video and single for ‘Cut Me Down‘, the first second from the highly anticipated 2nd album ‘Lost Souls‘. “Cut Me Down”, follows hot on the heels of first single and true rock-epic “Lost Soul”. It’s another huge track which is sure to go down well amongst the loyal “Creedlings” – as their fanbase is affectionately known – as well as reaching out into the wider rock community where it will be compared favourably with the output from the big names in the classic rock world. The accompanying lyric video is a work of art in itself, and complements the band’s thoughts of the state of the planet in these trying times: “We’re killing the planet through our actions. The place we call home is being destroyed through plastic, chemicals, deforestation, pollution etc. Perhaps everything that is happening right now with disease sweeping across the planet is a wake-up call, mother earth fighting back and showing us who’s boss. The song is a message to everyone who is willing to listen. We’ve got one place to call home. Love it and look after it as there is no afterlife for the human race once this world is gone.” Since bursting onto the scene in 2017, Ryders Creed have continued to build their impressive nationwide fanbase performing at flagship festivals around the UK including Steelhouse, Planet Rock’s Winters End, Hard Rock Hell & Ramblin Man Fair. 2019 saw the quartet claim the coveted title of Hard Rock Hell “Young Blood” Award-winners, as well as make their debut TV appearance where they performed on BBC Two’s Dragons Den. Watch here as they wow the judges: The Midlanders’ Debut, self titled album was released in 2018 and widely acclaimed by critics and fans alike. Therefore the 4-piece’s follow up “Lost Souls”, due May 8th via Off Yer Rocka Recordings, is expected to make huge waves in the NWOCR scene especially. The band had been due to embark upon a full UK tour this summer in support of the release however they have been forced to postpone the dates due to the ongoing Covid-19 situation. They will be announcing rescheduled dates in due course. In the meantime the band is encouraging creedlings old and new to pre-purchase the album so they can sing along to every word by the time they do hit the road. Physical CDs and pre-order bundles available here: https://www.ryderscreed.co.uk/lost-souls-pre-order
Tracklisting: 1. Memories 2. Unleashed 3. Lost Soul 4. New Beginnings 5. Believer 6. Feel The Fear 7. Chasing Dreams 8. Meant To Be 9. Cut Me Down 10. Hand In Hand With The Devil 11. Money RYDERS CREED is: Vocals // Ryan Antony Guitar // Myles Cooper Bass // Richard Clark Drums // Lee Gilbert
Upcoming confirmed 2020 live dates: Sat 11th July – Patti Pavillion, Swansea w/ Cats in Space and These Wicked Rivers Sat 29th Aug – Rivendell Rocks Festival, Workington Sun 30th Aug – Rockwich Festival, Northwich Sun 20th Sept – Call of the Wild Festival, Lincolnshire Showground Fri 6-7th Nov – Hard Rock Hell Festival, Great Yarmouth Sat 12th Dec – Rock n Roll Circus Xmas Bash, The Dolls House, Abertillery https://www.facebook.com/RydersCreed https://www.ryderscreed.co.uk Source Read the full article
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