#Armand you fool you have no idea what you’re doing

[hangonsnoopy19]

Just rewatching episode 3 in the context of episode 5, and that early scene…

“You held Louis’s attention.”

“Louis thinks I’m boring….”

“Do you find me boring?”

“No.”

(A fascinating vampire meets an eager black hole)

Gif credit: @loumandiel

[effyrosemary]

oh my god unethical priest marius you're a genius!!!!! do you think armand resists the idea that letting his priest fuck him is totally okay in the eyes of god or is he relieved to finally let go and give into his baser desires.... or both! do you think it makes him less guilty or more? god and imagine if marius were to weaponize armand's guilt in order to keep him even more trapped, like yes you are so bad for this and i'm the only one who can absolve you. i'm so invested LOL if you have any hcs of how it would play out i'm aaalll ears

Omg! thank you! To answer your question:

I think it’s both kinda. I think for Armand it would be so liberating to finally give in to these desires, and I think the shame is also kind of what gets him off (it’s the classic “oh no this is so wrong, but it feels so good!”). But I also think that there’s still a small part of him that genuinely feels it’s wrong to do these sexual things. Armand desperately wants to believe in something, I think, and to have that stability so he can have a space for himself to rebuild and to trust again. (don’t get me started, I have this whole fic idea of Daniel trying to provide Armand with a cozy little home and emotional support and stability so Armand has a space to heal, but that’s another story for another day) But I also feel like Armand is very nihilistic in some ways, so maybe he feels guilty but he also goes against the guilt on purpose, to feel that hurt and to feel that shame, I don’t know if you’re following me hahah

And omg, Marius weaponizing the genuine guilt is so wrong and so deliciously GOOD. (idc! it’s fiction! they’re not real people! let us have our dirty thoughts OK!)

When I first saw “unethical therapist Marius” on @monstersinthecosmos I was so immediately hooked. (I then sent this anon bc I needed to talk about it lmao, I was still not familiar with tumblr again after being away for a long time and I thought maybe people will think I’m weird but now I say fuck it bc Anne Rice never shunned away from people thinking her stories/characters were strange/too much.)

Marius is always so seemingly in control, and I love when he’s fooling himself that he’s doing the right thing when he KNOWS he’s not. That’s also why I like Pandora and him together, she kinda sees through his mask. Spoiler: I still remember that one part in Blood Communion after Marius kills Arjun where they’re all sitting around the table and Marius is furiously talking to Pandora and Lestat says: “I had never seen him so angry”, in other words; Lestat has never really seen Marius’ mask break like that, except now that he is upset with/about Pandora. Or when he’s helped out of the ice by Pandora and Santino in QOTD where he childishly snaps at her and says “I can walk unaided, thank you!” when Pandora reaches out to touch him, and she just gives him a shove and is like ‘“Fine girl, walk then lmao”

He wants to be this voice of reason, this stability etc, and he is, but he’s also human. So I love it when those kind of characters secretly give in to their bad side and try to justify it! I also love it when usually reserved people finally snap and can’t control themselves anymore when they finally get what they want, it’s my favorite thing. (There is this beautiful fic by @0junemeatcleaver0 where Marius kinda loses his composure at some points and he gives in to what he really wants and it’s so good. Highly recommend that fic in general.)

I LOVE headcanons, please tell me if you have some! These are some of mine regarding priest!marius:

- Marius has to actively restrain his thoughts from going wild when he sees Armand on his knees, or when the boy is reaching up to clean a shelf and his shirt rises and Marius can see the silky skin of his lower back. He’s practically drooling :)

- Armand secretly kind of knows the relationship between them is wrong, but he tries to test Marius by experimenting. (Sitting next to Marius and accidentally letting their knees touch etc that sort of thing, playing it dirty but also safe you know)

- Armand gets turned on when Marius is preaching in front of the crowd (idk how that shit works I’m not even religious, I never grew up religious lmao! how bad I am!) because Armand loves to see Marius in a position of power, and he loves how the people of the church look up to him.

- Armand has definitely thought about sucking Marius off under his robes when he’s speaking in front of a church full of people.

- At night, when Marius can’t think of nothing but Armand’s shapely legs and his lovely mouth, he turns to his Bible with the stubborn will of A Good Man and tries to ignore the insistent throbbing between his legs. And he can manage it, at least for a while.

- But then one night, he walks in on Armand praying on his knees and he walks up to tell the boy to go on home because it’s late and he should get some sleep, and the boy looks up from where he’s kneeling and says in a small voice, cheeks blushing; “I can’t, father. I’ll have sinful thoughts when I’m trying to sleep, I need to pray first.”

- And Marius offers he can help Armand with these thoughts, if Armand is willing to learn how to be a proper man of God.

- Nothing gets Marius more worked up than the idea of Armand calling him ‘ Father’ when they’re getting dirty together, it drives him feral

Alors… as Armand once told David Talbot; “Look, I’m deranged x”

* English is not my first language so apologies if there are some typos. Edit: I can’t believe I forgot the word “not” in the previous sentence for DAYS I have No Brains

[desertfangs]

VC self-rec sunday!

Thank you for starting this and tagging me @apoptoses! I think this is a great idea. From the original post:

#VCselfrecsunday is a chance to rec one of your own works (fic, art, head canons, meta- go wild!) and say just why you liked making it, what you’re proud of, or what made you want to create it in the first place. It doesn’t have to be a work that didn’t get a lot of attention, just one from your repertoire that you enjoyed putting together.

I'm going to tag: @fangsinclay @birdblacksocialclub @hekateinhell @serenwanders and @bubblegum-blackwood

My self-rec this week is Dead Drunk. It takes place in the post-canon era, in which Daniel and Armand, as vampires, decide to get as drunk as vampires possibly can on drunk mortals and fool around. It was inspired by a prompt from the VCkinkblog

Some things I really loved about writing this fic:

1. Getting to explore what I think the bounds of vampire drunk are and how it works, how heavily it can affect them, and how quickly it wears off or doesn't. It fun to play with, especially with Armand deciding to really go for it and accidentally ending up way more wasted than Daniel. (I suspect Armand was dubious it would work and thus overdid it in an attempt to be sure it had an effect.)

2. There were a few places I got to talk about Daniel's shame and feelings about his alcoholism now as an immortal who is no longer burdened by it. Both in terms of how he feels about the mortals getting wasted around him and his own history when Armand mentions how when Daniel was always super drunk, he was usually shouting. I don't know, I don't see a lot of fic exploring Daniel's alcoholism in that regard and I do think it's an interesting part of him. So while he's clearly not anti-drinking (see the fic where he is, in fact, trying to get vampire drunk), I do think it colors his experiences and feelings about it and I liked getting to talk about it a little bit.

3. GIGGLY DRUNK ARMAND. Like I don't know, it just makes me so happy. It's so freaking cute! And they're just really cute together. I love Daniel and Armand having fun together and doing weird shit and this is definitely an experiment for them but it's also just them letting loose and having a good time together!

Anyhow, if you haven't read it yet and you decide to, I hope you enjoy it! And I look forward to see other peoples #vcselfrecsunday posts!

[multimuse-rp-archived]

So apparently I have 500 followers now?!? I seriously cannot thank you guys enough! I’m so grateful for every single one of you! I never expected this blog to become what it is today. I just... thank you guys so much!

I’m going to do what a lot of other people do and give a shoutout to some specific people - I love you guys so much!

@jaimelannisterthings you were the first person I ever interacted with on my Tyrion blog. I was so nervous, especially because your writing was just AMAZING! But you’ve stuck with me from the start, and I’m so incredibly grateful for your friendship! You’re the best!

@the-stark-queen you are so sweet! You’ve always made me feel good about myself, and your portrayal of Sansa is just... *chef’s kiss* I cannot thank you enough for sticking by my side and being an amazing supporter through thick and thin!

@severityforgreatness you are seriously amazing! I love you and your writing so much! I don’t even have the words to describe it lol. But seriously, you’re incredible and one of my best friends on here! I’m so happy we get to write together and chat ooc!

@rosefromdeath where do I even start? You’re such a talented writer, and never forget it! Anyone who says otherwise is a complete fool. You’re super sweet, and I cherish all our interactions! I can’t wait to keep writing with you!

@boltxnbastard again, I just have to tell you that your portrayal of Ramsay is literally... I can’t even describe how good it is! You are also such a sweet person! Please always remember that your writing is the best of the best! Love ya!

@dumbthink / @hitundo I love your characters so much! I love our interactions, and I love the chaos that comes out of them lol. Honestly, those chaotic threads are probably some of my favorite ones to write because I can just have so much fun with them! Lol seriously though, you’re amazing, and I’m so glad we’ve became friends and interacted a bunch!

@timidstrcngth Peeta and Valerie literally give me so much life! And you’re such a nice person! I’m so glad we can both obsess over our muses and interactions and stuff! Valerie is precious and adorable and I love her so much! Peeta is incomplete without her lol. Here’s to many more awesome and cute interactions!

@amurderbutnotacrime / @wouldntlastfiveminutes we haven’t written together for a super long time, but we have a ton of awesome threads! Not many people write Beth as good as you do! And we all know Rio needs his Beth ;) thank you so much for being such an amazing writing partner! I can’t wait to see where our threads take us!

@dragvnflare I’m not even sure where to start! The way you portray Dany is so amazing, and you’re such a sweet person! I love talking to you ic and ooc. You were one of the ones that has been with me since my Tyrion blog, and I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me always!

@gangfrnd we have barely interacted, but ever since I finished watching good girls, I’ve admired your blog! I was a little nervous to approach you just because your portrayal is SO good, and I was afraid mine didn’t even compare xD but you seem like such a nice person, and your writing is amazing! Let’s definitely write more! Rio for life!

@silvcrignis / @dcusrclicta you are seriously amazing! I love your muses, I love our interactions, and I love our ooc chats! I’m looking forward to more interactions with you and your amazing muses in the future! Love ya!

@thegoodandthegreat you and I can literally obsess over ships and muses and, well, everything! It’s just so nice to be able to talk with someone who’s as excited as I am when it comes to our threads and fandoms and stuff! You’re such a sweet person, and I can’t get enough of our interactions!

@fxntasmagoria okay, I seriously love the way you write Zoe! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and I just think she’s amazing! Then again, all of your muses are amazing lol. I love interacting with you! We haven’t talked too much ooc, but you seem super nice! Hit me up anytime!

@galaxysought you and your muses are so amazing! I love every single one of our interactions, whether it’s with on my block muses, game of thrones muses, or anything else! Speaking of which, I’m so glad you watched on my block! Lol it’s such a good show! Anyway, you’re super sweet and super talented, and I’ll always be grateful for your friendship!

@legends-and-savages I’ve been writing with you for a long time, and you’ve honestly given me a lot of inspiration! I’ll look at some of your other threads and read them, too, just because I love your writing! You’re also super nice ooc, though we haven’t talked a ton. I’d love to write more, so I’ll probably be sending a lot of memes xD feel free to do the same! <3

@betweenthesinnersandthesaints I wrote with you back when you had Brienne on a single muse blog, and I’m so happy you have a multi now! All of your muses are portrayed soooo well! Also, I never thought I shipped Harry and Luna too much, but I do now! ;) hit me up for memes and plotting anytime!

@saltxwolf okay I know we haven’t interacted in a while, but your Theon portrayal is literal perfection! I also just love interacting with you ooc because you’re so easy to talk to, and you’re so sweet! Let’s keep in touch - I’d love to chat with you and write with you more! <3

@gloryxfades / @ladyxredxwolf I absolutely love the way you write Sansa! She’s a complicated character, and I feel like you really understand her! You’re super talented, and I love chatting ooc with you too! Crossovers are always welcome ;) love ya!

@prophecyfated when I first got into reign roleplaying and added my reign muses, your blog was the first I noticed! The way you write francis is just... *chef’s kiss* and I honestly sometimes read some of your other threads just for the quality content! Lol listen, I admire you so much, and I can’t wait to write with you more!

@ladystaarliing ahhhhh you are so incredibly sweet! I love Sarah (especially with Tyrion LOL), and I miss interacting with you! I’ll definitely try to be more active on my tyrion blog from now on so I can send you shippy memes and stuff! They’re adorable lol and you’re such a talented writer!

@villainouspassion where do I begin? I love the way you write your muses, and the way they interact with each other lol. I love it when you post those things about “muse moods” XD I think it’s entertaining to read some of your other threads, too! But listen, you’re an amazing writer, and I’d love to interact with you more again! Hmu for plotting or send memes anytime!

@armandlucienduval / @winewhiskeybloodandchocolate holy shit I can actually tag you! Lmfao. But in all seriousness, you’re an amazing person, and Armand is the best! I can’t get enough of him lol. You can talk to me anytime, whether you’re doing well or not, I’ll always be here for you!

@getlostsqdwrd we’ve interacted a bit. Not overly, but a bit. And honestly? Your muses and the way you write them? Perfection! I can’t get enough of them! You’re also just really nice ooc and a great person to talk to! I would love more interactions, so feel free to send meme spam and/or hmu to plot! <3

@starlessyonder I had so much fun playing among us with you! Our discord group is amazing lol. You’re also a super good writer and a really sweet person! I can’t wait to write with you even more - and kill you in among us lol

@smokedanced we haven’t interacted a ton, but your writing style and muses are so amazing! You’re so talented! I love getting meme spammed so feel free to do it again xD and I’ll do the same for you! Or, if you want to plot, message me! I’d love more interactions with you!

@itwcntsurviveme raven is literally my favorite character on the 100, and I have to say that nobody else can quite capture her voice like you can! I remember being so honored when you followed me back lol. I’d love more interactions with you, so hit me up anytime to plot or send memes! We stan Raven forever!

@reformed-serial-killer damon is such a hard character to write for me tbh, and I often refer to your portrayal of him to help me when I’m not feeling his muse as much! You’ve put so much thought into writing him, and it pays off 100%! You’re extremely talented, and I would love to write with you more! <3

@xchxsingcxrsx / @jxime-lxnnister you were one of the first people to ever write with me on my Tyrion blog, and I love that you’ve continued to stick with me through my vast number of blogs! Lol seriously, thank you so much for being so talented and always willing to try different things in our threads!

@blackroselovesyou you’re so sweet! Whenever I talk to you ooc, you’re always so incredibly nice and open to new ideas/interactions between muses! I love writing with you so much, and I miss the times when we had more threads! Things have been crazy lately, but come to me to plot and/or send memes anytime!

@musenssang it’s been a long time since our last interactions, and I miss you! You’re always so sweet, and your muses are awesome! You’re such a talented writer. Never forget that! I can’t wait for us to interact even more!

@thecrxmxnal we’ve hardly interacted, but I smile every time you pop up on my dash! It’s been a while since I’ve seen the Breakfast Club, but you’re really tempting me to watch it again! Lol. In all seriousness, you’re a really good writer, and I’m really excited for more interactions with you!

@thxwxlf your oc is the literal definition of a badass! I love her! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and it pays off! You’re an amazing writer, and I can’t wait for us to continue to make awesome threads!

@santagabriela I’m really not sure if you’re active anymore, but I couldn’t leave you out! I love your portray of Gabriela, and I think she’s amazing! I really miss our interactions. You’re super talented and really sweet ooc! Feel free to IM me anytime!

@tricksterreformed Gabriel and bobby give me life xD no but seriously, the way you write him is sooooo good! I’ll check out some of your other threads sometimes just for fun! I smile whenever I see you on the dash because you just bring such good vibes! Let’s write more! <3

@damnstory we really haven’t interacted much yet, but I have admired your blog from the start! Your portrayal of Bellamy is *chef’s kiss* amazing! Feel free to message me anytime to plot and/or send me memes! Can’t wait to interact with you more!

I feel like I’m definitely forgetting people lol. But seriously, I love each and every one of you! All of you are welcome to send me memes, reply to my opens, chat with me ooc, plot with me... anything you need, I’ve got you! Stay positive, and stay awesome! Happy writing!

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

1.

Bopping my head slowly like the sun is speaking to me, go to bed nigga, that is what I need to do “go to bed” mumbling to myself but I don’t feel tired to even attempt to go to sleep, I would just lie awake with nothing but bullshit on my mind, I will go back down the stairs and sit on the couch until I fall asleep naturally. Sliding the balcony door shut, I had thought I closed it lightly but clearly not, the bang was pretty loud as it closed. Looking at my bed, it’s been years where I have felt comfort in my own bed without feeling empty, I do question myself on what I am looking for in life because this is just not it, pondering and craving something but I want it to be real, I don’t think I can get real when I don’t trust. Closing my bedroom door, placing my feet in my slides just outside my door. My bedroom is untouched and will forever main that, no shoes inside that room either. It’s kind of like my heart, if you can reach that place then you got the key to my bedroom, I am weird as fuck but oh fucking well “morning everyone!” I said aloud, making my way down the steps with such a smile to my face, it hit me in a way. I am going to Melissa’ party, when she mentioned it I didn’t think she meant it but she messaged me the address and again, she reminded me of no friends allowed but then it would mean I go alone, that is just exposing me which I don’t like to feel. I would be alone in a room full of people that probably don’t like me, I suppose just Mel that doesn’t “back down then!” Hoodie said but the thought of shawty being there, I mean it doesn’t bother me but I am in her setting maybe I shouldn’t go because then I am asking to be told to fuck off, but Melissa invited me and it’s rude to not go “yeah” I gradually said making my way to the kitchen to find some snacks, maybe I should say no thank you.

I have been thinking for so long that I am not tired anymore, I will have a nap sometime later, but I have come up with the best idea, it is not a bad idea either. I do not want to go alone, it’s just not fair on me but I understand why, so I decided I should call Mijo and bring him along, Mel cannot deny him, I mean they used to you know what on the low but she won’t be angry at that, he is family too “aren’t you supposed to see the babies today?” Hoodie managed to say through the break he just had from inhaling “you right, and it’s getting late. I have to cancel, I mean yes” tapping on Mijo’ name, he is going to be shook to hear this, I mean he may think I am ringing him to hang out just on the low, but this is not something he will expect “my nigga” Mijo picked up, the tone of his voice, he is happy to hear from me “bro, how the kids?” lifting my leg up, propping it up on the table “they good fool, little Royalty want to play?” shaking my head, I shook my head like he could see but still “no, I got something. Also something you can’t say no too because nigga, I do want to go” if Mijo does say no then I will still go but on my own “I am not saying yes to anything but I am listening, Maleah no. Uncle is busy talking to me” a small smile played on my lips, Maleah wants to say hi to me “so I went to the Tuff Crowd store opening, shit was good. I got a few pieces while I was there and then someone came up to me, I was shook! The one, the only Melissa. She looks good bro, she gave me a hug, told me what’s up and all the good stuff” I just caught myself, I sound way too happy “good stuff? You about happy, you seen Barbados aren’t you? That tone, don’t play me boy” Mijo got me laughing here “no, just her, but she invited me to her party and she said just me but I don’t want to go alone” Mijo let out an oh “I see how it is, you want me to come? You scared?” Mijo is laughing but he is not wrong, I am scared. I can’t go alone “I haven’t been out in so long and we all grown now” is he considering it, I hope he is “so yes?” I interrupted his little speech “she got a man, he fat like you” I slipped in there “no then” Mijo said in annoyance, he is annoyed now “awww no, come on bro. I mean he thick” he has to come with me “pick me up fool” throwing my fist in the air in excitement, I am happy.

I text my mom, I text her saying I am busy, but she hasn’t messaged back. I mean I know I am useless but this party, I don’t want to miss and I am not doing it for a certain person but I mean Melissa doesn’t always invite me to places, this is different but my mother has not text me back so she is angry with me, I take that “put your head to the side a little bro” JC said as I moved my head to the side “getting all beautiful for tonight nigga, look at him shaving his hair he been grew out for months” Hoodie be trolling me but I will throw his ass out “surprised you aren’t getting your makeup done?” Hoodie laughed and he moved away, he knows to move away “I have to look the part” I don’t care about anyone or their opinions but even I know I have to shave my hair, it grew out and I didn’t care for it, I am not there to impress anyone but be there for a friend, she invited me “could make a male weave with the amount of hair I cut off Chris” JC joked, I can imagine how much hair he shaved off “we got to admit your favorite is the blonde tips but it looks better now bro” nodding my head slowly “I needed it, I can feel the breeze on the back of my head now” JC slapped my head laughing “well you’re all done now bro, before you go let me take a picture” smiling as I got my phone out from my pocket, my mom has text me. My phone unlocked straight away, and I tapped on the message ‘ok’ that was simple, I would reply but let me not because she will end up sending me a paragraph which I do not want to hear about.

Looking at myself in the rear-view mirror, do I look good, I hope I do look good for tonight, I mean I want to look presentable with the people that will be there, I even shaved for this which I haven’t in months “I have arrived with a bottle of Armand de Brignac Brut, this cost me seven hundred dollars” Mijo got into the car with me “thank you for that, I didn’t want to arrive empty handed, that would look wack” watching Mijo closed the car door, looks like he has shaved too “you smell nice” Mijo looked at me with the biggest smile on this face “so do you!” I retorted back to him straight away, I wasn’t going to have Mijo sat here laughing at me when he done the same shit “whatever but look. When you open the case, a neon light shines down on the bottle, I was going to put to Riri love breezy!” Why did I invite him, he is straight trolling me, shawty may not even be there. She may have gone elsewhere because Melissa would not invite me to just upset shawty, I mean she wouldn’t do that “you sat there with the biggest smile on your face, you too happy about this little thing” Mijo poked my side “I am not happy about this little thing, I am going there for a friend because she invited me and also shawty might not be there so there you go” let me get driving before I end up being extra late.

Now I am nervous, now that I have arrived here but I am going to suck it up and get on with it and have fun, I have had some things to calm my nerves so I will be good “I think we may need to go to the reception to go up” Mijo is right, I think so. There is only an elevator and a reception here “Chris Brown” some big white man got up from a seat “yes” looking a little dumbfounded because he came out of nowhere “I will key you in to go up, you on the list” nodding my head not saying a word, it is a good sign. I am not needing to explain that I am invited here, the elevator doors opened and I stepped in before the guy reached over and keyed us in “have fun” he bowed out “this is fancy, too fancy for Mel. This is one hundred percent Rihanna’ place” Mijo stood in the corner, looking to the mirror in the elevator. I actually look like I have aged ten years, I mean is the life getting to me or maybe I am just picking up on things “I can’t wait to get fucked up though, I know one things these know how to party. I miss it” I am hearing what Mijo is saying but my mind is a little all over, I mean what did I expect to feel.

The elevator doors opened, the rush of people and music hit me fast, I mean what did I expect, a little one on one time with Melissa “here we go” I said to nobody in particular, one thing I can accept and be happy about is that there is not so many people around, it just close friends from what I can see. Walking further into the open planned living area, I am getting stared at “hey, welcome” moving to the side a little, I remember him “hey” shaking his hand, this is Mel’ boyfriend “aye, aye, aye. Christoph! You came!” Mel yelped out, dancing her way over to me “Happy Birthday” I breathed out smiling “good seeing you and oh, oh. You bought friends?” Melissa’ mouth open pointing as she hugged me “I needed support” hugging Mel back, she is always so welcoming to me “well you are most welcome, and you. Mr Bradford himself. Aye, come here” moving to the side watching them both hug, I mean it’s different to see them both hugging now “well boys, this is just a little lowkey party, I won’t have many people here because number one. I am getting old, so it’s just a few friends and family” Rorrey and I caught eyes, I mean I have no issues with him now I mean there shouldn’t be “this is for you, you better keep the case!” Mijo put the case in front of her “oh, you fancy asses, me like it. Thank you, see how you all know me? Drinking, but make yourself comfy. We going to have a good time, and the weed is free here” Mel winked at me as she danced away from us, Mijo and I just looked at each other laughing.

I should personally make more of an effort for Mel’ lowkey party as she wants to be lowkey, she is getting old but bitch I am aging, I am getting old, my eggs are getting old. I may not look it but my back sure in hell reminds me I am like five years away from forty. I am really not feeling it, I mean partying and whatever is going on out there, I have been hiding out in my room for most part. Staring at myself in the long mirror, I mean nobody will be shocked at what I wear, least I can just roll my ass into bed after this shit is done. wearing a sheer white bra, light pink robe, matching pink bottoms and pink fuzzy high heels, I like to be different and this is just it “let me actually leave this room” speaking to myself, I am not getting drunk tonight at all. That is not my goal, as soon as niggas start doing stupid shit then I am out into my room, maybe I have become boring but I have a flight in the morning to London, I have not left Cali in so long so it is time to go back to my second home, this place be aggravating my life so much, it’s full of weird niggas.

Pointing at Rorrey, he has arrived, and I didn’t even know “you came!” Rorrey leaned down to me so my short self could put my arm around his neck and hug him, I miss my brothers a lot “I did, the flight was late. You know I couldn’t miss this” let me go and find myself some drink, walking off whining my hips as I did so, making my way to the counter to get myself a drink. I am happy Mel wanted this to be small, only the people we know here “bitch, what happened? You going to bed?” Jahleel touched my robe “eh! Don’t touch the robe bitch” slapping his hand “I especially went to get you a dress and you come out looking like you ready to sleep?” rolling my eyes as Jahleel rambled on, he knows damn well I do as I please “ugh” some of the Corona leaked onto my hand “so…” Jahleel dragged out “so what” licking my finger looking up, I had to double take because that cannot be “you see what I see too?” my finger still lingering near my mouth, that is Chris “that bitch Mel” grabbing the Corona bottle “I need this too” taking the shot glass with me.

Downing the shot “hey, hi. Can I steal this bitch? Thank you” placing the shot glass down “you finally joined us?” Mel said, she is drunk already “Tina, give us space. We need a talk, talk” Mel is laughing but I know her, I mean I have no issues with Chris but I mean he is here and things “what is up my bitch” Mel and I went into a corner “Chris and Mijo? Since when? And you never mentioned a word to me!? Are we even friends anymore, the fuck” I know Mel is rolling her eyes under those shades “oh yes, Robyn I saw Chris and invited him. He seemed really happy to see me and I was like we cool with him, so why not?” there is no speaking to Melissa when she is in this mood at all “there is no issues but I would have liked to know” Melissa laughed, she laughed at me covering myself with my robe “so you can actually dress up? On my birthday you dress in some sexy pajamas, I mean you looking sweet fa so” Melissa is not funny at all, this bitch.

“You know, only Rihanna would walk around in pink pajamas, she is something else but anyways. Now you seen her, can we go now?” I did hear what Mijo said but clearly I am not responding to him, shawty is always so headstrong and I love that about her and I know she has seen me, I just feel she has and I know she has been walking around all nervous, I mean we are ok but we haven’t spoken for years but I know we don’t have issues now. We tried to make it work but between that time I have had two children which happened, I had to look away because then I be looking creepy “I know but no we can’t leave now, I mean we got free booze and weed here” turning to Mijo, I have to turn to him because I am going to continue to look at shawty and then people will talk “so good seeing you” looking to the side of me, I jumped a little hearing someone next to me “Noella, it’s good to see you. Its been years” hugging her, it’s like family with all of them and I don’t have issues with them “it really has, and you add to the tattoos on your face, a new collection” she isn’t wrong, rubbing the side of my face “that’s how I be, I release my creativity on myself, I mean I have no space anymore” which I do need to stop but I can’t “over here, we doing the cake now!” Rorrey shouted, I should maybe say hi to Rorrey or maybe not.

I am standing a little further away, I don’t want to get in anyone’s way with anything or ruin Melissa’ day. I still feel on edge because with everything that went on, all these years I am not liked and I know that “any pictures taken today, they don’t leave this place. We don’t play that, these for your memories only” Melissa said before I even questioned why people were taking pictures “but gwan, mi want to hear you all sing!” Melissa is funny drunk, as I laughed Robyn and I eyes cross paths and it was such a quick glance that I had to look away, it seems so sinister even though we are over it, just seems to be the same, the same spark and I know if we spoke it would be the same old with us “happy birthday bitch, done!?” shawty said which made me laugh and now I look dumb for laughing because I was the first to laugh, everyone started to sing happy birthday “you mad weird, seriously” Mijo is side eyeing me, now I want to leave for looking stupid “happy birthday dear Melissa” I joined in with the cheers for her birthday.

I won’t go up to shawty and she won’t come to me so I guess that is it between us, I know why I won’t do it because of the reaction I may get “shall we go? I think I need to go and hate myself for making that noise when she wasn’t even that funny” placing my drinks down “one o’clock” Mijo said and then looked away “I said shall we go, one o’clock been and gone?” is he too high or something “some cake” my heart dropped, like I did not expect such a feeling like that to hit me but I still love her, I can feel her aura next to me. Why would she want to speak to me when I have kids and we haven’t spoken since that all happened, she touches my mind in special places and her voice alone is driving me wild “you want me to just take that? Where is my slice miss Fenty!” Mijo said, I managed to look at her “I only have two hands, and you have gained weight” watching Mijo and Rihanna both embrace, is this how Mijo feels when I am hugging Melissa like it’s nothing, I mean I miss Robyn in my arms “I am playing, I will get my own cake. Be back” Mijo winked at me as he walked off, oh wow I am nervous “it’s weird and I am trying to not make it weird but I got you cake” shawty admitted and I breathed out, like a sigh of relief “I am glad I am not the only one” taking the cake from her “thank you” she makes me all shy inside “you look beautiful” it came out of my mouth, why did I say it “I am just a mess” I am so stupid “I was shocked to see you here, whatever you feeling it’s the same Chris but I drank some and came here. We have known each other for years to not just speak and I don’t hold any grudges with you” I understand what she means “it’s always going to be that way with us, I feel like people around us get weird unless it’s Mel” I don’t even want to see what the people around us are doing.

I don’t even want the cake but I will forcefully eat this “you are forcing yourself to eat” shawty said it, she knows me which made me laugh “it’s dry” I said through my laughter which made Robyn laugh with me “about dry as my pussy, I agree” Robyn put the cake back on the paper plate, she licked her thumb “no comment” Robyn took my paper plate from me and placed it on the side, she is so sexy right now “best comment to say but how are you? I feel the alcohol is kicking in, I must admit you are getting old, I mean I am but what is this?” I was taken aback by Robyn touching my forehead, her touch has gone straight to my dick “what?” I am giggling like a little school kid in love “these frown lines, you need to stop it” she pressed her hand to my forehead “you need to take care of your skin” she moved her hand back, I am shocked she touched me “uh, well I need that Fenty Skincare, you giving samples?” Robyn laughed but held my arm as she did “you got jokes now, but on a real. You need to start looking after your skin, but we both getting old” Robyn moved her hand from my arm as she fixed her hair “you too busy conquering the world now, you look young still. I mean in other aspects you have become a lady” Robyn side eyed me “keep talking, I will be back, I just need to go to pee” nodding my head with the biggest smile on my face, I mean there is so much to smile about when I got the love of my life just here.

[nicnacsnonsense]

A few days ago @whiteleyfoster did some lovely The Birdcage AU art and @poetic----nonsense decided we needed a full AU figured out, so they tagged me. Because I am now the person who figures out fusion AUs., Which honestly, that’s fantastic; I love it. Unfortunately I hadn’t seen The Birdcage before, but it’s available to watch on Prime, so I just took care of that. The bad news is I didn’t actually like the movie all that much. The good news is my problem was in the execution rather than the premise, so I do think there’s a good Good Omens AU to be had with two adjustments. One, lean into the wacky hijinks more -- this is definitely a wacky hijinks comedy kind of plot, but the tone of the movie was oddly serious a lot of the time. And two, I want to really feel the love between all the members of our little queer family. The movie tells us they’re a happy and healthy family, but what I was seeing was a lot of Val being mean to his parents, a lot of Armand being mean to and dismissive of Albert and a lot of Albert being overly dramatic and sensitive to everything.

Moving on to our characters. In Whiteley’s drawing they had Aziraphale as Albert and Crowley as Armand, which I get that, but I want to switch it. Aziraphale as the small business owner cismale who is obviously gay (I didn’t get any obviously gay vibes from Armand, but the movie told us a couple of times he was giving them off, so *shrugs*). Meanwhile Crowley is amab and typically presents male day-to-day, but also presents female at time and is slightly ambiguous in terms of gender. I also feel Crowley’s dramatic bitch energy is a better match for Albert’s than Aziraphale’s is. 

For Val and Barbara, Whiteley suggested Adam and Warlock respectively, and while I like each of those choices a lot individually, it doesn’t work for me once you put them together. Partially that’s a personal thing -- I know Adam/Warlock is somewhat popular but it squicks me out -- but also unless you want to genderbend one of them female, you have a gay relationship which kind of undermines the whole “gay couple has to pretend to be hetero to fool the super conservative in-laws.” I still think there’s a way you could do it, but it would take a lot of work. So instead I propose Newt as Val and Anathema as Barbara. (which weirdly makes the second time I’ve had Aziraphale as Newt’s dad. I swear I’m not trying to make it a thing).

I realize the immediate impulse there is if you’re going to use those two you should flip them: Newt as Barbara and Anathema as Val. But first of all I think if Anathema was Val she wouldn’t stand for lying about who her parents are; sucks for you Newt, but you’re just going to have to come clean. And if you put aside political views, these are actually really good matches for each of their families in canon. Anathema was a “professional descendant,” her entire life was mapped out for her by her many times great-grandmother, which is something of the ultimate extreme Barbara’s controlling family. Meanwhile’s Newt’s mother seemed very loving and she supported and encouraged his enthusiasm for computers no matter how many power outages he caused. Plus I do think there’s a great parallel in Crowley and Aziraphale having to hide their homosexuality from Anathema’s parents and the idea of Anathema being a liberal, occultist, environmentalist, feminist, general social activist, probably met Newt at an LGBT+ support rally, who goes home to her family and has to hide all of that and pretend to be a good little conservative Christian girl.

For the other major characters Anathema’s parents would be Anathema’s mom (obviously) and Gabriel I think. The idea of him as Anathema’s dad is a little weird, but you can’t deny Gabriel fits the super conservative senator mold really well. You could also use the Dowlings instead if you wanted, but c’mon, Gabriel fawning over femme!Crowley? That’s too funny, guys. For Newt’s biological mother I think Michael. She could definitely pull off high-powered exec who isn’t the least bit maternal, but is willing to show up for her son in this because of a sense of duty. In this version Aziraphale and Michael would have actually been dating because Aziraphale was still in the closet and in deep denial at that point, but they broke up when she got pregnant and Aziraphale wanted to keep the baby and Michael wanted to put it up for adoption the instant that baby slid out of her. (I also totally picture that after they agreed to break up Michael said it was probably for the best, seeing as Aziraphale was just super gay.) And finally for Agador I think Madame Tracy. Admittedly as a character she’s not much like him, but looking at it in terms of the function of the character as a comic relief zany housekeeper type, I think she could do a really good job as her own version of that.

A few other changes. The whole argument about “who’s the white whine for?” still happens, but it’s playful banter, rather than any sort of serious accusation of cheating. Then after the show Crowley and Aziraphale go upstairs together and surprise! Newt’s here for a visit. He tells both of his parents about his engagement at the same time. Then again when the issue of Anathema lying to her parents comes up, Newt approaches both Crowley and Aziraphale together and presents it not as something he’s demanding they do for him, but a problem to be solved together. Then Crowley and Aziraphale are totally extra enough to be like, zany hijinks, we’ll just fake like we’re the very straight cultural attache to Greece and his woman female wife. 

Except after a bit of prep work Crowley suddenly backs out as the wife, claiming he can pull of woman sure, but he can’t pull off housewife. That’s where Michael comes in. Crowley is the one who chooses not to go into her office -- he resents her for what he considers to be her abandonment of Newt -- but when he gets impatient waiting he coincidentally barges in at just the wrong moment to what looks like flirting/cheating (but we the audience know was actually something completely innocent) and storms off. 

Aziraphale goes to talk to Crowley once they both get home and his shocked and even a little hurt that Crowley would ever think Aziraphale would cheat on him. Crowley says, no he knows that’s not what was going on and he knows Aziraphale wouldn’t, especially not with a woman. So Aziraphale is like what’s up then, you’ve been acting weird ever since Newt got home. And Crowley admits that he is jealous, but not over any sort of fictitious other lover, but of Newt. Because Newt is getting married and Crowley and Aziraphale can’t (cause 90′s). And that’s why Crowley backed out of the wife role, because tt was too close to what he wants and can’t have. The two of them have a heart-to-heart about how much they love each other and how committed they are. This also means when Crowley does show up to the dinner dressed up as Newt’s mom, it’s a heart-warming moment where Crowley is silently communicating that Aziraphale is right, that it’s real in their hearts, and that’s what matters. 

[awfully-sadistic]

Week 2: Oct 8th

The Adventures of Dot and Dodger A series of linear prompt one-shots.

Yesterday, I gave myself a time frame in which to complete my chapter. I didn’t make it but I got close. And technically, yesterday’s chapter wasn’t complete so here’s part two.

--

The relief on Stephen’s face was short-lived. He welcomed the reprieve but it usually wasn’t good when Nick Fury put in an appearance on just any conversation. Perhaps he wanted to convey the gravity of the situation and despite Stephen being able to do it himself, he didn’t want to be scrutinized under Dot’s heavy gaze any longer. Reminiscent of a mother’s gaze, Stephen felt censure, disappointment. He realized early in on the conversation that he was finding it difficult in being able to turn his head to catch her gaze and had started to avoid it. A curious feeling the Doctor would be discovering later, he was sure, but what he wasn’t sure was why the effect was so profound. Did it have to do with her empathetic abilities? Was she broadcasting her own that even he was susceptible? Further, did she know that she could manipulate feelings or influence them? He found it hard to believe someone as compassionate as Dot would be abusing her abilities out of malice. He had concluded that she must have been doing it subconsciously. Whatever the reason, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted onto his shoulders when Fury made his presence known.

It was bad enough Stephen felt like he was backing this trio into a corner, he simply couldn’t deceive them anymore. The underhanded, roundabout way Dot, Dodger, and Armand had been dragged into this situation have been S.H.I.E.L.D.’s tactics; they were paranoid for a reason and apparently Fury had every reason to believe everything could and would be compromised given the chance. Everything they executed had a reason whether or not Stephen agreed with it; from Stephen being their first client to this dinky little task of retrieving a Cursed Item. Tests of mettle, of resolve, to see if these two (now three) really wanted to make a difference in their world.

He may have taken it upon himself to become the acting guardian for this earth and that responsibility doubled as soon as it became apparent that pulling these two worlds apart could be the end of both, but that didn’t mean leaving its inhabitants in the dark even if they often didn’t know what was good for them. In addition to this, it was challenging finding the right representatives in a world so “primitive” compared to theirs; compared to Earth-616, this planet’s history was incredibly new, still reeling from the effects of a war hundreds of years ago. Stephen was not as naïve to know this was their planet, too. These three should also decide which direction it should take as with the rest of its inhabitants. Something Nick would be explaining for them and once in a while, this great Sorcerer Supreme would step back to allow another power as commanding as he to take the spotlight and dish out the heavy hits. Stephen would input his two cents as needed but for the most part would lend his support to the conversation.

As expected, Dot and Dodger had their attention on the new addition to their conversation. A tall, commanding character who seemed to wear nothing but black and a trench coat donned an eyepatch that completed the ensemble. In fact, he looked like  villain instead of a superhero. Due to his description alone, Dot had an inkling on who this figure was but she didn’t want to assume. Even the Agency’s intel on S.H.I.E.L.D. was murky at best and she had a good idea why. It was a miracle the Agency even had knowledge that S.H.I.E.L.D. existed. But then again, she had no idea how dated the material had been. She was beginning to see that there was little she knew about 616 the more she learned about it. She didn’t feel too bad though; apparently she hardly knew the affairs of 6969, too. She would soon learn though that this was not through any fault of hers.

“What do you mean there’s another reason you focused on us?” Dodger asked, a complete word-for-word phrasing parroted back to the mysterious agent.

“I said what I said, don’t make me start repeating myself, son.” Fury snapped. He sounded like he had little time for nonsense and his reply startled Dodger enough that it made him jerk his head back, deliberating a slow blink and then another as a look of disbelief crossed his features.

“I thought that was a pretty reasonable question to ask,” Dodger challenged. “you come in out of nowhere and lay this cryptic message on our laps like we’re supposed to know what to do with it from there.”

“You’re beginning to sound like Clint.” Fury pointed out, walking further into the room. He pulled up a chair from a nearby desk and sat down. “And that’s not a compliment.” Fury didn’t allow Dodger any room to reply, even if he had wanted to, because he took control of the conversation as soon as he had settled. “The affairs between Humans and Supernaturals, as you people are fond of classifying the entire thing, has had trickling effects leaking into Earth-616 for some time now. Now, we already went through this shit many times in the past but our version of Supernaturals are called Mutants. We ain’t talkin’ about Bigfoot or Nessy, but to compare, they’re like humans who evolved due to a genetic trait. These humans mutate and develop superhero powers as soon as they hit puberty. Instead of Humans vs. Supernaturals as it is here, it became humans vs. mutants when we come from. We’ve come from many situations where we’ve been in your shoes before and sometimes, even superheros get involved. We ain’t perfect but it certainly ain’t helping that we seem to be repeating history if Earth-6969 doesn’t clean up its act soon.

The Human vs. Supernatural debate sparked a whole renewed interest for those on my planet with a bone to pick and we got some key player sore losers over here. We’re beginning to see that shit like this doesn’t die easily even if we’ve turned over every rock and squashed the opposition and it’s becoming even clearer now that innocent people will get thrown into the mix, even if they have nothing to do with being a mutant. Just exhibiting powers alone is enough to earn people’s scorn.”

“Why does it matter so much to those on your planet about the affairs of our people?” Dot asked. Her mouth was turned down in a frown, her eyebrows pinched in the middle with worry. Hearing about the differences between the biases on the two planets didn’t seem all that different to her when put into perspective like this. But it confused her as to why people from 616 are using 6969’s turmoil as a reason to act out their own hatred.

“They just need any reason,” Fury stated, settling his one good eye on Dot. A chocolate hue that matched the ebony shade of his skin. “any reason at all to get their means to an end.”

“Those people sound like villains.” Dot said, meeting Fury’s gaze. “What kind of people are we talking about? People is too broad of a word. Are they villains?”

“As much as politicians can be,” Fury cracked, sounding sarcastic rather than funny. “Unfortunately, these are people in seats of power. People with pull and money that can make things happen.”

“As much as a corrupt government as ours then,” Dodger mused.

“Pretty much. Except that we’re seeing that your government is being heavily swayed by these people in power to crack down on the Supernatural affairs of this world. I believe you started to see the fruits of a certain mayor who elected a certain new Chief in the Agency’s seat?”

“Well, we knew Aldric was a plant and the mayor has some questionable motives he wants to set in motion for the Supernaturals. We didn’t think it’d go anywhere…” Dot said, sounding thoughtful. Maybe a little fearful, too. “Now I’m thinking I should probably take another look at some of his policies he wanted to set into action.”

“But… he’s just one person, right?” Armand asked, turning his head towards Dot and Dodger. “What harm could one mayor do that others will not try to put a stop to?”

“The mayor can actually do a lot even if he’s not blatantly committing criminal acts. I think this works like in 616, too.” Dodger began, turning to cast an inquisitive glance at Fury and Stephen. “The mayor of a city is responsible for implementing legislation passed by a council. They have substantial pull on what occurs in a city and have vetoing powers and the ability to hire or fire staff, such as our old Chief. Our Ashbourne is a big city. A major hub that the Agency mainly works out of; kind of like their Washington, D.C. except our Washington is a wooded land area that has no significant events attached to it because our history is different. Aside from running the city, our mayor does have a lot of influence when it comes to convincing our senators to act upon something that could find its way to Congress and before you realize it, could be passed into law.”

“That’s if he’s smart enough to make the prospect bills he’s proposing look harmless enough to fool everyone into thinking he’s doing it for the good of the State.” Dot added. “A lot of bills get passed into laws that have specifically worded phrases that can mean different things. It’s tricky and underhanded.”

“Even our laws has carefully worded clauses like that,” Fury pointed out. “politics is a dirty game. You have to be smart to play it and even smarter to pull bullshit out of your hat and feed it to everyone to convince them that this is a good idea. So yeah, I’d say some politicians make great villains.”

“We’ve established that governments on both sides can be corrupt,” Stephen interrupted, “but I don’t believe we’ve delved into the scale of how corrupt.”

Fury made a noise of agreement. “To be blunt, we suspect that some 616 politicians are also occupying seats in 6969. We can’t tell for sure who belongs on which planet if people start migrating over but that is something we try to prevent simply for the balance. Sure, we can allow people to start moving back and forth, the earths are two gigantic ass places. Who would not be tempted to? And for the most part, we share a lot of similarities but that also means our resources are not the same. If we allow people to start zapping back and forth between planets, things can get messy. You guys are familiar with the Dovir technology debacle a few years ago?”

Dot and Dodger nodded but Armand shook his head. Fury explained.

“Because Aliens tried taking over your world, you’ve sustained the most damage out of this Great War a long ass time ago. A lot of people were killed and your world was nearly annihilated. But that means all of their technology is located here. Even with a few pieces scattered from 616, that is nothing compared to the landmine you guys are sitting on. It’s also made great strides in terms of advancement for your planet, but eventually, people on 616 got too greedy and wanted some of that too especially after seeing what it could do to bolster our own tech thanks to a certain asshole in his tower, experimenting with this shit. Though I’ll be the first to admit, S.H.I.E.L.D. has benefitted from Dovir technology since the settlement. But that ain’t good enough for some other people.

If you guys have Dovir technology, what other hidden gems do you have that you might not be aware of? That’s just one whispering throughout the ears of many men in seats of power. You can see where I’m going with this, right?”

Armand nodded as did Dot but it was Dodger who answered, “You want to prevent people from easily traveling across realms in order to profit from either planet. In order to do that, you need a power that puts a check into place that holds the governments back from going too far.”

Fury looked impressed or as much as one could with a stoic expression and an eyepatch. “Exactly. But in this case, we just need someone to rival the Agency at the moment. This organization is almost like the counterpart of S.H.I.E.L.D. as in it has a lot more pull than you realize and it’s essentially the only thing in power with the authorization to do something about the Supernaturals. Unlike S.H.I.E.L.D., its brand spanking new and eager to please. However, unlike the Agency, S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot move into 6969 territory without looking like the planet is going under an occupation.

That would be where you guys come in.”

“But, we’re just a couple of people who wanted to start our own business…” Dot argued. “we don’t know about saving the world or espionage, I barely knew the affairs of this planet and that’s because you just told me.”

“Then we’ll teach you. And we’ll continue to guide you.” Stephen offered.

“We don’t even have a full staff. It’s just the three of us.”

Fury leveled his stare on Dot, “And I was just a guy that got shot and spent my ass recovering in a bed, with only two of my best people working with me at the time.”

“Are you insinuating that Dot is going to get shot?” Dodger asked.

“I’m saying you can do it with just three people and you can hire more along the way. Everything has been set into motion for you guys. All you have to do is step up to the plate.”

Dot and Dodger exchanged glances; meaningful, pensive, thoughtful. Dot sighed, running a hand through her curly hair, scratching her scalp before letting it fall to her side. “I think we need more time. At least, to process this information. Frankly, I don’t think you’re giving us much of a choice to say no, but… can we at least have the time to process this?”

It was Stephen and Fury’s turn to exchange glances. It was Stephen who nodded and looked at the trio on the couch, “Of course.”

But Fury didn’t seem finished. He stood up like he was but he was still talking, “Don’t take too long. You’re the only ones who have shown the promise and initiative to undertake this first step to really get things off the ground. It’s a lot, but are you willing to sit by and let this all happen? You branched away from the Agency for a reason, Dot.” he was trained on her now and she was surprised by the sudden finger-pointing. “You wanted to make a difference. I know a whole hell of a lot of people on 616 who would have been in your shoes and would have made the same choice. But the difference between my planet and yours is that you were the only one, first among your kind here, that did. And that’s saying a lot already.”

Dot stood silent as she watched Doctor Strange and Fury leave their office space. Whatever intimidating aura they had, they took with them leaving the room bereft in their wake. It was an odd feeling, knowing that so much fell on her shoulders already without saying she agreed.

“I know I’m going to,” Dot said absently, still staring at the door leading out to the waiting area. “I’m going to agree and say I want to help. I want to make the difference I set out to achieve. But, I’m …kind of scared.”

“We’re not heroes.”

“I know. We’re not but…” Dot paused to face Dodger, her face an unreadable expression that Dodger had a hard time placing. It was why he was taken by surprise by her next statement, “I want to be.”

Tuesday, October 8th was a dreary day. It seemed the sun was hidden behind cloudy weather but couldn’t decide whether it wanted to rain despite the sun never making an appearance. Dot thought idly how great this weather was for telling spooky stories but couldn’t decide which was spookier—the stories or the fact that their planet seemed to be heading down a path that’d lead them to another civil war among themselves.

It didn’t take long for a ray of sunshine to make an appearance. Armand was cleaning his receptionist area when a woman came in, taking a seat in the open area of the waiting room. Armand paused in his cleaning, eyes growing wide as he looked around to see if anyone had been witnessing what he was seeing. A client, right? This was a client, wasn’t it? Armand threw his dust rag over his shoulder and tried to discreetly sit in his seat as if he’d been like that all along.

He picked up a clipboard that had nothing on it, pretending to write something down while sneaking a glance at the woman whose eyes were searching the television screen. She sat primly and proper, back straight that after noticing it, Armand tried to mimic. She was dressed smartly, like an office lady. She wore a two-piece blazer and a pencil skirt the color of dark charcoal. Her legs were incredibly long and well-toned ending on black wedges with an inch-long heel. She held something in her hand, fingers long and dexterous with a French-tip manicure. Her hair was styled in a short bob, the color of honey-blonde. Her head swiveled to catch Armand’s gaze, locking him in place with eyes that seemed as gray as the weather outside. He looked like a deer in headlights, caught that he had been staring.

“W-Welcome to Dot and Dodger, Supernatural Investigations.” He welcomed, trying to cover up that he had been a curious onlooker, trying to imagine himself in the same outfit. “Can I help you?” he asked, eyes flicking on the screen as D.A.D. fed him a script to read from. D.A.D. flashed the thumbs up emoji before the screen went blank.

The woman stood up from her seat and walked over. Her heels made an impressive clack, clack, clack sound and Armand had to hold himself back from peering over the counter to watch them. She slid the piece of paper she was holding onto the top of the counter. She had what could be considered a triangle shaped face with high cheekbones and thickly, arch-shaped brows. A smokey appearance, almost. She had a stern looking face when she wasn’t smiling, but she smiled here. “I’d like to apply for a job if you have any openings.”

Armand’s mouth opened and he gaped, eyes darting back to his computer screen. There was a stick figure on screen who shrugged before it flashed “CALL DOT OR DODGER OVER” as a suggestion. That was immediately what he had done.

Dot didn’t know what to expect when Armand rounded the corner looking really flustered and stuttering about the lady in the waiting room. But she understood completely when she entered the room and saw for herself. She always expected to tower over women in the streets but this was a surprise; their visitor was almost two heads taller than Dot. That was good because the heels had been giving her extra height. The woman then held out her hand, indicating that she was, “Evi Senft. I’m wondering if there’s an opening here. I’d like to apply for a job. I brought my résumé.”

Dot gaped, first sticking her hand in Evi’s (from which she had a very impressive handshake) and then taking the résumé from her to gloss over. Dot was tempted to hire her on the spot despite not knowing what she was applying for. It was a good thing Dodger had shown up. Standing behind her, he startled Dot by asking, “What’s your experience in this field of work?”

“It should all be there in the résumé.”

Dodger’s gaze didn’t waver, “But I’m asking you.”

Evi smiled, not phased by his heavy stare or the semi-challenging way he phrased his statement. She focused on Dot, though, as she spoke. “I’m an accountant. I don’t want to assume but I take it you don’t have anybody to handle the financial aspects of your business? I can do the taxes and take care of the budget if you were looking for anyone to take care of simple stuff like that. I can also do complex tasks if you’d prefer, anything to help run your business efficiently in terms of number crunching.”

“Taxes and budgeting is simple to you?” Dot said with amazement. “I just always have Dodger do my tax related things. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Yes, indeed.” Dodger looked down at the top of Dot’s head who was still focused on Evi. Then he turned his gaze onto the woman in question. “If I’m already doing the taxes and budgeting for the company, what else could you offer that I’m not doing already?”

Dot nudged Dodger in the ribs since he was right there. “Don’t be rude. She’s qualified to do math stuff like this.”

“There’s no downside to hiring me,” Evi stated. Now she seemed to be challenging Dodger. “I have no doubt you could continue doing the budgeting and taxes for your company but how much more efficient would it be to leave that to me so you could focus on subjects that would need your attention with one less thing on your plate?”

“She has a point,” Dot pointed out, turning around to give Dodger a grin. “That’d leave you to a lot more free time if you just let someone else worry about the expenses every once in a while. Free time you can dedicate to the cases we get in the future.”

“I would be more than glad to accommodate including you into anything I record, sort, or discover as your assistant. I’ve had plenty of experience dealing with government agency records processing data. If anything, I’d be more of a benefit than a hindrance.”

Dodger had gently pulled the résumé from Dot’s grasp to studying it for himself. With Dot backing Evi already, he had a feeling he knew where the decision rested. But he still wanted to make sure for himself in case anything stuck out in the résumé that Evi might have been able to say in this particular line of questioning. But so far, everything he saw was a impressive and he had no reason to turn her down. He gave the résumé to Dot.

“You might be too overqualified to work here.” he gave in.

“But I do want to work here,” Evi pointed out. “if you were honestly considering me.”

“Of course we are!” Dot interrupted, giving Evi her best grin. “Don’t listen to Dodger, he’s just territorial when it comes to his stuff. But this will be a good fit, you’d make a great addition to the company!”

Evi looked relieved, her stern features relaxing. “Does that mean I’m hired?”

“Absolutely!” Dot said, handing the résumé back. She usually praised herself for her judgement in people and Evi was giving off no warning signs, no red flags, or bad feelings that there was something off about her. It probably didn’t help that Dot was attracted to her and that may have clouded her judgement just a teeeeeny tiny bit, but she was more excited over the prospect of hiring an employee! “Uh, we’ll have you start tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly fine. I honestly hadn’t considered I’d be interviewed on the spot but I’m glad it turned out this way.”

“There’s still the manner of sitting down with you on an official capacity and sorting out payrate and the like,” Dodger pointed out, bringing Dot back to the business aspect of hiring people. “of course, afterwards, I’ll go over with you our budget and tax returns. Anything else related to our business in terms of account management.”

Dot perked up, “Oh! Oh! I’ll work to clearing out one of these rooms and you can have your own office!”

Evi looked to be a bit overwhelmed, “My own office? I’m just starting out, is that okay?”

Armand smiled, seated in his receptionist area. “This is my office and I started a few days ago.”

Dot laughed, coming around to Armand’s space just so she could hug him around the neck. It always prided her that he seemed so proud in his responsibility and he was doing such a great job being the best little receptionist he could. “That’s absolutely right. This is completely Armand’s office.”

Evi watched the two, her features softening a smidgen. It seemed to comfort the thought of obtaining her own office on her first day—starting tomorrow—and the conversation was soon eased into another topic.

“How did you hear we were hiring, anyway?” Dodger asked as the thought struck him. “We haven’t put any ads in the paper yet. Or made any other circulation in the job fair industry.”

“I was referred here,” Evi admitted. “somebody at the Agency sent me this way.”

Dot spoke too soon. A red flag went up as soon as Evi finished her statement.

“Someone… at the Agency sent you to work for us?”

“I had applied at the Agency and was denied,” she added.

This came as a startle to both Dot and Dodger. Dot was the one who asked, “Who on earth would deny these specs?” she indicated the résumé she assumed was impressive enough to win over Dodger.

Evi laughed, “For much the same reason Mr. Mac Alister gave me. I was too overqualified.”

Dodger said, “…I guess that makes sense. That’s not quite unusual to hear. Sometimes people have to dumb down their applications in order to get a job but… I thought the Agency accepts basically anybody that shows promise.”

“Well, the Agency has its rejects too.” Dot stated with contempt. Evi and Dodger glanced over, surprised at the tone in her voice. She sounded personally betrayed. Dodger looked sympathetic as Dot continued, “It’s not unusual at all. We should just put it out there that we’ll be willing to welcome the Agency’s rejects.”

“I’ve never considered myself a reject before,” Evi started. “but it doesn’t sound like too bad a position to be if this is where I end up.”

Dot smiled, genuinely.

By the time Evi left, Dot had a lot more to think about. Before she had a chance to touch down on it, though, Fury walked into their office. Sans Stephen, this time.

“I hope you’ve come to terms with what we’ve asked of you. I’d hate to have made the trip all the way down here for nothing.”

Dot turned around from the fridge as Fury filled the breakroom’s door. She took in a deep breath, calming her heart before saying, “I really hope you’re not talking to me in that tone, Mr. Nicholas Fury.”

Fury surprised her by chuckling, taking a seat across from her as she sat down with her lunch. “I’ll admit you’re the only one who can seem to match me in a stern enough tone to make me think over my own. But I’m seriously asking you. Have you?”

“Would you have really given us the choice if we wanted to opt out?” Dot countered. Her meal sat untouched and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to be able to eat until this conversation was over.

“No. But you’re not going to, are you?”

Dot sighed; a deep breath in and a long breath out. “I just wanted to be a quiet little nobody who occasionally broke into people’s homes and did some detective work.”

“You can still do those things.” Fury stated which caused Dot to look up at him with an expression filled with sarcasm. “We’re not asking you to become this huge movement. You can still do your private eye thing but you’re working with us. Think of it like, scratching my back and I’ll scratch yours. We’re each other’s eyes and ears on our respective planets, a partnership.”

“But your organization is attached to your government; how does that weed out the corruption if we’re doing as you’re swaying us to do? We’re more or less okayed by the government to be our own business but we don’t really work for them but on a lesser scale. I mean, …right?”

Fury saying nothing didn’t reassure her. Dot tried another angle, “…I thought you said this was a partnership.”

It was Fury’s turn to sigh. “We’re still working things out. The people I answer to don’t know I’m setting this kind of thing up. And the government you’re sanctioned with, the government you know, don’t know you’re doing anything either.”

“I can see the logic in that, I think, but what happens if this blows up in our faces.”

“It can’t.”

“But it could.”

“It just can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because we can’t fail.”

Dot was beginning to see what sort of person Nick Fury was as she stared at him from across the table. He was so adamant on this idea, he was almost desperate. She was beginning to feel like the reluctant hero trope.

“Alright. We can agree to being a part of this… whatever you’re calling this—”

“The Avengers Initiative.”

Dot’s eyes widened, “Didn’t you already do that on your planet?”

Fury shrugged, “It’s like a side B.”

“This isn’t a cassette tape.”

“I’ll work on the name,” Fury said, dismissing the issue. It was clearly something he was still working on and unknown to Dot, he just said the first thing that popped in his mind. He continued, “Anyway, on the basis that you’d agree—”

“Even though we had no choice—”

“On the basis that you’d do what I said ‘cause I said it, I’m going to give you your first mission.” He ignored the look Dot was giving him, for his own good or otherwise was to be determined, to reach into his trench coat and slide a file across the table at her. “I can’t always meet up with you like this so some missions are going to be handed down by Doctor Strange with that handy two-way dimensional teleport thing you guys got goin’ on in one of your rooms around here.”

Dot eyed the file but she didn’t touch it. Not yet. She still had attitude on her face from Fury’s previous retort, “If we’re going to be partners, I hope you can expect the same level of sass I’m going to be giving you right back, Mr. Bossypants.”

A grin spread across Fury’s face, clearly enjoying the banter. “Now I’m going to have to take some time to think this over.”

Dot shook her head good-naturedly as she watched Fury stand up. He walked to the breakroom’s door and barely got around the corner when Dot heard, “What the—what god-awful demon possessed you to wear that?”

Dot was curious, pushing her food away to stand and peer around the corner. She had to laugh out loud—Armand was dressed in an office lady outfit, much like Evi had been wearing earlier. He must have raided her closet and that’s what he had been doing this entire time. She could see that while nothing was wrong with his outfit, Armand had tried to do his make-up like Evi’s—except he didn’t know how to apply make-up on his face. It was caked on in a thick layer with dark rings around his eyes and dark blush that hollowed out his cheeks. To top it off, he had very angry looking eyebrows and apparently startled Fury on his way out.

“What?” Armand asked, looking around. “Don’t I look chic?”

[becumsh]

Trevilieu prompt : "Stop moving for God's sake, you're only making it worse!"

Humour and angst is my favourite combination of flavours, add your ownseasonings to taste. I’m clichéd, but ugh. (this turned out to be longer than I was intended it to be)

“Stop moving for God’s sake, you’re only making it worse!”

Treville for the life of him didn’t really understand how you can make this worse. So he continued to do whathe’s always done: ignore Richelieu and proceed to do what he thinks is best.

The foundation of their over a decade long relationship, come to thinkabout it.

“Treville, stop this rightsecond!”

Treville was a straight-forward man; he approached things with asingle-minded determination. He couldn’t afford talking while he worked.

“Shut up,” he finally gritted out. “You’re distracting me.”

“And you are risking bleeding out to death sooner than it is necessary.”

Treville stopped to take a shallow breath and turned to his source ofincessant distraction and annoyance.

Richelieu raised his eyebrow and pointedly gestured at theirsurroundings.

It was Louis’ idea, to create a diversion, when the English dépêche to La Rochelle wereintercepted. At first, he was planning to burn the city to the ground, havingforgotten that it’s exactly what his troops had been trying to do for the pastmonths to little avail.

‘A plan to kidnap my First Minister,’ Louis raged.

‘Your Majesty,’ Anne tried to reason her husband. ‘I’m sure it’s amistake. George Buckingham would never have stooped so low; we’ve met him atthe ball.’

Louis pouted and when Anne had her eyes elsewhere (unfortunately toFrance and its future heir, it almost always the case), mouthed something verysimilar to a condescending ‘women’.

For he loved his Queen, Treville was in full agreement with the Kingthen. Richelieu said nothing on the matter.

‘I cannot believe you take such matters so lightly, that’s not you!’Treville seethed later, when they been on their way from Aytré.

‘Oh, you know that we are still waiting for the fort’s plans, I cannotleave the castle,’ Richelieu hissed back.

Louis ordered to spread the rumour that Richelieu and he were to head toÎle de Ré, ‘Therewill be a pleasant surprise awaiting for these fools. Leave enough men with theCardinal to fend off an attack, Captain, prepare an ambush at Pont-de-la-Pierre.’

In another lifetime if such heresy existed, Treville mused often, Louiswould’ve made a brilliant military commander. In another distant, distantlifetime.

Of course a small patrol of bloody Huguenots attempted to attack thissmall, dingy, pokey, damp, slimsy castle. Of course, because it was Treville’sregiment, thank you very much, that small patrol of damned Huguenots wasdefeated and a word to other musketeers was sent.

That sequence of events brought Treville to now, to a stalemate. Theycouldn’t leave because they risked running straight into other Huguenotswandering about, nor actually attempt to do anything but wait forreinforcements.

As Richelieu would gladly point out later, Treville forgot to mentionthat almost all his men had fallen. As Richelieu would gladly point out later,Treville himself had been wounded, poorly and hastily bandaged himself, and howcould he take it so lightly was beyond him, Richelieu. Actually, Richelieu hadbeen pointing it out to him for the past fifteen minutes.

In short, Treville was livid, bleeding, and in a terribly foul mood.

“Will you sit for a moment?” Richelieu asked primly, as if they werehaving their usual argue in Paris, not in a dingy, pokey, and sorry excuse fora castle in the middle of nowhere. “Please.”

“They might have the reinforcements standing by.”

“Jean.”

Treville winced. His side throbbed unpleasantly, and he could feel theblood soaking through the cloth. He sank down next to Richelieu, who had theaudacity to look as unperturbed on a dirty cold floor as he would during theaudience in front of the King.

“Let me,” Richelieu gently uncovered the wound to re-wrap the bandages. “Itlooks far worse. In fact, it looks absolutely terrible.”

“You overreact. I don’t feel as bad. I’ve been through worse.” May be hedid feel a little bit light-headed and tired.

“If you don’t get help within half an hour, you’ll be dead,” Richelieusaid flatly and pressed painfully against the gash. “We can’t stop thebleeding.”

“If you weren’t so stubborn and just left for the Île, none of that would havehappened.” Treville slumped against the wall. “You are fussing.”

“Andyou are, quite literally, dying to let Buckingham and the Huguenots to destroyour troops.”

“Tenyears ago you weren’t so dramatic,” Treville said.

“Ten years ago you were a reckless Montauban hero who could afford asmany wounds as he deemed necessary to get a favour from the King,” Richelieucut off sharply. “You are the Captain of the King’s Musketeers; you can’tafford dying becauseyour personal feelings cloud your judgement. This is not Vicomté deSaint-Antonin, this is not Montpellier.”

“He wasabout to stab you! If you’ve forgotten, this entire charade was set up toensure to prevent it from happening!”

“I had apistol! There was no need for you to rush headlong to him, unarmed, becausewith all due respect to your abilities, Captain, the odds for an unarmed Catholicagainst a Huguenot with a sword are not favourable.” Richelieu was breathinghard, barely keeping his temper at bay. Treville grunted when his fingers duginto his side with way too much force. Treville covered Richelieu’s hand withhis own. It trembled, every so faintly, because you didn’t survive in a worldof politics for long if you couldn’t control your body language.

But you didn’tspend ten years with a man and failed to learn his every tick and tell.

“Armand,calm down.” It was hard enough to focus and keep awake without Richelieupanicking. Oh, yes, how he could forget, the Cardinal didn’t panic. He, asalways, merely pointed out the obvious.

“I hopeyour new recruit, that chevalier, is as good at sewing as he claims.”

“Armand.”

“I amperfectly calm,” Richelieu said. He exhaled and then breathed in slowly anddeliberately.

“No, youare not.” Treville took his hand that was grasping at the dirtied folds of hisrobes and gripped it as tightly as he could manage. “For once in your life, behonest. You look even worse than I must. If I’m not careful I might believethat you worry about me.”

Richelieuturned his head and stared at him.

“Jean, youare unbelievable,” he said at last. “Of course I worry. You’ve been prancingaround the castle, looking for some imaginary Huguenots who must be lurking inthe corner. You are wounded and bleeding. And if your musketeers won’t be intime, you’ll bleed out within an hour. Why shouldn’t I worry?”

Richelieu’svoice cracked at the end. Treville didn’t like it.

“It’s beenwell over a decade,” Treville said gently. He never thought he’d have to begentle with Richelieu.

“It doesn’teven correlate to this situation in any way.”

“You know, we’ve been through this for more times than it is prudent forthe First Minister,” Treville chuckled. “I thought it was you who insisted thatpolitics doesn’t have as much swashbuckling as one might think.”

“It doesn’t.” Richelieu slipped his hand around Treville’s waist to keepthe bandage in place. “Unless you and your reckless musketeers who don’t careabout the integrity—”

“Well, I care about you,” Treville attempted to shrug but decidedagainst it. “And the integrity of your body parts.”

Richelieu fell silent for a while. The stone against the back of hishead was cold, unforgiving, and too vertical for his liking. He decided to leanto the side in search of a better prop.

“So,” Richelieu cleared his throat, “so you decided to be a recklessfool because you care?”

“I thought you didn’t need me to spell it out.” The shoulder under hischeek was bony and uncomfortable under layers of expensive fabric. Trevillefelt Richelieu’s fingers move in the tight grip of his hand. “I thought we didn’tneed to, you know, talk.”

“I think,” Richelieu’s touch was feathery-light, trembling. “I think, onthe contrary, we have talked too little.”

“Well,” Treville gasped. “Here’s an opportunity of your lifetime. I canneither walk away nor scream at you.”

“Don’t,” Richelieu asked. “Please, just… just don’t.”

Treville, for probably the first time, relented.

“Themusketeers will be here soon,” he said after a while, between laboured andshort breaths. “We still have time on our hands to kill.”

“What doyou propose?” Richelieu replied tersely, entirely focused on keeping Treville fromfalling.

Ten years was such a long time, long enough to admit that there was morebehind Richelieu’s worry than simple… well, knowing Richelieu, there was hardlyanything else behind Richelieu’s worry.

“If I promise you that I will be fine, will you stop?”

“You can’t promise me that,” Richelieu huffed, his voice thin andpapery. “There are too many variables. How fast your regiment got the message.The speed of their horses and how rested they were. If you won’t bleed out onmy robes before they arrive.”

“There’s a called hope. You should try it sometimes.” Treville winced.

“I maintain that hope stayed in Pandora’s Box for the better.” said Richelieutightly. His hand that was pressing against the gash on Treville’s side must benumb already and most likely covered in bloody crust.

Treville didn’t really know how answer that, so they fell silent for awhile. He tried to keep his breathing deep and even, fighting against thetemptation to just close his eyes and fall asleep. Richelieu propped his templeon top of Treville’s head.

Ten years was way too long to continue an affair of any kind. Especiallyif the stakes were so high. Treville rose up the ranks to the point where hecouldn’t be a thoughtless young cadet who cared only about excitement of thebattlefield. There were decisions to be made. There were decisions to fighttooth and nail against. Treville couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone butRichelieu.

Sentiment. Personal issues clouding his judgement. Care. All things thatdidn’t belong in the world of politics.

Ten years was too long to continue this.

“I hate it,” Richelieu suddenly said, jostling him out of his half-lucidreverie.

“Hate what?”

“Waiting. Stressing. Worrying. Doing nothing makes me feel—”

“—helpless?”

“—out of control.” Richelieu bit his lip. “I don’t like not controllingthings.”

“I have always thought you had an adventurous streak in you. But I waswrong; I mistaken it for a suicidal one.” Treville smiled.

“Jean…” a faint wisp of warmth brushed his temple, as if somebodypressed a light kiss on his skin.

“Yes, I know.” Treville lifted their joined hands to his lap. “I know.”

“No, not that.” Richelieu huffed at his inability to express thingsplainly.

“What? Hear that? Told you my boys won’t let us down.”

“Promise me.”

The sound of hooves was drawing closer. Treville’s grip on Richelieu’sfingers was still strong and sure.

Ten years was too long for any relationship to last. Hope, amongst manythings, wasn’t meant to last that long.

And yet.

“I promise.”

[forged-through-trials]

Despite Ruin’s misgivings, I managed to convince him to chill in a room at the Merchant’s Inn, while I saw to business that night. Ruin: “Stay out of trouble, this time.” Trials: “No promises!” Ruin: “...” He shook his head. “Then try to keep the body-count to a minimum. Or at least, don’t join the body-count.”

Once I had Nanny-Ruin off of my back, it was late enough that I could make for the Garden of Daeraloth to meet up with Armand Christophe. Surely, by now, I’d moved enough hot merch to get in the guild’s good-books. Armand: “I’m glad you stopped by. I have a... situation that you might be able to help with.” Trials: “If it’s about an alchemy accidnet; it’s the same advise they give for eating beans; snuff out your torch and crack a window.” Armand: “...” He eyed his torch briefly, before shaking his head. “No, this is about Hieronymus Lex. He actually collected taxes from everyone living here in the Waterfront!” Trials: I snorted at him with disgust. “Did he also call us all freeloaders while he did it?” Armand: “Yeah, and he talked about Bootstraps, too. Anyway, we need you to recover the money he stole from the poor.” Trials: “I’m totally on board, but may I ask why we’re doing this? I thought thieves were all in it for themselves.” Armand: “It has been tradition for a long time that the city not collect taxes from the poor of the Waterfront. It wouldn’t be worth the effort, and it would draw the ire of the Gray Fox, who has promised his protection to those of the Waterfront. Lex has broken that tradition, and thus tripped the Fox’s protection. We are thieves, but we are true to our word. So we ask you to do this task, as it will show the Elite who really runs this city. It’s a matter of pride.” Trials: “Huh.” I clicked my tongue, pensively. “Never had much pride. Never had much use for it. But I can understand wanting to help people. I’m in!” Armand: “Good. Find out where he’s keeping the taxes, and bring them to me. I’ll also need the tax records of what each citizen paid so we can return it.”

I had my job, and good ol’ Puny Ancus was sleeping on a bedroll near the Garden. It was a quick matter to hit him up for info, and after gracing his hands with a little gold, he pointed me in the right direction. The ‘South Watchtower’ in the Temple District.

Oh boy! Breaking into a guards’ tower seems like a really, really bad idea for a thief. But it’s the job the Fox has charged me with, and besides that, it’s to help people in need. So, in I go!

...yup, this really was a bad idea. And apparently these guys never sleep. Thankfully, I was born under the stars of the Shadow, and in my surprise, my Birthsign’s power kicked in, and rendered me invisible. The guard was confused. Understandably so. I’m sure he thought he’d seen a dorky Argonian just a moment ago, but now there was nothing there. He stomped around a bit, searching for me, but I was able to slip passed him and head further up into the tower.

At the top of the Watchtower, I found Hieronymus Lex’s private quarters. The man himself was asleep in the bed nearby. I thought briefly to dunk on him by picking his pocket, but thought better of it. I had a job to do, and robbing his desk right under his nose was probably just as good of a dab as picking his pocket while he slept. It only took a little jiggle of the locks to crack open Lex’s desk, and after that, I was plundering the pittance he’d collected in taxes, as well as the records. It’s actually pretty sad; I think the largest sum was from someone named “Ormil”, who got shaken down for a mere seven coins. And someone named “Hillod” apparently got roughed up for being broke! Because, apparently, having no money is a crime is this Hist-forsaken city! Huh. Someone named “Myvryna Arano” was listed as ‘exempted’. I wonder what that’s all about? But I had what I needed, and quickly I slipped back out the way I came in, rushing my way over toward the Waterfront and the Garden of Daeraloth to report my success to Armand. Armand: “Have you recovered those taxes?” Trials: “Sure did!” I handed over the records and the bag of gold. Armand: “Ah! The Gray Fox will be very pleased. We will make sure this gets back to the people!” Trials: I hold up a fist and beat my chest. “Yeah, power to the people!” Armand: “Can you believe that fool, Lex, even bothered to collect this paltry sum? You can keep it. I merely wanted the Watch to know they went too far.” Trials: “And your way is a much more effective strategy than my plan; making snarky comments behind their backs about how they’re all fat and lazy.” For my efforts, Armand promoted me to “Footpad”... kind of a crap title, especially considering how many bandits and highway men have threatened to ‘turn me into a pair of boots’. Well, I’ll just need to hurry up and get promoted out of it. Armand: “Good, glad you’re eager to move up the ranks. We have another job for you. The guild has received a ‘request’ to obtain a unique statuette. It is a bust of Llathasa Indarys, the recently slain Countess of Cheydinhal.” Trials: “...’Luh-Lah-Thah-Sah’? You mean the extra ‘L’ isn’t silent?” Armand: “No, and neither was she. Why do you think someone wanted her dead? “Anyway, we need you to go to Cheydinhal and pinch it. You’ll be paid a modest fee for your efforts. Now get to it!” Well, now I know where I’m headed after Bravil. But for now, I reasoned it was worth it to, first, get some rest. Then, the following morning, I went about to see if there was anything else to do in the Imperial City. I still had some hot merch to move, but with Bruma, ironically, too hot to travel to, I needed an alternative to Ongar.

Huh. A shop in a back alley, next to a Bathhouse? Looks like the kind of place that might move merch without asking too many uncomfortable questions. Worth a shot, I think. In, I went, and I met the proprietor, Derrien Venoit. Carefully, I broached the subject of moving some of my ‘wares’. Of course, I normally wouldn’t dare show hot-stuff to any usual merchant. Even I’m not that silly! But he had that kind of face that told me he was cool, so I offered him one of my specialty items.

Derrien: “Now, ain’t it funny? A little bird just told me that some of this stuff here was stolen, and now you stroll right into my shop and sell it to me.” Trials: I sweated. “IDidn’tDoEet!" Derrien: “It’s cool, my scaly lass. In fact, I’d certainly have no qualms about buying other things you’ve ‘acquired’. Quite on the contrary. I might even have some tips for you about where to find worthwhile loot.” Trials: I furrowed my brow at him. “...whoa, we talkin’ some kind of deal, here? Because I might be inter--are you a guard!?“ I got in his face, and jabbed a finger into his chest. “Because you gotta tell me if you are! That’s the rules.” Derrien: He reeled back, but smiled, and brushed my hand off of his chest. “Oh, I’m no guard, believe me. I’m on the level, babe. “Here’s the deal; you pay me for information. I tell you about a hot score. You pinch the item, and sell it to me. You get what you can haggle for it, plus a modest Finder’s Fee. Then I turn around and sell the item to an interested buyer for a profit. We both win, wouldn’t you say?” Trials: I considered the offer for a moment, scratching my chin, before laying gold on the table. “I’m in. Whatcha got for me?” I know I promised Ruin I’d stay outta trouble, but this is just too good of an opportunity to pass up. He laid out the first gig for me; Talos Plaza resident Ulen Athram bought a big, gaudy ring for his wife. It’s a bit too heavy and cumbersome to wear all of the time, so the pair keep it in their house. Derrien’s buyer wants that ring... because apparently they just like trashy baubles that are more showy than practical. Whatever. It’s none of my business. I just need to pinch the item and get it back to Derrien for sale. Who knew that taking a risk on selling so stolen props to some random bloke would pay off with more work? The job in question was pretty quick and easy. I arrived just in time to see the man of the house, Ulen, leave the home. Even though it was broad daylight, no one was looking my way save for a few beggars, and I already knew the beggars were cool, so I broke in. The lady of the house was still in, but she hadn’t noticed me. I moved like a shadow, and was upstairs in short order. Searching room after room, I found a locked jewelry case... with an especially complex lock. Curses! Even with the new picks I bought from Shady Sam, this lock was, perhaps, beyond me.

But I wasn’t going to be stone-walled. Not by some stupid lock. So I tried, and tried, and tried, continuing to rattle those tumblers. Jiggling my pick around in the lock, I got a feel for it, little by little learning a thing or two about how the locks were structured, what it felt like when you hit them in juuuuuust the right spots... asking the locks out for coffee and Sweet Rolls this Friday, that sort of thing. Finally...! [Critical Success!] I’ll be the first to admit, I got lucky. I slipped that pick in exactly the right spot, bumped the tumblers in just the right way, guessed the right kind of coffee the lock liked best, and it all just clicked, and the jewelry box popped open for me. Within, I found the ring... by the Nine was it a big’un. It weight a whole pound! I think you could melt it down and get a whole brick of gold out of it. I swiped it and stole out of the building quickly. Though after buying my hot goods earlier, Derrien didn’t have the gold to pay for the ring, so he told me he’d hit up the bank tonight and pay me tomorrow, and to just sit on it for now.

[wrence]

Get Your Beatles On (Part I of II)

LISTEN: https://www.mixcloud.com/lawrence-laferla/get-your-beatles-on-part-i-of-ii/

This show is a compilation put together by remixer MP3J.

1. DJ Z-Trip (Soulwax) Yesterday https://www.youtube.com/user/djztrip1 00:00

2. The Monkees (Go Home Productions) Paperback Believer https://youtu.be/W83InivbUSQ 03:23

3. Guns N' Roses (Jimmi Jammes) Sgt Pepper's Paradise https://youtu.be/Rbm6GXllBiw 05:44

4. Yazoo (CCC) Don't Go Flying, Jude https://youtu.be/HlxOmeG_Zlw 09:43

5. Singers & Players (Twin Freaks) Fool on the Hill https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLo6OEO0K4o 15:34

6. Hardrive (Masters At Work) Get Back, Deep Inside https://youtu.be/OJ0WL4TJVCg 20:55

7. Richard X (Aggrol) Eleanor Rigby's Rock Jacket https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMo2MNXjbpA 26:20

8. Kelly Clarkson (Jason Nevins Rock Da Edit) Since U Been Gone, Eleanor Rigby https://youtu.be/RUg6ny2N5xI 27:02

9. Armand Van Helden, Gary Numan, L'Trim My Other Car Is A Beatle  (Chaos Productions) https://youtu.be/6InqSDxOa7Q 31:35

10. Recap, Jackson 5, Gabriel Saban & Philippe Briand, Worship Service Resources (CCC) Want, Pity, Vortex, Evolution, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms https://youtu.be/HbayjIcsrQM https://youtu.be/4UJHvSwYP8c https://youtu.be/ZEZXU-UVdtk 36:36

11. Lady Pank, Christina Aguilera (Autopilot) Marchewkowe: Rebootified Prudence https://youtu.be/4GuhT6NEP0I https://youtu.be/7rwf7dnwRg4 40:36

12. Keane and Wings (Faultside) Let Keane In https://youtu.be/D8dqqdc-lrE 43:16

13. Mogwai and Kid Loco (Soundhog) A Day In Tracy's Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY30q1Sx7qc 49:32

14. Mountains Of Boutros Working Class Hero https://youtu.be/a5UPuoUIXUg 56:12

15. Queen (Go Home Productions) Imagine The Game https://youtu.be/1im_ql7lOkI 01:00:25

16. The Chemical Brothers (Lenlow) Let Norwegians Be https://youtu.be/s5FyfQDO5g0 01:01:55

17. Sir Mixalot Baby Got Silly Love Songs Back https://youtu.be/xl9LpxjwYOc 01:04:46

18. Atomic Kitten  (Go Home Productions) Get Back https://youtu.be/mpIsPjiIXNk 01:08:54

19. Sane Chuck (Loo + Placido) Black Beatles https://youtu.be/fCpBZf_s5FY 01:11:43

20. Psyche Magical Mystery Panther https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfK2WVaZIn5ygz2zMS9sA5vfp-JWZsRRV 01:14:40

With the above compilation (each track including something Beatles), MP3J is curating some of the best old audio from the 2000s, specifically from the Get Your Bootleg On (GYBO) community of mashup artists who created "bastard pop." GYBO was a forum. It died about eight or nine years ago after an intense 10-year run in the 00s. "It began as a simple message board for bedroom DJs. Partnerships were formed, skills were developed, and in some cases, careers were launched." https://www.popmatters.com/73662-get-your-bootleg-on-a-mashup-mystery-solved-2496020520.html

Here's the closed site itself. http://www.gybo-v3.co.uk/

About its demise https://www.radioclash.com/archives/2012/08/20/rc-224-gybo-rip-part-one-the-new-skool/

And here https://www.radioclash.com/archives/2012/08/15/whats-your-favourite-bootlegsmashups-of-the-last-10-years/

Do you long for yesterday?

Up until around ten years ago, the internet felt like a web of small communities. Completely independent message boards and forums felt like clubs or cocktail parties, little scenes where subcultures could gather, evolve and thrive.

But, all things must pass.

The era of independent blogging then morphed into huge platforms. By the end of the 00s, these communities were dead, replaced by enormous networks with major apps for all devices — Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, TikTok, etc. The world became one enormous cocktail party owned by a handful of entrepreneurs and their funders. As individual netizens, we came to feel like a billion individuals in a global club.

There are places I remember. But... Everybody knows there's nothing doing. Everything is closed, it's like a ruin. Of course some of the old independent forums still exist, but they’re like ghost towns.

We've lost those old 00s internet subcultures, but recently we see Facebook nudging us all into Facebook Groups. That’s the closest we come nowadays to the old school message board communities of yesteryear. In 2020, some of the subcultural feeling is being revived, but a lot of it remains lost.

The past decade saw the rise of the idea that "disruption" can be something positive. I've never been a fan of heavily funded disruptors. The rise of the big apps wasn't a grass roots movement. It was the growth of internet monopolies that effectively killed off all the old, independent communities and blogs. Hundreds of thousands of small, independent internet communities were "disrupted" and coopted by a handful of apps that have become houshold names, all funded by billions in venture capital. On Facebook, you can find congregations of Beatles fans in general, and you can find lots of audiophiles posting pictures of record labels, but more particular groups like those for remixers aren't big enough to thrive on Facebook. So, remixing is a culture that's gone extinct. There are still Beatle remixer groups such as the one on Tapatalk. But it's no longer very active. It's too far off the highway. Action is on Facebook. Facebook is like THE major superhighway. Very minor apps sit there on your phone, but how often do you remember to open them? They're where the action isn't.

In this way, 00s internet culture turns out to have been so different from the 10s culture and how 20s culture is to become. Yesterday: quirky, funky, subcultures existed. Now it looks as though some subcultures have lost their independence, their quirk and their funk. Each of us is now a facebooker among billions. You're on your own. The once thriving GYBO subculture is dead.

These MixCloud sets, guest curated by MP3J (a veteran of the mashup/bastard pop/GYBO movement of the 00s), look back at how fun it must have been.

Part II of II is coming soon. Subscribe to Wrence Fer and Friends to get notification. https://www.mixcloud.com/lawrence-laferla/