#Apparently I got really sick an' eventually passed out. I've been in and out all week but for me I've been at the carnival the whole time...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
kremy-lecroux · 29 days ago
Note
ARE YALL HOMELESS AGAIN
I'm back in the fuckin' feywild again.
37 notes · View notes
fairuzfan · 1 year ago
Note
i seriously don't even have the words to describe what it's felt like as a native person learning about "holocaust exceptionalism" or whatever for the first time during all of this
the first time i saw a tweet talking about how it wasn't appropriate to compare any other genocide (and specifically this person was talking about the native american genocide(s), along with several others i've seen since & most of the "historians" who go this route, too) to the holocaust because unlike in those cases, where there was a clear logical reason for the wholesale slaughter of millions of people, the holocaust was senseless! it was just killing innocent people for no reason, which is completely different from when they got rid of all those dumb indians standing in the way of Progress & wasting the precious resources the colonizers needed much more... i thought they were just some random dickhead saying intentionally terrible shit online for engagement
but then i just kept seeing people saying similar things, and eventually while reading up on palestinian history, i find out that this has apparently been a zionist (and in many cases non-zionist, which maybe feels even worse) talking point for decades now?
(and increasingly, over the last few weeks, i've seen it shift to this more broad claim that comparing any genocide to any other genocide is harmful, actually... which is such a dumb argument to try to pass off as genuine when, among other things, there's literally an entire field called "genocide studies" that it's honestly almost funny)
i can't think of anything in recent memory that's felt like such a brutal slap in the face as finding out the belief that the systematic murder of my people was a completely logical, understandable course of action--arguably a net positive, even, in the long run--is now and long has been this commonly held. i've felt sick since ever since. how do you say shit like that and not understand that you're implicitly rationalizing and, to some extent, justifying it? how do you not hear yourself?
forgive me, i know it must feel very eye-roll-worthy to have someone come yelling to you right now about how badly their people are treated by zionists, but every time i see someone parroting off an argument along these lines, i swear i can just feel my faith in humanity slip a little more lol
yeah, fuck off with this bullshit for sure
oh don't apologize, i totally understand why you would want to talk about this. thank you for sending this, and I'm so sorry that youre going through this. it really is an inconsiderate talking point at the very least.... i wish the best for you and yours in these times.
403 notes · View notes
seraphbliss · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
mar. 10
it's monday, so there's that. made it to another week! i have a lot to process. i haven't caught up with myself in that sense. the latter half of february got so weird, so fast. i've been embracing being a newgen, though, which is great. i love listening to emo songs everyone knows and realizing yeah these guys were onto something! i got to listen to tastemaker by bby goyard, which was decent. definitely a different direction than what i was expecting from him, but i can appreciate the attempt to try. i'll do a seraphtunes write up about it.
i've started drawing again. i've been doing graphic design since forever. it's one of my favorite hobbies. i realized, when applying to colleges back in september and october, that my portfolio is pretty lackluster. colleges expect diverse portfolios: sketches, studies, forms. i had, like, two complete pieces and hella graphics. i was worried that since a lot of my design works were for the same thing, that it would fall flat. but it didn't, and i got into my top school. it sucks that i couldn't really celebrate, because i know i can't accept the offer. it just isn't ideal to stay in america right now. i'm a superminority, i fear. they gon' get me... but of course, it's not like i can't come back. if things are fine a few years down the line, i can reapply. that school has a doctorate in design, and i'd like to teach the major eventually, so having a phd would be sick.
i just lost a close friend. irl moots i know you're SICK of me talking about this. get well soon i'm still grieving and therefore will still be talking about it. there's a seraphblogs post from the beginning of february that almost makes me think i'm naive. but i know now that i truly have every reason to be enraged. i lost a friend because their partner is an obsessive coward that can't get over the fact that i didn't want them. i'm realizing the true extent of how far people will go to hurt others. there is an evil in their partner that cannot be fixed. i do not ever want to know what it takes to be that dark hearted. i chose the high road last night, deciding against embarrassing them on every public platform i have. i hate being angry because i feel like it relinquishes my control.
my daily affirmation is: get over yourself. i have to remind myself of this throughout the day and into the night. i spent my latest check on clothes. most anticipating the i'llstopstabbingwhenyoustopscreaming chiodos zip up. i'm cool and pseudo-intellectual with all my weird outfits and accessories but i genuinely be going insane internally. my outfits are high effort but i rarely feel like putting in that effort. i do it for myself, but i'm just burnt out by everything. i just can't be bothered 6 days out of the week. truly the consequences of taking shit on the chin. i'm good at it because it's all i do but one day i'm gonna stop being the bigger person and i fear literally everyone will hate me. i'm really into curating my appearance and vibe on the internet. i'm starting to pass really well, seems like. guess it really is a mindset thing. i also basically got integrated into the black scene scene (lol) that exists on instagram. i don't know why i keep ending up in scene spaces i don't go here guys. love those freaks though.
i'm looking for another job. i love my coworkers, at least the ones that remain after everyone started to leave. finding out that one of my coworkers is nonbinary was so funny. i should've known—cis people don't listen to ecco2k AND sniper2004. they know the evilgiane lore. i found out from them that the reason our store manager left is because he highkey wasn't doing his job. apparently all of us are missing money bcs he wasn't putting in our hrs, and we also failed two inventories (technically not his fault people just steal like crazy). i liked my store manager a lot, but fucking with my money is cray. however, him leaving the store was basically a self sacrifice. if he hadn't, especially since the district manager is coming in the summer, district can come in at any time and fire all of us. it gets wild.
today, i look forward to watching a film with @/miotxro after classes on tuesday. i'll cook something nice if i feel up for it, or take it on the chin and have pork (my family ordered the most tanzphobic pizza. wdym pepperoni and bacon i Cannot Eat That) even though i don't want it. i'm going to draw and maybe clean when i get home. honestly, i just want to eat and take a 6hr nap. i feel uneasy about the week ahead.
8 notes · View notes
dr-abitat-blog · 6 months ago
Text
Day 9: "You look pretty pale."
T/W: Med whump, chronic illness, sickness, blood @ailesswhumptober Ian and Xander belong to @whumpsmith, Adam and Evan (mentioned) belong to @illustriousshadow, we love them so much x
Tumblr media
Looking at me as a stranger, you wouldn't think anything of me. Just a regular seventeen year old teen, nothing special, going about their life, hanging out with their friends and studying their butt off for exams — you know, the usual stereotypes of the 'normal' teenager. Except...I'm not exactly what you'd call 'normal'. First off...I have powers. Yes, I'm still pretty new to them, but I have them all the same. In fact, I'm a sidekick-in-training alongside my friends. They know me as Borealis, because of the beautiful green essence I can make, even if it is a less flashy version of Ash and Al's. Except my version also comes with the side effect of drawing in energy from others, draining it like a sponge. Pretty impressive, huh?
And as for the other reason why I'm not 'normal'...well, my health isn't exactly in the best shape. I was born infected with this rare virus, likely got it from my mom. Since then it's spread throughout my whole body. It's brought me a few close shaves with Death over the years. Each acute flare is worse than the last, until eventually...I won't make it through. Apparently I've only made it this far because of 'sacrifices' ...no one really tells me more than that.
But anyway, a part of me already accepts my destined fate —  but there is some good news. Somehow, the more energy I drain, the more it suppresses the virus, like...like I'm a parasite, feeding off of others to ensure my own survival — but that wouldn't exactly make me a 'good guy' if I went around slurping people's life force like smoothies, would it? No, thankfully, there are treatments that can help me. It's not a cure by any means, but it at least suppresses the virus enough for me to go about my days symptom-free. It increases the length of time between flares. It won't stop them, but it reduces the frequency and severity of it at least, allowing me to live my life as 'normally' as possible. I still have to watch myself, especially since the virus is contagious under certain circumstances. It spreads through bodily fluids —  especially blood. I have to be really careful not to pass it on. My energy levels also fluctuate and I need more time to rest after an injury as my body takes extra effort to heal and preserve itself. Sometimes I even have to lock myself away from my loved ones to stop me from accidentally leaching energy off of them when my reserves are running low. It's...tough, but we make it through the hard days together. 
...and today is one of those days.
"You alright, Kris?"
I peer tiredly across at Xander from my position at the handlers' desk. He sits upright in his chair, his dark eyes widening in concern. "You look pretty pale."
I bet I do.
The whole day, I've been getting the signs. Raging headache. Draining fatigue. Tight chest. All the red flags leading up to a flare. Unfortunately, I'm pretty renown for my stubborn nature and denial. I have to keep glancing at my notes repeatedly to just remember the simplest things. It's...not great, but I'm not well known for making wise decisions.
"I'm fine, Xan," I reassure him, drawing in a deep breath to get in a bit more oxygen. "Just a dumb cold. That's all."
I catch a glimpse of my face on the monitor. My skin is practically white. I'd probably be mistaken for Ghost at this point. "Seriously. Don't worry. I'm good..."
Xander just sends me a sceptical look. The concern isn't lost once as he approaches me, putting a hand on my shoulder. 
"Maybe we should get you to the Med Bay, just in case."
I merely grumble in response. His actions seem to have attracted the attention of a few of the other sidekicks in HQ. Cassie soon hurries over, blinking behind her glasses.
"Should I call Evan? You can't work if you're not well, Kris—"
"I'm fine," I emphasise, resisting the urge to snap, "Seriously, I'm just—hkk!"
I cough. My hand flies to my mouth, trying to catch it. I'm not quick enough to stop it before they see it.
Blood.
"Med Bay. Now.”
"O-okay okay...I'm going..."
I grab onto the desk for support, trying to steady myself. The world lurches around me as a faintness fills my head. I think I make it about five steps before my knees give way beneath me.
"Oh God—Kris!"
Chaos erupts around the room. I'm barely aware of anything. Just a mess of blurred faces, Hands reaching for me, turning me over, grabbing things, yelling out to one another.
"Emmett, call Evan! Dua find Ian—"
"I'm here. What happened?"
The familiar faced nurse drops to his knees beside me, feeling my pulse. 
"I-I don't know. They just started coughing up blood and then collapsed — it's the virus, isn't it?"
"From what I can smell, yes — possibly an acute flare."
I can't help but shiver slightly, coughing up more red onto the ground. Everything feels surreal around me. Fear starts to creep in.
Is this...the one? The meds had been working. Mirage said they couldn’t up them much more— am I...a-am I... going to...d-die…?
"Nngh..."
A revitalising energy spreads through me. I can't help but gasp in relief, breathing a little easier—
"All of you, step away. Get Evan and Maxwell, I'll take them through to the Med Bay — Xander, that includes you."
"B-but I can't just leave Kris to—"
"You can’t help them if you let them drain your energy whilst they're in this state."
Hands wrap around my body, gently lifting me up into a carry hold. I bring up another violent cough of blood. Ian barely flinches. "I'll update you all later. Just keep your distance and inform Frostbringer — gehen!”
I don't catch a single one of their faces as Ian hurries with me into the Med Bay. The other doctor — Elf Guy —  is there, along with Adam. Through the haze, I notice him stiffening immediately at the blood.
"Okoro's flare," Ian announces immediately, "They need oxygen and fluids — and get the protective equipment!"
The three of them quickly jump to work. Adam's blurred form rushes around to grab things, preferring to keep his distance as Ian and Elf Guy work on me. I gasp as the oxygen mask smothers my face. The suffocating sensation is horrible. At the same time, needles prick at my skin, getting venous access. The fluids go in, then the pain relief. Observations are taken. Masked faces stare back at me.
"Krissy, can you hear me?"
Ian leans in. I can just about find the energy to nod. "You're going to be alright. We'll control the flare and keep you under close monitoring."
Not working...i-it's not working...
"Adam, contact Mirage and ask her to jump here as soon as she can. Krissy, is there anyone I can call for you?"
call...
I feel my eyes drooping from exhaustion. My chest rises and falls rapidly as my body works to get the extra oxygen. More specks of blood spatter the inside of the mask. Ian moves it away from my face, delicately cleaning it. Tears start to brim in my eyes. Nausea grows in my stomach. Everything is so uncertain...a-and it scares me.
"Nngh...A-Ash...M-Mom...I-I want...w-want..."
I gasp again at the pain flaring through my chest. Gingerly, Ian places the mask back over my face and gives my shoulder a small squeeze. 
"Of course. They'll be here soon. Just rest for now. We've got you."
"Th-the...oth...hers..."
"They're fine. Right now we need to focus on you."
In the distance I notice blurred figures standing in the door opening, watching. Even now they're worried about me. I squeeze my eyes shut. 
I-I'm not ready yet...please...
More tears leak through them as more pain relief is injected into my veins. It immediately sends 
my head foggy, carrying me into a painless state. 
I-I'm not...going anywhere…
Completely exhausted, I let it take me.
..not...yet....
3 notes · View notes
nvvermore · 2 years ago
Text
Idle Worship
Tumblr media
The apprentice seeks Amaryllis’s help in the investigation
[the lovers]
words: 1.5k
cw: none
accompaniment
-☽☼☾-
A whole afternoon socializing with the courtiers leaves me exhausted. Even after Nadia retired for the evening, the group still demanded my attention, with no way to escape, until Portia finally came along to distract them.
We walk through the halls and chat for a little while, Portia doing most of the talking about whatever little things happened around the Palace today. When there’s a short lull in the conversation, I take my chance.
“When do you think Amaryllis will show up? To court, I mean.”
Portia gives me a knowing smirk. “They really caught your eye, huh? They’ll do that to you. As for showing up, good luck. Since I've been here, they only really leave their quarters to hunker down in the music room.”
“Do you know why?”
“Not really, I've tried to get them to open up— they’re pretty friendly to me— but I got nothing. Apparently they've been like that since before I showed up.” Portia explains. “Staff who have been here longer than me say that it all started after the Count’s death. Some say it was in mourning, some say it was out of guilt, but no one has a concrete explanation as to why.”
“But before they weren't like that?”
“Apparently not. Before, they were one of the biggest names in Vesuvia thanks to their music. Anyone who was anyone wanted to see them perform, whether it was at the opera or down in the South End at some dive. Their contributions to the city, from their art to their aid during the plague, were well documented. And then it just stops.”
“Their aid?”
“They were treating the sick. Their music has a magical quality, it was rumored that they were able to create a song that healed people. On top of that, they took anything they made financially and funneled most of it back into the city. The Count and the courtiers hated them for it.”
Everything starts to make sense to me as Portia explains. I need Amaryllis to get to the bottom of all this. I can't wait a second longer.
“Do you know where I can find Amaryllis now?”
“Probably the music room, but they really don't like to be disrupted while they're working in there.” Portia glances up at the clock on the wall as the two of them pass by. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go check on the Countess. But please, don't go and bother Amaryllis, okay? Cause I’ll end up hearing all about it.” She bids me farewell with a quick side-hug, dashing down the hall towards what must be the Countess’s wing.
All alone for the first time in forever, I take it upon myself to wander the palace halls, looking for any sign of the songstress.
It’s already been a long day, and I haven't even had time to recover from yesterday.
Julian breaking into the shop again, the masquerade announcement, whatever happened with Asra at the fountain. It’s all been so much, compared to just a few days ago when all I had to worry about was tarot readings and restocking shelves. But something in me tells me not to stop now.
I stroll down the halls, admiring the craftsmanship of everything from the delicately carved moldings on the ceiling to the art hung on the walls, making turn after turn, getting lost in the maze of the Palace.
Eventually, one more turn brings me to a dead end, with a set of large, carved double doors at the end of it. From behind them, I can hear a soft melody being played on the piano. It’s enchanting, and strangely familiar, and I can't help but follow the sound until I’m against the door, just trying to hear the music clearly.
l’m so lost in the melody that I don't notice the door opening until I’m practically falling into the room. A few discordant notes are hit and the music stops, and I look up to find Amaryllis, the court musician, behind the piano, quickly standing from their place at the bench.
“Can I help you?” they ask, their gaze sharp as the grimace at me.
“I’m sorry, I was just—“
“Barging in on me? The least you could have done was knock.”
“The music… It was just so…”
“It was nothing.” Amaryllis studies me for a moment longer, before sitting back down on the bench. “Now, if you'll excuse me.”
I watch as they position their fingers on the keys, preparing to play once more.
“Why are you still here?”
I take a few steps closer to the piano. “Actually. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh really?” they ask, with a mild air of annoyance. I ignore it.
“Yes. From what Portia and the Countess have mentioned, you've been here at the Palace a long time.” Amaryllis keeps their head down, focusing on the keys as I speak. “Were you there the night the Count was murdered?”
They slam the cover down, rising once more. “Why do you need to know?” they ask, a strange amount of ire directed at me.
“I’m sure you know by now why the Countess has invited me here. I’m just doing my due diligence to track down Doctor Devorak.”
“If you were truly trying to bring him in, you would already know he’s back in the city.”
Amaryllis knows?
They stare me down, towering over me, eyes cold and accusing. Their demeanor is enough to make me lose the small shred of confidence I had.
“I— I haven't been able to pin him down just yet. I need help.” I plead, but the way Amaryllis regards me doesn't change.
“Strange. It doesn't take much to pin him down. Last I checked he was just begging for retribution.” There's an inkling of disdain in their tone— not as much as there is when Asra talks about him— but it’s enough for me to pick up on the negative feelings they have about Julian.
“The Countess told me that you once made it your mission to know everything going on in the city.” I mention, trying a different approach to get through to them.
“She must have neglected to mention that my services come with a price.”
“Why didn't she just ask you to find him if you know so much?”
“She did. And I told her no. And I’ll tell you the same thing.”
I can't quite figure out Amaryllis’s motive. It’s not love, like Portia. It’s not justice, like Nadia. They’re similar to Asra, but withholding what they know has nothing to do with protection. Once I figure it out, maybe they’ll give me something.
“What if I don't ask you to find him? What if I just ask you to help me find the truth?”
“The truth?” they scoff.
“Of what happened that night. I have a feeling you might be the only one who really knows.”
“Even if I do know, I can't tell you.”
“Why? Are you protecting yourself? Are you guilty?”
From behind their veil, Amaryllis’s hard expression cracks, for just a split-second. Had I blinked, I would have missed the subtle downturn of their lips, full of regret.
Was Amaryllis somehow the Count’s killer? Going undetected within the walls of the Palace all these years? I don't want to believe it, but everything they say only pushes me closer to the conclusion.
They take a deep breath, letting it out with an audible sigh, arms dropping down to their side. “Lucio was a horrible man and leader. He deserved worse than what happened to him. My greatest regret is that it wasn't under my hands that he suffered.”
“I’m not very inclined to believe you if you won't even tell me anything.”
“Why would I let you shed unnecessary light on his death?” Amaryllis’s voice raises into a shout. “So that his spirit can rest easy? So the people can suffer some more as we dredge up another spectacle about it? Making everyone he victimized relieve it all over again? I don't think so.”
It finally hits me then.
Vengeance.
“Portia told me you used to do everything to aid the people. You were actively assisting and donating all of your salary during the plague. I know you cared once. Tell me so that the people can have closure. So you can. So that Julian doesn't end up as the Count’s last victim. Don't let your hate for him overpower your love for this city.”
“You don't know me,” they spit.
“I feel like I do.” It’s true, somehow.
Suddenly, Amaryllis turns, gathering up the pages of music that were spread out upon the piano. They brush past me, heading for the door.
“I hope you find what you're looking for, but it won't be from me.” Amaryllis says, not bothering to address me directly.
And with that, they're gone. The receding sound of their heels is the only sign that they were ever here.
10 notes · View notes
r0ck29 · 4 years ago
Text
This is just a continuation of my last post but with the Dekusquad.
Includes: Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Tenya Iida, Ochaco Uraraka, and Tsuyu Asui
Warnings: fluff, kissing, suggestive stuff, and Todoroki being Todoroki
Tumblr media
MHA as Stoners
Continued
Tumblr media
Izuku Midoriya
Izuku doesn't usually smoke by himself, he will only do it in a large group of people if they are all doing it.
He is a big cougher
Will take the smallest hits
Not because he doesn't want to
But because that's all he can handle
(God he's so precious)☺️
Eventually, he will get up there, though it takes a while
He is usually shy and VERY awkward around girls that he likes
Especially you
But when he is he turns into a whole new person
He is SUPER confident and will make moves on you till the night's end
He is super grabby
Don't worry he's still a respectful gentleman so if you tell him to knock it off he will (as he should)😌
Likes to brag about how you are all his
He is also super goofy
He will also be super affectionate 💕
———————————
“Izuku if you don't stop right now, ” your sentence was cut off by your outburst of laughter. Your hand tried to muffle the giggles and snorts resigning from your mouth. Izuku continued in his goofy manner of wiggling his eyebrows at you. His face moved from side to side until it was in front of yours. He stopped and just stared at you.
“What are you doing?” you asked, lifting your brow at him. He then raised his eyebrows once more, squinted his eyes, and pulled his lower lip under his teeth. You covered your mouth again in an effort not to laugh. He eyed you up and down and released his lip.
“Damn baby girl, did you sit in sugar, cuz you got a pretty sweet ass, ” he smirked at you waiting for your response. You began to laugh again and put your hand on his chest.
“You're too much Izuku.”
Tumblr media
Shoto Todoroki
He really likes dab pens
He has one of his own (can you blame him?)
He doesn't share much as it is or show much emotion and is usually awkward in social encounters
And he still is even when high
He doesn't change much while smoking, except for maybe talking a bit more
He will have actual conversations with you
If you're alone with him he will talk to you about anything
He is a lot softer
Doesn't pick up on social cues until like ten minutes later
He is a lot slower though, in his smarts
Will say the most random shit like
“My dad is a piece if shit”💩
“We know Todoroki” 💁‍♀️
Or he will ask personal things that he shouldn't without realizing
———————————
Shoto hit his one and placed it down in his lap. It rested gently in his hand, as he let out the puff of smoke he stared down at it. A million thoughts crossed his mind in a second. Then out of the blue he remembered something he overheard Kaminari saying to Mineta earlier that he did not understand.
“Wath she hot?” mineta clenched his hands and practically shook while waiting for Kaminari’s answer.
“Dude she was a total MILF!” Kaminari said, almost a little too excited.
What the hell did that mean? And why do I care?
At the time Shoto shrugged his shoulders and forgot about it. But as of now, stoned to the bone, he was curious. And who better to ask than his closest friends.
“Hey guys, ” he looked up at his friends who were all now focusing their attention to him awaiting his question.
“What is a MILF?” he said oh so nonchalantly. The rest of the group all began to start laughing and clutching their stomachs in pain.
“I just heard Kaminari say it earlier and I wanted to know, ” he shrugged again and glanced around the now hysterically laughing teenagers.
“Uh, Todoroki it's not that appropriate to talk about, ” Midoryia scratched the back of his neck, his face entirely red from the situation.
“Oh,” he plainly replied.
Tumblr media
Tenya Iida
We all know he isn't one for breaking rules, let alone the law
(though he literally almost committed murder👀)
He doesn't smoke very often but when he does he gets very paranoid😒
He always thinks that he and his friends will get caught
Honestly it's kind of a buzz kill
No one likes someone freaking out the whole time you are trying to chill
Be tries to cover any smells with WAY to much cologne
(it smells good though)
And is always chewing gum so you can't smell it on his breath
Eventually he will relax but only to an extent
He will make sure you're okay every five minutes and offer to get you anything
Like you're sick
But honestly he just cares and he can't help it
He likes to go for walks though🚶‍♂️
———————————
“You guys Mr. Aizawa will smell it!” Iida's hand flew through the air as he addressed the smell now filling the room. Iida frantically picked up the cologne sitting on the desk next to the best and began sporadically spraying it around the room and on everything.
“Iida, calm down it's going to be okay just come sit down, ” Tsu said from her corner, her finger pressed up against her lip, as usual. He turned to look at her.
“But I don't want to disgrace our school and have our homeroom teacher discover that we are smoking drugs in here, ” he sat down unwillingly as everyone choked on the cologne he sprayed and sighed.
“Fine, ” he looked over to you to see how you were doing. You smiled at the boy who was now flushed.
“Hey Tenya, would a walk outside calm you down?” you suggested grabbing his hand and interlaced your fingers with his. He looked down at your now intertwined hands and back up to you the flush beginning to grow deeper.
“I would love too, ” he grinned back.
Tumblr media
Ochaco Uraraka
This girl can't afford her own 🌿 so she's gotta mooch off of her friends
Not that they mind
She's a giggly stoner
She really enjoys getting high, in fact she does whenever she can
She also loves to get stoned around you
Because she loves to see you smiling and can't help but laugh at everything you say
You could literally as the dumbest shit and she will laugh💀
She doesn't like other people cuddling you and will tell anyone off if they do
They should know that she likes you
She might make a move on you if she's feeling brave
———————————
“Stop y/n, you're killing me!” Ochaco wrapped her arms around her stomach as she continued to laugh until she almost threw up. Gosh, she's so queasy. All you did was make a joke about how deku always breaks his bones while he's using his quirk. This left her giggling uncontrollably and deku as red as ever.
“I can't help it, man, I'm just too funny, ” you shrugged and watched the girl laugh.
Eventually, when you got tired and wanted to go to bed Ochaco offered to walk you to your room, which you accepted. Once you reached your door you said good night and reached to open it.
“Wait, y/n, there is something I've been meaning to tell you, but I just havent had the courage to say it, ” she grabbed your hand and looked at the ground. She squeezed your fingers ever so slightly and returned her gaze to yours. Her face made her way to yours and she planted a ever so soft kiss on your lips and instantly pulled away.
“I like you, ” she said grabbing your other hand. You stood there in shock, and looked at her. Suddenly, you kissed an unexpecting Ochaco right back. You kicked open your door, lips still attached, and pulled her into your room sealing the exit behind her.
Tumblr media
Tsuyu Asui
This girl is hard to read but I know if she likes to smoke, she would like bongs
She likes the bubbling sound it makes
She is very blunt as is and even more so when stoned
However if you can get her to laugh, she will not stop
She is also very funny, and will try her darn hardest to get you to start laughing uncontrollably
This girl is also apart of the alphabet mafia🏳️‍🌈
Try and change my mind😤
Will have the biggest crush on you but won't do anything about it
Will wait for you to tell her
Bottom energy
Definitely loves to shotgun with you
May lead to more things later
———————————
Tsu took a hit off of the long and passed it onto the next person. She turned to you, still holding the smoke in her lungs. You simply nodded at her and slowly leaned in towards her. Her eyes fluttered closed and she parted her mouth every so slightly. Your lips just barely touched hers, sending shock waves through your body and hers. But as much as Tsu wanted to kiss you she couldn't. She then released the smoke out of her mouth, sending it straight into yours. You inhale as much as you could and open your eyes to look at the girl in front of you. The smoke then was exhaled as you both held eye contact, lips still touching.
“Uhhh, ” The moment ended once the other teens began to speak.
You both looked around at the confused teenagers, who were apparently staring at you both the whole time you were doing what you were doing.
“Sorry guys I don't know what happened, ” Tsu tried laughing it off but you knew better, and you continue to stare at her.
She continued to talk to her friends story and change the subject. And in that moment you never wanted to kiss her more than right now.
Let me know if you want more!!❤️ thank you for reading!!
134 notes · View notes
azurevi · 5 years ago
Text
on land where we can touch the moon (2/?)
PART 1 PART 3
Tumblr media
A quick note- this is pretty messy. I'm planning as I write, so there'll be information scattered across the words, and it may be overwhelming...kinda. I have added a little note about what happened in this chapter in the end. This series is also up on ao3.
There is, naturally, a reason Azul was stuck with the name 'The Sea Merchant'.
It wasn't a bad name, and there was no hint of degradation in it. It just wasn't particularly suiting. Azul wasn't a merchant. He wasn't even a shopkeeper. He was just invested in a little magic, and this hobby of his got leaked out somehow. 
His magic was certainly something. It's A Deal allowed him to confiscate another person's valued quality in exchange for their wish. Anything could come to life as long as the deal was equal.
Only the drunk and people in desperate need of help ever went to him for help. After Azul had started mastering his magic, he reckoned that it hadn't been used to its full potential. If the person on the other side of the deal failed to meet the requirement, Azul could take even more from them without suffering any loss. 
And so he sugarcoated and exaggerated his words, put up the most professional smile he could manage. For a few weeks all was well. He'd gained himself a melodious voice, splendid flexibility and a ton of unique magics, but nothing great ever lasted. He was soon exposed as a scammer and his notoriety was whispered among the streets, passed on and on until every family warned their kids not to ever run into him. And Azul, with his fame and prosperity wilting under the gossip and points of fingers, was forced into giving up his success.
He had been in hiding ever since.
He could never understand how something as atrocious could happen to him. If it hadn't been for the sneers and isolation in the entirety of his childhood, he wouldn't have grown up hating everything and everyone around him that called him ugly, unwanted, repulsive. It should've justified his desire for revenge.
Instead, God decided that his suffering was not anywhere close to enough and kicked him down the cliff where he was crying for help.
That being said, Azul was grateful to have Jade and Leech sticking around after everything. The two of them were also unpopular among others, so they eventually got close as a tight-knitted trio.
Tumblr media
"No you didn't," Jade said firmly. 
"I did, Jade. I did," Azul sighed, "They were dying, Jade, I couldn't just let them die,"
"Well, you should've."
"Don't be so uptight. Azul was doing the right thing, wasn't he?" Floyd winked. "So. Were they good-looking?"
"What?"
"The human. You must've saved them for a reason,"
Azul hated how Floyd's words implied that he would never do good unless there was something in it for him, but one could never lie in the face of truth. 
"I just didn't want to let them die. It was their birthday,"
"What does that have to do with everything?" Jade asked. "You went above the water. You saved a human. You were almost caught. You could've died up there, you know. How did you even manage to breathe?"
"I just… did." Azul said, twirling his tentacles in nervousness. Jade was entirely disapproving of his actions, while Floyd on the contrary seemed to be mildly intrigued. 
Everything still felt like a fever dream. All the fireworks and cheering and explosion were still vividly scorched into his mind as if they'd been put on repeat. The splendid colors, light giggles and- 
And those beautiful eyes of yours. The way your hair flowed in the night sky with ease, how you laughed like tomorrow was promised and your life had been planned out before you, a clear and untainted path to success. Azul couldn't decide on whether he was jealous or amazed.
"Well, you better hope they didn't really see you, or that they forgot about it. If the humans come down here to hunt us down-" Jade couldn't even bear to finish the imagination. He simply shook his head in dismay.
Tumblr media
"I swear I saw someone! I couldn't have just been washed ashore!"
"Apparently, you were," Jack said, stroding with large steps that had you panting to keep up. "Near-death experiences do things to our mind, your majesty,"
"That may be the case for others, but I'm sure I was conscious," you retorted. "I woke up to a pair of pale, azure eyes, then in a blink they were behind the rock. If it hadn't been for you-"
"I apologize for worrying about you, your majesty."
You bit your tongue. Fighting with Jack always ended with him being passive-aggressive and you stepping back reluctantly. Plus he was as stern as a rock. Almost nothing could move his belief.
Shouting and grunting could be heard from inside the medical room where Ace, Deuce and Grim were being tended to.
Jack flung open the door, and the three stumbled to get into the blankets and put on a excruciated expression.
"I see you're all healed up," Jack said. Ace hummed lowly and slapped his forehead with the back of his hand. 
"I'm at death's door, commander. It pains me to say this, but I might need to take more days off,"
Jack was quiet for a while, and you could almost see a drop of sweat sliding down Ace's forehead.
"And you, Deuce?" Jack challenged.
"I'm traumatized," 
"And Grim?"
You arched your brow, at which he shivered in fear. "I- I'm feeling fine already,"
"So it's just Ace and Deuce, right?" Jack said. Ace and Deuce nodded their heads so hard they could fall off.
"Alright. Your health is of utmost importance to us, so I'll contact the Raven Healer…"
"The what?!" Deuce's voice croaked.
"The Raven Healer. Surely you've heard of him. He's best known for being able to treat any diseases, both mentally and physically,"
You were sure there were sweats rolling down Ace's cheeks now. "But- but doesn't he heal by using bizzare mediciness…?"
"Oh yes. His magic is what makes him such an infallible doctor. You two seem to be in a lot of pain. I'm sure he'll free you of your suffering."
You turned sharply towards the door and stifled a laughter. 
"That's… not very necessary…" Deuce's voice faltered word by word. He was fully aware that he'd already lost. "You know what, commander? I think I can dive back into work right this instant!"
Jack smirked smugly. "Splendid. And you, Ace?"
The two of them stared at each other so intensely there seemed to be sparkles between them. Finally, Ace gave in. "I'll start work tomorrow,"
They didn't even wait for Jack to walk completely out of the door to whine. They looked fully healthy, even more energized than you.
"Anyways, did you find your saviour?"
You sighed. Ace and Deuce were still skeptical about your 'story', which you'd corrected to 'experience', but at least they were open-minded. 
"No clues. I've had guards patrolling about every two hours. Nothing has yet to happen,"
They eyed each other uneasily, then back at you with a worried face. Before they could make assumptions, you defended yourself. "No, I'm not sick. My head's not concussed,"
"Well," Grim scurried to your lap. "Perhaps your saviour doesn't wish to be found?"
That'd be unwanted. You would wish for anything but to create troubles for your lifesaver. Nonetheless, you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep without sending your gratitude. 
Alright, there might be a selfish motif. You were admittedly curious about those light, pensive eyes and silvery, gleaming hair under sunlight. All these unknown were like a gravity pool, pulling you deeper and deeper into the mystery.
"Well, you ought not to lose hope," Ace patted your shoulder casually, like you weren't the princette of the kingdom he was serving for. "Maybe you'll actually run into him. Fate has a weird habit for setting unexpected traps."
Tumblr media
It wasn't so much love as a tender curiosity, but the line segregating them was so flimsy that one's got to mix them up at some point.
Azul found himself in such a dilemma. He couldn't decide whether it was attraction or nosiness that he was feeling. Either way, it's got him hooked like a drug. Something beautiful had finally entered his life like light piercing through a thick fog of ink, and it was possessive. Azul had a feeling that it wouldn't go away until it had drained him of his mind.
The door to his room was thrown open and Azul had to hide the peeled petals and green stem in a jumble. He had been chanting 'they love me, they love me not' for the past hour. To his luck, Jade and Leech didn't seem to have noticed his haste expression. They were both panting when they swam inside.
"What's wrong?" Azul's first instinct was that something had gone south.
"There-" Floyd wheezed. "There's a sta-"
"There's a fallen statue in the Coral Maze," Jade finished the sentence. "People are fussing over it,"
"Okay," Azul eased back into his bed. He'd already lost interest at 'Coral Maze'. It was at the centre of where the majority of sea creatures inhabited. Nothing could make him go anywhere near civilization and its hubristic aesthetic again.
Or so he thought.
"No- you don't get it. It's a statue of a human that sank along with wreckages of a big ship, and it's made of gold,"
A statue made of gold.
He recalled it now. It was supposed to be your birthday present. The consternation of what followed the present revelation had been so intense that it'd washed the memory of the statue out.
"We just thought that it could be the statue you mentioned in your story, you know? It looked really grand…" Floyd sighed.
Azul wanted to get up and swim over right there, right then, but he knew he couldn't. What would others say to him the moment they saw the shadows of their tentacles crawling on their pure and oh-so royal ground? What accusations would they throw his way? How many children will be led away from him like he was some man-eating, brutal abomination?
Not to mention the unforgiving rage he'd evoked in trying to scam them in the past. Dishonesty was highly criticised in their high-class society. It was as if they were saints that had never done one thing wrong. Bet they'd never even stayed up past midnight.
"You ought to come take a look!" Floyd suggested. A casual, friendly proposal.
"No," Azul snapped. "No, no. I'm not going there,"
"They're planning to use the gold," Jade said. "You know how they are. They see one thing from the ground and start screeching in pain,"
They were going to use your statue. The statue that was perhaps the only thing that was related to you, the one way to never have to forget about you again in case that you never met again.
And to imagine the effect it'd add to his collections! A big gold statue in the centre of his grotto, accentuated by the sparkling of other jewelries. It'd be complete.
"I'll sit on it," Azul decided. He was not to act rashly, lest he walked one step wrong and brought upon himself misery and misfortune. If he really was to pay a visit, he would act in secret. Perhaps in the veil of the night. 
"Just don't act alone, okay?" Jade said. Azul nodded despite not paying any mind to him.
Tumblr media
In the dead of the night Azul decided to sneak out. Alone. It was a mistake, really. Azul couldn't stop thinking about your statue, and by the time he realized how absurd it was, he'd already gone to the Coral Maze.
There was nary a shadow except his own. Still, it was much lighter than where he lived even at night. The distorted image of the moon waved from above as Azul made his way through the many identical corals. Then he finally found your majestic statue standing solemnly in the centre. The only beauty in the water.
It was a sight for sore eyes. White, pure light reflected off the gold and created streams of gleams onto the ground. That someone would ever find it to be disgraceful was incomprehensible to Azul. Something like this deserved to be put on display in the museum for all to see.
There was no radiance on your face and no splendid colors in your eyes. It was merely a fraction of what you were. Nonetheless, it was enough for Azul.
"Who's roaming there?" an alerted voice asked. When Azul turned, he saw a silhouette looming from outside the Coral Maze, holding two anglerfishes in hands and waving them in the water.
Panic was the only thing Azul felt as he hid behind the statue, struggling to keep his tentacles out of sight. The light stayed right in front of him for a while before skimming away.
Azul grabbed the statue and swam, pushing his tentacles through the water as hard as he could. 
"Wait there- oh goodness!" 
There were several voices now, mumbling and inquiring. Then light was casted upon his flitting figure and there were bemused gasps before someone yelled, "Seize him!"
Azul was out of breath. He wished he excelled in fitness but instead he was stuck with incongruous tentacles that would never cooperate at the most needed times.
A hand grasped the end of his tentacle but slipped off. He kept the statue tight in his arms, as if his life depended on it. He could tell that they were near now, and was trying very hard not to imagine the gruesome outcomes.
Someone grabbed his tentacles. He faltered and was pulled back despite protests.
"Keep him in place!" another person yelled as the crowd moved to keep Azul fenced in.
Azul couldn't see anything. Everything was a poor mixture of shadow and distaste and sneers. He was probably going to die right there.
"I can't believe you have the guts to come back, Ashengrotto. After all the things you've done!" someone spoke up.
"Yeah! How shameless of you!”
"And he's stealing our properties now! Imagine how desperate he is,"
"You guys don't even want it!" Azul said.
Some guy lurched forward. Azul cowered backwards.
"It's disgusting, yes, but it's still gold." he said as if it was a completely just thing to do. "It landed on our ground, so it belongs to us. On the contrary, you don't have the rights to lay your filthy hands on it. What more do you want to steal from us?"
"I'm taking this because none of you understand the beauty of it!"
This evoked a negative reaction from the crowd, but words could never be taken back. Azul could feel his heart pounding like a prisoner hellbent on escaping. He had to escape. No more of this degrading gazes. No more of the points of fingers.
"Beauty?" the guy scoffed, and for a moment his face scrunched up and he was ready to spit out rage, but then it softened into a smug smirk. "I guess only ugly understands ugly, huh?"
Azul's head throbbed.
"It doesn't justify your actions, ink-blasting thief. Hand that piece of trash over right- uff!"
He was flung deep into the water until he disappeared into nothing but a black dot. People around Azul immediately made way as they fled in screams and wails. His tentacle was still tingling with the impact, but he couldn't quite feel it. Even if he did, he couldn't care less as he skyrocketed to the surface of the water. He blinked and blinked, but his eyes were still blurred by what would be mixed into the seawater eventually. 
He'd had enough. Heard enough, seen enough. If he'd spent one more second down there he would have suffocated to death.
The familiar freshness of air welcomed him the moment he broke through the water's persistence. The land wasn't far ahead. He swam towards it as if it was his sanctuary. 
There was a man sitting on the rock, face hidden under the hood. Azul considered retreating. He had no idea what would happen to him if he was spotted, but nothing better would happen if he were to go back. So he continued swimming and crawled onto the cool soft sand, only letting his head be seen by the man as he hid behind yet another rock where he placed the much valued statue.
He seemed to be asleep, chest heaving up and down at a steady pace. Just as Azul started sliding out, the man raised his head and looked straight at Azul.
They were a pair of humming, white circles, seemingly void of any sentiments. The man had a mask on that shielded his face except for his tightly shut lips. Two crows were staring right at him with the same uncanny manner.
"You've finally arrived," the man said.
Probably the humans had been searching for him. Azul decided to keep his mouth shut.
"I've been hearing your calls…" he tilted his head. "You can come out. I know what you are,"
Azul still hesitated. But he was much closer to the ocean than to the guy, so he slowly let his tentacles into light.
The man remained calm, not a bit taken back by the revelation.
"Well, I've been hearing your calls…" he resumed.
"I never called out to any humans,"
"Not literally. But you have been calling out a lot," he smiled amiably. "You have to know that it's especially hard for me to hear from creatures undersea, so if your wishes managed to reach me, it means you're pretty desperate,"
"I think you have the wrong person," Azul said and started retreating.
The guy sprang up and his crows curled up together beside him. "Wait- I should introduce myself first. I'm the Raven Healer,"
Azul pondered for a while. "That doesn't explain anything except for the crows,"
"You lots haven't heard of me?" he frowned so deep that his brows and eyes were a cluster. "You guys are really secluded,"
That was when Azul finally realized that he knew about them. About all the lives and creatures that inhabited the deep sea.
"And I mean no harm to your realm. My only target is you," he smiled again, this time at an ominous angle.
"Well, I'm quite famous in this realm. I heal people for a living, whether it be physical or emotional needs. Anything you need, I can grant you,"
That's not very different from Azul's magic. 
"Sometimes, when someone is really desperate for a change, their thoughts can be heard by my crows. And you, Azul Ashengrotto…" his smile dropped a bit and his eyes drooped. "is particularly distressed,"
"Alright. It was nice meeting you," Azul nodded respectfully. The man didn't seem to be harmful. If he fled right now, he could probably throw him off.
The Raven Healer stilled, then burst into piles of blatant laughter. "No, no. I've been looking for you, don't you get it? I'm here to grant your wish!"
I'm here to grant your wish. Like how Azul'd promoted his business as the Sea Merchant.
"I understand that you've been suffering quite a lot, and that you want a change. But nothing ever comes without a cost… I'm sure you can understand,"
The healer stood up, the material of his greatcoat fluttering in the wind. He made his way freely to Azul, who could only freeze up as he inspected the statue with great interest.
"The heir to the throne! I see why you're desperate now. They're a real catch," the healer then looked down at the outstretched tentacles without a word. Azul prayed in his mind that he would turn away from them.
"Well, here are my terms. I will grant you a pair of legs in exchange for your magic,"
Wait, what?
Azul was pretty sure the Raven Healer was just imitating him now. A great figure appearing out of the blue to answer your hopes. The catch was that the figure would always take away your most important thing. It was never a fair deal, Azul was aware.
"I don't think you need my magic," Azul breathed.
"Why, I do!" he exclaimed. "Collecting magic is a splendid hobby of mine! It is because of all these magic that I am such a renowned magician,"
He was obviously lying. His smile couldn't reach his eyes, and the orbs where his eyes were supposed to be were humming like a hazard label.
"I think I'll be just fine," Azul hurriedly brought the statue to his chest and started sliding away.
"...How are you going to survive?"
"What?" Azul swiveled, exhausted.
"Up here. With your…" the healer wiggled his fingers.
"I'll find a way,"
"No you won't," the healer protested. Azul looked up to the sky, took a deep breath and decided to entertain him. 
"Why so?"
"You're gonna cause ruckus. Chaos. People are not especially used to seeing half-man half-octopuses roaming their land," he said honestly. 
Despite knowing all this, Azul still considered his word rude. There was a thin line between blunt and disrespectful, and he'd just crossed it. 
"There won't be anyone dealing with you, will there?"
"...I suppose not-"
"Exactly! I am your only hope!" he exclaimed once again, throwing his hands up in the air like a dramatist. "Unless you want to go back?"
Azul glanced at the serene water. He knew that down there, the mermaids and mermen must be panicking over what'd just happened.
"You can't hold onto that statue forever. If you really wish to stay here-"
"I just came, Mr. Healer. I'm not going to stay,"
"Yet. Come on now," he groaned, as if he was the one exasperated. "I know you want it. You need it. So what are you waiting for? You're never going to see all the beauties in this world in this state!"
He was right. Agonizingly right. He couldn't just walk around as an octopus. It would be like a stain on a quaint painting. Moreover, now that he was here, he couldn't just give up the chance to find you again. It's not like the ocean would welcome him anyways.
As if hearing his thoughts, the Raven Healer reached his hand out, "Deal? Your magic for a pair of legs. It's a fantastic trade if you think about it,"
One second. Two second. Azul didn't wait until the third to act on it. The moment their skin touched, Azul felt a stream of warmth coursing through him, rushing to his throat, where he choked up a luminous blue orb. It was within the healer's fingers within seconds.
"And your legs," he rummaged inside his pocket. There seemed to be numerous tiny objects inside as he dug around. Finally, he pulled up a thumb-size bottle and handed it to Azul.
He downed the slimy liquid inside under the healer's encouraging nods, and almost gagged at the sensation. "Guh! What the hell is-"
His tentacles started glowing a bright yellow, bright enough to attract people in this dead of the night. They started to shrink until they completely disappeared, and a pair of human legs replaced them.
He couldn't believe his eyes as he stretched around and surveyed the changes on his body. It took him quite some time to adjust to it, but he was surprisingly good at it. The fabric of the pants that came with the gift fluttered against his 'flesh' like a mother's caress. He felt normal, for once. Not some ugly monster that preyed on innocent kids. Not a marginalized criminal. Not even a wicked fraud. He was just a human wanting to explore the world.
"Three days," the Raven Healer said.
"What?" Azul was too joyous to pay real mind.
"If you can't find the most beautiful thing after three days, you will dissolve into sea bubbles,"
Azul stilled as he comprehended his words, then he started to chant no in his mind. He'd fallen for his trap.
"You didn't mention it at all!" Azul yelled. "Refund! You're scamming me!"
"The pot's calling the kettle black now. How comical," the healer giggled. Azul's heart dropped to the bottom.
"Consider this your own medicine. It's not like you're completely at loss over here!"
"Wait!" Azul reached out to grasp his fainting figure, which had become an opaque vision. 
"We shall reunite in three days. Until then, enjoy."
All that was left was the crashing of the waves and songs of the crickets. Bathed in the glow of the moon, Azul finally came to the conclusion that he'd fucked up.
Life never stopped to give him a break. There were haste footsteps nearing from behind. Azul instinctively retracted his tentacles, but forgot about their absence and tripped instead.
"Yikes! That was a nasty fall. Are you okay?" 
Looking up, two formally looking men were standing above him, one with crimson hair and another navy. There was a sword attached to each of their sides.
"Yeah. I-I'm fine," Azul cleared his throat and stood up.
"Are you homeless?" The redhead asked and was immediately hit by his companion.
"You can't go around asking people whether they are homeless!" he scolded, then turned to Azul brightly. "You must be in search of shelter! Please follow us!"
"That isn't any better," 
"Shut up," the blue-haired snapped with the same polite smile. "Come on, Mr…?"
"A-Azul. Azul Ashengrotto,"
"Yes, Mr. Ashengrotto. We can't have you catching a cold out here,"
Despite his friendly facade, Azul could see underlying motives lurking beneath. But clueless that he was, he didn't have a choice but to follow suit towards the castle-like building in the far distance.
"Your majesty will be pleased to see you," the redhead murmured, but Azul couldn't quite catch that.
"What was that?" he asked.
"It's nothing," was all that he received. "Just that you'll surely love the place."
Conclusion : Azul had once gone around scamming others with his unique magic but was busted and had been further criticised since. The Raven Healer is obviously Crowley, and his magic will be further explained in next chapter.
82 notes · View notes
snarkwrites · 4 years ago
Text
12 | gangsta; sweetpea
Tumblr media
NOTES:
It's been a while. I've had these two chapters written for a while now but I haven't had time to sit down, edit them a little better and post them. Since I have time now, I thought I'd go ahead and do that, whether you guys asked for these next two chapters or not.
Sorry this took forever! Sorry I'm so slow, I've been settling into a new house and taking care of some IRL stuff / taking a little break. I swear, I'm going to update everything sooner or later. >.>
I love you guys.
WARNINGS:
NON/ LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are… definitely not going to like this. ANGST & SLOW BURN, HEAVY SEXUAL TENSIONSTARTING NOW, ACTUALLY - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. VIOLENCE / SWEARING & FIGHTING, POSSIBLE UNDERAGE DRINKING AND OTHER SHENANIGANS- look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?…EVENTUAL SEXUAL CONTENT / A VIRGIN ORIGINAL CHARACTER- this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there. STALKER TW - this chapter marks the true appearance of Alyssa's ex, Dave Novak. It's hinted heavily that he's a gross asshole who likes to play mind games.
If you're under 18+, probably not a good or wise idea to continue reading this series. Because there are going to be a few dark and adult themes within. I'll warn here, of course, but you need to understand that I don't control you. If you continue to read after having read the warnings and you're upset or don't like something... Totally on you, friend.
PAIRING:
Andrews!Sibling OFC x Sweet Pea.
TAGGING:
@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you want to be added, the link to do so is below.
OTHER PARTS:
ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR - FIVE - SIX - SEVEN - EIGHT - NINE - TEN- ELEVEN - soundtrack
OTHER STUFF:
[ about my writing - tag list doc ]
T W E L V E.
[773 - 589 - 7956] attachment
[773 - 589 - 7956] I think I decided how you can repay me, scarlet…
[773 - 589 - 7956] Better enjoy your quiet and happy little life while you still have it, scarlet. Because soon it’s all going to be ripped right out of your pretty little hands.
[773 - 589 - 7956] That boyfriend of yours isn’t even gonna be able to save you this time, scarlet. You’re mine.
[773 - 589 - 7956] See you soon, scarlet.
Each new text that came in had me tensing up. Careful to keep my phone out of sight of anyone who was nearby. My heart was about to beat right out of my chest and my stomach felt like it sank to the floor. I was barely listening to anything being said around me and I guess it was more obvious than I thought because Toni cleared her throat, nodding to the phone in my hand.
Gazing at me in concern.
“Everything okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Yeah,yeah. Everything is fine.” I lied. I think at that particular point in time, I was just trying to convince myself that this was all some kind of bad dream. Or worst case scenario, Dave was making empty threats.
Toni eyed me suspiciously. I tried to give her a convincing smile, but I’d have had to be an idiot to even think for a second that she believed me. She eyed my phone and reached for it. I managed to shove it in my pocket.
“Trust me.” I pleaded. She gave me a wary look and sighed, grumbling “Fine, okay. Alright.” under her breath.
And I did my best to push the texts out of my head. Jumping in the conversation she had going on with Cheryl and Veronica. Laughing and talking as if nothing were wrong.
Lying through the skin of my teeth.
XXX
“What’s got you so jumpy?”
The question caught me off guard. I wanted to tell someone what was going on, I really did, but… I didn’t want to worry anyone, either. I was at least 99.9 percent sure that there was absolutely no way that Dave would show up in Riverdale, at least that’s what I was hoping.
I did my best to play it off. Shoveling french fries into my mouth just so I didn’t have to answer right away. My cell phone lit up and I flinched before I could stop myself.
Toni reached for it and I quickly grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket. She gave me a concerned look and I muttered quietly, “Probably just Reggie...again.”
“Reggie’s with that new girl though?” Cheryl spoke up. Gazing at me thoughtfully. My breath caught in my throat because if anyone would catch on to there being something truly wrong with me or something off in the way I was acting, it’d be her or Polly.
So far, I’d managed to fool everyone else into thinking I was alright, even my dad and my brother.
,, Dave won’t come here, it’s not worth the hassle. He’s just playing mind games. That’s all this is. Pull yourself together.” the thought came and I managed a smile, shrugging.
“You’ve been acting weird all week, now that I’m thinking about it.” Cheryl was the one who said it and she gave me an expectant look. Waiting.
“I have not.”
,, I do have one secret I can spill. Maybe if I tell them about my crush on Sweetpea…” and so that’s what I did. Sighing as I reached for the shared plate of fries between the three of us. Raking my fries through my vanilla milkshake and taking a few deep breaths to kind of collect myself, both from Dave’s harassing texts and what I was finally about to get off my chest about having feelings for Sweetpea.
“You have. Start talking.” Toni spoke up, watching me. Sizing me up. If I had to guess, I’d pin money on her sitting across the booth, trying to figure out what was up with my jumpy attitude all week.
“Okay, alright. Fine. But what I’m about to tell you two does not leave this table, okay? It.. It can’t. If Sweetpea ever found out, pretty sure he’d start avoiding me and things would get weird.”
Toni and Cheryl exchanged a look and then Toni nodded. Chewing a mouthful of fries as she muttered calmly, “Go on.”
“ I may or may not have a crush on Sweetpea.”
“Oh, you definitely have a crush on him. It’s kind of obvious.” Cheryl gave a soft teasing grin and I sighed. Dragging my hand through my hair and taking a few seconds to let her words sink in. I almost dreaded asking, but I felt like I had to given that she said it was obvious. “Oh god.. He doesn’t suspect anything.. Right?”
“Oh, he’s the only one whose oblivious. But the rest of us, we’ve known a while.” Toni teased me. Then asked calmly, “Is that all? Why’s that have you so jumpy?”
“Because I know how bad I am at hiding things, okay? I was kind of… I dunno, freaking out I guess.” I eyed her, waiting. Searching her face in the hopes that she accepted what I said and didn’t keep pushing. A few seconds passed and she laughed softly. Took a sip of her strawberry milkshake and asked with a smirk, “Are you gonna do anything about it?”
“Probably not. Every time I even think about it, I manage to talk myself right out of it. He’d laugh his ass off, okay? Besides, remember all the flirting he was doing with Josie when they had to work together during the play?” I pouted as I pointed it out.
Cheryl and Toni exchanged looks and Toni laughed. “He was doing that to make you jealous. Or that’s what I think he was doing. Either way… I think you should do something. He’s not going to and trust me… I’ve known the guy my whole life. I know him well enough to say that I know he has a thing for you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so cranky when you two first met?”
“I thought he was just naturally grumpy?”
“Oh, he is, but the way he was towards you was totally different. He’s only that grumpy when he’s trying to keep his defenses up.” Toni informed me before finishing off her shake.
The door to the diner opened and Sweetpea walked in, Fangs in tow. The two of them were laughing about something. I gave both Cheryl and Toni a pleading look and Cheryl seemed to pick up on my unspoken plea to change the subject thankfully, because she asked, “Are you going to F.P’s retirement party at the Wyrm?”
“Yeah.” I answered, finishing off my milkshake. Sweetpea flopped into the booth beside me, carelessly slinging an arm over the back of the seat. His hand brushed against my shoulder and I swear just the small brush against me felt like someone had taken a livewire and dragged it over my body real slow.
Toni smirked at me, nodding at Sweetpea while he was too busy wolfing down french fries to notice and I shook my head.
“I dare you. No… I triple dare you.. Flirt with him.” Toni gave a teasing grin as she mouthed the words to me and I swallowed hard.
She’s not playing fair. She knows I can’t turn down a dare.
I happened to glance out the window of the diner and when I thought I saw Dave standing there, leaning against a streetlamp, one hand in his pocket and a cigarette dangling between his lips, I nearly choked. This prompted Sweetpea to start hitting me on the back lightly as he laughed and looked at me in concern. “Damn cherry, are you trying to kill yourself?”
Toni’s brow raised and Sweetpea explained what happened earlier in the day, how I’d nicked myself with the scalpel in our first period class while doing a dissection. What Sweetpea didn’t know was that when it happened, it was because I thought I’d seen Dave standing outside in the parking lot, only to blink and the parking lot be empty.
I have got to stop letting his stupid mind games get to me. It’s just because he’s texting me again. It’s just because he knows how to work me up and get me all scared, he used to be good at it when we dated.
He’d never come to Riverdale. He’s just doing this to me for his own sick amusement and every single time I let him get to me, especially when I’m to a point where I’m so paranoid I’m imagining that I see him everywhere lately, it’s letting him win and that pisses me off more than anything.
I’m supposed to be stronger than that, damn it.
Toni eyed me suspiciously and I braced myself. When she didn’t bring up my skittish behavior, I relaxed a little.
I wanted to tell someone what was going on, but at the same time, why? I’m pretty sure this is just Dave, being an absolute bag of dicks.
It has to be that. It has to be.
XXX
He stood outside some podunk little diner right in the heart of town. The hazy red neon gave off a comforting and inviting warmth and he lit his cigarette, fuming in anger as he watched her sitting inside.
“I know you’re not ignoring me, scarlet. I know you’re not.” he muttered, mostly to himself as he turned the collar of his leather jacket up against the wind and started to walk towards the South Side.
Maybe it was time he paid his old buddy Eric a visit. Eric was out of prison. Eric was the one who’d told him where Alyssa was to begin with, though he didn’t realize it.
Dave chuckled and shook his head as he walked towards the shitty apartments on the opposite end of town where Eric lived. Eric owed him a few favors. He was coming to collect.
“Did you really think I was jokin when I told ya I have friends all over? That you weren’t ever gonna get away from me?” he mused to himself as he knocked on the door of a first floor slum apartment.
Eric opened the door, leaning in it lazily. Blinking at him in a daze and smirking. High fiving him as he asked him why he was in town.
Dave whipped out his phone, showing Eric a picture of Alyssa. At first he gave him some story about her running off while he was in the pen. Eric wasn’t buying it, he could see it written in the expression on his face. And that only made him angry. Eric owed him. He was here to collect the favor owed. All he wanted was for Eric to help him out on this one little thing.
Eric shook his head, chuckling in disgust. Gazing at him with a brow raised. “I think you need to leave, man. Now. You don’t want the heat this is gonna bring down on you. And I’m not about to get on a Serpent’s bad side, even if the Serpent in question is just a damn kid.”
“See, I’d like to just put this all behind me, man... but she’s the whole reason I even went to prison to begin with. Then I get out and find out not only is my girl not loyal, she’s also the one who snitched on me?” Dave eyed Eric. Getting irritated because this was not how he saw the conversation going.
“I’m telling you, you need to leave. Forget about Alyssa. I see her around all the time with some kid… Sweet Pea or Green Bean, some shit. The Serpents are not people you fuck with, man. Not around these parts.”
“You know the Serpents aren’t shit to me… Right?” Dave quipped, smirking. “I’ve got this under control. I just need you to help me out a little… C’mon, man. You owe me.”
“I don’t fucking care. I’m not helping you do whatever it is you’re here to do. What I oughta do is put a bullet in your fucking head for even thinking I’d be down for this shit. She’s a kid, man. A fucking kid... Favor or not, man… I’m on the Serpents side with this. Not yours. You need to leave.” Eric warned, giving Dave a firm glare as he folded heavily tattooed arms over his chest.
“Oh, so that’s how you’re playin, huh? Okay. Alright. All I wanna do is see her again. I’m not going to do anything. I just want to straighten things out. Get a little closure on the situation...”
Eric scoffed. “This coming from the king of overreaction. I don’t trust you.I’m breakin code of my gang by even talking to your ass. Nope. The answer is no. I’m not helping. Do whatever you have to do to me, but I’m not about to help you scare some kid. I’ve got better things to do with my time, buddy...”
Dave’s arm shot out and he pinned Eric against the door of his apartment. Smirking at him calmly. “I know you haven’t forgotten just how much your sorry ass owes me. Because that’s what this sounds like.”
“I guess that’s what it is then. Because I’ve seen what the Serpents can do. I’m not about to bring all that down on my head.” Eric stepped back inside his apartment, slamming the door in Dave’s face, leaving him to glare at the closed door and take a swing.
“Guess I’m doing this all by myself.” Dave mused as he turned and wandered down to a shitty dive bar nearby. He needed to have a few rounds. Come up with a plan.
And a little after midnight, after finding himself a few new talkative friends in some local Ghoulies, things were starting to look up for him. And he was slowly forming a plan.
Now he just had to wait. Pick his moment. Toy with her a little more.
“I’m so close I can almost touch you, scarlet. Soon… Soon you’re going to pay for running your mouth to mommy about me...” he smirked to himself as he unlocked his hotel room and stepped inside.
3 notes · View notes
orange-waterfalls · 5 years ago
Text
It's Not A Joke
Tumblr media
Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader
@sierracolorstheworldofwords ty for the request!
A/N: The ending was a bit rushed because I wanted to get it done before I went to sleep and it is almost midnight,,, so,,, uh Rated T for swearing. Magnum being an oblivious FUCK and reader getting tired of his bullshit. Fluff. Slight angst at some points. This one's a bit short, sorry. Enjoy!
Word Count: 1.9k
--
You stare at Captain Magnum and sigh. He was so wonderful… he was fun, handsome, not to mention tall…
It's really no surprise you have a crush on him.
Every single person on the crew knows of your little crush, and you know that they know. It was obvious! You'd always stutter around him, you blushed whenever he complimented you, and you did everything he asked of you immediately and without question. Everyone knows.
Except, of course, the captain himself.
Everyone was surprised he didn't know, including you. You thought you were being pretty open about it. Granted, you hadn't actually told him yet, but he probably should've figured it out by now. For a pirate captain, he was pretty dumb.
"Really? Again?" Magnum's previous first mate asks. You'd started talking to him after you were made first mate, and you two got along. You both could complain about the captain to each other. You also learned his name was First Mate John. Well… just John now. You'd have to help him come up with a pirate name soon. You were a pretty shy person, but you were less so around John. You felt like you could be comfortable around him.
"Yes, again. What else am I supposed to do?" You scoff.
"I dunno... tell 'im?"
"If he hasn't figured it out by now, I'm not sure I want to," you both laugh.
"Fair enough," he smirks, 'but are ye at least gonna drop some hints or somethin'?" You slowly turn your head towards him.
"What do you think I've been doing the last 3 months?" You joke. He snorts and pats your shoulder.
"Best o' luck t' ye, kid," he chuckles. You give him a small wave goodbye and go back to looking at Magnum. He stands up from his spot on the stair leading to the wheel and starts walking over to you. You go into a mini panic as your heart speeds up and you go back to mopping the floor.
"First Mate Y/N!" He booms. You flinch at the volume.
"H-Hi captain," you stutter, avoiding his gaze, "W-What can I do for you?" He sets a strong hand on your shoulder and you buckle under the strength, your face heating up.
"I was wonderin' if ye would like t' be in charge o' th' next lootin'," he explains, "Ye've been here a while 'n I reckon ye could do it." Your eyes widen and you look up at him. That was apparently a bad idea because you were unable to form actual words after that.
"We, uh… I do.. I mean I'd… um…" you sputter out. He looks at you worriedly.
"Ye alright? Ye look unwell…" he reaches out and feels your forehead. You almost instantly pull away from him. He frowns.
"Ye're burnin' up, mate! Are ye sick?" He gently sets a hand on your head. You duck away, dropping your mop.
"I'm fine!" Your voice cracks, "I'm perfectly okay I just uh… I need to rest a bit is all! Yeah…" you speedwalk to the cabin you share with John and shut the door.
Magnum stands in the middle of the deck, feeling very confused.
"That was strange," he said to himself, "I wonder wha' th' problem be…"
--
About half an hour passed and you were sitting in your bed, your face in your hands. You went over the interaction several times in your head, feeling the same amount of embarrassment and shame each and every time. John walks into your shared room, looking smug.
"I reckon that went well, don't ye?" He teases.
"Shut up…" you groan.
"If he didn' know ye liked 'im afore, he oughta know now."
"And if he doesn't, I'm throwing myself overboard." John laughs and sits on your bed. You peek at him through your fingers.
"Kid, I mean no offense towards th' cap'n, but he's a moron. At least when it comes t' feelin's," you snort in agreement. "Ye needs t' tell 'im directly if ye wants 'im t' know." You remove your hands from your face and sigh.
"Ok… I'll tell him…" you pause. "Later…" John smiles at you.
"There we go," he consoles. He thinks for a moment, wondering what could take your mind off things, before speaking again. "So, the other day, what were you saying about a heist?"
--
That night, you walk out of your cabin, your knees shaking. John had given you another pep talk, along with a couple other crewmates. You felt a little better, but it didn't really help with your anxiety. Your heart is beating so fast you were afraid it would stop. Your palms are oh so very sweaty, and your legs have gone numb at this point. You barely feel them carrying you over to the captain, who was at the wheel. You stand next to him for five minutes, waiting for him to notice you're there. Eventually, he does.
"Ah! First Mate!" He bellowd. You flinch. "Wha' can I do fer ye?" You take a deep breath in.
"I have something to tell you, captain," you say shakily. Neither of you say anything for a while, and you wonder if he heard you.
"Well? Go on then!" He instructs.
"R-Right… ok… um…" you stammer. You keep playing with a button on your shirt, trying to think of what to say. You can feel his eyes on you and it made you even more nervous. Why did you let them talk you into this? You weren't ready! You couldn't do this. You… you…
You look to the side and see John watching you from behind the mast. He gives you a thumbs up. You respond with a smile and he leaves, decided to let you do this on your own. You take a deep breath and…
"I like you, captain," you blurt out. Magnum doesn't respond and you get scared.
"Be that all?" He laughed, "well, I like ye too!" You blink and look up at him. His face didn't seem to change very much. You're about to smile, but pause.
"Captain… I don't think you understand me…"
"O' course I do! I be yer cap'n, ye're part o' me crew, o' course we like each other!" You stare at him.
"That's not what I meant,"
"Oh? 'n wha' did ye mean?"
"I meant…" you pause, wondering if you should just give up. No. You made it this far. Finish it. you command yourself.
"I meant I love you." You say. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Like… I'm in love with you." You continue, hoping he gets it. He's quiet for a moment before laughing.
"That's real funny, Y/N!" He chortles. You stare at him before letting out a laugh.
"Yeah. Ok. Sure. Yeah, of course. That's fine. I don't even care! That's fucking fantastic!" You grumble. He stops laughing and looks at you.
"That's some language… are ye ok?" He asks. You start walking back to your cabin.
"Yeah, I'm ok! Of course I'm ok! Why wouldn't I be ok?!" You yell and slam your door. Magnum stands there, wondering what just happened.
John opens the door a couple minutes later and walks in.
"Ahoy bud… Ye alright?" He asks gently.
"I don't want to talk about it," you growl.
"Aw, bud…"
"It's not even the fact that he doesn't like me! It's the fact that he laughed! Why would he do that?" You lamented. John set a hand on your shoulder. He's about to say something to try and make you feel better, but he stops.
"Wait… he laughed?" John asks.
"Yeah… why?"
"Would you mind telling him again tomorrow?"
"What? Why the hell would I do that?"
"I want to test something. Please?" He begs. You look at him and sigh.
"Fine… this better be good…"
--
You and the rest of the crew sit and tell stories. Most of the stories are coming from Magnum, but you're not really listening. He notices this and tries to tell more interesting stories, or stories that he thinks you'll find interesting. You still refuse to even look at him, so he lets other people talk.
"Tell him. Right now," John whispers. You sigh and turn to look at Magnum. He leans forward a bit, wanting to hear what you have to say.
"I love you, captain," you say confidently. The whole crew looks at you, and then at Magnum.
"You made that joke last night, Y/N," he laughs.
"It wasn't a joke," you say. His smile falls. The crew decides that it would be a good time to leave, and that's exactly what they do.
"Wha'?"
"It wasn't a joke."
"Wha' do ye mean?"
"I mean I do love you, captain. I'm in love with you. I would like to be in a relationship with you…" your face heats up and you start sweating. God, why were you saying this? Maybe this was the only way he'd understand…
You look up at him and see a confused look on his face. Oh, fuck it… you think.
"I want a relationship with you. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you close. I want to make you smile and I want to be your shoulder to cry on if you need me to. I want to whisper sweet nothings to you as we fall asleep. I want you to let me love you." You explain, heart racing. Both of you are silent for a minute. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for rejection.
"Oh…" he says, uncharacteristically soft. "I… love ye too…" you look at him. He's looking at you, a slight blush on his face.
"You… you do?" He nods a bit. "Then why in the name of Davy Jones did you think it was a joke?!" You shout.
"I didn' know ye'd like me back! I thought ye liked John!"
"What do you mean you thought I liked John?"
"I mean I thought ye liked John!"
"WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LIKED JOHN?!"
"I DUNNO, YE SEEM COMFORTABLE AROUND 'IM, I THOUGHT THAT MEANT YE LIKED 'IM!"
"Oh my God…" you rub the bridge of your nose. "Why did you think I'm always so nervous around you?"
"I thought... y'know... ye found me intimidatin'..."
"Of course I find you intimidating that doesn't mean I don't like you."
"Oh…" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Uh... Sorry I was so ignorant t' yer... Affection…" you chuckle at the apology.
"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner," you both sat there, just looking at each other.
"So uh… should we… should we kiss?" He asks nervously.
"Only if you want to. We don't ha-" you're cut off by his lips settling onto yours. You put your hands on his shoulders to keep you upright. He puts his hands on your neck, tilting your head to where he's comfortable.
"Awww!" Multiple voices say from behind you.
"Get a room!" John calls out. You pull away and bury your head in Magnum's shoulder, your face burning.
"Oi! If ye all aren't swabbin' th' deck in th' next five seconds, ye're walkin' th' plank!" He commands. The crew all scramble to get to work. You sigh and pull back to look at him.
"I'm… gonna go help them…" you murmur with a blush. He sighs.
"Ah, okay... We'll... Continue later," he states. You smile and walk away, grabbing your mop. As you mop, you glance at Magnum, seeing him watch you with a lovesick grin on his face. John, also holding a mop, slides up next to you.
"So, when's th' weddin'?"
"Shut up, you fuck!"
the ending is so obviously rushed I'm sorry lol
120 notes · View notes
pbandjesse · 6 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Today was a pretty good day off. Mostly lazy. It started with a lot of anxiety for me though.
I slept all right and I woke up at around 9. I wanted to go to the mall. I was determined to go to the mall. But I also knew that the landlord was going to be coming around in the afternoon. I wasn't sure what time but I wanted to make sure it was here. So I started getting ready.
One of the issues that I'm having in this apartment is that there's too much space. So when I'm going from the bedroom to the bathroom I have to pass through another room which then reminds me that I need to do something else and then I go to the kitchen to start doing that thing and then realize that I'm passing another room and I see something else that needs to get done. And then it's just a horrible cycle. I get very stressed out by how many things that need to be done. I had to get dressed I had to water the plants I had to feed the cats I had to eat breakfast so many things. All of them got done though and it was fine I was just stressed for no reason.
James texted me and told me that there was a package over at the other apartment I had to go pick up. So I left here around 9:30 and did that. I got the mail there and package which turned out to be a cat stuffed animal for me. And I came back here. I was very overheated though. There's not a lot of Hills but it's hot outside and I had a lot of trouble picking an outfit today cuz I was too hot. And the shorts I decided on hurt my legs when I was biking. So I got back here and I got changed. And just kind of stood in front of the air conditioner. It helped but I was very uncomfortable.
I only stayed here long enough to cool off and then I left again. I biked to the subway because I thought that would be my best bet for getting to the mall. That's how I've always gotten to the mall. Turns out it's only like a 12 minute bike ride. I'm very annoyed about this because I waited for the subway for almost a half an hour. I felt very stupid. And I didn't even have cell service down there so I didn't realize how short of a bike ride it was until later on. At least I have an interesting podcast to listen to. It could have been worse.
But because of the long way and the Heat by the time I got to the mall I was kind of just sad and felt kind of weird. I want a Forever 21 but I didn't really want to look at clothes. And that Mal has not got a lot of things in it. Did you have a Claire's though. And they were having their 3-4-3 sale. And I went in and wasn't going to get anything but then I saw that they had the Platypus Beanie Baby that I had seen on the boardwalk. The one that I couldn't find. And so I got it and some nail polish and a present for Jess. It was nice. Help me feel a little bit better.
I got a pretzel. Finally. I actually got two pretzels and brought them home with me. I've been kind of snacking on them all day. Say microwave pretty well. And then I just kind of wandered. I started to leave and then I realized it was 11:30 and I hadn't had breakfast yet. I was saving the pretzels for later. So I look to see where I Burger King was because I had seen someone with a cup from it. Turns out it was in the mall just kind of setback so I didn't see it. I went in and I want to order the veggie burger always get. Only to find out that even though it's on their menu they no longer carry it because of the impossible Burger. Wonderful. I can't eat the impossible Burger. I've tried it multiple times now and two of the three times I've tried it I've gotten sick. So I don't trust it. And I really like the veggie burger at Burger King. Explain the girl why I can't have it and she told me I should fill out the survey. So we did and just said that I was disappointed. I got fries and a soda and sat down. But I just felt very sad. I just wanted to go home.
Thankfully waiting for the Subway on the way back wasn't as long. It was still really hard to bike home and the Heat. And I promised myself I would get a cold bath as soon as I was home.
And that's exactly what I did. I got him cold baths and I had my pretzel. Eventually I had a burrito. I just tried to enjoy my afternoon.
Our landlady, Tina, texted me that she was running late. Originally when she had called me when I first got home she said she would be there around 3:30 or 4. But her sister's car had broken down and she had to drive her somewhere so she would be here closer to 5. That's cool I wasn't planning on going anywhere.
But then I hit kind of a mid-afternoon slump and I got incredibly tired. I set an alarm for 4:30 just in case I fell asleep. I just felt exhausted.
I went downstairs to get a package. It was a bunch of small stuff from my mom. But she also apparently sent me an envelope. And that wasn't there yet so later on a little bit before 5 I open the door to go downstairs. But when I did I saw that the office door that is the apartment next door to me was open and there was a huge bag of peaches on the table in the hallway. I assumed that meant the landlady was there so I just went back in my apartment.
And I was right! Tina knocked on my door a couple minutes after 5 with the big bag of peaches. She brought them for me and James. She is so sweet. I want to give her a big hug. She reminds me of my dad's Aunt Ellen. An older lady probably mid-70s. Crepe paper skin and glasses. She had earrings and a necklace and a bracelet on. She has short blond hair that was kind of curled. And I just think she's so sweet. We sat and talked for about a half an hour. She gave me the lease and she told me the history of the building. At least what she knows.
Her and her ex-husband bought this home years ago. They lived here on the first floor and in this apartment before she had kids. And after they had kids they moved West Virginia and started renting the place. The building itself was built in 1904 and I was right about it being a family that owns a department store downtown. They commissioned the building when they got married. And then they left for 6 months. When they got back they started their life but the wife died a few years later they think in childbirth. He was very sad and so he moved to the building next door. The one that's an old person's home now. At least we think it's an old person's home. But that building was filled with artists and art collectors at that time. Just filled with that kind of energy. He continued to own the home for a while and rent it out. It changed hands two more times at least before Tina and her husband at the time bought it. And my favorite thing that you told me was that turns out the apartment I'm living in was the original owners Billiards room. I think that is hilarious.
It was really nice to talk to her though and she said the sign the lease when we get a chance. To contact her if we have any questions. The only real question I have now that I've read over the lease has there's a clause in it that says we can only have white curtains. And I want to check about that. Cuz that seems bizarre. But it is a standard lease that she just got from the library so maybe she doesn't know that it says that.
After she left I ate one of the peaches and it was incredible. Like I literally ate the entire thing it was falling off of the pit. It was great. And then I just kind of hang out for a bit. Enjoyed being in the apartment.
Eventually I worked on some art. The kitty cat James gave me I went to pick up earlier had very strange eyes. So I tried to call her the man. But that looked worse. So I removed them and put new ones on. At least fixed the size and placement. I like it a lot better now. And then I worked on some aren't and I had pizza for dinner. I just had a nice night. I miss James. He's at a baseball game right now. The whole reason for his trip. I hope he's having a good time up in Boston. He sent me pictures of the museum he was at today. And he promised me a souvenir. I look forward to having him back.
I'm laying in bed now. Sweet pea is manhandling my stuffed animals. And being a nuisance. But I'm really just ready to get some sleep.
I work at the Museum tomorrow. And then James comes back. And then it supposed to be D&D. I look forward to seeing our friends. I hope you guys all have a nice day tomorrow. Be safe. Take care of each other.
5 notes · View notes
Text
Pt17
(Conversations around consent, sexual activity, and descriptions of torture and attempted suicide. I will put a little - before a paragraph with torture/assault and another - when its over. May or may not also include implied consensual activity. We'll see where this goes.)
Curtis wakes up to soft little regular whimper-moans from behind him. Unsure if his lover is dreaming of torture, or if it's a happy kind of dream, he shifts back a bit, pressing into Takashi to check. Smiling a little in relief it's definitely not torture. Sighing a little, he's awake now. And hungry. They didn't eat dinner last night. They'd gone to bed. Worth the missed meal in Curtis' opinion. However, he's ravenous.
Digging through the cupboards he finds oatmeal, spices, and dried fruit. Surprised to find so many seasonings in the cabinets of a man who rarely cooks, Curtis wonders if it's a holdover from living with Adam. Especially considering Takashi doesn't even buy himself proper self grooming products. Probably just habit to keep the spices around.
The fridge has a few flavors of almond milk. Some non dairy creamers, and not much else in it. Overall the food choices are somewhat depressing. There's more in the freezer, thankfully. Frozen meat, vegetables, and fruit. Shaking his head a little, he sighs.
But another look through the pantry shows plenty of rice, beans, potatoes...cereal. He's feeding himself.
Finding a flat pan, he starts some of the last of the bacon. Whisks some eggs in a bowl. And adds vanilla almond milk to the oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg, and fruit. It can sit until Takashi wakes up.
Curtis likes the simple ritual of preparing food. He doesn't mind doing this. Although once they live together he figures if he cooks, Takashi can do the shopping. He usually already does the cleaning up.
Some time later he hears a weird noise somewhere between "blech" and "ugh" accompanied by soft but vehement cursing.
"You okay?" Curtis calls when the swearing doesn't stop but he hears water running. "Did your dream not have a happy ending?" He asks, heading into the bedroom.
"If you can call it that," Shiro snaps back, voice cracking.
Takashi is naked from the waist down and he throws the washcloth into the sink as Curtis comes in. His face is red and his eyes are full of tears.
"What's wrong? You okay?"
"I don't know."
"What happened?" He gently thumbs a tear off Takashi's cheek.
"I don't know. My body never did this. I was, I was finally feeling like I was in my own skin and then this happens!"
"What, as a teen you didn't get wet dreams? God you were lucky." Stroking back Takashi's hair he gently kisses his cheek.
"I didn't even know this was possible," he protests.
"It is," Curtis assures him. "It happens. Not super common, I don't think. But yeah. It's normal."
"Not for me," Shiro protests. "Maybe the clone?"
"You had his memories and he thought he was you, right? Do you remember that happening?"
"No."
"This makes sense to me, love, I'm sorry. It's been years, right? And you have been so stressed, and so anxious, and so sick... You got a little last night... And your body wants more. Is that so awful? Years and years without any.... What'd you dream about anyway?"
Shiro turns red again, scar livid across his face. "You." He swallows. "Us."
"Oh yeah? You wanna tell me what we did that rocked your world so hard it made you come in your sleep?"
Ducking his head down, the tips of his ears are red, too. His silvery hair just makes the blush look even brighter.
"Is it embarrassing?" Curtis asks gently. "Or are you just shy about this stuff?"
"I never really talked about it with anyone. My family was.... Traditional. It was really hard to get used to the idea I liked guys at all. Adam... Had to be patient for a long time. I came out because of him. I admitted to myself... Who I was. I get to be with you because of that," he says softly. "But ... I'm not as... Blase about it as you."
"Am I allowed to ask you about it? Or tease you if it's just us? Will you be okay talking about stuff? 'Cause I'm... I'm not comfortable sleeping with you until we hash out do's and dont's." He meets Takashi's eyes. "I can wait. It's no rush. Nothing like that."
"We can talk about it," Shiro mumbles, leaning into Curtis. "I was dreaming about...us. You were um, your mouth...I think that time we talked about it has been in the back of my head this whole time."
Curtis smiles and kisses his temple. "The real thing will be a lot better," he promises. "Put some pants on, breakfast is almost ready." He slips away to make sure nothing's burning and to heat the oatmeal mix.
Shiro comes out in different sweats, still embarrassed. Still he's done worse in front of Curtis. Such as thrown up on himself in his sleep back on the Atlas. One of the first nights Curtis started checking on him. He hadn't even really woken up, either. Curtis had had to help him clean up. Change the sheets. He'd brought tea to help with his stomach. And never said a word to anyone about it. Not once.
They eat relatively quietly, seated at the counter with their knees touching.
"What time is it anyway?" Curtis mumbles, mostly to himself. Glancing at his watch he blinks. "We woke up early."
"Hm?"
"Its 0600. I usually get up closer to 0700. Guess I have time to lie around." He smiles a little.
"What'd'ya want me to pick up at the store?" Shiro mumbles. Already trying to decide on what kind of grooming products he needs. He knows most of Curtis' favorite snacks already. The man has a sweet tooth.
"Something not frozen or dried...how long am I staying?"
Turning red he shrugs. "We haven't really had a chance to talk and I don't want to do that before work if that's okay."
"Fine by me," Curtis agrees.
Done with his food he hops up, taking the now empty dishes and heading to the sink. He cleans up automatically, glad to have something to do. For all it's a hair harder with just one hand. He has to set the dish down to swab it out. Then he loads them into the dishwasher.
Curtis contentedly watches him move around the kitchen. They've only been together a few months as a couple now. But this feels right. He loves this man. Scars and all. And he knows Takashi feels the same way. After all he's been through, it's nice to let himself again. It's nice to be loved. It's nice to know the person he's letting himself be with is worthy of it. After his partner had died, Curtis had had a string of one offs and bad decisions. And he'd treated them and himself like trash.
One of the absolute best things about Takashi is that he makes Curtis feel so loved. So wanted. So incredibly safe and special and like he matters more than anything else in the world. Takashi has this special way of focusing on him that makes him feel like he's the only other person in the world.
"If I go in early I can leave early," Curtis says, and Takashi nods a little. "Gives us more time tonight?"
"Yeah. Sounds good." He smiles a little.
It seems a little forced but they've been through a lot. "Hey how's your back feeling?"
Blinking in surprise, he stretches a little, his hand on the small of his back. "Good."
"Lemme feel," Curtis smiles. When Takashi comes around the counter and leans over to present as much of his back as possible to his partner.
"Hey look, still not purple," Curtis teases, running his fingertips up and down Takashi's back. He laughs when Takashi arches under his touch, just like a cat. "I love you so much," he says affectionately.
"I love you, too. Please don't stop," he adds.
"Well. I will have to eventually. I can't be late." But all the same he scratches up and down his partner's back. He enjoys the way Takashi shifts under his hand. Deciding that both hands might be best in this situation he shifts on the stool to make it easier to give scratches.
Eventually it's time to go. They kiss goodbye and head out together, but part ways outside the building.
Shiro sends Keith a message.
Stuck going to the store. You need anything?
0645
Probably should grab some basics. Meet you at the store?
0647
Sounds good. No plants.
0648
Mom says you should bring 'your mate' a gift. Yes plants. Apparently. Or the skulls of your enemies. But that seems excessive.
0650
That would not match his decor, no.
0650
See you in 10.
0651
Keith finds Shiro in the personal grooming section of the store.
He looks up when he notices the Red Paladin. "Curtis also has a problem with my taste in body wash."
"I see."
"Problem is I have no idea what to pick," Shiro shrugs.
Keith peers over in the basket. It looks like Shiro has managed to pick up fruit, vegetables, and some kind of meat in the time it took him to wait for a train to pass. "Sorry I'm late, by the way."
"Stuck at the tracks?"
"Yeah. Slowest train I've ever seen. Couldn't have been going much over 80."
"Disappointing."
"Seems like you're mostly done."
"Still need snacks. And candy of some kind. Curtis is an addict."
"Where's your protein crap you always used to get?"
"I always hated it. And medical says I'm healthy now... So. I didn't buy any."
Keith looks over at Shiro and notices some things that disturb him. For one, every time he reaches out to maybe pick a bottle, there's some kind of tremor in his hand. Two, he's sweating and the store is chilly. Three, he's a little flushed. Four, his eyes seem glassy. Getting in closer, he lightly squeezes Shiro's shoulder and hides his expression. Shirt is damp. He's been distressed for a while.
"What about pine? You always had some weird thing for forest scented crap."
"No, that was Adam. I was the one who liked spearmint and wintergreen."
"So why did you always smell like-.... ? Ah."
Shiro turns red. "I know Curtis likes cinnamon. But I don't see that here."
"There's stuff that's kinda minty," Keith points out. "You can buy whatever you want." Personally he thinks having to change your scent to please your partner is ridiculous. Probably why he's not much for dating. "See this one?" He cracks the lid to sniff and then hands it over, watching Shiro's hand like a hawk.
The shaking is still there. He's still beading sweat around his hairline and his hair is starting to stick to his face.
"That's kind of the problem," Shiro mutters, sniffing the bottle. It smells nice. Shampoo. Okay. So now just body wash. Maybe something for dry skin? He's been itchy lately and Curtis is probably right. He's probably drying his skin out. He can take care of himself a little better for Curtis. "Is there matching body wash?" He asks, trying to read labels without giving away the entire aisle is swimming. He's so stressed out. Which is how he ended up just grabbing a random bottle and bailing the first time around.
Keith looks at him and back at the shelf quizzically before picking it up from right in front of Shiro and handing it to him. "Says ultra cleansing. Isn't that code for: will dry your skin out?"
"Oh. Maybe I should pick something else."
Unsure of what to make of this, he shrugs. "You could just get the same brand you used to, and pick a different scent."
Shiro shifts uncomfortably. "I can't remember what it was," he admits. "I'm missing a lot here and there," he tugs absently on his bangs. Remembering how his skull had been cracked open.
"It's this stuff in the red bottles. It's got some stupid names, though." He tries to keep his expression neutral. He knew Shiro had issues remembering everything that happened while he was enslaved as a gladiator. He had no idea Shiro had also lost any time before then.
"Whatever's there is fine."
"Maybe Lance would be more helpful," Keith suggests. Then they both look at each other and laugh. "Okay so definitely not. But hey there's only four options, so."
They test out each bottle, Shiro hates the first. Keith the second. The third and fourth take a while to decide between. Shiro just picks up the matching shampoo and dumps it in.
"Do you think I need more clothes?" He asks hesitantly.
Keith kind of stares. "Judging by your apartment? Probably." Watching Shiro looking over at something on the other end of the men's care aisle, he realizes he doesn't want to help shop for the next thing. "What kind of candy? I'll grab that while you finish up here."
Realizing Keith figured it out, he turns red. "Uh. He'll eat pretty much anything that isn't black licorice. But he's kinda partial to anything sour and then chocolate with almonds or peanuts."
"Got it."
"Thanks." Shiro wanders down to the other end of the men's aisle. There's an overwhelming amount of things and he's realizing he's not sure if Curtis has preferences. And his personal comm is off at work. And Shiro isn't going to call him about condom brands on a Garrison line. They're all recorded. While he's not sure if it will be days, weeks, or months until they need any supplies he'd rather have them on hand.
Thinking about what he's used before, he doesn't see any familiar packaging and the aisle blurs in and out of his vision for a minute. There, he grabs a few things. He's not into anything all that interesting, and looking at some of the grocery-store approved toys makes him feel uncomfortable. A few things look like something the Galra would have found a way to weaponize and use and while he's sure before all this he would have been game... Now he isn't. He realizes he doesn't even really want Curtis on top of him, either. Or at least, not inside him.
-
He can still feel the blood running down the inside of his thighs. Sometimes just dripping steadily down without touching his body at all. They'd ripped him open in a new way. Trying to find some other way to torture and scare him. He has no idea how they guessed that, or if it was half accidental. They hadn't realized that human joints really weren't that flexible when they broke his elbow. Just testing his limits.
Shuddering he's terrified of the scarring ripping open again. Of just anything tearing into him.
Trying to imagine if he could go down on Curtis his throat tightens and he swallows hard against a gag. What if it feels like the feeding tube they'd forced down his throat? He'd been refusing to eat after. Had tried to hide the bleeding. When it stopped he'd been so depressed he'd given up hope and reopened the wound. Tore skin. Hadn't cared. He'd wanted to bleed to death. They'd stapled the wound shut, drugged him with a paralytic that did nothing about the fact he couldn't sleep, shoved a tube down his throat, and chained him spread eagle so he couldn't move so much as an inch and inflict more damage.
-
Keith finally can't spend more time in candy and goes back to find Shiro. He's worried. He recognizes the stricken look he sees and gently takes Shiro's hand and pulls him away. "You can't get pregnant anyway, you don't need those."
Blinking and coming to, "school really failed you, didn't it?" He asks absently.
"You're cleared of any and all diseases and so's he. Nothing he can give you or vice versa."
"Maybe he doesn't like to swallow," Shiro says conversationally, still shaky. He knows Keith hates when he talks bluntly about this kind of stuff. So it'll stop the conversation in its tracks.
Keith makes a face. "Let's go find you a shirt that isn't black or grey?" He suggests.
"I look good in those colors."
"Yeah Shiro everyone does. What colors does Curtis like?"
Everything, Shiro wants to say. Curtis is full of life and color in spite of everything. "Purple. Galaxy purple like in those hubble telescope photos..." He says softly, thinking of the prints he's seen in Curtis' apartment. "Dark blue..." His bedroom.
"Great. There you go."
"Black and grey used to bring out my eyes..." Shiro teases, fluttering his eyelashes and trying to recover from earlier.
"And match your hair." Keith just shrugs and smiles blandly.
They wander over to the clothing section and browse. Shiro ends up with a simple deep purple henley, a dark navy vneck sweater, and Keith convinces him to try a maroon vneck tee and deep green henley, too. "Add some color old man."
They drop the groceries off, Shiro throws the meat and some seasoning into the crock pot. He can't bake to save his life but he can dump things in a pot and walk away. While he's busy Keith discovers Shiro's battered running shoes. After lecturing the other man about his knees and feet taking unnecessary damage he forces Shiro back out to get new shoes.
Then he drags him to get some nicer towels, a second set of sheets, and some actual jeans, and some nice button ups so Shiro can dress up a little without going full uniform. Shiro only has 2 pairs of black pants and Keith feels odd realizing what they're doing. Maybe he he should have let Curtis do this. But Shiro started on his own. Keith just helped him finish. And made sure he had more than just the absolute bare minimum cheapest crap he could pick in two seconds.
When they get back Keith helps him load all the fabric into the wash so it'll be ready before Curtis gets back. He has a feeling the other man will appreciate all the changes. Looking at the clock he's surprised its only a little after 1400 hours.
He notices Shiro never really stops shaking, and he seems uncomfortable the whole time. Not unwilling just not himself, either. "Do you remember forcing me to pick out clothes?" He asks suddenly.
"Yeah you were a real shithead."
"Thanks for not returning the favor."
"Wouldn't know how to be that obnoxious even if I tried," Shiro smiles.
"So magnanimous."
Shiro shakes his head a little. He flops tiredly onto the couch unsure what to make of all of it.
Keith lets Shiro sleep, fear mounting in his chest cavity. He switches the laundry into the dryer. He's not sure what to do to help Shiro. But at least the man has food. Nice sheets, soft towels. New, clean clothes. The food smells good, and Keith finds himself puttering around looking for things to do, because he's afraid to leave Shiro alone.
Eventually he settles on the couch, putting a hand on Shiro's chest to feel his heartbeat. It seems steady. Normal. Healthy. But the tremors, the sweating, the indecision... It's all so concerning.
Eventually the dryer dings softly. Keith gets up and finds himself remaking the bed, folding clothes and more or less pacing around again. Somewhat amused he's the one taking care of Shiro for a change, he settles back down on the couch when the housekeeping is done, watching him sleep.
He dozes off eventually, and wakes up to the door sliding open.
Curtis smiles as Keith hastily exits, and sniffs the air appreciatively.
Kneeling down by the couch he presses a gentle kiss on Takashi's forehead. "Hey handsome," he smiles gently. "Wake up, love."
Takashi blinks awake, and smiles when he sees Curtis. Curtis gently strokes his cheek and kisses him.
"You hungry?" He asks gently. "Food smells good, what is it?"
"Brisket, and I have veggie salad in the fridge. Just needs dressing."
"Sounds good to me, you ready?"
"Yeah. Keith ran me ragged."
"I can see that. Once we eat do you just wanna go back to bed?"
"No, we should talk."
"Okay," Curtis agrees. Kissing his forehead again he stands up. Watches Takashi shift an arm under himself and sit up, and ease his body off the couch. He seems like he's moving easier. Less stiff.
Takashi quietly gets out plates and silverware, still half asleep. Pulling the salad out he has 2 choices for dressing and lets Curtis pick. Dumping food onto his plate, he settles at the counter and waits for Curtis to do the same.
When he's done serving himself, he unbuttons his uniform, and settles the jacket across the back of his chair. "Thanks for dinner."
"Of course," Takashi smiles back. They bump knees as they eat. He's happy to eat quietly, the hustle and bustle of running errands and dealing with people has him drained. The nap helps but just sitting there with his leg against Curtis' makes him feel better. That and not being required to talk around the food.
Half wondering if they should have talked first, in case he made himself sick, he breathes out a sigh through his nose.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I didn't mean to wear myself out so badly, though. Sorry."
Curtis nudges his leg, "it's fine."
When he finishes he rinses off his dishes and loads them.
"You cooked, I would have cleaned up."
"You do most of the hard work in our relationship, I think," Shiro smiles. "I can handle some dishes."
Curtis frowns a bit, but decides that can be part of their conversation later. He's absolutely not going to let that slide. Their needs just look different. He smiles when Takashi pulls out a sack of candy. And then laughs when he realizes how full it is. "Trying to fatten me up?"
"I just... There'll always be some here for you."
Holding out his hand he takes Takashi's gently as he comes around the counter and tugs him in close, between his legs. Tipping his face up they kiss for a few moments. Soft and gentle. They pull away and smile. Takashi is a little pink and Curtis smiles. Seems like everything works fine now.
24 notes · View notes
scstoll · 6 years ago
Text
This is EMIGRATION live on RTE2!! #awaygame
Tumblr media
I woke up. Everyone around me was still asleep.I pushed my head against the cold window. The minibus pushed on past Leixlip towards the M4 and the end of the world. 
“Johnny Giles here, we´re live from the Airport Hopper where _________
___________  is just the latest transfer to attempt to search in some vague and sunny destination the antidote to the mild disappointment served in the overpriced glass of craft beer which we call Ireland.”
The Airport Hopper passed by three track-suited lads on a jaunting carriage, like the last of the Mohicans who hadn't noticed as the 21st century had apparated, Harry Potter style, around them.
I shuffled the left-over papers in the empty seat beside me. Irish Times columns, Indo rags, the Leinster Leader. My eyes settled on a lone op-ed from the Irish Times, the class of a thing which helps people pretend that they are still middle class. “You wouldn’t believe what Niamh did?´´ it proclaimed. Just like that I was back in every single conversation that anyone has ever had about them newspapers...I´d just sit there  there falling asleep, like literally passing out on top of my scrambled eggs while _________ is still talking. It’s not that they´re boring, It’s just that we live too close to each other.  So yes, I would believe whatever Niamh did, because in Irish logic I am practically her. All of that stuff wasn´t for me anymore; exotic O’Neills jerseys, useless Irish times columns (e.g. 10 reasons why I am both a) rich and b) deeply unfulfilled). I thought to myself;  All that was for whoever comes back. I mean, who ever comes back?
Here disappointment is general, hope exceptional. I was my own favourite TV show. In the strange moonlight of the Airport Hopper you could watch yourself back in the Cinema Nostalgia but it seems better not to. I mean, It would always have sounded better to stick it out at home. At what point did we become so fucking worried about how our decisions sounded?  How much of your life is an echo chamber and how much is just echo?  Of course, taking a moral stand is for people with plus size bank accounts. I´d try and drown that one out once I was sat by the departures lounge as my phone refreshed endlessly and my pint grew less and less appetising. Christ, why'd we ever let it go so far?
“Eamonn Dunphy here, lets have a look at some classic highlights from the last year or so...”
A dozen pubs and three or four funerals and no weddings just yet. Eventually they all just became the same generic social event in which people drink for a while and then countdown to the next one. Slow down says the lads. And then sure there was surely no stopping us?
“ Johnny Giles here, I have to disagree with Eamonn there.  I was under the impression that there had never really been any starting ´us´? 
Well Johnny, I´d have to concur. We are all the same people. We are all the exact same people we were ten years ago. The world has up and gone without us and those with even an ounce of sense have gone to Vancouver but I'll still tell you to slow down because I haven't changed a bit and I don't actually remember what ambition is meant to feel like. All I feel is nausea.
In a way, you missed the lads even though they were at nothing. To be a bit happy by yourself wasn't as good as being a bit miserable with others. But I mean how long does it really take to get Maynooth to Dublin and back? About forty odd years. 
And how exactly did I, a member of the most over-educated and over-prepared generation in recent Irish history end up in this small bus surrounded by part-time airport workers and cold American tourists, shivering my way towards Terminal 1?
Eamonn again, “I´d like to play another one here, it´s not a great highlight but it really gives us an insight into the build up..”
I remember being stood plonked by the Massive Mace outside Donabate, filling up on petrol and yet more coffee.  Every cup was an an adventure, sickly sweet and unfulfilling. Eventually waving becomes the same thing as drowning. The interview hadn´t gone well from the time the principal had fallen asleep during my answer to her first question. The clearly senile second interviewer was still pure convinced I was a student and not a teacher. The principal had been rudely awakened by her own snores so she had to ask another question. She looked at me in a stern and slightly off-centre way, “Tell me, why do you think you should get one of the literally 7 jobs going this summer, please tell the truth?” 
And I'd just sit there like an awkward Obi Wan Kenobi. Thinking to myself ´truth, now that's a name I've not heard in a long fucking time´.
As I began my reply she started checking her phone and by now the second interviewer was starting to nod off too. So I suppose I panicked. I´m still not sure how my by now cold cup of Frank&Honest made it from my hand to splashing both of them awake, but by God it did.
The coffee dripped down her face like a mask that had melted. I grabbed my coat and walked quietly out the door.
The principal stuttered in silence like an android that had malfunctioned.
The truth is that once you have too much skin in the game; you are the game.
“Oh well, that one was probably best left to the imagination” Says Eamonn Dunphy.
Thanks Eamonn, thanks for everything.
Still and all you could still find yourself victim to the nostalgia express approaching from the unlikeliest of angles. Come back to me Wexford town. Visions of it being sunny for an ages long stretch in the summer and tiny country shops through Baltinglass, Tinahiely and Carnew. Even Rathvilly not looking as scary in the July sun. Playing handball on Cullenstown beach and after going up through Enniscorthy to have pints in the sun outside the Stores because one day a year makes all the rest of them worth it. 
“Johnny Giles here to pop that particular rhetorical bubble. Roll the tape”.
Visions of a lad lamping a boxer outside of the Stores in the November drizzle. People cleaning sick up off the walls on a Sunday. Lads sitting in empty pubs wearing wife-beaters like sad, violent Hardy Bucks cast-offs. Just Gorey in general. 
Come back to me Wexford town. But not for the love of God, as you actually are.
By now the other passengers were beginning to wreck the mini mental RTE panel which is the moral arbitrator of all Irish men who are not quite thirty yet and not quite 21 anymore.
The Americans were complaining about the bus´s not so new plastic upholstery. A disaster is what they were calling it, and an international incident was in the works.
The chairs were just a bit cracked in the middle is what I reckon, but I didn´t get a chance to reckon out loud because an elderly and probably mentally ill women had been awoken. 
She had no clue what was going on but she didn´t give two fucks. Approaching the conversation at an intersecting angle the women spoke.
“That's what happened to my marriage” she blurted out, content, she returned to cloud cuckoo land.
The sentence hung in the air like an unfinished simile. The bus stopped. I got out. 
As I went by the arrivals lounge I watched the tourists return from Fuengirola, sunburnt and broke. The faraway grass has always got to be greener until you get there. I mean you never see lads in holiday Insta-stories with t-shirts saying ..“Well, this is not class”.
“As always a big thank you from myself and all the lads. See you next time on ´This is emigration, live on RTE2!”
I took the small suitcase; hurried into Terminal 1. On the plane I watched Netflix so that I  wouldn’t be tempted to look back at the houses growing smaller and further away with each crippling second. 
Anyway, líon na bearnaí for yourselves lads.  
“A nation holds its breath...”
2 notes · View notes
riseofarmy · 4 years ago
Text
03 | DO YOU EVER LOOK AT SOMEONE AND WONDER
Tumblr media
i can do this all day 03 | do you ever look at someone and wonder
author : @riseofarmy
pairing : kim seokjin x original character
words : 2533
i can do this all day masterlist
previous chapter
Tumblr media
SEOKJIN
How isn't she tired yet?
I'm tired, and I've only been floating behind her for the last three-ish hours. When she first noticed that I was laying on air, her dumb cat hissed at me, but she just widened her eyes for a second before ignoring me.
Maybe she's just been desensitised by all the stuff she got sprung with today.... which is strange because people usually come looking for the lamp knowing there's a djinn inside. Then again, it's been a while since I've been awaked this far in the past, and it's further in the future that people know about the 'genie' myth.
I know that my first few masters summoned me one after another, but somewhere along the line, I started serving people from all different times. That stunning suit I had on before was made for one of the most popular boy groups of the 21st century, but I hadn't considered that I would be so far back in time that it would be ridiculed.
I still can't believe that: my master tried to kill me, then barely two minutes later made fun of my sexy jacket and oh my god, I don't even know her name.
"Oh my god, I don't even know your name." The little terror on her shoulder stares at me with its dumb, beady eyes.
"Darling." She didn't even turn to me when she answered.
"What?"
"My name. It's Darling. Darling Surya".
Darling. I size her up, running my gaze over her. Her face was a little plain, but it looked downright fierce with her buzz-cut and wicked jawline. Paired with her long jacket and the general get-out-of-my-way vibe she gives off, she doesn't seem like a Darling at all.
"Darling? Is it weird when some random person calls you darling without realising it's your name?"
"I had been using the name Surya while I pretended to be a man, so I've never had to experience that." Wow, plot twists be like.
"Why did you pretend to be a man?"
"Because all women are good for is marriage, and I needed a job to save up money so I could come here."
Yikes, alright then. I have a feeling she's always this intense.
She has my interest piqued though, and I keep asking her questions. She's blunt at first, obviously preoccupied by something else, but eventually she relaxes enough to give me more detailed answers. I even suck up my dislike to her dumb cat and float beside her instead of behind, and she doesn't seem to mind.
I learn that her father is from Daehan-Minguk and her mother from Paaratham (modern-day South Korea and India respectively, which explains her darker skin) and that she was a heavy labourer for two years to save up money to move from Paaratham to Daehan-Minguk.
She explains that the king is an asshole - making downright treasonous comments about him throughout - and that we were currently going to his son's birthday ball.
She doesn't tell me why we're going, though, because supposedly she's 'still sorting it out', but it must be something serious since she dances around the question with a tight expression until I ask her about her cat.
It's a little strange to just talk like this.
I always make sure to learn about each of my masters so I can serve them better. Darling, though... she one of the few who I can say don't feel like a master. Most of the others went straight to telling me everything they would do with the money they were going to wish for themselves, or the apparently tragic stories that made them so deserving of the power they wanted.
Darling, just talked about her parents and Yoongi a lot, and even asked me questions about being a djinn.
She was baffled when I told her I've served people from different times, mouth dropping and fingers tightening on the lamp which she still held in her hand, and she wanted to know what the world is like in the future. When I told her about phones, though, she decided I was making it up and asked something else.
Still, it felt nice to talk to Darling. Nice enough that another hour and a half passed without me noticing, and soon enough, dusk had fallen and we were approaching the nearest town.
"I know an inn nearby, but I'm not sure how people would react if they saw someone in the air. I think you should stop floating for a bit." Darling looks pointedly at me until I set my feet on the ground with a huff.
"Silly humans and your non-floating ways. Do you realise how much of a time-waster walking is?"
"My bad, Seokjin. I'll make sure that next time I'm born as a genie." My lips curl into a grin of their own accord at her response, and I see her own do the same out of the corner of my eye.
The streets of the town are busy, but Darling navigates them fairly easily. It becomes more and more apparent, though, that there is currently something going on - people are bustling around busily, and Darling looks increasingly worried until we finally end up in front of an inn.
Inside, I immediately understand why Darling looked troubled - the inn is almost overflowing with people. Darling runs a hand over her buzz-cut and pushes the lamp deep into her pocket, then tells me to wait in the corner while she talks to the innkeeper. I try to follow her anyway, but she gives me a wicked glare and leaves her cat next to me so I stay put.
"What are you looking at?" The cat doesn't even blink, just lays down next to my feet. It doesn't seem to mind when I crouch closer to it, so I give its fur an experimental poke.
It opens its eyes lazily, slowly flicking its tail in my direction until I give it another poke, soft this time. Dumb cat. I could make you disappear from existence right now and you wouldn't even realise. As if sensing my thoughts, the cat bats at my hand, but then lets me pat it again.
"Yoongi likes you." Darling, who appeared without me even realising, looks down with sickeningly love-filled eyes at the cat.
"He what now?"
"Yoongi. He doesn't like anyone touching him except me, but he seems to be okay with you."
"Oh. Well, that's too bad for him because I hate cats."
"If you say so." She raises her eyebrows as if she doesn't believe me, but before I can reaffirm that no, really, I hate cats, she jerks her head to the stairs that I think lead to the rooms. "It's good we came here first, because the other inn is already full. There's a festival in Mansae the day before the ball, so people are staying here on their way to it and there's only one room left here. You okay with that?"
"I live in a lamp, Darling, I'm sure I can manage." She gives me a small smile and hikes her rucksack up before picking up her cat.
The innkeeper comes to us with a very capitalist smile and leads us to our room. He doesn't shut up, somehow managing to fit his life story, three comments about how 'we're never been this busy' and even an offer for me to marry his daughter in the two minutes he has our attention.
Darling just rolls her eyes when we're finally shown our room, and I remember her words from before - 'all women are good for is marriage'. I wonder if the innkeeper's daughter knew she was basically being given away by her own dad.
"Seokjin!" I pop my head into the room, which Darling had already unlocked and was going through. It was just big enough for a bed, a small table with a chair, and a tub behind a bamboo screen to bathe in.
"Yeah?"
"We have to get to the palace by tomorrow afternoon, so we're leaving early." She grabs a pillow from the bed to fluff it before throwing it back down. "You sleep here, I'll take the chair."
I think the sight of me floating has completely disappeared from her brain. "Darling. Sweetheart. You are a human, and need sleep. I am a genie, and have my lamp and don't need to sleep. Take the bed."
Darling's hand had been hovering protectively over her pocket, but now she pulls the lamp out of it and glances up at me.
"Oh. I guess that makes sense. I thought you wouldn't be too thrilled at the idea of going back into your lamp so soon. Plus, I wasn't planning on sleeping."
That makes me pause, and I consider her predicament for a moment. Darling - visibly tired, stressed out and her mind obviously occupied by something that she's been turning over for who-knows-how-long, yet here she is offering me a bed. Me. A literal genie with my whole-ass magic thing going on. Because she thinks I would be sick of being in my perpetual home one more night. Cute.
Then I notice how tight her grip on the lamp is, and that's when something clicks in my brain.
Hah. I wonder if she realises how easy it is to read her.
"Interesting, Darling, but may I offer a proposition? You sleep on the bed, your dumb cat can do whatever, and I'll do my floating business. Win-win-win, am I right? Also, c'mere."
She widens her eyes warily when I hold my hand out for the lamp, but passes it over with some hesitancy.
"What are you doing?"
"Trust me, Darling."
I watch her expression morph from confusion to distress as I melt the golden lamp into a chain-link necklace. Taking a step closer to her, I reach across the space between us to loop the chain around her neck and seal the ends together so there isn't an opening to the necklace. The purple gem thing - even after all this time, I don't know what it is - rests just below her collarbone, glinting in the dim light from the candle we were given.
"There you go! Now you can sleep without having to worry about losing it! Wow! You can thank me now!" I smile at her, but she doesn't notice. She fiddles with the necklace experimentally, a frown bringing her eyebrows together.
"What if someone pulls it off?" How Darling of her, always going around ruining the mood with her silly questions.
"Nopsies, the only ones who can even touch it are you and me. And your stupid cat. And I'm the only one who can take it off you or change its shape, so hurry up and thank me you ungrateful shit." I smile wider, tilting my head in expectation, and the tiniest hint of a grin graces her lips.
"Thank you, Seokjin."
"You are absolutely welcome, Darling dear. Now sleep." Before she can say anything else, I push her onto the bed and tap her forehead. She doesn't even have a chance to look surprised before she's unconscious, fast asleep as the purple remnants of my magic curl around her head.
I pull a blanket over her and poke my tongue out at her dumb cat when it jumps up to sleep next to her. It ignores me.
Oh well.
Tumblr media
"Look, Mansae will be in front of us in a second. We'll be able to see the sea too."
Darling draws my attention to the view ahead of me, where we're about to break through the forest's treeline.
She woke up at fuck-all o'clock to find me playing on my Nintendo, and barely ten minutes later we were out of the town and on our way to the palace. We avoided the main road until now by picking our way through the mountain, but we were close enough to the capital, Mansae that we couldn't avoid it any longer.
With one last turn, the palace is laid bare in front of us.
The main road snakes to the palace and the houses and markets that surround it, which were in turn set within a wide valley circled by the Mansae mountain range. Through the space between two of the mountains, we could see the faint glimmer of the ocean far away. The palace itself was a spread of white towers spearing the sky, the path leading to it choked with people weaving between markets.
We join the crush of people heading to the palace for Jungkook's birthday-and-wife-picking-ceremony and are instantly shoulder-to-shoulder with sweaty strangers. Darling's elbow digs into my side as we walk, but she's too focused on babying her dumb cat to realise. I bear with it until we reach the markets, but I can't stand it anymore.
"Darling your elbow has been jackhammering a hole into my ribs for an hour."
She practically rips her gaze away from her cat to look up at me. "Seokjin, I can promise you that you are not the only one in this crush of people with an elbow in your ribs. Still, sorry about that, I wish there wasn't so much of a crowd."
"Ohoho, is that your first wish?" I waggle my eyebrows at her jokingly, but she doesn't realise I'm only kidding.
"No! No, that is not a wish!" She seems to be visibly panicking, a flush climbing her throat as she splutters in her attempt to make sure her wish isn't used. Cute.
"Okay okay, that's not your wish, I get it. But uhh, now that we're on the topic... What is your first wish?"
"I'll tell you when it comes to it." Ah yes, Darling - putting up brick walls faster than you can ask her questions. This time, though, that's not an option.
"Nopesies, you have to tell me. Come on bestie."
"I will. If I need to. Do I really need to? Can't I just say it when I need it to happen?"
Some times, it's a real bother being the only smart person on a whole planet of dummies. But that's okay - I suck back my exasperation and hide it behind a tight smile.
"Okay. Look. Here's the deal, Darling. It's obvious to me by now that you are not going to wish for money or power or whatever else my masters usually want. If, when you make your wish, it isn't precise enough or it's something I can't grant, I will not know what to give you and that's a wish wasted. I need you to explain this big idea of your's, or else I literally cannot do my job properly, so please tell me: what is going on inside your head?"
The flush on her neck spreads to her face as she mutters something without meeting my eye, but I miss it because she says it so quietly.
"What was that?"
Squaring her shoulders, Darling turns and holds my gaze straight on. There's some emotion tightening her face that I can't fully decipher, something between agitation and determination
"I need you to make the prince fall in love with me."
Tumblr media
i can do this all day masterlist
next chapter
Tumblr media
0 notes
universeconspired · 7 years ago
Note
"Honestly, I've got a headache, alright?"
          All of her time with Dom had felt completely open. Regardless of how they were feeling, how bad the day was or how horrendous their moods were? There was never a moment where she’d felt shut out. Until today. And even then, she couldn’t blame him. Frankly, she was terrified of the reality the next few months held for her - if she was that lucky. Between countless hospital visits with experimental treatments to try and correct some foreign invading antigen - apparently a fluke accident and hyper-reaction to something in the lab - and the reality on the table that her survival chances were so low the doctors wouldn’t give a number? It felt like some horrific nightmare to deal with. It would have been so easy for her to simply accept her fate, spend the rest of her days in sweats and bumbling around their small apartment while watching Netflix and eating whenever she actually had an appetite. However, there was something in her that was determined to make the most of the time she had left before her life was restrained to IVs and hospital beds and begging for them to just let her go home so she could be comfortable.
          Since hearing about her prognosis, her entire focus had been on Dom. Partially, she was grateful for the distraction. Worrying about him and his future should experimental treatments merely be some placebo to trick them into thinking doctors were trying something... Well, it occupied her mind and allowed her to get through the hours when he was working and she was on forced sick leave. Although, even two weeks down the line, those hours had seemed to be less about sorting through all the necessities to take pressure off Dom’s shoulders and more on focusing on those hours being when she embraced being sick. They were full of sleeping, spending time curled up on the bathroom floor counting down the seconds until the breakfast that Dom had lovingly made and brought her way would be rejected from her stomach, and sometimes allowing herself to feel that blind fear and frustration. 
          Even with this new routine on her hands, Nova had ensured that funeral plans had been almost set in stone. Everything was paid for with the remaining savings she’d kept before refusing any more financial help from her parents and the rather generous pay out from the pharmaceutical lab she’d been working for. There were letters drafted for friends and family, mostly just trying to ensure they had something that they could hold onto. She’d organised rent for their apartment to be paid from the remaining money in her account so Dom didn’t have to worry. And her will had been settled to ensure that Dom got everything. Still, even with this obsessive organisation to attempt to make the transition to life without her easier, Nova couldn’t make the current situation any easier. Perhaps leaving some of the leaflets and information booklets she’d picked up from the doctor’s on her weekly vitals check hadn’t helped. Maybe his day had been rather strained. And it didn’t matter if she put a brave face on or not, Dom wasn’t stupid. He was simply trying to adopt some form of strength for her, just like she was trying to do in return for him.
Tumblr media
          Still, the words stung just slightly - she doubted strongly that he had a headache. Had Nova not been so accepting of her situation and understanding how difficult it was for Dom, she possibly would have snapped back in some attempt to stir up an argument. Getting him to blow up and actually talk was, sometimes, the only way to really understand the dips in moods. Yet, right now, she was tired and it didn’t take a genius to know that he just needed some time to have that lapse in strength. And so, she’d given it; tidying the kitchen, discarding her barely touched dinner into the bin with an overwhelming guilt at the waste, trying to make the lounge a little less like some fleece throw factory hadn’t just exploded over every surface. Eventually, however, she was both tired and selfishly needed Dom enough to crack.
          Slightly breathless, Nova quietly pushed open the bedroom door. Maybe it could be the benefit of the doubt - perhaps he did have a headache and needed to sleep it off. And yet, as soon as the door gave that predictable squeak of the hinges and Dom reconfirmed his reason for being in there in the first place, Nova was convinced she was right all along. “I know,” she stated simply. There was no point in calling him out or suggesting she believed otherwise. Instead, Nova shifted to lay on her side of the bed without any further conversation. The change in altitude left her needing a second to right her somewhat clouded brain, her heart rate increasing for a split moment to an uncomfortably fast panicky feeling until her blood pressure settled again. Only then did she turn to face him, shifting just slightly until at the barrier of some invisible bubble around Dom. Encroaching when he didn’t want her there wasn’t a smart idea and so being tactful about this emotionally raw moment was far more important than giving in to her selfish want; even if demanding he hold her, so she could get that body warmth and pretend everything was okay, was incredibly tempting.
          “I love you.” The whisper was followed by a tentative hand, reaching for his own in a silent question: Are we okay? It was stupid really. The fact she was sick and causing such an emotional ride wasn’t exactly her fault, nor was it Dom’s. It wasn’t anyone’s fault at all. Simply one of those things that the Universe had in the cards for them. If the moment wasn’t so tender, she perhaps would have joked about how the Universe or some higher power had considered them too perfect together and just couldn’t let them continue in such a way. As it was, falling into a weirdly comfortable silence, given the circumstances, felt far more necessary in that moment. Her fingers gently brushed over his knuckles while her eyes closed with a soft hum, giving in to her own tiredness for just a second. 
          Right in that moment, Nova was glad she’d done just that. While she wasn’t necessarily a cryer, or anyone who really expressed emotions to those extremes on the regular, there was a sudden wave of emotion that washed over her and stung at her eyes. She wanted to apologise for putting him through this. Yet, Nova knew fine well it wasn’t something that she could apologise for. This wasn’t her fault and beating herself up like that was a ridiculous notion that she wouldn’t entertain. She wanted to plant some fake positivity in his mind that this was as easy as getting over chicken pox - just a little discomfort and not looking her best, but ultimately coming out of it unscathed. Yet, she knew it was cruel to lie to him like that. He wasn’t dumb or some stranger on the street that didn’t know her. He could tell. She knew that. She wanted to ensure he was going to be happy and okay without her. Yet, Nova knew fine well that asking that of him was an impossible task - not because she thought highly of herself, but because she knew that if the tables were turned she wouldn’t be okay with losing him.
Tumblr media
          As the wave passed, coupled with a few deeper breaths to stem off a small bout of nausea, Nova fixed a small smile to her face and opened her eyes again. “Do you have any more time to take off work? We could go somewhere for the long weekend? Rome? Paris? Some weird goat farm in the middle of Switzerland?” It was a weak attempt to make Dom laugh, or at least smile, even though she knew she was pushing it in that moment. Still, remaining positive and making the most of the time they had left together was something she was downright determined to do. “We could blow all of our money and get first class plane seats and a five star hotel in Thailand. Or go on safari in South Africa. Or Peru. God, I always wanted to go to Peru. We should go there, hm?” Her voice, while a little more animated, was still soft as if still allowing him to bask in this headache bubble while she tried to pull him out of the funk of reality as gently as possible. In reality, however, it only resigned her to making sure she recorded a message to stop him from making a really terrible decision once she wasn’t there to do just that.
1 note · View note
curegbm · 5 years ago
Text
Susan Foster info for health -
July 7, 2020
When I was a junior in college I went to school in Vienna. One of my friends was Martina Nicholson. She became an OB/GYN, and just retired last year. She has a colleague, Dr. Richard Loftus, who is a biohazard virology-trained hospitalist. In other words he is treating COVID-19 patients in the hospital. I've read a lot of these accounts and this is the most powerful one I've ever read. It makes you want to hand out masks to everyone who's not wearing one. I am going to print this and carry copies with me when I'm walking. I will hand this out to people who don't have masks. If anybody gives me a hard time for my post on masks, you will get a copy of Dr. Loftus' brilliant, raw, painful account of what it's like treating these patients. What really struck me is how sick young previously healthy patients are 3 – 4 months post release from the hospital. Please be careful. Do not, for one more second, doubt this is real.
From Martina Nicholson, MD:
From my friend Dr Rick Loftus, MD. yesterday (7/2/20), update about Covid-19:
I'm in a hotspot hospital in a hotspot region (Coachella Valley, Inland Empire, CA). We just converted the entire second floor of our hospital to COVID-19 care yesterday, July 1. We have 65 inpatients with COVID-19 in a hospital with 368 beds. It is the same at our other 2 hospitals in the Valley. We spent yesterday deciding the ethical way to divide up limited remdesivir (30 patients' worth) for the hospital patients. My 20 incoming interns for our IM resident were exposed to COVID 2 weeks ago during their computer chart training; apparently 100% of our computer trainers had COVID19. One intern tested positive 7 days later and I insisted we re-test them all again, as there are almost certainly other cases with minimal symptoms. I raided my household and took my entire supply of face shields to the hospital for the residents to wear on their first day, and I paid $1000 of my own money to equip all of my residents with medical-grade face shields. I require all residents to wear a surgical mask or N95 with face shield if they are within 6 feet of another human, patient or coworker.
Roughly 20% of our inpatients die. Only 30% of our ventilated patients survive. (We try to avoid ventilation at all costs. Some people insist on being full code and decompensate despite high flow with face mask, proning, dexamethasone, antibiotics, and a cocktail of famotidine, zinc, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, NAC, and melatonin--we throw everything we can at each case, so long as it won't hurt them.)
My administrative assistant, who sits adjacent to the interns, just went home with COVID symptoms. Her test is pending.
In the Southwest, we are experiencing catastrophic exponential growth. I have had multiple families--siblings, parent-child, spouses--admitted with COVID-19. I had a 31 year old come in satting 78% on room air; he had been sequestering himself in his bedroom for a week to avoid infecting his elderly parents, with whom he lived. His sister, the only person he saw outside his immediate household in the 10 days prior to onset of fever, cough, and dyspnea, had also had fevers but had tested "negative" at our other large hospital so he thought it was safe to visit her. (Sigh. The Quest PCR test is about 80% sensitive, we think--it had emergency approval to sensitivity data was not required. The Cepheid rapid COVID PCR test is 98.5% sensitive but is in short supply due to limited reagent availability.)
I'm glad some of you are sheltered from what unbridled COVID-19 looks like. It's a hell show. This is *July*. What do you think my hospital will look like in winter?...
This is real. Doctors in places with proper public health responses will see few cases in their hospitals--like UCSF--but let me tell you something: The laws of physics and biology don't change. If you're in an unaffected region, an introduction and poor governance and low use of physical distancing and masks will give you an exponential increase in no time flat (i.e. 2-4 weeks). That's pandemic math. And 20% of the population infected needs a hospital. You *will* run out of beds with an unbridled pandemic. There is almost ZERO pre-existing immunity to SARS-CoV-2. There may be some "priming" of T-cell responses due to exposure to other "benign" beta-coronaviruses, but we have no idea if that explains the 20-40% of people who seem to get minimal symptoms. Asymptomatic infected persons, however, can, and do, spread COVID to those who die from it.
By the way: I've seen scary looking CT scans of the lungs that look like terrible interstitial pneumonia in a patient who had ZERO symptoms and SaO2 94% on room air. She came in for palpitations and the intern overnight got a chest CT for cardiac reasons. We didn't know it was COVID until her test came back 36 hours later. So "asymptomatic" does NOT mean "no biological activity." The virus replicates furiously in people who feel fine. Kids can spread this as easily as grown ups, even if they feel okay.
Related: I've talked to two previously healthy patients ages 32 and 44 who are 3 and 4 months, respectively, post their acute COVID. They continue to have cough, nightsweats, fever, fatigue. How many survivors have "post-COVID syndrome"? We don't know. Less than 20% but we're not sure. I've asked my hospital to allow me to establish a post-COVID clinic to care for and study survivors. Both NIH and UW are planning similar efforts based on my dialogues with them.
Autopsies show anoxic brain injury in many patients who died of COVID, not to mention microthrombi throughout the lungs and megakaryocytes in massive infiltrations in their hearts and other organs. People get heart failure, lung fibrosis, and permanent kidney injury from COVID-19. This is a disease of the vascular systems, and it can affect any organ, with lungs and kidneys being especially at risk.
In early May, thanks to lockdown, our census of 55 came down to 10 COVID cases, and for a brief moment, I actually had hope that the worst nightmares I had about COVID, as a biohazard virology-trained hospitalist, would not come to pass. Then we re-opened, without test/trace/isolate systems anywhere close to adequate. Eight weeks ago my county decided to make masks "optional," despite 125 doctors begging them not to do that. Now we're worse than we were in April. And it's getting worse every day.
You wanna see if COVID is real? Come walk on my COVID ward with me. It's real. Hearing people talk about it as if it's an exaggeration is, well, rage-inducing, honestly. Denial is the most common reaction to a pandemic. Denial is how the US will wind up with 1.1 million deaths instead of 30,000. I saw AIDS denialists get killed by their belief that HIV "isn't real, it's a pharma conspiracy of the medical industrial complex." Yeah, right, if you say so. I watched patients with those beliefs die.
The hardest part about this is, every new case I treat exposes me. I have assiduous hot zone technique. But no technique is bulletproof. If you keep exposing me to case after case, eventually, the virus will get through my defenses. I'm a 50 year old hypertensive. I don't expect to do well if I get infected. For now, I keep going to work. I'm one of the few pushing forward on COVID clinical trials, basic science, public health messaging, and diagnostic studies at my hospital. I feel a responsibility to keep going. I wake up with nightmares every morning at 4am. But I'm going to keep going for now. I feel very alone a lot of the time. People are not taking this seriously, and it's costing lives. -R
"Everything we do before a pandemic will seem alarmist. Everything we do after a pandemic will seem inadequate. This is the dilemma we face, but it should not stop us from doing what we can to prepare. We need to reach out to everyone with words that inform, but not inflame. We need to encourage everyone to prepare, but not panic." — Michael O. Leavitt, 2007
--
Richard A. Loftus, MD
"Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world...would do this, it would change the earth." --William Faulkner
Tumblr media
0 notes
Note
I've been coughing up a lung all week and I'm still doing shit cause i gotta get stuff done. Could i get 2d and murdoc just dealing with an s/o who's sick and just doesn't know when to stop and they're just like 'babe no stop you're sick' ?
Sorry about how long this took! <3 And I hope you feel better :) 
Murdoc:
“Shit! I have to send this out before the post closes or my boss will have my head impaled on a stake by next week!”
You’ve been running around frantically all day trying to get everything done. Your sister called today asking if you could take your nephews while she goes to another job interview. You had to send this package, take the kids to school, pick them up, pick up a pizza pie for when they got hungry, all while “working” from home today. On top of all this you had a horrible sore throat and headache and the twins were screaming at each other.
“What’s all this?” Murdoc walks in the room looking at the rugrats.
“Ugh Mudz, I’m sorry I just had to take them for today and-” You say rushing by him, picking up pizza crusts from the floor and tossing them when he interrupts you
“You don’t look so good, love.” He saunters towards you looking worried, giving a glance to the kids before putting out his cigarette.
“Well thanks, that’s all I needed to hear!” You rolled your eyes and start looking for the car keys so you could get to the post office in time, suddenly you hear a jingle and look up to see Murdoc holding the keys by the loop on one of his long and sharp nails. You sigh and grab for the keys when he pulls them away..
“Ah ah ah! “ He tuts, “C’mere, love.”
“Mudz, I don’t have time for this!” You half yell, frustrated.
He gives you a serious look and you walk towards him. He reaches towards you, placing the back of his green tinted hand on your forehead gently.
“Babe no, stop, you’re sick! Yer burning up!” He exclaims, looking even more worried. You can actually see his eyebrows peep below his bangs as he frowns at you, pouting.
“Someone has to get all this shit done!” You say and flinch when you hear a crash. The future criminals were apparently playing catch with a vase…
“Okay that’s enough of that…” he turned towards the kids. “YOU TWO. SIT DOWN. SHUT UP. WATCH THE TELLY UNTIL YA MOTHER GETS HERE. I HERE A PEEP OUT OF ANY OF YOU AND YOU’LL BE CORTEZ’S DINNER.” He aggressively points to the raven that just flew in the room.
The boys look up and the green man and scuttle away towards the TV where they sit down quietly.
He moves Cortez and gently pets the beautiful bird looking at you with a grin “That works didn’t it? Now you just need to send this? Anything else? Alright then I’ll be off right away then, lets get you in bed.” Cortez hops on his head and he rolls his eyes at the bird “Bloody doofus…” He mutters, making you giggle. He manages to snag some pizza and a napkin as he pushes you towards the bedroom, he roughly shoves you in bed and tosses the slice on top of the napkin in your lap, then turns on the TV.
“Relax, love. I’ll be back soon! Stay in bed, call one of the mongrels over there, if you need anything. I’ll be home in 10 minutes, just going to drop this off for ya” He gestures to the package and kisses your forehead before he exits the room, leaving you stunned.
 2D:
You were sitting in a dark room, your desk and surrounding area the only things illuminated. A pencil in your hands and you other hand clutching your hard cover textbook, you have a final exam tomorrow and you’re just not getting it. You head is pounding, your throat is itchy, and your eyes are burning. But you have to drill this information through your head. Suddenly more light filters into the room, you take out your earplugs to hear your boyfriend mid sentence:
“-some takeout, would you like me to bring you some?” 2D says, walking towards you, eventually resting a hand on your shoulder.
“No thanks, D, I’m not really feeling so well”
“Whatsamatter?” He responds sounding worried, and he spins your desk chair so that you’re facing him. He sees your flushed cheeks, bagged eyes and pale lips and his black eyes widen with concern. “Wha- on earth are ya doin up if you’re this sick?” He squeaks.
“It’s nothing, I took a few dayquil already, I just have to study, I need to pass this exam.” You say trying to swivel the chair back to face the desk. Your attempt is futile as he puts both arms at your sides, gripping the tops of the chair, by your shoulders.
He leans in and moves his hands, positioning himself like he’s trying to give you a hug, he mutters: “Baby no, stop that, you’re sick.” by your ear; then both his arms were under your underarms, wrapped around you as he pulls you out the chair. He hoists you up and wraps your legs around his waist, moving his hands so that one is underneath your bottom, and the other supports your back. He’s holding you like he would hold a toddler, and he starts to walk out of your dark room, ignoring your protests.
You’re too weak to argue any longer so you give up and just sigh and lay your cheek on his shoulder. He walks down the hall holding you and ignoring a weird look from Russel, he says “Ey Russ, would you be able to make y/n here some soup?”
Russel seems to understand now and says “I’m on it!”
2D chuckles as he enters his room: “What did we do ta deserve Russel, amiright? He’s the only one of us in this place that actually knows how to cook!” He finishes his sentence and plops you on his bed, bringing the covers up. He lays next to you and turns on the TV. “What are ya in the mood for? A movie?”
“I need to study…” You grumble.
“Your health is more important than this class!” He exclaims. “Now you stay here, i’m going to help Russel. If I find out ya moved to get your book or anything I swear I’ll… I’ll…”
“You’ll what?” You raise an eyebrow, amused at his struggle to find a good threat.
“I’ll borrow Murdoc’s handcuffs and lock you to the bed next time! In fact, I’ll have him babysit ya!” He says confidently, proud of his ability to come up with a threat so quickly, smiling at your reaction as you grimace at the thought of having to spend time with that green stale pickle man.
“Fine.” You huff, secretly happy that you get to relax.    
570 notes · View notes