#captain magnum x gender neutral!reader

[orange-waterfalls]

I'm Havin' Feelings Fer Ye

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@lovefor-xreaders ty for the prompt!

A/N: Guess who has no life and wrote an entire 2,000 word fanfic all in one day? THIS ASSHOLE! im so fucking bored guys, please, this is all I have. Send prompts. Uh... Rated T for cursing and violence. I think mostly angst, fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2.3k

--

You danced around the ship with some of the other crewmates to shanties the captain sang. You found treasure! You actually found treasure! You had honestly expected to die at some point… but you didn't! And you found treasure! That was wonderful! You were starting to think the heist wasn't such a bad idea! Even though Mark's… gone… you'd be alright! You had treasure! You'd be alright…

Captain Magnum watched you as you danced around, a smile present on your face. It made him feel all weird inside… he'd lived long enough to know what love feels like… probably. This was not it… he didn't think… he honestly didn't know. But when he watched you spin and kick your feet and laugh… he felt real happy…

You danced for a while before you eventually got tired and sat down, panting. The captain and the crew were messing with the treasure. Picking it up and letting it fall back into the chest, examining it, biting it…

These people were weird…

You held out your hands for your share of the treasure, since you were being patient. He looked to you and set a small coin in your hand, curling your fingers and patting them. You squinted at him, wondering if he's actually serious. He seemed to be, since he headed to his quarters immediately after. You frowned, looking at the coin. You'd talk to him about that later…

Captain Magnum felt a bit bad about only giving you a coin. What else was he supposed to do? You might've left if he gave you more treasure! He couldn't have that! Then again… that seemed a bit manipulative… eh, you'd be fine. He sat down in his chair and thought about you.

You were an enigma to him.

He'd felt this way before… but it was so… prominent this time… why was he so fond of you? It's not like you were special! You just had beautiful skin and sparkly eyes and the most stunning smile he'd ever seen and...

Goddamnit, he was in love…

He sighed, wondering what he was going to do about this, when he heard a sharp knock at his door. He jumped a bit, not expecting anybody since it was pretty late. He stood up and walked over, opening the door. You were standing there with your arms crossed. He was going to greet you, but you looked pissed. He wondered why. Then, you held up the coin.

"Are you kidding?" You asked accusingly. "I'm your first mate, you trust me enough to choose where we go, and you give me this bullshit?" You started walking towards him. Despite the height difference, he felt a bit intimidated by you. He stepped back.

"Listen, I be th' cap'n. I already told ye, me share be more fair than others," he stated. You glared at him and he felt his stomach drop. "Ye knew wha' ye were gettin' into, ye can nah be angry," he crossed his arms. You sighed.

"Fine. Whatever," you mumbled as you left the cabin. He opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth again. You were already gone anyway. Nothing he could do about it now. He'd get some sleep and you'd be fine in the morning.

--

It had been a few days since you found the treasure. You weren't talking to Magnum. He kept glancing at you as you were swabbing the deck. Your smile was replaced with a frown. It was less of an angry frown and more of a sad frown, but it made him feel just as bad. He waited a while to talk to you because he didn't want to mess it up. He eventually decided that it was a good enough time to do so, and he walked over to you.

"Mornin', first mate! How did ye sleep?" He asked. You paused for a moment, but you didn't answer. "Uh... 'twas a bit windy last night, huh? Glad we got all th' loot inside..." you still didn't look up, but your frown got tighter. He patted his hands on his legs and sucked in a breath. "Wonderful weather we be havin'?" You finally stopped mopping and turn to him.

"What do you want?" You asked, exasperated. He frowned.

"Are ye okay? Ye seem upset…" he commented.

"Oh, no yeah I'm totally fine!" You scoffed. "My best friend's dead, the guy who killed him won't even bother giving me any sort of compensation, I may never see my family or friends again, but sure I'm fine." You stated, mopping vigorously. Magnum sighed and looked at your face. You looked like you were on the verge of tears. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the right words.

"I... I be sorry. I'll give ye more treasure if... If ye promise ye won't weigh anchor…" he finally managed. You stopped and turned to him slowly. His eyes widened. "No, no, no! Ye... I didn'... um…" he gulped as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uh-huh. Go on. I'm waiting." You demanded. He took a deep breath.

"I... I find ye endearin'... 'n I wants ye t' stay... wit' me... specifically." He said. Your face softened a bit, to his joy. He smiled.

"I… have people back home." You said. His smile fell. "I can't just… leave and… not tell them anything…"

"Then tell 'em! Write 'em a letter or somethin'! That would be fine!" He said desperately.

"What am I supposed to say? "Hey, guys! I eloped with a 7 foot tall pirate and am now sailing the seven seas as his first mate"?"

"...yes?" He said, unsure. You sighed and looked down. He held his breath, waiting for whatever you were going to say next.

"What am I supposed to tell his family?" You asked softly. He took a deep breath.

"I... I dunno. 'n... I be mighty, mighty sorry about wha' I did t' yer friend... But... I... I be... I reckon I be in love wit' ye…" he said shakily. You looked up at him, your eyes widened. You could see a tint of red on his suntanned cheeks. He avoided your eyes for a bit before you chuckled. He looked at you. You smiled at him warmly. He returned it.

"I…" you began, blushing. You were cut off by the sound of a cannon.

"Avast! Prepare to be boarded!" A voice boomed from above.

"Oh, God, not again," you whined. Magnum reached out to put a hand on your shoulder, but another cannonball whizzed past you two, making you fall in different directions.

"Ye hide. I'll take care o' this," he instructed. He unsheathed his sword as you hid behind a nearby barrel, watching him to see if he'd need any assistance.

"Who be thar? Show yourself, yellow-bellied cur!" He yelled. You blinked, processing what he said. "Yellow-bellied cur". Huh. That was new. You heard wood creaking behind you and ducked further behind the barrel. You slowly rose and saw a man standing in from of Magnum. He was taller than you and had an average build, and was wearing a pirate outfit. His clothes looked… cleaner and more fancy than Magnum's. He was holding a sword and had a peg leg.

"Who are ye callin' a yellow-bellied cur?" He said in a low, rough voice.

"Obviously you, shitlord!" You said, quickly covering your mouth with your hand afterwards. The man turned and looked at you. He raised an eyebrow, smirking. You suddenly felt… violated.

"Well, well, well. Wha' 'ave we here?" He chuckled. "I may jus' keep ye fer meself." You laid your hand on a revolver.

Magnum tightened his fist around the hilt of his sword and swung. The man blocked it and stumbled back.

"Ye lay a hand on them, ye're dead." He growled. The man smirked and tried to jab at his side. Magnum managed to block it in time. The two captains went on sword fighting for a couple minutes while you stayed behind the barrell. The other man's crew was on the ship fighting the rest of yours. You felt a bit useless, so you grabbed the revolver and aimed towards the other pirates. You grazed two in their legs, and nailed one in the shoulder. You lost track of Captain Magnum after a while. While you looked for him, you heard something land behind you. You yelped and spun around, seeing the invading captain.

"Ahoy thar, darlin'," he smirked at you. You held the revolver up to aim at him. He scoffed. "C'mon, darlin'. Thar's no needs fer that. I won't hurt ye… Much."

"Go fuck yourself," you snarled.

"Such naughty language fer such a sweet thin'." He laughed. "I'll 'ave fun wit' ye."

"Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound creepy at all. Great," You sighed. He took a step towards you and you cock the gun. "Don't move, asshole." You warned.

"Oh, come on now." He chuckled. "We both know ye're too soft t' shoot me. So, why don't ye-" You shoot. The bullet hits him in the side. His eyes widened as he stared at you in disbelief.

"Something about me, captain," you set the gun down and walked over to him as he fell to the floor. "My best friend is dead. I'm feeling a bit pissed. And I have shot a man before." You got on one knee and leaned down next to his ear. "I'm not as soft as I look." You stood back up and walked back to the middle of the deck.

Captain Magnum was frantically walking around. The crew looked okay, so you sighed. The captain heard and spun towards you. He smiled widely as he ran over and enveloped you in a hug.

"Oh, thank Poseidon. Ye're okay. If I had lost ye I... I... I dunno wha' I'd do!" He stammered, petting your head. "Ye're okay, right?" You smiled and hugged him back.

"I'm alright, Captain," You whispered. He sighed and held you for a while before the previous first mate cleared his throat.

"'tis real touchin' 'n all, but we should prolly repair th' ship." He suggested. Magnum turned to him, glaring.

"Ye interrupted a bondin' moment t' tell me that?" He glowered. You bit your lip to keep from laughing. The crewmate opened his mouth to respond, but almost immediately closed it and started picking up pieces of wood. The other crewmates followed suit.

"We should help them," you declared. Magnum looked at you, his eyebrows knitted together.

"But do we 'ave t'?" He asked hopefully. You smiled and pulled away from him. Despite wearing a couple layers, he could feel the absence of your warmth. He sighed and helped clean up.

--

It took a while, but you all managed to clean up the deck. You'd probably need to buy more wood to repair the boat, but you figured it'd be fine. It was dark now and everyone had retired to their quarters. Except for you. You sat on the deck, staring up at the stars. Magnum left his quarters to check on you. He got worried when he saw you weren't asleep. He walked over to you, ruining the mood a bit with how loud he was. He dropped next to you with a loud creak of the floor. You didn't look at him.

"Ahoy," he greeted.

"Hi," you responded bluntly. You both sat there for a moment while he came up with things to say.

"Are ye okay?"

"Yep."

"Okay. That be good." Silence. "Wha' are ye doin'?"

"Just… stargazing."

"Okay. Why?"

"Felt like it."

"Oh." More silence. "Are ye thinkin' about 'im?"

"Yes."

"Do ye want t' talk about 'im?"

"No. Not tonight. Maybe another time."

"Ok... 'tis a tad cold tonight."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Me cabin be th' warmest... If ye... Wanted t' sleep in thar... Wit' me... That would be alright…" You whipped you head towards him surprised. He noticed your panic. "Or not! That be fine too! I understand. Sorry fer botherin'. Goodnight!" He started to stand up, but you took his hand. He looked at your interlocked hands, flushed, then back at you.

"That would… that'd be fine." You said shakily. "I just… want to stay out here a bit longer."

"Ok," He nodded and plopped back down. You retracted your hand and tucked your knees to your chest, looking back up. He continued to look at you for a second, smiling, before looking back up. You chuckled.

"He loved space…"

--

Captain Magnum could listen to you talk for hours. You start talking about stars, then about Mark, then you get to talking about your other friends and family. He listened to everything you said because he knew it was important to you. You started to yawn after 45 minutes and you leaned on his arm. He froze in place, not wanting to bother you. Eventually, he looked down at you to see if you were asleep. Once he confirmed you were, he effortlessly lifted you up and carried you to his cabin. He gently set you on the large, warm bed. He wasn't planning on getting on it with you. You weren't there yet. You hadn't even told him you loved him back. He couldn't in good conscience get into a bed with you. He sat in his chair and looked at you. You were so…

"Gorgeous," he said under his breath. You cracked an eye open.

"Right back at you," you slurred. He blushed. You held out your arms. "Come into bed," he blushed deeper.

"No, I don't reckon I should…" He tried to say. You whined and he just couldn't. He stood up and carefully climbed into the bed with you, making sure to keep a bit of space between you two. That was pointless because you immediately turned over and snuggled into his chest. He gently moved his arms to embrace you tightly. He set a small kiss to your head and just lied there, wanting to treasure this moment.

Your eyes closed again as you heard him say "I love you". You smiled.

"I love you, too."

If I didn't say it before SEND PROMPTS

[mothgodofchaos]

Requests

Please pay attention to what letters are next to the egos! I will not write for them outside of the set categories. They’re also subject to change! I leave that to my own discretion. I may not be comfortable writing a full fic or drabble of a character, but short situational headcanons may be available. Just look for asterisks. 

Will Not Write Under Any Circumstance: comfort for x insecurity or x disability beyond generic chronic fatigue/pain. This isn’t me trying to say that you aren’t valid to want comfort for these things, here is just not the place to ask for that. Makes me hella uncomfy and hyper-aware of myself.

These are open for drabbles, fics, or headcanons! I will always default to gender neutral unless otherwise specified! 

These work for Ego x Reader, Multi!Ego/Poly x Reader, Ego x Ego, or just Ego.

H - Horror | A - Angst | R - Romantic | P - Platonic | * - Headcanons

Markiplier Egos:

Dark (HARP) #midnight mint*

Wilford (HARP) #colonel mustache*

Actor (HARP) #dramatic diva*

Host/Author (HARP) #spooky storyteller #smack bat*

Google (HARP) #titan tin can*

Bing (ARP) #bingo bongus*

Yancy (ARP) #strong songbird*

Illinois (HARP) #pantry dweller*

Murdoch (HAR) #stabbington*

Night (HAR) #glowstick god*

Noir (HARP) #mc monologue*

Engineer (HARP) #head himbo*

Damien (HARP) #meek mayor*

Date!Mark (AR) #date mate*

Heist!Mark (HARP) #heist hunk*

HeeHoo (HARP) #heehoo weewoo*

Eric Derekson (ARP) #starshine son*

Necromancer (HARP) #necrobastard*

Bim Trimmer (HP) #contestant cannibal*

Septic Egos:

Antisepticeye (HAR) #electric limeade*

Jackieboy Man (HARP) #comic escapee*

Marvin (HARP) #nyan magician*

JJ (HARP) #silent cinnamonroll*

Chase (HARP) #sad dad*

Schneeplestein (HARP) #schneeple steeple*

Robbie (HARP) #ghoulish giant*

Inserts:

District Attorney #shattered law*

Heist Partner #sneaky splitter*

Captain #wormhole jumper*

Will Not Write (But I Have Tags For):

Captain Magnum #colossal captain*

King of the Squirrels #nutty monarch*

Jim #news scuttler*

Stan the Water Man #water rad dad

Bomb Defuser!Mark (Doom Rogers) #explosive electrician

Unus & Annus #memento mori*

Dr. Iplier #medic moron*

Dave Torres (Edge of Sleep) #unwilling insomniac

Iron Lung!Mark #doomed detainee

FNAF Musical!Mark #animatronic annihilator

Pornipliers #homebrew horndogs

Resident Enis! Mark #horror huntsman

Silver Shepherd #sheepman cloak

Shawn Flynn (BaTIM) #fedora floorboards*

Marcus Brickley (Poppy Playtime) #toy tattler*

Blank #clean slate

Celine #ma’am medium

Celci #ice queen

Burt #reverse wrench

Gunther #guns and guns

Detective Abe #abernathy poptarts

YouTubers (OOC):

Mark #markus plier

Sean #coffee king

Ethan #soft skriddle

Wade #blame minion

Bob #bobbert my skerms

Danny #unicorn wizard

Arin #video game boy

Brian #get wecht

Gabs #giggly goobers

[speedypandaweasel]

SUBMISSION FORM - RULES AND INFO

HOW TO SUBMIT:

HOW I WORK:

As you can see through my work, I am not very big on dialogue and focus on the scenery and actions the character makes. That being said, I am starting to work towards building up conversations and diverting emotion through language as well.

WHAT I WRITE:

Fluff, platonic, BIG ON ANGST (gotta relate to something), Genders:

Female cause I identify as one, definitely not because I want to be included in these stories

Gender Neutrals -

I don't write from any others simply because I don't want to offend anyone unintentionally.

CHARACTERS I AM WRITING FOR:

Markiplier Egos - Actor!Mark, Damien, William (Colonel WKM), Wilford Warfstcahe, Abe, Yancy, Illinois, Captain Magnum

Sander Sides - Roman, Remus, Janus, Logan, Patton, Virgil - NO SELF SHIPS More will be added over time, but for now, these are the characters I main.

RULES

• NO NSFW - I felt very icky when receiving these posts in the past, so I've decided not to do them at all. + I was bad at them.

• NO PERSONAL REQUESTS (NO SPECIFIC PERSON SUBSTITUTE) - These stories are meant to be read by everyone so having self-inserts will make the story lose its inclusivity. This doesn't include x reader, this just means, I won't specify who the viewer/reader is.

*NO SUICIDAL THEMES - including self-harming, self-loathing/hatred ETC

*NO FORMS OF ABUSE WHATSOEVER.

Thank you for your patience & I can't wait to see them!

~ Mills

[weirdlyhornyforegos]

Guidelines/rules

Realized I should make a little rules/guidelines list, so here it is. I’ll also update this with whether requests are open or not at any current time. 

Updated: 13/10-2022

Requests are currently: CLOSED

So first and foremost: minors DO NOT INTERACT! This is 18+ blog, you’re not welcome here.

And now that’s out of the way, here’s the rest:

I write nsfw reader inserts and headcanons for almost all Markip***r egos on this blog, and Anti if he’s mixed with one those egos. (I don’t write for Captain Magnum, Ed Edgar, King of the Squirrels)

I don’t write ego x ego, but I do however write ego x reader x ego, so those are more than fine to send in.

My default is gender neutral, but you can ask for amab, afab, male, or female if you’d like that!

I have a bunch of prompts in my prompt tag here, but do not feel pressured to use any! You can give me any idea you’d like outside those prompts if you want to. Please specify which prompt list you’re choosing from if you use them.

Anything to do with watersports, scat, ageplay, non-con, pregnancy, and A/B/O are huge no-no’s. DDLG is also a no, but the use of Daddy is fine, Mommy is not. Other than that, I’m pretty open for any kink or request. I will of course reserve the right to say no to any stuff and kinks that I haven’t thought of, and might find I don’t like in the future.

Here’s my current master list with all that I’ve written, always updated as soon as I post.

That should be it!

-W💜

[orange-waterfalls]

Happy Birthday

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@speedyprofessionalpandaweasel ty for the prompt

A/N: SPEEDY, YOU ASKED FOR SAD CAPTAIN MAGNUM, I'M GIVING YOU SAD CAPTAIN MAGNUM. I've been feeling reeeaaal angsty recently, so y'all get this. I wrote it in half an hour lol. Pretty short, not much to say. No picture cause I forgot. Uh sad. Warning: death? That's it. No cursing, no comedy, just... Grieving, I suppose. Damn, I made myself sad... Oh well. Enjoy.

Word count: 1.0k

Requests are open!

--

Captain Magnum stared out into the sea and clutched the side of the ship. They would land in California fairly soon. And then he’d visit you. It was your birthday, after all.

He did this every year. He took a break from pirating to come and visit this one day. Your friends weren’t exactly thrilled whenever they saw him, but they knew you loved him. So, they let him be. One of them even gave him a little anchor keychain. He greatly appreciated it.

His mouth was a tight frown that you wouldn’t see if you didn’t look. The beard hid it pretty well. His hat cast a shadow onto his face, making him look much angrier than he was.

He wasn’t angry. Not anymore. Not ever at you. Not ever again.

He startled when a hand touched his arm. He snapped his head to the side and saw his first mate.

“Captain?” He asked softly, “Are ye alright?”

Magnum sighed and set a gentle hand on the smaller man’s shoulder. “I’m alright, lad.”

First Mate nodded and walked away again. The crew was always quiet around this time. They knew he wasn’t upset at you, but they didn’t want to risk being yelled at by him. They didn’t think he’d ever, but a lot of things change.

Magnum let go of the ship’s side and walked to his quarters. All of the crew avoided eye contact but gave nods of acknowledgment. He nodded back and entered his room, closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms and exhaled through his nose.

It was always quiet around the ship this time of year. No dancing, no singing, no yelling. Not even much talking, and that’s saying a lot. It made him slightly uncomfortable.

He scanned his room, looking for the present he bought for you. They’d stopped at a small port with an ocean-based gift shop. He’d bought a keychain shaped like a ship and a small stuffed dolphin. He knew you wouldn’t want much else.

You weren’t one to ask for much on your birthday. Not from him at least. You always told him a keychain or gift card would be fine. He knew you were lying, but listened anyway so you wouldn’t feel guilty.

He bought you a computer once. You refused to accept it and gave it back to him. He could see the pain in your eyes as you handed him the box. He chuckled at the memory.

He walked over to his bed and picked up the small birthday bag that was sitting next to a bouquet of flowers. He made sure the dolphin and keychain were still in there and didn’t fall out or something. He turned to the flowers.

He felt bad because he didn’t know what your favorite color was. He’d told the flower vendor he was getting them for you, and the man asked your favorite color. Magnum nearly cried when he realized he didn’t know. He asked your friends and they told him, so he got those color flowers.

He sighed and gently stroked a petal of one of the flowers.

Soft… He thought, just like them…

He smiled as he thought of you. He loved you so very much. Everything about you just made him so… happy. Your eyes, your skin, your voice…

To him, you were perfect.

His smile fell as he continued thinking of you. How he yelled when you told him you wanted to stay with your friends. How he told you he didn’t care about you. How you looked so upset…

He’d apologized, of course, and you forgave him, but he could never forget the look on your face.

He turned to the door as it opened. His First Mate was standing there, timidly.

“Land ho, Captain,” He stated. Magnum smiled and stood up, walking towards the door. He took a breath and mentally prepared himself to see you.

--

The meeting with your friends and family had gone better than he thought it would. Every year, he expects them to just hate him for whatever reason. But they never do. They welcome him into their home, they let him eat with them, they ask him how things have been…

He doesn’t deserve it.

They all sit in the living room and share stories for hours. Magnum enjoys it a lot. He’s still surprised that he gets along so well with them, the crew as well. He sips his lemonade and listens to two of your friends argue over which actor in a movie was hotter. He sat his lemonade down and cleared his throat, and everyone turned to listen to him.

“So… can I go and… visit?” He asked. They smiled at him.

“Of course!” One girl said, “We went earlier today, so you can have some… alone time.”

Magnum smiled at her and nodded, standing up. A man offered to drive him, so he waved goodbye to everyone else. He didn’t fit in the man’s car, so he borrowed someone’s truck. Magnum sat in the back while the man drove. The wind was whipping at his face, but he really couldn’t complain. At least he didn’t have to walk.

The truck stopped and the man got out. He hit the side of the truck twice to let Magnum know he could get out. He opened the door and slid onto the ground, clutching the bag and flowers. The man laid a hand on his arm.

“I’ll be waiting here until you’re done,” he said. Magnum smiled walked away. He opened the gate and walked in.

He walked over to you and sighed, sitting on the ground. He took the keychain and dolphin and laid them on one side, and laid the flowers on the other. He sat there, just looking for a moment. The tears began burning his eyes and it took almost all of his willpower not to break down sobbing. He sucked in a breath and put a hand on the headstone.

“Hey, Y/N,” He said, his voice wavering. He smiled and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Happy birthday.”

[orange-waterfalls]

Fragile

@madameboxhead ty for the request

A/N: have an animated Captain Magnum as the picture. Uh... I finished this at 10pm... It may be a bit worse than usual. I tried to finish it quickly. I had fun w/this. Rated T for blood and injury and cursing and some suggestive stuff at the end... Only like one line, so... Eh. I don't think this counts as fluff or angst... So... Captain Magnum being a protective boi. It's short. Have fun.

Word Count: 1.4k

--

Captain Magnum likes protecting you. In his eyes, you're his precious piece of porcelain that will shatter if you drop it. His priceless jewel that will fall at the slightest movement. To him, you're fragile.

Even if you've told him hundreds of times that you can take care of yourself, he still feels the overwhelming need to defend you. He keeps you by his side every second of the day, he refuses to let you near anything that can be used as a weapon, and he carries you everywhere for fear that you'll trip. Sometimes it's nice to feel loved and defended. Other times, it's really annoying.

You love Magnum, you really do. You also love being able to walk around without the enormous man breathing down your neck. It's nice to be appreciated, but nobody needs this much affection. You want to learn to use a gun to protect yourself, but Magnum won't even let you do near a sharp pencil, much less a gun. You picked up a gun one singular time and he went into a panic. You learned to never even mention weapons around him.

But you learned.

You learned how to slip out of his grip at night to leave the bed. You learned where to step on the floor as to not make a creak. You learned where which room releases the least amount of sound so you can practice your sword fighting and shooting skills. You learned how to shoot by watching Magnum. You learned how to use a sword from some other crewmates. After a few months of practice, you were very good. You knew you couldn't just tell Magnum "Hey! I've been sneaking out at night to practice using dangerous weapons in a quiet room so you couldn't hear me! Wanna see what I learned?" No. That was ridiculous. You just need a chance to show him you can defend yourself… you need to get in trouble. Now, you're smart enough to not go looking for trouble. However, if it came, you would not be one to run from it. So when you see some pirates approaching in a ship nearby, you made no effort to tell Magnum. You just stood, watching for a bit. Once they were more or less a mile away, you decided to tell the captain.

"Uh… Magnum?" You call as innocently as you can. He walks over to you.

"Wha's th' matter, me darlin'?" He asks with a smile. That smile is soon wiped off of his face as he sees the approaching ship. He turns towards the crew. "Man yer battle stations!" He bellows. The crew all go different directions as Magnum leads you below the deck.

"Hey, maybe I could help you guys this time?" You suggest. Magnum smiles softly at you.

"Sweetheart, ye know how I feel about ye bein' around weapons…"

"Yes, I know, but I feel like I can-!"

"Dearest, I don't wants ye gettin' hurt. Jus' stay here 'til I come get ye." You sigh.

"Alright… I love you…" you give him a gentle peck on his cheek scar.

"I love ye too…" he strokes your cheek a moment before going back above deck. You heard his sword brandishing and clashing against others.

Meanwhile, you sat. You sat and waited for an opportunity to come. You didn't want to go above deck and make him angry, though he had never raised his voice at you. You didn't like seeing him upset. So, you'd just wait and see if something would happen. If it didn't, too bad. If it did, hell yeah. So, you waited.

And waited.

And got really bored.

You could still hear the fighting going on upstairs, but it didn't seem to be coming to an end. How long could it take, honestly? You sigh, and suddenly see a sword pierce the wood above your spot on the floor. You help in surprise.

"Ahoy! I heard somethin' down here!" You heard a male voice you didn't know say.

"Well, then go see wha' 'tis ye idiots!" Another, rougher, voice you didn't recognize says. You, suddenly going into flight-mode, hide behind a chest, covering your mouth. Two people walk down under the deck. You heard them walk around slowly, looking for you.

"Oi! Anyone down here?" The original voice you heard calls. "We won't hurt ye…"

"We might kill ye, though!" A female voice laughs. The first one joined in soon after. After about five minutes of them searching, your fear is replaced with annoyance. God, these people were morons. You decide to take matters into your own hands and stand up from your hiding spot, brandishing a gun you took with you. You cock the gun and whistle to get their attention. The pirates spin towards you, holding out their swords. Upon seeing the gun in your hand, they panic and drop them.

"Jeez, some lousy pirates you are," you say smugly. They frown, but put their hands up. You see the female start to reach behind her head, so you shoot her in the thigh. She yells out and falls to the floor. You roll your eyes. "My previous statement stands." You begin walking towards the pirates, but a gunshot through the wood above makes you jump and drop your gun. The unhurt pirate takes the opportunity to grab his sword and run at you. You stumble back and trip over the chest. He swings down at you, and you roll out of the way. You grab the other pirate's sword and hold it out.

"Oh, ye'll be quick t' beat," he says smugly.

"I doubt that, you stupid fuck," you snarl back. He frowns and, with a battle cry, runs at you.

Magnum is really worried about you. He's been fighting the multitude of pirates for a while now, and he wanted to check up and see that you were ok. He figured you'd be fine, but you never know.

Wait… was that a gunshot? And a scream from below deck? No… couldn't be… just in case…

He walks over to the stairs leading below deck, but he's blocked by three pirates all trying to fight him at once. He growls. Who did these bastards think they were, keeping him from his darling?

He continues fighting until all the pirates are either dead or tied up. He goes around to each member to make sure they're alright. They were wounded a bit, but mostly fine. Suddenly, a scream came from below deck. Magnum's heart started racing in fear and he ran over to the stairs. He took out his gun and went down the stairs.

"Y/N! Are you…" he doesn't finish his sentence because of what he sees in front of him.

There you are, standing over the bodies of two pirates. One has a bullet wound, and the other has a sword in his shoulder/chest. Dead or alive, he doesn't know or care. You have blood all over you, and all you do is wipe some of it from your lip onto the back of your hand. You look over at him and smile.

"Hey there, Magnum," you say sweetly. He blinks at you for a moment before running over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders.

"Are ye okay, beauty?" He asks in a worried tone, "Yer covered in blood!"

"Oh, it's not mine," you say. He stares at you.

"That's… better…" he looks at the floor. "Did ye do this all yourself?"

"Yeah! I did! I'm not fragile, Captain," you say. He sighs.

"Okay… um… I feel like ye're tryin' t' teach me somethin'..." You smile.

"I can take care of myself. I know you want to protect me, but I don't need you to be around me all the time."

"Ah… I see…"

"I do love you still, you're just… clingy, darling… do you understand?"

"Yes… I think I do…" he moves a hand from your shoulder to your cheek. You mimic the action, and he leans into your touch. You lean up and kiss him gently. He kisses back, pulling you against his body. You stay like that for half a minute before you pull back for breath.

"Y'know... When ye were standin' thar at first... I thought... 'twas kinda…"

"Hot?" You finish. His face flushes.

"Well…"

"Then, you better cherish this cause you probably won't see it again anytime soon…"

"Oh, I will..."

--

I'm so tired lol I need sleep

[orange-waterfalls]

Favorite Things

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@rattyships ty for the request!

A/N: YES the title is a quote, YES it's from That One Song™, YES I based this fic off of that idea, leave me alone. Uh... Christmas. Yeah. Captain Magnum seems way too calm in this fic for my own liking, but y'know. Reader can paint even though I am physically unable to, so. There's that. Fluffy. Rated PG because there's one two "hell"s and one "damn" and that's it. It's cheesy and that's why it's great.

Word Count: 2.0k

--

You paced around your cabin, very anxious. Christmas was in three days! What were you supposed to get everyone? You didn't know what anyone liked! Or that they even celebrated…

Well, who says no to a gift, right?

You went over to your secret chest (nobody on that damn ship knew how to share) and opened it up to see how much treasure you had. Not much, but it was there. You could buy a lot in normal markets with these. Maybe you could convince the Captain to take you back home for the holidays?

Well, you never know until you try, right?

But what would you buy? They have quite enough gold and jewels, none of them seem to have any interest in anything, you doubted they'd like something homemade…

This was gonna be difficult.

You sighed and closed your chest, walking over to your door. You opened it to find said Captain standing there, the rest of the crew behind him.

"Hi, Captain," you blinked in surprise. You probably should have been more confused than you were, but this boat was already super weird. He was smiling at you.

"Mornin', first mate!" He greeted. "We found a treasure map on a ship we were lootin'. We're about t' start searchin' fer treasure!"

"Oh. Alright. Gimme a minute," you smiled and closed the door. You sighed and rested your back on the door. Maybe you could find something on the island to give them…?

"Yeah, they'll love a nice flower crown…" You snorted at your own idea. You sighed and grabbed up your stuff, opening your door and walking over to the crew. They were all talking about how they couldn't wait to find more treasure. You rolled your eyes. Don't they have enough of it? You took a head count of how many of them there were. Five… five crewmates, five presents. Captain Magnum noticed you and smiled.

"Thar ye be! I thought ye would lock yourself in yer cabin th' whole day!" He, along with the rest of the crew, laughed. You smiled saltily. "Wha' were ye doin' in thar?" You looked around, trying to come up with something.

"Um… I was… I was…" you looked out onto the horizon for a moment, your eyes softening. The crew looked at you.

"Y/N?" One of them called to you. "Are ye-"

"Painting," you interrupted.

"What?" Magnum asked.

"I was… painting…" you looked back to them. They all stared at you for a minute.

"You… you paint?" One woman asked. You smiled and nodded at her. All of the crewmates looked at each other for a minute.

"Uh… wha' d' ye paint?" The other woman asked. You shrugged.

"Whatever, really. Animals, landscapes, whatever's in my room…" you looked over at Captain Magnum to make sure this was okay. He sighed and plopped himself down on a stair. You smiled and turned back to the group.

--

You explained painting to the crew for 15 minutes. You had no idea they'd be so interested in your hobby. They asked so many questions, some of which you'd somehow never heard. How long had these people been at sea?

Eventually, you looked over to see Captain Magnum looking impatiently at the island the ship landed at 10 minutes ago. You chuckled at him and stood up.

"Captain's getting a bit annoyed, guys. Let's go," the crew complained, but got off of the ship as you walked over to the Captain. He raised an eyebrow at you and you mimicked the action.

"They find ye mighty interestin'," he commented. You smiled.

"Yeah. Not more than you though. I doubt anything could be more interesting than those logs you have for legs." You both looked at each other for a moment before laughing. He stood and you both followed the crew off of the ship.

He lead the way to where the treasure was, the rest of you trailing close behind. One of the crewmates, a boy who looked no older than twenty-one, took your arm. You raised both eyebrows and looked at him.

"So… wha' were ye sayin' about watercolors?" He asked softly. You smiled as the other crew members gathered around you again. You looked up at Captain Magnum, who was smiling at you all. He chuckled and turned back around, continuing to lead the way. You sighed.

"Alright… so watercolor is probably one of the most well-known types of paint…"

--

You had found treasure on the island, and most of the crewmates became interested in that, but the boy who has asked you about watercolors stayed as you explained how people originally made paints from flowers. You saw the curious look in his eyes, and decided what you were gonna get everyone for Christmas.

You were gonna paint for them.

What, you weren't sure. But you sure as hell were gonna paint. Maybe… their favorite animals? Or maybe an object they really liked…

You decided to ask them what they liked.

The woman with the bandana really liked sea creatures. Specifically, narwhals. They were very pretty and could also impale people. She liked that about them. You didn't think she noticed you scribbling everything she said into a small notebook.

The woman with the eyepatch really liked swords. She knew a lot about them; names, origins, uses… it was slightly unnerving, but you couldn't judge.

The boy liked plants. He liked the fact that they were living beings, just like people and animals. Only, they were smaller and couldn't talk. They could, however, feel. And he liked that. You couldn't get over how soft he was…

The man who was first mate before you liked… hats. He liked that they all basically had the same function, but looked so different. You could respect that. Hats were very cool.

The next day, you decided to paint them pictures of their favorite things in their respective color schemes, and added a different color for each background. A blue and white narwhal with a green background, a red and black sword with a navy blue background, a black and orange flower with a dark green background, and a brown and maroon hat with a pastel red background (no, not pink. There's a difference). You spent an entire day painting the pictures. They turned out very well, in your opinion. You just hoped the crew felt the same.

After you were finished with those, you asked Captain Magnum what his favorite thing was. He thought for a moment, stroking his beard.

"Well… I suppose it'd be treasure!" He answered. You knitted your eyebrows together.

"Really? Treasure?" You asked, hoping for something more.

"O' course, treasure! I be a pirate aft all! Wha' would I like if it nah be treasure?" You sighed in slight disappointment. You thought that you would find something new about him but, nope. He loves treasure the most. You nodded and turned around.

"Well, that or ye." You stopped dead in your tracks. Did you hear that right? You slowly turned back towards him. He looked away from you, towards the horizon. The setting sun illuminated his face, tinting it orange, pink, and yellow. He looked like he was ripped right from a movie...

"What was that?" You asked, slightly distracted by how beautiful he looked.

"Treasure be a pirate's fav'rit thin' o' course. But, since ye showed up... I reckon me fav'rit "thin'" be me first mate. Ye." He said nonchalantly. A small smile creeped onto your face. Magnum looked at you, since you hadn't said anything in a while.

"So, you're saying… you love me?" You asked, fishing for compliments. Magnum flushed a bit. It was mostly hidden due to the sun, but you could still see.

"Well… er…" He scratched the back on his head, thinking of how to respond.

"Cause that's what I'm hearing here…"

"Um…"

"Exactly how much do you love me, Captain?" You smirked, leaning on the side of the ship, your cheek in your palm. Magnum finally took a deep breath and looked in your eyes.

"More than all th' treasure in all th' seven seas…" he stated. Your eyes widened as your smirk fell. You felt your face heat up and you turned away from him.

"Well, uh…" you coughed, "I should… get to bed… wanna be up early tomorrow, so…" you shuffled away.

"First Mate Y/N!" He called. You turned back towards him.

"Merry Christmas." He said. You smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Captain."

--

You walked into the deck, the crew already gathered. You figured Magnum must've gotten them. You took a deep breath and walked over, the paintings in your arms. The crew all waved and greeted you. You smiled and stood in front of them.

"So, uh… it's Christmas as you may or may not know…" you explained nervously. "So, um… I decided that, as gifts, I was going to paint for you all… and these were the results." You move forward and pass out all the works you painted. All of the crew seemed happy with their pictures. They showed them to each other and gawked over the detail and bragged about how good they looked. You finally walked up to Magnum, who was steering. You held out a painting to him.

"Wha', fer me?" He raised his eyebrows and took the picture. It was of a red, blue, yellow, and black ship with a sunset in the background and sparkling green and blue waves. The words "a pirate's life for me" were written on the back. He laughed heartily and pulled you into a hug.

"Oh, ye really outdid yourself, mate! 'tis wonderful!" He complimented. You managed to pull yourself out of the hug after a minute or two and handed him an envelope. He looked over at the rest of the crew and, upon seeing that no one else had one, tilted his head a bit.

"It's from her," You explained, pointing. Magnum nodded and looked over at the woman who was showing off her narwhal. She glanced at the Captain and winked as the boy with the flower painting giggled. Magnum plopped down onto a step, but you stayed standing. He opened the envelope to reveal a card. On the inside, it said "This thing you two have is special, more special than anything I could try to get. I can, however, make you realize exactly what you have". You frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked. Magnum shrugged and gave you the envelope. You looked inside, seeing something green. You took it out and your eyes widened.

Mistletoe.

Mistletoe?

Where the hell did they find mistletoe?!

You looked at Captain Magnum, who was staring at you. He raised both eyebrows at the plant in your hand. You were holding it between you two accidentally (on purpose).

"We don't 'ave t' if ye don't wants t'..." He told you. You took a deep breath, telling yourself to stop being so weird about it because you knew he loved you back. Besides, the crew had all left to put their gifts in their rooms. You leaned down, since he was sitting, and softly connected your lips. He sat there for a moment, eyes wide, before closing them. You both stayed like that for a few seconds before you pulled away all too soon. His eyes looked hazy as you smiled.

"Merry Christmas." You whispered and walked to your room, leaving Magnum to process what happened.

You entered your room and leaned your back on the door, smiling widely.

"Well, that was the best Christmas present ever…" you mumbled to yourself. You started to giggle as you continued to think about it. You put your hands on your face in embarrassment. It was only a couple seconds, why were you being so weird? You jumped a bit when you heard a gentle knock at your door. You turned around and tilted your head. Who could that be? It was getting late and the crew had already shown their appreciation…

Unless…

You opened the door to reveal, you guessed it, Captain Magnum. He was holding the mistletoe you had left on the deck. You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He smiled.

"Do ye... Uh... Wanna do that again?" He asked sheepishly. You laughed a bit before smiling up at him.

"Absolutely."

[orange-waterfalls]

Protect Me

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@obessionfanboy ty for the... request? Request! Ty for the request.

A/N: Me: *uses the exact same picture for two fics*. lol. It seemed to fit here as well and I was too lazy to go back and change the other one... uh this one's angsty, dude. Mostly angst. I had to add fluff at the end I'm SORRY. I had such a good time writing this, dude, I just... AHH. ok. ok I'm good. Rated T for torture, blood and gore(?).

Word Count: 3.2k

--

Captain Magnum glared angrily towards the horizon as he clutched the wheel tightly. He'd never had a problem with other pirates before. But he never had anything to lose before. And then you came along.

You were his soft spot. His weakness. He knew people would take advantage of that, but he didn't think much of it.

And then they took you.

It all happened so fast. You were sitting next to him, singing a shanty he taught you while the others danced. He couldn't help but stare at your face. Your wonderful face… He found it hard to believe that you were his. Not like you belonged to him. You were your own person. But… you were his! It was too good to be true…

That part was right.

There was a sudden explosion from the left. You would've gone flying if Magnum hadn't caught you. He could barely see through the smoke, but he could make out a ship next to theirs. He led you to his cabin and put you inside.

"Stay here 'til I tell ye 'tis safe," he instructed softly. You grabbed his hand when he tried to walk away from you.

"What? No, I'm helping,"

"No, ye're not. Stay here."

"I'm useful!"

"I know ye be!"

"Then let me-"

"Y/N!" He grabbed your shoulders and looked you in the eyes. You stopped at his sudden authority. "I wants t' keep ye safe… please… I don't want t' lose ye." your eyes softened and you sighed.

"Ok. I'll stay here," you smiled. He kissed your forehead and closed the door. You figured, at least, you could hide a bit better. You found a large barrel in the back of the room. You thought that'd be as good a place as any.

Captain Magnum fought off opposing pirates on the deck with the rest of the crew. His size helped an awful lot. He was much larger and stronger than the other pirates. He batted them away like flies. His ex-first-mate ran up next to him.

"Captain, where be Y/N?" He asked over the gunshots and cannonfire. He had been salty over the fact that you'd been made first mate, but you soon got along. He started thinking of you as a little sibling, so he wanted you to be safe just as much as the captain did.

"Safe in me cabin, don't worry," Magnum answered. The ex…(look, imma just call him… John. His name is John now) John looked over at Magnum's cabin to make sure you were actually safe.

"Uh… Captain?" He called for his attention. Magnum looked at him. He was pointing towards the open door of his quarters.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," he mumbled under his breath as he ran over to the open door. He threw the stuff to and fro, not caring what he broke, trying to find you.

"Oh, God," John whispered. Magnum whipped around to him, finding him staring to the side. He ran over to see what he was looking at. There you were.

Tied up.

In the arms of the enemy.

Magnum couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He'd lost you. He'd failed you. He wanted to keep you safe… that's all he wanted to do.

"Um... I found... I found this attached t' th' wall..." John said and handed a letter to the Captain. He gently took it.

"If you want them back, you'll follow these directions…"

--

You sat staring blankly at the ocean while the pirates drank and cheered all around you. You were tied to the mast in the center of the ship, unable to move your arms. You were sitting. The captain of the ship walked over to you.

"Oh, come on, now. Lighten up!" he shouted. "We be good scallywags... Right fellas?!" the entire crewed bellowed out a "yeah" that shook you to your core.

"What you are is a bunch of squiffy miscreants who need to let me the fuck go," You snarled. You had picked up a bit of pirate slang while on the ship. You learned that "squiffy" meant "stupid" and "miscreant" meant "villain".

"Oh, I see we 'ave a brave one here," the captain chuckled darkly. You turned your head away from him, but he grabbed your chin and turned you back towards him. "I don't reckon ye understand... I be-" his villainous monologue was cut off by you biting his thumb. He yelled out and stumbled back.

"Fuck you, dickhead!" You shouted.

"Ow, wha' in Davy Jones' locker! Are ye feral or somethin'?" He hissed as he cradled his bleeding hand. You bared your teeth and growled like a wild animal. The crew all stepped back. He looked at them, then turned to you. "I don't take disrespect lightly. I bet we can fix that courage o' yers…" he snapped and two men untied you from the pole. You kicked them and ran towards the plank at the side of the ship. You turned towards them as they stepped towards you.

"Don't move! I'll jump! I will!" You warned. The captain held out his hand for the crew to stop walking.

"Listen, kid, we be plannin' on holdin' ye fer ransom against Captain Magnum. If he gets here 'n ye're dead? Well, then, we be jus' gonna kill 'im 'n his crew, 'n take thar loot fer ourselves. Ye wouldna like that, now would ye?" He asked. You frowned and looked at the water below before sighing and walking back onto the deck. "Yeah, that's wha' I thought." You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you sick. A particularly large man with an eyepatch led you under the deck. He closed the hatch and pulled out a knife. Your eyes widened as you stumbled back and fell onto the floor. You started to hyperventilate and tried to move away from him. He sighed.

"This will hurt less if ye jus' sit thar 'n take it."

--

The crew finally arrived where they were told to go. Captain Magnum instructed two crewmates to bring a chest full of treasure. John ran up to him.

"But, Captain, can't we try 'n-" he began.

"Would ye rather 'ave treasure or 'ave Y/N back?" He responded bluntly. John opened his mouth, but sighed when he realized he had nothing to argue.

They walked into an abandoned building and entered a room that looked like it used to be a ballroom. The opposing captain sat in a velvet chair at the top of some stairs.

"Well, well, well! Look who finally decided t' show up! One eyed Jack was gettin' tired…" he mocked. Magnum clenched his fists at the implication that something happened to you.

"I brought yer treasure. Give me back me first mate," he glowered.

"Oh, come on now. Why so serious? Can nah we chat first? How was yer day?" The captain laughed. Magnum's crew all took out guns and pointed them at the opposing crew. The captain rolled his eyes.

"Alright, fine, take yer mate. They was so borin'. They barely even screamed durin' th' torture…"

Magnum could feel his face heat up in anger. His body went cold as he saw a large man drop your limp body in front of him. He breathed shakily as he saw the blood all over you. He could see tears stream down your face. Your breathing was shallow and your eyes were closed. Jack and another crewmate lifted you up and carried you back to the ship. Magnum refused to look up from the floor.

"Now, hand o'er th' chest, Magnum," the captain said in a sing-song voice. Two crewmates started sliding the chest over to the opposite crew, but Magnum blocked them with his log-leg.

"Fight me fer it." Magnum demanded.

"Pardon?"

"If ye're such a good pirate, then fight me fer th' chest."

"Wha'? No! That wasn't th' deal!"

"I guess if ye're too scared…" The pirate clenched his fists for a moment before smirking.

"Alright, then, Captain, ye've got yourself a deal." Both men stood in the center of the room. "Good ole-fashioned duel?" Magnum nodded and took out his pistol. The other captain did the same. One eyed Jack stood back a bit, and leaned over to Captain Magnum, covering his mouth with his hand and whispering something in his ear. The other captain didn't think much of it. His first mate would never do anything to harm him.

One-eyed Jack counted to ten paces, but the opposing captain turned before he finished. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, thinking he'd caught Magnum off-guard. His grin fell when he saw Magnum already pointing his pistol. Both men fired, but in his panic, the other captain missed. Magnum did not. The captain fell, screaming and holding his shoulder. Magnum looked down at him for a moment before putting his pistol away and lifting the chest, taking it back to the ship. His crew followed. The other captain sat on the floor, breathing heavily as blood gushed out of the wound. One-eyed Jack leaned down to him.

"Wha' in Davy Jones' locker did ye say t' 'im?!" The captain yelled. One-eyed Jack took the Captain's hat and put it on his own head.

"That ye always turn at 9, cap'n," he monotoned. The captain stared at him in disbelief as the larger man patted his good shoulder and left him there to bleed.

--

Captain Magnum stared at you from across his cabin as John patched you up. You stared blankly into space, and it was making him nervous. You hadn't said a single word since you got back. You'd barely even moved. He'd tried to get you to eat something but you just sat, staring. He was worried.

Jack finished with the last bandage and patted your arm.

"Feel better soon, kid," he whispered. You made no response. He sighed and nodded to the captain as he left. Magnum slowly walked over to you and sat in the chair by the bed.

"A-Ahoy, beauty... How... How are ye doin'?" He stuttered. You didn't respond. "How much... Does it hurt?" Still nothing. "Are ye okay?" You made absolutely no effort to make any sort of sign to let him know anything. He felt his stomach tighten when he realized you were probably in shock or… traumatized or… something. He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He needed to be strong. For you.

"Ye... ye needs t' eat. Ye... prolly lost a lot o' blood. Ye needs t' eat." he said desperately. He sat a plate down in front of you. Nothing. "I'll... Be here if ye wants t' talk. I won't weigh anchor. I promise I won't." He moved to the other side of the room again, wanting to give you space.

You didn't move for the rest of the day. It had gotten dark, and two meals had passed. You hadn't moved an inch. You just sat staring into space. He tried to initiate conversation a few times, but stopped when he finally figured out you weren't going to respond anytime soon. When night came around, he figured he'd get into bed with you. You did close your eyes as he laid you down and held you close to his chest.

"I love ye," he whispered against your head. You didn't respond.

--

You made no effort to get up in the morning. Magnum had to sit you up against the wall himself. He brought you breakfast and tried to coerce you into eating again. When that didn't work, he tried to feed you. He held a piece of food up against your mouth. You did nothing, even when he practically begged you to eat something. You did, however, let the water slide down your throat when he tilted your head back and poured. He figured that was good, so he left you alone. Not once did he leave the room when you were going through this. He stated by your side the whole time and left Jack in charge of the ship. He talked to you, knowing you wouldn't answer. He didn't even know if you could hear him. It didn't look like you could.

Every morning he sat you up, trying to ask how you were, eventually leaving you alone.

Every meal, he tried to feed you and eventually gave up, giving you water.

Every other hour he tried to make conversation, eventually realizing it wasn't working.

Every night he laid you down and held you close, saying I love you, eventually realizing you weren't going to say it back.

This went on for… days? Weeks? He'd lost track at this point. He barely slept at night because he wanted to make sure you wouldn't have nightmares. You had one or two, but mostly, you were fine. He didn't eat until you drank water, and he spent hours trying to feed you. He felt like his sanity was slipping every day you weren't alright.

One night, while he was holding you close as always, he said something different.

"I won't always be able t' protect ye, I know I won't. But I needs ye t' trust that I'll try me best," he paused, hoping you would respond. You didn't. He sighed. "I love ye…" he thought he felt you clutch onto his shirt as he was falling asleep. Nah. Couldn't be. He thought.

--

He sat you up against the wall in the morning, as always. A crewmate brought food and sat in on the bed. He sighed as he watched you for a minute. Your eyes looked… better. Less dull. He shook his head, brushing it off as his imagination. He picked up the food and held it up to your mouth.

"Please, darlin', please. Jus'... Eat?" He begged. You didn't move. He looked down, feeling the tears. No. Not now. Be strong. He told himself. He took a deep breath and looked back up at you. You were sitting there, same position, with your mouth slightly open.

Wait…

Your mouth… was open! Only a bit, but it was open. Magnum felt his hand start to shake in excitement and joy, but he kept it down. He swallowed, deciding to push his luck.

"Well, ye can nah put grub in that wee space. Come on, open up!" he pushed. One side of your mouth upturned a bit, but fell back to its original position as you opened your mouth wider. Magnum smiled and breathed shakily as you chewed the food and swallowed.

You are the entire plate, and he gave you water like always. He sat on his knees, laying his head on his arms, watching you for any other movement. You glanced at him occasionally and that was like all the treasure in the world to him. He sat back in his chair and started talking again. You seemed to be listening, or at least paying attention to him, so he kept talking he made a joke at one point and you exhaled through your nose, grinning slightly. It was the most beautiful thing to him in that moment.

You would open your mouth to let him feed you for the next couple days, and you'd make small responses to things he'd tell you. You'd tilt your head slightly, raise your eyebrows a bit, he even got the occasional eye roll. He would watch you the whole time he talked just to see these little actions. They were what kept him going.

A few weeks after you'd started this, he'd stayed up all night trying to see you do something. He'd already fed you breakfast, and it'd be time for lunch soon. He sat at the other side of the cabin, looking at you. You sat straighter in the bed. You actively looked around instead of just staring at one place, and your fingers occasionally twitched when you saw something you found interesting. He tried to stay awake to feed you lunch, but he just couldn't. He fell asleep in the chair.

--

He woke up feeling groggy, the way you do after a nap. His neck was sore and his back was stiff. His vision was blurry, and he groaned as he adjusted to the lighting of midday. His first thought was to look over and see what you were doing. You were just sitting there, eating…

You were eating?! You were eating!

You were picking up the food and putting it into your mouth, drinking too!

Magnum almost shot up from his chair as he realized this, making both the chair and the floor creak in protest. You looked over at him, eyes wide. In your eyes was confusion with a slight hint of fear. Magnum sat back down, hands clutching the armrests. You turned back to your food and continued eating, glancing at him in concern. He just sat there and watched you, wide eyed, a goofy smile on his face. When you finished your food and water, he sped over to the bed and plopped in the chair. You leaned back a bit, and you both sat there staring at each other for a solid minute. He cleared his throat.

"Ahoy, beauty!" He said in a raised voice. You winced, so he quieted down. "How are ye doin'?" He asked. You gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. Magnum felt his heart speed up and his breathing quicken.

"How much does it hurt?" You held your hand with your palm facing the ground, shaking it a bit. He nodded.

"Are ye okay?" You smiled again and nodded slightly. Magnum felt the tears again and let them fall. Your smile dropped as you set a gentle hand on his shoulder, shaking it slightly.

"I be okay, I be alright. 'tis alright. I be jus'... So, so happy ye're okay…" he reassured. You smiled and laid your head on his shoulder as he started talking. You participated a bit more during his storytelling, letting out little gasps and laughs and "oh"s and "eee"s and… it was a bit overwhelming for him. He hadn't heard this much out of you in months. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it…

You ate your other meals on your own as he just watched you. You blushed and turned away from him a few times, which made him laugh.

A few days later, he'd decided that it'd be a good time to take you out onto the deck. The crew stopped what they were doing and looked at you in concern and surprise. Jack was in the middle of a story, and Magnum told him to continue. He kept watching you for any sign of anything bad, but smiled when you let out a snicker. The crew understood that you probably wouldn't want to talk about your… experience and left you alone about it. You still hadn't really talked, but they were happy with what you had done.

That night, Magnum got into bed with you, same as always. This time you turned and snuggled up into him yourself. He smiled at the affection he missed oh so much. He sighed and kissed your head, whispering the same thing he always did. This time, you responded.

"I love you more…" you whispered in a scratchy voice. He decided to push.

"More than wha'?" He asked. You don't answer for a moment and he worried.

"More than all the treasure and adventure in all the seven seas…" you finally stated. He smiled and pulled you close, holding you tight and never wanting to let go...

[orange-waterfalls]

It's Not A Joke

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@sierracolorstheworldofwords ty for the request!

A/N: The ending was a bit rushed because I wanted to get it done before I went to sleep and it is almost midnight,,, so,,, uh Rated T for swearing. Magnum being an oblivious FUCK and reader getting tired of his bullshit. Fluff. Slight angst at some points. This one's a bit short, sorry. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.9k

--

You stare at Captain Magnum and sigh. He was so wonderful… he was fun, handsome, not to mention tall…

It's really no surprise you have a crush on him.

Every single person on the crew knows of your little crush, and you know that they know. It was obvious! You'd always stutter around him, you blushed whenever he complimented you, and you did everything he asked of you immediately and without question. Everyone knows.

Except, of course, the captain himself.

Everyone was surprised he didn't know, including you. You thought you were being pretty open about it. Granted, you hadn't actually told him yet, but he probably should've figured it out by now. For a pirate captain, he was pretty dumb.

"Really? Again?" Magnum's previous first mate asks. You'd started talking to him after you were made first mate, and you two got along. You both could complain about the captain to each other. You also learned his name was First Mate John. Well… just John now. You'd have to help him come up with a pirate name soon. You were a pretty shy person, but you were less so around John. You felt like you could be comfortable around him.

"Yes, again. What else am I supposed to do?" You scoff.

"I dunno... tell 'im?"

"If he hasn't figured it out by now, I'm not sure I want to," you both laugh.

"Fair enough," he smirks, 'but are ye at least gonna drop some hints or somethin'?" You slowly turn your head towards him.

"What do you think I've been doing the last 3 months?" You joke. He snorts and pats your shoulder.

"Best o' luck t' ye, kid," he chuckles. You give him a small wave goodbye and go back to looking at Magnum. He stands up from his spot on the stair leading to the wheel and starts walking over to you. You go into a mini panic as your heart speeds up and you go back to mopping the floor.

"First Mate Y/N!" He booms. You flinch at the volume.

"H-Hi captain," you stutter, avoiding his gaze, "W-What can I do for you?" He sets a strong hand on your shoulder and you buckle under the strength, your face heating up.

"I was wonderin' if ye would like t' be in charge o' th' next lootin'," he explains, "Ye've been here a while 'n I reckon ye could do it." Your eyes widen and you look up at him. That was apparently a bad idea because you were unable to form actual words after that.

"We, uh… I do.. I mean I'd… um…" you sputter out. He looks at you worriedly.

"Ye alright? Ye look unwell…" he reaches out and feels your forehead. You almost instantly pull away from him. He frowns.

"Ye're burnin' up, mate! Are ye sick?" He gently sets a hand on your head. You duck away, dropping your mop.

"I'm fine!" Your voice cracks, "I'm perfectly okay I just uh… I need to rest a bit is all! Yeah…" you speedwalk to the cabin you share with John and shut the door.

Magnum stands in the middle of the deck, feeling very confused.

"That was strange," he said to himself, "I wonder wha' th' problem be…"

--

About half an hour passed and you were sitting in your bed, your face in your hands. You went over the interaction several times in your head, feeling the same amount of embarrassment and shame each and every time. John walks into your shared room, looking smug.

"I reckon that went well, don't ye?" He teases.

"Shut up…" you groan.

"If he didn' know ye liked 'im afore, he oughta know now."

"And if he doesn't, I'm throwing myself overboard." John laughs and sits on your bed. You peek at him through your fingers.

"Kid, I mean no offense towards th' cap'n, but he's a moron. At least when it comes t' feelin's," you snort in agreement. "Ye needs t' tell 'im directly if ye wants 'im t' know." You remove your hands from your face and sigh.

"Ok… I'll tell him…" you pause. "Later…" John smiles at you.

"There we go," he consoles. He thinks for a moment, wondering what could take your mind off things, before speaking again. "So, the other day, what were you saying about a heist?"

--

That night, you walk out of your cabin, your knees shaking. John had given you another pep talk, along with a couple other crewmates. You felt a little better, but it didn't really help with your anxiety. Your heart is beating so fast you were afraid it would stop. Your palms are oh so very sweaty, and your legs have gone numb at this point. You barely feel them carrying you over to the captain, who was at the wheel. You stand next to him for five minutes, waiting for him to notice you're there. Eventually, he does.

"Ah! First Mate!" He bellowd. You flinch. "Wha' can I do fer ye?" You take a deep breath in.

"I have something to tell you, captain," you say shakily. Neither of you say anything for a while, and you wonder if he heard you.

"Well? Go on then!" He instructs.

"R-Right… ok… um…" you stammer. You keep playing with a button on your shirt, trying to think of what to say. You can feel his eyes on you and it made you even more nervous. Why did you let them talk you into this? You weren't ready! You couldn't do this. You… you…

You look to the side and see John watching you from behind the mast. He gives you a thumbs up. You respond with a smile and he leaves, decided to let you do this on your own. You take a deep breath and…

"I like you, captain," you blurt out. Magnum doesn't respond and you get scared.

"Be that all?" He laughed, "well, I like ye too!" You blink and look up at him. His face didn't seem to change very much. You're about to smile, but pause.

"Captain… I don't think you understand me…"

"O' course I do! I be yer cap'n, ye're part o' me crew, o' course we like each other!" You stare at him.

"That's not what I meant,"

"Oh? 'n wha' did ye mean?"

"I meant…" you pause, wondering if you should just give up. No. You made it this far. Finish it. you command yourself.

"I meant I love you." You say. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Like… I'm in love with you." You continue, hoping he gets it. He's quiet for a moment before laughing.

"That's real funny, Y/N!" He chortles. You stare at him before letting out a laugh.

"Yeah. Ok. Sure. Yeah, of course. That's fine. I don't even care! That's fucking fantastic!" You grumble. He stops laughing and looks at you.

"That's some language… are ye ok?" He asks. You start walking back to your cabin.

"Yeah, I'm ok! Of course I'm ok! Why wouldn't I be ok?!" You yell and slam your door. Magnum stands there, wondering what just happened.

John opens the door a couple minutes later and walks in.

"Ahoy bud… Ye alright?" He asks gently.

"I don't want to talk about it," you growl.

"Aw, bud…"

"It's not even the fact that he doesn't like me! It's the fact that he laughed! Why would he do that?" You lamented. John set a hand on your shoulder. He's about to say something to try and make you feel better, but he stops.

"Wait… he laughed?" John asks.

"Yeah… why?"

"Would you mind telling him again tomorrow?"

"What? Why the hell would I do that?"

"I want to test something. Please?" He begs. You look at him and sigh.

"Fine… this better be good…"

--

You and the rest of the crew sit and tell stories. Most of the stories are coming from Magnum, but you're not really listening. He notices this and tries to tell more interesting stories, or stories that he thinks you'll find interesting. You still refuse to even look at him, so he lets other people talk.

"Tell him. Right now," John whispers. You sigh and turn to look at Magnum. He leans forward a bit, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"I love you, captain," you say confidently. The whole crew looks at you, and then at Magnum.

"You made that joke last night, Y/N," he laughs.

"It wasn't a joke," you say. His smile falls. The crew decides that it would be a good time to leave, and that's exactly what they do.

"Wha'?"

"It wasn't a joke."

"Wha' do ye mean?"

"I mean I do love you, captain. I'm in love with you. I would like to be in a relationship with you…" your face heats up and you start sweating. God, why were you saying this? Maybe this was the only way he'd understand…

You look up at him and see a confused look on his face. Oh, fuck it… you think.

"I want a relationship with you. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you close. I want to make you smile and I want to be your shoulder to cry on if you need me to. I want to whisper sweet nothings to you as we fall asleep. I want you to let me love you." You explain, heart racing. Both of you are silent for a minute. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for rejection.

"Oh…" he says, uncharacteristically soft. "I… love ye too…" you look at him. He's looking at you, a slight blush on his face.

"You… you do?" He nods a bit. "Then why in the name of Davy Jones did you think it was a joke?!" You shout.

"I didn' know ye'd like me back! I thought ye liked John!"

"What do you mean you thought I liked John?"

"I mean I thought ye liked John!"

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LIKED JOHN?!"

"I DUNNO, YE SEEM COMFORTABLE AROUND 'IM, I THOUGHT THAT MEANT YE LIKED 'IM!"

"Oh my God…" you rub the bridge of your nose. "Why did you think I'm always so nervous around you?"

"I thought... y'know... ye found me intimidatin'..."

"Of course I find you intimidating that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Oh…" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Uh... Sorry I was so ignorant t' yer... Affection…" you chuckle at the apology.

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner," you both sat there, just looking at each other.

"So uh… should we… should we kiss?" He asks nervously.

"Only if you want to. We don't ha-" you're cut off by his lips settling onto yours. You put your hands on his shoulders to keep you upright. He puts his hands on your neck, tilting your head to where he's comfortable.

"Awww!" Multiple voices say from behind you.

"Get a room!" John calls out. You pull away and bury your head in Magnum's shoulder, your face burning.

"Oi! If ye all aren't swabbin' th' deck in th' next five seconds, ye're walkin' th' plank!" He commands. The crew all scramble to get to work. You sigh and pull back to look at him.

"I'm… gonna go help them…" you murmur with a blush. He sighs.

"Ah, okay... We'll... Continue later," he states. You smile and walk away, grabbing your mop. As you mop, you glance at Magnum, seeing him watch you with a lovesick grin on his face. John, also holding a mop, slides up next to you.

"So, when's th' weddin'?"

"Shut up, you fuck!"

the ending is so obviously rushed I'm sorry lol

[orange-waterfalls]

Ouch

I cut my fingy and panicked a lot so here’s a quick not-at-all thought out thing about how some egos would react to s/o cutting their finger while cooking and it like isn’t that bad but they’re freaking out

1.4k words

Enjoy!

Markiplier egos with an s/o who accidentally cut themselves hcs

Darkiplier

He was in his study, just thinking, while you made dinner

He heard a tiny “ow” and didn’t think much of it

He then heard a louder “OW” and a string of “fuck”s and got worried

He entered the kitchen, to see you gripping your wrist and holding your finger under the water from the sink

He thinks you burned yourself

Then you pull your hand away and he sees blood and immediately makes his way over.

“What happened? Are you ok? How bad is it?”

You don’t answer as you are too busy hyperventilating because goddammit it HURTS

He tries to take your hand to look at it but you won’t let him

You look so hurt and vulnerable and he feels so bad

If you’d asked him to help cook, and he didn’t take it, he’d feel a thousand times worse

Eventually, he gets you to sit down and calms you, just a bit, and goes to get band aids

He comes back to you looking like you’re about to have a panic attack

He quickly stands you back up, and you put your finger back under the sink.

He gently washes it with soap and apologizes every time you make a noise

He gives you the bandage and lets you sit on the couch

You calm down and lean on his shoulder

He lets you sit there for a bit, rubbing your arm.

You eventually look up at him

“I think I may have overreacted.”

He’d laugh and kiss your head and goes to finish cooking dinner

Wilford

He wasn’t even home yet

You told him you were starting dinner and he left wherever he was immediately.

He was picking up wine from the store when you called him

“Wilford please get bandaids”

He was confused and a little worried, so he asked why

“Please just buy some and hurry home please” and you hung up

Now, Wilford is hardly a reasonable man as it is. so when he ran out of the store (without paying) and sped down the road in his car to get home before you, like, died or some shit, you shouldn’t have been surprised

He may or may not have run into a pedestrian or two on the way

He threw the door open when he got home, gun in hand

“WHAT HAPPENED WHAT’S THE DANGER”

You’re sitting on a chair in the kitchen breathing heavily, holding your finger

He can’t help but laugh because, christ, he thought it was something BAD

But, to you, it was bad. and he was laughing at you.

You tear up, just a bit. you’re feeling a lot of emotions right now.

He sees and gets worried again because is it worse than he thinks?? is there another injury??? are you traumatized what’s happening?

He tries to look at the cut but you turn away, looking very upset

He tries to convince you to let him see but you won’t budge

You’re whining a little (which I do because I can’t emote properly) which makes him upset

He drops to his knees and holds out his hands

“C’mon, baby! Let me see! Let me help!”

He’s being overdramatic and stupid and it makes you smile. So you do.

He gently kisses the spot, as to not hurt you, and puts a bandaid over it, kissing that too.

He orders take out and lets you lay on his lap while he pets your hair

Yancy

He was practicing some dance moves when he heard you in the kitchen

You were cursing and breathing heavily

Logically, he should know that perhaps you hurt yourself making dinner

However Yancy is a bit of a dumbass so he thinks someone broke in or something

He walks in with a knife, only for you to stand there with your finger under the sink.

He sees the blood, so concludes that you cut yourself. But you look really upset?

He’s mostly confused.

He’s been through worse, you’ve been through worse, he KNOWS you have

So why are you so upset?

“Why are you so upset?” “I don’t know!” “It’s not that bad” “I know...” “What’s the problem?” “I don’t KNOW!”

You start to cry, just a bit, and Yancy panics

He doesn’t know what to do. He’s not used to this!

He wants to tell you to get over it, but also he doesn’t?

Like, he knows it’s the easiest thing to say, but also not the BEST thing to say

So he says nothing. He gets a band aid, puts it on your finger, and hugs you.

He holds you for a minutes until your breathing is normal

If you tell him you don’t wanna cook today, he orders pizza

If you tell him you can, he’ll try to help

You have to kick him out because the man doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing

Illinois

He’s watching you cook and sees it happen before it does

Your finger isn’t in the right place, he saw you adjust

He tries to warn you but doesn’t do it in time

He winces because ouch

He processes what happened before you do, so he already has the band aids.

He turns the sink on, moves your finger underneath, and cleans it with soap

He puts the band aid on you and kisses your hand

He asks if you want to keep cooking or if you want him to cook

If you want to, he’ll help you with whatever you were doing first that made you cut yourself

If you don’t want to, he’ll finish what you were doing on his own.

He makes sure you’ve calmed down and holds your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

“Im being overdramatic...”

“No, you’re not. It hurt. You bled. You got upset. You’re ok now.”

He’s a very understanding and responsible man ^///^

Magnum

None of that goddamn crew can cook for shit, so you always have to

Mostly fish and vegetables you buy at different ports

Magnum and the others are just drinking and laughing when they hear you yell and curse from the kitchen

Magnum goes over to see what’s happening

He sees you holding your finger and goes to hold you

He’s very. protective, I’m gonna say.

“Oh, poor darlin’... are ye alright? Are ye ok? Awh, sweetheart...”

He doesn’t have bandaids, so he cleans a cloth and covers your finger

He makes you rest in your room (even though it wasn’t particularly that bad)

The other crewmates check in periodically to see if you’re ok

Magnum decides he’s going to cook

Yes, the ship catches on fire. No, he will not say how he did it

You have to finish dinner, otherwise the others are gonna kill themselves trying

Google

He’s recharging on the couch while you cook

He hears you curse from the kitchen and concludes you’ve hurt yourself

He doesn’t really see one injury as too much worse than another. they’re all bad

He knows what happens if even the smallest wound gets infected

He wants it dealt with quickly and efficiently

He walks up to you and grabs your hand, pulling it under the sink

He cleans it with soap, puts a band aid on it, and leaves

Dr. Iplier who, bitch?

He likes to sit when you while you eat, just so he can talk to you

You, however, don’t talk to him at all and he’s a little upset

He figures he was a bit too rough with you at first when he reaches for you after you stand up and you pull away

“I apologize for my methods, I wanted to make sure the wound was dealt with posthaste.”

“Well... I guess that’s a good enough excuse.”

You hug him, and he (hesitantly) hugs back

Bing

Probably the reason you cut yourself lmao

He enjoys bothering you when you’re busy

He hasn’t recieved his Designated Bing Attention Hours today and therefore you have to deal with a very clingy and annoying Bing

He’d be less annoying if he’d stop fucking TOUCHING THINGS but w/e

He bumps into you and you yell

He doesn’t realize that you cut yourself until you start cursing

He turns around to see you frantically turning the water on and gets very nervous

Shit, that was his fault? He did that? Fuck, you’re angry, aren’t you. FUCK

He leaves, immediately, and you have to deal with it yourself. 

He paces in your room for a bit, debating what to do

“Ok. Alright. What do people like. Phones? I could buy a phone. I could STEAL a phone. I could steal anything they want! Do people need graphics cards?”

He settles for walking back into the kitchen, apologizing, and walking back out

“nailed it”

You’re a little quiet the rest of the day, and he’s still nervous, but you hug him and kiss his cheek before you get ready to go to bed, so it’s ok

[orange-waterfalls]

Thunderstorms

Captain Magnum x gn!reader

ask: Don't really know how this works I haven't been on here long enough but uh- if your still taking requests for Markipliers egos and stuff could you do a Captain Magnum x reader who has a huge phobia of thunderstorms and Magnum notices while there's a thunderstorm going on and comforts them :')? 

A/N: I wrote this during a thunderstorm so I could keep track of my movements when I got scared. That is my official excuse for how long this took. I missed Magnum so much. Nothing but respect for my Captain. I’ve been into pirates recently because of Our Flag Means Death streaming season 1 now on HBO Max. Also, my writing teacher has assigned us to write everyday but she never said what so expect extremely short bullshit posted more often. Maybe on Ao3. I don’t use tumblr anymore lmao.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Uh. Destiny 2 reference. Battleblock Theatre reference. Mention of. genitalia. yep. Fear of thunder.

--

In hindsight, you probably should have mentioned the extreme fear of thunder before you joined a pirate crew. On the sea. Where storms… happen. And they happen frequently. And strongly. And loudly.

You had no idea how they could do that. Stand out there. With the wind whipping the sails and waves throwing the boat the rain stinging their skin and the lightning striking anything it found and the fucking noise. The boom of the thunder. The explosions deep in the sky, a threat from the gods telling you mortals that you could die at any moment. It was fucking angry. Like Poseidon invited you to Olympus for dinner and you slapped him in the face.

Not that the crew cared. The crew was fucking joyous. The crew… the crew was fucking dancing, goddammit. You couldn’t tell them now. You couldn’t. It’d be the death of any respect they might’ve had for you. You were pretty sure you heard Magnum's booming voice yelling "COME ON! GIMME ALL YE GOT! YE DON'T HAVE THA BALLS". 

You couldn't tell them now. You couldn’t.

The door swung open, cracking the wall, and making you flinch. Magnum waltzed in with a laugh that reminded you of Lord Shaxx to a degree.

"Hoo, the waters be wild tonight, eh, mate?" He stomped into the room, hands on his hips. He looked around, but you weren't sitting in the room. His smile fell. "Mate? Where are ya?"

"In here." You called from the wall. A hole in the wall, moreso. A hide hole. Behind the mirror. It came with the ship, or so you were told. 

He bounded over and opened the mirror, leaning his head to the side to see. You were sitting on the floor, knees to your chest. He frowned.

"What're ye doin', child?" He asked. You shrugged in response. "Couldja get outta there?"

You shook your head.

"Why not?"

You shrugged.

"Alright then." He closed the mirror and you thought that was the last of it. At least until you heard the distinct sound of wood cracking and breaking and splintering, making you hit the deck for fear that the storm had just gotten that strong. 

You looked up once it stopped to see Magnum holding the mirror. The one attached to the wall. That was no longer attached to the wall. It was basically a door, honestly.

"... hi." He said. You blinked at him.

"Hi, Cap." You sighed. 

He looked around your cabin a moment before deciding to just set the mirror against the nearest wall. He then shuffled into the hide hole, needing to duck down quite a bit, and plopped down next to you with his legs resting high up on the wall.

"... what's tha matter?" He asked, softer than you were used to from him.

"There's no matter. Nothing's the matter. I'm fine." You rambled, avoiding his gaze. Your eyes flicked back to him, where he sat squinting at you, scrutinizing.

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes." He waved a finger at you. You looked back at him and tilted your head.

"Really?" You raised your eyebrows.

"No, but ya just admitted ya lied, so mission accomplished." He laughed. You scoffed.

"Oh, you're an asshole." You shook your head, but had a smile on your face.

"Oi! I may be an ass, but I am no asshole, y'understand?" He teased.

"10-4, good buddy." You nodded and stared at the wall in front of you.

"... what's tha matter?" He asked again.

"That mirror was stronger than I thought it'd be." You brought the conversation in a completely different direction. Magnum looked back at the new hole in the wall. He then looked at you, suspicious. 

"Fuckin' strong for some glass and wood." He agreed nonetheless. 

"I thought it'd shatter, but she's still intact. Fuckin… fuckin strong-ass storm, but she's intact… she's alright… for now…" 

Alright, maybe not completely different a direction.

"... what's tha matter?" He repeated for the third and final time.

"Nothing. I'm fine." You shook your head.

"You said." He quirked an eyebrow.

"Then why're you asking?"

"Cause I don't believe you."

"... right. Ok." You took a deep, calming breath, reminding yourself that your captain wasn't shallow. Well, actually, he was shallow. Extremely so. But he liked you. He was your friend. Maybe a little more, though you weren't sure whether it was further in the platonic direction or veered into romantic. You exhaled and turned to your captain. "Magnum."

"Hm?" He hummed his acknowledgement, giving you the softest eyes you've ever seen from him.

"You like me, right?" You started. He squinted at you once more. 

"... mm-hm?" He hummed, already not knowing where this conversation was headed.

"And you respect me?" You continued.

"Yeah…?" He snickered, bringing his hands up and dropping them back on his thighs.

"And that won't change right?" You begged. 

"Not unless ya give me reason to. Where're ya goin' with this, mate?" He crossed his arms and shifted so that he was facing you a little more. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked confused and worried. You didn't like it.

"... Magnum, I have… a confession." You turned to face him fully. He looked you up and down, trying to investigate your body language.

"... go on." He raised an eyebrow again.

"I'm afraid of thunder." You blurted out. For a moment, neither of you said anything. That continued for about 3 more moments.

"... and?" He said, eventually. 

"What?" You asked.

"Is that it?" He started to laugh.

"Wh-yeah." He sighed and clapped a strong hand on your shoulder, making you wince.

"Mate, we all have fears."

"Yeah, but mine's… dumb…" You mumbled. You tucked your knees into your chest and turned away from him.

"... I'm afraid of something." He murmured after a few seconds. You snapped your head up to look at him.

"What is it?"

"... rats." He sighed. You barked out a laugh. He gaped at you, incredulous. "Oi!"

"I'm sorry I just… remembered elephants and… yeah. It-yeah. You're just so big, it seems so silly." You rambled, still giggling.

"I'm trying to comfort you on your fear, and you're over there laughing at mine!" He scolded.

"I'm not, I get it! You're just… why would they be ascolded. To you, specifically?"

"Are ya serious! Y'ever heard of the plague?"

"Vaguely aware of it."

"Nasty, nasty business."

"You afraid of mice?"

"Nah, mice're cute."

"Well, that's presumptuous. Mice can spread disease."

"So yer afraid of thunder." He cut off the debate once he knew you'd made a reasonable point. You rolled your eyes.

"Yeah. The only good thing about a storm is the rain. And rainbows."

"It's just water. And light."

"It's pretty. But I'm hiding here. From the storm." 

"Mm. A'right. I'll wait too then." He stated. You frowned.

"Oh, you don't have to. Go enjoy the storm. Don't mind me." You waved your hand towards the door. He matched your frown.

"Well, no. I can't leave ya alone. What kinda cap'n doessat make me?" He scoffed. 

"You like the storm." You pointed out.

"There'll be other storms." He countered. 

"You can't be with me for all of them." 

"I can be with ya for this one." You tried to stare him down. He stared back. You soon got very, very uncomfortable and looked away with a tsk.

"... fine." You acquiesced. He smiled apparently pleased with himself.

You both sat there as the storm raged on. You flinched and covered your ears at any particularly loud BOOM, and Magnum flinched at your flinching. Whenever he thought you were being a little dramatic, he thought back to when a rat had gotten onto the ship and he screamed like a 5 year old girl he accidentally frightened once. That shut the thought down as quick as it popped up. He squeezed your shoulder when you whimpered and rubbed your back when you curled in on yourself.

Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore. He looked at your shaking figure and it made him feel so… what, sad? He hadn't felt sad since '04. So he made a decision.

He grabbed you by your upper arms and dragged you towards him, putting you in his lap. Your back was against his chest and he wrapped his arms around your middle.

"Mags?" Your voice cracked when you tried to ask what was happening.

"Try to go to sleep." He instructed. Another loud boom made you flinch hard.

"I can't…" you whispered. He sighed and rested his chin on your head.

"... dream of quiet places. Light wind and sprinkles of rain on a sunny day. Maybe a rainbow, if you'd want. Birds and worms and koi fish. All the dumb shit ya like. I'll bring ya to land soon and you can enjoy the quiet. Just… deal with it for now." He squeezed your middle. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, the vibrations from his chest soothing you a bit. 

He moved his hands to gently cup your ears. The sound it made calmed you a little. He slowly opened them again and flattened his palms to try and protect your ears from any further noise.

"Night, Mags…" You muttered.

"Night, mate." He rumbled back, not knowing if you could hear him or not.

It stormed through the night, and he made sure to wake you up to see the rainbow that appeared on the horizon. You stared at the rainbow, unaware that he had chosen to stare at you instead. 

[orange-waterfalls]

Reader w/ wings headcanons(Markiplier Alter Egos)

ty @fancybootm​ for the request!

A/N: i just did all of them. every-all-everyone. Except Yandereplier, Silver Shepard, Ed Edgar... maybe others I’m not aware of at the moment... I tried to stick with a certain number of egos, but my hands just... they just kept moving. It is 11:00 pm when im writing this ya boy is TIRED. there are 1.6k words. It seems longer than it is bc bullet points. Bear with me. You can find the egos that you want easily. The reader is gender neutral. i am so sorry if this is not what you meant lol. on the bright side this is a good reference for all the egos i am open to writing for(also maybe others idk) so uh im keeping it enjoy. I’ll say... a T rating for cursing and also a bit of violence but literally like 20 words. mentions of injury. that’s it.

Requests are open!

Y/N(reader) with wings hcs

No one knows what the fuck you are, not even you

Ya got wings. That’s it.

Are you an angel? A faery? A phoenix? Who knows

You woke up one day in a forest remembering nothing

But you had wings

And then you got shot with an arrow

You ran away and hid in a cave

Darkiplier spends most of his time around you studying you

To see what you could possibly be

He still doesn’t know

He’s settled for calling you a “cryptid”

He’s slightly annoyed with the feathers you leave around the manor

He won’t tell you bc you can’t control that and it’d be rude

You read together in his study on occasion

You sit on the floor bc your wings get uncomfortable in chairs

In sympathy, he also sits on the floor

You think it’s sweet

You told him so and he sputtered out a “shut up and read your book”

He’s fairly fond of you

You’re good company to keep around

Wilford was the one who found you

He was walking through the forest, as one does, when he saw GIANT feathers

Naturally, he followed them

He found you in a cave with an arrow in your shoulder

He took you back to the manor and patched you up

He begged Dark to keep you there

He promised not to kill anybody for a month

He made it 15 days, which is a record

He’s very protective of you, not letting you out a lot since uh… hunters

You are his Sweet Little Songbird, light of his life, wind in his sails, 

if anything happens to you he will kill everyone in the manor and then himself

He helps you preen a lot

His hands are very gentle, surprisingly 

He spends the most time with you out of everyone

You play games, talk(well, he talks to you), and just hang out

He loves and adores you with his whole heart

Actor tolerates you, or so he says

He’s jealous of your wings

HE’S supposed to be the mysterious, sexy one!

But ok, yeah, you’re pretty interesting

He uses you in short films sometimes bc… well… wings

There are alot of things you can do with wings, surprisingly

He took you out into town one night

He shoved the wings under a thick jacket

You guys bought some clothes and food

He cut holes in the clothes for your wings, grumbling about a “waste of money” and “you never go out anyway” 

but he enjoyed spending a bit of time with you

Wilford nearly killed him(again) when he found out

He likes venting to you bc you just nod without really listening

As I said, you’re good company

Yancy thinks you’re nice

He felt a bit… threatened at first

Ya got WINGS, of course he’s cautious

But they are very pretty

And he likes to use you in choreography

People always comment on how realistic the wings are as Yancy leads you away

You don’t judge him for killing his parents, he likes that about you

You don’t know. You could’ve done something bad. You don’t remember

He likes cuddling bc you wrap your wings around him and he feels safe

He also helps you preen… sometimes… 

He’s… really bad at it...

You like listening to him sing

He sings you lullabies at night

You’re very close

Illinois is very fascinated with you

He’s convinced you’re a fairy

He’s seen quite a few of those

You tell him you don’t know, and he goes “a LiKeLy StOrY”

He likes drawing you

You’re very angelic

“Oh, maybe an angel then…” He says, like an idiot

He takes you with him on a few adventures to fly him over pits and stuff

He’d never admit it but he has a… THING about heights

It’s called a phobia, you egotistic maniac

You try to help him with it

You never get that far off the ground before he’s screaming to be put down

He appreciates the effort

He gives you things he finds on adventures that are pretty or remind him of you

He infodumps to you about curses, and archaeology, and adventuring, etc.

Magnum is uh… well, he’s Magnum

He figures you’d be useful out at sea

You can find nearby land, ships, or treasure by flying, of course

He didn’t take into account the fact that you don’t really… fly that often.

So it turned into you just stretching your wings instead of looking for loot

Once you fell overboard

Everyone was like “eh, they can fly, it’s fine”

Then they realized that you probably can’t since your wings might be wet

Magnum LEAPED into the fuckin water and THREW you back on

He doesn’t take you on the sea as much anymore

sometimes you talk about life, treasure, love, y'know the usual

He’s very Father Figure-ly

Bim isn’t sure how to feel about you

You are a person. With wings. What’s he supposed to do about that

He’s friends with Wil, so has to tolerate you at least.

He tries to make conversation, but it doesn’t always go as well as it could

You don’t have much to talk about, and some of his topics worry you

Mostly you two just kinda… exist in the same general area

Sometimes he’ll discuss what he should do on his show

You don’t have many ideas

But you’ve gotten an idea of what it is, and sometimes give a suggestion or two

He appreciates you for that

He tried to get you on the show once but Wilford refused

You kinda wanted to, but whatever

You’ll hang out sometimes too

He’s very entertaining, he has to be

Eric is kind of scared

Not that you’ll hurt him, that he’ll hurt you

That happens a lot to people he likes…

He eventually starts hanging out around you

You don’t ask bad questions, and you distract him from his dad

He talks about animals with you a lot, and how he wanted a farm

You bought a cowboy hat and gave it to him and he cried

You also gave him a stuffed cow one day

He hugged you for a long time

You two cuddle a lot bc the boy needs SAFETY and SECURITY

You wuv each other(platonically or otherwise)

Dr. Iplier doesn’t bother you, mostly

He appreciates that you keep to yourself

He has his work, that’s what he’s focused on

Sometimes he’ll see you when you try to find Wilford or get some food

He tries to get a good look at you without looking suspicious

It doesn’t work, he always falls over

He once gave you a “physical”

It was mostly to just figure out what you were

You seemed mostly human based on the results

But goddammit you had WINGS

They had their own function but were sort of like an add-on to your body

He was slightly disappointed you weren’t gonna… turn into a whole bird

You tolerate each other

Google fuckin’ hates you

He’s completely perplexed by you

Which he is never because he is the most intelligent being on the planet

So he assumed he could figure out what you were

Turns out google fucking sucks at figuring out things people don’t already know

So he hates you. Like a lot

He’s tried to kill you multiple times

But his objective is to destroy MANKIND

You are not included in that

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE!!!

Also Wilford almost killed him for it

So yeah he just kinda hates you

You’ve tried to get along with him but he just wouldn’t

He finally talked to you when Bing called him a little bitch

Still hates you, but can tolerate your existence now

Bing fuckin’ adores you

You are just wonderful to him

You can FLY??!! You have WINGS???!!!!!

You don’t really care that he is an artificial BEING????!!!!!!!!

You’re perfect

He does Sick Tricks™ to try to impress you

They never do

You appreciate the effort

You don’t see him a lot, but when you to it’s very entertaining

He taught you how to skateboard

You kinda sucked but he’s very supportive

He likes just hanging around you

It’s the only time he ever chills the fuck out

Everyone’s thankful to you for that

Your entire dynamic is “what if... i put... my minecraft bed... next to yours? haha just kidding... unless?”

The Host doesn’t really care about the wings??

I mean, he can’t see them, so… what’s the big deal

You appreciate that

He still does the uh… narration thing… with real people…

The stories end better now

You convinced him to make the stories end better

You sat with him to make SURE the stories end better

He also started writing novels recently

You help with plot and character development

He appreciates that

The Jims… don’t really care about you

I mean you’re interesting, of course

But they physically Cannot get a clear picture of you

Even if you agree to sit still, it just doesn’t happen

It is always, ALWAYS blurry

They eventually give up and leave you alone

They do spend a bit of time with you

You help them with demon episodes sometimes

You don’t do much, but they like the emotional support

King of the Squirrels is… well, he’s him

He doesn’t… he doesn’t do much

He hangs out with his squirrels. That’s pretty much it.

You just started hanging out with him one day

He didn’t mind

You two feed the squirrels while sitting by a tree

He lets you wear his crown sometimes

He draws his squirrels, and lets you see the pictures

He teaches you how to draw them

You two don’t talk, really

You just sit. And hang out.

He doesn’t really smile, but you can tell when he’s happy with you

[orange-waterfalls]

Hugs From The Captain!

Captain Magnum x gn!reader

A/N: hi. it's me. i'm not dead! which is an awful surprise considering the amount of people who WROTE MY OBITUARY yesterday, PREEMPTIVELY in case I did die. but i didn't! so suck on that.(yes this is a markiplier quote no I do not remember what video) anyways here's a soft Magnum fic with a lil angst. as a treat. after fucking MONTHS. I have been kind of experimenting? with like more banter or realistic type of dialogue. just like. lemme know if u think it's good. Rated T for cursing. Fluff and sort of angst. Uhhhh tw: self-doubt, tw: guns, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs. Reader doesn't like. Use guns. Or drink. Or do drugs. Uhhhh I think that's it enjoy!!!

Word Count: 2.8k

Hugs From The Captain!

---

“Good job, matey!” Magnum yells out when you drop a large sack of coins on the ground. You breathe heavily and your arms are shaking, but by God you carried that shit onto the ship. In the middle of a gunfight, no less!

You don't respond, preferring to hit the deck as bullets continue to fly. You cover your ears with your hands and squeeze your eyes shut tight. No matter how long you'd be on this ship, you were sure you'd never get used to this part. You don't know how long you were on the floor, but when you looked again, two other crewmates were on the floor as well and it was silent. You scramble to your feet and look around, sighing when you notice the other ship sailing away.

"Good job, Y/N!" One of your mates says loudly, still on their stomach on the floor. Ah, yes. Gunshots. Ringing in the ears. Love it.

“Thank--!” You’re cut off with a squeak as Magnum squeezes you in a giant bear hug.

“Aw, you’re doin’ fantastic! That was wonderful! I never thought I’d have such a great first mate!” He turns to another crewmate. “...no offense”

“Some taken…” he sighs and rests his cheek in his hand.

"Mag-" you can't finish before you wheeze a breath out, and the captain takes that as a sign he should put you down. He does, holding your shoulders as you sway, and brushes you off a bit.

"Apologies… I get a bit excited," he flushes.

"You're-" you clear your throat, "you're fine."

"Anywho, let's all celebrate tonight! I have some o' that fancy whiskey in me cabin!" He suggests.

"Fancy?" You croak.

"Ya know. Fancy! The bottle actually has a label on it!"

"Right… uh, sure. We can do that. Ok."

"Fantastic!" He reaches out for another hug but freezes when you flinch away. He plays it off by grabbing a rope and telling the crew what to do.

You sigh in relief. You love the guy, you do, but goddamn he is strong. Sometimes a hug is a bit too forceful. You were sure he's cracked a rib before.

You stand next to him, waiting for him to let you know what you can do, but he just smiles and sets a hand on your head.

"Ye were wonderful today. Yer arms must be tired. Ye should go rest," He explains.

"What? No, I'm fine!" You put your hands on your hips. He squints at your arms, and you look down and notice they're shaking. You let them drop.

"Mm. Go rest," he instructs and you cross your arms before sulking away to your room.

--

You lay on your bed completely still. You'd been in this position for the past 4 hours. It had gotten dark and you were sure you missed dinner.

Ok, fine, your arms hurt before.

But now you couldn't feel your body at all. Everything was completely numb. Maybe carrying a giant bag of gold coins that was nearly the same size as you wasn't the best idea.

You hear the door creak and your heartbeat speeds up but you literally do not move a single muscle.

"Mate? Y'alright?" Magnum asks. You groan in response. That was supposed to be a "yeah". He walks over to your bed and you manage to move your neck a bit to look up at him.

"I have a feelin' yer bein' dramatic." He chuckles, a deep sound that echoes through your room.

"How dare you," You whisper, your throat hoarse.

"It can't be that bad."

"Not everyone is a seven foot tall mass of muscle."

"There's a bit I'm pudge in here too, don't worry."

"Whatever."

"We're celebratin'. Ye wanna come or are ye gonna lay here for another 6 hours?"

So it was 6, not 4.

"Magnum, boss, cap, mate, I don't think I can fucking move, much less dance with you people." Because whenever there's drinking, there will be dancing. You've been here long enough to know that is a fact.

"Here, I have an idea."

"Wha--" He lifts you up like you weigh nothing and you feel your face heat up a bit. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. Literally. You hear and feel your back crack in several places. He drops you onto your feet and, again, you sway a bit, and again, he steadies you. You stretch your limbs, sighing.

"Uh… thanks. Still don't think I can dance, though..." You scuff the floor with the toe of your boot.

"Eh, thas alright. Ye can sing, can't ye? Ye know a few shanties?" He asks.

"... a few…" You say with a smile.

"Good! I'm sure they'll love to hear ye," He gently sets a hand on your shoulder. He sets it gently on purpose. You know because he was about to slam it down with a force that would probably dislocate your shoulder, but stopped a few centimeters away and made sure to let it down soft.

"Mm. We going now?" You pat the hand on your shoulder.

"If ye want."

"Bet. Let's go."

--

After an hour or so, you had exhausted your voice and all the shanties you knew. Magnum was right, the other crewmates were very excited to hear you sing. They even chanted beforehand. As soon as they recognized the songs they joined in they joined in. They started dancing after a while, too.

You're sitting by a light in the corner, sipping your drink. They're having a lot of fun, and you can't help but smile. You feel… safety. Comfort. Affection. Love.

You love these people. This is your family. This is a group of people who you might have never known if your life had gone just a bit differently. You thanked whatever being is out there in the universe for giving you this… family. This feeling of pure joy.

You hear loud creaking towards you as Magnum approaches. You tilt your head back to look up at him behind you.

"Oi. Ye alright?" He inquires in a voice much quieter than you're used to.

"Yeah, I'm good," You say, matching his volume.

"Ye were actin' like we were goin' ta haveta saw yer arms off," He teases.

"I thought you were!" You defend jokingly.

"I'da been the one to do it."

"Woulda given me a cup of beer and said 'it's basically an anaesthetic'."

"Well, of ye drink enough…" you both chuckle. You look down at your drink and swish it around in your cup a little. You can feel him staring at you and it starts to make you uncomfortable.

"What is it?" You snap a bit on accident. He frowns. "Sorry…"

"Ye sure yer alright?" You groan loudly in annoyance.

"Yes! I am absolutely sure, 100%--"

"Tell me and I'll buy ye a treat next time we get to shore." You both stare at each other for a moment. Your arms are in midair since you were cut off from your dramatics. He had an eyebrow raised and was looking at you suspiciously. You drop your hands onto the table.

"I feel useless." You say bluntly.

"Wha? Why? Did someone say somethin'? I'll shoot them out o' me cannon right now!" Magnum panics.

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" You sigh and fall back in your chair.

"Wha d' ye mean?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"There's no… nobody said anything, I just… I got a bag. One bag!"

"Aye! An' that was very--"

"Mags, they each got at least two. Some even had three. You got seven. Plus a chest."

"Ok, so we're a little… little stronger than ye, what about it?"

"I'm not… useful to you! I'm not as strong, I'm not good in a gunfight, I can barely talk my way out of anything--"

"Ye talked John out of his potatoes."

"I thought his name was Jack?"

"Eh, he-he never corrects anyone. I called him James the other day and nothin'."

"Huh. But that doesn't count. I know him."

"Ye are useful, and even if ye weren't, yer a valuable… valuable? Yea, valuable member of this crew. I haven't seen 'em dance this much in months. I haven't smiled this much in months. Ye are a very important part of me ship. Crew. Me crew."

"...Mags, are you drunk?"

"Not the point. Wha I'm sayin' is we love ye and now we're attached and ye can never leave."

"Ah, I see. C'mon. Bedtime," You stood up and walked over to Magnum, putting a gentle hand on his arm. He squints at it.

"No," He looks up at you.

"Mags…" You warn.

"No," He crosses his arms and leans back.

"Magnum," You cross your arms. Is he really doing this right now?

"Call me captain," He smiles brightly.

"...I'm not doing that," You can't help but smile back.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why do you want me to?"

"I like it."

"Ok, Mr. authority complex."

"Stop psychoal… psychoan… psy--"

"Psychoanalyzing."

"Yeah that."

"Only if you get to bed."

"...bah."

"Bah, yourself. Stand up."

"I'm a lil tipsy, it's fine." He says, swaying a little. You put your hand back on his arm and he stares at it as you lead him to his cabin.

"You'll thank me in the morning when everyone has a pounding hangover and you just have a headache." You pat his arm.

"Mm. Mate?" He asks, still staring at your hand.

"Yeah, Mags?" You open his door and let him walk in. He looks at you standing in the doorway with this… weirdly soft look on his face.

"...I love ye." He whispers. Ok, that was way too quiet and a very uncharacteristic thing to say.

"Love you too. You're drunk." You repeat.

"I know. I still love ye."

"Thank you. Go to sleep."

"Cuddle?"

"No, you smell like whiskey."

"Please?"

"No. Love you. Go to sleep."

"G'night."

"Night."

--

"Morning, everyone." You smile over your cup at the tired and annoyed faces that walk through the door. Some mumble a "good morning" back, some only give you a wave, some straight up ignore you. Magnum walks in, visibly doing better than the others, and makes his way to you.

"Uh…" He scratches his beard.

"Hm. Let me guess…" you tap your chin with a finger and raise your eyebrows.

"...thank you." He sighs.

"Called it," You tilt your seat back and put your feet on the table.

"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbles.

“Sleep well?” You sip your drink.

“Eh… yeah…” He says after a couple seconds.

“That’s a hesitation I hear,” You raise an eyebrow.

“Mm… dream was a… a little bad…” He sits in a chair across from you.

“Bad? Bad how?” You tilt your head, and the look he gives you isn’t a very good one.

“Eh, jus’… jus’… mm…”

“Don’t wanna talk?”

“Not… really…”

“Ok. Coffee?”

"Aye." You stand up and get another cup of coffee with a little bit of sugar and some whiskey and hand it to him.

"... sugar 'n whiskey…" he says, surprised for some reason.

"Yeah. You like it that way, right?" You ask, worried you'd gotten it wrong.

"Aye, aye I do…"

"...is something wrong?"

"...no. Nothin'."

"You… sure?"

"Aye."

"Ok… I'm gonna… go see if the others want anything." He nods as you walk away.

That was. Very weird.

You shake your head and walked up to John. James. Whatever.

"Mornin'... Joseph." You say experimentally.

"Mornin', Y/N." He smiles. So, he just answers to anything. Great.

"Need anything? Coffee? Food? Drugs?"

"Why would we need drugs?" Another mate asks.

"For your hangovers, duh." You clap your hand on Jim's (Jake's?) shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll spike your drinks." They all thank you at different energy levels as you leave to get their individual cups of coffee. You feel someone staring at you and turn to see Magnum gazing at you from his seat. He clears his throat and turns away once you see him. You sigh and distribute the cups among the crewmembers. One of them stares at you as you hand them a cup.

"What?" You ask defensively.

"He's in love with you." She comments.

"Yeah, I know…" you sigh and sit down at her table.

"You know? What do you mean you know?!"

"I mean, I know!"

"Do you like him back?"

"That's a difficult question."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I love him a lot but he's a greedy bastard with an authority complex and he hugs way too hard."

"The hugs are not that bad." You give her a look. "Ok, yeah, they are."

"Uh-huh."

"You could… teach him how to hug and see where that gets you?"

"I think I'd hurt his feelings if I suggested that."

"Then just… hug him!"

"What? No!" You whisper-shout to get your point across but also make sure Magnum doesn't hear you.

"Why not?!" She whisper-shouts back.

"That's… weird! I don't give hugs! Hugs are not a thing I give! I get hugs I do not give them!" You both stare at each other for a minute.

"You're touch starved," she raises an eyebrow.

"No shit, so is he."

"One hug! That's it!"

"I refuse."

"I'm sure it'll make him happy!" You pause, thinking about it. He did seem a little upset when you flinched at him. You glared at the pirate and she gave you a shit-eating grin back. She knew what she was doing. Fuck.

"One hug." You hold up your finger to emphasize the point.

"That's all I ask." You point at her and stand up from your seat. You walk over to Magnum. He looks up at you, eyes widening for a moment.

"First mate." He nods.

"Captain," You nod back, "Can we talk?"

"...uh."

"Just real quick? Somewhere private?"

"Uhhhh."

"Magnum."

"Ok. Yea, we can… do that." You nod and began walking towards his cabin. After a couple steps you realize he's not following you and turn around. There he is, sitting at his table.

"Mags?"

"Hm? Oh! Comin'."

He makes his way over to you and enters his cabin. You enter afterwards, shutting the door behind you. You look at him, this 7-and-a-half foot giant of a man, fidgeting. Nervous. You squint at him. How are you gonna go about this?

"You hug too hard." You state. He frowns and drops his hands to his sides.

"Oh…" He says, sounding disappointed. Fuck hurting his feelings, he was gonna hurt your organs, goddamn.

"You need… you gotta be softer. More-More gentle. Like… like, uh…"

"I'm not sure I can--"

"Here, lemme-just…" you shuffle over to him and wrap your arms around his torso. You feel him tense up under your touch. You lay your cheek on him and just squeeze your arms a little. You can't reach all the way around, but it seems to be working pretty well for what you can do. His arms are just frozen in the air, and he keeps moving them just a little, like he wants to hug you back but can't. You inhale a little and smell gunpowder, wood, and coffee. It's a comforting smell, mostly because it's just his, and you can't help but squeeze a little tighter and nuzzle into him. His breath hitches and his heartbeat speeds up. You grin.

You're fucking with him. Not on purpose, but it's happening.

You finally pull away after a few minutes, giving one final squeeze to his midsection before finally stepping back. You look up at him, an innocent smile on your face. He just stares down at you, a blush on his face. His eyes are a little foggy, and you start to get a little worried. Maybe that was… too much, too fast.

"Mags? You okay?" You whispered. He seems to snap out of whatever trance he's in at that because he sucks in a breath and drops his arms.

"Aye! I'm alright! I'm going to uh… go now!" He announces loudly and stomps out of his cabin.

You chuckle as you watch him walk robotically over to the front of the ship, almost tripping over himself and yelling at anyone who laughed. You sigh, shaking your head and sitting on his bed.

You'd wait until he told you about his feelings. You'd wait until he was ready. You could do that... You could do that.

You look out the door again, seeing the crew all working, and him just standing at the wheel. He has a dopey, crooked smile on his face and his hands keep twitching like he can't contain himself. He catches your eye and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and scrunch up your face. He smiles wider and it looks like he chuckles. He looks away, embarrassed. You smile again before standing up and leaving his cabin, planning to ask what you can help with.

Hugs are good enough for now.

[orange-waterfalls]

read it, cowards, I'm proud of this shit

I'm Havin' Feelings Fer Ye

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@lovefor-xreaders ty for the prompt!

A/N: Guess who has no life and wrote an entire 2,000 word fanfic all in one day? THIS ASSHOLE! im so fucking bored guys, please, this is all I have. Send prompts. Uh... Rated T for cursing and violence. I think mostly angst, fluff at the end.

Word Count: 2.3k

--

You danced around the ship with some of the other crewmates to shanties the captain sang. You found treasure! You actually found treasure! You had honestly expected to die at some point… but you didn't! And you found treasure! That was wonderful! You were starting to think the heist wasn't such a bad idea! Even though Mark's… gone… you'd be alright! You had treasure! You'd be alright…

Captain Magnum watched you as you danced around, a smile present on your face. It made him feel all weird inside… he'd lived long enough to know what love feels like… probably. This was not it… he didn't think… he honestly didn't know. But when he watched you spin and kick your feet and laugh… he felt real happy…

You danced for a while before you eventually got tired and sat down, panting. The captain and the crew were messing with the treasure. Picking it up and letting it fall back into the chest, examining it, biting it…

These people were weird…

You held out your hands for your share of the treasure, since you were being patient. He looked to you and set a small coin in your hand, curling your fingers and patting them. You squinted at him, wondering if he's actually serious. He seemed to be, since he headed to his quarters immediately after. You frowned, looking at the coin. You'd talk to him about that later…

Captain Magnum felt a bit bad about only giving you a coin. What else was he supposed to do? You might've left if he gave you more treasure! He couldn't have that! Then again… that seemed a bit manipulative… eh, you'd be fine. He sat down in his chair and thought about you.

You were an enigma to him.

He'd felt this way before… but it was so… prominent this time… why was he so fond of you? It's not like you were special! You just had beautiful skin and sparkly eyes and the most stunning smile he'd ever seen and...

Goddamnit, he was in love…

He sighed, wondering what he was going to do about this, when he heard a sharp knock at his door. He jumped a bit, not expecting anybody since it was pretty late. He stood up and walked over, opening the door. You were standing there with your arms crossed. He was going to greet you, but you looked pissed. He wondered why. Then, you held up the coin.

"Are you kidding?" You asked accusingly. "I'm your first mate, you trust me enough to choose where we go, and you give me this bullshit?" You started walking towards him. Despite the height difference, he felt a bit intimidated by you. He stepped back.

"Listen, I be th' cap'n. I already told ye, me share be more fair than others," he stated. You glared at him and he felt his stomach drop. "Ye knew wha' ye were gettin' into, ye can nah be angry," he crossed his arms. You sighed.

"Fine. Whatever," you mumbled as you left the cabin. He opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth again. You were already gone anyway. Nothing he could do about it now. He'd get some sleep and you'd be fine in the morning.

--

It had been a few days since you found the treasure. You weren't talking to Magnum. He kept glancing at you as you were swabbing the deck. Your smile was replaced with a frown. It was less of an angry frown and more of a sad frown, but it made him feel just as bad. He waited a while to talk to you because he didn't want to mess it up. He eventually decided that it was a good enough time to do so, and he walked over to you.

"Mornin', first mate! How did ye sleep?" He asked. You paused for a moment, but you didn't answer. "Uh... 'twas a bit windy last night, huh? Glad we got all th' loot inside..." you still didn't look up, but your frown got tighter. He patted his hands on his legs and sucked in a breath. "Wonderful weather we be havin'?" You finally stopped mopping and turn to him.

"What do you want?" You asked, exasperated. He frowned.

"Are ye okay? Ye seem upset…" he commented.

"Oh, no yeah I'm totally fine!" You scoffed. "My best friend's dead, the guy who killed him won't even bother giving me any sort of compensation, I may never see my family or friends again, but sure I'm fine." You stated, mopping vigorously. Magnum sighed and looked at your face. You looked like you were on the verge of tears. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the right words.

"I... I be sorry. I'll give ye more treasure if... If ye promise ye won't weigh anchor…" he finally managed. You stopped and turned to him slowly. His eyes widened. "No, no, no! Ye... I didn'... um…" he gulped as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uh-huh. Go on. I'm waiting." You demanded. He took a deep breath.

"I... I find ye endearin'... 'n I wants ye t' stay... wit' me... specifically." He said. Your face softened a bit, to his joy. He smiled.

"I… have people back home." You said. His smile fell. "I can't just… leave and… not tell them anything…"

"Then tell 'em! Write 'em a letter or somethin'! That would be fine!" He said desperately.

"What am I supposed to say? "Hey, guys! I eloped with a 7 foot tall pirate and am now sailing the seven seas as his first mate"?"

"...yes?" He said, unsure. You sighed and looked down. He held his breath, waiting for whatever you were going to say next.

"What am I supposed to tell his family?" You asked softly. He took a deep breath.

"I... I dunno. 'n... I be mighty, mighty sorry about wha' I did t' yer friend... But... I... I be... I reckon I be in love wit' ye…" he said shakily. You looked up at him, your eyes widened. You could see a tint of red on his suntanned cheeks. He avoided your eyes for a bit before you chuckled. He looked at you. You smiled at him warmly. He returned it.

"I…" you began, blushing. You were cut off by the sound of a cannon.

"Avast! Prepare to be boarded!" A voice boomed from above.

"Oh, God, not again," you whined. Magnum reached out to put a hand on your shoulder, but another cannonball whizzed past you two, making you fall in different directions.

"Ye hide. I'll take care o' this," he instructed. He unsheathed his sword as you hid behind a nearby barrel, watching him to see if he'd need any assistance.

"Who be thar? Show yourself, yellow-bellied cur!" He yelled. You blinked, processing what he said. "Yellow-bellied cur". Huh. That was new. You heard wood creaking behind you and ducked further behind the barrel. You slowly rose and saw a man standing in from of Magnum. He was taller than you and had an average build, and was wearing a pirate outfit. His clothes looked… cleaner and more fancy than Magnum's. He was holding a sword and had a peg leg.

"Who are ye callin' a yellow-bellied cur?" He said in a low, rough voice.

"Obviously you, shitlord!" You said, quickly covering your mouth with your hand afterwards. The man turned and looked at you. He raised an eyebrow, smirking. You suddenly felt… violated.

"Well, well, well. Wha' 'ave we here?" He chuckled. "I may jus' keep ye fer meself." You laid your hand on a revolver.

Magnum tightened his fist around the hilt of his sword and swung. The man blocked it and stumbled back.

"Ye lay a hand on them, ye're dead." He growled. The man smirked and tried to jab at his side. Magnum managed to block it in time. The two captains went on sword fighting for a couple minutes while you stayed behind the barrell. The other man's crew was on the ship fighting the rest of yours. You felt a bit useless, so you grabbed the revolver and aimed towards the other pirates. You grazed two in their legs, and nailed one in the shoulder. You lost track of Captain Magnum after a while. While you looked for him, you heard something land behind you. You yelped and spun around, seeing the invading captain.

"Ahoy thar, darlin'," he smirked at you. You held the revolver up to aim at him. He scoffed. "C'mon, darlin'. Thar's no needs fer that. I won't hurt ye… Much."

"Go fuck yourself," you snarled.

"Such naughty language fer such a sweet thin'." He laughed. "I'll 'ave fun wit' ye."

"Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound creepy at all. Great," You sighed. He took a step towards you and you cock the gun. "Don't move, asshole." You warned.

"Oh, come on now." He chuckled. "We both know ye're too soft t' shoot me. So, why don't ye-" You shoot. The bullet hits him in the side. His eyes widened as he stared at you in disbelief.

"Something about me, captain," you set the gun down and walked over to him as he fell to the floor. "My best friend is dead. I'm feeling a bit pissed. And I have shot a man before." You got on one knee and leaned down next to his ear. "I'm not as soft as I look." You stood back up and walked back to the middle of the deck.

Captain Magnum was frantically walking around. The crew looked okay, so you sighed. The captain heard and spun towards you. He smiled widely as he ran over and enveloped you in a hug.

"Oh, thank Poseidon. Ye're okay. If I had lost ye I... I... I dunno wha' I'd do!" He stammered, petting your head. "Ye're okay, right?" You smiled and hugged him back.

"I'm alright, Captain," You whispered. He sighed and held you for a while before the previous first mate cleared his throat.

"'tis real touchin' 'n all, but we should prolly repair th' ship." He suggested. Magnum turned to him, glaring.

"Ye interrupted a bondin' moment t' tell me that?" He glowered. You bit your lip to keep from laughing. The crewmate opened his mouth to respond, but almost immediately closed it and started picking up pieces of wood. The other crewmates followed suit.

"We should help them," you declared. Magnum looked at you, his eyebrows knitted together.

"But do we 'ave t'?" He asked hopefully. You smiled and pulled away from him. Despite wearing a couple layers, he could feel the absence of your warmth. He sighed and helped clean up.

--

It took a while, but you all managed to clean up the deck. You'd probably need to buy more wood to repair the boat, but you figured it'd be fine. It was dark now and everyone had retired to their quarters. Except for you. You sat on the deck, staring up at the stars. Magnum left his quarters to check on you. He got worried when he saw you weren't asleep. He walked over to you, ruining the mood a bit with how loud he was. He dropped next to you with a loud creak of the floor. You didn't look at him.

"Ahoy," he greeted.

"Hi," you responded bluntly. You both sat there for a moment while he came up with things to say.

"Are ye okay?"

"Yep."

"Okay. That be good." Silence. "Wha' are ye doin'?"

"Just… stargazing."

"Okay. Why?"

"Felt like it."

"Oh." More silence. "Are ye thinkin' about 'im?"

"Yes."

"Do ye want t' talk about 'im?"

"No. Not tonight. Maybe another time."

"Ok... 'tis a tad cold tonight."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Me cabin be th' warmest... If ye... Wanted t' sleep in thar... Wit' me... That would be alright…" You whipped you head towards him surprised. He noticed your panic. "Or not! That be fine too! I understand. Sorry fer botherin'. Goodnight!" He started to stand up, but you took his hand. He looked at your interlocked hands, flushed, then back at you.

"That would… that'd be fine." You said shakily. "I just… want to stay out here a bit longer."

"Ok," He nodded and plopped back down. You retracted your hand and tucked your knees to your chest, looking back up. He continued to look at you for a second, smiling, before looking back up. You chuckled.

"He loved space…"

--

Captain Magnum could listen to you talk for hours. You start talking about stars, then about Mark, then you get to talking about your other friends and family. He listened to everything you said because he knew it was important to you. You started to yawn after 45 minutes and you leaned on his arm. He froze in place, not wanting to bother you. Eventually, he looked down at you to see if you were asleep. Once he confirmed you were, he effortlessly lifted you up and carried you to his cabin. He gently set you on the large, warm bed. He wasn't planning on getting on it with you. You weren't there yet. You hadn't even told him you loved him back. He couldn't in good conscience get into a bed with you. He sat in his chair and looked at you. You were so…

"Gorgeous," he said under his breath. You cracked an eye open.

"Right back at you," you slurred. He blushed. You held out your arms. "Come into bed," he blushed deeper.

"No, I don't reckon I should…" He tried to say. You whined and he just couldn't. He stood up and carefully climbed into the bed with you, making sure to keep a bit of space between you two. That was pointless because you immediately turned over and snuggled into his chest. He gently moved his arms to embrace you tightly. He set a small kiss to your head and just lied there, wanting to treasure this moment.

Your eyes closed again as you heard him say "I love you". You smiled.

"I love you, too."

If I didn't say it before SEND PROMPTS