#Apollo's Ego Chronicles
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Hades: Persephone, please stop trying to adopt Cerberus' heads. They're all the same dog. Persephone: No, this one's Gregory, and he has anxiety.
#incorrect quotes#funny#humor#jokes#memes#hilarious#hahaha#greek mythology#greek gods#greek gods incorrect quotes#greek mythology incorrect quotes#ancient aesthetic#olympian shenanigans#zeus being zeus#hades#persephone#hades and persephone#modern mythology#lore olympus#webtoon#webtoon fandom#lore olympus fandom#dysfunctional pantheon#Apollo's Ego Chronicles#Athena’s Eye Rolls#Poseidon’s Tsunami of Sarcasm
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Alternative AU, My AU
Hi, good morning, I'm Seven and English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if I have grammatical mistakes, it's the first thing I tell you and also that it motivates me to upload my own AU of Percy Jackson a bit of Magnus Chase and the Kane Chronicles but We start with PJO, what will it be called? "Alternative AU" that name is for the three sagas, what is it about? Well, as we well know Percy is a demigod and he is the son of Poseidon, god of the sea, well in my AU it is the other way around, Poseidon is the demigod and Percy the god of the sea and so on with everyone, I leave you the list and a short summary Gods: Hestia goddess of the home: it could be said that she does not have changes, only those of who her brothers are Kaite goddess of agriculture etc: She takes the role of Demeter the second eldest Sister Hera goddess of marriage, Queen of Olympus, etc: the only change in her is that instead of being the wife of Zeus she is Jason's Nico god of the dead and King of the underworld, etc: He takes the role of Hades which makes him be married to Persephone but she accepts that he is with Will since she is still the Queen of the underworld in the same way Percy god of the Sea and King of Atlantis, etc: He takes the role of Poseidon Jason god of heaven and King of Olympus etc: He takes the role of Zeus They are like this from oldest to youngest, the same as how the 6 children of cronos were born Piper goddess of love: in the original story Aphrodite marries Hephaestus but here Piper does not marry Leo since for me they are and will always be friends or treat each other as brothers Clarisse goddess of war: she takes the role of Ares and is dating Chirs whom she cheated on once with Piper Chirs god of thieves, etc: he takes the role of Hermes just like Aphrodite deceived Hephaestus with Ares, Clarisse deceived Chris once with Piper after that the events that originally had to happen happened, in another blog I do the more detailed history of them Sherman god of fear: Sherman takes the role of Phobos and is the son of Clarisse and Piper, the product of an infidelity Ellis god of terror: Ellis takes the role of Deimos and is also the son of Clarisse and Piper product of the same infidelity Mark destroyer of cities: Mark takes the role of Enio the Sister of Ares, son of Hera and brother of Clarisse Annabeth goddess of wisdom, etc: She takes the role of Athena and if she argues a lot with percy but they don't have a rivalry like Poseidon and Athena Leo god of fire, etc: He takes the role of Hephaestus and a bit of his history and he is still Piper's friend or even sometimes they are called brothers Will god of the sun, etc: he takes the role of Apollo and before you ask no, he does not have the personality of Apollo oh his ego, he is just Will and Nico's boyfriend Thalia goddess of the moon and a hunter, the original is the hunters of artemis, here are Thalia's hunters and by the way I tell you that Will and Thalia are twin brothers just like Apollo and Artemis Pollux and Castor gods of wine, etc: in this case Pollux takes the role of Dionysus as director of the camp, Pollux has the punishment of not drinking wine, while Castor remains on Olympus and sometimes goes to the camp to see his brother Now we go with those who will be the Demigods and will have their last names but only the ones that change Demigods: Demeter Gardner: She takes the role of Kaite in this story Hades Di Angelo: He has the same story as Nico, only for reasons of age he will be the second oldest of his "cousins" Zeus and Poseidon but the tallest of the three and that is why they consider him as an older brother even though he is not. and is the closest to poseidon Poseidon Jackson: takes the role of Percy and all his history, he will be the greatest between Hades and Zeus since he is the hero of the prophecy, he also has a rivalry with Jason and Clarisse just like Percy has with Ares and Zeus in the original , Zeus Grace: she is a mix between Thalia and Jason (more Thalia than anything else), Zeus being the one who ran away from home and then met Luke, he was the one who became the tree that protects the camp, he is the youngest among hades and poseidon Aphrodite Mclean: she is the one who replaces Piper and is Ares's girlfriend Ares La Rue: she assumes the role of Clarisse and as always having her rivalry with Athena, she is dating Aphrodite but here Hephaestus has nothing to do Phobos Yang: Take the role of Sherman Deimos Yang: that would be the role of Ellis wakefield but I am not going to separate two twins like Phobos and Deimos Enio: she would be the one to play Mark but she doesn't have a last name Athena Chase: she takes the role of Annabeth and her whole story in this AU, she ran away from home at a young age and soon met Zeus and Luke, just like Annabeth in the original, Athena has a cousin Einherjar but that's what I'm talking about in another blog and before they ask no, there will be no Poseitena, I don't like it Hephaestus Valdez: he takes Leo's place, unfortunately he also takes his insecurities but Dionisio or little Harley are there for him if he feels bad Apollo solace: he assumes the role of Will but he is still a first class egocentric although he also has an Egyptian friend and an einherjar friend but these two will be discussed in other blogs Artemis solace: Artemis is not a demigod, just a hunter but she has the last name of Apollo and they are twins from different fathers Hermes Rodríguez: takes the role of Chirs and is Apolo's best friend Dionysus (no last name): takes Pollux's place as his son and Castor's nephew
#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#hoo#pjo au#percy jackson au#alternative universe#annabeth chase#poseidon#my au
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Hello!
Hello,
Welcome to my little area in the Tumblr website. I am just here to post stories, look at other posts from other users, and chill as I travel through different worlds.
I do want to make clear that you guys can call me Ran (Rahn), for I am not comfortable to share my real name on this platform.
A little about me for those who are curious:
First, I go by She/Her pronouns, but I am fine with They/Them pronouns as well if you are more comfortable with going by those.
I write my own stories, create my characters, and build my own worlds. I am not a fan-fiction writer, but I love to talk about various different fandoms, theories, characters, etc. even if I not part of the fandom.
I am not a frequent poster and can go a couple months without posting anything then suddenly post one or two things.
The fandoms that I know:
A Court of Thorns and Roses Series (Currently on A Court of Silver Flames)
Harry Potter
Undertale (Haven't played the game, Au's Mostly)
Hermit craft
Minecraft in general
Markiplier Cinamatic Universe
Jacksepticeye Egos
Anything Rick Riordon Specifically:
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Heros of Olympus
Trails of Apollo
Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard
The Kane Chronicles
The Demigods meet the Kane's series.
That' all I think of right now. I do ask that you be respectful towards other while on my area. I do not like people fighting or spreading hate. I want this area to be a safe space as much as possible for everyone. I also ask that you keep anything political or most controversial stuff away from this area as well; I am not big in politics, and I want to prevent arguments in this area.
Thank you for reading!
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Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 36 (SPOILERS)
"Sherman Yang's chariot, which was still circling the statue's legs in a vain attempt to electrocute its kneecaps." Is this the same flying chariot that the Apollo and Ares cabins were bickering over during The Last Olympian and that the Lost Hero trio were picked up by at the start of Heroes of Olympus? I have a headcanon that the Ares cabin felt bad about their lack of participation after the Second Titanomachy and gave it back to the Apollo cabin and that's why it's stated as belonging to the Apollo cabin in The Lost Hero. Now with Sherman using what I assume is the same chariot 'cause there's no way the camp has multiple flying chariots laying around, that means they share it sometimes! Awww I love this background storytelling.
"Hades used to love sneaking up on me that way and yelling, 'HI!' just as I shot an arrow of death." The way Apollo knows Hades is very, very different to the characterization of Hades we're familiar with. To Apollo, he sounds like the weird uncle who shows up every winter solstice and encourages the kids to participate in dangerous activities that their parents would never let them do.
"A plague arrow" That thing is a giant metal statue. It does not have organs, nor an immune system, nor any flesh whatsoever. A plague arrow is possibly the least effective weapon that could possibly be used against it other than maybe a feather on a stick. "disease to kill the Colossus's animating power" Mmm still dubious but okay.
"And... if you fail?" "I won't have the strength to try twice. You'll have to . . . Find an arrow, try to summon some sickness, make the shot" Y'ALL CONNED ME. We've all been going "give Will plague powers" WHEN IT'S IMPLIED THAT ALL CHILDREN OF APOLLO NATURALLY HAVE HAD PLAGUE POWERS ALL ALONG. Or at least it's common enough that Apollo has faith Kayla and Austin can pull it off if he fails! So all, most, or some children of Apollo can conjure up sickness, but they either don't know or simply choose not to. Maybe Will stands a chance in Tartarus after all. After all, Annabeth made it through and all she had was superpowered weaving and the ability to bruise any immortal deity's ego.
"Sherman Yang's chariot, minus Sherman Yang." Uhh, Canoe Duo, what did you do? Tell me Sherman Yang isn't dead. All y'all had to do was tell him you have a plan and you need to borrow the chariot. "Nico convinced them to disembark." You threw them off the chariot when it was dozens of feet in the sky because talking would have taken too long? Will, you're the medic! You know you're gonna have to get them fixed up and yet you deliberately cause them bodily harm!
"after that shadow travel, Nico is going to pass out any second." "'No, I'm not,' Nico complained, then passed out." First of all, funny. Second of all, Nico got seriously nerfed. There's no way he's still recovering from fading halfway out of existence. Even with the inconsistency of demigods' powers throughout this series, Nico could open a passage to Asphodel and drag someone (Bryce Lawrence) into it without even touching them. Now he tries shadow traveling within seeing distance and passes out. Yeah, he took Will with him, but that should be easy as pie after taking three people and a forty foot tall statue overseas. And it was within seeing distance. How's he gonna survive Tartarus again, let alone save one or more people from down there? With this new revelation, I seriously have more faith in Will making it through than Nico.
"Another time, in a Stockholm tavern, I met this god who was smoking hot, except his talking sword just would not shut up." My friend tells me this is Magnus Chase reference. I think. Or it might've been Kane Chronicles. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure they said Magnus Chase. Neither of us have read either of those series.
"The arrow quivered." Do not apologize for that pun. Lol. Apollogize
"PRITHEE, SHOOTING IS NOT MY PURPOSE." PRITHEE (exclamation): please (used to convey a polite request)
"'FORSOOTH,' said the arrow." FORSOOTH (adv.): indeed (often used ironically or to express surprise or indignation)
Why does this arrow talk so loudly. Such a small thing, yet such large bellows.
"In a flash of silver light, the camp's magical barriers collapsed." Fuck.
"'You can't hear this arrow talking?' Judging from her wide eyes, I guessed the answer was, No, and does hallucinating run in the family?" This made me laugh. She really must've thought he'd gone mad. Too much time in the Grove of Dodona and whatnot.
"'I'm fine!' Kayla yelped . . . splattering drops of red all over the chariot's floor." This just about sums up the demigods' attitude toward injury.
"Only one of the missiles was unbroken, and its shaft was warped." But he's gonna make the shot anyway, 'cause he's awesome. Odd how he keeps calling them missiles, though. It never occurred to me that the word for missiles might have existed long before the missiles we know today were invented.
"STARTEST THOU: PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY." That friend I was talking about earlier: This was the line that took her out. THIS line. Can you believe...? Of all the jokes.
"My plan would take much too long, if I could even remember how to make a plague arrow. This was my punishment for breaking an oath on the River Styx." How does he know? Does he just... know? This is for using the whole anthill as a giant instrument and shooting arrows at the ants, right? So we know the geyser oath to save Meg doesn't supersede the oath on the Styx against using arrows or instrumental music and this is the punishment for it. I don't like how the Styx oath is just an excuse to do certain plot points. This plan not working could easily just be blamed on Apollo's faulty memory or human error (which is possible now that Apollo is human and really even if he weren't). Anyway, I wonder if he's ever gonna break a Styx oath and then, like it was said that Styx oaths could take a lifetime to wear you down and ruin you, the punishment doesn't take effect so soon after and he lives in fear of that coming back to bite him.
"Hey, Bronze Butt!" Classic weak Percy insult. "Over the Colossus's head" Shadow travel can't make new shadows. The volcano thing was a one-time incident and that was because the mountain gods working for Gaea interfered. Unless hellhounds have more advanced shadow travel than Underworld demigods.
"The weekend was here." I like that introduction for Percy. He's like "I got time on the weekend. Might drop by." And then the weekend comes and he shows up for this epic battle instead of relaxing weekend-related activities. Story of his life.
This post was way longer than it ought'a have been. I've written an essay. Not sorry.
#reading trials of apollo#reading the hidden oracle#reading toa#reading tho#toa spoilers#trials of apollo spoilers#trials of apollo#the hidden oracle#percy jackson and the olympians#apollo pjo#apollo#sherman yang#the Apollo-Ares flying chariot that has been featured in all three pjo series#hades pjo#hades#will solace#nico di angelo#canoe duo#canuo#tsats speculation#dodona talking arrow#kayla knowles#austin lake#apollo kids already have plague powers why didn't y'all tell me?#percy jackson#pjo#toa#pjo hoo toa#rrverse#riordanverse
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Hm. What if we took Octavian out of his (gorgeous, majestic) Roman context and put him in one of Rick’s other series? Like, what path would he follow if he were a magician a la the Kane Chronicles?
I mean, yeah, yeah, the path of the gods is forbidden and Octavian would totally end up being a Diviner for the House of Life -- but he’s ambitious, so let's say he does end up following a divine path.
I'm gonna say,,,Thoth? He probably wishes it were Ra, but he's rather academic. His role regarding prophecies is a lot like that of a scribe. He deals in words and knowledge, especially knowledge that others don't have yet. Thoth also has associations with order (Ma'at), civilization, oratory, and with literally establishing the cosmos. All of that easily plays into Octavian's ego and desire for control, his self-concept and hangs up regarding destiny. He's also not outstandingly good at any kind of martial prowess, so there's that. I always thought it was interesting that Thoth is also sometimes known as Ra's personal guardian and assassin. I'm not saying that Thoth ever did this, like Isis did, but someone with a job like that might be tempted to take advantage, which is lowkey / implied to be what Octavian did to Apollo.
I do think he would be less content as a follower of Thoth than he is as a legacy of Apollo, however. His delusions push his ambition further, but not necessarily his ability. He might try the path of Ra, or the path of Isis, but I don’t think it would go too well. If he got too frustrated with the House and his failings, he may even spring for the path of Set, but I'm not sure. He might go for mixed magic like Setne and forgo the paths of the gods altogether.
I know we haven't explored the Kane Chronicles universe and its gods as much as I wish we did, so these are just some thoughts. Honestly -- and this just occurred to me now -- Octavian may be That Jerk who follows the path of the Aten. Y'know, the sun disc? Because when you think about it, his promises to make Apollo central and primary in the Roman pantheon look a lot like Ahkenaten's attempt at switching Egyptian worship over to Aten. I have no clue what powers Aten might have, though, besides those generally over life and creation,,,
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call it magic (when i’m next to you) [chapter four]
summary: As the long-lost grandson of the illustrious Gramarye family, Apollo already knew his life was going to change for the better and for the worse. After spending his formative years on the run, adjusting to his new place in magical high society was never going to be easy. It’s only when he finds himself locked in a metaphorical - and sometimes literal - dance with Klavier Gavin, both his potential suitor and the bane of his existence, does he realize just how complicated things are about to become.
word count: 4,463
a/n: This fic is a magical ‘verse set in the regency era, where some artistic liberties are taken with the time period to accommodate the story and the magic lore. Most of the details of how this ‘verse works is explained in the fic, but I’ve made an explainer that also includes some image links to characters’ familiars, which can be found here.
Spoiler warning for minor plot points and character relationships in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney and other games, including Investigations and Chronicles. Fic title is from the song Magic by Coldplay.
preview:
“I-I’m not much of a romantic, but I’d like to marry someone whose company I can, at the very least, tolerate.”
“Don’t we all,” Simon drawled in a manner that somewhat endeared him to Apollo, though not enough to keep from cowering under his steely gaze. “...Gavin-dono is in good health, by the way; I suspect the only wound you’ve inflicted upon him is to his precious ego.”
“What are your feelings, Lord Simon?” Apollo couldn’t help but ask. “I find him astonishingly awful, but…”
“Oh, absolutely insufferable,” Simon agreed, shuddering, causing Apollo to snort indelicately as he sipped his tea. “What a shame that you may very well have to marry him.”
Apollo promptly spat tea all over his lap - or, to be more precise, all over an unsuspecting Mikeko, who yowled profusely in pain; Apollo’s reflexes only just managed to spare him from the wrath of Mikeko’s claws as he swiped at his master with a spitting hiss for good measure. “What?!”
“Did you really not foresee such a possibility?” Simon remarked, unimpressed. “Your grandfather would have made a match of you and that snobbish prince regent in no time at all, were you not raised as brothers, so we can only assume he intends to marry you off to me, van Zieks-dono, or Gavin-dono; no one less than any of the three of us will do. Even Debeste-dono, being a noble in his own right, is too lowly in the great Magnifi’s mind to matter, and there are precious few noble families left that he would care to consider. And, of course, there are a great many families he would consider that boast no eligible bachelors, only bachelorettes - the Skyes, the de Fammes, the Hawthornes, to name a few.”
Apollo offered another expression of complete disgust as he wiped his damp face. “I mean no offense, Lord Simon, but I sincerely hope that you’ll laugh in Grandfather’s face if he ever attempts to persuade you in favor of me.”
“I will howl like a wolf, Justice-dono,” Simon droned flatly.
(read on ao3)
#klapollo#kyodoroki#ace attorney#klapollo fic#ace attorney fic#myfic#myfic: call it magic#long post#love how most of my chapter previews for this fic so far have had zero klavier in it lmao#i'm going slowburn here so he's not around much at the moment
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Treat Your S(h)elf: The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker
We’re going to survive - our songs, our stories. They’ll never be able to forget us. Decades after the last man who fought at Troy is dead, their sons will remember the songs their Trojan mothers sang to them. We’ll be in their dreams - and in their worst nightmares too.
- Pat Barker, The Silence of the Girls
“It’s always hard on women, when a city falls.” Briseis, former princess of the Trojan city of Lyrnessus, has been Achilles’s slave for several months when someone she knew in her old life says these words. From the ancient world to our modern world there is this ugly and unspoken line of rape as a weapon of war. History is replete with examples. In the 20th-century where Nazis raped Jewish women despite soldiers' concerns with "race defilement" and raped countless women in their path as they invaded the Soviet Union and then in Berlin 1945 Russians in turn went on a brutal raping spree to punish the Germans. In the bloody Balkan wars in the 1990s, Serbian forces tortured and summarily executed scores of Muslims and Croats. In the Iraq war and the many conflicts in Africa in the 21st Century, rape is systemically used to subdue a defeated enemy. History shows the ugly truth that women’s bodies have always been viewed as the spoils of conflicts waged primarily by men.
The issue of rape in war is something that has always sat uncomfortably with me ever since I did my stint as an army combat helicopter pilot in Afghanistan. From my high vantage point I felt a detachment from the electronic battlefield - for everything was viscerally seen from my helmeted eye patch visor lens and not the naked eye. I couldn’t look people in the eye as as soldier on for patrol would have. The fear and sweat is the same but the risk is different. Soldiers on patrol or on a mission risk the constant threat of ambush, sustained attack under mortar or fire fights as well as the ever present danger of being blown up by an IED by accident. Pilots risk being coming under attack too by being ambushed by RPG rocket fire or coming under fire from below. Worse, was to think if you got hit and you had to bail and you were all alone, survival and evasion from capture becomes fearfully paramount. Of course they train you for this until it hopefully becomes muscle memory in how to survive and take evasive action from being captured and resisting as long as you could under interrogation. But as a female pilot the unspoken fear that dare not speak its name was ever present: the fear of rape.
I’m not sure my brother officers - no matter how sincere and well intentioned they were because we were all fiercely protective of one another - really understood what the word ‘rape’ means for a woman. Indeed a male friend and ex-army colleague said to me in jest don’t ever kid a man about kicking him in the balls because it’s one thing every man can imagine feeling but would find it hard to explain the excruciating pain when a man does get his balls bashed in. I don’t think the two ‘experiences’ are the same obviously but I understand how hard it is to articulate what it might feel like. I never really allowed myself to be consumed by the fear of what might happen if I ever got shot down and was captured but instead I made sure to focus on my job. It never really became pressing issue for me throughout my time in on the battlefield. I was lucky I got out in one piece despite a few close scrapes along the way.
I did hear awful and terrible stories from my oldest brother who served in the Iraq War of the raping of Kurdish women by Iraqi forces. It sickened him and left him hollow the the things he witnessed first hand. Through the charitable work of ex-veterans I have come across refugee woman who shared their harrowing stories of how they were violently and systematically raped as war booty and as primal assertion of victor dominance and control.
I was thinking about all these things as I read Pat Barker’s novel about one of the most famous wars of all, telling the story of the siege of Troy from the point of view of the local Trojan women taken by the Greek forces. It’s The Iliad as seen through the eyes of 19-year-old Briseis, the Queen of Lyrnessus who’s taken as Achilles’s “bed-girl”, his “prize of honour” for mass slaughter.
Barker’s not the first to turn to the classics for inspiration. It’s popular practice these days. Kamila Shamsie’s Home Fire and Michael Hughes’ Country, for example, transpose classical stories onto contemporary settings. The Silence of the Girls is yet another much welcomed book to offer a fresh perspective on Homeric women, following Madeleine Miller’s brilliant Circe. But while Miller’s reinvention of literature’s first witch brilliantly evoked a world of ancient magic in retelling The Odyssey from the witch’s point of view, not that of the warrior she waylays on his journey home, Barker’s story has its feet very firmly on the ground. Yes, the gods are still there – you can’t tell the story of the Trojan wars without them, after all. The gods remain mostly off stage but they are present in the background, magically restoring the mutilated dead body of Hector. The sea goddess Thetis, Achilles’ mother, is a briny, frightening presence, as are the dark shore and the waves by which the whole horrible story takes place. Apollo still sends a plague, Achilles is the son of a sea goddess who brings him divinely forged armour and Hector’s body is magically restored to freshness after being pulled behind Achilles’s chariot.
But what really stands out are not heavenly allusions but the dirt and filth and disease and sheer brutal physicality of the Greek army marauding everything that stands in their way to Troy - there’s no magic here to ease the pain and trauma of rape or murder or even to help exact revenge. And while Achilles’ divine mother makes an appearance, and Apollo is beckoned by Briseis to bring about a plague, the gods remain on the peripheries of this story. If Circe, which chronicles the life of its titular character, is very much about the gods and their egos, then The Silence of the Girls, however, is very much about humans, their egos and their wars - both personal and political.
In all this Barker gives female characters such as Circe and Briseis the voice they’ve traditionally been denied, readers glean a different version of events behind the Trojan War epic myth. “Great Achilles. Brilliant Achilles, shining Achilles, godlike Achilles…How the epithets pile up,” Briseis begins. “We never called him any of those things; we called him ‘the butcher’.”
In The Iliad, a poem about the terrible destruction caused by male aggression, the bodies and pretty faces of women are the objects through which men struggle with each other for status. The women are not entirely silent, and goddesses always have plenty to say, but mortal women speak primarily to lament. They grieve for their dead sons, dead fathers, dead husbands and dead protectors; for the city of Troy, soon to fall, and for their own freedom, taken by the victors of war. Andromache pleads with her Trojan husband Hector not to leave her and their infant son to go back to fight Achilles. She has already endured the sack of her home city by Achilles, and seen the slaughter of her father and seven brothers, and the enslavement of her mother. If Hector dies, their child will be hurled from the city walls, Troy will fall and Andromache will be made the concubine of the son of her husband’s killer. Hector knows this, but he insists that his own need to avoid social humiliation as a battle-shirker trumps it all: “I would be ashamed before the Trojan men and women,” he says. He hopes only to be dead before he has to hear her screams.
Barker’s absorbing prose puts the experience of women like Andromache at the heart of the story: the women who survive in slavery when men destroy their cities and kill their fathers, brothers and children. The central character is Briseis, the woman awarded to Achilles, the greatest Greek fighter, after his army sacks one of the towns neighbouring Troy. Agamemnon, the most powerful, although not the bravest, of the Greek warriors – a character whose downright nastiness comes across beautifully in Barker’s telling – has lost his own most recent female acquisition and seizes Briseis from Achilles. Achilles’ vengeful rage against Agamemnon and his own comrades, and the subsequent vast death toll of the Greeks and Trojans, is the central theme of The Iliad.
Homer’s poem ends by foreshadowing the fall of Troy in the death of its greatest fighter, Hector. Barker’s novel begins with the fall of another town: Lyrnessus, Briseis’ home, destroyed by Achilles and his men. We then see that the fall of a city is the end of a story only for the male warriors: some leave triumphant and others lie there dead. For the women, it is the start of new horrors.
Barker’s subject has long been gender relations during conflict, along with the machinations of trauma and memory, so she’s in her element here. Her blood-drenched battle scenes are up there with the best of them, and she shows a keen understanding of the “never-ending cycle of hatred and revenge” fuelling the violence. Her focus, however, is that which takes place off the battlefield, inflicted on the women in the “rape camps.”
Barker keeps the main bones of the Homeric poem in place, supplementing Homer at the end of the story with Euripides. His heartbreaking play The Trojan Women is, like Barker’s novel, a version of the story that shifts our attention from the angry, destructive, quick-footed, short-lived boys to the raped, enslaved, widowed women, who watch their city burn and, if they are lucky, get a moment to bury their slaughtered children and grandchildren before they are taken far away.
One of Barker’s most tear-jerking sequences is lifted straight from Euripides: the teenage daughter of Priam and Hecuba is gagged and killed as a “sacrifice” on the dead Achilles’ tomb, and then Hecuba is presented with the tiny corpse of her dead grandson, a toddler with his skull cracked open. The girl’s gagged mouth and the child’s gaping brains conjure a gruesome twinned image for the silenced voices that should tell of the horror and pity suffered by the victims of war.
For most of Barker’s novel, Briseis is the first-person narrator, but in the final part, the narrative is intercut with third-person chapters told from the point of view of Achilles. We never get as close to Achilles as we do to Briseis, but he is a compelling figure in his fascinating combination of brutality and civility. Like Siegfried Sassoon in Barker’s 1991 novel Regeneration, this Achilles has the soul of a poet as well as of a killer and hunter: he is a man whose physical courage and compulsion to fight sit uneasily with his clear, articulate awareness of the futility of war.
But Achilles, however fascinating he may be, is not then at the centre of this story. Still, the novel does provide a moving, thought-provoking version of what is perhaps the most famous moment of The Iliad: when the old king Priam makes his way, alone and unarmed, through the enemy camp, to plead with Achilles to give back the mutilated body of his son, Hector. Barker twice quotes Priam’s Homeric words to Achilles: “I do what no man before me has ever done, I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son.” Barker lets us feel the pathos and pity of this moment, as well as the pathos of all the many young men who die violent deaths far from home. We glimpse, too, Achilles’ alienation from his own “terrible, man-killing hands”, which have caused so many deaths.
Briseis has a powerful riposte to Priam’s words, weighing this unique encounter between men against the myriad unremembered horrors suffered by women in war. “I do what countless women before me have been forced to do. I spread my legs for the man who killed my husband and my brothers.”
Reduced to objects, they’re catalysts for conflict – Barker’s Helen inspires ribaldry not worship, “The eyes, the hair, the tits, the lips/ That launched a thousand battleships...” chant the soldiers – blamed for inciting hatred between men. Or they’re regarded as the victor’s spoils, claimed along with cattle and gold.
Briseis is both. Taken as a slave, Achilles and Agamemnon then feud over her: “It doesn’t belong to him; he hasn’t earnt it,” fumes the former. Men - Greek and Trojan alike – are afforded the privilege of vocalising their pain and loss, while women have to repress their suffering. “Silence becomes a woman,” they’re told, even when they’re free.
No longer an issue of decorum, now it’s about staying alive. “I do what no man before me has ever done, I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son,” declares Priam when he prostrates himself before Achilles begging for Hector’s body. “And I do what countless women before me have been forced to do, Briseis thinks bitterly, “I spread my legs for the man who killed my husband and my brothers.”
Barker has a very clear feminist message about the struggle for women to extricate themselves from male-dominated narratives. In the hands of a lesser writer, it could have felt preachy and woke but she masterfully avoids that. The attempt to provide Briseis with a happy ending is thin, and sometimes the female characters’ legitimate outrage seems a bit predictable, as when we hear Helen thinking: “I’m here. Me. A person, not just an object to be looked at and fought over.”
The novel has some annoying anachronisms, such as a “weekend market” (there were no weekends in antiquity), and a reference to “half a crown”, as if we were in the same period as Barker’s first world war novels. One wonders if any woman in archaic Greece, even a former queen, would have quite the self-assurance of Barker’s Briseis. But, of course, there is no way to be sure: no words from women in this period survive but Barker is surely right to paint them as thoughtful, diverse, rounded human beings, whose humanity hardly ever dawns on their captors, owners and husbands. This central historical insight feels entirely truthful.
Barker has a quasi-Homeric gift for similes: “that shining moment, when the din of battle fades and your body’s a rod connecting earth and sky”, or Achilles’ friend Patroclus dying, “thrashing like a fish in a pool that’s drying out”. There is a Homeric simplicity and drive in some of the sentences: “Blood, shit and brains – and there he is, the son of Peleus, half beast, half god, driving on to glory.” She is Homeric, too, in her attentiveness to what happens between people, and to the details of the physical world: the food, the wine, the clothes, the noise and the feel of skin, blood, bones, crackling wounds and screams. Barker, like Homer, understands grief and loss, and sees how alone people can be even when they are crying together. Loneliness in community is one of the major themes of this book, as it is of The Iliad.
Angry, thoughtful, sad, deeply humane and compulsively readable, The Silence of the Girls shows that Barker is a writer at the peak of her literary powers. You sense her only priority is to enlarge the story that we all know and she adds to it magnificently.
I have always enjoyed reading Pat Barker especially her enviable experience of writing about military life in her earlier novels and here in this book it shines through in the depiction of the Greek forces. The men are dehumanised by the wars they have created. This is primarily a book about what war does to women, but Barker examines what it does to men too. I was disturbed by the magnificently poignant final section which can’t help but make you reflect on the cultural underpinnings of male aggression, the women throughout history who have been told, by men, to forget their trauma. When Briseis is told to forget her past life, she immediately knows it is exactly what she must not, can not do: “So there was my duty laid out in front of me, as simple and clear as bowl of water: Remember.”
Briseis knows no one will want to record the reality of what went on during the war: “they won’t want the brutal reality of conquest and slavery. They won’t want to be told about the massacres of men and boys, the enslavement of women and girls. They won’t want to know we were living in a rape camp. No, they’ll go for something altogether softer. A love story, perhaps?” But even so, Briseis, for all that she must bear, understands eventually that the women will leave behind a legacy, though not in the same vocal, violent way the men will.
“We’re going to survive,” she says, “our songs, our stories. They’ll never be able to forget us. Decades after the last man who fought at Troy is dead, their sons will remember the songs their Trojan mothers sang to them. We’ll be in their dreams - and in their worst nightmares too.”
I felt disconcerted reading this and also very moved. As much as I love the Classics and firmly believe in it providing the foundational building blocks of our Western civilisation I also have to pause and remind myself that heroic behaviour, something the greatest of the Greeks are known for, isn’t anything admirable when viewed from the lens of the women they abuse. Heroism can be tainted by the dark side of one’s nature. However pure one soldier’s sacrifice for another can be, so there is the bestial side of us where the chains of civilised moral behaviour are unshackled and left to satiate our primal instinct for cruelty, conflict, and domination. Indeed what Barker does is be a much needed corrective because just as you think her perspective of the Greek heroes may be softening, she pulls back to remind you of Odysseus tossing Hector’s baby from the battlements, or Achilles’s casual butchery. “It’s the girls I remember most,” Briseis says. This then is a story about the very real cost of wars waged by men: “the brutal reality of conquest and slavery”.
In seeing a legend differently, Barker makes us rethink who gets to write history but also to remind us of our tainted human condition. There is no god in the machine to sort out most violent conflicts and situations with a thunderbolt here. There are only mortals, with all their flaws and ferocity and foolishness. And we all have to live with that but not I hope in silence.
#treat your s(h)elf#books#reading#personal#pat barker#barker#the silence of the girls#troy#greek#classical#antiquity#achilles#briseis#andromanche#trojan war#war#rape#violence#book review#literature
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Riordanverse Alternate Universe Masterlist
👀 just throwing this out here to see if anybody actually reads it. Feel free to ask about any of them :). This list is constantly updating and changing, and hopefully I can actually link some related posts at some point, but this is all for now
Colour code: Blue is for Percy Jackson specific AUs (Roman and Greek), Green for Magnus Chase, and Orange for Kane Chronicles. Purple is for Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles crossovers, Pink for Percy Jackson and Magnus Chase, and Red is for Percy Jackson/Magnus Chase/Kane Chronicles three-way crossovers
Carrion Feeder
Mother never thought you fit to be a Ruler
Hunting Dogs
Runaways
Universal Swap
Run with the Wolves
On the run
Daylight Hunt/Hunters of Apollo
Field Trip?
Two wrongs don't make a right
Accidental Law Violation
There's enough space for two world-changing pantheons in this hotel
Oh, brother
Last
Solo//So Low
Never thought I'd see this side of you
Unwilling recipient
Mother, Mother
A rose, to go with my good looks and insufferable ego
O' intern O' mine
As the friendship goes, resentment grows
Freakshow
The Menagerie
Words Come Tumbling Out
Carter Jr.
Good Kid
They say "pick your battles" (but I'd rather not fight at all)
Homeschool
Blood Clot/Pawns die a lot
Beat Black and Blue (yet those colours are so pretty on you)
#Percy Jackson#PJO#HoO#Percy Jackson and the Olympians#Rick Riordan#Riordanverse#AU#Alternate Universe#Alternate Universe Masterlist#Riordanverse AUs#Constantly Being Updated#Under Partial Construction#Honestly pretty Percy-Centric not gonna lie
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Poseidon: Stop calling my trident a “big fork.” Athena: Then stop calling my spear a “toothpick.”
#incorrect quotes#funny#humor#jokes#memes#hilarious#hahaha#greek mythology#greek gods#greek gods incorrect quotes#greek mythology incorrect quotes#ancient aesthetic#olympian shenanigans#zeus being zeus#hades#persephone#hades and persephone#modern mythology#lore olympus#webtoon#webtoon fandom#lore olympus fandom#dysfunctional pantheon#Apollo's Ego Chronicles#Athena’s Eye Rolls#Poseidon’s Tsunami of Sarcasm
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Apollo 11: The inside story from rivalry between the astronauts to Buzz Aldrin's secret tragedy
Fifty years ago, Neil Armstrong became the first person to walk on the moon. Here, Robert Stone and Alan Andres tell the story of a journey that changed the world It was a glorious New York tradition, which originated at the end of the 19th century with the dedication of the Statue of Liberty. Since then Manhattan had held more than 160 ticker-tape parades to celebrate visits from kings, queens, generals, sports heroes, explorers, and aviators. When the astronauts of Apollo 8 [the first mission to take humans to the vicinity of the moon] arrived in the city in early January 1969, there was no question: a ticker-tape parade was obligatory. More than 200 tons of confetti and scrap paper were transformed into a chaotic celebratory blizzard by the force of the bitter January winds rushing down the canyon of Sixth Avenue. [The astronauts] Frank Borman, Jim Lovell, and Bill Anders smiled and waved at the hundreds of thousands of well-wishers. When the motorcade crossed on to Broadway, [they] noticed that the avenue’s signs had been changed to read Apollo Way. At precisely the same moment, journalists were gathering in an auditorium in Houston to meet another Apollo crew. Here there were no celebrations or marching bands. Instead, Nasa was introducing the newly named crew of what was expected to be the first mission to attempt a landing on the moon – in just six months. Space fever started in early 1969 with a ticker-tape parade in New York to celebrate the Apollo 8 astronauts – the first to reach the vicinity of the moon Credit: GETTY IMAGES Unlike the Apollo 8 crew, the Apollo 11 crew – Neil Armstrong, the commander; Buzz Aldrin, the lunar-module pilot; and Michael Collins, the command-module pilot who would remain in orbit above the moon as the lunar module [known as Eagle] attempted its landing – were fairly reserved when appearing in public. A perfectionist, Armstrong personified the disciplined, conscientious test pilot. His calm, soft-spoken style was the antithesis of the macho jet-jockey stereotype. Still, Armstrong’s jet combat experience during the Korean War, while flying the experimental X-15 rocket plane [was] legendary. Ambitious and brilliant, Aldrin was a [strong] choice to serve as the lunar-module pilot. His intense personality was nearly the opposite of Armstrong’s, whose deceptive lack of ego could make him disappear in a crowd. The lift-off of Saturn V, which propelled Apollo 11 from Earth, 16 July 1969 Credit: NASA During the Houston press conference, Aldrin revealed that his late mother’s maiden name was Marion Moon. However, [he had] a sad secret. His mother’s death the previous year had been the result of an overdose of sleeping pills, and he blamed himself for her suicide. She had struggled with depression in the past, and as attention surrounding her famous son increased, so did her anxiety, which proved overwhelming. Despite their contrasting temperaments – Armstrong deceptively affectless and placid, Aldrin intense and focused – both were as competitive as the other alpha-male astronauts. The Apollo 11 astronauts: Buzz Aldrin (left), Michael Collins (top) and Neil Armstrong (right), photographed with their wives and children Credit: GETTY IMAGES From the gallery of journalists came the inevitable question: ‘Which one of you gentlemen will be the first man to step on the lunar surface?’ Aldrin had begun training for the lunar extravehicular activity and had reason to assume that, as the lunar-module pilot, he would be the first to set foot on the moon, with Armstrong following him 40 minutes later. However, when Armstrong answered the question, he revealed, uncomfortably, ‘The current plan calls for one astronaut to be on the surface for approximately three-quarters of an hour prior to the second man’s emergence. Now, which person is which has not been decided up to this point.’ Aldrin also left open the question of who would be first man. Outwardly, neither man showed much emotion about the matter. But the tension in the room did not go unnoticed. A solution arose out of practical necessity. The designers of the lunar module had placed the hinge of the square exit door on its right side. When the door opened inward, the lunar-module pilot’s movement within the spacecraft’s cramped interior was confined; only the commander, on the left side of the cabin, had sufficient room to exit. Therefore, the commander would have to exit first and reenter last. Aldrin was disappointed but professionally stoic whenever the issue was discussed. Neil Armstrong’s shadow on the surface of the moon Credit: NASA Although he received slightly less attention than his crewmates, Michael Collins [was] more socially at ease than they were. [He] possessed an observant eye and an understated wit. Collins described the Apollo 11 crew as ‘amiable strangers’, in contrast to other crews like Apollo 8, who bonded far more easily. For Collins, the unique personal challenges were of an entirely different sort. By remaining in the command module [known as Columbia] in orbit above the moon while his crewmates were on the surface, he would experience a form of solitude unknown to any [other] human being. During 47 minutes of each lunar orbit, Collins would be cut off from all communication and any sign of life. On one side of the moon would be the Earth, with its three billion inhabitants as well as Armstrong and Aldrin. On the other side would be Collins, entirely alone. Many camped out on beaches and roads close to the Kennedy Space Center before the launch Credit: NASA Apollo 11’s chosen landing site was a relatively level and smooth area in the Sea of Tranquillity, near the lunar equator. Should the moonwalk proceed as planned, the Apollo 11 crew would deploy a small array of scientific experiments, including a seismometer, a device to measure the solar wind, and an optical reflector. It was hoped the latter would aid in determining the precise distance between the Earth and moon within an accuracy of about 3cm by using a laser beam sent from an Earth observatory station. In early spring, Nasa convened a Committee on Symbolic Articles Related to the First Lunar Landing [which] resolved that nothing during the lunar landing should suggest the United States was laying claim to the moon’s sovereignty. The State Department endorsed the idea of displaying the flag of the United Nations, a proposal that was immediately rejected by the Nixon White House. As a compromise, the committee recommended that the American flag be planted in the lunar soil and that the achievement’s larger human context would be conveyed by the unveiling of a commemorative plaque with a text that would be read aloud during the first moonwalk. The committee would not make any recommendations about one aspect of the mission that was increasingly invested with suspense: what Armstrong should say when taking his first step on another world. The Saturn V rocket prepares to launch Apollo 11 into space Credit: NASA Armstrong was admired for his emotional stability, lack of ego, and ability to make split-second decisions when under pressure. However, among his peers, he was one of the least compelling public speakers. He would now be placed in a situation that had already been imagined by scores of writers, filmmakers and illustrators. Esquire magazine commissioned a cover story that asked, ‘What words should the first man on the moon utter that will ring through the ages?’ When questioned about it in early July, Armstrong grinned and merely said he hadn’t given [the words] any consideration. In fact, one story indicates that, contrary to what he attested, he did do some advance preparation. Armstrong’s brother, Dean, recalls that during a lull in a board game they were playing a few weeks before the launch, Neil handed his brother a piece of paper on which he had written a few words. He didn’t explain the context, but none was necessary. Dean Armstrong sensed his brother wanted some feedback. He responded with one word: ‘Fabulous.’ Primed and ready at the Launch Control Center, Nasa Kennedy Space Center Credit: GETTY IMAGES On the morning of Wednesday 16 July 1969, a few journalists assembled near the exit door of the Kennedy Space Center’s Operations Building before sunrise to catch a glimpse of Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins as they boarded the white transport van that would drive them to the launchpad. When the trio exited the building, carrying their suitcase-size portable air-conditioning and ventilation units, they waved to the small crowd. One eyewitness compared it to ‘watching Columbus sail out of port’. An hour before launch, recognisable faces [began] arriving at the space centre. Vice President Spiro Agnew arrived with a contingent from the White House. Since on orders from the Apollo flight surgeon, President Nixon had been prevented from dining with the astronauts the evening before the launch, he remained at the White House, where he prepared to watch the TV coverage with [Apollo 8’s] Frank Borman, and made plans to greet the crew on their return. ‘We have a lift-off’: 8.32am (EST), 16 July 1969 Credit: NASA The television cameras followed the arrival of former president Lyndon Johnson and Lady Bird Johnson. The immediate suspense was heightening as the steady voice of Cape Canaveral’s veteran public-affairs announcer Jack King chronicled each moment of the countdown. ‘Twelve, eleven, ten, nine, ignition sequence start. Six, five, four, three, two, one, zero.’ Though his voice remained calm, the emotion of the moment affected King’s delivery, and he could be heard slightly stumbling his words as he said, ‘All engine run-ning.’ Quickly recovering his composure, he continued, ‘Lift-off! We have a lift-off, 32 minutes past the hour. Lift-off on Apollo 11.’ A wave of bodies rose to their feet, as everyone strained to get a better view and position their snapshot and 8mm movie cameras. Lady Bird Johnson beamed under a plastic cowboy hat. To her left, her husband watched the slow progress of the Saturn V. Former president Lyndon Johnson and Vice President Spiro Agnew watch as Apollo 11 is blasted into the sky Credit: NASA A few seconds after the billowing clouds at the base of the pad and the brilliant flame of the Saturn’s engines became visible, the observers heard a rolling and overpowering roar. With it came a buffeting concussive shock wave of pressure that could be felt through the ground and in the air pushing against their chests and eardrums. The violent controlled combustion needed to lift 6.5 million pounds away from the force of the Earth’s gravity was an unequalled engineering achievement – and remains unequalled half a century later. The spacesuit | Apollo 11 By late morning of Apollo 11’s fourth day, the crew had been in lunar orbit for nearly 24 hours. Armstrong and Aldrin had checked out all systems on the lunar module Eagle and were preparing to separate it from the Columbia module. It was 20 July. Not long after Armstrong and Aldrin in the Eagle and Collins in Columbia reported that they had successfully undocked, the two spacecraft disappeared into radio silence as their orbits took them around the moon’s far side. In Houston, those in Mission Control knew that one of three possible scenarios could play out within the next 90 minutes. The lunar module would either crash, abort the landing attempt, or successfully touch down on the lunar surface. [Nasa’s second chief flight director] Gene Kranz addressed the White House team over a private audio channel. ‘The hopes and the dreams of the entire world are with us. This is our time and our place, and we will remember this day and what we will do here always.’ Despite months of planning, the landing sequence contained hundreds of unknowns that could compromise the mission. Amid the curt audio communications peppered with technical acronyms, Armstrong and Aldrin offered few signs that revealed what they were feeling. Their voices remained alert and focused. Suddenly, in the midst of the data-filled transmissions, both Armstrong and Aldrin called attention to a computer-program alarm unknown to them. The Moon Landing (article) There was a sudden atypical urgency in Armstrong’s voice as he mentioned it and then followed with a request to Mission Control for an explanation. It was a moment of added suspense that no one had expected. Had the alarm occurred during a practise simulation on the ground, a landing abort would likely have resulted. But the first powered descent to the lunar surface 239,000 miles from home was a rather different situation. Armstrong was determined to land successfully. His instincts proved right. The alarm had been caused by an unintended information-overflow problem in the lunar module’s guidance system. Apollo 11 commander Armstrong leads the way from the Kennedy Space Center to the launchpad Credit: getty images Armstrong’s attention soon turned to a bigger concern: the available fuel for the descent engine was running low as Eagle approached the moon’s surface. He had a good idea of his height as he came in for the landing, but he needed to find a safe location. There were more large craters than he’d expected. His view of the surface was also becoming obscured as a mist of lunar-dust particles was agitated by the descent engine’s exhaust plume. Armstrong hovered above the moon’s surface while gently manoeuvring the lunar module to find the best landing spot. More than a half minute passed beyond the projected touchdown time. The descent engine’s fuel was running dangerously low, with only a few seconds of propellant remaining. In Houston there was still no word whether they had landed. ‘Contact light,’ Aldrin announced. A moment later Armstrong responded, ‘Shutdown.’ Armstrong later said he neither saw the contact light illuminate nor heard Aldrin announce it. The landing was so smooth, Armstrong couldn’t even tell the precise moment when they were on the surface. This was the climax of the mission, in Armstrong’s mind. The first step and moonwalk to come a few hours later were secondary. Then from the moon came the official word as Armstrong announced, ‘Houston, Tranquillity Base here. The Eagle has landed.’ Aldrin prepares to take his first step on the moon Credit: NASA In New York’s Central Park, a crowd had gathered to watch the moonwalk broadcast on a large screen. Unfortunately it was beginning to rain, and preparations and depressurising the lunar module’s cabin took far longer than expected. Movement inside the small cabin while wearing the stiffened pressure suits and large backpack life-support units was proving cumbersome. Rather than 9pm, it was a little after 10.30pm when the door of the lunar module was pulled inward to open. [The] spectral, shadowy images [broadcast on televisions around the world came] from a small Westinghouse television camera, which Armstrong had deployed by pulling a release mechanism as he inched feet-first out of the lunar module. Aldrin poses beside the US flag, which was reinforced with metal so it appears to fly on the windless lunar surface Credit: NASA The television camera had been added to the lander very late in its development, and only after [Nasa’s assistant administrator of public affairs] Julian Scheer had learnt that the only broadcast camera scheduled to fly to the moon was the one designed exclusively for the command module. The picture was ghostly, but Armstrong could be seen descending the ladder of the lunar module. From a position at the bottom of the lander’s footpad, Armstrong provided an initial report. ‘The surface appears to be very, very fine grained… It’s almost like a powder.’ And then, after an extended pause, Armstrong delivered the words for which he will be forever known: ‘That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’ Aldrin deploys two components of the Early Apollo Scientific Experiments Package Credit: NASA Armstrong’s training for that first step included one bizarre precaution for a wildly unlikely scenario. Some lunar scientists theorised that the moon’s surface might be combustible and that when Armstrong’s boot came into contact with the lunar soil, it could set off a reaction. Everyone thought the chances of this occurring highly remote, but to be safe Armstrong was advised to touch the heel of his boot gently upon the lunar surface when extending his initial step. After taking a few more steps and bending his knees in the suit, Armstrong reported that he was experiencing no trouble walking or moving around. His initial tasks before Aldrin joined him were to obtain a soil sample and take some photographs. After the sample was placed in a pouch attached to his leg, Armstrong took a panorama of the barren, flat landscape. He reported that he found it starkly beautiful, not unlike the high desert of California. ‘It’s different, but it’s very pretty out here.’ Aldrin’s reaction when he joined Armstrong on the lunar surface was ‘Magnificent desolation’. Earth photographed from the surface of the moon Credit: NASA The harsh sunlight was coming from an angle 14 degrees above the horizon, this being a lunar morning, which would last longer than an entire Earth day. The relatively low angle of the sun also meant the lunar surface hadn’t yet reached the maximum temperature of 127C. Armstrong and Aldrin’s first ceremonial task was to remove a protective metal cover from the memorial plaque. Scheer had drafted the initial text, but [a] White House speechwriter had insisted on adding ‘A.D.’ (Anno Domini) after ‘July 1969’ so as to subtly acknowledge God. The final plaque read: Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon July 1969, a.d. we came in peace for all mankind. When, shortly after landing on the lunar surface, Aldrin had requested that ‘every person listening in… pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way’, few were aware he was in the process of taking communion with a small bit of bread, a plastic vial of wine and a silver chalice. A second silent religious observance during the moonwalk may have occurred as well. Film-maker Theo Kamecke spoke with Neil Armstrong’s grandmother shortly after the moon landing. ‘Neil made me a promise,’ she told him. ‘He promised the first thing he would do when he stepped on the moon was to say a prayer.’ Kamecke concluded that this explained Armstrong’s unusually long pause when he stepped off the lunar module; he was saying a silent prayer ‘just between him and the universe’. Joan Aldrin, centre, applauds her husband’s arrival back to Earth as she watches TV coverage Credit: GETTY IMAGES It was estimated that when Armstrong and Aldrin unveiled the plaque, one-fifth of the world’s population – 600 million people – was watching. After mounting the small Westinghouse camera on a tripod to offer a long shot of their working area in front of the lunar module, Aldrin decided to give viewers a spontaneous demonstration. First he walked at a regular pace, then he tried a kangaroo hop; he followed that with a manoeuvre in which he moved rapidly and then attempted to change direction by countering his momentum, putting his foot out to the side and making a cutting motion, which he likened to a football player dodging down a field. Never forgetting the small television camera watching him, Aldrin made an effort to remain within the lens’s field of view. It turned out to be one of the highlights of the moonwalk. President Richard Nixon speaks on the phone to Armstrong from the White House Credit: NASA Before Armstrong and Aldrin deployed a small array of scientific instruments, there were two other ceremonial duties to perform. The first was the erection of the American flag, which had been outfitted with a simple metallic support to fully display it in the windless lunar environment. The second was a live telephone call from President Richard Nixon in the White House, [which he] described as ‘the most historic telephone call ever to be made from the White House’. ‘As you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquillity,’ Nixon said, ‘it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquillity to Earth. For one priceless moment, in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one – one in their pride in what you have done, and one in our prayers that you will return safely to Earth.’ Now all attention was focused on the lunar module’s powered ascent from the surface, a procedure that had never been attempted, even by an automated spacecraft. There existed no contingency backup should the lunar module’s ascent engine fail to operate properly. If it didn’t work, Collins would be forced to return alone. At the New York Daily News, a typesetter had already prepared a special disaster edition of the paper if the astronauts were stranded on the moon. It was a stark front page with a one-word headline: Marooned! Fortunately, Eagle’s launch countdown proceeded flawlessly. The ascent engine worked perfectly, and the subsequent rendezvous and docking with the command module in lunar orbit [were] almost routine. All that remained was leaving lunar orbit and re-entry. Eight months earlier, the idea of executing both of these procedures had been fraught with suspense. Now, compared to what had just been accomplished, they seemed business as usual. Armstrong (right), Aldrin and Collins inside the quarantine vehicle – where they stayed for 21 days Credit: GETTY IMAGES Minutes after Columbia’s successful splashdown, the trio was required to don biological isolation garments, and the men were then helicoptered [to] a specially prepared sealed living area constructed from a converted Airstream trailer. This would serve as a temporary quarantine facility until their return to Houston where they would spend the remainder of a planned 21-day period of isolation. All these precautions stemmed from the remote possibility that the astronauts could return with an unknown contagion. When Nixon finally came face-to-face with the Apollo 11 crew, they looked at one another through a small plate-glass window and relied on microphones and speakers. Standing outside the trailer, Nixon awkwardly engaged in small talk about baseball’s All-Star Game before pronouncing the recent events, ‘the greatest week in the history of the world since the creation’. Nixon was as intoxicated by the moon landing as much of the world… He invited the crew to be honoured with the largest presidential state dinner ever planned. Aldrin, Collins and Armstrong wave to the crowds from an open-top car during the New York parade Credit: GETTY IMAGES The ‘Dinner of the Century’, as the Los Angeles event a month later was nicknamed, was conceived as both a national patriotic observance and a television spectacular. Massive ticker-tape parades in New York and Chicago had greeted the astronauts [before] they flew to the West Coast for the event. A long calendar of tributes, parades, formal dinners and award ceremonies continued as the three men undertook an exhausting 37-day round-the-world ‘Giant Leap Goodwill Tour’. Apollo demonstrated to the world that not only was it possible to dream the impossible dream, but it was achievable. While the world of the late 1960s was rife with turmoil and division, a better future seemed certain. Abridged extract from Chasing the Moon: The Story of the Space Race – from Arthur C Clarke to the Moon Landings, by Robert Stone and Alan Andres (William Collins, £20). To order your copy for the discounted price of £16.99, visit books.telegraph.co.uk
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Fifty years ago, Neil Armstrong became the first person to walk on the moon. Here, Robert Stone and Alan Andres tell the story of a journey that changed the world It was a glorious New York tradition, which originated at the end of the 19th century with the dedication of the Statue of Liberty. Since then Manhattan had held more than 160 ticker-tape parades to celebrate visits from kings, queens, generals, sports heroes, explorers, and aviators. When the astronauts of Apollo 8 [the first mission to take humans to the vicinity of the moon] arrived in the city in early January 1969, there was no question: a ticker-tape parade was obligatory. More than 200 tons of confetti and scrap paper were transformed into a chaotic celebratory blizzard by the force of the bitter January winds rushing down the canyon of Sixth Avenue. [The astronauts] Frank Borman, Jim Lovell, and Bill Anders smiled and waved at the hundreds of thousands of well-wishers. When the motorcade crossed on to Broadway, [they] noticed that the avenue’s signs had been changed to read Apollo Way. At precisely the same moment, journalists were gathering in an auditorium in Houston to meet another Apollo crew. Here there were no celebrations or marching bands. Instead, Nasa was introducing the newly named crew of what was expected to be the first mission to attempt a landing on the moon – in just six months. Space fever started in early 1969 with a ticker-tape parade in New York to celebrate the Apollo 8 astronauts – the first to reach the vicinity of the moon Credit: GETTY IMAGES Unlike the Apollo 8 crew, the Apollo 11 crew – Neil Armstrong, the commander; Buzz Aldrin, the lunar-module pilot; and Michael Collins, the command-module pilot who would remain in orbit above the moon as the lunar module [known as Eagle] attempted its landing – were fairly reserved when appearing in public. A perfectionist, Armstrong personified the disciplined, conscientious test pilot. His calm, soft-spoken style was the antithesis of the macho jet-jockey stereotype. Still, Armstrong’s jet combat experience during the Korean War, while flying the experimental X-15 rocket plane [was] legendary. Ambitious and brilliant, Aldrin was a [strong] choice to serve as the lunar-module pilot. His intense personality was nearly the opposite of Armstrong’s, whose deceptive lack of ego could make him disappear in a crowd. The lift-off of Saturn V, which propelled Apollo 11 from Earth, 16 July 1969 Credit: NASA During the Houston press conference, Aldrin revealed that his late mother’s maiden name was Marion Moon. However, [he had] a sad secret. His mother’s death the previous year had been the result of an overdose of sleeping pills, and he blamed himself for her suicide. She had struggled with depression in the past, and as attention surrounding her famous son increased, so did her anxiety, which proved overwhelming. Despite their contrasting temperaments – Armstrong deceptively affectless and placid, Aldrin intense and focused – both were as competitive as the other alpha-male astronauts. The Apollo 11 astronauts: Buzz Aldrin (left), Michael Collins (top) and Neil Armstrong (right), photographed with their wives and children Credit: GETTY IMAGES From the gallery of journalists came the inevitable question: ‘Which one of you gentlemen will be the first man to step on the lunar surface?’ Aldrin had begun training for the lunar extravehicular activity and had reason to assume that, as the lunar-module pilot, he would be the first to set foot on the moon, with Armstrong following him 40 minutes later. However, when Armstrong answered the question, he revealed, uncomfortably, ‘The current plan calls for one astronaut to be on the surface for approximately three-quarters of an hour prior to the second man’s emergence. Now, which person is which has not been decided up to this point.’ Aldrin also left open the question of who would be first man. Outwardly, neither man showed much emotion about the matter. But the tension in the room did not go unnoticed. A solution arose out of practical necessity. The designers of the lunar module had placed the hinge of the square exit door on its right side. When the door opened inward, the lunar-module pilot’s movement within the spacecraft’s cramped interior was confined; only the commander, on the left side of the cabin, had sufficient room to exit. Therefore, the commander would have to exit first and reenter last. Aldrin was disappointed but professionally stoic whenever the issue was discussed. Neil Armstrong’s shadow on the surface of the moon Credit: NASA Although he received slightly less attention than his crewmates, Michael Collins [was] more socially at ease than they were. [He] possessed an observant eye and an understated wit. Collins described the Apollo 11 crew as ‘amiable strangers’, in contrast to other crews like Apollo 8, who bonded far more easily. For Collins, the unique personal challenges were of an entirely different sort. By remaining in the command module [known as Columbia] in orbit above the moon while his crewmates were on the surface, he would experience a form of solitude unknown to any [other] human being. During 47 minutes of each lunar orbit, Collins would be cut off from all communication and any sign of life. On one side of the moon would be the Earth, with its three billion inhabitants as well as Armstrong and Aldrin. On the other side would be Collins, entirely alone. Many camped out on beaches and roads close to the Kennedy Space Center before the launch Credit: NASA Apollo 11’s chosen landing site was a relatively level and smooth area in the Sea of Tranquillity, near the lunar equator. Should the moonwalk proceed as planned, the Apollo 11 crew would deploy a small array of scientific experiments, including a seismometer, a device to measure the solar wind, and an optical reflector. It was hoped the latter would aid in determining the precise distance between the Earth and moon within an accuracy of about 3cm by using a laser beam sent from an Earth observatory station. In early spring, Nasa convened a Committee on Symbolic Articles Related to the First Lunar Landing [which] resolved that nothing during the lunar landing should suggest the United States was laying claim to the moon’s sovereignty. The State Department endorsed the idea of displaying the flag of the United Nations, a proposal that was immediately rejected by the Nixon White House. As a compromise, the committee recommended that the American flag be planted in the lunar soil and that the achievement’s larger human context would be conveyed by the unveiling of a commemorative plaque with a text that would be read aloud during the first moonwalk. The committee would not make any recommendations about one aspect of the mission that was increasingly invested with suspense: what Armstrong should say when taking his first step on another world. The Saturn V rocket prepares to launch Apollo 11 into space Credit: NASA Armstrong was admired for his emotional stability, lack of ego, and ability to make split-second decisions when under pressure. However, among his peers, he was one of the least compelling public speakers. He would now be placed in a situation that had already been imagined by scores of writers, filmmakers and illustrators. Esquire magazine commissioned a cover story that asked, ‘What words should the first man on the moon utter that will ring through the ages?’ When questioned about it in early July, Armstrong grinned and merely said he hadn’t given [the words] any consideration. In fact, one story indicates that, contrary to what he attested, he did do some advance preparation. Armstrong’s brother, Dean, recalls that during a lull in a board game they were playing a few weeks before the launch, Neil handed his brother a piece of paper on which he had written a few words. He didn’t explain the context, but none was necessary. Dean Armstrong sensed his brother wanted some feedback. He responded with one word: ‘Fabulous.’ Primed and ready at the Launch Control Center, Nasa Kennedy Space Center Credit: GETTY IMAGES On the morning of Wednesday 16 July 1969, a few journalists assembled near the exit door of the Kennedy Space Center’s Operations Building before sunrise to catch a glimpse of Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins as they boarded the white transport van that would drive them to the launchpad. When the trio exited the building, carrying their suitcase-size portable air-conditioning and ventilation units, they waved to the small crowd. One eyewitness compared it to ‘watching Columbus sail out of port’. An hour before launch, recognisable faces [began] arriving at the space centre. Vice President Spiro Agnew arrived with a contingent from the White House. Since on orders from the Apollo flight surgeon, President Nixon had been prevented from dining with the astronauts the evening before the launch, he remained at the White House, where he prepared to watch the TV coverage with [Apollo 8’s] Frank Borman, and made plans to greet the crew on their return. ‘We have a lift-off’: 8.32am (EST), 16 July 1969 Credit: NASA The television cameras followed the arrival of former president Lyndon Johnson and Lady Bird Johnson. The immediate suspense was heightening as the steady voice of Cape Canaveral’s veteran public-affairs announcer Jack King chronicled each moment of the countdown. ‘Twelve, eleven, ten, nine, ignition sequence start. Six, five, four, three, two, one, zero.’ Though his voice remained calm, the emotion of the moment affected King’s delivery, and he could be heard slightly stumbling his words as he said, ‘All engine run-ning.’ Quickly recovering his composure, he continued, ‘Lift-off! We have a lift-off, 32 minutes past the hour. Lift-off on Apollo 11.’ A wave of bodies rose to their feet, as everyone strained to get a better view and position their snapshot and 8mm movie cameras. Lady Bird Johnson beamed under a plastic cowboy hat. To her left, her husband watched the slow progress of the Saturn V. Former president Lyndon Johnson and Vice President Spiro Agnew watch as Apollo 11 is blasted into the sky Credit: NASA A few seconds after the billowing clouds at the base of the pad and the brilliant flame of the Saturn’s engines became visible, the observers heard a rolling and overpowering roar. With it came a buffeting concussive shock wave of pressure that could be felt through the ground and in the air pushing against their chests and eardrums. The violent controlled combustion needed to lift 6.5 million pounds away from the force of the Earth’s gravity was an unequalled engineering achievement – and remains unequalled half a century later. The spacesuit | Apollo 11 By late morning of Apollo 11’s fourth day, the crew had been in lunar orbit for nearly 24 hours. Armstrong and Aldrin had checked out all systems on the lunar module Eagle and were preparing to separate it from the Columbia module. It was 20 July. Not long after Armstrong and Aldrin in the Eagle and Collins in Columbia reported that they had successfully undocked, the two spacecraft disappeared into radio silence as their orbits took them around the moon’s far side. In Houston, those in Mission Control knew that one of three possible scenarios could play out within the next 90 minutes. The lunar module would either crash, abort the landing attempt, or successfully touch down on the lunar surface. [Nasa’s second chief flight director] Gene Kranz addressed the White House team over a private audio channel. ‘The hopes and the dreams of the entire world are with us. This is our time and our place, and we will remember this day and what we will do here always.’ Despite months of planning, the landing sequence contained hundreds of unknowns that could compromise the mission. Amid the curt audio communications peppered with technical acronyms, Armstrong and Aldrin offered few signs that revealed what they were feeling. Their voices remained alert and focused. Suddenly, in the midst of the data-filled transmissions, both Armstrong and Aldrin called attention to a computer-program alarm unknown to them. The Moon Landing (article) There was a sudden atypical urgency in Armstrong’s voice as he mentioned it and then followed with a request to Mission Control for an explanation. It was a moment of added suspense that no one had expected. Had the alarm occurred during a practise simulation on the ground, a landing abort would likely have resulted. But the first powered descent to the lunar surface 239,000 miles from home was a rather different situation. Armstrong was determined to land successfully. His instincts proved right. The alarm had been caused by an unintended information-overflow problem in the lunar module’s guidance system. Apollo 11 commander Armstrong leads the way from the Kennedy Space Center to the launchpad Credit: getty images Armstrong’s attention soon turned to a bigger concern: the available fuel for the descent engine was running low as Eagle approached the moon’s surface. He had a good idea of his height as he came in for the landing, but he needed to find a safe location. There were more large craters than he’d expected. His view of the surface was also becoming obscured as a mist of lunar-dust particles was agitated by the descent engine’s exhaust plume. Armstrong hovered above the moon’s surface while gently manoeuvring the lunar module to find the best landing spot. More than a half minute passed beyond the projected touchdown time. The descent engine’s fuel was running dangerously low, with only a few seconds of propellant remaining. In Houston there was still no word whether they had landed. ‘Contact light,’ Aldrin announced. A moment later Armstrong responded, ‘Shutdown.’ Armstrong later said he neither saw the contact light illuminate nor heard Aldrin announce it. The landing was so smooth, Armstrong couldn’t even tell the precise moment when they were on the surface. This was the climax of the mission, in Armstrong’s mind. The first step and moonwalk to come a few hours later were secondary. Then from the moon came the official word as Armstrong announced, ‘Houston, Tranquillity Base here. The Eagle has landed.’ Aldrin prepares to take his first step on the moon Credit: NASA In New York’s Central Park, a crowd had gathered to watch the moonwalk broadcast on a large screen. Unfortunately it was beginning to rain, and preparations and depressurising the lunar module’s cabin took far longer than expected. Movement inside the small cabin while wearing the stiffened pressure suits and large backpack life-support units was proving cumbersome. Rather than 9pm, it was a little after 10.30pm when the door of the lunar module was pulled inward to open. [The] spectral, shadowy images [broadcast on televisions around the world came] from a small Westinghouse television camera, which Armstrong had deployed by pulling a release mechanism as he inched feet-first out of the lunar module. Aldrin poses beside the US flag, which was reinforced with metal so it appears to fly on the windless lunar surface Credit: NASA The television camera had been added to the lander very late in its development, and only after [Nasa’s assistant administrator of public affairs] Julian Scheer had learnt that the only broadcast camera scheduled to fly to the moon was the one designed exclusively for the command module. The picture was ghostly, but Armstrong could be seen descending the ladder of the lunar module. From a position at the bottom of the lander’s footpad, Armstrong provided an initial report. ‘The surface appears to be very, very fine grained… It’s almost like a powder.’ And then, after an extended pause, Armstrong delivered the words for which he will be forever known: ‘That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’ Aldrin deploys two components of the Early Apollo Scientific Experiments Package Credit: NASA Armstrong’s training for that first step included one bizarre precaution for a wildly unlikely scenario. Some lunar scientists theorised that the moon’s surface might be combustible and that when Armstrong’s boot came into contact with the lunar soil, it could set off a reaction. Everyone thought the chances of this occurring highly remote, but to be safe Armstrong was advised to touch the heel of his boot gently upon the lunar surface when extending his initial step. After taking a few more steps and bending his knees in the suit, Armstrong reported that he was experiencing no trouble walking or moving around. His initial tasks before Aldrin joined him were to obtain a soil sample and take some photographs. After the sample was placed in a pouch attached to his leg, Armstrong took a panorama of the barren, flat landscape. He reported that he found it starkly beautiful, not unlike the high desert of California. ‘It’s different, but it’s very pretty out here.’ Aldrin’s reaction when he joined Armstrong on the lunar surface was ‘Magnificent desolation’. Earth photographed from the surface of the moon Credit: NASA The harsh sunlight was coming from an angle 14 degrees above the horizon, this being a lunar morning, which would last longer than an entire Earth day. The relatively low angle of the sun also meant the lunar surface hadn’t yet reached the maximum temperature of 127C. Armstrong and Aldrin’s first ceremonial task was to remove a protective metal cover from the memorial plaque. Scheer had drafted the initial text, but [a] White House speechwriter had insisted on adding ‘A.D.’ (Anno Domini) after ‘July 1969’ so as to subtly acknowledge God. The final plaque read: Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon July 1969, a.d. we came in peace for all mankind. When, shortly after landing on the lunar surface, Aldrin had requested that ‘every person listening in… pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way’, few were aware he was in the process of taking communion with a small bit of bread, a plastic vial of wine and a silver chalice. A second silent religious observance during the moonwalk may have occurred as well. Film-maker Theo Kamecke spoke with Neil Armstrong’s grandmother shortly after the moon landing. ‘Neil made me a promise,’ she told him. ‘He promised the first thing he would do when he stepped on the moon was to say a prayer.’ Kamecke concluded that this explained Armstrong’s unusually long pause when he stepped off the lunar module; he was saying a silent prayer ‘just between him and the universe’. Joan Aldrin, centre, applauds her husband’s arrival back to Earth as she watches TV coverage Credit: GETTY IMAGES It was estimated that when Armstrong and Aldrin unveiled the plaque, one-fifth of the world’s population – 600 million people – was watching. After mounting the small Westinghouse camera on a tripod to offer a long shot of their working area in front of the lunar module, Aldrin decided to give viewers a spontaneous demonstration. First he walked at a regular pace, then he tried a kangaroo hop; he followed that with a manoeuvre in which he moved rapidly and then attempted to change direction by countering his momentum, putting his foot out to the side and making a cutting motion, which he likened to a football player dodging down a field. Never forgetting the small television camera watching him, Aldrin made an effort to remain within the lens’s field of view. It turned out to be one of the highlights of the moonwalk. President Richard Nixon speaks on the phone to Armstrong from the White House Credit: NASA Before Armstrong and Aldrin deployed a small array of scientific instruments, there were two other ceremonial duties to perform. The first was the erection of the American flag, which had been outfitted with a simple metallic support to fully display it in the windless lunar environment. The second was a live telephone call from President Richard Nixon in the White House, [which he] described as ‘the most historic telephone call ever to be made from the White House’. ‘As you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquillity,’ Nixon said, ‘it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquillity to Earth. For one priceless moment, in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one – one in their pride in what you have done, and one in our prayers that you will return safely to Earth.’ Now all attention was focused on the lunar module’s powered ascent from the surface, a procedure that had never been attempted, even by an automated spacecraft. There existed no contingency backup should the lunar module’s ascent engine fail to operate properly. If it didn’t work, Collins would be forced to return alone. At the New York Daily News, a typesetter had already prepared a special disaster edition of the paper if the astronauts were stranded on the moon. It was a stark front page with a one-word headline: Marooned! Fortunately, Eagle’s launch countdown proceeded flawlessly. The ascent engine worked perfectly, and the subsequent rendezvous and docking with the command module in lunar orbit [were] almost routine. All that remained was leaving lunar orbit and re-entry. Eight months earlier, the idea of executing both of these procedures had been fraught with suspense. Now, compared to what had just been accomplished, they seemed business as usual. Armstrong (right), Aldrin and Collins inside the quarantine vehicle – where they stayed for 21 days Credit: GETTY IMAGES Minutes after Columbia’s successful splashdown, the trio was required to don biological isolation garments, and the men were then helicoptered [to] a specially prepared sealed living area constructed from a converted Airstream trailer. This would serve as a temporary quarantine facility until their return to Houston where they would spend the remainder of a planned 21-day period of isolation. All these precautions stemmed from the remote possibility that the astronauts could return with an unknown contagion. When Nixon finally came face-to-face with the Apollo 11 crew, they looked at one another through a small plate-glass window and relied on microphones and speakers. Standing outside the trailer, Nixon awkwardly engaged in small talk about baseball’s All-Star Game before pronouncing the recent events, ‘the greatest week in the history of the world since the creation’. Nixon was as intoxicated by the moon landing as much of the world… He invited the crew to be honoured with the largest presidential state dinner ever planned. Aldrin, Collins and Armstrong wave to the crowds from an open-top car during the New York parade Credit: GETTY IMAGES The ‘Dinner of the Century’, as the Los Angeles event a month later was nicknamed, was conceived as both a national patriotic observance and a television spectacular. Massive ticker-tape parades in New York and Chicago had greeted the astronauts [before] they flew to the West Coast for the event. A long calendar of tributes, parades, formal dinners and award ceremonies continued as the three men undertook an exhausting 37-day round-the-world ‘Giant Leap Goodwill Tour’. Apollo demonstrated to the world that not only was it possible to dream the impossible dream, but it was achievable. While the world of the late 1960s was rife with turmoil and division, a better future seemed certain. Abridged extract from Chasing the Moon: The Story of the Space Race – from Arthur C Clarke to the Moon Landings, by Robert Stone and Alan Andres (William Collins, £20). To order your copy for the discounted price of £16.99, visit books.telegraph.co.uk
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100 BULLETS TP VOL 05 THE COUNTERFIFTH DETECTIVE ANGEL SEASON 6 TP VOL 02 ASTRO BOY OMNIBUS TP VOL 01 AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER RIFT LIBRARY ED HC AVENGERS TP VOL 01 AVENGERS WORLD BATMAN & ROBIN TP VOL 04 REQUIEM FOR DAMIAN BATMAN DETECTIVE COMICS TP VOL 04 THE WRATH (N52) BATMAN THE DARK PRINCE CHARMING HC BOOK 01 BATMAN THE MAN WHO LAUGHS TP BATMAN TP VOL 02 THE CITY OF OWLS (N52) BATMAN TP VOL 03 DEATH OF THE FAMILY (N52) BATMAN TP VOL 08 SUPERHEAVY BETTY & VERONICA GIRLS RULE TP BIRTHRIGHT TP VOL 02 BIRTHRIGHT TP VOL 03 BLACK LAGOON GN VOL 01 (MR) BLACK ROAD TP VOL 02 A PAGAN DEATH (MR) BUFFY VAMPIRE SLAYER OMNIBUS SEASON 8 TP VOL 01 BUNKER TP VOL 03 CONAN OMNIBUS TP VOL 01 BIRTH OF LEGEND CONAN OMNIBUS TP VOL 02 CITY OF THIEVES CRIMINAL TP VOL 01 COWARD (MR) CROW SPECIAL ED TP NEW PTG (MR) DC COMICS DARK HORSE ALIENS TP DC SUPER HERO GIRLS TP VOL 01 FINALS CRISIS DEADPOOL BY POSEHN AND DUGGAN HC VOL 01 DEADPOOL TP VOL 02 DARK REIGN DEADPOOL VS CARNAGE TP DEADPOOL VS THANOS TP DEATH MARCH PARALLEL WORLD RHAPSODY GN VOL 03 DEATHSTROKE TP VOL 01 LEGACY (N52) DEATHSTROKE TP VOL 02 LOBO HUNT (N52) DELICIOUS IN DUNGEON GN VOL 01 DESCENDER TP VOL 01 TIN STARS (MR) DESCENDER TP VOL 02 (MR) EX MACHINA TP BOOK 02 (MR) FABLES TP VOL 01 LEGENDS IN EXILE NEW ED (MR) FABLES TP VOL 02 ANIMAL FARM FABLES TP VOL 03 STORYBOOK LOVE (MR) FREEZING OMNIBUS GN VOL 01 (MR) GOLDIE VANCE TP VOL 01 HARROW COUNTY TP VOL 06 HEDGE MAGIC HELLBOY TP VOL 01 SEED OF DESTRUCTION (NEW PTG) HOW TO RAISE BORING GIRLFRIEND GN VOL 01 I AM A HERO OMNIBUS TP VOL 01 INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US YEAR FIVE TP VOL 02 INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US YEAR FOUR TP VOL 01 INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US YEAR FOUR TP VOL 02 JOKER ENDGAME TP JUSTICE LEAGUE TP VOL 03 THRONE OF ATLANTIS (N52) KILL OR BE KILLED TP VOL 02 (MR) LORD MARKSMAN & VANADIS GN VOL 05 LOW TP VOL 01 THE DELIRIUM OF HOPE (MR) LOW TP VOL 04 OUTER ASPECTS OF INNER ATTITUDES (MR) LUMBERJANES TP VOL 04 LUMBERJANES TP VOL 06 MIDNIGHTER TP VOL 02 HARD MISS KOBAYASHIS DRAGON MAID GN VOL 01 MONSTRESS TP VOL 02 (MR) NARUTO GN VOL 36 PAPER GIRLS TP VOL 01 PAPER GIRLS TP VOL 02 PREACHER TP BOOK 05 (MR) RAT QUEENS TP VOL 01 SASS & SORCERY (MR) RAT QUEENS TP VOL 02 FAR REACHING TENTACLES OF NRYGOTH RAT QUEENS TP VOL 03 DEMONS (MR) RICK & MORTY TP VOL 01 ROAD TO RIVERDALE TP VOL 03 SAGA TP VOL 01 (MR) SAGA TP VOL 02 (MR) SAGA TP VOL 03 (MR) SAGA TP VOL 04 (MR) SAGA TP VOL 07 (MR) SANDMAN TP VOL 01 PRELUDES & NOCTURNES NEW ED (MR) SANDMAN TP VOL 04 SEASON OF MISTS NEW ED (MR) SANDMAN TP VOL 05 A GAME OF YOU NEW ED (MR) SCOTT PILGRIM COLOR HC VOL 02 (OF 6) SEVEN TO ETERNITY TP VOL 01 SEVEN TO ETERNITY TP VOL 02 (MR) SPIDER-MAN MILES MORALES TP VOL 01 STAR WARS HAN SOLO TP STAR WARS TP VOL 01 SKYWALKER STRIKES STAR WARS TP VOL 02 SHOWDOWN ON THE SMUGGLERS MOON STAR WARS TP VOL 03 REBEL JAIL SUPER SONS TP VOL 01 WHEN I GROW UP (REBIRTH) SUPERMAN EARTH ONE TP VOL 03 TESTAMENT OF SISTER NEW DEVIL GN VOL 01 TESTAMENT OF SISTER NEW DEVIL GN VOL 03 THERES A DEMON LORD ON FLOOR GN VOL 01 USAGI YOJIMBO SAGA TP VOL 01 USAGI YOJIMBO SAGA TP VOL 03 V FOR VENDETTA NEW EDITION TP (MR) WALKING DEAD HC VOL 09 (MR) WALKING DEAD HC VOL 13 (MR) WALKING DEAD TP VOL 02 MILES BEHIND US (NEW PTG) WALKING DEAD TP VOL 04 HEARTS DESIRE WALKING DEAD TP VOL 05 BEST DEFENSE (NEW PTG) WALKING DEAD TP VOL 27 WHISPERER WAR WAYWARD TP VOL 04 THREADS & PORTENTS (MR) WICKED & DIVINE TP VOL 02 FANDEMONIUM (MR) WICKED & DIVINE TP VOL 03 (MR) WITCHFINDER TP VOL 02 LOST AND GONE FOREVER WOLVERINE OLD MAN LOGAN TP VOL 05 PAST LIVES WONDER WOMAN TP VOL 03 THE TRUTH (REBIRTH) Y THE LAST MAN TP BOOK 01 (MR) Y THE LAST MAN TP BOOK 02 (MR)
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Hera: Do you ever stop to think before you act, Zeus? Zeus: Sure. Hera: And? Zeus: And then I decide it’s more fun not to.
#incorrect quotes#funny#humor#jokes#memes#hilarious#hahaha#greek mythology#greek gods#greek gods incorrect quotes#greek mythology incorrect quotes#ancient aesthetic#olympian shenanigans#zeus being zeus#hades#persephone#hades and persephone#modern mythology#lore olympus#webtoon#webtoon fandom#lore olympus fandom#dysfunctional pantheon#Apollo's Ego Chronicles#Athena’s Eye Rolls#Poseidon’s Tsunami of Sarcasm
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Apollo: The sun revolves around me! Artemis: You literally drive it. That’s your job. Calm down.
#incorrect quotes#funny#humor#jokes#memes#hilarious#hahaha#greek mythology#greek gods#greek gods incorrect quotes#greek mythology incorrect quotes#ancient aesthetic#olympian shenanigans#zeus being zeus#hades#persephone#hades and persephone#modern mythology#lore olympus#webtoon#webtoon fandom#lore olympus fandom#dysfunctional pantheon#Apollo's Ego Chronicles#Athena’s Eye Rolls#Poseidon’s Tsunami of Sarcasm
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