#Apartments Near University Of New Hampshire

[lodgesatwestedges]

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[lovegalor333]

fresh start

part one (chapters 1-3) story info • next part

word count: 6.1k

content warnings: mentions of homophobia and depression

Lily

Transferring to University of Connecticut in my junior year was my final lifeline.

No one has actually verbalised that but it was an unspoken understanding.

Everyone in my life, back home in Boston knew that coming to UConn was a fresh start for me and a second opportunity at life.

I started my college career at UMass in my home state of Massachusetts. Going to college was just another thing on my list to tick off to pacify my family. Unlike my high school peers, I never aspired to go to college, in fact I didn't think I'd be alive by the time it came around.

"You must be Lily!" A sweet voice pulled me from my inner monologue as I stood in my new bedroom, boxes surrounding me.

"Yes!" I spun around to see a brown haired, brown eyed girl stood in my doorway. I flashed her my biggest, bravest smile.

Fake it till you make it.

"I'm Kelsey." She introduced herself coming closer.

Being a junior, I opted to live in an apartment for my time here at UConn. Four people, four bedrooms. That way I had my own space but still the option to mingle in our shared living room and kitchen. I knew I was sharing with three other girls as there was a paper with all our names listed on the table when I entered the apartment a few hours ago.

Kelsey

Madison

Hannah

and me, Lily.

"Nice to meet you." I say and Kelsey hugs me tight, its a warm hug and I can tell its not just a pleasantry, Kelsey feels kind and that relaxes me immediately.

"Looks like we're the first to arrive, how long have you been here?" She asks looking around at the numerous open boxes with my possessions spilling out of them.

"A few hours - how about you?" I bounce the question back to my new roommate.

"Oh I got here last night. Just took a walk around to familiarise myself. I lived on the complete other-side of campus last year but wanted to upgrade for my junior and senior year." She explained.

"I expect a tour at some point then." I joke but Kelsey nods enthusiastically, "Of course! Did you live off campus last year?"

"No. Well, yes - I lived in a whole different state. I just transferred from UMass." I tell her.

I decide to keep my explanation of why I transferred clean and concise.

Massachusetts was not for me.

I was born and raised there and needed something new. I'm not ashamed of my life and what has happened, I'm just very aware that not everyone needs to know everything about me.

Not yet anyway.

And besides, this is supposed to be a fresh start and how can there be any truth in that if I spend my time talking about the past.

Kelsey stayed in my room for the next few hours and helped me unpack the majority of my stuff. Things were starting to look normal rather than like a bomb had just exploded, I was thankful for the help.

I learned a lot about Kelsey in the time we spent filling my wardrobe and organising my dresser. She was studying Education as she wanted to be a preschool teacher. She was also from New England - New Hampshire to be precise (East Coast girlies unite). She was a party girl and insisted on showing me the bars near-by. She was newly single and was making it her junior year goal to stay that way.

Me too. But I didn't mention that.

Her favourite colour was red which looking at her now, was obvious. She sported a red baby tee and had her nails painted the exact same shade. She couldn't function without a morning coffee.

Me too. I did mention that.

I liked Kelsey a lot.

"So Kinesiology..." She started mentioning my choice of major.

"Yes - it was kind of a last minute decision. I love sport, especially soccer and I knew I needed to study something that I could relate to a hobby or I would have lost interest." I laughed.

"Do you play soccer?" I shook my head immediately, "God no. I have absolutely no athletic ability I just love watching it." I say as we sit on my bed side by side, backs against the wall.

Watching soccer, whether it be on TV or in real life was the only time my brain truly shut off. I was too focused on where the ball was, who it was being passed to, how well the pass was being executed and if the net would ripple at the end of a well thought out play to focus on anything else.

"I suppose ninety minutes of tight kits and sweaty bodies isn't a bad view." Kelsey giggled and I couldn't argue.

"Do you watch or play any sports?" I turn my body to Kelsey slightly giving her my attention, I preferred talking about others.

"Definitely don't play. As for watching, I make myself present if theres a big tournament on, usually at the bar mind you." She points a finger at me matter of factly.

"But enough about me. I feel like I've told you my life story and all I know about you is you're a Bostonian who loves soccer. Tell me something fun! Are you dating anyone? What's your type?" She asks eyebrows wiggling at me.

I contemplate my answer carefully not knowing how to broach the subject. Kelsey makes me feel like I can trust her but in reality I've known her less than 12 hours so don't actually know her. I remind myself why I'm here: to start afresh. I decide to be honest, I spent way too long hiding who I really was.

"I'm not dating anyone." I confess, the words feeling foreign even though its the truth. "My last relationship didn't end so well. In fact, it almost ended me." I quip making light of a not so light time in my life not so long ago. "Oh no, I'm sorry Lily. I'll kill the guy if I ever meet him." She says seriously, hands balled into fist as if she's a boxer preparing to go into the ring.

Here goes nothing.

"The girl." I say correcting her. "You'll kill the girl if you ever meet her." I stay silent trying to read Kelseys reaction to the fact that I'm gay. Living in America you never know what to expect when you reveal something like that, I just hoped mine and Kelseys newfound friendship wasn't about to come to a premature end.

"I have no problem beating a bitch up." The brunette says flicking her hair off her shoulder. I breathe a sigh of relief, the revelation doesn't seem to have bothered her in the slightest. "My sisters lesbian and I've heard enough stories to know girls are just as bad a guys. Maybe you should join the sisterhood of single juniors." She says, raising an eyebrow putting her hand between us for me to place mine on top and join the unofficial club. I hesitate because deep down I'm a lover girl and despite my heart being in a million pieces right now I know I want to love again.

"Hey, there's no contract. You can leave at anytime and theres no rules that say we can't have fun." Kelsey playfully reassures sensing my hesitation so I place my hand on top of hers, "Single sisters!" We both giggle, Kelsey leaning her body into mine so our shoulders are touching.

This feels like the perfect start to my life in Connecticut.

I left Boston broken. Brokenhearted and mentally in pieces.

My once big friendship group had dwindled down to one best friend. My ever growing confidence had come to a halt and years of therapy was thrown down the drain.

My Sophomore year was turbulent at best, coming to terms with my sexuality was a journey and then being outed was crushing and too much for me to handle. Managing my emotions has always been a problem of mine, I feel everything or I feel nothing. Both ends of the spectrum can be scary and dangerous and I did stupid things and made an almost irreversible decision.

UConn and Kelsey feels like the light at the end of the tunnel.

Madison and Hannah showed up at some point that evening. The girls had been roommates their Freshman and Sophomore year so already knew each other well. Kelsey and I introduced ourselves and we decided as a group, pizza for dinner was the best way to spend our first night together. We spoke and ate in the living area of our apartment until tiredness took over us one by one.

As I lay in my new bed in my new room I think of the days and weeks to come. I want to start off the best I can, give myself the best opportunity to love life again. Starting tomorrow, my goal was to find a student job on campus. Classes would take up most of my time but I needed pretty much all of my time filled, that way my mind wouldn't stray. I also wanted to scope out the sports. UConn was known for their amazing athletics program and I couldn't wait to be watching games again.

Oh and of course Kelsey wants to go to a bar tomorrow night, Hannah and Madison too so I close my eyes preparing for a busy day ahead, the melatonin I'd taken kicking in.

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My first day in Storrs as a student at UConn was going better than expected.

Kelsey had showed me her favourite coffee place and it had lived up to her hype. I got my usual order of an iced caramel latte with soya milk. I had unintentionally made myself lactose intolerant after being vegan for a few years. I was no longer vegan but dairy refused to be introduced back into my diet. While we sipped our drinks she gave me the grand tour of campus and then Downtown Storrs. It reminded me a lot of Boston which was bittersweet but I focused on the sweet.

"And that," She says pointing to one of the buildings with a huge Huskies sign, "is the infamous Huskies! The best bar around...well, the only bar around but never-mind. That's where we're going tonight." My roommate tells me and does a little dance which makes me laugh.

We finished our coffees on the walk back to campus and Kelsey dropped me off at the Athletics building where I was going to enquire about a student job. I had checked online and there were a few available, I just had to apply. I figured showing my face would make me stand out compared to the many applicants I'm sure admissions would have to choose from. It also gave me an opportunity to check the team rosters and schedule. I became friends with a lot of the student athletes at UMass because I went to so many games, it made me wonder if that would be the case here at UConn.

Walking into the building, it was obvious there was a gym inside I could hear what I assumed to be people working out. Music blasted through speakers though it was muffled by the closed doors and the clanging of weights dropping further verified my assumption.

The doors were closed as I walked passed what I now know is the weight room from the sign outside. My curiosity tempted me to peek inside the room as I heard a cacophony of voices, girls voices for sure.

I was stopped in my tracks, "Hi, can I help you?" The voice came from an older woman, I looked to her and smiled, "Yes please. I'm looking for the main office, here to enquire about a student job this semester." I explained.

"Oh wonderful - follow me, I'm Janet. Head of admissions for the Athletic Department."

I followed Janet down a few corridors and up a set of stairs before reaching the office. The walls along the way all adorned with various UConn teams holding trophies and medals covered in confetti. It was clear they were no strangers to winning here.

"So we have a few positions on offer is semester. I suppose it depends on what kind of role you're looking for." Janet says sitting behind her desk and inviting me to sit facing her.

"I'm studying Kinesiology so I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to work within the Athletics department at all. I'd be happy with anything." I say and truly mean it.

"What is your schedule like?" Janet asks.

"My classes are most days until 4 or 5pm. Wednesday's are completely free as are evenings and weekends." I tell her.

"Hm OK, we have a position here for a Communications Intern. You'll be assisting with post and pre game press conferences and social media posts. You'll be at most home games on the sidelines, taking notes for our journalists to write in articles and pictures to post on our socials - nothing professional of course, we have photographers for that but the fans like to see some behind the scenes on game days." Janet reads off her screen before looking up at me with a raised brow, "How does that sound?"

"That sounds great!" I replied enthusiastically, "As a fan of sports myself, hopefully I can show game days from a new angle."

"Amazing! Our womens teams are gaining a lot more traction, not just on campus so I'm positive fans who can't make it to games in person will be grateful." Janet smiles, typing a few words then standing from her desk. "I've put your name down - at the top of the list in bold - it's always nice when applicants come and see us face to face." I smile to myself knowing that would be the case.

"Thank you for making time to see me." I say to Janet, shaking her extended hand before she leads me out of the office. "My pleasure."

Outside of Janets office is a huge ceiling to floor window with a perfect overview of the gym below. I was correct earlier, there are people working out and it is girls. I stop momentarily to take in the view below me, my mind automatically goes to my major and I wonder what paths these girls are on. Are any of them injured or coming back from injury? I'm immediately intrigued as I watch them perform different exercises.

"Those are our basketball girls." Janet breaks my daydream. "I suspect you'll be working with them a lot this semester."

I turn to her my eyes slightly widened, does that mean I've secured the job?

"If your application is successful of course." She smirks but its a knowing smirk that puts me at ease.

"Oh, and thats Kayla." She points out a specific girl in the gym, dressed differently from the others and considerably shorter so I immediately assume she's not on the team. "She works here in the main office with me. She's a great girl to know, I'll introduce you."

I follow Janet back down the stairs and through the same corridors we took less than thirty minutes ago. This time I take more care as I look at the pictures on the walls, the basketball team seem to take up the majority. I spot names like Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi which I am familiar with but not too much, in all honesty I've never watched a full game of basketball in my life. As we get closer to the end of the corridor where the pictures get more recent I notice one girl in particular, a blonde, she seems to always be in the middle of group photos, her teammates looking at her with admiration. Her smile contagious, making me smile as if I'm in the picture myself.

"Prepare yourself." Janet laughs as we approach the weight room door. "What for?" I ask now not so curious about going inside as I was earlier. "They're a lively lot." Is all she says before pushing open the door.

I take a sharp inhale, anxiety creeping in as I follow Janet into the room of athletes.

Every single one of my senses was hit walking into the weight room. The noises that were once muffled by the closed doors were now loud and clear. The room was significantly colder than the rest of the building for obvious reasons but I wrapped my arms around myself nonetheless. Thanks to my deep inhale on walking in, I was only now getting a waft of what smelt like a mix of sweat and fruit. I say a silent prayer that its the girls in here because I know for a fact it would be sweat mixed with more sweat if it was the boys. My eyes scanned the room quickly taking in what I just seen from above. I recognised some of the girls from the photos on the walls, not the blonde though. She wasn't here. Maybe she was a senior and had graduated already, a shame if that is the case.

"Hello ladies." Janet calls over the booming music. One by one the girls turn their attention to us and smile or wave and I return the pleasantries.

"A new commit?" I hear a voice behind me ask before feeling a hand press down on each of my shoulders. I unconsciously tense at the surprise contact.

"No, no. This is Lily - a junior here. She just applied for a job in the department so I'm showing her around." Janet explains and the girl that just had her hands on my shoulders walks in front of me revealing herself.

"Oh damn my bad, I got excited for a second." She laughed a little embarrassed, "I'm KK, nice to meet you." The girl introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you, KK." I smile at the basketball player and she goes to join the rest of girls who are now teasing her for basically jumping on my back. I didn't mind, it just caught me off guard. Besides, I'd rather these girls be overly friendly than cold and moody especially if I'll be working with them soon.

"I'm Paige." A slender hand extends itself to me, coming from the same direction KK came from. I take the hand in mine before looking to see who exactly 'Paige' was. "Hi-" my words get lodged in my throat.

There she was.

The girl from the photos. The blonde with the contagious smile and, I'm now realising, extremely blue eyes like the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

I compose myself quickly, "Hi Paige, I'm Lily." I manage without stuttering as I shake the girls hand before letting go, somewhat reluctantly.

Her hand was bigger than mine and it was warm pressed against my palm, my hand tingled where her touch just was.

"What's your major?" She asks and she seems genuinely interested.

"Kinesiology." I reply, turning my full attention to Paige, my back now to Janet.

"Interesting! You'll get along perfect here, lots of bad knees." She says lifting her leg showing off a nasty scar before tapping me on the shoulder and joining KK and the others.

"Lily hasn't got the job yet, Paige." Janet called after the girl who turned around, "You know what to do Jan!" She called back with a grin.

The girls giggled as she joined them and she playfully shoved one of them away. I couldn't hear their hushed words over the music but the way Paige glanced back at me, making direct eye contact, made me think it was about me or maybe I was just delusional hoping the pretty girl was in fact talking about me. I quickly averted my gaze.

The type of scar and placement on Paige's knee made me assume she had suffered an ACL tear. Tough, if I was correct. ACLs are a horrible injury to face but I can tell by the way she squats with a barbell rested on her shoulders, her form perfect, posture just right that it was healed. Suddenly my gaze was no longer diverted and I was just staring.

Janet introduced me to Kayla and we spoke for a few minutes, mainly about Kayla's role and how excited she would be if I joined the team as, and I quote, "The Athletics Department needed more girls behind the scenes."

We left the weight room together, Janet bidding us farewell at the door and Kayla and I walking to the exit of the building side by side.

"Welcome to UConn, by the way. I'm guessing you transferred here? I haven't seen you around before." Kayla says to me.

"Thank you! Yes, I just transferred from Massachusetts. So far, so good." I smile as we step outside into the warm August weather.

"It really is great here. Give me your number and we'll meet up, I know you just met Paige and KK but I'll introduce you to the others as well." She says pulling her phone from her back pocket and handing it to me.

I type my number in her phone saving my contact as Lily Kent - my full name. "That will be fun, thank you. I only know my roommates at the moment so I appreciate it." I hand Kayla back her phone.

"Thats the perks of working in sports, you make whole teams of friends." She says proudly.

"I need as many as I can get, it's kinda scary being the new girl. Maybe I'll meet some more tonight, we're going to a bar." I tell my, hopefully, new friend.

"Not the famous Huskies?" Kayla asks sending me a quizzical look. "Yes! The famous Huskies." I laugh, seems like this place has quite the reputation. "Perfect! We'll see you there then."

"We'll"? We all? As in possibly Paige? Suddenly I need to go back to the apartment take an everything shower, beat the hell out of my face and put together the best outfit I own.

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I wrapped myself in my robe and stepped out of the bathroom. All three of my roommates were in the living area of our apartment. "Hey guys!" I chirped, strolling into my room.

"Hey Lils, what are you wearing tonight?" Hannah asked following me into my bedroom. I looked back at her and we both glanced around my room and laughed.

Before taking a shower I attempted to choose an outfit which had resulted in me tearing my wardrobe apart, clothes now covering the majority of my bed and floor.

"Ok girl, never fear - Hannah is here." Hannah reassured sitting slap bang in the middle of the floor reaching for random items of clothing. "It's definitely a casual vibe but also our first night out. Not all students are back on campus yet but the athletes are so arguably thats even more of a reason to look good." She side eyed me from her place on the floor.

Could Hannah read my mind?

I hadn't mentioned my interaction or reaction to Paige to any of my roommates yet. Mainly because I had made a pact with Kelsey to stay single - not that Paige was in anyway trying to make me her girlfriend but also because I knew we'd probably see her tonight and three tipsy girls around their friends crush well, it wouldn't stay a secret lets just say that.

I also deep down knew that it was probably way too soon for me to even be thinking about another relationship but I can admire from afar right?

I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost two years before it finally ended in May, three months ago. 21 out of the 22 months we dated, we kept our relationship a secret from pretty much everyone. My best friend, Emma knew but that was it. That was the way we both wanted it, neither of us were out and we enjoyed sneaking around and having a genuinely private, private life.

That was until April when I accidentally left my phone in the library and it was found by someone who I thought was my friend. I stupidly had a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing as my lock screen. My phone was returned to me and everyone acted normal, I thought they hadn't noticed. Until that night, a picture of my lock screen was posted into our group chat and all hell broke loose. I felt physically sick at the words used to describe me and my girlfriend.

I was told I was sick, I needed help, I needed to find God and repent. I was told I was better off dead. It all very quickly became too much and I removed myself from the group chat and hoped to avoid the girls that were a part of it.

Unfortunately, there was no avoiding one another when your families knew each other. My girlfriend and I were promptly outed to all of our friends and families against our wishes. It put a lot of pressure on us. I was lucky to have kept a best friend in Emma. She stood by my side when nobody else did. My family were understanding, confused for a while but they came round and accepted me for who I am.

My girlfriend wasn't as lucky and that is what ultimately broke us apart. I don't blame her, she chose a relationship with her family and not being disowned over me. I can't blame her.

I blamed myself though. Me and my stupid lock screen had ruined us. I quickly fell into a downward spiral that was impossible to save myself from. I was drowning and I didn't know how to swim. I have a history of depression and I stopped taking my medication, I had lost all will to even try and continue with life and one night I decided I was done.

Life was not worth living if it was like this.

"Ok! How about this skirt, with this top?" Hannah asked holding up a distressed mini denim skirt and black bandeau top.

I looked at the outfit in her hands seeing the vision. "Yes, but swap the top for this one." I say holding up a long sleeve black shirt instead.

"Girl, it's August and we're going to be inside. You do not need long sleeves." I swallowed, I knew this would come up sooner or later. "Yes I do." Was all I said and luckily Hannah dropped the subject and threw me my skirt.

"Get ready! I'm going to change, we're leaving in an hour." The blonde girl stood up from my bedroom floor and left me alone to get dressed.

"Here, drink up." Kelsey placed a red cup, full to the brim, on my desk as I applied my mascara, finishing off my makeup.

"What's this?" I ask not waiting for an answer before taking a swig of the unknown drink. Vodka. It was definitely vodka and something else. I winced at the intensity of the cocktail. "It's the Kelsey Special of course!" My roommate laughed taking a sip from her own cup.

"Oh close your eyes!" She said doing a little jump, "I have a surprise for you."

“A surprise? For me?” I say doing as she says.

"Ok open!" I opened my eyes to see Kelseys hand opened in front of me, a danity string bracelet laying in her palm. "What's this?" I ask taking the thread into my own hands and admiring the intricate plait it was braided into. "It's official Single Sisters merch, duh!" She exclaims taking it back from me and tying it around my left wrist, she held up her own wrist showing off her matching bracelet. "I love them Kels!" I smile as I get up and pull her into a hug, "Thank you." "You're so welcome Lils, now lets get drunk!" And with that she drags me out of my bedroom, drinks in hand, into the kitchen where Hannah and Madison are pouring shots.

By the time we reach Huskies, its safe to say I'm tipsy. I'm not sure how many shots were consumed back at the apartment but I had another cup of the Kelsey Special and my body felt tingly and almost numb, it felt nice. I wasn't new to drinking and I knew my limit so I knew I'd be fine. We each got a drink as soon as we entered the bar and headed straight for the dance floor. The bar was decently busy, I scanned the room, no sign of Kayla...or Paige.

I'm not sure how long I had been dancing with my roommates before I felt an arm drape over my shoulders, "Hey hottie!" I flicked my head round and was met with Kaylas smiling face. "Oh my god, hiii!" I exclaim pulling her in for a hug, the alcohol had definitely hit. "These are my roommates! Kelsey, Hannah and Madison." I say pointing at the three girls individually, Kayla introduced herself as I finished the remainder of my drink.

"Come meet the girls!" Kayla shouted over the loud music, ushering us through the crowd over to a table in the corner of the bar.

She went around the entire group aquainting us with each other. I was now able to put names to the faces of the girls I'd seen in the gym earlier in the day.

Ice, Nika, Aliyah, Azzi, Aubrey and Jana.

"And of course you already met KK and Paige." Kayla says pointing behind me as Paige and KK approached us, multiple drinks in each of their hands.

I'm unsure whether it was the copious amounts of alcohol in my system or the moody low lighting of the bar but Paige looked particularly majestic as she sauntered over to the group. She had this vibe that seemed to follow her. Multiple heads turned in her direction and something told me she knew how hot she was.

KK was quick to put down the drinks she held and embrace me, I hugged the girl back taking in her sweet scent. Paige wasn't so quick, she handed drinks to her teammates and they thanked her before she turned her attention to me and my roommates. She introduced herself to Kelsey, Hannah and Madison giving them all a quick side hug.

"Hi Lily." She says, her eyes looking directly into mine. I have to look up slightly, the girl has some inches on me, "Hello Paige!" I can't help the stupid grin that spreads across my face as she leans in to hug me, not like the other girls, I'm encapsulated by both her arms, I swear if I was a cartoon character this is the moment my eyes would turn into red love hearts. Her scent was different from KKs, more vanilla-y, musky almost, warm.

"First time in Huskies calls for one thing: INITIATION SHOTS!" Nika says pulling me from Paige and leading me to the bar, her hands on my shoulders.

Once we all have a shot in our hands, Nika looks at me, "Ok one fact about you that no one knows!" She says pursing her lips.

God, the list was endless.

"I'm allergic to nuts." That was the most mundane fact that came to my mind.

"And not just the food kind!" Kelsey exclaims making the girls laugh before we knock back our shots.

Kelseys joke seemed to either go over everyones head or life really was different here in Connecticut and no one hated me because I was gay. Either way I felt comfortable around these girls, welcomed and it was a nice feeling.

I was reaching my limit but still found myself stumbling slightly towards the bar.

"Easy there." A hand grabbed my elbow balacing me before I was able to steady myself. "Thank you." I giggled and my words came out slurred.

I had definitely reached my limit but I waved the bar man over. "Vodka cranberry please!" I ordered feeling the hand move from my elbow to my lower back.

Who the hell was this?

I turned my gaze to my left seeing a guy slightly taller than me with brown shaggy hair smirking down at me. With one hand occupied on my lower back, the other dug into his pocket and he pulled out his card, "Let me get this for you." He says as he goes to pay for my drink. "No, it's OK." I say simply, trying to shrug him off. "Let me." He insists pulling me closer to him.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable when I felt his arm get yanked off of me, "She said it's OK, bro." Paige had inserted herself between me and the creep and gave him a light shove away. "Are you OK?" She asks looking at me sincerely, brows furrowed together. I nod, "I'm fine." I say as I pay for my drink. "Are you sure?" She double checks. "I promise, Paige. I've dealt with worse than a drunk guy in a bar." I reassure her. "As long as you're OK." She says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we walk back to the table her teammates were once gathered around.

Paige sits down at the booth and I intently watch as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and reajusted her t-shirt.

"You like what you see?" Paige is smirking now and I've been caught red handed.

"I um- I-"

Pull yourself together Lily!

"I wasn't staring." I defend myself lazily. Paige laughs, "But you were staring in the gym earlier." She says matter of factly, raising her brows at me.

I feel my cheeks burn, well and truly red handed.

"What?" Is all I can manage as a response.

"The walls are mirrored babe, just because you were behind me doesn't mean I didn't see you." If it was even possible, my cheeks got hotter with embarrassment.

"Cocky much?" I taunt the basketball player before taking a long, needed sip of my drink.

"When it makes you this flustered, yes." She says reaching out for my wrist, pulling me to sit next to her.

We're so close our legs are touching and I can smell the mix of vanilla and musk again. "Tell me something about yourself Lily. Something other than your allergy to nuts...not just the food kind." Oh god.

I muster every sober fibre inside of me to think of something that doesn't qualify as a trauma dump. I look down at my hands, the bracelet Kelsey gifted me earlier poking out of the bottom of my sleeve.

"I joined a club!" I say waving my arm up showing off the bracelet.

"Oh yeah, what club?" Paige questions, head slightly tilted. "Single sisters!" I say proudly. "It's just me and Kelsey at the moment but we made a pact to stay single all of junior year." I tell Paige about mine and my roommate's promise to each other.

She hooks a finger through the bracelet, her knuckle grazing my skin softly, and tugs gently. "Hey!" I pull my arm away afraid she'll break the delicate thread. "What are you doing?" I frown. "Just checking how secure that thing is." She looks at me with that god forsaken eye contact that she's so good at. "Wouldn't want it breaking." She says eyes still locked onto mine.

"Lilyyyyy." I begrudgingly look away from Paige to see Madison practically being held up by Kelsey and Hannah.

I thought I was drunk.

"I think it's home time." Paige says into my ear, her breath hot on my neck.

"Hi Mads." I say standing up, ignoring the fact Paiges breath had spiked my heart rate. "I think we should get her home." Hannah says and I nod turning to grab my bag.

Well, well, well.

I catch Paige, staring, right at me, I smirk to myself.

One point to Lily.

I bend slightly to pick my bag up off the table, "Looks like we both have a staring problem." I say quiet enough for just Paige to hear and quickly turn on my heel following my friends out of the bar.

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[georgieluz]

HBOWAR OC MASTERLIST

OLIVER HARDWICK

intelligence officer, easy company (band of brothers)

ship: lewis nixon | tag: #oc: oliver hardwick

"you'll never fumigate the demons, no matter how much you smoke"

new yorker. former literature and latin student at university. mischievous. wealthy. playful. rakish, maybe even roguish, some might say, in a pretty boy kind of way. think: old money with a rebellious streak. massive ballrooms contrasted with secret parties in tiny apartments. flowing champagne. screaming drunkenly from the deck of a yacht. rage rage and more rage, so much rage. the subtle glare of disapproval from a calculating parent. a disdain for authority and taking orders. winter scarves in every colour, but especially red. kissing older men. dancing until you can't remember your family name. the simultaneous fascination and disappointment your friends and peers feel toward you. running away as a child and nobody even noticing you're gone. picking oranges in the mediterranean. freezing cold new york winters. spinning around in the rain. being too smart for your own good. self-sabotage. self-loathing. self-destruction.

playlist: tell me i'm an angel

TOMMY MONET

private first class, easy company (band of brothers)

ship: joseph liebgott | tag: #oc: tommy monet

"the silence that you're hearing is turning into a deafening, painful, shameful roar"

bostoner. from the wrong side of the tracks. barely got a high school diploma. former teenage nuisance. poet. fuelled by coffee and homeric similes. friends with every cat in the neighbourhood. talks to his cat badger more than other people. think: scrappy. argumentative. observant. smart but wishes he wasn't. hot black coffee running through his veins. flannel shirts. a backpack full of books. a hardshell exterior and deep, deep repression. running races down the railroad tracks until you're completely breathless. smoking because you don't know what else to do with your hands. irritable, but usually with a smile and a hefty dose of sarcasm. fuck the elite. no one can hurt me if they can't get near me. insecurities? what are those? who needs a father anyway.

playlist: let down and hanging around

CHARLIE SCOTT

private first class, how company (the pacific)

ship: bill "hoosier" smith | tag: #oc: charlie scott

"come ease my slumber, sink me into sleep"

mornings spent next to the river. cigarettes for breakfast. brushing the sand out of dark hair. journals filled to the brim. training as a car mechanic. hands coated with oil. overalls tied around your waist. a sarcasm-filled whisper in your ear. a hand gripping yours through the barrage of bombs every night. eyes searching for you as you cross every battlefield. dramatic readings of your stream of conscious poetry until something hits. adopting the dog that you found in the middle of battle. missing the diners you always claimed to hate. wanting nothing more than to run back to the mountains you hiked growing up. realising you never want to visit a beach again. longing for the quiet peacefulness of a lake.

playlist: i once warmed my hands

RHYS LLEWYD

corpsman, king company (the pacific)

ship: eddie jones | tag: #oc: rhys llewyd

"torn down, full of aching, somehow our youth will take the blame"

welsh born, new hampshire raised. gentle hands, sharp eyes. soft-spoken. welsh-lilted american accent. the messiest bedhead you'll ever see. enjoys watching people mispronounce his surname. touch-starved for something more than bleeding guts and bullet wounds. sage green and lavender. realising you never wanted to study medicine in the first place. cloudgazing. comic books shoved into pockets. an impeccable dancer who will never show it. can't handle his alcohol but drinks anyway. misses trees, and grass, and greenery. hands touching beneath the library table. a pile of books next to your bed. the scent of sugar and honey contrasted with the blood dripping from your hands.

playlist: fade me away

MAX JACOBS

platoon scout sniper, bravo company (gen kill)

ship: brad colbert | tag: #oc: max jacobs

"there's nothing wrong with me, this is how i'm supposed to be, in a land of make believe, that don't believe in me"

deadly aim, with a smile to match. skate parks and 7-11s. worn out chuck taylors. suburban fuckery. sneaking out of your bedroom window at 2am. driving out as far as you can because you've got nothing better to do. desperately wanting to escape your town at any cost. sony walkman cd player attached to your belt at all times. fuck the system (but you're in the system). laughing in the face of everything and anything. empty red bull cans littered across the room. kissing boys in empty car parks. getting your fists bloody when the homophobes arrive. taking on the world with nothing but bruised knees and a stick of gum.

playlist: and when we go, don't blame us

MATTHEW "MATTY" CARTER

corporal, bravo company (gen kill)

ship: ray person | tag: #oc: matty carter

"tracksuits and red wine, movies for two, we'll take off our phones, and we'll turn off our shoes. we'll play nintendo, though i always lose, 'cause you watch the tv, while i'm watching you. dumb conversation, we lose track of time, have i told you lately, i'm grateful you're mine. there's nothing like doing nothing with you"

missouri summers. friends who fall somewhere between platonic and something more. pizza nights. staying up until 4am playing uno. laughing so hard your ribs hurt. realising you're a little bit in love with your best friend. following him to the marine corps. losing far too much money playing pool. camping in the rain. smiles so wide. watching the lost boys so many times you can quote every line. sharing hoodies. the colour orange. instant messaging into the early hours. the sunrise laughing as you fall asleep. promises of running away together. fingers in soft wavy hair. ice cold lemonade. the ghost of a confession.

playlist: do you think of me?

CALEB DAWSON

architecture student, hacker, archer (band of brothers zombie au)

ship: ron speirs | tag: #oc: caleb dawson

"yes, it's you i welcome death with, as the world caves in"

sketching buildings from the window of hotel rooms. mugs of cold coffee left on every surface. counting to ten before you open a door. endless recurve vs compound pettiness. the fucking audacity of life. talking with your hands. sarcasm as a first language. stubborn and unyielding, but fiercely protective. clinging to a pencil and paper as a lifeline. realising it's easier to push your buttons than you thought. jokes. lots of jokes. witty one liners. deep, deep inner conflict. bitterness coating your tongue with every word. being suspicious of newcomers but bound to your own sense of loyalties and vulnerabilities. trying desperately to hide every aspect of your gentleness, but feeling it leak through in every moment. being ashamed of your dreams and ambitions. feeling the cracks break open every day, but bottling it up all the same. waiting alone in hotel rooms wondering if your dad will come back for you this time. being taught to hack at twelve years old. finally escaping the only life you've ever really known only to find that a virus outbreak has mutated and changed the world forever. unravelling dreams.

playlist: one wink at a time

ARCHIE SULLIVAN

RAF pilot / lancaster bomber (masters of the air)

ship: bucky egan | tag: #oc: archie sullivan

"wild lovers never get the blues"

flying too close to the moon, "you look pretty in blue", piles of unopened letters thrown in a corner, easy laughs, easier smiles, falling asleep on the wing of your plane, cycling to the pub with your best friend in the pouring rain, turning annoyance into endearment, a pint and a ginger beer please, escaping to the beaches of east anglia on a weekend pass, puppy dog eyes the size of jupiter, pettiness, so so much pettiness, challenging just about everyone you've ever met, thinking you might just be the greatest darts player in all of england, a good ol' dose of the great british repression, yet accidentally flirting with almost everyone you meet, running so far away from home that you ended up in the clouds

playlist: to the top of the big night sky

if you want to read about the ocs from my hbo war f1 au please head over to this post. the ocs there are all platonic ocs, but have a lot of presence in the world and narrative, and if you'd like to see my ocs for top gun, then you can find them on my sideblog here

[cruetrimeblog]

The Unfortunate Story of H.H. Holmes

H.H. Holmes was born Herman Webster Mudgett in Gilmanton, New Hampshire in May 1861. His parents were Levi Mudgett and Theodate Price. Holmes was the third of five total children. His siblings' names were Ellen, Arthur, Henry, and Mary. The Mudgett's were a Methodist family. Many people believe that Holmes tortured animals and also suffered abuse from his father. However there has been no solid proof to back up either of these accusations.

Holmes graduated from high school at 16 years old and went on to be a teacher. He married a woman named Clara Lovering in July 1878. They went on to have a son named Robert in February of 1880.

Holmes enrolled in the University of Vermont when he was 18, but dropped out a year later. He then transferred to the University of Michigan where he studied medicine and surgery. He graduated in June 1884. After school Holmes worked as an apprentice to advocate of human dissection, Nahum Wight. After his crimes, Holmes admitted to using cadavers to commit insurance fraud in college.

Roommates of Holmes witnessed him be very abusive to Clara. She moved back home in 1884. She didn't talk to him very much afterwards. Holmes then moved to New York. It was rumored that he was the last one seen with a young boy before he disappeared. Holmes told everyone that the boy had gone back home to Massachusetts. There was no investigation into the boy's whereabouts, and Holmes quickly left town afterwards.

Holmes traveled to Philadelphia where he took on a job as a keeper at a hospital. He quit a few days later. He then accepted a job at a drug store. A boy died while Holmes worked there after taking medicine that was bought at that specific store. However, Holmes denied being involved. He then left Philadelphia and moved to Chicago. It is here that the officially changed his name to H.H. Holmes to avoid being exposed.

In a later confession, Holmes admitted to killing former classmate Robert Leacock for insurance money. However, it was confirmed that Robert actually died in his home in Canada 3 years later. While still being legally married to Clara, Holmes married a woman named Myra Belknap in Minneapolis. He filed for divorce just a few weeks later, claiming it was because Clara was unfaithful to him. These claims weren't ever proven, so the case was dismissed. It's possible that Clara never even knew the case had taken place. Their divorce was never finalized.

Holmes had a daughter with Myrta named Lucy Holmes 1889. She grew up to be a school teacher. Holmes married for yet a third time in January of 1894. This wife's name was Georgiana Yorke. He was still married to both Clara and Myrta at the time.

After moving to Chicago, Holmes got a job in a drugstore owned by Elizabeth Holton. Holmes would eventually buy the drugstore from her. It was rumored that Holmes had killed Elizabeth and her husband, but this was later proven to be a myth.

Holmes bought some land near to the drugstore. He began construction on a two story building in 1887. He planned to use the upper floor for apartments and retail space. The bottom floor would serve as a second drugstore.

Holmes added a third floor to the building in 1892. He explained that this floor would be used as a hotel of sorts. This section was never completed due to the contractors backing out of the deal after they found out that Holmes had been stealing materials from them.

Many of the rooms were soundproofed. The hallway resembled a maze with many pathways to nowhere. Several rooms were also equipped with chutes down to the basement. Holmes stored acid and lime in the basement which he later used as a crematorium for his victims. The builders notified the public of Holmes strange habits. This caused the investors of the hotel to back out. Many years after Holmes arrest, an unknown arsonist started a fire on the third floor which destroyed a large portion of the building. It was later rebuilt and used as a post office until 1938.

The hotel was mostly complete by 1892. The first floor was used as a storefront. The second floor held many elaborate torture rooms. The third floor held apartment space. Police decided to check out the hotel in 1894 while Holmes was away. The found many disturbing things inside: rooms with hinged walls and false partitions, secret passageways, gas pipelines leading to airtight rooms, and the chutes used by Holmes to transport bodies to the basement.

The basement held surgical tables and medical tools. Holmes used these to dissect his victims to then sell their organs and bones. He sold body parts to medical facilities on the black market.

One of Holmes' first victims was his mistress named Julia Smythe. Julia and her daughter Pearl went missing on Christmas Eve 1891. Holmes claimed that Julia died during an abortion, but what happened to them was never confirmed. Emeline Cigrande began working at the hotel in 1892 and was also likely a victim of Holmes. The disappearance of Edna Tassel has also been linked to Holmes.

Holmes met Benjamin Pitezel while working at Chemical Bank, and the two became close friends. Pitezel had a criminal history and soon became Holmes' right hand man.

Holmes met actress Minnie Williams when she moved to Chicago in 1893. He offered her a job as his personal stenographer, which she accepted. The two became close enough for Holmes' to convince Minnie to sign over some of her property to "Alexander Bond" which was one of Holmes' aliases.

Holmes would then sign the property over to Pitezel. Holmes and Minnie rented an apartment together in Chicago. After Minnie's sister Annie came to visit her, she wrote to her mother that the two sisters planned to go to Europe to visit "Brother Harry." The two sisters were last seen alive on July 5, 1893.

Several insurance companies were trying to prosecute Holmes for arson. So much so, that Holmes fled Chicago in 1894. He was spotted in For Worth, Texas where he had inherited property from the Williams' sisters. He planned on building another castle there to use to swindle suppliers.

Holmes was arrested for the first time in the same month. He was charged with selling mortgaged goods. He quickly posted bail and didn't spend long in jail. But while he was there he met Marion Hedgepeth, a famous Wild West outlaw. At this time, Holmes was planning to fake his own death to get $10,000 in life insurance money.

Holmes offered Hedgepeth $500 to give him the name of a trustworthy attorney. He gave him the name of attorney Jeptha Howe. Jeptha thought Holmes' insurance plan was genius. However, the plan ultimately failed when the insurance company became suspicious and refused to pay up. Holmes quickly adjusted his plan to claim insurance money on Pitezel instead.

Pitezel agreed to fake his own death so that his wife could collect the $10,000. She agreed to split it with Holmes and Jeptha. Holmes originally planned to use a cadaver as the fake dead Pitezel, but found it easier to just kill him instead. Holmes chloroformed Pitezel and burned his body.

Holmes collected the insurance money and even manipulated Pitezel's widow into signing over custody of three of her five children over to him. Holmes traveled with the children all throughout American and Canada.

Holmes managed to keep all of this a secret from his wife. Holmes would later admit to killing two of the children by locking them in a trunk. He drilled a hole into the trunk to insert a tube connected to a gas line causing the children to asphyxiate. He buried their bodies in the cellar of the house he was renting at the time.

Philadelphia policeman Frank Geyer was appointed to the case of the missing children. He ultimately found their bodies in Holmes' home. Frank then headed to Indianapolis in search of him. Holmes had been spotted at a pharmacy there. He was purchasing drugs to use to kill the third child. He had also been spotted sharpening knives at a repair shop. He later used those knives to dismember the child. He burned the child's remains in his fireplace where bone fragments and teeth were later discovered.

Holmes didn't stop killing until he was arrested again in November of 1894 in Boston. He was located by the Pinkertons Detective Agency. He had a warrant out for her arrest in Texas for horse theft. His wife was very shocked to find all of this out.

Police began investigating the murder castle in July 1895. Surprisingly, there was no sufficient evidence found against Holmes in Chicago. Some people even began to believe that the torture rooms were a myth.

Holmes was put on trial for Pitezel's murder in October 1895. He was found guilty and sentenced to death. Holmes later admitted to 27 murders and 6 attempted murders. The Hearst newspaper paid Holmes $7,500 for his confession. However parts of his confession were proved to be untrue. There were several "victims" of Holmes that were later found to still be alive.

Holmes described his wife differently depending on who asked him about it. Sometimes he claimed he was innocent, while other times he claimed to be possessed by the devil. Because he lied so often throughout his life, the truth is hard to come by. Holmes claimed to start resembling the devil more and more the longer he was in prison.

Holmes was hanged in Philadelphia on May 7, 1896. He was calm and friendly throughout the process. He wasn't upset or afraid. He requested for his body to be buried 10 feet down and to be encased in cement so that people wouldn't try to rob his grave. Holmes' neck didn't break which caused him to suffocate to death. He was pronounced dead after hanging for 20 minutes.

The murder castle mysteriously burned down in August 1895. It was reported that two men were seen near the building at around 8 pm that night. They could be seen leaving half an hour later. After the fire ended, police found a gas can near the back steps. The building was able to be repaired and was turned into a post office until it was torn down in 1938.

It was rumored in 2017 that Holmes may have managed to escape his execution. His body was exhumed for testing, but wasn't as decayed as it should have been due to being encased in cement. His clothes were preserved. His mustache was intact. However, DNA testing was done using Holmes' dental records, and the corpse is in fact his. Holmes was then reburied.

[stuartbroad1]

Get Convenient Student Housing in Durham NH

Experience the best student apartments in Durham, NH, at The Lodges at West Edge, offering top-quality student housing near the University of New Hampshire. Located just minutes from the UNH campus, they provide spacious apartments, cottages, or townhomes in Durham with a complete lifestyle.

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Non-Invasive Fat Reduction: Wolfeboro's Modern Solution

In the charming town of Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, the desire for a healthier, more sculpted physique is universal. Yet, the apprehension toward surgical procedures is equally common, leading many to seek less invasive alternatives. This has spurred a significant demand for non-surgical fat reduction methods, a realm where innovation and technology converge to offer safer, effective solutions for body contouring.

Comparison of Techniques

The landscape of non-invasive fat reduction is dotted with a variety of technologies, each promising to sculpt and redefine without the need for incisions or anesthesia. Among these, two stand out for their effectiveness and popularity: cryo lipolysis and laser lipolysis. Cryolipolysis, often known by its brand name, CoolSculpting, freezes fat cells, causing them to break down over time. Laser lipolysis, including the renowned Zerona treatment offered at Hourglass Laser Center, uses laser energy to liquefy fat, which is then naturally eliminated by the body. Both methods offer a gentler alternative to liposuction, appealing to those seeking minimal downtime.

Benefits of Fat Reduction Body Contouring Treatment

The advantages of non-invasive fat reduction techniques extend beyond their ability to avoid cuts and general anesthesia. Key among these benefits is the minimal recovery time required. Patients can typically return to their daily routines immediately after treatment, a stark contrast to the weeks of recuperation often necessary after traditional fat removal surgery. Furthermore, these methods come with a lower risk of complications, such as infections or scarring, making them an attractive option for those prioritizing safety alongside results.

Why Choose Wolfeboro's Hourglass Laser Center

Hourglass Laser Center in Wolfeboro, NH, emerges as a beacon for individuals exploring non-invasive body contouring solutions. What sets the center apart is not just its array of state-of-the-art technologies, including the cutting-edge Zerona laser, but also the depth of expertise and personalized care provided by its team. Understanding that each body is unique, the professionals at Hourglass Laser Center tailor their approach to meet individual goals and preferences, ensuring outcomes that are not only effective but also harmoniously aligned with each client's vision of their best self.

Conclusion

The journey to achieving a more sculpted and defined physique does not necessitate the risks and downtime associated with surgery. In Wolfeboro, NH, Hourglass Laser Center stands at the forefront of non-invasive fat reduction, offering modern solutions that embody the intersection of innovation, safety, and personalized care. For those contemplating body contouring, the non-surgical options available present a promising path to transformation. Motivated by the possibility of achieving desired results without the invasiveness of traditional methods, it's an opportune time to explore what Wolfeboro's Hourglass Laser Center has to offer. 

To find a Fat reduction clinic near me, visit our website to learn more.

[driverdefens]

Your Route to Superb Student Housing in Durham NH - The Lodges at West Edge

At The Lodges at West Edge, students attending the University of New Hampshire can chart their path. Minutes from the UNH campus, this top-quality student housing provides ample Durham apartments, cottages, or townhomes. Live the best student life!

[myraelvira]

Connie Converse: The Musician That Disappeared Before She Was Famous

Elizabeth Eaton Converse was born on August 3rd, 1924 in Laconia, New Hampshire. She came from an English family with roots in New England, where he father was a minister. Elizabeth was the middle child, and only daughter of Ernest and Evelyn Converse. She was preceded by her older Paul, and when she was five years old, her younger brother Philip was born.

1930 Census

Eventually Elizabeth's father would direct his state chapter of the Anti-Saloon league, the group that wanted to keep prohibition alive. It is unknown what Mr. Converse did after the dissolution of the league in 1933 after the repeal of the 18th amendment (which banned alcohol in America), since the 1940 census records stated that he was unemployed; though interestingly enough, his wife was listed as an engineer for the railroad, so I do wonder if this is an error.

1940 Census

Elizabeth was extremely successful in school, having had a poem in 7th grade published in her local paper. Philip has recalled memories of his sister fondly, such as when she painted a wall with the life sized portrait of Robin Hood in Sherwood Forest, that was later used as a background for performances for her brothers. She later graduated as valedictorian from high school, and later was awarded scholarships to go to college. Elizabeth went to the same college that he mother and grandmother went to, Mount Holyoke. Eventually, she dropped out and moved to New York City to pursue a music career.

The change in her life upset her parents, who were described as "heartbroken", and "assumed she was running away from them." by her younger brother Philip.

When Elizabeth moved to New York, she got a job at the Institute of Pacific Studies, and found an apartment on Grove Street in Greenwich Village. Eventually she started creating music, after teaching herself guitar, and made friends in the new city. Her friends started calling her Connie, and she wrote a plethora of poems. While making friends, and living with a new crowd, Connie picked up smoking and drinking, something completely opposite from the values that her father (who was part of a prohibition group) raised them with.

Eventually, she met Gene Deitch, a WWII veteran that would invite Connie over to record at his home. Sometimes she would be recorded in front of friends. Many of her songs were poems that she wrote, set to music.

In 1954, Connie appeared on the CBS Morning Show with Walter Cronkite, though the appearance did not attract much attention. Her own parents did not even watch the show.

In August of 1956, Connie sent her brother Philip an album she created called, 'Musicks (Volumes I and II). She left a message that read, "These reels are strewn with minor mishaps. On the other hand, they’re not so bad. With love and modest pride, Elizabeth Converse, August 1956.".

While unknown when Ernest, Connie's father, died, he passed never hearing her music.

Even though Connie tried very hard to get some sort of attention, her efforts yielded not contracts.

In 1961, Connie moved to Ann Arbor to be near her brother Philip, who was a professor at the university. She found a job at the Journal of Conflict Resolution as a secretary, then moved on to be an editor. She wrote for the journal, but never wrote anymore music. Connie's friends wrote her, but she almost stopped talking to her New York friends entirely.

Philip, stated that she seemed really hurt that she didn't make it. During the ten years that she worked at the Journal, she "started growing tired of the routine". Her depression increased over the years, and eventually her co-workers pooled enough money to send her on a sabbatical to London for 8 months. While she came back having enjoyed her time in Europe, it did little to change her demeanor.

Months after, Connie's mother invited her on a trip to Alaska with a friend. She initially didn't want to go on the trip, since she wouldn't be able to smoke or drink around two old women. Connie went anyway, stating, "I wanna go to Alaska like I wanna go to the basement!" as the cab taking her left for the airport.

Of course, the trip to Alaska did not help her either. Once they came back from Alaska, her mother started planning another long trip. Her brother Philip thinks that this may have been what put her over the edge, the idea of having to spend more alone time with her mother.

It was also during this time, that Connie found out that she needed a hysterectomy. This piece of news was extremely hard on her. And while she never married or ever had children, Philip has said that Connie loved children.

It should also be noted that, Philip, her brother that she seemed most close to in her family, never even met a suitor during his time around Connie. He never knew if she was a lesbian, though the thought has crossed his mind. Apparently, Connie was very private about her personal life, would respond to any questions with a very curt 'yes' or 'no'. In the documentary about her, Connie's nephew stated that there isn't any evidence that she had ever even had a romantic relationship.

Which, not to derail too much from the timeline, but I want to go over her song lyrics a little bit.

While not having had any record of a relationship, her songs from 50's talked a little bit about love and people that she had seemed to know. Her arguably most popular song, 'Talkin like you (Two Tall Mountains)', has a part that says,

"Up that tree there’s sort of a squirrel thing

Sounds just like we did when we were quarreling

You may think you left me all alone

But I can hear you talk without a telephone

I don’t stand in the need of company

With everything I see

Talkin’ like you"

Which to me, sounds like at one point she may have had something with someone, and eventually the broke up. It's possible she wrote that poem about them because she missed them.

And in her song 'Roving Woman', there is a part that goes:

A lady never should habituate saloons

And that is where I find myself on many afternoons

But just as I begin to blow away the foam

Someone tips his hat to me and takes me home

Where it sounds a lot like herself, where she liked to drink. The song sounds like she was writing about herself, and how she knew that, in the culture she was raised in, smoking, drinking, and pre-marital sex were things that she shouldn't partake of.

More than anything, I think that she spent her time in New York not just trying to make it big, but also trying to find herself too.

In 1974, right before her 50th birthday, Connie wrote letters to her family and friends, where she applauded the downfall of Richard Nixon, and she was going to head west in her VW Bug. Her brother Philip stated that she was going to leave earlier, but she stopped to watch the news, since this was the time where Nixon's scandal was going on.

But eventually, Connie did drive away, and she never came back.

Before leaving, in her letters, she advised Philip to pay her health insurance with a set amount of money that she left behind, up until a certain point. In the letter, it stated that if she still needed him to pay it after that point, she would let him know, but he never heard from her again.

A couple of years after her disappearance, someone that knew Philip said that they found the name 'Elizabeth Converse' in the phone book, though they couldn't remember if the name was from Oklahoma or Kansas. Either way, Philip did not pursue the lead, since he felt that leaving was her choice.

When I searched the census records for a potential match on this name, I personally did not see anyone named Elizabeth Converse that would have corresponded with Connie. I saw close names for Kansas, but those people seemed have had families, and Connie of course, never had any children.

Around ten years later from her disappearance, Philip hired a private investigator to try and find his sister, though the investigator told him, "even if he did find her, it was her right to disappear, and he could not simply bring her back." From that point on, Philip and his family respected her wishes to disappear, and have contemplated the possibilities that happened to her.

Philip thinks that she may have committed suicide, perhaps by driving her car into the river, since neither her nor her car have ever been found. Philip thinks that the possibility is there, since in the past when he was 11 years old, there was a girl who was a friend of his sister's that committed suicide. While everyone else in the community were angry and resented the girl that took her own life, Philip remembers Connie stating that "the decision to take one’s own life was very personal, and She very much believed-even back then-that if anything should be left up to a person, it was whether or not to live.”

Ever since her disappearance, not a single soul that knew Connie beforehand ever heard or saw of her again. Except one person.

On the podcast 'Spinning on air', a friend of Connie's appeared, telling a story about how Connie convinced her to marry her second husband, who she divorced 3 months later. The friend stated that after the divorce, Connie called her, saying that she was sorry for ever recommending the man, because she was only thinking about how her friend would have been good for the man, and not her friend. This friend also stated that she doesn't remember exactly when the call took place, though she thought that it was about 1975, or 1976 (If we knew when this marriage started and ended in divorce, that would probably help a lot too).

Overall, no-one that knew Connie in either her New York life, or Michigan life, ever saw her again. But that does bring up the question, where did she go?

If we think about her letters, and what happened to her, I think we can say that she stayed in the United States until at least the insurance ran out. There are plenty of people that know about this case online, and some think that she potentially took a plane to Europe after she sent her family the letters. Though, why would she tell her brother to pay her insurance, if she were just going to bail the country anyway? So in my personal opinion, I think that she stayed in the US.

Thankfully, Connie, or Elizabeth, has been entered into NamUS, where she can be found online on the database. Here, we can find more details about her that we didn't know before. According to the database, she was rather tall, between 5'7" and 5'10", and weighed anywhere between 140 and 170 pounds.

I did some looking, and there is one unidentified body that seems similar to her description on the database close to the area where she was last seen. On May 6th, 1977, a white female was found in the Detroit River, 1/2 a mile east of Grassy Island. Her hair was gray to partially gray, had a scar on the right side of the neck that was 3" from the ear to the eye. She is listed as 5'6", between the ages of 50-65, and 142 pounds. The case number is 77-3205.  While there aren't any pictures of this doe, the Wyandotte doe (as I'm calling her), has features that are very similar to Connie's. Even further, this doe was located not far from Ann Arbor, which is a close drive to Detroit.

Alternatively, there are people who think that Connie could be another doe, that some call the Fairfax doe. This doe was found in Fairfax, Virginia on December 18, 1996. This doe was between the ages of 50-70 years old, weight 157 pounds, had curly auburn hair, and had an 8 in. scar on her stomach, which is stated as possibly being from a C-section.

According to doenetwork, Fairfax doe was found under these circumstances:

A groundskeeper at the Pleasant Valley Memorial Park Cemetery discovered the decedent's body near the section of the cemetery where infants are buried, but not near any particular grave.There was a clear plastic sheet on the ground with an 8-inch Christmas tree adorned with gold balls and red ribbons. She had a portable tape player with headphones, which were on her ears. A recording of comedians Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner doing their 2000 Year Old Man routine was in the player.She had committed suicide by drinking brandy (she had a 0.14 blood-alcohol level), swallowing Valium, and placing a plastic bag over her head and tying it off with tape, suffocating herself.She left two fifty dollar bills; one for the coroner,and one for the cemetery, both with the same typed note: Deceased by own hand...prefer no autopsy. Please order cremation with funds provided. Thank you, Jane Doe.She had no receipts in her pockets for investigators to trace her movements. Most of the headstones nearby where she was found were fairly recent. The site would probably not be known to a drifter.

Fairfax doe's case number is N1996-41257.

While Fairfax doe may not add up in height, there are many who still believe in her being a possibility since the artist recreation seems so similar to Connie Converse. What is interesting to me, is that this Doe left behind a note stating no autopsy, and a poem.

Even further, there are dentals and fingerprints of this doe, yet 23 years later, there haven't been any clues as to who she is. What is interesting to me, is how this doe was found near where infants were buried, and it was stated in the past that Connie loved children.

As a final point, years later in 2004 Gene Deitch appeared on NPR radio playing a few tracks of Connie's, which people loved. Eventually, an album was released in 2009, with the tracks that she recorded under him, and people have been listening to her ever since.

What I find interesting about this, is that at this point, her music was finally out to the world. In my opinion, if she were still alive, I think that she would have come forward once Gene played her music for all the world to see. With the invention of the internet, she has a following of people all over. In other words, I think that by the time Gene played her music online, she may have already been dead.

Perhaps in some way, Gene played her music so that she could come forward, if she was still around. At the time, she would have been 85. But even ten years later from the album being out, no one has ever heard from her it almost feels safe to say that she may not be with us anymore.

[January 22, 2021 update:] On April 16th, 2020 Gene passed away. It was noted that he had intestinal problems. He was 95. (https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/209405791/gene-deitch)

In conclusion:

Understanding Connie's family, and the religious way she was raised, I can understand why she fled to New York to pursue her dreams. Literally having a father that campaigned for Prohibition, it wouldn't be hard to imagine that her parents were completely opposed to her smoking and drinking habits.

Even though we don't have any proof of her being in any relationships with anyone, we have her poetry where she wrote about thinking of someone. If she was lesbian, it was during a time that homosexuality was no-where near accepted as it is today, especially since she came from such a conservative and prude background.

Perhaps, when she didn't gain the success that she sought, she felt that her parents were "right after all", and so she came home to family, and worked with her brother.

While we don't know what the conversations with her mother were like, I feel like it wouldn't be far to imagine that, even in her 40's, Connie's mother nagged her about habits that just did not fit in to her lifestyle. The trip to Alaska was the last straw, and she had had enough. And didn't want any more from her family.

We don't know which way she went, or if she even committed suicide. Though, if Connie wanted to start a completely new life, where she could really be herself, she felt like she had to cut all ties from the people she used to know. If Connie stayed around for a while, it's possible that she went to California, where she could be the woman she wanted to be. Perhaps she changed her name altogether, at a time where documentation wasn't so demanded as it today.

All we know is, if she is still around...she does not want to be found.

video:

https://youtu.be/btTtX6L1U8g

[SOURCES]

https://www.theawl.com/2010/08/the-story-of-connie-converse/

http://www.doenetwork.org/cases/245ufva.html

https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/6279/details

https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/12059?nav

https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/23656

https://spinningonair.org/episode-6-connie-converse-let-me-be-if-i-can-part-2/ (approx 39 minutes)

[tallstales]

Day 11 Haunted Places in New England (13 Days of Halloween)

New England is home to some of America’s oldest colonies and so it only seems natural that it is home to some old spirits. Let’s take a tour state by state of 13 of the most popular haunted locations in New England.

Maine

The Wood Lighthouse - Saco Bay, Maine

In 1808 a lighthouse was built in Saco Bay, Maine at the request of President Thomas Jefferson. That lighthouse, though full of history is not the infamous haunt that stands today. After falling to disrepair, it was replaced by a stone and granite tower that still stands today. it is in this newer structure that a violent tragedy would take place.

Based on reports, in 1896 a tenant renting the lighthouse or possibly squatting there, was approached by the landlord regarding the subject of paying rent. An argument took place which resulted in the shooting and death of the landlord. After realizing what he had done or possibly panicking over the consequences of his actions, the tenant went into the lighthouse with his gun and killed himself.

Keepers who have lived in the Wood Island Lighthouse since say that unexplained shadows frequently appear as well as unusual moaning sounds. Other reports say that sometimes locked doors fly open and gunshots are heard. The light was also know to turn on and off by itself. It became such a problem in fact, that in 1972 to save the lighthouse keepers from dealing with the possibly haunted light, it was replaced with an automated light.

Goose River Bridge - Rockport Harbor, Maine

A spirit with spirits can be found on The Goose River Bridge on Pascal Avenue near picturesque Rockport Harbor. The Goose River Bridge is allegedly haunted by William Richardson, a town resident who lived there around the time of the Revolutionary War. There are at least two stories about Richardson’s death that circulate to this day amongst the locals. The first is that British sympathizers murdered Richardson in 1783 because they were enraged by his drunken celebration of the American victory. The second is that he got so drunk celebrating the American victory that he fell from the Goose River Bridge to his death. Either way, if you catch a whiff of ale in the air by the bridge and happen to see this celebrating apparition, legend has it that he’ll offer you a drink from his pitcher. I wonder what the tab would be for 200 years worth of ale.

Vermont

Emily’ s Bridge - Stowe, Vermont

In Vermont there is another haunted bridge but one without a such a friendly spirit. If you travel through Stowe, Vermont it is likely that you will eventually pass over the Gold Brook Bridge. At least, that’s what your GPS will call it, but locals have renamed it something different. Emily’s Bridge has been nicknamed such after a tragedy befell the location. A girl named Emily had planned to meet her lover at the covered bridge, where they would then run away together to elope. According to the story, her beau man never showed, and a brokenhearted Emily commited suicide. The method has changed over time and story teller, some saying she hanged herself from the rafters of the bridge, others saying that she drove off the bridge in her carriage and others still saying that she flung herself from the bridge.

One thing that remains consistent are the experiences. Visitors have reported long scratch marks appearing on their vehicles, hearing footsteps and spotting a white apparition. Some pedestrians have even reported experiencing scratches along their skin. The most common thing among these witnesses? They apparitions and disembodied footsteps seem to be experienced by all types, but the scratches always seem to be inflicted upon men. Maybe Emily is still blaming her lover after all these years. Or maybe, her lover did show up on the bridge that day and Emily didn’t kill herself at all. We’ll likely never know.

University of Vermont - Burlington, Vermont

Established in 1791, the University of Vermont was the fifth university founded across New England. The school welcomes thousands of new students every year, but according to legend it seems like many of them never actually leave.

Over the years, many homes were bought and absorbed into the campus. One of these homes is now the Counseling Centre. Once owned by Captain John Nabb, the building still seems to house his spirit. Staff of the Counselling Centre say that he is still there and makes himself known by knocking over buckets and slamming doors and windows. The nearby Public Relations building is also said to be haunted by its former resident John E Booth who is said to make various banging noises all over the building. But it doesn’t end there. The most haunted house on the campus is said to be The Bittersweet House where many people have reported seeing full body apparitions. It is believed that one of the ghosts there is Margaret Smith who was widowed at a young age and spent the rest of her life as a recluse until she died in the house in 1961.

Not all of the ghosts at the University of Vermont are former residents, there is reported to be a far more tragic spirit in the Converse Residence Hall. A young med student called Henry is reported to have committed suicide in the building in 1920 and many say he is still there, manifesting himself in the form of poltergeist activity.

With all of these separately haunted buildings on campus, I would say this makes the university of Vermont the most haunted place to visit in Vermont and probably a paranormal investigators dream!

New Hampshire

The Mount Washington Hotel - Bretton Woods, New Hampshire

The Mount Washington Hotel was built by Joseph Stickney from 1900 to 1902 and for a time was the largest wood structure in New England. Sadly, Stickney wouldn’t get to spend much time in his hotel as he died a year after completion, but surprisingly he is not who is reported to haunt the place. Instead the hotel is allegedly haunted by his widow Carolyn.

Soon after the death of Carolyn in 1936, hotel staff began seeing strange things around the hotel. Reports were made of her descending the stairs for dinner, as well as lights inexplicably turning on and off all over the hotel. Photographs have also been taken by the staff with the shadowy figure of an elegant lady looking through the windows or standing behind them. Carolyn’s old room, number 314, is reported to be the most haunted room in the hotel. This isn’t at all surprising considering some of her furniture including her four-poster bed is still in use in the room.

The Chase House - Portsmouth, New Hampshire

The Chase House in Portsmouth, New Hampshire was built as a home for orphaned children. As you can probably guess, it has some spooky tales to tell regarding the ghosts of little orphans some may be more gruesome than you’d expect. The most reported ghost to haunt the premises isn;t the result of a tragic illness or accident but of a poor young girl who hanged herself in her bedroom. Her apparition is seen wandering the hall and in her old room and there have also been reports of disembodied screams from within the room. Doors in the building have also been known to lock or unlock on there own and the electricity allegedly turns on and off as well.

Massachusetts

Danvers State Hospital - Danvers, Massachusetts

The Danvers State Hospital opened in 1878 as the Danvers State insane Asylum. The impressive Gothic architecture shapes the building like a bat with expanded wings and makes for a sufficiently eerie exterior. Underground tunnels weave beneath the building to up the creep factor of the interior as well. But what’s really scary here is the history. Typical of asylums for the period, Danvers housed more patients than they should have causing poor treatment and overcrowding. Historians belief that Danvers may have been the birthplace of the prefrontal lobotomy. Unfortunately that’s not where the mistreatment of patients ends. There was a distinct lack of adequate care and treatment with those actually receiving any sort of treatment being subjected to brutal methods such as shock therapies, drugs and straitjackets from the staff as well as your more average human violence like beatings and rape from inmates and staff alike.

The hospital was closed in 1985 and was left completely abandoned. People interested in the paranormal would try to enter the building but with no success. As of 2005 you can now live on the property in renovated or completely new apartments and condos. That being said there are still graveyards for patients. if you walk down a hill you will come across many markers, most of them remain nameless. Hopefully the rent is cheap?

Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast - Fall River, Massachusetts

“Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.” So goes the catchy rhyme that anyone from New England is sure to have memorized. Whether or not Lizzie actually killed her parents is a matter that is still debated today, but you can stay in the very house where the couple met their gruesome fate. The Lizzie Borden house is now a bed and breakfast and museum and is also said to be very much haunted.

Guests lucky enough to snag a reservations at this constantly booked up B&B can sleep in John V. Morse room, where Lizzie’s mother was murdered. Downstairs visitors can see the couch where her father died. Overnight guests get an extensive tour that lasts about an hour and half of the house including the basement and a full of history and the murder case. To those who don’t want to sleep in the room where someone was ax murdered, the museum also offers a 50 minute tours visitors.

Those who have decided to stay the night have reported hearing a woman crying, heard unexplained noises and have even woken up with scratches all over their bodies. Also frequently reported are the apparitions of Lizzie herself as well as the murdered John and Abby wandering the home.

Hawthorne Hotel - Salem, Massachusetts

The Hawthorne Hotel in Salem, Massachusetts has been ranked as one of the top 10 haunted hotels in the United States. It was also recently investigated by The Atlantic Paranormal Society, better known as TAPS or The Ghost Hunters.

Since its opening 1925, the Hawthorne has collected numerous ghosts. Witnesses have reported hearing what sounds like a child crying incessantly when there are no children around. Guests in room 325 have felt the sensation of someone’s hand touching theirs when no one is there.

The ghostly figure of a woman is also known to wander the 6th floor hallway. Others claim to have seen the woman enter different rooms as well and more still report a feeling of unease on the entire 6th floor and a restless presence that appears to pace the room according to guests who have stayed in Suite 612 of the hotel. Other guests in 612 that have not seen the pacing spirit report to hear footsteps in the room as though someone is pacing back and forth.

A more comedic report, at least to me, is from a guest who claimed someone had managed to get into his room when he heard the sink running and the toilet flush in his bathroom. After being shown there was no way anyone could get into his bathroom the man was resigned to the notion it was a ghost, and he was ok with that notion. I don;t know if I would be ok with that notion but to each their own. It is Salem after all and though this building is relatively young, the history of the city cannot be overlooked.

Connecticut

The Sterling Opera House - Derby, Connecticut

Built in 1889, The Sterling Opera House in Derby, CT is said to be one of the most haunted places in New England. The hauntingly beautiful Opera House remained open until 1945 and served as host to a slew of famous performers such as Bob Hope and Harry Houdini. Today, all that are left to perform or attend are the spirits.

There have been a number of paranormal investigations in the opera house over the years and the evidence gathered during them has included children talking or singing, shadowy spectors, light anomalies and the sudden appearance of child-sized handprints. Although most of the activity seems to center around children, some say that the building is also haunted by the spirit of Charles Sterling who the building was named for.

Dudleytown - Cornwall, Connecticut

Unlike some of the other hotspots on our list, this haunting consumed an entire town! Dudleytown was a village that was once said to be under a terrible curse. The Village was founded in 1738 by The Dudley Family who is the one who were the victims of the apparent cursed. You would think the curse would have ended when all of the Dudleys died soon after settling in Dudleytown, but it is said that the curse went on to infect the rest of the village. After the last Dudley died, the population of the town began to rapidly decrease with death... and it wasn’t a plague or sickness.

No, the deaths were violent in nature. Accidents and suicides wreaked havoc as well as a higher than average number of cases of insanity. The village was completely abandoned in the 1800s and now all that remains are the foundations and some stone ruins. Though access is rarely granted to the remains of this village by its current owners, guests to the ruins report that many of the former residents are still there in the form of ghosts. Many say that when entering the village there is a strong sense of dread. Some have seen orbs of light and unexplained shadow figures in the area.

To add to the strangeness, all visitors seem to notice the same unsettling thing. Though this is an area of overgrown forest, there are no birds or animals to be seen or heard. I think that’s enough warning for me to stay out!

Rhode Island

We’ve already visited my home state of RI on our haunted location hunt this week but here are two bonus locations for our tour of New England!

The Breakers Mansion - Newport, Rhode Island

The Breakers is one of the most popular tourist attractions and wedding venues on Aquidneck Island, but it has a haunted history. This mansion was originally the summer home of Cornelius Vanderbilt II, who was a member of the wealthy Vanderbilt family. It is said that Vanderbilt’s wife, Alice, was known to roam throughout the building, even after her death in 1934. Her spirit has been seen on multiple levels of the house in fine dresses from the golden age. other witnesses have reported the feeling of being watched or followed by something they couldn’t see.

The family currently living there says that Alice is a near constant presence but they will not allow any ghost tours or investigators because they believe she has a right to her own home and they don’t want to disturb her.

Seaview Terrace - Newport, Rhode Island

Closing out our list is the Seaview Terrace in Newport, Rhode Island. Also known as the Carey Mansion, Seaview Terrace is located on Ruggles Avenue in Newport, RI. This historical landmark dating back to 1907 and was a filming location for the gothic horror TV show, Dark Shadows. But it doesn’t just look creepy, the mansion is said to be one of Rhode Island's most haunted locations. Many believe the hauntings that take place here are attributed to whiskey magnate Edson Bradley and his wife Julia. Witnesses have reported apparitions, strange sounds, temperature drops, disembodied footsteps and the sound of a broken organ playing on its own. These odd happenings earned the mansion its own episode of Ghost Hunters.

Though several ghosts are thought to remain in the mansion, the most prominent spirit said to haunt the property is the original owner’s wife Julia Bradley.

Julia loved her home and had no desire to leave it. When Edson wanted to move to from Washington DC to Newport, they had the entire mansion disassembled and rebuilt in Rhode Island, a process that took nearly two years to complete. Julia passed away only a few years later and it seems she still doesn’t want to leave. Her ghost is often seen playing her favorite Estey organ.

One year after Julia’s death, the mansion became an exclusive all-girl summer boarding school, renamed Burnham-by-the-Sea where incidences of smoke detectors going off for no reason, bottles flying off desks and radios turning on and off by themselves were often reported. Others have experienced various strange noises like phantom footsteps, disembodied voices, banging, and even shadows jiggling door handles.

[natdyr]

westfield intro

name: sierra jane duval nicknames: s, si age, birthday: 24, september 5 sexuality: bisexual occupation: waitress/performer at a jazz club face-claim: kristine froseth (again) (act shocked)

sierra is the youngest child and only daughter of james and arabella duval. they and her three (!!) older brothers were born and raised in portsmouth, new hampshire in a small, but nice enough house near the water. they had everything they needed growing up, the duval parents doing everything they could to provide for their children (including working long hours and 6 day work weeks). more often than not the eldest two brothers would cook dinner, make sure everyone did their school work, the whole deal. 

though she didn’t always have the newest, nicest things, sierra easily made friends throughout grade school. she maintained an extroverted enough personality as she moved away and went to college in westfield, connecticut. honestly, she was dying to go to college in new york, but that wasn’t going to happen. at the very least, westfield was away from home (but not too far), closer to the big city, and had a university with a well-spoken about theatre program.

soon after she went off to college, her parents had a messy divorce. turns out once all of the kids were out of the house, nothing was really holding their marriage together. goodbye house by the water, hello separate apartments on opposite sides of the city.

it took a bit of a toll on sierra, but she pushed through and continued working at her degree.

it was in college that she met caleb townsend. for the most part, their relationship was the stable and loving environment and partnership that she needed. he encouraged her dreams, where many of her friends and even parents had their doubts. that is, until caleb was arrested. sierra found out through a phone call with his parents.

although she made several attempts to visit him, he never wanted to talk. they were effectively over.

since then she’s graduated and hit the ground running going to auditions and trying to find work. it requires even more persistence than she’d expected and it gets her down from time to time, but she’s doing her best and finding joy where she can.

she currently works at a jazz club in downtown westfield as a waitress and singer (a la mary jane watson in spider-man 3).

[driverdefens]

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[driverdefens]

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