#Anyways I wanna get these in for Nov so I post it before it's FULLY finished

[thedailyvio]

328 - 335

WIP Below:

[enderspawn]

op I am pleading for you to talk about c!Schlatt I keep getting interrogated for saying c!Schlatt was the best president and he really didn't do anything super terribly wrong please talk about him

i mean... im sorry anon but idk abt best PRESIDENT. manburg under schlatt.... kind of sucked imo JFKDLSJFKL

1. manburg had massive food shortages, to the point the average citizen (including fundy) had to eat spider eyes to survive.

2. he imposed ludicrious tax of his civillians (namely niki. we dont know if he did that to Every Business like w fundy or if he targeted niki specifically bc of her closeness to the ex-president, but neither is good)

3. exiled those who he saw as political opponents to keep his power

4. straight up ignored his cabinet a lot of the time to make his own decisions (such as destroying the white house, which led to quackity leaving)

5. was widely hated by all the citizens. literally at one point all the ppl left in manburg was schlatt and jack manifold (who was MIA on the server and left to found Manifold Land when he came back)

6. held a public execution, AGAIN without the consent or knowledge of his cabinet (IF I REMEMBER RIGHT. i know big q opposed the execution at minimum, but idk for sure if he knew it was planned at all before the festival)

7. was basically at war his entire presidency thanks to pogtopia's existence

and thats just what i can think of rn! the reasons i like c!schlatt are fully based around him as a character and HIS personal development, not around his policies or actions. especially when compared to the other two presidents, who either won or prevented a war and kept the majority of its citizens happier and healthier than Manburg, he's.... probably the worst president they had tbh

BUT since you gave me an excuse to ramble abt him anyway, i wanna go on abt what i DO like abt him (under a cut bc this post is already kinda long oops) but

tldr; i like schlatt bc of his relationships with others, his flaws and pitiable moments, and how he is a fantastic parallel/foil to the characters around him

I like his complex (and yes, abusive) relationship with quackity, especially after his death and quackity's feelings flipping rapidly between hating him and missing him. but before that they did have a honeymoon-esque period-- at least from quackity's view.

watching their date you get the idea schlatt mightve never really been interested in him and mightve just been using quackity's interest in him for his own advancement! but we dont know.

maybe he did truly love quackity in his own fucked up way in the end, even if he wasnt a good person. maybe he regrets his actions and cruelty. or maybe he doesnt.

in the end they were (like the animatic i linked said) "built from the same dirt", they're both incredibly ambitious and prideful people and parallel each other a LOT (see: q's need for power, his want to execute ranboo paralleling tubbos execution, etc). they're not good for one another, but i love seeing just how they fall apart together (i hope you die, i hope we both die kind of beat)

and.... god his relationship and impact w fundy i could ramble abt all day dude. fundy kept schlatt's sword after his death and calls it an heirloom. we dont know 100% how old fundy was when wilbur was exiled (i mena... he ran for president but current fundy is like 20something and tommy ALSO ran as vp at 16) but we can assume he was a late teen. his own father was gone, but schlatt... seemed to CARE. he showed him affection.

fundy's never truly felt like hes BELONGED anywhere (even the country his father said was all for him, he felt ostracized and made different by his fathers doting babying) and because of that hes always looking for a group to be a part of. hes a people pleaser (its part of why hes so easy for big q to get for las nevadas).

and schlatt GIVES him that feeling of belonging he deserves. hes a spy the entire time, yes, but he becomes conflicted about it as time goes on.

could schlatt just be using fundy and filling his head with empty praise? sure, i couldnt fault you at all for that interpretation, its perfectly valid. BUT, i dont think so. he seemed genuinely shocked to see fundy oppose him on nov 16th. remember, he didnt know fundy was a spy.

in that moment he realizes just HOW alone he is and always has been. and its a tragic moment: the last person he had, the person he himself mightve truly CARED about left him just like everyone else. he was alone, truly and fully. even his allies were only there out of obligation and bc of him paying.

he knows his health has been failing him. he cant even swim due to muscular issues but he refuses see a doctor about it because he refuses to let himself be seen as weak.

hell, one could argue that issue leads to his abraisive and abusive behavoir in relationships: he refuses to let himself be true and genuine to anyone, there always has to be a wall and a proud perfect persona. its part of why hes a great villain both in narrative and to watch as a casual fan: just like c!wilbur, he's playing an act.

hes a foil and a parallel to wilbur. both are men who hide their true selves behind a certain role or persona they feel they have to play while they hide their crumbling health (schlatt's more physical and wilbur's more mental). both experience their rise and fall. but wilbur isnt despised, even if he thinks he is, while schlatt isnt truly loved by anyone, even if he thinks he is.

most of all, their deaths couldnt be more different. wilbur went out with a bang. a large dramatic scene fit for a storybook, with a long monologue and cinematic final blow ALL made to fit how he saw himself in a story and simply filling a required roll. but schlatts death is practically overlooked (especially in comparison to wilburs death and everything else that happened that day).

he built his entire persona about being this massive, larger than life powerful guy but he died small, weak, and frail to his own failing body. its... pitiful, honestly. it doesnt feel fitting, it feels wrong. his life up that point demanded drama, but his death was nothing more than... an accident, almost. unintentional. clumsy. its fucking brilliant.

[vampyrisme-a]

GUIDELINES ( FOR MOBILE USERS )

» INTRODUCTIONS! 

hi! my name is viking, and i’m the mess of a mun running this blog. i’m above age ( born in nov 1994, so i’m currently 24 as of writing this.) i go by whichever pronouns you wanna refer to me by, i don’t really mind either way. i have avpd as well as szpd, so i am probably more afraid of you than you are of me! anyways, let’s get into the rules! ( and apologies in advance if they sound strict or intimidating, i really don’t mean them to, lol.)

» THE MUSE

first things first, there’s a few things i want people to keep in mind before writing with jace. the first thing is; your muse is not going to know that he’s not fully human. unless we plot out and agree that your muse should know, please refrain from making vampire references to / about him. second thing is; he’s only half vampire (stating this only bc it seems like people easily forget that he’s also half-human.) third thing is, jace is currently going through abuse from his stepfather, so this blog will revolve around a lot of heavy topics (read more in the ‘triggers’ section.) fourth thing; jace is a hunter, and his stepfather has drilled into him to kill any and all supernatural creatures since he was 12. now, jace does have a moral compass deep down, but he’s not beyond killing supernatural creatures even if they’re innocent out of fear of what will happen to himself if he doesn’t, so unless you’re interested in that, and you’re playing a supernatural muse, you probably shouldn’t let jace know your muse is not human until he’s at least gotten to know them first.

» SMUT & ROMANCE-FREE.

i will not write romantic or sexual relationships. i don’t feel comfortable with it, and besides, jace is aroace, so there’s that. any other type of platonic relationships like friendships, familial, co-workers, etc, is all good though, as long as we plot it out first!

» SELECTIVITY / MUTUALS ONLY.

i am mutuals only, meaning i will only write with people who follow me that i also follow back. this isn’t anything personal, it’s just for my own comfort. aside from that,i’m honestly not very selective with who i’ll write with. as long as i feel like our writing will mesh, i’ll probably follow, regardless of your muse’s fandom, whether you’re a multimuse or an oc blog, or even if your muse has the same fc as mine.

» FORMATTING.

personally, i use icons ( 54x54 ) and <sup> text as a default, but i don’t really mind what kind of formatting you use, be it heavy formatting or no formatting at all. i’ll probably try to match your style to the best of my ability.

» ACTIVITY.

so, i’ve been rping for too long to stress myself out about getting replies out fast tbh. i’ll write whenever i have inspiration, and will reply to whichever drafts i feel like when i feel like. sometimes i might reply fast, sometimes it might take anywhere between a week to months. be patient, and you shall receive! you also never have to worry about replying fast to me. i’ve happily waited over a year for replies before, it’s really no stress.

» INTERACTIONS.

if i follow you, i want to write with you! that said, it’s probably unlikely i’m going to be the first one to instigate an interaction. not because i don’t want to, but because i struggle really bad with anxious avoidant personality disorder (you can read more about this here) which makes it really difficult for me to reach out, be it ooc or sending ic things. i’m trying to work on it, but as it is right now, i wouldn’t count on it. but if you’re reading this, i 100% encourage you to throw yourself or your muses @me! i post a lot of starter calls / meme calls / plotting calls etc, and have a tag in my navigation for both my calls and memes for this very reason!

» VERSES.

i’m always open for making new verses, and while my verse page is kind of empty right now, never be afraid to ask if i have a verse for your muse’s fandom, because chances are i’ve just been too lazy to write it up on my verse page lol.

» REBLOG KARMA?

i hate doing this, because i didn’t mind before, but lately it’s happened so much that it’s becoming really discouraging. so, please don’t constantly reblog memes from me if you’re never going to send something in. i get that in character memes doesn’t always work / make sense to send from your muse(s) to mine, and i get that anxiety is a thing and all, but if possible, please reblog from the source (and don’t do it right after i’ve reblogged a meme?) because at this point, i feel like a meme source to a lot of my followers. that said though, if you don’t want to send in a meme, don’t. i’d rather you not send one than send it just because you feel like you have to and not because you want to.

» TRIGGERS.

there are some heavy triggers revolving physical and mental abuse on this blog, so if those are topics that trigger you, i recommend not following this blog because i will not downplay the abuse jace has gone through and is currently going through. other triggers include violence, murder, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, self-hatred, self-destructive behavior, alcohol use, just to mention a few. i don’t really have any triggers, so i might end up writing some triggering threads. if you need anything tagged that is not a big part of my muse’s character though, feel free to ask and i’ll probably try to tag it. i try to tag all visual things with tw: trigger, but i might forget.

» UNFOLLOWING.

if your blog contains drama / vague / call out posts, or it states in your rules that you might post / reblog them / you support them, i will not follow / unfollow. i’m not here for it. i’ll also soft-block personal blogs and blogs who constantly reblog memes from me without ever sending in anything.

» PASSWORDS.

i will not send them in, as they give me anxiety. i always read people’s rules before following though, and try my best to remember them! and you’re always welcome to (politely) remind me if i ever forget something.

» DISCLAIMERS.

the base code for the theme was made by neonbikethemes. the base code for the navigation tabs within my tabs was made by alyofrp / ncighbourhood. the psd used on my icons was made by jaynedits and is called ‘fable hope.’ the psd used in older threads on this blog was made by /then/ user hartiless, and came from a free psd pack called ‘suicide squad pack’ or something along those lines, however i can’t find their blog nor the post with the psd anymore, so either they’ve moved or deleted. either way, the credit for my former psd goes to them.

[mini-pretzel]

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love. 

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? 

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? 

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine? 

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room? 

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love? 

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate? 

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to? 

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet? 

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? 

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? 

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film? 

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle? 

idk

u

tell

me

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world? 

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! 

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number? 

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? 

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? 

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general? 

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? 

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? 

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? 

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy? 

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy? 

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? 

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? 

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? 

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? 

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert? 

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? 

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel? 

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? 

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français? 

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? 

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? 

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! 

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? 

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved? 

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about? 

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? 

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? 

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? 

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now? 

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile? 

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot? 

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? 

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? 

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? 

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? 

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? 

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? 

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl? 

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine? 

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine? 

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? 

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? 

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs? 

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall? 

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? 

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past? 

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future? 

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? 

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? 

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets? 

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest? 

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? 

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? 

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree? 

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? 

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? 

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? 

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? 

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. 

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? 

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot? 

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? 

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry? 

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? 

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going? 

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

[charmdsinphony]

I also decided imma just dump this emotional baggage I’ve been dragging along since last year bc i want to vent about it but i feel unheard when i talk about to my group I’m with now. For some backstory; while in college on Nov 2015, i was hanging out with two former friends (Kiara, F and Lucas, M) on a sad day. Kiara was going to a funeral in a different city and was going to be gone for the weekend. We all hadn’t really known each other long, but Lucas and i still rallied to be some support. Anyway, she leaves to go ride with other friends of the deceased, bc she doesn’t want to drive. That’s around the time things changed for me and Lucas; he and I weren’t that close at the time, but we both wanted to try and be friends (at least i did). As soon as she left, he locks his door and walks over to where i am on the bed and yanks on my pants. I’m kinda confused bc he’d said something about wanting to have s3x with me in crude, off handed jokes before but i was with someone at the time and any other day i was alone with him, he surreptitiously managed to keep his hands to himself in those moments. I don’t think much of it like the idiot i am and he immediately pulls again and my clothes are suddenly halfway down my thighs and there’s a person inside me. No questions, no previous innuendo made during the very serious conversation reminiscing about our friend’s dead friend, no nothing. It probably doesn’t sound so bad being written like this but idk how to classify it 🤷🏾‍♀️ bc after a few mins i asked him to stop and he did. I didn’t wanna go through with it at first bc i was with someone else and i was reeling from the fact that i was technically cheating and didn’t know how to feel. But those few brief moments of whatever were enough to change how we spoke to each other. From not being able to hold a conversation at all the suddenly realizing we like a lot of the same stuff. I’ve realized that my word vomit was more than likely a trauma response. Everything else happened just as fast after that; the other dude i was talking to at the time was suddenly deciding to join the army and we broke up, 2 weeks later Lucas is asking if i wanna be his gf and i, again like a fucking idiot, say yes bc i think he’s just gonna leave in a few months and i wanna not think about the shitty relationship i just left. We were both so wrong. Fast forward, 4 years and some change and 1 slightly better but still very emotionally draining (on both ends bc i can be a lot and i know that) relationship later, i break up w/Lucas bc he’s not giving the effort I’m deserving of and i realize that I’m gay as shit. Nothing awful; i was the one who felt the worst about it but whatever. And one year, post break up, he wants to try and date a girl he liked in college before me. I’m friends with her too; we’ve all been friends since college, those two were just closer and that’s fine. Admittedly, my feelings got a lil hurt bc i knew he’d treat her better with no hesitation and no fighting, but i wanted them to be happy together. I’m really the other woman in their circle of things. I told both of them the same thing, them dating doesn’t bother me, but him doting on her kinda does. But she didn’t wanna go through with dating him bc she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. It hurts but I didn’t care then and I don’t now. I don’t want a person who can barely give me hype over a randomly sent titty picture but falls over their feet to make the next person feel like a queen. I’m hurt bc he couldn’t be bothered to try for me even when i asked; I don’t need that in my life. So she didn’t fully go through with it and he got mad at me bc he thought i gave him permission to date her then lied to to her to get her to not actually do it. It got messy and the rest of our friends got the impression that he didn’t like me, as did i. He didn’t even come and talk to me to admit that he did jump the shark and was kinda harsh to me until Dec 2021 and that was at the behest of our other friend, the one he tried to date, and it’s been weird and messy since then. And for all that…

I just wish he would’ve left me alone. He never liked me and the whole ordeal made it abundantly clear. He tolerated me at best and i hate myself for wanting to try to be happy and wanting to try and fix things with people when i know that no one else will ever really try and put the effort in me; not unless i do it first. And keep doing it until i burnout or retreat into myself. Now i feel wobbly and weird and gross all the time. No libido which makes me saddest of all bc i love feeling good like that and now my body feels tainted and discarded. Frustrated bc i feel unheard and like I’m faking something but idk what. And so alone. All this makes me feel so alone and I’m sick of this lonely alone shit. I wanna discard this old skin suit and be something else.

If you made it this far, I’m sorry you had to deal with my confusing, emotional ass story, but i hope you have the best day 🥰🥰🥰

[greenoakapologist]

hey!

we beat red today! now that my gold playthrough is finished, I gotta restart my moon file and finish that before the new games come out because I can’t for the life of me remember what the hell happened in that game.

now below the read more is just an overview of my team, mostly for me for a neat lil archive if I ever want to play through again but don’t wanna forget the team. also if you wanna ignore shit like this and just stick around for all the art reblogs or game stuff, I’m gonna tag all my personal posts as “pokemon trainer kon” for black listing needs :)

first of all this battle was a fucking breeze EXCEPT for his god awful snorlax. I actually had to wait out all his rests, body slams, and snores until all he could do was amnesia. most of the battle was me sitting through, “SNORLAX woke up!........SNORLAX used REST!” for about twenty minutes. it was horrendous.

my fave part about it all though was that I got the final blow with my starter. one thing you have to know about me is that I’m a massive weenie. the fact that I got to finish the game how I started - with my starter - was so cool to me.

anyway onto the team members lmao

Quagsire

this lovely lady. I’ve never used a wooper before, but god damn do I love her. dubbed “The Dragon Slayer”, this monster single-handedly took out all of Lance’s pokemon bar the few times I had to switch out to heal her. highly recommend this pokemon if you’re playing through gen two. It helped a lot through out the entire series, especially if you started out with cyndaquil like I did. trust me. mud-slap + wooper = no rollout combo for whitney. slap on some leftovers and this thing is an amazing tank. after the battle with red, her finishing moveset was Ice Punch, Surf, Earthquake, and Slam.

Ampharos

I don’t think I need to sing him any praises, everyone uses this bad bitch. unfortunately I kinda fucked up his moveset at the end of the game, but he was still really good. embarrassingly enough, I ended up getting lost in the first floor of mount silver so I had to teach him flash which is such a rookie mistake, but I had two stat lowering moves on him anyway. I was actually planning on teaching him fire punch over the other one but I forgot to do that before I battled red (lmao) so ampharos actually finished the game with one attacking move. his finishing moveset was ThunderPunch, Flash, Light Screen, and Thunder Wave.

Crobat

this was a fun one. my favorite pokemon are the common ones that people view as annoying and weak that are actually really good once fully evolved. she didn’t learn great moves, but she hit hard enough and she was super fast so she made up for it. she was the bane of grass type’s existences and I love her. crobat’s moves at the end of the game were Fly, Wing Attack, Bite, and Confuse Ray.

Tauros

I loved using tauros. he wasn’t as good as he was in first gen, because of the critical hit occurring based off of speed in those ones, but he was still very good. he pretty much one-shot anything when I first got him, but because of not getting an increase in stats with no evolution, he ended up needing to take two or three hits for a lot of the tankier stuff toward the end. still he could take a hit himself so it was never really an issue. ending moveset was Headbutt, Earthquake, Scary Face, and Thrash.

Tyanitar

the last addition to my team, obviously, since you can only find larvitar at mount silver. caught her at level 20 and leveled her all the way up as a larvitar until level 50 to learn earthquake, then let it evolve after that without mashing the B button. she helped out a lot with snorlax, taking his hits long enough to run out of pp, so I don’t regret it. her finishing moves were Rock Slide, Earthquake, Thrash, and Crunch.

Typhlosion

cyndaquil is my favorite jhoto starter, if not my favorite starter of all time and it was so cool to be able to use him in his original games. following tradition since I got heartgold eight years ago - which is crazy to think about - I nicknamed him achilles because 11 year old me thought it was cool and cyndaquil is my nostalgic pokemon. his finishing moveset was Fire Punch, Leer, Smokescreen, and ThunderPunch.

okay so you’re prolly looking through these movesets and throwing up in your mouth, which I don’t blame you. they’re terrible. I’ve never played pokemon competitively, so I’m not too picky on movesets and also this was technically a blind playthrough? the last time I played a jhoto game was...five years ago? idk. I had a lot of fun though

finish date was nov. 3, 2017 with a play time of 50:33 thanks to leaving the game on without playing or just getting distracted by other stuff. (I made the mistake of playing it in between games of ovw, which meant I was standing idle for ten minutes at a time.)

BONUS!

honorable mention goes to

Pinsir who was my sixth member before tyranitar. she was good when I got her, but it was tough at times because of her shallow movepool and the only STAB move being fury cutter, which sucks. she ended up getting outclassed more often than not and I just decided to trade her out. she was, however, there when we beat the league and all of the gym leaders in kanto, so I wanted to include her.

alright I think that’s it. this got long af.