#Anyway trying to do something each day of October and this counts

[the-busy-ghost]

Planted some bulbs today, not sure if they'll come up, I have never had much luck with daffodils, but the others were muscari, alliums, and irises, all of which have proven incorrigible when I planted them previously (still pulling alliums out of pots they were never planted in five years later).

[renjunphile]

kiss, cry, fall in love ☆ jung sungchan

୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 19.3k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's jung sungchan x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: figure skating!au, skater!sungchan, skater!yn, friends that kiss to lovers!au, secret/hidden relationship, fluff, angst, mentions of anxiety and skating-related minor injuries, lots of pining, lots of internal monologuing, lots of making out descriptions but no smut!, non linear narrative ୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: jung sungchan is completely, utterly and hopelessly whipped for the struggling skater who keeps him at an arm's length, yet loves the feeling of his mouth on hers in every corner of the globe.

୨♡୧ NOTES: im sorry this is SOOOO long and its just y/n and sungchan being so cute and head over heels for each other. it's kinda a self-indulgent fic and i didn't really explain the figure skating terms, but i think you can make do without knowing what they mean (ask me anything if you wanna know tho!) pls enjoy this cute piece :) anyway, miss u seunghan!!!

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SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

Your first love will always be figure skating. There was something about the way the cool air kissed and then smothered your face as you stepped onto the ice, and something about the way your sharp blades screeched as it cut through the top layer. There was something about the way the lights around you reflected on the glossy surface and the way you felt like you were most yourself while cutting through the air.

Your first love is figure skating, and everything to do with it- from the 5am call for training, to the sleepy drives all around the country and the world to get to your competitions, to the cheering, the gasps and the booing from the audience, to the gifted plushies making their home on your couch in your living room, to the stumbles and the landings, to the kiss and cry and most of all, to the skating.

Figure skating was also your first heartbreak- one that you were still trying to get over.

The arena you were competing in today was a familiar one, since you'd completed competitions in both the junior and senior circuit here a couple of times. Over the years, your nerves had truly eased up a little - never totally, of course, but you were always more excited than nervous no matter how well you thought you'd fare.

Still, the familiarity of the layout and the size and the ice was no help towards the pit growing in your stomach that you hadn't felt in competition in years. No matter- you woke up with that dread every single day for months now.

The stands had fallen into a hitched silence when they announced your name over the speaker. You had opened the barrier to the rink with a deep breath and one last forlorn look to your coach, who diverted her eyes quickly from you after a tense smile. It was weird; this was one of the loudest crowds in the grand prix circuit, but for you- last to skate in the short- you could hear a pin drop.

This time last year, you were on top of the world going into your first assignment of the season. You were fresh off the back of an amazing run at your very first Winter Olympics, helping your team secure gold medals in the team event and yourself a silver for your own effort. You had been skating in ice shows left and right in the midst of creating new routines for the new season, and you were on a high in life.

The season had passed well- you won gold, and then silver at your grand prix assignments, cruised through the grand prix final and then swept your discipline at nationals. You medalled for the 4th year running at 4 Continents and then all that was left was worlds.

Easy right? All you had left at the end of the best season of your career was the World Championships against all the skaters you had been consistently beating for years.

Anyway, back to the present.

You continued inhaling and exhaling consciously and intentionally for a while and it felt like forever before the first notes of your music began to boom into the arena and you could make your first move.

All eyes were on you.

It took you a split second to snap yourself from the sudden stage fright that had come over you. For a second there, you had thought that your feet refused to move from their starting position and had anchored themselves to the ice, but thankfully your brain and muscles had connected after a brief pause to send you on your first lap around the rink.

You had a few seconds to compose yourself and perform some intricate arm waving before your very first, and most difficult jump- one you had been rigorously training over and over and over again since the end of the last season when it had sabotaged your Worlds free skate.

When on the ice, the faces of the audience blurred into one continuous mass. You were thankful for this, otherwise you would be staring at the anxious expressions of hundreds of people that would bury and make home in your already fluttering stomach.

You sighed heavily to yourself before beginning the lead up to your jump. You told yourself that even if you didn't make it, it wouldn't affect how the rest of the routine went- you wouldn't let it.

You made the dreaded turn to start skating backwards and counted to 3 in your head before you turned again to take off forward, throwing your arms around yourself and launching your body in the air. You wish you could say that you knew what happened afterwards, but all you know is that you landed on the correct feet and the arena burst into cheers. You prayed that you landed your triple axel, but who knows at this point.

You let out a sigh of relief and continued with the rest of your programme that was ingrained in your mind. You were pretty much running on autopilot, which was not always what you preferred to do in competition. You wanted to be more in control, but honestly whatever got you through this skate would be okay.

The rest of the skate flew by and with each jump and element, you began to loosen up and the cloud in your mind began to dissolve. By the end of it, you could clearly make out the relief and pride splattered on your coach's face.

She gave you a tight squeeze when you opened the gate once more and cooed into your ear how proud she was of you, not that a blip in your routine would make her any less proud.

"Let's go to the kiss and cry and then i'll treat you to whatever you want," your coach Lina squeezed your hand with a reverent smile.

"Well now it sounds like you're bribing me to skate well," you grabbed a Keroppi plushie from one of the attendants that had cleaned up after you, giving her an appreciative smile.

"I always believe that you'll do well," she uttered back.

She sat you down in the middle of the bench and you gave smiles and waves to the camera pointing at you. You finally got to review yourself on the screens showing the live feedback of the broadcast and you were elated to find out that you had in fact landed your triple axel perfectly, instead of just a double.

The score blared out your season's best, just cause it was the start of the season, and it was on par with your scores from the start of last season, so you quickly celebrated and made your way to the media area and the changing rooms.

"Y/N!" you were greeted with a familiar squealing voice and were quickly enveloped in a tight hug.

"Sho! I didn't know you were coming!" you were so happy to see one of your friends around.

Shotaro pulled away and you noticed a towering figure beside him, holding a small bouquet of your favourite flowers, tulips.

"Sungchan," you smiled softly, "Hi."

His eyes were as sparkly as you always found them to be, his lips challenging the pinks on the flowers he was clutching.

He gave you a shy smile back and offered out the bouquet, "Taro and I got this for you. Congratulations on your short."

You wrapped your fingers around the stems and admired the vibrant orange and pink, "I bet you guys were holding your breaths. I know I was."

"It was incredible, as always," Sungchan assured you.

"Every skater goes through this, Y/N. We always know you're giving your best and we always believed you would recover," Shotaro hummed sincerely, "Anyway, we came because a lot of the gang is skating tomorrow. We begged our coach to let us come to this assignment and surprise you and the boys."

Shotaro was the first friend you made outside of your skating club in the junior ranks. He had approached you years and years ago, telling you he admired your skating and offered to be skating friends. In a career that was sending you everywhere around the world with never any stability, it was good to be friendly with people that could end up in the same assignments with you.

He had introduced you to the boys he had befriended himself and that was something you were so grateful for after you stopped finding yourself lonely in the cities you were drawn to.

You recalled seeing Anton and Wonbin drawn to this assignment too, but you hadn't had the chance to see them in their practice or otherwise.

"I'm gonna talk to a few reporters cause I can see my coach giving me some death stares to do them right now, but wait for me and we can get dinner? Or are you seeing the boys?"

"Toni and Bin have practice just after this and the others are watching, so we can get dinner just us and then we're hanging out in Anton's hotel suite after if you wanna join," Shotaro explained, "But yeah, go!"

You gave them both smiles and turned around to make a beeline for the press area, trying to ignore the booming feeling in your heart seeing the tall brunette for the first time in months.

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WORLDS, MARCH 2023

"Last to skate, Y/N Y/L/N."

You set off into a lap around the rink before settling in your starting position. You were well poised to walk away with the gold medal this competition, after ending up second in the short program and the competitor above you falling out of her combination in her free skate just before you. It wasn't that you prayed for the downfall of others, it was just that you had to take advantage of all you could.

Still, you were incredibly nervous. Your warm up and public training yesterday hadn't gone so smoothly considering you under-rotated your triple axel and landed your other quads shakily. You didn't know what was wrong with you- you were rounding off the best season of your career so far and this was just one last programme before you could have time to relax for a bit.

Lina gave you an encouraging thumbs up from the side and mouthed a good luck. You gave her a nod and waited for the music to start.

You had polished this routine to perfection, having performed it for two seasons already, so you were able to hit every piece of choreography perfectly as you led up to your first jump.

It was weird, the minute you began the lead up to the axel, this unfamiliar feeling began to nestle itself into your stomach and your mind and you didn't even have a split second to shake it away before you shot up in the air.

Then something snapped.

It felt like time had stopped and you were frozen mid spin in the air. The world had gone quiet and you could suddenly see the faces of everyone contort into worried gasps in slow motion. You didn't know how many times you spun in the air. It should have been 3 and half, but maybe it was 5 and maybe it was 2. It seemed like the laws of physics were non-existent as time suddenly snapped back into motion and you were on the floor the next moment.

You had no idea what was happening. Your mind had completely fogged up as you pulled yourself up. In the replays of this moment, you'd later see your coach in the background motioning for you to stop your skate and retreat, but you had bit your lip to stop the tears and continued your skate.

It was as if you blacked out for the rest of your free skate. All you remember was spinning around and around and trying your hardest to get back on track, but that was incredibly difficult when you had popped out of your quad lutz and fell again on your triple-triple. The audience was stunned, watching in silence and shock as the most likely contender of the competition was skating the worst in her entire career. Even in your junior years, you had never placed lower than 5th and you had certainly never popped out of your jumps before. You could probably count on one hand how many times you had fallen in competition, and this skate was obliterating that statistic.

You received your score in the kiss and cry stoic and unmoving. As soon as the cameras switched, you bolted to the halls of the arena while your coach shouted behind you. It took less than a minute for you to lose her as you navigated the maze of the 'backstage'. You were running on your skates (protected, of course) and you were running on some kind of adrenaline that was currently preventing you from breaking down. It would run out soon enough.

You had finally run into a corridor where the lights weren't activated until you stepped into them, so you had felt safe enough to hide in one of the rooms in the hopes they were empty.

The one you had barged into was a small dressing room, but evidently it was occupied by some people judging by the skate guards on the coffee table and the Team Korea jackets thrown on the couches. You didn't care as long as it was empty.

The silence dawned on you after the ringing that had been plaguing your ears since you came off the ice. It was then that all your emotions erupted and you fell to the floor in body-shaking sobs.

You had no idea what had happened at all. Nothing in the world could explain it and you had never felt like this skating ever again. In fact, skating always made you happy- it was the one thing in life that felt like it was for you. You never belonged anywhere else doing anything else. Skating was it.

So why did that happen?

You had heard of a phenomenon in gymnastics- the twisties. It was the sensation of losing yourself in the air, with your mind and body disconnecting in the middle of an element. It was one of the scariest things that could happen to a gymnast, and maybe that was what you had experienced.

Your tears were falling like a rainstorm on your sequinned dress and you felt the creeping of a throbbing and thunderous headache as you cried into the couch.

That was probably why you couldn't hear the door opening and a tall, young figure skater strolling in with a hum before he stopped in his tracks, noticing you on the floor, "Uh-"

Your eyes snapped to the leaning figure and you couldn't even make out who it was through the tears.

"Y/N?"

That was a voice you knew anywhere.

"Sungchan."

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SKATE AMERICA, OCTOBER 2023

"Where's your next assignment again?" Shotaro mumbled out through his mouth full of noodles. The three of you were in a hole-in-the-wall ramen restaurant downtown in the city, somewhere that one of your club-mates had recommended.

You grimaced, urging him to finish his bite first before speaking, "France. So soon."

"That's my first event," Sungchan hummed, sitting diagonally across from you.

Sungchan was one of the quieter ones around you. Of course, that possibly didn't reflect his usual personality around his friends while you were absent, but you'd noticed that in a large group, he tended to flitter on the outskirts and just listen.

"I'm off to Canada in a few days and then to Japan," Shotaro added, "I keep telling the federation to invite some lower ranked skaters to give them Grand Prix experience, but they keep including me in their domestic picks."

"Oh what a shame! You're popular in Japan!" you rolled your eyes playfully and chuckled at him, Sungchan joining along with you.

"Yeah, whatever. I want to experience other assignments. You know i've never been seeded to France?" Shotaro grumbled, "But yeah, I guess a home crowd is always the best crowd."

"The only time I experience a home crowd like that is for nationals, where all my competitors are also the same nationality. Then no one has a home crowd advantage," you mused, "I hope I make it to the final though- I haven't been to Italy in a long time!"

"I believe in you," Sungchan cheered timidly. You returned his musings with a gummy grin.

"Thanks, Sung. After Worlds I stopped believing that phrase, to be honest, but I think I'm getting better at internalising it."

"Ah yeah," Shotaro hissed, "A lot of the guys haven't seen you since. I don't know how much you want to talk about it; do you want me to tell them not to ask?"

"Thanks for being considerate, Taro," you said, "But I think i'm okay to talk about it if they ask. I think I'm coming out the other side of that dark tunnel now. And my therapist says talking about it is the best way to get over it. I guess she's paid to talk about it with me so maybe she just says that so our appointments aren't filled with silence."

Your best friend gave you an understanding nod and continued digging into his bowl of ramen. A comfortable silence fell between the three of you as you finally stopped chattering and were able to divulge into your food. You made small talk about the bowl in front of you- how good the broth was, how chewy the noodles were and how tender the meat was.

After the bill was split three ways, you huddled into the back of a taxi that was taking you to the hotel that most skaters had booked for the competition. You were squished in the middle, thanks to your shorter stature compared to Sungchan and Shotaro, but in an effort to not make Sungchan uncomfortable, you tried to scoot closer to Shotaro. It was pretty much a futile attempt considering the way Sungchan's broad shoulders sprawled over his seat and yours.

Still, you sneaked some glances over to the quiet Korean, who was peering out of the window and watching the busy streets of downtown Texas. His side profile was one you admired, with his enviable nose bridge and plump lips that were pulled into a somewhat pout as his eyes followed the people and the lights outside.

"Hm?" Shotaro poked you with a whisper, "You okay?" You didn't even know that you had dissociated and were staring expressionlessly out through the windshield.

With this, Sungchan snapped his head to you, eyebrows pulled in concern as you dismissed them with a wave, "Yeah i'm fine guys. Just thinking about stuff."

"Well don't plague that pretty head of yours. We're here tonight to help you take your mind off things," Shotaro was well aware that you still had some anxiety about skating and competing, and he mainly dragged Sungchan along to Texas just to help you through your first competition since your disastrous World's run.

Sungchan hummed along, agreeing with Shotaro and soon enough, the taxi was pulling up in front of your hotel. You rolled your eyes when Shotaro pressed on the penthouse button in the elevator; Anton often booked the most expensive suite at his competition hotels, claiming his environment had to be perfect or else it would affect his performance. Whatever, all the more space for all of you to hang out.

Sungchan produced a keycard from his pocket and you could already hear some commotion from the other side of the door. As soon as you heard the beep and the click of the lock opening, you felt a stampede of footsteps running towards the door.

"Noona!" Anton beat everyone to wrapping his arms around you, "Haven't seen you in forever."

"Yeah, I know. I've been a recluse these past few months. I missed you guys though," you giggled into his neck.

"Congratulations on the short," Eunseok hummed as he hugged you.

You received the same sentiments from the rest of the boys before you were being dragged over to the plush L-shaped sofa that they had begun to make their home at, judging from the blankets and jackets and snacks.

"Are you guys excited for tomorrow?" you asked Anton and Wonbin, recalling that the men's short program commenced in the afternoon.

"Excited, nervous; it's all the same emotions," Wonbin shrugged, "I kind of hurt my knee in practice today so hopefully it's okay tomorrow."

You winced at the prospect of an injury. It was so difficult to gauge how much certain bumps and grazes could actually affect you until you're on the ice and giving your all.

"Don't hurt yourself, okay?" Seunghan nudged his friend as he nuzzled into the corner with his blanket.

"Yeah, trust me, you don't want to make it worse," Sohee groaned. He had been dealing with a knee injury for a better part of 6 months and he was praying it would miraculously heal itself before his first assignment in one month.

You plopped down in the middle of the couch and to your surprise, Sungchan took his seat next to you. You tried not to make a big deal out of it, meeting his eyes for a brief second before turning your attention to Eunseok and Shotaro rock-paper-scissoring over who was choosing the movie. Shotaro won and the rest of you groaned, knowing that he was about to subject you to Studio Ghibli film again. For as long as you knew the boys, which was a long time, but you hardly saw them, you had cycled through the whole roster maybe 3 times over.

"How about we don't watch a movie and just chat shit instead?" Seunghan murmured sleepily from his position, "Like to start with, how's everyone's love life going? Any updates?"

You threw a pillow at him, knowing the question was directed at you. The 7 boys were attached to the hip in Korea, all training at the same rink (how the coaches managed that, you don't quite know) for the majority of the off-season. They knew everything about each other.

"Yeah, Y/N, how's your love life?" Sohee teased with a shit-eating grin.

"Non-existent, as always," you rolled your eyes, "I literally don't interact with any guys outside of the 7 of you in this room and that's even a stretch. The only man in my life is my cat at home."

"Why don't you date one of us then?"

Sungchan erupted into a coughing fit and you all looked at him strangely before deciding to address Wonbin's crazy suggestion.

"Sorry, swallowed my spit wrong," Sungchan avoided your eyes and chugged the water bottle he had snatched from the coffee table. He was thankful that everyone moved on from him.

"Wonbin, what the fuck?" you turned back to the long-haired skater, "Are you in love with me or something?"

"Psh, you wish," he dismissed, "But i'm just saying it makes sense. We've been friends for years, you trust us, you can't be bothered to go look for a man and i'm sure the thought of dating even just one of us won't kill you."

"Shut up, Bin. Did you hit your head or something cause that's some crazy allegations there," you defended, "You can't skate with a concussion, you know that right?"

"I'm legit fine," he rolled his eyes and began annoying Eunseok who was sat cross-legged next to him.

Your relationship with these boys was somewhat complicated, you would say. They were your closest friends in the skating world, but you also barely saw them and befriended each one on different levels.

You knew Shotaro better than everyone and you considered him a brother to you, meanwhile Sohee and Anton felt like your children since they adored you so much. Seunghan and Wonbin were your drinking buddies in whatever corner of the world you could find them in and you found yourself museum-hopping with Eunseok more often than not.

And then Sungchan. Ah, Sungchan.

Sungchan was just a consistent and quiet presence in your life. You didn't know much about him but he always appeared in the most random times. You weren't sure if Sungchan just treated you nicely because he felt obligated to because of your friendship with the others, or if his considerate but small gestures were out of his own friendly affection for you. There were phases that you convinced yourself that Sungchan disliked you and merely tolerated you for the sake of the others, but he would always prove you wrong otherwise in ways that you like to cast out of your memories.

Sungchan remained pretty quiet for the rest of the night, only chirping in when he felt like he could add something to the conversation, but the warmth radiating from his body next to yours gave you constant comfort. You would say the two of you were friends, but it was hard to quantify and label what you and Sungchan were exactly.

Eventually, Anton and Wonbin began dropping hints that they were tired and needed to rest up for their skate tomorrow, so you began to usher the boys into their rooms. The two competitors were sharing the three-bedroom penthouse, but with the surprise from the boys, they were having to squeeze 7 to the suite. Of course, Anton and Wonbin needed their beauty sleep, so the rest of them were cramming themselves into the 2 king beds in the third bedroom.

The two skaters bid their goodbyes first and you gave them good luck hugs, promising to watch the event tomorrow if you were able. This left the other boys and you standing around the coffee table looking at each other with no purpose.

"Uh, Shotaro and I are going to the gym," Wonbin began.

Sungchan perked up at this, "Oh! Let me co-"

"No!" Shotaro cried out suddenly, "You're not invited! Sorry! C'mon Bin let's go get changed," he dragged the smiling boy towards the spare room in the suite.

You looked around in confusion, noticing Eunseok, Sohee and Sunghan looking mischievous, "We're going to get chicken," Sohee declared, "I know you don't eat fried chicken so close to competition, right Channie? So why don't you walk our dear Y/N to her room? It's dangerous out there, you know?"

Their intention must have flown over your head as you furrowed your eyebrows together and shook your head, "It's okay Sungchan, I can go by myself! It's only a few floors down and you should rest. Must have been a long flight."

He mirrored your action as he reluctantly tugged on your arm, "It's okay; I'll walk you. I wanna get something from the vending machine anyway."

You gave him an unsure look, but relented when he returned a confident smile. You said good night to the boys who were slipping on their jackets and followed Sungchan out of the suite.

"I'm sorry they made you do that and they all just left you," you scurried after him. His long legs were definitely no match for you, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything so you can just go down to the machine!"

"Hey," he interrupted your ramblings as the two of you entered the elevator, "Don't worry. We're friends, right? And I would hate if something happened to you on the way down. You have a pretty crazy fanbase, you know?"

You grimaced, thinking back to the time that a couple of fans had stalked you around Toronto when you had competed there once. Sungchan was right, in fairness- you never know what information people have access to.

"Thanks, Channie," you reluctantly called him by his affectionate nickname that the others loved to coo at him, "I also think they decided that you're the most eligible bachelor for me, considering they all dipped and left you behind."

"Ah, they're crazy," he rolled his eyes, "Ignore them, please!"

The two of you had reached your floor and you were glad that your room was close to the elevator. You took out your keycard from your jacket pocket and opened the door. You hadn't had time to unpack before going to training the day before, so all that was in your room was your free skate dress hanging in the exposed wardrobe to let the wrinkles drop out, and your closed suitcases in the corner of the room.

"Well, uh," Sungchan scratched the back of his neck, "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Sungchan?"

He looked up at you with glimmering doe eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come in?" you moved aside to give him the choice to.

He chuckled in amusement, "Yeah, I do."

He stepped foot into the room and kicked off his shoes while you peeled off your jacket. As soon as the lock clicked shut behind him, Sungchan snaked his toned arms around your waist and attached his lips to yours.

Okay, confession time.

Your relationship with Sungchan was incredibly, incredulously complicated.

It all started 3 and a half years ago when your high school boyfriend broke up with you over the phone between your short and free skate in Canada. Sungchan had been the only other one of the group who was competing at the same assignment and although the two of you weren't close, the boys sent him to your hotel room with chocolate, tissues and a picture of him to rip up or stab with a pen.

You had embarrassingly cried your eyes out all over his training shirt and then pathetically asked him to distract you from the heartbreak by making out with you. You couldn't say that 18-year-old you was very smart or emotionally available. Well, to be honest, you still weren't particularly any better.

Anyway, the next day, the two of you decided to never talk about it ever again, swearing to never tell the boys anything and decided to continue with your semi-awkward acquaintanceship.

That was until the two of you stumbled into each other months and months later at a fellow skater's birthday party halfway across the world and ended up making out again in a coat closet for a good amount of time.

And then it carried on like that- finding places to make out around the globe, swearing not to say anything to anyone and then not talking about it ever again.

"We should really stop this, you know," you panted against his lips.

"You say that every time," Sungchan muttered, slotting his tongue between your lips and snaking his smooth hands to your throat, "But totally, yeah. We should stop this."

"Okay, this can be our last," you decided, as he led you over to your bed and pushed you gently down.

To be honest, you would say that you didn't know much about Sungchan despite making out with him 2 or 3 times a year because it was a correct statement. The two of you never really did anything else other than blow off some steam by making out. You never shared meals together or cuddled in bed indulging in pillow talk. It was always a transactional thing. It was weird in your head- all that the two of you did, but Sungchan was too good of a kisser for you to care about all the details of it.

"Better make it worthwhile, huh?" he peppered kisses down your neck until he reached the spot that had you putty in his hands. Sungchan knew better than to leave marks that your friends would definitely not let go of, so he just bit and sucked for a short time before connecting his lips back to yours. Your shirt had creeped up your torso, exposing a sliver of smooth skin that Sungchan attached his large hands to while he laid waste to all your emotions by kissing the breath out of you.

You didn't know how long had passed until Sungchan pulled away with blown out pupils and a pant. A small smile tugged onto the corner of his lips, which you couldn't help but poke, "What's with you?"

He giggled, "Nothing, nothing. You're beautiful, you know?"

A blush rose up to your cheeks and you broke your eye contact with him. It was weird- Sungchan seemed so confident when he was alone with you, but the moment he stepped out of the confines of your little situationship, he returned to being quiet and mysterious. You wished that you could get to know who the real Sungchan was.

"Shut up," you dismissed, cupping his chin and bringing his face down to yours. Sungchan stopped himself until your noses touched and he nudged his against yours sweetly before kissing you once again.

Kissing Sungchan felt like the world stopped spinning and it was only the two of you. All your worries disappeared and every stress left your body when Jung Sungchan's was on yours. He had this amazing power of making the world tilt on its axis the minute his lips touched yours and frankly, you were addicted to the feeling of him.

Your heart was completely and hopelessly beating out of your chest with the way his lips melded perfectly between yours and it was times like this, alone in a hotel room in a city you'll only ever see the ice rink of, that you forgot what your relationship with Jung Sungchan was.

"You should go," you murmured, halting his actions, "I have training early tomorrow."

"Yeah," he untangled his limbs from you and gave you a limp smile, "It's good seeing you again, Y/N. We haven't spoken in a while."

You internally cringe, thinking back to all those nights you sometimes contemplate texting him, only to realise you really don't text or speak at all outside of the groupchat. You think the last time you spoke was when you greeted him a happy birthday over text, and even that was a very fleeting exchange.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Channie," you felt the emptiness rise up again in your stomach as you walked him to the door. You were back to acting like nothing had ever happened between the two of you and as if walking you to your room was the only thing he did, "Thanks."

He bid you a soft goodnight and disappeared around the corner. Your hands rose up to your swollen lips and you sighed.

What were you actually doing?

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JUNIOR GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2017

"Urgh," you kicked the vending machine in anger as it withheld your drink in its clutches. It was a futile attempt as it sat on the edge of the shelf, taunting you. You gave it a few more hopeless kicks and groaned in frustration.

First, your triple salchow in your program was a total mess and definitely under-rotated, and now the vending machine wouldn't even disperse the drink that you paid the last of your Japanese coins for.

"Do you want some help?" a soft voice called out to you. You turned around and came face to face with who you presumed to be a skater judging from the pass hanging around his neck. He looked kind of familiar, you thought, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

You tried to give your politest, "Sure," but he could probably tell you were annoyed.

He enveloped the vending machine between his two sprawling arms and gave it an abrupt shake. You sighed in relief as you finally saw the melon milk can tip over and fall into the hole.

"Ah, thank you," you crouched down to take the drink, "I'd buy you a drink for that but I just used the last of my money."

He gave you a dashing smile, finally meeting your eyes.

Ah, wow.

He was certainly an attractive boy, with light brown fluffy hair and eyes so big that it made you swoon. This guy was almost two heads taller than you, but he was still built from the soft definition of muscles you could see from his short-sleeve top.

"It's okay," he assured you, flashing you the coins in his palm, "I was gonna buy myself a drink. I'm Sungchan, by the way. I'm a skater from Korea and I'm competing tomorrow."

It clicked in your head suddenly, "Jung Sungchan? Shotaro's friend? I'm Y/N!"

He smiled sheepishly, "I know who you are, of course," he motioned to your ensemble consisting of your competition dress, "You literally just came off the ice, you know that? Plus, Taro talks about you all the time."

You looked down at your costume and your feet that were still in your covered skates, "Oh, yeah. It wasn't my best out there. Anyway, sorry for not recognising you- Shotaro also talks about you guys a lot but he never shows me pictures. It's my fault though- I know I've probably been at numerous assignments with you guys since I've known Sho."

Sungchan popped open his can of strawberry milk, "You're quite harsh on yourself, you know that? Shotaro always says that about you. It was an amazing skate and you swept your competitors. Even if you made a small mistake, it doesn't take away from the rest of your incredible elements. You should always be proud, because those who watch you always are."

You tilted your head at him, a near-stranger offering you some comforting words, "Ah, I've never thought about it like that. I guess I'm harsh on myself because I want to do this for as long as possible. My dream is to win an Olympic gold."

"You're probably the closest out of all of us. Your skate in Norway was out of this world!" he chided. It was true- you already had a Winter Youth Olympics medal, but that was never really a predictor for the real thing- wait, he was at Norway Youth Olympics. Maybe that's why he looks so familiar to you?

You fought the smile arising, "Well, skating's an unpredictable sport; you never know what can happen. You just have to hope for the best," Sungchan opened his mouth to reply, but you could see your coach appearing around the corner, "Ah! I have to go- my coach is coming! It was nice meeting you, Jung Sungchan. I'll definitely see you around and good luck for tomorrow!"

"You too, Y/N," Sungchan watched as you bounded over to your coach, happy to see that you were in a better mood than when he first encountered you. That feeling did something funny to his stomach.

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX DE FRANCE, NOVEMBER 2023

You're on top of the world, and then suddenly you're not. That's the feeling you get when your blade collides with the ice so abruptly, shooting the pain all through your body as you fall on your triple axel again.

You think that you don't even breathe for the rest of the free skate, just running on pure adrenaline pumping through your muscles to get you out of this situation. Fight or flight was really taking over, but you knew that you could never step foot on the ice again if you decide to leave halfway through.

Your coach fussed over you as soon as you stumble out, shell shocked and delirious, but not yet crying.

"Y/N?" she snapped her fingers in front of your face, "Are you okay? Go to the medical team and get that checked out now," she ordered you.

They're satisfied that you didn't sustain any injuries with that fall; you think your mind took the worst of it. You're hunched over on the examination room bed, blanket around your shoulder and shivering.

All you need right now is someone to hold your hand and tell you everything's okay.

"Sungchan?" you whispered into the phone when the call finally connects.

"Y/N! What happened? Where are you?" he sounds breathless, as if he's been running around.

"I'm in the medical room," you looked around the empty room, thankful they gave you the privacy you needed to process, "Can you find me?"

"I'm coming, don't worry," he assured you, "For now, just breathe okay? Just make sure you're breathing. In and out, okay love?"

Love.

Sungchan doesn't bat an eye on this or even try to correct himself. It's something that slips out so naturally to him and that gets your mind going at another 100 miles per hour. Well, at least you weren't thinking about your skate.

It took Sungchan a few more minutes to find the medical room, having asked two staff members along the way. The whole time, he stays on the phone, making sure you're still okay.

He knocked twice and entered the room, finding you in the corner, just staring at his contact information on your phone. Sungchan pressed the hang up button and sighs in relief as he finds you.

Reluctantly, he approached the stiff bed and wrapped his arms around you. The second he does, you melt into his embrace and he's more confident to squeeze you tighter.

Your body begins to shake with sobs and Sungchan feels his shirt become damp, so he places his hand on your head and gave reassuring pats.

"Ah, let it out, Y/N. I know how hard that must have been for you," Sungchan whispered, hoping and praying he was saying the right things.

Falling was nothing new to Sungchan. He fell every day, even. But the immediate feeling you get after it never gets any better. You just have to get better at dealing with the aftermath. He knows you've fallen countless of times before, but after a nearly-traumatic competition all those months ago, he understands why nearly 8 years into your career, you're starting to deal with these new anxieties.

"You're okay, Y/N, you're safe," your sobs let up after a while, but he can still tell that you're still crying, "This is nothing. You're still in the Grand Prix Final and you're still the most amazing skater in the whole world."

You pull away and gave a half-hearted smile through the tears, "Just cause I'm having a breakdown doesn't mean you need to lie to me."

Sungchan is in awe at how beautiful you still look despite the tears rapidly falling. He tucks the hair in your face out of the way and tried to wipe some of the tears, "I'm not a liar. You're my favourite skater and you always have been, ever since juniors."

"Have a crush, do you?" you teased, sniffling and trying to finish up the release of emotions.

"And how bad would it be if I did?"

You tried to ignore him, you really did. You tried to ignore the way his words sent impulses straight to your heart and brain and made you dizzy.

Look, you weren't stupid. You were nearly friends with benefits with this guy and you knew how that usually ended- lovers or enemies. You had been suppressing any emotion all this time to postpone finding out which one you and Sungchan were gonna end up as.

"Y/N?" he called, pulling you out of the trance.

"Hm?"

"Come to Paris with me for a couple of days," Sungchan hums, taking your fingers and playing with them, "I'll help you take your mind off it all."

"Just you and me?"

You think about Eunseok and Seunghan, and how they had expressed their desire to come to Paris after the competition.

"Just you and me," he stated, "Let's just- keep it between us. A healing trip."

"What are you healing from?"

He brings his face close and nudged his nose against yours, "Seeing you cry breaks my heart every time, but I'm glad you come to me."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan holds your hand the whole 3 hour drive to Paris the next day. While you were feeling better, and watching him skate to a gold also made you happy, you were still fighting your inner thoughts. You look over to your companion, his head resting on his shoulder with his pink lips slightly open as he let out deep breaths. He looked so pretty sleeping, you thought to yourself.

You felt like you were in a romantic film, to be honest. Outside the windows were the sprawling countryside of France between Angers and Paris, and his hand was intertwined with yours and you were sharing an earbud each from his wired headphones connecting to his phone.

You wish you could fall into a slumber like he had, so you wouldn't have to be faced with these thoughts about the two of you. Since your arrangement with Sungchan started, you refused to think about the possibility of anything more between the two of you, convincing yourself that friends was the only title you were destined to bear. When you think about it, you're actually in a much dire situation than you wish to be in. You know you'll have to confront these feelings soon enough the more that Jung Sungchan entwines his life with yours.

Then again, Jung Sungchan has always been in your life.

The minute after you met him at the Junior Grand Prix final when you were 16, you suddenly began to notice him all over the world. He was at nearly every grand prix assignment, every challenger series you participated in and every corner of the world. He was always just there and you never really realised that until recently.

It started off as shy smiles between the two of you and 'good luck's' in passing, and then happy waves and asking each other how you were. When you finally turned 18 and had more freedom at the competitions, you were able to explore town with the boys, Sungchan always in tow since the world loved to put the two of you together.

You didn't know everything about Sungchan but he had already seen you at your worst and at your best. That has to mean something, right?

"We're almost at Mr. Jung's requested destination," your driver cleared his throat, breaking you out of your spell.

You thank him quietly and face the task of waking up what you believe to be the most beautiful sleeping boy in the world.

You reached up to his eyes, pushing the hair out of the way and you cup his warm face with your cold hands. His eyelashes began to flutter, until he woke up at your touch.

"We're almost here," you told him.

He squeezes his eyes shut adorably as he stretches out his body, never breaking his hold on you, "Ah, I fell asleep? Sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay," you shrugged, "You must be pretty tired considering you had the whole competition and you were last to skate at the gala. You did so well yesterday."

You thought back to how you also met up for drinks with the other boys that night and didn't get into your hotel until 2 in the morning.

"I wanted to spend some time with you, though," he pouted and your head spins at the thought of wanting to kiss the pout off his face.

"We have a few days," you reminded him, "Speaking of, where are we going?"

Sungchan pulls his lips into a sheepish grin, "You might hate it but give me a chance, okay?"

He's right in saying that you absolutely hate the thought of it the second you stepped foot in the building. You pleaded him to do literally anything else in the world as he paid for the tickets and led you past the barriers. You're slow in putting on the equipment and grumbling as you meet him by the gate.

The ice rink is busy, bustling with teenagers, families, couples and everyone alike.

"Give me a chance," Sungchan echoed as he extended his large hands towards you. You nearly laugh at this gesture, considering the two of you were definitely the most experienced skaters on the rink and the possibility of falling was nearly 0, but then you look up at the other couples and groups on the rink, all holding hands as they tried to keep themselves upright.

"We've just spent the last week going around and around the ice until we were going crazy," you began as the two of you set off on a leisurely lap, "And your very best idea for our so called 'healing' trip was to do the same thing?"

He looked at you pleadingly, "Look, I know I can't change the way that skating makes you feel instantly in one day. But I want to get to know you a bit more- find out why you love skating in the first place and hope that I can help you in your journey in falling back in love with skating."

You're struck silent by his explanation, mouth agape. Sungchan smiled softly, tugging on your hand and doing some more intricate steps as you followed. Looking around, there were people of all abilities- adults stumbling and adults gliding, teenagers falling and teenagers spinning, and little children across the whole spectrum of abilities. You awed at the little girl who fell, but got back up immediately, cheeks flushed but expression determined.

There was some couples that you could make out- one partner would be hobbling, holding onto the railing, and then every so often, their more gifted partner would catch up to them in their lap and make conversation, usually grinning and laughing together despite the disparity in ability. You could see the couples holding hands, reassuring each other that they were supported and they weren't gonna let the other fall.

"I was already 9 when my parents first put me on the ice. I fell so many times that my legs were bruised and bleeding up and down both sides and they had to stop me from skating because I was tracking blood and it was a biohazard," Sungchan began, "I hated skating so much at the beginning because I was so bad and I hated being bad at things. I begged and begged my parents to put me into lessons and I was determined to be the best. I hit a stump when I was 13 and puberty hit. I hated how all the easy jumps I could land were suddenly the most difficult thing in the world and it took me a while to find my balance again since I grew so tall in a short period. The time that I hated skating made me realise all the more how much I loved it because it was just showing how much I was willing to give to the sport. That's it, that's my story."

"That's your whole story?" you let go of his hand and skate around him, holding eye contact.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "That's all there is to me. Once I started skating, nothing else mattered. All I do is hang out with you and the boys, and get on the ice at every other time. What's your story, Y/N?"

The two of you skate around an adorable child clutching onto a penguin aid and join again at your hands as you reminisced, "My older cousin loved to skate, so when she would babysit me, she would take me to the rink. At first, my parents hated the idea of that since they didn't want me to get hurt, but I took to skating immediately. It became my life too. School was hard- I was always leaving school early or coming late because of practice and I would be missing days at a time for competitions. I never made many friends at school because of that, so skating was my only friend. I loved everything, but I guess I'm hitting my stump now."

Sungchan hummed and nodded along, "Do you know why?"

"I know it's all in my head," you affirmed, "Me and my therapist agree. I know I can do these jumps and I know that I still do love this sport deep down. I think all the pressure is mounting onto me- you know, continually being the best? But it's all I have and it's driving me crazy. It's the only thing I can take pride in and I think I need something new alongside skating."

"Like what?"

"You're definitely helping," you admitted, looking down, "Not just you. Spending time with you guys is giving me a bit more purpose in life- striving to form better friendships. But you've helped me a lot."

Sungchan grins down at you, surprising you by planting a kiss at the top of your head. He had never been affectionate in public, considering the two of you were keeping a secret from the world, but in this small rink in the outskirts of Paris, he felt like he could shout to the world how he felt about you.

"I don't want you to dread competitions or tear yourself up over your falls. I know there's nothing I can personally say or do to help you, but I just wanna be here for you," Sungchan's words are nearly a confession, but you push that aside as you come to a halt by a little girl falling in the middle of the rink.

"Hey," you coo in your best French, "Are you okay?"

The little girl grabbed your hand with her little fingers and you swooned at how tiny she was. Her eyes are brimming with tears as she tries to find her feet again, so Sungchan grabs her other hand and helps her to stabilise.

He looks over at you, fondness in his eyes as you try to set off the little girl into a slow routine. She's giggling when she is finally able to skate on her own and she thanks you in a cute little voice when she does.

"What's the likelihood that she's gonna be a figure skater when she's older?" you lean against Sungchan's frame, watching her shoot off into the bend.

"Hm, pretty high. You just showed her that if someone's there to pick you up after you fall, it's all gonna be okay."

⋆｡°✩

GRAND PRIX FINAL, DECEMBER 2023

"Song Eunseok," you greeted your friend with a tight hug, and turned to the other, "Park Wonbin! Haven't seen you in a couple of months."

Wonbin affectionately nuzzled his head into your neck, "Did you miss us?"

"I don't know if miss is the right word. Maybe, noticed your absence is better," you teased back, "Isn't this exciting?"

The three of you took your seats right in the front row of the area you had reserved, you in the middle as you watched your best friends warm up on the ice. The other 5 were all participating in the grand prix final, having had the best results in their assignments of the season and were about to compete in the free skate to determine the medalists. Yours had just finished in the slot before, but you were still awaiting the awarding ceremony, hence you still in your costume.

"I would like to be on there with them," Eunseok grumbled, waving hello to a passing Shotaro, "But getting to watch with you isn't so bad."

"There's more seasons to come," you nudged his elbow, "Everyone's on top form this season."

"Especially you, our newly crowned Grand Prix Final gold medalist," Wonbin excitedly clapped, "Three in a row, how does it feel?"

"Like the pressure is still crushing me," you dismissed, "But thank you, Bin. I'm happy."

You steer the conversation along in a different direction, talking about the boys' program and what you were looking forward to see. Anton had a mean quad combination, meanwhile Shotaro's dance elements and step sequences always blew everyone else out of the park. Although you had watched these routines time after time each season, you never got tired of how talented your best friends were.

"Ah right, you went to Paris right? After your assignment there?" Wonbin asked you suddenly.

Your face flushed beet red immediately, "Oh, how do you know?"

"You posted a picture of the Eiffel Tower on your Instagram," Eunseok butted in, "Who'd you go with?"

"Ah, no one you know. Just stopped by on the way to the airport," you lied through your teeth and you hated that you had to do that, but it was your decision anyway.

Sungchan was nearing your side of the stands, and he slowed down significantly as he sent the three of you a wave. You hadn't seen him yet since the end of your free skate that crowned you gold medalist, since he had to prepare to be on the ice immediately afterwards.

"Something's up with Sungchan these days," Wonbin began, eyes trained on the tall figure skating away.

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm not sure," he replied, "But he's like, uh, happier these days? But also more secretive? He's always on his phone and smiling at it and he always sighs when we mention setting him up on a date. Do you think he has a girlfriend he's keeping from us?"

Eunseok nodded along, "I've been noticing that too, actually. What do you think Y/N?"

Your ears flushed red and you prayed they wouldn't notice as you kept your eyes on the boys warming up, "Why are you asking me? You guys spend the most time with him. Plus, why don't you just ask him yourself or wait for him to tell you?"

In all honesty, you were burning with guilt about keeping such a huge secret from the boys, but you and Sungchan were suddenly treading into new territory that you wanted to navigate together first before anything else.

"When we ask him he just changes the topic," Wonbin answered, "To be honest, I thought he had a crush on you. We all did."

"Me?" you exclaimed, looking between the two of them nodding.

"He always talks about you and we thought that was so weird considering you two didn't even seem that close. Channie always asks Taro how you are and we're like: 'why don't you text her yourself?' and then he gets all shy and flustered," Eunseok rambled, "But I guess not."

"Yeah," you trailed off the word, decidedly ending the conversation as the boys evacuated the rink for the first skate.

The thought of Sungchan asking the boys about you made you feel some way- happy, maybe? It was so adorable that he thought of you and that texting you made him shy. You weren't stupid- Sungchan made his intentions clear towards you, but the two of you drew a line and stayed behind it, so you weren't sure what to think. These days, it seemed like Sungchan was destroying that line inch by inch.

Anton was first to skate, so the three of you focused your attention to him instead. A grand prix final with 5 of your best friends was definitely conflicting, but the boys all agreed to never get angry or too competitive with each other and just cheer for each other. Whoever won, won and that was that.

You were glad that all the boys were making it through their programs cleanly and the scores were all in such close proximity to each other that it was actually unclear who might win. Sungchan was last to skate by luck of the draw and by the time it was his turn, you were nearly biting your nails off in anticipation.

While you try not to have favourites between the boys, considering them all to be equally talented in their own ways, Sungchan just had a way of skating that spoke to you. You determined this even before your arrangement.

For a skater his height, he was incredibly graceful with long limbs creating beautiful lines and silhouettes. Despite his abnormally broad shoulders, his jumps were well balanced and tight, and his athleticism made all of them look so easy. His choreographer and coach really used all of his features and abilities to create the most visually stunning and technically superb skate.

"Hyung's been on fire this season," Wonbin muttered beside you, in awe of his friend that was so magnificently treading the ice.

"He's incredible," you agreed softly.

Sungchan was incredibly passionate about figure skating. Of course, you all were since it was your careers and if you didn't love what you were doing, you would quickly burn out. He just had this fire in him that you hadn't seen reflected in other people in a very long time, and that's what you admired about him.

Pushing your own feelings for him aside, you watched him intently as he led up to the most difficult skill in his arsenal- the three of you in the stands all linked arms and muttered prayers and pleadings. It felt like you were on the ice instead- you couldn't breathe until it was over.

"1, 2," you counted under your breath as he took off into his quad lutz. It was almost as if you watched him jump in slow motion, counting every turn until he landed, switched sides of his blades with an euler, before taking off into his triple flip.

You were still holding your breath when Wonbin and Eunseok dragged you up as they jumped up to cheer and whoop at the clean landing and combination. Jung Sungchan was truly one of a kind.

"He's so good," Wonbin squealed as you sat back down to watch him finish off his program, "Crazy good."

You're completely captivated by him for the rest of his skate and it even takes your coach multiple tries to catch your attention to tell you to come down to prepare for the victory ceremony. You plead to wait until Sungchan finished his skate and she just clicks her tongue and gives you a knowing smile.

The rest of the event goes by in a whirlwind, accepting your medals and flowers and taking pictures with your fellow medallists. You speak to some media and change into your comfier clothes, relaxing in your self-prescribed dressing room, which was just an empty room with a table and a couple of chairs.

A knock at the door snapped you out of your trance thinking about your program, and you shouted for them to come in.

"My gold medalist," Sungchan grinned over at you from the door as you jumped up to greet him. He's holding a gorgeous arrangement of flowers in his arms, extending it to you once more, "A gift from us."

You took the flowers, admiring the colours and the smell, before placing it down with the other gifts and your medal, "You guys are always so sweet to me. Congratulations to you as well; that was one of the best programs i've seen in my life!"

"Thank you, Y/N. And Taro says you're our only ice princess so we should spoil you," Sungchan chuckled, slowly approaching you closer and closer, "Anyway, they asked me to come and get you so we can go and get dinner together."

"They asked or you volunteered?"

A smirk took over his face, "Now why would I want to get you alone?"

"Who knows?" you teased as his large hands cupped your cheeks and guided your face to his. All tiredness left your body as you melted into his kiss and you wished that time would stop so you could do this forever.

He captured your lips with his own soft and plump lips, nibbling and kissing so softly and delicately, as if he would break you. It was worlds away from the way you two would make out ferociously in dimly lit hotel rooms after competitions ended at night. It was intentional, sweet and utterly heart-clenching.

"My gorgeous champion," Sungchan murmured against your lips, connecting them again passionately as he snaked his arms around you.

"Channie, we talked about this," you whispered, "We're just getting to know each other still."

Sungchan playfully rolled his eyes and left a fleeting peck before he pulled away, "I know, I know. Let's go before the boys get suspicious?"

He offered out his hand after you picked up all your things and you laced your fingers together and walked out side by side.

⋆｡°✩

PARIS, NOVEMBER 2023

November in the city of love and enlightenment was certainly a chilly ordeal. You were wrapped up in infinite layers, face red and tucked behind a wooly scarf and hat. You would think that since your profession was being around literal ice all day that you would be acclimated to the cold, but Paris was tearing you a new one with its weather.

You and Sungchan were taking a stroll by the River Seine, people watching and basking in each other's quiet company. The thing with Sungchan was that you felt comfortable with him; you's been friends for 6 years anyway, but all this time, you had kept him at arms length in order to protect your heart. Sungchan was still somewhat of a mystery to you- all his thoughts and all his feelings unknown.

"I heard that at night in the summer, they have people play live music here and people will dance along all night," Sungchan sighed, watching the couples stroll by with arms and hands interlocked, bundling together tight to warm each other up.

"That really sounds amazing," you replied, trying to stop yourself imagining dancing with Sungchan by a twinkling river on a cool summer night, "I want to come to Paris again when it's warmer and fully explore it!"

"We should do a trip," Sungchan said and you don't even ask if he meant as a group or just the two of you.

"Y/N?" he called again.

"Hm?"

He stopped to lead you to an empty bench, sitting with a considerable gap away from you before he made the bold move to shuffle closer. Sungchan stared you in the eyes with a longing gaze, "How come you trust me so much? How come you let me stay through your vulnerable moments when I know you don't do that with the others?"

You paused to think momentarily about his question that you'd pondered yourself during sleepless nights many times, "You're always just there. Whenever I end up in a situation like that, you somehow always find me like you have some spider-sense that i'm breaking down. And your presence calms me; you don't even need to say anything," you talked through your thought process slowly, trying to make it make sense in your head as well, "I feel like you understand me well whereas others may feel like I'm self absorbed and selfish for freaking out over such minor mistakes. And I can just feel in my heart that I can trust you. Thank you for always being there for me, Sungchan. I hope I don't burden you with my own breakdowns."

Sungchan smiled shyly, taking your gloved hands between his, "I'm really thankful that you do trust me. Don't ever think that you burden me because I do want to be there for you. Me and the boys hate seeing you so upset, so whatever I can do to help you through is nothing for me; we're in such a demanding field that it's important to have a good support system."

"You guys have really made my career. I don't know how I could have lasted this long without all of you," you emphasised the 'all', hoping he would catch on to your allusion of how special he was to you.

"You know, Y/N," he began, voice suddenly shaking and nervous, "I've been meaning to get some time alone with you in the daytime to talk for a while now."

You chuckled anxiously, "Did you take me to Paris to break up with me? Break up as in end our arrangement?"

"I like you, Y/N," he deadpanned, dismissing your pessimistic comment. Your heart started beating fast instantly, "I really like you and I can't carry on what we have until I tell you. We can move forward however you want: we can end the arrangement or just carry on as we are, but I just wanted to tell you."

His words don't shock you much. You think Sungchan has been confessing in his own little gestures and actions for some time now, but he finally threw the ball in your court.

You looked down at your intertwined hands, smiling softly and exhaled a puff of white frost, "We were bound to fall for each other, right? I just don't want to to hurt you since I've been in a bad place this past few months. I'm slowly getting out of it, but I just don't want to drag you down with me."

"I just want to be by your side," Sungchan whispered gently, "I just want to be able to kiss you in front of the world and call you mine."

"In front of the world?" you teased, ignoring the way your heart was swooning at his sweet confession.

"I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to hide you forever," Sungchan voiced out, "I want to text you how you are and not feel like I'm overstepping and I have so much more of myself I want to give you."

You finally met his eyes again, "Let's make a deal, Jung Sungchan. Let's get to know each other well and more intentionally over the rest of the season and try that out. When it ends, we can think about what's next."

"I like the sound of that," Sungchan grinned, "I can still kiss you though, right? I think I'd die without it. The months between Worlds and your first assignment was hell for me."

"You're so dramatic," you rolled your eyes playfully, nudging your shoulders against his.

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Sungchan?"

"Does that mean you like me back?"

You let out a laugh that Sungchan swears is the best thing he's heard in his life, and you pulled him by your entwined hands, telling him you want to go see the Eiffel Tower.

⋆｡°✩

SOUTH KOREA, APRIL 2024

Shotaro is smiling happily as he placed the orange juice pouch in front of you on the sand. You're sat on a blanket, knees tucked up to your chest as you watched the waves crash against the rocks peacefully. You think it's a good time to swim since the tide might be too strong later.

"Thank you," you coo at your best friend as he laid down beside you, flicking his sunglasses over his eyes.

You pierced the pouch with the straw and let out a happy sigh as the freezing cold juice invaded your taste buds. Late April in the south coast of Korea was thankfully warmer than the previous weeks you spent in Seoul with a new choreographer, piecing together your new program for the upcoming season.

The beach house behind you does very little to block out the sun, considering the sun is shining the opposite way and down to you, so you had made sure to lather up in sunscreen before relaxing on the beach. You had read half your book before Shotaro woke up from his short post-breakfast power nap and decided to join you on the sand.

"I think Anton and Sohee are still asleep cuddling," Shotaro laughed. You had tried to wake up the pair for breakfast, but they had both grumbled and sent you on your way back to the kitchen, nestling into their shared bed even more.

"They can be in charge of lunch then," you huffed, "When's everyone else coming? What time is it?"

"It's only 11:30," he told you, "I think the other 4 are all arriving together soon- maybe around now."

You, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were able to make it first to the beach house that you all booked for a peaceful week and a half trip. You had already stayed the night, but the other boys had commitments that meant they could only come now. It was all fine, since you were there for a pretty long time anyway.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as Shotaro closed his eyes and took in the fresh sea breeze.

"How have you been since Worlds?" Shotaro broke the silence.

"Better, but I'd hate to find out if my happiness only stems from redeeming myself at this year's Worlds," you recounted. The last time you had seen the boys previous to the trip was the Worlds Championship the previous month, the same competition that caused a year-long spiral down into near insanity. Thankfully, you managed to escape scot-free and with a gold medal around your neck.

"How does it feel now stepping onto the ice? Does that dread still overcome you?" Shotaro asked softly.

After your worst skate on the world stage, it had taken you nearly a month to step back onto the ice since every time you attempted, you were instantly tossed back into that moment. It took another month before you even tried attempting your signature triple axel again. At your first assignment, you had felt fear instead of excitement as you began.

"I don't think so," you said lowly, afraid that if you said it with anymore confidence, it would come back to haunt you, "I think i'm on the other side completely. I have you and the boys to thank for that."

Shotaro smiled proudly, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tight affectionately. You missed speaking like this to your best friend, just the two of you- on rooftops, beaches, cafés, ice rinks, diners- spilling your hearts and confiding in each other. You hated that you were still keeping such a big secret from him.

"Hyung? Noona?" you heard a soft voice call out behind you. You turned around to find Anton peeking only his head out of the double doors at the back of the house overlooking the beach, "The others are pulling up!" The two of you shot up, picking up your blanket, your book and your trash before skipping through the sand to reach the house.

You were nervous, quite honestly, but the good kind, which was new for you. You hadn't seen Sungchan since Worlds (though you've stayed much more connected than in the past when apart) and all you could think about was the agreement between the two of you to revise your arrangement once the season had ended. And it has.

However, the talk was still pending.

You joined Sohee and Anton watching from the wide open front door as the boys were getting their bags out of the car trunk and rolling it up the driveway.

"Vacation time!" Seunghan whooped, dancing into the house with his suitcase in tow and a plastic bag filled with clinking glass, "We're going to get fucked up this week!"

"Well hello to you too, Hannie," he approached you with open arms before you were pulled away into another hug.

"Hmph," you were taken by surprise as Wonbin crushed your frame.

"Haven't seen you in ages," he said sadly. He wasn't at Worlds since he had injured himself slightly at 4 Continents before that, so it had been a while.

"How are you?" you poked his arm, "How's the knee?"

"It'll be totally fixed up before the season starts," he dismissed, grinning at you before going to greet the boys. You quickly hugged Eunseok and turned your attention to the last one through the door.

"Sungchan," you quickly enveloped his waist in a tight hug and he wrapped his arms around your neck and leaned down to your ear.

"Hey there," you could feel him smiling, "Missed you."

You pulled away quickly, trying to not be obvious in front of the boys, simply giving him a smile of reciprocation as you all migrated to the living room.

"D'you guys claim rooms already?" Eunseok looked around at the interior of the beach house.

"Hm," Sohee nodded sleepily, "Anton and I took the double bed on the right of the stairs and there's a room with another double across it."

"My room has a single bed and a double so two more of you can stay with me," Shotaro explained, "Then our princess Y/N gets the master bedroom all to herself."

You grinned teasingly at the boys who affectionately cooed at you and your overpacking. Your clothes were all currently sprawled out everywhere since you dug deep into it to find your pyjamas the night before and didn't bother to unpack properly.

"Dibs on the single," Eunseok rushed out, to which the other boys groaned at, "What? Shotaro likes to cuddle at night and I get too hot for that."

"I'll cuddle with you, Hyung," Wonbin said cutely, wrapping his arms and leg around Shotaro's side. Shotaro chuckled and fondly agreed.

"Yay, we're roomies!" Seunghan tugged on Sungchan's arm, "What are we doing today?"

"How about relaxing?" Wonbin groaned, "Sleeping?"

"Yah, you already slept the whole drive down!" Eunseok protested, "We can unpack and then grocery shop?"

The others seemed to decide that was a good idea so you also headed up to your room to sort out your clothes. Normally, you never properly unpacked in the countless hotel rooms you stayed in, since you only every brought your skates, your costumes and a couple of comfortable sweats to lounge in in between skating sessions. However, since you were staying for a while and doing activities (Shotaro made sure to book a place far from any ice skating rinks), you had to bring a lot of clothes.

Leaving your door open as you sat on the wooden floor and arranged your clothes into piles, you saw Eunseok and Wonbin drag their suitcases up the stairs and onto your wing of the house and they peeked in.

"Wow, noona this room is so nice," Wonbin expressed, "You're so lucky."

"Yeah I deserve not having to share with you guys. You're all pigs," you threw a sock at him that he threw right back.

"Guys, come look at the master," Eunseok craned his head and called over to the other boys bringing their bags up. Eunseok and Wonbin crossed the landing to their room to make space for the approaching Seunghan and Sungchan.

"Wow," Sungchan gasped in awe as he traversed the room and past you, "A bay window looking out at the sea?" He clapped happily as he stretched out across the cushions on the bay.

"Yah, get off! It's mine," you pouted, getting up from the floor to check the view outside. Since you arrived after the sun had already set, you didn't get to see what the view was like before and in the morning, Shotaro had dragged you straight down to the kitchen without even letting you do so much as brush your hair.

You could see from the corner of your eye that Seunghan had turned around and closed the door behind him, which left you slightly suspicious.

"Why did he close the door and leave?" Sungchan frowned, sitting up and patting the cushion next to him for you to have a seat. You sat down, twisting your body to examine the view. It was so peaceful and you couldn't wait to see how the sunset would illuminate your room in vivid colours.

"Beats me," you shrugged, "Did you tell them anything? They've been suspicious that you've been dating someone since grand prix final!"

"Yeah, I know. They keep bugging me about it," he rolled his eyes, "But I haven't said anything!"

"Hm," you hummed, "Anyway, how was the drive up?"

"I called shotgun then Eunseok demanded that I stay awake the whole time to keep him company," Sungchan recounted, "Seunghan and Wonbin were completely knocked out in the back, but it was a nice and smooth trip. What have you guys been doing here?"

"We all just explored the house and then went to bed last night pretty quickly, but Taro and I had breakfast and sat on the beach for a bit before you guys came."

Sungchan shuffled over, his hips bumping against yours, "Mhm, sounds nice! We should take a walk on the beach later. A nice long walk on the beach."

"Just us?" you inquired, brow raised.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure how to get you alone without the others being suspicious. This is probably suspicious enough," he pointed at the door, "They're all probably on the other side with their ears pressed against the door."

"We could just tell them," you suggested cautiously, "That we're getting to know each other?"

Sungchan dropped his head onto your shoulder and sighed, "I like keeping this to us. Our own little secret. It's fun for now, but maybe when we get a bit more tired we can tell them. We'll find a way to spend time with each other a little bit, but I guess it's a group vacation after all."

"Yeah, let's not stress," you agreed. Sungchan started playing with your fingers, twisting your rings and measuring up his large hands with yours before he entwined them together. He peered up at you from your shoulder and reached up to press a kiss along your jawline. You rotated your head to look down at him and before you know it, he had stolen a kiss from your lips.

You nudged him off of your body playfully as he tried to lean in for another kiss, "Go unpack! Hannie's gonna get suspicious!"

He feigned displeasure as he got up and stretched high, nearly touching the ceiling, "Mhm, okay, whatever you say. I'll see you later, love."

You bit back a grin, "Bye Channie."

⋆｡°✩

Sungchan is pushing one of the shopping carts as Shotaro and Sohee trailed behind him. In reality, they should be ahead, but they stopped far too often to point at random things and Sungchan was getting impatient. The three of them were on snack duty, while you, Eunseok and Wonbin were on ingredients duty, as you were the best cooks. Anton and Seunghan had skipped away the second you all arrived and every so often passed by and dumped an armful of things in the cart.

"What kind of crisps should we get?" Shotaro placed his hands on his hips and examined the vast wall of options in front of him. He picked out a few, Sohee following also and placed them in the cart.

Sungchan spotted a rare flavour to find, "They have truffle flavour! Let's get this. I think Y/N likes these."

"How'd you know that, hyung?" Sohee questioned, not interrogatively, just nonchalantly.

"Uh- I think she's mentioned it before," Sungchan stammered, "Let's get drinks."

Shotaro shot him an unsure look, but skipped ahead of the cart anyway to find the beverage aisle. From a few aisles down, Sungchan could hear you laughing with Wonbin and Eunseok and he wished he was by your side.

Eventually, you all converged at the checkouts, carts full and wallets about to be emptied, metaphorically. You had chosen a bunch of meats to grill on the patio down to the beach and lots of ingredients to make side dishes and other random things. The three in charge of cooking followed their task diligently, whereas Anton and Seunghan had produced a pool floater, a bunch of water guns and so many hangover sticks that you were all worried about how much Seunghan was going to force everyone to drink.

You returned to the house in two cars, the same groupings as how you came to the house and rapidly unpacked everything.

"Today, Eunseok, Wonbin and Seunghan are in charge of lunch for everyone," Shotaro declared, "We'll take turns making food each mealtime!"

Everyone made noises of agreement, slowly dispersing through the house as the cooks brainstormed what to serve.

"Does anyone want to go on a walk on the beach? I haven't seen it yet," Sungchan queried to no one in particular. Anton and Shotaro had turned around guiltily from where they were crouched under the TV. You could see that they were fiddling with some wires and powering on the console that they brought to the house. Ah, boys.

"Gonna play FIFA," Shotaro held up the game case sheepishly, "Maybe later?"

"I'll come with you now," you offered slowly, "I love the beach!"

Sungchan gave you a knowing smile and turned to Sohee, "What about you?"

Sohee looked up at you and Sungchan and then down to Anton and Shotaro, who had widened their eyes in order to communicate with him. He opened his mouth and spoke hesitantly, "Uh, I wanna play as well. Is it okay?"

"Mhm, suit yourself," Sungchan shrugged, happy on the inside that he had found a way to be alone with you.

The two of you slipped on more suitable footwear and grabbed a few snacks before heading out onto the beach.

(Meanwhile, Shotaro, Anton and Sohee were smirking in the living room, delighted that their own devious plan to get you and Sungchan together was coming into effect.)

"That was easy," Sungchan chuckled as you chose a direction to walk down.

"Surprisingly! You know how much Sohee loves the beach!" you frowned again but shook out the suspicion, "Whatever. I'm happy to spend time with you."

The second you were far enough from clear view from the house, Sungchan had interlaced his fingers with yours, happily swinging your conjoined arms between you. With his other hand, he ran it through his fluffy brown locks and basked in the soft breeze of being down by the ocean.

The beach was fortunately pretty deserted of people, since it wasn't terribly hot in climate yet, but there were a couple of people dotted around closer to the water.

"This is definitely what a healing trip is made of," he sighed contently, "That was a hard season."

Facing your own challenges didn't mean that the boys also weren't experiencing some hardships of their own. You know that Sohee was taking it hard with some injuries and Sungchan had only introduced his hardest combination the season just past, which is never easy.

"We all deserve a little break," you agreed, "To spend time with each other and definitely not talk or think about skating at all."

"What a dream," Sungchan was too elated being on this trip and it had barely begun, "Here with my best friends and my best girl."

You had stopped in your tracks and punched him softly in the chest, "Don't say that!"

He lowered his neck to meet you at your eye-level, "Why? Did it give you butterflies?"

You scoffed, pushing him away from you, but he decided to wrap his arms around you instead and sway your bodies around.

"You're too bold now, Jung Sungchan," you huffed, "Where's the boy that never speaks whenever we're around people? And the boy that blushed every time we kissed in secret?"

"He found out that the girl he liked likes him back and was giving him a chance to woo her off her feet!" Sungchan poked his tongue out at you and finally let you go, returning to your linked hands and continuing to walk.

"Woo?" you laughed at his teasing.

He nodded affirmatively, "Yeah, woo. Have you been woo'ed?"

You looked away for a second, hesitant to be so candid with him, but you figured that if he was so bold, you couldn't let this chance slip away.

"You're my ideal man, Sungchanie," you admitted quietly, "I like everything about you. I like having you by my side."

His face heated up so suddenly, so far removed from the confidence that was radiating off him just seconds ago. His heart was beating out of his chest as he tried to utter his words as casually as possible, "Enough to make me your boyfriend?"

You nibbled on your bottom lip to stop you from freaking out and smiling like a maniac, "Is that a confession? Is this our evaluation?"

"You already know I like you," he affirmed softly, "If you're ready for a relationship and if you're ready to have me in that way, you're in control."

You were still walking, barely looking at each other and too shy.

"Ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me the question," you whined as he seemed to play dumb.

Sungchan grinned down at you, his bambi eyes sparkling in the sun as he shook his hair out of them. He paused your stroll momentarily, turning to face you and closing the distance between your feet.

He nudged his nose against yours, a favourite move of his as he took a deep breath, "Y/N," he began slowly, "Please can I be your boyfriend?"

"Sungchan!" you laughed suddenly, "The question is 'will you be my girlfriend?'"

"That's not enough to express how much I want to be your boyfriend though," he pouted, "Doesn't matter, just give me an answer."

You threw your arms around his neck, still giggling, "Of course you can be my boyfriend, Jung Sungchan. I'm sorry you've been on trial period for like 5 months now."

Sungchan connected his lips to yours, giving you a soft peck, "Don't be sorry. I just wanted to show you how much I wanted to be there for you."

"And thank you for that. I couldn't have gotten through this season without you," you proclaimed gently.

He bumped his shoulders with yours as he took your hand again, "Don't get too sappy. You'll probably hate us by the end of this trip."

"I swear, if you guys don't clean after yourselves and leave the bathroom messy and dirty, I'll kill you all!" you remarked.

Sungchan laughed heartily- a sound that you had grown to adore over the past few months when you would share hushed conversations getting to know each other over the phone at night and calls whenever your schedules aligned. The two of you walked a little further, just talking about your plans for the trip and pointing out the cute, but also the endearingly ugly, dogs that were running around the beach. Eventually, Eunseok had texted you that lunch was nearly cooked and for the two of you to start heading back.

You couldn't believe that you left the beach house in a situationship and came back as a girlfriend! In fact, you probably still hadn't processed the fact that the Jung Sungchan was finally your boyfriend after all these years of creating boundaries and drawing lines to protect yourself and your heart.

All this time, Sungchan was your right person, wrong time, but you were so happy to be able to say that he stayed by your side long enough to become your right person at the right time.

⋆｡°✩

You were breathless and pliant in Sungchan's hold as he pressed feather-light kisses along your neck. He peppered them across your jaw, ending at the corner of your mouth before pulling away.

"Just kiss me," you begged as he smirked above you. Sungchan loved seeing you like this and now that you were officially his, it ignited a new spark in his heart that had always beat for you anyway.

It was past halfway through the beach trip and you had spent the past week lounging around on the beach and exploring the seaside town together. You spent mornings taking walks with the boys, the afternoon sunbathing and relaxing under parasols on the beach and the evening huddled around a bonfire just talking, singing and reminiscing. You were hard-pressed to find time alone with Sungchan, but you didn't mind since you came with the intention to hang out with your best friends and the new season wasn't going into full effect for a few months anyway.

Despite that, Sungchan had been sneaking into your room either before the others woke up or after they went to sleep, usually just to say goodnight and pillow talk, but sometimes to also make out like you were doing now.

Light flooded into the room from the expansive bay window, bathing Sungchan's face in sunlight. His twinkling eyes against his golden skin made you want to stare in them forever.

You were snapped out of your daydream when you heard a door click open and then close behind someone, and then footsteps on the hardwood floor. You pushed Sungchan off of you and he rushed over to sit at the bay window while you straightened out your bed and your clothes to give the illusion that your boyfriend hadn't been attacking you with his lips for the past half an hour.

You could hear a few more doors open and then close, before a knock on your door sounded out. Gingerly, you shuffled to your door and peeked out to find a sleepy and dishevelled Seunghan.

"Noona, have you seen Sungchan-hyung? He's not in bed," he was blinking slowly, as if trying to adjust to the natural light in your room. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, you opened the door wider and pointed sheepishly at the missing boy.

"Hey, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so me and Y/N were just talking and planning the day," Sungchan hummed as casually as he could muster up, "Do you need something?"

You let Seunghan inside your room and he immediately collapsed on your four-poster bed, sighing as he felt the soft sheets hit his head, "Nah, just wondering where you went and if you guys suddenly all decided to wake up and do something without me."

"You know everyone's so hard to get up in the morning," you mused, "Sungchan and I are the only morning people."

"You must have got closer then," Seunghan mumbled to himself, eyes fluttering shut, "That's good, noona. You weren't always as close to hyung."

You sat criss-cross next to his body as you shot Sungchan a pointed look. Was this the time you were going to reveal your relationship to the others? Sneaking around for the past week had been exhilarating, but it did weigh on the two of you to keep such a big secret from them. 

"We're going to the fair today, right?" he carried on, breaking the tension between you and your boyfriend.

"Mhm, so you better get up and wake the others up so we can have breakfast and get going," you told him as he groaned. Sungchan was just smiling at you lazily from the window, watching your sweet and maternal interaction with the younger boy. You prodded Seunghan a few more times before he finally rolled away and off the bed and Sungchan followed him out of the door, giving you a small wave goodbye.

You slowly got yourself ready for the day ahead, knowing it was going to take a while before all 7 of the boys could wake up and get refreshed enough to leave. By the time you were done, the youngest ones were preparing breakfast in the kitchen, singing along to the song on the radio perched on a floating shelf.

"Need any help?" you cast your eyes over Sohee and Anton who grinned happily as they saw you for the first time.

"Mhm, no," Sohee assured you, leading you to the already set dining table and pointing at the food, "We're nearly done so you can just wait for us or start eating if you want."

For the duration of the entire trip, it seemed like the boys were determined to not let you lift a finger. Although you were happy to help in cooking and cleaning, every time you were on the rotation, whoever was with you would work hard and take a lot of your work off you. Then again, the boys had always been sweet to you. Of course, they were funny, teasing and ridiculous, but at the core of it, they treated you like their little sister even though you were older than most of them. You really think that you couldn't have lucked out more with a friendship group and found family.

Anton served an over hard egg on your plate and you noticed that the rest on the serving plate was filled with sunny-side up eggs. See, they even paid attention to your food preferences.

Seunghan was next to come down, more wide awake than when you saw him last and seemingly energised by the prospect of food. He sat on your right, quickly scooping all of the dishes he wanted but stopping himself from eating until everyone came down.

Wonbin and Shotaro descended next, complaining about how long each other took to shower and get ready, but Eunseok came right behind them hair still dripping, to your chagrin as he made the floors slippery. Sungchan finally came down just moments later and took the empty seat next to you.

"Yay, let's eat!" Anton clapped his hands together as you completed the table.

"Wonbin-hyung, you'll go on the rides with us today, right?" Sohee crunched through his sausage.

"No, you can't force me to do anything," he grumbled and the rest of you chuckled at the man you knew to be so scared of fast and high rides, "I can watch over our stuff if you do go."

That was exactly the coversation you were having 2 hours later as all 8 of you stood in front of the tallest and fastest rollercoaster at the fair. In all honesty, it wasn't even that big and scary considering it was only a small fair that moved around, so the rides had to be simple to deconstruct. Even still, Wonbin planted his feet on the ground and firmly shook his head.

"But there's an uneven number of us," Shotaro whined, tugging at Bin's arm, "C'mon, just this once?"

He pouted and batted his long eyelashes as Anton sighed, "It's okay, I'll stay with hyung. I don't feel that good after that hot dog anyway."

Looking around, all of you had accepted defeat, so you joined the short line for the ride and immediately began grouping yourselves into pairs. At the one amusement park you had joined them at since you guys became friends, you stuck by Shotaro's side the whole time as you were still opening yourself up to the others. This time, you didn't really mind as Sohee linked arms with your boyfriend.

As the line progressed and you were at the front, Eunseok made his way to the back of the pack with you and helped you into the cart before sitting by your side. The climb up was decently steep and you could hear and feel the vibrations of the rails under you. You could also see Sohee still clutching Sungchan's arm and Seunghan and Shotaro preparing to raise their arms up when the ride plummeted.

As it slowly approached the peak, Eunseok cleared his throat, "You guys are pretty obvious, you know?"

You snapped your head so fast that even this rollercoaster couldn't give you the whiplash you gave yourself, "What?"

The ride was so rickety and loud that the boys in front of you couldn't hear you as Eunseok smirked, "You and Channie. Well at least to me you're obvious."

You opened your mouth to say something along the lines of you had no idea what he was talking about, but suddenly the ride dropped and a scream erupted from your throat. From beside you, Eunseok was nearly doubling over in laughter at how he caught you so flustered and shocked.

"Yah, don't run away from me," Eunseok laughed, calling after you as you gave him a pointed stare and ran ahead to catch up to Wonbin and Anton first.

Sungchan with his long strides reached you quickly, "What was that about?"

Anton and Wonbin's eyes were trained on you, so you merely waved your hand and dismissed it, "Nothing, just some nonsense."

You were grateful that Eunseok didn't say anything else when he arrived at the fence the others were waiting at, but for the rest of the fair, he would give you teasing smiles whenever you got so much as remotely close to Sungchan.

The sun was about to set and you were all nearly tired enough to go home. Between the big rides, the boys put on their competitive hats and kept challenging each other to the stalls that were known to be scams. They were probably blowing all of their prize money between them, but you had to keep walking back and forth between the fair and your cars since they were accumulating far too many plushies to hold.

"Just one more," Sungchan pleaded so cutely that you were resigned to say yes to, "Then we can go home after! Song Eunseok! Do this one with me!"

He was tugging on your arm, pointing at the basketball booth before slinging his arm around Eunseok's shoulder and dragging him along. Behind you, the youngests were happily munching on long churro sticks that Shotaro had bought for them, meanwhile he was conversing with Wonbin behind them.

"Loser has to grill all the meat later," Eunseok bargained. It was the two of them on main dinner duty once you returned to the house.

"Well what if we both win?" Sungchan huffed.

"Doubt it," Eunseok chuckled, as he handed over his bills to the booth manager.

You rolled your eyes at their antics- everyone knew that the basketball hoops were oval shaped and the chance of getting a ball in was slim. Even still, they both paid for the highest amount of balls in order to have the chance to win the biggest prize. If they got three balls through the hoop, then they could pick from the large prizes.

The boys finally caught up to you guys and sighed at the competition they saw in front of them. Eunseok was very passionate about basketball and Sungcham was very passionate about winning.

"No cheating," Sungchan swatted at Eunseok, who narrowed his eyes playfully.

They both began, the rest of you cheering them on. Both of them missed their first two shots, and they had to make the last 3 to win the big prize. Surprisingly, they also both were able to shoot the next two together, and were staring each other down as they picked up the last basketball.

"You're going down, Song Eunseok," Sungchan taunted, sticking his tongue out. Eunseok rolled his eyes and decided to shoot first at the hoop. You all watched in anticipation as the ball hit the rim... and then bounced off. Eunseok screamed in defeat and all eyes were turned to Sungchan.

He carefully examined the hoop and decided to just go for it. You were all shocked that it went in!

Sunchan whooped in glee, taunting Eunseok before throwing his arm around your shoulder. That was a pretty normal thing for the other boys to do to you, but it certainly wasn't the way Sungchan used to interact with you.

"You can choose the prize, Y/N," he grinned down at you, pointing at the array of large animal plushies attached around the booth.

You gasped as you laid your eyes on the most perfect choice and you leaned into his touch as you pointed it out, "That one!"

The booth attendant took it off its hook and handed it over to you. Gleefully, you held it up to Sungchan and cooed, "It looks just like you, Channie!"

Sungchan was smiling so dorkily at how the large baby deer plushie was making you so happy, and you were both too busy cooing at the plushie to notice the boys, jaws dropped and watching you.

"Uh," Wonbin uttered, "What's going on here?"

The silence that fell caused you and Sungchan to turn around, and upon realising their reaction, you jumped away from each other, still both holding the plushie.

"What do you mean?" Sungchan scratched his neck awkwardly, "You all got a prize for Y/N earlier. I wanted to as well."

Seunghan nodded slowly, "Okay, okay. Sure. But we just got small prizes."

"Is it my fault that I was good at this?" Sungchan retorted as he began walking your group towards the car park. You scurried behind him, hugging the deer close to your chest.

You fell back a little from Sungchan and slowed your footsteps since the boys behind you started whispering to themselves.

"I think Operation Sung-Y/N is working!" Sohee whisper-hissed. You raised your eyebrow at that. There's no way, right? There's no way that they were doing a whole scheme to set you up together with your boyfriend- not that they know that.

You decided not to confront them and joined Sungchan's side again. He had turned to talk to you, but saw you had slowed down so he had stopped in his tracks and waited for you. Sungchan sighed to himself as he watched you bound over with the plushie. He wished he could be in your embrace the way that plushie was connected to you. Frankly, he should have just told everyone else right then as they got suspicious, but he had a feeling you wanted to do it more lowkey.

Later on that night, Sungchan was lying on top of your sheets as you played with his hair. It was his turn to hug the deer- the only one that made it to your bed as you banished the other plushies the boys gave you onto the windowsill.

The others were all downstairs, either preparing the side dishes and preparing the grill or fighting each other on the playstation.

"We can tell them tomorrow," you sighed happily. his hair was so soft and bouncy that it instantly bounced back to its spot after you ran your hand through it, "And then we'll have 2 days here to act like a couple."

"Ah, two days," Sungchan sighed, "When am I going to see you again after that? I want to take you on a proper date, finally."

You gasped to yourself, bringing your hands to your mouth. Sungchan sat up quickly, eyebrows stitched together in worry, "Oh, what's up? What's wrong?"

You began laughing to yourself and Sungchan looked at you like you had grow two heads, "I forgot to tell you guys completely! I have some news for you all!"

"Ah, what is it?"

"I'm going to train in Seoul this season!"

Sungchan yelped in surprise, suddenly attacking you in a hug down onto the bed, "Oh my gosh, really? Are you serious? It's not a joke right?"

You giggled happily as he attacked your face wiyh kisses, "You know my coach Lina? Well, she's pregnant and she asked if I would be willing to relocate to Seoul so she could be around her family and her husband's family! She wants to receive maternal care here, so," you trailed off.

"Oh my, I'm so happy," Sungchan breathed out, "You mean I won't have to wait months in between competitions to come and see you? I can see you everyday?"

"Hey, you have a skating career too," you poked his chest, "Make sure you focus on that. But if it works, then sure! I'm going apartment hunting as soon as we all drive back up to Seoul!"

Sungchan was so elated, dreaming about all his favourite places that he would take you, "Ah, I think there's an apartment empty in our building. Do you want me to ask our management team?"

The boys all lived in the same building, some of them sharing and some of them living alone since there were various apartment layouts. You recalled that Sungchan lived with Shotaro on the 7th floor of the building, but you had only visited twice before.

You had a thought about declining his offer. Maybe it was moving too fast for you if you moved into his apartment building, but then again, the rest of your friends were there too and it wasn't like you were moving into his room. The thought of having all of them around often and being able to guide you through the city comforted you, so you just gave him an appreciative smile and nodded, "Mhm, that would be nice."

A happy sound escaped his throat and you're certain that moving to Seoul was the best move for you at this stage. Sungchan flipped you around so he was below you and you hovering over him. He brought his hand up to your face, tucking your hair out of your eyes and settling his large palms on your soft cheeks.

He guided your face down and you could feel his breath ghosting over your mouth. Sungchan connected his eyes with yours, "I really, really like you, Y/N. Thank you for giving me a chance."

Stealing his move, you grazed your nose against his, "You tell me that everyday, baby. I really, really like you too. I'm excited for this new season."

It wasn't just a new season of figure skating where you were going to debut new programs. It was a whole new season in your life. It felt like you could finally release yourself from the shackles of the bad moments of your past and start anew- a new country, and a new boyfriend.

He craned his neck up to softly touch your lips together, but he hadn't made any other moves, so you slid your arms around his neck and melted into his chest, parting his lips with yours and deepening the kiss.

You have always loved kissing Sungchan. His kisses seemed to heal every pain and suffering in the world and made you forget even your own name sometimes. He was always a passionate person, tending to your whines and requests whenever you got frustrated and he was teasing you. You don't know how, but since becoming his girlfriend, kissing him felt even better than it did before.

You were so engrossed in each other that you hadn't even heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, or Seunghan's soft calls for you, or his knocking on the door, or the way the door creaked as he opened it.

"Yah!" his scream caused Sungchan to sit up so hard and fast that you fell off of him and onto the floor, "My eyes!"

Sungchan smoothed his clothes out in a panic and yelped in apology as he helped you up from the floor. He scowled at his younger friend, "Do you know how to knock?"

"I did!" Seunghan exclaimed, throwing his hands up, "I even called for you, noona! Ah, I'm so traumatised! How can I get that out of my head?"

Your face must have been as red as the way it flushes when you get drunk as you just watched silently against the bed.

"Hey, what's going on? Hurry up, we wanna eat!" Wonbin appeared behind Seunghan who was still rubbing his eyes, unable to believe what he saw. Wonbin looked at him, confused by his reaction and the yells, "What happened?"

Suddenly, the other 4 boys all came out of nowhere too, crammed in the small hallway and looking between you on the bed, Sungchan closer to the door and Seunghan just on the other side.

"I caught them," Seunghan dramatically screeched, throwing his arms around Wonbin, "I caught them!"

"Caught them doing what?" Shotaro frowned.

"Making out!" Seunghan screamed, to which the rest of the boys started yelling in surprise too, suddenly firing questions at you and Sungchan, who was looking worriedly and apologetically at you.

"I knew it!" Eunseok smirked.

"Oh my God?" Anton gasped quietly and Sohee was mirroring his reaction.

"Are you guys fucking?" Seunghan was still dramatically wailing.

Sungchan scoffed, offended, "No! Well-" he looked at you, giving you the choice to give as much information.

"We're in a relationship," you revealed softly, laughing at their dropped jaws, "Well, only since the trip. We've been getting to know each other since Paris."

"Paris?" Wonbin gawked, "Paris? So when we asked you who you went to Paris with and you said no one, you actually were with Sungchan-hyung?"

"Yeah," you tilted your head and scratched the back of your neck, "Sorry for some white lies we've had to tell. We just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit, navigate new territories and make sure it doesn't affect our friendship with you guys."

Shotaro stepped into the room, huddling over to give you a hug, "Well we're all happy for you both. Besides, we were all conspiring to set you two up this trip."

"We were so proud at how well it was working," Sohee cried out, "Turns out we're the fools!"

You think back through the trip at the instances they created to get you alone together, whether it was taking quick trips to the grocery store because they 'forgot' an ingredient, or just leaving you two behind whenever you were walking and relaxing on the beach. You were thankful the boys were so silly to create a plan like that, otherwise you couldn't have spent so much time with your new boyfriend on the healing trip.

"It's okay guys," Sungchan grinned lopsidedly, "It was funny to watch." "Um," Seunghan interrupted, "I actually came up cause I was coming to tell you that dinner was ready."

Eunseok nodded, turning on his heel, "Yeah, I'm really hungry. Can we talk about this over barbecue instead?"

The rest of the boys nodded in agreement, making their way down the stairs. You sighed heavily, looking at Sungchan who placed a loving kiss on your hair, "That was so chaotic. Are we okay, though?"

You smiled up at him and took his hand pulling you up, "More than okay. They were bound to find out and they're all so happy about it."

Sungchan splayed his palm against yours and then locked your fingers together, "Ah, wait til you tell them about moving to Seoul. They'll forget this news instantly!"

You let the grin invade your face as you happily imagined the way they'd cheer and instantly bombard you with outings to do and places to visit together in Seoul. You were definitely certain now that your relationship with Sungchan wasn't going to change your friendship.

"Lovers, come on!" Eunseok yelled up the stairs, "The food is getting cold so stop making out!"

Well, maybe a little bit. But as long as you were able to call Sungchan yours, you were sure you could endure anything.

--------------------------

a/n: thank you for reading:) pls let me know what you think<3

[mononijikayu]

treasure in the sea — fushiguro toji.

“Okay, then, Toji….” you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. “What’s the most complicated thing in your life right now?” He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. “You asking me that, here of all places, doll.” he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth. You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. “What do you mean?” Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blue–green eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. “You, probably.”

GENRE: alternate universe - modern au!;

WARNING/S: not safe for work (nsfw), r-18, angst, fluff, first love, friends to lovers, romance, love, drama, hurt/comfort, break up, college sweethearts, smut, kissing, oral receiving, implied p-i-v sex, sexual intercourse, pining, hurt, happy ending, domestic, loss, death, grief character death, guilt, parenthood, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of pining, depiction of parenthood, depiction of guilt, depiction of grief, depiction of character death, depiction of break up, mention of parting, mention of the past, mention of character death, mention of drug overdose, mention of sexual acts and conducts, dad!toji, mom! reader, son! megumi;

WORD COUNT: 14k words

NOTE: i can't believe that toji finally won a poll and with a massive lead. i loved writing this a lot and this was so exciting to write. this was based on this japanese show called umi no hajimari and i adored the show. everything about this was just so lovely. i feel like toji in canon did love megumi and mamaguro a lot, so i wanted it to translate here no matter what. there is smut here so this is a prelude to the kinktober event that starts on october 4th, 2024. i hope you enjoy that too!!! anyway, i love you all <3

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if you want to, tip! <3

IT WAS LIKE FATE LET THIS HAPPEN. In the bustling crowd of students gathering around tables covered with colorful fliers, you spotted him: Zenin Toji, standing tall and frigid, looking somewhat out of place, his eyes scanning the scene as if he wasn’t quite sure where he wanted to be. 

Meanwhile, you, shorter and bright eyed, were grabbing every flier you could find, from the Art Club to Ultimate Frisbee. It was quite crazy, to see you grab them with a smile on your face over and over in a speed he couldn’t keep up with. Toji noticed your enthusiasm, probably confused by the sheer number of papers you were collecting.

You exchanged a glance, a brief nod and a small smile. But it was clear he wasn’t sure about the whole "college club" thing. He wasn’t even sure about joining school clubs in high school.

He lingered at a few tables, undecided, but eventually, you lost sight of him in the crowd as you moved on to collect more fliers and started mingling with the upperclassmen managing the booths accommodating the freshmen. Toji thought you were a dream, a moment’s notice. And yet, what he didn’t realize is that you were anything but that.

Later that evening, you attended a dinner event hosted for various clubs, a casual mixer where students could gather, chat, and get a feel for different groups on campus. To get used to college life. The room buzzed with laughter and conversation, and tables were spread with club brochures, each one trying to outshine the others to attract new members. 

You had settled at a table near the center, surrounded by people engaged in light conversation, but your thoughts kept drifting. You had collected a few fliers from the clubs you were curious about, but you still felt undecided. Well, they all had mixers in the upcoming days. So, you wanted to judge them by eating at the restaurants they went to. The better the food, the better you feel about the club!

As you chatted politely with a few others, you caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of your eye. That tall boy with that obnoxious gaze. Zenin Toji, who you'd seen earlier in the day looking equally disinterested, was seated a few tables away. His broad frame slouched back casually, yet something about his presence felt charged. The rest of the room seemed to fade for a moment as he caught your eye. A slow, playful smirk curled on his lips.

Before you could react, Toji stood and approached your table. Without hesitation, he plopped down into the empty seat beside you. "Still hoarding fliers?" he teased, his voice low and amused.

You glanced at the stack of fliers you had gathered, caught off guard by his casual confidence. “I guess I am.” you said with a small smile, half-laughing at his remark, trying to shake off the flustered feeling his sudden closeness brought. His presence seemed to shift the mood, drawing your focus entirely to him, while the rest of the room hummed in the background.

Toji leaned back in his chair, his gaze flicking between you and the fliers, clearly finding humor in your indecision. “Any standouts, or are you just collecting paper at this point?”

The playful banter had a magnetic pull, and despite not knowing much about him, you found yourself leaning into the conversation.

You shifted in your seat, the weight of his presence drawing you in despite the crowded room. “A little of both, I think.” you replied with a smirk, trying to match his easygoing attitude. You glanced at the fliers in your hand, suddenly self-conscious. “I’ve narrowed it down to a few, but… haven’t quite committed.”

Toji chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Commitment issues, huh?”

You shot him a playful glare. “Maybe I just like to weigh my options. I mean, the better the food, the better the shot.”

His smirk widened, and he leaned in slightly, his arm resting on the back of your chair. “Or maybe you’re overthinking it.” he said, his voice dipping lower, more personal. “Sometimes it’s better to just pick something and see what happens.”

The sudden shift in his tone sent a ripple of warmth through you, his casual confidence making it hard to resist the pull of the conversation. He didn’t seem like the type to overthink anything, which was probably why he intrigued you so much. Toji was all instinct and ease, a stark contrast to your careful, measured approach to things.

“Is that what you did?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Just pick a club and see where it takes you?”

Toji glanced around the room, as if he hadn’t really considered joining anything until now. “I haven’t picked anything yet,” he admitted, leaning back again, his arm still casually draped behind you. “Not sure if I will.”

You tilted your head, curiosity getting the better of you. “So why are you here then?”

He shrugged, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Maybe I was waiting to see what you’d pick.”

The comment caught you off guard, and you felt a faint blush rise to your cheeks. His teasing was effortless, and it disarmed you more than you cared to admit. “Oh, so now I’m the deciding factor?” you asked, trying to deflect with humor, but your heart skipped a beat at the playful challenge in his words.

“Looks like it.” he replied smoothly, his eyes holding yours for a moment longer than necessary. There was something unspoken in the air between you, an electric undercurrent that neither of you acknowledged but both clearly felt. Toji’s laid-back demeanor only heightened the tension, making it hard to look away from him.

Before you could respond, the conversation around the table picked up, a few people asking you about the clubs you’d been considering. You answered politely, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Toji, who remained seated comfortably beside you, like he had no intention of leaving anytime soon.

As the evening wore on, you found yourself more and more aware of his presence—the way he occasionally leaned in to comment on something, his quiet observations that made you laugh, the subtle glances he threw your way. There was an ease to his company that surprised you, like you’d known him longer than just this fleeting encounter.

Eventually, the mixer began winding down, and people started to gather their things, heading out in groups or saying goodbyes. Toji stretched lazily beside you, his smirk still lingering.

“So, have you made up your mind yet?” he asked, glancing at the fliers one last time.

You held them up, looking between him and the colorful pages. “Maybe I’ll just join the one you do.”

Toji raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Now you’re the one following me?”

You shrugged, playing it off, but there was a spark of genuine interest behind your words. “Maybe I just want to see what happens.”

For a second, he looked at you like he was trying to figure you out, then his smirk softened into something more thoughtful. “Guess we’ll both find out, then…doll.” he said, standing up and offering you a hand.

You took it, feeling the warmth of his grip, and as you stood beside him, the energy between you shifted slightly. It wasn’t just playful teasing anymore—there was something real in the air, an unspoken understanding that this chance encounter might be the start of something neither of you had planned.

You stood there for a moment, hand still in his, feeling the weight of the moment linger between you both. Toji's grip was warm, firm but casual, and even as he let go, the imprint of that brief touch stayed with you. He glanced around the room, as if assessing how much time was left before the evening fully wrapped up, then turned back to you with a raised eyebrow.

“So…..” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Since you’re so indecisive about clubs, maybe we should keep in touch. In case you need more advice.”

You caught the playful glint in his eye, but there was an undercurrent of something genuine there too. Without really thinking it through, you reached for your phone. “Yeah, advice. That’s what I need, hm?” you joked, handing him your phone with a smirk.

Toji took it without hesitation, his fingers moving quickly as he typed in his number. He handed it back to you, and you glanced down to see his contact saved simply as Toji. No last name, just that. There was something almost intimate about the simplicity of it. He shot you a lopsided grin.

“Now you can bug me about which club to join, doll.” he teased, but his tone was soft, almost like he was saying more than his words let on.

You saved your number in his phone in return, noticing how natural it felt to exchange numbers with him, like this wasn’t the first time you’d done this. Maybe it was the easy way he carried himself, or the way his smirk softened when he looked at you, but it felt… effortless. You weren’t sure what that meant yet, but you liked it.

As you handed back his phone, you found yourself lingering, caught in the moment between what this was and what it could become. “I’ll hold you to that, you know. The advice.” you said lightly, breaking the tension but not quite dispelling it. Your gaze lingered towards him for a little too long. “You better answer, okay?”

Toji chuckled, his eyes glancing over your face like he was committing it to memory. “Why wouldn’t I?” he snickers back at you. “That means I’ll be hearing from you soon.”

The way he said it wasn’t a question—it was a certainty. Something about the confidence in his words sent a ripple through you. You nodded, feeling a smile tug at your lips as you tried to play it cool. “Maybe sooner than you think.”

He laughed quietly, clearly enjoying this little back-and-forth. “I’ll keep my phone close, then.”

Just as the room started to clear out, Toji took a small step closer, his voice lowering slightly. “See you around… and don’t overthink it. I’ve got a feeling you’re not as indecisive as you make yourself out to be.”

There was something almost intimate in the way he said it, like he saw through your front and into something deeper. Before you could reply, Toji gave you one last smirk, a teasing glance, then turned and walked toward the door, disappearing into the flow of people heading out.

You stood there for a moment, watching him go, your phone still in hand, his number glowing on the screen. The mixer’s noise buzzed in the background, but your mind was elsewhere, still caught on the feeling of that exchange—light and playful on the surface, but weighted with possibility underneath.

As you finally made your way to the exit, you found yourself thinking back on his words, the certainty in them. Maybe you weren’t as undecided as you thought. Or maybe Toji was the push you didn’t realize you needed.

Later, as you stepped into the cool evening air, your phone buzzed in your hand. A message flashed on the screen.

Toji: Already overthinking things?

You smiled to yourself, feeling the warmth of anticipation in your chest. Maybe this was the start of something, after all.

EVERYTHING QUICKLY STARTED FROM THERE. From that night, your friendship with Zenin Toji developed naturally, like you’d always known each other. You quickly fell into a rhythm of hanging out at various club events together, even though Zenin Toji never quite settled on joining any one group. 

He showed up with his usual laid-back grin, fliers still folded in his pocket, but it didn’t matter. The bond you formed over your shared indecision—and the string of free dinners at the events—was enough to keep you together. It was easy, lighthearted, the way you could sit with him at these gatherings and slip into conversation like you were old friends.

Toji was an engineering major, which surprised you at first, given his carefree attitude and lack of outward focus. He rarely talked about school, yet somehow, you could picture him excelling in that structured world of machines, calculations, and practical problems. In contrast, you were a classical music major, your world filled with compositions, performances, and delicate precision. It seemed like a strange match on the surface, but somehow, the two of you worked.

The more time you spent together, the more you realized that Toji had a knack for grounding you in ways you didn’t expect. When you’d get lost in your head, agonizing over pieces of music or second-guessing your choices, Toji had a way of cutting through the noise with his straightforward advice. “Don’t think so hard, doll.” he’d say, almost like it was the simplest thing in the world. And sometimes, it was.

Weeks turned into months, and your connection with him deepened. You found yourself spending more time outside of the club events, drawn together by your shared love for adventure. It became almost a tradition between the two of you.

The spontaneous outings where neither of you planned ahead, just picking up and going somewhere on a whim. Toji had this effortless energy about him that made you want to say yes to everything, even things you wouldn’t normally do. There was something freeing about being around him, like he gave you permission to let go of the structure you were so used to.

One of his favorite places to take you was the sea. You weren’t sure how it had come up the first time, but maybe during a casual conversation, or maybe you had mentioned it while reminiscing about the littlest of things, from your childhood memories to what shape of the cloud you think you see. 

But once Toji knew you had a deep connection to the ocean, he made a point of driving you there whenever he could. There was a stretch of coastline a couple of hours away, not too far but far enough to feel like an escape from the routine of classes and rehearsals.

The first time he took you, you had been stressed over an upcoming recital, feeling the weight of expectation pressing down on you. Toji had sensed it, of course, and in his usual no-nonsense way, he simply said, “Let’s go.”

The drive was quiet at first, filled with the sound of the engine and the open road. But as the scenery changed from city streets to winding coastal roads, you felt yourself relax, your worries melting away in the face of the endless horizon. When you finally arrived, the sea stretched out before you like an open invitation, the salty air filling your lungs and the rhythmic crashing of the waves soothing something deep inside you.

It was on that shore that you realized how much Toji meant to you. He didn’t say much, didn’t need to. He just stood there beside you, hands in his pockets, letting you have the space to breathe. His presence was steady, grounding, like the ocean itself—a constant in your life that you hadn’t known you needed.

Over the months, those trips became your refuge. Whenever things get overwhelming; whether it was school, life, or the inevitable chaos that comes with growing up—Toji would drop whatever he was doing at the time and drive you to the sea. You’d spend hours walking along the beach, talking about everything and nothing. 

Sometimes you’d sit in silence, both of you content just to be there, feeling the wind on your faces and the cool sand beneath your feet. It was sometimes better, enjoying each other’s company. Other times, you’d talk late into the night, sharing stories from your childhoods, dreams for the future, and even the occasional fear that lingered in the back of your mind.

For Toji, the sea seemed to bring out a different side of him—a quieter, more reflective side. It was during these trips that he’d let his guard down, offering glimpses into his life beyond the cool, carefree persona he usually wore. 

You learned that he’d grown up near the ocean, that it had been his escape as a kid, a place where he could forget the troubles waiting for him at home. He never went into too much detail, but you could hear it in his voice—the weight of something unspoken, a part of him that he wasn’t quite ready to share yet.

For you, the sea was a place of peace. It reminded you of childhood summers spent by the shore, of simpler times when the only thing that mattered was the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand between your toes. Being there with Toji brought back that sense of calm, of being anchored in the present, and you found yourself growing more and more attached to those moments together.

Your friendship was effortless, but there was something else growing between you, something that neither of you had acknowledged out loud yet. It lingered in the spaces between your conversations, in the way Toji would glance at you when you weren’t looking, or the way your heart would skip a beat when his hand brushed against yours as you walked along the shore. It wasn’t just friendship anymore—it was something deeper, something that made your time together feel heavier, more significant.

But for now, you didn’t push it. You let things unfold as they would, trusting that whatever was happening between you and Toji would make itself known in time. And until then, you were content to keep taking those spontaneous trips to the sea, finding peace in each other’s company, knowing that somehow, no matter where you were, you always found your way back to him.

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the water as you and Toji waded into the sea. The cool waves lapped at your ankles, sending shivers up your spine as you walked further in, side by side. The gentle roar of the ocean filled the space between you, and for a while, neither of you spoke, simply enjoying the serenity of the moment.

The sea had become your shared escape, a place where words weren’t always needed but somehow always found their way into the quiet moments. Toji was waist-deep now, his eyes fixed on the horizon, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.

“You always get this serious when we’re out here, you know?” you said, splashing a bit of water in his direction, hoping to break the quiet spell. “What are you thinking about?”

He glanced over at you, dodging the splash with ease. “The ocean does that to me, doll.” he admitted. “Makes you feel small, doesn’t it?”

You nodded, understanding what he meant. “Yeah, but in a good way. Like nothing else matters out here.”

Toji tilted his head slightly, considering your words. His usual laid-back attitude softened, replaced by that contemplative side he only seemed to show when you were near the water. “Maybe that’s why I keep bringing you here, doll.” he said, his voice quieter now, almost drowned out by the sound of the waves. “Keeps things simple.”

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had nothing to do with the sun’s fading rays. “You do like things simple, don’t you?”

Toji gave a half-shrug, the corner of his mouth quivering. “Not everything, doll. I thought you knew that.”

There was a pause, and his words hung in the air between you. The two of you had been dancing around something for months now, that unspoken connection that neither of you had fully acknowledged. The tension between friendship and something more had always been there, simmering beneath the surface like the waves that rolled in at your feet.

“Okay, then, Toji….” you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. “What’s the most complicated thing in your life right now?”

He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. “You asking me that, here of all places, doll.” he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth.

You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. “What do you mean?”

Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blue–green eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. “You, probably.”

Your breath caught for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. He wasn’t joking, not this time. There was no playful smirk, no light teasing. He was being honest in that way only Toji could be—blunt, to the point, but with a tenderness you weren’t used to seeing from him.

You swallowed, suddenly feeling the depth of the water around you, the way it mirrored the depth of what was happening between you two. “I didn’t think I was that complicated.” you managed to say, your voice soft but laced with a nervous laugh.

Toji took a step closer, the water swirling around his waist, but the space between you felt even more significant. “You’re not. You never have been.” he said. “But what I feel for you? That’s the complicated part.”

His words sent a jolt through you, and your heart started pounding in your chest. The two of you had spent months building this connection, this unspoken bond, and now—here, in the middle of the sea, surrounded by nothing but water and the fading light of the evening—he was finally saying it out loud.

“I wasn’t sure in the beginning, doll.” Toji continued, his voice still low, careful, like he was treading new ground. “At first, I thought it was just us hanging out, being friends. But then… I don’t know. The more time I spent with you, the harder it got to keep things simple. And it all just….it just stopped becoming clear.”

You felt the pull between you growing stronger, the unspoken tension finally surfacing. It had been there all along, in the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching, in the way his casual touches lingered just a little too long. You could feel your heart beating out your chest, your eyes tense as you looked at him.

“Toji….” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I feel it too.”

He didn’t say anything right away, but the relief that washed over his face was unmistakable. It was as though the tension disappeared as his shoulders dropped. The waves lapped gently at your legs, the soft push and pull mirroring the emotions between you. Toji stepped even closer, so close now that you could feel the warmth of his presence despite the cool water surrounding you both.

“I don’t do complicated things, doll.” he said, his bright beautiful eyes locking onto yours.“but I’m willing to try if it’s with you.”

The vulnerability in his words hit you like a wave. Toji, the man who seemed so laid-back and sure of himself, was standing here, opening up in a way you hadn’t expected. He was offering you something real, something he didn’t give easily.

You reached out, letting your hand find his beneath the water, your fingers intertwining with his. “I don’t need simple.” you said, smiling softly. “Well, not without you. I just…. need you.”

For a moment, the world seemed to fall away, the only sound the steady crash of the waves, the only feeling the warmth of his hand in yours. Toji’s gaze softened, and in that moment, it felt like something between you had finally clicked into place. Something unspoken, something that had always been there, was now laid bare between you.

He smiled then, that familiar, easy grin, but this time, it was softer, more genuine. “Guess that settles it, huh?”

You laughed, feeling the tension finally break, replaced by a sense of peace that only the sea and Toji—could give you. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

And as the two of you stood there, hand in hand, the sun setting behind you, the waves rolling gently at your feet, it felt like the beginning of something new—something neither of you could predict but both of you were ready to dive into together.

IT WAS LIKE FLOATING IN THE CLOUDS, EVERYTHING AFTER THAT. After that day at the sea, things between you and Toji shifted into something deeper. You started dating officially, but it wasn’t much different from before, just more intentional. You went everywhere together—spontaneous weekend trips, late-night diner runs, quiet evenings at your place with takeout and music playing in the background. 

He made you laugh like no one else could, and you found yourself feeling lighter in his presence. No one could make you feel this happy. Not anyone. Just your Toji. After that day at the sea, everything changed between you and Toji, but in the most natural way.

The shift wasn’t abrupt—it was like everything you both had been dancing around finally clicked into place. You were officially together now, but it didn’t feel that different from before, except for the fact that everything seemed more deliberate, more real.

Dating Toji was a blend of excitement and comfort. You found yourselves constantly making spontaneous decisions, from late-night drives to nowhere, to impromptu weekend getaways. He had this knack for making every moment feel like an adventure, even if all you were doing was stopping by a hole-in-the-wall diner at 2 AM for greasy burgers and fries. Somehow, the world felt bigger with him, like there was always something new to discover as long as he was by your side.

The quiet moments became just as meaningful. You’d sit together at your apartment, the dim glow of the city outside your windows, takeout containers spread across the coffee table as some old-school vinyl hummed softly in the background. Toji wasn’t one for endless conversation, but when he did speak, it was either to crack a joke that left you laughing uncontrollably or to say something so unexpectedly sincere that it left you speechless.

And the way he looked at you, with those sharp eyes softened just for you, made your heart race in a way no one else ever could. He had this rough exterior, intimidating to most, but with you, he was different—gentler in a way that seemed reserved for you alone. There were times when he’d pull you close without a word, his arms wrapped around you, as if to remind you that he wasn’t going anywhere, that you were his, and he was yours.

You never realized how easy happiness could feel until him. Sure, life had its ups and downs, but with Toji, the weight of the world seemed lighter. He made you laugh like no one else ever could, often in the simplest, silliest ways. Whether it was his dry humor or those stupid pranks he'd pull just to see you roll your eyes—everything about him had the power to brighten your day.

And then there were the quieter realizations, the ones that snuck up on you when you least expected it. Like when you’d catch him glancing at you from across the room, and there was something so tender in his gaze that it almost took your breath away. Or when he’d grab your hand in a crowded place, lacing his fingers through yours as if it were second nature, making you feel like the safest person in the world.

The truth was, no one made you feel the way Toji did. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but neither were you, and that was what made it work. There was no pretense with him, no need to hide or hold back. He saw you for who you were, accepted you, and made you feel like you were more than enough. In his presence, you felt lighter, freer, like everything was easier when you were together.

No one else could do that. Not anyone. Just your Toji.

He was your person, your unexpected joy, and as things deepened between you, you realized that he had become so much more than just a part of your life. He was your home.

He was at your place again after finals. It was like a magnetic pull; he couldn’t stay away from you, even after the grueling physical test that left him spent and drenched in sweat. Yet, here he was—unbothered by his disheveled state. His body craved yours, and you could sense that same hunger in yourself. You had been waiting, yearning to close the distance, to touch him, taste him—everything.

As your boyfriend’s hand tenderly wrapped around your wrist, he tried with all his might to stop you. He had that surprised look on his face, almost as though he’d been caught off guard. You could feel your boyfriend's grip firm but almost too careful, almost too cautious. You looked at him with those bright doe eyes.

“Doll, what are you doing? I’m supposed to be the one to go down on you—”

You didn’t let him finish at all, leaning towards him and kissing him passionately. You smiled against the way he kissed you back, his palm touching your cheek as the gravitational pull drew you both closer, deeper and deeper into the kiss. You parted your lips from him and took a moment to pull his hand away from your wrist. It was strong but tenderly gentle. You shove it away. You slowly knelt in front of him.

“Let me do this first. Please.”

Toji could feel his breath hitch deeply. All he could feel at that moment was the way his knees trembled. He was sure that he was feeling it. It was too obvious. Everything about this was giving away the struggle between resistance and desire. 

“Here? In your kitchen, doll?” His voice cracked slightly, weary hesitance betrayed by the heat that cut through the reverberation of words. His blue–green eyes darted down to where you were, your hardened resolve so clear, and then back to him with a wanton glance at the sweat on his bright tan skin. “You can’t be serious, I have to cook our dinner now—”

“Please. Now.”

“Now?” Toji's question was more like a whisper, a mix of confusion and longing. It was as though he wasn’t sure if he should stop you or let you take him, right there, without a second thought. It was as though he was having a hard time figuring it out. “I can’t…I can’t just have you do this in the kitchen. It’s not even clean….”

His body told you all you needed to know. He wanted this as much as you did. You didn't answer him with words. Instead, you held his gaze, your intensity silencing the doubt that lingered in his eyes. Slowly, deliberately, your fingers trailed along his thigh, firm but teasing. His breath hitched again, sharper this time, and his hand flexed at his side as if unsure whether to stop you or let you take full control.

"Just let me, baby. Please, Toji." you whispered, your voice low and thick with need. It was a command, but more than that, a plea. You needed this—needed him.

His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and you watched his resolve melt away. His chest rose and fell unevenly, each breath ragged, as though he was on the edge of a precipice, uncertain whether to fall or hold back. But when his hand, the one he'd tried to use to still you earlier, moved to your head, fingers tangling softly in your hair, you knew his decision.

"You’re—" He tried to speak, but the words failed him. Whatever argument or hesitation he had left was swallowed by the way his body responded to your touch. The tension in him snapped like a taut string, and all that remained was the heat between you.

You leaned closer, lips ghosting over his skin, the salt of his sweat mixing with the warmth radiating from him. Every inch of him felt alive under your hands, and you could feel his pulse racing, mirroring your own urgency.

His grip in your hair tightened ever so slightly, and the sound that escaped him was one of surrender. "Fine…fine." he breathed out, a soft growl that sent a shiver down your spine. "Whatever you want… just—"

His words faltered again, but it didn’t matter. You knew exactly what he meant. Your fingers slid down his abdomen, feeling the tension ripple beneath his skin as you lowered yourself further. His muscles twitch involuntarily under your touch, betraying his anticipation despite his earlier hesitation. You could hear his breath hitch again, faster this time, his hand still tangled in your hair, half-pulling, half-guiding you as though he couldn’t decide whether to hold back or let go.

You knew, though. He wanted this as badly as you did, even if his mind had yet to catch up to his body’s desires.

You pressed a kiss just above the waistband of his pants, slow and deliberate, feeling him tense beneath your lips. His hips jerked slightly, a reaction he couldn’t contain, and you smiled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. Your fingers toyed with the waistband, teasing him, drawing out the moment just a bit longer.

“Stop teasing…” he muttered, voice breathless and strained. His grip in your hair tightened for emphasis, but it lacked the conviction to pull you away. He was already lost in this, even if he tried to pretend otherwise.

You finally obliged, tugging down his pants, the fabric sliding against his skin, revealing him fully. His body shuddered at the sudden exposure, and a soft, involuntary groan escaped his lips as the cool air met his flushed skin.

You didn’t waste time after that, leaning in with purpose, your tongue flicking out to taste him. The groan that followed was deeper, rawer, his hand now gripping your hair tightly, holding on as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. His legs trembled beneath your touch, and his breath came in ragged gasps as you moved, your mouth working him over with a slow, deliberate pace.

Every sound that escaped him, every twitch of his body, spurred you on, and you could feel him losing control. His hips buckled forward, desperate for more, and his other hand clutched the edge of the sofa behind him, knuckling white from the strain.

“Fuck.” he breathed, voice hoarse and barely audible, his entire body tense with the pleasure building inside him. “Don’t stop… just like that…”

You could feel him unraveling, every touch, every flick of your tongue driving him closer to the edge. And you were glad for it. You were giving it to him. You were the cause of his pleasure.  His breath came in short, sharp gasps, and his body trembled under your ministrations.

He was close, and you knew it, but you kept going, pushing him further, not giving him a moment to recover or catch his breath. His head fell back, his chest heaving as he surrendered completely to the sensations coursing through him.

And then, with a final, ragged groan, he came undone beneath you, his entire body tensing as waves of pleasure crashed over him. His grip on your hair loosened, and he slumped back against the sofa, utterly spent, chest rising and falling heavily.

You pulled back slowly, watching as he tried to catch his breath, his eyes half-lidded, glazed over with satisfaction. His hand slid weakly from your hair, his body still trembling in the aftershocks of his release.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the room filled only with the sound of his heavy breathing. Then, finally, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as though in disbelief at what had just happened.

“God.” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “You really don’t play fair, do you?”

You smiled, wiping your lips as you leaned back on your heels. “I told you to let me do this.”

He laughed again, softer this time, eyes meeting yours with a mix of exhaustion and adoration. “Yeah, doll.” he whispered, voice still breathless. “You did.”

As the air settled between you, his breathing evened out, and he leaned forward. Before you could react, Toji’s strong hand cupped your face, pulling you in for a strong, passionate kiss. It was sudden, raw, his lips crashing into yours with the kind of intensity that took your breath away. 

His mouth was warm and demanding, and the taste of his. It was making him feel hotter. And it made you hotter that the taste of his juice was being shared between the two of you. It was too good, the heat, salty taste and something uniquely his—flooded your senses.

You felt a shiver race down your spine as his tongue brushed against your lips, coaxing them apart. Without thinking, you melted into him, letting him take the lead. The way his hand moved from your face to your neck, fingers pressing just enough to make you feel his power, sent your mind spinning. He didn’t give you time to catch your breath, the kiss growing more fervent with each passing second.

When he finally pulled back, both of you gasping for air, his dark, sharp eyes locked onto yours. A smirk curled at the corner of his mouth, and there was something dangerous in his expression—something that made your heart race faster than before.

“My turn, doll.” Toji rasped, voice low and gravelly, dripping with intent. His thumb traced your bottom lip, as though marking the spot where his mouth had just been. "You didn’t think I’d just let you have all the fun, did you?"

Before you could respond, his hands were on you, rough but purposeful, guiding you up and onto the couch. His grip was firm as he pressed you down, positioning himself between your legs, eyes dark with hunger. He wasted no time—there was no hesitation in his movements, only a primal desire to return everything you’d given him moments ago.

Toji’s lips found your neck, trailing hot kisses down to your collarbone. Each kiss, each brush of his lips against your skin sent electric jolts through your body, heightening your senses. He was taking his time now, savoring each second as he moved lower, his breath hot against your chest.

He paused briefly, looking up at you, that same wicked smile playing on his lips. "Relax. You’re gonna want to enjoy this."

With that, he moved lower, and your breath caught in your throat as his mouth descended. The sensation was immediate, overwhelming. His tongue was slow and deliberate, moving with the kind of precision that had you gripping the edge of the couch within seconds. Your back arched involuntarily, and a soft moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.

"That’s it." he murmured, the vibrations of his voice against your skin making you tremble. "Let me take care of you."

Toji’s pace was unhurried, savoring the way your body responded to him, but there was a ferocity behind his touch that let you know he wasn’t going to stop until you were completely undone. His hands gripped your thighs, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, his strength evident in every subtle movement.

Each flick of his tongue, each stroke of his lips sent you spiraling, and soon you were lost in the sensation. Your hands found his hair, fingers gripping tightly as you struggled to stay grounded, but it was impossible. Toji was relentless, expertly pushing you further and further, until you were right on the edge, your entire body trembling under his touch.

"Toji," you gasped, your voice breaking as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable intensity. "I—"

But he didn’t let you finish. Instead, he quickened his pace, his grip on your thighs tightening as he pushed you over that edge. The sensation hit you like a tidal wave, your body shuddering as the pleasure washed over you, leaving you breathless and shaking beneath him.

For a moment, the world went hazy. All you could hear was your own heartbeat, loud and fast in your ears, and the sound of Toji’s deep, steady breathing as he slowly pulled away.

When your vision cleared, he was leaning over you, eyes filled with satisfaction. His lips curled into a familiar smirk as he wiped his mouth, clearly proud of the way he had left you undone. "Told you it was my turn." he teased, his voice smug, but the warmth in his gaze softened the edge.

You couldn’t help but laugh, still trying to catch your breath. "Yeah," you managed to say, voice hoarse. "I think you made your point."

Toji leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, this time slower, more intimate. "Good." he whispered against your mouth. "Because I’m not done with you yet."

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT WASN’T PERFECT.  And you always knew that, even in the best of moments. There were times when Zenin Toji’s recklessness frustrated you or when his silence left too much unsaid. But none of that ever seemed to matter in the grand scheme of things. 

What mattered was that it was real, and despite the flaws, both of you were genuinely happy. Toji had a way of making life feel effortless, as though the weight of the world didn’t matter when you were with him. His presence made everything feel simple, even when it wasn’t.

For a while, you let yourself believe in that simplicity. You believed that the two of you could live in this uncomplicated, happy bubble forever, like nothing could shake the foundation you’d built together. Every laugh, every stolen glance, every spontaneous trip made it easy to forget about the uncertainties that loomed in the background. With Toji, life felt lighter, almost as if the two of you existed in a world separate from everyone else’s struggles and complications.

But then something shifted. It was subtle at first, a creeping unease you couldn’t quite place. Until one day, your world came crashing into focus. You found out you were pregnant.

The moment the test came back positive, the air seemed to leave the room. You sat in the bathroom, staring at the two lines on the test, your mind racing but stuck at the same time. Hours seemed to pass, or maybe just minutes. Time had no meaning at that moment. All you could focus on was the weight of the news in your hands and the way everything suddenly felt heavier, more real, more terrifying than you’d ever imagined.

How could this have happened? Sure, you and Toji had been careless at times, but it never seemed like a real possibility….until now. And now, you were faced with a reality you hadn’t prepared for, a future that felt overwhelmingly uncertain.

You were scared. Not just for yourself, but for Toji too. You had no idea how he’d react, and that terrified you even more. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who liked to plan or think too far ahead. He thrived on spontaneity, on living in the moment, and the idea of something as permanent and life-altering as a baby… you weren’t sure how he’d handle it.

Would he be angry? Dismissive? Or worse—indifferent?

The thought of having that conversation made you feel physically ill. You had played out the scenario a hundred times in your head. Maybe he’d shrug it off like it was no big deal, or maybe he’d walk out without a second thought. Or maybe he’d surprise you, like he had so many times before, and show a side of himself you hadn’t expected. The uncertainty gnawed at you, filling your chest with a kind of dread you hadn’t experienced before.

You spent the next few days trying to find the right moment, the right words, but nothing ever seemed good enough. Each time you looked at him, your throat tightened. He’d catch your gaze, and you’d quickly look away, afraid that he’d somehow see the truth written all over your face before you were ready to say it out loud.

But it was inevitable. You couldn’t hide it forever, and sooner or later, you’d have to face what this meant for both of you. Would it change everything? Could your relationship survive something so monumental? You didn’t know. The only thing you knew for sure was that your world had already shifted, and there was no going back.

That evening, when he came over to your apartment, you were sitting on the couch, your hands clasped together, trying to gather the courage to tell him. Toji sat beside you, noticing your tense posture immediately.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly in concern.

You took a deep breath, your heart racing in your chest. “Toji, I need to tell you something.”

His expression shifted, becoming more serious. “Okay. What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant.” The words fell from your lips like stones, sinking into the quiet space between you. You watched his face closely, trying to read his reaction, but it was hard to tell what he was feeling at first. He blinked, his mouth slightly open, as though trying to process the information.

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He just stared at you, his mind working behind his eyes. You could see the shock there, the confusion, the disbelief. His silence made your heart pound even harder.

“Toji?” you prompted, your voice barely above a whisper.

He finally exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Are you… sure?”

“Yeah. Of course I am.” you nodded, your throat tightening. “I took a test.”

Another silence stretched between you, the weight of the situation settling in the room. Toji leaned back slightly, his face unreadable as he stared at the floor, his brows furrowed in thought. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t joy either. It was something heavier, something more complicated.

“I—” he started, then stopped, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say.”

The pit in your stomach deepened. You had known this would be hard, but seeing him so stunned, so lost, was more painful than you had anticipated.

“Toji, listen…. I just… I already planned this out and I thought about it.” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I don’t want to make this hard on you.”

He looked up at you then, his eyes sharp, questioning.

“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice low.

You took another breath, already feeling the tears welling up behind your eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it. Calmly. And…honestly.… I’ve decided I’m going to get an abortion.”

His blue–green eyes widened slightly, and for the first time since you’d told him, you saw a flicker of something raw, something close to fear in his expression.

“An abortion?” he repeated, his voice sounding hollow.

“Yeah, I am.” you nodded, trying to stay composed. “I don’t think we’re ready for this, Toji. I don’t want to complicate your life any more than it needs to be. With your family being rough and everything, I just…I don’t want this to add to your life. And I don’t want it to be harder on us, I mean we’re in college with nothing.”

He was quiet for a long moment, but the tension in his body was palpable. He was thinking, processing, trying to make sense of everything. When he finally spoke again, his voice was firm, but there was something broken underneath it.

“Are you… doing this for me?” he asked, his jaw clenched. “Because if you are, don’t.”

You blinked, startled by the sudden force in his words. “Toji, listen… I’m just trying to make it easier for you—”

“No, no.” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t make that decision because of me. If you don’t want this, fine. But don’t do it because you think I can’t handle it.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as the conversation turned heavier than you had anticipated. Toji had never been the type to be openly vulnerable, but there was something in his eyes now, something deeper than shock. It was fear. Not of the pregnancy itself, but of you taking that choice away from him.

“I’m not. I promise, I’m…” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “It’s not just about you, Toji. It’s about me too. We’re not ready for this—”

“And what if we are?” he cut you off again, his voice strained. “What if we could be?”

You shook your head, tears finally slipping from your eyes. “It’s too much. We’re not even finished with school. I don’t want to mess up your life.”

Toji reached out, his hand gripping your arm, not hard, but firm enough to make you stop. “You think this would mess up my life?” he asked, his eyes searching for yours. “What about yours?”

The question hit you hard. You had been so focused on how Toji would react, on how this would change his future, that you hadn’t fully considered what this meant for you. It wasn’t just his life that would change—it was yours too. And the truth was, you were terrified of that change.

“I don’t know what to do.” you whispered, finally letting the fear show in your voice.

Toji’s expression softened, and for the first time since the conversation started, he pulled you into his arms. His grip was strong, steady, like he was trying to anchor you in the chaos of your own emotions.

“We don’t have to decide everything right now, doll.” he said softly, his voice close to your ear. “But don’t do this just because you think it’s the right thing for me.”

You closed your eyes, resting your head against his chest, letting the weight of his words sink in. You didn’t know what the future held, or what the right decision was. All you knew was that, for the first time in a long while, you weren’t facing this alone.

IT WAS A FEW WEEKS LATER.  Zenin Toji sat in the crowded cafeteria, only half-aware of the conversation around him. The buzz of his classmates discussing internships, upcoming exams, and their futures faded into the background as he absentmindedly poked at his food. 

His thoughts were elsewhere, drifting between the monotony of the day and the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It had been a few days since he last saw you, but with finals and the usual chaos of student life, it wasn’t unusual. He figured you were busy, like everyone else.

But then a group of your friends approached. Their faces were drawn with concern, their eyes darting nervously around the room as they stopped in front of him. Toji barely registered their presence at first, his mind still elsewhere, until one of them spoke up.

“Toji, hey.” her voice was soft but edged with worry. “Have you seen her?”

He frowned, snapping back to the present. “What are you talking about? Who?”

“Her. You know…” she repeated, her words hitting a little harder this time. “Your girlfriend. She’s not in her dorm, and we haven’t seen her around campus. She dropped out, Toji. The professors said she withdrew from all her classes.”

The fork in his hand froze mid-air, his breath hitching as the words landed with a gut-wrenching thud. Dropped out? You? No. That couldn’t be right. You hadn’t mentioned anything about dropping out or even considering it. The last time you spoke, everything seemed normal—at least as normal as it had been lately. But this? It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like you to just disappear, especially not without saying anything to him.

Toji’s chest tightened, panic swelling beneath the surface, though he tried to mask it with his usual composed demeanor. “What?” he asked, his voice sharper than intended, laced with disbelief. “What do you mean she dropped out?”

“I don’t know..” one of your friends replied, her own uncertainty mirroring his. “She’s just… gone. We checked everywhere—her dorm, the library, even the places she liked to hang out. She’s not answering her phone. And when we talked to the professors, they confirmed it. She withdrew from all her classes yesterday.”

His heart pounded in his chest, a sinking feeling spreading through him. Gone. The word echoed in his mind, heavy and suffocating. None of this made any sense. He thought back to the last few times you were together, searching for any clue, any sign that you were planning something like this. But nothing stood out. You had been a little distant lately, maybe, but you always brushed it off as stress from school.

The thought of you leaving without saying a word, of just vanishing from his life like that, was like a punch to the gut. Toji wasn’t used to feeling powerless, but right now, that’s exactly what he felt. He had no control, no idea what was going on, and the uncertainty of it all gnawed at him like a vicious storm.

“Did she… did she say anything to any of you?” he asked, his voice rougher now, desperate for some kind of explanation. “Anything about why she’d do this?”

Your friends exchanged uncertain glances, but none of them had answers. One of them finally spoke, shaking her head. “No, she didn’t say anything. She’s been quiet lately, but we didn’t think she was planning to leave like this.”

Quiet. Distant. It all started to add up, piece by piece. You had been pulling away, hadn’t you? It was subtle, barely noticeable at first, but now, in hindsight, it seemed so clear. Toji’s mind raced with possibilities—was this about the pregnancy? 

Did you feel like you couldn’t tell him? Did you think he wouldn’t want this? His stomach twisted at the thought. He wasn’t the best at dealing with emotions, but if you had come to him, if you had just told him… he would’ve figured it out with you.

He pushed away from the table, standing up abruptly, his heart racing. “I’m going to find her.”

“Toji—” one of your friends began, but he was already moving, his mind set. He had to find you, had to understand what had driven you to this decision. Whatever was going on, he needed answers—needed to hear it from you.

Because the idea of losing you, of you walking out of his life without even a word, was something he wasn’t prepared to face.

Without a second thought, Toji pushed his chair back, standing up abruptly. His classmates glanced at him, startled, but he barely registered their reactions. His phone was already in his hand, and he started dialing your number as he made his way out of the cafeteria, his steps quick and purposeful.

The ringing on the other end felt like it lasted forever. His heart pounded harder with each unanswered ring, his mind racing with questions. Why hadn’t you told him? Why had you left?

Finally, you picked up.

“Toji.” you said quietly, your voice strained, almost like you had been expecting this call but had dreaded answering it.

“Where the hell are you?” he asked, trying and failing to keep the frustration and panic out of his voice. “Your friends came up to me. They said you dropped out. What’s going on?”

There was a pause, a heavy silence on the other end, before you finally answered.

“I left.” you said softly.

“What do you mean you left?” His voice was sharper now, disbelief and anger mixing together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t.” you replied, your tone distant, guarded.

“Couldn’t?” Toji repeated, his frustration growing. “You just decided to leave without saying anything? That’s it? That’s your explanation?”

You were quiet for a moment, and Toji could hear the sound of your breathing on the other end. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he made his way toward your dorm, his pace quickening. He could feel it, something’s not right. And he didn’t like it. He didn’t like this.

“I just… I can’t do this anymore, Toji.” you finally said, your voice cracking, though you were trying hard to keep it steady.

His chest tightened at your words. “What are you talking about? Can’t do what? We’re supposed to figure this out together!”

“I don’t want to make things harder for you.” you said, your voice soft and strained. “I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

Toji stopped in his tracks, standing just outside your dorm. His hand was already on the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to knock. “Trapped?” His voice was low now, disbelief coating every word. “You think I feel trapped?”

“You deserve more than this, Toji.” you said, your tone hollow. “More than me. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

“To me?” His voice grew louder again, anger mixing with the hurt that was now undeniable. “You think leaving without a word, without even trying to talk to me about it, is making things easier? You think this is what I want?”

Another silence stretched between you, the weight of his words hanging in the air.

“I can’t do it anymore, Toji.” you repeated, your voice more final this time. “I can’t do… us.”

Toji’s hand clenched into a fist, his knuckles turning white as he leaned his head against the door, trying to hold back the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He had never been good with feelings, never been good at expressing what was going on inside his head, but this—this was different. This was you.

“Why?” he asked, his voice raw, the hurt finally slipping through the cracks in his defenses. “Tell me why. I thought we were in this together.”

Your breath hitched on the other end of the line, and Toji knew you were trying to hold back tears. “I’m sorry.” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “But I have to do this. I’m breaking up with you, Toji.”

His stomach dropped. He had heard the words, but they didn’t feel real. Not yet. Not when you were still on the other end of the line, not when he was standing outside your door.

“Don’t do this, doll.” he said, his voice low and pleading now. “We can figure it out. Whatever it is, we can fix it. You don’t have to run.”

But you didn’t answer. The silence on the other end grew heavier, suffocating, until it became clear what you were doing.

“You’re really doing this?” Toji asked, his voice thick with disbelief. “You’re just leaving?”

“I’m sorry, Toji.” you whispered again, and then the line went dead.

He stood there, the phone still pressed against his ear, the empty dial tone ringing in his mind. You were gone. You had left, just like that. The weight of it all hit him at once—the pregnancy, the future you both had avoided talking about, the life that had suddenly unraveled in a single moment.

For the first time in a long while,  Zenin Toji felt lost.

HE BLINKED AND IT WAS THE FUTURE. Years had passed since that fateful conversation, and life had unfolded in unexpected ways for Zenin Toji. He had poured himself into his work, rising through the ranks to become a top engineer at his company. His days were filled with projects and deadlines, and while the ache of the past lingered in the back of his mind, he had learned to compartmentalize it.

He was dating someone new now, a woman who brought laughter and light into his life. They shared quiet dinners, spontaneous weekend trips, and plans for a future that felt bright and hopeful. Toji had learned to enjoy the moments, to savor the present without the weight of what could have been pulling him down.

But one afternoon, as he was wrapping up a meeting, his phone rang. The name on the screen made his stomach drop: it was one of your old friends.

He answered, his tone casual. “Hey, what’s up?”

The silence on the other end was heavy, laden with a gravity that sent a chill down his spine. “Toji… I need to talk to you. It’s about uh….her.”

The way she said your name made his heart race, an instinctual dread creeping in. “What about her?” he asked, his voice tightening. It has been years. Years since he’s heard your name. Years since that feeling of the sea wallowed its way into his heart. You. The very thought of you was spring, endless spring. “What happened?”

Another pause. “She… she passed away.”

The words hit him like a physical blow, knocking the breath from his lungs. “What?” he managed to stammer, disbelief flooding his mind. “What do you mean, passed away?”

“She had an accident. It was sudden. I’m so sorry, Toji.”

He felt the world tilt on its axis, the room around him blurring as the shock set in. “No, no, that can’t be right.” he said, shaking his head as if the motion could change the reality. “When? How?”

“We don’t have all the details about it yet.” she said softly, her voice trembling with emotion. “But I thought you should know. She had some friends over… and then it happened, after they all left. There’s suspicion that it was an accidental drug overdose, medication. Um, but we’re not sure if that’s true. Because…she’d tell us, if she was sick.”

The words began to sink in, but they felt surreal, detached from reality. How could this be happening? You had once been a part of his life, and now… now you were gone. The memories surged back—your laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about music, the softness in your voice when you told him you were leaving.

“I… I need to go.” he said, his voice shaking. “I need to be there.”

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern echoing in her tone. “Toji, breathe.”

But Toji couldn’t respond. He ended the call, the weight of what he had just heard pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He stared at the wall, his thoughts racing, heart pounding. Everything he had built, the life he had created, suddenly felt meaningless in the face of this loss. All shattered. Both the past, the present and future — all at once, dying.

He stood up, feeling unsteady, as if the ground beneath him had vanished. The world outside his office window looked the same, but everything felt different—bleak, muted, and empty.

Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket and left the office, his mind a whirlpool of memories and emotions. He could hardly focus on the road as he drove, the city blurring past him. All he could think about was you—what you had meant to him, the moments they shared, the unfinished conversations that hung in the air.

When he finally arrived at the location your friend sent, everything about the scene was somber, filled with familiar faces that had once been part of your life. He made his way through the gathering, his heart heavy in his chest. He saw your friends, their faces drawn with grief, and the realization hit him like a wave: you were really gone.

Zenin Toji found a quiet corner, his back pressed against a wall, as the reality settled in. The laughter and joy he had learned to embrace felt like a betrayal now. You should have been here, sharing these moments, navigating life together, just as you once had.

As he stood there, memories flooded back—moments of joy, of connection, of love. And in that instant, he understood that he would always carry a part of you with him, a lingering ache that would never truly fade.

The world moved on around him, but Toji felt frozen in place, grappling with the loss of someone who had shaped him in ways he had never acknowledged until now. And in that moment, he knew that no matter how much time passed, he would never forget you.

Toji stood at the edge of the gathering, the atmosphere heavy with sorrow and disbelief. The small chapel was filled with familiar faces, all of them grieving the loss of you, and he felt an ache deep in his chest as he took in the scene. Your family stood near the front, your mother clutching a bouquet of flowers, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Your father stood beside her, a stoic figure trying to hold it all together.

As the service progressed, Toji’s gaze wandered, and he noticed a young boy standing close to your mother. The child couldn’t have been more than five or six, his small frame almost dwarfed by the adults around him. He had dark tousled hair and bright, green – blue eyes echoing with curiosity that seemed to scan the room, searching for something—or someone.

Toji’s heart dropped as he took a closer look. The boy had a striking resemblance to him. It was subtle but unmistakable—the shape of his face, the curve of his lips, and the way he tilted his head when he looked around. The realization hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.

Just then, the boy moved toward your casket, his tiny hands reaching out to touch the smooth wood. As though he wanted to stroke your face with the warmth of a thousand suns. Toji felt a surge of instinct, wanting to protect the child from this pain, but before he could react, a white-haired man stepped in. With an air of calm authority, he gently scooped the boy into his arms, pulling him away from the somber sight.

Toji’s breath caught in his throat as he recognized the man—Gojo Satoru, a familiar figure from your past. He was your friend in college too. Protege, in the science department. He was a chief mourner today. The very presence of him felt like a ghost, both comforting and painful. He had always known Gojo Satoru to be a charismatic enigma, with his goofy smile and unserious eyes. But now his demeanor was serious, focused on the child in his arms.

“Hey, little guy.” Gojo said softly, kneeling down to the boy's level, his voice a soothing balm against the surrounding grief. “Let’s give her some space, okay?”

The boy looked up at Gojo, confusion etched on his young face. “But I want to say goodbye to my mama.” he said, his voice small and tremulous.

Toji felt his heart clench. Who was this child? Why did he look so much like him? Was he really…?

“Let’s remember her in a different way.” Gojo suggested gently, still holding the boy close. “We can share stories about how amazing she was, okay?”

The child seemed to consider this, his brows furrowing in thought. Toji felt an urge to move closer, to find out everything he could about this boy, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to tear his gaze away.

As Gojo began to lead the boy away from the casket, the child turned back one last time, his wide eyes filled with innocence and sorrow. “I miss her already. I miss my mama already.” he whispered, and Toji’s heart shattered at the sound of those words.

He watched as Gojo knelt down again, whispering something in the boy’s ear. Whatever it was, it made the child’s face light up with a fleeting smile, and for a moment, Toji felt a flicker of hope. Perhaps this boy could carry on a part of you—your spirit, your laughter, your love.

But the reality of the situation crashed over him once more. You were gone, and this child, whom he instinctively felt a connection to, was a reminder of everything that had been lost.

Toji took a step forward, the urge to reach out to the boy overwhelming him. He had to know. “Excuse me.” he said, his voice cutting through the murmur of the gathering, his eyes locked on Gojo and the boy. “Who is he?”

Gojo looked up, surprise flickering in his gaze before a knowing look settled in. “This is your son, Toji,” he said gently. “He’s her child. Your child.”

The words hung in the air like a weight, and Toji felt the ground shift beneath him. He had a son? The realization was like a tidal wave crashing over him, overwhelming and disorienting. All the moments he had missed, the life he hadn’t known he had—everything rushed to the surface, leaving him gasping for breath.

“I didn’t know….I….” he murmured, the words barely escaping his lips. “I didn’t know I had a son…”

Gojo nodded, his expression softening. “She wanted to tell you, but things got complicated. She loved you, Toji. She always did.”

The ache in Toji���s chest deepened, a mixture of regret and longing flooding through him. He wanted to reach out to the boy, to embrace him and promise to be there, to make up for all the lost time. But he felt frozen, unsure of how to bridge this sudden chasm between them.

The boy turned to look at him, his innocent eyes searching, and in that moment, Toji knew he couldn’t turn away. He took a step forward, his heart pounding, ready to face the truth of his past and embrace the future, whatever it might hold.

Toji took a deep breath, his mind racing as he processed the weight of everything Gojo had just revealed. “Who are you, exactly? To her.” he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. “Why are you here with him?”

Gojo regarded him with a measured gaze, a mix of understanding and sympathy etched across his features. “I’m Satoru Gojo, her ex.” he began, his tone calm yet heavy with unspoken history. “We had our time together, but she broke up with me to focus on raising him—Megumi.” He paused, his expression shifting slightly, as if weighing his next words. “But… I helped out when she started to suffer from her illness. We…we  also worked together.”

The revelation hit Toji like a punch to the gut. It was hard to hear that you had suffered, and he couldn’t fathom how you had faced such a struggle. You have always been so vibrant, so full of life. The image of you laughing by the sea, dreaming about the future, felt so far removed from the harsh reality of illness. How could this happen? How could you be dead? The thought churned in his stomach, leaving him feeling hollow and lost.

He felt a wave of panic and disbelief. You had been taken away from your son. From Toji. It was like that again—just when he had thought he was on the cusp of something beautiful and real, everything crumbled. You had left him once more, not by choice this time, but by fate’s cruel hand.

“Why didn’t I know?” Toji’s voice was barely a whisper, laced with frustration and sorrow. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Gojo’s eyes softened with empathy. “She wanted to protect you, Toji. You had a life too. She thought that by keeping her distance, she could spare you the pain. She didn’t want you to feel trapped by her son and her illness. It was incurable, all there could be was maintenance. So…she thought it would be better to leave before the damage was done.”

Trapped. The word stung. He had always wanted to be there for you, to share the burdens and the joys. “But I would have wanted to be a part of it, for bitter or worse.” he replied, his voice trembling. “I could have helped. I could have been there for both of you.”

Gojo nodded, understanding the turmoil in Toji’s heart. “She knew that, but she was scared—scared of what her illness would do to you and to Megumi. She wanted to give him a chance at a life free from that burden. It was a hard choice, but she thought it was the right one.”

The realization crashed over Toji like a wave. You had made that decision alone, believing it was the best thing for your son. And now, that choice has cost you your life. Anguish twisted inside him, and he felt a growing anger not towards you, but towards the circumstances that had taken you away.

How could it be fair? How could the universe allow such a beautiful spirit to slip away while leaving behind a child who would now grow up without knowing his mother?

Toji felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. The name hit him like a jolt, reverberating through him in a way he hadn’t anticipated. “Megumi.” he repeated softly, the sound wrapping around his heart like a lifeline. 

It was the name you had once discussed with such warmth and hope while watching the waves crash against the shore, dreaming of what could be if you ever started a family together. The memory came flooding back—the laughter, the carefree joy of that day, and the vivid images of a future that felt so tangible then.

“Yeah, she loved that name.” Toji murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I did too.”

He struggled to hold back tears, remembering how your eyes sparkled when you spoke about having a family, the way you imagined little Megumi running along the beach, chasing after waves with unabashed joy. That dream had felt so real, and now it felt like a cruel joke, a glimpse of what might have been.

Gojo nodded, his gaze steady. “She was a great mom, Toji. Megumi was her whole world. She did everything she could to raise him right, even when things got tough.”

The weight of those words settled heavily on Toji’s heart. “What happened to her?” he asked, his voice trembling. He needed to know; he had to understand how it had come to this.

“Heart disease.” Gojo replied, a shadow of sadness crossing his face. “Giving birth to Megumi made it worse, but she…she thinks Megumi was the best thing in her life. Her treasure in the sea, she calls him.”

Gojo’s words hung heavy in the air, the weight of them settling deep in Toji’s chest. He could feel the slow, painful collapse of his heart as the reality of the situation set in. The woman he once cared for, the mother of his son, had been struggling in silence all this time, carrying the burden of her illness alone while he lived his life, unaware. The thought gnawed at him, twisting the guilt deeper into his soul.

“She never regretted it,” Gojo continued, his voice steady but soft. “She said you had a good life. And she did too, despite everything. She wanted to make sure Megumi had the best, and she gave him all the love she could.”

Toji clenched his jaw, fighting against the flood of emotions surging inside him. Anger, sorrow, regret—it all mixed together into a tight knot in his chest. He felt sick with it, sick with the thought that while he was out there, living his life without a care, she had been suffering. And she hadn’t reached out to him. Hadn’t told him how bad things were. She’d shouldered it all on her own.

“But why didn’t she reach out to me?” Toji’s voice trembled, his words barely above a whisper. He needed to know. He needed to understand why she’d kept him in the dark. “I could’ve helped… I would’ve done something. Anything.”

Gojo’s gaze softened, sympathy shining in his eyes. “She didn’t want to burden you. That’s what she always said. You had your own life, your own path. She didn’t want you to feel tied down by everything she was going through.”

Toji’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, frustration boiling just beneath the surface. He wanted to scream, to curse the universe for being so cruel. How could she have thought he wouldn’t want to help? How could she have carried that weight alone?

Gojo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his expression solemn. “She never saw it as a sacrifice, Toji. In her eyes, you both lived your lives as you were meant to. She loved Megumi with everything she had, and she believed she made the right choice by not involving you. It was her way of protecting you, even if it meant doing it on her own.”

“To protect me?” Toji muttered bitterly, his chest tightening even more. The thought of her enduring so much pain while thinking she was doing it for his sake felt unbearable. “But it wasn’t just about me. I had a right to know… Megumi’s my son, too. I should’ve been there for him. For her.”

“I know,” Gojo said quietly, his tone gentle but firm. “But in her mind, this was the best way. She wanted you to live your life freely. No regrets, no guilt. And in the end, she did what she thought was best for Megumi.”

Toji’s heart ached at those words. The image of her, alone with Megumi, doing her best to raise him while struggling with an illness that had only worsened over the years—it was too much to bear. He couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness that clung to him, the overwhelming regret of not knowing, not being there when they needed him most.

“She called him her treasure in the sea,” Gojo added softly. “He was her everything.”

Toji swallowed hard, his throat tight. “And now what?” he asked, his voice strained. “What happens to Megumi now?”

Gojo’s gaze was steady, full of understanding. “Now, it’s your turn, Toji. Megumi needs you. You might not have been there before, but you can be there now.”

The gravity of Gojo’s words hit him like a tidal wave. Megumi was his responsibility now. His son. And no matter how much he regretted the past, he couldn’t change it. All he could do was move forward and be the father Megumi needed.

Toji’s heart felt heavy, but amidst the pain and regret, a flicker of resolve began to grow. He couldn’t undo what had happened, but he wouldn’t let his son down. Not again.

“I’ll be there for him. I….I will be there, just like she was.” Toji whispered, more to himself than to Gojo. “I won’t let him go through this alone.”

Gojo nodded, his expression softening. “That’s all she ever wanted.”

“Megumi….I….” Toji whispered, a smile breaking through the haze of grief. “I never knew…” His voice trailed off, choked with emotion.

Gojo watched him intently, gauging his reaction. “You can get to know him, Toji. You can be part of his life if you want. He deserves to know his father.”

Toji felt a rush of determination mixed with fear. “I want to be there for him. I want to be part of his life,” he said, his voice firm. “But how do I do that? How do I even begin?”

Gojo stepped back, giving Toji space while still keeping Megumi close. “You take it one step at a time. Start by introducing yourself. He needs to see that you care.”

Toji looked at Megumi, who was now watching him with wide, innocent eyes, curiosity mixing with uncertainty. It felt surreal, being in this moment—a chance to connect with the child he never knew existed.

“Hey, Megumi.” he said softly, kneeling down to the boy’s level. “I’m Toji. I’m your… father.”

The boy’s gaze flickered between Gojo and Toji, processing the words. “Father?” he echoed, his voice small and hesitant.

“Yeah.” Toji said, his heart racing. “I didn’t know about you until today, but I promise I want to be here for you. I want to know you.”

Megumi’s expression shifted, uncertainty still lingering, but there was a flicker of something else—hope? Curiosity? Toji couldn’t tell, but he felt compelled to keep talking. “Your mom and I talked about you once, you know. We dreamed about what it would be like to have a family. We even picked your name together.”

At the mention of your name, Megumi’s eyes brightened a little. “Mom loved me?” he asked, his voice small but filled with longing.

Toji nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “More than anything. She thought you were the most special person in the world.”

Gojo watched the exchange, a subtle smile of encouragement on his face, and for the first time, Toji felt a sense of connection to this boy. A connection that reached beyond the pain and the past, into a future that was now possible.

“Can we talk about her?” Megumi asked, his small voice filled with the innocence of a child who wanted to keep your memory alive.

“Of course.” Toji replied, his heart swelling with affection. “We can talk about her all day. She was amazing, Megumi. And I want to share all the stories with you.”

As they stood there, the weight of loss began to shift, creating space for something new—a tentative bond that could grow into something meaningful. Toji knew it would take time, but he felt a flicker of hope ignite within him.

“I’m here now.” Toji said, looking deep into Megumi’s eyes. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

EVERYTHING HAD BEEN A WHIRLWIND.  Fushiguro Toji’s life changed in ways he never anticipated. The news of your passing was like a shockwave, reshaping his world overnight. He left his family. He broke up with his girlfriend. He changed his last name to match yours and Megumi, after he had asked your parents. He needed to focus on raising Megumi. Like you would have wanted. Like it should have been. 

Taking on the responsibility of being Megumi’s father was daunting. Every day brought new challenges and revelations. Toji found himself learning how to care for a child, adjusting to late-night feedings and school projects, and discovering the joy of small victories—like Megumi’s laughter during playtime or the pride in his eyes when he accomplished something new. 

Yet, amid the routine of parenting, there was a void that lingered deep within him. He wasn’t over you. He never had been. Memories of you flooded his mind—your laughter, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about the future, the dreams you had shared together. It felt like a cruel twist of fate that he now held the title of father while grappling with the reality that you were gone.

Every time he looked at Megumi, he saw pieces of you—the way he scrunched his nose when he concentrated, the softness of his smile, and the kindness in his heart. Toji often found himself reminiscing about those conversations you had on the beach, envisioning the life you had both dreamed of. It hurt to think of the family that could have been, the moments that would never materialize.

Despite the pain, he pushed forward. For Megumi’s sake, he channeled his grief into being the best father he could be. He read parenting books, reached out for advice, and did his best to create a stable home filled with warmth and love. He wanted Megumi to feel secure, to know that he was cherished and valued. 

But as the days turned into weeks and then months, the ache of your absence remained a constant companion. Toji would often catch himself staring out at the ocean, remembering the life you envisioned together, and it struck him anew how unfair it all felt. You had left too soon, and now he was left to navigate the complexities of fatherhood alone, always carrying a piece of your heart with him.

The sea stretched out before them, the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore filling the air with a soothing melody. Toji stood at the edge of the water, the salty breeze brushing through his hair as he watched Megumi run ahead, his small figure framed against the vast expanse of the ocean. The boy’s quiet demeanor softened in the presence of the sea, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he bent down to pick up a shell, the sunlight catching in his dark hair.

Toji’s heart tightened as he watched him, an unexpected flood of emotions surging through him. This was your place—the sea. You had always talked about how peaceful it made you feel, how the endless horizon made everything seem possible. He remembered the times you’d come here together, how you’d sit by the water, your laughter carried away by the wind. And now, here he was, with your son—his son—standing in the same place you had once loved.

He raised the camera in his hands, snapping a picture of Megumi as the boy turned toward him, holding up the shell in his hand as if to show it to him. Toji couldn’t help but smile, his heart swelling with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time. There was something about Megumi in this moment, something in his quiet curiosity, the way his eyes softened as he gazed at the sea, that reminded him so much of you.

It hit him like a wave—how much of you lived in Megumi. Not just in his looks, but in his spirit. The calm, quiet strength, the way he approached the world with a sense of wonder, but always with his guard up. You had given Megumi more than just life; you had given him a piece of your heart, a piece of the love you had carried for both of them.

Toji took another picture, capturing the way the light danced across Megumi’s face, the way the sea reflected in his eyes. And for a moment, he could see you—standing there beside him, your laughter mingling with the sound of the waves, your hand resting gently on his shoulder.

He lowered the camera, his gaze softening as he watched Megumi return to the water’s edge. He was beginning to understand now, the words you had left behind, the meaning of what you had called Megumi—your treasure in the sea. It wasn’t just about the boy himself, but what he represented. The love you had for him, the love you had for Toji, even if life had taken you down separate paths.

Megumi was that love. He was the bridge between you and Toji, the one thing that connected them both, even after you were gone.

Toji closed his eyes, taking in the sound of the sea, letting it wash over him. For so long, he had been angry, filled with regret for not being there when you needed him most. But now, standing here with Megumi, he realized that you hadn’t left him behind. You had left him something more precious than anything else—the love you shared, alive in your son.

As Megumi looked back at him, the shell still in his hand, Toji smiled. He walked toward him, crouching down to meet the boy’s gaze.

“You know,” Toji said, his voice soft, “your mom used to say you were her treasure in the sea.”

Megumi blinked, tilting his head slightly. “What does that mean?”

Toji reached out, brushing a strand of hair from Megumi’s face. “It means she loved you more than anything. She saw something special in you, something worth holding onto. And she was right.”

Megumi looked down at the shell in his hand, turning it over thoughtfully. “Do you miss her?”

Toji’s chest tightened, the familiar ache of loss rising to the surface. But for the first time in a long while, it didn’t feel so overwhelming. He glanced back at the sea, the horizon stretching out endlessly, just like the love that still connected them.

“Yeah,” Toji admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I do. But you know what? I see her in you. Every day.”

Megumi’s eyes widened slightly, and he gave a small nod, as if trying to absorb the weight of his father’s words. They stood there in silence for a moment, the gentle sound of the waves filling the space between them. Toji pulled out the camera once more, capturing one last picture—Megumi standing at the shore, his small frame against the endless sea, the shell still clutched in his hand.

At that moment, Toji understood. Megumi was not just your treasure; he was your treasure. The love that both of you had poured into him, the love that endured, even when everything else had changed.

And now, standing beside his son, Fushiguro Toji felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The peace only you could give him.

[headcaasefiction]

Kinktober 2024

Day 4: Humiliation/Praise

(Dracule Mihawk/AFAB!Reader)

Minors Do Not Interact

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 12,350

Summary: Y/N is a student at Dracule Mihawk’s academy for swordsmen, and harbors a massive crush on him. She is a teacher’s pet, his star pupil, and she would do anything for him. Things become heated when Mihawk begins to push and test her limits, both publicly and privately.

Warnings: Non-negotiated Kink, Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, DubCon, Student/Teacher relationship, Drinking, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Mentions of Anal, Spanking, Sir Kink, Dominant/Submissive, Biting/Marking, Pet Names.

Author’s Note: Well…October has been kicking my ass. I had so many fics planned for Kinktober (I still do, they will get written eventually, just not all in October) and then I got sick. Then this one completely got away from me, it’s twice as long as I ever intended it to be. I also know that it’s not the 4th, but this was the 4th prompt on my Kinktober list, so I’m not going to worry about the dates lining up. Anyway, I hope this 12,000+ word fic makes up for my absence lately. I love you all and hope you enjoy!

You have been a pupil of Mihawk’s Academy for just over a year now. There is yourself, and fourteen other students who live with him in his castle on the grounds of Gloom island, all learning the art of Swordsmanship together.

Mihawk is a brutal master, who expects nothing less than complete and utter devotion, discipline, and concentration from every single one of his students. At the beginning of the year there had been twenty in the group, now only fifteen remain. The others either left on their own accord, or at the very worst, were personally cast out by Mihawk himself.

You swore you would see your training to the very end, no matter how many years or even decades it took, swore you would stop at nothing in order to be his most dedicated student.

Every day you wake before the crack of dawn; you clean and nourish yourself, perform your warm up exercises, clean your sword, and then wait patiently at the training grounds with a copy of a book you have previously seen him read. Every day, you are the very first to arrive, and the last to leave every training session.

All of your fellow swordsmen tend to poke fun at you for your rigid regime, especially because you know you are not the strongest pupil at the academy. You rely more on defense, your offense lacking brute strength, but making up for it with how physically fast and quick-witted you can be during sparring matches.

Above all else, they call you a teacher’s pet. Though that’s very easy to tell, seeing as you hang onto Mihawk’s every word, are the first to volunteer for any new exercises or demonstrations, and meticulously practice the routines and techniques until you can’t physically hold your sword any longer.

A few, who you do consider to be your friends, have even figured you out.

“You like him, don’t you?” Maryelle had asked you one night, with a playful gleam in her eye, causing your cheeks to burn a deep shade of crimson red, “Look, I get it. He’s sexy in a scary kind of way.”

Your other friend, Hari piped in as well, “I guess that’s why I don’t get it,” he shrugged, “He’s such a stoic hardass. Yeah, he’s the world’s greatest swordsman, and a good teacher, but he freaks me out.”

You had laughed, still a bit embarrassed, but you admitted, “A little, but I also think he’s brilliant, and beautiful…”

It is the highlight of your entire week if he even casts a spare glance your way, those piercing golden eyes sending shivers up your spine… but during one session, just a week ago, he did something that you’re pretty sure made your entire year:

While he was wandering the training grounds, watching each student practice the new blade technique he had just taught, he paused to observe you. You held your gaze straight forward, trying to pretend like he wasn’t there, just focusing on controlling your legs, arms, and sword down to the smallest detail. After you completed the movements several times, he approached you, getting so close you could feel his warm breath tickle the shell of your ear, as he lowly whispered, “Good girl.”

He walked away as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The interaction left you stunned, breathless, with an ocean of heat roaring in your blood.

That night you touched yourself; rubbing your clit and stuffing as many of your fingers in your wet, greedy cunt as you could manage. You imagined he was at the foot of your bed, lounging in a chair, arms and legs crossed, glowing eyes gazing at you as he told you, “Good girl…now cum for me.”

The next day, you were noticeably distracted. Instead of listening intently to the lecture Mihawk was giving, you were paying far much more attention to the color and fullness of his lips, the sharp, devilishly handsome angle of his jaw and cheek bones, the firm tautness of his bare chest and abdomen, and how his tall, broad figure would look leaning over you as he thrust into your –

“Y/N.”

His booming voice had violently snatched you out of your daydream, leaving you dazed and horrified as you noticed that every single one of your classmates’ eyes were focused on you. Your entire body flushed, and you could’ve sworn that the tips of your ears were burning off.

“Y-yes, Sir?”

“Would you be so kind as to demonstrate the shikake-waza and oji-waza I described at the beginning of the lesson?”

You had no idea what he was talking about, not a single clue. His eyes were burning holes into you with unblinking, direct contact. The courtyard was completely silent, except for the faint sounds of birds chirping in the trees. You felt as though you would be crushed under the unbearable weight of the shocked expressions of your peers as you sheepishly stuttered your answer, “I-I can’t, Sir. I do not know them…”

“Were you or were you not standing there as I myself, demonstrated them this morning?”

You were so embarrassed you thought you might faint, you bit your lip before responding, “Yes, I was standing right here.”

He stalked towards you, leaning down just inches from your face, “No point in coming so early if you can’t even bother to pay attention. No one likes a performer, Y/N.”

With that he turned on his heel and walked back to the center of the courtyard, leaving you trembling, and nearly in tears. The hushed whispers of your fellow pupils ringing in your ears as the lesson continued on, Mihawk calling on another student to perform what you could not.

The following days after, you were determined to get back in his good graces. He had been impressed with you before, had called you a good girl, and you refused to let one slip up ruin everything you had worked so hard for. But that was proving to be more of a challenge than you previously thought.

Throughout the rest of the week you seemed to have a target on your back, and Mihawk’s hawk-eyes were completely locked in on it. No matter how hard you tried, nothing you did was good enough for him. Your stance was lousy, your posture was poor, your movements too slow, your techniques not accurate, your sword not sharp enough. The list continued, with every single criticism said loudly, and within earshot for the entirety of your peer group to hear.

“Y/N, what did you do to piss him off so badly?” Maryelle had asked, brow furrowed with concern, “I’ve never seen him be this hard on someone before… do you think he’s going to throw you out of the academy?”

You shook your head, feeling defeated. You were exhausted, both physically and emotionally, “I really don’t know… I didn’t mean to zone out at the beginning of the week, I’ve just had a lot on my mind I guess.”

Hari patted you on the shoulder, and with a surprisingly sympathetic tone, he said, “I doubt he’s going to kick you out, he probably would’ve already done that by now. Maybe he’s just pushing you super hard so you unleash your true potential or something.”

“You’re probably right. I can’t afford to slack for even a moment, I know I can do better.”

“Soo…do you still have a crush on him then?” Maryelle teased, poking you in the side.

“Shut up,” you grinned, your cheeks glowing a light pink as you gently shoved her by the shoulder.

That had made you feel a little better, kept your spirits up and reignited your will power. You were going to impress him and show your worth even if it fucking killed you.

Training was still extraordinarily tough though, and it was well established at this point that Mihawk was picking on you in front of everyone when he forced you to spar with five of your classmates in a row one morning.

You panted hard as your chest heaved with exertion; heart beating in your throat, hair wild and dripping with sweat, and more than a few cuts and bruises littered your skin.

“Again.” He demanded, motioning at another student to come forward.

Your fellow pupil looked more than a little concerned, hesitantly glancing between you and Mihawk before taking her stance, sword in hand. Even out of concern for your safety, no one was willing to challenge the teachings of their master.

Without another word you lunged forward, swords clashing as you tried to dive in between her waist and arm to twist the blade from her grasp. It was an attempt to end the fight as quickly as possible, as you were not sure how much longer you could last. But you failed the disarm, her hand hooking under your armpit and flinging you over her shoulder before throwing you to the ground, knocking the wind out of you.

You groaned in pain, struggling to get air into your constricted lungs, while little black spots dipped in and out of your vision, one hand blindly groping the ground for your sword that you could not find.

Suddenly Mihawk was looming over you, tall, broad, and terrifying, almost how he looked in your nighttime fantasies and daydreams. Your sword was gripped in his hand, and he had a stern and disappointed look that shadowed over his face. He tsked at you, bringing the tip of your blade to your chin to slightly lift your head up towards him.

“Is that all you have left in you?”

You bit your lip, chest still heaving to catch your breath, fingers gripped tight in the grass beneath you as a single tear slid down the side of your face. You had no words, you just gently shook your head, and squeezed your eyes shut in defeat.

“Pity… go clean yourself up. Meet me in the ball room after lunch. Bring your sword.” He then drove your sword into the ground close by your shoulder, turned his back, and began to walk towards the castle, “Class dismissed.”

The rest of the students cleared out of the courtyard almost immediately, some gave you looks of pity, others completely ignored your pathetic, sprawled out body and rushed inside, grateful that they were not the object of Mihawk’s wrath.

Hari and Maryelle were the only ones that stayed behind with you, grabbing your sword and helping you to sit up as you began to sob. This was more than embarrassment, this had gone so much farther beyond that point now. You had never felt so utterly humiliated in your entire life, and now you had to face him alone later that afternoon.

Maryelle held you as you cried, arm wrapped tight around you as you limped and leaned against her back to your room, Hari carrying your sword for you with a hand softly placed on your back.

“He’s a prick, Y/N.”

“I know, I know,” you cried, sitting on the edge of your bed with your head in your hands, “I just want him to like me!”

Later that afternoon, after you cleaned yourself up, soaked your aching limbs in the tub, and bandaged your minor wounds, you joined Maryelle and Hari in the dining hall for lunch. When you entered, an uncomfortable silence hung in the room, followed by a surge of hushed tones and whispers as you walked to your seat.

Both Hari and Maryelle rolled their eyes as you sat down next to them, “Ignore them, they’re assholes.”

You began to pick at your food, trying your best to calm your frazzled nerves, “I know, they’re honestly the least of my worries right now.”

“…what do you think is going to happen?” Maryelle asked softly.

“I have no idea. He could throw me out, he could scream at me, he could fight me, he could kill me…”

Hari’s eyes went wide, and he grabbed your hand, “Y/N, he’s not going to kill you… everything is going to be okay.”

“I sure hope so.”

Once the clock in the dining room chimed 1:00, signaling the end of the lunch hour, you nervously made your way across the castle, and finally ended up outside the large and lavish doors of the ballroom. You had only ever been inside the room once, and it was back when it was your first day on the island. He had lined the entire class up and gave a speech about what he expected out of each and every one of you, how his word was law, and that you all would only be allowed to stay as long as he personally wanted you to.

Before grabbing the large brass handle, you hesitated, anxiety flooding your nervous-system, your pulse thumping in your ears. What if he was going to ask you to leave? And then tell you what a disappointment and waste of time you were all of these months?

Instead you shoved down the racing thoughts, gripped your sword tight, put on a brave face, and opened the door.

He was waiting for you on the far side of the room, seated in a plush red velvet and wood chair reading an old leather bound book.

“Come in.” He ordered, with a subtle flick of his hand, not even looking up from the page.

You closed the door behind you and walked toward him, posture straight, shoulders back as you held your head high, trying to act like you weren’t scared out of your wits. You stopped in front of him, crossing your arms behind your back to wait for further instructions.

After he finished reading his page he placed a bookmark to save his spot, and then he finally looked up at you, eyes as piercing and frightening as ever.

“Do you know why I asked you here today, Y/N?”

You tried to swallow a lump that suddenly formed in your throat, your mouth dry. You cleared your throat and spoke up, “B-because I was unable to finish my sparring match today?”

Mihawk closed his book and set it aside, rising from his seat to his full height to tower over you, and look you straight in the eyes, “No, not because of that.”

He stepped even closer, forcing you to crane your neck to hold his gaze, refusing to back down from the slight advance.

Your brows furrowed, your hands clenching and unclenching with a touch of nerves and confusion, “Do you… do you want me to fight you, Sir?”

It was nearly impossible to read the expression on his face most of the time, always so stoic, stern, and serious, so this time you were taken aback by the slight smirk that graced his face for a moment. He turned around, placing his hat on the same side table where he put his book, before walking over to a rack that held several variations of swords. He pondered them for a moment, then picked up a long, slender rapier, one that was quite similar to your own.

“You’re a good fighter, Y/N, but a sword fight would be very one-sided, I’m afraid.”

The way he put that was odd, you thought, while you watched him gracefully swish the sword in a sharp arch over his head, testing the balance of it.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I’m a little bit confused…”

Suddenly, without warning, he lunged at you; the tip of his blade piercing through the air at lightning speed, and it was like you were seeing it happen in slow motion. Without even thinking, you ducked out of the way, rolling back and to the side to create some distance between the two of you.

You leaped up onto your feet, extending your sword just above your head in time to parry his next attack, the clash of metal ringing throughout the room. He swung at you again, narrowly missing your shoulder as you spun around, twisting low to the ground to aim for his knee. He blocked that too, exerting his weight and tremendous strength through the blade, sending you sliding back on the marble floor onto your knees.

“Good, very good,” he drawled, standing up straight once more from his attack position, “Even quicker than this morning, I see.”

You breathed slowly, in through your nose and out of your mouth, trying your best to steady your heart-rate. He had truly taken you by surprise, and you were almost sure you would’ve been dealing with a rather painful puncture wound had you not stepped out of the way in time.

From your new position on the floor, you realized he had barely moved, but somehow had managed to get you to three separate points in the room, all within 10 to 15 feet of each other. Yet he just stood there, looking at the blade he held in his hands, as if he were bored.

That image of him lit a fire under your ass. He was just toying with you, toying with you like he had been doing all damn week, and he looked good while doing it. This stupid man, who was the object of your desire, who you gave up your entire life for to follow his teachings. This stupid man whose approval you craved more than anything else on earth, whose hypnotic voice had crippled your year long streak of concentration, and resolve with only two words. This man, who was so stupid, and tall, and handsome, and perfect and it made you want to scream.

In a sudden fit of rage, a pure lapse in judgement, you rose to your feet and ran at him full force. You darted your blade out forward, first to his right, then left, and up towards his neck while simultaneously crouching down to kick out your leg, a vain attempt to push him off balance. None of it worked; he blocked and out-maneuvered every single slash, blow, and limb that you swiped at him, while not even breaking a sweat.

With an angry shout, you rose your blade above your head to slash down at him one more time, a stupid, childish move that left you extremely open and vulnerable.

Before you even knew it, he parried you, knocking your sword straight from your grasp, causing it to scatter across the room. Then with another sudden movement, he snatched both of your wrists up in one of his large hands, shoved you against the nearest wall, and pinned them above your head.

You expected him to point his blade at your throat, demand that you beg to stay, or possibly tell you to pack your things and get the hell out before he decided to kill you. But he said no such thing, instead he just ended up surprising you again.

“I think that’s quite enough of that,” he said calmly, setting the sword aside to lean on a nearby bookshelf while one of his knees slid between your legs, making your eyes go wide.

Heat shot through you, sparks of pleasure licking up your insides as he gazed down at you. He was close, so close you knew he could see the deep blush that covered your face and neck; so close that he could see your dilated pupils, blown wide with desperate need.

You panicked, attempting to free your arms and squirm away from him before he could figure out how your body was reacting. But it was no use, his grip was too strong, and his other free hand rested on the wall by your waist. He had caged you in, leaving you completely open to him with nowhere to run to or hide.

“Sir p-please, I’m sorry… I – please don’t make me leave…”

And just when you thought nothing else could shock you anymore, once again you were wrong. Dracule Mihawk smiled at you; a teasing, condescending smile, but a smile none the less, as he inched his knee even further between your legs, “Why would I make you leave when I have you exactly where I want you?”

You were at a loss for words, only an involuntary whimper fell from your lips as you went slack, surrendering all will to his control, ready for whatever he was going to do to you.

“You’re one of my star pupils, Y/N,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over your collarbone, leaving goosebumps in their wake, “Your devotion and dedication have not gone unnoticed this past year.”

It felt like your entire body was vibrating on a molecular level, little bursts of heat rolling through your stomach, making your clit throb, aching to be touched. Your eyes fluttered shut, burning every single detail of this moment into your memory.

He pressed himself fully against you, making you gasp as his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “But you can’t scrape by on book smarts and quick reflexes alone. I expect great things of my favorite student.”

You looked up at him, eyes half-lidded, feeling punch drunk and dizzy from his close proximity, “I’m your…favorite?”

In response he smirked at you, his hand finding your waist, thumb grazing over your hipbone, “I know I’ve been cruel this week, but I cannot let the others suspect my favoritism. Let’s keep this between us, yes?”

You nodded dreamily at him as soft shivers tingled under your skin where he touched you, your fingers twitching slightly in his grip, “Y-yes, Sir. I promise I won’t tell anybody.”

“Good girl…” He breathed, and that almost made you cum right then and there. Instead, you bit your lip, trying to stifle the small whimper that poured from your lips.

Finally, he released your hands, causing them to drop weakly to your sides; your knees almost buckling beneath you as he backed away.

“Your training will only get more difficult from here on out, expect to be on your guard at all times now. I don’t want you getting too comfortable.”

He left you dazed as you leaned against the wall, trying to get your bearings while he sat back down in his chair to continue reading his book.

“That is all, Y/N. You are excused.” He said with another wave of his hand, as if your interaction had never even occurred.

With a weak nod you pushed yourself from the wall, your knees still quivering with excitement as you walked past him, picked up your sword, and gently closed the doors behind you.

“Sooo, what happened?” Maryelle had asked as soon as she saw you wandering the corridors hours later, “Are you okay?”

All you could do was shrug, with a gentle shake to your head, attempting to be as nonchalant as possible, “Nothing, we just talked.”

“You just-…you just talked?”

“Yup… we just talked.”

You avoided anyone else for the rest of the day, opting to hike up the hills and train by yourself to relieve your confusion and pent-up frustrations. Later that night, as you got ready for bed, you touched yourself in the shower, biting your wrist while you whimpered and moaned his name, pretending your fingers were his fucking into you while he had you trapped against the wall, fingertips torturing your clit.

The memory of his warm breath tickling your neck, and firm body pressed against yours lulled you to sleep, with those two words echoing in your mind, “Good girl…”

It was finally the end of the long, tortuous week you had endured. As usual, you got up and performed your morning rituals, reading in the courtyard of the training grounds as your peers began trickling in to join you. But much to your and your classmates’ surprise, instead of the normal training session with Mihawk, he announced that he would be going on an excursion for the next week. It had been months since any of you had gotten a break, and he made it a point to tell everyone to actually enjoy the time off.

“My presence is requested by orders of the World Government, which means I will take leave for a week. I suggest you all continue your training on an individual level, but also request that you relax your bodies and minds. One cannot remain sharp without easing one’s troubles every now and then. I only ask that you do not burn the castle to the ground. Anything out of place upon my return, and well…let’s not find out what I would have in store for you all. Class excused.”

As soon as Mihawk left the courtyard, with a swoop of his long coat, and the shadow of his tall figure disappearing down one of the corridors, the entire class bursts out in celebration. Some jumping up and down, cheering and yelling, others immediately beginning to plan for a party and dinner.

Hari and Maryelle come up to you, beaming with excitement.

“A whole week, Y/N can you believe it?!” Maryelle gushes, grabbing your hand to walk along with them, “At least you’ll get a break from his royal jerkiness, yeah?”

“And there’s already a big dinner party being planned for tonight, you’re coming right?” Hari asks.

You were excited to spend more time with your friends, and after the hellish week you had just gone through, you were grateful for some time off, some relief. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that you wouldn’t be seeing Mihawk for an entire week, especially after the tantalizing moment you shared with each other in the ballroom yesterday.

With a forced smile you squeeze Maryelle’s hand and wrap your arm around Hari’s shoulders, trying to cover up your disappointment, “Of course I’ll be there! How about we hit the wine cellar as well? I doubt he’ll miss a few of the not-so-vintage bottles.”

They both grin deviously, clapping you on the back, “Now that’s what I’m talking about, you deserve to let loose a little. Maybe we can even find someone to take your mind off that lousy Hawk-eye.”

You roll your eyes, the three of you following the stream of people back into the castle, a glint of knowing in your eye, “You can try, but I doubt it.”

It was now several hours into the evening festivities, Mihawk has only been gone half the day and already the entire class has taken over the dining hall and common room. A few people have even found a set of instruments and are busy keeping a small group dancing. Some are scattered in small circles drunkenly chatting away, others off in pairs, shamelessly making out in the darkened corners of the room, or sneaking away to the dorms for a quickie.

At the beginning of the night you had been glued to Hari and Maryelle’s side, but as the three of you continued to down glass after glass of the rich red wine Mihawk kept the castle stocked with, you could tell that your presence was getting in the way of their drunken flirting. So you left them sitting together on a couch, Maryelle halfway in Hari’s lap.

You pick up your wine glass and make your way back to the kitchen, searching for an unopened bottle to nurse for the rest of the night.

“May I tempt you?” You hear a low voice ask you from behind.

You turn around, and are met with one of your classmates named Raegan, a tall, blond, decently handsome, and talented swordsman you have sparred with on a few occasions. He’s uncorking a bottle, and smiling down at you as he gestures toward your empty glass.

“Oh please! Thank you.” You smile at him, a slight blush on your cheeks as you give him a once over while he pours you a hefty glass.

“Are you enjoying the night, Y/N?” Raegan questions, tone calming and polite, and thankfully not overly intoxicated like almost everyone else.

“I am!” You nod, taking a sip of your wine, “It’s been one hell of a week, so I’m glad we can all relax for a while. Plus it’s so nice to casually socialize, it seems like the only thing we ever talk about is training.”

“I agree with you there,” he laughs softly, leaning closer to you, “Well, you deserve a break after the hard time he’s been giving you recently. I’m assuming everything went okay when you saw him after lunch? A lot of us we pretty worried about you.”

Your heart-rate elevates slightly at the mention of yesterday’s meeting with Mihawk, your cheeks turning an even darker shade of red as you try to push the memories to the back of your mind.

“Y-yes, it went fine. We just had a talk is all, about-… about me making sure I’m living up to my potential,” you stammer, a little flustered.

Raegan leans down, looking closely at your face while he presses the back of his hand to your forehead, “Are you feeling alright? You’re looking a little red, and you feel warm.”

The gentle gesture catches you off guard, causing a small swarm of butterflies to flutter in your stomach for a moment. You’re flattered by his concern, and it has been such a long time since you’ve allowed yourself to freely flirt with anybody, that you forget about your unrequited crush on your teacher for just a moment. So much of your attention has been focused on Mihawk that you forgot to look that way at anyone else.

“Yeah, I’m fine…it’s just the-…it’s just the wine is all.” You giggle as his hand leaves your forehead, fingertips ghosting down the side of your face as he pulls away.

He smiles at you again, picking up the bottle while he nods toward the common room, “Good. Care to sit and finish this off with me then? I’d love your company.”

“Absolutely.”

He leads you out of the kitchen, and you find an unoccupied couch in a back corner, where you can actually hear each other talk.

As the night continues on, and the warm intoxication from the wine begins to settle in, you notice that you have been inching closer and closer to Raegan for the last half hour. Your thighs pressed flush against one another as you flirt shamelessly, touching his leg when you laugh at one of his jokes.

The wine continues to feed your courage, and you find yourself almost half in his lap, his large hand finally settling on your thigh, giving it a warm squeeze.

“I’m glad this happened tonight,” he says, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your inner thigh, “I’ve always wanted to talk to you more, but you’re always so concentrated on training… I never thought someone like you would ever give me the time of day.”

You blush, softly tracing the back of his hand with your fingertips, “I get a little lost in it sometimes… what do you mean someone like me?”

“Someone so dedicated, so humble, and talented…” he leans over and murmurs in your ear, causing a shiver of excitement to run down your spine, and a stirring of butterflies in your tummy, “Someone so absolutely gorgeous.”

You sigh, heart fluttering, Fuck it’s been so long, I need this… His face is so close to yours, shadowed with an intense longing, his gaze looking down from your eyes to your lips. He cradles your jaw in his hand, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip before his eyes flutter shut and he guides his lips to yours.

You sink into the kiss for a moment, your hands gripping at his shirt as your body screams at you for more. But after a few moments you break away, a sudden odd feeling washing over you as Mihawk’s face flashes in your mind.

“I-I’m so-so sorry, Raegan I -,” You stammer, feeling confused and flustered while you gently push at his chest to create some distance.

He looks a little hurt, but mostly concerned as he immediately stops touching you, “It’s okay, really Y/N, I came on a little too strong – …”

“I just need to get some air real quick, okay?” You pick yourself up off the couch and begin to retreat to the hallway, “I’m just going to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting to hear his reply you stumble out of the common room, away from his sincere eyes and warm touches, feeling a little queasy as you head toward the restroom. There’s a weird pit in the center of your stomach now where pleasure used to be, and you can’t help but feel as if you’ve somehow done something wrong.

Get a grip… you mutter to yourself while you enter the washroom, looking at your reflection for a moment; lips plump from kissing, hair a little wild from where he ran his fingers through it, and cheeks tinged a rosy-pink, both from your excitement and the amount of wine you have consumed.

You relieve yourself and wash up, trying your best to empty your mind. Mihawk wasn’t here, and there was nothing between the two of you anyway. On the other hand, there was a hot, sweet, guy your age in the other room who seemed more than interested in fucking you tonight, and you have every right to indulge in that.

I expect great things of my favorite student… his voice lingers in your memory, and you shake it away as you splash cool water on your face to calm your nerves, before drying your hands and heading back through the corridor.

It’s well into the night, and only a faint trace of light illuminates the dark hallways; a hint of moonlight shining through the windows, and a very distant orange glow from the candles lit in the dining room.

You don’t realize how drunk you are until you’ve left the bathroom, the buzz dulling your vision and coordination as your hand slides against the wall for support. Carefully, you put one foot in front of the other, trying to concentrate on not stubbing your toe or knocking something over.

All of a sudden you feel a shiver go up your spine as a shadow moves out of the corner of your eye, startling you. You spin around, scanning the darkened space in a panic, expecting to have stumbled upon one of your classmates, but no one is there.

With your brow furrowed in confusion, deciding that it was just a trick of the light along with your inebriation, you turn back around to continue forward.

That’s when you feel an arm circle around your waist, pinning your arms to your sides, and a hand grip tightly over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide and you try to scream, but the air is squeezed out of you when you are pulled further back into the hallway; the faint noise you squeak out muffled behind their palm, the heels of your boots dragging silently across the carpet.

Whoever has a hold of you is significantly taller and stronger than you, your struggles doing absolutely nothing against their sheer size and brute strength. Your mind goes into panic mode, the weight of drunkenness slowing your reflexes and sapping away your energy, all ounce of your training gone as you squirm in their arms helplessly.

“My, my, what do we have here? Has a little rabbit lost it’s way?” A deep voice teases, tightening their grip around you more to get you to stop wiggling, “I’d be careful with how you move, little one, I might not be able to control myself,” he purrs into your ear, pressing his pelvis into your ass.

You can feel the bulge in his pants harden as he grinds into you. Heat rushes into your cheeks, flooding through your veins as you whimper into his hand, terrified and turned on at the same time.

“Lucky me, it seems like my little rabbit has had too much to drink,” he drawls in your ear, making your heart thump wildly in your chest, “Makes you nice and pliant for me, doesn’t it? So easy to take advantage.”

He finally removes his hand from your mouth to thread through your hair, forcing your head to the side so he can kiss and bite, sucking dark marks into the tender flesh of your neck.

You go slack in his arms, your strength depleted as you surrender to his will, “P-please, don’t… I-I have someone waiting for me, I won’t tell anyone…”

He licks the shell of your ear, pressing you firm between him and the wall, your back slightly arched, one of his feet kicking your legs a part, “Hmmm, and who would you even tell that would actually believe you?”

Nervously you swallow the lump in your throat in an attempt to sound normal, and not the mixture of scared, horny, and disoriented that you actually feel, “I would tell Sir Mihawk, he-he cares for me, he would believe me. So just let me go, and I promise not to tell him.”

“Is that so?”

To your surprise you are flipped around, your back hitting the wall with a dampened thud as your hands are pinned to either side of your head. In the darkness you see two golden orbs peering down at you, your vision adjusting to the faintly shadowed face of Mihawk.

“Sir?!” You exclaim, completely shocked, “But-but you said you were leaving-…”

“What did I tell you the other day, Y/N, hm?” His grip is tight against your wrists, and his sharp features look even more intimidating and angry in the shadows of the moonlight, “What did I make abundantly clear?”

You wrack your hazy mind for what he could be speaking of, but you can’t seem to think of it. All you can remember is how he felt against you, warm and firm and tantalizing, just as he does now, your body aching to be touched as he whispers to you Good girl, Good Girl, Good Girl…

You bite your lip and press your legs together in desperation, your fingers twitching while you whine, “I’m sorry, I don’t remember…”

“Forgotten already?” He sneers, with a sharp suck to his teeth, “How very disappointed I am in you, Y/N. I’m not gone for even a day and your discipline has completely slipped away. I told you, be on your guard at all times.”

Mentally you slap yourself and squeeze your eyes shut to avoid looking at him, shame sinking into your stomach.

“I warned you not to get too comfortable, that I expect better of you. But what do you do once my back is turned? Get drunk and prowl around looking to get fucked? You think I don’t know what is going on inside my own castle? I know Raegan is waiting for you, waiting to take you to his bed.”

Your eyes snap open wide as you shake your head, “No, no! He-he was nice to me, but nothing hap-…”

But he cuts you off again, and you could swear that he sounds jealous, “Is he the reason why I catch you daydreaming in the middle of training?”

He’s flush against you now, his knee pressed up in between your legs, making you gasp as it nudges your clit through your pants, soaking your panties. His eyes are piercing down at you through the dark, his warm breath ghosting over your lips, his mouth just inches from yours.

“No, Sir, not him. He’s not the one I’m thinking of…”

A moment passes and you see a light flash in his eyes, sudden and intrusive before his lips collide with yours, hungry, possessive, and raw. He nips your bottom lip, causing you to cry out at the sharp pain, silencing you with his tongue as it greedily licks into your mouth.

Pleasure sings through your body, his wicked lips leaving trails of electric ecstasy in their wake while he swallows every gasp and whimper you breathe into him, before finally pulling away.

One of his hands snatches both of your wrists, pinning them above your head while he trails kisses down your neck to your collar bone. His free hand reaches under your shirt to caress up your belly, before cupping one of your breasts in his hands, his thumb and forefinger tugging on the sensitive bud of your nipple.

A moan tears itself from your throat, and you bury your heated face into the side of your arm, embarrassed at how eagerly you are reacting to him, like melted putty in his hands.

He groans softly in response, nipping at your earlobe as his hand wanders further down, fingertips dipping below your waistband.

“Tell me no,” he murmurs, unbuttoning the fly of your pants, and inching down your lower stomach, “Tell me no and I’ll stop.”

The pad of his middle finger caresses you, glides along your slit and up to your aching clit, rubbing little circles through your soft, wet panties. Warmth pools in your tummy, throbbing down to your needy cunt as more slick dribbles out to trail down your quivering thighs.

You’re both staring at each other, half-lidded and slack-jawed, desperate for more as your breath mingles together while he teases you mercilessly.

Tell me no and I’ll stop…

But you don’t want him to stop, only want him to take it further; want him to rip your clothes off, dip his fingers inside, then fuck you so hard against the wall that the entire castle hears you cum on his cock.

The thought makes you ache as you whimper, “Mihawk.”

He smirks down at you, pleased with your reaction while he suddenly withdraws his hand from your pants, making you moan in frustration, “No wait, please don’t stop…”

Your hands are released when he kisses you once more, before backing away to give you space, leaving you wanting.

“I’m afraid our time is up for the night, little rabbit. Meet me in my quarters upstairs after sundown tomorrow, tell no one I am here. Do not be late.”

And just like that he melted into the shadows once more, gone just as fast as he had appeared to you. You have no idea how long you have been gone, the interaction feeling both lightning fast, but also like it had transpired over the course of hours, suspended in time.

Your fingertips brush over your tingling, kiss-swollen lips, the remnants of his touch lingering all along your body; yet being all alone in the dark made it almost feel like it was just a dream.

Slowly you pull yourself together, buttoning back up the front of your trousers and smoothing down your hair and blouse. You glide your hand along the wall again, faster this time since your eyes have adjusted to the darkness.

You walk back into the common room, surprised to see that the celebration has not died down yet, and that Raegan is still waiting for you on the same couch, nursing the same bottle of wine.

His eyes brighten a little when you sit down by him again, though this time you put a little distance between the two of you.

His expression is soft and full of concern as he says, “Hey, Y/N are you okay? I was just about to come looking for you.”

You smile and nod, raking your fingers through your hair a little nervously, “Yeah, I’m so sorry, I had way too much wine…look Raegan, I didn’t mean to - …”

He holds his hand up, cutting you off, “Y/N, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I came on too strong. I just…I really like you.”

You’re flattered, truly you are, but after what just occurred you know there’s no possibility that anything could ever happen between the two of you now. Dracule Mihawk had laid a claim, and there was no way you could go back.

“Raegan, I like you too. You are gorgeous, seriously, and so sweet…but there is someone else, and that’s not going away any time soon.”

“I understand. They’re lucky whoever they are.”

You smile in response, picking yourself up from the couch once more, your buzz now fading into the realm of exhaustion, “I had a great time with you tonight, but I need to go to bed before I end up on the floor.”

He chuckles, holding his glass up in a toast while you begin to walk towards the doorway, “That’s where I plan on being at the end of the night. Goodnight, Y/N.”

The next day you wake up hung over, two hours past when you normally rise, regretting how much you drank the previous night. You make your way to bathroom, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you turn on the faucet and splash your face.

You look in the mirror, your eyes growing wide when you notice the dark red and purple marks littering up the side of your neck and spread down to the hollow of your collarbone. You groan in frustration, realizing you will have to wear turtle-neck shirts and scarves for the next week to avoid anyone seeing them.

The events of last night rush back through your memory, leaving you reeling. It had all seemed like one big magnificent dream, a perfect fantasy that your mind created. But the evidence is littered all over your skin, and in a moment of panic you remember that you promised to meet him later tonight.

What could he possibly want? Had last night been some sort of trick, some sort of test that you had possibly failed?

For the rest of the day you try your best to not agonize over what awaits you in Mihawk’s study tonight. You take an extra long bath, scrubbing away your hangover, and then sneak down to the dining hall for a late breakfast, with the hopes that you won’t run into anyone there. You’re in luck, as it seems all of your classmates are still sleeping off their night of debauchery.

You pack a small bag and head up to the hills behind the castle to be alone, where you read, eat toast and jam, and practice a little bit with your sword. Eventually the day has gotten away from you, and you are shocked when you realize that the sun will set in less than an hour.

Anxiety quickens your heart beat while you gather your things and make your way down to the castle again, admiring the sky bathing the island in reds, oranges, pinks and purples. You wish it wouldn’t end, because for all you know it could be the last time you see the sunset on Gloom island. For all you know you made a terrible mistake last night and he would be throwing you out.

You walk quickly through the hallways, avoiding every single person you pass until you get to your bedroom. You put your sword away in your closet, and give yourself a once over in the mirror. With a sigh you gather your courage, pushing down the mixture of fear and excitement that rolls in your stomach as you make your way up the stairs.

The last bit of light has faded beyond the horizon of the island, shadowing the castle in a dark, eerie blue that creeps in from the hallway windows of the upper floor. You had never been in any of the rooms up here before, everyone knew the top floor was out of bounds to the students, that it was all private to Mihawk.

At first you were not sure which door to knock on, seeing as he hadn’t been very specific. But that’s when you saw a faint strip of light glowing from under a massive set of ornately carved wooden doors.

Slowly you walk up to the doorway, your heart beating in your throat, palms sweaty from nerves. After a moment of hesitation, you squeeze your eyes shut and knock twice.

The light between the cracks of the doors flickers slightly before they open, revealing Mihawk’s piercing eyes staring down at you. He opens the door all the way once he sees that it’s you, and steps to the side to allow you in.

“Please, come in Y/N.”

You bow your head a little, ducking past him in an attempt to hide the blush that’s deepening across your cheeks, his eyes never leaving you. He closes the door behind you, making goosebumps erupt across your skin with a flash of excitement as he brushes behind your back momentarily, before walking over to a chair by his fireplace.

You look around the room, taking in how gorgeous it is. It’s just his style, all black and red velvet, lavish four post bed, intricate rugs and a large fireplace that lights the entire room a glow. It looks overwhelmingly romantic.

“Uhm, Sir?” You say, lacing and twiddling your fingers together nervously, “Did I…was last night some kind of test?”

There is a pause in the air while Mihawk pours himself a glass of wine, swirling and savoring it with a gentle sip, before his eyes lock onto yours, predatory and serious.

“A test? What kind of test would that be, hm?”

He moves toward you, slowly, his tall form casting a long shadow over you. You bite your lip, and inch back subconsciously, unable to look him in the eyes as he continues his advance.

“I-I’m not sure…” You mutter, glancing up to see him circle around you, “This past week has been so-so… confusing.”

He smirks down at you after taking another sip of his wine, nonchalantly swirling it, eyeing the red liquid as if bored; as if he had no clue how questionable and different your relationship had been lately.

“Whatever do you mean, Y/N? I think I’ve made my intentions abundantly clear.”

Your brows furrow together, and you wipe your perspiring hands against your shirt as he continues to circle you like a hawk, “You’ve been testing me, I’m sure of it…testing my will-power, my patience.”

Mihawk stops in his tracks behind you, and you feel an electric shock pulse up your spine when he caresses the back of your shoulders, making you gasp softly in surprise when he murmurs in your ear, “Is that so? Well then, how do you think you’re doing so far?”

You shiver, eyes fluttering while his fingertips continue their gentle exploration of your neck, hair, and shoulders, “You haven’t thrown me out yet… do you test all of your students this way?”

Your body goes lax when you feel his arms snake around your waist, pressing the front of his body to your back, his lips brushing along the shell of your ear, “No, just you… I knew you were special the moment I laid my eyes on you.”

You shut your eyes and bite your lip, your heart thumping so loud you can feel it in your ears. With a slight moment of hesitation you slowly bring your hand up behind you, and dare to run your fingers through his thick, dark hair. You hear him sigh, and his head relaxes on your shoulder as the two of you hold one another; but it doesn’t last long as he withdraws from you, wandering back over near the fireplace to sit in his black velvet chair.

His eyes are back on you with that predatory look once more, gazing at you over the lip of his wine glass while he takes another sip, un-blinking.

You’re speechless, your skin tingling where he touched you, your core fluttering as you press your legs together, wetness flooding your panties. His eyes look you up and down, his pupils blown wide, making you blush when it looks like he’s enjoying watching you squirm.

Suddenly he puts his wine down, and sits on the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees, looking you in the eye and firmly saying, “Take off your clothes.”

Your eyes go wide and your mouth opens in shock, thinking he can’t possibly be serious, “Wh-what?”

“You heard me, Y/N. Take off your clothes.”

You fold your arms tight to your body, and bite your lip, shaking your head, “Is this… this is another test isn’t it?”

“I wonder, or do you think we’re possibly past that now?” He drawls, one of his eyebrows quirked up in a faux-puzzled expression, “Now I don’t like to be kept waiting, Y/N. I said take off your clothes.”

Heat floods you head to toe, head reeling, his authoritative words ringing in your ears. His eyes are fixed on you, stern and swimming with impatience.

Your body slightly trembles as you play with the hem of your shirt, debating on whether or not you are going to obey him. You’ve never disobeyed an order from him before, and your body aches for him, is screaming at you to strip and offer yourself. But there is still a seed of doubt in your mind, a fear that if you blindly debase yourself for him that he will be disgusted by you.

In the end, your carnal desires win when you lift your shirt over your head and drop it to your feet, your boots and pants coming off next until you are left in your bra and panties, skin tinged pink with a mixture of excitement and embarrassment as he stares at you.

“Come here,” he beckons, twitching his fingers in a come-hither motion, his yellow eyes almost black while his blown-out pupils rake over your body.

You obey, stumbling forward slightly, your knees knocking together while you look at the floor to avert his searing gaze. You stop about a foot away from him, the heat from the fireplace warming you, the light from the flames dancing along your exposed skin.

Finally you look up at him once more, the fire flickering back in his eyes, making him look even more dangerous than he normally does. He takes a deep breath, his teeth raking his bottom lip before he says, “Take off all of your clothes.”

You shiver at his tone, deep and serious, a wave of arousal rolling through your tummy. You expected that he would ask this, but in the back of your mind you didn’t think he would go this far.

Every limit you ever thought you had is surpassed the moment you unhook your bra and abandon it on the floor, your breasts perking up as they are exposed to the open air; your panties soon after being tugged down your legs and kicked away.

Mihawk is on the edge of his seat, staring you down with a possessive and heated look when he finally speaks again, “Now, get down on your knees.”

You blush furiously, but comply, sinking down to your knees on the plush carpet in front of him, covering your breasts with your arms and pressing your thighs together to maintain some level of modesty.

That makes him smirk, a light laugh exhaling from his lips, “Don’t be shy, be a good girl and spread your legs for me, then put your hands behind your back.”

You whimper, your limbs shaking a little when you sit up on your knees and spread your legs, revealing your glistening pussy while you cross your arms behind your back. There’s no going back now, no where to hide yourself as you kneel completely bare before him.

Mihawk licks his lips in response, giving you a once over, looking like a hawk about to devour his prey, but only after playing with it just a little.

“You like this, don’t you, Y/N?” He asks with a devious smile while he eye-fucks you, paying special attention to your chest and cunt, reveling in how delirious with arousal you’ve become.

You bite your lip, your body trembling as heat licks up your insides. In response to his question you nod, no use lying about it now that the want is fully on display, leaking out of you.

He grins and gets up from his chair, circling around you once more before he leans down on one knee to get eye-level with you, gently grazing his hand along your collarbone, before tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“If I feel between your legs, how wet are you going to be for me? Or should we just wait to see if you make a mess of my carpet?”

You bite back a moan, your nails digging into your forearms behind your back, your heart pounding wildly in your chest, your clit throbbing at his words. The fear of him being right shoots heat right through your veins, and at this rate you would start dripping. The thought visibly flushes your face and the tips of your ears a dark crimson color.

His hand is now on your thigh, creeping further and further towards your slick center, his lips ghosting along the underside of your jaw as he does so, making you shiver with need, “Would you like me to check?”

You let out a shaky breath when he pulls back to look into your eyes, pondering and searching for any hesitation while his fingers continue their journey, “Tell me no…” He says, just like he said in the dark hallway the night before, “Tell me no, and I’ll stop.”

His face is even closer to yours now, the ghost of a kiss just an inch from your lips. You shake your head, pressing your forehead to his, pleading, “Please… Please don’t stop.”

He caresses one of your breasts, thumb stroking over a hardened nipple, causing you to pant, your breath tickling over his face, his other hand gripping your hip, “Tell me, little rabbit… why have you continued to humiliate yourself for me this entire week? Why have you let me treat you this way in front of the others, and in private?”

“I-I…” You try to find the words, your mind numb with pleasure, your nerves alight as his touch electrifies you, and then the realization even surprises you, “I like it. I like the way it makes me feel. You’re my teacher, my master, my Sir… I like it when you control me.”

His smile is wicked, pleased with your answer, and that’s when he finally touches you, just barely, and your pussy is dripping slick. You whine as ecstasy rolls through your body, his fingertip exploring your drenched folds.

“What a naughty rabbit you are… I knew what a good, little pet you would be the first time I ever saw you,” He purrs in your ear, spreading your wetness around your stiff clit, “Perhaps I should have the other students come in, since you like this so much. Have them watch and learn what it’s like to be truly obedient.”

Your eyes widen in horror, your body uncontrollably trembling in his hands, but still you hold your position, “N-no, Sir, p-please don’t!”

It’s then that he kisses you, never once stopping his exploration; the movements on your clit increasing while he ravages your lips, his slick tongue invading your mouth to slide over your own wet muscle. You keen into his mouth, opening even wider as you drink each other in with wild abandon.

He finally breaks away, chuckling lowly, “Just teasing you, pet, I wouldn’t dream of it. From here on out you are mine. All mine. Is that understood?”

You nod, dazed as you press your face into the side of his neck, “Yes, Sir… that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Your fate is sealed with another kiss when his fingers finally enter you, curling up to fuck into that sensitive spot inside that makes you see stars. You cry out into his mouth as he alternates between scissoring his thick fingers into your cunt, and rubbing them over your clit, rocketing you hard and fast towards your orgasm.

“I’m sure those poor knees of yours are getting awfully sore, darling. I’ll reward you and make all of the aches and pains go away if you can cum just like this.” He says, lips brushing over your ear, his goatee tickling your jaw.

You moan, your head thrown back while he begins to nip and suck at your neck, leaving marks of pleasurable pain in his wake as he keeps continuous pressure on your clit, rubbing small circles into the wet bundle of nerves. Heat and pressure is slowly building in your tummy, a tight knot threatening to snap as pure rapture bleeds through your body, pumping hot in your veins.

“Mihawk, Sir… plleeeeaase.”

“Mmm, such a good girl. So soft, and pliant and wet.”

His praise fuels the fire in your belly, your thighs shaking with desperation as his fingers never cease their relentless pace; a little puddle of your arousal coats his hand and dampens the carpet below. The pressure continues to build, your skin flushed pink, your warm, drenched cunt clenching around nothing when his fingers overstimulate your clit.

“You’ve been such a good girl, my little rabbit. You deserve to feel good after all I’ve put you through. Now cum for me.”

You pant into his neck, chest heaving as you whimper, your eyes squeezed shut as the pressure inside you overflows, tension snapping. You twitch in his embrace while your orgasm overwhelms you, feeling yourself flutter and gush on his hand, your entire body pulsing in time with your rapidly beating heart.

“Messy little thing,” he teases, extending the fingers he used to pleasure you to your lips, “Looks like I was right about you making a mess. But don’t worry about that now, be a good girl and clean me up.”

You suck on his slick digits obediently, trembling from your orgasm while pressed flush against him. He pulls apart your arms that have been folded behind your back, nudging them to wrap around his neck. After cleaning your wetness from his fingers he cradles your face, pressing tender kisses to your mouth and cheeks.

“So perfect, you did so good for me, Y/N,” he coos while he gathers you up in his arms, getting you off the position on your knees to his lap, “Always so perfectly obedient, doing exactly what I say.”

His praise puts you on cloud nine, adoration and devotion radiating through you; still aglow from your orgasm as you snuggle to his chest. He picks you up and swiftly begins to make his way over to his bed, reigniting your excitement and arousal for the reward he promised you.

“And good girls who listen…” He says, before throwing you onto the bed on your back, and immediately gripping your thighs to pull them a part, “…get rewarded for their impeccable behavior.”

He towers over you on the edge of the bed, almost folding you in half, your ankles close to your ears. His hands have you spread open wide, leaking cunt on full display, thumb toying with the hood of your clit before he licks up your slit.

You gasp out a whine, your hands flying to tangle in his hair. His eyes are fixed on yours, half-lidded, pupils still blown with insatiable desire while he eats you out, alternating between lapping at your clit and tonguing your drenched opening.

Your second orgasm hits you by surprise, his expert ministrations flooding you with euphoria as you bite your lip to keep from screaming; your nails digging firm against his scalp while you rut against his face.

“Mm, exquisite,” he hums once you’ve gone slack again, twitching in the afterglow while he crawls up your body, “I think your delicious cunt was made for my tongue.”

His black facial hair glistens in the firelight on his jaw when he licks his lips, leaning over you till you are face to face once more, breath mingling, “I’m sure it was made for my cock as well.”

“Sir please!” You sob, keeping yourself wide open for him, “Please, I need it so bad! Please fuck me…”

He grins down at you, face darkened by the flickering shadows of the room, caressing your cheek, and wiping away a stray tear that falls from the corner of your eye. Then he kisses you, all tongue and teeth, wet with your spit and slick on his lips.

Once he pulls away he sits back up, thumb hooked into the waistband of his pants, the outline of his cock bulging against his leg. You whine once more, squirming with need, and when he takes off all of his clothes it makes you throb. He’s the biggest you’ve ever seen: long, thick, and heavy, red at the tip and leaking precum.

“I know, little rabbit, I know,” He says lowly, stroking himself while he positions between your legs, “I’ll give it to you. Are you going to be a good girl and take it all?”

Your eyes are wide, your body shaking. It’s been a long time since you’ve had anyone inside you, and never someone his size before, but you nod, “Yes, Sir, I-I can take it...”

“Good girl.”

And then he’s pushing into you, stuffing the tip of his dick into your dripping cunt, and even with the amount of lubrication your body has created for you, the feeling of being split open sucks the air right out of your lungs. He grabs your legs and hoists your ankles over his shoulders, driving his hips down with a quick thrust to fully sheath himself inside of you. The motion makes you cry out and claw at the bedding, your body completely encased by his as he folds you, then begins an utterly ruthless pace.

Never have you been so full before, stretched to capacity while he fucks into you, staring down at you with fierce concentration, as if he were dueling you in a swordfight. He watches you fall apart entirely, tears streaming down your face while you cry and whimper his name, and every other little sound of pleasure and pain in between.

His cock touches every inch inside of you, pounding your G-spot with a fierceness that makes you feel like you are going to black out. Every cell in your body seems to scream and sing in unison when he finally reaches down and flicks at your clit, sending you into an immersion of pain and ecstasy that you didn’t know could possibly exist as you cum hard around his cock.

The two of you pant in unison, him stilling inside of you to give you a moment to come back to reality once more. Your body is thrumming with overstimulation, blood rushing wildly through your veins as his face swims in your vision. He’s biting his lip, concentrating on not cumming inside of you as he begins to pull out of your slick heat.

“Such a good girl for me, taking my cock so well,” His praise washes over you again, easing the ache of his dick withdrawing from you, “But I’m not through with you yet, little rabbit.”

Suddenly your legs are removed from their perch on his shoulders, and you cry out when you are flipped over onto your stomach. He manhandles you onto your hands and knees, soothing his hand along your spine so you arch your back.

“I think I’ve been more than generous with my reward, don’t you?”

He grabs you by the hair, forcing your head back so he can look into your eyes, making your back arch even more. You whimper at the rough treatment, exhausted from the amount of pleasure ripped from your body, but obediently you look into his glowing eyes and nod.

“Y-yes Sir, thank you, thank you so much.”

He grins his devious smile once more, kissing you hard on the mouth before releasing your hair and withdrawing behind you, “I think that means I deserve my own reward then.”

Without warning he slaps you on the ass, making you gasp in surprise and shrink a little onto the bed.

“Tsk, tsk,” he vocalizes with a suck to his teeth, gripping your hip so you return back to your position, “None of that, you want to make your Sir feel good, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sorry!” You cry, burying your face into the sheets, “I’ll be good.”

He caresses your hips and massages the small of your back, before you feel him spread the cheeks of your ass and rub his cock over your puckered hole. The sensation makes you stiffen, but you resist the urge to shy away.

“Such a gorgeous ass, I’m sure it would feel like heaven to have it sucking around my cock.”

The thought simultaneously turns you on and makes you want to cry. Taking someone back there was something you had never done before, and thinking about him impaling you on his huge cock tonight after already being so tired and used, terrified you.

He continues to rub his dick through the cleft of your ass, as if waiting for you to respond. Not wanting to disappoint your Sir, you gather your courage, and turn around a bit shyly to look at him, tears glistening in your eyes.

“You can do whatever you want to me, Sir… I just want to make you feel good. You can…y-you can fuck my ass, if that’s what you want.”

Mihawk’s jaw tightens and he groans, his eyes seeming to flash before he licks his lips, “You truly are the sweetest pet a man could ask for. While that offer is tempting, rabbit, I will not do it tonight. I do not wish to hurt you, that is going to require some training, and believe me I will be training you. But for now…”

He maneuvers himself swiftly, dragging his tip through your pussy folds, coating his cock in your slick before thrusting into you once more, bottoming out. You moan into the bedsheets, spreading your legs further as he begins to fuck you from behind, his hips snapping fast and hard, loud sounds of skin slapping each other filling the room and ringing in your ears.

“From now on you’re mine,” he pants, his fingertips bruising into your hips and thighs, “If anyone else touches you again, I’ll fucking kill them.”

You whine in agreement, unable to use your words while your body is pounded into the bed, rattling the entire structure, slick dripping down your thighs as his balls slap against your clit.

“My perfect little student, so good for me,” He growls, grabbing your hair again and slapping your ass, his hips beginning to stutter, his speech becoming more frenzied, “Say you’re mine, say who punishes, fucks, and lets you cum.”

“I’m all yours! I belong to you!” You cry out, your neck straining back, eyes fluttering as he continuously fills you from head to base, “Mihawk, Mihawk!”

“Little rabbit, all mine. Mine to use, pleasure, and humiliate. Because. She. Likes. It.” He enunciates the words with four sharp, drawn out thrusts of his cock, “And if you don’t cum on my cock right now, you won’t for another week. That’s a promise.”

He reaches down and slaps your clit, once, twice, then three times, each one harder than the last while he pumps into you. Your eyes roll back into your head, your body buzzing as it takes control for you and obeys him, your pussy pulsing and gushing around his cock while you cum for the last time.

The feeling of your pussy clenching and releasing does him in; with a bite to your shoulder and a deep moan he empties himself inside of you, splashing his hot cum inside your velvety womb.

Bliss overtakes you when you collapse onto the plush bed, cheek pressed firm into the silk sheets while Mihawk pants against your neck, riding the aftermath waves of his orgasm.

After a few moments of composing himself, he comes back to reality; with gentle words and soft kisses he unsheathes himself from your body, and wraps you in his arms.

“Y/N, dear Y/N, are you alright?” He asks softly, brows furrowed with concern.

You’re an absolute wreck: cheeks flushed, skin damp with sweat, eyes shut. But your heart-rate has begun to return to normal, your breathing evening out while you press your face to his chest.

“Yes, Sir, yes… so good, so very good…” You smile, happy, giddy, and exhausted all at once. Sticky between the thighs, but relaxed and satisfied.

He kisses you on the forehead, smoothing back your wild sex hair for you, tucking the stray hairs out of your face.

“It seems like we have a lot to talk about, Y/N… I meant when I said that I intend for you to be mine.”

The confession makes your heart flutter, warmth and adoration surging through your veins as you turn over to face him, “I would very much like to talk about that, Sir…”

Another one of his devious smirks lights up his eyes, his hands groping over your thigh and ass, “Good, we’ll have all week to discuss the details, all by ourselves, my little rabbit.”

You give him a puzzled look, “What do you mean all week, Sir?”

He looks so smug, so pleased with himself while he stares you in the eyes and gazes over your face; his thumb tracing over your bottom lip, causing your mouth to slightly part.

“Did you tell anyone that I have not left the castle?”

“No, of course not,” You answer earnestly, wanting him to know you would never disobey his orders.

“By chance did you tell anyone where you were going?”

“N-no…”

The realization hits and you feel embers of arousal ignite in your core, your mind reeling with the promise of untold pleasures.

“Then for 6 more days, pet, you’re all mine. All mine, to play with, and more.”

Main Masterlist

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

okay, I think I could literally die if you don't do part 2 of "Bitch Pass"

🪹🪺

Bitch Pass part 2

part 1 ||

|| poly!plastics x fem!reader

|| Warnings; swearing, small smut scene, hinted at rough sex, reader facing punishment, top regina, bottom reader, regina focused, overstimulation mention, reader's a brat, regina's a brat tamer, orgasm mention

|| Summary; the rest of school was pretty boring, but the night? Yeah... reader definitely got her punishment for humbling Regina.

Requests open!

Started; october 18th

Finished; october 18th

~~~

Remember when you were surprised that Regina didn't lash out in some way the moment you'd humbled her? Well, your own humbling was quickly approaching. Unknown to you. The rest of the day had gone pretty smoothly, with Regina being oddly quiet and keeping her eyes practically locked onto you whenever you were within sight.

Classes were boring, which only made school drag on an almost impossibly long time. Sixth period was the fastest, since you shared it with your girlfriends and that always made things better. When it was work time, you, Gretchen and Karen were all giggling to each other. Whispering and sharing the latest gossip.

"And then, she had the nerve to blow up on her boyfriend!" Gretchen whisper shouted, grinning the whole time," can you believe that?"

"Jesus Christ." You murmured, shaking your head. The drama that Gretchen could get details of was honestly impressive; you wanted her detective skills.

"Wait so like.. are they still together?" Karen asked, a little confused by the ending.

"According to Trish, yeah. And I did see them making out this morning." Gretchen shrugged, your eyes widened a little.

"No way, really? Man they gotta be desperate."

"Right??" Gretchen laughed at that, the three of you had basically forgotten you were in class. But it was a work period so it's not like you were really interrupting anything. Everyone was having their own conversations anyways. The rest of the period continued on like this, Regina only saying a couple of one liners the entire time. You picked up on how quiet she had been, how her eyes never left you... you were a little confused, probably something to ask her about later.

The four of you didn't really have any plans set up tonight, so after school Regina dropped of Gretchen and Karen. But didn't drop off you, she kept you in the jeep as she went in the direction of her own place. You glanced over at her, confused but not complaining.

When you got to her room, Regina didn't waste a second of the time she had with you. Before you knew it you were pinned under her on her bed, cheeks red and heat flooding your body.

"'Bitch pass'?" She quoted you from earlier, an almost growl like rasp to her tone as her eyes locked on yours. You swallowed, realizing exactly what you were in for. She was going to get back at you for earlier today and you were just going to have to take her." Who told you you could talk to me that way?"

"You were being a bit of a bitch.." You murmured, trying to come off as braver than you felt. Plus, you liked talking back to her. Especially in this setting since you knew it just got her more riled up.

Regina's hand gripped your chin, her nails digging into your skin but you didn't care. It felt good. A low moan escaped your throat." Excuse me?" Her glare was intense, you could see the hints of lust behind her eyes.

"I said what I said." You smirked at her and she rolled her eyes, flipping you over so suddenly it nearly gave you whiplash as you landed on your front. A grunt falling from your lips." Regina-"

She pressed herself against you, her lips brushing against your ear," safe word?" She murmured, her tone switching from dominant to soft. Even just for a moment to show you she wasn't really upset with you. When you'd humbled her earlier, it turned her on. So fucking much that she couldn't focus on anything else for the rest of the day. She'd been counting down the seconds until she had you alone.

"Pink...?" You suggested, Regina nodded and just as quickly as it appeared.. the softer side was gone. Her hand came down on your ass, making you gasp and flinch under her touch," a- fuck-!" Regina grinned as she listened to you.

She didn't let you rest that night. You couldn't count the amount of times she'd pushed you into overstimulation, the amount of orgasms.. you were just surprised you managed to stay conscious through it all; because jesus fucking christ.

Did you learn your lesson? No, you'd definitely humble her again. Especially if it got you this kind of treatment.

[bri-cheeses]

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 834 | Inspired by this post of mine |

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“Hurry it up, Evs,” Barty called over the edge of the roof, peering down at where Evan was climbing out of the Owlery window. Evan’s movements were practiced after years of having snuck out in the same way, and even though he was much bigger than he had been when they had first started doing this, he made it out with ease.

“Don’t rush me, or I’ll lose focus and fall all the way down,” Evan responded before grabbing the lip of the roof and heaving himself up and over.

Barty could hardly stop himself from rolling his eyes as Evan gained his footing beside him.

“Please, you could do that with your eyes closed.”

“Yes, well,” said Evan. “You’re very distracting sometimes, you know that?”

Barty’s cheeks flushed, but he blamed it on the chilly wind that whipped through the points and valleys of the castle roof.

Then, with a cheeky smile, Evan was moving, carefully climbing down the steep and shingled slope to get to their spot.

Barty had found it in second year after a particularly bad day, in which McGonagll had passed back assignments and he had been greeted with a nice fat 82%. He’d never hated anything more, because he was a Crouch. He should have performed better, should’ve gotten an one hundred and then some.

Luckily, Barty had fixed that way of thinking in the time since. Partially due to Evan, who always, without fail, followed Barty whenever he disappeared in order to make sure he was okay.

That simple fact was why Evan was the only other one who knew about this spot. And of course, Barty still liked to come here after bad days, but as of the last couple of years it had become more of a hangout place just for the two of them.

It was Barty’s favorite place in the entire school.

Evan’s cheeks were flushed as he turned back to face Barty and ask, “You coming?”

His eyebrow raised in that familiar expression of his that Barty loved so much. Merlin, how did Evan not know?

“Yes, I’m coming,” Barty responded with a grin. He didn’t look where his feet were going before he stepped, much too intent on taking in Evan up here in the chilly October air, his own version of Evan that no one else would ever get to see.

Their knees knocked together as they sat down on the edge, feet dangling in open air. When they were younger, they had been separated by several inches, but they had slowly moved closer and closer until they were sharing each other’s warmth and breathing each other’s air. Barty tried not to read into it too much.

“I’ve got a present for you,” Evan said suddenly, turning to look at Barty. He reached a hand into the pockets of his robe, fist curled tightly around it to keep it from view. Not that it stopped Barty from craning his neck to try and see, though.

“Don’t get too excited,” Evan warned, but it was too late. Barty already loved it, whatever it was. Not that he knew what the occasion for it was, or could even foster a guess.

Evan motioned for Barty to hold out a hand, and Barty dutifully obeyed. A smile spread across his face as Evan dropped a familiar-looking box into his outstretched palm.

“A chocolate frog?” asked Barty, smiling softly back up at Evan.

“Yes,” Evan said, and didn’t elaborate. Barty waited.

“Fine,” Evan sighed, perhaps knowing well enough by now that Barty was more than content to wait and hear his thoughts. “It’s just, I read about this thing that Muggle kids do on Halloween, where they dress up in little costumes and go around to different houses. And there’s something about how if they do a trick, they’ll get a treat.” He nodded to the chocolate frog in Barty’s hand, which had been temporarily forgotten about in favor of looking at Evan as he spoke.

“Anyways,” Evan continued, “I just thought, since we never really got to have anything like that, it’d be kind of… nice. To have something, I mean.”

It was nice, Barty thought. They’d never really gotten to have much of a childhood, and both of their parents wouldn’t have let them be caught dead doing a Muggle tradition. So Evan purposely going against that to give Barty a little taste of that life they’d never get to live, well. It warmed him from head to toe, even with the cold breeze blowing around them.

Except…

“I didn’t do a trick, though.”

Evan just shrugged. “The world’s tricky enough already,” he said. “I don’t see why we should have to make it even trickier just to get a treat.”

Barty smiled, even though it made his frozen cheeks hurt. And as he sat up on that roof, eating the treat Evan had given him, he couldn’t decide which was sweeter—the chocolate, or getting to be there, right by Evan’s side.

-

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: What will happen when yet another full moon approaches, could things start to change? This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

ANOUNCMENT:

In a couple of weeks I'll make a Q&A to cellebrate Gilded Constellations reaching 100,000 K words. And I'd love for all of you to be a part of it. So send in your questions, they can be anything you want, things like: How did you get the idea? Where does inspo come from? writing tips (I mean I don’t know much but anyway), character design, fancast, fav characters, things about me, about my plot notebook, literally anything you want, ask away (just state: For Q&A event or something) <3

Chapter 13: “Rebel, Rebel.”

October, 22nd (Friday)

A week after the incident, your mom had already sent your old Viper, but the Nimbus company had yet to respond to your letter. You’d gotten used to your older broom pretty fast. Muscle memory must really be a thing, since the moment you mounted it, it was like you’d been doing it forever. 

James was right, the Viper was a lot more stable than other brooms. More than Sirius’ SweepFire, and probably more than the Dark Nimbus itself. But it was slower, you’d already gotten used to the fast accelerations your Dark Nimbus had, and now you had to be extra attentive of the ball so you could make a move before it had enough time to get past you and onto one of the goals. Regardless of the slowness, the Viper was sturdier and heavier, which made it easier to do tricks like the backflip people still wouldn’t stop talking about. Last Tuesday you’d even attempted to surf on it, and you managed to do perfectly fine for a couple of meters until James spotted you and gave you the longest talk about being responsible and not doing stupid things, the hypocrite. But he was on captain mode and when he got on that mood it was absolutely useless to talk him out of it, so you nodded and promised you wouldn’t do it again, even if you probably would at some point. 

You told Lily about dating Sirius as soon as you were feeling better, she asked you so many questions, from how it’d happen to how good were Sirius’ kisses. She had been told he was really good by a girl back in 5th year, and she wanted to know if it was true or if the girl was just obsessed with Sirius like most girls in school. You omitted the fact that you probably were just as obsessed with him as they were and confirmed that Sirius was indeed a good kisser, not that you’d kissed all that many people before, but still. The rest of your friends had slowly found out about your new relationship, be it for the way Sirius sat next to you a lot more often now, because his teasing and flirting had gotten a lot stronger. Or, in the case of Tom, because he’d accidentally found you snogging on an empty classroom, at least he just gave you a thumbs up, a cheeky smile, and whispered something like “Keep it going guys! You’re doing great”.  Both you and Sirius had separated to laugh about it when Tom closed the door. 

“You ready?” Sirius asked with a smile, pulling you from your thoughts.  You looked at him with a daring face. 

You know that thing you were told not to do a couple of days ago and you promised you wouldn’t? Well, that promise lasted exactly 4 days, 3 hours and a couple of minutes. James was busy with an essay he’d forgotten about, and you and Sirius had gone flying together, and unfortunately, neither of you had a clear enough sense of self-preservation when you were around each other. Especially not after someone said, “I dare you to…” 

You were slowly standing over your broom, hands extended to try and keep your balance. Neither of you was flying too high, that way if you fell you wouldn’t get too hurt. Once you had managed to maintain your balance you nodded “Ready,” you said with a wink, and the two of you started broom surfing, picking up speed as you glided through the open fields of the school. As you were about to reach the finish line, you realized the grass was moving in a funny way right in front of you, and you frowned.  

“Hey Sirius I think–“ you started, but it was too late, something had yanked both of your brooms down and caused you to tumble down to the grass. You’d fallen over and rolled a couple of meters while he’d fallen over something, or rather someone. As you looked up you realized he was right on top of Remus, who had popped out of nowhere (probably the invisibility cloak). As the two of them sorted themselves out you stood up quickly and looked around, spitting some of the grass that had gotten inside your mouth. And then you spotted them, Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier, hiding behind a stone wall. You took your wand out and pointed it at them. Evan seemed to pull back but Barty just smiled wickedly “The fuck is wrong with you?” You roared, already walking towards where they stood. 

Barty walked head high towards you too “You saw them fall, Evan? It was hilarious!” 

“Fall? You must be bIoody delusional if you think you’re going to trick me with that! I felt the way my broom was yanked down.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a smile “Do you Evan?” 

Evan shook his head, as if Barty needed a sidekick to be vile. 

“You’re begging for me to break your stupid nose again,” you replied as you looked at him impassively. 

��I’d like to see you try,” he said smugly. 

You pointed your wand at his face, but Remus stood in front of you, calmly placing his hand over the one you used to hold your wand and pushing it down a little, to prompt you to do it yourself. 

Sirius stood still next to Remus, looking at Barty with hate, but keeping a strong grip on his wand. 

“Remus what the–“

“–He’s provoking you,” he told you calmly “he wants you to react.” 

“Yeah, well maybe I want to react,” you retorted, now slightly irritated at your friend’s actions. He just looked at you, shook his head calmly and softly ran his thumb over your forearm, still pushing it lightly down. If anyone knew about anger management it was Remus Lupin.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking at you straight in the eye, trying to get you to focus on him, rather than on Barty looking at you cockily from behind “Look at me luv,” he cooed, you looked at him for a second but turned your eyes back to Barty “I’m fine, Pads’s fine, you’re fine. There is no need to fight.” 

“You could’ve gotten hurt, we could’ve–“ 

“–Listen to me. Don’t give him the satisfaction of rilling you up. You don’t want him to be the cause of Gryffindor losing points, do you? That’s probably why he’s–“ 

“–yeah, go ahead (Y/N), listen to your boyfriends, they know what’s best,” Evan taunted from behind, you clenched your jaw. But took a deep breath, finally lowering your wand. Maybe you should’ve put him in his place then and then, how different would things have ended up if you actually had? 

“You know what Barty? Remus is right, you aren’t even worth my time.” You said standing straighter “At least be more creative with your petty jokes next time, all right? Maybe then you’d at least keep me entertained.” Then you turned around and used your wand to pull both yours and Sirius’ broom to your hands and walked back to the castle, lagging just a second so Sirius and Remus would walk by your side. 

“I want to strangle him,” you told them once you thought the two Slytherins were out of earshot.

“You and me both,” Sirius agreed, taking his broom from your hands, but lingering as his fingers brushed over yours “I probably would have, had Remus not stopped me first.” You looked at him for a moment and then recalled, Sirius was still on top of Remus because of the fall when you speed-walked towards the two Slytherin boys.  “And he’s right, the last thing we want is to start an open war in between us and his stupid gang.” 

“But they already started it, we’re just not doing anything about it.” You reproached, still a little riled up, the urge to punch Barty was wearing you thin, “Anyway, I do not want to have detention while everyone’s enjoying themselves at the Halloween party next week.” 

Remus smiled “How do you know about that?” 

“Tom and Beth told me all about the party you guys always plan together, I’m already preparing my costume.” 

“Is it gonna be a sexy Halloween costume, luv?” Sirius chimed in, leaning towards you with a little smirk on his face. 

 You pushed him back playfully “Ugh… don’t be such a dog!” 

Remus laughed at that, “I’m sure you’d look pretty even in a sack of potatoes.” 

“Yeah, in a very short one,” Sirius teased even further. 

“If only my boyfriend was as much of a gentleman as his friend here,” you said with a playful sight.

“You clearly don’t know Moony’s dark side,” Sirius chimed. 

You arched your eyebrows at that “And you do?” 

Sirius was about to respond when Beth showed up, looking a bit agitated as If she had been running “There you are!” She said as she stood in front of the three “Professor Spellman wants to see us earlier today, something about a special announcement.”

You frowned “Right now?” You asked. She nodded. 

“But we haven’t eaten!” Sirius complained. 

“I don’t think it’ll take too much,” Beth said with a shrug, “But it did seem rather urgent.” 

You nodded and the four of you started walking towards the North Tower. When you arrived, you realized they hadn’t exclusively called your class, in fact, the entire school year had somehow crammed inside the classroom. There were barely any sits left, when Tom saw Beth, he quickly waved to her and she went to sit besides him. You scanned the room and found only one table free, you rolled your eyes when you realized Evan and a Slytherin girl from his year whose name slipped your mind were sitting behind it. You looked at Sirius and pointed at the only free spot with a nudge of your head. 

He rolled his eyes but the three of you walked towards the table, the boys pushed the two chairs together and you squeezed in between the two. Leaning ahead a little so they could accommodate their larger backs onto the chair. Sirius had placed his hand on your tight under the table, and you gave him a look, “I’m gonna fall if I don’t grab onto something,” he said with an innocent smile.

“Yeah, sure enough, Puppy,” you replied playfully. 

“Hm… that’s the fifth from this week,” he said as he squeezed your tight.

Then you felt something pull your hair from behind. You turned around pissed and Evan was smiling “What? Did I ruin your cuddle time with your two boyfriends?”

You looked at him, but smirked “Why, you jelly?” You asked but didn’t give him enough time to reply, “You should know by now that my cuddle time knows no bounds. It's an exclusive club with a very long waiting list. But don't worry, I can squeeze you in somewhere between Tuesdays and never." 

Evan’s face turned sour while Sirius looked at you with a proud smirk and Remus laughed, chest rumbling behind you. He was about to retaliate when Professor Spellman walked in. So you decided to piss him off even further “Shh honey…” you said as condescendingly as possible “Teacher’s about to speak,” finally you turned around with a smirk. 

Remus gave you a side eye and placed his hand, palm facing up, just above your lap, raising his eyebrows, you understood what he meant in a second and high-fived him instantly, giving him a wink before leaning over the desk a little, to give the two boys some space. 

When Spellman finally reached his desk, he gave you a stern look “Miss (Y/LN), why are you sitting between Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin?” 

“There was nowhere else to sit,” you replied, motioning to the crammed classroom “I can sit on the floor if you want though.” 

The Professor sighed but nodded, “That won’t be necessary, this won’t take too long,” he said, before waving his wand and letting a long banner unroll from the ceiling over the chalkboard.

It read: The Moon and the Stars

“As some of you who keep up with the astral cycle may know, next Sunday is full moon,” Spellman said, you felt Remus tense behind you, which made you frown, but the professor kept talking, and you ended up shrugging it off “And not only that, but a very interesting phenomenon will also occur, it will be a bIood moon, which makes it the perfect moment for an astrology class,” He said with a proud smile “You will all be excused from today’s class in exchange for 2 hours of your Sunday night.” There was a mix of groans and cheers in the classroom, from those who were happy about not having class, and those who were upset about having class on a Sunday “Class will start at 10 pm,” Spellman continued, not giving the children time to protest “bring your notebooks and telescopes, those who have their own. We will meet in the Astronomy tower. Any questions?” 

A Ravenclaw boy raised his hand “What happens if we can’t make it?” 

“I highly doubt you’ll have anything better to do on Sunday night Mr. Finchley,” the professor responded sassily. Remus, who looked like he wanted to say something, decided to let it go, and sank back on the chair. The professor waited a couple more seconds, to see if anyone else had a question, but upon no one’s answer he clapped his hands together “Excellent, you’re excused now. See you on Sunday.” 

Sirius was the first one to stand up, letting you out through his side, while Remus seemed to be a little troubled. Your boyfriend placed a hand over his shoulder “It’s ok mate, we’ll figure it out,” he told him. You looked at the exchange with curiosity but it dissipated the moment Lily appeared out of nowhere and hooked her arm around yours.

“The girls and I are going to go prepare some droughts at the potions classroom now, hair and grooming stuff, you said you wanted to brew a special something for your Halloween costume, yeah?” 

You nodded, Sirius raised an eyebrow “Special something?” 

You smiled in response “If you guess it, I’ll give you a prize,” you said confidently, he would not guess your Halloween costume, even if he tried a thousand times. 

“Anything I want?” He asked suggestively. 

You laughed in response “Sure Puppy, anything you want,” you told him before walking out with Lily, the girls were waiting just outside the door.

“That was the 6th!” You heard Sirius say from behind. 

Lily raised an eyebrow “What’s that all about,” she asked. You giggled in response “Let’s just say dear Sirius and I have a bit of an arrangement, I can call him Puppy whenever I want, but he gets some kisses in return.” 

She laughed at your answer “Why aren’t I surprised?” 

You shrugged with a smile, finally catching up with the girls “You wanted to make a glow potion, right?” Mary asked, “Like the one Marlene drank on her birthday?” 

“Yup, I think I’ve got all the ingredients ready too,” you told her, checking the little rattan bag inside your backpack where you’d been placing all the necessary stuff. 

Lily gave a small peak to the bag and frowned “I don’t think you’ve got glow-weed yet.” 

Tom, who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere started to walk by Lily’s side “Why do you need weed?” 

You laughed “Glow-weed,” Beth corrected “not weed, weed.” 

“Hmmm… that’s not as fun.” He said, scrunching his nose a little “What for?” 

“(Y/N’s) Halloween Costume,” Marlene answered casually.

“Oh, you’re gonna be a fairy or something?” He asked excitedly.

You paled at that and turned to him wide-eyed “If you tell Sirius Black about it, I’ll strangle you.” 

“Cheeky,” he replied, leaning closer to you, which made you roll your eyes and push him back. 

“Please don’t tell Sirius?” 

“Why?” 

“She promised Sirius a prize if he guessed. She specifically said anything he wanted,” Lily chimed in. 

Tom looked at Lily and then turned his gaze back to you, impressed “So really cheeky then.” 

“Toooom!” You whined. 

“My lips are sealed,” he said, passing a hand over them as if he was zipping them and then placing his hand over his chest. How dramatic, you thought, but then again, you were the one dating Sirius Black, so who were you to judge? 

“Why didn’t you just tell him about your costume?” Asked Beth. 

You sighed “He was going on and on about sexy Halloween costumes, he would not stop bothering me if I did.” You responded simply, by then you were already outside the potions classroom. Professor Slughorn was in his office, and Lily had been the one inside and asked for permission to enter. He was more than happy to let you guys in to practice potions that he even gave Lily the key to the ingredients room, giving you free rein to use whatever you might need. 

When Lily came out, shaking the key in her hand with a smile Marlene rolled her eyes “Teacher’s pet,” she teased. 

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug “but, I just got our hands on the Ingredients Supply, and Slughorn said we could take whatever we wanted.”

“Sweet!” Said Tom as he took the keys from Lily’s hands and led all the way to the ingredients room. He took out a little paper from his pocket and started looking for some stuff, all the while you tried to find some of that glow-weed.  

When you finally found it you looked at the combination of stuff he’d placed in his basket and narrowed your eyes at him in suspicion “That’s not for beauty products is it?” 

He shook his head with a little smirk “I’m working on a little something,” he said, “also for the Halloween party.” 

You raised your eyebrow, looking at the stuff he’d gathered so far “Essence of Laughing Lily, Blissberry Extract, Frolic Fizzweed Leaves, Lavender Essence, are you by any chance making–“ 

He shook his head and placed a finger over your mouth “–Shhhhh! If Lily busts us, we won’t be having any fun.”

You smiled complicity “Well then, keep working on your little magical project,” you said, and then leaned in closer to whisper “If you add Moonstone Shimmer, you can make the potion a bit more potent overall.” You raised your eyebrows and winked before walking back to the table on which you’d be working. Marlene was next to you, and she’d set herself to prepare a special hand cream since the weather was getting colder. 

Beth was working on an enchanting hair serum that she’d run out of. And Lily said she was working on a “perfect curls potion,” also for the Halloween party. 

“Would you mind borrowing me some of that on the Halloween party?” You asked her when she told you what she was working on. 

She nodded “In fact, I’m making a lot extra,” she replied with a smile “To keep a stash on our bathroom.” 

“You’re brilliant!” You told her with a smile. 

“I’m working on some radiant complexion elixir, also for our bathroom,” Mary said. “We’re giving some of our stuff to Beth and she’s gonna borrow some of her hair stuff. We’ll all be stocked up in beauty products?” 

“And you do this all the time?” You asked with a smile. 

“A couple times a year, yeah,” said Marlene from her table.

“Genious, can I help with anything?” 

“I was actually thinking of using some of your glow potion and add it to the one I’m making, for glowier hair,” Beth told you, you smiled and nodded. 

“Oh, that would look amazing!” You agreed, “A bit on the radiant complexion would probably work wonders too.” 

“Yes, it would!” Lily said with a nod. “And what are you working on Tom?” She asked, turning to the boy. 

He turned to her like a deer trapped in headlights, and then crossed his eyes over at you, pleading for help “After shave lotion, right?” You said casually “So that the shave lasts longer, you mentioned?” 

He nodded “Ye– yeah… I heard Remus complain about his freshly shaved face lasting nothing, and I thought, same mate. Decided to do something about it.” 

You kept a tight smile as you gave him a look. Tom was a shitty liar. “Right! I’m sure that recipe James got you from Fleamont will be brilliant.” Tom nodded and went back to his preparations. 

“Why would you need Frolic Fizzweed Leaves for an aftershave lotion?” Lily asked, more to herself than to the rest. 

You shrugged “Must be one of those secret Potter family tricks,” you said with a shrug, and then smiled when you concluded it would be the perfect time to tease your friend “I’m sure if you married Potter your in-laws would be more than happy to tell you all about them.” 

Lily gave you a reproachful look, but Marlene added to the conversation “It’d be great, that way they could get back the potion-making talent they lost on with James.” 

“James isn’t bad at potions!” She said with a shrug, not quite thinking before she spoke.

Your smile grew “Really? Tell us all about your boy’s talents.” 

“He’s not my boy.” 

“Pretty sure he is, at least in his point of view,” added Tom as he mixed some things in his cauldron. 

“Why don’t you guys tease (Y/N) with Sirius instead?” Lily said as she chopped some of her ingredients with a bit of a frown. 

“They’re dating already, what is there to tease them about?” Mary said with a shrug, “If you want us to stop teasing you, you should just date Potter.” 

You all laughed at that, but no one continued to tease poor Lily any further. As you went back to your table next to Marlene, you realized she was already mixing stuff in her cauldron. You figured most of your friends would be done with their potions before your next meal, so you decided to concentrate on your brew. 

Getting the extract from the glow weed, was the most complicated part since it required an intricate spell and some special distillation skills, but you managed to do it after just a couple of tries. Once that was done, the rest of the potion was actually pretty simple, all you had to do was add the ingredients at the right time and mix according to the instructions. When you finished, you had a cauldron filled with glow potion, it had a golden colour, slightly bright, almost as if there was some light source hidden in the inside of it. You took out the crystal bottles you’d gotten for today and used a ladle to slowly pour the liquid onto them, placing some of the potion in a small bottle with a dropper, and handed it over to your friends so they could add their drops on the potions they’d made.

When you were done, everyone was pleased with their own potions, especially Tom, who had somehow managed to finish his mystery potion without anyone else figuring out what he was making, he placed it on a small crystal bottle with a golden cap and a transparent liquid. You all walked back to the dorms together and divided the little vials amongst Beth and your room. She wasn’t all that close with her roommates, so she took smaller, personal-sized potions while your room got the bigger vials and flasks. Once you placed your small bottle on your trunk, next to some of the other stuff you’d already prepared for your costume, you walked downstairs to wait for the girls in the common room, you grabbed the book Nina had lent you and sat on the couch. Tom came down and plopped down beside you minutes later. 

“What are you reading?” He asked taking the book from your hands and reading the back cover “A spicy werewolf novel?” 

“It was recommended.” 

“Yeah, I bet,” he said with a bit of a cheeky smile and started flipping through the pages, stopping in on a page with a drawing of a shirtless man and eyeing it “Damn, he could rile me.” You raised an eyebrow, “Just look at him!” 

You laughed at that “Didn’t know you liked boys.” 

He shook his head “It’s not that I like them,” he said “I just don’t care if they’re boys, or girls, or anything…” 

You nodded, thinking about it for a second “I think I don’t either.” 

He gave you his signature bright smile and placed his arm over your shoulder, bringing you slightly closer to him “Welcome to the club!”

“Are there many others like us in the school?” 

“You’d be surprised, most of them hide it quite well though, you wouldn’t expect it, you know a few, but it’s not for me to tell. We Brits are pretty open-minded you see.” 

You nodded, “Definitely better than in my old school.” 

When the girls finally came downstairs you all walked out of the common room together, and you stayed with them until you had to split ways since they’d taken a different extracurricular. You walked half of the way to your classroom when you spotted Remus walking by himself, who also walked towards the classroom, so you picked up your pace and caught up with him “Nice to see you again, Rem!” You told him with a smile. 

“How did potion making go?” He asked politely. 

“Excellent, my costume is almost ready!” 

“You’re really going big with it, aren’t you?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

You nodded “It’s my first Halloween at Hogwarts, you guys have set the bar pretty high according to Marlene, I’ve gotta match those high standards.” 

“She said that?” 

You nodded “She told me all about your costumes from previous years, how last Halloween you dressed up as the teachers, McGonagall was mortified when she saw Prongs with an exact replica of her green robes.” 

Remus laughed, remembering that moment “Yeah, she did.” 

“What about you? What are you dressing as this year?” 

He sighed, “Frankly, I don’t have a plan yet, last year was Pads’ idea, and we all followed through, but this year he had a pretty rough summer break and didn’t plan any group costumes, we’re all making our own.” 

“I think you should be a pirate!” You told him simply. 

“A pirate?” 

“You’ve got the sexy pirate vibe going on already, why not?” You asked with a shrug. 

“Sexy pirate vibe?” He asked in disbelief. 

You nodded “Ask anyone, they’ll confirm it.” 

“Confirm what?” James asked as he caught up with the two of you 

“That Remus looks like a sexy pirate.” 

James raised his eyebrows at your words, looking a little impressed, and then turned to his friend “Hmmm…. Yeah, I see it.” 

“See? Told you! It was literally the first impression I got from you.” 

“When I went to pick you up at Dumbledore’s office?” He asked, rather confused.

You shook your head “No! When we you bumped into me at the station. I saw you, and instantly came flashbacks of those spicy novels with shirtless men on the cover.” 

When James heard it, he laughed like a madman, you were right, Moony definitely had the type. “Yours would have you, holding onto the ship’s mast with a barely buttoned white shirt, and the title would be something like The Beast Within,” James said in between laughs. 

Remus gave James a warning look, but you were too occupied gasping at James’ boldness “Are you implying Remus is a beast in bed, Merlin! James, I did not expect you to be cheating on Lily with your best friend!” 

Now it was Remus’ turn to laugh, James’ dumb joke had turned on him “Yeah James, please explain how you’d know anything about my nightly activities… I could be a gentle lover for all you know.” 

“I don’t know about that,” you teased “You do give off the beast in bed vibe.” 

Remus gasped “I’m the chillest of the group.” 

You nodded “It’s always the quiet ones,” you said with an air of mystery. 

When you arrived at the classroom, the three of you struggled to gain back composure and to calm down after the fit of laughter you’d caused each other. Remus went to sit beside Sirius, the first thing he did, was ask him what they were all laughing about, and after being told the story he ended up agreeing with you on two of the things said, First: Remus had to dress as a pirate now, there was no other option. Second: Moony would definitely be a beast in bed. 

Saturday came and went, this time you actually got to go to Hogsmeade for the first time, even if it was more of a business run than a pleasure one, the boys were so focused on getting all the stuff for the party ready that you barely even saw Sirius while you were in town. You spend most of the day with the girls, jumping from shop to shop to get some of the last bits you needed for everyone’s costume. Mary was going to go the easy route, she decided she’d dress as a kitten, her plan was to grab some cat ears and a tail, and enchant them to move like those of a real cat would. 

Marlene was going to do a matching costume with Holden, they’d both go as Sonny and Cher from the video “I Got You Babe”. Marlene had even gotten her hands on a long black wig and a small fur coat. And Holden had actually bought a hair-lengthening potion to match the look. You were certain the two of them would look incredible in their outfits. Beth was going to dress as an astronaut since she was very passionate about space exploration and some of the newer muggle technology advancements. Tom was going to dress up as a vampire and had convinced you to help him charm his canines to look like fangs.

James tried to persuade Lily to do a couple’s costume with him, but she refused every single time he asked, in the end, she decided she’d go as Ophelia, from Hamlet. When James found out he asked Remus to give him a short summary of the story and decided he’d be dressing up as Hamlet, to match with Lily even if she wasn’t expecting it. You honestly considered warning him against it, but he seemed so hopeful and they would look absolutely adorable in the photos so you decided against it. Peter said he’d dress as Edmund Pevensie, from  "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” a book he had read when he took the muggle literature with Remus in 4th year, he’d convinced Teddy Hawthorn to dress as Peter, Annabeth Doxon to be Susan and a girl who you hadn’t met yet to be Lucy.  

Since you didn’t tell Sirius what you were dressing as, he decided he wouldn’t tell you either, so both of your costumes would be a surprise to each other. 

Unfortunately, your visit to Hogsmeade was so hectic, like everyone else’s, that you didn’t even have time to visit any of the restaurants your friends always talked about, you did see the Three Broomsticks from afar, it seemed like a nice and cozy little pub, very English in its type. Tom mentioned they made mean Beef Pasties and even if you weren’t quite sure they were, the way he described them them made them seem utterly delicious. He promised to treat you to some next time you went to Hogsmeade. 

By Sunday, you were all spent, dedicating a good deal of the day to work on your costumes, Hagrid had gifted some pumpkins to Peter and you were carving along with him and Remus in the common room, Beth was gluing some patches to her astronaut costume and Lily worked on adding some details to her dress. James and Sirius were up in their dorm, since James had to work on his secret Hamlet costume, and Sirius on his own secret costume. 

“How does it look,” you said as you turned around your pumpkin for Peter to see it.

He winced when he saw it, but was too nice to say anything negative about it “It’s… a little wonky, it… uh… works with the Halloween theme?” 

You laughed in response and pulled out the book of practical spells Nina had lent you, being sure there had to be something useful there. 

“Want some help?” Remus asked politely, taking your pumpkin and using a small blade to straighten some of your cuts. 

You placed a hand over his shoulders and thanked him before going back to the book, still trying to find a useful spell, but there wasn’t exactly a Halloween section on the index. When you turned back to look at your pumpkin, Remus had already finished up refining it and it looked incredible.

“That’s… Remus, you’re incredible with your hands!” 

“That’s what she said,” Peter said, almost automatically. 

You gasped “Peter!” you said as a little smile drew from your lips. He looked up from his pumpkin mortified, you giggled “Didn’t know you had it in you to make dirty jokes.” 

“You do remember I literally sleep in the same room that Sirius, right? The ability just rubs into me,” he told you with a little smile. You laughed along with Remus. 

You heard some steps from behind and finally saw both Sirius and James walk down the stairs, Sirius casually leaned closer to you and placed a fast kiss on your lips before turning to Moony. You realized he had some glitter on his hair and passed your hand over it to shake it off as he spoke “Ready to go Moons? Pete?” 

Remus checked his watch, and nodded “Yeah, I should probably get going, I’ll see you guys there?”

Peter nodded, “I’ll stay here for a couple minutes more, I want to finish this pumpkin, but I’ll be there.” 

“Excellent, it’s settled then.” 

Sirius finally turned to you, since you were still fluffing his hair “You done love?” 

You shook your head “haven’t seen you much this weekend,” you said with a pout, not quite wanting to take your hands off his head. 

He smiled and tilted his head just a little “Don’t tempt me, I’ll end up staying.” 

You laughed at that, but you knew how important the marauder’s jokes were, so you shook your head “Go ahead trouble, I’ll see you at divinations, yeah?” 

He gave you a look and shrugged with a smile on his face, before giving you a wink and running out behind Peter and James, who had already walked out of the portrait. 

“You’re not planning to skip divinations, are you?” You asked Peter, who gave you an awkward smile in reply. 

“And Remus just said yes?” 

Peter seemed a little nervous at your question, but you didn’t quite understand why he would be “We…. Um— It’s very important business.” 

You frowned, a little unconvinced but nodded, deciding not to question him further, “Ok then, I’ll cover for you lot. I’ll tell Spellman you ate something at Hogsmeade yesterday and that you’re feeling dreadful or something.” 

Peter finally met your gaze “You’d do that for us?” 

“Of course I would!” You said, as if it was obvious “You’re my friends, I’d cover for you any day.” 

Peter smiled “You’re the best!” 

You and Peter cleaned the table and placed the pumpkins near the window before he left. Once he was gone you moved closer to the girls, both Beth and Lily were still working on their costumes, “Need any help?” You asked politely. 

Lily shook her head, but Beth responded “Yeah, can you pass me some of those patches please.” She said as she pointed at the table filled with patches, you carefully picked them up and handed them over. Letting yourself fall on the couch once you were done. You picked up the book Nina had lent you, the spicy novel this time, and finally started to read through it. You’d actually enchanted the cover since clearly it called everyone’s attention with the original one. Now it looked like a copy of a regular old spell book.

“Uh… I’m gonna feel bad if you keep studying while I’m working on a costume.” Lily Pouted from her place on the floor. 

You chuckled “I’m not actually studying though, It’s a spicy romance book Nina lent me, the cover was a bit extra, so I charmed it.” 

Lily gasped, with a smile drawing on her lips as she did. “You sly fox!” 

You smiled at that, laughing as you said “Oh… trust me, you’ve got no idea.” 

“And.. Is it actually spicy?” Beth asked, not looking up from her costume.

You shrugged, “Not sure, haven’t even met the main love interest so far, I’m barely starting the book. But I’ll tell you if it’s good.” You told her before going back to read. Every now and then they would ask you for small favors like holding the fabric for a second or passing something that was closer to you than it was to them. It was nice to just chill with the two redheads for a while. 

After some time Mary and Marlene came from the stairs, you pulled your head from the book and turned to the girls “Is it already time for class?” You asked, surprised.

Mary nodded “9:30, you see?”

“We should probably start walking there, in case the stairs decide to be funny today,” you said as you stood up. 

Both Lily and Beth grabbed their costumes and carefully sat them over a table, you wrote a small note and placed it over them, so that other Gryffindors wouldn’t grab them by accident, or after trying to admire them. Once it was done, you started walking towards the class, Tom caught up with you halfway there, and you all arrived at the astronomy tower with a couple of minutes left. Professor Spellman was already there, and a couple of students were pulling out their own telescopes as well, Tom included among them. The moon was already starting to. fade. According to Tom, who wouldn’t shut up about the way the BIood Moon worked “The moon will almost disappear completely before we can see it again, and when we do, it will turn red.” 

He seemed so fascinated by the event you decided not to tell him you’d read all about it on the pages of the divination book Professor Spellman had you read for today’s class. At some point a Hufflepuff boy walked closer to Tom, smiling brightly as he greeted him “How’s it going Tom?” 

Tom smiled back at him “Brilliant, I was just telling (Y/N) here about the mechanisms of the BIood Moon.” 

“Really? I’d love to hear all about it!” The boy said with a smile. 

You gave Tom a look, raising an eyebrow, he just smiled and winked in return, “Right! I’m sure Tom will know lots about it, I think Marlene’s calling me. See you boys around!” You said, giving Tom a knowing look, and letting the two boys flirt by themselves. 

You were about to walk towards Marlene, when you heard the same howls from the time when you’d gone to the greenhouses with Lily, a lot further away this time, but the same nonetheless. So instead, you turned around and walked to the window closest to the sound. When you reached, you leaned over the edge just a little, to try and see better, but there was nothing but an endless sea of trees, wherever the things making the sound were, they must have been very deep inside the dark forest. Then you felt someone push you over the balcony violently, just to pull you back again with a vicious grip on your shirt “Careful, you may fall,” you heard Evan’s stupid voice as he pretty much pulled you towards his chest, you could feel his hot breath on your neck, disgusting, you wonder how it was possible that you’d considered him attractive at some point. 

You turned around quickly, forcing him to loosen his grip on your shirt “What the hell Rosier?” You hissed. He was not alone either. Severus was on his side and another boy, who you quickly identified as Mulciber. He was taller  with a tank-like complexion, that contrasted with Rosier’s softer looks as water did with oil. You stood your ground, even if you wanted to step back “Awww… did you have to bring your bodyguards along? Too scared to face lil’ old me by yourself?” You mocked, “Don’t worry, I can take Frankestine and Slimmy on any day of the week.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Mulciber said, taking a step forward. 

“Offf, sorry! Guess I should have used a reference a little more keen to your level of knowledge.” 

Evan scoffed, “Do you think it’s a good idea to make fun of him?” He said as he tilted his head, pulling back a little and giving the room a once over “especially without your boyfriends here to protect you.” 

“Please, as if I needed anyone to protect me from you lot. Barty’s fan #1, Lily’s simp and Mr. Big guy” you laughed “you’re joke.” Ok, in hindsight, maybe you were pushing it a bit too hard. But you were not going to let them intimidate you.

Evan grabbed you by the collar and pushed you towards the railing again, you grabbed onto the handle, knuckles white with the force you were using, but you eyed him with a bravery you didn’t know where the hell you’d gotten from. You looked around and smiled, people were crowding up around you “You sure you wanna do that, luv? We’ve got a bit of a crowd here, too many witnesses, right? All though, I’m sure you’d fit in perfectly fine in Azkaban.”  He seemed tempted to drop you, but eventually, he let go and pulled back. You smiled and straightened your uniform “Yeah, I thought so.” 

“This is not over,” he threatened. 

“Bring more henchmen next time,” you mocked with a smile. When he was gone, you turned around to the forest again, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, and looking at the possible fall you could’ve gotten. It would most certainly be mortal. 

Lily pushed through the crowd to reach you, looking at you filled with worry once she caught up “What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)? All that bravado was gonna be worth for nothing had he actually pushed you.” 

“He wasn’t going to push me.” 

“He’s insane, he could have,” she argued.

“Not in front of so many people.”  You insisted, “Not without stupid Barty Crouch around, he’s the only reason Evan’s got anything against me.”

“That was the only reason,” Lily corrected “You insulted them out in the open for the entire class to hear.” 

“They came pushing me into the railing first. I was not going to cry for help.” 

“Ughhh….” She said exasperated, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, “Just promise me you won’t go facing those assholes by yourself. Please don’t be as stupid as the boys.” 

You sighed and returned the hug “I will not  go chasing after them Lily, I promise.” You said, and you really did not intend to do it. 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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Raead more Marauders Fiction

[spurious]

what was the moment where you said yes to McShep?

OKAY SO.

Obviously you, audioletter my beloved wife know all this but. I’m not sure I’ve talked about how I got into SGA/mcshep on my tumblr so.

After finishing the x-files in 2022, my wife’s Zaddy Husband Mitch Pileggi beckoned us to watch Stargate Atlantis (because we couldn’t stomach Walker Texas Ranger). We’ve both been in fandom for a Long Time and thus remembered the years that McShep reigned supreme, and starting the show we said to each other “haha wouldn’t it be funny if we became ride-or-die mcshep shippers?”

……..yeah.

From the very start of the show, basically every single time John and Rodney were on screen together we’d go “haha mcshep lol”

So now I’m like. trying to excavate my memories to figure out when it Became Real for me.

I do tend to love buddy slash pairings and ships where one person is shrill while the other is chill so it’s not, like, surprising to me in hindsight that I did end up shipping mcshep? And then the SGA fandom being so friendly and active just…allowed my fixation the space to flourish.

But anyway, let’s see what the first McShep thing I saved to my camera roll was!

*drumroll*

It’s this art by the amazing @luluxa:

So at this point I think I was still at the “no no, I’m saving this fanart to my phone ironically” stage.

Now, this was October 30th. By November 3rd, I have photos of a trip to mandarake where I was really hoping to find SGA doujinshi cause I SWEAR I’d seen it before (I’ve not managed to find it yet. Japanese fans why. You guys love generic white guys mcshep should be massive here)

The first fic I have bookmarked is from November 2nd with the note “oh no I have feelings about McShep now” and it is Counting Down by @alienfuckeronmain, which is a post-trinity fic.

HOWEVER. I also have a Grace Under Pressure coda bookmarked from a day or so later, and this tracks with my impressions: this is the episode that most intensely sticks out in my mind as being emotionally memorable and something I needed to be reading fic about. Soooooo I guess it was Rodney that got me, and the need to process my emotions about episodes by reading other people’s processing, and, uh, now here I am almost two years later!

SO. To get to the actual question, several paragraphs and approximately a day later, I don’t know that there really was a single moment that put me there, as opposed to a series of moments enacted onto an already-primed pump? Because truly I should know by now that the danger of doing something ironically is that you end up doing it ronically, but. I remember devouring the fic I could find that was non-spoilery as we were watching (lots of episode tags) and it definitely shaped my perspective on John and Rodney’s interactions.

But essentially, this is a ship archetype I tend to like, and Rodney McKay is absolutely the type of horrible little gremlin man I tend to like, and the fic was good, and. Here we are lmao

[slut4evanpeters]

Dancing!

cooper day x reader

song i recommend listening to: bullet with butterfly wings by the smashing pumpkins

warnings: none! fluff fluff fluff

word count: 714

notes: excuse the unoriginal title.... ya girl is feeling so uncreative 😞 anyway this is so cute! i hope you guys like this!! vv short tho not what i usually write 😞

The weather was soft with a hint of coolness that October evening, and you found yourself at Cooper’s place, his worn and warm room dimly lit by a lamp sitting in the corner of his room. Cooper sat on the old, creaky couch, fiddling with a CD player that looked like it had survived one too many garage sales. After a moment of static, the unmistakable opening riffs of Bullet with Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins started pouring out, filling the room with that haunting energy.

Cooper’s eyes lit up as the music kicked in, and he gave you a mischievous grin. “Oh, come on, you know you love this one,” he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up in that half-smirk that was so…Cooper.

You couldn’t help but laugh, rolling your eyes. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it!”

He jumped up from the spinning desk chair, his tousled hair falling messily over his eyes, and held his hand out to you. “Come on, dance with me, will ya?”

You hesitated, but his hand stayed outstretched. There was something about the way Cooper’s face softened when he looked at you, like he could care less about the rest of the world as long as you were right there with him.

You took his hand, feeling the callouses on his fingers, and he immediately pulled you close. Cooper wasn’t much for traditional dancing. No, he started with a sway and then, with the beat of the music, he pulled you into a bouncy, exaggerated headbang. You both laughed, bumping into each other clumsily, and he muttered something under his breath about needing a bigger place.

The music blared louder as the song’s chorus hit, and Cooper mouthed along to, “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage,” his face scrunching up dramatically. He pointed to you with a teasing glint in his eye, pretending to sing to you like he was putting on a show. You both burst out laughing, your cheeks beginning to ache from smiling so much.

“Cooper, you’re ridiculous,” you teased, giving him a light shove as you spun away, only for him to immediately pull you back with a playful look in his eye.

“Me? You’re the one who’s totally into it!” he chuckled, looping his arm around your waist and spinning you dramatically. He was surprisingly good at it, even if he was hamming it up for laughs. “Admit it, this is fun!”

You laughed, trying to hide the grin on your face, but he saw it anyway. He pressed his forehead to yours, and you could feel his breath, warm and close, as he whispered, “You don’t get off the hook that easy.”

As the bridge of the song hit, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a slower, swaying dance, resting his chin on top of your head. The mood shifted for a moment, and you let yourself relax into his embrace, the two of you gently rocking back and forth to the sound of Billy Corgans gritty vocals.

“Hey,” Cooper murmured, breaking the quiet. “I… I like this, you know?”

“Yeah?” you replied softly, looking up at him.

He nodded, his eyes gentle but intent. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t really do this kinda stuff usually, but with you, it just…it feels right.”

You felt a warm flush creep over you, and before you could say anything, he spun you out, making you stumble and laugh as he caught you again. Just like that, the moment was back to being light and playful, the air charged with the same electric energy as the song.

As the song came to an end, Cooper sighed and pulled you into a loose hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “This was fun,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” you agreed, your voice soft. “It really was.”

He looked down at you, his eyes twinkling. “We gotta do this again sometime. Maybe…same time next week?”

Your heart swelled a little, and you nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

With a final squeeze, he let go, and sat back on his chair. The sound of the next track beginning buzzing in your ears as you shared quiet smiles, feeling like you were exactly where you needed to be.

[potatocitytechnology]

Sweet Like Pumpkin Pie - S.JN

Kinktober Day 2

Face sitting: also known as queening or kinging, is a sexual practice with one partner sitting over the other's face.

INTRO: One fall day, you decide it's time to let go of your worries. Turns out you're a natural freak in the sheets and Johnny loves it.

GENRES: Smut

PAIRING: reader (afab) x boyfriend!johnny suh

WARNINGS: profanity/swearing, face sitting (F), face riding (F), a little body worship, more dominant Johnny but mostly no power dynamic, marking, hair pulling/scalp scratching - overall explicit content - PLEASE, DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS POST/BLOG IF YOU'RE UNDERAGE. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

WORD COUNT: 1.86k (remember, size doesn't matter)

AUTHORS NOTE: Okay. I'm already a day behind but we got this team. Also, I've noticed that my posts aren't coming up under the tags for some reason? If anyone is coming from one of the tags lmk cause it would be cool to see who is. Otherwise I'm trying my best to fix it. Anyways, enjoy October 2nd! (＞﹏＜)

*unedited*

It wasn’t something you never discussed, yet it still took you by surprise when Johnny suggested we actually try it this time. “I want you to sit on my face.” He states, no hesitation in his voice because he clearly knows no shame. It is Johnny after-all. 

You stutter over your words, trying not to choke on the words as they get stuck in your throat. “Um, are you sure?” You ask. It’s not that you don’t want to sit on Johnny’s gorgeous face, it’s just that you haven’t done it before, the activity foreign. 

A chill runs up your spine as your eyes cast past Johnny’s shoulder, watching out the window. Green leaves on your cherry tree turning orange with the call of fall. You’re almost envious of how pretty it turns with each season, but fall being the most beautiful concept on it in your opinion. 

Your eyes meet his again, determined mindset in tow as he gives you begging eyes. Johnny never wants to push you, that’s why you’re so glad he’s your boyfriend, but you need to give too. Besides, this will be fun and with Johnny you will be safe. 

You nod, “Okay.”. He smiles, giving you a peck on the lips. “It’s gonna be so much fun, baby. You have no idea how long I wanted to do this with you.” His excitement sends a thrill of excitement through your body, the feeling stopping at your lower stomach. God, he makes you wet without even touching you. 

You tread behind him as he leads you to your shared bedroom. You must admit out of the two of you, Johnny is most definitely the more adventurous lover. He always wants to try new things, but you always say ‘maybe’ or ‘next time’, though it never happens next time. To be honest, this is probably the only thing off ‘vanilla’ sex that you’ve ever done. It's more than a little sad.

His hand reaches for yours, squeezing you lightly in reassurance as he shuts the bedroom door behind you. His hand then leaves yours in favour of joining the other as they wrap themselves around your waist, the rest of his body leaning into your back. “I got you.” He mumbles through your hair. “Waited so long, gonna make it worth it.” His voice darkens as each word leaves his lips, a shiver running up your spine. 

“I trust you.” You gulp, voice sounding small. “I know, baby.” He hums, his hold on your body firm and safe, just how you like it. He gently runs his hands down your stomach until his fingertips grip at the fabric of your sweater, tugging it up. You grin, taking the hint and lifting your arms as he discards both your sweater and thermal. He kisses your neck, goosebumps following his fingertips.

Next he gets down on his knees, surprising you as you clutch his shoulders. “Johnny what’re you-” He silences you, a ‘shushh’ leaving his lips as he pulls your sweatpants down. Lifting your ankles, he throws them behind him, your bare legs catching his attention. Smiling, he begins kissing the flesh of your thighs. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” he mumbles against you. 

“Stop teasing.” you whine, annoyed that he’s not touching you where you need him. “I’m not teasing, just showing you how much I love everything about you.” His eyes lock onto yours as you look down on him. “I want you to always be comfortable coming to me if you want to try new things.” Returning to his assault on your thighs, you moan. His affirmations and sweet kisses driving you mad. 

He nips and bites at your sensitive skin, marks following the path of his mouth, but you don’t mind. All the more of him to feel tomorrow. His attention spans from your knees to above your belly button. Butterflies erupting in your stomach everytime he gets closer to your aching pussy. 

When he finally peels away your dripping panties, you’re practically panting. Your head feels lighter as all blood seemingly rushes to your core, the heat he’s kindled making you hot to the touch. He licks across your pelvic bone, the sensation making you breathe faster. His tongue swipes just a half inch from your clit and your body shakes. 

He grins, eyes mischievously peering up at you, “you’re so sensitive, baby.” he chuckles and you roll your eyes half-heartedly. “I wonder why.” is your completely sarcastic response. You want to say, how the fuck can you not be after the torcher he’s putting you through? It’s a wonder you’re still standing while he taunts you with the promise of a mind blowing orgasm. 

Your hands grip his hair as he pokes his tongue at your clit, finally giving you something. You don’t even try to hold back the moan that escapes your lips, ecstasy filling you for a short moment before he stops again. 

This time you groan in frustration, your nails accidentally scratching the surface of his scalp a little harder than you intended it to. A sharp hiss that draws into a hidden moan passes his lips, making you laugh internally. His slitted eyes glare up at you as a smile tugs at your lips. “Oops.” you add to the silence, the insincerity clearer than you meant for it to be. 

“Alright, let’s do it then.” he announces and you nod your head, wanting nothing more at this point than to sit on his face. “You sure you’re ready though?” He questions, a pointed and soft look that shows he genuinely wants to know if you’re ready. “Johnny, I’m practically leaking like a dam. Please, I want to do this.” He nods, sucking in a breath. “Okay, baby.” 

He stands up from his knees before grabbing your hand and bringing you to the side of the bed. He smiles at you, proceeding to pull his shirt over his head. You’ll never get used to the sight of Johnny’s body, he really is gorgeous inside and out.  

Going ahead, he climbs onto the bed, lying down in the centre and pointing at you. “Come’ere.” You obey, crawling to him and sitting back on parted knees, hands between your open thighs. Johnny can’t help the groan that leaves him as he strokes up your marked thighs, mouth salivating. 

“Now you just gotta put your knees beside my head, baby.” He says, leaning back to rest his neck on the mattress. You follow his instructions, moving to place your knees on either side of his head so that you’re facing down his body. He places a hand on your thigh, stopping you. “Not that way, baby. Turn around, I want to see you.” 

You gulp, a weak ‘okay’ your response. Turning around so you’re facing the headboard of the bed, you see his eyes peer up at you through his long lashes. You hover above him, your nerves now distracting you from how turned on you were, Johnny notices. 

Quick to distract you from your thoughts, he licks a path up your inner thigh, collecting the juices that drip from you. You’re too high for him to reach, still hovering above his face. He grabs your hips, swiftly pulling you down onto his already parted lips. You are then left with no room in your mind to stress as it quickly fills with pleasure. 

His tongue moves with skill around your clit, the feeling so foreign yet familiar. Of course Johnny’s eaten you out, just now like this. It’s so new it feels taboo to you, which only turns you on more as his warm tongue darts into your hole.

Johnny looks up and watches you as your lips part in moan after beautiful moan. Each time the sound sending blood pumping to his hard cock. His lips work to form an ‘o’ around your sensitive clit before he sucks on it. It sends your mind into a frenzy, your hips beginning to grind against his face. 

He groans into you when your hands reach for tufts of his dark hair, lacing through each strand and tugging as you desperately find a way to keep yourself grounded. Each frenzied moan that leaves your mouth becomes more and more careless, the fucks to give leaving your thoughts. 

His strong arms wrap securely around your hips, pulling you further into his mouth to the point you're almost worried. Johnny, however, has been waiting to do this with you for a long time, the need to have your cum covering his face overwhelms his need to breathe at this moment. 

“Wanna ride your face.” you gasp between moans and Johnny groans beneath you, your words both turning him on and making him so proud that you're telling him what you want.

You feel him nod into you, loosening his hold on your hips and flattening his tongue. Your heart quickens its beat, but you push the anxiety to the back of your mind. You hesitantly start rocking your hips back and forth, the feeling making your eyes roll back and an unholy sound releasing from your chest. 

You get no time to be embarrassed about it, and you don’t want to be. This feeling is a pure drug, he’s your ecstacy and you’re addicted. His nose bumps your clit and your fist your fingers in his hair, moving both your hips and his face against you. 

Johnny can’t believe it. His timid girlfriend becoming so animalistically wild and using his face like a toy. It’s the turn on he never knew he wanted, but god does it feel good. His fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips, working with you to rock them against his tongue. 

Your breaths quicken, the heavenly feeling of your orgasm building up making the movement of your hips stutter and and falter. You’re lucky Johnny’s strong enough to keep you shifting over him. He watches your face carefully, looking for the expression he’s longing to see. 

He picks up when your body loosens up, mouth parting and eyes going blank as you sit on the edge of euphoria. He quickly stops your movement, arms cementing you in place as he attaches his lips around your clit again and sucks. Fucking hard. 

It pushes you into your orgasm as your eyebrows furrow and your mouth forms a perfect ‘o’. Your entire body shakes as spluttered and broken moans leave your lips along with short, gasped breaths. 

Johnny watches you in amazement, pure admiration on his face as he watches you unfold on top of him. He couldn’t be prouder of you. 

You go limp, gently lifting yourself from him but not after he cleans you up. You tumble down beside him as he wraps you in his arms. Safe with him. Always safe. 

“You did so well, baby.” He mumbles into your ear, a smile gracing your lips as you hum a ‘yeah?’. 

He hums back. “And you taste like heaven.” 

You groan, really not wanting to hear about how your taste as a blush rises to your cheeks. 

“Sweet like pumpkin pie.” 

You scowl, slapping his bare shoulder as he laughs at you. Secretly you look pleased. 

[needtotouchsomegrass]

Levi x Reader | Office au | smut | tw: 18+

Word count: 3k +

What would you do if you’re cold hearted, hot boss would walk in on you while playing with yourself in the office?……

tw: smut | sex | office sex | praising

It’s another Monday night at the office. I’m working late to make sure I’ll able to hand in that one sports article by midnight. All of my friends and colleagues have left already to be with their families and friends.

No one’s waiting for me, so I can definitely pull a night shift. Won’t be able to push this article further anyways. Boss would get super mad.

I sigh rubbing my temples. It’s only 09:35pm and I still got about 2000 words to write. Ugh. I hate this job - I don’t - I hate the fact that I procrastinate until I’m so stressed out I don’t get anything done.

I sigh again feeling the wetness between my legs. I have been sitting here all day. My thighs rubbing against each other.

It’s been some time since I’ve slept with someone. After my stupider ex fiancé left me for someone half my age I haven’t felt the confidence to go out and meet new people.

I’m too old for that anyways. Turning 35 in October means it’s time to get a dog - a golden retriever for sure.

I sigh. 09:38pm.

I move my hips from side to side , grinding back in forth in my chair to loose up my back and legs. Gosh I need Sex! I close my eyes intensifying my movements until I feel myself getting wetter.

I take a look around the office - no one’s here. That means no one’s gonna know too. It’s just me. By myself.

I get up from my desk and walk along the hall. Some coworkers tend to need space from their desks every now and then so my boss got us spare rooms where we can hang out and relax to get a clear mind before returning to work.

Entering one of the rooms I close the door. Exhaling loudly I lean against it with my back.

Is this a good idea? Should I really do it here? Well, who’s gonna stop me? Jesus? No!! Man never existed.

I set myself down on one of the free desks standing around, leaning against it with my back, letting my hands slide over my body. Grabbing my boobs. Damn I have wonderful tits. My ass ain’t that bad either.

My head falls back while my hands run along my curves.

I close my eyes sliding my hand in between my skin and underwear. A gasp leaving my mouth as I realize how wet I am, feeling it literally drip down my folds.

I massage my tits as I run my fingers along my wetness. My bottomlip trembling.

My fingertips circle my clit having me legs shudder. I push a finger in and moan, not able to hold myself back any longer. Having something inside me after such a long time feels heavenly.

A second finger. Just the right length to hit the spot that’s driving me crazy.

I start pushing in and out of myself consistently at a quicker pace, gaining wet sounds from my pussy.

This feels too good to be true.

My head falls back. The air getting hotter and thicker around me as I keep hitting my weak spot.

Suddenly the door opens making me halt in all of my movements.

I squeeze my eyes shut not able to face the person entering. Shit shit shit. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Seems like you’re enjoying yourself”, a deep male voice. Footsteps edge closer to where I’m standing, glued to the desk, hands still on myself

He must be standing right in front me now. I can smell his perfume. Woody, clean.

I feel the table shift on both of my sides , “that’s quite the nasty thing to do in my office”, he’s so close I feel his breathe on my nose. There’s a heat radiating of him.

Did he say his office??! It can’t be, can it?

I open my eyes and meet my boss’s gaze. His steel blue eyes staring in mine.

They’re really pretty up close.

My eyes widen as I realize what situation I’m in.

His tall, brought figure leaning above me. His shirt half unbuttoned, eyes deep , breathe as heavy as my own.

“Sir I -“, I try to explain as he presses bis lips onto mine. His hands slide around my waist pulling me against him. Hand gripping one of my ass cheeks as his tongue meets mine, having me moan into his mouth.

His lips leave mine and travel along my throat and collarbone.

“You’re wearing too much”, he whispers before pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it to the ground.

His eyes wander across my body. Something in his gaze seems impressed.

He cups my breast with his hand, mouth sucking and biting on my nipple. I wrap my arms around his neck, running my hands through his ash black hair.

His tongue wanders up my body again. I moan as he continues to suck and bite on my sensitive skin.

He backs away, lips plump and red, cheeks flushed, hair messy.

I try to catch my breath to ask if there is something wrong. Except for literally what we’re doing right now.

I gasp as he lifts me up setting my down in top of the desk, towering over me.

He pushes my legs open, skirt further up, before kneeling down.

“Oh god, no!”

I place my hands in front of myself realizing what he’s about to do.

He furrows his brows giving me a questioning look.

“What’s the matter?” “I - ugh you can’t just do this.” “Why?” “It’s wrong. You’re my ….boss.”

His hands cup my ass while he’s still kneeling between my legs.

He chuckles. Obviously finding this while chaos way more entertaining than I am.

“You’re Right. I am your boss. That means you do what I say. And right now I want you to take your pretty little hands out of my way.”

His voice is deep and raspy but yet calm and collected.

My heart beats faster in my chest.

I move my hands to my sides looking away to avoid his gaze.

He chuckles again. This time darker and more to himself.

His hands wrap around my thighs keeping my legs opened.

I feel his breath on me as his face moves closer to where I’m aching the most.

A loud gasp leaves my mouth as his tongue runs along my inner thigh before leaving a hickey right next to my entrance - where the skin is the most sensitive.

He’s slow and tentatively getting closer to my cunt as if to find out what pleasures me.

My head falls back as he licks a long my folds. So slowly that I can’t help but arch my back trying to get away. Too bad that his grip on my thighs is so tight it won’t let me move an inch - probably gonna be bruised tomorrow thanks boss.

His tongue starts to move faster, circling around my clit. “Ugh please no - ah”.

I hear him chuckle, feeling his smile against my skin.

He gets up to his feet gaze locked on me as he loosens his belt.

“You’re a mess y/n”, he grins.

He’s right. Even though I can’t see it I can feel how turned on I am.

I watch him getting rid of his belt, veins showing on his hands as he does it.

He inches closer, standing between my legs.

“I need your consent.”

I meet his eyes. They’re sincere with a dark spark in them.

“Mr. Ackerman, I’m all yours for tonight.”

He chuckles, showing his dimples.

God this man is attractive. How did I never notice?

“Levi”, he says. “Alright Levi”, I say with a smirk on my face “you have my consent.”

And with that his lips crash into mine as if I’d just released a wild animal. His hands everywhere, making sure to touch every part of my body.

His hand slides into his boxers pulling out his length.

He aligns himself with me, his hand cupping my cheek as his eyes lock onto mine.

I give him a short nod before his pushes himself inside me.

My head falls back, lips parting as he slides in deeper and deeper. His hands placed on my waist keeping me steady. He’s cursing to himself. Cute.

He inches closer and closer until he’s fully buried inside me. He holds still one hand moving up to my cheek again.

“Breathe. You okay?”

My eyes closed I feel myself stretching around his cock.

He’s huge. Holy fuck. I feel full.

“Hm”, I nod my eyes watery.

“Y/n it’s gonna stop to hurt.”

He starts to move slowly in and out having me moan with each thrust.

I bite my lip as he starts to do it faster. Soon the pain fades into pleasure.

Levi’s found a pace that does both of us well.

His lips find mine again as I wrap my arms and legs around him. I need this man. God how much I need him.

His trusts get rougher and deeper hitting every single spot possible.

My eyes water, emotions uncontrollable as his skin slaps against mine, both out breaths heavy. The air getting thicker and hotter around us.

Everything a blur.

“Levi I - fuck”, I breathe earning another grin from him.

His lips find my neck for the millionth time as he switches the pace to something more slow yet forceful.

I moan into his mouth every time he pushes his full length inside my dripping cunt.

He grunts.

He’s getting closer too.

Levi holds my legs up having me kay flat on the desk.

Is squeak as he slaps my ass.

His gaze meets mine, eyes dark, smirk playing around his lips as if he’s planing something.

My eyes roll back as he thrusts back inside my already well-fucked pussy. This time going even deeper and faster.

A tingling sensation builds up un my stomach growing with each of his thrusts.

My breath gets quicker, my hands holding onto the edge of the desk. Knuckles white.

His thrusts get rougher having me bite my lip, holding onto dear life.

I get closer and closer to the edge until it hits me.

My eyes roll back and my back arches as the orgasm washes over me. “Ugh fuck”, Levi groans as my walls squeeze him tight. He keeps going, my legs shaking in front of his chest.

I feel my cum dripping down between my ass cheeks. Whimpering with each trust. Tears forming in my eyes.

Levi continues to fuck me senseless until the feeling builds up again.

This time much more intense.

He places a soft kiss on my leg.

“Cum for me again princess.”

His thrusts get sloppier, faster and deeper having me moan his name with each one of them.

“Levi I -“, I gasp as he bottoms me out, twitching inside me. Head buried in the crook of my neck.

My back lifts off the desk again as another wave of satisfaction crashes into me. My vision blurry as tears form my eyes.

Levi whispers something I’m not able to hear due to the overstimulation hitting me.

He pulls out, my legs falling limp to both of my sides. Muscles to weak to keep them up any longer.

I exhale loudly heart pounding in my chest.

Levi chuckles standing between my legs. His eyes hover over my body as if he were an artist taking a look at his work.

“Y/n you’re beautiful.”

He helps me sit up. Holding me steady as my body adjusts to the position.

He cups my cheek gently wiping away one of the tears. Happy tears. I-just-had-really-good-overwhelming-sex tears.

“Y/n you’re a beautiful woman and I’d be stupid to let anyone fuck you like that other than myself.”

The end :) hehe

⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡

𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ♡

[intimacyequalsdeath]

Bubz's Slasher Fictober Day 9 : (Peach Cobbler) Autumnal Equinox

Day 9 and the start of week 2 is here! I hope you all enjoyed week 1! For week two we're going to be doing something a bit different, each week 2 fic will be seasonal themed head cannons with m3-4 slashers in each post, I hope you all enjoy what I've cooked up for this week!

Notes: Minors DNI, Canon typical anything to do with the character, movie or game.

Support Me: KO-FI

Slashers when the first nips of the cold autumnal air start nipping at their noses...

Billy Loomis:

~Billy I think really likes colder weather. It get's sort of chilly in Woodsboro I'd imagine and when the first gusts of that fresh crisp air blow in he's sorta in his element.

~Billy is totally the type that would strip off his jacket if he even had the inkling you were even somewhat cold. You will not be cold on his watch.

~Due to Ghostface and horror movies, I just think Halloween and Autumn in general would make Billy giddy with sinister joy.

~If you know about Ghostface then prepare to have a lot of alone time While Billy and Stu are off terrorizing the town.

~If you don't know about Ghostface then Billy will have a lot of inexplicable disappearances and nights where he shows up to apologize at your window at 3am.

~But if it's taking you to a pumpkin patch where Stu crashes it by smashing a pumpkin or a cute little hayride date Billy will always make it up to you with seasonal fun.

Thomas Hewitt:

~Tommy...I'm not too sure Tommy even knows what Autumn is fully.

~Hear me out, Texas doesn't usually get cold or at least as cold as some places, plus with how thick this boy is I doubt he even notices the change in seasons.

~You'll have to bring it up to him, comment on it being October or the ever so faint nip in the air and Tommy is all over it, You're into autumn festivities ? So is Tommy.

~I'm sure Tommy will wrangle up some pumpkins (Steal) from some farmer who has more then he knows what to do with anyway. Drayton will also of course bitch about the mess, but for once Tommy doesn't care, the smile on your face is worth Drayton bitching.

~The house probably won't be decorated a lot, if at all. But down in the basement in a secret spot Drayton would never look is a festive little corner where your carved pumpkins sit.

~Despite the lack of cold weather, Tommy will try to make the most out of autumn if you really want him too. He doesn't have a clue why people dress up in masks for special occasions when he wears one all year round but if you're happy, he's happy.

Michael Myers:

~I mean....He's like the unofficial reason for the season.

~I'd like to think Michael has an inner biological clock that sort of, wakes him up in a way when the air starts to chill for the year. So even before the air is fully cold he knows it's coming.

~Michael doesn't really do Halloween activities, well unless you count killing people as a Halloween activity. If you wanna do festive things that's fine with him but he is the embodiment of Halloween itself he doesn't need to carve pumpkins.

~You probably won't see Michael unless you go out and look for him, If he really trusts you you'll know the spots he frequents so look there if your really inclined.

~The closest you'll get to doing an actual date night with Michael during the season in by watching the news report on all the new Myers victims while he sits next to you on the couch.

~Maybe you can even help him by marking a map of all the people who pissed you off throughout the year....Michael just wants to talk.

[asahicore]

iced matcha latte - sjh

part 2 of the coffee mini-series // prompt 70 of the 100 kisses list, an accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other’s

pairing. coworker!junghwan x fem!reader synopsis. Neither you nor Junghwan have said anything since he confessed to liking you at the end of January. You like the way things are slowly progressing, and anyways, you both know that the other likes you - or at least, that's what you think. Even though he's staying quiet about it, Junghwan might not be as reassured in your feelings for him as you think. genre. spring au, coffee shop au, just lots of fluff, they go on a date and are in love basically, also noona!reader word count. 4.5k a/n. hello lovelies sorry i took a thousand years to upload this second part but hope you guys like it <33 @zreamy cried beta reading so hopefully that means it's good 😣 as always lmk ur thoughts!! will try not to take three months to write the next parts next time lol

spring.

Flowers in bloom. A slight rise in temperatures. That weird in-between season where winter fruit isn’t good anymore but summer fruit isn’t quite ripe yet. Going to school or work when the sun’s already up, and heading back home before it’s gone down. The first rays of bright, warm sun making everyone shed their winter coats and wear lighter jackets instead. Turning down the heating a few notches. Maybe even having a picnic outside.

Where you lived, these were all signs that spring had arrived. They were all punctuated by a general sense of relief that the harsh coldness of winter was over and of anticipation for the even warmer days of summer. But for you and everyone else that worked at the café, as well as your regulars, spring made itself known through yet another sign.

“Six separate people have ordered iced matcha lattes. Six. We opened two hours ago.”

This was how your manager had greeted you as you came in for your shift, a look of worn-out exasperation on his face that you chuckled at. Yeonjun had turned his dislike of iced drinks not only into a personality trait of his but into a feature of the café as well - from early October to late March, no iced drink may be sold in his shop. Every spring, he acted like pouring hot drinks over ice cubes was costing him his life, even though those drinks made up most of the profit of the café during the spring and summer months. People particularly loved your iced matcha lattes. 

“It’s a nice drink, Yeonjun. Refreshing,” you shrug, heading to the back to drop your stuff there and put your apron on. 

Yeonjun’s still sulking when you come back out. “Milk shouldn’t be consumed with ice,” he almost hisses. You’re thankful for the customer that comes in then and unknowingly puts a stop to this conversation that you’ve had a thousand times before.

You give them an apologetic smile when Yeonjun lets out an audible groan upon hearing their order - an iced matcha latte.

What can he do? It’s spring, after all.

“Y/N, it’s been two months since the guy told you he likes you. How much longer are you gonna make him wait?”

If your manager complains about iced drinks every chance he gets, this is how Jayoon decides to fill the silence as soon as there are no customers during the shifts you share. 

“Have you been counting the days, or something?” you say, trying to get her off the subject. You have to fight back a smile, though - the simple mention of Junghwan makes your heart skip a beat. 

She’s right, though. It has been two months since Junghwan’s quick confession as he got on the bus, and neither of you have really mentioned it since. But the air between the two of you has changed - if before, you forced yourself to think of him as a friend because you didn’t think he saw you as anything other than that, now, you let all the eye contact and every discreet touch linger and let yourself bask in them. 

With the way you react to every little thing he does, you don’t think there’s any way Junghwan doesn’t know you like him back. You’re not even doing it on purpose, you just can’t help but laugh at all of his jokes, funny or not, ruffle his hair (which is very, very soft) when he does something cute (which is often), or keep casting glances his way when you work a shift together.

You like that he’s not pressuring you to give him an answer. Of course, you want to date him, and you have no intention of leading him on, but you just want to cherish those heart-fluttering, innocent moments before things get more serious. You like how it all feels new, how his good morning and good night texts still surprise you twice a day and how your heart still skips a beat when he beams at you. Although, you have a feeling that even if you do get used to it, you won’t get bored of it.

Jayoon rolls her eyes impatiently at you. “Whether I have or not is not the issue here,” she says in a way that makes you think she has. “I have to admit I just don’t really get it. You know he likes you.  You like him. He probably knows you like him. Why don’t you guys just date already?”

The volume of her voice increases as she speaks, garnering amused looks from customers in the café, and her frustration at someone else’s love life gets a chuckle out of you too. “You know that two of our regulars have straight up asked me if you guys were together? That means that plenty other people have thought the same, just didn’t ask.”

This fact makes your cheeks heat up. Were you and Junghwan really being that obvious? You couldn’t tell Jayoon that you’d also been asked about Junghwan by regulars that had noticed your recent chumminess - she’d only use it as another argument against you.

“I like the way things are right now, Yoon. It’s nice. We text everyday and hang out or study together when we’re not on the same shift. We’re just… progressing from colleagues to friends, if you will. That takes time,” you explain with a sigh. A customer comes in, and because they’re paying more attention to their phone than to you, Jayoon continues grilling you as you prepare their oat latte.

“But you like each other!” she whisper-yells. “Why can’t you progress from colleagues directly into boyfriend and girlfriend? You already act like it anyway. The guy walks you home, texts you cute shit, and I saw those heart-shaped cookies you gave him for his birthday. How come I never got heart-shaped cookies? Or any shape cookies, for that matter?”

You ignore your friend for a short moment as the customer pays for their drink. When they’ve walked away, you turn to her with another sigh and feign a concerned expression. “Is that what this is about, Yoon? Do you want me to make you cookies?”

“Of course I do, but I’m not letting you change the subject.”

“I swear this is at least the fifth time we’ve had this conversation. I’m telling you, it’ll happen naturally. I don’t want to force anything.” 

“But aren’t you scared your spark will fizzle out?” she asks with a pout.

You think for a second. Every time you see Junghwan, your feelings for him grow. He manages to make you feel all giddy inside but wipe all your worries away at once. So, no, you don’t think your spark will fizzle out - you think it will grow slowly but steadily until it becomes warm and welcoming like a fireplace fire, the kind you want to bundle up in front of and feel the flames of on your face during cold winter nights.  

As the pleasant thought crosses your mind, Junghwan enters the café, big brown eyes finding you immediately and lips coming up in that boyish grin of his you love so much. You return his smile, then look back at Jayoon. “No, I’m not,” you reply, smiling at her too. She shrugs, and you hope this was the last time she branched the topic. 

You turn back to Junghwan as he crosses his arms over the counter, bending down on his forearms so that he’s the one looking up at you. The two of you probably look like idiots, smiling at each other like you’ve just shared amazing news, when all you’re happy about is simply seeing the other. “Your usual?” you ask, and he nods.

You get to work on his latte - two shots of espresso and one pump of vanilla syrup - then ask him what he’s doing here, since he’s not working today. 

“I didn’t want to go to the library to study. I’m so tired, I’m probably just going to stare at my computer screen for a couple hours then call it a day. Being around people who are hell-bent on getting their essays done will just stress me out,” he explains with a sigh.

You chuckle. “Yeah, I get that. Students working to make a deadline are some of the scariest people I’ve ever seen. You don’t need that kind of bad energy.”

As you start on your latte art (he likes it when you make a bear, so you’ve perfected your bear-shaped milk foam drawing over the past weeks), another smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Plus, I wanted to see you.”

Junghwan always says things like this, and yet, it manages to make your brain stop working every single time. Your hand freezes and the hot milk continues pouring into the cup, effectively ruining the bear’s face. 

Jayoon’s loud groan snaps you out of your daze. She then says something about not needing your kind of bad energy and heads to the back storage. You laugh at your friend’s dramatic antics, but when you lock eyes with Junghwan, you grow shy again, finding sudden interest in the marble countertop. You vaguely notice Junghwan’s smile only getting bigger at your reaction. 

“You look really pretty today, noona,” he says, voice dropping in volume so that only you can hear him. You purse your lips together, making it obvious that you’re trying to suppress a smile, but you can’t help letting out a small giggle at the compliment anyway.

“Go study,” you say, handing him his drink then shooing him off with a smile and a tilt of your head. Three teenage girls have come in, and you don’t want Junghwan’s presence messing with your concentration. They look like the type who won’t say anything even if you completely mess up their order, but you’d still rather get it right. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Junghwan replies, standing up straight and picking up his drink. Your eyes follow his movements, and you’d be lying if you said his height and the inches he has over you didn’t make your heart flutter. 

It’s a slow afternoon, and Jayoon takes over for you once you’re done with the girls’ drinks (two vanilla fraps and one iced matcha latte - Yeonjun would throw a fit if he was there), so that you can go sit with Junghwan until the usual five p.m. rush. He complains that you’re distracting him, but even when you stop talking and busy yourself with your phone, he’s the one who breaks the silence or tries to get your attention again. You feign exasperation but he’s too adorable for you to pretend for long - all it takes is a smile from him and you simply melt.

“Noona?” he calls out suddenly after ten minutes of studying. You look up and hum, waiting for him to go on. His smile makes its way back to his lips before he speaks again, and you mirror it almost unconsciously. “Do you wanna do something together when your shift is over?”

Your grin widens, and you rest your forearms on the table, leaning in closer to him in a conspiratory-like manner. “What do you have in mind?” you whisper.

He imitates your position, and even though the sudden proximity takes you aback, you try not to let it show on your face. The way his smile turns into a slight smirk when he notices your eyes quickly darting to his lips doesn’t help you in the slightest. “Get take-out somewhere and eat at a park? The weather’s nice enough.”

Your face lights up even more at the idea. “Sound good?” Junghwan asks, seemingly relieved at your excitement.

“Sounds perfect,” you reply with a giggle, leaning in close enough to bump your forehead against his before sitting back in your seat. The small action takes the both of you by surprise, but if Junghwan’s growing blush is anything to go by, it’s a good kind of surprise. 

Then, Jayoon calls you for help, so you send Junghwan an apologetic smile, to which he responds with an understanding nod of his head. For the better part of an hour, the constant stream of customers keeps you occupied, but the last quiet minutes until the end of your shift seem to drag on and on. As soon as the clock strikes six p.m., you hurry to the backroom and take off your apron, looking at yourself in the mirror to fix your hair before coming back out. 

Usually, you’d stay an extra hour to keep Jayoon company and help her close the store. For once, you’re glad that your friend is such a fervent supporter of your and Junghwan’s relationship, so she lets you go easily - actually, she’d been telling you to just go for the past ten minutes.

Junghwan is already waiting for you outside when you leave the café. The sunlight of the late afternoon turns his dark eyes a golden color and reflects against his hair. You make sure to commit the sight of him like this, beaming as he holds out his hand for you to take, to memory. You gladly take his hand, heart swelling at the feeling of your fingers interlacing for the first time, and yet so naturally. He leads the way and tells you about the different spots you can pick up food at. You decide on a fried chicken place nearby that’s only a two-minute walk away from a nice park. Both of your stomachs are growling, so something you can eat quickly is the best. 

Ever the gentleman, Junghwan insists on paying for your food. Once at the park, you find one of the last unoccupied patches of sunny grass and set camp there. Junghwan lays a blanket down, and with a small blush, admits to having thought of this before getting to the café. “I was just hoping you’d say yes.”

You tease him for about a minute, until his bright red face and the hunger in your stomach make you relent. You both dig in, letting out satisfied hums at the crunchiness of the chicken. He seems to go for all the pieces with bones, and although you like those too, the sight of him happily eating them is enough for you to gladly accept all the boneless ones. 

Usually, people are quiet when they eat, and start talking afterwards; but for some reason, you and Junghwan are the opposite. You talk so much as you eat that it takes you over an hour to finish your food, and by the time you’re done, the sun has started making its slow descent in the sky. 

These are your favorite moments with him - laughing as you share silly childhood stories and tell each other about the many stupid things your friends have done, or getting to know the other better as you listen to what’s been weighing on their mind lately. You just love hearing his voice and talking to him, no matter the topic. You also like pretending to be mad at him when he steals some of your fries, even though he has a lot of his left - if you pout hard enough, he’ll feed you to make up for his theft. 

Either a food coma hits the both of you at the same time, or you’ve both decided to admire the sunset peacefully, but a comfortable silence falls over you. 

His legs had been stretched out in front of him, upper body resting on his palms, but after some time, he decides to lie down completely, hands coming up behind his head in a makeshift pillow. You stay in your cross-legged position and try not to pay him too much attention, but the thought of snuggling up to him and using his body warmth to protect yourself from the growing cold is pervasive in your head. For a minute, you’re so caught up in the idea of being close to him, of being able to touch his hair and bury your head in the crook of his neck, that when he touches your hand, you jump back in surprise. This makes him laugh, but you feel too much like you’ve been caught red-handed to smile too - you barely even register as he intertwines your hands together and brings them to his chest, right atop his heart.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks. As if intent on betraying your thoughts, your eyes swipe over his upper body before you can stop them. You look away, hoping he doesn’t notice the flustered look on your face, the slight crease of your eyebrows.

“Nothing,” you huff in reply.

“Are you sure?” he insists, giving your hand a slight tug, and another one when you don’t react. “Wanna know what I’m thinking about then?”

When you look back at him, a playful smile is dancing on his lips. “What?” you ask, trying to keep a disinterested tone, even though you’re hoping he’ll have the same thing on his mind as you.

His smile widens. “Come here,” he whispers, releasing your hand to reach out to you. A sort of relief washes over your body as you let yourself lie down against him, head resting on his bicep and hand circling his middle. He’s kept one of his hands under his head to hold it up, but the other one rests on your shoulder, fingers sometimes trailing up and down your arm. You hope that he assumes the shivers that rake through your body aren’t due to his actions but to the chilliness in the early evening air.

Indeed, after some time, he sits up for a second to get his jacket out of his bag. “You must be cold,” he says with what sounds like genuine worry in his voice as he places the denim over your body like a blanket before returning to his lying position. He brings you closer to him, and your head shifts from resting on his arm to his shoulder. You just need to turn your head to brush your nose against his neck and breathe in the warm scent of his skin. Instead, you lift your head slightly to admire his face in the orange glow of the last minutes of sunset.

His eyes are closed and he has a peaceful smile on his lips. You’re suddenly overcome with affection for him - all you can think is that you want to keep seeing his smile, and you want to keep being the reason behind it, for as long as possible. You’re also grateful for all the moments spent together, for all the times he’s made you laugh or done something in the hopes it’ll make you happy, for his patience and his understanding. 

You’re not thinking much, more letting your body do what it’s been longing to do when you bend down to press your lips against his cheek.

“You know-”

Whatever he was about to say is stopped by your lips against his, and you both lean back immediately with wide eyes. You’re not crazy, right? You had been aiming for his cheek, but the gods of bad (or perfect) timing had decided he should turn his head to look at you and speak just at that moment.

After the initial shock has subsided, you both burst into giggles. Even though embarrassment makes heat rise to your cheeks, you’re glad that Junghwan doesn’t seem to mind the incident, just lightly pinches your shoulder and continues laughing. You bury your head in his shoulder to hide your face from him.

“Well, that wasn’t how I was expecting our first kiss to go, but I’ll take it, too.”

The playfulness in his tone tugs at something in you, and your insides twist at the thought of him thinking of kissing you, much like you had over the past couple of months. You force your shyness away and look back up at him, a similar smile to his playing on your lips.

“Oh yeah? How did you think it would go?”

His eyebrows raise at your uncharacteristic forwardness, but you can tell that he likes it. His eyes drift down to your lips and stay there as he speaks, and his voice is so low, you almost don’t hear it. It makes you feel like it’s really just you and Junghwan in the whole park. “Should I just show you?”

“I think you should,” you reply, voice just as low as his.

So he does. He lifts his head to find your lips with his, on purpose, this time. The kiss is slow and tentative as you focus on finding your rhythm together, but it’s perfect. It makes you feel all fuzzy at the edges, makes you feel like your fingers are filled with electricity. As your lips move against each other, settling into a nice, comfortable pace, you can’t help but smile. Now more than ever, you’re glad the two of you hadn’t rushed into anything, because every single moment that has led up to this has been worth it and makes this moment even better. Your noses bump into each other, and you’re not sure where to place your hands, and you’re both so nervous you sometimes have to stop to let some giggles out, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Everything is just right. The last warm sun rays and the slight breeze picking up, the soft blanket underneath you, the chatter in the park, the boy who has stopped kissing you only to leave quick pecks all over your cheeks, nose and forehead as he hugs you close to him. He finds your lips once more, pecks them once, then a second time before kissing you properly again. You’re not in his head, but it’s like he’d tried to control himself when you started kissing, but now the nerves and excitement and giddiness have caught up to him and he can’t help but shower you with affection. You remember your hands and bring them up under his head so that you can rake your fingers through the soft locks of his hair. That seems to calm him down instantly - he hums against your lips and you fall back into your previous, slower rhythm. You can’t help but laugh at this, pulling away slightly to look at him. His eyes are filled with adoration, and his expression is nothing but bliss.

You peck his lips one last time before laying back down next to him to take a breather. He whines at the loss of your warmth and presses a kiss to your forehead, then to the top of your head, nuzzling his face against your hair. After a few quiet moments, you remember he’d try to say something before your happy accident, so you ask him about it.

“Oh, that…” he starts, but says nothing more. You look back up at him, even more curious now.

“That?” you echo. His eyes dart all over your face as if trying to commit every millimeter of it to memory and a smile grows on his face.

“Yeah… I was gonna ask if you, um, if you remembered what I said that day at the bus stop.”

How could you have forgotten? “You mean, as you got into the bus and gave me zero time to say anything in return?”

His cheeks flush slightly but he keeps on grinning. “Yeah, that. I didn’t wanna say anything, but you also haven’t mentioned it, so I was getting a bit worried…”

Even though he’s smiling, his words alarm you. Had Jayoon been right? Maybe, all along, you were sure you were being clear, but Junghwan had no idea what you were thinking. 

“I’m sorry, Hwan. I was sure I was making it obvious.”

“Making what obvious?”

How did he not know? “That I like you, too.”

His eyes light up at your words. He shoots up, almost knocking his head against yours in the process, but is too excited to notice it. You sit up too, his jacket falling off of your shoulders as you do. He looks at you like a kid whose parents just told him they were going to Disneyland. “You do?!”

You giggle, pushing away some hair that had fallen in his eyes. “Of course I do.”

He pulls into a hug so tight, you can barely breathe. This boy really needs to learn to assess his own strength. “This is the best day of my life,” he says, making you laugh again. You wrap your arms around his middle, bunching up some of the fabric of his t-shirt in your hands. 

“Did you really not know?” you ask.

“Well, I thought you might. Or at least, I really hoped so. But I wasn’t a hundred percent sure…”

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, but he stops you quickly.

“Don’t be.”

“But I am.” You pull back to look at him but keep your hands where they are. “I just… I really liked the way things were going.” You’d never been in a serious relationship before, never found someone that you really wanted to take that step further with. But now that you had that someone, you realized you had no idea how to take things from here.

His smile softens. “Nothing has to change. I like the way things are going, too.” He takes a breath here, as if trying to steady himself before saying what he wants to say next. “I just want to be able to call you my girlfriend at the same time.”

It takes you a second to process his words, but when you do, you smile so hard, your cheeks start to hurt. Was it that easy this entire time? Just say, hey, let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend now, and everything could go on as it had been before?

“Your girlfriend?” you echo, half to make sure and half to tease him.

He nods fervently. “Mh-hm.”

You press a chaste peck to his lips. When you pull back, he’s kept his eyes closed, as if savoring the moment. “I’d love that, Hwan.”

He opens his eyes as his smile gets impossibly wider, and engulfs you in a tight hug once more. He holds your face in his hands as he kisses your cheek, then the top of your head. You think you hear him mumble “my girl” against your hair, but the sound of your giggles is louder than his muffled voice.

The two of you stay at the park until almost everyone has left, chased away by the cold, chatting and holding onto each other for warmth. As always, Junghwan walks you home, but this time, he doesn’t let you walk through your door before getting one last kiss or two. You only break away when the upstairs neighbor has to awkwardly clear his throat to be let through. 

Junghwan texts you not even a minute after you’ve exchanged goodbyes to thank you for the amazing afternoon. You reply immediately, and the two of you text the night away, until your phone screen starts to hurt your eyes in the darkness of your room and you really need to start sleeping. 

Tomorrow, you’re doing the closing shift together - you already know that it’ll feel like an eternity, waiting most of the day until you see him again. But you know you will, and that’s all that matters. So you fall asleep with your phone on your heart and a smile on your face.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 (ask to be removed/added!)

series taglist: @ineedsomezzz

treasure taglist: @mosviqu

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs always appreciated!

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part twenty-three: "The Day of Phone Tag"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt has court all day and you both keep missing each other's phone calls while trying to make plans for the evening.

Or

You touch it. You finally touch Matt’s ass.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 3.3k

a/n: Transferring more of these over again! Enjoy this fluffy little installment! You can find the other installments for this series on tumblr here.

Tuesday Morning

Your hands lathered the shampoo into your hair, scrubbing your scalp with your eyes closed as you showered. You were still feeling half awake despite the warm water running over you, not used to waking up and jumping in the shower instead of making yourself a cup of coffee. Having not had a chance to shower last night, too focused on finishing an article for Ellison, you’d rushed to grab one before needing to leave for the office this morning. You knew your hair would probably be a bit of a mess, not having much time to fix it once you finished showering, but you didn’t have an option. You were just hoping you’d have enough time to at least dry it so you weren’t freezing as you walked to work.

As you were about to stick your head under the spray and rinse off the soap, you heard your phone’s ringtone coming from the bathroom counter. Curious, you pulled back the shower curtain and peered around it. Matt’s name was displayed along your screen. With a sigh, you slipped back under the warm spray. You’d have to call him back when you got out and were dressed or you’d be late to work. Rinsing off your hair, a minute later you heard the telltale beep that meant he’d left you a voicemail and you hurried to finish your shower.

It was almost quarter to seven by the time you were grabbing your things and racing out of your apartment, locking up and shouldering your phone to your ear as you listened to Matt’s voicemail before heading towards the elevator.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s me. We never really finalized our plans yesterday. Were we getting together tonight? Or was it tomorrow? I can’t remember when you, Karen, and Marci were shopping for costumes.” He paused, clearing his throat as the sound of honking echoed through the message. “If you call me back soon you might catch me before I head to the courthouse. Otherwise maybe I’ll catch you during lunch recess or something. Love you, sweetie.”

As the elevator doors opened to the first floor, you smiled at the addition of the ‘love yous’ that had started popping up in the voicemails the pair of you had been leaving each other. Shifting your bag on your shoulder as you stepped out and into the lobby, you quickly dialed Matt back. The line rang a handful of times as you stepped out of your building and onto the street, being hit with the chilly October wind immediately. And then your phone went straight to voicemail. You sighed as the automated message told you Matt was unavailable. 

“Hey, Matty,” you began after the beep, walking your way briskly towards the office, “guess I missed you. My morning has sort of been off and I’m running late, but it was tomorrow I was going shopping with the girls. Which–you still haven’t told me what you’re going to the bar as and with what Foggy was saying, I’m now dying to know. You should at least give me a hint.” You swerved around a woman who was taking up way too much space along the sidewalk, shooting her a curious eye as it looked like she was doing yoga in the middle of the sidewalk dressed as a pineapple. New York City was fucking weird sometimes. “Anyway, I’m free tonight if you are. Just let me know what you want to do or who’s place you want to meet up at. Good luck with that case today and I love you, too.”

Tuesday Afternoon

“Katy,” you whined, head rolling back along your shoulders in your desk chair. “Just give me my damn phone back. I need to check that message from Matt.”

She grinned devilishly at you, your phone in her hands behind her back. Currently you two were the only ones in the office, everyone either out for lunch or chasing a lead. Which was why Katy was being exceptionally difficult right now.

“Not until I hear you promise me,” she pushed.

You rolled your eyes at her. “I am not promising you that!” you cried out.

One of her brows rose on her forehead as she shot you a very pointed look. “Seriously? You have Hell’s Kitchen’s finest ass in your bed, girl. I’m just asking you to take one little bitty bite of it. You can’t tell me you don’t want to. And I have no idea why you haven’t even grabbed it yet.”

“You really need to stop thinking about my boyfriend’s ass so much,” you told her. “That’s my ass, now.”

A wicked grin spread across Katy’s face as she stared back at you. “Then claim that ass, bitch. Take a fucking bite out of it or something. Fuck. And then tell me about how goddamn delicious it is afterwards.”

“ Katy !” you gasped out, eyes darting around the office as you prayed no one had slipped back in from lunch and overheard her.

She laughed at your discomfort and you felt your cheeks reddening. A moment later, your distinct ringtone rang out from behind her back. Katy quickly glanced down at it behind her, her face lighting up as she turned back to you. 

“Speak of the fine ass devil,” she teased. “Lover boy is calling.”

You bolted out of your chair towards her but Katy was quick, darting around the side of the cubicles. A frustrated groan flew out of you as you glared at her from across the office.

“Promise me you’ll at least grab that man’s ass,” she said, holding up your ringing phone. “Or I’ll let this go to voicemail.”

“Oh my God,” you breathed out, frustrated. “Katy, I don’t want to play phone tag with Matt all day, come on. He’s going to be back in court and I’ll have to wait hours to get ahold of him again.”

“Then promise me you’ll at least just touch that glorious butt that your man has!” Katy pressed, your ringing phone still held up in her hand. “Stop being so damn nervous–touch the butt!”

“Fuck–alright!” you agreed in exasperation. “I’ll touch his damn ass, now give me my phone!”

Satisfied, she tossed your phone across the cubicles towards you, but you fumbled catching it and it dropped to the floor. The moment you turned, about to bend over and pick it up, the call had already been sent to your voicemail. You groaned, frantically bending down and grabbing your phone. Quickly you opened your contacts and dialed him back, hoping to get ahold of him before bothering to check the messages–but to no avail. 

“Goddammit!” you cursed, ending the call.

Immediately you went into your voicemail, pulling up the message Matt had left you a little over an hour ago. You’d missed his call since you hadn’t been at your desk, too busy checking a lead yourself and having accidentally left your phone behind.

“You know I’m not telling you my costume,” Matt’s deep voice said in your ear, a light chuckle following. “Nice try though. I appreciate the effort. You’ll just have to wait until the party, like I already told you before. And Foggy is keeping his mouth shut on it, so don’t even try to get him to talk.” He sighed, his tone shifting to something softer and less amused. “I miss you. Two days without you is too long. Why don’t I grab dinner for tonight? Your place or mine, you pick. Or we could go out? We never did get around to that new restaurant after we both got sick. Whatever you want, sweetie. I’ll see you tonight, hopefully.”

You chewed your lip, wishing you could have answered any of his calls today. Two days was too long without him, he was right, and you were missing him, too. And missing his calls all day wasn’t helping. Frustrated, you played the message he just left next.

“We are not having any luck today with phone calls, are we? I just finished a quick lunch, was hoping to catch you before court is back in session but I guess I missed you again. Call me back, sweetie. Let me know about tonight. I love you.”

Exhaling roughly, you quickly dialed Matt back. The phone went straight to his voicemail as you expected. You knew he was back in court and his phone would be off until he was out again. That’s how it always was on days he had court.

“Fuck, I’m sorry I missed your calls again, Matt. That last one was Katy’s fault,” you told him in a rush. “She stole my phone. Wouldn’t give it back until I promised to take a bite of your ass and I–” you stopped short, eyes widening as Katy barked out a laugh beside you. “Shit,” you breathed out, eyes closing. “I did not mean to tell you that.”

Katy cupped a hand around her mouth, calling towards your phone, “She needs to gnaw on it like a dog with a bone! Fucking let her at it, man!”

“Katy!” you scolded, lowering the phone from your face for a moment. “Not cool!” She let out another laugh as you returned to your message. “ Anyway , I’m open to whatever you want to do tonight. Go out or stay in, whatever you’re feeling after work because I know how exhausting your day can get. And also, I’m pretty sure if I bribe Foggy with those bagels he likes, I can get him to tell me what your costume is.” You laughed lightly at the prospect–Foggy was a bagel whore. Everyone knew it. “So I uhm, I’ll talk to you later, baby–”

“Awww, he’s baby now?” Katy called out.

You shot her a pointed look. “He doesn’t need your commentary!” you harshly whispered to her. “Anyway, I love you,” you said back into your phone. “Hopefully I don’t miss the next call.”

You hung up and glared at Katy and her yogurt cup.

Tuesday Early Evening

Sliding the wet strands of hair from off of your face, you pushed open the door to your apartment building and stepped inside. Of course it had to start raining when you were half a block away and you had gotten caught in the middle of it. 

Sighing, you slipped into the elevator next to two other people, pushing the button for the fifth floor and then crossing your arms over your chest. You were starting to get cold in your damp clothes despite the heat in the building. A moment later you felt something vibrate in your pocket and your brows furrowed. Your hand darted down, slipping your phone from your dress pants pocket. Immediately your shoulders sagged when you’d realized you’d missed another call from Matt. You forgot you’d left your phone on vibrate when you’d gone into the staff meeting later this afternoon and you’d been too busy afterwards to remember to take it off. 

As you stepped out of the elevator onto your floor, you hurriedly made your way down to your apartment. Unlocking your front door, you stepped inside and pulled up your voicemail, quickly holding your phone to your ear as you kicked your shoes off.

“Well if you want a bite of my ass for dinner, I suppose we’ll just have to stay in tonight,” Matt’s amused voice said into your ear. You winced, having forgotten about the last voicemail you’d left him. “So staying in it is. I’ll grab us dinner from that sushi place and head to your place. Just got out of court for the day so I should be there soon.” You could tell he was walking, the sound of foot traffic and car traffic a bit louder in his message at this time of day. “And you can’t bribe Fog to tell you for bagels, because I already bribed him with those very same bagels not to tell you. Like I said, you’re waiting until Halloween to find out.” A beat later when he spoke again, his voice had dropped to a sultry whisper, one that even recorded was raising the little hairs along your forearms. “And I like it when you call me baby. Especially when it’s accompanied by those little breathy moans you make.”

The voicemail ended, your jaw partially hanging open at the way he’d ended it. Remembering that your clothes were wet, you set your phone down on the coffee table and made your way into your room, trying to ignore the way Matt’s voice at the end of that message had somehow worked you up a little. 

You peeled out of your wet work clothes, changing into leggings and a sweater since Matt was coming over–it was casual and comfortable but a little more dressed up than sweatpants and a sweatshirt would have been. As you were brushing through your damp hair, you heard a knock at your door. Setting the brush back down on your dresser, you quickly left your bedroom and headed to your front door.

Pulling it open, you spotted Matt holding a bag of takeout and it was obvious he had clearly gotten soaked from the rain, too. He had a big grin on his face though, apparently unphased by the drenched dress shirt and dress pants he was wearing.

“Hey, Matty, come in,” you told him, stepping aside.

“If I couldn’t already hear you in here,” he said, entering your apartment as you closed the door behind him and took the bag of food, “I’d have been afraid you wouldn’t be home with how we kept missing each other’s calls all day.”

“Yeah,” you said with a light laugh. “That was quite frustrating. Looks like you got caught in that downpour, too. You want me to grab you some dry clothes?”

“Yes, that’d be great, sweetheart,” he told you, leaning his cane against the wall by your front door as he always did.

“So how’d court go?” you asked, setting the food on your coffee table before heading back into your bedroom.

“It was long and tedious,” Matt called back to you from the living room. “The case is going into tomorrow. One of the witness testimonies dragged on for longer than expected. But it seems to be going well. For us, at least.”

You closed your dresser drawer, holding onto a pair of his sweatpants and one of his shirts. “That’s good,” you replied, turning and heading back towards your hallway. “Hopefully that means you guys will–”

You stopped abruptly at the sight of Matt in his tight boxers, his damp clothes folded and set off to the side of the room on your floor. He shot you a cheeky grin, clearly hearing your heart pick up at the sight of him. 

“Uhm, hopefully, uh, hopefully you guys will win,” you stammered out, crossing the room towards him. You cleared your throat, holding out his clothes. “I uh–here’s some dry clothes.”

The cheeky grin was still on his face as he accepted them from you, but he didn’t immediately start dressing. Instead, his head tilted a little to the side as he shifted the clothes to his left hand, holding out his right.

“Give me your hand,” he ordered.

You blinked hard a few times in response. “Uh, what?” you asked him.

“Give me your hand,” he repeated.

Uncertainty rolling through you, you tentatively placed your hand in his. The saucy little smile on his mouth only grew before he pulled your hand behind him and placed it resolutely on his right ass cheek. Your eyes widened, heart hammering wildly in your chest.

“What are you doing?” you asked him nervously.

He shrugged, taking his hand off of yours. You were too stunned to remove your hand from his ass, though.

“Figured you’ve been staring at it long enough,” he said lightly. “Thought I’d encourage you to just grab it finally.”

“I–I–” you stammered out, brain suddenly short-circuiting. 

You were grabbing his ass– finally . There was no way words were coming out of your mouth for the next thirty seconds while your brain remembered how to function. 

Matt chuckled, tossing his dry clothes onto your coffee table. “Here,” he said, grabbing your other hand and placing it onto his other ass cheek. 

Your face went red. He chuckled again before his hands snaked their way over your hips and onto your ass. Gripping a handful of your ass in each hand, he pulled you into him and you stumbled forward.

“Now I’m going to feel up your ass before I get dressed and we sit down and eat that sushi,” Matt informed you. “So you can either stand there overthinking, or you can take the opportunity to grab my ass like I know you want to.”

Biting your lip, noticing how Matt was unphased about boldly kneading your ass in his hands, your hands gave him a little squeeze–and your jaw dropped. How was it so fucking solid ? Your hands slid downwards a bit, cupping his ass, but hell, it was so large and round you couldn’t even fit an entire cheek in your whole hand. 

Matt huffed out a laugh beside your ear. “Does it live up to your expectations?” he asked.

Shyly you squeezed his ass in your hands another time, unsure when would be the next time you’d have the nerve to grab it again. And you sure as shit wanted to commit the feel of it to memory. 

“You don’t even need the suit,” you joked lightly. “I’m pretty sure a bullet would bounce off of your ass.”

A loud peel of laughter flew out of him as his hands slid off of you. Reluctantly you removed your hands from him as well.

“I don’t think I’d want to find out, sweetheart,” he told you, a large smile on his face. “Let’s have dinner though. I want to hear how your past couple of days were.”

Wednesday Morning

You slid your desk chair back from your computer, your head darting around the side of your cubicle. Katy glanced away from her monitor towards you, a spoonful of yogurt going into her mouth. She raised a curious brow as she slid the spoon back out.

“I touched it,” you whispered.

Her eyes grew wide and she quickly swallowed down the yogurt, sliding her chair towards you. “Oh my God , finally! How was it?” she asked quickly.

“It was the roundest, firmest, perkiest ass I’ve ever touched,” you whispered.

Her eyes closed as she smiled. “Fuck, I know you haven’t touched a lot of asses so that shouldn’t mean much, but goddamn I know what you’re saying,” she whispered.

“It was well worth the wait to touch,” you told her.

Her eyes opened and her brows rose up high. “Like so perky you could bounce a roll of quarters off of it?” She pointed a firm finger at your chest as she added, “Which, by the way, you should totally do.”

You grinned, nodding. “Yes. You could bounce a roll of quarters off of it.”

She playfully swatted at your shoulder as she leaned in further. “Then girl go bounce yourself off that man’s ass like it’s a fucking trampoline.”

“ Katy ,” you scolded, catching sight of Bianca shooting you both a strange glance as she walked past.

Katy laughed, leaning back in her chair and scooting back to her desk. “What?” she asked, picking her yogurt cup back up. “It’s not like you don’t want to, is it?”

You rolled your eyes at her bluntness, sliding your chair back towards your own desk. But you’d be lying if you’d said you weren’t thinking about Matt Murdock’s ass throughout the rest of your day.

[lixenn]

OCtober 2024 day 23: community

@myrmyrtheorca one science girl coming right up! Anemone is also working hard, pipetting lots for qPCR 🫡 what a legend!

A yapping essay under the cut, I will talk science so you have been warned.

Now before I ramble about science I'm just gonna talk about the art for a bit. I did use a reference for this because I'm not insane and drawing the lineart with it was ... alright I would say. I actually looked through my own pictures and my uni website first in case I could find something as a ref but no dice so I needed to look it up anyways. I think the most difficult lineart to draw was the fucking pipettes... I need everyone to know that all the lab equipment (except maybe the blue regant holder) is a simplification of what it actually looks like because by god I could not replicate the real thing with my current skill set. I know most people will not give a fuck but I do so it needed to be said.

Otherwise colouring went okay and rendering wasn't extremely tedious. I noticed that I actually really like rendering blond hair, years ago I found this hack where you use red for the shadows and turn the opacity down and it works so well every time, I'm a bit obsessed tbh. I need to give more of my OCs blond hair lmao.

Okay enough about art let's talk science! Honestly this is really just me explaining science stuff, so feel free to skip because this can get long.

As I mentioned above I drew Anemone doing qPCR and I chose qPCR because her focus is genetic research. So basically she looks into the human genome (entire set of human genes) to see how it correlates to the Pallid Flame.

qPCR stands for quantitative polymerase chain reaction or real time polymerase chain reaction (RTpcr) and it's a valuable tool for analysing stuff down to genetic aka DNA level. You might have learnt about PCR in school but if not or if you've forgotten: PCR is the amplification of a specific gene aka you take one specific part of someone's DNA and replicate it a bunch of times. This is useful if you want to proof if a specific gene is present in the DNA you are analysing. Now qPCR also does the DNA amplification but as it already implies with the name it also counts how much the gene was amplified. You can use qPCR in many applications for example I used this method in my thesis to test if skin related genes are upregulated (higher gene expression aka genes are more activated? <- me trying to simplify genetics I'm not sure if this is the correct term of phrase) or down regulated (lower gene expression) when I put mast cells in my skin models. It gives you insight how certain factors affect cells on DNA level and since it will give you number at the end you can do statistics which is what everyone will really care about. I hope this explanation was at least somehow understandable if anyone has any questions I can talk more about this no prob 🫡

In fact I will talk more about it just... less why you do qPCR but more on how you do it. Because the thing is with this method... You need to pipette, you need to pipette A LOT. And honestly I'm really not a fan because you need to be so exact with this pipetting since each mistake you make stacks up and shows in your data at the end. It's very frustrating especially because there are a lot of steps where you can make mistakes and you need to be fully concentrated the entire time. I... I would say I'm good at my job but I really don't like this part of it because it grates on my nerves. But I think Anemone would be good at it, it's something repetitive that requires a steady hand and patience. Normally post Docs and even some PhD students let assisstants handle this job but I'd like to imagine that Anemone likes doing small things occasionally. Maybe not the entire process (there's a lot of prep work required for qPCR) but the last few steps she can take over, just for a change of pace.

[superlocrians]

18th october , 2024　 ୨ৎ　9:43 pm

i didn’t study, but that wasn’t on my to-do. today i did my one and only quest, clean my room. i’m glad i did. it took me a ridiculous amount of time considering i only needed to put my clothes in the hampers (don’t judge, i was practicing my accepting a grammy speech.) quests tomorrow include:

• study english 3 for at least one hour

• catch up in reading plan

• complete morning routine and all side quests

• start little women (side quest)

im also filming a “one second of my day” video, where there’s one second clips of each different thing i do in a day. i might post that or i might not. very tired, goodnight now!

- porda

oh my goodness there’s this boy at my job and he’s so pretty but he doesn’t work until next sunday and i don’t work sundays anymore.

tw // calorie counting, mentions of eating disorders, venting

i just looked at the caloric content of the food in the chipotle app and holy @#$%&! no wonder i’ve gained 7 pounds since i’ve worked here. i’ll just pay closer attention to what im eating and it’ll go away in no time.

i will try to pacify my hunger with copious amounts of water. i just wanna lose a bit before the holidays really kick in. but when they do i’ll just only eat poorly at events because i have a weak immune system anyway and get sick quickly when i eat lots of junk. it is upsetting im only 10lbs away from overweight. i dont look big. sigh, just frustrated with myself and my impulsive and practically constant binge eating.

i realized in at my highest weight ever (bmi 23) which is certainly a reality check since i’ve always been in the 16s-19s. i tried to eat healthier today which was sort of a fail, lol? i did follow paleo today. tomorrow at work ill just get a salad with double chicken, salsa, sour cream, and cheese and only drink water. that’ll just be 10.3 carbs and 590 calories. that’ll keep me satiated until the end of my shift.

i don’t want to go back to my old ways of punishing myself with no food and barely eating anything and wanting to look so so thin. i don’t want that anymore. but i worry that now when i try to cut some calories i may fall back into my old disordered ways. sigh. i just pray about this all.

i also feel so lost and confused. i know (i think??) i want to go to college but i feel so insecure. i don’t feel smart. i completely doubt my academic capabilities. i’ve been looking at colleges today. do i want a jazz studies degree, a music education degree, a seminary degree or something completely different???? i don’t know. i feel so lost and confused as i previously stated. i also don’t know if i want to move to my dad’s or stay here. it’s been a topic of conversation—since my siblings are on my dad’s side. i feel so torn in every direction. i wish i could drive but i never want to. i must sleep now. sorry if you read this lol, just my ramblings.