#Anyone want to be the Salamander to my frog?

[namethief]

I got new art supplies and they helped my catch up on amphibiuary! I'm very proud of all of them

[flatoutin-eaurouge]

Boy scout

Pairing: Mika Häkkinen x Michael Schumacher

@schumi-honey and I were in such a Makkinen mood 🥰. Michael gets hurt as he and Mika run for their lives 😭😭. Mika to the rescue.

Michael watched him as he crouched down to look at a beetle. He sat down on his knees in the mud and put his finger in front of the little creature, hoping that it would climb his hand. Hiking really brought out the nerd in Mika. Michael thought it was adorable.

His Finnish rival had always had an interest in unconventional animals. Sure, he loved cats and dogs, but he also loved turtles, frogs, stick-insects and bugs. It was a good thing Keke kept an eye on him every once in awhile, because otherwise Mika's apartment would probably be a zoo.

"Look Michael, It's a stag-beetle!"

Mika walked up too him with the big bug in his hands and almost pressed it in Michael's face, making the German recoil.

"Yeah nice, Mika. I could see it pretty clearly when it was still on the ground."

The Finn grinned. He put the bug back on the ground, then smelled his fingers. "Yeah." He pulled a face. "The downside of holding one... it excretes a smell when it feels threathened. Now my hand smells like..." He thought for a moment. "... like particularly strong ivy."

"That's very... specific. Why do you know so well what ivy smells like?"

"Have you never smelled it?"

"What do you mean? Stick my head in plants to find out what they smell like?"

"I was a boy scout when I was a kid."

Michael gaped at him. Of course he was a boy scout during his youth. That man could sell cookies to anyone. "You still are, so it seems."

Michael loved the nerd-talk. With Mika he never really talked about the far future... about life after Formula One... about whether they wanted to have kids at some point... about what kind of insurances they should take out... It was always about the matter at hand. And if it meant they were talking about bugs and plants, then so be it.

Mika wiped his hands on his pants and smirked at Michael. The German was very dear to him. He had no idea how it turned out that way, because a few years ago, during their F3 days, he was very supicious of him. Could he call him a friend right now? Was it possible to be friends with a rival? Friends were people from school, from your childhood. People you played with at the playground... he hoped he could call Michael a true friend...

"You know... I bet you were a boy scout too."

Michael quirked an eyebrow at the Finn. "Nonsense! What makes you think that?"

Mika pointed at his clothes and smirked. "Your very professional gear. You're an outdoor type. Tell me, were you a boy scout in the past or are you affirming the German stereotype?"

Michael stuck his tongue out at his rival and poked his ribs. "Brat!"

Mika jumped away from him, rubbing over his ribs. "Hey! Don't do that. They're sensitive!"

"Oh, are they?" A mischievous grin crept up on Michael's face. He took a leap towards the Finn and grabbed him by the waist with one hand. His other hand poked his rival's ribs repeatedly, making Mika squirm and blush.

"Michael! Don't," he yelped.

Michael felt a swarm of butterflies invade his stomach. The sudden feeling made him blush so deeply that he was afraid his rival would notice. He immediately let go off Mika, unsure of what to "make" of this feeling. He created a distance between them, staring at the Finn as his heart bounced in his chest.

Mika swiped his golden locks from his eyes. His face was equally as red as Michael's. He stared at the mossy ground, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. Michael's touch was burning on both sides of his ribcage. He tried to ignore his feelings, his eyes scanning the ground for little creatures that could distract him. Frogs, bugs, salamanders... everything would do...

Michael noticed how Mika had become silent. A sudden gust of wind blew his blonde hair in all kinds of directions. The Finn's hand shot out in instinct to smoothen the luscious locks back in position and to hold the fluff down with a disgruntled frown on his face. "Why is it so windy all of a sudden?"

Michael looked up at the sky where dark clouds had gathered above their heads. The pine trees surrounding them whistled in the wind. Branches creaked. Silent rain drops fell down on them.

Mika followed Michael's line of sight and wrapped his arms around his body. "That's not good. How far up are we?"

Michael took a glance at his GPS. He knew how quickly the weather could change in the mountains. He knew how quickly the temperatures could drop up here. "Not sure. I think we've been walking for three hours... that's really not good."

"Didn't you check the weather forecast?" Mika asked him, pulling his collar up.

Michael scowled at him. Why did his rival always expect everything was arranged and scheduled around him. Why was he so immature?

"Mika, why didn't you check the weather forecast yourself?! I'm the one wearing responsible gear. I'm the one operating the GPS... what did you do all day? Look for wurms?"

The Finn stared at him in confusion. He seemed a little gobsmacked by the sudden reprimand.

Seriously, had no one ever told him the truth about his naiveity? Were people afraid that the truth would make him cry? Of course they did. Mika had always been quick to tears. "I mean... What kind of boy scout are you?"

There it was... the pout... the quivering lips. Mika quickly grabbed his backpack and conjured up a coat. "I brought a coat. I have responsible gear too."

Michael shook his head. "Wow, is that the least you could think of?"

Mika stared at the ground. His shoulders slumped in embarassment as he crumpled his thin softshell coat in his fist. "I'm sorry, Michael. I... I..."

He was interupted by a loud thunderclap, and quite soon after, by a bolt of lightning that painfully slowly branched out in the dark sky. They both flinched and looked up with big terrified eyes.

"Jumalauta!"

"Mika, come here." Michael grabbed his rival by the arm. "Ssshh, It's okay. No need to apologize. I just think you have to be aware of these kind of things... for your own good. What would happen if you were here on your own?"

Mika shrugged. "The same. It's not like you checked the weather forecast either. So either way, I would end up lost in the mountains with a thunderstorm coming my way."

Now it was Michael's turn to be gobsmacked by the Finn's comment. Mika was... right. He had been irresponsible as well.

As nature's rumble echoed through the sky, they were both quite oblivious to the fact that they were holding each other as they counted the distance from the thunderstorm to their location.

"33... 34... 35... 36... shit it's getting closer."

Mika opened his backpack, rummaged through it and grabbed his carabiners. He then – not too gently – pushed Michael to get him to turn around and unzipped his backpack.

The Finn grabbed Michael's metal drinking bottle and proceeded to throw his carabiners and Michael's drinking bottle in the chasm near them.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Michael exclaimed, grabbing the Finn by his sweater and shaking him.

Mika yanked his sleeve from Michael's grip. "Metal objects conduct lightning as they have low resistance."

"So what?"

"It hightens the chance you get electrocuted." Mika replied as he threw Michael a contemptous look. "Yup, that's the boy scout speaking. You might need him today."

Michael had never thought Mika was able to throw shade at him. Most of the time he was very kind and innocent. But witnessing the friendly boy snap at him was a whole new experience.

"Mika, can we please put this little dispute of ours to rest and get ourselves to safety?"

Mika shrugged. He looked into Michael's emerald eyes and smiled. "Sure. It's not a good moment now, eh?"

They made quick work of putting on their coats and backpacks, before they started the quick hike down.

Above their heads the thunderstorm was increasing in intensity. 29... 30... 31... 32... the lightning was nearing 'striking-distance'.

Their feet padded quickly down the mossy and slippery path as the pine trees were creaking and the spruces were bending like twigs in the heavy wind. Nature was coming for them.

"Mika, I'm scared!" Michael had hidden his fears for way too long. He was truly scared of getting lost, of getting hypothermia and dying in the mountains with his favourite rival.

"Michael, It's okay! I'm scared too! But the chance we get electroduced is very small."

Michael felt how Mika put an arm around his shoulders as they ran down the path, staring at the rocks beneath their feet with maximum concentration. The gesture warmed his heart. He was glad he was with Mika. He couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather want to run for his life with.

When the rain started to become heavier it was only a matter of minutes before one of them would slip and injure themselves.

Counting down in his head, Michael had to divide his concentration on both the nearing thunderstorm and his footwork. It went well for five minutes until Michael tripped and fell on the rocky surface below him.

An agonizing scream emitted from his throat as he fell on his knee, probably tearing off a ligament.

"Micheal!" Mika shouted as he ran towards the floored German. "Michael, are you okay?" The Finn felt his heart bang against his sternum. "Michael?"

He crouched down to flip Michael over and saw him cry. Eyes squeezed shut in pain and tears rolling down his cheeks. Mika's eyes traveled down to Michael's knee where he saw his torn jeans and the blood trinkling from a nasty wound.

"Shit, Michael. Don't cry. I'm going to help you." Mika stood up and looked around with his hands in his hair. "Vittu!"

As if on cue, it started to rain harder and the thunderclaps started to become louder.

"Mika!" Michael was sobbing loudly and shaking like a wet kitten. "It hurts so badly and I'm so scared! I can't walk!"

"Ssshh, I will find us shelter." He crouched down and placed his hands in Michael's armpits, hoisting him up.

"Mika, ouch! That hurts!"

"I know and I'm sorry. Lean on me."

Michael could barely hear the Finn over the sound of the raging storm. He was no help to Mika, who awkwardly tried to  mandhande him to rest against his side.

"I wonder if I can carry you. I've never carried a grown man."

The Finn's arms enveloped the German in a warm embrace as he tried to lift Michael up. His face turned red as he put all his strength into lifting the German. He only just managed to keep Michael against his chest and staggered on his feet under the weight of his rival. "Wow, you're heavy!"

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No, of course not. I'm calling you heavy, as in grown-man-heavy."

Mika held Michael against his chest as if he was the most precious thing in the world, softly tracing his thumb over Michael's arm. He very carefully took his steps down the path in order not to jostle the German too much. "You okay, Michael?"

Michael stared at the blonde boy as if he was an actual guardian angel helping him,  protecting him. The tenderness, the sweetness... it made him cry even more. He nodded despite his tears. "More so than a few seconds ago."

Mika smiled his lopsided smile and almost jumped in excitement when he noticed something that resembled the outline of a cave. Well, it looked more like a deeply eroded ridge. It was good news, since he felt Michael slowly slipping from his grip.

He hurried to the ridge as carefully and as safely as he could holding 140 pounds of German in his arms. "Michael, we will be safe and warm and I'm going to make us a campfire."

Arriving at the small cave, Mika felt Michael slipping down his arms more and more. To provide the German with a soft landing, he dropped to his own knees to take the hit for him. He gently pushed Michael against the stone wall and sat down next to him to catch his breath.

Michael made himself smaller and curled himself up into a tighter ball, pressing his back firmly against Mika.

"How is the pain Michael?" Mika carded a hand through Michael's light brown curls, noticing the German's watery emerald eyes.

"Mika, it hurts so badly! I think I've torn a ligament." Tears streamed down his cheeks uncontrolably. "What if nobody finds us?"

"Ssshh, Michael." Mika cradled his face in his hands and gently wiped the rain and tears off his face with the sleeve of his sweater. "Ron will do everything to get me back." He grinned. "He starts panicking right away when I don't answer his calls. You know... he thinks I'm immature too."

Michael lifted his hand and stroked Mika's cheek with the back of his hand. "Not immature, just a little naive. Which is a good value... it makes you enjoy life more... I think."

Mika grabbed Michael's hand from where it was resting against his cheek and folded it between his own warmer hands. "Gosh, you're cold. I do need to make a campfire."

He got up and walked away, back into the rain and storm.

"Mika, twigs and branches won't work! It's too wet!" Michael yelled after him. He just wanted Mika to get back so he could cuddle up against him. "Come back. It's to no avail."

But Mika didn't come back. He wandered towards the pine trees with determination in his eyes. Michael shook his head. "Seriously, Mika?"

After five minutes Mika came back. He stared at Michael knowingly as if he had something up his sleeve. "I heard you, you know. I'm not dumb." He opened his coat and a stack of dry bark fell from it. "It's dry and the resin inside is perfect for fire."

Michael was truly impressed, but he was in too much pain to show it. He watched as Mika retrived a matchbox from his backpack. Within a few seconds they had a fire.

"I know what you're thinking..." Mika grinned smugly "...all this, but you didn't check the weather forecast?" His grin quickly turned into a grimace when he noticed Michael's pained frown. His eyes were red and puffy, his breaths sounded hoarse and shallow.

Poor thing. He had never really seen Michael so out of it. The German was usually the one comforting him.

"Come here." He scooted closer to his rival and pulled him against his side. Together they listened to the thunderclaps and the raindrops cascading down the rocks. Mika placed his hand on Michael's sweat-matted brow. "Should I take a look at your knee?"

Michael huddled even closer, leaning into the touch and pressing his face in the crook of Mika's neck. He nodded. "Please. It hurts so much." His words were muffled against the Finn's skin.

"Okay." Mika stood up and carefully tore the damaged jeans further open to look at the bloodied knee. His fingers reached down to gently palpate the wound.

"Ouch, Mika! Be gentle!" Michael whined.

"I am! I am! ...I try!" Mika gently patted Michael's thigh in an attempt to sooth him. "I don't know what to do! It doesn't really need to get sutured." The Finn's face showed signs of his own little panic attack. When Mika was in panic he often started rambling - thinking out loud. "Maybe I need to bandage it? Or maybe I need to stabilize your leg?"

He took off his coat and made a little nest for Michael's knee, carefully guiding Michael's leg to rest on top of the soft material. He then took a handkerchief from his backpack and started dabbing the wound.

"No, Mika!" Michael whimpered.

"Ssshh, it's okay. It's okay... just cleaning it a little." He reached out his hand to wipe the tears off Michael's cheeks and threw him a rueful smile. "It's okay. I made a fire and I brought chocolate chip cookies with me. We will wait for Ron. He has developed a seventh sense for when I get into trouble."

Michael found it in himself to chuckle at that. The complete trust Mika had in his team boss. He watched as the Finn grabbed the bag of cookies and opened it. He sobbed in relief as tears managed to escape and stream their way down his face. He was getting hungry and the smell of chocolate was a very welcome suprise.

Mika sat down closer to him and guided Michael's head to rest on his shoulder. Together they watched the forces of nature rage on.

"Mika, I'm sorry for calling you immature. I had no idea you had so much stuff in that backpack!"

Mika chuckled, his smile lighting up his handsome face. "All good. I get that a lot. You need to focus on getting your leg better before the start of next season."

[calico-heart]

Tagged by @eriyu ! Thank you :D Hope its ok I'm answering over here instead of @lookbluesoup :3

I'll tag (no pressure!) @seasaltandcopper @sayonaramidnight @orime-stories @traveleorzea @ronqueesha

@slothssassin @bogglebabbles @memento-moogle @bardic-inspo @therisingphoenixden

@espurrs-wild @phoenike aaaand anyone else who wants to do it! :D

[ghouly-boiiiii]

A Light in the Dark 🕯️

Chapter 1: Throwing Stones

Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul

Summary: Takes place directly after the end of Season 1. As they begin their journey, Lucy is understandably very angry and fearful towards the Ghoul. She hates him, and is only joining him because she wants answers. He, however, is harboring secret feelings for Lucy ever since she saved his life. Having not been with anyone since Barb, and believing she would never feel the same, the bounty hunter has to deal with these feelings on his own. Little does he know, Lucy finds herself having inexplicable feelings for him as well, and struggling to make sense of them.

Tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Casual Sex Lucy and No Wait Let Me Court You Cooper, Cooper is touch-starved and rusty in bed, He's also self-conscious about his body, Ghoul channels old romantic Cooper, Lucy is confused by strange surface dweller mating customs, She helps him discover his old self, He helps her discover her true self, Did I mention there would be angst

Rating: Mature - Word Count: 1,742

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers. No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man and lots of angst.

In this chapter...

To her horror, the rock shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.

She threw her hands up in front of her. “I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”

“Don’t worry…” To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’… But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock, then looked up at her and threw it in her direction.

She watched as fell to the ground at her feet.

“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking.

Authors Note: This fic starts out somewhat similar to my other fic, My Name Is Cooper, because it starts directly after the end of the season. They have similar conversations at first, but the tone is much different and the story goes in a completely different direction. This one is more serious (still with some humor though, of course), and is probably going to be longer. I really wanted to do a more realistic, slow burn romance. I know there's a ton out there already, but I wanted to do my own version because idk, reasons I guess lol. But I really wanted to dive deep into how these two navigate their relationship and the very complicated feelings they might have for each other. This is what you might call another free-writing project, so I don't know *exactly* where it's gonna go, but I will do my best to make sure it has a decent ending when the time comes! Inspired by the cool peeps on Discord and touch-starved Cooper headcanons lol.

Lucy felt the cool night air fill her lungs as she took a deep breath and tried to still her mind. It was silent. Nothing but the soft crunch of leaves and dirt under their feet, and perhaps the occasional frog or cricket.

The vault dweller looked out at the distance before them. A fog rose up from the earth, illuminated by the faint glow of a thousand lights that mirrored the stars above. She was in awe, even thinking that it was beautiful. But it was only a distraction from all the pain and confusion she felt.

Her whole world had turned upside down. Nothing was as she believed it was. Nothing was as it seemed. Everything she thought she knew had crumbled into dust within a matter of minutes. She was numb. Overwhelmed. Everything felt surreal. And now she found herself once again alone… with him. 

As Lucy stared ahead at his silhouette in the darkness, she felt nothing but disdain. The young vault dweller was taught to forgive and forget. But she was fairly certain the people who taught her that were never fed to a giant salamander or tied up by their neck and dragged around a desert or sold for organs. How could she possibly forgive, let alone forget, such horrible things that were done to her?

She couldn’t. But she had to stuff down her feelings and let it go… for now. 

“So… where are we going?” Lucy finally asked. They must have been walking for at least thirty minutes at this point. And he hadn’t looked back even once, only reacting to the dog when she came up to him, and even then with barely more than a glance. Lucy wasn’t even sure if he knew she was still following him anymore.

The Ghoul didn’t answer right away. He waited a moment, before he took a breath and said, “Can’t say for sure yet… but looks like yo’ daddy might be headed for New Vegas.”

“...That’s a town?” 

“Big town.” 

“Okay…” Lucy took a deep breath. The conversation seemed to be going… okay so far. “So…  what’s in this town? Why do you think he’d want to go there?”

The Ghoul didn’t answer.

The vault dweller swallowed hard. She wanted to push, but she knew she had to be cautious. “How do you know my father? Are you going to tell me?”

The bounty hunter seemed to be ignoring her.

She huffed. He was so rude. So rude and inconsiderate and unaccommodating, it sickened her. Maybe if she started with something simpler… “Okay, so… do you got like a… name or something?”

Again, nothing.

Lucy frowned, her tone getting exasperated. “I’m just… wondering what I should call you… You really not gonna answer that either?”

“I don’t give a good goddamn what you call me.” He snapped, sounding a bit angry.

Lucy fell silent and her throat got tight, a bit of fear rising in her. She truly didn’t know what kind of madness compelled her to follow this man, after everything he did to her. She was hypervigilant about his every movement. Knowing that at any moment, he could turn around and try to do... something to her. 

With her hand on her pistol, she kept her distance. This one, armed with actual bullets. She wasn’t sure if it would do much, but it was something. 

Truly, every fiber of her being told her to get as far away from this… creature as she humanly could, but…

He had answers. And so did whoever they were going to find. She needed those answers. There was no question about it. Sure, she could just turn around and go home. Go back to her life in the Vault with Norm and Chet and Stephanie and everyone else. But she would never be able to live with herself. Those questions would never stop haunting her. She would never stop feeling compelled to seek the truth. Lucy knew this about herself, and her body acted almost automatically as she took one step in front of the other behind those of this two-hundred year old cowboy. 

“Look… you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. Obviously, we’re not friends. But if we’re going to be working together… we need to at least communicate effectively...”

The Ghoul was silent for a moment, then finally responded, “Well, then… I got a question for you , Vaulty.”

“...Okay?”

“What happened to the doctor?”

“...The doctor?”

“Yeah. How’d he end up with no head?” This time, he did turn his head slightly, although not enough to see her. “...Who cut it off?”

"Uhh... Well, uh... I-I did..." Lucy's eyes fell to the ground.

"You did?" The bounty hunter said in surprise.

“Uhh… well…” She swallowed hard, as she remembered the task. She’ll never forget having to cut off someone’s head for the first time… and, well… hopefully, the last. “He asked me to.”

“He asked you to cut off his head?” This time, he did look back at her, peering over his shoulder questioningly with a raised brow.

“Yes… he… he took cyanide and told me… He told me it would be easier… if I just… brought his head…” 

The Ghoul turned to face ahead of him, then just said, “Huh…”

There was silence for a moment, before he asked another question. “What about the Super Duper Mart? What'd you do in'ere?”

Lucy blinked, then narrowed her eyes at him, flustered by the fact that he would ask that, considering he put her in that situation. “...Why do you wanna know?”

“Curious, I guess.” The Ghoul said simply. "It's just kinda funny... what with all that 'Golden Rule' talk, how many people seem ta' end up dead 'round you."

“It was an accident!" The vault dweller quickly retorted. “I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt... I just…" She paused and looked down at the ground somberly, remembering Martha. "They... they were holding all those people captive… I... I couldn’t just leave them there…”

“You mean those ghouls?”

“They’re people. Maybe they have a condition, but they’re still people..." She snapped, then added under her breath. "Unlike you...” 

Dangit. That was not a good thing to say. Lucy bit her tongue, hoping he didn't hear.

She swallowed hard and tried to play it off. “But I did have to kill some of them. So, you know…” She said, trying to sound confident in her ghoul-killing skills. "I'd, uh... watch out... if I were you."

"Heh. Well, good for you, Vaulty." He snickered. “…Anyways, how did you get the–”

“Now! Now, hold on!” Lucy said, holding up a bluish-grey finger. “If you get to ask me things, I get to ask you things.” She lifted her head a bit higher. “A question for a question. That’s only fair.”

The Ghoul peered over his shoulder at her again for a moment as he continued to walk, then turned back. “Alright.”

“Yeah… so…” She looked down at the ground and exhaled, then back up with determination in her eyes. “So I get to ask you—”

“Two questions.”

“Five.” 

“Five?” 

“That’s right. You technically asked me five questions. Actually, six.”

“Well, that don’t sound quite fair to me, Vaulty.” He said with a smirk. “I asked you two questions. The rest were for clarification. They don’t count.” 

She huffed in dismay. It was worth a try, she thought.

He chuckled. “Tell you what. You can ask me however many questions you want. But I get to pick which ones I answer.”

“No! That’s not fair! I answered the questions you asked me, now you’re gonna answer mine.”

“Well, you didn’t have to answer my questions. That was your choice.”

“What!? I–” She huffed, unsure how to counter that.

“Alright… question for a question.” The bounty hunter said, raising his voice, and two fingers.  "You got two. Have at it, sweetheart.”

The vault dweller jumped, then quickly ran up closer, but still stayed a few feet behind him. Out of arms reach. “...Name?”

“Pass.”

“How do you know my dad?”

“Hard pass.”

She huffed. “This isn’t fair.”

“And what is, darlin'?” He scoffed, holding his arm out beside him. “What in God’s Green Earth made you think that anything in the wasteland is ever fucking fair? It’s every man for himself out here, sweetheart. Thought you might’ve figured that out by now.”

Lucy growled, and as she momentarily lost her cool, she kicked a rock in front of her. To her horror, it shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.

He froze, and she took a sharp gasp. Oh, no… now she’d done it.

As she watched The Ghoul slowly turn around to face her, she threw her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry!” She said in a panic. “I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”

The old bounty hunter stood there and just stared at her a moment. “Don’t worry…” His face was in shadow, but she could see the gleam in his eyes. To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’…” 

Lucy rose her head and lowered her arms a little, relaxing somewhat.

“But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock from the ground. He tossed it in his hand once, then stood, looked up at her, and threw it in her direction.

She watched as it weakly flew towards her, then fell to the ground at her feet.

“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking. 

She looked up at The Ghoul and raised an eyebrow before she continued to follow, wondering what the hell that was all about.

“One thang you gotta learn, Vaulty…” He said, raising his voice commandingly. “Caps ain’t the only form of money up here. Everything you have is potential currency. That includes information.” He said. “You see, that Golden Rule a yer’s only works if other people agree with it. Now that might be all peachy down in your vault, but up here, you don’t wanna be givin’ nothin’ away unless you know you gettin’ somethin’ in return. If you don’t do that, you’ll be eaten alive out here.”

“So… You’re giving me survival lessons now?”

“Yeah… I guess I am.” He said as he turned to smile at her, then tipped his hat up with a single finger. “...But those you can have for free.”

To be continued...

[mosscreeper-ao3]

Oh yeah in case anyone wanted my education lore, I have BAs in Anthropology and Individualized Studies (with an undergraduate thesis on how Indigenous Americans around the Great Lakes had their cultures influenced by local ecology. I also have an MS in environmental studies. My master’s thesis was over white oaks and their place as a keystone species in North America’s forest/savannah ecosystems and their economic importance.

Bonus pet lore! I’ve kept or professionally handled spiders, fish, lizards, snakes, turtles, frogs, salamanders, song birds, and parrots. I currently have a rabbit, a crested gecko, a leopard gecko, phantasmal dart frogs, a fish tank of various tetras, a tarantula, a jumping spider, and a pair of Chinese fire-bellied newts. I also have a severe macaw and a mated lesbian pair of green-cheek conures but those three live with my mom at the moment.

But yeah as long as it’s not NSFW or identifying information, y’all are free to ask personal questions.

[radiofreeilium]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite reptile characters? And what do you like about them?

They could be fully a real reptile (snakes, lizards, crocodilians--heck I'll even let you include amphibians like frogs, toads, newts, and salamanders if you want), partially reptile (like naga a partially humans and dragons are partually anything else), humanoid from fantasy or sci-fi (kobolds or silurians, etc.), or something else entirely. All that matters is that they're reptilain or reptoid.

Oooo ok my answer has gotta be Sips from the online video series Fools Gold, an animated retelling of a really cool dnd campaign. Sips is the main character, an animated monkey - now wait, you may think, that's a monkey, not a reptile! And you're right about that. Until you get to his left arm, which is covered in crocodile like scales, his hand clawed and twisted. Sips, is a wild magic sorcerer, whose magic and sentience come from the curse of his right arm, which was transplanted by evil magical means from a deadly wizard. The more his curse grows, the more bloodthirsty he becomes, and the more likely his spells are to go wild. As well, anyone he touches with his cursed arm, so long as they aren't already cursed, have a chance to become inflicted with a random curse. Some of my favorite moments of his are when he falls entirely under the curses grasp and proceeds to almost solo wipe out the entire rest of his team, and when he wound up accidentally adopting a young werewolf girl because she was already cursed and so could hold his hand without worry :)

[newtsfrogstoads]

wait are we allowed to send reptile related asks even though you're primarily all about amphibians?

if so, I just want to show you the picture of my son that makes me cry because i love him so much

hell yeah I will never mind when someone asks me a question or sends me a pic about something non-amphibian!

I appreciate anyone who listens to me ramble about frogs, salamanders, or caecilians; I will fully give my attention to whatever obsession or self-interest anyone wants to share

AND WHAT A GORGEOUS GECKO!! Leopard geckos are rad

Be proud of your son because he is majestic

[paragonrobits]

post-angry post bit where I want to do something positive to counteract the bad feelings from having posted about something that makes me angry (and by definition, having that thing occupy all available mental space and driving out anythign that actually makes me feel happy, at least for a while) and what generally makes me pleased most is talking about my OC team but i haven’t discussed them much at all here so i dont know where to start but imagine this:

There is a guy. You might call him a man, if you like. He certainly looks human; that’s the shape he wears, for now. He is a large man, almost too big to be believed; his body is built (or perhaps shaped) to massive degrees, of heavy musculature and complex tattoos. He looks dangerous, every inch a barbarian warlord from literature. Yet, when he speaks, it is with a very careful diction, every word chosen as precisely as a fired arrow. He uses no contractions, and speaks with formality.

You might imagine a man such as this attending the theater and applauding the dances of a land he visits, and you might also imagine him standing atop a pile of broken tyrants and enslavers, broken under his blades and fists and teeth. Upon his back he wears the skulls of slain foes, each one a memory and testament to a hard won victory; with each one taken, the world is a better place, and he revels in the glory and face won in battle, in the thrill of thundering action and breaking bone.

He is not one, or the other. He is both a cultured gentleman of all the arts, and a ferocious warrior that fights like a wild beast, embracing both savagery and refinement.

And just the same, look at him closely; those are not the eyes of a normal human. They glint strangely in the dark, reflecting light in the same way of a bird... or perhaps something older than birds. Something that was there a long time ago, when the first creatures walked upon land. Something blessed with the power of changing shape, of passion-fueled power.

When the situation is right, he changes shape. Sometimes it is into a beast, something of great importance to him. He becomes a huge and mighty reptilian creature akin to an alligator snapping turtle, or perhaps an actual alligator. Other times he is a hyena, sly and clever and waiting for a chance to sink in those crushing jaws for kin and kith. And still at other times, he is an ordinary housecat, a strong tom too wily to be caught and too tough to be beaten.

These are not shapes he assumes as something apart from him. They ARE him, as genuine and true as the human shape. But then there is the secret; his human form is not a true form. They all a true form, a reflection of facets of being. What is the true form of this man? Does it matter?

(Once there was a creature, long in ancient times.)

And sometimes, he becomes something far bigger and deadlier; feathered beasts larger than a man, with terrible sickle claws and crushing jaws. And something far larger, a beast the size of a house, its teeth as big as bananas; and perhaps underwater as well, a long whale-sized beast like a vast lizard grown to live upon the waves, jaws that are certain death to ships.

(A kin to amphibians, to the disant ancestors of salamanders and frogs. By a twist of fate, he was sealed away in stasis to wait out the eons, for a new time to arise. So he came to the present day, uniquely alone. His culture and people gone for so long that there are no longer anyone that remember them, nor that they ever existed. He is not something that can ever really belong anywhere.

(A monster.

(But to be a monster is not to be something bad.

And a long time ago, he dreamed of being a hero.)

His eyes glow gold.

And around him, his power ignites into a golden radiance rising into the air and around him for a mile, and his shadow is a thousand crawling things with wings and claws and jaws; he is all of them, and they are all him.

He is what he is; a hero, a frightening and terror-inspiring one, but a hero all the same.

[enchanted-fictions]

WIP Title Tag

Thanks @tabswrites for tagging me in this!

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPS. the tag!

(This is all for my original WIPs and not my fanfics 😅)

Oath of the Stars

Salamander Ambrosia (Frog Deodorant Story)

Therapy Hitman (very rough)

I tag @angelicminds @balletofblades @pga-books @obviousknife @lola-theshowgrl (and anyone else who wants to do this)

[mxamalgam]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite reptile characters? And what do you like about them?

They could be fully a real reptile (snakes, lizards, crocodilians--heck I'll even let you include amphibians like frogs, toads, newts, and salamanders if you want), partially reptile (like naga a partially humans and dragons are partually anything else), humanoid from fantasy or sci-fi (kobolds or silurians, etc.), or something else entirely. All that matters is that they're reptilain or reptoid.

My fictional pet snake that I made up just now. He is 40m long and a good boy. He won't eat anyone if they don't give him the opportunity.

[tswgadget]

How it started:

How it's going:

I've loved this story since it started and just can't get enough of it!

[havi-fart]

ummmm here’s my take on betazoids if anyone wants it lol. I think they’re pretty cute idk. I always thought the way they looked in the tng ep genesis (where they de evolved) was so cool… so they can be a little froggy. As a treat

+ oh and… comparing notes with trills…just for fun. like… frog vs salamander, perhaps

(id in alt text)

[shadow-mime]

Wes takes the books gently and looks down at the map. This definitely was not close to his camp. He points to whatever may imply a birch forest. He sets it in his lap and signs 'king pig?'. If that was where the pig king lived then that was his ticket home.

Wes had ventured out too late in the day and wound up lost at night. His torch was just about to burn out when he wandered across a stranger's camp. Was anyone here? (~Shadow-Mime)

Normally this camp would be surrounded by a bunch of trees, encircling it and keeping it hard to spot. But, Wes happened to find it with mostly stumps or itty-bitty-just-planted saplings. They could see it clearly, which looks kinda small and like it was missing things... Or the owner just didn’t try to make a lot of things.

Just a lit firepit, a crockpot that looked recently used, two chests at a distance, and both a science machine and an alchemy machine for some reason. Oddly, there was no evidence of any farming unless berry bushes count.

It seemed like there was no one when Wes first came across it, but that changed when someone did walk towards the dying fire. They were just accidentally hidden by the few fully grown trees. In their hands was a gold axe, which they set down so they could take wood from their pockets to throw in the fire.

It wasn’t a new nor full moon, after all.

[pyroclastic727]

Calamity Box before the Humans: a theory

There’s an ask that this post answers, but the formatting is a nightmare so it links to this post.

Today I present to you a theory that is a little wild, but may find some purchase in Hop Pop’s explanation tomorrow. This is my theory about what happened to the Calamity Box before Anne, Sasha, and Marcy.

First, I take you to a Monday night in March, when I was rewatching the Season 2b trailer and pondering it.

I came to find this photo.

I found it a bit curious that the third temple was adorned with toads. The Third Temple is a timeless testament to toughness and trepidation, a quality that anyone can have. Heck, beings from outside Amphibia can have that trait and activate the Third Temple’s powers. Which begs the question: why, of all things, would the sacred Third Temple be decorated only with toads?

Now look at the other two temples. 

The second temple has a giant frog mural on it--the same frog that shows up on the front of the box, and on the coin at Valeriana’s shop in Bizarre Bazaar. The first temple is adorned with newts (and some frogs? That’s the main hole I can find in my theory).

And then you look at the girls and their adoptive families and see the same story. Witty Marcy ends up in a society that praises intellect. Belligerent Sasha ends up in a society that praises warcraft. And genuine Anne ends up in a society most strongly supportive of the bonds of emotion.

But you knew that, we all know that’s the synopsis of it. Of course you did. But when you keep asking why, the answers don’t add up. Why did Anne land in Wartwood? Because she has heart. Why do the Wartwood people have heart? Why did the Heart Gem bind itself to Anne specifically, and what mechanism made it know that Wartwood is the place of heart?

Let’s back up a bit.

Amphibia is a strange mix of advanced technology and dormant magic. The hills are dotted with mysterious robot factories. Some eyes glow when provoked, other eyes seem like they have an LED in them (see Anne, Grime). There is a literal robot following the Plantars. And there’s a literal magical music box that got sent to another dimension.

It’s clear that something happened.

Maybe this is a bit of a reach. But I look at the clear cultural boundaries of each type of amphibian, the sharp divides between their values, and how their values seem to perfectly align with a gem, and I think there’s no way this is a coincidence.

I think that in the past, Calamity Box powers were shared with the people. But there wasn’t enough to go around, of course there wasn’t. Each gem could only be charged once, only be deployed once. The Box was a teleportation device that enhanced your natural talents, so you could better survive in a different world. One charge for the way there, in the box, and one charge for the way back, in the Amphibians.

Which Amphibians got the charge? That’s the question that led to such great divisions. You see, someone with the type of power that comes from a gem charge, that’s a powerful person. That’s someone capable of calling upon superhuman--or, superamphibian--power to protect people. Every species would want one.

And every species got one. A Newt was given the wit. A Frog was given the heart. A Toad was given the strength. They already had those innate qualities, why not nurture them? 

The temples then became a hazing ritual. Send ten newts to charge the gem and only one would also be charged. The most worthy of each breed would come back as the champion, until they fell and the championship was passed on to the next one.

For years, that is how it was. One of each breed was given a third of the gem power, and they had to work together to properly wield it. Amphibians were united, with a common goal and common purpose. 

But the amphibians were changing. Each species of amphibians became more specialized. If Newts were good for wit, then they would create universities and a strict intellectual culture. If Frogs were good for heart, then they would stay in small isolated communities and become close with one another. If Toads were good for strength, then they would practice the art of warfare and become a militant society.

They were primed to shatter. Amphibians had more in common with their own species than with others. 

Everything changed when three amphibians were the champions chosen to wield the gem power. You’re probably well acquainted with them: one of each breed, a horned toad, a giant salamander, and a pink frog with orange hair.

Unless I’m mistaken, those three were: Barrel (who owned a warhammer), King Andrias (as a youth), and someone related to Hop Pop (a sister, a mother, or his dead daughter if we’re feeling ambitious). Andrias, of course, is still alive; giant salamanders have impressively long lifespans (on average 70 years but up to 200). 

During this time, one person sought ultimate power. Maybe it was one of the three. Maybe it was someone on the outside. Either way, that person became the Night that the prophesied Three Stars Burning Bright must expel. 

That person had ultimate power, the power of the music box, and was encroaching on the three gems. The gem holders had to do something, quick. 

So one of them gathered up all three remaining charges in the box and teleported to Earth. It destroyed the Night, saving Amphibia.

There was just one caveat. The person who activated the destruction never came back. (Well, either that or just The Night was sent to Earth...)

From there, relative peace came to Amphibia. Each amphibian species lived separate from each other, and prejudice soon followed. Newts condemned the dirty fieldwork of the frogs. Frogs resented the militant rule of the toads. Toads started conspiring to overthrow the Newts. But without the Calamity Box, they were stuck with their own physical abilities. Weakened, the Amphibians found themselves in an era of tension and slow enroachment. Generations went by, until the only people who remembered the Age of Calamity were elders like Hop Pop, Andrias, and Valeriana.

Of course, then three stupid human girls went and opened the box.

Here’s one last thing. I don’t think anyone else could have activated the box. I mean, they didn’t wind it up, so I’m hesitant to believe that the windup mechanism was even in the box when it was put in the store. Furthermore, someone has to have opened it up in its time on Earth.

The thing is, the box needs three, one of each discipline. That’s why it is so important that all three girls opened it together. What were the chances of a wit, a heart, and a strength coming together to open that antique box? Not very high, since it took them over 5 decades since the box arrived to find it. But somehow the three girls did it, and they’re the only ones who can activate it.

The box knew they were a wit/heart/strength trio because it is made--even programmed--to detect this. It has been recognizing this pattern since the newt/frog/toad trios and temple trials.

Now the question is: how much of this story will Hop Pop verify in After the Rain?

[bufomancer]

Realistically I don’t think I’m going to get any new reptiles (at least not for the foreseeable future) unless one gets literally dumped on me. 6 enclosures is plenty, and once everyone is in their adult viv I’ll have one 5ft viv, 2 4ft vivs, 2 3ft vivs, and 1 2ft viv. Which is kind of a lot of real estate to dedicate to them! Obviously I want all my herps to have enough space, I am not planning to downsize enclosures or rehome anyone. Just not planning to get any more.

I’d like to be able to dedicate a 40 breeder in a separate space for fostering reptiles, but then I run the risk of ending up with another permanent resident lol.

While 6 herp enclosures isn’t a lot of work especially compared to the rodents, and the maintenance cost is low (just a high up front cost to set vivs up) they’re a bigger commitment because they live so much longer. I should have all of my reptiles for at least the next decade, and my amphibians for hopefully that long too. Meryt is almost 4, but pacman frogs can live upwards of 10 years and I hope he’ll live a long time. Freak…… who can really say. There are reports of salamanders like him living several years, and he’s a year and a half old.

Anyways, just rambling and thinking about the future. I love owning reptiles and amphibians, I’ve met so many amazing people through the hobby that take fantastic care of their critters. But there’s also so much bad in the hobby and it can be really hard to avoid. I like to stick to my little advancing husbandry corners of the reptile internet and I’d like to focus more on rehabilitating and fostering unwanted reptiles so they can find good permanent homes. And of course educating potential and current reptile owners + doing what I can to improve welfare for my own beasts

[crinkliedfries]

Mutuals as animals?

this took me a bit to think about + my brain is a bit fried,, here we go d:) (if anyone wants to know why they have a specific animal. i can try to explain,, some are just Vibes though)

@sprouttears - raccoon or fire salamander d:)

@chiiquitita - a little bunny <3 or capybara!

@littledarlingwellaway - you get,, the bearded dragons. there is an actual reason behind this that is not just related to bearded dragon conversation d:) also crow!

@driveinsitarday - caiman or ferret!!

@matteverwood - little sheep! or a hummingbird! or a little bear,,, bears are very very good d:D!

@coincidence-ithinknots-blog - snaaaaake. snake. i mean this in the absolute best way possible. or a pink fairy armadillo!

@pronominalize-aspection - SHEEP FOR SURE,,, ophelia my beloved <3 but also a little grey cat that likes to stretch out in the sun and sit near plants!!

@run-down-that-dream - dragonfly! or a poison dart frog (i mean this in the best way possible i promise). or a great pyrenees d:)

@nonsemsical - cheetah(? i think that's the right one, at least) or pangolin! also capybara,,, just Friend Shaped

@stormcloudsandshadows - dove or snake!

@elictriclightorchestra - a. axolotl. i do not know why it's just the Feel (i mean this in the best possible way)

@phoenixharrison - ALSO a great pyrenees. it's just the Vibes. or an echidna

@divine-and-decaying - fox

@staringabyss - pygmy marmoset d:)

mutuals as (blank) ask game