#Anti Baby Pille

[ace-and-ranty]

I gotta say, people acting like "Unobtanium" is a stupid name for the Avatar mineral seem to really underestimate how stupid naming conventions are in the real world.

That isn't bad writing, that is just how humans work.

[samsno1]

ill finish my smut reqs in my ovulation week, just wait a little more guys

[foreignobjecticus]

TMI bitching but also not because I firmly believe we need to get over not talking about menstruation, but also I don't care to talk about it myself because I personally loathe it, BUT

it's apparently been 7 months since the last time I menstruated which is fabulous (thank you ultimately unpredictable but still wonderful hormone pills) BUT 7 months is still way too fucking soon. Now I'm looking at my schedule like "yeah, alrighttttt, I supposeeeee I can fit you in. But you better not fuck me over too much on Monday; I've got a lot of standing up that day".

[gaymom]

the fact u immediately throw people with low empathy under the bus is super funny also Lol. god forbid people with npd be wary of people who use narcicissm as an insult as if the word isnt intrinsically tied to the disorder now. we look up resources and are constantly fucking bombarded with articles telling us we're abusive monsters for having npd. have a little decency bro.

yeah you can't pretend that all discussions of narcissism are implicitly tied to the disorder. Narcissist isnt just an insult, although the traits associated with it are definitely negative under a non-individualistic value system. Narcissist is also a word that has been used by people far before NPD was researched and defined in the dsm. The word describes someone with low empathy and a specific affect to their ego that is self focused and disregarding of others. The FACT is that the vast majority of individuals with narcissistic traits DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE that they have narcissistic traits that negatively impact those close to them NOR DO THEY PURSUE MEDICAL SUPPORT OR DIAGNOSIS FOR IT. Which is exactly why I haven't talked about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Often those who find nothing wrong with taking advantage of others end up finding communities/workplaces where their disregard for others is valued, and that's pretty easy in a capitalist society where many people look up to those with narcissistic traits for the power they have over other people. There are plenty of abuse survivors who have experienced narcissists like Amber Heard not take accountability and take their smear campaigns to the public stage and still successfully take advantage of the biases of large populations of people who form impressions off of lies.

So maybe take a look at your reactivity to people talking about this topic and why you felt the need to send me this, because it's disregarding the subject of my posts and is disconnected from the material reality of narcissistic traits and their effect on social systems. But I'm guessing this is a personal feeling of insecurity on your part that you identify with the narcissists I'm talking about because instead of recognizing I'm talking about abusive narcissists who don't take accountability and don't seek help and take lies and cruelty too far, YOU IDENTIFY with the narcs Im referencing and send me this pity party about how hard it is for you to hear how angry people talk after being hurt by people who let your condition go unchecked. Low empathy is not a sub-human trait, I dont think people without empathy are monsters. But I KNOW some of those people dismiss the reality of their low empathy and the damage they do BECAUSE of their narcissism. So maybe, be less wary of people talking about the damage of narcissism and be more wary of how your biases can lead you to being out of touch.

[lariej]

listen i will always have higher standards for how a man should treat me on the basis that AS SOON AS my mum said she had had enough kids to be happy and didn’t wanna take birth control anymore my dad immediately booked to have a vasectomy.

my uncle married into his wife’s family where she already had two kids and they established they didn’t want anymore, he got a vasectomy too.

all men in my family have vasectomies once it’s established their wives don’t want anymore kids so there’s a BAR and you have to meet that sorry <3

i have also seen my dad fully turn a car around bc we spotted a woman with a baby stroller walking with a guy in a black hoodie a few paces behind her and dad wanted to make sure she got home safe so my dad is a defender of women and men should in fact be afraid <3

[lokadottr]

@dereiserne is sharing german phrases with me and honestly??? it is everything

[moxxiesleftball]

the language of my ancestors and this is what we got?

[itscloverisntit]

anyone else wanna lowkey commit sayori because the meds they're taking are giving them huge mood swings and they can't take it anymore or is it just me

[vitamingummybear]

i'm on my period. i started taking progesterone anti baby pills or whatever they're called, and now i'm bleeding, have mild diarrhea, have mood swings, horny swings, aaaaaaaa

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

female trans people injecting testosterone and male trans people estrogen is arbitrary then?

Read "Testosterone: An Unauthorized Biography" by Dr. Katrina Karkazis and Dr. Rebecca Jordan-Young for more on this

[dontwanderoff]

god i just looked at a picture of dale jennings and started welling up is this just me now??? am i to be a victim to my body's whims now???

[littlemssam]

Patch Updates

As always delete old Mods Files and the localthumbcache, when updating my Mods!

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Make sure to download the updated XML Injector when you Patch your Game!

Patch 1.110.265 Updates (All other Mods should still be compatible!):

Advanced Birth Certificate Anti Heat Pill (Pets) Autonomous Gardening Autonomous go Jogging when Sims are Stressed & Children can Jog too Better Butler (and Hire more Butler) Better Nanny (Second Nanny & more) Calendar Tweaks Carryable Performance Stage plus Sing Songs! Collectibles (Rock Digging) Rework (Slower/Harder) Flea Market appears every Sunday Food Delivery Service Go for a Walk with Cats Healthy Drinks Hire certain Vet Employees Hire certain Sims (incl. Family Members) at Restaurants Housewarming Party (instead of Welcome Wagon) Improved Kids Night Light Improved Practical Spells Kids can go for a Walk with Dogs Let Friends Age Up More Away Actions More Buyable Venues and new Venue Types More Woodworks My Little Neighborhood Objects don't share Inventory Parenting Skill for Teens & more Personal Objects (Computer, Tablets & more) Power Napping on Sofas Pregnancy Overhaul - Pregnancy Belly Part Pregnancy Overhaul - Can do more Part Retail Overhaul - Hire certain Employees Part Retail Overhaul - Go Shopping – More Options Part Sell more self made Woodwork at the Flea Market Sleep In Small Archaeology Overhaul Small Invite to Hang Out Overhaul Teach me the Rumbasim

Random Small Mods

Auto Grab Drink when Eating Purchased Items delievered via Mail Keyboard Piano sounds Copy Graduation Photos and Diplomas Better Power Water Production Higher Skill Faster Candle Making Bouncer Only Homeless Sims Fan Stans Only Homeless Sims New Hug Animation If Confident No Auto Club Gathering (Active Household) Horse Jump Parkour Teen Can Buy Lottery Ticket NPCs Auto Massage & Meditation Vampires No Cold Breath Lower Fire Chance Vacuum Time and Autonomy Changes Release all Ghosts & Get Urn for

Random Bug Fixes

Deliver Baby at Hospital Elevator Fix for Toddler & Pets Murphy Beds Fix Trait Buff Fixes Weather NPC Deaths

Probably obsolete, pls remove and test without it:

Stop Eating Spoiled Food Fix

EA patch fixed that in 1.110.265 "Sims will not eat spoiled food autonomously."

Other adopted Mods

Always keep a Doctor at Hospital Change Into Towel Everywhere Faster Gardening Homework Tweaks Immortality Potion Tweaks Keep Books after Publishing Kiss Neck for Adults More traumatic divorce for Children Play Cards Anywhere Subject Homework Tea for Children Violin & Guitar Bugfixes

---

My Site with all possible Download Links: lms-mods.com

Support Questions via Discord only please!

[atzaurora]

[˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗] 𝒮𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒚 𝒜𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒆𝒔.﹙정윤호﹚(1.5k)

𖥔 afab!reader x yunho ; dating ⸼જ After an argument with Yunho, you both make up as he shows you just how sorry he is... ➤ imagine (smut, slight angst) .ᐟ.ᐟ 18+/smut content, MDNI!!!, unprotected sex, m & f receiving oral sex, make-up sex, light dirty talk, marking (hickeys) .ᐟ.ᐟ

꒰🖇꒱ just imagining this with Yunho omfg someone get me my anti delulu pills asap O⁠_⁠o enjoyyy

if you have any ideas or wishes let me know, requests are open

here's my [𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕]! ; [𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕] here! ; [about me] + [guidelines]! ; my tiktok

reblogs appreciated

You were sprawled across your bed, staring at the ceiling, still feeling the remnants of the argument from earlier. The tension between you and Yunho lingered in the air, heavy and unspoken. You hated fighting with him, but sometimes, his words cut deeper than he realized. You knew he hadn't meant to upset you, but it was hard to shake off the sting of the argument.

A soft knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts. "Can I come in?" Yunho's voice was quiet, almost hesitant, as the door creaked open slightly. His head peeked through the crack, his eyes searching for yours. ── ࣪˖ MORE BELOW

"Yeah, come in," you replied, sitting up and crossing your arms, still feeling a little hurt. You didn't want to admit it, but seeing him standing there, looking a little unsure of himself, softened you just a bit.

He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. "Look, I'm sorry, baby." His voice was sincere as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to you. "I overreacted, and I shouldn't have said all that." His hand found yours, and the way his eyes met yours, you knew he truly regretted his words.

The argument had started over something small, as it often does. You'd both been tired, stressed from work and life, and it had blown up faster than either of you had anticipated. He'd raised his voice, saying things in the heat of the moment that stung, and you'd reacted defensively. The exchange left a bruise on your heart that hadn’t yet faded.

You took a deep breath, the memory of his sharp words replaying in your mind. But looking at him now, his face softened with genuine remorse, it was hard to stay angry. You nodded, scooting closer to him. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it." You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, and a hint of relief flickered across his face as he felt your warmth return to him.

Yunho wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you closer to him, his hold strong but gentle. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin as he placed tender kisses there. "No, I really am sorry, sweetheart," he mumbled against your neck, his voice vibrating softly against you. "I hate that I hurt you. Let me make it up to you."

Your eyes widened slightly at the tone of his voice, the way it dipped lower, laced with a promise. "What exactly are you thinking about?" you asked, your breath catching in your throat as you felt his lips travel along the curve of your neck.

Yunho chuckled softly, his warm breath tickling your skin as he hovered over you, gently easing you back against the mattress. "I'll show you," he murmured, his lips brushing yours in a soft but intentional kiss. The tension from your earlier argument was melting away, replaced by something hotter, something far more urgent.

The kiss deepened quickly, far more passionate than the soft apologies you'd shared moments ago. There was a hunger in his touch, an intensity that made your heart race. His tongue flicked against your bottom lip, seeking entrance, and you eagerly parted your lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His tongue tangled with yours, each movement slow and deliberate, as if he were trying to tell you with every kiss just how sorry he was.

Your fingers found the hem of his shirt, clinging to it as you let out a small gasp, feeling his hands move to the waistband of your pants. He hesitated for a second, pulling away slightly to meet your gaze. His dark eyes flickered with something between desire and regret. "Shh, relax," he whispered, his voice deep and soothing as his fingers slipped inside your pants. "Let me do the work. It’s my way of apologizing."

He ran his finger lightly over the damp spot on your panties, a low, mocking laugh escaping his lips. "God, you're already so wet for me," he taunted, his voice thick with lust as he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your pants and pulled them down along with your underwear. The fabric slipped off easily, leaving your lower half completely exposed to him.

Your breath hitched as he wasted no time, quickly moving to free your breasts from your shirt and bra, leaving you completely bare beneath him. His eyes drank in the sight of you, a look of pure admiration on his face as he licked his lips. You felt your cheeks heat up under his intense gaze, a mixture of vulnerability and anticipation washing over you.

Yunho stood up briefly, pulling off his own jeans and boxers, his erection already straining, eager to be inside you. He positioned himself between your legs, teasing you by running the tip of his cock between your folds, collecting your slick. "This is what I should’ve been doing instead of arguing," he muttered, his voice thick with desire as he pushed himself inside you in one smooth motion, filling you completely.

You let out a soft moan as your walls stretched to accommodate his thick length. The feeling of him buried so deep inside you made any remnants of your earlier anger melt away entirely. There was no space left for anything but the pleasure building between you, the way his hips rolled slowly at first, allowing you to adjust to the fullness.

Even if a part of you had still been angry, it was impossible to hold onto that now. The way he filled you, hitting that sweet spot inside you with every thrust, made your body tremble with pleasure. Each stroke had you closer to falling apart beneath him, your mind consumed with the feel of him moving inside you, taking you with the intensity you craved.

Yunho pressed his lips against your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine as he whispered, "There we go, baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?" His voice was low and teasing, but the way his hips snapped against yours with more force made you gasp. His lips traveled along your neck, leaving a trail of marks that would undoubtedly linger, small reminders of this moment for you to see later.

Your fingers found his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as the knot in your stomach tightened, your body hurtling toward release. The way his cock stretched you, filling you perfectly with each thrust, left you a moaning mess beneath him. "Yunho…" His name was the only word you could manage, each syllable broken by the sounds of your pleasure.

He could feel you clenching around him, your walls squeezing him tighter with every thrust. "You’re close, aren’t you?" he asked, though it was less of a question and more of a statement. The way your body trembled beneath him, the desperate moans falling from your lips, told him everything he needed to know.

You could only nod in response, unable to form coherent words as your climax approached rapidly. Your head fell back against the pillow, and your nails scratched along his back, leaving red trails in their wake. The tension coiled tighter and tighter in your belly, and with a few more thrusts, you came hard around his cock, your orgasm crashing over you in waves.

Yunho groaned, the feeling of your walls clenching around him nearly sending him over the edge. "That’s it, angel. Come whenever you want. This is for you," he murmured, his voice breathless as his hips continued to move, riding out your high.

Your vision blurred with pleasure, the warmth of his words sinking into your bones as you trembled beneath him. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, you felt him twitch inside you, signaling that he was close as well.

Your fingernails dug deeper into his skin as he chased his own release, his thrusts growing sloppier but no less intense. And then, with a low groan, he came inside you, filling you up as his hips jerked against yours. The sensation of his warm release mixing with your own sent another shiver of pleasure through you.

Yunho slowed his movements, gently riding out the last of his high before finally pulling out of you. His chest heaved as he leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your thighs before licking away the cum that was starting to drip from your swollen core.

He climbed back up to meet your lips, kissing you deeply. You could taste the salty sweetness of both of you on his tongue, and you couldn’t help but chuckle into the kiss.

Pulling back slightly, you whispered, "We should argue more often, because that was amazing."

Yunho smiled against your lips, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I’ll make sure I mess up more often then," he teased softly, his voice still breathless. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, and you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of his embrace as the final reminder of just how deeply he cared.

[hier--soir]

take your medicine

pre-outbreak joel miller x f!reader

rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: *tv sales advert voice* so you've been finding it hard to reach orgasm? lucky for you, our best-selling item "hunky boyfriend joel" is on sale at half price. shipping is free, and he is very determined to help you achieve your goals! call the number on your screen to buy now! OR your medication makes it difficult to orgasm so joel (and your vibrator) help make it happen. warnings/tags: set in the early 2000s aka early thirties joel my lover boyyyy, boyfriend joel, depression [nothing dark or sad], anti-depressants, brief discussion of food/eating, cigarette smoking [f], soft!supportive!joel, mentions of masturbation [f], unprotected piv sex, use of a sex toy, ride 'em cowgirl (1939) dir. samuel diege, cream pie, dirty talk, joel talks you through it. word count: 2.9k masterlist a/n: so this one is.... self-indulgent. shout out to all my friends on anti-depressants that are strugglin' to reach orgasm. me too, pals, me too. and there will be no medication shaming on this account, no there will not! so happy sunday, i hope someone else out there enjoys this short little thing with me x follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing

Medication is a journey, they say. Every day will be different.

Medication is not the end all be all, they say. We can always try different avenues.

Six months on, now.

Six months since Let’s try the Zoloft for a few months.

Six months since We can reassess in April.

It’s June and summer has settled over Austin with a hot wet vengeance. April came and went with a mutual agreement that you weren’t ready to be weaned off yet. A gentle hand on your forearm and a softly spoken Why don’t we check in again in July?

A low dose. A starter dose. A you shouldn’t experience too many side-effects dose.  

And she was right – for the most part. There were no headaches, no nausea, no dizzy spells, no changes in appetite. That shallow, low mood that’d been haunting you for months suddenly began to lift. Begrudging exercise in the afternoons, a three-meals-a-day regiment implemented by your boyfriend, and a happy little pill with every morning coffee.

But fuck – you can count the number of orgasms you’ve had since January on one hand.

Countless nights spent alone in your bed, tangled betwixt sweaty sheets, fingers and forearm cramping until you finally give up. Drink a cold glass of water, wet your face, and go to bed frustrated; a routine disappointment.

You’d gotten lucky a few times, of course. Vibrator on the highest setting possible, pussy all puffed up and numb from the rough speed. Frustrated tears in your eyes, lightheaded by the time you finally feel that sweet sweet relief coursing through your veins.

A few times with Joel, too, in those first few months. And ignorance was bliss—quite literally—until he caught onto what you’d been doing.

“What was different tonight?” he’d asked you on one of those nights, laid out beside each other in his bed. Chests heaving, satisfied smiles spread across your faces.

Your hand had paused against his head, fingers twisted up in his sweaty curls, and you hesitated. So quick, the briefest pause before trying to play it off, but he caught it. Always too perceptive, too watchful of an eye; especially since you’d been diagnosed.

“What’s wrong?” Joel frowned.

“I… didn’t… my…” you’d mumbled, face tucked against his pillow.

“Can’t hear you when you do that,” he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Baby?”

“I didn’t take my meds today,” you repeated, voice still low, still wary. But you could tell he heard you. Knew from the way his body stiffened beside you. From how when you looked over his smile had dropped, eyebrows pinching inward. 

For a moment he didn’t even say anything. He hardly breathed. And then—Darlin’, why would you do that?—so painfully soft, the faintest tinge of worry in that deep, rasping voice of his. 

“I don’t know,” you sighed, and something hot began to burn behind your eyes. Wet, pinching shame. “Just… I woke up and I wanted you. And I wanted it to feel like it used to for us, and I can never… you know I can’t finish when I’m on them, and I hate feeling like I’m disappointing you—”

“Baby,” Joel shook his head, strong hand cupping your jaw. His forehead knocked against yours; a tender but firm kind of insistence. The type that says look me in the fucking eyes and listen up. “You’re not disappointin’ me.”

“Joel,” you sighed, face hot, foreheads tacky where they pressed together.

“No,” he grunted. “I fuckin’ mean it. This stuff takes time, okay? We’ll figure it out the way we always do. Just… don’t do that again. Please.”

“I won’t,” you murmured feebly, nose smushed against his.  

“Promise me,” Joel had urged you. “Promise me you’ll take your medicine.” 

“I promise, Joel.”

You kept strong on that promise. Didn’t get frustrated when he’d stay over more nights than usual, or drag you back to his place in the evenings – all just to watch you pop that little white pill in the mornings.  

It brought out something new in him, the day you’d showed him the prescription. Like some instinctual protectiveness was unlocked and he just kicked into hyperdrive.

Cutting work early to drive you to your doctor’s office, cooking up different meals every night for dinner.

Most days you wake up alone in his bed; wipe the sleep out of your eyes as you wander downstairs. Let him nudge you into a chair at the table, beside Sarah, so he can set identical bowls of cereal in front of the two of you—his girls. Hell, if you had a dollar for every time that man has said Breakfast is the most important meal of the day in the past six months, you’d have more money than you could spend.

Joel didn’t even get mad when you started smoking again in May.

Didn’t bat an eye when he found you at two in the morning, sat on the back porch in one of his sweatshirts with the smell of tobacco staining your fingers.

“Been a long time since I seen once of those in your mouth,” he’d smirked, settling onto the stoop beside you.

“I’m sorry,” you grimaced, remembering how proud he’d been when you quit. He rested his head against your shoulder, eyes watering with a yawn.

“S’late,” he grumbled sleepily. “N’you smell now.”

“I’m sorry,” you’d repeated, stamping the cigarette into the concrete. “Today was just… hard. Couldn’t sleep.”  

“S’okay,” Joel told you. “Just don’t like it when you sneak out on me, yeah? You know I ain’t judgin’ you.”

The only thing that frustrates Joel, is that he comes, and you don’t.

And it’s not a frustration with you. No, it’s a hot faced guilt that spreads through him every time you fuck. Evident in those frantic touches, desperate pleas of your name, of tell me what to do, tell me how to help, of fuck I’m sorry.

Because you still want him, despite it all. Still can’t help your wandering hands, your fingers that tease back his bed sheets and then his boxers and coax orgasm after orgasm out of him, night after night.

Tonight, you thought, would be no different.

Covers strewn across the end of your bed, pillows askew, you sit astride his lap.

It’s hot; the AC in your apartment has been broken all week, and your thighs are tacky with sweat where they press against his skin. Everything wet – sweat in your hair, slick between your thighs, the soft squelching sound that raises with every press of his cock inside of you.

“Fuck,” Joel pants, hands tight against your waist. “I can’t—goddammit, I’m not gonna last, baby.” 

“It’s okay,” you moan, eyelids heavy as you rock your hips over his.

It’s late, and you both have work early in the morning, but the burn is so good like this. The heavy weight of him reaching so far, pushing the limits of what your body can take. For years it’s been your favourite way to fuck him; poised above his body, admiring the way his stomach tightens and his eyes roll when you sink down on his cock.

“What can I do?” his voice is strained, the veins in his neck bulging as he holds his breath – anything to stave off the impending high.

You only whimper pathetically, grinding your hips into his. Can feel everything in your stomach knotting up into a white-hot ball.

“Hey,” Joel urges, hand landing in a soft slap against your outer thigh. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t know,” you cry out, shaking your head. “It’s right there, but I…”

“But what?” he murmurs, hips snapping up again.

“I don’t think I can,” you finally admit, eyebrows drawn tight in frustration. Your lower lip is bitten raw at this point, incessantly gnawed at by your own teeth. His grip tightens on your hips and he drags you upward until his length slips out, falling against his stomach with a wet smack.

“C’mon, tell me what you need,” he says quickly, and you’re sure that the desperation you see in his eyes is mirrored in your own. Pupils blown round and fat, endless black—pleading.

You stare down at him for a moment. Watch the way his chest heaves with harsh, stilted breathes. How little dots of sweat have gathered at the hollow of his throat. And fuck, you want it so bad.

“Top drawer,” you exhale roughly, pointing to the side table.

Joel doesn’t question the order. Doesn’t say a word as he spreads a long arm across the bed, yanking the drawer open and shoving his hand inside. You watch him rifle around for a moment, pulse increasing as you wait for him to find what you want. What you need. And you can tell when he does; his shoulders stiffen and he lets out a choked sort of sound, pulling out the black wand and shoving it into your hand.

“Show me,” he says, eyes wild.

Your finger drops down against the button, turning your hand to show him which one to press.

“There’s four settings,” you murmur, slipping it back into his palm.

“Does this normally help?” he asks, grunting softly as you grip his cock, notching the tip back at your entrance.

“Sometimes,” you sigh, sinking down, sucking in the heavy weight of him. “Can still take a—a little while.”

He presses the button tentatively, watching as the rounded head of the wand starts to vibrate. Spread open around him, he can see your swollen little clit so easily, and he lowers the wand to press against it. Your body jolts forward, mouth splitting open with a groan as heat flares through you. Your hips stutter against him instinctively, chasing that intense feeling, and he looses a gravelly moan at the feeling of your wasted cunt squeezing around him.

“Look at that,” Joel grunts, dark eyes trained on your face. That wicked pink tongue slips out to wet his lips and he nods in encouragement. “I know, baby, I know it’s a lot, you feel good?” 

“Yes,” you gasp, jaw going slack as you settle into the feeling. “Fuck, yes, it’s good, it’s good.”

It’s nothing you’ve ever felt before; nothing your past boyfriends had ever been comfortable enough to try. It has the muscles in your thighs tensing up already; the thick press of his cock paired with that unrelenting, almost overbearing, vibration.

“Can feel it,” he hisses out, head tilting back into the mattress.

“Yeah?”

“Mm,” he nods, expression grim. The muscle in his jaw twitches. “So fuckin’ tight like this. All wound up, y’need it so bad, I know.”

You moan, eyelids fluttering as he presses the button again, notching it to a higher speed. You lift up slowly and then press back down over him, and the two of you groan in unison. His free hand falls against the curve of your ass and he squeezes, encouraging you to rock against him, starting up a steady pace.

One of your hands settles on your chest, fingers twisting and pulling at your nipples. You need more, always more, something, anything.

“Look so fuckin’ good like this,” Joel mutters, and you can tell how fucked out he is already as he watches you. Dark eyes glazing over, mouth hanging open deliriously. “My pretty girl, so damn good for me.”  

Your heart stumbles in your chest and you whimper, appreciation for him flooding your senses. He’s been so close for so long tonight already, teetering precariously on that edge but holding off for you. Fucking you into the mattress before pulling out and tucking his face between your thighs, doing his damnedest to get you to that same place. Urging you to get on top, to take what you needed, to use him to get yourself off.  

“I love you,” you mumble breathlessly, eyes pinching closed as something sharp starts to tingle at the bottom of your stomach.

“Fuck, fuck,” Joel snarls, hips snapping upward.  

“What ar—” your words cut off with choked moan as he clicks the button again, and then again, taking it to the highest speed. Your shoulders shake and you tilt forward a little, hand gripping his shoulder to steady yourself.

“Joel,” you cry out, chest heaving and stomach tightening.

Your fingers wrap around his wrist, searching for something to ground yourself against. That firm press against your clit doesn’t falter for a second, and you let out a rough moan.  

“Good,” he grunts. “Good girl, give it to me.”

The muscle in his bicep spasms and strains beneath the skin, everything pulled taut as he keeps the wand pressed firmly against you. And it’s almost painful, the way you can feel your high coiling inside you, burning, but never quite reaching fever pitch the way you need it to. 

A symphony that builds and billows and writhes within you. Sloping swells of violins and cellos and trumpets. Up, up, up to that shattering crescendo you just can’t seem to reach.

“Joel,” you mewl, and there’s tears in your eyes, on your cheeks. Hot, fat tears that stain your face now, dripping from your chin to splatter against his chest.

“C’mon now,” he grunts, hips shifting up off the bed, meeting you thrust for thrust. The stretch of his cock is so wide, so deep, and every shift of his body punches the air from your lungs.

“I don’t know if I can,” you shake your head, stomach on fire. The vibrations are so intense, the speed so fast, you can feel your clit going numb beneath it. But Joel doesn’t pull away, doesn’t stop the fast pace of his hips. The muscles in his abdomen twitch under you, tan skin glistening with sweat.

“You’re so close,” he goads, jaw tight. “Don’t fight it, baby.”

“Stop moving,” you beg then, your voice a high keen. Joel stills instantly, wary eyes darting across your face. He doesn’t pull the vibrator away though. Not yet.

“Fuck,” you cry out, hand firm against his stomach. “Just let me-just—”

Knees on fire against the bed, you grind your hips down into his. Gasp as his cock presses hot and heavy against something deep inside of you that sets your entire body shaking, vibrating against him; buzzing at the same high-speed rhythm as the wand between your legs. You rut against him again and again and then something pulls tight and hot at the base of your spine.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, eyes widening. “Oh god, Joel, I think—”

“Shh, I know, I know,” he moans. A bead of sweat rolls from his hairline to his chin. “You’re okay, let it happen.”

“Touch me,” you say, breathless and needy and so so desperate. “Fuck, please.”

Joel groans – a deep, guttural thing. A sound that comes from somewhere in the base of his stomach. It rattles your bones and has your fingernails digging into his stomach, and then his hand is on your chest. Rough fingers squeezing and stroking and pinching and you’re gasping, keening his name as he whispers frenzied words of encouragement and it’s building it’s building it’s building and and and—

Everything goes silent when you come. It’s all blurred vision and deafened ears; an intense ache in your jaw from the way your mouth hangs open. You can feel a vein in your neck, raging beneath the skin; a staccato rushing sound that echoes inside your head.

And you think you can hear Joel’s voice, somewhere beyond it all; Fuck, there it is, good girl, good fuckin’ girl.

When your eyes flutter open, you can only see Joel’s face swimming in your vision. His eyes rolling back, lips parted as he snarls your name.

“Fuck,” he spits. “—yeah, that’s it, there we fuckin’ go.”

You feel his cock kick inside of you; fast jerking spasms and then a warm rush as he starts to come. Your hand wraps around his, pushing the wand to the side of the bed, but he doesn’t fucking stop. He grips your waist and fucks up into you, spitting curses and warbled slurs of your name as he pumps you full of his hot spend.

It’s obscene – a mix of your come and his, squeezing out around his girth and smearing against the inside of your thighs. It pools around the base of his cock and you whimper at the sight, swollen cunt still tightening around him. Only when you start to sag down against his chest does he rest, his thighs twitching and tensing with the aftershocks of his high.  

Joel raises a hand, calloused thumb brushing the tears from your cheeks. Then, carefully, he grips the back of your neck, guiding you down to rest against his chest.

Your shoulders slump and you press a lazy kiss against the jut of his collarbone. And for a moment there’s just this. No sounds but that of heavy breaths and a soft buzzing, forgotten somewhere in the sheets. The swipe of his fingertips down your spine, your lips against his salty skin. A gentle tap against your waist and he’s slipping out of you with a sigh, but not letting you pull away, not letting you move from where you’ve collapsed directly on top of him.

“Missed that,” you slur sleepily, fighting to keep your eyes open.

“Me too,” he mumbles. “Did so good. Made me proud.”

“S’that right?” you smile against his skin.

“S’right, baby.”

You hum, dragging your head up to press a kiss against his mouth. Both of you so exhausted that it’s just a brief, lazy swipe of your lips, but it’s enough. It’s thank you.

“Shower?” he suggests softly, smiling up at you.  

“Or… cigarette?” you respond, eyebrows raised, teasing.  

“Watch it,” he smarts, laying a quick smack against your ass before nudging you off of him. He stands and holds out a hand to help you off the bed, tutting underneath his breath. “Although I guess you’ve earned it.”

a/n: in hindsight, idk why the fuck i wrote that it took them six months to try this but what can you do lmao.

thank you for reading! x

[makiquas]

Its Butchtober. Bear with me for a second as I rant about children's cartoon ships, butchphobia, the conditional acceptance of butches in sapphic spaces on the basis of desirability, and feeling erased as a butch kid.

It's so funny that I realised early on as a 2000-2010s teen/kid how a lot of so called "sapphics" of social media are really, really anti butch4butch, only by interacting with certain subsets of Catradora and Appledash haters. It may be flippant to connect butchphobia with children's cartoons, but you cannot deny it is there. We finally had two canon butch4butch and masc4masc lesbian animated ships. And the fandoms decided that the best possible reaction to this is to violently hate on the ships for bullshit reasons and write up masterdocs about how the butch character actually looks better with a femme character instead (in both cases–Rarity and Glimmer, who is arguably feminine but not femme, but that's a conversation for another day, how the SPOP fandom waters down gender identities for aesthetics).

This is not just about two cartoon ships; this mindset of seeing two masc lesbians and immediately going "actually they act like bros; but this BUTCHFEMME couple has real chemistry" comes off sounding really, really bad in 2024 when you have no idea how butch identity operates, outside of depicting us as pants-wearing sexually aggressive muscular women. Butches ARE bros, even the ones who kiss each other. Camaraderie and tomboyish swagger *is* a part of their life. It's not our fault you are too fanfic trope-pilled to read these interactions are sexless friendship bantering.

It's also quite concerning, given how there are only a handful of butch4butch books in the market, and almost all of them talk about the stigmatizing of relationships between two butches/studs/masc lesbians. There are many butch lesbians who themselves face internalized butchphobia because of societal standards and expectations of being turned into the "gallant" provider of femmes. Butch and femme are not always inherently complementary, butches can be attracted to other butches, there is no "natural order" model of lesbian/sapphic attraction and your thinly veiled butchphobia is really off-putting, given you guys don't seem to extend that same rhetoric to mascfemme ships like Korrasami or Caitvi, or femme-femme ships like Harlivy.

Here, I must mention relationships like Rei and Kaoru from Oniisama E, or Jess and Lupe from A League of Their Own, who have bucket loads of chemistry but still have some vehement antis only because both the lesbians are masculine. (What's funny is the new wave of lesbian Oniisama E fans are almost all Rei/Kaoru shippers despite the show putting them into two butchfemme pairings.) Something something to be butch4butch is to be failing the tests of palatability and desirability according to conventional models of societal norms. Forever.

Again, one may have valid reasons for disliking these fictional ships (what, I genuinely don't know). But it *is* weird that you guys can watch fifty white fem4fem sapphic shows in a year and read 100+ GL with the same feminine girlish blonde and brunette/pink haired archetype and not bat an eyelid, but conjure a world of made-up "platonic" dynamics just because you read every butch4butch interaction as fundamentally platonic.

A lot of you love to throw around Stone Butch Blues as a catchphrase to educate strangers on the internet about 1950s-70s blue-collar bar culture and USA butch femme history, but how many of you actually know that within the book itself, the lead character acts prejudiced and hates on another butch for being butch4butch? How many of you know that she apologizes to her friend at the end for her hateful remarks? Fun fact: when you ostracize a butch for not fitting into your butch-femme subculture aesthetic, you're no better than lesbiphobic bigots actually.

Anyway, here are some butch4butch resources if you are a baby butch4butch and feel alienated by these kinds of weird rhetoric in online and fandom queer spaces too:

Butch4Butch romance books

My Butch4Butch books masterdoc (**being updated regularly**)

Leo Wilder's Butch4Butch writing (18+)

Butch4Butch photography archive (insta)

Boyish² Butch4Butch yuri anthology (insta)

@milsae Butch4Butch artist (tumblr/insta)

This post is made by a trans masc butch of color. Terfs, racists, biphobes and radfems kindly do not derail or interact.

[spidybaby]

A trusting matter

Summary: A confession makes Kylian think you have no trust in him. Making him feel shamed and almost breaking your relationship.

Warnings: cursing, sex talk, slut shaming, sex shaming.

"What is this?"

You turn your head to where he is, finding him walking out of the bathroom. He has something in his hands, reading the back of the box.

"I don't know, what is it?" you ask him.

He tries to read what the box means, but he can't understand any of it.

"Comprimé pelliculé." he reads out loud for you. "What does that even means?"

You frown, stretching your hand to him. "Let me see."

He hands you the box, you want to laugh at him.

It was your birth control pills. He was trying to understand what the box says but the box only reference that the box contains certain amount of pills.

"It's my contraceptive pills." you smile at him, leaving the box on the nightstand next to your side of the bed. "Want to see a movie?"

He's quiet, what is a contraceptive pill? why are you taking them?

"Are you sick?" he asks, worried about it.

You shake your head, smiling at him.

"Healthy as always."

"Then why are you taking these pills?"

You chuckle, finding him adorable. "It's contraceptive, Ky."

"What's that?"

You then get why he was so worried, he doesn't understands what the pills are for.

"They are birth control." You smile.

"Birth control as in anti baby?" He asks, still confused.

You can't help but laugh at him. Thing that makes him pout. Why were you laughing at him?

"I'm not sure if >anti baby< is the right thing to say, but yes."

His mind is still confused, why were you drinking them if he's using protection every time you had sex.

"But I'm using protection." he says, not fully getting the purpose of the pills.

"Yeah, you are."

"Then why are you taking these for?"

You sigh, wondering what's inside of his head for him to be that confused.

"Condoms can break." you say. "And it also helps me with my period, it helps me with my cramps. Not only for the anti baby part." you explain to him.

You left him sitting in bed, grabbing your water bottle and walking to the kitchen. He follows you like a kid who's ready to botter their mother with questions.

"But if the condom breaks, you can take the plan b pill, don't you?"

You roll your eyes, "Yes, that's correct. But I don't want to get to that." You say, low and monotone tone. "Birth control is safer and the fail rate is less than others."

He nods, not asking more questions. He was one not to ask much about health or things like that because you were someone healthy.

"Hey, do you want some cake?" you ask him. Opening the fridge. "I have the one you like." you take the box out of your fridge, placing it on the counter.

He nods happy, accepting a piece of it. You were seated at the top of the counter, he was between your legs as you feed him the cake while jokingly pretending to do the airplane move on him.

"You got some right here." you grab a napkin, wiping the tip of his nose.

He loves spending times like these with you. Only the two of you, things you could only do from time to time due to his agenda. Especially now that he is in Madrid.

You were telling him about this series that you were watching. He was washing the dirty dishes from dinner since you made dinner. He then gets this thought.

"Hey." He says, getting your attention.

You humm, placing the leftover food back on the fridge. You were too focused to notice his mischievous grin. He walks over to you, waiting for you to close the fridge door and turn, hitting his chest in the process.

You left out a laugh when he carries you and places you back on top of the counter. Kissing your lips while his hands grip your hips.

"I was thinking." He began. "Since you are on birth control, I can stop with the condoms."

You stop smiling, looking at him with a frown.

"And it's going to be better, because it's going to be a life saver. All those times we had to stop because I didn't have any left."

He was smiling like crazy, thinking of how much your sex life was going to change with you taking birth control. It was easier, it was faster and he didn't needed to stop when he runs out of condoms.

"Kylian," you sigh, not wanting to have this conversation. "I don't want to stop using condoms."

He frowns, not understanding you.

"Wha-Why?"

You don't want to say the real reason. "I just don't." You push him a little, getting down of the counter and walking back to the room. "It's more safe if we both are protected."

"But isn't birth control enough?" He whines. "Don't you want to feel me completely?" He asks, getting closer.

He hugs you from behind, his lips on your neck, making you shiver at the sensation. He pulls you to him, making you let out a small whine.

"Stop it." You whisper.

You take his hands away from you, walking over to the bathroom to wash your teeth. You can't help but feel a little bit bad about denying him what he wants.

But you can't.

He looks at you from the door. Not understanding why you are so questionable about the topic. He tries to understand that maybe it's because you are fearing that something fails and you get pregnant.

Even if that was the case, he would be by your side with any decision you take. But since it was not the case and he doesn't really know the real reason.

"I get that you are scared, but this can be something good for us." he says, trying to open your mind to the possibilities. "And if pregnancy its what scare-"

"Kylian, please." you say, tired of the talk. "Drop it."

"I'm just saying that you don't have to worry."

"Listen, I don't want to stop using condoms, end of story."

You walk outside of the bathroom, grabbing the clothes from your bed and walking into the closet to hang them.

"I just don't understand why you are so closed to the option."

You stayed quiet, you want to drop the conversation. If only you would have known that leaving your pills there was going to cause so much commotion.

"Y/n?"

You turn your face to him, noticing how his eyes are full of doubt. You just sigh, shaking your head and continue ordering the clothes.

"So you are just going to ignore me?" he asks, mad at your attitude.

You finish, turning to see him. "Kylian, you have been with a lot of people, I haven't. Forgive me for wanting to take care for myself." you explote.

He's taken aback, what are you even meaning?

"Take care of yourself?" he asks mad. "So I'm not safe enough for you to have sex without me wearing a condom?"

"Remember when I told you that maybe doing a test to see if you were fully healthy trigger you?" you ask. "You told me that you had that when you get the medical exams at the club. I asked you that because I don't want whatever you groupies have." you scuff.

You walk out of the room, tired of him insisting on talking about it. You take a few breaths, finally getting what you just said to him. You turn, finding him walking towards his things.

"Kylian." you call.

He just lift his hand, making you shut your mouth. You just observe him pick his things. He doesn't want to say anything back, afraid of telling something wrong.

"You were insisting, I asked you to drop it." you try.

"Yeah, I should have." he says, the way his voice is so low that scares you. "But lucky me I didn't, cause I found out my girlfriend thinks I'm fucking around and that I'm going to catch something and giving it to her."

"Kylian, don't go." you say, blocking the exit. "Let's just calm down and have a conversation."

"Oh! you want to talk now?" he laughs. "Well, now I don't want to."

You watch him go out of your house. Hearing the sound of his car getting away from your property. You feel bad about what the way this conversation goes.

"But why did you even say that?" your best friend says.

You look at her like a kid whose parent is scolding.

"I asked him to stop with the conversation, and when he didn't I lashed out."

You feel the guilt of the words you say to him. You know that what you say hurted him, you know that maybe this isn't something he would forget.

"I tried everything, calling, texting, even went to his place, but he was back in Madrid." you sigh, not sure of what else to do.

Your friend tries to think about what you can do to tried to make your situation right. It's a difficult position, because you lashed out when he kept insisting on doing something you weren't comfortable about.

The thing is, you would have been comfortable, but when you asked him something you asked your last partner, he refused.

Your mother taught you that you needed to be careful when it comes to sex. She works in health care and constantly sees how girl get things because the boys they are with are also with half the city.

Hearing stories about girls being sick and having to go out of their ways to fix something their boyfriends or sex partners got them was your daily stories.

So when you asked Kylian in a not direct way, he told you that he didn't needed that, he got those test every season and every six months thanks to the club.

> "I was thinking" you say, sitting next to him on the couch. "In this biology class I'm taking, they are encouraging us to get these test to now we are healthy."

"Really? what kind?" he asks.

"Oh you know, some blood ones, some normal check out to discard any std, any sickness. And my friends and I are a little bit scared of doing it." You show him the pamphlet.

"Scared?" he asks, a little concerned about you. "Is it that invasive?" he read what the test are.

"Not sure, just you know needles. They are taking their boyfriends and I want to ask if you want to join me, maybe?"

He reads the whole thing, looking at you with a smile. "I've done these tests. They are not that bad." he says. "Don't worry, take it from me."

"Oh, you have?" you ask, smiling. "When was the last time?"

He thinks for a moment. "I think before the year started."

"That's almost eight months ago." you say. "Don't you think that it's better if you get another one?" you say, batting your eyelashes.

"No, thank you." he says. "I'll get one when I get to the medical testing in Madrid. No need for more."

"But, you will do your girlfriend a favor."

"Let me think." he says, pressing his fingers on his temples. He pretends to think about it for a moment. "No, let's go to eat." he says, kissing your temple and walking to the kitchen. <

You met Kylian only six months ago. You didn't sleep with him right away, you wanted to meet him before even think about that. You liked him too much and didn't wanted to rush things.

You know that he was someone who got girls that wanted to spend a night with him. You read news about him "hooking up" with different models or influencers.

That he was flying them to Paris, when he was in PSG. Then when he announced the moving the news were that he was moving this model from Paris with him to Madrid.

You never cared about those things, you trusted him. He was someone who was very family orientated. He prefers to spend the night with him at home than to go out.

When he asked if you wanted to become official, you were thrilled. You love spending time with him, and not to lie but the trips, the gifts and the games passes were an amazing extra thing.

"I'm going to Madrid." You say to your friend.

"You are crazy?" she asks. "What about your job?

"I mean, a signed Real Madrid jersey will do for our boss." you say, writing the email. "Also, I booked him and his mistress some tickets for Hawaii, so he better give me the time or his wife would get the email with the information." you smile at her.

When your boss asked for not one but two signed jerseys, you booked your ticket. You knew where Kylian was living, you even have a copy of his keys for emergencies.

You grab a small bag, packing only a few things. You hoped that he wanted to see you. Your friend drove you to the airport, it was not a long flight. Only two hours and a few minutes. You will survive.

To you luck, you notice how the Real Madrid instagram is posting about the players training, so you have time to think about what you will say and how you would say it.

You have a copy of the pass for the gate, so you with no problem got inside. You tried to think about the situation, mentally hitting yourself for being that mean and dumb.

You know that the two of you were wrong, he on one side for forcing the conversation on you, even when you asked him to drop it in a nice way.

And you, for basically telling him that you didn't want his rabies that he probably got from his one night stands.

You sat down in the couch, tired of overthinking the situation. You don't want to lose him, not over something like that. Even when you basically accused him of cheating.

You were so into your mind that you don't pick the sound of the door opening and closing. You just hear the voices and tense.

He wasn't alone.

"Oh hi!" a dark hair boy says, smiling. "Kylian, you didn't told us you got company, we need more drinks."

You wave at him, a little shy to say something.

"Company?" Kylian asks confused. That's when he sees you, red cheeks and awkward smile. "Hey." he says, walking towards you.

"Hey." you say. "Hi, by the way." you finally say.

"This is Vini." Kylian says, pointing at him. "Vini, this is my girlfriend. I talked to you guys about her."

You smile at him. He still refers about you like his girlfriend.

"Nice to meet you." he smiles. "I'll call Rodry, he will bring more drinks."

You look at Kylian, trying to get an explanation so you don't look too lost. "We are watching a game." he says.

You nod, feeling a little dumb because there's people there and you can't really talk with him like you wanted to.

"No need to call Rodry." you say, standing up. "I'll be upstairs, so you can have more privacy."

You give him a small smile and walk a little fast to the stairs, feeling a little embarrassed about how your plan is going. You feel a hand on your arm, making you turn.

It was Kylian, he then moves his hand from your arm to you own hand. He grabs it, walking upstairs. He leads the way, you can't keep your eyes away from him.

He can feel you sight, he feels the need to turn around. When you two are inside his room he turn around, looking at you with this neutral expression.

You wait for him to say something, but he didn't. He wanted you to start. "Hi." you say, smiling a little. You really don't know what to say.

He want to laugh, but he remembers that he's mad. So he won't do it. You feel defeated, wanting for him to smile at your awkwardness.

"How long are your friends staying?" you ask.

You don't want to talk with him when his friends are downstairs. You want to be able to have a conversation with him and two be able to express how you feel without caring. You can't do that if there's people waiting on him.

"A little bit after the game, we have training in the afternoon, so we can stay a little bit later than normal. But I can ask them to leave right after the game."

You shake your head. "No, it's okay. I can wait."

"Vini did asked Rodry for more drinks, so you kind of have to get down at some point or they will come get you." he jokes.

"Maybe after the break." you smile back. "I'll take a shower first."

He nods, smiling at you. He walks downstairs, wanting to call the night off and hear you out. He wasn't mad anymore, just a little ego hurt. But he can't be mad at you that long. Not you.

"Rodry and Jude are almost here." Vini smiles. "Is your girlfriend joining? or did I scared her when I mentioned drinks?" he asks, joking.

"She's taking a shower, she will join us in a few."

You can hear the way they are screaming and cursing at whatever is going on at the game. You laugh when you hear one of his friends saying something in a very bad french.

The laugh Kylian left out is music to your ears. You sat on the stairs, not feeling like going down. You missed him, his humor and his laugh.

"No way these motherfuckers are only giving two extra minutes." Jude yells. "That's bullshit."

"Innit" Vini laughs, making fun of Jude's accent.

The other three boys laugh, making Jude curse Vini. The game came to an end, you know because the guys criticize the way the referee did and how the coaches did.

You got up, slowly walking upstairs.

"Okay, ladies." Kylian says. "Time to go home."

"We still have drinks." Rodry says.

"My girlfriend just flew in from Paris, pardon me that I want to spend time with her and not with your asses."

You stop on your tracks, wanting to hear more. You feel your heart warming up.

He wanted to spend time with you.

"Got it, let's go, boys."

"You own us one."

"I want to be with my girlfriend now."

You walk back into his room, smiling.

You regret not talking thing with him. You know that everything was avoidable if you would've been honest from the beginning.

You sat on the bed, watching the door carefully. You can't wait any more. The ninety something minutes you spend waiting for the game to be over were killing you.

The door opens quickly. You tried to act as if you weren't waiting for it to open. Earning a chuckle from you boyfriend. You feel the heat in your face, embarrassed of him discovering you.

He closes the door, walking to the bathroom. The door is left open, you can see how he's stripping his clothes. You fall back into the bed, not taking your eyes away from him.

He knows what he is doing.

You can hear the shower. You take a deep breath, mentally hitting yourself. You have to control yourself. You close your eyes, words repeating on and on and on. You know what you want to say and you will say it.

You are to into your thoughts, practicing how you will deliver the words, how you are giving him the message that you trust him and never doubt his loyalty.

You feel a cold hand grabbing you ankle. Making you open your eyes, you saw Kylian with towel around his waist, his eyes glued to yours.

You smile at him. "Hi." you whisper.

He smiles, shaking his head no. He wants to tease you, make you feel desperate. He takes his times changing. Picking carefully the boxers he would use.

You can tell what his plan is, and it's working.

He walks over to you. Sitting on the chair that's on the corner of his bedroom. "Mon cher, Y/n." he smiles mischievously. "What brings you here tonight?"

Your eyes are glued to his, you won't look down at his body.

You have to be strong.

"Don't you have a tshirt?" you ask, making him smile.

"I have tons." he points with his head towards the closet. "But the one I normally use to sleep is the one that you are wearing."

You blush, looking down at the shirt you took from him. "Oh" you say.

You look back at him, noticing how his grin is bigger. "You were saying?"

You sigh, knowing he's not going to give in. You sat back on the bed.

"I want to apologize, what I said was very out of line." you began. "I didn't meant to ever made you feel like I was shaming you for your previous sex life. Neither meant to doubt your loyalty to me."

He looks at you in the eyes. He can tell that you are being honest.

"What trigger your reaction?" he asks. "Was it something that I said in the past? Anything you read online about me?"

"No." you shake your head. "You know how my mom works at this clinic?" you ask him, making him nod. "Well, since I was a kid she told me about how girls that came there had all these problems. They came thinking it was a normal cold and ended up being something else, because their partners were sleeping around. And that made me feel like I needed to be extra careful with all."

"Even with me." he says low. He was saying that more to himself.

"You are the second person I've been with." you say, crawling to the edge of the bed, near the chair. "I felt so much pressure, my mom kept telling me about how I needed to be careful, that football players were always around. And not that I don't trust you, I do. But-"

"But you wanted to be sure you were safe." he finishes your sentence.

You nod, "I trust you, Ky. I do."

He stands up, opening his arms to you. He wraps his arms around your figure, embracing you into a much needed hug.

You inhale his scent, feeling better now that you explained everything to him. Not caring that load of always being alert.

"I'm sorry I was pushy about the subject. It wasn't nice of me."

"No, it's ok-"

"It's not." He interrupts you. "You asked me to drop it, and I kept talking.

He separates from the hug, walking over to his nightstand. He opens the drawer, taking an envelope.

He hands you the envelope. You take it with curiosity. Checking it to know what is it.

He did the test for you.

He wanted you to trust him. Even if that took a small medical check and blood test.

"I know now that it's not because you don't trust me, but because you are protecting yourself." He says, going back into the embrace.

"You didn't have to." You smile at him. "Thank you."

"If that's what it takes to make my girl know that I'm only hers, then I'll do anything."

You grab his cheeks, kissing him.

You missed the taste of him. The way his lips felt against yours. How his warm temperature mix with yours.

"I'm willing to try if you are." You smile, pecking him.

He smiles at you. The way his eyes got a little dark. You separate from him. Putting your arms in the air for him to take your shirt off.

"Je t'aime." He says, kissing your lips before taking the fabric off of you.

You kiss him to shut him up, pushing him down the mattress with you. "Show me how much."