#Answering this making me realize yet again I should probably have more confidence in myself haha

[starlightazriel]

bee 2

desc: (fem reader) modern au best friends to lovers, roommate az, angsty + smutty, multiple parts (not sure how many yet at least 5)

warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol abuse, reader being self concious, jealous az, SEXUAL TENSIonnn, sex dream

wc: 4.1k

other parts will be found on my azriel masterlist

two

I was completely mortified. I could hear Azriel getting ready for the beach in the morning, and no matter how badly I had to pee I refused to exit my room. There was no way I could face him yet.

I hadn't even known how long he had been standing there. Had he heard me moan his name?

I watched my door, listening waiting to hear the front door swing shut. I see darkness under my door and i bite my lip knowing he's standing on the other side.

Don't knock, don't knock, don't knock.

The house was so quiet I could hear him sigh before walking away from my door and I finally heard the front door close.

My phone chimes a moment later as I walk to the bathroom and my stomach churns when I see Azriels name pop up on the screen. i know you worked late i didn't want to wake you up. you gonna come out to the house when you get up?

I swallowed locking my phone again, I'd respond later.

I couldn't stop thinking about what was going through Azriels head. He was probably judging me. I used the bathroom and went back to my room, staring at myself in the mirror. I felt so ashamed, what kind of person just did that in someone else's bed?

I groaned to myself falling back on my bed pressing my hands into my face. He probably thought that I was obsessed with him now. 'your bed is comfortable?' Thats what I had come up with?

And the women he hooked up with? The ones he would meet in bars or bring home from clubs... They just weren't like me. Even though he never really had anything serious except once or twice, his ex girlfriends? All older than him, seasoned, sometimes even married.

It had been near impossible to focus on any homework or studying I hadn't texted Azriel back, hoping he would just leave it alone thinking I was just busy with school work.

My phone chimes with another text, the afternoon sun was peeking through my curtains, I knew I should get up and get out of the house.

kats looking for you. you should get outside you been in all day.

i have a lot of homework azriel I squinted, looking down at the text I had just sent. Since when did I become so formal with him?

please..for me?

My heart leapt and I read the words over and over, pulling my lip between my teeth. Another message popped up.

and for kat? she's begging over my shoulder and she wants me to tell you her phones dead and that's why she hasn't called herself

I sighed softly, that seems more like it, not for Azriel. For Kat, who probably was telling him what to say.

Kat and I had been fast friends ever since Rhys hired her into the shop, she was an aspiring tattoo artist working out her days at the front desk until she was ready to start her apprenticeship. Our friend ship was easy, she was one of the first female friends that I had ever had in my life that I actually trusted.

She sort of knew about my feelings for Azriel, maybe not the extent, but she knew. It wasnt that hard for anyone to figure it out with the way that I looked at him. Anyone except for him, I guessed. Kat had blatantly asked me about it one day, I remembered blushing furiously and staring down at my drink which had been answer enough for her. She pushed me to make a move for a while and eventually gave up, realizing that I would never grow the confidence or the balls to actually do anything about it.

okay give me twenty I finally responded after a long few minutes of debating wether or not I could handle that right now after what had happened yesterday. It had barely even been twenty four hours.

I shake my head, looking at myself in the mirror again, I looked horrible. My hair was messy and I had dark circles under my eyes from working late and not being able to sleep.

I at least had to shower and blow dry my hair. I couldn't show up looking like this. Even if the fate that awaited me was bound to be relentless torture until I was back in the safe confines of my room. Would Azriel even speak to me in person? I wasnt sure I wanted him to, the embarrassment of what he had caught me doing was enough let alone the fact that he had now seen me completely naked. In broad daylight at that. I didnt look like the thinner taller women that Az usually went for, so when I fantasized about what our first time could be like, the lights were always off.

"You're an idiot," I told my reflection, freshly showered and at least a little more presentable. I put on my cream colored string bikini, some shorts, and tied a hoodie around my shoulders, knowing that soon it would be cold on the beach with the evening approaching, I wouldn't stay that long, but just in case. "Azriels probably going to disown you and kick you out of his apartment as soon as he realizes youre a creepy little fuck that's obsessed with him," I added, grimacing at my expression. "And now youre an idiot who's talking to yourself," I groaned again, wishing I could be anywhere else, or anybody else.

-

"Where's your mind been at today?" Rhys asks, plopping down in the sand next to Azriel on the outskirts of the group. They had a fire going the group was lively, Kat dancing to the music that Rhys had put on, Cassian watching, a beer in hand talking to Riley, their newest tattoo artist at the shop. Cass and Azriel himself weren't exactly a fan of the guest artist but what Rhys said they had to go with, as the owner of the shop, he always had the final say. Azriel shrugged, taking a long sip of his drink, his eyes flicking to Rhys.

"Just didnt sleep much," he responds, leaning back into the sand.

"Y/n!" Kat screams then, Azriels eyes land on Bee in the distance, Kat running for her full bore. He swallowed hard watching as they stop a little ways from the outskirts of the rest of the group, his eyes raking over Bees body clad in a little bikini. Her eyes land on his too, for a moment, they quickly dart nervously back to Kat. Azriel wondered what she was thinking, he wondered if she would approach him or ignore him all night.

"The fucking tits on her, you pierced those Cass? What kind of nipples does she have?" Rileys voice interrupted Azriels thoughts and he felt his mouth go dry, his entire body tensing.

"Careful," Cassian warned him, knowing exactly how Azriel could be when anyone disrespected Bee, but now it felt different for Azriel. It wasnt just about feeling the need to protect her, he felt... Jealous. "You know that's classified, client confidentiality," Cass smirked and his eyes drifted over to Azriel who was now completely seething. Who the fuck did Riley even think he was?

"She's off limits," Azriel simply says, trying to mask his tone the best he could from the growl that threatened to slip out.

"Says who, you? She's grown," Riley rises to his feet to greet the pair. Azriel can't bring himself to peel his eyes away.

"I'll fuck him up Rhys," Azriel threatened, his beer forgotten in the sand as he watched the three of them closely.

"I got a good lawyer for you when you do," Cass snickers softly, standing to grab himself another beer from the cooler.

"No ones fighting," Rhys says, glancing between the two of them before rolling his eyes. "Why you so touchy tonight Az?" he just shakes his head, trying his best to tear his eyes away.

"I told you, Im just tired," he stood up, brushing the sand off of himself and advances to monitor the situation.

-

No, no, no no. Don't come over here. Not so soon. I felt like I was going to pass out when I saw Azriel advancing toward us. Kat was annoyed by Rileys approach because she had been trying to figure out why I showed up so late and to ask what had happened yesterday because all I had done was send her 'I need to go live under a rock and die' without any further explanation.

"Bee, you finally left your homework," Azriel speaks, standing directly next to Riley who he'd interrupted, not that I had been listening, I had been internally panicked about this exact moment.

"Well- I um- yeah I got what I needed to done," I lied awkwardly, struggling to get a single word out underneath Az's blatant stare. When had he ever looked at me like that? My gut churned at the thought of what he might actually be thinking. Kat looked between the two of us, squinting, her lips pursing together slightly. She knew she had missed something. He glanced at Riley, annoyance flashing in his eyes and then back at me, I could tell he wanted to say something.

"I can tell you are both dying to get her alone, but I need her first," Kats words had me blushing furiously. Both of them? Dying to get me alone? What was she even thinking? Riley maybe, as he always seemed to flirt with me anytime I would drop by the shop or find myself hanging out with them when Kat or Azriel gave me an invite. But I was almost positive the last thing that Azriel wanted was to be alone with me, maybe to tell me to pack my shit and go. I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of telling her to shut up but she was dragging me away toward the house, away from the beach and the fire they had going. I wondered what the guys were saying, glancing over my shoulder as we walked toward the wrap around porch overlooking the beach. Azriel and Riley were standing there talking now, it looked heated.

"What's going on with you two? Azriel has barely said a word all day and you can't even look him in the face when he shows up," she eyes me, a small smirk threatening at her lips. "You finally fucked him didnt you?" her smirk breaks out in a grin and I pale slightly, falling back into one of the patio chairs.

"I wish. It's bad," I groan, pressing my hands into my face. I didnt even know how to tell her what had happened. I knew it would sound so much worse out loud.

"Im dying to know, you have to tell me," she giggles quietly, her already bubbly voice enhanced with her drunken state.

"He caught me using my vibrator in his room Kat. Im fucking done for," my voice is so quiet that if it wasnt for her laugh I would have thought she didnt even hear me.

"Girl that's crazy. Shit, you have more balls than I thought, maybe more than me," her hand flies to her mouth, my cheeks warm with embarrassment.

"Kat its not funny. I just single handedly destroyed any chance I ever have for him to see me as anything more than the stupid little immature little girl that hes always had to look after," my face is covered by my hands again, and I suddenly wished that I had never even come here.

"You never know y/n," Kat said and I pulled my hands away to look at her. "Maybe this will finally make him realize how much of a woman you've grown into," she added, I swallowed, considering as I looked out to the beach and the water, the boys were sitting around the fire smoking now, laughter could be heard in the distance but I didnt hear Azriels and I paled when I noticed him walking toward the house.

"Hes coming," Kat squeaks out giggling softly and standing up.

"Don't leave me here," I begged quietly, it felt like a rock was forming in the pit of my stomach. She only flashed me a devilish grin before turning around.

"Oh good Az, you can keep y/n company while I get our drinks," Kat threw me one more glance and winked in encouragement, I threw her daggers in response and I suddenly felt naked as Azriel took a seat across from me. The air was cooler now, the sunset quickly approaching. Azriels eyes flicked to my chest, my nipples showing through the thin fabric and his throat bobbed his eyes quickly flicking to mine and I averted my gaze. I couldn't remember him ever looking at me this much.

"Hey," he cleared his throat, and I look at him again, hes blushing. Maybe he was just as embarrassed as I was.

"Um hi," I smile weakly, a blush creeping onto my own cheeks, it was unbearably awkward and I would have to get back at Kat for this some way later.

"So..." he started and I silently begged to any existing higher power to please not let him bring up yesterday. "Are you going to tell me why you were in my room?" he finally said, and I felt my gut reel, wishing a hole would open in the earth beneath me and swallow me up. I shifted in my seat, our eyes met again and there was something new there but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I told you... Your bed is comfortable," my voice is strained and I felt hot, I wished for him to stop looking at me like that. I couldn't handle his intense stare, I fought the urge to put my hoodie on. He raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his seat, amusement twinkled in his eyes.

"So that's what youre going with?" he cocked his head slightly, tipping his chin up. He was drunk maybe a little high too, I could tell by the way he carried himself, the slight slur in his words.

"I-" I started but couldn't find anything to say, heat pooled in my core at the sight of him, the way his jaw flexed slightly as he waited for my response. "Yeah," I finally mumbled pathetically, he stares his eyes not leaving me I could tell he wanted to ask more questions, wanted to continue.

"What did Riley want?" he then asks, my brows draw together in confusion but I'm grateful for the subject change.

"Riley? Oh, um, there's a piece Ive been wanting to get done and hes only charging me materials we were just talking about it," I swallow, he squints slightly, clearly it was the first he had heard about this, I was sure Riley would have said something.

"Why? You don't want me to do it?" He asked then, an edge in his tone now, a challenge. I swallowed before opening my mouth, and then closing it. My cheeks were blazing as I uncomfortably shifted in my chair, I didnt know how to feel about the air between us. It felt suffocating.

-

"I- Its just in kind of an intimate place, I didnt think you would want to," Bee finally said, she was fidgeting nervously with her fingers, eyes kept darting to his and then away again.

"An intimate place?" Azriel asked slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly, his spine straightened at the thought of Riley tattooing her, his hands on her. It made him sick.

"Come on guys," Kat interrupted, Azriels eyes flickered to her, annoyance written on his face. He made a mental note to further investigate when he was at the shop the next day. "Drunk never have I ever, Rhys brought a bottle," she giggles and grabs Bees hand, Azriel stands to follow them.

"What are we, twelve?" Azriel asked and rolled his eyes as he follows them back to the group, he watched Bee closely as she pulled her hoodie over her body. He was secretly relieved since he hadn't been able to tear his eyes off of her since she had arrived.

"Oh shut up, it will be fun," Kat says as they approached the group, all finding seats around the fire in the sand. Rhys poured a cup of tequila for every one of them, Azriel smiled seeing Bee out of the corner of his vision, sniffing the liquor and scrunching her nose in distaste. They began playing, quickly all becoming quite drunk, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Bee, he wondered if she noticed. She would just blush and look away every time.

Azriel had to give it to Kat, it was entertaining. They were also certainly learning new things about each other. It was dark now, the only light from the fire and the moon, the waves lapped gently against the beach, and it was kind of peaceful.

"Never have I ever had a threesome," Riley said, Azriels eyes flicked to Bee, she didn't drink, neither did Kat. He took a small sip and her eyes widened slightly but she quickly looked away from him, Rhys and Cass also drank and Riley smirked at the two women. "Maybe we can go fix that for all three of us," he said smoothly, licking over his lip, his eyes were fixed on Bee who was blushing furiously now, Azriel tensed, his grip tightening on his cup.

"Oh shut up, y/n and I could find someone so much hotter to have a threesome with," Kat giggles softly, gently nudging her with her shoulder. "Az, its your turn, you have to go," everyone turned to him expectantly, he shrugged, his eyebrows raising slightly as he tried to think of something to say, he had skipped his last two turns.

"Never have I ever fell in love," he finally said, Bees eyes flicked to him and she looked at him curiously, she took a small sip from her cup along with everyone else. "Guess Im the only one."

"You have no heart," Cass snickered, earning a dirty look from Azriel.

"Or youre all just soft," he said back before beginning to roll himself a spliff, Rhys laughed and shook his head. Azriel couldn't help but wonder which one of Bees dumbass ex boyfriends she had been in love with. There was only a couple, he hadn't approved of either of them at the time. "Bee?" Rhys asked then, watching her expectantly, she shrugs looking up to the sky as if it would give her an answer.

"Never have I ever got off from head?" Bee finally says before looking back at the group, everyone took a sip from their cup. Azriels eyes fixed on her now, and he was chewing the inside of his lip, the spliff he had been rolling finished on his lap now. He imagined fixing that for her, he imagined his lips and his tongue all over her body, the sound of her moans filling the room. What the fuck was wrong with him? The thought made his pants feel just the slightest bit tighter.

"That's a sad life, I can fix that one for you too," Riley chimed in, a smirk plastered on his face. Azriel squinted, cleared his throat, his chin tilting up in Rileys direction. Bee was blushing, her eyes fixed on Azriel now.

"No ones fixing anything for anyone," Azriel shrugged, picking up his spliff finally to light it. He noticed Kat looking between him and Bee an excited light in her eyes, what was that about?

"Never have I ever got caught or caught someone masturbating!" Kat chimes out, Bees face goes completely pale and then red a second later before she looks at Kat a horrified expression on her face. They both drank from their cups, eyes only meeting for a split second. She told Kat about what happened? Big mistake.

"So that's why it's been so weird between you two," Cass is snickering from the corner. "I have to ask though, who caught who?" he adds and Bee rose to her feet, quickly, dusting the sand off.

"Bathroom," she manages to get out before she whirled on the group and started walking quickly back toward the house.

"Well that wasnt awkward at all," Cass laughs again, looking back to Kat. Azriel rolled his eyes, dusting the sand off of his clothes as he stands as well.

"Nice one Kat," Azriel growled quietly, she threw her hands up in defense, apologizing quietly. Azriel didnt really care what they would say after he walked away, that didnt really matter. He just wanted to check on her.

He found Bee pacing back and forth in the kitchen nervously and he leaned against the door frame, watching her curiously. He didnt understand his new found interest in his best friend. She had always just been his best friend Bee...

"It's normal you know," he finally spoke, causing her to almost jump out of her skin.

"Can you stop sneaking up on me?!" she demanded, holding her hand to her chest before relaxing. "Yeah, it's normal but not in your roommates room," she added, Azriels lips twitched, a smile threatening at them.

"You wanna go home?" he asked, changing the subject, he gestured toward the front hall of the house that lead to the front door. She relaxed again, looked toward the window out at the group.

"What are they gonna say?" she bit her lip, looking back at Azriel who drew his brows together.

"Bee, we live together, remember? It's normal for us to leave together."

-

Azriel advanced, dropping to his knees in front of his bed before her. Bee looked down at him with her big doe eyes, her lips parting in surprise. She whispered his name softly, holding her vibrator to her clit, it buzzed softly and he pushed her legs open more, his fingers gently squeezing the soft skin of her inner thighs. He groaned softly, dipping his head between her legs and gently lapping up her wetness. She moaned his name again, her voice breaking slightly, her free hand found his hair as her body shook gently beneath him, he knocked the toy away, his lips wrapping around her clit and he sucked on her soft skin, moaning against her at the taste, she cried out again, Azriels name leaving her lips-

Azriel woke to the sound of his alarm and he rolled over, groaning and smashing his hand onto the beeping alarm clock.

"Fucking hell," he breathed, his head absolutely pounding from the amount they had drank last night. His cock ached, completely rock solid from the dream he was having. He rubbed his face, rising to his feet. He knew he had too many early clients to take care of that now, when was the last time he even had a fucking wet dream? High school?

Azriel exited his room to go have a cold shower, Bee smacked into him instantly, their bodies colliding, Azriel held her arms to steady her, their eyes meeting. He rose his eyebrows, usually she was in class on Mondays by now. Or on her way at least. Her lips were slightly parted, cheeks flushed deeply as she looked up at him, he could feel his morning wood throbbing between them. "Late?" he finally speaks, his voice husky from sleep. She seems to snap out of it, shaking her head slightly pulling away, he doesn't miss her eyes widen when they settle on his hard cock that was pressed against his boxers. His cheeks warm as he wondered what she was thinking.

"Y-yes," she stuttered, peeling her eyes away from him finally, her eyes flicking back up to his face. "I'll see you later," she choked out before all but running out of the apartment.

Azriel sighed quietly, missing how easy it had been between them only days ago. He couldn't look at her without wanting to rip her clothes off, he couldn't talk to her alone without her dying to get away, he couldn't even be in his bed without being reminded of her in his bed.

Azriel decided that best friends or not, he would be the one to take care of her next time she needed a roll in the sheets. Maybe then they could act normal, maybe the awkwardness would dissipate. Maybe there was just a weird tension between them now that could be fixed by them fucking.

He had to get rid of his new found curiosity some way. It felt wrong even thinking like that, but he needed to know now. She wasnt just Bee anymore, she was fucking hot, and he didnt understand how he had never even noticed before.

-

a/n: sorry this took so long!! not proof read yet so if you see mistakes lmk <3 comment to be tagged in the next part

[justagingerwithredhair]

The Blue Moon Ball: Midnight

I catch my breath and scan the ballroom for Lurien. If my visions were accurate, I'm looking for an eleven figure wearing extravagant celestial clothes and winged accessories. As I search, my focus narrows to a point. Come on... come on... You must be somewhere here. Wait! I think I see him! Oh... oh wow... he is absolutely tearing it up on the dance floor. A crowd is beginning to form around him. This is perfect. I'll work my way back down and--

ACK! I instinctively turn around to the source of the my startle. My eyes behold a giant grandfather clock sounding off. The golden figure towers above me. Inside, a pendulum that looks like a model solar system swings to and fro as cogs of all shapes and sizes whirl and spin, moving the hands from 11:00 to 12:00. Heavens above, that almost had my heart lurch from my chest! Midnight already? I can't believe time is moving this fast. I turn my gaze back towards the ballroom and see the crowd funneling out into the halls again. Wait... no no no no no where are they all going?! Damn it! I lost sight of Lurien! I'm never going to get my questions answered, am I? I put my back against the wall and slink into a ball. This night has been a disaster. As I wallow in my despair, a gentle breeze brushes my cheeks. It looks like a balcony door was left open. The night sky is clear as ever and inviting me outside. I need some fresh air.

Stepping out onto the balcony, I imminently find comfort under the stars. My night may be a wreck, but at least they're here to light it up once more. I stride to the balcony's stone rail and lean against it, focusing on the glittering night sky. The Star... the seventeenth card of the major arcana. It's indicative of hope, guidance, creativity, clarity, and confidence. Hah, funny, that sounds like everything I'm lacking at the moment. And then we have the moon, bright and blue tonight. That sounds more like me. I may have dressed myself to the nines but that doesn't make my mood any better. The Moon... the eighteenth card of the major arcana. It's indicative of anxieties, repressed feelings, deception, indecision, and confusion. Wow. I was right on. If this sky were made to mock me, it's doing a phenomenal job. Ugh, look at me, thinking every little thing in the world is a sign about me. How utterly selfish. Tonight was supposed to be a community event and yet I still expertly weave it into a sob story all about myself. Maybe I should just leave. It's not like the party will be missing me. The only impact I've managed to make tonight was knocking people over and almost recreating Phantom of the Opera. Yep... that's me: Seros, master wizard of the long lost magic of walking disaster transmutation.

I focus on the stars once again. A comet scrapes by, leaving a brilliant while trail. I suppose there is a silver lining. One: I got out of my study for once. I didn't realize how often I chained myself to my desk until I stretched my legs and traveled here. Two: I got to explore one of the most beautiful venue's I've ever seen in my life. I can tell no expense was spared. This is truly a miraculous site. Three: I got to at least speak with someone that isn't Ivory (no offense Ivory, I love you so much). I also tried dancing! In retrospect, I think that could have been a grand time if I just lived in the moment. I should probably keep myself grounded next time as well...

Perhaps this night isn't as disastrous as I thought. But I can't help but think I'm missing something. Ah! I know! I can do a reading! The location is perfect and I'm at a loss of what else could be wrong with me, so I'll give it a shot. I seat myself on the ground. After situating my deck in front of me, I begin to meditate on my question. Once I have it firmly in mind, I take my left hand and place it on the first card and ask:

"What am I missing?"

As I go to reveal the card, a piercing pang strikes my stomach. A low and thunderous gurgle sounds. Oh... I think I know what's wrong. When was the last time I had food? In fact, have I eaten since I arrived? OOOOOOoooooh... this explains a lot. I'm down in the dumps and kicking myself because I'm hungry. I pack up my deck and stand back up. That reminds me, wasn't there supposed to be a feast later tonight? I think there was an itinerary attached to my invite. I summon the letter once again and, would you look at that! It seems dinner follows the dance! That would explain why everyone left upon the clock striking midnight. Wait! If everyone is gathering in one place, then Lurien will surely be at the table soon. This could be the chance I've been looking for all night. I can sit with him and finally ask all my questions. There are mysteries in these halls and I still have half a night to solve them. No time like the present! I make my way back inside, but not before giving the night sky one last look of admiration. I give a farewell to the lights above and journey towards the dining hall. First, I should feed myself. Then, I ask questions. Off I go!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What are some things you think about a lot, more than most other things you think

I'm thinking about this right now, and it seems like the answer is "whether or not I am a good person." It's hard to put into words how much that bothers me. There are some people who seem to feel very confident in their own moral bona fides. But I just don't see myself as one of those people. Even though I know there are plenty of things I do well (both in terms of being nice and friendly toward other humans and also just in terms of general life competence) . . . there is always something that looks bad when you look at yourself. And even if you try really hard to fix your flaws, they keep coming back; so you have this sense of having been through cycles of self-improvement and then regression, over and over again, for years on end. At least it feels that way to me, but maybe others experience this less acutely? [EDIT: actually, after writing all this, I think there may be more than two options here -- either people genuinely feel good about themselves, which means they never notice all these flaws, or else they mostly notice them, but can somehow find ways to cope with them without getting too depressed.]

This sounds pathetic and whiny, but it's really true! Some of my friends have told me that I often come off as arrogant or conceited because I tend to talk about what I believe in strongly, and that makes it sound like I don't care what anyone else thinks. And while that's probably true, I feel terrible when people tell me this. Especially since my strongest opinions aren't on subjects where there's any real controversy anyway. They're usually about stuff no one cares about, or issues everyone agrees upon, or a weird mix of both. So it seems like my only excuse would be that I'm an idiot who doesn't realize he has nothing interesting to say, except that I do get some positive feedback from time to time, so I guess I must really be that big an idiot. Or I could try to become someone whose beliefs line up perfectly with the prevailing wisdom, thereby becoming uninterestingly conventional. Which would be bad enough, but worse still would be to have a reputation as a screwup among people who think conventionally. Not sure why I haven't done anything like that yet. Maybe I've tried, and failed, because I simply cannot stop talking about myself. That was probably what made college so torturous -- I spent most of my social interactions trying to figure out whether I had said something stupid or insulting, or if it was just that my conversational partners were awkward/unwilling to make conversation. I didn't want to ask them directly whether they disliked me or thought I was dumb, because I wanted to maintain plausible deniability. In hindsight, I wish I had asked straight out whether I seemed annoying or anything. Then again, I wouldn't trust anyone's answers to such questions, given the times I misread intentions and ended up saying something wrong.

Anyway, I should clarify that this isn't really a complaint post. Just an observation about a pattern that runs throughout my life. My natural state is to feel like a loser, and every once in a while this feeling becomes intense enough to cause pain and grief, but basically this is normalcy for me, in the same way that walking

[mindsoccupiedwithheaven]

On lunch, saddles, and solidarity.

TLDR: We are not alone in our most secret worries and fears. Everyone feels insecure in themselves, even as they project confidence and capability. Acknowledge that, and own it. Everyone should have a safe place to fail and person to learn from. Lean on each other.

Four days ago, I took a deep, deep breath and ate lunch with my friends of a year ago. My friends? I suppose they were. We worked together and they were always infinitely kind. So why was I so nervous?

I am capable of the work here, or at least capable of learning. I can post a trot and muddle my way through a drive or a jingle. I can shoe. I can learn to brand and fix and even work cattle, if need be. I have done it before and I can do it again. So why was I so nervous?

I feel behind. While technically in my second year, I arrived late and missed the preseason "training" of last year. It sucks, and it's embarrassing to feel behind. These are things I want to be good at, and I'm not yet. So I swallowed my pride and asked dumb questions, even ones I should already know the answers to, ones I knew the answers to last year. I asked for people to check my saddling, knots, posture. I thanked people profusely for their help. And in the process, I learned that I was not the only one. Mathilda reminded me how to tie my knots, and told me that she, too, had forgotten how to after her first season. Helen told me that she hadn't ridden in nine months either. And these women are my bosses!

I continued to admit my insecurities, tactfully. After I realized I was not the only one, I would quietly thank people when they mentioned their similar feelings: "thank you so much for sharing that, Ava. It makes me feel a lot less alone". I realized other people probably felt just as alone in their perceived incompetence as I did, even (especially) those "supposed" to know more than me. I hoped that in turn, by owning myself, I could help them.

Plus, people like to help. Helping and teaching wiling people always makes me feel more competent in skills, and I am hoping to help others feel similarly by asking questions that can be answered and asking for all the help they can give me. I want this to be a two way street.

I was invited to go out tonight with the group. I have overcome (some) fear of incompetence and allowed myself in, just as I am, even though I do not know everything. I think people like me more this way, now that I'm owning it. I hope I can help them do the same.

Just take care of each other, and know you are never alone.

[oishirecipe]

Hai mikhael what is FASHION that u like ? Both what u wear and what you just like to see on other people

Oooo this is kinda hard I like basically everything . This is so long and incoherent I'm sorry but here you go

On myself /what I wear is hard because I don't dress special , at all . In fact my outfits are extremely boring I have neither the money or confidence to wear what I want . Though I've always had an interest in more old school and mild cute gyaru , namely amekaji , himegyaru , kogal (who doesn't like kogal honestly , so cute and simple and iconic) . Things like this , this , this , and this are like , my forever ideal .

I do enjoy wearing more masculine styles too , I've always taken stuff from Tyler , The Creator , Cherry Bomb and OF era merch , anything he wore during 2017-2019 I was into . Also anything the Beastie Boys have ever worn I've probably tried to poorly emulate . Also very into what A$AP Rocky (another) and 2017/cash Carti had going on . Mild lolita of all kinds is always good in my book . I love anything and everything cute . Everything I have saved in here is like ideal for how'd I like to dress plus the rappers I've mentioned . I'm also kinda a sneakerhead LOL . Jordan 1 Banned are forever what I want ....

For what I like drawing and on other people , it's basically everything I've mentioned but like , x10 . In general I don't think I'm well fitted for extra things and anything that stands out , so I guess I just live vicariously through people lmfao . Darkwear can really look good on some people , same with lolita , if I saw someone pretty in any dress on the metamorphose website , I'd go insane . I also love what Carti's been wearing as of late , if I'm more interested in personally wearing what he had going on Cash Carti time .

I also LOVE idol/more on stage-y outfits . I love how big all of BabymetaI's outfits always have been , I absolutely fucking LOVED these outfits at Tokyo Dome 2010 , some of my absolute favorites . The LED Spring of Life outfits are also forever my favorites Perfume has ever had . Also whatever Toshiko has going on , it's perfect and cute . It's why I seem to dislike most kpop outfits as of late , I don't like how much they just feel like flat out fashion than on-stage/performance outfits .

Nothing inherently wrong with it , I just prefer it when performers perform in outfits that feel that they're well , meant to be performed in . I also love the suits Tyler wore in IGOR , he made the suit + sunglasses + blond bowlcut wig thing look so , SO good I could never do that .

Conclusion . Everything I have in here/ here /here on myself and Literally Everything Else Ever on other people .

[sluttywonwoo]

adante, andante || j.ww x reader

Summary: when in greece… you lose your virginity to your best friend?? that’s how the saying goes, right??? (based off of the song andante, andante from mamma mia! here we go again)

Warnings: swearing, smut

Word Count: 3.1k

Masterlist

Waves lapped at the side of the boat gently as it rocked on the salty Mediterranean Sea, tugging at its anchor deep below the surface. The blazing sun was warming everything it touched, you included, and if it wasn’t for what was happening on top of the boat right now it probably would have lulled you to sleep a long time ago.

Wonwoo was laying in between your legs, leaving wistful kisses along your neck and collarbone. You moaned lowly and turned your head to the side to give him more access as he continued to explore your body with his mouth and hands. He pulled at your bikini straps with his teeth playfully as you tangled your hands in his still-damp curls.

“Wonwoo,” you panted breathlessly, not wanting to stop but knowing you had to.

“Hm?” He looked up eagerly, lips pinker than usual, warm brown eyes darker than you’d ever seen them.

“I- you know I’m a virgin, right?”

Your best friend swallowed and then nodded hesitantly. “Shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I should’ve realized.”

You weren’t quite sure what to say. “I, um, just thought you should know.”

He nodded again and wiped his hands on his swim trunks nervously. “Yeah, no thanks for telling me. I was being stupid I shouldn’t have-“

“No, I liked it,” you blurted, perhaps a little too quickly.

Wonwoo chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, looking you up and down. You noted with a hint of a smile how even though his hair was wet, curls still stuck out in the back.

“I liked it too.”

“We… don’t have to stop,” you said softly.

Wonwoo raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise at the offer. “Are you sure?”

“Only if you want to.”

His eyes darkened and he grinned, suddenly much more confident than he had been a few moments ago.  “Oh, I want to.”

You smiled and lounged back on the deck as he leaned forward over you and pressed his lips to yours once again. He tasted like salt and champagne, with just a hint of orange juice. An odd combination, but addicting nonetheless.

You wondered if the mimosas you had shared earlier lingered on your lips too, or if the salt water overpowered it and had erased any trace of the fruity drinks.

Wonwoo thrust his hips up against you ever so slightly and you whined into another kiss, silently begging him to do it again. It wasn’t much, but the tiny bit of friction the movement did offer was delicious and you needed more of it.

As if he could read your mind, he repeated the motion, deeper this time so that the two of you were flush against each other. The only thing that separated you for that brief moment was the fabric of your swimsuits.

You could feel him through his shorts, already half hard. You ached to touch him, to make him feel good, but nerves held you back. You’d never done any of this after all- well you’d tried blowing your ex-boyfriend once in a parking lot after a movie, but you choked. Literally. You had been completely unprepared and ended up nearly throwing up on his dick after going too far, too fast. After that, you swore you’d never try it ever again, but now your mouth was watering at the thought of having Wonwoo in your mouth. Still, you weren’t sure if you had the courage.

“Fuck.”

“What is it, love?” Wonwoo asked, lifting his head. His eyes still held that same intensity, but his expression betrayed a touch of concern.

“Keep doing that,” you gasped.

“What, this?” he asked and thrust toward you again.

“Yes.”

Wonwoo chuckled.

“What?”

“Nothing!”

“No, why are you laughing?” You pouted.

“Because we’re just- I mean we’re dry humping, essentially,” he explained. “You haven’t seen anything yet, baby.” He reached a hand behind your back and pulled the remaining string that was holding your bikini top up loose. “I mean, if I’m making you feel this good now, imagine what I can do when I’m actually touching you.”

Somewhere along the line your best friend’s goofy demeanor had fallen away and been replaced with this cocky attitude and you didn’t mind one bit.

You let the hand that was still holding your bikini to your chest fall to the side, and with it the top.

“Jesus Christ,” Wonwoo mumbled to himself as he stared.

You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, you’ve seen boobs before.”

“Not yours.”

You wanted to roll your eyes again, ask him how often that line worked on other girls, but truth be told it was working like a fucking charm on you. You had to look away and bite your lip to keep from smiling like an idiot.

Wonwoo reached out and trailed a finger down your now-exposed chest in awe. He brought his hand back up and ever so lightly brushed the tip of his thumb over one of your nipples, repeating the motion with more pressure when you moaned his name.

His breath caught in his throat as your nipples perked under his fingers, pinching them gently. He lowered his head down to your chest and replaced one of the hands on your tits with his mouth.

You whimpered and arched up toward him as he nipped at your sensitive skin with his teeth, sending tingles down your spine.

You had never been touched like this by anybody. You’d given yourself a hand (or rather, a couple of fingers) before, of course, but it was nothing compared to this.

Wonwoo’s hands traveled down to your waist where the hem of your bathing suit bottoms rested on your hips. He tugged at them impatiently.

“Lift up for me, baby,” he ordered softly.

You did as you were told and let him take them off. He twirled them around on a finger, smirking at you before tossing them off to the side.

“Idiot,” you scoffed.

“You know you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

He paused for a second, almost like he was surprised by your answer, but shook it off. His gaze traveled down your body to between your legs and locked there.

“Shit, y/n,” he gulped.

“What? What is it?” you asked nervously, hoping he wasn’t seeing something he didn’t like. Maybe not all pussies looked like that- but no, you’d watched porn before. That couldn’t be it. “Wonwoo?” you tried again, nudging him with your knee.

“Sorry.” He blinked and looked back up at you. “You just, you’re really…”

“Use your words, Wonwoo,” you teased.

“I really wanna taste you,” he admitted weakly, then cleared his throat to compose himself. “But we can do that another time. I don’t want to push you, especially since it’s your first time.”

You just nodded along as his words echoed in your head.

I really wanna taste you.

Another time.

He’d want to do this again? He’d want you again?

“I’m gonna start with two fingers, okay?”

Wonwoo’s voice snapped you out of your daze and you focused back in on him holding his middle and ring finger up for you to see.

“Okay.” Your voice wavered as you spoke.

“I’ll go slow,” he promised.

You stared at the clouds above you and took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. You flinched when you felt him touch you for the first time. He froze and looked back up at your face to gauge your reaction.

“Sorry,” you whispered hoarsely.

“Don’t apologize,” he chuckled. “Fuck, y/n, you’re so wet,” he said and held up his hand so that you could see your own arousal glistening on his fingers in the sunlight.

You squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “I’m sorry!”

“What did I just say about apologizing?” “S-” Wonwoo glared at you, knowing you were about to apologize for apologizing. “Force of habit,” you mumbled.

“Never apologize for being turned on. It’s hot,” he said and brought his fingers up to his mouth. You thought back to a few seconds ago when he said he was desperate to taste you and watched as he licked your wetness off of his hand. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“What did you just say about apologizing?” you mocked, unable to say anything else about the comment he just made.

He rolled his eyes at you like he always did, but positioned his hand at your entrance anyway. He leaned down to kiss you again as he finally slid the two fingers into you. You moaned in relief at the feeling.

Wonwoo kept his fingers in place, letting you adjust to having them inside of you. You kind of wanted him to keep them there forever, not moving, just like they were, but you knew he was getting impatient too.

You moved your hips a little, signaling him to move as well and he was happy to oblige. He went slow, like he had promised, moving his fingers in a “come hither” motion.

“Fuck,” you gasped and let your head fall back. “Fuck, Wonwoo, please.”

“Please what?”

“Please…” you trailed off, your thoughts too jumbled to form a coherent sentence.

Your best friend took mercy on you and curled his fingers up further, pushing into you all the way to his knuckles. You cried out when he brushed against your g-spot for the first time and clenched your hands by your sides, mumbling profanities under your breath.

He praised you as he helped you fall apart, your name tumbling from his lips followed by ‘good girl’.

His fingers were definitely bigger than yours, longer too, and you wondered to yourself why the two of you hadn’t started doing this earlier.

You opened your eyes briefly to look at his face, flushed pink, brows furrowed in concentration. His eyes were darker than you had ever seen them, nearly black like the sea at dusk, a striking antithesis to the dazzling blue ocean beneath you.

“Wonwoo, wait,” you panted and reached out for the hand that wasn’t currently inside of you.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, no it’s not that,” you stammered as you tried to catch your breath. “I just,” you paused, suddenly embarrassed. “I’m just close.”

“Oh.” His eyes widened with realization. “So did you want me to keep going or-”

You shook your head. “I want you.”

Wonwoo nodded, swallowed nervously, and pulled his fingers out of you slowly. He pushed himself up into a kneeling position and shimmied out of his swim shorts.

It was your turn to stare. You’d never seen your best friend naked before. To be fair, the boy was shirtless around you all the time, but that wasn’t the same as being butt-ass naked in front of you like he was now.

There were those butterflies again, fluttering around in your chest and stomach relentlessly. Something about the way Wonwoo was looking at you, something about the intimacy of the moment made your heart skip a beat.

You had never really let yourself think about how, uhm… well-off your best friend was, but now that his dick was literally staring you in the face you knew your estimate would have been way off anyway. Wonwoo always talked a big game, but you didn’t think he’d actually have the capability to back it up.

“My eyes are up here,” Wonwoo teased, making heat rush to your face. He lowered himself back over you with a smirk and pushed your hair out of your face delicately. “Are you sure about this?”

You nodded. “I’m sure if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure if you’re sure,” he repeated and grinned.

“Just do it already,” you groaned and rolled your eyes.

“Wow, so romantic,” he scoffed as he lined himself up. “Are you ready?”

You nodded again, suddenly overcome with nerves. You’d been doing so well, why were you freaking out now? You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that you trusted Wonwoo more than anyone you knew, he was your best friend and would never do anything to hurt you. You didn’t want to experience this with anyone else.

“I’m a little nervous,” you admitted. “Can you go slow?” Like before?

His eyes softened at your request and he nodded. “I’ll go as slow as you want, y/n. We can stop whenever. Just tell me what you need.”

You tensed, braced yourself for the stretch- for the pain you’d heard about all your life, but it never came. He pushed himself into you at an agonizing pace, pausing every inch or so to give you time to get used to the feeling. The sensation was new, but it wasn’t bad. Your body felt warm all over and the only way to describe what you were feeling was full.

Wonwoo’s head fell back and he cursed, hips jerking instinctively. You squeaked out a sound you didn’t know you were capable of making and laughed.

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologized.

“Don’t worry about it,” you said breathlessly, smiling up at your best friend reassuringly.

“You okay?”

“Never better.”

“Are you hurting?” he pressed, rubbing his thumb along your cheek.

“No, feels good.”

“You’ll tell me if it doesn’t, right?”

“Yes, Wonwoo,” you sighed impatiently. “Less talking, more fucking.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “As you wish.”

You groaned. “Don’t go all Princess Bride on me while we’re having sex, I’m already turned on enough.”

“Get used to disappointment.”

You pursed your lips and turned your head to the side to keep from laughing. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. He retaliated by leaning down and peppering kisses all over your face and neck, breaking your resolve.

“Okay, okay!” you cried.

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world,” he whispered in between kisses. “It would be a pity to damage yours.”

“You’re not even using context! How many fucking times have you seen this movie?”

He shrugged. “Too many to count.”

“Oh, so not very many then?”

“Fuck you!”

“You already are.”

“You get on my fucking nerves,” he growled.

“What are you gonna do about it?” you challenged, biting your bottom lip.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” He clenched his jaw and put a hand on your thigh to steady himself. “Are you good to keep going?”

“God, yes. Please move.”

“All you had to do was ask nicely, baby.”

Despite his cockiness he set a painstaking pace. He thrust into you gently, gauging your reaction each time. Lust and patience were both reflected in his eyes, wrestling for control. You couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. He was so fucking beautiful and he was yours, if but for a moment.

“Is this alright?” he asked in a strained voice.

You wanted to tell him to go faster, beg him to fuck you harder, but the words wouldn’t come. You were already too far gone to string together thoughts, let alone coherent sentences.

“Is that a yes?”

You managed to lift your arm and give him a thumbs up.

“I can slow down if you want,” he offered.

“No!” you choked out desperately.

“Do you want me… to go faster?”

“P-please.”

“Fuck, okay, I can do that,” he said, not sounding entirely confident about it.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes rolled back as he gradually built momentum until he was just shy of railing you like a pornstar.  

“Fuck, y/n, your cunt is so goddamn tight.”

You thought you were going to have a stroke hearing the filthy words that were coming out of your best friend’s mouth, and felt yourself clench around his cock.

“Are you close?” Wonwoo panted as his thrusts started getting sloppier.

He obviously wanted you to finish first, but you could tell he was already teetering on the edge. His muscles were taut with restraint and sweat gathered on his brow as he concentrated on holding off.

With a shaky hand he used his thumb to massage your clit, applying just enough pressure to drive you crazy.

“Yes, yes, yes, Wonwoo, I’m so close- I’m-I’m gonna cum,” you whined, feeling yourself start to tip over the edge.

But just before you could, Wonwoo pulled out and finished on your stomach with a moan of your name as streaks of white painted your skin.

He looked so pretty getting off like that that you couldn’t even be mad. The way his whole body tensed in anticipation and his face scrunched up in pleasure, the way his mouth fell open and his bottom lip trembled as he lost himself … you’d be replaying the image in your head for days.

Wonwoo hadn’t even caught his breath before his attention was back on you. He used the same two fingers from before to replace his dick and curled them up towards your g-spot, hitting it over and over and over again until you were falling apart.

Your thighs tightened around Wonwoo’s arm as you came on his fingers and begged him not to stop.

When you came down from your high it took you a second just to remember your own name, not to mention where the fuck you were.

“I’m so sorry,” Wonwoo blurted out. “It was your first time you should’ve cum first, but then you said my name and I couldn’t-”

“Wonwoo, it’s fine,” you assured him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “It was perfect.”

“No it wasn’t! I wanted it to be special for you.”

“How many people get to lose their virginity on a boat in Greece to their best friend? Sounds pretty special to me.”

“I guess,” he mumbled.

You rolled your eyes. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll let you make me cum as many times as you want tonight.”

“You’ll have to be quiet,” he reminded you. “Do you think you can do that?”

You had almost forgotten about Jihoon, Seokmin, and your other friends waiting for you back at the resort. They had all made a last-minute decision not to do the boat trip, electing instead to spend the day by the pool. You and Wonwoo were the only ones too stubborn to cancel the reservation.

It made you wonder what would have happened if the others hadn’t stayed back. If you and Wonwoo weren’t alone on the boat, would you have ever slept together? Would another opportunity have come up, or would you have spent the rest of your life as best friends and nothing more? Were you anything more now?

“Do you think they’ll know?” you asked as pulled your bikini bottoms back on.

“That we slept together?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“If they don’t figure it out when we get back, I’m sure they’ll get the hint by tomorrow morning.”

“And why’s that?” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Hotel walls are notoriously thin.”

happy birthday bby <3 lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

wonwoo tags: @wonw00t

send me an ask to be added to my taglist

[wpdarlingpan]

Hey I just read the yandere Jason's todd and I was thinking about how you said Dami was still looking for his darling/soulmate. What if yan damian found his darling at his Schools art room and she has a service dog? Like she loves painting and I saw on TikTok that a dog can paint to so there is a little set up for her dog and another for her. Can I request a story about this? Hope you are having a good day/night!

Thank you so much for this request! I love the idea.

Y/N= Your Name

Y/L/N= Your Last Name

Y/E/C= your eye color

Warning: Major Fluff

~*~

Damian Wayne had been stopped after school but a group of squealing girls he had not interest in talking to. They all wanted the same thing, his last name and his money. They didn’t understand he had no interest in any of them.

“Damian! want to go get ice cream with me?”

“Damian! will you help me study for the math test?”

“Damian! Will you be my boyfriend?”

All he heard was them just shouting his name, if those insufferable people wanted to talk so badly why couldn’t they even just talk like normal people? But he had to admit even then he wouldn’t give them the time of day. But he knew with his name he had to seem polite even if he wanted to run away, so he decided to combine the two.

“Sorry, I must go. I need to go get something from one of the classrooms.”

A chorus of shouts started up again with every one of them saying they would go with him.

“Alone.” He stressed before quickly walked or more so ran back inside the school building. He heard them rush after him so he quickly darted into the nearest classroom and shut the door behind him, which happened to be the art room.Damian had his back to the door and he heard the footsteps rush past the door in search of him.

“Hello?” He heard, at first he was worried it was another fan girl that one bombard him but when he looked up and stared into beautiful Y/E/C eyes, it felt as if time had stopped. He admired the girl who was standing in front of an easel in the center of the room. She had on a white shirt with denim overall and a pair of converse. But she was covered in paint, blue in her hair, white on her hands, even more colors covered her legs, shoes, face, pants, and even her white shirt.

After he gained some awareness of how it would come across as creepy if he kept staring he looked down to the smaller easel that was on the floor next to her and saw an adorable dog with their own painting in front of them. There was a plastic sheet on the floor so they didn’t get paw prints all over the floor as their paws were covered in purple paint.

“Hello?” The girl questioned again before he looked back up at her and he finally moved from the door, closer to the girl.

“Hi, sorry to barge in like that.” Damian apologized in a apologetic manner.

“Oh! No worries. It just startled me a bit but then I heard all the foot steps pass the door, too which I assume you were running from people.” She spoke very analytically. Damian feel even more in love. She had a dog, she wasn’t squealing, she was very aware, and she was also very adorable as he saw the paint on her.

“You are very clever.” He replied smoothly making her blush to which Damian smirked.

“Thank you.” She spoke shyly. Damian could tell she was rather anxious so he kept talking to try and ease her nerves. Damian knew he wanted her to be his soulmate as the other bats. But he preferred the term beloved.

“May i see your paintings?”

“Sure.” She spoke nervously. Y/N wasn’t too confident as a person do showing her art to someone was very nerves racking, that was why she was there after school so she could finish her painting and not worry about the people around her, also because her teacher said she could try and see if her dog could paint like she saw others do on Tik tok.

Damian walked over to the girl and he dog and stood rather close to her, looking at the painting quite closely as to have ma excuse to stand next to her.

He looked at the painting and saw a silhouette of Gotham at night, he knew this because there was a image of the bat signal painted towards the night sky.

“This is amazing.” Damian complimented making her blush. She really wasn’t blushing because it was Damian Wayne making the comments but just because someone was making the comments in the first place. Damian then crouched down on the side closest to the dog and let the dog sniff his hand before he pet them while he looked at the dogs painting.

“This is a very cute idea, I might have to try this with my dog Titus, whats your dogs name?” He spoke as he looked at the purple paw prints at were on the canvas.

“His name is Padfoot, after the-“

“Harry Potter series? Sirius black right?” Y/N glowed at the thought of him knowing where her dogs name came from. She was really expecting him to be mean like some of the other people at school when they asked her dogs name. They thought the name padfoot was stupid and she should have named her dog like shadow or something based off the dark fur.

Damian saw her change in demeanor and smirked before continuing.

“I love the Harry Potter series.” 

“Me too! Well you probably already knew that because of the name but-“

“Hey, it’s fine.” Damian reassured as she started to rant and stumble on her words. Damian loved Y/N’s shyness. It meant he had to worry about a lot less people being in the way. Then he realized he didn’t even know her name yet.

“What’s your name?” He questioned in subtle flirty tone.

“I’m y/n! What’s yours?” She did already know his name but she assumed that he would like to introduce himself. He liked that.

“Wayne, Damian Wayne.” He held out a hand for her to shake and she went to do so before noticing all the paint of her hands.

“Nice to meet you, I’d shake your hand but I’d feel bad getting paint on you.” Damian smiled slightly at her kind nature and proceeded to shake her hand anyway that seemed to fit perfectly in his. He didn’t even hardly pay attention to the white paint that was in his hands.

“It’s alright.” He said as he saw her looking alarmed at the paint on his hands.

Damian wanted to move quickly. He wanted to make her his as soon as possible. So he began another conversation and asked her about her life such as her friends, family, what area of Gotham she lived in, if she was single; to which she blushed brightly at as she replied with a quick yes as she never even held hands with a boy before. Damian was pleased with all the answers, and he felt very protective over her as she told him her address. He had to keep her safe if she was just waking around telling her address to anybody. Of course he wouldn’t be just anybody to her but it didn’t mean that she wouldn’t go telling other people who he knew didn’t deserve it know.

Damian didn’t want to go the route Timothy Drake did. He didn’t want to immediately force her to be his. He wanted something that made him feel the love that he was neglected of for years. He found his beloved and he knew that he had to be gentle in a way. But he could tell she was perfect for him.

She had finished her painting and put it over but the others from class the day and Padfoots had dried so she picked up the small easel and put it in her bag.

“I should probably head home now.” She spoke after she put Padfoot back on his leash and washed most of the paint off his paws. Damian panicked slightly as he didn’t want their time to end but, he also knew he could go home and search up everything he could find on the bat computer.

They walked out to the front together and saw Alfred patiently waiting in the car while reading a book. He looked up and saw Damian walking out alongside Y/N and smiled to himself slightly. He knew the boy deserved love, and it seemed that he had found his.

Y/N was tempted to ask for his number, but she didn’t want to come across as clingy or pushy. She had deeply enjoyed talking to him and she wanted to further.

“Pass me your phone.” Damian said with a slight demanding tone. Y/N did so without hesitation making Damian smirk as he typed in his number and put his name in the contact. He sent a messages to himself after and discreetly changed her contact name to ‘My Beloved ❥’ and handed back her phone.

“There, I texted myself from your phoen so we have each other’s numbers. Text me whenever you want.” Y/N smiled brightly at him making him smile back.

She began to wave goodbye and make the walk back home but he stopped her once he saw her start walking.

“Wait you’re walk home? Alone? But you live so far.”

“Yeah, my parents are always working so they can’t come get me. But it’s okay, I’m used to walking home .” But Damian immediately begins shaking his head. He knew the dangers of being in Gotham as he has seen many first hand. He wouldn’t allow his beloved to be so unprotected.

“I’ll give you a ride home from now on okay?” He spoke decidedly. She began to shake her head no.

“I couldn’t ask to do do that-“

“You didn’t ask, I told you. I’m going to give you a ride home, it’s too dangerous out there by yourself.”

“But I got Padfoot to protect me!” She spoke innocently while holding up the shaggy black dog.

Damian looked at her with a look that left no room for argument.

“Fine… but just this once.” Y/N said before following him over to the sleek black car.

“Definitely not only once, but believe what you want to believe. I can be quite… persuasive.”

Damian opened the door for her to get it and he helped her inside before getting in on the other side while Alfred glanced in the mirror every so often.

“Hello. Nice to meet you, what’s your name sir?” She spoke politely looking at Alfred as he looked up in the mirror.

“I’m Alfred Pennyworth. And you are?”

“Y/N L/N.”

“Nice to meet you as well Miss L/N.”

She smiled at him as he saw in the mirror and he slightly smiled back and could already tell she was a kind person. Perfect for Damian and the Wayne family.

Her and Damian talked the whole ride to her house after she gave Alfred her address. Once they arrived Damian tried not to look to disappointed and continued to reassure himself that he would see her the next day for sure. He would also look her up on the bat computer.

They pulled up in front of a nice house that resided in a sketchy area, well all of Gotham was sketchy but Damian remembered one of the warehouse down the street was one of Jokers hold hideouts and he stopped a drug sale a few houses down and not to even mention the-

Before he continue she opened her door and stepped out of the car.

“Thank you for the ride Mr.Pennyworth. Bye Dami!” She said happily as she set Padfoot out of the car as well and made her way into the house. As the door shut behind her he snapped out of his trance of thinking of all the dangers and the fact she already gave him a nickname.

“Beat that Todd.” Damian thought to himself as he was already making more progress in a day than Todd and Grayson had in weeks with their soulmates.

“I presume that’s her Master Wayne?”

“Definitely Pennyworth. She’s My Beloved.”

~*~

I hope you liked it ♡

[storiesforallfandoms]

the only one for me ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1493

request?: yes!

“MGK Fluff ??”

description: the endless dating rumors regarding her boyfriend start to get to her

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, insecurities

masterlist (one, two)

Logging onto Twitter and seeing yet another dating rumor regarding my boyfriend and some famous, beautiful female was basically a daily routine at this point. It seemed to be nothing new, but that didn’t make it hurt any less every time I saw a new post about it.

The latest rumored lady to have “stolen Colson’s heart” was Megan Fox, who had starred in Colson’s latest music video. The article I was reading stated how much chemistry Colson and Megan had on set and how it was “so obvious” that they had a secret romance happening behind the scenes.

I wasn’t hurt because I believed the rumors. I trusted Colson. I knew he’d never cheat on me, but seeing all these beautiful women and seeing his fans and media outlets commenting on how cute he would look with someone else so much prettier than me really did nothing for my confidence.

I wasn’t famous, I was just your average girl who worked an average hob and went to school on the side. Due to this, Colson and I decided to keep our relationship a secret so I wouldn’t be harassed by paparazzi and fans. I appreciated the privacy I had been getting, but it did make it hard to see all these dating rumors.

This rumor got to me in a way the others hadn’t before and I had an overwhelming urge to call Colson. He was probably asleep or preparing for the show that night, but I needed to hear his voice.

I was shocked when he answered on the third ring. “Hey babe!”

I could hear a crowd on his end of the call. “Hey! What’s all the noise?”

“We’re celebrating before I go on stage.”

“Before?” I asked, teasingly. “What are you guys celebrating?”

“The Bloody Valentine video hit a million views in less than 24 hours! None of my videos have ever done that before, so we’re celebrating.”

“Oh my God, Colson that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

Someone called out to Colson on his end. I could hear him responding, but his response was muffled as I realized the voice was a female voice.

“Is that...is that Megan?” I asked.

“Yeah! We invited her since she’s the leading lady of the video.” Another comment was made by Megan, to which Colson said to me, “She says hi!”

I couldn’t respond. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes and I was afraid Colson would hear my voice breaking if I spoke. Instead, I managed to squeak out a “gotta go” before hanging up.

~~~~~~

As I expected, there were articles published about the video celebration, specifically about Colson and Megan. A handful of pictures were taken outside wherever the celebration was taking place of Colson and Megan laughing as he puffed on a joint. The captions posted under this picture from numerous sites and fan pages were all the same: “look how cute Megan and Colson are!”

I had to go offline for a while because I was getting more upset than I had before.

It seemed like Colson didn’t notice as much as I did, so I never really brought the issue up. I didn’t want him to think he couldn’t be friends with women, or think of me as a jealous girlfriend or anything.

But I knew he could tell something was off. He kept trying to coax it out of me, but I wouldn’t budge. I figured he would grow tired of my refusal and would let it go. The last thing I expected was to come home from work one day and find Colson waiting for me in my apartment.

“Hey!” I said when I found him sat in my living room. “What are you doing here?”

“We have a few days before the next show, so I asked to come home before then,” he said. “I wanted to talk to you.”

The six worst words to ever hear. I felt my worry rise as I approached him and sat next to him on the couch.

“What’s on your mind lately?” he asked. “I know you keep saying it’s nothing, but I can tell it’s not nothing. I’m worried about you, babe. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

I looked down at my lap as I shrugged. “It’s nothing. Just work and school, I guess.”

“Is this about Megan?”

For some reason, hearing him say her name felt like I was being stabbed through the heart. I had to bite my lip to try and hold back my tears.

“When you hung up so suddenly during the video celebration, I realized something was up,” he said. “And then you started deleting your social media accounts, or making them private, and you were acting different. It all started that night. If it’s because we invited Megan to the party, I’m sorry if that upset you. There was no underlying meanings behind inviting her, it was just because she was in the video and we decided she should be at the celebration.”

“It’s not because she was there!” I finally snapped, unable to hold myself back. “I don’t care if you’re friends with Megan, or with any woman, but I do care that everyone thinks you’re dating every female who so much as breathes in your direction. And it really doesn’t help my self-esteem to see people saying how happy you look or how cute you’d look with someone who is, like, a million times prettier than me.”

“Babe, that’s not true,” he said. “I mean, I’ve seen the rumors about me and Megan, but it’s not all the women I’m friends with - ”

I laughed, humorlessly. “No, not all of them. Just Chantal and Noah and Ash and Sommer and now Megan. So no, not all of them, just most of them.”

I could see the gears turning in Colson’s head as he thought about it. Maybe he didn’t see the same stuff I did, maybe I just saw more because of how insecure it made me. But those rumors were there, and they had been nearly our entire relationship.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I never realized...I don’t attention to shit like that. I never thought much about the way I acted around my female friends.”

“You treat them the way you treat the boys,” I said. “I’ve seen how you are with Ash, the two of you are just friends. But people don’t believe that men and women can just be friends so when they see men and women acting as friends, they assume that means they’re dating. There’s nothing you can really do about it.”

Colson put a hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. “You don’t believe any of that shit though, right? You know it’s all media bullshit.”

I nodded. “Yeah, of course I do. I know you’d never cheat on me. I trust you so much.”

“And you can’t possibly believe that they’re any more beautiful than you are.”

I chuckled. “Okay, that one I can’t agree to considering the person you’re currently in a dating rumor with is Megan fucking Fox. I mean, have you seen her? She’s the most beautiful woman in the world!”

“Not to me she’s not.”

I looked away from him again, feeling my cheeks heat up and a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “You don’t mean that.”

“Of course I do.” I felt his finger gently touch my chin, lifting my head so I would look at him. “(Y/N), I hope you know you mean the world to me. You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever known, and you own my heart. You’re the only one for me and I love you more than words could ever say. I’m sorry you’ve had to witness all these stupid rumors, and I’m sorry I never noticed them so I could assure you of all of this sooner. But I mean it, you’re everything to me. I love you so much.”

The tears I had been holding back for so long finally started to fall down my cheeks. I awkwardly laughed as I tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. “That was so cliche.”

“You loved it, though.”

“I love you, that’s a whole different thing.”

Colson smiled and pulled me in for a kiss. Warmth filled me as my lips touched his, and it was just another reminder that he was mine. I ran my hand through his hair and leaned into him until we were both laying back on the couch.

When we finally managed to pull away from one another, Colson rested his forehead on mine. “Did you have any other plans today?”

I shook my head.

“Good, because I don’t intend on letting you leave this apartment any time soon.”

He wrapped me into a tight cuddle, and I gladly accepted these plans he had made for us.

[citrusdarling7]

jealously

summary- Tom Riddle becomes jealous of reader’s boyfriend and decides to take matters into his own hands

warnings- smut, cheating, degrading, edging, and a bit of light choking. dom! tom, sub! reader

🗡—————————————————————🗡

I’ve never been much of a morning person, but for some reason I was up early today. I knew that I had a potions essay due tomorrow, and I was behind on it. Still in my silky nightgown, I assumed no one else would be in the common room. To my surprise, Abraxas was sitting in front of the fireplace. I smiled and tip-toed over to him, wrapping my arms around his chest from behind him. He squeezed one of my hands gently, acknowledging my presence.

“Darling, why are you up? It’s barely 5 am,” he told me softly. I rolled my eyes and swiveled around the couch so I could sit down next to him.

“I should be asking you the same thing, Malfoy. Oh my God, what happened to your face?” Even in the dim lighting of the Slytherin common room, I could see the dark purple bruises around one of his eyes. I gently reached up to try and touch him, but he turned his face to the side.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Did you sleep well?” He tried to change the subject, but I didn’t let up.

“Brax, what the hell happened? Please tell me that the other guy looks worse,” I said while positioning myself closer to him. I gently ran a finger along his jawline in a comforting gesture. I could smell his sage wood cologne, which I absolutely adored.

“Truthfully darling, I think I’m lucky I walked away without him cursing me. He was absolutely livid after you left.”

Of course. I was such an idiot. Tom had done this to him.

Late last night, Abraxas and I were kissing in the corridor when we decided we wanted to go somewhere more private. Abraxas knows how to find the Room of Requirement, and he dragged me inside, still kissing my neck and holding onto my waist. Unfortunately for us, all of the other 6th year Slytherin boys were already there, brewing some type of illegal potion. Not only had Abraxas forgotten he was supposed to meet with them that night, but he had also exposed me to what was happening.

Although some people would believe so, I’m not naive to what goes on in this school. I know about Tom and his pursuits in dark magic. I know about their constant fights with those Gryffindors who all wear that one lion pin. But Tom seemed to believe that I had no prior knowledge of these secret meetings, and he instantly started yelling at us.

“Malfoy, you idiot! You are not supposed to bring back girls to this room, and certainly not when we’re in the middle of illicit activities!”

Rosier and Avery were still sitting by the cauldron, doing nothing to help the situation. I stepped away from Abraxas and turned towards Tom.

“Calm down, Riddle. You and your superiority complex need to learn that not everyone’s life revolves around yours,” I spat at him. Tom took a step closer to me, and I instinctively reached to pull out my wand. Before I had a chance to, I felt the back of my head being slammed against the wall, Tom’s hand gripping my throat tightly. Abraxas and Rosier both shouted for Tom to let go of me, but I just smiled. I stared him down, letting him know that I wasn’t afraid of him.

“You’re not allowed to speak to me that way,” he growled.

“I can speak to you any way I want Tommy.” His eyes looked as if he wanted to strangle me, but I saw the trace of a smile play across his lips. He abruptly let go of me and turned towards Abraxas.

“You need to keep your girlfriend under control. Get out of here.” Abraxas quickly grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the door.

“Not you, Malfoy. Your presence is still required here.” I opened my mouth to tell him off again, but Abraxas quickly shook his head.

“Go back to the common room, darling. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” I reluctantly sighed, but figured that I shouldn’t piss Tom off even more. I should have known that Tom would still be angry with Abraxas.

Flashing back to present time, I turned around to look towards the boys dormitories. Abraxas could tell what I was thinking, so he gently squeezed my hand.

“Leave it alone, dearest. He was fine the rest of the night, confronting him will just make him mad again. I don’t want you to get hurt, my love.”

I’m not one to back down easily, and I constantly let my temper get the best of me. But Abraxas’ soft touch against my leg and heart-felt words relaxed me a bit.

“Alright. I won’t say anything. Have you done Slughorn’s essay yet?”

We spent the next hour or so alone in the common room, trying to hastily finish up homework. By the time that others started waking up, I was sitting in his lap, my hands in his hair as we kissed passionately.

“You two are disgusting. 20 points from Slytherin,” a cold voice said. I rolled my eyes and gave Abraxas a quick peck on the lips before sliding off of him and back onto the couch. Tom was Head Boy, and he had no problem with taking points from his own house. He had a lot of nerve as well. Almost every single night I watched him drag some girl into his room. She always left limping a few hours later, and Tom never spoke to her again.

“Put some clothes on. You’re dressed like a whore,” he spat at me. I scoffed at him, but got up to head back to my room anyways. As I slipped on my school robes and brushed out my hair, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tom.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. I managed to get through all of my classes without speaking a word to Tom. After watching the Slytherin quidditch team practice while gossiping with Lestrange, I sat with Rosier and Abraxas in the common room. Rosier made me play chess with him, beating me every single time. This was strange, since I considered myself an excellent chess player. I guess I was just a little distracted. Abraxas excused himself to his dorm room, saying that he had a ton of homework to do. He gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving.

“Something on your mind?” Rosier asked me. I sighed and slumped down in my chair.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m still kind of upset about what happened with Tom. Why do you guys let him treat you all so awfully?”

“It’s not as simple as that. Being friends with Riddle has advantages and disadvantages. The occasional hex or punch to the face isn’t much of a price to pay.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“One of these days I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” I said with a grin. Rosier chuckled and patted my arm.

“Good luck with that.”

A few hours later I was lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I had been trying desperately to fall asleep. But something was still on the back of my mind, and that something was preventing me from being able to relax. I let out a sigh and rolled out of bed. I slipped out of my room and quietly walked down the stairs, into the common room. I then made my way up the stairs leading to the boys dormitory. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door at the end of the hallway. He opened the door, and my nostrils were instantly filled with the smell of smoke. Tom stood inches away from me, still in his school uniform. He was holding a lit cigarette between his fingers.

“Did you need something, sweetheart?” I rolled my eyes at his stupid pet-name.

“You are absolutely insane, Riddle! You walk around this damn school like you own the place, and I’m sick of it.” He smiled and offered out his arm to me.

“If you’re going to yell at me, then you might as well do it behind closed doors,” he offered. I didn’t take his hand, but I did step inside and let him shut the door behind me. Since he was Head Boy, his room was bigger than all of ours. I could see that his window was open, probably because of the smoke. His bed had black silky sheets adorning it, and I could see all of the books on his desk were neatly stacked. His box of cigarettes was laying on his nightstand.

“So did you come here just to tell me off or did you want a smoke as well?” he taunted.

I turned around to face him again.

“I want you to stop hitting my boyfriend. And the rest of the boys. You have to learn how to respect others.” He chuckled darkly while taking a step towards me.

“Darling, that’s a pretty demanding request. My respect has to be earned.” In an attempt to look more confident, I crossed my arms across my chest.

“You’re such a child, Tom. I don’t know why you think that everyone worships you!” I shouted at him. He quickly wrapped his free hand around my neck and pushed me against the wall. He flicked his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out.

“That’s because everyone does. Everyone except you it seems.” I don’t know why Tom had this constant need to slam me up against the wall and choke me. It didn’t make me afraid of his dumbass.

Honestly, it was kind of hot. He brought his other hand up to my face and he touched my cheek softly.

“Did you and Malfoy ever finish what you started yesterday?” It took me a moment to realize that he was asking if we had fucked.

“That’s none of your business,” I snapped at him. He tightened his grip on my throat and used one of his legs to pin down mine.

“Answer my question.”

“No, I haven’t slept with him. Why do you care?” Tom brought his head down to my neck and whispered into my ear.

“Because I’m not into sloppy seconds.” Before I had a chance to mention the fact that he probably had over twenty bodies, he started kissing me roughly. I kissed him back and wrapped my leg around one of his. I let him suck on my neck as he pushed my thin nightgown up my leg and slipped one of his hands under it. He started to slowly rub circles on my thigh. He continued to suck on my neck as I tried to grind against him. He growled and used his other hand to push my waist back against the wall.

“None of that. Do you want me to touch you, darling?” he asked in a mocking tone. I nodded and he slipped his fingers into my underwear.

“Someone’s a needy little slut,” he whispered. Part of me wanted to call him a man-whore, but the part of me that valued my life kept me quiet. I felt him push two fingers inside me and I whimpered. He started to rub my clit with his thumb as he thrusted his fingers in and out of me. He started kissing my neck again as I moaned quietly. He was going incredibly slow, making me desperate for every touch. At a particularly sharp pressure, one of my legs twitched and I had to bite my lip to stop from making noise. Tom chuckled and tilted my chin towards him.

“Didn’t you come here to yell at me? Are you going to yell at me now, darling?” He started to rub me faster, which made it difficult for me to even speak.

“I hate you,” I was able to mutter. He laughed and pinched my waist roughly, making me jump. After only a few minutes, I was starting to get close to my peak. I felt my legs start to shake as I bit my lip to stifle my moans. Tom noticed this, so he stopped touching me. I frowned as he leaned down to whisper into my ear.

“Did you really think I was going to let you come that quickly?”

Before I had the chance to respond, he grabbed my legs and spun me around, pushing me onto his bed. He quickly tugged my nightgown off of me and started to take off his shirt. I tried to reach up and help him, but he used his free hand to push me back onto the bed. He quickly unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants off before getting on top of me. I felt his member pressing against my thigh. He wrapped a hand around my throat again and used the other hand to gently rub one of my hips.

“Is this what you want? Me to fuck you senseless while your boyfriend sleeps two rooms over?” I felt him rub against my clit, teasing me purposefully. I decided that I wouldn’t tell him that me and Abraxas weren’t actually dating until later.

“Tom-”

“Shut up,” he growled before thrusting into me sharply. As he rocked into me, I definitely felt a bit of pain. He was bigger than what I was used to, but I was adjusting quickly. I tried to rest my arms on his shoulders, but he didn’t like that. He pinned my hands above my head and started to attack my neck with his mouth.

“If you do that again, I’ll tie you down. Don’t test me,” he muttered. He continued to rail into me over and over, hitting me at just the right angle. In less than ten minutes I was close again. I tightly clenched the sheets and tried to grind my hips against his to alleviate some of the tension. That’s when he slipped out of me with a grin.

“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said while stroking my hair.

“Are you fucking serious?” I complained.

“Completely. Be a good girl and maybe I’ll let you finish before the night is over.”

I will admit, his self-control was pretty impressive. Most guys wouldn’t be able to handle pulling out before they had finished. But I also figured that he was just bluffing. There was no way he would be able to do this for more than twenty minutes. After 30 or so seconds of him attacking my mouth with his tongue, he thrusted into me again. This time his strokes were a bit slower and more gentle. He rubbed one of my arms lightly as he made me shiver at his touch.

“Tom, oh my God,” I moaned into his neck. I assumed he was going to tell me to shut up, but I guess he liked knowing how good he was making me feel.

“That’s right, darling. You like this?” I nodded my head as he pressed soft kisses against my jawline. I was definitely pleased with his change of pace. The slow stroked and gentle kisses made this feel a bit more like a normal thing. But of course, that didn’t last very long. Once he was done leaving hickies all over my neck, he wrapped his hand around it. He started to press himself deeper inside of me, rocking me into his bed. I whimpered as he hit a spot that made my legs twitch.

“Quiet, slut,” he demanded. I tilted my head slightly away from him, trying to stifle my moans with one of his pillows. I was panting at this point, desperately gripping onto the sheets.

“Could Malfoy make you feel this good?”

“Yeah, if I was with him I would’ve came by now,” I thought to myself. However, I shook my head in an attempt to appease him.

“That’s right. Should I let you finish now?” I nodded and he jerked my face back towards him. “Alright. Beg for it.” That actually made me laugh. There was no way I was going to give into him that easily. Tom shrugged and continued to pound into me. “Be difficult then. I don’t care either way.”

I bit down my lip to muffle a scream as my stomach flipped and my legs shook. Right when I was about to be sent over the edge, he pulled out of me again. By now, I was completely fed up with him. I tried to bring one of my hands down between my legs, but he was quicker than me. He grabbed both of my arms and roughly pinned them above my head.

“I don’t think so, dear. I want the whole hallway to hear you screaming my name,” he said while stroking my cheek tauntingly.

“Good luck with that,” I said with an eye roll.

“You’re mine now. No one gets to touch you but me,” he muttered into my ear before thrusting into me again. By now I could see finger-shaped bruises starting to form on my waist. We had been going at it for at least 35 minutes, and my body was aching for release. I was confident that he had left at least 5 or so hickies on my neck, which I was not looking forward to having to cover up tomorrow. Out of instinct, I tried to move my leg around his to adjust the angle. Tom slammed me down onto his bed roughly.

“Don’t fucking move,” he growled. He pressed one of his thumbs against my clit, making me whimper. I was so frustrated that tears had started to stream down my face. Tom gently wiped them away with his free hand.

“Are you gonna apologize for yelling at me earlier?” he asked in a snarl. I shook my head, which made him chuckle.

“That’s what I thought. If you’re gonna be like that, you clearly haven’t learned your lesson.” He started to kiss roughly at my collar, obviously trying to mark me more. After a few minutes of listening to me whine and pant, he decided to give me another chance.

“Promise me you’ll stop hanging around Malfoy,” he said softly. That kind of threw me for a loop.

“What? Why?” He nibbled on my ear lobe and thrusted into me sharply.

“You’re my little slut now. I don’t want him touching you. Promise me.” I instinctively shook my head, which only made his thrusts even harder.

“Promise me, darling. Like I said, I can go all night.” I really, really wanted to keep my mouth shut. But I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t take much more.

“Fine. I promise. Please Tom, I-”

He bit down on my lip and thrusted into me at the perfect angle and speed.

Over-and-over again.

I moaned his name as well as a stream of profanities as waves of pleasure tore through my body. My legs were shaking so bad that he had to actually hold them down. While I was riding out my high, Tom muttered praises into my ear. I was so extremely sensitive that every touch set off fireworks against my skin.

“Take me like a good girl,” he said before roughly grabbing my throat. It took him a few minutes to finish himself off, but when he did it was so hot. He didn’t even bother to pull out. He continued to kiss me for a bit before he got up and started to walk towards his bathroom.

“Now, get the hell out of my room, whore.”

I smiled at his lovely term of endearment as I tried to quickly pull my clothing back on. I stood up quickly, and my legs gave out beneath me. Tom laughed as he put on his bathrobe.

“You’re pathetic,” he said while helping me up. Surprisingly enough, he walked me back to my dorm, smiling the entire way. Before he turned to leave he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Sleep well, darling.” I flashed him a sweet smile.

“You too, Riddle.”

[reciprocityfic]

Aww I want them all! But okay, let's start with 1. A conversation you wish had happened in canon. For AmyxLaurie

1. a conversation you wish had happened in canon.

“I’m not marrying Fred.”

She tries to say it nonchalantly, void of emotion so as to not reveal the anxiety churning in her gut, but she’s afraid that the slight tremble in her voice betrays her. She tries to take a breath to ground herself, but the air that leaves her lungs comes out unsteadily.

She waits for him to answer - to say something, but he doesn’t respond right away. She wonders if he’s finding out for the first time. She meant to write him after she turned down the proposal, but hadn’t yet; everything seemed to be happening so fast, and she hadn’t yet had the chance to gather up the nerve.

But it’s possible he found out still, she supposes. She heard Fred left for London soon after she turned him down, and he and Laurie run in the same social circle, the kind that thrives on any piece of gossip. Someone could’ve very well told him.

But he keeps his mouth shut, and even though she knows it’s only been a few moments since she spoke, his silence seems to stretch on and on. It allows enough time for her thoughts to swirl around in her brain, for her heart to twist itself into knots.

Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe time away from you cleared his head, made him realize that you were simply a substitute for Jo.

She feels the need to clarify suddenly; she doesn’t want to force him into anything, make him do something he’ll regret just to spare her feelings.

“I heard about that,” he says carefully, and she hears him somewhere in the back of her mind. But she’s already turned towards him, words pushing at her lips.

“And you are under no obligation to say anything, or do anything,” she assures him, trying to insert some sort of confidence behind her words, but she can’t quite muster it as she stares at her feet.

She takes another deep breath, exhaling audibly. She can’t do this without being honest, she realizes, without laying her heart bare to him. She suddenly thinks of how hard it must have been for him, to propose to Jo, to reveal his affection for her in the garden those weeks ago.

“I just didn’t love him as I should.”

Not as I love you, she almost tells him, but she bites her tongue. She’s trying, but she’s not quite brave enough to say it plainly like that. Not now, when everything is still so uncertain.

Again, he doesn’t say anything, and oh, he has changed his mind, hasn’t he? Surely he would’ve interrupted her by now if he still wanted her, given her some sort of response. She can feel his eyes on her even though she continues to look away from him. He’s probably trying to figure out a way to tell her no, she decides, and scrambles to save face, letting out another breath.

“So we don’t need to talk about it, we don’t need to say anything -”

He kisses her.

He kisses her, hard, and she can’t process it for a moment. She feels his mouth against hers, his hand cradling her face, the warmth of his body against her own, but she can’t put it all together. Can’t comprehend what’s happening to her.

But then, oh, he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth, moves his head upward slightly and tugs on it, and she’s aware of everything - the press of his nose against hers, each of his fingers against her cheek, burning their pattern into her skin. He’s everywhere, all over her, and she softens, melts into him as she kisses him back.

His free arm wraps around her waist, pulls her more closely against him, lifting her onto her tiptoes as she searches for his mouth. She wishes they could stay in this moment forever. That she could live here, wrapped in his arms, warm from head to toe as his lips move in time with hers. But that’s not practical, she supposes, and after a few moments more they separate, both of them out of breath in the most wonderful way.

“Amy,” he murmurs.

Her eyes are closed, but the corners of her lips turn up when she hears him say her name.

“Amy,” he beckons again, and she opens her eyes, finds him staring back at her with an expression so tender and loving that tears well in her eyes. “Are you listening?”

She nods, and he crouches down just slightly, so he can look more directly into her eyes.

“I love you,” he tells her. “You have to know that. You must know that I love you. With my entire heart and soul, I love you.”

“You do?” she asks, her breath catching in her throat. A part of her still can’t believe it, despite his proposal and the kiss they just shared. The part of her that had resigned itself to only being able to love him from afar, that had become so used to him always looking at Jo whenever she was looking at him.

“Yes,” he says, a breathless laugh leaving him as the arm around her waist tightens and his other arm moves from her face to circle her shoulders as he pulls her into a firm hug. “Yes. I love everything about you - your laugh and your eyes, your voice. The way your brow furrows and lips purse when you paint or sketch, and then the way you step back and smile when you’ve done something you think is good. How your eyes light up when you look at the art in museums. I love how much you love your family. I love the woman you’ve become, but I also love how I can still see that same Amy I’ve always known peek out sometimes, especially when you’re happy or excited.”

She presses her face into the crook of his neck, inhales him, and can’t help the tears that spill over as she listens to him speak.

“I love the way you inspire me and make me want to be more, for both myself and for others. I love spending time with you - just being beside you is the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known. I love you, Amy March, your heart and your spirit and your mind and your soul. Everything you are, everything that you’ve become and will become. I love you.”

He lets her go and takes a small step back, grabs one of her hands in his and uses the other to wipe away the dampness that’s collected on her face.

“I love you, too” she whispers to him, turning into his palm and speaking into his skin.

“You’re not...you’re not a replacement for Jo,” he declares ardently, holding her gaze. “And you’re not second - not when it comes to me. Not to anything or anyone, but especially not to her. I’ve loved Jo - I’ll always love Jo - but what I felt for her is not the same as this. This is better, and it’s stronger, and it’s more - so much more. And I never want it to end. I want to spend the rest of my life with it.”

He closes the space between them once again, kisses her forehead and then her cheek.

“Amy,” he says, and then he bends down, gets on one knee in the green grass at her feet. He takes both of her hands.

“I know so, so much has happened, and there’s been so much pain and heartbreak, but nothing would make me happier than knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. And I don’t have any kind of plan or a ring, but I do have myself and my heart and my love, and I’m willing to give them all to you, if you’ll have them. They’re already yours. So, Amy March - Amy Curtis March - will you marry me?”

And it’s the easiest decision she’s ever made. She can’t keep the smile off her face, and he smiles back at her when he realizes - the most brilliant smile she’s ever seen on him. He’s so beautiful that she could cry again, if she let herself.

He stands up at the same time that she reaches down and pulls at him. She kisses him first this time, and his hands wander over her body, moving across her shoulders and down her back before looping back up. He curls his palm around the back of her neck, buries the other one in her neatly pinned-up hair. They separate when they need to breathe, but they don’t go far, their mouths still resting together, smiles turning up their lips.

And she whispers against him, “Yes.”

send me a number and a pairing (preferably laurie x amy) and i'll write you a mini fic!

[littlesniggy]

Hiii!!!! i can't understand it but i like ichiji so much kwfjwjfjd help. There's just something so attractive about him🥺....... anyway, i'm happy whenever i find something about him that you wrote, you write so gooooooood, i really love it!!

so i want to ask a scenario where he is "jealous" (i don't really think i can feel jealous, but maybe he likes marking territory? something like "yeah my s/o is perfect look at her but don't touch what's mine"), so... a nsfw scenario where he is "jealous" about something his brothers did with his fem s/o, maybe they were trying to flirt with her in front of him, and then ichiji wanted to make it clear to her and everyone who she belongs to

whatever you think fits best i'm sure i'll love it💕

thank you and have a amazing week💕

Hey Anon! Thank you so much for requesting! Sorry it took me so long to write this but I was quite busy with work. As you said yourself, Ichiji probably doesn't get jealous but he can be quite possessive. So, here it is! I hope you enjoy it!!

Warning: 18+, nsfw, dirty talk, slight degradation, overstimulation

Pairing: Ichiji x female reader

Word count: 2.5k

“And he really thought he could beg his way out of this!” Niji laughed, his deep voice echoing from the cold walls. His two brothers joined in, mocking laughter that showed no sympathy for their victims. “And did you see this woman? Trying to negotiate her way into becoming one of our servants. Who did she think we were? Some kind of charity?” Yonji mocked, wallowing in the thought that he was the one ending her miserable life.

Ichiji was simply sitting there, a cocky smirk on his lips, arms crossed in front of his muscular chest. He enjoyed this mission no less than his siblings but he was a little disappointed that you haven’t been here to greet him. Where were you anyway? He didn’t want to show it but he was annoyed that you weren’t by his side.

“By the way, Ichiji, where is Y/n? Thought she would already be waiting here for us to come back.” Yonji chuckled, his eyes looking around in hopes of finding her.

“For me.” Ichiji corrected him.

“Huh?” Yonji raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding what he was getting at.

“She should’ve been waiting for me. Why would she be waiting for the likes of you?” his overly confident voice made it clear he thought he was better than his brothers, not even imagining that you could possibly find either one of them attractive.

“So we can have a look at her, too? Stop hogging her like you own her.” Niji agreed with his younger brother. Ichiji huffed, finding it amusing how Niji really thought he needed to hog

you. He didn’t even bother considering to answer and he didn’t even need to; he felt your presence way before you even turned the corner, his grin widening even more.

“Y/n!” Yonji greeted you. Ichiji could practically see his eyes popping out at the sight of you. You smiled at him politely but didn’t pay much attention to him. Ichiji’s ego grew with every step you took and with every look you didn’t give them. They were nothing more than thin air to you.

“Finally. Where have you been? You know I don’t like to be kept waiting” The oldest Vinsmoke brother scolded you and pulled you onto his lap the second you stood in front of him. Surprised, you let out a yelp but didn’t complain, giving him a long and deep kiss, hearing the whistling from his two brothers.

“Where is my kiss?” Yonji joked yet his eyes told Ichiji that his brother wouldn’t mind it if you actually sat down on his lap and did so. His arm around your waist pulled you even closer to him, a challenging grin on his lips. “Don’t get too cocky, Yonji. She would never stoop so low to even touch either of you, let alone kiss.” The green-haired male scowled at his older brother, not too pleased with his answer.

Niji chuckled next to him, shaking his head. “I think that’s for Y/n to decide, isn’t it?” he opposed, his eyes wandering over your sitting form. Ichiji didn’t like the way Niji talked to you. Who did he think he was? Who did both of them think they are? The oldest brother looked at you, the cocky grin slightly warning when he started talking to you. “Do you want to let yourself get fucked by them, Y/n?” he asked straight forward. You felt a little overwhelmed by this sudden change in atmosphere around you and Ichiji’s grin didn’t make it any better.

“O-of course not.” You stated, feeling slightly uncomfortable now being the center of attention. “Bet she would answer differently if you weren’t here….” Yonji’s voice had dropped an octave, making you shiver. What was going on here? You felt Ichiji’s body tense up a little, knowing full well he wasn’t pleased by his brother’s comment. “S-should I leave?” you asked uncertain, trying to search some other emotion in Ichiji’s face other than disgust towards his two younger brothers.

“No. On the contrary. I think they were actually just about to leave…” his voice didn’t leave any room to argue, even Niji and Yonji realized that their brother wasn’t joking. Niji, the slightly more reasonable one, stood up first, shaking his head in slight disbelief. “Calm your panties, Ichiji. One could think you’re actually jealous.” Niji grinned at his brother. Ichiji didn’t respond, he simply watched how Niji stuffed his hands in his pockets before stalking away, calling for Yonji to follow him. “If you want to spice things up for a change, you know where to find me, Y/n.” you heard Yonji call out before both of them left the room, leaving only the two of you.

There was silence for a while, making you feel more and more anxious. His grip around your waist never wavered, his nails digging into your sides almost painfully.

“Ichiji, I-“ you started but he wouldn’t let you finish your sentence. You weren’t even sure to begin with what you wanted to say. You just wanted to say something.

“Take your clothes off.” Ichiji’s cold voice cut through the air like knife, a fearful yet pleasant shiver running down your spine. His arm left your waist, leaving you room to get off his lap. Slightly awkward, you got off and stood in front of him, feeling his eyes from behind his glasses on you.

Your hands went up, brushing against your chest when you started unbuttoning your blouse, trying to be sexy and seductive. With each button your opened you revealed more and more of your delicate skin, your fingers caressing your cleavage when the blouse was half open.

“I said to take your damn clothes off, Y/n. Don’t make me repeat myself again.” His reaction confused you. Normally, he enjoyed it when you played around a little, seducing him with the skin you revealed but today seemed to be different. His brothers must’ve somehow gotten to him. Maybe he was simply horny? You didn’t know but you didn’t want to stress his patience not more than necessary.

Pleased, he watched you get rid of your clothes, leaving you in nothing more than the suit you were born with. Then, there was silence once again. The room was cold, getting cooler by the second, the more he didn’t move or give you any more orders. You pulled your arms around your body, small goosebumps being visible on your skin.

“Who told you to cover yourself? Are you ashamed to stand in front of me all naked like this? Would you rather Niji or Yonji or maybe both be here and see you like this?” he got up from his seat, stepping forward to stand in front of you, his body heat radiating from him, drawing your own body towards his. You wanted to press your body against his, to feel his muscles against your skin but you restrained yourself.

“No.” you answered, looking up at him from under your eyelashes. The grin was still on his face but it was cold and calculating. “No….that’s what I thought. Bet you fantasize about them fucking every hole you’ve got until you’re nothing more than a moaning, sweating mess, begging to be the cum dumpster for them. Isn’t that right, Y/n?” his words made your heart ponder in your chest and your sex become wet. You rubbed your thighs against each other unconsciously, licking your lips at the thought.

You weren’t actually interested in either of them but the way he said it, with the way he was observing you – you couldn’t help but feel aroused.

“Liar.” He purred. Ichiji lifted his hand underneath your chin, making you look directly at him. “Do you think they can satisfy you the way I can?” he purred, his thump brushing against your bottom lip.

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, licking over his thumb in the process. “No.” you voice sounded raspy, your chest moving faster the more he stared at you, making you feel oh so vulnerable. “Of course not.” He said, shoving his digit past your lips before moving it in and out of your mouth.

“Who is the only one that can turn you into your true self, the needy whore you know deep down you really are?” He withdrew his thumb, giving you the room to answer his question. A quiet moan left your lips, your thighs pressing together. You felt how your juice slowly started running down your legs, being smeared all over your skin by rubbing your thighs together. “You are…” you whispered.

“That’s right…” he growled before pushing you back, you stumbled against the table but couldn’t react fast enough; he was already pushing your upper body down onto the surface, the cool wood scratching against your back. Ichiji spread your legs to reveal your dripping core to him. A pleased grin spread across his lips when he took off his gloves and brush his digits against your sex.

Another moan, this time louder, erupted from your body at the touch and your arched your back, lifting your legs up to place your feet onto the surface. “Whore…” he commented and pushed two digits past your folds; wet sounds could be heard when he started moving them in and out of your body, his second hand resting on your knee, pushing your legs further apart.

You felt heat rise up in your body, being so exposed, so spread open to his eyes and touch. Even if you wanted to deny how needy you were you simply couldn’t; the wet sounds your cunt was making was betrayal enough.

Ichiji added a third finger, curling them upwards, changing the angle this way and making you arch your back once more, throwing your head back in pleasure.

“Whose whore are you?” you heard his raspy voice but couldn’t quite comprehend his words. He pulled his fingers out, leaving you empty and wanton, with no friction to satisfy your needs. “Whose whore are you?” he insisted, his hand that was buried inside your cunt just moments ago came up to your other knee, spreading them even further apart; your whole body on full display for him to see.

“Yours…” you panted, moving your hips up and down, shamelessly begging for his touch. Ichiji’s grin grew even wider at your response, cockiness and confidence dripping down from his lips. “That’s right….and whose cock do you want?” he leaned forward, pressing his clothed bulge against your arching core, moving against your wet entrance.

“Ichiji….please!” you panted at the friction, moving against him in a desperate attempt to get what you want.

“Whose. Cock. Do. You. Want?” he emphasized each word with a thrust, his whole body seeming like a blanket that was covering you.

“Fuck! Yours, Ichiji! Yours! Now please….! Please fuck me already!” you pleaded, voice almost a whine.

“Just because you begged so nicely.” He growled. You felt his hands leave your knees, taking off some of the strain that had been building up in your groin area. You panted when you felt his hands between your bodies, his knuckles brushing against your sex again while he opened his pants, taking out his hard dick, a silent sigh escaping his lips at the gained freedom.

Instinctively, you inched closer to the desired body part, feeling how the tip of his dick already pressed against your entrance. “I’ll make sure you never even think about another man’s dick.” He growled before his hips snapped forward, burying himself deep inside of you in one smooth go, your natural juice being the perfect lubrication.

You moaned out loud, wanting to wrap your legs around his waist but his hands were faster, pushing your legs apart once again, his warm palms pressing against your knees. “Leave them open.” He demanded but not leaving room to argue anyway. He was in his element when he started fucking you with a rough and fast pace, the loud sound of skin on skin echoing through the otherwise empty room.

“Goooood-!” you moaned, eyes shut tightly, concentrating on the intense feeling he was giving you. “I love your dick!” you panted, moving against his hard thrusts ever so slightly, wanting to feel him even deeper. Ichiji watched your messy form underneath him, satisfied with you becoming undone like this. But he never doubted himself in the first place.

“Of course, you do.” He panted, the cockiness never leaving his voice though as he picked up the pace, ramming his dick into you like a madman – and you loved all of it!

“Ichiji!” you moaned, voice becoming louder, no shame about who might hear you outside this room. Ichiji himself was quiet but he felt pride at your moans, being completely aware of his two younger brothers standing not to far away from the closed door, listening to your lustful moans and probably jerking off to it – and they couldn’t have you which was the best part, really.

The more he hammered into you, the more you felt your climax build up inside your lower stomach, your insides feeling as if they were on fire, intensifying the feeling of his dick rubbing against your inner walls with each thrust. “Gonna���.gonna…..gonna cum….!” You panted, not being able to form coherent sentences anymore. “Already?” he chuckled, halting suddenly in his movement.

Confused, sweaty, and desperately you looked at him, heaving from the fast pace he was fucking you with. “Don’t stop….I’m so….I’m so close!” you pleaded, shuffling underneath him. But Ichiji didn’t move. Instead, he just looked at you, standing completely still, his dick still buried deep inside of you. Restlessly, you tried to move against his dick but he wouldn’t let you, holding you in placed.

Your walls clenched around him, trying to suck him in but failing miserably. “Ichiji….” You whined, your form a panting mess. You tried to concentrate on his dick that was filling you out in just the right way; just one inch deeper and he would press against your g-spot! Why was he doing this to you?

The more you thought about how good his dick felt inside of you, the more you felt your climax build up inside your lower belly again, moaning in desperation and pleasure alike. Ichiji watched with fascination how you seemingly still got closer and closer to your orgasm, just with him being inside of you!

“You love my dick so much that you cum just by it being inside of you?” he teased, his words finally pushing you over the edge. “Ichiji!” you almost screamed when your walls tightened around him. This was his cue; he started thrusting into you again, fucking you through your orgasm like there was no tomorrow.

“Ichiji…!” you panted, feeling how his ministration turned your whole body into one sensitive nerve that was about to rip apart. “I’m not gonna stop!” he chuckled, pressing himself deep inside your dripping cunt. “I’ve told you before that I will make sure that you’ll never think about another man’s dick ever again…”

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter two: Rebellion

Din Djarin x Reader x Cassian Andor

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter warnings: some brief angst, this ones pretty mellow ngl

Words: 3.3k

A/n: i was not expecting such a good response from the first chapter but bruh you guys are amazing- anyway here's part two of my brain's misery

Part 2/?

The trip from Mandalore to the planet of Dantooine was long, and still ongoing. We all took turns, watching to see if we were any closer. After each jump from hyperspace, the transport would stop at a space refueling tank, before slowly going onward toward the destination. We must have been traveling several systems across the galaxy. We had a few laughs, mainly while watching Gander try and steal Shyloh's food from his knapsack while he was sleeping. Most of the other time we all just sat in silence, up until this point.

"What do you think we're all going to do once we get to the rebel base?" Merc raised his voice slightly, barely capturing our attentions as we had all been dozing off, and Shyloh was taking watch at the view point.

"What do you mean?" I had asked, not quite sure of what he was getting at. I sat up straighter against the wall, showing my interest in the newfound conversation.

"What branch do you think you'll end up in?" He was in a daze as he spoke, almost unsure of his intentions of bringing it up. His dark eyes were nearly emotionless under his furrowed brow.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I would say maybe something like mechanics," I said, thinking of the best possible use of my talents. I'm sure there's plenty of mechanical help already assisting the rebels, but with the galactic empire growing it's forces by the day, they needed all the help they could get.

"What about flying?" Shyloh perked up from his seat at the window.

"What about it?" I asked, curious as to why he suddenly thought of the new topic.

"You could do it of you wanted to. Be a pilot, I mean. You have the skills," He told me, but I scoffed. He wasn't in any way shape or form was making an ounce of sense at all.

"Speeder control races are a bit different from piloting fighters against the imperial troops don't you think?" I laughed at the idea, but he rolled his eyes, persistent with his opinion.

"It's less different than you think it is. Also mind you, I never saw you lose a race," He objected, but I wasn't having any of it.

"That's because when I raced, my own credits were on the line," I joked, seeing what he would try and come up with next, only to be met with a cold hard stare, before an answer that would shake me to my core.

"Well, now the freedom of the galaxy is on the line."

My smile dropped from my face and I turned to face the other two, who were looking back at me. They didn't expect that answer either. Shyloh was well known to be a boy of few words, and only really spoke to his friends and family. He was a founding just like the rest of them, but he had been with ths clan longer, due to having been saved from a war infested home as a baby.

He could sometimes be very wise, even if he didn't think he was being so. We weren't sure what it was, but he had this sort of presense that was so powerful. We knew when he would walk in a room, or walk out of it. It's like the air would change. Much like it changed now, with his words rendering us all speechless.

The silence was uncomfortable, and I was the one who left it unresloved, so I spoke up in favor of my crewmates to not keep quiet any longer.

"Perhaps I shall see where I am needed first."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so afraid to explore an option you would excel in," He again rendered me speechless, and I did not have anything else to say this time. I was young, but my mind was not. I could comprehend thoughts the same way that an adult could. I could handle things just as well and if not better than some, too. He was right. I was simply afraid.

"I think we're finally here," Shyloh said, turning back to look out of the view port again.

"Its about time," Gander stood up, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and standing at the transport door waiting for it to slide up.

We all followed suit, but Shyloh stopped us and held up a warning finger to stay still.

"There's manding droids, we gotta sneak off carefully. They don't look like bulk but they could be armed," He suggested. We were not yet at the rebel base, meaning these were probably droids of the land, and belonged to whoever oversees the exports on this planet.

When the panel opened, we were all careful to first peek out of the transport. This planet was nothing at all like Mandalore, which was dry and hot. This planet was lush with plants. And the air was slightly humid. It was a very welcome contrast from where I spent most of my life.

We all sneakily bolted out of the transport, ducking down behind one of the cargo units placed outside. We saw an opening in what looked like some sort of forrest patch.

There was a chill in the air on this planet, even in the middle of the day. Mandalore only ever got colder at night, when the sun was down and the moons were shining.

"That was close." Merc mumbled as we began to turn around and head into the grasslands, trying to find the rebel base.

We made sure no one was behind us, and were careful to check if any droids had caught sight of us.

We all went to turn around, but as soon as I did, I collided with someone's chest, rather hard might I add, sending me to the ground on my bottom. I didn't even collide that hard with the person, it was just the shock that sent me backwards.

"Need a hand?" I looked up to see a man, a sly smirk on his face as he held his hand out towards me. I took it without question, heaving myself up from the grassy, and somewhat muddy ground beneath me.

"You must be our contact," Merc smiled, and the man nodded, turning and begining to lead us to a speader that was hovering nearby behind a large set of trees.

"We must be careful not to use names outside of the base. I would be more than happy to formally introduce myself once we reach our final destination," He chuckled. It was only now that I realized he had an accent, a thick one. Probably left over from his native tongue that spilled out his mouth when he spoke galactic basic.

I know that sometimes my accent slips in when i speak. I never had to worry about using Mando'a around my fellow crewmates. They were foundlings, and hadn't been raised to speak it. Shyloh was, but he prefered to use galactic basic anyways because he had forgotten so much of it.

We all boarded the speader, Gander and I sitting on the back, our legs hanging off as we held onto the side bars.

"This might be a bumpy ride for you two," The man said, looking at both of us before giving me a wink. I scrunched my face up, not sure how else to react to it. The man was definitely on the younger side, but I wasn't sure how he could possibly see an interest in me.

Maybe he did and I just didn't want him to. Maybe I was still hinged to the idea that I would go back to Mandalore someday and marry my betrothed. I was so young, and hadn't the slightest idea of what feelings I could possibly be harboring, if any at all.

I couldn't deny I found him appealing. Anyone would, at least any human with eyes that is.

His hair was dark, and so were his eyes. He had a bit of stubble along his jaw and above his lip. He was somewhat scruffy looking, but in a good way.

As the speeder went through the forresty stretch of pathway, I kept turning around to catch a glimpse of him. Each time I did I had to look away fast because Gander would give me weird stares.

I would play it off like I was simply taking in the view of the green planet around me, and he wouldn't seem to notice.

After a while, with quite a few twists and turns, and Gander and I nearly falling off the speeder twice, we arrived to our destination.

We all hopped out of the transport, following the man into a giant cargo port. As soon as I looked to my left I could see an X-wing fighter in all it's glory. I had never seen a real one before, just heard stories and viewed holograms.

"Alright. We have about twelve other recruits arriving on this base today, so you will all be attending orientation this evening. As for right now, you look beat, and should rest. PX-74 will assign you to your bunks," He said, gesturing to the droid before beginning to walk away with a nod, but I stopped him before he could take a step.

"Wait a minute... I believe I recall something about a formal introduction," I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight, trying to give off the look of having as much confidence as I could muster. I was putting on a facade, possibly to make me seem more mature. I didn't know the real reason.

He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he scanned me up and down with his dark eyes.

"Cassian Andor," He smiled, then looking right back at me with questioning eyes. "And how about you... you got a name?"

"Y/n from clan Maldrix," I said, my confidence wavering a little when he looked at me the way that he did.

"She's a Mandalorian," Shyloh perked up, and I sent him a warning glare.

"Yeah, sixth generation," Merc added, his cocky smile pasted on his face for all to see and be annoyed by.

"A mandalorian? I've heard the stories but I haven't ever met one. Are you-?"

"I'm not," I cut him off before this got twisted into one big lie. "My mother and father are."

"Doesn't that make you one too?" Cassian furrowed his brow but his tone was somewhat joking and humorous.

"No, it does not," I wasn't harsh with the way my voice came out, but I was firm. Though I wasn't one of them, the mandalorians and all they stood for were very important to me.

"Mandalorian is not a race, it's a creed. Some of the best Mandalorians I ever had the pleasure of knowing didn't even have a bloodline from Mandalore. They were foundlings, like these three," I explained, laying out the facts so that there was no longer any confusion lingering, but now there was a tension that was thicker than the trees on this planet.

"Even still, she can fight just as good as any soldier taken the creed," Merc jumped in, trying to clear the air, and thankfully, it seemed to be working.

"She flies even better," Shyloh mentioned, and I swore I could kill him. He was just so pushy sometimes, even with his massive sense of wisdom.

"You fly?" This peaked Andor's interest, and immediately he seemed more engaged towards me.

"I'm not as good as they say I am," I admitted, but he shook his head.

"No, really... if you can fly we could really use you. We're putting together a team for an air raid that's set to happen about one month's time from now," He came up closer to me and stared me in the eye.

"I'm just a kid, I might really let you down," I joked, trying not to get too caught up in his eye contact. His eyes were much darker when you could see them closely.

"I tell you what, I can arrange for you to have time in the flight simulator after orientation. If we feel you would be an asset, we can add you to the strike team," He said, nodding along to his words. I understood that they might need backup, and if push came to shove, I could maneuver faster than any pilot back on Mandalore. I never lost a race, nor did I ever lose a bet.

"Okay."

I could tell I was blushing from the extra attention I was receiving. I wasn't so sure what about me was so enticing that I deserved it.

"I have to go now to pick up the other recruits from a drop station. I leave you in the capable hands of PX-74," He said, returning to his speeder and letting us be lead off into the base.

"There are only so many open bunks left. Two of you will share one, and the other two will be placed with bunk mates." The metalized voice of the PX unit was strong in our ears, and we all followed after him as we ventured into the long hallway at the end of the cargo port.

The droid stopped at a door about midway through the hall and opened it using the side panel on the wall, revealing a young man that seemed almost younger than me even.

"One of you will be staying here. Which will it be?" The droid asked, turning towards our small group.

"I'll take this one," Shyloh said, stepping forward into the bunk to meet his new roomate.

The boy looked a bit frightened at first, but because of Shyloh's powerful yet calming energy, he seemed to relax almost immediately.

He turned and smiled back at us, waving before the IG unit closed the door and kept us going.

He walked us down passed several more doors, maybe more than twenty, before he stopped at another one and opened it up.

Inside sat a young woman, her legs crossed as she sharpened a knife with a smirk on her face. She looked up and made eye contact with me first.

"I wondered how long it would be before they got someone else in here." Her voice was somewhat low and raspy, but it was kind of soothing in a way.

"One of you-" the IG unit began again, but I stopped him, stepping into the bunk with the girl inside.

"I'll take this one." I smiled at the two boys left before the door closed on my new bunk.

I moved to set my knapsack down on the bottom bunk, but my roomate stopped me.

"Bottom one's mine." She said, looking up from her sharpened knife again to inform me of the sleeping arrangements.

I instead threw my knapsack on the top bunk, trying to climb up into it, but failing miserably.

"You need a hand?" She chuckled, watching my lame attempts to swing my leg up high enough. The fact that there was no ladder should have tipped me off.

"I'll be okay, thanks," I laughed, keeping my attitude loose and positive, though this bunk bed was already causing unnecessary problems for me.

"If you say so," She chuckled again, seeing as I finally managed to haul myself up and onto the bed.

"First try," I joked, and she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think that we would be getting along, because no one ever laughed at my lame sense of humor.

I laid back, resting my arms behind my head and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"So, where are you from?" She piped up, not taking her eyes away from her previous knife. That thing must mean a lot to her.

"Mandalore," I let out, trying to get comfortable on this lumpy pad that was under my head.

"Actually?" She seemed surprised. Everyone had heard of the planet that the mandalorian tribes had resided upon, and usually they understood what kind of people the place would breed.

"Yeah. Left just in time. Tomorrow's my birthday," I shut my eyes continuing our converastion with one less sense. It didn't matter, though. I was still fully awake.

"What would you have had to do?" She pondered curiously, finally looking up towards the bunk in interest.

"Well, to put it short... tomorrow I would have had to swear my freedom away. No living being would ever be able to see my face again till the day I died," I laid it out plain and simple, and she seemed to understand.

"How old are you?" She asked, her trail of questions getting longer and longer.

"Sixteen tomorrow," I answered, feeling a bit more tired now that my eyes had been closed, and the lights in the bunk rooms were dim.

"You're just a baby," She scoffed. "How could they possibly expect you to make that choice so young?"

"It's just the way it's always been there. This is the way," I remembered. Those words used to be said to me nearly ten times a day, and now they only rung in my mind as a memory.

"That's insane. The people on your planet must be crazy to take an oath like that," She muttered.

"You would think so... the strangest part about it is that there are kids brought back as foundlings that take the creed without hesitation. They don't even belong to a bloodline, they just feel as though they have right to the creed as much as anyone else," I silently remembered Din for a moment. He was the bravest, strongest, most loyal Mandalorian I'd ever known. A foundling.

I began to get bitter at the thought of leaving him. He could have made things better for me if I had just given him a chance. I had to let my head get in the way. I needed to think about something else.

"What about you, huh? Where you from?" I asked, changing the subject as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Alderaan. Born and raised," She said, getting up from the floor and dropping herself on the bottom bunk.

"You been a lot of places since then?" I asked, but she first let out a heavy sigh before speaking.

"Only too many to count," She said, settling herself on the bunk like I had done.

"Must be nice..." I muttered. Finally able to relax on this pathetic excuse for a bed pad. Of course I couldn't complain. I'm the one who chose the life of the rebellion, including their miserable bedding. "I've never been anywhere outside my home planet until now. I haven't even seen the entirety of my own planet."

"Most new comers are the same. They haven't been anywhere else, then they come here and its like we're moving non stop. Base to base, on just about every planet in this galaxy," She reassured. At least now I didn't feel so out of place.

"How long have you been stationed here?" I asked, unsure of how long I would get to adjust to things.

"A few months. It's likely we'll have to leave soon. There's rumors of the imperials knowing our location," She answered, rolling her eyes, thought I couldn't see from the top bunk.

"You're kidding," I scoffed. After just getting here, I might have to up and leave again. I'll have to learn to accept this new life, it's what I wanted.

"I wish I was, kid," She added.

"I have a name," I retorted back, not a fan of the nickname 'kid'. I waited for her to ask me what it was, but when she stayed silent I sighed. "It's Y/n."

"I'll call you what you are... now get some rest, they'll come pounding on that door in a few hours for orientation," She said, as though she somehow had grown to a habit of mothering me only five minutes after we met. I dropped the conversation and drifted off to sleep, my eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore anyway.

.

.

Tags open

A/n: okay so like i wrote this a while before everything with gina carano happened and i do not in any way condone her whatsoever so let's pretend she's been recast already...

[intheticklecloset]

Some Kind of Way (My Hero Academia)

ShinDeku AU

Summary: Shinsou begins to realize he may have feelings for Deku, and it makes him act so out of the ordinary that his crush decides the best way to help him relax is the very thing that kickstarted his feelings in the first place.

A/N: I am so unbelievably excited to finally share this with you! This one has been waiting in the wings for quite a while! Welcome to the first fic in my official ShinDeku AU! This story takes place after the events of "Say Mercy" and creates an entirely new storyline. While these two remain good friends in the Primary Universe, in this AU, things go a little differently.

I will admit this is pretty self-indulgent, but I know I'll want to keep writing for these boys, and what better excuse than to create an alternate reality in which they get together? Cute boyfriends and lots of tickling - what more could you want? I hope you enjoy! <3 <3

Word Count: 2,275

~~~

Midoriya: Video games at my place! Kaminari and Todoroki are coming – do you wanna join??

Shinsou stared at his phone screen for so long it went dark on him three times. He’d nearly forgotten that at some point he and Deku had exchanged numbers. Their spring break had just started; today was Monday, which meant that Deku’s mom was probably at work right now, as it was just after ten in the morning.

It really shouldn’t have been this hard to reply to a text. Yet here he sat, struggling to do just that.

It’s video games, Shinsou berated himself. You’ve played video games with him before. That’s what you were doing the last time you hung out. Just answer his text!

Shinsou: Yes. I don’t know where you live, though.

Midoriya: I’ll send you the details! Can’t wait!! :D

Shinsou set his phone aside, heart racing. This is ridiculous. What’s happening to me? He rubbed his eyes tiredly, his mind flashing back to the last time he’d hung out with Deku. They’d gotten into a tickle fight, which he’d ultimately won, but there had been a…a moment. When he’d pinned Deku for the last time and ordered him to beg for mercy. The way Deku had screamed the word over and over through hysterical fits of laughter…

He swallowed. It had been so satisfying, but more than that, it had been…cute. No, adorable. Completely, utterly adorable. Deku was adorable. And for the first time, Shinsou was noticing.

He tried not to think about it as he gathered up his things and walked out the door, heading to the destination the green-haired boy had provided him with.

*

Seeing him in person was so much worse.

Deku opened up the door with a bright smile and an invitation to come inside. It was the first time Shinsou had seen him without his school uniform or hero costume on. He wore a bright yellow All Might t-shirt and blue shorts, and he was barefoot. Shinsou awkwardly took his own shoes off in the entryway and followed him into the small living room, where Todoroki was already seated on the floor.

The icy-hot hero raised a hand in greeting. Shinsou nodded at him, then took a seat as well.

“Kaminari should be here any minute,” Deku said, pulling out his phone to check for a text from the blonde. “It’s so cool to finally have friends over at my place! Make yourselves at home. We’ve got juice and soda in the fridge if you want some, and later we can have lunch together, too.” Deku smiled so brightly it lit up the whole block. “Plus I’ll get to introduce you to a racing game that’s not Mario Kart for once!”

Shinsou couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He found himself noticing things more and more. The particular shade of green that his eyes were. The spattering of freckles across his face and arms. How scarred his right arm was. How muscular he was despite his smaller stature. Shinsou noticed all of it, and it made his heart beat faster and faster. Crap, crap, crap, he thought frantically. I…I’ve got a—

Someone knocked on the door, Deku hurried to answer it, and the spell was broken. Shinsou blinked several times. Seriously, what was happening to him?

“Heyyy, it’s my man Shinsou!” Kaminari greeted enthusiastically, slapping him on the back. “And Todoroki, of course. Ready to lose some video games?”

Shinsou let out a sigh of relief, then smirked up at him. “The joke’s on you, Kaminari. Midoriya says we’re not playing Mario Kart.”

“Dude, what?” Kaminari whipped around to face Deku. It was so much easier to look at him with Kaminari in the room as well. “You can’t take my crown away like that!”

Deku grinned. “I’m introducing you to a different racing game. Kacchan and I play it sometimes – Team Sonic Racing!”

“Sonic has a racing game?” Kaminari asked, then hummed. “Well, he is a speedy little guy. I guess it makes sense.”

“Team racing?” Todoroki asked. “What does that mean?”

Deku lit up at the question, then launched into a long, rambling explanation of all the ways it differed from Mario Kart, and why it was superior, as well. After a little while they finally got to the actual playing part of it, and before they knew it, the morning hours were long gone.

*

Getting lost in the world of Team Sonic Racing did wonders for Shinsou’s mind. He was able to focus on something that wasn’t Deku, for once – even if Deku’s character of choice did cause him a lot of trouble during the races. It gave him a chance to calm down, clear his head, and get back to his normal self. At least, until a couple of hours later when it was lunchtime.

Kaminari had announced early on that he had lunch plans with some others from their class, so it was expected that he’d leave after a couple of hours. But it was a surprise to both Shinsou and Deku when Todoroki announced he was also leaving.

“My apologies,” he said, “but I got a text from my sister that asked me to meet her downtown for lunch with her and my brother. I’m…trying to get back in touch with them, as it were. I can’t really do that while I’m at the dorms.”

“That’s okay,” Deku said, sounding sincere. “I understand. Go have fun with your family.” Then he turned to Shinsou. “Do you want to stay, or do you have somewhere to be?”

Shinsou’s heart was racing again. He was about to be alone with Midoriya again.

“I…I can stay,” he said, nodding. “If that’s all right with you.”

“Of course!”

After bidding farewell to their other friends, Deku led Shinsou back into the kitchen and opened up the fridge, pulling out various things they could use to make sandwiches. Shinsou got the bread out of the pantry (after struggling for a few moments to even find the pantry), and soon they were both at work making lunch for themselves.

“How’s your spring break so far?” Deku asked.

“It’s…fine,” Shinsou murmured. He didn’t really have anything exciting to report on. “You?”

“Great! I kind of took it easy this weekend because All Might insisted I actually rest, but we trained together this morning before I invited you over for video games. We’ll train again tomorrow, too.”

Shinsou glanced at him. “It’s spring break.”

“I know, but I don’t want to stop training. I’ve got to work as hard as I can to get even stronger.”

“Rest is important, too, you know.”

Deku smiled. “You sound just like everyone else.”

“Because we’re right.”

“I’m resting more than I’m training this week. Don’t worry, Shinsou. I won’t burn myself out.”

Shinsou nodded. “Good.”

“So,” Deku continued, expertly changing the topic as he finished up his sandwich, “want to play some more after lunch? Or we could watch a movie or something instead. What do you want to do?”

“Um…” Shinsou hesitated. Again that image of Deku laughing and begging entered his mind. He shoved it away. “I…I don’t know. Midoriya,” he added quickly, before he lost his nerve, “why do you want to hang out with me so much?”

Deku went silent for a moment. “Because you’re my friend? And you’re really cool! I think it’s so awesome that you want to join the hero course, and your quirk is so useful, especially with that voice changer thing you have now, and—”

“Useful?” Shinsou turned to look at him, surprised. “No one’s ever called my quirk useful before.”

“Then no one’s really known you before,” Deku replied confidently, taking his first bite of his lunch. “Mmm, this is good! What’d you make?”

Shinsou glanced down at his half-finished sandwich and reached for some lunch meat. “To be determined.”

*

When they’d finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen, Shinsou and Deku went back into the living room, where Team Sonic Racing sat waiting for them on the screen, should they continue to play it.

“Are you okay, Shinsou?” Deku asked, his voice gentler now. “You seem bothered about something.”

Dear god, was he really so easy to read? Shinsou cleared his throat. “No, I’m fine. I’m just…” He searched for the words. How could he explain to Deku that he was pretty sure he had a crush…on Deku? “I’m just…I don’t know. Fine.”

“You know, if you’re not up for video games anymore, we could play a different game,” Deku said. Shinsou glanced up at him, hearing the teasing tone in his voice, and his eyes widened when he saw the green-haired boy wiggling his fingers and smiling wide.

Instant. Blush.

“Uh, I-I mean…I mean, i-if you…want to, then…” Shinsou stammered, hating every word he tripped over. It had never been difficult for him to speak to Midoriya before. Why was it suddenly the hardest thing he’d ever done?

“Actually, maybe we shouldn’t have a tickle fight,” Deku announced even as he lunged for Shinsou and tackled him to the floor. “Maybe I should just tickle you! You really need to relax, Shinsou. You act like I’m about to bite you or something.”

“I d-dohohohohon’t – I cahahahahan’t help it!” he giggled, the light pinches along his sides and ribs enough to help him loosen up a little, but not enough to really make him panic just yet. He fell onto his back on the floor, letting Deku tickle all over his torso, drawing giggle after much-needed giggle out of him.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me,” Deku continued, oblivious to Shinsou’s struggle. “We’re friends! If you want to talk about something, I’m happy to listen.”

Crap, crap, crap! Shinsou brought his hands up to cover his face, growing really, truly flustered now. “I’m sohohohohohohorry, I cahahahahan’t – I cahahahaHAHAHAHAN’T!! NAHAHAHAHAHA!!” The violet-haired boy shot his arms down to try and shove Deku away when he reached his hips, squeezing with a wicked smirk on his face. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO!! MIDORYA!!”

“Relax, Shinsou~” Deku teased, swinging a leg over to straddle his friend and pin him more firmly in place, still squeezing his hips. “Sometimes it’s best to just laugh it all out, right?”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! GOD, MIHIHIHIHIDORIYA!! NOT THEHEHEHEHERE!!” Shinsou cackled, twisting and writhing on the ground. “YOU KNOHOHOHOHOHOW IT’S BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAD THEHEHEHERE!!”

“Why do you think I’m tickling you there?” Deku laughed, too, finding his hip bones and pressing in deeply. “Tickle, tickle, tickle~”

“DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHON’T!!” Shinsou cried, flustered and embarrassed but also having a lot of fun despite himself. He let out a loud shriek and kicked his legs when Deku focused on that one spot that drove him absolutely crazy. “NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! MIDORIYAHAHAHAHA!!”

Deku chuckled. “Feeling better? Feeling relaxed yet, Shinsou?”

Shinsou squealed, prying his eyes open just enough to see Deku’s huge smile, his bright eyes, his looming form over him, and the boy from 1-C simply could not take it anymore. “PLEHEHEHEASE!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP IT!! MIDORIYA, PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! MERCY!! MERCY MERCY MERCYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!”

Deku stopped, but didn’t climb off of him. Shinsou gasped for breath and looked up at him, still giggling, surprised to see a tiny blush on the boy’s freckled cheeks. He blinked a few times. “M-Midoriya?”

“I…I’m s-sorry, I, uh…” Deku stammered, blinking as well. His cheeks got even pinker. “Oh! I’ll let you go—”

Shinsou reached up faster than either of them could think and grabbed onto Deku’s arms, stopping him from climbing off just yet. He forced himself to make eye contact with the smaller boy, and when he did, what he saw there gave him the encouragement he needed to finally get this off of his chest.

“Midoriya,” he said quietly, “I think I need to tell you something.”

Deku swallowed. He suddenly seemed nervous, too. “Y-Yeah?”

Shinsou’s heart was pounding against his ribcage. “I…I kind of…like you. Like…you know. That way.”

Deku let out a little gasp in response, but he never broke eye contact. His cheeks went from pink to red. “I…I t-think I like you, too, Shinsou…”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Shinsou finally moved to sit up, wrapping an arm around Deku’s back to keep him from falling over as he did so, and when he was upright again the two of them were face-to-face. Shinsou’s eyes flicked all over Deku’s blushing features, from his shining eyes down to his lips and back up again. Then he brought his free hand up to scribble against the smaller boy’s side.

Deku immediately smiled wide, giggling slightly, and Shinsou’s suspicions were confirmed. “Ugh, you’re adorable,” he muttered, pulling him into a bear hug and burying his face in his shoulder. “You know that? Adorable, Midoriya.”

“I-I think you’re cute, too,” Deku stammered, sounding incredibly flustered.

“Only cute?” Shinsou teased, digging his fingertips into the boy’s ribs, feeling him jolt in his arms but holding him tightly all the same. “Wow, and after I just poured my heart out to you.”

“Ahahahahaha nohohohohohoho! I’m sohohohohohorry!” Deku squealed, giggling and squirming but unable to go anywhere or protect himself. He tossed his head back and laughed freely. “You’re adohohohohohorable, too! Plehehehehehease, Shinsou!”

“Too late, Midoriya,” Shinsou replied, grinning into his shoulder, feeling more confident now. He slid one tickling hand down to Deku’s hip and laughed with him when he spasmed so hard they both fell to the floor. “You said I was just cute. Now you’ll have to face the wrath of the tickle monster!”

“Nohohohohohohohoho!” Deku cried, giggling hysterically, but it was obvious to both of them that he didn’t really want any of this to stop, and neither did Shinsou.

So it didn’t.

[legguk]

Hi!! So,

it's my ( literal ) first time writing fanfiction, so I'm pretty new at this stuff, but Lady Dimitrescu is all I was able to think about for weeks and I >needed< to do something about it.

( If you want some context, I wrote this thinking “what if Alcina survived?” - Alcina's pov )

———

The fall,

The end of everything you once loved

Ethan Winters.

You woke up... somehow, you woke up. The frigid air hitting your fresh wounds felt like a jolt send by reality, as if one says "you're still alive" -

- and oh how you were starting to hate that feeling.

Laying on the demolished floor of your castle, muscles twitching in pain, mouth open gasping for air... that's how you are, how you will remember yourself from now on. A defeated dragon, a crushed woman, a dead mother.

You should get up, you should let go of your carcass and crawl your way back into the warmth of your home, you should—

—you should be dead, actually. Resting on death's cold embrace along with your daughters.

Daughters.

God, your daughters.

The memories flood your mind with a painful, unbearable reminder; they're gone, dead, crystalized - gone. They're gone. Your lovely daughters, your pride and joy, the main reason you'd open up your eyes in the morning...

...Bela,

Cassandra,

Daniela....

Their names are long cold, not yet forgotten - no, never forgotten - but somewhere else, as they don't belong here anymore; not on your arms, tucking them to bed. Not on your hands, caressing their faces. Not on your lips, kissing their foreheads. Not on your tongue, as you say them.

A raspy scream leaves your throat, it sounds disturbing.

You sob, hot tears trailing down your cheeks and neck, small cries for help find their way into the wind, disappearing with less importance then when they materialized.

You cannot recall for how long you stayed at that very same position, perhaps some hours, perhaps a day, but you are certain that at some point you were overcame by tiredness and collapsed - probably the best to do for now.

xxx

And so, rises the moon and the stars watch upon your limp body, the night howling a merciful wind and singing a melodic song. Grunting, you push yourself up with your elbows, sitting up and facing the sky through the hole you've made on the roof... and the levels above...

A huge carcass sits besides you, it's wings bended on itself and it's big mouth open to whoever would like to have a peek; you probably changed back into your normal body while unconscious... Now that you can see it clearly, you notice the damage that man-thing did to you... by heavens, how were you still alive and...

Oh. The castle. You look forward, taking in the horizon - the stars look exclusively shiny tonight - you breath in, the dusty air causes you to chough a few times. Stretching your neck a bit to see your whole house, you tell yourself it looks.. fine, actually, ignoring the broken windows. The broken windows.

It's cold. You shiver harshly, panting as the air meets your bare back and rumbles through your lungs, making you hug yourself, - you're naked, you just realized - the winter in Romania is truly kind to no one.

Your legs tremble with just the thought of trying to stand on your feet. You don't rush to do it either, let the wintry breeze take in your wounds, make it sting, burn it, freeze it; freeze your body along.

“To die. To die is to live. To live without them, that's torture. To live without their presence, absent of their scents, to not hear them, nor see their faces again, that's worse than death; far, far worse. How could I ever walk into that damned house without the heavenly sounds of their laughs, the tapping of their feet as they walk free, the steadiness of their heartbeats, reminding me that my own still beats.

Beats for them. For them only.

And they're gone.

So who shall my heart beat for? Myself? No, that wouldn't do. I will rip it out from my chest if I must, sacrifice it to any god who may hear me, all so I could spend five more minutes with them. Then I'd die in peace and find them at my arms again at whatever comes after this poor life.

But I'm here.”

You still hold yourself as you stare at a castle's - broken - window, new warm tears hanging the same trail the old and now dry ones did, a silent cry.

Your intrusive thoughts were abruptly cut by a loud noise from the inside of the castle, making you jump up, gathering all your last strengths to stand and walk a few shaky steps closer to home. The more you walked, the louder the noises got; a little rustle became a bang, and your tiptoing became a sprint, you hold yourself as tight as you can, ignoring the bleeding, the cold air spiking your lungs, how insanely fast you heartbeat was. You need to get there, protect the last remnant of them you still have.

The gates felt heavy now, even for you, who would open them with one hand. Where is your strength now? The fearless dragon who'd do anything to protect her house? Perhaps she died on that fall, and now all there's left is a shadow of what you were one day.

With much pain, you open the big doors, leading to the comfort of your house; you don't get in, you throw yourself in. The warm atmosphere engulfed you like a summer kiss on a winter storm, all you needed to ground yourself to reality for now. Grabbing some sheets laying over an old counter, you wrap yourself in it – oh, that's gonna get soaked in blood, but that's not of your concern now – moving incredibly fast for someone as hurt as yourself, you follow the continuous sounds that could not mean something good. The main doors are open, the cellar is unlocked as well, that idiotic man-thing couldn't even close the doors once he finished slaughtering your home? Imbecile.

You stand at the library's door now, suddenly frozen; you know what happened in there... do you really want to get in? Are you truly ready to face it again? Maybe you should take a step back and walk away, it would be the most logical decision to take now.

But what is logic when the heart screams? What is the brain for once your emotions take the best of you? You can't walk away. Put some honor on your name. Save the last bit of your daughter that fate is still conceiving you. Your chest rises and falls completely out of coordination, your fists close around the fabric involving your body; get ready, you're going in; gather the last bit of courage you have inside yourself and blast these doors.

And so you do.

You bring those pieces of wood to the ground, the only barrier between you and the reality you couldn't accept; a guttural growl forms in your chest as you see a lycan approach your child's crystalized body; you're blind with ire, sorrow, protectorship - you name it - and it makes you shout at the top of your lungs as you dilacerate the filthy beasts you'd bat your eye at. A bloody trail of corpses marks your way through the castle grounds, your claws dripping with fresh sanguine fluid - which you can't tell if it's from the creatures or from yourself - the crimson path follows you all the way to the other wing of mansion like a spirit who must haunt you for eternity.

You scream like a feral animal, blood soaking the once white cloth around your form; the scream becomes a shriek, which descends to a yelp, ending as a furious cry. You can feel the anger leaving you, like the waters of a waterfall; explosive, big portions of water falling into a numb, deaden lake. Hopefully those waters will carry you with them, you shall fall and sink at a anesthetizing lagoon.

You kneel, eyes closed, eyebrows frowned; a loud sigh fills the deafening silence in the air, your mind is blank – better, your mind is red, scarlet red mixed with black, ire and grief. Slowly, your head lower itself so you're facing the floor.

The big Lady Dimitrescu,

kneeling on a pool of blood, defeated.

•

“Lady Dimitrescu!”

Who..? The voice was so far yet so close, you try your best to focus on the direction of the calls but your nerves just won't cooperate.

“Lady!”

Who would be calling for you? Is your mind playing tricks on you now? And since when you were laying on the floor? Too many questions for too little answers. You try to stand up, but a sharp pain on your side made you cry out and fall on your back, face knotted in pain – perhaps your adrenaline rush was keeping you from feeling what was really happening with your body, and now you feel like you're betraying yourself for that.

A small figure approaches you in a fast pace, causing you to unleash your claws one more time and snarl at the not-so-possible threat; you were hurt. Vulnerable. Letting someone close was the last thing you wanted now. The humanoid thing backs away a few steps with your aggressive reaction, hands on their chest, visibly afraid – even though your vision is quite blurry, you identify their expression: scared, desperate, sorrowful – they call out once more, almost shouting.

“Please, Lady Dimitrescu, let me help!”

Ah... Help... The now clearer feminine voice washes over you - a wave of compassion - as if hope has found its way to your house again. Well, it better go away again, or you'll drag it out yourself.

“Out.” was all that left your lips, your intense gaze locking with hers, a silent yet not so discrete warning; although you had only said one word, it was well understood by the woman, who stepped away, eyes still meeting yours, a dreadful cast hang on her face.

Still, she didn't left.

Is that girl testing her luck? It can only be. Once again you warn her: “Leave. I will not repeat myself.”

Her posture stiffens, after a moment of silence she looks at the door, truly wondering about leaving or not; her body turns around, her knuckles going white from how hard she was grabbing the fabric on her chest – she's conflicted. But why? Who is she, after all? – A long, defeated sigh leaves her, as if she knows there is no choice left.

“Allow me to help.” A failed effort on trying to sound confident; her voice is full of tears and her tone is oscillating – it makes you wonder if she has been crying – The human walks towards you, trying not to make any eye contact; you can't stand on your feet, you left hand is pressed on your injured side, the other is open and directing your now extended nails towards her.

Oh how funny it is, no?

The predator being cornered by the prey. The dragon being trapped by the rabbit. How ridiculous it is.

Her extremely shaky hands hang in front of her, trying to say she won't hurt you – oh if she only knew it's going to be the other way round. – One step closer.. Her lips and chin tremble; Another. Your claws grow bigger, eyes peering through her soul; another step, your eyebrows frown, her eyes are teary. The last step - your blood is boiling hot, your nerves on edge; you are still the predator. - a slicing sound and a half-scream saturate the air for a millisecond, just for silence to overfill it once more. Red splashes over the room again, on your face, on your chest, but mostly on the floor, where the girl was thrown at.

An agonizing scream leaves her throat - what a miracle, she remains alive - both of her hands cover her face, blood spilling all over her; what a sight, you would most definitely enjoy this very much on another situation. She cries out in despair, making you face the ceiling and close your eyes, a tired look on your face – you just want all this to end, you don't have any more patience for this. You want to crawl back into your bed and starve, you want to destroy this place, make it abandoned ruins of what one day was a home; you want to kill that damned sickening man-thing, kill this foolish girl for perturbing your grieving, and then yourself.

The woman captures your attention once again, she is kneeling, her body facing yours, her right hand presses her ripped face, the other makes its slow way up to you, although she is trembling, she manages to keep her hand steady enough to hand you a little green flask with a yellow-y label; You look closer, 'treatment disinfectant' it says... Oh you can only be joking. You feel like slaughtering the girl right this instant, but takes in a deep breath and holds the flask, her hand immediately falling along with her body. Is she dead? No, her slow yet consistent breathing exclaims that she is still alive – you honestly find it a bit offensive – You should, but you cannot bring yourself to finish the human; you should end her suffering, but now she caught your attention; and besides, she wants to help, doesn't she? then the price she'll pay is staying alive.

———

hahaaa I'm so nervous about posting this,,, ,

and yes! It is a alcina x maiden fic! I do plan it to be slow burn, and if some you liked it and read it till here, please like and/or reblog and I'll post chapter 2!

( posted on Ao3! Name: “The woman in your castle” )

( chapter 2 posted!! )

[krispytidalwavesheep]

Hopes and Dreams III

.I am not entirely sure about this chapter, if I’m completely honest, so I’ll probably rewrite it at a later time. If you want to get added to the taglist just let me know! Thanks for your continuos support with this fic, it honestly gives me so much life right now! *** Chapter 3

“There seem to still be a few things you haven’t seen.” Lady Dimitrescu stated after you reached the sitting room.

“It’s not everyday that you see girls turn into a swarm of bugs. I’ve seen a lot, but I never said I have seen everything.”

“Which brings me to the question that I want answered. What are you? My first guess would be that you are a vampire, like me and my daughters, but I have a feeling that that isn’t true. Sit down please, so that I can take a look at your wound.” Her tone brooked no argument, so you did as you were told and rolled up the leg of your pants. You winced when you saw the true extend of the damage. Even with enhanced healing it would take a few hours to properly heal.

“My biological father was a scientist, who researched a lot of occult and supernatural topics. He was also a massive asshole who thought it okay to experiment on his own baby daughter, so there’s that. I don’t know how, but someone he got his hands on the DNA of some creature no one really has a name for, but I have a guess. The only thing he really knew, was that they are like Vampires, but much more powerful.

He injected me with the DNA when I was four, but nothing happened, so I was deemed a failure. He did all kinds of tests on me, to see if the DNA would activate, but it didn’t. At least not until he tried to kill me. I was no stranger to torture after he failed, but that night I knew he came to finish it. I was 10, and I was scared and angry, so much so, that something in me broke. There wasn’t much left of him after I was finished. 

I’ll spare you most of the details of what happened after, since it is not relevant for what you want to know, and I hate the feeling of being exposed when I don’t know if I can trust the person in front of me. I ran away and my benefactor found me and took me in. I don’t know how, but somehow, he knew what I had become, and he took it upon himself to make sure that I got the best training I could get. I can somewhat use my enhanced abilities, but I am not completely awakened. I’ll get to that part shortly. 

After 6 years I was deemed ready to repay the favor and got sent on a hunt for rare artifacts, as I mentioned earlier. I was free to research my condition whenever the opportunity arose, and I did. I traveled the whole world, met all kinds of creatures and people, yet no one could help me with my predicament. That was until 8 months ago, when I found the first real clue. But that clue came with a price and I have been cursed. 

I still don’t have a name for the creature that I have become, but I found an old text that explained a lot to me. My kind won’t fully awaken until they bond themselves to another being, that has roughly the same power that we have. That’s where the curse made things more complicated: If I try to bond with anyone that isn’t my destined mate, I will die. Slowly and painfully. 

And if that isn’t enough, the curse took the ability to sense my mate away from me, at least in the traditional sense. Usually, we will know our mate by smell alone, for their blood will sing to us like nothing else ever could. We would feel a strong pull towards them, and they to us, for our blood will be just as exquisite to them, as theirs is to us. The curse took that ability away from me, and now I am destined to walk the earth, waiting for my mate to find me. 

Another side effect is what I call ‘boiling blood’. When I feel threatened enough it will activate and temporarily awaken me. I can’t control it though, and that is the problem. It only happened once so far, and that was when someone I care a great deal for, got hurt. But I have it under control for the most part. I just don’t like it when people I care about get hurt, I lost myself even before the curse happened. And I do understand if you deem me to dangerous and kick me out of the castle. You wouldn’t be the first one.” You ended lamely and sighed. It always took a lot out of you when you talked about the past. 

“You mentioned that you have a theory about what exactly you are?” Alcina asked and gently patted your dressed wound. You suppressed the gentle shiver that wanted to roll down your body and said, “I think I am a Vampire, but one of the first generation.”

***

“And what makes you think that?” Alcina asked carefully. You pondered that for a moment, her eyes never leaving you. She could see that it took a toll on you to tell her all that, and she could understand that. Admitting what had happened couldn’t be easy, especially when there was the possibility that you would be thrown out or worse. Alcina didn’t plan on doing either of those things though, and she would tell you soon enough. An idea was forming in her head.

“I read a lot about vampires and had my fair share of encounters, none of them as nice as the one with you, so I figured it must be something like that. Whenever a Vampire turns someone, a miniscule part of their DNA gets implanted in the one they’ve turned. That is why your Maker will always be stronger than you. But since I got way more DNA with fathers’ experiments, it could mean that I am the first person who got turned into a Vampire of the first generation. And if not first, then second, which would still be infinitely more powerful than a Vampire of third or fourth generation. Although I can’t be sure, since I destroyed everything that could give me a clue, when I killed my father.” You said silently, looking at the floor. Alcina couldn’t help but feel pity for you. A bad hand was dealt to you, and you just tried to live your life. She also admired how strong and confident you were, even after all that had happened.

“I have an offer for you.” Alcina said and put two fingers under your chin to make you look at her, ignoring your blush.

“Stay here. You have nowhere else to go, right? You fascinate me and I want to know more about your abilities if you are willing to show me. And I could use a hand to help me in the castle’s upkeep. But make no mistake, my dear. As soon as you show me that you become a threat, I will dispose of you. What do you say?” Alcina asked, but she knew your answer already. She could see it in the softening of your eyes and the spark of hope that flickered in your eyes. You gently nodded and gave her the most brilliant smile she had ever seen. Both of you briefly wondered where that feeling of trust came from, you more than Alcina, but for the moment it was enough.

***

A weird sense of coming home fell over you, when you looked into her eyes, that had gentled with your consent. She could probably kill you with a snap of her fingers, but somehow you got the feeling that she wouldn’t. Most people feared you when you told them what you were, not all of them humans either. But she gave you the feeling of safety, no matter what your nature was, and you wondered. Could she be the one that was fated to be with you? Or was that just wishful thinking, because she showed you kindness where everybody else would only show you fear and hatred? You were immensely attracted to her, that’s for sure, but could she be the one? 

“I want to see the full extend of your abilities as fast as possible if you don’t mind. If it is alright with you, I would arrange a little sparring session between you and my daughters.” Lady Dimitrescu said and took a seat on the chaise lounge in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t mind. It has been far too long since someone has offered me a challenge, so I will gladly accept, my Lady. My wound should be fully healed by tomorrow, so we can start first thing if you’d like,” you offered, eager to show her what you were capable of. Maybe she will keep you around for longer if you show her that you would be a valuable asset to her castle.

“I would like that very much, my dear. But now is time for you to eat and rest, as it is rather late. The day has been rather long and eventful, not just for you.”

“Of course, my Lady,” you smile and as if on cue, the door to the sitting room opened and one of the daughters entered the room with two plates. You hadn’t even realized how hungry you were until the smell of the food hit your nostrils. The two of you ate in companionable silence, and soon enough it was time to leave her presence for the night. 

The guest room she showed you was like nothing you have ever slept in before. You were used to all sorts of places to sleep, but never have you seen a bed so big and comfortable looking.

“Good Night, my dear. I hope you sleep well,” Lady Dimitrescu said and left you to your own devices before you could answer her. You dressed down to your tank top and shorts and fell into a peaceful slumber as soon as your head hit the pillow.

***

When you next opened your eyes, you were surrounded by the familiar darkness of your dreamscape, yet something felt different. You could sense a presence at the edge pf your consciousness and soon enough, a gentle voice spoke to you “So you finally found her.”

“Huh?” you asked into the darkness, chills running down your spine. The voice giggled and a shadow crept into the edge of your vision, which soon turned into a girl, that oddly enough, had somewhat of a resemblance to you.

“Who are you?”

“You’ll have to find that our for yourself. But what matters is, that you have finally found her. My Alcina,” the girl said and looked close to tears, although she was still smiling.

“Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think that Lady Dimitrescu belongs to anyone.” You said, defensive of the Lady. That made the girl laugh again, and you couldn’t get over the fact that she looked so much like yourself.

“You are right. But she was mine, as I was hers, a long time ago. Listen, the castle’s magic is strong, but not strong enough to give me enough time to explain everything. Just trust me, okay? Stay by her side, no matter what. Protect her. But most important: Take care of yourself. She lost us too many times already, but maybe you are the one that will break this hellish circle.” 

“I-I don’t understand!” you said desperately, trying to reach for the girl, but she was already fading.

“We will speak to each other again when the time is right. Until then, remember my words. Please protect her. Do what we couldn’t do and survive.” Were her parting words before you awoke, drenched in cold sweat. What the fuck was that?

But no matter how hard you tried to grasp at your dream and its implications, you felt your consciousness fading and fell back into a deep slumber.

***** Taglist: @imdreamingblo @x-x-trixxster-k-m-w-x-x

[1kook]

dreamy

—pjm x (f) reader

summary; You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. warnings; ANGST lol, fwb, reader is very :(( rating; mature (18+) bc tiny smut lol  misc; small smut scene, a happy ending <3 wc; 2.5k

notes; i have to post on #JIMIN’s bday or else i cannot live with myself anyway here’s me trying to fit an entire novella plot line in less than 5k words clap for me except maybe don't bc its not proofread anyway hbd jimin <3

Jimin is a nice guy, but you doubt he’d make a nice boyfriend. He fucks you hard and fast, just as you like, but hardly goes out of his way to sprinkle in any other requests. He’s got a one track mind, doesn’t dwell too long on what you say or how you’re feeling. Doesn’t matter because he’s just supposed to be a fuck buddy, the hot guy you met at a party, so you don’t let it phase you. But, well. Jimin is dreamy.

Sometimes he holds your hand while he eats you out and it sends your thoughts into a frenzy, makes your heart pound a little too fast to brush it off as just arousal. He’s got this gorgeous smile, plush lips framing pearly teeth, and when he flashes it your way, it makes your knees weak. Tells you you’re pretty when he picks you up from class, always holds your hand on the way to his place for your routine fuck. Cute and nice like an angel, but just like an angel, he hardly gives a shit about anyone’s feelings but his own.

He laughs when you ask him to hang out that weekend.

“What, like a date?” he snorts, bare chest glistening from his post-fuck exertion. You're pressed against his side now, circling his pretty brown nipple with your finger. “That’s corny.”

You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. “Yeah, silly right,” you murmur, ear pressed to his heart. It’s calming and soothing, a slow thrum that contrasts with your own racing heart.

He’s not one for dates or for romantic things like that. But neither is he some player, a cheater, a two-timer. You can count the number of times he’s slept with someone who wasn’t you in your weird fuck buddy relationship, and all four of those had been when you first started sleeping together and only when you had been out of town. You’re no saint either, so you try to understand. He was just horny, liked getting his dick wet, and sometimes he couldn’t wait for you. Understandable, you tell yourself, but your heart hurts a little bit when he begins snoring without really answering your question.

See the thing is, you really like Jimin. It’s been a little over a year now since you’ve met, so you’ve had plenty of time to learn all about him. He doesn’t like pancakes for breakfast, prefers them for lunch actually, and laughs when you tell him that’s weird. He’s got this really dorky laugh, something between a bell and a whistle— it depends on the situation. Sometimes, Jimin likes when you play with his hair, and other times he doesn’t. He’s a sweet boy, you know he is, so why won’t he settle down?

You hate to attribute it to some past trauma, some “my girlfriend broke my heart when I was seventeen” mess, but the more time that passes you begin to believe it’s true. Jimin was a tough nut to crack, and the longer this drags on, the longer he ignores your feelings, you begin to doubt you will ever see them fulfilled.

Maybe you should end this now before it’s too late.

You don’t stay for breakfast the next morning, simply kiss him goodbye at the door like always. He’s older than you, about two years, so he doesn’t go to school anymore, just chills at home all weekend. “I’ll see you soon?” he grins, low-lidded eyes tracking the movement of your mouth as you bid him adieu. You never give him a solid response, figure a guy like Jimin will forget about you soon enough.

Then, suddenly, it’s been two weeks and he doesn’t reach out. Yeah it hurts, but it’s better than having confessed to him and losing him all at once. You’d rather this ending than the one where he terribly rejects you, breaks your heart into a million pieces, and throws you away. Still, it hurts.

Jimin was so cool. He was smart and confident, had a snappy sort of attitude that he liked to use now and then. He could be mean in bed, lick your cunt until you cried and call you a stupid girl when he wanted to. But that same tongue had snapped at a guy who was trying to pressure you into bed with him at a party. That first night you met, where you had sillily followed him home after his dashing intervention, you had thought it would be nothing more. Just a fling, just a fuck.

But then he was in your bed and in your head, twinkling eyes and cocky grin trailing after you everyday. He was so pretty and so suave, made you feel good even when he was being mean. But you suppose most cocky men like Jimin are like that. They know they don’t disappoint, even when they’re not really trying.

Jimin doesn’t call or text. You don’t see his car pull up outside your campus anymore. He’s gone and that’s that. You cry a little (see: a lot) and pretend you’re over him. You definitely don’t think about his soft laughter or his hands on your chest. Nope.

So that ends.

Or so you think.

Your friends say you’re mopey and sad, too down for someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend. It’s true, which sucks, but they honor your admittance by taking you out to a bar that night. It’s supposed to be chill and relaxing, just some drinks with the girls to soothe your aching heart. But the name of the bar reminds you of something, of someone you can’t reach anymore, and you don’t even know why. You’ve never been here before, never even knew this place existed. But everything about it brings you back to Jimin, like you’re in his space now, and you’re unsure why.

It reminds you of his laugh, his smile, to the point you swear you can hear it, right beside you, down the bar, to your left—

He waves.

There’s this look he used to give you every time he picked you up from your last class, this mix between adoration and lust that made your skin tingle with excitement. It’s not there now, in fact, it’s replaced with the complete opposite. It’s, like, the meanest look he can muster, something akin to a scowl. He smiles, but it’s so plastic-y and fake, it makes your head hurt. He’s so obviously unimpressed with you, probably because you ghosted him before he could ghost you. Maybe his pride is hurt and looking at you grosses him out. Maybe he just hates you.

Either way, eleven pm rolls around and you’re crying in the bathroom. Your friends are out on the floor having fun and singing karaoke. They think you’ve gone inside because you got your period, because that’s what you’ve told them. You don’t know how to explain that your ex who isn’t really your ex is out there looking at you like you’re a piece of gum stuck under his shoe. They’ve never even met Jimin. Why? Because he wasn’t your boyfriend. Who meets their friend’s fuck buddy? No one.

You sniffle, press a balled up tissue against your eyes in a feeble attempt to save your makeup. The bar isn’t that small, but neither is it huge. There’s only a few bathrooms in the back, and you’ve been hogging one of them for some time now. Someone knocks on the door, and you don’t even get the chance to ward them off before the crappy knob jingles and the door bursts open.

“Come on,” he grumbles, “you’re not the only one who’s gotta piss—“

He pauses, meets your eye through the mirror in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you blubber, hurriedly washing your hands in an effort to avoid his gaze. Jimin lingers at the door, which has long since fallen shut, and watches you with the eyes of a hawk. Your hands tremble and shake, fumble over the towel dispenser three times before you’re hastily making your escape. “Sorry,” you mutter again, head downcast as you move around him for the door.

Just as it cracks open, the music from outside filtering in, he slams it shut with a flat palm. You flinch, close in on yourself as he steps behind you. “What’re you doing here, doll?” he murmurs, deep yet careful. Tentative. “You don’t like bars.”

You know you don’t like bars. You didn’t know he knew that. “I’m with some friends,” you explain, jump when a hand touches your shoulder. “I— I’ll leave soon.”

A second attempt for the door is thwarted by Jimin. “Don’t,” he startles, breath heavy against your ear. “Don’t leave again…” he sighs, forehead against your shoulder. And then, quietly, “why did you leave me?”

Your heart syncs up with the music outside, thunders in your ears as you purse your lips. You don’t want to talk about it now, don’t want to confess to these emotions that drown you. Especially not when he’ll never understand nor will he ever care. It’s best to leave it as is, you convince yourself, slowly shrugging him off.

“We don’t want the same things,” you reply, eyes burning with the need to cry like a baby. But it’ll weaken your argument, make you look like the sentimental girl you know he won’t like. “It wouldn’t work anyway.”

The hand on your shoulder jerks you around, makes a gasp catch in your throat when he crowds you against the door. He’s got that same glare on from before, the one he had sent you across the bar earlier, and it makes your lower lip tremble when it’s this close. “You never asked me what I wanted,” he hisses.

It is then that you realize it isn't anger or disgust, but frustration that paints his features. It’s pure, unadulterated confusion and distress on his pretty face, furrowed brows and narrowed eyes pointed your way. You don’t know what it means, don’t know what he wants. “I,” you choke, weakly covering your face with your hand before he can see you crumble. “I just wanted you.”

Jimin deflates, steps closer until his body is pressed against yours, hands on your shoulders. “And you have me, doll,” he murmurs, bumps his nose against yours. “Always have.”

You shake your head, choke on a sob that bubbles up your throat. “No, not like that,” you stress, losing yourself in the emotions you spent so much time bottling up. “I wanted more.”

Jimin shushes you, guides your head into the crook of his neck where you paint his skin in dark mascara tears. “Is this about the date?” he sighs, patting your head gently.

“It’s more than just the date,” you cry, fists curling into the material of his shirt until it rumples beyond repair. He doesn’t understand.

Jimin nods, let’s you cry and sob until you’re feeling better and someone else is pounding at the door, yelling at you two to get a proper room. You don’t want a room, you only want his heart. 

He takes you home again, helps you out of your shoes at the door because you’re still sensitive and quiver like a leaf when you walk. His bedroom is familiar, smells like him and his detergent. You miss it so much, want to savor it once more. Something in your gut says this is the last time, this is just Jimin getting one last fuck out of you before he really abandons you.

So you cry when he sits down on the edge of the bed. He hasn’t even said anything, hasn’t even taken his socks off yet, but you’re already a mess.

And of course he’s there to catch you, tugs you between his legs to look up at you as if you’ve hung the stars in the sky. “Don’t cry,” he whispers, reaching up to brush away your tears. But it’s not your fault that he looks like that right before he’s going to break your heart.

He’s so cool, even when you’re falling apart in his hands. “You don’t want me,” you sniffle, let him guide you onto his lap. “You just want to fuck and that’s it.”

Jimin leans his forehead against yours, warm breath washing over your skin. “I never said that,” he murmurs. “We’ve been over this.”

You huff. “Well you never said you did either,” you snap, rubbing at your eyes.

You cry and cry some more, until your sobs subside and you’re left with the hiccups afterwards. Jimin maneuvers you beside him, lets your hair spill across the sheets as he lays you down. They smell just like him, make your head spin when he kisses your cheek softly. “I want you,” he confesses. “I want this.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No, you don’t,” you sniff, but you’re not so sure. It’s what you’ve been telling yourself for the longest. Hearing him say otherwise sounds weird, even if he’s saying what you want to hear. “You don’t.”

Jimin catches your hand in his, pins it to the mattress. “I want you to be mine,” he adds, swallows your cries of denial with his lips. He kisses softly, and for the first time, it feels like he’s paying attention to you. Not your body or your lust, but your heart. “Had me feeling like shit when you didn’t come back. Like I lost something big.”

You still cry when he kisses down your neck, over your chest. His hands pull your clothes off, carefully like you’re a present for him to unwrap. Those plush lips you love so much drown you in kisses, over your tummy and your mound, until they’re buried between your cunt. “You’re mine,” he husks out, hand entwined with yours.

His eyes are dark from down there, long lashes blinking up at you as he dips his tongue in the places you crave him most. It brings you to a shuddering end, has you whimpering his name into the empty air until your toes are curling and you’re coming against his mouth. Jimin has never shied away from you, and doesn’t know, sits up with a hazy look in his eyes as he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

Jimin wastes no time undressing, pushes off that sexy jacket until his lithe body is coming into view, thick thighs and lean abdomen. He slides right into you, holds your knees to your chest as he fucks you like never before. It’s slow and sensual, makes you shiver when he says your name in that low register of his. “Don’t leave again,” he whimpers, cock throbbing between your walls. He’s desperate today, ruts like you’ll slip right between his fingertips. It’s funny because you're the same way, clinging onto his shoulders until you’re practically glued together.

You come and so does Jimin. He pants against your ear, feels so warm and heavy on top of you. He doesn’t say much more that night, just plays with your hair. But he asks you on a date, mentions something about a carnival. “Yes,” you respond right away, because, well.

Jimin was dreamy. Maybe he’d be a good boyfriend.

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