#Angst WOOOOO

[swiftmitsu]

small angsty Dust comic EHEH

TW // self deprecation/spiraling, sweraring, suicidal ideations

please don’t read/read cautiously if you’re sensitive to this stuff ^^

[cartoonguy08]

Dawg how come most headcanons come to me when I’m in class

Anyways, was thinking about Scout and Spy. And I came up with something.

You know how I draw Spy and Scout with completely different facial features?? (Cartoonish factor but bruh what was I thinking?)

I came up with something.

Spy without his mask looks exactly like Scout’s face. Like, with the mask on he’s completely different, it’s a mask and it’s hiding his identity right? The moment he takes it off tho cartoon logic happens, and he looks exactly like Scout. That’s why he doesn’t take off his mask at all, and why Scout doesn’t wanna see it off of him. One glimpse and he’s gonna have an identity crisis. He does NOT wanna be related to Spy.

This came to me when listening to Tyler the Creator (you know the song)

Spy taking off the mask dramatically chances his facial features. In a cartoonish way, and a very deeply depressing way because Scout doesn’t want to believe it himself. I love making headcanons ����

[blushweddinggowns]

For years, there wasn't a day that went by where Tommy Hagan didn't wish he'd never met Steve. They had known each other since pre-school. They weren't exactly fast friends, but Tommy noticed Steve right away. There was just...something about him that caught his attention. Maybe it was his laugh or maybe his smile, Tommy couldn't even remember. But he noticed him.

They're not best friends, but they're in the same small group. He tries to talk to him, he may even be just the slightest bit obsessed with him, but it's not easy to get close. There was something about Steve that was just... intimidating. Maybe it was because he was kind of an intense kid to begin with, or maybe it was because the sight of him makes Tommy's heart go into overdrive. But either way, he can never cross the threshold from friendly to close.

Not that it matters, because everything changes in second grade. It's stupid he even remembers that.

But when Eddie Munson came waltzing in that year, he might as well have never existed in Steve's eyes.

None of them did, despite the fact that the small group of four boys had been close for nearly four years before he came along. Because once Steve laid eyes on that little freak it was all over. They were inseparable and had been for years. It took about a week for Steve to forget his name, and Tommy didn't know what to do with how that made him feel.

Steve looked at him the same way that Tommy looked at Steve. And it made him sick.

But then five years later Eddie moved away, and suddenly Steve was all alone again. Tommy had moved on, of course he did. He had his own friends now, he didn't need Steve Harrington. But that didn't stop him from instantly trying to become his friend again. It works, it even works better than it did last time, now that they had sports to bond over.

But the feelings were worse than they were in grade school. Tommy learned quickly that he loved his smile, he adored the sweet way he laughed, and he would do or say about anything to see it. But despite the fact that they're closer, something wasn't right. They never get to where he was with Eddie, but he convinces himself it would just take time.

Time he didn't have, because Eddie comes back, less than two years later. It takes a few months for it to happen, but soon enough Steve is right back to where he was a few years ago, following his every beck and call, and Tommy is back to not existing. He can't help but lash out about it.

He corners him in the locker room one day, hissing, "When did you decide to go gay with Munson?"

Steve shrugged, utterly nonchalant at being accused of the biggest social sin, “Who told you that?”

“Why else would you abandon us at the drop of a hat?” Tommy couldn't hide the hurt in his voice that time, and he hated how it cracked at the very end.

Not that it mattered. Steve didn't care. He barely even looked at him as he left, calling out over his shoulder,  “Believe whatever helps you sleep at night man.”

And just like that, Tommy was nothing again. Not that he cared. He moves on. He gets a girlfriend, new friends, and he doesn't let whatever weird feelings he has for Harrington affect him. Even if he's the one who starts off the rumor that their gay for each other. He only does it because it's true. Nothing more nothing less, and he's like his dad.

He's not a fan of queers. Not in his town. He just had to keep telling himself that. There's more than one time where he's close to proving that he's right.

There's one in particular, where he just knows he had been close. One day, right before practice he had seen Eddie damn near skipping away from the back of the school to the parking lot. He went back to investigate, only to find Steve smiling to himself behind the school, breathing all heavy in a way that just made Tommy's blood boil. There was even dirt on his knees for god's sake.

It infuriated him. But that was the closest he ever got to proving anything, and it hadn't amounted to jack shit. It takes years for it to actually really happen. And by then they're already out of high school. It's a weird night all around. It starts with Carol dumping him, at Lover's Lake of all places, not that it's surprising. He was a few days out from leaving for college, and the two of them had never discussed a future together. He doesn't even stop her when she decides that he should walk home, despite home being nearly five miles away.

He doesn't mind though, not really. The walk would give him time to think anyway. That's what he tries to do anyway, but all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt when he hears it, that beautiful, horrible sound.

The sound of Steve laughing. He doesn't know why he follows it, but he does. He follows it until he sees them, the Munson van parked in the middle of nowhere, the back door splayed open. He has a clear view of them from his spot on the sidelines, carefully covered by shadows.

They were cuddled up together, Steve heavily leaning into Eddie's side as they talked, "Y'know, it's kinda nice to get this for another year."

Eddie snorted at that, "There are stars in the city babe. But thank you for trying to make my failure have an upside."

Tommy watches, wide-eyed as Steve kisses him quiet, quickly muttering against his mouth, "You're not a failure. You're just academically challenged."

He does it so easily. Like he'd done it a million times before, and he probably had. Eddie just sighed, "Yeah, yeah. Potato, potatoe."

Steve kissed him again, and his second try was more effective at shutting him up. He ignored the comment, opting to lean back into his chest and point up at the stars, "Tell me about that one."

Eddie starts prattling off about whatever constellation Steve had pointed out, not that Tommy cared. He was still reeling from what he'd seen. Here it finally was, the proof he's always wanted. And the funny thing was, who gave a shit? He was leaving in a matter of days. High school was over, and unless he wanted to personally call up everyone in his yearbook to share the news, no one was going to give a shit.

It was over. And maybe that's why he can finally admit it to himself. He never cared that they were queer. He cared that it wasn't him. That no matter how much Tommy had tried to be close to Steve it didn't matter. He didn't choose him. He'd never choose him. All he wanted was to be in Eddie Munson's place, and he was never going to get it.

The realization isnt as shocking as he had expected it to be. Maybe because he had seen it coming. But it still makes him pissed. He hated Steve for that. Or at least he wanted to even if his stupid heart wouldn't let him.

But you know who he could hate? Eddie Munson. Because if he had never come back then maybe Tommy would be where he was right now. It would have taken more time sure, but at least he would have had a chance.

He'd always hate him for that. But one thing was for sure. Tommy was never going to let this happen to him again.

He leaves for college and tries his damndest to forget. He convinces himself that Steve was a fluke, an exception to the rule. Tommy was normal, he would be fine. With or without him.

He meets a nice girl, gets decent grades, and goes right into sales. They get married in 1990, their first kid in 1992, and Tommy has almost convinced himself that he's happy.

He doesn't see Steve again for years. Not until 1996. He's in Indianapolis for a conference, fresh off the plane. He stops off at a coffee shop, realizing too late what kind of atmosphere he'd walked into. The rainbow flags, the piercings, he'd somehow managed to walk into what was probably the only queer coffee shop in the city. Any other time he'd walked out by now. But he's tired, he's jetlagged, and there's no one here he knows to preform for. He just wants some caffeine.

He's waiting for his order when it happens. He's looking around the space, mindless and bored when he spots a couple curled up together in a booth, doing the Sunday crossword puzzle. It takes a minute for him to realize just why his eyes stop on them, but then one of them laughs. And it's that same god-forsaken laugh of his childhood, the same one that still sent shivers up his spine.

He almost can't believe what he sees. But it's them, Eddie and Steve, laughing it up while they scribbled into their newspaper. Steve turned his head to kiss Eddie's jaw once before going back to what was in front of him, playfully arguing over something he'd said. Tommy didn't know how long he had been staring for, but it was long enough to get caught. Eventually, Eddie looks up and catches his eye, his own widening at the sight of him. But besides that, he doesn't do anything. Tommy knows he recognizes him, but he doesn't nudge Steve. He just looks away and kisses the side of his head, his focus already back on the newspaper in front of them.

Tommy couldn't help but think that they looked...happy. A lot happier than how he felt. It made him feel ill all over again.

He leaves the coffee shop without his order, despite the fact that he had already paid. He opts to sleep his exhaustion off at the hotel, failing to get the thoughts of them snuggled up together out of his head.

He thought he would be over it by now. He was a happily married man. Two kids, a decent job. He was past this high school bullshit. But that same feeling was welling up in his chest again. That horrible jealousy, and a reminder that yes, he still hated Eddie Munson.

Because now he has to acknowledge it, a fact about his life that he had been avoiding for years. He's not happy. Not like that.

He doesn't see either of them for a long time after that. He's 49. Divorced. A good relationship with his daughter, and a strained one with his son. He's back in Indiana to take care of his mom, now that his dad was dead, though he at least got her to agree to move out of the pit known as Hawkins. They settle in a three-bedroom in Indianapolis, and it works, surprisingly. He had been so worried about introducing his mom to David, let alone them living together, but she adores him immediately. It took a few years for her to come around, but when she did it was complete.

Tommy loved her for it. And for the first time in a long time, he's happy.

It's a pretty snap decision to get tattoos of each other's names. But he did promise David he could have whatever he wanted for his birthday. It's silly and corny and something for people who were twenty years younger than him. But fuck it. You only lived once, right?

They pick a random shop walking him together one day, both of them laughing with each other as they picked out a book design. By the time they're up next, Tommy is in high spirits, which is maybe why he's so unprepared for who comes waltzing up to them.

It's fucking Eddie Munson. He introduces himself as their artist, eyes narrowing at Tommy. It takes him a second to place him, but Tommy recognizes him straight away. Despite being 50, the guy looks startlingly similar. The same long hair, now with streaks of gray. The same cocky smile, the same confident walk. There are some crow's feet and laugh lines on his face now, and maybe he moves a little slower, but it's Eddie Munson through and through.

With a brand new ring on his left hand.

Eddie doesn't come to the full realization until he has David set up in his chair, and he's literally sketching out Tommy's name onto the back of his neck.

He mumbles to himself, "Well who would have fucking thought?"

"What was that?" David asked, completely unaware of the history between the two men. Of course he was, Tommy wasn't exactly bursting at the seams to tell his long-term boyfriend about what a massive homophobe he used to be.

"Think I might know your boyfriend from high school is all," Eddie answers for him, eyes on Tommy while he disinfects the skin, "Though he was closer to my husband than he was to me."

It shouldn't have been surprising, but the question still escapes from Tommy's mouth regardless, "You guys still together?"

Eddie gives him a long look as he answers, "Since we were 16. But you knew that, didn't you?"

David grins at that. Of course, he does, completely lost to the tension pulsing between them. He's a hopeless romantic to the letter, "You've been with your husband since high school? That's so sweet!"

Eddie breaks eye contact, face relaxing, "Thirty-one years. We're one of those. But enough about me, how about we get started?"

Eddie makes small talk as he works, which just makes Tommy tense up even more, waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop, "How long have you two been together?"

"Four years," David says proudly, "Living together for two."

"Well isn't that sweet," Eddie mumbles as he changes the ink color, taking a quick chance to raise a brow at Tommy, "Who would have thought that Hagan would settle down."

"So what was Tommy like in high school?" David asked, clearly excited to meet someone from the past that he refused to talk about, "Were you guys, friends?"

"Not exactly," Eddie says, casual. Like Tommy isn't on the edge of his seat waiting for him to just say what he wants to say, "Like I said, he was closer to my husband. But they fell out of touch. Life after high school and all. Though I know he was a hell of a basketball player."

He leaves it at that, plain and simple, like his kindness for keeping his mouth shut wasn't leaving Tommy reeling. They finish their appointment in relative silence, though it ended up being less awkward than Tommy could have prayed for.

He doesn't say anything until David goes to the bathroom and he's left to pay, raising a brow at Eddie, "You didn't have to do that you know."

He snorted, "Is that your version of a thank you?"

"I am thankful but-"

Eddie interrupts him, "Look man, I just figured that over the past thirty years, you managed to change. None of my business to try and mess up what you have now." He says it with a tone of finality. Not necessarily forgiveness, but it's definite.

It doesn't stop the apology from coming out of his mouth though, "I appreciate that. I do, and for the record, I am sorry. About everything. I know it doesn't really mean shit but I am."

Eddie's face remains impassive as he hands him back his card, "Okay."

"And uh, could you tell Steve that for me too?"

That made him crack a smile, "Oh don't worry, he's gonna hear all about it. I'll let him know."

David was walking back to him by then, bright and happy while he saddled up to his side. Tommy waved as they left, hands interwoven when they went to walk home. He felt a lot of things in that moment.

Ashamed of the past, embarrassed for his behavior, and grateful that Eddie kept his mouth shut about what an asshole he had been. But there was something missing. That familiar feeling of jealousy and loathing was gone completely. He tightened his hold on David's hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his fingers, just to hear him laugh.

One thing was for sure, he didn't hate Eddie Munson anymore, not one bit.

~

a cut interlude for this fic that i thought i'd post here. It ended up closing too many doors of where the story should go, but I think it's still interesting.

[george228732]

This is an aftermath of closure. (3/?)

Previous - Next

[soberlovey]

john wick sillies ⁠☆

[wrathofrats]

I am here to request a part 3 to that Angsty SwissDew Phantom fic going on if you have more ideas 👀 -🌱

Yes I promise Swissdew make up, I won’t leave them like that for too long.

Here’s for everyone yelling at me to fix them. This is technically part 3 in this weird saga.

I made it worse before I made it better BUT I DID MAKE IT BETTER SO

(For those who are used to my usual insanity around here, trust me I’m working hard for October, I hope you’re excited!!)

You can read the first two parts here and here

They don’t speak for days. Swiss too ashamed of his actions to face dew, and dew is too embarrassed over his outburst to face Swiss. They both mull over the situation the entire time they’re apart. Itching to speak to the other but wondering if the damage had been done, if they’ll accept the others apology.

Swiss knows he’s in the wrong. It’s a feeling that eats at him because although he’s never been one that can’t admit his faults, this one makes him feel ashamed of himself. The countless mistakes that all piled on top of dew to handle and he didn’t even take the time to sit and talk with him anymore since aethers been gone. He’s barely made the time to sit with himself to handle his own emotions.

Swiss knows it was a stupid approach to try and ignore losing such a close packmate. The idea that if you never stop doing things you won’t have the time to truly sit with your grief. It’s why he’s been so clingy to phantom. It’s why he’s taken on extra work around the abbey. It’s why he’s been ignoring dew.

Dew took an opposite approach, something much more self destructive. He lets the grief eat away at him until he’s a sad shell of his former self because in dews mind what’s the point if his closest pack mate isn’t there?

He can’t act normal because nothing is normal anymore. It never will be.

Opposite ends of an equally destructive path and it’s no wonder they both don’t know how to act around each other anymore. Swiss doesn’t see dew in those less than firey eyes anymore and dews been convinced that Swiss has dropped him like a broken toy, too damaged to play with.

Swiss still sees aether in dew. Small pieces that put his heart in his throat and squeezes his lungs because he knows dew will fight tooth and nail for every last bit of him.

The books that stay on his night stand, no doubt being picked through night by night. Dew hoping if he throws himself into the literature aether loved he can gain enough of him back to quell the ache in his stomach.

The cologne he wore everyday has now become a room spray, the scent sometimes wafting under the door.

He’s even kept the last cup aether used to drink water in his room on the nightstand. When mountain tried to take it to help clean up the mess of dews greiving he received a long gash through his arm, dew screaming at him to not touch it.

And after all of this Swiss still never tried to help.

His stomach continues to hurt.

Phantom reminds him of aether too. The light in his eyes while he learns, the smell of quintessence, swiss realizes that that’s why he’s been clinging so hard. He’s been trying to relive his friendship through the new ghoul.

The look in dews eyes starts to make sense to him. A painful glare in their direction because dew thinks he’s trying to replace aether. It’s why he yelled when phantom came in. It’s why he freaked out when he saw them. It’s why he can’t even look at the poor younger ghoul. It’s why Swiss looked so frightened when he witnessed this, because he’s not looking at phantom as phantom. He was looking at him as aether.

It’s a hard debate between telling himself dew needed him and that dew was going to destroy himself no matter what he did to prevent it.

Dews also one of his closest friends. And even if he was going to hurt himself trying to cope with the trauma, Swiss is damned if he’s going to sit around and simply let him.

He hopes it’s not too late.

-

Dew doesn’t take the situation that happened between them well either. Already feeling abandoned by Swiss and then he looks at him like he doesn’t even know him. Dew feels like he’s not himself anymore. Merely a puppet or a cheap imitation. He doesn’t find joy in many things anymore, he barely leaves his room. He feels like a burden with his heavy emotions, like he’s too much and that must be why Swiss doesn’t talk to him.

He wonders if he was wrong. If he lashed out too harshly. Did he deserve it? To be treated like he needs magic to fix him? Did he deserve to be treated like he needs fixing?

Does he need to be fixed?

A fire claws at his throat at the thought.

-

Dew jumps when he hears a knock. No one really checks on him too much anymore when he gets like this. He’s assumed to want to be left alone.

“Please let me in” Swiss says. It sounds like he’s being crying.

“Ok” dew calls timidly. He debated staying silent, or even just begging him to leave. But it’s hard to say no to someone he loves and has missed so deeply.

“I want to apologize”

“You don’t have to”

“But I do. I hurt you and that’s not ok. Please let me explain it to you” Swiss moves closer to dew, tests the waters.

Dew just nods slowly in response.

“I’m sorry I abandoned you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was scared and didn’t want to handle my own grief and you got the bad end of that stick and you don’t deserve that.” He starts

Tears prick at dews eyes when he says you don’t deserve that, it should be an obvious statement but to hear it outloud is vindicating and more than he could ask for at this moment.

“You needed me and I spent my time with someone else instead of helping you when I knew you needed it. I still see a lot of aether in you, and it didn’t know how to handle it. I ran instead of being rational.”

Swiss looks like he’s crying too. It hurts to admit everything. How terrible he’s been.

“I tried to fix you with magic, I wanted old you back and i didn’t try to care for you to get that back, I wanted to do it the easy way and again you don’t deserve that. You don’t need fixed dewdrop.”

you don’t need fixed dewdrop

Dew hiccups at the words

“I’m sorry. I love you. I love and care about you so much and I’m going to do better if you’ll let me” Swiss looks back up. Both are crying heavily.

Dew just nods and collapses into the multi ghoul. He’s warm and smells of bergamot. The arms that wrap around him feel like home again and dew realizes how much he’s missed this.

Swiss tries to hold onto him for dear life. Like he may change his mind if he doesn’t.

The wound is still fresh and open but for now they just lay in dews bed together. Limbs wrapped around each other and sweet nothings whispered into soft skin.

Things haven’t been solved. But swiss is just happy to have his fire ghoul back in his arms.

[cryptid-lantern]

Some unfinished art w.i.p of pv, I'm digging on my gallery files. (Yes this is based on my au design, in case if wondering).

The only unfinished thing is the missing highlights and his lil funny flower staff is not there.

[pearlynia]

Sirius "running away is easy, it's the leaving that's hard" Black

And

Regulus "Loving you was easy, it's the admitting that hurts" Black

[sugahyeon]

He had always been proud to say that he looked just like his mom.

“Stop looking in the mirror Cole.”

Grief works in weird ways.

Cole spent his days in front of the bathroom’s mirror.

His father spent his days with his eyes glued to the carpet, never quite daring to look at his son’s face.

Or, Cole's only way to see a bit of his mother again is to look at his own reflection (and ghosts don't get to appear in mirrors).

[akdjsjjw]

Moving up down in life

[angeart]

hiiiiiiiiii so i came across help me to breathe and afshdgdhfhskdhsjsh i love it so so so much i needed you to know

hello! yayy thank you for telling me! i always get so hyped :D <333

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

It’s cold this time of year, and colder still when your closest family member is missing. Emmet may not be a frigid dragon capable of devastating a region, but his despair still matters. Sometimes a little divine help is needed to show you how much of an impact you have on the world.

Yup yup I wrote a fic based on the classic Christmas movie! Or the ending of it at least. Literally told my friend “wonder if anyone’s gonna write an It’s a Wonderful Life parody” and then didn’t wait for an answer. XD

Complete with my own lore on a fake winter holiday for the pokemon world!

This one is angst with a happy ending, and, if you’ve seen the movie, know that there are some scenes dealing with suicidal thoughts. Nothing explicit in the slightest, but just in case!

[2day4u-2morrow4me]

So supposedly we will be getting chapter 101(???? I think the math checks out. It's what I heard) animated this week and a new manga chapter.

Are we excited or very concerned or sitting back drinking mimosas and watching the fandom fall to pieces? Honestly I'm down for anything guys

[o0recipme0o]

i wake up on 2/2

i open tumblr

as the influx of 2/2 art unleashes before my eyes

[alchemicaladarna]

Fit thought he was always going to be the lone survivor; the toughened wolf, incapable of love. But then he gained a son and met this crazy Brazililan inventor, and for the first time, he had love in his life. Even when his son was taken away from him, Fit had Pac. They shared their grief through their blossoming friendship and were both healing from their respective wounds. They had love and they had each other.

Even in Purgatory; in this hell of a place- they had each other. But as Fit looked back at the burning shore, holding Roier in his arms as the man lost the strength to fight back, collapsing and sobbing in silence, Fit thought of Pac and Ramon, and all the friends he lost.

He was never meant to love. He was never meant to find happiness. It always ended in explosions and death. It alywas lead back to 2b2t.

[littlevandalist]

More submas angst, WOOOOOOO

Ingo opened his eyes and was faced with a forest. It was a familiar place. He had been here many times before. The rain pounded down on him, and he could barely see five feet in front of him, but that was the least of his worries.

"Don't look down, just don't look down" He mumbled to himself and tried to keep his chin up. He attempted to navigate the thick forest, but to no avail. Everything looked the same. Still, he couldn't stop walking. He felt something snag on his ankle, and his heartrate shot up. "It's just a root, it's just a root, it's just a root, it's just a root!" He tried to reason with himself, knowing full well that it wasn't a root. He tried to continue walking but whatever had a grip on his ankle wasn't letting go. His breathing began to grow faster and shallower.

In a moment of weakness, he looked down. He got to see what had grabbed his ankle. It was a hand. The skin and flesh had almost completely been ripped off the bone, and what hadn't been was rotting. He tried to look away, but he couldn't help but follow the arm. Even through the decaying meat, he could recognize a friend. His eyes watered

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I had to come home!" He said, trying to reason with his long-dead acquaintance. The corpse began to crawl out of the ground, with it coming two more. Ingo managed to break his ankle free and began to run, but it was in vain. No matter where he turned, there they were. Now, the water on his face was a mix of rain and tears. They inched closer and closer, backing him into a tree. 'Ingo' The voices hissed in his ear. He backed as far as he could away from the corpses, but they grabbed him by the shirt and hissed his name again. 'Ingo... Ingo...' He shut his eyes tight and prayed to arceus that this would end, but no matter how hard he tried, he could still hear it. 'Ingo... Ingo... Ingo... Ingo'... "INGO!" He opened his eyes and it was bright. A familiar face filled with worry was looking down at him. "Are you alright?" Emmet asked. Ingo only hugged his brother in response.