#And yes I copy pasted these tags from a reblog I made for another reblog on this post

[trianglesand]

Marble hornets x Slendermansion AU but instead of Hoodie and Masky being proxies they also live in a small cabin in the same woods and are constantly trying to sabotage the creeps plans. Hoodie learns Jeff is supposed to kill some random family and follows him there to purposely set the home security system off and Masky jumps out of the closet and tackles Jeff. They all run away to their own homes afterwards when the cops are called. The Operator/Slenderman could put a stop to it if he so pleased, but finds the shenanigans amusing.

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Girl At The Rock Show -9-[smut 18+]

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Characters: Reader. Jensen. Megan. Mac [o.c] Robert [o.c] Erica [o.c]

Mentions of: Jared. Alex. Josh.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Drinking, Smut, Unprotected Sex [no!], Fingering, P-I-V

You guys are amazing. Seriously thank you for every heart, reblog, and comment. I love hearing your feedback. 🫶

Please do not copy my work.

Tag List

Master List

Jensen

He felt the corner of her mouth twist into a smile on his chest. "Would this happen to be the same baseball game your nephew will be playing in?"

He chuckled. "Yes."

"The baseball game your family will be attending?"

"That's the one."

"Jensen Ross Ackles. Are you asking me to meet your family?"

"Maybe..." He teased, gliding his finger through her hair. "What if I was?"

"I would have to inform you that this is a big step"

He chuckled again. "Oh, I was not aware."

She giggled. "You sure you're ready for that, Ackles?"

"I wouldn’t ask if I wasn't baby."

She lifted her head, resting her chin on his chest she peered into his eyes. He raised his brows. "Whatcha doin?" he asked

"Looking for any sign or nervousness or uncertainty." She razzed him.

He smiled. "And how’s that going for you, darlin’?”

“I think you got a little bit.”

“I think you’re full of shit too.” He retorted, her laughter echoed through the room, making him smile.

She crawled up his body until they were nose to nose. “I can see a smidgen right.”

A soft squeal escaped her lips as he shifted his weight, rolling her on to her back. Hovering over her, he pressed his lips to hers. “Trust me, you ain’t gonna find any in there.”

She smiled. “Ok.”

“Yeah?” his face lit up

“Yes Jensen, I would love to meet your family.”

Jensen

He woke up with the weight of her head missing from his chest. His arms stretched, as his hands searched for her, but found nothing. 

He pulled on a pair of sweats and headed downstairs. 

He stopped and leaned on the kitchen doorway, a smile spread across his face as he took in the view. She was sitting on the bar, flannel pjs covering her crossed legs, sipping coffee, watching one of her drama Netflix shows. Her hair in a messy bun, wearing one of his Family Business hoodies. 

“Well good morning sleepy head.” She smiled at him.

“Good morning sweetheart.” He replied. 

She sat her coffee down and uncrossed her legs letting them dangle as he moseyed over. He rested his hands on her hips, stepping in between her legs. She took his face in her hands, bringing his face to her. He kissed her lips then started placing kisses all over her face, making her giggle. He placed another on her lips and reached for her coffee. Her eyes went wide when he brought the mug to his lips. He smirked and took a sip. “Sir! That is mine.” raising her playful tone.

“Alright, alright. No violence needed.” 

“Smart choice, Ackles.” 

He smiled. “How long have you been awake?” He asked, walking over to the coffee maker.

“Eh, for about an hour, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I came down and made a breakfast casserole. It’s done, just turned it down on low to keep it warm.” She hopped off the bar and made her way over to the stove.

“You could have woke me up. And shouldn’t you be more careful?!” he sipped his coffee.

She pulled out the casserole and sat it on the stove. “Shush. No high hopes.”

His brows arched “Says the girl who would drink A beer yesterday.”

“I had to drive.” She exclaimed  “Grab the sour cream for me, would ya?”

“I can do that.” He poked her side making her jump as he walked past.

“You’re really pushing it today.”

He laughed as he handed her the bottle.

“Do you have anything planned for today?” she asked.

“I have to go to the brewery and take care of a few things. My brother said something about going fishing, but I don’t know if he wanted to go today. Why what’s up?”

“Mac asked about watching Supernatural today,”

Her phone started to ring, she hit the ignore button as private caller showed on the screen.

“I didn’t know what you were up to.” She said, sitting her phone back on the counter.

“Am I not invited to supernatural day?” He asked in a dramatically offended tone as they made their way back over to the table.

She giggled. “You are always invited. I just know if you had something or anything planned for us.”

He took a bite. “Damn baby, this is so good.”

She smiled. “Another one of Mama Jo’s recipes.”

He playfully sighed. “I guess Mac can have you today, But I get you for dinner.” He winked.

Jensen

“So, I’ll pick you up at 6?” He asked her, walking to her car. 

“It’s a date.” she winked at him

He smiled leaning in to kiss her.

“Drive safe.” He opened the car door for her. She got in. He dipped his head in the car and kissed her again. “I love you baby.” He smiled.

“I love you too, Mr. Ackles.” She returned his smile 

Reader

“Hey.” You shouted walking through your front door.

“Kitchen.” Mac and her dad yelled at the same time.

“That sweatshirt is kinda big there, don’t ya think?” Robert asked you as you sat beside him.

“It’s her boyfriend’s.” Mac teased.

“Please tell me you're not back with.”

“No dad. Her new boyfriend, not really new though it's been almost a month.”

“A month? You've been dating this guy for a month and I don't even know his name?”

You chuckled. “It's Jensen.”

“Jensen? Huh. Not a very common name.  Where’s he from?”

“Dallas.”

“And what does this Jensen do?”

“He’s an actor.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Has he played in anything?”

“Lots actually.”

“[Y/n] would you like a cup of coffee with your interrogation?” Mac laughed.

You chuckled. “No thanks.”  She furrowed her brows, relaxing them as her dad’s head turned towards her.

“Anything else Robert?”

“Just 1 more.” He turned back to you, “When do I get to meet him?”

“Soon,” you looked over to Mac. “Last night, He asked me about meeting his family.”

You looked at your phone screen as it started to ring. Private number. You hit the ignore button.

“Oh. So, you guys are like serious?” She asked sarcastically.

Your phone rang again. You sighed when you read private number again. Robert held out his hand, you handed it over. 

“State trooper Goodwin. How can I help you?” He handed your phone back. “They hung up. Hopefully they don’t call back.”

“Let me grab a shower and we can start.” You gave your adopted father a kiss on the cheek. “I will check with him and see what his schedule looks like.” He nodded with a smile, and you made your way upstairs.

Reader

You sighed when your phone started to ring again, you pulled your shirt over your head and strolled over to your dresser. A smile spread across your face when you read his name.

“Hello there handsome”

“Hey babe, don’t be mad.”

“That’s not what you wanna hear at the beginning of a conversation.”

“So, TMZ was at the airport the other day.”

“Oh, of course they were.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just a picture of us hugging. They didn’t say anything mean. Just that I might have a new girlfriend.”

“Ok.”

“OK? You’re not mad?”

You chuckled. “No, I’m not mad. Kinda comes with the territory of dating a celebrity doll face. Did you really think I’d be mad at you?”

“Not so much me. Just the situation. I’ve had a couple buddies lose girlfriends because of it.”

“At least they weren’t mean.” A question forced it's way out of your lips. “Is it a bad thing if people know you have a new girlfriend?”

“Seriously?”

“Just askin’.”

“ Well don't.... So, whatcha doin?” He changed the subject.

“Just got dressed.”

“Booo!”

You chuckled. “What are you up to?”

“Bout to pick Jared up and meet Josh out at the lake.”

“Tell sasquatch I said hi.”

He snickered. “ Will do. Oh, yea, dress fancy tonight.”

You heard a soft chuckle, as you let out a hefty sigh. “Fine. But it better be worth it.” you teased. 

“Oh it will be.” You bit your lips at his husky seductive tone. 

“Have fun. Tight lines.” 

“Did you really just use the term tight lines?”

“I'm from Michigan, baby. You come out of the womb with a fishing pole in hand.”

He laughed. “I’ll see you later, pretty lady.”

“Not if I see you first, doll face.” you hung up, making your way down the stairs.  “Let the supernatural marathon commence!!”

Reader

You took one final look in the mirror. “Are you sure I look, ok?”

“Really [y/n]?! You are gonna knock his socks off.”

You glanced over your shoulder. The borrowed black dress did make your ass look good. Your eyes moved up your bare back to the halter tie at the top. Your hair in a classy bun with curled strands dangling out here and there. You let Mac go a little extra with the make up. The smokey effect she blended perfectly on your eyelid really made your irises pop.

“Be right back.” Mac was back in a second. Black heels in one hand and a silky black shawl in the other.

Fastening the straps of the heels around your ankle, you heard the car. 

You grabbed the shawl, along with your black clutch, and made your way to the stairs. He knocked on the door when you got to the bottom.

You opened the door, and you felt the warmth spread through you as the fluttering began in your stomach. His soft locks were brushed back, a pin striped, black suit clung to his perfect body. The first three buttons were undone, showing off some of his sexy chest. A big smile spread on his face as you checked him out.

Jensen

She opened the door, His brows raised, as all the air left his lungs. He shifted his weight, trying to steady his wobbling knees. God she was breathtaking. She always looked good, but all dolled up in that sexy black dress. ‘Good lord’

“Good evening Mr. Ackles. “

“Good evening,” he choked out. “Babe. You look amazing.”

She smiled. “Me? Have you looked in a mirror?”

He chuckled as his cheeks turned pink, sticking his elbow out  “You ready?”

 “Absolutely.” She slid her hand in the crease. “I can’t believe you drove the Porsche.”

“Well, a deal’s a deal.” He winked at her. She started to step in front of the car, his elbow caught her hand.

 Her jaw dropped slightly as a small gasped slipped out. “Now?!”

He smiled and held up the keys . She squealed as she grabbed them and practically skipped to the driver’s door.

“Can you do this in heels?” He teased as she released the e-brake.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Just tell me where to go, Ackles.”

Jensen

“Not too shabby darlin’,” He held his elbow out again as she made her way around the car. “At least the tires are ok.” She sighed, making him chuckle.

“Good evening.” The valet greeted, as he approached.

“Evenin’.” Jensen said, handing the keys to the man.

Jensen opened the she let out a small whistle as she walked through it. “This place sure is fancy.” She spoke in a whispered southern accent making him chuckle.

“Reservation for 2. Under Ackles.” he told the hostess.

Right this way Mr. and Mrs. Ackles. He smirked at (y/n) not correcting the young lady. His hand automatically went to the small of her back as she followed the hostess. She glanced over at him as his hand slid down further. “Sorry,” she smiled.

 Jensen slid her chair out for her and slid it back in. He sat in the seat beside her.

“Your waiter will be with you shortly, here’s the wine list if you need anything just let us know.”

“Ok thank you” the young lady walked away. Jensen grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers  “Well Mrs. Ackles,”

 Her smile fell. “You should have corrected her”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He brought her hand to his lips kissing the back of it. She shook her head with a smile.

“Can I get you started with a drink from the bar, or we have a nice 1982 Chateau Margaux on the list tonight?” The waiter asked as he approached.

“No thank you, water is fine.” Jensen looked over to her.

“Same. Extra lemon please.” She told the waiter. He nodded and walked away. Her face turned to Jensen with a confused look “You’re not drinking tonight?”

“Nope.” He affirmed.

The waiter brought back the waters with extra lemons on the side “Are we ready to order?” Jensen looked over to you

You go first he chuckled “I’ll have the 12 oz New York strip medium, no sauce or toppings, with the Yukon gold pommes purée.”

The waiter looked over to her. “Can I have an 8 oz tenderloin filet, well done, no sauce or toppings, with steak fries please.”

“Of course. We will have it out shortly.” He took your menus and walked away,

Jensen smiled. 

“What?” she asked.

“Fries?”

“Steak fries. I got a steak.”

He laughed. “Touché.”

“So  did y’all catch anything?”

“Jack and shit, but it was really nice to hang out with my brothers, Josh is excited to meet you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, especially after Jared’s review.”

“What can I say, I'm pretty awesome.”

He chuckled. “You’re not wrong.” He took another drink of water. “How was your day?”

“Good. Mac’s dad was at the house when I got there today.”

“How’d that go?”

“Well, I had to explain the oversized hoodie. Which led to him asking when he gets to meet you.”

“And you told him…?”

“That I would ask you about it and see what your schedule looks like.”

“Should be easy to set something up. Not a whole lot going on right now.”

“I can’t wait to see his face when he meets you.”

“You didn’t tell it was the guy from the show his daughter is obsessed with?”

She chuckled. “Like he would have believed me.”

Jensen opened his mouth but was cut off by the food.

Jensen

“That was amazing, babe.” she said walking out the door.

Recognizing him the valet nodded and walked off. Jensen stayed silent, his eyes looking into the distance. 

“Are you really giving me the cold shoulder right now?”  she asked, looking up at him and tilting her head. He couldn’t stop his eyes from glancing down at her, she was so damn cute.

 “And how long do you think that’s really going to last Mr. Ackles.” She stepped in front of him and slid her hands up his chest. He felt the anger melt away as her arms wrapped around his neck. He leaned in to kiss her as her lips got close she leaned back slightly aching her brow. “You gotta talk to me to get kisses.”

His eyes narrowed. “Fine, but next time you pay the bill behind my back, I’m gonna bend you over my knee.”

“I can’t wait.” She challenged, making him smile.

Reader

The only light in the dark house came from the flickering tealight candles that led up the stairs. You flashed him a smile and took his hand, following the trail laid out for you. You pushed the bedroom open, and your eyes filled with tears as they scanned the room. The glow of the dancing flames filled the room while soft country music played in the background. You stepped in and your eyes found the rose petals scattered on the bed and some arranged in a heart making you laugh out loud.

"That was Jared's idea, he said it was classy and romantic. I told him it was cheesy and cliche. He said if anything you would get a good laugh out of it. You can destroy it if you want."

"Absolutely not. It's beautiful." you said in a dramatic tone making him smile.

He swaggered over to you. “Not compared to you.” He matched your tone, making you laugh again. His arms wrapped around your waist as his lips found yours. Yours found their way around his neck. His hold tightened as your feet left the ground, deepening the kiss. He returned your feet to the ground; you rested your head on his shoulder as your hips swayed with his. 

You stepped back, sliding your hands back down to his chest, pushing the suit jacket they made their way to his shoulders, your eyes followed it as you pushed down his arms, you brought your eyes back to his as it fell to the floor. His viridian gaze locked onto yours as his fingers found the small zipper on your hip and pulled it down. His fingers gliding up your back raising goosebumps, his fingers gripped the dangling end of the halter tie and pulled. The dress fell to the floor, you brought your lips to his as your fingers started undoing the buttons on his shirt. His fingers grasped your ass as his tongue pushed past your lips, making your fingers fumble with the last button. He chuckled softly against your mouth. 

You unbuttoned his pants as he slid his shirt off, a groan left his lips when your fingers brushed against his length, as you slowly pulled the zipper down. He shimmied out of his pants, making you giggle. A small yelp left your lips as he grabbed you up and took you over to the bed.

He smiled as he loomed over you. He brought his lips close to your ear. “You really are beautiful.” His hot breath sent shivers down your spine. He trailed kisses down your neck, going up the other side once he got to the hollow of your throat. Finding your other ear. “Just perfect.” His words made you smile. He thrusted his hips, brushing his hard shaft against you, muffling your whimpers with his lips. You walls clenched as he took your breast in his grasp, kneading gently. His fingers wandered down, finding your clothed clit. You moaned as he started tracing circles, his lips found your ear again. “And those sexy little noises you make mmm.”

He pushed your black lace thong aside, your core throbbed as his fingertips teased your entrance. He groaned, feeling how wet you were for him already. He slowly slid 2 fingers inside you, making another moan escape you.

His fingers started pumping in and out as he rose to his knees. He bit his lip, watching your hips writhe in pleasure.

You felt the tension in your stomach as the pleasure rippled through your body, he smirked and began to pump them faster. Making your walls clench around his fingers as the tension reached its peak. 

You heard him groan as he curled his fingers, as soon as he hit your spot the tension snapped and your moans echoed through the room as your orgasm crashed over you. He slowed his fingers, as your walls pulsated. 

Bringing his fingers to his mouth he moaned as he tasted your sweet juices, licking them clean. He pushed his boxers down and fell back on top of you, his arms catching his weight just before he crushed you, he laughed in response to your giggles. His thumb stroked your chin, as he stared.

“What?” you asked with warm cheeks.

He smiled. “Nothin’.” He leaned down, his lips hungry lips captured yours. Your hands slid up his back as he lined his tip to your entrance. Your fingers gripped, as he moaned you named burying himself inside you. You could feel his cock throb against your walls as he stretched them.

“You ready baby.?” He asked, kissing your jawline.

“Yes.” You whined.

He drew his hips back, pleasure coursed through you again as he thrust back inside you, praising him with moans of his name. Your nails dug into his back as he increased his speed, causing him to thrust harder.

 Heavy pants and moans filled the room as your walls started tightening  around him, the tension almost to its peak again. “Jensen.” You whispered.

“I know baby,” he pounded harder. “Come on. I wanna feel it.” He groaned, nibbling at your neck.

Your release crashed over you again, sending shock waves of bliss through you. He pushed you as far as he could and with a loud moan he pulled out. You felt the warm liquid ooze on your stomach as he kissed your lips and then nuzzled your nose with his.

5“You know if we used condoms this whole clean up thing would be easier.” You smiled at him as he dried your stomach.

“Or I could just cum inside you.” your jaw dropped. A grin stretched across his face as his eyebrows jumped “Yea that shut you up.” he teased.

Reader

You finished brushing your teeth and turned the light out and stopping in the doorway, staring with adoration, he laid there on his back, arm resting across his forehead, his chiseled chest on display, boxers pulled low enough to display that v he had, his socked toes wiggling along to the music that was still playing.

His eyebrows raised as he looked over at you. “Can I help you?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

A smile spread across his face “You gonna come cuddle or just stand over there like a creeper all night?”

Jensen

He watched as she took a bite of bacon. “So?” He asked 

She smiled. “Close, but no cigar baby.” His face scrunched. “Still delicious though.”

“You could just tell me ya know?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”  she teased, making him laugh. “Do you have anything exciting today?”

“Depends on what you call exciting, The first half of my day will be spent on a zoom meeting, probably gonna be a lot of them in the next few weeks while we get scheduling and all the final details for countdown. And then I’m going to the brewery to do an inventory check and make sure everything we need is on order.”

“Never a dull day with you.”

“Nope, What’s on your schedule today?”

“Well let’s see.” She pulled her phone out and signed into her office’s daily schedule app. “I have a newborn checkup, a 3-year checkup, an ear recheck for a 7-year-old, a sports physical for a 12-year-old, and another newborn checkup. So far. If calls come in, they schedule with whoever is available.” 

“So, what do you do if you don't have time spots filled?”

“Charting, help other doctors, help any nurses if they need it, just whatever needs done. Around the office. “

“Never a dull day”

“Nope.” She smiled. “I’ll ask Erica today. What day were you thinking?”

“Either Wednesday or Friday. You don’t go in on Thursdays, right?”

“No, that’s my on-call day.”

“Noted.”

“So, I’ll meet you at your place when I get done?” he asked, walking to the driver side of your car.

“Sounds good.”

He laughed “Alright drive safe baby I love you”

“I love you too” She stretched on her tip toes and kissed him

Reader

“So, the 2 newborn checkup mamas left great reviews for you today.” Erica told you as she walked across the lot with you. “Keep up the good work y/n!”

“Will do boss. Have a good night.” you told her reaching for your door handle. 

“You, too.”

You sat down in your car and started it. You waved as Erica drove by you. Thinking about the kids you helped today, as you pulled out of the parking lot your mind began to wander. 

If you had a baby, would he look just like Jensen? He would be such a good dad. You smiled as you pictured it. He’s holding a little bundle of joy, swaddled in a blue blanket, bright green eyes just like his daddy. The proudest smile on Jensen’s face.

“Lucy, I’m home.” You yelled walking through the front door.

Mac sat in the recliner on her phone. “Hey babe.” She giggled. “Not you. y/n just walked in.” you nodded at her and walked into the kitchen.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket when it started to ring. Your smile turned into a frown as you read, private caller. You hit the red icon and laid your phone on the counter. You opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water, Mac walked in and sat down at the bar. You swung the fridge door closed.

“Alex says hi.” She smiled.

“So, that’s a thing now?”

“Kinda, maybe, we’ll see.” She Stammered making you chuckle. “He did invite me to the Dallas convention.”

“That sounds fun!!”

She got up and got into the fridge. “Beer?”

“No thanks.” you held up your water 

 She peered at you, closing the fridge door. 

“What?”

“I have a question for ya.”

Your brows arched.

“Are you...” she hesitated. “Never mind.”

You sighed, “Probably not, but I would feel horrible if I was and I drank.”

“Hm. Well it’s kind of bad timing.”

“Well, it’s not like I planned it.”

“Did you use protection?” your face scrunched as you looked down. She signed.

Reader.

You popped your head out of the closet when you heard your bedroom door open. Jensen had his phone to his ear. He blew you a kiss and held up a finger.  You nodded and went back to getting dressed.

“No. It’s not like that.”

“I know, but you don’t need to.”

You walked out of your closet, finding him sitting on the edge of your bed. He looked up and winked at you.

“I’ll take care of it. I gotta go.”

“Just don’t worry about it.”

“Bye.”

“Baby!!” he exclaimed

“Well, that sounded intense.” You commented.

“Eh, just work stuff.”

You knew he was lying. “How was your day?”

He motioned you over, hugging around your waist once you got close. “Better now.”

“Hey guys!” you heard Mac yell through your door as she knocked.

“Yea.” You answered.

“Have you seen this?” she held her phone up as she approached you.

She had a TMZ article pulled up. You read the headline under the photo of you and Jensen from the previous night outside the restaurant “Jensen Ackles Remarried?”

You felt him tense.

“I told you; you should have corrected her.”

“Oh man, can you imagine, if you were showing.” Mac remarked.

“So, we are telling people now?”

“Not people. Mac. And she figured it out.”

“Still.”

“Still nothing. At least I didn’t lie to your face.”

He scoffed. “And when did I lie to your face, sweetheart?”

“Just work stuff?”

His phone started to ring, a different ringtone than usual. He raised it to his ear, holding your stare. “Hey mama.”

Jensen

He felt a pang in his chest as he watched her sleep, curled up on her side facing the other direction.

He didn’t know if it would help or hurt if he cuddled up behind her, so he stayed on his back where he was.

His phone started to vibrate. “Hi Megan,” he whispered.

“Hey Jensen, can you talk?”

“I can whisper.” His voice soft, still watching her.

“That works. So, we got TMZ to retract the article, but it’s out there. Everyone is talking about it on social media. “

“So how do I make this better?”

“Jay, I know you love her, but there’s only one way to completely keep her out of all this.”

“Not an option.”

“I know. I’m just sayin.”

“No.”

“Ok, well then you need to embrace it. Introduce her to your fans, do a live, take her to the Dallas con. Let your fans get the chance to know her. Show them why you love her.”

“And the paparazzi?”

“Well, it kinda comes with the territory of being with a celebrity.”

“That’s what she said when the first pictured got out.”

“See she gets it. I think she will be fine.”

“Ok, ill call you tomorrow and you can help me set up the live.”

“Alright. Get some sleep Jay, everything is going to be ok.”

“Thanks Meg.” He sat his phone on her nightstand after he hung up.

She rolled over. “Did you get everything sorted out?”

“I thought you were asleep.”

“In and out.”

“You know what might help?”

She chuckled and scooted closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He left out a sigh of relief.  ‘That’s better.’

“Are you still mad?” he asked his fingers finding her hair.

“Are you gonna tell me who was on the other end of that phone call?”

He clicked his tongue. “It was Heather.”

He felt her muscles tense up. “As in your ex?”

“Yes. She just wanted to make sure.”

“You weren’t married to a gold digger.” She cut him off.

“I told her it wasn’t like that.”

“Yeah, but that’s what everyone is thinking.”

“The important people know it’s not true. I’m sorry about all this and for lying, I was just trying to keep my drama away from you.”

“Jensen, if we are going to do this its not just your drama. We face everything together. No matter what. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“And don’t freaking lie to me again about anything.”

“I promise baby.” He kissed the top of her head.  “Megan and I have a plan to make this better. It includes a Supernatural con if you’re interested.”

“Uh absolutely.”

He peered into her eye as his fingers lifted her chin. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for an uncertainty.”

She laughed. “You won’t find any in there, doll face.”

Tag List

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@phoenixqueen @spxideyver

[ariadnew]

Hello, friends of Tumblr!

How would you feel about doing a little character questionnaire? A very easy, very straightforward one, where you simply bold your answers; minimal thinking required. You might even enjoy it (wouldn't that be shocking?) I thought it might be a nice, gentle way for people who are interested in character development, collaborating and/or storytelling but aren't sure how to proceed or are daunted by the prospect to dip their toes into the water... or a nice distraction for those who are already doing these things. :)

The questions are under the cut (to save me cluttering your dash); you can either reblog the post with your answers, or copy + paste into a new post. They were adapted, added to and subtracted from a post made by another user quite a while ago, so credit to the creator, as well as my apologies- they've been in a Google doc a good 10 months now and I've no idea where they originated.

If anybody goes ahead and does this, please tag me so I can see? I really enjoy learning about the different personalities in the community. Conversely, if you've been tagged and don't care for this sort of thing, (1) I apologise, (2) safely ignore this, and I'll take it as a signal not to bother you with this nonsense again. :)

[feel free to include a picture!]

CHARACTER NAME

[ PERSONAL ]

♦ Financial: Obscene Wealth / Well Off / Comfortable / Struggling / Poor / In Poverty

♦ Medical: Fit / Reasonably Fit / Average Health / Sickly / Disabled / Disadvantaged / Other

♦ Class: Upper / Middle  / Working / Unsure / Other

♦ Education Level: University / Trade School / High School / Primary School / Other

♦ Criminal Record: Yes, for Major Crimes / Yes, for Minor Crimes / No / Has committed crimes, but not caught (yet?) / Yes, but charges were dismissed / No Comment

[ FAMILY ]

♦ Children: Has Children / Has No Children / Wants Children / Does Not Want Children / Undecided

♦ Siblings: Close with Sibling(s) / Not Close with Sibling(s) / Has no Siblings / Sibling(s) Deceased

♦ Parents: Orphaned / Adopted / Disowned / Raised by Birth Parent(s) / Other

♦ Relationship Status: Single / Smitten / Dating / Committed / Married / Divorced / Widowed / Complicated / Other

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES]

♦ Extroverted / Introverted / In Between ♦ Optimistic / Pessimistic / In Between ♦ Outspoken / Reserved / In Between ♦ Disagreeable / Agreeable / In Between ♦ Disorganised / Organised / In Between ♦ Fixed Attitude / Open-minded / In Between ♦ Calm / Anxious / In Between ♦ Stubborn / Pushover / In Between ♦ Proud / Humble / In Between ♦ Cautious / Reckless / In Between ♦ Patient / Impatient / In Between ♦ Serious / Playful / In Between ♦ Leader / Follower / In Between ♦ Empathetic / Cold-blooded / In Between ♦ Selfish / Selfless / In Between ♦ Hard-working / Lazy / In Between ♦ Practical / Dreamer / In Between ♦ Loyal / Disloyal / Unknown ♦ Faithful / Unfaithful / Unknown ♦ Cultured / Uncultured / In Between

=========================================

Tagging: @kullabergs @katrinbergling @madiwx @calveroterranorasj @highgrovesims3

(and the rest in the comments because apparently one cannot tag more than five people in a post)

[viajandopelomar]

I was plagiarized in a post by ACOTAR. Another Brazilian, on top of that🖕🏻cretin . What the hell was that? I answered an ask from another Brazilian in Portuguese and the other creature simply made a post without changing almost anything in English. On the same day. I hope you get a stomach ache or fall down the stairs. Hell. You could just repost it, damn it, or translate it and say that it was an original post. Disgrace.

IT WAS A POST ABOUT FEYRE, TOMAS AND NESTAAAAA. Damn. I realized it as soon as I saw it ☠️

AND HE STILL POSTED IT ON THE SAME DAY!!!!

I admit that the person added things and made everything a little more elaborate, but I just read the ask and answered. The person came from hell, copied it, improved it and even posted it in tags that I don't usually use. Well, I'm going to post this shit here in these same tags too, damn it. And the link to the original post in Portuguese is here too.

Ask I received from @hani-yo (I put it in English through google translator):

"About the post you reblogged recently, I wanted to point out a perspective (actually, to recall something from Feyre's past self) that I don't see anyone mentioning: it was precisely Feyre who told Nestha, before she was taken to the springlands, not to marry Thomas. Feyre, in the first book, saw all of Thomas's red flags and told Nestha not to marry him, because he, having an abusive father with his own wife, would treat Nestha the same way. And you're telling me that this younger, inconsequential Feyre from ACOTAR was able to see through a man she barely knew, but can't see through Cassian? Through Rhysand? It's said on Wiki that Thomas was popular and had many friends, perhaps the people of the village didn't expect him to be a predator, but Feyre realized it.

And you know what's most ironic? Do you know what Feyre's argument was for his intuition about Thomas? That he didn't take a stand against his father to protect his own mother, that he never did anything to help, and consequently in her logic, this made her believe that Thomas actually agreed with his father's attitude towards his mother. Not to mention the fact that Thomas looked lustfully at Feyre (basically drying her off), so she was already wary of him.

And you know who else doesn't take a stand against an abusive man who wants to *KILL* an innocent woman? Yes, Cassian. And the worst part is that the woman is his own partner. And in a way, Feyre's logic can be applied here... If he doesn't stand up for her, it's because deep down he supports and believes that the abuse against Nestha is the right thing to do. And from what we can see from his POV... That's more than concrete."

To which I replied:

"YES YES YES YES YOU'RE RIGHT!!!! Feyre even uses the same logic with Lucien and Tamlin: if he didn't help me, he'll support Tamlin too.

Cassian is in a similar situation here, he's a friend of the High Lord. The similarity ends there, because their relationship isn't limited to friendship outside of work like Lucien and Tamlin, Cassian and Rhysand call themselves brothers and Nesta is his PARTNER, and he doesn't just keep quiet when Rhysand threatens to kill her, he PUNISHES HER! And he also keeps quiet when she belittles him. He's pushed her away more than once in public and Feyre has SEEN IT! She saw him change lingerie weeks after proposing to Nesta and then leave her alone again. Feyre only sees what she wants. If she likes Cassian, then Cassian is good. Surprise: he's not even for her, content to obey the master and let her die without even knowing why.

And in the second book there's a whole paragraph about how Cassian and Azriel would turn against Rhsyand if she were in danger at his hands. Ilary. She had to and they didn't even blink. Not even Morrigan, who she has as a sister and supposedly helps women to have a choice of their own.

If Tomas was bad just for "letting" his father hit his mother (excluding other things we know about him) what would Cassian be if he allowed his brother to kill the supposed love of his life?"

There, that's what I posted.

I want to add something for the plagiarist: in your post you implied that Feyre knew disgusting things about Tomas "If Tomas was bad just for "letting" his father beat his mother (Feyre's first reason to dislike him was because of this, before knowing how disgusting he was)" you wrote (rewrote on top of my text), but it's not quite like that. I'm re-reading ACOTAR and I passed the scene where Tomas stares at Feyre and he stares at her hungrily because she's carrying a bunch of rabbits. It was hunger. She says it herself a few paragraphs earlier when she says that Tomas's family was a bit better off than the Archerons. So it's completely clear that Tomas faced her with hunger (for food) and Feyre was careful not to bump into him after that. This also goes for the question, which when I answered I hadn't yet picked up the book to re-read. I understand that many people remember it as if he had looked at FEYRE, at her body because it's a detail in the narrative that doesn't get any focus, so this goes as an addition to my answer to you @hani-yo😉.

The plagiarist should confirm the information she finds out there before simply changing the language and posting it to get more views. I'm really pissed off. Why the fuck plagiarize a fandom post, bro?😶

26 years of being punched in the ass and plagiarizing others. Be ashamed of yourself, filthy 😡

🇧🇷 me plagiaram num post de acotar. Outra brasileira, ainda por cima🖕🏻, cretina. que porra foi essa. respondi uma ask de outra brasileira em português e a outra criatura simplesmente fez um post sem alterar quase nada em inglês. no mesmo dia. espero que você tenha dor de barriga ou caia da escada. inferno. era só repostar, cacete, ou traduzir e falar que tinha um post original. desgraça.

FOI UM POST SOBRE FEYRE, TOMAS E NESTAAAA. porra. percebi assim que bati o olho ☠️

E AINDA POSTOU NO MESMO DIA!!!!

admito que a pessoa acrescentou coisas e deixou tudo um pouco mais elaborado, mas eu só li a ask e respondi. veio a pessoa do inferno, copiou, melhorou e ainda postou nas tags que eu não costumo usar. pois vou postar essa merda aqui nessas mesmas tags também cacete. e o link do post original em português está aqui também

Quero acrescentar algo para a plagiadora: no seu post você deu a entender que Feyre sabia coisas nojentas sobre Tomas “If Tomas was bad just for "letting" his father beat his mother (Feyre's first reason to dislike him was because of this, before knowing how disgusting he was)” você escreveu (reescreveu em cima do meu texto), mas não é bem assim. Estou relendo ACOTAR e passei pela cena que Tomas encara Feyre e ele encarou ela de forma faminta porque ela carregava uma penca de coelhos. Foi pela fome. Ela mesma diz isso, alguns parágrafos antes quando afirma que a família de Tomas tinha uma condição um pouco melhor que os Archerons. Então está totalmente explícito que Tomas a encarou com fome (de comida) e Feyre tomou cuidado para não esbarrar nele depois disso. Isso também vai para a ask, que quando respondi eu ainda não tinha pegado o livro para reler. Eu entendo que muitas pessoas se lembrem como se ele tivesse olhado para FEYRE, para o corpo dela porque é uma detalhe na narrativa que não ganha foco, então iss vai como um acréscimo a minha resposta para você hanyio 😉.

Inclusive, a pessoa também usou a tag Amren, o que não faz sentido já que ela sequer é mencionada 🤔. Mas fica aí a dica caso encontrem. Esbarrei nisso agora a pouco.

A plagiadora deveria confirmar as informações que encontra por aí antes de simplesmente mudar o idioma e postar para obter mais visualizações. To muito puta. Por que inferno plagiar uma postagem de fandom, mano?😶

26 anos socados na bunda e plagiando os outros. toma vergonha na tua cara, sua imunda 😡

[indigosuvi]

A Proposal

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 510 | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist

Author's Note: I do not write for mk1. writing is from mk11 and past.

Shang Tsung never thought of marriage. There was no one who loved him. There was no one that he loved enough to marry. He could live forever. His partner couldn't.

He had never met someone like you. He had never loved someone as much as you. He wanted to give you everything that he could. He did. He did everything that he could. He gave you everything you asked for, except marriage. He wasn't sure that you even wanted it. It was just something that he had forgotten about.

You mentioned it to him once before. He never forgot how excited you were about it. He didn't forget that it was something you wanted. He wanted it, too. However, he would probably forget. It was better to remember that it was what you wanted. He didn't care about his feelings. He cared about yours.

He was always well prepared and made sure things were in order when he did things. He didn't like to see his plans fail. They never usually did. He always got his way, one way or another.

“My love.” He said one day as he walked up behind you. He didn't want to scare you. He had a tendency to do that. He could make portals anywhere he wanted, and they would take him anywhere he wanted to go. You had grown used to him coming and going from various rooms. You were able to hear the sounds of the portal before you heard the sounds of footsteps. Even when you had the sound recognized, sometimes you didn't hear it, and he scared you. He took to announcing his presence to stop scaring you.

“Yes?” You asked as you didn't bother to turn away from the thing that was distracting you.

“I want to show you something. Do you have a moment?”

It wasn't often that he asked for your attention.

“Yes.” You said as you put your stuff down and away. You stood up and walked toward him. He held out his hand. Normally, it would be his arm. You held his hand, and he led you through the portal.

You looked around at the scenery. It was the place you had mentioned. You had always wanted to visit it sometime. Your eyes were wide as you took a few steps further into the land. You took a few more steps, and your hand was caught. You couldn't go any further. Shang Tsung wasn't following you, and he was still holding your hand. You turned and looked behind you. He was down on one knee. His hand is holding yours, and his other hand is holding a ring.

“My love, I have loved you since the day I met you. I have loved every day that we have spent together. I wish to spend years, centuries, and more with you. Will you marry me?” He asked with a smile on his face.

Your free hand went to your mouth, and you nodded as tears formed in your eyes.

“Yes, I will. I would love to.”

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @queendeeshorrorimagines, @sunmoongoddess, @phantomheiko / Join my tag list here!

[late-to-the-party-81]

Sunshine and Gunsmoke

Chapter 3 - A new dawn, a new day

AN: Here we are, the third chapter. Thank you for joining me so far on this wild ride and thank you for all your comments - they mean a lot. Also, the chapter count has gone up. I just could resist adding an extra chapter/epilogue for these two. I wouldn’t have got here without my cheer-reader @kahey2804, and my ever wonderful beta @zenaidamacrouras1 .

Catch up on Chapter 2 here

Likes are loved, reblogs are golden

Mood board by me and dividers by @firefly-graphics

Join my tag list here

Master list | SRB Master list | Stucky Bingo Master List | Stucky Geek Bingo Master list

Summary: WIth the imminent threat removed, Bucky needs to make a decision about Steve’s welfare, knowing neither option is ideal. How will Steve feel when he comes back to himself? Will he understand the choice Bucky made? Will he forgive Bucky for lying about who he was? Will either of them be able to recover from this trauma and move forwards?

Relationships: Platonic Alpha Bucky & Beta Clint, past Omega Steve x Alpha Stephen, FWB Omega Steve x Alpha Bucky

Chapter WC: 9k

Chapter CW: Omegaverse, Shrinkyclinks, Strip club AU, references to past abusive relationship, references to misogyny, inferred Mafia elements, Alternating POV, Panic attack,Trauma response, unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol abuse, angst, vomiting, therapy, healthy communication, feelings reveal, forgiveness.

Steve’s head was spinning. His body was ready, pleading for relief, but there wasn’t any. It hurt so much. He needed an Alpha’s knot - Bucky’s knot! Why wasn’t Bucky giving him what he needed? Had he done something wrong? He must be a bad Omega. Bad.

Steve let out a tortured wail, and felt himself being pulled even firmer against Bucky’s body. His fingers tugged at Bucky’s clothes and he rubbed his face all over the scent gland in Bucky’s neck. For a moment he felt some relief, but it was like throwing an ice-cube into a raging inferno.

When he couldn’t access Bucky’s cock, Steve grabbed at the Alpha’s hand, hoping he might get some kind of relief from being fingered, but Bucky wouldn’t let him. Steve could hear the words, “I’m sorry, Sunshine. I really am,” but they made no sense and he let out another cry.

Beneath him, Bucky shifted, and a rumble in his chest alerted Steve to the fact that his Alpha was talking to someone.

There was someone in the room.

Near his nest. 

Steve’s head shot up, his top lip curled and he let out a warning growl.

“It’s alright, Stevie. It’s just the doc.” Bucky’s voice sounded as though it was coming from underwater. “She’s here to help, I promise. And she’s a Beta. She’s not gonna hurt you.” 

Steve turned his head and peered out from under hooded eyelids. The doctor was a woman with glasses, a kind looking face and dark hair pulled back in a ponytail.

“Hi, Steve,” she said in a low, melodious voice. “I’m Dr. Cho, and I’m going to help you feel better. Can I put this blood pressure cuff on you?” She held up the grey piece of equipment in front of her so he could see it. Steve cocked his head, confused. He didn’t understand how this would help him get Bucky’s knot. 

A set of strong fingers gently took hold of his chin and steered his head so that he was looking up into Bucky’s misty blue eyes. “Please, sweetheart. Let Dr. Cho check you out. I promise I’ll give you everything you need soon.”

With that guarantee, Steve gave a small nod and extended his arm. The doctor wrapped the inflation cuff around him and pressed the button on the unit. It whirred into life, pumping up to an almost painful point, before it suddenly deflated. With a pencil in hand, the Beta woman copied out whatever it was that had been recorded.

“Thank you, Steve. You just relax for a moment, while I talk to Bucky, yes?”

Steve nodded again, and buried his head back in Bucky’s neck and continued to rock his hips back and forth.

It had felt as though he’d been waiting for the doc for hours, but in reality it had turned out to be about thirty minutes. But for Bucky, each whimper, each cry that had broken from Steve’s throat shattered his heart.

However, she was here now and Bucky watched, almost with a sense of pride, as Steve allowed his vitals to be recorded, before curling back up against him and starting to hump against him once more. Dr Cho, ever the professional, averted her gaze. 

“You said he’d been drugged,” she asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah,” Bucky confirmed. “Check the trash can.” He jerked his head in its direction.

While waiting for her to investigate, he rested one of his hands against the small of Steve’s back, trying to slow down his movements, not because he was embarrassed or wanted him to stop, but mainly because he didn’t want Steve to rub himself raw. His jeans were soaked to the skin with Steve’s slick, the scent of aroused Omega making the air thick, but strangely, Bucky’s own initial reaction to the smell had worn off. At least for the most part. His cock was no longer straining against his zipper, so he guessed that his concern had overridden his natural instincts to mate.

“You’re right, Mr Barnes.” Bucky turned his head at the doctor’s statement, to find her holding a spent hypodermic in her gloved fingers. “He’s been injected with synthetic hormones to induce heat.” Her nose wrinkled in disgust. “So now there are two options. Either we let his heat run its course and you - an Alpha - provide whatever is necessary, or I can administer heat suppressants to counteract it, but he would need to be carefully weaned off them over the course of a month or so.” There was an apologetic expression on her face. She knew that she’d given him two less than ideal options. “I’ll give you a few minutes to think it over, but we need to decide soon. He can’t carry on in this limbo state for much longer.”

She was right. Steve was visibly tiring, and who knows what long term damage would be caused if he delayed making a decision much longer. Bucky screwed his eyes up, as if blocking out the light would mean that making a choice between effectively raping Steve or drugging him further would be easier. 

“Drugs,” he croaked out. “Give him the suppressants. I can’t…” He tailed off, knowing that he didn’t need to explain further. His eyes blurred with tears as he held Steve still in his arms while Dr. Cho gave him the initial injection, the frightened Omega just crying out for him, over and over. 

“He should drop off to sleep soon. When he wakes, he’ll need to take one of these tablets,” she held up a pill bottle. “And one every day for the foreseeable future. Give him my number so he can call me and we can sort out a regime for weaning him off them.” She gave him a wan smile. “He should be okay, Mr Barnes. At least physically. You’ve done the best you could.” With that, she packed up her equipment and supplies and Bucky and Steve were left in peace.

“Alpha,” Steve mumbled.

Bucky dropped a kiss to the top of his sweaty head. Steve’s rutting had already started to slow, but he supposed that could be from exhaustion as much as from the suppressants.

“Yeah, Sunshine? How can I help?”

“Feel strange, Alpha. Do I get your knot soon?”

“I know, sweetheart, but you’ll start to feel better shortly. Then, I promise, you can have anything you want.”

He watched as Steve smiled sleepily and snuggled impossibly further into his chest. Then, as his hips finally - finally - stilled, Steve started to purr. His eyelids drooped and his body relaxed, and Bucky felt a wave of relief wash over himself. He eased them both into a lying down position and covered Steve’s naked body with a loose corner of blanket.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Sunshine. I hope you can forgive me.”

His whole body ached, and his tongue felt thick in his mouth.

Steve blinked his eyes open, noting the bright sun shining through his bedroom window. Shifting slightly he became aware of an arm around his waist.

Stephen!

He sat up, panicked, twisting around to see Bucky sleepily blinking his eyes at him. A Bucky who was fully clothed, while he was entirely naked. What was going on? He searched his memory and it came back in horrifying Technicolor. His hand flew up to his neck expecting to feel a fresh wound as he gulped in lungfuls of air. And why wasn’t he still in heat? His head felt light, and the room was tilting sideways and…

“Stevie! Breathe!” Bucky’s hands had curled around Steve’s upper arms, stopping him from falling over and off of the bed. Bucky’s eyes bored into his, preventing him from looking away. “You’re safe. Just breathe in with me now, two-three… and out, two-three.” Steve followed Bucky’s directions, breathing in and out with him, and slowly the world stopped spinning. 

Bucky’s hands fell away and he gave Steve a soft smile. “I’m just gonna go and get you a drink and a snack, and I’ll be right back, okay?”

Still not feeling capable of speech, Steve just nodded and watched Bucky walk out of his bedroom. He looked around his private space, feeling terribly exposed. Stephen’s scent still lingered in the air, along with those of a few other people Steve didn’t know, and he launched himself up, crossing to the window and throwing it open with all his strength. He pulled some boxers, sweats and an oversized hoodie from his dresser, fighting his way into them, feeling as though he needed the protective layer they provided. Then, on wobbly legs, he returned to the bed, pulling all of the blankets and sheets from it. 

As each piece of fabric was thrown to the floor, Steve could feel the anger and humiliation building in his gut. Stripping his bed wasn’t enough. He picked up his favourite nesting blanket, one of the first things he’d bought after moving here after escaping Stephen the first time, and ripped it down the middle. He did the same with the next, his vision blurring with tears, and when Bucky returned a few minutes later, he was kneeling on the floor in a pile of remnants, sobbing his heart out.

In a heartbeat, Bucky was beside him, his arms wrapped around him, and Steve cried into his chest. “It’s gonna be alright, Stevie. It’ll be okay. I promise. He can’t hurt you again.” 

Bucky’s words flowed over him and eventually his sobs subsided, turning to small hiccups, until he self-consciously extricated himself from Bucky’s embrace. He swiped at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“What happened,” he asked. “I mean, I remember bits of it, but a lot of it’s still a blur. I remember-” His head shot up with a gasp and he turned his head towards the back wall, where the bullet hole, surrounded by chipped plaster, taunted him. “You shot at him! You shot at Stephen with a gun!” He stared back at Bucky. “And you - you’re… you’re.” He shuffled backwards, putting some distance between them. Bucky returned his wide-eyed gaze with a sad smile and a small open armed shrug.

“I am.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t really know.” Bucky said. “Maybe it’s because I’m selfish? Maybe because I didn’t want to frighten you away. Why didn’t you tell me?” He gestured at the bed and the ruined blankets.

Steve wrapped his arms around his own waist, but raised his chin. “I thought I could handle it. I didn’t want to have to have somebody - an Alpha - help me out. I never thought he’d take it this far.” He stopped for a moment, nibbling on his lower lip as a thought came to him. “Where is he?” Steve asked guardedly. “Is he - you know - dead?”

“Not yet.” There was a chilly rumble to Bucky’s voice that sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. He wasn’t sure if he was scared by it, or aroused. “My men have him. They’re waiting for me, but I had to make sure you were okay first. You were my priority, Stevie.” Bucky’s tone softened and for a moment Steve’s heart fluttered, but Bucky’s words reminded him of his other query.

“And how am I okay, Bucky? How has the heat gone already?” There was a soreness between his thighs, but it wasn’t what he normally felt after having sex. And it didn’t escape him how Bucky turned his head away at the question and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“You gotta understand… you were outta your head from the drugs he’d given you. You weren’t in your right mind to agree to anything, so I had to make a choice. I coulda knotted you, but… I just couldn’t… it wouldn’t’ve been right. So I took the other option… and I’m sorry.”

Steve felt a sense of foreboding grow inside his gut. “What other option? Bucky, what did you do?” 

With an apology in his eyes, Bucky pulled a small plastic bottle from his back pocket, along with a business card. “Call my doc, Dr Cho. She was here. She’ll go through everything with you. It’s all paid for.” He held them out tentatively, and Steve plucked them from his fingers, knowing what he was going to see, but hoping against hope he was going to be wrong.

He wasn’t.

He let out a sigh. “Suppressants. Of course.” Tears prickled behind his eyes, and all of his emotions - fear, anger, frustration, disappointment - tangled around each other within him. “You knew how I felt about these! About how he’d made me go on them. And here you are…”

Bucky reached out a hand towards him. “Stevie, I-”

Steve knew deep down that he was being unreasonable, but his logical mind was not in control right now. “Don’t touch me!” he bit out as he jumped backwards, throwing his hands up in the air.

Bucky huffed. “I just did what I thought was best.”

“Best for who?” Steve shrieked. “For you, definitely. You don’t have a bunch of chemicals rampaging around your system, suppressing what you are. Who you are! God, I don’t even want to look at you right now.” He turned his back, emphasising his point, but he heard Bucky shuffling behind him. His inner Omega was telling him to turn back around and go to Bucky - get lost in the security of his embrace, but Steve was mad - mad with the world - and Bucky was the only person available to take it out on.

“Maybe I should go then?” Bucky mumbled from behind him.

Now it was Steve’s turn to huff. He shrugged his shoulders for good measure as well, feigning nonchalance. “Whatever you think is best, Buck. You’re good at making decisions for both of us. Do me a favour though. Don’t kill Stephen. He’ll be missed if he disappears without a trace.”

He heard a resigned sigh. “I promise not to kill him if you promise me you’ll call Dr Cho. Be safe Stevie and I’ll tell Clint that you won’t be in for a while” A heartbeat’s silence, then “‘bye, Sunshine.” Bucky’s feet padded across Steve’s threadbare carpet getting quieter as he walked away, until Steve couldn’t hear them any longer.

Steve sank back to his knees and the tears flowed again.

Bucky slumped into the office chair, holding the open bottle of whisky.

“Fuck!”

He took a swig and slammed the bottle on the table. Resting his elbows on the arms of the chair, he steepled his fingers against his face. Never had he envisaged that things with Steve would play out like this. He almost regretted his promise not to kill Steve’s piece of shit ex. 

After leaving Steve’s apartment, Bucky had headed straight to where his men had taken the deluded Alpha. It had been cathartic to take out his frustrations on the sick fuck, but he’d stopped short of finishing him off. He had broken - no, shattered - the guy’s hands though. He wouldn’t be doing any surgery for a long time, if ever again. His men had then dragged the good doctor out, having instructions to make it look as though the Alpha had had a drink fueled car crash. That should explain away his injuries and he’d definitely think twice before harassing Steve again.

However, as satisfying as it had been, it didn’t solve the issue of the chasm between the pair of them. Bucky had known that Steve was going to be upset about the heat suppressants, but he hadn’t imagined such an extreme reaction. He’d wanted so badly to take Steve in his arms and tell him that he’d do anything for him - that he loved him. But Steve had been disgusted by him - by what he’d done and by who he was.

Bucky slumped further in the chair, his feet up on the desk and picked up the whisky bottle again, taking another large gulp. The burn was his just deserts for hurting the man he loved, but that pain would soon be dulled by the alcohol. It was a vicious circle and no less than he deserved. 

A knock at the door had him lifting his head. “Yes?” he bit out with more force than was strictly necessary. Clint opened the door and walked through, warily. 

“Hey, boss. I was wondering, are you gonna work tonight?”

Bucky took another drink. “Yes, but not behind the bar.”

“Okay,” Clint replied with a nod. “Cool. Cool. And Steve? He’s okay, isn’t he?”

“Physically? Better than he could have been - nothing debilitating. Mentally? A wreck. I wish I still had that knot-head fuck in front of me.” As he took another mouthful he thought that maybe he heard Clint mutter ‘that would make two of you’, under his breath, but chose to ignore it. “Make sure Steve’s pay and an average tip amount is deposited in his account until he comes back.”

Clint gave him ‘a look’ before shuffling out, but Bucky just pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Hi Dad. Yeah - I got my problem sorted. I was just wondering, cos I’m at a loose end, whether you had any jobs you needed me to do.”

Numb.

That’s all Steve could describe his current state as. It had been that way from the moment that Bucky had walked away from him. He’d held the bottle of heat suppressants in his hand, and had seriously considered flushing them down the toilet, but deep down he’d known that he’d end up in a worse way if he did that. Bucky had said that it was all paid for, and he couldn’t afford to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he ended up in hospital there’s no way he’d be able to afford it, even with his co-pay.

It had been four weeks now since Stephen’s assault, and Steve had taken the tablets religiously. He had an appointment in two weeks to discuss the withdrawal regime. Dr Cho was kind and understanding, and Steve almost couldn’t believe that she was mob affiliated. 

He also hoped that he’d get some of his mojo back as he came off the drugs, although that might be a false hope. While they were almost definitely affecting his mood, he hadn’t been like this last time, with Stephen, so he knew that his emotional state was being impacted by the trauma. Maybe he should take Dr. Cho up on the offer of connecting him with a therapist. She’d hinted that Bucky would cover that as well.

He continued to muse upon it as he walked home from his diner shift. He’d been lucky that they’d held the job open for him for the week he’d taken off to get his head in some kind of order. As he reached his front door, he couldn’t help but place his hand flat against the wood of it. To anyone else, it looked exactly the same as every other front door in this block, but he knew it was different, and on some level reminded him of how he himself felt. Identical on the outside, but still changed.

The afternoon of that day, a few hours after Bucky had left, there had been a tentative knock against the damaged door. Upon careful - and baseball bat protected - investigation, it had turned out to be a crew of workers, again, all paid for. They’d replaced his door and installed more secure locks on both it and all of the windows in the apartment - even the window in his bedroom that only someone who could climb like a spider would be able to get through.

He knew it should make him feel better, knowing that it was almost impossible for anyone to break in now, but his confidence was still shot, and he jumped at every strange noise. On top of that every so often he caught a whiff of gunsmoke in the air, despite how long it had been. Steve couldn’t decide if it was residue from the actual gun Bucky had used to scare Stephen, or whether it was Bucky’s own Alpha scent still lingering in the remaining fabrics of his nest, no matter how much he’d washed them. Every time it wafted through the air, he felt his heart lurch. 

He hated how he was caught in this limbo, missing Bucky like crazy, but also feeling sick at the thought of actually seeing him. It was one of the reasons he hadn’t been back to The Alpha Barne - he didn’t know if he was going to go running into Bucky’s arms or start shouting at him, letting out all the hurt and pain he knew was bubbling just under his skin. Because Bucky had lied. Hidden who and what he was, and it made Steve sick, just to think about it, although he wasn’t sure whether he felt that way because he didn’t like what Bucky did, or because he felt so foolish for not working it out. Whichever way it was though, everything, Bucky, the Barne, dancing, the lies, were all intrinsically linked to the assault and he couldn’t separate them as hard as he tried. 

Steve had been listening to the radio only last week, when one of the songs he’d danced to came on. It had all been fine when he’d been dancing along subconsciously, but as soon as he realised what he was doing, all his emotions had come crashing in. In his mind’s eye he saw Stephen leering at him from the audience, saw Bucky flirting and kissing other Omega’s. He’d felt himself pinned down and begging for something he didn’t want. He’d dropped to the floor of his kitchen, his arms around himself as he’d sobbed.

Frustratingly, it wasn’t as though Bucky didn’t care. He obviously did if the flurry of texts and voicemails Steve had received was any indication, but Steve couldn’t find it within himself to answer with more than a bland ‘Busy, speak soon’. He just didn’t know what to say - how to articulate how he felt. Hell, he didn’t even know how he felt, other than it was too soon to even think about going back to his other job, no matter how much he’d grown to love and enjoy it. For the time being he’d just have to be frugal and take every single diner shift he could. He’d plaster on his best customer service mask, despite how he felt inside, and hope for tips.

Ditching his work gear and toe-ing off his shoes, Steve shuffled to his kitchen cabinet, pulling out another pack of 50 cent ramen noodles. Hopefully when he went to see Dr. Cho she’d have that fruit bowl on her desk again. He was certain that the oranges he pilfered from her were the only reason he hadn’t developed scurvy.

He slumped onto the sofa, bowl of noodles in hand and idly turned on the TV for background noise. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening on the British cookery programme he was watching, but it was entertaining nonetheless. The one bright spot in the past few weeks is that he hadn’t heard anything from Stephen. Not a peep, not a sniff. No more break-ins. No more feeling of being followed. Bucky had promised him that Stephen was still alive, so whatever Bucky had threatened his ex with seemed to have worked in making him stay away. If only he could relax though. Logically he knew he was safe, but he’d let down his guard before and look what had happened. 

Steve whiled away the next few hours with mindless TV shows and an action movie, before dragging himself to have a shower and then collapsing into bed. The morning came all too soon, and Steve felt as though he hadn’t slept, despite not feeling as though he’d woken up during the night. He poured coffee down his throat to support the matchsticks holding his eyes open, and headed off for another day at the diner. He felt as though he was trapped in Groundhog Day.

A few hours in though, and something different happened. Or rather someone different walked through the door. Steve was having a chat during a lull with Stan, the line cook, when the bell over the door rang and Steve picked up the muted Beta scent of Clint.

He turned and flashed his old manager and  -almost?- friend a sad smile.

“Hey, Clint.”

“Hey, Steve. Thought I’d come and see how you were doing. And from the looks of it, you’re not so great.” Clint slid into an empty booth and Steve took a seat opposite him. “So, tell me. What’s eating you, kid?”

Steve let out a sigh. “What’s not eating me? It’s all fucked up, Clint. I’m fucked up.”

Clint let out a snort. “I hate to tell you this, but life, in general is fucked up. I don’t think I know anyone who isn’t off kilter at least a little bit. And we miss you. Me, the girls. Bucky. Heck, I think even the patrons miss you.”

Steve’s lips twitched up at that. “I can’t dance, Clint. Not yet at least. It’s all too raw. I don’t know how much you know, but I have nightmares. And when I do sleep I don’t wake up rested. I want to reach out, I really do, but I just can’t.” He sighed again. “I thought I had something good. With Bucky. I was starting to think that maybe… But he was lying to me the whole time. I thought I knew who he was, but it turned out he was this whole other person after all.”

It was Clint’s turn to smile wanly.

“I know you’re hurt by it all, and I take some of the blame - I didn’t know you didn’t know - but tell me this; how was one different from the other?”

Steve’s eyebrows drew together as he tried to understand Clint’s question. “What do you mean?”

“When Bucky came to your apartment that night, when he ‘became’ this other person, as you put it, what did he do that was so different? Did he treat you any differently to how he had before?”

Steve sat, looking at Clint wide-eyed as realisation washed over him. Through all the hurt and all the pain, he’d never really broken down what Bucky had done that night, what lengths he’d gone to. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears form in his eyes as he answered.

“No. He didn’t treat me any different. In fact, he saved me.”

Maybe it was time to meet that therapist.

The rear door of the club banged on its hinges as Bucky shouldered his way through it. It was not in the mood for, well, anything. He stomped down the hall and into the office. His office. It was no longer just a place to do the odd deal, it was now the centre of the operations that his father had handed over to him.

Stalking across to the desk he yanked open the bottom drawer and pulled out the first aid kit and a part full bottle of whisky. He took a healthy swig of the latter before opening up the former. Ripping open an alcohol wipe, Bucky let out a restrained hiss as he swiped it across the bloody knuckles of his right hand.

It was strange how so much had changed in the past few weeks. While he had never shied away from the physical aspects of the business - knowing that sometimes it was the only way to deliver a message - he’d never actively sought out participation, quite happy for his father’s enforcers to do the majority of the dirty work. However, it now seemed that his mind was only ever quiet when he was beating seven shades of hell out of some snitch or rival punk. Or when he was deep in the bottle. Sometimes both.

George Barnes had been thrilled when Bucky had requested more involvement and responsibility, clapping his son on the shoulder and immediately drawing him into his traditional study and getting out his books. His mother, Winnifred, has known something was wrong though. Bucky could see it in her expression when she looked at him. He knew she was worried about what had prompted this change of heart regarding the business, but every time she looked as though she was about to start probing, he’d brush her off. Part of him wanted to pour his heart out to her, just as he had when he’d been a child, but another part of him told him that it was just life and he had to suck it up. Things got damaged and broken in their world, so he might as well get used to it.

Dropping the wipe, Bucky picked the bottle up again, tipping it up and just letting it burn down his throat. He didn’t even move when the office door opened and Clint walked through. Bucky did his best to ignore his friend, because if it wasn’t his mother trying to get him to talk, it was the stubborn Beta. Of course, Clint immediately noticed Bucky’s wounds.

“Sit down, Boss,” Clint said with a resigned note. “Who better to fix you up than the man who’s been there and had the blood splattered over his t-shirt?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, but did as asked, although he didn’t relinquish the grip he had his bottle. Clint pulled out another alcohol wipe and got to work cleaning Bucky up. However, with Bucky now captive to him, it gave him a chance to start up on his new favourite topic of conversation.

“You haven’t gone to speak to him yet.” A statement, not a question. “You need to get a grip, man. Tell him how you feel.”

“He knows where I am,” Bucky snapped back. “I’ve texted him, but he’s barely responded. I’ve said all I need to say.”

“Have you?” Clint scoffed. “Have you really? Because if you had then I doubt you would be sitting here bloody and drunk, and Steve wouldn’t be sleep-walking through life as though he’s an emotionless automaton.”

Bucky tipped back the bottle again. “Butt out, Clint. It’s not your life. It’s mine. I’m just doing what I gotta do.”

“Yeah, and what you’re doing is ruining it.” He grabbed the gauze and started to wrap a bandage around Bucky’s knuckles. “Come on, Bucky. You were so happy before. You and Steve. But now you’re on the path to self-destruction. There’s a big difference between getting more involved with the family business and using it to block out your pain. Steve cares for you, I know he does, but he’s confused and traumatised. I’m thinking that maybe you are as well.”

Bucky let out a derisive laugh. “Me? I wasn’t the one who was attacked.”

“Yeah, but the Omega - the person - that you love was,” Clint countered. “You only just got there in time to stop it and then you had to deal with the aftermath. Had to watch him distraught and in pain. However, you only helped him through part of it. As soon as feelings on both sides got involved you ran away.”

“He asked me to leave, Barton.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Did he? Did he say ‘I want you to leave’?”

Bucky’s brain whirred, sorting through his memories of the last time he’d seen Steve. Had he asked Bucky to go, or had Bucky said that he was going to and Steve just went along with it? His head started to pound with it.

“You know what, Clint? Fuck off. I don’t need you trying to analyse me. I’ve got a shrink if I need to do that.” Bucky pushed himself up from the chair, knowing he shouldn’t be talking to his friend like this, but feeling just so full of frustration he couldn’t stop it from spilling over. He took a last drink and threw the now empty bottle into the trash. “Call Kate. She’s working tonight to cover my shift. In fact, she can cover them all until further notice.”

Without even looking at Clint, unable to meet his eyes, Bucky strode out of the office and onto the main floor of the club. He kept his gaze fixed forwards, not wanting to see the pity-filled expressions of the people he knew. When he reached the bar he stopped at it long enough to grab another bottle, tequila this time, before heading out of the main doors.

He wasn’t really thinking about where he was going, just knowing he needed a walk to clear his head. A little voice inside commented that it was difficult to do that if he was going to continue to drink while he crossed town, but he told it to shut up. He was aware that he was receiving concerned and cautious glances from other pedestrians, and even noticed a few folk going out of their way to avoid him, but he didn’t care.

His world had gone to shit. He loved Steve. His Stevie. His Sunshine. But he’d been stupid and selfish. Through his own actions and ineptitude he’d broken Steve’s trust in him and allowed him to get hurt. How different would the present be if he’d been straight with Steve from the beginning? Would Steve have still wanted to know him - have a relationship with him? Would Bucky have been brave enough to declare his feelings? Could they have avoided the whole Stephen thing altogether?

Finding himself in familiar surroundings, Bucky wasn’t even surprised to realise that he’d walked all the way to Steve’s apartment. He was even less surprised to note that it had started raining, and from the state of his clothes, had been for sometime. On top of that, dusk was falling and the street lights were turning on. Time always seemed to pass quickly these days, stuck in his own head as he so often was, and both his parents and Clint had called him out on a few occasions for blanking them when they were talking to him.

He crossed the street and made his way down the alley at the side of the building. Although he couldn’t see in from here, he could see Steve’s living room lit up at the top of the fire escape, and could make out shadows flitting around inside. Cautiously, tucking the tequila bottle into his pants, he began to climb up. As drunk as he was, he somehow managed to scale the metal rungs quietly, and he crouched on the platform outside Steve’s window, looking in through a crack in the curtains.

Bucky could hear music playing from Steve’s speakers and he shifted slightly so he could see where Steve was jigging along in his little kitchenette, cooking something up on the stove. God, Steve was so fucking beautiful it hurt. What he wouldn’t give to be inside with him right now. Dancing and singing along, cooking together. He imagined how after a simple meal for two, he’d pull Steve close, whisper sweet nothings in his ear and then take him to the bedroom and take him apart in the most beautiful way. His eyes burned with unshed tears and he pulled the bottle from his pants and took a drink. It was only as he righted it that he realised that he’d gotten down to the bottom.

He stared at it for a moment, his heart beating wildly in his chest, thoughts swirling and realisation starting to crystallise in his mind. He looked up at Steve again, seemingly happy or at least on his way to being so, and then back down at himself. His clothes were rumpled and smeared with dirt, blood and alcohol. 

What the actual fuck was he doing?

He was acting just like Stephen - mooning over Steve and making it all about how he felt. God, he was even creeping like the deranged Alpha, watching Steve from the shadows. He felt bile rise in his throat and retched, his stomach emptying the alcohol over the side of the fire escape and onto the concrete below. When no more came up, he scrambled down the ladder as fast his legs could safely take him and leant against the wall.

This wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. And if he stood any chance of rebuilding his relationship with Steve he had to fix whatever the hell was wrong with him. He caught sight of a dumpster a few feet away, and threw the empty bottle overhand into it, listening to the tinkle of glass as it smashed upon impact.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialled a number he hadn’t called in months. As it rang he took one more look up at the windows of Steve’s apartment, before turning on his heel and heading towards the nearest taxi rank. When the phone connected, he had no time for pleasantries.

“Banner? Yeah, it’s Barnes. I need my head shrunk and I need your soonest appointment. Tomorrow at 10am? Yeah. I’ll be there.”

Steve let out a sigh and stretched his arms over his head. He’d been lucky enough to score a lucrative night shift for once. Unluckily, it came as part of a double shift because one of the other servers had called in sick. Still, it would help to bolster his bank account and he could live with that, even if it came at the expense of feet ache, back ache and sleep deprivation.

There had been a rush on around midnight, when all the local clubs had kicked out, and Steve had kept his head down as much as he was able when he recognised some patrons from the Alpha Barne, but since then it had been fairly quiet. The only patrons they’d really had were a few of the local homeless who used their meagre scraped together coins to buy bottomless coffee and use the diner as a place to stay warm and safe overnight. Steve couldn’t begrudge them that, especially as he considered how close he’d been to being their shoes. However, it was now nearing 5am, and the night shift cook had told him to start expecting the early risers. They often got a lot of construction workers looking for a cheap and filling meal on their way to their job sites.

It was now two months since the attack, and he’d been seeing the psychiatrist, Dr Banner, who Dr Cho had put him in touch with. With a kindly face, and a soft spoken voice, the older Alpha had listened patiently to Steve’s story, his fears and feelings of betrayal, and while he knew he still had a long way to go, Steve knew that he was on the right path. He was looking forward to coming off the suppressants in the next few weeks, hoping it would make him feel even more like himself.

At Dr Banner’s insistence, he’d tried to dance at home again. “You shouldn’t let these incidents rob you of what brings you joy, Steve,” he’d said, and Steve had vowed to try again. Without a proper pole in his house, he’d tried to replicate his dance from that first night, and while he’d struggled to get through it, had finished in a puddle of tears, he had done it. Maybe some of the tears had been down to relief? But still, it gave him hope. If he could regain his confidence with dancing he might be able to find the confidence and strength to go back to the Alpha Barne - work there again and face Bucky. As he considered it all, Steve stretched out his legs, rotating his ankles to ease the ache, unconsciously going into a dancer’s pose.

The bell above the door rang and he grabbed his notepad. He turned to face his new customer with a smile which froze on his face. There, with the door closing behind him was Bucky. But this wasn’t the Bucky that Steve remembered. 

His Bucky had worn jeans and either plain black t-shirts or maroon or navy Henleys, his long hair casually tied up in a bun. This Bucky was an altogether different beast. He wore a suit; black with a subtle pinstripe check. His hair was still tied up, but it had been slicked back and tamed - something which caused a pang of disappointment to dart through him. This Bucky also had hollow looking eyes and bandaged hands.

Bucky stepped forward. “Hi, Stevie.”

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. “Hi, Buck- I mean, James.”

Bucky’s lips turned up, but there was no joyful smile in his eyes. “I’m still Bucky. Buck. That hasn’t changed. I was wondering if we could talk?”

Steve pulled his lower lip between his teeth as he looked around. There were two homeless guys sitting in a booth on the far side, doing yesterday’s crossword puzzle between them. They’d already been here two hours and were unlikely to order anything, but he didn’t know who was going to work through the doors before then.

“The next shift comes in at 6am, so I am sort of working until then. Do you want to wait?”

“Of course I’ll wait,” Bucky replied and this time his eyes did reflect his smile, albeit shyly. “But could I trouble you for a cup of coffee? I’m not used to seeing the day from this end.”

Steve couldn’t help but flash his own smile. “Take a seat. I’ll bring it over. And it’s bottomless.”

“Even better.”

Steve made his way behind the counter, finding the cleanest and most un-chipped mug he could, and filled it up with steaming coffee from the jug. Automatically he added a small spoon of sugar and dollop of cream, his hands remembering how Bucky liked to drink his joe.

When he turned back around, he found Bucky sitting in the opposite corner to the other two customers, and he was looking at something on his phone. Steve’s heart jumped in his chest as he took this opportunity to quietly study the Alpha who produced such conflicting feelings within him. He was so glad to see him, and his inner Omega longed to curl up in Bucky’s lap and trade lazy kisses until he was purring with contentment. However, he knew that to do so without clearing the air and saying what he needed to say would lead to disaster in the long term. The pair of them needed to be on the same page.

Squaring his shoulders, Steve walked over to Bucky’s table and placed the cup in front of him. Bucky tilted his head up, his eyes shining with emotion, and Steve opened his mouth to start to say his piece when the bell rang again. Looking over his shoulder, Steve saw a group of labourers, hats in hand and hi-vis vests tucked into their pants, crowd through the door. 

“Go do your job, Stevie. I said I’d wait, and I mean it.”

Over the next hour Steve served the customers who came in for early breakfasts, a mixture of labourers, early-rising office workers and first responders coming off shift. In between orders, he’d glance over a Bucky, who asked for a refill twice, but was more often than not still reading and typing on his phone. Eventually though Carol, who was scheduled to do the early shift, came through the door. After handing over to her, Steve returned to Bucky’s booth.

“So I’m done. You said you wanted to talk?”

“I do. I think we have a lot to say to each other, but if you’re anything like me, you’re famished. Would you mind getting me some pancakes? Maybe a double stack and you can eat too?”

Steve felt a blush make its way up his neck. Bucky remembered how much he liked pancakes. He’d eat them at every meal if he could.

“Sure, Buck. I’ll be right back.”

[Image description: A moodboard. The background is a cityscape at dawn, the background different shades of orange. There are five picture frames. The first is the interior of a diner. The second is an external view of a diner in the morning. The large sign is turned off. The third is of a lit up, bent arrow sign at night, declaring a Diner, with the word “eat” underneath. The fourth is a quote - “Create the life you can’t wait to wake up to.” The fifth picture is of a stack of pancakes with a jug of syrup and a cup of coffee on a diner table.]

He returned a little over five minutes later, carrying a massive plate, groaning with buttered pancakes, and with a jug of syrup in his other hand. Placing it down, he slid onto the bench seat opposite Bucky.

They looked at each other and as Steve opened his mouth to speak, Bucky did the same.

“How’ve you been?” Steve asked as Bucky said “I hope you’ve been doing okay.”

They both stopped and Steve was pleased to note he wasn’t the only one blushing. Bucky gestured with his hand and Steve answered first.

“Not badly, all things considered. I mean, it was rough at the beginning, but Dr Cho has been great - explaining to me why I need to stay on the suppressants for so long before coming off them. I actually start the process of weaning off them next week, which I’m looking forward to. And I’ve started therapy. It’s probably something I should have done when I got away from Stephen that first time, but better late than never, I suppose. My psychiatrist is really good at helping me deal with all the anger I’ve been feeling. What about you?”

Bucky laced his fingers together and rested his hands on the table in front of him. His thumbs fidgeted against each other and his gaze was cast down.

“I’ve - umm - been working. With my father. Not behind the bar.” 

It seemed to Steve that Bucky was worried how he’d react to the news. To be honest, Steve wasn’t actually sure how he felt. He didn’t want to make a spur of the minute judgement. “And do you enjoy that more than bar-tending?” he probed gently.

Bucky did look up at that, cocking his head with a snort. “I don’t know if enjoying it is the right word. I mean, it’s good to get more involved in the running of everything. Working on logistics and planning. Although I can’t say that I don’t enjoy some aspects of ‘taking out the trash’.” He glanced briefly at his knuckles and Steve couldn’t help but follow his gaze. “But I do miss the club. Clint. The girls. It felt like a big family, you know?”

“Are you going to continue with it?” Steve asked

“Will my answer make a difference to what happens next?”

Steve gave a little shrug. “Possibly. I don’t know. I think I need to get my head around it.”

“That’s fair,” Bucky agreed with a nod. “But I think this change was inevitable. I couldn’t keep myself out of it forever. It is a family business after all.”

Silence fell between them and in order to stop feeling awkward, Steve grabbed his cutlery and cut off a wedge of pancake, dunking it in the jug of syrup.

“Heathen,” Bucky hissed in amusement, and Steve felt himself grin, unbidden, around his mouthful. For a few minutes they both ate, but the silence grew heavy again and when he finished a mouthful, Steve blurted out, “I never thanked you. So ‘thank you’. For saving me.”

“Oh, Steve,” Bucky sighed out. “You don’t have to do that. Not at all. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t get there sooner. I’m sorry he even had the chance to hurt you again.”

Without thinking, Steve reached out across the table and took Bucky’s hand loosely in his own. “It’s not your fault, Buck. None of it. I should have told you. I trusted you more than anyone, but I still didn’t say anything.”

Bucky smiled back at him, gently squeezing his hand back.

“I remember,” Steve continued, “when you came in, and you were facing off against Stephen, talking about how I got to choose who to fuck and love and trust. I remember you saying that you hit two out of the three.”

Bucky’s eyebrows rose up towards his hair. “You remember that? You were pretty out of it. I’m sorry that I don’t check any of your boxes now. I doubt you trust me any more, but I wouldn’t blame you. I lied about who I was.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed. “You did. I made assumptions and you didn’t correct them. Numerous times. And I am cross about it, but I still trust you. And when it comes down to it, you only lied about who you are, not what you are.”

“What do you mean ‘what I am’?” Bucky asked, obviously puzzled.

“You, James Buchanan Barnes, are a good man. You’re a good Alpha and a good friend. You are my lover and my hero. And you’re the man that I love. You don’t tick only two of my boxes, Bucky. You tick all of them. All three of them.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped. “Y-you love me? You never said anything, Steve, other than wanting to be friends.”

“How could I not love you? From the moment you took me home before my heat I was a goner. You looked after me. Cared for me. You weren’t disgusted…” unbidden memories of Stephen’s treatment of him came flooding into his mind and Steve stuttered to a halt, pulling his hand back from Bucky’s. He didn’t dare look at Bucky, and instead stared at the drips of syrup that were domed atop the melamine table top. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think I was worthy of love, especially yours. So I kept telling myself that you wouldn’t want more than friends with benefits. Every time I said it out loud I think I was trying to convince myself more than anything. Anyway, I wanted you to know. It seemed only right. I don’t want to have any secrets from you anymore.”

In the following silence, Steve was sure he heard crickets chirping, and despite how awkward and embarrassed he felt, eventually he peered up from under his eyelashes. Bucky looked like he’d stopped working. His mouth was still open like a fish and he was blinking like he was trying desperately to process what Steve had just said. Worried about what he might say when he did get his wits about him, Steve pressed on.

“The therapy is really working though. I’m feeling a lot more myself. Better than in a long time, even though I know there’s still a long way to–”

“I love you too.” The words tumbled from Bucky’s lips, stopping Steve mid-flow as surely as the way that Bucky reclaimed his hand did. “And, fuck. Of course you’re worthy of love, Stevie. You’re worthy of everything. If anything, it’s me that isn’t.” He pulled Steve’s hand up to his face and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I lied to you, over and over again. I knew I should tell you, but I was so scared that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. You seemed so against this whole ‘family business’ thing, and while I desperately wanted something more, I wanted to respect the fact that you only wanted friendship.”

Steve couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. “What a pair we are, Buck. And as for how I spoke about what you did, what your family does, I don’t know anything about that world outside of newspaper clippings and over the top films. For the most part I was just being silly - winding you up to watch you smile.” He shifted his hand within Bucky’s grasp so that their fingers were entwined. “I love watching you smile. Watching you blush. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes, but as I said earlier, no more secrets, yeah?”

“Yeah, no more secrets, Sunshine.” Bucky reached up his hand and swiped his thumb over Steve’s cheek. “I promise that whatever I do will have as little impact upon you as possible. You can know whatever you want to know.”

Steve nuzzled into Bucky’s hand, feeling a purr build in his chest at the closeness. “I don’t think I’m gonna be feeling some kinda way for a while, but I wondered, after we’ve finished here, if you wanted to come and doze in my nest with me. Maybe watch a movie or two?”

Bucky smiled at him adoringly. “Sunshine, I'm happy to do whatever you want.”

It was difficult for the pair of them to finish off the pancake stack with only one hand each, but Steve wasn’t willing to let Bucky go, and it seemed as though Bucky felt the same.

He knew they both had a way to go yet, but it was a new day and they were going to face it together.

Chapter 4

Tag list:@christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @doasyoudesireandlive, @galactusdevourerofworlds, @crayongirl-linz, @mightstill, @nicoline1998enilocin, @km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989, @kombatfather1796

Bingo and Challenge fills:

For the whole fic: @Buckybarnesevents Into and alternate June-iverse - Strip Club | April Babb - Pet names

For the Chapter:  @Stuckybingo -Pancakes | @steverogersbingo  - Worthy Steve | @Stuckygeekevents  - “How could I not love you?” | Alpha Bucky April - Purring

[accessibleaesthetics]

Hello! First, I'd like to thank you for this blog, it's really helpful and informative!

Second, I have some questions about image descriptions and plain text:

1.) If an image has an alt text, should I copy and paste it in a post when reblogging or is it accessible as is? What about if there are several images with alt text in a post separated by text? I'm guessing if I post an image myself it's best to have both alt text and a description, but I've seen you do just alt text, so is it enough?

2.) What if another user posted some images and the text under them is generally describing the images but is not marked as image description. Should I write an image description in my post when reblogging? Just say that the images are of what the OP talks about?

3.) If there is a post that is made of multiple additions and reblogs and several undescribed images. Is it accessible to just describe them in order of appearance in my reblog? Or is it confusing and I should just tag it as undescribed instead?

4.) Is plain text needed when any kind of text formatting is applied or are there exceptions? And again, if only some posts in a chain need plain text, is it accessible to just list them all in a reblog or is it confusing?

5.) this one is more minor, but is it ok if my avatar and banner are only described in the pinned post or should I put them in my bio as well?

If you answer this or leave some links to the answers, thank you greatly for your time!

You're so welcome!

1.) This one is tricky. As you've noticed, I've decided to consider images with alt text as accessible enough to be on this blog becasue they come with a built-in expandable written ID, and even do it myself when it's short enough. However, some people still very much prefer image descriptions for various reasons. You can also use them together by putting a short description in the alt text that ends by directing people to a longer description (when needed) in the body of the post.

2.) This is what I like to refer to as "functionally described." Once in a while I will reblog something without an image description and tag it #functionally described as an indicator to people that the text in the post fully described the image or images in it.

3.) I usually described them in order, yes.

4.) This one is also tricky. Some will say yes, but there are certain cases, such as headings, where I've yet to encounter someone who benefits from making a smaller plain text version of the large text. I hope some day to meet one, because in theory they exist. I am also a bit more lax with things like bold or italics in moderation, because the research suggesting that can hamper readability for those with dyslexia is really more for huge chunks for text. But again, doesn't necessarily hurt!

5.) That one is up to you! I do it in my bio to make it as easy to get to as possible, but I think a pinned posts is good too. Honestly, I wish they'd let us add alt text to it, it would be a good use for it.

[crypticcodexcreations]

You know, usually, I keep my opinions to myself and the people I trust, but I'm annoyed and have been thinking about this since breakfast and all day so fuck it.

I've been writing for a long long time. For my entire living memory of you count the things I imagined without ever actually writing them down. And here's the problem I've encountered with writeblr. It's not one community, it's two, and they don't want anywhere near the same things.

I can't entirely speak for what the community I don't want to be a part of wants, but they're the people who just care about the numbers from the outside looking in. From my perspective, you see it with the people who talk a whole lot about supporting the community, it's not about the quality, it's about how many asks they send or how many people they've reblogged or whatever. And then whether they're actually well intentioned or if it's for attention, I don't know, they do things like see people complaining about not getting interaction and just go "well keep writing!" Or they send more asks.

And that's when they butt heads with the community I tend to vibe with. The community where it's not about how many of anything we get. It's about seeing a genuine interest in what we're doing. So when people say "man it's discouraging that no one seems to care what I post!" The other group at best goes "just keep writing!"

I'm gonna let you all in on a little secret. I used to write fanfic. Used to post it too. But I didn't stop writing it at the same time I stopped posting it. I stopped posting it when people stopped interacting with it. And then I kept writing it for myself. I just stopped putting in the effort to make it legible for other people when other people stopped interacting with it. I may as well not put in the effort of making others able to read something that's only for myself after all. I then shifted to oh my own original fiction because that's what made me happy.

And the obligatory asks section because I know someone will make this about asks somehow, I don't mind if someone has one WBW ask or STS ask that they want to send to multiple people if it's something that actually makes sense for my works or is broad enough you know? What gets my goat is when someone who's sent me asks before, who's been my mutual for months, sends me a copy paste ask introducing themselves to me. Like, yes, I know who you are. Because we've interacted before. I want to feel like a person, not another number in your follower count. Because here's the secret. I will always be writing. It's just about whether I share it or not. And if I were to decide fuck it, I would still share with the friends I've made here. Because I know they care. It's just a matter of whether I would put my heart and soul into making it available to a bigger audience or not. Because all the people who've screamed in my tags, come into my inbox to ask me things, and be social with me? I have them on Discord. There's no reason for me to bother putting it on Tumblr other than the fact that I love to share it. I'd like more people to enjoy what I write. I want to bring the emotions I write to more people. I want people who can connect to my stories to be able to. I don't want numbers. I want real connections. And if you don't connect with my stories? If they're not to your tastes? Then I don't mind you not sending me asks.

Long story short, I'm not a content creator. I don't care about the numbers. I'm a storyteller who wants to tell stories for the same reason ancient humans did. Connections.

[whcrror]

MORE OF DEBUNKING / ADDRESSING CLAIMS MADE BY DJAQ:

just to further call ridiculousness to the entire situation, we already pointed out that Djaq also copied Nova's aesthetic and it was also glossed over. to use the exact word DJAQ used. Djaq also called attention to this, here:

although that changing of aesthetics never happened did it? not that we remember, anyway. but let us bring attention back to the point at hand. Djaq knew that Nova was using church aesthetics, and yet changed all of her aesthetics to religious aesthetic as-well. which in Djaq's logic (i'm only using her own logic here, as far as she's making clear) is especially bad because she used Gaea when the Church Girl aesthetic was applied to Temperance. She could have used any muse, but of course Gaea is her favorite. but what do we know, right? Djaq is conveniently not going to take responsibility for any of her actions anyway.

Regarding the post above, I think it's safe to say Nova has retracted that statement. If you know the characters aren't too similar why does it bother you so much? why keep bringing it up, time and time again? It feels vindictive, and your behavior in the past very much highlights this. (in a situation with another mun who i will not speak about without permission, but everything is still up for you to look at on the blog: sagaiisms). in-fact regarding the aforementioned situation, Djaq was still talking about this particular situation a month after it occurred, and seemed very happy to compile everything into a neat little bow for everyone to read in warning about this individual. and the mun in question took a year long hiatus after this all went down. we do have receipts of all of this in-case the posts are deleted. We also find this situation problematic in regards to Djaq, but we do not wish to put any additional stress on the mun in question so we will not, until further notice. But again, it's all still public record you can research if you'd like. Djaq also went out of her way to tag Nova in a callout post referenced in a receipt we've already posted, and went through enough blogs to find ONE Nova might have forgotten to block.

Besides this not being on Nova's blog, let's just say that they were for a moment. we thought Nova was already called out by Djaq for 'copying' you or reblogging 'similar aesthetics'. If Djaq accusing Nova of copying over, and over - for years - why wouldn't she take some of the fear out of it, if it's going to keep happening anyway? regardless of the quote Nova gave us as a comment on this, where she'd like to prove Djaq is looking in on her, and in fact 'stalking' -- we empathize with the idea of just leaning into it, if it's going to be brought up again, and again, and again. Before I go on a petty example: if Djaq feels as though this is 'stalking' and has wanted to defend herself against the stalking allegations against her (something she's brought up several times) during this debate:

well, just wednesday this happened: does this mean Djaq is 'stalking' Nova?

or do you see how fucking silly this all is? but since it's not silly to Djaq we're going to continue to document. we also have these from the previous post:

we won't talk about the claim of not giving something 'fanfare' while also making an 'entire ass callout blog' (i'm sorry that Djaq has been labelled a danger, however she has literally tried, and in one case, succeeded for a while, to run people off the site. and she makes a big fanfare out of their cancellation because they did something SHE PERSONALLY didn't appreciate.

admittedly, yes. by a year. because you made her in 2018.

no they haven't and neither have the debunking we've done of your own claims.

but Djaq also felt that way. It's again been addressed but we'll crop the screenshot for reference below: so when Nova says it it's wrong, however it seems fine that Djaq seemed to say the same thing. so did she lie about them being similar, or did she just say it as well?

and just going back to this screenshot for a different point: those in the heading are both the same thing. the italics does not change the definition.

doesn't muutos also use that ellipses? wouldn't it make more sense for nova to get that from her fiancé?

just one more point to make. Temperance is a baker, and Djaq wants to say that their two characters aesthetics are 'too similar'. however, has written this in a thread before:

we hate to make such childish points however based on what we're dealing with, we merely wish to point out the hypocrisy of the entire situation. more to come. @whorrcr @thewhorrcrs

[reineydraws]

aaahhhh your art i love them 😭💞💘💗💓💞💕 i left my compliments in my tags first and then i realized i could respond to @giurochedadomani in this reblog too but i cant copy and paste bc mobile, i hope u dont mind 😅 ur drawings r so wonderful thank u so much for drawing and sharing them!!!!!! :')))

but also ye to answer lau next:

lmao yeah that's totally how it goes 😂 croc plays mihawk like a fiddle and mihawk is aware of this and hates it but also he's not that mad bc have u seen his sword? he's named it yoru. did u see the coat they made for him? the sleeves are loosely laced together to allow for better mobility. they're giving him a hat too, have u seen this. his face is still passive-looking but he's glowing as he talks about it. they're giving him a set piece with a castle on it, have you heard. he's so excited. 😂

i actually think it'd be so funny if this show was about pirates specifically bc of shanks's hockey team btw. everyone knows what they're doing and the allusions to shanks's team are not subtle and it's a clear marketing ploy but, just like mihawk with his costume, everyone lets themselves get played anyways bc c'mon it's shanks from the pirates in a show!!! the captain shanks even though he's not a captain anymore!

also i imagine mihawk's heart will be warmed by this reunion only until they get back into the swing of their siblingship, bc yeah, it will just be clowning in the rink 😂 mihawk thought mb his husband boyfriend husband might make the clown more reasonable but he lost this bet this time and it turns out the clown just makes his husband worse instead. 😂 rip mihawk.

hmm re: ace and whitebeard, like. well i mean i didnt even kill off roger lol he's out there coaching juniors and whatnot, and shanks still had his arm, he just can't really play professionally anymore, so they're definitely still around and kickin'.

i'd say maybe whitebeard does what roger does bc he was starting to feel his age while coaching the nhl and so he stepped back to assistant coach the national junior team with roger, and then also goes head to head with roger with their own junior teams (the mobies vs the oro jacksons haha). the juniors all call him "pops" instead of coach.

in his prime, he brought the white beards the stanley cup and he never ever signed on to another team; a player so prolific for their team (he's the nhl's strongest player!) that even tho the team is called the white beards, when you say "whitebeard" everyone knows you mean newgate, and fans voted to use his face for the logo after he retired to coach hahaha.

aaaaceeeee hmmmmmmmmm idk enough abt hockey to include political intrigue like i wish i could lol. in an ideal world akainu would be some guy with the ability to pull strings targeting ace bc he has a grudge against roger and it would come to a head on the ice or soemthing but since i don't actually know how that would work in the nhl i guess he just ends up with a bad concussion after protecting luffy during a fight.

mb it was pirates vs white beards and akainu is some violent fan... or maybe like a referee or something? that feels like it'd make sense. referee goes rogue bc of personal grudge, tries to attack ace and then targets luffy when that doesn't work. ace is out for the rest of the season, possibly has to leave the league altogether bc he can't risk another concussion 'cuz the one he gets from this fight is debilitating (he moved to intercept the attack heading toward luff after he'd removed his helmet).

UH sports-adjacent roles... well, idk if the marines will be one cohesive company or just like, scattered around in various positions of power lol, definitely including media outlets as well as people who fund and run the nhl. and maybe even the olympic committee.

i think it'd be cute if koby was like an athletic trainer/physio for the olympic team, alongside helmeppo. then again, koby would probably actually be your aforementioned sports journalist, and he's the one that reports it when it turns out someone high up in the nhl is corrupt and committing whatever crime they're committing, or being homophobic or whatnot.

like i didnt think abt the marines that much bc fleshing them out would add plotty angst i wasnt picturing 😂 but i've read a few of those "nhl player coming out" hockey player au's and that'd be the easy answer when considering them for the plot.

like, mishanks ends up breaking up because shanks can't comfortably come out in the nhl even though he knows the pirates will be supportive, and i imagine it's less mihawk pressuring him or feeling like a dirty secret, and moreso shanks starting to let it weigh on him and not communicating about it properly. and mihawk doesn't much care for being out or not--he grew up being told that figure skating was pretty gay and he stopped caring about it--but he starts to get tired of shanks feeling guilty by himself, and he also starts not feeling like enough for shanks bc he's lowkey insecure about his ability to be there for people. it's a sad time all around. they both obviously regret it.

years later, after shanks's injury but before the next olympics, there are rumours of luffy being a contender for the next pirates captain, and a smear campaign starts running against him with rumours that he's queer and it's a bad look for the league, and koby goes to personally interview luffy where he says he's proud to be who he is, which is decidedly not straight in any way, shape, or form. and public support for him skyrockets, which also gets reported on, and mihawk shows up on shanks's doorstep with this article and they have a drink about it. and after a talk where they hash out what happened between them, shanks tweets that he's bi, and then later at the olympics mihawk makes his grand gesture.

sorry anyways that was about mishanks again but yeah i can also see koby and helmeppo being a sports journalist and cameraman, who work for espn but originally mentored under garp's media company (he doesnt believe in pro sports as a viable job bc he's like, a vice CEO of a really popular media business lol he works that 9-5).

i imagined nami as a marketer? really good at predicting how fans will react and what will sell. but i also think it'd be funny if she was like, a news anchor that does the weather and also sports.

ooh making koby and helmeppo reporters means i can make nico robin their athletic trainer/physiotherapist. 😂 she's so good it's like she has a thousand hands, that's what the teams she works with always say.

i think it'd be funny if franky was the zamboni driver, and their practice rink is called the thousand sunny. but also he's a player? it'd be fun if he was also a player.

brook plays in a band during the off-season and he's actually more known for that. it's one of those things where fans of his are always surprised to go on his wikipedia, bc his sports fans will be like, "soul king? he's the soul king???" and his music fans will be like "wdym he's a pro-athlete? wait didn't the pirates win the cup last year? what?" haha

chopper obviously their main doctor

anyways sorry this got long and im not sure there was actually much substance answering your questions in it 🥲 but this is what i've come up with after riffling through my brain lmao hope u enjoyed

@giurochedadomani this au is eating my brain.

someone in the replies of the last post brought up dogsred, a hockey manga where a figure skater becomes a hockey player so that could be zoro lol

i mentioned it there but he becomes a meme bc he was messing around during practice and managed to score with three hockey sticks, one of which was in his mouth! three stick style 😎

like u mentioned, ace is roger's son but it's not common knowledge bc he wanted to make it on his own name instead of under his dad's, who has like, gretzky-level hockey fame. also holds some resentment bc the peak of roger's career was when ace needed him at home.

also like u mentioned, garp totally doesnt believe professional sports is a reliable career in the long run, and despises that most of his grandkids are pro hockey players, and his son went into speed skating and eventually became the olympic coach for the country's olympic speed skaters (incl sabo). koala is also one and her and sabo are on the mix-gendered relay skate.

by the time luffy gets promoted to captain, he's somehow amassed the weirdest team of pirates players ever seen, where many of the regulars just. don't have backgrounds in hockey? where did he find them? how did he convince the league to take them? who knows.

cross guild productions is the brain child of crocodile, who lent buggy a bunch of money to start his company and decided to do this when buggy couldnt pay up when he chased him diwn years later. croc also coaches mihawk, so he decides to strong-arm mihawk into doing guest performances, since he's such a big figure skating name, having the most olympic golds ever win by a single figure skater. mihawk doesnt want to do it until he hears the storyline for the performance, sees his costume sketches, and holds the prop sword. he's just a huge goth dork underneath it all.

after mihawk's grand internationally-aired romantic gesture succeeds and he gets shanks back, shanks manages to convince the cross guild that he's still a good enough skater to do an easy ice show, as long as he doesnt fall on his bad arm like a dumbass. he never does tricks, but people love the character they write for him, as he's so charismatic. he plays mihawk's rival in that season's little show, and gets his own prop sword. every single performance sells out bc mishanks is till a hot topic among ice skating and hockey fans.

sanji comes from a very strict, very decorous mma family, and he never fit in bc he likes cooking and skating. he ran away from home and found a fister parent in zeff, and worked at the baratie growing up, where zeff put him in hockey bc his kid likes skating but he also needs friends his age. despite never wanting to be like his birth family, ironically sanji's one of the best fighters on the pirates.

usopp is a forward and their best shot, and generally always makes it into the net from wherever he's shooting. despite this, he finds being a forward absolutely terrifying and is refularly intimidated by the big guys they face that have no problem getting in his face and starting fights.

[bookishfeylin]

Feel free to ignore if you're tired of hearing about this, but: your tags about SJM injecting real world morals into her stories and then ignoring them. Suddenly I am entirely clicking with where you are and from what point you're making your commentary. SJM is the one who chose to use modern concepts and buzz words for abuse and PTSD, and she is the one who chose to judge some characters by modern moral concepts but not others. That's what makes it so hard to do the usual analysis of characters, so I just don't. But you, if I understand you, are making your analyses to point out the flaws and holes in HER judgments. To show that SHE made it unbalanced and isn't playing by her own rules.

Yes, this is it exactly. I despise hypocrisy, and Sarah's books are unfortunately the pinnacle of such. The same standards that are used to judge Tamlin and Nesta would also render Feysand and co abusive, but the text (read: Sarah's favoritism) refuses to acknowledge that, doing a disservice to her own themes in the first place.

I also want to apologize in advance for the rant this is going to turn into, because man do I have FEELINGS about this.

Part of the reason the ACOTAR fandom is so toxic is because Mrs. Maas applied real world standards to a fantasy series, creating a conundrum where some characters are allowed to exist in and operate within a fantasy-based morality (like Rhysand, the Inner Circle, and Feyre) whilst others are held up to a stricter, real-world morality and are vehemently critiqued in text for failing to meet the moral standards of our world (Tamlin, Nesta, even Lucien), leaving fans of the latter group of characters to call out the hypocrisy in text for their characters being evaluated by standards that the former aren’t held to whilst fans of the former set of characters happily indulge in such hypocritical writing even while promoting this series as an excellent example of handling of real-world themes like abuse (and yes I did copy and paste this entire paragraph from another post of mine lol).

Some weeks back I saw someone on THAT SIDE of the fandom explain that they hated Tamlin because he abused Feyre (valid!) and pull out a picture of Sarah including the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the end of ACOFAS as evidence that liking him was morally wrong or whatever (I'd reblog the post, but OP is, again, on THAT SIDE of the fandom and sadly has me blocked now :( ).

But that same hotline is the one I've used in my analysis of why RHYSAND is abusive here, here, and here. The same source Sarah includes in these books to make a point about Tamlin being abusive also renders Rhysand abusive. But here's what gets me: The person and others like her who were reblogging that pic of the domestic violence hotline were also whining about people judging Rhysand by real world standards. Yes, I'm serious. For a topic like abuse, one deeply personal to me and many others, Sarah (and her fandom) can't pick and choose what characters to apply real world standards to. Not for something like this.

But we don't even have to use real world standards to call out the hypocrisy in how her characters were written--we can use ACOTAR's own morality as well. Case in point: Nesta's treatment in ACOSF. Locking Nesta up is treated as the right thing to do in ACOSF, but ACOMAF goes OUT OF ITS WAY to show that locking someone up is wrong and is a violation of your personal bodily autonomy, NO MATTER THE REASON. This action is often defended in one of two ways: by stans saying that Nesta was embarrassing Feysand when they needed to be keeping up appearances for the court, or, more commonly, because Nesta was an alcoholic. But neither reply holds water. If Nesta embarrassing Feysand in ACOSF was bad because they needed to keep up appearances as the court rebuilt and prepared for war with the mortal queens and Koschei, then... that justifies Tamlin getting upset with Feyre over the tithe several books earlier. That was his logic for being upset that Feyre gave the water wraith her jewelry, and also his logic for (according to fandom) "stuffing her in dresses"--keeping up appearances for the people and preventing Hybern from finding any weakness to exploit (again, this is according to fandom. In the books, the dresses were chosen by Ianthe but we both know no one pays attention and Tamlin is blamed for everything anyway). So either Tamlin was justified in ACOMAF, or Feysand are wrong. Nesta's alcoholism isn't a good excuse either, because if she were truly an alcoholic, Feysand would've put a healer in the House with her to help her through withdrawal and prevent her from having a seizure and dying, which I'll discuss in more detail in my upcoming post about Nesta. Either way, Feysand's treatment of Nesta was inexcusable by ACOTAR's own rules that say locking people up is bad, and in trying to excuse this some stans accidentally justify Tamlin's behavior in ACOMAF as he had the same excuses.

This also applies to the Inner Circle voting on whether or not to keep Nesta's powers a secret from her--didn't ACOMAF also say that that was bad and controlling on Tamlin's part? Why is Tamlin keeping Feyre's magic a secret abusive and controlling, but the Inner Circle deciding to do the same (even if it failed anyway) is fine?

The hypocrisy that began in ACOMAF in which Tamlin was declared abusive but Rhysand wasn't despite Rhysand... also being abusive spiraled out of control in ACOSF and is ultimately what fractured this fandom, and because of said hypocrisy nothing after ACOTAR 1 is enjoyable for me.

So yes. Beyond ACOTAR 1, I'm forced to evaluate the characters with the real-world morals Sarah decided to randomly include, and in doing so can't help but be faced by this series' own hypocrisy, and I'm hoping my analysis will allow others to see that the hypocrisy ultimately causes it to fold in on itself and destroys its own point.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laisse tomber les filles 1

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; tags to be added as story progresses

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: Just so you’re aware, this takes place during the mid-60s and Lee is a little older than in the movie :) Just so you’re not confused.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You felt alone on campus. 

When you got your acceptance, your parents swore it would be the experience of a lifetime, not to mention the value of education. Always the quiet one, withdrawn and wispy, the thought of moving away from home and living among strangers made you nervous. 

Your first day in the dormitory assured you of your doubts and a semester in, you were still the sore thumb among the six girls in your unit. Your lectures were your sole respite from the pressure to make friends and fit in. You were always early and always intent on the professor.

That was what you were there for after all. If you wanted to hold onto your bursary, you had to maintain your average. You couldn’t be like the other students; you didn’t have rich parents or a trust fund, your degree actually had to mean something.

That night, you walked back from the evening book club meeting alone, as usual. You signed up in hopes you might meet someone like yourself, someone who didn’t just want to drink or smoke. While the members weren’t interested in the party life, they made you feel awful stupid as you struggled to pick up on the same themes in your readings and your sharing skills were never strong. 

When it was your turn to talk about the chapter, you stuttered and muttered until you just gave up. You replayed the disastrous meeting in your head, the used copy of Nabakov under your arm as your bag swung against your side. 

The sky turned a deepening azure as you reached Greek row and heard the muffled crackle of a record player and the buzz of voices from the largest of white houses painted with their respective fraternity colours. It was that new kind of music, the kind that made you want to hop, the kind the Christian club lobbied against on campus green.

As you got further down the street, the late winter crisp crawled up your thick stockings and made you shiver. You got closer to the raucous façade and watched as a couple stumbled out in bubbly conversation and quickly embraced against a pillar of the porch. You kept your head down and focused on the sidewalk.

A flash of blue and the ‘wop’ of a siren brought you to a halt. You stopped just at the corner of the frosty yard, the cloudy breath of the co-eds filling the air as they parted. The cruiser door opened and closed loudly and steady footsteps crossed the street. You watched from the shadows as the officer strode up the walk and stopped at the bottom of the stairs, propping his foot up on the lowest plank.

“You kids are bein’ awfully loud,” his voice carried above the din, he had the local accent that lilted his tone so that even the meanest words were dampened.

“Sorry, officer,” the girl pulled away from the boy and came to the top of the steps, “it’s Friday and we were just having fun--”

“Yeah, yeah,” the cop said as he hooked his thumb on his belt, “y’all know I’m here every week… you turn that racket down or maybe I come in and find something that needs confiscatin’.”

“Got it,” the frat boy said as he stood beside the girl, “I’ll tell Leighton.”

“Ain’t fun for me neither,” the officer slid his foot down to the ground, “I don’t like to ruin you kids’ night.”

“Thank you, officer,” the boy said, “I’m goin’ now.”

“Mhmm, I’ll see you next week then,” the cop scoffed as the boy grabbed the girl and dragged her inside. His voice called through the noise of the crowd for the boy Leighton and the music dulled just enough that it was only a subtle hum, “funny kids.”

The officer turned and chuckled as he reached into his jacket. He paused and his eyes wandered over to you as you stood silently by the edge of the yard. He pulled out a small box and tapped out a toothpick as he smiled at you. He replaced the box in his pocket as he stopped short.

“You headin’ in, girl?” he asked as he placed the toothpick between his lips, “looks like you late for the party.”

“Uh, no, I was just… going home,” you slowly urged yourself forward, “didn’t want to get in your way.”

You tapped towards him in your mary janes as you adjusted the book in your hand. He watched you approach as you kept your head down, just wanting to get past and get on to your dorm.

“Hold up,” he said just as you reached him, “you walkin’ home all alone after dark?”

“My dorm is just… just around the corner,” you said as you stopped and kept your eyes on his shoes, “thank you, officer.”

“Now, I don’t care if it’s just right there, you shouldn’t be alone,” he insisted, “how’s bout a ride, hmm? I gotta make a round of the campus anyway.”

“I can make it on my own…” you began and he tutted, “I mean, thank you, I suppose it’s rude to… um…”

“You’re not from these parts, huh?” he asked, “you got that accent. Real fine.”

“Uh uh,” you uttered, “it’s a nice place though.”

“City is, but the rest of the county...” he remarked, “you must be far from home then.”

“A little,” you shrugged.

“Well,” he rubbed his hands together, “let’s get goin’, it’s cold tonight.”

“Thank you, again,” you slowly followed him as he backed away and turned to cross the street.

“Not at all,” he said warmly as he neared the car and pulled open the back door, “one thing, it’s against policy to let passengers in the front seat.”

“Oh?” you blinked and looked into the cruiser, “I can walk, I--”

“Go on,” he waved you in, “probably comfier back there anyhow.”

You gave a tight-lipped smile and slid into the back seat. You swept your bag up into your lap as the door snapped shut and tucked the book under the flap. The car shifted as he got in the front and he looked at you in the wide rear view mirror.

“Mind my manners, I didn’t even introduce myself, Sheriff Bodecker,” he jingled his keys as he spoke, “and you, honey?”

You hesitated at the added pet name. No one ever called you anything but ‘miss’ or ‘young woman’. You cleared your throat and shifted as you tugged nervously at your scarf as it pressed against your chin. It was damp from your hot breath. You gave him your name and shrank back against the leather.

“This your first year?” he asked as he pulled out and tossed his toothpick out the window.

“Yes, sir,” you answered and you saw his head tilt just slightly as he drove slowly.

“You like it?” he continued.

“It’s… new,” you said stiffly, “I don’t know many people but I… I’m learning a lot.”

“Oh, I hear they teach lots of interesting things these days. Lotta red nonsense,” he sighed, “which way am I goin’, honey?”

“Left, sir, the third building on your right with the orange brick,” you replied.

“No parties to go to?” he snickered as he came up to your dormitory and rolled to a stop.

“I… I’m not much for them, sir,” you said as you tried the handle but the door didn’t budge.

“Sorry, forgot about that,” he got out and opened the door from outside, “there ya go.”

You stepped out and your foot slipped on a patch of thin ice. You caught yourself on the door as he grabbed your arm and helped steady you. You laughed nervously and thanked him.

“Careful there,” he said, “hate for you to mess up that face, honey.”

“I’m alright,” you assured him and carefully drew away from him, “thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s just my job,” he sniffed, “you know, keepin’ the campus safe… when I can.”

“I’m sure you have much more to worry about than some college kids,” you said.

“Eh, you’d be surprised,” he intoned, “I’m around on Fridays, there’s always noise complaints ‘round here.”

You were quiet, unsure what to say or how to detach yourself gracefully. You just wanted to go inside and listen to the radio as you reread the chapter. You smiled nervously and he looked down at you beneath the streetlight.

“I might see you around,” he said, “and don’t mind givin’ ya another ride, ya know? Can’t have you lost in the dark, heh.”

“It’s nice of you, sir, but I’m grown now, I can take care of myself,” you assured him, though you hated how black it got on this side of campus.

“Well, don’t be shy, give me a wave if you see me,” he closed the door as you sidestepped it, “and you have a good night. Get yourself warmed up with some nice tea… though I know you college kids prefer a harder comfort.”

“I don’t drink,” you said awkwardly, “but, uh… good night, officer.”

You went around the back of the car and stepped up onto the curb. You went up to the grated door and fished out your key. You peeked over your shoulder as you unlocked the door and found the Sheriff watching you over the roof of his car. 

His large-brimmed hat shadowed his face and his constant gaze sent a shiver through you, but that could’ve been the nightly chill. You gave a small wave and let yourself in, quickly hiding behind the inner door, happy to be home safe.

[simmancy]

Happy Spooky Season, ghosts & ghouls! 

I’m participating in @simblreenofficial​ again this year! My blog is getting appropriately spooky (its a WIP). Here’s what’s happening this month on simmancy-dot-tumblr-dot-com.

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜! 👋

Hi there if you’re new! My name is Kit, I am 31 now, this is my simblr, it’s a mess. When I’m actively posting, I post a variation of gameplay and some very basic storytelling and sometimes poorly done edits, so if that isn’t your jam, that’s okay! Just letting you know, k-pop inspired sims and vampires might be here, sometimes the pictures are sorta pretty. There’s a disclaimer on the blog stating that generally my content is akin to PG-13, anything you could construe as being above that rating gets tagged.

Sometimes I post CC. It’s rare but it happens.

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚎 🍬

I’ll be participating in simblreen festivities again this year! The first weekend my porchlight will be on all 3 days, a different tiny gift each day. When you see that the porchlight is on, feel free to come knocking! If you miss it, don’t fear–I’ll be releasing them all on October 31!

As of right now, I’m not planning on participating the full time the second weekend as I have IRL plans but I’m not sure if I’ll do a candy bowl or not. We’ll see!!

𝟸𝟾 𝙱𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝙰𝚂 🧛

I’ve been trying to work on some of these up but I am famously lazy. ANYWAY though I am trying to do this challenge by @nikatyler​ so if you are ALSO vampire obsessed let a girl know. I love a good vampire!!

𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🌕

Hi regular followers!! I’m working on queueing Not So Perry (my Not So Berry challenge) as well as Star x Crossed (my s-pop story). They are going slowly because I’m currently ✨ tired ✨. This week I think I’m going to take a break from both and mostly do reblogs and finally clear out my ask box, so I can focus of finishing shooting Episode 1 of Star x Crossed.

I have another two saves I’ve been working on/playing in the background that are meant for simblr but I’m not ready to share them... just yet. Maybe soon!

I might drop ACNH content again too LMAO I’m currently back to hanging out on my island of Briarwood... Going on vacation and being away from my computer for a week really made me pick ACNH back up, yes.

𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚄𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 🔮

I copied and pasted this whole newsletter format from the year I got married :’) That was two years ago now!! Time sure does fly??

My “new job” isn’t so new anymore--I’ve been there a year--and it’s still pretty good! It keeps me busy... And this time of year can be unpredictable so while I’m not super-duper busy right this second it could change in an instant. We also have another round of weddings coming up to attend, plus my better half and I now throw the annual Halloween party in our friend group. 

I also read more, but that’s because my coworker keeps giving me books LMAO

Anyway, that’s my update of the year. Happy spooky season everybody! I hope it’s a good one!

Stay safe & spooky out there!

[good-vs-evo]

got tagged by both of u so! here we go!

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's a silly little play on "good verses evil", based on the way i pronounce my name!

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. uh. ahem. @ev-writes-things is my writing sideblog, @cafe-for-palestine is a sideblog i run with my friend to fundraise for palestine, and then there are three others we do not speak of

3. how long have you been on tumblr? uhhh. counts backwards. 2018...? or 2017!

4. do you have a queue tag? i know what a queue tag is but i do NOT

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? haha. the first version of this blog was a asoue fanblog... then it kinda spiraled! i got tumblr because both of my sisters did ^^ and i'm the only one still here...

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? my friend drew it for me! ily @deliwobbe

7. why did you choose your header? wangxian,,, and it matched the green aesthetic hehe

8. what’s your post with the most notes? CLEARS THROAT LMAO IT'S MY BIG NONSENSE TGCF MULTISHIPPING POST... and maybe the post abt hualian...

9. how many mutuals do you have? i haven't counted them ummm... def around 20, maybe more? and there's a few i don't rlly interact with as much hdfshdjf

10. how many followers do you have? 111, the last time i checked hehe

11. how many people do you follow? a lot. i

12. have you ever made a shitpost? basically constantly actually. like all the time.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? i'm not sure... it used to be a lot more but i got busier with g4g stuff!!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nahhh

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 50/50, it's a toss up lol

16. do you like tag games? what if i said no LMAO NAH they're fun :D

17. do you like ask games? they're awesome but my ask box is a black hole

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea. maybe @astrowaffles? because vhas knew them already... and my artist friend but they. technically don't follow me HELP

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? probably not idk

20. what is the last song you listened to? listening to main character by will wood literally rn LMAO

21. what are you currently watching? the untamed C: and link click!

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? why is sour not an option :( prob savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? (said with reluctance) tgcf...

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

take it or leave it by COIN

burn like a star by ahn ye eun and woo ye rin

unrestrained (the untamed closing theme lol)

60's baby by kidsnot$aints

is this what love is? by wasia project

backseat girl by isaac dunbar

sunburn by spill tab

ruler of my heart by bl8m

海岸引力 by 翟瀟聞 (had to copy paste that from spotify help)

STOP VHAS WHY DID U TAG ALL OF THE PEOPLE I EVER SPOKE TO THATS EVIL is this payback. fine.

summoning some of u back to tumblr (stares cae down /lh) @caeprus @deliwobbe @stellarhangout @muigiel @osamosa11 @littlemissmedicalmalpractice @gxlexii @yeyayeya and yeah that's basically everyone i know,,, no pressure guys!! :D

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[indigosuvi]

An argument suddenly becomes sexual Dabi

Hard To Love

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 612 | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist

His personality was as fiery as his quirk was. You were the opposite. You were kind and caring. Very rarely did you both fight. You both found a way to make things work and worked things out. There was never a time when things didn't work. It had been a hard time getting to know him and getting close to him. He wasn't trusting of others due to his past. He preferred to keep to himself and not let anyone into his life. It was better that way. He wasn't going to get hurt again. Yet, there was something about you that pulled him into you. Something that sets you apart from everyone else. When he fell for you, he fell harder for you than he did for anyone else he had ever met before. You never once thought about leaving him. You wanted him as much as he wanted you.

“Why don't you just mind your own damn business?”

You blinked. You couldn't think of a response. You were at a loss for words.

“Why won't you let me into your life?”

He tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He turned away and pressed his head against the wall.

You took a hesitant step closer. Another one. You were inches away. You placed a comforting hand on his arm. Your hand shook as it made its way to his arm.

“I don't want to get hurt again.”

“I won't hurt you. I promise.” You said quietly. 

“That's what everybody else says, but they all betray me in the end.”

“I haven't left you. I'm not going to.” You said in a desperate attempt to convince him. You were never really convincing, but you still tried.

He closed his eyes, and a brief smile appeared on his face. You couldn't see it, but you still kept your hand on his arm. He turned toward you; his eyes met yours. He gently took your face in his hand and brought you closer to him. His lips met yours, and you kissed him back. You weren't afraid of him. Sure, he had a quirk that could kill you. You knew he wouldn't hurt you, and you trusted him. You didn't flinch when he took your face in his hand. The kiss deepened, and your hands touched his abs. His hand moved away from your chin, and gently, his fingertips brushed the curve of your neck. You shuddered at the slight touch of him. His hand found your waist, and he held you close. While your hands made their way up under his shirt, his hand slipped beneath your shirt, and he slid your shirt higher up your body. You separated, and you took your shirt off while he removed his. His hand was pressed against the wall. Your eyes met his.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked with his voice low.

“Yes, do you?” 

“Yes.”

His hands worked to remove the rest of your clothes, as well as his. He took his hardened length in his hands and stroked himself a few times, letting out a moan as he did. His fingers found their way to you, and he stroked/rubbed you a few times. You were already wet, and he simply smirked. He lifted you off the ground and aligned himself with your hole. Your arms are wrapped around his neck. He slid himself into you, and you let out a moan. His hands grasped your hips as he slowly began to move back and forth. He took his time as he began to slowly pick up speed, going harder and faster as he did.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris, @117s-girl, @ssbptigers / Join my tag list here!

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

listen…i need…I NEEEEDDD a fluffy/angsty continuation of what you just reblogged about Sarah’s heart stopping— like ❤️🥺😭❤️🥺😭

I DID NOT JUST STOP EVERYTHING THAT I WAS DOING AT 1AM TO WRITE THIS. I DEFINITELY DID NOT WRITE 1500 WORDS. AND I *DEFINITELY* DID NOT CRY WHILE WRITING THIS.

If you don't know what post this is talking about, you can read it here. it was an anonymous ask that got sent to @ghostiewriter and I reblogged with my own tags bc I enjoy hurting myself.

It's unedited. I literally just started typing, finished, copy, and pasted. You... you may want some tissues though.

Also you get gifs because if I get to experience them and cry, then you do too.

"I'm not choosing him over you, Sarah-"

"Bullshit, yes you are!"

The Pogues had never seen Sarah so angry. Sure, Ward and Rafe had seen her angry in the past, but not to the point that she's currently screaming at. Let alone with it aimed at her father.

"Do you even hear yourself?!" She continues, waving an arm around.

Ward puts his hands up in surrender, trying to calm his daughter and take charge of the situation. "Sarah, please."

"He tried to fucking kill me! Dad!"

"Honey, he didn't mean it-" Ward starts and Rafe took a step towards his sister and explains he was aiming for John B.

Sarah's eyes are wild again. "Did you hear what he just said?!" She throws a hand at Rafe. He takes another step towards her and it's a bit too close for comfort because she instantly moves away from him.

Behind them, JJ sees his best friend's gaze flicker between the siblings and he knows he's trying to decide when to intervene. He moves to stand next to John B in silent support. Because if anyone even touches Princess, they're immediately going down. No questions asked.

"Sarah, c'mon it's not like it was even that bad." Rafe tries to play the "sisters-being-over-dramatic" card, but Sarah shuts that shit down instantly.

She turns her body from where she was facing between the two, now to square off with her brother. She sets her jaw and stares him down.

How did they get here? There was a point in time when Rafe was like a second father to her. He protected her always: helping her down from the couch when her legs were too short to reach the floor, carrying her to their mom when she fell off her bike and scraped her knees up. Sarah was his world at one time. So how did they get to where they currently stood. To the point where she legitimately feared for her life just by looking at him.

She wasn't sure if the tears were from the realization that she couldn't pinpoint when the change in her brother had happened, or if her emotions from the current conflict were just catching up with her. Probably both, though.

Rafe held her eye contact, and stopped moving toward her. He just stood there. Watching. Waiting.

"You did kill me you know." The juxtaposition from her screaming just a few moments earlier, to the low, shaky voice she spoke with now dropped the words like dead weight.

The gasp was collective. The silence after was deafening.

She still stared at her brother, waiting for a reaction. He broke her gaze, looking down to the bandage that covered the stitches still holding her skin together. He clenched his jaw the same way she always did and it was like looking in a mirror.

"Sarah?" Her dads broken whisper made her gaze flick to him.

She nodded, setting her jaw in an attempt to appear more confident than she was. "Yeah," she started. "that's right." She nodded, chancing a look at Rafe (who at least had enough sense to look conflicted) before looking back to the father that broke her. "My heart stopped." She closed her eyes, not able to look at the world around her while saying the words. "I was dead." She flicked her eyes back open. "I flat-lined, and for a few minutes I was... dead."

It was the first time she said the words out loud. And as the last word fell from her lips, she felt an adrenaline rush jolt through her veins. She muttered "I was dead" to herself through shaky breaths, and immediately felt like she wasn't getting enough air. Panic. Panic. Panic. She took a step back from the two men who, at one time, were the most important to her, and closer to her new found family. She started when she felt an arm wrap across her hips, but relaxed in an instant when she felt John B's telltale bracelets through the thin material of her shirt.

She turned into him, body trembling as the weight of the words finally sank in. "I was dead." She repeated.

"Sarah!" Ward called, and it wasn't the first time her dad sounded in pain when he called for her.

She faintly recognized JJ's voice speaking, but she couldn't make out what he was saying because all of a sudden, John B's whispers were in her ear, forcing her to hear the truth of his words.

"Hey, listen to me, I've got you, okay, I'm right here." He pulled her to his chest, cradling her head right above his heart. "I'm right here, we're both here." When her body stopped trembling after a couple moments, he put his hands on either side of her face so he could pull her head back to rest his forehead against hers. "Look at me, okay. I've got you. It's just you and me. And I'm not going to let your heart stop again, okay?" He nodded his head to show he meant it, and her eyes closed as she copied his movements.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw the tears in his. He brought her head to his lips so he could kiss her forehead. "You're alive, baby, you're right here."

She nodded against him as she pulled his body to hers, letting her own tears fall as she put herself in his shoes and thought about the hell that he had been through watching her lifeless body on the table. They had talked about the incident briefly, John B sticking straight to the facts, so she knew what had happened but not the pain it must have inflicted on him.

Sarah gives herself another few moments to stay in his hold before she turns in his arms to face her father and brother once again. When she turned, the first thing she saw was the navy Pelican Marina logo that was on the back of JJ's t-shirt. He had stepped between what was left of the Cameron family in order to protect her. John B had his arms around her chest now, holding him to her and burying his face into her hair.

"The only reason," Sarah started, JJ moving back to stand next to her when he heard her speaking to everyone, "that I'm even alive right now..." her voice broke on "alive" and she attempted to swallow past the lump in her throat. "Is because this man," she closed her eyes and willed herself not to break down completely, "wouldn't take no for an answer."

Ward looked on helplessly. Rafe's eyes were still glued to that damn bandage.

"He-" she couldn't help the sob that left her throat, and the immediate kiss to her hair almost broke her even more. "He did compressions... pressed on my chest..." she wanted to stop so it wouldn't hurt so bad, but she needed them, everyone, to understand. "Pressed on my chest," she pulled her hands away and mimicked performing chest compressions. "Again, and again, and again." She sobbed again as if she could feel the grief start to pull her down. "Until my heart started working again."

She took a step out of her savior's arms and toward her father with all the remaining strength she had left. She heard John B muffle a sob behind her, and immediately heard Pope speaking to him.

Another step closer to her father. He looked so tormented. Good. She could feel JJ next to her, walking in line with her, ready in case someone made a move or in case she broke completely.

Sarah stopped when she was two steps away from Ward.

"So don't think for a second that you have any say over me ever again." JJ was the most on edge he could ever remember being. He watched her pierce Rafe with the look of a sister disappointed in a brother. She looked back at Ward with the look of stranger to stranger. "When you chose my murderer over me."

Ward's eyes closed as he realized the weight of the situation. Nodded in understanding for a moment before attempting: "For what it's worth, Sarah--"

"It's not worth anything." JJ interrupted before she even could think of it. He gave a pointed look to them both before pulling Sarah to his chest and shielding her from their sight. "You should leave."

In the end, they decided that was their best course of action, and began to walk back to the truck that was parked 50 feet away. When they made it out of earshot, JJ whispered, "they're gone. You're safe." And it felt like the world came crashing down.

Her legs gave out, and JJ followed as he sunk to his knees in the sand with her. She sobbed unrelentingly into him and in less than 30 seconds, John B's arms wrapped around her from behind, his head burying into her shoulder as he broke down as well.

More bodies surrounded them, and she knew it was the rest of her family. They sat in the sand, the five of them, holding each other and occasionally whispering words of comfort.

Right now they were broken. Hurt. Grieving. Coping.

But they were together.

And every single one of their hearts were beating.