#And together they get him medicated and moved to a safe location until he's ready to fight again

[shannonsketches]

your tien / krillin / yamcha musings are soooo on point i hate when people make fun of them (in a srs way) like you would literally not last 5 seconds with raditz please calm down! they are humans trying to keep up with aliens and creatures it is not a fair fight for them lol. okay i'm done *backs away*

Sorry this is something I love to harp on you activated my trap card because as MUCH as I love to drag Yamcha and the human crew playfully, they actually fucking rule and I love to yell about why aaAAAA It's not a fair fight, and like that's a huge part of what makes them so cool, IMO! Goku and Piccolo and the other non-humans in the cast know they have this sort of flexible ceiling for growth, and can at least do what they can against non-human threats. The human squad doesn't! They're bound by pretty rigid limitations -- even for guys like Roshi who's over a century old -- and they still show up and fight with everything they have for each other and the planet they love. Their collective dedication to helping Goku despite the odds is ultimately the thing that makes characters like Vegeta and Piccolo believe in the power of love too. They've seen it work!

Goku isn't the one who beat Vegeta; Krillin, Gohan, and Yajiorobe did. They saved Goku and the planet by refusing to yield to their fear of what Vegeta could do to them, and just kept fighting tooth and nail to keep him from killing Goku until he had no choice but to retreat -- for the first time in his life.

-- SPOILERS AHEAD for Yo! Son Goku OVA, DBS movies, and DBS manga --

In Yo! Son Goku and Friends Return, while Goku and Vegeta are focused on the baddie, the human Z-fighters are the ones protecting everyone else from the damage the battle is causing.

In Resurrection F, Toriyama reminds the class that these guys aren't just sitting on their hands waiting for Goku to save them -- Krillin, Roshi, Piccolo, Tien, and Gohan take down the entire Freeza force. The only one the others struggle with, Gohan takes down, and the five of them -- in equal measure with Gohan -- leave only Freeza standing.

And idk if it's to make up for how bad the anime bagged on Yamcha, or for the joke of Yamcha not showing up to Res F or being invited to the ToP, but Toriyama and Toyatarou put on their Yamcha Defense Squad hats for the manga, and he shows up to not only rescue Tien and Chiaoutzu, but also holds it the fuck down with the two of them against a massive invasion of the Galactic Patrol's most wanted list.

Toriyama was super vocal about how did not like Goku being portrayed as a super hero in the anime and earlier movies, and spent a huge portion of both DBZ and DBS' manga actively telling the audience that he's not the only person protecting Earth.

In Toriyama's version of the story, since beating Piccolo Goku has not won a "boss battle" alone (except arguably Freeza, which Trunks had to finish) and even in the fight against Piccolo, he survived because his friends were there to carry him off the battlefield and heal him. Even if his friends can just buy him time and play supporting roles, the core of the series is that Goku's success is almost never riding on his power alone. His second most iconic finishing move requires asking for help! His strength is built on the shoulders of his friends. He and Earth are alive because he has people he can count on to keep him and his planet alive (or at least wish them both back).

That's why it's important that he can't just beat the bad guy with a shiny new power up. Goku is usually the closing act, but it always takes support, it always requires community, it always requires banding together and lending their strength, and that is intentionally, repeatedly, the moral of the story!

Power Alone Ain't Shit If We Stick Together and Don't Give Up!! That's why DBS: Super Hero is so important beyond "Make Piccolo and Gohan relevant again" -- not only to have an entire story of "What if Goku and Vegeta aren't around to save everyone," (since Toei decided to absolutely kneecap the point and the humor of BotG being "What would Vegeta do if he can't default the role protagonist to Anyone Else") -- but also to have Goku have a match be PURELY reserved, no power-scaling, no fancy tricks, and LOSE, and be happy about it.

The point has never been how cool and sexy power is (in fact that's an on-screen statement of the philosophy Goku was raised on).

It's about the chance to learn and grow and live your best life because you put in the work and are passionate about what you do. It is the core thing that Goku and the human Z-Fighters have all, always, had in common.

The human Z-Fighters didn't just stop working and caring about martial arts and protecting Earth because Goku got strong. They all keep working and keep fighting and keep showing up, despite how strong Goku and the opponents he faces are. The human fighters are hands down the most badass people in the series.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

And Tomorrow, Too.

I'm back!

Much love and many thanks to @stinastar @hailhailsatan @newnamesamecharlotte and @veritasrose for helping me yank this thing out of my brain!

Please enjoy this hurt/comfort that ends with glorious, glorious fluff.

TW: Blood, canon typical injury, infection

Jaskier was having a very rough day, objectively speaking.

He’d just finished dressing after a dip in the river when a lone bandit surprised him, shoving him to the dirt and kicking him in the ribs to keep him down. Having dealt with a gut-punch from a Witcher, Jaskier had recovered faster than anticipated and tackled the stranger to the ground.

“Foolish troubadour,” the bandit snarled. There was the quick flash of something silver and a sudden white-hot pain shot up the bard’s side from his hip to his ribcage.

“Shit,” Jaskier gasped, clutching desperately at his slashed doublet. The panicked bandit scooped up the largest of the bard’s travel bags and darted into the woods, leaving his bloodied weapon lying atop a pile of leaves beside his victim. When Jaskier pulled his hand away from the wound on his ribcage he grimaced; that was more blood than he’d been hoping to see. “Fucking cock.”

After he stripped to the waist and rinsed off in the river a second time, Jaskier took inventory of himself. The cut started at his left hip and slid up his ribcage to just beneath his left shoulder, and it was practically impossible to bandage; any attempt to wrap the upper half of his injury made him bite his lip to keep from screaming in anguish.

It was agony to move more than a few inches in either direction, since the twisting motion pulled at his torn skin and stung like hellfire. All he could really do was apply a loose poultice of chewed mint leaves to ward against infection and tie his shirt around his torso in lieu of a bandage. His cloak would have to work even harder than usual to keep him warm until Geralt arrived.

“Alright, well,” he muttered to no one as he accounted for the rest of his scattered clothing and supplies. “I need to find somewhere to rest and gather what wits I still possess… somewhere that’s still close enough for Geralt to find me. Shit, this isn’t good.”

The bard thanked every god he knew when he managed to find a small cave less than a hundred yards from the enormous oak tree where he met Geralt every year. He limped his remaining belongings into the slightly cramped space and deposited them against the left wall.

---

Fortunately for Jaskier, the idiot bandit had declared his beautiful elven lute “too bulky and annoying to carry”, and had left Sexy well enough alone. Unfortunately, the ruffian had still made off with all the bard’s coin from at least two months’ worth of contracted performances, most of his medical supplies, and most of his rations, as well.

But Jaskier had spent years at Geralt’s side and the Witcher had taught him how to deal with emergencies of every variety. Jaskier wasn’t about to disappoint his companion by flailing about ineffectively like some noble-born dunce at a time like this. No, Jaskier was determined to be healthy and ready to travel again by the time Geralt arrived in Kaedwen to find him. They only had a week or two together before they separated again for the winter and he wasn’t going to lose a single precious second in Geralt’s presence due to some silly highwayman.

Lovelorn fool that he was.

The bard used his remaining strength to gather a few armfuls of firewood and light some dried leaves with his flint and steel. He laid out his bedroll against the back wall so that he could see clearly if anyone approached from outside and wrapped his arms around Sexy to keep her safe. He re-wrapped his wound with more crushed mint and laid down to try and get some sleep.

Hopefully Geralt would arrive soon with his medical supplies and more water.

Hopefully.

---

After two long days spent huddled in a miserable lump at the back of the cave, anxiously scanning the horizon for any sign of another bandit (or Geralt) and unable to gather food or kindling, Jaskier was exhausted from lack of sleep. The wound in his side ached and burned far worse than it had on that first afternoon, aggravated by sweat and debris that had crept through his makeshift bandages.

Any added pressure around the edges of the cut made the skin nearly creak with the building strain of infection. He whimpered involuntarily every time he took a breath and trembled at any shift in the autumn breeze. It seemed as if his very bones were aching as his body flashed between the white-hot and freezing cold of a raging fever.

Slowly, and with a great effort on the part of his illness, Jaskier succumbed to the injury and sank into the quiet warmth of unconsciousness.

---

“Jaskier?” Geralt called, guiding Roach around another circuit of the old oak tree. “Are you there, Jaskier? We need to make it to the fork in the Pontar before the harvest ends and I’m in no mood for practical jokes.”

Nothing.

All his Witcher hearing picked up on were leaves twitching in the wind and a few rabbits foraging off to his left. Not even Jaskier could stay so still, even for a joke; his heartbeat and the uptick in his breathing would give him dead away.

“Well, I’m going to town.”

Geralt was about to wheel Roach back toward the road in search of a nearby inn when he caught a whiff of something on the wind - something that sent his heart plummeting into his boots.

Blood.

Jaskier’s blood. And it wasn’t fresh.

He dropped silently from the saddle and gave the signal for Roach to stay put. After a few careful breaths and some shuffling through the autumn leaves, Geralt discovered the bandit’s discarded dagger, still rusty-red around the tip and left edge.

“Fuck! Jaskier!” Geralt called, glancing around the small copse in the woods. “Jaskier, where are you!?”

The Witcher closed his eyes and tilted his head back to better clear his airways. He took a deep breath in through his nose and focused every one of his heightened senses on locating the bard. There it was again to his right, but slightly stronger. “Fucking hells.”

Geralt did his best to follow the trail without panicking. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if he lost his head while the bard was in mortal danger. If the bard was in mortal danger, he tried to reassure himself.

But if Jaskier had recovered he would have been waiting at the oak. Geralt knew that. He knew it with every fiber of his being, though he wouldn’t admit anything aloud. Jaskier’s long autumn absence had already set him on edge when he’d caught the blood-smell. “Gods-dammit, bard. Please be alive. Please, Jaskier, I can’t-”

Geralt bit his tongue and continued to follow the bard’s weak scent into the woods. After too many minutes - perhaps five or six at the speed Geralt was moving - the Witcher reached a small cave. The mouth of said cave was nearly covered-over with dry leaves and Geralt could tell, even from this distance, that Jaskier was not faring well at all. The whole area smelled like rot. Like decay. If it weren’t for the bard’s fluttering heartbeat echoing faintly from within the tiny cavern, the Witcher would have fallen to his knees and wept with despair at his untimely death.

When Geralt ducked inside and reached to pull Jaskier into his arms, the bard struggled weakly. “No, please,” he rasped. “D-Don’t kill me.”

“I’m not going to kill you, Jaskier,” Geralt replied softly. He shifted the thick leather strap of Sexy’s case over his shoulder and hefted the bard into his arms in one swift movement. Those usually brilliant blue eyes looked up at him in utter confusion. The irises were dull and foggy with sickness; the Witcher’s heart lurched in his chest and he turned back to the path, doubling his speed in his hurry to reach Roach. “You don’t have to worry any more, sweet Julek. I’m going to get you to safety.”

“If you must kill me-” Jaskier continued, muttering frantically as if Geralt hadn’t said anything at all “-then p-please do me one last f-favor. I need you to p-please find a Witcher. F-Find the White Wolf. Tell h-him… Tell him that I…”

Then the weight in Geralt’s arms seemed to increase by a fraction and the bard went silent. The Witcher shook the sweating, shaking bundle in his arms but Jaskier remained quiet.

“What do you want to tell him, Jaskier?” Geralt glanced down. His eyebrows furrowed deeply when he realized the human had fallen unconscious. The hummingbird pace of Jaskier’s fluttering heartbeat began to hammer even faster and his breaths were far too shallow. The Witcher rumbled out a determined, desperate plea the universe to save his darling songbird, followed by a quiet but emphatic, “Fuck.”

---

“Eskel!” Geralt kicked down the door to the kitchen of Kaer Morhen with one solid boot. He hadn't slept in two days and his body ached from sprinting up the path with a full-grown man in his arms. “Eskel, Vesemir, please!”

“Fuck, is that Geralt!?” Eskel came whipping around one corner at a sprint. Lambert and Vesemir were close behind, Lambert with a sword drawn and a scowl on his face. He lowered it when he saw that Geralt wasn't being pursued.

“Please, Ves, Eskel, please, help him to survive because I can’t- I can’t-” the White Wolf, for all his bravado and stoicism, was panting furiously. His kinsmen knew that he'd be crying if he had the capability to do so and crowded closer to help. Geralt immediately handed a warm, damp bundle to his Eskel with incredible gentleness and care. He looked up at the slightly taller Witcher and begged with all the strength he had left: “Please. I can't let him die.”

---

Jaskier woke up with a sharp gasp. His side radiated a dull, persistent kind of agony and he felt sick to his stomach. With a low groan he turned to retch off the side of the bed, into a conveniently placed bucket. He shouted when the movement made his wound ache all the more. “Fuck!”

The bard heard a heavy thud from his left followed by some clattering and a quietly whispered, “Shit.”

“G’ralt?”

“Jaskier!” the Witcher appeared at his side in a flash. Geralt leaned over him with a damp cloth in hand and wiped at the corners of his mouth. “You’re alive! Melitele be thanked. Do you need to be sick again? Would you like some water?”

“You’re o-oddly verbose,” Jaskier managed to half-smile.

“Was worried.”

“There’s my monosyllabic Witcher,” the bard grinned through his blinding pain. “It hurts, Geralt. Rather terribly.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t- We’re all Witchers so it’s not…” Geralt sighed and turned away to rinse the cloth in a bowl of cool water that had been resting on the sill. “We didn’t know which kind of herbs were safe for humans and which weren’t.”

“We?”

“How’s the patient?”

Jaskier's snapped to the doorway and his body automatically jerked in surprise. He whimpered at the reaction it elicited from his injury, his ribs blooming with a sharp sting. “Shit!”

“Fuck!” the red-headed man in the door replied, slamming his hands over his face. “I’m so sorry. Shit in the fucking nine hells.”

“Uh…”

“Jaskier, this is my brother Lambert. Lambert… This is Jaskier.”

“Ah yes,” the shorter Witcher smirked. “I’ve heard so much about you, Master Jaskier.”

“That I’m a royal pain in the ass?”

“Quite the opposite, really. In fact, when the two of you arrived, Geralt was nearly-”

Lambert’s statement was interrupted by a small wooden bowl to the side of the head, chucked across the room by a grim-faced Geralt.

“Nevermind. Anyway, glad to see you’re awake. I’ll let the others know that he's no longer going hand-to-hand with Death.”

“Others?” Jaskier glanced between Geralt and Lambert with wide, confused eyes. “Am I… Am I in Kaer Morhen!?”

“Aye,” Lambert winked. “And you slept through the first two days of snowfall, so I’m afraid to inform you that you’re stuck at Kaer Morhen for the rest of this season. I’ll let you and Geralt hash the rest of the details out in private. Tootles, Buttercup.”

And just as suddenly as Lambert had appeared, he was gone.

The bard turned to make eye contact with the White Wolf and blinked owlishly. “Wh-What did he mean about being here all winter?”

“I’m afraid he wasn’t lying,” Geralt returned to the stool beside Jaskier’s bed and sat down slowly, as if waiting for Jaskier to order him out of the room entirely. “Your injury was heavily infected and you were close to death when I found you in that cave at the base of the mountains. I ran the Killer in two days instead of one and brought you to Eskel and Vesemir for healing; they were the closest people I could think of who knew what to do to save you. I’m so sorry for trapping you here for the season when you should be teaching and composing in Oxenfurt. If you’d like, I can try to contact Yen or Triss and have them portal you back to the University before Yule.”

“Nobody would want to inconvenience a sorceress on their behalf,” Jaskier answered. "Myself included."

“So you don’t mind staying?”

Jaskier glanced up through his lashes, more self-conscious than Geralt had ever seen him before. “Were you really worried about me dying? Did you really carry me up the path all by yourself? In two days?”

“...Yes.”

“Why?”

Geralt felt his heart shatter to pieces in his chest. All these years spent thinking that if he was too obvious about his feelings he’d hurt Jaskier... and Jaskier had simply been waiting for any confirmation of his affections, friendly or otherwise.

"Because I..." the Witcher stood again and started to pace. "Because, Julek, I love you. I can't bear the thought of being parted from you. It's even worse because I know, I know that you're human and that I'm going to lose you too soon no matter what happens. Illness, age, injury... No matter how many years we have together they will never be enough."

Jaskier sniffled and Geralt turned on his heel to face the bard, hands already outstretched to offer comfort. "You enormous fucking idiot."

"Huh?"

"I have loved you since the moment I saw you sitting in the corner, brooding away," Jaskier grinned. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and dripped onto the blanket. "Why didn't you tell me? You couldn't even look me in the eyes and call me your friend..."

"Witchers aren't very good at romance, if you haven't noticed," Geralt laughed humorlessly. "I knew I was going to hurt you eventually. It was only a matter of time."

"Well now we have all winter to figure things out," Jaskier offered, sliding his hand across the mattress to twine his fingers with Geralt's. The Witcher's skin was cool against his own and it felt glorious.

"Hmm."

"No! No going silent on me now, you fucker!"

"Get some rest," Geralt smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jaskier's sweaty fringe. "I will be here when you wake."

"And tomorrow, too?"

Geralt smiled oh-so-softly and kissed him again, on the lips.

"And tomorrow, too."

[fanatichistory]

Scene Prompt 1

Scene: Grouchy, reluctant caretaker becomes soft when they realize what happened to whumpee

The time period is set in medieval times since that’s most of my knowledge ^.^’ Either way...enjoy!! It is rather long though, fair warning >:) I should have broken this up into parts lol

Caretaker walked around their medical tent, readying it for the incoming patient they were told was being brought in. They were also told that said patient was a traitor to the people, giving up the location of 3 military camps and a popular trade route the merchants liked to use in the winter to stay safe from bandits and out of the crossfire between armies on the border. 

Caretaker pinched the bridge of his nose to try and calm his emotions.

Wasted resources never sat well with him. They were too hard to come by in times of war. Not only that he didn't know the condition the traitor would be in until they got here.

And Caretaker was elected to treat them of their injuries and keep them from dying long enough to stand trial.

A crime to the people as deep as theirs was naturally going to be public.

And no doubt their execution will be, too, because who was Caretaker kidding? Of course, they were going to be put to death.

All traitors were, Caretaker viewed this day as a waste of resources. After all, the patient was a dead man anyway. 

At that moment the door to the medical tent opened and there was scuffling as two soldiers brought in an injured man on a gurney, setting him down on the table Caretaker was going to use to treat him.

The soldiers left without a word, heads held low, as they hastily made their exit while Caretaker walked over to the table with his tray of ointments and antidotes. The glass bottles clinked together as he walked over and set the tray of medicine bottles down on the side table.

The man stirred and groaned as the clinking roused him.

"So, I am to treat you before they decide what they do with you." Caretaker announced, noting the traitor's eyes flash open wide as sudden awareness took hold of his consciousness. 

"N-No! P-pl-please don't...please..." The traitor tried to move, wincing from pain when Caretaker pushed the man back down onto the table.

"Don't make me get the restraints." The traitor stilled instantly. 

"Please no...I'll b-be good....I-I-"

"Silence traitor." Caretaker growled as he brought out his knife, he didn't use it often for cutting away rotten flesh but it helped to remove the clothing when most of the soldiers and civilians caught in the crossfire had it dried on from sweat and blood, or just plain bad wet weather. 

At the sight of the knife the traitor flinched away and closed their eyes, lips trembling in obvious fear as Caretaker worked to remove the tattered and bloodied shirt from their torso.

Cutting around the pieces of fabric that dried themselves to wounds, Caretaker took in the injuries of the man on the table in front of him.

The torso was covered in cuts. The edges look similar to him to be that of one of the swords the higher ranking soldiers use, with the smooth and sharp steel edges.

The cuts were seemingly placed at random throughout his torso with some shallow bleeders and others deep, looking as if the tip of the sword was plunged in. Caretaker wasn't sure how far in at first glance.

Caretaker raised their brow as the traitor kept mumbling for mercies and was curious if the man knew it did him no good.

Shaking their head, Caretaker continued to work as they set the knife back down and began to clean the cuts. The man whimpered and thrashed away from him, and Caretaker forcibly used his free arm to pin the man down as he washed the cuts and wiped away the blood.

"If you don't stop fighting me I will call for the soldiers to hold you still." Caretaker hissed as the man continued to cry out and resist him.

"Soldier!" Caretaker called out when the man stilled, his bruised face crying and begging.

"I-I'm sorry, sorry...it h-hurts, I didn't m-m-mean-"

"Yes Caretaker?"

Caretaker turned to the soldier poking his head in and waved him over. The soldier was hesitant but made his way and stood across him at the table.

"I need you to hold them still. I can't clean and dress the wounds properly when they move."

The soldier nodded and held the man on the table down as Caretaker went back to work. The traitor continued to ramble apologies and pleas for mercy, crying out whenever Caretaker was too rough with the wound cleaning.

"S-sir, if I may..." The soldier spoke hesitantly, watching the traitor's face pinched with pain closely as he waited for Caretaker's permission to speak.

"You may."

"Me and the other men...we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. He took the brunt of it, kept the focus on him. Said we were going to get home to our families if he had a say."

Caretaker huffed and began stitching the deep puncture wound the traitor had in his chest just below the ribs. "Apparently the traitor had a lot to say." 

"Y-yes sir... but I would have squealed like a stuck pig if it was me they chose... They wanted to know where the cities were. Civilians, sir. He gave them military camps instead. They wanted to know where the King's road is, and when he takes a holiday, he gave them merchants instead of the crown."

The soldier looked up at Caretaker as he explained their situation. "They needed something, and they would have kept torturing and killing us until they got it, this way, he bought us time. Our commander is headed to the King now to explain. You don't know what they did to us." 

"I-I'm sorry..." The man's voice was raspy and cracking from the effort to talk and Caretaker to a moment to reassess. 

"He needs water to drink." Caretaker told the soldier and when he remained where he was he added an order. "Go get it." 

Once they were the only two in the tent again, Caretaker began binding the wounds now that they were finally clean. He went a little gentler this time, though.

If what the soldier said was true, then the traitor on his table might not be much of a traitor. They still caused a lot of death and destruction, which was true, but the one thing drilled into the soldiers was to protect the crown and it's people at all costs.

"Sounds like you were given an impossible choice." Caretaker said quietly as he worked. "I may have judged to soon and to harshly."

"I still...caused m-murder of innocents.." 

"It was them or the crown, and the crown comes first always." Caretaker replied automatically.

"Should it?" It was the strongest the man had spoken since arriving to his medical tent, though he was still worse for wear as Caretaker began cleaning and dressing the cuts to his limbs in the same manner, though much gentler. 

"The cr-crown would demand I sacrifice my fellow so-soldiers..." The main paused to cough as he cleared his throat. "They will still put me to death...as a traitor..."

"I don't understand you soldiers. I was told you are a traitor but after learning why I am more confused. "Caretaker propped up the man's head and held a cup he had mixed a few tonics and elixir's into for him to drink. "This will help with the pain and to clean the body inside." He informed him as he hesitated.  

After the man drank the medicine down Caretaker went back to binding the wounds on his arms and legs.

The man was cut up from head to toe, and Caretaker wondered how the man was still conscious. He's seen plenty of soldiers torn up, cut up, blown up, you name it, and most didn't survive. They bled out before anything could be done.

"They would have wanted me to sacrifice the soldiers who were with me instead of saving them and giving intelligence on the military camps and trade routes."

"I'm glad to hear you're voice is getting stronger already, lay back and try to relax." Caretaker ordered as he pushed the man to lay back down when he tried to move. 

"I thought you were...ngh, going to be gentle now?" The man chuckled but winced when Caretaker wrapped a particularly tender wound. 

"This is me being gentle." 

"You didn't want to treat me earlier." The man said after a few heartbeats of silence as he finished with the wound care and began to clean up the table.

"I thought you were a traitor. I believe I am wrong."

"You need evidence to believe I am good but none to believe I am bad?"

Caretaker looked up and met the man's desperate gaze. "No. I simply believe I am wrong."

"What is your name? And don't say healer, I figured out you're title for myself." Caretaker shared a chuckle.

"Caretaker. And yours?"

"Whumpee."

"Nice to make your acquaintance Whumpee. I'm sorry I judged you."

"Don't be. You didn't-"

"I have the water sir." The soldier that had left on the errand returned with a waterskin and handed it to him unknowingly cutting off Whumpee.

"Thank you, you may go now. Whumpee needs his rest." The soldier looked between them with a hint of surprise before giving Caretaker a quick bow and a yes sir as they left the tent again.

[spike-and-faye]

Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1.     Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2.     What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3.     The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

 Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

 PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in  movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

[lunaserenade]

Entangled

Gif by @dornish-queen

Masterlist

Part Eleven of the Meet Me at Sunrise Series

Previous Chapter: Haunted

Next Chapter: Exposed

Author’s Note: Thank you to @icanbeyourjedi , @reddead-trash and @sugarontherims for tolerating me while I overthought everything I wrote for this chapter.

Beta reading dream team: @violentcosmicsymphony and @briefgalaxycat <3

Paring: Marcus Pike x FBI Agent!Reader

Words: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, violence, mentions of blood.

Summary: The team rallies together after a traumatic incident.

“I have an officer down, I need paramedics immediately.” Your voice shook as you rattled off your address to the 911 operator. Snatching a blanket from the couch you reapplied pressure to Marcus' wound, the pain bringing him back to consciousness with a yelp. You gave him a weak smile “Marcus I need you to stay awake. Paramedics are on the way. I-... I'm sorry, I should have disarmed him, I thought I had and I-”

“Baby, I'm okay.” Marcus let out a whine as he tried to sit up and gingerly reached to touch the back of his head, a faint smear of blood from when Pearce slammed him onto the floor. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Says the man bleeding in our living room.” You let out a slightly hysteric laugh at his lack of concern to his own wellbeing. The seven minutes it took for the paramedics to arrive were easily the longest minutes of your life, and you clung to Marcus' hand as they went to work. Once he was loaded on the stretcher, and you had waved off the medics who were trying to tend to your cut cheek, you followed them downstairs and into the ambulance.

“See honey? I'm going to be fine.” Marcus gave you a weak smile. “It was only a light stabbing.”

“... I'm going to let that slide on account of the blood loss.” You gave his hand a squeeze and pressed your lips to his knuckles, the sound of the ambulance siren ringing in your ears as it raced toward the hospital.

-------

Standing in the ER waiting room you knew you must look like something out of a horror film: hair wild, a shallow cut across your cheekbone, and your hands still covered in Marcus' blood. You could feel yourself trembling as you awaited Regina and Maddox's arrival, they had been your first call after Marcus' father. You had promised to keep him updated but it did look like Marcus would be fine as he had insisted the entire ride to the hospital. You heard your name, turning to see Regina, her wife Amber, and Maddox at the Emergency Room entrance. Regina was at your side in an instant, it wasn't until she wrapped her arms around you that the true gravity of the evening hit you, your chest heaving with sobs. You barely registered Amber attempting to clean the blood off your hands with wet wipes from her purse as Regina whispered soft reassurances into your hair.

“Mads, go see about getting us back there to see Pike. Flash your badge if you have to.” Regina said to the younger agent as she surveyed your face, the cut across your cheek had finally stopped bleeding. “Hon, what happened?”

“Ioan Pearce. He was waiting in our apartment when we got home. He must have been following us this week... I should've known... This is my fault, I brought Marcus undercover with me. If it wasn't fo-” You felt yourself spiraling quickly.

“No. You need to stop. This is Laurent and Pearce's fault, no one else's. Tonight, we make sure Marcus is alright. Tomorrow we tie up these loose ends and get Pearce in cuffs.” Regina reassured you.

“Cuffs... body bag, same difference.” You muttered.

“And that's why you probably shouldn't be joining us.” Regina laughed as a nurse came out calling for the group of you, you could finally see Marcus.

“I'd love to see you try and stop me.” You said with a smile, although your words were deadly serious.

-----

Marcus was sitting up on the edge of the bed in the ER, freshly stitched up, and he looked instantly relieved when his eyes met yours. You immediately rushed into his arms, silent tears streaming down your cheeks as you saw the bandage on his abdomen and buried your face in his shoulder.

“-‘s my fault. It’s my fault you’re hurt. I can’t live without you.” You whispered against his neck and felt him shake his head.

“Sweetheart, I’m alright. They’re even going to discharge me soon.” Marcus looked up, noticing the rest of the crew for the first time and gave them a smile. “Ten stitches, nothing vital hit, and a bump on the head. All I really need is a change of clothes and sleep.”

Needing to see for yourself you peaked at his torso, your fingers ghosting over the dressing covering his stitches. Marcus pressed a reassuring kiss to your forehead, his hands drifting to your waist.

“We’re glad you’re alright, boss. We’ll catch this psychopath.” Maddox said from beside Amber and Regina, handing Marcus a fresh shirt to change into.

“I reached out to the office, let them know what happened. They posted officers outside your apartment, I told them they’d have to wait until tomorrow for a full statement. Tonight, the two of you need to rest.” Regina said, squeezing her wife’s hand, relieved to see Marcus relatively unharmed.

“Gina, thank you. For everything.” Marcus said sincerely.

“We’re family, we always take care of our own.” She said with a fond smile.

-----

The search for Ioan Pearce was on, and undeterred by push back from the higher ups you and Marcus insisted on being involved. Pouring over CCTV footage and any new leads on Pearce’s whereabouts. It'd been a week since the break in and though he wasn't fully healed yet Marcus was relentless in his pursuit, but they were getting close. Maddox and Regina had been staking out a location that was a possible safe house for Pearce and his associates, they were sure he would surface any day now. You were camped out on Marcus' office couch with Regina, Maddox was dozing off at his desk but none of you had the heart to wake him. The effort he was putting in tailing Pearce's associates was admirable, and he seemed to have a natural knack for going unnoticed while trailing a suspect.

“I think he'll finally give in and end up at that safe house any time now. He's assuming we've lost any trace of him and he's starting to get cocky. He'll let his guard down and that's when we'll strike. I've got people watching the safe house twenty-four hours a day now, so I think we should all be prepared to move as soon as he's spotted.” Marcus said from his desk, giving a small stretch and wincing lightly as it tugged at his stitches.

“I agree, I think Pearce is getting impatient. That’ll be his downfall.” Regina said, buried in Ioan Pearce’s file trying to see if there was anything she missed that could finally end this.

“I'm just ready to put this bastard behind bars like Laurent.” You said with a small huff as a half-asleep Maddox poked his head into the office.

“My CI just called. Pearce should be going to the safe house in the morning.” Maddox said as he rubbed at his eyes.

“Fantastic! Then I want everyone to head home and get some rest. We take this guy in, come morning.” Marcus said with a smile.

As everyone packed up and headed out for the night Marcus wrapped his arm around your waist. You stood on your tip toes to press a few soft kisses to his jaw. Finally, this nightmare was almost over.

—-

The early morning sun was beginning to creep across the sky as you prepared for the raid on Ioan Pearce’s safe house. Considering how deeply personal this mission had gotten for you and Marcus you both agreed to take a back seat and cover the back door. Regina, Maddox, and a small team would breach the front door to apprehend Pearce; You and Marcus would cover the back door in case he tried to make a break for it.

“I won’t lie, I’m a little disappointed I won’t get to lay hands on this creep.” You gave Marcus a small smile as you adjusted your earpiece.

“As long as we finally get this guy in cuffs, I'm happy.” Marcus said as he adjusted the Velcro straps of your bulletproof vest.

“Breaching door in 10 – 9 – 8” Regina counted down over the earpiece as she prepared to break into the front of the house. You planted your feet and held your gun loosely in your hand, Marcus at your side as you covered the rear entrance. The shouts and sound of the front door breaking echoed loudly in the otherwise silent neighborhood. You could hear scuffles coming from inside the house when suddenly Maddox's voice came through your earpiece.

“He's heading for the back! He's running!” Maddox shouted.

Ioan Pearce burst through the back door and putting your full body weight behind your shoulder you slammed into him, knocking him off balance and to the ground roughly. In an instant Marcus had him flipped onto his front, handcuffing him while reading him his rights. Marcus looked up at you and smiled. It was done, this insane case was conclusively solved and everyone involved in custody. Maybe now the two of you could finally relax.

------

That evening after an early celebratory dinner and drinks with the rest of the team you walked hand in hand with Marcus down the path alongside the Reflecting Pool on the National Mall. The stress of the last few months with this case hanging over both your heads was settled and maybe the two of you could relax, if only for a little while. You would have never thought you would be where you were today when Marcus had finally asked you out nine months ago, in this very spot no less. He was particularly contemplative tonight, but it was a comfortable kind of silence. Just happy to be in each other's company as the pair of you strolled quietly, the purples and pinks of the sunset streaked across the sky behind the Washington Monument as you reached the end of the Reflecting Pool. Tugging Marcus close, you snaked your arms around him and tucked your head against his chest. Marcus smiled down at you and pressed his lips to your hair, but his nerves were starting to get the better of him.

“Mmm I can't wait to get home. We can curl up on the couch with a movie.” You pulled back to look up at him and smile. “Maybe have a glass of wine and an early night.” Giving him a suggestive eyebrow wiggle you captured his lips in a lingering kiss.

“That sounds like a perfect night in.” Marcus said and paused for a second. “Before we head home, there is something I need to ask you.”

“Of course honey, anything.” You replied with an adoring smile.

“I know we haven't been together for a long time, but I do know that my life is better with you in it. I love you and I can't see a future without you next to me.” Marcus took a deep breath, reached into his pocket, and dropped to one knee. “Sweetheart, mi corazón, will you marry me?” He gently took your left hand and held out a simple but beautiful cushion cut engagement ring with a thin platinum band. Your heart was pounding, eyes welling up as you grinned down at Marcus. It was never a question; your heart truly was his and had been from the moment the pair of you had sat here that early morning watching the sunrise.

“Oh Marcus, yes! I can't think of anything I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” Your hand trembled slightly from excitement as he slid the ring onto your finger. Marcus stood up quickly and kissed you deeply, holding you tight to his chest.

“I love you. I love you so much.” He said reverently between kisses, you could feel his smile against your lips. You had both been through so much recently and now? Now a new and amazing chapter of your lives was about to begin, and you couldn't wait to see where it would take you.

tagged: @diva-1992, @yespolkadotkitty, @sarahjkl82-blog, @seasonschange-butpeopledont, @mrsparknuts, @disgruntledspacedad, @mrschiltoncat, @giselatropicana, @sugarontherims, @cynic-spirit, @supernaturalgirl, @farfromjustordinary , @keeper0fthestars​

Let me know if you'd like to be added to my tags.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Undercover (A Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister! Imagine)

This is super long so hang in there! It’s also my first imagine I’ve posted on Tumblr, so feedback would be amazing! (Also posted on my wattpad)

Mini synopsis:  In which something horrible happens to Y/N's best friend, Emma, so Y/N goes undercover to get her justice. She's under and everything's fine...until it's not fine at all.

Huge trigger warning for sexual assault. Please do not read if this makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable! Also, please remember there are people out there to help you if you or someone you love has gone through this. Just google the sexual assault hotline and the number for your country should pop up.

Can you pick up chicken wings? No bluejays game on tonight, tho.

Below that text, your best friend, Emma, had sent you her location, which was turned on to send location indefinitely.

Back when you were both only freshmen in high school, you had come up with code words in case you needed help. This was mostly for unwanted attention from boys. Chicken wing(s) meant that you needed help ASAP. Bluejay(s) was code for Jay or cops.

"Fuck," you muttered as you tried to quickly piece together a plan. You couldn't call Jay or any cop for that matter. But, if she had sent you her location, that meant that she was definitely in trouble. You looked down at the location and could see that the red pin was moving further and further into the heart of the sketchiest part of the south side of Chicago.

Then it occurred to you: the safe in Jay's room under his bed where he told you that he kept a spare gun in case of emergencies. You ran into his room and dove under his bed, quickly pulling out the safe. You groaned as you realized he had forgotten to tell you the pin number to open it.

"Maybe Mom's birthday?" you thought aloud. You punched in the six numbers, causing a green light to turn on, and you yanked the small door of the safe open. "Dumbass," you muttered, thinking about how easy it would be for anyone in your family or anyone who was close to you, Jay, or Will to get their hands on the gun or other things like Jay's backup badge that were hidden there.

You grabbed the gun and your car keys and sprinted out of the house. "Hang on Emma," you said as you jumped in your car and pulled out your phone to see her location. The pin had been at the same location for two minutes now. Your stomach dropped, knowing this couldn't be good.

***

Jay dropped his keys in the ceramic dish on the table and headed into his room to change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He practically stopped breathing when he saw that the safe had been pulled out from under his bed and was open. He threw himself to the floor and looked in it. "Fuck," he muttered as he saw that the gun was gone.

He sprinted to the front of the house, only to see that your car was gone. "Ruz, I need you to ping Y/N's phone. Now," Jay said into his phone as he ran out of the house and to his truck.

Jay heard the clacking of keys on the other end of the line. "Okay, I sent you her location. What's wrong?"

Jay put his truck in drive and turned on the lights and sirens. "I think she's in trouble. She took my spare gun."

"Okay, Hailey's still here finishing up paperwork. We'll come for backup." Then the line went dead and Jay drove the fastest he ever had in his life.

***

"Are we announcing?" Hailey asked as she finished putting on her vest.

"No," Jay answered as the three began to walk closer and closer to an abandoned warehouse.

Jay tried the knob and to his surprise and everyone else's, it was unlocked. They heard crying as they walked inside and Jay pointed out directions.

Adam walked toward the sound of the crying, while Hailey and Jay worked on clearing areas behind huge shelves.

"Someone's here," Emma whispered to you as you heard a door open. You had given her your coat to wrap around her body. You knew you had to get her to a doctor, but she had told you no cops, which meant no Jay and you had no idea how to get her out safely. You had thought about calling Will, but when you tried to call him, the call only rang once and then stopped. You only had one bar, so the call didn't go through.

With shaking hands, you picked up the gun and pointed it directly at the door. "Put the gun down!" Adam yelled as he looked through the small crack in the door. From his vantage point, all he saw was a gun. He couldn't see that you were the one holding it. "Jay, I need backup over here," he whispered into his radio.

"Copy," he answered and walked down the stairs, gun drawn. "Ready?" Jay asked. Adam nodded and Jay proceeded to kick in the door.

"CPD hands where we can see 'em!" Adam yelled the moment Jay kicked the door. But then he saw who was there and he turned to Jay.

"Y/N," Jay started slowly and calmly, "put the gun down."

Slowly, you lowered the gun and placed it on the floor. Before Jay or Adam even had a chance to get a word in, Emma yelled out, "I said no cops!"

"Emma, I promise you that I didn't call them. Why would I have a gun if I called them, huh?"

That's when Adam and Jay turned to Emma, who was clearly in need of medical attention. Jay nodded to Adam. "This is 50-21 Ida," Adam spoke into his radio, "We have a girl here in need of medical attention. I need you to roll an ambo to my current location. Roll crime scene techs, too. Be advised there are three plain clothes officers on scene."

"Copy that, 50-21 Ida."

"Hey, Emma." Adam slowly moved towards Emma. "I'm Adam. I work with Y/N's brother, Jay. Can you stand up for me?"

She looked down at her body, the coat you had let her borrow barely covering her and you knew that when she stood up, it wouldn't cover all her most vulnerable place. Jay must've got the message too. "Hailey," he said into his radio, "Offender's in the wind. We've got a victim down here. If you see anything to cover her up, bring it here."

"Copy." There was a pause as shuffling could be heard on the radio. "I found a blanket. Coming down now." You heard footsteps on the ground and Adam and Jay immediately raised their guns. "Upton!" Hailey yelled as she opened the door.

The boys lowered their guns and put them back in their holsters. You heard sirens in the distance. "Hi, honey," Hailey said as she walked over to Emma. "I'm Hailey. What's your name?"

"Emma."

"Okay, Emma. We're gonna get you to a hospital. Can you wrap this around you so you can stand up?"

She nodded and stood up and took the blanket.

"Do you wanna go with her?" Jay whispered to you.

"No." You didn't want to see your best friend in a hospital bed knowing that you could have prevented this from happening if you only called Jay. "I'll call her mom, though."

"I'll do that," Hailey offered and Jay forwarded Emma's mom's number to Hailey. Hailey and Emma walked away, leaving you, Adam, and Jay.

"You mind waiting until Voight gets here?" Jay asked.

"Crime scene techs are here so I won't be alone if what you're worried about is me not having backup," Adam answered, humor in his voice.

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna take Y/N to the district to get her statement."

He dropped the magazine out of the gun and laughed. "What's so funny?" you asked.

"It's a good thing you didn't have to shoot anyone because the mag's empty."

"The what's empty?"

"The magazine. It's where the bullets go."

"Oh."

"Jeez, Jay. When you said you kept your work away from Y/N you really weren't kidding."

"Shut up," Jay joked as you followed him out of the warehouse and into his truck. He turned the heat as high as it could go, seeing as you were without a coat in the middle of a Chicago winter.

"Now, I'm not mad, I just want to know what happened," he said as he started to drive.

"How'd you find me?" you asked, knowing that you hadn't broken your promise of not calling the cops.

"I went home and saw the safe was open and the gun was gone, so I had Adam track your phone."

"Oh."

"Can you please tell me what happened?"

"You promise you won't be mad?"

"Unless you were doing something illegal, then I won't be mad. I'm assuming you had a good reason for taking my gun?"

"Emma texted me our code word for if a guy was creeping on her and she said no cops. She also sent me her location. So, I grabbed the gun and I came here."

You took a deep breath as you started to cry. "We can finish this at the district, okay?" Jay suggested.

"Yeah," you agreed.

***

You were sitting on the couch next to Jay, slowly sipping your water as he flipped open his notepad. "Take as much time as you need."

"You're talking to me like a victim, not a witness," you quipped.

"How would you know that?"

"I watch enough crime shows in my free time to know that's how cops talk to the vic."

"Okay, yeah, but you're my baby sister. Do you know how hard it was for me to walk into that room and see you holding a gun? Can you please tell me what happened?"

"Like I said, Emma sent me her location, so I went to the warehouse. When I found her, she was laying on the floor, naked, and I ran over to her. H-He raped her, Jay. I-It's all my f-fault," you stuttered, beginning to cry.

"It is not your fault. Not in a million years is this your fault."

"If I would've called you, this wouldn't have happened!"

Jay wondered why you didn't call him, and he wasn't going to ask. But, if this went to trial and you became a witness, you knew the defense would ask you. So, he knew he had to ask you, too. "Why didn't you call me?"

"She told me that she had to go to the bathroom. The guy let her, but didn't know that she had her phone on her. He said if she tried to run or call the police that he'd shoot her. She said that while he was, while he was you know, doing things to her, that he held a gun to her head. He said that if she screamed, he'd kill her."

Jay ran a hand through his hair as you continued. "I tried to call Will, I really did, but I didn't have good enough reception in the warehouse."

"We got a hit on the offender!" Kim yelled as she rounded the corner into the breakroom.

Jay stood up, but not without looking at you. "Stay here. I don't want you anywhere near this," he said as he walked out and shut the door.

"What do we got?" Jay asked, seeing all of Intelligence gathered in the bullpen.

"We think the guy is James Mason," Voight started. "Did a year in Stateville for rape. Released for good behavior three months ago."

"Good behavior my ass," Adam chirped.

"How do you know it's this guy, Sarge?" Kevin asked.

"He just so happened to walk into a neighboring bar where I know a guy. Guy said he didn't think the two were together, but then they went off somewhere, they came back, he ordered her a drink and she seemed to be comfortable around him."

"He check her ID?" Jay asked.

"I assume so," Voight answered. "Why?"

"Emma's not 21 yet, so she had to have had a fake or he used his ID to buy both drinks." Then a thought occurred to him. "You got the surveillance footage from the bar?"

"Yeah, right over here," Kim answered.

Jay looked at the footage. "Pause it." He watched as Emma walked away from the perp and rounded the corner, following a restroom sign. "That had to be the time Emma texted Y/N her location because she told her that he let her go to the bathroom and he told her that if she tried to get help, he'd shoot her because he had a gun."

"Okay, see if Mason's got a registered firearm," Voight said. "Better yet, pull up his address. Atwater, Burgess, and Ruzek get a search warrant and find it."

"Copy that, Sarge," Kevin said, grabbing his jacket.

Hailey ran up the stairs as Kevin, Kim, and Adam ran down. "Any update on the victim?" Voight asked.

"She's been through trauma, that's for sure," Hailey answered. "Lacerations on her wrists and ankles, bruising on her stomach and thighs, and vaginal tearing."

"Like she was tied up." Jay pieced it together.

"Halstead, your sister ever mention anything about having to untie her?"

"No, Sarge."

"Maybe he undid the ties himself," Hailey suggested.

"Why would he do that? Then she could just call the cops and run away." Voight asked.

"He gets off on it," Hailey answered. "He unties his victims so that they can leave, but they're too traumatized to leave. So, he knows even if he's not there, he's still controlling them."

"Sick son of a bitch," Jay said.

"Voight," he answered as he picked up his phone. "Find anything at the house?" There was a pause as someone on the other end talked. "That's good, we can use that but, we'll just have to find another way to nail him." Then he ended the call.

"What's up, Sarge?" Hailey asked.

"They didn't find anything at Mason's house, but his car was gone. They went through his financials and found out his car just got a new license plate today, which is why it wasn't updated in the database yet. But, they found the paperwork for that new license plate, so we can use that. Burgess also said that they found his calendar with bar names on each day."

"So, he goes to a bar every night and we just need to get him in the act?" Hailey suggested.

"I'll call up a rookie," Voight said as he started to walk towards his office.

"I'll do it!" you volunteered.

"Y/N! I thought I told you to stay in there!" Jay admonished.

"It's not like the walls are soundproof."

"She's got a point, Jay," Hailey agreed with you.

"You're not going in there regardless and that's final!"

"Jay, she's my best friend. I gotta help get this guy. And, if you can't get him on the rape, you can at least get him on distributing alcohol to a minor," you suggested.

Jay looked over at Hank. "Sarge, you can't be considering this!"

"She's got a good point, Jay."

"There's no way Will will agree to this, either."

"Let me call him," you suggested and walked away to talk to your other older brother.

"Hailey, there's no way she's going in there," Jay said to Hailey when they were both seated in the breakroom.

"Jay, you know Hank will put me or Burgess in as ghost in the bar so that things don't get that far. And she'll have a safe word." She paused and reached for his hand. "If it were your best friend, you'd do the same thing she's doing and you know it."

"Will said it's okay," you said as you walked into the breakroom.

"He what?" Jay jumped off the couch.

"He said it's okay on one condition: If he's in the car with you so that if I need medical attention, he can do it without having to wait on the paramedics."

"Then it's a go," Voight said as he heard that.

"It's not a go!" Jay yelled. "Sarge, she's a civilian! You can't be serious about this!"

"Jay, she's no different from a CI. We'll have Upton be her ghost and we'll all be right outside. The minute she says the safe word we'll nail his ass."

***

"Sarge, I'm not okay with this," Jay said as he walked into Voight's office, leaving the door open.

"Jay, we are not having this discussion again! She's okay with it and I'm okay with it. I'm your boss, so you listen to me."

"Do you see what she's wearing? She's asking for it!"

The bullpen went silent the second the words came out of his mouth. "A word," Hailey hissed, roughly grabbing Jay's arm and leading him into the breakroom. This time, he closed the door.

"You're lucky Y/N didn't hear you, Jay! You're a cop, you know it's never the victim's fault!"

Jay raked a hand through his hair. "I know. I messed up," he sighed. "I just, I can't let anything happen to her. She's my baby sister, Hails. I already buried both of my parents. I can't bury her, too."

"Will it make you feel better if you went in and stayed in the bar with me? I can talk to Voight," Hailey suggested.

"Actually yeah, that would make me feel a hell of a lot better."

***

"Hailey, Jay's not gonna like this but I need you to make sure he doesn't come after me until there are obvious signs of a struggle," you said. "Let him hit me a bit; I can handle it. Will's on scene and will fix me up if anything happens. But I have to get justice for Emma because right now, she can barely sleep."

She squeezed your shoulder. "Copy that."

"Vests good?" Voight asked as he entered. Everyone nodded. "Y/N, there's still time to put one on if you want it."

"He'll know something's up if he feels it. I gotta do without it."

"Alright roll--" Voight couldn't finish his sentence because Jay cut him off.

"Just give me five minutes with Y/N, Sarge. Five minutes, that's all."

"Okay, everyone load up." Voight turned to Jay. "Five minutes Halstead, and that's it."

When everyone was gone, Jay turned to you and bent down so that he was eye level with you. "You can still back out now. No one will blame you."

"I can't. I need to do this for Emma and for all the other girls this has probably happened to."

Your brother nodded and reached into his pocket. "Just don't get this mixed up with your regular lipstick, okay?" You started to ask why when he took the cap off to reveal a knife.

"Jay, Voight said no weapons."

"You didn't think I was just going to let you go in unarmed, did you? And relax, Platt gave it to me. So, if Voight figures it out, she's got my back."

"So where's the best place to, you know..." you trailed off, hoping that you wouldn't have to stab Mason, but wanting to know the best place to do it if worst comes to worst.

"I'd say thigh or his, his uh..."

"Penis," you finished.

"I was gonna say man parts, but penis works, too."

You took the lipstick from him and stuffed it in your dress. "Is it noticeable?"

"Never in a million years did I think I'd have to inspect my sister's boobs for a weapon. But, no, it's not noticeable."

"Halsteads!" Voight boomed. "We gotta go now!"

"Okay!" Jay turned back to you. "Safe word?"

"Vodka Cranberry." You and the team decided on that since it would be easy to weasel into a conversation.

"Hey, I love you." He hugged you and you swore you could hear his heart beating despite his vest. You assumed this was the most nervous he'd ever been about an undercover operation.

"I love you, too."

***

"Suspect approaching. You guys copy inside?" you heard Kevin's voice through the wire hidden in your ear.

"Yeah," you answered and you heard Hailey and Jay agree.

Hailey walked up to you, as she was posing as your friend and Jay was posing as the guy that she would flirt with so that Mason could get you alone, even though the thought of that made you sick.

"And remember, if he gets you alcohol, don't drink it," Hailey warned. "This entire investigation could go out the window."

"Not to mention she'd be grounded," you heard Jay come in through your hidden earpiece.

"Jay, if you make comments like this through your wire the entire night, we're gonna have a problem."

"Copy."

You and Hailey pretended to be talking about some people from your neighborhood when you heard Jay talking to you. "I've got eyes on him. He's headed your way."

Hailey shot a glance at Jay, and then reached for your top, pulling it down a bit more to reveal more of your boobs. "Hailey--" Jay started into his wire, but Hailey shot him a glare to make him shut up.

"What are you two ladies doing here all alone?" James Mason asked, coming up and sitting beside you.

"Oh, you know, just chatting," Hailey said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Mind if I join the conversation?" he asked, waving a bartender over.

"Actually, I've got my eye on someone over there," Hailey said as she stood up. "You're just her type," she whispered in his ear as she made her way over to Jay.

"Can I get you a beer? A shot maybe?" Mason asked you.

"No, but I'll take a pop if the offer's still on the table."

"Sure." He ordered a pop for you and a beer for himself. "So, what's your name?" he asked.

"Layla," you answered. "Yours?"

"James."

"Nice to meet you James. You from around here?"

"Chicago born and raised. You?"

"Just here visiting family," you answered.

You had finished your pop by now and James noticed. "Want another one? Maybe a Captain and Coke this time?"

"Just a Coke's fine," you replied.

"Y/N, say you have to go to the bathroom and leave your phone on the table. We gotta get him getting alcohol to you at least," Jay said.

"Actually, I have to go use the ladies room." You got up, not before turning to him. "I'm expecting that Coke when I get back." You sent a wink his way.

Along with the wire and camera you had in your dress, you had also been given a UC phone so that it could record and take a video of things in case you had to leave.

James Mason had a feeling that you were going to be uptight about leaving with him, so he figured he'd solve it his own way. "Hey, she said a captain and Coke," Mason said to the bartender.

"Last I remember she said just a Coke," the bartender replied, doing his due diligence to make sure a girl who said she didn't want alcohol didn't get it.

"She told me she wanted some before she left," he argued.

"I didn't hear that."

"She whispered it," he growled.

Reluctantly, the bartender gave in and make a captain and Coke, switching it out for her previous stand-alone Coke.

"Mason just put alcohol in Y/N's drink," Jay said into his wire. "Y/N, whatever you do, make up an excuse not to drink it, or else our investigation goes down the toilet."

You looked under the stalls in the bathroom, making sure that no one was there before answering. "Got it. I think I'm gonna make the move to leave with him after. He'll think I'm not interested if I keep holding out."

"She's not getting in a car with him!" you heard Will yell. He was currently sitting in the van with Atwater and Burgess, watching this whole scene go down in case he needed to treat any injuries. "That's not the plan!"

"Will," Kevin started, "this is part of the plan. She just didn't tell you because she knew you wouldn't agree to let her do this if she told you."

"But what if she--"

"If you're gonna keep arguing, turn off your mics!" Voight yelled.

"Sorry, Sarge," Kevin apologized.

"When she leaves with this prick, me and Adam will follow them and Jay and Hailey will follow us. And before you can argue with me Jay because I know you will, I can't have you first on scene."

"Copy that," Jay said.

You exited the bathroom and walked back up to Mason. "Hey I was thinking," you started, running your hand up his arm. This made you want to vomit, but you knew you had to do this to help Emma. "maybe we should go back to your place?"

"You don't want to finish your drink?" he asked.

"No, we can get some at your house, can't we?"

"I guess I have a few things, vodka, tequila, beer."

"Alright, let's go." You grabbed his hand and you started walking to his car. You took a deep, shaky breath as you entered the passenger side. You closed the door, hoping this wouldn't cost you your life.

"Damn Halstead," Adam said, "your sister's good."

"Shut up," both Jay and Will said at the same time. If you weren't undercover, you would've laughed at them having the same response even though they weren't together at the moment.

Jay and Hailey entered Jay's truck, then proceeded to velcro their vests on over their clothes. "Jay, Hailey, you following?" Voight asked.

"Copy that," Jay said as he started his truck and began to drive. He knew he should be off this case, but here he was, adam's apple bobbing up and down, trying to stop from breaking down. It's his little sister in that car with a rapist. His little sister who he swore to protect from the moment she was born. His little sister who saw him as more of a father than their actual one. His little sister who used to come to him in the middle of the night for help finding her teddy bear when Will stole it. His little sister who he taught to drive. His little sister, who he was terrified to lose to this monster of a man.

"You okay?" Hailey asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied.

"No, you're not." Hailey paused, not wanting to pick a fight with him. "I know you're worried about her, Jay. But, we'll protect her. None of us will let anything happen to her. I promise."

"You can't make promises you can't keep, Hailey."

Back in the van, Will was seeing everything. And he wanted to explode. He saw Y/N clench her jaw the moment his hand touched her thigh, but then quickly regain her composure for the sake of the case. He knew she was uncomfortable, and it broke him that he couldn't do anything to stop it. It was his little sister in there. His little sister who he helped with her homework. His little sister who always stole his coffee. His little sister who spam texted him at four in the morning when she knew he had to be up for a long shift during his residency to make sure he wasn't late. His little sister who he had held as she cried when Jay left for his second tour in Afganistan. His little sister, who he couldn't allow anything bad to happen to.

"Where are we going?" Y/N asked, looking around at the rundown industrial part of the city they were entering.

"I make my own beer, so I'm just gonna make a quick pitstop," he answered as they pulled in behind an empty warehouse.

"I'm not so sure--"

In one swift motion, he pulled a gun from his waistband and held it to Y/N's head. The team heard a gasp through their wires.

"What's going on in there, Kevin?" Voight asked.

"He's got a gun to her head, Sarge."

"Screw the safe word, I'm moving in!" Jay yelled, but Hailey grabbed his hand.

"Halstead stand down! She hasn't said the safe word yet, so we are not moving in. Is that clear?" No answer. "I said, is that clear?" Voight repeated.

"Clear," Jay mumbled.

"Scream and I will blow your brains outta your pretty little head," Mason growled, pushing the gun further into your temple. "Now hold out your hands."

You held out your shaking hands and he put zip ties around your wrists. Tight, effectively tying them together.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Move." He pushed you forward and you walked through the black night and into the empty warehouse.

"Please," you pleaded as he pushed you forward still. "Please just let me go and we can pretend none of this happened."

"Too late now. I thought you wanted this." A sick smirk appeared on his face.

In your silent panicky state, you didn't see that there was a pipe on the floor and you tripped over it, scraping up your shin and barely catching yourself with your zip tied hands. You hissed as you hit the ground with a thud. "Didn't see that there, oops," Mason said sarcastically.

In the few seconds on the floor you had left, you reached into your dress and pulled out the lipstick, trying to upcap it while being discreet. Once you got the cap off, you tried to discreetly hide it in your hand, but were roughly pulled up by your hair, causing you to yelp and drop the knife.

"You stupid bitch!" he roared. "You thought you could try and get away from me!"

"No, no, I- I promise. I must've grabbed that by mistake when I grabbed my lipstick."

"Bullshit." Before you could react, you felt his fist connect with the side of your face.

You fell to the ground once more, catching yourself with your tied hands once more. But this time, it was harder, like you wrenched your wrist the wrong way. The pain stopped almost immediately though when you felt his boot-clad foot kick your back, effectively knocking the wind out of you and leaving you gasping for breath.

"I can't listen to this," Jay said, pulling out his wire.

"Jay, what are you--"

"Hailey, just tell me when she says the safe word or when we're told to move in, okay? I can't listen to him beat my sister."

Hailey sighed. "Okay, but you have to put it back in as soon as I tell you to."

"Fine," Jay huffed.

"What's her location?" Voight asked.

"As far as we know, they're still in the main space of the warehouse," Kim answered, looking at the video feed from the camera that was embedded in your dress. "They entered through the front, can you see a side or back entrance?"

"Ruzek and I got a side entrance. Upton and Halstead, I need you to go find a back entrance. And bring the snipers. Atwater and Burgess, you take the front. Stay on video for now. I'll tell you two when to exit the van and move in."

"Wire," Hailey said as she handed Jay's wire back to him. "Voight said to find a back entrace and bring the snipers."

Jay put his wire back in and they exited the truck and grabbed the snipers, in search of a back entrance.

You were roughly pushed down to the ground. He held you there. He reached for your dress and ripped it.

You felt your heart beating in your chest, but couldn't do anything except look into the eyes of your captor. You saw his blond hair wave wildly about as he breathed heavily with adrenaline and watched his lips twitch into a sick smirk. You wanted to kick him, try and fight back. But you couldn't, it was like you were frozen. You parted your lips to scream, but he covered your mouth, effectively shutting you up. It wouldn't have mattered anyway; you were frozen in your current state of shock.

"Sarge, something's wrong," Kevin said. "He pushed her to the gound, and ripped off her dress, but she didn't fight back. At all. She didn't even try to say the safe word before he covered her mouth."

"Frozen," Hank muttered to himself.

"What?" Ruzek asked.

"She's freezing!" he yelled into his radio. "There's fight and flight but there's also freeze, we gotta move in! Now!"

You stared up at James Mason. He kissed your neck roughly and then took his hand off your mouth and fiddled with the zipper of his pants.

"No," you whispered, almost inaudible, as that was as loud as your body would allow your voice to go. It took all your strength to yell, "Vodka--"

"Chicago PD!"

James Mason was ripped away from you, but you were still frozen.

You screamed as someone touched your arm. "Please, no, please," you begged.

"Y/N, Y/N come back," you heard someone say in a soft voice. "It's me, it's Jay, you're safe Short Stack, we're here."

At the mention of your nickname, a switch flipped inside you and you had control over your body again. "Jay?" You looked up.

"It's me."

"Y/N, I'm gonna cut these off you. Hold still, okay?" Burgess said and then cut the zip ties off your wrists.

"Here." Kevin quickly handed you his shirt to cover yourself up with.

"Thank you," you whispered, holding back tears.

"Can you stand up?" Jay asked a minute later.

You slowly nodded, taking his hand to help you stand up.

"We're gonna get you back to the district and let Will have a look at you, okay?"

Jay wrapped a hand protectively around your waist as he, Hailey, and you exited the building.

"Y/N!" Will yelled, running towards you. His loud voice made you flinch, which didn't go unnoticed by Hailey or Jay who shared a look.

He slightly crouched down to your height and enveloped you in one of the tightest hugs he had ever given and that you had ever received. "Ow," you squeaked as his arms wrapped around the very place Mason had kicked you.

"Sorry," he said, quickly letting go. "Pain scale, one to ten?"

"I- I don't know," you answered, the adrenaline haven't worn off yet.

"Let's get back to the district," Hailey said.

You all got into Jay's truck, with Jay and Hailey in the front, Jay driving of course, and you and Will in the back. You snuggled into Will's side, finally starting to realize how cold it was. Will started to move, but you whined. "Please don't leave me," you whispered.

"I'm not leaving you, I'm just giving you my jacket."

You nodded and Will removed his jacket and draped it over your legs. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer.

"I'm sorry," you started to cry, the adrenaline finally starting to wear off.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all," Will reassured you.

"If I would've said the safe word earlier--"

"Y/N, you were frozen. There was nothing you could do." Jay said, trying to keep his attention focused on the road. "None of this is your fault."

***

"I have an emergency overnight bag in my locker," Hailey said as soon as you entered Intelligence. "Come with me."

Slowly, you followed her into the locker room, to be met with a few beat cops. "Everybody out! Now!" Hailey commanded.

A few seconds later, it was only you and Hailey sitting in the locker room. "I was so scared," you said to Hailey, feeling a familiar lump begin to rise in your throat. "He almost- If I didn't- Hailey!" you wailed.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay." She paused. "Can I hug you?" she asked, knowing that the only people who touched you since the encounter were your brothers.

You nodded and she gave you a side hug and rubbed your back. When you didn't stop crying, she wrapped you in a hug and swayed back and forth. You ended up swaying along, too. You laughed.

"What's so funny?" she asked quietly.

"My mom used to do this to me when I was little. She said it was the only thing that actually calmed me down."

You stayed like that a moment longer. "I think I should change so that Will can check me out."

"I'll keep watch and make sure no one else comes in here."

When Hailey left the locker room, she was met with the Halstead brothers. Jay was crying. She'd never seen him cry before.

"The minute she yelled out Hailey, I just lost it, Will. If I would've just went in earlier, I could've stopped it. I'm supposed to protect her."

"We both are, Jay."

"Well, we both did a shitty job!"

Will reacted faster than he thought he could, catching Jay's hand before it slammed into the wall. "Y/N is right inside there. Don't do that."

Jay took a deep breath and just nodded. "Will?" The three turned when they heard a small voice.

"Hey kid," Will replied. "Let's get you patched up, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Me and Jay are gonna get some coffee," Hailey said. "Come get us if you need anything."

Will gave them a curt nod and then the two of you walked into the locker room. He unzipped his medical bag. After putting on some gloves, he walked over to the sink and got a washcloth wet. "Tell me if it's too hot, okay?"

"Okay."

He began to wipe the dried blood away from the left side of your face and then proceeded to put butterfly bandaids on both your eyebrow and cheekbone. "Follow the light with your eyes, don't turn your head."

You did as he said and followed the flashlight with your eyes. "Can you roll up your sweatpants?" he asked. "Just so I can take a look at your shin. That looked like a pretty nasty fall."

"You were watching?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Since you saw, do you- do you know why I froze?" you asked weakly, looking down at your feet. "I thought I was stronger than that."

"Hey, hey, look at me, Y/N." You looked up at your brother. "You are one of the strongest people I know, okay? I don't know anyone else who would volunteer to do what you just did. You're a hero, Y/N. A true hero."

"Then why did I freeze up?"

"Everybody reacts to anxiety-provoking or traumatizing events differently. Some people just freeze. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's just how your nervous system was wired."

He put a bandaid on your shin and felt around the area, causing you to wince. "The good news is that nothing's broken. But, you'll probably have some bruising tomorrow." You nodded in response. "We just gotta make sure we ice it. Now, I'm gonna have to lift up your shirt to look at your back," Will warned you.

"Can we get Hailey?"

"Of course."

He stood up and began to walk towards the door, when you stopped him. "I- I don't wanna be alone." You stood up and walked to him.

He wrapped his arm back around you again. "Don't worry, I'll protect you. You're also in a building full of cops, so I think you're in one of the safest places in the city."

You and your brother entered the bullpen, to be faced with all of Intelligence knee-deep in paperwork. "Hailey, can we borrow you for a sec?" Will asked.

"'Course."

"Okay, all I need you to do is lift up the back of Y/N's shirt...well, Kevin's shirt," Will said once the three were back in the locker room.

"I'm gonna lift this up now," Hailey told you. You nodded, letting her know you were ready.

Soon enough, you felt a stethoscope on your back. "Deep breath." You did so and then repeated the action a few times while Will moved the stethoscope around. "Lung sounds are good."

"So, no hospital?" you asked hopefully.

"No hospital, just lots of ice. You can put her shirt down now."

You stifled a yawn, exhaustion finally hitting you after the night you had. "I'll go get Jay and see if Voight'll let him leave. I don't see it being a problem," Hailey said before leaving.

"Hey Sarge, think you could let Jay get out of here?" Hailey asked.

"I gave him the option of leaving as soon as he came back in here."

"Why'd they need you?" Jay butted in.

"I just needed to lift up Y/N's shirt while Will checked out her back. And, no, she doesn't have to go to the hospital. But, she's exhausted."

"Sarge?"

"Go home, Jay."

***

"Y/N, you need to eat something," Jay pleaded.

You had been home for half an hour and all you had done was take a shower. Now you were staring down Jay because eating was the last thing you wanted to do. All you wanted to do was go in your room and sob into your pillow while Will was asleep on the living room couch and Jay was asleep in the room across from yours. You were afraid that if you ate something, you'd just end up throwing it up if you cried too hard...very irrational, but that was your thought process. And, besides, you weren't hungry anyway.

"I'm not hungry," you answered, moving the ice pack around on your shin.

"Listen, I don't care what you eat. Hell, you can eat Oreos for all I care."

"We have Oreos?"

"I hid them on the top shelf so you won't eat all of them because they're your favorite," Jay answered, heading over to the cabinet and grabbing the package. He put them back on the table, pulling them open. You took three and started to eat them.

"I'm gonna go to bed now," you said a few minutes later once you had finished the Oreos.

Will exited the bathroom at that exact moment. "You sure you don't wanna have a sleepover in the living room like we used to when we were little?" Will asked, going into big brother mode once again.

"I'm sure. I just want my own bed. Goodnight."

It had been a few hours and you had finally fallen into a restless sleep. Will was currently asleep on the couch, but Jay wasn't in his room like you expected him to be. He was sitting outside your room, drinking a cup of coffee. It was enough that it would keep him awake, but if he really wanted to sleep, he'd actually be able to. Jay knew how bad nightmares could be. He also knew how to wake someone out of a nightmare without getting himself injured if they tried to punch him, so he figured it would be best if he stayed up, just in case.

He started to hear more tossing and turning coming from your oom. It wasn't the usual sounds of someone trying to get in a comfortable sleeping position...even if they did have multiple injuries to contend with. It was the sound of not having conscious control of movement.

Slowly, as to not wake you yet, Jay opened your door. As he moved closer to you, he could see that your eyes were moving back and forth beneath your eyelids, a telltale sign of REM sleep, aka a dream sleep. Or, in your case, nightmare sleep.

"Y/N," he whispered. "Y/N, wake up." Gently, he touched your shoulder, causing you to jolt awake, your breathing jagged. "Y/N, it's just me. You're at home, it was all a dream," he quickly said.

"Jay?" you asked, darting your eyes around your dark room.

"Yeah." He noticed your breathing still hadn't evened out. "Breathe with me, okay?" Then, he overexaggerated his inhales and exhales, effectively getting your breathing back to normal. "You want the lights on?"

"Please."

Jay turned on your light and the sight he was met with absolutely broke his heart. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying and you had dark circles under your eyes from exhaustion. "I'm so tired. Why can't I just sleep?" you began to cry, this time it wasn't from fear or coming down from adrenaline, it was from pure exhaustion.

Jay sat on the other side of your bed. When you moved to push yourself up, you winced, pain shooting through your right wrist. "What's wrong? Is it your back? Leg?"

"No, it's my wrist," you answered. "I must've hit it harder than I thought when I fell."

"Need me to wake up Will?" you shook your head, no, you could move it. It was just sore and putting weight on it hurt, but you knew it wasn't broken or fractured. It didn't take a medical degree for you to know that. "Okay, I'll go get you some ice and ibuprofen."

Jay left your room and you stood up and grabbed a book from your bookshelf.

He came back into your room, carrying a glass of water, ice, a bottle of pills, and to your surprise, Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. "Figured a late-night snack never hurt anyone," he said, sitting down next to you once again.

"Thought you hated Oreos and peanut butter," you said, unscrewing the lid to the PB jar.

"I do, but you like it...even though it's disgusting."

"You can thank The Parent Trap for that one."

Jay chuckled but then sighed. "Listen, Y/N, if you have nightmares, you can always talk to me about them, okay?"

"Yeah." You shrugged.

"And I'm not just saying this because I'm your brother and it's my job," he continued. "I'm saying this because I know how it is."

"What do you mean?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows while grabbing another oreo and dipping it in peanut butter.

"Remember when I got home from overseas and I wouldn't let you stay over late?"

"Yeah, always thought that was weird. But why are you bringing this up?"

"Because," he paused, wondering if he should actually tell you. "I'd have nightmares. And, if someone tried to wake me up, sometimes I'd still think I was there and I'd throw a few punches. I didn't want you over at night because I didn't want you to wake me up because I didn't want to hurt you.

"And, I didn't mean for it to go as far as it did tonight. I wanted to move in, but I couldn't--"

"I told Hailey to leave me in."

"You what?"

"I told Hailey to let him get rough with me before moving in. I just wanted you guys to have enough evidence so that Emma didn't have to testify against him."

"Testify? Y/N, what are you talking about?"

"I know how this goes, Jay. Not enough evidence, equals no case. And, we both know how hard rape cases are to prove. It's a he said she said. I- I just, I couldn't let my best friend relive the worst night of her life."

"Y/N, once we get him into interrogation tomorrow, he could take a deal. You don't know it's gonna go to trial."

You grabbed the pills next to you and popped an ibuprofen. "I know, but I knew I had to try and protect Emma...just like you and Will always try and protect me."

"When did you get so grown up?" Jay asked, putting an arm around you.

You shrugged, you wanted to say when your dad died, but you knew Jay didn't have the best relationship with him--neither did you for that matter--so you decided not to go there.

Jay looked down at the book next to you. "Prisoner of Azkaban? Thought you read it already?"

"I've read all of them. I thought, maybe you could read it to me? Like you did when I was little?"

You forgot how old you were when it started. You had to be in bed by eight o'clock on school nights, much to your dismay because as far as you knew, both of your brothers could stay up as late as they wanted. One night, you couldn't sleep and you knew your parents would just put you back to bed, so you peeked into Will's room. He was sitting on his desk, writing in a notebook. Assuming he was doing homework and not wanting to bug him, you hugged your teddy bear to your chest and walked to Jay's room, seeing as his light was still on as well.

Upon hearing his door creak open, Jay looked up from what he was reading. "Now what are you doing up?" Jay asked with a smile. "It's past your bedtime."

"But I'm not tired, Jay Jay," you whined, climbing on his bed to sit next to him. "That's a big book," you said, referring to the chapter book he held in his hands.

"It is. But you'll be able to read them soon, too!"

"I will?" you asked, cuddling your teddy bear, who you had named Teddy, to your chest. You looked up at your big brother with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Yes, you will."

"Will you read to me?"

"But you don't know what the book is about, silly."

"Then what's it about?" you asked curiously.

"It's about a wizard named Harry who has friends, Ron and Hermoine, and they have to fight the bad guys."

"Oooooh," you said excitedly. "Read it to me, Jay Jay."

"But we have to be quiet so we don't wake up Mommy and Daddy. Because then you have to go to your room."

"Okay, shhh," you put a finger to your lips.

"That's right, shhh," he mimicked, reopening his book to the previous page he was on.

You snuggled down into the covers with Teddy and listened to Jay tell you the story of Harry Potter and this guy named Sirius. Within five pages though, you were asleep.

"Course I'll read to you," he answered, taking an Oreo.

"Mine," you joked, swatting his hand away.

"Last I checked, I bought them. And, you didn't even know we had them until earlier."

You huffed. "Fine."

And just like when you were little, you fell asleep within one chapter.

***

"I'm here to see Intelligence," Emma said as she walked up to the desk sergeant in the 21st District the next morning.

"And you are?" Trudy Platt asked, annoyance laced in her voice, after all, it was only 8:30 on a Monday morning.

"Uh, I'm Emma. I'm here to make an ID," she answered timidly.

"Oh, so you're Emma!" Emma gave Platt a confused look, how did she know who she was? "Y/N's here a lot, so I've heard a lot of good things about you. You two are thick as thieves."

"That we are," Emma answered with a small smile.

Platt picked up the phone and dialed Jay's extension. "Halstead, Emma's down here to see you."

"Copy that, be right there," he answered. Then, he turned to Hailey. "Emma's here to make an ID. Mind telling Voight to get a lineup ready?"

"Got it," Hailey answered and then Jay left the bullpen.

"Hey, Emma," he said as he jogged downstairs. Normally he'd go and hug her since she was like another little sister to him and Will because of how long she and you had been best friends, but after everything that had happened, he knew to keep his distance.

"Hey, Jay," she answered.

"Where's your mom?"

"Oh, she got called in. You know how it is for first responders," Emma shrugged. Her mom was a paramedic and was first on scene, so Jay understood how demanding it was.

"Are you sure you're okay to do this alone?" Jay asked, concerned once they were up in the bullpen. "I can always text Y/N so that she can be here with you?"

"No, thanks though."

"Hailey, lineup ready?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, Voight's in there already. I'll come with you."

Jay and Hailey led Emma into the room. "You can see them, but they can't see you," Jay told her. "Just take as long as you need; there's no rush." Emma nodded. "Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Emma answered nervously.

Voight knocked on the glass and Kevin let the men in the lineup enter. Emma looked at them one by one, her heart beating out of her chest. When her eyes landed on number three, her breath hitched and she turned to Jay. "Number three."

"Are you sure?" He put a hand on Emma's shoulder comfortingly, just like he'd do for Y/N if she were here.

"I'm positive. I'm gonna--"

Before she could finish her sentence, Jay's black t-shirt had vomit dripping down the front. Y/N has nightmares, Emma vomits. That's how it's always been, whenever Emma got overwhelmed or nervous, she'd puke. Same for Y/N, but with nightmares.

"I'm so sorry, Jay," she apologized, feeling tears of embarrassment prick her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he rushed, not wanting to make her feel even the slightest bit bad. "This isn't even the worst thing I've been covered in. I've got a change of clothes in my locker, so don't worry about it."

"C'mon, Emma," Hailey said. "Let's get you some water."

***

You were brushing your teeth when your phone vibrated on the counter next to you.

I just puked on your brother. Please come down now.

"Oh my God," you laughed after spitting out your toothpaste and then leaving the bathroom.

"Well that's a nice sound," Will said as he sat at the table, sipping his morning coffee. After everything that happened last night, he didn't know if he'd ever hear his little sister laugh again because all he's heard since last night are her worried voice and quiet sobs.

"Emma just puked on Jay!"

Will almost choked on his coffee. "Did someone get a picture?"

"Probably not. Good to leave in 15?" Jay didn't want you driving alone after what happened last night, and since you didn't get a lot of sleep, you didn't blame him for that. So, Will was going to drop you off at the district before his shift at Med started. He tried to get someone to cover it, but it was the middle of flu season, so no one could.

Will nodded and half an hour later you walked into the district. "Hey Trudy," Will said, waving to the desk sergeant. "Buzz us up?"

For once, Trudy didn't give either of you a snide remark, she just unlocked the gate to the bullpen and let you up.

"Sleep at all?" Kim asked as soon as she saw you.

"Not really," you answered truthfully. "Anyone know where Emma is?"

"Last I saw she was in the breakroom with Hailey and your brother." Will looked up. "Your other brother, the one who works here," Kim specified.

"Thanks, Kim."

You entered the breakroom to see Emma sitting at the table on her phone with Jay and Hailey. "Hey, Em," you said as you sat down next to her.

"Hey," she answered.

"I gotta go," Will said.

"Thanks for bringing her. Now go save some lives," Jay said and then hugged his brother.

Emma furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "You didn't drive yourself?"

"Why don't you guys go grab yourselves coffee or something? On me," Jay said and then pulled out his wallet and handed you some money.

You knew what this was. He wanted you and Emma to have a chance to talk alone without the threat of people walking in on your conversation. "Can we take your truck? It's freezing out, Jay," you said.

"You've never driven it before," he pointed out. "And, are you sure you're awake enough to drive?"

"I'll be fine. The coffee shop is just a few blocks away."

He sighed and pulled out his keys. "Fine, but no speeding."

"Copy that, detective," you joked, causing him to roll his eyes. "You want anything? This is more than enough to get us coffee and you and Hailey something, too."

"Yeah, sure. Surprise me. Hailey likes--"

"Just black. I know. Thanks for the money."

Then, you exited the district with Emma behind you. "What was that all about? Why was he so worried about you? I mean, more worried than usual that is," Emma said once both of you were safely inside Jay's truck.

"Are you sleeping?" you asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, it's just hard to get to sleep."

"Well, if you need to talk, call me okay? I barely slept at all last night."

"What? Why?

You sighed, knowing there was no way you could get out of this conversation. And, you knew that Emma deserved the truth and she deserved to hear it from you. But, if you were going to tell this story, you knew that you shouldn't be driving while doing so. ��"They needed more proof to charge the guy that raped you, Emma. So, I volunteered to go undercover."

"Y/N, you didn't."

"I did. I'm fine though."

"Is that why your makeup is so thick on one side? Did he hit you?"

"I guess I'm telling you the whole story, then." And so, before you even started driving, you told your best friend everything that happened to you.

Meanwhile, back inside, Jay and Hailey were giving James Mason hell on your behalf. "Lawyer," Mason stated calmly.

"The minute you get a lawyer in here, James, all of your help from us goes out the window, so if I were you, I'd start talking," Hailey told him, crossing her arms.

"Lawyer."

"Listen here, Mason," Jay spat. "We have you on video hitting and trying to rape that girl from last night. We have you on video trying to give alcohol to said girl who is a minor. So if I were you, I'd talk. Not that you're going to get a deal, though."

"What part do you not understand? The law or the yer?" He moved to stand up, but Jay roughly shoved him back down.

"Sit your ass back down now."

"This is police misconduct!" he yelled. "I'll sue all of you!"

"Yeah, good luck with that. It's awfully hard to sue from a prison cell. And that's where you're gonna be spending the rest of your life."

Hailey pulled out some pictures. It was Emma in the hospital after she had been raped. "You recognize her?"

"Never seen her before," he said, not even glancing at the picture.

"Look at the damn pictures!" Jay slammed his hands on the table. He wanted to break this prick's neck, but he didn't want to lose his job over this prick either.

Mason looked down at the pictures and he started to smirk. "Don't know her."

"Yeah, that look on your face says otherwise. And, the DNA we got from under her fingernails says that you were the person who did this."

"That's impossible!" He yelled, jumping out of his seat.

"And why is that?" Jay's face was so close to Mason's that Mason could almost feel the spit coming from Jay's mouth as he yelled back at him.

"Because she was tied up!"

"We never mentioned anything about her being tied up, James. And, that sounds like something only the person who did this would know," Hailey said calmly, knowing that they had him. James Mason sat back down.

"You know what they do in prison to people like you?" Jay asked rhetorically. "As soon as word gets out about your charges, one of the big tough guys in there is gonna make you his bitch. They don't like rapists in prison, Mason. They'll get you in the showers, anywhere. They'll use anything they can find, a mop, soap, anything. But, if you cooperate with us, we'll make sure that you don't have to go into general population and that what I just mentioned won't happen. So, what do you say?"

"Fine!" Mason yelled. "I did it! I raped her and I enjoyed it, too! Seeing her struggle just made it even better and seeing the fear in her eyes when I held the gun to her head and told her that if she screamed, she'd die, well that was the best part."

Jay roughly pulled him back up. "C'mon, let's go."

Emma had stopped to go the bathroom but said she'd meet you back up in the bullpen as soon as she was done. You started to walk up the stairs when you heard someone yelling, telling another person to move. It sounded like your brother.

You looked up and it was as if you had forgotten how to move. Right in front of you, stood the man who did all of those horrible things to you last night. You wanted to run away, to spit in his face, anything to get away from him, but you couldn't move. You were shocked you hadn't dropped the drink carrier you were holding, either.

"You bitch!" He yelled.

Before Jay knew it, he swung. He didn't care that there were cameras or that he was a cop. At that moment, you mattered more to him than this job. No one called you a bitch in front of your brother and got away with it.

"Jay!" Voight yelled. "Let go!"

Jay let go of Mason and roughly pushed him over to Voight. Gently, he grabbed your arm. "Y/N, can you come upstairs with me?" he asked quietly.

"What?" you had snapped out of your frozen state but hadn't registered what Jay had said.

"I asked if you can come upstairs with me?"

"Uh, yeah. Here's your coffee by the way," you handed him the caramel mocha you had picked out for him.

"This tastes more like hot chocolate than coffee," he joked.

"I promise it's got caffeine. And, I'll go ask Platt for that footage to be erased. She likes me more than you."

***

It's been a week since everything has happened and you and Emma were slowly coming to terms with the fact that what happened, happened. You still got nightmares and Emma still had trouble sleeping, so she drank coffee like it was water. Jay finally felt comfortable to leave you alone, after changing the pin to the safe, though. He knew what thoughts went through people's heads when they went through a major trauma like you and Emma. And, he didn't want to lose either of you.

Voight walked upstairs to Intelligence and he did not look happy, to say the least. "Halstead. Upton. My office," he ordered.

Both gave the other a confused look but followed their boss.

"What's up, Sarge?" Jay asked as he closed the door.

"What's up? What's up is we don't have a case!" Voight practically yelled but quieted down because he didn't want the rest of the unit to think something was wrong, not yet anyway.

"We just got a case this morning. What are you--"

Voight slammed his hands on his desk. "Not this case, dammit! Your sister's case!"

"We got a confession! What's wrong with it?" Hailey asked, watching as Jay clenched his jaw in frustration.

"He asked for a lawyer and you didn't give him one!"

"That's never stopped us before! And it's damn rich coming from you!" Jay pointed an accusing finger at his boss.

"Jay," Hailey said, placing a hand on his chest and gently pushing him back before he did something he'd later regret. "So, what happened, Sarge?"

"What happened is that we needed that confession."

"We have the DNA from under Emma's fingernails and it's a match to Mason's. And we have a positive ID from the lineup," Hailey said, wondering how the hell they needed that confession to make the case when they had two pieces of evidence against him.

"The problem is that his lawyer's arguing that the DNA under the nails was from consensual sex and the lineup is just because she saw him before! We can still make Y/N's case because we have video and audio evidence of the entire thing, but there's no case against Mason when it comes to her friend."

"So, we bring him back in, this time with his lawyer," Jay suggested.

"No. You're way too close this case, Jay," Voight told his detective.

"So what do we do?" Hailey asked.

"Emma will have to testify."

"Testify?" Jay ran a hand down his face and walked across the room and sat on the couch. "You saw what happened when she made a positive ID, Sarge. She can't go through that again. And, Y/N will have to testify too since she's a material witness. We can't put them through this. We just can't."

"How much would he get if we just press charges for Y/N's case?" Hailey asked.

"With the attempted sexual charge, assault charge, and distribution of alcohol to a minor, he'd be looking at five years. But, he'd probably be out in three."

"Shit," Jay muttered. "I gotta go. I gotta be the one to break the news to the girls." He yanked Voight's office door open and quickly grabbed his coat.

"Hailey, go with him. And don't take no for an answer because I don't trust him enough to just tell them and do nothing."

"Copy you, Sarge."

Hailey left and grabbed her jacket, running down the stairs and out of the 21st, just in time to catch Jay. "I'm coming with you. And it's not up for discussion."

You and Emma were sitting on the living room floor, each working on your respective assignments for school when the door opened, causing both of you to jump. "Jay? Hailey? What are you guys doing here?" you asked, wondering why Jay was home at only nine in the morning and why Hailey was with him.

Jay grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and set it on the table. "What's that for?" you asked.

"Come sit at the table. Me and Hailey have to tell you something. Something really important. The bowl's for Emma."

"What's going on?" Emma asked as she sat down.

"We can't make your case against Mason," Hailey said.

"What do you mean you can't make the case?" you asked.

And then they launched into why they can't make the case. "So let me get this straight," you said after they finished. "We can't make the case because you fucked up?"

"We've done it hundreds of times, Y/N. It just didn't work this time," Jay said quietly.

"But Emma's case isn't just one of those hundreds, Jay! How did you let this happen? She's not gonna testify, and you know this!" you yelled, speaking as if Emma wasn't even there. "I mean look at her!" You motioned to Emma who was hunched over the bowl in front of her, trying to keep her food down.

Emma looked up. "How long would he get for what he did to Y/N?"

"He'd do three years," Hailey answered.

"Three years? That's it? That bastard deserves life!" You knew if it were any other day, Jay would've told you to watch your language. But, it wasn't just any other day.

"I know, I know he does, Y/N," Jay agreed loudly. "We'd get Peter Stone, one of the best attorneys around and he'd prep you and Emma so well that there's no way this case could go under!"

"Wait, Y/N has to testify, too?" Emma asked.

"As a material witness, yes, she would have to testify," Hailey answered.

"No, we're not doing this," Emma said adamantly. "Maybe he'll change in prison, okay? I can't put her through this."

"Emma, I can handle it. But, if you don't want to do this, just tell me. I won't blame you at all."

Emma took a deep, shaky breath. "I can't. I'm sorry." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she jumped up and made a beeline for the bathroom.

"So, Mason does five years, out in three," Jay said, looking at his sister.

"That's it? You're just giving up?" you yelled, standing up and walking over to your brother.

"Y/N, there's nothing else we can do. I'm sorry."

"Oh don't give me that I'm sorry bullshit! You fucked this up, so you're gonna fucking fix it!"

***

"What'd she say?" Voight asked as soon as Hailey and Jay entered the district once more.

"She's not testifying," Hailey answered.

"Sarge, are you sure there's nothing else we can do? You know as well as I do that this monster doesn't deserve to take another breath as a free man."

"Listen, let me make some calls and I'll see what I can do."

Voight picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. "Tyler, it's Hank Voight."

"Hey Hank, what can I do for you?" Tyler answered into one of the blue phones in the county jail.

"How's your son doing?"

"He doing good. I miss him though. My girl sent me some pictures of him yesterday though."

"That's good. That's really good. Mind if I see those pictures tomorrow during visiting hours?"

"It'd be a welcome visit, Hank."

***

"200k and we have a deal," Tyler said to Hank as they sat at one of the cold, metal tables in the visiting room.

"150," Voight argued, increasing the payout 50k.

Tyler sat there for a moment, thinking it over. "150k would be able to pay for his house or college. And, hey, I'm stuck here for life anyway. You got yourself a deal."

"Money'll be in a trust fund a few months after, just to be safe." The two shook on the deal and Hank left.

***

There was a knock at the door as you, Jay, and Emma were eating dinner. She had come over to your house once more to do homework and Jay picked up some food on his way home from work.

"I got it," Jay stood up and pushed his chair in.

"Sarge? What are you doing here?" Jay asked.

"Are the girls here?"

"Yeah, they both are. Come in. What's going on?"

"Hi, Y/N," Voight greeted you. "Emma, Sargent Hank Voight, we met a week ago."

"Yes, I remember you," Emma replied.

"What's up, Sarge? It's gotta be important if you came over here."

"James Mason was killed in county."

You dropped your fork. "What?" Jay asked, as stunned as both you and Emma. "When?"

"About an hour ago. I figured that you should be the first to know."

"Wow," Emma breathed out.

"I gotta go, though," Voight said.

Jay walked him to the door and followed him out onto the front steps. "Please tell me you didn't do what I think you did?" Jay asked.

"If you're asking me if I killed that man, no Jay, I didn't do that."

"Do you know who did?" Jay asked, not being able to believe that this was just a coincidence.

"Tyler," was all Voight said.

"Tyler? As in the Tyler we put away for a double homicide six months ago?"

"That's the one."

"And you had nothing to do with it? Because if IAD finds out anything against you--"

"Jay, I had nothing to do with it. Tyler must've found out the charges and killed him just like he killed the two men who raped his sister."

"You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?"

"He's gone, Jay. Those girls can sleep peacefully now. Just let it be and be there for Y/N. None of this will come back to me."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd gladly put a bullet in that bastard's head!"

"I know you. You do everything with your heart. And that's what makes you a good cop, a good detective, and a great brother to your little sister, Jay. I know you couldn't live with yourself if you did it. Now, go back inside before your food gets cold."

Voight turned and left, leaving Jay wondering how the hell this happened. But he knew one thing: No one would find out about this. Y/N wanted justice for Emma and she got justice, even if it wasn't the right way to go about it.

Later that night, Emma fell asleep within fifteen minutes, the first time in a week and a half that she had fallen asleep that fast. Y/N slept soundly without any nightmares for the first time in a week and a half. And Jay slept in his own bed, instead of slumped against the hallway wall, waiting for the inevitable when he'd have to comfort his sister. He wouldn't admit it, but he was thankful for what Voight did for him. He always said family was everything and he was right. You were Jay's family and Jay was a member of Voight's Intelligence family. Because of this, you were a part of the Intelligence family, too. And, Voight would do anything for family...even if it meant putting 150k in a trust fund for Tyler's son so that you and Emma could both sleep through the night and move on with your lives.

A/N comment and tell me what you think!

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@xhaliemax @alievans007 

[lachimolala0713]

And I Still Love You | Chapter I

Summary | He hurt you and yet you still love him. He treat you like nothing yet you still want to stay with him. He loathe you very much and yet you want to please him. What happens when the time comes he might kill you?

Genre | Angst, Drama, Smut

Main Characters | Jungkook x Reader ft. Donghae & Taehyung

Supporting Characters | Eunhyuk & Hoseok

Author's Note | I want to thank my co-ARMY Pied Piper and the future readers of this story!

Your mouth is bleeding from Jungkook's hard slap on your face, your right eye turned purple already because of his punch and your arms had red and purple marks from his strong grip on you.

"I'm sorry!" you plead, "Why are you so stupid?! You stepped on my shoe and now it's dirty!" your husband yelled. "I have an important meeting with a big client today!" he continued and you keep on crying and asking him to forgive you. He smirk and click his tongue and left your house, leaving you in pain.

You and Jungkook are married - arranged marriage. You were together for 3 years. Both your families are wealthy and Jungkook's father wanted his only son to get married as soon as possible for a stronger relationship and future of their business. When Jungkook first saw you he find you very beautiful and suitable to be the future mother of your children someday. Jungkook's dream is to have a family and he saw that with you. He learned to love you and you felt the same way, you get along with each other and when both of you were ready, you made love.

A miracle happened that you never knew. You felt the difference and changes in your body but you ignored it. You thought you were just eating too much that you felt bloated, you were just emotionally stressed due to work and you are used to your period being delayed for months since your menstruation cycle is irregular. Until one day, you went snow skiing by yourself while Jungkook is in business trip. You were enjoying that day because you always love pushing your boundaries.

Until it went too far.

You were going down rapidly, you panicked, you lost your balance and you tripped over rock. You were rolling along the slope very fast and suddenly your abdomen landed on another rock and it caused a massive impact and gave you a tremendous pain which made you scream your lungs out.

You were unconscious when you were rushed to the ER near the location, the nurse got your details and contacted Jungkook. Jungkook cut his business trip and quickly booked a VIP flight to see you. He was worried and anxious. His heart is wrenching from pain by thinking how you were.

Jungkook arrived at the hospital you were in and the attending approached him, "How's my wife, doctor?" Jungkook asked, he's trembling, waiting for the doctor's response. "Your wife is safe, Mr. Jeon." the doctor said, "Oh thank god!" He breathed in relief, until he noticed something’s wrong, the doctor sighed heavily and looked at Jungkook in the eye, "What is it?" Jungkook wondered, "We couldn't save the baby, Mr. Jeon." the doctor finally said. Jungkook was shocked, tears fell from his eyes and he took a moment to absorb the news. "Wait, she's pregnant?" He asked, the doctor nodded, "She's 8 weeks pregnant." The doctor confirmed, "Oh my god!" Jungkook breathed, covering his face with his hands and looking down to hide his pain after hearing the news, "The impact made a severe damage which caused a lot of bleeding. With the severe damage in the tissues and nerves on her abdomen..." The doctor paused, Jungkook looked at the doctor while he's breathing heavily, "I'm afraid she won't be able to have a baby anymore." The doctor said, making Jungkook cry even more.

He can't handle the thought of not having a child with you. A family he's been dreaming to have with you, is now gone.

Jungkook went to the recovery room where you were checked in. You were sleeping soundly, he looked at you, stared at you, his sadness turned into anger. He's frustrated at the situation and at the same time, he's angry at you. He never got the chance to witness your first pregnancy test, your first checkup, your first ultrasound image of the baby. And he will never experience any of those because of your recklessness. He loves you but he can't feel it anymore. All he feels about you now is anger and rage.

The next day, you finally woke up in the hospital bed and you saw Jungkook staring at you intensely. "Jungkook..." You said, you squirmed from the pain because of your sudden movement, and Jungkook is just staring at you, not comforting or helping you from getting up. "What are you-", "You were pregnant." Jungkook cut you off and you were shocked by his cold tone and from what you've just heard. "I-I-I didn't-" you stuttered, "You didn't know?!" Jungkook raised his voice, and you flinched, "How stupid are you?! You didn't felt it?!" He shouted and you were breathing heavily by his reaction, you shook your head giving him a 'No' answer, "You'll never get pregnant because of the accident." And on that moment, tears fell from Jungkook's eyes again. His eyes showed pain, sorrow, sadness and disappointment. "You're a disappointment, Y/N." He said and he left the room.

That's where it all started. Jungkook became cold to you, he always shouts at you, he gets angry at you in small things and for the first time he started to hit you. His anger and rage towards you took over the love he felt for you. You became nothing to him. A nuisance. As much as he wanted to divorce you, he can't. His parents won't let him and same goes for you, for the sake of their businesses your marriage must stand even if it fell apart.

You lost the urge to go to work today but you have to. You get up and fix yourself. You massage your eye with ice to lessen the purple color around it and then you cover it with lots of foundation and concealer. You were about to leave, you received a text message from your sweet older brother, Donghae.

NEMO: How's my sweet sister? Can I visit you at your office today?

Your eyes are getting watery after reading his message. Donghae loves you so much that he's the only one in your family you lean onto. You send him a reply.

Y/N: Of course you can! I can't wait to see you! :)

Donghae arrive at your office, "Hey, there she is!" He greeted happily, "Hey!" You greet him back and he give you a big hug. He let go to take a look at you and he didn’t expect to see those marks on your face, "What happened to you?" He worried, "Nothing." You lied, "Y/N, I know you. You love Jungkook but I can see he doesn't feel the same way to you anymore." Your brother said, he began searching for more bruises on your body, he check your arms, legs, hands and neck. "You could just leave his place and stay married to him if that’s what’s bothering you." Donghae said, "I know." You said, and you can't contain the tears falling from your eyes. "I don't want to leave him, Donghae. I just can't." You break down on your knees on the floor in front of your brother and all he could do is hold you tight. "I'm always here for you." He said, and his voice is so gentle and soothing that it gave you comfort and you hold onto that comfort as your anchor from the pain you're feeling right now.

Your sobs slowly quiet down but Donghae notice you're not moving, he try to wake you but you're not waking up. He lift your face to check up on you, you were pale, your lips are dehydrated and your body temperature is cold.

"Oh my god, Y/N!" Your brother panicked. "Call an ambulance!" He shouted and your executive assistant rush to your office and find you lifeless in your brother's arm, "Hurry!" He said to your executive assistant, and she quickly get a phone call.

The ambulance arrive and they put you on the gurney and they quickly take you to the vehicle. Donghae is by your side inside the vehicle and he hold your hand. "Please hurry." He beg to the medical team and he didn't realize he was crying already just by looking at your current state.

There’s a knock on the door in Jungkook’s office, “Come in.” he’s executive assistant enters his office, “What is it, Hoseok?” Jungkook asked, “It’s your wife, Mr. Jeon.” Hoseok said, Jungkook continue reading the documents he needs to finish and sign for work, he sigh heavily, long silence irritates him. He put down the documents on his desk and look at Hoseok, “What does she want? Can’t you see I’m -” “She’s rushed to the hospital.” Hoseok cut him off, Jungkook wasn’t expecting this kind of news especially he is focusing at work, he swallow thickly, trying to absorb what he just heard, “What did you say?” Jungkook asking Hoseok for clarification. “I received a call from the hospital, that your wife was rushed to the hospital.” Hoseok clarified. Jungkook’s hands are trembling as he took the documents to distract him, “Okay. Thank you. You can go now.” he said and Hoseok leaves his office.

You were sleeping peacefully in the recovery room, Donghae is by your side, watching over you. The doctor comes in, Donghae stands up to talk to the doctor, “Hello, I’m Doctor Lee Hyuk-jae.” the doctor greeted, “Hello, I’m her brother, Donghae. How is she?” your brother asked, “She’s okay now don’t worry.” the doctor reassured, “She experienced hematoma from her bruises. She’s dehydrated and I can tell she’s going in a lot of stress. She’s underweight and from the looks of it, she’s not eating properly.” the doctor explained. Donghae look at you and he’s beginning to worry of your situation at your home with Jungkook. “Doctor, can I talk to you outside?” he gently asked, “Sure.”

Donghae and the doctor are in the hall outside your room, “She has a husband.” Donghae mentioned and he continue, “He beats her like a toy.”, Donghae brush his hair with his hands and sighed heavily, “If this happens again, what will happen to her?” the doctor clear his throat, “With her current state, not just mentally but physically, she might not handle it if the beating gets out of hand.” the doctor said and Donghae nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”

All your brother can think of is to get a lawyer to get a restraining order against your husband, so he can take you home and take care of you. Give you the proper care you need and do his obligation as your brother.

It’s almost evening, Jungkook arrive at the hospital you’re checked in. “I’m looking for patient Jeon Y/N.” the nurse check what room you are in, “May I know your relationship to her?” the nurse asked, “I’m her husband.” Jungkook said, “She’s in room 715.”

Jungkook open the door to your room and he sees you sleeping. He comes to your bedside and sees how peacefully you are resting. The door opens and the nurse enters the room, “Good evening.” the nurse greeted and walks towards you to check your vital signs and breathing, “Um...how is she?” Jungkook asked the nurse, “Right now she’s stable. She just needs a proper rest.” 

“Is her doctor here?” Jungkook asked, “Doctor Lee Hyuk-jae is currently in surgery but I can page him for you. May I know your relationship to his patient so I can address you to him properly?” the nurse asked, “I’m her husband.” Jungkook said. 

Moments after, Doctor Hyuk-jae enters your room. “Good evening, doctor.” your husband greeted, “Good evening.” Doctor Hyuk-jae greeted back, “May I know your concern regarding your wife’s condition?” he asked, “What happened to her?” Jungkook asked while looking at you sleeping, Doctor Hyuk-jae explained to your husband your condition when you arrived at the ER this morning and how your health is affected by stress and depression. 

Jungkook just listened while looking at you and when Doctor Hyuk-jae is finish explaining of what happened to you, tears falls from your husband’s eyes.

That’s it for ‘And I Still Love You’ Chapter One. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it! 

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

The 4 Times Luke Got Sick + The 1 Time He Got Julie Sick

Pairing: Julie x Alive!Luke (college AU)

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: light swearing, non-fatal illness

Summary: Luke was always getting sick. It was probably the worst things about being roommates with him, Julie decided. That, and when they’d first moved into their dorm Freshman year of college he’d tried to hit on all her friends. It seemed like every year the poor guy went through at least one serious bout of illness that Julie would have to practically nurse him back to health from.

A/N: I got 2 anon requests for sick!Juke this week, one for a College Roommates AU where Luke constantly gets sick and Julie takes care of him and another where they’re friends and neighbors but have crushes on each other that don’t come to light until they both get sick together feat. Mothering Rose. I decided to combine them since they had a similar theme, I hope that’s alright! As per usual, let me know what you think and send me a message if you’d like to be added to my taglist! Also, I am taking requests right now so feel free to send those in!

Masterlist

___

1 - Freshman Year

“Juuuulie,” Luke called from his bedroom.

“Whaaaat?” Julie called back from her own room, making no attempt to get up from her bed.

“Can you come here so we can stop yelling?” He whined and she rolled her eyes but rolled out of her bed unceremoniously.

Given the coed nature of the dorms, they were each provided a small separate bedroom connected with a combined living room space that currently could use a good vacuuming, she noted as she walked through it before pausing at Luke’s door. It was only about three months into the semester and while Luke and Julie had become fast friends through their love of music, she hadn’t really been in his room before.

She raised her fist to give a hesitant knock, not really sure what the protocol was.

“You can come in,” he laughed but for the first time in their conversation, Julie noticed that his voice seemed a little off.

When she stepped into the room she immediately knew why. Luke lay in bed, slightly propped up by his pillow. She immediately noticed how red his face and nose, in particular, looked and the pile of used tissues next to the bed.

“Woah, dude, are you sick?” Julie exclaimed, immediately taking a step back in an attempted to put as much distance between herself and the sick boy as possible.

“Yeah,” he croaked sheepishly, “Sorry, I guess I should’ve warned you.”

“Ya think?” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest but smirking to let him know she wasn’t that mad about it. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Um, yeah, actually. I was gonna ask if you could run down to the market and get me some chicken noodle soup?”

Julie nodded, happy to be able to help her sick friend.

“Sure! Is there any medication I can pick up from the pharmacy for you or anything?” She offered but he shook his head, pulling open the top drawer of his bedside table revealing that it was full of various medicines.

“I, uh, came prepared,” he said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “My immune system is pretty shit.”

Julie nodded.

“I better get you that soup then, huh?” She said kindly, starting to feel awkward lingering in the doorway.

“My wallet is in my jacket pocket,” Luke offered, pointing to the coat hanging in his closet.

Julie nodded in silent thanks as she pocketed the piece of leather, closing the door on her way out. Despite the sunshine, it was a short but chilly walk to the campus market, which was fortunately only a couple of blocks away from their residence hall. She located the soup fairly quickly but stopped to look through the tea options, grabbing a box of peppermint and chamomile tea bags. The check-out process was fast and she was back in her dorm only a few minutes later.

Before even taking off her coat or slipping off her shoes, she put the soup in the microwave and started up her electric kettle. While she was waiting she then busied herself with hanging up her coat in her own closet and leaving her shoes in their designated spot by the door.

“What are you doing out there, Molina?” Luke groaned from his room when the kettle started whistling.

She quickly switched it off, bustling around the designated “kitchen” area of their dorm for a mug to start steeping the peppermint tea. No sooner than she placed the teabag into the mug had the microwaved beeped, signaling that the soup was ready. Bowl in one hand and mug in the other, Julie pushed the door open with her shoulder, slowly stepping into the room in an attempt not to spill either of the hot liquids in her hands.

She gingerly set the mug on a cleared space on Luke’s desk before handing him the chicken noodle soup.

“What’s that?” He asked, gesturing to the mug with his spoon before eating some of the soup.

“It’s peppermint tea,” she answered factually. “My mom always makes it for me when I’m sick, it supposed to help with congestion and should soothe your throat.”

“You’re the best, Molina,” Luke said graciously, slurping another mouthful of soup.

“Damn right I am!” Julie laughed, “Let me know if you need anything else, I’ll be in my room.”

___

2 - Sophomore Year

Julie wasn’t entirely sure why she hadn’t anticipated this. Maybe she’d hoped that all the elderberry and echinacea tea she’d made him drink last year had actually helped his immune system, but nope. November had rolled around and with it, cold season and cold season meant that Luke would undoubtedly get sick. He wasn’t lying, his immune system really was shit. This year was worse though. While last year it had been a series of bad colds, this year it was the flu.

She’d found out when he’d vomited in the middle of a rehearsal with the band they’d formed at the end of the previous year with two other guys they’d met in one of their music classes.

She’d been keeping an eye on him all day as he’d been shivering a lot and seemed especially pale but she had figured the boy knew his immune system better than anyone else and would say something if he was feeling sick. Obviously not.

“Oh my gosh, Luke! Are you okay?” She gasped, rushing over to rub his back soothingly as he bent over the trash can in the spare music room they’d occupied for rehearsal.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said, waving her off as he stood back up with the intention of picking his guitar back up.

However, Julie stopped him, placing her hand against his forehead with a frown.

“You have a fever.” She said disapprovingly and he sighed.

“It’s fine Molina, we gotta practice.”

“Nuh-uh.” She insisted sternly, sticking out an arm to hold him in place. “You are not gonna get the rest of us sick. I’m driving you to the campus health center and then we’re going home.”

Luke huffed and rolled his eyes but relented, moving to slide his electric into its case and grab his jacket.

“Whatever you say, boss.”

“We’ll see you guys later,” Julie sent Alex and Reggie an exasperated smile before following the boy out.  

The campus health center confirmed Julie’s suspicions, it was the flu. They picked up his prescription medicine at the campus pharmacy next door before heading back to their shared dorm.

“Will you make me soup?” Luke pleaded as Julie made sure he was settled comfortably in his bed, his lip stuck out in an irrefutable pout. “And Mama Molina’s special tea?”

Julie smiled at the nickname which Luke had coined last year as Julie often referenced her mother when taking care of the seemingly constantly sick boy. The name had stuck and then been made official when the guys had visited her over the summer break and Luke had accidentally called her mother it. Rose Molina fell in love with it instantly and now Luke, Alex, and Reggie all exclusively referred to her as such.

“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes lightly. There was nothing special about Mama Molina’s tea, it was just a cup of peppermint tea with a little bit of honey but it had seemed to work wonders for Luke last year and he much preferred it to the cocktail of cough syrup and sinus pills he’d normally take.

As she delivered the steaming soup and tea, Julie prayed that her superior immune system and flu shot would keep her safe from contracting her roommate’s illness while she took care of him. Still, she tried her best to keep her distance while keeping an eye on him.

She started him on a new Netflix series in an attempt to keep him from going stir crazy in the dorm while she was in class. She picked up all his missing work and made sure he had plenty of soup and tea (peppermint in the daytime to clear up congestion and soothe his cough, and chamomile in the evening to help him sleep).

“You’re too good for me, Molina.” He said sleepily as she tucked him into bed one night.

“I know,” she responded with a smirk, patting his cheek lightly before leaving, turning off the light as she went.

___

3 - Junior Year

Luke’s annual illness came later the next year. All November and December Julie was on high alert, ready at a moment’s notice to grab a can of chicken noodle soup from their cupboards and start up the kettle, but the moment never came. They’d finally moved out of the dorms this year, now living in an off-campus apartment with Alex and Reggie, which meant they had more room for Julie to store her supply of soup and tea and she had two backup caregivers.

When the new year rolled around and Luke still hadn’t shown any signs of getting sick, Julie had remarked,

“Maybe you’ve finally built up your immune system enough.”

The next week Luke was calling for her from his room across the hall.

It was the flu again but this time it was easier.

Julie, Alex, and Reggie took turns taking care of their sick roommate while the others were in classes, though everyone agreed that Julie had to be in charge of the tea. Despite Julie’s insistence that it was easy to make, Alex and Reggie refused after their first attempts had been scorned by Luke who insisted they did it wrong.

“You are such a drama queen,” she’d said, rolling her eyes at the boy as she delivered the tea.

“You’re the best, Molina.” He’d said as he took a sip, ignoring her comment on his dramatics.

“Shut up and drink your tea.” Julie laughed, brushing off the compliment as she turned on Netflix, taking a seat on the other side of the living room.

___

4 - Senior Year

After what all their friends had insisted was years of tension and pining, Luke and Julie got together just in time for Luke to catch pneumonia. It was the worst virus Luke had caught yet and Julie was silently glad that their relationship was new enough that they hadn’t kissed yet. Judging by Luke’s state, she hoped she never got pneumonia.

He had a fever for the first few days and Julie, Alex, and Reggie did their best to keep their distance, only coming into his room to deliver soup, tea, water, and medicine. Once the fever had disappeared, Luke was allowed to rejoin the rest, though only from a distance. The four roommates spending the afternoons in the living room together to keep the boy company as he laid on the couch. Still, even with the fever gone Luke spent the next week and a half nearly hacking up his lungs every time he coughed and with stabbing chest pains.

“You’re not eating your soup,” Julie noticed one afternoon as she did her homework on the opposite side of the living room, Alex and Reggie both in class.

“I’m not hungry,” Luke whined, pushing the bowl farther away on the coffee table.

Julie frowned, getting up from her armchair to perch across from him on the coffee table, picking up the bowl.

“Babe, you’ve gotta eat,” Julie said pointedly and Luke frowned at the term of endearment, knowing she was using it to convince him to do what she said. “The doctor said you’d have a loss of appetite, but you need to eat.”

“C’mon, open up,” she instructed, holding out a spoonful of soup.

Luke huffed, glaring at his girlfriend but opening his mouth anyway, allowing her to spoon-feed him.

“Wow, I did not think Luke could get any needier,” Reggie remarked as he stepped into the apartment, Alex coming in behind him.

“Don’t get used to that,” he added, “Cause I will not feed you while Julie’s in class.”

Julie laughed, ruffling her boyfriend’s hair affectionately before feeding him another spoonful.

“I don’t deserve you, Molina,” he said affectionately between bites.

“Don’t you forget it, Patterson,” she smiled.

___

+ 1 Year Later

After graduation in May, Julie and the Phantoms released their first full album and began their first tour in the fall thanks to the large following they’d accrued through their posts on YouTube since sophomore year and the success of their album. They’d had been touring for a couple of months before they finally took a break, just in time for Christmas.

Alex, Reggie, and Julie had all made plans to spend the break with their families, Reggie staying with his older sister and their family and Alex and Julie with their respective parents. However, Luke’s parents had found themselves on a business trip out of the country which is how the boy ended up spending his first Christmas at the Molina’s. Ray and Rose had been more than happy to have the boy stay with them when Julie explained the situation, though Ray had insisted on a strict policy of the two never being alone in the same room before Rose reminded him that Julie and Luke had been living together for five years and were grown adults.

The Molinas and Luke had a lovely Christmas together but when Julie woke up two days later she wished they had instituted her dad’s No Alone Time policy. She groggily made her way to the kitchen, rifling through the pantry for the peppermint tea to soothe her sore throat and hopefully clear up her sinuses. Before she could get very far though, her mom walked into the kitchen, immediately catching on to what she was doing. Julie rarely reached for tea on her own, hot chocolate being her hot beverage of preference, so Rose knew something must be up when she found her daughter rifling through the tea shelf.

“Go lay on the couch, Niña,” she insisted, ushering her daughter out of the kitchen, “I’ll take care of this.”

Julie did as she said, finding her favorite blanket from the basket in the corner and cuddling up on the couch. Her mom came in a few minutes later with her favorite mug in hand, setting it down on the coffee table in front of Julie.

“Don’t burn yourself, it’s hot,” Rose warned, placing a soft kiss on the top of her daughter’s head and patting her shoulder gently before returning to the kitchen to start on breakfast for the family.

It was only a couple of minutes later that Luke stumbled down the stairs calling her name.

“Juuuulie?” he pouted as he made his way into the living room. “Will you make me some tea?”

Her eyes went wide with the realization of how she’d gotten sick as she clutched her own mug of tea in her hands.

“So this is your fault,” she gasped, voice thick due to the congestion.

“What?” Luke asked, tilting his head in confusion, the fogginess in his brain from having just woken up and being sick preventing him from connecting the dots quickly.

“You got me sick.” She accused, narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend who’s eyes widened in response.

“Oh my gosh, seriously?” He asked, concern immediately filling his voice. “I’m sorry Jules.”

“I haven’t gotten sick in over four years and all it takes is one germy kiss from you,” she whined and Luke barked out a laugh before wincing at the pain it caused his throat.

“Well, the good news is we can recover together,” he said, plopping down on the couch and snuggling into her side.

“Luke, honey, do you need a blanket?” Rose asked as she returned to the living room, another cup of tea in hand, the woman obviously having overheard them from the kitchen. Luke nodded sheepishly and Rose smiled, setting the tea down in front of him and crossing the room to grab a blanket.

“Thank you, Mama Molina,” he said graciously, wrapping himself in the fleece material and picking up his tea.

“Anything to get the two of you better before you have to go back on tour,” she said, patting both their shoulders lovingly before going back to her cooking.

Julie groaned at the reminder. They were supposed to start back on the road in a week, but with Luke’s track record of illnesses, there was no knowing how long either of them would be sick this time.

Fortunately, thanks to a diet of Rose’s homemade chicken noodle soup and tea remedy as well as medication, Julie and Luke were feeling better in a couple of days.

“I’d always known, but now I really see where you got your nursing skills from,” Luke remarked on the first morning he’d woken up able to breathe through his nose.

Julie grinned.

“You sure are lucky to have the Molina women in your life,” she teased.

“Damn right.” He nodded sincerely.

___

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx @morganayennefertyrell

[yoonia]

About Time // Part 19

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words | Angst, Fluff, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), Eventual Smut / 13,5k words

↳ Prompts | “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary | Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Ratings | Mature/+18 and up

↳ Warnings | this chapter contains multiple smut scenes: involving public sex, first time sex, thigh riding, explicit scene of sexual intercourse and intense foreplay (finger fucking, f receiving), mentions of cancer, (probably) inaccurate medical and law terms

↳ Author’s Note | If you find a few scenes within this chapter that seem a bit familiar, perhaps it’s because you have read it before in a different form. The final scene for this chapter was taken from a short drabble that I created during a muse game for this story, with a few adjustments on the scene itself to make it seem more fitting into the timeline. I do hope you’ll enjoy this one. I know there are lots of you who have been waiting for this moment to come :) 

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Series Index: About Time | Next Chapter ⇢

Song Companion | Live - Lightning Crashes

—Present life, year 2017—

Jimin had become silent ever since the two of us left the pub. But my mind had never been so loud as it was at the moment and it had been this way since I stepped out of that place, leaving behind the memory of his altercations with Jungkook earlier.

Questions after questions kept coming while the events and pieces of the conversation they shared back at the pub continued to replay themselves inside my head.

While Jimin kept his eyes locked on the road, his posture was tense and his grip on the wheel remained hard and tight that I could see his knuckles turning white. I could even begin to faintly hear the sound of its leather cover cracking and pulling beneath his palms. Yet I kept quiet beside him, letting my mind wander as I had my eyes looking away and out the window. I had no idea what to say to him or how to react, while at the same time, I was trying to ignore the way his tension and rage kept rolling out of him in waves as he drove us further and further away from the pub.

Between being afraid that any word I said would come out with accusations, or perhaps being called crazy if I should talk to him about my predicament or to hurt him if I admitted to him why I kept being pulled to Jungkook for some reason, I decided to give him some time and space to calm down. Hoping that maybe once he did, he would be able to talk about it and I would be able to question him.

The silence thickened as each second ticked by, until a deep sigh came out of him, breaking the stillness that had grown between us.

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly said to me. His voice was soft, and I could feel his remorse lathering every word he said that I could not help but to turn to look at him.

“Sorry? What for?”

He gave me a rueful smile as he glanced my way, briefly, before looking back on the road. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. I shouldn’t have let him rile me up the way he did.” He sighed. “I must have ruined the mood for tonight.”

I opened my mouth, ready to argue and try to make him feel better. But I held my tongue, knowing that the words might come out wrong and I would probably be pushing his guilt further instead of urging him to move on.

Shaking my head, I told him all that I could say at the moment. “It’s—whatever. It’s fine,” I said, even though there was a huge part of me that begged to understand. But must this night be filled with wondering and analysing things?

Did I really want to know the answers?

Did I really want to know what those words meant? The words Jungkook said which had brought out dizziness that silenced everything running through my head at the point of hearing it?

I may have said that it didn’t matter, but my mind betrayed me by voicing out the questions once again.

Why would he say something like that? Why did they seem to hate each other? Have they met before aside from the night I introduced them together? Or did they know each other before?

Thankfully, neither of those questions had ever slipped my mouth. It was close enough to, but his soft chuckled came out before I could speak and it was enough to silence the voices in my head. Especially when this time, the small smile he was giving me finally reached his eyes even if I could still see his remorse coming out clearer in them. “I promise. I’m not always like this,” he said. He took a hand off of the wheel and rubbed his palm over his face.

My chest tightened when I saw the distress on his face, and the words just came spilling right out of me before ie realised it.

“I know you’re not.”

His eyes grew wide at my words and his gaze came back to me before his smile returned a bit wider. And he was giving me the one smile that was familiar to my eyes, one that was honest and free. The same exact smile that had me falling in love with him in a different lifetime. With its presence, my heart clenched tight the same exact way it did the first time I fell for him. It felt stricken with longing and despair, while at the same time, it was making me feel warm inside.

“And how would you know that?” he asked me.

While there were lots of different answers that I could choose from, one of them being something which could reveal the secrets that I had been keeping away from him, I held my tongue once again. Keeping things to myself before I could ruin this moment.

But I didn’t hold back from reaching out. I rested my hand on his thigh as I whispered with a sigh, “Because I know you, Jimin.”

I felt his body growing tense under my touch for a brief moment, before he easily softened into my touch. So I carried on, telling him what I needed him to hear. Something that according to my memory was the one thing that I had failed to say to him.

“I know that you are not a violent person or anyone who has any vile intentions,” I told him, while images of Jimin confronting Jungkook at the pub blended together with the sight of him fighting Jungkook at a hospital, something that had come into my dreams more than once. “Anyone else would snap when confronted and riled up the same way it did to you. I’m not putting the blame on anyone but the situation, but you had handled it really well.”

His shoulders fell down with relief and I felt lighter, glad to be able to somewhat reassure him and change the mood after he was feeling down ever since we left. Before I could pull my hand away, Jimin placed his hand on mine and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you for believing in me.”

Laughing a little, I squeezed his hand in return and tried to lighten the mood further. “Now, I also believe that someone had promised me a good night.”

He chuckled without looking away from the road. Though his eyes glistened with a promise and hope in them. “That I did,” he hummed softly, taking my hand to his lips. He pressed a kiss on my wrist before letting me rest my palm on his thigh once again. “I’m taking you to a place that I know you would love. At least, I hope you would.”

“I trust you. As long as I’m with you, I know I’d be happy,” I told him truthfully, knowing that it was exactly how I felt whenever I was with him.

The conversation felt lighter once Jimin had gotten everything that was bothering him out of his chest.

As he continued to drive, we talked about how the whole day went—about his day in campus and his practice, about my job interview and the day I spent with his cousin—sans the part about my meeting with Taehyung since we avoided bringing up any event regarding the pub earlier once again.

The drive felt far and long. The night was getting late, yet I didn’t mind being out so late at all when he made me feel completely safe when I was with him. This trip reminded me of the night he took me out to the city park on new year’s eve, where he took me up to the hill overlooking the city. Except that I knew the destination we were heading tonight was going to be further away from the place where he first kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend.

It seemed like a long time ago when in fact only months had passed since then. It sure felt like I had been with Jimin for a lifetime when everything just seemed right when we were together.

I kept my hand resting on his lap as he drove on, letting him brush against it once or twice as we talked during the drive. The city passed by alongside us. We had somehow passed the main roads from the city and into the highway, and he kept on driving until the city lights became few and far in between, the buildings that had filled our view out the window were replaced by trees. Then he drove out of the highway, until we were surrounded by nothing but dirt and rock and the asphalt road slowly turned into gravel pathways with scrub bushes lining up on our sides.

“Where are we?” I asked him curiously as the terrain we were passing by turned rough, joined by a few bumps over ruts and ridges as we drove away from the main road and the path started to ascend to a higher altitude.

“Someplace quiet,” he simply said, giving me a secretive smile as the mirth in his eyes grew stronger.

I should be worried or concerned to find us driving to a strange place outside of town. But I only grew curious. The excitement came over me just as the road in front of us cleared out to an opening. The car had been driving further up until we reached to a certain plateau located right at the top of the rocky hills, way higher than the place he had once taken me to look over the cityscape. Way higher than any place that we had ever gone to. As Jimin slowed the car to a halt, I looked out to see the lines of trees and the edge of the cliff opening up to a broad sky over the horizon, the blanket of city lights covering the lower ground was nothing compared to the bright night sky above and the sparkling stars that seemed to welcome our presence.

“It’s not perfect or glorious, but I know that this is the place that you would love the most. A high place, quiet, where you could watch the wide sky above and the stars painting the sky—”

Before he could finish his sentence, I turned to him, finishing his words with a grateful smile and with my heart swelling in warmth, “—an open space where I could breathe the clean, fresh air.”

He turned to look at me. The warm gaze he was giving me spoke a thousand words. The questions were still there, hanging right at the tip of my tongue, but I brushed them away.

Enjoy the moment, I remembered Taehyung said. Enjoy the present. You will find your answers there.

“You were right. You knew exactly what I’d love.”

Jimin leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. His kiss was gentle but enough to bring forth the heat in my belly to want more. But he pulled back before I could have my fill, handing me a blanket to carry.

“Come. We haven’t seen the best part of it yet.”

My eyes grew wide. “We haven’t? You mean there’s more other than you taking me to a secluded place where you could hide me and nobody would find my body?”

Jimin’s head fell back as he laughed. “That sounds tempting, though you were right about this place being secluded,” he said, teasing me with another kiss that was gentle and chaste, letting me have a quick taste with a promise for more. “It’ll be nobody here but us.”

“I bet,” I whispered against his lips. I brushed my hands on the blanket he gave me, just as he reached for another that seemed thick enough for us to lay on top of. “Don’t tell me that we’re going to camp out.”

“Close, but not quite. I remember promising you dinner too,” he teased, giving me a wink before he reached out to the backseat, pulling a whole bag of groceries onto his lap, filled with snacks, chocolate bars, two bottles of mineral water, and best of all, microwave heated mini-market bought lunchboxes. “Our fancy dinner.”

I laughed and kissed him on his cheek. “Perfect.”

This side of the mountains would probably have been scorching hot under the sunlight if Jimin had taken me here during the daytime.

Tonight, however, the sky was clear enough to show all the bright stars overhead. The air was a bit cold and windy, but not so much that it would make me wish we were cuddled up inside his warm car instead of out here in the open air.

Jimin kept a tight hold of my hand as he led me tramping around the landed bushes, jumping over and around a few rocks that we came upon on our path, before we reached the embankment that Jimin had pointed out to when we first arrived in this place. Jimin climbed ahead and pulled me up with him. There was a flat rock on the top, wide enough for us to sit and lie down on, and safe enough to set out our small picnic without being afraid of getting too close to the edge.

This far high up, I could see the plateau over the edge, a wide flat space between hills and valleys, with sparkles of lights coming from the houses and small buildings located down there. I was filled with all nerves and anticipation, the joy of being up and above was mixed together with the fear of falling. But then I looked up at Jimin, and it made me feel all better knowing that we were here together. That he would be there by my side, ready to catch me before I could ever fall down.

We straightened the blanket on top of the flat rock and laid back, looking up at the sky above.

Being there under all of those stars made me feel small and insignificant, as if everything that I had to face and deal with, all the concerns I have had, they all meant nothing. Just a small blip in the universe. A mystery to unfold but never a necessity as we continued to exist.

As if being thrust back into the past had no significant value compared to everything else in this whole universe.

Being under the wide open space overlooking a small part of the universe really brought me to look at things in a new perspective, and suddenly, everything that Taehyung had told me finally made sense.

There was no point in dwelling in the past or the future that had been supposedly written for me or what I was trying to rewrite for myself. What mattered was now, this moment. I looked to my side to find Jimin lying on his side, looking at me. While it felt like I was the only person in the world when I looked up at the sky with all of my concerns weighing me down, looking at him made me feel less lonely. We could be the only two people in the world, and I found there was no need to change any of it all.

“You have that look again,” he mused softly, holding back a smile as he kept his eyes on me.

“What look?”

The smile broke through, and his eyes were filled with mirth when he answered, “The kind of look that tells me you are overanalysing things that are happening.”

I couldn’t help but return his smile, all while holding back from leaning in and kissing his plump lips the way I wanted to. “Do I make that look a lot?”

He merely shrugged. “Sometimes. I’d usually let you because I like seeing all the expression you make.”

There was an emotional tug happening inside my chest. I had gotten used to it at this point to know that it only happened whenever he was around. Whenever I was with him.

“Didn’t know that you’ve been pretty observant,” I could only muse as he grew closer. Our shoulders touching as he leaned in.

“It’s not hard,” he said. “All I had to do was pay attention. A lot of attention. And it’s easy to do that when I’m with you.” He licked his lips when he stopped talking, looking down on mine before meeting my gaze again. “You’re the only one I want to look at the whole time.”

Everything around us was dark, but for some reason, I could still see his face, as if the moonlight and all the stars above had served like multiple spotlights to illuminate him for me. He was probably seeing my face the same way, with limited lights helping him to find me. I could feel his warm breath before I noticed just how much closer he was.

“Will I miss if I try to kiss you right now?” he jokingly whispered to me when his lips were practically brushing against mine already.

I couldn’t help the laughter that came out so easily. “It is pretty dark around here,” I told him, whispering as I tried to reach out, finding his jaw with the tip of my fingers. The night did seem to grow darker at this point. Or perhaps it didn’t feel this way before when he weaved his way through the pathway, using only the flashlight from his phone to guide us. “Should I reach for the flashlight?”

He hummed. “There is no need,” he whispered, before pressing his lips at the tip of my nose. “I can always find you, even in the dark.” Then his lips finally found mine, and I welcomed him with a sigh as I sank down against him on top of the blanket.

His mouth felt like home. His kiss was warm, enough to help me forget about all of my concerns, all of the questions that had been circling in my head. None of them mattered anymore, when he was here, he was real, his hands moving gently up and down the curves and lines on my body over my soft sweater while he slowly pulled me to him, deepening the kiss in the process.

I was breathless when he pulled away, giving me a moment to take a deep breath and control my heartbeat. My palms had somehow found their way onto his chest, pressing down on where his heartbeat was pacing to the touch and the warmth we shared.

The wind blew across the valley, passing us both to remind us about the cool night air. So he pulled another blanket around us, covering us both from the chill autumn breeze. Only to have me grounded further later as he swiftly moved on top of me, his mouth making a trail of kisses from my lips, down to my jawline, then he slowed down as he traced the column of my throat.

His hand made its way to the hem of my sweater, tugging and pulling before he pulled it up so he could touch my bare belly beneath it. While his hand kept tracing upward, finding the elastic band of my bra, his lips continued tracing downward. He laid his head on my chest for a moment, closing his eyes as he listened to my heartbeat. He looked up to me after a moment and he kept his gaze on me when he pressed his lips on my covered breasts, capturing the covered tip between his mouth, releasing it when I sighed only to move to the other.

Weaving my fingers through the strands of his hair, I arched my back, giving him more as his hand slid in and tweaked a nipple from beneath my sweater. In a flashing moment, my sweater was gone, and nothing was getting in the way for him to finally taste my skin. I cried out as his fingers and his mouth worked together, pinching and biting, tuning my whole body as if he knew just which buttons to touch, to play with, to tweak, just to thrust me into the peak of my pleasure.

It didn’t take long before he brought me there, surges of bliss rushing all over my body, centered right at my core where the pulse felt the strongest, where the heat of my body pooled together into a puddle.

His eyes found me again when he brushed away the lacy front of my bra, pushing it down so he could reach more skin. My body was moving against his, my hips rolling in circles in the same rhythm as the pulse that kept rising between my legs. With my legs spread, I pressed my center against his thigh, searching for release by brushing myself against him and I could feel his muscles tensing against me as he pressed himself back to me for a short moment before he continued to move down. My fingers had somehow found their way back through his hair, where I clutched him tight, keeping him close to me at all times even as he was crawling down on me.

His lips spoke of promises and sin, and he revels in the sounds I was making to every bit of ministration he was giving me.

I felt it through his warm breath that came trailing down my skin as he continued climbing lower, his grunts coming out softly with each kiss he gave on my skin. His fingers kept dancing down my curves, as if he wanted to engrave every inch of my skin into his mind, even all the goosebumps that came out from the mixture of his warmth and the cold air around us.

He kissed his way down along my hip bone, his hands were getting busy to unbutton my jeans, freeing me further from any restraints. I lifted my hips when he tugged the waistband lower, only so that he could push my pants away. He swiftly moved his hand between my legs, delving into my panties, until he finally found the source of my pulsing heat.

His fingers danced their way down teasingly at my mound, before he found the cleft and gently spread them open for him, letting him touch me where I needed him the most. His fingers moved around the bundle of nerves hiding between my folds, circling around it until I could hear the slickness of my arousal as he gathered every drop with the tip of his fingers. Each gentle brush he gave sent fireworks through my body, the pleasure kept on rising more and more.

I cried out when he pushed a finger against the slick opening. His thumb pressing down on my throbbing clit as he inched deeper, pushing slowly through the pulsing walls. I barely felt him pushing my jeans and panties lower, exposing me to him. Then his soft tongue licked down between my folds, tasting my essence just as he continued to work his fingers inside my walls to make me release more.

“Jimin!” I called out when he took my swelling clit between his mouth, doing it so before I felt a hint of pressure when he added a finger into my pussy, pushing in and pumping softly. He stopped when he found restraint, pulling back only to push back and reach further inside, letting my walls clench tight around his digits.

“Relax for me, baby,” he grunts against my hot cunt, placing his free hand on my belly to push my hips back down when I had been pushing myself up against his mouth, tensing my muscles at the same time.

Opening my eyes to look down, I found him looking at me with a heated gaze. Hunger and lust were mixed together with the kind of look which had my heart turning warm. I released a deep exhale and let my body relax beneath him.

“Good girl,” he whispered to me, before he came back down, planting his mouth right between my legs again and expertly finding my clit for him to devour. “Now, don’t hold back on me, love. Let go and let me taste you.”

With that, his mouth came back to my nether lips, another finger came to join the others as he worked them in and out of my pussy, sending my legs trembling around his head, my fingers tightening on his hair to hold him down. My hips moved in circles, swivelling and dancing with the same rhythm he made on me to chase the surge of pleasure that continued to rise.

He kissed, licked, bit, all the while pumping his digits continuously against the sweet spot right through the hot entrance of my cunt, and I was instantly thrust into the edge. My climax came to me like a wave of warmth slowly building from my center and flowing around my body. Enveloping me with pure pleasure that had me screaming out into the wind.

A whisper of the cold breeze came upon me just as I shuddered into his mouth, an instant reminder of where we were.

I opened my eyes just as I had his fingers locked tight inside me, my pussy clenching him tight, his mouth locking tight around my clit. As I saw the ocean of stars above our heads, a surreal moment came upon me. It felt like I was flying high, drunk in pleasure and bliss with the stars around us and the moonlight lighting us both.

The sinful thought of him pleasuring me under the wide sky above and of being exposed to the universe pushed me back into another climax, thrusting me off the precipice of my orgasm that I couldn’t even cry out for it being too much for me to handle.

With a gasping sound, I embraced the pure pleasure. Letting myself to be brought up high with his touch, feeling free and elated at the same time as my orgasm came to me in smooth spasms, humming through my body, giving me the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt in the world.

Once the spasms of my release waned down to a shiver, Jimin gathered me in his arms. His touches soothed me as he gently tugged my jeans back in place. He pressed his kisses on my skin as he pulled my sweater back down, covering me from the cold.

“Should I get you warm? Or should I take you home?” he whispered, his lips brushing on my temple before he looked down at me, his eyes glinting with his desire. The haze in my head dissipated under the one word that had me clutching his shirt tight, anchoring him to me to let me know that I was not dreaming.

Home.

Glimpses of my dreams came back to me just then, and once again, I was swamped by a flood of warmth. Hope and love filled my heart, and the answer was clear.

“Take me home.”

—Present life. Jimin’s Apartment, year 2017—

His studio apartment had always felt warm and cozy.

But this night, it felt different. The good kind of different. No matter how often I had spent my time here, sleeping here almost every night instead of back in my dorm, it never truly felt like home unless he was there with me, holding me tight to him. Because he was my home. And though this place was every bit of his, I would still need him as my anchor.

Over the past few months, I had been leaving my things behind, marking my territory in his apartment. Tonight, as we entered his home with his arms wrapped around me, his kisses distracting me from looking around us, I found that the air was filled with the scent of my perfume. It washed over me so suddenly that I broke away from the kiss only to glance around, making sure that we were actually in the right place.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he whispered huskily as he caught my jawline with his mouth simply because he couldn’t stay away.

“Nothing,” I whispered in return, pressing my palms on his chest as I looked around for a few more seconds, sighing dreamily as I caught the sight of the foot of his bed on the far corner before finally letting myself melt into him. “I just—”

I looked up to him, catching his eyes looking down at me with wonders in them. “Your room smells like me.”

Jimin chuckled. “It does. And I love it,” he whispered, giving me a soft peck on the lips before he sheepishly confessed, “Sometimes, when you’re not sleeping here, I’d spray a bit of your perfume into my pillows so it would feel like you were there. I let your perfume sticks around more than mine because I want to feel your presence here.”

I gave him a dubious look. “Oh, Jimin,” I laughed. “That sounds a tad bit creepy yet also endearing I don’t even know how to feel.”

He laughed with me, his head falling back when he did. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

I placed a palm on his cheek, urging him to look at me again before I could kiss his cheek. “I actually like the fact that I’ve marked your place not only with my things but with everything else too.”

He caught my lips in his for a brief moment. “You’re welcome to do more than marking,” he said, suddenly looking a bit hesitant to continue.

“Really?” I asked him, teasingly feigning innocence to him. “Is this your way of asking me to move in with you?”

His lips twitched but he held back his smile. “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

His grin slowly came back, even if his eyes kept glancing away with uncertainty before he finally spoke. “Move in with me.”

I felt my eyes sting. There was something about all of this that made me want to cry. Like there was something inside me that was slowly coming together. Which was why the answer came out easily. “I’d love to. My home is with you, Jimin.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, his gentle smile came back onto his face and I couldn’t stop myself from brushing my lips over his. The quick peck on his lips turned into a hungry kiss when he pressed me tightly against him and kissed me back. I felt his chest rumbling with a deep grunt just as my knees started to turn into jelly. What held me up were his arms around me, keeping me pressed to him before I could even attach my arms around him.

“Take me to bed, Jimin,” I said, breaking the kiss with a sigh.

When I pulled back to pull him into his bedroom, he groaned and refused to let me go. With his arms tightening around my waist, he carried me up, making me kick off my shoes and wrap my legs around his waist as he began to take me into the bedroom, hastily kissing my lips on the way there.

Jimin was almost breathless when he laid me down onto the bed, then climbed up to follow me after kicking his own shoes off. He didn’t wait long before capturing my lips on his again, pinning me right at the center of his bed as if he was afraid I would run away.

“Are you tired?” he asks me softly as he nipped on my jawline, giving me a moment to breathe.

“Kinda. Why?”

He sighed. “I just—you are so irresistible.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Who? Me?”

Instead of answering me, he lowered his head, kissing the side of my neck and I felt all the goosebumps forming on my skin. It was almost the same as they did when he touched me under the clear night sky. Except that it was no longer windy and I was still terribly sensitive to every touch he gave me. “I want to make love to you so bad,” he whispered, not bothering to wait until I responded when he bit down playfully on the exposed skin right above the neckline of my sweater.

He splayed his hand on my stomach, the warmth of his touch seeping through my sweater. Then his hand slipped under the hem, stroking my bare skin, sending tremors through me as he reminded me of how he touched me before.

“You already gave me so much pleasure and made me cum under the stars,” I said to him, my voice shaking and breathless as I arched against his palm.

“I certainly did—” he said, giving me a lazy grin. There was a hint of pride glowing in his eyes, no doubt reminiscing on how he brought me up to bliss right at the top of the hills, where only he and I existed.

Already, my body grew hot with need, calling him to touch me again. His delicate fingers tracing along my belly and up to my breasts felt good, but it was nothing compared to when he slid his fingers down, drifting lower until he could slide under the waistband of my jeans and under my panties so effortlessly as if he already knew every curve and every ridge of my body to find his way.

Jimin pressed his lips at my ear, nibbling gently as he pressed his fingers into my folds, spreading me open. My breath became a rush of short pants as I rocked into his touch and he began stroking me, giving me long, firm thrusts that sent electric shocks up my spine and liquified my bones almost instantly. My hips rolled against his hand and the pleasure peaked incredibly fast, as I was still too sensitive after the intense pleasure he gave me tonight, after what we had shared back on the rocks, after what he made me feel. My panties were still wet, and it was about to get even more drenched as he kept touching me with all the right ways he knew just exactly how to.

“Oh god—” I moaned while my body kept moving on its own accord, seeking release to the mounting pleasure rising inside me. “Jimin, please—”

“So sweet. You always look so pretty when you cum. When you release your climax on my fingers or my tongue,” he murmured while scraping his teeth on my skin, tasting me. “I want you so bad, _____.”

He pushed his fingers inside, pressing his thumb on my clit, and I gasped and shuddered as white pleasure came shooting through me. It came in waves, much softer than the one he gave me before, but it was still enough to send my body quaking in his arms. As I came down, I found myself lying on my back. Jimin was hovering on top of me, licking his fingers clean with a few soft moans rumbling from deep within his throat. Each sound he made rocked something inside me that I felt the urge to touch him.

So I pulled him down on me, kissing his lips hungrily before muttering softly. “Take me, Jimin.”

I kissed him again before he could say a thing, relishing on the taste of his mouth on mine. He had been giving me so much pleasure that I wanted to give it all back to him, to get him naked and vulnerable the same way he did to me on the rocks, or any other times I was with him. The idea of touching him until he would be lost in his pleasure sent shivers down my body. I remembered the beautiful look on his face that he would make when he embraced his pleasure, the wonder in his eyes and the smile that it brought him, and I wanted to see it all again.

Then he suddenly pulled back, his eyes lost in wonders already as he took me in silently. His eyes looking so dark and deep that I felt him embracing me with his gaze.

“What are you thinking?” My voice was hoarse, already deeply affected by him.

“I’m thinking—” he whispered, licking his lips as he ran his gaze down on me one last time before meeting my eyes again. “—that I’m going to take off your clothes, piece by piece.” He reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear, something that I had found to be the small gesture that he loved to do when he touched me, then trailed his fingers down my neck, feeling my pulse pacing beneath his fingertips.

“I’ll kiss you everywhere, taste every inch of your bare skin. And then I’m going to sink inside you so deep you will remember me being a part of you.” His palm rested on my cheek and he leaned in. His eyes were hooded when he looked at me, letting me see the clear desire burning in them when he whispered huskily, “And then, when you come, I’ll make you feel so good that the only thing coming out of your lips would be my name. In fact, I’ll make sure that everyone will hear you when you call my name as I make you come.”

“Jimin—”

My heart raced inside my chest. My whole body was throbbing with excitement, but there was a bit of fear between them as well. I have waited for this moment for a long time, yet the fear of making all the same mistakes, the fear of losing him, everything had always come together to send me to the borders of pain that were so intense that I had always kept holding back.

And now, as he kept telling me everything he wanted to do to me, all the sinful things he wanted to show me as he showed me what he truly felt for me, I knew then that I needed him more than ever.

Jimin lowered his mouth to my exposed neck when I couldn’t find the will to speak, sucking on my pulse, pulling me back to the present while chasing away all of my fears. I knew that I loved him. I always had. And every kiss that he gave me reminded me of that feeling, while he showed me just how much I could trust him. With every kiss he gave me, I slowly began to relax, relishing on the gentle current of pleasure that was beginning to grow stronger inside me I could no longer feel anything but.

His hands dropped to the hem of my sweater and skimmed up to my ribs. As promised, despite the filthy thoughts he placed into my head, he was gentle. Moving so slowly while never looking away, keeping his gaze on my face, on my eyes, as he continued to read through my expression to see if he was crossing the line that I was not ready to go over. That was when I knew that he would always take care of me, just like every single time we were together.

Through my memories, I knew that he had always put me first above all else. The days that I had spent with him had always shown me that he was still the same, so I trusted him for putting me first tonight as he reached up, caressing my breasts through the flimsy fabric of my bra.

His gentle touch played with my mounds until I felt a tight ache forming right at both tips, while at the same time, his kisses traced my pulse along my neck, sending heat pooling between my legs.

“I love touching you like this,” he whispered, making me moan as he slipped my bra down and his hands were on my bare breasts, stealing my breath as he pinched the nipples one at a time. With his touch, the electric currents I felt instantly picked up, rising from my breasts and down to my core.

Then he started peeling my clothes off—my sweater, my bra, making good of his words while kissing every inch of skin that was exposed to his eyes. His lips were soft against my skin when he returned after tossing my clothes away, making me sigh at the connection as he kept climbing down to my chest. But as he licked at the tip of my breast, taking a nipple into his mouth to suck, I arched into his mouth, wanting him to take more.

His hands traced down as he continued to nibble on my sensitive bud and tugged at my jeans. Through my hazy mind, I felt him pulling them off and down my legs, together with my panties, until I was finally completely bare beneath him.

He bent over me, kissing his way down, brushing his lips over my belly, lightly tracing his hot kisses until he reached to my thighs.

“Jimin—I need to touch you,” I whispered, reaching out to his shoulders to let him know just how much I needed to feel his body on mine.

He looked up to me with hooded eyes and a lazy grin. He pushed himself up and began to drag his shirt off, revealing his bare chest to me. He stepped back and climbed off of the bed so he could slide his jeans down his hips together with his briefs, and I immediately lost my train of thoughts. His cock jumped up, bumping against his belly when he straightened himself up. The sight of his length bare and twitching made my core throb. I knew he could see what he did to me when his grin returned and he stroke himself for me.

Jimin opened his eyes to the sound of my soft moan, locking his gaze on mine, giving me his devastating half-smile when he saw me reacting to the sight of him touching himself. He reached over to grab a condom from his pocket, deftly tearing the foil open and swiftly slipping it on before coming back to me.

He leaned over me, stretching his body over mine, and my mind went blank for a moment before I blinked and realised that it was truly happening. His arousal that was pressing hot against my belly became proof that this was real. That he was real.

“You have no idea how beautiful you look, lying naked under me,” he softly whispered, brushing his mouth over my cheek, my jaw, then coming back onto my lips. “Are you sure you want this? Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I want you, Jimin. I want this,” I practically begged him, whining when he pulled back and his lips left my skin.

I’ve wanted this for so long. The words rang inside my head, but I bit my lips to stop myself from saying it out loud. But he must have seen something in my eyes that was telling him just how much I meant every word I said, because I felt it when he finally let go every bit of his inhibitions, and something else grew in his gaze.

Looking deep into my eyes, Jimin made me a promise that had me almost crying. “I’ll be careful. And do things gently so I won’t hurt you.”

Blinking the tears away, I reached out to cup his face. “I’m not made of glass, Jimin.”

He smiled, looking both sad and relieved when he sighed and whispered, “I know you’re not.”

Jimin kissed me again, taking it slowly and gently this time. Then he was pressing into me, his hand reaching between us to guide himself at the center of my heat. He kept whispering my name as he slowly pushed in, spreading me apart as he slid deeper, stopping briefly to kiss my lips to distract me right before he suddenly gave a little push, filling me up entirely with his girth. It was shocking and painful and amazing at the same time that I couldn’t even make a sound. The only thing that came out of my lips was a breathless cry, and my body arched towards him instead of moving away. Soothing me from the shock, Jimin began kissing my neck, my breasts, my mouth, until I finally began to relax and the pain began to fade. I felt full and hyperaware of his existence inside. The thought of our bodies joining together made me clench around him tightly. As if my body wanted to keep him there.

“How are you doing?” he asked me, his voice sounded strained as he held very still on top of me, afraid to move and to hurt me by moving too soon.

But I was no longer hurting.

As the pulsing pain began to form into something else entirely new, something else that felt wonderful, I gave him a reassuring smile to stop him from worrying. “I’m okay. You can continue now.”

My answer made him chuckle, then he exhaled softly before beginning to shift. His hands were pressing onto the bed, then one moved to my hips to hold me as he began pulling out, pushing back inside, moving steadily slow at first before the muscles inside my walls allowed him to move more easily.

“You feel so good, ______. So fucking good around me,” he grunted, and his pace began to pick up.

With each drag of his hardness inside me, the pleasure mounted gradually. A throbbing, maddening pulse began to rise from the depth of my core, rising along with the pressure coiling around my middle, sending me breathless, my brain was muddled as it was thrust into a certain height of bliss.

As my body adjusted and I was slowly getting used to the rising rush of pleasure, my hips were lifted against him and I clutched at his back, drawing him deeper inside.

“Fucking hell, _______,” he cursed as I clenched, gritting his teeth before he increased his pace, pumping his cock in and out of me more frantically until my head spin and his body grew tight against me.

He was close, I could feel it. Just as I was coming close to my own end.

Kissing me again, Jimin tried to make it last by kissing my nipples, my neck, taking my mouth again to swallow the moans that I didn’t even realise I was making. I must have been calling for his name in the midst of crying in pleasure because I could feel him smiling into the kiss.

“You drive me fucking crazy, _____,” he whispered against my mouth while continuing to work on his hips, pounding gently into me even though his pace had grown more rapidly than it did before. “I don’t know how long I could last. You’re so tight around me.”

“I—I think I’m close. Come together with me, Jimin.”

He thrust his cock inside me again and again, every time he came back it felt better than the last when the tip of his shaft pushed through my walls until he reached so deep, right the hilt. Jimin let out a moan and rolled his hips while I continued to move mine, chasing him and chasing our release together.

He rocked inside me, going as deep as he could reach until I cried out his name. I clenched tight around his cock and he pounded straight into me, hitting all the right spots, sending me jolts of pleasure with each thrust which then became my undoing.

Sparks came shooting up from my core just as he began twitching between my clenching walls. The feeling of him quaking inside me set me on fire. The flame of my pleasure burning me deep inside before I finally plunged over the edge. My orgasm must have triggered his own to come, as the moment I cried out his name with each intense pulse of my climax, he erupted inside me and into the condom with a deep groan, a soft whimper following behind as the spasms of his release rocked him to the core.

It took a while until the waves of my climax began to come down into smaller spasms. It took his soft touches and his gentle kisses to bring me back, to help me open my eyes until I saw him. Somehow, I must have blacked out. Because he was already lying on my side, his heartbeat still rapid as I rested my head on his chest, while my own body was still humming with the remnants of my climax.

“Are you okay, baby?”

I closed my eyes, refusing to let my tear drop when the first thing he did after our first lovemaking was to make sure that I was doing alright. Sighing contently, I looked up to his face and gave him a smile.

“That was amazing,” I whispered to him, pressing my lips on his bare chest while pressing my body tightly against him, just so I could feel his warmth around me.

I felt his lips brushing against my temple. “I didn’t hurt you?” he asked me as he tilted my chin up, making me return his gaze.

“No, it felt so good.” I swallowed deeply, making sure that my voice would stay steady when I said the words that had been hanging right at the tip of my tongue ever since the moment he claimed me. “I love you, Jimin.”

He sighed deeply. “I love you too, _____,” he whispered. Then he kissed my lips, gently, before finally letting me go once he realised just how exhausted I was. “Go to sleep, _____. I’ll be here when you wake up,” he promised me, kissing my face as he bid me goodnight and started pulling the blanket to cover our bodies, still naked and entangled on his massive bed.

With my body growing lax, the exhaustion engulfed me like a tidal wave and I began to slip away into slumber with his arms around me. Too tired to even say goodnight to him, I kissed his palm when he ran his fingers through my hair. The last thing I felt was his lips pressing gently on the top of my head. I barely heard his voice, already falling into my dreamless sleep when he faintly whispered to me—

“I’ve waited for you and for this moment for a long time.”

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

“Are you sure you will be okay with this?”

I tilted my head as I waited for his answer. Jimin merely gave me a meek smile, his eyes were drooping lazily as he returned my gaze. Funny how the situation had turned around. When only a few weeks ago, he was the one who first came into my room, asking for my permission to join me in my bed. Tonight, I was the one waiting for him to invite me in, while he was the one who needed the companion.

“I’m sure,” he whispered softly with his voice sounding low and hoarse, as if he needed everything in him just to get those words out of his lips. “In fact, I’m sure you will only make it better,” he chuckled lightly as he patted the side of the bed.

I looked away, following his dainty hand, thin and sickly pale that it almost matched the colour of his linen sheets. The sight nearly broke me down that I had to close my eyes before I could look into his eyes again. Just as our gazes met, he must have seen the hesitance building up inside me, because he slowly began to shift on the bed and scoot backwards, leaving a small space beside him just enough for me to squeeze in.

His movement was careful, doing his best to shift around under the restraint of the infusion tubes attached to his arm. Settling on his side as he waited for me to climb on top of the bed, I could hear him breathing heavily, letting me know just how much that subtle move had already drained enough of his energy.

“Come here,” he said, patting the empty side of the bed once again to beckon me close. “Don’t worry, they change the sheets every time they have a chance to.”

I gave him a light scoff, chuckling softly on his effort to make a light joke. As if I had to be reminded of the hospital’s routines when I had to endure and witness all the same thing as well. Jimin’s eyes kept forcing themselves to close, yet he was persistent, holding back from dozing off just to make sure he would see me come to bed with him. So I gave in. With a sigh, I set up the IV stand that I had dragged along with me all the way from my room to be next to his bed, before I crawled on top of it. It was a struggle to climb up, as I had to maneuver everything from locking my wheelchair in place, to pushing myself up and onto the bed. My flimsy pyjamas kept getting in the way while my stiff back made it hard for me to move easily. I was glad to have taken enough painkillers to numb down the pain, even if it was just a tad, or else I wouldn’t even be able to move at all with how strained my spine had become for the past few weeks.

“Be careful,” Jimin whispered when I let out a hiss the moment I pulled my legs up. I responded only with a smile and a soft murmur of, “I’m okay,” as I held back the pain and settled down beside him, trying not to make him too worried about me when he already had too much to deal with in his current condition. It took me a while, with careful shifts and turns, before I finally managed to lie down next to him.

As we laid on our sides, facing each other with our hands entangled together, I let myself get lost in his eyes while he kept his gaze locked on me. For a moment, everything else around us seemed to disappear, just like how it always had been whenever we held on to each other like this. Every painful moment of our battles against our demons, the illness that was eating up our souls from within, seemed so far away. His painful treatments and therapies, the forthcoming life-threatening surgery I was set to deal with within the next few weeks, all seemed irrelevant.

All the fright and pain seemed insignificant compared to his warmth and comforting touch, but I still held his hand tightly in mine, afraid that he may disappear once I let go.

Being in this hospital for a long time, everything around us had become redundant. We had somehow gotten used to the scents, the mixture of antiseptics and drugs, all the voices coming from the hallways even as we were asleep at night, and the chill temperature in our rooms that had always felt like ice picking into our skin. Even the pain that we both had to endure became a part of us, expected but never welcomed, as if they would always be there, the eerie reminders of why the both of us had ended up in this place together.

Yet everything became bearable because of Jimin. Because we had each other.

By now, the nurses and doctors no longer found it odd to find us sleeping side by side at night. A few requests had even been made to have us being roomed together to make it easier for us to be with each other, since the night trips down the hallways to each other’s rooms had started to become obstacles that were getting in the way of our recovery.

But every trip, even with its pain and exhaustion, had been worth it. Our nights together had kept us strong. They gave us both hope, something to look forward to.

Even when the days like this one would come, when either one of us would be taken away for our special ’treatments’ and ‘test runs’, before we were returned into our rooms only half of what we were before we had left.

“How was it?” I bit my lip the moment I realised that I was questioning him the one thing I knew he would be most reluctant to talk about. I knew how hard the day had been for him, because I had been there too. Despite my worries, I wasn’t sure if making him relive everything that he had gone through today would be a good idea, but sometimes talking about it helped, which was why it came almost instinctively for me to let him talk about it.

When his gaze was shadowed with disdain, I instantly regretted for even asking. Yet, he quickly smiled, chuckling lightly with his eyes closed before he answered, “It was marvellous. Astounding, joyful, completely relaxing. My whole body feels light, just like air, and now I am as strong as ever.”

The last words he said was accompanied by a bitter chuckle. When he opened his eyes again, they were glowing with unshed tears, and my chest tightened.

“It was that bad, huh?” I could feel my throat tightening, my voice cracked as I held back my tears. I hated what his treatments would do to him. Nobody should wake up early in the morning only to face an entire day of painful procedures. The only reprieve I could have about him getting through them was knowing that these procedures were the ones keeping him alive, giving him more time to fight as they tried their best to find the exact cure to free Jimin from his demons.

“I survived. There is nothing more fun than having people pricking and poking on your skin, and needles being jabbed through your tailbones,” he stopped, his lips twitching as he grimaced in defeat, as if he could still feel everything happening as he was talking about it. “At least I didn’t have to see it when they drew the blood from my be—”

I stopped him from finishing the sentence by pushing myself forward and landing a kiss on his lips. It startled him at first, before he sighed and returned them. Our dry lips meshed together into one in a delicate manner, too afraid to add any more pressure as either of us refused to hurt the other, even if we were desperate for one another.

His smile was present when I pulled back. His gaze softened as he opened his eyes, the pain and anger he felt almost gone when he looked at me. I didn’t move too far away, staying close with my hands on his chest just to feel our bond.

“I’m sorry for asking,” I told him, lowering my eyes to avoid his gaze. The next thing I felt was his chapped lips pressing on my forehead.

“It’s okay. A kiss can always make it better,” he said to me with a grin. My shoulders started to fall with relief, my fingers tracing the collar line of his pyjama top absentmindedly until I grazed his skin, and felt his prominent collarbone under the tip of my fingers.

“Don’t—” he hissed, surprising me enough that I started to pull my hand away with guilt. Except that he caught my hand before I could and kept it there. As I looked up into his eyes, I knew that he was not talking about how he didn’t want me to touch him. I didn’t understand it until he reached out to me, brushing the tear that I didn’t realise have made its presence on my face.

A sob finally escaped me, while he gave me a sad smile as he kissed my knuckles.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t feel sad for me.”

“I’m not—” I sobbed, clutching his hand that was holding mine so desperately. “It’s not that. It’s—”

He raised his eyebrows as he looked at mine, which he later kissed to make my frown go away. I relaxed against him when he kept his lips pressing there, giving me a chance to find my voice again before I could continue to speak. “I feel sorry for both of us.”

Jimin pulled me closer and let me rest my head on his shoulder. He did everything ever so gently, knowing that he would risk pulling the infusion tube that was attached to my forearm if he had tugged me too hastily.

“It will be over soon,” he whispered. I could feel his lips pressing on my thinning hair, his breath falling on my temple. He still had his hand holding mine in one, as the other was rubbing my back. The pyjama top I was wearing suddenly felt too thick on my skin. His touches felt too delicate that they were barely there.

“Soon, there will be no more of these cables, tubes, needles. No more nurses and doctors poking our bodies or running those tests on us. No more nauseating drugs and stale hospital meals. And there will be music around us instead of the sounds of the steady heart monitors we keep hearing from down the halls,” he kept whispering to me in a soothing voice. His body, his touch, his kisses, and his words started to replace the cold temperature in the room as I relaxed further in his hold.

“Soon, we will be sleeping in our comfy bed, in our own bedroom instead of these suffocating hospital rooms. And we will be able to walk and run freely with our heads held high without having to lean on the walls or being pushed on wheelchairs wherever we want to go. Soon, we will be walking out of here, our bodies strong enough, our face less pale, and our hair thickens. And I will be holding your hand as we do so.”

I kept my eyes close as I listened to him, picturing everything in my head until they all felt real. “That does sound nice. Every single one of it,” I told him with a sigh, pressing my cheeks on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. “Where should we go first after we leave here?”

“Hmmm—” his voice was soft with the familiar hum which I loved when he thought about it for a moment. “First, I will take you out on a date. I will make up for all the dates I had promised you and missed. The list is already so long, so I know we won’t be done with each and one of them in one day.”

“Obviously,” I chuckled.

“We can start light. I can take you to a fancy coffee shop. We will find the hippest one in the city, the one that youngsters love to hang out in. Because I know how much you love your panini.”

“Um,” I moan playfully, earning a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Yes, I do.”

“And then we could go to the movies. No horror movies, just some of those drama flicks you like most. And then we’ll go shopping, and we could go sightseeing in the city—” he continued. I could clearly see his eyes glazing when I looked up to him, lost in wonder, and it was much better than the usual painful look they usually emitted at the end of his treatments. So I said nothing, opting to listen to his words instead and joined him in imagining us going through every part of his plan.

In our minds, we were healthy. With no restrictions in our bodies to hold us back from walking and running, and laughing together while we were at it, as we were enjoying our lives together just the way we had planned them to.

“What if we run out of places to visit just in the city alone?” I asked him. “Pretty sure we would be bored with going to the malls and the zoos after a while. I’m okay with sitting in the park during our free time and the frequent trips to the coffee shop, but what then?”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, closing his eyes. The wondrous look in his gaze returned when he opened them a little bit later. “I really want to take you to other places, of course. I would love to take you for a whole weekend down the beach.”

“The beach?”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Wouldn’t it be nice? I mean, I love going to the mountains and all, but the beach would be a really good idea after we spend weeks inside these walls without the sun falling on our skin, don’t you think?”

“The warm sun does sound more lovely compared to this,” I answered him while snuggling closer, searching for the warmth that I could barely acquire from my pyjamas and the hospital’s blanket alone. Jimin tightened his arm around me, either knowing that I needed it and also needing to warm himself at the same time.

“We can stroll down the beach, the white sand slipping between our toes. I would chase you down as we run with the waves, probably dunk you into the water once I catch you,” he said, chuckling when I swatted his chest.

“You know I hate wearing wet clothes,” I protested with a pout, making him laugh.

“Who said we’ll be wearing full clothes on?”

I looked up at him with a frown. “What are we wearing then?”

Licking his lips, he looked down to stare at mine. “We’ll be in swimming suits, of course. You’ll be wearing the bikini you once showed me, the yellow pair you wore in your photos from college, and I’d wear a trunk that is just as revealing as yours.”

I started picturing us in the same way he described it. Before I could even stop it, I felt my smile fading, as my own insecurities blanketed me.

“What? What’s wrong?” he lifted my chin gently so that I was staring straight into his eyes. And I realised then that I was mirroring his frown. Although when his face was showing curiosity, mine was giving him something else.

“Nothing,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I just—” I could only sigh, hating the feeling I was having, dreading the lump that was stuck in my throat. His imagination and his dream were all beautiful. But I was not. “Look at me. I look ugly. I can’t imagine myself wearing those outfits again, revealing myself to you like that. Everything about me has changed so much since I got sick. I could never return to how I was before—”

“Stop saying that. You are beautiful,” Jimin scolded me, stopping me by pressing his thumb on my quivering lips. His eyes were dark, but his voice was soft. And it only got even softer when he spoke, “I don’t care if you will look different, if the bikini won’t fit you anymore. You are beautiful.”

I lost every word that I was going to say, not having a chance to answer him when he leaned in to kiss me, drowning my thoughts and insecurities and replacing them with comfort as he pressed his lips on mine. He never stopped until I stopped crying, until I returned the kiss with my own and stopped with a content sigh. He pulled away with a gentle smile on his face, looking at me just as I mirrored his smile. The terrible, painful thoughts no longer bothered me as much as they did. Not when he was looking at me the way he did. Like I was something special.

But then I began chastising myself for being so vulnerable. This had been such a tough day for Jimin, and I was supposed to be the one comforting him by coming here. Not the other way around. Again, as if he could read my thoughts, he pulled me back to him by tilting my chin up and forcing me to look at him instead of avoiding his eyes and getting too lost in my head.

“Do you want to know what I think about when I picture myself taking you to the beach?” he asked me all so suddenly, and I nodded.

“I do want to know. What do you have in mind?”

Jimin’s lips curled into a sly grin. His glazed eyes filled with mirth as he held my hands, pressing them on his chest when he spoke,

“I want to lay you down on the sand when night comes, hold you close to my chest as we look up at the stars in the sky, the sound of waves running in the background would be the perfect music for our night together. And then I will kiss your lips—” he stopped, leaning down to give me a chaste kiss right on the corner of my lips, “—and your nose.” I laughed softly when he kissed the tip of my nose, teasingly pressing his kiss a bit longer before pulling away so he could continue.

“I will continue kissing you, down to your chin and then to your neck. I will probably lick your collarbones, finding the sensitive parts where they tickle,” he said, grinning wide when I laughed.

“You know which spots they are,” I told him, earning his wide smile in return.

“I do know,” he said. “And I will kiss them all, before I continue lower.”

I raised my eyebrows, curious to listen to his plans even more. “How much lower?”

Jimin bit his lips. His eyes slowly turned away from my face and he looked down between us.

“I will start from your breasts, although I might have to take your top off first,” he said, keeping his eyes on my chest.

A gasp came out of me and I instantly pulled my hands away from him, crossing them over my chest and looked away when my face felt hot. “But—they no longer look the way they used to, and—”

“And perfect for my small, skinny hands,” he cut me off while prying my hands away and held them close to his chest again. He lifted my face with his finger on my chin and said, “They are the softest thing in the world, ____. And I love to admire them. To touch them, to kiss them.”

And he kissed me. Right on my lips, before I ever got a chance to respond. “I remember you being sensitive there,” he whispered, keeping his forehead pressed on mine while his hand brushed gently on my covered breasts from over my pyjama top.

“I’m sensitive everywhere. Whenever you touch me,” I whispered. My heartbeat started racing as I felt his palm kneading my breast softly, moving carefully so he wouldn’t hurt me. His touch made me shudder, and I almost failed to process his words before he moved his hand to my back, pulling me closer to him, while his other hand stayed behind, pinching gently on my hardened nipple until I gasped against his lips. I could barely question how or why this conversation had suddenly led to this, and I could only guess where he was leading this to. I knew because his eyes were telling me all of his intentions as they looked at me with darkness behind their sleepy glow.

“So would you let me touch you then? Without anything getting in the way, I mean. Would you let me kiss you there?” he asked, practically begging me softly with an adorable look on his face that I just had no choice but to nod. Smiling to me to show how my response had pleased him, he leaned in, tracing my jawline with his kisses while he whispered, “I will take my time, taking one peak and lick it, bite you tenderly until I feel the tip of your breast hardening in my lips. And then I will do the same to the other—”

“Jimin—” I gasped. And my body suddenly started heating up all over, from my chest and down to my core. He pressed his lips on my neck, right where I pulsed for him, and I almost came right away just from listening to his words and feeling his gentle kiss alone.

“Are you going to push me away?” he asked me, nipping at the tender skin on my neck when he felt me shuddering against him.

“N-no—” I shifted on the bed, moving my legs and started pressing them together to tone down the intense pulse rising inside my core.

“Good, because then I can continue kissing you,” he whispered, pressing his lips on mine before he pulled me in until our chests were pressing each other. “I will kiss every part of your skin until you arch your chest, pressing your body to me. Then I will continue lower, kissing down your stomach, licking around your navel until you reach down to pull my hair. Just don’t pull me too hard, I might lose the hair that I have grown by then.”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Appalled to how he could still throw a little joke in the middle of his sweet yet sinful talk. “Stop, you’re being silly.”

“You love me being silly,” he immediately responded. His lips turned to a smirk when I glanced up, making me want to kiss it away. But he had my body pressing close to his, making it hard for me to reach up. All I could reach was his neck, and that was where I let my lips rest, making him chuckle before he grunted softly when I nipped at his skin playfully in return just before he continued to whisper, “And I bet you will stop thinking that I am being silly once I reach your bikini bottom and start lowering them down your legs.”

I hid my face on the nape of his neck as I groaned desperately, the heat between my legs making its appearance once more. But I didn’t stop him.

“I will shift between your legs, never stop kissing you until I am there—licking, and sucking, and drinking every drop of your release until you scream my name.”

“Oh, Jimin,” I gasped. My body reacted before my mind could even process it. I was pressing my whole body onto him, my legs rubbing each other in desperate need to press the intense throbbing that was happening between them.

“Would you like that?” he whispered, sounding breathless when he spoke to me. His own desire was coating his words and I felt him trembling against me.

“Hmm—” I sighed, not even minding that he had one of his legs slipping between mine and I was practically grinding on his thigh. “Yeah, I would like that a lot.”

Jimin fell silent for a moment. But I could feel his eyes on me, studying my face while I had my eyes closed, embracing the warmth that was throbbing inside me, started deep within my core before it began to spread all over my body. I hummed softly as I was enjoying the warmth coming out of his body, when I focused on his thigh that was pressing down the heat between my legs. I waited until my heartbeat steadied and opened my eyes.

“Do you think I would stop there?” he asked, smiling gently as he watched me slowly falling apart.

“Oh? You won’t?”

“No, that’s just the beginning, my love,” he shook his head, pressing his thigh harder onto my heat. The pressure hit right where I needed him and I instantly started grinding against it while his words came flowing as if he was guiding me into making love to his body. And I complied with my eyes closed, my body dancing through his words, my hips kept swivelling with the same rhythm of his heartbeat under my palms.

“Once you come down from your climax, I will lift your legs, open them apart so I can move between them. I’ll keep touching your skin and kissing all over your body while I crawl on top of you. I won’t stop kissing you, and I will only look into your eyes when I make love to you under the stars and the moonlight. The sky and the universe as our witness. You will keep your eyes on the night sky, at the bright stars lighting us from above when I am deep inside you, filling you up until all you could see is more stars. I will bring you pleasure, the kind that you had never felt before, until your body explodes to another climax while you are in my hands.”

And that was it.

His words pushed me right into the edge, my hips moving voluntarily as I pictured him making love to me, his hands strumming my whole body the way his words did it to me. With each throb of need, I pressed my hips down, pressing myself harder onto his thigh while my hips rubbed against his covered hard-on. We moved together as I continued to swivel, rolling my hips against his body, thrusting my pulsing heat against his thigh, chasing my end. His voice started fading out when my whole body shuddered, the rush of pleasure came climbing up steadily until it reached to the peak, and I came apart with his arms around me. I kept whimpering his name, gasping for breath in between as the electric waves of bliss came coursing through my body. He never let go of me as he kept whispering to me sweet nothings, kissing my face gently until I was coming down from my high and I started to calm down.

“That was—” I gasped, when a few small spasms of my orgasm ran through me with his hands rubbing on my back. I gave him a smile which he returned with his own. “All of it, it all sounded beautiful.” I licked my lips, and let out a soft chuckle. “And completely unsanitary.”

Jimin laughed, sounding delighted and relieved. And then he kissed me, as gentle as he possibly could, yet still deep and intense. It felt like giving me my release had him letting go of his own apprehension. I was beginning to dread the fact that he had pleasured me while I failed to help him reach his end, until I felt his soaked pants and saw the dark stain forming between his legs that had proven otherwise. I was breathing a sigh of relief when he tilted my face up again.

“Will you do it with me one day? Run away to a place where we could be alone, together, just the two of us? Make love to me under the stars?” he asked me while looking deep into my eyes.

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” I answered him without ever looking away so he could see that I meant what I said. “You know that I’ll be happy as long as I’m with you, Jimin.”

Jimin’s eyes widened for a brief moment. I could see through them glints of happiness, hope, and joy, before they all disappeared in a blink and he was breaking down in front of me again. He pulled me into a deep hug, just when I felt myself breaking down with him. Neither of us could allow ourselves to pull away, to see the unspoken truth that lingered between us, that was shown through our eyes when they finally met each other again.

And then, as he gently pressed his lips on the top of my head, I felt him smiling through his tears.

“Everything will be okay,” he whispered. It was never clear whether he was trying to convince himself or to calm me down, but I took it all in, allowing the hope that was coating his sentence to reside in my chest.

“We’re going to be okay,” I said then, as I kept breaking down silently with tears.

“Yes, we are.” He kissed my forehead, repeating the words over and over again until his voice started to sound heavy with sleep. A sign that his medicine had finally taken effect on him. That our little tryst was enough to make him feel a bit more relaxed than he was before.

“Go to sleep, Jimin,” I told him as I wrapped my arms around him, feeling myself being dragged into the darkest of night at the same time, when my own body started to give in to sleep. I was halfway into my dreams when I heard his voice speaking softly to me,

“Thank you, ______. Good night.”

That night, I dreamt of us making love under the stars.

The ground and the plateau around us became nothing else but a blanket of darkness, overshadowed by the bright night sky above. Nothing else mattered but us, together, joined as one. Everything else became insignificant when all I could see, and feel, was him. And I could never look away from him as he made love to me, making me whole again while he brought me pleasure. Nothing else could make me look away, for he was the most beautiful star in my eyes, and he was the only one who could mend every piece of my broken soul until I was completed once again.

—  © 2020 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[eretzyisrael]

Lama Al-Manar, 36, doesn't remember what she put into the small bag she was carrying when she stepped into a Red Crescent ambulance, other than medical documents. She doesn't remember the last words her husband, who was riding with her, said to her before they separated at the Erez crossing. She doesn't know whether he followed them with his gaze when she walked toward the crossing and passed from the Gaza Strip to Israel, where a Magen David Adom ambulance was waiting for her.

From the moment she left Shifa Hospital that afternoon, until she arrived at Sheba Medical Center at Tel Hashomer some five hours later, Lima's eyes never left the incubator that was holding her son, Abdullah, 2.5 months old, whose tiny body was receiving oxygen.

She also wouldn't have remembered what day it was if they hadn't explained how lucky she had been. It was Monday, May 10, 2021, the day on which Operation Guardian of the Walls against Hamas infrastructure in Gaza began. The ambulance that brought her and her son to Israel was the last allowed through Erez crossing before it was closed for 13 days.

Three children are waiting for her at home. Two years ago, she gave birth to a stillborn child, and when she became pregnant for the fifth time, she was eager for the new baby to bring joy back to the home. But Abdullah was born two months prematurely with a complicated heart defect and Lamaand her husband realized they would need to fight for his life.

"I was afraid. His condition wasn't good," Lama says. "He lost weight, and his breathing and other parameters slowed. I prayed to God to heal him. To fight for his little life. A doctor at Shifa Hospital recommended that we send him to Israel for treatment. My husband reached out to the Shevet Achim organization to help us get him there."

Thursday afternoon, the 11th day of the Gaza campaign. The radio reports a rocket alert in Ashkelon, and then a direct hit on a residential building. We arrive at the parking structure attached to the labor ward at Sheba Medical Center, which is next to the Edmond and Lily Safra Children's Hospital. The children's ICU was transferred here on the fifth day of the fighting for fear of rocket hits.

We go down one floor. After walking through the gray halls lined with oxygen tanks at the ready, we encounter a colorful sign decorated with a drawing of a sun and a kite: "Protected Children's ICU." Reality stays outside. In the parking structure, which was filled with cars the previous week, there are 40 small beds. Each one takes up two parking places, and holds a small baby who is hooked up to medical equipment. Nearby is a treatment station, a computer, and a lounge chair for adults.

The beds are separated by flowered curtains that were hung on the metal pipes that line the parking garage's ceiling. No one closes the curtains. There are also hanging screens that are attached to monitors that fill the space with dim beeping.

In the center of the improvised unit are a dialysis cart and another cart that holds equipment for chest drainage. Sometimes, a baby's cry can be heard. It is weak, and starts and stops quickly.

Over bed No. 26 a sign reads: "Abdullah Al-Manar. Date of birth: Feb. 26, 2021. Weight: 1.6 kg (3.52 pounds)." Lamasits on the chair and watches Shani, the nurse, take off Abdullah's cloth diaper, exposing a large incision that runs from his chest to his belly. Shani changes the dressing, rubs cream on it, puts his medicine into the IV bag attached to his small arm, and covers him gently.

In the next bed lies three-month-old Rana, who is recovering from her third open heart surgery, which she underwent two days earlier. On the left is Yazen, a month old, who had a catheterization.

Dr. Evyatar Hubara, 43, a senior doctor on the unit, moves from bed to bed. He slept three hours the night before due to the number of cases.

"The three children from Gaza suffer from complicated heart defects," Hubara explains. "They came to us in serious condition, among other reasons because it took time from when the problem was diagnosed in Gaza until their transfer to us could be coordinated, all the permits received, and that's without changing ambulances at Erez and the bumpy journey. Right now, all three are in an acute stage. We still haven't gotten to the rehabilitation state, which will begin here and continue in Gaza," he says.

Hubara stops by Abdullah's bed and looks at him warmly. "Abdullah was born prematurely and was incorrectly diagnosed in Gaza. The doctors … performed the wrong operation on him when he was two months old. A week after the operation, he began to decline, and a week after that he reached us. In the first few hours we needed to stabilize him and keep his blood pressure steady with medication.

"We started to look into the problem. We did an MRI and other tests. Before every stage, we explained to his mother what we were going to do. She trusted us from the beginning. After we stabilized him, we found that the true defect he was suffering from was an aortic valve stenosis. It turned out that in Gaza they had tried to close the ductus, but closed one of the main arteries by mistake.

"In the insane Israeli reality, we had to protect ourselves against rockets from Gaza along with the babies who come from here," he says.

"I remember one siren that caught me on the unit, before we moved to the parking structure. All the mothers, Jewish and Arab, just grabbed their babies – the ones that weren't hooked up to machines – and ran to a safe space. I shouted, 'We have time, 90 seconds, go slowly so you won't fall with the kids.' Everyone gathered around in the safe space. Staff members and patients, Jews and Arabs together. The shocking sight of the mothers who ran there with their babies doesn't leave me," Hubara recalls. Not all the mothers were able to take their babies to a safe space. Abdullah, Rana, and Yazen, as well as another 12 Israeli babies, are on respiratory equipment, and they were unprotected during the first rocket alerts. This is why the hospital administration decided to move the entire department from the sixth floor to the underground parking garage. Here, the sirens can't even be heard.

We go with Lama, Raida, and Samira into the staff room, located at the exit. The room has a big refrigerator full of popsicles donated to the children and the staff who care for them. Every few minutes, a parent or a staff member comes in and takes one.

About a year ago, when the COVID pandemic was still raging in Israel, a COVID unit opened in this same parking structure to ease the mass of patients that was overwhelming the hospitals. That event seems like ancient history, and the only thing that remains of it are the letters of thanks stuck to the door. It seems as if this is the last place in the country where people are careful to wear masks, and wear them properly.

The three Gaza women are embarrassed. They aren't used to being interviewed. All three are wearing abayas, long dresses that include head coverings, as well as hijabs and surgical masks. Since they arrived in Israel, they have been sleeping here, on the unit, in the recliner chairs next to their children's beds. They are also given meals. Once every few days, they allow themselves to go upstairs and shower. None of them speaks any language other than Arabic, with the exception of a few words of Hebrew or English. Moshe Ravid, 26, a nursing student from Jaffa and a volunteer with the Shevet Achim organization, translates.

Raida (Umm Ahmad), 48, is from Khan Younis. She is Rana's grandmother, a housewife and mother of six.

"My daughter-in-law, Rana's mother, came to Israel with her in February, two weeks after she was born," she says. "After two weeks, she was tired and not feeling well. Because she has a four-year-old at home, she called me and asked me to switch with her. She went back to Gaza, and since then, I've been here. Three months already. This is my first time in Israel."

Q: Were you afraid?

"No, why should I be afraid? My husband worked in Bat Yam for 20 years. Every day, he went from Gaza to Bat Yam, until the disengagement in 2005. After that, he found work in Gaza. He told me that there are good people in Israel, that everyone here is all right."

Abdullah's mother Lama, 36, is wearing a brown abaya accessorized with a shining silver star. Her smartphone has a pink cover. She works in a laboratory, and her husband is a producer for Palestinian television in Gaza. She has two other sons, 11 and six, at home, as well as a three-and-a-half-year-old daughter.

"My mother had cancer. She went to Israel to be treated, and recovered," Lama says. "She told me that everything is good here. When Abdullah's condition got worse, the doctor recommended that we come to Israel. My husband reached out to Shevet Achim. Now he and my mother are watching the three other kids at home."

Q: What do you tell your families about what is happening here?

Lama: "They're afraid for us, and we're afraid for them. When they call to hear how we are, I answer, 'Al Hamdullah,' so they won't be scared and worry, and when I call to ask how they are, they say the same thing. We talk about the boy, how he ate, how much he ate, how much he slept. "I tell them that the doctors here are good, that they treat us well, answer all our questions. I tell them that the food is excellent, that the women have nice clothes, about their hairstyles. I like the fashion in Israel, and the grilled chicken breast and salad they serve at the hospital."

Raida: "The medical staff thinks only about the children – whether their condition has improved, what they ate, how they slept. We sit next to their beds, don't know how they'll be from one moment to the next, whether they'll get better at all."

Q: Do they send you pictures of the strikes on Gaza?

"They send me pictures of the special Ramadan sweets," Raida answers, with a smile.

Samira, 62, is the grandmother of Yazen, who is only a month old. "I have nine grown children, and my son has four children other than Yazen. Their mother needs to take care of them, so they asked me to accompany the child. At home, when we talk about Israel, we only talk about the medical treatment we want to get here."

Moshe, the translator, tells them in Arabic not to be frightened, that they can speak freely. They all answer at once: "We aren't afraid, we're speaking honestly. Everyone wants peace. We want it to be all right."

Samira: "Inshallah, things will calm down. We aren't dealing with politics."

Q: What did you do when people in Gaza fired rockets toward this area?

Raida: "What everyone else did. The nurses took us to a safe place. The babies stayed on the unit, hooked up to respirators. I was worried about them, that they were alone, but everyone calmed us down, said that it would all be fine."

Lama: "We tried to talk to the other people in the safe area, without understanding one another. Everyone wants to know how the other's child is doing. He's sorry about my son, and I'm sorry about his."

Q: Did your families leave their homes because of the airstrikes?

Raida: "No. Everyone is in his own home."

Q: Are any of your family members involved in the fighting?

All three shake their heads, no. "Not everyone in Gaza enlists in the army," Raida says. "My husband worked in Israel. Half of Gaza used to work in Israel. You must have seen the workers who would come from Gaza."

Samira: "My father and my husband used to work in Israel."

Q: When are you going home?

Raida's eyes fill with tears. "Rana's chest is still open from the last surgery. I'm sitting with you and laughing, but my heart is crying. So I'm telling you that my every thought is for the baby. That's our situation."

Lama: "Today, Dr. Evytar said that Abdullah has an infection in his right lung, which was good. Until now he had one in his left lung. I hope it works out. I'll go back to Gaza when he gets better, but I don't know when."

Hospital Director Dr. Itai Pessach says that every year, the center treats about 500 children from Gaza and another 2,700 children from the Palestinian Authority. "They range in age from a week to 18. Some of the children arrive through the Shevet Achim organization, and others through our own coordinator."

"During the last military operation, our doctor colleagues in Gaza reached out to us about children in serious condition, and we fought to bring them to Israel during the operation. Unfortunately, we didn't succeed, and that's very sad. I'm happy we're getting back to normal," Pessach says.

According to Pessach, "we don't see any difference between a child who comes from Gaza, Nablus, or Tiberias. Our treatment looks at all the child's needs, including emotional needs and school work at the school that operates on the hospital grounds. A year ago, a nine-year-old boy with cancer arrived from Gaza who didn't know how to read and write. He returned to Gaza last month, after a year-long hospitalization, healthy and knowing how to read and write in Hebrew, Arabic, and even English."

Q: How did the patients respond to this during the Gaza fighting?

"A family from Gaza arrived two days before the operation started, and we diagnosed their son with a rare disease, one that only seven children in Israel have. By chance, two rooms away there was a Haredi family with a child who had been diagnosed with the same disease two months ago. While the rockets were falling, the Haredi mother insisted on meeting the mother from Gaza and teaching her everything she knew about the disease and how to treat it."

"There is a truly shared fate here. They feel that they're fighting against something bigger than rockets. To get better, a patient needs to feel secure, and that's what we're doing. A hospital is a home for all the patients.

"I'm happy to say that the external tensions didn't creep into the work. There was no tension between the staff and the patients. The good of the patient always comes before everything else. Even at administration meetings – everyone put aside their own political views and we managed to provide a quality medical response and protect the safety of the staff and patients," Pessach says.

The funding for the Gaza children's treatment comes mainly from donors – mostly American Christians, and some Israelis.

"Saving the life of the child is an entire world," says Jonathan Miles, founder of Shevet Achim. Miles arrive in Israel from the US in the 1990s, as a journalist, and started to volunteer with the group Christian Friends of Israel.

"We welcomed Russian immigrants to Israel. We wanted them to understand that the Jewish people have friends in the world. One day a mother from Ukraine whose child's life was in danger came to me. She had no money for medical treatment, and she begged me to help. I started raising money to help him. Wizo helped a lot, as did other people, both Jews and Christians.

"After that, I heard about sick babies in Gaza, and in 1994 I founded the organization. We bring children from Muslim states to Israel for treatment."

Amar Shami, 32, who coordinates the transfer of children from Gaza to Israel for Shevet Achim, lives in Jerusalem.

"The families who go back to Gaza tell each other about the treatment in Israel," he says. "One mother tells another. When the child has a problem, they reach out to me. Sometimes the doctors reach out directly." Q: What goes through your mind while you're busy providing treatment and rockets are flying outside?

"Inside the hospital, we detach. We only want to help them. When you go out you realize that reality is different. We hope that when the families from Gaza go home, they will sort of be our emissaries, say good things about Israel."

The night that the ceasefire between Israel and Hamas took effect, Rana's heart stopped beating, despite the doctors' best efforts. Her grandmother, Raida, left the hospital weeping. She was driven to a Shevet Achim apartment in Jaffa. When Erez crossing opened, she returned to Gaza with Rana's coffin.

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter eight

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2900

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: angst but not really

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In the time that it took for us to make the long trek through the hills and woods, I had recounted the events of the past few months to Bucky. He walked beside me, holding my hand the whole time. He listened intently, asking questions when I paused for a breath. When I finished, Bucky was a little upset. Not at the fact that I had willfully allowed myself to be experimented on, but because I had joined a secret Government agency almost right out of high school and didn’t tell anyone.

I told him that I was sorry and that I would have told him if I hadn't been contractually obligated to keep it a highly kept secret. He forgave me quickly, saying that the only reason he was okay with it was that it allowed me to be able to see him. I shook my head lightheartedly. Bucky never was able to stay upset with me for long.

The sun had come up by the time our group made it back to the base camp. As we got closer and closer, I could feel a buzz of life going through the men. They were excited to be back in safe territory. The soldiers in the camp all came running to greet us as we made our way up the road. They all stood around us and cheered. Steve, Bucky, and I kept walking through the camp towards Coronel Phillips’ tent. The cheering quieted as we were met by the Coronel several yards away from the tents. Peggy was following closely behind the Coronel.

“Sir. Some of these men are in need of medical attention immediately.” Steve started. “We would also like to offer ourselves up for disciplinary action.” He glanced back at me as he made the comment. I gave him a nod in agreement. I didn’t fear the consequences, we had done the right thing and that was all that mattered.

“That won’t be necessary.” Philips started and walked away.

More and more soldiers continued to gather around us until all I could see were cheering men. Loudly one of them shouted, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” The crowd went into an uproar at that, and it seemed like everyone started to clap Steve on the back. Bucky and Steve gave one another a quick look before they started to argue with the men that I had also helped in rescuing them, but none of them would listen.

“Guys stop it, it doesn't matter if they believe I helped or not,” I stepped in before their arguments could get heated.

“Don’t say that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you, they need to know who helped get them to freedom.” Steve argued.

"Yeah Doll, they should know who helped save them,” Bucky chimed in.

I just stood there looking at them. “I don’t care if they believe I helped or not, just let it go. I really only went to find out what happened to Bucky, and since he's okay, I’m content.” I started walking away from the crowd after that, Bucky not far on my heels. “Let's go, Buck,” I stuck out my hand to grab onto his, “I’m ready for a shower and some good sleep.”

After a few days of recuperation, the camp was packed up. Most of the 107th, high commanding officers, and Steve, Bucky, and I, were taken back to London. While the rest of the base went onwards, closer to the front lines.

Steve and I were brought to one of the several secret underground bases to relay all the information we could remember about the night we took down the HYDRA base. Steve was currently marking the locations of other HYDRA bases he had seen on a map hanging in Zola’s office. I sat off to the side of the table watching quietly, not really paying attention. I was brought back to reality as the map was yanked out from under my elbow. I looked up and noticed Steve and Peggy walking away. I quickly got up and followed them over to the large map laid out in the center of the room.

“These are all of the weapons factories that we know about. Sergeant Barnes said that they ship all the parts out to another facility that wasn't shown on the maps.” Steve informs Peggy and Coronel Phillips.

“Agent Carter, get in touch with MI6, I want all allied eyes looking for the main base,” Philips commanded.

“What about us Coronel?” I questioned.

“We are going to go after Johann Schmidt. What do you call Captain Rogers? It’s your map, can you wipe HYDRA off it?”

“Yes Sir, I do. I’ll just need a team to do it.” Steve confirmed.

“We already have the men picked out.”

“With all due respect Coronel, I do too, and it includes my sister.”

Later that night Peggy and I were dressing up to go out. All the men had chosen to go to the bars and we both took this as a chance to at least pretend for a little while that the war wasn’t going on. I heard Peggy walking into the room as I finished pinning a few curls at the back of my head.

“How do I look?” She asked. I gasped as I turned around, I had never seen her in anything but the military blouse and skirt. The red knee-length, fitted dress made her look more beautiful than she already was.

“You look stunning. What about me?” I stood up and did a small twirl. The fabric of the dark royal blue dress flared out slightly as I did so.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” She smiled at me. I gave her one back.

“We should be on our way, wouldn't want to keep the boys waiting.”

I could hear the music from the sidewalk as we approached the bar. Peggy pushed open the door and led us in. We had walked through several rooms before the singing of the soldiers slowly came to a stop and everyone glanced in our direction. I spotted Bucky and Steve sitting at the bar. They both stood when they saw Peggy and me. Bucky had the biggest smile on his face as he came towards me.

“You look beautiful tonight.” he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I pulled away in feign offense.

“Just tonight?”

“You know what I meant.” he gently shoved my arm. I laughed and wrapped my hand around his neck to pull him in for a light peck on the lips.

Peggy had moved closer to Steve before she explained to us that Stark had some new equipment for us to try out tomorrow morning. Steve and I had only just agreed to be at the base when Bucky was dragging me over to a small open space to dance.

He wrapped his hands around my waist and I placed mine around his neck, pulling us closer together. We swayed to the gentle music, completely enamored with one another. His under eyes were still dark from the exhaustion he faced at the Hydra base. He looked completely drained.

“Bucky, Sweetheart, you look absolutely exhausted. Why don’t we go back to the hotel where they have me set up? I’m sure that bed is way more comfortable than those cots they make you sleep in on base.” I suggested.

He pulled away slightly, only enough to look down into my eyes. “We can in a bit. I just want to have a little mundaneness before the whole ‘take HYDRA down’ mission starts.” He pulled me back in and softly pressed his lips to the top of my head.

I stay quiet after that and just enjoy being wrapped in his arms, swaying to the music. It had been months since anything remotely normal had happened in my life. We danced to three more songs before Bucky decided he was ready to leave. When the last song ended we made our way over to where Steve was sitting.

“Hey, we’re going to head out. He’s in desperate need of sleep and I'm taking him back to my hotel room for the night,” I told Steve, who stood up and shook his head.

“No, I'm not letting that happen,” He argued.

“Steve relax, nothings going to happen, we’re just sleeping.”

“I said no. No boys, not even if you are engaged.”

“Sorry but he's been sleeping in my room with me for the past two years so..” I trailed off.

“Two years?” He raised his voice a little. “How long has this been going on?”

“Calm down, there's no need to yell. We got engaged two years ago, in October. I meant to tell you, I really did, but I just could never find the right time. I was even going to tell you when we started dating but I knew how you thought Bucky was when it came to relationships. I can assure you he has been nothing less than loving, and kind to me. I’m sorry that we kept this from you and I hope you understand.”

Steve just stood there, processing what I had just told him.

“Look, Steve, I really do love her, and I know I should have asked for your permission first before I proposed but it just happened that way. I just, I just love her so much and I can’t imagine life without her by my side. So I’m asking now if I have your permission.”

Steve crosses his arms and looks between the two of us. He stayed quiet for several seconds before he replied. “I give you my permission, only because I trust my sister's judgment and I know you’ll be able to take care of her, not that she can't take care of herself.”

“I promise I’ll take care of her until I die. Once this God-forsaken war is over we were planning on having the wedding.”

“Okay, but I still don’t want you two sleeping in the same room alone.”

“Come on Steve, I said we weren’t going to do anything.” I gave out a small chuckle, thankful that the whole argument had blown over quickly. “Let’s go, Buck.” I pulled on Bucky's hand and headed to the entrance doors. I turned back to Steve and gave him a wave before going through the door.

The walk to the hotel was short and quiet. When we reached the building, Bucky denied that he was tired the whole way up to my room, but once we made it through the door and he had taken off his uniform he was laid out cold on the bed. I covered him up with the duvet before I went to the ensuite bathroom to get myself ready for bed.

When I finally laid down next to Bucky, I felt him automatically gravitate to my side. His arm came to rest around me and he buried his head in my chest. I just smiled and gently played with his hair until I also fell into a deep sleep.

Early that morning, before the sun had risen, I woke up to Bucky violently tossing and turning in his sleep. I quickly sat up to try and calm him down.

“Bucky, hey, I’m right here,” I whispered to him as I gently stroked his hair. In his sleep, he held onto my waist tighter. All I could do was sit there and wait for him to wake up. His nightmare went on for what seemed like forever before he finally woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He picked himself up from his stomach and sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, and then he placed his head in his hands.

I crawled my way over behind him and placed my hands on his bare shoulders. He stayed quiet as I massaged away the knots. We stayed like this for a while before he placed his hands on mine, stopping my movements. I then wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight, comforting hug.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. He just shook his head and let out a shaky breath. I let go of him when I felt him start to scoot himself back up into the bed. I watched him wearily lay down on his back. He held his arms out to me motioning for me to come to him and I did. Nestling into his side I felt him start to slowly twirl the ends of my hair around his fingers.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He whispered into my hair.

“It’s alright. I would rather you wake me up than for you to have to deal with the nightmares by yourself.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“You may have mentioned it on occasion.” I laughed. “I love you too. Do you think you can get back to sleep?”

“I think I’ll sit up for a bit, you go ahead and get some rest.”

“Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to wake me up. I mean it.” I shut my eyes and snuggled in closer to him. His breathing slowly went back to normal and I fell back to sleep to the rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his heart beating.

Later, when the city had fully come alive, Bucky and I got dressed and went our separate ways for the day. He went with me to the entrance doors of the hotel and kissed me goodbye before he turned to walk down the street. I watched him walk a way before he turned and gave me a wave. I waved back before I started down the opposite street.

The base was only a ten-minute walk from the hotel so I made it in no time. Going through the doors I made my way down to Howard’s lab. I spotted Howard and Steve talking at a table with several shields on it. I watched as Steve bent over and grabbed one from the bottom shelf. Peggy came into view as I started down the small set of stairs into the room. She came to a stop when Steve asked for her thoughts on the shield he was holding. She grabbed one of the guns from the table beside her and shot at the shield. The bullets ricocheted to the ground and Peggy stated that it in fact worked. She sat the gun back down and walked towards Steve and turned sharply now walking at me. When she got within arms distance of me I stopped her.

“What was that all about?” I gave her a quizzical look.

She just gave me a passive-aggressive smile and said, “Ask your brother.” She stormed out of the room after that, leaving me to interrogate Steve.

“Steve, what did you do?”

“I have no clue.” he exasperated.

“Well, you had to have done something. What happened before I got here?”

“Well, I was waiting to come see Howard when this one lady kissed me, and then Agent Carter started acting weird after that.” I gave him a look of defeated astonishment and brought my hand up to rub my temples.

“God Steve you’re so clueless. That’s literally why she's upset.”

“But why does that matter?”

“Because Steve, she likes you and you kissed someone else right in front of her.”

He stood there with his mouth gaping. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I can’t believe you did that.” I shook my head. I stepped past him and went over to the other side of the table where Howard was. “Now, what's all this about having some equipment to try out?”

Howard turned to the table that was behind us and grabbed a long metal staff. He turned back to face me, holding out the staph. I took it from his hands and gave it a small twirl. “Stark, what's so special about a staff?”

“It isn’t just any staff, it's a two-piece bo staff. I had a talk with some of the trainers at the base in New York and they said you were exceptionally skilled with it. It's made from one of the rarest metals on the planet. It's practically indestructible.” He gave me a look. “Well don’t just stand there Rogers, give it a try.”

Strolling over to a section of the lab that was free of people. I started to spin the staff in my hands, going faster and faster. Using the momentum from the spinning I lunged forward and struck the staff at an imaginary opponent. I looked up and back at Howard and Steve.

“It’s a little lighter than what I’m used to, but it will work.”

“I'm glad it will work out. It took me forever to acquire a metal like that.”

Steve came over at that point, with a piece of folded paper in his hand. Holding it out to Howard he said, “I had some ideas for my suit. I even have some drawn sounds for hers as well.”

“I am not wearing a suit. I'll be just fine in my regular uniform.” I interjected.

“If you’re going to be coming with me to fight HYDRA then you need to wear a suit, for my peace of mind at least

“Fine, for your peace of mind.”

Tag list: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: 27 Minutes

Dick: Good morning adopted dad!

Bruce: *grunts*

Tim: Bruce is so stressed out. Yesterday I watched him stare at a page load for 1 second and he screamed his head off. He almost destroyed the computer.

Jason: I literally saw him counting grey hairs the other day. Whatever it is it must be Tim’s fault.

Tim: Don’t you blame this on me....

Dick: *speaks over Tim* Okay so anyway, here’s the challenge, *speaks a bit lower* first person to make Bruce smile gets to drive the Batmobile on their next patrol.

Cassandra: Awesome, how do we decide who.......

Jason: *walks over to Bruce*

Cassandra: Never mind.

Jason: Hey Bruuuuuce.

Bruce: *glares at Jason while slurping coffee*

Jason: Want some breakfast? *turns on stove* How about some eggs!

Bruce: What do you want?

Jason: Nothing! Just to see my *pauses a bit* old man smile.

Bruce: I will shank you.

Jason: Loving this new color on you? You should be pissed off all the time.

Bruce: Go away.

Jason: Okay......d.....d...da...

Alfred: Don’t burst a blood vessel Jason.

Jason: No, I can do this. Da......d.a....dad *sighs and puts his hand on the stove* AHHH, FUCKER!

Bruce: Jason, are you okay!

Jason: GET AWAY FROM ME, I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF BRUCE! *quickly runs to the bathroom to run cold water over his hand*

Duke: Well that was entertaining!

Cassandra: *lays head on Bruce’s shoulder and hugs him*

Bruce: *hugs Cassandra back but no smile*

Damian: Father, I brought you a gift. *pulls out a picture of the entire batfamily together*

Bruce: *Bruce smiles* Thanks Damian, that’s really thoughtful of you.

Damian: *turns towards everyone and points* YES SUCK IT LOSERS!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Okay, so we have reached a low point of criminal activity for Gotham City which is a good thing.

Cassandra: A bit funny how it took a pandemic to make Gotham a bit peaceful.

Dick: Exactly my point. Now, with that said, we will still be doing patrols starting at 11. Tim, this is your week on sanitation duty. Throughout the day we will train a bit harder than normal. There will be scheduled times and you will each have partners. Try to train no less than two and a half hours a day. Training should include sparing, cardio, strength, and tumbling. Try to spar with someone new every week.

Dick: Also Jason, you remember when you said you wish you could fall like me.

Jason: I was being sarcastic.

Dick: I will finally be teaching you how to do pommel horse 1 hour a week like you asked.

Jason: I will kill you.

Duke: Being honest, I’d like to try high bar and floor. I feel it will be very beneficial for me in the long run.

Dick: Awesome! You got it. Now everyone has until tomorrow to pick their partner, I know my partner will be Jason. 

Jason: Fuck you.

Dick: Also, last thing before I make the training schedules and routines, I need to address something. There are quite a lot of people in Gotham City still refusing to wear mask. During the day lets try to hand out mask with our own designs on them to everyone who we come across during the day. I already ordered them and they should be here by Saturday, so that is something we will be doing starting next week. 

*alarm sounds off in the batcave*

Alfred: It would seem there is a fire at Wayne Tower on the thirty-second floor.

Dick: Alright, Duke, Jason, and I will go to check it out. Everyone else do what you would normally do.

Tim and Bruce

Tim: Hey Bruce, I brought you some coffee!

Bruce: How many cups have you had?

Tim: Three large cups.

Bruce: After......

Tim: *mumbles* The five cups I had with breakfast.

Bruce: There we go.

Tim: Okay so what are we doing?

Bruce: Someone is trying to hack into my server. If they do so they will have unlimited knowledge of the companies upcoming projects, along with the identities of our persona’s.

Tim: How long do we have?

Bruce: 27 minutes. Try to locate the hackers location.

Nightwing, Red Hood, and The Signal

They all rushed to the thirtieth floor to help out and find that the firemen are ready to head to the floor. The three heroes turned on their oxygen tanks and they charged in with the firefighters. Half of the entire floor was covered in flames. They noticed a conference room with a few people inside and Jason rushed to the door, pulling out his guns. He shot the door several times before kicking it down and escorting the people out. After that there wasn’t much left for them to do so they went back down. 

Fire Officer: Nightbird, that is the dumbest thing I have ever seen anyone do.

Jason: *laughs*

Dick: Thanks.

Fire Officer: Lets get you all checked.

Jason: The mask stay on though.

Alfred and Julia

Alfred: What are we watching

Julia: Well, I thought that with both of us being former spies, I thought we could watch an American film franchise called Mission Impossible.

Alfred: And tear it apart by it’s inaccuracies!

Julia: Yes!

Alfred: Sounds wonderful!

Nightwing, Red Hood, and The Signal

Time- 19:37

Medic: They seem fine, no way of telling for sure though without their mask off.

Duke: So we’re good to go, awesome!

Fire Officer: The fire upstairs has been put out.

Dick: Good.

Tim: Dick, are you still at Wayne Tower?

Dick: Yes, what’s up?

Tim: We’re dealing with a hacker trying to get into the server at Wayne Inc. The hacker is inside the building. We have 16 minutes and 55 seconds......

Dick: Say no more! We’re on it!

Fire Officer: There’s been another fire across town. Lets move out!

Dick: Duke, investigate the fire upstairs. If I’m not mistaken, it should be arson.

Duke: Got it.

Dick: Jason, stay here there is a hacker inside the building, You have 16 minutes to find the person or else Batman is doomed.

Jason: I guess I’ll look. 

Dick: GO! NOW!

Jason: Got it Nightbird!

Nightwing

Dick follows the fire fighters down to the floor and tells the guard to let no one in or out of the building. He rides his motor cycle, tailing the fire trucks to the scene of the next fire. He runs into the apartment complex, turning the oxygen tank on. He notices the first floor is clear so he rushes up the stairs to notice the flames stretched out across it. He dives through them and hears pounding on one of the doors. He sees the other residents and grabs two children, takes out his grappling hook, and shoots it towards the ceiling. He leads them down and has them run out of the building. He gets back up to the scond floor and takes the parents and lets them run out as well. When he saw them leave, he jumped back up to the second floor and ran into the door 3 times before finally breaking it down. The flames were now getting closer. He get back up and saw Barbara giving him a hand up.

Barbara: Need some help?

The Signal

Duke: What do you smell?

Fire Marshall: Alcohol.

Duke: Exactly.

Fire Marshall: So.... why did you ask?

Duke: Just wanted to check. Red Hood, Red Robin, Nightwing. Our hunch was right. We have an arsonist inside the building. Some witnesses have said they saw a maintenance worker carrying bottles of vodka in his cart. If I had to assume, both fires are a distraction from finding the hacker meaning there is an accomplice to whoever is in the building.

Jason: Good, now I’m pretty sure I speak for Nightbird when I say this, start helping me search for this bastard.

Duke: On it.

Tim and Bruce

Time- 10:17

Harper: I came as fast as I could.

Bruce: Good, set up your computer.

Harper: Why isn’t Alfred helping?

Bruce: Shut up and get to work.

Harper and Bruce try to fight off the hacker as well as they could. 

Harper: Awesome!

Bruce: Not good enough though.

Tim: What’s up?

Harper: We bought ourselves a few extra minutes.

Tim: Nice.

Time- 13:38

Nightwing and Batgirl

Dick: Damn, you’re a sight for sore eyes!

Barbara: Come on! We have one more floor!

The two rush to get the last residents out of the building. The flames were starting to be extinguished by the fire fighters outside of the building. Parts of the ceiling began to collapse as they made it to the top floor. Grabbing the residents they set them down on the floor and rushed to the exit, only to find it blocked by parts of the ceiling.

Dick: Stand back! Batgirl, help me clear the exit.

The two move the rubble out of the way and the residents flee the building. Both ask the authorities if they needed help, but were turned down. When the fire was put out, both walked in, and under the heavy smell of smoke, was also the scent of alcohol.

Red Hood and The Signal

Time- 8:47

Jason was on the twentieth floor, searching, when he got the announcement.

Tim: THE HACKER IS ON THE FORTY-FOURTH FLOOR!!!

Jason: Signal, where are you?

Duke: Fortieth!

Jason: I’ll see you on the forty-four! 

Jason rushed up the stairway and ran up to the forty-fourth floor to see Duke there taking on three men. Jason then pulled out his pistols and shot all three with non-lethal rounds. 

Duke: Had to take away my fun, didn’t you?

Jason: Yes! 

Tim: Did you guys get them?

Duke: All hostiles are taken down.

Tim: Awesome!

Alfred, Julia, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Selina

Alfred: Why would he choose the safe house. If this were reality Ethan would have already been arrested.

Stephanie: Alfred, we love you to death, but your ruining an amazing movie.

Julia: The movie ruined itself by it’s inaccuracies. Plus this is our bonding time, you guys weren’t even invited!

Selina: Yeah, but you guys took the only copy and once we saw you watching it, we just really wanted to watch it, too.

Harper: Oh, cool! Mind if I join?

Alfred: *sighs* The more the merrier.

Nightwing and Batgirl

Dick: Alright, our guy lives in apartment 22 on 1807 Zics Street. Let’s head there now and see if we can find him.

Barbara: Lets head there. Want to get something to eat after?

Dick: Definitely.

Dick and Barbara get on their motorcycles and drove to the apartment where they found the arsonist. They tied him to a lamppost and Barbara informed the GCPD the location of the arsonist.

 Dick: So, how has your dad been doing?

Barbara: Not too bad. He’s been a bit under pressure but he’s doing fine. How is it being a dad at the mansion?

Dick: Ohhh god. I had the thought once and decided to leave that duty to Alfred. 

Barbara: *Barbara laughs*

Dick: I help him a bit. It’s been so difficult acting like a grown up. I had to seriously step in when Alfred called Jason “Master Todd”

Barbara: Please explain further?

Dick: Well, because Jason is, well, Jason, he lost his shit because he’s “not a snooty ass rich motherfucker, Alfred!”

Barbara: Damn, I could so see that.

Dick: Yeah, and it doesn’t help that Bruce totally lost the ability to interact with other people. The other day Damian was acting up and Bruce picked him up and shouted “WHERE’S THE OFF BUTTON!”

Barbara: *laughs harder*

Dick: *laughs himself* You should have been there, it was funnier in person.

The two stare at the sky for a bit as they watch the sun set. Barbara leans her head on Dick’s shoulder and they both relax. 

Dick: I love you Babs.

Barbara: I love you too, Dick.

Dick

They both left the rooftop they were sitting on at around 8:30. Dick had missed Barbara so much and was glad to have been able to see her. He didn’t care he broke one of Bruce’s rules. It wasn’t like Bruce was going to remember anything from the first week anyway. He got into the batcave and began creating workouts for everyone. He then went to the bathroom and took a shower in the batcave, and then went upstairs. He walked into the media room to see Alfred and Julia spending time as a family.

Dick: Aw, isn’t this sweet!

Julia: Get the fuck out Dick!

Dick: Damn, okay.

Dick then walked into the kitchen to see everyone in there.

Tim: Someone took long getting back to the mansion.

Stephanie: What happened.

Dick: I met up with Babs.

Everyone: WHAT!!!!

Damian: No fair. If I knew I could have been with Jon this entire time I would have!

Selina: You’re not able to Damian, and you knew you weren’t suppose to interact with anyone outside of the mansion.

Dick: Chill. Everything is fine. We’re more likely to get sick on patrol then by hanging out with each other. What’s up with Alfred and Julia?

Jason: They got tired of everyone ruining their family bonding time so they kicked us out.

Dick: That makes sense.

There was a knock at the door, so Dick goes to open it.

Dick: Helloooo...............

Helena: Hey Dick, you look great!

Dick slams the door shut and covers the door.

Jason: *shoves Dick to the side and opens the door* Hey, Helena! It is so awesome to see you! What are you doing here?

Helena: I’m here to stay and help. Where should I put my bags?

Jason: You could put them in Dick’s room for right now! You remember where that is, right?

Helena: Yep!

Dick: coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. *starts falling to the floor*

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 25

Make some dentist appointments after this chapter. (I'm not sure it applies to all)

Sorry for being late. It's my little sister's birthday today and I opted to eat food.

Table of Contents

Off the Grid

"Alex"

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

The worst part of being stomped on the face is that at the end of the day, your girlfriend would end up seeing it. This was what Alex was worried about the moment he heard the helicopter approached their location. But a part of him wanted to just lay down by the bed under Samantha's care. 

Alex expected Soap to be the first one greeting the women, but he wasn't around. He guessed that after all the chasing and the climbing, he opted to take a rest instead of facing them tired. The house was very accommodating on it's own. He didn't need to worry about entertaining everyone else.

Just as he expected, he already saw the frown on Samantha's face as soon as her eyes met his. The same frown from his imagination was manifested before him.

"Alex, Are you okay?" she ran towards him and touched his bruised cheek. Alex tried to look okay but he couldn't help but hiss at the pain.

"A little. I couldn't lie to you now, can't I?" he managed a chuckle. Samantha held his hair and that signaled Alex to lower himself a little so she could kiss him on the forehead.

"Let's get you healed up." She muttered.

"Not until I'm done helping unload these." He suggested. Samantha wanted him to skip out on helping but Alex's face was eager and she didn't want to argue with that.

"Fine."

"My room is the third door by the stairs… that is if you want us to stay in one room together."

"Of course I do, Alex." She smiled and blew a kiss on the air as his lip was too bruised to receive it.

Alex couldn't help but smile. He could feel his insides do a little dance of joy while he's carrying luggage to the second floor, placing both their bags beside each other. Inside their room, that they're going to share.

He knew they'd done this before, but the idea of getting the room all to themselves was different. They are able to move freely without worrying what they might do. And he wanted to hug her, kiss her and whisper soft words in her ear without making everyone else around them all judgy.

Dinner flew by and Roach took the girls out for a tour, Alex took this time to shower before Samantha would come nurse his wounds. He stood in front of the sprinkling hot water, his face looked up, letting the warm shower revitalize his tired muscles. It was no doubt relaxing as he closed his eyes, cleared his thoughts and let his mind ease a bit.

They're safe, Samantha's got her memories back, and they're together now. The New York attacks were over and both Shepherd and Nero were off the grid. They're planning something big and all they could do was prepare for the worst. He doesn't have to shoulder anything as of now and he should rest and recover.

After a few minutes of meditation, Alex was interrupted by a smooth touch that embraced him from behind. He could feel her skin sink against his as she tightly held him, her cheek leaned on his back.

"Alex." Samantha whispered, he couldn't barely hear it against the sound of the shower.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" she sobbed. Alex raised an eyebrow and held her hand, turning around to meet her beautiful face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, the question echoed against the glass walls and bounced to the rest of the bathroom.

"On the ride here. I took a nap… then I remembered something. Before I even got to that Russian hotel I…" she sobbed. Alex pulled her closer and hugged her, she didn't have to worry. They're going to fix this together.

"I gave them the I.P. Address…" she cried. Her tears mixed with the sprinkle of the shower. Despite being already wet, Alex still wiped it off with his thumbs.

"You didn't do anything wrong… You didn't give it away… They forcibly took it from you." Alex told her, his face was angry toward Shepherd. One day he'll finally get his revenge.

"B-but…" she tried to retort, but Alex cut her off by kissing her soft lips, his tongue immediately entered her mouth as soon as she gave him permission. He kissed her hoping it would soothe her worries away, making her feel that he was there no matter what. Her moans made him comfortable that he's doing the right thing, that he's telling her that he's going to be there. So he pushed her toward the cold bathroom wall, tilted his head and showed her what he really felt towards her.

The next morning Alex and Samantha were tasked to fly Nikolai back home. The guy was missing the colder environment and since they didn't have anything at the moment, it'd be best to let him go for now. The team still owed him a cargo plane which was left back at the S.A.S. base. They'll have to deal with that after all of this is over.

Alex didn't have anything to do regarding this task, Samantha just made a few special calls and the next thing they knew, they were already waving goodbye to the Russian.

"Glad we have him on our side." Alex chuckled, hovering his arm as it reached her farther shoulder. Samantha leaned toward him as soon as she caught him doing the gesture, as they took short steps, Alex's leg clumped against the cement.

"You okay with that leg?" Samantha wondered, looking down then back to Alex.

"I got used to it, really. It's not much of a bother once you get used to it." He smiled, wiggling the fake leg, almost showing off at how good he was using it. 

"Is there something wrong with it?" He asked. Samantha's cheeks started to blush red and Alex had no actual idea what was going on in her mind.

"No no. I'm just curious. That's all… Still… it must be hard walking like an incomplete part of a whole." She consoled to which Alex replied with a laugh.

"What's funny?" She asked as Alex used his already clinging hand on her shoulder to pull her closer for a kiss.

"You already complete me, Samantha." He said. His face was too serious to be joking and yet Samantha laughed.

"You know what?! All these corny and cheesy dialogue is my thing. You complete me too, Alex. I…" she paused, staring at Alex's eyes. Alex quickly saw through her gaze, there was a particular sparkle in her eyes. The same sparkle he'd been noticing every time they got intimate. It made his heart beat so fast that he could almost predict what she's going to say next.

He placed a finger on her mouth to stop her from talking. He wanted to say it first. He wanted to be the one whose life changed because of her and not the other way around.

"I love you, Samantha Coleman." he said. Tears. Tears were the first thing he saw once he let out those words. 

"How dare you… finish my sentence." she croaked. She had the idea of cracking a joke between the sweetest of moments. He really liked that about her.

"I wanted to say it first." He whispered, inching his face closer once again. Samantha's eyes were already half closed and Alex knew what he needed to do. He planted another chaste kiss on her soft lips, but this time, Samantha surprised him by gently biting his lip, making the former CIA flinch. He chuckled and kissed back once again, pushing her toward the gazebo until they found her pinned on one of its tougher beams.

"Oh." She giggled as Alex's hand trailed on her side, squeezing her soft skin gently. Alex's smile beamed wide as he knew her reaction. 

"Are we really going to cause a scene here? Mr. Alex-?" She teased, her train of thought paused after not knowing his last name.

He chuckled in a lower register, low enough that he could feel Samantha react to it.

"It's Alexander Collins. But please, just call me Alex." he muttered, planting a kiss on her neck, Samantha moaned inappropriately, sending Alex on an excited rush.

"All right Mr. Collins. I think we should stop now. Our audiences are feeling a little uncomfortable right now." she turned to France, Maxine and Roach, who were watching 'respectfully'.

Alex waved and smiled apologetically, noting the almost embarrassed expression on Maxine's face, the slightly smirking Francine and Roach's hidden thumbs up.

"I'm sorry guys. We'll be off now." he said, escorting Samantha back to the house.

The day went by and Alex was more than happy that he got to spend the rest of the day with Samantha. Hell, even the thought of waking up spooning her was more than heavenly. 

Now, he lay gently on his bed while Samantha was out to cleanse his bruises.

"Ow. Careful nurse, I'm quite vulnerable..." he winced playfully.

"Now, now, my little patient. This will just hurt a little." She played along, wiping a soft cotton ball on his bruised cheek.

"Will there be any sort of injection? I hate injections." he groaned, fake sobbing.

"Oh? You hate injections? I personally thought you were amazing administering them?" She teased, slightly blushing at her green joke.

Alex quickly caught wind of her joke about injecting and immediately burst out laughing.

"I can't believe you said that." he said, laughing in between his words, almost choking.

"Kidding aside… I almost forgot something…" She said, setting aside her medical tools. She got up and gently straddling on his body, making Alex groan a little and hold on to her waist.

"What could you have possibly forgotten?" he asked, his face full of curiosity.

She leaned in closer to him and whispered three words that made Alex smile in delight.

"I love you." she whispered and a kiss followed. Alex knew from that moment on that he was more than willing and ready to spend the rest of his life.

Next Chapter : What's Behind Door Number Two?

Notification Squad my Beloved

@samatedeansbroccoli @smokeywhalee @enderio @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach @beemybee

[msmarvelwrites]

The Winter Soldier - Part 15

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: swearing, gun violence. 

W/c: 2.9k

A/n: I’m double posting for @kalesrebellion​ because she called me out. So here you go babe. Also, I did an embarassing amount of research trying to come up with the basics for the serum. But I concluded that this is fiction and it doesnt really matter. But if you’re ur a science major and this doesnt make sense please dont come for me lol

There are moments in your life that define you. Moments you look back on after everything and wonder, if you had listened to your gut, maybe it would be different. This was one of those moments. Bucky’s world shattered around him as Natasha’s words rang through his comm. 

“We’ve been compromised, Buck. I’ve been hit. They got Y/n.” Her voice, broken and solemn. 

No. 

Dammit, NO.

This isn't how this was supposed to happen. This was an easy job. Only a few Hydra agents resided in this compound. The whole thing felt like a dream. One he was completely and utterly unprepared to handle. How could he let this happen. He should have been there. 

“Dammit. What's your location? I'm coming to you.” He shouted. His blood began to boil and he heard your heavy breathing on the other side. You were running. “Y/n, please come in. Please, doll. Where are you?” Bucky hated how broken he sounded. He knew the rest of the team could hear his begging, but he didnt care. He couldn't. He just needed to get to you. 

“You always were a fighter. Right till the bitter end.” A man’s muffled voice came through his comm. He didn't recognize it as anyone he knew, but there was something familiar about it. A distant memory he couldn't quite piece together. Before he could speak, your voice broke though, a small whisper shattering his heart and sending him into a blind rage. 

“Bucky” You breathed, choking on a cough. 

“Y/n. I’m coming to you, doll. Don't worry, I've got you. I’m going to get you out of this. Don't worry, I’m coming.” He pleaded, but was only met with static, and then finally silence. The rest of the team kept quiet, waiting for any kind of sign of life from you. When none came, Nat spoke up. 

“Guys, we gotta get out of here. They've set off a security alert, this place is going to blow in three minutes.” Her voice was now back to its usual tone, but Bucky knew better. She was scared, he could hear it.  “ There’s no sign of her out here. She’s just… gone.” He could hear that she was running now.

“Bucky, we gotta go.” Steve spoke from beside him. Bucky’s head snapped to his friend, eyes wide and body still frozen. 

“We can't leave. Not without her.” He all but begged. 

“You heard Natasha, she’s on her way.” He paused, “Nat, you got the files?” He spoke into his earpiece, motioning Bucky to follow him to the entrance they had come through. 

“Yeah, I have them. Thanks for asking by the way. I’m great, two more bullet holes in my gut, but yeah, files are more important.” She scoffed, causing Steve to roll his eyes.  “I’m headed to the entrance right now.”

“No, I’m not leaving without Y/n!” Bucky tried to pull away from Steve, but he was stronger. A fact he would never admit to the guy, his head was already big enough. 

“She’s not here Buck. They wouldn't blow the compound with her in it.” He persisted.

Sam’s voice interjected, “Jet’s fired up, you guys better get the fuck outta there. We have less than a minute.” 

Bucky and Steve ran through the dark hallways together until they almost slammed into Nat’s small frame. He gasped when she appeared in the hollow moonlight. Her face was contorted in pain, something he was all too familiar with. Guilt.

“I lost her. I’m so sorry, it was my job to-” She broke off into a sob. Bucky wanted to agree. Yell that if she was a better agent- a better person his girl would be coming home with them. But he couldn't... This was on him. He knew it was a bad idea to bring you on the mission. He deserved all the blame. 

“She’s not dead. Not yet anyways. But we will be if we don't get out of here.” Steve yelled over the alarms blaring in the hallway. 

Bucky and Nat both nodded, and followed Steve across the field. Before they could reach the jet, the warehouse behind them rumbled before letting out an earth shattering explosion, sending the two of them flying into the ground. Without hesitation, Bucky grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her from the ground. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and all but dragged her body onto the jet. 

“Vision’s been alerted we need medical. He’s been staying at a safe house in Munich. We can be there in thirty minutes.” Steve spoke urgently, rifling through the cabinets of the jet looking for the first aid kit. 

“Seriously guys, it's a flesh wound. I’m- Ah!” Nat screamed in pain as the jet hit a spout of turbulence. 

“Like you were saying.” Wanda smirked, placing her hands carefully on Nats' wound. Her hands glowed a deep red as she tried to relieve the pain. The spy’s face relaxed, but only for a moment before she was back to worried. 

“He’s alive, Buck.” Nat spoke, and when she did, he could hear the fear in her words. 

“Who?” Steve demanded, but Nat’s eyes stayed put on Bucky’s. 

“Tommy. She said his name in the hallway. It was him, Buck. He’s not dead. He’s the one that shot me, the one that took her.” Nat flinched in pain as Wanda's hands fell from her side. 

“That’s not possible.” Bucky shook his head. “Steve found my mission file. I killed him. I remembered it. You just don't walk away from that.” 

“Well, clearly you do.” Nat spoke sarcastically, pointing to the gushing holes in the body. 

“So Tommy’s alive? And he’s Hydra now?” Wanda asked, suddenly realising her hands were not on Nat’s wounds anymore. She placed them back silently apologising. 

“And he’s got Y/n.” Bucky added, his jaw clenched in anger. 

“We’ll get her back.” Steve spoke. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder which he quickly shrugged off, pacing back and forth through the small aircraft. 

“I know we will. And i’m going to finish the fucking job and tear that prick in two.” He seethed, mostly to himself. 

He tried to focus on the task at hand. Desperately brainstorming how to get to you, but his mind was spirling. How could he just leave you? How could he have been so stupid? The sound of his name leaving your lips echoed around him, only fuling his growing rage. 

“All our tactical suits have hidden trackers in the sleeves. We will hear it go off, but until then we wait. They cant have gotten far.” Steve started as the jet began its descent. “We're almost at the safe house. We’ll track her from there. In the morning, we’ll head out.”

“Morning? That's too long. She could be-'' Bucky cut himself off, too broken at the thought to finish that sentence. “I’ll find her myself tonight.” He grumbled. 

“Oh no you don’t. We’re a team, Buck. We do this together. Vision will be able to enable her tracker. But we need to work together. We can't lose anybody else to impulse decisions.” Steve scolded. 

He knew his friend was right but it didn't make it any easier to agree. All Bucky wanted to go but get you back. Keep you safe and never let anyone touch you again. He tried to keep his distance before, he really did, but that was out the window now. There wasn't a chance in hell he was leaving your side after this. As for the man that ripped you from his grasp, oh boy… He tried not to make a habit out of fantasizing murder, mostly as it resulted in the Winter Soldier coming out of the shadows, but if that was the case with Tommy, so be it. Only when Bucky stood in a pile or carnage and gore and blood would he finally feel peace again...

“We're coming up on the safe house. Y'all ready to bail?” Sam's voice tore Bucky out of his thoughts, and thankfully so. He was sure it was leading to a very destructive path. 

“Buck, help us get Nat inside. Wanda and Sam - sweep the area, make sure no one has followed us. I’ll fill Vision in on what's happened and see if he can turn on Y/n’s tracker now.” Steve commanded as he hopped out of the jet. 

“Can you stand?” Bucky asked, dipping down to tuck Nats arm around his shoulder, helping her up. She nodded reluctantly, wincing in pain as she moved. 

The safe house was a small cabin in the middle nowhere. Munich was only a few minutes down the road but the thick coverage of trees that surrounded the cabin made it feel secluded and hard to be spotted from above.  If they weren't followed, no one would ever know they were here. 

Bucky helped Nat inside, letting Steve and Wanda take over once they were through the door. Before he could enter, he stopped, taking a moment to gaze upon the sun rising over the mountains. In a few hours, he’d be with you again. He just had to make it until then, and pray to whatever god would still have him, that you were alive. 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Продолжай копать. Нам надо её найти.” Keep digging. We have to find it. The voice rang in your mind, waking you from the recurring nightmare. Visions of Tommy and that boyish smile that once brought so much happiness.. His voice, the way it used to say your name, now only causing you ache. 

“Wait, rewind there! Вернись. That’s it.” The voice spoke again, echoing around the room. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in your surroundings, but all you were met with was darkness. You could feel movement around you, but the blindfold tied around your eyes masked their faces. 

“I’m positive she told me what was in that serum.” His voice caused your heart to just about leap from your chest. You knew that voice anywhere. 

“You better be right. You're as good as dead to me otherwise.” Another man spoke. 

“No I’m sure. Wait! Right there. Replay that part.” Tommy asserted. 

Suddenly a headache burned through your temples, scorching the inside of your eyes. You screamed in pain as it coarsed though your body until an image appeared in your mind. It replayed over and over, making you dizzy. 

“Whatcha doing?” Tommy cooed, taking a seat on your desk. 

“Just trying to find the right components.” You spoke, not taking your eyes microscope as you examined the petri dish below. 

“Cummon, baby. You've been at this for hours. Come eat something.” You looked up, Tommy stood there with that big goofy smile you loved so much. 

“I’ve almost got it. Just a little longer.” You reassured him, rolling in your chair and picking up another sample and analysing it. 

“What exactly is, it?” he asked, emphasizing the word. 

“If I mix the steroid with-” 

Another shrieking jolt of pain seared through you as the memory disappeared, leaving you trembling. 

“Go back, we almost had it!” Someone yelled from beside you. 

You tried to scream, to beg them to stop, but it was no use. Before you could try again, the same horrible pain erupted through your body, ripping you back to the distant memory. 

“If I mix the steroid with human blood, it does as it's designed.  But taking into account the theory of nuclear transmutation, we can assume given the right element we can use the serum to absorb its surroundings, right?” You spoke, like it was common sense. 

“Sure…” Tommy chuckled. 

“So, strip down the original serum, add radiation to its compound, now it needs the ability to absorb energy… What element do we know has that power?” it wasn't a question, nor did you think Tommy would know the answer so you continued, “Water, and our bodies are basically made of that. So in turn, if we can create the original serum mixed with high levels of radiation, inject the person, granted you're not killed by that high levels of toxicity, we're looking at a new type of Super Soldier. One that could, in theory, mutate around the serum and absorb its surroundings!” You finally finished.

“I have no idea what any of that means… But it sounds cool. Now put the vile down, and eat something.” He laughed, grabbing the sample out of your hands and carefully placing it on the table next to you.

“Thats it!” Someone shouted. “Of course, why didn't we think of this. Call the commander, tell him we found it.” 

You felt your body twist in agony, but soon the memory left, leaving you back in the dark with disembodied voices echoing around you. 

“What do you want me to do with her?” a man asked. 

“I don't care. убить её?” Kill her? You froze at his words. Even if you could move, your hands were tied down to the chair. Gentally you wiggle your fingers, careful not to draw any attention to yourself. Not that you would be able to tell. The ring that Shuri had made you was still there. If you timed in right, and you still had Wanda’s borrowed power, you could use it to untie yourself and hopefully get the fuck out of this hell hole. 

“Kill her?” Tommy choked. “You didn't say anything about killin’ her?” 

“You should be thankful. The girl’s been sharing a bed with the same man who killed you once before. In fact, I’m so pleased with your work developing this memory decoder that I’ll give you the honour.” The man spoke, shuffling around the room. “Here, tell me when you're done having your fun.” A few heavy footsteps later, and you finally heard the door close. The silence was deafening, but eventually, Tommy let out a deep breath and took a step towards you, ripping your blind fold off. 

You squinted as you tried to acclimate your eyes to the lighting of the room. It was small and dark, but a few dim lights hung above you illuminating Tommy's features. Once upon a time you would have described them as strong and rugged. Now they seemed to loom over you, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, softer than you expected. You quickly clocked the pistol in his left hand and tried to suppress a scoff. 

“Am I okay?” You gawked at him. “You just dug through my head like a sand pit. No- no I’m not okay you shit head!” You screamed. 

Tommy chuckled, using the gun to scratch the back of his neck. “Touché…” He spoke, pulling up a stool and plopping himself down on it infront of you. “I missed that attitude baby. Really, these past couple years have been hell without you. These guys are really scary, but I told em- I said, my girl will know what to do. And you did, baby. I never doubted you.” His voice was like honey. Thick and sickenly sweet. 

“What are you talking about?! I thought you were dead!? I mourned you, asshole. And you've been alive this whole time, working against me?” You couldn't believe how cavalier he was being about this. Tommy only shrugged, fuling the rage inside you. 

“Nah, it's not like that. I was dead, really I was. But then Hydra came and BOOM I was back. They promised me that they’d keep me safe, as long as I could help em get that serum you were always talkin’ bout. Said they wanted to give it time in your system, make sure it didn't kill ya.” He started, narrowing his eyes slowly, “You grieved me? That's a funny way of putting it. Cause from what I saw in that head of yours, you were pretty chummy with that Soldier.”  

You couldn't stifle the scoff that erupted in your mouth. “You're kidding right? Jesus, Tom. They brainwashed me. And I don't need to explain myself. You're sick, you know that?  How could you do this? Do you have any idea what they're going to use that serum for?” You fired the questions off like explosives into his chest, but he didn't even flinch. 

“I don't really care. They told me if I gave em’ your little recipe, they’d let me go.” He shrugged. 

“And so what? Now you're going to kill me?” 

“No… Maybe. I haven't really decided yet.” He looked down at the pistol like it was the first time he really noticed it was there. Contemplating your death like he was deciding between his morning coffee. 

“I would get going on that if I were you.” You lifted your hands, wiggling your wingers playfully “Really, Tommy, you're not cut out for this line of work.” You spat, jumping from your seat and landing a hard kick to his gut, sending him flying back. The gun ricocheted off the ground and hit the wall, but before he could react, you grabbed it. In one swift move you turned the safety off and placed your finger on the trigger. 

“Cummon baby, let's talk about this.” He raised his hands in surrender. “You wouldn't shoot me.” 

You cocked a brow, “You sound really confident in that statement. Especially for a boy who was debating my death a moment ago.” You argued. 

“Dont take it personally, baby. Anything you can do, I can do better. Remember?” You smirked. 

................................................................................................................................

A/n: Another Cliff hanger? Yes. Do I know how to wrote anything else? No... My bad lol. I hope your enjoyed this one as much as I did writing it! As always, @cutie1365​ is the bomb dot com for editing this for me. Tommy sucks, we both agree. I hope he gets whats coming to him... please leave some love and reblog if you read it! 

@kalesrebellion​

@projectcampbell​

@calwitch​

[flamencodiva]

Who Do You Think You Are? 5 - Mutual Pining

Description: Y/N Y/L/N and Dean Winchester seem to bump into each other quite frequently. What happens when these two hunters rub each other the wrong way?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Bingo Square: Mutual Pining 

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of Child Neglect, Mentions of Drug Abuse.

A/N: For SPN Dean Bingo Round One

Divider by @talesmaniac89​ 

“7” a voice called out as the sounds of slicing filled the warehouse. 

“10,” a female voice called back. “You’re getting slow in your old age Dean.” 

Y/N laughed as she turned and sliced the head of a vampire ready to charge at her. 

“11,” she sang. 

“You’re cheating!” Dean called as he sliced two vamps back to back. 

“Could you two not turn things into a competition?!” Sam’s annoyed voice called back. “Seriously I think I liked it better when you guys were angry at each other.” 

“Shut up, Sam!” Dean and Y/N shouted. 

The trio moved their way around the warehouse. Once they determined that the warehouse was clear they cleaned up the chaos and made their way out. Y/N and Dean leaned against the Impala drinking beer as Sam watched them. He could see the stolen glances between them and the lingering touches. But he could also see where Y/N pushed Dean away, and Dean allowed it. 

“I so, beat you,” Y/n smiled as she took a big gulp of her beer. 

“No way sweetheart,” Dean shook his head and nudged her. “I chopped off more heads than you.” 

“Oh Geez,” Sam sighed. “Are you guys really going to do this?” 

“Sam,” Y/N shook her head. “You just need to get laid.” 

“So do you,” Sam retorted. 

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. He glanced over at Y/N, she looked more relaxed now than she had in months. Since that time in the motel room where they relaxed and started their friendship over. She didn’t talk much about what happened, but he heard her crying some nights. Whatever it was he wanted to hurt whoever hurt her. 

“Trust me, Sam,” She gave him a wink. “I get plenty. Especially with the battery-operated ones.” 

“Oh, geez Y/N come on!” Sam groaned. “I mean you and Dean were--” 

Sam was interrupted by the familiar sounds of Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ coming from Y/N’s pocket. 

“Uncle T?” Y/N straightened her back. “Calm down, what’s going on?” 

In California, around five hours earlier. 

Nikki Sixx was returning home from his day at physical therapy. His shoulder was healing nicely and he was working hard to make sure he could get back to work. His wife, Courtney, was in charge of giving him his medications and keeping them out of reach. As a recovering addict, Nikki trusted her to keep him safe. Walking into the foyer, he found his youngest daughter, Frankie Sixx, waiting for him. 

“Hey, Frankie,” He gave her a hug. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah!” She returned his hug. “I came to drop off something I bought at an antique store!” Frankie took her Father’s hand and led him to the living room.  

There on the coffee table sat a rosewood and jade jewelry box. It gave Nikki a weird feeling that there was something wrong with it. Walking up to it he used his good arm to let his fingers dance along the wood. He studied the small doors on the box with the jade paneling.  

“I-- It’s,” Nikki rubbed his chin as he studied the jewelry box. “Where did you find it?” 

“There was this antique store on the strip and I just thought it would look cool in the living room.” Frankie shrugged as she made her way towards the couch. 

“Thank You,” Nikki chuckled. 

The two of them talked for about an hour before Frankie decided it was time to head to her apartment. Being a freshman in college was hard work. And Nikki was proud of all his kids, even the one who didn’t want him. Once Frankie had left, Nikki found himself alone in the house. Cortney was doing a photoshoot and wouldn’t be home until later. He decided to make himself a sandwich and settle in with a movie. 

As Nikki was watching the movie, the lights began to flicker slightly. Rolling his eyes he gave a small huff. 

“Must be an earthquake messing with the power,” he looked at his dog Houdini. The dog gave a small whine, almost as if he was afraid of something. “What’s wrong Houdini?”  

The dog let out a small whine before padding off out of the room. Nikki looked around wondering if something was amiss. With a heavy sigh, he settled back and concentrated on the movie. Not a minute later and he was shivering. The room began to feel cold.

‘Thief,’ A voice called.

“What?” Nikki said as he winced, sitting up straighter and looking around. “Who’s there?” 

Nikki shivered and let out a breath. His eyes furrowed together as he saw his own breath. 

“What the fuck?” he muttered. “When did the temperature drop?” getting up from the couch he made his way to the thermostat and tilted his head in confusion. “It’s at 75°,” he scratched his head and grumbled. 

‘Drunken murderer, and thief!’ the voice wailed again. 

Nikki turned to see a woman dressed in what he could only describe as a Victorian era dress, hair pinned up and her eyes glared at him. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed as he stood frozen in fear. 

‘Thief!’ it screeched before charging at Nikki and knocking him backwards. 

He winced in pain and held on to his repaired shoulder. Scrambling for his keys he didn’t want to stay and figure out what was going on. But he needed to get out of his house. Rushing to his car. He drove as fast and carefully as he could to Tommy's house.

“He said it was a ghost?” Y/N asked slowly as she looked at Dean and Sam. 

Rolling her eyes she let out a small huff as she heard her uncle explain everything that her father had told him. 

“And why would he want to call me?” she huffed and froze at whatever her uncle had said. “Mom? He mentioned my mother?” 

Dean watched as she scrunched her face up in confusion. He could tell she was trying to digest whatever her uncle was telling her. When she hung up, she looked to Sam and Dean and sighed. 

“Do you guys think you can help me out with a case?” she asked. “But I know it’s probably nothing. Last time I got a call like this, my brother tried to trick me with an EMF generator.” 

“Yeah,” Dean said, immediately earning a glare from Sam. “Sam and I can go as FBI or as some Detectives if you want?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” She made her way to her car before turning to them, “Just don’t use your Motley Crue aliases, or any of the rock aliases.” 

“Any reason why?” Sam asked as he raised his eyebrow at her. 

“Let’s just say that my dad and uncle are die hard rock fans and will tell right away when something is up,” she reasoned. 

“Sounds fair,” Sam said with a smile. “What’s the address?” 

After Y/N gave them the location, Sam and Dean couldn’t help but look at one another. 

“Is it me,” Dean let out in a huff. “Or did she seem nervous about us meeting her family?” 

“I mean, she’s told us plenty of times that her dad hasn’t been the best,” Sam reasoned. “Could be that she’s doing it as a favor to her uncle. She seems to get along with him.” 

Dean hummed softly as he nodded, “Yeah, maybe.” He stayed closely behind Y/N’s car as they made their way to their next hunt. 

“California,” Sam breathed. “We were last there…” 

“Was that ghost case on that movie set?” Dean breathed. 

“Yeah, you banged that movie star,” Sam let out a chuckle. 

“Those were good times,” Dean sighed as he reminisced.

“So you and Y/N are just friends?” Sam let out as he flipped through his book. 

“Yes, Sam, just friends. Can you drop it?” Dean growled. 

“I mean, you guys were pretty hot and heavy for a while and then--” he trailed off. “Did something happen?” 

“We’re better off as just friends, that’s all. It’s no big deal.”  Dean brushed him off. 

“Dean--” Sam began. 

“Don’t,” Dean spat. “We tried the benefits thing and it didn’t work. We decided being friends is better.” 

“That’s why you keep giving her the puppy dog look,” Sam muttered under his breath. 

“I do not!” Dean said as he looked at Sam. “one, I don’t have to give her the puppy dog look. And B, we’re just friends!” 

“You keep telling yourself that Dean,” Sam chuckled. “Besides, you guys keep sneaking glances at each other. I think it’s cute.”  

“We do not!” Dean scoffed. “I mean sure she can’t keep her eyes off me, but I do not sneak glances at her.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said as he lifted his hands up in defeat. “Just saying. You two are good together. So what’s the harm?” 

“You know the harm Sam.” Dean sighed. “We tried and it failed.” 

“No,” Sam argued. “You had an agreement and it failed. It is not the same as a relationship.” 

“Look can we drop it please?” Dean mumbled. 

Sam nodded and sat back in his chair. The drive to California and to Y/N’s uncle’s house was not too long, but it wasn’t a short ride either. Dean and Sam both whistled as Y/N’s car pulled up to a gate leading to a mansion. Slowly following behind Y/N, Dean wondered what kind of family Y/N came from. He knew her mom was a hunter, but she never talked about her dad being rich. Parking the cars, Dean watched as Y/N grabbed her bags and made her way towards them. 

“Okay,” she breathed. “Promise you won’t freak out.” 

“Why would we--” the question that was on Dean’s lips was answered the minute the door to the house opened and a tall skinny man with short black hair and a beard came running down the steps.

“Booger!” he called out as he enveloped Y/N in his arms. “Glad you came when I called. Your dad is shaken up. I mean he keeps talking about a ghost and I figured you could talk some sense into him.” 

“You could have called Gunner, Storm, Decker, or Frankie,” Y/N grumbled. “Why me?” 

“He insisted,” her uncle sighed. “Said that it had to do with your mom and that you would believe him.” 

Dean watched as Y/N nodded and motioned for him and Sam to get closer. 

“These are some detective friends of mine,” she said with a smile. 

“Detectives Smith and Smith,” Sam said with a smile. “No relation.” 

“Tommy Lee,” Dean let out in a high pitched choke. “You’re Tommy Lee. Your uncle is Tommy Fuckin Lee, Y/N!” 

“Yeah I noticed,” she smiled. “Unless he was taken over by aliens.” 

“Wait,” Dean pulled her back. “Your dad. You kept calling him--” the realization hit Dean like a ton of bricks. “You kept calling him Nick, holy shit your dad is Nikki Sixx!” 

“Please don’t remind me,” she breathed. “Look let’s get inside, deem it a hoax and that he’s on his pain meds and call it a day, okay?” 

Sam and Dean walked behind Y/N and Tommy making their way inside the drummers house. Dean couldn’t help but feel giddy at meeting some legends of rock. He was in Tommy Lee’s house! He was going to meet Nikki Sixx. Fuck, Y/N was Nikki Sixx’s daughter? He wasn’t sure how he should feel. On one hand, he loved the bassist. There was no doubt that his songs were hits. But then, there was the way Y/N talked about him and how she grew up. Dean stood back as he watched Y/N standing in front of her father, Nikki Sixx! But the look on Y/N’s face told Dean she wasn’t happy to be here. 

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” she sighed and looked to Dean and Sam. “Sixx, these are some friends of mine, Dean Smith and Sam Smith, no relation. They deal with this kind of thing.” 

“Y/N I was hoping that--” 

“Talk to them,” she snapped, “Whatever drug induced hallucination you got yourself into I want no part of it,” She spat. 

“Y/N your dad has been sober for years now! Trust me, this isn’t a drug induced hallucination,” Tommy said as he tried to plead with her. 

“It’s okay, Tommy,” Nikki sighed as he waved him off with his good arm, “This is my punishment for what I did to her during her childhood.” 

“Excuse us, Mr. Sixx,” Sam interrupted as he cleared his throat, “As your daughter said we are experts and we’d like to help,” he held out his hand for Nikki to shake. 

The bassist raised an eyebrow at him before reluctantly shaking Sam’s hand. “You can call me Nikki, Mr. Sixx makes me sound old,” the bassist joked, “How do you two know my daughter?” 

“Not your daughter! Only someone who shares your DNA,” Y/N huffed. 

“We work closely with her on certain projects,” Dean explained, “I gotta say, I love you band! I mean Kickstart My Heart is the ultimate get pumped song to really start your day. Also Take Me To The Top is a classic!”  

“Yeah,” Nikki shook Dean’s hand while looking at him curiously, “good to know you’re a fan. So… about my situation?” 

“Yes!” Sam said as he nudged Dean with his elbow, “Is there a place we could all sit to talk about what you experienced?” 

“Yeah, You guys can use my living room,” Tommy announced as he smiled at them, “Nikki can lead the way.” 

Y/N watched as Nikki led Sam towards the living room while Dean stayed behind. She couldn’t help but notice the look of concern over the hunters face as Tommy walked towards her. 

“Y/N, you okay?” Dean asked as he made his way towards her. 

“Fine,” she huffed, “you got follow after them, I’ll be right there.” 

“Okay if you’re sure,” Dean gave her a reassuring smile before turning around and following after Sam and Nikki. 

“He likes you,” Tommy spoke up, “And you are so crushing on him.” 

“Shut up,” Y/N scoffed, “We had a thing, it got complicated so I stopped it.” 

“Your dad is really spooked, Kid,” Tommy said running a hand across his face, “He really thinks he saw a --” 

“Ghost?” Y/N let out a small huff, “Please, Gunner got me back during his surgery and said the same thing only for me to figure out it was all fake. This is just another attempt to get me to talk to him and forgive him.” 

“Holding in all that anger isn’t good for you, and your mom--” 

“My mom died because of him,” she hissed, “He couldn’t protect me and she dumped his junkie ass!” 

“Hey--” 

“No! I brought my friends to help him and that’s it,” She growled, “I’m not here to make up with him, or be his daughter,” she clarified, “He never wanted me in the first place, and the guy you claim I’m crushing on? I’m not the type of girl he would go for in a relationship anyways.” 

Before her uncle said another word, Y/N stormed off towards his living room. She passed Dean who had squished himself against the wall having heard everything she said. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath before following behind her. Reminding himself that while she was wrong in not being his type, she was right about them trying. But then again, they didn’t really try to begin with. 

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Who Do You Think You Are? 

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[ashintheairlikesnow]

Whumptober 19: Survivor’s Guilt

TIMELINE: Takes place in the Iris Michaelson, Teen Badass AU of the Fillis Angst Parade AU - look, @whump-tr0pes and I make our own fun, and by “fun”, I mean we make “Isaac and Finn suffer”.

Basic Plot: Fourteen years ago, Finn Dunham and Ellis Price were taken captive. The team has never been able to rescue them, and knows only that Finn lives life as Patrick Michaelson’s plaything and Ellis teaches at a Syndicate dayschool and tutors the Michaelson’s adopted teenage daughter. When Iris Michaelson sends a message to the famous rebel Isaac Moore, he can’t help but answer it.

CW: Referenced noncon/dubcon, referenced torture

“If this is a trap, I’m going to owe Gavin fifty bucks.” Vera checked and rechecked her handgun, as though it would suddenly be less loaded than it was just a few minutes before. Her jaw was set in a grim line, eyes flashing a kind of damped-down fire, embers ready to spark. Her thick black hair, showing growing hints of gray, was pulled into a tight bun at the nape of her neck, and she wore a pair of black pants and a tucked-in t-shirt, ready for the fight she was definitely expecting. “I don’t want to owe Gavin money, Isaac.”

“It’s not a trap,” Isaac replied, making his own nervous check and recheck of the table and chairs. “I don’t think it is, anyway. My instincts are saying it isn’t.”

“Your instincts-”

“My instincts have been spot-on for a decade, Vera. Just trust me on this. She let us pick the day, the time, the location… she let us give her the location with less than four hours’ notice, even. If this is a trap, she’s piss-poor at setting it.”

“Hm.” Vera snorted, and checked the second gun, the rifle they had leaning up, hidden on the other side of a doorframe, where Vera could pick it up and keep shooting if she had to.

If they needed the second gun, it would be because she was buying time for an exit, not because they had a shot in hell of getting a win.

“She wouldn’t have let me pick the spot with such short notice if she was planning on killing us,” Isaac said, but he felt less certain than his voice sounded.

“She’s a teenager, isn’t she? Who the fuck knows why teenagers do anything?”

It was Isaac’s turn to snort, then.

Their scheduled meeting space was a busted-out house an hour outside of the Michaelson Syndicate's largest stronghold city, a hidden place they had used, in the past, to run dissidents out of the city north, always north. A few years ago it’d been compromised, the house was half-burned down in the attack, but there was a room at the back that was still standing… more or less.

The girl had agreed readily to meet here - which Vera didn’t like, such a quick agreement made her think the youngest Michaelson child had some kind of plan, but it was a cleared space and Isaac had put his people all around. If the girl was bringing weapons, well, so were they. 

Isaac had sentries watching for miles around, covering every road. It paid to have his reputation, and have so many people willing to sign on to help him out with this. It didn’t hurt that his reputation meant he’d managed to scrape together enough money to pay them.

Not in money, no - Isaac had traded pallets of flour with boxes' worth of packets of yeast, a couple of beat-up cars that could at least be broken down for scrap, and cough syrup from their carefully hoarded medical supplies. But it had been enough to draw in some people willing to take the risk.

Sentries had reported by radio - one car, following the directions Isaac had given it. No escort cars, no one caught sneaking through the scrubby woods around the house. Just one, single, shining black Michaelson Syndicate vehicle, clearly marked, making no effort to hide.

She was following every rule she’d been given, right down to the tiniest detail.

Still, his nerves were on edge. What the youngest Michaelson child could possibly want with them - what had made her reach out to schedule a face-to-face - had had him up at night ever since the first message had come in, sent via dissidents who didn’t even understand what they were carrying in the envelope that no one dared open until it got to him.

My name is Iris Michaelson and I need your help. I know Finn Dunham and Ellis Price. Please call me. Then a number, everything written in a childish looping cursive, and the sight of Finn and Ellis’s names had meant Isaac could never have stopped himself from calling.

“I wonder-”

“If she wants a way out, I’m not doing it,” Vera snapped, interrupting Isaac’s thoughts, her fraying nerves given away by the edge in her voice. “We can’t handle that kind of heat, Isaac.”

“I can find her someone to go to for that,” Isaac said, not quite in agreement. “We’re not in the business of hiding Syndicate kids.”

“Oh, are we not?” Vera’s dry humor edged on sarcasm. “Because I’m wondering what exactly you think we did with Gavin, then-”

“Anymore. We’re not in the business of hiding Syndicate kids anymore. That was fifteen years ago, are you-”

“Ever going to let it go? Nope. I’m too old to escort a spoiled rotten rich kid into the real world again, and you’re sure as fuck too old to fall in love with another one.”

Isaac felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth, and shook his head. “Calm, Vera.”

“Isaac, so far you’ve turned Gavin into your goddamn life partner and tried to give Danny fucking Michaelson a place-”

“All I did was give him my name to help him get as far as he and Nate could get, when he was ready.” Isaac ignored the twist of bitterness inside him. “And he never was, was he? He’s still there.”

Some part of Isaac would always wonder why - when given the chance to get out - Danny had chosen to stay.

He sighed, and kept talking. “In any case, that’s not going to happen here. I’m not going to give her safe harbor with us. I’ve already spoken to some other communities, just laying groundwork. If she needs a place to run, she can have it - but she’ll have to give up a tremendous amount of intel to earn her sanctuary.”

“What kind of intel does a fucking fourteen-year-old girl have?”

“Don’t know, but she might have enough. She didn’t drop Danny’s name to meet with me, did you notice? She dropped Finn’s and Ellis’s names instead.” He shifted the chair on the other side, the one she’d sit in, this way and that until he had it just right. His own weapons - he carried two, one under his left arm and one on his right hip, plus another hidden taped under the table on his side - were fully loaded, too. All this to take on a single teenage girl.

Granted, it wasn’t just a teenage girl. Iris Michaelson happened to be the daughter of Patrick and Corrine Michaelson. Danny’s parents, and she was the beloved youngest child of the fucking assholes that had stolen his family, and kept them. The last Isaac had directly seen of Finn and Ellis was them being surrounded by Patrick’s men fourteen years ago as the car with him inside spit gravel and sped away.

Isaac swallowed, tightly, wondering if it was a good sign or a bad one that he rarely teared up when he remembered the moment, now. He’d cried too much for them already, and Iris Michaelson would be here soon.

“Would you have met her if she’d namechecked Danny?”

Isaac shook his head, jaw set firmly. “No.”

“But you will if-”

“Listen, maybe it’s about Finn, or Ellis,” Isaac said, softly. He barely dared hope. “Maybe she’s willing to trade intel on them. We know they’re still alive. We know Finn is-... that Finn has-”

“Yeah,” Vera said heavily. “Maybe. Hell, maybe the daughter has a heart. Anything’s fuckin’ possible, right?”

“Right.” Isaac took a deep breath. He heard the sound of car tires on gravel and raised his head, jaw setting into a determined line. “Here they are.”

“Showtime,” Vera said, voice low. She shifted back until she was mostly hidden in a doorway, covered enough in shadow that she wouldn’t be immediately visible unless she wanted to be. “I’ve got you covered, Isaac, but if it looks like it’s going south-”

“I’ll drop so you can start shooting and cover me until I can fire, too.” 

“Right. Again, just for the record-”

“You won’t owe Gavin money. I promise.” Isaac took a seat on his side of the table. He knew his own people littered the woods around the clearing, weapons at the ready. He’d brought a full fucking team to meet with a teenage girl. But as far as Isaac was concerned, Iris Michaelson might as well be more dangerous than just about anyone else he might meet with.

Isaac knew enough, from his short time with the Michaelson family going on fifteen years ago, to know that their Syndicate wasn’t entirely human.

Crunch of footsteps - Isaac counted. The girl’s steps - lighter, but firm. Projecting a false confidence, Isaac thought. She was trying to sound stronger than she felt. He knew the feeling. A large… man, he guessed, from the time between heavy footsteps. Bodyguard, probably as armed to the teeth as Vera was. He waited to count more but… heard no one. 

Isaac’s eyebrows furrowed, frowning. “Vera-” He turned to look back over his shoulder.

“I heard,” Vera whispered. “Eyes straight ahead, Isaac. I heard it. She’s only bringing one inside with her. Gavin might just owe me money.” Vera’s smile flashed white in the darkness. “Now that idea I like.”

She melted back into the shadows, and when Iris Michaelson entered the room, Isaac would seem entirely alone. 

Iris moved into the room with the unconscious certainty of power that every Syndicate son or daughter carried, although her steps were a little hesitant and her breathing tightly nervous, but that wasn’t what caught Isaac’s eyes. Her head was slightly down, auburn hair catching the dim light, a thick braid down her back with two smaller braids that ran on either side along her head to join the larger on. She also had a small, almost delicate-looking handgun on a small holster on her hip. 

He froze watching the lanky, gawky, all-elbows-and-knees girl in her soft black off-the-shoulder sweater, jeans, and combat boots that cost more than the gun on Isaac’s hip enter the room. He hadn’t seen hair quite that color since…

“Iris Michaelson.” His voice somehow came out even, but he heard himself speak as if from some far away place. His heart had started to race. “You requested a meeting with me?”

She raised her head to meet his eyes, and Isaac’s world broke apart. 

The shape of her face was unmistakable, as was the color of her hair. Her eyes were wide and a strangely startlingly clear hazel leaning towards brown, but…

Isaac heard Vera’s soft gasp behind him and knew she saw it, too.

Iris Michaelson was the perfect spitting image of Ellis Price - except for the fact that she had Finn Dunham’s hair and eyes. 

Iris came to a stop, warily, the hulking bodyguard - a brute of a man who seemed to carry himself with an absurd gentleness, with cropped dark hair and dark eyes in a pale face - that followed close on her heels putting his hand to his gun. Isaac automatically raised both his hands, empty and open-palmed, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

My God, I know who you fucking are, now.

Finn and Ellis had been captured during their flight from the Michaelson stronghold nearly fifteen years ago. They had disappeared into the depths of the Michaelson’s mansion, and every attempt the team made to understand what might have happened had dead-ended into the common knowledge that anyone who went into the Michaelson mansion never came back out of it alive. Isaac had refused to believe they were dead at first, and when no one hunted them down - no one found the safehouses Ellis and Finn knew about, no attacks were made on places the two of them might have given up under torture… he had refused to believe they were broken, either. 

The team had never been able to go back for them, it had been too dangerous a risk even though Isaac had tried and failed and tried and failed again. They’d been… gone. 

Not dead - there’d have been some closure then.

Just… disappeared.

The Michaelsons had adopted a baby girl - philanthropic move, adopting the orphaned child of their employees, a couple killed in an attack by rebels. They'd named her Iris, and she'd been raised as just as much a part of the family as Ryan or Danny. 

Then, shortly after the public announcement of Iris joining the Michaelson family, Finn popped back up. They were kept at Patrick Michaelson’s side, his willing, branded plaything, photographed sitting in his lap at parties, glass of champagne tipped to their lips, eyes dead and empty above a gorgeous smile, head tilted to the side as Patrick's lips pressed into the brand on the left side of their neck. 

Isaac had been shown photos of Finn - with Patrick’s mouth on theirs or their neck or his hand between their legs, Finn with their back pressed up against Patrick’s car like Finn was just an object, even right out in public, even in plain sight. Finn wearing perfectly tailored suits, Finn half-wearing those suits, Finn wearing nothing but a harness of knotted navy blue rope with their legs wrapped around Patrick Michaelson’s waist, smiling and begging for more, harder, deeper… 

Broken and leaning into Patrick’s touch, over and over with that same dead-eyed smile. Standing with Patrick’s arm around their waist, leaning into him, a carefully crafted expression of adoration there. Isaac had shed bitter tears over being too late to save them. Whatever had broken Finn was something Isaac could never have brought them back from.

Ellis… Ellis had been gone for more than four years. The team had eventually assumed Ellis was dead - Isaac had grieved their fucking death. He’d thought losing them must have been what broke Finn, made them give up and resign themself to life in Patrick Michaelson’s bed.

Then… an envelope, and a set of photos Isaac had never expected to see. Ellis, nearly five years after Isaac had last seen them, teaching children at a Syndicate school, heavily guarded but still clearly themself. Smiling for children but expression set in a furious grim line the second no one was looking. Photos snuck out of the city by secret dissidents, Isaac had spent so much of what little money he had on every bit of information he could get about the two of them.

They were miserable, captives held behind enemy lines for more than a decade. But they never tried to run, never tried to contact anyone. Never took the chance. Isaac had managed to leverage people who owed him favors, new and old contacts, but every attempt to get Finn alone at a party had ended in their soft refusal - an insistence that I'm happy living this way, thank you or I love Patrick Michaelson, who could want to escape from living like this? or please, I can’t talk about it, I have to love him - and they’d move back to Patrick’s side - and Ellis was never fucking alone at all.

They weren’t trying to be alone, though, and Isaac just didn’t understand it.

Isaac hadn’t been able to grasp why Ellis could look so unbowed and so… utterly Ellis, and still be there. Still go day by day to the school, teaching children their ABCs, spending their nights and weekends tutoring the Michaelsons’ youngest child like it was nothing. Like it was a life they wanted, evenings and weekends helping raise a fucking Syndicate daughter, a pampered little princess.

It should have been something Ellis would rather die than do.

Isaac had wondered, again and again, what could possibly keep Ellis from trying to escape. Now, staring as Iris Michaelson crossed the room and settled herself in a chair across from him, Isaac understood. 

He understood, and he would have made exactly the same choices they had made, for this.

Ellis had been tutoring their own daughter, grasping for time with her. Doing anything it took not to lose her. And so, in their own way, had Finn. Ellis wouldn’t try to escape because they wouldn’t leave their daughter - Finn was at Patrick’s side to stay as close to Iris as they could get. The two of them had spent fourteen years like this. 

Corrine Michaelson hadn’t taken Iris from a dead employee to raise as her own. 

She’d taken Iris from Ellis. 

The two of them had managed to leverage their captivity to stay close to her, no matter what they had to give up, no matter how much of themselves they had had to give away. Isaac had to blink away tears that blurred his vision, wanting to stare at Iris for as long as he could.

Was this why Danny had stopped contacting Isaac about possibly leaving himself? Had he gone radio silent and stayed here because he didn’t want to leave Iris, either?

She looked up at him uncomfortably, rubbing at one arm with her other hand. It was… strange, to see the child’s roundness in Ellis’s face with Finn’s brown eyes, the hint of nervous shyness that he’d never seen in his friend, his family. But… he couldn’t look away. “What? What are you staring at? I’m adopted.” 

Isaac just blinked, until Vera cleared her throat behind him and Isaac jumped a little, startled out of his thoughts. The world felt like it had just tipped sideways, all of it made sense now, all at once. Puzzle pieces falling to the floor and magically into place. “I-I’m sorry, I just-... I know. I’ve met your brothers-”

“I know.” Iris’s voice was low, but held a sharp edge. “They told me.”

“They did?” Isaac almost asked her what exactly Danny and Ryan had had to say about him, but he could feel Vera’s eyes on his back, and he cleared his throat again. “My apologies. You wanted to meet with m-me?”

His voice was trembling. If he wasn’t careful, he’d cry right here in front of her. How are they? How broken? Is anything left? How much did they lose just to keep you?

“Yes. I, um. I thank you for-... meeting with me today. For agreeing to meet.” Iris’s voice was carefully even, but it shook, too, giving away that Syndicate daughter or not, she was nervous. Probably scared - she didn’t have any good reason to believe Isaac wouldn't just kill her or take her hostage. She’d shown a lot of trust, having just the one bodyguard and probably a driver come with her. She’d shown a lot of courage.

That’s Finn and Ellis for you, Isaac thought, and his throat nearly closed again.

“I-I’m not here for my own sake,” Iris said, quietly, looking slightly down, as if reciting something from memory. Her face was red, and Isaac decided this might be as close to seeing Ellis blush as he was ever going to get. “I don’t-... I don’t. Um. I’m sorry, this is just. Wait, I was supposed to start with-... shit.”

Isaac’s lips quirked in the slightest smile - he heard Vera huff a laugh from her hiding spot. There’s Ellis’s daughter, through and through.

Iris’s bodyguard leaned over, putting a hand on her shoulder, whispering in her ear. He looked up at Isaac, then, without the instinctive loathing or derision that Isaac usually expected from the Syndicate guards he’d gotten into fights with in the past. 

“Right. Right, thanks, David.” Iris put a hand up over the bodyguard’s, looking back at Isaac, sitting up straight again. Her black sweater fell just lightly off one bony shoulder. Loyal to her, Isaac thought, watching the bodyguard. Not Patrick and Corrine. We can use that. He’s not a Syndicate bodyguard - he’s Iris Michaelson’s bodyguard. There’s something there, if I can just figure it out.

Jesus, what had Ryan and Danny said years ago? Not everyone in the Syndicate was human. Was this David human? Or something else?

His heart was pounding. He had to make it through this meeting and then he was going to let himself be crushed under the weight of what he could see only in hindsight, only with Iris sitting here in front of him. Now that he understood that his attempts to save them had been fruitless because they didn’t want to be saved - not if… not if it would take them from their daughter.

He understood, now. He got it, all at once. Finn wouldn’t leave Ellis. Ellis wouldn’t leave Finn. And they wouldn’t leave Iris. 

God, he could feel fourteen years crushing him, all at once. Freedom he’d had and they hadn’t, could never get back. And they’d only been caught because Isaac had been running from being turned into Danny’s unwilling plaything, against both his and Danny’s will.

If he hadn’t let himself be rescued, he could have stayed with Danny and Nate. Danny would have… would have tried to make it feel as close to normal as he could. 

Stop it. You couldn’t have known. You could never have known. This isn’t your fault. This isn’t-... this isn’t your fault.

Felt like it, though. If he’d just… belonged to the Michaelsons - spent his days with Danny - then Finn never would have, would they? They’d be a rebel medic still, probably, not a plaything who spent their time being felt up or worse by the Michaelson patriarch-

Stop it. She’s fucking talking, listen to her, Isaac.

“Ellis,” Iris was saying softly, “is my real mother. And they told me to tell you, um, something that proves-... that proves that I’m here for them. They said… it’s been a while, motherfucker. Is-.. is bitchboy behaving?” 

Isaac closed his eyes, briefly, wanting to laugh and cry and do both at once. Vera huffed a laugh from her position behind him and Iris jumped, glancing back at David, who had a gun up, out, and pointed right at Isaac in less time than it took for Iris to flinch back when she realized Vera was there.

“Hands where I can see them,” David said, voice deep, low, and flat.

Vera stepped out into plain view, holding her gun pointed upwards with the safety on and her finger off the trigger. “Here I am,” She said, carefully. “I’m going to lay this down on that side table. No shooting. Yeah?”

David held steady. “No shooting. I don’t put this down until yours is down.”

Isaac’s hands slipped down, as if lying in his lap, the get a grip on the gun under the table, ready to pull it free and aim. “She’s with me. I promise we’re not planning on hurting anyone today, if you’re not.”

“So have her put her gun down,” Iris said, lifting her chin.

Isaac felt a stab of surreal pride that this near-stranger made her voice so strong, that she seemed so brave. It fit, that Ellis’s daughter would be good at hiding her fears.

“Vera,” Isaac said softly. 

“I’m doing it.” Vera laid her handgun down on the side table and then backed slowly away, hands still up, until she was leaning against the wall. When David’s gun lowered, so did her hands. He reholstered his weapon and everyone let out a breath they hadn’t realized they were holding simultaneously. There was a round of nervous laughter from them all.

Isaac tried to remind himself to just keep breathing. "So... they're still Ellis, definitely. Angry?”

Iris smiled, and you couldn’t mistake that smile for anything but someone who was talking about her mother. “Angry all the time. They’re good with the dayschool, though. I go see them every day, mostly.”

“And… and Finn?"

There was a pause, and Iris’s eyes dropped. She picked at a loose thread on her sweater. "They're, um." Iris paused, and Isaac heard her shift in her chair. "They're… very sad. All the time. With my father-”

Isaac winced. “He’s not your-”

“I know. But he is my father, too. Please don’t-... please let me talk.” Her voice did tremble, then, and Isaac went quiet. “With my father, and around everyone who works with us, they seem mostly happy, I guess. I know my fathers love each other-”

“Bullshit,” Vera said, her voice flat. “They don’t love him.”

Iris didn’t look up. “They do,” She insisted. “They do love each other, but… but when I’m alone with Finn, they’re… they’re very sad. And they don’t love him any longer. Did you… do you know them? They told me stories, but they didn't-... there were always other people around, so-"

"So they didn't tell you everything."

"No. But… but I-... I want to get them - Ellis and Finn - away from my, um. My family."

Isaac wasn't thinking about self-protection. If Iris had wanted to, she could have had her bodyguard kill him, in that moment, his eyes closed and his guard down. He leaned slowly forward and put his head in his hands, the silence drawing out. No one drew a weapon. No one fired.

Isaac felt the punch of pain, anyway, the tears running down his face. 

That's not your family, Iris. We are. Or we were supposed to be. 

“Do they know-”

“Ellis knows. I mean, my mother knows.” Iris laughed, airily, and Isaac looked up through his hands to see the piercing sadness in her features, the blend of her mother and father so deeply written in every single gesture, each expressed emotions. “I’m not allowed to call them that, so, so I hope you don’t mind if I just do it all the time, for right now? My mother knows. But-”

“Finn doesn’t know?”

Iris swallowed, and glanced back at David, who looked impassively down at her, but he kept his hand on her shoulder. “No, Daddy doesn’t know.”

Isaac’s breath hitched. Daddy-

“I can-... I’m sometimes allowed to call them that. I call, um, my father is just… Father. Or Da, sometimes, he likes Da. But Finn isn’t-... Finn doesn’t know that we’re meeting today. They know I want to, and they know I’m doing something, but we can’t tell them what or when or any details.”

“Why not?” That was Vera - but there was a set to her jaw, and a tension to her words, that suggested she knew the answer before Iris ever spoke it out loud.

“Because… if Father asks them, they’ll tell him anything. Everything. Anything they know.”

Isaac breathed out. Slowly, slowly, trying to control the despair threatening to well up inside of him. “They’re tortured?”

“Um. Not… not exactly. They just… will. Father will ask, and he’ll… kiss them, or something-” Iris’s nose wrinkled in something like disgust. “Which, watching your fathers kiss is pretty weird, for the record-”

“No doubt,” Vera murmured, “When one of them doesn’t want to.”

“Um. Sort of.” Iris’s expression shifted - something Isaac couldn’t read there - and she shrugged. “In any case. He’ll ask, and they’ll tell, sooner or later. So Ellis - my mother, God, it’s so nice to say that out loud just like that - says they can’t know, it has to be a surprise for them. So we, um, we kind of have to abduct Finn, but-... but they’ll go, we just-... have to make it a surprise abduction.”

“As opposed to the usual kind, where you send a note they can RSVP to,” David rumbled behind Iris, and she shot him a brilliant smile over one shoulder, bumping her shoulder into his side.

“Anyway… my uncles Nate and Danny know. Nate and Ellis trade books a lot, they’ve been hiding messages in them.”

“Nate Vandrum,” Vera said. “Loyal to Danny Michaelson, not his last name. Which means…”

“Which means Danny wants in on this, wants to get them out.” Isaac ignored the odd little thrill of nostalgia. One week, fourteen years ago, and it had ended in disaster. And still part of him leapt at the idea of seeing Daniel Michaelson again. “Why now?”

“Because…” Iris took a breath, closed her eyes. Opened them again, and Isaac was caught all over again by how thoroughly Finn those eyes were, but full of all the sparkling life and light that was missing from Finn’s in every photograph taken since their disappearance, since they’d been turned into a plaything, but something worse and more than that.

Playthings are discarded. They die or get paid off to disappear. 

But Finn… Finn had been at Patrick Michaelson’s side for fourteen years. They were far more than a plaything. Patrick introduced them, Isaac had been told, as his consort. Like a fucking monarchy. 

What were Syndicates, really, but petty fucking kings and queens with little kingdoms where their word was law? Why wouldn’t Patrick style himself king, and style Finn something like consort, or concubine, or-

Or royal fucking whore-

His hands had closed into fists, palms aching where his nails were digging in. Isaac forced himself to slowly, carefully relax them. 

“Because what, Iris?” Vera had moved closer up behind Isaac, and he felt her hand settle warmly onto his right shoulder. A comfort - and Vera could reach down and take a gun from Isaac’s underarm holster in less time than it took to catch a breath. 

“Because, um.” Iris picked at her manicured fingernails, then looked up from under her lashes at them both. “Because I want to go with them, with you. I want-...” She swallowed, again and again. “Because I don’t want them to hurt anymore. Because Daddy’s so fucking sad, for me, and-”

“It’s not your fault,” Isaac said, his voice strangled, caught in his throat.

It’s mine, for taking the opportunity to run and never seeing that my freedom would be paid for with theirs.

“They’re ready because I’m ready. I want to be with my family, just the three of us. I want-... I want them to be my family. And Ellis said Isaac Moore was the only person they could think of who could ever get all three of us out alive.”

“No pressure, though,” Vera said softly.

“None at all,” Isaac said. He was floating. He was a thousand miles away. He was barely tethered to earth. “Well… fuck.”

“Fuck indeed.” Vera’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “We’re doing this, right?”

“Of course we are.” Isaac watched Iris from across the table, and then did his best to smile for her. “Okay, Iris Michaelson-”

“Iris Dunham-Price,” She countered, and Isaac nearly choked on a mix of pride and grief. “I mean. I hope to be. Once we’re out.”

“Iris Dunham-Price, then. You have yourself a deal. You want to help your family escape, and escape with them. I’ve-... I’ve been waiting to bring my family home for fourteen fucking years. So let’s both get what we want, okay?”

“Okay.”

Isaac held out his hand, and Iris held out hers. Her fingers were thin, but she shook his hand with a firm grip. 

“Deal,” Iris said, nodding once.

“Ellis teach you to shake hands that way? Thought you’d crush all my bones for a second.”

Iris laughed, really laughed, for the first time she’d entered. 

Her laughter sounded exactly like Finn’s.

---

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